#but right now i'm just so exhausted lol
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quick nosebleed seb doodle 😗😗
#i actually really dislike this but i'm conquering perfectionism right now!!#i really just want to get back to sharing stuff with y'all because it's become the highlight of my day when i do 🥺#idk if that's weird to say but hahah i've been so busy and exhausted it really has#i love interacting with the fandom sm 🥲💜#also sebastian definitely hit himself with his bludger after getting distracted by ravenclaw's seeker 😏#as a friend of milena's he'd be happy for her win but be so fkn sour as well because a win for her means a win for mousey LOL#oh and i've been so obsessed with quidditch champions too. after playing it i've gone down the rabbit hole of quidditch history TEHEE#okok i'll stop my yapping#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy art#sebastian sallow#quidditch#quidditch champions#sparxyvdoodles
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It's almost midnight but idc. After the week I've had all I want to do is curl up on them and fall asleep lol
Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni
#self ship community#self ship#f/o x s/i#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc zooble#tadc self ship#yeah. 3 days in a row of paranoia so bad it's making me physically ill 🙃#also think today it's started making my hair fall out so. that's great 👍#first it was about people secretly hating me and making fun of me behind my back for treating my self ship like it's real#today it's about people thinking I'm annoying and stupid#can my brain let me have like. one good day this week PLS#also having paranoia about other stuff but those were the main things#I'm so exhausted man. I just want to be in Zooble's arms right now is that too much to ask </3#OKAY WOW I did not mean for that to get venty sorry about that lol#as you can see it has been A week for me lol
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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bad news: I am very sick right now and these cough drops I have to take every few minutes taste like shit
good news: under the influence chapter two on saturday (probably) (unless I spontaneously get even sicker) (pray for me)
#literally it was so busy at work yesterday#and there were a ton of sick little kids#coming in and coughing and sneezing on everything#EVEN I KNEW TO COUGH INTO MY ARM AT THAT AGE?!#and I was like god I hope I don't get sick#and then I wake up today with my throat feeling like the desert#wtf...........#hopefully I feel better by saturday...#I have the whole day off to finish my proofreading and such#cause I just feel dreary and exhausted right now lol#but uuggghh I'm almost in the home stretch#I wanted to post the second chapter and the epilogue at the same time but#I'll probably just focus on finishing proofreading for now#and then the epilogue will be posted in the following days#thanks for sticking with me! (cough cough sputter die)
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Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.
All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much
#i liked rhe ending (though made the mistake to read comments so now I'm like 'yeah you are right that did not make sense' when on my own i#probably would not have noticed. but ok. I'll work my suspension of disbelief. HOWEVER the epilogue WAS indeed very lackluster#i get it's an epilogue but it was so rushed. we barely get a closure for ume and saichi and tanigaki did not get to#take asirpa back to uci as he should have (though he was instrumental for that). overall it was super rushed#like we did not even see how Sugimoto was rescued. the epilogue was faaaar too rushed tbh and also too vague in parts#siraishi not really saying goodbye.... also sugimoto and asirpa living together that's cute idc and i think the line into nastyness was not#crossed but oh boy is it a thin thread... i still choose to believe they are platonic soulmates lol but i want to see an official#translation of the volume that's all i say. what else... oh yes. the way the gold never got to actually be distributed doesn't sit right#with me at all but the worst part was definitely the sugimoto/ume thing oh god that was BAD#we did get to see osoma which was cute#OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VASILY??? We didn't even see him. the epoligue for him in particular was great though but his ending was not#like he just hanged around ogata gor chapters and chapters on end and we don't even get a glimpse of him during the final showdown??#tbh i think noda wanted to do something more with him but realized he did not quite fit into the story and in the end got#caught up with all the main lines he did have to close and he obviously had planned and probably combined with his own exhaustion well#did not go nice for vasily! i also would have liked a more proper epilogue for tsukishima and koito. they deserved it#I don't like how pre-epilogue the tsukishima-tsurumi-koito tension seems to reach a breaking point only to kind of not get resolved because#they have to keep fighting lol.#laura reads#also i get the sentiment of the ending regarding the ainu and i think noda did his best but it seems like a rather soft thing for asirpa to#do like... sure. museums and stuff. i GET it but it goes a little too soft in the actual colonialism that went on from the japanese. i feel#noda starts off fairly critical of that but in the end softens his stance which is a shame but ok. the bar is in hell so this is actually#much better than average from what i can personally gather of my little knowledge#golden kamuy#gk spoilers
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Chapter 10 is here! At long last!
Summary:
Four is 30 minutes away from the end of his tiring, humid shift when he meets a charmingly smooth man. Will this man sweep him off his feet and away from his cafe job? Or will he ignore the man and lose every chance of being happy?
Meanwhile, a familiar trio is struggling to stay sane as one of their members repeatedly does the same thing over and over again, expecting a different response. Will they escape the cycle? Or will they be doomed to repeat it?
#smg4#avatar peach au#au#smg4 mario#smg34#smg3#fanfic#smg4 fanfic#i am so tired right now and mentally exhausted so i don't have anything witty to say but here ya guys go!#(dw I'm not putting my health behind just to write this and get this out)#(I am just tired lol)
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i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected
#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn#at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life#things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no..#.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well#and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with#their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol#she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing#i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner#but her messages were truly annoying me#her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to..#talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning#our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao#she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me#and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭#idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3#i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful#i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on#and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡#even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial#am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please#she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol#but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed..#me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!!#but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼♀️#like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao#okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me#☁️
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Frustrating
Frustrating: "Causing feelings of anger and annoyance"
(Drakgo Drabble #84)
He drove her insane. Really, truly, insane. He made her want to rip her hair out, quit and never come back, strangle him until he was an entirely different kind of blue… something to make him understand how difficult he was to work with.
It wasn’t like she expected a lot! Certainly, she didn’t expect a “thank you”. Even if she regarded him as more of a playground pest he still held it in heart that he was evil, so she understood.
But why, she groused, pulling the blankets over her head, did he have to wake up at dawn?
#drakgo#drakken#shego#kim possible#drakken x shego#dr drakken#drakken and shego#shego and drakken#shego x drakken#drakgo drabbles#I'm back I guess lol#this one probably isn't as good as my older ones#but I am fucking exhausted#and life is truly terrible right now#and I just want to go to sleep forever#so you get this#not like anybody cares about them anyway
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so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude
#[tears in my fucking eyes] WHAT IF DND WAS GOOD!! WHAT IF A DM THAT'S GOOD!!!#LIKE I've said actually MOST of my DMs are good but because of the way this situation was presented specifically#where-- as NOT the affected player-- it does feel like the way it came up was a little unfair and I AM worried about the stakes--#I REALLY SPENT SO MUCH OF THAT ABOVE-TABLE TALK GOING OH WOW I FEEL LIKE OUR FRIEND ACTUALLY LOVES US AND WANTS THIS TO BE FUN!!#I DON'T KNOW THAT I AGREE WITH WHAT HE'S DOING HERE BUT I TRUST MY FRIEND AND IT'S SAFE FOR US TO TALK ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS PLAYER TO DM!!#WOWIE THAT FEELS RELEVANT TO MY DND EXPERIENCE RIGHT NOW LMAO!!!#'I've looked at your stats and inventories to try to make this serious but balanced but if it doesn't work we can retool it'#'I want to be extremely clear that this situation could kill destal so I want to be extremely sure that you're comfortable with that--#-- and with how the mechanics are designed around it'#I am fucking. on my KNEES WEEPING. at the contrast with how punishing and DEEPLY unfun felix campaign has relentlessly been the whole time#and how little of a fuck it feels like THAT DM gives when he's like 'this random rolltable encounter was deadly :)'#'you guys didn't get hit last time and got all your spells back right?' uhhh wrong and wrong and we TALKED about that last time#are you gonna revisit the balance on your fifth in a row 'if you fail you'll TPK' scenario? no? yeah I figured lol#christ knows HE'S never invited feedback on his DMing. you KNOW I don't feel safe to say 'hey this doesn't feel fair or fun' with him#AND LIKE!! WITH A DM I TRUST I FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO REALLY PLAY WITH SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING!! YAY YIPPEE STAKES AND PATHOS!!!#I don't just want nothing bad to happen ever! but I don't want it to feel careless or heartless or just... Not Fun#anyway. grasping william's hands so tightly. my beloved friend. my wonderful friend. what a relief to have a DM that's good#after the shit we've been through in our now most-frequently-run campaign#the thing I'm mad about is that destal has been making a mystery saving throw every night-- but this was imperceptible to the characters#so we weren't acting on it#and now that he's failed it three times the situation is 'okay NOW you will be maming a con save every night and accumulating exhaustion'#'which can't be removed by sleeping' [six levels of exhaustion Kill You]#so like!! well okay I wish we had had ANY way of knowing how urgent this was before we got to 'now there's a deadly countdown' BUT OKAY#but like I said. he clearly put a lot of thought into the math for the mechanics#he made sure that we DO actually have ANYTHING we can do to mitigate the condition and outlined several options specifically and clearly#he checked in with justin about whether that seemed fair and opened it for future retooling if necessary#so I'm just at 'that was kind of a rugpull dude :/' instead of DESPAIRING lmao#this is a level of Oh Shit that's juicy! this is a level of Oh Shit that might force dramatic character choices out of desperation!#THIS IS AN OH SHIT WHERE WE STILL GET TO PLAY DND ABOUT IT AND HAVE ANY AGENCY WHATSOEVER. WHAT A CONCEPT.#ANYWAY!!! GOOD DND SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!
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in all seriousness. im exhausted lol
#txt#its very hard 2 keep myself alive actually its kinda exhausting and on top it all off i dont have my medication bc i have to take a FUCKING#assessment every fucking 2 years or whatever to PROVE THAT THE FUCKING DISORDERS I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ARE STILL IN MY BRAIN WHICH IS SO#FUCKING STUPID THERE IS NO FUCKING CURE TO AUTISM OR ADHD WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING PEOPLE THINK IT EXPIRES GO TO HELL??????#and its so HARD bc im not medicated i need money to live but i CANT live like everyone does because I Am Not Strong Enough#like genuinely people have no idea how easy it would be To Me to just end it and that i Only don't do it because there are people who would>#miss me. like i swear to god i'm not good right now and idk if this feeling is ever gonna go away bc it's been here since i was like. 5#lol. yay ❤️
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I think curling up and falling asleep on Zooble would fix me <3
#slowly slipping into my monthly episode but I'm trying my best to keep it together 👍#thinking about Zooble helps a lot so i'm just going to keep doing that lol#anyway ummmm today has left me exhausted but I'm too stressed to sleep yet#soooo I'm just sitting here. thinking about Zooble as usual <3#literally all i want to do right now is get all cozy and cuddle and fall asleep with them <3
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I have been having a hard time falling asleep lately like not as bad as pre-taking sleeping meds ... it only takes an hour to be snorking and mimiming but my body hurts all over and I toss and turn and I can't get my brain to Shut UP no matter how exhausted I am it's the worst like I just have to wait for the sleeping pills to take over bc otherwise I could probably stay up for 3 hours trying to sleep without them
#-_-#also today i was thinking in circles in the shower. i was in there for FORTY MINUTES i exited feeling dehydrated as fuck lol#it's all just 'im so tired. why am I trying so hard. this is trying? all i do is try to be normal and i call this trying hard? but it is'#'it is hard. for me right now it's hard. and im trying. but it sucks because it all feels so wishy washy lackluster slowed down bleak dull'#'like. it's like I'm going through the motions except im very aware of the motions so im forcing myself to go through them but then that#wouldnt be going through the motions would it? because doesn't that expression imply a sort of mindlessness and robotic behaviour lacking#awareness? except i am aware. i am acutely aware that im simply doing for the sake of doing and passing time slowly and not in a soothing#way but rather in a way that feels draining and exhausting#and im almost always dreading the next task and almost always unsatisfied at the end of each day'#good grief.#z.post
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slowly starting to crash... very very tired... hopefully can... get through working this weekend.... and finally have a break...... (coughs and fucking dies)
#hey I got the viktor fic to 10k words tho yayyy#it's getting even longer (not surprising)#so it probably won't be finished for a bit longer now#goddd my body just feels so tired all over#probably because I'm going to start my period#normally I'd be so ready for a break#lord I was not built to work this much#and then I'm supposed to have monday off but#apparently no one has told me yet but there's a little rumor floating around that the boss is going to ask me to work#guys I'm literally just gonna say no#I need a day man#if I don't I might literally die lol#uuugh I just want to write more and stuff but like#my brain is dying and I know#that the only reason I feel frustrated with what I'm writing right now is because my brain is exhausted#but I can't have a break yettttt#can someone please sleep for an extra few hours for me and psychically transfer the sleep to my body
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google search how to stop being so autistic because i'm apparently ruining my friendships by acting like an asshole and having no idea and i'm already so fucking exhausted
#my post#vent#like i don't think people get it lol#how fucking exhausting it is to have a million programs open in my head every time i have a fucking conversation#how i leave every fucking conversation wondering if everyone thinks i'm a massive dick#and it turns out that wow i was right to think that! just when i think i'm doing better apparently no i'm not!#it feels like the rules change every second and i don't know how everyone can just fucking GET it#like i'm trying i'm really fucking trying and apparently i'm not trying hard enough even though i'm so fucking tired#saw someone discuss this#how she feels the constant processing and the feeling over never being able to catch up is why autistic people kill themselves#and honestly yeah i agree because how the fuck am i supposed to fucking live like this#i dunno i'm just. tired#being like this just makes me want to not speak to anyone#hell maybe people would prefer it that way#i don't blame them i just wish people would understand it's so goddamn fucking hard and i'm so tired all the time#idk i'm being a lil bitch right now and i don't know what to do i just needed to vomit this out#peace and love and back to our regularly scheduled programming
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holy shit never before have i wanted an easy restock food button as much as i do right now, because this constant back and forth and clicking and shit is absolute murder to my wrists right now
#gremlin blabs#sorry for complaining about my stupid weak baby wrists on main#... on side? meh whatever#i just fucked them up again after a while of them doing well#and they've been awful for the past week#and i'm trying to refill my food stocks right now#and just. fucking hell it hurts like hell lol#i've already wanted this to be a thing for a while because refilling food is so extremely exhausting to me#i feel like fucking sisyphus every time i have to do it#but now it's also hurting me so yay#it wouldn't be as bad if i had higher amounts of high point food items but i do not so </3
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a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)
#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have#heart disease.#scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it#but it's been years now so I don't remember the details#just that that's a thing apparently#and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that#do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :)#it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week.#like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭#also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary.#like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and#yeah it sucks.#specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't#need to say it where anyone can see#it's embarrassing enough#though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about.#like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45.#it's so unbelievably exhausting.#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)#oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently#that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me#haha isn't that fun :) )#ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very#well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part.#and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for#this long. so. guess I'm just fucked.#personal
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