#but really wanted to be done with succ first

[jordynbreeloa777]

Can you tell me the things that you've manifested?

Take love 💖

Hi anon! Also im not FULLY DONE with all my “big” manifestations i have manifested a lot in my journey! LONG POST AHEAD👀

sharp jawline, high defined cheekbones, slim face, overall 0 face fat, and a L, V shaped jawline. I lovee that I manifested this one because people literally ask me if I do mewing, and how my jawline is so sharp I manifested this with subliminals, even though I kinda already had a defined face I definitely enhanced it to the max ✨

thicker, fuller, better shaped brows. I think I mentioned this in one of my last post but I also manifested this with subliminals & robotic affirmations, this is probably my biggest one since I manifest it in a day 😭 I swear before my eyebrows was so thin, didn’t fit my face, and was giving pencil. But now it’s so pretty and my mom always tells me “ you always look like you got your eyebrows done” and “ did you brush your brows today?” 💈🎀

smaller nostrils. Which also I used subliminals, there is a visible change in my nose as the nostrils go more /\ instead of () which I love and the tip is more rounded, im not really done with this though because I may manifest a desired nose shape instead of just smaller👀

lips, this one is kinda self explanatory but I manifested plumper lips, pinker, and pointy lip corners also by subliminals 👄

clear skin, which I love because my skin use to have tiny bumps, but it’s clear and even though I manifested this a while ago it still IS! my friend asked me for my skincare rountine which was literally a affirmation in the subliminal 🫣

hair. I’m not done with this, but my hair definitely got much thicker then it was before 💇🏽‍♀️

lashes. My lashes are thicker, but im not done with this eitherr because I want them to be a little longer so half succes story ig 🫶🏽

‘TEETH. I have braces, so I didn’t manifest teeth change, because obviously the braces is already fixing my teeth plus I love how they look on me, but I manifested white teeth 🦷

~BODY TEAA⏳

less neck lines, I got these because of fake necklaces and it made me not like it so I manifested it away💋

strong, defined, collar bones, I already had this but I enhanced it and it’s so much more noticeable!

arms. I manifested slimmer, toner, longer arms ( I already had long arms but again I enhanced them)

fingers & nails. This one is kinda big, but my nails are so long and strong even my toe nails 😭 But I cut them ofc and my fingernails break because of sports so I may manifest them to never break even though they grow SUPER fast💨

flat stomach, which I manifested using subliminals it’s literally like paper, but I may manifest for it to still be flat when I get bloated because your girl still likes to buss down food🤗

thicker thighs. My thighs don’t have a gap, and there a little toned which I lovee (also subs)✨

bigger booty meatt- this may be tmi but I had to add it. I may manifest it to be bigger but y’all… it be showing. literally my friends be harassing me everytime I wear dresses😒

🍒- I manifested for them to look pretty, there not to big, not to small there like C cup and I love themm, so mwah

taller height. I was at first like 5’4 and now im 5’6.. not to tall not to short but i love my height my Dad even asked me “are you having a growth spurt” plus my legs are so long now <3

i manifested good exam marks.. only A’s & B’s without even studying 📚

SATS.

i manifested for my knees, elbows, and knuckles to all be the same color by affirming I have a even body skintone 🤞🏽

now this is probably all i manifested in the 4 years i been in the community! I’m still not “done” with all my “big manifestations” or my “journey” but I know it’s coming to an end 💝

[mandobatemans]

intrigue (Tom Wambsgans x f!reader)

warnings: infidelity, fingering, unprotected piv sex, soft!dom tom, size kink kinda, biting, greg, do NOT have sex with the head of conservative news organizations irl!!!, i am a shivcel fr anything negative abt shiv in here i didn't mean it ily siobhan 🫶, NSFW UNDER THE CUT

word count: 4,740 (i got carried away)

A/N: this is loosely based on s4 e7 but there's no real timeline so it probably takes place like somewhere around season 3 or 4? this is my first succ fic so...enjoy 🤗 & also this took me SO long to write i'm so deeply sorry to anyone who was waiting

also posted to ao3

Tom had never been a fan of the whole “open marriage” arrangement. When he thought back to that fateful night (fateful night…who else would say that about their wedding night?) what he remembered most was the look on Shiv’s face when she told him that she wanted an open marriage. On their wedding night.

It was more for Shiv anyway. Tom rarely thought about actually acting on the arrangement, whether it be out of love for Shiv or loyalty to her father, he wasn’t sure. Sure, he had kissed someone here or done oral there when high on coke, but he had never actually fucked anyone else.

Something was different, though, tonight. Firstly, they were hosting a Waystar/ATN event at their apartment, and despite being chairman of ATN, he wasn't even sure what the evening was for. Shiv had told him about it last minute, casually mentioning it as they were being driven to work, like it was dinner at Logan’s rather than hundreds of media moguls and politicians to host. Actually, dinner at Logan’s felt equally, if not more, important than tonight. A better equivalent for how nonchalantly Shiv had mentioned it would be Connor inviting them somewhere.

Secondly, Shiv had suggested, outright, that they both find someone to hook up with at the party tonight. Earlier in their bedroom, after getting dressed in silence, Shiv had turned to Tom while putting her earrings in to share the idea. He knew she would be acting on it whether or not he did, and why shouldn’t he? It had been a while since he had gotten laid and was verbally (and physically) assaulting Greg a lot more as a result.

Did he just pick someone? How did you approach someone and say, “Hey, I’m in an open marriage but I’ve never actually done anything more than get my dick sucked with anyone else…anyway, let’s fuck!”

Tom fidgeted with his glass as he surveyed the room.

Despite your personal beliefs and the endless human rights violations that Waystar was affiliated with, their (and by extension ATN) events were some of the most lavish you'd ever attended. As a political journalist, it was standard for your company to send a journalist or two to whatever soirée the Roys were throwing. Everyone took turns, and this time you had drawn the short straw. It hadn’t been too bad so far, you thought, although perhaps you were jinxing yourself. You had kept to yourself mostly, chatting with other journalists you frequently saw around the city on assignments, snacking on the hors d'oeuvres, and listening to the ridiculous conversations political and media bigwigs were having.

You had been to an event hosted by the Roys before, but they were usually at ATN, Waystar, or some expensive venue. Being invited as a member of the press to Shiv Roy’s apartment felt strangely intimate. You were certain this was some calculated business move on the part of one Roy or the other, but you honestly didn’t really care. Whatever drama was happening within Waystar Royco was contained within the Roy family. You were simply here to supplement a piece your coworker was writing on the atmosphere of this political season.

It was only an hour into the party when you had collected all the quotes and interviews you needed, and sampled almost all of the hors d'oeuvres. Your boss expected journalists to stay for most, if not all, of the night for these things, in case some political bombshell were to happen. You were pretty sure nothing too monumental was going to happen in this room full of suits, especially with all of the Roys notably absent from the festivities. Even Shiv, whose house it was, looked like she wasn't paying any attention to what was going on in her home. In fact, she had been in the corner all night, talking to some prominent New York and D.C. women, important enough that you knew their faces but not important enough for you to attach any names to them.

You checked your phone for the time. You could probably get away with leaving in another hour if you made up some family emergency as an excuse for your editor. Even another hour seemed like ages. Maybe you could re-interview some people? Speak to some guests whose quotes would never make it in the article just to kill time? Sighing, you opened your messages, thumbs hovering over the chat with your editor, putting your journalism degree to use by brainstorming an excuse to get you back home in your bed before ten o’clock. When you turned around to pace while you typed (a nervous habit), you found yourself face-to-face with one of your hosts.

It felt like a fucking cliché. Literally bumping into someone at a party? If one of your writer friends wrote something like this, you'd tell them it was bullshit and things like that didn't happen in real life. Yet here you were, inches away from–

“Tom Wambsgans, Chairman of Global Broadcast News at ATN.” He introduced himself, reaching out a hand for you to shake.

You returned the handshake, grateful that he wasn’t offended by you bumping into him. “I know who you are.”

“And I know who you are.” He paused. “That sounded stalkerish, didn’t it? I meant, I know who you are because I’ve read your articles.”

“You have?” You were surprised. Your company and your articles in particular were considered left-leaning, the very opposite of the stories ATN ran.

He nodded. “Gotta keep up with the competition. I’ve seen some of your features on the network, as well.”

“Really? I would have thought you would just watch ATN all day,” you teased.

Tom made a face and then shook his head. “No, no, no. Plus, I wouldn’t really call any of our journalists ‘journalists’ so much as pretty faces. You do your own research and look good on the camera. That’s impressive.”

You raised an eyebrow and Tom’s eyes widened, processing what he had just said.

“God, I do sound like a fucking stalker.”

You laughed, “Just a little bit.” You let him cringe for a second, then smiled to reassure him. “No, but I’ve seen some of your interviews since you took over ATN. You look good on the camera, too.” You paused, before adding, “Maybe that makes us both a little stalkerish.”

His eyes lit up at your response, earning a genuine laugh (the first one that night not faked for some suit, he noted).

“Uh, sorry for bumping into you. I wasn't looking where I was going,” you explained, waving your phone in your hand for context.

“Ah, cell phone. The curse of the twenty-first century.”

You furrowed your brow involuntarily for a moment. He wasn't how you expected the spouse of a Roy to be like. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you weren't yet sure.

“I’m making a huge ass of myself, aren't I?” He sighed. “I’ll leave you to the party–”

“No! It’s okay. Stay,” you heard yourself say. It was Tom’s turn to raise an eyebrow. Okay. You found him attractive. And even despite his eccentric comments, you also found yourself wanting to talk to him more. You were, however, purposely avoiding looking at the wedding ring on his finger.

To Tom, it all seemed too perfect. You, for example. He was being honest when he said he had seen and read some of your work and that he enjoyed it, and he did sometimes watch other networks to get an idea of the competition, but he had left out the fact that there was something about you in particular that made him watch the entire segment when you happened to be on air. And the fact that sometimes he'd scroll through your articles online and imagine you reading them aloud to him. But he wasn’t a stalker. And now you were here, in his house, on the night that his wife had all but shoved him into the bed of anyone that he wanted.

But still; one pleasant, slightly flirtatious conversation didn't mean you wanted to ride off into the sunset with him. Or, more accurately, go upstairs with him.

He scanned the room for Siobhan. Although it had been her suggestion, and he knew she had acted on the arrangement before, he still felt like it was somehow a trap. Like she’d hire someone to hide behind the bedroom door that night and catch him with his pants down (literally) to use as blackmail.

But sure enough, she was across the room, laughing at something some lobbyist had said, and resting her hand on the other woman’s arm slightly longer than a casual touch would last.

The longer he thought about it, the more confident he felt. If you were interested, he wanted to spend the night with you. And maybe more. But he was getting ahead of himself.

“It's kind of loud over here. Come on,” he gestured with his head toward the opposite corner of the apartment, one not occupied by any guests save for an elderly politician snoring on the couch.

You followed him, nodding when he asked if you wanted another drink before picking a champagne flute off of a passing server’s tray. He handed it to you once you reached the corner, your hands touching during the exchange. It seemed like even more of a cliché to feel sparks fly at this tiny touch, so you ignored that, as well.

“You host these kinds of things often?” You asked, leaning against the wall and taking a sip of your champagne. The room was full of very important people, though none of them seemed to be talking about very important things. You couldn't quite wrap your head around why a high-level executive who had married into one of the largest media conglomerates was wasting his time talking to you (flirting with you?), but you had seen stranger things in this city.

He grimaced and shook his head. “No, no. I’m usually just a guest.” Tom laughed and took a sip of his drink. “And not a very important one, at that.”

“I’m sure that's not true. I mean, how many people watch ATN? And you’re in charge of what airs or doesn't air.”

“1.89 million,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink, “Outside of the office, nobody’s really worried about what I think.”

“Not even your wife?” You stopped after you said the words, giving your brain a second to catch up with your mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect, I–”

“No, no, no, no, it’s okay,” he assured you, reaching out to rest a hand on yours consolingly. Tom leaned in closer so only you would hear him, unnecessary considering the secluded corner you two were in.

“But no, not even my wife.”

Your eyes darted to his hand atop yours, suddenly aware of how large his hands were. They almost completely covered yours, and they felt so comfortable and right there, like–

“We have an open marriage,” he suddenly said.

“Oh.”

Tom seemed disappointed with this reaction, quickly removing his hand from yours and adding, “That’s just to say that, our marriage is, uh, unconventional, so her not caring what I have to say isn’t that unusual.”

You were still processing the feel of his hand on yours, much less the revelation that he actually might be flirting with you and that it actually might go somewhere. By the time your thoughts caught up with you, it seemed like he was about ready to excuse himself and go scream at his reflection in the bathroom.

“Well, I’m sorry about that,” you responded, mirroring his gesture from before and resting your hand on top of his to comfort him. “You don’t deserve that, really.”

He scoffed. “You don't know what I deserve.”

You looked up at him, taking the time to absorb the look in his eyes that revealed just how much he was going through.

“Uh, Tom?”

Tom rolled his eyes and turned away from you to snap at the source of the interruption. “What, Greg? Can’t you see I’m having a conversation?”

“It’s just–well, Shiv is leaving with someone.” The taller man gestured at the door, where sure enough, Shiv was weaving her way through the crowd toward the elevators with the lobbyist from earlier, her hand guiding her by the small of her back.

Tom bit the inside of his cheek. “Well, Greg, we do have an open marriage. So, everything’s fine. Now, scram.”

Greg looked between the two of you and hesitated for a second before nodding and disappearing back into the bustle of the party.

Tom turned back to you. “That’s Shiv’s cousin, Greg. I’ve sort of taken him under my corporate wing, so to speak. Showing him the ropes and all that.”

You nodded, finishing your champagne.

“Well,” he said.

“Well,” you echoed.

He paused for a minute, though it seemed to last much longer than that. “You’re writing an article about this party, right?”

“Yeah,” you responded, unsure of where he was going with this.

Tom leaned in, lowering his voice. “What would your editor say if you got a behind-the-scenes look at the party?”

You raised your eyebrow.

“Of course, you'd have to come upstairs…” Something shifted in his tone. You were well aware of what the change implied, and you’d be lying if you said you didn't want to jump at the offer. This wasn’t you, though. Sleeping with a married man? On top of that, not just any married man, but the host of the party that you were covering for work. It sounded like a problem you’d encounter on an Intro to Ethics exam. But any moral qualms you had about the issue were pushed out of your head when you registered the way Tom was looking at you.

“Of course,” you repeated, nonchalantly, setting your empty champagne glass on a nearby table.

Something flickered in Tom’s eyes. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way, Wambsgans,” you replied, gesturing dramatically.

Neither of you spoke for the entire walk away from the excitement of the party to the quiet of Tom’s bedroom. It looked much like you had expected it to look: modern, chic, and impersonal. You were sure Tom (or Shiv) had some personal items somewhere in the house, but the bedroom was so clean and styled that the only indication anyone slept or dressed in there was some of Shiv’s makeup and jewelry strewn haphazardly on the vanity.

When he had closed the door behind you, Tom stepped closer to you experimentally, as if he was afraid you'd flee like a wild deer if he moved too fast. You stepped closer as well, which seemed to give Tom the permission he was looking for. Within seconds, his mouth was on yours, his hands cupping your face, all tongue and teeth. There was hunger and desperation in the kiss, but it was hypnotizing, beckoning you deeper and deeper. He was almost doubled over to reach you (god, he was tall), so you shifted your weight to stand on your tiptoes.

Tom broke the kiss, leaving you with a confused look on your face.

He shed his suit jacket, throwing it carelessly on the floor. Next, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. Tugging on the length of his tie, he loosened it enough to undo a few buttons at his collar, revealing an inviting expanse of chest hair.

“Turn around,” he told you, snapping you out of your male-stripper-fantasy gaze.

You did as he said, something in his tone going straight to your core. You felt him run his hands from your shoulders down your arms, then down your hips and up to your waist, the action bunching up the fabric of your dress. He moved your hair to the side, pressing hot kisses to your neck that made your eyes roll back.

“Can I take this off?” He whispered, his lips trailing up to your ear.

You nodded in response, trembling momentarily under his touch. Tom unzipped your dress, helping you push it down your body and step out of it. He unhooked the back of your bra without moving further. It occurred to you then how wrong this was, to be sleeping with someone else’s husband in their own bedroom, but to your surprise, you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about was the heat of Tom’s gaze on your bare back. You took your bra off the rest of the way and discarded it on the ground next to your dress. Once in only your underwear, you turned back around to face him, watching his eyes follow every curve of your body to drink in the newly exposed skin.

“Wow,” he said, simply, reaching out to grab you by the hips and pull you closer to him. “You’re gorgeous.”

Grinning, you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him again, cradling his face in your hands. You felt him smile back into your kiss. Before you knew it, he had you pressed against the wall, totally enclosed by his larger form. He went from kissing you on your lips to your neck to behind your ear to your chest, as if he couldn't decide which spot deserved the most attention or for how long.

One of his hands slid down to the waistband of your underwear, the cold metal of his wedding ring a shock against your hot skin. You made eye contact with him as his hand slipped between the fabric and your skin cup your cunt, whining when you felt his touch. He seemed to get off on that, capturing you in a kiss again at the same time he slipped a digit into your wet heat. You were too hot; you pressed your hand to his chest to stabilize yourself and pushed your underwear down your legs and kicked them off. Tom smiled at this, getting right back to pumping his finger in and out at a pace that almost made you melt down the wall.

It was probably a power trip thing, you thought, you totally naked and him almost fully clothed. You didn't mind because it was kinda hot, but it wasn't what you had expected from Tom based on the unassuming, Midwestern image of him that was circulated in columns and by the Roys themselves. But, then again, you hadn't expected to find yourself in this position at all when you left your apartment earlier that night.

The pace of his fingers felt so good, so intoxicating, that now that you had him, you needed more of him.

“A-another one,” you whined between kisses.

When you opened your eyes to look at him, Tom had a smug look on his face. Sure, it was arrogant, but it turned you on, so who really cared? “Yeah?” he asked, “You want another one?”

“Tom,” you hissed, gripping onto his shoulder as his finger curled in just the right way that it made your legs go numb.

The look remained on his face, but he added another finger nonetheless. Tom appeared to inhabit both extremes when it came to sex: he really wanted to pleasure you but he also really wanted to do what he wanted. Luckily, those two wants aligned.

He was making you feel so good that you needed to have more of him. Your kisses got sloppier, each so desperate to be further molded with one another that your tongues tried to push impossibly further into the other’s. Tom shifted his hand so he could angle his thumb to rub slow, tantalizing circles on your clit as he continued to pump his fingers. Your grip on his shoulder tightened–you feared your fingernails would leave dents in his skin–but like so many other things tonight, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You could feel the pressure rising in your middle, your cunt clenching around his fingers in anticipation of your impending orgasm, but then it stopped.

You opened your eyes that you hadn't realized were squeezed shut to look at Tom, who had his hand in front of your face, fingers glistening with your slick. “Open,” he encouraged. You obeyed, accepting his fingers into your mouth and licking them clean with a ‘pop.’ He stared at you like you had hung the stars in the sky. He jerked his head toward the bed. “Sit.”

There was authority in his commands, but you didn’t fear him; from the short amount of time you had spent with him, you knew he was at his core a sweet man. You would admit to yourself that you had been curious how his awkward, nervous energy would translate into the bedroom, but once alone, he seemed to be a different man.

You watched him strip off the rest of his clothes eagerly, smiling up at him once he rejoined you on the bed totally naked. He must’ve noticed you staring, because he asked: “Do you want me to put on a condom?”

You shrugged, shifting your eyes back up to his own. “No, it’s okay. I'm on birth control.”

He sighed in relief. “Good. I don't even know if I have one in here.”

“Then why’d you ask?” You laughed, encouraged by the smile that crossed his face when you did so.

“Seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do. If you said yes, I would’ve sent someone to go get one or borrowed one from–”

“Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“Just fuck me already.”

“Alright. If you say so,” he teased, leaning down over you to kiss you. Both your lips were red and puffy from all the kissing and some biting, but it didn’t matter. You could feel his cock pushing against your stomach from the angle, so you reached down to take him in your hand and pump his length.

“Fuck,” he murmured against your skin, face buried in your neck as he pressed kisses to the every inch of available flesh, “Fuck…Can I?”

“Please,” you responded, noticing a little desperate hitch in your voice that you ignored. Tom licked his hand and cupped your sex with it, running the pads of his middle fingers through your folds a few times to collect the wetness between your legs. Gently, he guided his length into your opening

inch by inch, watching your face for any sign of discomfort before bottoming out.

You should’ve expected his dick to be big from his height, the size of his hands, his nose, whatever, but you hadn’t considered just how big. It was quite a stretch to take him fully, but he gave you all the time you needed to adjust and get comfortable. When you were ready, you bucked your hips up into his to give him the okay.

Tom took your permission to move and ran with it, grabbing your left leg and placing it over his shoulder before pressing you down further into the mattress with his body weight so he could thrust into you at a deeper angle.

You lifted your head to meet him to return to making out, the sensation of his tongue down your throat even more erotic now that he was inside of you, as well.

His thrusts were deep but not as aggressive as he had been with his fingers. He wouldn’t vocalize this, or even admit to himself that he was thinking this, but he wanted this to last. As much as it was supposed to be a hookup–emotionless sex–he found himself wanting it to happen again, despite his attempts to push those thoughts deep into the recesses of his mind.

One arm was thrown around Tom’s neck, hand gripping a fistful of his hair. Your other hand went down to your clit, beginning to rub circles to match the pace of his thrusts.

“You wanna cum again?” He teased, “Again, when I haven't cum once?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, playfully, slipping your finger down from your clit to lightly stroke the length of his cock that wasn't fully inside of you.

He let out a moan, eyes twinkling as he snapped his hips a little harder, snickering when you gasped in response.

Tom caught you in another kiss, resting his weight on his forearm that was positioned next to your head. You arched your back up into him, urging him deeper, which he obliged. “Touch yourself,” he said, disconnecting his mouth from yours just long enough to give the command.

You smiled into his lips, rubbing your clit again as his thrusts became sloppier and jerkier. He was holding on until you came again, despite his earlier cockiness. The moment he felt your walls tighten around him, he let go, spilling inside of you with a grunt.

He pulled out, rolling off of you to lay beside you.

Tom was still catching his breath, and you watched his chest heave for a few moments. “Hey, you okay?” He asked. “Everything alright?”

You smiled, nodding and reaching over to kiss him again. “I'm good, yeah. You?”

“Perfect, actually.” Tom smiled back at you. He found himself lost in the moment, lost in your eyes, lost in the connection you two had just had, and it was too much for him. Quickly, he sat up, ready to change the subject. “You need to clean up?”

You furrowed your brow at the sudden shift in his demeanor, but going along with it nonetheless. Despite him just having been inside you, you didn't feel like it was your place to mention the change. “Yeah. Can I?” You asked, gesturing vaguely toward the bathroom.

“Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Towels are above the sink.”

You flung your legs over the side of the bed and stood, heading toward the bathroom. “I’ll just clean off real quick, then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“No, no, no. I mean, you can stay the night. If you’d like, that is. I could call you a car, though, if I’ve made some awful faux pas and you don’t want to look at me for another–”

“Tom.” He focused on you again after his brief spiral. “I would like to stay.”

He grinned. “Great, that's great.”

“Just let me–” You waved your hands around your lower body, “–clean all this up.”

“Yeah, of course, sure. I’ll be here.” He added the last part in a quasi-sing-song voice.

At the sound of the shower turning on, Tom rose to locate his clothes and try to clean up. He pulled his boxers back on, taking his dress shirt, pants, & jacket to be thrown into the hamper. They really should be dry-cleaned, he considered, but found that he couldn’t be bothered. As for your clothes, he wasn’t sure what exactly to do with them, so he laid your dress across a chair in the bedroom and left your bra and underwear on the floor. He was still considering whether he should pick them up or not when you came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your torso.

Once you had dressed in your undergarments again and Tom had given you an undershirt to sleep in, you started to wonder what all this meant. If it had just been a hookup, why were you staying the night? You had thought you’d feel dirty and disgusted with yourself, spending the night in someone else’s bed with someone else’s husband, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what that said about you, what it meant that you were perfectly comfortable talking into the night with Tom, both laughing and sharing stories long after you had agreed to turn the lights off and get some sleep. That almost made it worse, you thought, that it wasn’t just sex. That made it dangerous.

After you had drifted off, Tom spent a few minutes watching you sleep. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear, watching the worries of the day wash off your face while you slept. He knew it was wrong to be more comfortable in this bed with you than he was with his own wife. But that was something to deal with (or repress) in the morning. Here, now, with you wrapped in his and Shiv’s bedsheets, your form against his chest rising and falling with his breaths, he could pretend it was meant to be like this.

@swiftcession @greenwrldsz @zirrocom @lukas-matsson @ledtassoo @bluecruz97 @rita-lean @grainyimag3

[blixabargelds]

Hiii Frankie 💕 7, 8 and 15 please ( for the writer ask meme)

thank you babieee

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

man this was hard. it’s honestly probably this long ass paragraph from my succession fic this mess we’re in. there’s holes i can poke it in from a writing perspective, i think my syntax is maybe lacking a little in what i now think of as my unique style, but man. it’s the one that came to my head and my gut so. it’s so personal and raw and uncomfortable and honest. i put my entire soul into this fic and i think this part both resonated deeply with a lot of readers which is so important to me, and is one of the reasons when i was in the succ fandom i had a lot of people tell me i was The roman roy understander. i think i’m good at getting into characters heads and this encapsulates that pretty well.

Roman’s never said yes please in his fucking life, but he has wanted it. It just rarely aligns for him like it does for other people. His head wants it, and his dick doesn’t. His dick wants it, and his head wants it to stop. He’s practised in knowing which part to listen to. Normally, the choice which makes whoever is fucking him get it over with. Fight or flight doesn’t work for him, he knows this, so he freezes until one of them comes. It’s not never him. Occasionally his head and his dick want it, like when Grace had worn that pantsuit and choked him still wearing it, or Gerri- he’d wanted it every time with her. She’d got it right, too. That razor’s edge of pain and pleasure, always pressed slightly closer to the former vein for Roman to feel right. Roman’s been thinking about it all, since he’s started staying with Stewy. About the possibility of being normal with sex. The idea of waking up next to someone and not immediately wanting to slink away, pretend it didn’t happen. The idea of getting fucked without being held down or hit. He just can’t picture it for himself. He’s been thinking about how he can’t get into some rooms of his head. He’s started to remember being called beautiful, a long time ago. He still hasn’t been to his barber.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

again so hard!! i love dialogue and it’s something i think i’m really good at and get the most comments on. honestly there’s probs better ones i’ve done but i really love this exchange when john is trying to distract gale from getting his fucked up arm reset in this must be the place. mostly bc i came up w the meatball story on the spot it just flowed out of me i should write for scooby doo fr. and i also love the desperation of trying to distract someone from inevitable horror without giving away your gay love in a POW camp. idk it’s just fun

“Remember when you thought you saw a ghost in England?”

“Did not,” Gale says. His breathing isn’t quite right. Restrained and sharp, but John can tell he’s trying.

“You did,” John presses on. Buck turns his head a little, the anticipation of going untouched clearly building, but John takes his chin between his thumb and forefinger, brings him back around to look at him. “You woke me up at Christ knows what time. I never seen you so frantic, I thought you were finally drunk. And you shook me awake, oh, Bucky, I saw somethin’. Oh, Bucky, I swear it was movin’ through the north side barracks.” Gale blinks slowly, huffs out a small laugh. “And I thought you’d gone crazy. ’Cos Buck Cleven, he told me he don’t believe in any of that bushwa first day I met him, when I told you my grandma used to post up in Ma’s house when she was already long gone.”

“Didn’t see no ghost, John,” Gale says. John knows he can sense Doc moving beside him, now. He’s gone tense, chest rising and falling with gaining speed.

“Hey, Buck, hey,” John says, trying desperately to pull his attention back to him. Gale meets his eyes, and John is hopeless to combat the panic in them. “I know you didn’t. Remember what it was, huh? Remember?”

“Meatball,” Gale says, barely audible.

“Fuckin’ Meatball. Got into the pantry and brought a whole bag of flour down on him. He looked ghostly, I’ll give ya that-”

John is cut off when Gale screams. He has never heard a sound like it from another human being.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Superstar. it’s literally me and elo’s prestige show. other than that this must be the place bc i love to see austin in pain

[madamlaydebug]

{Unhindered Movement}

We truly want to succeed but may be afraid so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck.

When you find yourself facing obstacles that appear to be blocking you from your goals, it is important to try not to get discouraged. It can be easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating circumstances preventing you from getting what you want. And while it is easy to look at everyone and everything outside of ourselves for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of the person, object, or circumstance we may feel is blocking us, sometimes the best course of action to take may be to look inside ourselves first.

It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results.

If you believe that you’ve been standing in your own way, you may want to take a piece of paper and record how you’ve done so. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle and compassionate during this process. Try not to blame yourself for getting in your own way. Remember the choices we make always are there to serve us, until it is time to let them go. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. You can then let yourself start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succ! eed can now do so.

[spikedsoul]

maid's worst nightmare - ch 40

i'm trying not to take ages between chapters anymore! still haven't seen the movie due to life circumstances but i'm really hopin to see it soon... anyway. here!

previous chapters

@sovereign-of-succ

Bowser’s mind was still reeling even as he held you against him and let his chin rest on your shoulder. He almost wasn’t sure what to do with all of the trust you were giving him. Ordinarily, the first thing he would do would be to accidentally self sabotage, but those days were supposed to be over. He had to actively, consciously try to show you he wanted to keep you around. He loved you, damn it, and he knew if he lost you, he’d probably snap.

Surely he could keep himself together? Surely if he did slip up, you wouldn’t immediately break things off and go running back to the safety of Peach’s castle?

Fuck, these thoughts were unwanted right now.

“So,” he rumbled, shifting his head so that his lips were against your soft skin, “how are you likin’ the race so far?” Dumb. Dumb question. Stupid, horrible question.

“Honestly, it’s a lot more exciting than I imagined! I thought it would just be like regular racing, no items or anything,” you giggled softly. “It does make me a little anxious, but I’m trying to remember the kids aren’t getting hurt.”

Bowser’s eyes closed for a moment as he let that statement sink in; hardly a week in, and you were so loving and accepting to him and his kids. No wonder his doting adoptive father was already asking for another grandkid. But that was definitely going too quickly, even if the physical attraction ended up winning out just earlier.

He placed a few gentle kisses against your neck, another rumble slipping out. You tilted your head to the side slightly, allowing him more room - and he absolutely took the advantage to place more kisses.

The shiver that shook your shoulders had him nipping the shell of your ear.

“Bowser, please,” you breathed, goosebumps rising over your skin. “We’re supposed to be watching your kids…”

Bowser chuffed against you as his eye flicked to the screen. By now, Junior and Morton had pulled a fair way ahead of Ludwig, with Junior still in the lead. He wasn’t surprised to see his youngest using the favorite method of serpentining in front of Morton to keep him from being able to pull ahead. He could see from the camera angles that the straggling Ludwig had a wicked smile on his face - the kind of smile that suggested he was about to unleash the best item they had.

No doubt you’d be highly alarmed, so in preparation, the king tightened his hold on you. No sooner had he done that than Ludwig released the blue shell.

You immediately tensed up as the homing missile shot toward the two younger koopas. Although he did feel slightly guilty about it, he didn’t remind you that they’d be okay; he rather liked watching you squirm in concern for his kids’ safety.

He wasn’t so cruel as to ignore you when the inevitable happened, though.

The blue shell struck Junior (and Morton by proxy), exploding with a powerful force. You cried out in surprise at the violent nature of it, struggling a little in his lap to try and get up, but he held you fast to his chest.

“Easy, baby, easy,” he rumbled, “look, they okay. See? Just a setback. Kids are fine.”

Sure enough, like Ludwig had been flipped by the shell earlier, the apparent explosion and all that smoke cleared to reveal Junior and Morton looking just fine, if a little discombobulated. Ludwig had pulled ahead, of course, since he’d been far enough away not to get caught in the explosion, and the two younger boys slowly got back into it as their visions cleared.

“Fuck,” you breathed in relief, physically relaxing against him as he was proven right. The kids were perfectly fine. After a moment of watching the two younger boys struggle to catch up again, you shifted to shoot him a little glare. “You couldn’t have warned me?” Well, he couldn’t just up and admit he wanted to see that endearing concern over his kids, now could he? But he also didn’t want to make a habit of lying to her like he was about to.

“I guess I’m so used to it I didn’t think about it… sorry, sweetheart. Anythin’ that happens on these tracks may look scary, but it’s not actually dangerous. If it was I wouldn’t be lettin’ my kids race.” Bowser placed a few featherlight kisses to your face in apology.

You eyed him a little suspiciously, but sighed, gently stroking his muzzle. “Alright… alright. Is that the worst of it? Anything else I should be warned about?” you mumbled.

He couldn’t help a little grin as he shrugged at your question.

“Technically? Yeah. That’s the most powerful item there is in a race, so anythin’ else you see ain’t gonna be nearly as bad,” he did his best to soothe. When you didn’t seem entirely convinced, he rumbled deeply, hugging you close.

You sighed heavily but ultimately let your shoulders slump. “If I didn’t know better, I’d suggest you purposefully let me get a little riled up, since you know I haven’t witnessed a race before,” you murmured.

Bowser grinned a little; you were pretty sharp.

“Now, why I’d go and do that, sweetheart?” He did his best to sound as innocent as he could, but neither he, nor you, ultimately bought it, based on your little smirk.

“Because you’re kind of a dick.”

His jaw fell open in shock. It was true, yes, but this was the first time anyone had come and outright said it to his face like that… and it was you, of all people, the sweet little maid who was routinely proving to be much bolder than anyone could’ve guessed. He should’ve been irritated, mad, something, but he wasn’t.

That insult paired with that cheeky grin you were now giving him was making his heart race.

He was a king, he was a giant koopa, he could breathe fire and annihilate you, and yet you continued to show him how you were being honest about being comfortable with you. You were a fucking handmaid, treating a king like he was your equal… and his heart was growing impossibly fonder for it.

“You okay, big guy?” Your voice forced him to blink a few times and tune back into the moment.

His mouth flapped uselessly for a moment before he dumbly asked, “Did you just insult me?”

You giggled softly, a sweet sound despite those undertones of anxiety he could detect, and tucked your head against him as you settled to watch the end of the second lap. So far, it was still a close race; items would probably make all the difference.

“I sure did,” you sighed, your smile evident in your voice. You even gently patted his tummy. “Out of affection… obviously it didn’t upset you too much, though. ….Right?”

That last word was spoken so quietly he almost didn’t hear it, but it shot a painful arrow straight through his heart as he suddenly remembered all the trauma you’d suffered before finding him. You were comfortable, yeah, but it didn’t mean it was without that hidden baggage, and he’d have to remember that.

“Right. Right, baby girl, I ain’t upset.” He took hold of your hand and kissed your knuckles gently.

You nodded, rubbing his tummy gently; that anxiety scent faded quickly. “Okay, good. If I thought it would really offend you, I wouldn’t have said it…”

He smirked. “Actually, I got caught up thinkin’ how attractive it was. Don’t think I ever had someone insult me to my face before, not since I became a king…” You gasped, and pulled your hand back to inevitably hide your face even though he couldn’t even see it. He laughed, gently rubbing his chin on the top of your head to help ease your embarrassment. “Easy, sweetheart. I love that you forgot. Now, we got a final lap to watch, huh?”

Morton was now currently in the lead, but Ludwig and Junior were just barely behind him as the third lap got started.

Bowser grinned as he felt you nod after a moment, but you didn’t say anything else, and he didn’t push it.

[maochira]

Imagine the younger sibling of y/n not being able to go to sleep at a sleepover at y/n's house and they ask Kenyu to sing them smth when he went to check up on them

then he sings them the acoustic version of overdose (idk its just rlly satisfying to hear), younger sibling goes to sleep and while all of this was happening, y/n was at the door watching all of it happen

hope u've been having a good week/day :>

THIS IS SO CUTE HELP.............

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: gn!reader x Yukimiya, established relationship

-your parents are gone for the weekend and it's your task to take care of your little sibling. You've done that a couple times so it's not big deal for you

-Yukimiya insisted on staying with you for this weekend so he can help you with everything. And your lil sibling loves him, so you knew you'd get a lot of cute moments out of this

-usually, your lil sibling isn't hard to take care of. But they're currently going through one of those phases when they refuse to go to sleep because they're too stubborn for it. Also knowing Yukimiya is staying with you makes them want to stay awake to play with him. It's so cute, but it's already late and way past their bedtime

-you try for around an hour to get them to sleep, but with no succes. You end up frustrated and have to take a step back and leave the room for a moment, so you ask Yukimiya to help you because you're running out of ideas how to get your sibling to rest

-Yukimiya doesn't really know what to do but he feels so bad because he sees how exhausted you are. The first thing that pops into his mind is singing a song to the little one

-he carefully sits down on the edge of your sibling's bed and strokes their hair while he sings this song

-seeing him like this makes you so so happy and fall in love with him even more than you already are. Just the way he's so soft and gentle with you lil sibling makes your heart beat faster and everything inside of you feel warm

-he finally manages to get the little one to sleep. By now you're very exhausted as well, so you're extremely thankful for his help

-Yukimiya makes you go to bed with him because he wants you to get rest as well. While you lie in his arms he softly hums and sings the same song to you until he's sure you fell asleep

[swanmaids]

fic writer questions - thanks for the tags, @grey-gazania @curufiin and @thelordofgifs! Sorry that it took so long.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 51, though one is a compilation of unrelated short pieces.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 89,680

3. What fandoms do you write for? At present just Silm and Lotr, but I'm hoping to participate in Yuletide this year and thinking about The Handmaiden, Hustlers, Swan Lake, and The Wolf Den as potential fandoms to offer

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

spirited away (outsider pov legolas/gimli)

post mortem (clinical/epistolary post-second kinslaying)

it takes a village (5+1 SoF and celebrimbor)

the straight road (epistolary legolas/gimli)

the stones wept (orpheus and eurydice au legolas/gimli)

It seems like my most popular pieces are L/G or sons of Feanor. And they ARE fun to write about, so I'm not complaining!

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. But sometimes it takes an embarrasingly long time. Because I suck.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? haven (everyone dies) sister sister (everyone dies) if our deed faileth (everyone dies) woe unto worlds end (everyone dies)

Sensing a theme.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? coastin' (Elwing gets her pussy ate by her sexy husband and has an orgasm)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Lol I'm not relevant enough for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes lol. I'm not sure what's meant by "what kind", but I've done F/F, M/M, F/M, F/M/M, M/F/F/F/F and a fairly big variety of kinks so like... most kinds?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, and I'm not a huge reader of them, although I long for a Silm/Succ crossover

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! The lovely @camille-lachenille translated see it fall, child of war into French. You can read it here.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. I write very slowly and erratically, which I don't think would be fair to any potential cowriter.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Legolas/Gimli is a long term otp and one couple where I really can't see either side with anyone else (if they want to invite Aragorn or Eomer to join for a night I'm not opposed). Elwing and Earendil is another couple that I feel the same about (and I'm also defensive of them as a couple and genuinely see them as an example of some of Tolkien's most romantic writing). I also really like Celegorm/Orome for being basically perfect for my id.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Eeeh. I'm really trying not to officially throw in the towel on any of my wips. It's just taking me a long time...

16. What are your writing strengths? Can I say smut? I think I'm quite good at setting, food, and clothing descriptions too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Any plot that's more complicated than "emotion in space" or "dick in hole". Also actually DOING the writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I used to do it much more than I currently do. Now I feel like it breaks the flow of the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for? LOTR.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I've said it before but I was really pleased with how one of your girls came out and have reread it a couple of times since publishing. Actually I think I got some writers block after publishing it because I feel like I can't surpass it lol.

This was fun to do! I'm very late to the party so I think most people have been tagged, but if anyone else wants to do it then please go ahead and say I tagged you.

[halt-kun]

Hunter x Hunter Chapter 408 - Negotiations (2)

Are we going to finish the parent-child game this chapter ? Most likely. Will it be stopped by the troupe ? I don't think yet

GUNGI FLASHBACK

STOP IT TOGASHI

I would have done the same hahahah

HAHAHAHA

nice going, ignoring Morena

No surprise here, nobody acknowledges her questions

Spill the tea Morena, what's your purpose (killing everyone)

WE KNEW THAT

also Borksen is smart we know that

they judge using not words but demeanor and expressions and other tells

sooo fun

FIRE REVELATION

with a bland face too

so not from the royal family, not fit to lead a mafia

and I guess, her parent got killed during a festival because they looked funny at someone

So, they're all festival children

and as "meat" I guess we're talking about prostitution (even worse considering her age)

Are they all bastards then ?

Borksen really picked up on something, did Tse do something awful ?

That would not be surprising

OKAY WHICH CARD

WAIT, Morena is not asking anything ? Did I misunderstand the game ????

will just the final card count for Borksen ?

THE power card would also be my choice

MORENA ??? BLUSHING ????

This did feel like a date before, buit it's getting worse

ignore the bodyguards tho

Yes it's a nice summary Borksen

I always love when smart character learn about nen

To be honest, I assume I would be a conjurer and most likely would end up wanting a symbiotic and parasitic ability (of course, it depends if it would be for me irl or as a hxh character). But using other to develop nen and account for how their personality would affect the development of an ability and sharing nen with other always seemed nice to me. I wanted that and wrote something down before the succ war was out and we learnt about all these new types of category.

MY HATSU IS COMMUNISM

SMART Morena

really hinting that you must want to kill to awaken your abilities

Borksen will pick up on that quick

and it's also a nice way to sell yourself Morena

Yes Morena is a smart manipulator

and is Borksen the one thinking that ? Or is she just thinking that once Kakin is destroyed, "children" goals won't matter to them ?

Or is she just saying she doesn't care about Kakin as long as she fullfills her goal ?

BORKSEN FOR THE WIN

PLEASE TOGASHI

let all the smart women make it out of there thanks to their brain

Theta and Borksen first

also, I agree with Borksen

actually comitting murder is way out of what everyone wants, just a tranquil life without making too much waves is fine

and just be happy

think about the great thinker and dictator Diego : "life is complete with the sun, land and poetry".

I really hate specialists being "very rare"

but anyway

Borksen rules

She's a smart woman and she's going to go places

OH FUCK

I'll theory craft for ages with this

this also means that there is about 3 to 4 specialists in my 11000 inhabitants hometown

and about 50 in my current one

indeed it's not much

Enhancers are the most common with a bit above 1/4 people

then emitters with a bit less

Transmutation is 1 in 5

and Conjuration and Manipulation are 1/7

Most people on the usual quizzes end up with manipulation, conjuration or specialization

it's fun seeing how Hisoka's personality is a bit fucked, of course he must have nuances about it.

Also we did learn from the exhibit that people aren't always purely from one category

this is fun

Nice way to say : "we'll kill you where you stand if you don't come with us"

NICE BORKSEN

very nice

give me ideas Morena

because specialization is the most annoying one

like finding something not already covered by the other 5.

And Dogman met Chrollo, funnily enough, the troupe could team up with the Heil-yi

and Chrollo is bound to have an ability they seek

but also, it's a bad idea to go around and announce people you know their nen type

I HATE THAT

it means, they aren't bound by traditional limitations

and does it mean emperor time is just average specialist power ?????

that's dumb

like EMPEROR TIME

It would be fine if it just meant, most specialist have just a unique skillset. Like some are better at enhancement, others at transmutation and manipulation

Yes Morena, kinda like the seen urn

but parasitic nen also feeds on aura from different categories so it's different

but indeed, Morena grants an ability to her members in a sense, it's not "them" that awaken it through "skills" developed

YESSSS ?????

WE KILL YOU

is what hapopens next

also Borksen is so smart, everyone wants her to join their little killing gang

YES it's a trap where they kill you if you don't say yess

HIGH RISK? BIG NEN REWARDS MY GIRL

PLEASE TOGASHI MAKE BORKSEN A BEAST AND THEN MAKE HER DEFEAT TSE WITH THETA AND KURAPIKA

and everyone is happy and fine and this always how HxH was and nothing bad ever happened

YES INDEED

HAHAHAHA

well next week Borksen survived and joins the Heil-yi before the soldiers find them I guess

when will the troupe find them tho ???

Very fun chapter

I love when women just chat about potentially dying but it's actually a death game and they're just smartly strategizing to trap the other one

TWO WEEKS LEFT

untill the usual next hiatus

UNLESS ?????

[safetyobstacles]

I finished osnf after almost 2 months and

You know that feeling when you finish a piece of media you really enjoyed, whether it be a show or game or book. And now its over and you can never go back and experience it for the first time again.

That's how I feel :,)

I made a post while I watched the whole thing, it's like if I liveblogged but I stuffed it all into one very long post. So it's kind of all over the place. But if you went through the episode you could pinpoint exactly when i added to it lol

spoilers under here

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/733757650447335424/starting-o-segredo-na-floresta-now-im-either?source=share

thats the link to the post, its also just pinned to my blog until i start desconjuração

i would like to thank anyone who read my update post before i finished watching. and when they saw on EPISODE ONE that i was saying "dont take Thiago from me :,)". and nobody spoiled. that Thiago. dies.

:((((((((((((((((((((

also i got an irl friend of mine into ordem, she's watched the whole first series and is almost done with episode 2 of osnf. and her favourite character is Cris :) funny enough she recognized Rakin from league of legends but not anybody else

the fight against the deus da morte. SO COOL. THE CUTSCENE. bro the little buildup to the cutscene with the goo tentacles covering the screen. and the music. THE MUSIC. and then he went and hugged liz. and now she is old. and now she has no thiago. but at least she still has Gonzales' dog. probably.

the way Santo Berço died btw. ow. ouch. the imagery is gonna stick with me for a while. Cibele. he really did in Cibele like that. damn bro.

special shoutout to the Succ. rpg wouldnt be the same without it. and Felps for blindsiding me and then dying like 3 hours later.

also kinda crazy that cellbit can just keep pulling these random npc's out of his ass and making me care about them.

speaking of npc's, all of the Vulture's deaths were fucked but Murilo's made me extra sad idk why. his buddy bit him :(

i think my favourite scene outside of the liz, thiago, joui scene in the last episode, was the bit after they killed the big slug in the asylum. idk the pacing of it was just really cool to me, the drawing in the sludge and losing sanity without realizing. for me it set up this feeling of "you cant trust anything you dont know for certain about" for the entire rest of osnf.

that fucking house btw. i wanted them to leave that house the moment they got gregorio out of that room. i hate that house. i would like for that house to explode.

i want to put Arthur in a shoebox for safe keeping so that he may never get hurt again. Cesar too. Joui as well. and Liz.

ill probably take a week or two to mourn finishing this series before moving onto Desconjuração. which is a very fun word to type. probably will make another post like i did this time to put all my updates in as i watch it.

thanks ordem paranormal for injecting into my braincells i dont think ill ever be over you

dude im so sad about thiago you have no idea

[wikaliyag]

hi, so i've become a tomgreg enthusiast just before the fourth season aired (i basically devoured the whole three seasons of succ in four days lmao). i don't really engage in social media and fandoms anymore but i would like to share my thoughts on the tomgreg relationship and the final season itself.

i would like to start with the fact that i was actually really surprised how explicit their relationship was in the first three seasons (in a way it still really is, but we'll get to that), since from what i knew about the show it was supposed to be something perfect for your 'normal' media consumer out there, just some business stuff, so with that logic i assumed it will be as heterosexual as it can get to not offend anyone (i mean homophobes). but the second tom and greg were together on the screen my brain materialised the 'i know what you are' dog meme and i loved it. it didn't feel superficial, it was something different, fresh and ugly and toxic and just real. seeing these two just be horrible to everyone (including each other) made sense and then seeing them finally lower their gourds down and care for only each other also made sense. so my main point is that it made a lot of sense for them to go with the dynamic and to just make it the way it is. i believe wholeheartedly that it is a genuine representation that i so desperately wanted, since i'm so done with all that 'gay ppl can't be horrible pieces of shit and have to be unnaturally perfect and good'. 

it isn’t as explicit as other queer relationships in media but that’s kinda what makes them so unique and fun to watch. they don’t have to kiss or to say ‘i love you’, cause we already have that confirmation through how they act towards each other. from ‘would you kiss me?’ first interaction to the ‘i will take care of you’ declaration, like he really didn’t have to do it, i believe he might have just been lonely in the roy kingdom and greg was the same, not in the inner circle but still a part of the family. that was the reason why he was so attracted to greg from the beginning. the nero and sporus speech, when tom decides to pour his whole heart into that speech and greg just responds with nothing, so tom awkwardly drops his smile, cause he thinks that he might be the only one that feels that way. (it was so fun to me cause for some reason i love to see tom suffer, idk why don’t ask me). but then greg immediately asks if tom is okay, cause he does care about tom and maybe he is just super oblivious to tom’s feelings at that point. in the fourth season greg allows tom to throw him under the bus during social interactions just for him to look better. he also is okay with tom treating him like shit throughout the whole show, even though he could have just leave him and try to suck up to his family more (as we can see in this season it is actually possible for greg to somehow have a working relationship with his cousins). i could give you so many more examples but we all get the point. it is not sexually explicit and it doesn’t have to, queer relationships are not only about sex or physical intimacy in general (though we still get all that patting on the back, stomach, shoulders ect., even all that whatever it was in the first ep from greg), it’s the emotional connection too. and we did get that. 

if it comes to the fourth season, i must admit that i agree with a lot of criticism. the characters feel really off to me. and i will focus on greg for a bit. this season he is suddenly gross and says stupid things, like he is a total imbecile that can’t think for himself (like i get it, he was always a little dumb dumb and ofc he can say gross things, it’s just that these are his only character trades right now, that’s the problem). he is definitely not qualified enough to be in a position that he is now but the greg from the second or third season would at least try to pinch some of his own ideas (even tho they are shitty) or maybe try to give his honest opinion on something, now he just goes ‘yeah it’s dope man’ and moves on. if it comes to tom i would say he is handled quite well, it might be because macfadyen is an absolute acting genius, but him being a total flop and trying so desperately to be on a good page with all the people that he betrayed makes sense. he is scared he is soon going to lose everything and it makes him do everything in his power to not let that happen, he is a total mess emotionally (and we love to see it). that includes coming back to shiv. even though he stood up for himself and i really wish he could just leave her and finally be happy alone, he has to be the a good and obedient husband once again, that’s his only way of saving himself. he says that he loves shiv for the money but i think there is also an actual unconditional love there, it’s just not a thing that she will understand, so he must speak in another language - a love for money and power. she then gets it and lets him in. but then you can see in a way that tom looks at her, that there is something more to it than the prestige of being married to a roy. 

and now the tomgreg relationship. we don’t see many scenes of them and yes it hurts a bit, since you wait a whole ass week for an episode and you don’t get much of their interactions but i saw someone saying that ‘they don’t need to show us tom and greg plotting together, cause we already know that. they focus on the dynamics of the relationships that are currently changing and tomgreg is as solid as a rock’ (obviously paraphrasing that one). i so agree with that, we don’t have to see them to know, it would be amazing to get more confirmation and just to see them both be all giggly middle aged men together but we already know where we stand. they have the deal, they work together behind the scenes, i bet that is exactly why in the sixth episode they went to an empty room, so that they can update each other on their secrety and confidential stuff. and why is greg gregging for ken and tom is suffocating himself in a toxic relationship with shiv? it’s simple, because it’s their plan to do so. they hope that at least one of the relationships will stick and save them from their doom. they will jump ships to whoever will be willing to not throw them away. this way it makes sense for us not to see them all that often together because we see them executing their plan, separately on camera but actually together. i hope that this will be addressed in the last four eps, it would be actually kinda fun to see maybe one of them or even both of them betray each other for their new friends/lovers to just be betrayed themselves and end up together anyway. it's what they deserve.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Rammstein really have the most perfect sibling behaviour.

Till. The eldest child. Reliable, responsible, knows everything that's useful, talented. A model child. But just like every model child, has a side that no one expects him to have, and it is FREAKY.

Paul. Parents pride and joy, and he knows it, and he will let you know about it. Knows little about a lot and a lot about little. Trivia genius. Knows his worth and will fight for it.

Schneider. The parent. He will get you food and first air. He will tell you off and after will give you money to go to a party. Absolute legend amongst little kids.

Flake. The nerd in every movie. As a kid, used to carry bottle caps and worms in his pockets. Loyal to the very end. Will lie for you and then grumble about it for the next 4 days. Whatever is happening, he will be there.

Richard. The rebel. The cliche middle child. Always yearning for more. Forms deep attachments to things and people. Will knock teeth out if necessary. Leaves the basement every 5 to 6 days.

Oliver. The youngest child. Often gets forgotten because he's also the quietest one. Will provide you with fire crackers. Adaptable like a dog. The only one who never got told off.

Thought about if they could be any other age order than they are irl, but funny enough i don't think that would work 😊

as i see it (and pretty similar to anon i think)

Till: the first-born, expected to be everyone's pride and joy, but becauss pretty soon nr 2 came (see following) he took the opportunity to try everything first and shock the parents several times, but gets away with everything because he sets the standards (or rather, the standards change for him 😊). All the younger brothers look up to him, because he comes up with the best pranks, and sneaks them in movie theaters or bars with him. Also, 'the Jock', so whenever a younger brother needs to be put in his place, he'll do it.

Paul: 2nd born, but as soon as he could walk and talk, he asserted himself as the one in charge. He rules the roost, and decides what they do when they are out together. Nobody messes with him, or tries to prank him, except the older brother who is the only one not bothered by being nagged.

Schneider: the 3rd, a nice kid, but not as quick as his older brothers to spot a joke or an opportunity, so is often the butt of everyone's pranks, which he doesn't mind that much, because he often thinks the pranks are funny anyway. Also, the reliable one; the one they all call if they need a ride, have a hangover, or lost their pants and don't want to come home in their underpants, because he'll fix it before the parents find out.

Flake: the 4rd, and with 3 rowdy older brothers, pretty much goes his own way. Secretly a favorite of the parents, because he's *not* a handfull. The three older ones are sometimes a bit confused about this quiet brother, but they won't let anyone say anything bad about him (they are the only ones allowed to do that).

Richard: the 5th, for a few years the youngest, and he enjoyed that, but when another brother came around after, he lost his 'niche' in the family, and struggles to find his spot. He wants to be the prankster (but without succes as all the pranks have been done already by his older brothers), wants to be cool (but has no chance with the older brothers being there to put him in his place). Forever searching.

Olli: the youngest, and purely by chance the easiest child of all of them (to the relief of the parents), so everyone dotes on him. Gets taken to parties and hang-outs with much older people by his brothefs, but doesn't let that get to his head and can handle it better then they can.

[dearweirdme]

I thought Tae is the most popular member until his solo releases. He literally has the richest fanbases. They always pull the most expensive birthday projects for him. Tae also has the most liked photos on ig, most followers, most streamed fancams, etc., but i guess most of his stans are just there for the visuals. I thought he could easily accumulate huge streams, but despite the excuse of only being able to prepare for 2 days, I thought he could’ve done better. I’m a Tae stan and I’ve been streaming nonstop since the release of his first song, so I wonder where are his others stans are. He couldn’t even stay at number 1 on US itunes. His fanbases have been saving up since years ago, but I guess there are just no demands. His album and songs have been one of the most anticipated, and though they’re not gp-friendly, with his fanbase, I’m surprised he did not pull such huge numbers. It’s so disappointing to say the least. I want him to achieve great numbers, too. 🥺 I read a blog post earlier that his dating rumor has affected him especially in SK. His Kfans are not interested in him anymore. I dunno. It’s just so disheartening coz he prepared so much for this. 😣

Hi anon!

Quality above quantity.

What I don’t really understand is that in the time leading up towards Tae releasing music there has been so much talk about his music probably not being mainstream and that it will show in his numbers. People expected that, and now that it’s here people are talking about him as if he’s failing somehow. I really hope Tae does not see these conversations or that he tunes them out, because I think those things will hurt him. It ties his succes to sales, while the actual appreciation of fans is in how they react to the actual content. And from what I’ve seen is that it’s being received great.

I also think people don’t actually understand that these songs are (imo) not intended to reach huge numbers. They came out too close to each other for that, and the promo is also not been like that. I feel this period is to set the mood. I know it’s new and people aren’t used to it, but I really wish they would show excitement in stead of making this situation negative.

[slutneto]

Bfmfjfnfj for REAL like. I think part of it is bc Shiv took a really huge blow with Logan's death so everyone's like how can Tom be an asshole now of all times. But here's the thing. Her dad dying doesn't erase the shit she put Tom through, which is more than just cheating on him (already horrible), and it irks me so much that they downplay Shiv's abuse towards him. Like yes he's an asshole and selfish, but you don't need to pretend like Shiv has done nothing wrong to justify your anger. Like. Shiv's abuse is so layered and constant especially during the first season, practically every scene between the two she's dismissive and mocking with him. And it's not like we're saying Tom isn't equally fucked up in how he behaves with her especially in how he's so pushy about getting her pregnant. And that's the thing, they're both horrible towards each other and we don't need to water these characters down to Victim Woman and Evil Man to enjoy them. Please stop!!!! Also I feel like people jump to Shiv's defense over made up arguments from made up people??? At least here on tumblr I've never seen the "tomgregs who hate Shiv" everyone's always whining about. At most I see posts saying she's not perfect and then people complaining about sexism in fandom LOL. Also also, last ep with the ear flick scene made a lot of people uncomfortable and rightfully so imo, it was meant to, but the virtue signaling is getting a bit too much gjmdjdk and equating an ear flick with domestic violence is a BIT fucked up in my opinion.

In any case I hope the writers aren't planning on escalating this and that it was meant to read as Tom just reacting to Shiv not backing off, bc if they take the Tom-Logan parallels to the extreme I might have to check out lol. I'm scared bc they have shown us Tom's violent side with Greg, and with the dynamics shifting... Idk.

This is going to get me cancelled for sure but fuck it, right?

I like Shiv, but only when she is without Tom? They are just fucking terrible with each other. Shiv uses her sexuality as a weapon, or perhaps a tool to hurt Tom. Perpetually. With cheating, with the open marriage, and trying tom to participate in it, etc., in early season one and late season three by hurting him during sex the first physically, the other mentally. I don’t think it as refreshing and ground-breaking or even entertaining as some fans, but hey, to each their own, tomgreg also has mental and physical abuse in there, to some extent.

I don’t want to defend Tom in anyway, because you are right, he is no saint, but we talk used (before season 4) talk about the pyramid of abuse in succ, where Logan’s abuse of his children was getting passed on to other people via his children, and just how fucked up that was, and how this needs to change, why are we suddenly so against Tom calling Shiv out on her insecurities and pointing out he has been hurt by Shiv? It’s true? Yes, she has just lost her father, but you are right, their issues started way before that.

To me, the ear flick was did not equal to domestic abuse but stayed on the same level of childishness as Shiv relentlessly trying to step on his shoes because she was feeling bad for herself. Tom deciding to take direct action against the source instead of this usual move of weathering through abuse and then taking it out on Greg in most insane ways imaginable is, at least to me, quite interesting. We don’t talk about it and what it might mean enough.

The fandom seeing any critique directed at a female character and saying it borders on fans being sexist is nothing new, but it is worrying here, where, textually, the point of this character is to be flawed and fucked up? We joke about them all being our poor little meow meows but surely critical thinking has not been lost along the way? The whole point of this show is to question how much of the kid’s actions can be blamed on Logan, and how much of it is the kid’s fault. If we decided everything is Logan’s fault, then the kids are nothing but his reflections, his agency in the world, with no autonomy, all of their actions can be traced back to Logan.

I am not sure I enjoy this season at all, which is super odd, because we are now halfway done? The writers did say we will get to find out if tomshiv were ever anything real in the second art of the season, which is good because my POV on this changes daily. Yeah, Tom used his relationship with Shiv to breeze through the ranks, but he also seemed genuinely in love and therefore hurt by Shiv’s actions too? Yes, Shiv has been historically abusive, cold, and dismissive, but she seems to care about Tom from time to time. But is it enough? Idk.

[allsystemsarenotgo]

What is the measurement of success and failure?

Friday night, I watched a dear friend graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering and dual minors in Maths and Computer Science in four years.

Something I long dreamed of doing in high school. I wanted to go into Mechanical Engineering. That's what my grandfather had done and partial of what my father did.

But when I got to college, despite being an A/B student in high school, I was woefully unprepared. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't academically pass even the basic classes.

There was a point in my second semester of freshman year that I locked myself in my dorm room for a solid week, just stuck in a very deep depression. My peer counselor had to use her master key to do a welfare check on me, and take me to the on-campus counseling center.

And it got bad enough after four semesters that my GPA hit a point that I had to change majors. So I changed from mechanical to computer science. I passed the basic classes there without issue - and one of them I was told to shut up and stop answering questions because I already knew the material but had to take the class just to have the credit on my transcript. I even had no issues with the couple of 3,000 and 4000 level courses I took in the program, but then ran into hurdles in the later classes. But there was just one specific professor that did not like me, I'm not even sure he liked anybody, and just really tried to make my life miserable. Two semesters I took his class trying to get a passing credit and failed to do so; I took the class as a condensed summer with a different professor and got through it with no problem and a high B. But the damage had been done.

I was expulsed from the engineering department as a whole after my 8th semester on campus (10 semesters counting two summers).

I ended up graduating with a bachelor's in University Studies after another 6 semesters (4 full and 2 summer). Where I went, it was basically their fast track program to get out of the college, allowing me to count three minors worth of accreditation towards a generic bachelor's. Considering I had accrued enough hours that would otherwise count for a master's degree, it was all the more depressing too have a generic bachelor's that wouldn't really mean much in life.

Does that mean I was an academic failure?

I've never been much of a social bug, but many of the friends that I made over those 6 years for the only friends I had in life. The only social life I knew was the one with other students.

It wasn't much longer than a year after I graduated that I no longer had most of those friends, and in subsequent years that number dropped more and more.

These days I only have one friend I still talk to from college, but we haven't gotten together in a few years. He is a high level executive at a firearms company now while raising two daughters on his own after their mother relinquished her rights.

My social bubble has only minutely increased since then. The title of "Best Friend" has bounced from person to person as they painfully came and went. My social bubble at this point only consists of the girlfriend on a weekendly basis and K and D (whom I just saw last week for the first time in months but text daily).

I text J and M at least once a week, sometimes daily. But I just saw J for the first time in at least a year as she walked for college graduation, and I have only seen M once (last year) in the last decade.

But outside of Facebook, that's my social/conversation bubble.

Does that mean I am a social failure?

I've never held a "good" job; I'm always lived more or less paycheck to paycheck. The "extra" things I've accrued in life have generally been purchased with my savings account of my mum's inheritance. I've spent 75% of what I inherited in the few years since she passed; granted a chunk of that was eliminating my student loans.

Does that mean I am an employment and/or financial failure?

What is the measurement in success and failure? I feel like so much of a failure when I am surrounded by "more" successful people.

I feel like there are some things, like my friend's graduation, where I had small contributions and share a bit in the success-by-proxy. Is that wrong?

It's hard not to be mad at myself about things of the past. When it comes to "What would you tell a younger self?"... So many things.

Reflecting back on the progression of J and our friendship, it just doesn't make me feel good about myself. During the ceremony, a student spoke about how she is a first generation college student/graduate from an immigrant family, and all the effort that was required for success.

Seeing people go and do and complete the things that I wished I could do but didn't...it hurts the self-esteem.

There are so many things I wish I could time travel and fix so that I could be a better me.

But I can't. I'm just another random bloke with a meaningless degree that can't get any jobs that my knowledge could otherwise maybe get me into...or that I could have gotten myself if I would have been better at university.

Yay for those that can apply themselves and be successful.

Depression for those that have failed in life.

🙋‍♂️

[pictopye]

Figure Fridays #2

TLDR: First selection of figures picked by friends & family; Haslin 1:10 scale progress check-in; Figure #1 Last Alliance Elven Archer WIP; Failed on taking enough WIP Progress shots - will improve! Start on 1:10 Astarion figure. LONG (Rambley) Version: It's #Figure Friday - so here's a breakdown update as to where things are at from last week!

Last Friday: I asked friends & family on Facebook to pick some numbers/roll some dice for me to blind grab some miniatures from my craft-box to work on.

The current list is: 01. Last Alliance Elven Archer - LOTR 02. Glorfindel Lord of the West/House of the Golden Flower - LOTR/SIL 03. Gimli son of Gloin - LOTR 04. Strong - Fallout 3 05. Gondorian Warrior - LOTR 06. Pippin - LOTR 07. Nazgul #1 - LOTR 08. Cooper Howard/The Ghoul - Fallout (TV) 09. CX404/Dogmeat - Fallout (TV) 10. Ori - The Hobbit 11. Elrond with Mount - The Hobbit/LOTR

(Once I've worked my way through this list I plan to do another blind draw selection from folks who choose to participate!)

I then double-checked my clean-up on the first line up of models - ensuring sprue bits were removed, all mold-lines well sanded/scraped off, and prepped figures for priming.

The weather was alright (though a monsoon storm was on the way!) I lined my first seven up for priming on a paint stick with some tack. I used Vallejo black primer to base-coat everything. I had some gusts come up and get me when I was trying my best with the white Vallejo primer for a Zenithal highlight stage. I still need to work on perfecting how much flow medium to primer I need to use as well as usage technique to reduce speckles; but over all I was pleased with my 2nd use of an airbrush!

(I had primed my 2x 1:10 scale figures a few weeks prior but hadn't started documentation at that point. It had felt pretty easy - but I can tell more technique practice is needed to really 'get good'.)

I then proceeded to absolutely get sucked-into 'the zone' and by the time I realized I hadn't taken any WIP/progress photos I had done the base coat, some mid layers, and started detailing....

Suffice to say it was a facepalm meets a forehead slap moment; and hopefully will be a lesson learned, and retained! I also had prepped a small base for the figure with some muddy ground terrain mix, sand & gravel from my yard, and a small tuft of grass. I primed it all with black, and added some mid-tones to bring up some of the details. I then affixed Figure #1, and started detailing/blending the figure with the base. Which is where we're currently left off on - since the paint needs time to dry.

Other WIPS: (mostly prior to the establishing of Facepalm #Figure Fridays) I had been working on my 1:10 scale 3D printed Halsin from Baldur's Gate 3. I realized (belatedly) that I should have been snapping progress pics as I went along - but it's how I even came to the idea of starting up doing #Figure Fridays, so now you (and I) know that even continued 'oops' moments can have good results! I already had assembled, cleaned up, added to, primed, and base-coated him by the time I really had that thought. I have been working on his face details, and good gods nailing the hair color down has been a PITA! It's warmer than your standard medium brown but not as warm as auburn/reds; lovely for sure, but it's been a challenge to replicate. The clothing/leather/armor though has been a pretty easy-breezy painting experience though, so that's been really nice! I started him with an undertone painting of mixed greens - which really has lent well to the figure remaining cohesive as I work along.

And the last WIP update: After having gotten so far on Figure #1 I had wanted to use up what was on my pallet so it wouldn't go to waste. The colors currently left over were not ones usable on Halsin due to their cool-tone nature; So I started applying an undertone wash of blues, purples, and violets on my 1:10 scale figure of Astarion - also from Baldur's Gate 3. To replicate the success I was having on Halsin with his warm-green undertones. I did manage to catch myself before I completely doused Astarion - to show that yup I had used a Zenithal primer. XD Progress lol!