#but really it's apathetic
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#i feel like i'm starting to slowly be attracted to myself again and after a very very long time of being neutral to hating myself#it feels very big. to be able to see myself in the mirror and be like.... oh. i don't mind this. i like it more than i did yesterday#it sounds super intense right#but really it's apathetic#i feel ugly so i avoid looking in mirrors and just learn to tune out feeling much either way#and sometimes i have a big emotion about how bad i feel because it builds up#and then you're apathetic again and just moving and living and avoiding it because it's deceptively easy to ignore#but lately i just feel.... better#i like my own face again#i like my body#i am still on a journey of taking care of my body in better ways but it just feels like a small victory#anyway happy halloween to me ❤️#hail satan#hail myself
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“Don’t… don’t tell him you think dingbat fonts are cool.”
AUGH @forgettable-au fanart :3 been on another roll with it (in agony constantly)
theres some untranslated wingdings cause i love translating it myself, hope others do too :D
not confident on how “canon” or in-character this is but- I HAD FUN this AU has really got me in the rendering spirit, I really enjoy taking inspiration but also adding mu own silly twists on it and AAA everything looks even more tasty now
I view this as them in New Home after getting something to eat (after the last page update) and heading back the same way since Alphys’ place is on the way to The Lab. The font convo comes back up again and then yeah
Alsoooo if youre interested in behind the scenes stuff heres the speedpaint :3
also i never poster about this- but i had another forgettable dream. it didn’t make any godamn sense. I woke up and drew the only scene I could remember:
Wingdings and Sans had a fight and ig wingdings killed Sans 😭😭😭 in a stairwell for some reason
and current Sans, Papyrus brother Sans, is like watching all of this and was brought here by Lancer like a Ghost Of Christmas Past type situation. Idk why. I choose not to attempt to make sense of this anymore. But i swear this is an actual dream i had 😭
#undertale#undertale fanart#undertale au#forgettable au#forgettable au fanart#wingdings i hate you#/pos#wingdings is the bane of my existence#/aff#it doesnt look like New Home#ignore that#angst?#more funny than sad#but still sad#Cause I imagine wingdings was so bothered by the fact that he couldnt talk to anyone without Sans’ help#and he couldnt get the hang of speaking in a different font for the longest time#so he just kinda became apathetic to the idea of making any kind of connection#with anything that wasnt science#like now he ‘doesnt care’#but before DUDE WAS STRUGGLING#i have a sneaking suspicion he still is struggling#like mans is lying to himself fr fr#but also THE FUNNY#I love just thinking about the inflection on how they would say their lines#yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh… ‘cooool’#i got this idea from how I always thought of Gaster as really cool before this au#like omg bro can speak in SYMBOLS??? THATS RAD#but then- oh yeah if you really think about it…#thats not all that cool. cause yknow#talking to people and making connections is a thing.
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you cannot convince me that these people don't just hate women
#they don't care about sports and therefore why should anyone care#just let women get hurt and outperformed by men because this person doesn't give a shit about sports anyway#this goes beyond your typical laissez-faire liberalism#this person is proud of being so wholly apathetic about women's concerns with petty things like ''safety'' and ''fairness''#i've become completely disgusted with the liberal mindset that refuses not only to consider whether harm is being done#but when confronted with claims that harm IS being done they can't wait to tell you how much they don't care#and that actually by pointing out that they should care you are really harshing the vibe#and really ruining it for all the people who were enjoying causing harm and not caring#i've always cared abt fairness so this mentality seems like. anti-social to me honestly#conservatives want to cause harm and liberals define harm as anything that is caused by conservatives#and only by conservatives
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art when tashi was forcing him to watch his epic fail match on the widescreen tv before breakfast was even over
#i know art felt so dumb#saying stuff like welp!! he played well!!#his daughter and mother in law in the background?!?#after putting on that fake intimidating expression the whole day to scare his opponent#tashi said decimate that lil bitch and art heard lose ur temper and then lose the match#eek#he’s embarrassing#love him#at that point he was really apathetic about the sport though#he lost his spark#challengers
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i love my Basketbot Portal AU
#Basketball is Chell and Robot Flower is Glados#i think GB would be Cave Johnson and TB is prob just her assistant.. and Puffball would be the Turrets (because she sings so beautifully)!!#maybe Flower is Caroline?#The plot would change a bit too... this AU is more like a role insertion and not a complete perfect run of Portal/Portal 2#Basketball would still be trapped by RF to do tests and she would try to get closer to Robot Flower and try to fix her#Basketball is really smart... i think she would admire Robot Flower's innovation and creativity even if shes Evil... they looove each other#they would totally fall in love and date in the end trust#in the end i think Basketball would try to code the personality spheres off of her#maybe each personality sphere could be a character... like Intelligence Core = Pin (cake) or Book (smart and knowledgeable)#Space Core = 8 Ball (in the sense that they both have a fixation on one thing... Space and 8 yknow?)#Morality Core = Teardrop..... or actually maybe Pie? shes apathetic and i think it would be cool#Curiosity Core = Liy or Pillow... in a sense? before her huge killing spree thing i think Pillow was the very curious and experimental type#im not completely sure for Wheatley... ill think on it#omg if you read all this thank you sm ive been thinking of this for literal months#btw please tag me if you make art#bfdi#portal#basketbot#basketball x robot flower#basketbot portal au#key rambling
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A Batman who kills people is a bad Batman. Except for Terry because he is my special boy. Terry can drown a man it's ok. He can literally shatter a woman it's fine.
#batman beyond#batman#terry mcginnis#I am doing my yearly rewatch to stave off a total collapse of the flesh vessel and wow#Terry kills so many fucking people in Season 1#even the people who he turns out to not have actually killed like...a reasonable person would think they were dead#there's no fucking way that Terry didn't shatter Inque thinking she would die. he killed the Terrific Trio in Heroes like yeah they#were dying anyways but that's like saying 'oh yeah I stabbed a terminally ill person but that's not murder bc they were dying'#he 100% killed/intended to kill at least like 5 people in the pilot ALONE#and Bruce just...doesn't say shit. he's like 'welp that's Terry I guess. he doesn't follow the same code as me'#On one hand that is a fascinating way to show how Bruce has become even more jaded and borderline apathetic to the evils of#the world (as also shown with his inaction towards Powers and general retreat from everything). On the other...what the hell#I want a Batman Beyond remake for so many reasons and one of them is because I feel like a more traditional plot structure#would further make this part of Terry's version of Batman really interesting as a drama driver
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laios and kabru being very explicit narrative and character foils of each other means you're primed to expect some extent of honesty and candor from laios at every turn throughout, even if it's to negative effect, while your impression of kabru means you expect his every action and word to bely ulterior motive or manipulation, even if it's out of good intentions. and how thoroughly this is subverted in the end, when kabru is forced by pressure and circumstance into painfully, awkwardly honest confession and conduct, forced to stand back and spectate instead of trying to pull strings and control. and laios rises up out of nowhere with an underhanded scheme so shocking and thorough it tricks everyone, and suspends them into inaction and speechless disbelief, clearing his path to the throne. i just think it's neat how they're foils and opposites until they embody each other's core traits at some of their most pivotal developmental moments
#idk if i was the only one but i initially assumed kabru was introduced like that so the two would have some sort of race to the throne#not even because i thought kabru was underhanded i just thought that's what she was setting up with their two opposed parties#with the same common goal but vastly different ways of going about it and clashing personalities#i really thought the narrative subversion would be priming us for golden chosen one laios all along and then kabru swooping in at the end#but instead it was indeed laios in the end yet with no shortage of surprises and satisfaction imo#i like it a lot more this way for both of them. kabru suits a quieter background role where his communicative skills take center stage#and laios has the kind of simplicity and humility that means he can be guided by his people and court on matters beyond his reckoning#rather than centering his own and risking tyrannical or apathetic leadership#thus kabru gets what he wanted all along. gets to have his say and opinion. to represent humanity's needs and see to them all#and have a king who is kind and learning to communicate with and understand his populace and those around him#dungeon meshi#laios#kabru
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nice spongebob impression 🎀
#class of 09#jecka class of 09#jecka co09#co09#class of 09 art#class of 09 the flipside#co09 the flipside#the game was pretty different from the past two games…#i guess switching POVs from nicole who is famously apathetic to jecka who acts like an actual human being really does a number on the plot#horrible things happened but somehow they felt more genuinely vile and revolting than the things that happened previously#the foot thing was kinda weird but like…watching nicole kill jeffrey was the best part of the game for me LMAOAOAO#i wish we got a route where we got to know karen better though#jecka and her canonically used to be friends…#and for the love of god why was like half the dialogue just feet worship that was gross#we could have had jeckas thoughts or character development or like more dialogue with nicole (??) but instead we get mommy fetishes.#oh i loved the dialogue when jecka was crashing out with her hot topic job tho#girl really wasn’t taking anything serious SOB#nicole co09#jeckole
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i didnt read the last chapters since i discovered it was the end (but i was spoiled by tumblr lol)... i didnt want to believe it... i want to still look forward to new chapters of No Home :(
For the last few years eunyung and haejoon have been my companions. I healed a little while following the story of eunyung, feeling like its ok to be angry and wanting revenge on your family and the society that continues to want to keep you in a "house" where you are mistreated. How the world isnt made for children at all, the absolute unfairness of it all. That you can choose to keep going, and if you do so its ok to keep your distance with what hurts you.
I healed too with haejoon, who came to terms with the fact that he will always be overcome with sadness and grief from time to time, and when that happens he can only let himself feel and wait for it to pass, and try to look forward to the next day.
Honestly this manwha was the best ever. I couldnt read this manhwa as a form of escapism because it was too real. It pulled strings in my heart i didnt know i had, made me question a lot of things about myself, about others, about my relationship with others. It made me have painful discussion with a few people. Following this manhwa, most of the time, was really unpleasant lol. I hated then loved eunyoung, I liked and then disliked haejoon (yeah sorry haejoon, i think you can be really cruel and stupid and i wanted to strangle you a few times in the last arcs (i would NOT be friend with that guy lol) -thats why this character is so amazing). But i felt so much while reading it i wouldnt trade it for anything. It was funny, it was dumb, it was deep, it was enraging and healing, but most of all it was sincere. The most sincere depiction of what being a person in a deeply flawed society is, and how there's happiness even while surviving.
It was so frustrating to see the manhwa go in a direction i didnt want it to go ! I wanted it to become my cozy refuge, where every problems are magically solved, where haejoon and eunyung ends up understanding and loving each other in a cliché way, where theres a new home with my *fave charas* and its a series of feel-good interactions. Instead the problems kept pilling up, most of them didnt have a satisfactory conclusion, eunyung and haejoon kept hurting each other and distancing themselves. Haejoon just cut contact with his father without knowing what were his nefarious motives or without this guy facing any consequences, we dont know if eunyung's parents will keep bothering eunyung unchecked, we dont know if they're going to be happy and rich, or if, realistically, as orphans without generational wealth and deep traumas, they're going to end up in a shitty life situation.
And i couldnt thank wanan enough for this. They didnt take the easy way, the feel-good way, the way that would have given them a probably bigger fandom so a bigger source of money. I'm amazed by how they managed to hold this whole story so perfectly. Not a single misstep. Everything they draw was where it should have been, every action from the characters were understandable (and frustrating lol), the fucking subtlety of the developing relationships, no deus ex machina and no miserabilism. I didnt always agree with wanan's ethic or what i perceived of it (i think stealing or being violent is ok depending on the context, i dont think working hard to earn money is a virtue) but i respect how they choose to present it. I didnt talk about the other characters because honestly they didnt move me as much (except marie), but i love them so much too. I felt sad that eunyung and haejoon didnt become best friend 5ever (or even lovers hehe) but honestly, understandable lol. If i was one of them i WOULDNT become close with the other at all, so its kinda amazing they could still find this level of mutual understanding.
In short, wanan is an amazing story teller.
And an amazing image-composist (have no idea how to say this in english). The artstyle doesnt look like much, but this gave wanan a wide graphic range to convey emotions that wouldnt have been possible with a more sophisticated style i think -how will i forget the red swirlings mixing with eunyung skin ? The expressions, the choice of colors, the choice in showing something in particular without giving a clear explanation on why (often haejoon's surprised or contemplative face, which made me re-read chapters a few times to try to understand what was happening in his big head). It didnt feel like wanan thought their readers were stupid, nor did they play the fake-deep style. It was perfectly balanced.
And so even if i didnt read it, i have no doubt the end will be the same. Im so sad they decided to end this manhwa, but i know prolonging it would have been greedy and that ultimately, the manhwa would have suffer for it. Some authors do that : they have a popular series going on, and for whatever reason they keep writing new chapters without a clear goal and so the story becomes diluted, messy, useless. I love when they do this, because i can say goodbye to a story progressively as my interest in it wans, without feeling sadness or loss. But it makes me not think of the story at all in the future, since everything that was good about it became buried in new shitty chapters. Because wanan didnt do that, i know that i would think of no home for a long while, maybe forever,
,like i really lost companions when no home ended actually. Because it really, really hurts, knowing i wont be seeing new faces of the no home characters anymore. I know it sounds probably stupid ; i feel genuine grief here lol. I want to know what will happen to them, if they are alright, if they found a place in the world... if there is something to look forward after all, and i really dread not having answers every monday anymore. and the fandom is so small i cant comfort myself by re-entering the no home world every week or whatever... does anyone else feel this way ToT ? maybe i should participate myself but well,, i wouldnt know where to begin...
And saying that ! I'm almost never on this blog, i dont really have socmed accounts, i dont participate in fandoms at all. But I spent a looot of time reading and watching people who does -without being connected or interacting with posts or fanfics at all. AND i really want to thank you all for giving me so much material to chew, posts that made me think, fics that made me smile, drawings that inspired me, witnessing interactions that made me laugh. I was and i probably will continue to be a ghost on socmed, but i really want you to know that you had an impact on me and i was looking forward to your new posts (and will continue to!).
the "every no home chapter is a test of my willingness to Not blow my own brains out" and explosion eunhae monday of @skiptoyuri
the regular nohome posters which makes me happy to check tumblr regularly @shimamitsulover @lesbianpegbar @luckyswamps @tomoyoo @cloudbends @t0a2ter @solcarow @dragon-of-timeless-blue
the awesome artists who keep producing bangers nohome art @gohaejoon @maxsolosur @jjd5426 @bnnuycafe @ct-bunny @lentl-soup @fartaycat @jjd5426 @prokkoli @moxymaxing @ginangtan
the nohome posters that i enjoyed running into @pleuvoire @homolobotomized @podoro-vines @fmet @welpuu @revertrate @obstinaterixatrix @kulluto
the artists that made me interested in checking no home @cienfll @craysmo @ant-eaters @idledee @fruiitlins @froqpi-art @201918b @tinfishmeal @ohrsoh @30mingirlfriend
thanks @ditherslam for the awesome fanfics, obviously i read them all and they're some of my favourites. youre an amazing writer and i cant wait for the next chap of "your atoms"!!
thanks @homeless202 for being an insatiable nohome poster for a while (and @grannykombucha !)
im forgetting a lot of others but i really wanted to thank you all for your time, energy, work. i never interacted with your posts or with you but i really want to convey how cool it is that you all contribute to make no home a more well-known manhwa and the fandom alive
thank youuuu (hope the @ are ok tell me if its bothersome ill delete it)
and really, really, thank you wanan ! waaaa i want to cry
#no home wanan#no home#no home manhwa#kind of strange wanan wil never know how muvh their story mean to me and probably lot of others they'll never meet#im really rambling but it felt strange to not post anything while ive been luring in this fandom for so many years#and thought about no home a few hours every day at least#it feels like a goodbye letter but i really know ill still think about no home for years to come lol#i kinda want wanan to make omake with the chara being silly and happy...#i want to know if eunyung and haejoon stay close T.T#please dont let time and distance make you apathetic#will eunyung inherit his father debts??#i have no idea how it works in south korea#i hope he finds a way to really have no ties with bis family anymore#and so nothing will come bite him in the ass in the future#haejoon being a model student and what is expected of society and having his uncle i guess hes one step ahead#well#except the mental illnesses#but eunyung i worry so much about him#please be happy in the future T.T#ah i should made another post its too much tags
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Getting Insane reading people comparing topaz and aventurine's tragic backstories and somehow taking away "aventurine had it so much worse so xyz" when they're intentionally different examples of how tragedies affect individuals depending on circumstance/culture/just fucking luck. They're morally grey characters working for the evil corporation, the nuance here doesn't involve any amount trauma excusing their present actions for and involvement in said evil corporation.
#topaz#aventurine#hsr#honkai star rail#IPC#last time i pointed out nuance people accused me of hating the character i was talking about#i really like Aventurine and topaz and how complex they are#also i think#perhaps unpopularly#that topaz is a kinder/more well intentioned person than aventurine#for the very fact that he's become apathetic in many ways#and so self destructive that he truly can't envision himself being able to help others#whereas topaz still maintains a level of naivety in comparison
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In a fight with Mike, El begs him to tell her he loves her and calls herself a monster. That fight is not about Mike or their failing romance; it is about her hating herself. It isn't about Mike; she wants it to be from Mike but it isn't about him. She believes that she is an unlovable monster and she just needs someone to tell her "you are not a monster, people have flaws and that is okay. I acknowledge that and still say: I love you." And guess what, her prayers have been answered:
"You speak of monsters and superheroes. That's the stuff of myth and fairytales. Reality, truth, is rarely so simple. People are not so easily defined." "I care[d] for you; I love[d] you."
And it is the most disgusting thing in the show. I have watched scissors in a back, burning flesh, rats explode into goo and eat people's faces. That is the most disgusting thing in the show.
And they know it. Because that's the point. She is disgusted by it. And it causes her to realize what she thought she needed was actually just what she wanted and she doesn't actually need it at all. She is fine without it and she can leave. It is a wake up call for her. And she does just that. She leaves. She leaves knowing her worth and she is lovable enough that she doesn't need him to love her, she can do it herself.
I've talked before about the many usages of "love" leading up to Mike's - Jason to Chrissy, Nancy and Jonathan, Max signing her letter to Billy, Jonathan to Will - but none of those actually matter too much in how it affects his words.
It doesn't matter that other people have already said it. It matters that El has already heard it by the time she gets Mike. And it is exactly what she wanted to hear. And she hated it.
Mike's words mean nothing now. Because if Brenner can say them and believe it, Anyone can. "I love you" is no longer some great feat. It's something you can be wrong about with your whole chest. Because they cracked open the door, made Brenner an easier to swallow gateway and said "Remember: nobody ever said it had to be true. They just said he had to say it."
#and then he said it#and then you didn't know why you felt so.....apathetic#stranger things#textual analysis#byler#ily speech#el hopper analysis#el hopper#martin brenner#el and brenner#el and papa#this is a real cool one i always come back to#mike brenner parallels#it was one of those 'how are they gonna do this' moments right before 'oh. that's how.'#the duffer brothers#are fucking good at their jobs#elmike fight#anti milkvan#the joy that comes when you stop surrounding yourself with people who ask you 'did they really do it?' and start talking to people who ask#'so how did they do it?'
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when thinking about foundations as a song being about DRAAG and the concrete age the chorus reads so dramatically different. it makes me think about the expendability of soldiers + the expandability of a country itself when under a dictators rule
#im gonna explode#it just sounds so uninvolved and apathetic. you died? who cares there’s thousands of you#and thousands of us#and there will be thousands more#you don’t even get the dignity of a burial. there’s too many people to bury.#you get cremated & your ashes scattered somewhere impermanent because it doesn’t really matter what they do with you now#ty martin for inspiring this post with your tags
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Gender fluid? No.
Gender oobleck.
My gender nothing concrete until grabbed/perceived into shape another makes of me. Then i slip away.
Also. You shouldn't pour me down the drain.
#mine#gender#gender oobleck#nonbinary#gender apathetic#apagender#gender queer#oobleck#did this make any sense?#been on my brain but idk if anyone else understands it#no but seriously#as long as i know you're referring to me I'm not really all that torn up about gender and how I'm perceived#I've been called Michael before#that's not my name but it was part of the name i have for my server profile on that discord server#so i knew what they meant#also#my 8th grade history teacher used the typically masc spelling for my name for the textbook i was given#and i just found it funny cause he had the roster beside him#i didn't care though#just was confused at first#fggdf
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Literally the only reason I like to think FNAF1 takes place some time after SL is because Ralph says something like "if the amimatronic do see you, try playing dead. Then they'll think you as an empty costume instead... but then again they might just try put an endoskeleton into you. Wonder how that would work" (not an exact quote). I like the idea of Mike either remembering the horrors that was Ennard or making some joke to himself like "gee I fucking wonder" when he heard that (or both). Any arguement that my timeline makes no sense will be discarded in the name of giving the stinky boi a PTSD trigger. (Also I like the idea of him being a bit snarky to Ralph's recording's in general. Like when he's reading off how Fazbear Entertainment would handle a death on their premises, Mike's just sighs and goes "glad to see the policies my father introduced haven't changed a fucking bit in the last decade")
#fnaf#michael afton#ralph fnaf#william afton#he also gets mentioned ig#“somewhat sarcastic and apathetic after his first death” mike is best mike#he's also just really really tired#he gets his shit together for fnaf3 tho#oh also#it's interesting how in fnaf 3#mike is trying to help the kids move on from their past#since he spent the series being controlled by his own#that's how I view it anyway
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weird thought but all my favourite ships are the ones where they’d be happy even if they did nothing but braid each other’s hair for eternity. like the quote “in another life, i would have really like doing laundry and taxes with you” or whatever it was, i just really like the idea of making the mundane special. like it’s not the candles or the lanterns or the roses that make them romantic, it’s the people sitting there with them. you could put them in a room with other people, playing all the right music and all the right pick up lines but they still couldn’t care less. i mean they won’t even think about looking at other people kind of love, like they literally can’t comprehend not loving them. i just think thats really beautiful. (this post is technically targeted to hualian from tgcf, but applies to other couples too)
#hualian#mxtx#tgcf#i think even if the world crumbled and they had nothing else to do they wouldn’t get bored as long as they had each other#like i know immortality has a certain stigma around it since you see everyone u love die#but for them they won’t ever really get bored or apathetic or any of those things they portray in films#you can see them centuries millenias later and they’ll still be in love holding that same red string#idk i just think thats rlly pretty#this wss inspired by the constant popups of tgcf i see on my feed now#genuinely one of my favourite fictional couples
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How many As do you have
if I forgot any lmk and I'll add them (allos dont count bc they're basically free) (I'm not a hypocrite for also putting alive in here)
-Alterhuman
-Apathetic
-Anger Issues
-Anxiety
-Asexual/Aspec
-Aromantic/Arospec
-Aplatonic
-Afamillial
-Agender
-Androgynous
-ADHD
-Autism
-AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder)
-Asocial
-Alive
-Avolition (the inability to initiate or engage in goal-directed behaviors)
-Allergy(ies)
-Ambidexterous
-Artist
-Anarchist
-American
-Armenian
-Asian
-African
-Atheist
-Agnostic
-Antitheist (Opposed to religious belief or religion)
-Apocalyptic
-Anemic (a lack of energy or enthusiasm)
-Amnesia
-Anorexic
-Arthritis
-Addiction(s)
-Amnesia
-As in school are a fantasy
#triple a battery#atheism#addiciton#asexual#aromantic#aplatonic#agender#alterhuman#anarchism#autism#ADHD#AVPD#anger issues#anxiety#apathetic#artist#sorry if you didn't want to see this on your tag scrolls#I don't really care#aroace#aspec#aromantic asexual#I PUT AMNESIA TWICE HELP ME HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT
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