#but probably not cooked and mixed with a bunch of stuff

[somekindofadeviant]

[hairmetal666]

Steve has done interviews before. Like, a lot of interviews. YouTube, podcasts, print, TV stuff. Not as a brag, or anything, just. He's been an influencer for a long time, for better or worse, and it's part of the deal.

Usually, he's comfortable in front of the camera. Usually, he's poised and well-spoken. But today, this time, sweat pools under his arms and beads along his hairline, the lights beating down on him in a harsh glare.

"Steve Harrington," Murray Bauman crosses his legs, smiles big for the cameras. "It's been a while."

He smiles too, tries to seem like he's not about to have a panic attack. "I've been a little busy."

Murray laughs and it's then that Steve understands how screwed he really is. Murray's show, it's all glitz and glamour on the surface; mixed drinks and hijinks until the celebrity guests lose their inhibitions, admitting things they probably wanted to keep secret.

It's just that, before, Steve didn't have any salacious rumors to worry about, and now--

"You've had a rough year, Steve, yeah?"

"Not my best, for sure." He leans back, tries to seem calm, unbothered.

"I was sorry to hear about your divorce. I think that announcement really took a lot of people by surprise."

His hands clench, but he manages not to shift or bounce his leg. "Thanks for, uh. Yeah. We were also sorry it didn't work out."

Murray nods, face full of sympathy. "You and Nancy, you'd been together since high school? That's almost--what? 15 years?"

"It's--" he clears his throat. "About that long." Steve takes a sip of the drink next to him, an apple martini that's both too sweet and too strong.

"Am I right to assume that you didn't see it coming?"

And isn't that a question? Sure, now in hindsight, he can see the fractures that lead to the end, but six months ago did he--it's all so--what if all along--

"All marriages have rough patches," is what he says. "We just couldn't come out of ours as a couple."

"Do you know what I've found really remarkable about this phase of your life? The content and tone of your videos in the midst of the maelstrom of rumors and gossip didn't change at all. 'Your kids' as you call them, are still as bright and vibrant as ever. You're laughing, dancing, cooking, having a great time."

"I needed that--that normalcy you know? And the kids, they're such an important part of my life, having them around helped."

"Including Nancy's brother, Mike?"

Steve laughs and it's not fake. "Totally including Mike. My relationship with Nancy has nothing to do with my relationship with him."

"He's kind of an antagonist--would you say?--in your videos, though."

"We have conflict sometimes, but it's never serious. We know how to play it up for laughs."

"So, nothing's changed between you?"

"Not at all."

"The cheating rumors." Murray's smile is soft, but all the air still leaves the room.

"What about them?" It's more combative than he means, but--

"Did Nancy cheat on you with Jonathan Byers?"

He swallows and it hurts. She did cheat, is the thing. It's not public information, still only speculation, but--

"You can't believe everything you read, Murray."

"So, she didn't cheat?" There's a glow to Murray's eyes that tells Steve he already knows the answer.

"Like, I said before, marriages are hard. We spent a lot of time apart because of our jobs. It took a toll."

"And she was traveling with Jonathan, yes? He's been her photographer for the past decade, from what I understand."

"They were co-workers, but we're all close. And those rumors didn't help our relationship, for sure. It's--not easy to hear that a bunch of people think your wife and close friend may be having an affair, that people 'ship' them. Even when it's not true, it creates--"

"Tension? Distrust?"

"Both, probably." He takes another drink as he nods. "After a while you do start to wonder if there's truth to it, and you're too ignorant or too--too trusting to see it."

"And it eroded the relationship."

"It certainly didn't help." He takes another drink.

"And how about your relationship with Jonathan's brother, Will. Has that been impacted?"

"Of course not. Never. Whatever happens between Nancy, Jonathan, and I, it has nothing to do with the kids. They know that.

"You talked about it."

"Yes. Extensively."

"I know there's often speculation on the relationship you have with them; if you're really close or it's all for the cameras."

"Murray." He leans forward. "We've talked about this before. I met Dustin through Mike, and the whole group followed. I've known them all since they were 8 years old. They're--I mean, not to be cliche, but they're my family." He sips the last bit of martini.

"And where does Eddie Munson fit into that family?"

The question shouldn't be a surprise, but he almost does a spit take, has to fight to keep it together.

"Eddie?"

"Yes." Murray's smile is chilling. "Your close friend Eddie Munson. Musician. Plays Dungeons and Dragons on YouTube. You made out with him in a music video. Ringing any bells?"

"I'm familiar with Eddie," his grin is rigid. "I don't know what that has to do with my marriage ending."

"Well, the rumors weren't all about Nancy, were they?"

"Eddie and I have--we became mutuals online years and years ago. I used one of his songs in a video and the kids are obsessed with his dnd stuff, so. We've become close."

"Friends?"

"Isn't that implied?"

"After that music video, I don't think so."

Steve rolls his eyes, lets the irritation show for the first time. "He asked me to be in his video. There's nothing scandalous about it."

"What's your relationship with Eddie right now?"

"Like I said, friends."

"Do you want it to be more than that?"

"Eddie's really important to me."

"Is that all?"

"Not really sure what you want me to say here, Murray."

"You were married to a woman for years, but now there are questions about your sexuality."

He grits his teeth. "My sexuality isn't anyone's business aside my own. People can say shit on Twitter all they want, that doesn't mean they know me. But--the end of my marriage--it definitely gave me the space for self-discovery, I guess? In a way I hadn't had before."

"And is Eddie a part of that self-discovery?"

"Yeah, as one of my closest friends, he is."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

"That's--that's not--I'm going through a divorce. My focus isn't on starting another relationship right now."

"You, famously, tattooed your initials on the inside of his thigh during an Instagram live. That's pretty intimate."

"We were just having a little fun."

"Huh. That seems like more than 'a little fun' to me. So, how's Eddie doing with the increased attention?"

It takes Steve a second to track the change of subject, mind still stuck on the tattoo, on how the ink had looked on Eddie's pale skin.

"It's hard." Steve eventually answers. "Of course he enjoys bringing his music and dnd to a wider audience, but the focus on his personal life is--it's a lot."

"Well, he should have thought about before letting you tattoo him for your 850,000 followers. Does he want a relationship with you?"

His throat is dry, burning, he wishes he had more martini. He wishes he'd never taken a sip. "You'd have to ask him. I'm just taking it day by day, you know? That's what I need right now."

"We're getting to the end of our time, but you know I have to ask. Your best friend, Robin Buckley, she very famously unfollowed both Nancy and Jonathan on all social media when news broke about your divorce. Can you tell us why she unfollowed them?"

"I have no control over Robin's accounts. I didn't even know she followed Jonathan ever, and she and Nancy have a relationship outside of me, you know? I can't say what happened between them."

"She's been in your videos with Eddie. She like him?"

"Very much. It's kind of annoying actually. They keep ganging up on me."

"Much to everyone's delight, I'm sure. So, what can we expect from the newly single Steve Harrington?"

"There are a couple things in the works, but only time will tell."

---

He walks through his front door an hour later, and Eddie's sitting on the couch, playing a soft melody on an acoustic guitar. He stops when he sees Steve, setting the guitar aside, and standing.

"How'd it go, baby?" He asks. His soft smile is so beautiful, Steve gets a lump in his throat.

"As expected." He crosses the space between them, lets Eddie pull him close.

"He ask about us?" Eddie's breath tickles his ear.

"Of course."

"And you--"

"I want--it should be just for us. We should be able to announce when we're ready. Not when Murray-fucking-Bauman asks."

Eddie kisses him, then, sweet and slow, making him lose his breath.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be right by your side."

"You sure? All my mess--"

"Is mine too. Afraid you're stuck with me for the long haul, Steve Harrington."

[shegetsburned]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐣𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | part i ‧₊˚ 𓐐

— ft. satoru gojo. suguru geto. kento nanami. toji fushiguro. ryomen sukuna.

𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨

normally he prefers to just eat what other people prepare for him, tasting his friends and students’ meals, most of the time.

but when he cooks, gojo doesn��t have time for shit, so I’m thinking of something simple but good. he likes to eat, especially sweet stuff. something sweet and salty, maybe?

he can do anything he sets his mind to, but is probably too lazy to cook most of the time, so he’ll just do the same two or three meals.

main dish; i’m thinking of teriyaki sauce chicken with some rice. it’s simple and soooo good. you can also feel the sweet taste of the sauce on the meat and it’s absolutely delicious.

you’ll have to close your eyes before satoru feeds you the first bite as he waits for your reaction.

i’m sure it’s sublime and it annoys you that he can always do everything just right. I mean, after cooking the same thing over and over again, everyone would excel, but this man has done it perfectly since the first time.

𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨

man looooooves to cook for you. you’re barely doing the cooking when he’s at home and it’s delicious every time.

he’ll learn new dishes just for you and ask what you prefer. he doesn’t cook for him, he does it for you, to see your smile when you swallow one of your favourite dishes.

it’s not extra elaborate dishes, but it’s cooked with so much love. the presentation is insane and it’s always exquisite.

suguru will find a way to make an amazing meal with the few ingredients you guys have in the fridge.

he’s definitely the type to add his own touch to every meal so that it tastes absolutely divine.

main dish; maybe a spicy ahi poke which is a spicy tuna bowl made with fresh chunks of fresh sashimi and a spicy mayo sauce. despite looking like an ordinary meal, its lightness and flavour makes me think suguru would be the type to cook this for you.

𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢

i have mixed feelings about this man because he used to buy the same sandwich from the same bakery for years. so i have a feeling he barely used to eat, especially being so occupied with work and doing overnights; less experience in the kitchen?

but for you, he has a soft spot and wants to do the best in everything that concerns you, including cooking. so he’ll learn his ass off in secret and surprise you with amazing meals.

he often prepares multiple dishes for one dinner so you can taste as much as possible. this man is hardworking.

main dishes; seafood salad + vegetable stew + temari sushi (their presentation is adorable, you’d love them) + a bunch of meat and seafood.

kento prepares everything before you come home, living for the sparkles in your eyes when you see the delicious-looking plates on the table.

𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

honestly, he barely cooks for you. he usually just orders take-outs, and makes you pay.

I just know he likes spicy stuff. it’s always fuming hot when it goes into your mouth.

i’m sorry but this man doesn’t know how to cook. he just endures food or goes out to eat. i swear he doesn’t give a fuck about what he eats, as long as he thinks it’s good and enough for his belly to be filled, he’ll eat it.

main dish; instant noodles at best. adding canned meat and sriracha sauce into the mix. he’s lazy, okay? but who doesn’t enjoy a good old cup of instant noodles?

also, toji’s the type to shove the food into your mouth to make you stfu thinking you’re annoying because you’re hungry.

𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚

uuuh, is he even cooking for you, or are you the one doing everything?

i have a feeling he’s crazy about meat. he needs some in his meals at all times otherwise it’s uninteresting.

so if he ever cooks for you, don’t be surprised to see different kinds of meat, and it is spicy asf too.

he takes pleasure in killing the meat himself, loving the thrill of chasing and devouring his prey.

main dish; roasted lamb shoulder with garlic. a whole ass piece of meat for the king of curses and you. he’ll probably eat many shoulders to satisfy his hunger and watch you take your time with the giant meal he prepared while salivating.

he’ll eat you after.

© shegetsburned 2023. Please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.

[orion4ever]

can u do qiu and tamarack with an MC who LOVES to bake/cook but since theres not enough people in their house to eat it all of what they make most the time, they'll just knock on their doors like "do you want cookies? I just took them out the oven." or something

Author’s Note: Hi! I hoped you enjoy this, I have recently been getting into baking so this should be a fun write for me!

Pairing(s): Qiu Lin x MC and Tamarack Baumann x MC

🍪🧈🥄

QIU LIN ��

Heck yeah! Free food!

When you first came into the problem of baking too much to eat, you were stumped

And when you expressed that to your dear friend, Qiu. They instantly volunteered as tribute to be a taste tester.

They want them as fresh as possible so they would probably just wait around your house or watch you bake them.

I don’t think they would help much other than passing you ingredients and maybe stirring the batter.

Only to get a lick of the batter

Of course, it's not because they don’t want to help or anything like that, they just know that you probably enjoy handling it on your own and being in your element without having some nerd ask them to go through the steps for the tenth time.

They get super excited when you try out a new pastry or recipe and have them be the very first to try it.

It feels like an exclusive event every time they get to be the first to try something of yours.

I headcanon that Qiu is kind of hopeless in the kitchen, preferring to just go to the diner or their parents if they want something.

They burn water so it’s mesmerized to watch you bake something from scratch.

I like to think that for a special occasion, they might try and bake you something either from scratch or a box mix!

“Wow! Did you bake this all for me? You’re so nice!”

Tamarack Baumann🍁

Gets PUMPED when finding this out!

Thinks this is something you can add to your guys’ tea parties! What's not better than some tea with homemade cookies and bread?

It’s like an actual fancy tea party now! :0

Tamarack isn’t super picky, but does appreciate variety! She encourages you to try out a bunch of different recipes regardless of the difficulty level.

Like, what do you mean you can’t make macaroons? You’re a master baker, you could try!

She doesn’t want you to be the only one pulling your weight to supply these tea parties, she will be bringing lots of teas and little stuff to put on them, like milk and honey!

Tamarack is crafty so I see her making you a little apron and custom mittens with while wonky, cute embroidery of your name!

This inspires her to make more stuff like a chef's hat which leads her down a sewing rabbit hole.

She eats most of what you bring her but she also likes inviting you inside to give them to her Omi and Opa!

She doesn’t care too much about the freshness of the cookies but she also enjoys watching you bake.

The energetic girl needs some downtime too and watching you bake is soothing to her.

“Treats? Yay! This will be nice for the tea party! Come, sit! I will get the tea you liked last time!”

[gilverrwrites]

Hello could you please do some captain boomerang headcanon fluff, I don’t see enough of it on here.

AN: I can and I will. Good fluffy vibes only today, however, if you would like a reality check, please watch the video linked at the end.

Rating: General (however, wanting for swearing)

Please remember: Everything you're worried about, is going to turn out ok.

Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Request Info

He’s not much for texting, much prefers sending voice notes. These can range anywhere from simple good night/good morning notes, the longest, most pointless, probably drunken rambles, jokes he stole came up with, or professions of love.

When he texts, it’s always in 90s/early 00s style and full of emojis that don’t quite mean what he thinks they do.

Cn’t w8 2 c 👀 u 🫵l8r 👄❣️🪃 X 🌫️ Gud nite mu 🫥 u4e lol 😜 🩵🪃 xXx RUOK 4 d8 l8r??? 🌷💦 CUL ❤️‍🔥🪃 X

Has your name saved in his phone as the most ridiculous nickname you can think of, probably also with a bunch of emojis.

Dependant on your personality, petnames would include a few of the following: Darl’, darlin’, babs, babes, baby (pronounced bah-bee), sweets, hon, peachy, lovey, peanut, or doll.

Whatever your least favourite is, he will use the most cause he loves winding you up.

Swears at you, a lot. But its affectionate.

He’s not used to people doing things for him, so he is massively grateful when you do like menial domestic labour for him.

You sewed up the hole in my jacket? You’re THE best, I can’t believe you would do that for me. You did my laundry? WTF? You didn’t have to do that (he’s been wearing the same unwashed boxers for 2 weeks, someone had to) how can I ever repay you babes? You cooked for me? (It’s literally a pot-noodle) You’re an angel, I’m not welling up, shut it.

He’s really good at like, enhancing 'easy' food. He’ll add egg and chives and stuff to his packet noodles, makes the best cheese and vegemite toasty, knows just how much oil and extra cheese to add to a frozen pizza, and has mastered box mix cupcakes. His favourite is chocolate.

Uses a 5 in 1 shower gel, if and when he showers, and you cannot tell me he doesn’t blast lynx africa and/or paco rabanne 1 million so he smells woody and spicy.

However, if you have fancy smelly products of you’re own, he will use them. Gonna treat himself with a good scrub and some large helpings of your shampoo and conditioner (this one’s got multiple products for their hair, posho!)

Doesn’t matter if you use products intended for a specific skin/hair type, it’s getting used.

As a nice bonus he likes doing it cause it means your smell lingers on him when you’re not together.

Won’t admit it but he also really likes it if you burn candles and/or incense.

If you’re close enough in size, he will steal your clothes. Especially socks cause he is always wearing holes into his own.

Gets all gooey and excited when you wear his clothes, especially if you’re small enough that they look oversized, and are visibly his.

If you’re inclined to wear flowy summer dresses, he’ll go feral. Also, a big fan of linen shirts/blouses and short shorts.

When he’s dressed causal he lives in shorts and filp-flops, even in the midst of winter. Or if he’s not leaving the house he’ll just wear his boxer shorts.

Is gone for long periods of time (prison, hiding out etc) so is very clingy when you’re back together, and doesn’t really have boundaries.

Will walk in on you in the bath shower to use the toilet, or to just sit and talk to you. If you ask him nicely, he will wash your hair. Might not do a good job, but he will do it. Has his arms wrapped around your waist at all times while you’re trying to do chores or are out shopping. If he wakes before you (a rare occurrence) he will just lay on his side, watching you sleep. Might get impatient and attempt to subtly wake you by gently brushing your side or nose, or gently shaking your body.

Normally sleeps way into the day, and snores, loudly. Often wakes with a hangover. And will practically beg you to make him a bacon an egg.  

Loves almost any and all brekkie food, bacon, egg, hash browns, pancakes, you name it.

Is not a cuddly sleeper. Like he can fall asleep cuddling, but he will start rolling around, splaying his arms out, kicking his legs. Huge bed hog.

Says his favourite films are action, gangster, or like bro style comedies. Think like: Road House, Indian Jones, Kill Bill, The Gentleman, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Hang Over.

If you put on a horror, drama, or rom com, he will not watch it with you.

But he will find things to do in the general vicinity. Or straight up do the dad thing of like standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. If he’s not sat with you, he’s technically not watching it.

So like, which one is actually her dad? They don’t tell you but the writ- No no no, don’t tell me, I’ll figure it out, Don’t go in the basement, there’s never anything good in the basement, oh she’s only bloody gone and went in the basement! But… Barbie doesn’t love Ken. I’m not cryin, I just got allergies, shut up an’ watch your dumb girly film.

Has a stolen tattoo gun,wants to get matching tattoos, has pro for everyone of your cons. Ideally, he just wants names/initials in hearts, but will settle for more symbolic tattoos. Like a boomerang to represent him for you, and something similar for you.

Keeping any gift you’ve ever given him for life.

I made you a friends ship braclet. Eh, ya know its not my normal kinda jewellery. You don’t ha- No, fuck off, I’m gonna wear it forever.  

Would still love you if you were a worm. Hasn’t the foggiest what he would do with you. But he would love you.

Obviously gonna teach you how to use a boomerang. Even if you already know, he’s gonna show you the right way. Gotta make sure his bab is protected. (Don’t tell him that you find them impractical and are unlikely to ever use one when in need, he will sulk.)

Aforementioned video.

[hongluboobs]

ok i was cooking up another hong lu analysis thing bc i noticed SEVERAL things in his base id art the other day and wanted to share with the class but they just dropped a new one in the canto V trailer and i have some stuff i wanna talk about that one:)

My Hong Lu knowledge and interpretation is very heavily influenced by reading Dream of the Red Chamber, which may not be the best because I don’t know how much Limbus will pull from the book because it’s Long as fuck but I think it’s given me a deeper knowledge of Hong Lu.

Keep in mind this ego is NOT out yet so i could be totally off base depending on what the full animation/corrosion/sin affinities are like and this is totally theorizing but I wanted to have a go at anyway!! And this got totally out of hand so reading is appreciated :)

One of the first things I noticed here is this Hong Lu seems VERY Bao-yu. We still don’t know for sure what Hong Lu is within the context of Red Chamber (i don’t think it’ll be straightforward considering how that book works) but it’s important to note!

He has this little hat on (this is the best pic i can get atm to show it’s not a fancy hair tie, unfortunately the footage we have rn is a little scuffed)

and Bao-yu is ALWAYS depicted with a hat like this.

This could just be because that’s the appropriate outfit for Chinese nobility (I unfortunately have little to no reference point here, feel free to correct me, but from some quick searches hats aren’t ubiquitous and ESPECIALLY not ones of this style.) I think it’s worth noting because it comes up in nearly all modern depictions of Bao-yu.

There’s also the pearl Hong Lu is wearing on his neck/chest area, which is where Bao-yu wears the magic jade he was born with. His jade is translated into Limbus as Hong Lu’s jade eye, but this plus his hat and the abno’s themes REALLY makes me think we are dealing with some Bao-Yu stuff here.

Speaking of the Abno’s themes, now i can actually go over them! All we have for Walking Pearl right now is the MD event (as well as general observation), but there’s a few things that are relevant.

Just based off design, the abnormality seems to be mostly about the precious (the pearl) and the filth (the muck) intermixing. which makes sense with the EGO being named “Effervescent Corrosion” and our holders being Hong Lu and Rodya.

There’s some symbolism around greed/wealth (the offspring filled muck desiring the pearl and fighting for which one will earn it? the muck tarnishing the pearl? ) and I think we should read into that because it’s Hong Lu and Rodya who have this one and they’re both very tied to their financial status. Those two sharing an ego makes me insane for a bunch of reasons but that’s probably for another analysis piece! But duality is REALLY important for those guys and that’s a theme they’re emphasizing here with both the pearl and muck within the clam.

There’s also some elements of shelter/protection/potentially entrapment with the clam’s shell which are HUGE for Hong Lu, especially with his egos so I think those may come up.

But mostly it’s about the mixing of the precious (likely “wealth” here) and the unsavory, which works very well with what we know of the Jia family. The design likely referencing Bao-yu and thematically dealing with the Jia family makes me think each of those individual readings are more likely because they’re deeply tied together!

And now onto the MD event! I did not write this in order so I may repeat stuff here but. I realized I had to cover the design first so here we are!

First thing that stuck out of me is this portion when you choose to sample some of the clam’s slime.

Sibling/family infighting is very Jia family. It reminds me a lot of this line base Hong Lu says.

You could take this a step further because the clam is something that would typically offer shelter from the rest of the world, and even though it protects, its offspring continue to kill and eat each other.

It seems fine, the offspring have this lovely shell for protection, and they have the precious pearl held within, but even as they are sheltered and wealthy. They are still getting killed and eaten by one another! Reminds me of someone I know:)

It reminds me of some bits in the later half of Red Chamber, where family members more obviously start acting behind each other’s backs or turning on each other, some even killing other family members.

Another part of the MD event that I got something out of was the beginning portion.

using specifically jade as the color for the seawater is a Hong Lu thing. I may be reaching with this bc it’s more than likely just flavor text BUT when taking this color with the fact that there’s nothing in the water it makes me think of an important scene in Red Chamber where Bao-Yu is described as an empty shell, so I wanted to mention it. We know Hong Lu has TONS of water motifs, especially when relating to his family (see his base ego)

The main reason I brought up this section of the MD event is because of the question brought up by the last portion.

If you take one thing from Dream Of The Red Chamber into your perception of Hong Lu as a character, it should be the themes of ambiguity, duality, and being between binaries. Because he sure as hell does that a lot!!! (and i’m not just talking about his gender) He is both genuinely curious and sheltered with an urge to learn as much as he can, but he also plays dumb frequently, backpedals and asks a lot of stupid questions on purpose to maintain others’ perceptions of him. He is CONSTANTLY walking the line between truth and illusion and it can be hard to tell which is which and precisely how much is fake or real, which is why I find him such an interesting character to think about.

Tangent about Hong Lu's characterization aside, it's really easy to read this line as about his family's perceptions of him.

Hong Lu (or rather, Bao-yu) can be read as being the source of the contamination in that he is the heir of the Jia family who is just an absolute fucking failure of everything you’d want in an heir for that time period.

The clam containing the filth can be read as Hong Lu’s lies (whether conscious lies or otherwise) to himself and others about the true “filth” of his family. Really good example of this is with another bit of window dialogue, but these lies and half truths come up quite a bit if you know where to look. (what happened to cohort of kin looking to stab each other in the back at every turn???)

We already have Hong Lu’s assorted water motifs (his feet make ripples on the water in his base id, land of illusion has so much water theming and shows the Jia mansion is surrounded by water) so I think this is a reasonable analysis to make :)

There’s some other sections to the MD event, but there’s nothing of note that triggered the Hong Lu sleeper agent in my brain & also this has gone on long enough that I wanna talk about predicting some stuff for the ego!

I am manifesting Gluttony/Gloom/Wrath for this ego!!

Gluttony and gloom are in the MD event’s skill check already and I think tie in nicely with the themes. Gluttony works with the offspring in the muck killing and eating each other and themes of greed with the pearl (plus the ego is primarily green and that’s a pretty good clue) and then gloom comes up a LOT with Hong Lu’s family (Liu Hong Lu, the only one that remarks on his jade eye, is also the only Hong Lu with gloom. land of illusion requires 5 gloom resources and also relates a lot to red chamber/his family) Gloom’s also generally a stand-in for water which exists here.

Wrath in Hong Lu generally manifests in him going “yeah, maybe my family was a little fucked up actually” internally, instead of manifesting as taking direct action about the fucked up things like it works for most other sinners, and acknowledging that his family was at least partially filth and killing and eating eachother (metaphorically. maybe literally) works for that

i am not an expert on sin analysis but i wanted to take a prediction bc it’s fun :)

I have a couple of predictions for corrosion and i’ll be real they are the main reason i wrote this thing because i LOVE when bad things happen to Hong Lu!!

Since this ego seems to be referencing Bao-yu so much i can pull stuff from Red Chamber too which makes it more fun :)

First one I came up with is Hong Lu taking the place of the pearl within the clam and getting locked in there! A bunch of his egos have to do with being controlled/trapped so i think it works and it also can work as a parallel for Bao-yu’s treatment by his family. Bao-yu’s name means precious jade, and he’s often treated more like his namesake than a person, heavily controlled and never allowed to leave the Jia mansion (or, in this case, the clam.) I just think it’d be fun!

My other concept has to do with more Red Chamber stuff, notably what happens when Bao-yu loses his jade. I’m not quite there yet in the text, but from what i’ve heard he becomes incredibly unstable and essentially loses his mind. This sets the Jia family’s downfall into even faster motion and from that point things get REALLY fucked up. Since the pearl here parallels Bao-yu’s jade, I think having a reference to that part of the book would be really fucking crazy for all 5 people who have read 1800+ pages of red chanber to get to chapter 94 where he loses that thing. Also i just want to see Hong Lu lose his mind i KNOW it would be terrifying and chilling. but they may be saving that for his distortion (manifesting)

In my skimming Red Chamber table of contents to find when Bao-yu loses his jade i just found a chapter where Bao-yu’s father admires a pearl but we will just ignore that for now bc this has taken long enough to type already and that is several chapters off. but there may be more analysis when this thing actually comes out!

Thank you for reading this far!! I hope you enjoyed me looking far too deep into an unreleased ego we know next to nothing about for fun! this took WAY longer than expected to type out but i’m glad I did because I loveee telling people about Hong Lu!

There is a very real chance very little of my analysis and prediction is reflected in canon BUT please remember that truth becomes fiction when the fiction’s true and even if this doesn’t turn out to be correct now u know a little more about Hong Lu and the themes he plays with :)

[megumimania]

AOT LONDON BOY HCS PT 2

featuring: reiner, onyankopon, armin

a/n: this is part two of these hcs, part one is here! thanks for tuning in its kinda rushed my bad 😪, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

ARMIN

-armin would be from islington or finchley maybe even south, but I don’t see him living in like bougie areas such as kensington or chelsea or like richmond

- him and eren went to the same primary and secondary together

-armin was literally his get out of jail free card because of his stellar reputation in academics

-he always gets free stuff from the corner shop or the chicken and chip shop

-doesn’t own a car, he either bikes or takes the tube because he cares about the environment and doesn’t want to add onto the extra pollution in london

-his dress sense is very casual like a t shirt, a pair of loose fitted trousers and some trainers but when he cant be bothered he’ll wear a tech fleece

-he has a very good sense of direction, like he knows the fastest routes for anything, like when eren and connie dragged him to carni (if you went this year im saur jealous 😩 but anyways) and it was time to get home armin found a quicker route that got them back pretty fast

-knows all the best secret spots in london for anything! which makes hanging out with him more fun because you experience a new part of london when you’re together

-he isnt a fan of eren’s scamming ways but when eren asks for help he always answers as long as he’s not a part of it

-london men i feel like are terrible with their feelings but armin is the exception, he would be very open with you about his feelings and such

-reads so much, you’ll catch him at hyde park or greenwich park reading till the sun sets

-he smokes cigarettes but he’s trying to cut it out for you

-his playlist would be very diverse since he’s been brought up in a multicultural area, like it would go from bashment, to rnb, drill to pop

-unlike his unserious counterparts *cough cough* eren and connie, he’s very loyal!

ONYANKOPON

-my ghanaian king, shoutout to my ghanaians!!

-he speaks twi so well that people forget he was brought up in the uk

-he would be from peckham or lewisham for suree, he’s deffo been dragged around by his mum round rye lane market on a saturday morning carrying that trolley with him

-he goes to a pentecostal church, he’s always leading youth service and helping out at church events.

-the aunties love him for this because he’s the perfect son that they don’t have and they just love him in general

-ony can cook and im being for real, so you guys never eat out unless ony wants to show you to a new niche restaurant somewhere

-he has snap but doesn’t have a bitmoji because he thinks it’s immature 😕 but eventually he caves and makes one because you ask him too

-hes always promoting his boys stuff whether that be music,

-he deffo went to an all boys secondary and then he went to a mixed sixth form after, he gives me those vibes

-he used to go to the library to link girls after school 😭 he had a big playboy phase but hes calmed down

-he used to be one of those people at stratford westfield trying to sell you magazines before you enter

-hes not stingy with his money, hes always spoiling the people he loves

-he has a bunch of caps and grills that he likes to rotate out weekly, he has great style

-he works in corporate london so its rare that you dont see him outside of a suit and tie but he always makes time for you

-ony is always holding your bag for dear life when you go to bait areas like oxford street or westfields or like the tourist spots because people be getting their shit stolen loool

-he loves late night tesco trips anything that he can do at night i.e late night walks, drives etc

-bossman is always giving him discounts on stuff because ony is loyal customer.

REINER

-look at that man and tell me he wouldnt be from essex tell me!! like thats pure dagenham material right there

-if you search up a typical person from essex, he would come up

-he probably owns those skintight chinos with those ugly polos with the church shoes

-he tries to downplay his accent a bit since sometimes its hard to understand him but when hes upset his accent comes through in full force

-always at spoons or at the club till early hours

-reiner gives me bricklayer vibes so thats what im gonna roll with

-when he comes home from work in summer hes like hot and sweaty but it makes his biceps glow so its kinda sexy idk

-has a bunch of tattoos, most of them are birthdays of family members and a picture of his grandma who passed away

-has a british bulldog called belle, the dog is fucking scary but reiner thinks the world of her and thinks she can do no wrong

-listens to mainly dnb, garage, techno

-downs pints at the pub like it’s nothing, he has a high alcohol tolerance

-proper geezer that’s all i have to say tbh!

[strwbmei]

Matchup Event

Matchup for: @schendsal

Matchups: Yukong, Bronya, Eula

Contains: fluff, smut, male reader, breeding (Yukong), creampie mentions (Yukong), mentions of lactation (Yukong), breast play (Yukong and Bronya), marking (Bronya), semi-public sex (Eula), implied masturbation (Eula), blowjob (Eula)

A/N: Sorry for taking so long! Honestly, it was Yukong's part that took the longest because there was a bunch of stuff I had to confirm with the lore and then I ended up changing most of it by the time I was almost finished. Hope you like it, though!

Ask:

Congratulations on reaching 1,000 followers, I hope you continue to grow more and more!

Personality-wise I tend to be an ambivert.

Around close friends I'm the one in the group who's always cracking jokes or saying the most mind-numbingly stupid things. I do this to make them laugh and keep their spirits high, since I know that life can be pretty stressful for everyone. If that stress gets to be too much, then I'm happy to hear out their troubles and lend them a shoulder for support. I might not be able to solve their problems, but I want to be a source of strength for them at the least.

Outside my friend group I become a lot more closed off. Instead of goofing off, I'm told I become diligent and considerate of others. I like to make sure school assignments are completed ahead of time so my group can review it and help other groups if they become stuck. Though I usually end up as the group lead, I don't like to lead by force. Instead I prefer to let my team play to their strengths, and I'll make up the weaknesses as we go along. A happy team is a good team after all!

This doesn't mean I'm not without my flaws. I can be really immature at times, and I get depressed if I feel like I'm holding others back or can't perform at the high standard I set for myself. When this happens I usually close myself off from others and listen to music until I feel better. I can get competitive when it comes to things I'm passionate about, but not to the point of lashing out at others.

In terms of hobbies I have a few outside of games. I like reading, cooking for others, listening to music, and cheesy romance novels. I sketch a bit too, but I'm not very good at it, haha. I'm the type to take a lot of interest in my partners hobbies, and I'd probably bug them a bunch about it.

For the ask, I'd like a mix of SFW and NSFW with whomever I'm paired with. Sadly the only fandoms I'm familiar with are Honkai: Star Rail and Genshin Impact. Grinding for those two eats up most of my spare time, so I haven't gotten to try the others. The scenario could be a festival date or comforting one another after a long day of work. But if inspiration strikes you, feel free to write what you please!

I'm a heterosexual dominant, so I suppose I wouldn't want to be paired up with any of the men. (Fine as they may be). Intimacy for me is more about the connection than being extreme with it, and I take pride in providing my partner with pleasure. For my own tastes, I am into breeding, sleepy sex, semi-public sex, oral (giving & receiving), and breast play.

Yukong

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ No one would've guessed that you two were in a relationship, especially with how you two act in the workplace. In fact, everyone thought Yukong disliked you due to the high standard she always held you to when that was only because she knew she could count on you.

: ̗̀➛ That said, your relationship wasn't a secret. Yukong wasn't exactly the type to be all clingy and affectionate in public, much less while on the job, so everyone dismissed it as a joke whenever you called her your wife. They just thought you were one of those guys who liked getting treated harshly. Safe to say they were floored when they saw Yukong giving you a kiss on the cheek before heading into the building.

: ̗̀➛ She may have been an ace pilot who could calmly conquer the battlefield in any situation, but she couldn't help but feel nervous introducing you to Qingni. Yukong was extremely relieved that the two of you got along. Though, much to her detriment, you bonded over pulling silly pranks on her when she least expected them.

: ̗̀➛ Domestic life with Yukong couldn't be any better. She's responsible for her share of chores and helps you out whenever she can. Both her and Qingni are also a joy to cook for because you can easily see the way their eyes light up once they take the first bite.

: ̗̀➛ Once a month, without fail, the three of you clear your schedule to have a picnic trip together. Most of the time, you're the one who cooks all of the food while Yukong is the one who sets everything up. Once you're done eating, the three of you often opt to fly kites or catch up with each other. Both activities give Yukong a lot of comfort.

: ̗̀➛ Your relationship with her feels like home. In a future full of uncertainties and doubt, you find respite within each other. You might have disagreements every now and then, but they only make your bond and trust in the other person even stronger.

"Dear, could you pass me the salt, please?"

"Mm. Here you go."

"..."

"..." It's been a little bit longer than an hour since you first got home. You and Yukong didn't fight or anything, but the awkwardness is killing you. It's obvious that both of you have had a tiring day, even more so than usual.

The dining room is filled with soft, yet sharp sounds of tableware, and you're the first to actually try to break this uncomfortable silence. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Yukong." She nods and sighs. "I know, it's just... I've never been good with words."

Annnnnd it's back to that same soundlessness again. Not another word from either of you until you're in bed together. "I apologize for always treating you so harshly at work." She suddenly speaks up, turning to face you.

"It's nothing personal. Besides, I wouldn't want to get special treatment just because I'm your partner. What brought this on?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing in particular. I've just been really stressed with work lately, and I don't wish to cause any for you."

"Not at all. I know you only do that because you trust me." You smile, brushing a stray strand of hair from her forehead.

"Because you're one of the few I can depend on. You're always doing your best, and I'm proud of you for it."

"Yeah. Thank you, Yukong."

"I just want you to know that you can depend on me too. You don't have to shoulder everything on your own."

"..."

"..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Breeding. Breeding. Breeding. It's quite literally all that's on her mind whenever the two of you make love. You could say that it's because of her genes or heat cycles, but Yukong can't deny that she's always wanted to have little pups to care for.

: ̗̀➛ She doesn't even care if she cums as long as you promise to stuff her full by the end of it. Of course, you'd never be so cruel, but it just goes to show how she'll gladly do anything to get you to breed her thoroughly.

: ̗̀➛ To Yukong, it doesn't matter whether she's on top or bottom. While she'd be grateful if you did most of the work, she's also perfectly willing to put in effort to get what she wants. Whether it be in her career or in bed, it's a whole different feeling of satisfaction to get what you've worked so hard for.

: ̗̀➛ Yukong isn't very vocal in bed, but that doesn't mean she isn't feeling good. It's quite the opposite, actually. You know you've got her good when she's biting her lip, nails digging into whatever part of you she can reach as her cunt clamps down hard on you.

: ̗̀➛ Despite never actually have given birth before, Yukong has the ability to lactate. You don't even have to play with her breasts to get her to— she'll lactate a good bit just from having an orgasm. Playing with her nipples certainly helps, though.

: ̗̀➛ Call her vanilla, but Yukong dislikes using toys in bed. She thinks they're a waste of time and prefers to get straight into the action. She won't mind using them on you if you want her to, but when it comes to herself, she'd much rather you pound her silly instead of wasting your energy on vibrators and the like.

You're in the kitchen, on your way to start making breakfast. You woke up early, and what better use of your time to make Yukong a nice meal? Currently, she's in your shared room, getting some much needed rest.

Or so you thought until you saw her standing by the doorframe wearing nothing but one of your dress shirts. "Good morning, Yukong. What do you think of pancakes for breakfast?" You smile at her, on your way to grab your apron.

You're quickly stopped in your tracks when Yukong suddenly stumbles, almost falling to the ground. "Yukong! Are you alright?" She shakes her head. "My love... I need your help."

You're worried and confused for a moment before you look down to see her thighs sticky with her fluids.

Oh.

You gulp. "I understand. Don't worry, I'll take care of you." Your hands make their way to the buttons of her shirt, and you're able to feel just how hot her body is beneath it. Even more so than during her usual heat cycles.

You leave kisses along her neck, collarbones, and her now exposed chest, but it seems Yukong doesn't want that. Her mind is hazy, and her lust for you only worsens by the second.

She takes your hand, guiding it to her dripping cunt,and you can feel just how much she needs you. Yukong looks at you with dazed eyes, "There's no need for you to be such a gentleman. I'm... really not in the mood for teasing right now."

Bronya

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Bronya loved being the Supreme Guardian. Truly, she did—but loving something doesn't mean she's always happy to do it. She was glad to help her people and take on their burdens, but the dark circles under her eyes spoke for themselves as did her obvious fatigue.

: ̗̀➛ Every day felt like an endless cycle of document after document until you came into her life. Everybody else felt it wasn't their place to try to assist Bronya with her duties, and you were the only one who made an effort to help.

: ̗̀➛ Seeing the cup of coffee on her desk with a small note always gives Bronya the strength she needs to push through the day because she immediately knows who it's from. The coffee is made just how she likes it, at just the right temperature. It's a secret that she won't tell even you, but she keeps all of those post-its you leave in a drawer and looks through them whenever she misses you.

: ̗̀➛ Even with a busy lifestyle, she tries to make as much time for you as she can and comes home into your arms as early as possible. Sure, fancy dates might not always be feasible, but can it really get better than cuddling with each other as you fall asleep?

: ̗̀➛ She doesn't want to reveal your relationship to the public until you're married, but everyone can clearly see that the two of you have something going on. The way she smiles when she's with you is completely different.

: ̗̀➛ Overall, they're just glad that their Supreme Guardian isn't overworking herself as much. Everyone tells her to rest, but you're the only one that she isn't as stubborn with.

Cocolia Rand, her mother. Cocolia Rand, the Supreme Guardian.

Since when did the line start to blur? Perhaps such a "line" did not exist in the first place. Perhaps she deliberately chose to ignore the undeniable signs of impending catastrophe. And yet, what did that lead to?

It's already been a year, but her nightmares repeat like clockwork all the same. Just when she thinks she's come to accept what happened, memories much too vivid come back to haunt her.

Bronya jolts awake in a cold sweat. She tries to draw breath, but air fails to enter her lungs. It feels as if they've closed themselves; as if this were punishment for her ignorance.

"Bronya... Bronya!" You call out to her. Seeing you has eased the aching in her heart ever so slightly, and finally, she can breathe.

Bronya hadn't shed a single tear since that day; she vowed to herself and to her mother that she wouldn't. Yet, without realizing it, a stream of them makes their way down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me so suddenly..." Bronya sniffles, wiping her tears. You pull her into a tight hug, and she gladly takes the opportunity to hide her face in your neck. She doesn't want you to see her like this.

"It's okay. It'll all be alright. I'm here for you."

Just like that, something inside of Bronya shatters. All of the anger and sadness she's felt for so long, all at once. She bursts into tears and sobs into your shirt. "You've been so brave, haven't you?"

Almost an hour passes as you comfort her, and she finally starts to calm down. She pulls away, looking up at you with puffy, tear-stained eyes. "There's nothing left. I've lost everything." You muster up the warmest smile you can manage and bring a hand up to caress her cheek. "You're wrong, Bronya. There is still something left." "A chance to take everything back."

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Bronya is the most submissive person to walk this universe EVER. The human embodiment of the phrase "you tell me to jump, I ask how high." She'll do whatever you want as soon as you say the word because making you feel good makes her feel good.

: ̗̀➛ Considering the type of person you are, sex with Bronya is almost like a competition of pleasuring the other person more. She's very good at turning you on, but she's way too tired to do much most of the time. Bronya still tries, of course, but you always end up winning this little "competition" of yours.

: ̗̀➛ She's such a big baby in a way that just makes you want to spoil her rotten. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, you name it— she'll cling onto you every chance she gets. The sweet thing just has to touch you, and you could never bring yourself to deny her.

: ̗̀➛ Her moans are so pretty, too! They're drawn-out and breathy, growing louder as she nears her orgasm. She tries not to be too loud, but it just feels too good sometimes. One side of you wants to make her scream your name loud enough for everyone else to hear, while the other wants to keep her cute sounds all to yourself.

: ̗̀➛ Scratches a lot, but the marks aren't too deep thanks to her nails always being perfectly filed. She doesn't leave hickeys (much) as she's more of the type to leave soft, quick kisses wherever she can reach. Bronya can't help feeling guilty seeing the red lines she made on your back, though. There are many other ways she can mark you as hers, after all. She doesn't want to hurt you.

"My love..." Bronya sighs dreamily, feeling your hands trail up her body. Your warmth provided her comfort to get through the night, and truly, that was the only thing she sought from you before all of this began.

A kiss. That was all it took for lust to plant itself in your hearts.

She tilted her head, and you gladly took the chance to leave soft kisses along her neck. Your fingers traced her body; down to her her hips, back up to her breasts, and finally, they found themselves playing with her nipples.

"Mmh..." Bronya groaned, leaning into your touch. You hum in response, rolling the buds on your fingers. "Beautiful girl." A soft, yet sudden pinch makes her gasp and arch her back. "Love you so much..."

Your warmth was no longer enough. Bronya wanted more; wanted you. You made her feel like the greediest woman in Belobog, and for some reason, she loved it. "Please, I want you."

Halting your movements, you gently flip her over so that you're on top of her. You take the hand covering her mouth and kiss the inside of her wrist. "Then, you will have me. I'm all yours."

Is lust just another fragment of love or an impurity that taints it? Is Bronya your adored muse, or your most beloved sin?

Eula

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Honestly, the two of you didn't quite get along at first. She wasn't outright uncooperative when the two of you went on missions, but you could feel how strangely distant she was being for seemingly no reason. You only broke the ice once you invited her to a drink to celebrate finishing a particularly difficult mission together.

: ̗̀➛ She's never had someone willingly accompany her, much less invite her to a bar, so she ended up talking your ear off as she vented her frustrations about the discrimination she faced just for her last name. While her family has done some messed up stuff, that isn't necessarily her fault. She's just a normal girl.

: ̗̀➛ No one could've expected it, but the first thing you discovered you had in common with the infamous Spindrift Knight was your love for cheesy romance novels. How you found out? You were both drunk. You started reciting the cringiest dialogue you could remember from them, and Eula continued the lines after you.

: ̗̀➛ Even though you first got to really know her while drinking with her, Eula only really shows her true self once she's alone with you. She's the gentlest, kindest, most compassionate woman you've ever met. You wonder if the rest of Mondstadt were blind to not see Eula beyond her being a Lawrence, but really, she's only this vulnerable when she's with you.

: ̗̀➛ Marriage in particular is one of her biggest fantasies. There's just something really romantic to her about being so... deeply connected to each other. Eula always thought it'd be impossible for someone like her, yet, here you are. You accept her and all her flaws with open arms. She's so used to blazing flames to the point that your gentle warmth feels so alien. It's not a feeling she's used to, but that doesn't mean that she won't cherish it.

: ̗̀➛ Speaking of marriage, Eula would prefer to take your last name. She's not running away from her family's actions; much less is she trying to clear their name. Eula knows that what they've done is unforgivable. A name is what makes up a good part of your identity. It's what people will remember you as and it's who you are to them. Bearing your last name makes her feel like she's taking a part of you with her wherever she goes no matter how much time passes, and that gives her indescribable comfort.

Eula never liked the Windblume festival. No, Eula hated the Windblume festival.

Why wouldn't she? Everything was so noisy. Even during the day, taverns were filled with drunks merrily getting wasted. There were fewer commissioners, which left more work for her to do.

It didn't help that the Windblume Festival also symbolized the downfall of the Lawrence clan.

Festivity filled Mondstadt's winds, and any form of participation from her earned nothing but more scorn from the townspeople she works so hard to protect.

Although Eula had you this time around, she didn't want to keep you from enjoying the festival just because she couldn't participate.

Alas, she forgot to consider one thing: It's you who knows her best. You know that she wants to celebrate just like everybody else. So if she can't go to the festival, why not bring the festival to her instead?

Maybe you can't exactly replicate the festive atmosphere and the little games, but that wasn't going to stop you. The essence of the Windblume Festival doesn't lie in high-quality wine and fancy ceremonies, but in showing your loved ones that you care.

Eula had her suspicions when you suddenly took her on a date saying you "knew a spot," but she didn't expect to see a secluded place in the forest filled to the brim with dandelions.

"So? What do you think?" You smile at her, pride filling you once you see how awestruck she is. It's not often she's so surprised. "It's... beautiful." Eula replies. The softness of her voice as she says this is one she shows only to you.

After a moment passes, you take a deep breath. "You're everything to me," you pick a dandelion, presenting it to her with a confident smile on your face. "more precious than the very air I breathe..."

It's her favorite line from her favorite novel. To other people, it might not make sense, but she remembers it vividly and she's glad that you do, too. She can't help but chuckle as she takes the flower from your hand.

"Or the chocolates I love." She continues. Honestly, it sounds more cheesy rather than romantic in real life, but she can't stop herself from smiling like an idiot. After all, she always viewed those books as nothing more than a mere fantasy.

"You'll always be my treasure."

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Great would be an understatement to describe your sex life with Eula. She's flexible, has seemingly endless stamina, and her hips work wonders. Not to mention she has the most attractive body you've seen and an even more attractive face to go along with it.

: ̗̀➛ Eula is neither dominant nor submissive. She does things her own way, based on whatever she feels like doing at a given moment. If Eula wants to ride you, she'll ride you. If she wants to give you head, she'll give you head and vice versa. Eula is just focused on making the both of you feel good.

: ̗̀➛ She's fine with mostly anything as long as she can see your face during sex. If not that, then at least to feel your hands somewhere on her. Eula might not look like the type, but she's inexperienced with all of this and she just needs to see that you're the one making her feel so good.

: ̗̀➛ Eula denies it, but she loves the risk of semi-public sex. It gets her heartbeat rising and adrenaline pumping. Everything about it from having to keep quiet to the chance of being caught in such an explicit act turns her on.

: ̗̀➛ She's surprisingly shy in bed though, especially during your first time. She becomes all cute and focused, trying her best not to mess anything up. Eula becomes more daring and bold as time passes, but hearing reassurance and praise from you is always appreciated.

: ̗̀➛ Riding you is her favorite thing to do. The position you're in gives both of you just the right amount of control. She doesn't have to move much for it to feel good either, just feeling your cock grind against her walls has her biting her moans back.

"I understand that I'm attractive, but do you always have to be so... easily roused?" Eula looks up at you, a shade of pink spotting her cheeks and eyes full of annoyance.

Okay, maybe this was partly her fault since she's been putting herself in provocative positions in front of you, but she only expected a bit of fun once you got home.

She certainly wasn't expecting to suck you off in a random alleyway where you could easily be caught.

"Eula, you really don't have to..." You sigh. Admittedly, this whole situation was really turning you on, but you didn't want to force her into doing anything she didn't want to do nonetheless.

"You really think I'd let you walk home with such an obvious boner?" She glares. She did have a point— ignoring it would just bring both of you embarrassment. "Just... make sure to finish quickly. This place reeks..."

Nimble hands work to quickly undo your pants and free your aching cock. Eula would much rather take her time in the comforts of your home, but the situation just doesn't allow for that.

Not even a second later, you can feel her lips wrapped around the tip, working its way down your length eagerly. Every inch that isn't in her mouth is being carefully handled by her hands.

It takes all of your strength to keep quiet as she moves her tongue exactly how you like it. "Fuck... Eula..." You groan. When you start softly tugging at her hair and bucking your hips, she knows you're near your orgasm.

What really brought you over the edge was the sight of Eula grinding on her own hand as she sucked you off. Warm cum fills her mouth, and she swallows all of it. "Geez, you're gonna make a mess..." She complains.

Seeing the wet patch on her shorts, you know that you'll have to finish what you started.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for putting less effort into food if I know the person who eats it wouldn't appreciate/finish it anyway?

I like to cook, especially for people I like. And there's not many people I like. One of them is my bf, who basically never has the energy to cook for himself, and who I was initially excited to cook for when he moved in. But it turns out he has little appetite period, and he eats so slow that his food always gets cold (or melts if it was cold to begin with), and he literally doesn't care at all. Like, he'll drink melted ice cream and eat room-temperature soup, is how little he cares. And regardless of how much quality remains in the meal, he's basically never ever able to finish it. He always has to-go boxes when we go out to eat and I have to remind him that he has them or else he completely forgets.

Basically there's a lot of food waste that's inevitable with him for adhd reasons (which I understand!) and he has really insensitive taste buds (I also know it's not his fault) that make cooking for him very... not satisfying. And also objectively wasteful. So if there's shortcuts that I can take that I maybe wouldn't take with my own food but it's not gonna make it dangerous to eat or anything, I do it. I know he won't know the difference or care.

Recently I mentioned to a family member how I did this because I was also saying how I don't waste the good water on my little sister who's a toddler and whose water is always mixed with juice anyway. They were appalled and I tried to explain that the tap water isn't gonna make her sick, it's just not to our tastes because we're used to a specific minerality, meanwhile my sister literally does not know any difference. It's extra time and money to go fill up our water jugs with the "purified" stuff, so I'm just being efficient by not using it if I don't need to.

That explanation didn't make that family member calm down at all; they told me I was treating my sister "like a dog." (Personally I don't think that there's a specific different treatment that humans and dogs "deserve" or anything either but whatever.) This is where I went on to say that it wasn't like I had anything against my sister bc I do this with my own boyfriend too, and it's just a matter of being efficient and not putting extra effort where it doesn't matter and won't be noticed. Like, you're not gonna waste the $200 vodka on a cocktail, right? No. If you're mixing it with a bunch of juice and whatnot you use the bottom shelf stuff. It turns out the same.

You can probably guess that that still didn't help. They're insistent I'm like a psychopath or something for being like this. I think the explanation makes it make perfect sense though. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[itzynabi]

happy birthday

summary: in which san celebrates nabi’s birthday early

set: mid june 2024

word count: 2.2k

warnings: mention of food and i think that’s it

an: more nasan (everybody cheer!) the next scenario will most likely be their first time (please tell me if you want to be tagged in that and block the ‘minors dni’ tag if you don’t want to be. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💐

nabi’s masterlist

Nabi looked up from her phone when she heard her doorbell ring. She wasn’t expecting someone so she figured it was just a neighbour and got up to answer it. Her face immediately broke into a smile when she saw San on the other side of the door. She excitedly jumped into his arms, paying no mind to the duffel bag he was carrying.

“Hi, Biyah,” he murmured into her head, somehow managing not to drop the bag. “How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m also good.”

Nabi took hold of his hand and led him. inside her apartment. After swapping his sneakers for slippers, he went with her to the living room, placing his stuff on the kitchen island.

“What are you doing here?” She asked when they were seated on the couch.

“Well, last year, we celebrated my birthday early. So this year, we’re celebrating your birthday early,” he said, placing his hand on her knee.

Nabi smiled. “Well, thank you. What did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking we could bake a cake together. A birthday cake.” He checked her expression to see how she felt.

“Oh! So, like… you pick out the ingredients and I do the baking?” She asked.

“No. Like, we make it together.”

She hummed, jutting her bottom lip out slightly. “I don’t really like cooking with other people, though.”

“You’ll like it today!” He cheered, standing up. He went to the duffel bag he brought with him. “Your first birthday present,” he said as he turned around, revealing a small bouquet of pink lilies.

Nabi gasped, a smile spreading on her face. “Oh my gosh! They’re so pretty!” She went to him, taking the flowers. “And I have a vase somewhere.”

She quickly disappeared into her bedroom, reappearing a few seconds later with a purple vase. The flowers were transferred into the vase, which was then placed on the kitchen island.

“Thank you, Sannie.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re welcome, Biyah. Now–” he walked around the kitchen island, placing his hands on it– “let’s get started on your birthday cake.”

“Do you have a recipe in mind?” She asked, playing with the petals of the flowers.

San nodded, rolling his shoulders back as he stood at his full height, his chest puffing out in a cocky manner. “Vanilla cake with buttercream frosting.”

“That’s my favourite!”

“I know!” Nabi squealed excitedly, watching as he tapped the island. “I have the recipe and the ingredients,” San told her.

“Then let’s get started.”

San placed all the necessary ingredients on the table, putting his duffel bag in the living room. The only things he didn’t have were measuring things and bowls for mixing, so Nabi supplied them.

“The first thing we have to do,” San read through the recipe on his phone, “is preheat the oven to 165° and place the shelf in the middle of the oven.” He looked up from his phone. “Okay, that seems simple enough.”

He put his phone down, squatting down in front of the oven. He stared at it for a few seconds before looking up at Nabi. “How do you use this thing?”

She shrugged her shoulders as she answered, “I don’t know. I usually ask Kibum oppa to help me with it.”

“Sunbaenim drives to your apartment to turn on your oven whenever you want to bake?” Nabi nodded. “That’s cool.”

“We should probably move the shelf first,” Nabi suggested. San nodded and opened the oven, doing as instructed.

“But how do we turn this thing on?” He asked.

Nabi moved to stand next to him, squatting down as she observed the oven. She pushed a bunch of buttons, hoping that one of them would do something. After a few seconds, the oven began to make a sound as the digital display turned on. San reached his hand out and fiddled with a knob, turning it until the number said 165. They high-fived each other, celebrating their accomplishment.

“Now,” San started, “we need to mix the dry ingredients together.”

He got to work on putting the flour, baking powder, and salt in one bowl as Nabi used the electric mixer to beat butter and sugar together. Once creamy, she added the egg and egg white, making sure to mix that in.

“You’re not supposed to eat it before it’s ready,” San scolded as Nabi licked the mixture off her finger.

“But it tastes nice,” she argued, dipping her finger in the mixture again.

“It’s butter, sugar, and raw egg,” San said, watching her with concern on his face. “I don’t think that’s healthy.”

Dipping her finger in the mixture once more, Nabi held it out to San. “Try it.”

It might have been a trick of the light, but Nabi could have sworn she saw a heat in San’s eyes as he leaned forward and licked the mixture from her finger. He nodded, pretending to assess it. “It tastes… like egg, butter, and sugar.”

Nabi pouted, feeling her cheeks grow warm as she absentmindedly wiped her finger on her jeans. “I think it tastes nice,” she mumbled.

The couple finished making the batter, putting it in two tins before putting them in the oven. As they waited for the cakes to be ready, they made the frosting. Once they were done, San shooed Nabi from the kitchen.

“Go put on a pretty dress,” he told her, dragging her to her room.

Nabi groaned. “But why?”

“Because I want you to,” he said, managing to get her in the room.

Blinking her eyes, Nabi stood in her room, confused about San’s instructions. She decided to just do as he asked, and went to her closet. Looking through her clothes, she tried to decide on a dress to wear. She ended up being torn between two dresses: a pink mini-dress with lace detailing along the cups, a bow sitting in between them; a purple low-waisted corset with a tulle mini-skirt attached.

“They’re both pretty,” she muttered, the furrow of her eyebrows deepening as she struggled to make up her mind. Staring at the dresses, she decided to just play eenie meenie minie moe. When she finished the game, her hand hovered over the pink dress, meaning that one was out and she would wear the purple one, but she moved her hand to the left to let it hover over the purple one instead. “What a bummer,” she sighed, pretending to be upset.

She changed out of her shorts and shirt, putting on the dress. She checked herself in the mirror, making sure she looked nice. Smoothing out her dress, she decided to go to her vanity and do her hair. As she was brushing it out, she began to smell something meaty. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering what the source of the smell was. Maybe she was smelling one of her neighbours’ food, it happened sometimes when her windows were open, which they were. She used her curler to add some definition to her hair, making it wavy.

Deciding she was done, she stood up and moved to leave her room. She opened the door and saw San busy working on something in the kitchen.

“Not yet!” He exclaimed, quickly walking over to block her view of the apartment.

Nabi rose onto her tiptoes, trying to see past his shoulders, but he kept moving and blocking her view. “Seriously?” She huffed.

“It’s a surprise, baby,” he laughed. “I’ll tell you when you can come out.”

“Can you at least give me my phone?” She had left it on the island when she went to change. San made her cover her eyes as he walked backwards and felt around for her phone before giving it to her. “Thank you,” she said.

San smiled at her and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “You look pretty.”

Nabi felt her cheeks warm at the compliment. “Thanks,” she mumbled as she closed the door. She ended up not using her phone because she needed to clean her room a bit; she didn’t know if San was sleeping over but, in case he was, she needed to move her dirty clothes from the floor to her hamper. Then she organised the drawers in her vanity because they were a bit messy and she’d been meaning to do it anyway. By the time San told her to come out, she had also washed her makeup brushes and laid them out to dry.

She picked her phone up and skipped to the door, where San was standing. He had a nervous smile and kept fiddling with the belt loop of his jeans.

“I didn’t know where you wanted to eat, so I just set up dinner at the dining table,” he said.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, I… Come on.” He held his hand out to her and she took it. He led her to the dining room where he had set up their dinner. The meaty smell from earlier turned out to be bossam, most likely delivered to her apartment, accompanied by rice, kimchi, and tteokbokki. For drinks, there was Nabi’s favourite soda.

“Oh my gosh!” She squealed, waving her arms excitedly. “This is amazing!” She turned to San. “Thank you, Sannie.” She embraced him in a tight hug. She felt his chest rumble with a relieved laugh.

“Anything for you.” He smoothed her hair away from her face. “Ready to eat?”

“So ready,” she groaned, pulling away from her boyfriend. He pulled her chair out for her then moved over, sitting next to her.

They made conversation as they ate their dinner, talking about everything and nothing. San told her about Byeol, his cat, and Nabi told him that she was considering adopting a cat of her own. During her hiatus, she had babysat a lot of her friends’ pets and she really enjoyed it, making her wonder if getting a cat was closer to being reality than a dream.

“Are you ready for your cake?” San asked, clearing the dinner table. They had managed to eat almost all of the food, leaving a little of everything. When Nabi stood to help, San stared pointedly at her, smiling brightly when she sat back down. He busied himself in the kitchen for a few minutes, probably packing the food away.

“Happy birthday to you,” San sang as he approached the dining table with the cake in hand, candles on the cake and lit. Nabi smiled as he got closer and put the cake on the table. He continued singing the song for her, his voice light. “Make a wish,” he said once he was done singing.

Nabi clasped her hands in front of her chest and closed her eyes as she made her wish. She opened them as she blew her candles out. When Nabi chanced a glance at him, San was looking at her with that gaze, eyes warm and soft as if he couldn’t believe she was real. She figured she was looking at him the same way, but that didn’t stop the blush that coated her cheeks. San cut up two slices of cake for the two of them, putting the rest of the cake in the fridge — they were both getting too full to eat more.

“This is really good!” Nabi groaned after taking a bite of the cake. She began to sway side to side in her chair.

“Is it up to your standards?” San teased, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

Nabi nodded. “It’s perfect.”

“That’s good.” San’s body released some tension as he relaxed into his chair.

“Thank you for this, Sannie,” she said, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. His hand came up to frame her face, deepening the kiss.

“You don’t have to thank me, Biyah,” he said when they pulled apart. “I like seeing you happy. You mean so much to me and I just want to make sure you know.”

“I do.” She nodded, sincerity dripping from her voice.

“You’re so special and I love you so much. The world wouldn’t be this bright without you, you know? My world wouldn’t be this bright.”

Nabi’s eyes shifted around the room awkwardly. “... Okay.”

San chuckled, recognising his girlfriend’s discomfort. “I’ll stop there. I wrote a letter for you that perfectly encapsulates my feelings.”

“Cool.” She took another bite of cake to keep herself busy.

San leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Nabi, pulling her into him. He peppered kisses all over her face, tightening his hold on her when she tried to break free, her body shaking with the most precious giggles he had ever heard.

“I love you,” he said as he pressed his last kiss to the side of her face.

“I love you too.” She turned her head to press a kiss to his neck.

“Happy early birthday,” he whispered and she grinned, feeling a warmth unfurl in her chest. The joy she felt left with a buzzing feeling, feeling overjoyed. She leaned back into his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

For the rest of the evening, they ate their cake then moved to the couch to watch a movie. They only made it halfway into the movie before they started feeling tired so they decided to go to get ready for bed. Once in the covers, Nabi laid her head on San’s chest, getting comfortable together.

“Did you enjoy your early birthday?” San asked.

Nabi nodded. “Very much.”

She felt his chest rumble lightly with his laughter. “I’m glad.”

“I love you, Sannie.”

“I love you too, Biyah.”

tagging: @seolboba // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea // @smh-anon // @alixnsuperstxr // @cosmicwintr // @bittersbloom // @txt-yaomi // @vhsdolly

©️ kim nabi

[fox-bright]

Rage Cheesecake with Oreo Crust, Whipped Chocolate Ganache Frosting, and Home-Grown Tart Cherry Topping

I took recipe-bits from all over and changed them into something that sounded more like what I wanted, so here's what I did today instead of committing a felony!

RECIPE BEHIND CUT

Oreo crust part:

* 25 Oreos

* 5 tablespoons of melted butter

* Pan--pie pan or springform, depending on how deep a cheesecake you want. This makes a nice, not-too-deep cheesecake in a nine-inch springform; it would be Too Much Filling in a pie pan, which would mean you have extra, and that's always fun too. An eight-inch springform is probably perfect.

1. Preheat oven to 350.

2. You may eat TWO OREOS. Crush the remainder. I have the best time with this when I use a food processor, but if you are *particularly* spirited today, this is a good place to take out some aggression. Just pulverize the things, filling and all, until they are all reduced to the consistency of sand.

3. Add melted butter and mix until it's like *wet* sand.

4. Put buttery chocolate sand into your chosen cooking dish. I use a little jar and push push push pat pat pat until it's all nice and level from the center of the dish to the edge and has no holes.

5. Bake for eight to twelve minutes. You want it to still look a little moist. Do not overcook!

6. Remove from oven and let cool. Don't move the pan around too much before it's cool or you risk fracturing the crust.

Cheesecake part:

* Two packages of cream cheese, room temperature unless you like cream cheese chunks in your cheesecake. No judgment, some people are into that.

* 2/3C white sugar

* 3 eggs

* 3 cups of sour cream (this is a very moist cheesecake!)

* Vanilla to taste

1. Preheat oven to 325F, that's 25 degrees LOWER than for the crust.

2. Cream sugar and cream cheese until smooth.

3. Add eggs, one at a time, mix until just blended.

4. Add all sour cream and vanilla, mix until just homogenous. Don't overmix or you get weird dry pillowy stuff instead of nice dense cheesecake.

5. Cook in prepared crust for approximately 50 minutes, until it's set at the edges but a little jiggly yet in the middle.

Note: Properly you'd do this in a bain marie, but I don't have one, so I wrap the bottom of my springform pan in aluminum foil and set the whole kit and kaboodle into a sturdy cookie sheet, put all that into the preheated oven, and pour water into the cookie sheet once it's safely on the oven rack. If the cheesecake starts to overcook on the top before the center is set, cover it with aluminum foil.

6. Remove from oven; let rest in bain marie/rigged pan for ten minutes before removing springform pan to clean towel. Let rest *there* until it's cool enough to put in the fridge. Cover and chill for two to four hours.

Cherry topping part:

* Sour cherries that have been frozen since last year, or a bag of cherries, or fresh cherries, whichever, approximately 4.5 cups which is too many for just this cheesecake but it's nice to have around anyway

* Granulated sugar to taste

* Corn starch

Or just pick up a can or two of cherry pie filling, in which case you can skip this whole step.

1. Defrost cherries. If you don't do this in a pot, there's a good chance that they will leak precious juice all over your clean counter. Don't be me; thaw that stuff in the pot you'll heat it in.

2. Once they're not a singular ice block but instead a bunch of big ice chunks, turn the temperature on low, maybe around a 2.

3. Once the cherries are separate from each other, add sugar to taste. This changes a lot depending on your cherries' tartness; I eventually used nearly two cups of sugar for around 4.5 cups of cherries. Usually I'd use a good bit less, but they're very tart this time.

4. Cook and cook and cook until the liquid is reduced by about a third.

5. Add corn starch. For those measurements I added about a tablespoon and a half. Remember to make it a slurry before pouring it into the pot; you can either do this with a little water, or you can spoon out some of the cherry syrup (don't burn yourself!), mix that into a little bowl along with the corn starch, and then pour it all into the pot. Bring back to a good bubble for four or five minutes, then remove from heat and allow to come to room temperature.

Whipped chocolate ganache part:

* 1 part heavy cream to 1 part chocolate (I just use Toll House. Everyone says not to do that. It's been fine).

1. Put the chocolate in a heatproof bowl.

2. Warm the cream on the stove until it's juuuust about to start bubbling. Stir frequently so it doesn't get a skin.

3. Remove from heat, pour into heatproof bowl over the chocolate.

4. WALK AWAY. I'm serious. Don't touch it. Don't poke at it. Do not, do NOT, attempt to stir it. Walk away.

5. After five minutes, come back and stir, stir, until it's all one thing. It should be like a very good, very thick chocolate syrup. You *can* just eat this, with a spoon. You can pour it over a cake, or dip strawberries in it. Chilled right as it is, it is a dessert on its own.

6. Let it cool to room temperature.

7. Come back and use your hand mixer or stand mixer to whip it up. This should get to a pipeable consistency; if it doesn't, you may need to incorporate powdered sugar. If you add butter and powdered sugar, you'll get a very stable buttercream.

Finishing part:

1. Remove springform edge from nice cold cheesecake.

2. Pipe or dollop whipped ganache in ring atop the cheesecake.

3. Fill the ring with cooled cherry filling.

4. Garnish further if you'd like. I used decorative Sixlets and some more crushed Oreo.

5. Finished!

[the-s1lly-corner]

GENERAL JAX HCS

mix of a bunch of stuff, probably going to be writing random stuff while waiting for requests to come in so i have something to do side note i never actually felt a knot in my neck form, only wake up with them after getting them in my sleep... until today, felt one form right in the back of my neck while i was just. standing and oh my god it sucks so much i hate knots but actually feeling it. develop. right there. sucks more i think anyways this is a mixed bag of just basic jax hcs + stuff that can tie in with other characters or the reader, we'll see since i write these notes before doing anything else

would this really be a jax hc post by the silly corner if i didnt mention the fidget headcannon? literally the hc that i bring up the most in my posts when theres readers who have accessories or tails or what have you?

i think hes going to mess with anything he can get his hands on; usually passing them between his hands or perhaps tossing them around in the air and catching them.. if its something bouncy hes going to be bouncing it along the ground while he's walking.. i think sometimes with other characters, he does try to mess with them out of habit (plus given how he snatches zoobles arm it kind of. shows hes comfortable doing that sort of thing, you know?)

sometimes messes with ragathas bow, or zoobles antennae (though with zooble its more on purpose and to annoy them).. i think you get the idea

speaking of ragatha i think they would be good friends, i mean i personally think if ragatha didnt like jax she would keep her distance from him (though to be fair we still only have the pilot so far + i think ragatha would still be polite if she didnt like him)

as for his dynamic with zooble i think they kind of egg each other on, but on the rare occasion they do agree on something they do so begrudgingly

i think his ears twitch when hes thinking or when hes irritated, not huge movements... mostly little... twiks, you know?

i dont think he really has fur personally, and if he does its really short and smooth... in my opinion he looks like he would be made of the same material as those small squishy animal toys

these ones, i got a handful of them and theyre genuinely so soft and squishy, me thinks jax would feel like these things

on the off chance he needs to cook for whatever reason, hes a terrible cook. like i think he can make one meal but outside of that hes a disaster in the kitchen... also doesnt make a good kitchen partner because hes going to think its funny to hand you the wrong thing when you ask him to pass something

malicious incompetence but hes doing it to annoy you and will probably give you the right thing after a few rounds of messing with you

no one is safe from his antics, assuming he and ragatha are good friends, shes still subject to his jokes at the bare minimum

so.... if youre friends with him youre at least going to go through the same thing

i dont think he would be a good secret keeper most of the time. like yeah sure if its something serious and important i think he would put aside his douchbagie-ness for once and keep it

but if its something outside of that? yeah no you're have more luck confiding in caine, who imo would pounce on the opportunity to gossip

probably shouts random stuff, like "hey caine, (reader) thinks youre (insert outrageous lie)!" just to mess with you. does this to other people, usually ragatha or gangle... sometimes does it to kinger, i think... only reason he doesnt do it to zooble is because they will get his ass, and hes giving pomni a 'grace period' before he decides to drag her into his shit

hes an ass but i dont think he would just jump on someone/j

speaking of, while he can be mean to some people i do think he has his limits, like hes not going to kick you while youre already down or make fun of you for something you cant really control or manipulate you by hanging something over your head (see the secret keeping thing, while he will tease you about more basic stuff if its something serious hes not going to do it imo)

you know?

though i do think hes the type to steal something from someone in order to make them talk to him; especially if he has a crush on someone... hes just a little shit like that

has this LOOK on his face when the person comes to retrieve their thing, and tbh... i can also see him waving it around over their head (hes tall, and if they can still reach it he probably jumps.. gets on his toes.. stumbles away and holds them back ect) just to keep them around for just a little longer

whether this is actually successful in getting with the person romantically depends... personally it wouldnt work for me but hey, some people find that behavior endearing and/or will be able to eventually pick up on what hes doing

does not like being vulnerable, this goes for really anything regarding feelings as he thinks it ties in with weakness (spoiler, it doesnt)... probably has a "eeeewww feelings..." mindset (though might still let you vent to him... will act uninterested but if he really didnt care hed just walk away.. more actions than words, this one is)

rarely talks about how he actually feels about things if the feeling in question is anything less than indifference or amusement... though hes not opposed to expressing anger or annoyance... will let you do what you will with that information...

naturally because of him being weird about his feelings, romantic feelings fall into the "eeeeeewww feelings..." category so hes not going to be blunt, again, actions over words here... and even then the actions here are mostly him messing with the person and trying to get them to spend time with him as a result (even if its not... hanging out..)

[roninreverie]

Alright, I don't even go here, but I am getting extremely sucked into the lore of this game and my brain cooked up a potentially silly crack-theory.

Not very spoilery, but warning JIC, I'm going to be talking about some vague TOTK stuff.

A semi-immortal (or time-travelling) adventurer who explores the world mostly solo, investigating historical sites/ ruins. He can read the ancient Zonai writing. He accessorizes plentifully, has brown/tan skin, and hair that is a mix of (what I would say) looks black and blonde (or white), and he could have very informative eyes that he keeps hidden from our view.

Alright so Rauru and Sonia had to have had a kid somewhere, since they're Zelda's ancestors and all that... right?

Now, I know there's the whole "Ancient Hero Aspect" kid idea, and I don't honestly know a whole bunch about Tauro but here me out...

He works under Zelda and respects her orders, keeping some time-altering secrets to himself until the time is right and is just sort of biding and enjoying his time until then so he doesn't mess up the timestream.

OPPOSITELY, he could just be a really tall buff Hylian with an interest in ancient history, and that's fun too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🤣 Anyway, this is probably a dumb theory, but if I had to see it, then so do all of you. I have nobody who knows anything about the Legend of Zelda to talk about this with, and I have been deep diving into BOTW and TOTK for the last few weeks, so I gotta get this out of the vault somehow.

Please feel free to take with a grain of salt and/ or discuss!

[therosefrontier]

TWST Family Lore: Heartslabyul Part 2

Continued from Heartslabyul part 1, because I forgot doing the whole dorm at once would make this huge... Again, spoiler warning for JP server content! But there isn't anything too story-specific for the events here.

Cater Diamond

And now, following our freshmen duo and their positive relationship with their families, we get to move on to Cater! Whose relationship with them is, uh, mixed at best? Anyways, we have mention of his father and mother, and he has two older sisters of unknown exact age, as well. His father is a banker for a large company, and we learn that because of his job, the family moved frequently, about once every two years, to branches all around the world (Halloween vignette). Cater's homeland is stated in his profile to be the Shaftlands, so that's probably where his family is from and it might be where they are living currently, but he seems to have lived in other countries, as well. This alone appears to have had a negative impact on Cater…with him moving so often, he felt that he was never able to make meaningful connections with anyone, so he stopped trying, instead going for quantity over quality. We also get a little story in Silver's Halloween vignette, when he remembers finally meeting a friend at school only to find out right afterwards that they were going to be moving in a month. He mentions in his birthday boy vignette as well that he "never knew" when they were going to move again, and given the one-month thing, it seems normal that it was on pretty short notice. He talks about this impact on him to his Pop Music clubmates in his Halloween vignette, saying that he met many people from around the world, but the common thread was that "I would always leave, and they would always stay."

(image credit: NightCrow)

Cater talks about his situation in a positive light, saying that it was better that he had all these connections through Magicam and could just socialize casually, on his own terms, but at the end of the vignette, the story goes a little different. Cater watches Lilia have a very family-like moment with the rest of the Diasomnia crew and feels a sense of isolation and maybe jealousy...earlier, Lilia told him he was wise for acting as he did, but Cater sees this and feels that Lilia cannot know the way he feels, because he does have these kinds of bonds, which Cater thinks he can never truly have.

But Cater's relationship with loneliness is, again, is a whole essay in itself! Back to Cater's family!

He talks some about his sisters in his birthday boy vignette, in which he describes how he felt pressed in between the two of them (seemed described a little differently in official vs. fan translations? As the official has him saying "give a guy some space" whereas the original may have been more along the lines of 'squished between them', to reference Mystery Shop), and also, how they'd give him a bunch of "cute" things as a birthday present which was more on lines of what they liked than what he liked. But, he does say that they're better about it now and will actually ask him what he wants. He also assures they didn't mean anything by it.

(translation by Otome Ayui!)

But of course, there's more! Multiple other mentions of his sisters seem to involve them asking him to do stuff...

Will do things like go shopping and leave him with the bags, or get a random craving for ice cream and ask him to go get it (birthday jacket vignette). Cater says they can be "pretty demanding," but he amends this story by saying that they will also treat him to stuff while they're out, like pocket money, food, or clothes.

Asked him for a Scalding Sands body scrub that had been "all over Magicam" since he was there for Fireworks Fest (Silk Adorned voicelines)

Cater would cook for them, making pancakes from a store-bought mix (although this might not have been a request; he could have just wanted to) (Apprentice Chef vignette)

At the start of book 4 (chapter 3), when everyone is going home for winter break, Cater says that "going home is kind of a drag for me, too," talking of how he knows his sisters will "run me ragged," so he makes a weak bid to go to Trey's house instead. When Trey lightheartedly counters that his family would put him to work too, Cater backs out of the idea.

Cater's not wanting to go home slides its way in a couple of other mentions, too... in his dorm uniform voicelines, he asks the MC if they're homesick and gets the question thrown back at him, to which he says that he isn't, citing his "annoying" older sisters as the cause. In slight contrast, in his New Year's voicelines, he says that it’s “not too bad to work during the holiday seasons once in a while” because “sure, it’s fun to go back home, but it eventually gets boring.” So this time, it's just 'boring' and not a family issue, but honestly, with Cater, the shifting story doesn't feel out of place. And definitely, it's up for interpretation...he doesn't seem to hate his sisters, but he doesn't really want to be with them, either.

Now, back to the birthday boy vignette! We get another little story, the reason why Cater doesn't like sweets so much: his mother and older sisters got really into making homemade sweets all the time, and they would feed them to him until he was sick of them. Even if he didn't want any, he felt like he had to eat it because they'd be sad if he didn't.

And then, there's his lab vignette... Cater describes the relationship his family as a whole has with "cute" things: “in the Diamond household, everything's judged by one simple question: ‘But is it cute?’ Day in and day out, no matter what I did, if it wasn't cute, it didn't cut the mustard! Drawings, handicrafts, store-bought sweets, you name it!” And thus, the instinct to make it cute was "burned" into Cater's brain.

So, you could say that "trendiness" runs in the family. But also, this does...raise some questions, I'd think? Again, it really is up for interpretation, but Cater specifically saying "no matter what I did" seems to suggest that he felt like the stuff he bought and things he did, including his own drawings and crafts, would be dismissed if they weren't "cute." Like the reason the instinct is burned into him is because that's what he had to do to earn attention. It also feels a little telling that this is the Cater-tries-to-hide-his-sadness vignette, in which one of the mandrakes he grows in the lab, which are supposed to reflect on the mage growing them, turns out gloomy, and he tries hard to deny that this means anything. But as for what all this says about his relationship to his family...I'd guess that perhaps, he feels a little invisible with them. It's not like he doesn't care about them, or that they don't care about him, necessarily (neglect but not on purpose?), but he doesn't seem to feel like his own wants are ever really seen, and the disconnect is to the point that home is not really a place he wants to be. Maybe, one day, he'll open up more about this, but with Cater, I don't think it'll come easy. But who knows...

TREY CLOVER

And now, Trey's family! He lives with his father and mother, and he has two younger siblings, a sister and brother. His sister is four years younger than him (platinum vignette), but we don't now how old his brother is. His parents run a patisserie bearing their name: Clover Patisserie. They are bakers, and likewise, Trey grew up learning how to cook from them, and in his apprentice chef vignette, he seems to imply that his siblings know their way around the kitchen, too. Also, we do have canon[?] designs for Trey's parents! We get art in the appendix of the last volume of the Heartslabyul manga:

(thanks to Honeyworks on Twitter for the image!)

The illustration is credited to Yana Toboso, whose notes, as run through Google Translate (I do not know Japanese...), describes Trey's mom as an "active woman with short cut, tall" and his dad as having "mild droopy eyes." In this appendix, we also get ages for Trey, Chenya, and Riddle at the time of the incident (that is, the big backstory as seen in book 1 of Trey inviting Riddle to try a tart at the patisserie but then they lose track of time and Riddle gets caught...that whole thing...). Trey is almost ten, Chenya is nine, and Riddle is eight, which seems to suggest that this happened in fall, in between Trey and Riddle's birthdays (Riddle on 8/24 and Trey on 10/25). Trey describes the event in more detail in his dorm vignette: he says that Riddle's mom "stormed" into his house and lectured his "whole entire family for five hours straight." (which is an insane amount of time...how did she come up with that many things to say!?) Also, to clarify, there seems to be a serious translation discrepancy with this? Because in the official English Trey says that it was his parents who lectured him for that time, but that doesn't even make sense in context... The quote I used is pulled from Mystery Shop's translation, and YuuRei has a good post on this, too. Anyways, the scene is also referenced in chapter 17 of the manga with Trey's flashback:

Which is...quite devastating, but anyways! As far as I can see, we don't really have much indication of what Trey's parents felt about all of this, but in the manga at least, they appear to be pretty stressed...maybe even cowed by Rosehearts's laying into them like that, and who can blame them?

But, moving aside to happier times! Continuing with Trey's parents, we get a little mention of what they were like as teachers through his apprentice chef vignette. Trey is doing the Culinary Crucible to better learn how to teach cooking to his dormmates, and he comes to a realization: his parents would watch him cook, but sometimes, they wouldn't correct him when he did something wrong until after he failed, because that way, through failure, he would remember, and he would learn. That was what Trey was not doing with his dormmates: he would always step in to fix things rather than let them have that experience.

Trey also talks of his really beginning cooking days in his platinum vignette: when he was four, he helped his parents bake a fairy cake after his sister was born, which they ate with family and neighbors, that being a Queendom of Roses tradition. Trey says that looking back at the pictures, the cake was pretty terrible, but he was excited about helping and thought the cake tasted great at the time, and all the adults complimented him on it, too. After that day, he would join his parents in the kitchen to help bake cakes, although he said he really just made a mess of flour and probably was a "huge bother" for his parents. That said, from the sounds of it, it seems implied that they were pretty patient with him, though?

Trey gives a different food-related story in his birthday boy vignette: his favorite food is candied violets, and he had one for the first time when he was "really young," before he started elementary school. He was amazed at the idea of flowers being edible, and his parents tell him that he "drove them nuts" via repeatedly trying to eat random flowers and weeds after that. Trey has no memory of this. But he does remember snacking on violets at home that were meant for cakes and his parents getting on his case about it. Eventually, they started setting some aside from him, and now, they send some to him at school in the occasional care package.

(image credit: NightCrow)

Trey also mentions his parents in one of his Silk Adorned card voicelines, saying that they love trying out new ingredients, and that perhaps, they should take a family trip to the Scalding Sands one day. Also, in both his birthday jacket vignette and his outdoor wear voicelines, he mentions that he's gone on camping trips with his family before, during summer vacation.

In Trey's Halloween vignette, we get a little story involving all of his family: he once tried half-rimmed glasses similar to the shape Azul wears, to mixed results. His mother and little sister said that they didn't like the glasses because they made him look "angry," and his dad and little brother said that he looked cool in them... because the glasses made him look like a "movie villain." Therefore, Trey rejected the glasses. He has also considered getting contacts, but similarly, his sister says he looks "sinister" without them.

(image credit: Songstress Studios)

Trey has several mentions of his siblings: they seem to have spent a lot of time together growing up, although also, it seems Trey did a lot of looking after them and taking care of them, too.

It was Trey's "job" to make sure his younger siblings brushed their teeth properly, as them being exposed to sweets so much via the patisserie made it a necessity (school uniform vignette)

Trey would make his siblings' costumes for Halloween. He says he's "not great" at it, but he can sew basic things (Halloween voicelines)

Trey would bake his siblings' cakes for their birthdays (birthday boy voicelines). He also mentions in Ace's school uniform vignette that his siblings would often "pester" him to bake for them, and he says in his birthday boy vignette that he would usually cook dinners for the family back at home, since his parents were busy with the patisserie. His brother and sister would ask for his hamburger steak all the time.

Trey helps his siblings with their homework when he's home (Winter Break Calendar 2023)

Trey and his siblings would often play with fireworks together (Silk Adorned vignette)

Once, Trey took his little brother to a Spelldrive game to fulfill his Starsending wish (Starsending voicelines)

In one of his labwear voicelines, Trey says "you all remind me of my younger siblings. They're always running around and giving me a hard time.” So, it does seem that they certainly tire him out. Again, going back to book 4, chapter 3, as mentioned in Cater's part, Trey responds to Cater's request by saying he's welcome to come to his house, but his family would run him "just as ragged." (but, if he was serious about that, that would suggest that Trey knew that his parents wouldn't mind Cater coming over!) It appears that, with the patisserie family business, it can be an 'all hands on deck' kind of affair, with Trey at least helping out with running things. There's also a little mention in Ace's school uniform vignette, in which Trey says that he's used to carrying heavy things because of shopping for ingredients for the patisserie.

Which is all rather interesting to me, really… both Trey and Cater describe their family as 'running them ragged' in some way and relying on them to do stuff, but with very different tones. For Trey, the 'older brother' instincts are so ingrained in him that he doesn't seem to think twice about it much of the time, such as we see in his school uniform vignette, in which he acts on those same instincts with his peers, Ace and Deuce, in insuring that their teeth are clean, and Deuce notes that he has that "kind older brother" vibe and has a "knack for looking after everyone." Which is interesting in that Trey doesn't really seem to be trying to volunteer for everything, and he certainly isn't trying to stand out, but he will take on everything in pursuit of keeping this ship running smoothly, all the same.

That said, he does seem to have a very positive relationship with his family! Although their busy lives might have led to a bit of a he-raised-his-siblings kind of dynamic. Trey seems to be usually very relaxed when talking about them, thinking back on the stories with a kind of fondness. We don't quite have too much to go on yet when it comes to actually deducing the personalities of his siblings as individuals, but from the general mentions, they do seem quite energetic, for sure! And perhaps, much like so much of the Heartslabyul dorm, will instinctively rely on Trey without a second thought...

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

And now, last on the Heartslabyul roster...Riddle. The ever-infamous family of Riddle. A lot of what we know comes from Book 1 of the main story: he's an only child, and both of his parents are medical mages—famous ones, too. Trey says that where they're from, everyone knew their names. Riddle's father is mentioned, but we hear little of his involvement in Riddle's life—the main player on this stage is his mother, who rigorously trained Riddle up to follow in her steps.

In chapter 18 of book 1, Trey first describes what it was like for Riddle: his mother mapped out his schedule to the minute, "from the moment Riddle woke up to when his head hit the pillow at the end of the night," and in the flashback sequence in chapter 25, Riddle describes it in much the same way: "my day was planned, down to the minute." Riddle's mom tailor-made an education program for him and appears to have implemented it herself, and Riddle, in an effort to please his parents, followed every rule they made. He became a prodigy, mastering his signature spell by age ten.

Riddle's mom was very strict with his diet, as well—she kept to very healthy foods, limited Riddle to under 600 calories per meal, and absconded sugar entirely. And thus comes the point of conflict...in the story, Riddle, who was eight at the time, was invited by Trey and Chenya to come outside to play during his one hour of independent study time (in which he was supposed to be studying alone in his room), and then, he started playing with them in secret every day, and it became his favorite part of his day. Then, one day, Trey invites Riddle to try a tart at the patisserie, and they lose track of time...and then, Riddle's mother finds him. She was furious, both at his skipping independent study time and his eating a "mountain of sugar." And then, as mentioned in Trey's section, she goes on to lecture Trey's family for five whole hours.

In this scene with Riddle and his mom, Riddle tries hard to apologize, but she cuts him off, telling him to be quiet, and then forbidding him with playing with Trey and Chenya ever again, and also taking away his independent study time in favor of keeping closer watch on him. In Trey's dorm uniform vignette, he describes Riddle's mom as being "impossible to deal with once she flew off the handle." And so, Riddle was left to just strive to follow the rules she set down, believing that she must be right, for "she was the most accomplished mother in the city, and therefore, the most correct," and he didn't want to lose anything, not again... He also quotes her in chapter 22, saying that "a man who cannot follow rules is a man who cannot achieve anything."

In book 4, chapter 3, we see that Riddle is feeling some dread over going back home for the winter break, but he also does resolve to try to talk to his mother, not that he's confident she will listen. We don't have any mention of how that talk actually went.

Interestingly enough, we don't seem to have that many mentions from Riddle about his family outside of the main story in his voicelines and vignettes, compared to some of the others. He does talk some about his upbringing in his birthday boy vignette: his parents both raised him to take up the mantle and be a medical mage like them one day, which he describes as being a "highly demanding profession." He said that they would tell him over and over "When you grow up, you'll be just like us, Riddle!" Before NRC, Riddle never questioned this path for him, but now, he says that he has developed some interest in law, so he may actually pursue that instead.

In one of his suitor suit voicelines, Riddle mentions that wearing this makes him think of the parties he used to attend with his parents. He also gives a mention in his halloween vignette that his mother taught him social dancing, so it seems like the three of them did go to formal social functions from time to time.

He also mentions his parents in another suitor suit voiceline, talking about how he reads that the Queen of Hearts had an amicable marriage, and he wishes he could share that secret to his parents, which would suggest that their marriage is not doing that great, actually.

Anyhow, social functions aside, it seems like Riddle probably has not had any "real" vacations with his family, or just fun gatherings/outings in general. In one of his Masquerade voicelines, he says "I'm not very accustomed to festivals...especially not ones in other countries. It's difficult to know how to participate and have fun.” And this comes up a lot, it seems, in the 'Lost in the Book' Stitch event, where Riddle is quite unfamiliar with the concept of a vacation at the beach. In one of his beachwear voicelines, he says “Having dinner with everyone while gazing at a sunset on the beach like this… This must be what it means to go on vacation. This is the first time I’ve experienced anything like this.” (Mystery Shop's translation)

In book 6, we get another brief mention of Riddle's mother: upon being invited by Ortho and Idia to play video games to pass the time, Riddle says that his mother told him that video games are "addictive and can hurt academic performance." They had neither a gaming console nor a TV at home. Riddle hasn't read much, if any, fiction aside from classic literature either, from the looks of it. It comes up in the second Halloween event, Spectral Soiree: Ruggie and Ortho, whom Riddle is traveling with, get excited over the prospect of this being like a treasure hunt, with so many tropes coming to life, and they quickly find out that Riddle is wholly unfamiliar with what they are talking about. He says that he has "no exposure" to comic books and video games like the rest of them.

He then goes on to say that he is missing out on absolutely nothing, has read many things, and was reading medical dictionaries by the time he was "Ortho's age." Whether that Ortho's real or perceived age is unclear, as literally, he might be about six? I think Idia finished building him when he was twelve? But Riddle may not know that—obviously, Ortho being what he is gives him a great kickstart in mental development, besides being given memories of the original Ortho, so as far as perceived age goes, he's akin to the freshmen. But saying all that to say! I also wouldn't be surprised if Riddle really was being handed a medical dictionary at age six, honestly.

So, in a general sense, you could conclude that Riddle has a great unfamiliarity with the concept of "fun," which gives a bit of a picture as to his parents and his mother specifically. It was as if everything had to have some sense of necessity; it wasn't enough for something to just be enjoyable. Riddle was put to a strict standard of performance, and in turn, he expects the same of others, in a way he seems to have to take some effort to unlearn. In his dorm vignette, for instance, we see him helping Cater, who was struggling in his practical magic class, with his studying. At first, he makes this insanely long study guide (300 pages), and he gets annoyed when Cater says that this is far too much for him to read, because this is exactly what he is used to doing, thinking that if you don't want to do something, you should just force yourself to (which I imagine is the philosophy his own childhood education took). But then, after a talk with Trey, he realizes that he can't expect everyone to learn like he does, so instead, he makes a plan to teach Cater through pictures and Magicam hashtags so that he could remember them, and it works! And then he goes right back to giving Cater a bunch of textbooks at the end, but hey, it's a start :)

That said, Riddle's development is easily a whole essay on its own! The takeaway here with his parents is that both of them put a lot of expectations on him and are probably very success-driven themselves. In a way, it 'worked' for them, because they are very successful and famous, but their general happiness may be another story. Again, we get little of Riddle's dad specifically except that his relationship with his mom is not great, but with his mom, we get the impression that she is just...very high-strung and obsessive? Her rigorous training of Riddle goes beyond just wanting him to have a good education—she obsesses over his progress in a way that seems to invoke that if anything goes in a way other than what she envisions, Riddle would be hopelessly failed. It's "care" in the worst kind of way... I think that she really does believe that everything she does is for him and his wellbeing, but doing things like that, it becomes a whole lot about herself too, I'd think. Riddle is an extension of her, and therefore, he must be perfect. We know little of what she is like outside of her relationship with Riddle, but it doesn't seem hard to believe that she would have some measure of that strictness and my-way-is-the-only-way attitude with everyone else in her life, although it may be comparatively muted, as it is with some people who will treat their children with a special kind of possessiveness, even if only subconsciously. I do wonder if anyone else ever got the equivalent of the five-hour tirade she gave to the Clover family, but of course, that's all speculation. The silver lining is that it didn't work for Riddle like she wanted it to...he's still his own person, and after he finally came to the point of admitting, at the end of book 1, that he was wrong, and that by extension, the things his mother did to him were wrong (although not so outright), he has become in a better position to grow and move on, although unfortunately, he still has to go back home at the end of the day, and his mom has not changed. It could be a difficult road for a long time yet... but still, I like to think that Riddle is on a better path now, and that, if he ever does become a parent one day, he'll be a better one than his own parents were.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Riz Gukgak Season 1 Playlist Breakdown

Yeah so I really quickly posted my Character playlists to get them out there asap but god I put sooooo much thought into them and I love them so much so I want to talk about each song so you can take a peek into my brain and see what the worms have been cooking. I'll make like a masterlist with links and stuff once I get more out but yeah this one's going first because I decided to go table order right to left.

For all my playlists I choose songs based on a bunch of criteria which is but is not limited to :

vibe

whether I think the character would like the song/artist

whether I can picture the song playing in the background

If the lyrics match up to a specific scene or feeling

if, when put together the general character arc can be reflected in the playlist

if the songs cohesively go together (i.e. similar vibes, genres, themes)

For Riz, the playlist consists of a mix of Alt Rock, 80s/90s, Math Rock, and Punk/Grunge. Here's the playlist if you haven't listened to it

Without further ado... Lets get into it

1. Happy to Hide, Pile of Love

Smiling between my teeth Acting up accordingly Why do I waste my time performing? I don't see the comedy you see In all the scenes involving me As if I wasn't dull and boring I'm happy to hide I'm happy to leave with no goodbye Would you believe me if I said I couldn't cry?

I wanted to start with the classic early 2000s "I'm a nerd in high school" movie song. I can picture this at the start of a movie starring Riz, where he gets to school and gives out his business cards, and it's Not Working, and he doesn't understand why. I also love the way that being "happy to hide" works with his rogue class :)

2. We Are Detectives, Thompson Twins

Someone is on our tail We think they're openin' up our mornin' mail (Whoa) And now each time the telephone rings We think of frightening things We are detective We are selective We are detective Come to collect

This song is so fun and so camp, very 80s alt, I think Riz would love it. I also think it kind of shows how while Riz is definitely extremely serious about the Missing Maiden Case, he is also playing out one of his biggest fantasies and is a high schooler snooping around corners.

3. Daysleeper, R.E.M.

I see today with a newsprint fray My night is colored headache gray Don't wake me with so much The ocean machine is set to nine I'll squeeze into heaven and Valentine My bed is pulling me, gravity Daysleeper

We love our insomniac little guy

4. Cops and Robbers, The Hoosiers

Got your revolution, now you're waging war again Marching on the spot when you should have made amends You say you fight for us, cross your heart and hope to die You're a bully in the playground and we'll hang you out to dry Blame Simon 'cause he said You've got two lives down and one life left Blame Simon 'cause he said You could think better with a hole in your head

Listening to The Hoosiers brings me back to my high school days. This song for me really gets at the change in tone that the "mystery" goes through, specifically with Riz and his relationship with Biz Glitterdew. The way the song kind of starts out as a fun kitchy romp and then devolves into a screeching violent swirl really shows how out of everyone, even though Riz was probably the closest with Biz at the start, he was definitly the one ready and willing to hold him violently accountable for his actions. Riz shows you how to deal with violent incels.

5. Big Sea, Crash Of Rhinos

We'll stand trial, our will won't be broken Your mistake is not that you care, it's that you don't notice Our favorite part is not how this ends It's just how its starts And just that it starts I'll paint you from my memory

I do think that Riz would absolutely love math rock and I do not mind going to jail for that opinion (because every guy that I've met that likes math rock has been proven to be not great - but I'm holding out). Either way, do you guys remember how they literally were in jail for months. Like Riz "son of a cop (at the time)" "The Ball" Gukgak spent several months in jail not being able to do anything but ruminate on the case, what he could have done differently, and what could be happening without them present. Yikes.

6. Black Dragon Fighting Society, My Chemical Romance

Yeah, I drink juice when I'm killing 'cause it's fucking delicious ... Switing out my style bring a friend out with Better grab your soul from the fingers of death I got a medical emergency A medical emergency We got a medical emergency A medical emergency (Mayday, they call the shots, yeah)

This is the type of song that you play during a full throttle drag out feral goblin fight, and its' the song that Riz deserves to end the season with, since he and his mom ate the fucking dragon that killed his dad. Hell yeah.

[cellu-lightreading]

Uncle Mac's Thanksgiving Glow

“I can’t believe Uncle Mac is making you all work on Thanksgiving night!”

“Maybe I wouldn’t believe it if it wasn’t the busiest day of the year, but it’s not a bad way to spend the holiday. It’s like getting to be with a bunch of families instead.”  The twang in Ben’s voice helped to hide the mix of emotions over the phone. Days like this it was impossible to not think about his family, even after all these years. His parents decided they didn’t want anything to do with him anymore once he came out, and he’s been making a new life for himself ever since. He can’t help but picture being back at that dinner table on Thanksgiving night with his cousins but being at the diner really did help to help the wound. He was grateful for the real love in his life. 

Ben and Lance had a new Thanksgiving tradition of hanging out with this father-son duo who found the restaurant some years ago looking for someone to cook them something special for Turkey Day. The story was sweet, and the dad- Whit- always started his tellings saying “I wish you all could have met my Sarah. She was an excellent cook. Food was her love language, the same way it’s all yours.”

Lance wonders sometimes if it was exactly the same as two feeders, but the results are pretty damning. Whit was big like a parade balloon when we first met him. His weight was in the mid 300s, and he carried most of it in a round gut that walked into every room before the rest of him. She also seems to have completely beat out any impulse of picking food beyond whatever sounds good and filling (and probably fattening). On the other hand, when you look at his son Walter, it’s clear that Sarah was good about keeping her boys fed. He was a puffy guy who had a magnetic attraction to anything sweet. He was noticeably smaller than his dad though; his weight was probably still in the 200s. 

Whit and Walter started coming to Uncle Mac’s their first Thanksgiving without Sara. They said they wanted a homely holiday with all their favorite traditional foods: mashed potatoes, stuffing, and tons of gravy. They enjoyed watching regulars file in on the holiday, watching them hug on their way too and from dinner with their families. Friends crowding around the TV screen for football. The waiters treated them with all the care and love in the world. Most importantly: everyone loved their food. Whit liked hearing all the customers with their Thanksgiving plans. 

“This year we have to go to have dinner with the in-laws and the food is always brutal. It’s always some fad health food that their trainers told them will be good for them. The stuff isn’t meant for human consumption, I tell you. It’s disgusting. Might as well sneak out for a real meal so I won’t be hangry like I was last year.”

“My wife has me on a diet right now, and apparently she was serious about not letting me cheat for Thanksgiving because she had something about every morsel of food on my plate. I shouldn’t be eating this, that’s too much, don’t over do it. Like damn, this is the one day on the calendar where it is okay to over do it a little.” 

The men of Uncle Mac’s reminded them of all the joy that Sarah served them with their food, and now there was a place that appreciated fat men like them. 

After spending an evening at Uncle Mac’s, food became an emotional touchpoint for Whit and Walter. It brought back memories of happy times and made new happy ones. Food was like a constant source of warm fuzzy happy memories that they could press over and over again. And without the guided hand and home cooking of Sarah, the boys were okay with eating anything. Gone were the feasts with balanced meals and in came all the trash they could possibly want. Stacks of pizza boxes, platters of ribs, and quesadillas and burritos wrapped in aluminum foil. Delivery and take out became their best friends.  It didn’t take them long until they were regulars at all their favorite restaurants, and the cashiers knew their names. 

They’re having fun. For the first time since Sarah’s death, they are having a good time. If food is what brings them together, then so be it. Whit loved bringing home giant bags of burgers if it means getting to see his boy smile. Walter liked encouraging his dad to have a big dessert as a midnight snack before bed. Neither of them ever take the bold step of shooting down a food idea. An extra couple boxes of wings with their pizza? Why not? A stop for ice cream on the way from the grocery store? Sounds good. 

But after a while, these aren’t treats anymore. It’s the new normal. Walter and Whit systematically eroded their willpower until food was their focus all the time. They never said no. Walter bought something every time he passed a food court or a vending machine on campus. Whit was always eating the snacks in the break room. 

Day after day, week after week, the calories went in and they didn’t disappear. Whit and Walter’s chunk frames started packing on pounds at breakneck speed. The waiters at Uncle Mac’s are experts at seeing guys get big; their estimates said they were gaining somewhere around 15 pounds a month. They were spiraling out of control, faster than they could even register. It seemed that every time they stopped by, they were always squeezed into shirts that couldn’t cover their whole belly and pants tight enough to outline the rolls inside their upper thighs. Raul thought it was cute that they still tried to squeeze themselves into the normal sized booths even though they could only fit if they sat on the same side and pushed the table back.  

When the coats came off in the spring and they saw just how much rounder they had become from months of binging, the waiters at Uncle Mac’s were in  a dilemma. It was obvious that no one was willing to be honest to Whit and Walter about just how much they had grown. They theorized that their friends were apprehensive to tell them how fragile they were emotionally right now. After all, the most important woman in their lives had died just a few months ago, who were they to say ‘move on with your lives and put down the fork, you’re comfort eating yourselves into immobility’?” According to their inside straw poll, not them. The vote came out five votes to four, so they all agreed to keep their mouths shut.

Lucky for the losing side of the argument, reality finally crashed through by the next time they came in a couple months later. Someone was doing a presentation in one of Walter’s classes and they had to use a different room for the day. Unlike the sturdy industrial metal ones he was used to, these were cheap plastic with attached armrests and desks. It was still wider than a lot of other chairs with armrests, so Walter thought he stood a good chance of being able to squeeze in. He leaned back to drop his body into the cup of the chair and got stuck. Really what happened is his love handles were too wide to slide into the chair. Thinking it had just been a fluke, Walter tried to push on the creaking chair to let him settle in. He was closer, but nowhere near the bottom. The creaking of the chair got louder. Walter slowly slid down and the plastic around his ass was starting to bend and warp. Snap! Walter looked down and a big new hole appeared. Snap! Snap! Snap! Now there’s multiple holes and one of the armrests and has almost entirely popped off. Crackle! Pop! Thud! The force of Walter falling to the floor shook the whole classroom from the chairs to the walls. All of the eyes in the room began to focus on him. The window of the door was filled with people peering in to find the source of the thunderous vibration. 

When Walter came home and told his dad, the older man couldn’t help but feel bad as he searched for the scale. How could he have let things get like this? He looked down at his own body and thought about how lucky he had been to not have to go through something just as embarrassing. The yoga ball sized gut that sat in his lap all day was growing just like the pillows around his arms and moobs that kept him from ever putting them down at his size. Whit slid out the scale and let Walter step on. After a few tense seconds and a brief struggle to see the result past their billowing bellies, Walter read out:

“Error. Guess we’ve outgrown this old thing too, huh, Dad?” 

Whit nodded in response. “Yeah, I think this has a capacity of around 300, so we’re going to need something pretty serious to replace it.”

So they went into the supermarket and stood on the industrial scales before the crowd bustling around them. The dial was big enough for them to see with ease and big enough for anyone passing by to get a glimpse of the number too. Walter stepped on the scale and the needle went flying into the 300s, landing squarely at 376. Whit took a deep breath before taking his turn. The number couldn’t be any worse than the feeling of the weight on his chest when he lays on his chest, he reasoned. The step onto the platform revealed the number: 487. Just one good meal short of 500.

“Walter, I’m so sorry. I’m supposed to be the one taking care of us and now look at us.”

“But Dad, you did take care of me. So maybe we’re not fitness models, but I’m okay. You kept joy in my life when it wasn’t a guarantee at all. If you don’t believe me, then we’ll have to go somewhere people really know us so they can tell you.”

Walter brought his dad to Uncle Mac’s and explained the whole situation. The waiters were frankly relieved to be able to talk out the guys’ weight freely. Now they could offer actually useful advice.

“There is nothing wrong to look for something comforting in the aftermath of a traumatic event like the love of your life dying. Unhealthy would be picking up drinking or crime or trying to suppress the emotions until they explode.” Taylor explained as he took their order and added an extra appetizer to the order. 

“And there’s nothing wrong with getting big and being fat. We happen to like guys that way, and we’re not the only ones.” Lance said as he dropped off their food. 

“The real problem,” Ben insisted as he passed out dessert, “is that you lived in denial for such a long time and tried to pretend you were just the same as stick thin guys. You need to live fat guy lives. You need to get clothes that fit and stop trying to sit in flimsy chairs. Listen to Raul and stop trying to squeeze in between things like your ass can’t knock things over before you know it exists. Even if you tried dieting, which I don’t think will work that well but let’s assume, you won’t be thin tomorrow. You still have to live in the giant bodies you have right now. You might as well get used to it. You’re fat guys who enjoy their food, live it up.”

Whit wasn’t entirely sure he trusted the guys at Uncle Mac’s first, but he decided to give it a try. He started small by buying a seat belt extender for his car (because it had been a long time since he got that to buckle). Then he tried using two chairs to support his weight and avoiding plastic seats. When he went a full week without hearing something creak under him, he was convinced. He invested in buying new big and tall furniture for his house, rearrange everything to get rid of the narrow corners, he even switched out his belts at work for suspenders and found out that he was a lot more comfortable and ate more when he didn’t have a belt digging into him all the time. With just a couple alterations, Whit has turned the house into a haven for the two fat boys who call it home. 

Cool air and the smell of stuffing rolled around again just three months later. Thanksgiving reappeared and the waiters were looking to see all their favorite faces. When Walter and Whit waddled in, Raul gasped. It was the kind of transformation that gainers could never get on purpose. They were gigantic. Their faces had gotten so inflated, they almost looked like different people. And when they ate, it was like they had unlocked different people. Gone were the timid guys who casually worked through half a chicken as a snack. Now they mowed through the food like true pigs. If something managed to spill out their mouth, they were coming behind it with a piece of bread and licking their fingers. They couldn’t get enough no matter how much they order.

Ben and Lance looked on as they observed what had become of the timid two who had walked in the year before looking for a little TLC. When Whit popped a button off of his shirt, a wide small spread across Walter’s face and that was the moment they knew. Walter was beaming with pride watching his dad get so big. Whit smiled back at his son. These were two more of Uncle Mac’s pigs, forever changed. 

Two Thanksgivings later, Walter and Whit were waddling through the door once again with bright smiles on their faces. They said hello to everyone they saw, now knowing the names of so many of the other regulars. As happy as they were, the sweat forming on their brow in the cool November air was proof that the distance from their car was not such a casual trip anymore. A space on the benches in the waiting area appeared for the pair of them.

Walter is now one of the biggest guys in the whole restaurant, and people treated him like the massive superchub he was. It’s an impressive feat to cross the 600 pound mark before the age of 23. The only reason he seemed to stick in some people’s minds as smaller than he actually was, was because he always came in with his dad. Whit is so big now, every step seems like a triumph. Immobility is knocking on the door all the time and there’s no telling when it will come. He still wouldn’t miss being at the diner though. 

Lance and Ben took care of their old friends and let them chow down as the food came out. Their orders were too big to fit on the table anyway, so at least this way they have time to sit and chat while they eat. 

“I can’t believe you wake up every morning and still drag your 750 pound body into work everyday. That’s dedication.” Lance said. 

“Well I like what I do, and besides how else are we going to keep food on the table if folks don’t go to work?” Whit responded. 

“This is his coded way of saying that he doesn’t want me at home taking care of him,” Walter said. 

“What do I need him home for? He’s not that much better than me at being able to pick things up off the ground or walking long or medium distances. He’s a young guy who has better things to do than hang around his old man like start his career.” Whit explained. Ben couldn’t help but chuckle. “Ben, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. Would your dad put your life on pause like that?”

Ben’s eyes opened wide. “Oh I wouldn’t trust my dad’s opinion on anything.”

“He raised you. He must have done a decent job somewhere along the way. I bet he’s proud to have a son like you walking around.”

“My dad cut me out of his life some years ago. I haven’t heard from my family in forever.”

Whit cupped Ben’s face in his hand and said, “Well know that I’m so very proud of you. I’m glad to have you as my family. I know you’re busy at work, but know you’d always be welcome at our table for Thanksgiving.”

“Thank you.”

“Any time son. Now be a good boy and get your folks a glass of the sweet potato pie milkshake,” Whit said.

Ben laughed and said, “Yes sir. Comin’ right up.”