#but prescribing me a bunch of hormones

[canichangemyblogname]

You wanna know what I just found out???

So, as a child, I was diagnosed with failure to thrive. I was eating too little from a combo of factors: food intolerances, chronic illness, and my parents used access to food as punishment. (How I didn't develop an ED is beyond me.) My height and weight measurements were too low, and I was falling behind. Looking back at those childhood photos and seeing my dark circles and sunken cheeks, I look as malnourished as I was.

I was also doing quite poorly in school. Very tired and unable to pay attention. I already had ADHD. Now add hunger on top of that. I had "behavior" issues (very disruptive in class). I had poor hand-eye coordination (I sucked at sports).

Apparently, my pediatrician offered to prescribe me several different hormones to prompt my growth and "normal" female development for my age. They were willing to freely give me shit like growth hormones at 10-11 yrs old-- without a psychological evaluation and without any bureaucratic loopholes to jump through and without the threat of CPS and without any insurance disputes-- so that I'd develop as a little girl "should."

My mother decided "no" because she was happy to have a child who was "just like her" (she was a "late bloomer," as she called it, and very short and "petite" as a young woman) and who she could then "relate to."

[brooke2valley]

So like, how does being trans work anyhow? I’ve tried to research stuff myself (by googling like fifty different things) but I still have like no idea what happens??? Like I’ve heard about HRT but I have no clue how someone would go about that?

Asking cuz I read your comics a bunch and your parents remind me of my parents

Your question seems confused so I'm gonna section off what I'm seeing.

1) being trans is identifying with a gender one was not assigned at birth. If you're AMAB (assigned male at birth) for instance, identifying as a woman or non-binary, etc would make you transgender.

2) transitioning is the process by which someone changes physical and/or social characteristics about themselves to better align with their gender identity. The ways to go about this range a lot- HRT (hormone replacement therapy), laser hair removal, clothing choices, haircuts, new names, and any number of treatments related are included.

3) The way you go about acquiring HRT is going to depend on your age, location, access to insurance, and access to healthcare. In medical establishments, there's 2 main ways its acquired

1. Informed consent - the doctor explains the risks and expectations and you consent to receiving the medication(s).

2. Diagnosis care - a therapist finds you experience gender dysphoria and believes you to be transgender and writes you a letter in order for your doctor to prescribe HRT.

You'll need to research your country and/or local area for what's legal and available.

There's a 3rd option, which is DIY, but it's usually considered a last option due to the involvement one needs to have in order to do it safely.

That's not even going into social transition, which may consist of changing your name, establishing pronouns that align with your identity, sharing your gender identity, etc

Anyways, i hope this answers all your questions and helps you out!

[barachiki]

I had a panic attack today about a burrito.

It started yesterday when my wife suggested we grab some on the way home. We went to a new place so we didn’t have to cross the highway. I order, then my wife orders half the toppings on hers before checking for cilantro, which she has an allergy. (We usually go to a cilantro free place so it was just a mistake). And of course there is some in the rice, and she panicked because the staff member looks like he was about to panic as well, so I say how about I just have that one for lunch tomorrow and she can start over.

Fine. Good. Three burritos are purchased, one goes in the fridge. Only I was in meetings all day and didn’t get a lunch, so I mention casually that I have to have this extra burrito for dinner tonight because it won’t be good for lunch after another day.

Then it started. This wave of pressure, guilt and fear washes over me. I felt like I was going to die. This feeling of impending doom because I had my dinner planned and my wife would have to fend for herself.

Now, rational me knows that my wife is a grown-ass woman who can cook her own fucking dinner. But panic attack me thought of this as a wholly selfish thing to do. So I get up and go to make her something. Not for her sake at this point, but to make the anxiety I’m feeling go away. I get a few ingredients together, but the pan I wanted to use was in the dishwasher. I begin to cry at this point. I lay on the sofa shaking.

This is when my wife comes in from outside, unaware of the situation. I’m in tears, the kitchen is a disaster and I am babbling through the snot and crying about a stupid burrito.

She calmed me down a bit by talking to me, brings me my anxiety meds and we sit together til I am a bit more relaxed. I take some breaths and am eventually a bit better. She makes herself some food and I get the burrito. It wasn’t very good, and honestly, I had to throw half of it away because it wasn’t sitting well in me.

The thing here is, any of a number of things could have caused that panic attack. I got two and a half hours sleep last night. I am on some new meds that are affecting my hormones. I didn’t eat all day. I’m still recovering from being extremely ill. All of the above. But that just made everything feel so much worse because I felt so broken.

It was never about the burrito.

Writing this out now gives me an interesting perspective at it. Since now I am calm, I have my pyjamas on, I am in bed early, and I will put on a show or something to relax. But remembering those few minutes when I was feeling genuinely irrationally obsessed with a burrito is a reminder that I am struggling, and sometimes these struggles can come to a head and make me do (dare I say) crazy things.

I am bipolar, I have generalized anxiety disorder. And I have been medicated for my entire adult life. My doctor is new to managing my mental health meds because of some crap I don’t want to talk about. He wants me to take away some of the meds I am on, but increase the dose on the ones that work. I have been bumping into side effects and walls where I can’t even take cough syrup let alone prescribed meds without jumping head first with a drug interaction. So let’s clean up my meds.

It is hard to do. And my unbalanced self is poking through at my weak moments. I had a bunch of weak moments today and it culminated in this bit of mania and chunk of anxiety that makes me feel insane.

But here I am, an hour later, in my pyjamas and typing this into tumblr, seeing clearly that the burrito doesn’t matter.

I wish I could see this clearly all the time.

I think I will make an appointment with my shrink soon.

[mezmer]

Here I will explain why my blog banner describes me as an anti sugar activist. I try to be as "scientific" as my brain and heart allow, but I value my experience over scientific studies even if they support my view, huge ridiculous autist sugar post incoming

Sugar is highly addictive for most people. The problem is way more dire than we act like it is. Added to foods you wouldn't even think to include sugar. The link between sugar and obesity, endocrine disruption, general inflammation and malaise, disease, diabetes, your teeth rotting out, and even cancer, is undeniable no matter what articles or studies you try to dig up. not many people want to admit how bad it is. People who enjoy sugar, who might say "you only live once! It's not like I'm shooting heroin" suffer weird problems and assume it's something else. Children set up for a lifetime of failure because their parents don't pay attention to their sugar intake at all. I have a very drastic example of this I won't go into much detail about, but a set of parents close to me are feeding their daughter extreme amounts of sugar. She has a learning disability and is a very intense child. I've hinted at the sugar link and everyone is in denial.

I have baby sat this child and gotten her to eat organic wheat bread PB and J with a no sugar added, all fruit jam.. happily told her parents who did not care at all. It was such a feat to me. Everyone knows a picky child. It's worse than you think. This is a gateway drug and I'm totally serious. I said I would not go into great detail... I too was raised on welch's fruit snacks, "pancake syrup", sprite, Kool aid, and worst of all I was allowed to put as much sugar that I wanted into my tea. My parents were wonderful, they just didn't think or know how bad it was to do this

I've struggled with a sugar addiction before and since getting clean from drugs and seen the effects of it firsthand. The most obvious to be seen from the outside that I can make people believe is my struggle with acne. We know bacteria feeds off of sugar. This is why people who drink sugary drinks are at risk for UTIs. If bacteria enters their bladder, sugar makes it grow. Well no amount of washing my face, bentonite clay masks, washing my pillow cases, wearing a bonnet, would make the acne go away. Recently I tried to only eat a certain pint of ice cream thinking less sugar would help. It didn't and I'm over two weeks off of all sugar that isn't naturally occuring in honey and fruit. Crazy how natural sugar does not feed the bacteria and hormonal disruption. I've been in this cycle more than once. Not only does the acne go away, my face appears radiant every time. Breakouts as soon as I relapse. Maybe you are thinking, this is a bunch of hogwash and I eat little cakes often without a problem. That's fine. I know addicts who have used meth for 30 years and you wouldnt wonder much about them. Smokers who lived to 80. Sugar doesn't do me any good at all.

Neither my mom, who was just put on a medication with awful side effects because she is developing diabetes. Her doctor (doctor she's had for decades who is a total piece of garbage and prescribes dangerous cocktails of conflicting medications !! That's a whole other post!!!! Put my grandma on pills which nearly killed her! Plus other people HAHAHA) saw her coming up with high blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol without thinking to suggest a diet change first. My mom is overweight and likes to eat sweets. My mom told me, I can still eat sweets, I just have to eat less. I did tell her that didn't work for me. I quit because I don't want to end up sick this way. Diabetes runs in our family. The prescription is making my mom nauseous and dizzy. Insane to me right?

Why aren't the dangers of sugar recognized? Why am I the only advocate I know? I would shut the fuck up if the dangers were believed by more people. Is it Because Sugar Taste good? Not seen as a vice. We accept that corn syrup is not so good. Canola oil pretty bad. Dyes in food causing children to develop ADHD and autism, or whatever. Is there no risk in consuming sugar? Many health professionals don't want to admit it? I feel strongly. I feel sick when I eat sugar but I can't find myself able to stop unless I truly try. We are all convinced that it's just a danger to your teeth if you don't brush enough. MIL is a sugar addict who buys birthday cakes on clearance and clears the whole cake in a few days, a twice daily flosser and brusher, who has lost over half of her teeth to extractions, sees the link, and has no intention to quit.

Finally, I bake yummy dessert recipes excluding half the sugar while using honey, maple syrup, brown sugar for what is left (which is slightly better than white sugar from my understanding) and I have never made a baked good that is ruined by doing this. You can't even tell that I've excluded sugar and the foods have more flavor because sugar doesn't overpower the dish. They don't make your teeth hurt. You can eat more cookies because there is less sugar and they taste better. The texture is the same. Bakers will tell you this isn't true and you need to use the whole amount of sugar so the cookies and cakes arent ruined. Yes, you need torched sugar on creme brulee. Fine.

Do you ever find yourself scraping icing off of a cake? I have baked more than one birthday cake for loved ones excluding sugar and adding natural alternatives (NOT stevia or monkfruit which taste like shit and suck) and ive gotten nothing but compliments. My brown sugar maple cake with cream cheese icing using very little sugar was a hit for my partners birthday that everyone probably ate too much of. This isn't a brag, it's an idea for anyone who bakes to try and change your recipes. It hasn't failed for me. Ok SOrry

[rivetgoth]

i just got top surgery, if you can could you tell me about the whole process for you? i dont have any specific questions i need answered

Omg congrats on your surgery first of all!!

And sure!

I’m not sure which specific part of the process you’re curious about but I’m gonna focus on aftercare and recovery since I assume that would be your main focus right now.

I got double incision with free nipple grafts and drains. The moment I saw my chest for the first time I just remember feeling this sort of contentment and relief. Like “Oh, this is how it’s supposed to look.” The hospital I went to required patients to stay overnight so my first ~24 hours post-op were in a hospital bed hooked up to IV. I’m extremely grateful for this because by coincidence (the overnight stay was already planned in advance) I had a bad reaction to the anesthetic. I was entirely safe, nothing scary, but it causes me severe nausea and exhaustion and I didn’t feel loopy at all, just absolutely awful. I didn’t really sleep at all that night, I lay there falling asleep in weird short intervals, waking up, needing to pee, then stumbling back to bed. At one point I walked into the bathroom and it was covered in blood. I was so drugged out of my mind that I couldn’t really process it, it felt like I was dreaming.

After that the healing process was pretty easy though. I was prescribed antibiotics for like 10 days, oxycodone for half that time, and some really strong ibuprofen. They also gave me one of those anti-nausea patches on the back of my neck. I struggled with a bunch of nausea for the first day after getting out of the hospital but never threw up. I was pretty functional right away. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this but within the first 48 hours out of the hospital I was walking a few blocks to the closest grocery store and carrying groceries back. Felt like shit but survivable. About 4 days post-op I took a train 4-5 hours north to see family on my own then was in a car for another 4ish hours back home a couple days later. Just took a shitload of oxycodone and ibuprofen and played video games and listened to music the whole way, totally survivable. So it really wasn’t all that bad.

About 3 weeks post-op I went back to school and work. At the time I was on a pretty walking-heavy campus with tons of hills. I applied for short term disability just in case I had trouble carrying my textbooks around or walking up hills or something but tbh I never needed to utilize it, it was fine. I was super tired but fully functional. So overall I’d say recovery was pretty easy. I had limited mobility for a couple of weeks, it hurt to raise my arms above my head, needed help reaching some things and showering was a bit tricky, but over time that went away.

I’d say without a doubt the worst parts of recovery were:

Not being able to shower for the first week. This absolutely fucking sucked lol. I was so greasy it’s not even funny. I would try to rinse my hair with Angel’s help over the tub and do like sponge baths basically but it was NOT the same. Definitely recommend dry shampoo (we didn’t think of it until after). 

Sleeping on my back. I am NOT naturally a back sleeper. I really struggled with this. Having a dick piercing now I’ve gotten better at it lol but at the time especially it was so incredibly difficult to sleep this way, I was already crazy uncomfortable from surgery and being greasy and tired and sore and then on top of that I could NOT get comfortable to fall asleep.

I had some weird emotional and hormonal responses to the surgery. My period returned in full force about two weeks after my surgery for the first and only time since it stopped on T. At that time I also experienced some pretty nasty post-op depression. I think it was a mixture of weird dysphoria (mostly a sort of existential frustration that I had to go through the procedure in the first place), hormonal imbalances (again, my period returning…), and just general emotional response to recovering from a surgery and frustration with the minutia of the recovery process. I just felt really, really low. Tired and tired of being tired. This passed over time, but it was not fun.

Pettier complaints: Nipple grafts suck to heal and look disgusting at first. Trust the process lol. Wearing the compression vest is kind of annoying. I was like, dude, I got this surgery so I don’t have to bind anymore! 😭 Anesthetic can (and did) cause constipation. I had to buy laxatives. None of this was unbearable but it definitely all added up and contributed to the post-op depression.

Stay hydrated, eat well, take probiotics, take vitamins and supplements, take vitamin C and zinc, a small amount of exercise/physical movement is good but don’t overdo it, get lots of rest, and listen to your surgeon’s advice. If you’re not sure, ask.

I think my biggest advice is to remember that our bodies are pretty primitive things—Injury is injury to them. You’re getting a surgery you wanted to better your life longterm, your body is purely focused on healing, and is responding to awareness of an injury. It’s hard to feel super excited about the surgery right away, you’ll be too deep in your body’s healing response to physical trauma. It’s exhausting at times and it can almost feel like your body is working against you. It’s NOT. I found undergoing top surgery (and transitioning in general) to be an amazing meditative process in aligning your brain to your body better, but that’s a process, a relationship you form through work the same as any other. You need to trust your body’s natural healing process.

Bodies are weird and healing is messy. I had weird inexplicable symptoms that I’d tell myself I’d contact my surgeon about if they persisted or worsened and they didn’t. I had UTI-like symptoms for a day that went away on their own. I had really uncomfortable weird restless leg syndrome for a night or two. One of my drains came detached from the tape holding it down and it had no negative effect. One of my nipples looked vaguely infected but my surgeon was unconcerned and it healed fine. None of this was serious, try not to worry if things seem a little odd, unless symptoms get progressively worse, show no signs of getting better, or are really, really obvious signs of infection/complication. Just listen to your body and take care of it. 

I felt comfortable going out shirtless after about… a year or so? It took about that much time for things to settle. For a few months it almost looked like I had excess skin sagging on the sides, this went away by the 12ish month mark. Nowadays I don’t do any body building but I try to do some push ups every day to keep my chest somewhat fit. 4 years in and sensation is still minimal, definitely doesn’t have the same sensitivity as the rest of my body, but it also continues to return every day! Literally to this day I notice new shooting nerve sensations growing deep in my chest now and again. A few months ago I had notable nipple sensation for the first time since the surgery. My scars are still fading, although my chest generally seems to pass for cis irl which is awesome.

I could go on and on about all the small details but I think I’ve talked your head off enough for now hahaha. I love my results and I’d do the whole process over again a thousand times if it meant having what I have now. Literally changed (and saved) my life.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Hope is Dangerous...

A machine elf woke me up this morning.

(Link has description penned by the ethno-botanist who named the phenomenon.)

Now, I have already heard of them, and I know what they're supposed to sound like, so if my half-sleeping brain wanted to produce one for me, it has instructions. Also, I'm operating on 1.5 hours of sleep right now, tops. Consciousness gets gooey under these levels of stress. Scientifically, this is a useless experience.

Nevertheless, a loud, excited, unintelligible gabble - distinct in that way from Disney-esque squirrel-speak - woke me from fitful dreams. And then the spouse came in and told me it was about time to get ready for my fateful doctor appointment.

I've had thyroid issues for at least three decades, probably born with them. My number was low (standard panels only check one, of three), they threw enough Synthroid at me to get the number into "normal range" and never gave me a diagnosis. I still had symptoms, nobody cared. They tried to treat my anxiety with antidepressants - which never worked. Because my thyroid number was "normal," you see. Of course, I was gaining weight because I didn't eat properly and exercise, even though none of the diets and exercises worked either. My thyroid number was "normal." I was just a lazy liar!

My "family doctor" (I'm lucky to have one!) "prescribed" megadoses of iodine, and sea kelp, and a ketogenic diet. I begged him to send me to an endocrinologist, almost from the first appointment. I told him the same story I've told you, plus more. Finally, my spouse accompanied me to an appointment and told him to give me the referral. He did, but I couldn't get an appointment with the thyroid specialist for months. Today was that appointment.

I have had so many doctors stop listening, glaze over, and do the minimum amount needed to get me out of the office. I've also had a bunch be very enthused about listening and helping me! Only to disengage and glaze over when it turns out the minimum amount doesn't cure me and I keep coming back asking for help. Pssht! Women! Am I right, fellas?

Today, this guy had run a full blood panel with all three numbers. For months in advance, I stopped taking all the useless supplements the "family doctor" pushed on me, to make sure the guy had an accurate result. The first thing that happened when I came to the office - a tech weighed me and checked how tall I am. THAT IS NOT A GOOD SIGN. I waited, expecting to hear, You have an unhealthy BMI, here's a diet, you need to exercise.

What I got, after some very sincere (seeming!) discussion was: "You have Hashimoto's, your immune system is attacking your thyroid, and you're probably one of the 5% of people who can't convert Synthroid to every type of thyroid hormone you need."

THIS IS HOW I SELF-DIAGNOSED YEARS AGO, BUT I NEVER GOT ANYONE TO LISTEN.

I told the doctor I'd tried Armour Thyroid, and it was wonderful, but I couldn't tolerate an effective dose. (I tried so hard to tolerate it! I split my dose, I built up to it, I worked for months, but the side effects didn't go away. It killed the anxiety I've lived with all my life. Boom! Gone! And then I had to stop taking it and, like a nightmare, over about a week, all that mental anguish came back.)

He said: "It might be the binding agent." THIS ALSO JIBED WITH MY RESEARCH! "Let's try it from a compounding pharmacy. If that doesn't work, get back in touch with me, there are more things we can try." Ha-ha, and also, bonus round: "No, don't take sea kelp, don't megadose with iodine, that can make your thyroid stop working altogether." And! "I'm going to talk to your doctor."

I AM VALID! But, I've heard that before. And when the first thing doesn't work, I lose all my traction. I am hoping so hard. Armour Thyroid did help, but if I can't tolerate it, I'm setting myself up for another Flowers for Algernon where my crippling anxiety goes away and comes right back.

Machine elves seem like they like us. The seem to have the ability to create beautiful things with words, and they're so jazzed to teach us how to do it, that they try to create this information into our heads all at once instead of slowing down to explain. I'm a writer. Broadly-speaking, that is also my jam, so I'm in favour of the little guys, real or imagined.

My dude - or genderless construct, or however you identify - if you're watching me right now, thanks for giving my reality a nudge towards something better. Now, for god's sake, keep it up!

[himikochan]

good luck with your appointment! I had my first pap a few months ago and tbh it wasn't as bad as I was afraid it would be. I hope it's the same for you

heyyo thanks beloved mutual- it went mostly okay! or maybe more clearly, the exam itself was well and fine and the folx were very respectful and gender-affirming and very Patient Concern-centric which was great

I wore my ring to help me feel more ready for this!

Vagina/Uterus-Owner Body stuff under the cut

heyyo I had my first pap smear and the actual exam went great but my friends I am so mf bloated and bleeding a little bit (which the folx at the pp said was normal) and I 100% feel like those diary entries in the 1700s that are like 🙄 "my wife spent the day abed due to her delicate feminine nature" 🙄

It's not really that it's... so bad? But it's a very different kind of bloating/cramping then I'm used to

TBH this whole exam was a wild time because I went in and they were like- normal annual check up, right? And I basically told them I'd like every exam/test my terrible insurance would cover and they were super great about it but also drew a lot of blood, did a bunch of swabs, and even gave me a prescription for a non-hormonal prophylactic diaphragm (which I'm going to talk over with my partner- I've always wanted to use a diaphragm but literally could not find a place that would prescribe one)-- I basically spent over an hour and a half with them which seems super long

also at one point I was like "hey can you look at this thing it's like a recurring pimple or something?" and they did and I was basically diagnosed with "being kind of sweaty" and they told me not to worry about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[smallswingshoes]

Hi !Thank you for being open about your pharmacy knowledge !

I have questions about Nexplanon. I have been on it for a few months, and i have had two opposites reactions. The first one is from the intern doc who prescribed it to me after i asked, who pretty much read the online description of it (lasts three years, can and will mess up periods, could stop them all completely,if i dont like it i can stop it after a month, said it was a pretty good idea if i wasnt gonna remember the pill everyday) and a bunch of people on the internet + the first midwife i asked to insert it for me who refused and sent me to another clinic bc too many of her patients had side effects. Mind you, not having my periods anymore was exactly my goal. She also told me very few medical przctionners prescribed it anymore and some were even requesting it should be put off the market.

The midwife who inserted it in my arm gave very little info, and online it seems side effects causing people to remove it are actually not that common. So whats going on ?

Weird. I don't know as much about this from a pharmacy tech pov cuz we don't dispense them in a pharmacy; they're inserted in clinical settings.

But I do have one of my own and I love it! This is my third one, I think. I actually think it's a great alternative to the depo shot cuz if you have a bad reaction to the shot, you have to just ride it out. (Happened to my mom.) Whereas with nexplanon, you can just get it taken out.

I haven't personally heard of people saying it should be taken off the market, that's new to me. I wonder if it's just because it's hormonal birth control? People can be very opinionated on birth controls in general honestly. (Probably because hormonal birth control can be such a crapshoot.)

I wanna toss this one out to the world at large for info, see if anyone else can weigh in on this.

[genderqueerdykes]

Helloo, could you explain the diffrent types of testosterone like as in androgel, sustanon, all that stuff. I'm thinking of going on sustanon but I don't see quite alot of info except for cis guys using it for bulking and im afraid it's not quite a good comparison for ftms

i am not familiar with sustanon, so i will have to do some research and return to you at a later time, as well as see if any other anons or anyone in the comments can help for the time being. also i typically tend to recommend the subreddit community r/ftm, they are great for asking questions about different forms of T since so many guys use it =)

i have personal experience with androgel, and injectable testosterone cypionate. i used injectable T subcutaneous, meaning I injected into fat/skin tissue, and not intramuscular/into muscle tissue, due to my intersex condition and natural testosterone levels. I'm not sure how commonly this method is prescribed to people, but I have always been instructed to do it this way, as I've been told it will lead to less prominent up-and-down spikes and fluctuations of hormone levels. I'm not a professional though so I can't verify as to whether or not this was just that one professional's advice, or if that's 100% accurate.

again, for me as an intersex person, I don't know how applicable that is to perisex trans people, as i know most perisex transmascs inject intramuscular. that being said, testosterone cypionate is generally the go-to, it's strong, it's effective, it's kind of what everyone pictures when they think of T. the only thing to keep in mind about injectable T is pharmacies don't always give you the correct gauges of needle. generally you want 2 different gauge of needle, one larger and thicker to draw the T from the vial and a smaller thinner one for injecting, but pharmacies are really bad at giving you both, and giving you the correct gauges of both. this is easily the biggest pain with injectable T. if you have needle trauma or just don't want to have very strong spikes of testosterone and very strong drops in your hormone levels leading up to injection day, a gentler option is topical.

i've personally used androgel and i really like it, that's actually what i'm using right now, as i've been injecting for 7 years and my doctor wanted me to move away from that to avoid potential tissue damage from years and years of poking my skin. i really like androgel, although for some people it is less effective. if you have very low natural testosterone, or, your body is just poorly receptive to the hormone and doesn't take to it easy, it make struggle to benefit as much from topical testosterone, however nothing is stopping you from asking your clinician to try the topical T at a slightly higher dose to see if you just need a boost when using it transdermally. your dose isn't going to be the same on an injectable format as it is on a transdermal format

i get a generic version of androgel that comes in a bunch of pre-measured tubes so i don't have to measure anything out. i just apply 1 tube two days a week. i find that super handy as measuring my dose with injectable T was sometimes time consuming, especially if the pharmacy gave me the wrong gauge of needle, which they did often. my only complaint is that it's an alcohol based gel, so it smells very strongly when applying it. it literally just smells like rubbing alcohol, which doesn't sound bad, but it smells like about 1 gallon of it at once. that's hyperbole of course but it's just very concetrated smelling. the two areas they suggest applying it are on your abdomen (belly) and on the outside of your biceps (between shoulder and elbow). you can pick what works for you, i typically tend to do it as far away from my face as possible so i'm not dying from the smell but some of my alters put it on our arm because they're too lazy to put it under our shirt so (shrug)

always wash your hands directly after using topical T because you can in fact transfer testosterone to other people by touching them. you're not going to cause them to transition but it's just important to wash your hands to make sure you're not getting it on anyone else. it's recommended to avoid showering or getting into a pool or getting wet or anything for at least 45 minutes, i'd wait at least an hour or more if you can, just to make sure you're getting the most out of it you possibly can. it does leave a residue on your skin, but i notice it's more annoying on your hands than anywhere else. i think some people probably use a glove to apply it but i am broke as hell rn and don't

that's about all i can think of at the moment, anyone else please feel free to weigh in about any other kinds of testosterone or to throw in anything else i missed, like i said, these are the only two forms i have direct experience with. hope this helped some!

[moons-booknook]

some of the stuff about hormone deficiencies/irregularities don’t really make sense to me

why is PCOS (poly CYSTIC ovarian syndrome) called that when you don’t have to even have cysts to be diagnosed with the disorder? high testosterone levels don’t CAUSE cysts, so the only logical explanation is that the cysts are what causes the testosterone levels (lowering of estrogen developed from the ovaries).

but if it’s not caused by cysts, then why would it be associated with that condition? those are two different things, since the causation is NOT THE SAME??!!!,!:!;$;$

pcos isn’t even the only CONDITION that causes high testosterone in females. i was diagnosed with pcos and was prescribed birth control, and was blamed for my diet, but i was just recently diagnosed with hashimotos, which is an autoimmune thyroid disease that LITERALLY CAUSES HIGH TESTOSTERONE LEVELS IN FEMALES!!!!!!!

another reason is literally just being intersex. like nothing else you’re just LIKE THAT. i’m fucking going insane. a bunch of shit in the medical field is understudied and misunderstood and i’m here like “HEY i don’t have a medical license and im not making any conspiracy that doesn’t make sense im just talking about facts and the facts lead to this thing being wrong!!!” and no one will listen because im not liable and there’s too many weird people i just want to help

anyway i think they should stop immediately prescribing birth control to people with no further research into what’s going on with the patient that’s kinda fucked up considering how fucking damaging they can be. some people just have different levels and it doesn’t affect them health wise. fucking god.

[humanransome-note]

There’s a lot of resentment I have toward my mother that has nowhere to go because it’s not her fault that my precocious puberty wasn’t treated. Not really. My pediatrician mentioned it but his tone was so “meh…” that she didn’t think about it. And he never prescribed anything or sent me to a specialist

I have severe body dysmorphia, there are times where looking at myself makes me almost physically ill.

my bones have the wear and tear of someone about ten years older, and there’s a strong likelihood that I’ll be pre, if not properly arthritic by the time I’m 35.

I have a bunch of medical related psych trauma from being fat my whole life, and while there no way to prove that had I been treated I’d have had an easier time with weight management, the fact of the matter is my body was sending the signals necessary for puberty without the appropriate follow through.( Ie my hunger hormones increased with the expectations of growth spurts that never came.)

I was 4’ 8” in kindergarten (4yo) I was regularly mistaken for a middle schooler before I could read, write, or spell. My self image was forming and it was being compared to fully adult women because I sized out of the kids section before I was 7.

My body is breaking down, has broken down, and there is damage I can do nothing about because by the time I learned how to prevent it or manage it it had already been done.

I love my mom, I do, but I want someone to pay for this because I can’t do anything about it now so all the energy i’d usually put into fixing the problem is just spiraling

[nightmarist]

im already feeling a lot better, i hope i can stave off nausea or vertigo long enough for my interview tomorrow.

this week just sucked financially bc we were down to 20 bucks before pay day after paying all the bills. my auntie and a friend gave me 100$ to go to the clinic after ive been feeling extremely dizzy since morning yesterday, unable to walk straight, and with occasional nausea from the vertigo. My best friend drove me and paid for my meds + new batch of testosterone (to which he joked "homies buy homies their hormones")

anyway at the clinic, i checked in, got my vitals, told the nurse I was taking testosterone (not sure if they need to know but i prefer to avoid any adverse mixed drugs when possible). sent me to a room to wait for the doctor.

about 30 minutes later, doctor walked in, looked at me, said "Im sorry I think Im in the wrong room" and loudly proclaimed to the office "Im supposed to see Vladimir but there's a girl here?" and talked about it right in front of me, then she finally turned to me and asked "Are you a friend of Vladimir?" I had to just say "I am Vladimir." which was extremely annoying. She could've just asked me "Are you Vladimir?" instead of make a whole scene in the clinic. Stupid and fucked up.

eventually after questions, she did a test to make sure it wasnt BPPV. I looked it up before and tried the Epley maneuver, but it wasn't very helpful. Regardless, it wasnt BPPV (test was essentially she would swing me back until my shoulders touched the bed and I had to look into the right corner of the room, then do it again and look to the right). She checked my ears after and confirmed I had fluid build up behind my eardrum.

Front desk told me my meds were ordered but when i got to the pharmacy they werent. I had to call the clinic again and tell them to order my meds while I was at my pharmacy. Anyway I did eventually get them.

Dr. prescribed me a nasal spray, an anti vertigo medication, and told me to drink a lot of water to help flush out and thin the mucous build up. Also got to pick up my next batch of T while I was at my pharmacy.

heres to hoping i recover soon. i have a bunch of shit i have to get done and i hate not being able to Do things.

[blogfromthedead]

May 5th, 2024

Hi, Evie here.

Today was pretty uneventful considering everything, but honestly after a pretty shitty and hectic week, this was kind of needed. A nice comfortable rest day in the company of some people I've just recently met... we'll call them Group L.

Group L is honestly a fun bunch of people but there's an awkward social boundary that I have established between me and them seemingly invisibly. I don't speak as much as I kind of just let their voices occupy the space. Generally I just tag around and listen. Of course I do interact from time to time. I don't want to be socially intangible. I actually really enjoy the company of others albeit this sometimes wrecks my social battery.

Today we spent most of our time together that day in a voice chat. It was nice! We played a game you've probably heard of maybe in passing or play yourself for most of our time together. This weekend was a little special as the game features these little simulated 'tournaments'. It's a really cute novelty and a great excuse to hang out in the company for others.

As a team we're not very good at said game but that feels totally okay for me. I used to be a very competitive person but as I've begun to feel out my identity and who I want to be I decided the woes of a competitive environment weren't for me. Instead I've transitioned to using the guise of competitiveness as a means to meet other people and get to know them.

As fun as this can be this isn't all sunshine and rainbows. A big issue when it comes to groups of gamers at times is the level of social immaturity and inability to exercise emotions in a healthy way (rich coming from a person scheduling her own suicide, I know). Often times some of the people in the group will shut down entirely—one to the point of tears—despite it just being a game.

Situations like that often feel like social asphyxiation. I am unsure of how to defuse another's emotions. Honestly it's not my job to do so but as someone veiling as a 'friend'... I often feel responsible.

After some mind wrecking losses to them we ended up forfeiting as a group in order to maybe move onto something more fun. We played party games for a while, then went our separate ways.

Everything considered... it ended okay. A little somber for me but oh well.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

I plan on attempting once more to enter the gauntlet of healthcare in order to figure out if this dentistry will actually accept my insurance. They've been vague about in the past, but with a scheduled appointment on the 7th I may as well try to get them to verify it over the phone before potentially wasting my time.

I also plan on trying to find a new psychiatrist. Last visit was fucking awful. The long and skinny of it; I ended up in a room with a 75 year old man with a Viagra clock for about 35 minutes trying to talk about my current issues and ailments (Including my suicidal ideation). I proceeded to get stonewalled and kind of hurried off by this doctor?

This doctor was fucking awful. For numerous reasons. Calling the process of undergoing hormone replacement therapy as 'mimicking a woman's menstrual cycle' to dead naming me several times after establishing that I was a trans woman twice. He did not ask for my name even. He just did not care for me. I tried bringing up being screened for ADHD, Bipolar, BPD, DID, getting treatment/therapy for anxiety and depression. All he did was ask me a few questions in regards to bipolar. He then quickly prescribed me anti-psychotics (without a proper bipolar diagnosis) that I am completely unsure of whether I should take them due to being not informed of their affects or side effects properly, and then said goodbye seemingly abruptly as the next patient arrived.

I need help mentally. I am aware of this. You are probably—hopefully—aware of this given the nature of this blog. Despite committing to the idea of killing myself currently I am also committed to the ideas of trying and having no regrets. These two thoughts co-exist. I also accept that there is fully a possibility that I wont be suicidal. But currently I accept that I am.

Hopefully my insurance will be gentle in this process and help me identify an office that is friendlier next. I will do my best to explain the situation like above. Hopefully this goes well. Wish me luck.

Other than that... just some grocery shopping and I'm free to laze around. I think I might visit the library. I look forward to these things the most. Growing up in poverty I did not get much variety in choice in what I ate. I am still poor now but under government assistance I can at least have some variance. I need to better my nutrition. I am on a sole protein diet it feels like and I would like that to change. I want to at least try and live healthy.

I think for the library I'm going to check for a copy of some pretty known books for literature as a means to try and start reading. I've got a few that I'm interested in; Wuthering Heights and Moby Dick specifically.

That's all I think.

Thanks for stopping by if you see this, and I hope things are going well for you.

Have a great day. Have a great night.

[ellieslaces]

long lost coming up about some personal stuff I want to talk about :)

some personal experiences and feelings are under the cut. be warned, menstrual cycles, PCOS, sex, and sexuality are heavily discussed :)

I usually don’t talk a bunch about my personal life on here, but as I’m exploring writing smut myself, I want to say this

as a young teen (maybe 14-15), I didn’t have a menstrual cycle. I had a period for one or two years before it completely disappeared. I didn’t have a period for about 8 months, and as a healthy 14 year old girl, this isn’t ‘normal’. my mother took me to the gynecologist, because we thought it was the best place to go

I was then diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). one of the first things the OBGYN told me was not that I would have future problems with my weight, acne, and other issues. but that I was essentially infertile. a fifteen year old girl was told she may be infertile. obviously, this was wrong. you don’t talk to a fifteen year old about having babies. but because this is how gynecologists run, I digress

throughout my teenage years, my body put me through a vicious cycle of not having a period for over year to having it every single day for over a year. this went on for about six to seven years. when I finally decided to stop going to different OBGYNs (because they don’t have a fucking clue about PCOS) and see an endocrinologist

in the spring of this year, I sought out an endocrinologist and set up an appointment. I went to said appointment where the doctor knew immediately what to do. I had blood work the same day and she prescribed metformin (a diabetic medication that can also be used for PCOS). she told me that this specific medication would do the right thing my lowering my testosterone and insulin levels. something birth control cannot do (as many different OBGYNs tried to prescribe me but did not work)

I began taking the metformin in May of this year and by September, I’d had my first normal period in over a year. it was a truly affirming (but annoyingly painful) experience. it is, however, the only period I’ve had but according to my doctor, it’s normal for me not to be regular yet as I haven’t been regular for over six to seven years

another thing I experienced was sexuality. all through my later teenage years, I identified as asexual. I didn’t experience sexual attraction and I thought it was just who I was

but around June or July of this year, I experienced sexual attraction for the first time in my life. as a twenty year old, it was strange. but, I am so happy now because I experience all forms of attraction now. I explain it as being a ‘twenty-one year old pubescent girl’. it sounds silly, but I began going through hormonal ‘puberty’ at twenty - twenty-one

as I am going to grad school next fall (and being a sexual person now), I will soon be starting a birth control

I wanted to say all this because when I publish any fic with smut, I always address how I am terrible at writing smut and dirty talk. this is because in my ‘sexual’ formative years, I didn’t read smut or watch sexual media. I started it as a later teen and now I don’t know how to write dirty talk

but, being a sexual person now, I have the desire to write it. and this is my place to do it. I do apologize for it being a tad ‘juvenile’ because I am still learning

I used to think sex and sexuality was gross and taboo (also due to religious upbringing), but I am unlearning these things. I understand now that sex is natural and can be enjoyable. and I like to read about it

so, this is just me talking. word vomiting basically because I want to be open about this as I will be soon releasing some smutty fics. anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading. PCOS is common, but not understood. and we should fight this stigma that people with PCOS or asexual people are broken or don’t ‘fulfill’ their duties with female possessing reproductive organs. we aren’t here to just have children, we can do more. and I think it’s important to acknowledge that and know it

thank you for listening to me and bearing with me as I further my journey into smut writing <3

[sluntch]

A New Challenger Appears - A Writing Experiment - Day 5

Welcome back, if you've been here before. Welcome if you haven't (and also you've got some catching up to do). Today, we deal with a mystery illness and take a bit of a sidetrack from the diet specifically. This one kind of gets turbo personal and a bit NSFW. Ye be warned to continue from here on in. Here we go.

So throughout all of this dieting and going to the doctor and "taking care of myself" or whatever, the doctor's major concern is that I have high blood pressure and that my potassium is, what many in the business would call, "dangerously low". I get a bunch of meds prescribed to me. I currently take 6 different medications at varying points throughout the day, even though none of them have actually managed to lower my blood pressure effectively and the potassium levels have been held in a fairly decent range due to the supplement I'm taking specifically for it. The potassium being the doc's primary concern out of those two led her to refer me to a nephrologist which is a kidney doctor and a word I didn't know existed until I was referred to one. The thought process was that the potassium was being leaked or something through my kidneys and that they, in particular, needed to be checked. In the meantime, everything else also seems to be completely falling apart.

The previous information and procedure all took place over the course of about 10 months. The nephrology appointment took place in August 2023 and was the point at which motion was finally taken to get things rolling in the right direction. Before that point, though, a lot of other stuff started going wrong. Early in the year, I began to have fluid just stick in my retinas, causing blurred vision and issues seeing things, especially in the dark. The eye doctor I saw told me it should go away on it's own and may be related to stress. He referred me to an ophthalmologist who told me the same thing. Ok great! It doesn't go away. It actually gets WORSE, if you can believe it. At the same time, I lose all libido entirely. Like nothing, ever, for months on end. My body, specifically my legs, get insanely weak. We're talking so weak that I can barely walk up the stairs carrying my own weight, let alone anything else, without becoming winded. Wounds I get on my body don't heal quickly, if at all, and some ooze this clear liquid. Bruises stick around for a long time. My hair begins thinning. My face starts to swell up and is very red. This all progresses and worsens over the course of Oct 2022 to Aug 2023. In addition, the swelling from the Venous Reflux - yes, the one I got an expensive surgery to try and fix - is still there. So at this point, I'm starting to get pretty concerned, as is my wife.

The nephrologist appointment led to a short bit of information (the doctor spoke in broad terms and mentioned trying to rule out certain rare diseases), a new medication (the 6th, overall), and an ultrasound of my kidneys. The ultrasound revealed no issues with the kidneys. Dillon, whose mother is a doctor (this will be relevant in a second), while I was over hanging out, did some googling after the ultrasound follow-up appointment. He began reading me the symptoms of something he was reading off of his phone. While he read, we discovered I had every single symptom he was reading. The "something" was called Cushing Syndrome, a disease I had never heard of. As a point, I feel, it's not a great sign when you have every symptom of a disease. Cushing is caused by an excess production of the hormone Cortisol, sometimes known as the "stress hormone". That Cortisol overproduction can be caused by few things: Taking glucocorticoid medications (which don't do) or one of three types of tumors - an adrenal tumor that could be cancerous, a lung tumor that could be cancerous, or a pituitary tumor that is rarely, if ever, cancerous. It also turns out that this syndrome affects, or at least gets diagnosed, in 40-70 out of 1 million people and, of those, 30% are male. So I win a weird lottery and have this syndrome (which we eventually being calling the disease it actually turns out to be, Cushing Disease) that is causing me to feel like I'm wasting away which is ALSO causing all of the other things going wrong, including the high blood pressure and low potassium. Dil asks his mom about it and I ask the nephrologist about it. Dil's mom has me do a peripheral vision test which I don't do particularly well at and she takes this as good news. She believes, based on that, that the cause is a pituitary tumor and those are, apparently, very easy to remove and, once removed, would rid myself of the issue. The nephrologist confirms that, by definition, I have Cushing and they just want to rule things out before moving forward with treatment.

An MRI of my kidneys is scheduled and reveals no issues with them and no tumors. So not the hyper-rare cancerous one. Good news. My PCP weighs in while in conference with the nephrologist and I get an appointment with an endocrinologist scheduled for November 29, something both other doctors involved seem to be attempting to get moved to an earlier date given the diagnosis. An MRI of my sweet sweet brain has been scheduled for Oct 30 and I'm anxiously awaiting that day to confirm the pituitary tumor and get the brain surgery (yikers) schedule moving. In the meantime, I've been only getting weaker and weaker and have injured my right ankle from overuse. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in my living room chair in a boot after a 5-hour, 2:30 AM emergency room trip taken when I woke up with debilitating pain in my right ankle and an inability to put any weight on it. I've had a lot of emotional swings during this time and, again, cannot thank Abbey and Dil enough for being there for me through all of it. Every day I feel worse and worse but with them around, I can keep moving forward and having some hope that this gets resolved and resolved quickly. Though, if I'm being honest with you, it's getting really tough to keep existing like this. All I want is to feel regular again. It may be close but it still feels very far away and I'm VERY scared of getting brain surgery. We'll see what happens.

That brings us up to the current day. The entries from here on out are going to be, most likely, a smattering of different things. They could be about what I ate or did during a given day or random thoughts that I have or some other such nonsense. I don't really know and am just going to begin treating this as my journal that other people can read. As long as I'm writing, I'll build the habit. Thanks for reading, if you did, and I appreciate you very much.

61 days to go.

[bantinglikewilliam]

Update!

My weight is 199 (finally).

I'm not sure what exactly messed me up, whether it was a drug interaction or occasional drinking (I stopped following the Banting diet and only drank a few drinks since my last post) but something threw my hormones out of whack. I since detoxed from basically all medication except when absolutely necessary, stopped all alcohol, and had to supplement like crazy with potassium and magnesium. I didn't check every day but I had a test for ketones in my urine and none were found after IF and low carb when they should have been there, and I stayed at 202/203 for way too long, I think because I was holding water and possibly not going into ketosis. Finally today, the day I was scheduled to weigh myself, I lost a few pounds, and that was after eating throughout the day and having sushi and a sweet bun yesterday. If my body hadn't been out of whack, I theoretically should have lost significantly more weight a lot sooner based on what and when I was eating. It has been an extremely frustrating experience and a really long and stressful week or two full of mostly good things, but also a lot of big changes and decisions.

After what happened to me, I have no appetite for drinking right now. Alcohol can concentrate drugs in your system because it can inhibit cytochromes, and that's no joke if, like me, you tend to be sensitive to medication (hypothetically, already have slow cytochromes). Basically, imagine drugs are forms that need processing and my cytochromes are overburdened bureaucrats, already slow. Now imagine giving those bureaucrats a lot of wine, they get even slower, and the forms build up and don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if that's a good metaphor, but the freaky side effects I experienced that can't be explained by drinking on top of medication because the medication should have been out of my system give me pause when a friend casually asks if I want a glass of wine with my meal. And anything that stops me from losing weight, that is a huge red flag that screams "Doing This Is Bad For My Body!"

I tried a serotonin antagonist and it turns out one of the antihistamines I was taking for insomnia was also a serotonin antagonist (which also has an extremely long half life), and taking them together was bad which I didn't realize for awhile, but taking them hours apart from drinking or other medications was also bad, for me at least. I think I'm very sensitive to changes in serotonin in regards to my adrenal system, and if I'm right it meant too much of certain hormones were released (angiotensin, which leads to increased aldosterone) that raised my blood pressure, lowered my ability to make insulin, and told my body to get rid of potassium. I never would have dreamed taking lower than prescribed doses seemingly far apart could lead to a bunch of weird stuff happening in my body, but it seems to finally be over now and I am so grateful. It makes me concerned about what the insomnia medication has been doing to me since I have been taking it to help with sleep and panic attacks as needed for years. It's made me concerned what all medications I've taken have been doing to me. Not, like, in a nefarious way, just, literally what has it been doing, and how concerned should I be? For example, my rate of panic attacks went way up over the past two weeks. In the past certain anxiety medications has made me more anxious, could other medications be doing that too?

As someone who has experienced rare yet severe side effects in the past that disrupted my quality of life, it is very frustrating when doctors just shrug and say that's just something that happens when you take a drug or discount when you say you think something is wrong because a drug is safe, or people usually don't have the side effect you're having, so it can't be that drug's fault. As a layperson who knows their body and can tell something is wrong but who also doesn't have tests to prove it, especially when it something like migraines or panic attacks or inability to lose weight that can't be tested for objectively, the medical system can make you feel even worse and like you don't know what you're talking about. And also it seems like if you're not like, dying, you're fine. Oh, your blood pressure is thirty points higher than it normally is? Meh. You fasting blood sugar went from the 80's like it has been for years into the prediabetic range although you're eating keto and fasting? Why are you worried? Are you sure you're really trying to lose weight, people don't have a problem with this medication. Sheesh! It can really be invalidating.

And yet low and behold, when I stop the medication, and my side effects go away, then yeah, now they believe me. Usually. Otherwise I guess they assume I'm just a neurotic schlub eating sugar and carbs all day and just expect me to have deteriorating or suboptimal health like high blood pressure and high blood sugar like the rest of the StandardAmericanDiet-sacks. Again, sheesh! The medical profession needs to wake up and start caring about side effects and WHY they happen, and what they mean systemically, because drugs that do things like making you sleepy or hungry don't happen in a vacuum or by magic. They happen because of hormones and neurotransmitters and catecholamines and choline, and it's a very complicated and intertwined system, but that doesn't excuse ignorance of mechanisms when the information is out there or lack of symptom management to maintain homeostasis. And doctors need to stop being ok with people being a little metabolically sick and just being happy they're not really really sick.

And, on a related tangent, people need to stop saying there are no predictors for prediabetes. There are, and they're not even that complex or expensive or controversial, from what I understand, I can't say from experience because I've asked about them but no one has actually ever done these tests for me.

Measuring visceral fat by ultrasound, uric acid levels with a blood test (I think they may made monitors for this similar to blood glucose monitors), and oral glucose tolerance tests for checking for insulin resistance, all of which should be routine as part of physicals. Fasting insulin tells you nothing about the actual function of your pancreas after you eat a cookie, just if it's really really dysfunctional without any food coming in, which is very bad news for your metabolic health. Oral glucose tolerance tests show in real time if your pancreas is overreacting and releasing insulin after you eat sugar, not if it's overreacting by releasing too much insulin all of the time. This is a distinct difference and really valuable information, but it's slightly more complicated and time consuming, so they just don't do it. Give me a break! I wish I could start a nonprofit and focus on just those three screening tests, I bet it could really help people catch things before they get really sick (idea copyright BantingLikeWilliam 2023 lol).

And don't get me started on the overwhelming attitude of doom and gloom if you would have visceral fat, elevated uric acid, or insulin resistance. You're doomed? No. You can reverse nonalcoholic fatty liver in DAYS just by giving up sugar, alcohol, and doing intermittent fasting (may take a few extra days if you don't fast). Notice I didn't say you have to give up carbs. Sugar (fructose) and alcohol stress your liver out in nearly identical ways because if how they are processed. This is not pseudoscience, yet NAFLD is considered by many medical professionals to be a progressive disease, not one you can reverse. And the earlier you catch it, the easier it is to reverse. Same with fatty tongue with sleep apnea. Liver and tongue fat are two of the first to be liquidated when you stop overwhelming your body with sugar (and alcohol, but most people just need to cut out sugar). It takes longer to shrink visceral fat and reverse insulin resistance and get your hormones to normalize, but it has been done over and over so many times in the same way that it feels like willful blindness and pessimism when the Mayo Clinic still talks about PCOS and fatty liver and diabetes like they're life sentences. You don't have to live with any of them, and the way you avoid them or turn them around is by changing what you eat. I try to help my friends who have these health problems and they tell me they don't like eating too much meat or that the keto diet requires processed foods and keep going to this specialist or that specialist and as long as the medical establishment keeps saying we are destined to get fat and decline in health as we age, I'm going to keep sounding like a nutcase telling people to eat more meat and that it's ok to give your organs a break from eating to be healthy. Virta Health, Low Carb Down Under, and all the other reputable low carb researchers, I hope you can help make this type of thinking more widely accepted before my friends have trouble conceiving, have trouble with their eyesight due to metabolic issues, or have to have limbs amputated, all which has happened to people I know.

People like to look to prescription drugs as miracle drugs or quick fixes, but they're often not, and what is a miracle and quick fix is keto. Not for all issues, of course, but for overall health and to balance hormones. Write me off as a nut if you want, but like my bae Mulder would say, the truth is out there. Except it's not classified, just google it and check your sources. I'm not making any claims that haven't been backed up by studies and actual doctors who see the conditions reversed in their practices.

I wish that more attention would be paid to side effects of drugs, but if doctors etc keep expecting people to have bad side effects or be ok with them being sort of metabolically sick, how can that ever happen? Who will advocate for people having horrible side effects from drugs that well meaning doctors prescribe? I genuinely don't know. Hopefully someday soon the mechanisms by which drugs work will be better elucidated and unified and psychiatry/other specialities and general medicine will work together in a holistic way that considers the patient's whole body. Until then, it doesn't hurt to know your body at baseline and keep track of side effects when trying a new medication, whether it is prescribed, over the counter, or even a supplement. Even food. Chips make you swell up? That's good to know, you may need more potassium if you're gonna eat chips. A drug makes you hungry? That's a metabolic red flag. At the end of the day, when you know what is normal for your body, you can better advocate for yourself and if you do need to take a drug, you have a better chance of finding one that will work with your body.

Rant over. This experiment is on hold. I'm aiming for keto.