#but please use that beautiful brain and realize that this is a work of fiction used as a vessel for social commentary
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shouts-into-the-void · 11 months ago
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I'm becoming more and more convinced that everyone mad about the changes made in the Percy Jackson series just don't have critical thinking skills
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alessiamalfoyzabini · 10 months ago
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can you make a fic about yan!fboyjk and yan!cheaterjk for me? i don’t have a specific plot in my mind so you can do anything to your liking :))
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Pairing | cheater!fboy!yan!Jungkook x Reader
Word Count | 4.242
Warnings | +18, talk about marriage and cheating, smut, dubcon, fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex (f. receiving), Jungkook is sweet but also scary, angst, forced relationship, manipulation
Yandere genre is very strong, if you don't like it, don't read. If you are not of age, don't read. I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.
This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.
Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.
⤷ Summary | You want to leave Jungkook, but he is not of the same opinion, It doesn't matter if he did wrong, you are his.
➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! Thank you for the request! I hope you like the story, please ask me for more stories, I am happy to write for you 🥰
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You and Jungkook have been always sure about your future, you would get married and live happily ever after like in the most beautiful fairy tale. So why are you crying? Why do you refuse to take your eyes off that scene? Your brain refuses to recognize those angelic features that had caught you in a dense network of colorful, sparkling dreams as a child. That cannot be the same man who swore to you in front of all your relatives eternal love, with a ring in his hand and a wonderful, sweet smile drawn on his lips. Yet who can it be but Jungkook, the man who at that moment holds in his arms a woman unknown to you? You went to the gym to surprise your boyfriend, he had been disappearing for hours for some time under the guise of training for the wedding, he wanted to keep in shape to be perfect for you… just for you. But there he is, at the entrance of the gym whispering something in the ear of the blond-haired woman, who in return smiles cheekily at his joke, running a hand over his strong, trained chest. They seem very close, there is definitely confidence between them. You finally look away, feeling incredibly wrong, and take a step back, then another and another.
You start running in the opposite direction, all to forget that scene, to forget Jungkook's smug eyes staring at a woman who is not you. When you get home you feel incredibly weak, you sit almost collapsing on the bed, in your brain a bunch of ideas start swirling around in your head, ideas that block your breath in your throat. It's not even the first time it's happened, you realize, it's happened before that you've noticed something strange in your relationship, but you've never given it any credence. You don't want to think anymore. Forget, forget, forget.
"Smells good, love," the man leaves a sweet kiss on your neck, pressing his soft lips to caress your skin, "Is my girl getting ready to spoil me yet?" Jungkook holds you tightly in his arms, practically purring against your body. You find yourself smiling between his cuddles, continuing to stir the meat stew simmering in the pot. "You're just saying that because you're hungry," you chuckle gently. You found yourself shaking like a leaf in anxiety for days, believing that sooner or later Jungkook would come to you to tell you that he was leaving you for another woman, but none of that happened, Jungkook is still the same, showering you with attention and adoring you, and still wanting to marry you. Perhaps you had misunderstood the situation, that blond woman must be a friend and you jumped to conclusions, you should have asked Jungkook for explanations, but you still feel something holding you back from doing so. It is fear, a deep and treacherous fear.
"I say this because you are too good to me," he whispers seriously, causing you to turn toward him. His serious eyes chain yours and you feel lost, watching the wonder of that glittering obsidian staring at you encompassing you with possession, Jungkook licks his lips, the rosy soft tip furrowing those inviting petals before he moves closer to you, the electricity between your bodies bursting into lightning bolts as your lips meet, softly joining in an adoring kiss full of dominance. Somehow Jungkook manages to turn off the stove behind you, grabbing your head in a grip that forces you to deepen the kiss under the pressure of his hot tongue pressing repeatedly on your lips to demand access to your mouth. In each touch of Jungkook you lose yourself, accepting the force with which he takes your lips moaning and grabbing a few wavy strands of hair between your fingers. His tongue entwines with yours creating a wet and sensual dance, feeling him slow and hot inside your mouth turns you on in an incredible way. His taste is dope and Jungkook thinks the same of yours, sucking your tongue like delicious candy and smiling. It is always like that, if he wants something, he takes it. And you at that moment happily offer him your body, your feelings and your soul. They are all his.
He grips your hips in his hands, pressing you against his hot body, he needs you and with trembling legs you leave him in charge, he takes you to the couch where he makes you lie down leaving behind a trail of light, soft kisses along your jaw and neck, he stares at you now with half-closed eyes, the man finds himself thinking that you probably don't know how much you are actually giving him. With your clothes now on the floor and your panties lowered to your knees you let your head fall back, clenching your lower lip between your teeth, gentle waves of pleasure envelop your body, Jungkook with one hand travels up your belly to stop at your breasts, which he squeezes possessively as he wraps his tongue around your swollen clitoris, licking and sucking it repeatedly before poking your soggy slit with his fingertips, entering it only slightly, just enough to let your sweet essence out and lick it away with his tongue and enjoy the taste of you that has always driven him wild. You're getting closer and closer to your first orgasm, and you know it won't be the only one; you squeeze his head between your soft, smooth thighs, but he forces you to stay still by pushing his palms on your delicate skin, continuing to eat away at your quivering folds until a wonderful, satisfying sensation grips your belly and explodes into millions of tiny stars behind your closed eyelids.
"Jungkook! S-stop!" you shake your hips trying to make him stop and he stops only after sucking your sensitive pearl against his palate one last time. Kissing your folds and moving up your skin he stops at your belly, licking slowly down to your navel and you shudder still shaken from your orgasm, he only begins to remove his pants and boxers once he reaches your breasts, where he breathes in the scent of your soft skin and takes a delicate nipple in his mouth, attaching it and beginning to caress it with the tip of his tongue, sending delicious shivers throughout your body. "Open those beautiful legs for me, sweetheart," he gives you two light pats on the knee and makes you spread your legs wide, satiating his hungry, smug eyes. He loves the power you let him wield over you. You lick your lips at the sight of his straining, cum-shiny cock, wanting to taste it, to feel that length filling your mouth and leaving you breathless, but Jungkook pushes you back against the couch firmly, shaking his head amusedly. "Later, love," he murmurs finally taking off the tight t-shirt he is wearing, you find yourself gazing at his defined and gorgeous abs with the driest of throats, he doesn't let you touch him to your disappointment, you want to caress his chest, play with his sensitive nipples, but with a firm, hard kiss he guides himself between your legs, sinuously sliding into your wet entrance with his thick, hard cock, you widen your eyes and a deep moan leaves your throat. Your sensitive folds vibrate delightedly with each of his slow, firm lunges, your arms wrap around his neck and your hips move with his, in the room you can only hear the sounds of your bodies coming together and your wheezing moans, Jungkook grunts in your ear something after a particularly hard thrust and your eyes narrow, the thick tip of his cock is hitting a particularly sensitive spot that makes more moisture gush from your pussy.
"Jungkook, I'm coming again," you whimper softly inhaling his scent, the man nods as he continues to press into that sensitive area, and you move his hair behind his ear before leaving a kiss on one side of his neck. Then something makes you miss a beat. You hadn't noticed it before because it was hidden by his rather long hair, but just below his ear is a mark. It looks like a mark- a hickey -the color is tending toward purple and your heartstrings tug painfully.
You drive your nails into his shoulders with frost enveloping your limbs, you don't want to look any further, tears accumulate in the corners of your eyes and Jungkook blames your oncoming climax, he kisses them drying them with his lips and that gesture makes you scream internally, why is he so sweet and attentive? It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair. With his free hand he reaches down between your bodies beginning to circle with his thumb around your clit, his pelvis moves faster, he is coming, soon he would fill you with his cum and for the first time ever you find yourself faking an orgasm with Jungkook, your delicate walls tighten around his cock, accompanying him to the end of his pleasure, but you feel nothing more. Jungkook collapses on top of you, kissing your forehead and cheeks, then finishing with your lips, but your heart is shattered. The man you love does not actually love you. "I love you, Y/N," he says, a lie you are no longer willing to believe.
There was always something wrong with the attention Jungkook was getting at school, you often attended the same classes and you always got the evil eyes of the other girls on you, you had even tried to ask the boy why, but he had always explained that they were simply jealous of your relationship and you were not supposed to pay attention to them. And you had believed him, after all, you always believed him. But now you regret giving him all that power.
"Jungkook, do you have another woman?" Your wedding is only a month away, and you can't marry a man who doesn't love you. Jungkook from his side almost chokes on his energy drink, he stares at you as if you had two heads instead of one, you are in the parking lot of his gym, you went to pick him up and you can tell he had recently showered, the ends of his hair are still damp and curled. "Shit, Y/N! Is that something to tell your future husband? We're getting married in exactly one month, heck no! I don't have another woman!" he blurts out seemingly speechless, you tighten your lips in response. "Hey ... Baby, what's going on?" he whispers softly, trying to take your chin between his fingers, but you quickly flinch away from him, who rolls his eyes in response. "What's going on is this, Jungkook," you growl, suddenly lifting some dark locks from his neck, exposing a small but remarkable detail. There are slight bite marks that are healing, you had noticed it a few days before, but you didn't have the courage to point it out, until now.
You're tired, you don't want to put up with such a situation anymore. "Stop teasing me, I hate it when you're so sweet to me, when it's clear that you're having fun behind my back with who knows how many other women!" you shout with glazed eyes, Jungkook immediately losing the confusion etched on his face, finally letting a serious and icy look shine through. "This is not the place to talk about this, Y/N. Let's go home," he hisses, not even trying to deny it one more time. This shocks you deeply. He doesn't seem to care that you finally know the truth. "I really think this is the right place, instead" you don't want to cry, so you hold back your tears by chasing them back, "You lied to me and betrayed me, I don't want to marry a man like you" the disgust in your voice makes him wince, if he thought he was going to solve things by using some bullshit catchphrases, well, he was very wrong. You make to get out of the car, you would have taken a cab rather than be with him again in that cramped and stifling space, you want to vent your emotions in a more secluded place, but Jungkook tightens a hand around your wrist.
"Don't you want to marry a man like me? My love, you may not realize that you have no other choice! We have always been together and we will always be together! You swore it to me more than once and you even did it in front of our parents!" he exclaims fiercely, tightening his grip painfully, you squeeze your eyes shut in pain. "You're hurting me," you murmur terrified by his sudden change. "Well, maybe you deserve it, don't you think?" he asks cruelly. You know Jungkook particularly cares about his parents' judgment, but you didn't think he would go that far to make them happy, so a worse doubt germinates in you. "You never loved me! You only want to be with me because our parents always wanted it that way" you want to vomit, were you really that blind? Jungkook quickly shakes his head, "Of course I love you, even though you're making me angry with this absurd talk of yours." "You don't love me, if you really loved me you wouldn't cheat on me with other women" you find the strength to break free from his grip, your pulse is red and pumping blood quickly. "I-" he freezes, his eyes dark with fury, "You don't understand, you can't blame me alone for all this!"
Jungkook knows he was wrong; in fact, he wouldn't have even wanted to start. But when you got together you were young and you had insisted on losing your virginity only once you had reached adulthood and thus the necessary maturity, you did not want your first time to be driven only by the pure hormonal instincts of two teenagers, and Jungkook had never had the courage to insist, because you seemed quite convinced about your ideas. But he needed what you were unwilling to give him, and so he cheated on you for the first time in a school bathroom after class, and he had hated himself no matter how many more countless times, but the more he got the more he wanted more, and even when you had finally given yourself to him, cheating had become an impossible vice to let go of, and the idea that you would always be left waiting for him was particularly tempting. But now it no longer seems that way; you want to leave, to leave him, and he cannot allow it. "You drove me crazy with your constant 'We're too young' or 'Let's wait a little longer'!" You open your mouth wide in shock, "No, don't blame me! You never told me you were against my ideas, and anyway, that's no reason to betray a person you say you love."
You have to get out of that car, you can't wait a second longer. The situation is worse than you thought, he has been cheating on you since the beginning of your story, you are nauseated. "You disgust me," you say before you open the door, you turn to get out, but suddenly your vision goes black, you feel Jungkook press his hand against your nose and mouth, before wrapping an arm around your neck.
When you wake up you realize you are no longer in the car, but you are not even in your house. The only thing you remember is Jungkook making you faint, then nothingness. You look around and what you see is a small room, the walls are lilac and it's littered with puppets of all kinds and colors, the mirror in front of the single bed you're lying on makes it clear the way you've been dressed. You're wearing a high school uniform and your hands are tied to the headboard, you widen your eyes and try to free yourself by pulling at the fabric used to hold you like that. "You've woken up." Jungkook makes his appearance from the bathroom connected to the small bedroom, he is adjusting his dark blue tie and you also notice his attire, he is dressed in a school uniform just like you. "What does all this mean, is this a joke?" you hiss less than amused, but Jungkook doesn't flinch. "I've come to a conclusion," he says as he approaches the bed, you try to get as far away from him as possible by bringing your free legs to your chest, you don't recognize the man in front of you, "I don't want to cheat on you, ever again."
He seems sincere, but you don't trust him. He has broken your heart too many times to deserve trust from you again. "I don't believe you, you're a liar," you say in fact, Jungkook tightens his lips. "I have my conditions," he says anyway, ignoring your words, "You'll still marry me and we'll make up for all the moments you made us miss," he murmurs dangerously, sitting down on the bed and letting a hand approach your thigh, you become an ice statue instantly, finally understanding the reason behind your uniforms. "You're crazy, I'm not going to marry you and we're not going to get anything back at all, to be honest I haven't had an orgasm with you in weeks, just the thought of a traitor like you touching me makes me lose the will to fuck," you murmur angrily, jerking away from his hand in a stinging manner. Jungkook narrows his eyes into two slits, he wanted to be nice to you, but you just don't understand. He's going to use forceful manners, then. "Why must you force me to hurt you, my love?" You look at him terrified, what does he mean?
"Jungkook, don't do anything you might regret, please." He grips your face hard in his hands, staring at you with those deep, dark pools you've always loved, pinning you in place before snapping a deep kiss. You stubbornly keep your lips tight, but Jungkook bites your lower lip forcing you to scream, his voluptuous tongue immediately making room in your mouth and groaning in protest as he plunders your oral cavity. "You'll change your mind, Y/N, by hook or by crook," he hums in your ear with a veil of amusement shining through his voice-who the hell is this man? Jungkook studies you carefully before running his hands over your hips, you shudder at his touch and his fingers stop above the buttons of your school blouse. "You will have only my body, Jungkook," you say in a colorless voice, trying to escape from that absurd reality, the boy opens your blouse, showing off the lace of your pink bra, he observes the graceful shape of your breasts longingly before returning his gaze to you. "I will have everything of you: soul, heart, body -- everything," he whispers before leaning over you, inhaling your scent straight from your bare skin.
"Where have you taken me?" "Haven't you figured it out yet?" You frown, then finally understand. It is his room from when he was a child, that means-. "We're at your parents' house." Jungkook nods. "Do you remember what happened in this room, Y/N?" Yes, you remember, but you don't want to say it out loud, that would make what Jungkook wants to do real. "You rejected me," he hisses suddenly, ripping your blouse off once and for all, you squeal in fright at his force and widen your eyes. He looks furious, his hands are shaking and his shoulders have stiffened under the weight of his fury, "I wanted you and you walked away! No matter how many times we did it when you made up your mind, you still rejected me and forced me to beg from other girls!" he exclaims, totally delirious before attaching his lips to the visible skin of your breasts, you wriggle trying to push him away, but he is too strong, Jungkook is not there with you. He is lost in his memories and blaming you for his betrayals.
Bitter tears accumulate in the corners of your eyes, it's not your fault. It's not your fault at all, but maybe... maybe if you had been more attentive to his needs, too, you would have been enough for him? When he grabs your pussy from above the fabric of your panties you arch your back against your will, his strong and powerful presence still has its hold on you and you tremble trying to stop yourself, you don't know if you are more scared or excited. "Jungkook-" "Say you're sorry," you widen your eyes. "What?" you gasp, his index finger going under the fabric and circling your slit. "Say you're sorry for rejecting me so many times, say you're sorry for all the times you made me feel like an ugly, worthless little boy!" You shake your head, "I never-" you groan, his index finger penetrating you and gently moving a few inches above your soaked entrance, you stiffen at the flame that suddenly invades your limbs. How does he still do this to you? After weeks spent in total apathy, it is now lighting you up in more ways than one, why?
Then you remember, " I don't want to cheat on you, ever again," are such simple words enough to get your body to react? Your body is corrupted by Jungkook, vibrating under his forbidden touch and practically purring, more moisture gushes from your slit, which widens to envelop the second finger Jungkook adds to his penetration, you are trembling trying not to push your hips against the boy, but it is harder than you thought. "I don't want you," you murmur, shaking your head, Jungkook looking at you firmly, tickling sensitive spots that only he knows and is able to reach. "Say it again as you come on my fingers, my love." An unsettling feeling of warmth swells in your lower abdomen. You deny it once more with your head, trying to stop your trembling legs, but it is too late, your walls tightening around his long, deft fingers, exploding in an orgasm you have longed for. "Why are you doing this to me?" you cry, moving your arms forcefully; Jungkook stops you, preventing you from hurting yourself with the ribbons that bind you.
"I wanted to make you pay for all the times you said no by making me feel like a poor, inexperienced fool," he says clutching your skirt with fingers smeared with your liquid pleasure, "But things got out of hand," he stammers, a stinger reaches your heart and your stomach sinks. You don't want to think about how many times he has devoted himself to another woman's body, it hurts too much. "You never told me about it," your words come out in a breathy voice, you try to hold back the sobs. Jungkook moves on top of you, "We will be happy, Y/N" he kisses your forehead moving between your legs, you feel him unzip his pants and enter you with one thrust, it is easy to enter you, you are completely wet and close your eyes listening to his rough, lustful sighs. His swollen cock moves penetrating you repeatedly, the bed moves under his precise and direct strokes and you squeeze your eyes shut, your clitoris throbbing and quivering seeking more direct stimulation and a sigh escapes your lips when the man presses his pelvis against your pubis, crushing your sensitive pearl while with the tip of his cock he reaches to stimulate a particularly receptive spot, you watch the strands of his hair sticking to your sweat-dampened forehead and his eyes begging you not to leave him.
"Y/N!" he moans your name while squinting, "Y/N!" he pushes harder between your soft walls and pulls with his arms on the ropes that keep you tied to the bed. "Jung-" you bite your tongue, refusing to moan his name, but the boy disagrees and demands that you look at him. "I'm sorry, I'll never cheat on you again, I mean it," he whimpers into your ear, "I only love you, only you," he moans and you find yourself closing your eyes, not wanting to give in, not really wanting to, but... "I'm-I'm sorry...for rejecting you" you stammer, pleasure rising once again and the hope of mending your relationship dancing in your chest, "I'm sorry for making you feel unfit." "The others... I just wanted to prove myself" thus confesses his feeling of inadequacy, you know you shouldn't forgive him anyway, but you love him too much, "But now I realize it's only to you that I have to prove something, forgive me" and so you let yourself be corrupted even in your soul. Just a gesture of your head is enough to allow him to come deeply inside you, your breath quickening as you reach for him clutching him in the deepest part of you, throwing your head back. Moments later he unties the knot that binds you to the bed and kisses your wrists softly, murmuring about how perfect you are for him and that once we were married, all would be forgotten because he only wants you. A tear slides down your cheek.
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skz-streamer · 1 year ago
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Coming love
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Simptober Small Things You Do M-list
Pairing: Lee Know (skz) x fem!reader
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: just brain rot fluff :)
Notes: His arms, that's all I gotta say :)))
-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people
Word count - 853;)
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The evening had started with excitement and anticipation as you prepared for a night out with your friends. You had spent what felt like hours picking out the perfect outfit, settling on something cute and slightly revealing but not too much. It was a balance that made you feel confident and ready for a fun night.
As you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, you couldn't help but admire your reflection. Your hair was styled just right, your makeup was flawless, and that dress hugged your curves in all the right places. You knew you looked good, but what really mattered was how you felt. And tonight, you felt fantastic.
Finally satisfied with your appearance, you walked out of the bathroom, your heart racing with excitement. As your eyes met Lee Know's, you couldn't help but notice the way his eyes sparkled with admiration. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his gaze fixed on you as you entered the room.
"You look absolutely stunning," he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation. He stood up and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. You could feel the warmth of his body, and it sent shivers down your spine.
"Thanks babe," you replied with a smile. "I'm ready to head out now. See you later."
With a quick kiss and a whispered "bye," you left the room, leaving Lee Know behind, still captivated by your beauty. He watched you go with a loving smile, knowing that you were going to have a great time with your friends.
Out at the bar, the night was in full swing. You and your friends were laughing, smoking, and enjoying some drinks. The atmosphere was lively, and the music filled the air. However, as the night progressed, a few guys started to approach your group, attempting to strike up conversations and hit on you.
You were polite but firm in your rejection, making it clear that you were taken. The words "I have a boyfriend" became your mantra, a shield against unwanted advances. Despite the alcohol in your system, you remained steadfast in your loyalty to Lee Know.
As the night wore on, you found yourself getting increasingly high, the world around you spinning. Your friends were in various states of inebriation as well, but your most sober friend realized that you had reached your limit. Concerned for your well-being, she took your phone and called Lee Know to pick you up.
You managed to steal the phone away for a moment, your words slurring as you called out, "Hey... can you pick me uppp..."
On the other end of the line, Lee Know's voice was filled with concern and love as he replied, "Coming, love."
You waited outside the bar, the world a dizzying blur, until you saw him enter. You felt a rush of relief and affection as he thanked your friend for calling him. He looked incredibly hot in a simple tank top and sweatpants, an effortless kind of attractiveness that made your heart race even more.
Lee Know wasted no time. He gently placed his hand around your waist and guided you out of the bar. The cool night air hit your face, momentarily clearing your mind as you focused on him. His jawline was chiseled, his eyes were beautiful, and his arms looked insanely hot in that tank top.
He noticed your lingering glance and looked at you questioningly. "Am I just too hot for you?" he teased, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You managed to stammer out, "Hey, I have a boyfriend," still slurring your words. Lee Know chuckled and leaned in to give you a gentle, loving kiss before helping you into the car.
The drive home was a bit of a blur for you, the world outside whizzing by as you focused on him. His presence was comforting, and you couldn't help but admire him. His hands on the steering wheel, his strong arms, the way his hair looked tousled but perfect—it all made you feel incredibly lucky to have him.
When you finally reached your house, you were barely conscious. Lee Know carefully lifted you out of the car and supported you as you walked to the front door. He laid you down on the bed, gently removing your shoes and wiping off your makeup as best as he could.
You were peacefully sleeping, and as much as he wanted to sleep beside you, Lee Know knew he couldn't. He gave you one last tender kiss and brushed a strand of hair away from your face. Then, he turned off all the lights, leaving you in peaceful darkness.
He settled on the couch, laptop open in front of him, but his mind was far from work. It was focused entirely on you, his love, and how lucky he was to have you in his life. As he worked, he couldn't help but steal glances at your sleeping form, his heart full of love and warmth for the incredible woman who had stolen his heart.
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kimhargreeves · 6 months ago
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New Mission- Clayface x Reader (Suicide Squad Isekai)
(Based on the upcoming Suicide Squad Isekai. Things won't be accurate of course but decided to have fun writing it. Making it the first fiction I've posted in almost over a year. Decided to have fun writing on the new Muzan lookalike😅)
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(Based on the upcoming anime Suicide Squad Isekai)
We were all rounded up by Amanda Waller in a room as we all had chips implanted in our brain, ones that would explode if we're to disobey her and her missions for us. We all sported the same orange prison suit. I am a criminal in Belle Reve locked with my best friend, Harley Quinn. Like any prison its divided by men and women, Deadshot and Clayface on the other end. I frown as I glanced at Clayface or Basil Karlo his real name, I knew them before we got captured at separate time and place, but I never got along with Clayface both of us occasionally clashing heads and annoying each other....
"Ugh why do we have to be a team?!" I whine as I roll my eyes as we stand in a line.
Clayface glanced at me in annoyance as he leaned back in his seat, his clay face forming a frown as he spoke
"As if you're exactly a delight to work with yourself sweetheart"
"Haa?! I'm a great delight, the best to be around with! Besides you got caught way earlier than me" I remind looking at him. He smirked as he glanced at me.
"You're pretty full of yourself aren't you? I may have been caught before you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're more of a competent villain than I am. Let's not forget that you wouldn't be in this situation if you had been more careful in the first place"
"I'm as great as a villain as the Joker" I glare referring to Harley's boyfriend, he's still loose in Gotham.
He scoffed, shaking his head.
"Comparing yourself to the Joker? Please, that's an insult to my intelligence. The Joker is a criminal mastermind, someone who always thinks three steps ahead... You, on the other hand, simply rely way too much on your looks and charm in order to get away. The difference between you and the Joker is vast"
"Well of course I'm gonna use my beautiful looks! Every female villain does..like Poison Ivy"  I say shrugging.
He rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms.
"Ah, yes, the seductive nature of female villains. Ivy uses her seductive looks to manipulate and deceive her victims before poisoning them. But do not deluded yourself into thinking that you're on her level, sweetheart. Ivy possesses a depth of cunning and wickedness that you could only dream of. Comparing yourself to her is laughable"
I scoff . "Heh. no I'm not! She may be taller than me with bigger attributes but we work the same! *I blush as I defend myself.
Clayface chuckled, raising an eyebrow.
"Work the same, huh? It's not just her height or her attributes that make her superior to you. Poison Ivy commands nature herself, harnessing the power of plants and using them as her own personal weapon. You, on the other hand, are essentially a weak link with nothing but looks as your only strength. But hey, if you want to keep living in delusions, be my guess."
"Yeah right, any man would be lucky to have me!"
He shook his head, a dismissive scoff escaping his lips.
"You're quite deluded if you truly believe that, love. Do you really think that your beauty is the only thing that matters to men? You lack the intelligence, the wit, the charisma, and the darkness that true villains possess. And those qualities make a woman far more attractive than pretty looks.
I frown now remaining silent as I keep glaring. He looked at me with a smirk.
"What's the matter, love? Am I hitting too close to home? Perhaps you're realizing that you're nothing but a pretty face with no substance. It's not too late to change that though, although that would require some self-awareness on your part, I don't quite think you have that...yet."
I glare as I walk closer standing in front of him as he remained seated. "You said what?!
He grinned up at me as I approached him, unfazed by my proximity to him.
"Oh, don't worry, love, it's just a little dose of honesty that you desperately need. But by all means, feel free to continue being a shallow little girl using nothing but your looks to get by in life. I'm sure that'll take you far, won't it? Pfft, such a waste of potential...”
Oh yeah? We'll see about that. I glare as I lean down gripping his chin and pressing my lips to his.
He was caught off guard by my sudden gesture, surprise evident in his expression as my lips met his. He could feel the heat rising within him, and for a brief moment, he found himself struggling to maintain his composure. But then he pushed me away, a displeased frown on his face.
"Whoa there, love. I suppose you're trying to prove a point by using your feminine wiles, but let me be clear, I'm not so easily swayed by your charm, no matter how tantalizing it may be."
Hmm I smirk to myself as I touch my lips blushing a lot. "All men fall for me..it's just a matter of time before, well, before you do, Karlo.
He scoffed, shaking his head in amusement as he observed my confident demeanor.
"Ah, I see, you believe that I'll inevitably fall for your feminine allure. Well, I hate to disappoint you, sweetheart, but you're in for a rude awakening. Just because I can acknowledge your physical beauty doesn't mean I'm helplessly entranced by it. It'll take more than a pretty face to break down my defenses and win me over."
I frown but then smirked remembered an event. "Oh yeah? Says the man who before we got locked up came to me, and we had an amazing night together"
 Ismirk blushing, "Don't think I forgot about that.
He sighed, a hint of a blush creeping onto his cheeks as I brought up the topic.
"Alright, I may have conceded to your advances that one time. But let's not kid ourselves, that was a moment of weakness on my part. It doesn't mean I'm under your spell or anything."
I hum blushing as I hold my face. "You've always been adorable when you don't acknowledge yourself.
He rolled his eyes, trying to maintain his aloof demeanor.
"Adorable? Please, I don't do 'adorable' sweetheart. I'm a hardened criminal, not a fluffy little bunny. And as for acknowledgement, I don't need validation from anyone, not even you, love."
I smirk turning my back to him. " 'Oh, (Y/N)! Do it like that harder!' I fake a moan imitating his words
His cheeks flushed a deep shade of red and he muttered.
"Sh-shut up. You know I'm not like that... And you certainly weren't so quiet that night either..so stop bringing it up"
"Of course I wasn't quiet! Was I supposed to?!"
He let out a huff, his annoyance growing.
"No, but I'd prefer it if you didn't go around reminding me of that particular moment. It's embarrassing, alright? I have a reputation to uphold..and having a pretty little villain like you turn me into a weak little-"
He stopped mid-sentence, cutting his words off before he could finish.
I blink surprised and blushed immensely hearing those words.
Realizing that he had said too much, he quickly changed the topic, a scowl on his face.
"Anyway, that's all in the past. It's done, I've moved on, and we have bigger things to focus on than some random one-night stand. So let's just forget about it and move on, shall we?"
I kept blushing and tilted my head. "You..think I'm pretty?
He hesitated for a moment before admitting it.
"Well, you're not displeasing to the eye I suppose. But let's not get carried away, your looks aren't enough to make up for your lack of intelligence and wit. There's more to a villain than just good looks, love. You may be pretty on the outside, but there's nothing to admire on the inside" he scoffed.
I smile as I blush grabbing his arm to hug him. Wanting to tease but also touched by his words.
He raised an eyebrow, surprised by my sudden display of affection. "What in the hell are you doing?" he said, a tinge of confusion in his voice
He let out a deep sigh, his annoyance momentarily forgotten as you hugged him. “Oh, fine, enjoy your little affectionate moment. But don’t think this changes anything between us, love. I still find you incredibly aggravating.”
I hum smirking and winked. "Okie dokie “Ugh, you're insufferable” he muttered, his annoyance returning. He rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but secretly feel a bit of warmth from my affection. “Now can we get back to the matter at hand? We have a mission ahead of us and I'd like to get it over with without any unnecessary distractions.”
I let got of him as Harley came to my side.  Harley, who had been observing the interaction between you and Clayface, couldn't help but chuckle.*l
"Looks like ol' Clayface is softening up a bit, huh? You got him wrapped around your finger, (Y/N)."
I smirk as I hear her. "Guess I do don't I?! I chuckle and you're lucky to have a guy like Joker so devoted to you Harley's eyes lit up at the mention of her relationship with the Joker.
"Ain't that the truth! My puddin' is one of a kind. Who needs a normal guy when you can have the Clown Prince of Crime himself, am I right? We're meant to be together!"
"Absolutely, Harls" I smile at my best friend, "Definetly a keeper"
Clayface rolled his eyes at the exchange between us two.
"Yeah, yeah, we get it. You two are both in love with crazed lunatics. Typical behavior for female villains, right? But when it comes to real villainy, I prefer my partners to be cunning, manipulative, and ruthless. Love is a weakness and I don't have time for that nonsense."
I pout a bit looking at him since I didn't expect him to be listening on us as Harley and I fangirled  and had a girl chat. "Yeah yeah keep saying that, Harley and Joker are the perfect couple.
He scoffed, shaking his head in amusement.
"Perfect couple? Please, they're just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Love never lasts in our world, especially not for criminals like us. One day, Joker will tire of Harley, and she'll be left shattered and broken. But hey, if you two want to idolize that mess, be my guest."
I held Harley back as she tried to grab him.
He raised the eyebrow, his expression a mixture of amusement and irritation.
"Oh, what's the matter, love? You don't like hearing the truth? That your precious Joker and Harley are just a recipe for disaster? Maybe you should face reality and realize that true villains don't waste their time on love. But go ahead, keep clinging to your delusions if it makes you feel better"
I sigh turning to Harley. "I'm sorry, Harls...don't listen to him you both are adorable together"
Harley scoffed, still trying to break free from your grasp.
“Yeah, (Y/N), I'm not gonna listen to him. My puddin' and I are meant to be, and nothing he says is gonna change that.” Clayface just smirked, clearly amused by the duo's fierce loyalty to their dangerous partners.
Of course! And you have my full support" I chuckle.
He chuckled, shaking his head at your supportiveness.
"Oh, how sweet. The two of you supporting each other’s delusions. It's like watching a pair of love-struck teenage girls with their first crushes."
"Well...duh?" I tilt my head
He rolled his eyes, clearly unamused by my attitude.
"Of course you would see it that way. But let me tell you something, love. Loving a villainous psychopath like the Joker isn't some romantic fairytale. It's a twisted, destructive path that only leads to heartache and ruin. But I suppose you two are too blinded by your naive notions of love to see it that way."
I blush as I look at him my eyes almost turning to hearts. So fun to tease him.
He raised an eyebrow, noticing the shift in my expression. The sight of you blushing and staring at him with hearts in your eyes was...unexpected.
“What's with that look, love? Are you getting sentimental on me now? It's not very villainous of you.”
Harley grabbed my face telling me to try and stop blushing.
He couldn't help but crack a slight smile at my flustered state.
"Oh, look at you. All embarrassed and flustered like a damsel in distress. Is there something I said that has you all tongue-tied, love?"
I blush looking away a bit. "Everything..idiot" I mutter.
He smirked, his amusement growing. "Ah, so I have that effect on you, do I? Well, as charming as that is, I'm afraid we have more serious matters to discuss than my ability to make you blush. We are in the midst of a mission, after all."
Fine fine *I sigh and turn to glare at the woman in charge. "Waller! What the hell do you want us to do?!" I ask our superior bitch.
Amanda Waller spoke up, her tone as cold as ever.
"Well, if you can stop bickering like children, I'll fill you in on the details. We have intel on a secret government facility dealing with advanced weaponry and experimental technology. Your mission is to infiltrate the facility, gather information, and sabotage their operations."
I sigh loudly and groan. "You're no fun, lady." Harley nods agreeing.
Waller fixed you with a stern gaze, unfazed by my attitude.
"I'm not here to be fun, Miss (Y/N). I'm here to ensure that we achieve our objectives. You all have been chosen for this mission because I believe you each possess...unique qualities that will help us succeed. So if you're done wasting my time, let's move on to the details."
I frown. He chuckled, enjoying my reaction to Waller's intimidating demeanor.
"Don't worry, love. I'm sure we'll find some way to inject a little fun into this mission. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of "unique qualities" she sees in us..." Waller continued on with the mission briefing, outlining the facility's security measures, layout, and potential threats.
Amanda Waller put Rick Flag to keep an eye on us along with his side kick Katana. Both serious about the mission.
Rick Flag, a no-nonsense soldier, stood by Amanda Waller's side, his eyes scanning over the group of criminals. Katana, meanwhile, stood quietly beside him, her sword glinting in the dim light.
"Our priority is to make sure this mission is successfully carried out," Flag said in a steely tone. "We'll be keeping a close eye on all of you."
A man on our team Peacemaker confronted him, seems like they'll be at each other's throats.
Peacemaker, a cocky ex-soldier, faced off with Rick Flag, his ego and brash attitude evident in the way he spoke.
“I don't need you babysitting me, Flag. I've got this.”
Flag glared at Peacemaker, clearly not amused by his arrogance.
“We're doing things by the book, Peacemaker. No solo heroics, got it?”
"Whoa whoa men let's try to not kill each other, okay?! We haven't even left prison yet" I say stepping between them.
Harley, ever the voice of (a different kind of) reason, chimed in..
“Yeah, fellas, let's not start this mission with a brawl, alright? We gotta play nice for now. Can't afford any in-fighting with Amanda Waller watching our every move.”
Flag nodded, clearly agreeing with the group’s sentiment.
“Fine. We’ll put aside our differences for now. But I’m warning you all—if any of you try anything that threatens this mission, I won’t hesitate to take necessary action.”
I roll my eyes but smiled. "Ready to serve under you!"
Rick Flag smirked a little at my sudden change in attitude.
“That's the spirit. Let's get loaded into the vehicles and make our way to the facility. Remember, once we're inside, we'll need to stick together and follow the plan. No going off on your own, got it?”
"Right!" We all said. We reached outside once we got rid of our prison clothes and into our civilian ones or villain ones as people would call it.
As the group of villains exchanged their prison uniforms for casual civilian clothes, they boarded the vehicles, ready to embark on their mission. The ride to the facility was tense, with the villains aware of the gravity of what they were about to undertake. Clayface glanced over at you as you got into the vehicle, his eyes locking on your civilian outfit.
"What?" I ask glancing up over to him
He shrugged, a cocky smile on his face.
”Just admiring the view. You know, even out of your villainess get-up, you're still a sight for sore eyes. Makes me wonder if you ever stop looking good."
Aww falling for me then? *I smirk blushing again.
He smirked and rolled his eyes, playing it cool.
“Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. I'm just appreciating a pretty face when I see one. It doesn't mean I'm falling for you or anything."
I huff pouting as I cross my arms over my chest.
Clayface chuckled, finding your pouting adorable.
"Aww, don't pout at me, love. You know I can't resist your little puppy dog eyes when you do that. But don't worry, I won't let myself fall for you... I'm far too cunning and heartless for that."
"Ha! See? Every guy falls for me" I sing
He rolled his eyes but couldn't help but chuckle at your confidence.
“Oh, is that so? Well, I must be the exception to that rule because I am utterly unbothered by your feminine wiles. I'm completely immune to your charms, love.”
"God damn it I'm gonna throw up" We heard Peacemaker say making me frown at him but not taking him seriously.
Clayface turned a glare towards Peacemaker, unimpressed by his comments. “Watch it, Peacemaker. We're all here to get this mission done. No need to be disrespectful. Besides, if you're feeling sick, try taking deep breaths or maybe even closing your eyes. Anything but spewing insults at others.”
"Huh?! You both are the ones making me sick not the car ride" he says pointing at Clayface and I. Having stoic expressions.
Clayface couldn't help but scoff at Peacemaker's words.
“Oh, I'm sorry if our presence is too much for you to handle. Perhaps we should ask Amanda Waller to arrange a separate transportation for you, given that you seem to be so easily nauseated by our mere existence.”
I roll my eyes "..typical men..." I whisper to Harley.
Clayface couldn't help but overhear my comment, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
“Oh, did you say something, love? I couldn't quite catch that. Care to repeat it for the entire team to hear?”
Didn't say a thing" I quickly reply.
He arched an eyebrow, clearly not believing you for a second.
“Oh, really? Is that so? Because it sounded like you just mumbled something about ‘typical men.’ Seems like you have quite the habit of muttering things under your breath, love.” I hum glancing at him as he sits to my right and Harley left, "shut up."
He chuckled, a smug grin on his face. “Oh, you never fail to amuse me, love. Maybe I should start a tally of all the times you tell me to shut up. I'm sure it'll be quite the impressive number by the end of this mission.”
I roll my eyes and we all remained silent during the long car ride. Harley has fallen asleep on my left shoulder and I began to close my eyes, nodding off and rested my head on my right where Clayface is.
Clayface noticed you dozing off, your head resting against his shoulder. For a moment, he pondered whether to wake you or let you sleep, but ultimately decided to allow you to rest. As he continued to keep watch, he couldn't help but notice the way your face looked so peaceful while you slept, your usual fiery demeanor completely absent.
I blushed as I remained deeply asleep.
Clayface found himself unable to resist a small smile as he observed your peaceful expression and the gentle blush on your cheeks. Despite his attempts to remain aloof, a hint of affection tugged at his heartstrings. The sight of you at peace reminded him that beneath your tough exterior, you were just a human being with emotions and vulnerabilities, just like himself.
*************
Don't know how long it has passed when the car stopped.
As the vehicle came to a halt, Clayface gently nudged you, trying to rouse you from your slumber.
“Time to wake up, love. We've arrived at the facility. And I've got to say, your drool on my shoulder isn't exactly the most flattering accessory.”
"Huh?!" I blushed fully waking up now, II quickly pull the sleeve of my jacket as I attempt to clean it. " I'm sorry, okay? You should've woken me up when you felt it"
He chuckled softly, clearly amused by my  reaction.
“It's fine, love. Accidents happen. But I must admit, the sound of you apologizing is a rare treat, especially considering your usual defiant attitude. Maybe I should keep you asleep more often. You're much more agreeable this way.”
"Ugh...don't you try to bring my apology up."  I warn.
He grinned, unable to resist teasing me.
“Oh, I plan to bring it up every chance I get, love. But for now, we've got a mission to focus on. Let's get this done, and then we'll see what else we can do to keep you in this more cooperative state.”
I grit my teeth and huffed stepping out and seeing a place which wasn't Gotham. "...where the fuck are we?"
Clayface followed closely behind you, his eyes scanning the surroundings.
“Looks like Amanda Waller has picked this place for the facility. No surprise there, she's always one to keep things under wraps. Judging from the scenery, we're probably in the middle of nowhere. No city in sight, just wilderness.”
Rick stepped forward with Katana.
Clayface glanced at Rick Flag and Katana, his expression a mix of curiosity and caution.
“Well, well, well, if it isn't the fearless leader Flag and his deadly sidekick Katana. How nice of you to join us. So, what's the plan, Flag? Are we just going to stand here in the middle of nowhere and admire the scenery, or is there a mission we're supposed to be undertaking?”
Rick said nothing and Katana remained silent as usual. Rick grabbed his equipment and told us all to follow him.
Clayface smirked at Rick's annoyed response, clearly amused by his irritation. He glanced at you and Harley, motioning for you to follow as they fell into step behind Rick and Katana.
I groaned "I hate walking...hey, carry me" I say behind him unashamed to ask.
He rolled his eyes, an amused smile playing at his lips.
“Oh, is our tough little villainess tired already? Wanting a ride, are we? And here I thought you'd be able to handle a little stroll on foot.”
I pout as I look away. "That's what you said last time about wanting a ride" I mutter on the..different type of ride he had asked.
He raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by my innuendo. His smirk widened, as he responded with a teasing tone.
“Well, love, if you think this walk is too much for you, I suppose I could give you a ride. But only because I can't resist seeing that adorable pout on your face.”
I hum and quickly got behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
He couldn't help but chuckle, easily lifting me up in his arms as he carried me in hud back.
“Well, aren't you quite the opportunist? Ready for your chariot, love? Just don't get too comfortable, I might just toss you around if you start getting too cheeky.”
"Hey hey! Very careful on tossing me!" I warn as I glare and blushed. "and quit touching my ass!"
He smirked at the warning, clearly enjoying teasing me.
“Oh, I'll be careful, love. I wouldn't want to upset my precious passenger and get a well-deserved beating from you. But as for your rear, well, it's a bit hard to avoid when you're this close to me. Perhaps you should be the one being more careful.”
"If you let me fall me I'll kill you" I warn as I hold onto his shoulders as he carries me from behind.
He laughed lightly, his voice full of mock concern.
“Oh, such a threat! I promise not to dump you, love. After all, it'd be a shame to lose my human backpack so soon. But keep making those endearing threats of violence, I have to say I do find them quite charming.”
I silently hum and smiled to myself as I rested my head on his shoulder as I held him and he continued to carry me. Only this mission will tell if we'll get closer to each other.....
60 notes · View notes
winchestergirl2 · 9 months ago
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February Reading Recs
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To show some love and appreciation to all the amazing writers here on tumblr, here are all the fantastic fics I've read this month. 💖
Many of these fics and blogs are 18+ only, and NSFW please heed the author's individual fic warnings and requests regarding no minors. I am not responsible for your media consumption.
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2023 Reading Recs | 2024 Reading Recs
Walker
Cordell Walker
Quieting the Demons Inside @idreamofplaid
Authors Summary: Cordell opens up to the reader, and his vulnerability takes their relationship to the next level.
Privacy @idreamofplaid
Authors Summary: Cordell is a passionate man, but he’s a dad too. It doesn’t mean he has to choose between the two.
Texas Nights @stefanmikaleson1864
Dawsons Creek
CJ Braxton
Something Like This @thebiggerbear
Authors Summary: A Nor'easter hits Boston and luckily for you, you don't have anywhere you need to be except right here snuggled up with CJ.
My Bloody Valentine
Tom Hanniger
Lonely Dancers @mind-empty-just-fictional-people
Authors summary: when your boyfriend cheats on you, it leads you to tom hanniger
10 Inch Hero
Boaz Priestly
Code Red @zepskies
Authors Summary: When you call him for help, Priestly realizes that he finally has the relationship of his dreams.
High School Never Ends Part 1 | Part 2 | @illshakeyouallnightlong-dean
Supernatural
Dean Winchester
Hollow @thoughtslikeaminefield
Authors Summary: @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ submitted this prompt to @cabin-fever-bang​ “Would anyone be willing to write something with Dean [or Jensen] x reader to the song Love on the Brain by Rihanna -xx”
Fire & Rain Masterlist @writercole
Authors Summary: When a fire destroys her place to live, Y/N and her daughter Lana are left with nowhere to go and no one to count on, except the kindness of a beautiful, green-eyed firefighter that saved their lives. Will the pair of them make it through the obstacles life has dealt them or will they crash and burn?
Just Another Day @1000roughdrafts
Authors Summary: Fluffy Dean x female!reader Valentine's Day post
Don't Forget It @hintsofhoney
Authors Summary: While working a case with Dean, he gets jealous of the way you interact with a suspect and decides to remind you who you belong to.
Sam Winchester
You're On Your Own Kid Part 1 @my-proof-is-you
Authors Summary: You’re used to being on your own. You’d been on your own as long as you could remember. Could Sam show you that it isn’t the only way to live?
Untitled Sam Winchester Fic @supernaturalfreewill
Big Sky
Beau Arlen
Febuwhump Day 10 @luci-in-trenchcoats
Febuwhump Day 14 @luci-in-trenchcoats
Febuwhump Day 21 @luci-in-trenchcoats
Whole Lotta Love @deanbrainrotwritings
Authors Summary: beau finds a way repays the reader after taking care of him when he’s injured, but also to apologise for worrying her. but most importantly, to prove he was okay.
The Way We Fall In Love @smellingofpoetry
Authors Summary: This is the story of how they fall in love.
The Boys
Soldier Boy
Febuwhump Day 12 @luci-in-trenchcoats
Side Effects of Soldier Boy @tom-whore-dleston
Authors Summary: Soldier Boy tries to keep you quiet during sex.
Smallville
Jason Teague
Febuwhump Day 7 @luci-in-trenchcoats
66 notes · View notes
formula-hamilton · 2 years ago
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Antarctica (Lewis Hamilton x Reader)
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Lewis Hamilton x Reader
Summary: You and Lewis have been dating for some months when suddenly the video of him in Antarctica with a girl on his lap emerges. 
Word count: 3.8k
Warnings: Angst, stupid Lewis, swearing, mentions of cheating, but not really (no real infidelity), fluff.
A/N: I wrote this because I really wanted to read this type of fic as soon as I saw the hot tub video. If anyone has written anything similar, please tag me because I live for these kind of fics and I would love to read it. Also I obviously don’t know what went down in Antarctica, so this is purely fiction. No hate to the hot tub girl. 
-- 
Stupid. So stupid.
That was how you felt as you sat at your desk at work staring at your phone. Just almost wanted to roll your eyes at your stupidity. Instead you closed your eyes and tried to hold back the tears you felt prickling behind your eyelids. 
You were supposed to leave work early this Friday. Lewis was going to fly you out to LA to celebrate his birthday Saturday and then you were going to stay with him for the coming week. He was going to introduce you to his friends. A few you had already met, but he insisted that it was time for you to meet the rest of them. 
You’re gonna love them, I just know it.
No need to be nervous about it baby, I’ve told them loads about you and they already love you.
He would always beam with excitement when talking about them. His smile would hold so much pride. 
You felt stupid for assuming. For being naïve. You never talked about being exclusive. Meeting friends, meeting family, you assumed that the two of you were serious about each other. That you were on the path to making your relationship official. Sitting at your desk you came to the realization that this thing wasn’t a relationship. It was clearly just a situationship and honestly that wasn’t what you were looking to find yourself in.
Maybe this is how it is dating someone not normal, you thought. Maybe there are different rules to follow. You hadn’t realized this before, but clearly the two of you were living in two different realities. 
For Christmas he brought you on his family’s ski trip. Just for a few days as you had your own commitments for the holidays. But he brought you, introduced you to everyone, held your hand in front of his family, kissed you in front of his family, called you his when you were in bed at night. He never called you his girlfriend and that didn’t bother you until now. You didn’t even spare it a thought until now. When you were younger, you and your friends always joked that if you kissed someone in public in daylight, it meant that you were official. If meeting family wasn’t enough to make a relationship official, to make it exclusive, you really didn’t know what it would take. 
24 years old. The woman, if you could even call her that, was 24 years old. That was all everyone talked about. Apparently this was not unusual for Lewis. Apparently she was just his type. Young and beautiful and a model. But still, Twitter was going crazy. 
Normally you didn’t indulge in gossip surrounding Lewis and F1 in general. You didn’t even seek out this piece of information yourself. Your younger sister sent you the video on Instagram. You almost missed the ending where Lewis sat in the hot tub having the time of his life with someone sitting on his lap. 
You wish you could erase it from your brain. Go back to the fantasy in your head. But you couldn’t. Instead you found yourself dug down in a Twitter hole trying to soak in every single detail possible. What stuck to you the most was how they apparently used to see each other in the past. If that wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was. You normally thought it was crazy how people found so much information about celebrities. You and Lewis always joked about it. Joked about how the fans would make great detectives. And then you would laugh about how none of them had any clue about the two of you. 
You were a very well kept secret. You both liked it that way. It made everything easier. Made the whole “getting to know each other” stage more simple. Obviously, people close to you knew, but the public didn’t. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was part of Lewis’ grand plan. By keeping his flings secret he could have one in every city he visited. Maybe you were just his London bed warmer. 
Silly of you to think that dating in your thirties would bring more maturity to the table. Honestly, the men were just as immature and on top of that, they brought all the baggage from shitty relationships in their twenties. For some reason you thought Lewis was different. Your heart ached for him to be different. 
You almost jumped out of your chair when you heard a knock on the door. Fuck. You quickly blinked the tears away and sat up straight before calling for the person to enter. Your boss poked his head in.
“I didn’t expect to see you here still, don’t you have a flight to catch?” He asked. 
“Yeah, but I have quite a lot of work to do so I think I might just stay a bit longer,” you said while trying to smile without it looking forced. You must have looked weird because he looked worriedly at you. “Really. It’s no trouble. I still have time before I have to leave for the airport, and if not I can always take a later flight.”
“Well, do whatever suits you, but remember to relax during your vacation. You deserve it,” he said while smiling. As he left, you slumped back down in your chair. You looked up at the ceiling while massaging your temples. What the fuck am I gonna do? You thought. 
It was clear to you that going to LA wasn’t an option. You didn’t want to continue whatever the two of you had going on. You didn’t want a casual thing. You had even told Lewis that. Told him that you were finally content with your career and was ready to pursue a serious relationship. You had shared your thoughts and your dreams for the future. You thought that he wanted the same things even though you hadn’t explicitly talked about in the context of your relationship.  
You knew that you were falling for him. You thought that he was falling for you as well. Stupid of you to assume when none of you had said the words. 
Your phone buzzed on the table. It was a text from him. You quickly opened it. 
Have a safe flight baby. Looking forward to seeing you again x 
Your eyes narrowed as you read the text again and again. Surely he must have seen the things being said about him in Antarctica. Or someone must have told him. His lack of explanation annoyed you immensely. It proofed to you that he didn’t even view it as mistake as you had maybe hoped he would. Clearly you were the one on the wrong page. 
You wiped a few angry tears that had escaped and typed out a reply. 
I have decided against going. Sorry for the late call, but I’ve realized we clearly want different things and I think it would be a mistake going knowing it would just postpone the inevitable. I hope you enjoy your birthday. All the best. 
As you hit send you noticed your shaking hands. You hastily turned off your phone and shut down your computer before grabbing your coat and bag. You almost ran out the office and decided to walk home instead of taking the tube. The thought of the tube right now was almost enough to send you into a full blown panic attack. You needed fresh air and to clear your head. 
--
As you shut the door behind you to your flat, you almost stumbled over your packed suitcase. “What a fucking shitty day, for fuck’s sake,” you mumbled to yourself, as you pushed the suitcase away and kicked off your shoes. Finally, you reached your destination, your bed. You told yourself that you would spent the weekend indulging in self-pity and then Monday you would try to find something to do for the rest of your stupid work break. 
But of course the tears wouldn’t come now that you were finally in the safety of your own home. You decided that they needed a little push and therefore turned on your phone again and found a playlist on Spotify named “Sad songs”. Perfect, hopefully that would get the job done. The messages popping in on your phone didn’t go unnoticed by you, but you chose to ignore them. Instead you opted to go to Instagram again to speed up the pity party. 
After taking a quick scroll through her Instagram you decided to spare yourself for further damages. There was no need to start comparing the two of you, that would only make matters worse. This was about Lewis. It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t commit. Whilst putting down your phone, you finally felt the tears making their way. As you sobbed your way to sleep that night, you kept wishing that this would all just be a bad dream. 
--
When you woke up the next morning you had an awful headache from clenching your jaw too tight all night. Rolling to your side, you grabbed your phone. 8AM the display read. You’d slept for almost 12 hours. You couldn’t ignore all the notifications anymore. You quickly answered your sister that you were okay and that you had ended things with Lewis. Some of your friends had texted you and wished you a nice trip. You chose to ignore those messages. You would fill them in at a later time. Lastly, you got to Lewis’ texts. He had also called you numerous times. 
Please pick up the phone
Has something happened? I’m really worried. Pls call me
I just wanna talk to you to make sure you’re alright. I’m sure we can fix it baby
I just saw the video. I’m so sorry, it isn’t what it looks like. Just let me explain
Nothing happened with her, I promise you. I would never do that. Just pick up the phone so we can talk
You tossed your phone to the bottom of your bed. You were so angry. Both at him and at yourself. You were angry about his excuses. You had heard them all before and in the end it always turned out to be true. Where there’s smoke there’s fire, your past experiences told you. You were angry at yourself for trusting him, for letting him into your life. For hoping that what you had was genuine. It had all been too good to be true. 
--
As the days went by, you got better and better. You were hoping to book a vacation for somewhere sunny, but they were all too expensive because it was so last minute. Instead you found yourself content with living in your bed and catching up on all your favorite tv shows. Lewis kept calling and you kept ignoring his calls. You almost felt bad about it because of his birthday Saturday, but then you decided he could fuck off. If this had affected his birthday it was his own fault. Monday afternoon you were dozing off while watching the newest season of Grey’s Anatomy. Suddenly the doorbell woke you up. You hurriedly wiped some droll from your chin and tried to fix your hair in a ponytail before waddling to the door. 
As you opened the door Lewis appeared with the biggest bouquet of flowers you had ever seen in your life. You almost wanted to shut the door on his face and just go back to sleep. As if he could read your mind he stepped forward just enough for you to be unable to close the door.
“Please let me in baby. Let me explain everything,” he quietly pleaded. He looked like a wounded puppy. Dark circles under his big sad eyes. You had never seen him like this before. Always happy and positive Lewis. Sometimes too positive, you had thought before. Seeing him like this made you realize that you’d rather see him disgustedly positive, than this sad ever again. 
Deep in your mind you had a feeling he might show up like this. You were now wishing that you had just picked up the phone so you could be spared this interaction with him. Nevertheless, you gestured for him to enter your home. You noticed how he glanced at the forgotten suitcase in the entryway. 
“So, explain away,” you told him as you both stood in your living room. You with crossed arms and him with that ridiculously big bouquet in his arms. 
“I’m really sorry about that video,” Lewis began slowly, as if he wanted to test the waters. You scoffed and cut him off. 
“You’re sorry about the video? What the fuck Lewis? Did you expect me to not find out or what? Or did you think I wouldn’t care?” You angrily said. “Fuck the video, I’m glad I saw it. I probably never would have known if your friend wasn’t stupid enough to share it. I’m glad that guy was so stupid. At least he spared me wasting any more time on you, on us. I can’t believe I thought there was an us.” You felt the tears were about to appear once again and wiped them away with your shaking hands before it got too bad. 
“You know what? I kept feeling stupid and angry at myself for thinking we were something real. But I realized I’m in my full right to feel angry at you and not at myself. I don’t know what delusional celebrity world you’re living in, but in the real world, stuff don’t work like that. Bringing someone round for Christmas kinda means that you are not fucking some Instagram model the week after in Antarctica!” You yelled at ham. You had never yelled at him before and Lewis wished for you to never do it ever again. He hadn’t understood the seriousness of the whole situation before now. 
“I, I didn’t. I didn’t sleep with her,” Lewis said with eyes so wide it looked like they might pop out. If it wasn’t such and awful situation you might have laughed. He took a few breaths and seemed to collect his thoughts. 
“I know what it looks like, but nothing happened. She sat on my lap because there wasn’t other seats. I didn’t think, we were all drinking, and I didn’t think anything about it. I can see now how it looks from the outside, but that was the closest I was to her the whole week. I know that people are saying the she was my guest, but I didn’t invite her for the trip. She was with some other guy. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by pushing her away. I know you probably know about our history and I didn’t wanna be an asshole to her, but it was wrong of me to have her sitting on my lap like she was my girl.” The tears welled in Lewis’ eyes. He felt absolutely awful for the way he had made you feel. 
“I understand if it’s over between us, but it’s very important for me that you know I didn’t cheat on you. I know that’s your worst fear in a relationship and I would never ever do that to you,” Lewis finished and tried to make eye contact with you. Tried to get a sense of what was going on in your head. You looked down at your feet and closed your eyes. Trying to think of what to say. What to believe. You wanted to believe ham, but a part of you wasn’t ready to let go of the doubt. 
“You looked very comfortable with her sitting there. Very happy.” You finally looked up and your eyes met. Only for a second though. This time Lewis was the one to look down. 
“I wasn’t. I was happy with my friends, but I wasn’t happy with her sitting there. As soon as there was a free seat I pushed her off me and she sat there instead. I am so sorry that I let her sit there in the first place, but I promise you, nothing more happened between us.” Lewis felt his tears well over and run down his cheeks. He tried to wipe them with his shoulder seeing as his hands were full, but it didn’t really work. 
“Bringing you to meet my family was so special to me. I haven’t introduced anyone to my family in years. This isn’t something I just do with anybody. Since we met in September you have become such an important part of my life and I haven’t opened my heart to anyone like this before. I’m so sorry for hurting you and making you think you’re stupid. I’m the only one stupid here. This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I’m in love with you. I’m so sorry that these are the circumstances I’m telling you under, but you deserve to know, ” Lewis looked in your eyes and tried to read your feelings. His eyes were filled with hope. You just stared at him while nibbling on your bottom lip and he couldn’t decipher what you were thinking. He decided to break the silence. 
“These are for you,” he said while handing you the flowers. “I hope that you can find it in yourself to forgive me, but I’m gonna leave you to it. Once again, I just wanna say how sorry I am.” As you stood there with the bouquet, Lewis slipped out of your living room and out of your flat. Out of your life, just as you had wanted. 
You stood and watched the flowers in front of you. Thoughts running wild in your head. Thoughts about how people always brought baggage from previous relationships. You never thought it applied to you. Yes, Lewis had made a mistake, but you didn’t have any reason to not believe his words. He hadn’t given you any reason to believe that he was like your exes. It wasn’t right of you to let past trust issues follow you into this thing with him. You had finally made a decision.
The flowers got thrown on the table and you ran to the suitcase in the entryway. Zipping it open, you threw the clothes on the floor until you finally found what you were looking for. A little box wrapped in green gift wrap with small bulldogs on it, tied up with little gold bow. You slipped on some sandals and ran down the stairs. The cold January air hit you hard as you ran to the street. You were only wearing sweats and a t-shirt. You looked around you, trying to search for Lewis. Hoping he hadn’t already left. You jogged down the street and frantically tried to see if you could spot him. 
As you crossed the street, you finally spotted his car. Parked, just a couple of cars in front of you. You let out a breath of relief and slowly walked towards it. As you got closer you could see Lewis sitting in the driver’s seat with his head in his hands. It was obvious that he was crying and you felt a deep sting in your chest. Carefully, you knocked on the window to the passenger seat, trying not to startle him. You didn’t succeed as he jumped slightly in his seat. When he looked at you, you smiled softly and give him a small wave. He leaned over and pulled the handle on the door for you.
As you sat down just rested your hands in your lap and held the small gift on your thigh. 
“I’m in love with you too Lewis. These past four months with you have been the most amazing months in my life. I’ve been so happy, but I’m also so scared to get hurt again. Obviously I don’t approve of the hot tub situation, but I know it was wrong of me to shut you out like that. It’s difficult for me to trust people, but I already trust you so much even though we haven’t known each other for that long.” You took a deep breath. “What I wanna say is, I forgive you and I wanna give us a go. Officially.”
Your hands reached out to Lewis’ face. You wanted to wipe his tears away, to wipe away any sadness he might feel in the future. He looked at you with the kindest eyes you had ever seen in your life. You had never seen eyes as beautiful as his before. As your fingers stroked his cheeks you hesitantly leaned in. Noticing what you were trying to achieve, Lewis did the same and met you halfway. When your lips finally touched after being apart for two weeks, you knew that this was the right decision. One of Lewis’ hands found your hair while the other found your thigh. Nothing had ever felt so right in your life. 
Remembering the gift, you pulled away from Lewis. 
“I have something for you. For your birthday.” You handed him the small box.
“You shouldn’t have.”
“I know. I wanted to.”
Lewis smiled at your choice of wrapping paper. He carefully tore off the paper. Inside was a small jewelry box. Inside the box was a necklace with a small moon pendant. 
“Remember the moon on our second date?” You asked and he nodded, smiling so big he thought his face might break in two. 
“Of course I remember baby. The moon was so bright that night. You looked so beautiful in the moonlight.”
“You looked so handsome as well and I remember thinking already back then that you were someone special. Someone I wanted in my life. And then you later told me to always look at the moon when I’m missing you. That that was what you did when you missed me and I just thought that was so sweet. Every time I miss you I look at the moon and I instantly feel better. So I wanted to give you something so you always have me with you when we’re not together. Your own little moon,” you told him while smiling.
“Thank you so much sweetheart, this is the best birthday gift I ever could have wished for,” Lewis beamed while pulling you into his chest. You crawled onto his lap and straddled him. He took your face in his hands. “I really love you,” he told you before connecting his lips to yours once again. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip and you instantly gave him access to your mouth. As you started to grind down on him, he interrupted the two of you.  
“Come on, let’s go upstairs again baby. I wanna show you how much I’ve missed you,” Lewis said with a smirk as he pulled you off him. You let out a small whine at the loss of contact, but eventually gave in. You held hands with swinging arms and you both laughed as you ran back to your flat. 
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agendabymooner · 1 year ago
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colour me your colour || toto w. x ofc (1)
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Summary: Tilly Marie nearly loses faith in her passion as she refuses to listen to everyone who told her to quit. Everyone but one. And it’s the man she met years ago at a racing event she didn’t want to attend. Who would have thought that her father’s partial ownership of three brands could take her to the zone of Mercedes and meet the love of her life?
Content warning: Age gap, mentions of an absence of a father figure, brief use of explicit language, mentions of nepotism. Fictional family and business involved (Hearth family and Hearth Automotives Group).
Note: I did a funny haha series. I literally just started on this yesterday. I'm writing the third part right now, hoping to work on this as much as possible. Again, I am still new to F1?? Please forgive me.
Enjoy! xx
i. what a beautiful sight that was
   It was the year 2006. The 21-year-old me did not want to attend on behalf of my father’s role to whatever this business was he was handling. I remember being extremely confident about walking up the stage to get my master's. 
I had always been told to be an intelligent girl. One that utilizes her skills in any way possible. Everyone praised me, and my maternal grandparents encouraged me to continue my education. My paternal grandparents expressed their admiration with a pat on the head and a kiss. My mother hugged me tightly and hung nearly every certificate I had captured. My father, however… he couldn’t get over the fact that he never had a son—one who would run the company someday and perhaps become a world champion. 
He lacked boys for his fatherhood experience, so he turned to me and set a list of expectations he had of me. He was still as healthy as ever. He could bench if he felt like it. But he still wanted to instill some responsibility in his companies and passed it on to me. 
But I earned my master's in Journalism and was halfway through my Bachelor's in Marketing. What did I know about motorsport? 
This didn’t mean anything to my father. He wanted me to handle the business and pass it off to the next person if needed. He just wanted his surname to remain known in the industry and public. He trusted me to handle particular areas that he thought I could do. 
But it was 2006, and I wasn’t given the responsibilities until years after. I was simply in Dubai to watch and entertain myself while cameras tried to get a glimpse of me—the Heiress. I was the next to become a shareholder in the businesses my father and grandfather (and his father) had put their money on. I was an eye candy—the strong woman of the Hearth family. And I was just in Dubai to watch men race lap after lap while they stayed there for hours, like mad men. 
And my father didn’t even tell me anything. I’ve only been exposed to observation. But my brain wasn’t made to be awake for a day, and my eyes preferred a piece of entertainment from my research paper. 
But my mind gave me a little nudge and turned my head to look at the man who’ll have me thinking for years. His helmet was on his side, his fingers tapping to keep him focused. He was tall. He was tall and handsome—a deadly combination.
The combination was too deadly, and I only realized this when he caught me looking. I hadn’t turned my head quite fast enough as I continued to examine and annotate my anecdotal record, pretending that my face wasn’t blushing.
It turned out he was just as intrigued as he was handsome. Fucking great. He sat across the chaise lounge I stiffly sat on, his smile I could barely see from my peripheral vision. 
Knowing he probably wouldn’t leave, I stopped pretending I was studying and looked up only to see his lips spread in amusement. His smile. Oh god. Couldn’t this man be the perfect man to have existed?
“You’re not here to study,” he chuckled softly, “Because you’d be in the wrong place otherwise.” 
Of course, I hadn’t passed up the chance to roll my eyes jokingly. 
The conversation lasted forever, and not once did he gloss over the screens to see how his team was doing at the track. He listened to me as I complained about the research I had to do for book publications. He wondered how I’d gotten through my master's at 21. Then he decided to guess while I provided my answer too.
“You’re gifted.”
“Generational wealth.” 
Then silence filled the atmosphere as if we could only hear the people talk in the background. My laughter after the pause made his mouth grin as he silently laughed. One of us was more biased than the other, I thought to myself. My success at school came from the high 90s that I achieved. My family's money made it easier for me to get in without any trouble with tuition. 
But the conversation didn’t last as long as I thought it would have, as someone who wore the same racing suit came barging at the door. The man frantically gestured for my company to follow him. 
He looked at me, his eyes keeping me in one place as I shifted. He could only say, “It was nice talking to you.” 
And all I could offer him was a stutter of, “Y- yeah, a pleasure to meet you. Y- your name is…” 
But his teammate beat him to it before he could utter his name. “Torger!” 
Then he looked at me again with a brief nod as he walked out of the room. 
He was a lovely man. There’s nothing nicer than an equally attractive and genuine man. I liked every single second that I spent with him. And I’ve only known him for fifteen minutes. 
And that remained as that. We’ve only known each other for fifteen minutes. When they announced the race winners, I was already on my flight back to England. I was already reporting to my father about what I saw. 
I told him about what I saw and experienced. But never once did I say to him about a driver of the winning team and how I’ve practically fallen for him. Because I haven’t fallen, he was just lovely. 
What a beautiful sight he was. 
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doctorprofessorsong · 2 years ago
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Destiel Fic Recs
Who needs to stuff your face with turkey when you can stuff your brain with fanfic? Fresh out of the oven, please enjoy these fic recs.
Raise the Black by valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) @valleydean (Explicit, 246k)
There are passion projects and then there is Raise the Black which takes it to a whole new level. It's not surprising that the author of The Shawnee Trail and A Ghost Story knows how to write historical fiction, but there are so many gorgeous bits of pirate life in this fic from the superstitions to the metaphors tied to the sea. 
The story is a Pirate AU. A chance encounter has left Cas, an officer from the Royal Navy, with a lasting obsession with Dean Winchester, the notorious pirate Captain of the Impala. When presented with the opportunity to defect and save his son from the abusive practices of the Royal Navy, Cas finds himself a part of Dean’s crew. 
I cannot overstate how good this one is. The underlying pirate mythology and superstition, the horny sparring, the epic battle scenes and of course the incredibly unhinged Dean and Cas that drive this story. The story had me anxious, like literally unable to focus on work because I had to know what happened.
It's @valleydean so she gives us a happy ending, but she makes us pay dearly for it in angst (so sexy of her really). 
And it isn't just the Destiel. The casting is phenomenal. I would die for pirate Meg. The use of the younger generation (Jack, Emma, Claire, Kaia) is amazing. Sam, Benny and Charlie as pirates. Truly we get so many great characters in this one y'all.
Without giving too much away, I'll just day that this one falls into the sweeping epic category and the results are staggering.
o weary traveler by dothraki_shieldmaiden @dothwrites (Explicit, 107k)
OK. So you know when you are in like Chapter 1 of a fic and already know it's going to be one of your favorites? That was this fic for me.
A mash-up of the Odyssey and Beauty and the Beast, this fic grabbed me and refused to let go. When Dean and his crew are shipwrecked on an island, they inadvertently anger its inhabitant, Castiel. Cas, an exiled angel, decides to take revenge, culminating in a Beauty and the Beast style pact for Dean to accept punishment on behalf of his wayward crew. 
Cas in this fic is very much an ancient being lacking the human perspective and Dean is just some guy who hunts monsters. It's my favorite dynamic. The way they dance around each other and eventually come together is beautiful to watch.
Throw in some delightful worldbuilding and poetic prose and you have a powerhouse of an epic tale.
The Common Hours by quiettewandering @wanderingcas (Mature, WIP 29k so far)
I very rarely recommend WIPs, so you know when I do it's because I think there's something special about the fic. I honestly think this one and the process of getting a bit more information each week is worth diving into, even if you are normally a "wait until it's done" kind of reader (and if not, this one is worth at least marking to be read with stars and highlights and little hearts).
The fic is a twisty mystery that has me throwing out theories every chapter. Cas is an amnesiac trying to recover from trauma he doesn't understand or remember. Luckily, he met Charlie who has been helping him rebuild his life. But Cas is haunted by half memories and a forgotten life, especially the memory of a man with green eyes who inhabits his dreams.
I don't want to say too much because half of the joy of this fic is pulling at threads and watching to see how it unravels. I'll just leave it at this: the story is captivating and fresh and these versions of the characters instantly grabbed me and wouldn't let go.
Vibrato by Tiamatv  (Explicit, 69k)
Tiamatv really does write some bangers. I couldn't put this one down. They are both disasters in this fic, but in a way that makes you to hug them and smoosh their faces. Dean meets a cute boy, has a full blown bi panic, realizes he was an ass, and strikes up a friendship that morphs into a friendship with benefits that morphs into basically a long term relationship but they're both idiots. It's idiots to lovers (but still idiots) at its finest.
Oh and also Cas is a super old genetic vampire. Whoops. One of the most delightful things about this fic is how well tiamatv captures the ancient and terrible being and also just some accountant dynamic that makes Cas so deeply loveable.
Despite some heavy stuff, this one is fluffy cotton candy most of the time and it's really about their irresistible dynamic. It is immensely readable.
The Sweetest Con by aimforsplendor @aimforsplendor (Mature, 19k)
If you are looking for some fairly low angst fun, this DeanCasBang (Taylor's Version) entry is an absolute delight. Dean and Sam are Robin Hood type con men using tech to steal from the rich and give to those who need it. They've finally found the head of a crime network, a billionaire resembling a particularly prominent and news worthy one recently which makes it fairly cathartic actually. But the mission is threatened when Dean gets sidetracked by a particular blue-eyed hottie.
This one is plain fun with a healthy dose of humor and really likeable characters. This one is truly just readable. Fun and fairly light and with enough interesting turns you keep you on your toes. 
Anything You Can Do by FagurFiskur (Explicit, 21k)
From the Dean Winchester is an absolute disaster genre, this is a surprisingly sweet, crack-taken-seriously smutty romp. 
Dean overhears his soon to be ex-girlfriend Daphne talking to a friend about how their mutual rebound relationship isn't working, especially because her gay ex-fiance, Castiel, was better in bed. Dean can't possibly let that stand. 
So he does the only logical thing and tracks Cas down. And hooks up with him. So he can win at the sex. Even though he's totally straight. 
Tag list
@varlysca @naturallyathief @greatbigbugger @fandoms-and-things @cascodedtech @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @deanwasalwaysbi @fellshish @valleydean @raspberry-tooth @the15yearhatecrime
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Hi, I hope you're having a great day :) your blog is amazing!!
Can you possibly do a Draco x female reader in which the reader is deaf and Draco falls in love with her. And he learns asl to be able to communicate with her.
Love language
A/N: After months I finally finished this request, I´m sorry it took me so long. To be honest, I struggled with writing this, since I had some problems putting myself into the position of a deaf reader. I only realized while writing this how often I use auditory stimuli to describe certain things. Also, I wasn´t quite sure how to write dialogues in sign language (I just kept on using direct speech because I have no idea how to do it differently, is that how you do it?). However, I did some research on perceptions of deaf people as well as asl, but I´m still not completely happy with how it turned out. So if you notice any parts where I screwed up, please tell me, so I can adapt the story and make it more realistic (as realistic as it gets writing about fictional characters and magic, but I think you get my point). Anyway, I hope you still enjoy reading!
The sun was shining bright today. You squinted your eyes and raised your head, facing the light. The warm days were drawing to a close and you wanted to cherish every single ray of sunshine on your skin. If it wouldn’t be for the cool breeze blowing through the courtyard, you would have never guessed, that fall was close.
You let out a small sigh as you returned your attention to the essay lying on your lap. If you would keep on getting distracted by things as simple as the beauty of that day, you would never be able to finish all of your assignments. But then again, wasn’t that what made life so amazing? Finding the beauty in even the smallest things? Not if you wouldn’t pass your exams at the end of the year because you couldn’t keep your attention on the parchment in front of you.
But just as you had finally managed to get back to work, a movement in the corner of your eye made you look back up again. You saw one of your friends approaching you, grinning at you as a greeting. You mirrored her smile. But instead of sitting down next to you, she stopped in front of you looking down at you.
“Are you coming?”
You raised an eyebrow as your gaze shifted from the movements of her hands to her eyes.
You raised your right index finger, shaking it slightly.
“Where?”
Your friend rolled her eyes.
“Class obviously.”
You took a look at your watch and cursed yourself. Over the assignment, you had totally forgotten the afternoon class. But by now, you still had some time.
“I just need to finish the paragraph real quick. You can go ahead.”
Your friend shrugged her shoulders.
“If you say so. But don’t be too late.”
You laughed.
“Don’t worry. I won´t be.”
“If you say so.”
Your friend threw you a distrustful glance before she made her way to the class.
Not even ten minutes later, you followed her. Even though you needed to walk a bit faster than usual, you were still good in time.
At least you were until you rushed around a corner and bumped into someone.
“Sorry.”, you mumbled.
But your counterpart didn’t seem to care about your excuse. Draco Malfoy was staring down at you with cold eyes. You could see his mouth moving quickly and from what you could read from his face, he didn’t seem to be exactly pleased by the situation.
Once the string of words coming from his mouth ended, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at you expectantly. But since you hadn’t heard a word coming from his mouth, you just looked at him with widened eyes.
“What, don’t want to answer me?”, he sneered, as you could read from his lips.
“Forgot I´m deaf?”, you answered, while bringing your index finger from your ear to your mouth.
You could literally see the rattling inside Draco´s brain until the penny dropped. Completely lost in his rage, he had actually forgotten that you couldn’t hear a single word coming from his lips. He opened his mouth, wanting to respond, before closing it again, with an irritated look on his face. You blamed it on the fact that his tirades were worthless towards you. You were for sure able to read the lips of other people, but only if they spoke slowly and clearly. And even though you had to admit that you wouldn’t have minded staring at Draco´s -how you had to admit- very beautiful lips for a bit longer, you knew that a conversation wouldn’t be exactly productive like that. But this was nothing you could fix.
With a swish of your wand, you conjured the bodyless hands, that had helped you out so many times before. Because when it came to communicating with people who weren’t able to understand sign language, as a wizard, you had a leading edge over the muggles. While the person who wanted to talk to you, just could ramble on however they pleased, you were able to conjure said hands, who would take over the signing for the person. You on the other hand could just use sign language, while your counterpart would hear your voice speaking. It wasn’t like you were completely unable to speak yourself, but since you had been deaf since you had been born, your pronunciation sometimes still made it hard for others to understand you when you had a longer conversation. And while your family and friends were all capable of signing, many people, including your Professors, weren’t able to do so, at least not to the extent when you were able to have a normal conversation with them or follow the classes. That´s why this complex spell was a brilliant way to make communication with others much easier, for you as well as others. Just like it did now.
Draco still looked slightly irritated and was searching for the right words.
“Honestly, we shared classes for years now. How could you forget?”, you signed, while you knew that Draco was able to hear the words as if you would be speaking to him directly.
“Sorry, I…”, Draco hesitated. One of the hands you had conjured, clenched into a fist and drew some circles in front of his chest before it froze in its position.
You couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your lips as you saw Draco´s ears turning slightly pink.
Draco and you had attended Hogwarts together ever since you turned eleven. But since you were in different houses, the two of you barely ever had any contact with each other. You highly doubted you had ever had an actual conversation, most likely due to the fact that Draco generally avoided talking to anyone who wasn’t a Slytherin, except if he wanted to bully them. But luckily, you had never been the victim of his attacks. So you were quite sure that you would remember if you would have ever interacted with the one and only Draco Malfoy, besides some group work in the classes you shared. But not only his reputation was the reason that Draco had by now definitely caught your eye more than a few times. Because overall, the tall Slytherin boy was -when he wasn’t bullying some first years at the moment- quite attractive. You often caught yourself staring at him during the classes or the meals, which was to you maybe even more unfavourable than others, since when your attention shifted to the blond boy in the classes, lazily resting his head on the palm of his hand, or playing with his rings, for some reason, you totally forgot looking at the hands dancing around the Professor's body, with the only purpose, that you would look at them and understand what they were teaching at the moment. But who would be able to concentrate on them when you could pay attention to things that were so much more interesting?
But the fact that Draco sometimes made your heart beat faster, even if you barely knew the boy, didn’t mean that you weren’t able to tease him in a situation like this. But as his stutter only got worse, you finally took pity on the boy and threw him a sweet smile.
“Nevermind. It´s alright.”
Draco seemed to be relieved by the fact that you weren’t actually upset with him. But how could you be, when his pale cheeks had taken an as adorable looking shade of pink as they did now?
“I was just in a hurry and I… just didn’t realize it was you. Sorry again.”
You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised that Draco actually properly apologized to you. From what you had heard about him, this happened very rarely.
“No. It´s fine. Really.”
Draco threw you a small smile, making your pulse speed up. You could have gotten lost in the way he looked at you. But then again, you knew that this was childish. You weren’t eleven anymore, not as easy to impress as you had been when you had first met Draco. You were by now grown up and totally able to get a grip on yourself again.
“You said you were in a hurry. Don’t want to hold you back then, I guess.”
Once again, Draco smiled at you.
“Don’t we have the same way?”
You frowned.
“Why did you walk in the other direction then?”
The Slytherin chuckled.
“You know there are many ways to reach one´s destination in this castle, don´t you, love?”
You blushed involuntarily as the nickname left his lips. Your gaze shifted from his fists crossed in front of his chest to his eyes, which held an amused sparkle within.
“What are we waiting for then?”, you asked and passed Draco without shooting him a second glance.
You could feel the vibration of his steps on the stone floor as he caught up to you. And when his arms slightly brushed yours and you looked up and saw the boy grinning down at you, you were quite certain that Draco was worth it to form your own impression about the boy and not listen to whatever anyone else was saying. In the end, it fell on deaf ears anyway.
But while you had been slightly concerned that after that meeting in the hallway, Draco would want the two of you to go back to being strangers, you had been wrong. From now on the Slytherin boy showed signs of recognition any time you saw each other. He smiled at you from the other side of the room or raised his hand as a greeting when your ways crossed. However, you barely ever talked to each other, since your friends were anything but a fan of Draco and they were not afraid to show. So when Draco approached you one day after Transfiguration class, they made it very clear, that he was anything but welcome. And while you thought that it was kinda adorable how protective your friends were over you when it came to the boy with the bad reputation, you still chided them for their behaviour as soon as Draco had left, with a -as you thought, or maybe just hoped- slightly disappointed look on his face.
And when you saw him a few days later in the library, you decided to tell Draco, that you -contrary to your friends- didn’t mind his company at all.
When you sat down next to him, the Slytherin looked up at you and seemed to be slightly surprised by the fact that you approached him. Still, he shyly returned the sweet smile you gave him.
“What are you doing?”, you asked.
Draco raised an eyebrow in amusement.
“What do you think I am doing in the library when I have a book and my homework in front of me, love?”
There it was again, the warmth flushing through your body, making your cheeks burn.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you´d mind starting a conversation.”
You rolled your eyes.
Draco leant back in his chair, crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at you with narrowed eyes.
“Do you? The other day, it didn’t look like that.”
You sighed.
“I know. Sorry about my friends. I…” You hesitated for a moment before you continued. “I really don’t mind your company.”
“Lovely.”, Draco said, but you could see by the look on his face that he didn’t exactly mean it. You cursed yourself for your poor choice of words.
“No, you got me wrong. It´s quite the opposite. I think I really enjoy your company actually.”, you corrected yourself.
Draco´s face softened again as he saw the way the blush on your cheeks darkened once more.
“You do?”
You nodded determined.
“Just so you know, I do so too.”, Draco said. Then he smirked. “At least I think so.”
You nudged the boy, making him laugh. The vibration went through your entire body, making you shiver.
But when Draco saw the deadly glare Madame Pince threw him, he quickly calmed down again.
“So you don´t mind if I keep your company for a moment?”
“As long as you want to.”
Studying with Draco was actually fun. At least as fun as studying could be. Draco was quite smart and the two of you completed each other just perfectly. While you helped the boy finish his essay, he gave you tips for the potion you had to prepare for Snape´s next lesson. Hours went by, but you barely noticed. Spending your time with Draco, made it pass so much faster than usual.
It was already dark outside when you finally dropped down your quill and leaned back in your chair. Draco did just the same, letting out a small yawn. You couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your face as you noticed how absolutely gorgeous he looked as he squeezed his eyes and the muscles of his yaw tensed. You didn’t even notice the way you were staring at him,until he did.
“Like what you see?”, he asked.
Once more this day, you flushed.
“You wish.”, you responded, trying to hide the fact, that Draco was right. Maybe even more than he knew. If he only knew how much you liked what you saw. How much you liked him. Way too much for your taste, regarding the little time you had spent with one another at this point. Still, you couldn’t help your heartbeat from speeding up as you saw the smug grin on Draco´s face, making you suspect he knew that you may had been not completely honest with him.
“Thanks for helping me with all this.”, you tried to distract, gesturing at the parchment and books, by now spread across all over the table.
“It´s fine.”
You looked at Draco in surprise. Because this time, he hadn’t used his voice and the magic hands to talk to you. Instead, he had made an expansive gesture, extending the fingers of his right hand, bringing it to the middle of his chest, thumb facing him.
Draco seemed to misinterpret your dumbfounded look because he looked at you concerned.
“Did I use this wrong?”, he asked, now using the help of the enchanted hands again.
“No, it´s…” You noticed your hands shaking slightly. How was this boy able to put you off your stride that easy? “How do you know this?”
“So it was correct?”, Draco made sure.
You smiled at him brightly.
“It was. Really good actually. How did you learn this?”
Draco shrugged his shoulder, trying to make his face look unfazed.
“It´s no big deal. You´re doing it all the time, don’t you?”
At this moment, Draco wasn’t exactly sorry that you couldn’t hear him. Because that way you couldn’t notice how proud his voice sounded. Because little did you know that after you had talked to him for the first time, back in that corridor, for some reason, Draco wasn’t able to get you off his mind again. And that the following days, he spent much time thinking how the hell he was going to not only approach you again but would also be able to impress you. And one day, as he watched you being engaged in a conversation with your friend, the two of you gesturing with your hands in a way, that looked to Draco like a secret language, just like to most of the people around you, that looked to Draco like a bonding between the two of you, something creating a special relationship, he knew what he had to do. He wasn’t quite sure yet why he wanted it -or maybe he did, he wasn’t even quite sure of that- but he wanted to share that bond with you as well. He didn’t want to need a stupid spell to be able to talk to you, didn’t want those stupid second pair of hands around him. He wanted to do it himself. Wanted your attention to be focused on him and him completely and wanted to understand the way your hands danced around you so effortlessly. And that´s why the same evening, Draco Malfoy started learning a new language. And he was engaged to it like he had never been for any exam. But the fact that you were smiling at him now oh so sweetly, and the shimmer in your eyes that made his pulse speed up, confirmed to him, that it was worth every single second.
“Yes, but it´s my first language. I grew up with it.”
Draco shrugged his shoulders once more.
“I just picked up on some things you did. It ain´t that hard.”
He was Draco Malfoy after all. He had a reputation to lose. There was no way he would ever admit that he had spent nights trying to hone his movements and learning as many phrases as humanly possible in that short time.
You tilted your head slightly and looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“So you watched me?”
Draco cursed himself. In his eagerness to try to hide the effort he had put into impressing you, he had accidentally slipped another thing he originally didn’t intend you to know.
“You wish.”, he said, copying the way you had tried to hide the fact that he had been calling you out before.
You chuckled.
“Maybe I do.”, you answered and winked at the boy, who felt the blush creeping back on his cheeks as you did so, which made you only laugh.
And when Madame Pince finally had enough of all your giggling and kicked you out of the library, this by far wasn´t the end of the evening.
And since that day, you couldn’t care less about what others were thinking about Draco. Because as time went by, you got to spend more and more of it with him and you loved every single second of it. You loved the warmth that filled up his eyes every time he looked at you, accompanied by the small grin that always played around his lips, and only grew smugger when he realized you were staring at him. You loved his lightweight touch lingering on your skin and the way it sent chills down your spine every single time. You loved the way you recognized the vibration of his steps or the scent of his cologne even when he wasn’t in your field of vision yet. You loved the way he frowned when he tried to understand what you were saying without your communication spell and the way he tried to communicate without any external help as well. Sometimes, when he was using sign language to talk to you, your thoughts drifted off, not focused on the meaning of the movements anymore, but on the way his hands moved carefully, as if he was afraid to say something wrong, the way he sometimes froze in the middle of the movements, trying to remember the next one, the way the rings on his fingers sparkled in the light of the candles lighting up the walls of the castle or the sunlight. And slowly, the realisation started to set in, that you didn’t just love all those things about Draco, but that you simply loved him. And you swore that this was the best feeling you had ever experienced in your entire life. Especially in those moments when you thought that Draco might feel the same. When you saw how his gaze softened when you were around, the way you made him laugh like you barely ever saw it when he was around others, how eager he was to learn your language, and how he sometimes just rested his head on his hand and just looked at you with this stupid beautiful smile on his face that made you blush every single time. Yes, you were in love with that boy, and little did you know that he was in love with you just as much.
By now, it was already spring. The day Draco and you had properly talked for the first time by now felt as if it had happened in another life, but then again you remembered it like it was just yesterday.
You were standing on the Astronomy tower, enjoying the cool breeze that blew up here, while you watched the hustle and bustle on the school grounds as you waited for the exact boy your thoughts were circling about right now.
And once more, you smelt his cologne before he even approached you. Yet, you only tore your gaze apart from the hurly-burly as he leant on the railing next to you. As you looked up at him and saw Draco smiling down at you, you returned it without hesitation.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Waiting for you obviously.”
Draco raised an eyebrow.
“You missed me?”, he asked with a teasing grin on his lips.
“You know I always do.”, you responded.
For a while, the two of you just chatted about all different kinds of topics. But today, Draco seemed to be a bit distracted. He was biting his lip and shifted from one foot to the other the entire time. And while normally, by now, he was more than capable of having a small conversation with you in sign language, he seemed to mess up even the simplest sentences today. Also, you noticed that his hands were slightly shaking.
And when Draco in the middle of a sentence brought his hand to his forehead, insulting you as a bastard, even if that made totally no sense in the context of what he was telling you, you stopped him, by catching his hands with yours, before the boy would get himself in too deep.
Draco stopped his report in the middle of the sentence, looking at your small hands cupping his bigger ones as if he was mesmerized.
“What´s wrong?”, you asked him with a concerned look on your face.
But Draco just shook his head.
“Nothing.”
But the way he was avoiding your gaze told you differently.
When you placed one of your hands on his cheek, Draco flinched and tensed under your touch, but nevertheless, he gave in to you gently forcing the boy to look at you.
“You can tell me everything. Promised.”, you signed, before interlocking his fingers with yours.
Draco looked at you. You could see the hesitation in his eyes. He seemed to fight with himself before after a few moments he made a decision. Draco brought your hands that were still holding his to his mouth, placing a small kiss on them, making you smile slightly, before he let go of you.
“There´s something I need to tell you. Something I wanted to tell you for a long time.”
You nodded and smiled at him encouragingly.
With a swish of his wand, Draco made the hands you had conjured as usual to support the conversation disappear.
Then, slowly, as if he wanted to control even the slightest movements of him, he raised his hands, his eyes never leaving yours. With his right index finger, he pointed at his chest, before crossing both of his arms in front of it, making some fists with his hands, before pointing at you. Then Draco cleared his throat and buried his hands in the pockets of his robe. He lowered his head, letting his eyes flicker around the tower for a moment, before he glanced up at you, looking at you in apprehensive anticipation.
You looked at the boy, lips slightly parted, eyes wide open. In your head, you played his movements over and over again.
“I love you.” That´s what Draco had just signed. Had it been a mistake? Had he messed up the signs, like he had done many times before today? But then again, everything somehow perfectly made sense. It would explain why he had been so nervous before and why he was looking at you like this now, his eyes filled with anxiousness, yet he still looked hopeful.
But the hope faded with every second that passed. And only when Draco wanted to turn away already, you finally awoke from your rigidity and held him back.
Draco obeyed, as he forced himself to look at you again.
You mirrored Draco´s movements, pointing at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest, before you pointed at yourself. The look on your face was questioning.
Draco gave you a short nod and threw you a sad smile, misinterpreting the shock on your face as a rejection. But then, the confused look on your face gave way to the brightest and most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Slowly, you raised your hands again, repeating the movements in reversed order, pointing at yourself first. Draco´s eyes widened, and your smile brightened as you repeated the movement, faster this time.
“You love me too?”, Draco mouthed.
He needed to make sure. Needed to make sure his eyes weren’t fooling him, that he wasn’t dreaming this.
You nodded eagerly.
“I love you too.”, you confirmed out loud.
Even though you couldn’t hear it, for Draco the sound of your voice saying these four little words was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.
And as he pulled you in a tight embrace, burying his head in the crook of your neck, you could feel his hot breath on your skin and his lips moving against it, as he repeated the words over and over again: “I love you.”
When you finally pulled back, you only did so to lean in again in the next moment. Draco´s eyes darted from yours to your lips as he asked a silent question. And instead of answering, you just closed the gap between the two of you and pressed your lips on his.
You had never felt anything like this before. It felt like a firework exploding inside you, a warmth spreading from where his lips gently moved against yours through your entire body. You could taste him on your tongue, felt his hands on your hips pulling you closer to him, the vibration of his voice as Draco let out a small groan.
And when you finally pulled back, panting, and you looked into Draco´s eyes, you knew everything he was feeling or thinking right now. You didn’t need any words for this, neither spoken nor signed. And if you were honest, you highly doubted that any words could describe this moment in any language anyway.
Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @army24—7 @lbhmoon @cappgyuccino @writingwitch007 @myomy0ss @tinafuentes @dmslvt @slytherin4eva
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midwestmade29 · 10 months ago
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Collaboration 🤠
Part 3
The 3rd and final part of mine and @madhatterbri’s collab is here! Thanks for reading along…enjoy 🖤
• You can find @madhatterbri’s masterlist here • My masterlist can be found here
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Disclaimers: Cursing, intimidation, threats, unprotected sex, angst. Read at your own discretion.
GIF credit: @cowboyshit
Divider by: @saradika-graphics
Word count for part 3: 937
This is 100% pure fiction.
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All the color from your face drained when you grabbed your phone and pulled up the text messages Hangman was talking about. Your stomach was in knots as you read over Swerve’s words! “Y/N, talk to me sweetheart. What’s going on? Who sent you those messages?” Hangman asked, his voice full of concern. There was a battle going on internally between your head and your heart as you sat there trying to figure out if you should stay or if you should go. Your first thought was that you should leave and spare the cowboy the trouble of having to deal with you and your past. Leaving right now would break you, but you felt like it would be the best choice to protect him and get him off Swerve’s radar. It pained you to pull your hand away from him, but you did it anyway. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at the beautiful man in bed behind you as you stood up, your voice cracking as you uttered your goodbye, “I-I have to go. This whole thing was a mistake. I never should’ve let things get this far between us. I-I’m so sorry.” Panic started to set in as Hangman watched you pick up your discarded underwear and put it back on. Everything was happening so fast that it didn’t register in his brain to stop you before you walked out the bedroom door. “Shit!” he cursed under his breath as he jumped up, pulling the bedsheet with him. As he caught up with you down the hallway, he wrapped the sheet around his waist and tucked it in place, his voice echoing through the quiet as he called out for you, “Y/N! Stop, please! Stay and we can work through whatever is going on. Just talk to me, please don’t go!”
“Adam don’t make this any more difficult than what it already is. Things will be better and safer for you if I go. You have to let me go!” you pleaded as you pulled your shirt over your head. His rebuttal was straight and to the point, leaving you dumbfounded when all he said was “no.” “What do you mean, no?” you questioned. “No. I’m not going to let you go. I don’t know what kind of hold Swerve has on you, but I’m not going to let that dumbass ruin what we have together. I have no idea what is going on between you two, but it’s clear that you have history. I don’t give a shit about any of it! All I care about is you. Let me in, Y/N. Let me calm whatever storm is going on in that beautiful head of yours!” You were taken aback by the assertiveness in his voice, but it still had a tenderness to it at the same time. The longer he looked at you, the more his blue eyes broke through your defenses that you were using to shut him out.
He opened his arms to you, and it was like you were a moth to a flame as you ran right into them. Tears stained your cheeks as you stood in the hallway embracing each other tightly. Hangman placed his hand on your head, holding it in place against his chest as you released things you didn’t even realize you had inside of you. “Hey, it-it’s okay. I’ve got you sweetheart. Everything is gonna be okay,” he reassured you. “I’m such a mess!” you cried out, only to have the cowboy leave you stunned once again. “Maybe, but you’re my beautiful mess.”
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The rest of that night was spent in deep conversation about you and your past with Swerve. It was painful to rehash and explain the things he had done to you over the course of your relationship and how he still found ways to cause you distress. You showed Hangman the texts he had sent you previously, and explained how he continues to keep tabs on you. “So that would explain the night when we were in medical together. The asshole thought he could scare off the Hangman! Ha, it’s going to take a lot more than his empty words and imitation prince to keep me away from you!” his words were dry, but they still made you laugh! Hangman listened intently and never interrupted you as you opened your heart to him, and you found that it wasn’t so bad letting him in after all. Hangman turned out to be your safe place, your refuge from any storm. “No more worrying about him, sweetheart. I won’t let him hurt you anymore,” was his promise to you before you both drifted off to sleep.
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It took some time for karma to catch up with Swerve, but you were so grateful when it did. Hangman had presented several things to Tony Kahn that showcased just how toxic and dangerous Swerve truly was. He explained to Tony that he not only was a flight risk for the company, but also for anyone that encountered him. Once the internal investigation was complete, it was a no brainer to let Swerve go. Gone were the days of walking around your job on eggshells. Gone were the days full of constant worry and anguish where Swerve was concerned. You no longer feared him when the cowboy gave you strength and encouragement to get a restraining order against him. Hangman made you feel whole again and spent every day trying to erase the lies and bullshit that Swerve had filled your head with for so long. He was your cowboy and the keeper of your heart.
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goldendynastys · 1 year ago
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now that we don’t talk | hjs
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summary: you can’t help but feel upset and reel about the past after your breakup with han jisung. however, after weeks of reflection and loneliness, you come to realize that perhaps you’re better off on your own after remembering how awful it was being on and off with him.
pairing: han jisung x fem!reader rating/genre: 18+, Minors DNI | modern/college au, angst, some fluff, slight smut word count: 9.2k warnings/notes: 1989 taylor’s version is my new obsession and this vault track has been growing on me so here we are, long-haired jisung brought me here okay, stoner! jisung, explicit language, alcohol and marijuana usage, major angst, reader is going through it, mentions of sadness and loneliness, slight fluff, jisung is lowkey an asshole and a terrible boyfriend, mentions of sex and sexual activities, reader gets her shit together and finds closure, i’m pretty sure that’s it but if i miss anything please let me know (i’m new at this), hope you all enjoy reading! <3
disclaimer: all members of Stray Kids are faces and name claims for this story. this is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment, or representation of real-life people. any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real life scenarios.
banner made by the lovely @babystrcandy <3
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It was Friday afternoon, and the last thing you wanted to do was meet up for a group project. You and a few other classmates were supposed to be working on some psychology project, analyzing different parts of the brain and how it applies to the work world (you had no clue, it was only assigned to you Wednesday). Your group was supposed to meet yesterday, but of course, one of the members canceled at the last minute, forcing all of you to meet on Friday. Everyone was pissed, to say the least.
The walk to the library was pleasant, if you were being honest. You always loved the spring, how the once dead trees suddenly sprung back to life with healthy leaves and beautiful flowers adorning the branches. The weather was starting to get warmer, which meant you didn’t have to carry around an oversized jacket and gloves all the time. Thank God, cause it came to a point where the freezing cold was starting to bother you. Now you could wear a sweater all on its own and be completely fine. 
You watched as some flower petals blew in the wind, smiling at the image above you. With an iced coffee in your hand, you walked through campus and made your way to the library. After walking in silence amongst the wind, you realized that maybe meeting up for the project today wasn’t so bad after all. The walk seemed to calm you, help you ground yourself after all the negative thoughts that ran through your head previously. You were more motivated to take on the project and get as much work done as possible before heading into a nice, relaxing weekend away from classes. 
Your group decided to secure a study room on the first floor, since you all could talk freely without people trying to quiet down every five minutes. You saw one of your members, Chae-Won, standing outside a room, to which she greeted you by your name and with a wave. “Hey, Chae-Won. Has anyone else come?” You ask her.
“Yeah, we’re all here. We were doing homework separately here earlier and it took us less than five seconds to find each other,” Chae-Won explained, knowing you would feel bad for being the last one to show up and keep everyone waiting. You both walked into the study room and took your respective seats.
The time you spent preparing for this project went by so quickly, as it was already three in the afternoon and everyone was starting to leave for the night. Your group decided to call it a night, after successfully setting up your slides and actually discussing what the project entailed. You were doing just fine until one of your group members, Alex, decided to mention something that took you completely by surprise.
“Of course I’m going to the party tonight. Han Jisung’s going to be there, and you know how fun he can be at parties. Plus, he has the best weed on campus, and I need to refill my stash,” Alex commented, to which your other group member he was talking to smacked his arm loudly.
You froze at the mention of that name. You hadn’t really heard it in a few weeks, since you didn’t talk to many people and honestly tried to forget everything associated with it. You awkwardly look at your surroundings, trying to change the subject completely.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Alex apologized, proceeding to use your name in order to convey how deeply sorry he was.
You played it off by smiling and shaking your head. “It’s fine, Alex. It’s been a bit since we’ve broken up, so you’re all good.”
That’s right. Han Jisung was your ex boyfriend, and the mention of his name always made your skin crawl. You were trying to erase every memory you had of him. He wasn’t a terrible boyfriend, no, but certainly not the best. You couldn’t help but briefly think back to all of the fights you had leading up towards the end of your breakup, how angry and sad you were with him. You also couldn’t help but think about the good times you shared, cuddling and kissing and everything else that came with that. A flurry of emotions and memories swarmed your brain all at once, and you just had to get out of that damn library as quickly as possible.
“All right,” you clapped your hands together. “It was great working with you all tonight, I appreciate all of your hard work. I will get started on my part sometime this weekend, not sure when. I’ll see you guys on Monday. Have a good night, everyone.”
Everyone said goodbye to you as you darted for the exit. You stopped in your tracks, however, when you heard Chae-Won call your name. “Wait up!” She cried. “Hey, I’m sorry for what Alex said, he’s a complete idiot. He honestly wasn’t thinking.”
“No, it’s cool. Not a lot of people knew Jisung and I were together, so it’s not a big deal,” you reassured her, a small pang of sadness hitting your chest.
“I know, but it still hurts. Breakups are the worst, especially when the guy is a dumbass,” Chae-Won said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle loudly at her comment. “But seriously, men are idiots, and I’m sorry about your breakup. If you want, we should hangout sometime. I know some cool clubs downtown that play good music and have the best vibes. Or we can just stay in and watch movies, it doesn’t matter to me.”
A huge smile grew on your face. No one has spoken so kindly to you in a while, so to hear that made your heart feel warm. You placed a hand on Chae-Won’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. “Thank you, Chae-Won. I really appreciate it. I’ll definitely take you up on that offer, but I honestly just want to hang out by myself tonight. It’s been a long week.”
“Of course. I was the same last week, and I’ll probably end up falling asleep at ten tonight because of how exhausted I am,” she joked, in which you laughed with her. “But I mean it, just text me anytime and we can work something out.”
“Absolutely, I will for sure. Have a good night,” you told your friend as you made your way to the door.
A bittersweet feeling sat with you as you walked out of the library. On one hand, you started thinking about your ex-boyfriend when you really didn’t want to. But at the same time, you had made a new friend, a friend who seemed really eager to spend time with you. The feeling stayed with you as you walked back to your apartment on-campus, stopping by the grocery store to pick up some dinner and your favorite snacks before heading in for the night. You were excited to have a self-care night, focused solely on yourself and resting after a long week of classes and exams. 
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Your night was going completely fine until you decided to redownload Instagram. You had come to realize that despite taking a long shower, doing your nails, and watching a movie, you were still bored out of your mind. Maybe it was because of how early in the night it was, or because you couldn’t stop thinking of Jisung and what he was doing right now. A mixture of both, probably. 
Quickly signing into your account, you became nervous as the screen started to load, getting ready to show you account. Immediately upon looking at your feed, your stomach instantly dropped. Not only was there a new post from Jisung, sporting a new haircut and outfit, but there was also a post on his story. You nervously clicked his icon, revealing a group photo of him and his friends at a party from a few months back, claiming he “wanted to show some love to his brothers.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the picture, as you were the one to take that photo, and you weren’t particularly fond of what happened that night. Jisung insisted you come to this party, since you had been locking yourself in your apartment every night for the past two weeks. You kept telling him no, but he only had to say a few words about how pretty you were and how much he missed you for you to change your mind. Looking back, you hate how much of a pushover you were, wishing you had a backbone to tell him no, especially for a guy who didn’t give a damn about you.
The entire night, you clung to Jisung while he completely ignored you, smoking blunts while trying different alcohol drinks and focusing on his friends. They were chatting about something completely stupid, most likely the new video game they all started playing or how many girls they had fucked in the past few weeks. It left you bored and irritated out of your mind, and when Jisung asked you to take a picture of him and his friends, you took the photo and stormed off.
It was a faint memory now, as they all started to blend together because of how similar they were. Jisung would tell you how much he missed you and how pretty you were, you’d hang out, and he’d ignore you if he was with his friends or at a party. The same routine, God knows why you stayed with him all that time when he treated you like shit.
But you were reminded of the good times when you “accidentally” clicked on Jisung’s profile to see what he had been posting. You saw photos of him hanging out at different places in the city, some of which were taken by you. You also recalled taking numerous photos together, some selfies of him kissing you or your cheek, others of you two just being a happy couple. Those days were the best, as it was just you two doing whatever you wanted and having so much fun. 
That was one of the reasons why you stayed for so long, because of how sweet and caring Jisung could be. You held onto the hope that he would start treating you like that whenever you were with his friends or in more public spaces, but that never happened, no matter how hard you kept trying. 
You couldn’t help but feel a small tear roll down your cheek once you saw some photos of Jisung hanging out with some girls, letting them cling onto him at parties and really starting to notice how much he had changed since you two broke up. His hair was longer, his wardrobe had taken a turn (for the worse, if you were being completely honest), and he just appeared to be having more fun. Especially with the girls on his profile, as you noticed there had been other photos of them together at different parties. You wondered what he did at them, or if he got anxious when he left (since he always told you he was afraid of leaving places at night).
You shut off your phone and you couldn’t help but start crying. You hated how upset you were over this, how you bottled up your emotions and pretended that you were fine, but in reality you were just sad. Sad that you had to break up with the boy you really liked, one that you wanted to have a serious relationship with. You wanted it so badly, and for Jisung to fight for you just as much as you fought for him. But he didn’t, he honestly didn’t care about you that much. Not enough to make him stay.
What got to you the most was the fact that Jisung was posting photos of him hanging out with girls, when he never even posted one photo of you two together. Were you really that awful of a girlfriend? Sure, you had your fair share of flaws, as you were human and humans were not meant to be perfect, but you didn’t think you were that terrible. You were loyal to Jisung, never once did you come off as too clingy or annoying, and you respected his boundaries, never questioning who he was hanging out with in an accusing manner. So why did he treat you the way he treated you when you were together?
You couldn’t help but wonder… had Jisung been seeing other girls when you were together? No, he was not the best boyfriend in the world, that’s for damn sure. But he would never cheat, he constantly reassured you that he wasn’t seeing anyone else and that you were “the only one for him” (which was a total lie, but it was reassuring nonetheless). That was the only thing you believed and remained true throughout the course of your relationship. 
When you two started having sex, you wanted to make sure he was clean and did not have any STDs. You both got tested (per your request) and it was something you took very seriously. Jisung constantly reassured you that he did not have an STD and wasn’t seeing anyone else. And he was right; from the numerous times you had sex or done other sexual activities, you never once got an infection.
Sex with Jisung was one of the things you missed the most about your relationship. Not only because he was clean, but because of how good he made you feel. Always letting you come first, pleasuring you in the right places and not stopping until you were satisfied. There was a day where your roommate went home for the weekend and Jisung stayed over, to which you two had sex basically the entire night, trying out different positions and entangling yourself in each other's arms. You even had sex in the shower, which was a whole other playing field you desperately wanted to try again. And you did, on multiple occasions. 
You missed the way he made you feel, how he made your body feel. And now that he was most likely doing the same stuff you two did with other girls, you couldn’t help but feel a piece of your heart shatter. You hadn’t really processed the breakup until now, throwing yourself into schoolwork and pretending like everything was fine. Now that you were seeing things for how they actually were, you couldn’t help but start crying.
You could feel the tears falling down your cheeks slowly, coming out rapidly and for no way for you to stop them. You deleted Instagram as quickly as possible as you realized you could no longer stay on that godforsaken app without getting upset. You continued to let yourself cry it out, the bottled up emotions finally exploding and flooding from your mind. You laid in bed and just let yourself cry; it was the best thing you could do for yourself at that point.
Once you realized that crying wasn’t going to make you stop being sad, you decided to call your mother. You two were very close and always had been since childhood. You were just so busy with school and her with her job that it was hard for you guys to talk all the time. Normally you try to call each other once or twice a week, more if you both had the time. This week you hadn’t spoken much, just because of your schedules. You figured she would from work, as it was the evening and she always got out early on Fridays. Sniffling, you opened your phone and dialed her number, waiting anxiously for her to pick up.
It took a few rings before you heard your mother on the other line. “Hello?” She spoke in a normal tone.
“H-Hi Mom,” you cry quietly, trying not to break down right in front of her. “Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Oh of course, what’s going on?” She asked, immediately knowing something was wrong. Mother’s instinct, you guessed. “Why are you crying? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m not in danger or anything, but . . . do you remember Jisung? My ex boyfriend?” You ask, making yourself comfortable on your bed and hugging one of your Squishmallows.
“Ugh, yeah. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I don’t like him,” your mother answered, disgusted. You couldn’t help but laugh at her behavior, as you felt the exact same way about him. “Why? Has he done something to upset you?”
“No. Matter of fact, we haven’t spoken since I broke up with him. No I just, I was doing this group project for one of my classes and this guy Alex mentioned how Jisung was going to have this epic party tonight and . . . I don’t know. I logged onto Instagram just to see what he’s been up to and . . . he’s completely changed. He grew his hair long, and it looks like he’s trying out different lives with all the ‘cool’ photos he’s been posting at different places in the city. He even posted photos with some girls, and I guess it just hit me that we’re not together anymore. I’ve been holding it for weeks now and all the emotions are hitting me at once. So yeah, I’m just really sad. I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s late and you’ve had a long day at work.”
“Do not apologize,” your mother reassured you. “You are completely fine. I’m your mom, I’m always here for you. Let me be the first to say that I think Jisung is a loser, okay? I never liked him, not since you told me about how terribly he treated you at that party and other times after that. In all seriousness, social media only shows one side of the story. I know you’ve heard this a million times, but it’s true. People only post the best parts of their lives to make it seem like they’re cool and interesting, when they really aren’t. Jisung is doing the exact same thing.”
“No, I know what you mean, and I agree with you. It just sucks because he’s posting photos I took of him and he wouldn’t even post a photo of us together, but has the audacity to post photos with two girls? It just makes me so upset. I know I was the one to dump him, but I did it because of how he treated me like garbage. He’d ignore me whenever we would hang out with his friends, get mad at me for being mad at him for being an asshole, and just gaslight me into thinking that he wasn’t treating me terribly, he was just ‘busy’ with school. I don’t know, it’s hitting me all at once and I don’t know what to do,” you vented, wiping the many tears that fell from your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt.
Silence filled between you as you cried, your mother soothing you over the phone by letting you cry. “Let it out, it’s okay. Just get everything off of your chest, I’m right here. You’re dealing with a lot, so just let it out.”
You continued to cry until what felt like forever, and you finally managed to take a deep breath and restart the conversation. “It hurts, and I don’t know why. I guess I still miss him, he’s changed and he didn’t have to. I miss how it used to be. I . . . I wish we could get back together. Start fresh, you know?”
“Of course. I get what you mean, I was the same with this boyfriend I had in high school. I wanted him back, he was a piece of shit, and eventually I got over it. Thank God, cause Ricky turned out to be a complete asshole. He’s also gotten really ugly,” your mother shared, to which you giggled at how she spoke about her ex. “I say all this to remind you that it’s normal to want him back. But Honey, it’s for the best. Jisung was not a good boyfriend to you. Every time you gave him attention and showed interest in him, he’d always blow you off or get annoyed. He wanted you less than you wanted him, you have to remember that.”
You nodded your head, realizing what your mother said was true. “You’re right, he did get uninterested and bored whenever I gave him attention and affection. And then he’d get mad and tell me that he missed me so much whenever I didn’t talk to him for a few days. Ugh, people like that are the absolute worst. You either want me or you don’t, you can’t have both.”
“Yes! Exactly!” Your mother agreed with you enthusiastically. “That’s how Jisung was with you. I mean, he basically faded away weeks before you broke up with him. I know you miss him, but it’s the idea of him that you miss and want back. Not actually him. This breakup is for the best, you’ll find someone who will treat you right and make you forget that Jisung even exists. I know it doesn’t help much, but trust me, it is true. And it will happen.”
“It does help. I’m so young, I have so much to look forward to and crying over a stupid boy is so pointless. Well, not pointless, but you know what I mean. I think I’m okay now, I’m just going to remind myself whenever I get sad that it’s for the best and it’s okay to feel the way I’m feeling. I just need to remember that Jisung is an asshole and I deserve better,” you told your mother, but mainly to yourself since you’re coaching yourself through your emotions. “Thank you for listening to me, Mommy. I appreciate it so much.”
“I’m your mom, Honey. I’m always here for you, no matter what. I’m glad you’re feeling better and that you’re actually processing your emotions. It’s not good to bottle them up, you know,” your mother reassured you. “Take it easy for the rest of the night, okay? Watch a movie, have some ice cream, read a book. I don’t know, whatever is going to help you relax. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
“For sure, I’m just so grateful for you and everything that you do for me. Thank you,” you thanked her. “I think I’m going to put on a movie and eat some ice cream. Should I watch When Harry Met Sally or 10 Things I Hate About You?”
“Ooh, they’re both so good. Um, I’d have to say When Harry Met Sally. Classic, can never go wrong with it,” your mother answered. “I gotta run, your father wants to watch a show before we go to bed. Call me if you need anything or if you still want to talk, okay?”
“Okay Mom, I will. Tell Dad I say hi and that I miss him! I love you, talk to you soon,” you answered.
“I will. I love you more, goodnight,” she spoke.
“Goodnight,” and with that, you both hung up the phone.
You took a deep breath before sighing. It felt good to get that off your chest, as it had been weighing on you for so long. You felt a bit better, a sense of clarity washing over you as you got organized for the movie you were about to watch. Of course, you were still upset about Jisung and a small part of you still wanted him back, but that was a natural part of a breakup. Of course you wanted him back, it had only been a few weeks since you broke up, so it was normal for you to miss him and want to get back together. You knew you would get over this eventually, you just needed time to let out your emotions and process them. 
You’d be the person you were before you dated Jisung and you started to look forward to finding yourself again. A small smile arose on your face as you turned on the television and got your movie ready, excited for a nice, relaxing weekend.
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The weekend was a relaxing time for you, a peaceful weekend you really needed. You finished that movie you told your mom you were going to watch (and it was amazing, as always) and then you decided to go to bed for the night. It wasn’t hard for you to sleep with all of your Squishmallows and stuffed animals surrounding you. You had a great night's sleep, to put it simply, and it prepared you for the nice weekend ahead.
You only had a little homework left to complete, just the slides for your project and a quick quiz to take (to which you got a one hundred percent, per usual). You did that fairly early in the day so you could have the rest of the day to do whatever you wanted. Rather than wallowing in your apartment all day, you decided to explore the city and go to different places you hadn’t been before. You had put on a cute outfit, one that made you feel confident and fashionable. You wanted that boost after how low you were feeling last night, and you hadn’t worn something cute in a while, so you figured this would be the perfect time to do so.
You traveled to different vintage shops and bookstores, looking for little trinkets to put in your room. Eventually you found some cool little plates and small, aesthetic photos to put on your wall and bookshelf. You even found a vintage vinyl record and a new book to read, so all in all, it was a successful day. You went to a new cafe you had been wanting to try for a while now, but hadn’t had the time because of school and . . . well, doing whatever Jisung wanted to do. 
You tried to block him out of your thoughts, especially since you wanted to heal from the breakup and move on with your life. And you were successful, for the most part. It was the little things that made you think of Jisung, such as wanting to tell him all about the new book you found or wanting to take him to the coffee shop and antique store you went to. But you quickly reminded yourself that the breakup was for the best, and that whenever you gave Jisung so much attention, he’d want you less and less. That helped you stop and reset your mind, and it worked for the majority of the day.
After your adventure, you decided to head home, get some good food from the campus dining hall, and watch another movie. You loved watching movies and rating them on your Letterboxd account, it was a hobby you found pleasurable. Being able to rate movies and see what others thought about it, especially the ones that left funny reviews. You tried to leave funny ones that you saw on Twitter and TikTok, but they were not nearly as great or creative as what other people wrote. Still, it was a fun thing to do.
You quickly placed your bags on your bookshelf and made your way to the dining hall. Though you lived on-campus, it was still a far walk because you lived on one side and the dining hall was on another, so you wanted to make sure you got there on time. And you certainly didn’t mind it on this gorgeous afternoon. It didn’t take you as long as you thought and you had plenty of time, but you wanted to make sure you weren’t being rude by showing up ten minutes before the dining hall closed. You just wanted to be courteous to the staff who worked long hours in the cafeteria.  
You noticed you had gotten a text from your mother, to which you pulled out your phone and tried to read what it said. However, you collided with someone, in which both of you stumbled backwards with a gasp. Luckily, neither of you had a drink in your hands, so no one’s clothes got stained with various liquids. That was always a plus. Nothing else fell, either, which was an honest relief. You could not afford to get your phone screen fixed nor could you buy a new one, so it was just a matter of running into someone while you weren’t looking.
“Sorry about that, I . . .” the voice trailed off, in which it belonged to Hwang Hyunjin, a friend of Jisung's who just so happened to be heading to the dining hall at the same time you were. He proceeded to say your name in a confused manner, surprised to see you out and about.
“Hyunjin? Hey, how are you? It’s been a while,” you asked with an enthusiastic smile. You always liked Hyunjin, as he was very nice and made you feel welcome within him and Jisung’s friend group. More than Jisung, if you were being honest. 
“I’ve been good, yeah just busy with school and studying. I’ve been trying to paint more when I have the time and it’s coming along really nicely,” he explained, which made you happy to hear. Even if you and Jisung were no longer together, you had a soft spot for his friends and wished them nothing but the best. “H-How have you been? None of us have heard from you in, like, weeks.”
A puzzled look arose on your face as you processed the question. Did Jisung not say anything? Why didn’t he tell his best friends that he and his girlfriend broke up? After all, all of you spend a good amount of weekends together, going out to dinner or hanging out at parties. Why wouldn't Jisung come clean? Unless he didn’t care to tell them and just assumed they would figure it out on their own, which hurt more than you thought it did, but maybe it was for the best. Let the boys think you turned into a mystery, it made you feel cool and interesting.
You took a deep breath before breaking the news to Hyunjin, wanting to prepare for the awkwardness that would come afterwards. “Uh, yeah. I got really busy with school and stuff, but um . . . Jisung and I aren’t together anymore. We broke up. That’s the main reason for why you all don’t see me around anymore.”
There was a pause, the Hwang boy taking in everything you told him. He looked shocked, to say the least, as he figured you were just busy with school and didn’t have the time to party. But he thought wrong and did not expect for you and Jisung to break up. He couldn’t help but let out a sigh. “Shit. I-I didn’t know,” he continued by mentioning your name in a serious and caring manner. “I’m sorry, that’s awful. Can I ask why? if it’s too much, you don't have to share—”
“No it’s okay, Hyunjin. Really, it’s fine. We just don’t have anything in common and I wanted to focus on school and finding an internship,” you admit. You couldn’t pretend it was for platonic reasons, as your relationship just ended and you could not fathom being Jisung’s friend right now. “So yeah, I ended things a few weeks ago. I’m doing okay, I just spent the day in the city and went to some really cool stores. You’d really like the antique shop I went to, they have a lot of paintings you would think are cool.”
Hyunjin nodded his head sympathetically. “That’s cool, I’ll definitely check it out when I have the time. I’m just busy between school and extracurriculars, it’s chaotic,” he commented. “But I’m sorry to hear that, you guys were cute together. Do you think you guys could ever be friends? We miss having you around and would love to keep hanging out with you.”
“If I’m being honest, I don’t think so. There’s just too much that happened and I’m not even sure if Jisung and I could even be friends given our history. And in general, too, since we’re complete opposites,” you sadly explained. It was true: you and Jisung were too different and you could not be his friend. If you couldn’t get along romantically, then how the hell were you two supposed to get along as friends? You’d rather play it safe and just not be friends with him. You wanted to be as far away as you could be from the Han boy, especially since you wanted to heal and prioritize yourself from now on.
You could tell Hyunjin was upset, since he liked hanging out with you and everyone else. It hurt your heart, but it was for the best. Who knows, maybe you could put this behind you one day and be friends with them again, Jisung included. But right now, it just hurt too much, and it would be better for your mental health if you kept your distance from Jisung and his friends. 
“I understand, you gotta put yourself first and do what’s best for you. I respect that,” Hyunjin explained. “But we’re always here for you if you change your mind. We can deal with Jisung, we can even kick him out of the house for the night and make him hang out with his other friends while you hang out with us. Only if you want though, it’s just an option in case you ever wanted to.”
You laughed at his idea. “Thank you, Hyunjin. I really appreciate it. You’re so kind, so sweet. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”
“Of course. I always got your back,” he reassured you, adding your name to the end of his sentence to make sure you knew he meant what he said. “I have to run to the library before they close to print something. I’ll see you around?”
You nodded your head and started to make your way toward the dining hall. “Yeah, I’ll see you around. Bye, Hyunjin.”
He called out your name while he waved goodbye, and with that, you parted ways. You wanted to cry, the moment you shared was so sweet and it made you sad that you could no longer be friends with Hyunjin and the rest of Jisung’s friends. They were such a great group of guys, even when they were annoying, they always managed to make you laugh and include you in everything when you were all together. It was for the best, but you knew you were going to miss having a big group of friends who really cared about you.
It was almost as if a lightbulb had turned on in your head. You were sad about not being able to have friends, but you realized that your only friends were your boyfriend’s friends (you are an antisocial person who has had trouble making friends at your school). Meaning, you were sad about not having friends, but it was up to you now to go out of your comfort zone and start trying to make friends. Sure, people were probably settled in their friend groups by now, but you truly did not give a fuck. Surely there had to be people out there who were looking for friends too or simply did not stick to one friend group. You just had to put yourself out there and just find the right people.
It was going to be hard for sure, as you don’t make best friends five minutes into meeting them, but you were looking forward to the journey and who you would meet along the way. You decided to eat your dinner before making any action steps towards your plan because you were starving and had to get food before the dining hall closed. Once that was taken care of, you walked back to your apartment as quickly as possible.
You sat on your couch and decided to give Chae-Won a call. She had given you her number before you left the library on Friday, saying how you could reach out to her if you ever wanted to hang out. So, in honor of starting your journey to finding friends, you decided to act on it and dialed her number. It took a few rings before she answered, and you were nervous to talk to her, but ready nonetheless. “Hello? Who is this?”
“Hey, Chae-Won!” You greeted her and let her know your name. She excitedly said hello and was happy that you called. “Yeah, I am too! I was just wondering . . . are you going anything tonight?”
And from there on out, your world was about to shift on its axis for the better.
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Six months had passed since everything that happened, and you were in a much better place than before. A lot had happened in a short amount of time — some great things, the others mundane. It didn’t matter, because you were thriving. 
The phone call you shared with Chae-Won was what started it all, really. You had asked her if she wanted to hang out that night, and she was very happy that you asked her that. You ended up staying at her apartment for the night and had a blast, watching movies and drinking good drinks. You talked about what you both liked to do for fun and what other classes you were taking, and it turned out you two liked similar things. You loved watching movies and rating them on Letterboxd, you loved music, and you loved exploring the city. You both could tell from that night a special friendship had begun to blossom.
You continued to make friends through your classes while also prioritizing yourself and your mental health. You only did things you wanted to, knew when your social battery was draining and went home to recharge, and you started to journal to reflect on your life and try to better understand who you were. These methods have helped you greatly and continue to do so to this day. You have learned a lot about yourself and have grown in so many ways. You were proud of how far you had come, to say the least. 
In addition to Chae-Won becoming a very close friend of hers, you also met some friends outside of your major and in extracurriculars. It was a bit hard at first, as Chae-Won was your only friend and it was challenging to meet people when they already had their established friend groups. You were lonely, but making an active effort into meeting people. Eventually, your hard work paid off and you started meeting people like yourself. They had friends, but not a tight-knit friend group who did everything together. Turns out, the friends you were meeting were also friends with Chae-Won, and a little group formed between you four. 
You started doing small things, like going over to each other’s apartments to hang out and watch movies. As you started to become closer, you started to visit the cool clubs Chae-Won mentioned during your meeting for that group project (to which your group got an A, courtesy of you two working your asses off you make sure it was good) and other spots recommended from strangers you met on your outings. You always had a good time together, and even aside from them, you liked the girls and boys you befriended even outside of the friend group that you would occasionally do things with. 
Who knew that by actually leaving your bedroom and putting yourself out there would cause you to meet people and make friends! (Those were the exact words your mother used when you called her to tell her the news about meeting new friends and taking better care of yourself. You still laughed about that, even now, but your mother was absolutely right. When was she ever wrong)?
On top of learning about yourself and meeting new friends, you also acquired a summer internship in the city. You did some advertising work for a computer company, making sure their ads were effective and how to best get people to buy their products through the use of visuals. This was the reason why you were a marketing major and a psychology minor: to do work like this. It was the best of both worlds and you got to do something you loved, which was something you were very serious about. If you didn’t love the work that you did, then you would’ve been miserable and you simply could not have that.
Your new friends didn’t live too far from the city, so they came and visited you whenever they could on the weekends and you did whatever you wanted, since it was summer and there were no classes. The summer was perfect overall: you had a great job, you met amazing friends, and you were in a better place than you were in the winter. It was interesting to see how things became full circle, you honestly thought you would never see the day.
But even with this healing journey and getting to a better place, you couldn’t help but think about Jisung every so often. You didn’t miss him, no . . . did you? You couldn’t tell. You missed hanging out and being in a relationship with him, and he wasn’t the worst boyfriend on the planet, so it wasn’t like you were running back to a completely terrible situation. But then you remembered all the bad stuff that happened within it, and then you were torn. You were in a much better place mentally from when you first got together and broke up, so the idea of trying it again didn’t seem so terrible. You would only reconsider it if you were to run into him on campus and have an actual conversation. Perhaps that would give you the clarity you had been looking for. 
And that day surely came when you least expected it. It was around the third week of classes, and you were heading to one of your advertising classes when you heard someone call out your name. You looked up in confusion, as no one has ever yelled out your name like that before. Curiously, you tried to search for whoever said your name, which didn’t take you long because once you saw the figure of Han Jisung, with his long hair and interesting choice of clothes, you immediately knew it was him. 
Your legs and body froze as you watched him walk towards you. You did not know what to do — part of you wanted to blow him off and say you were running late to class, but the other side of you wanted to talk to him, to see how things were. You had no idea which choice was the right decision. You were scared you were going to immediately forgive him and forget everything that happened between you two, and you didn’t want that. At least, you didn’t think you did.
Your mind became filled with a tornado of thoughts once Jisung approached you. He had that signature smile he always gave you whenever he greeted you. Butterflies erupted in your stomach simultaneously, and it was almost as if you had forgotten how to speak.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he greeted. “It’s been a while, how are you? How was your summer?”
You stared at him for a brief moment before collecting yourself. You can do this, you said to yourself. Just talk to him how you would talk to your friends. “Jisung, hey! I’m . . . I’m doing well. Yeah, I stayed in the city to do an internship and it was great. H-How about you?”
“Oh it was great, I did some work for this tech company, mainly coding and shit. It wasn’t bad, but I’d much rather be listening to music and chilling, you know,” he explained nonchalantly. 
“Ah, yes. You always said music and relaxing were way more fun than studying and classes,” you commented, in which he laughed. You recalled many times when you would hang out with him on the quad after your classes while he skipped his and listened to some songs that you thought were just God-awful. You didn’t even know what genre they would be considered, that’s how bad it was.
“And I still believe it’s true. That and doing it with someone you like or are close with, those three things are what make it perfect,” Jisung laughed again. “Do anything fun over the summer?”
“Yeah, I hung out with some of my friends who live close to the city. They’re all in different majors, but they’re really nice. Other than that, I just went to visit home a few times,” you answered.
“That’s nice. How’s your mom doing?” He asked.
She thinks you’re a loser, you thought to yourself while you tried to hide your smile. You couldn’t help but think back to what she said all those months ago, and how she probably felt the same way today. You shook your head, “she’s doing great, I’ll tell her you say hi,” you reassured. “How was your summer?”
“Oh it was fine. Boring, but fun. Went to a few parties, smoked a lot and just had a good time with my friends from home. I missed the guys though, we only saw each other once. I’m glad we’re together again,” Jisung explained and you just nodded your head. 
You were happy his summer wasn’t terrible. Certainly you wouldn’t have wanted to have been together; him dragging you to parties and completely ignoring you while hanging out with his friends was the definition of hell for you. You were glad that he had his fun and you had yours.
There was an awkward silence between you, like there was something that wanted to be said but neither of you could say anything. You briefly glanced at your phone and saw that class was starting in ten minutes, and it was then that you decided to break the silence and speak. “I gotta get to class in ten minutes, it was nice running—”
“I miss you,” Jisung blurted out, which made your stomach drop. You could feel your chest tighten as you anticipated his next words. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and I . . . I just miss you and being with you. I know we haven’t talked in, like, months, but I miss you. Do you want to get coffee this week and talk about this more?”
And there it was. This was what you were waiting for, now and when you two first broke up. You had hoped it wouldn’t, but it was inevitable at this point. You eventually had to talk about it. And you just stood there, staring at him and admiring his beauty. His hair was still long, hidden in a black beanie with a pair of headphones resting on his neck. Han Jisung was an attractive person, there was no denying that. 
He sounded genuine, with his words. He wanted to talk about your relationship and how to move forward, to get back together. He wanted to be with you. Your old self wouldn’t even give it a second thought and immediately say yes. She would have wanted this for you. But now, you weren’t sure.
You thought about the nights you spent crying over how he treated you at a party, or when he wouldn’t text you back but would post back-to-back on his Instagram and Snapchat stories. You thought about how every time you put so much energy into him and your relationship, he would give less back and would get annoyed. When you gave less, he claimed he missed you and wanted you to spend time with him. You never knew which Jisung you were going to get: the kind Jisung, who was the one who made you want to be his girlfriend in the first place. Or the asshole Jisung, who ignored you and got annoyed at you for simple actions. 
The whole relationship drained you. A constant battle of he’s such a great boyfriend, I love him or he’s the worst person ever and I can’t believe he’s treating me this way. Jisung seemed like he wanted things to be different this time around, with his serious face and tone of voice. But how do you know if it was sincere? Was he just saying it to get back together and then would repeat the same actions later on?
And when you thought about your relationship more, you realized there were some things you could stop pretending to like. Jisung’s music taste, for example. You always told him it was cool and unique, but you honestly hated it. Now that you weren’t together, you didn’t have to pretend to like his shitty music. And you also didn’t have to pretend that you liked going to parties with him, while he ignored you the entire night and focused on his friends doing the stupidest things ever. You realized you didn’t have to pretend to like things for the sake of making other people happy. 
And man, was that feeling life changing.
You couldn’t help but think about the good parts of your relationship, too. Your hangouts in the city, in your bedroom’s, watching movies and having sex whenever you could. They were all great memories most definitely, but memories that were not worth getting back together for the sake of being together.
The healing journey you went on (and were still currently on) made you into a better person. You turned into a shrouded mystery, completely reinventing yourself and changing your outlook on everything. You became unrecognizable, similar to how you were before you met Jisung. Turning into a shrouded mystery and going through that painful start of your journey was the only way back to your dignity. And that was simply something you could not afford to lose again, you couldn't risk losing all of that hard work you did.
You took a deep breath in before giving Jisung your answer. “Jisung, I . . . I can’t. We . . . the way you treated me was just awful. I really let you walk all over me and I am not going to do that again. I know you’ve probably changed and won’t do it again, but I just can’t. The breakup sucked and it took me a long time to get to where I am now, and I can’t destroy the progress I’ve made. I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea if we get back together.”
You watched Jisung’s face fall as you explained your answer. You hated hurting people, but you had to do it for yourself. “I completely understand. I’m really sorry for how I treated you, I am. I feel terrible for the way I acted and how I made you go out when you didn’t want to. I don’t know what I was thinking, but you deserve a lot better than me. And I will forever be upset over how I treated you and let an awesome girl go.”
His apology warmed your heart a bit; it was good to have an actual apology for how awful you had been treated, it healed a small part of your heart. “Thank you, Jisung,” you thanked him quietly. “I’ll always be thankful for you and our relationship. You taught me a lot and it honestly helped me go out of my comfort zone. If it weren’t for you or our break up, I wouldn’t have changed and be the person I am today. So thank you for that, truly.”
A sad laugh escaped his lips. “Glad I was actually able to give you something great,” he spoke quietly, in which his words made you smile slightly. “Do you think we could be friends?”
You hesitated to answer at first, but you eventually found the right words to say. “Um, not right now, no. I think I just need to focus on myself and figure out what the hell I’m doing with life and everything. Being friends could turn into something else that I do not have time to worry about nor do I want to worry about. Plus, I am just really busy with school and homework, so I wouldn’t be able to hang out much,” you explained. “It’s not entirely out of the picture, though. Once I’m in a better place with myself, I don’t see why not. You’re a kind and funny person, Han Jisung. I want those kinds of people as my friends.”
Jisung nodded his head. “Yeah, I understand. Take as long as you need. It doesn’t matter if you decide by seventy-five that you are ready to be friends, I will gladly welcome you with open arms. That is, if I’m not in a nursing home by then. We’ll figure it out once we live next door to each other and have to figure out how to convince the nurses to give us better cafeteria food.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his comment. Aside from your relationship drama, Jisung was a good guy who knew how to make people laugh and was very sincere. You were glad you were able to talk to him like this, even if it was for the last time, and leave things on a positive note. You looked down at your watch and saw that you only had five minutes until you had to get to class. “Listen, I really have to make it to this class, this professor is very strict on locking the doors right when the class starts. I’m happy we were able to talk, Jisung. I am glad you are doing well and thank you for . . . this. I don’t know how to describe it.”
“No worries, I get what you mean. I’m happy that you’re doing well, too,” he said. “I’ll see you around, Sunshine.”
And with that, Jisung turned around and made his way to another building on campus. You made your way into your classroom building and wandered the halls until you entered class and took your seat. Sitting down forced you to reflect on your conversation with Jisung, and how you were able to get the closure you needed.
You had been waffling earlier if you two should get back together now that you were in a good place. You could set necessary boundaries now that you were a more confident person. However, you decided against it and told Jisung that you did not want to get back together with him. From what he told you and your own realizations, you realized you would be better off staying single and focusing on yourself and your studies for a little while. 
And with that came a happy feeling within your mind and body. You made the right decision, a decision that was going to best benefit you in the long run. A sense of peace had washed over you, and you couldn’t help but smile as you opened your textbook and began to take notes on your lecture, knowing that everything was going to be okay no matter what happened to you in the years to come. 
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bitterlittleseed · 29 days ago
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Learning to Feel | October 26th, 2024
[4min read]
“It’s no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.” - Jiddu Krishnamurti
I must address the irony of this piece before I begin with its subject - I sit here, burnt out from work, overwhelmed by life, grieving many things and many people. And yet, I would like to write about suppressing emotion while suppressing my emotions. 
I have become 'well-adjusted' to this societal expectation that the show must go on. And in some ways, it’s true… But this phrase is often used to illustrate the idea that we must move on‌ quickly. That there is no time to feel, or that feeling will somehow make things worse. 
I’m no stranger to this idea, clearly. Suppression, to me, has felt more like home than the presence of emotion. An empty, quiet home is more appealing to me than one bustling with energy. I keep my brain clear of any sticky feelings by quickly shuffling away any emotion however I can. Sometimes I listen to music to tune them out. Sometimes I watch videos, shows or movies to replace my very personal emotions with other thoughts and feelings about fictional characters. And all the while, I am painfully aware of the counter-productivity. 
Over the past year, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that real growth is only possible when I’m willing to acknowledge my pain, as it stands alone. I could ‌point fingers at people, places and things that have caused my pain. I often do. But it’s only recently I realized that this practice isn’t enabling me to truly feel the pain. In some ways, it’s still suppressing it - taking the actual emotion (sadness, fear, etc) and turning it outwards. This also prolongs my pain. It’s easier to stay sad, fearful, or angry when I’ve assigned an external cup to pour into me. I am aware of all of this, and yet…
Now, before I theorize, I want to make this clear (again, because I can see the irony): I’m not pointing a finger at anyone but myself for engaging in these practices. However, I do acknowledge that while this is my journey to engage in, there are, whether or not we like it, external factors that have normalized such practices. Take social media, for example. I belong to the generation that used social media for most of our lives. I can find my kindergarten photos on MySpace or Facebook. I created my first social media account when I was 11 or 12 (sorry, mom). It has been an integral part of my upbringing. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed how much we use social media to curate a version of ourselves that isn’t realistic. We post only the best photos of ourselves. We post only the most aesthetically pleasing images of our memories. I believe that this started innocently enough - of course we want people to see the best parts of ourselves. The more I think, the more questions arise. Do we present what we think others want to see, or what we wish we could be? 
I can’t answer this question for all 8 billion of us, of course. But I can say that I take photos of myself, and wish I always looked that way. I see photos associated with memories I have, and preserve only the most beautiful parts, ignoring the unsavory aspects of that time or place (and sometimes, there are many). 
I rarely see people post about their pain. Their truest, yet most unorthodox, thoughts. Some of that, of course, because we don’t want everyone to see our pain. But I can only imagine part of that is also because we’re unwilling to see ourselves as pained, imperfect people living imperfect lives. 
I can’t present you with a solution here. Your journey is yours to take, as mine is mine. But I want to leave you with this: your pain is worth feeling. You are worth the work it takes to truly heal from what has hurt you. Part of that involves sitting in the hurt, even briefly.
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henqtic · 2 years ago
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sundays . draco malfoy x black!reader . wc: 482.
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authors note: decided to clean out some of the stuff in my drafts :)
·:*₊‧ masterlist . taglist form . request works . ·:*₊‧✩
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“so you really just sit with oil in your hair all day, and it helps?” draco asked from the other side of the bathroom, washing all of the hair grease, black castor oil away, a concoction of oils you made up on your own, and whatever else it was he’d helped you apply off of his hands.
this morning, like many others, hadn’t taken him long getting used to. all windows were open and free from the containment of blinds and curtains, the smell of soft bleach lingered through the halls and your body was no longer loosely weaving into his clinging one.
hours ago, he’d helped you clean at the little crooks in between the walls and counters, lit the candle as you sat yourself down in one of the stools and allowed him to make you both breakfast. sundays, became what he liked best when you moved in together — it was always the same and he was always eager for the last part.
for sundays, became hair and clean up days. more often than not, he’d tucker himself out and go back to bed until you woke him up for a glance at your hair, or an opinion on the next still — or fight off the sleep and sit concentrating in the bathroom along with you as you worked your magic.
this was the first time though, that he’d seen you apply all that you did. instead of simple mini twists or braids, it was a hot oil treatment, deep conditioning, protein treatment, and more oil. the result being an afro, beautiful and reaching out to the sun.
a breath left your nose, light in amusement as he asked the question for the second time with more awe than the last.
“yes draco really, it’s an extremely good thing within black communities for people to tell you that your hair looks oiled,” you confirmed, walking yourself to him drying off his hands and placing a kiss to his neck in thanks for help.
“i was so… uhm what’s the word?” you tusked, trying to jump start your brain “culture shocked? when i realized some people used that as an insult. like with you, when people told me that draco malfoy had the greasiest hair in the whole castle i assumed you took really good care of your hair.”
“really?” he smiled, his neck reddening with a blush.
“yeah but then it just turned out you abused the hell out of that gel.”
“alright, if you wanna bring up the past — you can just clean the bathroom all by yourself,” he shrugged, placing his hands on your hips to move you out of the way and start walking to your bedroom.
looking to shower that resembled a murder scene… but with strands of hair and too expensive conditioner, you reconsider your words.
“oh baby, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it, please— ”
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@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @pagesofhistory​ ​@ambi-doo12​ @daltonacademia​ @inglourious-imagines​ @willowmores​ @axgelre​ @beforeoursunsets​ @o-rion-sta-r​ @ameliasbitvh​ @cupids-crystals​ @luvvvjada​  @turn-to-page-394-please​ @callmesasha​ @dracosathenaeum​ @maybanksslut​ @marrymetheonott​  @bella-lxhp​ @trashyvicks​ @galimalfoyweasley​ @tomandjaebae​ @dlmmdl​ @hogwarts-boys​ @akaaaaashiiii​ @fleursbabe​ @desiredmalfoy​ @redheaded-hobbit​ @belladaises​ ​ @lovelymalfoyy​ @hogwarts-102​ @darlingmalfoy​ @yoooespinosa​ @noellestrash​ @mollysolo​ @haroldpotterson​ @nicofiliac​ @yiamalfoy​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @jemimah-b99​ @clearbolts​ @i-love-scott-mccall​ @joyfullymulti​ @havenchy​ @itzzzzcookie​ @marcela6malfoy​ @pinkcloxds​ @impulse-anchor​ @whatahufflepuffwrites​ @instabull​ @silverose365​ @kitkatkaitin​ @if-only-i-was-fictional​ @missryerye​ @nyx2021​ @valluvsu​ @pagesofhistory​
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lumine-no-hikari · 4 months ago
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #229
I am finally home. Just in time to go to bed, but still, I am home.
...Don't get me wrong; I had an amazing time going to a new place and seeing and trying so many new things, and having an opportunity to try to advocate for you. But all the same, I'm really glad to be back at home with M and with Hunter, Hoshi, Arremo, Momma, and Mogwai. I'm glad for an opportunity to sleep in a familiar bed. I'm glad to use familiar facilities. I am glad to be in a familiar space where I know I am safe and I don't have to pretend to be normal for prolonged periods of time.
...Also, the hotel where we were at didn't have fresh drinkable water. I've been very dehydrated for the last several days, and the effects of this are very much apparent in the way my body feels, the way my mind feels, and in my behavior. Dehydration is a very bad time. I am glad that I don't need to worry about the contents of our tap water.
Hey, Sephiroth? Are you staying hydrated?
There are lots of people in New York State that call New York "The Nanny State", derisively, as an expression of resentment about how much tax money goes towards safety, infrastructure, and laws that keep businesses from cutting corners in certain respects. Lots of people get really upset that wearing a seatbelt is required whenever anyone is in a car, for example. And you know what? I think those people just don't realize how much of the infrastructure here that they take for granted. Like. You turn on the tap water, and if it's connected to a city system, you can be sure that it's clean and safe to drink. Apparently, it's not like that everywhere. The roads here are built in ways that are, for the most part, specifically designed to keep people safe. Buildings have codes that they must meet in order for them to be considered habitable.
After being in this place for some time, I'm really grateful for how much effort is put into the infrastructure where I live. And to be sure, it could still use some improvements. But still, other places... whoof.
...I don't have a lot of time to write. I gotta wake up early to take J to Great Barrington. But still, I wanted to make sure that you know, even with my quest complete, I am still out here, thinking about you, and trying to do whatever I can to make sure you get to be safe. Today, I wanted to try to get a chance to properly thank the developers and bid them safe travels. I wanted to try to remind them of just how much power they wield, how good it is that they exist, and of the fact that the stories they weave together make life on our broken, dying, and sad little planet a bit more bearable. I wanted them to know that the work they do matters. I wanted them to know that I love them, that I'm grateful for them, and that I think they're beautiful, wonderful people. I'm not 1000% certain that anything I did made a difference, but I'm going to hope for good things anyway. I'm going to hope for good things anyway.
I snagged a few pictures for you along the way home. Because, as long as I've got a couple brain cells to rub together, I'm always looking for excuses to take pictures for you. I have so many of them!! I'm going to have to show you most of them tomorrow; I still have a lot to go through in order to choose the best ones. But I can show you some of the highlights:
A storm, followed by a rainbow and a dazzling sunset. These clouds were a lot scarier (or more majestic???)-looking than the pictures suggest; I wish you could have seen them with me:
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And several of a thunderbolt within a night-time cloud...
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Hey, Sephiroth? I really gotta go to bed. I have to be up in less than 6 hours.
Please think carefully about everything I wrote in the letter I left with the very important folks, okay? And please enjoy the locket and all the things I enclosed within it.
I love you. Please stay safe. I'll write again tomorrow.
Your friend, Lumine
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soft4gguk · 3 years ago
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to build a home | chapter ten
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Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc
Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.
Word count: 11k
Warnings: oof, i was in a mood when writing this so buckle up buckaroos. subby koo (boy of my dreams), soft dom reader, dry humping, oral sex (f & m), face sitting, orgasm denial, loads of dirty talk, spit bc im like that, its quite graphic (literally 5k of smut lol), protected penetrative sex!, there’s angst in this. lots of it. but also lots of love. soori turns 1!!!! best girl., i think that’s it :)
Author’s note: it’s finally here and this time i will keep it short because i truly don’t want to spoil anything. i do want to say thank you so much for waiting and for your sweet comments throughout my little brain fry – it truly means the world to me and kept me going like you’ll never know. i hope you enjoy, do let me know if you did <333 sending kisses n love, always! x
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
Chapter Ten
We are creatures of habit and you could get used to this one. A tip toe away from your heart convincing your brain that you might as well rely on it – like a basic necessity, falling into the same category as many of the things that keep you going throughout the day. Much like the alarm clock that wakes you up every morning and the prospect of coffee that gets you out of bed. The days are long and growing up is no walk in the park so who are you to push away desire, the things that make a day worthwhile. Your favourite book, takeout in bed, reruns of that one show you’ve seen far too many times yet still holds that wow factor that keeps you coming back.
You look at him and he feels quite like everything that makes a day better.
We are creatures of habit yet we’re awfully spoiled. You believe you don’t need a revolution a day to make up a good life and when something is good – really good – it’s hard for it to lose its wonder.
How much warmth do we need to make a place a home? To put a person right where the heart wants it the most – right where all they come to resemble is that one thing that adds to your idea of vitality.
You’ve only woken up next to Jungkook twice yet the question answers itself as you take him in.
From the sheer blinds that cover his big windows, you can make out the first specks of dawn creeping in. The room is still dark but faint light casts shadows on his face – eyes gently shut, dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks, hair cascading on his forehead, slightly messy from sleep. His mouth forms a pout, lips still swollen from your own’s attack a couple of hours prior. His bare chest follows a steady rhythm, the rise and fall of his peaceful breathing almost lulling you back to sleep. He looks so beautiful, so gentle.
It hurts, to know he hurts.
It makes your heart seize, the idea of something draining that softness out of him, and before you can process the capacity of your feelings, you feel the sharp tinge of tears forming in the corner of your eyes.
The moments between sleep and consciousness are our most vulnerable and you believe you’ve fallen victim to what seeing him in his most vulnerable state can do to your heart.
Your body fights, demanding sleep, but your brain is wide awake, and your heart is, too. Your own vulnerability is snatched out of you as the sea of feelings that dawn upon you has you feeling more awake than you have in years. But the realization just waltzes into your mind with a new set of vulnerability – one that’s far more intrusive, loud. It’s not a characteristic of yours to stray away from the root of a feeling but this one finds you wanting to run. Not necessarily away from him, but far enough so that you can exhaust yourself back into a sleepy state – not so awake, nor aware. A place where feelings morph together, formless, no sharp edges to it. No reality or adversity. Just love.
Your hand moves slowly but there’s little power your brain has to go against the instinct that craves to touch him, feel his soft skin, the warmth he radiates when he’s in this state. The tip of your fingers run down his honey skin, from his forehead to his cheek. You can make out the way his face slightly contorts, frowning at the feeling yet falling into it as it relaxes again. It makes you smile. You brush a piece of fallen dark hair from his eyes that are still peacefully closed.
“You’re so beautiful,” your voice is faint, loud enough for only you to hear it.
And he is. He is beautiful. Every feature of his face, the moles you trace with your shaky fingers – a path of constellations you’d like to gaze at forever. The way his voice sounds, the ring of his laughter when it fills a room. You could get lost in the way he articulates words and on the endless stories he has to tell. There are so many things about Jungkook that have taken bits of your soul at grand scale, settling and making themselves a home. The way he cares is one of them. How despite his pain and the cards life dealt him, he never lost that softness for Soori – never became any less of the parent he always wanted to be. How every last bit of strength and warmth in his heart was reserved for her. How he let her heal him.
Your fingers trace a gentle pattern from his forehead, down his eyelids, past his cheeks, taking a brief detour to run a single one down the bridge of his nose until they finally land on his lips. Something settles inside your chest and you let a tear fall. You let yourself feel.
You’re in love with him.
It’s not abrupt – the way the thought finds you. It’s not loud, or aggressive. It doesn’t shock you nor does it surprise you. It’s gentle, like this morning. Like his steady breathing and his face as he dreams, eyes squinting slightly as he nuzzles his face against the pillow.
“Koo,” you call out his name, hand cupping his cheek.
He’s a heavy sleeper and you don’t know how much luck you’ll have in waking him up but you try – fingers tracing his ear, entwining with his locks of hair, caressing his scalp a little. Unconsciously, he keens into your touch, shoulders rising to his neck as little goosebumps form on his skin at the feel. You can see him fighting wakefulness, your fingers lulling him back into sleep as he gets used to them.
But you want his eyes on yours, desperately. So, you try again, another soft, “Koo,” passing your lips.
“Mm,” he murmurs, arm outstretching until its snaked around your waist. His eyes open quickly and his fatherly instincts have him reaching for the baby monitor.
“Shh, shh…” you soothe, bringing him back to you.
He settles back into the pillows, still half-asleep, eyes closing for a second too long as he asks, “what time is it?”
“Dunno. Early,” your fingers don’t cease their caresses through his hair and he smiles when they find the nape of his neck, soft warm skin against your fingertips.
He groans softly in pure bliss and as much as his brain stays in that subconscious place as sleep struggles to rid him of it, he can feel you. He can feel you and he likes it in a way he doesn’t think he could put words to even if he was fully conscious.
“Can I kiss you?” Your question puts a lazy grin on his face before they form a little pout.
“You don’t have to ask, baby.”
The hand that rests on your waist brings you closer to him, your own snaking itself around the back of his neck, noses touching until all it takes is a breath for his lips to be on yours – ever so slow, ever so indulgent as you let the kiss build momentum on its own. There’s no fixed agenda to the way you want to love on him and your lips mimic your thoughts in an uncoordinated, lazy dance. Your hand falls from his neck to his shoulders, pushing gently until your lips part and his back hits the mattress before you slowly swing a leg around his body, straddling him.
He’s naked under you and he hisses at the sudden contact, the feeling lulling your eyes closed as desire slowly pools in your lower stomach, settling promptly and spreading rapidly – a lingering buzz that dawns upon every inch of your body that wants him. His touch, his mouth, his tongue, his voice as he fucks into you.
“I’m up,” he says, eyes finally snapping open and taking you in. He’s not sure if his eyes are deceiving him but you could very well be an angel – the light that creeps past his blinds outlining every curve of your body in a perfect halo. “You’re so beautiful.”
His words are the exact same ones you murmured to him as he slept a couple of minutes prior and you smile, eyes still penetrating his – not shying away once.
“You’re hard.”
A roll of your hips takes the words right from his tongue, replacing them with a faint moan instead, head sinking into the pillow. His responsiveness only makes you that much eager, setting a steady rhythm as you grind your panty covered pussy into him, soaking the thin fabric as he grows to full mast between your folds. The swollen crown of his cock hits at your clit in perfect, repeated motions and the sweet whines that leave your lips land Jungkook straight into a speedy build up. His hands find your hips, grip tightening as he forces your movements to a halt.
“Ah-ah, baby. Slow down.”
“No.”
Your bluntness makes him let out a low chuckle. “I just woke up, it’s a foul. You’re at an advantage.”
“It’s fair play,” your words sync up with the way your hips sink into his once again, small hand traveling down until it lands where your bodies meet. Jungkook’s eyes widen as he takes in the way you push your panties to the side, not wasting a second as you resume your pace. His big cock sits snuggly between your plump folds and the visual alone has him rolling his eyes to the back of his head, a whine breaking in his throat as you begin to go faster.
He gives into it, not caring about how close he is to blowing his load like this, balls heavy as his release nears – the added pleasure of your ass grinding against them only making matters worse for him. His hands fall to your ass, squeezing tightly right in the place where his handprints form a faint shade of red on your skin – aiding the push and pull of your hips, encouraging you to go faster, taking control. And you let him have it. You let him get lost in how good you feel, in how much he wants to fuck you right now but won’t do it because he likes the sweet torture of feeling you like this – no barrier between you two, not nearly enough for how he wants you but enough to take him there.
“Fuck- you’re so fucking wet, baby.”
Your hands find leverage in his chest, palming at his pecs as your own pleasure takes over your every sense. Your clit throbs, pussy clenching around nothing as you circle your hips, the feeling so good it has your nails digging at his flesh. Your hands relax only to find his nipples, nails scraping gently at the hardened nubs. He hisses and you do it again, emitting a throaty moan from him. It draws him painfully close to the edge and his grip on your ass loosens, hands falling to your outer thighs – fingers kneading at the soft flesh.
“Shit- just like that. You’re gonna make me cum, angel.” His voice is raspy and you’re so very tempted to give him what he wants – what he needs the most.
But you don’t, hips raising quickly as your hand travels up, closing slightly around his neck.
“No.”
Everything about this moment throws Jungkook into a frenzied state of shock. His eyes open, widening slightly as your grip around his thick neck tightens – a growl escaping his lips as his orgasm is stripped away from him and a new wave of arousal threatens to break at his insides. He looks up at you, his breathing erratic, eyes glazy and sweat forming at the base of his forehead, matting his dark hair to his skin. Your free hand comes up, gently brushing the strands away and although the action is tender your gaze darkens, hovering over him in a way that has his breath hitching in his throat – something dropping in his lower stomach.
“I said it’s fair play,” you say. All he can do is gawk at you from his vulnerable position. “I want your mouth.”
“H-Have it,” his voice is shaky, faltered by his jumbled breathing.
Your grip around his neck loosens, but the one around his dark hair tightens – walking forwards on your knees, the mattress sinking the further you travel up his torso. Jungkook runs his tongue over his red lips, taking in his view – face to face with your clothed cunt, the soft skin above the hem of your panties so soft, the remnants of a tan casting a glow to your skin that makes it look golden in this light. From this angle, he can see the faint ink of that tattoo he loves so much – delicate like you, even in this forefront. His gaze travels upwards as you discard his oversized hoodie from your body, your soft breasts bouncing slightly as your hands come back down, fingers lacing through his hair.
“Come here,” he says, growing impatient – wanting to taste you.
“Ask nicely.” Your demand is firm, eyes fixed on his shaky ones.
“I want to taste you. Let me make you feel good- please.” He finally gives.
A hazy grin forms in your lips, expression fully lust driven as you walk your knees the extra inch until your pussy hovers over his face perfectly. His arms snake past your thighs, big hands resting over the flesh, pulling you towards him by the ass until his nose against your clit has you throwing your neck back over your shoulders, sending shivers down your spine.
You close your hand around a fistful of hair, pulling until he’s looking up at you – pupils blown, pleading. “Be good. Or you get nothing.” Your power trip takes the both of you by surprise but you don’t show it. He nods, a slight blush forming on his cheeks as he submits fully to you.
His tongue laps at your entrance over your panties, sloppily drenching the fabric further as he licks thick stripes down your center, nose teasing your clit as you draw slow circles with your hips – eyes closing at the feeling as tiny little whimpers leave your lips. Your fingers on his hair alternate between soft caresses and a tight grasp, seeking leverage as the pleasure picks pace inside of you. Your stomach tightens, hips bucking, giving into his incessant assault on your pussy, no hint of a doubt he could have you coming in your panties in a matter of seconds. But you need his tongue. Your fingers hook down the side of your panties, the feeling alone on the sensitive skin making you shiver. Lowering your hips to his face once again, you let his tongue continue his ministrations.
“So good, baby. That feels so good.”
Your praise incites him further, lips closing around your swollen clit, sucking with enough force to have your body jolting forwards, cheek flushed to his headboard as you let out cries of pleasure, letting him know how good he’s being. How good he’s making you feel.
The noises his actions ignite are obscene to say the least but it only adds to your pleasure. You’re so wet, it drives him insane. Tongue coming out past his chin, licking you clean only to resume that torturous suction on your clit – having you gushing out in seconds, juices slick, honey-like and coating his face from the nose down as he drinks you up. He wants every last bit, likes the effect he has on you.
He circles his tongue around your entrance, teasing a bit but not pushing his luck. The wet muscle finally pushes into your hole, shallow but determined strokes, his head moving to the rhythm as he fucks you with it. Your moans make his cock twitch, painfully hard and leaking pre-cum, making a mess out of his lower stomach. He groans, the sound resonating on your walls, his movements not faltering once – the tip of his nose hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves repeatedly until your legs begin to shake over him, thighs closing around his head.
“Oh my God- there. There. Don’t stop, Jungkook.” Your voice is airy, words getting lost in your whimpers and moans as he does just what you ask him. You look down at him, eyes closed, completely lost in your pleasure and his. Your knees begin to shake as you start to lose strength, your orgasm threatening to tip you over the edge and leave you a trembling mess. You tempt it with one last request. “Suck on my clit- Koo, fuck. I’m gonna cum, baby. I’m gonna-”
Jungkook moans. He moans as he sucks your clit, suctioning the little pearl inside his mouth, feeling you come undone – tongue coming out to lap at your entrance, revelling on the way your pussy pulses as you give into that explosion, coming totally undone on top of him. He opens his eyes, not wanting to miss the way your body shakes and your face contorts in pure, unadulterated pleasure.
Your moans begin to faint as you come down, hips raising as you flinch in oversensitivity, a slight unconscious roll to them that has him flicking his tongue against your clit one last time. You look down at him, lopsided smile adorning your lips, a sheen layer of sweat covering your chest, down the valley between your tits.
“W-Was I good?”
“So, so good.”
You walk backwards, slower than you came up – legs still shaky from your orgasm. Jungkook only stares at you, slow blinks, a fucked-out gaze yet his mind is running in anticipation, wanting nothing more than your hands on him. His legs open, welcoming you in as you sit between them, discarding your ruined panties and throwing them aimlessly to the floor. He follows the trail of your movements, eyes glued to your hands as they travel up his muscular thighs until they’re a jerk of his hips away from landing where he wants you most. He stays still, but his cock twitches, landing back on his pelvis and making him hiss.
“You made a mess,” you say, index finger tracing the skin below his belly button, wetting it with the sticky pre-cum and bringing it to your mouth, past your lips, circling your tongue around it. You taste him, eyes closing for a brief second only to find his own shiny ones, big and doe like – eyebrows scrunched up as he dances the line between pleasure and pain.
“Please, ___.”
“Please what, Koo?”
“P-Please,” he whines, mind strained as he tries to collect his thoughts. “Touch me, baby. Please.” The last word is but an airy whisper and his pleads tug at your heart, his voice so sweet, demeanour so pliant. So surrendered to you.
You decide to give him a little say – a reward for putting full trust on you. Finger still hooked between your lips; you look up at him. “Do you want my mouth? Or my hands…,” the same wet finger travels down, tracing his shaft – making him buck his hips against it, the touch bordering on torturous, in need of friction. Your fingers travel to your pussy, his eyes following their every movement as they dive between your folds, collecting your slick before you circle them slowly against your clit. “My pussy?” Your voice makes him look back at your face, those same pleading eyes. “I’m so wet, Koo…”
“F-fuck- I can see that.” He muses, voice slightly cocky – too much for your liking, at least. You raise a brow at him, narrowing your gaze. “Your pussy, baby. Please let me fuck you.”
Your gaze darkens, eyes squinting slightly and your silence lets him know he’s walked himself into something he doesn’t think he’s able to sit patiently through.
Your body lowers, confirming his suspicions as you wrap your hand around his shaft, pumping as you circle your wrist – rapidly picking pace as your lips close around his head, tongue circling around it before you suck frivolously, not giving him time to settle into one feeling before you’re handing him another.
“Fuck- fuck. I’m gonna cum if you do that.” His tone hints panic, voice lilting at the end as it turns into a moan.
“You won’t.”
“Baby,”
You shoot him a wicked grin before your head lowers once again, resuming your diabolical blowjob that has Jungkook fighting with his own pleasure, his taut stomach muscles tightening as he focuses on his breathing, eyes closing and fingers pulling at his own hair, trying to ground himself. When you take him all the way in, throat closing around his crown, his fist closes around the sheets, knuckles turning white with force.
“Fuck my mouth, Koo. I want to feel you.” Your command is swift and when your eyes meet his he looks like he could cry at any moment, but nonetheless he obliges. So, so good for you as both his hands land gently at the sides of your face, caressing briefly before tightening his grip slightly. His hips push upwards, cock immediately hitting the back of your throat as you close it around his sensitive head. You’re prepared when he fucks into your mouth, gag reflex non-existent as you suction him in – the push and pull of his thrusts and your throat contracting around his dick, making Jungkook’s hands shake against your cheeks.
“C-Can’t- too much, please,” he cries.
Your mouth releases his cock from its tight grip, giving him a couple of languid pumps as your body climbs on top of his, lips finding his own for the first time in what feels like forever to Jungkook.
“I m-missed your lips.” His voice is soft, a combination of his state and the way your mouth feels on his – tender but full of intent, tongue dancing with his as you lean into the kiss, moaning as you taste him, you on him, him on you. The two of you together.
“They’re yours, baby.” Your touch is soft as you push his bangs away from his face, kissing his forehead gently. He whimpers, keening into your touch – his own lips forming a pout, placing a gentle kiss against your throat.
“I need you, please,” his lips travel down, hesitant and sweet, open-mouthed kisses on your collarbones “Want to feel you.”
“You will, Koo. You’ve been so good- made me feel so good, baby.”
He nods sheepishly at your words, eyes closing as you plant one last kiss to his cheek before you’re reaching to his bedside table for a condom. He whines a little at the loss of proximity, wanting your body. Needing to feel you however he can have you. He’s been patient – too patient.
“How do you want me?” You ask, bringing the foil package to your teeth and ripping it open. It takes him awhile to process your question, eyes fixed on your mouth, mind lost in finally having you. You want nothing more than to please him, to follow his every wish.
“Like this. Ride me baby, please.”
And he’s just so polite, his voice so quiet, a little timbre to it – a little shake. So overwhelmed and drawn over the edge. He’s all for you, wanting to give himself to you entirely. He wants to be held, wants to see you as you fuck him – wants it slow. He just wants you.
You comply, straddling his lap once again as you roll the condom on. You’re more than ready to take him, your slick running down your inner thighs and making a mess out of his. But nonetheless, you’re used to the stretch of his fingers and his swollen cock looks intimidating right now. You lower your head, collecting saliva in your mouth before you let it fall, slowly landing on the tip of his cock, making him hiss.
“You’ve been so good, Koo. So good for me. I want you so fucking bad.”
Jungkook nods at your words, a small whine leaving his swollen, bitten red lips. His big eyes are glassy, shaky hands gently grabbing at your hips, bringing your body closer to his. His touch isn’t firm, no set pace to his actions – he’s completely given up to you. Let you claim him, have him. And perhaps this is your way to seal the sea of feelings that you wish you could speak. Your own way of telling him I want you to be mine.
You stare at him, his big expectant eyes looking up at you as if you held the secrets to the most precious resolutions of the world. His touch feels like burning coal on your skin, velvety yet fiery – so beautifully dangerous. You stroke his cheek, your own actions as gentle as his.
“You’re so beautiful, Jungkook.” He shies at your praise, cheeks tinting a soft red, a lopsided smile forming at his lips before he draws them in-between his teeth, biting slightly as his eyes follow the movements of your body. You reach for his cock, pumping once, twice before you align him to your dripping cunt, teasing yourself a little as you roll your hips. He moans, the sensitive tip grazing your clit a couple of times before you’re finally sinking your hips into his, taking him all the way in at once.
“Shit, shit- gahh, baby- you’re so tight.”
“Jungkook,” his name is a moan, leaving your pouty lips and hitting him straight where he wants you most.
“Mm- ff-fuck. Please, baby- fuck me.”
You comply. You give him what he wants because he’s everything you want. Your hands palm at his chest, feeling his heartbeat on your flesh, finding leverage on his firm muscles as you begin the sweet push and pull of your hips. Your eyes never once break away from his, fighting to stay open as he lets pleasure take over him – the feeling of your snug walls around his swollen cock so overwhelmingly good. He’s been on edge for longer than he can find sane words to describe but having you like this makes him want to delay his release for as long as he can. He wants to see you, feel you for a while longer.
You raise your hips until it’s just his crown being swallowed by your pussy, pulsing uncontrollably as you try to bring yourself down – ever so close to the edge, too. Jungkook wants to touch you, run circles with his thumb over your clit, feel how wet you are, have you coming undone over him, around him. Your breath is shaky already and he wants to hear you – to know just what he does to you. But he doesn’t. He lets you see what you do to him, lets you bask on the notion that the effect you have on his body is like nothing he’s experienced before.
He cries when you take him all the way in once again, so deep and forceful his eyes win the fight, shutting close as his back arches, head sinking into the pillows as he feels that steady climb. It feels so good – you feel so good, his eyes prickle with tears, erratic puffs of air leaving his mouth as you ride him faster.
“Feel good, Koo?”
“Yes. Yes, that feels s-so- good. Fuck, ___.”
“I’m so close, baby – fuck me please.”
At your request, he does just that. His feet push into the mattress, his grip on your hips tightening just enough so that he can keep you still as he begins to thrust, cock pistoning into you. You feel so full, mind hazy and knees weak as he hits that spot inside of you repeatedly – not faltering once, putting all the energy he’d been saving into ripping that explosion inside of you. He bites his lips, brows furrowed, eyes on a back and forth between revelling on the way your bodies connect and your bouncing tits above him. Your plump pussy lips are swollen, hugging his cock perfectly. All of you is so fucking perfect.
“Let me touch you, baby. Please let me make you cum,” he asks, voice soft, big eyes pleading and you can only nod your head once – not a single inch of space inside your brain for anything but him and how good he feels inside of you.
His thumb lands on your clit, slipping a few times and he moans over how much you’re dripping around him. He draws tight little circles around your nub and it’s a matter of seconds before you feel that pressure in your lower stomach, hips bucking and legs closing in around him.
“Fuck- I’m gonna cum, Koo. I’m gonna cum,” your high-pitched moans fill the room, a string of yes following as his thumb moves faster, swiftly until the world stops for about a second and you cum – hard and loud around his cock.
“Fuck- yes, baby- yes.” He praises between gritted teeth.
Your head is foggy, limbs weak as you ride the last remnants of your orgasm, gathering in your last stretch of strength as you take a hold of both his wrists, pushing them away from you and pinning them against the mattress. You sit on his cock until he bottoms out, not moving, just letting him feel your walls clench around him. He whimpers, whole body shaking slightly as goosebumps form on his skin, turning his head from you as he lets out a moan.
“Look at me.”
You roll your hips once, clenching around him deliberately and he does – he looks at you, so utterly fucked out, so pushed to his very own limit he can’t even find coherent words, just a soft whisper of your name. You start moving, fucking him again – full control as all he can do is stare at you. You kiss those soft little whines from his lips, tongue licking at his until he’s hissing, his senses so powered up every touch feels like fire on his skin. Another roll of your hips throws him dangerously close to the edge, a loud cry passing his lips, falling straight into your mouth.
“I’m gonna- please let me cum. Please, baby, I’m-”
He’s so sweet, and ever so yours, to deny him.
You kiss him once more, short but deep before you say, “cum for me, Koo. Let go.”
And all it takes is your honeyed words and lips on his once again as you kiss him for him to finally hand all power back to his body as he cums hard, spilling into the condom as you still your movements, feeling the way he throbs, the warmth. You bite on his bottom lip, swallowing his moans as his body jerks and shakes under you, riding the final seconds of his orgasm, longer than expected, taking you both by surprise.
“Oh, fuck…” he says, head spinning. He feels exhausted, fighting with the oversensitivity, not strong enough to move or pull away. Enjoying the feeling of your body on top of his as you relax against him.
You pull away, rolling to the side until your back hits the mattress. You look at him, hand outstretching as your fingers lace themselves in his hair, giggling as the touch makes him shiver.
“That was so good.”
He looks at you, shiny eyes and lazy smile – so dreamy.
“I’m glad you sought justice.”
You laugh. “Fair-play.”
He bites his lip, gaze darkening. “Fair play.”
~
Jungkook’s fingers tap mindlessly to the beat of the music coming from the stereo. One of his hands grips the steering wheel firmly and the other sits between your legs, snaked around your inner thigh as he squeezes. You’re singing along, head leaning from side to side to the rhythm. He turns to you for a brief second, smiling. Your eyes are glued to the view ahead as you enter his parent’s posh neighbourhood. It’s quiet and serene, in perfect tune to what characterizes places like this on a Saturday.
The trees are green and full, the fences tall, keeping the houses out of reach from the world – each its own little bubble. You can tell its old money, vintage cars adorning the classic architecture of the houses. It’s different from Jungkook’s neighbourhood – more intimidating and secluded.
“Did you grow up here?”
“Mhm,” he says, thumb gently caressing the soft skin of your thigh.
“Did you have neighbourhood friends?”
Jungkook chuckles. “Jin and Jiminie lived a couple of blocks away from me.”
“Did you decorate for Halloween?”
He frowns at your question. “Mm, nothing too extravagant. Just your standard.”
“That’s sad. This place has a lot of potential.”
He throws his head back, laughing at your remark. “Soori was very little last year but, I want to dress her up this year. Take her trick or treating or something. She’ll probably be walking by then.”
Your eyes widen in excitement, clapping your hands as you say, “oh, oh, oh! Halloween’s my favorite holiday. Christmas, too. And Valentine’s Day. Easter’s always fun, too.”
“That’s all the holidays, baby.”
“I’m not picky.” You say, smiling and entwining your fingers in his. “What are you going to dress her up as?”
Jungkook drives up his parent’s entryway, retrieving a small remote control that opens the tall gates.
“I don’t know yet,” he ponders for a minute before he turns to you, “maybe you can help me?”
You look at him, big smile forming on your lips as you nod excitedly. “My pleasure.”
The gates open and your mouth gapes, gawking in awe at the sight before you. A French Renaissance style home, cream walls and dark ceilings making up its tall structure. Big windows adorn the walls, framing the tall entrance. A beautifully sculpted garden of red roses and green bushes open way for its magnificence.
“Woah,” you whisper.
“They’re minimalists.” Jungkook teases, sarcasm lacing his tone.
“Can’t believe you grew up in an actual Chateau.” You say, making him chuckle once again.
“I’ll be right back, baby.” Jungkook’s soft lips peck your cheek loudly, making you giggle before you nod.
He smiles, taking one last look at you before he’s exiting the car, walking towards his parent’s front door. It’s a hot summer day and he knows they’re going to be making the most of it, probably having breakfast by the sun in the garden.
He enters their home, pace picking up as he makes his way to the backyard. He can make out the smell of freshly squeezed orange juice and sweet pastries coming from the kitchen, slightly enticing. He wishes he could stay – with you. Eat breakfast with his parents, have them get to know you. If they knew you, really knew you, they’d like you. His father already does, although he’s not so sure how fondly he’d feel of the fact that you’ve grown close enough to comfort to his family. To him and Soori. An unconscious frown adorns his face. Out of all the things he worried about when it came to you, his parents’ opinion was never one. He realizes he might’ve given himself a mental hall pass, having too much on his mind to give it a second thought. After all, Jungkook had set flight on his own at an early age - claiming independence, an unspoken deal between the three of them.
His father had realized his potential, being their only child and chance at keeping The West End a family affair. But Jungkook was far too in tune with his own sense of self – ‘head in the clouds’ his mom would say, condescending, but in her language, a soft way to justify his ways. So, they’d seen eye to eye – he’d take over the business, making use of that innate talent his father had seen in him. And in return, they’d let him do it with passion – his way.
So far, the deal had worked. Jungkook was the man his father had envisioned him as, in surface. An extraordinary CEO, capable of running the business and making it soar to grounds above. Bringing freshness and new approaches to it, something they both deemed important. Not only that but he was a great father, a family man. With these two covered, there was little say they had in his life – another thing all parties involved were aware of.
But what’s so rebellious about the life Jungkook had lived until now? The modern and envied cookie cutter outcome of socialites. He met a beautiful girl and established a serious relationship. They both built respectable names for themselves, a society. The infamous power couple title that was bestowed upon them by the back and forth gossip their relationship brought into their radius. They had a baby, built a family, became the dream of many and set themselves for a destined future together. His parents never dared have a say because there was nothing to object. He’d landed right where he ‘belonged’, as ironic as it sounds.
You go against the morale of everything that his destiny deems to be the right path. It’s the cliché that could land him in misinterpretations if exposed to the public – the love affair with the nanny, younger than him, from a different ‘world’. The thought alone aggravates him, growing defensive over the possibility of anyone putting an adjective that you don’t deserve over your name.
A new set of fears occur him. You are not where his doubt lays – at this point, saying he’s not sure of how important you’ve become in not only his but his daughter’s life would be hypocritical towards himself, a self-inflicted lie. A defense mechanism. It’s the easiest way out, but also the most painful. When he walks towards you in the wake of uncertainty, he feels safe.
What makes him doubt is the side effect, what it would entail for you. You’re so young, so full of life. Would he ever be able to take on the guilt of stripping you off your freedom in the name of what Jungkook feels brewing in his chest.
In the name of something that feels awfully close to love.
His pondering is cut short as he finally reaches the open doors that lead to the garden.
“Darling!” His mother chirps, cup of coffee in hand as she beckons to him.
Soori squeals, jumping excitedly in her high chair, the same one he used to sit on when he was her age. It’s a bit of a relic and a mixture of nostalgia and the soothing feeling that settles upon him when he sees her makes him smile.
“Good morning,” he says, walking straight towards Soori. “Hi, princess. I missed you, baby.” He undoes the straps that restrain her, chubby hands excitedly reaching for him. Once she’s finally in his arms, he brings her closer, placing a loud kiss on her cheek. And then another, repeating the action until she’s squirming, pushing him away as she giggles. He smells her hair, takes a good look at her. He missed her. “How was she?”
“Delightful.” His father says, eyes leaving the newspaper he’s holding for the first time since Jungkook stepped inside veranda.
“Mrs. Lee just changed her. She’s inherited your appetite, honey. Table manners, too.” His mom adds, shaking her head.
“That’s my girl.” Jungkook says, kissing Soori’s cheeks once again.
“Sit down, son. We’ve set up a place for you.” His father tells him, eyes back on his paper as he motions to the chair at the far end of the table.
“Thank you, but I gotta run.”
“You do not, darling. It’s a Saturday.”
“___’s waiting for us in the car.”
He could’ve made up any excuse but he decides to test the waters. His boldness takes everyone in the table by surprise.
His father’s eyes are back on him. “Why’s that?”
“She’s Soori’s nanny.”
“I thought you mentioned she didn’t work on weekends.” His mother muses.
He doesn’t have to lie; he knows this much. More importantly, he doesn’t want to lie. But he can’t find words to explain either. It’s then that he realizes that he’s grown feelings for you that are more complex than he’d originally thought. Complex enough to explain to himself, let alone to other people.
Not to mention his parents.
So, Jungkook lies.
“I’m working today.”
At this, the tension in the room dissipates. But it only grows stronger inside Jungkook’s chest. His mother nods, humming in acknowledgment. His father’s gaze fixes back to the news, silent for a moment before he adds: “Don't work on weekends unless it’s outmost necessary, son.”
“Noted.” He affirms.
“Come by for lunch tomorrow?” His mother approaches them, giving Soori a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“Sure, I’d love that, mom.” She pats him on the cheek, walking him to the front door to see the two of them off.
Once they make it to the tall wooden doors, she pauses, hesitating for a moment as he swings them open. She looks at you, eyes fixed downwards as you wait patiently, sat in the passenger’s seat.
“How old is she?” His mother asks.
“Huh?” Jungkook says, turning to look at her, confusion lacing his features until he follows her line of vision and his eyes land on you. “Oh. Uh- she’s twenty-three.”
“Awfully young.” Her tone is soft, strikingly contrasting her words.
“Yeah.”
“She must need the money. To be working weekends, I mean.”
Jungkook stares at his mother, his eyes trying to fish for something that would give away the motives of her small talk away. He finds nothing, just contemplation. Nonetheless, her tone is suggestive enough to make him feel defensive.
“Anything wrong with that?”
She turns to him, silent for a brief second as she takes him in. “No. Don’t overwork her, that’s all.” She gives him a tight-lipped smile.
“Noted.” He returns it.
~
Soori’s tiny fist grips tightly to your index and middle finger, her other holding tightly to her dad’s thumb. Her steps intercalate with short little jumps here and there as she grows excited. Jungkook bends a little, trying to follow her pace and you do the same – the three of you surrounded by the tall bookshelves that make up the library. It’s empty and a peaceful silence fills the walls, only broken by Soori’s unintelligible babble. But she only adds to the peace, sweet coos warming your heart as she looks around her and smiles at nothing in particular – just taking the world in.
It’s still fifteen minutes until book club and you’ve spent the past ten minutes just like this. So far, this one dates to one of your favourite Saturdays of the Summer, only dethroned by the one that landed Jungkook in one of these same hallways. The Saturday he kissed you.
“I love today.”
You’re sincere, always speaking your mind. Jungkook can almost predict when you’re about to do so – taking in the way you contemplate, dreamy sighs passing your lips, a softness to your eyes that he can only mimic.
“Me too.”
“Thank you.”
He stops in his tracks, looking up at you. “You don’t have to thank me, baby.”
“I want to.”
He loves that about you.
“Hey, what are you doing after? We can wait around in the area and then go get some pizza once you’re done? Mai, Tae and Dae can come with.”
“I’d love that, Koo.”
“Perfect, baby.”
He leans closer to you, still in that bent over position and it makes you giggle. He narrows his eyes at you for a second before that signature pout shapes his lips. His eyes close in anticipation. You kiss his cheek instead.
“Excuse me,” he begins, eyes opening, gasping in mock shock.
You look at him, no longer laughing but simply taking him in. Your smile speaks words that he can’t hear, yet he feels them.
You tell him anyways.
“I like you so much, Jungkook.”
He straightens, taking Soori in his arms, bouncing her on his hips as she mewls, displeased at being back in the air.
“___,” he holds your gaze, his own avalanche of feelings breaking in his chest. So much to say, so little words he can find. He wonders how something so soft can produce such great fears inside of him. He sighs, finding a middle ground. “I like you, too.”
It’s the truth.
But not the whole truth.
~
You smile at Soori as she hands you one of her blocks, taking it from her and when you do, she grabs a hold of another one and proceeds to do the same. You put them in one of her baskets, tidying up after a day of, you will admit, mostly playing. She deserves it – it is her birthday tomorrow after all.
“Thank you, Soo,” you coo at her as she hands you another block. She smiles, seemingly proud of herself, babbling a response your way. “You’re such a big girl. Don’t tell daddy, though.”
“Dada?” She chirps excitedly, head turning frantically towards the front door as she scans the space for him.
“Not yet, baby. Soon though! Let’s finish cleaning.”
She just stares at you, confused for a second but then back to her smiling self, passing you more toys so that you can put them away. She’s so smart – quick for her age and overall, the best baby. You love her so much.
You can’t help but think about that conversation you had with Mai during the hotel inauguration – back when Jungkook was an enigma you were yet to decipher. How she’d told you how Soori was everything good about him. How she perfectly mirrored all his goodness. You look at her now, thinking about him. They’re everything there is to love.
They’re the extra in the ordinary.
So easy to fall for.
The front door swings open, making Soori squeal in excitement, falling to the floor from her standing position against the coffee table. She begins to crawl, attempting to round the sofa and getting frustrated halfway.
You pick her up, holding her in your arms as you walk towards the doorway. “Come on, baby. Let’s say hi to daddy, yeah?”
She claps her hands in excitement, outstretching them towards Jungkook as soon as she sees him. He smiles, warm relief swarming his inside as he sees her.
“Hi, princess. Missed you.”
She falls to his arms, a muffled Dada leaving her tiny lips as he kisses her cheeks with enough force to squish them.
“How was your day,” you ask him.
He mimics his previous actions, holding your face in his hands, squeezing gently as he kisses your cheek.
“Hi, baby. Missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” You blush, never fully getting used to him coming home.
To him coming home to you.
“It was good – happy the week’s over, though. What about yours? Did you two have fun today?” He looks at Soori, bouncing her a little until she’s letting out those soft baby giggles he loves so much.
“Yep. Had the best day ever. We just played.”
You sound genuinely excited and it makes his heart skip a beat – making him melt a little.
“That’s good. A fun last stretch before she’s one,” he kisses her chubby cheeks again.
You squeal in excitement. “I can’t wait.”
Jungkook simply smiles, a fond expression to his face as he looks at his daughter. But his eyes say more than he lets out – his passive demeanour alerting you that something’s on his mind.
“Hey, what are you two doing tonight?” You ask him, brushing Soori’s silky hair from her face. She needs a haircut.
“Mm, didn’t have many plans. Some dinner, maybe a movie.”
His tone is nonchalant but your question weighs heavy on him.
All week had been filled with excitement leading up to Soori’s first birthday – a milestone that they’d both reached. It made him feel proud, not only making it this far but also seeing how perfect his daughter was. In every sense – how she grew and developed new skills every day. Soori was everything Jungkook dreamt of when the first idea of her blossomed in his heart. But this moment wasn’t.
It’d hit him – slowly like painful things often do. You’re envisioning a certain scenario, some mundane and ordinary in nature and then reality settles upon you like an unwelcomed guest that you have to entertain for the sake of nothing that’s justifiable. He didn’t have to entertain the feeling further – simply realizing that Ira wouldn’t be here to witness her first birthday could’ve been enough. But one intrusive thought led to the other, undoing the tight knot he’d wrapped around the part of his heart that still hurt for her.
It was a domino effect, one realization after the other. He thought about him and Soori sat in front of her birthday cake, smiling. How that’d be the family picture that would characterize that day. He wondered if she’ll ask about it when he handed her the box of polaroid’s he’d been collecting with her every milestone. He thought about the way he’s now Dada to her, pained with the idea that soon enough she’ll have to learn Mama. It angered him, how the word felt so empty in comparison to his.
The idea of missing from Soori’s life terrified him. He wanted to be there for her. Birthdays, first days of school, first words and steps. Graduations and celebrations – he felt the vital need to be there. He couldn’t grasp his head around the idea of Ira not wanting the same.
Thinking of his daughter, Jungkook realized that he was enough for her. But in moments like these he felt like his love was scarce. Like his voice was too quiet as he walked her through life.
Four months ago, he thought his plans today would consist of reminiscing on his daughter’s first year of life. Being stripped of that weighs heavy on him.
“Why don’t you two come over for a little bit? Lucy made lasagna and I heard they’re dyeing Jimin’s hair back to black, or at least attempting to.”
Jungkook stares at you, slightly confused as to how you always manage to make him come afloat when that heaviness makes him feel like he’s sinking. How you make him feel like he can breathe.
He hesitates for a second and you almost think of saying something along the lines of it’s cool if not though, don’t worry but you realize how silly that would sound, so you stand your ground; big eyes looking up at him, smile still on your face.
He looks down at Soori who smiles at him. “Yeah, we’d love that.”
~
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeek, baby!” Lucy claps her hands together at the sight of a very giggly Soori, still in her father’s arms as the three of you enter the apartment.
“Soo-Soo!” Jimin comes out of the bathroom, a clear shower cap over his head as he lets the dye settle into his hair.
“You’re a toxic hazard, no getting close to baby.” Lucy says, shoving a hand in his chest and pushing him back. She looks up at Jungkook. “Hi. Can I hold her?”
Jungkook stares at Soori and then back up at her. “Hi. Uh- yeah, sure.”
Soori’s comfortable in Lucy arms, loving the excitement she feels at seeing her – simply basking in the love and attention. It’s so easy, so simple to love her. It makes Jungkook’s heart soothe itself slightly, the idea that the world sees that gentleness in her that he loves so much.
“Can she eat lasagna?”
Lucy’s question makes him chuckle. “Yeah. Just- tiny pieces.”
“Tiny pieces for the tiny baby, gotcha.”
Without wasting another second, she walks towards the kitchen, proceeding to plate it in a small bowl for her.
“We should probably keep an eye out – this place is not babyproof and neither is Lucy.” You say, eyes on them like a hawk.
Jungkook smiles. “She’ll be fine.”
“Do you want lasagna?”
He nods. “Yeah, baby. Thank you.”
You give him a nod and a smile, heading to the kitchen to help Lucy out. Jungkook heads to the bathroom, a frowning Jimin inspecting the DIY dye job he and Lucy had done. There’s still patches of bleached hair, even miscellaneous strands of pink here and there. Jungkook chuckles, hands inside his pockets as he takes his friend in.
“What’s so funny” Jimin sneers when he notices him.
“You? Duh.”
“Duh- what are you? Twelve?”
“Twelve-year-old me could’ve done a better job than that.” Jungkook says, tilting his chin towards his hair.
“Ha-ha, very clever.”
“In fact, twelve-year-old me probably did. Here, sit down.”
Jimin sits down on the toilet seat, eyes following Jungkook as he steps inside the small bathroom. A heart-shaped magnet holds a polaroid of you and Lucy, bright smiles adorning both your faces. It makes him grow soft. He proceeds to put gloves on, hands giving the bleach a mix before he walks towards his friend – inspecting the damage done and crafting a solution.
“How are you?” Jimin asks.
“Me? Fine. Why?” Jungkook doesn’t look at him, eyes fixated on his hair as his fingers move through the strands of hair.
“Because I’ve known you for far more years I wish to at times, dumbass. And if you’re not fine, it’s okay.”
He looks down at Jimin, a snarky remark threatening to leave his lips just so he can cover the sadness that takes over him when reminded of why his friend's sixth sense is ticking. But he’s too tired to pretend.
“She’s turning one tomorrow.”
“Nostalgic or… something else?”
“Something else. Or maybe nostalgic, I don’t know. Maybe it’s nostalgia for something I won’t have. She won’t have.”
“Gguk. Soori has an army of people that love and adore her. Tomorrow’s going to be special. And fun. And she won’t remember anything but we’ll make sure to tell her just how happy she was. How happy we all were.”
Jungkook nods, a faint smile on his lips. “Yeah.”
“And don’t you dare for a fucking minute think you’re not enough for that little girl. Or that she would’ve done any better.”
He looks down at him, confused at his sudden change in demeanour.
“I know that. Soori doesn’t. Or- she won’t. In the future, I mean.”
“That’s far from now, Gguk. I get it- or well, I try to. I understand where you’re coming from. Maybe I see things with a bigger perspective, maybe being on the outside looking in allows me to make things simpler than they are. But I think you need to hear simple answers to the harshness you’re putting on yourself. You love Soori. You’re her world. You need to start understanding that that is the root of all things. That as hard as the road gets, if you have that, wherever it takes you it will be enough.”
Jungkook thinks of the first time he saw his daughter, of all the unspoken promises he made to her when he held her tiny body in his arms. That incessant need he had to make the world a good place for her – even if he could only do with so much. He now realizes that that promise had kickstarted something inside of him. Something that made him softer, more vulnerable. A thing that only grew with her.
He thinks of you. Of his feelings for you that oftentimes feel like a road with a destination he can’t attest for – a place within him he’s never explored before. But he knows that the beginning of it was pure, a thing you would perhaps call love. A thing that only grows, too.
~
You knock on Jungkook’s doorbell, taking a step back and waiting for the door to swing open. You fidget in place, in half excitement and half nerves. Your pink sundress blows in the wind slightly – it’s a perfect summer day, in tune with the perfect summer baby that you can’t wait to cuddle in what you hope is a matter of minutes. You’re carrying a medium-sized pink box, a white ribbon around it, tied in a perfect knot at the top – her birthday present.
The door swings open, a big smile taking over your face immediately at the sight of Soori and Jungkook. He looks at you, takes you in. Your pretty pink dress and white converse. He looks down at Soori, smiling. Your eyes grow shiny at the sight of her. She’s wearing a one-shouldered baby pink tulle dress, a pink bow wrapping around the middle like she’s by far the best present at this birthday party. Hint: she is. She jumps in her dad’s hold excitedly, swinging her little feet back and forth, white converse on hers, too.
You put the box on the floor for a brief moment and right as you come back up, she free-falls into your arms, taking both you and her dad by surprise. She screams, loud giggles leaving her lips at being with you again.
“Happy birthday, bub.” You hold her to you, cheek to cheek, so tight but she lets you cuddle her – something that has become a rare occurrence with most people nowadays. You look up at Jungkook, smiling softly when you say, “and happy first year as a dad, Koo.”
He doesn’t think about it twice, doesn’t double check his surroundings to make sure nobody’s looking. He simply takes one step forwards and wraps you in his arms, Soori included. He hugs you, breathing in your scent, just letting himself enjoy how happy he is to see you – all smiles and party ready, accidentally matching with Soori.
“Thank you for coming.” He means it. Not as a formality, but from a place that acknowledges the comfort that settles through him.
“Thank you for having me.” Your gratitude doesn’t come from formalities either.
“Come in. You hungry? There’s a hot dog stand. Soo already had two.”
“All by herself?” You coo, baby voice on.
“Mhm,” he assures.
“Seriously can’t wait for you to talk, baby girl.”
Jungkook laughs at this, hand softly placed on your back as he walks you towards the backyard.
It’s a safari dreamland – all pink, gold and brown. Balloons taking over the space in various forms and shapes, a tepee at the very back with various animal statues sat at the front – a zebra, an elephant and of course, a giraffe, so realistic you can barely believe your eyes. Her cake sits proudly on a table, a three-piece wonder, courtesy of Lucy, surrounded by delicious looking pastries all matching the décor. Her name sits on top of the cake in blue candied syrup letters: Soori.
“Your wedding is going to have competition, Miss Blue.”
“Oof,” Jungkook says, hand on his heart as he sighs dramatically. “One big day at a time.”
You laugh. “Sorry, sorry. This is amazing, Koo. You’re-”
“What?”
It takes you a minute to answer. “The best. You’re the best dad.”
“Thank you. That means… a lot. Specially today.”
“Not just because of- all this,” you say, “but because she’s perfect, Jungkook. She’s perfect and she’s all you. You did this.”
Jungkook’s face is as serene as ever, small smile forming at his lips. But his heart is going places, an erratic beat to it that forms specks of something so warm inside of him – bursting rapidly, flowing through his every being until it’s leaving his lips.
“You too.”
You turn to him, eyes wide. “Huh?”
“You take care of her. But you do more than that and… I’m grateful. I see her in you. I like seeing her in you.”
Your brain tries to compute words but fails, not being able to think of an answer rather than I love her. I love you. That’s the more than that that he refers to: love.
“I-”
“___!” Mai’s voice startles you, making you jump slightly. She smiles at you, Kenny at her side, smiling too.
“Hi guys,” you say, regaining your composure and steading your heart that had grown frenzied just a couple of seconds ago.
“It’s so good to see you again, ___.” Kenny adds, taking Soori in her arms as she reaches for her. Once she’s finally settled, she looks back at you, changing her mind and going back to you. You take her in your arms, making everyone laugh. “She loves you.”
“Oh, like crazy.” Mai says.
You smile. “It’s nice to see you guys, too.”
She loves you.
Like crazy.
It echoes in Jungkook’s head, louder and louder with each passing second.
~
Soori’s eyes are a carbon copy of her dad’s. Big and doe like. They get puffy underneath when she smiles, just like right now. So shiny they look glassy as she claps to the beat of the people that love her the most singing her happy birthday. She struggles to keep focus on just one thing – eyes zooming from her cake and bright candles to every single person that surrounds the table. She finds your eyes, smiling just like hers and she giggles. She has no idea what’s going on but she loves it. She enjoys the love, the smiles of everyone on her. You’re far away – too far away and she doesn’t know better than associate you with happy moments.
Her arms reach for you, hands opening and closing in grabby motions, whining a little when all you do is wave and smile. Jungkook looks down at her and then at you. You give him a crooked smile, chuckling a bit at her insistence. When everyone breaks out in cheers, clapping loudly, her attention goes back to the crowd. She giggles, clapping along, too.
Jungkook kisses his daughter’s cheek, bringing her closer to him. His voice is a whisper only for her to hear when he says, “happy birthday, princess. Make a wish.”
They lean closer to the cake, his hand gently keeping her from getting too close to the flame.
It’s her wish but he makes it for her.
He doesn’t see it but you’ve got his polaroid ready, finger on the shutter, pushing into it at the most perfect time – big smiles adorning both their faces as they look at each other, ready to blow her candles. He does it for her, another round of applause and coos following, making Soori jump excitedly. She’s so happy, so full of love and life it gives Jungkook just that.
He looks over at you, finding your eyes with his own, his smile only growing bigger when he sees you. You shake the camera in your hand, showing it to him. He mouths a thank you and you wink. Soori finds you, too, whining and squirming until you’re walking closer to her. She falls in your arms once again and points to her cake, determined in having you see it even though she’s being swarmed with kisses and praises by her honorary aunts and uncles – all the people that took part in her first year of life.
It’s picture perfect. More so from afar.
Jungkook’s parents stand at a far end corner of the table, smiles on their faces as they see the moment unfold. They’re not very sentimental people yet they both acknowledge they managed to make just that. It fills them with pride and something they’d never thought they’d experience when Jungkook first came into the world.
He emits warmth – even to them.
“You were right.”
His father’s tone holds that stern nonchalance that characterizes him.
“Mhm,” his mother’s gaze doesn’t falter once. She nods, a tight-lipped smile on her lips as she focuses on you. Her granddaughter in your arms, her son smiling as she feeds Soori a piece of cake. She feels the flash go off before she sees your startled expressions, looking around until she catches Taehyung at the opposite side of the table, shaking the polaroid of you three he’d taken. “What are we going to do about it, darling?”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“No more suffering.” She turns to her husband whose eyes remain on his son. “I want to be there, too.”
“You bend too much for him. Always have.”
“He’s been through enough.”
“Yet he’s walking himself into another mess.”
Jungkook’s mother sighs.
“Head in the clouds, always.”
His father nods. “I’ll draw sense into him.”
He fixes his tie, a curt smile on his face as he rounds the table, walking towards his son.
“Hey, hey- wait! This one’s a bit blurry. Let’s take another one. Smileeeeee!”
Soori’s in your arms and she follows Taehyung’s command, big smile plastered on her face, flashing her perfect set of teeth top and bottom. Her cheeks grow puffy, eyes barely closed with how big she’s smiling. You turn towards the camera, mimicking her actions.
Jungkook does the same, standing behind Soori and leaning his chin on top of her head. She lets out a breathy giggle, taking the two of you by surprise, looking down at her lovingly in perfect sync just as Taehyung takes the picture.
He looks at you and the words that have been echoing inside his mind the whole day take on a new form.
He loves you.
Like crazy.
And picture-perfect captures just that.
~
yeah.
yup!
let me know what you guys thought! i love talking to you guys and i feel like this one’s going to stir some (healthy!) conversations. thank u for all the love and support and for being here, enjoying my lil story. i love u guys sm. i’m sending kisses and infinite love your way <3 xx.
~
★ taglist ★
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lavishedinjimin · 4 years ago
Text
Crybaby - 3 (m)
— synopsis: he calls you crybaby, crybaby. but you don’t fucking care.
alt: Jungkook doesn’t want to leave you.
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↳ pairing: jungkook x reader
↳ genre: smut, fluff
↳ rating: r-18/18+
↳ word count: 12k
↳ warnings: the usual dom!jk x sub! reader, ddlg themes, reader is small in height, degrading terms, he’s aggressive this chapter YIKES, jungkook gets turned on seeing you cry, manhandling, uses of rope and a vibrator, kinky sex, size kink, multiple orgasms, rough intercourse, jk’s a sadist, throat fucking, dirty talk, teasing, very possessive jk, and aftercare!!! there’s also some tooth melting fluff to (hopefully) balance everything out ;)
A/n: Before anything else, I want to repeat saying that everything written here is purely fictional, consensual, and doesn’t mirror the mentioned artists’ personality in real life.
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Jungkook thinks you’re the most adorable person in the entire world.
“How did you even fall in love with me?” you ask innocently, resting your head on his lap as you both let Edward Scissorhands play in the background. You didn’t even want to watch it in the first place but of course, a little bit of his desperate ‘please’ and puppy eyes always wins your meek heart.
He wraps his hand around your jaw, leaning down to kiss your lips tenderly. Giggling from the sudden impromptu kiss, you feel his soft, supple lips fondle with your own so gingerly. His grip on you tightens before he pulls away with a smirk, noticing the blush on your cheeks.
“So suddenly, baby?” Jungkook mutters as he feeds you a spoonful of Reese’s ice cream he holds in one hand. Looking down at your endearing face, he replies, “Don’t you remember our arcade date? That’s when I confessed my love to you.”
“Yeah, but…” you ponder, “Did you plan it all along?”
Jungkook shuts his eyes before giggling, his dimples peeking through his cheeks. Watching black strands of hair fall down right in front of his eyes as you gaze at him in confusion. Jungkook just sits there. “Well, there’s this exact moment when I knew that I just had to make you mine.”
With your eyes slowly expanding, you try to hide the smile that was slowly creeping up your face. He places the spoon inside the tub, letting his hand stroke your delicate cheek. “Wanna know what it was, baby girl?”
The way how fast you nodded your head was a little bit embarrassing. He grins nonetheless, “So…”
*flashback*
“Y/n,” Jungkook’s arm snakes around your waist before he tugs you closer to him. He gazes down at you with a smile before he points to the shelf full of toys and stuffed animals. “Which one do you like?”
Gulping, you stare at him with furrowed eyebrows, “Why?”
He doesn’t hesitate to answer, “Because I’m gonna win as many tickets as I possibly can to get it for you.”
You didn’t know how to respond for your shyness takes over you once again. On the other hand, Jungkook finds this so charming about you.
“The pink penguin…perhaps?” you mumble.
Jungkook immediately walks closer to approach the male employee behind the counter and inquires, “Excuse me, but how many tickets to get that penguin over there?”
You giggle as you watch how serious he looked as if talking about a huge business deal with his arms crossed together.
The man replies with a bright smile, “1500 tickets, that is!”
“That’s a lot—” you exhale.
“Let’s go, Y/n!” he abruptly pulls you by the arm and tugs you along with him, “I’m gonna get that lil’ penguin for you, baby.”
Your heart swells at the petname. It wasn’t his first time saying it, you just can’t get used to it.
Even though this was the fifth date, the post-nervousness was still there. Before he picked you up from work, your hands were sweating bizarrely. It wasn’t like you weren’t comfortable with him, no, you were always at ease when you’re with him. The reason for the nervousness was you haven’t been in a relationship with someone for so long, and Jungkook has his bars set up high. 
Plus, it was overwhelming in a good way; Jungkook was the confident type and he likes to display how much he adores you – either in private or public places, he didn’t care. As long as he can properly show how much he likes you.  
The arcade has a very 80s feel to it, with a color scheme of mostly red, yellow, and blue. It was lively and has a fun atmosphere going around. Children were running around with their parents, eager to search for another machine to take over, teenage boys were competing against each other in a game of Tekken, and a lot of girls were having a blast inside the Karaoke rooms. 
While time goes on in the arcade, you never realized that he was super competitive. “Y/n, I’m gonna beat this record, watch me.” He says in a deep tone as though wanting to sound serious, stretching his arms to prepare for the punching machine.
“Are you sure?” you chuckle as you hold all of you two’s well-earned tickets from the past hours, “The record is 877. Are you even strong enough?”
You could’ve sworn to yourself that it was an innocent, genuine question. But Jungkook, on the other hand, turns behind to look at you with those dark yet sensual eyes. He precipitously cracks his knuckles, succeeding to intimidate you.
“What a weird question, Y/n,” he says sarcastically with a smirk daubed on his face, “I don’t think you know how powerful I am, babe.”
As soon as those words left his lips, he turns back around in a flash, swinging his right arm with all his might until his fist crashes against the punching bag. You let out a loud gasp, mouth forming into a beaming wide grin as the machine slightly thuds from the harsh impact.
Still, he doesn’t look at the score and he looks at you with a cocky grin, boldly spreading his arms out.
“Kook—” you snort.
“What did I tell you, Y/n? I’m the strongest man you know.”
“Sure but,” you cover your mouth to prevent yourself from laughing too loud, “You s-scored 878!”
Jungkook whips around instantly. Surely, surely he didn’t win by only 1 single point! He groans and stomps his foot like a little child. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
You couldn’t control your laughter anymore as you reach out to him, hugging his body from behind. Jungkook throws his head back in despair while he places his hands on top of yours. Your hug felt warm and soft, feeling your cheek pressed up against him. Jungkook turns you around until he was face to face with you.
“You’re so small,” he practically whispers underneath his breath. He places his long, slender index finger below your chin and tilts your head up. Then with his other hand, he uses it to remove the lost strands of hair away from your face. “So fucking cute.”
You can’t help but look away as your body freezes in place. And once again, you feel yourself wanting to crawl into a little ball and hide from everyone from how tough he was staring at you. There was a fuzzy, fiery feeling going on inside your system that you can’t seem to handle.
“Nuh-uh, keep those pretty eyes on me.” He applies just the right amount of force on your chin and angles your head to look up.
Your breathing almost stops at that single sentence.
Jungkook looked like as if numerous of thoughts were running through his brain. His eyes were not only fixated on yours but were darting all over. He memorizes the pattern on your face; the distance between your nose to your mouth, the little creases near your eyes, your moles, and even the little pimples you had on your temples, he thinks you’re so beautiful. Too beautiful to handle.
‘How can a person look so perfect?’ He asks himself.
“Kook?”
Oh, how soft your voice is. His mouth curves into a gentle smile for he can’t help himself but pull you closer.
“Hm?”
“People are staring.”
Jungkook scoffs quietly, “Let them stare, Y/n. This is our world and they’re just living in it.”
You had a tough, long day at work and this date really made your day better. You were laughing and having fun with Jungkook the whole time, experiencing one of the most enjoyable days you’ve ever had. It was as if all of your problems went away whenever you’re with him. You and he played almost every game in the arcade, except for the Dance Dance machine which was sadly under maintenance. You were really looking forward to beating him in Dance Revolution because he insists that he’s a good dancer. He has yet to prove that to you! 
“Yes! I won!” You yelled, turning your hands into a fist after successfully beating Jungkook at the Hockey table. He chuckles when you stuck your tongue out at him like a child.
“I obviously allowed you to win that one, babe,” he playfully rolls his eyes. “I mean, you have to win at least something, right?”
“Hey!” you pout, treading heavily to his side. Jungkook gawks down at you with his brows raised. “I won because I’m good at it, okay?”
“Aww,” he teases, “Alright then little one. Say whatever you want.”
“You’re so,” you gulp, “so m-mean.”
Jungkook looks around the arcade, zooming his eyes all over the place until he spots an ice-cream seller just outside the building.
An idea pops up inside his mind.
“I’ll treat you some ice cream, how’s that?”
He notices how your eyes glimmer as if little shining stars replaced your pupils. You nod frantically.
“Yeah? Alright, wait for me here, okay? And in the meantime, how about you turn in all of our tickets, and let’s see if we can get the penguin stuffie.”
“Okay,” you jitter excitedly, holding the stack of tickets tighter. You watch him walk out of the area, catching the way he pulls out his black leather wallet from the back pocket of his jeans.
Making your way down the hallway to the main entrance where the ticket eaters are, you smile at a couple of strangers who had their eyes on you. When you arrived, you can’t take your eyes off of the shelves full of plushies. Especially the pink penguin that you were after. You had an instinct to squint your eyes at the toy as if having a little staring contest with it while the machine consumes and counts all of the tickets.
After a little while, you hear Jungkook’s voice calling your name.
“Y/n!” he shouts, holding up two cookies and cream ice cream cones, “come, come!”
You sprinted. You didn’t know why you were so excited to get the ice cream, leaving the tickets counting all alone behind you.
“Yaaay! Ice cr—oomph!” 
There was a step slightly higher towards the exit and your feet immediately collides against it. Like a quick wisp of air, your body smashes upon the hard, cold cemented floor. A loud, painful cry escapes your lips as you close your eyes, trying to endure the building pain on your forearms and knees.
‘This is so embarrassing!’ you say in your mind, struggling to regain your composure. 
People around you looked, some tried to hide their obvious laughter by covering their mouths, but none helped.
Jungkook saw everything. Quickly handing the ice cream back to the vendor, saying that ‘he’ll come back for it’, he dashes to where you are and handles your fallen body with utmost care.
“Hey, hey baby,” he whispers, placing his hands on your underarms to lift you up with ease, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
His heart drops to his stomach right when you looked up at him with your big, teary eyes.
“Oh god,” Jungkook’s voice weakens, “No, no, don’t cry baby girl, don’t cry…”
You were so humiliated. You shouldn’t have run so fast like that, you should’ve watched your step! Now everyone will look at you weirdly!
Whimpering when Jungkook makes you walk, you shake your head to show that it hurts as you try to hold back your tears. “Ohh, Y/n,” he sighs before he lifts you up, and carries you to a nearby brown bench just outside the arcade. He crouches before you, “Does your knees hurt, hmm?” his hands caress your exposed legs up and down, trying his best to soothe you.
Biting your lip, you nod slowly.
“Aw, goodness,” he leans closer to you and kisses your forehead, “What did you do, huh? You should’ve been more careful and watched your step.” He clicks his tongue, making a ‘tsk’ sound, “Good thing there’s no scratches.”
The stern, strict tone of his voice caused you to look away and hang your head low. “S-Sorry…” you sniffed.
A single tear flows out of your right eye and it slowly treads down your cheek. Jungkook was quick to notice, wiping your tear away with his thumb. “Hey, it’s okay baby.” He reaches your hand and gives it a little kiss, “Don’t cry now, hmm? Look at me,” he tilts your head up with a single finger underneath your chin, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re okay, you’re with me.”
You only stared at him with glossy eyes, not giving a reply. However, Jungkook’s mind comes up with a plan. “Wait here Y/n, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“No!” you whine, shaking your head. Your hands grab onto his muscular biceps as you try to pull him closer.
He chuckles quietly and holds your face in his big, warm hands, his eyes staring deep into yours. “I won’t be going far, baby girl, I’m not leaving you alone, yeah? Stay here for me, I’ll be back in a quick second.” With a final kiss on top of your head, he shuffles back inside the arcade, leaving you alone on the bench while the soft, supple air kisses your skin. The wind whooshes your hair to one side, causing a few strands to get caught in your mouth. You hiked your knees up to your stomach, hugging yourself in search of comfort.
You never want to go inside that arcade ever again.
A few moments have passed and you see Jungkook walking back to you with a huge grin on his face, hands behind his back as if hiding something.
Your mood instantly picks up again when he surprises you with the soft, pink penguin stuffie, handing it over to you with a big smile. You eagerly reached your arms out to grab for the toy, but he doesn’t give it to you just yet. 
“Uh-uh, promise me you won’t be sad anymore?”
“I promise!” you giggle, eyes laid still on the penguin. “Gimme!”
“Right,” he sighs amusingly, “Here you go, babe.” Jungkook laughs from how fast you snatched the stuffie away from him. He looks at you with love as you cuddled the toy in your arms, pressing your cheeks against it.
In the meantime, he leaves you to get the ice creams that the vendor was still keeping an eye on the entire time. Jungkook pays him and apologizes for the wait, before coming back to you with two cones in each hand.
“Ice cream,” he gives you your cone, “for my crybaby.”
Jungkook, somehow – as crazy as it may sound – feels his chest warming up from the sight of you. How come he likes seeing you this way? Something about taking care of you drives his heart pounding. Was it because you look so cute, yet so vulnerable? Or was it his caretaking, nurturing personality that was beginning to emerge? Whatever it was, Jungkook was fond of it.
Jungkook walks you back home, his hand intertwined with yours, while you carry your penguin toy that you named Perry. 
“Perry?” Jungkook chuckles amusingly, “Like Perry the Platypus?” 
“Nope!” you shake your head with a serious glint in your face, “Perry the Pink Penguin!” 
“Well that’s just horrific.” 
The air around the two of you was great – it wasn’t hot nor cold either. You two had little sweet talks and short conversations here and there as your shoes brush along the paved sidewalks.
When you both end up in your doorstep, you bid Jungkook goodbye. “Thank you for today, Kook,” you speak shyly, “And um, for this—” you refer to the penguin stuffie. He chuckles but not a word has been spoken. So you continue, “I-I also want to say sorry… for uh… because you had to see me cry…”
“No, no, it’s alright with me,” Jungkook quickly reassures you, enveloping your small figure into a hug, leaning down so that his chin rests on top of your head. “It doesn’t bother me. In fact, uh, Y/n?”
You raise your brows, pulling out of the hug to stare at him, “Yeah?”
Jungkook gulps the ball that has been formed in his throat, looking away from your beautiful face for a moment before recollecting his thoughts, “I’ve…I’ve thought about this for a while now. Like a really long time.”
You listen with your mouth slightly agape, watching him get a little flustered.
“I really really fucking like you, Y/n. I know you know that already.”
Your heart beats a little faster.
“And I want to spend more time with you. There’s not a day where I don’t think about you. Almost every second of my mind is filled with you and your pretty smile. I w-want to treat you and take care of you everyday without having to think twice. So, uh, if you want can you…can you be my girl—”
“Yes!”
Jungkook was taken aback from your quick reply. His eyes slightly expand as the corner of his lips curve up, “Yes?”
“Yes! I-I’ll be your girlfriend.”
Jungkook’s heart was filled with joy and ecstasy for he was so glad that you felt the same way. He lifts your body up and spins you around, causing you to squeal and hold onto his shoulders.
“You’re mine now, Y/n. Fucking finally.”
*end of flashback*
“What do you mean?! So the entire time we were playing games at that arcade… the moment you fell in love with me was when I cried because I tripped?!” You bellowed, sitting up straight on the couch as Jungkook laughs his ass off from your reaction.
“Well, obviously it’s not only that! That moment just sticks to my mind a lot. You’re too adorable when you cry.” Jungkook smirks on the last sentence, having two meanings behind it. 
You huff, standing up to head to the bedroom. “Hey, where are you going baby?” With him still giggling, he tries to catch your arm.
“Bedroom! I’m scared of Edward Scissorhands. You’re weird, Jungkook.”
“I’ll be with you after I finish my ice cream!”
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Being a graphic designer can be challenging yet enjoyable at the same time. You get to do what you love which was drawing and editing digital photos, yet the only downfall was that you had to work in an office building. Being an introvert, having a lot of people around your workplace was a lot to get used to.
But thankfully, you have Jimin.
Not only is he one of your best friends, but he was also a senior designer who is assigned to you – his inferior.
Sometimes you two can’t even get a single thing done because all you both did was fool around your office, instead of him guiding you and teaching you the ropes.
“Hey, Y/n!” Jimin gleams as he walks inside the office room, hands in his pockets. He was wearing black fitted pants and a white long-sleeved shirt tucked inside. “Have you ate yet?”
You stretch your arms out, twisting your body side to side to crack your bones. “Uh, yeah! I ate two cups of ramen before you got here.”
He smiles at you, “That’s good. Anyway, are we still working on the designs for our Christmas calendar?” Jimin sits across from you, eyeing all of the scattered papers filled with colorful drawings.
“Mhm! This is my fourth edit. Director didn’t like my designs,” you pout.
“That’s why you need my help, Y/n.” He speaks slowly with his eyes squinting, enunciating his words, “Me and no one else.”
“Sure.” You roll your eyes.
“That’s no way to talk to your superior!”
Meanwhile, Jungkook tilts his head to the side in dismay when he gets stuck in the long traffic. He was on the way to your office building to pick you up from work, but of course, it just had to be a busy Monday today. No cars were moving even a single inch, the whole highway motionless that causes Jungkook to zone out a little bit.
Zoning out isn’t a good move for Jungkook for he tends to think about the most ridiculous, absurd things ever.
But suddenly, as if his thoughts were infatuated by a demon, the image of your sobbing, fucked-out face flashes in his mind. He unconsciously bites on his lower lip, remembering how much your little body shuddered, and how you keep withering around the bed from even the slightest of touch.
“Shit,” Jungkook breathes out, feeling uncomfortable in his seat. He shuffles around until he finds a good position, sensing a tightness in his pants. He recalls how he got so turned on just from your sensitivity, the way you were whimpering and trying your best to hold back your tears.
Knowing that he’s the only person that can make you cry from having sex really strokes his ego. Before he had you, he didn’t know that he had a kink for making his significant other cry during intercourse. 
It may be just the sadistic side of him getting fueled up whenever he sees your tears, he can’t explain how much it drives him wild.
Jungkook smirks while he rests his elbow on the car door as his fingers play with his lip. He’s cocky about the fact that he can make you sob and quiver like that. Make you turn so fucking submissive and obedient for him, letting him take over and control your frail, poor body.
He remembers the first time he discovers your filthy kinks and fantasies, how baffled he was to know that an innocent, shy girl like you can be so wild. It was always the ones you don’t expect to have a freaky side.
Jungkook grunts as his hand grip the steering wheel a little tighter, knuckles turning white. He chuckles to himself as the raging boner hardens beneath his black ripped jeans, almost being a little too painful to bear. He hears your cries of pleasure ringing in his ears, the way you whimpered so cutely every time, your sobs growing louder and louder, he loves those noises. Thankfully, the traffic eases up and cars finally move.
“Oh, Y/n,” Jungkook mutters whilst shaking his head, “What an angel you are.”
If it weren’t for the traffic lights that always reminded him to slow down, Jungkook would’ve driven in light-speed just to see you again. His dirty thoughts that won’t go away was making him impatient and hornier. 
When he successfully arrives at the building, he speed-walks to the elevator, heading to the second floor. Jungkook taps his foot impatiently, crossing his arms together. “Fucking hell,” he grunts as his mind keeps repeating images of your cute body trying to take his dick, how your legs shake, or the way your eyes couldn’t keep themselves open from the pleasure he was giving you. He sighs with a little grin on his face, “Why am I like this?”
The door opens and he makes his way to your area, knowing which hallways and turns he has to make thanks from his previous visits. He makes long, quick strides until he finally reaches your office.
But the excited smile that was once planted in his face fades away when he spots you from outside the window, with Jimin behind you. Jungkook feels his body tense when Jimin leans his body from behind, his arms trapping your upper body with his cheek pressed against your face.
“What the fuck?”
Jungkook’s blood boils and he feels himself getting enraged. Why were you letting him touch you like that? He knows that Jimin’s only a friend, but he was not supposed to act all touchy like that with a girl who’s already taken. It made Jungkook furious to see some other man holding his girl like that – for he was supposed to be the only one. The only arms that are supposed to wrap around your body are his.
He tries to calm down. Jungkook really does attempt to calm down but his nerves don’t stop heating up. With a shaky exhale, he grabs his phone from his back pocket and calls your number to test if you’ll pick up.
“Oh, wait, is that your phone?” Jimin asks, “Someone’s calling you.”
You giggle while you make your way to the desk while dragging Jimin behind you. Your phone displayed Jungkook’s name – although it made your heart skip a beat – you declined the call.
“Huh,” Jungkook scoffs, smirking wrathfully. He doesn’t even try to wonder why you didn’t pick up. He feels irritated and all the flirty, playful mood he once had was gone in a single moment.
You jump in surprise when the door swings open, revealing a very angry Jungkook making his way to your desk. Jimin instantly distances himself away from you.
“B-Babe!” you laugh nervously, palms getting sweaty. You quickly glance at Jimin, sending him a worried look before turning your attention back to Jungkook. Your boyfriend stands tall across the desk with his arms crossed, glaring at you with a lifted eyebrow. “You’re here e-early!”
He doesn’t reply.
Unwillingly, you clasp your hands behind your back and your head hangs low from Jungkook’s intimidating, hard glare, falling right into submission. You gulp from the immense tension that builds up in the room.
“Uh…I’ll be heading off—” Jimin says, making his way to the exit but Jungkook doesn’t speak a single word to him, nor to you. 
You take this chance to gather all of your belongings, packing your laptop, tablet, and shoving all of your papers inside your tote bag in a rush. 
“So we’re allowed to let other people touch us, hmm, Y/n?” He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. His head was tilted up although his gaze looks down on you. 
“I-It doesn’t mean anything!” you feel your knees getting wobbly, wanting to just disappear from the harsh look he was giving you. 
He rolls his eyes, “Of fucking course it doesn’t. But tell me, Y/n, if it were the other way around. If you saw some other girl’s face pressed against fucking mine while she had her arms around me, would you like it?” With your feet shuffling against the floor in fear, you look away from him. “Huh? Would you like seeing some other girl in your place?” 
“No.” 
“No. That’s correct. So I have the right to be fucking angry.” 
Jungkook rushes forward, “Why didn’t you answer your phone, hmm?” he slams his hand on the desk, causing you to gasp. “Y/n?”
While your eyes look down on the ground, you can hear the heel of his boots clicking against the floor, walking closer to you. The air that surrounds the two of you immediately thickens, and you weren’t a fan of the tense atmosphere at all.
“I was w-working—”
“Bullshit.” He grips your jaw tightly in one hand, forcing you to angle your head up and look at him. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”
Your heart clenches and drops down to the floor from the stringent attitude of his voice. You mewl when he tightens his grip and feverishly rattles your head side to side. “Use your fucking words.”
“I…w-was…” you stammer, “talking with Jimin.” Instant regret fills your mind and body for even being so close with Jimin when you should’ve answered his call. “I’m sorry—!”
“Save your sorry’s for later. I won’t be accepting your apologies soon enough, brat.”
He releases his grip on you and walks away without sparing you another glance. “We’ve been together for so long, Y/n. Haven’t you learned that I don’t like it when other men oggle you up?” Jungkook turns back around, lifting the hems of his long-sleeves so that it exposes his forearms. “If I wasn’t here, you would’ve allowed him to keep touching you like that, right? Yes or no?” 
You immediately shake your head, “N-No!” 
“No? Really...” he laughs darkly, “Please, Y/n, I wasn’t born yesterday. Since he’s ‘just a friend’ I still think you would’ve let him touch you. I know you, I see right past your fucking lies.” 
He wasn’t wrong, and you feel so guilty. So guilty that all you wanted to do was to hug him and apologize, but you know that it isn’t easy. 
“Head down to the car. Don’t make me wait for you because if not, I’m gonna fucking leave you here.” He brushes his long hair back and with that, he was gone.
A chill came running down your spine and you immediately follow right behind his footsteps.
The car ride back home was quiet and you didn’t like the silence at all. You were trying to force yourself to talk, say sorry so that everything will hopefully go back to normal. But there was as if a thick wall separating the two of you.
“Babe?” you whisper meekly, your hand nervously playing with the hem of your thigh-high stockings. Jungkook clenches his jaw yet he doesn’t respond.
A pout creeps up your lips instinctively, “I’m really really sorry…”
No response.
You feel a heavy burden in your heart, upsetting you even more because he was giving you the silent treatment. Jungkook has never ignored you like this before, not even in your most heated argument. Looking at his face in hopes that he’ll at least give you a single glance, you depict how his eyebrows were furrowed and eyes straight ahead on the road. “Kook, please talk to me—”
Your words got cut off when the engine suddenly roars loudly and the car accelerates, your body going in a state of shock as Jungkook shifts the gear. He steps on the pedal and the car goes from a steady 60 to 80 miles per hour.
“Jungkook! S-Slow down!” your left hand reaches out to grab a hold of his own hand, but he was quick to shove it away, leaving you sad and whining in your seat.
Jungkook clicks his tongue, “The faster we get back home, the quicker I can punish you.” He says without looking at you.
Your core jumps and twists at his demeaning words, feeling confused yet excited at the same time. Unintentionally, you clench your thighs together as his hot, sultry voice resonates throughout the car.
“You can smile all you want right now baby,” he mutters, “Gonna wipe that cheeky little grin on your face later when I force your orgasms out of you.”
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“Put your hands against the wall,” Jungkook immediately commands after he drags you to his bedroom. He stands tall behind you, watching your poor figure slowly obeying his words. His lips curve up when he studies your body, already trembling in fear. This feeds unto his primal, dominant desires to take over you and ruin you. Your little hands touch the cold walls with your back slightly arched, already knowing what’s about to come.
Jungkook’s dick throbs in just the sight of the combination of your skirt and thigh-highs. He doesn’t hesitate to firmly grasp your ass cheek below the flimsy material with his big hand, causing a whimper to fall off your lips. “Look at this fucking outfit you have,” he muses, “If it weren’t for that sweater you have on, I would’ve said that you look so much like a fucking slut.”
“Jungkook—”
He suddenly blows a hard slap, “That’s not my name. Huh, you really wanna disobey daddy?”
You whimper, “N-No.”
He hikes your skirt up to expose more of your plump ass, landing another harsh spank that caused your body to jolt, eyes fluttering shut from the sting. “No? Isn’t it disrespectful to ignore daddy’s phone-calls?” he hits your ass again, harder, his muscles flexing. “Tell me, what was Jimin doing that he just need to fucking put his hands all over you with his head so fucking close to yours, huh?”
Your eyes instantly start to become glossy from the solid, rough slaps on your tender ass cheeks. Chewing on your bottom lip, you try your best to cover your little sniffs.
Within a quick second, Jungkook flips you around until your back was pressed firmly against the wall, his hand wrapped around your throat. You hitch your breath up from the aggressive behavior, how his eyes were quick to scan your body up and down like a predator. “You’re not gonna answer me?” he scoffs, “Fucking god – you love to make daddy mad, don’t you? Acting like such a bitch.”
Furiously shaking your head side to side, you disagree with his statement. Jungkook is scary when he’s angry – even though it can be seen as hot sometimes – you never want to make him mad on purpose!
“T-That’s not true, daddy!” your bottom lip faintly quivers as your eyes can’t seem to focus on him.
Jungkook’s eyebrows raise up, giving you a mocking expression, “Ohh really, baby?” the grip on your throat tightens, making you gasp for air, “You don’t like making me angry? When in fact that I know you like being punished like this. You like daddy manhandling your frail, little body, and letting him ruin it in every possible way. Are you gonna lie and tell me that that isn’t true, hm? ”
You didn’t know what to answer. Your chest heaves up and down in panic while you release a quiet, little mewl in desperation. Jungkook – somehow – finds that adorable; how your big, teary eyes look up at him in utter fear of what’s about to come.
He smirks as he leans down to your height, your faces so close to each other as his lips barely graze against yours. You can feel his hot breath upon you, the warmness of his body resonating. 
With a low, almost gravelly voice, he asks you; “Do you not talk?”
Those words seem awfully familiar…
Gulping nervously, you tremble, “I-I can…”
“You can? Sorry darling, I just needed to make sure because you seem to be silent every time I ask a goddamn question. Now, get on the fucking bed.”
Jungkook watches you scramble and obey his command, the cold mattress rubs against your skin from the air conditioning. He stands at the edge of the bed, watching you with primal eyes. “Undress.”
“W-What?”
“I said what I said. Strip,” he crosses his arms, revealing his toned biceps, “Leave your skirt and stockings on. Remove everything except those.”
You can’t seem to look at his eyes because you were afraid that you were going to melt when you do so. You tug your sweater up, your skin exposing to the air that surrounds the two of you, followed by your bra. Your boyfriend sees your cute hardened nipples, making him smirk a little bit.
“Now your panties, go on.”
Before you can even yank your undergarment down, Jungkook speaks, “Look at me while you do so. You’ve been avoiding my eyes all this time.”
Jungkook barely hears the quiet whimper that emits your mouth while your eyes finally lock onto his. Wanting to tease you furthermore, he sends you a cocky smirk with a quick raise of his brow as you pulled your panties down.
His breath almost hitches up from the sight of you, all naked except those kinky pairs of stockings and skirt. He wonders if you specifically wore them just to tease him, heck, was it even appropriate for your work? Even so, he’s glad that he’s the only person to see you like this, so beautiful and ready to be ruined.
You wonder if he’s going to crawl on the bed with you and touch you, waiting for him to make a move but nothing happens. You look up at him expectantly with wide eyes as your hands timidly fumble with your skirt.
“Touch yourself.”
Your heart sinks to your stomach. Did you hear him correctly? Like... does he really want you to play with yourself right in front of him? You can feel your tummy do backflips from his words while you instantly turn shy once again.
“Fucking hell, is one instruction not enough for that brain of yours to comprehend? I said—,” he leans down to grab your thighs, forcing your legs apart with vigor, exposing your cunt all to his eyes. “—touch yourself.”
You whine when he suddenly crawls on top of you, arms on either side of your figure to support himself up, his face hovering above yours. He leans down and whispers in your ear, “Bring your hand down, little girl, and play with your pussy the way daddy does.”
Without angering him further, you obey and brought your hand down to touch your clit. Jungkook never removes his eye-contact as he watches your face slowly contort in pleasure. With two fingers, you gently circled your clit, making your mouth part open from the meek pleasure. “O-Ohh,” you can feel your wet lips when you dragged your fingers along them.
You feel so embarrassed masturbating in front of him like this. Jungkook chuckles and kneels in front of you, placing his knees in between your spread legs to watch how you play with your cunt. You moan when he finally grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, revealing his toned body for your eyes to see. This encouraged you to rub your clit faster, but it just wasn’t enough.
“Daddy…” you whine, “please...”
Jungkook notices the frown that was beginning to form your lips, but instead of feeling bad, he takes the opportunity to degrade you. “What is it, baby? Hm? Do you even know how to touch your pussy?” he teases, “Do you still fuckin’ need daddy’s help?”
You don’t even care if you look pitiful, shaking your head up and down. “Y-Yes, please touch m-me…” you say with a quiet voice. As you continue to masturbate, Jungkook sees how your body trembles, knowing that it wants more.
But sadly, you look too good in this position that you’re in. Your skirt hiked up to your abdomen while your toes curl in desperation. Jungkook lightly scoffs as he doesn’t hesitate to palm his rock-hard cock through his jeans. “Mmm, I would if you had been a good girl. But daddy wants you to cum with your own fingers, prove to me that you’re a big girl who can fucking cum without my help.”
You release an exasperated groan, arching your back in utter need. Jungkook was cruel to do this to you, as he definitely knows how much you prefer his own fingers on your juicy little pussy.
The sight was boosting his ego, whether he likes it or not. He observes how your cute, middle finger tries to insert itself inside your tight little hole, earning a loud moan from you. Jungkook sees your arousal dripping down from your entrance, the glistering liquid running down to your ass. You were so wet, and he was dying to taste you. Jungkook feels his dominance taking over as his patience was wearing thin, wanting to shove your hands away and just take over. It frustrates him how desperate you make him feel without even trying.
You finger yourself with one hand, as the other continues to rub your clit. You try to remember how Jungkook does it, your mind trying to reminisce his techniques, making you distracted from your own pleasure. It doesn’t even feel half as good as his! You let out a loud, frustrated whine, feeling your eyes well up with tears once again.
“I-I can’t,” you sniff, a tear rolling down your cheek as you try your best to make yourself feel good, “Please, daddy I need y-you!”
Jungkook leans forward as he wipes your tears with his thumb, licking his lips slowly while he watches you with a sensual look. “What do you need from daddy, hm?”
You groan, hating how much he can torture you like this. Your breathing was already unstable and your mind was thinking of ways on how you can make him touch you. “I need your fingers, daddy – please? I can’t cum like this,” you shake your head desperately, “I can’t.”
“Holy fucking shit, I think I need to get a new baby girl. One who knows how to pleasure herself without my help.”
“No!” you yell, closing your eyes as more tears wells up, “N-No! I-I’m sorry I just can’t…”
Jungkook almost feels bad. Almost.
“That’s sad, baby girl. If you can’t cum then don’t try anymore.” He abruptly spanks your inner thigh, leaving you crying for more, “You’ve been a bad girl today and you’ve got to endure your punishment.”
Jungkook tugs your hands away and your pussy clenches from the sour loss. “Keep crying, slut, this is what you deserve.” He stands up from the bed and makes his way to the closet to get something. You obediently lay there with a frown as you wiped your eyes, ogling his broad, muscular back in the meantime.
When he was taking up more time than you wanted, you kicked your legs impatiently while whining.
He smirks, rolling his eyes, “Impatient, I see?” After that, he swiftly turns around to reveal a red-colored rope, dangling it side to side for a little tease.
“What are you g-gonna do with that?” you ask with wide, glossy eyes.
Jungkook walks back to you with that signature sultry yet teasing look, making you anticipate what’s about to come even more.
“Daddy’s gonna tie your hands behind your back until your wrists bruise, little one.”
Your core throbs from the image he paints in your mind, how the rope would probably scratch against your skin, and how turned on he would be from the sight of you struggling. Jungkook motions you to turn around with a little spin of his finger. You kneel, looking away from him while he grabs your wrists together in one hand. The arrogant smirk doesn’t wipe off of his face as he ties the rope around your hands, whimpering when he pulls it tight. 
“Is that too tight baby girl?” he asks, stopping himself from laughing, “Does it hurt?”
You sniff, “A l-little bit.”
“Good. I was actually planning to bind your legs together as well, but I don’t think you can handle that anymore.” He says behind you, “I don’t think your precious body can handle being daddy’s little ropebunny.”
With his words, you turn your head to look at him with a confused expression, “Rope…ropebunny?”
Jungkook chuckles and nods his head once.
“What does that mean, daddy?”
Jungkook’s heart swell, “Means that you’re letting me tie you up, restraint your body with rope – and letting daddy do whatever he fucking wants to you. Bruise your skin until it hurts too much. If maybe you weren’t such a crybaby and a sensitive little bitch then I would’ve done that to you by now.”
He doesn’t let you reply as he gives your ass a loud, stinging spank using the palm of his right hand. You whimper in pain, closing your eyes for a mere second as your mouth parts.
“Head down, ass up. Now.”
You do as you’re told, and not going to lie, your heart was doing backflips from the nervousness and intimidation of the position that you’re in. Your ass and cunt were so exposed, allowing him to see how wet you are. Your cheeks pressed against the sheets, tilted to the side so that you can at least see a portion of his figure behind you. Although you release a loud cry when he suddenly lands a slap directly on your throbbing clit. Your hands instinctively moved to grab onto something, but the rope was preventing them from doing so.
“Daddy—!” He slaps your pussy again, this time harder. He slides his index finger down your wet slick, teasingly prodding against your entrance that causes your arousal to gush.
“God, you’re so fucking noisy. I’d put a gag in that loud mouth of yours to shut you up, but daddy loves your cute whimpers too much.”
You dig your nails onto your palm when Jungkook finally plays with your pussy, using two fingers to gently – barely rub your clit. The tip of his index and middle finger brushes against your throbbing clit, using the slightest bit of pressure. He bites his lip from the way you wiggle your ass, desperate for more. “You can’t even masturbate without my assistance, fucking hell,” he muses, “did it embarrass you, huh?”
“Mhmm,” you hum meekly, grinding your teeth together because you needed more friction, and you were too afraid to tell him.
“Yeah?” Jungkook smirks, “You had to cry like a pathetic little bitch, too.” Without a warning, he easily shoves his middle finger in, making you arch your back painfully, drawing a loud squeal. He starts pumping it in and out at a fast pace. The wet squelching noise that your cunt makes, paired with your moans was music to his ears. “I guess it feels better when daddy plays with your pussy, right slut?”
When you don’t answer immediately, too focused on the pleasure, he inserts two more fingers in – stretching your pussy. You gasp loudly, his long, slender fingers reaching the most intimate places inside of you. Jungkook bites his lip harshly, getting so turned on from your sweet moans and whines. 
“Y-Yeah… yes daddy – oww fuck – it feels much better,” even though your mind was filled in lust and can’t think of anything else but the way he was furiously pumping three fingers in and out of you, you answer him in fear that his punishment will turn way worse. His three fingers were almost too much for your hole to handle, making your hips tremble as it tries to accommodate the girth. 
“Who owns your pussy, hm?” he uses his other unoccupied hand to rub and pinch your clit, providing you with overstimulation of pleasure. His fingers reach deeper until it hits your g-spot, making your toes curl while you once again tear up. He growls, “Who fucking owns you?”
“You!” you moan, vision getting blurry, “You own me d-daddy…” you can already feel yourself coming close to an orgasm – one thing you can’t do with your own fingers. Your stomach tightens and tightens, waiting for your oh-so needed release. You sob onto the sheets, eyes closed in desperation.
“Good thing you know—” but he suddenly pulls his hands away, leaving you shaking and breathless. “This is my cunt and I get to do whatever I want with it.”
“No!” you groan in frustration from the denied orgasm, eyebrows furrowing as your legs shake, “Fuck y-you.”
Jungkook’s ears pick up the words you muttered.
“What was that?” He roughly wraps his hand around your neck and forces your upper body to lift up. You start to panic as Jungkook chokes you, “What the fuck did you say, hm? Getting fucking bold today, aren’t we?”
“S-Sorry,” you stutter, not having the courage to speak. You didn’t mean to say that at all! You were just frustrated and the words slipped out without realizing it! He sees a droplet of tear dripping down your cheek and he rolls his eyes.
“What a bratty, disobedient little fucktoy.” Jungkook quickly stands up to unbutton his jeans and pulls it down, leaving himself in his underwear. “You’re not the good girl that I know.” He hops back on the bed with you and moves so that he kneels in front of you. He holds your face up with one hand on your jaw as the other pulls his boxers down. Your mouth waters from the sight of his cock springing out, the angry red tip hitting your cheek.
“If I stuff my cock down your throat then maybe you’d shut the fuck up, learn your lesson, and think before you speak. Huh, slut?” He strokes his length a few times, letting his precum lube his cock.
He nudges the tip against your lips, signaling you to open your mouth. He releases a long, guttural moan when you wrap your lips around him as he pushes his length further and further, your mouth feeling so warm and wet. Jungkook initiates the pace as he starts to rock his hips steadily. A sudden gush of tears escapes your eyes when he shoves past your gag reflex, whining as your throat struggles to take in his big cock. 
“Choke.”
Jungkook doesn’t wipe the tears off of your face like he used to, this time letting them flow and drip down your jaw. Your pussy clenches every time he thrusts forwards, feeling yourself get wetter and more aroused from the noises he makes. He twitches whenever your throat contracts, feeling it tighten and squeezes his cock so good.
“Do you like this, baby girl?” he smiles sadistically, “You like being throat fucked?” Jungkook knows you can’t answer so he continues to torment you, “I like you better when your mouth is stuffed with daddy’s cock. Much more useful than being an undisciplined, rude slut.”
You shut your eyes while you slack your jaw, trying to take all of him the best that you can. He grabs a bunch of your hair, pulling at your scalp, the pain making you kick your legs repeatedly. While he snaps his hips, thrusting in and out, Jungkook watches how your saliva drips down from to your chin that makes a whole mess of your face.
Jungkook finally gains some sort of empathy, pulling his dick out to let you breathe. You emit a harsh, rugged exhale. He lowers himself until his face was directly parallel to yours, “Why was he touching you like that?” His eyes scans your poor, messy self, eyes puffy with your hair all over the place. 
You sniff, “He’s just a f-friend!”
He wipes the saliva on the corner of your mouth using his thumb, “Don’t you have a boyfriend? Hm? Doesn’t he know that you’re mine? Even if he’s your goddamn friend, he doesn’t need to touch you like that.” His voice somehow turned soft, a bit more like his natural talking voice. He shakes his head whilst staring directly at your weary eyes, “And what if I wasn’t there, huh? What if he did something to you that I wouldn’t like?”
“Are…” you tilt your head, trying to lighten up the situation in hopes that he’ll go easy on you. You start to giggle, “Are you jealous, daddy?”
You didn’t know that it was a bad move until his face immediately hardens, raising an eyebrow up. He scoffs, “You think I would be punishing you like this if your actions took a toll on me, Y/n?” he stands up from the bed and walks over to the bedside table, opening the drawer, “Lay on your tummy. I won’t say it again.”
Jungkook grabs the remote control vibrator from the box of toys the two of you had been collecting. You certainly love your toys, he knows that, but it’s a completely different situation if he uses them to torture you. It’s better for him that you can’t see what he’s doing, bringing your anticipations up for what’s about to come. He turns the toy on, your breath immediately hitching when you hear the buzzing sound. The hot pink, egg-like looking toy with a slender tail vibrates against his palm.
“Daddy? Wha…what are you gonna do with tha—” Your words painfully got cut off when he plunges the toy inside your pussy, the vibrations instantly resonating throughout your core and lower abdomen. You sobbed loudly, the rope tightening around your wrists whenever you tried to struggle away. “Oh my god!” your back arches, feeling your eyes rolling to the back of your head, “Daddy!”
He walks to the other side of the room to go sit on the plush loveseat, twiddling with the remote on his right hand. He doesn’t hesitate to crank the setting up, noticing how your ass trembles and wiggles. Your mouth drops open while you feel an immense tingling sensation down there, moaning and shuddering on the bed. 
Jungkook wraps his hand around his cock and starts to pump slowly, observing how your cute little figure trembles and makes a mess of the sheets. He notices the way your pussy clenches around the toy so tightly, and how your cunt never stopped dripping in arousal. 
He teases his swollen tip with his thumb as he turns the toy’s setting up another notch. The smirk grows on his face from the noises you make. He was addicted to the sight of you right now; your hips shuddering as you try to escape all of the vast ecstasy, the stockings you wear making you look as adorable as ever – if he had a camera he would definitely take a picture of you.
“Daddy, p-please – I’m gonna cum!” you sob, chewing on your swollen bottom lip. That was his cue to put the setting to the highest level. Within a flash, your spill your cum down your pussy and onto the bed, ruining the sheets as your body contorts, hands balling into tight fists. Your orgasm feels like you gushed a whole waterfall, cumming so hard while your hips involuntarily lifts up off of the bed. 
He continues to fuck his hand, staring at your sweaty, hot body with hooded eyes while he groans darkly. His cock was rock solid and was also begging for a release, but he knows to control himself. Jungkook hears your sobs get louder and louder, knowing that the overstimulation was too much for you to handle.
He stands up and crawls back with you on the bed, his warm hands starting to caress your inner thighs.
“Da—” you cry, “daddy… t-too much…”
“Yeah?” he smirks before lifting your ass up until he was directly in front of your cunt. he smells your arousal and it caused shivers to run down his back. Without holding back, he wraps his mouth around your throbbing clit and starts to suck harshly on it. 
Jungkook was absolutely nasty to do this to you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel his tongue swirl around your bud, flicking and sucking at the same time. You can’t even comprehend the pain and pleasure that as going through your body right now, for it was all too much. “A-Aawwh shit,” you breathe, “D-Daddy, I can’t... oh m-my god!” 
The combination of the powerful buzzing vibrator inside you, plus his mouth on your clit caused another strong climax to wash throughout your system. You flail your arms behind your back as your body can’t seem to keep still. Jungkook holds your hips in place as he licks your pussy clean of your cum. He grunts from the way your legs were quivering after forcing another orgasm out of you. 
“Taste so fuckin’ delicious,” he says after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “What a good little pussy.” 
Finally, he pulls on the tail and the toy plops out with a wet sound. Though your chest doesn’t stop heaving up and down, your system is still riled up from the strong orgasms you just had.
“What will you say, baby girl, hm?”
You perk your head up from the sudden question. Your mind quickly wanders for an answer but was quickly distracted when you feel him squeeze your tender ass cheeks. 
Leaning down to your ear, he whispers with an awful smirk, “Say ‘thank you daddy’.” His monotone voice sent shivers all throughout your body, “Say thank you for letting you cum. I would’ve stopped the toy and edged you when you were about to orgasm to further your punishment, but glad I didn’t, right baby?”
“Thank…” your cheeks start to heat up, “Thank you for l-letting me cum, daddy.”
“Mm, good girl. I just had to get a taste of your sweet cunt after seeing you shake and tremble like that. Such a good, pretty little girl.” 
He was actually supposed to reward you after this. That was just his initial plan, until he is distracted by your phone suddenly ringing from the other side of the room. He quirks a brow up and starts heading to where your bag was placed, rummaging through it to get the device that interrupted the moment.
He reads the caller ID.  
Jungkook is dead quiet as he reaches back to you until he takes a seat on your thighs. His silence further builds up your anxiousness, your gut twisting and turning after you hear him groan underneath his breath. “Daddy?” whispering, you tilt your head to the side to figure out what he was doing.
“Y/n! I’m so glad you picked up the phone,” Jimin speaks in a rush, “I was so worried about what happened. Are you and Jungkook okay?” He rolls his eyes and doesn’t hesitate to put the phone on loudspeaker, placing the device in front of you so that you can see who was calling.
Jimin’s voice unsettled you, leaving your body in a state of shock, humiliation, and awkwardness. You furiously shake your head, lips pursed in a straight, pungent line – making it known to Jungkook that you didn’t want to talk to him. Why can’t he just hang up?!
“Hello? Y/n?” As Jimin worries from the other side of the line, you quietly mewl when you feel him poking the tip of his dick right up against your dripping wet entrance, sliding the head up and down your soaked slit slowly to torture you. “Answer him,” Jungkook growls from behind, “Talk to him as I fuck your tight little pussy.”
“Y/n, do you hear me?” Jimin asks once again, and this time you pick up the courage to reply.
“Y-Yeah,” your voice strains, closing your eyes as you try your best not to moan out loud as Jungkook pushes the head in, feeling your walls flutter around his thick girth. “I hear – oohh – I hear you.”
While inching his cock further and further, he grasps your bounded wrists in one hand, as the other firmly holds onto your waist. He struggles to keep quiet, only releasing quick little grunts here and there as he slowly thrusts his hips. Your body squirms from the humiliating situation he has put you through, yet he holds you down.
“Hey, I’m really sorry about what happened earlier,” You notice the sad tone in Jimin’s voice, “I really didn’t mean to touch you like that, and I should’ve known better. You’re taken.”
“M-Mhmm—!” Jungkook shoves his length deeper and deeper, hit tip hitting your g-spot again and again, rougher and harder with each sharp thrust. Your eyes generate more tears, definitely making your nose a little bit stuffy while you struggle to breathe properly. Jungkook groans underneath his breath from how tight your pussy is after being teased and tortured.
Jimin continues with his apology, saying that he wants to personally apologize to Jungkook – but you weren’t listening anymore. You can’t! His words were going in one ear and out of the other because your mind only focuses on how his big, thick cock was tearing your cunt apart. With each outward stroke, your pussy keeps sucking him back in. He smirks from the way your pussy was gushing your arousal endlessly, soaking the sheets and making a mess of yourself.
As if everything can’t be humiliating enough, Jungkook blows a hard, loud spank on your ass, definitely not caring if it can be heard from the other end of the call. Gasping, you mewl from the stinging sensation but also worried if Jimin heard. Jungkook laughs menacingly, spanking your ass again.
“Y-Y/n?” Jimin says slowly, “What’s happening over there?”
“Nothing! I’m o-okay – mmngg shit,” your jaw drops when he fucks you faster and rougher all of the sudden, his balls starting to clap against your poor, throbbing clit. Jungkook feels impatient so he takes the phone back, puts it against his ear, and speaks for you. “Jimin!” he greets happily as if he’s not pounding your pussy until you break, “Don’t worry about Y/n, she’s doing just great.”
How can he talk so steadily like that? Your teeth sink down on your bruised bottom lip again to stop you from moaning too loud. “But I’m trusting you, Jimin, not to touch my girl like that again, okay? I know you two are friends, sure – but there’s a limit. She has a boyfriend now.”
The possessiveness in his voice turns you on so much, not even expecting such a dark tone as he talks to him like that. Your arms start to hurt after being tied for too long, wrists getting sensitive as it keeps scratching against the rope.
“Yeah, okay, goodbye.” He finally hangs up, throws your phone somewhere on the floor. After that, he firmly grips your waist and changes your position with ease. He sits down on the bed, flips you around to make you straddle his cock.
His breath almost gets stuck in his throat from the way you looked. His hands immediately flies to cup your head, thumbs wiping your tears away from your cheeks as you look down at his with lustful eyes. “Baby girl,” he whispers, eyes raking your body up and down while you don’t stop bouncing on his cock, “Keep crying. I wanna see you get ruined on my big cock.”
He pulls you closer by wrapping his right hand around your neck, squeezing tightly, as his other hand guides your hips up and down. Your hard nipples slightly graze against his chest, adding more pleasure than you already can take.
“I’m g-gonna cum,” you grit, eyes drooping, “I’m gonna fucking cum again, daddy.”
He chuckles and nods his head. He can’t stay angry at you for too long. He can’t wait to provide you the aftercare that you deserve after this. He helps you to your orgasm by meeting your thrusts, fucking his cock into you while he brings a hand down to rub your clit with vigor. Your moans were getting louder, higher in pitch, as you can feel the oh-so-familiar tightness in your stomach again. You throw your head back, hands trying to pry themselves out of the rope. Thankfully, he gives you the benefit of the doubt and finally starts undoing the knot, unwrapping your wrists so that they can finally be set free. “Here you go princess,” he groans, “Ah ah, keep your arms still.”
Within a second of your hands being free, you quickly hug his sweaty body so tightly, pressing your cheeks against his shoulder, not only to have something to hold onto but to feel his comfort after a long time of being suppressed and denied from it. Jungkook laughs and kisses your shoulder, “I love you, Y/n.”
“Love y-you— awh god, thatfeelssogood!”
“Yeah?” he bites his lip, feeling the urge to tease you with his words for the hundredth time, “How good?” He attaches his mouth on your damp neck, sucking and biting on all of the sweet and tender spots that he knows you love. Trailing kisses all over, you were certain that he’ll leave marks all over your skin. Your body shivers when he uses his teeth to bite down on you, adding more to the buildup of your climax. “So g-good, daddy,” you whine, bouncing up and down harder, “Your big cock f-feels…feels so good inside my tight fucking pussy, daddy.”
Jungkook’s cock throbs from your unexpected words, gasping a little with a cocky smirk, “Mmm, when did you learn how to talk like that, huh?” a spank lands on your right, tender ass cheek, “Such lewd words coming out of that pretty mouth.”
Your mind starts to feel dizzy, almost to the edge of blacking out as your orgasm overpowers your body. He grunts from the way your walls were clenching around him so firmly, using his dick to your own good. Wrapping his arms around you tighter, he forces you to stay still on his cock while letting you ride out your high. “There we go, baby, there we go. Cum for me,” he insinuates, “Fucking hell, such a good, pretty girl for daddy.” He lifts your chin up with one hand, trying your best to make eye-contact with him but your tearful eyes feel too heavy. “Cumming so hard, oh my fucking god darling.”
Almost seeing black and white spots, your mind goes into a frenzy for you have no thoughts but the overwhelming sensation of your climax taking over your body. Jungkook moans as he lays you back down on the bed, bringing himself to his high. With your body shivering from the high sensitivity, Jungkook doesn’t stop.
His thrusts were sloppy and his pace becomes unsteady, moans getting louder. His body tenses and goes still inside of you, trapping your small body in his as he blows his load. He fills your cunt up with his cum, painting your walls in his seed. You can feel him twitch while you claw your hands on his back, trembling.
Jungkook mutters a series of curse words as your pussy squeezes his cock so hard, milking him properly until the very last drop of cum. After a little while, he pulls his dick out and he sees his cum leaking out of your pulsating little hole and dripping onto the bed. Licking his lips from the hot sight, he caresses your inner thighs as he tries to calm you down.
“Deep breaths, sweetheart. Deep, slow breaths for me.” He hovers back on top of you as he places his right arm underneath your head for support, his other hand gently stroking your side. All the anger, all the controlling and dominating aura that he previously had ten seconds ago immediately fades as he takes the role to comfort you the best that he can. He wipes your cheeks clean with the back of his hand, almost looking down at you with a slight pout. “Baby girl, look at me, hm?” Jungkook whispers gently, “Look at me.”
Once you do so, he feels himself almost collapsing from the poor, worn-out look that was embedded on your little face. “Oh, sweetie,” he sighs, “I’m so sorry.”
“N-No,” you slowly shake your head, still breathless, “Don’t say…”
“I should’ve, fuck—” Jungkook tilts his head to the side in dismay, feeling almost frustrated in himself, “I should’ve fucking stopped, look at you baby.” He holds your hand, gives your bruised wrist a wet, long kiss.
“Kook, I’m okay,” you giggle, a hint of tiredness in your voice, “I l-loved it.”
“Are you sure? Baby girl do you remember what I told you? If you ever feel too uncomfortable, or pain that you couldn’t bear anymore, or if you just want me to stop completely, what will you say?”
Perhaps this was one of the best things you love about Jungkook. His duality. One minute he’s rough and would dominate the fuck out of you, and the next minute he’s treating you like his princess.
“I’ll say my safe word.”
“Good,” he kisses your lips once, smiling down at you, “always remember that.”
You were awfully thankful that he’s the type to always shower you in kisses after a whole round of sex. Always caring about your well-being, that’s what he loves to do. Jungkook has cleaned himself in the bathroom first before he can handle and take care of you. He comes out of the bathroom dressed only with a pair of gray sweatpants with a damp towel and one of his t-shirt in his hand.
Kneeling before you on the bed, he starts to gently wipe your inner thighs and genitalia with the cloth. It was ticklish on the spot of your inner thighs, releasing a giggle as you try to move away from him. He smirks, grasping your leg down. “Tickles?” he grins at you.
“Turn around, little one. Let me massage your back.”
Your heart beats happily at that. But once you followed his command, his eyes immediately fly down to your ass. He hikes up the skirt that you still had on a bit higher, and he sees his handprints imprinted on your precious, delicate skin. “Holy shit,” he breathes out. Your body twitches when he carefully lays a hand down. “Sorry for this, little one. Guess you aren’t sitting for a couple of days, huh?”
Hiding your face in your arms, you quietly squeal, his words having an effect on you. “I g-guess so.”
Jungkook proceeds with his mission to massage your back, using his big hands to his advantage to knead your skin with just the right amount of pressure, massaging your arms and shoulders, pressing down on your lower back. Little groans emit from your mouth, enjoying the warmth of his hands. Your eyes eventually close, feeling that you were eventually going to fall asleep from how relaxing it is.
“Want some tea, darling?” he asks.
“Mm, no thank you. I’m a little sleepy…”
Your mouth curves up into a grin when he starts peppering kisses all over your back as well, moving your hair to one side. Jungkook, too, was smiling. He can’t even figure out how he got so lucky with you.
“You wanna nap, Y/n?”
“Mhm,” you nod.
“Okay, let’s get you in this shirt first. C’mon sweetie, flip back around for me.”
He holds onto the hem of your skirt and tugs it down, throwing it somewhere on the floor. His shirt reaches almost on your knee after slipping it on. Soon, he lays down beside you and starts spooning your body. It was easy for him to enclose yourself in his warmth, for his limbs were obviously bigger than yours. “Let’s take a rest and clean everything up later, okay?”
Although you didn’t reply.
“Baby?” he tilts your head to make you look at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Kook, I-uh…I wanna say sorry for what happened earlier—”
“Shh, shh, settle down now, sweetheart. I’m not angry about that anymore,” he gives you a beaming smile, his dimples peeking through. Oh, to swim in someone’s dimples…
“Don’t worry about it. I love you, Y/n. More than this fucking world.”
“Impossible!” giggling, you eventually squirm around him because you know for a fact that he’ll hug you tighter.
He did.
“Nothing’s impossible when you’re mine – my girl.”
God, you can never take a break with him and his impeccable word choices. You feel your cheeks heat up, shying away from him that caused him to laugh in amusement a little.
“I love you too, Kook,” your heart says genuinely. Jungkook pulls you closer and makes you rest your head on his arm. “Cozy? Let’s take a rest, baby. You’ve had a long day today, you did well. You might be sore afterwards but I’ll be right here when you wake up.”  The only thing you can remember after that was the gentle kiss he placed on your cheek, and the feeling of love and comfort in the air that encloses both of you. 
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“You know, Jungkook,” Taehyung speaks while munching on his Cap’n Crunch cereal, watching Jungkook come back to their apartment after driving you back to your own building. “You’re fucking lucky I was out partying. If not I would’ve…” Jungkook rolls his eyes when Taehyung fakes a gagging sound, “I w-would’ve thrown up hearing the two of you.”
“Funny,” he says blandly while heading towards the cupboards to make himself his own bowl of cereal.
Taehyung walks to his side, “Aren’t you and Y/n together for almost a year now? I don’t know much about relationships, but don’t you think it’s time for you guys to have a place of your own?”
Jungkook chuckles, heading towards the living room as he sits on the old green couch with his cereal on one hand. “So you’re kicking me out, Tae?”
“Well yeah, maybe I am, asshole.”
The youngest abruptly turns his head to him with a look of confusion, “Wait, really?”
Taehyung smirks, “Yup! I’m sick of you bringing Y/n here just to fuck, and not even let her hang out with me!”
Hang out with him? Since when was Taehyung interested in her? After a little moment of silence, Jungkook finally thinks of a reply, “What do you even wanna do with her? Also most of the time you’re either out getting drunk or locking yourself up in your room playing video games.”
“Threesome.”
Jungkook almost spits out the mouthful of milk and cereal.
“What the fuck—”
“Let’s have a threesome together.”
“No fucking way, bro.” Jungkook scoffs, pointing a finger at him, “We are not doing that.”
Taehyung was having the time of his life teasing Jungkook. He stands up in front of him, blocking his view of the TV. “I’m not having a threesome just to see you naked, cunt,” slowly, his mouth forms a smirk, “I wanna see Y/n nak—”
“Don’t even think about finishing that, Taehyung. I’m not fucking joking around.”
“Okay, shit, chill man,” he laughs, watching how Jungkook rolls his eyes. “And here I am thinking that you’re kinky and open-minded.”
Taehyung just loves to get into his nerves.
“I am,” Jungkook says in all seriousness, looking directly at his eyes. “But you know how I am with her. How selfish I can be. Other people will be fine with this, sure, but her body is for my eyes only, Tae. You can fuck anyone you like but not my girl.”
Taehyung sighs, walking away as he throws his hand in the air, “Fine, fine, whatever.”
Jungkook crosses his legs together, leaning back into the couch as he closes his eyes. The fact that he just had to put that image into his mind – someone else fucking his girl – he just can’t do it. He can be too possessive of your body and he wants it only for him.
“But if your girl ever wants two cocks to play with one day, hit me up.”
“If she wants two cocks then we’ll use a fucking dildo. Shut your ass up or else I’m gonna beat the fuck outta you,” Jungkook warns with a menacing chuckle.
Although Taehyung isn’t bothered by it, he fakes being frightened, “Oooohh, scary! Don’t hit me daddy!”
“Yep, that’s it.” Jungkook places the bowl down on the couch before abruptly standing up. Taehyung runs away while laughing like a madman with Jungkook following behind him. His roommate ends up locking himself inside his room where Jungkook can’t come in. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He says in the middle of laughter.
“You’re fucking hideous, you know that?” Jungkook crosses his arms.
“Tell me something I don’t know, Jeon.”
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When Jungkook turned nineteen, he remembered asking his mother when a man should introduce his girlfriend to his parents.
His mother, heart filled with genuine compassion, replied with; “When you are fully committed, and when you know for a fact that you will be spending the rest of your life with her – that’s when you let her eat at our table. So be very mindful of your feelings, Jungkookie. Remember this when you grow up, alright? I know you didn’t believe in long-lasting love when you were younger, but trust me when I say that it truly depends on the person.”
It was clear that Jungkook’s romantic side definitely came from his parents.
And fast-forward to the present, here you are sitting at their dining table, meeting his parents for the very first time. 
“So, Y/n,” Jungkook’s mother beams from the other side of the table while passing her husband more rice for his bibimbap, “How did you and Jungkook meet?”
“Mom,” Jungkook chuckles, “Haven’t I told you that a hundred times already?”
You blush from his words, trying your best not to look down in shyness. Though you feel your boyfriend’s right hand rests on your knee to ease you up.
“I know! But I just want to hear it from Y/n’s point of view! Who knows, you might be hiding some details!”
Before you can speak, his dad talks before you, “I was actually there at the time,” he smiles at you, “I think you should thank me for making Jungkook talk to you!”
“Hun, please let Y/n talk—”
Jungkook grins, “I think I would’ve talked to Y/n whether or not you told me so, dad.”
“Let the girl talk!” his mom balls her hand into a fist and pounds on the table.       
You busted out a laugh, quickly covering your mouth as you shook your head in disbelief. You’ve never encountered such a fun, happy family like this. This was your first time being introduced to someone’s parents, and truthfully, you wanted them to be your last.
“So, um,” you take a glance at Jungkook before continuing as if asking for permission first. He smiles down at you and nods his head, feeling his hand squeeze your knee. “Jeon’s Kitchen was actually a favorite place of mine! And of course, it’s still is—” you beam at his father, “It was raining very hard so I decided to stop by to eat some food before work.”
“Brown coffee and banana bread, yep, I remember that!” His dad proudly says.
“That’s correct, Mr. Jeon,” you giggle, “I sat alone and waited for the order until Jungkook here suddenly bursts into the café, all drenched from the rain!” You turn your gaze at him with creased eyes from the way you were smiling as you talk, “If I remember correctly, his car broke down and he had nothing to do, so he decided to help Mr. Jeon with work, is that right?”
Jungkook responds with a hum, staring amusingly into your glimmering eyes that were full of love.
“Until Mr. Jeon told Jungkook to keep me company! So yeah, that’s where we started talking.”
Of course, you had to leave out the fact that you had such an intimidating first impression of their son. You recall how hard his stare was as he talked to you, and how he literally made you blush so easily just by his handsome smirk (that until now you couldn’t get used to!). He carried such a strong aura, even up to this day.
“After that, well, we exchanged numbers and everything went from there!”
Before Jungkook drove you to his parent’s house so that they can finally meet you, you were an absolute nervous wreck. Overthinking that what if you say something embarrassing? What if you humiliate yourself in front of them? You were driven to have a good impression on them, which Jungkook founded adorable. Of course, he reassured you, saying, “They already love you from all of the stories I’ve told, baby.”  
And he was right. His parents never would’ve thought that a girl like you would walk into his life. You’re a blessing for their son.
Jungkook doesn’t sway his eyes off of you as you continue to chat with his parents, telling them your goals and dreams for the future. He watches the way your mouth tilts into the prettiest smile he’s ever seen, lips tinted with lipstick that was just begging to be kissed. He also catches the way your head slightly tilts as you talk, oh – he can’t forget how your knees were nervously jumping! With his hand slowly caressing your knee up to your thigh, he reminds you to calm down.
His breath hitches up a slight bit when you unexpectedly hold his hand under the table. He feels how cold your hand was so it was good for you to take his own warmth. Using his thumb, he strokes your skin delicately, and you instantly feel much better.
When the time is right and when he garners enough money, he will buy a house for the two of you. It doesn’t have to be fancy or anything elegant, but enough to keep you happy and contented – he knows you’ll understand that. Needless to say, he’s excited about the future he’s going to have with you. His mind wanders to the point of your first anniversary, the second anniversary, even up until marriage and having kids. It’s a huge stretch, yes, but he’d rather spend his life alone than without you. 
If his past self can read his mind right now, he’d definitely laugh.
He can’t wait to live his whole life with you by his side. You already have all the qualities he’s been looking in a person, and there’s no way in hell he’s going to leave you anytime soon. 
His mother’s voice cracks him from his thoughts, “Y/n’s such a pretty girl. So amusing to look at, too!” She gawks at you with excited, wide eyes. Her eyes reminded you of Jungkook, the same big and round ones, “Next time when you come to visit us, let me teach you my signature shrimp fried rice recipe, okay? Are you allergic to shrimp, Y/n?”
“Nope! I love shrimp!”
“That’s great!” his mom claps, “Jungkook, thanks for bringing Y/n here with us. She’s so wonderful.”
Shaking your head, you try to take her compliments as much as you can but of course, your bashfulness takes over.
Your boyfriend removes his hand from yours, only lifts it up so that his arm can rest at the backrest of the chair while he starts to stroke your head lovingly. The corners of his lips tilts up to form a smile, he feels as if fireworks were going off of his whole body, for he was so in love with you. How can a person love someone this much? 
He mutters the next sentence underneath his breath, thus only he and his pounding heart can hear; “That’s my girl.”
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The End.
Thank you so much for all of the amazing support for Crybaby! I never expected so much love and anticipation in the first place. I wrote Crybaby without any serious plot with a ‘tragedy/problem’ in mind, for it was only supposed to be a oneshot haha! Crybaby was mainly about the fact that Jungkook has dacryphilia and that’s it. But thanks to the support I’ve gotten, I made a part two and three! It’s sorta sad to end this series because I know a lot of people (including me) love this couple soo much! But they’ll make an appearance in short drabbles or even kinky hours. I’m sorry for the sudden ending, but this will not be the end for them!
Please tell me what you think by commenting or sending an ask, I really love to read your reactions!
Please stay safe, especially in these times. Remember that you are loved, and please be happy. I love you!
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