#but please dm me or something i don’t want this screenshotted and reblogged for fear of it being warped (especially at my mothers expense)

[krash-and-co]

so i just woke up from anesthesia afew hours ago but

yeag i agee wirh you one hundred percent you are so right ive said it before i will say it again amd again UYOURE RIGHR HE IS YEAH i’m going to sleep now btw

LISTEN, Kaz Brekker, W.W. Hale V and Antony Lockwood are three points on the same triangle. Don’t ask me how i know this but they are.

[mysteriousdragon2]

Howdy everyone. I know I’ve been venting a lot, but it’s all that my mind’s been focusing on.

Meaning I’ll vent again, and keep it on “keep reading”, since it covers personal feelings. In addition, up to you if you want to read it. If not, please disregard this post.

What do I even say…? The situation from my previous vent post has not changed. If not, if occasionally worsens.

“Parents” are telling me I am an idiot, that I’m useless at just about anything. Telling me that I need to seek “help” before it’s too late. And I’m not going to, because I am fine. Just not around them. They make me feel so uncomfortable and nervous, it’s beyond me.

I thought parents were supposed to be encouraging and supportive of their child’s choices and wishes, but no. Not mine. Mine despise me to the bone, much to the point of disowning me. They also shame my body. Every. Single. Day.

You have no idea how much is aches me to know that I’ve been disowned, with a chance of getting kicked out and living in the streets. I have my commission sheet ready, yet I don’t want to post it to the public. If others can’t afford my commissions, reblog this post. If someone wants to commission me, DM me and I’ll send the sheet. I just don’t feel confident and mentally well to have the sheet posted.

During my sleep, I keep having nightmares about them. My neglecting “parents”. It’s always about them yelling at me, down talking me, making me feel insignificant. Or them trying to kill me. This screenshot of DIO/Hol Horse represents just that, how I’m feeling to terrified, that I can’t even move. Perhaps even cry. It’s tormenting. It’s haunting.

I’ve been nothing but upset. I can barely even draw, I hardly have time for myself anymore. Only because I am escaping my home, waiting until my “parents” go to bed so they can leave me alone, but it leaves me with no time for anything to do for myself.

I’ve been lost. Lost with myself. And I’ve been missing my friends so much. I fear something in regards to friends now…

…fear the abandonment. It’s all I’ve been worrying about with them. I used to never worry about abandonment, until later on in life. Why must this be so upsetting to me, I don’t even know.

Again, I’ve been clinging on for dear life everyday. Trying to hang on. It’s tough, it really is. And I’m desperate for money. And pardon that art’s been so slow on my behalf for anything I owe to anybody, or for the sake of posting for fun. I’m really trying. It’s been very difficult to do anything with the little time I have, plus my mental state.

I’m trying to keep myself mentally stable, with my friends, cats, art, and by looking at fictional characters. They all mean too much to me.

Thank you for reading everyone.

[lovedinapastlife]

Rec List

Hey. It’s me. Sunlit Garden on AO3. If you would like to find a bughead fic, beta, be long-term groomed with positive feedback and helpfulness, then have your self-confidence chipped away, be isolated from other support systems, be negged, insulted, and emotionally harassed/toyed with to output to her idea of perfection -- or find someone who did this to others and will most likely weasel their way into doing it again -- I recommend none other than jandjsalmon, the gal who runs theblueandgoldoffice - a handy fic-finding website.

I made a prior post about my personal experience but apparently not everyone knew it was her because I didn’t name her specifically. Hopefully, this is the last post I’ll ever make about her. A lot of wonderful people reached out with similar experiences or sympathy but I’ve also seen some continue to interact with her or rec her as someone to follow. Now, I’m putting it in the tags. Her name is out there. If I see her on rec lists, at least I know the info is out there that she abused me and others and whoever posted didn’t want to deal with having to deal with her bullshit of her harassing them or they think I’m a liar. I have nothing to lose in this fandom or to gain by outing her. I’m doing it because I don’t want her to be introduced to new waves of authors/readers/people will trust her without protecting themselves or doing something to protect others. Unfortunately, me and the victims I talked to did not feel comfortable sharing how much she hurt us with each other until she’d done a fair amount of damage, and we were all trying to make it work with her until we hit a breaking point.

As a reminder... this is just a potential scenario based on past experience.

If you do become mutuals, and she thinks you have an ounce of fandom fame or MIGHT post things she likes if she bugs you enough, she might make you aesthetics, reblog, comment, buddy up to your friends to get closer to you, find out and exploit your insecurities or mental illness, notably withdraw support to prove a point if you like something she doesn’t or even show love for another person who doesn’t love her, keep records of your convos, show them to other people, vague post about you (sometimes even going so far as to message you without you even asking to make sure you know ‘oh it wasn’t about you’ to rub salt in that wound), let her husband talk shit about and to you even when on good terms with her, and try to get involved in your personal life to be your (only) best friend and support system... only to tell you you are nothing without her, people rely on her for recs and she can turn the tides on fandom favorites, you should not write original works because original romance is “disgusting” YA is “immature” and no one likes your work and your mind is too fucked up to be productive without her. No one will love you or have time for you like her.

She will insist you include scenes even if you don’t want them there, then try to claim she helped write your fic in the comments of it when all she did was tell you to add something you already wrote and deleted back in, though she did comment on the doc and talk through your million ideas and pick her favorite OF YOUR OWN IDEAS and help with grammar. She will also tell you at least one of your fics is disgusting and berate you to the point of not wanting to post it, especially if it shows Betty even slightly interested in someone besides Jughead at some point in her life, claiming “that’s not her!” but OOC or Jughead with past/current partners is no problem... and she will be very apologetic to have to tell you and make you feel bad, but brag in DMs of her friends that she “made you change your mind” and “taught you how to think” if you eventually cave and adjust something. Conversations become drags where you agree with what she says just to avoid confrontations and meltdowns sometimes.

If you talk to her and try to rebuild your friendship or set boundaries, she will either lash out or apologize and be good for a few days until she can find a reason to turn on you again. When you distance yourself for protection or make new friends, she will harass you in DMs asking why you unfollowed (even if it’s a tumblr glitch) or followed so and so, why you did or didn’t like something, tell you how awful everyone except her is, and try to get you to talk shit about your own friends when you know she’s talking shit about you, too.

Oh and if you compliment her on something you’re considered good at that she’s insecure about (prompted or unprompted), be prepared to be called a fake liar and a judgmental bitch in general for having an opinion -- yes, even if it’s positive, so imagine how fun it was to disagree on something neither of us even made.

She is not a neutral party when it comes to abuse and harassments either. Despite being very anti-cheating, she stoutly defends the Sprouse brothers despite multiple women and outlets coming forward claiming they cheated on or abused their partners, claiming the sources are “crazy” or “jealous” or “unprofessional.” I have some pretty ironic in retrospect screenshots someone sent me of some of her rants but I won’t post them publicly here. What Jandy told me of her former victims was that they blocked her for no reason. She was nothing but supportive of them and they got too big for their britches and had other friends and abandoned her. I’m sure she says similar if not worse things about me for calling her out and cutting her off.

So yeah, it will be uncomfortable to unfollow, ghost, and/or block her. It might even be inconvenient because of the service she provides to this fandom. But please keep in mind that even the slight fear/dread of her shadow-banning or harassing you is a sign that she’s affected you, too.

If you really miss that one extra comment per chapter, hit me up. I’ve got a lot going on but I’ll make an exception for people who need that extra support as long as I can. For additional support, please see local and online organizations to talk to a professional or volunteer trained to help with emotional abuse, toxicity, depressive, or anxious thoughts like therealdepressionproject. Good luck and have a wonderful day.

[bunny-hare]

Something about a discord server and NOT staying quiet about injustices

Okay! So, I don’t usually do this, but I think justice must be done and voices must rise because that’s exactly what these people don’t want.  I’m at this one Animal Crossing server where things seem nice... but they are not. The place is a hell hole where mods seem to only be interested about themselves instead the greater good (unlike how a mod should act).

They have gone as far as making subtle threats to members, dismissing opinions, censoring them for speaking their mind, between more, between these, but not limited to: ☆ Missuse of power.  ☆ Favouritism. ☆ Sexism/Misandry (+transphobia). ☆ Cultural appropriation. ☆ Animal abuse for “lols sake”. ☆ Discrimination (to disabled people and foreigners). ☆ Threats go as far as to DM’s. And I must remark on ☆ Censoreship of different people’s opinion. And there had been other issues such as allowing underage NSFW to be posted on general chat because “it was a default gif” (clearly, it made people uncomfortable), dismissing people going through hardships, etc, etc. they are a gift that just keeps giving.

I’m not the only one who is fed up with this behaviour, but I see no need to speak more about this when I can simply show it.  I present you, Lottie’s Lair.

(Note: I asked for consent of the users involved (except mods for obvious reasons) to upload the following screenshots. User names besides the mods’ have been censored to keep their privacity. Please, be mindful that I cannot share all the pictures as many incriminatory comments have been erased). 

Images under the cut

For starters, here’s a picture where one of the mods that goes by the username “Duck”, was mishandling a hamster.  As former hamster ownler myself, I can easily said that these little animals are fragile, they are not toys to play with and they can experiment anxiety by being held and squeezed like this. 

Moving forwards, I’d like to adress a issue with being fast to draw conclusions before moving to the censoreship and the issue with hadicapped people as they are tied. 

They were quick to draw conclusions that this person (I know them irl, mind you) was sexist, xenophobic, ableist and a number of other things but how can one be xenophobic of Mexican culture when they’re mexican themselves? Not to mention they’ve got a sis they love p much. And you know what caused this whole thing? That this person was trying to defend THEIR OWN CULTURE and their handicapped fellows (they have a disability themselves), but mods reacted the bad way (claiming they were mean although no one else thought that) and basically called him stupid for saying their information sources were wrong (the mod’s  information sources in question? THEY WERE MOVIES AND SOAP OPERAS, when, as a mexican myself, WE know that info they were so claiming to be real was wrong) not to mention they claimed to “know better” over these 3rd-source articles and because “they knew a lot about Mexico” because they went to vacations there (in middle of a pandemy when we, EVERYONE, no matter the place of the world, is already struggling as it is). Look, there is nothing wrong with being wrong, the problem arises when you won’t hear what the others have got to say.

And guess what?

They claim to be all rightful and doing the best, that the warning was because this person was being unthoughtful about the subject, but yet again, they make other disabled people feel dismissed whilst portraying themselves as angels. 

It was only matter of time before people got tired.

But of course, it got deleted- Luckily, the message wasn’t left unheard.

But it was censored yet again (check the hour at the task bar if you’d like to). (Note: the people who took place in these convos, most of them have already been banned). Look, this is NOT about a grudge nor anything, I hardly gave any interaction there myself, but I wholeheartedly believe that if there’s something wrong, we SHOULDN’T stay quiet about it! I can continue talking about the things I’ve seen there, but, honestly? I’m already tired. Please take this as my contribution because, no matter the scale, no injustice shall be glimpsed over as if it was nothing. 

Mods have made an hostile environment and just as they have done this with a discord server, nothing stops them from imposing themselves into others in real life.  I’m not saying there should be a raid, not anything of the likes (I won’t stop you if that’s your will, tho), just: don’t keep quiet, please. I know there are probably many other servers out there who have done such things, so, please, don’t keep quiet, spread your word and let others know.   And if you know any way a server could be reported, please, let me know.

And, if you could reblog this, that would make many happy. There were people who gave me their opinion too but feared to be banned so they asked me to leave their screenshots out, but they want their core opinions to be heard as well.

[aro-culture-is]

Transphobia on Tumblr 101

Things this lesson covers:

- How to avoid reblogging from transphobes such as TERFs with minimal effort

- I reblogged something from one, what now?

With that, buckle up!

Let’s say that you know that transphobia is bad (duh). You’ve maybe even heard the word TERF or radfem, but you might not know what that means. Fear not! A basic definition: TERF = Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist, and radfem = radical feminist. The fundamental difference is usually... nothing. Radfems don’t like to be called TERFs though because TERF = bad to most of tumblr, so it’s easier to spread their ideology by using the “not bad” label. They are ultimately people who want to call themselves feminists, but are transphobic.

So, armed with those basic definitions, how do we avoid these shitheads? Simple! We DO NOT GIVE THEM ATTENTION. We DELETE POSTS AND COMMENTS MADE BY PEOPLE WHO WANT OUR TRANS COMMUNITY DEAD FOR THEIR OWN CONVENIENCE. 

But how?

1) The extension Shinigami Eyes has your back! If you use desktop, Chrome and Firefox support it, and on Android phones you can add it to Firefox.

[id: an ask by vajazzled-vagina reading “I love your stuff, great work”; the username is in red and a red box encases it.]

Transphobes get red boxes and text for their usernames/pages (this includes links to their pages and is not tumblr exclusive)

[id: a page from the tumblr search showing the blog description “terfs dont deserve rights” for the url urfavhatesterfs.tumblr.com; the text is in green and the screenshot barely shows the green box around the blog linked region of the screen]

Trans friendly people get green boxes and text!

How does it all work?

[id: the blog myterfyspace, unmarked by this extension, with a right click menu open. nearly at the bottom of the list is “Shinigami Eyes” with a right arrow pointing to another menu reading “Mark as anti-trans”, “Mark as t-friendly”, “Clear”, “Settings”, and “Help”; blow this is the beginning of a post by paganterfs with the red transphobe markings]

Users submit if a person is anti-trans or trans friendly. When they do, the change is immediately available to them, but passes through a validation process before becoming publicly marked. Simply right click, hover over the extension, and select the appropriate marking. (and yes, this is a terf blog)

2) Don’t use desktop or don’t have android/firefox? Want another layer of protection even if you do?

For once, Tumblr itself can help! Click the person icon in the upper right hand corner, and then open your settings. 

[id: a screenshot of a section reading “Filtering”, “Filtered Tags”, and a box with “Add a Filter” and a blue box reading “Add”]

From there, type in tags that terfs use- “terf”, “terf safe”, “radfem”, “radfem safe”. Keep an eye out for more as they can change over time. Posts tagged with this by the original poster or the person who’s reblog you are viewing will show up as available only by clicking on it with the warning of the tag. This will flag false positives (such as this post itself), but you know who you trust from your dash. If you don’t know the poster and this pops up, check out their page. Search “trans”, “transgender”, “feminism”, “terf”, and “radfem”. If anything comes up that seems iffy or outright transphobic, don’t reblog it! More to come in lesson 201 on how to recognize posts from these sorts of people.

Next, what to do if you (or someone you follow) reblogs something that these flag:

First, send a message to the person who you saw the post from.

A sample: send the post over DMs or as a partial link through an ask box (/post/ onwards in the url is usually enough). Be polite - “Hi, I noticed that you reblogged this and I wanted to let you know that xxx is transphobic/a radfem/a terf. I spotted them because of (Shinigami Eyes extension, filtering, their url, the content of the post). Could you please delete it?” If they ask why they should delete it, be firm: “I don’t think a post/comment/”funny” joke is worth more than the comfort and safety of trans people.” If they continue to refuse, you have two options: do they seem genuinely confused? Do your best to explain or ask someone who you think could help you for help. Do they seem aggravated? Block them. If they don’t delete it and get mad, they agree. Yes, even if they are trans. Internalized transphobia exists.

If it is your post, delete it. Congrats! You’ve done a Good Thing.

If you’d like any clarifications, please reblog/comment and @ me!

In the near future, I’ll explore lesson 201: how to spot a terf from their own blog.