#but personally i think it could be INCREDIBLE to have charles' POV on it as well

[singsweetmelodies]

also i went through your profile just now, i know it is a lot to ask but if you find time, please write the Styrain GP fic!!? it's such a pivotal piarles moment ™ in their lore and THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH ANGSTY FICS ON IT like, HOW. I JUST. am so baffled.

that gp haunts the living daylights out of me. it could've been the end of them. had pierre not forgiven charles, everything would've been just gone or not the same anymore, at the very least. AND THIS IS PIERRE we are talking about. who's had a rough f1 journey to put it mildly, and charles KNOWS, and yes we can all say the demotion was in the past but I'm pretty sure half of the planet is still processing 2020, even i find it hard to believe that we're in 2023, in my brain 2019 was yesterday and the fact that all the drivers are constantly under scrutiny, "you're only as good as your last race" thinking and shenanigans and i just. pierre could've chosen his career over charles and i truly would've understood it, because like, at the end of the day, all these drivers what they really care about is results and winning and points and anything that comes in between is ruthlessly put aside AND DESPITE ALL THAT, DESPITE EVERYTHING, the fact that they made up and found their way back to each other, the fact that pierre would rather not worry about a botched race even though it came at the expense of charles, the fact that by next Wednesday he was making jokes about the incident in interviews, that he didn't carry any grudges and grievances forward and everything was okay, because it was Charles.

i have no trouble believing that had it been anyone else, it would've caused a fallout, i know if something on track goes wrong between Este and him next season, the old grievances would come back haunting them,, BUT that was never the case with charles, because it's charles and he's so much more important, he's so much more valued and cherished in Pierre's mind than the race itself, the fact that they moved on and they have talked about it in case it happens in the future, the fact that they're able to separate track life from their personal life, the fact that even though they have shitty races, if the other has a good one, they won't hesitate to celebrate each other. I AM JUST SO IN LOVE WITH THEIR BOND.

like if we think of it in terms of pierre's career, 2021 was a GOOD year for him, he was definitely turning heads and making people question whether his talents should be reduced to a rb b team, 2021 is such a crucial year in his career trajectory and this incident happened in that year. it would've been easy to let anger take over and let charles go, it would've been easy to let wounds fester and boil over, but he didn't, they didn't. because it's them and they're important to each other and i just want to cry now.

all this to say, i really would love if you wrote the Styrain GP fic, hehehe

🙏🙏🙏

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, anon, i have been coming back to my inbox to read through this again and again just to nod my way fervently through it, because, YES. yes yes yes yes yes!!! you get it, oh my god, you just get it. everything you said here is so "!!!" and so very true - pierre could easily have let charles go, as you said, and it would've been completely understandable considering where his career is at. (and also bcs pear is a bit of a petty bitch, lmao, just LOOK at those infamous film festival shenanigans with este, hehe 😏🤭) but the point is: charles is different. to pierre, charles is different, and special, and even though pierre was rightfully pissed off after the race, he still listened to charles and forgave him when he came to talk to him. and just. god. as piarles moments go, it is absolutely HUGE omg 🙏🙏🙏 you have said it all so absolutely perfectly that i don't think there's much more for me to say other than just, fuck yeah, styria 2021 is a massive one. omg.

now secondly: i am so 🥺🥺 and 🥰 that you took the time to go through my profile (and my freaking insane tags) like this!! that is SUCH a sweet thing to do, and ridiculously flattering, omg 🙈🙈😍 this one made me particularly happy bcs the styria fic is one i've been wanting to write since the moment i first learned what happened between them there. and that was, oh, freaking MAY 2022?? well before i'd even published my first f1 fic to AO3... yeah. the styria gp piarles fic is one that's been living in the back of my mind and heart for months now, so i am so touched that you are this excited about it too 🥺🥺 this ask has definitely inspired me to bump the styria fic up a good few places on my to-be-written list, so, ily always for that, anon ❤️

the last thing i wanted to say! omg, i completely agree that there aren't nearly enough angsty styria fics out there (but that's bcs i'm a bit of a whore for a good old angsty reconciliation fic and in my opinion there can NEVER be enough of them.) i've checked my AO3 bookmarks for you, though, anon, and i've actually found three which i've read and adored:

hand covers bruise by anonymous - i can't lie to you, i know exactly who the author of this one is 🙈 so i went to their AO3 profile to find it, and it had DISAPPEARED, and i nearly had a mini heart attack, ngl to you, because this is my favourite styria fic of all. i literally went "no no no! please no!" when i thought it had been deleted 💔 but thankfully it's still there, only on anon. so i will respect the author's privacy and not link it to them here, but omg, i will say that this fic is EVERYTHING one could ever want in a styria piarles fic. the hate-sex-that-isn't-really-hate-sex, 🐶 style (!!) but also a conversation about what happened between them, and the characterisation... it's PERFECT, truly it is. i cannot recommend this one enough 🙏

kiss it better by foxholecourts on AO3 - this is another "they fuck it out" post-styria, and it is as angsty as it is absolutely excellent and wildly hot. fun fact: this is on my very first page of AO3 bookmarks in this fandom! old but GOLD, as they say 🤭💙

the consequences of your actions by emotionalsupportfastcars on AO3 - this is a really beautiful (and heartbreaking) look at pierre and charles' emotional journey post-styria: particularly angsty bcs it portrays them already in a committed relationship here. there's no smut in this one, but there are SO many emotions, and i find it absolutely stunning in its simplicity. just such a good bit of angst writing, this!

so there you have it, anon! sorry for making you wait so long for this reply (🙈) but i am unfortunately distractible as alllll hell and very messy and chaotic when it comes to answering asks, i'm afraid. but i LOVED this ask so much, and i appreciate you so so much for sending it! ❤️❤️

[anxious-witch]

I know, I know we talked about the forest scene with Monty, Edwin and the Cat King to death. But, but. Hear me out.

Edwin was ready to both forgive Monty and thank the Cat King right then and there if they didn't push him, aka crossed a line in the sand for him.

When the Cat King initially informs him of Monty's betrayal, this is Edwin's reaction:

He looks confused, he looks hurt. But he doesn't look angry. Not yet. When he says "Were you just pretending to be my friend" he sounds hurt, but when he sees how Monty is affected, he still looks oddly touched. Especially when Monty says: "At first, yes! Then...no."

I know we joke about Edwin being awful at reading people, but Monty is obviously distressed and Edwin reacts to it. Besides, Monty is his friend. He wants to believe it wasn't all a ploy. But then, Monty makes a fatal mistake and brings up Charles. Immediately, Edwin's expression falls and then it turns angry and says: "Even if it were true, you are a bloody crow!"

We see Edwin forgive Simon, his killer, the person who was responsible for sending him to Hell, in mere minutes, once he finds out why Simon did it. I don't believe for a second he wouldn't have forgiven Monty in a heartbeat if Monty properly explained himself, instead of falling back to his hurt feelings and in turn, trying to hurt Edwin the same way by bringing up Charles. Which is a shame, because they really could have used each other's help.

As for the Cat King, I think it's a very similar story too!

Immediately after Monty walks away, Edwin closes his eyes and says: "I am such an idiot." And the Cat King nods, but you can already see most of the anger Edwin held towards Monty dispersing.

When the Cat King stops him from leaving and says: "I came all the way into this ridiculous forest to save you, I think I am at least owed a thank you," Edwin doesn't seem mad. I'd even go as far as to describe his expression as soft surprise. I think he is thankful, in that moment. And why wouldn't he be? The Cat King did save him from a trap.

It's only when the Cat King brings up a second kiss, implying he should thank him by kissing him, does Edwin grow angry again.

Also, importantly, the way Edwin pushes the Cat King away is almost gentle. Bitchy, and pissed off, for sure, but also gentle. Like, if it was someone who I genuinely didn't want anwhere near me, I'd shove them away by the shoulders, and with much more force. And sure! Edwin isn't a type for violence, but c'mon. We know he is capable if pressed, as seen when Esther hurt Charles.

Edwin keeps his anger tightly locked, only letting it out through his words. He practically spits out "I am not your toy to yank around." But even so, the only tense action we see from his is the way he cocks his head and demingly looks thr Cat King up and down.

Only after the Cat King threatens him, does Edwin get up in his personal space and almost violently(by his standards) shows him the bracelet, saying "This is all that you are. Do you understand?"

My point is, if both the Cat King and Monty essentially told/showed Edwin their actions are somehow tied into his reciprocation of his feelings. Funnily, enough, I feel like if either of them didn't base this interaction on that, and instead rather connected with Edwin emotionally, they would have had a shot at getting exactly what they wanted that night. Monty, Edwin's forgivness and the Cat King, Edwin's thankfulness, perhaps even a sense that he owes him, next time they see each other.

Which is great! Because it shows us sm about the characters, their flaws, and their priorities! But yeah. Talking about shooting themselves in the foot.

I also think that, for all we joke around Edwin holding grudges, he is actually incredible in how quickly he forgives people, as soon as they show the skightest initative for change/goodwill. Part of me hopes he and Monty meet again, just so Edwin can understand his pov, the same way he understood Simon and thr Cat King's but alas. I suppose we'll see

[ladysomething]

Hello! Back with more thoughts! I can already tell this is going to be way too long, I am so sorry in advance, dont feel like you have to respond!! But first of all, I saw an ask where you said you liked Taylor Swift and since you were at the AUS GP, I must ask- did you get to go to the Eras Tour in Australia? I will be incredibly jealous if you did!! Anyways, AHHH THIS CHAPTER!! I have so many thoughts, I wish I could share all of them, but that would actually turn this ask into a real essay and this will already be too long lol.

I LOVED the new things we learned about the Dreyma Ver-öld!!! So interesting that people still feel pain there, but in a lesser way (does the same thing apply when sensing emotions through a bond, like Max can do with Charles now?) and so interesting that they don’t visit it while in heat/rut. And very very interesting that injuries received in there exist in the real world too!! I am DYING to know what Max’s is like, since I get the feeling it’s not quite the safe space that Charles’ is.

THE COLLAR?! I’m seeing everyone freaking out about it, but not going to lie, I burst out laughing when I read that part. OF COURSE Max would be *that* petty and throw Charles’ comment back in his face like that. I am obsessed with them and the way you write them. And the collar is awful and humiliating, but I am also excited for its reappearance 😏

I was so excited for a Max POV last chapter, but I semi-take that back now because knowing both of their perspectives and seeing wildly wrong they both are about each other just makes me want to lock them in a room and barricade the door until they figure out what a communication is. I’m frustrated as hell now, but also absolutely living for the angst while I wait for them to figure out what words are!!

I think Charles is incredibly stupid for thinking Ferarri is going to care about him starving himself. And Charles clearly isn’t caring about himself beyond just trying to get away from Max right now, so it feels incredibly twisted that Max is kind of the only person who is knows what is going on with Charles and cares about Charles (even if he seems to care in an incredibly weird and fucked up way right now). 

LOVE how susceptible you’ve made Charles is to alphas and how that fucks up the power dynamic EVEN more (the way he reacts to Pierre now???, the way he said that if Max had used his alpha voice, he would have been out for HOURS????!!!!) I have a feeling that this is a big reason that Max isn’t letting him go anywhere, and that this will become veryyyyy relevant (perhaps with a certain Mercedes mechanic 👀) later????

There’s SO much more I want to say but this is WAYYYY too long (sorry!!!), so super quick honourable mentions: 

happy dance when I saw the fic title in the chapter!!

“Maybe it’ll come to fruition as soon as the Monaco GP” I am suddenly TERRIFIED for what you have planned for Charles’ home race

Pierre becoming visibly worried in response to Charles getting a maniacal little grin and coming up with an awful plan had me absolutely rolling I love the way you write everyone

Eek it was all so good!! I am so excited to eventually get to the point in this fic where we start getting answers instead of more questions but I LOVE this suspense you’re building!! Thank you for sharing <3

you've triggered me very deeply, because I did NOT GO TO THE ERAS TOUR. I COULDN'T GET TICKETS. I stg I cried for like 3 days when I missed out lol. and then also had a weep when I watched the movie. I will forever rage at people who went to like 5 nights because how the FUCK did they get those tickets!!!!

I'm so glad you like the dream world so much. there are some reallllyyyyyy fun scenes planned for that place.

zipped lips re the alpha voice!!!! but it's also going to be coming back!!!

Pierre thought "does Charles not remember that the last time he thought he had a great plan he got bought by Max" and you know what??? that was very real of him

I think the answers are going to start trickling in pretty soon!! I think? Well, I think so at least haha. the next Max POV gives some pretty good insight into a couple things.

[nicolesainz]

Sweeter than fiction (CS55)

Carlos Sainz x Reader

Warnings: the loviest doviest one shot you’ll read

————————————————————————

Seeing Carlos on the top of the podium, made my heart so full, that I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life. His smile was so radiant and radiated so much positive energy. As soon as he crossed the line, I immediately took off my headset and run to the front of the field that was gathering around the podium celebration.

We all cheered when Checo and Lewis appeared but I let out the biggest scream when Carlos walked up. This season has had a few difficult moments, especially the unfair DNF’s and him being unable to show what he is truly capable of achieving.

I started humming the Spanish national anthem and was staring at the winner of the British Grand Prix. When he finally caught me with his eyes, his smile grew bigger and a wink came my way. Both of the guys on his sides were looking proudly at Carlos. A first win is always exciting and they know it firsthand.

When he was given the trophy, he lifted it up in the air like a little kid. His eyes were glowing, whilst mine, Rupert and Onõro’s were full of tears. Happy tears. We’ve been here since the beginning and now the story in unfolding.

Carlos’s Pov

Winning this Grand Prix is surely thrilling! I thought this time wouldn’t come but it did! And I am more than happy it happened at this time of my life. Perfect timing as they say!

Looking down, I spot Y/N with a smile bigger than the whole sky, and alongside her, hugging her are Carlos and Rupert. All three of them crying. I’ve never seen her cry before. I only want to see her laugh and be happy, but I feel like these are tears of happiness.

All three of them have stuck beside me since forever. Carlos and Y/N coming to my karting races and Regional Formula races, cheering and coming to congratulate me the moment I got out of the car. From the early days at Toro Rosso to my second year in Ferrari. During the good and bad days they’ve helped me with everything.

Especially Y/N. From being my childhood best friend and my sisters teasing us about getting married one day, to us actually being a couple and attached to the hip. I love her more than anyone can describe. She’s happy when I’m happy, sad when I’m sad. Always comforts me and takes care of me.

I wanted to run down and kiss her so badly. I want to wipe the tears from her beautiful face and give her the biggest hug. She doesn’t know that if it wasn’t for her, I would have given up. She gives me strength and motivation. Even during the weekends she can’t come to the race, even her motivational videos and messages fuel me!

Y/N Pov

When the celebration was over, I run back to the Ferrari garage to first of all comfort Charles. Not going to lie, I would have loved to see him on the podium today, but Carlos on top made me the happiest woman alive. 

“Hey Cha. Great job today! I am very proud of you”

He gave me a faint smile as I went in for a hug. He is trying so hard for this championship and the pressure is obvious. 

“Thank you y/n. I did try my best but apparently wasn't enough. Congratulations to Carlos though. First win, must be very exciting. I congratulated him over the radio, but thought to do it in person after he sees you”

“I am very happy for him. But seeing you as a duo on the podium is more pleasant”

“It will come soon. I hope so. Go and find the winner and we will talk again”

“You've got this Charles. Keep your head up. I believe in you”

I find the door of Carlos’s room and knock on the door gently. I fear he may have been talking to someone else.

“Come in” he replies and I peak my head inside the room only to witness a semi naked Carlos. His fireproof was off and his suit has reached his waist. His hair were a big mess but all I could focus on was my boyfriends big smile

“Felicidades mi amor! I am so incredibly proud of you”

I run towards him and hug him so tight, as if I hadn’t seen him in years. He smelled like champagne. The smell of a winner.

“I couldn’t have done this without you! You’re an angel!”

Carlos begun leaving small kisses on my lips and forehead as I was running my fingers through his hair. Those small reassuring gestures are what make me believe in love. People may think Carlos isn’t the touchy type of guy but I haven’t received more hugs and kisses from anyone but him.

“I love you! You can’t imagine how happy I am right now. When you crossed the line, I let out the biggest scream of joy, I think Mattia won’t allow me to step into the garage again.”

“What did I do to deserve you? I don’t know how you’ve put up with me all those years. I owe you my life”

“Like I said, I love you. And I will never leave your side, whether you win or not. I’m here to stay”

“You’re my forever Y/N”

————————————————————————

[carnivorine]

this year i read:

Night Walks by Charles Dickens, not really much to say about this one as I read this in January and it is not particularly memorable

We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, I really did prefer this to 1984, at some points found it quire confusing, but overall yeah

The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh, this book was okay but it was not a banger by any means. Very quiet feeling and did not really grip me, it was average but I would read another of her books (indeed I have Cursed Bread to read at some point)

What Moves the Dead by T.Kingfisher, to be honest I love the premises of Kingfisher's books however have read two now and much like Schwab they do absolutely nothing for me, most likely would not read a Kingfisher book again although I always love the premises. It is the execution that I dislike

Outlawed by Anna North, I was an enjoyer of this book. Nothing else to say really. I liked it, not a new favourite but a keeper.

No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy, I think this is an excellent book, can be very confusing for me due to the writing style but would definitely reread, probably one of the best books objectively that I have read this year

The Unseen Body by Jonathan Reisman, this doctor is insane honestly like reading some of his thoughts I was thinking WTF, but I did enjoy this for the (quite service level) insights into the body. I especially enjoyed the first chapter in my memory, wanted to show it to people who are not aware of EOL care and considerations, but not that good for people who already have a well enough understanding imo

Life With the Afterlife by Amy Bruni, this was very readable but again quite surface level, I am not familiar with the TV show the author is on and it referenced that quite a lot, enjoyed the viewing of ghosts as completely real, would love more 'ghost non-fiction'

From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty, I really did like this book but tbh I thought some of her descriptions were kinda cringe, teenage edgy, also it was barely around the world and there were not many sections, at least two were about the USA. Like they were still interesting but it did feel kind of surface level again, and not that international

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant, really did enjoy this one, there were definitely flaws and it is hardly a literary masterpiece however it was a lot of fun to read

Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder, this was another one that I found to be good fun however with flaws. I enjoyed the first POV the most but then I kind of thought it descended into a mess. Think this could have been done incredibly well if it was longer and went into actual biblical lore... a person can dream

Pew by Catherine Lacey, this was okay, although this had been hyped up to me and did let me down. This was very interesting premise of a completely ambiguous person and had a lot of space for coversation about perception and treatment based on race/gender/class etc however I am not sure this was explored to it's full potential, it was also recommended as something creepy, which I did not feel it was

Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno Garcia, what can I say, Silvia Moreno Garcia I am in love with you <3 obsessed with the doomed romance tbh and I will read anything she writes. Put this off for over a year because I was scared I would hate it - ha I could never

Below by Laurel Hightower, I was so disappointed in this tbh. Like WHERE was mothman? He was there like three times and the main monster was NOT mothman. It was marketed as a mothman horror, and there was too much going on for such a short book

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson, another banger of a book, one of the top three of the year. The ending did feel rushed to me but I believe and hope there will be a sequel, other than that I really enjoyed this

Stolen Tongues by Felix Blackwell, this was okay... the premise and prologue were creepy but it just got worse as it went on. Also, he said how he was advised not to use Native American folklore and characters and he did anyway and said something about not making them into caricatures but the two main native characters still died during assisting the white main characters so... ??? Personally I would have enjoyed this more had it stayed a reddit story, or even a novella

Garlic and the Vampire by Bree Paulsen, a cute little comic type thing about a group of vegetables being petrified of a nearby Vampire who had just moved back into his castle, and a cute little lesson (???) about assumption and judging people before you know them, will probably read to my son

[colourblindcharles]

Ok so like

Charles and Edwin are both 22, they both just graduated uni together after doing their final year part time to train

Charles is a Team GB gymnast, it's his second olympics, he didn't medal at Tokyo 2020 but he's older and has more experience now so...

Edwin is a Team GB fencer, it's his first olympics, mostly because he didn't feel ready for Tokyo 2020 and made the decision not to try for it

They met at St Hilarions, which in this universe is a specialised sports academy, and then both go to university in London, so at this point they've been best friends for over 10 years and dating for 4

Charles originally applied for cricket but tried gymnastics in PE, fell in love with it, and took up both until he eventually reached a level where he has to choose one

His parents weren't thrilled with the choice

Edwin's parents just put him into fencing as a kid because his family have always done it and he got like,,, really good

I like to imagine he has an older brother who is stereotypically incredibly sporty but it's Edwin who ends up at the olympics because his brother just doesn't have that kind of dedication to a single sport

POV you make it to the olympics and they don't let you room with your long term boyfriends bc you have to room with other people in your sport

Moving on

Crystal is a Team USA judoka, she started when her parents put her in self defense classes and just,,, never stopped

She met Charles and Edwin when they were kids because she attended their sister school, but moved back to the US when she was 18 for college and training

Honestly thank god her and Edwin don't compete in the same event they'd be insufferable

Niko is a new addition to the group

Her and Crystal have a lovely little lesbian meet cute

Like Niko manages to get on the wrong bus at the opening ceremony and Crystal's the one to be like hey btw why are you with Team USA you're wearing Japanese kit

Because being lost in whimsy and then getting literally lost is something Niko would do

There's TV footage somewhere of Crystal Legging It back to her boat after helping Niko find her way back to Team Japan while gay screaming down the phone to Charles

Oh yeah Niko is a Team Japan archer

I just think she's the kind of person to be like oh yeah :) my sport could kill you :)

And honestly she deserves that

Top 10 people to have on your zombie apocalypse team

Both Archery and Judo take place in the first week of the games so their little romance has to hold off until they're not training their asses off, but rest assured that week 2 they're living their best lesbian lives

thank you for your time I might have more thoughts later idk

Charles: she could kill you

Crystal, dreamily: yeah

Be the change you want to see in the world, write a dead boy detectives Olympics au

[junglxqueen]

Verstappen Devil [06]

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to update but I had a major writer's block. Thank you for all your support and comments! I swear it helps and motivates me a lot. I had to divide the chapter in two because the other one deserved a chapter of his own. Hope you enjoy it!

Charles’ POV

I… saw something that I wasn’t supposed to see. 

Let’s go back a little bit.

At first I was mad at Y/N, I was fuming. How could she dare to talk to Max like that? That was so out of place and incredibly rude. I was about to jump into the scene and start fighting with them too. But then Max didn’t say anything to defend himself, Mick blamed him and the look on his eyes when he turned around? That shut me up incredibly fast. Those three factors added up made me question if I was on the right side very quickly.

Guilt.

It was written all over his face, screaming through his eyes, pouring out of the air that he was breathing. I was surprised, to say the least. If I didn’t know him any better, I would even say he wanted to cry, but c’mon, this is Max we are talking about, he doesn’t cry. 

“Max… what did you do?” 

I couldn’t avoid the question to escape my mouth as I started to put the pieces back together.

Okay, time to be honest: I lied to the boys, well, I didn’t lie I just omitted one part of the story. F3 and F2 are not from where I know Y/N. Truth be told, I met her long before, back when Max and I hated each other and raced on carts. That’s where I first saw her.

I’m pretty sure it was her because I heard her name a few times and I could recognize those blue eyes and freckles anywhere. I think I’m four or three years older than her, so when I first met her she was just a little kid, give it a 6 or 7. Back then, I used to find kids her age annoying, but for some reason not her. She was shy, very quiet, you could always find her standing in a corner avoiding talking with everybody.

She wasn’t a competitor or anything like that, she was there for Max. They were friends, supposedly. Truth is I’ve never really seen them talk a lot. Instead it seemed as if they avoided each other, or at least he did. I used to find it strange that even with him ignoring her, and her being always alone, she never missed a race day.

Even if we never really talked, I used to find myself keeping track of what she was doing and darting glances her way. It was adorable to see the shine of admiration and excitement in her eyes when she saw the karts racing. It was pretty obvious that she was itching to get into one but she never really asked for it and Max never offered. 

 When she was alone (which was pretty much all the time) and thought that nobody was seeing her, she used to talk to herself, with the karts or even put a hand on the track and talk to it. Basically, anything willing to listen. She used to do these little dances on Max’s victories, they were ridiculous, but I got a laugh every time that I saw her doing it. She was an adorable little kid. I even saw her when we were in F3 and F2. We were a little bit grown, and as the years went by her bubbly personality started to fade out. But she was always there, in every race.

That’s why when I joined F1, two years after Max, one of the first things that I did was to look for her. I was extremely curious about that young girl and I finally got the chance to see her again. But I didn’t find her, she wasn’t there anymore. So I started to ask around. ‘Have you seen this blonde girl? She is always with Max, blue eyes, blonde hair, freckles, kinda shy?’ But to my surprise, no one knew her, no one had ever seen her or heard about this ‘friend of Max’. At one point I even started to believe that she was a product of my imagination and I never dared to ask Max about her.

So I stored it in my box of memories (that apparently was failing me and making me believe in innexisting people) and forgot about it.

That was until two years later, when my brother was talking to me about this new prodigy that just won the F3 championship and was already causing furor in the new season of the F2 championship. To be honest I wasn’t really listening, I was tired, falling asleep as he kept talking and talking about how awesome this person was. But then I heard a she, followed by a Y/N. I’ve never woken up so quickly in my whole entire life, I think I even scared Lorenzo.

 I knew that name, I heard it before.

I was extremely confused when I asked and he said Y/N Vettel. She was his sister? Or a family member? How could I not know that? Couldn’t be the same Y/N that I know then. But when I looked it up it was her, definitely it was, the same dark blue eyes and freckles on her cheeks. It was my Y/N. 

Sorry, not mine, Max’s. 

I could not believe what my eyes were seeing, and even less the last Name that figured next to her name.

“What is she from Seb?” I asked without looking up from my phone, eyes fixated in her picture.

“It’s Seb’s daughter” He said as if it was the most normal thing in the world and I was the stupid one for not knowing.

“Seb’s daughter?!” A scream escaped from me. 

Couldn’t be. How? When? How? What? How? When?

I was speechless and kept looking down at the picture to see it was really the same person, was my brain playing games with me again? but I could swear that she was that same little kid, I could recognize her everywhere.

I went to bed so confused that day. After a whole day thinking and analyzing I decided that I couldn’t trust my brain anymore. Was she the same kid from when we were little? Or is just my memory playing tricks with me again? Is she a made up memory? Or is she the same Y/N that I knew? 

Too many questions and no answers. I was so lost and I knew that if I didn’t shove it all up in the back of my head I would never be at peace again. So that’s what I did and forgot completely about it.

Or at least that was until I saw them arguing and all those stored memories hit me like a train all at once.  My confirmation arrived when Max looked at me with those regretful eyes. She definitely wasn’t a product of my imagination, she was the same kid I grew up with, she was here with us and she was Vettel’s little girl.

I knew I wasn’t imagining things.

My head was working a mile per hour trying to process everything and fit the pieces together when Lewis came up running, asking ice like desperate and then telling us to fuck off when we asked what happened. I knew it was related to the scene that just desenvolved in front of us, it had to be.  So after he left, I found my way to sneak around and followed him.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, it’s in my curious nature, and it’s worse if it has anything to do with that mysterious girl.

I don’t know what I was expecting to see when I followed him, but it definitely wasn’t this. Y/N was on the floor, crying her life out, sitting on Mick’s lap. They hugged each other as if they were scared that the other one was going to disappear at any moment. There was a look of affliction and sadness on Mick’s expression and I’m quite sure that I saw tears down his eyes too. 

I was surprised to say the least, I wanted to ask, I wanted to help but I knew that it wasn’t my place to be. I wasn’t supposed to be seeing this. It felt like I was invading a personal moment, too delicate, too fragile for me to witness. That feeling was only confirmed by Lewis when I locked eyes with him. He sat next to them, silently.  His face bathed with worry but not getting himself involved in the scene. He was just sitting there, giving them enough space but close enough in case they needed him. 

He wasn’t happy to see me, at all. I could understand why, I felt guilty for following him. He looked at me with reproach in his eyes and moved his head side to side in a ‘no’ signal. The message was clear: “Don’t come near”.

 I nodded, gave them a last glance, turned around and left for my room. 

I had more questions in my head now and I couldn’t ignore what I just saw. It was too touching, too heartbreaking for me to walk past it. That added to the fact that I just confirmed that she was indeed that blonde kid, that it wasn’t a product of my imagination as I ended up assuming and that she was in fact Seb’s little girl.

What happened with Max that she is so affected to break down like this? Why did she disappear? Where did she go? How could I not know that she was a Vettel? What was she from Mick? 

Too many questions were floating in my head, leaving me kinda dizzy and swimming in confusion. There were so many unknowns to answer, but there were three things I was completely sure of:

She wasn’t that adorable little kid anymore, she had turned into an incredible, talented and unbelievably beautiful woman.

I needed to know what happened between her and Max.

I wasn’t going to let Italy pass without getting to know her.

I’ve taken for granted her presence once and she ended up disappearing for years, I wasn’t about to let that happen again.

Y/N’s POV 

P1 and P2 went great, the car was feeling good, the track even better and with the constant visits to my garage from Lewis and Mick (and even Roscoe one time) to check on me, I was starting to lift my spirits too.

Mick came by so often that it started to annoy his PR manager. It was funny to see the poor soul arriving at the garage and scolding him because he kept escaping his team to come to see me and dad. I’m pretty sure that at the end of the day they found a way to prevent him escaping because at one point he stopped coming and I didn’t see him again until dinner time.

By that time I was completely back on track again, having dinner with my dad and Mick was the cherry on top of such a great day and almost made me forget about what happened that morning.

That was until my dad brought the subject up. 

How does he know? I don’t know, maybe it has something to do with a certain blonde guy that was staring at me with big eyes like a caught deer while I was doing my best not to kill him at that exact moment.

“What do you know?” I asked cautiously with my eyes glued to Mick.

“I know everything.”

Oh… I’m going to murder you.

“Woah! Look at the time.” He said in fake and exaggerated surprise. “I have to go to do… important… stuff… for tomorrow.”

With that lame excuse he said his goodbyes and made his great escape avoiding the pillow that I threw his way. 

I swear I’m going to kill him, dirty rat.

“I can’t believe he ratted on me!”

“Don’t blame it on the poor guy, I made him talk, you know I can be very persuasive when I want.” I scoffed.  “I realized on my own that something was wrong with you. Y/N you are my daughter, I know you better than myself. What he told me only confirmed my suspicions.”  He was silent for a second. “Also, Mick’s presence in the garage is nothing new, but it was weird how often he came by but even weirder was Lewis’ presence… several times.”

Oh… yeah. I guess he’s right. There was a lot of attention on me today from those two boys so it made sense that he suspected something wasn’t quite right.

“I’m not reproaching you but, why didn't you come to me? You usually come to talk to me about these things, why didn’t you this time?” 

He looked at me with worried eyes. I know what’s going through his mind, I know my father. He is fearing that maybe he did something to betray my confidence and that’s why I didn’t go to him. 

He couldn’t be more far away from the truth.

A sigh escaped my mouth as I fixated my eyes on my fingers. I guess it's time to talk about what has been hunting me all day.

“It’s not because you’ve done something wrong or anything like that dad.” I thought for a moment the words that I was about to say, “I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid you would get mad at me for how I behaved.” I looked up at him, lifting my eyebrows “I was rude, dad. I was really mean. I don’t  know what came over me. I swear I tried to control myself, to ignore him, but he kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing, until I couldn't handle it anymore.”

I looked around the room, suddenly feeling the weight of his eyes on me.

“I exploded in a horrible way and I said some mean stuff. I was so blinded by anger that I didn’t measure my words and everybody witnessed it. I didn’t take care of my heart, hate took the best of me and I turned into this person… for a minute I was like him, dad.” I refuse to look at Seb, shame taking over me, I feel him getting up and hugging me. “I reminded myself of him, I was him, I don’t wanna be him-”

“-You are not,” he interrupted me, “you are this beautiful, strong, independent woman full of life and kindness, energy, light and life. You are not him and you are not even close to being like him. You are Y/N Vettel, my daughter and the most amazing girl that I know.” A small smile formed on my lips, “You’ve been through a lot Y/N, and some of that stuff leaves wounds that need to heal and they can take time to do so. And sometimes it hurts, and it bleeds if you take the crust off, like today, and that’s okay. A small moment of weakness doesn’t define you. Just… don’t let it rot. Because if you are not careful, and treat it the proper way, it’s going to infect and rot.”

He separates from the hug, grabs both sides of my face and looks straight into my eyes. He is worried, I can see it. I feel bad for making him worry. 

“Don’t let it infect Y/N, don’t give your past the power to come in and rot your heart. You have a beautiful heart baby, take care of it.”

A/N: Some new information we have here... 😉 theories anyone? With this we finally close the panic attack scene and we get ready for the race and certain driver to step in.

Tagglist: @iamasimpingh0e @celinehdr @memeorydotcom @multifamdomfan12 @idkiwantchocolatee @isasv @marelovesf1 @teamspideyman @fictional-l0v3r @capela-miranda @juliejulesblog @ricsaigaslec @theplobnrgone @bands-messed-me-up @starxqt @sriusun @coffeehurricanes @anthonykatebridgerton @laura-naruto-fan1998 @enjoymyloves @hungryhungariann

[mimicofmodes]

“The Ladies Waldegrave” by Joshua Reynolds, 1780 (NGS NG2171)

I’ve complained before about two very big pet peeves of mine - corset stuff and Regency women being dressed in 1770s-1780s clothes - but one that may dwarf them because of how frequently it comes up in historical and fantasy fiction is the oppression of embroidery.

That’s probably putting it a bit too strongly. It’s more like ... the annoyance of embroidery. Every character worth reading about knows instinctively that sewing is a) boring, b) difficult, c) mindless, and d) pointless. The author doesn’t have to say anything more than “Belinda threw down her needlework and looked out the window, sighing,” to signal that this is an independent woman whose values align with the modern reader, who’s probably not really understood by her mother or mother figure, and who probably will find an extraordinary man to “match” her rather than settling for someone ordinary. To look at an example from fantasy, GRRM uses embroidery in the very beginning of A Game of Thrones to show that the Stark sister who dislikes it is sympathetic and interesting, while the Stark sister who is competent at it is boring and conventional and obviously not deserving of a PoV (until later books, when her attention gets turned to higher matters); further into the book, of course, the pro-needlework sister proves to be weak-willed and naïve.

Rozsika Parker, in the groundbreaking 1996 work The Subversive Stitch, noted that “embroidery has become indelibly associated with stereotypes of femininity,” which is the core of the issue. "Instead embroidery and a stereotype of femininity have become collapsed into one another, characterised as mindless, decorative and delicate; like the icing on the cake, good to look at, adding taste and status, but devoid of significant content.” 

Parker also points out that the stereotype isn’t just one that was invented in the present day by feminists who hated the idea of being forced to do a certain craft. “The association between women and embroidery, craft and femininity, has meant that writers concerned with the status of women have often turned their attention towards this tangled, puzzling relationship. Feminists who have scorned embroidery tend to blame it for whatever constraint on women's lives they are committed to combat. Thus, for example, eighteenth-century critical commentators held embroidery responsible for the ill health which was claimed as evidence of women's natural weakness and inferiority.”

There are two basic problems I have with the trope, beyond the issue of it being incredibly cliché:

First: needlework was not just busywork

A big part of what drives the stereotype is the impression that what women were embroidering was either a sampler:

sampler embroidered by Jane Wilson, 14, in 1791 (MMA 2010.47)

or a picture:

unfinished embroidery of David and Abigail, British, 1640s-50s (MMA 64.101.1325)

That is, something meant to hang on the wall for no real purpose.

These are forms of schoolwork, basically. Samplers were made by young girls up to their early teens, and needlework pictures were usually something done while at school or under a governess as a showpiece of what was being learned - not just the stitching itself, but also often watercolors (which could be worked into the design), artistic sensibility, and the literature, history, or art that might be alluded to. And many needlework pictures made in schools were also done as mourning pieces, sometimes blank, for future use, and sometimes to commemorate a recent death in the family. A lot of them are awkward, clearly just done to pass the class, but others are really artwork.

Many schools for middle- and upper-class girls taught the making of these objects (and other “ornamental” subjects) alongside a more rigorous curriculum - geography, Latin, chemistry, etc. At some, sewing was also always accompanied by serious reading and discussion. (And it would often be done while someone read aloud or made conversation later in life, too.)

Once done with their education, women generally didn’t bother with purely decorative work. Some things that fabric could be embroidered for included:

Jackets 

Bed coverings and bedcurtains

Collars and undersleeves 

Pelerines 

Neck handkerchiefs and sleeve ruffles 

Screens

Upholstery

Handkerchiefs

Purses, wallets, and reticules

Boxes

Book covers

Plus other articles of clothing like waistcoats, caps, slippers, gown hems, chemises, etc. Women’s magazines of the nineteenth century often gave patterns and alphabets for personal use.

(Not to mention late nineteenth century female artists who worked in embroidery, but that’s something else.)

You could purchase all of these pre-embroidered, but many, many women chose to do it themselves. There are a number of reasons why: maybe they wanted something to do, maybe they felt like they should be doing needlework for moral/gender reasons, maybe they couldn’t afford to buy anything - and maybe they enjoyed it or wanted to give something they made to a person they loved. That firescreen above was embroidered by Marie Antoinette, someone who had any number of other activities to choose from. It’s no different than people today who like to knit their own hats and gloves or bake their own bread, except that it was way more mainstream.

embroidery patterns from Ackermann’s Repository in 1827 - they could be used on dresses, collars, handkerchiefs, etc.

Second: needlework wasn’t the only “useless” thing women were expected to do

Ignoring the bulk of point one for now and the value of embroidery - I mentioned “ornamental subjects” above. As many people know, young women of the upper and middle classes were expected to be “accomplished” in order to be seen as marriageable. This could include skills like embroidery, drawing, painting, singing, playing the piano (as well as other instruments, like the harp or the mandolin), speaking French (if not also Italian and/or German), as well as broader knowledge and abilities like being well-versed in music, literature, and poetry, dancing and walking gracefully, writing good letters in an elegant hand, and being able to read out loud expressively and smoothly.

This wasn’t a checklist. As the famous discussion in Pride and Prejudice shows, individuals could have different views on what actually made a woman accomplished:

“How I long to see her again! I never met with anybody who delighted me so much. Such a countenance, such manners! And so extremely accomplished for her age! Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite.”

“It is amazing to me,” said Bingley, “how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are.”

“All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?”

“Yes, all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover screens, and net purses. I scarcely know anyone who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.”

“Your list of the common extent of accomplishments,” said Darcy, “has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half-a-dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.”

“Nor I, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley.

“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”

“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Mr. Bingley feels that a woman is accomplished if she has the ability to do a number of different arts and crafts. Miss Bingley feels (or says she feels) that it goes beyond specific skills and into branches of artistic attainment, plus broader personal qualities that could be imparted by well-bred governesses or mothers. And Mr. Darcy, of course, agrees with that but adds an academic angle as well.

But what ties all of these accomplishments together is their lack of value on the labor market. A woman could earn a living with any one accomplishment, if she worked hard enough at it to become a professional, but young ladies weren’t supposed to be professional-level good because they by definition weren’t going to earn a living. All together, they trained a woman for the social and domestic role of a married woman of the upper middle or upper class, or, if she couldn’t get married, a governess or teacher who would share her accomplishments with the next generation.

(To be fair, almost none of the trappings of an upper-middle/upper class male education had anything to do with the kind of career training that college frequently is today, either. Men were educated to know the cultural touchpoints of their class and fit in with their peers.)

There are reasons that an individual person/character might specifically object to embroidery, but it was far from the only “useless” thing that an unconventional heroine would be required to do against her inclination by her conventional mother/grandmother/aunt/chaperone. Embroidery stands out to modern audiences because most of the other accomplishments are now valued as gender-neutral arts and skills.

“The Embroidery Frame”, by Mathilde Weil, ca. 1900 (LOC 98501309)

So, some thoughts for writers of historical fiction (or fantasy that’s supposed to be just like the 19th/18th/17th/etc century):

- If your heroine doesn’t like embroidery, she probably doesn’t like a number of other things she’s expected to do. Don’t pull out embroidery as either more expected or more onerous than them. Does she hate to sit still? I’d imagine she also dislikes drawing and practicing the piano. Would she prefer to do academic subjects? She probably also resents learning French instead of Latin, and music and dancing. Does she hate enforced femininity? Then she’d most likely have a problem with all of the accomplishments.

- If your heroine just and specifically doesn’t like embroidery, try to show in the narrative that that’s not because it’s objectively bad, and only able to be liked by the boring. Have another sympathetic character do it while talking to the heroine. Note that the hero carries a flame-stitched wallet that’s his sister’s work. Emphasize the heroine’s emotional connection to her deceased or absent mother through her affection for clothing or upholstery that her mother embroidered - or through a mourning picture commemorating her. There are all kinds of things you can do to show that it’s a personal preference rather than a stupid craft that doesn’t take talent and skill!

mourning picture for Daniel Goodman, probably embroidered by a Miss Goodman, 1803 (MMA 56.66)

[ampintherain]

I’m Yours:

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Chapter III

Y/N is Kenny Ortega’s ‘niece’ after going through a rough breakup, Kenny decides to fly her over to stay with him, will her broken heart mend?

(Female Reader, NO SMUT, Romance, Friendship, THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC/IMAGINE, I hope it’s good, Kenny is lifelong family friend so reader calls him Uncle Kenny. I’m British so the writing is going to be British so like ‘mum’ not ‘mom’ yanno?)

(Y/n/n- your nickname. Y/e/c- your eye colour. Y/h/c- your hair colour.)

This part is going to be in Y/n’s and Charlie’s POV.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

-“I’m Charlie” he replied, “nice to meet you” he smiled back at me-

Y/N

“So you’re his niece?” I smiled at the question that Jeremy had just asked me,

“Technically no, like my Uncle Kenny said, he’s not my blood relative but I grew up calling him my uncle and it stuck, he’s my favourite person ever, I talk to him more than my own parents” I admitted,

“So... if you don’t mind my asking, why did Kenny fly you out to Vancouver?” Savannah asked, I shrugged, “you don’t need to answer, it was quite forward” she mumbled,

“No! No, it’s fine, I haven’t seen Kenny for a few months and we missed each other a lot but my mum told Kenny about my ex and I guess he decided to fly me over and cheer me up” I smiled at the girl, she pouted slightly, hearing the tint of sadness laced in my voice, I saw Madison look at me sympathetically but it wasn’t patronising, which is something I loved, I saw the confusion at the mention of ex but I decided to ignore it, I felt like it wasn’t necessary to tell a bunch of people I’ve just met about the 13 month long relationship that my boyfriend deemed acceptable to have during his one with myself.

“Right guys, are we ready?” Kenny asked as he strolled into the tent happily, coming up to me and placing his hands gently on my shoulder, “you alright my little Sun?” He questioned, looking down at me, I looked up and nodded,

“I am indeed Kenneth” I smiled and slid up off the bench, Owen following after me, dipping his head down to whisper in my ear

“Kenneth?” I shushed him, giggling, “I love it” he used my shoulders as a support whilst he jumped up in the air,

“Shush, shush, Owen no! You can’t, Uncle Ken will kill me, he hates it” I reasoned with him, turning around to face Owen as we walked together, me walking backwards.

“But I love it... Y/n, you can’t say the name Kenneth and expect me not to do anything” Owen chuckled, i scrunched my nose at him, “y’know Y/n, I think we’re going to be great friends” he continued, tucking me up under his arm, “besties even”

“Ew, don’t say besties” I laughed, Charlie slowed down on his way to the set, stopping beside Owen and I,

“Is he creeping you out?” Charlie teased, nudging Owen, causing him to roll his eyes,

“Ugh as if, am I Y/n? I’m not am I?” I shook my head and smiled up at the boy beside me, “see? Charles, I told you” Owen stuck his tongue out at Charlie and walked quickly away from him in a strop, leaving me behind with Charlie,

“Hi” Charlie said simply, I looked up at him and nodded, smiling.

“Hi” I mirrored, Charlie smirked at me and stared at me, “what?” I questioned, Charlie shook his head, laughing slightly,

“Nothing, nothing” he repeated himself, saying the first ‘nothing’ quietly, almost to himself, “so uh, what’re you gonna do on set?” Charlie questioned,

“Oh I’m helping him direct, Kenny taught me everything I know, he’s the only one that supported me through everything- my family really hate the fact that I have a love for acting, singing, dancing and directing but Uncle Kenny always inspired me and pushed me to do my best” I explained,

“Oh you’re going to be bossing us around are you?” Charlie joked, winking at me, I nodded happily,

“Yes I am, and I’m going to have a fun time doing it too” I responded, “come on” I said, tapping Charlie’s forearm lightly to encourage him to walk faster with me to catch up with everybody, Kenny watched as Charlie and I came closer to view, he smiled yet he had a suspicious glint in his eyes, and if I knew my Uncle Kenny as much as I thought I did, I’d believe that he was up to something. “Sorry Uncle Kenny” I apologised coming up to stand beside him,

“No need to apologise darling,” Kenny simply replied “ready to get to work?” He questioned, I nodded and Kenny wandered over to the cast, requesting Madison, Savannah and Jadah, he was about to film the scene where we first meet Savannah’s character ‘Carrie.’ Kenny sent Booboo home as he was only called in for a briefing and script changes whilst Tori and Sacha went to the resting tent, Tori wanted to go through some of her choreography ideas and Sacha wanted to go through his lines.

I moved away from the set and sat in Uncle Jenny’s seat that had ‘Director��� written on the back, “alright boss?” I heard someone whisper from behind me, I turned around slightly to see Charlie leaning in close,

“I’m alright, how’re you?” I asked, “all of you” I continued, looking at Jeremy and Owen who were stood behind Charlie, they all smiled at me and took their scripts out from their back pockets,

“We’re great” they all said, moving to sit in their seats and beginning to read through their lines together, “so you’re gonna help direct huh?” Jeremy asked, peering up from his script to look at me,

“Yeah, I love directing and Kenny used to come to the shows I directed back in high school” I explained, “he said I was his ‘biggest inspiration’ because he thought that I could direct anything from thrillers to love stories to comedies”

“She is,” Kenny spoke up, as he had finished going through the basics with Savannah, Madison and Jadah, “I’m her biggest fan” he laughed, “right, silence on set” Kenny ordered to the crew behind the camera, they began filming, the talent that the three girls had was absolutely incredible, however, my ‘director’ brain came into play and I began to pick out things that I thought I could change, I wandered over to Kenny and took the script he had in his pocket along with a pen and began to jot down some ideas as soon as I got back into my seat.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

I watched as Y/n scribbled in the script she had taken from Kenny, it amazed me how she had so many thoughts and ideas and wanted to put them all into effect, she was incredible. “You alright there Boss?” I questioned in a quiet tone, Y/n looked up at me with her y/e/c eyes and smiled, nodding.

“Hm? Yeah I’m okay” she said, not taking her eyes off of the script resting on her lap, I watched as Owen tapped Y/n on her shoulder,

“Whatcha working on?” He questioned, in a low whisper, “ideas for the scene?” He continued, Y/n nodded and showed him the script,

“Uh... yeah, they’re a bit rough... what do you think?” She asked nervously, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands, Owen read through the ideas, using his finger as a pointer to direct him through the scribbled notes on the page.

“They seem amazing” he said honestly, Jeremy had caught attention to what Y/n and Owen were doing, now becoming intrigued on the situation alongside myself, “Y/n has been busy coming up with ideas... show them, they won’t judge” Owen said, i heard the low whisper of the last part that he said directly to her, even I could feel her being slightly anxious about showing more people her ideas, she twisted her mouth slightly before biting her lip,

“Hey, I bet you they’re so good” I reassured, resting my hand on her arm, I heard as she took a sharp breath in, she turned to look behind her and beckoned Jeremy over, he smiled widely and jumped off of his seat, skipping jokingly over to her which caused her to stifle a giggle, she nodded her head towards herself for me to come over as well, Jeremy and I had formed a huddle around Y/n as she showed us her ideas,

“Y/n, these are really good!” Jeremy beamed, looking down at the girl sat in the director’s seat, he handed me the script for me to read through, Owen and Jeremy were right, although the notes were focusing on the small details of the scene, I could see how it would improve it, she had an eye for the smaller things, an eye for detail and that was something that not everyone could obtain.

“I agree, why don’t you show Kenny these?” I questioned, Y/n shrugged slightly, still unsure of his blatant talent, she consistently tugged on the oversized sleeves of her hoodie and brought her hands up close to her face, rubbing the fabric over her nose as she scrunched her face out of confusion and possible anxiety.

“Oh I don’t know” she trailed off, I tilted my head and smirked at her, “what?” She questioned, smiling half heartedly,

“Kenny!” I exclaimed, as soon as they stopped filming the scene, “Kenny, come here” I beckoned him over, Kenny told Sav, Mads and Jay to take 10 as he came over to us, Jeremy and I stepped to the side to reveal Y/n, who had now stood up,

“Wassup guys?” Kenny asked, his voice filled with concern, he scanned over Y/n’s face, “has he said anything to you?” Kenny questioned, Owen, Jeremy and I all looked at each other in confusion,

“Has who messaged her?” Owen asked, Y/n shook her head at the subject, waving Owen off,

“Nobody, and no, Uncle Kenny, he hasn’t...” she trailed off,

“No, she has some ideas for the scene and I think they’d really work” I said, Y/n nodded as Kenny tilted his head at her, she walked forward and handed Kenny the script she had stolen from him not so long ago,

“Ah so that’s where my script went” Kenny joked, looking through the ideas written on the script “yeah... yeah okay” he said loudly, “right, my little star, you ready to put these into action?” Kenny questioned, rubbing his hands together, Y/n began to stutter over her words, I placed my hands on her shoulders and leant down to whisper in her ear,

“You’ve got this Angel” I said, the pet name slipping out, she looked at me and smiled,

“Sav, Mads, Jay- you ready?” Kenny questioned, the girls nodded and ran over to set, “come on Star” he smiled, wrapping his arms around Y/n and ushering her over to set with him.

“Angel huh?” Jeremy asked, winking at me,

“Oh shut it” I retorted, hitting jumping on Jeremy’s back, Owen bundled on top of me,

“Charlie’s got a crush” he teased, I rolled my eyes.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

I walked over to the three girls and spoke them through my ideas, “Jadah, Madison, I think instead of seeing each other and walking down the hall together, maybe Julie could walk to her locker on her own, with her head down and after looking through her locker she closes the door and there’s Flynn. It would show a contrast between the two at the moment, yanno, Julie’s still upset about her mum and there’s Flynn who’s trying to cheer her up” I explained, the two girls smiled, “Savannah, I think what you were doing is great but instead of having a drastic change in attitude you should be more passive aggressive towards Flynn” I said, turning to the girl next to me.

“You were right Ken, she is good” Savannah complimented, Kenny smiled proudly and gave me a tight hug before walking off set with me, I saw Charlie, Owen and Jeremy standing there with their thumbs up at me, I mirrored the motion and laughed before turning back to the set,

“Right, quiet on set please... everybody ready?” The girls all nodded whilst the three boys quietened down, “action” Kenny said, we watched as the adapted scene played out, Kenny kept hugging me into him and repeating how proud he was of me, “and cut! Well done girls and well done you” Uncle Kenny smiled and hugged me again,

“Okay okay, enough with the hugs” I joked, wriggling out of his hold, “was it okay? The scene?” I questioned, Madison came running up behind me and hugged me from behind,

“It was amazing, I loved it” she beamed, spinning me around to look at her, “you’re talented Y/n” she continued,

“So talented!” Jadah called as she ran up to the group, with Savannah. The three boys came up behind me.

“You did me proud Star” Uncle Kenny beamed, I could hear a waver in his voice as I looked up at him, I saw him wiping a tear away,

“Oh Uncle Kenny” I cooed, “what’re you crying for?” The cast aw’ed behind me as they pulled him and I in for a group hug,

“It’s just, Y/n, I’ve never seen you in action before, I’ve seen the product of it but never the making” Kenny said, I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Guys! I have an idea” Tori’s voice rang through the group as we separated, “karaoke. Tonight?” She suggested and Sacha came up too,

“I’m down” Sacha said, eagerly, the rest of the group nodded, even Kenny

“Um, I think I’ll stay home, I’m not too big on” I said but was quickly cut off by Owen,

“She’s coming, she’s definitely coming” he said, resting his chin on top of my head, “please” he begged me, “please please please” he repeated, the rest of the cast joined in with the begging, Charlie and Jeremy taking it as far as to get on their knees, Kenny gently tugged me near him,

“Come on Y/n/n, you need this, you know you do” he said loud enough for me to hear,

“Oh fine! Fine okay! I’ll come” I rolled my eyes jokingly, Madison pulled me to her by my arm,

“I want to duet with Y/n first!” She screamed,

“I’m awful at singing...” I trailed off, Kenny instantly refuting that statement, saying that I had, and I quote ‘a voice of an angel’ we continued going through all of the scenes that Kenny wanted to go through that day, I had him coming up to me asking for suggestions on scene improvements and developments.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

“God I am so tired!” Owen whined, just as we finished the last scene of the day, putting all of his weight on me, I grunted at the sudden added weight before bending down and lifting Owen up onto my back “ah... this, this is nice” Owen sighed in delight as I lugged him on my back, walking towards our trailers, I watched as Y/n walked ahead with Savannah, the two had managed to become very close throughout the day, Savannah came up to Y/n anytime she wasn’t needed on set, they sat and talked for ages.

“Well tomorrow we have to film the hot dog scene” Jeremy said, “and that will probably take us hours” his voice dragging as he thought of how long it would take to film, I laughed and waved Jeremy off as he entered his trailer, I adjusted the weight that was Owen on my back before walking a little bit further, dropping Owen off at his trailer,

“Here you are your majesty” I joked, bowing sarcastically towards Owen, causing him to smack the back of my head, “and that’s the thanks I get for carrying you” I rubbed the area that Owen had just hit and turned on my heels to walk to my trailer that was just across from him.

I entered my trailer and hung my costume up on the rail, I jumped into the cold shower and washed off the sweat that had been building up throughout the day, I then changed into jeans and a t-shirt, pulling on my boots before leaving my trailer, I spotted Owen and Jeremy already dressed and leaving their trailers so I caught up with them and walked with them out of the filming lot.

“You took your time” Madison jokingly complained, resting her head on Y/n’s shoulder, Y/n giggled before quickly pulling her hair up into a high ponytail,

“So, guys! I have a whole karaoke set up at my apartment, if you guys come over for 9?” Tori asked, the rest of us nodded in agreement, Madison and her dad, Mr Reyes, walked away, bidding farewell to everyone, Sav was giggling and joking with Y/n before she took Jadah and Sacha away to drive them home,

“Bye Y/n/n!” Sav called, after giving Y/n a hug, the girl waved to Sav,

“Bye! Bye Jadah, bye Sacha!” She smiled, she turned to the boys and I, having Kenny behind her,

“So you are coming later?” I asked Y/n, she nodded and smiled,

“Uncle Kenny won’t have it any other way” she joked, “so... I’ll see you all in a few hours?” She questioned, causing Jer, O and I to all nod, “okay... we’ll see you later” she smiled, walking away with Kenny,

“Oh! Y/n!” I called out, gaining a sudden burst of confidence, she turned around and tilted her head in a silent question, “after your duet with Mads and your duet with Sav... do you think you’ll have time to fit me in for one?”

“Yeah! Sure... why not?” She laughed before turning back around and running after Kenny who had continued to walk towards the car, I bounced on my feet happily,

“Cool” I mumbled to myself, “Owen, you ready?” I asked, spinning my car keys on my finger as I turned around, Owen and Jeremy were looking at me suspiciously, “what?” I questioned.

“I think you know what” Jeremy said in an obvious tone,

“You like that girl!” Owen exclaimed,

“Pfft, what?! No! I just met her...” I trailed off, it was true. I did just meet her, but that still didn’t mean that I couldn’t of liked her in the amount of hours she was around, I mean from 8am to 6pm... could I have fallen for her in that time? Surely not.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

The time to go to Tori’s had finally come around, I had changed into a causal shirt and jeans, just so I didn’t feel overly formal, “so what duet are you thinking about doing with Y/n?” Owen asked as we got into the car.

“I don’t know... it’s just a silly duet O” I reasoned, beginning to drive over to Tori’s apartment.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

Uncle Kenny parked up his car and we began to make our way up to Tori’s apartment, “so you’re singing with Charlie?” Kenny asked,

“Yeah, and Madison and Savannah” I replied, “and Madison is singing with Charlie and so is Owen and Jeremy” Kenny looked at me in agreement and knocked on Tori’s front door,

“Hi! Come in! Come in!” She said cheerily as she stepped to the side to allow us in, as we entered, Savannah came rushing up to me, embracing me in a quick hug, then came Mads and Jadah who joined in on the group hug, “wait! Wait!” Tori whined as I heard her feet pat towards the group, quickly flying her arms around the group, “I love group hugs” she sighed in content, as the group quickly dispersed I was greeted with Jeremy, Owen and Charlie

“Sacha and Booboo couldn’t make it in the end” Savannah announced, pouting at the sad news, “also why didn’t you boys join in on the hug?” She sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest,

“Because...” Owen started as he and the boys stood up “we wanted one of our own” the three boys ran towards me and engulfed me in yet another group hug,

“Okay” I said, “okay guys” I laughed wriggling out of the hug, “I swear, I’ve never had this many hugs in my life” I joked as Owen ushered me over to sit next to him on the couch, Kenny wandered over and sat at the kitchen island drinking a glass of water.

Tori began to set up the karaoke machine whilst everyone was talking amongst one another, “so did you enjoy your first day on set?” Owen asked me,

“Oh yeah, it was great, I was really nervous, I didn’t want to mess anything up” I admitted,

“You were great” I heard a voice say, I turned to see Charlie moving to sit next to me just as Savannah got up to get a drink with Jadah, “honestly, you were amazing, a real natural” I blushed at his words and thanked him, “you excited for our duet?” Charlie asked, nudging me slightly,

“Yeah, I’m nervous though... I don’t really sing in front of people” I said just as Mads called me up to sing with her,

B

“We are singing Dynamite” Madison announced just as the song began to play, Mads and I started singing,

‘I came to dance, dance, dance, dance’ Madison started, holding my free hand and dancing with me,

‘I hit the floor cuz that’s my plans, plans, plans, plans’ I joined in, “oh okay girl!” Tori cheered causing me to laugh as Madison continued on.

The song soon came to an end and Madison and I jokingly bowed and Savannah came running up to sing our duet, “well that was amazing girls but now it’s my turn to sing with Y/n/n” she giggled, Madison rolled her eyes and wandered off the stage, sitting next to Kenny,

“What are we singing Sav?” I questioned, she smirked at me and whispered the song choice in my ear, “I love it... okay” the song began to play-

‘Eenie meenie miney mo, catch a bad chick by her toe’ Sav started rapping, ‘if she holla, if-if she holla, let her go’ she pointed over to me, signalling me to sing,

‘She’s indecisive, she can’t decide, she keeps on looking’ Sav then interjected,

‘From left to right, girl come a bit closer, look in my eyes’ we started dancing and laughing whilst the song continued, hardly managing to get through the song fully without bursting into fits of laughter. Once the song had finished, I went to walk away to sit on the sofa before being gently pushed back by Charlie,

“Uh you said you’d sing with me” he smiled at me, “and we are singing a lovely song called No Air”

“I love that song” I admitted as we walked back over and picked up the karaoke mics, ‘No Air’ started to play, Charlie turned to look at me as we sang the first part together.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

I held onto Y/n’s free hand as we sang, I kept smiling down at her. The song soon came to an end, I let go on Y/n’s hand and felt heat creep onto my cheeks, I’m blushing... I never blush. I thought to myself, looking back down at the girl beside me, she lowered her head and walked away to sit next Owen, I watched as he nudged her lightly and she laughed at what he was saying to her, I waited a while before sitting back down on the couch sitting next to Madison, “you like her” she stated, not even looking at me,

“I- I don’t” I stuttered, Madison rolled her eyes and hummed at me, clearly not convinced, “I just met her”

“Listen, you can like someone from the first day, it’s not like there’s a handbook to this kinda stuff” she explained, she wasn’t wrong, the way you feel towards someone can change from person to person and this has to be the quickest I’ve ever liked someone, I knew it from the moment she walked in, she had this beautiful y/h/c hair and these glimmering eyes, she had one of the kindest faces I’ve ever seen, her features were soft yet chiselled, her lips were plump and when she looked at me, I could easily get lost. She was mesmerising... and I had fallen, quick.

💜thanks for reading!💜

♡︎𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 : @thesweetestsinner , @ifilwtmfc , @ashleyleblancx , @chloepart03 ♡︎

[auroras-blend]

Road Trip

Bonus Chapter from Leo's POV where he takes Vittoria on a 10-hour car ride to Rome for a vacation. Basically, he's stuck in a car with an eight-year-old for 10+ hours.

Leonardo Borghese was a patient man and prided himself on his ability to stay calm in tense situations. He wore a mask that most artists could only dream of modeling, but his facade was quickly crumbling in the second hour of the ten-hour car ride. “Are we there yet?” asked Vittoria for the sixth time in the last hour.

“No, not yet principessa. Not for a while,” he groaned, looking at the car’s clock, “Eight more hours.”

He had promised to take her to Rome, his birthplace, months ago and now he, unfortunately, had to make good on that promise. Vittoria had seemed tired when she entered the car at four in the morning (she hadn't even had a panic attack), which is why he had forgone giving her Nyquil, but apparently, she had a burst of energy ten minutes into their ride. Apparently, the panic attack had been delayed and she spent the first hour crying and praying, before finally settling down into a conversation. Every single car ride. Whoever killed Giuseppe and traumatized his daughter would pay dearly, especially considering getting her to church was always a two-hour-long affair if he added in the time for trying to get her into the car.

The past two hours had been hell for him and he had eight more to go. Eight was optimistic given his daughter’s small bladder.

Leonardo Borghese didn’t like being in a small shared space with a prattling person. His cellmate hadn’t been as aggravating as Franco, and dear God he’d say it, Franco wasn't as aggravating as Vittoria was right now. “Why don’t you try and go to sleep?”

“I’m not tired!” she said brightly, before rapidly firing a line of questions at him, “How far is Rome? Do we still get to see gladiators fight? What about the lions? Will they have lions?”

“Far enough,” he breathed, “No, we won’t see gladiators fight and there are no lions.”

“They should have lions,” she quipped, “Did you know they had women, gladiators? I don’t think I’d like to be a gladiator, because I don’t like blood. Minerva was a war goddess and she was smart. I read about her in my book, but she’s not my favorite. Do you know who my favorite is Papa?”

Oh, God. “Who is it Vittoria?” he asked, trying to keep a smile in his voice.

“Venus and Diana. I like Venus cause she's the goddess of love and beauty. I play Venus a lot because I’m pretty. Did you know the planet’s named after her?” she asked, not giving him a chance to reply, “And then there’s Diana because she’s the goddess of the moon. She doesn’t date icky boys and turns them into deers! I’d like to do that!”

How am I going to do this for another nine hours? “Who’s your favorite Roman god, Papa? I bet I can guess! Is it Jupiter? Because he’s the king! Did you know a planet is named after him too? It's the biggest one! You're really big, Papa! Did you know I know all the names of the planets now because I remember the Roman gods and goddesses? Sg.na Sagesse taught me a song. I’ll show you!”

This is hell. Vittoria began singing along to the tune, Michael Finnegan: “There are nine planets around the sun, let me name them one by one…”

Can I mute her? “There’s Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars, they have super pretty stars!”

Leonardo was gritting his teeth and focusing on the road. She’ll fall asleep eventually. “Then there’s Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune but wait one moment we’re not done with this tune!”

Why can’t we be done? “Stop right there, please don’t go, make some room for Pluto! There are nine planets around the sun, now you can name them one by one!”

Leonardo gave a fake gasp. “That’s incredible principessa! You’re such a smart girl,” he praised as he watched a proud blush rise to her cheeks.

“Really?”

“Of course! I could never memorize that song like you can,” he said, unknowingly damning himself.

Vittoria gasped. “Oh Papa, don’t say that! You can! I can teach you!”

Shit. “Oh, it’s okay principessa,” he tried to quickly say before she began singing the song again.

***

He considered himself a saint for not snapping at her. Vittoria had sung the planet song close to thirty times before he finally got the hang of it, or at least until she passed out. He knew the song now. There are nine planets around the sun, let me name them one by one… Those damn lyrics were stuck in his head and he couldn't even drown it out with the radio unless he wanted to risk waking Vittoria. Leonardo looked at the clock...seven hours to go...make some room for Pluto...Leonardo sighed at the long road ahead.

***

They had made six pit stops in the last two hours because Vittoria had the smallest bladder. At the sixth stop, they decided to get lunch where he ordered a light meal but allowed her to order a pizza with a glass of milk, even though she begged for a soda. There was no way he’d make that mistake. Vittoria was incredibly chatty with the waitresses, telling them that they were going to Rome and everything they’d see. She could give Franco a run for his money.

“But all the Roman gods are there! Did you know that, Papa? I want to go to the Pantseon first. That’s my very favorite place!” she squealed.

As exhausted and annoyed as he was, he did smile at her excitement. He had been worried that his eight-year-old would be bored out of her mind and would throw an embarrassing tantrum at the museum, but she wasn’t. She’s an academic, just like her father. “Pantheon,” he corrected.

“Oh right! Anyway…” she continued.

Leonardo let himself enjoy the moment and memories he was making with his daughter. He knew she probably didn’t get to go on any road trips when she lived with her mother, and seeing her excited about her first-ever vacation was endearing. Especially when he was the one giving her her first-ever vacation because he had missed so many firsts. She stole those precious moments from me, he thought hatefully. But he had the rest of their lives to be the only one who gave her those special memories.

He had wanted this, a perfect daughter to spoil and who would worship the ground he walked on, but when he had wished for it he hadn’t imagined that he’d be raising her alone. A proper family vacation would have been with a wife and a car full of children, though now that he was in a car with just one child for the past several hours, he was content to keep the number down for the time being. It was a lot of work just caring for her by himself, not that he was incapable, mind you, but he took great joy in being called a “selfless single father” by those around him. Leonardo knew full well that if he were a woman, the words used to describe him would be derogatory.

He could tell the stigma that Vittoria carried around with her when she was raised in the States haunted her. The names she had been called, people refusing to play with her...he truly was, in his mind, the best thing to ever happen to her. He told himself he was acting in her best interest when he took her to Italy to live with him, after all, it's my right, and that he gave her everything she ever wanted and needed. She seemed far better off now than she did then, well with a sprinkle of a few traumatic events, but details, details.

“Are you happy, then?” he asked.

She nodded as her cheeks puffed out with a large bite of pizza. “Slow down,” he said when he saw her trying to swallow quickly so she could speak again.

He didn’t want her to choke. “But then we have to go to our garden and art museum!”

Vittoria was convinced that Villa Borghese and the Borghese Gallery and Museum were their family’s museum and that it only made sense because they were both artists. He let her entertain that notion. Leonardo, contrary to his nature, let his daughter lead the conversation, mainly because he didn't have the energy to contribute. Another three to four hours seemed impossible, but there was still enough daylight for them to use, and they had to check-in at five o’clock. “I can’t wait to be in Rome! We have to take super lots of pictures!” she grinned.

“We’ll take plenty of pictures,” he smiled back.

“You were born there, right Papa?”

“Yes, I was born in Rome,” he smiled.

“I wish I was born in Rome. I was born in stupid Idaho,” she frowned, “That’s a state.”

Idaho, in his opinion, was an ordinary state with unremarkable people. Not fit for Vittoria. When he had visited Rome a while ago, he had changed her birthplace to Rome to better suit her. She wasn’t an ordinary child. “Did you not like Idaho?” he asked, already knowing her answer.

“No. It was boring and the people were mean. I had to do a report on it and people like us because we grow potatoes, but that’s it,” her frown was set for a moment before she broke out into a smile, “My report was the bestest! I always make my first letters capitals and add periods. I’m the only second-grader who remembers!”

“Of course you are. I bet you were the best writer in your class,” he praised.

He had seen her writing samples, and even when she wrote an argumentative piece about throwing Charles to the tigers, her work was still fairly impressive. Writing seemed to be one of her strengths, which was reassuring given that math and reading were not. “I was! I always got gold stars! Mr. Morgan never gave them to Rodney, because he’s a bad writer!” she said the last part with a smug look on her face that she inherited from her father.

Leonardo had begun to notice the striking similarities they shared in their mannerisms and expressions. The way she slipped on her “happy mask” as she called it and the way she forced her eyes to soften when she wanted sympathy over a pointless tantrum. Vittoria was learning to play the game he had set, practiced, and perfected. She’ll never win, but it’s sweet to see her try.

He indulged her with ice cream before they headed back out into the car and onto the road for another few hours of hell. And it was hell. He had created a car ride bag for her, which he praised himself for making, that he had filled with crayons, paper, coloring books, storybooks, a blanket, and snacks that wouldn’t leave crumbs. He swore by it, finding solutions for the “I’m hungry” and “I’m bored” complaints that he insisted other parents adopt as if they hadn’t already thought of that before, because even though he called it a “car ride bag”, it was most certainly a “dad bag” that was a staple of fatherhood.

Leonardo thought it was one of the greatest things he had ever thought of, but he quickly regretted it when Vittoria pulled something out that he hadn’t even known she’d snuck in. She always claimed it helped her calm down. His shoulders tensed when he heard the tune of the London Bridge begin to play. “Is that your music box?” he asked, not bothering to turn around.

“Mm-hm,” she hummed before she began to sing quietly under her breath.

I’m going to kill Signora Bianchi. He looked at her through the rear-view mirror and saw her begin to color in her coloring book of a Greek garden, a pleasant smile on her face as she whispered the lyrics. It was only a few ear grating moments before the tune ended and even fewer moments in between her cranking it up again. Why am I being punished? “Principessa, I’m going to turn on the radio,” he said, reaching for the knob.

“You can’t!”

“Why not?” he sighed with irritation.

“This is my artist music!”

Of course, it is, he thought dryly. “Vittoria-,”

“I promise only for this page!” she swore, “Cross my heart!”

It was his fault. He refused to admit it, but it was his fault for believing her words and letting her play the song. Vittoria was a child who took her sweet old time with her art, so it was hours (twenty minutes) until she was finished with her masterpiece. “And done!”

“Thank Christ,” he muttered under his breath, “I’m turning on the radio now, okay?”

Anything to drown out that godforsaken tune in my head. And for a while, he was blessed with just the music as Vittoria fell into a post-lunch nap. Thank you, God. It seemed the Lord was shining on him because they were less than five minutes out without any problems. We’ll make it there and- “Papa, I feel sick,” Vittoria croaked.

No. His eyes met the small figure behind the rear-view mirror. She was hunched over, clutching her belly, and her face had gone ashy. He had to stop himself from insensitively saying, don’t throw up in the car! The hotel was right in front of them, all we have to do is make it. “Just hold on, a few moments and-,” as he made a sharp turn into the parking lot, the jolt caused her to unleash whatever was in her stomach.

The sound of her hurling was as sickening as the smell of pizza, milk, and ice cream that had been poorly dissolved by her stomach acid which also made an appearance. The sight of it nearly made him throw up, but he was better than that. He had finished parking by the time she had finished expelling her lunch from her stomach. Leonardo gave a shaky sigh as he heard Vittoria start to cry, apologizing furiously. He got out of the car and stretched his legs outside as he hurried over to her door, not taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air. “I’m-I’m sorry, Papa!”

He quickly unbuckled her from her seat belt and pulled her out of the car and settled her on his hip. He wasn’t his father, he wasn’t cruel enough to think that she could’ve controlled it, and he certainly wouldn’t punish her by making her eat it. His chest tightened just a fraction of a second remembering what he was put through, before focusing on the moment he was in. She’s just my fragile little girl. She can't help it. He knew that now, of all times, was an important reminder for her to know that he was the better parent. The one who is her favorite and who loves her most. “I know, I know you didn’t mean it,” he whispered as he felt her head.

A little warm, but she probably just got car sick. He forced his eyes to assess the damage, which was very little considering she aimed incredibly well into the bag. “Oh thank God,” he sighed before frowning.

Of course, that music box is left untouched. Of course, it is! With the exception of a few specks on the leather that could easily be wiped off and the smell that could easily be remedied by airing the car out, there was no damage whatsoever. He had been terrified that she had thrown up on the carpet that he just had cleaned. The mess was quickly taken care of and the bag was thrown out because they could just buy newer and better items later. The check-in process was swift and he wasted no time getting her into the hotel room and washing her off before putting her back in bed. Vittoria was moaning and groaning against the pillows as if she were a Victorian woman on her deathbed. He didn't know whether to roll his eyes or smile. She’s incredibly dramatic. “Thank you,” she said softly, her eyes vulnerable and wide, “For taking care of me.”

“It’s what fathers do,” he said, having her sip a cool glass of water to soothe her burning throat.

“I had fun,” she smiled.

He climbed into the bed next to her and let her lean against him, “You did?”

He had received absolutely no enjoyment in that car ride whatsoever and thought for all intents and purposes that it was a failure. “Uh-huh, except throwing up. I didn't like that,” she gave a weak laugh, “But I had fun with you.”

It occurred to him that he hadn’t snapped at her when he was annoyed, let her talk about things she was interested in, and do things that she enjoyed. Her mother was an irritable and unstable woman who probably would have already yelled at her ten minutes (he was being gracious with that number) into the drive, before breaking down herself. Who would’ve been furious at Vittoria for throwing up in the car and who would cause her to break down into uncontrollable sobs. Leonardo felt overwhelmingly smug that she had a great time with him and that he was the one who made her smile. “I had fun with you too,” he grinned.

Vittoria snuggled against him before falling fast asleep. She’s such a good sleeper. Vittoria’s breathing became soft and suddenly his breaths started to match hers, as his exhaustion caught up to him and lured him into a deep slumber. He had suffered, but she had smiled. And he had made her smile, and in his mind, that was all that mattered.

[howtotrainyouragents]

Things I Noticed in the Hamilton Film

Soooo, I was supposed to have posted this last year when the film first dropped, and I forgot...

Anywayyyy, things that were new, from the album, or was obvious to everyone but me. This is literally just me listing details I loved for my own keepsake later on

I hope this film’s success (and the play’s hopeful continued success on stage), shows that Broadway plays can and should be filmed for everyone 

Lin Manuel Miranda is a brilliant writer, scriptwriter, musician, rapper, singer, and a genuinely lovely person, but I think my favorite part about him is his acting. He has such a pure naturalness and sincerity in his acting. He nails microexpressions/gestures and sometimes I forget that he’s acting

E.g., Lin’s devastation after Washington kicks him out 

There’s some songs I wondered what their purpose was, but watching it I understood. For example, Story of Tonight sets up the purpose of the revolution. Like, My Shot is Hamilton’s ‘I want’ song, but Story of Tonight is all of the revolutionaries ‘I want’ song, and that’s why it comes up again for Laurens and Hamilton at their ends

Samuel Seabury’s acting was gold

In Right Hand Man the way the backup stage/cast lights up as they sing ‘not throwing away my shot” and Hamilton agrees to work for Washington

The fact that Helpless ends with “You’ll be a new man” because Hamilton is still so obsessed with his own ascendency  

HOLY FUCK RENEE ELISE GOLDSBERRY

They way they start Satisfied, it’s like Angelica doesn’t know the true extent of her devastation until she gives her toast and says “satisfied���. Like, she knows what she’s done but she’s still thinks this is fine and this is for the best, and it’s not until this moment that the weight of it fully hits her. By the end of it, it’s like she’s barely holding it together for this toast

Towards the end of the song, Eliza kisses her cheek and Renee’s expression is like she’s about fall apart in that very moment from the sheer overwhelming joy and pain

So in Helpless when their talking about letters, Peggy does a cute random shimmy while handing Eliza the letter. But then in Satisfied we see that she’s doing the shimmy to the beat of Satisfied, meaning that she knows how Angelica feels and knows about the love triangle 

I’m trying really hard not to scream about the rewind of all the dance and action in Satisfaction but please know I am internally screaming about this forever. 

Almost forgot, Burr and Hamilton were friends at one point. Burr shows up for his wedding to wish him well :(

I wasn’t gonna scream that much here, but LESLIE ODOM JR. 

Leslie’s smile- amused and scoffing disbelief- when singing about Hamilton in Wait for it

Speaking of Wait for it, the way the whole cast is waiting on stage and the balconies as Burr sings. and the way the dancers shift to Hamilton’s direction when Burr talks about him 

Also the lighting creates boxes on the stages, like Burr is trapped. But then this reappears in Your Obedient Servant 

I never knew the lyrics were “This is commonplace, 'specially 'tween recruits” and not “’tween corps” in Ten Duel Commandments...makes more sense

I think there’s 10 people in that line up in Ten Commandments 

The way Stay Alive conflicts Hamilton’s precious notions of sacrifice, and forces him to shift his focus from dying to legacy

The mimic of the bullet in Stay Alive 

The way that Eliza is also so excited about the war and the scholars in The Schuyler Sisters and that excitement goes away after she has the actual risk of losing someone she loves because of the war 

Who’s the choreographer because DAMN (btw it’s Andy Blankenbuehler) 

Also the dancers lifting up other dancers for whole bars? Incredible

The way women are interwoven into the story of the war, singing the chorus and setting the scene and rejoicing with the soldiers at the end 

The fucking red lighting in Yorktown. Also, the shot in the song’s pause is one of the best shots in musical history. 

The fact that ‘black and white soldiers wonder alike if this really means freedom’ ‘not yet’ is a commentary on slavery and the line is said by Washington 

The brilliant way What Comes Next undercuts the gravitas of Yorktown . 

Also, King George loses more and more of his costume and moves around more as the show goes on. Also, blue lighting with “I’m feeling blue” hahaha

Lafayette and Hercules getting the same letter about Laurens + Hamilton’s sobbing. And Laurens’ singing ‘there will be more of us’, referring to the future generations who will fight and win abolition. 

Nonstop: 

Burr’s disgust while Hamilton rants. Hamilton’s pouting then childish glee at the beginning 

Burr stays at the bottom of the staircase after Hamilton climbs it. Also, Jefferson descends the staircase after Hamilton ascends it, indicating their statuses

The refrain of “How does a....” shows up in Nonstop as Burr’s “How do you write...” (other characters sing their own personal refrains but Burr sings this), and it’s like this ongoing, jealous, incredulous questioning of how Hamilton became so successful, and part of the answer of how he did it is that he doesn’t stop writing and working.

Regardless of which sister he ended up with, love was never gonna be enough for Hamilton

The way Daveed Diggs jumps and dances and dives across the stage in just about every song he’s in. The man truly deserved the Emmy 

Jefferson’s being surrounded by his slaves because he sucks 

Hamilton’s costume goes from white --> brown-->blue-->green-->black and someone with more color scheme expertise needs to dissect this for me please

The fact that even Burr peaces out when it comes to the affair, like, nope, this is too messed up even for me

An in-universe explanation as to why the Ten Duel Commandments and Phillip’s count is the same is that Hamilton’s killing (metaphorically and literally) in order to stay alive is a part of their family’s DNA.

Anthony Ramos is phenomenal at playing 9 years old then having to switch to 19

The fact that Phillip was probably so determined to defend his father is that this is after the Reynolds Pamphlet and everyone was humiliating and scorning Hamilton

The Room Where it Happened

Hamilton is like an apparation to him, and Burr is both scared and begging the ghost to reveal the truth

The fact that this song is a plot song and a ‘i want’ song and a villain song all at once. Also, the song picks up speed to signal the shift from historical recounting to ‘i want’ song

They replay the beginning where Jefferson/Madison call for Hamilton

Jefferson being the one to ask “Don’t you remember Lafayette”, and there’s like a slight change in his demeanor that’s more Lafayette then Jefferson 

Burr, Madison, and Jefferson discreetly talking to each other in Washington on Your Side representing their nefarious schedming. Also, Daveed Diggs keeps Jefferson’s limp even without the cane. Also Madison is angry at Hamiilton when he says “the bill of rights, which I wrote!” 

One Last Time: 

How perfectly the Bible verse reflects Washington’s opinion of legacy. The younger men are obsessed with preserving their own memories in history, but for Washington, his legacy would be that everyone would be safe and at peace. 

Washington’s practically crying at the end 

Hamilton asking Washington here to teach him how to say goodbye because Hamilton genuinely doesn’t know how: people left him before he could ever say goodbye 

We Know: Jefferson’s pure WTF face when he says “my God...”. In this reaidng, Burr definitely threatened him (I didn’t always intepret that way when listening). But Hamilton’s still an idiot. 

Hurricane: Once again, Lin’s facial expressions. The way the the chorus stands around and watches him. But also the freaking brilliant way that the dancers mimic the hurricane, and Burr and Maria are the only other people in the hurricane with Hamilton. But at the end, it’s just Hamilton and the desk 

Reynolds Pamphlet: The way Washington can’t even look at him, but Angelica gets in his face to yell at him. Also, Jefferson hands a pamphlet to the conductor 

This reading, Phillippa Soo sings Burn with so much rage and fury and that is pretty much my favorite part of this entire film

Hamilton’s face at “Alexander, did you know?”

The fact that Angelica narrates Uptown because it’s too intimate for Burr or anyone else to narrate. Eliza’s changing facial expressions as she slowly lets him in. The way Hamilton just completely breaks down and sobs

The Election of 1800: 

Jefferson shaking his head when Madison suggests Hamilton

Burr’s falseness is hilarious. He hands Hamilton a pamphlet. 

Jefferson’s look of resignation when Hamilton is making his decision, then starts dancing around when he’s won

The close-up of Burr’s face falling when he realizes who Hamilton has voted for 

The whole “runner-up becomes VP” thing made me think about if we could have had Hillary Clinton as VP, and I made myself sad. 

Your Obedient Servant: I always saw this song as a reflection of the custom, but I never fully appreciated how it reflects their relationship: their relationship has completely disintegrated, but their working to maintain this false appearance of friendship/civility that no longer has a place in their relationship. 

Also, Burr’s increasingly incensed and it does not help that Hamilton sends like a 12-page letter and the dancer even teases Burr

The guy who gives Hamilton Burr’s duel challenge plays Charles Lee. Karma 

The World Was Wide Enough

Burr’s POV then Hamilton’s POV, like this story has become less and less about Hamilton and he is no longer in control of who’s telling his story

The shot of Eliza walking away and in her wake, it’s Burr shooting 

Burr’s alone in the stage, finally realizing the world (aka the stage) was wide enough for the both of them, but it’s too late. Also, in part foreshadowing his own future: that he had the world before him regardless of Hamilton, but he was completely ruined after this duel

I definitely cried at ‘the orphanage’. Also I interpret the gasp at the end as her breaking fourth wall and seeing the audience and realizing that Hamilton’s legacy has continued even to today. 

[kaydeefalls]

9, 12, 25, 34, and any other you want to answer??

Sweet! Thank you!

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

In TOG, Andy, which is strange for me because she's, you know, the protagonist and stuff. This is not a diss on Andy, who I think is a FANTASTIC character, just one that I can't personally wrap my brain around to write well. The biggest roadblock to me adding more desperately needed Andy/Quynh or Andy/Nile to this fandom is the fact that I cannot get Andy's voice in my head at ALL. No idea why. She's amazing and I love her and I never ever want to write from her POV. (I don't particularly like writing Booker, but not because I find him difficult. He's easy enough to write. I just don't enjoy being in his head.)

For X-Men, Shaw. Fuck that dude. Worst villain ever. Incredibly boring and difficult to write.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

...oh shit, I have no active WIPs right now and I don't know what to say! I mean, I will damn well finish the Poe/Finn soulmark AU, that IS going to happen even if it kills me. But I feel like the past few months have just been me powering through all the looming deadlines and refusing to indulge in any other fic ideas, and now I'm just about over that hump and my brain is an absolute wasteland. I have a few vague ideas knocking around that I'm hoping will come to fruition, but they're still at the fragile don't-look-at-me stage. So! I am super excited to finish my Festivid this weekend so that I can start thinking about WIPs again!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! LOL, all the time! For example, I ABSOLUTELY know what the next plot for The Conspirator's Gift (Charles/Erik medieval mystery AU) verse would be, but I will never write it because no one cares except me, and also the entire thing would unfortunately hinge around the reader not knowing Rogue's mutant power so obviously that wouldn't work so much as a mystery anyway, alas. There are also "scenes I never got around to writing" from various fics that play on loop in my brain, because they just didn't fit in and I knew that before I bothered starting them. So, like, I know exactly how Charles/Erik originally hooked up in Boden's Mate well beyond the fragment actually shown in the flashback (along with BUCKETS of CIA backstory with Inception characters). 

For TOG, there are a number of sections in lessons exquisitely crafted that were not from Nicolò's POV, and therefore his perspective was never explained, but 1. that time they died of thirst like 20 mins from an oasis, only Yusuf actually died, Nicolò just pretended to have as well so that he could save face; 2. Nicolò absolutely had sex with Yusuf's ex-twink on the road to Mecca, and probably had a few other one-night stands over the years but was VERY good at hiding them from Quynh and Andy because he's capable of fucking discretion, thank you very much. I also never found a way to include the conversations Yusuf/Nicolò definitely would have had about all their near misses and weird shared connections over the years apart, but like, they definitely talked all that shit through, and Nicolò told him everything about the meeting with Maryam and her son, and Yusuf cringed his way through the conversation about their mutual twink friend Robert-the-physician.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. UGH I'm terrible at picking these things, but this is a kind of silly and overlooked exchange from Travellers from an Antique Land:

"Well, you look damn good for forty," Nile tells her. "Or, you know, three thousand and forty, whatever." Quỳnh laughs at that, the sound bright and sparkling, and it warms something in Nile's chest to have made the boss laugh. "Man, it's weird to think about, though, you know? I'm twenty-six. My body is gonna be twenty-six, forever. I mean, most people would kill to look this good for the rest of their lives, right? But the thought of being a crotchety old lady someday, still stuck in the body of a twenty-something…" Quỳnh regards her thoughtfully. "It's not quite like that. Yes, we grow ancient in our own ways, with the sheer weight of those years of experience. But…" She shrugs. "In another sense, we don't age. Not just in appearance; I mean that our bodies are constantly healing, rejuvenating themselves. It's not that you will always appear to be twenty-six; in a very real way, your body and your mind remain twenty-six. Our brains do not decay with senility. We still learn and adapt with the ease we had at our first deaths. You don't realize," she goes on, somewhat conspiratorially, "how lucky we are that the boys died at the ages they did, and not as younger men. Can you imagine being stuck with twenty-year-old male hormones for the rest of eternity?" This is something Nile genuinely had not considered, and it is absolutely horrifying. "Oh, my God. They would just be fucking all the time." "All the time," Quỳnh agrees, world-weary. "You don't even know. Lykon used to--"

This is kind of a primary thesis I have about how age works for the immortals, though. Like, I find all the takes on how they're grumpy old people in young bodies entertaining, sure, but I genuinely think fundamentally they're not. They are as young as they were when they first died, just with a fuckton more lived experience than your average thirty- or forty-something. Lykon was twenty years old forever with all the godawful hormones that entailed and he would just fuck all the time. This is crucially important information.

[romancing-lady-whistledown]

the fandom was exactly like this, every time Lucas or Eliott weren't a perfect human and had flaws the fans here would say they were ruined. like Lucas saying some ignorant things on s5 and s6 doesn't mean they ruined him?? and it wasn't ooc he said some ignorant things on s3 as well. but he apologises. fans are obsessed with purity, they want their fave characters to be 'woke kings' . I read fics where Lucas was super "woke" and honestly it made me cringe so much bc that's not him

Hi anon! I have no idea when I recieved this as Tumblr never notified me about it, so I’m sorry if this response is really late! This got kinda long so I’ll leave my response under the cut.

 Personally when it comes to Elu-fanfiction (which is the only type of fanfiction I read, actually) I’ll enjoy anything that can give me the Elu-feelings, just in different ways depending on the genre/trope, and that also includes when they’re pure fluff and the angst that maybe would’ve happened in the actual show is cut down or cut out. Sure I’ll notice when Lucas or another character says something I could never hear canon Lucas say, but overall as long as the character has enough traits from Lucas, whether it’s more from soft Lucas or more from fiery Lucas, I’ll just take that as the writer using their freedom to make the tweaks to the characters that they wish for their story. With that being said, when it comes to the canon characters themselves and the way they’re created and presented in the show (and this is in general not just in Skam France, but definitely also in Skam France), I completely agree with you. Alot of people do want their favorite characters to be morally pure and fully woke, but that has never been Lucas or Eliott and personally I don’t know anybody in the real world who are perfect in that way either. 

To me personally a well-rounded and well-developed character is a character that on some level feels real and relatable, rather than a character that always pose as an example for the ideal response to every situation they’re put in. The latter will, to me personally, make them feel less real, well-rounded and relatable because nobody has the ideal response to every situation they’re put in. People do mess up and they mess up often, whether it’s in what they say or what they do. People also do grow and change and learn but that takes time. I won’t recognize any real human I know in a character that always does and says the right thing. That’s not to say that every character with flaws is a great character (examples of characters I personally don’t think are well-crafted, relatable or likable on any level are Charles from Skam France and, from the little I’ve seen of her, Kato from Wtfock). I think the key to creating a great character is giving them a combination of flaws and pleasant traits that make them either interesting or lovable or both, in a way that fit with the role they’re supposed to play in the story, whether it’s as an antagonist or a protagonist or something in between. 

What makes Lucas so lovable to me is the combination of him being hot-tempered and passionate and him also being very emotional and incredibly soft and sweet with the people he loves. He wears any emotion on his sleeve, whether it’s sadness or joy, anger or love. He’ll demand an explaination about Lucille multiple times until he gets one, but when he knows it’s Eliott and him he’ll turn into a softie who demands kisses every other minute and buys Eliott flowers and croissants when he’s not feeling well. He’ll lose his temper and he’ll sometimes say ignorant things as we saw in both S3 and in the newer seasons, but he’ll also apologize for things he say, as we saw both with Arthur, Lola and Chloe. Lucas is to me the perfect example of a character with a lovable combination of positive traits and flaws. 

My one big complaint about Lucas and Eliott’s parts of S5 and S6 is not that they were ruined in any way, it’s that I feel like the writers started an arc on screen that didn’t get a good conclusion on screen. They introduced insecurities for both Lucas and Eliott that we got to see them discuss with others (Imane, Arthur, Lola) but never with each other. We actually saw Eliott very rarely in S5 and Lucas very rarely in S6, but when we did see Lucas in S5 it was partly for the part of the storyline where Arthur felt left out and in S6 it was basically to set up the club-incident towards the end of the season (that he understandably got upset about), and in both S5 and S6 his tendency to get angry and speak before thinking (that always has been there) got a bit more focus on screen than his soft and sweet side (although it was still present), but that doesn’t mean that his soft side isn’t there just as much as before. To me that is a problem in the writing and storytelling with them prioritizing showing the angst a lot more than the happy or healing moments, instead of having a better balance, but it did by no means ruin Eliott, Lucas or Elu for me. I saw enough in S3 to fully believe that the conversations that needed to happen did happen or will happen, and sometimes conversations between them were referenced but not shown on screen, like when Lucas told Lola at the video-store that Eliott had explained her and Eliott’s relationship to him.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that Skam is always gonna be frustrating with things like this because of the one POV per season thing. Conversations that we would very much like to see will take place off screen when the main isn’t there, we did for example not see Isak and Even talk about Mikael and Isak’s jealousy or Noora and William talk about their drama in S4, we were always told about this through Sana, and the people we did see Lucas and Eliott discuss their insecurities with in S4-S6 were always the mains of their respective seasons. But the thing with Skam France is that they did break the POV for the Fifi-clip or Basile and Daphne talking during S5, so it’s hard not to wish that they could’ve done that here. I also wanna add that when I say I wish they gave Lucas and Eliott’s arc in S5 and S6 a good conclusion I don’t mean Lucas and Eliott getting rid of their insecurities so they’ll never be a potential cause of conflict ever again, because I don’t think insecurities work like that. I don’t think being in a loving relationship for a year will take those insecurities away. As I said earlier, growth takes time, and deep-rooted insecurities are certainly no exception to that.

Anyway, this got long and ranty and I’m sorry about that, but the bottomline is this: I definitely agree with you that there seems to be a huge need in for beloved characters to remain as morally pure and woke as possible in the fandom in order for them not be concidered “ruined”. In reality the flaws we saw in both Lucas and Eliott in S5 and S6 were, in my opinion, very much present in S3, I think they were very much in character, but the difference is that now we only got small glimpses of the characters, their words and their actions, they were not the main focus and we didn’t get to see them up close with all of their qualities explored the way we got in S3. We only got what we got in those glimpses, and sometimes that was a glimpse of Lucas and Eliott doing or saying something they shouldn’t have, but that doesn’t mean all the good qualities of them as characters and as a couple disappeared, we simply didn’t get to see the full picture on screen the way we did in S3. In S5 and S6 I had some issues with the storytelling for Elu, just like I did for other characters, but to me personally the characters and the couple were by no means ruined.

[danisaur-arts]

Review on Diana Gabaldon's Dragonfly in Amber

A little more than a week ago I finished the second book in Gabaldon's Outlander series but I've procrastinated this review a little bit because I've been so hooked with Voyager. Regardless, here is my little insight on Dragonfly in Amber;

The book hits of with an incredibly powerful and hooking start, presenting us with a Claire 20 years ahead from the protagonist we knew she was. Her age is the least of surprises once we find out not only that she has a daughter, who is starting her twenties, but that she is in 1968! Us, the audience, are immediately thrown off our seats with a tsunami of questions. Why is she in the future?! Isbher daughter Jamie's?! What the f*ck is happening?! Gabaldon plays with this game of uncertainty for the first part of the book, until she decides that it is time for Claire to tell the story.

Different from the first book, this book and the other ones to come does not limit itself to Claire's PoV. Remember I said I didn't really like first person narrators too much? Well I have to ironically admit that I almost had a heart attack when I saw that the book opened in third person with the PoV of a character we are merely being introduced to. But don't worry folks! Claire owns most of the book's narration in this case.

After this amazing start, the book slows down as abruptly as a car hitting the breaks at full speed. The second part begins with Claire taking us to the events of the past on how she and Jamie reached France to stop the Bonnie Prince Charles from being able to start the Jacobite revolution that would lead to the death of thousands of Scots. Although the Paris plot has some mind-blowing events and a handful of interesting Characters, it feels quite dull and slow in comparison to all the adventures the reader lived in book 1. Whereas Outlander was full of sword fights and runaways and the first sparks of love, the Paris plot of ADiA is more based on diplomacy, mind games and settling as a family. It is fairly interesting, but in my opinion could have been much shorter.

Eventually things move back to Scotland, and a small part of the book is peacefully spent in Lallybroch. I swear this place is like a safe haven for Claire and Jamie, for most of the times they spend in it are often too sweet and wholesome that readers won't be able to prevent biting their lips each flutter of a heart (and believe me you'll feel many flutters).

And then, the Jacobite rebellion suddenly surprises you when you thought everything was solved. And things get spicy fast as the war unfolds.

By this point the reader grows scare. We know Claire is going to end up traveling back to the future, but what made her? Once we found out what, our eyes tear up because it is not the cause we'd ever think would be.

But the book does not end there. We stay with our 40 yr old Claire who is still attached to her valiant and stubborn Scot from the past. And we find out that 20 years after Culloden he still lived, closing with an open ending that leaves Claire with a tough decision to make by the third book.

Dragonfly in Amber doesn't fail to show what an outstanding writer Diana Gabaldon is. It experiments with really sorrowful and complicated themes and digs even deeper into Jamie and Claire's relationship adding more complexity to it making it more dimensional and giving it the ups and downs marriage implies. I just believe it shouldn't be as long as it is.

Rating: 7.5/10

[hellrisen]

WHAT IS UP, MY DUDES ?                  the name’s mads. short for mads mikkelsen’s #1 fan and lover —— alternatively amanda. you can call me whatever you want, though. or anytime :wink: i am twenty - three years young, and i go by she / them pronouns. my favorite movie franchise is scream and i think machine gun kelly is the best thing since sliced bread. but that’s enough about me … so, click the      READ MORE     below for a brief introduction to my oc’s ! 

ALISHA BOE, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER   …   you’re looking for sawyer kinney? town as small as this, you’re bound to find them — the twenty-two year old nephilim and student with an unadulterated love for soccer, bonne bell cotton candy lip smackers, and 1980′s romcoms. with blondies′ sunday girl set as the soundtrack of their stroll, everyone can see clear as day that they’re tenacious, and yet blithe. i just hope you’re finding them for the right reasons …

BACKSTORY …

MEET SAWYER KINNEY —— half angel, half fun. adopted by a nice christian pair in ‘97 after her mommy kicked the bucket. that’s what happens when you fraternise with angels, you see. so … daddy dearest dropped her off at one of eden’s many, many, many churches and said SEE YA !

since then, angelic endeavours have been stifled. for the most part. her adoptive parents died when she was thirteen years old. car crash. and it might’ve been partially sawyer’s fault. we can’t all control our divine urges. or the powers inherited from fathers we never knew.

premonition and other sorts of fun hasn’t been experienced since. partially due to the seizure meds her family feeds her like tic tacs. she’s got epilepsy ! except she like, doesn’t. but from an adult pov and an absence of telekinetic rages since childhood, sawyer accepts the diagnosis at face value. nobody said she was smart.

she’s a vet student, though ! so, she’s semi - smart. sawyer loves all animals ( bunnies mostly ) and has since she was a wee lass. same goes for soccer. nobody loves muddy balls as much as sawyer kinney, y’all.

survivor of three near death experiences, only one which was self - inflicted, sawyer’s kind of convinced herself to have a purpose. she doesn’t. but since the third incident, she’s been more connected to god than ever before. a poor idolisation considering he’d have her sniped if he knew of her existence.

another addition to sawyer’s idiocy is her lack of deep thought regarding the town she lives in. yeah, it’s quirky ! and people are superstitious ! but that’s all there is to it. but as she’s starting to engage more with the vamps of eden, as well as pushing for a release from her medication, she’ll have to unveil this creep - fest for what it is … well, a creep fest.

PERSONALITY …

she’s pushy. like, very. sawyer’s very engaged with her friends and family, possibly due to middle child slash adopted child syndrome. include her or die.

competitive, too. she can get kinda mean when there’s a WINNER title on the horizon. because she has to win, she must win — she’s the best person at whatever they’re competing in. swear to satan ! ( that was me, not sawyer, don’t worry. )

on top of that, sawyer’s the epitome of a social butterfly. she’ll befriend anyone at any given opportunity, and maybe that’s why she’s gonna end up dead in an alley. either way, if there’s a person she does not know —— sawyer will know them by the end of the day. so, it goes without saying then, that she’s quite the partier. drinking is fun ! dancing is fun ! okay ? cool.

STEVEN YEUN, DEMI BOY, HE/THEY   …   you’re looking for wolfgang baek? town as small as this, you’re bound to find them — the thirty-seven year old human and podcast host with an unadulterated love for dario argento films, his super 8 camera, and chicken mcnuggets is easy to spot. with charles manson’s look at your game, girl set as the soundtrack of their stroll, everyone can see clear as day that they’re meddlesome, and yet voluble. i just hope you’re finding them for the right reasons …

BACKSTORY …

MEET WOLFGANG BAEK —— flop movie director / screenwriter, son of a successful movie director / screenwriter, who resorted to hosting a spooky podcast. men, am i right ? always making them podcasts …

wolfie is what you call a movie buff. horror movies specifically. he loves himself a good scare ! hence why he moved to this little hell - town called eden. it was all for that sick and twisted inspiration. for what you ask — well, for his next movie, duh ! the one he started four years ago and has yet to finish … yeah, that one.

due to his father’s job he spent the majority of his childhood on the cinematic scene. both off and on screen. yeah, he got a cameo in one of his daddy’s 1980′s films ! jealous yet ? you should be. but it isn’t just because of that he has never done a sport in his life, okay … he also has heart issues, baby. a defect heart valve that got fixed ( best it could ) when he was a wee bean. it’s fine now. for the most part.

now he’s kind of obsessed with outdoing his dad even though that is the biggest cliche out of all the cliches and he’s aware of the fact. simply being introspective is not enough, is it ? he’s made a couple shorts, and one feature length — flops the whole bunch. i mean, they’re decent to OUR standards. but to this perfectionist ? nah, son. burn that shit.

PERSONALITY …

wolfie can be … callous. insensitive. a bit of a prick. not in the sense of deliberate asshole - ness, but — he’s desensitised to the world’s tragedies ( too many true crime dramas ) and he’s incredibly pretentious. it’s cinema, darling.

he talks a lot, too. TOO MUCH ! nobody asked for his input regarding the rise and the decline of the slasher genre but here he is … putting it in regardless. odds are every other sentence includes either a. a movie reference, or b. a true crime reference. pick one.

because he’s all work and no play, he’s never had a serious girlfriend. i know ! shocking, right ? i mean, look at him !!!!!!!! but no. longest relationship lasted a whooping four months and we don’t talk about that one. there might be a part of him that believes he’s incapable of love … we don’t talk about that either.

AUBREY PLAZA, AGENDER, SHE/THEY   …   you’re looking for muriel stafford? town as small as this, you’re bound to find them — the thirty-five year old possessed human and journalist with an unadulterated love for impromptu road trips, take-out delivery food, and burt’s bees pomegranate lip balm is easy to spot. with santana’s she’s not there set as the soundtrack of their stroll, everyone can see clear as day that they’re aloof, and yet perspicacious. i just hope you’re finding them for the right reasons …

BACKSTORY …

MEET MURIEL STAFFORD —— stanford graduate and general pain in the butt. disowned by her family and the whole ghost hunting community. things we don’t discuss: see above.

to make a long story incredibly short, merle grew up in a haunted house. or so they say … you see, when merle was nine years old, her sister was possessed BY THE DEVIL. or so they say … and all that trauma ? documented, darlings. because momma and poppa don’t hesitate to capitalise on their own children. sickening.

according to merle, her sister suffered a psychotic break, and her parents — previously z listers with an affinity for running ghost hunting blogs — didn’t hesitate to make the fact their latest pitch. AND TO STARDOM THEY WENT ! meanwhile, agnes delgado chugged drain - cleaner two years after it aired.

fast forward last year of college, and the anniversary of the notorious exorcism documentary comes creeping up. so merle says enough is enough ! girl puts her soon - to - be journalism degree to use and writes an extensive exposé on her own fam. that ought to show them, right ? well …

turns out : her input was not wanted. as if it wasn’t bad enough to have the remainder of the delgado clan turn on her, the anonymous identity she’d craved ever since entering the spotlight years ago — it is snatched from her ! safe to say she did not think it through.

so, what now ? well, we change our last name to our mommy’s maiden name and we escape the hell - scape that is texas and then, we hope nobody added your newly - zit - free face to memory. because it’s been * math years * ! okay ? forget it … you never read any of the above …

PERSONALITY … 

merle has never cared for much in general, and that’s very obvious. she has a very deadpan approach to life and all of its difficulties. plus, riveting backstory in mind — she’s unlikely to share details of her life unless it pertains recent mundane bull - crap !

going against everything previously established, her attitude towards the supernatural is not skeptical. aliens, ghosts, ghouls … all things that exist. because muriel delgado grew up in a haunted house. and while her adult mind rationalised all that was seen in her childhood, it also suffered a break of its own post her sister’s death - aversary.

it’s nice to come face to face with old friends, though, innit ? and if all she has left of her past is the demonic presence lurking in the back of her mind, then so be it. beggars cannot be choosers, merle.

[gerec]

In Defence of Professor X

Or My Spoiler-y Thoughts on everything Charles Xavier in Dark Phoenix

Previous Post: Spoiler-y Thoughts on Dark Phoenix

Also: Non Spoiler-y Thoughts on Dark Phoenix

So I came away from the movie with a lot of thoughts and feelings about Charles and his arc in Dark Phoenix, and I want to try and get them down into one (hopefully!) cohesive post. Overall, I would say that I’m fine with Charles’ role in this movie, but maybe it’s because I don’t think he’s as wrong or as bad as the other characters make him out to be (or the way the film tries to frame as his failures):

‘Charles is bad for altering Jean’s memories of the accident’ Listen folks I said this before the movie and I’ll say it again; Charles made a choice to protect Jean and I think he made the only choice he could at that time to ensure that she could eventually grow to learn to accept herself and her mutation. She’s an eight year old child with incredible telepathic and telekinetic powers, who just inadvertently caused the death of her own mother, causing her own father to be afraid of her and reject her as a lost cause. She’s already so afraid of herself and the powers she can’t control; imagine the additional guilt of knowing it was all her fault these terrible things happened? Look at how she’s reacting now as an adult woman and imagine what it would have been like for her to try and process it as a child? And also to be utterly rejected by the one parent she has left? Yes, Charles absolutely should have told her the truth when she was old enough to understand it, and it was definitely a failure on his part to not come clean in all the years between XMA and DP when Jean had a good hold of her powers and a support network in place to help her process that childhood trauma. But you can’t convince me that initial decision was superbadwrong, and everything that happened with Jean afterwards was his fault (as the movie tries to frame it); sometimes being a parent means you have to pick the least shitty option from a buffet of bad options. 

‘Charles is a politician and enjoys having a platform to spread his message of integration’

This is bad...why? Charles has achieved what he’s tried to do his whole life; to try to get humans to co-exist with mutants. He’s done what Erik and Raven have both said they wanted - for mutants to live openly without being hated and feared. Instead of (reciprocated) violence and intimidation he’s using his natural charm and his privilege and influence to promote mutants as valued members of society, and in the process the X-Men have become heroes, becoming role models for both mutants and humans. I mean it’s easy to be cynical about politicians especially given the current state of world events but I don’t see why any of what he does can/should be construed negatively? And I certainly do not see how this is entirely for his own benefit vs. for the benefit of mutants all over? Is it because he’s good at it and he maybe likes doing it? Because he was born to a life of privilege and knows how to navigate the halls of the wealthy elite? Or because it feels good and he’d rather live a life being embraced instead of hunted and hated? I guess the only legitimate way to fight for mutants and the cause is to bleed for it, or smash things and kill people I guess which leads to...

‘Charles puts the lives of his own people at risk to save humans’

I thought it was extremely ironic to hear Raven of all people reducing the X-Men to a bunch of ‘kids’ to be protected, instead of a group of adults (Quicksilver should be 37 by now if he was say 17 in DOFP, and the others at least 27) capable of making their own decisions. I wrote about it in this post here - that during the space mission Charles is constantly asking the team for their opinions on what can/can’t be done (he doesn’t force them) and letting them determine the course of action (with his encouragement yes). And the very nature of a superhero team means taking risks and saving people, human or mutant; I think the conflict here between Charles and Raven stems very naturally from how they each view the world - Raven doesn’t care about humans and demands to live in society on their (mutants’) terms while Charles wants mutants to be a part of it, and sees value in the lives of ‘both’. I personally didn’t see someone who valued humans over his own people; I saw someone who was confident in and proud of his team’s ability and their capabilities.

Other Random Thoughts

- Charles’ reaction to Raven’s death was ooc, and I don’t know if it was an acting choice on McAvoy’s part or the direction, but it came off as unfeeling and callous. We spent almost all of DOFP with Charles mourning the hole that Raven left in his life, and it was jarring to see the lack of emotion conveyed on screen. Hopefully the scene of Charles at Raven’s grave makes it back in the blu ray, to give some context to that bizarre scene in the kitchen with Hank.

- I surprisingly didn’t hate Raven in this movie, because it was clear to me that she would never see or understand (or care about) Charles’ POV or his motivation. Charles’ way is too slow, too methodical, too big picture for her, and is too inclusive of the humans in his desire to educate and lead them all down a path of coexistence. Raven feels no affinity to humans and is wholly other; Charles greatest and most effective gift is empathy. She was always going to feel constrained living with Charles’ ideals and his goals, no matter that he’s helped steer them all to a present where she’s lauded as a hero. It really would have been better for all of them if she and Hank had left and carved out a life together, though I honestly don’t know what that life would entail...

- There’s no reason to believe Charles didn’t willingly retire from the School (and change the name in honour of his daughter - because yes that what she was to him) and hand the reins over to Hank, assuming he does this after he has to fix the whole ‘humans are a constant disappointment and in fact exactly as reactive and paranoid as he knew they would be when he told Raven they were always only one disaster away from hating and hunting them again’. But being constantly unappreciated and blamed for all the ills of the world has to be exhausting, and I’m glad he hung up his cufflinks to be a farmer with Erik and live happily ever after.

- BUT ALSO CHARLES XAVIER HAS NOTHING BUT LOVE IN HIS HEART FOR ALL MUTANTS AND HIS FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY THE SISTER WHO LOVED HIM BUT NEVER CARED TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND THE DAUGHTER WHO IS THE MOST LIKE HIM OF ALL HIS STUDENTS AND HE WOULD CARVE HIS OWN HEART OUT TO MAKE HER LIFE BETTER