#but overall i think this show has been much more consistent than the original

[mermaidsirennikita]

I'm only halfway through s2 of vikings: valhalla but I'm so glad they separated harald and freydis because these 2 didn't have any chemistry, anytime they were together on screen it was always boring land to me. And I could say the same for leif and his dead girlfriend from season 1 that they tried to convince me he was super in love with when she was so forgettable I couldn't even remember her name

Lol her name was Liv and I liked her just fine but she definitely didn’t do anything especially exceptional. I think that you could make an argument for her representing like…. Leif feeling like he’s a flop pagan Viking, which he kind of is, but yeah she was not this grand love.

The thing that has always been an issue with this franchise is building love stories over time. Even when they have pairings with a compelling hook and chemistry between the actors, they don't allocate a lot of story time to them, and the actors have to fill in the gaps--which means that when the writers take sudden turns, it's even more jarring. Take Rollo and Gisla, a ship I think was fairly popular, that actually did have a multi-episode "falling in love" arc that most of the show's ships didn't get, with actors that had chemistry. She basically hated him until suddenly she didn't and they fucked like bunnies, and it was fine because a lot of people, myself included, liked them--but then a time jump happened and they had huge issues and it was like "oh, this is sudden".

Now, Michael Hirst (who I think...... is prone to this kind of relationship writing or lack thereof) is not as directly involved in the new show. I think he's largely involved in a capacity wherein he came up with the concept, but it's not really something he guides; at least, that was the case last I checked. But I think you see his fingertips in the relationship writing. When you've got a good hook and chemistry, you can make it work--Leif and Mariam, I found really charming because of chemistry, and because I liked Leif, who seems to be very torn about his place in the world and his relationships with people who have big ambitions and opposing religious stances (Freydis as a pagan and Harald as a Christian), forming this romance with this learned woman who helped him grow. Even if it's like, oh wow, Leif, who is mourning a woman, is now falling in love with a woman who's dying from the outset lol. It's Vikings. Women Big Dying.

And I think this approach also works pretty well with Emma and Canute, who really don't have a lot of screentime together... But the actors have chemistry and their entire bond is really compelling. They're both plotters and schemers and politicians, and he's super into her big brain while having a different approach to governing.

I actuallllly really like the romantic alternative they set up for Harald in season 2, even though there was way less screentime devoted to development than I'd like. I loved where it ended in the season (what a hook) and it made way more sense for him, imo, than Harald and Freydis.

Like, I have no idea why Harald is into Freydis. She really doesn't seem to align with his vision (and at the end of the day, Harald is all self-centered ambition and we love that for him) and she has like... zero respect for his religion. And don't get me wrong, I am not saying "Christians good", but the show's huge "pagans good, Christians bad" thing is.... boring lol. Like, Freydis really hates Christians, Harald is a Christian, and like. She's right in the premiere. They should just stop.

I don't get Freydis as a character at all. The performance doesn't do it for me, to be honest, and she's basically incredibly disconnected from EVERYONE in the main cast. Like, yeah, the England arc is disconnected from the BIG ARC (which is Harald and Leif) but.... There's way less time devoted to it than there is to Freydis, and there are several established mains involved--Emma, Godwin, and to a lesser extent Canute. Whereas Freydis was mostly on her own last season, with characters who really didn't end up carrying over to this one with her, and this season they basically had to make people up to interact with her. And the only one I cared about was Bradley James, who SOLD EVERY DAMN LINE LOL.

And the show did such a NOTICEABLE 180 in s2 (which I definitely enjoyed) versus the end of s1. You end s2 with Leif and Harald split and Harald with Freydis. Suddenly, by the end of the s2 finale, Harald and Freydis are big broken up, and Leif and Harald are back together and have an entire BRO ROAD TRIP the whole season, during which Harald is set up with another woman who I suspect will be pretty important to his ambitions. Yes, Freydis has Harald's baby, but I'm 90% sure that this was largely because the show super wants a kid with Harald and Leif's DNA in it.

Like, clearly Freydis was written to be a Lagertha 2.0, and as much as I hated Lagertha by the end of the original series, she was a very popular character and basically the face of the show for much of its time post-Travis Fimmel. I feeeel like they basically have to have that locked in so that they can promote their "ooh woman roar shield maiden rah rah" bullshit that got them viewers with the first show... But they know Freydis individually didn't play as well for viewers in the first season as Harald and Leif, lol. They know the thing that's most fun about this show is watching This Hot Guy Who Thinks He's Kinda A Big Deal and His Zen Friend Who Somehow Is Going Along With This have zany adventure with wacky hijinks. Like, Leif and Harald will never kiss, because Vikings, but the show is investing more time and development into that relationship than any canonical romantic relationship. Much like... some other... homoerotic relationships... on the original show... pick one of 500.

(Sidebar: I like Emma and Canute together a lot, but I also think that Emma and Godwin have a similar deal going on where they don't canonically have a romantic thing happening, but because they are not romantic the show actually devotes more time to their, in this case contentious relationship, so you wanna see them kiss. And Godwin has fabulous chemistry with Emma AND Canute, and Emma and Canute have chemistry, so it's like whenever they're all together I wait for Canute to be like "you guys fight so much, you know how we can resolve this?" before pushing their faces together. Canute seems like the type of guy who'd initiate a threesome that way.)

Anyway, I really enjoyed s2 but that was something I noticed a lot. Freydis basically having an arc you could totally fast-forward through without missing anything related to the main plot (again)... While Leif and Harald have the meat of the story. She's supposed to be as important as them, but I don't think the writers have their hearts in it with her. So she's basically a total cypher. She's the Keeper of the Faith, and it's like? Cool? Harald is like, going to be an actual king and Leif is gonna discover America, but they need a Strong Viking Woman because they can't let Emma be the Strong Woman rep because she's not a viking and also wears dresses a lot, which means she is not actually strong.

Also, everyone who is against Freydis needs to be a super legit bad person because she gets to be Cool and Good, whereas Emma must be Cool and Treacherous. Because she does not fight with a sword (straightforward and masculine), she fights with politics and her brain, which are bad (subversive and feminine). Though I really had fun with Emma's arc this season and I don't think they were like... trying to make us hate her the way they used to try to make us hate Aslaug, it was kinda funny to watch the contrast.

Anyway. Bring on season 3 and for the love of God, continue to lean in to with Leif and Harald shenanigans versus Freydis like. Midsommar singing.

[summersunqueen]

rebloged for the hashtags :)

The Percy Jackson renaissance and The Hunger Games renaissance happening in the same year is something so special to me

[nitw]

OKAY REAL TALK. i'm on episode 5 rn. if this keeps up the way i think it is then this show is such a fucking genius adaptation, and i never would've seen it coming

like yeah, an animated scott pilgrim series authentic to the comics and the story bryan originally wanted to tell would've been amazing too. but when you think about it, SCOTT'S story has already been told to us more than a few times now. even if the live action movie took a different turn by accident, the overall message of "well-intentioned people can still make, and should still take responsibility for, mistakes that hurt those who care about them, and indifference will only end up hurting them back" still sticks for the most part.

but it's mainly been from scott's perspective. which makes sense! he's the main character, so, obviously!! but here's the thing: ramona has ALWAYS served as a reflection of scott's issues. ngl i think this is one of the most consistent things in the entire franchise, and it's why i love ramona so much. as we dive further into her backstory we learn just how much of a wall she's built around herself, how she's afraid of trusting people, but especially that, as sympathetic as she is, she's also caused so much (unintentional) damage herself. although she's introduced as someone literally too good to be true and unreachable by scott's standards, it becomes more and more apparent how similar scott and ramona are, and so they're perfect for guiding each other towards a brighter path.

and what better way to highlight this than to flip the tables completely, putting RAMONA center stage aka making the audience intimately familiar with her immediately, making SCOTT the mysterious damsel in distress/goal at the finish line instead, driving ramona to face the 7 evil exes and making amends with them in a way scott never could???

also can i just say. HUGE SHOUTOUT to the marketing team for hiding this reveal SOOOOO well. like seriously, i was worried they were showing TOO MUCH in the trailers BUT I WAS WRONG. WE GOT PLAYED SO HARD

[adobe-outdesign]

Shiny review for the Magnemite line please?

Magnemite: Shiny Magnemite's pretty good! Swapping out the red and blue magnet tips for plain black, combined with making the body a light cream instead of a blue, gives it a more "industrial" feeling that really fits the 'mon. The cream color also makes sure it's not overly monotone while keeping it nice and distinct from the original.

Magneton: Shiny Magneton does mostly the same thing as Magnemite, and it works just as well here and is nice and consistent. My only complaint is that for some reason the magnets are a dull gray-on-gray, whereas Magnemite's are a light grey-on-black. It gives the magnets a very washed out feeling and looses the nice way shiny Magnemite's magnets complimented the gray screws.

Magnezone: Magnezone is just kind of mid; it's not terrible but it could be better. Consistency-wise, it doesn't really fit with the others; instead of a cream body with a light gray top and screws, it has a light gray body with tan top and screws, which isn't quite as noticeable. More importantly, it also keeps the red and blue magnet tips for... some reason, instead of matching the gray/black of its pre-evos, which makes it look a lot more similar to its non-shiny counterpart. Oddly enough, earlier sprites show it with blue magnets—and while I still would've preferred black for consistency, this was more noticeable than what we got, so I'm not sure why they felt the need to change it.

I also think the yellow antennae on the top could've done more than just be slightly lighter in color; maybe it could've also been gray or black. I will say though that I do like the blue eye, as I think it's clever that it swaps from red to blue to match the red and blue magnets. Apart from that, however, this one's pretty underwhelming.

Overall: Shiny Magnemite and Magnezone are both pretty solid. Shiny Magnezone is just okay; could be worse but could also be much better.

[pancake-breakfast]

Ok! Notes from the first Orange panel at AX 2024! They were discouraging photography and video so this will just be text (mobile Tumblr hates my photos, anyway). But first, a bit of a TL;DR.

TL:DR: While they talked about Trigun: Stampede, Beastars, and their new upcoming title Leviathan, they mostly focused on Leviathan since Stampede has its own panel later. (I'm not sure about Beastars since I haven't been following the show as closely.)

Ok, on with the notes!

(Edited to add links.)

Studio Orange Presents: Beastars, Trigun, and...

The panel guests were Kiyotaka Waki (producer at Orange) and Yoshihiro Watanabe (producer at Orange and also played translator for Waki), as well as Justin Leach (producer for Eden and Star Wars: Visions).

They started off the panel by noting that exactly zero of the people on the panel (including the mod) slept the previous night.

Then they showed a sizzle reel in honor of Orange's 20th anniversary, highlighting all the stuff they've done in that time. There were a lot of cheers for Trigun, Beastars, and Land of the Lustrous in particular.

After the reel, they talked briefly about the history of Orange, how they'd gone from animating mecha for other people's shows (like they did for Evangelion and Code: Geass) to doing entire properties themselves. They're particularly proud of how their studio has grown from 4 people to... I forgot how many. Much more than 4. And they can now work on multiple titles simultaneously.

On to Trigun! They didn't get into it much since it's getting its own panel at the con, but they did show some pages from the Trigun Bible on Plants, and Watanabe noted he'd post them up on the bird app later today. (Edit: You can find them here.) Watanabe also said they can't release the whole Bible yet, which may just have me thinking hopefully, but hey, there's a chance! He seems to genuinely love sharing pages from it, at least.

On to Beastars! They read a thank you letter from the director to the fans, and also showed a subtitled video that I'd guess was also a thank you from someone else, but I was too far back to read the subtitles. (An ongoing problem with watching anything subbed at this con is the subs being entirely blocked by other people's heads unless you're in like the first few rows... but I digress.) They also showed a new key visual (which I'm sure is gonna be floating around social media somewhere at this point) and noted the third and final season of the show will air on Netflix in December. Waki noted he started reading the manga in 2017, and he's thrilled to get to work on a full adaptation of the story since it's rare to get to do that.

On to Leviathan! I'm gonna break this one up a bit because it's long. This is Studio Orange's new upcoming title in collaboration with Netflix and Qubic Pictures (the studio that did Eden, which was a great story overall and I definitely recommend it). They also worked extensively with the author of the original work, Scott Westerfield, who helped keep them consistent with the characters and themes.

The story is a dieselpunk alternate world WWI story about a runaway Austrian Prince named Alec who meets this Scottish girl, Sharp, on a bioengineered airship, and the relationships these people from disparate backgrounds have with others and each other.

The German/Austrian side of the conflict is a faction known as the "Clankers," who focus on mechs and technology to conquer the world via machines, while the faction Sharp belongs to is called the "Darwinists," who focus on DNA modification of creatures as a way to connect with nature.

They showed a preview of it that honestly looked really cool, but again, no recording. It had flying whale ships. Like... whales they strapped a box to and fly around on.

Orange is excited to get to "go back to their roots" with this and work on a Mecha title again, especially since this title will be theirs this time.

They acquired/absorbed (I'm not sure on the details) a team that specializes in background art for this project, and yeah, the backgrounds are detailed and amazing.

They noted a lot of animators reflect their own lives in their work, and they feel Leviathan is no exception. The international collaboration (they also have people from Europe working on this) lends itself well to a story about people from disparate cultures coming together and realizing they have more in common and more similar passions and desires than they have differences.

They'll be talking more about Leviathan at Otakon in August.

That's all for now! I'll try to update on the other Orange/Trigun panels if I get into them!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Good news, everyone! Alex Horne has chosen to bring back his lip synch skills! You know, the ones in that video of his stand-up that's somehow from 2014, even though it feels like the sort of thing that should be one of those old videos you find of a now-famous comedian performing in like 2007:

Anyway, that Zaltzman interview was fun. I enjoyed that he was wearing full cricket gear, not just messing around with a white shirt. Knee pads. Big mittens. Helmet with face mask. And, yes, carrying the bat. I love the idea of Andy Zaltzman finally getting a big break on TV, at almost 50, and saying he'll only do it if he can drag in an entire cricket uniform. No, no, not just a shirt. All of the gear. And the bat.

This is actually not the first time this week that I've heard these two interact. I decided to prepare for Taskmaster s18 by listening to the previous recordings of Andy Zaltzman with Alex Horne. Andy's done three episodes of Alex's 2013-2014 podcast Alex Horne Breaks The News, and he did one episode of The Horne Section's podcast.

Listening to those four episodes really drove home how many specific similarities there are in Alex and Andy's style of humour. They're not particularly similar overall, but they have a few fairly rare quirks in common, and are usually the only person in a room with those quirks, so it is fun to hear them put those to each other. I cannot wait to see them get to Taskmaster, and Alex tries to measure something in mice and Andy will not be put off in the slightest, will just start explaining why using cats is actually a more standardized system. Andy and Alex are both so big on tracking pointless stats.

All three of Andy's Breaks the News episodes were a lot of fun. Those were actually the 3-5 episodes I've heard of that podcast, as I listened to the two Ray Peacock ones earlier this year and liked those too, I might end up getting into all of that podcast. It's very funny. An excellent vehicle for showing off Alex Horne's quirky humour, and I always like being reminded how much of that humour was there long before Taskmaster.

I like how much of the Taskmaster origins you can trace in general, through Alex Horne's whole career. No More Women/Jockeys and We Need Answers are both Alex showing off his love of random pointless games. Tim Key has talked in interviews about how they used to play the stupidest games they could think of at university. And Breaks the News is Alex Horne making people play a variety of pointless games, which he introduces and scores in absurd ways with full commitment to the bit. I suppose making comedians play short silly games can't be called Alex Horne's invention, as it's the cornerstone of the entire panel show industry, but Alex has a signature way of doing it that's been consistent for twenty years. The way he'll ask the senseless questions with total sincerity. Throwing in unrelated things as though they go together.

Is it possible that Taskmaster rose above all other panel shows in national and international popularity because it's a rare panel show that was made in the image of the showrunner's genuine sense of humour, rather than just a concept based on what's previously worked with famous names attached? I mean obviously it was also a bit of the latter (I don't love the things about Frank Skinner like "used to be a lecturer who married his teenage student", but some things about him are better, such as "is the reason Taskmaster exists because no one else would do the show without a big enough name attached in season 1"), but I feel like it has more of the former than most shows.

Anyway, I'd say that of all the Horne/Zaltzman podcast interactions, the one that makes clearest their odd similarities is the Alex Horne Breaks the News with Andy Zaltzman and Liam Williams:

The above is an absolutely excellent podcast episode, I highly recommend it to anyone who likes any of the three people involved. Andy and Alex go back and forth brilliantly, getting a bit further than usual with their style of "present an absurd scenario but take it seriously", as they keep taking each other's scenarios seriously, which is where I get the idea that Andy will respond to Alex's Taskmaster mice measuring by converting it into cats. Andy Zaltzman is often so awkward on other people's podcasts, there's usually a beat missing where everyone else will be in their rhythm, and then Andy will just throw his weird lie-based joke at what they're doing, and it'll hit a wall, and the others will either find it funny or not, but it's hard for it to go anywhere. But in this episode, Alex is kind of also doing that, they get into their own weird rhythm, and every once in a while Liam Williams will throw one of his deep-voiced baffled cynical statements into the mix, and I think it's a perfect blend. I realize it might not say great things about the diversity of my comedy taste that I believe three straight white Oxbridge-educated men form the perfect podcast episode, but this is pretty much what I want out of comedy.

This exchange, however, is from the episode he did with Brett Goldstein (and Ian Smith as a very funny scorekeeper, it was a sideline role but he stole the show several times from there), and is probably the easiest summary of the sort of thing I'm talking about, when I say Andy Zaltzman's sense of humour is largely based on just... lies:

I love the Zaltzman lies, but it's so hard to find other comedians with whom they can fit into a panel show setting. Alex Horne might just be that guy, I look forward to hearing them go back and forth on Taskmaster.

And one more audio clip for this post:

That's from the end of last week's Bugle episode, with Andy bringing his usual level of smooth self-promotional skills to the plugging portion of the recording. The first of what should be many times that he has to plug his Taskmaster appearance, and I hope every single one is exactly that awkward. I'm also pleased to hear Nish Kumar and Tom Ballard will be the next guests, partly because they're an excellent combination and I don't think they've been on together in about a year, but mainly because those are two people who will not let Andy get away with not acknowledging that he's on Taskmaster now. This will be fun.

[talaofthevalley]

if it hasn't been asked already. revolver for the ask game? your postings are fun to read

smacks my desk MY BOY, THANK YOU FOR GIVING HIM TO ME. also thank you that's so sweet of you to say

Why I like them/why I don’t Where do I even start-

He's one of the most honourable characters in the whole franchise. He's ridiculously composed, that the few times he's rattled you know it's significant. He's carrying the sins of his father like they're his own, even though he was eight when the incident happened. But it's like he understands he's the only one who can carry that burden and deliver closure to the ones affected because he wasn't one of the perpetrators, but was still involved and wrapped up in it all.

But he's also a dork who strikes poses during duels. His deck consists of gun and bullet dragons. He's so extra and camp in the best way and is never not taken as a very serious threat. He's one of the strongest duelists in the show. He doesn't consider himself a victim of anything. He was willing to die at the end of S1. He regularly finds the villain of the arc/his enemies first and almost murks them. He's connected to flower and ocean imagery. He gave one of the most beautiful description about loved ones who has passed away I've ever heard. He cares So Much but isn't the best at showing it, yet can help in just the way others need. He hates himself so damn much. But does not let that get in the way of what he believes needs to be done. But he's not completely close-minded either.

Ryoken's just such an amasing character. I love him so much.

What I like about their appearance Everything Since I did the same for Aoi I'll do both his real world and LV designs.

Ryoken: Gorg. Beautiful beautiful boy. I love the soft tones used for his eyes and the blue in his hair. The feathery side bangs are so pretty. And I'm so weak for white hair. I'm not above to admitting I'm not fond of his outfit, but that's just because it's very far from my taste in clothes. I don't think it's as bad as people claim it is though. Love his pink shirt, and that his colour scheme overall in the real world is very soft-toned and almost pastel in contrast to the bolder colours used in his avatar. And of course the eyes, and the eyelashes. My god he is so pretty.

Revolver S1: I like this design! I do think it's usurped by his second avatar, but they share a majority of the same elements and design points, so I'll cover those in the next part. I think his mask is pretty cool ngl, and it's Very yummy to chew on for analysis. The red hair with lighter shades running up the sides looks great as well.

Revolver S2-3: I do think this is just, an absolutely banging design. The way it's separated into parts through use of colours and lines. Love the long gloves, and the coat is so cool, it really adds to his presence. The second avatar did a good I think by adding these cut-ins at the hips to give it more definition and volume.

The new hair colour is really good too, adds another change besides the mask showing more of his face to show his growth from the last time we saw him. Like a visual sign he's mellowed out after the breakdown he had in the S1 finale. Especially love the grey-violet eye colour they gave him, it's really nice. And that visor.... I know it's a crime they hide half of his beautiful face, but it's also so exciting to catch glimpses of his fringe under it. And it does look cool, I can't lie.

And of course I have to point out the bullet earrings. Top tier design. Just immaculate. It's so distinct and memorable. It even got made into official merch. Just iconic.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names? His name only gets a letter hacked off in the dub, thankfully, but I cannot take Varis seriously. It's a bit silly, but also in my first language it's spelled and sounds very close to a word for something less than pleasant =_=

OTP Datastormshipping my beloved, datastorm my everything. I can say so much about them but it would make this post even longer.

NOTP Datastorm is such an otp to me that I don't romantically ship either Ryoken or Yusaku with any other character. I don't think anything comes close to NOTP status for me with Ryoken though.

OT3 But I can accept Ai into the mix, since I see him and Yusaku as very queerplatonic.

Favourite card they use Am I basic if I say Borreload Dragon. I love that giant gun boy so much. The colour scheme is very nice, especially with the contrasting teal wings.

But also. Mirror Force is so iconic. It is SO FUNNY they had Revolver use Mirror Force and built it up so much. And for Link monsters it technically is! They can't be put in defense position! How effective it is makes it even funnier. You know he was having a blast blindsiding people with all these old trap cards.

Favourite moment they were in I can't pick one oh god-

Okay but, seriously I can't pick just one. He has so many good moments over the course of the show. All the duels against Yusaku. The first irl conversation he has with Yusaku. First time using Storm Access. Crashing the Ignis reunion party and curbstomping Windy into putty. The due against Lightning. The AFTERMATH of the duel against Lightning. Both duels against Takeru. The final scene between Ryoken and Yusaku. Yeah no I can't pick one. And a lot of his best moments are built from past scenes and the development he's had across the show.

Least favourite moment None, my perfect boy has done nothing wrong in his whole life- /j

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 7!

My original expected chapter count for this fic was 7 (one stanza of “The Song of the Seven” for each chapter title), but as I started increasing the number, I realized I needed to get creative with chapter titles. For this chapter, I picked the penultimate lyric “close your eyes, you shall not fall” because much of the chapter consists of Aegon helping Jace not “fall” into a further downward spiral, and there’s a certain amount of faith required by all parties that everything is going to be OK in the end.

Originally, Jace’s road to recovery was going to be even rougher than in the final version. She refuses to eat or drink anything, and her family gets pretty desperate to the point of doing stupid things to get her to eat. But I felt like that was unnecessary angst and trauma, and she’s already been through enough, so I dialed it back.

Similarly, she was going to have bad perinatal depression up until and after she gave birth, and there was a sequence where she refused to even hold Cheeseball for some time after he was born. But again, it made me feel like I was whumping on Jace and Aegon for unnecessary pain, so I focused more on the “comfort” rather than the “hurt” part.

This chapter is in Aegon’s POV because it was originally supposed to be the second half of Chapter 6 before I realized it was way too long. After I cut it in half, I debated rewriting it in Jace’s POV, but she’s stuck inside her head a lot this chapter whereas Aegon has a lot more action and growth. We return to Jace in Chapter 8 when she’s feeling more like herself but still recovering.

Orwyle is not a popular character in the fandom, which is understandable. He only gets like one minute of screen time, but that one minute made me think a lot about his character. When he’s a junior maester, he suggests a new poultice to try on Viserys instead of the traditional leeching method, and he shows a bit of doctorly compassion to Rhaenys when Vaemond’s body is being prepared. In the book, Orwyle’s defining trait is that he’s cowardly (he literally rewrites history to make himself look better to the Blacks, and he flees from the ship taking him to the Wall). But I was intrigued by how he ends up working at a mid-level brothel and teaches the girls there to read (how he gets caught later). He didn’t have to teach them how to read, but he chose to anyway (to his own detriment).

Overall I consider Orwyle as someone who’s very talented at his job (healing and teaching), and is actually a pretty empathetic person (good quality in a doctor), but he’s not strong-willed and is willing to cave on his principles to stay alive. Not exactly a villain, definitely not a hero either. So he’s going to do his job and do it well, regardless of his patient (especially in this AU verse where there’s less conflict).

After three years in the Stepstones, I’d be shocked if Aegon didn’t learn first aid (same with Aemond). He’s not necessarily interested in healing and such, but he’s capable of basic combat-adjacent medical tasks. So he knows how to clean and bandage wounds, and he can recognize common healing herbs.

I don’t think I need to explain that Westeros has a pretty poor understanding of mental health and doesn’t know what therapy is 😅. For most people who’ve undergone trauma, they would probably be told “carry on, as you were, etc” and they have to just “get over it.” But Jace is a princess who doesn’t have to worry about earning a living, has an overprotective husband, and is pregnant with a very important baby so her health and comfort are of paramount importance. So she luckily has a supportive environment dedicated to her recovery.

As is stated later in the chapter/fic, Jace fires her remaining LIWs because she’s convinced herself that it’s her fault they were injured/killed, and sending them away from her service will keep them safe. Irrational to be sure, but Jace has always been prone to blaming herself for things. She’s also worried that firing the LIWs will reflect poorly on them, hence her trying to compensate them monetarily. But the offer is insulting to Rhaena, who acts as a LIW primarily out of love. If Jace were more herself, she would’ve realized the implications of her offer equating Rhaena’s love/loyalty with a monetary value.

Initially, Jace’s list of “safe people” is very short: Aegon and Luce. Aegon is self-explanatory. Of all her sisters, only Luce makes the initial list because a) they’ve always been very close and b) Luce was there when they found Jace at the Garden, so there’s an added feeling of security. Although Aemond was also at the Garden, he isn’t on the list because their prior relationship wasn’t nearly as close as the other two.

When Rhaenyra touches Jace’s face while trying to feed her, Jace flips out because the Tyroshi grabbed her face when forcing down the dreamwine and later during his attempt with moon tea.

A little irony in Aegon offering to be Jace’s taste tester, when you think about how he dies in F&B 😢.

During Chapter 7 of the Handbook, Luce picks up three dragonglass daggers from the blacksmith. I mentioned them in the Handbook commentaries, but I’ll reiterate that she intended for Jace, herself, and Joff to each have one, as the three full-blooded daughters of Rhaenyra and Laenor. Jace clearly hasn’t been using her dagger, except to display it on her mantel maybe.

Daemon has decided to develop an emergency protocol in case any of the Targ girls are kidnapped again. I’ve been debating writing a oneshot about it.

Castle kitchens are hot, loud, messy places, and a princess would have no reason to ever go there. In a castle as large as the Red Keep, there are probably multiple kitchens. I imagine the Holdfast has a king’s privy kitchen and queen’s privy kitchen solely for prepping their food, and probably other kitchens too. I imagine the largest kitchens to be in the main part of the Red Keep, and that’s where Aegon puts Gyles and Ronnel. It’s a longer walk to get the pies to Jace and Aegon, but Gyles and Ronnel have a much wider social circle of other servants. It’s also where Aegon has his little office of petitions, and he likes being able to run out and grab pies whenever he wants.

Gyles and Ronnel are used to Aegon, so they’re relatively chummy with him. But they’ve never met Jace before, have only ever seen her at 1000% gorgeousness during her wedding parade, and have heard plenty of Aegon’s stories about how perfect she is. Of course they treat her with more respect and awe than they treat Aegon 😛.

I like to think that Ronnel does become a knight one day, and he wins a tourney in Jace’s name 🥰. And he’d probably take on a house name like Baker to honor his father.

I was trying to figure out how orange juice was made before things like juicers were invented. England had cider presses for apples, but citrus wasn’t really a thing for them back in the Middle Ages. Eventually I stumbled across the citrus reamer, which is definitely something they could’ve carved/created back in the day, but I COULD NOT get over how phallic it looked 😂. Naturally, Aegon finds it hilarious. I’m debating whether Gyles truly is innocent or if he’s messing with Aegon and has a great poker face.

I lingered on the details of how the pies are made because it’s important that Jace sees the process for herself and internalizes that pies are safe foods, they aren’t drugged, Gyles is trustworthy, etc.

I wanted to make sure that Jace wasn’t in a depressed, traumatized torpor all the time, because that isn’t how it works. She can have “good” moments when she’s moving around and seems normal, and then there can be “bad” moments when something triggers her, or she’s having an off day, and she spirals. The important thing is that she’s overall making progress, and it’s OK if she has days when she takes a few steps back.

We got more info in Chapter 8 on what Jace and Luce talk about in the garden. Luce is thinking about her upcoming nameday, which is the earliest date that Rhaenyra will allow her to be betrothed. But then there’s another year until her sixteenth nameday, when Rhaenyra will allow her to get married. Luce is pretty impatient, so she wants to figure out how much canoodling she can get away with during the year in between. So she asks Jace, because she’s positive Aegon didn’t keep his hands entirely to himself before the official wedding 😏.

Aegon is now very loath to ever let Jace out of his sight again, unless he’s 100% sure she’s safe in their room. The Joff incident in Chapter 9 probably doesn’t help.

Luce always haggles, even if it’s about how much distance Aegon has to stay behind her and Jace.

Aegon immediately gets bored of guard duty. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some form of ADHD: Impulsive, restless, moody, hyperfixation (usually on Jace, but he can get really into his sleuthing).

Hypersexuality sometimes occurs after trauma/sexual violence, hence Jace’s uncharacteristic behavior after the garden scene. And knowing Jace, she’s probably (wrongfully) blaming herself somehow for “leading on” the Tyroshi.

Luce heard the Langward knight gossiping about Jace and got upset, then Aemond beat up the knight to make her feel better, as one does.

Court life means people are always going to gossip and run with the most salacious rumor possible, and it reignites Aegon’s desire for a private life, where he and Jace can live according to their own devices without worrying about what other people think. Unless he pulls a Maegor, he can’t do anything to stop the courtiers from acting like courtiers. So he comes up with the Dragonstone solution, but it’s only a temporary solution. As Otto says in Chapter 10, they are inextricably a part of the game, and Aegon and Jace can only hide away in Dragonstone for so long.

When they were kids, Aegon came up with many plans that got them all in trouble, so Luce recognizes the face he makes 😝.

Aegon has a very soldier mindset of “just pack some clothes and leave,” without thinking about how complicated it is to actually pack a princess’ household. Luckily Luce knocks some sense into him!

I don’t know what winter roses are supposed to look like except that they’re blue, but I liked the idea of petals close together huddling for warmth. And I completely made up Valyrian roses. Not sure if they actually came from Valyria or if it’s named just for the appearance.

Despite everything that happened, Jace is STILL WORKING 😭. What else do we expect from a girl who worked on her wedding night, I guess…

KL has a well system (it’s a big deal during Jaehaerys’s reign), but I imagine the public wells and fountains get real dirty real fast, especially in poorer parts of the city. When Jace was at the Garden, I imagine the girls had limited clean water to offer her for drinking and washing because they have to walk pretty far for good water. So Jace is thinking about that as she writes her well cleaning proposal.

I’ve been thinking a while about writing an Otto POV fic, and one of the ideas I jotted down for myself was that Otto is secretly a nerd about public infrastructure and sanitation. Oldtown seems to be a much cleaner and better run city than KL. I like to think about Otto adopting pet projects that make the capital less smelly and dirty. So Otto is naturally a supporter of a well cleaning project, and I’ve mentioned before that he likes Jace. Also he’s very invested in the pregnancy being successful, so he’ll do his part to reduce stressors.

Once again, the key to influencing/manipulating Jace is not by appealing to her own desires, but by appealing to the happiness and well-being of her loved ones. Aegon knows this, and it’s a good thing he adores her too much to use this power for evil.

Aegon’s household is basically just Gyles and Ronnel, so his departure preparations are quick. I’m sure he has personal servants assigned to him who handle his laundry and such, but he probably bribed them years ago to leave him alone so he can have privacy and sneak out. And he became rather self-sufficient in the Stepstones (although as royalty, he would’ve had servants there too for menial stuff), so he doesn’t want anyone helping him dress or shave or bathe or whatnot.

Aemond is such a bro, holding down a knight so Aegon can beat him up 🥲. Aegon knows Jace would disapprove of him breaking someone’s jaw for gossiping so he’s careful not to leave any evidence on his person.

Aegon also knows how to push Aemond’s buttons, so he easily convinces Aemond to join the Dragonstone vacation. Aemond would probably have invited himself anyway once he found out about the guest list.

While Jace has been reducing the governing work she does during pregnancy, Rhaenyra has been doing more of it. In canon, Rhaenyra seems content to isolate herself with her family at Dragonstone, so I carried over that attitude of savoring domestic bliss into this verse. But here, Jace is an overachiever, and I think her example kickstarts Rhaenyra into being more active too. So Rhaenyra has work obligations, and social ones as she’s been ingratiating herself at court again. It would be difficult to pack up her entire household (much larger than Jace and Aegon’s) and disappear to Dragonstone for 2-3 months, so she can’t immediately leave like the kids can.

Like Aegon, Rhaenyra is a bit paranoid now about letting Jace out of her sight. She’s also had a longstanding petty grudge about Jace picking Aegon as her #1, so she strongly disapproves of Aegon’s plan to take Jace away, even though Dragonstone is very close and technically her castle.

Aegon is not what I’d call emotionally mature, and he’s a troublemaker by nature. So he deliberately responds to Rhaenyra with things he knows she’ll hate hearing. And in the end, he forces Rhaenyra’s hand by telling Jace “of course Rhaenyra would love for us to go to Dragonstone” 😇.

Poor Daeron is too pure for Daemon’s Torture 101 class. Meanwhile Joff has an avid clinical interest in human anatomy, and Daemon is having the time of his life. Targ family bonding!

The Tyroshi put a collar on Jace, so Daemon put a collar on him to make things fair.

The Tyroshi knows he’s never going to escape, and he’s already endured an awful amount of torture/mutilation. At this point his goal is to die swiftly, so he tries to provoke Aegon into killing him.

I haven’t 100% decided the Tyroshi’s backstory, but I’m imagining him coming from one of the powerful conclave families in Tyrosh. There was absolutely no need for him to go to Westeros and make money through usury and slavery; he chose to because he thought it’d be fun to “get one over” the Targaryens by conducting a trafficking ring in their own capital (I imagine Tyrosh having an ancestral hatred of Valyrians, even though a lot of their culture was inherited from them as a result of being part of their empire). Just in case it wasn’t clear what kind of sadistic sociopathic person he is.

Joff has been brooding a lot about Laenor’s death ever since they found Old Willow, and now her guilt is carrying over into recent events with Jace.

We will learn more about the wet nurse in Aegon’s memory in future fics 👀. She calls him “Uncrowned One” because in this verse, he’ll be another Aegon the Uncrowned.

“Three children you shall have with your wife, black or green or something in between.” In canon, Aegon has three kids with Helaena. In this verse…well, I feel like I’ve dropped a lot of foreshadowing about him and Jace 😊. “In between” refers to how there isn’t a strong black/green divide in this verse, but there’s a new faction (gold) that includes people on both sides.

“All of them shall break like your legs and wings.” In canon, all of Aegon and Helaena’s children die terribly, and Aegon and Sunfyre end up crippled. In this verse, there is a close call during Cheeseball’s birth; if the maester and midwives had chosen to save Jace, the process for extracting a stuck baby is really gruesome.

“Unless you keep this little shadow close to the sun.” Jace has gotten a lot of sun imagery in this fic, and Joff is kinda obviously the shadow. It’s because of Joff’s intervention that the birth ends well. So there’s a way to avoid the “broken” part of the prophecy, but the condition must be met.

Aegon is a skeptic when it comes to witchcraft and prophecy, but there’s a reason his subconscious brings to the memory at this moment. Don’t leave Joff behind!

Aemond finds it extremely undignified that Vhagar, the largest dragon in the world and a veteran of multiple military conflicts, has been relegated to delivering baggage.

The stained dancing slippers that Jace finds in her room at Dragonstone are the same slippers that someone (Luce) accidentally ruins in Chapter 3 of the Handbook.

Valyria is strongly inspired by Classical Greece and Rome, so I decided to give them Roman-style bathhouses, which were often decorated with mosaics and has a hot room, warm room, and cold room. The Targs (or whoever built the castle) imported this to Dragonstone, and the volcano means they can get hot water very easily. Aegon was in the guest quarters last time he visited so this is his first time seeing the family bathhouse.

Some commenters suggested that Luce and Aemond are probably canoodling during their trips to the Dragonmont. There might be some of that going on, but Aemond is a huge dragon nerd, so I can imagine him geeking out about exploring the Dragonmont while Luce is disgruntled about him being oblivious to her attempts to make out 😂.

Gerardys is hoping that Jace will be OK with him and the midwives helping her by the time it’s time to give birth. But in case she isn’t OK, he decides to put one of the Targ girls on a midwifery fast-track. He picks Baela because she’s the strongest of the bunch, and acting as a midwife can be very physically exhausting.

Meanwhile, the mysterious bangs in the tower are Joff and Daeron trying to figure out ways to light the glass candle. This involves blowing up some stuff along the way.

Hyrkoon the Hero is part of ASOIAF lore, one of the potential alternative names for Azor Ahai. I decided that he’s the main character in quite a few fairy tales/myths, and every hero needs a sidekick. I invented the sidekick Santus the Swine by combining a half-pig character in Chinese folklore and Don Quixote’s Sancho Panza (whose name is supposedly derived from the Latin Sanctus), and it wasn’t until afterwards that I thought about the Pink Dread (which never happened in this universe because Jace stopped Aegon). I guess Aemond really can’t escape the pig references in any universe 🐷.

Anyway, Aegon’s really lucky he didn’t get himself and baby Jace killed when he shoved their wagon down their stairs. And Jace not being cut by the Iron Throne is a sign, maybe??? 👀👀👀 And yes, there is much symbolism in little Aegon helping baby Jace climb up the throne 🥺.

Chapter 8 commentary here

[yellowjacketsfashion]

if you could laura lee’s party outfit from the Pilot? thank yu☀️

I haven’t been able to find exact matches but here is what I’ve been able to find.

Costume designer Marie Schley said they used vintage pieces in the Pilot and so I’m pretty sure Laura Lee’s dress is a vintage house dress (also known as a shirtwaist dress). I think it’s a house dress because of the buttons and huge pockets as those are common features of this kind of dress.

House dresses were popular throughout the 1900s so I’m not sure the exact year(s) or time period it was made but I think the one Laura Lee wears could be from the 1970s. I’m guessing it’s from the 70s because of its length and overall vibe but it could very well be from a different time frame.

Here are some examples of House Dresses:

Far Left: 1950s “Selfridge's” house dress

Middle: 1960s or 1970s floral house dress

Far Right: 1970s “John Kloss for Cira” house dress

While some of the dresses I found featured tags from brands, these dresses were popular in a time when making your own clothes was more common so it’s easy to find handmade dresses like these as well (if you wanted to you could probably use a vintage pattern to make one similar to Laura Lee’s dress).

I know these weren’t super close matches to Laura Lee’s dress (specifically color or pattern wise) but I wanted to show some different House Dresses throughout the years as examples of the consistent style of the dress.

If you don’t want to mess with any of that though, here are some easier to find modern Close Matches:

Left: Lucky Brand “Cream Floral Shirtwaist Dress.”

This dress is shorter than Laura Lee’s dress but has a similar color palette and features similar button details.

Right: Monteau “Yellow Floral dress with brown buttons.”

This dress is longer than the Lucky Brand dress (therefore closer to the length of Laura Lee’s dress) however it has a tiered skirt which is different from the original dress. But like the Lucky Brand dress, it also has a similar color palette and button detailing to Laura Lee’s dress.

Laura Lee’s jacket seems like a standard Yellow Denim jacket and there’s lots of those out there so I couldn’t really narrow it down much. In that case, here are some close matches:

Left: LifeShe “Women's Basic Button Down Denim Jean Jacket” on Amazon.

Link:

Right: Gap “Yellow Denim Jacket.”

I hope this was helpful! I know I couldn’t find the exact items she wore but hopefully you should be able to recreate the look with the information I’ve provided. :)

[lazyvase]

TMNT LEGENDS: Class Fit Ranking 5 (Final)

There are five classes in TMNT LEGENDS: cunning, might, tech, spirit, and swift. These classifications are largely inconsequential, for they don’t affect stats and abilities. All they determine is how much damage you do to an enemy, and how much damage an enemy does to you.

As such, I can rate the matchup between a character and a class purely superficially. All I need to consider is the character and the connotations of the word. We may also consider the characters they are weak and strong against (class wise) if need be.

The matches will be graded 1 through 5. 1 meaning that they should’ve been a different class. 5 meaning that they must be this class.

Today we go over:

CUNNING

Karai: 5/5. I'm almost tempted to put the "Gee. I wonder if the class based specifically on this character will be the perfect fit." copypaste phrase here. The cunning class fits Karai to a T. She's constantly outwitting and outmaneuvering her opponents. She gets Leo with the smoke in the eyes trick three times. Speaking of Leo, Karai is also able to manipulate him through... methods. Regardless, when I think of cunning, I think of Karai. I especially like how this means that each one of the Hamato siblings are a different class. You can have them all on one balanced team.

Shinigami: 5/5. Now one would think that Shinigami would be in spirit class. After all, she is a witch. However, she doesn't use magic all that often, or at the very least nothing impressive or useful. The closest she gets to a magic based attack is summoning bats at Super Shredder, and trying to use hypnosis on Tiger Claw. Her magical prowess is rather lacking. However, what little prowess she does have is used to mess with and trick her foes. Her tactics and tricks consistently give her an edge. And for that, she goes into cunning. Also, obviously the Karai connection.

Fishface: 5/5. Originally I though Fishface should have been Might instead. But after some consideration, I realized that cunning fits him better. Fishface has no shortage of cunning due to his life-long experience as a thief. Fishface showcases his cunning ability through his manipulation of Jason and his whole Mr. X charade. He also proved his cunning by ditching the Foot Clan when zombie shredder showed up. Furthermore, Fishface being in the cunning class also acknowledges his dynamics. Being in cunning, Fishface is a counter to Raph, reflecting their rivalry. Also, Fishface is countered by Rahzar, reflecting their distaste for one another.

Stockman-Fly: 3/5. More smart than cunning. Some of Stockman’s greatest scientific work is done as a fly. However, his plans never go well. He doesn’t get demutated. His bug army fails. He demutated when he realizes he doesn’t want to be demutated. His mutation of Shredder has major downsides. Overall he's more of a scientist than a schemer.

Chris Bradford: 1/5. While he was able to fool Mikey for a bit (which is not difficult at all), he ultimately dropped the ball. A common occurrence for him. Most of his plans fail. Especially his attempt to take the turtles down with him. That backfired incredibly for him.

Pizza Face: 4/5. Very effective plan. He had the whole city on lock.

Shredder: 4/5. Shredder has had no shortage of schemes to take down the turtles and Splinter. And while he's often short-sighted. He's typically one step ahead of the turtles. The alliance with the Kraang. The creation of more mutants. The whole Karai-bomb trick.

Rat King: 5/5. While there's a good argument for him being in the Spirit class due to his psychic powers, ultimately he belongs in the Cunning class due to his manipulation of Splinter. He knows exactly which buttons to press. Not to mention as Victor Falco he did a pretty good job of fooling the turtles.

Armaggon: 2/5. While a skilled foe, Armaggon is no schemer. His plan to use the abandoned space station blew up in his face. His mere presence jeopardized his attempt at stealing a piece of the black hole generator. But in all fairness, who's idea was it to hack into Raph and Mona's emails? This guy.

Bebop (Bunny): 2/5. It's not 1/5 because:

Casey Jones (Movie): 2/5. You know, he's gonna be a detective someday. In all seriousness, throughout the movie he consistently outsmarts Bebop and Rocksteady (world’s lowest bar). He also got the drop on the police chief twice. While Movie Casey has a tendency to outsmart his foes, his targets aren’t exactly impressive. I mean, a rhino and 2 pigs? Come on.

Donatello (LARP): 1/5. HE IS LITERALLY CASTING SPELLS (in game). HE SHOULD BE SPIRIT. This is at least excusable

Leonardo (Original): 4/5. Being the leader takes cunning.

Shredder (Classic): 1/5. Krang has said it better than I ever could and more times than I can even count: “You metallic moron!”. Shredder at least tries to have successful plans.

Slash: 4/5. At first thought, one would think Slash is Might, what with being massive and having a huge spike ball. However, him being cunning makes sense. In his first appearance he was doing horror movie shit to the turtles. He was incredibly efficient in taking them down. He even was somehow able to perfectly imitate Leo's voice. And once he becomes the leader of the Mighty Mutanimals, he becomes even more cunning. He starts strategizing and having plans. As said before, being the leader takes cunning.

Steranko: 2/5. His scheme to get out of the city with Karai as a bargaining chip was pretty smart. But it backfired horribly of course.

Splinter: 0/5. Let's start with the positives first.

Splinter has proven himself to be cunning. He easily outwits some of the turtles' toughest foes. His class parallels him with Shredder. He and his daughter are in the same class. You can have a balanced team with all four turtles and Splinter.

Time for the negatives:

WHY IS HE NOT SPIRIT

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!??!?!!!!!??!?!??!?!?!?!

HE'S LITERALLY THE MOST SPIRITUAL CHARACTER ON THE THE SHOW. HEALING HANDS. CONSTANT MEDITATION. ASTRAL PROJECTION. FORESHADOWING SENSES. BEING ABLE TO CONNECT TO LEO AFTER DEATH.

AND SPEAKING OF LEO. WE ALL KNOW THEIR BOND IS THE CLOSEST. MAKING SPLINTER SPIRIT ALSO ACKNOWLEDGES THAT CONNECTION.

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUAAAAAA-

Sorry about that. I must have LOST myself there for a moment.

Conclusion

Total score: 3/5. While cunning has some sure fits. There are also some egregious misses.

Much like Spirit. Cunning is kinda a dumping ground for when the developers don't know where to put a character. That doesn't excuse the misses though.

And there we go! I've rated all the characters in terms of how they well they fit into their class. I don't know what else I can say about TMNT Legends. But sooner or later I'll figure something out.

[ohforficsakelibrary]

You Brought Me Poison Flowers

Chapter 4: Echinacea - Echinacea was used by American Indians* as an offering to spirits to ensure and strengthen spells.

prev / series masterlist / masterlist

Series Summary: Joel and Ellie settle into life in Jackson, one more easily than the other, until Joel is reminded of what normal feels like. The kind of normal that he perhaps never had. A series of one-shot glimpses into a relationship (no true plot here, people.) Soft!Joel. Two touch-starved babes. Slow-ish burn.

Chapter subtitles taken from Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham. Although herbal preparations are consistent with historic uses, nothing herein is to be construed as medical advice.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Herbalist!OFC (age-appropriate age gap)

Word Count: ~6.9K

Rating: Explicit 18+ overall, no smut in this part, but if you're a fan of the one sleeping bag trope you may enjoy this. Minors DNI.

A/N: Of snake bites and chilly nights and subconsciously cradling someone in your sleep.

I know next to nothing about horses and my apologies if anything is off on that front. Again, get thee to a doctor or a vet and don't rely on fanfiction you read one time. You live in a world with antivenom.

I think I've messed with the timeline of Tommy's arrival in Jackson a bit, so your squinting and ignoring that is much appreciated.

*Cunningham's original terminology, not mine

Joel decides to swing by the shop in the late afternoon when he's back from patrol.

He has to return the book he finished, he needs more coffee, and he found real yarrow today to trade for it. He’s sure this time.

You know. Lest anyone think he's here because he spilled all over himself thinking of her last night.

“Hey, Joel,” Lennie calls from where she’s bent down to better see the level of liquid she’s pouring into a brown dropper bottle. Mrs. Spencer stands at the bar and throws a wave at him over her shoulder that he politely returns as he takes a seat at the large table.

Lennie mixes two more liquids into the jar and turns it over.

“Four to five drops, four times a day. Throw it in a glass of water if the taste is too strong. If he’s not feeling any better in three to four days, swing back and I’ll see what I can do.”

Mrs. Spencer accepts and passes over three beeswax taper candles in return before her absence sees the two of them alone in the shop again. 

Joel crosses the floor with flowers and book in hand as Lennie caps and returns jars to the shelf behind her.

“I got it right this time,” he says, self-satisfied smirk on his face. 

“So you did,” she grins.

“But I will need some more of your coffee in return.” He sets his empty jar in front of her.

“Done.” 

She makes quick work of refilling the jar. Too quick.

Because now they’re done here and his brain is dancing through excuses to stay. 

“Hey, Joel?”

He looks up from where he’s been watching her fingers bind yarrow with twine. 

“Yeah, Lennie?”

“Would you consider, maybe, ha…”

Ellie bursts through the front door, breathless.

“Lennie, Tommy’s horse got bit, they need you.” She sucks in gasps of air. An emissary sent to deliver bad news.

They both tense.

“Where, Ellie?” Lennie finds her wits before Joel.

“Out by…”

“No, where on her did she get bit?”

“I dunno exactly…”

“Face or legs.”

“Face, from the sound of it.”

“Ah shit.” Lennie drops behind the bar, filling the air with the clank of clattering metal and scraping wood. “How far behind you are they?”

“Maybe five minutes.”

“Ellie, is Tommy ok?” Joel pipes up. He’s not sure what exactly did the biting, but he has an idea. Rattlers aren’t uncommon around these parts. 

“Yeah, he’s fine,” she has her hands on her knees now.

Lennie reappears and swings around the bar, two clear tubes in her hand.

“Ellie, remember that plant I showed you? Broad leaves, grows in a rosette?”

“Plantain, yeah.”

“I need you to gather as much of it as you can,” she tosses a canvas bag to Ellie, “the biggest leaves you can find, rip the whole thing out if you have to. Do that now, go.”

Immediately, Ellie is out the door.

“Joel, grab me a pint jar and lid off that back shelf,” she cocks her head towards the sink as she pulls a massive half-gallon mason jar from a shelf above her head.

“I got it,” Joel picks up on her train of thought and moves behind the bar to decant the brown liquid into the smaller jar while she grabs scraps of cloth and a spoon and stuffs them into the pockets of her jeans.

There’s a commotion outside and she grabs the tubes. Joel grabs the jar and follows her out the door. 

“Where’d she get bit, Tommy,” Lennie asks, taking the horse’s reins from him. It’s redundant, she can see the swelling already beginning on Gloria’s muzzle. 

“Her nose, we were out at the dam on foot, had the horses tied up, and we think it took her by surprise in the grass.”

“You bring it?”

“In my bag, she stomped it real good.”

“Alright, you know what I’m gonna ask for when this is over.” 

“Get my girl through and it’s all yours.” 

“You okay?” Joel nods at Tommy.

“Yeah, man.”

Tommy is concerned, but calm. Something about it tugs at Joel but he doesn’t have time to register why.

The rest of the patrol team has closed in now and townspeople are beginning to filter into the street, whispers of what happened pinging through the crowd. Maria emerges from the laundromat, baby strapped to her chest, and comes to stand near them.

Lennie absently hands off the tubes to Joel.

“Okay, okay, hey sweet girl,” she coos as the horse flares its nostrils in an attempt to suck in breath. She immediately starts unbuckling the bridle and hands it to whoever takes it, Tommy this time. “It’s okay momma, I’ve got you.” She presses her forehead to the white star between the horse’s eyes and pauses for a moment. 

Joel swears Gloria relaxes and presses her head back against Lennie.

“Ok, G, this is gonna suck, but I have to put these tubes in your nose, ok? We have to make sure you can breathe, sweet girl. Joel, let me get those,” Lennie gestures to the tubes. 

“Tommy, Joel, hold her steady, yeah? She goes to strike, back away. She goes to rear, let her. She’s gonna toss her head a bit, that’s fine, let her do what she needs to.” Lennie holds one tube between her teeth and rubs her free hand under Gloria’s chin.

Joel hands the jar of liquid to Maria and positions himself against Gloria’s left shoulder, one hand in her mane, the other around the front of her neck, while Tommy moves around the opposite side to mirror his pose, grabbing the saddle horn. Lennie stands first on Joel’s side, gently passing her fingers over Gloria’s right nostril, telegraphing what she’s about to do. 

“On three, boys,” it’s muffled through the tube in her mouth as she braces one leg behind the other. “One, two, three.”

Lennie passes one tube cleanly up Gloria’s right nostril before the horse has time to react. All three of them manage to get clear while she tosses and shakes her head at the intrusion.

“Okay, one more.” They each take their positions again and Lennie moves to stand on Tommy’s side to repeat the process. Everyone manages to get clear before Gloria strikes and stamps as she shakes her head. 

“More sensitive on that side, hold on to her,” Lennie nods at Tommy who again grabs the saddle horn. She’s left an inch and a half of tubing protruding from each nostril and Gloria snorts a few times before her breathing evens out.

“I got it!” Ellie comes running out from behind the laundromat and straight to Lennie, thrusting the canvas bag into her hands.

“This is perfect, Ellie, thank you,” she rips off a handful of leaves and shoves them into her mouth. “Find me two or three of the biggest single leaves you can out of that,” she mumbles through a full mouth and hands the bag back over. “Joel, soak two strips of that cloth in tincture for me.” He takes the wad of linen from Lennie and the jar from Maria and returns soaked fabric.

“Hold her, Joel,” she tips her chin towards the horse and Ellie takes the contents of his hands before Joel again presses his chest to the horse’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around her neck.

Lennie squeezes liquid from one cloth into the horse’s mouth and gestures to Ellie for leaves, which she arranges on the wrung out cloth. She spits into the leaves and squeezes the fresh cloth into the poultice. 

“Alright, sweet girl.” Lennie gingerly wipes the bite down before pressing the poultice against it.

Gloria again relaxes into her hand.

Maria makes eye contact with Tommy as the baby starts to fuss. He nods and Maria slips away.

“Okay, sweet girl. Okay. Let’s get her back to the stable.” She keeps her hand over the poultice as she and Tommy guide the horse back home, Joel and Ellie following close behind.

When she’s settled back into her stall, Lennie applies more tincture to the cloth to keep the poultice in place.

“I’ll have to re-dose her every hour and refresh the poultice at about the same. It’ll be a long night, but she’ll be just fine, Tommy.” Lennie reassures. “You all should head out to Mess before they stop serving.”

“You should go first, I’ll stay with her.” Tommy chimes in.

“Tommy, you know I can’t leave her.”

He searches Lennie’s eyes. He’s known her long enough to know that she cares too much.

“Alright, alright ok. I’ll bring dinner back for you.”

“Show me her feed too, I’m sure she’s hungry.”

Tommy and Lennie abscond to another part of the stable leaving Joel and Ellie to exchange looks.

Neither of them have any idea what’s going on, and yet both can see that Lennie knows exactly what she’s doing.

“Plantain soothes and repairs tissue,” Ellie offers, echoing what Lennie had taught her. “By the way, why were you in the shop today?”

“I needed more coffee.” 

Ellie nods in a way that tells him she doesn’t fully buy into his story.

“Alright, Ellie, you come with me, we’ll go get dinner, Joel, you don’t mind staying to help Len, do you? We’ll bring food back for you both.” Tommy directs. 

Lennie glances quickly at Joel and then at Tommy. She knows what’s going unsaid.

“Yeah. Yeah of course.” Joel says.

“Bring extra apples.” Lennie calls after them and runs a hand through her hair.

Lennie and Joel work in comfortable silence to remove Gloria’s saddle and feed her dinner mixed with tincture by hand to keep her from upsetting the tubes in her nose. When they’re through, Joel brushes her down as Lennie refreshes the poultice.

Tommy and Ellie return an hour later with two trays of beef stew and bread, apples piled on each. After Lennie reassures Tommy that there’s nothing he need do here tonight, he stretches and rubs the back of his neck before pulling Joel aside.

“Hey, uh, I hate to put this on you, but are you good to stay with her tonight? Here, to help her? I don’t want to leave Maria to take care of the baby on her own for too long, otherwise I’d do it. If not, it's not a problem, knock on my door when you tap out and I’ll come down…”

“Tommy, it’s fine, whatever you two need. I’ll stay and help her out, it’s not a problem.”

“Alright. Alright, ok,” Tommy scrubs one hand down his face and claps Joel on the back with another.

“Ellie, you should head out too,” Joel tosses his head in Tommy’s direction. 

“Are you kidding me? Len’s treating a fucking rattlesnake bite, you think I’m gonna miss that?”

Joel glances at Lennie, who shrugs and takes a seat on the floor to start on dinner. 

“Alright fine. You can stay through the next dose but then you have to head home to bed. It’s getting late.”

“Deal,” she gently strokes Gloria’s back before moving to her face, whispering soft sweet words to the horse.

With that Tommy excuses himself to home to help Maria with the baby. 

Joel takes a seat on the floor next to Lennie to start on his own dinner. She slips her hunk of bread onto his tray.

It feels blissfully intimate in the moment. 

Comfortable.

Normal.

“So what’s in that?” Ellie points at the jar of liquid laying nestled in hay next to Lennie.

“Echinacea tincture," she says between bites. "Rattlesnake venom causes tissue necrosis.” Ellie squints. “It eats away at tissue, killing it off. That contains a compound that stops the reaction. It also increases white blood cell activity, helping the body to heal itself,” Lennie answers between bites of food. “And plantain…”

“Heals tissue.” Ellie finishes

“You got it,” Lennie’s smile is bright.

“And you chewed them up and spat them out because…”

“Breaks down the plant,” Joel chimes in. 

“Yeah, I know how chewing works…”

“No, he’s right. It breaks the plant down and makes beneficial compounds more accessible.”

“Spit poultice," Joel mumbles through a mouthful of bread.

“Oh. Cool. Then what are the big leaves for?”

“Holds everything together, keeps the cloth from absorbing liquid out of the poultice. Want that juice to stay on the bite.”

Ellie has moved to Gloria’s face now, “and the tubes are because… her nose swelled up. These keep her airway open if it swells more.” She cuts a glance down at Lennie who nods, and then sneezes.

Ellie and Joel both give their blessings, while Lennie answers, “sorry.” 

“And you’ve done this before?”

“Maybe…twelve times on horses?”

“On other things too?” Ellie arches an eyebrow.

“Three goats, four sheep, one dog, two cows,” Lennie squints one eye as though it helps her remember.

“Any people?” Ellie comes to sit beside her.

“Nah they probably save the antivenom for people.” Joel chimes in.

“There is no antivenom, Joel.”

“What.”

“There hasn’t been for fifteen years. It’s incredibly unstable as it is and has to be kept refrigerated which, there goes most stock after the collapse. What survived went to the QZs in areas where it made sense and even then, it has a short shelf-life. Plus, no one wanted to use horses to make more, they became too valuable.”

“So you’ve done it with people,” Ellie leans to look across Lennie’s tray at Joel.

“Two people have been bitten in my time here. They’re both still here, no lasting damage,” Lennie grabs an apple and unsheathes her knife.

“That’s amaz…” Joel starts.

“Fuckin awesome!” Ellie finishes. “How did you learn all of this?”

“Books, mostly. And desperation, probably,” Lennie answers as she slices, arranging the cut pieces on the side plate where her bread was. “Hand me that, Ellie?” This about the jar of tincture. She uses her clean spoon to drip liquid onto each slice before handing the plate to Ellie. “Wanna feed her those?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Careful of the poultice,” Joel calls after Ellie as Lennie sneezes again, twice this time. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m allergic.”

“To horses.”

“Horses. And dogs. Cats. Cows.” Lennie smiles and reaches into her pocket for a brown dropper bottle to place a few drops under her tongue. “I’ll live.”

Joel cannot help but smirk.

“So what would you use for a bee sting?” Ellie hands the plate back to Lennie and Joel collects the trays.

“Bee balm.”

“Okay. Fine, makes sense. A sunburn?”

“St. Johns Wort.”

“Broken bones?”

“Jane down at the hospital would set them, and then boneset and comfrey all day, internally and externally.”

“Boneset.” Ellie is struck by the simplicity of it. “Okay, chicken pox?”

“They still have that?” Joel returns to the stall.

“Yeah it went around FEDRA school when I was like eight.”

“Safflower, black cohosh, plus probably some other things externally for the itching. Calendula, chamomile. It’s a virus, so something like yarrow wouldn’t hurt.”

“Constipation.” Ellie draws out each syllable with an arched brow, earning a scowl from Joel.

“Slippery elm, marshmallow root, that one depends on what caused it.”

“Stinky feet.” She’s getting more ridiculous in an effort to trip Lennie up.

“Oak bark.”

“Syphilis.”

“Ellie!” Joel barks.

“Haven’t encountered that one yet but there’s an old sailor’s remedy of burdock, yarrow, parsley, comfrey, and yellow dock that I read about once. Thistle was also used in these parts.”

“Wow.” Ellie seems to have run out of random medical conditions, and leans back against the wooden walls of the stall.

“Back pain?” Joel offers from the corner.

“Nerves or muscles?”

“Uh. Muscles?”

“Arnica,” she makes note to pass him some oil tomorrow.

“So you have to be here all night?” Ellie says.

“In the first few hours, the frequency of dosing helps. That swelling hasn’t gotten worse, and by tomorrow it should be reduced if we keep this up until morning. Horses are sturdy, she’ll bounce back just fine.”

“Is there anything you need? From the shop? I can run and grab it for you?” Ellie offers.

“Actually, a coat would be great if you don’t mind. Grab one for your dad too.”

Ellie doesn’t correct her and Joel notices.

In the commotion of the afternoon Lennie had run out into the street in a Rolling Stones t-shirt and jeans, and the setting sun had taken its heat with it. The barn was still warm, but it wouldn’t be for much longer. “And if you could lock her up for me? The bigger brass one is the deadbolt.” Lennie passes Ellie a ring with three keys.

When Ellie slips out, Joel realizes he feels like an idiot for not having a flannel to offer her. He had been similarly stuck with just his t-shirt and was grateful she had the foresight to consider him as well.

“I can grab a blanket if you’re…”

“I’m okay for now, thanks.” She offers him a soft smile from across the stall.

Joel moves to sit near her, offering his heat in lieu of fabric.

“Did you break this at some point?” Lennie points to his right hand, “I noticed you clench and shake it sometimes.”

“I uh. Think I might have. Like a year ago, thought it was a hairline. Still bothers me when I use it too much–probably didn’t heal right.”

“May I?” He nods and she shifts to face him, taking his right hand between her palms and he hisses a sharp inhale. Her eyes jump to his, searching them for signs of pain. “Does that hurt?”

“No.”

Being touched and being burned just have the same effect nowadays.

“Do you get tingling? Pins and needles?”

“Not, not really.”

“Okay, tell me if any of this hurts, yeah?” Joel nods and she feels around, applying deep pressure down into the bones of his hand and then up through his wrist before lacing her fingers through his and putting her other hand on his elbow. “Relax, Joel,” she shakes the hand that’s entwined with his and angles big eyes up at him, noting his features are wrought through with tension. She takes him through a full range of motion, feeling how the bones shift under muscle.

“Do you want me to stop?”

He doesn’t realize how tight his features are. 

“No. Sorry, I’m just not used to…”

A soft “yeah,” falls from her lips. 

She unlaces her hand from his and he very nearly reaches for her again, but luckily she returns contact, palm to palm, supporting his hand. “Tell me if there’s anywhere you have diminished sensation?” She taps around, just behind the knuckles of his index finger, then behind the knuckles of his pinky, just above the nails of his index and middle finger, then strokes feather-light over areas of the back of his hand before flipping his hand over and repeating the process. 

“All feels the same, I think.”

“Okay good. No bad nerve damage. Your wrist and thumb are jammed up though.”

“Great,” he huffs, thinking it’s yet another thing he can thank getting old for.

“Can I adjust it for you?”

“Do what?”

“Adjust it. Definitely won’t fix it entirely, but might help.” 

“I mean, I guess, yeah. If you can.”

“Stand up for me?” They both do, and Lennie takes his left arm and guides his hand to rest just above the ditch of his right elbow. “Hold that there and relax your arm.” She holds his wrist with both hands, shaking it out before giving it a quick, controlled jerk, pressing down with both thumbs.

There’s a crack and Joel moans.

“Umm, what the fuck’s going on here?”

Ellie’s rounded the corner, jackets draped over her arm. Joel and Lennie look up. He’s sure he’s red in the face but to his own surprise, he doesn’t make a move to yank his hand back. 

“Your dad has an old hand injury that I’m adjusting. Wanna see?” 

“Yeah,” Ellie drops the jackets and Lennie’s keys on a square bale of hay and comes to stand with them both. 

“I’ve just done his wrist where one of the bones was jammed up, and his thumb is a little out of whack, so I’ll do that now,” she looks up and searches Joel’s eyes.

She swears there’s less tension knotting his features. Joel offers a small nod and bites the inside of his cheek lest he make another obscene sound. 

“Alright, deep breath, three, two,” on “one” she applies pressure at the base of his thumb and there’s another smaller pop. “See how that feels?”

Joel flexes his fingers and rotates his wrist before shaking his hand out and repeating the motions. 

“It’s actually. A bit better.”

Lennie smiles as she makes her way over to the coats. Ellie brought her sweatshirt as well and she slips it on before taking a seat. 

“What is that, how did you learn to do that?” Ellie plops down next to her.

“I traveled with a chiropractor for about a year and she taught me a few things. It’s subtle manipulations to encourage bones back into their proper positions.”

“No shit. Were you a doctor before this?” Ellie’s eyes go wide.

“Very much not, no,” Lennie almost smiles.

“What did you do before?”

“Ellie…” Joel softly chides.

“No, it’s okay,” Lennie rakes a hand through her hair. “I was a lawyer.”

“Like Maria?”

“There are a few of us here. And yes and no. I wasn’t the kind of lawyer that goes to court. ”

She leaves it at that and Ellie doesn’t ask because she’s not really sure what it is that lawyers do that’s not putting people in jail.

“Is chiropractic something you do here?” Joel changes the subject, joining them on the floor, still flexing his hand in the way you do when you’re suddenly too aware of one part of your body.

“Only in extraordinary circumstances. Don’t really like touching people.”

Says the woman who pressed her ear to his bare chest when he might have been dying. 

“Hands and feet are usually okay, but spines get pretty, physical. That’s where I kind of tap out. Adjusted plenty of animals though. Actually did Gloria a few weeks ago.”

“Speaking of,” Joel starts, “I think she’s due for a poultice change, and then you need to get off to bed,” he nods at Ellie.

“Can I do it?” Ellie asks.

“Of course.” Lennie guides her through the steps, but she’s been watching closely and picks it up with ease. When she’s done, she puts up a fight about leaving.

“Ellie, I’m not gonna ask again, that was the deal.” Joel is kind but firm.

“Fine.” Ellie kicks at some hay, “but come sunrise, I’m coming straight back.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” Joel accepts the hug Ellie gives him and he kisses the top of her head. She spins on her heel intending to give Lennie one too before remembering.

“Hugs are okay, Ellie,” Lennie smiles and Ellie obliges.

Joel notes how Lennie still holds her breath.

“Remember what her nose looks like, yeah? We’ll be counting on you to give us your honest opinion on how it looks in the morning.” 

“I only do honest opinions,” Ellie winks as she backs out of the stall. “You two have fun.”

Lennie sneezes twice again when she’s gone and Joel smirks.

“Bless you.”

“And what exactly about that amuses you Miller?” Lennie teases.

“You’re basically the town vet and you’re allergic to everything with four legs.”

Lennie laughs. “Needs must,” she manages before another sneeze and she digs into her pocket for the dropper bottle again. 

Lennie checks on Gloria’s breathing, holding her hands in front of the tubes, feeling each strong, warm breath against her palms, then feels around for her heart rate with fingers pressed under her jaw. Joel watches, arms crossed over his chest, less looming and more a protective presence.

“She’s all good,” Lennie concludes, making her way over to the coats. It’s probably down to forty outside and it’s only gone ten o’clock. “Might want to grab her blanket, though.” She says handing the larger coat to Joel, who gratefully accepts.

He does wonder why she has a coat that seems fit for a man much taller than him, but thinks better of asking, opting to pull a blanket from the shelf across from the stall.

She dons her own coat and helps him buckle Gloria in.

Lennie shoves her hands in her pockets when she’s through, and the ring on her pinky clinks against something metal.

“Ooohhhoho yess,” Lennie pulls out a flask with bright eyes and grins.

“Fancy some gin?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Joel sits, back braced against a bale, legs outstretched and Lennie sits in front of them, her back against the stall wall as the flask passes between them.

“I still can’t believe you make that.”

“Yeah, swing by and I’ll show you some day,” she lets her head fall back against the wood and breathes deep. 

Joel’s eyes trace the column of her throat and he opens his mouth before his staring gets him in trouble.

“So— a lawyer?”

“Yeah,” the word comes out on a sardonic laugh. “Could not have picked something more useless,” she looks over at him with a smile.

Joel returns her mirth. “What kind of law?”

“Corporate,” and they both smile again. “Mergers and acquisitions. Did it for a year and a half out of law school, absolutely fucking hated it. Like, seriously questioned if I even wanted to be in the profession any more.” She takes another sip and passes the flask to Joel.

“Yeah that sounds,” he pauses trying to be polite, “pretty fuckin dismal.” He can’t.

“But then the world fucking ended, so. Kind of made that decision for me.” Joel holds her stare, a smile playing on his lips as he takes another sip.

“Where’d you go to law school?”

“No, you’re gonna laugh.”

“Don’t say Harvard.”

Lennie presses her lips together and scrunches her nose.

“NOOO,” Joel rumbles, brown eyes open wide as they both erupt in a fit of laughter.

“Didn’t have to worry about paying back student loans though,” Lennie lifts the flask in a kind of salute to the universe.

“So how the hell did you end up doing this?”

“Don’t really know. Had a passing interest in it and an undergrad in biology. Kind of made sense, I guess. I read fast and retain stuff pretty well, so I guess I can thank law school for that much.” Lennie passes the flask back to him and lays on her side at Joel’s feet, propping her head up on crossed arms.

“What about you?”

He hesitates for a moment and she sees something flash in his eyes.

“It’s okay, you don’t…”

“I was a contractor. Never finished college,” he takes a swig.

“You did something useful then.”

“Yeah. Yeah I guess.”

It’s sore here, and Lennie moves on.

“So what does Joel Miller like to do for fun?”

He holds her gaze and pauses a moment, fingers fiddling with an engraving on the flask—he can’t tell what. And he can’t remember what fun is.

“It’s a weird question, I know.”

“Used to like swimming, I guess. Hiking. Playing guitar,” he considers carefully before the next word, “singing.”

“No shit. I'd love to hear that. At some point. I won't put you on the spot now.”

“Yeah, alright,” he smirks and stands, handing the flask back down to her as she sits up. “I got the next dose,” he grabs an apple from their stash and cuts it up and she brings the jar of tincture to dose the slices. Joel handles changing the poultice and returns, sitting next to her this time.

They fall into easy conversation as they split the remainder of the gin. Favorite movies, sports teams, music. All the beauty of before and none of the baggage that crowds the room whenever he and Tommy try for the same.

They manage one more change before sleep starts to creep in.

“She’s doing well, we can probably push it out to two, get a little bit of sleep. It’s midnight now.”

“Yeah,” Joel scrubs a hand down his face, “yeah that’s a good idea.”

Lennie sets an alarm on her watch and Joel takes the other side of the stall. He watches as Lennie curls up into the hay, resting her head on her arms, legs pulled up tight to her chest. He watches as her breathing evens out to slow deep lungfuls. Watches as her features relax, eyes tracing her brow, where her eyelids flutter, the soft part in her lips because her nose is stuffed up, down to where the curve of her hip only just peeks out from underneath her jacket.

He flexes his hand again not out of pain, but longing to trace everywhere his eyes have just tread. He mirrors her pose and drinks her in, her wild halo of dark curls the last sight he remembers before sleep takes him.

_____

There’s a soft chime creeping in on tendrils of consciousness two hours later, and he wakes with a start. Lennie quickly gets to her feet and she’s cutting an apple by the time Joel brings her the jar of tincture. 

At some point she’d piled more hay up around her. It’s sticking to the corduroy collar of her coat. Strands of gold grasped in the tendrils of her black hair.

“Thanks,” she sniffs, congestion a little worse than before.

They work in silence, he starts chewing plantain as she feeds Gloria slices wet with medicine. As he finishes refreshing the poultice he hears Lennie’s teeth clack. He looks over and realizes she’s shivering. 

“Lennie,” Joel clasps the hand that’s not holding the tincture jar in palms that dwarf hers. She’s ice. 

“You’re fucking freezing.”

“It’s fine, Joel,” she leaves the jar in his hands and her fingers tremble as she sets her watch alarm again, digits nearly too numb for the buttons.

“No, no it’s not,” he storms out of the stall to raid the pile of blankets, settling on a waxed cotton one that wouldn’t hold on to horse hair.

“Lay down, Len,” he nods at her little hay pile when he storms back in.

“At least buy me dinner first,” she quips followed by a sniffle. She takes a few more drops of whatever she’s been using for allergies before complying.

Joel waits for her to settle into a comfortable position before gently placing the blanket over where she’s cradled in hay.

He grabs whatever’s on the top of the blanket pile for himself before settling in to his spot opposite her again.

He can still hear shuddering breath.

Fuck it.

He stalks over to her and mumbles “scoot.” She sits up and shuffles away from the wall and he unzips the front of his coat. “Flip this,” he pulls the zipper on her jacket and helps her put her arms through it backwards before folding himself in behind her so the heat from his chest can warm her back. 

He’s careful, however, to keep his hips well away. 

Joel pulls the canvas blanket up over them, suddenly unsure of where to put his arms. He extends one above his head and lays the other awkwardly along his side.

“Thank you,” she whispers. It takes two minutes for shivering to slow and another three for her breath to even out.

He knows because he’s counting the fucking seconds. He hadn’t thought this through.

She was cold and he hadn’t thought this through.

If last night knew what today was.

It’s torture, this frigid lover’s embrace.

_____

Two hours worth of seconds finds him molded to her in slumber. One arm has snaked under her to support her head, right through the gap where her neck meets her shoulder. Hips are pressed flush, one of his legs tangled between hers. One massive palm splays against her stomach. 

His nose is buried in her hair.

Soft chimes wake him to the smell of cedar, lavender, hay, and her.

He breathes in deep and reflexively pulls all of her in before she tenses against him and he springs away.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he’s on his feet as she blearily props herself up to sitting.

He’s already chewing plantain and hacking away at an apple with his knife when she brings him the jar of tincture, jacket still on backwards.

She’s not speaking.

Fuck, why won’t she say something.

She helps him in silence, capping the tincture jar when it’s through and taking it back to her nest with her. Gloria is too close to the stall wall now for him to slip through on the side opposite Lennie and curl under his own blanket where he actually belongs.

He has to pass her.

And so he holds his breath as he does.

“Where are you going?” She mumbles when it’s clear he’s not returning. 

It’s soft. Innocent. 

It’s afraid.

What he can’t know is it’s four-in-the-morning fear of never being held like that again.

He opens his mouth and “my side,” comes falling out.

Lennie looks up at him with big, sleep-glassed eyes.

God, he wants to kiss her. 

In her backwards jacket, hair full of hay, stuffy fuckin nose and all.

He wants to wrap himself in lavender and redwood and never be free of that scent on his skin again.

“You’re warm,” is what she says in lieu of begging him not to take his heat from her.

She gives him the out of “and now so are you.”

The out of “I’m glad you’re not freezing anymore.”

She gives him the chance to escape her and take his touch with him.

And instead, he brings it back.

Crawling back under where she holds the blanket up, arranging himself with all of his prior awkward angles. 

How he was before they found each other in their sleep.

She can feel him holding his breath.

Because she’s not breathing either.

Lennie doesn’t want to bring baggage to this. Doesn’t want to let slip that she hasn’t been held like that in years—not since the him whose jacket Joel is wearing and whose boots still sit in her hallway and whose wedding ring she keeps around her neck threaded on a chain alongside her own. 

She doesn’t want to tell him with her words that he’s the first man who makes her feel again and she can’t fucking explain why because she doesn’t know him, except she does. 

She doesn’t want to give weight to the fact that he’s the one who moved in the night to fold himself around her.

Doesn’t want to tell him how frightened she is that he doesn’t find this as maddening as she does.

And she’s terrified to move lest this shatter.

But she can’t do this for another second.

“Joel.”

“Yeah.”

“Before was—okay.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about that, Lennie.”

And she starts to fracture thinking he’ll say that it won’t happen again.

“You said you don’t like it, and I…I…I just kind of moved and I’m sorry I got way into your space and I didn’t mean…”

“Move again.”

“What?”

“Move. Again.”

Joel’s breath hitches and he curls tentatively against her, chest to her back first before the line of his body follows, finding her form. 

Her waist with his hand.

Her hair with his nose.

And she melts back into him.

And finally they both breathe.

And sleep comes easy. Tangled like this.

_____

“How’s she doing?” Asked in Ellie’s voice the next thing he hears.

He sucks in a sharp breath with a start and prepares half-true excuses.

But when he opens his eyes, Lennie isn’t there.

Instead, she’s stroking the star on Gloria’s forehead, back-lit by rising sun filtering in through curls that shape the morning light like cut pieces of stained glass.

“Come and see.”

He sits up and watches the way she smiles when Ellie’s face lights up in disbelief.

“It’s gotta be down by what? At least half?”

“I’d say about that much, yeah.”

“Joel, look at this!”

And he does, leaving the warmth of the questionable bed they never should have shared.

He’d say it’s about that much.

“You did it,” Ellie gives each of them a high five and they pause just short of high-fiving each other.

Live wires thrumming with a need one spark short of exploding.

“I can take over for the day, if you want?” Ellie offers. 

“Yeah, yeah, actually. That would be great. I think we’d both appreciate sleeping in our own beds.” Lennie says it without bitterness, eyes locked on Joel for the slightest reaction.

She gets it in a minute tic of his brow.

“How often should I give her medicine? Still every hour?”

“Can probably knock it down to every three, actually. No signs of necrosis, and I doubt we’d see any now. Three should be good. And we’ll get these tubes out too.” 

Joel gently guides Ellie out of the way and moves to stand at Gloria’s shoulder to steady her. Lennie gently wiggles each tube, testing for internal inflammation before sliding each free in turn.

Gloria snorts and tosses her head, nearly knocking Lennie into him.

Even the horse is sick of their shit.

“How’s my girl?” Tommy appears now, glass tupperware and something wrapped in paper balanced in his hand. “Brought you both breakfast.”

A wrapped breakfast sandwich goes to Joel and the container of bacon and eggs to Lennie.

“She sailed right through the worst of it. Ellie is going to take over dosing every three hours, but I’d say we’re just about there.”

Tommy moves to take a look for himself, gently pressing a kiss to the horse’s forehead before reaching out a hand to Lennie.

“You did it again.”

“Happy to help,” she smiles as Tommy claps Joel on the back. 

“You two must be wiped, come on, I’ll walk you back. Ellie, you good?”

“Yeah, I got this.”

“Anything changes for the worse, you come straight by, yeah?” Lennie nods in her direction. 

“I know where to find you. But we’ll be alright, won’t we girl?” She strokes the horse’s cheek before cooing soft words of praise.

They hit the shop first, Joel clenching his hand out of habit now more so than discomfort.

“Hey, um, thanks for your help last night, Joel,” Lennie meets his eyes as she fishes her keys from her pocket. 

“Yeah. Yeah it’s no problem.”

She offers him a tight smile before opening the shop door. “Hold up for one.”

She slips through the door and reappears with his jar of weird coffee. “You probably need that.”

“Thanks,” he offers her a grin and holds the jar up with his sandwich, “I cannot tell you how much I’m gonna enjoy this.”

He’s sleep deprived, sore, and probably delusional, but her answering smile is the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a long time. 

“Mornin’ Joel.”

“Mornin’, Len.”

It snags in his throat, but he makes his way through.

He and Tommy nearly make it to their street before Joel’s curiosity chews all the way through his filter.

“You knew she didn’t need my help last night, but you asked me to stay. Why?”

“Yeah, we uh…we don’t like Len going anywhere alone.”

“You what?” 

Hackles are up.

“We don’t…let her alone. Comings and goings during the day are fine, she’s never far from anyone, but with the stables on the edge of town…” Tommy trails off before stopping his brother. “She’s too valuable to us, Joel. To the town. I mean you just saw it with your own eyes.”

“So she’s a prisoner here.”

“Man, come on, it’s not like that. We protect her. Always make sure someone capable has her back.” 

Joel snorts and keeps moving.

“Because we almost lost her a few years back.”

And at this, Joel turns.

“She was out beyond the wall. Gathering something with her husband. He wasn’t a patrolman. Wasn’t a fighter, he was a farmer. And a musician. It wasn’t his job. Raiders came through, caught them by surprise. Thank God she had a sickle on her.  And she got ‘em good, I mean real good, Joel. But Andy didn’t have much more than a small knife."

"He uh. He didn’t make it.”

Joel’s eyes are burning.

“She was covered in blood when we found her. We couldn’t tell what was hers and what wasn’t. And screaming. So loud. Just holding him, she wouldn’t let go. We had to get Jane out there. To give her something to calm her. Just so we could move them back inside the wall.” Tommy’s voice cracks as it plays back behind his eyes. 

“You could see the moment it happened, Joel. Written on those bodies. Just. Rage. She nearly took someone’s head off, man.”

He clenches his jaw, tears threatening to spill because Sarah’s smile is here. Trying to quell the rage that rises up in his own breast at the state of the world that someone else has been here before. Felt this same bile and burn. 

And for a moment he allows himself to think of Tess.

“This is his coat, ain’t it,” Joel croaks.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll take it back to her this afternoon,” he grits out and turns on his heel.

“You should. So to answer your question, no. She’s not a prisoner.” Tommy calls after him as his boots hit his front porch.

“She’s just seen enough.” Joel finishes, throwing a wave behind him and disappearing through the front door.

And for a moment, he wishes for nothing more than to hold her again.

Because now he understands.

She understands.

next

Old chapters are hosted on the OFFS Library page. New chapters will be posted to Ohforficsake - follow me over there for future updates.

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[irkendogma]

I noticed you have issues with the IZ comic. An issue I have is how Dib's character gets treated. I feel like the only one who HATES the opening story arc with the Gargantis Array, and it pisses me off that people actually thought it's a great comeback. It's nothing but an excuse to humiliate and torture Dib for the lulz, and I seriously can't understand why this kind of mean spirited awfulness is "brilliant" when IZ does it. It felt pointlessly cruel even by the show's standards. Pardon but I just wondered your thoughts on that.

yeah, to be honest, while i've never been a big zim or dib person myself i can't deny that the comics consistently mischaracterize both of them but particularly dib, who kind of has his competence as an individual stripped from his character

like, i don't know what your stance is on florpus vs series dib in terms of how they aimed for a distinctly lighter and softer tone in the former, but i've never been particularly fond of it - i understand the membrane family situation is significantly different in florpus, because to be honest "i've always been proud of you, son" is just demonstrably not true in the context of the series and i would prefer to accept that as a truth of the rebooted continuity rather than membrane just straight up lying about past events, so it makes more sense for dib to be more recognizably a normal, innocuous kid there, but the comics didn't really have that sense of parental recognition in them and they still had roughly the same portrayal of dib as more naive, empathic, and overall childlike than he appeared in the show

which i was not really big on, because to tie that into what you said about meanspirited awfulness in the context of IZ, i think part of the draw of the original IZ was that while it was and is a children's show, it maintains a sense of almost grimy groundedness? it's definitely off-kilter and has a much darker sense of humor + general tone compared to other, similar cartoons of its time period, but it never quite feels meanspirited to me because the characters most often give as good as they take. dib, in the original series, feels like he at least stands a fighting chance against the constant circumstances against his favor, because just often he's those circumstances for others (mostly zim) and you get a sense of how and why he's capable of this through the membrane siblings' relative self-sufficiency as a result of membrane's neglect

the comics make dib feel like a punching bag, to be frank. he wins as little as he did in the original show, but he no longer has the bite or spark to him to make it feel like he can take it and bounce back to keep going - it just feels kind of like kicking a puppy. the specific storyline you mentioned with the gargantis array just felt painful to me because...it's not really satisfying seeing a defanged, normal-kid-ish dib just get painfully humiliated all the way across a frontier he originally viewed as an escape from the planet that already viewed him that way

[bamboopanda27]

I might be in the minority here, but I gotta say, it's kind of disappointing to see so many negative reactions towards Silent Hill 2 Remake. I get that Konami doesn't exactly have the best track record with how they've handled the series in recent years. I understand that people have reservations about Bloober Team's involvement and why that is. I know that the original Silent Hill 2 is a very beloved game. And of course, people are entitled to their own opinions.

However, I feel like I see way too much of people just absolutely hating on something online these days, rather than waiting for it to come out and giving it a fair chance. I've lost track of all the times people have completely rallied against a game, show, movie, etc. based off just a few scenes or bits of dialogue. It takes more than that to truly experience and judge media for yourself.

In the case of Silent Hill 2 Remake, I've also already seen numerous rants about things like James having too much expression in certain scenes and being able to block/guard against attacks. I saw that first point floating around online after the teaser trailer released and that was literally the only information to go on. Now, people are complaining about how the combat looks. I feel like people are forgetting or neglecting that Silent Hill has never really had smooth combat. It's always been clunky and awkward to some extent. In my opinion, combat has consistently been the worst part of each Silent Hill game I've played. Story, characters, and atmosphere have been the much stronger parts for me. If anything, it looks like the combat in SH2R will still be an improvement from the original. Just from the brief clips shown in the gameplay trailer, it already appears to be much smoother and more modernized without being too action oriented.

Another thing that bothers me is the trailer even discloses the game is still in development. This isn't a finished product yet, and it's very possible the combat will be more polished once it's done. It could also have been changed quite a bit by then. I think people need to actually wait for the finished game to come out, then experience it for themselves. Like I said before, there's too much of bashing things without ever giving them a fair chance and instead assuming that they'll be terrible, awful, trash, and a myriad of other negative descriptors from the very beginning.

Maybe the game will turn out to be bad and I'll end up feeling disappointed by it. For now though, I'd rather give it the benefit of the doubt and believe it has the potential to be good. I'd rather wait to play the game myself and form my overall opinion on it then.

All this to say I'm frustrated by how quickly and easily people completely dismiss things without giving them a proper chance first. And specifically, it's frustrating to see how much of that type of sentiment has been directed towards Silent Hill 2 Remake, a game that's still in development and doesn't even have a release date yet. At this point, it honestly feels like some people are nitpicking every bit of information or footage that comes out and finding everything "wrong" with it that they possibly can.

[jortschronicles]

WIP: Sion Relic-Purse V - revenge of the birds

Apparently it's time for me to start another incredibly punishing knitting project and break out the crochet thread. I picked Sion V, as I haven't done this pattern yet and the birdies are DARLING. The extant is supposed to be frankly garishly colored, beige and blue birdies alternated with red and green birdies, and purple and white interstitial bands.

“Each band is composed of identical shields, with a small star at the bottom of the space between each two shields. The bands of shields are staggered by a lateral half-drop; each carries a bird. The bands alternate: one band of beige with the shields outlined and decorated in blue, one band of red with shields in green; all bands counter-changed with stripes across the middle of the shields in which the colors are reversed. The bands of shields are separated by a narrow saw-tooth design in violet and white.” -Richard Rutt, on Sion V

I chose to change some of the colors for the preferences of the modern-day recipient while still maintaining the spirit of the wildly colored original. I swapped the beige for more white, the red for a different shade of green, and the violet for a lovely maroon. I did all this color swapping and planning in GIMP 2.8, comparing an approximation of the extant's coloration and different combinations of the colors I'd like to use. All in all I'm delighted with the way the colors are coming out.

Considering this is my third sion bag and it's been more than 3 years since my first, I'm not surprised that my tension is a lot more consistent and resulting in a lovely texture on the front of the design. I've only bothered tacking down floats on stretches of 9 or more, which only occur at 2 points in the pattern. I'd love to see a picture of the inside of the extant, to know if the artisan tacked ANY floats down, or relied on their own consistency of stitching. Is the bag lined? I have so many questions and have struggled finding answers.

I originally cast on August 15, 2023, on 2.00mm needles and 10 crochet thread. My original plan was with 18 repeats, as the extant seems to have that many. However, 18 repeats of an 18 stitch large pattern resulted in 324 stitches, a number that I struggled to keep on the needles and seemed overall unwieldy after knitting 15 rows. I then tried 15 repeats (270), which was similarly unwieldy. I settled on 12 repeats at 216 stitches (or 54 on each needle), having knit and ripped out more than 2000 stitches in the search for the Right Count.

Somewhere along the way, I seem to have knit two stitches together between the bottom of the first stripe of blue shields and the top of the first stripe of green shields. After much searching, no culprit showed, so I've included a sneaky m1L near the BOR jog. Fixing dumb mistakes is period, look at the Pourpoint of Charles de Blois.

I also finally made a needle cozy for my 8 inch us0s, since they dont fit in the cozy i use for my 6 inch sock needles. No more stitches slipping and dropping!!!

You may notice my birdies face the opposite direction of those on the shields. I encourage you not to notice this fact. One thing this project has proven to me is that even when I think i understand the geometry involved in a knitting project, I am bound to make mistakes.

When I finish this, I think I'd like to submit it for competition unlined to show off the floats, then I'd like to line it before giving it to the recipient for use. I don't want anybody worried about messing up the bag by using it.

[adobe-outdesign]

Could you review the polywag line?🐸

Poliwag is pretty darn fun. It's pretty instantly recognizable with the black swirl on its underbelly, which is a nod to the swirl-shaped intestines of some real-life tadpoles.

The eyes are adorable, the little mouth adds some color, and the heavy black and white contrast of the underbelly really helps to draw attention right to the swirl. It's a pretty simple design, but it works very well.

Also, pointless fun fact: Poliwag here is Satoshi Tajiri's (the guy who created Pokemon) favorite Pokemon. He has good taste!

Poliwhirl... did not need to exist. It's got a few unique elements—namely the mitten-like hands, which ironically did have fingers in its earliest sprites—but overall, it doesn't feel like it brings anything to the table that Poliwrath doesn't. Poliwrath and Poliwag don't look overly dissimilar, so you could've just jumped straight from point A to B and not lost anything. Poliwrath's original design, discussed below, might've justified it's existence a little more, but only a little.

That said, it looks perfectly fine. The "gloves" help accent the white underbelly, and it loses the mouth entirely—a change I really love, as it really works to just imply a mouth around the underbelly area without literally showing it. I also like that the swirl changes direction as a subtle thing. All of these changes are also present on Poliwrath however, so nothing still would've been lost by just skipping this stage.

(Side note: I think it's neat that Poliwhirl uses its swirl for hypnosis, even though it doesn't go anywhere. Guess they figured they didn't need another hypnosis 'mon with Hypno already running around this gen.)

Poliwrath is a pretty neat evo. I like that it's more of a larger, more aggressive tadpole than a regular frog, and once again, the lack of mouth and gloves are welcome additions to Poliwag's design. I also like the overall body shape, which reflects its fighting-typing and is a bit distinct from either of its pre-evos.

My sole complaint is that I wish the swirl had the same bean-like shape that the underbelly now has; the circular shape leaves too much white space on the edges and a weird tension point at the top. Also, I do wonder if the feet could've also been white just for the sole purpose of differentiating it from Poliwhirl a bit more.

Speaking of which, Poliwrath originally looked more like a goofy king than anything even remotely menacing, sporting a crown and white feet (or maybe just the undersides are white? hard to tell). According to the creators, this design was scrapped for "looking too weak", which is understandable. Ultimately the design we got was the better of the two anyway, even if this has its own charm.

Oh, and Politoed also Exists. Not gonna lie, I consistently forget it's a part of this line, though I'm not sure why—maybe it's the sudden, jarring color change, maybe it's the lose of the black swirl, or maybe it's just that it's a much more generic frog than the weird semi-tadpoles we had previously. I don't dislike it or anything, but it does feel like it looses all of my favorite elements from the previous stages.

(Little blue edit, mostly to satisfy my own curiosity)

Also, it doesn't really add anything to the line. It does have a vague "king" theme, possibly as a nod to Poliwrath's beta, but it's only really made clear though its evo method and 'dex.

I will say that Politoed is pretty cute however, keeping the same eyes as Poliwag, and its definitely appealing to those who just want a more straightforward frog. It's also kind of neat how it now feels like the line either finally metamorphoses or doesn't depending on the final evo you pick. Also, the way the swirl on the stomach is integrated into the head hair is fun as well. Overall, it's pretty decent, but I do think it would've been better off as its own Pokemon.

Politoed also has a beta, and in all honesty, I kind of like this design better? The black swirl is retained more clearly, but it also has a more abstract body shape that's still plenty frog-like while more closely resembling the rest of its line. I also love the expression; what a smug little creature. Like i said, what we got wasn't bad, but this definitely has a certain charm to it as well.

So, to summarize: Poliwag is charming and Poliwrath is a pretty good evo, but Poliwhirl is mostly redundant. Politoed is a nice option for those who want something more frog-like, but ultimately feels fairly disconnected from the rest of the line and probably could've just been its own thing. Regardless, it's an enjoyable group of 'mons.

[oreo102]

I am vocally very very supportive of 13’s era and vocally don’t understand the writing complaints

However. I do have my complaints with the writing, so I’m gonna talk about what I don’t like of the writing

A) consistency

The consistency of the writing is… off? They flip flop on how much 13 dislikes guns quote a bit in s11 (hating them in ep2 and 4, fine with the shot gun in 6, refuses to talk to the woman in 10 until she puts the gun down but will talk to the brother in 6 with one in her face etc) and I feel like they forget about the points system a bit (mentioned in 3 and I think 8 but j don’t remember it being mentioned again until s12 with Ruth/fugitive doctor, but I could just be forgetting), and this one is more nitpicky than consistency but I feel like they should’ve kept with Swiss army sonic for at least one more episode, if only with Ryan and Graham

Another nitpicky point but speaking of the fugitive doctor I wish they would’ve done more with her, even just as a mention which I’m including as consistency cuz she really just disappeared after that episode

B) character arcs

Yaz is basically the second main character imo, and she doesn’t really get a character arc? She definitely grows as a character, adopting bits of the doctor’s personality, taking charge when separated from the doctor, etc, but to my knowledge she doesn’t get an arc? Or maybe I missed it? She definitely gets the most screen time/character of the fam + Dan but I think even background characters got better than her sometimes (the first that comes to mind is Bella from s12 ep3), I could be wrong on this of course, I don’t like- analyze media and I totally might’ve missed shit but moving on

Dan also wasn’t dealt with the best. I mean- I really didn’t like him the first time I watched s13 and while now I think he’s fine I’m not sure I’ll ever truly like him like I do with most/all other characters? I feel like he’s under utilized and doesn’t really fit into the story very well? I think it’s good when he’s comic relief or a supporting character for yaz but a lot of the time he’s just… boring/plain

Graham and Ryan I think served their purpose actually pretty well and Graham in particular had one of my favorite developments, like he started off as kinda a jerk but he grew to love everyone a lot and I like that they were able to explore his grief pretty well, although I hate the message of s11 ep10. I think in s12 he worked pretty well as a comedic character that had some deep moments

Ryan, out of the original fam is my least favorite but not because he’s bad, I just think the other 2 are better. I don’t think I have much to say about him, tbh? Like overall I think he was used really well and had some nice development (s11 ep9 with the blind kid, his relationship with Graham, his fear of the earth becoming orphan 55, him being the first to want to leave the tardis) and I don’t really have any notes- I with we’d have seen more of him and 13 but that’s a common theme of all the companions

C) resolution

I think resolution is a terribly boring episode, and I’m sure that’s not a super popular opinion but any time where 13 or yaz isn’t on screen it feels like it drags on, which of course, could just be my bias. But like- I don’t really care that Ryan’s dad is back so for half the scenes im just… bored. It could be a really interesting topic if they had incorporated him more, have Ryan get a letter or message from him one or two times, have Ryan be jealous of the relationship between a kid and their dad, smth like that

But as it is, I think the extra characters are boring and under used, Ryan’s dad has no emotions connected to him, and while the dalek is cool it could have been better used?

Also 13 and yaz should have been allowed to hug and hold hands more, like let them be affectionate damn

None of this is especially bad, though. Other than resolution, which is easy enough to just- not rewatch, it doesn’t retract from my enjoyment of the show, in any way