#but one way to get good at drawing something is to get a crazy fixation on something and there ya go

[monotone-artist]

[id in alt]

ive been um. drawing a little bit

about the silver-calling-shadow-grandpa thing: lil headcanon of mine that shadow and silver are related :] not by blood but because of funky gene experimentation someone or other did. basically,, idk they copied shadow's hedgehog genes and over time they got descended into silver 👍👍

bonus under read-more

hah reference

[almadelsur]

💋 The Secrets One Keeps

summary: You're in love with jj but he's with kie, so in moments of pure desperation you often find yourself turning to the person he hates the most...rafe

warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, one or two uses of y/n, plz let me know if I missed anything

a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering i first wrote this like 3 years ago, and yes for those of you who have been asking, I fully intend to finallly continue this fic....more info on that later ;)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

JJ’s eyes change the moment Kiara steps into any room. Immediately his presence is ripped away from your immediate atmosphere, popping the little bubble you'd spent all afternoon crafting as he sprung up to greet the olive-skinned enigma that captured his affections.

“Kie!” The joy in his tone was incomparable to anything he’d directed at anybody else. Nothing could draw out such happiness from the blonde. You hated that about her.

In an attempt at self-defense, your brain shut itself off. Shielding you from processing the scene in front of you, your emotions ran cold like cement pouring down and across your neurons. It was the only way you could survive such a beating to your heart.

You figured that by distancing yourself mentally, you wouldn’t have to raise suspicion and distance yourself physically. In reality, you knew the real reasoning was your inability to stay away from JJ but the facade helped you cope.

“Hey J” she embraced him and his body relaxed around her as if she was the only source of his happiness. The only way he’d find alleviation from what he perceived as a shitty life being through her. “Sorry I’m late my parents had me running like crazy at the wreck today.”

Scattered greetings filled the air from the rest of the pogues, yet you could only focus on the way his eyes fixated on her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Here come sit baby” he offered her the seat he had just previously been place holding. What you thought had been quality time with your best friend, presented itself to you now as momentary attention to pass the time until his actual desire arrived.

Settling herself down and offering you a wide smile, her shoulder bumped against yours gently as a sign of acknowledgment.

“Hey dude” she directed at you, but you didn’t reply. You just couldn’t bring yourself to pretend. Not today anyway. Instead, you offered her a small smile, it was minimal but it was the best you could do under the circumstances.

“Yo" A crumpled tissue paper flew at your head, jj attempting to refocus your attention on him, "didn’t you say you were gonna get some water or something?” He spoke up, the scheme evident in his tone.

“um yeah I guess” You lifted yourself up and took a few steps before jj used the opportunity to slump himself down where you had been sat and sprawled his arms across his girlfriend’s shoulders.

“snooze ya loose sucker” he joked as he turned to Kiara to start up some mindless conversation. Leaving you behind in the dust.

Your teeth gritted as you focused on making your way to the kitchen hoping the distance from the scene unfolding would lift the iron grip on your heart.

You made the fatal mistake of glancing back and you were met with the image of jj nuzzling up to kiara in a picturesque display of love. The lump building at the base of your throat indicated that it was your time to get the hell out of there before you broke down in front of everyone. 

“Shit guys, y’know what I just realized I gotta go” You spoke quickly, your tone matching your pace as you rushed to the exit of the chateau. 

“You’re still coming to the party later though right?” John B asked, not tearing his eyes away from the screen in front of him. 

“Mhm yeah sure” you opened the door ready to depart. 

“Shit I forgot about that! Me and jj are gonna be late, we got dinner at the wreck tonight.” kiara added as you stepped out, unable to control the escape of a rogue tear.

“Date night babyyyy” You heard JJ cheer before you slammed the door behind you. 

“Is Y/N okay? She seemed a bit off.” Kie nudged JJ as she questioned. 

JJ furrowed his eyebrows momentarily. Glancing out the window, he saw you jog away from the house, and a brief flash of worry flashed through his mind. As quick as it came, it dissipated. He shook his head figuring that if there had been something wrong, he’d have been the first to know. 

“Nah she’s okay don't worry.” he offered to kie.

Boy was he mistaken. 

——————————————————————

“Fuuuck me” you moaned out, sinking into him one last time. You were hot, sweaty, and heaving as you pulled him out of you.

“I thought I just did” Rafe taunted leaning back to lie down, arms crossed behind his head causing his taut abdomen to flex.

You scrambled off the bed, picking up your garments and shoving them back on your body forcefully.

“What, no pillow talk?” He tried again.

“Rafe..” you trailed off. Whenever you’d finish fucking, you’d struggle to even look at him. The self-hatred flooded your body as soon as the orgasm poured out.

“Hey you called me” he eyed you intently but you knew he didn’t actually care. To rafe cameron everything was just a game. At this point it was pretty much common knowledge. “In fact” he moved closer to you so that he could speak directly into your ear “It’s always you that calls me.”

“Don’t be a dick” you stood up and eyed your heels contemplating whether you could face the walk back in them. “You know it makes me feel like shit.” It might have sounded brutal but that’s how things were with rafe.

“Yeah, it’s like you punctuate your orgasms with self-hate.”

“I'm a pogue, rafe.” You argued back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So? Kooks and pogues can fuck you know.” You couldn’t comprehend why you were even having this conversation. Why now, why tonight.

“Yeah maybe, not you though.” You didn’t want to tell him the reason explicitly.

“I fuck pogues.”

“You fuck anyone.” The words came out almost instantly and without thinking, yet rafe took no offense.

“Exactly so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is, rafe.” You paused trying to find the words without actually having to say the words. “The issue is that if my friends found out they’d hate me, probably more than I already hate myself.”

He just chuckled, the look in his eyes changing as he figured you out.

“What's funny?” You challenged.

“You don’t have to bullshit me princess.” He looked up at you with a devilish glint in his eye. “You just don’t want jj knowing about your little escapades huh?” Bingo.

“He’s with Kiara.” You shrugged him off.

“Uh huh, you like him but you can’t have him.” Every word he spoke striking a nerve deep within you. “So you’re fucking me to fuck him over.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grabbed your heels and shoved them on, wincing as you buckled them up.

“Don’t I?” He threw his joggers on lazily as he stood, the level dynamics changing significantly. The older boy towered over you. “Where are they tonight?”

“Back at John B’s, we had a little get-together.” You crossed your arms. More often than not you usually called rafe after a few drinks left you feeling lonely. “Sorry, your invite must have gotten lost in the mail.” You attempted to jab at him with sarcasm yet he clearly held the upper hand with his line of questioning. 

“So all of them are there now?” He stepped towards you.

“Mhm,” You lied.

“Even jj?” Moving closer until your neck was craned upwards to meet his eyes.

Taking your silence as an answer, he reached up and ran his palms across your upper arms, prompting you to uncross them.

“He was uh- him and kie should be getting there soon” You mumbled.

“So would i be wrong in guessing, that might have prompted your call then?” You let yourself be guided by his movements leaning your neck further back as his hand trailed up to your jawbone.

“rafe…” you called out insignificantly.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against your neck, right over where he could feel your pulse, and pressed down.

You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth. Because as much as your heart belonged to jj, rafe was just so fucking good at raising your temperature.

“Round two?” He mumbled against your neck.

“Yeah..” you attempted yet it came out as a whisper. He grabbed you swiftly and lifted you, moving you across the room and throwing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you in a predatory manner as he did so. As your back hit the bed, the ringing of your phone brought you back from the haze he had you under. 

“Wait rafe stop stop” you pushed him off and grabbed the screeching mobile, pressing it up to your ear. “Hello?”

“Dude, where are you?” The sound of jj’s voice came through over the pumping sound of music and party chatter. “Me and Kie just got back and John B says no one’s seen you for like over an hour.”

“Oh I’m uh, I had to go do something for my mom” The lie pouring out of your mouth caused rafe to chuckle which was of course met by a slap from you signaling for him to be quiet.

“Oh well, when are you getting back? I have to tell you about this date. You’re gonna be so proud of me I actually think I’m ready to tell Kie I love her” you screwed your eyes shut as he spoke.

“Yeah I- you know what I can’t make it back my mom needs me to stay and help out but uh I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” You hung up before he could even reply, throwing your phone down uncaring of its state.

“What’s wrong? They getting hitched?” Rafe spoke up from behind you.

You turned to Rafe, the fire in your veins pushing your arms to grab him, roughly pulling him back onto you.

“Just shut up and fuck me rafe.”

And fuck you he did.

——————————————————————

The next morning you woke up to the sight of rafe’s bare back. Not much of a cuddler, you figured.

Quietly you pushed the covers off and began to dress yourself back up. As you got to your shoes you sighed and shook your head, as if there was any way in hell you were going to walk home in heels. You scooped up your shoes and your now-cracked phone shaking your head, slightly ashamed at your outburst.

Without even a second glance at the sleeping body you were leaving behind, you made your way over to the door. As you turned the knob and stepped out to leave, a husky voice spoke up.

“I’ll keep my ringer on for you babe.”

You rolled your eyes looking back at him, “Fuck you rafe.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on.” He didn’t even open his eyes as he answered, instead just rustling around in the bed and turning to the other side, once again facing his back to you.

You scoffed as you exited. Your internal rant clouded your vision, body on autopilot with an excellent self-navigation of the Cameron house from the countless times you’d made this exit.

“Y/N?” The gentle voice wiped your thoughts clean as the shock stilled you dead in your tracks, slowly turning to come face to face with none other than Sarah.

“Sarah” you drawled out. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s my house?” Her head was cocked to the side, equally shocked to see you.

“No I just mean- I thought you were spending the night at John B’s.” You forced the small talk, avoiding the topic of why you were here, sneaking out at 8 in the morning.

“He had to work today, did you spend the night here?” She glanced up at the door of rafe’s bedroom.

“Umm-“ There had only been two other instances where you had been at a complete loss for words. The day jj told you he and Kiara were dating, the morning after your first sexual encounter with rafe, and now this.

“Are you sleeping with my brother?!” She whisper-shouted, eyes wide as the realization hit her. Busted.

“No?”

“Oh my god!” She grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to her room, slamming the door as soon as you were both inside. “How long has this been going on?!” Her tone was loud and her hands wild as she interrogated you.

“Just a little under a year.” You sat on her bed and looked at your lap as you spoke. Reminiscent of a child being scolded.

“A year?! Oh my god!” She repeated. “Who knows about this?!”

With that, you looked up at her desperately. “No one. No one knows so please don’t tell them.” You didn’t have to name names for her to know who you were referring to.

“Are you two like” she paused “together?” She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of her bully of an older brother dating anyone.

“No god no. It’s just sex” you were just as uncomfortable as Sarah was, having to tell her about boning her older brother.

“Disgusting.” She turned away from you with her arms crossed, looking out the window.

“Look I’m not proud of it okay? Just-“ You sighed “Just please don’t tell anyone” pleading again.

Sarah let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms. She walked over to you and joined you on the bed, her eyes showing concern mixed with something you couldn’t quite place your finger on.

“I thought you were into jj” she spoke softly, there it was. Pity.

“Yeah well, jj is with kie and instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something about it.” As the words left your mouth, you realized how weak the explanation was.

“So you just use rafe to bang the jj out of you.”

“It’s not like Rafe cares, if anything he’s also using me.” You tried to reason.

“I don’t doubt that. But I mean, that’s- It’s not healthy, you’ll never move on if you don’t actually process your emotio-“

“Look Sarah, I don’t need to do any of that shit okay? What I have here works, when I fu- when I’m with rafe, I don’t think about jj.” Tears began to swell in your eyes “Sleeping with rafe helps me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while he uh- he makes me feel good.” To an extent, there was truth behind your words, while you and rafe fucked the rest of the world went away. It was only after, that the crippling self-hatred hit you along with the return of your immense feelings for jj. 

Sarah shuffled over and threw her arm around you. “That’s not good for you, it’s just momentary. It’s easy and it's a cycle, you’re never going to get better going down this path. Especially not with rafe.”

“Rafe he’s- he’s not that bad.”

“Yes he is. But i bet it gives you satisfaction fucking him knowing jj hates him. Feels like revenge right?” She’d always been so perceptive your Sarah, you hated how she could see right through you.

Tears ran down your cheek silently. “You’re not gonna tell anyone right?” You sniffled.

She gave you one of those classic salt-of-the-earth Sarah Cameron smiles, the kinda smile that would light up any room she walked into. “Takin' it to the grave babe.”

A loud beeping caused both your heads to whip towards the window. “Shit, I completely forgot I was supposed to go on the HMS with pope and jj, we were gonna chill there until John B and Kie finished work.” She rose to her feet and extended an arm towards you. “Wanna come? Or we could drop you home if you’re not up for it.”

With a sigh you took her hand and pulled yourself up, walking beside her as you mentally prepped yourself to face the blonde you desperately pined for.

“Well rise and shine campers.” jj yelled out of the window of the drivers seat.

“Y/N! Where you been dude? you totally bailed last night.” Pope was next to speak as you and Sarah filed into the Twinkie. As JJ began to drive you avoided any form of eye contact in his general direction.

“I had to go help my mom out, blackout at mine again.” You didn’t even look at pope either, instead focusing your attention on the blur of trees and houses pacing by the window as JJ sped down the winding roads.

“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” pope, observant as always, pointed out.

“Uh yeah, I didn’t really get any time to change cause…”

“I called her last night when I got home, I was so drunk I don’t think I was ready to stop the party.” Sarah covered for you.

“Yeah I wrapped up helping my mom out and then this one calls me talkin bout a sleepover or something so I didn’t exactly have much time to change.” 

Thankfully pope had lost interest as soon as he had asked the question, otherwise, your overcompensating ass would have been caught out straight away. You always had to add to the lie until you felt like you had sold it completely.

Keeping your eyes trained on the outside meant that jj’s frown directed at you through the windscreen mirror went completely undetected. He always knew whenever there was something up with you and right there and then he knew something definitely was.

“Hey, you okay?” He didn’t need to address you explicitly for you to know he was talking to you.

“Yeah just tired.” You shrugged him off in an attempt to distance yourself from him yet again.

He knew you were lying but he didn’t understand why, you never lied to each other. Apart from John B, the pair of you were closer to each other than with anybody else in the group. You’d been best friends since kindergarten, and since then you’d sworn 3 things to each other.

1- You’d always share your snacks.

2-You’d always be best friends even if you argued.

 3- You would never ever lie or keep secrets from each other.

Of course, as the both of you grew older the rules became more and more lax. The snack sharing was limited only to when you felt nice enough and sometimes you’d go for days without making up if you had argued particularly badly. Having kept two friendship-breaking secrets from him, the childhood rules seemed pretty insignificant by now.

“Mhm,” he responded, flickering his eyes between you and the road. “Are we taking you home to change first?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll join you guys afterward though.” You chewed down on your nail anxiously as the tension from being in the same space as jj paired with the guilt from having fucked rafe prior, suffocated you.

JJ made a face as he focused on the road, something was wrong with you and he’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to put his everything into finding out what that was.

[freakywrites]

Play dress up

Kanato Sakamaki x you

Summary- ….kanato dresses you up? (DUH)

Can be read as fem reader, but anyone can wear a dress, so idk go crazy (*´-`)

Warning: UNEDITED - This isn’t really meant to be a romance, but like killing stalking romanticize it as you wish (jk!… it’s…it’s a joke) abuse!! he probably has u held captive - I think that's it?? One curse word???

Art made by me *im proud of it so praise me* (jk bit I did draw it like 5 in the morning so leave it be)

------------

Your stomach churns as you try to still your already fast beating heart and suppress the shaking fear you felt.

Sitting on a purple velvet chair you watched nervously as the violet haired creep delicately painted your nails, a sapphire blue. His big and dull eyes fixated on your hand that rested in his deadly pale ones, God forbid you even whimper when he makes a mistake and scratches rather harshly at your fingers.

“Doesn’t this color look good on them, Teddy?” Kanato spoke to the bear on your lap. “ I think so...” He mumbles to himself before blowing on the wet polish. “there you go! my doll looks too pretty~” he praised, and you could shiver at his nickname for you a reminder that you are nothing more than a toy to him. You're a living breathing doll he can treat however he likes with no pity or remorse.

The slim man grabbed your beaten up calf. You nearly yelped as he pressed gently at the fresh blue bruise and cuts, maybe testing for a reaction just so he has an excuse to get violent, but it's not like he needed one. Putting your foot so gently on his knee, he finally looked up at you, his eyes sending a cold wave over your body, his smile exposing those white fangs of his that hurt just by looking at them. “See? You look lovely in blue.” He spoke with such glee, almost taunting and playing with you, for he knows if you try to even push him away, he can force you back into submission.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Do you hate it?” His mood shifted and his smile dropped to a snarl nails digging at your skin. Opening your dry mouth, you spoke. “I like it.” A simple sentence sending him back to his toothy grin. “I’m glad because I like it too!” He gleefully spoke, loosening his grip on you.

He painted your toe nails next, and you hear the alarms in your head ring. A few days ago he was shaving your legs pressing a little to tightly he sliced your skin and as a reaction to the pain you yelped and kicked away only for him to grab you in anger yelling insults and cut at your skin till you where covered in red dripping beads of blood that he will lick at. But today, he had no weapons with him other than his teeth and hands

Before you knew it, he was done with his little forced manicure and pulled out a dress that was on the side of a table. He turned to you and spoke, "Come here." You reluctantly got up off your seat shifting a bit as you felt your sore muscles and skin ache like your whole body was one big bruise and with every step was a throbbing pain sent from your feet to your head.

"Do you know what kind of dress this is?" He spoke as be pressed it to your body. You would roll your eyes and sigh if that action wouldn't lead him to poke your eyes out with a needle or something. You spoke "u-um blue?" What an idiotic answer for an idiotic question. "Wrong! It's a dress modeled after the ones of the 1870s." He said, leaning into your face his tired eyes looking to your nervous ones. "I got it costumly made for you, so it'll fit you perfectly." You stare back at him and gulp down any of your insults.

You were finally dressed corset on not so tightly and flat velvet shoes on because he knows your feet hurt? For a guy that beats the shit out of you often, he has a weird way to care for you. While you stare in the full body mirror, you were surprised the dress was very beautiful and detailed black lace on the edges of the short sleeve and a v-neck that exposes your neck and colorbones probably for easy access but to top it of Kanato places a tear drop amethyst necklace with a chain of your preferred type of metal. How did he know that was your favorite?You hold the jewel in your hand, running your finger on the chain.

"Do you like it?" He said as he hugged at his teddy. And you nodded, tilting your head as you admire yourself before you spoke.

"...yes its...beautiful."

------------

A/N: ah yess diabolik lovers one of my first animas next to black butler.... yeah now I know why I had fucked up morales at the age of like 12.

Also got into it again cuz I reacently started watching itMustBeK8 and they watched like diabolik like a 2 years ago- BUT IM NOT OVER MY FUCKED UP VAMP DUDES IDC. AND go watch them they are one of the reasons im going through the week 🙄

Anyways love yall XOXO 💋

[wrenkenstein]

OC creation musings + Juno retrospective

I was rewatching this video by Rea, and it struck me that this exact phenomenon happened to me in 2022, with the first inklings of Juno's design - back when I couldn't decide on whether or not her name would be "Juno" or "Kite", and desperately trying not to make her a scientist. She's obviously come such a long way since then, having now become a very well-known character in the fandom, but I often think of the fact that had she not become on of my artistic passions, I probably wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today.

Juno is absolutely everything to me. She is a representative of my passion for storytelling, and she connected me with so many of my now closest friends - one of which is currently living in my house! How crazy is that, man! All of which I can attribute to simply becoming so fixated on my own OC that I couldn't stop thinking about her, or drawing her.

Of course, that's come with some highs and lows. She's getting a professionally done cosplay, a 3D model and potentially a Battlefront mod - but she also has her own dedicated group of haters who think she represents the 'wrongs' of fandom, lol. I certainly have recieved my fair share of 'Juno hate' in my 3-4 years here, but the positivity and support make it well worth dealing with a few rotten apples. It's radiant and outpouring, like a warm ray of sun, and it keeps me going deep into the night.

Anyways. Total tangent. Want to see all her design iterations? Yea you do ;) Here's the first ever Juno ref!

I made this on my phone in 2022, at the tale end of watching TCW and back when TBB was just one season. You can definitely see that the idea was always there, just a bit disjointed in its application. That gas mask on her helmet ended up causing a lot of confusion, so I removed it in later iterations - but to this day, I think this one picture is what really captivated me. Something about the aura, man,, she scary lookin

Then, of course, I had to draw what her face would look like - if it hadn't been for a RP, I don't think I would have.

Woah - she's like a whole different person! And you can see the beginnings of her white hair streak, though back then, I wanted i to be really subtle. And I was soooo adamant about this lol. She also was almost beat for beat Ellen Ripley, and you can see me paint over a picture of Sigourney below with her OG faceclaim haha.

Then we have the Juno-ing... part two. Where I went darker!! Both in themes, and in her color scheme. This one still has so much personality, and I remember being obsessed with how I drew her eyes and face back then. Nowadays, I think it's hideous. xD This was also around the time I was phasing out her gauntlets and oxygen mask, but both still remained for practicality purposes, even if they didn't serve anything to the design. Oh, and the hair streak. Now it's a Thing :tm: but it isn't really flowing well with the design - not yet, anyways!

We finally get to a point where I, begrudingly, accept the fact that her white streak is going to be her facial focal point - and at this point I'm laughing about how much I tried to avoid it LOL. But here, we also see her get more and more refined. Her face is still a bit wonky, but the stern vibe and posture are starting to come together and tell more of a concrete story, even if the reference doesn't have as much color or personality as the last one. I also did this one for my senior year of college!

I even designed her some totally BS civvies - and I gave her a s2 paint job, which admittedly looks hideous LMAOOO but we ball regardless. The second design was scrapped anyways almost immediately. The civvies stayed!

And then, of course, THE FINALE! Her face went through so many iterations with her current ref, but thus far, it's been the longest standing and most accurate one. It atually started out just as me goofing off with a marker pen in CSP, that quickly changed to "hey... this could be something good." And I was right! This is the Juno that's currently circulating today, and I've been polishing and refining her as I go, since I still feel as though I could perfect things.

And then, of course, her various outfits, which I posted about a while back. Oh - and have you seen Baby Juno?

Well now you have. :)

I think it's so cool to see how someone can fixate on a character and pour so much love and thought into them, that this character becomes their entire brand. Juno inhabits every part of my brain space and is what I think about 24/7. I'm so proud of how far she comes, and she reminds me about how incredible fandom can be and continues to be! Something about her is just so intoxicating to me. I can't get enough of her, and I can't wait to keep developing her over the years to come.

Which then begs the question - what is your equivalent to this entire thread? Do you have an OC like Juno, who you're fixated on and who dominates your creative pursuits? Do they have multiple artistic iterations? Because if you do, share them!! I WANNA SEEEEEE.

Anyways, that's Wren's Ramblings for today ~ I got bored haha

SHARE YOUR OCS!!!! >:0

[tsandoll]

hii bunny!! 🍑 anon here to ramble about riwoo..

because i’ve read some hcs on here about him and usually i default to imagining idols as doms but he seems like a lot of ppl see him as a sub and i think he could maybe be a sub leaning switch but yeah he is probably (in all of our depraved fantasy worlds) a subby boy

and definitely whiney. i think his whines would be so sweet n adorable like his fake little whines when he’s pouting and teasing you or ur teasing him and he doesn’t actually want u to stop but wants to put up a little bit of resistance.. and then his less voluntary whines and whimpers when he gets into the subspace u so easily put him in<333

i think he’d be so cute with an oral fixation, wanting to suck on ur fingers (and ur titsss plsss) omg so like imagine ur just like cuddling and watching a movie with him i could see him like laying his head on ur lap while ur sitting up or laying on you if you’re laying down and you could be playing with his hair or rubbing circles on his lower tummy and u don’t even mean to work him up, ur just cuddling ur sweet boy but he’s getting all flustered and thinking about u and the position you’ve got him in and he takes your hand and asks first cuz he’s very polite like can he suck on your fingers and ur like ofc baby and he’d just do it mindlessly for a bit but then you’re starting to get worked up at the way he just lays there and suckles at ur finger, and so you give him another one and when he so obediently takes it (albeit with the cutest little whine) you can’t stop urself from pushing your fingers a bit deeper into his throat u would never want to hurt him but u loveeee the way he squirms when your fingertips press on the back of his tongue aaahhhh im sorry i can’t tell if this makes any sense or he just super unhinged. uhm.

i was gonna ramble on about riwoo begging to suck on ur breasts and sitting in ur lap and sucking on them while ur watching tv or smth but i feel that might be a bittt much um anyways. sorry if this is too crazy or just dumb. yeah.

NO THIS ISN'T TOO MUCH NOR IS IT DUMB THIS IS REALLY GOOD HUN!!! i love subby riwoo its my favorite way to talk about him because it just makes so much sense to me.

overall he's such a good boy, so obedient and willing to listen to everything that you tell him to do but sometimes he does get super whiny. he talks back just a little at times but its not in an attempt to be bratty, its more him just wanting to have something to say. when you do certain things he'll whine out a very hushed, "so mean :(" or he'll just let out a whine of disapproval to you. he doesn't really mean anything by it but he can't help but let them out. when he gets into his sub space he really doesn't talk much so his whines and whimpers are his way of communicating things!

i like to think that the reason he loves desserts so much is because they taste good of course but also because they keep his mouth occupied with something sweet. he loves the fluffy textures and the creamy insides it makes him so happy. i could def see this scenario, he'd be so so sweet. he'd lay on your lap and as soon as he does his attention would be pulled away from the movie and he'd just play with the hem of your shirt or something like that, just mindlessly twisting it up in his fingers. he lets go with you, allowing himself to be a bit brainless, just letting himself fully be relaxed. he always hums so cutely when you play in his hair, he gives you the prettiest smile. me and thea actually have so many thoughts about riwoo having a sensitive lower belly, its a huge erogenous spot for him so the moment you start drawing circles on his skin he's getting all needy and hard.

you'd be so used to him needing your fingers in his mouth by this point that when he grabs your hands and starts playing with your fingers, just running his fingertips over your nails you'd already know. when you smile down at him knowingly he'd just be like, "can i?" he smiles around the finger in his mouth, staring up at you with such sweet round eyes, sometimes shutting them for a little bit. like you said he accepts another finger in his mouth so easily, hand wrapped around your wrist as he holds your hand up to his mouth. when you push your fingers deeper into his mouth he'd moan around your fingers, squirming around a little because of how hard he's getting, he's so so sweet and would get so so needy.

he loves being submissive for you because he loves that he doesn't have to do much. of course he'd take care of you just as well as you do him if u need him to but he loves to give up control and sit back and let you play with him however you please. he trusts you fully and is so willing to do what you want. whether he's domming or subbing is really up to how you feel that day!

[sharkface]

I'm not really interested in getting into this much more after this post but I am genuinely so appalled and disgusted at the level of vitriol directed at me recently for saying I have been sexually harassed on and offline by LGBT people and that I would like it to stop. I have said nothing but "I don't like it when people say extremely sexual things to and about me right away, especially after I've already expressed clear disinterest" and "I don't like it when people assert that I might be of X identity to make me seem more appealing or available to them instead of just asking me" and the responses have been largely to tell me how ungrateful I am and how I should stop complaining because I'll never experience "real" harassment the way I would if I were afab. It's not one or two ignorable incidents of out of touch weirdos feeling empowered to say crazy shit anonymously online, I got over a dozen asks, I've received an insane number of messages outlining the sexual things people want with me, talking about how I'm an effeminate femboy faggot and a bottom, asking me to detail what my dick looks like, which I guess I am asking for by posting pictures of my outfits every now and again, or something? And well. This is all nakedly fucked up, right? Like, these are weird and blatantly homophobic assumptions about my character based on what appeals to the person sending the message.

I'm honestly very confused how we lost the plot on the fact that while misogyny incites more sexual harassment on women than men and men are often the ones inciting said violence because they are structurally empowered and socially encouraged to do so that does not mean that men (including cis men) cannot be meaningfully sexually harassed or assaulted. And well. Clearly we've also forgotten that gay men and bisexual men are hypersexualized and emasculated and assaulted for being gay and especially being sexually submissive or enjoying penetration(which is seen as a given, especially if you look a certain way; I don't think I've ever expressed ANY sexual preference on this blog, nor directly to people I don't know well, but people draw their own conclusions anyway), but for some reason we think all of this isn't a serious offense if another LGBT person does it now.

Like, to me this really doesn't feel that complicated and I really don't think you can "What if they're queer" or "What if they're neurodivergent" your way out of that. I fear a lot of you really do think that you belong to a demographic that strips you of the capacity for harm because you think that having little to no structural power means you also can't have ANY social interpersonal power and that's an alarming precedent to see on the rise among people who somehow still consider themselves radical human rights activists. Like sincerely some of you just will not take responsibility for yourselves no matter what and you dress it up in all this unrelated unjustified cherry picked theory that says you're fundamentally good and any harm you cause is just the collateral of radical self love or something and it's fucking scary. "LGBT people are not inherently predators but this narrative is used to oppress them thus accusations of sexual violence towards them should be examined carefully" and "LGBT people are still capable of being deeply cruel and terrible to each other" are concepts that should not be controversial to anyone but you are all overcomplicating it through bioessentialist pseudofeminism that exists not to combat structural violence but to give yourself a pass for playing into it. You are ceding ground on the absolute most basic gay and trans rights and feminist concepts in the name of fixating on inactionable niches of vibes-based discourse that absolve you of responsibility for your actions and it makes you unsafe to be around.

You are not a radical, you are not a community pillar, you are a hypocrite and an active participant in the endangerment of other LGBT people. Overall, please get fucking real, abandon your emotional need to win arguments online and prove how pure you are at any cost, and start looking at the things that actually happen in the world around you and protect people from THAT instead of acting like everything everyone does should loop back around to making you feel good. And for the love of god. Stop meekly trying to fuck strangers in their inboxes and getting all guilt trippy and defensive and angry and continuing to push for reciprocation when they clearly aren't interested in you. It's not any less fucked up just because you're not a cishet dude.

[adelheidsideblog]

hcs for the axis being power bottomed by their fem s/o?

I'm assuming this means the s/o is being dominant, right? If you mean that the axis members are the ones power bottoming you can send an ask for that too! Feliciano:

He goes with the flow when it comes to sex and which role he takes, and would be more than happy to be a service top if that's what you needed!

Very whiny when submissive, and might even beg for you

As previously stated I believe he has a Mommy kink but is willing to play into whatever dynamic his s/o wants

Speaking of a mommy kink, I feel like he probably has a slight lactation kink that comes in full swing when he's being submissive

He's usually very generous with praise, but is even more so when being dominated because he wants to be a good boy

Ludwig:

I also feel like this wouldn't be too hard to convince Ludwig to do: contrary to popular opinion, I don't see Lud as 100% a dom/top and more as a switch. He tends to go with whatever his partner wants because he's a bit of a people pleaser, so if you ask to power bottom he would do it enthusiastically. He might be a little more reluctant to bring it up himself, though.

Ask permission before doing anything as a sub, more than usual at least. Especially before he cums (I feel like he might be into denial/edging a bit)

I feel like in a situation where his partner is power bottoming he might want it to be more on the softer side

With that being said I think he would like to wear a leash and collar while being a service top so that his s/o can pull on it (you'd have to work to get it out of him though)

Has the best puppy dog eyes when he's in subspace too

Kiku:

Kiku is willing to try everything once, but he probably isn't bringing this up on his own. He's more than enthusiastic to do it if his partner asks though!

I've said before that he's a munch, and I feel like when he's submissive he really likes being bossed around a bit and told to do it

Even if you've been having sex with him for years by this point, something about you power bottoming really has him blushing and unable to look you in the eye

I don't think he's a full fledged masochist but a bit of pain definitely encourages him when he's in subspace. Biting, scratching, hair pulling, you name it.

He's really into edging and drawing it out for you. He probably wears a cock ring to help him out too...

Lovino:

He would never in a million years admit to wanting to give up control, and you would have to talk him into it a bit. But once he starts doing it, he really loves it.

I'm not sure if it really counts as topping but loves to spend hours with his head between your legs when he's feeling submissive

When he's submissive he needs lots of praise and affirmations, so definitely a sweeter domme

I also feel like he would have a Mommy kink, and a definite breast fixation. I don't feel like he would want to go too far with it, not without a lot of convincing at least.

Has really strong sub drops, and might even cry even if nothing was "too kinky" so he'll need lots of cuddles after

Gilbert:

I feel like he's also down to try anything once but doesn't really feel the need to be submissive, and doesn't want to bottom. I feel like having his s/o power bottom him might be the best solution.

His type definitely seems to be bossy, which would translate to wanting a bossy/less sweeter domme than the others.

Also likes a bit of pain, especially when subbing. Probably goes crazy for scratches.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think if he was in the right relationship he might be into light degradation. Certainly not every partner he's ever had, but the ones he trusts the most.

I feel like he would be more prone to let his s/o power bottom if they've had a rough day. Almost like they're taking it out on him, in a way?

[aldritch-ao3]

genuinely this is my fav jjk fic ever. better than canon. i like how seamlessly you weave in all the new lore! The way we slowly learn more about jian's life (and btw. character who is possesive as fuck? yeah:3 thanks) is so well done. the interactions between jian & the rest of the cast kill me - i think part of the reason i ship everyone/jian is because you write their interactions so well it just feels like you can already tell how their relationship would progress, like it would be the most natural thing in the world. also more jian+gojo interactions. 4 me. or more jian+geto interations. 4 me. or- this fic is the one i am most excited to see update in my bookmarks atm, i'm so obsessed. genuinely feels like it's own origional story. jian is my #1 fav guy of all time. i am right behind you in being about to make jian doll. also i love the way you make og!naoya feel like a part of the story still - he's almost a ghost in it, despite still living, because irregardless of how little he appears on screen he still deeply affects the story. i love his parent arc btw. insane place to take his character and yet. it's so good. also you're single-handedly making me obsessed w/ muta despite not caring about him at all before this fic. your background character promotional agenda strikes again. i think he and yuuji should talk. two guys losing control(idk how to better put it but. you get me) of their bodies because of the jujutsu system.

ALL THAT AND YOUR ART FUCKS TOO. this ask is already too long so perhaps i shall return another day to gush about your artstyle.

this is such a nice ask ive been going crazy abt it since u sent it ... singlehandedly revitalizing me after a bad sleep night twice in a row. my hero and savior ...

i'm SO pleased to have any sort of impact on any of my readers, ESPECIALLY in making them more fond of certain characters! i think muta is like, my shining star hero and saviour and best friend and im overjoyed to hear i made even a single person consider his merits as a character more. he's so spectacular and has such remarkable potential and charm. ive said before that while i adore mechamiwa (and the rarepair of throwing kamo in the mix, even!) i wish there was more media, especially fic, exploring who he is as a person outside of the girl he loves. theyre sweet but both of them deserve to shine as individuals, too! my muta agenda. everyone must love him for ever and ever

even im surprised by the directions naoya has taken in this. it just felt right. natural. jian's influence on him, and his influence on jian, makes me kind of like, bouncing off the walls batshit unhinged in a way im not sure i could articulate because i have very little room to really showcase how they are removed from each other - after all, even when theyre separate, theyre bound together as something close to a single entity. im really attached. how did this happen? no one has answers especially not me

extremely flattered you enjoy my art, too ... im very out of practice drawing people on account of the one-two punch of a warrior cats and then sonic fixation that lasted like a year each, and getting to toy with it in a fresh exciting way is a treat for me. motivated entirely by My Guys! not that jian counts there because hes like a weird animal creature. but ive rambled enough about jian's design i shant bore everyone with it again.

asks are like a little treat for me forever. just for you i post more of my Drawigns

[oceanwithouthermoon]

the way i have absolutely flooded the kubosai tag is crazy😭most of the recent posts are mine.. my bad..

... anyway, im thinking about kuboyasu picking up different hobbies as a form of anger management, teaching himself coping mechanisms and to use his hands in more gentle ways and let himself make mistakes without taking his anger out in unhealthy ways..

knitting, crocheting, art (he already draws but he wants to do it more and start painting n stuff too), or even scrapbooking or journaling ?? he also already stress bakes/cooks lol.

and since he does it so much, he has so many little pieces of art and he ends up gifting most of them to saiki.. because kubo thinks theyre crappy, but saikis eyes lit up in a way kubo doesnt get to see often when he caught sight of kubos crocheted little pink cat with a suspiciously saiki-like grimace on his face.

so now saiki has all kinds of little knitted/crocheted blankets, pillow cases, stuffed animals, gloves, sweaters, etc. (he made a lot of scarves, bags, hats, coasters, etc. at first since those are easier for beginners, and at first he was keeping them for himself and his mom but the house has too many damn coasters and they do not need that many accessories and sweaters.. so the whole friend group started getting them, but mostly saiki.. and saikis mom started receiving some too).

and little paintings of cats (because kubo definitely loves cats but also saiki just reminds him of one so he draws/paints them for him a lot.. he doesn't know if saiki actually likes them, but he says he doesnt mind so..) and some cute paintings of their friends.. he makes a lot of vent art but saiki obviously does not receive that stuff☠️.

he also tried to learn yoga.. but he learns quickly that he just isnt very good at keeping his hands still and unoccupied for too long.. he might revisit that later, but for now hes just trying to at least learn slow and calculated motions with his hands..

he probably also starts helping kusuo and kurumi with their gardening (because they definitely have a garden). i doubt arens mom has a garden but i bet he could convince her to help him start one after enjoying it with the saikis so much.

the scrapbooking/journaling he mostly keeps to himself.. its mostly pictures of him and his mom, his friends, and him trying to document his feelings in messy pages of writing/doodles/choas..

i love the idea that he starts collecting stickers+fun pens+washi tape to use, which is something he totally would not normally fixate on but he starts getting really excited about it..

tbh it's probably mostly silly stickers from anime he likes, like one piece and dragonball.. a lot of his other interests like the yakuza movies wouldnt have stickers he could get so he just doodles the characters.

but he starts branching out into sillier and more colorful stuff, mostly thanks to chiyo, kokomi, kusuo, and shun. chiyo+kokomi have lots of girly stickers and glitter pens that they give him when they catch wind of the journaling..shun has lots of silly stickers from comic books and theres a surprising amount of harley quinn+poison ivy along with the mcu stuff(mostly spiderman).

chiyo+kusuo have like vocaloid+prosekai stickers, but kusuo mostly is just the reason aren has lots of bright pink+green on a lot of his pages hehe..

anyway, a lot of the gifts he gives to kusuo start getting really.. obvious ? he once gives him this crocheted pink cat with a blank expression and a purple dog whose taller and smiling, both wearing glasses, that are permanently knitted together holding hands☠️and kusuo just.. accepts it. and a lot of the stuff he receives along with their other friends are suspiciously more detailed than everyone elses and there are a lot of hearts and the cat+dog thing becomes a frequent motif and theres so many coffee jelly stuffies and keychains its insane

shun will get like.. a black and red sweater, meanwhile kusuo gets a purple sweater covered in pink hearts+matching gloves+a scarf+socks+a tote bag+a headband ??? aren are ur hands okay seriously

kusuo keeps every single gift obviously, and the first dog+cat plushies along with some other gifts are on his desk so he can look at them literally all the time..

yet somehow they arent dating yet😭aren basically professed his undying love with all the hearts and romantic ass offerings but neither of them have really said anything out loud yet☠️☠️

[broadwaybalogna]

Hyperfixations: what they are, how they work, and why they’re unhealthy

A PSA about my relationship with hyperfixations and why someone should get help if they’re experiencing something similar.

So, if you’ve seen me on this site/app, it’s probably been due to my massive love for Zutara and Katara. If you see me now, I almost barely use this site other than to reblog one or two Zutara posts I like. This is the result of an extremely unhealthy hyperfixation I had with Zutara.

A hyperfixation is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, but it’s easiest to explain it by breaking it up: a fixation is something a person is solely focuses on for a duration of time. This is often compared to a light obsession toward something. Most people can have fixations. It’s very easy to become enamored with something and make it a sole focus for maybe a day or two. The hyper aspect is what changes everything and why hyperfixations are most commonly associated with neurodivergent or autistic individuals.

Going from a fixation to a hyperfixation is easy to visualize. Imagine all the aspects of a fixation- just 10x more obsessive. A hyperfixation is basically the more unhealthy version of a fixation. I clearly remember myself staying up until 4-5am each night writing, drawing, and consuming Zutara content. It took up my every thought (seriously, almost all my thoughts consisted of Zutara. I could be at the beach and daydream about Zutara having a beach date, I would go shopping and look for Zutara/Katara merchandise, it took my my entire focus.)

There was nothing anyone could do to take my focus away. I was aware, in retrospect, that what I was doing wasn’t good for myself, but I was too obsessed to stop myself and take a break. That’s why when the hyperfixation finally died down, I almost left this site in its entirety. It was a sharp transition from hyperfixation to small preference; this is in large part also due to the fact that I began taking ADHD medication.

The medication I had stopped my hyperfixation, but it didn’t help any other factors that contributed to my attention deficit disorder, so I was on and off a variety of meds for a month or two.

When I finally stopped obsessing over these two, however, I was able to get good sleep, I was able to eat better, and I was able to better focus on what I needed to do rather than wanted to do.

Now, just because I’m not as crazy about Zutara as I was, it doesn’t mean I don’t like the ship at all anymore. My hyperfixation had to stem from a regular fixation/interest in order for it to get to the intensity that it got to, but I do think it is incredibly important to spread awareness about how unhealthy I was and how it manifested on this site.

From March 26th to August 5th, I wrote a total of 25 fanfictions and 40k words surrounding Zutara. That’s 2.5 fanfictions per week. Not to mention everything I was reading and consuming as well. I was also drawing. I made about 20 drawings with an average of maybe 1.5 hours spent on each one.

I was aware of the fact that what was happening to me was unhealthy, but I was so obsessed I didn’t want to stop. I actually didn’t want to take my meds because I didn’t want my hyperfixation to end.

That’s how bad things can get.

I hope this is helping to understand just how out of control something can become. The ONLY way I was able to stop was by taking prescribed medication that literally sends signals to my brain to stfu and leave me alone.

If this post has helped you realize that you may be suffering from some form of a hyperfixation or other ADHD related symptoms, please take the time to research and schedule an appointment with a doctor so you can be properly diagnosed and medicated. These kinds of obstacles that neurodivergent people face have many ranges and it’s important to realize that help might be needed.

Please please please do what’s best for you if you think you may be facing a similar problem. Because it is a problem, and it can hurt.

I hope this post was able to do good to some people. I really don’t want to imagine people in a place where I was where everything in my brain was so clouded aside from a ship.

P.S: this post is not a resignation of mine for Tumblr and my love for Zutara. It’s acting also as kind of an explanation for why I have been very inactive as of late.

[yowyowyaoi]

Scenes or Comic Panels I Would Draw If I Could Draw BC Some Of My Chatpost Ideas I See Better As Pictures Not Words, Part Two.

-Deidara having had way too much coffee or soda and is sitting with Sasori, explaining one of his favorite tv shows or something and just info-dumping like crazy. And the other Akatsuki members pass by throughout the day and they all wonder how the hell Sasori is just calmly sitting there, giving Deidara his full attention while the blonde just rants for literal hours. Finally Dei wears himself down and falls asleep and Konan goes in to check on Sasori and she’s shocked to see it’s not Sasori at all but one of his puppet body-doubles. Dei in his caffeinated frenzy just didn’t notice.

-Shikadai, Boruto and Mitsuki using a metal detector in the Nara woods, something sets it off so they start digging. Finds Hidan (his Jashin necklace is what set the detector off). Shikadai doesn’t know what to do with a talking head but Mitsuki mentions that his Parent makes bodies in his lab all the time. So they cart Hidan off to Orochimaru. Hilarity (or horrible, horrible chaos) ensues.

-Pakkun finds the Akatsuki hideout. Is preparing to inform Konoha of its whereabouts but recognizes something strangely familiar about the scent of the tall man in the orange mask. Waits a while, spies through the window at night and Mask-Man takes off the mask and. Holy shit. It’s the guy Pakkun’s master Kakashi has been mourning all these years. Leaves, goes to the rest of the ninken. The group all together waits until Obito is alone, ambushes him, and drags him back to Kakashi. They receive many treats and many pats that night. Pakkun is ring-bearer at their wedding.

-Deidara and Itachi start sleeping together in the winter. Not having sex but literally just sharing a bed. Because Kisame is cold-blooded and doesn’t provide the sickly Itachi adequate warmth, and Sasori being a puppet doesn’t get into bed with Deidara a lot as-is because he has no need for sleep, and when he does, his body doesn’t provide warmth either. Kisame and Sasori act like they’re fine with it but secretly kiiiiiinda jealous. Eventually Hidan wants in on the situation too because he feels left out of the “sleepovers” and Kakuzu sits up half the night counting money or reading the Bingo Book anyway. But Kakuzu … is MORE than happy to get Hidan out of his hair (and off of his expensive sheets).

-Deidara pregnant, asleep, and Sasori sitting just fixated on his belly. He gently puts his hand on the belly and the baby gives a little kick. Sasori makes a game out of asking the baby yes or no questions, with a kick being a Yes. Eventually Deidara stirs half-awake and asks “Will your Daddy shut up and let me sleep?!” and then he gives Sasori a kick off the bed with his own legs, mumbles “Good, hm” and goes back to bed.

-Sasori looking up to the sky and asking God to give him something beautiful from heaven. Out of nowhere Deidara explodes up out of the ground, cursing and dirty, into Sasori’s arms. Sasori looks at Deidara, then at the ground and is like “Thank you, Devil-san.”

-Kisame having a talk with Obito, formally asking his permission to marry Itachi. Obito asking how he managed to see through the Tobi persona, Kisame telling him that any idiot could see that “Tobi” was too far-fetched a personality to be believed. The others all say something similar to having figured out that Tobi was an Uchiha, except for Deidara who nearly faints. “I slept with an Uchiha?!” and Hidan is like, “Fuck the Uchiha part; are you telling me you slept with TOBI?!”

-Nagato noticing how much time Konan spends with Kisame and starts to think that maybe she’s attracted to muscles. So he secretly tries to work out but ends up spraining a few ribs and ends up in bed. Konan asks him what he was trying to do, Nagato confesses and Konan laughs. She tells Nagato that she goes out with Kisame so much because the shark is intimidating and being with him prevents men from hitting on her. Next scene is Nagato accompanying Konan to the grocery store, with every single one of his Pein bodies in tow, forming a terrifying wall around the couple, who are holding hands.

-((I think I’ve said this in a post before but)) All of the boys in the Akatsuki wanting to take a shirtless picture together, to show off their “muscles”. They ask Konan to take the picture but she’s offended they didn’t ask her to be in it. they say sure, thinking she’ll be in her bra but nope, she takes off everything and lets the twins out while she flexes. the final picture is Konan flexing in the center, Deidara, Hidan and Itachi fainted on the floor, Tobi has a red trickle coming from his nose area under his mask, Kisame and Zetsu are both alarmingly red, Kakuzu is seen outside fighting some white-haired pervert peeking in through the hideout windows, Sasori is studying Konan’s body with an interest that’s somehow more frightening than the others’, and Nagato is rushing up with a blanket up cover her.

-Kakashi walking down the aisle to Gai in a beautiful wedding dress, being escorted by Naruto and Sasuke on each arm, with all of the ninken holding different parts of his veil-train. Sakura is at the top of the aisle holding Gai’s wheelchair, monitoring his IV bags. He’s not fully healed from his war injuries yet but he insisted on doing this as soon as he could speak again. Lee and Ten-Ten are Gai’s “best men”.

-Hidan gets accidentally blown to bits by one of Deidara’s bombs. Loses everything but his head. Kakuzu tells Sasori that since it was HIS partner who caused this, he should be the one to make Hidan a new body. Sasori agrees. But after awhile Kakuzu comes to him and tells him to delay his progress by a few weeks. Turns out taking care of just Hidan’s head is a LOT easier (and stress-free) than keeping up with Hidan as a whole body.

[jamlessjj]

Portrait of Bono - colored pencil on 8.5 in. x 5.5 in. paper

I dedicate this post to my ultramarine blue colored pencil. Rest In Peace, you were this drawing's strongest soldier. 

The Short Version

I expect this post to be lengthy, but to summarize: 

There is music to be found in a face. I enjoy the way Bono's face harmonizes with itself, and I do not necessarily mean it in the sense of uniformity or the blend between a perfect interval. When I think of the harmonies in his face, I think of tension and contradiction, and an ambiguity that is pleasant to sit in and marvel at. It is kind of like hearing a full, tall chord that makes something in you buzz when struck, or seeing a mountain range jut into the sky, making the air ring from its boldness (I totally equate Bono's nose to a mountain, and those close to me know I love mountains). Sitting in this ambiguity, I felt like his features connected with one another in unexpected and exciting ways. To make another comparison, I feel the same way when I watch the moon rise at its fullest and map out a face in its craters.

Now, if you so desire to know the nitty-gritty of my experience with this drawing, read on. 

The Long Version

If you were to look up the dictionary definition of trusting the process, me working on this portrait would be exhibit A. Deciding to proceed with a portrait done in full color really set the tone. The last piece I have done fully in color dates back to August 2022. So, the evolution of this drawing began with me staring skeptically at my colored pencils and oil pastels for a good half hour, until I felt brave enough to even breathe on them. 

Right off the bat, I knew I wanted to generally structure the process around chiaroscuro, an effect and/or technique that focuses on strong contrast between light and dark values. In drawing and painting, the chiaroscuro technique involves beginning on a mid-tone surface. Darker (usually thinner) layers of the subject are added first, then the subject is built upon with increasingly lighter (usually thicker) layers. I felt like this focus on strong contrast would, in addition to shadows and highlights, also bring out the contrasting features in Bono's face, such as the harshness of his eyebrows versus the roundness/softness of his eyes. Whether the final product truly looks like a chiaroscuro piece is debatable, though I think following the technique's general guidelines helped me achieve the depth I was going for. 

I did not have any mid-tone paper on me, so the first 40 minutes or so were spent covering the paper in a thin layer of colored pencil: 

When working in color, I like to utilize complimentary color schemes. I am especially crazy about color schemes centered around blue and orange, and wanted to lean into that here. My rule of thumb was for the darker, shadowy layers, I would use blue tones, and for lighter layers, I would use orange tones. The blue layers were a place for me to loosely shape points of shadow and recession in Bono's face, and simply get the lines that make up his features down on paper. To be frank, it was at this point I began to wonder if committing to the bit and drawing Bono was a mistake. 

Engaging with the portrait at this stage was akin to repeating the same word so many times it fails to sound like itself. I was so intensely fixated on the tiny aspects of him that get lost in a glance--is the contour of his bottom lip aligned with his chin? Did I get the asymmetry between his eyelids right? Should I draw his freckles now or later? It was jarring to step back and consider each of these details in tandem with one another. I asked myself, are these features even working in tandem with one another, is this even Bono? Bomaybe? In retrospect, I think what alarmed me was seeing this layer exist on its own. To bring the harmony analogy back, I had struck only a single note with this layer instead of multiple. It simply lacked the context for depth and movement that other layers would hopefully provide. 

As for the lighter layers, I had mixed feelings about how to proceed medium-wise. Colored pencil is not a medium I frequently use, so I doubted my ability to get the thickness I wanted these layers to have with colored pencil alone. Initially, I considered using oil pastels for the lighter layers, but ultimately decided in this case, the textural disconnect between colored pencil and oil pastel might create some unwanted separation between the shadows and highlights. I ended up sticking with colored pencils, and I think this helped elevate the interplay between angular areas and softer areas of Bono's face.

Watching the layers slowly converge was quite satisfying. And, I finally got to draw his freckles!

Here is a close-up of the finished piece.

And the reference, shot by Anton Corbijn:

That's all for now. If anyone stuck around to the end of this post, thank you for taking the time to read it! I had a great time with this portrait, so definitely expect more U2 art.

[eliotquillon]

Can we get a Cameron drabble about her planning the wedding? Maybe it parallels how she planned her first wedding and how quickly she got married both times?

FINALLY working my way through my fic req backlog. anyway yes of course !!

Cameron doesn’t want to wait; she tells her mother as much when she calls home to break the news about the engagement. “Two months, max,” she says, phone glued to her ear while she scrolls through venue listings. Cameron really doesn’t want to get married in a church again, but she has a sinking feeling that, although he’ll never admit it, Chase totally does, and it’s proving impossibly difficult to find a church-esque building that is both not actually a church and has openings for the next few weeks. “Don’t worry about the plane ticket, I’ll book it for you and Dad.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” her mom asks suspiciously. “Is that why you’re rushing? Because I won’t be upset if you are, Allison. You can tell me.”

This, Cameron thinks, is a total lie. Nevermind the fact that her mother loves Chase, nevermind the fact that Cameron is in her thirties with a successful career and a nice apartment and a stable relationship with the kind of man her parents have been praying for her to meet—handsome and well-mannered and a surgeon and not remotely close to dying. Babies are still meant to be squarely kept inside of marriage, no matter how robust the circumstances. Luckily:

“I’m not pregnant,” Cameron huffs. “And it’s not–rushing. We’re just busy. It makes sense to have it sooner rather than putting it off and drawing things out.”

Because she will, if she thinks about it too hard. It’s exactly what happened last time: she got so fixated on things must be perfect, we’re only going to be married for a year if we’re lucky, this needs to be exactly what he wants that she woke up one morning and it had been six months since the proposal and it was looking an awful lot like Bob was going to need a wheelchair to make it down the aisle. One hell of a wake-up call: she’d gotten her head out of her ass and the wedding was held two weeks later. And, really, this isn’t like the first time at all. If there’s one thing she and Chase have, it’s time—time for a honeymoon, time to go house-hunting, time for children and anniversaries and a whole life ahead of them. But when Cameron thinks of sitting down to plan a big, expensive wedding—the kind of wedding her parents are more than willing to pay for, the kind of wedding that Chase deserves, really, because with any luck this will be his first and last marriage—her chest gets all tight with panic. She’s committing. She’s committed. But surely there’s no harm in just wanting to get it over and done with.

“Allison, honey,” her mom says, gentle, “nothing’s going to happen to him. He’s not going anywhere. Why not wait until next spring? You could—“

“You don’t know that,” Cameron cuts her off, hot and irritated; Chase could get hit by a car tomorrow, could be held up by the same crazy gunman who came after House a few years ago, could be mugged or stabbed or drop dead of a heart attack, and she’d feel so guilty, she really would, if waiting for nicer flowers or a prettier dress meant she could never call herself his wife. As a concession, she adds, “Anyway, we might be expecting by then,” because it’s true and it’s also what she wants to hear.

Predictably, this shuts her mother up faster than any real protest might. “Oh, that’d be lovely,” Cameron’s mom says, a note of real longing in her voice. “The two of you would make such good parents. Robert was so gentle with your cousin’s baby at the christening last year.”

“I remember,” Cameron says. Her cursor hovers over a promising-looking venue, and she injects some of the resulting smile into her voice: “That’s why we want to do things fast, you know? We want to skip to the good part.”

“Well, just let me know,” her mom is saying, something about booking time off work and navigating hotels and will there be a proper wedding party or is this a real bona-fide elopement, but Cameron isn’t really listening anymore. She can wait two months, she thinks. And then she’ll never have to wait again.

[erectedingold]

Tragic Ending

To be honest I always thought I'd have a tragic ending, and still do.

Never thought I'd have that good ending and I guess that's why I feel obsessed with the idea of a "Tragic ending" whenever I make films.

The idea that no matter the importance of the character from side to main that they should have a tragic ending the same way I believe I'll have one. Something about that sadness just makes a good story to me.

For example, If I get an Oscar I feel like I'll become a drug addict (sorry this is a little crazy) or just become mentally unstable because to have such a large platform I feel like you have to have something with you. When I do graduate from high school and start making active pushes onto my film maker dream I joke that "I'll end up in *big city* homeless with a dog and shopping cart." Because I don't know how possible it will be for me to become that film maker and creative that I want to be.

I also think that a tragic ending is what MAKES good story telling to me, you grow with a character from the start to the end through the good and the bad and then for all of that to be for nothing is so gut wrenching to me.

I had this idea for a short or feature about two teens that fall in love in the 70's called "Love Hotline" I wrote that with the idea of them breaking up in the end anyways because during that time I always thought if I got into a relationship it wouldn't work.

(I'm currently in one right now and I love her so much and that's why I'm lowkey thinking of changing that script if I ever go back to working on it because she has showed me that not everything has to have that tragic ending and I truly feel as though she is my person and that I do love her a lot, I know we're both kids and that I could be getting ahead of myself (Tbh a lie I don't think that I love her so much and if we do end then all my shit will have a tragic ending and I'll never love again) but I want to spend my life with her so bad)

I just don't see a good ending for me I guess, I don't know why but it's so strong in my head that my ending to my life or whatever will be tragic. I don't think it's a bad thing or that I'm sad about it or that I'm PRAYING that it's a tragic ending (I'm not suicidal btw I'm fine) but that just some how I feel either I reach my dreams then it ends badly, or I never make it and spend my life always trying to chase that dream.

I guess that's why I'm obsessed with this idea of a "Tragic ending" in my work, whether it be short films, writings, poems, or drawings / art this idea of a "Tragic ending" is one that is strong in my mind.

Thank you for reading this is my first little blog post type thing and I hope to make more, I never really got tumblr before but I'm a little bit of a frank ocean fixation and he got me on here lol.

- Diego

[plumbus-central]

How did you develop your art style? Like how did you find your own voice in your art?

Oh what an interesting question, I never expected to asked abt my art!

Honestly i took a while to think abt this question, and I think a lot i've done about developing my own art style came from seeing things i liked in other people's art and copying it lol.

For instance when i was in the [REDACTED] fandom when i was a young teen there was a very popular artist who used gradients in their work to add depth and color and i liked it a lot, so i started doing it in my work too.

A few years ago i started following an artist and really liked their work bc they had such a strong grasp of color, shape, gesture, and line. And they used these strong, thick lines to fill out the form of their work, but i noticed that the lines often didn't touch and that it didn't matter bc you could still understand and make out the form of whatever they drew just fine. So i decided to stop worrying abt MY lines touching either lol. which is how i ended up with those sort of ghost constructions of figures and shapes i do sometimes.

I can vividly remember seeing a comic on tumblr ONCE where i saw a character have just a line for a mouth that went off their face and i just stared at that panel for a while trying to figure out why i liked it so much lol until i realized it was their expression that i liked. So i kept that in my head, and a few years later i realized that i had started using it in my art too.

Another aspect that has influenced my art is exploring other media and being challenged by my own interests. Like when i was a teen i was very into steven universe and my own ocs. which was fine but didn't challenge me too much artistically. Then in college i got into bojack horseman, and specifically my favorite character was herb kazzaz, a short, fat man with a beard. Completely out of my comfort zone to draw, but i wanted to draw him so bad! so i figured it out!

(some of u might actually be familiar w/ my boajck horseman sideblog @hambone-fakenameington , it hasnt been updated in a while cause im on that rick and morty shit right now lol). But now i have to skills to draw these things by way of my interests in the character.

My fixation with rick and morty was actually so strong at first that i was drawing like crazy, which eventually taught me to focus on and hone my skills with gesture, thumbnailing, and composition bc i wanted to draw so many ideas at once that i couldn't spend too long on each one. (and it also gave me lots of practice). Thanks to my interest in R&M ive also developed skills in drawing very skinny bodies lol, but also on pushing expressions and gestures to extremes that i never used to!

Hell even just trying to figure out how to take features and details from characters in something and translate them into YOUR style can be a big learning and growing experience. (u can see in my old art it took me a while to get rick to look right)

So i guess the overall is that seeking out and consuming media is always important bc you can take a lot of inspiration from something without even realizing it. (honestly if ur feeling stagnant in ur art watching/reading something new can be a good way to jog ur brain). And taking a good look at the art you enjoy and trying to figure out WHY u like it, and what elements are stick out to u. Then seeing if you can bring those elements into ur own art and see if it's successful to u to explore it.

as far as voice goes um.... i guess what's become important to me is that u gotta know when to cut corners lol. like a hand doesn't ALWAYS need to be perfectly formed, like it can be a squiggle and it might even look better for it. sometimes loose and sloppy looks good for what ur doing and sometimes heavily defined and carefully lined work is necessary but i gotta remember that the clean art is built on the back of the sloppy studies. and stray lines, warped perspective, and unaligned facial elements can give a lot of character to a work that might otherwise seem bland and stiff.

thank you so much for the question it was fun to take a look at my work and reflect on how i got to what i have as a style now! R&M has honestly done A TON for my art style and drawing abilities that i didn't realize till now.

Also worth mentioning bc i forget how much of my life i share w/ you guys but i also have BFA in Illustration with a focus in Animation Arts and Sequential Art.

[megaawkwardhuman]

15 questions thing

Thanks for tagging me @someguywife :)

1) Are you named after anyone? birth name: no. my preferred name: yes named myself after the lead singer of a band I liked at the time!

2) When was the last time you cried? last night while badly singing a mitski song.

3) Do you have kids? do plush children count? if so yes I have kids and I have a loooot of them.

4) Do you use sarcasm a lot? no but every now and then I use it. (it honestly depends on who I'm talking to.)

5) What's the first thing you notice about people? don't really know probably the way that they talk maybe?

6) What's your eye color? dark brown. (but not too dark you can't see my pupils)

7) Scary movies or happy endings? if I HAD to pick happy endings tho I do love both equally.

8) Any special talents? ok this is going to sound crazy and idk if it's a talent per se but I've scaringly good at predicting things. it's never anything MAJOR (well except that one time I predicted the queen of england's death two days before it happened BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY) but I've predicted minor things both on purpose and on accident WAY too many things for it to be a coincidence. idk I could just be crazy. (I'm probably just crazy)

9) Where were you born? Some where in california. (That's as much as I'm gonna say)

10) What are your hobbies? drawing, making kandi (if you don't know what that is they're these plastic bracelets that are common among ravers and some subcultures tho I'm not a raver nor am I in the subcultures they're common in I just think they're neat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), writing every now and then, and whatever I pick up at 3am and fixate over for a week.

11) Do you have any pets? yes a german shepherd. :)

12) What sports do you play/have you played? never really played any sports competitively. I did swim a lot growing up tho and I was really good if I do say so myself. haven't swam in YEARS (maybe one day but not anytime soon)

13) How tall are you? 5'10 but wish I was taller.

14) Favourite subject in high school? art! sadly I only had it freshman year but I fucking loved it! honorable mention to my freshman year theater class mainly for the people who were clearly only in that class cause they needed the credit/placed in it and couldn't get out of it which lead to many interesting moments.

15) Dream job? I don't have anything in particular in mind really. maybe something that involve art of some sorts but idk.

I personally feel weird tagging people on posts but feel free to do this if you wanna :D