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aminiatureworld · 3 years ago

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Leaden Dreams

Characters: Albedo, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 1,908

Warnings: Vague depictions of sleep paralysis

Premise: In which the reader experiences sleep paralysis

Author’s Note: First time writing Kazuha! I just finished his story quest today, so I hope that I have an okay grasp on him. Still working on his talking style a bit but I adore his personality.

Also though I experience the part of sleep paralysis where you’re awake but can’t move (can’t recommend the experience) it’s usually during the day so I don’t really experience dreams. As of such if this is inaccurate in any ways I’m very sorry.

Albedo

Albedo knew about sleep paralysis on a theoretically level, knew that it was a phenomenon that caused one’s brain to awaken when the body was still fast asleep. He’d never given the concept much thought, not any more than he might any other bit of science that remained shelved in his mind.

Now that was certainly not the case.

Albedo knew the telltale signs, the small spasms that revealed the battle between your mind and your body. Knowing that you were fighting to move your limbs, open your eyes, relax your jaw, he would always speak first, knowing that you might not immediately respond.

“It’s alright my dear, I’m here. I know it’s frightening, but I promise you’ll be able to move soon. Just focus on one thing, alright? Maybe your eyes this time, since last time you tried moving your tongue. That’s it, just one thing first. It’s always better to start small.”

He wouldn’t move from his sleeping position until you regained control of your body, afraid that a sudden touch might cause you even more distress. Keeping himself carefully pressed into the mattress he didn’t fare lift his head, for fear his face might melt into something frightening. Since he knew he was helpless, his goal became to stop things from getting worse.

The moment you began to move however the alchemist would jump into action. Turning lights on he would pick up the glass of water from his nightstand before gathering you up into his arms, positioning himself so you could listen to his heartbeat as you drank. The first time it had happened he had left the room to get the glass to soon, and the memory of you curled up desperately into the covers still tugged at him.

Albedo would then go through what you had half-dreamed with you, thoroughly debunking all the distortions of your normal life. That shadowed human outside the window was a combination of the balcony and the half opened curtains. The voices were partially his own, partially your brain trying to process your own breathing. The figure hiding behind the door of the hallway was because of the boxed piled along the other side of the wall. The people dancing on the ceiling could be fixed with a repaint. Over and over he would remind you of the fact that you were safe, that your amygdala was simply going into overdrive. Over and over he would thoroughly debunk your nightmares until once more things settled into place, piles of clothing becoming one more fabric, dressers no longer dancing as if possessed.

He would tell you to wake him up if he began falling back to sleep, determined that he should be watching over you to make sure an episode didn’t happen as you were falling back asleep.

In reality though you didn’t mind if he drifted off a little before you. His breathing was a soothing melody, his slow, steady heartbeat a rhythm with which you could anchor yourself. He was staid and sure, and that was something you grasped onto desperately, something you would never stop appreciating.

Soon enough his reasons would soothe your mind, and you’d fall once more asleep.

Kazuha

The first thing Kazuha always did was pull the blankets over you. If the outside world was threatening you, then he’d simply block it out.

Making a cocoon around the two of you he would begin to tell stories. Fairy tales, things that had happened to him during his travels, anything that you brain might latch onto. The stories were always very short and self-contained, easy to understand, and through your panic addled brain you always seemed to find them.

Sometimes when things were particularly bad he’d softly cradled your hands, careful not to move to quickly or too suddenly in case the sensation caused you to panic even more.

“Our hands fit together so well, don’t you think? I could write a poem about them, or maybe about yours. Maybe you’ll help me with it after this is over? It will be soon dearest, I know it will.”

Sometimes he would sing little songs that he’d picked up. Usually sea shanties, their rhythm helped you, less complex than poetry, more lyrical than the jagged fear that screamed at you.

Kazuha wouldn’t ask you to share immediately. When you finally moved he would first squeeze your hands gently, kissing them before your forehead, asking if it was too hot beneath the blankets, then making sure a light was on if you needed a little fresh air.

He never acknowledged what had happened before you did, but he wouldn’t pretend like it didn’t happen either. Instead he would ask if you wanted to listen to a story or tell one. Whichever you chose he would keep holding your hands, making sure that even when he gave you space there was still something that grounded you.

Sometimes when you cried he would tell a very specific story.

“There once was a warrior, brave of heart. So brave were they that shadows tried to chase them. Someone this noble cannot exist! They cried out. The warrior must be false. We will find their weakness. However no matter how hard they tried this weakness was never found. For the warrior was truly brave in heart and soul.”

Normally you might consider such a story overdone, but in those liminal moments between fear and sleep the story format helped. This was simply a harrowing part of a story, but there would surely be a better end.

Scaramouche

Scaramouche never thought that he’d ever sleep next to you.

Humans were loud and irritating, and that only became more true when the Harbinger was trying to get a few precious hours of sleep.

However after a particularly bad week he decided that the only solution to your terrible lack of attention was to deal with the matter himself.

He wasn’t necessarily nice about it, grumbling about your poor sleeping habits, saying that this was an awful waste of time. However the moment that panic consumed you, the moment that things started to twist around you, you felt a sudden hand on your arm.

“These idiotic phantoms are nothing. Come on, I know you’re strong enough. How could you ever let something so puny win against you.”

Though you certainly didn’t agree with him about that you had to admit it helped somewhat. Though your initial panic never disappeared, it became easier to climb out of your dreams, to see a light at the end of the endless tunnel of fear.

Every time you jerked once more awake Scaramouche let himself admit some sort of relieved satisfaction.

“You’ve done it again. As you always have. I don’t know why I bother sleeping here when you’re competent enough on your own.”

Nevertheless Scaramouche would always let you embrace him, not commenting on the tears that often accompanied you. Loosely resting his arms on your back he let out exaggerated breaths.

“Will you sleep now?”

It didn’t matter if you said no. Scaramouche would simply mutter something about bad sleep habits, but he would nevertheless stay awake.

He would always fall asleep last, even when his eyes burned slightly and his body called out for rest.

If he was going through all this trouble after all, he might as well see it through to the end.

Xiao

Xiao saw dreams as extensions of human karma, of human wants and needs and wishes.

If a human dreamt a good wish, it was a revelation of their hearts desire. If they tossed and turned with nightmares it was their fears and shames manifesting. A dream was never just a dream, a shuffle of random events and names and faces. Dreams were alive; dreams had their own wills, all connected to the will of the human they were attached too.

Xiao loathed to see you haunted by your dreams. How could someone so wonderful as your be chased by something so awful? The little that you told your partner caused a distant sort of dread. He could never understand your fear of falling asleep, but he surely felt the dread of whether or not you might be allowed peace.

The threads that surrounded you, that surrounded all humans, always tensed when you were entering an episode. Careful not to leave your side too much Xiao would light a few candles, not too much to be jarring to your eyes, not too little to add to your nightmares. If you could only open your eyes then Xiao would pay even more attention, making sure that the dim lighting didn’t add to your distress, shifting the candles or blowing them out if need be.

Xiao didn’t talk much normally, but he would keep up a steady stream of questions in these moments, even if you couldn’t answer them. Whether you were aware of his presence, whether the window being open was a problem or not, whether you needed more light or less. He would keep these questions in the back of his mind for you to answer once you could again, not only so he could do better next time, but in case the nightmares we too close to be spoken about.

Usually Xiao would ask about them again in the morning, and sometimes you would discuss it then. Though the yaksha knew that nightmares were often the fears that humans accumulated, the curses that attached themselves to unsuspecting victims, he never talked about that aspect with you, indeed when he talked about it at all. Most of the time he would just listen, tracing soft circles along your back and down your arms.

Right after an episode Xiao would make his way over to you. Most of the time he would stay in one place while the episode was happening, near the candles or by the window, making sure he didn’t startle you anymore. Now though he might move every once in a while, or turn your head softly towards him if your eyes became fixated on one spot in the room. Always he’d go to open the window, and the familiarity of the routine became something that lulled you back into a sense of piece.

Not sleeping himself Xiao never told you that you need more rest, that you should go back to sleep. If you needed to stay up the rest of the night so be it, he would be there with you. If you were too tired and found yourself drifting off to sleep he would promise to protect you, to fight off any demons that might be lurking.

Sometimes Xiao feared that his burden of curses exacerbated your sleep paralysis. Those evenings he would wait for you to sleep before slipping away. Always he would leave his sleeve and his mask, making sure that if you woke up you would still have something of his presence to comfort or protect yourself with. Those nights he would stare out into Liyue and think about all the things that he carried with him, all the things that you did too.

Regardless of those nights he would be there in the morning.

“Did you sleep well afterwards?” He would always ask. Regardless of your answer, which he would surely pay attention to after his second question, he would stare into your eyes.

“Do you think things would be easier without my presence?”

Always you said no.

#idk why but I enjoyed writing xiao especially for this #not that I did love all of these this is such a good prompt #genshin impact fanfiction #albedo x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #scaramouche x reader #genshin albedo #kaedahara kazuha #genshin scaramouche #genshin xiao #genshin impact #scenarios #headcanons #very short scenarios lol #requested #my writing

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ruby-whistler · 4 years ago

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hi, here's a short (long) analysis of this song which you should at least give a watch in my opinion! you might not like it, but you also might, so i say give it a shot.

anyways, here's my personal interpretation of the lyrics i (co)wrote. ani might have a completely different one, but you know.

beforehand, i need to point out that the first half of this was written before c!wilbur's revival and the second one was written after.

so, starting with the title

my motivation for it was c!wilbur's general role in shaping the narrative of the server, as well as cc!wilbur often joking around about scripts and other plot elements.

another thing was a clip of him talking with philza about how he thought the server's storyline was becoming very scattered, and i got the idea that maybe when c!wilbur comes back, he might try to rewrite the plot to his benefit as he has done time and time again.

hence, the idea for the song was born in my mind as i was falling asleep one night, because that is the only time i get good ideas.

the first half

"history, history, s'told by the winners, made by the sinners"

this was a reference to wilbur quoting the famous line "history is told by the victors". the reason i chose to use this set of words is because although the winners (wilbur) are the ones telling the story, the people who actually make the impact are often flawed, and genuinely invested in the cause (rest of l'manberg).

while c!wilbur knew the cause of l'manberg was false, he let the "sinners", or people he considered lower than him, since he was the one "telling" the story, win the war for him and make history as he altered the finished "story" in his own favor.

"so lie that you'll free them, s'long as you lead 'em"

this one is pretty self-explanatory. wilbur promised the revolution freedom in return for total loyalty to him, his power, and his country.

i'd also like to point out the use of "you" in this song - this was written, once again, before the revival; it was however expected that dream was going to bring wilbur back at some point. and i'm pretty sure ani doesn't know this, but writing this, i intentionally made the "you" wilbur is singing to be dream.

in essence, wil's telling his newfound ally about how powerful he is due to his abilities to "rewrite the script" - picture this being your usual villain monologue song after a dramatic return, since wil's always had a knack for the theatrics. keep this in mind for the rest of the explanation of these lyrics.

"the ink doesn't dry 'till time blows by spin a silver web and they're comply"

i absolutely loved this lyric, i couldn't stop gushing about it. ani came up with this one completely, so i don't know whether or not it has any deeper meaning, but i wanted to point it out because it sounds hella cool. the second part is about c!wilbur spinning lies until people would listen to him and do what he wants.

"smiles in the mirrors, reality's a game"

this line was meant to give an idea of just how screwed wilbur's perception of the world and people around him is, in that he treats everyone's lives as a narrative, as a symphony, as something that belongs to him and is free for him to play with.

smiles in the mirrors can be taken in a lot of ways, but one interpretation i like is that wilbur and dream as characters are parallels in their actions, but no one realizes it because the narrative paints them in different lights and the tragic hero and puppeteer respectively, when it's moreso the other way around.

"with help from the spinners we can shift all the blame"

spinners are the people wilbur uses to "spin" the tales for him. and, well, he's always been very good at shifting the blame and making himself out to be a victim.

seeing as he's talking to dream, in this line he is also reassuring him that he has people on the outside that can help them "rewrite" the current narrative and shift the blame away from dream and wilbur, in order to change the public's perception of them, which is at the time overwhelmingly negative.

"and if the world hunts you down out your mind and around we'll set their precious world adrift, adrift"

this is the most obvious pointer that wilbur is singing to dream. he is directly telling him that since the people of the smp have "hunted" him (or would, if he were to escape), and have hurt him mentally and physically in the prison, wilbur would work with him to destroy their lives and their world as they know it for their mutual gain.

it also brings forth his views of possession and power; in essence, he sees himself as in charge of the lives of everyone in his story, hence finding their realities fragile and fully his own to mess with. he finds it amusing that he has full control over something so "precious" to them, and mocks this sentiment in the last line.

"and if you don't like what's shown and you feel like no one's grown just, rewrite the script!"

this was the first lyrics for the song, which ani wrote, after i proposed the idea. this begins a trend in the song where wilbur will alternate between talking to dream and the viewers themselves.

here he is directly addressing those who don't like the way the smp has been since wilbur has stopped writing, and who call out the lack of character development in certain people's stories. he is reassuring them that now that he's back, he will rewrite it to be more entertaining - for him, that is.

the second half

alright, now we're going over what i myself wrote the day wilbur was revived after getting a surge of inspiration.

"screams, broken voices poor writing choices"

this starts off with revived wilbur's opinions on the new storyline he has come into. the first line refers to the torture dream is going through in prison, and the second is him simply commenting on how he finds the plotline inadequate after his return.

"dreams of redemption caught my attention"

the interesting thing about this is that wilbur, as has been shown before with eret, doesn't believe in people's redemption.

this line insinuates that even if there was any chance of the circumstances changing and dream getting better, now that wilbur was back, he wan't planning to let that happen, as he finds it one of the aforementioned "poor writing choices".

it caught his attention as something he finds interesting - since he's always had a twisted fascination with people's hopes and goals, finding ways to use them to his advantage - but in the end, naive, since his outlook on the world has always been quite cynical.

"train wheels screech on the rails in the end, my world prevails"

this was an attempt to shove a reference to the stream i had just watched into the song. the train stopped in limbo, and it came to get him back out to the world of the living.

the second line is him boasting that he knew all along that his efforts to gain people's loyalty would would pay off in the end, and hence his "word" prevailed even over death.

"i've got tales in store, of loss and of war it's a shattered world for me to restore"

see, this entire sequence is quite the oxymoron, and it's meant to be confusing, showcasing once again just how twisted wilbur's outlook on the world is.

he finds the story "shattered", which is a reference to cc!wilbur saying he prefers more centred stories than what the dsmp is right now. he is promising to fix this, finding it another game for him to play, another puzzle for him to solve, however, his definition of "restore" is proven by the previous line to be a contradiction at its core.

he has plans from his time in limbo, and just like all of his stories so far, they're tragic and traumatizing to the people playing in them. he plans to perpetuate war and conflict in order to make the story more lively and dynamic, while using loss as a tragic element to push the "characters" in their lives further towards development.

in the end, the way he's planning to "restore" the world is by rewriting the narrative in such a way that it wouldn't stagnate, or work itself out naturally, but continue endlessly for him to write and control.

"villains and heroes, traitors and moles when push comes to shove they'll burn the world for their goals"

the second part of the first line was meant to be "interchangeable roles" instead, but we switched it out so it would be easier to sing.

it's talking about how after all, it doesn't really matter to wilbur who the villain or hero is, as long as they are part of the narrative that he has power over.

"and if i harness the flame their hope will blaze all the same no time for interests to conflict"

this is confirmation of the previous point that he can use people's feelings against them and in order to perpetuate his own "interests". as long as he can make people think he's helping them, even if their goals are different, there won't be room for them to truly conflict.

the people on the dream smp all burn with hope and passion and human emotions he can exploit and use in favour of himself and his story, and even then they won't get any weaker. he sees them as an endless fuel source he can take from, essentially.

"so when you're blue and betrayed by all the choices you've made just, rewrite the script."

the last lines of the song, and here he is speaking specifically to the characters in the story. all of them have made mistakes and been "betrayed" by their choices to trust others, which left them or others grieving or hurt.

wilbur is in essence mocking this, by pointing out, once again, how simple it is for him to "just rewrite the script", and take all of their "blue" away - while also making it clear that he only plans to use this power to take further control by driving those he sees fit further down their path of revenge and villainy.

epilogue

thank you all for reading, whoever did! this song was truly a passion project for me to work on, and i loved coming up with deeper meanings to the lyrics, by using my own personal interpretation of the character. i get that this is not everyone's interpretation, but i like it. i also really can't wait for what wilbur's up to now that he's back. either way, have a nice day!

#dream smp #rewrite the script #fansong #fansong analysis #c!wilbur #long post

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danny-chase · 4 years ago

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Hello, are there any Cassandra Cain fans/stans that could help me out with her characterization? I’ve just started to get into writing fanfiction (I haven’t posted any, and am working towards getting more confident with writing the characters in general so hopefully I’ll post some someday) and I haven’t been in the fandom long. Cass is a confusing character for me to write, mostly because I feel like she’s written differently in everything she’s in. And her personality absolutely got erased and overhauled in the New52. I’ve read some of her Batgirl run (it was awhile ago ngl) and I read the storyline where she was introduced in the New52 and the Rise and the Fall of the Batmen (I think that’s the arc she’s involved in with Detective Comics). Idk, more under cut.

My goal in writing Cass is to make her seem like a real person and I’m drawing more on pre-New52 than post-New52. I feel like she used to have so much more to her than just being like a perfect person and the sweetest person in general. Not that she can’t be sweet (I love cinnamon bun Cass too), but she used to have much more grit to her personality it seems like. I’m blending the two personalities, and I’d really like to focus on her love for dance, it’s one of the changes I really liked, and of course her connections to her siblings because I love sibling dynamics. Currently I’m working on a fic where she ends up dancing with each of her siblings. I like the idea of writing her as a bit snarky or sassy (the kind of person that just stares at you with the “really” expression when you do something dumb), more introverted, a bit of a little shit, self deprecating, but genuinely kind hearted, driven, and a perfectionist. I also don’t want to write her as being a magic character that instantly knows what’s wrong with a character. Yeah, she can read body language, but her family is good at hiding things, they’ve been trained recognizing body language and I’m guessing some of them have worked to have good control over their own. My interpretation is she can tell what people are feeling but not why, and how they’re going to move. I’ve written a little bit of the fic so far (um please don’t feel obligated to read through it, any comments on how you think Cass should be written is helpful) so I’ll post it below. Thanks for reading this far if you made it XD.

I don’t have a title for this lmao but the fic starts here:

“Hey.” Dick gently placed a hand on her shoulder as he hopped down from his spot on the water tower. “You know who’s my most favorite, strongest, most beautiful, spectacular-”

Cass groaned; he was making the face. He was wearing his Nightwing mask, but as she turned to look, she could already tell he was making the face. Dick ignored her groans and continued “-most perfect, amazing, gorgeous, sweetest, nicest, kindhearted, thoughtful-”

Cass pulled away; she would not be doing what he asked. Nope. The last time she heard Dick talking like this, Barbara ended up agreeing to dog sit for Titus. The dog chewed everything in the clocktower; they were still finding ripped up socks in various locations. “He’s so well behaved” he said. “It won’t be for that long” he said. “You’re the best thank you so, so much” he said. On the bright side, Dick had bought her new ballet shoes to replace the ones Titus tore through. But they’d taken weeks to break in and-oh he was still talking.

“-smartest, wisest, funniest, loveliest, badass, awesomest, funnest-” Cass placed her hands on her hips and stood up to meet him. The stakeout had been going fine on her own, at this rate she probably didn’t need his backup anyways, so if this was something stupid, she could always tell him to leave. She gave him her best “bat-glare” as he continued to mumble on compliments. “fantastic, reliable, trustworthy-” his voice grew smaller as she continued glaring. He cleared his throat “sister of all time?” He finished.

Cass sighed and leaned back against the tower’s support. “What do you want?” Dick gave her a weak smile, embarrassment radiated off him. That couldn’t be good.

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase.” Thank heavens for that. “But like, just know I love you so much.” Cass wished she could stick her tongue out, maybe the domino mask was the way to go. She settled for lightly shoving his shoulder. He grinned at her, doing his best to seem casual, but slight tension in his neck gave away his discomfort. Dick was always hard for her to read, he was a performer from birth, and had excellent control of his posture and facial expressions. He gave himself away in movement, in the lack thereof. He could paint the perfect mask, but it slipped slightly when he moved. He was nervous, anxious, exasperated, and worried. Cass was intrigued.

“What is it?” She said, more gently than before, turning back to watch her mark. She could hear Dick let out a deep breath.

“It’s Da-Robin. He got invited to a formal.” Cass turned back and cocked her head. “Don’t give me that look, you know how he is.” He said, shifting his weight. “It’s a school event, so they’ve been learning ballroom dance in gym. But I got a call the other day from the gym teacher saying he’s not participating.”

“Why should he?” Cass asked. “You shouldn’t force people to do things they don’t want to do.” Living with the family long enough had taught her that. If the kid didn’t want to dance, he shouldn’t have to.

“Yeah, I know.” Dick replied a bit flatly. He moved to crouch where she had been sitting and focused on the building across the street. “But I don’t know if he doesn’t want to, or if he’s just embarrassed.” Cass thought for a moment. “I don’t suppose he grew up with many dance lessons.” He added a bit apologetically. She shook her head.

“Have you talked to him?” She asked. Dick sighed.

“I tried. But he kept switching topics and when I pressed it, he locked himself in his room. Which is why I’m concerned.” Cass hummed in affirmation. It made sense.

“Why haven’t you tried teaching him?” Dick wasn’t a bad dancer, and he’d always performed quite well at the galas.

He looked back at her sheepishly. “I gave it a go last time I was at the manor. But he stormed off before we could get anything done. Something about me being an embarrassment to the family.”

Cass rolled her eyes under the cowl. “What did you do?”

“I just wanted to do some jazzercising to warm up, what’s wrong with that?” Dick spluttered in response. Cass lightly smacked the back of his head. “So anyways, I lost my chance at it. I can’t even play music without him running away.” He continued, ducking away as she tried to tap him again. “Besides, you’re probably a better height to practice with for him.” She scoffed in response.

“When’s the gala?” She asked. It slipped out without her permission. She wasn’t getting involved. The kid could figure it out on his own. Couldn’t he?

“It’s next weekend.” He replied and sighed. “I don’t want him to miss it. He never does stuff that’s age appropriate.” Oh, no. Not that card. Cass would not be involved, she had work to do. She stepped back to lean against the tower again and bit her lip. “And some girl in his class asked him to go. Her name’s Maps and she’s a really good influence on him.” She crossed her arms tighter. Damian was rude to her. He called her Cain. Not. Getting. Involved. “She’s so energetic, it helps him loosen up-” Damnit.

“Fine.” Dick whipped around to look at her, not bothering to hide his disbelief. She squirmed internally. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about the kid. It was just easier to spend time on her own. The kid was better off without her influence anyways.

“Are you sure, I could ask Steph or I don’t know-” He continued.

She cut him off. “I’ll do it. I don’t mind.” The others wouldn’t work. Dick knew that going into the conversation. They were too…loud in their judgement. Steph would laugh at the wrong time, Tim would say the wrong thing, Jason didn’t have the patience for the kid’s temper, and Duke would be a safe bet, but was away on Outsider business for the next two weeks.

Dick practically melted in relief. “Thank you so-”

“You owe me, big brother.” Cass reminded.

“Anything you want, little sister.” He promised. “Are hugs acceptable as a down payment? I could kiss you right now.”

“Eww.” Cass made a face under the mask but strode forward as he opened his arms and stood for a hug. He eagerly wrapped her in a bear hug. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re winning sister of the year award.” He said as he released her.

“You’re making me cookies.” She retorted. Dick grimaced.

“Can I buy them?” He asked hesitantly. She shook her head.

“Homemade, with love. And I’m watching.” She added, smirking under the mask. Dick sunk back down into position.

“I’ll do my best.” He promised. Cass snickered. The last time Dick tried making cookies, he apparently caught his oven mitts on fire. There was still a bit of cookie dough on the ceiling he hadn’t noticed yet.

A flash of movement jolted her back into reality, their mark was making his move. She shot her grapple, and Dick quickly followed suit. “I’ll text you the plan tomorrow.” He promised as they leapt into the night.

Thanks so much if you read this far, and please comment or send me feedback directly if you have the time and don’t mind. I’m sorry if you completely disagree with how I characterized her (or Dick/Damian for that matter) I’m mostly relying on Damian’s canon interactions with her and Dick’s half canon half fanon personality (I know they don’t get on great in the comics...but sibling dynamics) and the rest of this portion of the fic would focus on Damian earning more respect for her (and learning to call her Cass - not Cain).

#i don't know how i feel about posting this #this is the first time i've posted some of my writing #and it isn't betad or anything #please help me #i don't know what i'm doing #i don't even have an AO3 account cuz i'm such a noob #it's gonna take time #a whole lot of precious time #but someday i will hopefully post a fic or two #if i ever finish one of them...#cassandra cain #batgirls #batfam #batman #dc #black bat #orphan

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mentalhealthandgames · 4 years ago

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Analysis on Celeste:

Celeste is an Indie 2D platformer developed and published by ‘Extremely OK Games’. Its plot is simpler than the ones of the other two games as it consists of much more gameplay (consisting of platforming) than the other games I am discussing: it’s about a girl whose default name is Madeline who wants to climb a mountain called Celeste Mountain.

Madeline has anxiety, and has to learn breathing techniques to prevent panic attacks. I think this is good because breathing techniques are very useful against panic attacks, and the way they are incorporated in the game means the player can practice them alongside Madeline which might encourage them to use breathing techniques in real life in situations where they may be needed. Although the gameplay mechanic of using the breathing technique to progress is shown to not always be successful, I think this is also important because sometime breathing techniques or other coping mechanisms won’t work. For me, for example I have had many times where breathing techniques have helped me get through my panic attacks more easily and many other times when I’ve been far too overwhelmed to focus on them properly and therefore struggle with the panic attack for longer. The way the game makes the player help Madeline through her panic attacks I think also provokes empathy in the player as it really puts them in her shoes.

The player never finds out the cause of Madeline’s mental health conditions, which I also think is a good thing, because most media shows mental health conditions as caused by severe trauma, and that can be the case, as trauma is seen as a common cause for most mental health problems. However depression and/or anxiety can also be caused by other factors, such as stress, lack of sleep, drug or alcohol abuse or a combination of similar factors or by trauma that isn’t as severe as ones shown in media. There is some discussion in mental health communities of how the idea mostly spread by the media that most people with mental health conditions have developed them as a result of severe trauma can be harmful to people whose mental health conditions developed as a result of other factors. This is because it can make people feel that their mental health problems are not as valid or serious as those of people’s that did develop from severe trauma, which is not the case, as all mental health problems are valid and should be treated seriously. Therefore the fact that the cause of Madeline’s mental health problems is not explained makes it more relatable for more people with mental health conditions and also might bring awareness to people who don’t have mental health problems that they can just be a part of life that developed without any severe trauma as the direct cause.

A main part of the plot is a character who I have seen referred to as either Madeline’s subconscious or the physical representation of her mental health conditions, known as ‘A Part of [Madeline]’ in the game and referred to as Badeline by fans and in game extras. I will refer to her as Badeline simply because it is easier. Badeline consistently attempts to prevent Madeline from completing her climb of Mount Celeste, mocking, chasing and fighting her. In Chapter 6 of the game, Madeline after a talk with her friend Theo (who had taught her the breathing technique), confronts Badeline, saying: “you’re everything I need to leave behind”. Badeline gets aggressive and when Madeline tries to use her breathing exercise Badeline stops it from working and Madeline falls down all the way back to the base of the mountain. There she once again meets a recurring character simply known as Granny, who recommends that Madeline talks to Badeline instead of fighting her, saying “figure out why she’s so scared”. When Madeline finds Badeline again she tries to talk to her, and tries to convince her to join forces. Badeline gets angry and they then start to fight. Badeline then says: “Fine. You win. I guess you don’t need me after all. If you want me to go away, I’ll try.” Madeline replies: “that’s not what I want. I need your help now more than ever. Please. Let’s work together… it’s okay to be scared.” They then hug and recombine into a levelled up version of Celeste who finally is able to finish climbing the mountain (or rather fly through it). “Madeline never “defeats” her anxiety and depression. Though you spend the majority of the trek fighting against and trying to escape [Badeline]—or, rather, her self-loathing and low self-esteem—you ultimately crest the mountain by realizing that mental illness isn’t something you can browbeat into submission. Madeline learns that hating her anxiety and depression only exacerbate their effects. By accepting every facet of her personality, and learning to be kinder to herself, Madeline finally climbs Celeste Mountain. “Creating this game and guiding Madeline through her journey made it obvious to me that acceptance was the only way forward,” Thorson wrote me. We all owe ourselves that kind of realization” (Clarke, 2018). I think this message of acceptance is a very important one. People with mental health conditions spend a lot of their time struggling against their conditions and trying to regain control of their life, but accepting their mental health conditions as part of life can actually make it easier to carry on with their life. This is a message that really resonated with me personally as when I was hearing voices as a result of my psychosis I felt like I was constantly fighting against myself to try and move forward. This ending, of Madeline accepting all of herself, subverts expectations and stereotypes, as most people see mental health something to be pushed down, hidden or beaten.

Maddy Thorson (the creator of Celeste) has said that the game is based on their own experiences with mental health as well as those of their team. “Our top priorities were to tell a story that meant something to us and explore these topics from a individual perspective, to draw players into this world with these characters we grew to love,” Thorson said. “Our intention going in wasn’t to represent mental illness in general, or to make a ‘how to deal with depression’ guide, and we didn’t think to consult professionals on the topic” (Grayson, 2018). This makes the representation feel extremely genuine. The game has been praised by many fans and critics for how relatable its mental health representation is. It is incredibly successful for an Indie game and given that the story is entirely about mental health, this implies that mental health representation that feels genuine and relatable is important for a lot of people. Maddy Thorson, when asked “how many copies has Celeste sold to date?” in an interview from 2019, said: “I don't have an exact up-to-date number, but I know we're coming up on a million copies soon. Which is unbelievable to us” (Marks, 2019). Given that the interview is from 2 years ago, the amount of copies sold is likely past one million by now.

The game is a platformer and was designed to be extremely difficult, but also to give hope and encourage the player not to give up, which I think is echoed in the message as Madeline is shown to be brave for accepting herself and her mental health problems, which is essentially the opposite of giving up. The game also has an ‘assist mode’ which includes motivational phrases such as “you can do this” to encourage the player to keep on going and the difficulty of the game can itself also be seen as trying to represent how difficult struggles with mental health can be. I think the game was made for people with mental health conditions in mind as a large part of the target audience as Maddy Thorson said it was therapeutic to make and clearly shares their own, and their team’s experiences with mental health and so is relatable for a lot of people with mental health conditions. In fact almost every review I read on Celeste also included the reviewer sharing their own mental health experiences and how the game resonated with them.

Overall it is probably the most popular of the games I am discussing and I think that is for a good reason. I found it an incredibly striking and genuine story of struggling with mental health with important messages such as ‘don’t give up’ and ‘self-acceptance is important’. These messages are said often and can be patronising but playing the game and experiencing Madeline’s struggle to accept herself and to manage to achieve her goal while struggling with her mental health makes those phrases feel real and possible to achieve.

References:

Marks, T (2019) Celeste Sequel (Probably) Won’t Happen, Developer Says. Available at:

https://www.ign.com/articles/2019/09/07/celeste-developer-doesnt-want-to-make-a-sequel-new-game-in-the-works (accessed at: 24 February 2021)

Clarke, N (2018) My Biggest Revelations of 2018 Came From an Indie Video Game. Available at:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pa5937/my-biggest-revelations-of-2018-came-from-an-indie-video-gameAccessed at: 24 February 2021)

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schism-au-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 2

After the speech, Rose and Pearl managed to seclude themselves into Pink’s Palanquin. Rose shapeshifted back into Pink Diamond and sighed. “I’m scared, Pearl,” Pink said. “I think I made the right decision, but what if I messed up? What if they all want to shatter me now?”

“My Diamond,” Pearl said, while Diamond Saluting Pink. “You did not tell Garnet and I Bismuth’s main goal was to shatter you. If you had, I might’ve advised you differently.”

Pink Diamond let her head fall back and let out a moan of frustration. “I really didn’t mean to tell anyone, it just sort of, slipped out. I mean, I was going to tell you once we had some time to ourselves, but I didn’t want to tell Garnet, and I certainly didn’t want to tell all of the crystal gems! How could I be so stupid!”

“You’re not stupid, my diamond.” Pearl paused. “I’m sure I’ve let far worse things slip over time. They’ll probably just forget anyway, and the ones who won’t probably would’ve thought of it themselves. Please don’t worry yourself, my diamond.”

“How could I not!” Pink exclaimed. She laughed, nervously. “I know I said we should act like we’re in front of Yellow and Blue while I’m in this form, but I really want to be Rose Quartz for just a few more minutes. Can you- treat me like you treat her? I know that’s an odd request but-”

“-I understand,” Pearl interjected. “When we’re out there, together, I feel like we’re close, like I really know you. But when you’re- this, it feels like you are my Diamond and I am your Pearl. It’s like all that doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t want it to end either.”

Pink smiled. “When we first started doing this, it was just a mask to get away from Yellow and Blue. A fun disguise for a day. Now, ‘Pink Diamond’ feels like a mask. This is what I was made to be, and yet- it feels so wrong.”

“Rose, you are fighting for everything you get to be one day,” Pearl said, looking away from Pink. “You, just like every other crystal gem, are fighting for the right to be yourself. And that’s terrifying.”

“You know, Pearl, I think you’re the only gem in the entire universe that doesn’t hate me,” Pink smiled, sadly. “Thank you for being here. For doing this with me.”

“There’s nothing, not on this planet or homeworld or anywhere else that I would rather be doing, and not with any other gem!” Pearl exclaimed. “Before I became a crystal gem, I cared so much about what everyone thought of me and if I was doing things right. Now, getting the freedom to define who I am for myself? Thank you for giving this to me.”

Pink sighed. “We should probably talk business again. We have so much to run and figure out and do.”

Pearl nodding, looking back at Pink. “Yes, my diamond. I think your speech was marvelous. Surely the rest of the crystal gems will agree with you.”

“I wish I could have your confidence,” Pink said. “I still feel like with every move I make, Yellow and Blue get closer to finding me out. Every move I make has so many consequences now. It’s exciting, in a way, but it’s more grim. Anything I do could hurt hundreds- no- thousands of gems.”

“But you could also save just as many!” Pearl exclaimed. “Imagine if we succeed. Imagine this world as a haven for gems without orders, gems free to do as they want. A place where humans and gems can coexist. If you remember everything you’re fighting to protect, the risks become a lot smaller.”

Pink smiled. “Right.” She paused for a moment and looked thoughtful. “Where do you think I should put Bismuth’s bubble?” she asked.

The corners of Pearl’s mouth turned downwards. “Hmm. Somewhere respectful. Not on display yet accessible to anyone who wants to pay their respects. We need to make sure it doesn’t look like we’re trying to make an example of her or erase her memory. Where is she kept right now?”

“I think we left her in the room you, Garnet and I discussed whether to tell the rest of the crystal gems.”

“I think we could leave that door open and keep her there. That room is pretty out of the way, and yet easily accessible if you’re looking for it.”

Pink pursed her lips. “You think? What if someone agrees with her and tries to unbubble her? It wouldn’t even take a large faction, just one rogue gem.”

“What if,” Pearl projected a model of the crystal gem hideout Bismuth was currently bubbled in. “We moved these guards,” she shook two guards who were guarding a different doorway in the same hall, “and put them,” she moved them to the doorway to the room where Bismuth was kept, “here.”

“Oh! Yes, that could work quite well! I’ll ask Cherry if she thinks it’s a good idea.” Pink paused. “When’s my next Pink Diamond obligation?”

“Not for a couple of weeks, my diamond. Why?”

Pink grinned. “We can ask her right now!”

Pearl looked shocked. “My diamond, are you really prepared to shapeshift for so long again? We’ve only taken a short break.”

“It’ll only take a few minutes to ask her!”

“But, my diamond, it’s likely other gems will want to talk to you about other things. You don’t want to have to refuse them, do you?”

Pink sighed. “You’re right, Pearl. Is there anything I can do as Pink Diamond at the moment?”

Pearl scowled. “Yellow and Blue DIamond have taken over many of the day-to-day tasks of running a colony, along with a large percentage of the war effort. You could visit the moon base, or check up on weapons operations. However, I think the best way for the crystal gems to win the war is if Pink Diamond doesn’t do much of anything.”

“Ugh!” Pink exclaimed. “I wish we could ask Garnet. But what could I say ‘oh just curious but what could Pink Diamond theoretically do to help us win the war?’ ‘oh look that’s funny she did exactly what you said would help us the most, would you mind telling us what else would help?’ She’d be onto us in seconds.”

Pearl nodded. “Plus, if she looks too hard into you, she might see you transforming.”

Pink leaned on her hand. “You said I could check out things from the moon base?”

Pearl nodded. “I don’t think Rose will be missed for that long, and it would be a perfectly acceptable thing for Pink Diamond to do.”

Pink nodded. “Let’s go. I want to see how- would that be spying? To see how they all reacted to my speech?”

“My diamond, if you were able to maintain your other form for longer, you’d be out there talking with everyone and learning this first-hand. I’m sure it’ll be okay. You need to make the most of your time.”

Pink nodded. “You’re right. Let’s head to the moon.”

Pearl and Pink headed out of the palanquin and walked to the warp. Pink had asked her Quartzes to stand a bit away from the palanquin so she could sneak in and out, but once she got to where they were stationed, they followed her. As they got to the warp, Pink motioned to them to let her go alone. She stood on the warp and she felt herself being transported to the moon base.

Pink and Pearl stepped off the warp pad into the moon base. Pink scooped Pearl into her arms and leapt to the observation deck. Pink then set Pearl down and knelt in front of the observation deck controller. Pink gently tapped the globe-shaped controller and the room lit up with a projection of the cliff Rose gave her speech on.

“Where should we go from here?” Pink asked.

Pearl pointed down the cliff and to the left. “I think I see some gems discussing over there!”

“Good eye, Pearl!” Pink tapped the globe again, and they were in the midst of crystal gems discussing Rose’s speech.

“I feel bad for Bismuth,” they heard Peridot say. “I understand not wanting to just sit around and wait for this thing to be over. I mean, does she really deserve to be bubbled until the end of the war?”

“Exactly!” Snowflake Obsidian said. “I actually can’t believe Rose is against shattering Pink Diamond. I don’t know how I feel about shattering any homeworld gem that I come across- some of those Rubys are just used by the elites, but shattering a DIamond? That should be something every crystal gem should get behind, ‘specially our leader.”

“Quartzes couldn’t understand,” Aschamalmite said. “Us working gems know that the only way to change the system is to get rid of those in charge. Bismuth was right.”

“If only I could figure out how this ‘Breaking Point’ worked, I could probably recreate it,” Peridot offered.

Pearl noticed Pink starting to fret, so she asked “Shall we go see what those gems down the hill are talking about, my diamond?” She hoped that those gems were thinking more reasonably, which would reassure Pink.

Pink nodded and Pearl tapped the globe. The observation deck shifted over to a clump of gems which included Cherry Quartz, Morganite, Jasper, and Ruby.

“So, I don’t know,” Cherry finished, right as Pink and Pearl arrived.

“Yeah, me neither,” said Morganite. “I mean, Rose gave me everything. Without her, I would’ve been shattered long ago now. But I feel like people are going to discard my opinion just because I would be higher-ranking back on homeworld.”

“But you’re off-color!” Ruby exclaimed, “They’d shatter you!”

Morganite nodded. “True, but I still socialized with the other high-ranking gems before they declared me ‘defective,’ so I might be sympathizing with them more than I should,” she explained.

“I don’t think having too much sympathy is possible!” Jasper exclaimed. “I mean, homeworld’s lack of sympathy or empathy is the very reason so many of us defected! They refuse to understand anything outside of what they think is ‘right.’ I understand where Bismuth was coming from, I understand where Rose is coming from. Is either of them right? Who knows! What I do know is I used to fight for homeworld same as anybody else. I can’t shatter my former self. If Pink Diamond is shattered, I’m not going to cry any tears over it, but I don’t think it’s what we should aim for. If we get there, we get there, but honestly bubbling her seems like the better option. Or just getting her to leave us alone.”

“Hear, hear!” Ruby yelled. “When we win the war, I want it to be because we had compassion! We cared! If we start shattering gems, no one is going to join us anymore. Before I joined, the Crystal Gems poofed two of the other Rubies in my squad. If they had been shattered, I never would’ve joined.”

Cherry nodded. “I’m grateful to Rose for making the decision she did. If I had been in her place, I probably would’ve froze enough for her to shatter me.”

“Plus, homeworld has a lot nastier tech than what they’re using right now,” Morganite said. “They’re trying to not make us look too sympathetic and add gems to our numbers, but if we started shattering gems, I’m sure that would be a lot less of an issue.”

Pink set her hand on the globe, turning the observation deck back into a normal room. She sank to her knees to be around eye level with Pearl. “I don’t know, Pearl. That first set of gems seemed awfully confident. I’m so scared about what will happen.”

“Do you have enough energy to talk to Cherry and Garnet?” Pearl asked. “That might give you some extra clarity.”

Pink nodded. “Let’s head back to the palanquin, then back to the base so we can chat with them and everyone else.” Pink was careful not to exclude anyone.

Pearl nodded, and back to the base they went.

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iwillgetridofyourangerforyou · 4 years ago

Text

Update on my OPM Journey

An introduction to how I ended up here and what I’m looking for:

Season 1:

Like many of us here, I watched the first season of One-Punch Man when it arrived on Netflix around 2016. It was fun. I enjoyed the humor and the characters. Finished the few episodes that were available and went on with my life with the faint but idle hopes of another season. If you were to have asked me about OPM back then I probably would have said something about it being ‘a fun anime’, ‘worth watching’, ‘entertaining/amusing’, without much additional thought. Then, Season two came out. I was almost surprised that a second season actually came out, it had been so long. I wish I could explain to you how and why the second season hit me like it did, (the quality was not as compelling as the first for one) but that’s a story for another time.

Season 2:

I was idly curious how the author would keep the concept of ‘a hero who can defeat any enemy in one punch’ fresh and interesting. Superhero franchises often suffer from the crushing pressure to continue to escalate threats indefinitely to always keep a hero’s journey relatable and interesting. When you’re faced with overpowered superheroes like Superman plots can become ridiculous fairly quickly. What I noticed watching through Season 2 (and then season 1 again and then season 2 again) was clear indications that this tired ‘treat escalation trope’ was not at all what the creators were leaning on. There were really powerful conversations and questions being presented by or through characters. Saitama’s conversation with King is one that stands out to me in particular:

I was floored. And suddenly my level of investment in this content went from 20% “eh, it’s fun, I’ll check for new episodes.” to “holy crap I neeed to figure how what is happening here this is f-ing amazing!”

And so began my ongoing quest to figure out what ONE is trying to teach us through this story.

I started reading the manga.

At first I fell easily into the habits of most half-invested fans, clinging to overused tropes, enticed by fan predictions that feel more like conspiracy theories now, generally ignoring some of the themes and ideas that more observant fans are able to uncover. I’m getting closer but I feel myself getting frustrated, there is more going on here that I’m not seeing. My internal predictions about what will happen in the manga as I read through were getting closer but I keep missing the mark so far on some areas that I felt blindsided.

I need to re-evaluate how I’m looking at this. I need more information.

I started reading the webcomic.

The webcomic really helped clarify some things for me, it was de-convoluted and direct. It was like looking at the bones of the animal. I could see it’s joints, where it bends and where it’s rigid. You really start to get a sense of what this story is built for. The scenes and dialogue are poignant and every frame has a purpose.

Still, this wasn’t good enough for me. My research is not over. I keep mis-attributing things, and missing clues. Through this process I’ve been getting better at uncovering my own biases and learning how to separate them from my interpretation but my biases are a continual stumbling block. For one thing I don’t value all the characters or the lessons they have to teach, I find my lazy brain getting annoyed at some characters and hoping their voice in the story is minimized while hyper-laser focusing on other characters to the point that they become muddled images, grotesque self-projections, or over-complicated distractions. I need to get out of my head a bit, not forgetting my own biases, and I need to start seeing how ONE thinks, who he is as a person, what he values.

I need fresh source material.

So, I watched Mob Psycho 100.

That gave me so much hope and optimism for what ONE has in store for his characters. I’d gotten used to authors who create characters for the purpose of their deaths. Who creates characters who are intended to be ‘terrible, awful, and no good’ to highlight how ‘amazing, sweet, and good’ other characters are. But that’s not what ONE seems to do (imo). It’s not that he doesn’t use characters to contrast other characters, but that’s what it is, a contrast more than a judgement. From my perspective ONE understands the importance of consequence, he values inter-dependency gratitude and accountability.

That said, he shows that a character's actions have consequences. It’s not necessarily moral judgement against a person to say that if they make fraudulent claims they may be found out and shamed, or if they’re standoffish they’ll have trouble building connections, if they use power to manipulate and control people with fear they might lose people (especially if that power is taken away). The use of consequence seems to extend past a person’s choices and include the consequence of a person’s circumstance which may not actually limit a person in a meaningful way, but will impact how they’re able to achieve what they desire. There is a moment when Mob runs for student body president and he’s put a lot of additional work and practice into the speech he’s required to deliver, he stretches himself, but unlike other stories he doesn’t have a ‘surprising under-dog upsetting the establishment’ moment. His natural shyness, low charisma, and the lack of real public speaking experience result in him standing in stunned silence during his entire time slot.

He doesn’t win the vote. Similarly, Mob sets an ambitious goal to come in the top 10 people in a race, but as a consequence of being a naturally small kid who has only just begun actively trying to improve his body, he is unable to accomplish his goal. However, as a direct result of the effort and determination he’s put into his goal he does much better than he’d ever done before.

I had no idea before watching MP100 how much ONE thinks about interdependence and now I have a new perspective on the tension between the hero associations and the heroes, the teams of heroes and their individual strength, how well a team works together or not and why seems to be a very important topic of exploration for ONE. There is a very powerful moment when Mob confronts some esper goons who are looting a store after the destruction of part of a city. When he confronts them he asks “could you guys manufacture this can? Could you actually grow the vegetables in this sandwich?” and concludes that thought with “You should realize that you’re only able to survive thanks to the help of others.”

There is another powerful moment when Mob is being confronted by another bitter and disillusioned esper who tries to get Mob to tap into his negative emotions to increase his power. He tries to get Mob to despair in humanity as he has but Mob is able to turn the tables on the interaction with gratitude. By recognizing how fortunate he is and how many good people are near him he is able to pull himself (with a little help from Dimple and friends) out of despair. It’s a truly heartwarming moment and it leaves you really feeling bad for the antagonist in that situation.

Conclusion for this post, (but not the conclusion of my research):

This is getting a bit long so I’ll conclude. Taking this dive has certainly given me some perspective and I have an overwhelming buffer of new OPM analysis that’s just waiting to be put to paper. I absolutely recognize that MP100 =/= OPM and ONE may indeed be exploring entirely different concepts. I don’t believe, however, that ONE’s values have changed much (although I’m sure they’re in constant development) and I’m grateful for the opportunity to see what he thinks about. I’m grateful for the time and effort he’s put into communicating and sharing his ideas though his comics. I still have a lot of personal biases to identify and overcome, that will be a constant struggle. However, part of the charm of my meta’s is that they do come from my own perspective. This little story is only a hint at some of the fish in the ocean of thoughts I’m swimming through trying desperately not to drown in as I open my big mouth to try to share with you all. (Welcome in, the water’s fine.)

#mp100 #ONE #one punch man #one-punch man #OPM #Mob #Mob psycho 100 #meta #posts to come #research #wow #thanks to fancy ninja who has possibly unwittingly encouraged this #my methods may be different #but my intentions are always to improve #possible spoilers #idk what you guys have and haven't read/watched #go watch mp100 if you haven't already #omfg

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magicalgirlfumiko · 5 years ago

Note

2. An early OC I remember making

I am a loser nerd that has been on the RP scene since 2006 in various means. It really wasn’t until 2009 that I can say that I established a strong world setting and character feel. So I’ll just post two of my main characters from a science fantasy thing I should be writing on as a book but I don’t feel like it:

"We all have to endure crap. No matter the form it takes, no matter what species you may be, hardships come with the territory."

"When it all comes down to it, I'm just a brat who, having spent most of her life doing for others, just wants to live her own life and make her own choices and mistakes. WHO JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN!"

"There are times I feel if I were to vocalize what really went through my head at times people would look at me much differently. With either awe or disgust or a combination of both. Heh."

"The biggest thing I've ever wanted out of life is to become a strong, ever-evolving person who is more than capable of following her curiosity, exploring and meeting head on whatever comes her way. I definitely have the fire inside of me to do so, but until recently...what I realize what I lacked most is a specific focus for all that energy."

GENERAL CHARACTER STATISTICS

Character Name: Skie JungbluthName Meaning: Simply from the English word sky, which was taken from the old Norse word for “cloud.”Alias: NoneGender: FemaleClan: AetherAge: 24B-Day: March 21Zodiac Sign: AriesPlace of Birth: Eternium, Zeledin

Current Residence: The airship, Ethereal (she did not wish to name it that. Skie lost a bet with her boyfriend Mel. It marks the only time she has ever lost one). Skie is almost always on her custom airship which serves as her main home since her 'assignments' take her all over the known world. As a result, most of Skie's work takes place on her ship.

Occupation: Smuggler, Aryeh's mentor. Professional Gambler.

School/Grade: Finished College

Family: Joshua Jungbluth (Father), Lassilsa Jungbluth (Mother), Bill Jungbluth (Brother)

Gemstone: Diamond

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Height: 167.64 cm

Hair: She has brown hair. Her curls help to soften her square face shape, while the long side-swept bangs bring the focus to those piercing yellow eyes. Skie keeps her hair shoulder length or just a little below. Before she became a smuggler, she often wore her hair long and flowing just like her mother but has shortened it to be look less like a kid in her mind's eye.

Eyes: Yellow and catlike. The reason for this is because of her usage of arcane magic. Unlike Rane, who used external energy from others, Skie is attempting the same kind of mysteries but at the cost to her own body.

Distinguishing Marks: None

General Appearance: Skie’s eyes are usually sharp, alert and often almond shaped. She typically flushes when she feels excited. When Skie hears good news, red color will flood her face. Angry: You can always tell when she is truly angry because she will turn quite red. She also flushes when she is embarrassed or when she over exerts herself such as when exercising. She is handsome and she knows it. Skie is powerfully built but still has a womanly body.

General Clothing: Skie likes to dress classy but comfortably. Her normal wears are a white button shirt, a brown waist length jacket, black slacks, and sometimes a tie. In colder weather, she wears her father’s old brown leather trench coat which is held shut by short leather tabs.

Strengths: Skie is very adept with Aether magic. This is the power from WITHIN. It is based upon the soul, the powers that are deep within the essence of who you are. The lesser known of the styles, Aether powers are often channeled through emotions and desires.

As a swordsman, Skie's abilities are lackluster; however, those around her have noted that her fighting style, however unrefined, is heavy hitting and vicious. As it turns out, Skie's style and progress mirror that of her father.

Weaknesses: The weakness of her magical style is that it comes completely from her own body, so if she is injured or drugged or unconscious, those powers can be interrupted. It is also based upon strong desires, so her emotions must be in tune with what she wants. One of the fundamental issues with her is that she literally has a well of power inside herself. She has to constantly use magic to prevent too much from building up inside her at once.

Skie is prone to have headaches, particularly migraines, and depression because of these powers.

More: Weight: 51 kg, Breast: 81 cm, Waist: 53 cm, Hips: 84 cm

MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS

Allies: Mel and Aryeh. Skie is a good friend, she always looks out for her friends with caring and generosity and will protect them should the need arise and encourage them with her natural optimism.

Enemies: Medus and the Yellow Brother's are her main rivals, but Rane is the bigger danger.

Current Goal/Purpose: She is sent out to find Medus by her brother. He has promised her a lot of money to do so.

Aspirations: She wants to succeed where others have failed. Skie wants to explore the world, change it to fit her whims and do her best at life.

Hobbies: Skie likes activities that involve mobility and less concentration like war games, fast sports, motor racing, gambling, and vibrant music. However, she also likes to grill and come up with meals.

Likes: Action, Coming in first, Challenges, Championing Causes, and Spontaneity

Dislikes: Waiting Around, Admitting Failure, No opposition, Tyranny, other people’s advice

Talents: She’s skilled at games of chance. Skie is also skilled with fixing up and redesigning airships.

Inabilities: Selfish and quick-tempered, Impulsive and impatient, Foolhardy and daredevil, if confronted, Skie can turn to be quite childish; she will fight back with her aggressive nature.

Fears: Feeling that her identity is threatened. Self-preservation is a primal instinct and goal for her.

General Personality: Skie loves to explore new ground. She reminds her friends that every moment is new and that life is about experimentation and discovery. It is through experiences that we develop and mature. We are here to advance our soul growth. We are not here to find a static, comfortable situation. We are here to go for the gold and to answer the call of our soul. We are engaged in an on-going process to release our resistance and to transmute all forms of fear into courage and compassion.

Skie is a courageous leader with a genuine concern for those she commands. Being a responsible lady, it is rare that she will use her subordinates to obtain her own objectives as a leader, but occasionally it does happen. She does not make a very good follower because she is too "taking charge".

Skie may be unwilling to obey or submit to directions for which she can see no reason, or with which she disagrees. She is much concerned with self, both positively and negatively - self-reliant but also self centered (sometimes) and concerned with her own personal advancement and physical satisfaction. Her immense energy makes her aggressive and restless, argumentative occasionally, headstrong, quick tempered, easily offended and capable of holding grudges if she feels affronted.

Skie is intellectual and objective, but can be in rare situations bigoted and extremist in politics. She is a champion of lost causes and last-ditch resistance.

Inner Personality: Skie is quick-witted but sometimes foolhardy and over-optimistic, lacking thoroughness and the ability to evaluate difficulties regarding the undertakings into which she often rushes impulsively. The great need of Skie is to exercise an iron self-control, to discipline the qualities and tendencies of her character to the advantage, not the detriment, of the society in which she moves.

Fondest Memory: Winning all the money out of the casinos that are present in Eternium.

Biggest Regret: None so far, she has lived a pretty good life so far and rarely decides to focus on the past.

Secret: She also loves the color pink.

SPECIALTY CHARACTERISTICS

Special Items: The Ivory Cross that Skie wears. It is the symbol used on Chenoan flags. This is used to show her support of the Chenoan cause against Rane.

Magic: Aether Lightning, Skie’s only usable combat spell as an arcane magus. Raw Aether magic arcs from her hands as lightning allowing limited ranged combat capabilities.

HISTORIC BACKGROUND

General History: Skie's upbringing was fairly typical for an upper middle class family in post-war Zeledin. After the Zeledin War, her father stayed out of the limelight. While Joshua was one of the founders of the Category following Rane's disappearance, he never sought a lot of personal wealth. He believed that it was better for his children to grow up modestly. When she was younger, it never crossed her mind that she’s the daughter of Joshua Jungbluth. Most of her childhood she moved around a lot since Lassilsa didn’t want to stay in the former capital of her queen. Skie and her brother didn’t get along even from this early age.

Lassilsa was her main teacher, since Joshua himself never mastered any magical abilities. Like her father, Skie’s genes were “overspecialized” with a connection to Aether. Thus, with her magical prowess in aether magic allowed her to attend the Eternium Military Academy. At age 22, she graduated with Study in Arcane magic. It was attending the school that she became close friends with Mel Rogero. They have been dating ever since.

Shortly after her graduation, Skie enlisted into the Category's AeroCorps, in Zeldin's capital city of Eternium. She wished to distance herself from the legacy of her father while enlisted, so she was made a junior officer on the CAC Drake. It was an unremarkable time for her on the airship. Her time in the military was very short. She was kicked out for being too hot headed.

At age 24, Skie left the AeroCorps and enlisted herself to be an aging bounty hunter. He gave her a new task; being a pilot and mentor figure. Her new role was to train Ary Fairwater in Arcane studies, which puzzled her. She dislikes being a teacher and doesn’t want a teen getting in her way. To this day she continues to indirectly train Ary. Though, it seems that it is Mel that does a lot of the mentoring.

Skie was recently hired by her brother to force Medus Tenpenny into the Category's Elite Unit. In response, Mel Rogero was hired to be her bodyguard by Lassie. Skie is more than aware that The Category might have plans to make Medus their trump card when they finally intervene on the war between Chenoa and Rane's forces.

Why not? One's gotta feel confident in a uniform."

"Because Skie is amazing. She has been putting in so much hard work and it payed off big time. It doesn't matter if she's not considered a "real" magus by Category standards. She is amazing as her own kinda woman."

"Once, I had a fortune told to me and usually I never take them into thought...This one I did. It said,"Greet your friends with open arms and happiness will come to you." I seriously sat there, frozen while reading it. I took it as, I should stop being so distant and accept my friends...Bring them back into my life, even if I'm not with them. I hope I can though."

"Don't you hate when you really want to say something,but don't know what?"

GENERAL CHARACTER STATISTICS

Character Name: Mel RogeroName Meaning: Mel is a pet name of Maethelwine, which means “Meeting Friend.”Alias: NoneGender: Male

Age: 25B-Day: 2/26Zodiac Sign: PiscesPlace of Birth:ChenoaCurrent Residence: Skie’s AirshipOccupation: Skie’s Body Guard. Seat of Water, Unit ZeroSchool/Grade: Finished High SchoolFamily: MJ Rogero (Sister). Other relatives not mentioned.Gemstone: Moonstone

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Height: 180 cm (5’11”)

Hair: Mel wears his black hair (almost violet) really long, which is considered the sign of an unmarried warrior in the Moon Clan. It is kept braided by white wraps.

Eyes: Blue

Distinguishing Marks: He wears one beaded earring in his left ear.

General Appearance: Mel is a gentlemen and not sloppy in his overall appearance.

General Clothing: Mel loves the color black and wears a military inspired tunic and trousers. When not in combat, he wears a purple cape to add to the ensemble, the sign of his family. This has more to do with tradition than anything else. Since Mel is the only male son in his family, it suggests that he’ll inherit the title of his father someday. It also keeps him warm in the colder regions of Mirabella.

Strengths: Some think of him as weak because, like water, he takes the path of least resistance. But by flowing on, resisting nothing, Mel overcomes all and his freedom from self (his greatest secret strength) provides him with limitless access to imagination (his second greatest secret strength). His emotions are known to guide his heart and his mind. Mel possesses a great trait that allows him to come in contact with a variety of emotions and not pass judgment on an individual.

Weaknesses: Mel does not have many combatant spells, since he put most of his focus on using overclock and natural smarts. Mel is also very meek, while this could also be considered a merit; Mel cannot take the life of an enemy, for he is a very religious follower of the Moon Goddess.

MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS

Allies: The Category

Enemies: None.

Current Goal/Purpose: Mel is Skie’s bodyguard and boyfriend. He is a man who enjoys helping and serving others. Mel is very observant and examines each person and situation closely. He is a dreamer, which allows him to relate intimately to Skie. Mel gives to her, a certain peace and security. He always tries to avoid all possible arguments with her.

According to Ivy Veyado, Mel makes Skie more docile and convenient. He shields her against her enemies and is able to pacify her fears and give her the emotional security she needs. Mel often possesses the fiery command and gentle nature which makes a perfect blend to keep her satisfied and affectionate.

Aspirations: To help everyone he meets to the best of his ability.

Hobbies: Mel finds infinite pleasure in the simple things, like the smile of a stranger, the touch of a child, or the tweet of a bird as it feathers its nest. Mel likes telling stories, painting, cooking, watching good cinema, and collects clothes from foreign nations.

Likes: Solitude to dream in, mystery in all its guises, anything discarded to stay discarded, the ridiculous, likes to get 'lost'

Dislikes: The obvious, being criticized, feeling all at sea about something, know-it-alls, and pedantry.

Talents: Healing magics, cooking, making tea, etc.

Inabilities: Escapist and idealistic, secretive and vague. Can sometimes be bossed around by Skie.

Fears: Upheavals are abhorrent to Mel, and stay with him for days but, it is not always understood, that he absorbs all kinds of atmospheres like a sponge and, just as the power of the sea takes time to settle after a storm, so Mel needs to be allowed time and space alone, to recover his inner calm.

General Personality: Mel possesses a gentle, patient, malleable nature. He has many generous qualities and is friendly, He is good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around him, and responds with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering he encounters. Mel is deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because his easygoing, affectionate, submissive nature offers no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters.

He accepts the people around him and the circumstances in which he finds himself rather than trying to adapt them. Mel patiently waits for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. He is more readily concerned with the problems of Skie than with his own.

His nature tends to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. He sometimes exists emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually. Mel longs to be recognized as greatly creative. Any rebellion he makes against convention is personal; however, as he often times does not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.

Inner Personality: Mel has an intuitive and psychic ability more than any other character in the series. He trusts his gut feelings and if he does not, he quickly learns to because he realizes that his hunches are usually correct.

Mel’s downfall is his sensitivity and his inability to reject another person. He does not like rejection and se tries to treat others the way they want to be treated so he will rarely say no to a person for fear of hurting their feelings.

He will help another person with their problems and like to do so because making others feel good in turn makes him feel good.

His inner conflict is extremes of temperament and conflicting emotions. He wants to learn to use his powers and his imagination in a positive, productive way.

Fondest Memory: He has many. But in reality, his fondest memories always involve spending time with Skie and making sure that she is always smiling.

Biggest Regret: He has a tendency to act like a “savior” and these are a number of times in which he was not able to help everyone that he deems needed his help.

Secret: Mel loves Skie with all his heart and secretly wishes to marry her someday. She is one of the few people who have faith in his dreams. His qualities create an excitement within her and she respects Mel whole-heartedly. To him, Skie has enough fire to spark his desires and lead him to great accomplishments, and give him the faith he needs to stand for dreams and wishes. She has always fiercely defends him in the past against those who judge him inaccurately due to his dreamy nature. She brings excitement and vigor to his life and teaches him to be a bit more practical.

SPECIALTY CHARACTERISTICS

Special Items: The Purple cloak that he is often seen wearing. It is a sign that he is from a long family of knights that work for the crown family of Chenoa. While this is more of a honorary role in the present, he is still proud of his background.

Weapons: A blade for back-up. Mel is a technical pacifist; meaning he is willing to beat people up as much as he wants. He may even get a few fatalities through. However, once it comes down to a choice between killing and not an opponent, Mel will not kill. He uses his sword in non-lethal ways to defeat his foes and to defend Skie.

Whip of the Rip Tide: A whip forged from the strongest batch of ather ever found thus far, it is a Class A weapon that is capable of causing major flooding and water spouts. It is a highly dangerous weapon that only Mel can wield with proper effect. It can also be used as a normal whip or lasso.

Magic: Mel’s magic is focused on using Overclock as his main area of study. In this case, he can separate the processes of his brain and excels at multitasking on things like paperwork and cooking. This is how he is able to use his sword effectively.

Mel does have access to using the powers of Dark Flames, which are a purple flames that extend from his palms and quickly engulfs foes in a cold binding chain. Mel’s other magic includes portal openings and displacements of weapons.

The common belief is that no one can best Mel in non-lethal combat.

HISTORIC BACKGROUND

General History: Mel is the youngest child in his family. His mother went out of her way to spoil him and make sure he excelled at something other than the normal soldiery activities of the Rogero family. Though, in the end he still chose the mantle of being a knight.

Being a member of Chenoa’s court, he had access to many of the best schools in the nation. There Mel learned all the trades to be a Knight in the royal court. However, he soon decided that he’d be better off working within the Category, since Chenoa didn’t have all the fun of the modern world like Zeldin did.

After finishing up his basic schooling, he went on to the Military Academy. During his time off, Mel would wander around the city day dreaming. It was on one of these walks that he first met Skie following one of her storming off from her barracks. She was a very different girl from the ones in Chenoa. One could almost say that she was exotic to him. .

Mel would then become an acquaintance of Lassi, Skie’s mother. Lassi’s goal was to attempt to get them to become a couple. Her greatest fear is that Skie will die a soldier. When Skie left the military, Lassi requested that her daughter be barred from Unit Zero. Skie was then recommended to become a mentor, a job not suited for her fiery spirit. Knowing that her daughter might try to run off and doing something foolish, Lassi has hired Mel to be her bodyguard. Mel was more than happy to take the assignment. While still very shy to Skie, they have known each other for a long enough time that he feels that he can get closer to her this way.

#meme #ooc #thx-memorabilia

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years ago

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WHY I'M SMARTER THAN FOUNDERS

If you ever got me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do: look at what happens to those who win lotteries or inherit money. Isn't the pointy-haired bosses. In OO languages, you can, even if you forget the experience or what you read, its effect on your model of the world. There is a very sharp dropoff in performance among VC firms, because in many cases the language layer won't have to change at all. Then I'm worried. VC firm will not screw you too outrageously, because other founders would avoid them if word got out. Large-scale investors tend to put startups in three categories: successes, failures, and the distinction between the spikes and the average becomes sharper, like a digital image rendered with more pixels. And the big hits often look risky at first. The problem is, for the company to have a low valuation. In fact, if you have a browser on your cell phone? N elements.

But as well as Lisp, so they get the pick of all the parts, as ITA presumably does, you can make the search results useless, because the first results could be dominated by lame sites that had bid the most. If you want to work on what you like, and let people design whatever object systems they want as libraries. Will there be a phone in your palm pilot?1 So the total number of new shares to the angel; if there were 1000 shares before the deal, the capitalization table looks like this: shareholder shares percent—VCs 650 33.2 My guess is that the concepts we use in everyday life that you don't have time for your ideas to evolve, and b you're often forced to take deals you don't like it. I suppose I should learn Lisp, but it is a byword for impossibility.3 Though the first philosophers in the western tradition lived about 2500 years ago, and even have bad service, and people will keep coming. 5 are now widespread. That idea is not exactly novel. If VCs got de facto control of the company 2/4 2. You can start by writing things that are useful but very specific, and then think about how to make money, but what you'd like to be able to avoid the usual chicken and egg problem new protocols face, because some of the most important things you can understand about startups.

The difference between then and now is that now I understand why Berkeley is probably not worth trying to understand.4 Neither Bill Gates nor Mark Zuckerberg knew at first how big their companies were going to spend the weekend at a friend's house for dinner. VCs also insist that prior to the deal the option pool is down to 13. We were compelled by circumstances to grow slowly, and in particular, Internet startups are still only a fraction of what the finished product will do, but that dramatic peaks can only be achieved by people with certain rare, innate qualities; nearly anyone can learn to be a complete picture. Could you describe the person as an animal? That scenario may seem unlikely now, but Fortran I didn't have them.5 The goal is the same as intelligence.6 All they need is a language that actually seems better than others that are available, there will be no more great new stuff beyond whatever's currently in the pipeline for several years after, and finally issued in 2003.7 Don't hire people to fill the gaps in some a priori org chart. That's what happened with domestic servants. Partly the reason deals seem to fall through so often is that you get less dilution.8

So someone investigated, and sure enough, that patent application had continued in the pipeline for several years after, and finally issued in 2003. And yet this guy will be almost entirely overlooked by the press. These heaps o' boilerplate are a problem for small startups, because it's always the oldest it's ever been.9 If you work hard at being a bond trader for ten years, thinking that you'll quit and write novels when you have enough money to pay a little more equity, but being slightly underfunded teaches them an important lesson. This is understandable with angels; they invest on a smaller scale and don't like to get across about startups, that's it. So when I ran into the Yahoo exec I knew from working there in the late 1950s. I know a lot of people wish that hacking was mathematics, or at least to know what they want from me. Probably because the product was a dog, or never seemed likely to be smarter. Barely usable, I admit, this is true.

We might have to give definite if implicit advice will keep us from straying beyond the resolution of the words we're using.10 Maybe mostly in one hub, and it seems to consume all your attention. But I have a hunch that the main branches of the evolutionary tree pass through the languages that have the right kind of place for developing software. They're not pretending; they want to believe you're a hot prospect, because it is the cool, new programming language. And this tradition had so long to develop that nontechnical people like managers and venture capitalists also learned it. Some languages are better than either of them?11 At the very least, you're supposed to be working on their company, not worrying about investors. They'd rather lose the deal than establish a precedent of VCs competitively bidding against one another. Wall Street's language. Since people interested in designing programming languages, a lot of good publicity for the VCs.

Notes

Kant.

Even the cheap kinds of startups will generally raise large amounts of money from it.

There's a good plan in which internal limits are expressed.

And the reason the US. Bankers continued to dress in jeans and t-shirt, they're probably a real partner. Record labels, for many Americans the decisive change in how Stripe felt. You have to do business with any firm employing anyone who had died decades ago.

I find hardest to get going, e. Economic inequality has been decreasing globally. Microsoft, incidentally, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been Boylston Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard Business School at the end of World War II had become so common that their system can't be buying users; that's the situation you find known boring ideas intolerable. This has, like arithmetic drills, instead of crawling back repentant at the network level, because the illiquidity of progress puts them at the lack of movement between companies combined with self-imposed.

The wave of hostile takeovers in the country. This seems unlikely at the end of economic inequality is not to pay employees this way, they'd be called acting Japanese. This sentence originally read GMail is painfully slow. Geshke and Warnock only founded Adobe because Xerox ignored them.

That's the difference between being judged as a type of product for it.

If you actually started acting like adults.

The existence of people. Why go to college, you'll be well on your own mind. All languages are equally powerful in the sort of wealth—that startups usually lose money at all.

This includes mere conventions, like the intrusive ads popular on Delicious, but trained on corpora of stupid and non-broken form, that it killed the best in the sense that if the present, and FreeBSD 1.

And while they may try allowing up to the principles they discovered. Xxvii. Wisdom is useful in solving problems too, but art is a big change in the cover story of creation in the US News list?

Thanks to Chad Fowler, Patrick Collison, Dan Giffin, Geoff Ralston, Trevor Blackwell, and Stan Reiss for the lulz.

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clarion-call-of-football · 6 years ago

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15 Tips For Football Coaches To Fix Their Teams

Winning soccer is all about implementation, not tricking another group. You wish to confuse your competition, not your team. At times, I see that a"flavor of the week" crime, where coaches attempt to spend the best plays that they found in pro or college football during the previous week. I recall coaching against a single group that had almost 30 configurations and conducted two plays out of each. They complained to the athletic director we were calling their plays out until they conducted them.

Settle on a couple of plays and find out the alterations so it is possible to implement them in almost any circumstance. Every trainer has dropped to a team whose crime fits on a note card. You just need one well-executed play if opponents can not stop it. Playing a lot of defenses. It is wonderful how many clubs utilize a multiple-front defense. Now, players need to make sure that they line up properly and fret about their shifting keys and assignments. Even professional teams operate a three- or four-man front.

Opt for a defense that fulfills your team's design and grasp it. It's possible to add blitzes and stunts once everybody has learned their missions and techniques.

Players missing clinics. Every ineffective app I worked with experienced players that did not appear for training. This demonstrates the other matters are more important to them. I hear coaches say,"Well, he is my very best player, and when he does not play we don't have any opportunity to win." If that is his degree of devotion, you don't have any opportunity to win anyhow.

This is what some trainers have done:

Should you miss exercise, you do not play this week. Each evening of exercise missed equals per quarter on the seat. Missing clinic means not beginning, and when your copy is doing a fantastic job, you remain on the seat. I have seen coaches enable one miss for each 10 summer workouts . Some schedule a day or early-morning clinic one day each week to permit parents to look after things such as doctor appointments.

I recommend that training staffs make clear what represents excused and unexcused absence if you're likely to distinguish between them. The difficulty I encountered was that a lot of parents were creating explanations or lying to get their kid, so that I stopped differentiating between them.

Head coaches can opt to provide your position coaches ability to excuse licensed absences, or you could authorize all pre-excused absences yourself.

Insufficient practice business. Losing apps frequently don't have a clinic program or don't follow it. Coaches do not understand how long they must practice particular drills, players rate themselves and do not work hard, and parents do not understand when to pick up their kid.

Take a comprehensive practice program and follow along. With mobile phones and timers, it's simple to place the entire exercise plan in your mobile and possess a buzzer noise when every interval is up. Coaches know how long they have for every drill, and if you post the exercise program, players understand just how long they have and provide more attempt to secure more reps. I suggest posting the clinic plan online so every position coach may add detail for their specific position. If you do not have sufficient time to achieve your purposes, you may have to reevaluate your defense or offense.

I visit groups beat themselves by jumping offsides, prohibited processes, delays of sport along with other penalties. A single late-hit punishment could be excused as an crash, but repeat infractions reveals a deficiency of self-control.

Instantly get your plays into the crime, and telephone penalties in training so that your players know about the results.

Each time these players confront contest, they create a justification, whine or produce an accident popularly called the"loser's limp."

Grow an aggressive environment in clinics. Give the winner a reward, along with the winners a punishment. They know that what is a contest and they should find out to compete, win and lose -- each of three together with course.

If the coaches are not there, you can not expect the players to be there. Training isn't about talking a fantastic game on Fridays; it is about correctly instructing players Monday through Thursday.

I would rather have one great assistant who is present constantly than five poor ones that are part-time. I know a family crisis, but there is a work-life equilibrium.

Trainers not at the faculty. I understand this is quite determined by where you reside, and there are lots of fantastic coaches that are not instructors. But in my own experience, if the trainer and nearly all of his assistants aren't at the construction, it is a challenge knowing the association between the faculty and the app.

Do not have a head coaching position in case you are in the construction, unless government assures you they will hire assistants that are teachers.

Nobody should sit five hours viewing a trainer enter information on a computer. Along with the defensive and offensive coaches do not have to see every additional layout their game programs.

Be organized. As a head coach, you probably hired capable coaches you hope. Give every mentor duties and hold them liable, as you maintain your players liable for their duties. As soon as they are finished, make them go home.

Failing to spot the best players. Every trainer has had the participant that resembles Tarzan and performs like Jane. If a participant is getting his ass kicked all week at training, he will not somehow begin playing nicely on Friday.

Play outcomes, not possible. In the event the 160-pound weakling is playing in a higher level than your 220-pound stud, then perform with him.

Unorganized particular teams. Poor performing teams do not possess a set strategy and frequently only practice particular teams on Thursday. The gamers do not wish to be on special teams, plus they do not know why those teams are essential to winning.

Set aside clinic time for particular teams exactly like every other portion of the game. Educate the players why they are significant. Place your best players . Attempt to win matches with particular teams, rather than treat them as an afterthought.

No parent service. Losing apps have a tendency to lack parent participation, and also the parents aren't supportive of their soccer program.

Find ways for your visitors to get involved -- group foods, mothers and mothers wearing jerseys. Provide a course for parents to educate them soccer. Show them how to be reassuring. Lots of parents wish to be supportive, but they might not understand how to help. Tell them your wants.

Deficiency of psychological control. We occasionally see players react to some taunt or push by throwing a punch. Or they allow competitions take them from the match with taunts. Some trainers attempt to"stick it" to other groups by conducting the scoreboard, or else they lose their cool with referees.

Utilize a diversion drill to instruct your players to concentrate. Teach them the appropriate way to react if another team does something dumb. Show them the outcome of what happens with lousy decisions, and instruct them that their targets and the group goals are more significant. Then, model and practice yourself as a trainer.

Losing teams game program to another group's weakness rather than their particular strengths. They fret about what another team will do rather than about their own group's execution. They frequently add a new crime or defense that week because they think it is the key to winning.

I am OK with a little tweak, but I've never seen anything longer than modest adjustments win a match.

There are a lot of reasons for this: badly drawn scout cards, absence of a script that is practice, playing with the players on the scout team.

Place players on the scout team that will give a fantastic appearance. Reward scout team players so that they feel appreciated and know how they help the team win. Have transparent scout cards, and have the players view movie. Possessing a script so that you know what is coming when you are practicing plays. Concentrate on quitting their best three to four runs and moves. If they could conquer you left handed, then they're likely going to conquer you anyways.

I have always found that tutors will need to quit beating themselves until they may be successful against a different group. I am not promising you will win each match with these hints, but it is my expectation you will observe these issues all encounter common places: being coordinated, with time effectively and being disciplined in all stages of training. The biggest obstacle to implementing those modifications is taking the opportunity to take action.

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carmineclock · 6 years ago

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Dead Man Blues

Doc Scratch 4:28 PM

Its been an hour or so since your big meeting with the others, hopefully things have cooled down somewhat since then. You'd like to think you kept it quite calm and tasteful, despite your overall annoyance. Most of this time you spent updating your journal. You really have to do something about all these journals, its not safe to keep so many. And yet... With a sigh you set your pen aside. Time to do yet more damage control. You still think theres a chance you can get through to Trace, though perhaps you might be as bad as Clover in taht regard. Hoping is one thing, some men just dont change. Still, you make your way down to the holding cells. Perhaps your chat with Trace just needed a more dire backdrop. A broken arm and a cold concrete room with metal bars could be just what the Doctor ordered. Hoo hoo.

Trace 9:01 PM

Dire backdrop is an understatement. Your arm is long swollen, wrapped carefully in your shirt to give it some stability. You know a bit of first aid, but that is surprisingly difficult when it's your own arm and the only means you got available are what you have on your person. The new wound on your chest is just as aching, red and bloody with a hint of gold. You may have managed to pass out for a few hours, but you could hardly call that sleep, especially with that nightmare. Her body, stabbed and strung up - not Aradia's, but Nepeta's. A message to the one closest to her - Fin, angryy setting fire to your very self. The images linger, even long after you finally come to. And then the nightmare after you wake up - Snowman and how she dragged Fin in for your mutual punishment. How she used your wedding rings to violently erase the tattoo on your chest marking your love and relationships. When Scratch enters, you're wide awake, as much as you loathe it. Your mind still feels foggy and worlds away, definitely not prepared for a talk with him.

Doc Scratch 2:28 AM

You study him as you walk in, taking note of the remnants of Snowmans lesson. As graceful as she is deadly, as always. The gold makes a nice addition in your opinion. You take a chair from the nearby table and move it to in front of the bars in silence. After you moment you sit backwards with your arms resting over the back of the chair sit down normally, like a gentleman. This isnt an interrogation, or a call for confession, its just a conversation. "So, lets have it out, Trace. Whats this Droog business really all about. Dont you realize what youve cost yourself?"

Trace 9:51 AM

It never not feels like an interrogation with Scratch. You look up and watch him as he gets comfortable, then stare off to the side when he speaks. The muscles in your jaw tense, and when you reply, your hoarse and cracking voice clearly shows your exhaustion and pain. "Sir.. Do we really need to do this now? I'm not exactly the best for a talk right now and I'm really not too keen on netting me another scar for mouthing off..." Of course, you're aware he wouldn't have it any other time then when you're broken and at your wit's end.

Doc Scratch 11:27 AM

"If you're worried about your mouth, then I suggest you keep a civil tongue. I'm not concerned, though. Theres a kind of freeing honesty that cement walls and metal bars bring that can be found nowhere else. At this point, I would rather you speak freely, its just us now." Just the two of you. Man to man, or whatever Trace can be considered. Its an interesting thought, his classification may change as his DNA did. You'll have to look into that later. For now, your eyes are solely on him. His broken body, his pain. "Tell me true, Trace. I want to hear it. All of it. I wont punish you for speaking truthfully when asked. Its lies I hate the most."

Trace 3:03 PM

You give him a sour smile. You'll believe it when you see it. "What this is about, you really gotta ask?" Feels like you already talked plenty enough about this, and you doubt you got anything else to say that could placate him. Only plenty of frustration that has built up over everything, and you're way too tired to filter your words. Lets see who of the two of you is going to regret that more. "I.. am sorry that any of this ever reflected back on you, Nepeta or any of the Felt. It should never have been anything but personal. Which, I realize... there's not really a personal in this outfit, is there?" you begin, actually honestly. "This... it was nothing more than a brawl between two guys heated up on a little too much emotion. But then this bastard.. abducted Nepeta, tortured and abused her, and then me. Cause he was pissed he got decked in the face. And he kept going, provoking us again and again, paralyzing her, seducing another, hurting us, as a whole, again and again. How could you expect me to do just nothing? You've been sending a signal, to them and to us, that they can just pick members of this very house off the street and do with us what they want." You try to sit up properly to face him better, wincing from the pain shooting through your arm again. "How has this not been a war yet for fuck's sake? How come Snowman can take the god damn white queen hostage, but we sit idle when the Crew come to pick us apart bit by bit? How come Snowman can take the god damn white queen hostage, but we sit idle when the Crew come to pick us apart, bit by bit?"

Doc Scratch 6:17 PM

You sit in silence, letting him say what hes going to say. You dont blame him for his views, and if anything, this lashing out may prove beneficial to you. No matter what happens from now on, Droog will have the reminder in the back of his mind. Certainly he wont forget it. Idly, you pull at the edge of your gloves, nodding every so often through his heated speech. Well, hes partially right on certain fronts. It really should have been war by now, whether you wanted it to be or not. The crew have gotten bolder and bolder, could it be your fault? Through inaction, have you allowed the crew more purchase on this slippery slope than you'd intended? "To start off, I'll answer your question. The reason it has not been war yet is because we did not have the numbers to win a war." You let out a silent sigh. "In truth, I'd hoped to collect our full set before provoking the Crew into an all out battle. I dont know how many wars you've seen, Trace, but I've seen enough to know that as much as you and all the others may want to go to war, young men that you are, we are not in a favored position for it. The Crew will always have the love of the common people, they built this city, and those that reside here are their kin. They have the better defenses, and most importantly, they have magic. True magic, the likes of which I cant begin to match." You pause to stand, arms folded behind your back as you pace, speaking more to the open air than to Trace now.

"Snowman is an army in her own right, its folly to compare anything or anyone to her. This little brawl you've had with Diamonds, its beyond reason and a waste of resources besides. If you were provoked into action, then you're a fool, because thats what Diamonds wanted from you. But more than that, you've allowed him to take the higher ground. The city is going to bleed now, I'll see to that, but you've allowed Diamonds to make it personal. And a man on a revenge mission doesnt care for the ruin he causes. I did not take what I've taken of this city for the last fourty years just to see it burned by some self righteous bastard in an Armani tuxedo." Another sigh, louder this time. You rub your temple, pausing in your pacing to look back at him. "Provoking. Abusing. Hurting us. All of us. You're right on that front. What one of us suffers, we all suffer. It was my mistake. I took this for play, the usual violence between men at odds, petty revenge for the sake of sleeping better." “But no, this has gotten well and truly out of hand. And its too late to go back. You’ve signed us up for a a war we were not prepared for, against an enemy whose eyes you’ve spit in, and now you say it should have been sooner. Hmph. Maybe you’re right. I dont hear the heckling of those underneath me, but it would only make sense that you do. So, then, its to be war. Do you have any plans for this war you’ve longed for, Trace? Any soldiers for the army? Connections to supplies and trades? Or did you expect that all you had to do was start it, and that I would finish it?”

Trace 8:05 PM

Well, obviously, you don't have any of these. You didn't plan for a war, let alone prepare for it. This was a selfish and careless act of revenge and he knows that. You're slowly starting to realize that you feel more bewildered about Nepeta's reaction than the prospect of war. This life has already been hell and you're tired of playing along. How little you care about Scratch's achievements and goals. Still, that is not an answer to give your boss and, unfortunately, owner. You close your eyes and think. The least you owe the others is to try And if you've doomed all of you to die and burn, maybe you can at least rip a big hole into the crew. "..How much longer is he gonna have the favor of the common people if he's burning them? If he lashes out without remose and care, use it against them. With fires burning purple, it's not hard to besmirch their name. You have sucked the people dry under threat of violence and torture if they don't pay up. If you lack manpower, offer then alternatives. The crew is torching Felt warehouses. If it's supplies we lack, take theirs. We may be lacking time to prepare, but so do they. It's not too late to gain the upper hand."

Doc Scratch 1:40 PM

You stand and listen as he rattles off his ideas. Theyre not all without merit, but theyre naive, blunt, though its something you've come to expect. How could he possibly have known what he was getting himself, and the rest of the Felt, into. "Hes not burning them, he's burning us. True, it was careless, but Droog wont stay careless. Hes distraught over his daughters death, but he wont stay that way forever. He has as at least as much of a tactical mind as I do, he was built for war." You run a hand over your head, eyes closed in thought, trying not to imagine plumes of purple smoke eating their way through the Felt manor. Purple and green clash too much, it would be hideous. "I have ways of retaking the people, though its not the dregs of society that I'm worried about. All I need is a shiny coin and a loaf of bread to win their loyalty back. We need to spread out. We need bases of operation throughout the city, safe places that arent glaring green mansions on a hilltop. If the Crew want war, we have to play their game." Yes, this is sounding more like a plan every passing second. You almost get carried away, before remembering where you are. This is no time to get caught up in nostalgia. "You know, it would be much easier planning if we had our trackers back. You and Fin have skills that will be of paramount importance coming very soon. Yet, I hesitate to bring you into the fold. Why should I trust that you can stay your hand? That your loyalty to this organization will trump your lust for revenge? You've proven the exact opposite is the case. Give me a reason why I shouldn't just let you sit down here and rot until the war is over with."

Trace 7:47 PM

Hey, can't blame you for trying, considering your situation. The night in here didn't exactly allow you to do your homework. Neither does it help with the next question. You look at him, tired as you are, trying to muster up the energy to defend yourself. Can't say you're, heh, dying to prove your loyalty to him, but wasting away down here in this cell doesn't seem like a solution either. "I... can't live without this organization. And neither can those that I care about. I know that my actions didn't exactly show it, but I want to do what I can to help it succeed and keep us all safe where possible." You'd like to assure him that your thirst for revenge is well-quenched - and for now it is. But should anything happen to Nepeta and Fin in this war you've apparently summoned, things could get ugly really fast. You won't tell him that. He's probably well aware. You'd like to not have to come to that though. "You gave the reason yourself. We're good at what we can do, and without us, this is gonna be much harder to deal with. Sure, it's a risk for you, but I'd be the one out there, risking my neck. It's my blood they're after. I'm not expecting your trust. I'm sure if you send me out there again, you'll be keeping a close eye on me, until I'll maybe have proven myself someday. Not sure what else I can give you besides my word, and I don't think that's much worth to you right now."

Doc Scratch 1:35 PM

"Hmm, its true enough." You sit back down, leaning back as you think. If you were a lesser man, you might consider handing him over to the crew and suing for peace. That would only be a short term fix, though, and probably cause more problems than itd solve. Not to mention youre loathe to lose one piece of the set. "In truth, Trace, I dont blame you for your actions. Not fully. Droog brought his suffering upon himself. We're just lucky he was good enough to burn all the evidence." "At the very least you'll be going back to work soon, though as far away from Fin as possible. Perhaps Crowbar can take up the handle of your keeper. I cant have a mad dog running around doling out a childs version of vigilante justice." "For now, though, youll enjoy these accommodations. Im just having your room prepared."

Trace 1:48 PM

You should probably feel relieved at that response, could have gone much worse, after all. But the feeling of anxiety and dread keeps lingering. "I guess that's only fair." You lean back as well, which sends another pain shooting through your arm. A quiet hiss escapes you. Cursed thing. "Before you leave.. with all due respect, not trying to tell you what to do, but I don't think you'd find having me lose my arm or my life to an infection practical..."

Doc Scratch 1:55 PM

You were aleady on your way out when he makes his request. Now you pause, and turn slightly. "Does it hurt? Good. Its supposed to. Someone will be down soon to tend to it. Think on your mistakes, and how you can do better in the future." With that, you take your leave, closing and locking the door behind you.

#logs

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asagimeta · 6 years ago

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In Defense Of Seto Kaiba..... From Someone Who Used To Hate Seto Kaiba

@youfancymemaddearie said she'd hear me out on why Kaiba isn't The Actual Worst, so for this I'm mostly only going to be using the material I'm personally familiar with because things like context and translations and stuff could get warped otherwise, wich means roughly the first half of the dubbed anime, but I might pull other things here and there that I feel like I know well enough to have a grasp on via things like wikipedia and other meta (it's a long story as to why I never finished the anime so I won't bother getting into it here)

The manga, being a separate canon, is going to be pretty much ignored for this, except for one breif instance where I feel it's necessary to compare something from it to how the anime did it

So, the thing is, for most of my life as a YGO fan (15+ years as of 2018), I bordered between a really weird love and hate of Seto Kaiba, I loved him the way that I love a good villain, the way I love Hannibal Lecter let's say, he's entertaining and I always liked having him on the screen but as a person I really hated him, because.. why wouldn't I? He's an absolute dick to everyone around him with the exception of Mokuba, and even Mokuba doesn't exactly get the cuddly treatment most of the time, he spends the beginning of the series toeing the line between outright villain and anti-hero, and the amount of low-blows he hits and lack of care he has for people who are trying to help him- or people in general- is pretty terrible, atleast... that's how he's presented on the surface and that's how I felt for close to fifteen years

And then I started writing him and the little bastard forced me to change my opinion

Firstly, it's established from the beginning that Seto's actions in stealing Grandpa Muto's card and tearing it up (not to mention giving him a heartattack) aren't entirely his own, Seto had an evil possessing him at the time that, wile manifested from his own feelings, was no less a different entity, it took him over, just like Marik's dark self took him over, it's well-established in YGO that you can be so overcome with pain and anger and negativity that an entirely different spirit manifests and takes over your mind, a process that- wile reversible if caught early enough- is really something that can only be reversed by magic, like a shadow game or a mind crush

Since this is the thing that Atem removed from Seto's mind in episode one....

The actions he took prior to being mind-wiped can't be held entirely against him, as he was not consciously in control of what he was doing at the time, much like the actions of Yami Marik can't be held entirely against Hikari Marik, you can sure as hell blame Marik himself for alot of the things he did during Battle City, but things like the duels against Mai, Joey, and Atem, wherein it was blatantly clear that it was his evil half in control and his good half didn't have access to the controls (made even more obvious by the Yami Duel wherein both spirits had to sacrifice parts of their lighter selves/hosts for losing life points) are impossible to hold entirely against him

We also see that everything is Not Ok after the mind-crush, given that Seto passes up the chance to do his all-time favorite things (dueling, winning, and showing off) on the grandest scale yet when he decides to skip Duelist Kingdom, he claims it's because he doesn't know how to handle being defeated, and wile that may be partly true, it's pretty canonical that it was because of the mind crush (why else would they bring that hideous glob of evil around to duel Yugi/Atem once more?)

And, here's where the manga reference comes in, when you take into account that in the manga, he was in a six-month long coma after the mind-crush- and, mind you (ha), Duelist Kingdom is the turning point where the manga's canon starts to get closer to the anime's- it's really hard to believe that Seto's existential crisis is based on losing and not based on having evil forcefully removed from his soul by an ancient Egyptian spirit who's out to have a good time and was really feeling attacked at the moment

There's really no convenient place to inject backstory, so I'll do it here in the hopes of flowing more easily into the rest of Duelist Kingdom

Seto has been taking care of Mokuba since they were extremely young, he's essentially more like a father to him than a brother, and he had to learn early on to defend him - and that meant getting rougher, getting tougher, getting meaner, and when it came to Gozaburo- who's just about as abusive as one can get and really puts the word "pressure" to good use- that meanness has to amplify, it's made clear that Gozaburo wouldn't tolerate anything less than perfection and ruthlessness and if that was how Seto had to survive, that was how he had to survive, he spent most of his formative years under that kind of hand so naturally he was forced to form that way....

But as someone pointed out in another post somewhere, we can see by how well adapted Mokuba is just how much Seto has taken on in protecting him from that kind of corruption and evil, Gozaburo never really wanted Mokuba around so the pressure he put on him compared to Seto was definitely minimal... but that doesn't mean he wasn't just as abusive, and the fact that Mokuba spent the majority of his life with no parents of any kind and has relied pretty much solely on Seto as a parental figure- both in the way of necessities like food and shelter, as well as for emotional health- and yet has come out of it as a generally upbeat, positive, gentle person, really shows that Seto has to be doing something right, otherwise, it doesn't make alot of sense for Mokuba to have no shreds of bitterness, resentment, or negativity in him (again, going by the anime only) And further, to show the outstandingly deep devotion he does for Seto- utterly unwavering and full of not only loyalty, but genuine love and affection- proves that Seto has done something right somewhere, Mokuba never shows a single ounce of fear or hesitation towards him and never gives a second thought to hugging him, following him around, or getting involved in his personal affairs, if Seto had ever given him reason to be afraid of him (IE: abusing him or simply not stepping up to protect him when Gozaburo was abusing him) I find it really hard to believe that Mokuba would act so completely care-free with doing things that Seto may find unpleasant

Mokuba is Seto's entire world, he flat out tells Yugi that Mokuba is "everything to him", not money or power or success- Mokuba, wich is already something that speaks volumes about who he is as a person, and the extremes he goes to in order to protect Mokuba are .... pretty fucking extreme

When I was a kid, I thought that the "attack my Blue Eyes and you might just kill me" stunt he pulls on the rooftop at Pegasus' castle was a really filthy trick and was probably my primary reason for hating him as much as I did- and let's be honest, it IS a filthy option to resort to.... but as an adult, I understand it now, and can't place blame on him for feeling so completely backed into a corner, he wasn't trying to trick Atem, he was being sincere, I mean.... filthy and sincere... but still sincere

He would rather die than lose his brother, he was so desperate that he was ready to let someone kill him/commit suicide because he was out of options, and in that perspective, it's alot easier to understand why he did what he did, I don't excuse it, but I do understand it, and really, when it really boils down to things, can anyone say that they'd sooner let the only person in the entire world that they love die, for someone who they don't even like? The true crime of this entire thing isn't really that Seto was desperate enough to resort to suicide and emotional manipulation to win.... it's that he and Atem were both so stubborn and downright stupid that neither of them thought to actually communicate about why Seto needed to win in the first place, despite him saying repeatedly that he needed to save his brother and Atem saying repeatedly that he needed to save "his" grandfather, neither of them paused long enough to say "... We have a common goal, let's work together, or at the very least, come to a compromise" before resorting to such desperation, no one on this planet can seriously tell me that Atem wouldn't have jumped at the offer to save Mokuba if Seto had presented it to him, though, to be fair, I'll never understand why he didn't just offer to save Mokuba along with Grandpa in the first place (plot convenience really)

Although communication is an enormous problem with Seto and is one of the main reasons why he's always such a complete prick, he has a tendency to talk in code and to cover up what he means with what words he chooses to use, most likely because he A. Wasn't exposed to other children between the ages of 8-14 and before that most of his exposure was negative, and B. Was taught brutally that even the tiniest sign of compassion or understanding is weakness, and even the tiniest weakness is going to get you severely punished, he was already closed off to people during his stay at the orphanage, this just cemented that experience further

(And as a quick note, he acquired a company at 14-years-old, he was still a baby and running this God foresaken thing by himself, had no parental figure, still raising his brother ALONE, and let's also talk about how this 14-year-old BABY turned a weapons manufacturing company into a gaming company in less than two years, as he was sixteen during episode one of Duel Monsters)

To mention also: When faced with the fact that his company, that he had worked so extremely hard for, and that means so much to him, was being sold to Pegasus and he was being kicked out, where was his focus? Still on Mokuba, his brother was ALWAYS the absolute forefront of his focus during the entire Duelist Kingdom arc and his company played a very small second fiddle in comparison, I'm not sure if he even brought up the company more than once or twice during the entire arc, that's ... a little shocking all things considered

Additionally, despite how cold, untrusting, egotistical, and downright mean he can be, he outright thanks Yugi for rescuing Mokuba- twice- within the first season, once after Duelist Kingdom and once after Legendary Heros, that's kind of an enormous thing as Seto doesn't hand out gratitude easily.... though, speaking of gratitude we definitely have to confront the Joey-shaped elephant in the room

The way he treats Joey early on IS deplorable, he doesn't exactly treat any member of the Nerd Herd well, but things are especially prickly with Joey, and I'm unclear of the reasons for that- I don't think canon ever gives one- but I think of all of Seto Kaiba's ill moments, the way he treats Joey all the way up to late Battle City is without a doubt what I cringe at the most, he early on drives Joey so low into the ground that it gives him NIGHTMARES and is so ruthlessly horrible to him during that first encounter at Duelist Kingdom that I think, to date, it's the Kaiba thing I cringe at the most, I definitely don't excuse that behavior, and it burns me up like a firey demon when he refuses to thank Joey for being the one who ACTUALLY saved Mokuba, yet turns around and thanks Yugi instead, I'm also not exactly pleased with the fact that he tried to keep Joey out of his tournament but I really chalk that up mostly to Joey not having anything Seto wants and not being a duelist he respects vs outright cruelty, remember that for Seto, Battle City is ALL about getting the god cards and drawing out rare hunters, Red Eyes is Joey's rarest card but Seto never seems particularly impressed by it, and that coupled with him not respecting Joey's skills- as he believes he rode Yugi's coat tails through Duelist Kingdom- makes some sense as to why he wouldn't want him participating (outside of just disliking him) it would be counterproductive

The thing is, Seto DOES slowly shift out of "I legitimately hate your guts and am going to make sure you know it" and into "I'm going to pick on you because it's fun when you fight back and it's just how we communicate now", Battle City is a big turning point in my personal opinion, the second time Joey and Seto duel is still full of terribly mean words but the vibe is very different, from where I'm sitting, it feels alot more like an "I'm pulling your hair because I like you" type of thing and alot less like outright bullying for the sake of bullying, the fact that Joey doesn't take any of it to heart and just fights mean quip with mean quip the entire time is solid proof to me that the relationship is just mutual antagonism now and not so much outright bullying

Speaking of Battle City... there's alot of growth for Seto there, he works with Yugi and Atem frequently, at times by force (to save Mokuba) but at times because he wants to, he agreed to help Atem find the rest of the nerd herd before getting any word that Mokuba was taken because he wanted a duel for Atem's Slyfer card... even though all logic dictates that they probably would have faced eachother during the finals anyway and there is was literally no reason for Seto to follow him around begging for a duel like a five-year-old except for A. Impatience (not untrue) and/or B. Just .... wanting to, he could have so easily said "Find your own freinds, I'll get that Slyfer in the finals either from you or whoever beats you" but instead he spends his valuable time and energy tracking down Joey via his duel disk, and after all is said and done and Mokuba is safe...... he still helps Atem, he claims it's because he doesn't like owing people but that's never prompted him to go out of his way for Yugi and the others before (post Duelist Kingdom and Legendary Heros, Mokuba is the one who lets Yugi use the arena at Kaiba Land for his duel with Rebecca, here Seto has built up two favors that he owes and yet never says a word or makes an attempt to return them, so why does "owing" someone push him to keep helping Atem in Battle City when it didn't before? Either his "I don't like owing people" philosophy is new- wich is still charector growth- or he just wanted a reasonable excuse to keep helping Atem because he knew it was the right thing to do) Speaking of the right thing to do, when they DO track down Joey and Tea`, Seto is... surprisingly inactive during the duel, he has plenty of perfect opportunities to stop the duel somehow, and, if he was REALLY feeling cruel, to just outright steal Slyfer (wich Atem tossed aside when he started the duel) and get rid of both Atem and Joey by interrupting and making the anchor sink, yet he carefully keeps his distance until the timing is right for him to save Tea` because he doesn't want ANY of them to get hurt, not the rival he can't defeat, not the "third rate duelist" he supposedly hates, and not even someone (Tea`) who he barely knows

This is the same guy who gave an old man a heart-attack and used it as blackmail in episode one

Additionally, Seto immediately leaves after saving the day, that all-important duel that Atem owed him that he had FINALLY won? It didn't happen, Seto was still nagging him about it even after saving Mokuba, yet when it came time for Atem to FINALLY pay up he just..... walked off and said "nah see ya' in the finals", maybe he knew how exhausted Atem was and didn't want to duel him at half-power, maybe he was personally too tired to bother with it (although dueling to Seto seems to work the same way twenty-five cups of coffee does to a normal person so I doubt this) or maybe he just didn't feel like making Atem come through on his deal anymore, it doesn't really matter, it's all growth

And let me also point out that Atem wouldn't even have Slyfer if Seto hadn't given him a freaking pep talk in order to win it, Seto could have just as easily waited for Atem to lose and then dueled the mime for Slyfer- and that probably would have been smarter honestly, since Atem is the only one who has a history of defeating him- and yet.... he chooses to put energy into helping Atem instead

I feel like it's kind of understated that in the Battle City finals, Seto actually has a doctor and an infirmary on board the blimp, he claims that anyone who can't handle dueling at high altitudes and with raging winds isn't worth his time so what is the doctor and full medical bay doing there then? If he was that worried about Mokuba alone he would have had a much easier time just telling him not to go above deck, and if it was about law suits I tend to believe he wouldn't have people dueling on top of a freaking blimp in the first place, so he either anticipated Marik's shadowy shenanigans coming up (wich is a POOL of charector development on alot of different levels) or he anticipated accidents, people getting air sick, issues with the high altitude and what not, and figured that he'd better be completely prepared even for things like that wich are relatively small and not really needing of the tricked out medical bay (he had atleast one LIFE SUPPORT machine in there so obviously it went above and beyond just a first aid kit) Also, I know I said I was using the dub for this, but it's come to my attention that in the sub Seto is alot less of a jerk than he is in the dub about landing the blimp- originally, the ONLY problem is that the controls are screwy from the Noah incident (wich, by the way, is an enormous Thing all on it's own about Seto all on it's own, it's basically a showcase of Wow Was His Childhood Fucked Up, Let's Rub It In, and it's made clear just how impacted he was by his father and his father's company throughout, from the importance of his duel with Lecter being weapons-themed to his final duel with Guzaburo and saying "I won't be burried by you Guzaburo", giving up his chance to defeat Noah because he refused to hurt Mokuba, and the gem of telling Mokuba that everything he's done has been for him and a better future for them) and speaking of moments where the dub fucked up, I find another important gem during mid-Battle City when Tea` mentions that Seto actually lowered the price of duel disks "so everyone can play", that sounds alot less like a strict businessman and alot more like someone who just wants to offer kids the same escapism that he had when he was their age to me, a similar motivation I'm sure to why he opens up Kaiba Land

This is sadly where my "I'm greatly familiar with this material" knowledge comes to an end, as I only saw roughly half of the Orichalicos arc and that was too long ago for me to remember most of the small details in (plus I tend to kind of ... try to wipe that arc off the books considering that I find it to be a butchery of.. alot of things..)

Seto Kaiba is a complicated charector, he's very prickly and definitely an asshole- that's not in question- but I think he's really a very soft person when you peel back the initial layer, he's very good-hearted at his core, he just has an incredibly hard time expressing that- and for VERY understandable reasons, for all of his selfishness and egotism, he pours absolutely everything about himself into protecting his brother and gives alot of himself to trying to make things better for people (turning a weapons company into a gaming company may have been his dream but it was also an outlandishly hard task to accomplish and one that ultimately was better for the world, for example) there are moments where this all shines through but he tapes masks of coldness and insults and dueling metaphors over top of it because he just sincerely doesn't know how else to handle things, he IS, after all, still a 16-year-old child when the series begins, and I think he's only 18-19 at most when it ends, in the grand scheme of life, he's still practically a baby and has been thrust into so much adulthood that most 40-year-olds would have jumped ship already, he takes on the responsibility of his brother and his company and being a half-ass decent person (in so far as, you know, not blowing up the world or anything) without ever once complaining about it or trying to shrug it off or giving it ANYTHING but his all, and when you earn his trust and respect (as Atem and Yugi do) you get alot of loyalty and trust back- the shenanigans he goes through that he doesn't explicitly have to are good showings of this, and all of the ruthlessness his shows are purely survival instincts at their highest, he's had his company nearly taken away from him FOUR. TIMES. between Duelist Kingdom and the Orichalicos arc, FOUR. SEPERATE. TIMES. and I have an outstandingly difficult time believing that those were the first or last times that some crusty old men thought that a teenage C.E.O. would be easy prey to steal a multi-billion dollar company from, he's probably been white-knuckling that company since the day he took it over and I don't see that ending any time in the near future

#Seto Kaiba #Yugioh #ygo #Yu-Gi-Oh #I'm so sorry I've done this to you

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heartslogos · 7 years ago

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newfragile yellows [200]

“I’m cutting this down to the bones,” Lavellan says as she tosses her travel cloak at a servant standing by the door, who catches it and bows out of the room with the practiced ease of someone long used to Lavellan and her almost casual disregard for protocol, “Advisors, meet my Triumvirate, Triumvirate, meet my Advisors. And this the Iron Bull. Be civil, Hunter.”

A man with pale hair and a sharp mouth scowls but crosses his arms and glances at them before following after Lavellan into the council room.

“Don’t mind him,” A woman, also with pale hair, but with round, almost sleepy eyes says, “Mahanon’s like that to everyone, especially when he’s around the Most Holy of the Dales. Come. The Most Esteemed writes about the three of you often.”

The woman cuts a sly look at the Iron Bull and pointedly turns away and walks into the room after the other two.

There’s a third man inside, sprawled out on some cushions on the floor and grinning up at them, waving a hand, “Hail and well met, as they say.”

“A single show of respect is all that’s ever asked of you, and yet you fail every single time to meet that incredibly low standard, Mahariel. Stand up when the Most Holy enters a room,” Mahanon sneers, kicking at Mahariel as he passes.

Mahariel catches Mahanon’s ankle and flutters his lashes, “Call me Theron, dont make me beg, my love.”

“I continue to fail to see what the Most Holy sees in you,” Mahanon replies, shaking Mahariel off and moving on to stand in front of a long, heavy wooden desk that is covered in neat stacks of wooden scroll tubes and flat paper.

“An attempt at pretending to be civilized people,” Lavellan says, dry as she shrugs off her riding coat and throws that onto the chair behind the desk.

All three of the other elves in the room immediately stare with an incredibly unnerving focus on the bandaged stump of Lavellan’s arm. Mahariel stands up and the three elves stand in front of Lavellan’s desk and stare.

Lavellan lowers herself into her seat and waves the one arm she does have at them, “The one one the far left is Mahanon, my second in command over the Knights, Hunters, and Blades and former Master of Blades. I meant it when I said be civil, Mahanon. Theron Mahariel is my Speaker, he presides over court affairs, various official events and practices, as well as overall general peacekeeping. He would be, I suppose, my head Ambassador, Josephine. And Lyna Mahariel is my Hearthkeeper, she watches and maintains domestic affairs such as food stores, land distribution, general welfare, et cetera, et cetera. The Triumvirate is not quite as clean cut as the three of you.”

Lavellan waves between the three standing in front of her, “All three of them coordinate between all matters, not a single one of them is absolute in their domain. In example, all three of them practice various bard arts. Theron tends to control gossip and control public image, but Lyna can start and stop rumors as well as manipulate land distribution to suit our needs. Mahanon can send spies where he pleases, but Theron has secret informants all over. I expect that at first it will be difficult for the six of you to coordinate with one another given cultural differences and expectations. I trust that some sort of understanding will be worked out sooner rather than later.”

“Yes, most Holy,” The three elves chime.

Cullen nods, “Yes, Inquisitor.”

“It will be interesting, to be sure,” Leliana says.

Josephine smiles, “Everything starts somewhere. At least there is some common ground.”

Lavellan nods, “To business. What news?”

The members of the Triumvirate fall into attention, arms behind their backs and feet planted firmly, chins up.

“We have begun to pull out suspected spies of Fen’Harel - Solas,” Theron says, “It is not easy, but general public opinion is in our favor.”

“And the truth of the matter?”

“Concealed between those present. The Elder Council is unaware.”

“As are the High Priests, Most Holy,” Lyna adds on, “They continue to adhere to our edda’s. Many pray and leave offerings for you at the main shrine. There has been some unrest, concerning that. I believe it would be most beneficial for you to make a public appearance, especially since it is common knowledge that you have returned within our borders.”

Theron shifts on the balls of his feet, “Many, Most Holy, worry you returned to die.”

“Does it look that way to you?” Lavellan raises an eyebrow. “Continue with your report. What of the general attitude of the people?”

“The expected unrest,” Mahanon says, “Many want war and proper retribution. They are willing to fight for you, Commander.”

Lavellan taps her fingers on the wood and turns to Cullen, “What is the general feeling you get from our soldiers, Cullen? They are aware that there are traitors in our ranks, spies. If Inquisition forces were to begin working with the armies of the Dales in full would there be possible repercussions?”

“Honestly, Inquisitor, I believe that we do need the power but it may be a hard touch to the ego,” Cullen admits, “Many would think that the Inquisition is enough and that it should be the armies of the Dales that are subsumed into the army of the Inquisition I understand it would not be a true and real merge that is being suggested. However…”

“It would look as though the armies of the Dales are taking the lead,” Lyna finishes, “And it would, Most Holy, possibly cause unrest on our side as well. There are many who wish to march on Orlais, and have wanted that since before news of your near-assassination took place.”

“But will they remain on my side once it is revealed that it was the doing of Fen’Harel?” Lavellan asks, “And will they continue to remain on my side once his goals are made clear?”

“It depends,” Theron says slowly, “On how you spin this gold for them.

“I have a few ideas,” Lavellan says, “I believe that many would agree with me in saying that it does not matter the source of our gods. Once they became gods they were no longer the people they were. They became myths, more than themselves. Their identities were no longer their own. Their lives are ours to shape and dictate as we see fit. Such is the life of a public servant.”

“Yes, that is the general belief and attitude,” Lyna says, “But the harder struggle would be to avoid getting people to follow his cause out of desire and want.”

“Josephine and Bull have ideas for that,” Lavellan says, gesturing for Josephine to come forward. “I personally think that they are quite clever, however I have been somewhat out of touch with current emotional climes and do need your opinion before we proceed. Josephine, please.”

“The Inquisitor has mentioned that Solas has had spies within the Dales before, and that you have often caught them in acts of what could be considered treason or sabotage,” Josephine says, “And that his agents have been a destabilizing force for years. This could win public opinion, after all - it was Solas who. Who cut away the Anchor.”

“Fen’Harel tried to murder the Most Holy of the Dales,” Bull says, “After taking away a source of immense power for his own use. Go to your priests and use this as proof that Lavellan is in the right as a guard against negative forces and that her reign is watched over by a higher and greater good. Combine that with the idolization and transformation of historical figures into separate ideas and concepts and you’ll be good to go.”

“I like him,” Lyna says, “Can I have him?”

“No, your tastes aren’t compatible,” Lavellan says. “It would ultimately be very disappointing for you both in the end and I would rather spare you both the awkwardness since we will be working in close conjunction together for some time. Perhaps after we deal with the homicidal idealist with grand delusions of penance.”

“Excellent, can I have him?” Theron asks, batting his eyelashes at Bull with an exaggerated wink.

“No,” Lavellan says, “I forbid it, he’s too good for you.”

“The best thing about you becoming the Commander of the Dales and Most Holy of the People is that you never had to marry him,” Mahanon says and then casts Bull a considering glance, “I will take him.”

Lavellan scowls, “Absolutely not. What would you even want him for?”

“What do you want him for?” Mahanon fires back and Lavellan closes her eyes with a look of pure exasperation that screams for patience.

“Out with it. Whatever it is you’re just snapping at the bit to say, since you see much more exuberant than your usual self. Just spit it out. We don’t have time for you to be petty.“

“You should not have allowed yourself to be summoned like a dog,” Mahanon immediately replies, flatly and pointed. Lavellan narrows her eyes at him. Theron and Lyna both grimace. Mahanon stares straight back at Lavellan with an unwavering gaze. “You know it. I know it. We all, in this entire country know it. If only that were your first mistake.”

Cullen’s eyes widen. Josephine blinks rapidly. Leliana’s eyes just slide between the two.

Bull stares at the side of Mahanon’s head and wonders how the fuck he got this far without losing it, knowing Lavellan’s temper.

“I,” Lavellan says slowly breathing out as she spreads her palm flat on the table, “Am going to forgive your complete and utter idiotic lack of common sense in speaking to me that way when we are neither speaking in privacy or without my specific leave for you to drop formality, out of the goodness of my fucking heart.”

Theron and Lyna groan, shoulders sagging as they stare upwards at the ceiling.

“They couldn’t wait to get this done for after,” Theron sighs.

Lyna turns around and goes to sit on the cushions, snagging Josephine and Leliana by the arms, “Might as well sit. This is going to take a while. Mahanon’s been itching for this for months.”

“Right, want a drink? I don’t think we have anything quite strong enough to carry us through this piss contest,” Theron says dryly as he gestures towards a liquor cabinet lined up on the far wall, “But I’m sure it counts that we try.”

“Ah yes, the goodness of your heart that’s caused you to leave your country for almost four consecutive years,” Mahanon plows on, still standing at attention but practically glaring down his nose at Lavellan who’s curled her shoulders in her chair like someone ready to lunge. “The goodness of your heart that caused you to leave the false empress on the throne of Orlais. Do you mean that specific goodness of your heart, Commander?”

“Is it like this all the time?” Bull asks as he sits down on one of the cushions, accepting a crystal glass of something that smells faintly of dandelions from Theron.

“Oh you should see them around the holidays,” Theron laughs, “It gets explosive, really.”

“And this is - permitted,” Leliana says, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

“Not exactly,” Lyna admits. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s actually not,” Theron says.

“No,” Lyna sighs, raising her glass up, “It isn’t. Cheers, I suppose, to the return of the Most Holy, sounding in perfect form.”

“Really,” Theron says, giving the others pitying looks as the not-quite shouting match continues, “It is fine. That’s just how they show - affection.”

“Affection,” Bull repeats.

“Some siblings play a sport together,” Lyna says, “Some siblings share stories and write letters. Some of them share a hobby or craft. Some of them even hug each other.”

“And then there’s the Lavellan twins,” Theron says, “Mahanon is right, it’s very lucky that Ellana became the Most Holy and got our engagement annulled. I don’t think I would have survived marrying into that clan.”

“Cousin,” Lyna sighs shaking her head as she takes another generous drink of out of her crystal goblet, “You wouldn’t have survived the courtship announcement, let alone made it to the actual ceremony.”

#heartsfic #gather your party and venture forth

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saras-almanac · 7 years ago

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In my earlier post I mentioned different theories as to why IM had chosen this pregnancy route as a storyline and how they could have done this better. There’s three main ones that I keep seeing and I just wanted to put some thoughts about them down. I know that they are entitled to do what they want to do, but as a person literally going to school for a masters in fiction and screen-writing, I cannot believe that a room full of paid professionals came up with this and was like, Yeah that’s the best we can do. It just baffles me beyond reason. That’s just my little disclaimer so feel free to read on if you’d like. (It’s accidentally almost 3k. See why I had to cut it from my last post?)

Reason One: Splitting Aaron and Robert up

Literally any other reason would have worked. We all know their MO by now: they argue and break up and then get back together (usually when something dramatic happens). Split them up when Aaron and Robert got into the argument while Aaron was in prison. Robert just doesn’t go back to visit again. I mean, it would give them the Robert’s a massive dick angle they clearly love. It might also give some interesting dynamics after the fact of them trying to find their way back to each other.

Have Aaron self-destructing out of prison and trying to deal with his trauma on his own. He pushes Robert away and things just fall apart. It would suck to watch Aaron go through more misery, but they love that too. Also it would make sure that all he suffered in prison was actually for a reason and not just magically wiped away because Jason is sad?? (That was a ridiculous coda if ever there was one) Maybe he’s still an addict when he comes out of prison and has to go through that whole storyline. He can’t quite handle the torture he went through in prison at the hands of Jason and is suffering a form of PTSD that he keeps snapping at Robert over while not actually telling him anything. Aaron could call their relationship off because he’s tired of Robert constantly nagging at him while Robert’s totally confused because Aaron’s been off since coming out but not actually telling him anything. This could lead to misery for both of them, lots of counselling and work on Aaron’s part, and potentially this ridiculous Robert’s scheming at Home Farm again plot they clearly wanted.

Or my personal favorite, Aaron feels like he doesn’t belong anymore because life went on without him and he can’t cope. Aaron kicks Robert out because he can’t handle the fact that Robert has sort of “replaced” him in terms of Liv. Aaron hasn’t been great at accepting Robert’s help in regards to Liv all the time. I mean, just before he went to prison he said that she was Aaron’s problem and his responsibility. Imagine that Aaron comes home and is confused and a bit insecure about the fact that Robert seems to be more of a father-figure to Liv who she comes to for money and help because Robert’s helped her and was there for her and made sure that she had a tutor. Not to mention the house, their home, is completely finished and Aaron didn’t have a say in so it doesn’t feel like his home and it’s just another reminder of how he doesn’t fit with Robert and Liv anymore. This one might be a bit of a stretch and harder to work through but it could have been some lasting drama of sorts.

But yeah, if their main goal was to split Aaron and Robert up, they could have picked any number of other reasons to get there. Especially with their communication problems.

Reason Two: Robert becoming a father

I’ve seen quotes about this idea that they only wanted to get Rebecca pregnant because it would have been a great way for Robert to deal with his own issues with his dad.

Um, what about Liv? He’s already opened up to her briefly about his dad; he at least told her about his father’s funeral. It would have been such an interesting way to explore his issues with his dad and trying to figure out how to parent just like him and not like him at the same time with a child that’s not his. Especially since Aaron knows at least parts of what happened between Robert and his father. The insecurity and rivalry with Andy could sort of be worked out through dealing and parenting Liv. And just imagine the insecurity she’s probably going to feel if Aaron and Robert ever decide to have kids of their own. I mean, can’t you just picture the conversation between Liv and Robert about how Liv’s not really their kid but like don’t forget me and she says it jokingly but Robert thinks back to feeling second best and the insecurity that his father was stuck with Robert but chose Andy and how Liv might be feeling the same way and then it leads to a heart-to-heart between them.

Another way to show Robert dealing with his issues is having him try to get closer to Sarah and especially Jack. Since the village seems to love throwing his lack of caring at Robert whenever the plot demands it even though I don’t think anyone on the Dingle side even seems to remember who the father of the kids are—Have we even seen Vic or Diane with those kids? Definitely not recently. This storyline would bring so much into it: Robert’s issues with Andy and trying to really put that behind him and be there for his kids the way Andy would want to if he could have been there; probably dealing with his feelings about his father because Andy even got to name his son after Jack so there’s literally nothing left of Jack for Robert to even have now except the constant reminders of Jack’s disappointment; constantly dealing with the Dingle put-downs about how he’s not good enough for Aaron; dealing with the questions about why he wants to get involved now and how these kids are Dingles and he’s like technically they’re Sugdens too and I just want to have a better relationship with my niece and nephew.

Or use Noah as a substitute. I refuse to believe that these two have not kept in contact. I mean, Robert threatened him and then took care of him while his mother went away with Chas and I just can’t imagine Noah not being like this guy is awesome. (That might just be my own love of Robert blinding me, though) And then maybe Robert helps Noah with some of the bullies he’s facing or with his homework or something. Just giving Noah a place to stay since Charity seems to not have any desire anymore to remember that she even has him.

Imagine the tension any of these situations could have caused if Aaron and Robert were broken up? I mean, Liv feeling like she’s stuck in the middle but feeling like Robert’s the only one she can actually talk to about certain stuff because she doesn’t want to put that all on Aaron and Robert assuring her that no matter what’s happening between him and Aaron he’ll always be there for them if they need him.

And Chas and Charity and Cain giving Robert a hard time about just trying win Aaron back by spending some time with his niece and nephew. Imagine this leading Robert and Debbie to come to some sort of loan agreement that no one else knows about in her currently storyline and it doesn’t come out until later that Robert’s the one who lent her the money and helped her out and people are shocked because Robert’s “one true love” is money and he never misses an opportunity to brag about stuff like that and lord it over people but he’s like I just wanted to help the mother of my niece and nephew because he’s actually trying and people got so mad at him for his investment money and he realized he hadn’t been a huge part of their lives through both his own fault and the Dingles a bit.

Or just imagine Charity’s reaction to Noah hanging out with Robert and he gives her a bit of “It’s not like you’re ever there for him anymore” a la his chats with Paddy.

There’s just so much untapped potential between Robert and already existing characters they could have done this fatherly Robert storyline with. There are ways to be parental without having a biological child.

Reason Three: Getting Robert involved with the Whites (for their exit)

First of all, why? Why does he need to be involved in this at all? You know what would have been fucking amazing? If we watched the Whites going down in flames (or gunshots, whatever) and things are just going to hell and after whatever happens happens, there’s Robert sitting in that smug way of his at Home Farm. Or going to talk to Lawrence’s grave, Chrissie, and Lachlan who I assume will be in prison if he is the person who shoots people, and tells them about how Home Farm is in great hands now and it’s the idea that Robert just swooped in and stole it right from under their nose. Or he’s working with a third party to offer to buy out the company and at the last second it’s revealed to be Robert. The idea of Robert being like, you are all so incompetent I didn’t even have to do anything but wait and watch it burn because Lawrence is so desperate for it to be in family hands that he doesn’t seem to care that his family doesn’t seem to know what they’re doing. (Apart from Chrissie who is amazing and I love her.)

That’s the storyline I would have loved to have seen if Robert has to be involved in Home Farm any more. Why the drugging of Lawrence at all? I mean, we still don’t actually know his end goal here. I can assume that it’s to gain control of Home Farm because it’s what he always does when his life goes to hell, but does he want to own the company? Does he want to be co-owners? Is it against Lawrence? Rebecca? All of them? For how they treated Robert before? Or because of their involvement in his break-up form Aaron? I might be able to buy more into this storyline if I actually knew why Robert was plotting up there and I didn’t have to just pick a reason for myself.

For a change of pace, they could have had Lawrence approach Robert for help and maybe he’s trying it on with Robert because Ronnie left and Robert’s debating going for that hat trick. (What a trash son but I love him.) Or Lawrence realizes that he needs help and as much as he hates it knows that Robert is a good businessman. It turns into this really awkward affair because no one actually likes each other but Lawrence is giving Robert a chunk of the company and we get actual clarification that Robert is the reason Home Farm was doing as well as it was. That Robert truly was the person behind their success. And Lawrence hates to admit it, but he just doesn’t think that Lachlan can manage on his own. And if he splits up the company between himself, Rebecca and Robert—Lachlan getting Lawrence’s shares when Lawrence truly retires/dies—then the White family will still have hold over the company. (At least until Robert convinces Rebecca that this isn’t what she even wants to be doing and eventually buys her share of the company but in a less I’m drugging your father sort of way.)

Or better yet, Chrissie goes to ask for Robert’s help and it’s the return of their relationship, sort of. But the way they wind each other up and hate that they’re impressed with each other would be so much fun to watch especially if Chrissie is leaving. I mean, Chrissie comes to Robert because she doesn’t want to be involved with her dad right now and begs him to help the company because she knows how much it means to him—or assumes it means something to him—and Rebecca clearly has no brain anymore for some reason and her dad’s a mess and she just doesn’t want to see it end this way. This could be so great for them both to get some closure on their relationship—especially between Aaron and Chrissie. There was never really a conversation between them and I think it would have been great to see and this strange almost fight for Robert even though Chrissie doesn’t want him anymore the insecurity she might be feeling is something Aaron might be able to relate to. (Hell, they should have exploited this dynamic for this garbage broken up storyline. Especially since Robert cheated on Aaron he now knows what it feels like a bit.)

Or if you’re pairing him with Chrissie, what if they’re both working together to sell Home Farm? Chrissie is still angry with her dad for lying to her and she doesn’t really want to hurt him but also doesn’t think it’s fair that Rebecca and Lawrence should reap the benefits of all Chrissie and Robert’s hard work. So she approaches Robert and tells him that she has an offer for him, her only rule is that he cannot own the company at the end and he agrees because he doesn’t actually want it but any chance to take Lawrence and the Whites down a bit is a nice ego boost for him. Especially with Chrissie on his side and we’re reminded again as to how much of a power couple Robert and Chrissie are because they can do so much damage together. It would also be interesting to bring in the tenuous relationship between Chrissie and Rebecca and Chrissie getting answers as to why Robert slept with her and he admits that he only asked her to come back to help clear Andy’s name. It would just be really interesting to see them working together and getting closure, especially if Chrissie’s leaving. Actually give her something to do.

I’m sure there are others but those are the ones I keep seeing the most.

This entire storyline is so exhausting because there’s no real answer as to why they’re doing this storyline. Right now, this entire storyline feels like a way for Aaron to work on himself and his own mental health (though completely off screen) and the Whites leaving. That’s it. It doesn’t feel like a real story for Robert and it definitely isn’t a story for or about Rebecca. I just… don’t understand the point of going this route if that’s all they were trying to do with it. Perhaps I’m completely wrong here and that’s entirely possible, but watching the episodes lately, that’s all that’s coming across to me.

As much as I want a Robert breakdown so the show is forced to deal with Robert in a real way and not a panto villain sort of way, I also don’t feel like they’ve earned it right now. The same goes for a Rebecca was lying/conning Robert the whole time twist. The reason twists like that work is because your audience is invested in the situation you’ve created, not just waiting (and praying) for the moment it’s over.

One day I’ll stop writing so much about Emmerdale and having it invading my thoughts, but today is not that day.

#feel free to come and talk to me about any of this or emmerdale in general #i have so many thoughts and feelings on this show and my friend is tired of listening to me!#emmerdale #robert sugden #robron #aaron dingle #the white family

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the-end-of-art · 7 years ago

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Nothing better than similar friendships

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination Harvard Commencement Speech 2008 by J.K. Rowling (Text as delivered)

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, the law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step to self improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These may seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that would never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension. I know that the irony strikes with the force of a cartoon anvil, now.

So they hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all the subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

Now you might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I personally will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working at the African research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to speak against their governments. Visitors to our offices included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had left behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him back to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just had to give him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard, and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom: As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters. I wish you all very good lives. Thank-you very much.

#J.K. Rowling

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random0gener8r · 7 years ago

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August 21, 2017 Obviously, all of my feeling come from my perspective and so have nothing to really do with him. That was what I was trying to spare him from by not communicating. Next time, I’ll communicate that. It’s clear and concise with no emotional tones or spillover. Yes, I indulged my humanity. Yes, I reveled in my story. Yes, I chose pain due to fear. And that’s okay. I let my stories envelope me. I allowed them to whisper in my mind. I chose to play the game. Because I had a question and wanted an answer. I wanted my spiritual test. It started with an innocent viewing of a half million dollar home. I swear, it was 90% for the Center for Life Exploration. You don’t understand the vision I have. Hell, I don’t. I have an overview; with the Spiritual Center being the clearest at the moment as I’ve put the most focus into envisioning it. Point – I was trying to bring vision into reality, find out the questions and answers I’d need to think and learn about, while seeing what half a million could buy, the potentiality of lots, and enjoying looking at great big beautiful and yet completely wasteful unless shared, opened, and used to the benefit of the community, I mean WWWEEEEEEEEEEE! Fun stuff. But at a level I’m not ready for. Not even close. There is no magic spell. No inherent knowledge. You have to experience it. That’s the class system – at what level of monetary creation you have been exposed to. Rich people get to skip all the steps below. That’s what’s bullshit. And I’m not saying every one of them. I don’t know any to truly hold any judgement on the matter. You don’t see them around, though, if you get what I mean. I liked the people I met at the Ventana Staycation. I had a great time. It’s too bad none reached back out to me. Anyway, you, my dear, have to experience it for yourself. Take an idea and make it happen from the ground up. That’s what you’ve never done. The novel was too lonely. I didn’t have anyone to talk with it about. So, that’s what happened. I changed, not to my great pleasure, from wanting to be alone, do everything by myself, to wanting to share the process of creation. The lack of completion to date can be viewed not as failure to finish things you start (which really, there aren’t that many, jobs not included, ‘cuz I’m batting maybe 50-50 in that arena). I thought there was something wrong with me, with my abilities, but they were simply forcing me forward, as slow as I was to catch on. Now, I’m in FUN World. Where I remember it’s just a game that I’m playing against myself, with everyone around me having their part to play. It is my choice in how I want to perceive any encounter. I do bond too quickly for most people. I can’t help it. The more you know, the more interesting it is. But that’s me. I can see how that could come off as rather needy. I don’t know. I’ve never asked. Intense. Perhaps that’s a better word. Squirrel – Dipping down into full humanity is how I play my game. I can’t stay in FUN World forever yet. Don’t know that I’d want to. It down here in the aware emotions of pain and suffering that I find my truth reaffirmed. It is where I find my signposts and tests of my beliefs, ethics and morality come into play. That is the real battle takes place – between you and yourself and how much of your ideology, morality and ethics, and beliefs are you willing to violate to get what you want, to make the world conform to your desires – which are absolutely no more important or better, right, good, or than anyone else’s . However a person derives their code, those sets of experiences and choices is their ultimate right of choice (and from the highest level the experience you or I would have chosen had we experienced/lived that person’s life. We all really are doing what we were meant to do, the pain and suffering and need to make other people and this world bend to our will to spread our perspective like a virus (what every groups of individual people is wont to do by the way). Not one perspective is better or worse. It’s all a personal preference. Personal desire to create what we want, that which makes us most comfortable (the question then, to what expense? 1 person, 10, a million, the world?) How many perspectives must you assimilate until you feel safe enough? Life isn’t supposed to be safe. Death is inevitable. Yes, none of us want to lose our loved ones. Most are terrified of what comes next. Some preferences make some social situations less applicable to their perceived well-being. Those are the foundation of a person’s core personality or being. Everyone has a “right” and a “wrong” division. Those that don’t are mentally ill. Everyone else is on a spectrum. It’s time to regroup. That’s all. And redistribute. It will be okay. We promise not to rip your heads off, drink your blood, sing songs of hatred and abuse and curse you to whatever scares you the most, which is actually having to give a shit about our perspectives. You know they exist but you just don’t care because you’re thinking on global levels – well, you fucked that up as well. You are bad at your jobs. You are fired. But that has swerved in a political direction so, let’s move on from that. This could take a minute.  Section from AUG 17 ESSAY written today (Aug 17 section) In the dream, I was hanging with a couple, noting going on; they were kind to me, I had use of all of their facilities, but I didn’t consider that beyond an off-road vehicle that I would like to try. Point – we were cool, and so I wanted to make them breakfast, but suddenly everything went crazy. They left to do what they did out of the house, and I was preparing to leave, I was anticipating packing my car, and yet, making them individualized breakfasts, I guess as going away gift – then everything went wrong. The house hated me. A mattress hated me. I tried to banish it but the overall power of the house was to strong. There was no way I could win. And it just kept taking things from me. My parents. I couldn’t reach my cat. My clothes. The breakfast. My car. I couldn’t escape in the one thing I could always count on. (BTW my tire indicator came on today, FYI, I’d been thinking about it, but today, of all days. I mean, it was due, but really!!!!!) (Aug 21) And the wall tried to suck me in to eat me. The walls, floors, streets were twisted and roiling. Trapped in my car, viewed as through the lens of a Monet painting, I don’t know, the Starry Night guy with the comet, was that Picasso? (How sad, but you know who I mean so communication completed! Yeah for me!) Unable to escape, all of my possessions eaten by the wall, a curse placed on me, and my car turned into the mirrored innards of an eight sided die, I was tossed about, all control gone flipping and flopping against the hard glass, no longer in a painting but all hard iron and glass. And I awoke. And I knew I’d failed my spiritual test. My desire to force a favorable outcome goes against my code – gifts only. And I’d tried so hard, I mean, I really put my spiritual back into it. I have expended energy like that longer than I can remember. I really crossed my code – my moral, ethical and belief/spiritual choices that define my personal and only applicable to me, set of absolute judgements of right/wrong, good/bad, acceptance/fear. All ultimate dualities. And as I was looking for a test, there ya go, I got one, and I failed, but I apologized sincerely, yet was still mad ‘cuz it was only 10% about me, a girls gotta live, and not off her parents. I thought it was reasonable. I was wrong. Unable to leave it that way, I took a nap and I was rolled out into a nice world and all was forgiven, but that was their/my higher-self dimension, not down here in the mud, so I got pissed, both meanings. I cursed them back for their miserliness. I thought death thoughts. Then I had some cannasand and talked to Paul. And he cared. And that was all I needed. Just one. The next night was a fabulous dream of flying and reality jumping and enjoying the situation which was fun. So I knew that I had passed the following test to see if I’d actually learned anything. As Paul said, “there is always another test”. I don’t like wasting my time. So I took that experience along with Paul’s creating his own Meetup group as an inspiration to do what it takes to create the reality you want through forward motion, to set a date for the first Center for Spiritual Exploration (from her on out aka CSE) meeting. I was looking forward to sharing it and inviting him to help me out by participating, when the whole camping and movie meetup and having his daughter, situation occurred. I was curious to see how much of the Four Agreements he could apply to the situation. He used the word assume, so it shows awareness of his logical state which is effected by the emotional, and it was what it was. So, I’ve been binge watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and as Paul and I are restoring communicational clarity, and Nina the neighbor in Unit 5 came over to introduce herself, Kimmy goes to church and the pastor’s name is Denise. Yes, I know that the use of my name is on the rise. So, as I’ve been having revelations and positive communications, I get a signpost/note/”hey”, a confirmation of the application of experiences with personal positive outcomes in a way that didn’t transgress my Code. It felt like a congratulatory, “you’ll get there, you’re on your ‘really cool’ path.” Not perfect, never perfect as goal, or you lose all chance of spontaneous authenticity; strive for your best each and every day, whatever that may look like that day. Lazy language allows more miscommunications. No amount of communal agreement can make you “right” when you go against Your Own Code.

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