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heart2beom · 2 years ago

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Hellooo I’ve said this as an anon before but I absolutely love your writing! Unrelated, but I was wondering if you have any Beomgyu fic recommendations? I read everything I could in the long post containing fic recs on your previous 4beomy account and I loved every single one of them, but now I can’t find anything left so I’m just rereading my faves LOL Thank you! (And also, thank you for writing! Again, your fics make me so happy)

You’re sooo sweet, thank you for complimenting me not once but TWICE 😭😭?? In terms of recs, I honestly have no idea if I’ve read anything much lately so I had to quickly cruise through my likes both on here and my old blog 😭

I present to you the list of beomgyu fics I’ve decently enjoyed (hopefully no repeats from my other list):

-> Message in a Bottle by @delacyrose224

very cute stuff, best friends to lovers...everyone knows at this point, but i'll forever express my love for this basic ass trope (i literally have a full list of books for b2l. the best romance books come from this trope!!!). one thing i loved about this fic is the portrayal of beomgyu-- just a genuinely good guy. the way he was discreet about his jealousy instead of making a whole deal about it, like fuck i love a mature, healthy dynamic, its so freaking cute

-> Night In by @tqmies

a dark fic, but its so good. i especially liked the fantasy element/twist on a common trope. everything about this is well written but the ending will give you some heebie jeebies (cant believe i just used that) its some fucked up shit 😭 um but b2l beomgyu!! (shoot me in the head)

-> A Recipe for Love by @tinietaehyun

who doesnt love a good old b2l beomgyu roommate fluff!?!?! it's soooo freaking cute i swear i never giggled so much 😭 this writer in general is very good with words and imagery, it's incredibly vivid.

-> how could you not know? by @angelbythewindow

have you noticed the pattern? yeah, it's another b2l. i LOVED the use of flashbacks here and the cute usage of the childhood "beanpole" nickname like shut up do you want me to die? the emotions here were OVERPOWERING. i felt everything beomgyu felt, felt everything mc felt, it was just sosososososo well written.

-> Why We (Don't) Work by @cafeseoulmate

haha. definitely not another b2l!!! i never included this on my other blog's rec list (bcs i dont think it was out at the time) but it is my most recent reblog on 4beomy so i'm fairly sure you've seen it. but regardless, for anyone else who's looking for beomgyu fics, please please please READ THIS. i wouldn't say it's a plot sort of story, it builds off of a lot of flashbacks and whatnot, but that's what makes it so great. like you get a feel for their relationship, why both characters just wouldn't work out (hence the title) but then the more you read the more you're like...alright... YOU KNOW?? like fuck, i almost teared up by the end it was such a cute love confession. a must read for all the bamtoris.

-> slam dunk, lover boy by @qqtxt

just absolutely cute stuff. check out everything from this blog, just binge, you're guaranteed fluffy cuteness. nothing really happens between the two here, but its still really cute and ykw i wanted some change here, so this is a sprinkle of e2l beomgyu

-> Stood Up by @imaginidol

okay, it's angst, i'll be straight up. but idk it was an enjoyable read, even though a little sad at the end 😭

-> Moonflower by @sleeping-sirens

really sweet short stuff, i love beomgyu i swear

-> somniferous confessions by @gyu-xiao

i don't usually read bulleted fics (this is the only one i've read actually 😭) but this is worth the read. i genuinely squealed a few times, giggled like tons, it was so adorable i loved it.

-> be my date by @blossom-hwa

honestly a little bit of a blur, i read this ages ago, but it's good because blossom hwa wrote it like trust me.

-> i know i love you by @universecorp

tried really hard to not include smut but this is definitely a little more plot driven than it is smut, it's sweet. a little angsty but i love it. smut at the end is definitely skippale, just concluding it as the fact that they made love is cute enough too 😭

-> check yes, juliet by @fairyofthestar

-> Yours Truly by @boba-beom

so so freaking cute. we're back with the b2ls but who cares, we all know it fits him so well!!!

-> old friend by @hueningshaped

a little bit of a spin on the fake dating trope and i love it. exes pretending to be lovers? hello? i'm so happy the ending wasn't hard hitting 😭

Fics I'm looking forward to read:

-> The Case by @tinietaehyun

not beomgyu centered but idk i love everything this person has written so far so i'm going to tackle this series. give it a read, i'm sure this'll give someone a good mindfuck since it is a detective series 😭

-> Ashen by @writingmochi

i think i might read this tonight actually, but yeah definitely check this one out. i can sniff out a great writer when i see one!!!!

-> Newsflash! by @ijhyo

teaser has me hooked, like everything about the secret identity...yeah, will wait on it.

-> This Love by @delacyrose224

ive always thought a beomgyu and taehyun love triangle would be a recipe for a perfect fic like… it just makes so much sense because theyre so different in personalities and that clash is just a perfect storm for a love triangle. so i will be reading 🙏 plus, it’s decently long! does it get any better?

Hopefully I got you covered for a couple of days anon 😭 I'll go back to reblogging recommended fics again once I get my shit together at uni, too many good writers out here 💔

#also howd you go through that fic rec list #90% of the links are broken 😭?!?!

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lesbiancarat · 1 year ago

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i finally finished exclusive fairytale and i want to give some thoughts/a review! (contains spoilers)

honestly modern school/coming of age dramas usually aren't my cup of tea, i wouldn't have picked up this type of drama if jun weren't in it. but i was determined to enjoy it for what it was even if it's not the type of story i usually find compelling, and i definitely did

i really appreciated the humor, i'm a sucker for 4th wall breaks and record scratch moments, even if it's kind of cheesy humor i thought it was well done. they didn't overdo it, i think they kept a good balance of humor and sincerity throughout the show

i also REALLY like how realistic most of the relationships felt in the show. a lot of dramas will create over the top/dramatic plots with big misunderstandings or jealousy or these very dramatic romantic moments that just don't happen to most people in real life. and there's nothing wrong with dramas that are like that, dramas are meant to be entertaining and dramatic plots make them so. but especially when it came to xiao tu and ling chao's relationship it felt really refreshing to see a very quiet and gentle romance that develops over the years

like after they got together they didn't dramatically change their personalities or how they acted around each other, even when other's commented how they weren't being "romantic enough". because they were already comfortable with each other from growing up together, and the drama just let them be comfortable in their relationship from the get-go. and how xiao tu kept "forgetting" she and ling chao were together at first when she was making plans, honestly that's a very realistic thing. like moving through the world as a single person is different, and you really do have to adjust your mindset and your habits to accommodate another person when you're in a couple and that switch doesn't flip overnight

and there were misunderstandings and moments of jealousy but they were all handled pretty realistically too. when xiao tu and ling chao had misunderstandings they would just talk about it and resolve it. and even between characters that had a conflict, like liking the same person (eg. ling chao and yin zihan or xiao tu and xu linglong) they were still able to be civil toward each other and even friends rather than treating each other as mortal enemies (and on the topic of xu linglong i won't spoil her character arc but i really appreciated how it ended up)

like there's a thousand other examples i could give but i really was very impressed with how realistic the relationships were. it really felt like the author was writing from experience and not writing an idealized version of a romance or over dramatizing it

the one relationship/plot point i didn't really like was the whole thing with ling chao's father. imo given the fact that ling chao's father as far as they told us had NO contact with him or his mom for like the first ~16 years of his life so he could start a business to support his family makes no sense to me. like why did he need to move out and cut off contact completely if he still cared for them and was doing it for their benefit? it would have made more sense to me if he was still living with them but wasn't a good father when ling chao was a kid bc he was busy with work. or if he was always on business trips, or making some effort to be a dad but failing bc it wasn't his priority. like it was an active choice for him to not contact his son for his entire childhood. or alternatively, the dad could have left when ling chao was a kid bc he fell out of love/separated from ling chao's mom and then have them fall back in love again when ling chao's in highschool. idk the motivation they gave him for being absent but apparently still being a really loving and invested dad just seemed like lazy and unrealistic writing. like i didn't need them to spend longer on that plot and i was fine with ling chao forgiving his dad relatively quickly bc that's not the main point of the show i just wish the logic behind him being an absent father for the first part of ling chao's life made a bit more sense lol

on another note, i've seen some people complaining about the dubbing, but from the perspective of a regular c-drama watcher, it's actually not bad. there were some scenes where the dubbing was more out of sync but it was all pretty standard. it's actually on the better end of dubbing i've seen. of course it's not the same/as ideal compared to not dubbing, but if you watch c-dramas it's just something you have to get used to lol

overall i don't think this show is super groundbreaking, but it is very well done for the coming of age, childhood friends to lovers show that it is. it's a really light and easy show to watch. not something with a lot of excitement but if you want a show that's relaxing and easy to digest then exclusive fairytale's got you covered!

#this isn't really a comprehensive review #it's more just a jumble of post-show thoughts #but here u go for anyone wanting to hear me ramble about eft #melia.eft

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pinkseas · 2 years ago

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(kicks the door down, fire surrounding me like a stage concert) I AM SAID AO3 USER COMMENT YOU WILL NEVER FIND MEEEEE I READ YOUR REPLY TO MINE AND BAWLED you get me you gget me so hard ao3 user anomaly98!!!!!!! (i did say in my comment i dug thru ur tumblr and here i am yet again)

not because i'm a prick not revealing myself thoughg i just have self esteem issues bc of liking qpr xiaolumi. yeah thas righrt i am shy of exposing that i dig this side of the r/s and i don't delve into the romantic one ever. prolly cus i'm an aromantic myself but like YOU KNOW- i just want to pop in to rlly emphasize the fics really do mean a lot to me in words you got it better described. that qpr in general has a different feel to intimacy and it fits them so nicely as people who are?? i guess, lonely but surrounded? (lumine to her friends who doesn't understand her enough, xiao to the adepti in that same matter, and the people of liyue who will never listen back to him), and here's another few disgustingly picky thing i got that your fics have that i tend to do in brainrotting it; most in lumine's pov and having her see through xiao's vulnerability firsthand. gosh that is so rare, you'd think bc he's always portrayed strong boi yaksha to protect the traveler all the time, but not in this perspective. and when yuou have her care for him both in the shower and bed just sends me straight face first into bed squealing crying blood of the consideration of ~~~~this whatever invisible distance~~~~ they have like its on lumine's condition to be aware of; she insists and ask first, and xiao is still allowed to say yes And no- and ~~~~this whatever closeness~~~~ xiao is reluctant to provide and its only to lumine's promptings in their friendship he accepts it, and felt warm enough to reach out if not in a ghostly touch.

very specifically, i love to see them not so in love with each other- i mean they can fall in love anytime (and in my interpretation they're a lot slower than yours in development but still a path to qpr eventually). i see their relationship as,... very fragile, but very grounding. its this small important part of their life they can shed their masks and be vulnerable like your recent fic to find each other's answers and resolve through it together because they're the Only two people of this world to understand (aside aether, aside all ppl xiao lost) that makes their dynamic so meaningful and i hope more ppl can see that side of them. ao3 user anomaly98 this is why YOU GET MEEEEEEEEE

deep breath.

if you do not wish to be found i will not search please know my inbox is always here i will welcome you with open arms <- pretend im saying this like Really Dramatically real somber real like. idk. like the way an ancient narrator begisn the story and reads the prophecy THAT kind of drama thats the vibe

its okay i would simply never assume u were a prick and i 100000% understand the insecurity that comes with enjoying certain aspects of ships and ESPECIALLY insecurity rooted in Being Aromantic and Enjoying Things In An Aromantic Sort Of Way like ive gotten way better its prob the only reason im able to write them how i want now but i ABSOLUTELY have been there i Understand

lonely but surrounded is SUCH a good way to put it. i genuinely do think lumine is close with a LOT of the others, i think she has a lot of trust and care for them, but its not the same. its not the same depth, not the same commitment, you're SO right comparing it to like. idk !!! idk. lumine once had aether who understood everything so easily and xiao had the other yakshas they both had a family, once, they both had people who understood, once, and now no matter who they love and trust in that matter they are alone. and that's something i love so much about the dynamic i envision for them, the fact that they're able to share such a unique loneliness, the fact that in not being understood by anyone around them they're able to understand each other. there's a level of distance and disconnect between them and those around them that doesn't exist with the other. its SO fucking important to me.

xiao is SO often depicted as being either a) very protective, strong, unbreakable etc or b) very vulnerable and fragile and i fairly often see fics of like. one of them protecting the other, almost? or less that but fics where the dynamic is Skewed, where one of them has the Role of protector and the other the Role of protected, where those roles are set in stone. and i think them being on the same wavelength, capable of protecting each other at any point, equally capable of either- that's so fucking important to me. it's not just that one of them is vulnerable, its that they're vulnerable with each other. it's not just that one of them will fight, it's that they'll fight for each other and fight together. it's equal. it's shared. so much between them is shared. their loneliness, their otherness, the unique way they feel about each other, their grief.

"i love to see them not so in love with each other" no bc this FUCKS. in my little brain i imagine it still takes time but i do definitely write it as being faster, and i think i imagine it as faster too? less rushing into it or any sense of need to be closer and more of just clicking so quickly, so easily, that what follows feels natural. "very fragile, but very grounding" is another REALLY good way of putting it your MIND oh my GOD!!!!!

idk just. for me so much of it is the small moments? sometimes when im walking out in the preserve the wind is cool and the air is fresh and the sun is warm and i think oh, this isn't so bad. this is lovely. and that's the kind of vibe i try to go for with them. contentedness over happiness, smaller gestures over grand ones. a quiet kind of love.

okay im losing my entire thought process idk that i had one to begin with admittedly but yknow. time to think about them for 120 billion years and never ever stop i wish iwasnt so tired id try writing more Literally Right Now. might try anyways and channel the sleepy into some sort of rly peaceful early morning/late night scene who knows

#parasocial bestie tag #<- that's you now until i come up w/ something better LMAO #xiaolumi #<- and THATS so i dont lose this

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1ntotheark · 11 months ago

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💤..

hi. take sorta angst-ish fanfic kalo and careful/Xiao ^_^ anyway!! here it is for you kalo and careful shippers!

before you read, this will give a slight spoiler for s. 7.. and i dont have all the names correctly so uhm! YAAAA (im so mentally stabled.) also, I will keep switching careful's name around from Xiao to careful.. enoy ig!!!

I swear i can write better than this.

...

The night goes by as Xiao/Careful watches the stars. Another night of mumbling to the stars, talking about his issues as if maybe.. It was Kalo. He sighs as he puts his hand up in the sky, wishing he was still here. It felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest everytime he thought about Kalo, a death he couldn't handle. As if for everyone else, they’ve already somehow moved on, but Careful, it only felt like the days have darkened even more. It felt lonely without Kalo, but he somehow always managed to bottle up the feeling and block it out of the way. Just keeping it all to himself until the night, talking to the stars. Smart and the others had already noticed something was off about Careful, especially the way he reacted after kalos death. They all knew that Xiao was the closest to Kalo, because of how careful made Kalo felt welcome to their home even after nearly killing Xiao, Kalo felt less lonely and called planet Xing his 2nd home. Careful actually felt like he had someone who understood him, not saying the others didn’t.. but he always felt left out, until kalo came around. Even within days, it already felt like Kalo and Careful had met for years. A smile that actually shows happiness without it being “weird” or ugly. A real smile.

Xiao closed his eyes as he sighed, hoping maybe kalo would just.. suddenly appear.

The silence had gotten loud.

“Careful.. Careful..!!!” A familiar voice said as they shook Careful, trying to wake him up. Xiao slowly opened his eyes, it was already morning..? Did Careful fall asleep..?? It seems like he slept pretty late last night.. he still felt tired as he slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, turning to the voice who had woken him up. Careful tries to make out who the figure was due to just waking up.

“Thank god you’re awake.. god, you fell asleep outside for the whole night! I was worried you might have gotten yourself sick or something.. how are you feeling right now?? Why the hell did you even decide to sleep outside..?” The familiar voice said as careful tried to make out who the figure was.. cyan flaming hair.. shades/glasses above his eyes (bro idk what they’re called 🙁).. gray skin tone.. blue eyes.. Xiao's eyes widened as he recognized the figure who was currently scolding him for falling asleep outside. Was this.. real? Xiao slowly tested up as he stared at the figure, quickly pulling the flaming hair figure into a hug.

The flaming hair figure goes quiet as he gets pulled into a hug. He was confused as if he had never seen Xiao act this way.

“..Huh—?? This is.. new..??? Man, are you ok??” The cyan flaming hair figure asked. Xiao on the other hand remains quiet for a moment before mumbling ‘is it really you.. Kalo..??’. Kalo only stared at Xiao, being even more confused as he slowly hugged Xiao back.

“Ya..??” Kalo responded before feeling Careful tightening the hug a bit. Kalo on the other hand only felt more concerned for careful as if he had never seen him act this way. Physical touch is definitely not Xiao’s things.. This was definitely something new and odd, though Kalo would only give a light smile before patting the SHORTER FIGURE on the back slowly. They both remain quiet for a moment. It felt like carefuls dream had come true. Kalo was back. He was still confused on how Kalo was back, but he didn’t want to question anything. The only thing Xiao wants right now is just to spend as much time with Kalo as possible.

“Is something wrong??.. Did you have a nightmare or something? You don’t normally act like this, not even to me.. I’m not saying that I’m currently not enjoying your hug, though it feels a little strange for someone like you to hug me??..” Kalo said as he continued to pat him on the back. Maybe this is a one time thing, who knows! Careful only remained quiet as the hug got a bit tighter. He felt like he was about to tear up, but managed to keep his feelings out of this moment. After about 5 mins of Kalo being concerned about the fact Xiao hugged him out of nowhere while remaining quiet, not answering any of his questions, Xiao finally pulled away from the hug.

“Anything you wanna do together today.?” Xiao mumbled as he looked away. Careful would often stay indoors in his room, just with his Rubik’s cube and Kalo (or maybe Kalo as a Rubik’s cube). Kalo only stared at Careful even more confused and concerned, but yet, also surprised, “You’re not acting like yourself today, are you sure you’re ok?? Are you one of Careful’s doubles???”. Careful looking up at Kalo as he shook his head and lightly chuckled, Xiao noticed that he was acting pretty off today too.

“Maybe it was all just a nightmare” Careful thought to himself as he remembered kalo’s death. He was relieved that it was all just some nightmare.

Kalo smiled as he listed off the things they could do,“Well anyway, to answer your question.. I don’t really have any plans today so hmm.. I know! We can train together right now for a bit before maybe going out on a walk!!! After that or maybe while walking, we can stop by somewhere to get a drink or snack!” Careful would just give a light smile and nod in response. Since they’re already outside, they’d only get in position, standing across from each other before getting ready to practice their skills

After the training and stuff, the both of them took a small break before heading out.

As they were walking on the street, Xiao’s facial expression remained the same, but as for Kalo, he was happily walking next to Xiao. Later, he took Xiao’s hand and held it, Careful’s eyes glanced down at their hand before looking at Kalo who was just walking happily. It caught Kalo’s attention that he was now looking at him.

“What? Am I making you uncomfortable or are you still not used to holding hands?” Kalo asked Careful, Xiao only continued to stare at them before the both of them stopped. Careful broke off the eye contact and remained quiet, making Kalo assume Xiao was actually uncomfortable and slowly let go.

Xiao’s grip tightened when Kalo was slowly letting go of his hand. Careful felt slightly embarrassed for wanting to hold hands with Kalo, so he tried to avoid looking at Kalo. Kalo was even more surprised, but he let out a light chuckle before they continued walking. At sudden points, Kalo would point out some interesting things happening on the street as they walked. Xiao remains silent, his replies would often be his expression on his face.

They later stopped by an ice cream shop and lined up for ice cream. While lining up, Kalo had to go use the restroom. Xiao tried to tell him to stay for a bit longer, but Kalo ran away a little too fast and went to the restroom. Careful was next up in line for ordering ice cream, he stared as the person in front of him finished ordering, now it was his turn..

The cashier first gave a quick welcome before asking what careful would like. Careful looked at the flavors as he waited and hoped kalo would come back soon. It’s been about 1 minute since Kalo was gone, he had decided what flavor he wanted, but right as he tried to order, he wasn’t able to form any sort of words. It was now looking like a staring contest between Xiao and the cashier. The silence only got louder as the cashier waited patiently, it felt like his anxiety had recently kicked in. Every second that passed by, it felt like it had only gotten worse, praying that Kalo would come back anytime now. Finally, about another minute passed by, Kalo quickly ran back in, now next to Careful and ordered and paid for the ice cream.

After paying and getting their ice cream, they walked out of the store with it. Kalo ordered a watermelon flavored ice cream, while careful had chocolate ice cream. As they continued to walk while holding hands and eating ice cream, they both heard someone scream. Careful quickly ditched everything and teleported his way there. Kalo on the other hand caught Careful’s ice cream and was deciding if he should ditch everything like careful or finish it and not waste money.. he couldn’t shove everything down because he wanted to eat with respect, but at the same time, someone’s life is in danger and they just brought the ice cream. It would be a waste of money..

When careful finally got to the location, a woman was being held hostage as a blade was pointed straight at her. The purple figure was the one holding her hostage and said he wanted to “challenge” a warrior named kalo.. he looked.. familiar.. it looked like he was also from planet Adri star/阿德里星. It suddenly hits him. The purple figure was the same guy who put kalos life at risk, nearly killing kalo on the day he died. Xiao felt his blood boiling, remembering what happened during the day Kalo died.. Strange how someone’s emotions swapped so fast, knowing what the hell someone was planning and quickly went to attack them. Was Xiao strong enough?

The purple figure noticed how Xiao suddenly appeared close to him as he was getting ready to punch him, though he dodged just in time. Xiao continued to teleport around, making duplicates of himself as anger rushed over him. The purple figure lightly chuckled before managing to figure out which one was the real careful, it looked like he looked over at someone before dodging away, catching Careful’s attention. Before careful could even glance over in the same direction, a poisonous blade-ish thing was thrown and cut him a bit in the arm. Careful tried to catch himself as he was falling from missing the attack, but the cut was suddenly burning. It felt like when you put alcohol over a scar, but even worse. That’s when Xiao remembered that the knife looking-like item was poisonous. PTSD hits hard, he soon realizes that if he doesn’t get up right now, things might end up like during the day Kalo died. He could hear the 2 figures talking and chucking at each other, but he couldn’t make out what it was.

Careful quickly gets himself back on his feets, getting ready to fight. He made duplicates of himself before they all charged at the 2, trying to attack them. Some of the duplicates manage to miss, but as for others, they were only able to hit the both of them a few times before getting hit or thrown. When careful was about to attack the purple figure while he thought they were distracted by the duplicates, he got caught real fast and was punched in the chest, his body nearly hitting a building wall but someone caught him.

“You should really take a break, I’ll take it from here.” Kalo said with a serious voice tone, but yet gave Xiao a light smile before gently placing him down. Careful’s eyes widened as he tried to stop Kalo from fighting, but Kalo quickly went into attack the 2 figures.. mainly the purple one. They both flew up into the sky and attacked each other. Careful quickly transformed and went to help kalo out by distracting the other figure who looked like a midget.. but ugly as hell.

As all 4 continue to fight, carefuls arm pain only got worse before being forced to put his “robot” away (ion even know what it’s called atp). The 2 fought with each other on foot, but only for carefuls body’s to weaken even more. More and more scars appeared, yet they were covered in poison. It only caught kalos attention as he fought the purple figure, kalo managed to knock him out for a moment before taking care of the midget figure (that’s what I’m gonna call him atp).

It looked like someone else also had a major anger issue once they saw their closest friend being injured badly. Kalo was NOT forgiving the midget for hurting his bf (best friend.. 100%) like that.

After Kalo took care of the midget, he turned back to look at careful who looked like he was about to pass out. The purple figure chuckled as he morph his hand to the laser beam shooter and slowly powered it up, getting ready to shoot.

“Say bye bye!” The purple figure smiled. Right as he fired, Xiao quickly dropkicks him, causing him to miss. kalo quickly flew over there and tackled that man to the ground. Kalo sighs as he knew his time was coming close due to how much energy he used while fighting with this purple thing. He glances over to careful as Careful’s eyes widen in fear. Praying it isn’t what he thinks is about to happen. Kalo took off his shades/glasses and left it on the floor, while careful on the other hand couldn’t do anything due to the poison reaction.

“No.. Nono Nono..” careful quietly mumbled as kalo flew up in the sky to space while holding the other bitch in a choke hold. Careful begins to tear up a bit as he remembers what happened.. how kalo died. A panic rushed over him as he tried to get up, but his body was too weak for it. He stared at kalo who was already pretty high up, before an explosive sound occurred.

Xiao sat up quickly, now in his room and on his bed. He was sweating a lot before holding his head and shaking it. What a horrible, but yet, nice nightmare.

Careful was hugging his kalo plush as teared up a bit as he breathed heavily, it felt like he just had an out of body experience from his dream. Smart was standing by the door, admiring his beautiful self as always and soon realized careful had woken up. He calmly walked over to Xiao who for once looked like he was about the cry.

“Are you ok?? I found you passed out on the floor outside this morning..” Smart ask. Careful looked over to smart before taking a deep breath in and bottles up the feeling again. He only replied with a nod and looked over at Smart, who seemed pretty concerned for Careful. One moment he looked like he was about to cry, but then the next moment he managed to just push the feeling aside as if that never happened.

“You know, it’s ok to express yourself right? We all know that Kalo’s death had a huge impact on you and how ‘strange’ you’ve been acting lately. You don’t have to keep everything to yourself, maybe sometimes you just.. need to let it all out, Xiao..” Smart said as he sat on Careful’s bed. Careful only broke off eye contact with Smart and stayed quiet, staring at his bedsheet and hugged his kalo plush tightly. He didn’t know how to respond, but the only thing he could do was nod.

“Just call me when you need anything..” Smart gave a light smile as careful glanced up at him. It reminded him of Kalo.

Smart got up and walked out of the room, slowly closing the door. As soon as smart walked out, careful opened his drawers and took out Kalo’s glasses/shades.

“I hope you’re in a better place now, maybe one day we’ll meet again in a 2nd life. Still wish you were still here instead of dreaming about you.” Xiao mumbles as if his dreams were the only way he could feel like kalos by his side again.

🌃end.

tags,, ignore.

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aminiatureworld · 3 years ago

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Leaden Dreams

Characters: Albedo, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 1,908

Warnings: Vague depictions of sleep paralysis

Premise: In which the reader experiences sleep paralysis

Author’s Note: First time writing Kazuha! I just finished his story quest today, so I hope that I have an okay grasp on him. Still working on his talking style a bit but I adore his personality.

Also though I experience the part of sleep paralysis where you’re awake but can’t move (can’t recommend the experience) it’s usually during the day so I don’t really experience dreams. As of such if this is inaccurate in any ways I’m very sorry.

Albedo

Albedo knew about sleep paralysis on a theoretically level, knew that it was a phenomenon that caused one’s brain to awaken when the body was still fast asleep. He’d never given the concept much thought, not any more than he might any other bit of science that remained shelved in his mind.

Now that was certainly not the case.

Albedo knew the telltale signs, the small spasms that revealed the battle between your mind and your body. Knowing that you were fighting to move your limbs, open your eyes, relax your jaw, he would always speak first, knowing that you might not immediately respond.

“It’s alright my dear, I’m here. I know it’s frightening, but I promise you’ll be able to move soon. Just focus on one thing, alright? Maybe your eyes this time, since last time you tried moving your tongue. That’s it, just one thing first. It’s always better to start small.”

He wouldn’t move from his sleeping position until you regained control of your body, afraid that a sudden touch might cause you even more distress. Keeping himself carefully pressed into the mattress he didn’t fare lift his head, for fear his face might melt into something frightening. Since he knew he was helpless, his goal became to stop things from getting worse.

The moment you began to move however the alchemist would jump into action. Turning lights on he would pick up the glass of water from his nightstand before gathering you up into his arms, positioning himself so you could listen to his heartbeat as you drank. The first time it had happened he had left the room to get the glass to soon, and the memory of you curled up desperately into the covers still tugged at him.

Albedo would then go through what you had half-dreamed with you, thoroughly debunking all the distortions of your normal life. That shadowed human outside the window was a combination of the balcony and the half opened curtains. The voices were partially his own, partially your brain trying to process your own breathing. The figure hiding behind the door of the hallway was because of the boxed piled along the other side of the wall. The people dancing on the ceiling could be fixed with a repaint. Over and over he would remind you of the fact that you were safe, that your amygdala was simply going into overdrive. Over and over he would thoroughly debunk your nightmares until once more things settled into place, piles of clothing becoming one more fabric, dressers no longer dancing as if possessed.

He would tell you to wake him up if he began falling back to sleep, determined that he should be watching over you to make sure an episode didn’t happen as you were falling back asleep.

In reality though you didn’t mind if he drifted off a little before you. His breathing was a soothing melody, his slow, steady heartbeat a rhythm with which you could anchor yourself. He was staid and sure, and that was something you grasped onto desperately, something you would never stop appreciating.

Soon enough his reasons would soothe your mind, and you’d fall once more asleep.

Kazuha

The first thing Kazuha always did was pull the blankets over you. If the outside world was threatening you, then he’d simply block it out.

Making a cocoon around the two of you he would begin to tell stories. Fairy tales, things that had happened to him during his travels, anything that you brain might latch onto. The stories were always very short and self-contained, easy to understand, and through your panic addled brain you always seemed to find them.

Sometimes when things were particularly bad he’d softly cradled your hands, careful not to move to quickly or too suddenly in case the sensation caused you to panic even more.

“Our hands fit together so well, don’t you think? I could write a poem about them, or maybe about yours. Maybe you’ll help me with it after this is over? It will be soon dearest, I know it will.”

Sometimes he would sing little songs that he’d picked up. Usually sea shanties, their rhythm helped you, less complex than poetry, more lyrical than the jagged fear that screamed at you.

Kazuha wouldn’t ask you to share immediately. When you finally moved he would first squeeze your hands gently, kissing them before your forehead, asking if it was too hot beneath the blankets, then making sure a light was on if you needed a little fresh air.

He never acknowledged what had happened before you did, but he wouldn’t pretend like it didn’t happen either. Instead he would ask if you wanted to listen to a story or tell one. Whichever you chose he would keep holding your hands, making sure that even when he gave you space there was still something that grounded you.

Sometimes when you cried he would tell a very specific story.

“There once was a warrior, brave of heart. So brave were they that shadows tried to chase them. Someone this noble cannot exist! They cried out. The warrior must be false. We will find their weakness. However no matter how hard they tried this weakness was never found. For the warrior was truly brave in heart and soul.”

Normally you might consider such a story overdone, but in those liminal moments between fear and sleep the story format helped. This was simply a harrowing part of a story, but there would surely be a better end.

Scaramouche

Scaramouche never thought that he’d ever sleep next to you.

Humans were loud and irritating, and that only became more true when the Harbinger was trying to get a few precious hours of sleep.

However after a particularly bad week he decided that the only solution to your terrible lack of attention was to deal with the matter himself.

He wasn’t necessarily nice about it, grumbling about your poor sleeping habits, saying that this was an awful waste of time. However the moment that panic consumed you, the moment that things started to twist around you, you felt a sudden hand on your arm.

“These idiotic phantoms are nothing. Come on, I know you’re strong enough. How could you ever let something so puny win against you.”

Though you certainly didn’t agree with him about that you had to admit it helped somewhat. Though your initial panic never disappeared, it became easier to climb out of your dreams, to see a light at the end of the endless tunnel of fear.

Every time you jerked once more awake Scaramouche let himself admit some sort of relieved satisfaction.

“You’ve done it again. As you always have. I don’t know why I bother sleeping here when you’re competent enough on your own.”

Nevertheless Scaramouche would always let you embrace him, not commenting on the tears that often accompanied you. Loosely resting his arms on your back he let out exaggerated breaths.

“Will you sleep now?”

It didn’t matter if you said no. Scaramouche would simply mutter something about bad sleep habits, but he would nevertheless stay awake.

He would always fall asleep last, even when his eyes burned slightly and his body called out for rest.

If he was going through all this trouble after all, he might as well see it through to the end.

Xiao

Xiao saw dreams as extensions of human karma, of human wants and needs and wishes.

If a human dreamt a good wish, it was a revelation of their hearts desire. If they tossed and turned with nightmares it was their fears and shames manifesting. A dream was never just a dream, a shuffle of random events and names and faces. Dreams were alive; dreams had their own wills, all connected to the will of the human they were attached too.

Xiao loathed to see you haunted by your dreams. How could someone so wonderful as your be chased by something so awful? The little that you told your partner caused a distant sort of dread. He could never understand your fear of falling asleep, but he surely felt the dread of whether or not you might be allowed peace.

The threads that surrounded you, that surrounded all humans, always tensed when you were entering an episode. Careful not to leave your side too much Xiao would light a few candles, not too much to be jarring to your eyes, not too little to add to your nightmares. If you could only open your eyes then Xiao would pay even more attention, making sure that the dim lighting didn’t add to your distress, shifting the candles or blowing them out if need be.

Xiao didn’t talk much normally, but he would keep up a steady stream of questions in these moments, even if you couldn’t answer them. Whether you were aware of his presence, whether the window being open was a problem or not, whether you needed more light or less. He would keep these questions in the back of his mind for you to answer once you could again, not only so he could do better next time, but in case the nightmares we too close to be spoken about.

Usually Xiao would ask about them again in the morning, and sometimes you would discuss it then. Though the yaksha knew that nightmares were often the fears that humans accumulated, the curses that attached themselves to unsuspecting victims, he never talked about that aspect with you, indeed when he talked about it at all. Most of the time he would just listen, tracing soft circles along your back and down your arms.

Right after an episode Xiao would make his way over to you. Most of the time he would stay in one place while the episode was happening, near the candles or by the window, making sure he didn’t startle you anymore. Now though he might move every once in a while, or turn your head softly towards him if your eyes became fixated on one spot in the room. Always he’d go to open the window, and the familiarity of the routine became something that lulled you back into a sense of piece.

Not sleeping himself Xiao never told you that you need more rest, that you should go back to sleep. If you needed to stay up the rest of the night so be it, he would be there with you. If you were too tired and found yourself drifting off to sleep he would promise to protect you, to fight off any demons that might be lurking.

Sometimes Xiao feared that his burden of curses exacerbated your sleep paralysis. Those evenings he would wait for you to sleep before slipping away. Always he would leave his sleeve and his mask, making sure that if you woke up you would still have something of his presence to comfort or protect yourself with. Those nights he would stare out into Liyue and think about all the things that he carried with him, all the things that you did too.

Regardless of those nights he would be there in the morning.

“Did you sleep well afterwards?” He would always ask. Regardless of your answer, which he would surely pay attention to after his second question, he would stare into your eyes.

“Do you think things would be easier without my presence?”

Always you said no.

#idk why but I enjoyed writing xiao especially for this #not that I did love all of these this is such a good prompt #genshin impact fanfiction #albedo x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #scaramouche x reader #genshin albedo #kaedahara kazuha #genshin scaramouche #genshin xiao #genshin impact #scenarios #headcanons #very short scenarios lol #requested #my writing

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megistusdiary · 2 years ago

Note

I’m not sure if you’ve written for Xiao yet… but I’m always curious of how people interpret his.. libido to say the least, considering he’s an adeptus and doesn’t feel emotion the same way humans do.

Maybe a shy Xiao were he’s not really sure HOW to ask reader to sleep with him so he tries to give “subtle” hint but they really aren’t as subtle as he thinks.

BTW I love your writing ahhhh

(Can I claim an emoji.. idk how that works tbh I never leave asks so if I can… could I be like, 🥀 anon?? Thanks!!! 💜)

hi there! of course you can be 🥀 anon, welcome to my page :D i'm also very happy you like my writing ♡♡♡ tysm for reading

also i have actually only written two pieces for xiao which are as follows:

1) jealous dom xiao

2) consensual somno with dom xiao

i like to think that xiao doesn't know much about sex except that when done between a male and female, you can create another human sometimes

he doesn't really understand the love-making part of intercourse, so i have an idea of who he would try to ask lol

honestly this has a lot of plot. i have been writing so much these past few days, phew! when i have the time, i am a writing machine haha

warnings: switch!xiao and switch!fem anatomy/pronouns reader

nervous xiao, handjob (xiao receiving), lots of touching/making out lol, first-time sex for both of you :) , lube, fingering/penetration (reader receiving), soft ♡, kissing, baizhu is here but just as a side character because i ♡ him

the leather-bound book sat heavy on your desk in xiao's memory, unable to remove itself from his thoughts.

slightly worn around the edges and held closely to your face while you read it, lips thoroughly bitten. you seemed to think you were so sly when you hid that book behind you whenever he mentioned it.

so it was unusual that he had found it on your desk, for once unguarded by your form. xiao innocently opened the unlabeled cover to see what you had been reading so intently this week.

barely a few sentences in to the page, he immediately realized this was some type of erotic book. he was unfamiliar with some of these terms, purely from a lack of knowledge of human intimacies.

when he finally reached the end of the page, he snapped out of his trance, slamming the book shut with so much force it scattered the pages of your report to the floor.

never had the yaksha been more thoroughly embarrassed, cheeks stained red as he clutched his head.

he knew humans were odd, but he had never seen such a crude book. he never pegged you for the type to be interested in such things. how could one want to read about the act of producing a child?

odd.

perhaps that's how xiao ended up seeking out a personal consultation with the popular pharmacist from bubu pharmacy.

as uncomfortable as it was, the doctor was happy to make his acquaintance, keeping an even-toned expression when he welcomed the yaksha in after hours.

"i understand these concepts might be unfamiliar to you, though i mean no disrespect. these types of things are different from public displays of affection, and they aren't so easily written in literature."

xiao begged to differ based upon that book you left out so haphazardly on your desk for anyone to see.

he allowed the doctor to explain things in the most scientific way possible, trying to remain calm and collected until the yaksha suddenly held up a hand to stop him.

"i...appreciate your effort, but i already understand the act of procreation. i just don't..comprehend why humans seem to enjoy it so much."

baizhu paused, determining the best way to answer the question before he finally understood why xiao really wanted to see him. "i see. you're asking about why lovers like it so much." baizhu barely stifled a chuckle. "to be honest, it's been a while since i have done that myself, but it isn't so much about the act itself."

"how so?"

"it's about being vulnerable with someone. allowing them to see all of you while you see all of them. it's hard to let ourselves be open with everyone, especially if we have a particularly traumatic past. it can lead to becoming guarded." xiao frowned at this. "but, when you're with someone special, a normally uncomfortable situation becomes tender. intercourse becomes love-making." baizhu scratched the back of his neck, wondering if any of this was even sticking. "ah, i'm sorry if-"

xiao abruptly stood, silencing the doctor. "no need to apologize. i understand now. thank you for your time, doctor."

"oh, before you go-" baizhu stood up slower than xiao, reaching behind the counter to collect a small brown bag. "it might not be my place, but i always see mr. zhongli from the wangsheng funeral parlor here collecting peculiarly strong medicine for someone in liyue. it might be presumptuous of me, but, here." he held the bag out towards xiao. "it'll save mr. zhongli a trip here."

xiao gingerly took the bag, holding it in one palm before practically vanishing before baizhu's eyes. the pharmacist smiled to himself, shaking his head before locking up the pharmacy doors and heading home.

it had been a few days since then, and after continuous thinking, he finally decided it was the right time to ask you to do this with him.

you seemed to thoroughly enjoy that book, so surely, it would be even better to experience the real thing, no?

although, xiao had no idea how to bring this to your attention without sounding crude. why was he so nervous about something so simple? he was a yaksha. why were trivial human matters frightening to him?

when you finally came home that evening, you were surprised to see xiao waiting for you, standing in the doorway at attention, watching you almost drop your bag.

"oh, xiao-" you held a hand over your heart, laughing to yourself. "you scared me a little there."

you walked past him, opting to unpack your bag as xiao focused his steel gaze upon your form. "i don't know if you're hungry or not, but i brought your favorite." you turned, holding the container of almond tofu with a big grin.

you expected to see the usual hint of a smile on his own lips, though he seemed to remain neutral as you frowned slightly. "hey, is something wrong?" you started to feel concerned, worried you had upset the yaksha.

xiao clenched his fists as he huffed. "it's nothing. i appreciate the gesture."

you deflated a bit, causing xiao to feel that slight burn in his chest. guilt, he assumed. "alright, sure. i'll leave it here for you." you set the container back on the counter, rubbing your eyes as you put the rest of your things away.

xiao could take it no longer, wishing desperately to get this idea out of his head. "i read your book." he softly blurted out as you slowly turned towards him on your heels.

"what book-"

"the book."

"oh..." you fell silent, face feeling hot as you coughed. "well, i am, uh, sorry for traumatizing you with that, so...yeah." you averted your eyes, screaming at yourself inside your head. how could you forget to put that book back under your pillow? xiao was definitely going to disappear forever now. well done.

"do you want to try...that."

your eyes practically popped out from your skull, covering your mouth. "try what now?"

"intercourse. with- me."

xiao's face was as red as a tomato as you stared at him shocked. "i knew this was a foolish idea, i apologize for offending you. this is an insult to-"

"no!" you yelled out, moving your hands to his shoulders. "no, no, no you're misunderstanding!" you shook your head. "xiao, do you really mean it? you'd try it? with me?"

xiao nodded once, surprised by your overdramatic reaction. was it really as good as baizhu explained it to be?

he also wondered if his karmic debt would weigh too heavily on you for a moment before you gasped, shaking his shoulders with your excited gestures.

"oh, xiao, i...i wanted to ask you for a really long time. i just- i thought you'd never want to. and i never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable." you explained as xiao finally understood.

so you did want to create a child with him? to be honest, he wasn't quite sure if it was even possible, though he had heard stories of half adeptus children in liyue, namely that very popular lawyer woman.

"i'm willing to try." xiao nodded. he allowed you to excitedly lead him to the bedroom, stumbling over your own feet as you pulled him to the bed.

"there's really no need to be nervous." you told him sweetly, cradling his face between your palms as he willed himself to relax.

you were correct, and he hated to admit that a human was more wise than him.

you slowly leaned forward. "is this okay?" you questioned, noses nearly touching as he nodded, staying still and allowing you to approach him. you carefully pressed your lips to his, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones as you smiled into his mouth.

xiao's eyes fluttered shut as he allowed you to guide him, keeping his hands at his sides, awkwardly clutching at the blankets. you gently pulled away, feeling him lean forward to chase your lips before catching himself and opening his eyes.

you reached towards his hands now, holding them gently and placing them on your waist as you climbed into his lap. "there, that's better." you commented, kissing him deeper, swiping your tongue across the seam of his lips.

shockingly, xiao seemed to understand this gesture, parting his lips and allowing you to slide your tongue into his mouth. he seemed to find this sensation odd, gripping your hips a little tighter when you shifted against him.

he felt warm when you moved over his hips, pressing your weight down onto him as he groaned, feeling the strange sensations.

you smirked, grinding down against him as he leaned away, panting with spit-slicked lips as you held onto his shoulders tighter. "does that feel good?" you asked as his eyes closed once more, eyebrows furrowing. you giggled a little before stopping, hips growing tired before you suddenly let out a soft moan when xiao started moving your hips for you.

it was easy to forget his inhuman strength when he looked so soft. his grip was tight as he moved you at his leisure, inexperienced yet curious.

"have you- done this before?" you asked him, feeling warmth building in your core as xiao shook his head.

"never." he answered before pulling you against him once more, trembling a bit. "have you?" from the way you spoke and read it so freely, he was shocked to see you shyly shake your head.

"no...i was waiting for the right person." you admitted sheepishly. "i wanted it to be special." you smiled up at him, kissing his cheek.

xiao realized you were talking about him, making it feel like he had crystalflies in his stomach.

"here, i want to try something." you moved off his lap, opting to tug at the waistband of his pants. "we both take off some clothes so it isn't as awkward, okay?"

xiao was perplexed when he watched you shyly pull of your jacket. "i assumed it was normal to strip during this act. is it not natural?"

"huh?"

"being nude. why would you be uncomfortable with the idea?"

you paused, mouth opening and closing as you tried to think of an excuse. in that time, xiao took it upon himself to fully strip. "i have no shame in this form. i took it many years ago in honor of my savior. it is something of pride and loyalty. your form is to be respected." xiao reminded you as your eyes widened.

"well...okay." you took a deep breath, removing the rest of your clothing to match xiao as he carefully folded the fabric, placing it on the chair near the bed. "come here." you gestured as he moved towards you. "lean against the headboard."

xiao did as you commanded, feeling your gaze burn against his skin when you trailed your eyes down his body. you stopped just above his groin, feeling embarrassed as you leaned forward.

"oh! i almost forgot, i actually had something, well uh...just in case." you laughed nervously, reaching over to your nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of liquid.

"what is that?"

"it's supposed to make it easier by making your skin more slippery." you explained, uncapping the bottle to pour some on your fingers. "it'll feel much better with this. or so i've heard."

"from who?"

"...sources."

you ignored xiao's huff, carefully tracing a finger along his shaft as his hips jumped. "sensitive." you smiled, feeling his thighs go tense as you swirled your finger around the tip, playing with the slit as his cock slowly grew harder, leaning up against his stomach.

you moved your hand around him, carefully stroking in a gentle motion as he let out a groan from the slick sounds of your hand on his skin. "it...feels good, but strange-" xiao's hands clenched on the sheets as you moved your hand up and down, using the other hand to play with his heavy balls as he gasped.

as expected, he didn't last long, reaching his first orgasm quickly, coming all over your hand and his stomach, feeling sticky on your fingers as you gently eased him through his orgasm. he relaxed against the headboard, watching as you smiled to yourself.

the expression slowly faded when you realized he was still hard...?

"what- xiao, that's...weird? that's not supposed to happen."

xiao looked perplexed. "i thought humans are capable of enduring multiple orgasms."

"i mean, yeah, with breaks- they don't just keep going-" xiao cut you off by pulling you towards him, pressing your body to his.

"what do i do to return this favor?"

"well, i guess the equivalent would be fingering me? i'm not really sure about that though because-!" xiao reached his hand down to press against your wet cunt, feeling your hips jump against his touch. "xiao, hold on, i'm sensitive-"

he pressed his free hand against your fingers, collecting the leftover lube to press against your cunt, rolling his fingers over the skin messily. "xiao, there's a specific way to do it." your cheeks burned. "i'll show you." with one hand, you gripped his shoulder, the other reaching down to wrap around his wrist, feeling around for your clit until you positioned his finger pads just right.

"oh- there." you sighed, moving his fingers in circles as you moved your hips to match the motion.

"is this...adequate?"

"very," you laughed breathlessly. "but, i need you to do something else for me too."

"anything."

"before we try to put your...you know in me, i need to be, how should i say this, stretched out? they say it really hurts the first time...and i guess i'm just a little nervous because-"

"i promise i won't let anything hurt you." you were taken aback by xiao's sudden oath, looking deep into your eyes as your lips parted. "tell me what i need to do."

you carefully moved his hand down towards your hole, allowing him to feel for himself. "here?" he asked.

"yeah, just press in but be gentle, please." you whimpered as he dipped the tip of his index finger in, gently pushing as you shifted uncomfortably. "feels weird."

xiao stayed silent, eyebrows furrowed by the strange texture around his finger. it was tight, yet soft, wet, and warm as you sucked the digit in. he stuck another next to it, feeling you grip his shoulder tightly, hand falling from his wrist as you dug your nails into his bicep. "archons-"

he continued to push the digits in and out, sometimes moving his fingers a bit. he recalled baizhu explaining some of this. he called it 'fingering' or something along the lines. a fitting name indeed.

eventually you stopped him, gesturing for him to remove his fingers as he frowned. "is something wrong?"

"no, no, i just- i think i'm ready." you took a deep breath as he nodded.

he positioned his tip at your entrance, watching you worry your lip between your teeth as you felt it slowly enter you, tensing your body as he hissed.

"don't do that-" he groaned, grabbing your hips. "relax your muscles, it's too...tight."

you tried to relax, eyes tearing up slightly. it was not as excruciating as you expected, though the stretch did burn, and once you finally got through the hard part, xiao paused.

he allowed you to lean on him, taking shallow breaths as he smoothed a hand down your back. baizhu told him to be patient. he explained you would need time to adjust, that it could be painful taking something in your body this way.

xiao was glad he listened, finally feeling your heartbeat slow as he gently soothed you, albeit stiffly.

"are you okay?" he asked, feeling you nod against his shoulder. he carefully moved his hips experimentally, feeling you clutch your arms around his neck for stability, still pressed to his chest as he hummed, picking up the pace gradually.

you allowed him to buck into you at different angles, feeling him shiver as you kissed at his neck, humming into his skin.

"ah-" you suddenly arched when he hit your g-spot unexpectedly, eyes closing as xiao looked concerned. "that was- good, that was a good spot and-"

he pressed into it again, maintaining the angle of his hips as you trembled. "no, no, i'm gonna come if you keep doing that, xiao." you panicked, though he paid no mind, hearing going static as he continued to fuck up into you. "xiao-" you whined as he held you close to him.

he felt your soft breaths on his skin, hair tickling his neck as you suddenly jolted. "oh- i'm close, i'm really close, xiao, xiao-" you moaned lowly, desperately holding back.

"why are you afraid to experience orgasm?" xiao asked, breaking you from your stupor.

"huh?"

"why?"

"you...i need to keep up with you, xiao. if i- fuck, if i come now...you won't get to and i-"

"i don't mind." xiao admitted, focusing on the feeling of you squeezing around him. "i wanted to know what this was like. i didn't understand why humans were so fond of such things."

he reached down with a hand, sliding it down your stomach to press into your clit as you gasped. how did he remember where-

right. yaksha.

he had you trembling against him, orgasm washing over you as you went slack, leaning onto him and crying out his name as he shuddered, leaning back as you continued to squeeze him oh so tightly.

you felt blissed out as you slowly regained your senses, vision coming back to you as you smiled up at him.

your body still felt tingly, limbs numb as he slowly slid out of you. xiao could tell you were out of it, eyes hazy as he leaned down to kiss your head tenderly.

perhaps human intimacies weren't all completely useless.

#🥀─ 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 ˚ૢ⋆˚#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #xiao smut #xiao #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #switch xiao #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚#✎─𝘥𝘪��𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚

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cherrypiss101 · 3 years ago

Text

thigh holding brainrot

summary: holding their thigh while driving

warnings: thigh holding, hand holding, established relationship, making out (hu tao, tartaglia & yae miko), hand kissing

other: modern au, theres cars, mentions of phones, list of characters doesn’t have an order, they’re hopelessly in love with you idk what to tell you

honestly didn’t think i would write this much, i got a little distracted

ei’s is shit by the way i’ll probably rewrite it

-☁️

diluc: he’ll be surprised, pleasantly, but still shocked none the less. he’ll try to play it off like he wasn’t and place his hand over yours, thumb caressing your knuckles. he’ll eventually pull your hand up to kiss it but he’ll lay it back down because he realized how much he enjoyed having your hand rest on his thigh. so much so it became routine, if you don’t put your hand on is thigh he’ll reach over for it and place it on his and look out the window until the blush on his face cools to look back at you with a feeling he’s only beginning to understand

hu tao: she’s been holding your thigh every time she drives so the one time you drive and put your hand on hers, she’s excited! she’s always wanted you to do so and now that you’ve done it yourself, she cant help but smile as she stares out the window. of course she’ll tease you about it later but all in all she’ll just want to kiss you all over. she starts to let you drive more after that, just wanting to draw little swirls on your hand and tell you about all the things she’s going to do that day

zhongli: he’s not one to show a lot of affection in public or around other people which is why you don’t take for granted the gentle touches he gives you, which includes holding your thigh. whether he’s driving or you are, there’s a good chance he’ll put a hand out for your thigh. which is why you decided to share the affection. when he felt your hand he though you were reaching for his hand only to look up from his phone to see you were not at all near his hand. he was a little confused but brushed it off as you just wanting to be close so he reaches down and puts his hand over yours with a squeeze and continues on his phone

xiao: the first time it happens he went ridged, he wasn’t at all expecting you to do such a thing. he’s still trying to get a hold of just being im a relationship with you much less showing affection. when you felt him stiffen you immediately retracted your hand as you had thought you made him uncomfortable until he pulls your hand back and holds it over his legs. he wont look at you just your hands, but you’re proud none the less that he’s starting to step out of his shell

ningguang: she doesn’t usually show a lot of physical affection preferring to show you her love with words and gifts. that, however, does not mean she doesn’t like to hold or touch you. often times she’ll steal a quick kiss when you or her are working, or she’ll cuddle with you at night, but when it comes to car rides she’s more distracted with her destination than with what’s happening in the car. she’s usually the one driving, so when you put your hand on her thigh she thinks you’re trying to get her attention. which she will dismiss right away as she prioritizes safety over all else, especially when you’re with her, but when you get to a red light your hand still on her thigh she realizes that you weren’t trying to get her attention, you just wanted to be close, so she’ll quickly squeeze your hand in hers as she brings it to her lips for a quick kiss before the light turns green and her eyes back on the road. after that she lets you hold her thigh more often

tartaglia (childe): this man loves physical affection, i mean will fall over himself loves physical affection. no matter what it is, if it’s just a little peck on the cheek or a hand on the small of his back, anytime anywhere he’s done. which also includes the car, he’ll often hold your hand or thigh while he drives or even if you’re driving. he lives for the small things. so when you finally return the favor he’s ecstatic, he literally can not handle himself he’s so happy. he’ll put his hand on yours and rub and trace on it until you get to your destination. where you finally park and he’s yanking you over the console to hold you so tight and kiss you. he’ll make you late to where ever you’re going, but its okay because it’s him. he’s touch starved what can i say

kaeya: this is nothing new, you both have been doing this since the start of your relationship. but no matter how long you both have been doing this, it never gets old. he’ll still get a flutter in his heart every time your hand slides over. he loves to drive just because he gets to see you looking out the window with your hand on his thigh as he drives through the night or when it’s too early in the morning and you’re still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as he holds your thigh at a red light and gives you a little kiss to your head before turning away to watch trafic

yae miko: she absolutely holds your thigh in the car. she’ll tease you about it the first time because of how flustered you got and out of retaliation you held hers the next day. she didn’t flustered per say but she was shocked that you’d try to get back at her so soon. she was impressed, a smug smile appeared on her face then as she pulled into a deserted parking lot. she’d kiss and tease you about how she was surprised by your sudden forwardness. when it became a regular thing of you both switching holding the others thigh, she’s over run with joy, though she hides (and well), she’ll always give your hand so many kisses before laying it back in its place on her thigh

ei (raiden shogun): she’s not used to affection so she doesn’t really show it very much, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. which is why you do most of the affection giving, she’ll pitch in sometimes but is still getting used to giving and receiving affection. so when you put your hand on her thigh, she’s confused, you’d never done this before. while you both have exchanged kisses, hugs and cuddles, you’ve never put your hand on her thigh like this, so nonchalantly. she’s surprised by how much she enjoys the affection. the next time you’re in the car she asks you to do it again

jean: she’s affectionate in a reserved way. she’ll shower you in kisses in private but will often only hold your hand or give you short kisses in public. she considers the car a “public” place as people can pear in and see you both so she usually keeps affection under wraps if you’re not home. but driving on a long road trip with hardly anytime to cuddle her and getting restless, you place a hand on her thigh lightly, gauging her reaction and surprisingly all she did was look up from her phone, place her hand over yours, and smile at you. happy you both were pleased with the silent agreement you turn back to the road and continue driving

venti: he puts his hand everywhere, sometimes it’s out of love or affection, or trying to get your attention or just plain wanting to tease and mess with you. he always teases you about how cute you are when you lean into his touch. of course he loves the attention back, he loves when you give him your attention. which is why he doesn’t like driving very much, so to cope he’ll hold your hand and give you kisses in between lights to make up for it. when you return the affection by gently rubbing his thigh, he thinks he fell in love all over again

albedo: while he may not show his affection through many words, he’ll show it through his art and small touches. he loves to sit and listen to how your day went on the drive home and after telling him about everything you place your hand on his thigh and look up at him eager to know how his went. no matter how many times you do this, he still gets surprised. he’ll naturally move his leg more into your touch as he tells you about his day, still not being able to get enough of your affrction

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dumbkatsu · 3 years ago

Note

.......hello!

once again, your writing is a m a z i n g :)

may i request......any hcs to your liking,,,but with qi rong...? i haven't seen people request somethin for him on Tumblr yet?

[you don't have to do this request, if you don't want to-]

-anon, who managed to somehow misspell 'xie lian' in a request.

Hello again anon!!

kdfvhgdif it's ok it abt the misspelling happens to the best of us dw.

OMG, you really know how to stimulate my brain juice and bring me a new challenge!!! I've never written for a character like qi rong, let's do it!

I'm just gonna do some hc bcs idk how this will work out. I'm just gonna go with the flow but I'm excited to do this!!

TW: panic attack

Ok so this ancestor has the tagged tsundere slapped on his forehead so imma add a bit of that.

So you met when you were delivering water chestnuts to puqi shrine

Xie Lian wasn't present at the moment, only qi wrong, gu zi, and Lang Ying.

The two kids were playing outside and when they noticed you Gu Zi led you inside so you could put the heavy bag near the kitchen.

You heard some muffled screams and when you turned around a man was tied by some white bandages and he was thrashing violently

You approached him carefully and gently removed a strip from his mouth

Safe to say that qi rong was a bit held back because no one had touched him as gently as you in a long time

Especially in such a delicate place.

Your hands were softer than the most vibrant orchid petals. And your single touch so gentle

The feeling was fleeting and so his stunned face quickly changed to his usual demeanor

"WHAT WERE YOU WAITING TO UNTIE ME YOU UGLY HAG?"

To say that you weren't expecting such a sweet face to say those words is an understatement.

You kinda panicked so you swiftly swept the strip to cover his mouth again

Not changing the gentleness might I add.

You patted the two kids' heads and went on your way.

A couple of days later you returned to deliver a bag of rice as a payment for the help that Xie Lian and Hua cheng gave when helping your father's fields

And there he was again, but this time he was sleeping. He didn't have the strip of cloth on his face

After you carefully put down the rice you got near him.

It did make you think that his features were refined. Maybe he could have been a prince in another lifetime

You pushed away some of his hair away so you could have a better look.

Qi rong opened his eyes but for a second he thought he was still dreaming

You were so close to his face

He let out a scream

You screamed in fright and landed on your but

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE THIS ANCESTOR BY FORCE, YOU WRETCHED MORTAL?!?!"

You were hyperventilating a bit. Your chest was getting heavy and the room was spinning.

"I'm s-s-sorry I- I didn't mean t-to." your breathing was getting labored by the second and you started to lose focus.

"Dad Xiao Jie is not feeling well don't scream!" Gu zi said with a worried tone " Ha! Even you dare to order me around?! What an ungrateful son I have!!"

He threw a look at you and couldn't help but be reminded of when he was weak and powerless against the splendor of his cousin. When he tried to cultivate but ended up paling in comparison to even his cousin's servants.

He sighed "Aiya, hey look at me. Try to follow my breathing. Breathe in....breathe out.".

After a while, you calmed down and bowed to him " Thank you. I apologize for this."

His mouth was agape. No one has ever bowed to him out of gratitude and respect. Who were you? Why did you make him feel these new things? What did you want from him?

"Meh whatever, you look too weak anyway for me to have a satisfying meal" he said under his breath

"What?"

"What!?"

You huffed with a smile on your face " Well I thank you again gongzi" you bowed and left

Every week you payed a visit to puqi shrine. Bringing the kids and Qi Rong treats made by yourself.

You odly enjoyed listening to Qi rong talk and boasting about his deeds. He was a very funny narrator. He would go on tangents to trash people he didn't like and somehow he knew all of the gossips in the village.

Guess that sitting in the shrine all day doing nothing bettered his hearing skills.

He was also a pretty good listener. He gave great advice.

Although a bit extreme and dramatic, you knew the meaning he tried to convey.

And qi rong would never admit it but the best part of the week was when you came through those gates

Even Xie Lian started to realize that his rambunctious cousin started to be a bit calmer.

One day you were listening to him reciting a poem.

Yes I know it's odd but you were pestering him so much about it when he told you that he remembered a couple of poems from xianle that he conceded to your pleas just to shut you up.

And you did bring douhua...his favorite desert...

It tasted so much like the one his mother used to give him...

Qi Rong’s voice was soft as the autumn breeze swayed the leaves outside. The red, yellow, and orange tones mingled with the afternoon sun.

You couldn't help but fall asleep. You had done so many errands today. You were very tired. And his soft voice just lulled you to dreamland

Qi rong felt something hit his shoulder.

His breath was caught in his throat.

How could a measly mortal human look so ethereal and in peace as you looked now? Your lashes, your chubby soft cheeks, your hair swaying with the breeze. He couldn't bear to disturb you from sleep.

He huddled closer to try and provide you with more support and tried to give you a bit more warmth.

and without thinking, he pressed his lips to the crown of your head.

He realized what he did and sighed " Aiya what are you doing to me? I can't be going soft or else I'll be as pathetic as cousin crown prince..."

"But this is not that bad"

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yanbub · 3 years ago

Text

them as your online crush

— includes: diluc, xiao, and childe x gn!reader

— genre + warnings: pure crack. cw: some of my headcanons on the pronouns of the characters included, tho its all for jokes dont take them srsly.

— note: hi im alive 🤗 not completely back but i just wanted to write this ,,, please reblog if you've enjoyed ! it helps me a lot <3 kinda based from what happened 2 me lately so ig based from experience LOL. unedited and not proofread and this is very messy zzz sorry in advance for errors n whatnot

diluc ;

literally your local he/him with handsome (aka formal) typings on the internet. he can literally just say “hello :)” and get SO MUCH clout. he doesn’t even have to try to be some random clout chaser, he automatically gets clout just for being a he/him.

he seemed cold at first but the more you get to know him, he wasn’t that bad. his handsome typings didn’t even seem cold anymore, it’s just how he really types to anyone anywhere.

he’s so caring even if you just text each other like. what the hell? and you found him intimidating of all things… it’s rare to see him crack a joke online but he actually cracks a few with you (woah special treatment wish all)

nothing much to say, he just sounds hot when he types and he’s a green flag because he’s really caring and nice. so who wouldn’t even crush on him?

xiao ;

another he/him. gets more clout than diluc. probably one of those “he/him, 16”s that you see on twitter or something. he can just say “hello tl” and get more than 10 replies.

PLEASE the way he types sometimes is lowk scary but there's no ill intention to them. he just sounds mad everytime he types. i have no idea why, he just does.

is actually some fun guy to talk with, you’d never regret a moment with him <3.

light banters here and there probably, he literally does personal attacks when he gets the chance istg 😭. he’s also a slight jokester… just slight. it’s either his jokes would suck or they would be funny.

commitment issues so you’d probably hesitate to crush on him in the first place, crush material with caution !! stay safe

jokes aside, he’s the type who’d defend you on twitter of all places. probably would waste time sitting on one spot and is arguing with strangers online over something they accused you of idk.

HE’S JUST NICE OK scary at first but really nice to hang out with yeaaaa

childe ;

literally the reason why i did this post LMFAOOOO

enemies to lovers on the internet, yall fight so often like what the actual fuck is up

also another one who does personal attacks to make you lose, foul move, honestly.

for some reason people think you’re dating, but in truth you’re just friends. you two are so close so maybe that’s why ppl thought of that.

it’s normal for most to see you two arguing, especially when they see you and childe telling the other to deactivate as a joke. fighting is basically how you interact…

if you act nice to him once he’ll probably ask if you got possessed or something similar to that LMFAO. but he’ll act nice back !! he knows when to joke or not.

doesn’t like labels so you hesitate on crushing on him 😂👍

your dms is either filled with you two telling the other to deactivate or just random drama spilling.

no because he sometimes do those handsome typings too </3 if you tell him you’re doing something he’d always remind you on it. (for example: “SHUT UP im taking a test can u please bully me later instead 😁😁” “oh, do your exam first. just talk to me later” (as if he wasn't telling you to delete ur account a few moments ago))

idk what to say atp uhm yea he’s a different breed than the other two LOL

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #childe x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #childe #diluc #xiao #genshin x gn reader #genshin headcanons #HELP I ONLY RELATE TO CHILDE'S BC .........#BC THATS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN ME AND MY FRIEND .............#and yes he doesnt like labels so im still hesitating whether i should like him or not #anyways 😮😮😮 im alive ! lol !!

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rayofsunas · 4 years ago

Text

s/o has bad cramps.

A/n: hi everyone! I hope your day is going smoothly today <33 zhongli’s is short, because idk how to write for dude, sorry lmao :0 to the anon who requested this thank you and enjoy!!

Summary: s/o has bad period cramps.

Parings: Diluc/Fem! Reader, Xiao/Fem! Reader, Zhongli/Fem! Reader

Warnings: fluff, periods

Word count: 1.1k

Diluc

you returned home in tears one day and he really thought you were dying

he thought you’d gotten so badly hurt, you were on the brink of death

especially when he sees you holding your stomach, hunched over

“love what’s wrong? are you alright?

he doesn’t know what to do tbh

honestly, he’s clueless

even more so if you’ve run out of herbs to soothe the pain

Diluc will have to ask around Mondstadt about what the best remedies for cramps are and where he could find some

let's just say it’s embarrassing for him, but all the women he’s asked (Lisa, Amber, even Jean) think it’s absolutely adorable

he cares so much and he truly wants to help you, it’s so sweet!

Lisa was the most helpful; giving Diluc names of a few different bath salts and a herb that helped ease the pain

Amber had given the same information as Lisa, though saying that the bath salts were your best bet

Jean was NO help, she explained she typically powered through the cramps if she had any

what a LEGEND ughh

let's be honest, Kaeya knows everything, so it wasn’t a surprise when he showed up at your place, with the herbs you needed

but Diluc was still confused as hell

one, how did he know you needed the herbs?!

and two, somehow Kaeya knows more about it than he does and he’s like !?!?!? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

“Women on their periods are like demons. She’ll wanna rip your head off and jump you at the same time.”

HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS INFO

that’s all Diluc wants to know, HOWWW

when Diluc returns home with all the stuff, he’s more than happy to help run a nice bath for you and add the bath salts, give you the herbs with a nice cup of hot tea, and help you get settled in bed

tbh, he doesn’t mind if you complain or whine about the pain, it’s just another thing he can’t judge you for

it’s natural and uncontrollable

the best thing he can do, is be there for you and help you no matter what

Xiao

if your cramps are period related, sorry but Xiao is lost af :0

he’s used to the usual muscle aches and cramps from strain in battle, etc. he’s not human, but he can still feel some variants of pain

considering you’re his first lover, he has no experience with periods and the unfortunate pain that can come with it

the two female Yaksha he once worked beside never had this issue so he’s even more out of the loop

when he sees you crying about the cramps, at first he’s blunt and a little rude

“why are you crying? are humans seriously this weak...”

trust me he means well, it just came out all wrong

but then he thinks about it again and how harsh he sounded

he knows you wouldn’t cry about nothing, so this is pretty bad

the very first time he experienced your period was when you had asked for a change of pants and underwear

he blushed the tiniest bit when he realized he’d have to go into your underwear drawer and grab you a pair

he’s much more comfortable now, but back then? you had only been together for a little over four months and you were both taking things slow

he’d never seen your underwear or had been intimate yet, so he was shook af

though, Xiao didn’t think much of it and kindly did as you asked

but when he stepped into the bathroom and spotted the bloody pants and underwear on the floor?

sheesh, he can only think of one thing

“are you dying?”

he really thinks you’re dying also, like WTAF Y/N WHY IS THERE BLOOD ON YOUR CLOTHES?!?!?!

but nah, you just had a little accident ;-;

“no, not literally. but figuratively, yes.”

poor boy, he’s seen so much blood in his lifetime... his own, his friends, strangers, but it hits different when it’s from you

“what’s going on then?”

“i’m on my period.”

“period?”

“yes. do you know what that is?”

“something I figure only mortals go through.”

“yes, unfortunately, only women...”

“how come I never knew this...”

“it never came up?”

despite being clueless, he learns very quickly over time, that you’re “delicate and fragile” most during your period

he figures basic herbs and pain medicines can do the job, but if they fail?

he’s there to rub any sore spot

naturally he doesn’t have much to say, so he’ll comfort you physically

he’ll ask, “where does it hurt?” and get straight to work as soon as you respond

backrubs? you got it

tummy rubs? he’ll help you, just find a comfortable spot in bed

personally I believe physical affection may be Xiao’s preferred love language; so he definitely gives the BEST tummy/back rubs :)

Zhongli

“are you alright, dear?”

Zhongli noticed it immediately

that you were holding your lower back as if you’d strained yourself in battle or something strenuous

“yeah, just cramps.”

he’s been around for a LONGGGG time and he knows humans well, so he’s no stranger to periods

he KNOWS exactly what to do

and he’s on it as soon as he hears the words “period cramps”

he knows all the best remedies, maybe even some you’ve never even heard of from “ancient times” as you liked to call it

“are you sure this still works?” you ask seriously, though there’s a hint of teasing behind your words

“humans have evolved a lot.”

“not that much, darling.”

don’t worry, you’re in the best care with Zhongli

he may be broke af, but he somehow always manages to get you the best of the best :)

he’ll do anything you ask, get you anything you want, no matter what

Zhongli will get all the best stews and sweet treats he can possibly find in Liyue, trust me

he may coddle you a bit too much, tbh

if you need to go somewhere, he figures he may as well carry you

excellent piggyback rides btw

like, you’re already in enough pain, don’t put pressure anywhere else

that’s how he sees it

plus, he just naturally wants to take care of you

he does mean well, even if he smothers a bit too much

period cramps hurt a lot, he’s never experienced them obviously, but he can only imagine how bad they are

at the end of the day, he’s the one who’s going to dote over you most

he knows exactly what to do and has basic knowledge on where to get the things to help you feel better

you’ll be in the best hands ever, trust me

2.19.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader

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supertunanana · 3 years ago

Text

I’ve debated writing this for a while, because who wants to read my inane thoughts on the matter? What are my opinions really worth in the grand scheme of things? I’m not so self important to think this will be of any value. But, I’m an extroverted thinker, so this might help my brain finally shut up, and that’s worth something to me.

The hypocrisy surrounding Jikook.

Are they a couple? Maybe. I legitimately don’t know. I don’t default into thinking they’re straight. I don’t default into thinking they’re gay. Every member is a blob, sexually, until they define themselves one way or another. Because honestly, I don’t care. That’s between them and their potential paramours. There’s nothing wrong with either option, heck there’s nothing wrong with both or none. Live a life, man... good luck!

And I have no problems with shipping, to the extent it is done in a sane way and fans do not impose their ships onto the actual people. What I mean is, if you think Tae and JK look good together and you want to read stories or draw art of them as a couple and you want to explore their dynamic, you do you. However, it crosses a line when fans get mad when real people or real situations do not adhere to their fantasy. When they contradict footage and quotes and the feelings of those involved because it doesn’t fit into their little shipping box, that’s when it’s a problem. Be realistic. Have distinct lines between fantasy and reality, between what you might like and what is actually happening.

It is this reason, that I think shipping generally innocuous and indicative of the shipper more than the celebrity, that I also don’t think the celebrities in question need to be defended against shipping. Because if it is distinctly fantasy, then unless they express an opinion on the matter, most celebrities don’t really seem to know about it or care. It’s harmless. That defense, those hackles raised, again say more about the fans than the celebrities. When Xiao Zhan’s (XZ) fans got pissed off that some fanfic writer was portraying him as trans, XZ never weighed in on it. It wasn’t until those fans, in DEFENSE of their idol reported the writer and those of their ilk to the censors in China and got AO3 blocked on Chinese internet, that’s when XZ stepped in. And not to thank his fans for defending him, but to apologize to all the innocent Chinese fanfic writers who lost their work and their sanctuary because a handful of his fans had gotten the site banned. Again, the problem here was fans imposing their own beliefs on the celebrity, in this case thinking he would be upset by this and thus needed to be defended. They ended up causing more harm than good.

So the crux of this, what’s been kicking about in my brain, was the need for the fandom to “defend” JK from “shippers” the day after “hickey gate” and why these things only ever seem to focus on Jikook moments.

First off, “hickey gate” stemmed from footage that was a full, editorial choice to be shared on the part of Hybe and BTS. It was behind the scenes, closed set, pandemic lockdown footage edited together and released as official content, not some concert fancam or paparazzo on the street catching a private moment. They chose to leave in both Jimin and Jungkook on TWO occasions addressing the bruise/bite/hickey on JK’s neck, with the source being attributed to Jimin both times. Thus, people discussing this after the fact is a natural biproduct of it being shared. Is it even “shipping” when we are given the footage and the explanation? Is it not just a strange fact? This isn’t someone superimposing a fantasy onto them. This is the boys flat out saying Jimin bit JK and left a mark on his neck. I get debate over whether it was a bite or a hickey might lend itself more to “shipping”, with the latter being more shippy, but seriously, just looking at it would make anyone to question whether the BRUISE was more a hickey than a bite mark. What it says about the nature of their relationship is a whole other animal, but the fact is, it happened. And people are going to have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about this. And that’s obviously something Hybe/BTS were ok with to share it in the first place (seriously, we would have never known, we DIDN’T even have a whiff of this until they put the whole thing on the DVD, so they were obviously OK with this leading to speculation, because how can a member saying they BIT another on the neck not?). All the content we are given of the boys snuggling, biting, ear sucking, tenderly addressing each other, etc.. is mostly a choice. And that choice will lead to questions and debates, and they’re obviously ok with it. It’s not wrong for people to be like, “huh” when they do questionable things and choose to give us said content about the questionable things.

But, there always seems to be this backlash when it’s Jikook. We have to “defend” JK, a fully grown man, who brought up the bite himself on camera from people talking about the bite as he himself said it was given to him. No backlash to people saying Jimin claimed doing it to cover up JK’s secret girlfriend (uhhh, when homosexuality is a no-go in SK, that seems a weird choice, but sure, ok.... like just cut it from the footage and slap some make up on like they do during the concert, since none of us noticed it then, and move on if you want to cover it up). But that’s allowed supposition despite having NO EVIDENCE to support it. And what we are TOLD actually happened is not ok and “shipping”?!?

Worse, when days later some innocuous “TAE AND JK WERE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER OMG! THEY’RE IN LOVE” trends, where is the “save JK from shipping” rhetoric? That is CLEARLY shipping. I’m not saying Jikook shippers don’t do this, too, they do. And I laugh and shake my head at every little thing being dissected and offered as “proof”, but there always seems to be this backlash when it’s Jikook. ESPECIALLY when it’s undeniably... different. Neck biting. Ear sucking. “with JK at 4 a.m.” when they found out Dynamite got number one. Golden Closet Tokyo. These things are facts. Again, they’re... weird facts that do lead me to raise an eyebrow a lot, but they are facts and they were shared by the members as facts. I don’t think it’s necessarily shipping to think weird facts are weird and may lead to conclusions that don’t adhere to the THEY ARE ALL INHERENTLY STRAIGHT manifesto so many fans seem to have (and I think “straight until proven otherwise” is a shitty perspective anyone could have in any walk of life and again speaks to inherent or unconscious heteronormative perceptions in society - hurray -_-).

But even the dumb shippy stuff that ALL other combos have, is always an ISSUE when done by Jikook. Their bond or interactions are downplayed by major accounts. They’re an outlier. Some shippers even try to make it out like they hate each other (whaaa? HOW?!?!). Any odd interaction that really is just odd is deemed “shipping” and cast off into the no-no void, where it’s WRONG if you side-eye it. And I know WHY. I know it’s because they ARE different and they do do stuff people just don’t want to look too closely at because it makes them uncomfortable, so it’s easier to just deem it all “other” and “crazy supposition” and get rid of it. But it’s frustrating when it’s legit and it’s stuff they’re choosing to show and give us. It’s frustrating to be told you’re not allowed to go “huh, weird” because now you’re just a crazy shipper.

And again, I’m NOT saying Jimin and JK are in a relationship, because again, IDK, but I’m also not saying they're NOT either. I’m going to keep side eyeing the fuck out of some of the stuff they do and just enjoy that they are 100% each other’s person in the interim. And if that makes me a crazy shipper, then I guess that’s what I am.

#jikook #thoughts

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merakiui · 3 years ago

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listen, i *know* bittersweet secret xiao's a bad person, i *know* that he's a murderer + kidnapper.... but!! i still like him :(( idk maybe it's just the way you write him; it's easy to sympathize with him and everything he goes through, especially after we got to see a little bit of his past. i also adore the way you describe the environments, it's so vivid and it really pulled me in, like i was feeling the same anxiety and claustrophobia that the characters are. all in all, i can't believe i get to read this for free or without pirating it fr

— anon who just binged all of bittersweet secret at 4 in the morning <33

Aaa, thank you for such a nice message, anon!! :D I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! <3

I think it's a lot easier to sympathize with Xiao because most of the story is told from his pov, so the reader sees his reactions and thoughts to everything. Maybe the feelings would be different if it was written solely from his secret's perspective. You get a view into his life and his past and all of the things that may have been a cause for how and why he acts the way he does now. You get to see his desperation and fears and how one-track his mind usually is when it comes to his secret. You can't help but feel bad for him because of his situation. >_< It's really interesting to analyze his character in this way!!

And I'm happy to know the environments could pull you in!!! I always want the tension and anxiety in my fics to be felt by the readers!

#sweet messages #bittersweet secret #omg 4 am binge read of bs :O i hope you could get some sleep!!#but also tysm for reading!!!!

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lolibles · 3 years ago

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oddly specific things i want to do with the genshin characters.

characters included: klee and albedo ft, kaeya, kazuha, venti, xiao, zhongli and hutao

klee and albedo: build a really big lego sculpture together. i feel like it’ll be really cute, like albedo wont be as critical and wont act as if its some elaborate experiment because klee is there. and klee being klee, would most likely try to eat a lego or like lose a piece by accident (just chaotic evil really). honestly i think it’ll just be a really fun and wholesome experience because albedo rarely spends much time with klee and she’d be ecstatic to be with albedo doing a puzzle. bonus: kaeya shows up to help when klee falls asleep :)

kazuha: MAKE A CHERRY PIE! or any pie for the matter. honestly i’m not even sure why but i want to make a pie with him. i feel like it would be such a fun thing, in one of his voice lines he mentioned liking any food that has been carefully made with love. so i mean pies aren’t the easiest thing to make (i think) and it would be such a cute experience to do it together (especially if its both of our first times)! i also think he would want to share the pie with like beidou and some other crew mates! so we’d go around offering slices to pie to people!! so wholesome,,,

venti: watch a bunch of studio ghibli movies with him. oh my god, movie night with venti? HELL YES. would probably arrange a charcuterie board, wine or literally any other snack! i feel like venti would appreciate a lot of the studio ghibli movies because of the whole aesthetic and the meaning of the movies. and yes we would probably cry together. even it its drunk tears, tears are still tears. bonus: sometimes xiao would show up to these movie nights and fall asleep probably, or he’d just show up and no one knows why.

xiao: go to an aquarium with him. i feel like xiao would really enjoy the aquarium, especially the area with the jellyfishes or the small aquatic animals. its relatively dark with the only light emitted from the animals itself. (where i am from) its pretty cold and honestly strangely comforting, its really pretty and i feel like xiao would feel a little more at peace. we wouldn’t need to talk much, and he would not mind listening to me rant about all kinds of things (idk i talk a lot). i think he’d find the aquarium quite serene so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’d like to take him there! bonus: him being shy and embarrassed so he wouldn’t ask but he’d want to touch the fishes in the touching pond thingy

zhongli: okay this may be strange, but i took world history in school for three years and i really enjoyed learning about it. i love reading fiction books about ww1 and ww2! even if it is a pretty sensitive topic i would want to tell zhongli about the wars in our world. bring him to historical museums, show him movies/ books about it. its generally a really sad topic to speak on but its extremely fascinating! zhongli being himself i think he too would enjoy learning about it. he’s been alive for so long and he knows so much about HIS world. so i think he would like to know more about the world we live in. (also because out of everyone i think he’s most likely to be open to listen about the events) IM NOT SURE IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT OH WELL

hutao: PLAY A HORROR GAME WITH HER! imagine how fun and chaotic that would be, i’m not someone who gets scared from horror games that easily (creeped out probably but not the the extent of nightmares). i feel like it would be so chaotic, hutao might get jumped scared but she likes it, and even if it terrifies her she would always chose the worst way to play the game or purposely seek out the terror. we’d probably do it like at some weird hour in the night, and scream so loud. bonus: if zhongli was there he’d come into the room thinking we were dead or something. he’d stay for a bit but after one jumpscare he was OUT.

not sure where this came from, but i thought of it on the way to school on the train this morning! i will probably make this a series and i think its just a wholesome thing to write :) you can think of this as platonically or romantically (theres not much tho) let me know which characters you want me to write this for!!! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و my dms and asks are open! feel free to let me know if you enjoy this!!

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toraashi · 3 years ago

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ahem. i present to you: zuzu's song rec list.

trivia love - bts (i had a whole character arc through this song, okay.)

the kids aren't alright - fall out boy (idk why this song brings me so much peace but it does)

chicken wings - samm henshaw (i got a thing for horns, i guess? fuckin' love samm's music though, please do explore his discography!)

freezing - bren joy (MEWWWWZIKKKK, DO YOU HEAR ME)

死ぬのがいいわ - fuiji kaze (smth about this one.. yeah)

heaven is a place in my head - bad suns (so much serotonin, not enough time)

cemetery - coin (these songs in this album remind me of the modern!xiao i conjured in my head.. ugh <3)

okay i'll stop, i'm annoying enough as is 🧍🏽

- zuzu('s love language is music, sorry)

ZUZU okay okay don't even apologize you could never be annoying and i love sharing music like this and i just ascend when people send me music recs so lemme take some time to go through these

it’s kinda long so like... hopefully i wasn’t the one being annoying this time 😭 i love music so much too so i just kinda went all in

1. okay i love this song so much. i heard it when it came out but it's probably my favorite of the "trivia" solos the rap line did in that era 😭. the piano has a death grip on my heart it's just so romantic and so like happy ugh i will be throwing myself at namjoon's feet

2. i was obsessed with fall out boy and this entire album when i was 15, but this song has just been so timeless to me especially as an adult now. I love the pre-chorus and the bridge so fucking much especially the line "i just wanna sit around and gaze at my shoes, and let your dirty sadness fill me up just like a balloon," patrick stump just goes in on that line and it just ends me everytime

3. okay first impression i love the fullness of the singer's voice and the dynamics in the song! like you can hear tires skidding and then that break between the verse and chorus with the dialogue -- it just has so much character and is so easy to listen to like i have a whole image in my mind about the setting and the colors- ugh this is def going into one of my (89) playlists

4. okay so i haven't heard this song before, but i am listening to it now, and i am obsessed with the vocals + the lyrics. the extended metaphor with the water is just *chef's kiss*. it's so peppy but in such a catchy way! i love the piano from the beginning hiding in the background of the song too. thank you for giving me a gem to listen to on the way to work!

5. I’m absolutely seeing a theme with the piano base with r&b vibes and i’m loving it so much and i’m loving that i can see what type of music you’ve been listening to lately through these songs. My favorite part after the beat is just the vocal inflections like it’s just so intricate and melodic i love it! there’s also this one repeating part where it just like starts low and goes up (i don’t know enough about singing to tell you exactly which part 😭) but it’s sooo addictive!

6. i only know a few songs by bad suns (my fav is maybe we’re meant to be alone), but i’ve always loved the like super high energy peppy rock/pop mix. it’s hard to describe but the vocals are very reminiscent of 80s rock and i love that trend in 10s alternative music. This songs gives me just an image of driving down a super flat road in the summer just like sun on your skin, breeze in your hair like just laughing and happiness. but overall i love it and the concept makes me want to write about wonderfully bittersweet things LMAO

7. okay so i listened to this a few times and i’m obsessed with the bridge i love the melody of it. i don’t know a ton of coin songs, but the ones i do know would literally be so cute with modern!xiao (who i’m obsessed with like xiao actually being able to be happy just 🥺🥺 i want to squish him and make him laugh) but anyway i really enjoyed how this song sounded a little more minimalistic compared to the other coin songs i’ve heard and i liked the concept of the song. existentialism in music is just always so good lmaoo

ANYWAY i hope that wasn’t too much 😭💕 i loved your music but my favorite from the ones i hadn’t heard was probably the chicken wings one! i usually listen to music that’s a little more chill/easy listening and i just liked how dynamic and individualistic that song felt especially with all the spontaneous noises that really created the imagery in my head idk! send more music recs whenever you want i love them 😭💕

#moots — zuzu #i feel inspired rn #the bad suns one made me a little sad bc it reminded me of sad things in my past but #the writing ideas it gave me can't be ignored!!#also piano is just... so tasteful when it like actively shows up in songs imo

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selenuntius · 3 years ago

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Zhang Longevity - Southern Archives

Hello I know I just wrote about this at length but like I acknowledged in that post, I hadn’t read Southern Archives. Well now I have, and I’ll make a couple of additions/speculations based on the information in that. Don’t read if you haven’t read Southern Archives. Some of this information is related to plot points.

The main takeaway from Southern Archives that’s truly unambiguous is that there is a way to destroy the Zhang longevity (quite violently it appears).

Two other ones that have ambiguity to them are related to qilin blood. It’s a bit hard to just give a conclusion so I won’t be giving one here. My take beneath the break, or just read the novel.

Again, I’m trying to make clear what’s speculation and what’s actually in there, but I think even just by pointing out ambiguity, I’m making an argument. Just read the goddamn novel, really, especially to draw your own conclusions about the qilin blood things.

There are some other takeaways from Southern Archives about Zhang clan lore but I thought I should make a followup of sorts to my previous post with new info. Also Southern Archives was a pretty good read. I enjoyed the third-person POV and the period atmosphere. Zhang Haiyan, Haixia and others are some very engaging characters. I feel I may be a little attracted to Zhang Haiqi but I also want to call her mommy, so you can say I’m in a bit of a Haiyan predicament.

Zhang longevity can be destroyed

Probably one of our biggest takeaways from Southern Archives. This was achieved here via some kind of gas. The people who became aware of this in Southern Archives are Zhang Qishan (and some of his clan?), Zhang Haiqi, Zhang Hailou, Mo Yungao.

This may give support for the Zhang Qishan died because he found a way to age normally theory.

Zhang longevity is in their “blood” (not said to be the same blood as qilin blood; might just be blood as in they’re born with it)

This one is more ambiguous. The quote I’m drawing this from is in c.55:

“That German nerve gas was not produced in Germany, and its origins are unclear. It seemed to be able to destroy the mechanisms within Zhang people’s blood. Mo Yungao mentioned in his records that he found this by chance, and only possessed a single cylinder of it.”

If you’re checking your sources and see that this translation and merebear’s edited MTL is different and want to know why, I will leave a note at the end about this.

Anyways, like I said, I feel like immediately saying that this blood refers to qilin blood is a bit of a leap. I, for one, mostly read it as like a Zhang inherited trait rather than qilin blood. I went into a bit of why I felt the qilin blood is directly linked to their longevity theory wasn’t the best in my previous post, and I did see a reblog also theorising about that but I was too tired to finish writing my response (and I didn’t want to seem like I’m trying to start shit; I really just have too much time on my hands).

If qilin blood is directly linked to longevity, then everyone who has lived for longer than usual has to have a bit of qilin blood. That would mean there’s some kind of threshold for recognising qilin blood, and below that threshold it counts for longevity, but isn’t strong enough to detect.

To confirm the theory, we need some kind of confirmation that an in-between state between full-on qilin blood and non-qilin blood exists. The blood has different degrees of strength - this is true. Wu Xie speculates that the Qiling is chosen by who has the strongest qilin blood (book 8 c.81; N.B. that in Shahai 3 a different reason for selecting our Qiling was hypothesised), and Zhang Haike talks about hearing rumours as a child that our Zhang Qiling had the strongest form of their kekkei genkai blood (ZHH 2 c.7).

However, I still think there’s a distinction between the ones who do and the ones who just don’t, and it’s not all about how strong the blood is. Going back to the Qipan Zhang sect, they wielded quite a lot of power within the clan because they “held the qilin”, which Wu Xie guesses to mean the qilin blood (book 8 c.50 p1). Don’t know if that meant only Qipan Zhang had qilin blood, or if there was just a higher occurrence and a greater strength (I’ve read a headcanon that it’s because the Qipan Zhang absorb anyone who has the blood). Also, Wu Xie says in the 2017 short of Zhang Hailou, “You’re from the branch family… like me, you have to worry about mosquitoes.” Wu Xie, by this point, is quite knowledgable about the Zhang clan so what he says is kinda? reliable. In fact, all three of the Zhang that have qilin blood are from the main family or descended from a sect of the main family (Haiqi is one of the few Hai-generation main family members, southern archives c.47; Qiling was part of the main family according to Haike; Foye is a descendant of Ruitong of Qipan Zhang and Wu Xie speculates at the end of book 8 that Foye’s father brought their entire sect out of the Northeast Zhang’s control, which makes Rishan a descendant of Qipan Zhang too). So is it only the main family that ever has proper qilin blood? If it’s a thing all Zhang have to a degree, surely sometimes it pops up in the branches too.

This is pretty much a joke but I was going to say that maybe bare min qilin blood only protects you from mosquitoes and nothing else but still counts for longevity, and I can’t even make that joke anymore…

The problem here is at what point do we stop saying the longevity has to do with qilin blood and just say the longevity runs in the family, and for some reason, Foye didn’t get it (or died for other reasons). And even if we take a step back and say, yes, longevity does come with the Zhang blood but qilin blood makes you live even longer, not enough time has passed for us to say that.

An addendum about qilin blood, not directly related to longevity: Can qilin blood be an acquired trait?

Mo Yungao believes qilin blood to be an acquired trait, because he asked Zhang Qiling about it and he said it was acquired (Archives c.55).

This is contradicted in other places, for example, by Zhang Haike in ZHH 2 c.7, where he specifically talks about qilin blood as an inherited trait. The two previously mentioned passages about Qipan Zhang and from Wu Xie duking it out with Xiao Zhang Ge also support this, though less directly.

So, why did Zhang Qiling tell Mo Yungao it’s acquired?

There are a couple of possibilities, including Zhang Qiling lying and this actually being true and everyone else being wrong, but I think this was a misunderstanding.

Mainly because I don’t think the line is entirely without ambiguity.

He had asked this strange person if he had been born with his extraordinary abilities or if they were acquired, and the person had replied that they were acquired.

(I have another note about this line but it doesn’t matter for the ambiguity bit, so I’ll leave it at the bottom too.)

The key here is that Mo Yungao, in this omniscient narrator recollection, did not specifically ask about his blood. Mo Yungao clearly meant his blood, because a couple of lines above, Mo Yungao is saved by this person and his blood, and his later obsession is with this blood. But what he actually asked was his extraordinary abilities (plural) so maybe Zhang Qiling took it to mean combat ability rather than specifically his blood?

Again, there are other possibilities, but I prefer a simpler answer rather than a complicated one that takes more speculation to support.

Nerve gas line note:

The original contained the phrase 张家人血液中的肌理, literally “the skin texture of Zhang people’s blood”. This is because 肌理 (skin texture) was likely a typo of 机理 (which I translate as mechanisms here; not necessarily the best one. Could also use principles but I felt that sounded less physiological and more philosophical). These two words have the exact same pronunciation. XL makes these mistakes quite a lot, and because most of our stuff is sourced from his serialisation and web versions, these mistakes don’t get corrected. I suspect this is why merebear uses the vague sentence “but it seemed to specifically target the Zhang’s family blood” instead. It’s not a huge difference, but I thought I should explain my addition of mechanisms and using destroy instead of target (this I don’t quite understand, the original says destroy and I don’t see an issue with simply using destroy) so it doesn’t seem like I’m making stuff up.

Acquired abilities line note:

“Extraordinary abilities” is actually my guess of what XL means when he wrote 无常的能力, because I feel the adjective used is a misuse of the word. 无常 can mean changeable, can be a reference to a Buddhist concept of the cycle of life and death (don’t have the best grasp on this, but bear with me), can be a euphemism for death, or can be a kind of ghost? spirit? that collects people’s souls, kind of like the Grim Reaper I guess but they work for the king of hell. None of these quite fit here. The two characters, taken on their own can maybe mean something like extraordinary, so I’m thinking maybe that’s what XL’s trying to get at but used a slightly different word to replace what you might usually use for extraordinary (不凡 or smth idk), but not to great effect.

#southern archives #南部档案 #dmbj lore

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