#but oh boy. do i physically feel incapable
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deklo · 9 months ago
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maybe one day my impostor syndrome and anxiety disorder will not hold me back tehe
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avocado-writing · 29 days ago
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Kinktober #28
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28. Fucking Machine // Phone Sex // Impact Play (Wade Wilson x Reader)
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“How’s it going?”
“Boring,” sighs Wade, his voice crackly on the other end of the line. “You’d think the people I’m waiting for would have the good grace to appear after like, ten minutes. I’m freezing my nuts off up here.”
Yeah, you don’t envy him for having to be on stakeout tonight. At least he was allowed to take his phone so he could have something to do. He didn’t need his mouth to watch somewhere, he reasoned, meaning he had time to talk to you too. 
You have him on loudspeaker as you cook, preparing macaroni - simple but a favourite in your little household. Wade hums at the sound of you stirring cheese through pasta.
“Wow, pookie, didn’t realise just talking to me made you that wet… man, if I ever went on public radio I’d ruin panties all over the state…”
“I’m making dinner, you goofball.”
“Likely story.” A beat. “Hey, what are you wearing?”
“What do you think I’m wearing, Wade? You saw me this morning.”
“Sure, but I want you to describe it to me.”
You laugh as you top bechamel sauce with breadcrumbs. “I’m wearing those jeans that make my ass look great and one of your shirts. The one which says ‘I love my slut dad’.”
He laughs at his own taste in casual wear and you can’t help but feel oddly sentimental towards him.
“And your panties?”
“From a bulk five-pack I got from Walmart. Not sexy, I’m afraid, baby.”
“They’re sexy if you’re in them.”
“Well that’s very sweet.”
“Do you wish I was there? Give me something, pookie, I’m dying here.”
Macaroni in the oven, you set the timer for twenty minutes and chuckle.
“I do wish you were here, Wade. I wish I was bouncing on your cock instead of watching Hawaii 5-0 all night, is that what you wanna hear?”
From the breath he takes in, yeah, it is. You laugh again. 
“Wow, you’re that horny, huh?”
“Well I’m sat on a rooftop with nothing else to entertain me but my imagination! So yeah, it turned dirty pretty fast. If you were here I could bend you over the balcony and fuck you while still being on lookout… but you’re not. The universe conspires against me, god’s bravest warrior.”
You pause for a moment, considering. When you talk again your voice is lower. Sultry. 
“You hard in your suit, baby?”
“Oh fuck.” You can picture his face lighting up. “You know I am. Fuck. Been hard most of the goddamn day.”
“You can touch yourself. Nobody can see you, right?”
You hear the sound of hands moving on spandex, then the unmistakable slap of skin on skin from the other side of the phone line as he starts to fuck his own hand. 
“Spit on it for me, Wade.”
“Holy fuck, babe…”
“You gonna behave?”
From the other end of the phone you’re able to pick up the welling of saliva in his mouth, and can imagine the way he spits a globule of it onto his cockhead.
“Good boy,” you whisper and Wade makes a strangled noise.
“Oh shit… baby you’re gonna make me cum so hard I’m gonna be ejected off this goddamn roof… they’re gonna find me splattered over the pavement in a mix of blood and cum…”
“Hmm. I’m willing to take my chances.” You slip your hand between your legs and give an exaggerated moan. 
“Holy shit Wade, I wish you were here. Keep me busy while the macaroni is cooking. Or maybe I could just cockwarm you for a little while, hm? Feel you struggling under me…”
“Y-you already did that on day eight…”
The desperation in his voice suggests he won’t last much longer. You grin to yourself.
“We could even ask if Logan wants to watch.”
Wade comes with a whimper. You know it, it’s a whimper he only emits when he’s so horny he’s physically incapable of making any other noise. You let him ride out his orgasm for a moment before asking: 
“So, did you splatter on the pavement?”
“No, but my suit is now covered in jizz, which is arguably worse.”
“Arguably…” you snort affectionately. “Do you feel better now?”
“Well, for like, ten minutes. I’ll call you back? I’ve got a uh, sticky situation to clean up.”
“Sure baby. Have fun.”
“How can I not have fun, cleaning up my own ejac—”
You hit the hang up button before he can finish. But it’s with fondness.
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bruciemilf · 2 months ago
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Can you please drop some of your oliver queen thoughts for someone dying for more oliver content (can't wait to read for him soon) 🥹🙂‍↕️🥹🥹🥹
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OLIVER MY BELOVED—-
Listen.
I’m partially clueless about him as well, BUT. I did start to read more comics and consuming him more from random tumblr posts, which is more than anything DC writers can say for themselves SO—-
Girl dad but for boys. LOOK AT HIS BOYS LOOK AT THEM— have you seen his sons. Now you have.
Roy has to beg him to shut the fuck up about his smallest accomplishments, actually.
Connor is passively accepting this. Yeah, my dad’s cool. Not as cool as me, thought.
Is competitive as fuck. Oh oh, Red Hood drop kicked Bane so hard his knees broke? That’s cute. Roy has a DAUGHTER, BITCH. “You wish that was you, huh”
Clark can hear Bruce’s teeth gritting because yes, yes he does.
I feel like Oliver would embody the “got rich by accident” persona Keanu Reeves has going on. Thus, became Bruce’s first real friend because he was deeply unimpressed with him.
As children, he’d steal Bruce from galas (as in physically pick him up and drag him because Tiny) and make him steal deserts with him. (Alfred would see them and say nothing)
Bruce quietly asking him why he picked him. And he expects “because you’re Bruce Wayne.”
But Oliver shrugs, once, handing Bruce his half eaten pistachio cake. It’s been their tradition.
Bruce only orders it when he knows Ollie will attend. “Because you were a kid. And you were scared. Why else?”
Only one who knows Alfred’s secret cookie recipe.
He and Bruce were not only collage friends, they were ROOMATES. I specifically think Oliver saw his goth turtle of a best friend got accepted into GA and thought I have GOT to watch out for this idiot
Bruce’s comfort clothes include Ollie’s old collage jersey
When Bruce drops out of med school, Oliver’s incredibly pissed off at him. “Do you have any idea how privileged ‘I don’t want to do it’ is?“
And Bruce, shakily, says he does.
“So what the hell are you doing this for?!”
“Because I don’t want them to suffer just to be like me.”
UNCLE OLLIE RIGHTS. Whenever Dick was pissed at Bruce, he’d steal one of his cars and drive to Starr City, fully allowing Bruce to think he was kidnapped.
Convinced Ollie to take pictures of him tied up and send them to Bruce for ransom money.
Bruce and Oliver are “hasn’t seen a single movie since he was 8” bff vs “physically incapable of not quoting his favorite movies all the time” bff
Sends 2000’s memes to the JL group chat and only Clark likes them
He has Dinah’s name tattooed like a trampstamp
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illiterateaffairs · 2 months ago
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breaking point | stiles x reader
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masterlist
pairing: stiles stilinski x f!reader (best friend/witch)
word count: 2,589
warnings: brief mention of having a period but one sentence! cursing, angst, kissing (oh my!)
summary: set at the end of 3b. you pride yourself on being the strong one in the pack so your friends don't have to be. but after recent events - watching stiles get possessed, losing allison and aiden - you can't push your feelings away any longer. thankfully, there's a sweet boy outside your window ready to be there for you this time.
author's note: i have so much i can say about the world in which this story lives but don't want to drone on and on...so another note at the end and more to come. hope you enjoy! <3 (and for anyone following me for jamie tartt x reader content...do not give up on me yet!)
You couldn’t remember the last time you cried. 
You think it had to have been when you were a kid. Maybe a scraped knee. Maybe after you had rewatched Bambi for the thousandth time.
What you do remember is the core reason you stopped letting yourself cry. 
Seeing Scott after his parents divorced taught you there were worse things in life than cuts and scrapes. You’ll never forget the look on his face the day his dad moved out. You and Stiles tried every trick in the book to make him smile but it took days for you to see his crooked grin again. 
Though, that was nothing compared to when Stiles lost his mom.
You had never experienced grief like that, that wasn’t a cartoon animal in a movie. It was anyone’s guess why your families let Scott and you attend the funeral, but the three of you were already codependent by eight years old. You were overwhelmed by the sight of seeing your silly, sweet best friend cry so hard, and it was harder to watch his dad fight through his own tears. Even Scott got choked up. But not you. 
Of course, you were just as devastated. Claudia was like a mother to you. But observing the equally upset people trying to comfort young Stiles made you want to be the one person in the room who could just be there for him and let him mourn. Even as a little girl, you had the selfless instinct to put your feelings aside and prioritize your friend’s.
You stay strong so they don’t have to; that became your mantra, even subconsciously. 
No matter what shit you were going through, you swallowed your own fears, pain, and anger so you could be there for whoever needed you. And that decision soon became a part of your programming. Even if no one was around, you never let yourself break, no matter the situation. 
You stopped crying during movies, no matter how depressing. 
The first time you experienced period cramps so bad you had to stay home from school, you just bit your tongue and didn’t shed a tear. 
As you transitioned to middle school school, and into high school, and your feelings for Stiles went from innocent crush to more, you pushed any heartbreak down when he looked right past you at Lydia Martin. 
Admittedly things have gotten harder the last year. Being there when Scott was bitten by a werewolf was startling but you swallowed your fear for him and focused on his well-being. You even held it together when you started learning of your own supernatural abilities and family secrets that changed everything you thought you knew about yourself. In moments of danger and near-death, you focused on making sure Stiles was okay. Making sure Allison was okay. Lydia, Derek, Isaac, even Jackson at times. You were physically incapable of taking a minute to assess how you felt about things, your mind just redirecting to concern for your friends and loved ones. 
There were some close calls. Mainly when it came to Stiles.
The night he played his first lacrosse game with you cheering in the stands ended with Gerard kidnapping and scarring him. The second you saw his face afterwards, you nearly let the damn break. 
It was no surprise that the last few months were particularly challenging. You could hardly stomach watching Stiles, Scott, and Allison nearly sacrifice themselves to save their parents, your hands plunging Stiles into the ice cold water. It was nearly impossible to watch him become the shell of who he was in the weeks following until he wasn’t himself altogether. 
And then Allison…
You felt the loss of Erica and Boyd heavily but you knew Isaac and Derek were taking it harder, so you were there for them. However with Allison…she was one of your best friends and that made it infinitely more difficult to bear. But she was Lydia’s best friend. Scott’s first love. They needed you more than you needed to cope on your own. 
And then, tonight. Just as you finally put an end to the horror that was the Nogitsune, your pack was hit with another loss: Aiden. Lydia’s relationship with him was complicated, but that didn’t make her any less devastated as she ran out of the school and took in the scene. Holding your friend while she sobbed over the death of two of the most important people in her life is traumatizing, but reaffirming nonetheless; you had no right to cry when someone else was going through worse. 
It was an unhealthy and ridiculous thought, but it was what your brain had been conditioned. 
So here you were, slowly entering your room at an ungodly hour after making sure Lydia would be okay on her own. If it were up to you, you would have stayed with her, but she remained firm that she needed to be alone. And you trusted she meant that. You drop down onto the edge of your bed, heavily, the weight of the last few days - weeks, months, year - making you collapse. Normally, you could push any swirling thoughts away and mindlessly get ready for bed, but as you struggle to pull off your boots, your mind is racing. Scenes of Allison dying, Lydia’s scream, Scott’s face, Stiles collapsing, play in your head. Your lip is quivering. Your hands shake as you drag the shoe’s zipper down your leg. And then suddenly, the unfamiliar feeling of a hot tear streams down your face. You wipe at them hastily, trying to snap yourself out of it but they keep coming. 
You’re on the verge of hyperventilating when you sense someone outside your bedroom window, hearing something bump against it a second later. Without another thought, you’re up and pulling the curtain open, your hand nearly raised to cast one hell of a spell on whoever could be lurking outside at this time after the night you experienced. But your stomach drops when you see Stiles perched on the other side of the glass. Even quicker now, you pull open the window and yank him inside anxiously. 
“Woah, you’re quick. I didn’t even get a chance to knock,” Stiles mutters softly.
“Stiles!” you gasp out as quietly as I can, “What the hell are you doing? You should be in your home, asleep, resting, safe! And you’re risking your life for the second time tonight climbing up here!”
As you scold him, your hands grip onto his flannel, searching him up and down for any sign of distress. 
“Hey, hey, hey,” Stiles whispers, his hands reaching out to gently rub your shoulders, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not,” you shake your head, “You should be home. You should be with your dad, the last few weeks have been killing him.”
“I texted him,” Stiles bypasses quicker than he should, “I just wanted to see you.”
You look up at him for the first time since he’s been in the room, your eyebrows pinching, “You what?”
“Yeah, I…” Stiles pauses as he observes your face. He gently lifts his right hand to cup your face gently, his thumb wiping a tear, “You’re crying.”
Shit. You’d forgotten about that. 
You swallow thickly, making half a move to pull away from him, but he’s instinctive and doesn’t let you get far. You start shaking your head, averting your gaze again and aggressively wiping at your own face in another attempt to hide. 
“No, I’m okay. I’m fine.” you insist.
“It’s okay if you’re not,” Stiles argues. 
“No it's not,” you shake your head more, “God you shouldn’t be comforting me, you almost died tonight.” 
“But you’re allowed to be upset. A lot has been happening.” 
“But Lydia and Scott…”
“No, Allison was your friend, too. It's been a rough few days...”
“No, Stiles, stop, it's not that!” your voice cracks as you quietly exclaim, looking at him firmly now, “The last few days have been…awful. I am so sad about Aiden, and I am devastated about Allison, but I can’t stop thinking about how Scott and Lydia must feel.”
Stiles sighs, “You cared about them too.”
“I know that, but Lydia lost her boyfriend and her best friend within days. Scott lost, like, the love of his life. And that’s what makes my stomach hurt. My mind keeps going to how much it must be hurting them, and I can’t even comprehend it- I can’t even go there because it seems excruciating. And then I feel guilty for even thinking about that, when that’s not what happened to me. They lost their person, and you’re still…” 
Your voice trails off when you realize the implication of what you’re saying.
He’s your person and he’s still here. 
You feel your eyes widen as you process what you just admitted to your best friend. You take in his own surprised expression as he realizes it, too. His hands are still on either side of your face as you look down and sputter, trying to form another coherent sentence. 
“I just meant…so many bad things have happened the last few days, but the one thing I can't stop thinking about is how I almost lost you tonight…” you whisper. You force yourself to look at him again and his lips part, still in a state of…shock? Awe? 
When he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds, you hurry to fill the silence. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying or thinking any of this.”
You make another attempt to pull away from him, but he pulls you closer. 
“No, no,” he whispers.
“You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better, in fact that’s the last thing you should be doing,” you continue rambling.
“Hey, stop it. You don’t ever have to apologize, especially not to me. Just because someone may have gone through worse, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to react or mourn or feel. You’re always so strong for us but it's okay not to be sometimes. And…” Stiles takes a deep breath, “You’re not the only one thinking about what-ifs tonight.” 
You look at him curiously as he continues. 
“What if I had been stronger? None of this would have happened - that thing couldn’t possess me. What if I had been smarter and figured out how to stop the Nogitsune sooner? What if I had really hurt you when he was in control? What if he targeted you the other night or tonight? What if we lost you instead. Despite everything that happened with everyone there, I can't stop thinking about you, you, you. What if I had lost you?” 
You feel your eyes beginning to well up again, at your body’s mercy with no way of stopping it. You could hardly process Stiles' words, in disbelief of the weight they carried. 
“Stiles…” you whisper, but are unable to complete the thought. 
“That’s why I’m here. I couldn’t stomach being away from you right now.” Stiles pauses, before taking a deep breath and continuing, “I'm sorry for not saying it sooner, and sorry for every second you have spent thinking I don’t feel the way you do. You are the most important person in my life, and all I care about half the time. I am…crazy about you. Maybe that’s a poor word choice after my mental state the last few weeks, but it’s true. And if I’ve learned anything from all of this, it's that life's too short. And I don’t want to spend another moment of my life not being with you.”
You stare at Stiles, forced to blink away stray tears. Your heart is racing and you’re still unable to form words, with a million different thoughts swirling in your head.
Not encouraged by your silence, Stiles starts to grow anxious, slowly stepping back and removing his hands from your face as he speaks again, “Was that…way too much, way too fast?…I can go.”
You hardly let him move an inch before you’re stepping back into his space and holding his arms firmly in place. 
“You mean it?” You ask emotionally, “It’s not just the near death experience talking? You really mean it?”
Stiles nods excessively leaning closer, “Every word. You’re my person, too.”
Your lips twist, as if trying to smile but your emotions are all over the place and it just leads to you choking out a sob. In seconds, Stiles' hands move from your face to wrap tightly around your waist as you sink into his embrace.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t wake up tonight.” You cry into his shoulder as he rocks you back and forth. 
“I’m here. I’m okay,” Stiles whispers soothingly, “Mostly because of you.” 
You try to steady your breath as you reply, “Scott and Kira did most of the work.”
Stiles rubs your back, “Not just the ritual tonight. The thought of getting back to you is what held together the last pieces of sanity I had left.” 
You slowly pull back so you can look up at him again, “Really?”
Stiles nods, reaching up to gently wipe your face, “Yeah…I don’t think I could have survived any of it without of you.”
You take a deep breath, briefly thinking about how much torture the last few weeks have been for him, but push the thoughts away when it becomes too much to stomach. You tenderly place your hands on his face. “I’m sorry we couldn't bring you back sooner.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t think about that. I’m here now, yeah?”
You nod, your eyes flicking around his face, taking in every detail you can see in your dimly lit room. “Yeah…”
Stiles gently brushes a piece of your hair back, whispering, “Right where I want to be.” 
As if by a gravitational pull, your face inches closer to him, your noses brushing first, before your lips finally meet in a soft, timid kiss. Your first real kiss. It only takes seconds for the two of you to become more comfortable, any trepidations fading away as you practically melt into each other. You sigh as his hands move down the curves of your body, your own hands gripping his hair. You would have never, ever pulled away if you didn’t need to breathe. Stupid lungs. 
You stay in contact, pressing your foreheads together. 
Breathing heavily, Stiles asks, “Can I…stay here tonight?”
You nearly laugh, “If you even had half a thought that I was going to let you leave after this, you’re out of your mind.” Not even a second goes by before you realize what you had said, your eyes going wide but then you see half an amused smile on his lips.
Stiles shakes his head, shushing you as he pulls you back in for another kiss. 
After a few more moments of kissing, and after you finally change and curl up in bed with him, your thoughts turn back to the recent events and you find yourself crying again. But unapologetically, comforted by Stiles' embrace and the fact that he was feeling the same things as you. And that it was okay to feel them. You both mourn Allison and all the friends you've lost. And eventually, you fall asleep in each other’s arms. The last few weeks had fully broken you. But it was okay, because you had someone to help pick up your pieces whenever you needed. And you’d be there to do the same for him. 
---
author's note: lmao i never know how to end things. but there it is! my first stiles fic in years. some may have read some of my old work from a years ago, but writing for stiles was my one of my first forays into fanfic over a decade ago. i always fall back on my stiles hyperfixation and with the return of fall, its back in full force.
i envision this work as part of the oc/reader character i've developed (mostly in my head) over the years, where she grew up as stiles and scott's best friend, pining over stiles and eventually finds out she is a witch. however, i never fully committed to a teen wolf rewrite, so i've written a few tidbits a while ago. i have an overall narrative i think she follows, but i also love the idea of playing with different ways stiles and the reader can get together, and this was the idea i've had most recently thinking about season 3b. i imagine the reader had already admitted to her feelings, but the timing wasn't right so she's finally giving into them and stiles finally reveals he reciprocates them. i could go on and on about the details for this "world" and the many alternate routes it can take.
let me know if anyone has any interest is seeing more of witch/bestie!reader x stiles in all of its shapes and forms, and feel free to inbox me any questions/thoughts/anything. also let me know what you thought of this! it finally got me writing again after a year, so i'm a little rusty, but eager to get back into it again <333
and again, i haven't forgotten my jamie series...i am trying to get over a hump of writers block for the next chapter but after that i'm locking in. :)
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heeseungiez · 3 months ago
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RESOLUTION 2) not be a virgin anymore...
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pairings! sim jake x fem!reader; mentions of heeseung x reader
synopsis! sim jake has always liked you, but as heeseung’s best friend, he felt weird trying to talk to you. now, with the rules around you loosening, jake refuses to miss his chance to win you over.
content warnings! smut (mdni! 18+), swearing, blowjob, loss of virginity and other smut things but it’s pretty mild
word count! ~8.4k
taglist! OPEN! send an ask to be added!
a/n! i did my best… i hope you guys like it
masterlist | next
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Good morning, Decelis!
What’s up with you guys? Things have been really boring these days.
XO, Miss Decelis
You wanted to kill Lee Heeseung.
It had been a month since your shared moment at the party, but you were still dealing with the aftermath, having to wear turtlenecks or bother with makeup to cover the hickeys he gave you. You hated it. The reminder of what you had done and with whom. You hated the way he would smirk upon seeing you in class, in the hallways, or whenever you ran into each other at the hotel — you weren’t even safe at the place that should be your home.
Lee Heeseung was everywhere, as far as you were concerned. You were convinced that not only could he find you anywhere if he wanted to, but he could appear from behind a corner at any moment simply to taunt you with his presence. He didn’t even need to speak to annoy you.
This — whatever game the two of you were playing — was far worse than when he did everything in his power to annoy you. Because now, all you could think about was how it would feel to actually lose your virginity to him. You wondered if it would have happened at the party, had you not been interrupted.
You scoffed when Heeseung sat down in class in front of you. You could see the lopsided grin on his lips through the back of his head. But neither of you said a word to each other. Because, despite everything, Heeseung was still keeping his reputation of a careless asshole who ignored you at school (you were the only person noticing the subtle actions that revealed he was doing the very opposite).
On the other hand, when Sim Jake walked past you to join Heeseung at the same desk, he didn’t do so before shooting you a huge grin and saying: “Hello, Y/N. How are you doing today?”
Within the group of Heeseung, Jay and Jake, the latter was the only one who didn’t blatantly disregard you before last summer. He always made time for small talk with you, approaching you at random events whenever he noticed you were alone. He was nice, in your opinion. His only downside was the fact that his best friends were Heeseung and Jay, really. Layla, his dog, almost made up for that fault in his character though.
“Hey,” you responded with a thin-lipped smile, incapable of resisting the boyish charm that Sim Jake embodied. “I’m good. Just tired.”
“Oh yeah. Assignments have been pretty killer lately,” Jake agreed, running a hand through his hair. Heeseung glanced between the two of you, squinting his eyes. “There’s a project I gotta finish for physics, and it’s been the worst. Like, I love the subject but, jeez, Mr Kang is totally doing his best to make me hate it.”
“Maybe you’d do better if you didn’t spend all your time talking about holes.” Heeseung’s innuendo was not lost on either of you, but Jake was fairly unbothered by it, shaking his friend off with a roll of his eyes.
“Maybe if you weren’t so ignorant, you’d know black holes are one of the most fascinating topics in physics,” Jake said matter-of-factly. “So excuse me if I’d rather have a presentation on that.”
You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips at seeing Jake so bothered over physics. He might not look like it with his never-faltering flirtatious smile and those big puppy eyes, but there was clearly a nerdy side to the boy that you had never known about before. You liked this about him — you liked this change in him of finally approaching you more freely, too.
Jake’s eyes were fixated on you, drinking in your soft laugh and your new appearance.
See, Sim Jake always thought that you were pretty. Even when Heeseung and Jay seemed unimpressed, he always stopped to appreciate you. He just wasn’t sure how exactly to act around you when his friends’ feelings toward you were much different than his. But lately, they stopped complaining about every little thing you did (frankly, Jake thought they were obsessed with you and in denial since middle school). To Jake, that meant he could finally talk to you without the fear of being overly judged by his closest friends. Even now, when he spoke to you, Heeseung didn’t look as disapproving as he would’ve last year. He just minded his business on his phone aside from the few snide remarks.
“I think I’ll miss out on that one,” you said with a slight shake of your head.
It wasn’t a secret that you were not a fan of anything natural science related. Maths was your limit. Your preference lied within humanities, like sociology and psychology. The reasoning behind it was perhaps far too obvious, but you liked to pretend that you simply enjoyed learning about human behaviours, and why people acted the way they did.
Like with Jake, who had always been a bit apprehensive around you, especially when Heeseung and Jay were around. But Heeseung didn’t care anymore (if that’s what you could call it), and so Jake felt at ease speaking to you casually because he was abstained from judgement.
“That’s fine. We don’t really need to talk to have fun.” The suggestive tone made your brow raise, and when you glanced at Heeseung, the boy tensely gripped his pen. Turning his head to look at Jake, he narrowed his eyes.
From your point of view, it could be interpreted in many different ways, but you knew Heeseung could not possibly be jealous of Jake’s harmless flirting with you. It was a warning nevertheless, though, to leave you alone. Jake only understood the part where it was a warning, however, fearing that he might get an earful about it later.
He sat down, still glancing at you with another shiny smile of his, and you returned it.
“Good morning, class,” the C1 English teacher, Miss Crawford, entered the class with a stack of worksheets and files in her arms. The class stood to greet her with a bow, and she motioned for them to sit down with a smile. “Let us not dally, shall we?” she asked, giving the stack of sheets to the students closest to her to pass them on. “Each of you should keep one. Look at it, and while you do, I will prepare the instructions on the board.”
The sheet didn’t have much on it, when you got one of your own. It was mostly blank aside from the few topics on top. You recognised them as conversation topics from the textbook you got for this class.
“For the next hour, the task at hand is fairly simple,” Miss Crawford began speaking once the board was lit up with her simple presentation. “As you all know, speaking is one of the many parts of the C1 level English exams to acquire a certificate, and for today, we will focus on exactly that. Talking about a specific topic and the flow of conversation between two people. In C1 level exams, it isn’t only important to be fluent and have expansive vocabulary on your own. The reason behind the speaking exams being in pairs is to test the speaker’s ability to stop themselves from talking and give the other person the room to speak as well by asking follow-up questions.
“For that reason, I have paired all of you up on my own rather than letting you converse in pairs of your own choosing. It is better to test your abilities with someone you aren’t entirely comfortable with to help your sociability and further your chances at scoring full points in conversation.”
Miss Crawford shuffled through her papers to find the sheet that contained the pairs she assigned. The first person she looked at was you, gracing you with a smile. “I also took into account your English skills as a whole to make balanced pairs for today’s lesson. So the first pair would be Miss Y/N and Mr Sim,” she announced.
Jake turned to you instantly, sporting the look of an excited puppy. No one else mattered after that, except for Jake who moved to sit down next to you.
You barely registered it when Miss Crawford spoke again with more information. “By the end of the class, I hope you’ll get more comfortable with each other, as at the end of the term, I am going to conduct a speaking exam of my own to see if you’re making progress. For that reason, pairings are subject to change, however, I do want you and your initial partners to continue working together on other projects for the remainder of this term. That is why I cared about the balance in each pair, to make sure neither would end up doing all the work.”
The glance at Heeseung was obvious and, in your opinion, quite scathing. You enjoyed watching him squirm with the tiniest bit of guilt in his expression under Miss Crawford’s gaze. His partner for the project was Kim Seungmin, and you actually couldn’t believe how well acquainted the teacher was with all of your English skills. There had to be so much work outside of school going into all this planning. Not to mention, if anything, Kim Seungmin would never let anything slide, let alone having to do an entire project for Heeseung. He was the type of guy to rather have them both fail.
Jake, although listening to everything that was said, kept staring at you and your beautiful features. The way your hair framed your face. A few strands of hair kept falling into your eyes and he wanted to push it away. Something about this new you was so irresistibly alluring to him that all he could think about was how it would feel to kiss your red-stained lips.
If he had the tiniest bit of a crush on you in the past, then it’s come back tenfold now. He wanted to test how much of you has truly changed. Whether you would accept him now despite being nothing like his other friends. He wasn’t like Heeseung or Jay, the careless kings of the school, and neither was he like Sunghoon, the hot scholarship kid who could figure skate.
Jake was just Jake. The guy who had a whole room dedicated to his collection of expensive Lego and his powerful PC setup to play video games.
Sure, he had hooked up with girls in the past — he was just a guy, after all — but he didn’t want you to be one of those girls. He knew that if he was going to have you, it would have to be something more. He would cherish you and make sure that you were never hurt again (a promise he can’t really keep).
And he’d fuck you so good.
“Let’s start then.” You turned toward Jake to fully face him with a smile on your face. “All of these topics are absolutely ass, but at least they’re standardised.” You spoke, oblivious to the thoughts running through Jake’s mind.
Perhaps for now, it was better that way.
Working on a presentation with Jake was the easiest thing in the world. This was genuinely the first time you took a class and didn’t end up doing all the work on your own because you were the ‘perfect princess’ and ‘teacher’s pet’ who cared about a good grade. And even if your groups did some of the work, it was the worst, least effort possible, type of contribution known to man. So when Jake kept hitting you with ideas about what you could do in your presentation, what could be said, adding more pages to your research, you couldn’t help the incessant need to just plant your lips on his to show your appreciation.
And a part of you thought: you could do exactly that. The library was empty enough with the two of you being among the last students still bothering to stay there. Besides, you noticed the way Jake looked at you. In a way, it was more innocent than whenever you caught Heeseung staring at you, but you knew that the thoughts were all the same.
“I’m tired,” Jake whined, leaning back in his chair to stretch his arms and legs on the seat. “My fingers hurt. Let’s take a short break,” he said, catching the soft smile on your lips.
“We could just go home, Jake,” you pointed out, tapping the screen of your phone to show him the time as if you both didn’t have your laptops open for research.
“I don’t feel like going home yet, though.” Jake licked his lips, shaking his head.
“You like spending time with me that much, huh?” You grinned teasingly, but the genuine look on Jake’s face momentarily shut you up.
“Kinda, yeah,” he replied, tilting his head to the side. “Being with the other guys is still the same thing over and over again. You know how annoying it is whenever they start complaining about their sex lives?” Jake shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Like, I’m not against having a good fuck but they act like they don’t hit it at least once a week.”
“TMI, Jakey,” you said, raising a brow at him. But then something occurred to you, and you wanted to know more. “They complain? What exactly about?”
“Well, Heeseung’s been pretty frustrated lately because, apparently, there’s a girl he wants but she doesn’t want him.” Jake shrugged, completely unaware of what information he was giving you.
You had to suppress your smirk at the thought of Lee Heeseung possibly being frustrated over you. Though his sex life had hardly been boring since the party because Miss Decelis has been diligently reporting on all of his spotted escapades, which included him not-so-discreetly getting out of an empty classroom with some girl from senior year recently.
“Interesting,” you hummed.
“Jay’s been getting shit since fucking a MILF, so yeah…” Jake continued with a shake of his head. “Says all the girls at school are too soft for him, whatever the fuck that means.”
“We both know what that means,” you said, narrowing your eyes at Jake, and he rolled his eyes.
“I’d rather not.”
“Fair.” You nodded, leaning on your elbow as you stared at Jake. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you hooked up with someone recently?” you asked, biting your lip. His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips, and then back up with a gulp.
The way Jake’s cheeks instantly heated up was adorable. He was far from innocent (Miss Decelis knowledge), but he was easily taken off guard, and you liked to take advantage of it.
“Pretty sure it’d be Miss Decelis hot news if I did,” he said.
“Not everyone is caught, Jake,” you pointed out with a lazy smile, moving closer. You doing the flirting was perhaps the most unlikely thing in the world, but you liked discovering this new side of yourself.
“Most of the time, they are,” Jake spoke sagely.
“But we don’t have to be,” you said confidently, leaning in close enough to feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. “I know a well hidden spot in the library,” you added, not divulging further (the only reason you had the secret spot was to hide, back in the days).
“Y/N—” Jake wasn’t sure how to react. On one hand, he absolutely wanted this. But on the other, he was confused as to why. His goal was to possibly make you fall in love with him and this was most certainly not a part of the plan. Not yet, anyway.
You mistook the confusion in his eyes for rejection. Pulling away from him, you pressed your lips into a thin line, cringing in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I suppose you don’t—”
You didn’t finish the sentence with Jake pulling at your wrist to make your lips collide with his. Yours melded into his perfectly, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip in a silent question for permission, and you granted it eagerly, enjoying the heat that consumed your insides as Jake kissed you with fervour.
He had a dream like this once. Actually, he wasn’t sure if he wasn’t dreaming now, having fallen asleep after all the work you two had been doing.
But then you pulled away from Jake, eyes glassy with lust, and you tugged at his hand innocently, like you two were in kindergarten and you wanted to show him the new toy you got for your birthday. Except when Jake let you lead him away from your table, it was to your secret spot. A place entirely covered by shelves with books at the back of the library — the part of it that nobody ever visited unless they were desperate.
You pushed him against the closest wall, planting your lips on Jake’s again, and he reciprocated it gratefully, his fingers tangling in your soft hair. His dick was already hard for you, and you had barely done anything. It was obvious when you leaned into him, and there was something you wanted to try.
Jake whimpered when your lips left his, and his eyes grew wide when you dropped to your knees without warning, undoing the belt of his trousers. “Y/N, what are you—”
You stopped your action mid-pulling his pants down to look up at him. “Jake, if you don’t want this—”
“No, no, no, no, I want this. Of course, I want this, I’ve always wanted this.” He shook his head, breathless and in disbelief over your figure kneeling in front of him.
“Always? That’s a strong word,” you said, a smirk plastered on your lips. But you were curious. So when you pulled down Jake’s trousers and boxers, letting his dick out, you stopped to stare. Mind you, you’ve never seen a dick up close before. This was your first time, and his was majestic. “Define always, Jakey.” You licked your lips at the precum on his tip and kept yourself from leaning in to kiss it.
“Since I met you.” With the air hitting his length, he was growing impatient. He wanted your warm mouth wrapped around it as soon as possible, but you were obviously not going to indulge him until your curiosity was satiated. “I always thought you were cute when we were kids. And then we started high school, and you were beautiful. Remember that time I didn’t approach you at all and you thought Heeseung and Jay got to me? Yeah, I was just scared of talking to you… and then… I mean now… you’re—”
“Hot?” Your brow lifted, and Jake nodded, breathless.
“More than that. You’re ethereal, Y/N.”
“Damn, you really want this.” You giggled, but nothing stopped you from finally kissing Jake’s tip, listening to the pornographic moan that left his mouth at the slightest contact with your tongue. It urged you further, wrapping your mouth around him fully to test the waters and how well he fit in your mouth.
He tasted delicious.
This had to be Jake’s weakest moment. You barely touched him, and he already wanted to cum. But he knew the sight of you with your mouth full of his cum would make for a memory that would last him a lifetime.
You were testing yourself and your limits as you pushed his dick deeper into your throat until you could barely breathe, tears welling in your eyes. But it wasn’t enough, your hands would still have to do the rest. This was a learning experience for you, so after having a few more tastes of Jake, you pulled away to look up at him properly. To see his ruined expression as he still fought the confusion within him with pleasure.
“If I do anything wrong, please tell me,” you whispered, your hand moving to take Jake’s length, stroking a few times. “I’ve never done this before. So let me know, okay?”
Jake could barely speak as his eyes latched onto you, but he nodded regardless. He wanted to say you weren’t doing anything wrong nor were you going to. And he whimpered when he could feel the warmth of your mouth around him again. Though this time, you also incorporated your hand, moving in the same rhythm as your mouth to take care of whatever was too much for you.
“Oh, fuck, yes, Y/N,” Jake breathed out the longer you went on, saliva coating his dick and your fingers. He dug his nails into your hair, but didn’t push, letting you move freely. You didn’t even need him to tell you anything. “You’re perfect,” he managed between moans as he felt the tip of his dick hitting the back of your throat.
His hips moved along with you, and Jake wanted to hold out for as long as possible to make the most of his pleasure and whatever the hell was going on right now.
Your free hand began playing with his balls, and that started to be too much for him. When you palmed him, he wanted to scream your name for the whole library to hear him, but he couldn’t do that. “I’m close, Y/N, holy fuck, just let me—” He wanted to finish outside your mouth just in case, but you didn’t let him go, staring up at him while your lips were still wrapped around his cock, going up and down.
There was silence as Jake interpreted your look. That you wanted to take him, taste all of him. And when he did cum, he had to bite his lip hard to contain himself while you swallowed every bit of his essence, having the most innocent look on your face while he pumped into you to ride out his high.
You concluded doing this was fun. You liked it. You loved the sounds that left Jake’s mouth, trying to be fairly quiet, and you loved the taste of him.
You didn’t expect Jake to drop down to his knees just to capture your lips with his again, tasting himself on your tongue. He cupped both your cheeks, pulling you as close to him as possible.
“I want you so bad, Y/N,” he whispered against your skin, his lips peppering your face with kisses. He went from your lips to your nose, your eyes, your cheeks, your chin and down, to your neck which (thank god) no longer had the marks of your encounter with Heeseung. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
“You could show me, ah,” you moaned when Jake latched onto an especially sensitive spot, sucking on the skin.
“Not here, though,” Jake said, looking around. As stated before, your spot was hidden well, but the last thing Jake wanted to do right now was to debauch you in a corner of a library. No, for what he wanted to do, he needed a bed. “Let’s go to my house when my parents aren’t there.”
“And when will that be?” You grabbed at Jake’s T-shirt when his lips returned to yours.
“I’ll text you,” Jake replied in between kisses. You smiled.
Why hadn’t you thought of this before? Sim Jake was the most perfect of all the perfect candidates you could have to lose your virginity to.
Heeseung wasn’t stupid.
He saw the lingering glances between you and Jake every time you were in the room. He knew something happened between the two of you, and he did not like the idea of it, whatever it was. It was on purpose, when he said: “Anyone know what Y/N’s been up to lately?”
“No. Why?” Jay’s response was immediate, glaring at Heeseung. “Why do you even care?”
“It was just a question, dude. Miss Decelis is shit ass at reporting about her aside from that one vid of her with Yeonjun,” he said, shrugging. That memory still infuriated him.
“Dude, as far as we know, she’s still a virgin and it might be better for her to keep it that way.” Jay shook his head. He cringed at the mention of the local gossip, as she had recently been viciously attacking Jay’s character and pride for the past month.
Heeseung nodded, glancing in Jake’s direction. He was chewing on his bottom lip in thought, but if there was anything that action told Heeseung, it was that Jake had not slept with you.
Good.
“There’s no reason for you to care anyway.” Sunghoon raised a brow at him. “Unless you’re secretly in love with her or something.”
“Piss off.” Heeseung scoffed, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t in love with you. He just… thought of you often. And the night he almost had you if the other guys didn’t appear. In his mind, he was convinced that he could fuck thoughts of you out of his system (except none of those girls were you and he was acutely aware of that). It also led to way too many posts about him on Miss Decelis.
“See, I don’t get why you guys don’t like her so much. She’s nice.” Sunghoon shrugged.
“You’re also obliged to say that because your whole figure skating career is sponsored by her dad’s money,” Jay noted matter-of-factly. It was how you and Sunghoon knew each other even before he got into the Academy on a scholarship (upon a recommendation from your father).
Sunghoon made a face, sticking his tongue out at him. “Cry about it.”
“Why should I? You’re the one suffering,” Jay replied, but the insult to your person was half-hearted, an automatic response.
Neither Heeseung nor Jay were as opposed to you as before. It was a pointless fight regardless as it would be two on two. Though Jake hadn’t said a word yet. Instead, the boy’s focus was on his phone as he feverishly typed his heart away.
Heeseung glared at Jake in hopes of getting his attention, but the blond was too far in his own world, grinning at the screen like a maniac.
You.
He was texting you, Heeseung was more than sure of it, and he had half a mind to snatch the phone from Jake’s hands to (1) see what you two were talking about and (2) to block all your contacts from Jake’s accounts to make sure you couldn’t reach him. Because no sane man would smile so brightly at his phone over some stupid texts.
You had Jake wrapped around your little finger, and Heeseung didn’t know how to stop it from happening. You didn’t necessarily ignore Heeseung, but you definitely didn’t like him, and you really did not care about him pretending that he barely knew you. Not like you did before.
This version of you was so fucking annoying. Even more than before. Because not only could he not get you out of his head, but he knew his friends — and not only them — were all thinking the same. No matter how much Jay pretended, Heeseung noticed the way Jay would usually look around classrooms to make sure you were there and unharmed with a gentleness in his eye that was entirely uncharacteristic of him.
Heeseung could see the way Sunghoon’s eyes kept travelling to you, wanting to talk to you, but not finding the courage or the right words.
As for himself, Heeseung had a hard time dropping the image he had built over the years, so approaching you at school would make people talk, and at home, you wouldn’t even look his way despite visiting his family’s penthouse to see Jeonghyeon or whenever you two ran into each other in the building.
But Jake… it came naturally to him — talking to you. He had been talking to you since middle school, albeit trying to hide it from Heeseung and Jay. They knew anyway.
What was Heeseung going to do about you?
There used to be a time in your life when all you ever wished for was to be invisible. But you don’t anymore. Not when being visible meant people seeing you talk to Choi Yeonjun..
“So, you do know that Heeseung’s, like, obsessed with you, right?” Yeonjun questioned with a raised brow. “I’ve been hearing people talk, and someone said he threatened a guy for talking about you.”
“He’s just being an asshole,” you said plainly, rolling your eyes. “Something about hating the sound of my name around the corridors since he already hears it enough at home or whatever it was he used to say.”
“Nah.” Yeonjun shook his head with a smirk. “See, I know I was out of it but I do remember us almost fucking so excuse me if I do believe Heeseung was jealous,” the boy’s tone was so casual it made you chuckle. It did bring back the memories of Heeseung’s fingers inside you, though, so you shifted on your feet to keep your attention on Yeonjun.
“Okay. So maybe he was jealous. But it was really none of his business. You yourself called him the guy who’s been ignoring me my whole life.” You crossed your arms, pressing your lips in a thin line.
“Yeah but that’s usually what idiots like him do when they’re scared they might actually start liking you.” Yeonjun shrugged. “But anyway, to further prove my point—” he threw his arms up in the air, making several wild gestures to make sure his statement was emphasised enough— “Whoever that dude was, apparently he talked about dicking you down or some shit, and Heeseung didn’t like that.”
“Obviously he wouldn’t,” you said and shook your head. “We grew up together. He doesn’t want to hear stuff like that.”
“You gotta trust me on this, darling. Bro’s jealous as fuck.” Yeonjun nodded vigorously. “My intuition about these things is never wrong. Trust.”
“I think he’d have stopped Jake from talking to me by now if that was the case,” you thought out loud. You may have not lost your virginity just yet, but that didn’t mean you and Jake didn’t find moments alone where you would practise your skill with giving head, or him showing you how adept he was with his mouth and his fingers.
You never realised it was that good to have your pussy eaten out. Jake was always ready to devour you whole, pushing his tongue into you as deep as he was physically capable before using his fingers to satisfy you. And all of this just because he found out you were a virgin and wanted to make sure your first time would be meaningful.
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” Yeonjun chuckled, wiggling his brows suggestively. “I’m kinda hurt you didn’t ask me.”
You slapped Yeonjun’s shoulder. “I’m booked and busy, I fear. Next time.”
“I’ll hold you to that, darling.”
Good morning, Decelis!
I’ve been hearing rumours about Lee Heeseung threatening people over Y/N? What’s all this fuss about? Care to explain yourself, big guy?
XO, Miss Decelis
The video of Heeseung holding a boy’s collar, having pushed him against a wall should not have been so surprising to you. But it was hard to comprehend it. Heeseung had never been a violent type of guy. Usually, he would just have someone else do it for him. But the fact that it was over you?
Unthinkable.
One thing was to hear about it from Yeonjun, another was seeing it with your own two eyes, filmed and posted on social media.
“I called it! Your cousin is totally into our little Y/N,” Ning sang, holding onto her phone with the tweet open and playing while she looked at Jeonghyeon victoriously. “Always knew it…”
“That’s his problem.” Jeonghyeon rolled his eyes, bumping your shoulder with his. “He made sure to completely ruin his chances.”
“At least he’s hot, you know.” Ning shrugged. “It’s the genes or something,” she mumbled, watching Jeonghyeon smile at you, a single dimple adorning his cheeks.
“How are things with Jake going anyway?” he asked you.
“Dude,” you began, putting both your hands on the table for the dramatics. “He’s taking cooking classes for me. He said, and I quote ‘I want to make you dinner when you come over’ and I’ve been losing my mind over it since.”
“Holy shit, it’s that serious for him?” Jeonghyeon’s brow rose.
“Oh my gosh, dude’s in love with you already.” Ning giggled, excited for you. “He was really just holding it in this whole time huh?”
“To be fair, they always had a weird obsession with Y/N,” Jeonghyeon said matter-of-factly. “Even when they were being haters.”
“Jake never was,” you pointed out.
“Neither is Sunghoon,” Ning remarked. “He can’t hate her anyway. For reasons.” She shrugged, and you threw her a nasty eye.
“Obviously I’m only talking about Heeseung and Jay.” Jeonghyeon let out a frustrated sigh, glancing between you and Ning.
“That was not obvious at all,” Ning said.
“Yeah. What she said.”
“I— whatever.” Jeonghyeon ran a hand through his hair.
“Hey guys, what are you talking about?” Jake appeared at your side, sitting down on the bench that you were already sharing with Jeonghyeon. Smiling up at you, he nudged you with his shoulder.
“Oh, you know, the regular stuff,” Ning said, waving her hand. “Heeseung and Jay’s unhealthy obsession with Y/N and all that.” She did not care about who she was talking to in the slightest, grinning when she saw Jake’s discomfited look.
“What?” Jake tilted his head, and Ning raised her arms in defence.
“Don’t kill the messenger, please, Jeonghyeon brought it up first.”
Jeonghyeon glared at her. “I’m just saying that I’ve heard the two of them speak about Y/N more often than is necessary for two people who dislike her. That’s all,” he explained, having first-hand experience from living with Heeseung.
Jake blinked slowly before nodding. “I get what you mean,” he agreed, pursing his lips. “Remember when you first introduced Sunghoon to us?” The blond turned to you, waiting for your nod to continue speaking. “Heeseung and Jay literally pulled up a whole set of rules regarding you and how to act around you.”
“Huh?” You, Jeonghyeon and Ning chorused. None of you knew that.
“He didn’t go along with it, though. Sunghoon.” Jake clicked his tongue and shook his head. “But anyways, that’s not why I came here, actually. I wanted to ask if you wanna join me in the library to look over something I’ve been working on.” Looking at you expectantly, there wasn’t much for you to do but to say yes.
You thought it was code for a makeout session, but it turned out that Jake genuinely wanted to show you something.
“Look! I learned how to make cookies,” he spoke excitedly, showing you the box full of chocolate chip cookies with the largest grin on his lips, proud of himself and his creation. It looked and smelled delicious. “Give it a try, please. I’m still figuring out what to make for our day together this weekend.”
The warmth in your chest was an unexpected intruder, but you couldn’t stop the swelling in your heart caused by Jake’s sweetness. It made you even more angry with Heeseung about missing out on all this simply because Jake had a hard time defying the slightly older guys.
So you picked one and bit into it without hesitation, humming when the sweet taste hit your tongue, the cookie practically melting in your mouth. “Oh wow, holy shit, it’s so good,” you said, taking another bite.
Jake’s cheeks reddened, his smile growing. He tried to drive away his thoughts from wondering whether you would have a similar reaction to his cock inside of you. Totally inappropriate thoughts to have while he was trying to be wholesome. “I had some help from my friend Felix, though. I’m really glad you like them.”
“I don’t just like them, Jake. I love them. Holy fuck, I could eat these forever.” You were already reaching for another cookie, which made Jake laugh softly at how adorable you looked.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked, and you giggled, finishing a bite of his homemade cookies.
“Yes, of course,” you replied, leaning in.
It completely slipped your mind that you were not at your secret place in the library, but a very public part of it.
Good morning, Decelis! I’m officially not bored anymore.
We have Lee Heeseung fighting guys for stepping out of line when speaking about Y/N, and now this? Sim Jake, one of Heeseung’s best friends, was spotted kissing her in the library! Scandalous.
I love it.
XO, Miss Decelis
Sim Jake liked to think he was a confident guy. But suddenly, he couldn’t stop sweating. He had to constantly wipe his hands on his sweatpants when he prepared the table for you, and he worried that you might not like what he cooked. Though the meal was simple. He made ramen with grilled pork belly and a spicy sauce to go along with it because you had mentioned liking it when food had a little kick to it. So he made a sauce by mixing gochujang, soy sauce, gochugaru, a bit of sugar and lemon juice.
Even after two whole cooking lessons from a chef his parents liked, Jake still felt a little lost. But! The kitchen did not burn down, so he deemed it a huge success.
He wanted this day to be perfect for you.
He wasn’t sure why he cared so much, but he just abhorred the idea of you losing your virginity in some random person’s bedroom at a party, or even in the library or an empty classroom where sitting atop a table or a drawer or a bookshelf wasn’t entirely comfortable. Maybe after your first time, but not now.
You deserved better.
When you arrived, your dress was not casual. It was a satin slip-on that entirely revealed your back and wrapped around your neck with a thin strap to hold the fabric over your breasts. You weren’t wearing a bra, and your nipples were visible through the thin fabric, already making Jake wish he could wrap his lips around them.
He didn’t even have enough space in his mind to think about the fact he was severely underdressed in his grey sweatpants and white T-shirt. You didn’t care, though, because all you saw was Jake’s pretty face and your surroundings — the house he grew up in.
It was very light and nowhere near the minimalistic bullshit your parents liked to pull. Instead, the walls of the hallway were lined in photo frames. Pictures of Jake, of his dog Layla, his childhood drawings as well as diplomas from competitions he had won before. It was basically Jake’s hall of fame.
“Please, just ignore it. Let’s go to the kitchen,” Jake said, biting his lip. “My parents are gone for the weekend, and Layla should be napping outside at the moment, so the house is all ours.”
“Sounds good.” You smiled, anticipation coursing through your whole body.
This was it. The big day.
With Sim Jake, who you were starting to care about more than you thought you would. But, figuratively speaking, despite your recent descent into the darkness, you were inexplicably drawn to his light.
He led you to the dining room which had the whole table set up for two with candles and a flower vase in the middle, a pot of ramen and a plate with grilled pork belly to be shared between you.
“Jake, this is—”
“I know it might seem a bit excessive, but I really want this to be special for you,” the blond said, running a hand through his hair while chewing on his bottom lip. You grabbed his hand in yours and smiled brightly.
“It’s stunning, Jake. Thank you for all this,” you said, squeezing his hand. “I’m sure it’s going to be really good as well.”
Jake nodded. He pulled out a chair for you to sit on before seating himself next to you, and neither of you hesitated to dig into the food. As hungry as you were, the empty feeling in your stomach was not due to the lack of food in it.
Watching Jake grab the first piece of pork belly and dip it in the red sauce, you did not expect him to offer it to you, but your eyes softened and you accepted the piece into your mouth. The meat was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, and the sauce had a spicy kick to it with sweetness and a citrusy taste spreading on your tongue. You hummed, closing your eyes to savour the taste.
It was almost unreal. This whole scene of you and Jake eating and talking casually, knowing what was to come. He was such a good cook it drove you insane. And you’d eaten at the best rated restaurants in the country before.
“Thank you, Jake,” you said after the meal was over, and without thinking much about your next actions, you planted your lips onto his, wrapping your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair.
He kissed you back eagerly, his tongue tracing your bottom lip before biting on it, drawing a whimper out of you. You let him take the lead, putting his hands on your waist to bring you closer. Your whole body felt warm under his touch. His hands slid down your body to your bare thighs, and then underneath your dress to harshly grasp your ass. You gasped in surprise, and Jake smirked into the kiss, pulling away from you.
“Let’s go to my bedroom,” he whispered into your ear, his voice a low groan, and the heat that pooled from your stomach to your crotch was nearly unbearable. Jake chuckled when you kept shifting in place in hopes of getting some friction.
What you didn’t expect was Jake lifting you up to carry you bridal style. You yelped, your eyes wide. “What are you doing?”
“Taking care of you, obviously,” he said nonchalantly, and you dared not fight him as he walked towards his bedroom, wherever it was because your mouth latched onto his neck, sucking on the soft skin. You enjoyed the little moans that left his mouth alongside his heavy breaths because he was clearly struggling by the end of the journey.
He never dropped you, though. Not until the only thing you could fall on was his overly expensive mattress with him on top of you. Jake didn’t stay away for long, already ridding himself of his T-shirt to straddle your lap.
He leant down to kiss you, and your hands automatically began roaming the plane of his flat stomach. He had to be working out, at least the tiniest bit. But those thoughts did not matter when Jake’s hands slid under your dress to firmly grip your thighs as he kissed his way down your body. He bit one of your nipples through the dress, and you let out a shaky moan, your hands holding onto any part of Jake.
You wanted to feel his mouth on your bare skin, but he had yet to let you take the dress off. Instead, he hooked his fingers on your lace panties and ripped them off without a single care in the world. (It was your favourite Victoria’s Secret piece.) “I’ll get you new ones, I promise,” he murmured when he looked up at you with his deep brown eyes.
He lifted your dress to reveal your pussy, his mouth latching onto the skin on the inside of your thighs, biting and sucking to tease you, knowing you wanted his lips somewhere else. But there was a devilish glint in his eye as he slowly progressed to the main course. His gaze never left yours, and you gripped the sheets of his bed tightly, preparing yourself for what was to come.
“Just say the magic words, baby, and you can have it all,” he said, sensing your anticipation and the oncoming frustration.
“Please, Jake,” you whispered.
It was enough for his hot mouth to finally come in contact with your wet cunt, his tongue slowly circling your clit. You moaned, a wave of pleasure coursing through you, and Jake hummed at your taste, enjoying every little bit of it, sucking it in.
The sounds that left your pretty mouth were worth more than stars in the sky and enough to make Jake absolutely hard. He enjoyed the sweet taste of you as he tongue-fucked you, keeping your thighs apart to heighten every bit of pleasure you were getting out of this. Your back arched against his mouth, and he kept eating like a man starved, convinced that he would never get tired of you. Of this feeling of your pussy against his mouth, his fingers.
He waited so long to finally know what it would feel like to take you. But he had to make sure everything would be proper for you. That your first time would be so unforgettable he would ruin every other man for you. All of this was his selfish quest to have you for himself only.
And he knew half of his job was done when you came into his mouth, screaming his name and gripping his sheets. For now, he was the only man who knew what this was like. What it felt like to have you scream their name and fall apart for them.
He went in for a kiss afterward, which you reciprocated, tasting yourself. Smiling, he was already reaching into his drawer to pull out a single condom, to make this a safe experience for you. And you let him pull away from you to sit down at the edge of the bed.
It gave you an opportunity to finally take off the dress that was beginning to suffocate you, watching Jake shuffle out of his sweatpants, his cock springing out, looking as beautiful as ever. And you’d finally feel it inside you.
You never saw a man put a condom on before. Your gaze was a bit too intense, but Jake wasn’t bothered by it, grinning at you instead once he was done, noticing that your dress was off. His lips fell apart and his eyes widened as he drank in your bare figure and boobs. You were unreal. Perfect. And waiting for him.
You laid back down on the bed, your head hitting the satin pillows, and you invited Jake in with a soft smile, wiggling your index finger to beckon him over.
You didn’t have to ask twice before he was on top of you again, his eyes never leaving yours. “Make me yours, Jake,” you said, and he thought he might not be able to handle you after all. You bit your lip and moved your hands to his cock, to guide him to your heat as if it was his first time and not yours.
He hated how big of an effect you truly had on him. But he listened, he agreed. He wanted you to be his. So badly.
So he finally made the first push inside you, watching your face the entire time. You chewed on your lip as he slowly went deeper, holding in his own moan at your tightness. You felt so good around him. He could stay like this forever. But this wasn’t about him, and he kept checking on you.
“Is this okay?” Jake asked once his entire cock was buried inside of you, waiting for your body to adjust to him. You only managed to nod, your body moving closer to him. Placing his hands on your hips, he set a slow pace at first.
You whimpered, gripping onto his shoulders with enough strength for your nails to leave dents, but Jake didn’t mind.
Your brain was hazy from the slow movements. The pleasure was incomparable, tinged with the tiniest bit of pain as Jake’s dick moved in and out of your pussy. But the more comfortable it became for you, the less satisfied you were. “Jake,” you said in between moans, bringing his upper body closer to you. “Faster, please.”
It was a command that brought out something in Jake. Hearing you ask him to go faster did something to his brain chemistry, doing exactly what you asked for. His pace quickened, his pelvis hitting your clit relentlessly. It drove you insane how good it felt to have Jake inside of you, to share this moment with him.
A cacophony of skin against skin mixed with your moans echoed through the room. Jake couldn’t stop looking at you, examining every little change in your expression for any kind of discomfort when his movements became harsher, but the pleasure blinding you and your senses was far too intense for you to think of anything else. “You’re taking it like a good girl,” Jake murmured against the skin of your shoulder, and he almost lost his mind when your walls clenched around his dick.
“I think— god, Jake,” you cried out as he continued to repetitively hit the right spot. You clung onto his body like a leech. “I’m— I’m close.”
Jake’s pace remained the same, but he added his thumb, circling your clit to help your release, which came not long after, with you chanting Jake’s name like a spell meant to entrap him with you forever.
He cummed after a few more thrusts with your cunt so deliciously tight around him from the orgasm you were riding off. He planted his lips on yours when it happened, flipping the two of you over so you could be on top of him.
He wanted to sear the sight into his mind, your hair sticking to your sweat-covered face, messy from the pillows, and your lips swollen from how much you bit them.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” Jake let his orgasm-clouded brain run his mouth, and you smiled at him so brightly that it made him think the whole room lit up. But it was just you, really. And the fact that Jake was incredibly fucked up in the head because his heart could not stop beating in his ears.
And this was just the beginning.
Good morning, Decelis! A little birdie has shared something very interesting with me recently. Something that involves a certain princess and our resident Mr. Can’t-Live-A-Day-Without-Getting-My-Dick-Wet.
Oh yes, you’re reading that right. It seems that someone has spotted Y/N with Lee Heeseung doing some filthy things in the back of a car. How cute.
I wonder how old that photo is?
XO, Miss Decelis
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tags! @strxwbloody @starsenha @mitmit01 @chaconadine
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finniestoncrane · 4 months ago
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Hey Finnie! I was curious, do you have any headcanons about the Riddlers being pussydrunk?
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Riddler Headcanons hi hello this took me so long to get to i am so sorry anon lmao BUT ANYWAY i am back with headcanons!! i very much could see this happening to the boys (and it annoying them a lot) 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: oral sex, vaginal sex, hate-fucking, mention of anal sex
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zero year
kind of loser who gets pussy drunk just glimpsing your cunt
kind of dork who presses two fingers in and sucks on them for ten minutes just for your taste
kind of dweeb who gets fully erect and close to cumming just from the smell of your pussy
kind of asshole who hates being pussy drunk because it makes him seem like he lets himself be controlled by it
which is NOT the alpha male attitude he's trying to cultivate
kind of idiot who might decide that since being pussy drunk isn't the vibe he wants for himself
that maybe anal is the way to go from here on out
gotham
pussy drunk is the only kind he'll tolerate since he doesn't particularly like losing control of himself or his thoughts
(all too easy to either... strangle your crush to death or hallucinate your frienemy/soulmate singing to you otherwise)
anyway he's the kind of guy who could spend 30 minutes eating pussy and then come away actually feeling kind of drunk
complete state of happiness, absolute ecstacy
thinking he's king of the world
not making very much sense
but determined to keep going to chase that feeling
arkham
he's the kind of guy who blames it all on you when he starts forgetting what he's doing
which, to be fair, is correct since it's your pussy he's thinking about
unable to go longer than three minutes without thinking about you and drooling when he's supposed to be working hard
so don't be surprised if you're happily minding your own business hours or even days afterwards
and are swiftly interrupted by him coming in to yell at you
for fifteen uninterrupted minutes mind you
before he asks rather sheepishly if you'd maybe just give him a little bit more of what he's got a taste for
just to see if that helps get it off his mind
telltale
oh he hates the effect you have on him
the notion that a simple, very human act that he's performed with multiple partners before could be so different
could make him completely incapable of stringing together a coherent sentence
could impair his reasoning, his general functions, both mental and physical
that his infatuation with you specifically could have him laying on a bed, drooling, empty mind
it's not going to stop him from going through it all again next time though
he's completely addicted
unburied
he'll pretend that he's not affected at all
pull out of you with the same nonchalant attitude as he would have after brushing his teeth or making a coffee
but buried beneath the sarcasm and the dry exterior...
he's losing it completely, and he secretly likes it
the ability to just let himself be kind of stupefied, with an excellent excuse for it?
no wonder he keeps coming back for more, even if he pretends that it's for your benefit more than his
twojar
absolute fuckin hound for pussy, and will go completely catatonic after sex
needs a good few hours of just holding you while he lays there completely still
just contemplating the world and trying to remember how to walk
keeping at least a finger on your body to keep the room from spinning and to make sure he stays grounded
because he over exerts himself, a lot of frantic, passionate, extremely physical work
and afterwards he needs time to recover from it or he'll do himself an injury
dano
he's literally one good pussy away from being cured
like the minute his dick is wet and you're moaning his name he's a changed man
what plans for revenge? what bombs? what weird traps that he built by himself?
who the fuck even is batman?
you're on the news the next day getting the medal of honour from the city of gotham
you saved lives. your pussy saved lives
your mailbox is filled with little homemade greetings cards afterwards
they're addressed to your pussy, not you
btaa
guess who's in a much better mood for the rest of the week?
as much as she tries to ignore it, miss tuesday can always tell when eddie has been with you
because he is far less grumpy and frustrated for quite a while afterwards
it's nice that you have that kind of power over him
but it does make him insufferably optimistic
which means more work for her when he decides that the grand schemes he thought were terrible and too complicated before he got his dick wet
they're now suddenly completely viable, because he is the greatest man to ever live
young justice
get that man to REHAB he is ADDICTED to pussy and he CANNOT handle it
talk about a lightweight, he's ten seconds inside of you and already unable to form a single though
it's a miracle he knows to keep breathing let alone remembering to thrust
he remembers nothing about anything else in life when he's in the zone, either fucking you or eating you out
basic maths? the ability to speak in sentences? gone
it's a good thing you're moaning his name because he might not remember it otherwise
btas
if he gets a particularly good fuck in then you can guarantee that he is out of commission for at least a couple of days
cheerful, whistling, humming tunes, dancing around his office
and the best part of it is that he knows he's happy, but he can never remember the details of why
because he can get blackout drunk on your cunt
all inhibitions lost
he's muttering words and phrases that he never would otherwise, far too lewd for someone classy and intelligent like him
doing things to you that you'd never expect from him, but definitely welcome the next time he decides to partake
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purinfelix · 2 months ago
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possibly, maybe i'm falling for you [ pt.1 ]- joao felix
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summary: when you're asked to train the new barista at work, you don't think much of it until you realise something about him is winning over customers - and it isn't just his coffee. w/c: 1.3k
a/n: this was supposed to be a cute fluffy fic but i'm physically incapable of not writing (one sided) enemies to lovers for some reason
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The tiny bell atop the cafe door rang softly, alerting you to the entrance of a customer. Considering that you weren't meant to open for another twenty minutes, you instinctively recited your practised phrases without even bothering to look up from the counter you were cleaning.
"Sorry, but we aren't open yet! You're free to come back in half an hour though, and we'll be happy to serve you then."
"Oh, sorry, am I at the wrong place?"
Well, that was definitely a new response - polite mutters of embarrassment, groans of annoyance and even fits of rage you were used to after almost two years of working here, but this was new. Looking up slowly from your counter you locked eyes with a tall, almost ridiculously handsome young man. His brows were furrowed in confusion but his mouth sat open in a half-smile, though out of embarrassment or amusement, you weren't sure yet.
"Uhm, sorry?" you said.
"I was told to come in half an hour before my first shift to get trained, am I at the wrong place or something?"
Shit.
So this was the new barista your manager had mentioned to you in passing the last time you had worked a shift. She had asked you to be the one to train him since you'd be the most experienced employee working that morning and even offered to pay you more than normal for it. "Though I'm sure once you get a look at him, you'll forget about the money," her assured words rang through your head, only now your feeling of confusion felt long gone. You had to give it to her, he really was good looking, though that meant little if he couldn't do his job correctly.
"Oh, right! You're ..." you started, trying to jog your memory for his name.
"Joao Felix," you'd be lying if you said you weren't endeared by how quickly he seemed to pick up on your words, "though you can just call me Joao."
"Right, Joao c'mon behind the counter and I can show you where to put your stuff."
He does as you say almost instantly, and as you take him through the basics - uniform requirements, where ingredients are, how to talk with customers - you're impressed by how quickly he picks things up. What you're less impressed by though, is the air of naivety he holds about it all. Doing things perfectly the first time around is one thing, pretending you don't know you're doing it is completely another.
"Now, this is the coffee machine which I honestly think you'll be more adept with than me," you laugh, and he does the same though much shyer, almost as if he's weary of accidentally insulting you.
"Well, I mean I've been taught how to but I'm not really a professional or anything. I'm sure you can't be worse than me."
"I mainly stay around taking orders and preparing non-coffee drinks. Milkshakes and smoothies are my forte, but this bad boy," you explain as you tap the top of the coffee machine awkwardly, "we don't get along too well."
He laughs again, louder and more sure this time and you instinctively smile. "Well, I hope you and I get along better then."
"Yeah," you say, a bit taken aback by how forward he is. "Anyways, that's pretty much everything I can think of, we'll be starting soon so if there's anything you have questions about let me know."
The rest of the morning shift proved easier than you had expected, though a new concern was raised once you realised most of this was due to Joao's uncanny abilities. Not only did he make amazing coffee, but he did it incredibly efficiently - wiping down as he went, communicating on orders and doing almost anything you told him. A small part of you was impressed, but more than anything you felt an immature irritation brewing within you at the fact that, despite it being his first day, he had racked up more tips than you had gotten all week. It confused you - surely his coffee wasn't that good.
"Will that be all today Miss?" you said to an older customer who was coming up to pay.
"Yes, but before I pay," she began, and your eyes widened as she pulled out a twenty-dollar note, "would you give this to that handsome young man over there?"
You were taken aback as you took the note from her, "him?" You gestured to Joao, who was busy frothing milk, though the two of you were the only ones working you had to be sure.
"Yes, his coffee was the best I've had in a while, and," she leaned in, "that face, why I'd pay double the price just to get a look at it!"
You blinked, bewildered, "I'll pass on your tip, thank you ma'am."
Of course. Why hadn't you realised it before? Sure Joao worked well, but that wasn't what had been helping him rack up tips - no, it was that godforsaken face.
"Come again soon ma'am!" you heard him call out as the woman left the cafe, but only you saw the shy smile spreading across her face through the window. Groaning softly you scrunched the note up in your hand as you walked over to him.
"Here, she left this for you," you said, your voice coming out sterner than you had meant it as you pushed the crumpled note to his chest.
"That lady?" God, you hated how clueless he could sound sometimes.
"Yes, she said to give it to you specifically - never mind that I was the one who took her order, wiped down her table, served her."
"Oh, well that's nice of her still, you can put it in the jar and we'll split it later." Somehow this selflessness only annoyed you further.
"Don't be an idiot, it's yours, plus I'm clocking off anyways."
You stormed off, pulling your apron over your head hurriedly, eager to get out of there. It was just your luck that a newbie comes into the cafe you'd been slaving away at for years, and almost immediately outperforms you. That alone was frustrating enough but the fact that he had the nerve to act so kind about it just felt like salt in your underpaid wound. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you emerged from the staff room with a huff. As you turned to punch out from your shift you saw Joao out of the corner of your eye tidying up the counter, straightening topping jars.
"You leaving?"
"Duh," you sighed, motioning to the clock, "my shift finished five minutes ago."
"Oh, well thanks for training me today." You felt your heart twist - despite how selfish it was a small part of you wished he would just stop being so nice to you. That way it might make it easier to dislike him.
"It's nothing, I mean it's my job."
"Yeah but still, I think you did a pretty good job," he smiled shyly.
"Alright," you sigh, beelining for the door - you weren't sure how much longer you could keep up this tantrum, and you were eager to get out of here before you said something too immature for you to mean it.
"See you next time?" The hope in his voice stopped you as you opened the door, the tinkling bell punctuating his words - half a sentence, half a question.
"Yeah sure, and hey just a tip," you turn to him, tone cold, "spend less time flirting with customers and more time actually doing your job."
You whipped your head around, regret filling in you almost as soon as the words left your mouth. Did you have any idea why on earth you would say something like that? No. Were you fully aware that what you just said might risk your job if Joao reported it to someone? Yes. Were you going to turn around and apologise to him though? Absolutely not, but the further you stormed away from the cafe the more you thought about the idea - because maybe then you wouldn't be so filled with regret as you did.
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holy-puckslibrary · 10 months ago
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━ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠.
main masterlist
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pairing(s) — TREVOR ZEGRAS x f!reader (established); JAMIE DRYSDALE x reader; MASON MCTAVISH x reader; trevor x jamie x mason wc — 2.2k synopsis — what better gift on your friends to bestow than the gift that keeps on giving?
note — happy valentine's day, my lovelies!! as my gift to you, i've decided to release whatever the hell this is from the archive <3 i randomly dropped this on patreon post-ficmas '24 because, per usual, i was possessed by the ghost of perpetual horniness! we know it'll happen again, so just know i am totally down to write a follow-up if there's any interest teehee! oh, and to the anons who requested some jd + tz content after the trade (rip), i hope this satisfies the craving!! (and you don't mind masey being thrown in the mix)
and with that... i’ll see myself out 🚶‍♀️
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specific content warnings under the cut.
cw — everyone’s a lil bi because why not, trevor is boyfriend of the year, mason and jamie bickering over whose turn it is to munch, tz + reader are switchy and mason + jamie are bratty and subby, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), accidental edging, trevor being a cocky menace and stirring the pot, and a wee bit of a cliff-hanger bc i'm incapable of controlling myself :-) oh, and the current pet name fixation of the week! + trevor calling himself daddy (once) while being condescending to all parties lolz
“—stop getting in my way.”
"or what?"
silence.
then, an exasperated groan.
“i wouldn’t need to be in the way if you were doing it right.”
the long, drawn-out sigh you hear sounds far away, like an echo from somewhere out in the distance, but you know it's coming from behind you—directly behind you.
your boyfriend abandons the soft curves of your chest, which you vehemently protest with a petulant mewl, to massage the tension building between his eyes; if he’d known this would turn into such a headache, he never would’ve suggested this.
“clock’s running, boys. if you wanna waste your very limited time between my girl’s pretty legs bickering with each other, be my guest.”
jamie and mason exchange a glare, united in their distaste for their friend’s tone and attitude in spite of their sudden animosity toward one another.
a pretty girl could do that to a friend group.
only, you haven’t come between the trio in the way one might assume. you might’ve been the catalyst in jamie and mason’s current strife, sure, but that's where your meddling begins and ends. no, you’ve come between them in more of a physical sense, at the behest of your boyfriend and their best friend.
trevor zegras veered toward possessive—territorial, even—most days, but, tonight, he’s feeling strangely generous. it is the season of giving, after all. however, his kindness hardly felt like a gift anymore. the gesture lost its luster soon after the silky ribbon was untied and discarded... and the bitching began. charity work would be a more apt descriptor, in his humble opinion.
he’s expecting an edible arrangement from the ladies of orange county in the near future.
but if anyone deserves some compensation, it's most definitely you, and trevor has just the shiny something in mind. what was originally intended to be the crown jewel of your holiday gifts will now function as a “thank you letting my friends use you as a practice dummy” token of appreciation.
“guess we also need to teach you to share,” you huff, exhausted from the accidental edging and frustrated by trevor's shifted attention.
the worst part is that you don’t think they’re perceptive enough (or have enough experience with a woman’s body, even) to see the agony, the by-product of their inadvertent torture, smeared plainly across your dazed and dewy face. your boyfriend's best friends have unintentionally dragged you to the brink of insanity, and you're reluctantly hanging on by a fragile thread.
said boyfriend's lips caress your temple. “can’t say i blame them. with you freshly unwrapped—just out of the box—and all... i wouldn't know how to share you, either.”
eager is a nice way of putting the boys' behavior thus far, but selfish is a more befitting adjective for their uncoordinated fervor.
two interesting things to note since you were spread wide—presented—to your boyfriend’s closest friends and collegues. the first being that while jamie is enthralled by the way you clench around his lithe fingers, mason favors his mouth; and second, trevor’s harder than a rock from showering his friends with the same domineering aura usually reserved for you in the privacy of your shared bedroom.
(or, the backseat of his car. the abandoned lifeguard tower beside the pier and, on occasion, the recently refurbished dressing room.)
mason also enjoys spitting on your sensitive bits more than he’s comfortable with, the apprehension bright in his eyes. but, watching the run-off of his saliva and your syrupy arousal drip onto jamie’s fingers before both are shoved into your heat is too distracting to pay any mind to the internal chaos of unearthing a new and unforeseen kink.
what jamie lacks in skill and experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm. for all his bashfulness, jamie drysdale is not shy about finger-fucking.
momentarily sat on his haunches, mason watches with feverish intent as his friend curls your toes with the simple curl of his marriage and middle, his pinky and pointer fingers splayed wide to keep his eye on the prize, sight unimpeded by plush, silky distractions.
no bells and whistles, just diligence.
soon, watching ceases to satiate the burly man and mason slips his own thumb into the mix. with his lips or his tongue—or his fingers, it now seems—mason mctavish is obsessed with your clit.
trevor shoots him a knowing wink; that's his favorite part, too. never do you make prettier sounds than when you’re having that special, highly-responsive bundle tended to. fingers, tongue, trevor's thigh... it doesn't matter, you fall apart all the same.
mason nudges jamie to one side and, much to your surprise, he goes without a fight this time, still stroking you closer and closer to the summit.
with his greater access, mason leans down. his nose splits duties with his thumb as he places wet, open-mouth kisses on your inner thighs, mons pubis, and, finally, the coveted pearl throbbing for affection. his mouth wraps around the little bud before pausing. he looks up for approval.
from trevor.
with the dip of his chin and a peck to your balmy cheek, your boyfriend encourages his best friend to suck on his girlfriend's clit.
mason needs no further coaxing. he alternates between suction and kitten-licks; his tongue was beginning to feel left out. all the while, jamie’s devoted fingers keep you pleasantly teetering on the end.
it's amazing the difference time and a little scolding can make.
“i think you’re enjoying this a little too much, bunny.”
“—m’sorry,” you whimper.
his warm, familiar chuckle fills your ear as he strokes your cheek. “i’m only teasing. you know how much i love watching you get all worked up. and, this way, i get to sit back and enjoy the view while they do all the dirty work.”
your eyes roll back, and his amusement grows louder.
“maybe, we’ll do this again? i wonder how fast they could get you off when they already know how the tricks.”
a raw, guttural sound claws past your lips.
trevor growls into your neck between love-bites. “you’d like that, wouldn’t you, greedy girl? is my mouth not enough for you—y’need my friends’ too? such a slutty little bunny i have..."
"no—only want y-you."
it comes out in a few, demure hiccups, the clarity of your protest impeded by those and the frantic shaking of your head.
your boyfriend can't help but twist your mind when you're like this, too weak and preoccupied by pleasure to give him any lip. his brat's gone sweet, fully subdued. and now he can have a little fun.
“—i know, i know. no need to get all worked up over nothing, silly girl. but it wouldn't matter much if you did, though, right?" the hand cradling your chin moves your head in agreement; he knows you're too far gone—too fucked out, to function. "no, it wouldn't because daddy doesn't share his toys. he needs you all to himself."
in this moment, you aren't sure if trevor loves or loathes you.
“lost your voice, bunny? you’re strangely quiet for a slut i know is close. i can hear it, and i know you can too. we all know you're fucking soaked. go on, don't be shy. i think their good behavior has earned them some praise, hm? doin' so good at following my directions—almost as obedient as you are, pretty thing. be sweet, then you can cum all you want."
his words, coupled with the overstimulation between your bent and parted knees, send your brain down a cloudy, all-consuming spiral. too overwhelmed by the boys kneeling at your altar, you can hardly string together cohesive thoughts, let alone speak adequate praise for their efforts.
...as if trevor expected anything out of your mouth other than garbled, pathetic mumbling anyway.
not to mention, jamie found the spot that makes you see stars on the ceiling as his best friend was busy whispering filth into your ear, and he's been bullying it with his deft fingers—three of them now, buried down to the knuckle. he gives it a short, purposeful rub just to show off his treasure.
you shriek and buck your hips into mason's waiting mouth. as his head dips back down to nestle against you, the angle of jamie's fingers changes and your vision blurs just a tad.
trevor's amusement thunders in your ears as he keeps you from shying away from the new sensation, an arm looped around your waist keeping you tight to his bare chest. and good thing, too, seeing as mason's tongue slips in between jamie's fingers not a second later.
they're right and truly pleasuring you now, and you can't wait a second more.
you surrender.
and, as promised, you show them what real moans sound like from a woman—not that fake shit they subject you and trevor to through the walls on a semi-regular basis.
the sounds of you ripping at the seams spur them on, and it's starting to get difficult to discern who's to blame for the puddle beneath you. this are sloppier and more obscene than ever, and you're loving every single second of it, you almost feel like this is your gift and not theirs.
—which is why you nearly write it off as a trick of a pleasure-drunk mind.
you feel it against your sopping, swollen folds before they notice it themselves; in electing to run their tongues up and down the same path at the same time, their mouths mingled along the way—and continue to do so. the delicious, foreign sensation of their mouths tangled in a clandestine dance buys your silence. and easily.
sooner or later, they’d realize and your fun would mostly likely cease—they've never given any indication of feeling either way—and you weren’t about to speed the process along, especially not when you have the pearly gates in sight.
trevor's won't call attention to it either because he's enjoying it as much as you are. maybe more. he's twitching like crazy against the small of your back, and each time jamie and mason convene between your knees, his hips shamelessly rut into you softness like a feral dog.
he nudges you, warm lips against your cheek. "look."
giving your head a downward tilt, his firm hand directs your attention to the object of his—your boyfriend isn't the only one seeking respite by way of aimless grinding.
mason and jamie have their hips flush to your bed, their burning, sweat-stained cheeks glued to your inner thighs, one slightly scratchier than the other—the best of both worlds. their eyes are nearly black with lust. their frantic movements are more pleasure-seeking than precise, driving into the wrinkled sheets with just one thing in mind.
you've never seen anything quite like it before, and your body reacts in kind.
naturally, trevor sees the signs before anyone. he knows your body best, something he takes great pride in. you'd wager he knows more about what makes you tick than even you do. he's put in enough hours, that's for sure.
trevor doesn't bother disgusting the desire weighing on his voice, "beg."
your lips part as if on cue. your boyfriend (selfishly) indulges your pitiful little whines and repetitive pleas—he'll never pass up an opportunity to rub his handiwork in envious faces—but, eventually, he cuts you off before you get too far into the bit.
"—not you, silly bunny. them."
aghast, mason rips his mouth away and you whine at the sudden loss. jamie strokes your walls sympathetically.
"you're joking."
"does it sound like i'm joking, mctavish? you're lucky i'm even letting you see her like this, let alone touch what's mine, and it's a fucking privilege to watch her cum. convince me that you've earned it."
you weren't expecting to find it so erotic, the power trevor wields over them. you're no stranger to his persuasive prowess; his commands alone were enough to get you off some nights. but this is different, and markedly so.
watching him command his best friends—his friends, reducing them to docile creatures eager to eat from the palm of his hand with words alone, is what tips you over the edge.
their persistent chorus of compliance is swallowed entirely by your wanton cunt, but that was by design.
trevor always knows what you need.
when the dam in your abdomen fractures alongside your voice, he holds your wrists tight to his bare thighs, preventing you from grounding yourself in either of his friends' messy mops or finding purchase anywhere on his body. he can't have you distracted. he needs you to enjoy every second of it. your full, undivided attention must be on the pampering you're receiving, and the tender care with which his friends provide it.
it's okay if you're too weak—of mind, body or both—to make that happen for yourself. your boyfriend is more than willing to pin you down as you ride out your first high of the night. happy to, really.
on the come down, jamie rubs light, lazy circles over your sore, swollen clit almost apologetically. mason laps up your release because it'd be a crime to waste a drop—trevor made that abundantly clear earlier in the night. once he's drunk you dry, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
"i think i could, um, use a bit more practice?" he announces bashfully—as if he didn't just make you squirt into his mouth.
jamie perks up at his side, fingers and lips still shiny. he's savoring the fruit of their labors like a precious delicacy, knowing it could be the last time he gets a taste. dark lashes shy and fluttering, his puppy-dog eyes blink up at you. "me too."
a wicked smirk forms on trevor's face; they see it, you hear it.
"gentlemen, how's your stroke game?"
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sidsinning · 1 year ago
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the movie aint better ya goofs (don't read if you don't wanna hear my slander lol,,,)
"Movie!Gabriel is better than show!Gabriel because he actually cares for his son and gets redeemed"
istg this fandom's obsession with redemption needs to END
Morally better character ≠ better writing
Can I just get a piece of media that tells kids "hey, ur abusive parent was an asshole, and even if they had humanity you do not need to reconcile and forgive them in the end" bc I feel like that's what show!Gabriel leans towards which is great
Gabriel barely talks to Adrien in the movie and suddenly when he sees him under CN's mask his entire reign of terror, his determination to see his dead wife again ends in a tearful hug lmao come on now
("but the ending where Adrien suddenly loves his dad again???"- Astruc has been pretty blunt on Twitter that this perfect society you see in S5's ending is built off of a lie, so Adrien is def not gonna just keep that view)
"Adrien actually stands up to his dad in the movie!"
Movie!Adrien is legit a normal human boy, not a sentimonster who is literally physically incapable of fighting back against whoever has his amok
He DOES fight back (even in S1 as CN!), but people like to remember the show only up to S3. Guess what, he learns to fight back and stand up for himself through his growing bonds and relationships with those around him through character development ✨✨✨
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Also, he is an abused kid??? In the show?? How can you knock him down a peg for not fighting back,,, 😭 Adrien's lesson isn't that he needs to learn how to fight back, it's that Nathalie shoulda called cps sooner!!! In the movie they are much more of an estranged father-son pair than anything abusive. So obviously the back talk is much easier too. Movie!Adrien gets to go out alone and with friends unless his dad has specifically planted an enemy where he is. Show!Adrien has been beaten, mind controlled, forced to hurt Marinette, isolated and locked up, etc.- he has been TERRIFIED of his dad multiple times.
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"Marinette isn't an obsessive stalker in this!"
SIGH.
Man I am so sick of this complaint- the show has never rewarded Marinette for her obsessive behavior. BC IT IS A CHARACTER FLAW. One they use for cringe comedic purposes, but a flaw nonetheless. Every time she has done anything that hurts others in pursuit of Adrien she is punished by the writers. And bc the show has an episodic monster-of-the-week format, this plot is recycled a lot (which is its own complaint). And guess what? SHE STOPS BEING OBSESSIVE. YEAH. SHE STOPS DOING THAT SHIT- so what do you want now??? She grew out of it after it costs her the miraculous so why tf are yalls still hurling this at her like its a L,,,,
This Marinette is just a watered down boring version of show!Marinette. She's just a girl who gets insecure at times but grows confident bc she's Ladybug. Ok. So is our Marinette but MORE. Our Marinette is super smart, creative, resourceful, an overthinker, extremely kind and selfless to others, gets jealous and reckless when her emotions get the better of her, etc. She is fully formed even after watching just 3 episodes of S1.
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Like the fact that they didn't even bother to include the oh so important hook of the show- her lucky charm power- shows they didn't care about doing this story justice- its so transparently lazy writing 💀 (miraculous of creation where??? CN gets cataclysm for destruction but what is movie!LB bringing to the yin yang table,,,)
Legitimately all the comparisons I'm hearing from people saying the movie is better are from those who just aren't caught up with the show where Marinette is no longer toxically obsessive with Adrien, where the plot/lore is insane but 10000000x better and more creative than what the movie gave us, the love square was much better developed EVEN FROM JUST THE ORIGINS EPISODES, etc. Istg these people stopped at S3 where the show was at its worst (if I were to pinpoint it)
Everything is so watered down or changed for the worse
Adrienette bonding was 1 conversation and 2 seconds about his mom in a voiceless montage. Marinette didn't fall for him bc of his kindness after a misunderstanding, it was bc he looked handsome in the library's light lol. He called her weird and didn't think twice about putting on his earphones to listen to more alpha podcasts. You really do wonder why she likes this dude over her partner CN bc they have no connection at all.
Movie!Adrien was an asshole don't you dare do show!Adrien dirty by comparing him to this ellen degeneres alien lookin mf
When movie!Adrien is crying after Mari reveals herself as LB, unlike the show, here you're like "yeah no you only like her now bc she's LB lol"
Anyways feel free to enjoy what you enjoy but uuuuuhhhh this movie getting a 3/10 for me would not rewatch
Oh wait the good things
-Visuals
-Some Ladynoir scenes were cute, like them playfully fighting with the accidental wall pin
-I liked Ladybug moving away from CN's kiss- nice hint of angst
-Chloe's coffee stain scene
-Luka cameos were cute
songs were bad or mid
ya das it
I guess feel free to talk to me in my inbox about your own thoughts if you wish (respectfully plz)
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whore-ibly-hot · 1 year ago
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I feel like I’m so late to the party, considering how long ago your stories/lastest asks were written about Joey, the farm boy. My question is how lenient would Joey be letting Y/N be a stay at home house wife/mother? Like we refuse to do any hard outside labor/farm work at all. Inside life all day. And we aren’t doing completely nothing, we’re still working, doing domestic work, taking care of the babies/children, etc. But even after the kids are more grown up and are like teens, can we still just like…vibe inside safely? (I’m sorry I’m pretty much a vampire who is incapable of any physical labor. I much prefer baking and indoor activities than outside ones).
I love your stuff! <3
Oh yeah! Joey for sure is fine with a darling who stays inside. It actually plays into his domestic fantasy very well, and he likes to come in from the field and see his partner coddling a baby or making him lunch.
Even if you don't do domestic activities at all out of spite and anger towards him, he'll still coddle you like a baby. It's enough for him to know your back at the house, safe and sound.
If it's because physical labor is hard for you, he'll be extra gentle during sex, make sure your always taken care of and not to sore. He will try and restrain himself from play wrestling or picking you up, but it's hard for him. He just loves you so much, he doesn't know his own strength.
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writtnbyhan · 1 year ago
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seungmin comforting insecure reader? im feeling a bit weird rn and would rlly like some comfort writing:(( its fine if not !!
hi!! I rushed to write this as quickly as possible and I really hope it brings you some comfort, whatever little it may be. You have no idea how happy it makes me that you chose me to write your comfort writing because I understand what it feels like to need some and !! to be able to provide it !!!! I swear to you you've made me the happiest by asking this, and I hope I can give back a little bit of that happiness with my silly little words :(
also, I really hope it was what you expected ?? I didn't want to put too much focus on what makes reader insecure because I know it's something different for each one of us and I tried to keep it as generic as possible. I hope you like it and I hope you're feeling better <3
word count: 1319
You’re awfully quiet, and Seungmin is quick to notice. Normally, you joke around with him, you laugh at his jokes even when they’re really lame, you shine when you’re happy, and the difference is evident for him. Not that you’re not as beautiful as always, but the quiet and the lack of smile is noticeable, at least for him.
He decides not to comment on it for a while, assuming you’ll tell him if you want to share. But when enough time has passed, and you’re laying on the couch next to him, watching a movie, he breaks. Your attention is clearly somewhere else, you’re lost in thoughts and your face makes it evident that the thoughts on your mind are not precisely happy ones.
“Baby?” he asks, and he knows something’s wrong when that doesn’t get your attention. “y/n?” he asks again, his voice almost a whisper, worry gnawing at his chest.
You look at him, and your eyes are glossy like you’re fighting hard not to spill the tears that have gathered in your eyes.
“Oh, baby.” He sounds so sad for you, and he extends his arm, an open invitation for a hug. Usually, you’d be quick to accept and cuddle him, but today… Yeah, today is an exception.
You shake your head and the tears finally fall. You don’t intend them to, but they apparently don’t let you control them anymore. They’re spilling from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks, and leaving you naked and vulnerable in your boyfriend’s eyes. You hate crying, but you hate crying in front of him more. You know his heart is breaking by the way he looks at you like he’d gladly take all of your pain and carry it for you (he would).
He waits, his arms still open. It is evident on his face that he doesn’t know what to do. He always respects your boundaries, especially when it comes to physical touch and when or when it is not welcomed. You’re not a big fan of PDA, and neither is he, so he’s always asking before doing something, sometimes even when you’re alone. It is endearing. Today, though, you can tell he’s doubting whether he’s doing the right thing or not.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” his voice is on the verge of breaking, and you cry harder. Why, why would he worry this much? Why would he care? Why should he care? Why does he care? You surely don’t deserve a boy like him.
You shake your head again and sigh. A voice in the back of your head reminds you of the importance of communication in a relationship, and you curse at it, even when you know it’s true. You sigh again.
“Why?” You say finally, only able to voice the only word repeating in your mind. He looks confused, and the look is so endearing you almost want to laugh through the tears; you’re incapable of actually doing so, though. “Why me?” You say, voice quieter now, more weak. His eyes soften, and you think he’s beginning to understand.
He’s patient. He doesn’t push. He doesn’t answer the question because he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. He’s waiting for you to actually ask something he can answer.
“Why choose me, when you can have anyone?” The question is whispered, but it sounds so loud in Seungmin’s head, resonating against its walls, and he wants to scream just to quiet it.
For your ears, though, he only gasps. His arms lowered when you started speaking, and his hands twitched as soon as you finished voicing the question. He wants to hold you. He wants to cry himself, but he forces himself to remain strong to provide you with that strength.
“Because I want you,” he says, like it’s obvious. “I always want you. I don’t care who I could have, as long as I have you, I don’t care about anyone else.” He’s looking directly at you, trying to get his point across.
You look down, staring into your lap while the tears fall.
“It’s just…”
He waits. He waits so patiently, even though he’s growing desperate to hug you and reassure you. He waits, because boundaries or whatever.
“It’s just that sometimes, when you’re doing promotions…” you hide your face behind your hands as your crying becomes more intense. “I just think… you deserve one of them, you know, an idol who can dance and sing and who looks so pretty and so tiny and… I can’t ever be that. No matter how hard I try, I’m me and you just deserve so much better than I can be.”
Your tears are falling freely, the waterfall has opened and it’s clear it doesn’t plan on closing soon.
“y/n,” he says, he’s worried and he’s serious, and you fear you might have made him angry because the serious look on his face is unusual. “Listen to me, and listen clearly: I want you.” He enunciates the words, pronouncing each one loud and clear. “I don’t care about them, I chose you because you’re you, and that’s exactly what I want. And I deserve exactly that: what I want. What I want is you.” He is the one to sigh now. “I can’t even look at other people, baby. You’re the prettiest person my eyes have ever laid upon – and I say this while seeing Hyunjin every day, you know.” He laughs at the last part.
You laugh a little, too, even if it’s weak. You want to believe him, even if your fears are stronger today. You know he means what he says, even if you can’t understand how he can mean it.
His touch is barely there when he reaches for your hand, trying to take them out of your face. “Let me wipe your tears, please. I’ve got you, baby, I’m right here.”
You let him lower your hands, but you still keep your gaze fixed on your lap. His touch is still featherlike when he softly caresses your chin, indicating for you to look up. You do, your glossy eyes meeting his, not as glossy as yours but almost there.
“I’m sorry. I’m being really difficult today. I’m sorry” 
You’ll never not be amazed by Seungmin’s ability to understand what’s going on around him, by his tuned senses for everyone’s needs. So, it is still a surprise when Seungmin notices you getting barely closer and extends his arm towards you. You welcome the invitation, now, and pretty much throw yourself to him, his hold so strong, like he wants to hold you tight enough that it’ll fix everything broken inside you.
“Don’t apologize for needing some help every now and then. It’s okay to need reassurance, and I’m always willing to give it to you – you make this world better. . . you make me better. So please, let me help you when you’re getting in your head like this. I’m here for you, today, tomorrow, the day after that… even in 2065 when you’re all old and wrinkly, I’ll be by your side.” He gives a small kiss on the side of your head, and you let out a small chuckle.
“I love you so much, Seungminnie,” you say, quietly, into the dark room as the credits to the movie you were watching start rolling.
“I know,” he says, rocking you slightly. “Now, I’m going to put on another movie and you lay your head on my shoulder and try to sleep. It will all be better tomorrow when you wake up next to me.” You nod, doing as he says while he puts on a Disney movie. You turn your head to give a small kiss on his shoulder, and he chuckles. “I love you too, by the way.”
He’s right. Everything's better when you’re next to him, and you hurt a lot less when in between his arms.
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ch-4-eri · 6 months ago
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You Right — Claire Redfield.
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claire X fem!reader.
warnings: cheating, language, smut, again cheating. (i don’t condone cheating it’s just for fun babes) proof read ish sorry for any mistakes in advance.
word count: 2k.
original request <3
i wanted to write something different than what i usually do, so here we go i guess, do not cheat on your partners i don’t want any of you in my inbox yapping about this.
you were dating Chris Redfield for a few months now, you met him at a bar and you both talked and a had good time, exchanged numbers which made you both communicate more, hang out more.
until he finally asked you to be his girlfriend, and you agreed. you liked him a lot and he was so sweet, so good to you.
that certainty didn’t last long, not when you’ve met his sister.
he always mentioned her, his younger sister this, his younger sister that.
she’s his only family left and you expected the said younger sister to be this very tiny cute girl, with pigtails or something.
but the second your eyes fell on her, her blue eyes, her red hair, your jaw actually dropped. causing Chris's sister; Claire Redfield to look at her brother from your sudden reaction before you composed yourself and cleared your throat.
you greeted her normally but oh boy was she gorgeous.
you were physically incapable of looking away from her, forgetting you had a boyfriend, she was like a walking flame that caught your attention with her red hair and her red shirt, it was like a dream you can’t wake up from.
not only was she beautiful, she was nice and attentive, she had interesting conversations with you, shared her interests and even told you about her life and her job.
you listened to every word, your attention hadn’t faltered one bit.
as days went on, you caught yourself falling more and more for her, it wasn’t helping she was your boyfriend’s sister, Chris involved Claire in almost everything, and you didn’t even mind she came; you loved seeing her. and she was always so excited to spend time with you.
your heart was torn, you were terrible for dragging chris in this mess, he didn’t deserve this, you knew that.
each time Claire comes to your mind at first, you’d think of Chris and how guilty you are but now he slips your mind, you wouldn’t give him as much thought as you’d think of his damn sister.
her beautiful red hair, you always fantasised about how it would feel in your hands, how soft her lips would feel against yours.
that voice of hers whispering into your ear… you immediately shook your head, looking at the space next to you; Chris filling it with his tired snores and his arms holding the pillow.
you slipped out of bed silently, leaving to the kitchen.
only to find Claire there, she was watching something on her phone as she ate some… salad?
was she up and making food for herself at this hour?
“hi.” you broke the silence, feeling embarrassed as you were just imagining kissing her, it seemed as if felt worse now that her hair was splayed down her shoulders when you’ve always seen her with a ponytail.
“oh, hi!” claire chuckled while she chewed, her blue eyes falling on you.
your cheeks reddened as you turned to the fridge while trying to ignore how beautiful she was.
your boyfriend was right there, her damn brother.
your palms were sweating as you looked for a bottle of water. “can’t sleep?” Claire asked, her body still leaning over the counter as the corner of your eye caught a glimpse of her ass peeking out of her shorts.
you’ve always noticed how cheeky her tone was, even when she wasn’t trying.
it frustrated you, everything about her did.
“no, you?” you finally responded, taking a long sip of water. your eyes glued to her hair, red strands over pale skin, your eyes seeking out every inch of her noticing her bra strap had also been red.
you assumed her wardrobe had only one colour, red did suit her and it was damn tempting. “nah.” Claire said, taking another bite from the salad she had in front of her. “want a bite?” she asked, her tone that same cheeky one that made you throb and ache.
Claire stabbed some vegetables on her fork, pulling it upwards for you to taste. you assumed she'd made it, and she wanted you to taste something she made.
you placed the water bottle aside, moving your mouth to take a bite, it was too salty, making your eyes close and your teeth clench, nose scrunched.
“too much lemon zest?” Claire giggled, continuing to eat.
“uh— yeah… burned my tongue.” you chuckled, taking another sip of water to get rid of the sting. all while Claire ate it like she’s immune to the saltiness of it.
“Chris asleep?” she asked, finishing up the rest of the salad, putting the bowl in the sink. “chris? oh, yeah he is..” you replied, forgetting you had a damn boyfriend, you needed to pull yourself together.
you leaned against the counter as you watched her wash the dishes, some knives and spoons, she’s probably a messy cook.
why would it matter when she had that ass? you couldn’t help but stare as a question popped into your head. was she single? is someone lucky enough to kiss her every night? lucky enough to wake up next to her?
could you be that lucky one? despite all the consequences that you’d have to face if you were stupid and impulsive enough to make a move, just hold her waist and kiss her until you couldn’t breathe, even with your boyfriend asleep in the same house.
her red hair glowed like a crown underneath this lighting, she was perfect, she’d bring you on your knees if she wanted, or if she asked.
“Claire, do you have a boyfriend? i.. i never asked.” you stammered, dreadful of her answer before you even asked the lingering question that wouldn’t leave you alone.
“no, no boyfriend.” she chuckled, her head turning to look at you before continuing to wash the dishes and place them aside to dry; wiping her hands with a cloth.
it’s like a blanket of relief was placed over you, thank whoever the fuck was listening, you’d be hypocritical for this.. you knew, you were the one with the boyfriend, yearning for your boyfriend’s sister like that was not your proudest moment.
but Chris wasn’t on your mind right now, probably would go hours without thinking of him. in fact you couldn’t care less about him when Claire stood there within arm’s reach, you just needed a push.
Claire washed her mouth and her hands as she turned to look at you. “trouble in paradise?” she asked, making you shake your head, it’s a valid question, there was only trouble on your side, even though Chris was perfect.
“just small arguments..” you lied, you and chris never fight, maybe because you don’t bother having fights with him when your heart is not fully in it, even when you sleep together you’re thinking of his sister as you’re cumming.
Claire tilted her head, thinking of a response. “it’s okay, you’ll work it out, he loves you.” she says, going closer to you, her hands taking yours into hers.
it’s just friendly comfort, but your heart spasms in your chest at the feeling of her fingers in your hands, fucking dream come true, what’s happening?
“he cares about you.” Claire adds, but you weren’t listening, your brain revolved around her, just her.
your hands squeezed hers, the feeling so overwhelming you're losing your grip on your logistics, losing control in yourself.
it didn’t take much from you to actually let go of all rationality to place your lips on top of hers, your hands holding her waist as you pulled her closer to you, Claire’s mouth involuntarily opening as your tongue tasted her.
you felt her trying to push you away with her fingers tangled into your shirt as she hesitated, her mouth deliciously turned the favour yours was giving.
“s-stop..” Claire moaned, your lips attacking her neck in soft kisses, your hips pushing into hers against the kitchen counter. “i can’t.. i want you.” you were a mess, you’ve lost it, Claire’s going to hate you, Chris is going to hate you, everything was done for.
but all you cared about is how good her kisses taste, how her legs wrapped around your waist as she sat on the counter, your fingers squeezing at her breasts as she kissed you with that same passion you’ve been yearning for from her sweet lips.
her hand slipped into your shorts, her fingers founding your clit as you jolted. “you think i didn’t notice the way you’re looking at me?” she whispered, shoving two fingers up your soaking wet pussy, your back arched as she thrusted them hard into your core, the tips of her fingers reaching up that spot that made you see stars.
“i noticed everything, i know everything… you’re a terrible girlfriend you know that right?” Claire fucked her fingers into you, finding her insults so delicious.
you weren’t hiding anything anymore, it felt so good to be filled up with the girl that wouldn’t leave your thoughts for months, you adored her even with her blue eyes staring at you in disgust, all while finger fucking you in her brother’s kitchen.
Claire chuckled breathlessly at how silent she got you, you were rocking your hips with the rhythm of her slender fingers as they kept thrusting and swirling into you, you were a whimpering mess. “you’re so fucking tight.” Claire groaned, adjusting her fingers as they felt sucked in by your cunt.
“jesus sweetheart, you're sucking my fingers in.” Claire cursed under her breath some more, thrusting her fingers against your throbbing pussy as you clenched around her once more. “fuck! can you even take dick? does my brother fuck you?” she asks in frustration, her eyes staring into yours, waiting for an answer as you felt tongue tied and embarrassed.
she was seriously not complaining about how tight you were.
“yes…” you breathed, your breathing shuddered as she tried to move her fingers deeper, clenching even more. “yes? no fucking way does he fuck you.. you’re so fucking tight..” claire complained, adding another finger to stretch you out, her fingers stretching inside of you as you mewled out, biting your lip.
“god i wish i had my strap with me… i wanna stretch you out so bad..” she groaned, her face scrunched up in anger.
her fingers were thrusting inside of you now with the added third finger, you were as limb as a doll, letting her deal with you as all you did was moan and mewl into her shoulder.
“Claire, i’m so close…” you gripped her waist as a sensation bubbled up inside of your core, a knot ready to come undone in your lower belly.
“she finally speaks, i doubt you’ve got fucked princess.. you’re so fucking tight and you’re irresponsible… you wanted me that bad huh? is my brother that terrible at sex or are you just that needy?” she thrusted her fingers deeper, touching that spongy spot inside of you as you trembled from head to toe, panting out her name.
“fuck! claire—..” you shouted, squirting all over her fingers and your clothes, you made a mess, making claire’s eyes wide in shock and satisfactory.
“god you’re a fucking slut.” Claire grumbled, pulling her fingers out of you in case Chris woke up at the shouting.
Claire went and immediately cleaned the mess you made with your squirt on the ground.
the loss of her fingers inside of you made you ache, you missed it already, you were a goner; not thinking straight as you grabbed some tissues with your shaking hands, wiping your thighs.
Claire finished wiping the floor as she washed her hands, turning to face you. “we’re okay, he didn’t wake up… go to bed, we shall not talk about this again… ever.” Claire warned, her blue eyes burning into yours.
“don’t be fucking stupid, hm?” she adds, squeezing your cheek and shoved your face away causing you to stumble on your feet, gripping the counter as she walked out of the kitchen, leaving you there a trembling mess.
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rosypenguins · 3 months ago
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🍃🌸Green Gang Headcanons!🌸🍃
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🩷Elliot🩷
🩷Surprisingly a lot stronger than he seems. (Carries 40lb bags of gardening soil like it’s nothing.)
🩷Always really warm for some reason.
🩷Probably has terrible posture. Man is always hunched over.
🩷His hands are probably really shaky too. Even when he’s relaxed.
🩷Would 100% listen to Cavetown.
🩷Plays FPS games with Milly suprisingly. (Thank you @ratkingnezu for this one. 🙏)
🩷He probably secretly loves MLP. (And when Milly found out they definitely binged the series together.) (His favorite character’s Fluttershy.)
🩷Gives names to all his plants.
🩷Aurizzm King. 👑 (He’s literally so charming without even trying.)
🩷 Probably doesn’t know what a twink is. (But if he had it explained to him he’d probably unashamedly agree that he is a twink.)
🩷Would probably be more than comfortable wearing a skirt.
🩷“I need a kind of woman that’ll actually just kill me.”
🩷Needs reassurance 24/7. (Milly leaves him alone for two minutes. “She probably hates me…”)
🩷Terrified of rejection. (Literally avoids doing things just so he can’t be rejected.)
🩷Literally the whiniest person with the people he’s comfortable around.
🩷Finds ways to win arguments in the shower. (But clams up in any real confrontation.)
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🖤Bradley🖤
🖤Probably gets mistaken as an adult a lot. (Everyone assumes he’s around 21-25.)
🖤95% of his wardrobe is just tracksuits. Man wears nothing else. (He’d totally wear one on a date or something and think nothing of it. 😭)
🖤Lifts 200lbs. “I’m gonna be so good at hugging.”
🖤Listens to a lot of heavy metal, but specifically the songs that have like the really soft vocals and absolutely insane drums.
🖤Oh but you know he also listens to Sabrina Carpenter whenever he goes jogging.
🖤Good at pretty much any sport he tries. (Even without any practice.)
🖤Probably likes his food really bland. Like he seasons nothing.
🖤Refuses to kill bugs if they get inside. Traps them in cups and takes them outside.
🖤Momma’s boy 100%.
🖤He’d be the type of boyfriend to overhear his partner off-handedly mention they’ve been craving strawberries, then go out to a strawberry field to pick only the finest of strawberries to bring home, wash, cut, and serve to his partner. (And then he says nothing about it afterwards.) (Man would be DEDICATED.)
🖤Physically incapable of talking to girls. (Or anyone he deems attractive really.)
🖤He’s one of those people that’ll just linger in the corners of social gathering for like two hours, surveying the vibes and conversations without realizing how creepy he’s coming off as, and only once he’s figured out the topic of discussing and how everyone’s feeling, he’ll try to blend into the conversation and not understand why everyone seems a little off-put by him.
🖤Has a really bad habit of just staring at people. (Probably likes people-watching in general.)
🖤The gardening club has a group-chat and Bradley refuses to talk in it. Like, the most he’ll do is send some Instagram reel of a cat, then go back to lurking for the next several months.
🖤Probably has that damn pineapple in his room still, which he talks to sometimes. 🍍
🖤Sometimes just leaves conversations without really saying anything. Like someone will be in the middle of talking and he’s just “-aight, I’m out.”
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💚Faye💚
💚She’s really bad about staying asleep. She tends to wake up at like 3:00am every other night, and since I like to imagine her and Dom share a room, she probably wakes him up sometimes.
💚Midnight snacker 100%.
💚She’s really quiet when she moves, so sometimes it seems like she just spawns in when she’s actually been standing there for several minutes. (She’s fully aware of this and likes using it to startle people.)
💚Along with spiders I think she’d like sharks too.
💚Loves being in the dark.
💚Sensitive to loud noises.
💚Her and Dom were always bringing bugs inside the house when they were younger.
💚Was obsessed with fairies when she was younger. But not the pretty Disney fairies. She liked the fairies from mythology that would curse people and steal names. (She’d pretend to steal Dom’s name all the time.)
💚Also had a Warrior Cats phase. (She had a whole medicine cat OC and can still name all the herbs used in the books.)
💚Aro-ace.
💚Doesn’t really get mad often, but when she does she’s terrifying. (Even Dom get’s a little on-edge.)
💚Really bad at reading facial expressions and social cues. Unless something is directly stated she’s going to be very confused.
💚Neither her nor Dom have a single pair of normal white socks. They always have to be brightly colored, or have fun patterns on them.
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🧡Dominic🧡
🧡When he first saw Ratatouille, it became his whole personality for like a month. (He still refers to every rat as Remy.)
🧡Probably watches Dragon Ball.
🧡Really likes Squishmallows.
🧡One of those people who wants like literally every animal as a pet. (Despite being fully aware that many of the animals he wants very well might kill him.)
🧡Probably still afraid of the dark. (And keeps a night-light in his bedroom.)
🧡Very accident-prone. (And has probably broken several bones before.)
🧡Pan. (And absolutely terrible at flirting.)
🧡He’s surprisingly good at reading people, but only because he knows what patterns and smaller details to look for. (He’s a little better with social cues than Faye, but not by much.)
🧡Cuts his own hair. Thinks hairstylists are a scam.
🧡Probably draws on his shoes.
🧡I like to think the sweater he wears is actually too small for him. (Considering the sleeves cut off a little short.) He outgrew it last year but he’s emotionally attached to it so he refuses to wear anything else.
🧡Had a Wings of Fire phase. (Is probably still in said phase.)
🧡Looks at obviously hot object. “Hm, I wonder if this is hot.” Places hand on hot object to check. Shocked when it burns him.
🧡Him and Faye always had to pull out the measuring tape whenever they were told to split something.
🧡He’s probably a lot more protective of Faye than he lets on. (He’s probably older by like, 5 minutes and refuses to let Faye forget that.)
🧡Left-handed. (Not really a headcanon I just wanted to point this out. If you go back to the first episode of the spin-off you can see Dom’s pencil’s on his left side. He later uses his left hand to spin the pencil around, too.)
🧡He likes stealing Elliot’s glasses to see how bad Elliot’s vision is.
🧡Him and Faye have oddly good senses of smell.
🧡The biggest baby when he’s sick. (Yet he actively refuses to take medicine.)
🧡Probably a secret anarchist.
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repressionmd · 2 months ago
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oooooooh my god dabble prompt #64
"What doesn't kill me still hurts." 922 words + hilson (i promise i tried to make this about thirteen but i am physically incapable apparently)
House was no stranger to painful medicine. He was no stranger to pain, but he was specifically no stranger to medicine that hurt. Short of chemotherapy, he'd tried out most of it. Admittedly, some of it was his fault - recovery after electric shocks was a bitch.
He had hated physio for his leg. Hated being pitied, hated the comforting consolations as he made no progress, only grew in anger as his leg seemed to burn more every day and his therapist smiled that same useless smile. He hated being forced to take fluids and lie around in bed. He hated the mandatory CBT after his 'suicide attempt'. He quit everything. He signed out AMA, he refused the better option. Even as a reasonable portion of his mind begged to weigh up the benefits, he didn't listen. He didn't quite know why.
Never mind that. He was trying to quit whatever treatment Wilson was suggesting at the moment - something he desperately did not want to go through with, and he noted with concern the rising panic in his stomach. Dissociating mid-conversation wasn't a good sign either.
"Come on, House, it could be good for you! There's studies, look. I sent them to you!"
Oh, right. Ice bath. "Nope." House turned around, intending to shut himself in his bedroom till Wilson left. If it also helped to mask his deep breath, well, that was just coincidence. He was feeling warm, restless. Scared. Warning bells rung out in his mind, hugely distracting and entirely useless. He didn't need to be told twice to know to get out of this.
"You've not even tried it. It could help!" Oh Wilson, if only you knew.
"Those studies are stupid. Besides, I don't want to. Warm water helps my leg, not ice. I'd think after all these years you'd know that."
Wilson had come up behind him, the traitor, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around, forcing House to meet his eyes. "I'm trying to help you, House, as your friend and as your doctor. It can't hurt to try. It won't kill you."
It won't kill me. House almost wanted to laugh. Yeah, it sure felt like it would have, when he was thrown out of the house, freezing to the bone. His dad had said it wouldn't kill him, and House had wished it would. Wished they would wake up to a cold, dead, Gregory House under the willow tree in the yard. Wished they would cry and scream and shout apologies to a boy who didn't hear them. Just once, he wanted to hurt them back.
"What doesn't kill me still hurts." Fuck. He sounded too genuine. The way his throat had caught on hurts would not be lost on Wilson either. Backtrack- too late. Wilson's face had fallen.
"Are you okay?"
Now House laughed. "Yeah, just peachy. Don't ever talk to me about ice baths again." He was shaking. Stumbling backwards, he brought his hands up to his face to hide the redness in his eyes he knew was building, and his leg buckled under the sudden weight as his cane was lifted up. One hand flew out to brace himself against the wall, cane clattering off to the side, but he kept his eyes closed so Wilson wouldn't see.
"Hey, House. Sorry. What's wrong?"
House had buried his face in his hands, brain short-circuiting as tears leaked out of his eyes. Fuck, this was embarrassing. "Lots."
"Does it hurt?"
"Yeah." Wilson meant his leg, but House meant everything.
"Do you… need anything?"
House took a deep, shuddering sigh. Looked up. Watched Wilson's emotions - worry, fear, shock, panic, guilt - clear as day on his face. "Just… promise me you won't talk about that again."
"Okay. I promise." Wilson knew trauma. Wilson had seen plenty, House knew. House knew that Wilson could see right through him, right now, and he had never felt so naked.
"Your leg will hurt more on the floor."
"Don't you think I don't know that, stupid?"
"Bed or couch?"
"You know, that's usually a very sexually charged question."
Wilson stared at him with a raised eyebrow, and House laughed, noting with more than a twinge of self-disgust at his sniffly state.
"Bed is fine."
Wilson helped him up, let House lean on him. Stood awkwardly at the threshold as House propped himself up on his bed and massaged his aching leg, till it was House's turn to raise his eyebrow. He patted the empty half of the bed.
"C'mere. I'll get bored like this."
"Want me to tell you a bedtime story, Greg?"
A flash of hurt. Another memory. Not so bad, and House mused with a vague sense of interest in his own inner workings, that maybe he could remake that memory.
It was many hours later that Wilson stopped talking, and House had ended up absent-mindedly combing through his hair. Wilson's hand was on his thigh, and it was well into the night.
They didn't talk about it. They didn't need to. Work shirts came off and old t-shirts were pulled out of cabinets, and if House ached for the way Wilson looked in House's clothes as he settled in to sleep, he didn't voice it. If House waited for Wilson's breathing to regulate before pulling him closer, he was sure he could explain it easy enough.
He thought though, and it was one of the clearest thoughts apart from his epiphanies he could remember having, that maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to.
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transpersian · 10 months ago
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Doc 3 is about PZ's kid
And yes, that means what you think it means. We've been talking. A lot.
From my Twitter thread:
Needed some time to think.
I've been trying too hard to make too many people happy, even with contradictory needs. I've been letting people jerk me back and forth on what they think is right. I've been trying REALLY hard to be nice.
Biding my time. No more.
PZ’s kid is okay.
Back in October, after months of worrying about optics, we decided that it was too important: we had to see if Poppy’s kid was okay. They’d literally ESCAPED, ffs. They’re 23, but still.
And before anyone says anything, I WAS RIGHT. This is the first thing they said to me:
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Yes, I understand the delicacy of the situation. Yes, I understand how this looks. But please understand: I’m not just some internet rando who’s in way over her head. I’ve been supporting abuse survivors in deep and intense ways for decades, and I’m damned good at it.
I’d fuck off if they had a negative response. I’d push for them not to be involved in any efforts against their mom. In the end, what ended up being our priority was making sure that The Kid (no real name plz) was okay and knew we were there if they needed help.
Fuck the optics.
I helped them clean up the tracks that led to them, then we started talking. Initially, I insisted on this being strictly for support. They wanted to get involved and I pushed back. Said if they really wanted to, they could send me screenshots, not thinking they’d apply.
Oh boy.
First they sent them to me to illustrate their points, but they insisted that I was free to use any of them. That first batch of 12 was jarring enough.
Then, unprompted, they sent me 70 more.
They want me to tell their story. They want me to show you how PZ lie.
And they’re not in a rush. They want me to be thorough.
So in a move I was barely okay with, they gave me access to their 3200-message Signal chat log so I could figure out where relevant screenshots are and have them take them.
I’m taking my time because they’re hard to read.
My mother left when I was 3. My father remarried 4 years later and she was abusive to me for the following 16 years.
I felt unwelcome in my own home, incapable of doing anything right, constantly eggshelling.
Zena makes my experiences with my stepmom look like Sesame Street.
There are little things you notice when you have texts in DB format.
Like how Poppy said “I love you” to her kid eight times from July ’21 to June ’22.
Only twice from July ’22 to June ’23.
Watching them be believed less and less over Zena, who started blatantly lying.
For the past couple of months, when I’ve been able to, I’ve been studying a way-too-intimate look at the death of a mother’s empathy for her child. I’d chat with them sometimes and give them what support I could. Figure out how to respond to ones like this:
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I know I’ll only get one shot at this, so here’s what the doc will consist of:
A more complete intro about the above
Transcripts of when PZ have cited The Kid’s abuse on stream
A tally of claims to track
The screenshots
Examples of the “assignments” they were given
A 3.5-page long, single-spaced list of what they deemed unacceptable treatment, which PZ promptly wrote off as bullshit and complained to their friends about
Screenshots from those friends
Direct rebuttals against PZ’s on-stream claims
Additional context from my conversations with TK
Somehow forgot to mention a major chunk: dozens of screenshots from TK’s personal discord with a few close friends, serving essentially as a diary of their experiences. Purely testimonial on that front, I know, but…
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I feel like maybe it's worth seeing what a young adult in their early 20s says to their close friends in private about in what's essentially a group chat.
See, PZ’s 23-year-old kid has POTS, a circulatory disorder that affects your body’s regulatory systems, including respiratory. Things that negatively affect POTS:
Skipping meals
Excessive physical labor
Heat
What if I told you PZ would punish them with food restriction?
What if I told you of at least three separate mentions of TK being worked to collapse or illness? That they ignored TK’s symptoms and scolded them for not just eating better? That they worked TK for 8+ hrs some days?
What if I told you that TK is 5’1” and 80 lbs (unrelated)?
What if I showed you when, on-stream, Poppy accused TK of intentionally crying so intensely that she dissociated? Or of abusing Zena?
Can you imagine being pushed so far by your parents that you're in wailing tears, and they don't stop until it reaches that point? And then they accuse you of manipulation?
If you're like me (and what I'd imagine is many members of The Foundation), you don't have to imagine it.
What if I told you that what PZ called “intentionally faking forgetting instructions” when TK was really just having a hard time?
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What if I told you I knew what the mysterious psych test Poppy trotted out as proof on stream actually says? What if I told you that Poppy harassed the kid until they gave it up, even though she’s not legally entitled to any of it? Even though she’s abusing the authority of her license?
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Remember how Poppy talked about having to rush to the bank to make changes to her accounts because TK withdrew all of their own trust money? What if I told you I have proof that she was talking to them as early as the next morning and TK was completely cooperating?
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I’ve heard a lot of horrific testimonies about the things that Poppy has done, but this… This radicalized me.
And it’s radicalized anyone I’ve shown it to.
TK has asked me to use everything I can from them to expose @ZenaandPoppy for what they are:
Abusive Hypocrites
So ultimately, how does this incredibly personal violation of privacy factor into the big picture? Yes, I know what this is. I know what it looks like.
But these are abusive parents who have been using their platform to use their own victim for pity points. That’s how they win.
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What I’ve been trying to prove is abusiveness. PZ are recklessly abusive people who hide behind victimhood (and what they used to disdainfully refer to as “idpol”).
This is extensive proof not just THAT they’re abusive liars, but also HOW.
This is what Zena is like with power.
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This is a ways off. Still lots to do. But I just want everyone to finally know why I’m still in this.
I know what Poppy and Zena are. Intimately. Not because I’m a “stalker.” Because I’ve had people come to me about how PZ hurt them. 20+ of them with claims from the past year.
I can’t share all of their claims because they only have so much proof. But I believe victims. And this? This I can prove, extensively.
This is why it’s funny when people accuse me of clout-chasing: I have no online brand to care about, and if I did, this would be insane.
People have asked me what the end goal is.
My goal is COMPLETE deplatforming.
For nobody in this community to trust them with their mental health ever again.
They are justifying their abuse with therapy speak and TEACHING THEIR FANS TO DO THE SAME.
They’re dangerous.
Oh, and Zena! Zena! Yeah, right here. I know you were really sad about being left out of the abuse allegations, but trust me, there will be #noZZerasure on this one. You’re a solid 80% of this one, sweetie! How’s that monkey’s paw working out for you?
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And in closing, I’m just going to give myself this one additional… treat.
If you’ve been following for a while, you know this reference.
But this one’s for the abuse mob:
You still don’t take us seriously, do you?
Or rather…
Are you taking me seriously yet?
Because you will. I promise you, you fucking will. Because you’re about to understand that this has never been for me. It’s never been about me.
It’s about making sure you two have as few avenues as possible to prey on this community ever again.
See you in school.
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differenteagletragedy · 1 year ago
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OKAY BUT I LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS AND THE ANGST. THEY MAKE ME FEEL THINGS. This is gonna sound like a Weird Af request, you totally don't have to do it if you don't want to or can't or for any reason, BUT PERHAPS can I request some argument hcs? Like the OL Boys did something really bad / really made MC upset, like not just the other person's request where they're like scowling or just mildly upset, but like GENUINE Upset, like I mean somewhere near Heartbreak. Like how would they feel? How would they apologize? Stuff like that. WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE, but if not, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY ANYWAY
Oof these poor boys :( They're all going to be devastated
-- If Cove does something to upset you this badly, then I think it would be because he's angry (reference: that dramatic phone call with Miranda and Terri). So he would be mad, but after he cooled down, just immediate regret.
-- He can't be on bad terms with you. He just can't. So he's going to apologize his head off, probably cry some. He'd try not to because he knows this isn't about him, but he is who he is.
-- His stomach hurts, his heart is going funny, everything is just upside down because you're his best friend, his favorite person, and wow did he mess up. Seriously, he will do anything, please just tell him what to do to make it better.
-- If you can't get back on good terms immediately, if you're too upset and want space, then he's going to be an absolute mess.
-- One thing about Cove is that he's going to google something. So if that happens, he's going to get on his trusty laptop and be searching things like "how to apologize when you screwed up."
-- Cliff is going to try to talk to him, depending on how old Cove is he's not going to want to hear it though.
-- Is it bedtime and you're still not ready to make up? Better get ready for a tap on the window, because guess who's coming over.
-- He is physically incapable of sleeping if you are mad at him.
-- This will ruin Derek.
-- Like Cove will be heartbroken about this, but Derek will be just plain broken.
-- Honestly I can't even imagine what he would do to make you this upset because he's so careful.
-- He would probably at least think about breaking up with you because you deserve better.
-- I cannot overstate what an emotional crisis this is.
-- He'll apologize, but he won't want to apologize too much because he won't want to bother you. But then he'll feel bad about not apologizing enough. Then he can't figure out if he should be doing more to make you feel better or less to give you space. And THEN he gets anxious because he can't figure it out.
-- Eventually, if you don't come to him first, he'll compose himself enough to give you a heartfelt apology, telling you exactly what he did wrong, how he'll be better, and letting you know that if you don't want to be with him anymore, then he understands.
-- Baxter already did this in Step 3 lol, so let's focus on Step 4.
-- Oh no he's done it again.
-- This guy is going to straight up hate himself, all character growth down the toilet, he's the same messed up person he's always been, he never should have let himself believe that he deserved you, he should have left you alone because breaking your heart once was enough, and now he's done it again?
-- Suffocation, no breathing
-- This is a straight up spiral.
-- Derek and Baxter had very different childhoods, but they are also similar in many ways. The self-loathing is a real problem.
-- Baxter is going to think about running again. It's not that he doesn't love you, it's that he doesn't trust himself to love you properly.
-- But he doesn't want to lose you, not really, so he's going to have to do what's always worked: actually talk to you about the issues.
-- Please forgive these boys, because if MC ends up with any of them then they will never love another for the rest of their whole entire lives.
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