#but obviously them being bad people is what gives them character depth so quit bitching and moaning about who was worse

[jxurnes]

if james potter knew about how many interhouse friendships hphm mc made i fear he'd go into a state of cardiac arrest

[mortalfollies]

ghosts grievances under the cut

finale was quite shit wasn't it lol. totally rushed, 20 minutes of filler that was nowhere near as funny as 80% of the show is, alison seems totally unconvinced, a million different ways to have ended it and they choose a really weird way. if they wanted to do west horsley place a favour by showcasing how it's been renovated, we still coulda believed it was elderly mike and ali that did it. also, seriously, they lose all the fuckin time in the show; could they not have won the lotto or something, just once? also, ALISON IS ALWAYS GOING TO SEE GHOSTS. EVERYWHERE. THATS STILL A LIFELONG PROBLEM LOL (said with aggression). they forgot that.

lolly adefope i am so fucking sorry that these bitches refuse to write for you with respect or love. they enjoy your comedy but refuse to give kitty any semblance of depth, especially when it came to her death. still not over that, btw. i think the spiderbite was a good idea, but reconcilliation with eleanor, to me, screams 'we're six english people who won't acknowledge the existence of racism, at all, ever.' meanwhile homophobia is part of why cap dies lol. the double standards. unreal. disappointing but not surprising.

the treatment of all the female characters, btw, will always be the biggest negative of the show. kitty, mary and alison are all mistreated bc its like well, they dont write for the show so lets consider them afterthoughts. alison and kitty really get the short stick in the finale. and then fanny - well martha made her choice i guess.

and speaking of depth and deaths...cap's death was so poorly done bro. i dunno what you people r talking about, crying over it - it wasn't moving. it was objectively sad but elicited no emotion from me, which is amazing bc while havers is boring, i do feel moved every time i watch redding weddy. you ppl pat ben willbond on the back too much, to the point where it's obviously fed back to him, seeing as he felt he had to say 'sorry' for 5e5, when it was just. flat. poorly executed. rushed. etc. yeah nah man, not good. that being said, besides cap's death i actually love that episode.

even my mum thought the finale was boring and bad bro.

yeah. anyway! the series will always end on s5e6 for me.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad has frequently been touted as one of the worst comic book movies ever, and honestly? I don’t really agree, even if I almost wholeheartedly agree with every criticism of it. The editing is bad, the story is a mess, the Squad’s friendship is nonexistent, characters like Waller act like absolute idiots, Enchantress is a bad character and an absurd villain for these people to face… And yet, the core cast of scoundrels are all pretty likable when you wipe off the crap they’re buried under. These characters all could have shined bright if they were given competent writing and direction; the ideas are there, but the execution is unbelievably flawed due to excessive executive meddling (and probably a bit of pretentiousness on director David Ayer’s part). If only there was a director capable of taking the concept of a bunch of C-list villains getting together and performing dangerous missions and, along the way, becoming a found family…

That director thankfully exists, and his name is James Gunn. Gunn has already shown twice that he is capable of doing “a bunch of assholes become a found family” really well with the two Guardians of the Galaxy films, films that have a lot of style and flair that help make them the best films in the MCU, and considering Suicide Squad was mangled the way it was to try and be more in line with his Guardians films, it only makes sense to pull him in to give Task Force X another shot. Why settle for imitations when you can get the real thing? It’s not like he was doing anything else while Mickey Mouse put him in time out for naughty tweets, after all.

But this isn’t Gunn under the thumb of the Mouse, oh no; this is Gunn allowed to go absolutely wild. This is Gunn given the budget of a modern superhero film and asked to make a Troma picture, with all the blood, gore, and cheesiness that entails, and by god did he pull it off. Right from the get go we are given a taste of just what sort of movie we’re in for as a mangy child-murdering weasel man shows up and Nathan Fillion detaches his arms from his body to gently tap enemy soldiers on the head, and somehow things only get wackier from there.

Gunn seemed to actively go out of his way to fix every single problem of the original film. The characters, for instance, are all fairly similar to those of the first film. Bloodsport is clearly the stand in for Deadshot, but where Deadshot was just your average charming, funny Will Smith role to the point it could get distracting, Idris Elba makes Bloodsport a tired straight man to the wacky antics around him and portrays his growth through the film very well. Peacemaker is the jackass of the team in the vein of Captain Boomerang, but where Boomerang had little use in the narrative despite being the best and funniest non-Harley member of the team, Peacemaker is given his full due, with John Cena making him one of the funniest assholes ever put to film and even giving him a bit of depth and moral complexity. King Shark, AKA Nanaue, is obviously Killer Croc’s replacement, but where Croc was bland and really just stood in the background the whole movie, Nanaue is a sweet, charming, funny oaf with brutal strength who is just absolutely lovable and adorable, all capped off with hilarious vocal delivery from Sylvester Stallone himself. Polka-Dot Man is something of a replacement for El Diablo, though while El Diablo was really bungled by the narrative despite being well-acted and sympathetic, Polka-Dot Man is given ample opportunity to be funny, tragic, and useful all at once, and gives him a bit of an arc (pretty impressive for a character who was added in solely because Gunn googled who the lamest DC villains were). And finally, Ratcatcher is something of the replacement for Katana, being the second woman of the squad and the token good teammate, though where Katana was awkwardly shoehorned in at the last minute, Ratcatcher is clearly the heart of this team and brings the band together. Overall, the new Squad is leagues better than the original, and you will care for this band of criminals by the film’s end.

Returning characters get their due as well, particularly the ones really screwed over by the first film Waller and Flag get it the best of all. In the first film, Waller’s entire scheme was stupid, nonsensical, contradictory, and basically everything she did went against what was told to us about her, namely that she is a master manipulator. It was really a waste of Viola Davis, who had the presence and mannerisms down but who was constantly being failed by a shoddy script. Thankfully, that’s not the case here; Waller is very much the ultimate, manipulative girlboss she should be, from using her own troops as a distraction for another team to threatening Bloodsport with his daughter getting raped and murdered in prison over a minor offense if he doesn’t join her Suicide Squad. She is a stone cold bitch you will love to hate, and is easily one of the best comic book villains in film now (quite the turnaround all things considered). Flag is an actual character in this movie, with great chemistry with the members of the new Squad, particularly Bloodsport and Harley. Much like Bloodsport, he also gets a bit of a rivalry with Peacemaker going, which ends up being entertaining and even leads to a truly sad moment late in the film. Quite impressive for a guy who did nothing but spout awkward exposition in the first film.

Then we have Harley. I’m going to be honest, Harley has never been written better than she was in this film. While Robbie has had the character down from day one, the scripts have consistently failed her. The original film did nothing with her but sexualize her and have her spout crappy one-liners, and while Birds of Prey was a massive step up and had her written as she should be, the overall narrative of that film didn’t quite give her the due she deserved due to her feeling like a passive character pushed around by the flow of the plot. Here, though, Harley fully grasps at what’s given to and takes charge when she can, leading to one of the best action scenes in a film full of them. She ahs great interactions with her teammates and is just consistently funnier than she ever has been before, and it makes me happy to know someone who loves this character as much as Robbie does is finally getting to truly shine as she deserves.

The music and editing are vastly better. Remember how the original film had a new licensed song every minute, and almost all of them made no sense, and the music that played for Deadshot was exclusively rap artists (which was lowkey kinda racist)? Well, Gunn is bringing his ability to weave songs into the narrative with this one, but he also gives plenty of time for the music composed for the film to shine. As for the editing, gone are the obtrusive comic-book style cards that announce stupid throwaway details (and in a few cases, plot points you will very likely miss), replaced by more amusing and less obtrusive gags. The movie is also cut in a way where, you know, it makes sense. Everything flows naturally, and while there are a couple of points where time rewinds so we can see how we got to a certain point, it’s never so confusing that you can’t follow it.

The stakes are vastly overhauled. It made zero sense in the first film that Waller would assemble a team that consists of people whose powers range from “is good with weapons” to “is an Aztec fire god” to “is a big ugly crocodile man” to take on Superman-level threats. This is like if you sent a Boy Scout troop to fight Godzilla, it’s just not gonna end well and there’s an absurd disparity in power levels. Here, the team is being sent on a general black ops mission and have their skills selected by who would be most useful for the mission, and while they do end up taking on something a bit outside their context in the form of a certain cyclopean starfish alien, it’s a bit easier to swallow because of the buildup and because “big angry alien” is a lot more sensible as a threat to black op vigilantes than “ancient interdimensional witch goddess with a zombie army.”

Most importantly, though, is that this film lives up to its title. This is very much a suicide mission, and where the last team made it out relatively unscathed, this film suffers a lot of casualties. Characters die for gags, characters die suddenly, you might think a character is going to be a big, important part of the plot only for them to be dispatched right when it seems they’re getting going. For a film like this, it works perfectly, and some of the deaths are absolutely hilarious. That being said, you can kind of predict who lives and who dies based on star power alone; do you really think Harley’s gonna bite it? Come on.

I don’t really have many issues with the movie, but I will reiterate: this is essentially a Troma film with a massive budget, made by one of their alumni. Troma is a studio that makes gory, gross, and awesome B-grade movies and a similar irreverent mentality is on display here. If you can stomach gore, violence, and absurdity then this is a film you’re probably going to get into, but it’s definitely not the kind of comic book movie for everyone. Thankfully, it is exactly the kind of comic book movie for me. It honestly feels like the sort of movie I’d want to make, where I take a bunch of stupid C-list villains with dumb powers and give them actual development and characterization to the point the audience feels something for them. You’re going to be moved by a girl who controls rats, a stupid shark man, and a depressed dude who shoots polka-dots from his hands, and you’re not going to care.

I really hope they follow this up with another one, especially if they bring James Gunn back. There were a lot of characters he considered for the team, and a lot of them have potential, be that hilarious or dramatic. I mean, the man considered Mr. Freeze, that guy could be one hell of a leading man! Round out the team with some of the considered ideas like Rainbow Creature, Solomon Grundy, Chemo, Livewire, Punch and Jewelee, Man-Bat, Dogwelder, and the almighty Kite Man, and you’ve got one hell of a Suicide Squad! Also, maybe get Gunn to consider Crazy Quilt and Condiment King.

Really, the possibilities are endless, and that’s what the fun of a Suicide Squad movie should be: seeing the dumbest dregs of comic book history thrown into a place where they’re probably going to die horribly. Gunn managed to get that when Ayer couldn’t, and the results are perhaps his magnum opus. This is Gunn at his best and most free, unchained from the restrictions of forcing a film to tie into a bunch of others while also using all the tricks of his signature style to craft a damn fine film that easily holds up on its own outside the context of the DCEU. These are the kind of comic book movies we need, so let’s hope this film gets the respect it deserves so it acts as a wakeup call for studios content to churn out

[soyouareandrewdobson]

…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4

Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.

Persistent Pam

 Curmudgeonly Carl

And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.

No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once

All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)

And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo

Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips

 And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)

 She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub

 Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.

As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.

In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.

Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.

 However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.

Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…

On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend

BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…

… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.

 Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.

But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.

Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.

Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?

 Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.

Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.

 The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen

Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.

Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.

BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.

 Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.

And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!

This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS

And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…

 You can frankly go and screw yourself.

On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.

Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.

I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.

But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.

There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…

And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.

 What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.

For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?

I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.

Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.

Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…

And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen

And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.

As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.

Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.

Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.

Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.

There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them

 You failed.

Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.

Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.

Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?

 Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.

The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.

Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.

Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.

When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.

Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?

And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.

It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!

… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.

 And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!

And that is it.

Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.

Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.

[mst3kproject]

Countess Dracula

In Countess Dracula we have the tale of a lonely old woman who discovers that she can make herself young again, just so long as she doesn’t mind having to murder somebody to do it (she doesn’t).  Our antiheroine uses this newfound youth to seduce the least interesting man in the movie, until at last her misdeeds catch up with her when her latest victim turns out to have been the wrong demographic to make the magic work.

Does that sound familiar?  Yeah, this is a very Leech-Woman-y movie.  It stars Nigel Green, the news announcer from Gorgo, and comes to us from Hammer Studios, home of Moon Zero-Two.  The director, Peter Sasdy, never made anything that wound up on MST3K but he did work on the legendary Pia Zadora bomb, The Lonely Lady.  Countess Dracula is not a wild ride, as its pace is fairly sedate, but it is certainly a ride nonetheless.

The count of somewhere or other has just died, leaving his realm to his nineteen-year-old daughter Ilona – and technically also leaving his spiteful widow, Elizabeth, free to marry her longtime lover Captain Dobi.  Most people would consider this a perfectly acceptable retirement, but Elizabeth is impossible to satisfy.  She doesn’t want to grow old while Ilona (currently on her way home from finishing school in Vienna) rules the county and gets all the attention.  When Elizabeth discovers that bathing in the blood of virgins restores her youth, she embraces murder as a hobby and has Ilona locked up so she can stay in charge while posing as her own daughter!  In that guise she sets out to pursue handsome young Imre, the son of her husband’s most trusted general, while jealous Dobi can only sit and seethe.

I bet you think you can guess how this movie ends.  I bet you think Dobi tells Imre the countess’ secret, and the two of them defeat her.  Or else the real Ilona escapes and meets him, they expose Elizabeth as a fraud, and then get married and rule the land with justice and mercy or something.  That’s what would happen in a normal movie… but you guys know I don’t watch normal movies.  Maybe instead you’re guessing that nobody does shit and Elizabeth just carries on her merry way until she’d destroyed by her own hubris?  That’s more like it.

Not all of Hammer’s films were good, but they were generally pretty well-made and Countess Dracula is not an exception.  The elaborate costumes and sets are very nice, although areas like the town square are obviously artificial and the old lady makeup on Ingrid Pitt as Elizabeth is pretty bad.  There’s also a young woman made up in very ugly brownface as a ‘gypsy girl’, except they totally forgot to do any makeup on her for the scene where her naked corpse is discovered in the woods.

There are even a couple really well-done moments of storytelling and worldbuilding.  A scene in a pub, when everybody falls silent as Dobi and Imre enter, shows eloquently how terrified the peasants are of the aristocracy. Elizabeth gets some chilling bits when we see the true depth of her depravity.  She sees no difference between controlling people through love and controlling them through fear – either way, she gets what she wants, and their feelings don’t matter.  My favourite detail is the subtle cultural conflict going on in the background, as the characters speak disparagingly of ‘Turks’ and yet have clearly picked up some bits and pieces of Ottoman culture.

Although its plot outline is very similar to The Leech Woman, the philosophy of Countess Dracula is completely different.  The Leech Woman didn’t really give June a viable alternative to her poisoned fountain of youth.  Old women in its world can only sit around and drink and know that nobody loves them. Elizabeth, however, has a possible future – Dobi repeatedly notes that he’s been waiting twenty years for the opportunity to legitimatize his relationship with her.  He would have happily devoted himself to her for the rest of his life, and the two of them could have lived in retirement while Imre and Ilona gave them grandchildren to spoil.  Dobi even says there is dignity in age, directly contradicting The Leech Woman by applying it equally to both sexes.  June was more or less forced to become a monster, while Elizabeth chooses it explicitly.

So there’s honestly some pretty good stuff in this film.  Where it unfortunately falls on its face is with the characters, none of whom can really be said to have an arc, and the ending, which is rushed and unsatisfying.

The movie’s main focus is always on Elizabeth, but she refuses to grow or learn anything at any point.  She starts off as a nasty, selfish bitch and just stays a nasty, selfish bitch.  She has no actual master plan, but seems convinced that she can keep up this charade indefinitely, even though Dobi points out the impracticality of that.  Dobi believes she’s going mad, but the truth seems to be she’s just horrible.  She is evidently terrified of growing old, but that is never explored.  We see her react to aging, rather violently at times, but we never find out what the root of this fear is.

All this means that Elizabeth, despite being the focal character, is never sympathetic.  June in The Leech Woman at least started off as somebody we could pity, before she descended into depravity.  Elizabeth is a terrible person from the get-go, as illustrated in the very opening when she has her coachman run over a peasant who wants her to fulfill a promise her late husband made her.

Imre and Ilona are pretty much complete ciphers. Imre spends the entire movie in Elizabeth’s thrall one way or another.  He is madly in love with her in her guise as Ilona, and after finding out the truth he’s too scared of her to openly defy her.  The only personality trait he manifests is gullible foolishness, and any sympathy we might have had for him evaporates when he cheerfully kisses a barmaid’s tit on the same day when he’s proposed marriage to the woman he believes is his true love.  Ilona spends most of the movie locked up in some mute peasant’s hut doing not much. When she finally enters the story properly, she comes across as stunningly stupid.

The character who does the most to try to thwart Elizabeth is her lover Dobi, but he’s less interested in stopping her from killing virgins than he is in having her to himself.  He gets Imre drunk and tosses him in bed with the barmaid in the hope that Elizabeth will reject him, and later takes Imre to see Elizabeth bathing in blood to youthen herself.  These things don’t work, partly because Imre is an idiot and partly because Elizabeth is always more evil than he thought she was, but at least he tries.

At the end of the movie, Elizabeth’s latest bloodbath wears off in the middle of her wedding to Imre, and she runs off to murder Ilona in order to make herself young again.  Imre tries to stop her and gets stabbed for his trouble, which does at least expose Elizabeth’s evildoing to one and all, and she and Dobi are hanged. What happens to Ilona I’m not sure, but I know they didn’t have therapists in the seventeenth century.  Nobody wins here.  It’s a downer for everybody, including the superstitious peasants, who will continue to be terrified of their rulers now that their worst fears have been confirmed.

Several things might be made of the fact that it’s young women Elizabeth is killing.  It’s interesting to note that the idea of male virginity is never even brought up.  We could contrast two depictions of motherhood, in the form of Elizabeth’s jealousy of Ilona versus Juli the nurse’s unconditional love for her.  There’s Imre’s description of ‘Ilona’ as embodying all aspects of womanhood, to which Dobi replies that no woman can be maiden, mother, and whore all at once… yet that is just what Elizabeth is trying to be.  What I find interesting in this, however, is how the movie depicts Elizabeth’s own internalized misogyny, in the fucked-up attitudes she displays towards youth, beauty, and gender.

Elizabeth feels that age and experience have made her undesirable.  Dobi assures her that he finds her as attractive as he ever did, but she evidently does not believe him, and her mistreatment of her female servants has a definite note of jealousy in it.  She kills young virgins not only to gain their desirability, but because she hates them for what they have and she does not.

What’s unusual is that she applies this same attitude towards the men in her life.  Elizabeth is no longer attracted to Dobi, because he is old and experienced. Their affair has gone on for years, and in Dobi’s mind this has only deepened his love for her – but Elizabeth is tired of it and wants something new.  Imre is young, handsome, and innocent.  He has no wealth of his own and has not yet really accomplished much in life, but Elizabeth doesn’t care.  If all she has to be is young and pretty, then how could she ask anything more of him?

Here, Dobi and Elizabeth represent two different versions of gender equality as it applies to sexual attractiveness, with him raising Elizabeth to his level, and her lowering Dobi and Imre to hers!  Elizabeth treating the men in her life as she has been treated illustrates the inequality quite sharply, but what ultimately destroys her is applying the same standards to herself.  She believes so totally that nothing else matters as long as she is beautiful that she doesn’t care what she has to do to accomplish it, or who sees her do it.  In the end, she is undone by her own self-loathing.

[jenonctcity]

Running From The Dark

Charia Kingdom – Renjun

Smut, Fluff, Angst.

Fantasy!Au, Supernatural!Au

Warnings: Mentions of blood/injury, minor character death, explicit sex, mention of abuse.

Word Count: 12.8k

 (All of this series links up. The timeline of the story runs in the order of the master list from top to bottom, Mark - Jisung. Each members part can be read as a stand-alone, but I would recommended reading all the parts in order so the story adds up.)

Charia Kingdom - A place that has equal amounts of sunshine and rain, hot and cold, rich and poor, and, humans and creatures that couldn’t be identified as that of human status. Ruled by the Lee family with a king whose cutthroat and unforgiving nature is feared by many. The poor not cared for by people who have everything, where disease takes the lives of those unfortunate enough to not have the funds to purchase medicine. A place where humans live among  creatures many would find terrifying. It’s no secret that Vampires, Werewolves, Wizards, etc live amongst them like normal people. Unless you murder someone, you’re considered normal. Everyone lives their own lives, whether it be a happy life, or a sorrowful life…

Being chased from the royal family’s castle at the age of 16 was never something Renjun hoped for when he was growing up. Having lived in the castle since his birth, his mother, the castles witch, raised him alone. After finding out a huge secret and confronting the king, the king has Renjun’s mother killed, leading Renjun to use the dark powers he never knew he had to curse the Prince of the kingdom. After a bounty is put on his head for his crimes, he lives his life on the run, burrowing away in a cabin far out in the depths of the dangerous forest. A place where many lethal creatures live. Now 19, Renjun has lived in solitude for 3 years, and never expected a girl to break into his home in the dead of night. The girl he encounters is on the run herself, but refuses to tell him why. The stubborn, mentally strong, and brave girl persuades him to let her stay with him. Can he live alongside another being when he’s still got dark magic flowing through his veins and a huge secret heavy in his heart?

The strong wind whipped against your face, alongside stray branches and leaves from trees you didn’t notice in your haste. The shadows from the trees created a darkness in the forest that made it hard to navigate your way through, despite the bright moonlight peering through gaps in the trees; you could hardly see. Your hearing was perfect though, and the demanding shouts of men’s voices was what kept you running even though the dangers you faced the deeper you got into the forest. Your lungs burned from the stress you put them through, running nonstop for an hour was no joke and you felt the ache in your legs. But you had no choice, you couldn’t be caught by the men trailing you or you’d be forced into a life you did not wish to pursue. A bead of sweat cascaded down the side of your cheek, falling from your jaw as you dodged a large branch that was at head height, you ducked underneath it, but immediately stumbled from a dip in the ground. You gasped in surprise, one of your knees coming in contact with the ground before you caught yourself. You winced at the loudness of your gasp, hoping the men not far behind you hadn’t heard you. You couldn’t run any longer, the pain becoming too much, but you refused to give up. You hid behind the largest tree you could find, holding your breath despite the urgency of your lungs screaming about how they needed oxygen. The voices got closer, your stomach twisting in anxiety at them finding you.

“(Y/N)! Come out come out wherever you are.” A deep voice sang with a sickly-sweet laugh following it. The light of a lit torch casting more shadows to fall from the trees as they neared you. “Mr Kim will be a very, very disappointed man if he doesn’t get to have his little bitch.” The voice continued to taunt you, your eyes filling with tears, all hope of freedom rinsing out of your body. “He’s not very forgiving you know…He’s going to do very bad thi-”

The echo of a high-pitched howl cut the man off. His voice halting to a stop the second he heard the threatening signal of a nearby creature. Hushed voices talked amongst themselves before the rustling of leaves told you the men had given up before you, retreating from the forest to escape the beast of the night. You heard more rustling, your heart pounding in your chest and your hands getting clammy, a fright you’d never felt before sending freezing chills down your spine despite the heat of the night. The sound got closer, but you had a feeling it wasn’t the men coming back. You looked to your left, being as quiet as you could as you peered around, hoping to look for a gap in the trees so you had an easy exit if you needed one. You couldn’t see anything under the guise of darkness, so you swung your head to the right. Bright green eyes beside your face had your heart almost stopping, your breath getting caught in your lungs as you stood shell shocked. The snow-white fur of the lean wolf almost glowed under the moonlight, it looking soft to the touch. The wolf stared at you, its head flicking up slightly as it sniffed at you. It took a step closer, its face getting closer to yours. You wanted to beg it not to kill you, but you knew nothing about werewolves. Could it understand your language? Did it have a human form? You had no idea. The wolf rubbed its face against yours the same way you saw a cat once rub its face against its owners’ leg. You took in a sharp breath, confused by the wolfs actions, as it turned away and ran into the dark of the night. Letting out the breath you were holding, you couldn’t help but think the wolf had purposely sought you out to help you.

“Thank you!” You whispered shouted into the darkness, hearing a bark respond in the distance. You took off running again, not knowing what you were looking for and heading towards. You slowed to a walk after half an hour, not even knowing if you were walking in circles as you passed a large boulder that looked strangely familiar. Or maybe you were just going insane, maybe you imagined the wolf and in actuality you were stuck in the prison you once called home. You tripped over a tree root, your body slamming into the leaf covered floor being enough to tell you this was reality, and you actually were experiencing one of the most frightening events of your life. You stood up with a groan, your knees and palms stinging from your fall and your throat feeling so dry it hurt to make any noise. You brushed yourself off, lifting your head to look in front of you as you saw a glimmer of hope. A small cabin in a barely-there clearance sat like a dream. It looked like it was as worn out as you felt. The brick being a dull colour from what you could see underneath the moonlight. Stray vines and ivy grew up the walls, leading you to believe the cabin had been there for quite some time. Looking at the chimney you noticed a lack of smoke, hoping that it was an unoccupied lot so that you had somewhere to spend the night.

You weighed up your options. On one hand, you could spend the night in a cabin, sure there was a risk that it actually had someone living in it, but you could just leave if it did. On the other hand, you could spend the night in a dark, dangerous forest, where all sorts of unknown creatures could be lurking behind trees, ready to cook you in a stew at any moment. Your legs were carrying you to the cabin before your brain had even thought to pick one of the options you’d so carefully thought about. You dodged all the brambles and tree roots, determined not to fall over now that you could actually see the floor from where the moonlight was boring down between the trees. You found the front door, the blue paint peeling from the wood from wear and tear. Taking a deep breath, you tried the doorknob, groaning when it wouldn’t turn.

“Damn.” You grumbled, trying to think of a plan b. You walked around the property, seeing a dusty window around the back. You wiped your hand over the dust, smearing it but successfully making it easier to see through. You peeked through the window, not noticing anything out of the ordinary from what you could see of the kitchen. You also noticed no food on any of the surfaces. The kitchen counter and the table void of anything other than pots and a large book. You hoped the place had been abandoned and they’d just left bits and pieces around the cabin. You found a back door that held no paint on it, just a simple wooden door, smirking to yourself when you easily opened it. Whoever was last here had obviously failed to lock the back door, which you were very thankful for. You shut the door behind you quietly, flicking the lock on the door so no one could follow you inside. You looked around, being able to see almost the whole first floor of the cabin from where you stood, it being an open layer set up. There was the kitchen that you’d seen through the window, beside that there was a fireplace with an uncomfortable looking sofa sat in front of it, the material made out of patchwork pieces. You noticed in the fireplace a large cauldron, and next to that, a very large cabinet with plenty of labelled bottles on the shelves. This must have belonged to a witch at some point. You hoped she wasn’t coming back anytime soon, knowing they can be very hostile when they want to be, and the last thing you needed was to be cursed to cough up frogs or something. You saw a set of wooden steps leading up to the next floor, but you were more curious about the glistening bright blue liquid you could see in one of the bottles on the shelf. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you walked past the stairs to take a closer look at the bottle.

“Unicorn blood…” You read the label out loud and grimaced, not knowing that unicorns had luminous blue blood. A creak sounded from behind you, causing you to gasp and turn around quickly. You widened your eyes when you saw a young man holding a wand threateningly at you. He stood on the stairs, wearing what you assumed what his night clothes that consisted of navy pants and nothing else. His torso was bare, and you gulped, feeling like you’d not only intruded on his home, but on his privacy. His dark brown hair was almost shoulder length, it looking shaggy from where he had been asleep when you’d barged into his home. You were slightly glad it was a wizard and not a witch, hoping he would be kinder to you than a woman would be.

“Who are you?” His voice was mellow despite his demanding tone, and it felt like soft silk against your ears.

“No one.” You frowned, not really knowing where you got this sudden bout of courage to be defensive from. His frown hardened and he flicked his wand, sparks shooting out from it and making an empty bottle on the counter beside you explode. You jumped in surprise, taking a step away from the broken glass on the floor next to you.

“Tell me.” He growled, his voice no longer sounding as lovely as it first had.

“My name is (Y/N).” You watched him wit nervous eyes, his own dark orbs not once leaving your figure.

“Who sent you?” He took another step down the staircase, the wood creaking underneath his weight, now only one more step away from being on the ground. You furrowed your eyebrows at his words, curious as to what he meant by that.

“No one sent me, I was-” You cut yourself off, not wanting to tell him what you were running from in case he decided to use it against you. “I needed shelter, there was a wolf out there.” You glanced around the cabin looking for possible exits in a hurry, even though you’d only seen the two doors which were now both locked, meaning a fast exit was out of the question. You neglected to tell him that the wolf had plenty of opportunities to harm you, but didn’t, it seemingly having helped you in comparison. He didn’t say anything for a minute, thoughts swirling around his head at what he should do with you. He’d never had anyone find him in his whole three years of living out in the forest, so he had no idea what to do.

“Get out.” He narrowed his eyes at you, taking another step down the stairs. You shook your head.

“No. I can’t go back out there! Something will kill me.” Your eyebrows knitted together, and purposely put a scared look on your face, hoping he would have mercy on you. He took another step, so he was finally on the ground, an evil smirk gracing his face.

“Maybe something will kill you in here.” His face fell back to a hard scowl. His eyes still hadn’t looked anywhere but at you, and you started to feel nervous under his stare.

“I don’t think so.” You folded your arms over your chest, trying to act as brave as you usually were now that he clearly didn’t care if you were scared or not.

“You think you’re brave, but I can see right through you. You’re just a scared little girl…I wonder what you were running from.” His voice held a taunting tone and his smirk grew as he slowly started to approach you. You tried to take a step back but were restricted by the cabinet behind you. You gulped, watching him with worried eyes.

“I told you, I was running from a wolf.” You could feel your palms start to sweat and you were regretting your decision to hide in the cabin. He lowered his wand, letting out a sigh and letting his smirk drop.

“You can take the couch. But you leave tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Sir.” You bowed to him, shuffling over to the couch and slowly lowering yourself onto it.

“If you try anything, I will personally find that wolf and feed you to it myself. Understood?”

“Understood.” You turned you head to him as he ascended up the stairs once more. You let out a sigh, thanking the gods it was a warm night out, so you weren’t going to freeze to death without any blankets. Not wanting to push your luck with the wizard whose name you didn’t even know, you laid down on the couch, having to tuck your legs up to fit properly. It was surprisingly more comfortable than you thought if would be, so you found it easy to drift off to sleep.

---

It was the uncomfortable ache in your neck that woke you up. You groaned as you stretched out on the cramped sofa, the relief you felt in your muscles causing you to moan out loud. You let out a sigh, rubbing your eyes before finally opening them. You jumped in surprise when you saw the homeowner stood over you, staring down at you. He jumped when he saw your eyes open, his face starting to glow a bright red as you stared up at him.

“Pervert.” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear, sitting up and letting out a yawn.

“I’m not a pervert, I just saw you moving and wondered if you wanted some breakfast. But you were still asleep, and I was trying to figure out how to wake you up.” He frowned, crossing his arms over his still shirtless torso. “You’re a very restless sleeper.” He mumbled before walking away from you, heading towards the kitchen which was only about five steps away. You hummed in acknowledgment and stood up, following him to the kitchen.

“What’s for breakfast?” You asked, your eyes trained on his back as he pulled out some bowls from a cupboard.

“Porridge.” He grunted, getting to work on making the food. You watched over his shoulder, grimacing in disgust at the sight of the sloppy porridge.

“I’ve never had porridge before…” He let out a sigh, turning to face you with a face of no emotion.

“That’s because its poor people food, and you clearly come from money.” He looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow at your high-class dress that was torn slightly from your trip through the forest. It was a deep emerald green, made from the finest of materials and tailored to fit you perfectly. “Are you the daughter of a lord or something?” He didn’t look at you as he questioned you, spooning the sloppy food into a bowl and passing it to you with a spoon. You grimaced, hesitantly taking a mouthful and swallowing it fast, too bothered by the pain in your stomach from hunger to care about the taste.

“I am.” You kept your eyes on him as he sat down at his tiny table and chairs, putting his bowl on the table. He also kept his eyes trained on you, not fully trusting of you.

“So why are you in my home and not in your lavish house being waited on hand and foot by your servants?” Your silence had him raising an eyebrow. You awkwardly looked around the room, letting out a long sigh as you debated whether to tell him or not.

“You don’t need to know.”

“You’re in my home. You tell me or you leave.” You looked at him with sorrow in your eyes. He wasn’t expecting to see such an emotion laying behind your eyes, his heart dropping a little at how sad you suddenly looked. He let out a sigh and shrugged. “Whatever, doesn’t matter.” He stood up and turned his back to you as he placed his bowl into a large metal tub used for washing. He winced at how soft he was being with you and he couldn’t help but mentally question himself for how he was acting with you. You finished eating and followed suit, stood beside him with your eyes locked on his body.

“What’s your name?” You asked out of the blue, ultimately disrupting the silence that had settled between you both.

“Renjun.” You furrowed your eyebrows at his name and scrunched your face up in thought.

“That name sounds familiar to me…” You didn’t notice how his fists clenched up at your words, his body becoming stiff as he waited for you to continue. “Maybe I know someone else with that name.” You shrugged it off and let out a soft laugh. “So…can I stay with you?” You smiled widely at him in hopes a smile would persuade him to let you reside with him for the foreseeable future.

“Sure.” He turned to you and plastered on a big smile to mirror your own.

“Really?” You gasped in surprise and perked up slightly.

“No.” His expression fell completely apart from the small smirk on his lips. Your face fell to a pout forming on your lips.

“Please! I can help you out with…whatever it is you do here, and I won’t be a nuisance I swear. I can clean up and er…I don’t know really…please!” When you saw that he wasn’t going to cave in so easily, you let out a sigh and whined. “I’ll do anything, just don’t send me back out there alone!” His smirk rose and he started to approach you, taking slow steps until he had you backed up against his table.

“Anything?” He looked you up and down, not missing the look of fear that flashed on your face as the intimidating stranger had your closed in. He backed off without a second thought, not sure where his compassion for you was blossoming from but he could see you were frightened at the thought of him touching you in an inappropriate way. It then struck him it was probably a man you were running from. “You can stay.” He mumbled.

---

You’d been staying with Renjun for just over a week.  You noticed he didn’t talk much, but you didn’t care, you happily chatted to him even when all you got back was a grunt in reply. He also had a knack for making you jump when you least expected it. He didn’t go out of his way to give you a fright, but the spells and potions he made would often go bang and leave you wondering if he was even good at what he did. You still had no answers as to why he was living on his own so deep in the forest, but you didn’t want to pry, he could kick you out at any moment and then you’d be stranded once more. To say you were struggling with adjusting to life outside of your home was an understatement. You were used to living in a lavish mansion with maids and servants waiting on you hand and foot. So, to live in a cramped cabin and sleep on a tiny sofa every night made you want to ball your eyes out and throw a tantrum. But you held it in. The worst part was…well the toilet, which wasn’t even a proper toilet, but in fact, an outhouse. But you didn’t want to even think about that. The next worst part was bathing. When Renjun had led you on a ten-minute walk to a small lake, you had genuinely thought he was having a joke with you. But his dead serious face told you otherwise. He had told you to bathe in the water and had given you a bar of soap. You timidly poked you toe into the water and the cold temperature had made you gasp so loud you gave him a mini heart attack.

“No. I can’t get in there.” You turned to see Renjun already in his underwear, gasping again and turning around quickly.

“Well then you’ll just have to stink won’t you.” He sounded like he didn’t care, wading into the lake and dunking his head underneath before coming up again. “It’s not that bad.” His words had you frowning. You were used to heated baths in a large silver tub, with the best smelling oils and flowers petals used. So this was a nightmare to you. When you saw Renjun wasn’t looking, you stripped down to your underwear, which were actually Renjun’s underwear as you only had the pair you were wearing when you’d ran into the forest and they were currently soaked in a tub with the rest of your laundry.

“Aren’t there fish and stuff in there?” You raised an eyebrow, slowly taking a step into the water. A shiver ran up your spine and you groaned, taking another step until both of your feet were imbedded in the floor of the lake, the mud making you cringe at the horrid feeling. You took a few more steps until you were closer to Renjun with the water coming up to your hips.

“Mermaids too.” Renjun nonchalantly said, washing himself down with his own bar of soap.

“What?!” Your eyes widened and you were about to turn back around when Renjun’s hand caught your wrist. He gave you a tug and your shoulders were soon underneath the water.

“I’m kidding.” He chuckled, letting go of you and pushing his hair back off of his face. The sun beamed down on his glistening wet skin, and you tried your hardest not to stare at how beautiful his body was. “Do I have to wash you myself or are you just going to stare at me?” He smirked and you found your cheeks heating up quickly, you turned away and started to wash yourself with the soap. “Is that what you’re used to? Having your body washed by your servant’s, little rich girl?” You knew he was mocking you, his tone light and airy.

“No. I’m fully capable of washing my own body thank you.” You huffed, your arms causing unnecessary splashes in the water as you tried to show off how you didn’t find him funny. He simply laughed and you both continued to wash yourselves in the cold water. So yeah, you hated bath time.

Apart from that, it wasn’t all that bad.

You walked through the dense trees with Renjun by your side. He was wearing a black pair of trousers with a loose white shirt that showed off the top of his chest. It was midday, so the forest was lit up well by the hot sun beating down through the gaps in the canopy. You wore one of Renjun’s long shirts as a dress, still not having anymore clothes apart from what you wore the day you arrived at his cabin. But Renjun had told you that he’d sent a raven carrying a letter to someone he can trust. He hopes they’ll bring the items he put on the list so that you can finally have some other clothes.

“So the red berries you can use to make a potion that will kill someone?” You looked at Renjun beside you, his head nodding as a reply as his eyes scoured the floor for the item you were talking about. “And the pink berries you can use to make a love potion?” He nodded again and you made a noise of amazement. “Woah, that’s spectacular!” You picked up a flower that had white petals and a blue bud. “What does this do?”

“Nothing, its just a flower.” He scoffed a laugh, pushing back some loose leaves to uncover the red berries he was talking about. You dropped the flower and stared at the berries.

“Why do you want to kill someone though?”

“Don’t ask so many questions.” He deadpanned, putting the berries into his sack.

“Are you going to make someone fall in love with you?” You tilted your head, unable to stop the questions from pouring out of your mouth.

“No. I make potions to sell on the black market. Potions that can kill, harm, or force someone into something are considered illegal and black magic. But it’s the only way I can get money and food. The person I sent a raven to is the same person who does my deals for me.”

“Isn’t he worried he’ll be caught? You get the death sentence for illegal things like that…”

“He’s a vampire, so no.”

“That’s hot.” You smirked at him, his eyed widened and he gave you a look of shock. You burst into laughter and rolled your eyes. “I’m joking, hey can you make a potion that-” Before you could finish, you stopped talking, the loud shouts that echoed through the trees causing a chill of dread to shoot through your system. The voices sounded identical to that of the ones following you when you were running a week prior. “We need to go.” You gripped onto Renjun’s arm, but the voices got louder and suddenly you were facing the one man you never wanted to see again.

“Hello my love, long time no see.” The man stood in front of you smirked, his thin lips pulling up and making him look dangerous. “I wasn’t best pleased to find out my wife had run away.” His piercing blue eyes looked you up and down. You would have run again, but you were frozen on the spot, and he had five other men stood by his side, all holding swords and looking ready to attack.

“I’m not your wife. We never got married.” You spat with hatred at him, giving him a look of disgust. Renjun stood beside you with a look of confusion on his face, his eyebrows furrowed, and fists clenched.

“I see you’ve already found yourself another man. Such a little whore (Y/N).” He sneered at you and gave Renjun a look up and down.

“I’m not with him. Don’t bring him into this.”

“Who are you?” Renjun completely disregarded everything you just said and threw himself into the situation.

“Did she not tell you about the fiancé that she abandoned? Well, to cut a long story short. I woke up one day to find my lover gone. My men soon found her hiding and she ran into the forest. They tracked her but lost her, and here we are now.”

“No. She didn’t.” You and Renjun turned to look at each other and he hit you with a hard glare. You gulped, a nervous fire burning in the pit of your stomach from how Renjun was staring at you.

“Hand her over and you can go free. But if you don’t, we’ll kill you.” Your ex-fiancé’s lips curled into a blood curdling smirk. Renjun gasped and started to stutter.

“T-take her! I-I don’t w-want no trouble!” He held his arms up beside his head in surrender. Your stomach fell through the floor at how he was giving you up so quickly without even hearing your side of the story. You thought that Renjun was going to stick by your side, but then thought that he actually had no reason to. You were simply mooching off of him and this was his opportunity to get rid of you.

“No Renjun! Please don’t do this!” You grabbed his wrist and begged him, your eyes staring into his and welling up with tears. Your heart was beating fast as two men enclosed on you, not giving you much time to escape as they grabbed you by the arms. “Get off of me!” You squealed and tried to tug yourself away from them. “Stop!” You dug your heels into the floor, but it was no use against the strong henchmen. You looked at your capture and saw his sick, sadistic smile on his face as he grabbed you by the jaw.

“I can’t wait to have you underneath me; I hope he didn’t do much damage to your pretty little cunt.” His words had you shaking at inside, tears falling down your cheeks and you didn’t even want to think of the things he would do to you. “You belong to me. Don’t forget that.” He tapped your cheek and turned to Renjun who was stood looking meek by a tree. “You did good boy. Now go home.” You were being dragged unwillingly through the forest, your back to Renjun but you wanted to scream at him for giving you over like that. You felt betrayed and it was like having a hot knife twisted in your chest.

The tight grips on your arms were suddenly gone, and a purple flash blinded you momentarily. You fell to the floor from no longer having any support from the goons who were holding you captive. You squeezed your eyes shut and heard the sounds of deep grunts, followed by thuds hitting the floor and what you could only describe as knives slashing. Strong arms wrapped around your middle and you whimpered, gripping onto the floor like it would stop whoever was attacking you.

“No! Stop!” You struggled in their arms as you sobbed, wishing you were back in Renjun’s cabin where you felt safe.

“Hey stop, it’s me.” Renjun’s soft voice whispered to you as he pulled you up into his arms. He held you to his chest and shushed you gently. “You’re okay, keep your eyes closed.” He started to walk, carrying you in his arms with ease. You couldn’t help but open your eyes to see what had happened. The sight you were met with had your mouth dropped open and fresh tears to fall from your eyes.

“You killed them?!” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to rid the image of all six men laying on the floor with their throats slit open. You don’t think you’ll ever forget the sight of your ex-fiancé as he laid on the floor, choking on his own blood as he slowly died. “How did you do that?!”

“With dark magic, I told you not to look!” You hid your face into the crook of his neck as he carried you back to his home despite the fact he’d just murdered six people in front of you. You couldn’t stop the tears the trailed down your face as you stewed in your thoughts the whole journey home. You really thought you were going to be forced into the marriage you didn’t want once again. You let out a long sigh as Renjun gently sat you on his bed. He cupped your face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “Are you hurt?” He spoke quietly, his eyes scouring over you as he checked for any marks. “Your arms are going to bruise.” He gently stroked your arms, his fingers barely touching you as he sighed. “When the bruises show, I can heal you.” He sat down beside you and hesitated before he took your hands into his own. He didn’t speak, his eyes trained on your face as he waited for you to break the silence.

“I was born into a rich family, and as soon as I turned 18, they signed me up for an arranged marriage. They recently matched me with him,” You paused, gulping back your emotions as you looked up at the ceiling. “he’s abusive. He would hit me, force me to do things I really didn’t want to do…”

“Did he rape you?” Renjun whispered, his stomach fluttering with butterflies as he waited for you to respond.

“No.” You shook your head, sighing and turning to look at Renjun. “He was waiting for our wedding night.”

“Bastard.” His fists clenched and he growled in disgust.

“So I ran away. That night I broke into your home, I was being chased by his men. A white wolf chased them away and I’m sure it saved me on purpose.” You looked into Renjun’s dark eyes, noticing a strange look behind them that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Snowy.”

“Sorry?” You raised an eyebrow in confusion at him.

“Her name is Snowy. Well, it’s not actually her name, but she can’t talk so I just call her Snowy.” He nodded with a small smile on his face as if he was proud of what she did. He gave your hands a squeeze but made no effort to lose contact with you. You had never felt safer in your entire life as what you felt in the middle of the most dangerous forest, in a run-down cabin, with a man you’d only known for just over a week. You felt a sudden rush of affection and thankfulness towards him, knowing if he hadn’t been with you, then you’d be made to marry that monster. You didn’t even want to think of the things he would have done to you as punishment for running away. You leaned your head in, hesitating before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek with your eyes closing as you made contact. Renjun stiffened momentarily, but then relaxed, a soft smile playing at his lips as his cheeks started to turn pink fast.

“Thank you for saving me.” Silence ensued after you pulled away, and you both sat wordlessly on his bed for five minutes before he spoke up once again.

“My mother was the castles witch, or healer as some would say.” He took a deep breath and stared you in the eye, you felt his grip on your hand tighten as he worked up the courage to finally tell his story to someone after so many years of keeping it to himself. “I never knew my father, she just used to tell me that he was a coward and we were better off without him. Anyway, throughout my life, my mother would help me with the gift that she’d passed down to me, and I was getting really good with using magic. One night I decided I needed some answers about my father, so I snuck into her work room and spent hours searching for a recipe for a truth potion. I found it and I brewed it in secret whilst she slept. The next morning I slipped it into her drink, and by midday she was spilling all sorts of secrets out that I never knew about.” He let out a sigh and you noticed that his eyes started to fill with tears.

“You haven’t got to tell me anymore.” You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand to try and comfort him. “If its too much you haven’t got to.”

“No, I want to.” He took another deep breath and sniffed back his tears. “I asked her about my father, and she said that the King is my father. I got really mad that she never told me, and I threw things around and I said some really nasty stuff. I felt like something was boiling inside of me that I couldn’t control. So I left, because I didn’t want to hurt her. The next thing I did was find the King. Obviously, he knew who I was and that I was his son. We argued and I kept shouting at him, he told me to stop or I would regret it. I didn’t believe that he’d do anything though because it just sounded like empty threats, and I was so angry. He’d slept with my mother when he was married to the Queen, so he never wanted anyone to find out. Then a month after I was born the Queen gave birth to the Prince, so the King threatened my mother that if anyone ever found out, he’d have her killed.” His eyes started to blink faster as he continued on with his story, his eyes glossier than before. “I didn’t stop shouting at him, so he had his guards restrain me while they went to collect my mother. He had them hold me in front of her whilst he slit her throat.” His face crinkled up as a sob left his lips, the memory paining him and causing a dam to burst inside of him. You gulped, your own eyes filling with tears at the thought of what he’d been through.

“Oh no…” You let go of his hands and instead wrapped your arms around his torso, bringing him close to you and rubbing his back in slow circles. “Renjun…” His frame rocked from the sobs he let out. He sniffed and wiped his eyes with his hands, letting out a long breath and gulping.

“They killed her in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.” He pulled away from your embrace and took your hands back in his own instead, missing the feel of your soft hands within his own. He entwined your fingers with his own and kept his eyes on them as he played with them. “They threw me on the floor in her blood, and I felt so much rage and sadness that I didn’t know what to do. I ran back to my room and I grabbed my wand, I wasn’t even thinking, my legs just carried me. I went to find the King again, but before I could get to him, I came across the Prince in the hall.” He winced as he started to explain what happened next. “I grew up with the Prince, he was my closest friend and the Queen would encourage us to play together despite the fact I was a workers son. She’s a very kind woman, and I believe she knew about her husband’s affair, but she never held it against me or my mother. Obviously, he was worried when he saw me covered in blood, and he kept firing questions at me and trying to stop me from where I was going, he didn’t know I had the intention of killing his father. I was getting overwhelmed, especially with my newly found brother being in front of me. Other people heard the commotion and they came to watch, it was when the King came around the corner that I lost it. I saw red. And Jeno was in my way…” He paused as he thought about how to explain what happened next to you. He squeezed your hand tight as he spoke. “I remember seeing a bright green light emitting from my wand as I raised it at him, then suddenly he was laying in a heap by his fathers’ feet, but he wasn’t human anymore…he was a wolf. I can remember the burning feeling I had in my gut as I fired the curse at him, but I didn’t mean to. I never wanted to harm him, I loved him like a brother, and I was devastated at what I’d done. So I ran, the same way that you had.”

“You had no other choice Renjun, how old were you?”

“Sixteen.” He sighed, resting his head on your shoulder as he shut his eyes. “The feeling I had back then was the same feeling I felt today when those men had their arms around you.” His face hardened and he scowled at the memory.

“You were just a kid; you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” You tried to reassure him, but you knew it probably made no difference to him. “And you had no other choice today, its not like you had a sword and could fight them in combat.”

“I did though, I wanted other people to hurt…I killed all the knights who chased me, I’m a murderer (Y/N), I have too much dark magic inside of me to be anything other than a bad person. It’s my fault that my mother was killed, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

“Renjun, your mother was murdered in front of you, and you were so young I can only assume that you had no control of powers that strong at such a young age. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. But you can’t change what happened.” You lifted his hands up and placed a kiss to the back of one of them.

“I trust you not to hurt me.”

“I would never hurt you…” You both looked into each other’s eyes as he raised his head from your shoulder. You smiled shyly and your breath hitched as his head crept closer to your own. When your lips were a centimetre away from touching a loud howl ripped through the air, followed by a chorus of more howls. You both pulled away and Renjun stood up fast to peek out of the window beside his bed.

“What’s going on?” You asked with a horrible feeling in your gut even though you knew the threat you had run away from was no long lingering over your head.

“I think some wolves have just found the bodies, it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Oh…” You stood up from Renjun’s bed and noticed that the sun had started to set, making the entire cabin eerily dark. Renjun waved his hand over a candle in the corner of his room and a flickering flame brought a new light to the setting.

“When you first came here you said you recognised my name…why?” He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you.

“You’re a wanted man, but I think you already knew that.” He let out a soft laugh before nodding his head. You thought back to when Renjun had come across you in his home and he’d asked you who had sent you, at the time it confused you, but now it made sense. He was scared for his life, and he had a right to be.

“Yes that’s why I’ve been living deep in a forest most people wouldn’t even dare to enter.” He winked at you and made his way downstairs, you quickly stepped to the window and brushed the curtain aside, peering out into the dense trees. You could have sworn you saw some amber eyes staring at you from far away, but they were gone just as fast as they were there.

“Its been a long day.” You mumbled to yourself and shook your head, trying to clear your mind. Your cheeks heated up as you thought back to the kiss you had nearly shared with Renjun. The image of his face getting closer to your own with his really kissable looking lips was making your palms sweat. You were in the midst of thinking about how things would have turned out had your lips actually met with his own, and you were debating whether you had feelings for the boy you’d only known a week when his footsteps made the stairs creak underneath him. He was carrying your blanket and pillow in his hands which caused you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “What are you doing with those?”

“I don’t want you sleeping on the couch anymore, I just thought maybe you’d want to er…” His cheeks slowly turned red as he stumbled over his words. “Share the b-bed with me?” Your eyes widened and you glanced at his bed. It was definitely big enough to hold the both of you, and you were surprised that he felt comfortable enough with you to do that.

“No funny business?” You raised an eyebrow at him and smirked, enjoying the way he squirmed under your stare.

“(Y/N)!”

“I’m joking!”

---

The soft summer breeze was doing nothing to cool you down. The sun had caused your body to perspire and your flowy maroon dress to stick to your skin, and you took off your shoes in hopes to get some air to them. The richly colourful flowers mixed in with lengthy grass was one of the most calming things you’d witness in a long time. With the large mountains in view, a running stream so close you could hear the water trickling against the rocks, and the forest framing the spacious meadow, you didn’t want to move. The grass was soft against your body as you sat amongst it, Renjun’s head laying in your lap with his eyes shut, basking in the heat of the sun that was beating down from the endless, sapphire blue sky. You gazed down at his shining skin, smiling at the way his long eyelashes laid against his cheeks. His hair had gotten longer in the past two months that you’d known him, but he refused to let you cut it no matter how much you badgered him about it. You ran your hands through his hair and twirled the long locks around your fingers, he let out a soft sigh from how good it felt to him and nuzzled his head into your touch.

“You’re adorable Renjunnie.” You whispered, unsure if he was asleep or not, but the way his nose crinkled in disgust at your words told you he was still awake. “Don’t try to deny it.” You giggled, scratching his scalp with your fingernails as his eyes blinked open, squinting up at you as the sun was so bright.

“You were singing as you were washing our clothes this morning, yet I’m the adorable one?” He closed his eyes again but raised an eyebrow at you.

“You heard me?” You gasped with your eyes wide in surprise, a blush of embarrassment rising on your cheeks.

“Yes you weren’t exactly quiet.”

“Did I wake you up?” You picked at a flower beside you and slid it into Renjun’s hair. You smiled at your handy work and hastily picked another flower.

“No, I was already awake.” He mumbled and yawned, unaware that you were decorating his hair with flowers because your touch was so delicate.

“You kept rolling on me last night.” You sniggered, his eyes opening in surprise and catching you in the act of putting a white flower in his hair. You’d been sharing Renjun’s bed with him since the day you’d both admitted to each other why you were both on the run two months ago. You hadn’t had anymore close encounters of kissing like that had that day, but your feelings towards Renjun had grown significantly the more you got to know him. You took a keen interest in Renjun’s potions and spells, often assisting him with the brewing of potions and doing the grand job of holding his instruments. There was a time when Renjun got frustrated to the point of snapping, and you were nearly in the firing line of a ball of navy-blue fire that flew through the air. It had missed you luckily, and instead the wall of the cabin had a gaping, smouldering hole where the ball had hit it. Renjun had never apologised more in his life than that moment that he’d nearly hurt you, but it brought the two of you closer, especially when you reassured him that you trusted him.  “Why were you so restless? Did you have another bad dream?” Since you’d been sharing his bed with him, you’d witnessed a number of his nightmares. It would start with soft whimpers leaving his lips and would escalate to him becoming agitated and twitchy in his sleep. You didn’t know whether to wake him or not, as the one time you did, he’d woken with such a start that he’d pushed you off of the bed. You didn’t want a repeat of that, so you always waited it out until his body went still once more.

“No, it was a good dream.” His smile was sleepy, and he stared up at you like you were the only thing he could see.

“Care to share?” You brushed the flowers from his hair just as he sat up, leaning on his hand to keep his body upright.

“No, I’m keeping it to myself.” He winked and let out a soft laugh before sighing. “What shall we do tomorrow?” You looked away from him, staring into the dense trees as you racked your brain for ideas of what to do.

“I want to go into town.” When he didn’t reply to you, you turned to see a scowl on his face, his lips pulled into a tight line and his body visibly tense. “I just want to see other people again you know…I miss the smells, the sounds, the food…” He still didn’t speak, thoughts rushing through his head as you spoke. “Renjun say something…”

“You’re not going.” His face was still stern, his eyebrows knitted together as he kept his eyes trained on you. You scoffed in disbelief; you couldn’t believe he had the nerve to tell you there you weren’t going to do something that you wanted to do.

“I wasn’t asking you for permission.” You shot back at him, your face now mirroring his own hard look.

“I don’t care, I’m not allowing you to go to town (Y/N).” You could both see where this was heading. Your tongue pushed into your cheek and you pursed your lips at him, raising an eyebrow as a silent challenge. All your life you’d been underneath the thumb of your parents, and now you had all the freedom you could possibly want, you weren’t going to allow a male to control you again.

“I’m going. Whether you like it or not.” You shrugged at him, watching as his gaze darkened. His fists clenched as he willed the fire burning in his stomach to simmer down.

“No. You are not.” He gripped at some of the grass in an attempt to calm down. “Don’t push me.”

“What makes you think you have the right to tell me what I do and don’t do Renjun. You’re not my father, or my husband. And even if you were, I sure as hell wouldn’t be controlled by you.” You pushed yourself up onto your knees, getting prepared to storm away at any moment.

“(Y/N) do you not understand how much danger you would be in if you went to the town? You even said so yourself that there are people who work for your fiancés family that could come looking for you. You will be walking around with a target on you. What the fuck would I do? I cant go with you because I’m the most wanted man in the entire Kingdom, and I cant just wait here for you to come home, not knowing if someone’s found you, or if a fucking animal has eaten you while you were on your way home. So no. You aren’t going (Y/N). And if you do go, then don’t bother coming back.” He growled with vigour, his eyes staring to glow a disturbing purple colour. Your mouth popped open as you witnessed what you believed to be dark magic taking over the Renjun that you knew. You’d never actually seen first-hand what the dark magic did to his physcial features, only ever seeing the aftermath of his rage running through him. You didn’t know how to calm him down, so you did the one thing you’d been wanting to do since that day he’d saved your life. You cupped his face in your soft hands and pulled his lips to meet your own. You squeezed your eyes shut, so you couldn’t see if what you were doing was helping him to calm down or not. You felt his hands come to rest on your waist, his grip tight to begin with but soon loosening as you moved your lips in perfect time with his. He pulled you from him and you opened your eyes to look at him. He stared into your eyes, his sight flicking down to your lips as he held his hands to your hips. As you looked into his brown eyes, you noticed that sadness behind them and it made your heart sink. He’d already lost the person who meant the most to him in the world, and he no longer had his best friend either. You could see why he was getting upset and angry and immediately regretted how you acted. He visibly gulped

“I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered as you looked to his parted lips.

“Good…” He leaned in once more and slotted his lips between your own. Your eyes shut automatically and you leaned into his touch, stroking your thumbs against his warm cheeks. He very slowly lowered you against the long grass, holding his body over your own as he worked his lips against yours. The feel of his tongue pushing against your own was something you’d never felt before, but it was a welcomed touch, it igniting a fire within you that was new to you. He moved his kisses down your jaw to your neck, sucking softly at your skin and squeezing your hips with his hands.

“I’m in love with you (Y/N)…” He whispered against you, letting out a sigh and resting his forehead in the crook of your neck. He gulped, screwing his eyes shut as he admitted his feelings towards you. “Please love me back.” You could barely hear him as he’d said the words so quietly, his voice cracking from how he got choked up. It broke your heart.

“Renjun…” You laid your hands on his back, rubbing them around in slow circles. You leaned your head against his, holding him to you tightly to comfort him. “I’m in love with you too.” He pulled his head back to look into your eyes, a small smile on his face as he looked down at you.

“I don’t want to lose you; I can’t lose anyone else.” His eyes welled with tears, making them appear glossy and darker than usual.

“You don’t have to, I won’t go.” You lifted your head and placed a tender kiss to his lips.

“Good.” He murmured against your lips, getting lost in your mouth once more. You kissed him for what felt like hours, but in reality, it was only ten minutes, before he descended to kiss at your neck.

“That feels good.” You smiled, your eyes shutting as he sucked a dark bruise into your neck. He smirked, licking a stripe up your skin and letting out a low chuckle. Your legs wrapped around Renjun’s hips, your hands fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck as he rolled his hips against yours. An involuntary moan spilled from your gaping lips, new feelings of excitement blooming inside of you that you’d never felt before. “Do it again.” You encouraged him, his hips rolling into yours again but with more force. He smiled, giving your lips one last peck before he sat back on his feels, his eyes staring down at your chest as it rose and fell fast from how thrilled you were. His shaky hands reached out as he took the top button of your dress between his fingers. He hesitated, looking you and biting his bottom lip. You nodded your head when you realised that he was wordlessly asking you for permission. He popped open the first button, then worked on opening the next 3 until your bra was on show. He placed both of his hands over your breasts, squeezing them over the plain material and letting out a throaty moan at the sight of what he was doing. You already knew that Renjun was a virgin, and that he’d never even seen a woman naked until he accidentally walked in on you naked one time. But you also knew he’d read books about sex, and that his mother had gotten the castles gardener to give him ‘the talk’ when he was fourteen. You’d also had ‘the talk’ given to you by your mother at the age of sixteen, and you snuck out multiple times to buy adult books that had very graphic explanations of sex in them. But no one needed to know that.

His hands wrapped around your torso and he quickly untied your bra, pulling the loose fabric from your body and setting it down beside you. “Wow…” He mumbled, his mouth popping open in awe at your body. He leaned in, placing gentle kisses to the top of your breasts while he cupped them with his hands. His lips trailed down, and he took one of your nipples between his lips. He looked up at you as he sucked at the sensitive bud, a small gasp falling from your lips at the spark it sent through you. He looked so innocent and content as he swirled his tongue around your nipple, his hips grinding lazily into yours. He moaned against you, his cock quickly hardening in his pants as he moved to the other breast to give it attention. He sat back on his heels once more, palming at his erection and biting his bottom lip. You smirked, sitting up and not hesitating before ridding yourself of your dress completely, only wearing your plain white panties. He followed your lead, pulling his loose white shirt off over his head before shimmying out of his pants. Your lips met in the middle, his hands framing your face as he drove his tongue into your mouth once again. Without thinking, you reached a hand out and squeezed at his hard length through his pants. He pulled back and sucked in a harsh intake of breath, his eyes screwing shut as he sounded pained.

“Is that good or bad?” You immediately withdrew your hand and looked worried, your eyes wide and dripping with simplicity.

“Good, too good.” He grabbed your hand and placed it back where it was before. You giggled softly, rubbing your hand against him as he bucked his hips up towards you. You slipped your hand into his underwear and gulped when you felt his cock against your hand. You didn’t have anything to compare it to, but you were happy with the size of it, but you had a daunting feeling sitting in your gut at whether you were confident in having something of that size inside of you. He pushed his underwear down and set them aside with the rest of his clothes. He watched your face as you stared at his rock-hard appendage, your hand having stilled. “Are you okay?” He took your hand in his and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Renjun I’ve been sleeping in a bed with you for the past two months, you have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do this with you. It’s happening.” You grasped him in your hand once more, shuffling yourself forward on your knees as you very slowly stroked his cock. He reached his own hand out and slowly stroked your folds, his eyes widening in surprise at how wet you were already. He didn’t really know what he was doing, but he found your dripping hole fast and slid a finger inside of you. “Oh…” Your mouth popped open and you found your hips moving instinctively against his hand, rolling them in time to his finger dipping in and out of you. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his lips trailing up to where he’d made a dark bruise on your neck. You moaned at the slight pain you felt when he nibbled at the sore spot but leaned into his touch anyway. He slowly slid another finger inside of you, stopping his ministrations when you whimpered in pain, your body going stiff and your hips raising.

“Did I hurt you?” You could hear the worry in his voice, it warming your heart that he was being so gentle with you.

“A little, just give me a few seconds to adjust.” He stayed completely still until you gave him the go ahead, his digits slowly moving in and out of you in a steady rhythm. You took in a deep breath and felt your thighs start to quiver from the little pangs of pleasure you felt every time he plunged his fingers inside of you. He pulled his fingers out of you and gave you a gentle nudge as a wordless hint for you to lay down. You laid back into the long grass, the kaleidoscope of colours from the flowers made your colour pop underneath the sun, the light sheen of sweat over your body making you glisten. Renjun was stunned by your beauty. His heart pounding in his chest as he stared down at the woman he’d fallen in love with in such a short time.

“Tell me if I hurt you or if you want to stop.” He spat in his palm and then stroked his cock a few times. He leaned over you, bracing himself up on one hand beside your head as he used his other hand to guide his cock to your entrance. He rubbed the head of his leaking member against your entrance, coating the head with your juices before very tenderly pushing it against the oozing cavern presented to him. You tensed up, wincing as it felt like you were being split in half.

“Stop!” You whimpered and he halted instantly. You felt bad when you saw the worried look on his face, his lips opening and closing as he tried to garner what to say. “Try again…”

“No. I don’t want to hurt you (Y/N)!” He was about to back off, but you grabbed him by the hair to stop him from moving. “Ow!”

“Sorry! Please, try again.” You pouted up at him, your eyes going comedically wide at him. He let out a sigh and nodded his head in obligement. When your hands had let go of his hair he quickly pulled away, much to your dismay. But before you could whine at him, he scooted backwards in the grass, gripping your thighs in his hands and pulling your hips upwards so that you were laying flat on your back again, your legs spread in front of him. He dipped down without a word and licked a stripe from your hole to your clit. A new feeling came over you as his tongue came in contact with the little bundle of nerves you’d only ever read about in the erotic books you’d secretly read. He watched your reaction and parted your folds with his fingers, leaning in and flicking his tongue against the little bud again. “Oh my…” You breathed out, leaning your head back as you felt like sobbing from how good it felt. He pushed his two fingers inside of you again, working them in and out of you as he sucked on your clit. Without you even noticing he added one more finger, moving them faster as he loosened you up. You felt what you could only describe as an explosion slowly building inside of your stomach, your toes curling and thighs starting to shake as the feeling got stronger.

Without saying anything, he suddenly withdrew from you, leaving you on the edge of your orgasm without even realising it. He hovered over you and very slowly started to push his cock into you once more. You still felt a slight string of pain, but it was considerably duller feeling that what it had been on his first attempt. He stopped once he was fully sheathed inside of you, his forehead resting against your own as you both adjusted to the new feeling. “Make love to me.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. His lips met yours in a lingering kiss as he slowly pulled his hips back, pushing inside of you once more. He repeated this until he picked up a leisurely rhythm. He panted and let out soft groans against your lips, your orgasm slowly building back up until you were whimpering for more. You gripped at his back, digging your nails into his perspiring skin as his thrusts started to lose pace. The moment didn’t last as long as you would have hoped, as his body tensed up, he let out a guttural moan as he spilled his hot cum inside of you. He moved his hips slowly for a few moments before he pulled out, the over-stimulation becoming too much for him. He wiped his forehead with his hand and looked down at you.

“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t think it would be that quick…” His cheeks flared up a bright red as he became embarrassed as his short performance. You giggled gently, biting your bottom lip as you watched him.

“You can always use your mouth again…I liked that a lot.” You shyly spoke, your own cheeks flaring up at how lewd your words sounded. A proud smirk rose up on his face as he leaned down, watching as his cum dribbled out of your hole. He used his fingers and pushed it back inside of you, attaching his mouth to your clit and sucking at it profusely as he rammed his fingers in and out of you. It didn’t take long for your first ever orgasm to crash into you like a tree falling on top of you. The air was snatched from your lungs and you saw stars that clouded over your vision. You tried to catch your breath, but you were struggling as your body adjusted to life after your orgasm. Renjun pulled his fingers out of you and watched against as his cum seeped from you, his bottom lip being tugged between his teeth in fascination. He didn’t want to alarm you, so he didn’t tell you about the small amount of blood mixed in with the white of his cum. He grabbed his shirt and hurried to clean you up with it, helping you get dressed and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. He had to help you stand up, your legs wobbly from the strain they’d been through. You wrapped your arms around him and smiled up at him with a look of pure admiration and love settled on your features.

“What are you thinking?” You grinned up at him, curious as to what was playing on his mind after what the two of you had just done.

“That it was exactly like my dream…what are you thinking?” He’d put his pants back on but opted not to wear his now dirty shirt.

“How happy I am, thank you for taking me in and giving me this life.” You pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, unable to stop the wide smile that spread across your lips.

“I should be the one thanking you, I finally have someone to care about again. I was so lonely…”

“You never have to be lonely again.”

---

The gentle lull of Renjun’s soft voice was causing your eyes to droop. The flickering fire in front of you was creating a warmth over you that made you just want to drift off into the land of sleep. The sun had long gone down, and after a filling meal you and Renjun had cooked together had been consumed, you decided to snuggle up to him on the sofa. It was his idea to read a book aloud as your entertainment for the night. At first, you’d thought of it as a good idea, but the more he droned on, not putting much enthusiasm into making different voices for the different characters like you did, the sleepier you felt. You were surprised in yourself that you didn’t want him to bend your legs behind your ears and give you the fucking of a lifetime like you did most nights since you’d both lost your virginities to each other over a month prior. You’d been surprised when Renjun had brewed a strange tasting concoction that he claimed would prevent you from falling pregnant, and truth be told, you dreaded swallowing the sickly liquid that tasted like dirt. But if it meant you could have as much sex as you liked without the chances of creating unwanted babies, then you’d drink gallons of the stuff. Its not that you didn’t want children with him, but it just wasn’t convenient with your living situation. Your home was too tiny, and you could barely look after yourself at your age after having been spoilt your entire life by your parents. So babies were out of the question until a later date.

“Are you still awake?” Renjun paused his reading to ask you, his head leaning back to try and see your eyes from where you had your head pressed into his chest.

“Hmm.” You made a short noise to show that you were still listening to him, even if you had lost what was happening in the story, he was telling you. You got lost in your thoughts once more as he started again. You thought back to his past, and about how he told you he was the son of the King. A question popped into your mind that you couldn’t help but ask immediately. “If you’re the King’s first son, then aren’t you the heir to the throne?” You cut him off and he went dead silent as he thought about your words. He didn’t often like to talk about his past, and if it got brought up, he would hurry to change the subject, or he’d distract you with kisses and random flowers that he magicked up out of nowhere.

“No. I’m an illegitimate son that was born out of wedlock. I couldn’t ever sit on the throne, and I don’t want to. It’s not the life for me.” He shrugged, closing the book and setting it down on the table beside the sofa.

“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say, so started to look around the cabin awkwardly. You stared out of the window into the dark forest, noticing a pair of amber eyes staring back at you. You remembered back to the time you’d seen them before but had dismissed it as your imagination. You knew it was Snowy’s eyes, as her eyes were a vibrant green, not a threatening amber like the ones staring back into you. You gulped, ripping your eyes away and pulling away form Renjun. “There’s someone…something watching us.” You whispered, a horrible chill rippling through you and settling in the pit of your stomach in a horrible ball of anxiety.

“What?” He frowned, sitting up and reaching for his wand on the table.

“Outside.” You flicked your eyes over to the window subtly, not wanting the creature to know that you were alerting someone of its presence. One thing you’d learned from your time living in the forest was that the habitants of the dangerous woods were very smart. Your stomach dropped further into the floor when the eyes were gone. “It’s gone…” Renjun jumped up and you both went dead silent. You could feel your hands shaking unwillingly as Renjun held a hand out to the fire, turning it from a flickering flame to a dull ember that didn’t give off as much light.

“I’m scared.” You whispered as rustling noises came from outside the wooden walls of the cabin. You gulped, tears filling your eyes as Renjun pulled you to your feet. He wrapped an arm around your protectively, but you knew he was only doing it to comfort you. The rustling circled around the house before coming to a dead stop, the silence eerily haunting you and all you could hear was your own heartbeat thudding inside of your chest. No more noise was heard from outside so Renjun placed his wand on the table once more, going over to the window and drawing the curtain shut.

“It’s gone, probably just a curios wolf. It happens every now and then.” He went back to you and cupped your face in his hands. “Nothing will hurt you as long as I’m still breathing okay?” You opened your mouth to reply, but as you did, the door to the cabin caved in with an ear-splitting noise of the wood splinting and crashing to the floor. You screamed, Renjun pushing you behind him as he made to grab for his wand. In front of you, where the door had once been, was a wolf bigger than any you had seen before. Its fur was as black as a starless night sky. The same amber eyes staring at you as what had been before through the glass of the window. The wolf stared straight at Renjun, not even glancing at you as it bared its teeth. But it made no move to attack either of you. Renjun had his wand raised, staring at the wolf almost as if the two of them were challenging each other. It couldn’t even fit through the doorframe, only its head poking in through the gap where the door once was. You wondered why Renjun hadn’t done anything to get rid of the wolf, not even saying anything as a warning to it. The wolf backed off and disappeared out of sight, leaving you confused and without answers. “Stay here.” Renjun’s voice was stern as he addressed you, his legs moving fast as he rushed through the exit of the cabin.

“Don’t go out there!” You squeaked, not listening to him as you followed him quickly. When your body hit the cool night air you looked at Renjun who was froze on the spot. In front of him was a naked young man, who had hair that matched the wolfs fur, with amber eyes to match. You gulped, not saying anything as you stayed back and watched the two men stare at each other.

“Jeno…” Renjun finally spoke, his voice coming out raspy as his throat had dried up in shock at seeing his brother in front of him.

“Took you long enough to recognise me, considering it was you who did this to me.” The boy growled back, baring his teeth at Renjun like a wolf would. You couldn’t quite believe what was happening in front of you. Renjun had finally been found by his brother and was being confronted about what he did.

“Jeno it was an accident.” Renjun sighed out, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“I don’t give a fuck if it was an accident! You ruined my life, and then ran off before I could even find out why the fuck you did this to me!!” He sounded mad, his voice coming out like a growl. He stretched his neck out and took in a deep breath like he was trying to control himself.

“I had to run away; your father would have killed me for what I did to you.”

“Good. I want answers, then I’ll decided whether I let you live or whether I rip your throat out.” Your face crinkled up as he said that, tears falling from your eyes as you realised the severity of the situation. Jeno flicked his gaze to you, and then he looked back at Renjun. “You don’t deserve any happiness.” Renjun sighed, dropping his wand to the floor and slowly approaching Jeno.

“Fine.” He took a deep breath and his shoulders tensed as he starting to explain to Jeno. “Your father killed my mother, and I wanted revenge. I was on my way to get my revenge when you got in my way. I told you to move and you didn’t. I couldn’t help the dark magic that came out of me Jeno. I never wanted to do this to you Jeno…you know how close we were, and I am sorry.” Jeno narrowed his eyes as he listened, his eyes widening once when Renjun blamed Jeno’s father for his mother’s death. He screwed his eyes shut and let out a yell in frustration.

“It makes no fucking sense Renjun!!! Why would my father just randomly kill your mother?!”

“Jeno…you don’t know do you?” Renjun’s voice suddenly sounded very soft, almost like he was on the verge of tears.

“Know what?” Jeno gulped as he waited for Renjun to speak. Renjun took a deep breath and spoke clearly.

“I’m your brother…”

(A/N: Hi! I hope you liked this instalment to the Charia Kingdom series, if you liked it, please reblog it and give me some feedback if you want me to continue on with the series. thank you!)

[kitkatopinions]

Accidentally deleted my Tyrian and Watts asks while I was trying to fix a mistake so... Sorry about that, everyone! Here they are! Tyrian and Watts for the RWBY character asks!

Let’s do Tyrian first, because I have less to say about him, I feel like.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. Dysfunctional villainous romance of the century, no one knows how they’ve managed to make it to their tenth anniversary without killing each other, including them. Tyrian/Salem is my second top ship for him. Major Bellatrix/Voldy vibes with this one, but I could see it. Tyrian/Hazel is my third ship for lack of options. Does this one make sense? No. But I can at least see Tyrian being super flirty and Hazel being endlessly tired, but never really stopping it. (Also I hate Hazel so much lol.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Tyrian/Qrow sucks for me. Like... I kinda feel like two people fighting each other just gets shippers, which is fine and totally understandable. But for me, Tyrian poisoning Qrow and almost killing him and calling his beloved niece a bitch and then killing Clover is a big no from me, dog. On that note! Tyrian/Clover is also one big no from me, since Clover murdered him. And Tyrian/Ozpin is another really big no from me. Tyrian and his crazy Salem worship can stay five hundred and fifty feet away from my son.

My biggest criticism for the character

They went a little too much on the crazy in the fourth and fifth season and it made him feel annoying. Like, I don’t mind the Bellatrix vibes, but I do mind the movie version Bellatrix vibes, sometimes. It just got kinda annoying. I wish his crazy was always more on the dangerous side and less on the kooky side, but that’s just personal opinions.

My favorite thing about the character

The way people are so uncomfortable around him. Whenever Tyrian talks to Emerald or Mercury, he’s honestly freaky. Like both me and the characters are waiting for him to snap. That’s a great quality in a villain that we’re meant to hate or love to hate. He has a real presence and it’s enjoyable.

A headcanon I have about them

Tyrian doesn’t often try to act normal, but he can, and he’s got a great ‘respectable, cool guy’ act that’s actually a little reminiscent of Qrow or Clover. He’s even passed himself as a Huntsman here and there.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

More involvement in volumes 4 and 5, and I’d treat him a bit more seriously and make him a bit more dangerous. Maybe I’d have him wound a member of Team RNJR in his attack as well as poison Qrow (maybe give Jaune a reason to unlock his semblance in season 4 and in response to the pain of a member of his team. Also, his ‘Tyrian purple’ color should be more than just the color of his eyes. Like, how come so many RWBY characters season 4 and onward have such boring colors? I’d give Tyrian some strong purple and pink.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Tyrian alludes to the animal fable ‘the Scorpion and the Frog,’ and that’s... really in name only, I think. A part of me wants to give them some kind of points for having Qrow work with him against Clover, only for Tyrian to kill Clover, which lines up with his ‘its just my nature’ scorpion stinging the frog so that they’ll both drown and die. But they didn’t mean for Qrow to really be wrong! They didn’t mean for the lesson to be ‘Qrow shouldn’t have trusted the poisonous villain’ it was ‘wowza does Qrow’s semblance hurt him. :( Too bad Clover got himself killed.’ Which makes the whole allusion kind of suck.

Now for Watts, the single best villain in my opinion.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. See above. This ship would be a dysfunctional mess, but it’d be a wild ride. Watts/Villain!Ironwood. I kind of hate this ship when it’s ‘fallen hero turned villain’ Ironwood. But if he actually had been written as a secret villain or obviously headed that way from the start, I can see him and Watts also being a dysfunctional mess of a wild ride ship, only with way more ‘evil power couple’ vibes than Tyrian and Watts would have. Also my favorite version of this features Watts having been the one to build Penny (maybe by stealing the plans from Pietro) and him and Ironwood raising a still bright and cheerful, still innocent and trusting, villain Penny who will attack to kill with a smile on her face and a ‘it was nice meeting you!’ And this is very weird and niche but Watts/Evil Stepsister (specifically the one with the sharp bangs and highlights.) Someone sent me an ask saying the Evil Stepmother and stepsisters should’ve been connected to Salem and gotten Cinder involved and I totally agree with this. I then started envisioning a world where the step sisters competed with Cinder and all three of them were raised in Salem’s circle. In this version of things, I could totally picture one of the step sisters having a romantic tension driven connection with Watts and the two of them subtly flirting sometimes (and bonding over their mutual hatred of Cinder.) I picked the sister with bangs for no real reason except that I like her look more.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Watts/Cinder. Watts thinks of her like a bratty little girl, and Cinder kills him. Watts/Lionheart. Kinda really hate this one because of how clearly Lionheart was terrified of him. Just a bit uncomfortable for me to see that in a relationship. Watts/Hero!Ironwood or Watts/HeroTurnedVillain/Ironwood. Sorry, but Ironwood in canon got such a bad, bad portrayal in season 8 and the end of season 7, and I just can’t help but blame Watts for quite a bit of it. I only like them as a ship if Ironwood is an antagonist from the start.

My biggest criticism for the character

They shouldn’t have killed him! He was one of Salem’s best followers and one of the best villains and it was such a big mistake to kill literally one of the only actual loyal followers. It threw off any character development for Cinder and it was a big mistake. I really wanted the Cinder / Watts / Neo team up to keep going! I’m so disappointed it got thrown away.

My favorite thing about the character

Watts is an entitled, petty bastard, and I think that’s so good for a villain that isn’t meant to be social commentary (because tbh, RWBY never should’ve tried to be social commentary.) Watts isn’t sympathetic, he’s an Atlas born and raised guy in a three piece suit, he’s posh, he’s upset because he wasn’t given exactly what he wanted. Most of the villains in RWBY are either victims of abuse, systemic oppression, or poverty, and that’s... Not fun in a show that’s never handled social commentary well and is about magical girls destroying Voldemort/Satan with the power of friendship (Ruby literally never says anything about Faunus rights iirc.) Watts is refreshing because he’s exactly the type of villain that you can expect in a show like what RWBY should’ve been, and he flourishes as that. Why would we be sympathetic to Watts when he’s just doing this all because he wasn’t picked first for his tech? Why would we feel soured towards conflicts with Watts and Team RWBY? He’s just a petty bastard being evil because he was snubbed. Why would we be frustrated that incredibly significant problems are being shoved to the side with Watts? He’s a fun villain, he’s not meant to be more, he’s not meant to make you emotionally invested only to then be gutted for it. You can hate to love him without it feeling bad. Maybe that’s why he’s just my favorite non-kid villain (other than Roman.)

A headcanon I have about them

Watts has been trying to build his own AI robot like Penny, in his spare time. He wanted it to be done in time to become a Maiden, but it wasn’t, and Salem gave that slot to Cinder and got after Watts for not contributing enough. He of course thought this was deeply unfair (especially after being made to contribute a lot to Cinder’s Beacon success without getting any credit for it.) And this just fueled his hatred of Cinder, his hatred of Pietro and Ironwood, and by extension, his hatred of Penny.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I would keep him freaking alive and keep up the pair up he had going on with Cinder and Neo! But also I’d increase his relationships with Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Hazel... Just some more Salem’s Inner Circle moments to flesh out their characters. Other than that, I wouldn’t change much. He’s a pretty good character.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Okay, I’ve talked about his character allusion in a very long post awhile ago, but I’m not scrolling down that far to tag it. To sum it up... I hate his allusion. XD I loved the Sherlock Holmes books and read most of them, and I didn’t realize he was supposed to allude to John Watson until I read someone else’s post saying so, and I started freaking out about how awful it was. Watts has so little in common with Watson, he’s essentially the anti-Watson. Which basically means he’s Sherlock Holmes, the opposite of Watson in almost every way, up to and including freaking faking his death which is one of the most iconic Sherlock Holmes thing ever. Watts is everything Sherlock Holmes is on his worst days, arrogant, callous, consumed with his projects, petty, smug, over the top - as well as being hyper intelligent and a genius who often just gets passed over. He has rivalries with his colleagues like Holmes did. And like I said, he faked his death, only to reveal himself to an old friend later on the cusp of carrying out a scheme. He’s evil Holmes! He has nothing to do with John Watson - caring, humble, down to earth, not brilliant like his friend but content to be ordinary and special because of his emotional depth and devoted heart, medical former doctor who spends quite a lot of time chronicling the successes of someone else because he’s content to live in the background. Don’t get me wrong, a ‘Watson’ character who is evil could work - Watson himself indulged in crime for the sake of Holmes sometimes in the original works and if he worshipped Salem or one of her followers and did everything for her while still being a more humble, more friendly, not brilliant person he could be good - but Watts is not that person. Even the gimmicks Watts is given are stupid and don’t make it obvious he’s Watson. Boy’s got a moustache and a revolver and they thought that’d be enough. Idk why they thought 'we’ll make him Watson’ when he’s clearly a Holmes! Also, he’s supposed to be ‘Watson if he’d met Moriarty instead of Holmes,’ and to that I say boo! Watson wouldn’t turn into a super genius just because he meets a different mastermind!

...That’s summing up my feelings, yeah. Because I have so many feelings about his warped, weird character allusion. If I was changing it, I’d just make him Holmes like I think he was clearly supposed to be.

[tea-at-221]

The TJLC Debacle: 3 years out from S4 and counting; the copyright mini-theory; so much salt I’m bloated; but in the end, there is peace (I love you Johnlockers)

Ugh, don't even talk to me about Mary.

Don't even talk to me about the way Mofftiss have said they're sick of responding to fans on the subject of Johnlock. Of how they've said they're "not telling anyone else what to think or write about them" (as if they could stop us; as if they even own Sherlock themselves. Do keep reading, because this point becomes much more relevant and in-jokey later on). Don't even mention how they've bitched and whined incessantly because--god forbid--fans got *really really* into their show and emotionally invested.

They're so eager to discount all the beautiful little moments they wrote as accidents. And Arwel, who planted all those props, continually demonstrates that he's on their side (a not-very in-depth-analysis of his Instagram account and the way he interacted with fans towards the beginning of the pandemic showed as much, but I think maybe he’s grown a bit wiser and quieter since at least in terms of Johnlock and all things elephant-related. I don’t know for sure because I stopped looking.)

Anyway--they'd actually prefer for us to celebrate our own intelligence, is I suppose a charitable way of looking at it: our ability to make connections between things in the show; our metas on symbolism; our insightful fanfic; etc., and denounce them as the bad writers that they ultimately are.

More under the cut.

(This post may be of interest to you especially if you came to the fandom a bit later: multiple links to things of relevance/quotes/explanations appear both within and at the end of this entry.)

Because what makes a writer good?

Well, an ability to make people feel an emotional connection to their work, for one. I know this is just my own perspective, but if not for Johnlock, all my emotion about the show would evaporate. There wouldn't be much else there. Other people might get something, but I wouldn’t. Is some of the writing witty and entertaining regardless of any inferred/implied Johnlock? Yeah but, eh, a lot of shows have some good writing and I just don’t give a damn about them.

What makes a writer good?

Not making promises to the reader/viewer that they'll never keep. Plot holes, leading dialogue ("There’s stuff you wanted to say...but didn’t say it.” “Yeah”) never followed through on, puns that are apparently, I suppose, unintentional (e.g. "'Previous' commander?" "I meant 'ex'").

Uh, not writing continual gay jokes that aren't actually pointing toward the inference that people are making them because there's actually something going on there under the surface. (How about just don't make those jokes ever.)

Not being, apparently, oblivious (? questionable) to the queerbaiting they're engaging in *as they’re writing it.*

Acting like their LGBT audience is in the wrong/the bad guy, instead of choosing to remain respectful in the face of dissent. Instead it's just, "we never wrote it that way" / "We never played it that way."

A lot of those other mildly witty shows don’t actually blatantly drag their most passionate fans face-down through the mud the writers themselves created. Imagine that.

I'm not even a fan of Martin Freeman anymore, for the way he handled the whole thing (getting angry, the comments he made about how the fans made Sherlock “not fun anymore”...apparently Martin’s packing up his crayons and going home?)...no offense to anyone who is still a fan of his. I don’t make it a habit to drag him. I do to some degree understand his frustration with having the whole situation taken out on him--he’s just an actor in the show--but I simply wish he’d remained as cool and professional about it as Benedict Cumberbatch instead of pointing at the fans. You’re pointing in the wrong direction, mate.

What also irks me at the end of the day is this: the subsection of people who legitimately responded badly to the TJLC/S4 debacle and went above and beyond to harass the writers and actors/actresses on social media are *few and far between*, but we've been lumped in with them by what feels like...everyone, Martin included. TJLCers/Johnlockers (not the same group, but often treated as such) have been made to look like a bunch of rambunctious, immature, demanding children time and time and again in the wake of S4.

They'd rather, what, suggest John was so in love with Mary? THAT was the relationship they wanted to uphold in that show as so significant and...what, a demonstration of how honorable it is to respect your heterosexual relationship despite, you know...ANYTHING?

Yeah sorry, I don’t believe in that. John’s text-based affair, whether a disappointment for some as to his supposed character, was a very human reaction and I kinda sorta feel like I would have reacted MUCH more strongly than that had I been John. But nope. He stayed with Mary and was *ashamed* of his wandering eye. Ashamed that maybe he wanted to be admired by someone. I can’t think of a scene, off the top of my head, where Mary ever interacted with John without belittling him in some way--if not with words, then with consistently patronizing glances.

The message here is that heterosexuality is not just acceptable, but VALUABLE, however it manifests--but god forbid anyone see a queer subtext. (Why are lgbt+ writers some of the very WORST offenders where this is concerned? And they defend it! Is this childhood nostalgia/Stockholm Syndrome of the very fondest variety or what? Gay angst is all they got if they got anything at all, so it’s still good enough as far as “representation” goes?)

They really want to tell the story of John as so emotionally/mentally fucked up that he surrounds himself with unstable people time and again. They never give any reason *why* he might do that (which they could have done even soooo subtly), or delve into his past--just, apparently it's okay to assume that Sherlock's comment about "she's like that because you chose her" is exactly that.

No. Sherlock and Mary are NOT the same. Not...*remotely*!

Mary is underhanded and evil. She lies. She manipulates. She schemes. Her “love” is based on selfishness, and her assumption that John is a simpleton and hers to mold. She's in it for herself.

Sherlock hides. He prevaricates. He feels. He loves John. He does fucked up things in the name of love, but always for the benefit of those he loves. When he screws up, which he obviously does, it’s painful to us as the audience because we see that it is painful for him when he recognizes and regrets it.

I have never seen Mary regret anything. Those crocodile tears at Christmas? More manipulation. Inconsistent with anything else we were shown about her as a character.

To even think for a SECOND that people could ship Mary and John and mentally condemn John for cheating on Mary AFTER SHE SHOT HIS BEST FRIEND...as if marriage is the be-all-end-all free pass in which every sin must be forgiven until the end of time...as if John broke any covenant with his wife beyond those she broke from the very moment she walked into his life *with an entire fake past.* Is just. Well. It's asking us to accept gaslighting as healthy, loving, normal, *preferable* behavior, so...given the source that message is coming from, it's all a bit meta.

THAT. Is insanity. Maybe Mofftiss are the sociopaths.

How these men could write characters they themselves understand so little (or tell us they understand so little because their emotional maturity has yet to surpass that of the average three-year-old’s), I will never know. I can only imagine that they have absorbed, by osmosis over their lives, real and nuanced human behavior...then churned it back out again in their writing unaware, a bit like psychopaths who teach themselves what "normal" people do so that they can pass as psychologically sound in regular society.

Remember, we *are* talking about men who do these sorts of things:

Moffat says that Sherlock is celibate and that people who claim he's misogynistic when he does things like make Irene Adler imply she's attracted to the detective (even though she's a lesbian) are, ironically, "deeply offensive" (despite lines like "look at us both" in Battersea. We aren't your therapists, Moffat--we don't care what you meant, we care what you said, and what you *said* was clear. *Implying* it does not let you off the hook).

Gatiss has proclaimed that "I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting" than the idea of ever making a show addressing LGBT issues. (That link is to a reddit forum, and I can't find the original interview anymore, but I assure you I had seen the actual article myself ages back and can't find it online again now along with some of the Martin quotes I wanted to link to. And nevermind what Gatiss has done with LGBT shows/issues since--my focus here is on what he has said, versus what he and Moffat have since claimed regarding their queerbaiting.)

Here’s a transcript of this screenshot:

"...many people come up and say they didn't realise." Despite this lack of public awareness, being part of the gay community is clearly important to Gatiss: "The older I get the more I want to give something back. I mean, I keep meaning to do something." When asked if he'd be interested in making a series about gay issues his response was enlightening:

"No, I don't think I'd make a kind of gay programme. It's much more interesting when it's not about a single issue. And equally, I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting. Of course this reflects the grand picture of everyone's strange make-up; there are good gay people and bad gay people. I wouldn't like to make an issue film around the culture of being gay."

Instead Gatiss' interest seems to lie in making a drama where sexuality is, if not mundane, part of the wider framework: "I'd quite like to do something about a quite happy, ordinary gay person who's just incidentally gay. For example, a three-part thriller for ITV where the lead character just happens to be gay; when they finally go home, say 45 minutes in, and they had a same sex partner. That to me would be genuinely progressive. It wouldn't be a three-part gay thriller for ITV. It would be that this character just happened to be gay."

--End article quote.

And instead, who is canonically gay in the series? Well, Irene Adler. The innkeepers at the Cross Keys. And perhaps most notably, the *villains*, because that's a helpful trope: Moriarty and Eurus are, in S4, both implied to be at least bisexual.

Any character should be able to be any sexuality, this is true. But can we have some main characters, the good guys, give some good representation? Can't we start making that the standard, rather than the villains and the background characters? Because so far, that is the exception and not the rule.

Writers need to be aware of the damage they are perpetuating. We are not quite in a world yet where any character should be able to be any sexuality but isn't, yet we have no problem with saying the villain is LGBT+ or looks different/functions differently than much of the viewing audience.

"Male friendship is important and valid, not everything has to be gay"--this is a popular point with casual heterosexual viewers (and, to my chagrin, some of my LGBT+ friends) who don't fully grasp what "queerbaiting" is, often even when it's pointed out to them.

The lens of heterosexuality is real. My first time through watching BBC Sherlock, I didn't see the Johnlock at all. I had to look for it and read about it. When I saw it, the lens was lifted for me, and it changed my life and the way I view things forever (and for the best).

But back to my point about how little Mofftiss seem to understand their own story/most ardent fans, and then on to my other theory: in S4 it must be that they dropped their “psychopaths emulating empathy” act and indulged in their own "insane wish fulfillment" by doing away with all of the meaning, continuity, and sense. Right?

So, here’s the alternate theory. One which is not, please remember, in their defense.

Remember that S4 is what Mofftiss are *happy* to have us believe is what they'd do with these characters, given the chance to do whatever they wanted. I repeat, in Moffat’s own words: “Insane wish fulfillment.”

Okay I get it, this pasta has been over-salted.

Without further delay: MY COPYRIGHT RESEARCH THEORY THAT EVEN I DON'T PUT MUCH STOCK IN AND WHICH DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR THEIR CRUELTY EVEN IF TRUE

Part of me also raises an eyebrow at S4 as perhaps an example of the effect of the Conan Doyle estate on any modern production in the US. While it’s true that all of Sherlock is part of public domain in the UK and has been for quite a long time, Gatiss and Moffat still talk about it being partially under copyright. Specifically, the last 10 stories. I’m supposing that this means that because Sherlock airs internationally, or due to whatever contract the BBC has with the Doyle estate, they are still limited by the copyright as to what they can “publish”.

The Doyle estate is known for being a pain in the ass when it comes to abiding by copyright law as everyone else knows and practices it. They’ve tried to argue, for example (in 2013 and, much more recently, with the advent of Enola Holmes), that because Holmes and Watson were not fully developed as their final selves until the conclusion of all 10 stories still under copyright, then perhaps the characters themselves should still be protected, basically, in full.

It’s true that certain elements of the remaining stories are still under copyright here in the US (Watson had more than one wife--uh huh, we have that to look forward to, Johnlockers; the Garridebs moment is still under copyright--yeah, I’m getting to that too; and Sherlock didn’t care much for dogs til later so that’s not allowed either, fuck off Redbeard), but the estate’s problem in 2013 seemed to be based around a fear that *gasp* some day--if not right now!--anyone could write a Sherlock Holmes story in any way they pleased, changing the characters however they wished to and giving those characters “multiple personalities.”

See the following excerpt from the Estate’s case:

“...at any given point in their fictional lives, the two men's characters depend on the Ten Stories. It is impossible to split the characters into public domain versions and complete versions.”

(Click for full transcript.)

Obviously, by this point, that’s been done in multiple iterations. So I dunno. Their argument was *more* than muddy to begin with--they just grasp at straws to stay in control, it seems.

But okay. Backing up: wasn’t there sort-of a Garridebs moment in S4?!?? you cry. Yep. But imagine this: the Conan Doyle estate taking Mofftiss to court to argue that they depicted the Garridebs moment--a moment still under copyright--in The Final Problem.

Did they, though? Did they really?

The fandom cried out about the ridiculousness--the utter disappointment--of that moment when it was shown. It was not what we would have expected/wanted. We didn’t see John injured, Sherlock reacting with tender outrage to the good doctor’s attacker.

Instead we saw some ludicrous BS that was as bad as the clown with the sword-gun-umbrella. More of that.

I think Martin probably found that it was easy to produce real tears when he thought about how fucking terrible the S4 scripts were.

Ahem. Yet, this all seems very Mofftiss-flavored in terms of humor.

I can all-too-easily imagine them saying, “HA. We’re going to show some of these supposedly copyrighted things--and if they take us to court, they’ll be laughed out of the room.” Could that explain some of the overall S4 fuckery?

Sherlock wasn’t supposed to like dogs til later stories, as previously mentioned-- is that why Redbeard pulled a “Cinderella’s carriage” and transformed into a pumpkin (Victor Trevor)? Hmm. Sigh.

It...doesn’t actually appear that the estate has any qualms about taking laughable stuff to court, I mean...*shrug.* They have the money to do it, and money is the name of the game, because you’ve got to pay for rights (cha-ching sounds).

Yep, it does seem that the estate is open to the copyrighted materials being made reality, but who knows for what price or with what caveats. The BBC isn’t, so far as I’ve ever heard, known for throwing money around. Early Doctor Who would be so much less entertaining if they’d had any sort of budget. (And in fact, more of the older episodes would exist, but apparently the BBC--in part to cut costs--reused some of their tapes.)

My bottom-line bitter is this: Mofftiss do like to amuse themselves. To please themselves and no one else, as they’ve shown time and again. Sure, they could do whatever they wanted with S4...and they did...but they were also cruel about it, and that’s what I’ll never forgive them--OR the BBC--for.

A lot of fans gave up after series 4. I was very nearly one of them. I was angry, like just about every other Johnlocker and/or TJLCer, but I was really truly heartbroken. I couldn’t look at fanfiction. My days were full of bitterness and I keenly felt the lack of the fandom outlet that had become so essential to my mental well-being. I didn't know how to overcome the disparity between TJLC and what the show actually was. I didn't know how to separate the things I loved so much from the shitty writers and the way the BBC handled things with their whole response letter (that atrocious, childish blanket response they sent to everyone who complained about S4, not just the Johnlockers/TJLCers. Related to your complaint or not, if you filed one post-S4, this was the response you got). I still boycott BBC shows/merchandise, just by the way.

I tried to link to the blanket response letter but the link didn’t want to work (it’s an old reddit post; I had difficulty finding a copy of the letter elsewhere though at one point it wasn’t so hard...Google is weird these days y’all...tell me it’s not just me) so here’s a screenshot:

Transcript:

“Thank you for contacting us about “Sherlock”.

The BBC and Hartswood Films have received feedback from some viewers who were disappointed there was not a romantic resolution to the relationship between Sherlcok and John in the finale of the latest season of “Sherlock”.

We are aware that the majority of this feedback uses the same text posted on websites and circulated on social media.

Through four series and thirteen episodes, Sherlock and John have never shown any romantic or sexual interest in each other. Furthermore, whenever the creators of “Sherlock” have been asked by fans if the relationship might develop in that direction, they have always made it clear that it would not.

Sherlock’s writers, cast and producers have long been firm and vocal supporters of LGBT rights.

The BBC does not accept the allegations leveled at “Sherlock” or its writers, and we wholeheartedly support the creative freedom of the writers to develop the story as they see fit.

We will of course register your disappointment.

Thank you for contacting us.

Kind Regards,

BBC Complaints Team

So how about that? *Did* they “register our disappointment”? We can actually check that. The BBC’s website has a monthly summary of complaints received. So what did they receive in January 2017, the month S4 aired?

Huh, what do you know. Sounds like that blanket response was exactly the “fuck you” it came across as.

But the show--the FANDOM--had filled a need in my life, and so I had to own that and make it mine, or just...let something in me die: something that felt like an actual vital organ. I had to decide that these characters mean something to me beyond what anyone else tells me they should. I had to accept my own perceptions as truth, as I do with everything else in my life. I had to overcome the idea of canon as law (BBC Sherlock isn't canon anyway; ACD is canon. BBC Sherlock is, in the end, badly written fanfiction--or--worse?--decent pre-slash fanfiction distorted by consistent lies and the hazing of the LGBT audience, topped with the dumpster fire of S4′s incoherent nonsense).

I had to take the good and throw away the bad, just like anyone else who chose to stay. The good bits of the show...dialogue, yes. Plot points, yes. These awful writers did write some good stuff sometimes.

They just broke all the unspoken rules of what not to do to your audience. And then did and said everything they could not to apologize, and to justify their own failings. Which, in the years since I began shipping queer ships beyond any others, I have unfortunately experienced more than once.

So, my vulnerability has been yeeted into the vacuum of broke-my-trustdom: no one can tell me what things should mean to me. I will decide.

I decide that all of the FUCKING AMAZING writing in the Sherlock fandom is a staple in my life that makes it worth living. And that that's okay. And takes precedence over anything the writers or anyone else associated with the show could ever say or do.

Johnlock can not be taken away. It doesn't belong to them. It never did, even if they brought us to it. It belongs to us. To the group of amazingly creative, brainy, empathetic, resourceful, vibrant, resilient people who make up this fandom.

So thank YOU, all of YOU, for giving me Sherlock, Johnlock, and TJLC.

I am SO SAD for those who never found a way to make peace with this fandom again. Let me just say that I understand that inability entirely.

I am fortunate that I found the ability in myself to cling to the joy (something it has taken my whole life to be able to do). I hope others will who haven’t yet but wish they could.

Let Mofftiss and whoever sides with them stay angry and bitter and vicious, always looking over their shoulders for anyone who dares to whisper about subtext.

I’m proud to be part of what they’re whispering so angrily about.

Thanks for sticking it out if you made it this far. I know this was very self-indulgent and rambly.

Articles of interest:

A Study in Queerbaiting (Or How Sherlock Got it All Wrong) by Marty Greyson

“We never played it like that.” - Martin on Johnlock

Henry Cavill on the Enola Holmes lawsuit

More on that--and by the way Sherlock isn’t allowed to like dogs

The way Sherlock creators told fans Sherlock & John aren’t gay is so rude

Especially for those new to the fandom who may not know the distinction between TJLC and Johnlockers and want to know more about TJLC's evolution/what it is/meta through the years

Moffat's view on asexuality, offensive to me in particular *as* an asexual person (same article where he claims he isn't misogynistic): "If he was asexual, there would be no tension in that, no fun in that – it's someone who abstains who's interesting."

Yet he says Sherlock isn't gay or straight and that he's trying to keep his brain pure which is a "very Victorian attitude"

(Nice historical research there, Moff--actually the Victorians were sex-positive).

Sherlock fans were robbed of the gay ending they deserved

Benedict Cumberbatch has lashed out at his Sherlock co-star Martin Freeman over his negative attitude towards fans

BBC complaints January 2017

Martin Freeman: 'Sherlock is gayest story ever'

From 2016: UNPOPULAR OPINION: "Sherlock" Isn't Sexist or Queerbaiting; It's Actually Trying to Stage a Revolution

Queer-baiting on the BBC's Sherlock: Addressing the Invalidation of Queer Identities through Online Fan Fiction Communities by Cassidy Sheehan

[diazpoems]

Me watching Riverdale S2:

THE WAY KEVIN IS RAISING HIS HAND TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY WHEN HIRAM ASKS FOR A VOLUNTEER FOR A WRESTLING DEMONSTRATION. THIS THIRSTY MOTHERFUCKER. HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.

I wish I could just jump into Riverdale and shake the characters and be like

Cheryl: Your parents fucking suck

Josie: Your parents fucking suck

Veronica: Your parents fucking suck

Betty: Your parents fucking suck

Archie: Your dads okay so far, I don’t know about your mom

Jughead: Your dad used to fucking suck but as a person, at his core, I don’t think he’s evil, and he’s getting better, but he’s got a ways to learn. I don’t know about your mom

Kevin: Your dad’s decent so far? Don’t know about your mom

Like especially Josie because I know it’s hard and that a lot of the trauma her mom felt probably manifested itself badly and Josie probably feels attached to her mom and like she owes her being a good daughter because her mom’s had it bad but like I also DON’T CARE. FUCKING TREAT YOUR CHILD RIGHT. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED. THATS YOUR CHILD. WOMAN UP AND BE A FUCKING DECENT PERSON. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD, FOOD IN HER MOUTH, GAVE HER A SINGING CAREER (But continue to control it and not give her leeway to think and act on her own). SHE DON’T OWE YOU SHIT. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR WEIRD LIFE-FUCKING-SUCKED-FOR-ME-BUT-IM-ALSO-A-CLASSIST-BITCH PARADOX. MY DAD’S GOT IT MADE RIGHT NOW BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS ROOTS, HASN’T FORGOTTEN THE DISCRIMINATION HE FACED AND THE FACT THAT HE GREW UP SHIT POOR EARLY ON AND HE HASN’T DECIDED “Hey, let’s ridicule people for being in a similar position that I was in!”

Basically, this is me begging for for Josie’s mom to ✨fucking do better✨

Anyways yeah normalize Riverdale characters disowning their own parents ✌🏽🥰

Hmmm. If I wasn’t completely and utterly for the Serpents before, the white serpents learning to shut the fuck up and stand with Toni and her grandfather in opposition of the genocide and colonialism that was perpetrated by Cheryl’s great great grandfather? Hell fucking yeah

Dude I’m sorta crying at the scene with Hiram seeing Veronica in her confirmation dress because he’s a piece of shit but this is how it goes down, like it’s a whole thing

I love that I immediately knew the meaning of “Catholic chic”. Apparently that’s all going to church every Sunday for the formative years of my life accomplished

I hope Penelope Blossom dies in a fire :)

OH MY GOD, LOVE SIMON CAME OUT RIGHT AROUND HERE, KEVIN IS ASKING MOOSE TO IT, MY COMFORT MOVIE OH MY GOD-

Ugh, I don’t trust Midge. Something about the tropey-ness of her being The Girlfriend™️ and her face, as well as the fact that she played Gen in tatbilb, something doesn’t sit right. The haircut feels too manic pixie, like she’s hiding something. Bad vibes

NOOO CHERYL ILL GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU 😭 GOD IM SO GONE FOR HER

Aaaaand she did some fuck shit. Aaaand Toni is pretty. Aaaand there’s the internalized homophobia.

Jughead saying that growing up Betty’s and Archie’s windows being parallel always bothered him sounds more like a jarchie admission than a bughead one, I’m just sayin’

BETTY AND JUGHEAD’S REACTIONS WHEN THEY HEAR THE BED SQUEAKING IS ME. Like the little amused but lowkey confused and baffled expression on his face as he’s like “is that their solution to everything? Can’t they ever just talk?” Like no apparently not. Me too Jug, me too-

Idk Vee, maybe he’s asking questions about your father’s line of work and the business of his associates because your dad and mom are fucking evil

What the fuck Veronica. I mean yay because that just gets us closer to Jarchie kiss but like what the fuck Vee. Also Jughead is super cute, like why does the blue eyes black hair thing absolutely melt my weak heart, like I didn’t choose to fall for this pasty ass white boy but here we are. Also Veronica’s eyes are really big and dark and pretty like girl help im falling for these two-

BETTY LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT, C’MON NOW CW, I KNOW WE’VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GROVELING WITH SPN BUT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WE NEED A JARCHIE KISS-

CAN HETEROSEXUALS PLEASE STOP FUCKING ALL THE TIME ON TV. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR STRAIGHTNESS IN MY FACE. NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT YOU KNOW.

“Entertain Jughead” 😏

DUDE. They were sitting ALONE. TOGETHER. In the WOODS. With them being the ONLY ones who haven’t kissed. DUDE.

C’MON MAN, THEY’RE STARING FUCKING LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER

If there are weird gay ships for straights then Jeronica is the weird straight ship for gays

Ok so is there a legitimate reason why Veronica is faithful to her parents and defends them to a tee and partakes in their mob shit or is she just daddy’s little fucking girl. Like it isn’t her fault that she’s been manipulated but it pisses me the fuck off. And people who want her to stay with her parents because supposedly they’re the only ones who love her even though it’s toxic and warped? Like do you have a brain?

Archie and Veronica really love supporting gentrification, classism, and Vee’s rich daddy and mommy’s innocence huh

Look i actually agree with Reggie for once, get Hiram’s ass, deal with it Veronica

Wow, nice, shaming Jug for eating. That’s cool, Arch. That’s awesome. And no Betty, she doesn’t have everybody’s vote. Because Veronica’s parents are motherfuckers and when it comes to choosing between a murderer/abuser/rich/classist/gentrifying fuck and supporting your bestie uwu guess which one im fucking picking. Also, THANK YOU JUG for explaining to your friend that even though he lives in a fantasy land where northside Riverdale is the only one worth referring to when talking about Riverdale at all and thus the only one that matters and is worth protecting, the southside exists and people live and have grown up in the southside and building a prison there where it will be even more easy to profile and incarcerate southside residents under false or exaggerated pretenses ISN’T A GOOD THING. That his own friend isn’t quite apart of his and Veronica’s and Betty’s socioeconomic caste and that he’s not going to pretend like he is, he isn’t going to be quiet about it just because you’re friends again. That he’s not going to lay down and let Archie explain what a good move for Riverdale is when he clearly means northside riverdale, let him explain how the southside needs to be dealt with to someone who grew up on the southside and knows it more (not the most, I’m not saying Jug isn’t out of his depth with certain aspects of being a full southsider) intricately than him. LIKE FUCK. ARCHIE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO. Like he just doesn’t get why building prisons and stereotyping and condemning all southsiders and gentrifying entire neighborhoods is really fucking bad and a big deal and it annoys me so much. Like yeah Arch, obviously you don’t see the big deal because it doesn’t affect you and you delude yourself that it doesn’t affect your friend either, but it actually is that bad.

In conclusion, Archie and Veronica and sometimes Betty are giving me headaches rn. Like I’m not saying Jughead is perfect at all but in this particular instance he’s the only one I agree with for the most part right now.

Yeah Arch, you see things differently because you’re not the one who’s on the receiving end of the problem

YES MOMMA ANDREWS. SNAP! GO FERAL! SHOW THAT SOB SOME CONSEQUENCES!

Ah, so this is the jarchie “break-up” scene. You know what. I feel no heartbreak. Get his ass Jug.

Get. His. Ass.

They sent Cheryl to a conversion institution. I’m literally crying. This isn’t an exaggeration. I feel like I want to cry. Just. God fucking damn it.

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GET BETTER. SHE’S NOT SICK. YOU ARE. DIE. FUCKING DIE. BURN IN HELL. AND PENELOPE BLOSSOM TOO.

“That’s not how things go in Riverdale” is a veiled way of saying “don’t challenge the upper class and don’t try to stifle gentrification,” I hope you all know

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Before I wrap up season 2 forever, I want to take a second to talk about the ladies in this show. SPN has a bad rap sheet when it comes to female characters and it still feels a little early to start talking feminist criticisms with the show - I mean, we’re only in season 2, have the tropes really solidified themselves yet to draw any conclusions? -  but it’s something I want to track moving forward, so here we go. 

See on the second to last disc, there’s a quartet of episodes (episodes 16 - 19) that really checks off the bingo card of  Female Characters. You have your Damsels (Molly, “Roadkill”, Madison, “Heart), your Sluts (Tara Benchley, “Hollywood Babylon”) your Bitches (Nurse Dolores Glockner, “Folsom Prison Blues”), your free square for Bangs Dean (Tara again) and also your wild card for Bangs Sam (Madison). 

A few weeks ago, I talked about the women in these episodes and if I didn’t mention it then, I’ll say it now -  I really liked these characters. They felt well rounded, respected, their wardrobe wasn’t too 2000’s CW. Plus, they covered a whole spectrum of different women, they didn’t all fill the same rote character that you would expect from a show like Supernatural.  

But a long running TV Series is all about patterns and templates. SPN definitely has several and watching this disc felt like the beginnings of their patterns for women. Now, none of these ladies were intended to come back after their respective episodes. They are not set up to be recurring characters. And in a show where someone is murdered pretty much EVERY episode, it stands to reason that some of those definitely-murdered people will be women about 50% of the time. And according to this livejournal that I dug up from the depths of the internet, that’s roughly the numbers on death/dead count on seasons 1 - 5.

But of the two female deaths that we do get in this quartet, I’ll even argue that these were good deaths - they were philosophically important to the story that the show is telling at this point in the series. Both Molly and Madison are technically Monsters, both need to be stopped from hurting others, both make the decision to leg go and move on to the Great Beyond. They’re setting up for the ultimate emotional showdown at the end of this season. And they don’t feel cheap when I watch it that way. Their deaths don’t feel like fridging the way that Jessica or Mary’s deaths felt like fridging. 

Watching these characters, I started to get a little defensive - SPN, or at the very least, season 2’s writing team, do know how to write decent female characters. They’re not tropey, unless you count “Smol with a Hint of Slutty” as a trope. And that could be said about a lot of the female characters this season. Jo might need some fleshing out, but seeing as how she’s supposed to be green, that works for me. She’s just starting this journey, she’s not quite developed into who she’s supposed to be yet. Ellen is a great female character, and more importantly, a female character that doesn’t want to sleep with either of the Winchesters. Ava was fun and bubbly and excited to be here; Detective Linda Blair was a little bit of a badass; even Angela Mason- well, maybe not Angela Mason. She died because of texting and driving, which is rough. My point is, there’s actually a lot of very interesting and different and decently rounded female characters in this season. 

What was it that made these characters work for me? What was the secret to them feeling well-rounded and real when I know that the show has a poor track record with female characters? I was seriously racking my brain trying to figure it out and honestly the answer was so stupid, I’m like, maybe the dumbest girl in school.

Cuz see, I was looking back at Jo’s introduction and the backlash from fans, so I thought that maybe the un-tropeyness of these women was a reaction to that. As in, the writing team knew they had to try harder to get the (primarily) female fans not to riot at characters who felt too manufactured. But then I looked up the writers on these specific episodes and all these stand out lady characters were written by female writers - Ava was introduced in “Hunted” by Raelle Tucker; Detective Linda Blair was in “The Unusual Suspects” by Cathryn Humphris; “Heart” was from Sera Gamble; “Roadkill” was Raelle Tucker again. You know who fans didn’t like? Jo. You know who wrote the first Jo episode? And the second? A dude - John Shiban and Matt Witten respectively. You know who wrote the episode “Born Under A Bad Sign”, where 19yo Me got on board with Jo back in 2009? A lady - it was Cathryn Humphris again. Now, I’ve said that I like Jo a lot in the Year of Our Troubles, 2020, and I will fight you if you try to tell me there is anything wrong with Jo, but I very much wonder what would have happened if they’d let Gamble or Tucker or Humphris introduce that character. I VERY MUCH WONDER. 

Because SPN can’t seem to make a good woman stick around on this show. They give up on Jo. They give up on Ellen. They give up on Bella next season. And I know there are female characters that arrive in later seasons, but from what I’ve heard about them, the news isn’t great there either.

But Bobby becomes a series regular. Cas becomes a series regular. Crowley becomes a series regular for a time. I’m not mad about these characters that do become series regulars, but it does make you wonder why the female characters - especially the ones who were initially written to be recurring characters - don’t recur. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t like Jo at first, and I hated Bella. Jo grew on me through the season and obviously this watch, I like her character a lot, so we’ll see what happens with Bella next season. Also, cuz now I’m in my 30’s and I do my best to avoid girl-on-girl-crime. 

I’d like to say that a show being produced today that skews this male heavy (and male gaze-y) wouldn’t work today, but we all know that it probably could. Things are looking better, and representation of women in film and television, both on-screen AND off, is becoming more balanced, so we’re moving in the right direction. What I think wouldn’t work today is the introduction of female characters as just love interests or just eye candy which is a lot of what SPN does - and probably why a lot of them didn’t work for the long haul. I think that a benefit to the shorter, more streamlined seasons from streaming services is that the addition of any characters, but specifically female characters, have to be more thought out and established, they can’t just be thrown in to see what audiences will respond to. They become more of an integral part of the storytelling, not just a side plot to help bulk out an episode. I think that’s why both Madison and Molly especially work - because they’re there to help tell the story, not just get an emotional rise out of our leads. Of course, Madison sleeps with Sam, so there’s still some of that kind of manipulation going on, but at least it has more weight to it. 

TL;DR

If you want to write a fully fleshed out, solid female character, maybe at least consult a woman on your script? But that’s just one (wo)man’s opinion. 

[exalok]

whaddup my dudes!!!

i am tired and wired and this means brain no writey but brain VERY focused on absolutely all the fic i have going on at once that aren’t prompts (prompts will be incoming, no worries dissociation anon)

and THAT means y’all get to hear about my many. many. MANY projects, or at least the ones that make my heart go pitter patter when i think of them

a few examples: demon!corvo and priest!daud with extra worldbuilding ; the naptime cuddles AU ; corvo doesn’t come to dunwall so jess and daud end up arranged-married for profit (more info..... under the readmore..... i’m gonna get rambly)

also feel free to ask questions, i love questions and they get me thinking even more in depth about the world and specific instances of characters and that is the entire POINT

LIKE OKAY SO MY BRAIN PRETTY MUCH CONTINUOUSLY THROWS IDEAS AT THE WALL AND ABOUT 95% OF THEM STICK BECAUSE I’M A HOARDING RAT BASTARD i love my ideas they are my precioussss

i might have about. 25 fic more or less active at the moment? which sounds like a reasonable number but those are the ones i have an actual plot for as well as the will to get them out into the world

let’s put aside the ones i have actually posted on tumblr or ao3 (teen!daud, domestic zombie apocalypse, bondageverse, knife!corvo) in favor of those you have either no or little idea exist. begin:

I MEAN OBVIOUSLY I MADE FANFIC OF MY OWN FANFIC or as i call it parallel/companion fic, because at some point in the past a prompter inspired me and i was deep in the prince!daud fic at the time and i thought what if high chaos. what if void monster corvo? what if horrifying yet human creature of the depths!!! what if EVERYTHING was TERRIBLE and daud killed corvo as a last ditch and vain attempt to get his people out of burrows’ clutches, and it all went to shit from there??? also they’re bound by marriage contract and the vagaries of magical intention and daud becomes corvo’s life battery, in essence, which you can imagine leads to a very unhealthy relationship i think it’s not spoilering much to tell you it does NOT end well, and i’ll be writing it as a sort of foil to low chaos prince!daud

i have quite a few high chaos fics actually. high chaos is depressing to play but the story outcomes are DELICIOUS and the degrading world and character motivations are a lot of fun to play around in

weirdly enough another one of these high chaos fics is the naptime cuddles AU!!! i won’t lie it’s the one i am currently on and i want to talk about it to everyone so bad constantly. in short, corvo doesn’t kill daud and the whalers because he’s trying to get out and currently too fucked up to fight, and when he doesn’t manage to save emily despite his best efforts he comes back to daud for some kind of symbolic execution. meanwhile thomas convinced daud to take a goddamn nap with him there because daud, despite his paranoia, does sleep better with people around, and this is entirely an excuse for semi-platonic daudthomascorvo cuddles in bed followed by whaler puppypiles when the gang catches on that this is a thing they can do now I LOVE PUPPYPILE WHALERS I LOVE NAPS I LOVE REDEMPTION THROUGH THE POWER OF RESTORATIVE SLEEP please i’m so tired and i can’t actually fall asleep next to people let me live my dream vicariously additionally: this will be my contribution to the absolutely wonderful whaler vineyard of old fanon

there is also what i feel should be a classic and ISN’T though a couple of fics were written around the concept and one in particular is /chef kiss, and the concept is: high chaos corvo meets low chaos corvo!!!!! i made it a threesome with daud because no one can stop me and i fucking LOVE the idea of daud ending up capable of telling them apart through tiny details even when high chaos corvo, bastard that he is, tries to impersonate low chaos corvo, who is a bastard in much more subtle ways and would probably be better at impersonating hc!c than the other way around but finds it distasteful; also i added intense body horror because that’s how i roll and there are eventual magical CONSEQUENCES to hc!c being in the low chaos world and regularly in contact with what is essentially his narrative double when he doesn’t belong there, probably ends in a tragically bittersweet way, i’m not completely clear on it yet though i do have ideas

and oh man......... the time travel corvo fic.... the one where high chaos corvo ends up in his own seven-year-old body........... fuck i hashed out so much of the general worldbuilding for that one and ended up going way too far and imagining a sequel like i always do where corvo learns how to walk universes and gathers people he cares about from places where he can actually save them from their eventual tragic futures and the dissolution of their timelines once the outsider is ousted from the void and a new void avatar is made and SHENANIGANS YO!!! SHENANIGANS AND CAMPING!!!! SELF-CROSSOVERS!!!!!!! I COULD HAVE HIM MEET HIMSELF IF HE HADN’T TRAVELED BACK I’M CRYING I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS

the one where corvo is a fae child is probably a lil bit high chaos though it isn’t determined yet, and he has all of these instincts with regards to possessing and exchange and deals, and assumptions as to how other people must work approximately the same, and he is so wrong. then there’s the really creepy bad touch possible sequel that i won’t get into unless someone specifically asks because it’s a lil bit much really

oh MAN oh SHIT speaking of bad touch there’s another dead dove do not eat one where i grabbed an entire handful of granny rags’ apparent fucking around with magical arrays and rune creation and general spellery and threw it at corvo post-interregnum and he sees “ghosts” and doesn’t understand what the FUCK is going on and things go really badly for him, and one ghost, soon the only ghost, is daud, and corvo doesn’t know if he’s real, if he’s seeing things, if he’s NOT seeing things but daud is some kind of void demon, if he is and also having psychotic breaks he doesn’t remember because he ends up with some hellish bruises, but the real daud is actually still out there just hiding out and corvo will eventually meet up with him and real daud will meet fake daud and even more shit will happen

god, the demon!corvo AU gets pretty fucked up as well if i remember right; corvo is both some dude with a wife and kid and the demon that inhabits him, jess is his wife and the demon that inhabits her (to be clear, separate characters but both based on either jess or corvo oh my GOD what if i switched the demons that would be amazing but no, calm down, maybe for a short what-if scenario that will inevitably turn into its own thing), daud is the overseer with the really good exorcism record trying to get the demons to fuck off except he thinks there’s only one of them and the other takes him by surprise; cue daud being hunted by that demon, furious that daud shattered his favorite pupil, and some revelations about what exactly lives inside the abbey and also under it

on a somewhat lighter note, the one where corvo never comes to dunwall (i think his mom gets sick and he doesn’t win the blade verbena at sixteen?) is also where jess keeps losing her royal protectors to assassination attempts because the first one was decent and died protecting her and the second one was decent and had an accident and people start believing there’s a curse on the position or a curse on her, and she’s like okay so how do i make sure i don’t die now that no one is willing to become my protector since it’s pretty much a death sentence, and she arranges a meeting with the best assassin in the city and suggests an alliance -- protection and some commission overview, all secret, versus funding and housing -- in the form of a marriage and daud ends up agreeing; then later duke abele visits and corvo is among his personal guard and he gets to meet the empress, and the assassin, and there are ot3 shenanigans

oh my GOD also the kids in karnaca AU. obviously. fuck you may have seen the (dis)armingly charmed notefic but this would be them meeting as actual kids, in karnaca, just tiny babies, daud recently kidnapped and corvo doing his best to make this cool older kid into his friend and also maybe hiding him from the people who want to train him to do Illegal Things, and there are dumb childish arguments and daud goes on the run to avoid capture and there is an exchange of letters that at one point stops and corvo is Devastated and there is a REUNION and they are ADORABLE but also INCREDIBLY STUPID, AS IS RIGHT AND CORRECT, and i don’t know what happens later but it gives me warm fuzzies okay

then i have a NUMBER of oneshots that are more or less plotted out, like the one where jess has a kind of groundhog day because Heart reasons but over months and starts out not quite remembering what happened in past attempts and OF COURSE it ends with royal ot3; and there’s the one where Daud becomes the Outsider and is very temporally confused and OF COURSE it ends with corvodaud who do you take me for (including Very Perplexing arguments where daud doesn’t know at what point in this relationship’s development he is and corvo is angry or very patient depending on where he accidentally time travels to, and i make some assumptions about the non-linearity of the void avatar’s existence); and there’s the one where corvo catches the plague and gets through kingsparrow to get emily out then to people he trusts, ie the curnows and sam beechworth, then crawls away to die, but daud finds him and sighs and rolls up his sleeves and sends whalers to the Tower and emily thinks the Tower is haunted then, when it becomes very clear the Tower is not, demands one of these assassins teach her how to stab a bitch; AND THERE’S THE ONE WHERE CORVO AND JESS ARE GHOSTS AND DAUD IS A REAL ESTATE AGENT AND THE WHALERS ARE THE KIDS HE TRIED TO HELP OUT AS A SOCIAL WORKER and yes it’s ot3 and yes he buys the ghost house and ends up being filmed by the whalers to do cooking videos and fancy knife tricks and asmr because his voice is insanely soothing when he’s not being ornery; oh fuck and there’s the one where i wrote an unrequited corvodaud prompt and my brain grabbed it, smelled it, and decided that corvo very reluctantly falling for daud was necessary to the health of my feelings, and there is at least one (1) sleeping beauty coma while corvo yells at the outsider about the Heart; also there’s the one where in D2 billie was evasive about the old guy living with her on her boat and em finds daud rather than sokolov in jindosh’s basement and they have long, emotional discussions; and for the character building hell of it one that would span the outsider’s beginnings and growth and how the void tries to welcome him in

okay........................ i think i’m done rambling now

i love fanfic y’all

[jvb-talks-anime]

My thoughts on Tower of God season 1 anime.

Obviously spoilers for the first anime season! If you haven't seen the anime or read the webtoon, then proceed at your own risk, okay? Okay. This is not a complete review, just my thoughts on it.

Right. I can't remember when I first heard about the webtoon. Years ago at this point. I tried reading it a few times, but it never really grabbed my interest, not sure why. But, when it was announced that it would be getting an anime, I decided to check out the first episode at least to see if it would better grab me as an anime. Because i'm writing this, you can probably guess that it did.

Like i said, this isn't a complete review, so i won't be going over every episode in detail or anything like that. I may end up jumping up and down the episodes when talking about certain things like characters and their arcs.

So, what did i think and why should you care? If you want an answer to the first question, read on. As for the second, there is honestly no reason that you SHOULD care. You're free to not care, in which case you can probably just stop reading this. I'm just wanting to put my thoughts to writing and to share them with others.

On the subject of names, i will be using the anime-spelling since i haven't yet actually read the webtoon. So i will be referring to the MC as Bam and not Baam, since that's the spelling i'm used to... Not sure if there are other spelling differences.

So, let's start with the obvious. Bam. At first i didn't much care about his obsession with Rachel, and even at the end of the season i didn't really care about it, i was more interested in the journey than it the motivation of boy making it. But, it was his reason for climbing and i thought it was unlikely to change anytime soon. I am surprised that it did change, but after getting pushed seemingly to his death, i would have been more surprised if he hadn't changed...

And yes, i am being a bit vague just to give time for those who might still be unspoiled to get out. Last warning. I will engage in proper heavy spoilering from now on out.

IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, STOP READING! NOW!

So, it turns out that Rachel is a selfish bitch. I suppose that much should've been obvious from the moment she abandoned Bam to climb the tower on her own. But selfish enough to try and push Bam to his death, that was quite the surprise honestly. When i saw the end of Ep12, i was shocked and excaliming to myself "What!? What the? Why?" and so on. And Ep13 gave clarity to that. Rachel is a selfish bitch who is willing to, if not straight up kill with her own hands, at least shove Bam to his death. I think i would have respected her more if she had tried to kill him directly... On the bright side, it seems that Khun suspects something already, since he said that if Rachel was truly sorry about Bam, she wouldn't be there. And i have to say that Khun is pretty much my favorite character in the first season at least.

I like the chessmaster archetype. Lelouch, Light, Aizen, basically if they're a character smart enough to at least predict other peoples actions, let alone manipulate them into doing what they want i tend to like them. At least, if it's well written and not just an asspull like some of the things Aizen did... But i digress, back to ToG.

At first i didn't like Khun or Rak for that matter, but they grew on me. Khun because he shifted from coldly calculating to actually caring about Bam and maybe even Rak and the others.

Rak on the otherhand seemed to be a loud and stupid blood knight, someone who only wants to fight. But overtime he too became a friend to Bam and Khun. Possibly the others. And he isn't a stupid blood knight, he's just reckless and hella powerful. Sure he wants to fight etc. but he doesn't rush in with no plan. He reminds of me Kenpachi from Bleach in that sense. At first both seemed like dumb brutes, but they do have hidden strategical depths once you get to see more of them.

Let's move on to the two princesses of the group, Anak and Androssi. At first i didn't quite like either of them, Anak for having a short temper and being unhelpful towards her team during the crown exam and Androssi for seeming a little unhinged. Their development also seems a little fast, at least when it comes to actually befriending each other since at first they seemed to hate each other with a passion. But, after the fight they had on the pillar arena thing, they seemed to be on the way to becoming friends. I don't know if this was better paced in the 'toon since, again, i have not read beyond like the first five chapters, if that.

As for the rest of the characters, they have developed rather little or at least had little screen time to show their development. Even Hoh losing his marbles is a bit sudden, even if he had been shown to be suspicious of Bam and his abilities. But him trying to kill Rachel to get rid of Bam came a little out of the bushes IMO.

At first i didn't like Shibisu since he was acting so cowardly yet boasting, like a worse version of Usopp. But once he got some balls and started to be more proactive he became more likeable.

Hatz started aloof and mostly stayed that way, though he did get a little better towards the end.

The last two characters that i can actually say anything about is Paracool, and he was just annoying and so was his friend Machi or however it was spelt... They were just annoying, but i feel like they were intentionally so.

The animation quality was pretty okay. Nothing too special, but it wasn't bad or anything either. I can't remember any big sakuga moments, but i didn't feel like it was missing anything either. It didn't feel like it needed those big flashy moments IMO. Then again there weren't that many big, epic fights to give big sakuga moments to.

Overall, i liked it decently enough. Not my absolute favorite, but i've seen worse. I may end up checking out the webtoon again. If i have to give the series a score, i'd say 6.5 or 7 out of 10. And i am not using an absolute scale of 10/10 being the best ever, but rather a subjective-to-the-series with 10/10 being the best that series could've been, nothing could've been improved and 0/10 being the absolute worst it somehow could be.

I'm waiting for season two with much intrigue now that Bam is not mooning after Rachel so much and is wanting to find out the truth about what drove her to betray him.

Also, i want to see Khun put his hair up more, he was pretty cute looking with his hair up.

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[atiny-piratequeen]

Thank you for tagging me @cosmicmingi ! I'll tag @san--shine, @wonderlandsobsession and @fantastic-bby and whoever of my writing followers/mutuals wants to fill this out 👀👀 tag me if you do!

1)Okay so Against The Tide was such a hassle for me because I couldn't settle on one name and I resulted in a twt poll and asking my server of kpop friends for their opinions. Alternative titles were Quantum Immortality (from a theory and a Crywolf song), Through the Sea of Time (a pokemon mystery dungeon song, one of my faves), and Through the Eighth Sea (suggested to me by Alma. Bc the "Eighth Sea" is the sea of time. Get it? 8 ateez members, 1 sea to represent them all? Yeaaaaa-)

2) Okay so its so funny because it came before Wonderland even came out, but All Eyes On Me came as soon as I thought of the concept of an ot8 fic centered around Yeosang bc of him being shy and such. That's why there's a lot of cameras and depictions of Yeosang being especially excited at being watched, so I felt it fit perfectly 

3) so I made that AtT playlist (didn't realize the mofo was 6 hours long, jfc that might be why nobody's commented on the songs yet), and I'll just say I listen to a lot of Babymetal and Crywolf when I write. Not just AtT, but in general. Babymetal obviously for the "fie's on her anime fight scene bullshit" and Crywolf for my emotionally challenging (aka fucking HEARTBREAKING) scenes or scenes in general that have a more muted, down to earth feel to them.

4) As far as Ateez goes, I always have an abundance of fun writing Seonghwa and Yunho, tbh. Night Shift has me spoiled and now I'm in love with writing Seonghwa as a sarcastic, slightly passive aggressive being who's honestly just a big softie for those he loves and Yunho...Yunho has a heart of gold and I adore him uwu

5) Jongho is probably the hardest to write for me because I don't want to typecast him as this nonchalant, emotionless smartass, yknow? I wanna give him depth other than "big strong maknae boi" but I feel I might have to do a bit better to write him truer to his actual personality 

6) In All Eyes On Me, San and Yeosang's little cat and mouse game wasn't supposed to take over but I-and a lot of other people-enjoyed the dynamic of Yeosang building his confidence, all while San was getting exceedingly more hungry/sneaky. So definitely San so far.

Though Yunho is creeping up in AtT and yall will see more of that in the near future 👀

7) Reoccurring themes...at risk of sounding like a nut, the stories I put the most time and love into are ones like Against the Tide or for those who have read some of my BTS works, Still Standing. Fics that have intricate stories and characters feel real emotional, mental, and physical trials, but eventually they overcome. I do write these with supernatural, fantasy, and/or sci-fi twists bc i love those genres so much, but I just enjoy writing fics that make me and my readers go through the emotional motions.

8) I've honestly stayed away from hybrid fics for so long bc of how a lot of them sre linked to ABO fics that are written in very...high key problematic and exploitative manners, but thanks to Skunk San, I'm definitely gonna get back into writing hybrid fics. Or at least a oneshot. Idk man I'm giving him a tail. Bitches love tails. It's me, I'm bitches. 

9) I want to get better at making people laugh with scenes without making it seem forced. I've gotten lucky enough to have some people tell me they've laughed from my works and some scenes, so I'm hoping to throw some more giggles in for everyone without forcing it and ruining a scene. Plus we need something to counter all this damn angst.

10) Imagery. Again, back on my anime bullshit, but I've had a lot of people, both close friends and readers, tell me through the years that they can visibly see some of the scenes so visually. From the fighting, to the love making, a lot of people have complimented me on my visuals and descriptive imagery so I'm kinda confident in it c:

11) I know its early, but I'd love to see Against the Tide illustrated. My dream has always been to have something I've written, whether a scene or just my characters, drawn out. Its a little easier since the boys (almost) all have their halloween stages for their demon forms and such. I wish I were a better artist tbh. I'd love to draw some scenes from future chapters I have in my head.

12) I'm gonna pull from my BTS side for this and say Still Standing. Its already based off of a show (sense8) and it would be so neat to see sense8 but with a superpower twist to it~

13) I'd probably cameo in any given fic as that one person in the bg that disses some antagonist to the main charas in passing just bc they're assholes and they aint shit.

14) Hmm...i had an old wrestling fic eons ago that was a hybrid fic. I'd love to revamp it and clean up the wild storyline and make it a kpop fic tbh. It had potential and it incorporated a lot of mythology and I used it as a way to show people about some mythos they may not have been familiar with but I got too ambitious and it went all over the place. I'd like to make it over now that I'm more focused and mature in following my plot.

15) I honestly don't have one off the top :o I never thought about remixing someone else's fic or anything like that.

16) I don't often write about things I'm not comfortable writing with, but I'll probably say my casually unnamed wrestling fic comes close since I was in a very bad headspace at the time and poured a lot of my trauma into the story. It's… graphic. And I probably won't feel comfortable writing that type of content so vividly anymore. So hooray growth? 

17) I've never written an incubus fic to to completion, but @fantastic-bby makes me wanna try 👀

18) Honestly I adore the concept of sensates so much (from the show Sense8, and my BTS fic, Still Standing) and I'd love to revisit it but I'm not quite sure how to do it without making it too similar 😔

19) Both of them are BTS fics, but I've reread @haylokitteh We Need You and @readbeneaththelines Professor's Pet 🥵🥵

20) Hm..that's a hard one because I like to branch out to a lot of genres so it depends on what I'm trying to describe. But since I have to choose, I'll say Against the Tide, since I'm pouring a lot of love and care into this and I intend on showing you all full spectrum of what I can do with it.

[nat-20s]

Top 5 Breakdowns over David Tennant- any fandom/show/ play you've seen? I really liked the dw one you did, just hoping you could expand over/ include other things he's been in.

Oh anon you are QUITE the enabler thank you.

So this is like half actual breakdown list and half just like David Tennant recommendations in general because I love that funky little scot.

+1. This isn’t going on the official list because I already did the previous list you mentioned (i’m glad you liked it, btw!!!) but yeah. Doctor Who. He plays the doctor in a very fuckin uhh mercutial way (he plays a lot of characters that way and I am 100% enamored by it every fuckin time he just does it SO WELL AUGH) and like highs were so high and the lows were so low and he was so FURIOUS AND CRUEL but also so GENTLE AND KIND and like oof!! The multifacetedness bitch!!!! That’s what it’s all about babey!!!

5. Good omens. I mean, duh. There was no fucking way I was gonna survive good omens. Like, honestly, even without miss tennant I wouldn’t have survived it because HA HA HA HA H O L Y SHIT MY FAVORITE BOOK FOR THE LAST DECADE WAS GETTING AN ACTUAL SCREEN ADAPTATION I GENUINELY DID NOT THINK WE WOULD EVER BE HERE THIS SHIT IS LIT. but then but THEN it was like. The way that he portrayed crowley definitely fit into a particular niche that david tennant KILLS. Like god okay I could spend an whole fucking essay on this point so I’m gonna distill this down to just. THE moment that I was like “okay okay okay okay fuck I’m GOING THROUGH IT” was when his voice cracks as he tells aziraphale that he lost his best friend because like in context OOF and out of context I have been Pavlovian trained for the past decade to Utterly Lose My Shit when David Tennant is like this close to crying and he expresses that with his whole body THE ASSHOLE! LET ME REST. I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS MISTER!!

4. The Escape Artist. Lesser known (I think?), but a VERY GOOD miniseries! The tone is much darker, and he’s a much more serious character. Similar vibes, role wise, to broadchurch. I’m not sure how much rewatch value it has but watching it for the first time had me like MISSION STATUS: SICK!!!! It’s like a cat and mouse mystery and like. I’m not gonna go to in depth into the story because I think it’s more enjoyable to go into it not knowing much and too me it was one of those things that took like 3 hours to watch all of and a full week or two to like. Process. Also I’m not usually one for drama and I was ABOUT it so I would recommend!!!

3. JESSICA JONES (season 1). Holy FUCK dude. Definitely his darkest and most evil role, and the subject matter is VERY heavy and I definitely would NOT recommend it for everyone because it could be, how you say, triggering as fuck or even just because it is incredibly dark and that might not be your thing. Funnily enough, it’s DEFINITELY not my thing, personally, I tend to avoid narratives about sexual assault because so many of them are, uh, ya know, bad, but Jessica Jones season 1 really is done FANTASTICALLY! The David Tennant breakdown was just a level of cognitive dissonance because I had never seen him play like a VILLAIN villain. I mean, yeah, he was Barty Crouch Jr., but that was for like 30 seconds and while the dude was creepy there was a layer of campy over the topness that is present in most fun fantasy franchises. I remember when he was cast as the purple man me and my parents were like. Yeah he’ll obviously crush the role because he’s talented but in the back of our minds we’ll probably still be thinking of like the doctor and I wonder if we can fully accept him playing the role. Yeah there was fucking NONE OF THAT. When he played Purple Man I never ONCE thought of his other roles and I didn’t even, like, think of David Tennant, ya know. I was just like oh shit this man is evil and terrifying and I want him dead! Please die!!! And yes, I know that that’s how acting works or whatever but also ACTING ya know!!! Of any of the roles on this list this one definitely made me be the most like SHE HAS THE RANGE because I really think it highlights how INCREDIBLY GOOD at his job he is!!! I have not ever rewatched Jessica Jones season 1 though because while it is honestly like a triumph of television it is also A Lot to deal with and I am very rarely in the kind of mindset where I’m able to watch it. But yeah. David Tennant knows what the fuck he’s doing and it is very good.

2. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING BABEY. Literally I knew nothing about the play or why I should care but the promo material was like. Catherine Tate and David Tennant are costars again and I was like OKAY SIGN ME THE FUCK UP HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH. For real I think on screen chemistry Catherine Tate and David Tennant are one of if not just straight up my favorite duo of all time. They are just so DELIGHTFUL and ENCHANTING and BEWITCHING and basically I want them to costar in everything ever. @azirafeathers was like “sherlock holmes adaptation where she’s sherlock and he’s watson” and I haven’t stopped thinking about that since!!! I would give my left thumb or at least like a solid $60 to see that. Like PLEASE it would be PERFECT. I LOVE THEM. And god this production of much ado is definitely like. “Here’s Benedick and Beatrice. They’re two chaotic dumbass bisexuals that are like fives on the kinsey scale and they fall in love much to their surprise” and it’s TERRIFIC. That’s exactly what I like to see. Like it’s set in the 80s and the set design? The visual gags? The costumes? The soundtrack? THE PHYSICAL COMEDY? It all SLAPS. David Tennant really balances “fun and funky slut” and “utterly PINING idiot” so fucking well. I have said it before and I will say it again David Tennant peaks when Catherine Tate is being mean to him. Also really iconic to give him the role that is like the only man in the play that is (after a bit) CHUGGING his respect women juice. I mean LOOK at this utter buffoon.

I’m in love. This play made me a proud morosexual. Plus it’s all FREE ON YOUTUBE THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE THREE HOURS AND WANT TO HAVE A GOOD FUCKIN TIME GO WATCH MUCH ADO!!

1. H A M L E T. So imagine that you’re 14 and it’s 3 am and you’re casually watching David Tennant’s hamlet on youtube or at least the parts they put up and you’re painting stars on your ceiling with glow in the dark paint and it makes you realize that you have an excess of black bile and a melancholic temperment and you’ll understand why, while this might not be my all time favorite david tennant role (though it definitely is high up on the list) , this is absolutely my number one David Tennant Related Breakdown. Hoo boy. This probably doesn’t come as a shock to literally anybody that knows me irl bc I Will Not shut up about Hamlet and it is this productions fault. Different people will respond differently too it, and I’m definitely 1000% biased because a: I love him and b: it was the first production I ever watched and it’s what got me On My Bullshit, but this production honestly makes me like. Get Hamlet. Or not get hamlet, personally, as a character, we’re never meant to fully understand him honestly, but it made me understand the ALLURE of the play. I watched it and I was like oh. Yeah. Okay. I can see why people have been obsessed with this for 400 years. I know why it’s considered one of the greatest roles and one of the greatest plays of all time. And I went absolutely feral for it. It solidified Horatio permanently as one of my all time favorite characters in anything ever. David Tennant has this tendency to put manic and desperate energy into the characters that he plays, and that of course works extremely well for hamlet. Plus, like, he plays characters that are drowning, that need the assistance and kindness of love to try and float, and even with that might not be able to keep their heads above water, and the characters that are opposite him are basically always wonderful. Because I am deeply deeply predictable, the core dynamic of Hamlet and Horatio’s relationship is probably like THE most appealing and interesting and important aspect of the play to me, and Peter de Jersey (who is absolutely INCREDIBLE in this production) and David Tennant pull it of breathtakingly beautifully. Every time I watch this I have to lie down for a while. Every time I THINK about this I have to lie down for awhile. So, yeah, number one David Tennant based breakdown is over his hamlet.

Honorable mentions

this gifset-I have not seen what this is actually from but it made me have a conniption. I’m in love with her. She’s my idealized self. I don’t know what to do with myself. I spent 5 hours looking at this now. What the fuck. 

The Decoy Bride- I didn’t have a breakdown over it BUT it is a recommendation. Very silly rom com, very much a comfort movie like music and lyrics or singing in the rain for me. Great for sleep overs or rainy sunday afternoons. 

Richard II- I haven’t seen it but based on one (1) clip and some stills I would be lost in the sauce for a week after a viewing. 

Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger- watch nativity 2 danger in the manger. 

Fright Night- jesus fucking CHRIST mister tennant went full slut

Casanova- Mister Tennant Goes Full Slut part 2- has blue colored contacts and it’s weird

[bluh-bluh-liveblogging]

Elite - First Episode!

So! Thoughts about the first episode of Elite that I just watched! I kind of… did not expect to enjoy this as much as I just did? The actors are great, I love picking up a bit of Spanish on the side (not a language I speak… like… at all xD) AND the filming is awesome!

Gorgeous imagery aside – and there sure is a lot of it – I also loved the way the narrative was structured around the murder that is about to have happened. This is an impression absolutely unique to the first episode of this series because this is where we see the story begin and end before the unravelling of story threads from the middle to the eventual conclusion takes place.

This episode was meant to suck you in and get you interested and HOO BOY HOWDY it accomplished its purpose! (For me, at least.)

Regarding the murder mystery, I really liked how the various forward-flashbacks were tied in with the overall story to manipulate the viewer‘s interpretation of singular scenes (adding emphasis on likely future developments like the enmity between Nadia and Lu comes to mind) and it did not feel overdone at all!

Regarding spoilers, mind, I‘m still at the first episode and everything here is pure speculation. Mostly. I should maybe tag spoilers for the victim reveal?

Because, let‘s face it. It was obvious who would die in the end the very second this character made an appearance. At least to me.

Now, because this is what I invariably focus on, no matter what media I consume, let‘s give the various characters in the show a not-really-in-depth-because-i-am-just-talking-into-the-void-and-not-submitting-a-report review!

First of all, Samu. He is the obvious main character, sweet, cautious and just interesting enough to distract from his nice-boy image that… burdens him tragically? His decision to completely opt out of demonstrating his abilities in English during class is interesting and… so far, the only interesting thing he has ever done, except for a few nice, witty one-liners. Don‘t get me wrong, I actually like characters that are capable of… not starting drama every few seconds and the fact that he‘s seemed to be the sole supporter of his family makes him likeable? But I just know that he‘s going to have SOME bullshit going on and make decisions that will downgrade my tentatively positive opinion of him severely. I KNOW IT. Also, I… really don‘t like Marina for some reason?

Marina, then! She also follows the stereotype of the main characters love interest – the Girl That Is Not Like The Others. Which is not necessarily a bad thing! I just dislike characters that, in turn, are more attracted by the attractiveness of rebellion than the actual people who represent it for them.

(But I really liked her chemistry with Mano (?) in the two seconds they interacted.) (But that is the problem! UGH, love triangles…) I really liked that she‘s HIV-positive though! I loved how that was represented! That was apparently the big drama with the previous scholarship student though? I also like how she doesn‘t give a damn. But all in all, hm. Meh. Not my type.

Mano (?) - Samu‘s older brother who just got out of prison! And we still don‘t know exactly how! He‘s demonstrated so far: an astounding inability to sympathize with all and any struggles his younger brother has faced AND come on. That was one obviously placed camera AND YOU DIDN‘T EVEN HAVE THE GOOD SENSE TO COVER EITHER OF YOUR FACES COME TF ON WOULD IT HAVE BEEN SO HARD??? Also, flirting with the girl his lil bro is obviously dancing around already and hogging her instead of calling Samu? Seriously? That‘s just an asshole thing to do, no matter how much better you two seemed to get along, dammit!

Anyway. Then there‘s Guzman. I don‘t like him (yet). He‘s protective of his younger sister which, nice, would he not also completely ignore her wishes at the same time. His relationship with Lu seems built on the desire of the two powerhouses of the school to present a united front and also have some sex in bathrooms, but… are they actually happy together? Wait, wait. Are they even together openly? Nooooo, wait it was such a big thing that they were seen having sex! Hm. In that case, I don‘t get the nonchalance with which Lu suggests her boyfriend seduce another girl just to blackmail her. Are you that sure of his loyalty? Probably! Is that a really awful and manipulative thing to not only force a stranger but also your own boyfriend into? Yes!

But. I also know his type. He‘s the asshole with hidden depths that appear in fleeting glances only at first and then, when gradually revealed, make him your favourite character. I know that at one point I will be supposed to love him and I, a weak victim of viewer manipulation, probably will. I know how that one goes. (I still love Bellamy from The 100 with all my heart and I have suffered for it. Also only watched to the third season!)

Aside from the fact that she is gorgeous and the archetypical bitch, except also super smart, I can‘t say too much about Lu yet. Except that I ship her with Nadia, not that THAT is ever going to happen, I guess. Idk I kind of like her. In her capacity of being a huge asshole, that is.

Nadia! HOLY SHIT I LOVE HER!!! SHE IS THE BEST! And holy shit, the hijab thing was a biiig gun to pull out in the first episode, but when else, also, good demonstration of institutionalized prejudice and discrimination! (I was so mad, good job! Well, fucking awful that this is a thing that needs to be represented, but good job! And her statement about them restricting her based on their own dumb opinions and NOTHING else and how this is her belief and nobody is forcing her to wear it? YES YES YES GOOD GIRL! Screenshots from that scene were what convinced me to give this series a shot and holy shit, it was delivered so well!) I can‘t even say anything meaningful here, I just??? love her??? She is sassy and smart and NOT interested in the drama (which will change VERY soon and hoo boy is she going to seduce the SHIT out of Guzman while also falling in love, but I don‘t even mind. That much.)

Then there‘s Christian. I… really don‘t care for the second-hand embarrassment he keeps subjecting me to? And his attitude towards drugs and alcohol? And… uh… almost everything else? BUT! He handles all of the abuse directed at him with the same charm and grace that at first seems absolutely moronic but is soon (him walking through the school naked) revealed as an iron-hard sunny attitude? And I respect that. A lot. I will probably come to respect this dude even more as the story evolves, but I still don‘t like his character-archetype. But that‘s fine!

Also, Carla and this dude! Waaaaait did she only hook up with Christian because her boyfriend who‘s name I forgot was into it? She did not seem all that comfortable afterwards, which hints at QUITE the different power dynamic in that couple than is expected of them! I am very curious!

And! Ander! OMG he is SUCH a sweetheart! Sorry, I still think that getting high and making a dating app profile is dumb, but HE IS GAY and hooking up with Omar and he! Is the cutest! And only deserves good things! Please let him be happy!

Omar, for that matter… hm. He looks very tired. Also, why is he selling drugs? He‘s… Nadia‘s brother? I‘d like to see more of their sibling relationship tbh but… hm. Don‘t know what to think about him yet, but the drug thing kind of is a turn-off for me? I really hope to get to know more about him though, especially if he IS going to have a thing with Ander!

And I have many more thoughts about this and I really look forward to watching the second episode at some point in my life (which… uh… might happen sooner or later, but since my method of choosing stuff to watch includes maths and does not include personal opinion… probably later?) but now I‘m getting hungry and am going to eat something instead of screaming some more into the void.