#but now i literally have nothing to lose
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god. this is so fucking fucked up.
#i purposefully wasn’t telling my grandparents about my mental health issues#because they don’t understand they just don’t#and then my mom just informed me she went ahead and told them everything. without asking me first.#cool cool very cool#and now i’m upset she did that#and she can’t even say sorry. she won’t even acknowledge she’s in the wrong for doing that#and part of the reason i haven’t killed myself yet#is because if i failed i didn’t want to have to explain it to my grandparents#but now i literally have nothing to lose#and i wont be able to face them again because they’re going to hammer me about it and i dont. want. to talk about it.#this is just great#i literally cannot catch a break#it’s just one fucked up thing after another#no one to talk to no one to trust no future to hope for no reason to live#i have fucking nothing. i can’t do this. i can’t#why is this happening to me i don’t understand#snow.txt
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cringe is dead because rouxls is carrying the weight of it all madoka style
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#swatch#queen#kris#ralsei#art#doodles#comic#i had to scribble something silly or i would lose my mind#''have u ever drawn pirate rouxls'' there u go now i have ur welcome#was going to draw him on the duck but it did not fit in frame#i can fit a lot of serious headcanons and angst into a character that has LITERALLY done nothing but make a complete ASS of himself-#-every time he's on screen. idk how he can possibly get worse but i can't wait to find out#i wanna throw him into walls like a sticky hand repeatedly#anyway did u guys know its hedy lamarr's birthday today??? happy birthday girlboss xoxo#EDIT HAHA SORRY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST AT 11AM BUT I SCHEDULED IT FOR 11PM#WHOOPS
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In which the kaminoans make a simple clerical error and hand Prime the wrong clone; Jango spends months doting on and loving his son only for them to come to him and apologize: they confused his unaltered clone with CC-2224. They take his son his Kote the clone from his arms and settle another little bundle there and it pulls loose the thought he’d been so desperate to never think: they’re just babies. Children. If there wasn’t something intrinsically different between them, then Jango had condemned children to death.
Jango can feel a massive headache coming on as he clutches the clone the child his son and wonders where he took a wrong turn in his life.
#star wars fic#now I see this as#jangobi#or#codywan#Jango manages to swallow some of his anger and devises a plan where he reaches out to the Jedi#and we get jangobi from there or#Jango is unable to stop clone production (compelled by a force suggestion???)#and he raises his literal army of sons knowing he can do nothing#and the clone culture and knowledge is just different#they have different expectations from the Jedi (not particularly friendly ones)#and the Kote meets obi wan Kenobi#and can’t quite make himself upset when he quickly loses his heart to him
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pushing daisies season 1 episode 1 – pie-lette
i guess dying is as good as any excuse to start living
#pushing daisies#pushing daisies edit#pushingdaisiesedit#tvedit#mine#FINALLY getting around to put this plan into action#started this series last year (i think) and then had to stop watching it bc time#but always said that i'd start it up again from new and would gif every episode bc look at how stunning they are how could i not#(this show is specifically made for me actually just so u know)#and look at us now!! finally starting#perfect timing to spite adobe too!! <3#not sh*#excited for this tho!! hope i don't lose motivation#but i have literally nothing else to watch so!! chances are good
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Watched yesterday the TF ONE finally. Glad to say i'll never recover from it :]
#transformers#maccadam#transformers one#transformers megatron#transformers d16#megatron#d 16#the way even my family who only know transformers from the live action movies and nothing else#yet they were also shocked with the ending#i was literally with goosebumps everytime d16 started losing himself into becoming megatron#im PRAYING the movie does well in the box office cause i NEED MORE NOW!!!#but seriously like imaginr the second movie: obviously it'll be the rise of the war#its obvious optimus and megatron will become more like the versions of themselves we know but also watching megatron become more evil!!#i have GOT to see him become the evil leader he is! i've GOT to see how he drives the decepticon cause away from its original goal!!#clearly him being given power is already corruptive to him enough#so imagine when he gains more!!!
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hmmm just watched a somewhat motivational yt video ('week in my life' vlog they are like drugs to me) and now since I'm kinda sad that I don't have nanowrimo to look forward to next month, I think I'm gonna do New Shit November, which is a thing I just invented where I try something new every single day.
Literally anything new: new show, new music, new drink, new coffee shop (maybe I'll finally remember to go in the one with the funny signs?), new book though I guess that's a low-ball one bc I read new books all the time. New hobby/activity. Walk to a new place. Go in a new shop. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT'S NEW COUNTS.
and I'm gonna try and record everything in my planner so I can review at the end of the month.
#something something gotta keep doing new things so your brain doesn't calcify#anyway the nano team did release a much more....apologetic apology in early October but i have nothing prepped and I don't wanna lose#momentum on north now that ive gotten back in the groove of it (literally like 500 words away from the end of Part 1!!)#soooooooo new daily challenge#side note i made too much stuffed squash filling so i have 3 containers for lunches next week! don't need to make lunches this weekend!!
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For some reason my post about the Heist in the Hells has been getting some traction recently so I thought maybe it's time to talk about my actual thoughts on what I would like to see in the hypothetical Heist in the Hells DLC (my personal hell)
I was trying to figure out a whole bunch of stuff about Mephistopheles and the 8th layer of the hells! First, the vaults are in Mephistar, a citadel on top of a Glacier named Nargus, which is piloted by Mephisto all over Cania constantly on the move. Mephisto has his slowly melting throne at the very center of the glacier, and the rest of the city is like a mini-hell with 3 terraced levels where the lowest level is with “lowly least devils” and mid tier for mid devils i guess and then hellfire masters and nobles and the wizards on the third higher levels. It’s heated on the inside of Mephistar! It has baths and scented fires (not sure what they smell like but I assume something other than fire?)
The rest of Cania is just like barren wasteland full of just the weirdest left over arcane energy cus of Mephisto’s experimentation, its cold as fuck and it has constant surveillance against spies, mostly spies sent by Dispater, mr THE Arms Dealer of all the planes, so you know that motherfucker mephistopheles is very used to these types of people showing up and trying to go into the vaults and such
NOW Helsik very specifically used the words “I punched a portal into the Archdevil’s dusty vaults”, so I assume it was directly into the vaults that they fell into. I'm not sure how this is even possible but i'm not one to ask questions that i will never understand the answers to (lying, im seething)
However, regardless of the fact that I don't know how Helsik the queen that she is did that, she did do it. I imagine the vaults are huge and incredibly elaborate and probably several stories? Layers? Deep. The items and scrolls and information must all be neatly cataloged and kept track of in the most particular way because Mephistopheles is nothing if not obsessively controlling of all his knowledge and information
However the whereabouts of the actual physical objects must be like.. Constantly changing or magically protected so that those with no authorization cannot find their way through the vaults
Mephistopheles’s filing system is… insane but i do think he would keep track. Or make someone else keep track. He’s very busy. He typically hands down experiments he ran out of time to deal with in his busy schedule to his lessers so I wouldn't put it past him to have someone else also take care of the cataloging. The Crown of Karsus is NOT high on his priority list so i understand how this was potentially feasible to Gortash and The Dark Urge
Actually Talking about the heist itself now:
I imagine that if a whole heist dlc (don't think we’re getting one but a man can dream) did happen it would start with a bit of exposition. Probably explaining a little bit of the Letters between Durge and Gortash. Specifically these ones:
Then we cut to a scene where they’re already at Helsik’s place. They’ve discussed the plans in depth, they’ve been doing test runs for this in the House of Hope and now it’s time for the real deal.
Helsik “punches” the portal into the Vaults and they jump in. The portal closes behind them, Helsik will not allow herself to be implicated in anything. They take in their surroundings; they have to be quick, although it is heated inside of Mephistar the frigidness of Cania cuts deeper than anything Baldur’s Gate could ever manage. I imagine that they, having never been here before, look for something that can help them navigate/orient themselves in the vaults. Perhaps that whole cataloging system I talked about earlier. You can choose to ignore it and just go straight forwards checking every room making it substantially harder and less efficient which makes Gortash a little pissy at you for not taking his advice and helping him look for that or you can look around for one but the actual system for cataloging is encrypted
Maybe a mini puzzle game can take place here, like the one with the brain in Moonrise Towers
The thingy would then lead deeper into vaults where they would fight Gelugons (the main residents of the 8th layer also known as ice devils) and other assorted devils including pit fiends and pain devils. Maybe a couple dire polar bears also who knows who Mephisto but on his security team
At one point i want to come across an ice devil that much like Yurgir in the house of hope in act 3, can be convinced to side with you and become a temporary ally (perhaps it holds resentment towards Hutijin, mephistopheles’ second in command, and just got sick and tired of the monotony and wants to stick it to the man, i just want a devil in my party even for a second)
If you manage to successfully persuade this devil to join you, Gortash might be impressed and tell you about how tricking a devil is no easy feat, you can ask him to elaborate on that and he might tell you a bit about his time in the house of hope as Raphael’s unwilling guest Who knows
Moving on, I’d like several more puzzles to delve deeper into the vaults, some that lead nowhere some that lead exactly where you need to go, if you did the earlier puzzle Gortash will be able to guide you and say which ones lead nowhere and which ones are the ones you need to do
Eventually I want a mechanically engineered door to be the next hurdle which Gortash takes upon himself to solve on his own since he’s more well suited towards this kind of thing, during this, rounds and rounds of incoming security swarm around you both, and Durge has to defend Gortash while he works on getting the door open. Much like the quest for Halsin looking for Thaniel in the Shadowfell, you gotta keep the portal open but instead of “keep the portal open” its “keep Gortash alive and not distracted”
When the rounds of enemies are done you get a little cutscene where you see Durge being overwhelmed by the many devils and it cuts to Gortash who has just opened the door and he takes less than a second’s pause before he decides that instead of going through the door and escaping to relative safety on his own, leaving durge to die he helps durge and they are both able to get through the door sealing it behind them, now in relative safety, they both take a second to breathe
You as durge now can talk to Gortash and have the dialogue options to say Thank you, scold him for dragging you away from the bloody slaughter, or question his decision to come back for you
I THINK IN MY MIND that the response for all these options would basically be the same, because Gortash is a well practiced speaker and knows exactly what to say but his body language would sort of give him away for the way he’s feeling about the option you choose
Thanking him would lead to a more defensive “pushing away” way of saying “I still require your assistance, we’re not done. Don’t expect it to happen again.” tsundere ass but like imagine that but better written
Scolding him would get a sorta like “I cant fucking believe this” as if he expected durge to be a little more practical about things and not lose focus in the madness that was that slaughter and rampage, like i said still the same but just “Argh! I still require your assistance! We are NOT done. DO NOT expect it to happen again if you intend to act this way.” He needs you to focus, not lose yourself in blood
Questioning and challenging his decision but not outright saying you disapprove would probably be playing right into the whole “equals who challenge each other” thing that he likes to do so it’d probably make him slow down, talk slower, make him really think about why he did it and do the thing where while talking he can't look at Durge in the eyes so he looks off to the side or down at the floor “I still need your help. We’re nowhere near done. Let’s not expect this to happen again, yes?” Like acknowledging that yes that was in fact weakness that neither of their masters tolerate (because obviously the correct thing a baneite would have done is let the bhaalspawn die so that he alone already so close to the crown could take it for himself) and almost regretful that he didn't have a better excuse
You continue forward and finally come into the room with the Crown of Karsus and the portfolio labeled “Accelerated Grand Design”, there they encounter a boss fight, probably not mephisto himself cus they’d be dead tbh but maybe a simulacrum or something idk here things get a bit dicey for me cus what the fuck! How do they get out? I thought maybe they do the fight and once they grab everything they need or want they maybe have an enhanced cloak of dimension door or maybe a scroll of teleportation or something to get them out of the deep deep VAULTS themselves and into a place where they can “safely” create another circle on this side with the components and specific instructions Helsik gave them
They’d arrive home back in Baldur’s Gate and celebrate their victory briefly and bada bing bada boom the dlc is over. If i had it my way at the end right there those two idiot geniuses would get so horny from the powerrush and bloodlust they just experienced that they end the dlc with durgetash fucking nasty
#bg3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#enver gortash#the dark urge#durgetash#now when does this take place? great question i dont have an answer for you#do i have it all thought out? no i do not#did i spend a lot of time researching Mephistar just to have nothing to show for it? absolutely baby#helsik#guys please tell me you have your own thoughts i literally feel like im losing my mind#baldur’s gate 3
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*cries* olly, they could never make me hate you
#you people are forgetting he's FOURTEEN#HE IS JUST A KID#HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING#HE'S A BABY#HE JUST WANTS TO BE SEEN#YES HE SHOULD PAUSE HIS EXCITEMENT AND ENERGY AND ASK PAISLEY WHAT SHE WANTS#BUT THATS THE OTHER PART!!!#ITS NOT JUST OLLY!!! PAISLEY DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE HER PROBLEM WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO LOSE HIM!#ITS LIKE HALF THE PLOT GUYS#OLLY THINKS HE'S HELPING PAISLEY DO WHAT SHE LOVES#BUT THEN HE GETS CAUGHT UP WITH THE IDEA OF FAME AND *BOTH* OF THEM BEING SEEN#AND PAISLEY DOESNT WANT THIS#ITS FUN EVERY NOW AND THEN BUT SHE DOESNT WANT IT ALL THE TIME#BUT SHE HAS A HARD TIME SAYING THIS TO OLLY BECAUSE HE'S SO EXCITED AND HAPPY AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO LOSS HER BEST FRIEND#cmon guys its A KIDS SHOW#both olly and paisley are just kids#they dont know nothing much#i swear the second paisley confesses to olly she doesnt want to do all this ley-la stuff he'll stop it right away once he realizes he hasnt#asked for her thoughts on it.#you guys are forgetting that they're best friends!! and they have been since they were LITERALLY BABIES!#they're just kids#lego friends#lego friends the next chapter#lego friends olly#lego friends paisley#dont attack me please
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i honestly don’t know what i’ll do once the watermelon season is over, or when jjk ends
#— ai rambles#watermelon being my primary source of food this summer combines with feta cheese#combined *#it’s honestly my biggest obsession esp this summer i’ve never eaten so much watermelon in my entire life lol#and 2) i don’t think i can hyperfixate on another media like i did with jjk#i tried T^T but nothing quite hits the same i eventually lose interest#+ the way i can’t blorbofy other characters now bc#well . for obvious reasons aka gojo satoru#nobody’s good enough sjsjsjjd#like every hype i have over a new character lasts literally 3 days max then gets forgotten#💔💔💔#rip i’ll be forever here in jjk even when the fandom dies and i just talk to myself
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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Petunia literally abused Harry bro 💀 and pointing that out doesn’t mean we’re downplaying her grief or bc she’s a woman
yall are gonna freak out when you realise that abusers are also human
#’she literally ABUSED—’ yes ? and i still find her captivating and interesting#abusers are almost never just evil monsters#they’re human beings who chose to do that to you#they actively chose to treat you that way Knowing Better#and just putting the label ’abuser’ on a fictional character is so boring omg what about character studies#some people can be unredeemable ! and i can still sympathize#ive said it before. im never going to forgive my abuser and would probably punch you if you asked me to#<- but some people love my abuser and my abuser have real and good relationships in her life#shes not Evil and Monstrous all the time#but she was that way with me#people aren’t one dimensional ! life isn’t that black and white !#and its frankly quite childish and downright strange if you dont have the capacity to understand that#i literally talked about how my narcissa had good intentions but unredeemable in an ask like. the other day#nuance is interesting i fear :/#some people dont break the cycle of abuse and some people dont grow up to be good people#doesnt mean thats all there is to them i fear#anyway!#asks#also who said anything about her being a woman. that was all you king#also. sy’s post had nothing to do with petunias relationship with harry ? yall are just pointing that out because you hate women#<- now i said it!#like sy was making an interesting point about petunias grief about losing a sister she barely knew anymore but grew up with#and yall have to come in and be like WAAAAHHH SHES AN ABUSER THO DID U KNOW DID YOUUUUU#grow up
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good days aren't easy to come by
#simblr#ts4 legacy#valentine gen 4#fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own#but it's gonna get Long so strap in#basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15#he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman#it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to#devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever#and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen#he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old#youtube videos on his busted up phone#it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician#that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to#and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together#enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off#so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction#so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it#his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since#until now anyway#still not a guitar. but maybe someday#or he can find his old one and buy it again.........#lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you
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"work wife"???? But not actual wife??
LOL no not actual wife! Both the work wife and I have actual husbands instead 🤭🤭 And my husband is JUST as crazy as I am and WILL do farther daytrips like the absolute insane mans he is! Which is one of the MANY reasons I married him--his weirdness matches my weirdness 💖💖💖💖💖
As a fun fact, the craziest day trip/road trip we have done: we went to IKEA about two ish hours away. Came home, realized upon unloading new bedframe that he had misplaced his wallet somewhere. So what did we do?
WELL IKEA was closed but you bet your ass we got BACK in the car and drove BACK to the pit stop (an hour?? ish?? away??) that VERY night and checked the trash there and asked the people inside (who were sups friendly! They checked the tapes for us and everything!) if they'd seen it. They hadn't! So, we drove BACK home and the next day, after work, we yeeted ourselves into the car and drove BACK to ikea to see if they had it
AND THEY DID!
He was so relieved and then we had IKEA hot dogs for dinner, his treat bc he had his wallet again 🤭🤭🤭 (they are pretty good but costco ones I think deffs are better!)
BUT YEAH. My actual spouse is just as unhinged as I am and I love him about it 😍😍😍😍😍😍
#dani answers#wizardshark#BUT YEAH!#anyway i get that a lot of people are like 'work spouse culture is literally insane and weird' and that is CORRECT#it CAN BE! and rest assured that we are NOT#tbh a good like 30% of our time spent together is gushing about our spouses lol#anyway she's so fucking cool it's not even funny and when i told her that she was like WHAT i am NOT cool YOU'RE cool#and i was like DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG and then friendship lol#she is very cool tho. she calls richard chard#he and i think it's fucking HILARIOUS#she's so cool and talented and i miss her bc we haven't hung out in like WEEKS bc of the horrors (i keep getting SICK)#and also bc her department moved back to the building they were in post-reno. so we didn't lunch as per the usual bc she was busy aF#and she's going on vacay for like two weeks now#she's so sweet too! she got me skin tone markers for my BDAY! i'd mentioned it off hand once or twice and this bitch REMEMBERED#her husbando is also v funny lol. gr8 cook too! and a gossipy little guy which is HILARIOUS bc so is chard lmao#anyway sorry for going off in the tags!! i have been home sick too long and am LOSING IT#if im not well enough for work tomorrow i'm gonna explode. i cant keep doing NOTHING it's driving me BATTY#(but at least I'm feeling better and resting up and such lol)
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waking up means starting the day's long battle of fighting to stay conscious
#ough im so sleepy.... eepy even....#i already slept so much but the couch is calling to me#'maybe a lil nap wouldnt hurt' < thats the demons talking#but honestly. what WOULD it hurt? its not like i have literally Anything going on in my life!#there is nothing i need to be awake for!#why shouldn't i doze. why shouldn't i....#IM LOSING THE BATTLE#absolutely unprompted#i would like to scribble but im so tired... so sleepy... my eyelids are so heavy#just... just one little nap. an hour! or two. or five. lets go for a coma actually that sounds festive#a month long sleep should fix me (lie)#ill scribble some laughingstock later i prommy....#awww wait tangent#my cat letti has started up a new game#where she shoves a toy under a shelf and then runs to the other side to try and fish it out from underneath#and then she shoves it back under rinse and repeat#she's so enthusiastic about it... practically throwing herself around as she bats the toy back and forth#oh nope she got it out and now she's tossing it around & playing cat soccer with it <3#and i am going to go Nap. ive lost the battle <3 im waving a white flag <3 i surrender to diet death
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#just saw like half of a tiktok and the urge to make another vent post....#but i wont i dont wanna get into the discourse lol#all im gonna say is - just bc buck 'likes to fix things' doesnt mean he's gonna drop everything to deal with eddies mess#he has his own life and if he wants to have dinner with his bf after a hard day he can#bobby is with his wife and resting why would buck stick around#and Eddie's situation is not bucks to fix - he was there for support and did what he always does#like yeah eddie is about to lose chris and it's awful but what do you expect buck to do about it??? there's literally nothing he can#why are people now mad that he wasnt with Bobby or Eddie and instead went to have dinner with tommy#and it wasnt ooc imo - this is buck finally thinking of himself and his needs first like he should#he won't always be there to fix things for every single person bc he shouldn't be??#(and imo nothing about the convo was weird or ooc either - maybe rushed but they had a minute lol)#well i guess it did turn into a vent in the tags lmao#im gonna delete this im just sooooo annoyed#tiktok how many times do i have to say i wanna stay off 911tok ugh
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LITERALLY stuff i’ve posted before <<< i just wanted to assemble some modern au scribbles in one place :)
BUT they’re in different brushbug universes tho. in the second one brushbug is a relatively unpopular character with merch & only this family truly cares about it
#witch hat tag#orufrey#it's. like a foster home art school. oru is an old friend who decided to live with them to help out. he does art comms from his room#i thought i wasn't a modern au person or an au person at all but ever since i decided hubert von vestra & ferdinand von aegir met on neopets#when they were 13 and hubert got ferdinand's account frozen by tricking him into swearing on the neoboards losing him his faerie eyrie#and now a facet of their relationship is him trying to make up for that slight and their first anniversary present is a faerie eyrie plushie#i have realised the power and pleasure of modern aus.#there is nothing stopping qifrey from having his realisation while looking at his exhausted friend in a hoodie carrying food#for the kids under his arm & thinking 'is this... am i.. ????' < has actually been in love since they met at age 7 on deviantart#literally tumblr is just good at assembling things for myself. my art documents are kinda.. a mess. i have a folder for each yearly quarter#i hope u read the description i dont want to make it seem like coco invented a character at age 12 that is now on cereal boxes#oru was like what the fuck is this character and why is the house full of it but now he buys merch too & has brushbug slippers
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