#but now i have sense trust issues
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I keep getting these waves of dizzy nausea ND everything smells like this weird rotting smell that's almost sweet but just makes me more nauseous, and anything with meat or dairy tastes spoiled as well as potato and maybe just all starchy foods
#i got curry chips cause u know whst feeling of nausea where u think of one thing and ur like#this will make everything better#i could practically smell and taste it in my imagination and didnt see it making me sick like the though of other foods did#and the i got them and the potato tasted wrong#spoiled meat#the curry sauce barely tasted of anything#but it still tasted like curry sauce so luckily it masked it#but now i have sense trust issues#like i keeo thinking how could (thing) make me feel gross and then it does and im sad#the nausea and dizzyness is overwhelming#COVID-19
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Sophie Shepard & Kaidan Alenko (ME1) 1/?
MIRA'S MORE CANON ME1 "After everything that happened with Zaeed, Caleston, and the Villa? I think need to tell you a few things about BAaT." "Well, after everything that happened with Zaeed, Caleston, and the Villa? I think I might owe you an explanation about how I really know Anderson." AKA: Zaeed Massani and the case of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad message ping. :) Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs â¨#sophie shepard#kaidan alenko#shenko#mass effect#mass effect legendary edition#me#dailygaming#morecanonmasseffect#otp: youâre real enough for me#hi my name is mira and i like taking the most convoluted route to make gifs of my blorbos :)#the devil on my shoulder told me to do an LE1 mesh swap and i should not have listened lmao but IT TURNED OUT CUTE SO IT WAS WORTH IT :)#alright if weâre nailing down canon all of this happens at the villa technically?? so not even on the normandy lmao but we donât have that#so this is as close as i could get it. and soph pulling up kaidan felt more canon to me in the â¨contextâ¨#so we MESH SWAPPED BABY and now i have the power of kaidan alenko as shep to make AU gifs#LE1 mesh swaps might hurt my soul but eden prime calls my name :)#all of this happens at sophâs favorite spot overlooking the villa which is where they have the baat/anderson conversations :)#the most canon thing from this is the interruption of the kiss which isnât joker in sophâs canon itâs zaeed lmao#he bypasses the mute on her omni-tool to bug her about coming to grab his shit from the normandy he didnât grab earlier in the day#the eye roll in that one gif? she is internalizing her rage#her inner thoughts are literally something along the lines of#âzaeed massani i am literally going to fucking kill you and strip your viper for partsâ in canon lol#i said fuck it to me1 canon and decided they get together early. caleston is the first mission. it just makes sense for them honestly#i could go on a 30 rant tag about just that but i think itâs just like a *when you know* and a trust thing#especially for soph who has issues trusting people and thereâs always been a feeling in the back of her head of knowing she can trust him#and in soph!canon i think it goes the same in reverse for kaidan because i think thereâs sort of a âlone bioticâ stigma around him#and i think they were both drawn to each other because it was easy to see *someone* to trust under the lone biotic and the sole survivor#âsomeoneâ i use that word a lot in canon :) but i think theyâre both trusting of each other early on because they see foils in one another#and i think they both feel on the outside a bit in a way. kindred spirits. which is probably why they fall hard fast :)#i probably ranted too much like i always do because i treat the tags like a TEDtalk but have a good day as always friend! đ
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GRANDMA HUA???
You're out picking flowers and Grandma casually drops that she used to be part of that incredibly cursed cult village your most incessant stalker drew a whole entire picture book about and uses as a light moral bedtime story.
THIS LADY RIGHT HERE. Conversation under the cut.
Grandma Hua: Better than the past when you had to trade something just to get a bite to eat...
Rover: Exchange?
Grandma Hua: Hmm...When I was younger, in another village, they had the habit of exchange.
Grandma Hua: Exchange...What exactly are we exchanging...?
Grandma Hua: I can't remember...Every time I think of the word "exchange", I get the heebie-jeebies...
#wuthering waves#VERY DISTURBING GRANDMA HUA. THANK YOU.#YES YOU HAVE A NICE DAY TOO#yooo qichi village lore just dropped#and by 'just dropped' I mean it's been here forever but I just found it so#I didn't notice this when I first ran into her but it literally calls her âQichi Villagerâ#think that was an accident?#she lives in Taoyuan Vale now! Game!#anyway so we seem to get a little more about what it was like to actually live there#sounds uh....pretty awful! unsurprisingly!#first thought: capitalism on steroids#also like...a cannibal village but without the cannibalism. if that makes sense.#she also talks about how nice it is to be able to do everything for yourself (implied: and not have to rely on anyone)#so. major trust issues. which doesn't sound surprising from what we know about the place.#a backstabbing paranoid and hyper-individualistic culture it sounds like#the WORST combo#and it was bad enough knowing what we knew but if they were having to use those 'wishes' on something like food just to be able to eat...#dang#her flip into present tense at the end there is 100% a translation error but that's also a PTSD symptom SOOO#'what ARE we exchanging...?'#she'll never fully be out of that place ):
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they should invent a me that doesnt hurtttt
#i wanna take a hot bath but my aunt just put a shit ton of biofreeze on my back and that will hurt like hell#if i lay down in the bath. and i only rly wanna soak my legs anyway bc they hurt soooo bad today but sitting up w my back out of the water#will hurt my hips. also im having balance issues today + i dont trust myself not to get super lightheaded n need help if i took a bath#also im on the clock LMAO not that literally anything has happened my whole shift. not even a phone call#ive been sitting here watching mindless baking shows bc no brain spoons or body spoons#so thank god for a shift where jackshit happens but i want!!! to read a book but i canf bc my brain is too fucked rn#<- from doing too much physical activity i might add. which is dumb as HELL#like wdym i walked around the grocery store instead of using one of those little driving carts#and now my brain doesnt fucking work? make it make sense#okay anyway ranting time over. wait also i have to do laundry and will have to change my clothes+pillowcase at least from laying on them#w so much biofreeze on. and ive needed to do laundry all week GRRRR someone shld destroy the concept of laundry i hate clothes#anyway i hope u have all enjoyed my complaints list i hope god sees it and magically like gives me a basket of clean folded laundry while#i sleep tonight or like makes the chronic pain less chronic and less painful. one can hope
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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Listen, am I happy that you now get to rule the world with your SO and be evil together? Of course, evil couple takeover for astarion and minthy romancers, especially when they egged you on to do so, makes much more sense. However do I miss the tragedy of a characters who thought they were finally free and powerful being ultimately betrayed by the one they loved? Having thier love become corrupted and warped into something cruel as thier lover perpetuates thier own cycle of violence and abuse? Yes absolutely
Also yes I know this change is old but I've been busy ok
#i had a whole storyline man đ#with an animatic song and everything đ#i mean ill still probably make the thing but I have to adjust the in game storyline for that character#idk i wish it was a choice to enthrall your partner or not but also i genuinely do think this is a better option#makes more sense and doesnt break up the cutscene#baldur's gate 3#bg3#it was gonna be an evil dark urge who romanced ascended astarion and they both loved each other once but its become so corrupted#astarion after ascension and durge after siding with thier father in the temple#also they both had trust issues and were victims that continued the cycle <3<3<3<3<3<3<3#but yeah now im rewriting her to still be evil but prob minthy mancer?#i could stay with ascended but he doesnt see his love interest as an equal#and thats not as fun when i get to do it the other way and betray him right back#also the song is kiss me son of god and i am obsessed with it so i still will most definitely be making the animatic with the enthralling
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finally watching the hidden inventory episodes solidified the fact that i love toji and i will unfortunately never be a stsg lover
#now iâm so excited to finish bc yuuuuujiiiiiiiiiiiii my babyyyyyyyyyyyy#i mean itâs gonna be rough but iâll watch it for him and him alone#the last ep definitely gave me more empathy for geto but itâs just⌠sigh. i can see why people love him#but to me heâs the kind of person iâd never be able to fully trust. he holds too much back. the theatrics replaced earnestness.#and even when he was earnest there was a clear sense of self-importance and superiority#the stsg relationship is tragic but also it emphasizes how self-absorbed gojo was#iâm not saying he was a bad guy but he saw signs and didnât dig any deeper. ofc geto couldâve said something and didnât but#thatâs often the case for people in crisis.#and itâs a systemic issue esp. in the jujutsu world#thereâs a distinct lack of empathy#sorcerers protect common people because theyâre superior and regular people are inferior#but thereâs also a pervasive sense of hopelessness bc you know that everyone around you will likely die a gruesome and premature death#so it makes sense why geto defected and why gojo acted the way he did#what do you do when youâre stuck in a tragic system?#theyâre both sides of the coin#anyway. sorry for my nonsensical ramblings.#i know people have already said stuff along these lines itâs just inchresting to watch it all animated.#ALSO i think itâs so weird that toji gets clowned for being âobsessedâ and having âbeefâ with teens like#a. he was doing his job and knew he would have to take gojo and geto out to accomplish it#and b. his issue is with what they representâjujutsu society as a whole. the haves and have nots.#his goal was to uproot the jujutsu world. and while he didnât accomplish the goal in his lifetime he certainly rocked the boat#and incited future events
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petition for my parents to stop thinking i'm unprepared and being stupid with the idea of getting a pet
#i'm moving into a pet friendly apartment and i keep telling my parents i'm going to wait a year and see if i feel ready/like i have time for#a pet#and everyone's always going âbut the money!â âbut you don't know how much time you'll have!â#and i always have to remind them that i said i was waiting a year to think about this shit#and now my stepmom was telling me i can't have pets because my lease says no pets in the apartment#and i said i could i'd just have to tell them#and she kept going no and telling me a lease is legally binding as if i didn't know that when i fucking signed the thing#i'd just have to tell my apartment complex about the pet and sign a new lease when i renew it after a year#and i get it that my parents just want to help me and make sure i'm doing okay on my own#but i'm not incompetent and they're always treating me as if i can't be trusted to do the bare minimum#and i've been moved out/living on my own for 5 fucking years now#i clearly have some sense if i've made it this long without issue#sorry this is such a long rant i'm so frustrated#zip quips
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I'd let Tseng kidnap me
Probably
Just. In general
PROBABLY.
to be fair when he faced Aerith (in what /i/ know is him kidnapping her), this happens:
so the implication, which perfectly makes sense, is that Aerith is going to let him kidnap her in exchange of dropping Marlene at her mom's house to keep her safe.
And he's likely ready to do that.
so like. my point is. Aerith too bro o7
#like imo it makes sense Aerith would barging and it makes sense Tseng agrees too#the only issue i have for now is that normally when Tseng goes to show he kidnapped Aerith he brutalizes her a bit in the OG#but then the compilation did show that Tseng is somewhat affectionate of Aerith and wouldn't hurt her without reasons#so i assumed then -- that on the plane he was especially rough to show his dedication to Shinra#but also tbh Aerith fights to get to tell Tifa Marlene is safe#so i guess the scene itself can still happen even if it's because they made a deal....#anyway! i'll see then!#point is. yeah Aerith too that's how much she trusts him. if that's anything?#ichareply#anonymous#ichafantalks ffvii#ichablogging ffviirg
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its interesting bc natori is trying to protect natsume the only way he knows how and natsume is being confronted with things hes never had to before and hes learning a lot of things abt himself and his worldview
#i think before the fugiwaras natsume probably wouldnt have been so stubborn abt it?#but at the same time#before the fugiwaras he wouldnt have come to involve himself so deeply with youkai#so hes being confronted with natori and his worldview and going i dont agree with this at all#and its porbbaly a little (a lot) jarring to find someone so similar to you and yet not similar at all#and natori really isnt trying to be mean i think#hes being firm bc he wants natsume to understand bc he really wants to keep him safe#but natori has his own issues to work through and while i dont blame him for how he views youkai and stuff#its a little hard to agree with him when we've seen the full breadth of youkai interactions through natsume#natori telling natsume he needs to choose a side is like. so cruel lmao#unintentionally so i think but its cruel all the same to me. bc natsume said before i think when he first met natori?#that he can see youkai. he can see and he can hear and he cant ignore them because of that#theyre the same level as humans to natsume. bc like hes right u know? theyre not all bad. theyre just different#but he can interact with both and its a disservice to ignore one side for the other#bc each 'side' affects each other you know?#idk what the fuck im talking abt it makes sense to me just trust#i truly dont know where i was going with this#like natsume lived very closed off before. and hes finally learning to like. LIVE you know? to experience the whole workd that is offered to#him. to meet new people and have new experiences and stuff#and hes letting himself do that bc he CAN now. and saying to pick a side human vs youkai is like asking him to close himself off again#and natsume wouldnt like the person he would become bc hed go back to the miserable and closed off kid he used to be#natsume is much more polite than me tho i wouldve told natori to shut the fuck up and go fall in a ditch or something#natsume just ran away#michi tag#im sure he was thinking it somewhere deep deep deep inside
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Lord give me energy today eueueue
#dora daily#sm things piling up but my brain says NO#I canât even do basic things đ#itâs genuinely so hard to talk to others#aaaaaaah#the reason is bc Iâve forced myself into contentment with the prospect of being alone cause thereâs just so much I can do that would bring#me joy in solitude but#thatâs what Iâve always been doing part of the reason I talk a lot is bc thatâs how I am in my head#like things firing at 100miles per second bc thatâs how I used to keep myself entertained when I was younger#when everyone would have buddies and I wouldnât#and it works now bc everyone takes ten business days to reply that itâs completely made me genuinely grossed out of social interaction#but I canât live in La La land forever#pls if only kaveh existed I wouldnât need another means of socialisation eueeuue#everyone is so impossible to understand; coming from a girl who has always been called utterly INSANE for how hard she hyper focuses on#small cues and signals and detecting discomfort and whatnot. I turn my brain off for one second and yet again the same shit happens itâs so#unfair that everyone can be relaxed and I ought to be on high alert 24/7#I also find it hilarious and pathetic when people pretend to be people smart but theyâre really not ⌠itâs genuinely embarrassing#like bitch when you get to my level then we will talk istg âŚ#Istg if this is the autism thing everyoneâs been telling me im screwed cause#I donât want yet another issue#but itâd make sense like how people seem to draw away despite there being nothing wrong with me#how people tend to agree with everything someone else says but the moment I do it itâs heinous#how I have physically had to learn social cues and trial and error#with the errors altering my brain chemistry#that unwavering sense of justice that makes me so very uncomfortable if not fulfilled that I shut up about so I can actually hold down#friends. God knows how every interaction I have with a person is so orchestrated so almost artificial and âyes-manâ core that I donât even#believe said person likes ME bc idek who I am and bc if I donât agree w#everything no matter how many times someone says I wonât get mad âŚ. trust me they do theyâre all liars and manipulators even if they donât#intend to#the scary fascinations Iâve had when younger
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okay but i'm still in awe of this process. like it has been so consistent and easy. there are still days i don't feel like getting my words in but i've continued to soldier on and hit my mark day after day (except for yesterday but that wasn't just laziness or a lack of discipline, i wasn't physically feeling up to it). and i have 60k words to show for it in under a month!!!! like that is so insane to me and i'm so excited, not only about the immediate payoff (having almost a complete draft) but also about the idea that i've unlocked the secret to doing this again in the future, as many times as ideas that grace me. like this is so so huge for me and the idea that something so big can come about through small habits every day (prioritizing those 2k words no matter what) is not lost on me. so proud of myself for developing that discipline bc like i've said, i always knew and feared that i wouldn't get anywhere worthwhile without it
#she bork#novel 2024#idk when i think about in the big picture i'm like !!!! i've almost finished a novel-length draft!!!!!! and it's good work bc it's#structurally sound and INTENTIONAL. everything plotwise makes sense and falls into place and that has always been my biggest obstacle i#feel. so i think i could really do something w this. big possibilities are my specialty and this project abounds w them. like if i can sell#it??? in theory it could CHANGE MY LIFE. i couldn't quit my job off it or anything but it could bring me some significant income if i can#truly polish it enough. AGGGGHHH it's so hard to be patient and trust in the day-to-day work but i'm learning and working on it bc there#truly is no other way to succeed w this#furthermore i think this project has renewed my faith in having a writing career. bc again i always knew i'd never get anywhere without#discipline and i always thought discipline to put the words down every day was my issue but it turns out that PLOTTING (specifically#subplotting) was my issue. it wasn't that i was being lazy it was that i was getting stuck and had nowhere to go so i would just lose steam#and the project would die. but now that ik how to plot and i've recognized how huge subplots are i feel like the discipline comes naturally#and that is so so so big for me. so now i can actually see a path to fulfill my ambitions and i'm not as scared of the dream dying and me#getting stuck working stupid bullshit jobs for the rest of my life. it just feels so so good to have a renewed drive for writing like i'm so#excited
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bro i remember being young and my grandma telling me if i dont learn to clean my room then i wont do it when im older. while there is some truth there what she did not account for was the audhd
#hated cleaning bc i didnt have proper places for stuff#my grandma would clean my room for me when she deemed it too bad which meant shoving everything out of sight and#throwing away what she thought was trash#now i can actually fucking designate places for my stuff where i can trust it will stay there and i desire to keep the place clean bc it#puts me in a better headspace#the demand avoidance though! the object permanance issues! the executive dysfunction!#now i can avoid all of those by 1. taking adderall LOL but also#putting things in plan sight#the only things that go in drawers are things that have specific or regular use#like i have drawers for my art supplies#clothes in drawers kitchen stuf fin cabinets etc#but stuff that can easily be forgotten i keep in plain sight#i keep a binder with all our important documents#its just much easier starting from scratch with a place and being able to actually learn to manage my self and posessions#plus adderall. ithonestly helps create new coping skills though likeim still adhd on it but i can regulate better which means forming#pathways and stuff#idk!#i love sharing a place with people who at least have a certain respect for my things#even if the roommate that isnt my husband doesnt have housekeeping sense god gave a goose (<- stole that one from my great grandma)#i mean good lord ive never seen anyone go so long without cleaning#Anything#At All. Ever.#like BRO MY HUSBAND AND I BOTH HAVE ISSUES WITH DEPRESSION AND EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING AND IMPULSE MANAGEMENT#BUT WE DO NOT BUY DELIVERY ALMOST EVERYDAY THEN COME UP SHORT ON RENT!!!!!!#nor does our room emanate a Stink#nor do we habitually leave trash out without (also habitually) picking it up#like i get it yk? but in common areas dont leave your trash around Constant#i get a wrapper or box on the counter or whatev.. but you just do a pass through occasionaly where you pick your stuff up and throw it away#or at least get it in one place#idk how i got into this my roommate pisses me off. also the type of motherfucker to have opportunity stare him in the face and reject it
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The Sanitized Lore of Dragon Age: The Veilguard
Tevinter is the heart of slavery in Thedas. This lore has been established in every game, novel, comic, and other extended material in the Dragon Age franchise to date that so much as mentions the nation. But in Dragon Age: The Veilguard, when we are finally able to actually visit this location for the first time⌠this rampant slavery weâve heard so much about is nowhere to be found. Itâs talked about here and there; Neve mentions The Viper has a history of freeing slaves, as does Rook themselves if they choose the Shadow Dragon faction as their origin, for example. But walking down the streets of Minrathous, youâd never know. Because Dragon Age: The Veilguard, for all its enjoyment otherwise, has one glaring issue: Itâs too clean.
The world of Thedas is full of injustices. Humans persecute elves, fear qunari, and belittle dwarves. Mages of any race are treated like caged animals in most places. The nobility is corrupt. Although, Dragon Age has not always handled these injustices well, mind you. Many, many times Iâve found myself frustrated with moments that just feel like a Racism Simulator. But what makes it worth it, is when you can actually do something about it. These injustices are things that a good-aligned character strives to fight back against, maybe even for very personal reasons. Part of the power-fantasy for many minorities is that this fight feels tangible. I cannot arrange the assassination of a corrupt politician in real life, but I sure can get Celene Valmont stabbed to death in Dragon Age: Inquisition, for example. Additionally, these fictional injustices can be used to make statements on real life parallels, like any source of media. For example, no, the Chant of Light is not real, but acting as a stand-in for Catholicism, through a media analysis lens we can explore what the Chant of Light communicates on a figurative level.
When starting Dragon Age: The Veilguard and selecting to play as an elf â this should be unsurprising to anyone who is familiar with my bias towards them â I was fully prepared to enter the streets of Minrathous and immediately get called âknife-earâ or ârabbitâ. But this did not happen. I thought perhaps it was just a prologue thing, but returning to Minrathous once again, there was not a single shred of disapproval from any NPC I encountered that wasnât a generic enemy to fight. And even the generic enemies, the Tevinter Nationalist cult of the Venatori, didnât seem to care at all that I was a lineage they deemed inferior before now. This is a stark difference from entering the Winter Palace in Dragon Age: Inquisition and immediately getting hit with court disapproval and insults. Are we now to believe that Tevinter has somehow solved its astronomical racism and classism problems in the ten years since the past game? Or perhaps are we to believe all the characters who have demonstrated Tevinterâs systemic discriminatory views were just lying or outliers? Because it makes absolutely no sense at all for this horribly corrupt nation to not have a shred of reactivity to an elven or qunari Rook prancing around. But here were are, and not a single NPC even recognizes my characterâs lineage. And because this is so different from every single past game, it feels weird.
As an elf, you have the option to make a comment about how âtoo many humans look down on usâ in one scene early in the game. You can also talk to Bellara and Davrin, the elven companions, about concerns that people wonât trust elves after finding out about the big bad Ancient Evanuris⌠but this is presented as if elves donât already face persecution. Itâs all so limited in scope that it could be all too easily missed if you are not paying very close attention, and coming into the game with pre-existing lore knowledge.
All this made it easy to first assume that the developers simply over-corrected an attempt to address the Racism Simulator moments. And if that was the case, than I would at least give credit to effort; they did not find the right balance, but they at least tried. However, the sudden lack of discrimination against different lineages in Dragon Age: The Veilguard is not the only sanitized example of lore present.
In Dragon Age: Origins, Zevran Arainai is a companion who is from the Antivan Crows; a group of assassins. He discusses in detail how the Crows buy children and raise them into murder machines through all kinds of torture. The World of Thedas books also describe how the Antivan Crows work, echoing what Zevran says and expanding that of the recruitment, only a select handful of those taken by the Crows even survive. When you start Dragon Age: The Veilguard as an Antivan Crow, you immediately unlock a re-used codex entry from the past, âThe Crows and Queen Madrigalâ, that says the following:
âHis guild has a reputation to uphold. They are ruthless, efficient, and discreet. How would they maintain such notoriety if agents routinely revealed the names of employers with something as "banal" as torture.â
Ruthless, efficient, and discreet. Torture is banal. This is what the Crows were before Dragon Age: The Veilguard decided to take them in a very different direction. The Antivan Crows in this latest game are painted as freedom fighters against the Antaam occupation of Treviso. Teia calls the Crows âpatriotsâ. And while I can certainly believe that the Crows would have enough motivation to fight back against the Antaam, given that it is in direct opposition to their own goals, I cannot understand why they are suddenly suggested to be morally good. They are assassins. They treat their people like tools and murder for money. Even as recent as the Tevinter Nights story Eight Little Talons, it is addressed that the Antivan Crows are in it for the coin and power, with characters like Teia being outliers for wanting to change that. It makes the use of the older codex all the more confusing, as it sets the Antivan Crows up as something they are no longer portrayed as.
I personally think it would have been really interesting to explore a morally corrupt faction in comparison to say, the Shadow Dragons. Perhaps even as a protagonist, address things like the enslavement of ârecruitsâ to make the faction at least somewhat better. (They are still assassins, after all.) Instead, weâre just supposed to ignore everything unsavory about them, I supposeâŚ
We could discuss even further examples. Like how the Lords of Fortune pillage ruins but itâs okay, because they never sell artifacts of cultural importance, supposedly. Or how the only problem with the Templar Order in Tevinter is just the âbad applesâ that work with Venatori. I could go on, but I donât think I have to.
It is because of all this sanitization, that I cannot believe this was simply over-correction on a developmental part. Especially when there is still racism in the game, in other forms. The impression Iâm left with feels far deeper than that; it feels corporate. As if a computer ran through the gameâs script and got rid of anything with âtoo muchâ political substance. The strongest statements are hidden in codex entries, and I almost suspect they had to be snuck in.
Between a Racism Simulator and just ignoring anything bad whatsoever, I believe a balance is achievable; that sweet spot that actually has something to say about what it is presenting. I know it is achievable, because there are a few bright spots of this that Iâve encountered in Dragon Age: The Veilguard too. For example, some of the codex entries like I mentioned, and almost all the content with the Grey Wardens thus far. It is a shame there is not more content on this level.
Dragon Age: The Veilguard is overall still a fun game, in my opinion. But itâs hard to argue that it isnât missing the grit of its predecessors. The sharp edges have been smoothed. The claws have been removed. The house has been baby-proofed. And for what purpose?
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Ateez Reaction ጠAsking them to teach you how to fuck [M]
ጠAteez all members x fem-bodied!reader ጠgenre: smut reaction (best friend!Ateez x inexperienced reader), (implied) friends to fwb/friends to lovers in one part ጠwarnings: mentions of alcohol consumption
Authorâs note: This is definitely not what I had planned to write today but oh well :â) I hope you guys enjoy~
Edit: This is labelled as having a fem-bodied!reader, but Yeosang's, San's, Mingi's and Jongho's parts also work with a gn!reader (I changed the wording slightly for two of those parts to make them gn, cause the original versions weren't very far away from that) - Yunho's part is technically gn too, but i think one line of it makes no sense if reader is imagined to be male bodied!
Hongjoong:
when one day you somewhat shyly ask him if he would teach you how to please a guy heâs definitely surprised
but itâs also not like he sees a problem with friends hooking up? i mean - yâall know each other well and trust each other, so having sex shouldnât be an issue
teaches you everything you wanted to know and then some more, until suddenly you can barely even remember that other guy who made you feel like you needed to practice so much anymore
heâll be gentle with you, seeing how you donât have much experience yet, and somehow heâll end up pleasuring you first to help you relax
only when youâre about to cum on his fingers does he stop for a second to consider whether itâs really okay to go this far with you
but youâre enjoying yourself, and now youâre whining for him to keep going, so thatâs what he does
makes you cum and then lets you rest for a bit, before he starts guiding your hands down his body
praises you for everything you do and gently nudges you in the right direction, until you have him cumming into your fist - but he wonât stop there
thereâs just something insanely hot to him about having full control over what you do to him as he gives you instructions, and this is definitely also awakening some kind of corruption kink deep inside him
eventually you end up on top of him as he guides you down his cock and into a steady rhythm, having you ride him
and of course this becomes a regular thing between the two of you, both keeping up the pretense that youâre still just âpracticingâ, when really thereâs a carnal need growing inside both of you that makes you always come back to each other for more
Seonghwa:
the first time you bring it up to him that youâve been wondering if he could help you practice having sex he feels conflicted to say the least
of course he wants to help you!! but this is about having sex with one of his best friends, and he doesnât know if he wants to cross that line with you
but at the same time itâs also apparent that your question is affecting him when you can see his ears turn red, and eventually he has to get out of there for a second to get himself a glass of water sakdfjlks
âSo is that a yes?â you ask him when he comes back, and he almost spits the water back out aksdljfkjsd
âI-Iâll have to think about it, Y/NâŚâ he somehow manages to stutter, before he forcibly changes topic
he needs a few days to calm down about this, but once some time has passed he figures itâs probably not a big issue if he helped you out a bit, right?
you agree on a few rules like no kissing, no actual intercourse, but heâs willing to let you touch him otherwise
and so you decide to start slow, with a simple handjob, and he actually finds himself enjoying the way he can tell you what to do, gently push you in the right direction, plus the sight of having your hands wrapped around his cock just does something very sinful to him - so itâs no surprise that you donât have any trouble making him cum
but now he feels the need to pay you back, and so you let him finger you, and his skillful touches throw you over the edge in no time
you do this a few times, until eventually you find yourselves growing more needy, and you end up sucking him off while he eats you out, quietly turning it into a game of who can make the other cum faster in your mind
needless to say, now that you started casually hooking up you wonât be stopping anytime soon
Yunho:
he is SOSO flustered when you first ask him about whether he could teach you a bit about sex the first time and immediately says no aksjdklfsk
âY/N, weâre just friends⌠shouldnât you do that with an actual boyfriend?â
but you insist, admitting that you feel embarrassed about how inexperienced you are, and of course this guy reassures you that youâre fine the way you are, and once the right guy comes along he will surely be understanding with you
and as much as you want to believe his words, your insecurities prevail, until eventually you find an agreement that you can at least come ask him about stuff if you feel unsure about something so he could give you a verbal explanation
and you take him up on that offer pretty soon, simply because youâre curious kasjflkasdj
so when one day you ask him out of the blue whether guys prefer getting handjobs or blowjobs heâs a blushing mess first of all
âW-well, it depends on the guyâŚ?â - so you ask him what he prefers and now heâs visibly uncomfortable
but he figures youâre just curious, so he tells you about how both is nice, it really depends on his mood, but he probably prefers a simple handjob most of the time
he loosens up a bit eventually, and as you continue talking about the topic and you ask him all kinds of questions, neither of you can deny that itâs affecting you
except nothing really happens afterwards, because you know he wouldnât want to overstep that boundary
itâs only until a little later, when youâre both drunk at a party and he suddenly pulls you aside to tell you that he hasnât been able to think about anything but what it would be like to have sex with you
and well, you pressing your body up against his does nothing to deflate that situation, and so you disappear in the nearest room where itâs just the two of you, and in no time clothes are flying off and your hands are all over each other
but despite the desperation that the both of you are feeling, heâs still careful with you, taking the lead as you spend the rest of the night fucking in that room
Yeosang:
he has no idea how to react when you ask him to teach you how to fuck, so itâs just awkward silence for a few moments
until he offers to treat you to a few hours with a sex worker instead ksajdflkjs
and well, thatâs not exactly what you had in mind, because the point of you asking him was that heâs someone whoâs known you for a long time and who knows you well
âAhhh, I see⌠then sorry that I canât be who you want me to be, but no.â (why does he have to say it so dramatically fksdjkfas)
youâre of course a bit disappointed, but itâs not like you donât understand him - not everyone would want to cross that line with a friend - so you leave it at that for now
until one evening youâre together at your place, and you can tell somethingâs off about him - he seems fidgety and like heâs anxious about something, so eventually you decide to ask whatâs up
and he doesnât really want to give you an answer at first, but eventually he manages to force out an explanation
âJust⌠what you said to me a few days ago⌠I thought about it again⌠and maybe we can try it after all?â - you two talk a lot so it takes you a while to understand what heâs hinting at, but once you do, youâre immediately by his side
you reach for his hand as youâre sitting side by side, and somehow both your nerves are making it hard to do anything
âS-so⌠how do we start? Do we kiss?â he asks, and you agree that that might be a good idea, and weirdly enough as soon as your lips meet his and you fall into an unhurried pace, both your anxieties seem to be washed away
you get into his lap, and somehow you both just end up following your instincts, only breaking the kiss to tell each other what feels good, and then eventually in order to moan at the way you dry humping him is about to get the both of you off
youâre taking this very slow, but it becomes a regular thing for you to meet up in order to have sex from then on, both exploring and learning about each otherâs body as you go
San:
another one who feels very conflicted the first time you bring it up to him
he doesnât think mere friends should be doing this kind of thing with each other, but at the same time he canât say he isnât tempted
he says no at first, but the days after he just canât stop thinking about you naked, on top of him, underneath him, you name it
until these thoughts start to haunt him in his dreams too, and he knows he canât possibly be normal around you anymore if he doesnât do anything about this
so he decides to help you out after all, under the premise that you wonât have any actual intercourse
instead, he teaches you how he likes to be touched with hands only, and eventually he also lets you suck him off
tells you exactly what to do that would drive any guy insane, gives you advice in between moans and at some point he will start rambling, until his high is coming so close that his train of thought just cuts off
and once he sees the state he put you in after cumming in your mouth - your glazed over eyes, his seed dripping down your lips before you lick it all up and swallow - he just canât help himself anymore
âShit, Y/N, let me fuck you, please,â he mutters, desperation in his voice
and as soon as you give him the okay this guy will be all over you, being rougher than youâd have expected him to be, fucking you as heâs led only by his instincts and his need to feel the warmth of being inside you
Mingi:
heâs another one who isnât opposed to having sex with a good friend
actually, he feels a weird sense of relief when you ask him if you could practice with him, because he feels very comfortable with you and so he knows he too will be able to let go quickly
you start slow anyway, because he doesnât want to overwhelm you - seeing how you donât have much experience yet - and so heâs even more surprised when you reach for his dick pretty quickly
you ask if what youâre doing is good, and as youâre giving him a few strokes this guy is hard in no time
will put his hand onto yours to guide you into the pace he likes, but very soon heâll simply leave it up to you, wanting to know exactly what you would do to him if he doesnât interfere
and soon enough his sanity will start to slip away, and when he starts bucking his hips into your hand the dynamic shifts ever so slightly, because suddenly you donât seem so inexperienced anymore at all as you dare to tease him about how needy he is
lets you make him cum onto his stomach, before you call it quits for the day, but youâll be sure to come back for more soon
heâll let you get him off in all kinds of ways, until eventually you two start experimenting with anything and everything youâre curious about, all under the premise of âpracticeâ
and soon he too will feel the need to return the favour and get you off too, learning all about how your body reacts to his touch, and figuring out together what feels best for you
youâre gonna spend whole weekends at his place just fucking, and in no time you basically know each otherâs bodies like the back of your own hand
and itâs more than likely that in the process this guy actually falls in love with you, and even though itâs still a whiiiile until he actually finds the courage to tell you that, he will make damn sure you wonât even think about wandering off to someone else
âYouâre mine, Y/N,â - the words will repeatedly slip past his lips as heâs fucking you, and surely enough they do something to you too
Wooyoung:
you two tend to be very touchy to begin with - even though youâre definitely not in love he gives you kisses on the cheeks or your neck all the time, and when youâre having a sleepover you can be sure it will include a good amount of cuddling
so when one day heâs spooning you, focused on drawing random patterns on the skin on your arm, and you tell him that youâve been thinking whether he would be okay with showing you how to properly please a guy he isnât put off by the idea at all - though he is a little surprised, both because he was of the impression you had a lot more experience than you do, and because he didnât think youâd ever consider him the right person to come to with a favour like this (like????? who else would be a better person??????)
and this guy is so gentle and respectful with you - heâll ask exactly what you want him to show you, what you want him to do, will ask before whatever he does whether youâre okay with it or not,...
you just end up having really sweet sex as you help each other out of your clothes and you both get a little distracted worshipping each otherâs body
there will be a lot of giggling as you slowly figure out what the other likes and what not, until you end up flat on your back, with his head between your legs, and suddenly all that light-hearted curiousity turns into a deep passion
he eats you out and makes you cum on his tongue multiple times, eager to please you and to see how many more of those sinful moans and whimpers he can draw out of you
until finally you grab him by the hair and pull him away so he would give you a break to catch your breath and to remind him that he was supposed to teach you how to do this stuff
âYou asked me how to please a guy,â he replies. âThis is how you please this guy right here.â - at this point he is absolutely pussy drunk, thereâs no going back for him
will offer to get you off every single time you have a sleepover from now on (and mysteriously the amount of sleepovers you have is suddenly increasing drastically), but he will also exert some amount of self control beforehand and let you get him off too, before he makes you feel good
Jongho:
the first time you very awkwardly hint at him that youâve been wondering if heâd be willing to teach you how to fuck he simply laughs
until he realizes you werenât joking
panics internally as all the times heâs gotten off while thinking of you flash him by and he somehow manages to tell you that youâre just friends and you should really reconsider this!!!
he never actually gives you a proper answer on that day, and neither of you bring it up until like two weeks later
youâre both chilling with your phones in your hands, having made yourselves comfortable on his bed as you often do when youâre at his place, when he suddenly speaks up
âSo⌠do you still want me to⌠teach you a few things?â he asks, not taking his eyes off his phone, and you can feel the nervousness radiating off of him - but as soon as you say yes that mood instantly gets replaced with confidence
âThen come here.â - he goes slow to figure out what youâre okay with and what not, but when you throw your arms around him once he starts scattering kisses in your neck as he hovers above you, he knows he canât hold back anymore
gets you off with his hand first, before he guides yours to his cock and shows you exactly how he wants you to return the favour
âWanna go all the way? Cause Iâve been thinking about thisâŚâ he admits, and when you say yes he doesnât spare you any details
tells you about what he wants to do to you, and lets you decide which of his fantasies you want to recreate, until you end up in all kinds of positions, having him fucking one orgasm after the other out of you, until it becomes clear youâre getting tired and you really canât take any more
youâre both very awkward after this, to the point you act weird around each other even in front of your other friends, who start wondering whether you had a fight
but as things calm down between the two of you, you meet up again at his place
you decided prior to that that what happened several days ago was a one time thing, and you wouldnât do it again
or so you thought, because as soon as you find yourselves side by side on his bed again, neither of you can deny that the only thing youâre thinking about is continuing where you had left off last time
#ateez smut#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#hongjoong smut#seonghwa smut#yunho smut#yeosang smut#san smut#mingi smut#wooyoung smut#jongho smut#ateez x reader#ateez drabbles#ateez hard thoughts#smut
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earth 42 miles reaction to reader hanging up the phone on his face mid argument?
â facetime
pairing: e-42!miles (aged up) x fem!reader
contains: arguing, minimal cursing, slightly toxic behavior lol
summary: you love miles, but his overbearing nature is beginning to irritate you. the two of you get into an argument over it on facetime, and you snap at him and hang up the phone. wc: 1,537
a/n: ik the pic might not make sense regarding who hung up on who, but i like it so we finna pretend it does lol. miles/reader are only aged up for plot
âlook mami, you not hearinâ me. iâm not tryna control you, iâm just saying maybe it would be best if-â
âthat is literally you trying to control me.â
you cut miles off from another one of his mini tangents as you stared at him through the facetime call on your screen, so far beyond the point of caring to hear the same thing heâd told you a million times.
you loved your boyfriend with everything in you. honestly, you did. but in the last few months heâd grown to be so much more controlling than he was in the beginning, a result of his ridiculous need to protect you and itâs got your head spinning on your shoulders. you couldnât do anything without him looming over you, and youâre fed up. it was suffocating, and you needed him to know that you could handle yourself.
you heard his voice come in again from your phoneâs speakers.
âaight fine, if thatâs what you wanna think, then thatâs cool. but i donât want you going out that late, chiquita, simple. ainât no discussion.â
âalright, bro.â you sighed, and he tutted at you.
âiâm not your âbroâ. donât do that.â
while you knew your boyfriend only wanted the best for you, you didnât really understand the extent to all these rules heâd given you. like no going to the corner store at night, having to keep your location on at all times, or having to send a picture of yourself when youâd gotten back into the houseâ so he could really make sure it was actually you texting him from your phone.
since then, youâd deemed it safe to assume that he most likely had immense trust issues, and that was why he acted so strangely, because any other reason for this kind of behavior seemed ludicrous to you.
miles had yet to tell you he was the prowler, that certain people had bounties on his head, which included anyone who may be involved with him, anyone he holds close to him. he saw everything that went on in this cityâ when night had fallen and the streets became far too dangerous of a place for a defenseless girl like you to be out in them. you had no idea the kind of people he dealt with, the things heâd seen, the things he had to do. he just didnât want you to get hurt, but he wasnât the best at expressing the sincerity of his words, and they often came out too rough, too harsh. it was the best he could do, he was trying to communicate effectively, he really was. but time and time again youâd failed to try and understand his pleas past the words spoken to you; to actually listen to them, and comprehend them, and not just listen to respond.
so, being you, you retorted like the stubborn girl you always were. the stubborn girl heâd fallen so helplessly in love with and was only trying to protect with his entire being.
you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him in disbelief. âlook, you canât tell me what to do, miles. i can do what i want.â
he didnât hear anything that came from your mouth, because the expression on your face had completely distracted him from the conversation at hand.
âholâ on, did you just roll your eyes at me?â his brow raised, daring you to answer that question with anything but a ânoâ.
what you responded with wasnât necessarily a âyesâ per sĂŠ, but it definitely wasnât any better.
âoh, so you wanna control my face now, too? dictating what i do with my life or the shit i say isnât enough for you?â you challenged.
his head dipped back as he laughed, a deep, provoked laughâ though the both of you knew nothing was funny, and that this was always how he reacted before he actually got angry. laughing it off was a means for him to screw his head back on right, as if a warning to you to not push him too far, because anybody who spoke to him with this kind of gall just had to be joking.
he exhaled heavily, a hand scrubbing down his face.
âcanât lie, you talkinâ mad crazy right now, ma. i think you need to cool it with that.â he warned, corners of his lips turned into a forewarning leer. âima let that lilâ shit you just said slide, cause i love you, and ion wanna hurt your feelings, but we done talking about this.â he decided, leaning forward to prop his phone back up on his desk before scooping his playstation controller back up into his hands.
âand watch your mouth.â
chin retreating towards your chest, you were taken aback at how quickly he decided for the both of you that the conversation was over, as if you had to agree with him, as if things were decided simply because heâd said so. and somehow, you found it in all your unbridled nerve to make things worse.
âyeah, youâre right. we are.â
thumb pressing to the red X, you hung up the phone, leaving miles to gape at the black of his screen with shock etched into his features. he waited for you to call back and tell him it was an accident, and sat there for a minute, leg bouncing to maintain what little patience heâd managed to cling onto during this entire ordeal. he swallowed his pride and called you back, only for the screen to read âfacetime unavailableâ after just two rings. you declined it. squaring his jaw, he calmly nodded to himself, phone snatched up, jacket thrown on and controller tossed onto his bedâ game forgotten about.
âbet.â
____
you were fuming after youâd hung up the phone, steam probably wouldâve been puffing from your ears if something like that were possible outside of the cartoons. there was a tiny partâno, a huge part of you that knew you shouldnât have hung up on him like that; that regretted it. a part that knew milesâ was genuinely trying his best to speak to you calmly in the way heâd learned how, specifically for you, when calm was something he rarely ever felt. but you couldnât help your anger either, and figured a break from the conversation, and a shower to calm you down would do the both of you some good.
you sauntered out your bathroom after about twenty minutes, a towel tightly wrapped round your damp torso and a heavy, depleted exhale departing from your lungs.
you felt relaxed. the heat of the water had washed away most, if not all of your anger towards the situation and you sighed to yourself, ready to come back to the discussion with a level head, and to apologize to your boyfriend for snapping at him and ending the call so abruptly. it was rude of you, and honestly you hadnât thought it through until you had alreadyâ
âyou know, ion usually fuck with cats like that, cause yâall kinda freak me out. but you cool.â
the inner dialogue of your thoughts were cut off by a familiar voice, muffled through the shut door of your bedroom.
âwhat the fuckââ you hurriedly started towards the door, hand barely remaining on the doorknob for a second as you flung it open, to see none other than your boyfriend, miles, sat in your desk chair with your cat, bella, in his lap.
he was leaned back, his large green puffer jacket still on, legs spread in his grey sweats. he looked very comfortable for someone who had just broken into a home.
âhow the hell did you get into my house, miles?â
you stared at him unbelievingly, quickly shutting the door behind you. he was in no rush to lift his head to address you directly as he scratched the underside of bellaâs chin with his pointer finger.
âwindow. you should really lock that.â
âeven if i had, you wouldâve picked it.â you argued.
âtrue.â
his eyes eventually met yours, and they gave you a drawn out once over, gaze following the drops of water that rolled down your skin. there was a hint of a smirk on his lips, and he almost forgot what he came here for. almost.
you felt your face heat up, grip tightening over your bath towel as you shifted on your feet, suddenly feeling flustered from the boldness of his gaze. so he looked away.
âletâs hope that shower gave your mama some of her sense back, huh?â he dipped his head down to address your cat in a sweet voice, before gently lifting her off his lap and placing her back onto the floor, only for her to drag her head and body along his calf with a purr. traitor.
he leaned back once more, hands patiently clasped between his open legs and head cocked to the side, twin braids swishing behind him when he did so.
âso wassup? you wanna try that conversation again?â with a brow raised he studied your features, as if he were silently challenging you to talk that same shit you did over the phone to his face.
âdo you know what boundaries are?â
ânah, not really.â he admitted.
you swallowed, gesturing towards the open room for a reason you didnât know why.
âcan i at least get dressed first?â you cringed at how your voice sounded when you spoke, but the way he was looking at you had your mind reeling and you could only focus on one thing at a timeâ the argument long forgotten. to be honest, you donât even recall what you had a problem with.
he shrugged. âsure, if thatâs what youâd like.â arms crossing over his chest he spun around in your swivel chair, now facing the same window heâd come in through. âlemme know when i can turn around.â
you sighed.
this boy was going to be the death of you.
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