#but now i drive everywhere

[persaephone]

xxx

[yrsonpurpose]

alex ± always needing to touch henry

[rhymeswithumbrella]

you know what really pisses me off? so many people acting like he is the worst person out there and no one will miss him. A LOT of people are grieving now and missing him including people that these people supposedly follow and care about. liam was not the supervillain people wanted him to be. he was messed up and did messed up things likely because of what happened to him. this conversation deserves so much more nuance than people are giving it. and maybe it’s too early to have this conversation now but it’s helping me process and grieve so i’m really writing this for me. people are complex and doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person or someone worthy of death without being given the chance to make things right. and another thing, it is SO hypocritical to make fun of him and look down on him like he’s the ultimate Bad Guy meanwhile i bet every single person you have ever admired in the spotlight has likely also done bad things or at least things you wouldn’t be proud of. fame is an illness and it can cause people to harm others because they were hurt themselves. human beings are a culmination of everything that they’ve been through and everything they’ve done. he is not only the bad things he’s done and it’s okay and normal to grieve him as a whole person, because he was one.

[here-comes-the-moose]

When I’m writing my Modern AU but then try to figure out and calculate how the life I gave the Batch is financially possible:

[yuwuta]

I LOVE UR BRAIN SO BAD 😭😭😭 YOU ALWAYS POST THEBBEST HEADCANONS AND THOUGHTS LIKE. WORK HUSBAND GOJO. AND JUST HAVING A WHOLE IMAGINATION OF THE OFFICE W NANAMI AND HIGURUMA AND TOJI I?????? I WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN

TEEHEEEE you’re so sweet <33333 the work husband to actual husband to househusband gojo pipeline is so so real to me and the office au that comes with it truly does take up space in my brain, so here’s some more loosely established points 

satoru has been your work husband since you got your first job in undergrad. you two met in your dorms, and became friends, and eventually you thought a job would help with your time management skills, so you got a very low-maintenance position at the front desk of the library. satoru applied right after you and schmoozed the two little old librarians into giving him the same shifts as you. that was probably the first moment satoru knew he was a little bit in love with you—because he had no reason to have a job while in school, but this small change in your schedule made him miss you so much that he was moved to get his very first job, probably ever, just to spend more time with you. 

he wasn’t bad at his library receptionist job, but he technically wasn’t good at it, either. if a student asked him for a laptop charger or to check out a book or something, he could do that, but anything else he’d just smile and say, “oh, you’ve gotta ask the pretty girl right there about that, she knows way more than me,” and bat his eyelashes at you. except, then, when you did need to get up to grab something for someone, satoru would just spring up instead, and tell you he’s got it. it’s like… he was incapable of helping anybody else unless he got to flirt with you, and then help you out to help them out……… strange boy 

anyways, satoru makes it a habit to assist you through your student jobs throughout undergrad, and then follows you to the same law school and repeats the process there. (also not to elle woods-ify him a bit but his father heavily questions him going to law school btw because satoru has never showed any interest in working, let alone following in his footsteps to be a lawyer, and now he’s going to law school? his mom is a bit sharper though, because when satoru tells his parents he’s going to the same law school as you, she just smiles and sips her tea and wonders if her son has already made a trip to their family jeweler). 

the firm is large, but the floor you work on is a pretty close knit group. there’s hiromi’s office at the tail end, which is the largest because he’s managing partner and he practically lives in there. on the other end, both you and nanami have decently sized offices. satoru doesn’t like hiromi at first because he thinks he’s mean. then satoru watches him play a little prank on kento, and suddenly the two of them are best friends. it would be a surprisingly wholesome friendship if their common denominator wasn’t irritating kento, and acting as guard dogs for you. 

kento’s office used to be just the bare necessities—law books, his degree, basic furniture, maybe a fancy paperweight, until satoru got his hands on it and decked it out. which is not something kento asked for, nor he thinks is necessary, but that doesn’t stop satoru from continually adding little trinkets and decorations and art to his office to make it livelier. when kento first meets you, he’s surprised when you tell him satoru gojo is going to be your secretary because kento interned for satoru’s father for two summers during law school, but when kento sees you and satoru together for the first time, it answers all of his questions. satoru couldn’t be more of a lovesick fool if he tried. 

listen the ex-convict to single father to janitor to lawyer toji pipeline is so real to me. while toji is working as a janitor at the firm, satoru slips once and then jokes that toji shines the floors too aggressively on purpose to make him slip, toji tells him to fuck off and he can sue for harassment. they truly don’t like each other at first, but once satoru steals toji’s masterkey to get into your office one night after you’re gone to leave flowers, and handle some paperwork to lighten your load in the morning, toji is sort of impressed. he still almost hits him with a broomstick, but even someone as gruff as him can see that satoru had pure intentions. toji is a lot of things, but he’s not immune to or devoid of love or passion. so, eventually he and satoru develop a weird sort of banter and respect for each other. one day someone actually tries to accuse toji of not putting the wet floor sign down and how it’s gonna be a lawsuit because some lowlife janitor fucked up his $3000 suit. satoru catches the argument as he’s heading upstairs and recognized the schmuck as the stuck up lawyer on the other side of kento’s case. satoru’s ready to jump in, but toji’s displaying an impressive amount of physical restraint and legal knowledge that when the dust is all settled, satoru asks him if he ever considered being a lawyer. toji laughs at it at first, but after a month of serious consideration (and megumi becoming a college freshman), he figures it can’t be all that bad. and turns out, toji’s a half-decent lawyer—once you’ve spent so much of your life skirting (or blatantly breaking) the law, you become pretty good at getting people out or around it, too. and with his life experience, he’s a pretty good judge of character; so when it comes time to lock up the bad ones, toji makes sure they get the maximum sentence.

except he has a bad habit of sending out emails with “URGENT: NEEDS ATTN” in the subject, which prompts you, kento, and hiromi to rush to his office, just to see toji with his feet up on his desk tell you that, “the emergency is i hate the opposing counsel, and now that i work on this side of the law i’d really like to not kill him, so somebody else should take this case.” 

anyways back to work husband secretary satoru. he pulls you out of boring meetings under the guise of an urgency, just for him to admit that the emergency is that he missed you, and you two were gonna be late for your lunch reservation. because he’s actually a licensed attorney, he can actually carry out duties an associate otherwise would, which saves you a lot of time and trouble; and it means that satoru gets to work even more closely with you, which is always an upside for him. sometimes you ask him to hand you documents and instead he just hands you his hand. and then pretends to blush and preen like a schoolgirl which always draws way too much attention to the two of you, but there’s no way to stop him either. he takes your coat off of your shoulders when you arrive in the morning, and helps you put it back on in the evening. when you tell him you’re looking for an apartment closer to the firm, he has eight places lined up for viewing, and one surprise at the end which happens to be the other vacant penthouse suite in his apartment building; which, conveniently, would make you satoru’s neighbor. he claims that it’ll be just like in college, but it certainly doesn’t feel that way when you finally move in and satoru can now loudly and proudly proclaim, “see you at home!” in the halls at work now. 

[jonasiegenthaler]

natejo secret satan for @stromesquad <3

[shiresome]

And goodnight to you ........ Superman and Lobo drawing I will never finish ......................

no genuinely. why did he Do That

[clover0101]

haruka and what each animal on his case represents, an analysis

before we begin, general CW for the issues haruka's story deals with (neglect, child abuse, animal death, etc).

Throughout the MVs, animals play an important role in Haruka's story. I think each of these represents a part of Haruka, both how he perceives himself and how he wants to be perceived. Even if Haruka presumably has numerous animal victims, the ones most emphasized are dogs, fish, and rabbits.

1. RABBITS

Haruka is seen on many occasions with his bunny plush. It’s so important that it appears not only in Weakness and Undercover but also in graffart’s collab, where each item is importan on the character's story in one way or another (like mahiru and the mantis). I see it as a toy from his childhood that he’s very attached to.

The fact that it’s specifically a rabbit is interesting to me, as the rabbit is a prey. If we go to the unique point of view of Japanese culture, rabbits are also quite related to the moon. The lunar cycles are also an important symbol in weakness, showing white, blue and finally red moons over a red sky. The origin of the relationship between rabbits and the moon is debated between admiration as they are perceived as objects of fertility and health because of their reproduction, or a legend that spread from India:

"a rabbit can't tolerate seeing people die and jumps into the fire to become food, then Indra rewards him for his sacrifice and takes him to the moon."

The theme of self sacrifice and the ultimate reward one receives for it is reinforced by Taoism, where the hare, like the moon, dies to be reborn and represents immortality. More popularly, rabbits are also associated with good fortune. It being white also points to innocence, and in turn to the pursuit of something that upon attainment brings discovery, an idea popularized by Alice in Wonderland. Even if it's more seen as a weak and tender animal, it has also been culturally represented as cruel and capable of aggression, closer to what Haruka is than the role of merely a prey. Haruka wants to be seen as weak prey that the strong hunt, to be pitied and loved for it. To be perceived as someone to be protected, as he cannot defend himself, but this is contradicted by his own actions both in weakness and throughout milgram. The prey becomes the predator and gives way to the next animal;

2. DOGS

The dog is universally a symbol of loyalty and the effort it takes to form a training bond between a wild animal and a human. Dogs are seen accompanying men and being obedient to women.

Dogs are perceived as creatures that love unconditionally and are capable of giving everything to protect those they love.

In terms of personality and behavior, they are the closest animals to Haruka, who accepts and actively seeks to be guided and to be faithful for someone, to be used to feel useful and not abandoned.

Even if they are domestic, the dogs whose breeds are distinguishable are large dogs, considered to be hunting dogs. Haruka being represented as a dog also creates a parallel with kotoko, who is represented by a wolf.

Haruka being represented as a dog also creates a parallel with kotoko, who is represented by a wolf. Dogs are the friendlier, "clean" version of wolves, domesticated to be obedient, while wolves maintain a certain solitary air of independence and savagery.

However, whenever a dog is featured on screen it is accompanied by loud instrumentals and rather graphic visuals. In Weakness, child Haruka accepts and expresses affection towards the animal, who apparently is suddenly injured and runs away from him into a forest, where he is disoriented and confused. Haruka follows its footsteps and ends up seeing his hands in horror, realizing that he's the cause of its injury.

The perspective of present Haruka isn't so different, who now attacks it, destroying it until the only remains are the necklace it was wearing, ultramarine liquid and eyes, which I consider represent the opinions of others and looks that judge him.

I think the fact that this dog bleeds the same color as Haruka's is a not-so-hidden hint at the fact that, in a way, Haruka is ending up with a part of himself (this time a bit smaller, not being human yet) to escape people's judgments.

There are also many sayings that by mistreating someone, "you are treating them like a dog", like an animal, something inferior, but that still sticks to what the human wants and believing all their words.

In AKAA, we see that instead of being a mix of at least two dogs, they're now separate entities and different breeds that dissolve as Haruka sings about being reborn. Again, dogs often appear in stories as spirit guides, helping humans enter and exit the realm of the dead safely, representing a middle ground between life and death. Dogs are followers of their owners, not leaders, and no matter how close a bond they form with humans, they are rarely recognized as equals to us.

3. FISH

Most of the similarities between Haruka and fish are presented visually, with Haruka being a passive spectator of his own life, observing others from behind something akin to a glass wall that separates him from normal people. He's constantly surrounded by water drowning, and in one scene is even presented at a fish-eye angle, being watched by his mother.

In AKAA we can see two specific species of fish.

Yellow bobfish: they're very complicated fish to keep in aquariums because they release toxins when stressed and are naturally solitary once they reach adulthood, it's not recommended to have more than two in the same tank because they are territorial and aggressive among their own species, however it's friendly and sociable with fish of other species. It responds to stress with aggression and attacks its own kind (in this case other weaklings) just like Haruka.

Clownfish: they usually inhabit anemones, forming a mutualism in which they find shelter and food. Toxins from anemones don't affect them as they develop immunity to them throughout their lives to eventually live in them. Anemones benefit from clownfishes cleaning its tentacles. Clownfish often eat parasites and are also known to steal more food from anemones than what they give in return. They are also capable of changing sex from male to female. Seeing this particular species depicted tells us a lot not only about haruka, but about his relationship with Muu, as for the first time it's not depicted as a mutual need, a codependency that endangers their lives if they become separated, but a mutually beneficial relationship where both can exist separately, but live much more comfortably by relating to each other in this way.

Extra: Insects (specifically butterflies) and parasites.

The symbolism of transformation and metamorphosis is so present that it even took the title of both voice dramas. Caterpillars can only wriggle and are no different from any worthless worm, but after a season, they manage to transform into a butterfly: beautiful, admirable, much more memorable and lovable. Having been forgiven and meeting Muu, Haruka manages to "fulfill" his metamorphosis and become someone he believes is better. Still, from what is shown in AKAA, it doesn't seem that Haruka is entirely happy with this change happening - the monarch butterflies represents ambition and perseverance, but it seems to be rejected by haruka, who crushes it in his hands

Haruka longs for this transformation, but is unable to fully accept it happening. I think it's because no matter how much he changes and wants to be someone else, he can't get rid of the disastrous image he has of himself, or he has forced himself not to change so as not to be disliked even more by others.

Now, Kotoko is an important figure to Haruka despite not interacting much. It highlights both his codependency (or mutually beneficial relationship) with Muu as much as the fact that he assimilates a parasite.

This is a point I've made several times before, but Haruka's way of socializing is based on taking parts of others and melding them on himself, especially women. It started by stealing his mother's necklace and taking it as his own, continues by killing Mirai and stealing what he lacks, and ends now in a much more obvious way with Muu, imitating her personality, accepting her accessories and the clothes she chooses for him and even copying her sprite pose a bit.

If he had become closer to Yuno and Mahiru, I'm sure he would also start imitating their behaviors in one way or another. Haruka lives by taking parts of the women he surrounds herself with, and he seems to want to take something from kotoko as well, but it's still unclear what he wants.

What does all of this have in common?

Not only is the theme of change and rebirth prominent, but every animal that Haruka comes to hurt relates in one way or another to his desires, thoughts, or parts of himself. Figuratively, we can say that Haruka's case is about him eliminating and hiding every part of himself, until he murders his human victim, Mirai, who at the same time is the closest and most prominent part in him, with whom he wishes he could reconcile and exist together, accepting each other - for, unlike his other victims, Mirai is often presented as a friend and someone Haruka misses. I have yet to write Mirai's analysis on its own, so whether she is also a part of Haruka or not and whether all his kills are figurative is up to each one's choice, I tend to wander between both sides because I like both scenarios. In a less figurative way and taking the case more literally, these facts are simple trivia and interesting symbolism to consider when analyzing Haruka.

[himbohimhoe]

Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.

[blackkatdraws]

I am beyond salvation. Don't save me ♡

[seiwas]

iwaizumi tells you that if those barbell hip thrusts aren’t making your legs shake the same way he does, then you aren’t doing it right 😔

[eddis-not-eeddis]

I am the most hopeful of pessimists

[jakeperalta]

on my knees crying and begging for the uk railways to be renationalised... I can't keep living like this.......

[laundrybiscuits]

So I was playing around with an expanded version of this wlw vamp!Eddie snippet (tentatively titled heard you like magic) for Monsterfucker May because, well, 1) it’s pretty good incentive to write something I’d been thinking about anyway 2) I am procrastinating on a fuckton of work right now.

Anyway, I started jotting down some thoughts that wound up being practically a whole-ass essay, and the expanded fic definitely isn’t going to be posted before tomorrow, so…I thought I might as well post this. It’s not very exciting; it's about 1300 words of me ruminating on the worldbuilding/character decisions I’ve been making about adapting Steve’s gender. 

The heard you like magic fic is really just me sort of iterating on the loose sketch of cisgirl!Steve I started noodling around with in feel how you fit around me. Obviously it’s not the same timeline at all; I hadn’t really thought through this AU very much, since it was spontaneously birthed from skimming the lyrics to “Red Wine Supernova” and getting inappropriately stuck on “her canine teeth in the side of my neck” but I’m using it to play with similar ideas. 

I do think a very similar story to canon could have been created with cisgirl!Steve. (If female!Steve is trans, the timelines get a little complicated and there’s literally no way she could have socially transitioned and achieved an unquestioned popularity in the 80s. It could be a good and interesting story, but it would have fundamentally different beats.) Canon!Steve’s initial thematic/narrative function as the hot, popular boyfriend who embodies normality and social acceptance (at a cost) within the context of high-school-drama-turned-supernatural-horror could absolutely have worked with some of the genders shuffled; admittedly, it would likely have been received by audiences very differently. But from a purely thematic/structural perspective, yeah, I think the same story could have been told. 

So the specific question I’m poking at here is: what does that Steve look like, if his largely unquestioned shifting relationship to masculinity becomes a largely unquestioned shifting relationship to femininity? Part of what makes him such an interesting character is how he navigates taking on a babysitter/caretaker role within the group, because that runs counter to his gendered expectations about who he is and what he’s good at. For a teenage girl, though, “babysitter/caretaker” is a pretty conventional role. 

I’ve thought a lot about approaching this as “What would have to change to make female!Steve commercially viable?” Honestly, I do think the production machine would probably have killed her off as planned; she’d be too unlikeable. She’s hot and bitchy in a way that is simply unforgiveable in an 80s-inflected horror narrative. 

But what if they didn’t, though? What’s the minimum amount of change needed to make Stephanie Harrington work in the story and world of Stranger Things?

If we’re cleaving as closely as possible to canon’s themes and structure, Nancy has to be male. Their relationship needs to represent convention and safety, because Nancy’s journey is partly about her inability to let things lie. For better and for worse, she’s not the kind of person who can pretend that everything’s okay when it’s not, and Steve exists to be the temptingly normative option. 

Jonathan Byers is basically already Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club, so that’s straightforward enough: he’s a trope of the artsy “unsafe” alternative, the one Nancy’s parents wouldn’t approve of, but the one who understands and enables her rejection of easy answers. If we’re not concerning ourselves with marketing decisions, he could still be male and fit the same thematic role in M!Nancy’s arc, but that would change Steve’s journey pretty significantly. 

I think it could still be a good story! There’s a lot of potential there. But if we want to keep Steve’s confrontation with Jonathan as a turning point for his character, it just works much better if Jonathan’s a conventional rival. The dynamics also play out pretty differently if M!Jonathan gets in a physical fight with F!Steve—it’s hard to imagine any version of Nancy being super chill about that. F!Steve is also slightly less likely to default to that kind of physical confrontation as socially acceptable/expected, although I could definitely see it similarly escalating to physical violence with F!Jonathan. 

The Stobin dynamic more or less works with the genders exchanged. This is pre-Will and Grace; the concept of a “fag hag” existed but was not nearly as mainstream as it would become in a decade or two, so there wouldn't necessarily be a lot of expectations or models of what their relationship should look like. One minor shift: the public imagination had a much more specific concept of what gay men looked and acted like than it did for lesbians, so Steve would probably be a little more resistant and/or take a little longer to get it. 

The Party can still keep their canon genders; I don’t think that would affect the older teens too much. It might shift the dynamic of Dustin seeing Steve as a role model, but I think that’s a sufficiently indirect/unstated part of their relationship that it could translate reasonably well. I do think Dustin might get a highly embarrassing and often-denied crush on female!Steve, but he absolutely would not admit it. 

Max would probably be a little closer to F!Steve, since she’d have a bit less older-brother baggage, and less drawn to M!Nancy. Mike would hate F!Steve exactly the same amount, and neither Lucas nor Will seem to be that invested in canon!Steve anyway. 

More generally, though, I don’t see F!Steve as taking refuge in “at least I’m a good babysitter,” because to some extent that would be expected. F!Steve probably didn’t babysit for spending money as a younger teen, but it wouldn’t be out of the question. I really cannot stress enough how much growing up in small-town midwest USA pre-Y2K was oriented towards training young girls for motherhood. They got explicit and implicit instructions that young boys simply did not.

I’m not completely convinced that F!Steve would be as inclined towards a big family as canon!Steve, either. For Steve, whose familial model is an almost wholly absent father, a big family is part of the fantasy of belonging. While I do tend to read him as having honest intentions about pulling his weight, he doesn’t have a very practical understanding of what childrearing is like, and anything he does above the bare minimum is going to be praised. F!Steve would be more keenly aware of the scrutiny she’d be under as a mother, as well as the sheer scale of labor involved. Also, she’d be much less likely to want to pop out six kiddos from her own uterus. The calculations are different.

I grew up in a very conservative area with girls whose primary worldly ambition was genuinely to become mothers. When we talked about “careers,” it was with the explicit understanding that it would be a side gig to help support their main role as a mother. Some of them do now literally have six children.

Steve does not strike me as that kind of person on a fundamental level. He has certain normative ideas about what family and relationships look like—his arc really is all about disrupting and complicating those ideas. In the context of F!Steve, though, I don’t think that thread of clinging to hegemonic norms would manifest in wanting a big family; it seems more likely to me that she’d have some vague ideas about two or three kids and a wealthy, attentive husband. 

I also don’t necessarily see her being quite as keen to lean into a tank role. The “woman warrior” trope was gearing up for the cresting wave of girl-power third-wave feminism in the 90s, but it wasn’t quite there yet—certainly not for someone whose narrative category is “the conventional one.” I actually think that could be a good angle for F!Steve’s development; while canon!Steve has his established/normative role as the tank to counter the subversive dynamics of his role as caretaker, F!Steve could potentially flip those: it’s not weird or unexpected for her to babysit, although she might be surprised by how well she does with Dustin, but translating her athletic ability to combat could propel her towards accepting that she might not be 100% conventional after all.

Anyway, I really need to stop thinking about this and get back to the core of this story, which is “what if vampire!Eddie wildly underestimated how much of a monsterfucker Stevie is, and also what if they were both girls”

[quietwingsinthesky]

you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.

[mewkwota]

(WIP) In case you needed proof I actually draw in pen.