#but nothing concrete has come out of it besides character designs and an ever changing outline

[eternal-reverie]

Hmm opening up like that on my last post is making the wheels in my head turn for ideas about my magical girl story

[one-boring-person]

Hiya! I had a Top Gun request! Could you maybe right something where the reader barely makes it back from a dangerous mission, and immediately she’s comforted by Ice, Mac, Goose, kind of all the guys when she gets back? Thank you so much!

Thank you for requesting, and I hope you like it!💛💛💛❤

(I've given the reader the call sign Strike, but if you want me to change it, I'm more than happy to do so😊💛)

That Was One Close Call.

Top Gun characters x reader

(Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider)

Warnings: violence, in-flight combat

Masterlist

"Can anyone actually see these bogeys yet?" Slider questions through the mics, voice sounding bored, though there is a distinct undertone of confusion running through it.

One by one, the rest of us, Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Arrow (my RIO) and I, deny having seen any other jets in the area, all of us flying in formation as we head to the designated area, eyeing the clear expanse of sky suspiciously as we go, making sure to pick up on any movement at all. Currently, after a good twenty minutes of flying, we've had no sightings, picking nothing up on the radars, our RIOs not spitting anything amiss in the skies around us, our actions now cautious rather than confident. Nerves race through my veins, a feeling I haven't had in months, my fingers tightening minutely around the joystick in my grasp, the jet adjusting in the air accordingly as I accidentally steer it into a different path, sweat coating my brow thanks to the sweltering confines of the cockpit, my breaths short and fast in my mouthpiece.

Just as I go to talk again, a sharp beep interrupts me, my radar having finally picked up on something, a small green dot appearing on the screen, moving rapidly towards us.

"You guys seeing this?" Maverick inquires, having clearly seen the same thing I have.

"Yeah, we got a mig on our six, moving very quickly. They're nearly o-" I go to reply only to cut off abruptly when the controls in front of me start going off, signifying that I'm under missile lock, and in great danger, the jet having closed in on us much faster than we thought it would.

"Get us out of here, Strike! They're right behind us!" Arrow speaks up, voice shrill with fear as the hulking shapes of the enemy jets drop from the sky behind us: eight much faster, more manouverable aircrafts with a higher firepower than ours, putting us at a severe disadvantage.

"I'm trying!" I bite back, annoyed that he didn't spot the bogeys on our tail sooner, having now put us in jeopardy. Gritting my teeth against the pressure forcing us into our seats, I sharply pull our jet around into a tight banking motion, inadvertently putting it into a dizzying barrel roll as I go, aiming to get out of range of their missiles, only to start in surprise and shock when gunfire suddenly pelts the side of plane. Instantly, the left engine starts smoking, the controls going crazy before me, Arrow panickedly contacting with the others, radioing for help from the carrier. Adrenaline starts to kick in, suppressing the terror and panic flooding my mind, prompting me to switch off the affected engine, knowing it will slow us down, but will also prevent us from blowing up too soon, swiftly dragging the hindered aircraft into a tight ascent, praying that I'll make it past them before they can react to me, though I know it's futile.

Yet more gunfire tears into the metal of the exterior of the jet, Arrow's only reaction now being to yell for help, helmet banging against the glass as he looks up to check the damage.

"They hit the canopy! We won't last much longer at this rate!" From my place ahead of him, I can tell he's shifting around very quickly, trying his best to gauge where the bogeys are, though he is struggling considerably, what with the migs flying at a mug faster speed, diving in and out of view, "Maverick, Iceman, where are you?!"

"They're keeping us away from you! We can't get any closer without being shot!" Goose calls back, clearly frustrated.

"Same here. Until we can get past, you're on your own." Iceman agrees grimly, the pilot sounding angry at this turn of events.

"I don't know how long we'll last like this!" I manage out as I drop the nose of the jet into a sudden dive, falling past a few of the attacking bogeys as I go, only to suddenly realise that the right engine has also been hit, the flames petering out. At this revelation, panic explodes within me, my hands instantly pulling at the joystick, trying to flick on the emergency engines to stop us from plummeting to our deaths.

Our speed continues to increase, the jet dropping faster and faster as the sea grows ever closer, Arrow screaming at me to pull up, the aircraft unwilling to shift into a more level track as the momentum carries us down. Unable to think of anything better, I slam on the air brakes, jerking the joystick around to the left, yelping as I'm thrown against the side of my seat. Responding to my actions, the aircraft rolls ungracefully into an untidy barrel roll, the world spinning before our eyes as we finally level out again, the right engine finally giving out completely as we continue to glide along the now ridiculously close ocean. Nausea rises up my throat, but it is overwhelmed by the brief sense of relief, my mood instantly dampened again as the emergency lights continue to blare loudly, notifying me of the imminent danger I'm in. The sound of Slider's voice over the mics cuts through suddenly, though I barely register what is being said due to my concentration being entirely in trying not to lose more altitude.

"We got one down, wait, no, two down!" The RIO informs us, grateful to be the bearer of good news.

Shaken, I don't manage a reply, my focus now completely on the fact that there is a bogey swiftly catching up to us, missiles ready to be released.

"We got our two down, too." Maverick reports, Goose assenting this seconds later.

"We need help!" Arrow finally speaks up, having noticed that I am apparently incapable of saying anything.

"We're on our way!" The others respond, only too happy to help.

Another, more shrill alarm starts ringing in my ears, the tone dreadfully familiar: we're running out of fuel.

"Guys, we're in serious trouble here, we've got to get back soon!" Arrow informs the others, having noticed the same thing as me, checking the gauge with apprehension.

My pulse pounds in my ears, creating a white noise I can barely hear over, dark spots starting to dance at the edge of my vision as I realise the gravity of the situation, tremors going up and down my body as it struggles to remain upright, fingers locked tightly around the joystick.

"...we got another two down, the rest are going home. We need to get back now!" A voice somewhere says, but I don't quite register it, only just managing to keep the jet above the sea line now.

It's only when Arrow places a hand on my shoulder that I snap out of my reverie, instinctually pulling the jet up again, using an uplifting air current to lift us a little higher, back into the safe zone. Wordlessly, I guide the aircraft back to the carrier, only just grazing the runway as I land it, the wires thankfully catching us as we threaten to hurtle over the edge again. I taxi the jet into a stationary position, hands still shaking as I try to unclasp the canopy, fingers fumbling with the security measures, the broken window sliding back as I finally manage it, my body heaving itself out of the cockpit and onto the runway. Once on solid ground (ish) I make it all of three steps, before I collapse to my knees, Arrow instantly at my side.

"Strike? Are you ok? (Y/n)?" The RIO interrogates me, crouching beside me, arm around my shoulders.

"What happened?! " Maverick's concerned voice is loud in my ears as he, Goose, Ice and Slider all rush over, the rest of them having noticed my residence on the floor. Immediately, the four of them are on the floor around me, helmets discarded on the concrete behind them as they start fussing over me. I feel my helmet being taken off, my body being pulled into a larger, more muscular one, the smell of peppermint and sweat clearly belonging to Iceman, a scent which had always made me feel safe, his arms cradling me against his chest as he strokes my back, trying to get a response out of me. When he pulls away, he looks me in the eye, at which point I finally lose it, tears flooding from the corners of my eyes, sobs wracking my body as I bury my face into my hands, barely noticing as Maverick moves closer, whispering sweet nothings as he rubs my back soothingly. Both Goose and Slider sit there a little awkwardly at first, before they swiftly move forwards to help, the former pushing my hair from my face as the latter takes my hand in his, neither of them saying anything, though they have ready smiles for me when I look up at them. When I catch sight of them, a small smile of my own pushes at my lips, the corners quirking up a little, the expression slowly growing as Goose grins at me in relief.

"There she is!" He comments, patting my knee appreciatively, eyes glittering happily.

"I'm gonna have to start calling you The Invincible One at this rate. That was one close call!" Slider jokes, trying to cheer me up with his usual brash humour.

"Suits you." Goose adds, nodding at me.

"No it doesn't." I manage to say, my voice hoarse and rough from my crying, still smiling at them.

"Are you joking? Of course it does!" Slider protests, grin broadening as I laugh. Maverick and Iceman exchange a glance over the top of my head, the former moving to stand up. Looking down at us, he offers me his hand with a smile of his own, easily pulling me up (even if it is with a bit of Iceman's help), steadying me against his chest.

"Come on, you'll feel better after a shower." He says to me, vending over to pick up our helmets from the floor, the others quickly moving to join us as we walk towards the changing rooms. As we walk, Slider wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his taller body a little, the sense of safety that accompanies this making me feel better about myself. By now, Arrow has already moved to the changing rooms, preferring to face difficulties alone, rather than with us, the RIO clearly trusting the others to do a good job of comforting me, which, of course, they have.

[cno-inbminor]

a/n: drabble dump time aka random stuff i just felt like writing! ft. spy!au, iwaizumi x fem!reader. all characters are aged up. 

warnings: description of an explosion, presumed reader death, unedited. mainly angst

It’s not often that Iwaizumi wakes up like this, drenched in sweat, chest heaving, and lungs screaming desperately for oxygen. Anyone can agree that it’s never fun to wake up to a damp pillowcase and sheets that stick to skin, yet here he was, experiencing just that. What pisses him off more than anything is the fact that he knows the exact reason why he’s been acting this way. He knows the reason and yet, he’s unable to do anything about it.

When he shuts his eyes again, the vivid nightmare plays on his eyelids like the screen of a movie theatre. His vision fights to discern details through the smoke and dust, his ears are ringing from the blast, his feet stumble over broken concrete and cobblestone, his hands tremble in their hold on his spare pistol; he’s searching, pleading to an unknown force, that you’re around here somewhere.

He brings on hand up to use the collar of his shirt as a temporary dust filter. His choice of weaponry has never felt so heavy before, but he was trained to fight against the strain and the odds. You always stand back up. When you have no choice but to run, run. This was one of those moments where he’d be advised to run.

“Damn it, where the fuck are you?” Iwaizumi curses to himself, trudging through the half-collapsed building to find any sign of you. You had been too many meters away from him and out of his sight when the blast happened. There was no way for him to determine just exactly where it had come from, especially when the licks of flames behind were only growing higher and higher towards the skies. He was on a countdown to find you and get you safely to the rendezvous point, something he never thought he’d have to worry about.

He decides to take his chances and yells out your name, his voice cracking and breaking as the dust scratches at his throat like nails on a chalkboard. Gritting through the pain, he calls out again, looking in every possible direction. The earpiece in his right ear comes alive, static crackling before a familiar voice comes through.

“—jime, can you hear me? Hajime?”

“Fuck, yeah, I’m here, Kenma,” he bites, eyes still flitting everywhere.

“Are you okay? Where’s (y/n)?”

“Really fucking beat up, and trying to find her right now. I can’t see shit though.”

“Tooru’s coming around to the rendezvous point in three minutes and you need to be there. Local police and firemen are already on their way, we have to get you out.”

“Can you locate her?”

“Signal’s lost. She was last seen on the north side of the building.”

“Well fuck,” Iwaizumi groans as he recalls the layout of the building in his mind. “That side’s entirely in flames, do you think…”

“She wouldn’t go down that easy. Two and a half minutes.”

“She has to be here somewhere,” Iwaizumi argues, tone becoming frantic. There’s nothing he can do but turn back towards the fire, desperate for any sort of clue. “(Y/n)! Are you there?”

He stumbles on the path once traveled, scouring the floor and in the rubble. Then his eyes catch a flash of rose gold, buried underneath fragments of brick and stone. His fingers and knees protest when he kneels down to push all of it aside, reaching to pick up the dust-covered chain. His heart sinks past his feet and into the earth beneath him when he gets a good look at the design.

In his hands is the very necklace he had gifted you months ago, one that you never took off, one that he had eyed and seen in many nights of passion, one that he had personally clasped underneath your hair. A thin rose gold chain holding a circular pendant of the same material, no larger than the size of your fingernail, with a small diamond suspended in the middle.

It can’t be.

“Hajime, ninety seconds. You need to get out of there.”

“But—”

“We’ll find her. You have to go.”

Iwaizumi takes one more look at the fires just a foot in front of him before standing back up and heading for the nearest exit. When he stumbles out, a sleek black vehicle pulls up and he wrenches open the passenger door. Not a second longer after his bottom hits the seat, Oikawa steps on the gas, the force aiding Iwaizumi in shutting the door. With deft skills and hands, his longtime friend secures an inconspicuous escape, merging onto the highway in the direction of their headquarter facilities.

Both ignore the incessant beeping from the car, the vehicle protesting the fact that Iwaizumi isn’t wearing his seatbelt. Oikawa only needs to take one look at the chain hanging from Iwaizumi’s fist to understand the situation, quickly letting Kenma know that the retrieval was a success and they were on their way back. His eyes take a glance in the rearview mirror to ensure no one is following them before addressing the elephant in the room.

“She probably made it out and went into hiding,” Tooru hypothesizes. “Maybe she left the necklace as a sign.”

“She better fucking have or she’ll never hear the end of it from me.”

“Must you be so harsh on your girlfriend, Iwa-chan?” He attempts to tease, but it falls flat. Iwaizumi lets out a staggered sigh and leans back against the seat, staring out the tinted window. His heart beats heavily against his ribcage, hoping that in the next few hours, you’ll securely contact them and let them know you’re safe and sound.

But night comes around and there’s no word from you. Iwaizumi can’t sleep, not when the other side of his bed is empty and cold. The morning sun peeks above the horizon as Iwaizumi downs his second cup of coffee, his phone out on the dining table, sitting silent and motionless. Even when Sugawara hands him a bowl of rice, miso soup and natto on the side, Iwaizumi only eats a few grains at a time. He skips his workout routine for the day, instead taking a seat silently by Kenma and scourges through the footage of the previous day’s events.

The hours turn into days, and the days turn into weeks. The agency begins to lose hope and when the two-month mark hits, Iwaizumi watches in despair as your photo in the database gets slapped with an ‘M.I.A.” stamp on it. Oikawa tries to convey his comfort and own pain through the hand placed on his friend’s shoulder. For the rest of the day, everyone who passes by Iwaizumi gives him their best apologetic look. He can only nod and train his gaze to the floor to avoid the pity. Losing a partner is never easy, and even more so when you’re romantically attached to them.

Yet inside his gut, he doesn’t believe it. Kenma had shown him the crime scene report as well as the autopsy results – all bodies found were accounted for and none of the samples matched to any characteristics describing you. There were no Jane Does, nothing that indicated you were there besides the necklace. Whether you had hacked into the database yourself before Kenma got to it or you had just simply disappeared into the flames, you were simply…gone. It just didn’t make sense and Iwaizumi needed to get down to the bottom of all of this. You were alive – he could feel it.

The head of the agency gives him fewer missions and often pairs him with Oikawa, the best person to keep him on his toes. Iwaizumi shuts off his emotions during these times, completely zoned in on the objectives and goals, senses on high alert. He trains and trains until his abs hurt and his arms are jelly, causing Daichi to forcibly lock him out of the gym and demand that he takes a day off. This happens more times than Iwaizumi can count on his fingers and toes, so he spends his free time searching for clues. Sometimes, even Kiyoko and Yachi come by to help.

He’ll find you. He has to.

-

Four months after the incident, Iwaizumi takes a train into a small town in Germany. Thankfully, there are very few people in his cart, and he looks like the odd visiting businessman. He’s got a messenger bag leaning against his body with a worn journal in his lap, one that he had found under the floorboards of your apartment. This was the third place your journal had strung him along to, and he was really hoping you would be here.

“You have two months,” the head told him. “If you don’t find her…”

You’ll need to give up.

The unspoken words had left a bad taste in Iwaizumi’s mouth. He was a month in and beginning to lose his sanity. Reading your journal made him realize how there was so much he hadn’t learned about you, yet you knew so much about him. Had he given over his heart too easily? Were you toying with him? Did you even want to be found?

The train comes to a stop, ripping him away from his thoughts. He steps off and looks around before spotting the street he wanted. Down that road would lead him to the main plaza of the town, the one that had been vaguely mentioned in your writings. Iwaizumi begins setting himself up for disappointment so the pain would be more bearable if he doesn’t find you here in the next few days.

It’s about a 15 minute walk – cream-colored houses in an old European style tower over him as he ambles down the curvy street. He passes by bikers and crepe stands, sometimes the occasional antique store. The ambient noise of nature begins to melt into sounds of spoken word, Iwaizumi’s first sign that he’s nearing the plaza. Eventually, the street opens up into a large square. He’s greeted by restaurants and gelato shops, many people enjoying the fresh air in the outdoor seating. Children run around playing with balloons and each other, no care in the world except for their current enjoyment. Iwaizumi looks around and freezes.

There you are, sitting at a shaded table by a café, sipping on what he presumes to be a latte. A book is spread open on the metal surface and you haven’t noticed him yet. He drinks in all your features, noticing your hair color has changed and your face thinner than before. But despite these concerning changes, you still look as beautiful as ever to him.

He can’t believe it. He finally found you.

As though you felt his eyes, you look up from your book in his direction. They bore right into yours and you process all the emotions running through him. There’s confusion, pain, determination, exhaustion, but most of all, there’s love. Your heart aches at the sight of him – with no doubt in the world, there was nothing, no one you missed more than Iwaizumi Hajime, the love of your life. But it’s too early for him to find you. There was something that you needed to do, and you had to do it alone. For him.

Iwaizumi watches you warily stand from your chair. Your body is tense and ready to act, and he recognizes that stance all too well. No, don’t – !

You run.

But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t chase after you.

[cynnymonsnaps]

Let the Tides of Change Come

Pairing(s): Carlos de Vil/Jane/Oc, Ben/Mal, Evie/Doug, Gil/Jay

Word Count: 2,062

Summary: Sometimes the power to rewrite things comes in the form of jumping right into the Descendants universe and giving everyone a piece of your mind.

Doug's stereotypical nerdy band kid shtick? Out the window it goes. The adults not knowing how to do anything right? Not on my watch. Kids being stuck on a prison of an Island? You're all coming with me now.

For Micha, they've taken on the grueling task of heading to the surface to help teach the kids of Auradon and the Isle that it's okay to talk things out and to not give into the rules and expectations of the older generation.Will someone at least give these teens a moment to breath in between saving the kingdom please? Jesus.

[This series goes through all three movies as well as the main events of the books to fix some of the unexplained happenings in the timeline. A very long winded story to fill the void in my heart of there being no more Descendants. *sobs*]

Warnings: Mentions of drowning.

A/N: Posting this on tumblr too so it can reach more people, but welcome to my new series!  I’ve already got all the plot laid out in a doc on my computer so it’s all a matter of time to sit down and actually write the beast. Anyways, enjoy!

          From the darkened gloomy waters emerged Uma, daughter of Ursula, dressed to the nines in golden sea themed jewelry and a sequin dress with the Isle of the Lost behind her. Seeming to notice the camera she turned towards the screen, swaying to the waves of the ocean with a sneer across her lips. “What?” The teal haired girl who leaned in closer, her golden seashell necklace glowing in the night. “You didn’t think this was the end of the story. Did you?” She gave an evil cackle before slowly sinking back into the murky depths of the sea, leaving no trace of her in sight. Before I knew it, the screen faded to black and the credits were rolling as a cover of “Kiss the Girl” played. From the comfort of my wheelchair I lazily watched the credits all the way through, having watched the movie multiple times to know it was the end.

           I loved the Descendants series with all my heart. From its catchy music, to it’s colorful and eye-catching costume design, to the characters who grew alongside me as I aged. Even through all its little plot holes and Disney-ified solutions I had stuck with the series for a whopping 4 years, never losing the passion I always had for it. There was something about the concept of the next generation of Fairy Tale characters and sticking them in a multiverse that was so eye catching. It was the same reason I liked Every After High, RWBY, Once Upon a Time and the many other iterations of the same concept. Which was why I felt pretty frustrated with Disney and how they wrote some of their characters. True, Descendants was marketed to a children’s audience, so there had to be some liberties taken and some things had to be dumbed down, but I wished they had done more with the story and its characters. There were so many ideas that could’ve been bounced off, it was almost a goldmine of storytelling.

Take Doug, son of Dopey, for example. He was always portrayed as a nerdy band kid who didn’t know how to get the girl he liked without being creepy and clingy. He had very plain fashion sense and hardly ever spoke to help the plot in anyway. A basic throw away character in all reality. I could see through, that Doug was just as silly as his father in his own story and always seemed to pop out more when dance scenes come on. He would move his body in a way that seemed like there was a firecracker that wanted to be let out, sharp moments here, exaggerated expressions there. The boy knew how to have fun and it was such a shame that the writers hadn’t let it shine through his personality or lines. Such a waste of material.

I had much hope that Descendants 3 would somehow right these wrongs though. The release date was nearing, and I’ve been saving myself from any spoilers like the trailers or any music videos that Disney released. I wanted to have a fresh pair of eyes when I dove straight in. And if anything, I knew that I’d have a fun time just experiencing the last movie in the trilogy.

           Stretching out my tired body, I got up to look at the digital clock on the table. A bright “2:00 AM” blinked back at me and I knew it was time to head to bed. I was always a night owl, so it was common for me to stay up until the early morning, but the premier was only a few days away and I needed to fix my chaotic sleep schedule before then. How else could I watch along with the cast all the way through? Closing everything off I gave one last yawn before headed to bed and falling into the soft sheets. Drifting to sleep faster than I expected, I hadn’t even realize anything was amiss when I felt the brush of liquid surround me. It was when I felt the water gently rise when I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Funny. For a dream this kind feels a little too real.”

I tried to open my eyes to wake up, but found a heavy force keeping them shut. “Huh?” Trying to move my arms this time, it felt like no matter how hard I tried to raise them, some sort of pressure was keeping them locked to my sides. Alarm bells were ringing in my head and I felt panic rip through me as the water rose faster. “Fuck! Is this how I’m gonna die? Death by drowning in my sleep?” With my effort to break free failing and the feeling of water rising almost past my face, I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath before fully being submerged. The whole situation filled me with dread as I was left helpless with nothing to do but wait for the end to come.

But it never did.

-

In my wait I could hear the distant muffled call of a name above me.

“-ha”

A sense of relief washed through me as the voice called out again seeming a little closer than before.

“-cha.”

If only I could just move something, anything to catch their attention, maybe they would be able to save me from this nightmare. With one last try I went to get up, putting every inch of energy into my limbs.

“Micha!” A hand shot through the water, grabbing onto my arms and helping me break through the surface. I couldn’t help but gasp for air and flail my arms to try to keep afloat, but what was I to do when I almost drowned? “Calm down child! You’ve only swum down for a few moments and you act like you’ve been under for decades. If you do not calm down, you will take in the water.” The voice scolded with a hint of concern. Just like the voice said I accidentally gasped a bit of water in my freak out and made myself cough in an attempt to get it all out again. “By the gods, let’s just get you to shore so you can collect yourself.” The voice huffed. Once again, I was pulled along in the water, kicking my legs weakly to try to get back to shore as fast as I could.

           Trudging out of the water I laid down on the cool earth, facing the sky as I tried to slowly fill my lungs with air again. The air was surprisingly fresh, and, in the distance, I could actually hear the sounds of wildlife. They helped me ground myself and it almost felt like the heavy presence I’d felt in the water disappeared into thin air. At least that nightmare of a situation was over now.  As I sighed in relief, having a little moment to myself before I felt the voice kneel down beside me. “Have you collected yourself?” The voice called out again. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by a man who looked to be in his late twenties frowning down at me. He had long piercing white hair that pooled over his shoulders and soft indigo blue eyes that seemed to make me feel safe and secure. His skin was a russet, reddish-brown and there seemed to be blue tattoos marking his right pec. There was a slight familiar feeling about him and his tattoos, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. “You usually never lose yourself when venturing the waves. Was there something that frightened you?”

           “Uhh.” You awkwardly let out unsure how to answer exactly. My hesitation caused his frown lines to grow harsher, like he’d been frowning for a long time. Not wanting to anger him I quickly sat up, but because of my fast motions I got a little lightheaded. He immediately steadied me with a firm grip and his eyebrows seemed to furrow. If he kept that up, he’d probably get so many forehead wrinkles. I looked around where the two of us were and found that we were somewhere I’ve never been before. “Where… uh.” I coughed out awkwardly. “Where are we?” He gave me an incredulous look, like maybe the water had gotten to my head or something. I didn’t really know what to say though. I’ve never been to such an open and natural place with waterfalls and stone ruins before, having been surrounded by tall buildings and concrete streets my whole life.

           “Michael, we are in Atlantis near one of the coves you love to explore ever since you were a child. Do you not remember that?” The man gives me a suspicious look when I almost went to shake my head but quickly nod when I caught myself. I’ve heard of Atlantis before, having read it in my history books from school, but there was no way I’ve ever been here before in my life. And who exactly was this Michael? I heard him calling me Micha earlier too, but that wasn’t my name. I quickly shake myself out of his grasp and go to the edge of the water, being careful not to fall in. Didn’t want another drowning spell when I had just woken up.

           I couldn’t believe my eyes. On the surface of the water I saw a similar pair of soft surprised indigo eyes staring back at me. A soaking met mop of white hair on my head as lines of the same blue tattoos ran just under my right eye and my left shoulder. My skin color was the same russet reddish-brown as the man’s and I looked to be about 10 or so. I reached down just to make sure this wasn’t a hallucination and as I did, the little girl in the reflection did the same, causing the surface to ripple. As I did so a little blue crystal with a dim glow dangled in front of me. Wait a minute.

White hair,

Blue eyes,

Glowing blue crystal,

Atlantis.

Oh my god. Was I in the lost empire of Atlantis right now? Did I literally get transport into the Disney universe? But this isn’t my body… Oh my Jesus and a fry stick! Did I die and get put into someone else’s body?!?

           “Did you hit your head on one of the rocks when you swam down there?” Out of nowhere the stranger took my head into his hands and searched for any bumps or bleeding while I was having another mini freak out. He slightly man handled me here and there which I didn’t take too kindly towards. When he found nothing, he went to feel my forehead as if I could have gotten a fever in the short time I had been in the water. “You seem alright physically, and your temperature is just fine. Maybe you’re gotten a screw loose?”

           “Hey!” I brush off his hand and give a small scoff, in response he chuckled to himself. I gave him a little glare and proceeded to ring out my hair a little. I still didn’t know who he was and wasn’t too keen on letting him get too close, but at least I now knew where I was. Now the question was, why was I in Atlantis?

           The stranger watched as I made some distance between us and sigh. He didn’t know what I was thinking exactly but with how strange I was acting it he thought it was best not to do anything too extreme. He also went to ring out his hair and went to grab us some towels that were lying to the side. He handed me one before making speaking up again. “We should head back to where Mother and Father are. I’m sure they could come to a better conclusion as to what is going on then I can.” He motioned for me to follow him and slowly started to make his way over to an open path. I was reluctant to follow him at first, but at the mention of “Mother and Father” the idea of going along with him wasn’t too bad if somehow, I could get these new parents of mine to introduce me to Milo and Kida.

I just hoped they were still around for me to talk to.

[reallyautomaticvoid]

Calling It: Good Intentions

Chapter 1: Calling It: The Beginning

Characters (in order of appearance): Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Conner Kent, Tam Fox, Bruce Wayne, Ra’s al Ghul

 Summary: 

Timothy Jackson Drake has been Red Robin for nearly three years now.  Ever since he was summarily kicked out of the Batfam (no matter what anyone in the Batfamily said), he’s been taking care of himself.  He has his own back and doesn’t need anybody else help, no matter what the Titans may say (and they have a lot to say on the matter).  He doesn’t need a safety net when he flies.

Note:

This was inspired by @iphoenixrising beautiful piece, Fractured, which everyone should read because, frankly, it’s incredible.  I would also like to thank them for all of the help they gave me when I was starting to write this piece.  Seriously, they're a wonderful person who deserves all the lovely thing in their life.

Serene and Gotham do not go together.  It was almost peaceful so long as you ignore the racket of car alarms and traffic.  It was excellent for Gotham.  Anytime there was peace (and Gotham was not on the verge of an alien invasion) was a blessing.  

Something to celebrate.  

A reason to be happy.

Drumming his thumbs on the concrete roof under him, Red Robin waits in the chill.  There was always, always something to do in Gotham.  Punching Two-Face in the face?  Great.  Foiling the latest Joker scheme?  Fantastic.  Catching Ivy before she releases the latest version of her plant toxin?  All in a days work.  Hell, usually there were muggers throughout Crime Alley that Red could punch.

Quiet nights, like tonight, grants a sense of false hope.  Like Gotham could do this every day.  That maybe Gotham could be like any other city.  

It couldn’t be.

Red Robin knew that.  

The worst part wasn't the boredom (which, don't get him wrong, was fucking awful.  Shit, he'd almost welcome a Ra's attack, but that wasn't due until later this week), no it was the stealthy asshat sneaking his way over to Red because, clearly, Tim couldn't see him coming.

“Hood.” Red's thumbs accelerate their drumming.

“Damn, Red, and here I was tryin' ta be sneaky.” Red Hood sinks onto the roof next to Red Robin.  Red could see Hood surveying him.  

"Next time, leave the steel-toed boots at home then."  

Jason snorts.  "Ya need a hair cut."

Red ignores Jason.  “You know it’s immensely stupid to sneak up on somebody in Gotham, right?”

“Whada ya going do? Shoot me?  I'd love to see you try, Babybird.”

Red scoffs as his thumbs continue to play their beat, “oh yeah, I’m the one with a history of shooting people.”

“One time.”

“Three times.”

Red ignores Jason's flinch, too busy shoving his own unwelcome memories back into their black box.  One of many.  Hood slitting Red's (then Robin's) throat.    The hot, dry Arabian desert.  The cock of a pistol.  Death.  Gotham rooftops.  Blood.  Unknown basements.  Pain.  

Jason bumps Red, nudging Tim out of his thoughts, Hood forces a chuckle, “eh, the first time was barely a graze.”

For the first time, Tim's thumbs froze as his head swivels around to look at Hood.  Tim gave Hood one of his best Red Robin glares which only appears to amuse Hood.

“How in the Hell do you figure?”

Red could tell that Hood was grinning at him under his hood, “yer still breathing.”

Tim shakes his head, suppressing a smile.  It had been over a year since Red Hood had last tried to kill him.  Well, really tried to kill him.  Without the Pit pulling strings.  

Enough time passed so Tim 'replacing' Jason wasn't a raw wound anymore.  It didn't hurt that Red had also been replaced at this point too.  Shoved out of the way to make room for the family.  Like Jason.  Like Damian.  Like Dick.  The real sons.  

Mostly though, Tim thought Jason finds it more useful to keep Red breathing instead of trying to stab him with a Batarang.  

Again.  

It's moderately difficult for a person with a slit throat to track the drugs trade in Gotham.

Shaking his head, Red resumes drumming his thumbs. “You have a terrible sense of humor.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s to die for,” Hood snickers more to himself than Red.

Red closes his eyes briefly, resisting the urge to sigh (because, damn it Hood, that shouldn’t be funny, but it was, so fuck you) before asking, “how’s Roy?”

Tim internal wince when he hears Jason swoon.  

He’s fucking swooning.  

Like a goddamn Disney Princess.  

Oh Gods, when did this become Red’s life.

“He’s fukin’ fantastic.  No, really Replacement,” Hood continues loudly over Red’s groans, “he does dis thing, with his tongue, dat makes me c—”

“SO, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?”  Red’s voice came out harsher than he intends in order to cover Jason’s gushing.

Red’s rules for dealing with the Bats:

1. Find out what the Bats want.

2.  Give it to them.

3.  Get the Hell out of Dodge.

The less time Red (Tim) had to spend with the Bats, the better.  It wasn’t like he was a welcome part of the Batfamily anymore.  

Hell, the only Bat member Red ever communicated with (outside of the job) was Jason.  Even then only on the rare occasion Tim was in Gotham.  Red put up with it because if Tim starts avoiding Jason, Hood would go out of his way to find and talk to Red.  Or Tim.  Either would work.  

The Titans were not enthusiastic about having the formerly dead Robin on their doorstep, asking after Red and what kind of beer they had.  ("PVR?  Shit, Replacement, I thought you had class.")

Besides, it was better this way.  Everyone was happier in their designated roles.  It's easier than trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.  Tim is done trying to shove that peg in anymore.  

And Red's perfectly fine with it.

“B wants ya ta come ta the Manner for dinner,” Red controls a flinch that Hood graciously ignores.  “Alfred making pizza.”

“Can’t.  I have to run a trace on a weapons shipment,” Red lies.  

It's a white lie, really.  The trace on the weapons cargo (a trail Red had been working for fucking weeks now) had long since run cold.  Since there were not any criminals out and about, Red should call it a night.  

Oblivious as ever, Hood suggests, "do it on da Batcomputer.”

Red stifles a groan. Yes, it made a lot of sense to do it on the Batcomputer. Red hates (and he really, really hates to) to admit it, but the Batcomputer is faster than any setup that he has in Gotham. Plus, it is already hooked into Gotham PD meaning Red wouldn't waste hacking in.

For some reason, the GPD was forever upgrading their systems. It woulda been annoying except for the sense of pride Red got every time he wormed his way back into the database.

Logically, Red should do it on the Batcomputer.  

But, returning to the Batcave?  Ugh.  

For the sake of argument, Red entered the idea of going to the Batcave.

The facts:

1.  Batman would be there; that would be…unavoidable.  

2.  Robin would defiantly be there along with his newest pet.  Through the grapevine, Red heard that somehow Robin had convinced both Batman and Agent A that he should be allowed to keep a cow in the Batcave.  A cow.  And to think, Bats and Agent A nearly had an aneurysm when Red had bring a guinea pig back to the Manner for a science project.  It had been in a cage for Heaven sakes, but it had still been a fight to get it through the front door.  

Red briefly considered if Robin was keeping the cow (dubbed Batcow for some unholy reason) was being kept in his old workspace before banishing the thought.  It wasn’t any of Red’s concern what was happening in the Batcave anymore.

3.  Oh fucking hell, Nightwing would be there too, come to think about it.  N had moved back to Gotham after the Battle of the Cowl and the ensuing chaos that followed.  As far as Red knew, N hadn't gone back to Blüdhaven nor would he after 'Haven had fallen.  Nightwing would be inescapable, that is, if N even noticed Red was there.  Red started drumming his thumbs again, Gods, he was beginning to sound like an angsty tween.  He was twenty, not twelve for fuck sakes.

As much as his stomach yearns for Alfred's pizza, Red didn't want to go through the tedious process of expulsion from the Manor.

Not my place anymore Hood, remember?

"No, I already have all the info synced on my systems.  Next time.” The tone that came out of Red's mouth was nothing like his usual tone.  It was smooth.  Unemotional.  Insincere.

If Hood noticed the change in Red's tones, he didn't comment.

*    *    *

“Where were you?” Dick flips off of the high training bar, landing lightly onto the mat near Jason. Jason fought a grimace at Dick’s smirk. He had never been able to achieve Dick’s level of grace and dat fuckin' acrobatic knew it. And Jason would be damn (again) if that fuckin' asshole didn’t rub it in ta Jason’s face every fuckin' chance he got. Dick strolled pass the Demon who happened to be busy practicing with his katana (and who da fuck's bright idea was it ta give that back ta the kid?  Jason, really, really didn't want ta have ta get stitches again) ta invade Jason's bubble.

“Talkin’ ta Tim,” Jason slams his helmet down onto his workbench before starting ta clean his guns.

Each of the members of the Batfamily had their own work area in the cave.  Jason’s area near da garage which made it great fer a quick escape.  Goldie's has his workbench next ta da mats.  Demon Brat's was between Bruce's (next ta da Batcomputer) and Dick's.  

The only bench dat had never been touched was fer da Replacement.  It stood, damn near gleaming next ta the back of the Batcomputer where the person who was supposed ta be workin' there would have easy access ta da Batcomputer if they (Tim) needs ta repairs it.

Goldie hardly took any notice of what Jason was sayin' ‘cause he was distracted by da Brat.  In fairness, it did look like the Demon Brat was tryin' ta hack the practice dummy ta death.  

“Oh, that’s nice. Is he coming to dinner?”

“Busy,” Jason grunts.

“Huh, he’s been busy a lot recently,” Dick replies, still starin' at da Demon.  “Damian, what on Earth are you doing with that katana?  I only gave it back to you because you promised not to hurt anything with it.”

Jason misses da Brat’s response as Dick went over to correct (bicker with) Damian about the katana.

Sometimes, Jason thought, Dick was a fuckin’ idiot.

Replacement—Damn it, Tim, not Replacement (Jason was working on that)— hadn’t been near the Manner for over a year.  He hadn’t been near the Batcave in almost half that time.  

Yet, neither Bruce nor fuckin’ Goldie seems ta have a goddamn clue about the fucking kid.  Sure, they knew what fuckin' CEO: Tim Wayne was doin’.  But fuckin' really though, what tabloid didn’t?  

Tim though?  Ickly Baby Bird though? Dork wonder? They didn’t have a fuckin’ clue.  What's worse, neither of them seem ta have a clue dat they didn't have a clue.  World Greatest Detective?  Shit, they couldn’t see what was goin’ on two inches from their fuckin’ face.

Jason glares down at his workbench.  Shit, when had the Replacement—shit Tim— wellbeing been become fuckin’ Jason’s problem?  

About a year ago, Re—Tim had gotten Jason’s nuts out of the fire.  Not that Jason wouldn’t have figured a way out.  He had been pinned down by drug dealers before.  Sure, Jason mighta gone in a little hot (and without enough bullets and he mighta been ridin' da pit a bit, but who needed to know that?).  He didn’t like drug dealers who would push their crap onto kids.  It rubbed 'em the wrong way.  

But Tim (fuck yeah, he got his name right)—icky Timmy-wimmy—swung in like it was noth’ and kicked some major ass.  He managed to knock all the fuckin’ dealer and tied ‘em up before Jason could say shit.

Then Tim did something that Jason never expected.  

He fuckin’ dragged Jason’s sorry ass back ta one of Jason’s safe houses (which Jason still doesn't know how Tim knew about dat one.  It wasn't one on any of B's radar) and patched him up before leaving.

“Da fuck you do that for?” Jason slurred.  

Blood loss was always a bitch.

Tim shrugged.  It mighta been da blood loss, but Replacement- Tim's eyes seemed empty.  “Couldn’t leave you there to die, could I?”

Tim left before Jason could respond.  

It wasn’t long after dat Jason gave in to Bruce and Dick and started hanging ‘round the bats again.  

Jason had expected to see Tim around the cave.  After a month of not seeing Tim, he finally cracked and asked the Demon about it.  

“Where’s Replacement?”

Dami looked around at him.  “Tt.  If you’re talking about Drake ,” he sneered the name which made Jason’s eyes roll, “he doesn’t live here anymore.”  

"Isn't the kid only like, eighteen?"

Damian stared blankly at Jason.  "And your point, Todd?"

Dat was da last time Jason had asked any Tim question ta any of da Bats.  He did, from time to time, still yanked on Timmy’s chain, ta make sure the kid was still kickin’.

Alfred's voice pulls 'em from his thoughts as the butler calls them up fer dinner.  

*     *     *

Tim took a deep breath in as he parked his Ducati before entering his Perch.  

It had been a long week.  If Tim saw one more proposal to sell WE tech to Lexcorp, he was going to scream.  Some of the ideas people were having….  Tim had begun to worry about the intelligence level of those who worked for him.

Tim heavily sigh before sliding off his cowl and tunic.  He glances down at the rainbow of bruises that were blooming over his torso.  No need for (new) stitches tonight.  Yay.

Maybe Tam would let him have an easy day tomorrow...?  Tim snorts at that idea as he pokes a particular large bruise that's three different shades of purple.  He was the CEO of a major company who, on average, spent less than a week a month in the office.  So when Tam got him in the office…well, there was lots of paperwork.  Tam likes to claim that if he was here more that there’d be less paperwork.  Tim disagrees with this.  If Tim were in the office more, he would have more paperwork.

Tim finally gets his costume off and pulls on his sweats.  Sweats were, in Tim's opinion, one of the best things ever invented.  They allow him to feel a bit more like Tim rather than Mr. Wayne or Red Robin.  

Tim hums to himself as he left his perch to go up to his apartment.  

Unlike his perch (where everything was in prestige condition) Tim's apartment is a disaster.  While in Gotham, he was also almost always too busy to clean.  After the fourth (or was the fifth?) time Tam had entered his apartment to find it in shambles, she suggested (ordered) Tim get a cleaning service.  She even offered to do it herself.  Tim had declined the offer because of, well, Bat.  

That's how Tim found himself (at three o’clock in the fucking morning) washing his coffee mug before setting up his coffee maker for the morning.

As Tim washed the cup, he debated with himself about whether he needs to sleep tonight when he heard his phone buzz.  He glances down to see Conner had sent him a text.

GO TO BED.

Tim grinning types back:

How do you know that I wasn’t snug as a bug in bed and asleep until my phone went off?  

Tim sent the message off.  Less than ten seconds later (which, crap, that means Con means business), his phone buzzed again.  

Because I know you.  Go the fuck to bed or you're grounded all weekend.

Tim snorts at that.  It isn’t like the metas in the Titans would (could) ground him.  He had escape plans for every one of grounding.  Although, Raven had threatened she’d poof in his room and take all his Red Robin uniforms.  He didn’t want to test that.  So Tim texts back:  

Fine.  Going to bed.

Tim barely gets the coffee grounds out before his phone buzzed again.

NOW or I’m flying over there.

Tim rolls his eyes at his best friend before sending back:

My God, I need to get your cameras out of here.  I’m making coffee for the A.M. then straight to bed.  Night, worrywart.  

As Tim put the finishing touches on the coffee, his phone went off again.  

Night, reason why I have an ulcer.  Oh, and don’t forget to take your vitamins!

*     *     *

The next morning at WE was not as bad as he was expecting.  

It was so, so, so much worse.  

As soon as he got in, Tam grabbed him to tell him that an investor was waiting in Tim’s office.  The investor wanted to discuss why his product wasn’t in production yet.  

Tim's ears were still ringing as, an hour later, he heads to a board meeting.  Trying to get the board to make a decision was like trying to get Bart to slow down.  Frustrating and ultimately useless.  

By the end of the meeting, Tim wasn’t sure what the meeting had been about or if a decision had even been made.  This all happened before lunch.

“You want the usual, Tim?” Tam asks, as Tim was about to reenter his office.

“That sounds fanatics, Tam, thanks.” He gives her a grateful half smile.  

Tam hums back.  “Oh and Tim, Mr. Wayne requested a meeting with you.  Again.”

Tim suppresses a sigh.  “What’d you say?”

“That you were going back out of town tonight and I wasn’t sure when you’d be back.  Which isn't a lie because I don’t know when you’re going to be back."

Tim rubs his temples ignoring Tam’s glare.  A migraine had been threatening to form for the last hour and a guilt trip from Tam was the last thing that Tim needs.

“I promise Tam, when I know, you’ll know.”

She huffs.  “Fine then.  I’ll get your lunch for you.”

Tim smiles at her.  “Thanks, Tam.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t thank me yet.  Once Mr. Wayne found out that you were going out of town again he—” but the rest of her sentence was cut off by Bruce.  

Bruce coming out of Tim’s office.

Great.

Tim felt his best CEO mask slip into place.  He hadn’t seen Bruce since…well, Tim wasn’t sure when the last time that he’d seen Bruce.  Let alone been close enough to talk to him.

“There you are, Tim!” Brucie came out in full force this morning.  

Great, this is exactly what Tim’s head needs this morning.

“He decided to stop by for a bit.  See you in a few, Tim.” Tam shoots him an apologetic look before leaving.  

Tam may not know all of what went down between Tim and the Bats, but she did know that it was best to keep them separate if possible or, if not, to get out of the way.

“Bruce.  I wasn’t expecting to see you today.  How’s Selina?” Tim keeps his voice detached as he processes these new turn of events.  

What he wouldn't give for a cup of coffee...  

Tim strolls into his office with Brucie following him, the door squeaking shut behind them.

“She’s great! So, son,” Tim suppresses a flinch (not your kid, remember? Just the placeholder between kids.  We’re all clear on that, right?  Right.).  “I didn’t even know that you were in town.  I thought you were still in San Francisco.”

“I’m headed there tonight,” Tim begrudgingly informs Bruce.  Though neither his expression nor tone changes from the CEO mask.  “So, what can I do for you?”

Bruce extracted some files from his jacket (Where did those folders come from? Red did not like not knowing that.) before thrusting them at Tim.  

“Can you run the data for me on this case?”

“Not a problem.” Tim flips open the top file.

“Alfred wants you to come for dinner.”

It was a statement.  Not a question.  

“Can’t, sorry.  I’m going to the Tower right after work.  Maybe next time.”  Tim replies automatically without looking up.  

Brucie, however, didn’t seem to notice the tone.  He was already on his cellphone, checking something.  

“Right then.  Next time.”  Bruce left before Tim gets a chance to respond.  Tim drops the files next to his desk before walking around it and sinking down into his chair.  He lightly raps his head against the desk for a minute.  

Stupid, stupid, stupid.  Tim thinks to himself.  He tries to make it a point to not tell the any of Bats of his coming or goings.  Really, though, it wasn’t like any of them cared.  

A voice in the back of his head (that sounded suspiciously like Con) whispers that it must be the sleep deprivation, which didn’t make any sense.  Tim had gotten almost two whole hours of sleep this morning.  And that's like ten normal people hours of sleep.  

It really isn’t Tim’s fault that the police reports that he had been waiting weeks for had finally been put on to the Gotham server last night.  Of course, he had to read them last night just to make sure they were the right ones.  He wasn’t going to send the Titans, his team, off on a wild goose chase.  So, he had read the report and made his own before going to bed last—this morning.

Tim's pulled from these thoughts by a knock on the door.  Tam was standing there, holding a carb salad with raises eyebrows.

“Here is the thing you claim is lunch.”  Tam crosses the room and places the box onto Tim’s desk.  

Tim sniffs, shuffling Bruce’s papers away.  “There is nothing wrong with eating a salad for lunch.”

“It’s not the salad itself I object to.  It's the fact that it's your only eating a salad for lunch that weird."

“Who doesn’t like salad?”

“Most sane people.”  

Tim snorts.  “You realize calling your boss insane isn’t a good idea?”

“Tim, if you fired me, then you’d have to do all the paperwork,” Tam smirks at Tim’s horrified expression.  “Yeah, I think my job is safe.  What did Mr. Wayne want?”  She nonchalantly asks.

Tim stiffens at the question.  “He just wanted some data.”  Tim flips the lid off the salad to see a full family sized salad sitting in front of him.  “I think you may have gotten too much.”

“No, I didn't.  You'll need the energy.  The Lexcorp officials are coming after lunch for an impromptu meeting.  Don't worry,” Tam continues at Tim's groan, "I've already told Steve down at Security to run interference."  Tam turns to leave.  “And I expect all of that salad to be gone by the time I get back mister,” she adds in her best mock motherly voice.

“Yes, Ma’am.”  And Tim took an exaggeratedly large bit at Tam’s glare.

*    *    *

The rest of the day at WE went by relatively smoothly.  Tim's even able to get out at a reasonable hour.  

Miraculous, Tim had been able to finish the whole salad.  Or, maybe it wasn’t a miracle; just Tim failing at remembering to feed himself.  Tam was always good at making sure Tim ate.  She claims that he was just too skinny and would attempt to force-feed him every chance she got.  

Tim hums to himself as he unlocks the front door to his apartment.  He was supposed to be at the tower by midnight.  For once, he didn’t have to rush to get there or run the risk of being late.  

There were even times that Tim thought that his three-floor apartment a little…much.  

When Tim had bought it, he'd never expected that all of the space would bother him.  Spending most of his childhood alone at the Drake house and then at the Manner, large empty space had never been an issue.

And Tim had been fine with it until he had started to spend more time at the tower.  Tim smiles at the thought of the other Titans while dumping his briefcase onto the couch and throwing his suit jacket down too (his mother, or Alfred for that matter, would have been horrified that Tim had just thrown a custom made Armani suit onto the ground, like trash? but, hey, they weren’t here so what they do?).  Tim heads down the hallway towards his bedroom, taking off the pieces of Tim Wayne: CEO costume off so he could put on his Tim Drake: Red Robin uniform on instead.  

The tie went on the guest bathroom’s doorknob, and the shoes get kicked down the hallway ahead (making a small crashing noise) of him into his room.  By the time Tim reached his bedroom, he was just in his undershirt and pants.

Red stills.  

Something wasn’t right.  

Red looks around, trying to figure out what was misplaced.  His eye roved over the neat mess also known as his closet.  He really should get somebody in to clean it but who has the time to vet a new hire?  His dresser was pulled open with clothing spilling out of it.  

Tim did have a ridiculous amount of clothing.  

Tim’s eyes froze on his bedside table.  There was the usual clutter (empty soda cans, coffee mugs, Chinese food containers, etc.) but there, sitting neatly embedded on top of all of the disarray was a gleaming knife.  

A blade used personally by the Demon’s Head.  

Tim had only seen that dagger a handful of times before.  None of those memories were pleasant.

A bubble of panic began to form in his chest.  Shit, shit, shit.  I do not have time for this today Ra’s.  Tim casually reached towards his distress beacon.  

He hadn’t even moved an inch before pain met him.  

Tim was hurled forward before slamming down onto his bed by a force behind him.

“Now, now, Detective.  We can’t have you spoiling all the fun now, can we?”  Ra’s voice came from a spot a few feet in front of Tim where he'd magically appeared.  

Fucking hell.  I don’t have time for this.  

“We wouldn’t want you to call those pesky Titans, now would we?”

“Go to Hell, Ra's.”  Tim's voice was somewhat less intimidating, what with the three ninjas smashing into his back and a pillow smothering him.  

“Tut, tut.  Language, young Detective.”  Tim feels the stab of a syringe going into his neck followed by a burning sensation.  The world began to get fuzzy.  “It wouldn’t do for the next Demon’s Head to insult his predecessor.”

There's a rushing noise in Tim's ears which is only drowned out by the steady beat of his heart.  Lights begain to dim.  Tim's arms were getting heavery as he struggled to move.  Tim give a weak kick towards the person pinning him down wich barely rocks the bed.  The world is quickly closing in on Tim.  

Before he completely passes the fuck out, Tim manage to say, “What would you prefer Ra’s, Real Housewives of Gotham or Metropolis?  Because one of those will be playing on a loop for days before I’m done.”  

The last sound Tim hears before sleep overtakes him is of Ra's laughing.

Thanks for reading!

AO3 link here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106355/chapters/42802829

[unboundpen]

Pandemonium [1/3?]

[Next]

Fandom: Batman

Characters: Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth

Pairing: JasonDamian

Rated: T

Warnings: Damian is aged up, should be in college.

Summary: 

After being away from Earth for a while, Jason notices that Damian is a lot more attention-grabbing than before. Eh, growing attractions are nothing....Right?

Read on AO3

A/N: So it’s been many years since I’ve truly sat down and finished writing a fic. Life has been hectic, I lost my mojo to continue writing, then went back to school and it pretty much consumed my life. Anyways, this was written based off of what @batboys-batboys-whachu-gonna-do had posted almost a year ago and I caught wind of it. It’ll be two or three chapters depending on if I’m up for writing smut with this fic. I said I was going to write something and then went MIA again. Anyways comment on ao3 or send me an ask or reblog with reactions if you guys enjoyed it. I’m very rusty, so go easy on me.

Jason isn’t even sure if he should be out patrolling Gotham tonight. He’s so dead tired that he feels himself get heavier on the cable he’s currently swinging on. Kori had landed the ship back on Earth the night before and if he were to be completely honest with himself, he should have just stayed in bed. The idea of sleeping for a few years before even thinking about getting back into normal everyday crime fighting was really starting to seem like the better option. And yet... here he was, swinging from building to building, looking out into the city he always called home.

Exhaustion crept heavily through his body. It made his vision blur and had been severe enough to make him go cross-eyed a few times. He scrubs at his face, trying to chase the fatigue away as he second-guesses his decision to patrol tonight -feeling the worn leather of his gloves rub against anywhere not covered by the domino mask. It had been a slow night anyway…but just as he reaches out to shoot another line to change his path back to the designated safe house for the night, he hears the very distinct but familiar sound of people getting beaten up in an alley.

Jason follows the sounds of muted groans and painful hits landing -and then sudden silence- until he drops down to the scene of unconscious baddies being zip-tied by another mask in the shadows. He surveys the destruction and lets out a low whistle while toeing one of them by the leg.

"Guess you didn't need any backup."

He hears a familiar snort, "I hardly ever do. It's only five men."

Jason looks over at the figure in the shadows and watches as they stand up and walk over to him. His eyes widen behind the mask.

There stood Robin in all his Robin-y glory. His eyes rake over Robin's form, noticing that the uniform had been adjusted to fit not just his height but also the lithe bulk he had also gained. It reminded him of a certain acrobat they both knew. It was close but not quite. He would have thought this was someone else who had taken on the mantle, but the same minute details were there: hooded cape encasing his head, sword, and sheath at his side, and the ever useful and painful clawed spikes that protruded from the kid's gloves. Not to mention the air of annoying haughtiness that only came from being the direct heir to Bruce Wayne.

"I gotta say, you certainly shot up from the last time I saw you." He feels his lips stretch into a grin.

"-Tt- It was inevitable."

"Nonetheless," Jason pauses to do another slow look, "you look good for someone who is supposed to be suffering through puberty."

"Considering my parentage, it has come as no surprise." Robin answers simply before reaching into his belt for a few more zip ties and holds them out to Jason, "Make yourself useful, Hood, and get those two."

Jason blinks, taking the offered items unconsciously. He half expected the kid to react a bit differently, maybe even get a little flustered. Jason certainly thought so.

Jason frowns in contemplation as he maneuvers one of the thugs in front of him onto their front, restraining the unconscious man with one of the ties before moving onto the next one. He hears the faint sound of bodies being dragged into a pile.

"So, what's a birdie like you doing in my neck of the woods anyway?"

"You were gone-"

“-Well, no shit," Jason interjects, shaking his head. Again reminded of how tired he really was. He looks over at the other mask currently frowning at Jason and arms crossed.

"You were gone," the other mask emphasizes loudly, as if admonishing Jason's interruption, "henceforth I took it upon myself to patrol your area until you got back."

"I guess no one told you I got back yesterday?”

“On the contrary, Father already has a written report of your return in the system."

Jason sighs, “Of course he has,” he opts to rub his eyes through the mask, "Guess I tripped the alert system he has over my known locations?”

“Actually,” Robin pauses, tilting his head to the side as the sound of sirens faintly begin to sound around them and then reaches up to shoot a line up one of the buildings.

Jason watches him glide up through the air, admiring the fluidity of the movement before he follows. Once he lands next to the bird, Robin continues, “Superman alerted father of your return.”

Jason grunts and crosses his arms thoughtfully. That wasn’t a surprising thing either. Clark had always been watchful of him even while he was still wearing the cape and green panties. Even the thought that the super could be listening in on their conversation caused a shiver to run all throughout Jason’s body. Before he could even say anything, Robin moves to the other side of the building without another look at Jason.

“I trust you have the rest handled from here, Red Hood,” Robin says flippantly over his shoulder. The older man watches silently as the Robin turns around, gives him a nod, then hauls himself over the raised concrete and over the other side of it.

And with that Robin is gone, leaving no trace of himself except in Jason’s mind.

xXx

It’s about four days later before Jason feels himself get comfortable with his place in Gotham again. He’s well rested now, but he realizes with the year or so he’s been away, his files aren’t up-to-date. It was one thing if a few robberies occurred here or there, but when he’s heard of several incidents involving a certain mob boss who had been steadily moving into his territory, he figures he needs to get on that asap. He doesn’t rely too much on the other members of the bat family, but he would have expected that the files would be constantly updated while he was away. It was most likely that Tim was more busy with the Titans and Babs was preoccupied with other things. Thus he finds himself parking his bike in the bat cave.

If there was one thing that Jason expects to not change significantly, it would be the cave. The same old giant penny and t-rex were in their respective spaces. The only things ever changing were all the tech that got recycled every now and then. He surveys the area, noting that he was the only one there in this moment. He makes it a point to himself to ignore the glass case holding a certain uniform.

Jason strolls over to the computer, booting it up and realizes that the program was updated when the screen prompts for a password. He decides not to risk it as the memory of the last time he tried to flashes up in his mind.

The ink had stained his skin for weeks….

He wonders who is in the manor for a moment before he feels a presence at his side. Jason is a bit too surprised to even move away as the figure types in the password, a nonsensical password that would have been impossible to guess. And before he could stop himself, his eyes roam.

“Someone needs to put a bell on you,” he states absentmindedly.

Damian…looked really good. A short-sleeved, white, button-up shirt snug around his shoulders and upper body as he was crouching over the control panel. His head was looking up at the screen, neck stretched invitingly while watching it. Jason’s eyes slide down until he reaches the jeans that fit very nicely on Damian’s legs, enveloping his thighs and….

“-Tt- I anticipated your visit.” Damian types on the keyboard for a third password and then turns his head to stare back at Jason, “I updated the system for better security as requested by father while you were away.”

Jason feels his eyes still linger on the brat’s ass before looking up to meet Damian’s eyes. Oh boy….

The older man clears his throat; it was just dry all of a sudden. Hopefully, the kid didn’t catch him staring too much. "Three passwords is a bit much, don't ya think?" He utters weakly.

Damian shrugs before straightening up, and Jason catches himself staring harder, to the point of his eyes crossing. He shuts his eyes for a moment and opts for making a show of rubbing his forehead as if he was exasperated by the nuisance.

“Alright, well, I should probably be put in the system again. Gotta catch up on what I missed and all that.” Jason waves his hand as he opens his eyes.

Damian hums thoughtfully. “That will not be difficult. However, I’m not sure if father has granted permission to give you access.”

The older man chokes out a laugh, “Oh Babybat, I get access one way or another. I only get locked out when shit like this happens. And last I remember you’re not one to ask for daddy’s permission on a lot of things.”

The younger man's eyes narrow while his lips morph into a frown.“I am not," he answers, "I-It’s a compromise for allowing me to patrol by myself. Besides, why should I believe that you’re allowed in the system?”

Jason grins. This wouldn't be the demon spawn if he didn't give any push back. “The replacement can vouch for that. And I got some downtime so if you really need to ask Bruce for the go ahead, I can stay here in the meantime and catch up with what I really need.”

“That will not be necessary, Father is predisposed at the moment. Getting any sort of response from him will not come till much later tonight, most likely a few minutes before he arrives back here,” Jason opens his mouth to say that wasn’t really a problem but Damian continues, “I have a meeting with a colleague in an hour. Thus leaving you here in the manor by yourself is not a wise choice. I can give you the files that you need -that is if you have a USB drive on you.”

Jason can’t help but feel a bit offended from that.

“Okay first,” Jason points a finger at the kid, “I can very much well click and drag files onto a thumb-drive just fine. Second, I’m pretty sure I can handle myself if I were alone. I’ve been managing that for the past few years now thank you very much. Third, wouldn’t Alfred be here anyway?”

Damian snorts and allows himself to lean on the control panel. And by God, if Jason doesn't feel his face heat up even more as he tries to maintain eye contact. “Getting the files is a bit more convoluted than that, Todd. Pennyworth has the day off. And I was very much alluding to this incident.” He reaches down to press a button -just one, Jason notices- without looking away before the screen flickers to the start of a video.

Jason looks up and realizes just what incident he was talking about once the sound echoes through the cave.

A much younger Jason balanced on the banister of the staircase, on the second floor, dressed in the Robin uniform, green panties, and pixie boots and all, while reading a few lines from Peter Pan out loud as he walks from one end to the other.

“I thought I deleted this.”

Damian tuts, “You know very well that my father had installed a program to reverse any erasures. He may be aware of this or he may not, but I am not the only one that knows of this video’s existence.”

Was he-? Holy fuck the kid was smirking. He definitely had this on retainer.

Jason glares at him.

Damian pauses the video and presses another button which causes a red circle to appear on the screen. “Cain mentioned that you start to get pretty confident with yourself here.” Damian presses play again and then pauses it at another point in the video. “She also said that this was where your balance starts to go off, and I’m inclined to agree."

“Who else-“

“-Brown commented that you get a little pitchy here.”

The video continues to play out and then Jason watches his younger self start to fall and struggle for the grappling hook on his belt and shoot it at the other end of the room.

“Drake stated that you should have been able to get to it quicker,” Jason continues watching, remembering the feeling of relief when he landed…until the chandelier fell with the loudest crash he’d ever heard in his life behind him, and now he is reliving that moment as the chandelier drops and breaks on the screen.

“And Alfred said that you had a difficult time cleaning up the thousands of pieces even when he got back home,” Damian pauses and then raises an eyebrow at him, "Really, Todd, a broom?"

“I couldn’t find the vacuum,” Jason growls out, feeling his face heat up even more now, but this time with begrudging embarrassment. He can’t even remember the last time he was this mortified and it was the kid -out of all people- that was teasing the hell out of him.

Damian seems to accept that answer for what it was and lets it go while still smirking that goddamn smirk.

And this is where Jason isn’t sure if he is angry, embarrassed or ...turned on? All three maybe? But he knows for sure that he was confused as hell at the turned on part no matter how small it may be. He’s gotta process this somewhat. And it’s a bit difficult to when the damned kid was standing right there.

Without another word, Jason turns and stalks towards his bike, resisting the urge to run to it.

“I didn’t take you for one to run away, Todd,” Damian calls out to him.

Jason shakes his head as he straddles his bike and flips the kid off before he starts it and heads back to his apartment.

xXx

It’s early in the morning and Jason finds himself laying on the rooftop of his apartment staring up at the starless sky, having smoked through one full pack of cigarettes and working his way through a second. He’s been done with patrol for over an hour now, so both the helmet and mask were off to the side...somewhere.

He closes his eyes as he takes an extra long drag of the lit cigarette held between his fingers. When he opens his eyes, there’s Robin standing over him with a frown.

“I find it hard to believe that you still smoke, Todd.”

Jason rolls his eyes hard as he takes another drag, “Oh look, Boy Wonder has come to save me from the perils of smoking."

Damian shakes his head before he holds out a fist over Jason and drops something onto the older man’s torso. Jason takes a hold of it in his other hand and brings it up to his field of vision.

A thumb-drive.

“The hell is this for?”

“You left before I could give you the files.”

“How do you know what files I needed?”

Damian sighs, “You are merely predictable when you need to be, Todd.”

“I’m hurt,” Jason mocks, throwing his hand over his chest and contorts his face into a pained expression. He half expects for Damian to just leave then and there, but is surprised when the kid opts to sit next to him. Jason turns his head to look at the kid and muses that he looks a lot smaller from this angle, almost like his eleven-year-old self with that scowl on his face.

"Father gave the go-ahead," the kid's scowl deepens when Jason blows another cloud of smoke up into the air, "for your access to the database."

The older man grins, “Told ya.”

There was a brief pause where Jason just continues to stare up at the sky peacefully. He can feel the kid’s eyes study him in a curious manner, no weight to it. He had to admit, it was nice. Typically when a bat clan member looked at him there was the usual range of emotions behind the gazes. With Dick, there was worry along with his need to use touch as comfort, often with a tentative hand that locked onto Jason’s shoulder. Most of the time it was heavy. Babs looked at him with a stoic expression but with the occasional fleeting recognition whenever he said something witty enough for her. To her, the rough around the edges but hopeful youth that he used to be was long gone, and in his place an almost stranger. Tim had just this hint of pity behind his mask of smiles. After forming a civil relationship that bloomed into this comfortable companionship, Jason had figured out that whatever Tim had researched on the older man would always be in the back of his mind.

And then there was Bruce. The head honcho. While Jason could say that their relationship was significantly better, he still couldn’t be around his old mentor for no more than an hour at most. There was only so much Jason could take from the disappointment behind that gaze. After those years when he was a teenager and the glinting amusement that Bruce looked at him with, he just could not stand the feeling of failure digging into and burrowing under his skin where it just spread throughout his body like an itching rash, getting worse with every minute till he felt like he could start to hyperventilate.

But then here was the son. At first, it was all just anger. Man, the kid was a tight ball of fury that tried to get at anyone that moved near him. Yeah sure it was annoying when it was aimlessly directed at anyone, but the intensity. He was actually impressed with how much the kid’s anger fueled him to do just about anything. And Jason had tested it with his goading, just to see how long Damian would last and just how far he was willing to go. Jason knew that feeling. He was familiar with it after he had crawled out of the grandfather’s pit. It was the only emotion he could latch onto that could keep him grounded. So he understood Damian’s confusion fueled rage. But now, even before Jason had left for a year, Damian’s looks had evolved into a feigned indifference, all just with the intent to study Jason more. If Jason were to pick anyone out of the bat clan, Damian was the least volatile on his psyche.

He feels Damian shift beside him for a moment before the kid sighed. “It would be a lot easier for me to give you access to the database if you let me into your apartment, Todd.”

“You could always just go in through the window.”

“That would be rude of me.”

And this is where Jason slowly turns his head so he can slow blink at the whites of Robin’s mask. They stay like that for a moment, neither of them moving. The older man waits, just wants to see if Damian knew how ridiculous that statement was coming from him of all people. But it never comes, just the blank look on his face. Jason feels like laughing in disbelief but opts for throwing his half cigarette to the side before reaching up to rub his face to keep his mouth from opening up to let out the bubbling of a laugh that was forming in the back of his throat.

Jason resists the urge to groan, the way that every aging adult does when they have to get up, as he shuffles slowly to his feet. He contemplates asking Roy for a long needed body cracking as he glances down at the kid, who was still sitting there.

"Come on then," Jason simply says and starts walking towards the fire escape.

He hears shuffling behind him. "What about your helmet?"

"Eh, I'll come back for it later," Jason responds as he starts to climb down the three floors before his apartment.

xXx

The cool breeze billows around Jason as he takes a single sip from the mug that had been set in front of him about 20 minutes ago. He scans the street lazily, knowing that the passing bell for the university would ring any minute now. He's not too sure why he's waiting for the kid, there was no emergency to the situation, he just felt drawn to approach him on his downtime.

The melodic sound of the bell rang throughout the air and almost immediately, students pour out of the entrances. Jason makes no rush to get up immediately. With the amount of kids coming out, it would be a lot more trouble to look for Damian now than it would after the crowd thins out in the next 10 minutes. And true to that prediction, the courtyard of the school is nearly empty as if there was some sort of repellent for college goers, said for a few stragglers. One of them being baby Wayne.

"What's this?" Jason whispers into the lip of his mug when he sees a redheaded woman jog her way to Damian's side. It doesn't take a lot for anyone to see the attraction to the kid. The lack of space between their arms, her big ass smile followed with one dimple in one cheek, and the admiring eyes had trained on him.

Jason couldn't help but think of Dick and Babs. But where Dick and Babs would be easy and open in public, Damian and this girl were...stunted... in a sense. The kid didn't have the puppy love-struck expression of a young adult, instead, he just looked charming. It was eerily similar to the charm Bruce used to work over the ladies at a charity event or something.

He gets up and crosses the street with his eyes still trained on the pair. He'll be honest with himself, it's something he can't really take his eyes off. Like he was watching a car crash. As he gets closer, he starts to hear a bit of their conversation.

"-this weekend?"

Damian pauses, looking thoughtful, then pulls out his phone, tapping the screen a few times. With his head lowered, the few strands of hair not held up by gel fall to his forehead, giving him a much more casual look. However, it's all disrupted when he runs a hand through his hair and looks back to her. Jason would have laughed at the audible hitch of breath from the girl if he wasn't distracted from the same action. "I have a few projects due next week, and then I have to help prepare for the hospital auction on Sunday."

She pouts, "Oh, that wouldn't happen to be the children's hospital, would it?"

"Yes," Damian ponders for a moment, "I believe your mother is on the guest list."

Jason catches her eyes and a bright tinge of pink stains her cheeks as she takes a small step away from Damian. The hellspawn doesn't even acknowledge Jason's presence and continues talking.

"If you attend, I could save you a dance." By god, he sounds sincerely earnest.

"I-I'll try to make it then...then," she blushes even harder, glancing back at Jason, "Bye, Damian." And then she hustles away.

It's almost scary when Damian's face drops into his natural faint scowl, directing it at Jason once she was out of sight

"You could have stayed away for a few minutes longer."

"Wanted to make out with your little girlfriend?" Jason teases, sidling over.

Damian scoffs, waving his hand flippantly, "Her mother is simple-minded. She donates more when she is in a good mood, and Leah attending is a major contributor. It's purely business."

Jason nods thoughtfully. That seems more on Damian's realm of doing things. There was always a motive. It was only natural that the kid would use the all good Wayne charm as another tool.

"So," Damian straightens, "what do you need, Todd?"

The older man mockingly places a hand over his heart, "Hurt, so very much hurt. Can't I just come see my younger bro without needing something?" He fakes wiping a tear from his cheek.

Damian rolls his eyes, "I'm hardly that,” then starts walking to exit the campus, but this time it's Jason that walks beside him.

"Okay let me correct you there. Your dad took me in so I grew up in that manor just the same as you, was fed by the same butler as you and if I had to draw a venn diagram of people we would consider family, " he gave a little air quote motion, "almost all of those people would be in the center."

"That is a very loose yet specific definition for brother."

Jason shrugs, "Yeah but that comes with the job. Anyways, yes you were right I do need something from you."

"What is it?"

"I need you to come work a case with me."

Damian raises an inquisitive brow at Jason, and that's not a good thing right now for the older man. "You could have sent a text or opt to shine an R up in the sky."

"True, but--Did you just make a joke?" And Jason is damned when the kid gave him a wry smirk that made him stumble in his boots. That was an interesting image in his head. Normally, Jason wouldn't think much of it if the kid were in the Robin gear, but out of the mask and with those bright baby blues and in civvies no less. The older man clears his throat and tries to alleviate some of the pressure in his pants inconspicuously as they stopped at the sidewalk. At this point, Jason has accepted that there is somewhat of an attraction to the kid. After that encounter in the Batcave, and furiously rubbing one out one, two, multiple times, it would be hard to deny it.

Jason coughs, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, "Anyways, yeah, it seems like you've taken up my section of the city while I was out, so it'd only make sense to ask you, ya know?"

The kid nods after a moment. "Tonight. I can meet you at one of your safe houses and you can debrief me on what you have in mind."

And just then a car rolls up and comes to a stop in front of them. Damian opens the door without missing a beat and slides into the passenger seat, revealing a familiar face in the driver's side.

Jason grins and gives a two finger salute, "Hey Alfred."

The old man gives Jason a fond smile, "Master Jason. I trust your trip went well?"

"Very."

"I will send you a message," Damian states, leaning over to grab onto the door handle and looking up at Jason through his thick lashes.

Jason's throat goes dry. He's almost sure that he's staring way too hard at the kid, whom to his credit doesn't flinch from it. So all Jason can manage is a quick nod. Then the door closes and watches the car drive and turn around a corner before he realizes that he wasn't breathing.

[jiwonsssi]

— stress relief, pt. 1

The difference with dealing with that stress is that he smokes, and she cries.

Warnings: smoking, swearing.

Characters: Eun Jiwon/Sandara Park.

Jiwon thinks that all these fashion events are so fucked up. He has been there for two hours and he's already exhausted like hell.

Eyes are blurry from all the of cameras that are everywhere. Everyone has that fucking thing. And everyone thinks that it's their own proud duty to stuck it in his face.

It is his first time attending these kind of meetings and the last. He doesn't even remember why he agreed. Maybe it wasn't even Jiwon who did that; there are too many people who can say 'yes' for him without asking his opinion in the first place.

He suddenly goes back to old days; Jiwon hates it. It was all fun being famous until they started being slaves for a shitty company. And it's nothing different.

He pulls out a pack of Marlboro and sighs.

There is no way he can quit smoking; otherwise he might kill someone out of nerves. He already has that reputation, it's enough fame of being crazy for one person. Although he likes it. It's so much easier that way.

Lightning a cigarette, he leans on a wall not caring about expensive designed jacket. It's just an ordinary black suit. He has something around ten of them. He's even sure that if he would change that one with one that he has at home - nobody would ever notice. And that's the most annoying shit about everyone whos out there trying to make themselves experts.

Fake.

Feeling how the smoke is going down the throat, Jiwon puts his hand in a pocket and looks at the nights skies. He just wants to get home and sleep. Moral exhaustion is taking all the good from him; he's not even tired physically.

Only God knows how much he abhors days like this.

Trying to make himself better in front of people he doesn't even know. It's his work, right?

The music from the afterparty that is still goes on suddenly becomes loud and he looks to the back door in front of him, being a little bit curious. At the end it's not even a place to smoke, he just found the most empty place which happen to be behind fire escape door. Jiwon just got prepare to bicker with anyone who would try to kick him out.

To what he wasn't prepared is for seeing crying woman appearing and then disappearing after noticing him right at that particular door.

His brain proceeds information slowly at first; he even forgets to exhale the smoke and when he coughs a few times, realisation becomes clear - that was Sandara Park and he's in rather, how to say, difficult situation at that exact moment; he's fucked up.

Jiwon hates seeing people cry. It's not about women, but in general. What should he do now? Go after her? Or stay here? Or.. what? She clearly went here to not to 'breath some fresh air', she wanted to be alone. Just like him.

Though she was in tears and that is the most tricky part about the whole thing.

Jiwon curses under his breath and throws unfinished cigarette at the concrete floor. Of course he would follow her. Like hell he would.

He clearly has a soft spot for her.

Just when his hand touches a door knob, metal cracks open, filling almost complete night silence with muffled music. And her sobs.

Jiwon tries his best to not panic. What should he do now? Saying 'wazzup hows it going' is not really a way to go, but he doesn't want to disturb her with that pathetic 'what's wrong? Can I help you?'. The struggle is written on his face when Dara passes him and stops a few meters away.

He should leave her alone. He would more of a disaster than a help. And so he does. Ignoring the increase of her sobs right after he closes the door behind him.

And than Jiwon is standing inside the crowded bar, filled with kind of music that makes him want to throw up with a persistent thought that he hates that place. Everything about it. All that chatting that has zero sense that goes on a loop around him; all the loud fucking music that gives him head-aches; all the people who only cares about image. It's sick.

There is one way for him and he's willing to follow it. Free bar. He's here to enjoy the alcohol and to get wasted. So he guides himself to the holy place when his brain proceeds better than him.

- Can I have a glass of water? And tissues.

He can't let her cry there all alone. Right? Jiwon doesn't think that he would be able to calm Dara down, but offering her some help is a reasonable act of being a nice man.

Jiwon receives what he asked for and goes straight to the back door, passing security guy who gives him a suspicious look and opens that door that now is more like hell-gates again.

- Hey, I..

He stops mid-sentence, seeing her on her hunkers with face covered by palms, while her bare shoulders are shaking violently. He doesn't even hear her sobs at this point; she's just shaking and.. it breaks his heart.

Putting a glass on the floor and tissues in a pocket, Jiwon is beside her in a second, getting down as well.

- Are you in pain? Sandara, come on, stand up, I'll help you, - he's not even sure if he can call her by her name. She reacts quickly with putting her hand in palm that he offered to help her ro stand up.

He really though that she was crying because she was hurt. But now, when he can see her trying to wipe her tears, he realises that she, in fact, isn't. Dara is exhausted. Again, just like him.

The difference with dealing with it is that he smokes, and she cries.

- I'm okay, - voice turns out to be crooked and unstable. Somehow Jiwon sees her in a perfectly new way now.

He doesn't like her crying, of course, he's not that kind of crazy. Jiwon remembers her as smiling and always hyped-up woman who invited him to one of the best dates he had ever been. It was so distant for him - thinking, that she really likes him and his hobbys just as they truly are. They, other women, always try to change him; his life-style and interests. So when she planned the perfect food and activities for him, he was.. more than impressed. Touched, even. And she enjoyed it as much as he did. Jiwon would never forget how happy she was.

And now he sees her crying her heart out because of stress. It breaks his heart as well.

Basically that is the thing that he finds the most troublesome.

- If you say so, - persuasion is not going to end well and so it's better to stuck with keeping a distance right now. He doesn't want to invade her space more than he already did.

- I'm sorry, I.. I didn't know you were here and thank you also, I just.. - she even tries to bow to him and Jiwon stops her immediately, being as gentle as he can let himself to be, putting his hands on her shoulders. Touching her now might be really offensive. Crying people - really hates it.

- It's alright, no worries. I've got you something, - he goes for a glass that he left on a floor and puts it right in her hand, making sure it won't slip, - You look like you are going to have a badass photoshoot with all that mascara situation on your face..

Jiwon finds it funny and adorable. Dara doesn't.

And so the glass she was holding of course slips out of her fingers and with a loud crack it breaks, water splashes, Jiwon curses and Dara closes her face with hands and cries again. Just ten times harder.

- I'm sorry, oh my fucking God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, please, I'm an idiot, please, - he continues to repeat the same things over and over again and he's panicking. He looks like a monkey now, desperately trying to make her look at him without touching her hands. He's in a scariest panic he had ever been for a past few years.

He's in a full panic mode, yes, but he didn't want anybody to interrupt them. Jiwon is not sure how to accept that he wants to deal with it only by himself now.

- Come on, I've got tissues if you didn't like the glass, - he pulls out some and steps on broken pieces, - See? Bad glass. Never gonna give you any glasses anymore.

He does it again a few times and she softly giggles through sobs and did that feel like a heart attack? Because he surely had one.

- Yeah, glass was kinda gross, - she jokes back and he doesn't bother to hide his smile. He's happy for no reason and it right after he made a woman cry. Crazy one, indeed.

Dara calms down just a little and then takes tissues out of his palm and he clearly can see tears streaming down her face.

He's so used to see her smiling. Jiwon just hasn't ever had an idea that she can be sad too.

- I didn't want to hurt you, for real. I'm sorry, - Jiwon feels bad. He really does. It's even funny how he nearly shitted his pants when she continued crying after his stupid joke.

- It's not you, it's okay, - she wipes her face carefully trying not to ruin that was left from make up that she had and Jiwon traces all of her movements, feeling like he's under some spell. It's almost soothing, - I just thought about how it's funny that I was trying to talk to you the whole event and end up ugly crying right in front of you.

Her smile is so sad and Jiwon is just silent. He doesn't know what to do, nor say. There is emptiness in his head and he tries to inhale fresh air deeper to make his brain work already.

He takes one of the tissues and slowly puts her hands down, with that strange dazing feeling inside still being present. Like all the smoke is now moved to his head.

Carefully wiping her cheeks, he follows now his fingers with a gaze and his main mistake is giving zero fucks about how shaking is she.

And she's going crazy.

- You look stunning, - he looks her in the eyes to finally realise that one of his hands is on the side of her neck, pressing firmly against now warm skin and with the other he tries to wipe mascara from her face.

And she blushes so fucking hard, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Jiwon has enough experience to say that that's where the kiss is happening. But judging by expression on Dara's face if he would even try to do it, she would fain.

First of all, he finds it shitless cute.

Second of all, what the fuck he's even thinking about?

Because he's suddenly not exhausted anymore. He forgot when he stopped thinking about himself and started caring about her.

- Thank you, - her tone is high-pitched and Jiwon smiles like crazy looking at her chin, nodding, silently saying that is no need to be thankful. It's an absolute truth.

Another tuth needs to be relieved - Jiwon is a sucker for moments like this. Yet he stopped paying attention to relationships quite a time ago, so now that long forgotten sensation is impossible to ignore.

He feels twenty years younger. And he was wild during that time.

- How can you still look attractive while crying? - making her blush is basically his favorite thing now. It's natural to be attracted to someone like her.

- Don't say that, oh my God, - Jiwon laughs when she turns her head on the side to not to look at him and smiles just so brightly, yet shy and.. happy. After seeing her drowning in tears, it feels amazing. And his hand still on her soft skin; her heart beat is erratic. Violent. Because of him.

Another heart attack for him.

- It's true tho, - she looks perfect. She was shining in front all that lights before; in front of everyone. It's not about expensive dress or make up. He knows that it's about her attitude. She's naturally beautiful. From the inside, as they like to describe it.

- You too, - she turns again to look at him and her lips are slightly pursed and.. He's going to die, how can a woman be looking that hot, stunning and pure at the same time? And she cried, like, two minutes before and now not even in her best state, - You also is very handsome today. I know that you don't like hearing it, but.. I'm..

She's panicking and Jiwon, being his bastard self, doesn't want to help her. Even tho he feels like his hands are getting colder like he's some teenager.

- You..? - he looks directly in her eyes, stepping a little bit closer, so close he can feel her breath on his skin; now looking at her with curiosity and open adoration. Jiwon adores her. And he didn't even drink today to have that type of feeling.

- I didn't mean that you look nice only today, you always do! - her embarrassment is written on confused flushing red face. Has he squeaked? Hopefully not.

- Okay, - smirk spreads by it's own will and he licks his lips, not caring about what's going on. Or how it looks. The only thing that's important for now is how she looks at him; he can swear no other woman had never had that pure interest in him in her eyes.

He's gone for. Thoroughly.

- Want me to give you a ride? - he proceeds what he said just after a moment she understands what he had just, in fact, said and now it's his turn to be in panic, - Fuck, no! Oh God.. home. I want to drive you home.

Or not.

Oh, God.

Dara giggles after a moment of silence and wide open shocked eyes; the next thing he feels is her tiny hand on top of his. Her delicate touch got him growling inside and he feels something that he wasn't actually physically ready to feel.

- I'd love to, - and she's elegant all of sudden. Dara plans a murderous assault on him or what? It's illegal, - Ask me that question again when we get home.

Because now she's gone for.

[vagrantblvrd]

This Heart of Mine (1/1)

Summary: “Michael,” Gavin whines, pawing at Michael’s arm. “Michael.”

The two of them are at the coffee shop again because they’re sad fucks who don’t know any better, and Jeremy - 

Fuck.

Jeremy’s in an old paint-splattered tank top and these equally paint-splattered jeans with rips in them and those muscles of his on display as he paints a mural for the coffee shop.

Notes: Miss-Ingno mentioned a remix of The Very Thought of You with Jeremavinwood, so.

AO3

“Michael,” Gavin whines, pawing at Michael’s arm. “Michael.”

The two of them are at the coffee shop again because they’re sad fucks who don’t know any better, and Jeremy -

Fuck.

Jeremy’s in an old paint-splattered tank top and these equally paint-splattered jeans with rips in them and those muscles of his on display as he paints a mural for the coffee shop.

Ryan asked him because he wanted to brighten the place up, give it some character.

The coffee shop smells strongly of paint even though they’ve got  the doors and windows open and fans going. In any other situation Michael’s sure it would have driven most of the customers away, but as it is, Jeremy has quite the appreciative audience.

Gavin makes this embarrassing little noise, and Michael looks over as he buries his face in the fur of the black cat who seems to think of Gavin as his human.

The mural’s some kind of forest scene looking out over a meadow as the sun rises in the distance. Sections blocked out where he plants to put forest animals, little “surprises” whatever that means.

It’s going to take a while to complete, but Gavin’s probably going to spontaneously combust before then if he keeps coming here to ogle the guy while he works.

“I know,” Michael says, as he pats Gavin’s back. “I know, Gav, I know.”

Michael’s not heartless, knows how rough this is on him because Jeremy, okay. Guy clearly works out and it shows, and Jesus Christ, it’s a nice sight.

One that only gets better when Ryan ambles over to Jeremy. This grin on his face as he talks to Jeremy who is up on a short ladder to reach the top of the wall.

He’s actually taller than Ryan at the moment, and Jeremy has to be getting a kick out of it when he grins down at Ryan. Hooking a foot around under a step for balance as he leans down and kisses Ryan, and Michael -

Shit.

Shit.

“Michael?”

Michael looks over to see Gavin watching him, frown between his eyes. All soft and worried, hand reaching for Michael as the cat hops off his lap with a little annoyed noise.

“I gotta go,” Michael says.

He’s supposed to go to Geoff’s for a Netflix marathon later. But he and Gavin have been so busy recently they’ve barely seen each other and Gavin wanted to grab a coffee so  they could say they’d at least seen each other more than just in passing.

Except now Michael’s having some kind of realization and it’s not.

It’s not even porn-worthy.

It’s just. The sight of Jeremy’s happy little smile, the chaste why, hello there press of the lips between Jeremy and Ryan, and suddenly Michael’s brain is like goodness gracious, that certainly is lovely isn’t it? the same way it does when he he falls hard for someone.

Christ.

“You're good from here?” Michael asks, because even in the middle of some kind of awakening he’s not that asshole. “You’re sure Meg’s coming to get you for your makeover party or whatever the fuck you guys are doing?”

Gavin looks concerned, but in light of Michael’s desperate deflection, lets it slide.

“What? Yes, you nob, and it’s not a makeover party, Michael.”

No, no. Never that.

Michael knows it’s just Meg hiring Gavin for a cosplay shoot with her and Lindsay, but he knows how those end up, alright? Knows that by the end of it Meg and Lindsay are going to sweet talk Gavin into letting them try out some new makeup or face paint design on him.

Will style his hair and pamper the fuck out of him, giggling and laughing as he feigns protest because he’s so easy for them. Lets them dress him up in “some old thing” they have laying around, like they didn’t plan on Gavin being a pushover for them the whole damn time.

Like he won’t come home with glitter in his hair and more dusting his cheeks. Looking like some kind of ethereal being because they can never resist and Gavin never tells them no, and Jesus fucking Christ, now is not the time to be thinking about that.

“Great,okay, bye!” Michael says, and ducks in to press a kiss to Gavin’s mouth before he realizes what he’s doing. Sees Gavin’s wide eyes, mouth open to ask what the hell that was about - and books it out of there as fast as he can because he’s clearly lost his goddamned mind.

========

Gavin, the fucker, texts him a picture of Jeremy and Ryan looking towards the door – presumably after the spectacle Michael made of himself- with these concerned looks on their faces and a strings of question marks after it because the asshole knows Michael too damn well.

========

Michael’s relationship with Gavin is complicated in the way it isn’t, which confuses everyone but them on a regular basis.

There aren’t any rules to it, is the the thing.

Nothing concrete, solid, for anyone to get a grasp of, some better understanding because things have always just been easy with Gavin.

They meshed well from the beginning, somehow able to understand each other without even trying, cultural differences notwithstanding. Michael's always appreciated that when everything else in his life was a confused mess.

There was never a moment where they sat down to talk about things when they started dating the first time. No moment where they made the decision to go from friends to boyfriends or lovers or whatever term people wanted to use for what they were, it just happened without them realizing.

Gavin pressing a kiss to his cheek when he got home from class one afternoon and Michael turning his head to catch Gavin’s lips. The easy slide from friends to something more like it was inevitable. This addition to their relationship that didn’t fundamentally change anything between them, and Michael had never given much thought to how unusual the whole thing was.

When they “broke up” a year later there was no drama surrounding things, just the two of them realizing it had been  awhile since they'd so much as kissed, let alone had sex.

Gavin waking Michael up in the middle of the night, frown on his face as he kissed Michael and his quiet little ”Huh,” afterward.

There was nothing wrong with the kiss. It had been nice, familiar in the way they knew each other and nothing complicated to it.

Certainly unwelcome, but not much else to it, really. Nothing like there had been with the first kiss and the one after that and all the ones that followed until they just petered off.

Michael’s sleepy smirk and, “You saying I don’t get you going anymore, asshole?” followed by Gavin’s squeaky laughter before curling up beside him to go back to sleep until their alarms were set to go off a few hours later.

He knew most of their friends hadn’t known what to make of it at the time, baffled at the way Michael and Gavin just went on about their lives like nothing had changed.

Gavin playing wing-man to Michael at parties and vice versa, and everyone but them expecting some kind of delayed reaction to set in. For accusations to go flying, furious, betrayed yelling or who the fuck knows, but none of it ever came to be.

And then they’d gotten back together after that for a few weeks, until they weren’t, and so on and so on.

It’s not sordid or unhealthy and fucked up the way some people looking in from the outside seem to think it is, it’s just the way the two of them fit together, and it -

It works.

It works because Michael's Michael and Gavin’s Gavin and it’s easy to slide into each other's beds from time to time. Sweet smiles and gentle touches and this unbreakable thing between them.

Never when they’re in a relationship with someone else because that is a rule they have others can see and understand, even if it’s always gone unspoken between the two of them. (Some things you just don’t do, and that’s one of them.)

It’s caused trouble in the past, this thing of theirs. Significant others who didn’t understand that Michael and Gavin are just MichaelandGavin no matter the turn their relationship takes. Couldn’t reconcile Michael and Gavin’s past relationship to their current one and how they fit into things, through no fault of their own.

Michael doesn’t know any other way to explain it than it just being them, but it always makes Geoff’s day when he does try because he’s one of the few who actually understands.

“Jesus Christ, dude, stop,” Geoff gasps, face split wonky ear to wonky ear with the force of his grin, dumb hyena laugh filling his living room. “Just fucking stop, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Geoff,” Michael says, because this is – it’s important,okay?

Real fucking important.

Gavin’s got the hots for Jeremy, who has the hots for Ryan (and is totally getting some because loving boyfriends and shit). Michael has the hots for Ryan, who has the hots for Jeremy (totally boning), and  now Michael thinks he might also have the hots for Jeremy, and – fuck.

It’s a mess. (Michael’s a mess.)

Because here’s the thing.

Michael likes Ryan a whole hell of a lot. The guy's smart and kind and funny. Unbelievably gorgeous, and he’s just. He’s great, okay? Ryan’s fucking great, but he’s also fucking Jeremy, which is only a problem for Michael, and he is dealing with it in his usual pathetic way. (Michael tends to get these hopeless little crushes, and it sucks, okay.)

He’ll fall hard for someone so far out of his league it’s not funny. Or he’ll fall for someone in a relationship with someone else, and Michael’s not the kind of asshole to begrudge someone their own happiness because he’s got the bad luck to fall for them, no.

He’s dealing with this Ryan thing, because he likes Ryan as a friend too much to want to risk fucking things up between them. He’s been making ground on that side of things, but then he actually met Jeremy, and he likes the guy, he does.

Jeremy’s this amazing ball of talent, total package and all that shit. And he’s sweet, too. All humble and shit, and he’s real soft on Gavin, the two of them getting up to mischief all the damn time.

Ryan likes Gavin too, Michael knows. Is one of the only people who doesn’t just humor Gavin when he brings up his ridiculous questions and hasn’t killed Gavin even though the little shit keeps bringing up the Coin Argument just to fuck with him.

And there’s this thing about Gavin, okay. This thing that has Michael bristling whenever someone looks sideways at him, Dismissing him as an idiot because he can’t explain things properly when he does pose his questions. Sounds like a moron sometimes, but he’s so fucking smart it’s a little alarming, really.

The fact that Ryan and Jeremy both like Gavin for being his fucking weird self will always earn points with Michael.

Michael feels Geoff’s hand in his hair, clever old man fingers knowing the best spots to massage to get Michael’s brain to go offline for a bit. (The booze Michael drank before this helps though, he’s pretty sure, even if that was hours ago and he can feel the world coming back into focus, bit by bit.)

“I know buddy,” Geoff says, still too fucking amused, but it’s a quieter sort now.

All soft edges that are definitely Jack’s doing because God knows Geoff was a mess until they sorted their shit out.

He says as much, words slurring just the tiniest bit while Geoff, the sober bastard, just looks amused.

“Hey,” Geoff says mildly as he raps the top of Michael’s head with his knuckles. “Fuck off, asshole.”

Michael snorts looking up at him and realizes that pretty much all of his relationships with his friends are complicated in the simplest, best way, and it’s fucking great.

None of this bullshit he grew up seeing. The kind where guys like them were freaks or whatever for being touchy feely and cuddling for the hell of it. Nothing gross or sexual about it. (No offense to Geoff, but no, Jack’s free to have that all to himself.)

Just.

Geoff.

The worst kind of asshole with a big fucking heart and always willing to listen to idiots like him bemoan their (nonexistent and yet somehow incredibly complicated) love life while they marathon some show on Netflix.

Geoff turns when the front door to his apartment opens and Jack’s voice reaches them, along with  the smell of pizza.

Michael’s stomach grumbles embarrassingly loud, which sets Geoff off again. His cackling catching Jack’s attention and Michael flails, hand snagging Geoff’s shirt when the fucker tries to dump him on the floor, dragging him down with him.

It’s a mess of Michael’s uncoordinated limbs and Geoff’s old man frail bones clashing before Jack clears his throat.

“Geoff,” he says, and Michael sighs at the amusement tucked in there with the heartbroken boyfriend discovering his loved one cheating on him with the neighbor. “If you’re going to cheat on me  could you be less obvious about it?”

Michael gives the fuck up and goes limp. So fucking done with everything as Geoff scrambles to his feet and goes to Jack, babbling nonsense he picked up from his terrible television show viewing habits.

All overblown melodrama about how Jack’s the only man for him and that Michael never meant anything to him -

“Fuck you Geoff, I’m the best you never had!”

- and please, please, please just give him another chance, he’ll be so good to Jack, and then he scurries off to the kitchen for pizza, because he’s Geoff.

Michael closes his eyes because the room’s spinning just the tiniest bit. When he opens them again Jack standing over him, mouth quirked in a small smile.

“Michael.”

Michael smiles back, because it’s got to be illegal not to when Jack’s smiling like that. All kind and benevolent forest god come down from his mountain hideaway to bless the puny mortals with his presence because they’re his favorite idiot race.

“Jack.”

“If you want any pizza you better hurry before Geoff shoves it all in his face.”

Michael groans, accepting the hand Jack holds out to him as he gets to his feet, grateful for Jack and his solid presence as he leans on him for a moment before his brain stops rolling around in his head and the world rights itself.

“Good?”

Michael nods, because there’s just something comforting about Jack in spite of the fact the man’s worse than all of them put together when it comes to being an asshole.

Like.

Stealth, about it, letting you make all these assumptions on him based on that placid front he puts on before springing the trap. All “Surprise, motherfucker!” and wheezing about it when you realize the horrible mistake you’ve made in befriending him.

“Considering, yeah,” Michael says, and flashes him a grin. “Sorry for trying to steal your man.”

Jack rolls his eyes as Geoff’s incomprehensible screeching from the other room.

Something about pizza and orgasms? Or maybe it’s that the pizza is so good it’s orgasmic? (Who fucking knows with Geoff.)

“At this point,” Jack say, “you can fucking have him.”

Jesus Christ, no.

Michael will take his stupid complicated mess of a (nonexistent and yet somehow incredibly complicated) love life over Geoff any day.

“Uh, fuck no,” Michael says. He’s not that far gone just yet. “Jesus no.”

Jack sighs, because his life is just the worst, isn’t it, and throws an arm over Michael's shoulder as they head to the kitchen.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you.”

========

Geoff, because he’s a dick, texts Michael a couple of pictures later that night.

Diagrams with hands that have been scratched off in the first one. The second one shows the hands holding each other with badly superimposed text Geoff added.

It doesn’t have to be like this. Michael has two hands.

Michael’s frowning at that, and then his phone dings with a new text and a picture that’s terrible enough for Geoff to have drawn himself. Michael deletes the moment his eyes land on it because fucking Christ.

The next message must have been delayed, but Michael knows what it’s going to say, based on Geoff’s crude drawing.

And a dick.

Jesus Christ.

========

Michael wakes up to cool fingers in his hair slipping down to cup his cheek, and he knows it’s Gavin even before he opens his eyes. (Fucking better be, really, or Michael’s going to call the fucking cops.)

“Gav?”

“Hey, boi,” Gavin says, grin in his voice as he sits on the bed next to him.

Michael squints at the bedside clock, which doesn't exactly shit for him without his glasses, so that’s awesome. (Also, those beers he threw back at Geoff’s are being a bitch.)

“What time is it?” he asks, taking the glass of water and aspirin Gavin hands him.

Gavin shrugs, fingers back in Michael’s hair massaging his scalp just so, and he sighs, eyes closing of their own accord.

“You want to tell me what that was all about, before?” Gavin asks, keeping his voice light, nonchalant. “You ran out in a hurry, boi. Ryan and Jeremy were worried something was wrong.”

Michael turns his head to press his face against his pillow and sighs.

He knew this was coming, knew Gavin would want to know what the hell had gotten into him, but he’d been hoping the asshole would wait until he was awake. (Wasn’t regretting the beers at Geoff’s, or just about everything ever.)

“Big gay panic?” he says, voice muffled by the pillow as Gavin goes from massaging with the pads of his fingers to scratching very, very lightly with his nails, and bites back a groan because that’s fucking cheating.

“Really,” Gavin says, and fucking stops, fingers still in Michael’s hair but just. Just sitting there, because he’s an asshole. “Thought you said you covered that bit back in high school.”

Michael growls, rolling over to face Gavin who’s this big,  blurry, infuriatingly smug lump next to him.

“Fuck off,” Michael says, and gropes toward the nightstand for his glasses, only for Gavin to hand them to him with this quiet laugh as he turns the lamp on.

When he puts his glasses on the world snaps back in focus, and Gavin’s just as irritatingly smug.

More so, maybe, because Michael can make out every annoying line and curve of his face. The odd angles of his nose and the slightly less ridiculous ones of his jaw. The way they’ve all been highlighted with the makeup and face paint he’s still wearing.

Subtle gradients and markings around his eyes, and it’s striking as anything they decide on ever is.

Meg has an eye for this kind of thing and Lindsay’s odd way of looking at the world the way so close to the way Gavin does complements her skill to create something truly stunning.

“You look like a fucking raccoon.”

Gavin pouts at him, peering at Michael through his eyelashes.

The girls went all out because Gavin has to be wearing mascara. No way his eyelashes are naturally that long and thick without Michael noticing before now.

“Aww, Michael. They worked so hard on it this time too, don’t be mean.”

Michael snorts, reluctant smile pulling at his lips. Gavin’s not horrifically ugly, and Meg and Lindsay know what they’re doing.

“S’nice,” he admits, laughing at the way Gavin bats his eyes coyly at him.

“Thanks, Michael boi,” he says, and then pokes at Michael until he moves over to make room for Gavin to lay down next to him, turning the lamp off as he does.

He can hear Gavin humming next to him. This fine thread of tension running through him almost overlaid by the air of Relaxed and Content he’s trying so hard to project.

Michael could take the out he’s giving him here. The option to pretend they weren’t on the cusp of having a Talk, but it’s not fair to Gavin.

“So.” Michael has no damn idea how to explain himself even though he’s had time to think things over. “Jeremy.”

Gavin makes this little encouraging noise, and Michael feels like a shitty friend because he knows how gone for him Gavin is, and yet here he is, listening to Michael be an idiot about his own crush.

“He’s not bad looking?” Michael says, turning it into a question.

When Gavin presses closer, line of warmth against his side and this wordless comfort and reassurance, Michael keeps talking,lets go of the the worry he’s been holding on to all day as he gains confidence. Fumbles his way through an explanation. The realization that he liked Ryan and Jeremy, and how fucked he was because it’s not like he could do anything about it with the way things were, and just.

“Y’know,” Michael says with a tired little laugh. “Just me being real fucking stupid.”

Michael kissing Gavin out of the blue because that’s a safe thing to want, to ask for because this thing between them is easy like that. No fear that it’s something Gavin would hate him for, or treat him differently for needing.

Gavin shifts around until he’s looking at Michael, this fond little smile on his face.

“Geoff texted me,” he says. “Sent me these pictures? One of them was a drawing he did and I’m still trying to forgot I ever saw it.”

Gavin shudders at the memory, but the dumb smile on his face tells Michael it’s for his benefit.

“Yeah?” Michael says, and reaches out to run his fingers across the face paint at the corner of Gavin’s eye, follows it down to his jaw. “What did you think about it?”

Because Geoff’s smart, knew if what Michael wanted was in reach Gavin would have to be part of it. That Michael couldn’t leave him out if he wanted, which he never would.

Gavin leans into his touch, pleased little noise in the back of his throat.

“Sounded lovely, Michael,” he says this want in his voice that hits Michael hard in light of all the thinking Michael did today, and that -

Look.

Michael’s great at wanting things he can’t have sometimes. Real fucking talented at that, but he’s not so blind, stupid, that he misses what’s right in front of him.

“C’mere, idiot,” Michael says, and Gavin smiles at him as he scoots closer, this slow, happy little thing that always warms Michael's heart to see it, know he has a hand in causing.

And then they’re kissing like it’s the easiest thing in the world and it’s good, it is, because Gavin’s in the same boat as he is, stupid bastards that they are. But that’s okay, it’s fine, because they have each other and that counts for a whole hell of a lot in the end.

========

Things are little easier after that, hurt a little less.

Crisis resolved, doubts and insecurities addressed, and a happy, loving relationship for all involved. That whole happily ever after bullshit, except you know, where they’re Michael and Gavin are both idiots. (Can’t win ‘em all.)

“Bloody hell,” Gavin sighs, chin on his forearms as he watches Jeremy stretch out the kinks in his back after working on a section of the mural.

The black cat’s curled around Gavin’s shoulders and purring up a storm, and Michael, okay.

Michael is only slightly better off because he’s actually studying. Has a test in two days worth a hefty chunk of his grade and he’d like to be able to get a better than passing grade if possible.

Gavin’s just.

Vegetating, really.

Playing with the cats and scarfing down coffee and pastries and giving his brain a rest after delivering a presentation that he’s been working on for weeks.

The fact that it also gives him to chance ogle Jeremy, and occasionally Ryan when he wanders by is just a bonus for him. (Michael has no fucking idea how he missed the way Gavin looks at Ryan before now. Gets this appreciative little curl to his mouth when the man smiles at them.)

Michael snorts at the look on Gavin’s face, almost as blissed out as his furry little passenger.

“Way to be obvious,” he says, but it’s not like Gavin’s the only one staring.

The coffee shop’s drawn in a certain level of clientele since Jeremy started on the mural. Always a good crowd in there, enough to keep things lively, and Ryan and Jeremy completely oblivious as to why business has suddenly picked up because they’re just that dense.

“It’s like - ” Gavin yawns mid-sentence, this wide,  jaw-cracking thing that the cat on his shoulders copies perfectly. “ - positive reinforcement or something, innit?”

In Gavin’s mind, it probably is.

Work his ass off for some dumb presentation and get rewarded for all of it not only with a  good grade, but getting to watch Jeremy and his glorious muscles. Get treated to Ryan’s smile and a cup of coffee and all the cats he can snuggle.

“Sure,” Michael says, and lets Gavin have this because it’s not hurting anyone.

========

It’s like something out of a movie. One of those shitty made for television ones with godawful writing and acting and everything really, because -

“Uh-oh.”

Ryan’s laughing, this sheepish, incredulous thing because the two of them are locked in the tiny walk-in cooler in the back of the coffee shop.

Michael doesn’t fucking know, okay, because it’s ass o’clock in the morning with just the two of them in the shop. Ryan asking for his help to move something back here, and the doorstop getting kicked out of place without either of them realizing it until it was too late. The broken latch that only opens from the outside now, and Jesus Christ.

“I probably should have gotten the door fixed,” Ryan mutters to himself, which.

Yeah. That would have been great, because they're locked in here and Michael’s phone is on the counter on the other side of the door. Ryan didn't even remember to bring his and they’re going to fucking die in here, aren't they.

Freeze to death like something out of a bad movie and goddamn, what even is Michael’s luck these days?

Jeremy’s not supposed to be at the coffee shop for a couple of hours, and they don’t get a lot of customers this early in the morning on the weekends, so.

“I mean, yeah,” Micheal says, blowing on his hands to keep them warm. “That’s definitely a  thing you could have done.”

Apparently he hadn’t, even with Jeremy reminding him about it just the other day, so, you know.

Ryan gives him this look, and it’s -

“We’re going to die in here, you do not fucking get to look at me like that,” Michael says.

He’s going for stern and failing miserably because Ryan looks very apologetic about this. All sad eyes and this little downturn to his mouth, and fucking seriously.

“Nah,” Ryan says, because he’s an idiot. “The worst we’ll get is maybe some hypothermia. Just a little! We'll be fine until Jeremy comes in to let us out.”

Reassuring.

“I’m really very sorry about this,” Ryan says, like that makes up for their ridiculously embarrassing deaths, but whatever. “Really.”

“Well then, in that case,” Michael says. “All is forgiven.”

Ryan laughs as he empties a couple of cardboard boxes and breaks them down before setting the flattened cardboard on the ground.

“The fuck are you doing?”

Ryan nudges the cardboard in front of the shelves facing the door and sits down, making a show of getting as comfortable as he’s likely to get in here.

“It’s comfy down here.”

Michael gives him a look, but Ryan remains undaunted. Just smiles at Michael and pats the cardboard again like it’s the best seat in the place.

“I can’t believe you,” Michael says, but Ryan’s little nest is more appealing than just standing around like a moron, so he shuffles over to join him.

He’s seen movies like this before. The aforementioned terrible made for television kind and the slightly less terrible ones that make it to the big screen. There’s always that moment where someone suggests they huddle for warmth, and right on cue Ryan clears his throat awkwardly.

“We should probably think about heat conservation.”

Michael slants a look at him.

Ryan gives him a winning smile, all good old boy from down on the farm who never meant him any harm, and it’s kind of exhausting, to be honest.

“Yeah?”

Michael snorts when Ryan scoots closer, but not too close. Not yet. Respecting his boundaries and shit.

“Well, I mean,” Ryan says, and this close, Michael can feel his voice, that little rumble when his voice dips lower for a moment. “Science.”

That.

Jesus, the man’s an idiot.

“Shut up, Ryan,” Michael says, and bridges the distance between them, bumping his shoulder against Ryan’s.

They're probably going to freeze to death in here, if they don’t run out of air first, and Michael's not going to lie when he says he never expected to go out this way. (Who the fuck would?)

“We’ll be fine,” Ryan says, wrapping an arm around Michael’s shoulders to pull him closer.  “Trust me.”

Michael grumbles, more out of principle than anything else because it’s cold in here, sure, but it’s not a fucking freezer. Ryan’s right that they’re not going to die from the cold, but it’s going to be unpleasant until Jeremy lets them out of here.

Really, really unpleasant, and also potentially embarrassing because Ryan and the touching and his voice. Ryan spinning story after stupid story about the shenanigans he and Jeremy used to get up to before they became (somewhat) respectable business owners.

Which.

“Please,” Michael says, grin tugging at his lips. “Neither of you are respectable anythings.”

Ryan laughs, and this whole mess is undoing all the progress Michael’s made in not being a creepy fuck. The kind of guy who doesn’t understand the concept of no, even if they’ve never talked about this. Never got to the point where Michael told Ryan that hey, he’s interested in him as more than friends because it’s painfully clear he and Jeremy are a Thing, capital ‘T’.

Sweethearts from way back, and still a sickeningly happy, lovey-dovey couple who only have eyes for each other. Michael’s been good, been so fucking good about things because he doesn’t want to lose either of their friendships.

Ryan gives him a concerned look when Michael shivers at the thought of it, because they’re amazing people. Understand Michael and Gavin on a level he hadn’t expected them too even before they started to do the dating thing again.

“Are you okay?”

Michael closes his eyes because Ryan’s voice is this terrible thing sometimes, and Michael’s a weak bitch.

“I’m great,” he says, and ignores the way it comes out so damn tired. “Never been better.”

He can feel Ryan watching him. Too damn smart for anyone’s good and then he sighs. Pulls Michael in even closer and rests his chin on the top of Michael’s head because heat conservation or some shit, Michael doesn’t fucking know.

“Hey,” Ryan says, a little too cheerfully. “Did I ever tell you about the time Jeremy set a bar on fire this one time?”

That.

No, but Michael honestly isn’t surprised.

“Do tell,” he says, grateful for the change of subject and new material to give Jeremy shit over later.

========

In a twist of fate, or luck, or whatever the hell you want to call it, Jeremy comes in early. Bangs around the coffee shop for a bit before he notices the two idiots yelling at him from inside the walk-in cooler.

“What the actual fuck happened here?”

Michael and Ryan are cold as fuck, but more or less okay. They weren’t trapped in refrigerated hell for more than an hour, an hour and a half at most. They just need to warm up and rest for a bit and they’ll be fine really, don’t look at them like that, Jeremy Mr. Pyromaniac Dooley.

“Uh, no,” Jeremy says, and calls Gavin to rat them out because he’s an asshole.

He makes a sign for any customers who might show up telling them the coffee shop is closed for the day. Tapes it up on the door and pulls the blinds down to give them a little more privacy.

Gavin shows up not too long afterward with his arms full of blankets, and joins Jeremy in fussing over Michael and Ryan like little old grannies. Tutting and tsking and worried, this look in their eyes that has Michael and Ryan submitting to their tender mercies with minimal protest.

Gavin keeps sneaking looks at Ryan. Clearly wants to go over and check on him too, but Jeremy’s got Ryan covered. Sitting next to him with their arms touching, heads bent together as they talk quietly.

He’s not quite wringing his hands because Gavin isn’t a frail Maiden Of Olde, but it��s enough for Michael to reach out and take them in his.

“Hey,” he says, when Gavin looks at him, all the things that could have gone wrong in his eyes. “Your hair looks fucking stupid.”

Crazy bed hair sticking up all over the place, and he’s wearing one of Michael's old shirts over a pair of sweats. Slippers jammed on his feet and just an overall disaster, and Michael still thinks he’s not terrible to look at.

Gavin opens his mouth to say something, maybe tell Michael that now isn’t the time for jokes, but then he deflates with this little sigh.

“Didn’t have time to primp,” he says, so much more in what he leaves unsaid.

Michael sets his the coffee Jeremy foisted on him aside and pulls Gavin in for a hug because they could both use one, it seems. He catches Jeremy watching them with this odd look on his face before he turns back to Ryan.

A little odd, sure, but given the situation, Michael doesn’t give it too much thought.

========

Ryan gets the walk-in cooler’s door fixed, and life goes on after their little not-so-close call like normal.

Except, you know, the bit where Gavin and Jeremy are very clearly conspiring together.

He can hear Ryan rummaging under the counter doing something, muttering to himself about where he put this thing or that thing, and did Jeremy move it again?

It’s weirdly endearing, because Ryan is a lunatic.

“Hey, Ryan,” Michael asks, all casual and nonchalant as he eyes the two idiots in question. They’re laughing about something in a dark corner of the coffee shop like that’s not suspicious. “Do you have life insurance?”

Ryan’s head pops up over the counter like some kind of demented gopher.

“...What?”

Michael shrugs, eyebrows lifting as Jeremy cackles at something Gavin said.

“No reason.”

It’s not like Michael actually believes Gavin and Jeremy are plotting their gruesome murders in order to collect on their respective life insurance benefits and all, just.

They’re not bothering to hide how obvious they are. Making a beeline for one another the moment they’re in the same room together. And looking over their shoulders as though they’re worried about being overheard.

Suspicious as hell, and if Michael had any fucks left to give, he’d be more worried about things.

========

“Those two are planning something.”

A week later and Gavin and Jeremy are still thick as thieves, but it seems as though Ryan’s finally noticed.

“You don’t say,” Michael says, chin in his hand as he watches Ryan break this little mystery down piece by piece.

Probably wants to make a murder board, get all organized about it. Stick pins in it to mark last known locations the two were seen colluding. Attach strings to it and shit like on all those police procedural shows.

Ryan gives him this look, like he knows Michael is being a little shit about this, but fucking seriously. He tried to bring it up before and Ryan was completely oblivious.

Just let Michael have his fun before he dies under mysterious circumstances.

“You mentioned something about life insurance?” Ryan says, but he’s laughing a little as he does because Jeremy’s just grabbed Gavin in a headlock and both of them are laughing like idiots, so.

“Don’t worry about it,” Michael says. “I’m sure they’re not going to cut the brake lines on our cars or slip cyanide in our drinks or anything like that at all.”

No, if those two are plotting their untimely demises, it’s going to be something unbelievably stupid or involving explosions. (Or both, really.)

========

“Well, this is familiar.”

Michael glares at Ryan, who seems oddly baffled that they’ve somehow found themselves locked in the walk-in freezer.

Again.

“I thought you got the door fixed.”

Ryan tugs on the handle, but the door doesn’t budge.

And then Gavin’s face pops up in the little window, manic grin on his face and Jesus fucking Christ, did he lock them in here on purpose?

“Gavin!”

Gavin mimes talking on his phone just as Michael’s phone dings with a new message.

Michael doesn’t check it, and Gavin gets this little frown on his face that Michael knows all too well. It’s the one he gets when Michael isn’t playing whatever little game he’s set up, isn’t falling for his bullshit and Gavin feels the need to up the ante.

He doesn’t know what the fuck Gavin’s thinking doing this, but Michael pounds on the the door for the asshole to let them out, and almost – almost – misses the sound of Ryan’s text notification going off behind him.

He sees movement behind Gavin, flash of purple – Jeremy? - and then -

“’It doesn’t have to be like this,’ Ryan reads, this odd little note in his voice that has dread pooling in Michael's gut.

When he looks up, Gavin’s gone and there’s no sign of Jeremy either.

It’s just Michael and Ryan and that fucking text that Geoff sent to Michael and Gavin all that time ago. The one that little shit must have sent to Michael just now, and then Ryan when Michael didn't check his phone like he was supposed to.

Jesus fuck, what the hell is Gavin thinking doing that? The two of them are one thing, one really fucking bizarre thing, but Ryan’s happy with Jeremy and vice versa and Michael’s happy for them and Gavin is too and they could have gone on like that indefinitely and things would have been...okay.

Ryan’s never shown any sign that he’s interested in Michael or Gavin and neither has Jeremy. Pipe dreams, and all that.

“’Michael has two hands’,” Ryan’s saying, and Michael can imagine the little head tilt that goes with that tone of voice perfectly.

Michael sighs, resting his head against the cold metal of the door, because the next part of Geoff’s text is the worst. He snorts when he hears Ryan’s choked little cough, but doesn’t turn to look at him. Doesn’t think he can, really.

“I - “ Ryan clears his throat, awkward sound Michael knows too damn well. “Michael, what is this?”

The traitorous part of Michael that’s always held out hope that maybe, maybe, there’s a chance for them somewhere, swears there’s something in Ryan’s voice that sounds almost hopeful.

Michael wrestles it back down and turns to face Ryan.

He doesn’t look mad or disgusted, although Michael hadn’t really expected him to because Ryan’s not a close-minded asshole.

“It’s - “

Nothing, Michael wants to say.

Just up and lie and tell him it’s one of Geoff’s shitty jokes that got out of hand. That Gavin’s being an asshole for the hell of it, but he can’t. Not with the way Ryan’s looking at him, not with the ugly little knot of hurt and want and guilt in his throat.

But Michael can’t look at Ryan for this either, too much of a coward even now that Gavin’s forced his – their – hand.

“I like you,” Michael says, and hurries to say the next part before Ryan interrupts, misunderstands what he’s trying to say.  “As in I like-like you.”

He takes a breath to steady his nerves.

“But I like-like Jeremy too.”

There’s this little pause, as Ryan processes that. The sound of him shifting his weight.

“What about Gavin?” Ryan asks, quiet, and so, so careful. “I thought the two of you were...dating?”

It’s hard sometimes, Michael knows, for their friends to know what’s going on between Michael and Gavin. This back and forth that changes at the slightest whim sometimes. Shift in the wind and they’re off sucking each other’s faces, a strong breeze and they’re back to being the bromance of the century.

Michael shoots a look at the door, lip curling.

“Not for much longer,” he says, growl to his words because he’s really going to kill Gavin this time.

“Michael.”

Michael feels...tired.

Just.

So damn tired.

It took him a long time to realize it’s never been jealousy when it comes to Ryan and Jeremy, just this low, steady want pulling at him. They’re gorgeous, and good, and things Michael wasn’t mean to have. And he’d made peace with that, thought Gavin had made his, too. That they could be with each other and not feel like they were just...settling. (They’re MichaelandGavin and that’s always been more than enough.)

“What do you want me to say, Ryan?” Michael asks, because he just doesn’t know anymore. “You’re happy with Jeremy, and he’s happy with you. I’m glad that’s how it is, you know? You two deserve to be happy and shit.”

Get married one day if that’s what they want, and everything else that goes along with their happily ever after.

“I’m sorry if this is - I don’t know, too weird for you or whatever, but it’s not like I was ever going to do anything about it, okay? I don’t want to be some kind of fucked up homewrecker.”

Michael swallows, words coming harder because he’s being good, doing the right thing even though though it sucks.

“I get if you don’t want to be friends or whatever after this.“ Too weird, some part of Ryan always wondering if Michael’s friends with him because he wants to be friends, or because he thinks he can somehow finagle his way into Ryan's pants and his bed. “It’s. Weird.”

It’s weird and stupid under it all because Michael’s dumb heart, and dumber brain.

He can’t pin this on Gavin because he’s hurting too. Hides it better than Michael does with the shit he pulls, but Michael’s known him a long time now. Knows how he gets when it comes to the important things like this.

“Just like that,” Ryan says, flat, toneless.

Michael looks at Ryan because he needs to know Michael’s serious.

“Just like that.”

Ryan cocks his head to the side, and Michael knows that little gesture. Gives ground when Ryan moves towards him, but there’s nowhere to go with the door at his back and Gavin and Jeremy somewhere on the other side.

“Ryan - “

“Jeremy told me,” Ryan says, all up in Michael’s face, and sometimes Michael forgets the height he has on him, just how big Ryan is. “Said I must be blind to not notice the way you look at me sometimes.”

He frowns, eyes flicking to the window set in the door before looking back at Michael.

“The way Gavin does.”

Something about the way he say that, says Gavin’s name, has Michael pushing forward. Forcing Ryan back a half-step.

Break his heart, sure. Do whatever he wants with it, but Gavin -

Ryan’s expression cracks, softens at whatever must be on Michael’s face.

“I thought he was mistaken,” Ryan says, quiet, soft. This note to his voice that Michael can’t figure out, and he falters. “I thought he was just seeing something he – we – wanted to see.”

That -

“What?”

Ryan smiles, this soft little thing as he looks at Michael.

“We like-like you two idiots as well,” he says, this blush high up on his cheeks. “But you started dating Gavin, and I didn’t see.”

That seems to be a problem that’s going around, doesn’t it.

“Huh.”

Michael doesn’t know what to do with this, really. Wants to trust that Ryan means it, but it just seems too easy, whatever that means.

Convenient and too good to be true.

Ryan lifts a hand, carefully watching Michael as he cups his face, eyes searching his.

“You do have two hands,” Ryan says, corner of his mouth ticking up, eyes gleaming with amusement. “And a - “

“Swear to God, Ryan, if you finish that sentence - “

Michael doesn’t know what he’ll do, but it’ll be something, okay? Because even now Ryan’s an asshole, and it’s reassuring in the oddest way. Lets Michael know that whatever happens that at least that will stay the same.

Ryan laughs, and it’s nice, it’s good, Michael melting into his touch.

That want front and center where Ryan can see, and he’s not. He’s not looking away from it, little glimmers of his own want in his eyes, the hand on Michael’s face, and Michael thinks it could be something if they try, the four of them.

Sit down and talk things out, lay their cards on the table and see how things play out.

“Why do I have the feeling Gavin set us up?” Ryan asks, hand dropping away from Michael’s face as he looks at the door.

That much is fucking obvious, isn’t it. The little shit trapping them in here and sending Ryan those stupid texts. Forcing them to talk about things without being able to run from it.

“I think I saw Jeremy out there too,” Michael says.

The way Gavin and Jeremy have been acting recently makes a terrible sort of sense now. Especially if Jeremy picked up on the pining Michael and Gavin have been doing over these assholes.

Saw it and confronted Gavin about it – or maybe it was the other way around because Gavin can be patient when he wants, but there are times he gets allover reckless and does the stupidest things. (Once in a while they pan out, go his way because Gavin’s one of the luckiest people Michael’s ever met.)

“Really.”

Michael looks at Ryan, sees the little tilt to his head, and then Ryan’s moving past him to the door.

Locked from the outside, or it was, but now the handle gives under Ryan’s hand easy as anything.

“Fucking hell,” Michael mutters, when Ryan gives him this look. ��Those fuckers.”

========

It’s not easy, this thing with the four of them. Not the way Michael's thing with Gavin is, but it’s worth it.

Definitely worth it when Ryan smiles at him just so, warmth and affection and this wonder to like Ryan can’t believes he’s this lucky.

And Michael sees it in Jeremy too, in Gavin. In himself, when he looks in the mirror. This delicate, fragile thing Michael’s still afraid to give a name to in the quiet moments.

Times when it’s Michael and all the doubts and concerns come crowding in before one of the others pull him out of his head. Reminds him that he’s not alone in those doubts and concerns, that they’re working at breaking them down together.

There are missteps and misunderstandings here and there the way there is in any new relationship. Learning the ins and outs of each other and the ways they fit together, the little quirks and oddities that make them the person they are three times over.

Little snags and snarls and obstacles they learn to navigate together, slow and careful and all moving in the right direction.

And there are moments when everything seems to come together almost effortlessly. When things are easy between them and nothing seems out of reach.

It’s not perfect, this thing the four of them have, but perfection is overrated anyway.

[perksofbeingawaifu]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @mongoose-bite!!! Crunchy is one of my favoritest fic authors and also one of the best friends I have made in this fandom! EVERYONE GO WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And while you’re at it, go read and leave a comment on his fics! I’m going to list twelve of my personal favorites below (altho I could go on and on and on until I run out of fics!). LONG POST TO FOLLOW!

Fuck: My Life 

eruriren, snk

A streak of bad luck leaves Eren desperate for cash, and desperate enough that making porn doesn't seem like such a terrible idea. He's young, he's cute, he's horny, and his favourite studio is currently hiring. It seems like fate up until he learns that his two most admired actors, whom he spent the majority of his teenage years appreciating, have recently retired.

Still, he is nothing if not determined, and he sets out to see if he can persuade them to make one last movie. And then he gets to know them as people, and things start getting complicated.

Reasons I like it: This is one of the first fics of crunchy’s I ever read and I was obsessedddd. I swear I would be checking my phone for an email on update day like >.> c’monnnnnn. It’s eruriren and super persistent but adorable Eren. Erwin is charming and crunchy’s Levi is always so understated and muted it makes my heart ache. I don’t even like porn star aus but crunchy always makes me love tropes and ships I don’t usually like. 

A Sound Like Breaking Glass

ereri, snk

Eren lives by the ocean in a peaceful, untroubled world with his classmates. He studies, dreams of going out to sea on the boats to see what lies beyond the horizon, spends his afternoons by the water's edge with his friends, and sneaks out at night more often than he should. His greatest ambition is to join the crew of the Wings of Freedom, but after making a disastrous first impression on Captain Levi, joining his company will be easier said than done. Despite the insults and the bruising, Eren is determined and he vows to do whatever it takes to impress the captain before the ship is out of drydock.

Reasons I like it: Ngl, it took me several attempts to get into this fic bc I at first thought it was going to be a pirate au? I have the worst reading comprehension I swear. But it is not, it is perfect and I love it and it is actually my absolute favoritest fic of crunchy’s so even though it is in the #2 spot here, second is best. :P The characters are charming and the scenery is beautiful and I can’t say anything more about it without spoiling it. ;3 BUT AHHHHHH!!!

Breach! And Other Stories

winmin, snk

A collection on one-shots written for Winmin Week 2014. Mostly canonverse.

01. Superior and Subordinate: Armin was conflicted. They were superior and subordinate after all, kept apart by rules and regulations and just plain common sense. But the heart wants what it wants, and it wasn't like there was much else that made Eren smile lately. 02. Stained Hands: Armin wasn't trying to wash away the blood with ink. 03. Alternate Universe: Erwin is too big for his umbrella. 04. Role Swap: Their first night together after Erwin is rescued. 05. Hurt and Comfort: Faded names remind Erwin of a boy he met long ago. 06. (Free Slot): Breach! Armin goes to the ends of the earth for an interview. 07. The End: Armin insisted on the hood.

Reasons I like it: you know how some fics can ruin you on a ship and you can’t stand it? Well crunchy single handedly rescued winmin for me. I still think about Breach! A LOT. THE WHALES. WINMIN CUTENESS! ARMIN! ERWIN! BLONDE GENIUSES! 

My Old Friend

ereri, snk

When Levi was a teenager, the unrequited love of his life was Eren, his best friend's father. Fifteen years later, Levi finds himself back in Whitecrest Cove to sell his late uncle's house.

This story was mostly written for Ereri Week 2015.

Reasons I like it: Imagine, it’s the swinging 2015′s at the height of the the dilf!eren craze, in walks crunchy and suggests...what if...gdilf!Eren. Women are screaming, babies are crying, grown men walking around in a daze because their minds are so blown. No, but really, it’s actually a very poignant story of Levi reconciling his childhood and then grief as an adult and reconnecting with Eren who is a surfing silver fox. It’s quite beautiful. 

Blood Of An Englishman

hartwin, kingsman

Harry's brains dried in the hot Kentucky sun. A fly landed on an exposed piece of his skull for a few seconds and then buzzed off. His blood seeped into the dust. In the distance sirens began to wail, and the crisp, elegant click of patent leather oxfords on concrete drew to a halt beside his ruined corpse.

“Oh dear,” someone said sadly, although Harry wasn't alive to hear it. He heard, saw, felt, and was, nothing.

Death is not another country. Death is the deep blue sea.

Or, the one in which Harry is officially dead, actually a wizard, occasionally a small dog, and utterly unable to keep his distance from his young successor.

Reasons I like it: This fic has everything, Harry Hart dead but kindof not dead. Suddenly a wizard. A femme fatale Italian milf sorceress. Eggsy’s cute lil butt. Magic. It’s some impressive world building and I prefer it to the sequel we got instead. 

Too Hot To Handle

erejean, snk

Jean has recently joined MI6's elite agents as 003 and he couldn't be happier. His career is going places, his degree is paid for, his job is exciting, if somewhat dangerous, and his handler is the beautiful Mikasa, whom he will definitely certainly ask out soon.

Until it isn’t. Until Mikasa is replaced by Eren, who Jean quickly decides is absolutely the last person he wants talking in his ear when he’s getting shot at.

Reasons I like it: Well first of all I had to include this bc it was a bday present for me. :P I think this might be the only fic of crunchy’s I’ve read from Jean’s perspective? And I love him. He’s a cocky lil asshole and I still scream over this line: “He couldn’t believe how lucky he’d been to score Mikasa. She’d transferred from Foreign Office around the same time he’d been given his double-oh designation, and not only was she incredibly efficient, but she was absolutely gorgeous. Jean had seen an awful lot of movies and TV shows; he knew how this went. Sooner or later his roguish charm and devil-may-care attitude would thaw her icy exterior and the sex would be mindblowing.” HELP. I”M SCREAMING. Also it has SUPER SEXY hairy Eren (because crunchy knows my kinks, shush).

The Beneficent Gentleman

hartwin, kingsman

An act of heroism sees an unusual offer made to one Eggsy Unwin; if he can get accepted he can go to Oxford, all expenses paid. All he has to do in return is pass his classes, and keep his mysterious benefactor informed as to his educational progress via the old-fashioned medium of the handwritten letter.

An AU loosely based on Daddy Long-Legs.

Reasons I like it: this is incredibly ambitious for a fic. It’s all in epistolary form aka letters. It’s quite an undertaking to write but the result makes it seem so effortless. Plus I like handsome benefactor from afar Harry. 

Season and Circumstance

hartwin, kingsman

Circumstance dictates that there must be a great distance between Eggsy Unwin and Lord Hart, but the seasons turn and bring them together, and seasons turn and pull them apart. Seasons always change. Circumstances must be acted on. A Regency AU.

Reasons I like it: Hartwin Regency AU? Need I say more? Also crunchy always writes the best frot scenes like...if you want quality frot, look no further than crunchy’s fics. 

Magic Does Not Make A Garden

ereri, snk

Levi grows his garden peacefully on the edge of the desert, until the day he finds a boy with wings dying of exhaustion and takes him in.

Reasons I like it: Fuck this fic makes me wistful and teary eyed and hopeful all at once. King of crunchy’s short fics by far. I think about this fic nonstop. It’s too short to spend time describing it, just read and be full of FEELINGS for the rest of the day.

A Bird in the Hand

ereri, snk

Little ever changes in the Underworld, and few visit, but the arrival of a single songbird foretells a coming change for both the Underworld and its god, Eren.

Spring is here.

Reasons I like it: Hades/Persephone AU!!!!!!!!! Except Levi is Persephone and likes to wrassle and is so full of life I love seeing him like this. Also crunchy describes Levi’s naked figure so beautifully in the water i started salivating and it was so powerful it inspired beautiful art of the heichou booty by syn (nsfw link).

The Hero Who Traveled To Faerie in Search of a Bride

yurabek, yoi

The king is dead and in accordance with the custom all worthy aspirants to the crown must set out in search of a bride deserving of the throne. For one soldier, distinguished in battle, it was not enough to seek a princess among the neighbouring kingdoms, because for many years his heart had pulled him towards the distant spires and violet hills of Faerie, a land forbidden to mortals, for so few return...

Reasons I like it: sexy elf otabek with long hair :O and brave knight yura. I love the descriptions of the four courts and Victor is so goddamn perfect. The world building is sublime and everything feels so lush and perfect. ayaaaa to visit the fae for a day... 

Under Neon Skies

sheith, voltron

After the battle with Zarkon Shiro finds himself in an alien city, on an alien planet. Here Zarkon rules triumphant, the Black Lion tame under his hand, and Shiro's own face appears on glowing billboards fifty feet high to advertise the arena fights as their reigning champion.

Shiro knows he has to get home because his universe needs him, but this universe just might need him more. He pins his hopes on the Blade of Marmora and learns that in this reality, Keith did not grow up on Earth...

Written for the Sheith Big Bang 2017. Not season 3 compliant.

Reasons I like it: i got to beta this fic but honestly crunchy doesn’t need beta-ing at all hahaha so it was a real treat to see it before anyone else. I love the alternate universe and the way it’s described so perfectly. Everything feels truly alien and you can feel Shiro’s loneliness. T_T And I love raised with the Blade Keith. He’s extra feisty. Also bc the most recent season has confirmed that alternate realities exist this is canon and nothing you can say or do will convince me otherwise.

The Garden of Wild Roses

allurivan, voltron

The galaxy might now be at peace, but Allura is not. A warrior without a war, a princess without a kingdom, she decides to tuck herself away for a while, take a well earned break and work out what to do with the rest of her life.

Earth is the obvious choice, the planet still coming to grips with a crowded universe but almost untouched by the recent war. Shiro organises a long holiday smoothly and swiftly, and it doesn't occur to Allura to ask if she's the only lonely alien he's installed in the village of his childhood.

Reasons I like it: Okay i know, i picked 13, but that just goes to show you that i’m a liar. This fic has so many wonderful character analyses and I love how it shows Allura coming to grips with a war that has been won. And also I’m a slut for good pussy eating scenes what can I say. 

[kimjauhiainen]

“Tremors” – welcome to perfection

(originally published on Talkbacker.com on April 8, 2014)

You only need to catch a glimpse of the “Jaws”-parodying poster for “Tremors”, and you’ll know exactly what to expect. These filmmakers aren’t about to throw blood and guts or dark stuff at ya. This is strictly tongue-in-cheek; there ARE underground monsters, they eat people, there will be deaths, but there will also be hilarious dialogue, great characterizations, gorgeous desert vistas, and some high-quality filmmaking and practical effects-work here.

Someone should deserve a special award for casting Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward as the main protagonists in this film. As we are introduced to Valentine “Val” McKee (Bacon) and Earl Basset (Ward), the instant and natural chemistry between these two is palpable. It’s a match made in movie heaven. Val and Earl wake up in the desert, in true cowboy-style, one sleeping in the back of their pickup truck, the other sleeping under it. The cowboy analogy actually reminds me of another great pairing, Butch and Sundance. That’s probably the closest comparison of the character dynamics that’s going on between Val & Earl.

Val is the younger one, a dreamer, a womanizer (with a very special list of qualities he expects from a woman: “You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won’t quit and legs that go all the way up.”) and the more restless soul. Earl is the older, wiser, laconic, practical man. But the unifying quality of both Val and Earl is, they are not the all-knowing, all-powerful movie heroes. They are actually both kinda…dummies. In a good way. In an entertaining way. I don’t know how much Bacon and Ward hung out or rehearsed before the shooting of this film, but they are clearly having a blast with their characters. Most of the stuff they do has a spontaneous, improvisational feel to it. I would certainly like to see them work together again sometime.

Earl Bassett: “Is this a job for an intelligent man?” Valentine McKee: “Well, show me one and I’ll ask him.”

Val and Earl are the for-hire “handymen” in the Town of Perfection (population 14), located in a vast Nevada valley surrounded by mountains from all directions. As the town’s survivalist nut Burt Gummer (more about HIM later) states: “that’s why we chose this place. Total isolation.” Besides Val and Earl, the township consists of: storeowner Walter Chang (the great Victor Wong), pottery maker Nancy (Charlotte Stewart) and her daughter Mindy (“Jurassic Park”‘s Ariana Richards), Melvin (Robert Jayne), Dr.Wallace and his wife (Conrad Bachmann and Carol Marcus – I mean, Bibi Besch), Miguel (Tony Genaro), Nestor (Richard Marcus), Old Fred (Michael Dan Wagner), Edgar Deems (Sunshine Parker) aaaand of course, the aforementioned Burt Gummer and his wife Heather (Michael Gross and Reba McEntire). Also in town is a graduate student of seismology, Rhonda LeBeck (Finn Carter), who is the EXACT opposite of everything in Val’s list, but it’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen there, isn’t it?

Earl Bassett: “We gotta run. We’ve got a schedule to keep.” Valentine McKee: “Yeah. See, we plan ahead, that way we don’t do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.”

But as the story begins, the number of characters begin to decrease. In fact, one of them is already gone at the point where the movie begins. As Val and Earl finally have had enough of this shit (literally, as emptying a septic tank blows in their faces), they come across Edgar Deems, sitting on top of an electrical tower. Edgar, who apparently was a town drunk, has actually died from dehydration. As the doctor diagnoses, he’s been sitting up on the tower, probably for days. Here’s the first sign, that something’s rotten in Perfection. Well, UNDER it, to be more precise.

Now, the director, Ron Underwood, does even more emulating from “Jaws” that just the poster. The underground creatures appear mostly off-camera for the longest time, much like the shark. The following attacks on people, Old Fred and the doctor and wife, are filmed very efficiently, adding mystery to the monsters while also showing their viciousness and extreme strength, as the doctors wife is sucked inside the ground while hiding inside a Ford station wagon! These creatures mean business. Also, two road-construction workers who are working on the only road in and out of town, get quickly dispatched and the resulting rock slide cuts Perfection completely off from the outside world. The scene includes a brilliant physical jackhammer gag, that’s like something right out from a Warner Brothers cartoon. And in this latest viewing I noticed, that there are a LOT of cartoon gags in the film.

Underwood is clearly using a Tex Avery-playbook in the way he shoots action, and it adds an extra level of fun to the overall tone of the film. Especially the demises (spoiler there) of each of the creatures are a carefully balanced mix of cartoon and grossness. From a creature coming in contact with concrete at full speed with a big “boink”-sound effect into the last one taking a Wile E. Coyote-swan dive off a cliff. And in the end of the second act, a creature entering “the wrong goddamn rec room” – Gummers’ basement – and getting drilled with more bullets than in your average John Woo film.

The Gummers. Ahh yes, the Gummers. Let’s talk about them for a bit.

Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that? Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse Earl Bassett: What the hell do you use it for? Burt Gummer: My cannon!

Until “Tremors”, Michael Gross was basically known as the liberal, ex-hippie father Steven Keaton in “Family Ties”. One day after filming the last episode of that show, Gross began filming “Tremors”. Now talk about switching gears; Burt Gummer is a polar opposite of Steven Keaton. He’s a paranoid survivalist, definitely right wing, a gun nut with a capital “N”. The Gummer home is basically a bunker, set up for end-of-the-world conditions. Or as Burt states after the monster attack: “Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter…” That tells all about good old Burt’s world views. As does the license plate of his car: UZI 4U.

His wife Heather is played by country singer Reba McEntire in her first film performance. She does a damn good job too. Heather is likable, but also just as tough-as-nails as Burt and can certainly handle guns as well.

The creatures – Graboids, as they have been known since, in sequels and TV-series alike – are designed by Tom Woodruff and Alec Gillis’ company Amalgamated Dynamics and they are some of the best and most realistic creature work that’s been ever put on screen. Basically pre-historic worms – although the characters are trying to make up all kinds of explanations for them, from being aliens to government-built monsters to be used against invading forces. AD has worked on the “Alien”-franchise since “Aliens”, and one can see that the “double-mouth”(biting tentacle tongues shooting out from a larger mouth) has evolved from the star-beast’s similar one. These creatures are strong, fast (moving like armored freight trains underground) and smart. That is always a welcome thing in monster films. Graboids are constantly adapting, and the means that the heroes use to avoid them, don’t necessarily work for a second time. Of course they have a weakness, this time it being loud noises, as they basically sense everything by vibrations. Smart, almost “National Geographic”-approach. Nothing hokey or supernatural. Just the way I like it.

Earl Bassett: “Hey Rhonda – you ever seen anything like this before?” Valentine McKee: “Oh sure, Earl. Everyone knows about them – we just didn’t tell you.”

Pretty soon the remaining residents of the town are forced into exile, trying to escape into the mountains while pursued by the hungry beasts, the final confrontation happening on the edge of a tall canyon. “Tremors” was shot – with the exception of two sets – on location. Outside in Lone Pine, California. And you can basically SMELL the desert, and the heat,  in every frame of the movie. The setting, as well as the look of the town, evokes memories of the great westerns. In fact – the third sequel for the movie IS a western, going back in time to the golden years of Perfection.

Too bad the sequels are of diminishing quality, adding unnecessary sci-fi elements (such as FLYING Graboids, WTF?) and poorer quality effects. The unifying element in the sequels (as well as the quickly cancelled after 13 episodes TV-show) is Michael Gross’ Burt. But to be absolutely frank, Burt Gummer is not a leading man. He works best in small doses. The driving force in this film is the tag team of Val & Earl, arguing, bickering, rock-paper-scissoring through near-death scenarios and finally coming up as winners (spoiler).

I’m sensing a pattern in my reviews (besides all so far being from 1990); “Tremors” was only a modest hit at the box office, but it went on to become a huge hit on home video and subsequent media. But as I go through my lists of great films, such seems to be the case with almost all of them. “Tremors” is funny, well-paced, beautifully shot thrill ride, with wonderful characters and rich, quotable dialogue. If that is not the sign of a cult classic, I don’t know what is. Ron Underwood proceeded to direct films like “City Slickers” (keeping up with the western tone from this film), “Heart and Souls”, “Speechless” and finally “Pluto Nash”, which basically killed his mainstream career, reducing him into mostly a TV-director.

Too bad – perhaps another low budget monster movie is what he should try again…?

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

St. Vincent by Immo Klink for Spex Magazin für Popkultur #376 (September/October 2017)

English translation thx to a lovely L chat anon: After the success of her last album, what's next for St. Vincent? Three years, a Grammy, a successful series of concerts complete with weirdo costumes, her own guitar design for people with breasts and a magazine cover with Marc Jacobs. "New York" is her latest haunting single that yearns for older times, and expresses love for her adoptive home. The song's style also refers back to the musical simplicity of Clark's previous work. An uncomfortably hot Summer day in London would have passed as some bizarre fever dream, if before the release of her latest, and as of yet untitled new album, St. Vincent was drinking Berlin beer with our editors and happily giving the inside scoop. Despite meticulous planning prior to the interview in July, its spontaneous nature meant it was hard to know what to ask. Annie had recorded two purposefully blurred guitar songs, one to be discussed before the conversation and one during. A female assistant dressed in a black cape and some extravagant shoe-work acted as door woman to the entrance of a room at Park Studios containing a wooden box, the inside of which was painted neon pink. Inside sat Clark like a high priestess in black light. An appropriate setting to share secrets. However, she is at first rather silent when asked concrete questions about new songs, but in the end the setting works conclusively. The discomfort is part of the concept. Interviewer: Annie, thank you very much for the mysterious reception. Will you now foresee my future? Annie: (laughs) We will see. I: It smells very good in here. Is that incense? A: The scent is coming from a candle. Meetings should be an experience for all the senses. I: You said once that for every album you've had a figure in your head around which all themes have been built. For Strange Mercy it was alcohol dependence, the bored housewife, with St. Vincent a cult leader. What has been in your consciousness regarding these songs? A: Manic Panic meets Poison Ivy from The Cramps. I: We are currently sitting in a pink, florescent box. There seems to be a color concept happening here. A: Yes, the color palette for this album is completely florescent. Florescent colors are very bright and at first seem cheerful, but can soon become too intense and then aggressive. This is exactly like my coming album. I: Would you consider this album to be the logical next chapter following St. Vincent? A: I don’t know whether you can apply logic to music. Before I wrote the new songs I knew only three things. I wanted the songs to be strong and powerful. I wanted to programme beats. And I wanted a steel-pedal guitar. I began with these three anchors. I: Most of social media expressed surprise regarding the fact that New York was not a guitar-based song. A: Really? I put so much guitar in it. I: So was it your plan to not make a rock record? A: I’ve never done it before. I definitely wanted to have big guitar moments on the album. Have I ever really made a rock record? So far very few people have heard the new songs, and there isn’t much known about the album. I’m looking forward to the interpretations and criticisms. But if someone doesn’t feel it’s a guitar record, should we not question both possible realities? I: Possibly. Do you already have an album title? A: Yes, but I still can’t reveal it to you. I: Perhaps then we can speak about something more tangible. You current tour is named after one of your new songs “Fear the Future”. A: This is intended to as an order; be afraid of your future! I: What should we be afraid of? A: Oh boy! We are living in insane times, and it’s only getting worse. I don’t know if you’ve heard: America has chosen Donald Trump, a woman hater and compulsive liar, as its president. America has said to someone like this: “You seem to be the right leader!” I: Do you believe Trump will complete the four years of his term? A: That would shock me. The countless scandals within the first six month of his presidency have sustainably ruined his reputation. Besides, I don’t have the impression that being President suits him very well. The only possibility we have of getting rid of this fear of the future is to name these things. “Fear the Future” means I am trying to regain control and make something constructive out of all the chaos. I: What strategies do you follow in order to cope with these fears? A: I don’t sit around all day worrying about the future. Today more than ever the personal is political, and the political has become personal. A lot of us move around in this world alone, meanwhile for many people it is a political act - for a great many marginalised people it is naturally the latter case. I have long thought about what I can do. Some of my friends are politically active, for example in the Black-Lives-Matter movement, or have previously worked for Obama’s administration. It seems to me most sensible to use the platform I have with my music to, for example, raise money for Planned Parenthood or other charitable organisations. I: At the beginning of this year you celebrated your directorial debut with the premiere of The Birthday Party. You chose to present your film not as horror, but as a black comedy. What role does humour play when it comes to fear? A: The absurd is definitely our zeitgeist. To go further, to drive the whole thing to the extreme, can be incredibly funny. I: Does this exaggeration work for you as catharsis? A: Definitely. The album deals with the themes of power and seduction in such a striking way that one could almost feel it as fraud. Sexuality is no simple matter, but I present it in a very obvious way, wherin there is also a lot of humour. I: I also heard the new songs as asking for a conquest. A: Songs sagen manchmal mehr über denjenigen aus, der sie hört, als über den Künstler. Ich kann also nichts, dafür,, wenn Sie überall Vaginas sehen (laughs). I: With all the careful production before release, does it not bother you if you feel you are misunderstood? A: I put a lot of time and energy into this record. I love this album. However once it is released there is nothing I could possibly say or do to make you love it just as much. That is out of my hands, and that’s the way it should be. It is no longer mine, it belongs to everyone who hears it. I can at most give you a pair of important details: I recorded majority of the album in my studio in Los Angeles. The rest I recorded in New York. I: In New York you give a nostalgic look back at a place that appears to no longer exist. Is New York still the city you… A: ...love the most at heart? Absolutely! You know, every love is complicated. For me it simply stopped being my main place of residence. In the end I started spending a lot of time back in Texas, or I was working in my studio in LA, so just wasn’t in New York anymore. I: Nostalgia can also be another way of reacting to current unpleasantness in the world - a very comfortable one. A: I have a terrible memory, therefore nostalgia doesn’t really work for me. I don’t think the past tense is all that helpful anyway. Of course can learn from their mistakes, this has made the history of mankind. Earlier grief is inflicted again and again, but prevents us from moving forward. I: A common thesis states that certain adverse circumstances can strengthen cohesion and solidarity in disadvantaged communities. A: Yes, but the most important thing for marginalised people now is to not fight one another. A byproduct of patriarchy is women fight other women. That helps no one. I: In Germany there is a lot of hostility among left currents, when their principles really belong together in solidarity. For example in feminist circles. A: Yet feminism is not a fixed idea, it is constantly changing. There is place for diverse stances. Feminist ideas find themselves in an ever wider context, on which they may have stumbled along the way. At home, I also know that women are mutually shamed, because one does not correspond to the ideal. It is unhelpful to argue about whoever embodies feminism. I myself do not engage myself with a group, but prefer to let actions speak. Being a strong, independent woman is for me the strongest sign. (A bell sounds) I: Is our time already up? A: Almost. I have a few answers recorded. Would you like to hear? I: Of course! A: (Plays around with her mobile phone until a distorted voice rings out) “David Byrne’s brain is a national treasure.” (noise) “The name St. Vincent comes from a Nick Cave song called ‘There Goes My Beautiful World’. It refers to the line ‘And Dylan Thomas died drunk in St. Vincent’s Hospital’.” (noise) You knew that, or you would have said so. Thank you for not asking. I: You’re welcome. But since we’re talking about names: Who is this Johnny you keep singing about? A: Johnny is a recurring character who has accompanied me for three albums now. For me he’s like a friend, a family member and a fiance. I: But now he lives on the street. A: There’s always hope.

______________________________ Buy the issue here Original translation post from L Chat

[diamond-song42]

Pone Reviews 25: Friendship is Magic, Part 1 and 2 Welcome to the 25th installment of Pone Reviews! I know 25 doesn't seem like a big deal, but I wanted to do something special anyway. 25 felt like a number to focus on another two-parter, and what would this show be without the two-parter that started it all, "Friendship is Magic!" I won't keep you waiting. Let's dive right in! Because this is the series opener, it doesn't really have a moral. Instead I'll look at each of the situations that solidified our Mane Character's primary characteristics. Applejack's seems to make the least sense. How exactly does reassuring your friend they won't fall to their doom show honesty? I'm having trouble connecting the two. Applejack could have lied and let Twilight get hurt, so it could have gone either way. Is it because Twilight realized Applejack wasn't fibbing? I guess so. Fluttershy's is straightforward and really stresses her kindness, love of animals, and initial, well, shyness. In contrast to Applejack, which revealed the honesty part and nothing else. And what better animal to stress kindness with than a big, (seemingly) scary manticore? Now how about Pinkie? I think her bubbliness was made concrete early on and this helped stress that. Laughing at trees doesn't really reveal much about a character. And I can't think of an episode after this where this concept was referenced again. As for Rarity... damn, that's deep. Yes, it shows her generosity and fashion-forwardness. But I'm pretty sure that's one of the most generous things Rarity has ever done. How long did it take her to grow that tail? And the loss of her tail clearly hit her hard, yet she shook it off and continued on. For Rainbow Dash, the Shadowbolts help showcase her loyalty, love of the Wonderbolts, and ego. There's really not much more I have to say about that. And Twilight didn't really have one, but I think the magic part is enforced through her studies with Princess Celestia. Overall, I'd say they were good stepping stones for viewers to get to know the Mane 6. So what about the opener as a whole? It doesn't have the same charm as other MLP two-parters, which is to be expected. But I think it does a nice job of introducing the characters. It pushes more characteristics of theirs that are just as common as their element traits. Twilight is (initially) an antisocial book lover. Pinkie loves parties and throwing parties for everyone in Ponyville. Rainbow is into speed and pranks. Rarity is the most stylish. Applejack is devoted to her family. And Fluttershy doesn't open up so easily. The opener also pushes some habits of Spike, primarily his notetaking duties for Twilight and how he gets tired easily due to being a baby dragon. Besides the characters, the opener sets some of Equestria's lore in stone that is mentioned again later on. Nightmare Moon and the two princesses. The Castle of the Two Sisters. The Summer Sun Celebration. The Elements of Harmony. Golden Oak Library. All big aspects of the show. This beginning of the franchise feels so simple compared to later two-parters (such as the most recent "Shadow Play"), yet it instills in viewers a love for these characters and message that friendship is magic. And it's marvelous. Now here are some of the smaller things I enjoyed about this opener: *APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE *Steven Magnet is such a doll. *I find it interesting how each of the Mane 6 (sans Twilight) has a major role in the Summer Sun Celebration. We see in "Celestial Advice" that Celestia knew about these ponies... maybe they were nominated to play these big roles for the Celebration on purpose? *Princess Luna's design after being defeated doesn't feature her flowing hair and depicts her with slightly different coloring and stature. I like how it emphasizes that Luna has been essentially drained of her evil magic and must restart. *While I like Assertive Fluttershy as much as the next guy, it is adorable to see her meek side here. *The design of Twilight's Canterlot library is pretty sweet. *The Shadowbolts! The Shadowbolts are so cool. We need more Shadowbolts. Shadowbolts forever. *Apple Bloom wins best face of the episode. YOU KNOW WHY. And now here are some moments where I felt everything went a little flat: *Some of the animation errors, such as Celestia missing her legs and Pinkie missing her ears after Nightmare Moon is defeated, are too noticeable and they bug my OCD. *Why would Twilight, the most detail-oriented pony in the show, somehow miss the fact she pours a gallon of HOT SAUCE into her punch? *We have never seen Manny Roar the manticore again and it makes me sad. *I acknowledge that Spike hugging Twilight is pretty cute, but isn't he choking her? His arms are right around her neck. *How does that chariot stay in the air? *I expected a 1000+ year reunion to be a lot more sentimental. Overall: The start to a legendary fandom that has changed my and so many others' lives forever. Not perfect, but it still has charm. 4 out of 5 rainbows 🌈🌈🌈🌈 That closes today's edition of Pone Reviews. Come back tomorrow for a review of an episode with a memorable cameo by a certain grey Pegasus... what was her name again? And if you're following me on Twitter @diamondsong42, don't forget to vote on my future Pone Reviews subjects! Diamond out!

[holographicthrones]

The air was warm and the trees buzzed with cicadas, the way that summer clings to the atmosphere even late into the night. The sun was almost gone, but there were still a few souls wandering the park, hands held by lovers, parents coaxing their children home before the mosquitos began their feast.

the world feels different in moments like these, it’s like the sounds of life start to feel far away and all too close at the same time, and all you can hold onto as reality is the humidity in the air you breathe, and the smell of the grass mingling with the trees.

i was sitting alone with my feet dangling on the edge of a pier overlooking a lake in the park, turned away from the people packing away the adventures of their day. The book I’d brought with me as a safety net in case the loneliness of visiting a park all on my own started to eat me up, resting long forgotten in my lap, the bookmark never having left the first page. I was enraptured by the ripples of life in the lake, lost in my misery and circling thoughts. i often came to this park to get away from the noise and bustle of a busy life, but when the noise became muted, i started coming to escape the silence, escape my mind. But beautiful vistas and the tranquil melodies of nature were never enough to drown out the thoughts that haunted me. No matter how full of life the pastures before me were, it was never enough to distract from the ghosts that lingered in the corners of my eyes.

I couldn’t remember how long I’d been stuck there, a statue watching the days and nights tick by into years. Had it been minutes? Mere moments ago, i was trying to trudge through the paragraphs of my book, lose myself in someone else’s tribulations and life lessons, walk with them on their journey. But if the sun was setting behind my back, then it must’ve been hours ago. It was clearly getting late, but i couldn’t seem to muster the strength to stand and leave, the foggy haze around my mind making it impossible to find the switch to turn me on again. I hadn’t even gotten to know the character in my book very well before i gave up on them, i hadn’t ventured very far in their story before my energy gave through.

Who was i before i became the statue by the lake? Perhaps I’d lived a full life, dripping with mystery and adrenaline, love and heartache. Or maybe there was an adventure yet to be had, patiently awaiting me back home. Some grand scheme concocted by the author spinning me a web of experiences, only for me to be caught and eaten alive by problems too big for me to tackle. But I’d probably come out just fine, stronger and braver than ever, because a main character always learns and grows when they’re handled by a good author. I definitely would not make a good protagonist, perhaps i was a villain without a hero to fight, or a supporting character without anyone to, well, support. But if i were a villain, it didn’t seem like i had any good cause to be making mischief, i didn’t have enough passion in my veins to light so much as a match, much less burn down a city. If i were a puppet in a cosmic play, though, my strings must’ve come undone, because there was no movement in me left, no meaning to the gestures i made.

It occurred to me that maybe i truly was just a statue here, plaster for skin, blood turned to cement, concrete bones, i was just some artists rendition of a sad soul, withering away with the years. Rot boring away the integrity of my design as the weather washed away my details.

In that moment, in the twilight of a nondescript summer night, i had no identity. No history, no future. I had no body to possess, i was a floating consciousness, barely there, just present enough to stay in place against the breeze. The lake carried away a piece of me with each rippling wave, and my vigor went chasing after the receding sunshine. The forest at the edge of the lake seemed to come alive the more i disappeared with the sun, it’s breaths picking up into huffs and puffs, until it all but blew me away. It shuffled through the leaves of my book, curious to discover the happy ending of the hero within, begging me to share the contents of the story. It sent its buzzing minions my way, they bit at my arms but found nothing to sate their hunger.

It felt as though the forest was checking if i was still alive, urging me to awaken and go back to the life I was meant to lead. When i neglected to respond to its beckoning, it gently blew leaves into my lap, as if to ask if i was a part of the woods now too.

I could picture it, this statue of a person i’d become, slowly being buried by the leaves the changing seasons, growing into the forest, right at the edge of this fishing pier. Perhaps I’d decompose and grow into a tree, strong and tall, overtaking the wooden platform that supports me now. One with this park i took as sanctuary and refuge.

The quiet of the now empty park was replaced by the sounds of the night, the song of the crickets and chirps of nocturnal birds almost overwhelming the atmosphere, which felt so fragile in this quiet dark that was strung around the stars being readily revealed. So when i heard the wooden deck creaking under the weight of a new person, it was enough to startle me back to some semblance of life.

At the foot of the pier, resting on one of the beams, was a man no younger than 90, in a gray pinstripe suit ever so slightly too big for his frame, his cane held tightly in a fist, although something about the way he held himself made it seem like he didn’t need the cane at all. He was looking up into the stars twinkling into existence in the dimming sky, a reservedly contented smile playing on his lips. He took a deep breath and nodded subtly, his round glasses glinting in the increasing moonlight.

“It truly is a beautiful night, isn’t it?” He asked, his feeble voice a testament to his age, but the confidence in it, unrelenting.

I couldn’t respond, i didn’t quite know how, i felt I’d forgotten how to speak. But i didn’t have to, as he went on before words could begin to form on my lips.

“They say time is an illusion, and when i look to the stars, i can almost begin to believe them. They never change! They merely float across the sky, always there, despite the ravages of time here on earth, they’re just out of reach of the concept of age. Scientists say they’re millions, if not billions, of years old, and still have many years to go before they sputter out, although perhaps ‘sputtering out’ is no way to describe the spectacle it would be. And I have to wonder, how many more souls will look upon this same night sky, before one of those stars are no longer burning away up there like they were for all of humanity’s time in existence?” He sighed heavily, as though the burden of these thoughts were wearing away at him, and looked down at me, his gaze piercing and uncomfortably familiar, “We’ve been looking at it in awe since the dawn of time, and the mystery of those dancing, twinkling lights has yet to be solved. Truly makes you wonder if there are answers to be found at all, or perhaps we’re just not ready. At the end of the day, will we ever be ready?” Resignation edged into his voice, but i couldn’t help but feel as though he was genuinely asking. As if i had the answers he’s been searching for all his life, as though i could tell him if only he were ready enough.

i broke eye contact first, sweeping my gaze back up to the sky he’s seemingly enamored by. The speckled lights went on forever, but they were different now, an overwhelming order to them. The planets of our solar system were now infinitely close, some sitting comfortably just above the horizon, others just out of reach of each other by the moon. they each had a story to tell now, a life and a history and a death they await.

slowly, as though his bones could give out at any moment, the man walked towards me, and settled down beside me. with a heavy and clumsy hand, he pointed up to the smallest star in the sky that hadn’t yet been obscured by the other celestial bodies.

“she’s the home i seek, but this earth is a good mother for my weary soul. travel washes away the vigor, but ages the heart with wisdom. it’s unfortunate that my years have run away without me, I’m not sure if i’ll ever reach my destination in this life, home is still a far many lifetimes away, but i can try again once this season has reached its peak.

Tell me, you are still young, do you remember yet which home you mean to settle in?”

[pixelrender]

My 5 genres of video games

I used to spend my time on a variety of games from AAA open world titles to small flash tower defense games. I’m still quite fond of many of these games and Kingdom Rush in particular has a special place in my heart as the smoothest tower defense game I’ve ever played. I got obsessed over niche genres from time to time too. I had a short period, in which I read many articles on hg101. Naturally, I got super interested in shmups back then. I still like to play a simple free shmup from time to time, but I avoid more difficult entries these days and I can’t call myself a hardcore fan of the genre.

For the longest time I was big on RPGs and Boiware in particular. I loved Dragon Age and I still plan getting my hands on Inquisition one day. I need to replay Mass Effect 2 and finally finish the trilogy. Baldur’s Gate is still on my shortlist of games to finish and Jade Empire is one of my favourite underrated games to recommend. There were other RPGs than those from Bioware too. Gothic 3 probably qualifies for the game I spent most time with as completing it took me half a year. I still like low fiction of Gothic series and admire compact worlds of the first two games and Risen. Oblivion is my favourite roaming game. The best part about it was bumping into a small settlement in the middle of nature and just be there. The last not least I should mention RPG Maker.  I developed few small games in it and I still sometimes work on three more. 2 of them are actual RPGs. I played and enjoyed many RM games, some of them epic fantasies. So, why is this genre only a honorable mention? I don’t find myself as attracted to it and its power fantasies as I used to. I don’t have time for sprawling epic and there are certain strategy games fulfilling my lust for medieval and characters better. The two basic premises of RPGs aren’t as interesting for me as they used to be. I don’t really care about hero’s journey narrative and I’m little bored with basic mechanics. For example leveling up can be such a chore.

Now my choices are way narrower than they used to be. I still play other games and especially hobbyist and micro RPGs, which might enter my top 5 one day. These are the five genres I purposely follow, build up libraries or knowledge of their game design and talk about on Discord the most.

1. Non-linear platformers

I enjoy myself a good metroidvania. There’s only one thing, which makes a foggy, rainy better. It’s not alcohol. Also, I used term non-linear platformers on purpose. I enjoy sideview platforming and not every metroidvania’s that. There are many different movements and some of them are less fun and there are 3d games, which use Metroid inspired progression. Also, I haven’t played a single Metroid or Castlevania proper. I don’t have any excuse for the travesty. Ok, not being a console guy might give you an explanation of my situation. And with so many likes and clones on steam, I have enough to eat through without touching emulators.

I enjoy the genre’s level design in particular. I think that adding multiple layers and making souls inspired timing based combat or adding too many rpg elements rarely helps. Movement’s still the core. Upgrades/progression is at its best, when focused on obtaining new ways of movement and not stronger weapons. Clever boss fights are always important, but I prefer them to be a puzzle rather than an endurance competition. I have a huge, almost endless list of metroidvanias to play and to base my own one on.

2. Walking simulators

Sometimes I just need to turn off. Games in general are a good resting activity, walking sims and ambient games take it little further. And I usually feel enriched by playing them. I don’t feel like an overgrown child. Walking around studying original aesthetic of their creators. It’s a dialogue, in which I confront and reflect their approach to architecture and aesthetics They are definitely better enjoyed on a big screen with proper audio and smooth performance. They’re quite power hungry as even low poly ones are usually 3d. That’s a problem with my current hardware and software. In general I enjoy low poly and minimalist walking sims the most. They tend to focus more on composition.

Almost walking sims present you with a sense of wonder. You explore unknown and often massive lands. They should let you find your own way, but some of there are more focused and lead. Even if the land’s strange, it’s for the better when it rings a sense of familiar. Going cheap surreal isn’t the way. Landscapes in walking sims can be way weirder than Dali, but they should have their own nature. Walking sims are usually very slow. There’s no activity besides walking, maybe you can pick up an item. Sometimes, you follow a story. It’s hard to define a hard border, where walking sims end and other genres start. Gone Home is about something completely else than pure walking sims, but I still enjoy it for its pacing and ambiance. That brings it very close. Curtain certainly isn’t a walking sim, but the way you move around the apartment and then walk through a corridor to bend time is very much close to timeless scenes of walking sims.

3. Art games - game art

This is a difficult category to define. Art games are usually aiming for more than entertainment. They’re deeper with references to other media or filled with social critique. Having fun sometimes feels bad in them. Game art is even more difficult to define. To put it simply, it’s usually a piece of art using games as its medium. It can have a form of an interactive executable or weird modification of an existing game but the artistic concept is more important than it being a working game. In terms of mechanics, this is a diverse group and vague one, when it comes to game design. Here I can learn from areas more relevant in the real world. They often take on philosophy, ethics, politics, aesthetics and other fields I’m interested in more than in violence and loot.

Some game are clear art games. An easy example is Kentucky Route Zero, which despite it’s artsy nature is clearly defined by its mechanics and sense of progress. The other example from my favourite games would be Little Party. This one’s lighter on mechanics, but it tells a very subtle and civil story and it uses art and creativity more than being a product of it. Proteus would be my personal borderline example. The game’s about complementing and its island are small art pieces. This is actually very close to an ambient video installation and could be considered game art. 

4. Turn based strategy games 

Games my brain enjoys the most. I get satisfaction from solving. Solving concrete situations of strategy games is closer to me than abstract puzzles and logic games in general. Into the Breach is close to the latter in terms of mechanics but I love it, because it’s not cold, it makes me feel and every time I fail and an enemy hits one of the cities, I stop breathing for a moment. It makes me feel heroic to put one of my mechs in front of houses and almost sacrifice its pilot to save those lives.

There’s a huge influence of Heroes of Might and Magic. That game has many flaws, but its pace is perfect. Battles are usually either swift of epic. Heroes were my first love and I still fondly return to them from time to time. They’re not as challenging or complex as most tactics/strategy games, but they’re perfect rewarding fun. I only left them as my default turn based strategy to branch out. Series like Civilization and Warlock are building more consistent worlds. Especially in Civ its super fast turns and ties to the real world’s history make it a captivating game, in which you need to strategize on several fronts at once. Tactics are the second path I currently follow. There are closer to RPGs, but for reason your characters becoming stronger makes more sense here. It’s often because you can lose them and losing a level 10 character hurts more. I enjoy the small scale of tactics games too. The smaller the better. Again it’s a game design challenge of going further without sacrificing complexity.

5. Grand strategy games

I wonder how longer this one sticks. I love engrossing myself in Paradox games, losing track of real for weeks and becoming weirdo obsessed with my own history of the world. But it’s weird and disconnecting and you can’t talk about it with your friends, because explaining it is impossible. You can share some stories with fellow grand strategy players, but it’s not difficult to realize the weird nerdness of the company.

So, what’s so good about them? They simulate politics on a world-wide level with an amount of realism, which just feels right. You can change history, but only within borders set up by Paradox. For example you can conquer France as an Aztec, but it stays France. Shapes are the same, systems too. This shade of reality makes fiction in Crusader Kings, Europa Universalis, Victoria and other games much more easy to engage with. That’s also why I find Stellaris boring. Leaving reality, there’s nothing to compare your fiction with. It renders my choices irrelevant and different developments have same impact on me. Multiplayer probably changes this.

Civilization is far less complex than grand strategy games. It’s simple and easy to explain and to change. Yet it keeps certain connection to the real world and it has great modding scene. There isn’t an infinite number of expansions for it, which would make it bloated with features. And one run lasts a lot less. Civ isn’t a simulation, it’s still a very long puzzle. One day, I will only stick with one of the two. Now It looks better for Sid Mayer than Paradox.

Pictures are from following games: Caged Bird Dont Fly Caught in a Wire Sing Like a Good Canary Come When Called, Gunmetal Arcadia, Mura Toka (1 and 2), Morphblade, Victoria 2

[waqasblog2]

SEO Checklist: Never Forget Anything About SEO Ever Again

Original Publish Date: May 8, 2015 Most Recent Update: January 16, 2019

Why You Need An SEO Checklist

Yup, never.

Some 8 years back, when I was just starting to get serious with this SEO thing, I scoured the Web for an SEO checklist that would help me remember all these new things that I was learning.

I found nothing.

Besides a list of linking strategies that included profile links, forum signatures and spamming bookmark sites, I never really did find a good one.

It would’ve made it exponentially easier for me to learn SEO if I could have printed out something and marked it off manually back then. I could review it, internalize it and plan out tasks better.

Time traveling to the present day: I snapped out of my unproductive daydream, I put my glass of wine down and I told myself to stop reminiscing about the past.

Then it dawned on me. Why not make one?

That small epiphany became this blog post and infographic. You can also download a bonus printable version at the end of the post, which includes local SEO checklists that aren’t in the infographic.

Click here to download a free SEO checklist that you can print out and use today, whether you are still learning the ropes or already running an SEO campaign. PLUS, bonus local SEO checklists that are not found in the infographic.

Grow your digital presence to get more leads with this FREE newsletter (and free resources)

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I wanted this SEO checklist infographic to be the longest infographic you’ve ever seen… literally.

I know the stats about how it’s not ideal. How it’s not the best thing to do and how stupid an idea that is to make such a long infographic.

Sometimes, you just need to do something different.

Besides wanting this to be remembered as the longest infographic about SEO ever, I wanted it to be REALLY useful.

There are a lot of people out there that can benefit from this, much like I would have if I am starting all over again today.

So, with that said, let’s get started with some quick explanations of why I think each one is important.

Research

Research is arguably the most boring part of SEO for many, but I personally love it. You have to embrace the research part to get a feel of what you are up against and what you will be doing.

Your whole SEO strategy will depend on your depth of understanding so DO NOT ever skip the research phase.

Market Research Market research gives you a feel of the whole landscape.

Chances are, you will be working on a more specific website. By doing market research, you open your mind to what’s out there, what they are doing, what’s working for them and so on.

Look around, vertically and horizontally. The information you learn here will come in handy when you start creating your SEO plan and link building strategy.

Niche Research It’s time to niche it down. Who are you going up against directly? What’s the overall state of the niche when it comes to SEO? What types of results is Google showing you when you search? Local? Maps? Mostly Yelp? Video dominates? Are news sites being shown?

Knowing these will help you prioritize what you need to do to get visibility as soon as possible.

Competitor Research Who are your direct competitors? What are they doing? How aggro are they?

Compile your direct competitors. Search using the keywords you are targeting on Google and list down all your competitors.

Compile their link profiles, identify which site is getting the most links, note down the link types they have and what their audiences are sharing.

Keyword Research Now that you have done your competitor research, you can use the data for this phase.

You’ll be able to see the keywords they are ranking for based on the anchor text from their links and you can use tools like SEMRush to find out what other keywords they are ranking for or bidding for.

Compile those keywords and add your target keywords into a list.

Whip out Google’s Keyword Planner, paste the keywords in and watch the magic happen.

You’ll get a ton of suggestions you would have never thought of in the first place.

Data Gathering Now, it’s time to start compiling the data you’ve researched and gather some actual stats about your website.

Compile the initial keywords and backlinks you’ve acquired from the research you’ve done above. Put them into organized lists.

You also need to answer things like: What’s the current status of your website vs your competitors? How optimized are their websites? How many links do they have now?

You need to activate Google Analytics so you can get data about the site you are working on.

You need to crawl the site you are working so you can have the data by the time you get to the on-page SEO phase.

Google Search Console

We love today’s version of Google Webmaster Tools. You can get a ton of data simply by using this.

You can:

Check for crawl errors

Check for penalties

Check if the sitemap has been submitted already

Check HTML improvements needed

Check for broken links

Grab all the data you can and fix them now or until you get to the on-page SEO phase.

Bonus: You might also want to submit your site to Bing’s Webmaster Center. Just for the sake of it. Just do it.

On-Page SEO

This often gets the most criticism from die-hard link builders but nowadays, a lot of them have come to accept on-page SEO as a major part of the overall SEO process.

Today, a lot of pages can rank purely from relevance and good on-page SEO work so never neglect it.

General

For those that are new to SEO, you might not be aware of some of these.

These are best practices that you must apply early on and throughout the life of your website.

The following items are very basic so if you have questions about any of these, please feel free to ask in the comments area.

Start with these:

Add an XML Sitemap

Add Navigation

Add Menus

Use Breadcrumbs

Add a Robots.txt file

Check for Canonical

No-index thin pages – Tags should definitely be no-indexed. Category pages that don’t have unique content should be as well.

Fix all the problems found in Webmaster Tools

Title – ensure keyword presence / check for H1 tag / use long-tail keywords

Check Meta Tags

Fix all pages missing Meta Titles (Stick to 60 characters)

Fix all pages missing Meta Descriptions (Stick to 150 characters or less)

Fix all images missing Alt Text

Check h# tags (e.g. <h1>, <h2>, etc.)  and order them properly.

Optimize Content

Now it’s time to check your site’s existing content.

For many of you, you will be thrown into a project for big website that’s pretty messed up, with content that has been built over the years.

Do not be afraid to change the content if it will improve it and do not hesitate to cull those worthless pages.

Review Visual Design

Keywords

LSI keywords – Use LSI keywords to make your content more relevant.

Publish the usual static pages (Privacy/Terms/Sitemap/About/Contact/Etc.)

“Try” to keep indexed pages static

Refresh or update your site’s content regularly

Monitor Bounce Rate

Externalize Code (CSS)

Performance Tweaks

The performance of your website is IMPORTANT, especially in today’s SEO landscape.

Though the Mobilegeddon update has been underwhelming so far, it will become more important as time goes by so fix your website today.

Check multi-browser-friendliness

URL Optimization

Your URL structure can be easily neglected but it can have a good impact on your rankings and even user re-call.

The best practice is to keep it as short as possible, aim for below 100 characters.

Incorporate primary keywords into the URL

Use absolute URLs

Simplify dynamic URLs with mod_rewrite (Say no to dynamic URLs when possible)

Use 301 redirects for rewritten URLs

Set up non-www to www redirect (or vice versa)

Using Schema

Less than 30% of the websites out there actually use it. Take advantage of that. Schema is here to stay. It doesn’t mean that it’s useless because Google Authorship is dead.

Though its direct impact to SEO is still not actually “proven” in a concrete way, it’s indirect effects are actually very obvious.

Whatever you believe, like I always say, optimize everything and you will succeed in SEO.

Refine/add markup for possible schema (Official Logo, Articles, etc)

I highly recommend that you check out SEOGadget’s (ok, BuiltVisible, I miss the name…) guide on schema over here.

Off-Page SEO

Clearly the most popular part of SEO is your off-page work, more commonly referred to as link building. It is where you want to spend the bulk of your time besides planning and creating your content.

Some of the strategies below are old-school, some are new and some are really niche specific. If you have question, feel free to ask them in the comments area or you can start a new conversation over here.

Set Up Brand Alerts Setting up Google Alerts, TalkWalker and Mention are practically staples in any SEO campaign today. Moz also has neat built-in tracking tool, so if you are a subscriber, be sure to make use of that.

The reason you’d want to do this is that you want to know immediately when someone mentions your brand (and any other relevant keywords) anywhere in the Internet.

This allows you to track your reviews, negative press, blog mentions, forum questions and more! You’ll have the chance to get a backlinks by jumping in early and you also get to build better brand loyalty by showing that you care enough to respond to their posts or issues.

Find Unlinked URL’s and Brand Mentions If you are working on an established site, then chances are, there will be a ton of unlinked mentions out there for you to take.

Tip: There are a lot of ways but start with the simplest method by using Google

Brand -Brand.com (LeapFroggr -leapfroggr.com)

Competing Company Links Find your competitors, look around vertically and horizontally in your niche and category.

Compile them and check their links. Then go out and get those links. They got it, why can’t you?

Ranking Competitor Links Search for your target keywords and find those direct-ranking competitors. Chances are, you won’t see a lot of them during your competitor research phase.

Now compile these sites and check their backlinks.

Find Important Links Using Link Intersects Basically, you want to find the links that already link to your competitors.

Why? There’s a higher chance that you can get those links quickly.

You can use Excel after you export your competitor backlinks to see which domains link to them but for those rare SEO’s that don’t really like spreadsheets (like me) – then CognitiveSEO has a tool for it, so does Link Research Tools and as well as Moz.

Create Social Media Profiles Create your social properties and make sure to put a link back to your website.

If you can’t use them yet, then treat it mainly for branding purposes and to reserve the name when the time comes that you might actually need them.

Broken Link Building Broken link building is basically a strategy to start a conversation with a webmaster.

You give them something and they might eventually do you a favour. That’s the basic idea.

Knowing that, you can get creative with it. Here’s a great article from Erika about broken link building.

Richard Marriott over at Clambr also put up an awesome tutorial.

Utilizing Relevant Pinterest Boards Join or ask to get invited on Pinterest Group Boards. PinGroupie is a good place to start.

True, Pinterest links are no-follow for the most part but Pinterest can bring you tons of traffic and visibility.

You will get links that you would never get by doing normal link prospecting. You can even take it a step further and check the people that shared your pin and reach out to them. You can message with people directly in Pinterest now, just in case you haven’t been using it lately.

Join Expert Roundups Expert roundups are a dime a dozen nowadays and they are getting bigger and bigger each day just to stand out and squeeze out the most social shares.

You don’t have to join all of them but you should join some of them.

For the most part, these are on blogs with their own readership, so it’s a chance for you to get your brand out there and eventually pull in more links.

Oh, you can also be the one to do expert roundups and offer that as part of your outreach. Lots of people will link to it if you use a proper angle for the roundup.

Guest Posting on Influencer Websites Guest posting is not dead. They should rephrase that.

It’s more like guest posting on blatantly fake blog networks is almost dead.

People keep complaining about it but it really isn’t dead. In fact, it’s more important and more precious now than ever.

Find the right sites, build the right connections and create great content for their audience without over-using anchor text.

Blog Commenting To Build Relationships

Blog comment links are mostly no-follow. The real value is in the relationships that are formed.

I’ve met a ton of people simply by doing guest commenting and I got connected with new people that eventually linked to me because I took a bit of my spare time to build these relationships.

I met Matt Capala through blog commenting and he has sent business my way and exclusive connections. (Blatant Plug: Buy his book.)

Some relationships are started through email, some are started by joining local networking events and some can be started simply by blog commenting.

If you want to learn by example, my friends Adrienne, Donna, Harleena, Sue, Don, Carol and Ryan are great people to learn from.

Utilize Quote Directories Sounds funny, but there are many quote directories out there that can be used for links.

Since we are talking about directories, go ahead and look for blog directories, startup directories and niche specific directories. The links can be acquired easily and for the most part, free.

Get on Sites that Offer Awards If you are running a pet website, then you can find sites that offer awards both locally and internationally. Run a service business? There are plenty of business awards you can join. If you run a blog, go out and find sites that offer blog awards. Run a podcast? There are awards for that, too.

In many cases, being nominated can get you a link already… but do try to win so you can show off the award and get other perks.

Contribute to Newsletters Consider this as a way for you to get your brand out there. It’s also a way to get targeted traffic and acquire loyal readers.

So where does the SEO part come in? You can find sites that would allow you to publish content exclusively for their subscribers. It’s like guest posting but only through an exclusive list of people.

You can also get on newsletter publishers that publish recommended content each month. Many of their subscribers use the newsletter content when publishing their monthly or weekly link roundups on their own blogs. That’s where your link is going to come from!

As a side benefit, believe it or not, some people will copy the newsletter content directly and paste it on their site.

Get on Institution Websites Confused? These are also known as .gov and .edu links.

I could talk about hacking their sites, I could talk about manipulating their Moodle platforms and others but…this is sort of a white-hat blog.

The traditional way is to get on their resource page. You can also offer work to them in exchange for a link. One of my older tricks is to track down the student editor and give him beer money.

The .Gov sites will sometimes have forums that give do-follow links. Sometimes you can be a supplier to a project or event depending on your niche. It can open lots of doors for you if you do it the right way.

Get Links from Local Chamber of Commerce Websites Local CoC websites are plenty but the rules are different for each one.

In most cases, it’s pretty easy to get links from them. Just ask what you want do for them or what their requirements are.

Don’t Overlook New Bloggers New bloggers are going to look for mentors. They look for people that are already where they want to be. They will ask questions and they will need guidance.

If you have people following you or somebody emails you, do not hesitate to help them out. Relationships built out this way can net you links you will never really get by simply doing prospecting.

Also, when building out your prospecting list, you will encounter new blogs. Do not hesitate to reach out to them. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have readers and it doesn’t mean that the link you’ll get is worthless since they are a PR-0 site.

Often, these bloggers have really die-hard followers that jump on any recommendation they make and these followers are usually bloggers too. Imagine the extra links you’ll get.

Oh, and in time, the link you get will become more important as they become more important in the space.

Do Guest Podcasting Podcasting is BIG right now and 99% of the time, these podcasters have their own blogs so they can put the show notes there. You don’t have to even start your own podcast.

The idea here is to get on those podcasts. That’s a 100% sure, high quality link.

Submit to Curating Platforms Curating platforms like Scoop.it can share your content out and link back to you. In many cases, these are no-follow links but they have users of their own. Plus these users that curate have blogs. The things they curate get sent to their blogs and their readers get to find your content because of their referral.

My personal favourite is Flipboard. It has brought me a ton of traffic already and readers actually do stick around.

Use LinkedIN Pulse I only just started with LinkedIN Pulse but it’s pretty good so far.

The reason isn’t really for the link, but for the brand visibility. You can assume that the people that follow you and see your work on LinkedIN already have their own social presence online. They might also have blogs.

With my few articles so far, I have gotten some new links because they found my site from my LinkedIN posts.

Plus, you can republish your content on LinkedIN Pulse so it’s not really duplicate content. I don’t do this but a lot of other people do. Maybe you should try it out.

For tips, Paul Shapiro made the best article about it (ever) over here at Noah Kagan’s blog.

Get on Publisher Websites I consider the top tier publishing sites here, such as Entrepreneur, HuffPo, BusinessInsider and more. Depending on your niche, you will find other really big publishers so make sure to get on them.

I also consider the viral sites, like Buzzfeed, under this category. The normal way to get on these sites is to write on their backend and try hard to get your work on the main site. If not, then it won’t really be indexed.

If you want to be creative, my favorite tactic to get on these viral sites is to start from the smaller blogs and work my way up. I spread news or rumors on smaller blogs that I know these viral sites take news from. Once it’s picked up, you push it again on the next level and things will again, snowball from there.

Find Community Websites Community sites like  and Kingged can give you some good initial traction. You’ll be able to meet new people, share your work, gain visibility and eventually, links.

Don’t Forget StumbleUpon and Reddit If you look at the StumbleUpon idea, it can look so Web1.0 but it can still bring in good traffic. Their Ad platform is also good if you plan it out right and know how to get it to catch on. Once it does, it will snowball. You’ll get links, one way or another. One of the people I’ve been following since forever is Ross Hudgens. They put out this cool guide about SU that you can check out here.

As for Reddit, it is only getting hotter so people can say whatever they want about how worthless it is for SEO but for me, Reddit has brought my sites tons of traffic and netted me links from hardcore, badass sites. Ain’t too shabby. Plus, it can do this…thanks for the spot Dan.

Find Uncredited Images It’s inevitable.

People will steal your images. Steal? Sounds harsh. Well, sometimes bloggers just grab it off Google images. It’s a completely innocent thing to do so I understand.

Good thing we know SEO! That practically means a free link in my eyes.

Use Google’s image search and upload a photo. It’ll show you places where the image was used. You can also use Tineye to do this.

Oh, infographic promotion can fall under this as well.

Submit to Slideshare If you do speaking gigs, present to your company or other groups, then you probably have a collection of slide decks. Simply use sites like Slideshare and share your content there!

Do you create blog posts? Repurpose your blog content into slides!

Need more Slideshare tips and tricks? Then get it from no other but the queen herself, Ana Hoffman from TGC.

Note: You can also submit PDF’s to Slideshare but there are also places to submit PDF’s so you can share your book or whitepaper to the world.

Get on Magazine and News Sites Local ones will tend to be easier to get featured on to but bigger, global news sites are still possible. It will just take a bit more work and patience.

What I do is to find the editor or a connection to the editor. Once I get introduced, it’s easy to submit a piece and get a piece published.

Joining HARO, which will be mentioned shortly, can also help you get on some of these sites.

Find Resource Pages Resource pages is one of the oldest plays in the book and it’s still one of my favorites.

Why? Competitors neglect them and I don’t have to worry about content. Easy, relevant links. Boom.

Join HARO and Participate Help A Reporter Out aka HARO is one of the best ways to get free press.

You get emails with different topics. You reply to the reporter and send an expert direct-to-the-point answer.

HARO isn’t the only game in town, I listed down some of the others here.

Here’s a tip: Use your mail to filter out the daily emails to find relevant phrases or words so you don’t have to check each one.

Use and Monitor Hashtags like #PRRequest Besides HARO type sites, there are hashtags out there that are used by journalists. It’s a way for them to get stories and participants. You can tweet out your topic with the hashtag or just monitor it.

Again, much like HARO, you need to pick your spots and be patient with this. Once it works for you, it’s gold.

Do a Link Bait You basically write about something controversial, something timely, something that’s not the norm. Put it out in front of the right people and BAM! You get links!

I covered it a bit more on this post.

Create Badges This is old school but still effective today, especially for certain niches today.

You create a gimmick badge, you share it to the community with a link back to you to show their support or to brag about their level in the community.

It’s sort of like those blog directories that want you to put their link on your site first to confirm your ownership. Then you forget to remove the badge and you just gave them a free link.

Find Links Pointing to Your Social Media Account but Not Your Website This is simple yet highly neglected.

By doing a simple backlink check on your own social profiles, you can dig out some pretty easy links.

To take this a step further, compile your competitor’s social accounts and check their links.

Use a Service? Submit a Testimonial! If you use a service or bought a course or maybe you are a member of a group/newsletter, then you can try to share your learnings, testimonials and results to the owner.

If you are purely in this for the link, which I know you are, then make sure the site you are contacting has a testimonial area.

For a more extensive process, Bryan Harris, THE poster boy, explains this like no other.

Support Crowd Funding Projects I mentioned it briefly here but I have talked about this on the newsletter pretty extensively in the past.

You basically find crowd funding projects that offer a link from their websites. You support them and get the link when they go live.

Charities to Support There are tons of charities you can support. Look around your local area and find those with websites.

Of course, you need to be aligned with their vision. >_>

Q&A Sites Q&A sites are mostly no-follow links but they bring in relevant traffic. They also rank pretty well and can get you spots in Google’s results.

That way, you can get more visibility, new users and eventually, new links.

Find Forums Forum links are not dead. They are still really nice and they still bring in targeted traffic.

You just need to look for relevant forums and jump into the conversation… or you can manufacture a way to start a conversation and jump in later to pitch your link.

Google removed my fav filter, which is “discussions” so just for you, here’s my secret. This nifty Chrome plugin.

Note: Just don’t go out there buying mass forum signature and profile links.

Research How an Author Did it I love this technique because I can sort of see how someone I look up to got to where he is today.

I could see how hard they worked, how they did it, the creativity they showed and more!

I could then do something similar and set myself apart from what he already did.

I talked about this extensively on the newsletter and I mentioned it on my post over here.

Supplier Websites This is mainly for e-commerce websites where you have suppliers that have sites. Just ask for those links.

If you are a business or a blog and have someone you work with that has a site, then you can also ask for a link from them. Easy, high quality links are always welcome.

Do Successful Content BETTER As mentioned in my previous post, my go-to strategy when it comes to link building is simply just doing better content than what’s already working out there and get all their links!

It basically means that people are interested and you can get those links.

Brian Dean calls this the Skyscraper Technique so if you want to learn more about this, check out his blog post!

Comment Scouting Comment scouting is a way for me to simply get ideas from the comments area (be it in my own blog or another blog) and create content for whatever the need I see there.

Then you contact the commenters and commenters on other blog posts with a similar topic.

I am creating a post about this and I’ll be posting it soon. Signup for our newsletter so you never miss an update!

③⓪① Build Category Specific Sites – 301 Them Category pages on a website are probably the hardest pages to get links for. E-commerce sites will benefit from getting links to these pages greatly so one way of getting links is by creating separate websites.

Cultivate them, get them links and then 301 those domains to your main category. #WIN

Since you read all the way here, here are a few bonus strategies that aren’t in the infographic!

Speaking and Conference Links Volunteer to speak in front of an organization or a conference. That’s almost a guaranteed link.

Does the conference have sponsors? They probably mentioned the conference on their website as well. Ask for a link back to your site!

Management and Sponsor Links Let’s say you are working on a celebrity’s site, then get a link from her agency’s site. Get links from her sponsors and magazines that mention her.

Are you getting paid to show off products? Get links from your sponsor’s website!

WikiPedia There are certainly different ways to get WikiPedia links. Knowing a moderator, sheer luck or WikiGrabber.

Use it and find a way to get a link. Don’t forget your etiquette.

Infographic Links Lastly, infographic promotion. Submit it to directories, reach out to sites that already publish infographic posts or sites that can be granted exclusivity.

It’s really a versatile way to build links so you can get really creative with it.

BTW, if you liked this infographic, please use our embed code that you saw at the bottom of the infographic.

Tell us about it and we’ll help you promote it. We’ll even write a unique intro for you!

Everything Else

Once you get to this point, it’s basically icing on the cake. Most of these are things that can’t be qualified under the categories above.

Some are minor, some are really vital once you start ranking and some are just for maintenance.

Social Media

I had to start it off with this.

When it comes to discussing social media’s direct effect to SEO, it will almost always be controversial. No matter what people say, social media is a part of our online and offline brands moving forward.

For me, social media does not have a direct effect, but a more indirect one. Actually, there are plenty of indirect ones!

The point of this being included here in the checklist is that you need to make sure that your website is set up properly and linked to your brand’s official social platforms.

Create those social media accounts – these basically help with SEO indirectly as they carry your brand name.

Adding social sharing buttons can potentially help you acquire new users and eventually links.

Link these social media accounts to your website – For example, Google+ can ask you to verify your site and page.

Also, you can use Schema to link your official social profiles.

Conversion Rate Optimization

CRO, which is an art on it’s own, does have processes that affect your overall SEO. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to convert more of your existing visitors.

Some of the things you need to do are:

Continue to speed up your website

Check your bounce rates

Be sure you don’t cause duplicate content when A/B testing

Track if you are ranking the correct page (that is converting)

Sound familiar? They should be.

Knowledge Graph

The knowledge graph is still a mystery for many. If your brand is still not an entity within the Knowledge Graph, then you need to start taking some steps to include yourself there.

Start by getting a Freebase account (by the time you read this, Google might have moved over to WikiData)

Check out Andrew Isidoro’s post as well as Krystian Szastok’s post.

Rank Tracking

Rank tracking is not as talked about as it used to be but if you are serious about your SEO work, then it’s still a must.

The Google Webmaster Tools data you get about your rankings are simply an average of where you place.

If you want more accurate data, be it local or country specific, then you need to track it yourself, be it using software (we use Rank Tracker and Advanced Web Ranking) or one of the many cloud hosted rank tracking tools out there.

Just to throw it in here: I get this question a lot. Does it hurt your ranking if you keep checking the rankings daily? I haven’t seen any evidence of it as I track things pretty aggressively.

Reputation Management

Skeptical?

Let’s start by mentioning that you need to claim your brand’s identity everywhere. It will save you a ton of time and headaches in the future when the brand you are working on is big enough.

You also need to monitor mentions about your brands either to stop negative things from escalating or get links.

So, can online reputation management be a part of SEO? Definitely.

Ongoing Server Configuration Checks

Your server will need to be tweaked regularly. Especially as you grow your traffic more and more.

The last thing you want is a slow site or a site that is down for long periods of time.

Things can get misconfigured, it’s just the way it is so doing regular checks are important.

Other Avenues to Improve Branding Online

You can do more besides traditional link building.

You can build up your brands on different ecosystems that are also crawled by Google.

From YouTube, to Apple and even Amazon. These are all major search engines on their own and building your brand within them can add to your SEO… and they take up space in Google’s results so that’s another bonus for you.

Keep Up with New Google Guidelines

Google’s guidelines will keep on changing. It’s just the nature of the game.

If you don’t monitor SEO news regularly, make it a point to pick your favorite SEO websites and subscribe to their newsletter (like ours) or RSS feed. Schedule a time in the month to do quick reading sessions to keep yourself up to date.

Schedule On-Page SEO Checks

As you publish more and more content, things can get lost in the shuffle.

Maybe you don’t have a system in place yet for other authors that publish within your site. Maybe you are just forgetful when it comes to SEO and just want to focus on creating content.

Doing a regular on-page SEO checkup will only help you in the long run so don’t overlook this.

Screaming Frog is our favorite but Google Webmaster Tools can also give you some good data.

Schedule Regular Backlink Profile Checks

This is probably the most ignored thing EVER. I cannot stress the importance of this especially if you are already working on a popular site or a competitive market.

Things can go wrong rather quickly (penalty/de-indexed) or it can be the reason why your site is being held back from improving in the rankings.

Checking your link profile regularly will help you see what’s wrong. Maybe you are over using your anchor text, maybe somebody is sending you spammy links or maybe you just aren’t doing enough.

I would suggest using and even Google Webmaster Tools when doing link profile checks.

Now Here’s How You Can Put It to Use

As I mentioned earlier in the article, we created a FREE SEO checklist that you can download and print out.

It’s basically a group of printable checklists, including 2 checklists for on-page and off-page local SEO.

Here’s where you can download the checklist:

Grow your digital presence to get more leads with this FREE newsletter (and free resources)

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[newgeekcity]

New Geek City is Live Blogging MST3k The Return

Once a upon a time there was a bored kid. He just moved to a new place where he didn’t know anyone. Hair was coming in weird places. His face looked like it came from a rare Garbage Pail Kid card.

Other things were changing for the kid, namely his tastes. To him everything started to be so childlike. His books, Full House, even Saturday morning cartoons. There wasn’t anything that really appealed to him anymore.

Except for Batman the Animated Series, that was still awesome.

So one day while trying to avoid the Smurfs or some shit, the kid flipped on Comedy Central. Gamera was on. Everything sucked, but he wasn’t too big for Toho movie monsters. 

Just look at it...

And see those guys on the bottom? They were cracking jokes, making astute observations. Then they would do silly musical numbers. It was the best, and for years after, no matter what, the kid would tune in to see what crazy schlock the boys of MST3k would do next.

And yeah yeah, the boy was me. Twist ending, M. Night Shyamalan style. Blah blah.

Since MST3k came into my life so early, sometimes I wonder where it started and I begin in the soup of neurons and my memories. Am I sarcastic and love terrible movies because it brings me back to my safe space? Or am I drawn to MST3k because I am sarcastic and I love 1960s Godzilla movies.

I don’t think there’s a real answer to that question. However, after a long long departure. MST3k is back and on Netflix... so lets dive into the first episode which is called... episode 1? Seriously guys? Way to be descriptive.

We got movie sign after the jump

00:00 - Hold on I need more coffee. 

00:00 - Alright, back. Lets see what’s up. I’m really curious about the opening. If I remember right the opening song was sung by Mike Nelson. So lets see how this stacks up. 

I’m not looking for a perfect recreation, but something in the same spirit.

1:39 - People? There’s other people in this universe? I thought there was like 10 tops in the entire world in the original series. Then there’s Wil fucking Wheaton. I don’t mind the people, but I do mind Wil Wheaton, that fucking guy. The DIY effects and models are really great though.

In what looks like the Gizmonic mission control, the staff are puppets. I love that.

Wait I know that lady... She’s Erin Gray. Colonel Deering from Buck Rogers. When I was 5 I wasn’t sure if I was going to marry her or Princess Leia. 

Hey it could have happened, I was a cute kid.

But seriously, Fuck. Wil. Wheaton. 

2:00 - I have to admit, I’m sort of liking Jonah. He has the same affable quality as Joel and Mike. 

4:30 - Gypsy could talk? Like for reals? Weird.

I also did like the opening sequence, a lot. Its different. It feels like that’s what the sequence should have been for the movie. But I really liked it. Great work Joel. 

8:00 - Invention exchange is back. Patton Oswalt is perfect as TV’s son of TV’s Frank. Although I was doubting Felicia Day, I have to admit she is charming here. 

The movie doors are different, you could tell they used a computer for this one. Not sure if I like that, But whatevs its minor. 

The bots voices are actually pretty good too. Crow sounds like Crow. Tom sort of sounds like Tom. I do have to get used to Jonah though.

9:00 - Its not skin, its beef. Just saying.

Delicious ground beef.

10:30 - Tom can fly! He can fly!!

13:15 - We have Super Dragon reference! Also one of the best MST3k songs 

14:00 - “You know an aquarium is just a pet store that doesn’t sell anything.” Made me lol.

14:41 - Gypsy showed up and made a quip. I already forgot what it was. I wonder if it’ll be a thing.

16:35 - I’m hoping the movie picks up. I doubt it because its MST3k. But they did a “commercial break” just now. They repeated the name of the movie and showed I guess would be the Deep 13 House Band. 

I think a skit would have worked better. Its not like they have to fit in actual commercials. But they’re probably trying to keep as close to the original format as possible.

18:30 - Scientist 1: “I envy that young man.”

Scientist 2: “He will be busy now.”

Me: Yeah with your daughters, you Dane weirdo.

20:00 - Who just keeps an electric eel in a tank in a hallway? Nothing is gonna go wrong there. Nothing at all....ARRRRRGHG 

22:00 - I’m having a really hard time picking up who’s speaking. Particularly with Tom / Jonah. 

But Jonah’s Monster Mash / Reptilicus cover was definitely out of the Joel Robinson playbook. 

25:00 - Can someone tell me if that Dane blonde, scientist daughter has a single daughter along the R line? And that wound looks like pudding. Just saying it looks like delicious reptile pudding.

27:00 - Ok the skit break is this kaiju monster rap. The bots, particularly crow are more animated. He’s able to move his arms around now.

The song itself is way different from the original series. Which I’m giving it a thumbs up. It fits well into the original ethos. Its catchy, fun. Its a good update. Nice work modern MST3k writers.

32:00 - One thing I’ve noticed is the actual filmic quality of the movie. In the old MST3k’s you could still see the scratches and dust, and the warping. It looks like that this is a restored film. 

Its not awful or really a distraction. But its just something I noticed as a long time fan.

35:00 - Dickweed. It makes me laugh every time.

36:00 - Of course the goofus stuck his hand in the electric eel tank. You know comedy. It had to happen. Like the sun rising, and the rain falling in the amazon.

38:00 - I wish netflix would have some way that it counts up instead of down. It would make my life easier here.

Another “commercial break” I was wrong, in the new series its Moon 13 and Patton Oswalt gave a fun fact about the doors. The house band is playing at the same time. Its very Svengoolie.

39:00 - Xanadu reference. Not sure how many youngin’s would get it. I barely do because my dad had a bootleg VHS tape. 

It was awful.

41:00 - I was about to say a lot of the jokes are falling flat, but when that scientist “screamed” and one of the guys dubbed it with Opera, that was brilliant. 

43:00 - I get that MST3k was never really about plot when it came to the host and bots. But they seemed to jump into the riffing really quick. I was expecting some sort of intro for Jonah, like he’d ask questions about why he’s there throughout the movie and the bots would fill him in and he’d grow into the host role. 

I think it would have added some sort of dimension to it. But I would get why they would just jump right into it. 

45:00 - Also I’d expect the Mads would show up more by now. Maybe in the next skit sequence?

47:00 - No Mads, but the cloning of Tom Servo in the “genesis tank that’s conveniently off camera” was real classic MST3k. 

So far, Jonah I would say earned his spot. He nailed it. 

Crow, yup classic Crow. 

Tom, well. He’s not awful. He’s funny but I just can’t get past the voice. Kevin Murphy really owned the character. I hope its just matter of getting used to it. Like when Kevin originally took over in Season 2 (I think) of MST3k.

51:00 - Hold on I need a gif of that.. give me a few minutes.

Ok, I couldn’t get a gif. I’ll have to check into that. BUT I did grab a screenshot.

Single handedly this is my most favorite special effect ever.

54:30 - Although another stray observation, when the people are in frame, the film is alright. Like no scratches (for the most part) but when the monster is up it looks like someone went through it with sandpaper. 

Which lazy bastard only did half a restoration?

55:00 - It feels like Tom should have had that ability to fly all along. His bottom always reminded me of a hovercraft.

56:00 - Yup the commercial breaks definitely is reminiscent of Svengoolie, Paton Oswalt should just show up on that set one day as TV’s Son of TV’s Frank. 

It would be some great cross promotion.

BTW, go watch Svengoolie. Its not as funny as MST3k, but it’s really charming and fun.

Occasionally they show a good movie. Which I guess defeats the point, but whatever.

60:00 - We’re about at the halfway point. So far, I will admit the new MST3k is... I don’t want to say a worthy successor but Joel Hodgson really did something special. This definitely feels in place with the originals. Almost like it never went away. 

I do want more Mads for this episode. Where are they?

62:00 - How did they get letters? This is like the first episode in almost 20 years. How many 8 year olds could sit still long enough to watch reruns? Aren’t they making methlabs and sexting? 

63:00 - Just a note, I know nothing about modern children.

71:00 - Have you ever wondered why Kaiju are impervious to tank shells? Think about it, they’re designed to punch through concrete, steel plating, etc. I don’t think they’d have a problem with reptile skin, prehistoric or otherwise.

74:00 - Another thing I noticed is that the guy and the bots are more animated compared to the originals. They’ll move around, fly by, bring in barrels to interact with the screen. 

I know the originals did similar, but it seems to be more frequent here. Its not unwelcome. Its actually nice.

77:00 - Another commercial break. Its a TV seal of quality with the Moon 13 house band. I’m still liking them.

Patton talked about how Kinga established some TV group, probably to make profit. 

Its not so much how the joke was clever, I just liked how they used that to add some background of the world of MST3k. Because we really don’t know much about it, besides the SOL and Deep 13 and such. 

I never thought it was missing, but now that I’ve seen some glimpses into the surrounding world I am interested in learning more. Does the world know about the Forresters? Have they always run in secret? Or they make their intentions known and the government is powerless to stop them. Who is the government there anyway?

Are they considered brilliant or total fuck ups? Are they part of something bigger? Like SMERSH or the illuminati or something?

78:00 - They’re freaking out about getting a gallon of some sort of lizard knock out drug. Do Danes know how much a gallon is? It’s not that much, if it was like an oil drum’s worth then you got problems.

80:00 - The gallon is really just a beaker. So I guess Danes don’t get the imperial system after all.

83:00 - Seriously the guy playing Crow is really good. If I close my eyes I’d have a hard time telling the difference between him and Trace Beaulieu.

Although I noticed the mouth movement on Crow isn’t as pronounced as it was in the originals. Its a little detail, but it went a long way in figuring out who was talking.

85:00 - Monster’s dead, yay I guess.

86:00 - “Push the button Max” doesn’t have the same cachet as “Push the button Frank.” But I’m glad they brought that back.

87:00 - The end credit song sounds like it was made with a real orchestra. It gives it some gravitas. Its rather lovely. 

88:00 - They’re repeating the monster rap. Not bad, still cute. 

89:00 - Wait, in the end credits, They gave the proper name for the Moon 13 House Band, they’re called “The Skeleton Crew.”

I like Moon 13 house band better.

90:00 - Nice touch--

And of course--

The end tag. Its nice to see some old standbys come back.

Final Thoughts - 

I suppose if you really wanted to you could say its worse or better than the originals. I guess its like how you wanted to fight over Joel vs Mike. 

They’re different. They had their own styles, and they were very funny in their own way. 

MST3k The Return is a lot like that. There’s enough elements of the originals that it feels familiar, but stylistically its been updated. I personally think its a good thing. 

With the bigger budget, and more modern delivery I feel a lot of the fun, DIY, anarchic, lo-fi qualities that was so mind blowing about the original show is very much here. 

I like the new cast, except for Wil Wheaton (fuck you Wesley Crusher), and I think they’re as charming and clever as the previous casts. Just... different.

So if you loved the originals as much as I did, I definitely think its worth binging with your kids. Personally I plan to make this a Saturday morning thing like I did way back when.

One last last thing. From what I saw of the preview for the next episode it looks like Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy are visiting. Hopefully Mike shows up too.

I. Can’t. Wait.