#but not safe to be attracted to my male friend who has been open about being attracted to me

[unimportantweirdo]

i have a couple things to say so i shall say them in the tags

legit just me getting my thoughts out so feel free to ignore

[azriels-shadowsinger]

Confessions (Azriel x Reader)

summary: you and azriel are best friends, but his flirting with elain has become too much for you to bear, so you decide to try to move on.

wc: 3k

a/n: !!warning: mentions attempted SA!! This is the first real fic i have written in years so it’s probably shit but if you decide to read this thank u and i love u.

Read Part Two

For months now, you have been fairly upset about seeing Azriel pining after Elain, but even more annoyed that your friendship with him has become insignificant to him now that he spends all his time with her. About a decade ago, you decided that being hopelessly in love with Azriel was pointless since he would never see you that way, so you settled for friendship. It’s better to have him as a friend than not at all… or at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself. Mor is the only one who knows about your crush and has kept your secret, but not without constant pestering to tell him how you feel.

“He’s in love with Elain, Mor. I’m over it and over him. I’m ready to move on.” You lie as best you can to her and to yourself.

“You’re so full of shit. But fine, I’ll play along. When we go out tonight, you’re finding someone to go home with!” She says excitedly while finishing her eyeliner. Mor forced you to put on a tight, navy party dress that barely covers your ass instead of letting you wear your go-to little black dress.

After she finishes getting ready, the two of you head down to your room to grab your lipstick, but when you open the door to the hallway, you see Azriel and Elain at the end of the hall whispering and standing only inches from each other. You ignore the ache in your chest at the sight and turn the opposite direction to head to your room, refusing to look behind you when you feel a pair of eyes staring at you.

———

Rita’s was crowded, as per usual. After about an hour of drinks and dancing, you were decently drunk and had forgotten all about Azriel… well almost.

“Can I buy you a drink?” You hear a male say from beside you. He’s tall and fairly handsome, but nowhere near Azriel’s level of attractiveness- damnit you need to get him out of your head!

“Sure. I’ll have what you’re having.” You try to say seductively, but it just comes out awkward. Gods, when was the last time you tried to flirt? He chuckles and orders your drink. Mor gives you a wink from across the bar and disappears into the crowd with a stranger.

After a while of talking, you decide this guy, Mikael, is exceptionally boring, but the night is almost over and he’s your only option. Anything to forget a certain dark and mysterious shadowsinger. Why not try to have fun?

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Mikael whispers in your ear. No reaction. If Azriel had been this close and whispered something to you, you would be all goosebumps and blushes, but with Mikael… nothing. Fuck, this is probably a bad idea. Maybe you should just go home and try again another night.

“Y/n?” His voice pulls you out of your daze. “I asked if you wanted to get out of here.” He says a bit annoyed while sliding a hand up your thigh. Gods, this guy is kinda an ass. This is definitely a bad idea.

“Um… I’m pretty tired. And I came here with a friend, so I should probably find her to make sure she gets home safe.” You slowly stand from your chair to leave. You immediately stumble and feel much dizzier than before. You were never good at handling your liquor, and apparently tonight was no exception… except you don’t remember drinking enough to feel this drunk. Mikael’s hand grabs your shoulder to stabilize you, but his grip feels too tight and he doesn’t let go once you balance yourself.

“Cmon honey. We were having a fun night, let’s keep it going.” He leans too close for comfort, giving you a slimy grin. You pull away and stumble back.

“I really should find my friend. I’m sorry!” You say nervously and look around for Mor. She’s nowhere in sight. Shit. She probably either left with that girl thinking you were gonna go home with Mikael or she’s lost in the crowd. Either way, you just need to get away from Mikael. You stumble towards the door, feeling dizzy and seeing double. Each step feels slower and heavier than the last, but you finally step outside, savoring the winter chill that will hopefully sober you up. Just as you take a step outside, you feel a hand grab your wrist too hard and pull you towards the alley next to Rita’s.

“I spent a lot of fucking money on your drinks tonight, so I’m not gonna ask again. You’re coming home with me.” Mikael’s whiskey breath is inches from your face, making you want to gag. You want to scream for help. You want to kick and fight back, but your body feels weak and your vision keeps getting blurrier. After a moment, you slump onto Mikael and he helps you walk down the sidewalk. To everyone else, you probably look like a drunk girl whose boyfriend is helping her home.

No. No no no. You need to get away. You need someone to notice you aren’t okay. How the fuck did this happen?

You hear a voice behind you and your feet stop moving. It’s too blurry and dark to see, but soon you’re on the ground and someone is yelling. You shut your eyes, accepting whatever horrible thing is about to happen to you. But suddenly you are in someone’s arms, and a moment later you’re inside somewhere. You open your eyes, and despite the blurriness, you recognize your blue curtains. You’re home. Somehow.

Mor must have found you and winnowed you home. Thank the gods for that. You are set on your bed and covered you with blankets.

“Thanks… thanks for finding me, Mor.” You slur and curl into your blankets. “I think that guy… put something in my drink.” Your voice trails off as you become incredibly sleepy and shut your eyes. Mor sits you up and forces you to drink some water. Your eyes feel too heavy to open, so you keep them shut.

“Just… don’t tell Azriel about this. It’s embarrassing enough to go looking for a quick fuck to get over my crush, but it’s even more embarrassing to get fucking drugged by someone in the process.” You get the words out slowly between sips. Thinking about everything that just happened tonight should make you want to cry and vomit, but you’re too tired to do so. When you finish the water, you lay back down and immediately fall asleep.

———

Your head is pounding and the sun is shining too bright. Someone is yelling outside your door. You roll over in bed, half expecting to see some male, but thankfully you are alone in your room. You don’t remember much from last night, but apparently your attempt at a one night stand was unsuccessful. Probably for the best.

The yelling gets louder.

“She was on the fucking sidewalk outside Rita’s!” You hear a male voice yell. Azriel’s voice. Why is Azriel here? And why is he so damn loud?

You slowly make your way out of bed and to the door so you can tell him to shut up, but as soon as you open the door, you see several worried faces staring back at you. Mor, Rhys, Cass, Feyre, and Azriel all stare at you. Mor looks like she’s crying and Azriel is red in the face with a murderous expression.

“Can you all shut up? I have a head-“ you start

“Y/n I’m so sorry!” Mor hugs you tight, almost knocking you over.

“What the…” you start to question before you’re cut off again.

“Do you know his name, y/n? I’ll make sure he is taken care of.” Rhys asks. His voice is gentle, but his face is full of anger.

“Like hell you will. I would’ve killed him last night if I didn’t have to get her back here. I should’ve fucking killed that piece of garbage.” Azriel mutters.

What the hell is going on? You pull away from Mor and face the group.

“Does anyone care to tell me what we’re talking about?” You ask cautiously while rubbing your temples in an attempt to alleviate your headache.

“Of course she doesn’t remember you guys. Give her some space.” Feyre says softly and leads you back inside your room with Mor. The three males protest, but Feyre gives them a stern look and shuts the door. “Sit down, y/n. I’ll tell you what’s happening.”

You sit on your bed and look between Feyre and Mor anxiously.

“You were found outside of Rita’s being carried by a stranger and you were close to unconscious. You’ve been asleep for almost the entire day now.”

You stare back in stunned silence. The memories slowly start to return, but before you can ask a question Mor starts tearing up again.

“You don’t know how sorry I am y/n. You were hitting it off with that guy and next thing I knew, you were gone. I thought you went home with him like you planned, but when Azriel told me-“

“Azriel? Wait… what?” You ask.

“Azriel found you and brought you back here. He made sure you were safe before finding me and going ballistic on me for not watching out for you. I’m so sorry I really didn’t mean to let you get hurt!” She cries again.

“I don’t understand. I vaguely remember someone bringing me home, but I could’ve sworn it was you, Mor, not Azriel.” They both shake their heads. You sit silently and process the information for a minute before saying the only thing that may be helpful in this moment.

“His name was Mikael. He had dark hair, hazel eyes, and wore a red shirt.” You whisper, still in shock. Feyre’s eyes glaze over for a moment as she relays this information to Rhys. Suddenly its completely quiet outside your door.

———

You spend the rest of the day in your room, still exhausted and fighting a hangover. Or the after effects from the drug… not sure. There’s a soft knock at your door.

“Come in.” You call out. Azriel slowly opens the door and walks in. You can tell he just got back and tried to clean up quickly, but there’s still a few smears of blood on him.

“Uh… hi.” You say awkwardly and motion for him to sit. Azriel sits on the end corner of your bed and looks at you with a mixture of anger and fear in his eyes. His shadows are swirling around you, as if to check that you are actually okay. They’ve always taken an interest in you, which you normally appreciate, but right now it just makes you feel guiltier for last night.

“Thank you for finding me last night. I probably wouldn’t be okay right now if you hadn’t.” You whisper, avoiding his gaze. He takes a deep breath, like he is trying to control himself.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He mutters angrily. Azriel stands and starts pacing the room. “You could’ve been fucking killed!” He raises his voice.

“I know. I didn’t-“

“And then you go and say… fuck y/n!” He runs his hands over his face in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Az.” You whisper, fighting the tears that are building. Wait, why the hell is he mad at you? You didn’t drug yourself. “Azriel, it’s not like I planned for this to happen.” You say a bit annoyed. He lets out a cold laugh.

“Yeah, but you planned on going out to find someone to fuck. Wearing that fucking dress and letting that fucking worthless filth touch you.” He spits out angrily as his shadows swirl around your ankles.

“Okay look, I can do what I want and wear what I want. Why is it any of your business if I try to hook up with someone?” Your eyes burn and you fight the tears. “Obviously I wasn’t expecting someone to put something in my drink. I’ll be more careful next time!” You yell louder.

“Next time?” His voice drops to a whisper and he looks at you with an expression you can’t quite decipher.

“I don’t have to justify my actions to you, Azriel. Why do you even care? You’re never around anymore. Always too busy sneaking off with Elain to hang out with your best friend!” Hurt fills your voice. You hadn’t meant to let that last part slip out.

“Why are you bringing her into this?” His voice drops lower and his brow furrows.

“She has a mate, Azriel! What the hell are you doing?” You sigh and put your head in your hands. “I just miss you.”

He stops pacing and stares at you. “I’m right here. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

“Yes you have! I never see you anymore!” Its true. He never makes plans with you anymore and it has been tearing you apart. It’s strange that he was even at Rita’s in the first place, because he never wanted to go even before he ditched you for Elain. Wait, why was he there? “You were at Rita’s last night when you found me.” It’s not a question.

He nods.

“Why were you there?” He obviously wasn’t expecting you to ask that because panic flashes in his eyes for a brief moment. “I know you weren’t there with Elain because she hates it there. And I didn’t see you inside with the guys.” I try to remember him outside the bar, but it’s all fuzzy.

“I was worried.” He mutters so quiet you barely hear.

“What?”

“I was worried about you y/n!” You look at him surprised. “I saw you in the hall ready to go out in that dress. God, that fucking dress. And the entire night I kept thinking about something bad happening. So I waited outside to make sure you and Mor were safe. And then I saw that fucking piece of shit with his hands on you and I just…” he trails off and takes a deep breath. “If something had happened to you… if I hadn’t been there to stop it…” His expression looks angry again.

You pause and process his words. He almost sounds jealous. But that can’t be it. Because he has no reason to be jealous.

He sighs again and continues with a softer voice. “Do you remember anything after you left?” He asks with a hint of desperation in his voice. You think hard for a moment. You thought Mor got you home and you told her what happened. But it wasn’t Mor. It was Azriel. And then you said not to tell Azriel because… fuck. Your eyes go wide.

Azriel stalks closer and is inches from you. “Do you remember what you said? Was that the drug talking or you?” He whispers low and gets closer, his eyes searching yours for an answer. This cannot be happening. If you thought your friendship was screwed before, this is definitely the final straw.

“Az…” you whisper.

“Tell me.” His voice is demanding.

“I don’t-“ you start, but Azriel turns and runs his hands over his face in frustration. He stays facing away from you, muttering something to himself.

“Azriel, I cant. You already avoid me as it is. I don’t think I can handle losing you as a friend. Losing you completely.” He obviously already knows, but saying it feels too real. Your words cause him to turn back around and get closer to you. Azriel leans over you, caging you against the bed in between his arms and stares at you silently for a moment. His shadows have stilled completely around you two. There’s something desperate in his eyes. He’s so close, closer than he has been in months. Hell, he’s closer than he’s been ever. You look from his eyes to his lips for a split second, mesmerized by the way he barely bites his bottom lip.

“Fuck it.” He mutters. Before you can ask what, he crashes his lips into yours. You freeze for a moment in shock, before melting into his touch. He lets out a low groan as you wrap your arms around him and pull him closer. His calloused hands wrap into your hair and tug slightly, earning a small whimper from you. It takes several moments before you come up for air.

“Azriel… I don’t understand.” You ask breathlessly.

“Please tell me what you said last night is true. That you feel the way I feel.” He rests his forehead on yours.

“What about Elain?”

“I don’t care about Elain! I care about you! She knows that I’m in l-“ He pauses and takes a breath. “I was trying to get over you.” He grabs your chin softly and pulls your face to meet his. “It’s always been you, y/n. Please.”

You stare silently in shock for several moments. “Y/n…” Azriel’s voice pulls you from your trance and you realize he’s waiting for you to answer.

Just as you are about to respond, there is a knock on the door. Azriel quickly pulls away and sits on the edge of the bed away from you, as if nothing were happening.

“Come in!” You call out softly, and Feyre opens the door holding a plate of food.

“I should go.” Azriel says quietly and heads towards the door.

“Wait.” You try to stop him, but he keeps walking.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, y/n.” Azriel opens the door and leaves without a second glance. His shadows remain for a moment, before quickly retreating, as if being called to follow. Feyre gives you a questioning look, but you just shake your head and fall back onto the bed, finally letting the tears flow freely.

thank you for reading!! :)

Read Part Two

[daydreams-after-dark]

Hi love >_<!! How are you???

Because it's almost my birthday. (just 15 days !) Could you maybe write something for my birthday? :> I am requesting it very early because I'm so busy with my own life, including my mental health, so I won't be online often ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜)  ( 1 am totally okay, tho!! So don't worry about me!) You can post it before or after my birthday. I don't really mind when!

Something about birthday sex mixed with slight angst if you don't mind?? (Pure smut is totally okay!) Make it filthy and add whatever you want, as I already said once; I'm open for everything!! (I'm a slut ngl..)

P.s. I'm into piss lately..shhh

- lots of love 🎪

pairing: male escort!lino x fem birthday girl reader (I hope it's okay that I have chosen Lino for this?)

Your friends pay for a sex worker for your birthday, but what happens when arrives and you already know each other?

A/n: Hey Happy Birthday 🎪 my love. I hope you are well and taking care of yourself 😘 Tending to real life and mental health is extremely important.

I hope that my little scenario is okay, I am struggling with writing lately. The ideas are there, but the execution is not as good as I want it to be.

warnings below the cut

CW: Piss Kink (f on m), breeding kink, unprotected p in v (pls be safe), restraints, paid sex, birthday sex, oral sex, vaginal fingering.

You’re not really sure why you decided to dial the number on the gift card your best friends gave you. Really? Why of all the presents they could have chosen, did they think it appropriate to gift you a male escort/gigalo? One who does home visits at that?

Yep! They knew you hadn’t had sex in almost a year, and they knew you really needed to get laid.

You’d never paid for sex before. Technically, you’re not paying for sex in this instance either, your friends have. But still. What are you thinking? Letting a stranger come in and do things to you.

The doorbell chimes and you let out a shaky breath. “Happy Birthday, Bitch!” You wink at yourself in the mirror and take one last look over your body. You’d shaved your legs, popped on a little thong, and slipped a short satin dress on. No bra. Fuck! You sigh. It’s basically a short satin camisole nightie. Will this be okay?

The doorbell chimes again and you hurry to open the door to your apartment.

“Lino?” You gasp in surprise when you see your brother’s best friend standing in your doorway and not the escort. You squint your eyes. It is him isn’t it? You haven’t seen him in five years. But it has to be him.

“Y/n? Noona?” He smiles and takes a good look at your face. “Um… I…ah…must have the wrong address.” He begins nervously. “Let me just check where I’m supposed to be.” He whips out his phone. “Unit 4, 70…”

“Yep. That’s this address.” You say awkwardly.

You stare at each other for a moment as realisation hits.

“You booked an escort?”

“You’re the escort?”

Lino laughs while you hide your face in your hands “Fuck! This is so embarrassing.” You wail.

“So you did hire an escort. Well then... Do you want me to come in? Leave? You’re the client. It’s your call.”

“My friends organized it. They think…” you trail off.

So many questions run through your mind. Why is Lino an escort? And dear god, what if he tells your brother about this? Is Lino actually going to fuck you? No! That’s probably very unlikely. But he is extremely attractive… and he is paid for… You bite your lip.

“So? What’s it going to be?”

“Hmm?” Your thought are broken.

“Shall I stay, or leave?” He repeats.

——

You couldn’t turn him away, that would have been rude right? So you brought him in, offered him a drink and snack and invited him to sit on the couch with you.

Now you’re half an hour into a conversation about what you had both been doing for the past few years. You learned that being a gigalo… sorry, escort, is Lino’s side hustle while he brings to life his big dream of opening a restaurant-slash-dance entertainment establishment.

“Like a strip club?” You raise an eyebrow.

He rolls his eyes. “No, not a strip club. It’s going to be for all ages.”

He learned about you too. What you do for a living, your bad breakup a year ago, how it’s your birthday and your friends organized this as a gift.

He unzips his black backpack that you hadn’t even realized he had with him, and retrieves a tablet.

“Alright, let’s see what you have booked.” He opens an app and smirks as he skims over the details.

“Wait! What are you reading?” You try to catch a glimpse of the screen but he pulls it away.

“I don’t know what my friends told you…” you tug your hair wishing you were invisible.

"it says here: vanilla sex." He turns the tablet to show you.

Your mouth hangs open in shock. "Those fucking bitches think I want vanilla sex?" You shriek. "Or was that the cheapest option?" you pout.

Lino laughs haughtily. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Or orgasm giver. What is it I've read on Instagram - 'don't bite the hand that fingers you?'"

"Give it here." You snatch the device from him. "Am I suppose to sign something? Tick some boxes? Consent to some shit?" You scroll the screen.

"The next tab over." Lino leans over your shoulder. "Yep. Right there." He pokes his tongue out of his mouth slightly as his eyes catch some of the "inclusions" that can be selected.

In your desire to prove your friends wrong, and that you don’t want just vanilla sex, you hastily tick every single box on the form and sign the bottom. "There! Surprise me! It is my birthday afterall." you huffed.

Lino raises an eyebrow. Then suddenly he pulls you by an arm and a leg forcing you to straddle him. You yelp in surprise, but it’s quickly replaced with a sigh, and you really hope he didn’t notice.

His face is awfully close to yours and you can already feel yourself growing wet with anticipation. Are you really about to be fucked by your little brother’s best friend? The one that used to have sleepovers at your house. The one that used to wear cat print pyjamas?

“Do you even know what you signed up for?” He whispers eyeing you up and down and swallowing hard.

“I said surprise me.” You gulp.

His hands run up your thighs. “Is this thing expensive?” He asks gently tugging at the hem of your black satin dress.

You shake your head.

“Good.” He growls as he tears the garment from your body. Your hands fly up to cover your exposed breasts, but he tugs them away roughly. “I used to wonder what your tits looked like. Fuck! They’re perfect.” He sighs and takes a nipple into his mouth. You gasp and throw your head back. You grind against his crotch, and you notice he has hardened in his jeans.

“Wanna know a secret?” He says as he pops off your nipple and licks it. “I used to get hard when you’d walk around your house braless.” He bites down your nipple making you cry out. “Sometimes,” he begins to pepper kisses across your chest towards your other nipple. “You’d show me your nipples through your shirt. They’d get so hard, poking against the fabric. I’d have to go jack off. That’s how hot I thought you were.”

“Were?” You raise an eyebrow.

"Were. Are. Always will be." He locks eyes on you and you feel the tension in the air thicken.

"Are you really going to fuck me, Lino?" you whisper quietly.

"I'm going to make this a night you're never going to forget." He replies huskily.

"You didn't answer my question." You smirk, threading your fingers through his dark locks.

He holds onto your ass as he slips off the couch to lay you down onto your soft fluffy rug in the middle of your living room.

Leaning over you, propped up on one arm and cupping your cheek with the other, he leans down and captures your mouth in a kiss. The gentleness is unexpected, but it isn't long until he is kissing you more purposefully. His tongue glides over yours making you hum into his mouth. He moans at that, deepening the kiss even further, like he wants to possess you.

You hold on for dear life as he presses his strong thigh between your legs, nudging them open so he can press hard against your core. Your back bows off the floor and you whimper. Fuck, you must sound so desperate. But it has been so long since you had anyone, besides yourself, has touched you.

He presses his thigh against you again and chuckles when you respond with another moan. "Such pretty noises, Noona." He smiles against your cheek. "If I were to touch your pussy, I bet it would be soaking." He leans up and looks at you. "I'm dying to know."

He looks around the living room, seemingly making some kind of assessment, and then he's back into his backpack. You lean up on your arms to see him with a velvet-like rope in his hands. Your cunt clenches and an excitement swirls around your stomach.

"Lay back down." He instructs, and then he's tying your wrists together with the soft rope. He positions your arms above your head and secures the ropes to the leg of your chunky timber coffee table.

But that's not all. Lino is back with more ropes, this time tying one around each of your legs. He manages to position you in such a way that he can secure the other end of the ropes to the little wooden legs of your couch, forcing you to be spread open for him.

You feel so exposed and so utterly vulnerable, even with your tiny thong on. But even that doesn't stay on for long, as Lino cuts it off with scissors.

He sits back on his heels between your legs and takes you in. "That's better. You won't be able to squirm away. Now I can get a good look at your pussy." He bites his lip and runs his hands up the inside of your thighs. You shiver at his touch, not sure how you're going to last. You're on the verge of an orgasm as it is.

"So fucking wet, Noona." He states as he spreads your folds gently and runs his thumb through your arousal. He slides a finger into your tightness, then a second. "Tight too. It's been a while, hmm?" He teases.

"Unfortunately, yes." You cry.

"Let's take care of you then." He promises and without warning begins to finger fuck you hard, fast, and angled directly into your g-spot.

"No! Lino! Not yet...can't come yet!" You beg.

"Oh Kitten, you are gonna come when I say, and as many times as I say."

He's relentless with his fingers. You can't squirm away, forced to take what he is giving you. You're cunt is already producing the most lewd sounds you've ever heard. How can you possibly be this wet? How can Lino be so good at this? Your eyes roll back as you give in, accepting the pleasure. The tightness inside of you ready to burst. "Oh god... fuck..." you pant. Your chest feels flush and you know your face is turning a slight shade of pink as you edge closer to release.

"That's it... come all over my fingers." He coaxes.

You come hard, your back lifting off the floor, your thighs trembling, and tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

You collapse, panting. "Lino," you say as your try to catch your breath. "So good...so fucking good. How are you this good?" You sob.

"Shhh. It's okay. Here. Suck these." he lays beside you and pushes his glistening fingers into your mouth. You've never really had anyone shove their fingers into your mouth before, but it feels so erotic. You moan as you taste yourself on him, urging him to push his fingers deeper into your mouth. You make a pathetic sound when he goes to pull them away, so he lets you suck and lightly choke on them a little longer.

"If that's how you suck my fingers, my cock's not going to stand a chance." he says with a half smile. Your eyes snap open and you stare at him with pleading eyes.

"Oh you wanna suck it do you?" he pulls his fingers out of your mouth.

You nod. "Please! Let me..."

He sucks in a breath. "Well, I can't say no to the birthday girl. Or client. Especially when they selected everything under the sun on their terms of agreement. Including, golden showers."

"Wait! What?" You lift your head, horrified. Minho looks at you incredulously, as he strips his clothes off. You are stunned. Partially because you didn't even know that was on the list, and also because Lino naked is the most beautiful thing you have ever laid eyes on.

"It's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want." He says as pumps his delicious looking cock a few times. He seems to be hard as stone and leaking. He's leaking for you? Fuck.

You don't have time to even think more about the piss option, as Lino positions himself so you are in 69 position. You open your mouth wide, allowing him to sink his cock into your eager mouth, while at the same time he buries his face in your pussy. You moan around his thickness as he demonstrates just how skilled he is with his mouth.

He eats you out like a starved man. Lapping at you eagerly. You try to grind against his face, but he holds you firm so you can't move. He groans against you, making you whimper around his cock. It's a delicious cycle, each of your sounds and vibrations from your mouths, making the other respond in the same way. Lino starts to thrust into your mouth, his balls hitting you in the face each time. You want him to suffocate you, and you wish your hands were free so you could pull him in deeper.

All you can do is try to meet his thrusts by lifting your head as much as you can and hope he gets the message. He does get the message, and fucks your face as he slides several fingers into your cunt. He slurps on your clit and hits that sweet spot inside you, all while you're struggling for air.

It's too much and you come again. This time harder than before. He works you through it, slowing both his cock and fingers down to a slow pace. He eventually peels himself off you and sits beside you panting.

"Lino?" You whimper looking at his disheveled hair, and drenched chin. "Didn't you want to come down my throat?" you panted.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to?" he says shyly. He unties you from your restraints and you sit up and give him a devious look.

"What?" he looks back at you suspiciously.

"When you used to jack off because of me, what did you think about?"

"Oh, right. That?" he lays down on the rug beside you. "Well." he pauses to think. "I often imagined you riding me. Like... You couldn't contain your urges, so you'd find me in your brother's room and push me down and force me to breed you." He admits.

"In my brother's room?"

"Yah! He wouldn't be there in the fantasies." He growled. But you were already moving into position.

"So... you mean I'd climb over you like this?" You throw a leg over him hovering over his needy cock.

He nods and swallows hard.

"Then what? I sink down onto your thick, hard cock, because I need it so badly?'

"Y-yes. Wait!" His eyes flick open in horror. "Condom."

You lean down over him and kiss him on the mouth. You really don't know where this confidence is coming from. Maybe learning that Minho had it bad for you when he was younger makes you feel powerful.

"Oh, but Lino. How are you gonna breed me if we use a condom?" you whisper.

"Fuck!" He moans and pulls you down hard over his length until he is completely inside of you.

"What are you doing to me, Noona?" He whimpers as you start to roll your hips. He's so deep, and fills you so perfectly, and you can already feel your third orgasm building.

Lino's hands are all over you, caressing, squeezing, digging his fingers in. Eventually his hands find purchase on your hips, digging his fingers in hard enough to bruise as he rocks you hard on his cock. Your clit grinds perfectly against his body. It's rough, fast, slippery from your slick. He slaps your ass a few times and growls when your flesh jiggles.

"I'm close." You squeak.

"Fuck! Me too. Me too. Piss on me." He pants.

"What?" You cry, but you don't slow down. You need to come so bad that nothing is going to slow you down.

"Do it." he cries. "Hurry!"

Fuck! Really? He really wants you to? Can you even do it? You aren't sure that you're body will even let you, even if you wanted to.

"Do it now, Noona. I'll give you all my cum if you do." He sounds so desperate underneath you, that you close your eyes and let go.

You feel a warmth pool on his pelvis between your legs. You dare yourself to open your eyes. You peek through your lashes to see Lino with the most aroused expression you have ever seen in your life. Then he starts fucking into you. Painfully hard. The breath knocked from your lungs with each thrust. You feel him grow even hard inside you as he is on the verge from exploding, and it sets r you orgasm.

You clamp down hard around him like a vice. He cries out, filling you to the brim with his cum, just like he promised he would.

Your orgasms are intense, long, satisfying.

You flop down on top of him, allowing your heart to calm and your breath to return to normal.

"Lino. I hope there was an inclusion where you clean up and replace damaged items in your terms of service. Cos this rug is well and truly fucked."

"I'll take care of it." He hums.

"Lino?"

"Hmm?" he wraps his arms around you.

"This was the best birthday present ever."

"You're very welcome." He smiles to himself, but you don't see it because your face is on his chest.

“Happy birthday, Noona.”

————

A/n: I feel like Lino breached several rules as an escort… unsafe sex, knowing the client, having had a crush on the client in the past… but this is how the story turned out… so…. 🥴

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @fun-fanfics @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @kyunchoni @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @ismokeeweed @galaxycatdrawz @jiminssluttyminx @teddy-stay @lunearta

[bunnylovesani]

Daddy Issues

(This is what I imagine him looking like in this fic)

Content warnings: MDNI, reader has daddy issues, 20 year age gap, Anakin is your best friend’s dad, drinking, fingering, dirty talk, general smut with a bit of fluff

WC: 2.6k

You and Leia met in your first year of college and your friendship quickly blossomed. Despite being from the same town, you’d never bumped into each other. If you had, you’re sure you would’ve remembered him. The first time you’d met him was Christmas, 4 years ago; it was your first time coming round to the Skywalker residence and all you knew was that Leia was raised by a single dad, who was now in his 40s. The moment you laid eyes on him, you were fascinated. He had dark blonde hair which curled into golden ringlets at the ends and a mysterious quality about him you were sure made the women weak at the knees- how he’d managed to stay single for most of his life was beyond you.

Despite your fervent initial attraction to him, you tried your best to put all of it aside. Besides the obvious reasons to restrain yourself, he was also the first positive male figure you’d had in your life. He was a damn good father; always present in Leia’s life and, since you two were joined at the hip, by extension yours too. You ignored every sign, every impulse, every sizzling moment of tension that came between you two- tension you naturally assumed was one sided- he’s a decent, respectable man after all.

You had it all under control- until you received a call confirming the graduate program you’d applied for months ago had been accepted. The subsequent week was spent getting daydrunk while hesitantly packing your entire life into a van full of brown boxes- or rather, directing Leia to do it for you since you were too inebriated. It all boiled down to your final night; one last night in the suburbs you’d felt suffocated by your entire life before you moved to the big city to start your shiny new life.

So why did you feel sad? You suspected you knew the reason but spent the better half of an evening denying it and battling the growing urge to pay him a visit. Eventually, when the reality that you were about to leave him forever sunk in, you found your feet taking you out the door of their own volition. Preparing to ambush him with the help of some liquid courage you’d choked down prior to leaving, you rung the doorbell of his house for what you thought may be the last time.

“Oh, hey honey. Leia just left to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house, you just missed her. I thought you’d already said your goodbyes?”. He innocently questions as he opens the door and lets you in.

“I know, it’s you I came to say goodbye to.” You say anxiously, staring at him intensely through your lashes.

“I see, I’m honoured.” He smiles and approaches you, pulling you into a hug. “Good luck with everything sweetheart, stay safe and above all- remember to have fun! Life passes you by in an instant and one day you’ll wake up as old as I am and kick yourself for not grabbing every opportunity you had.”

“Funny you say that, Sir. That’s the exact mantra I’ve adopted recently. Fuck it, right?” You help yourself to the glass of whiskey he was holding out of his hand and take a sip.

“Can I sit with you for a little while?” You plop onto his cushioned couch before he can reply.

“Erm, yeah of course, make yourself at home.” He says welcomingly, though with a perplexed expression on his slightly wrinkled face. “Are you okay?” He wonders if there’s a reason you’re acting so strange. You don’t usually drink.

“I’m great, thank you Sir.” You bat your lashes. “Just feeling sentimental with the circumstances and all.”

“How many times have I said, call me Anakin. I know I’m old but after so many years I’d say we’re on a first name basis.” He chuckles, taking a seat beside you on the sofa, keeping a respectable distance. “I know I’m nothing much to you but I really do think of you and Leia as my girls. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” He says endearingly, smiling at you kindly.

That’s when you’re reminded of the reason you came here tonight. You had every intention of telling him how you truly felt, how you’d had a raging crush on him from the moment you met him- and now that you might never see him again, you saw no reason why you shouldn’t act on those feelings.

But hearing him compare you to his daughter filled a hole you felt inside you ever since your father abandoned you- while simultaneously making you feel sick to your stomach.

You stared into his warm eyes, encased with crows feet and accompanied by two prominent creases on his forehead. You shouldn’t find a man of his age so attractive but you do.

“You know, I don’t think you’re old.” You state simply.

“What?” He asks somewhat confused by your meaning.

“You said one day I’ll wake up as old as you. I don’t think you’re old at all. If anything, you’re in your prime.” You look away. “You’re not nothing to me either.”

He looks visibly stunned, though he tries to mask it by refilling a glass of whiskey, the brown liquid almost spilling everywhere.

“Right back at you, kid. Well I’m sure you’ve got a lot of packing to do so I won’t keep you. You need a ride?” He shuffles in his seat.

“No. Not the kind of ride you’re thinking of anyway.” A wave of boldness overcomes you and you feel the alcohol burning through your veins as you shuffle closer to him.

“Uh, I think that whiskey’s gone straight to your head. Why don’t I get you some water?” He’s about to get up but you grab him by the hand and force him to stay seated, holding onto it longer than necessary.

“You know how I feel about you Anakin. I know you know.” You stare deep into his mature blue eyes as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with an apprehensive gulp.

“Now that’s enough young lady. You absolutely should not be thinking about me in that way. I’m almost twice your age.” He sternly warns you and you can’t help but wince. The way he’s scolding you is triggering some deep rooted daddy issues. You knew you always had them to some extent but you never knew just how bad they were until you met Anakin.

“I dont mean to make you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. I’ll leave right now if you want me to, you’ll never see me again. Just tell me you don’t feel anything towards me and I’ll be on my way.” You’re huddled over him with your legs on the sofa, hand slowly inching its way towards his thigh.

A flash of conflicting emotions run through his eyes- he’s obviously embarrassed, perhaps shocked - though you find it hard to believe he had no clue at all- but there’s something else. He’s debating with himself, you can see the cogs whirring in his mind.

“I can’t say that.” He meets your gaze. “I care about you a lot, you know that. Which is why you need to leave. You’re not in the right state of mind.” He gets up again but you pull him down and climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I have been in love with you for 4 years, Anakin. You are my every waking thought. I know it’s wrong and you’d never be with me but I can’t control myself. If I can’t have you forever, let me have just this one night- please.” You wait for him to object to the way you’re sitting on him but to your surprise, he doesn’t.

“Alright, honey.” He grumbles softly after a little while, looking at you with a subdued expression that conveyed both concern and understanding. “Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll give you what you want. I’m yours for the night.”

You sit there, stunned. You were fully expecting him to kick you out of the house and tell Leia everything. You were expecting anything other than him giving in. Is he just taking pity on you and thinks this will help you get over your daddy issues? He knows you have them. Or is he as sick and twisted as you are?

“Can…can I…” You lean in, pressing your fingertips against his lips.

“Leave it all to me sweetheart. Daddy will make it all better.” He wastes no time taking your hands into his own and kissing your fingertips softly, before pressing his lips against yours.

You’re too stunned to react so you allow him to kiss your motionless lips, your eyes still wide open in disbelief. You’d never been so grateful to someone for taking the lead.

“Close those pretty eyes for me baby, you’re safe now.” He kisses your eyelids softly and his gentle caresses awaken a deep urge within you.

You grab at his collared shirt, loosening his tie and unbuttoning it. “Been working more late nights at the office?” You mumble into his lips as you push the crisp white shirt off his shoulders, leaving his muscles exposed.

“That’s because I have two women in my life who bleed me dry.” He chuckles and you smile at the memory; he’s shelled out for you on more than one occasion- from plane tickets and birthday gifts to a new MacBook for college because your one broke and you couldn’t afford another since you’d been fired from your waitressing job- he even agreed that that guy deserved to get a drink thrown in his face for grabbing you. He said that if he were there, he would’ve done worse.

Before you freefall into a psychoanalytical hole, Anakin rips your skirt off - it’s as if he can hear your mind working overtime. You gasp a little as he kneads the fat of your ass cheeks roughly, guiding you until you’re grinding against him. You can feel him getting hard, and oh did it feel big. You’d stolen subtle glances at his crotch on numerous occasions, contemplating what it might look like, what colour the tip might be, what it might taste like. You couldn’t bare to be left in the dark any longer so you reached for his belt and impatiently started undoing it- but you were stopped by his large hands cupping yours.

“Not just yet princess. I wanna take my time with you.” He whispered coarsely and the feeling of his warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine. Before you knew it, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on his lap with your back facing his front. He traced his tongue in big open kisses along your neck while his hands trailed up and down your thighs, before he hooked his fingers around your panties.

“Lets get these off shall we?” He purred and his words sent sparks straight down to your core. He lowered your underwear only down to your knees, before spreading your legs a little, his hand placed under one of your thighs to keep it up. You felt the cold air hit you and knew instantly that you were soaked.

You breathing was reduced to short little pants as his fingers reached the inner folds of your pussy, and it felt like every caress touched your soul. You started squirming about in his lap as two of his fingers slid into you.

“Goddamn… oh baby, I didnt even mean for that to happen but you’re just so wet they slipped right in.” You mewled at his lustful words as he curled his fingers inside you, rubbing your clit with the base of his thumb.

“Oh Ani…ah fuck!.” You cried. “Anakin!”

“Yes sweetheart, what is it?” Gaining speed, he grabbed your cheeks with his free hand and turned your head to force you to look at him but you were too stimulated to respond.

“Do you hear how wet you are? And here I thought you were a good girl.” He maintains eye contact and your cheeks flush at the lewd sounds coming from your core. You take a glance and see his hand is glistening with your arousal, wetness squelching as it pours down to the Rolex on his wrist.

“Aah…I, I’m sorry daddy! Mm can’t help it” You manage to squeal out, embarassed by how wet and helpless he made you.

“Don’t you dare apologise sweetheart. Daddy loves how wet this pussy gets. Is this all for me?”

“Yes, yes Sir it’s all for you- mm all yours!” You moan as you feel your climax fast approaching. “Please can I cum? Pleasee daddy!”

“Yes princess, cum for me.” He pumps his fingers in and out of you at such a tempo you have to hold onto his arms for stability.

As if someone opened a dam, your orgasm washes over you and you let out a stupified scream- you wanted to say his name but your brain is so scrambled all you can manage is a mumbled moan of incoherent syllables.

“Such a good girl baby, well done honey.” He plants kisses all over your cheek and neck as your heart rate climbs down.

As you come down from your high, the realisation of what you’re doing dawns on you. As if he could read your mind, he takes your face into his hands.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? If you think you’ll regret it, tell me now. I don’t think I could handle it if we made love and you woke up regretting it.” He speaks softly, as if being too harsh might scare you away.

“No, no it’s not you.” You quickly respond. “I just feel a little cheap. I don’t ever have one night stands so I’m kinda out of my depth here… and the guilty thoughts about Leia creeping up on me don’t help either.”

“Hey, you’re not cheap.” You scoff at his attempt to reassure you. “Stop that, I mean it. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you regardless of the outcome of this. But…I mean I’m out of my depth here too. If we’re being honest, I haven’t had sex in years.” Anakin admits and your jaw drops. How could a man this damn fine not get laid for that long?

“It’s a personal choice.” He corrects before you jump to any conclusions about what might be wrong with him. “I don’t like one night stands either and if I’m not in love, I have no real interest in sex.” Your heart leaps at the insinuation- if he’s willing to sleep with you, that must mean…right?

“So let’s not have a one night stand then.” He continues and your heart drops. I guess you thought wrong.

“Let’s keep seeing each other. I ache all over at the thought of this being the last time I see you. I need you in my life. I don’t care if it’s wrong, I don’t care what people say. Leia will come round to the idea eventually, she has to.”

“I love you.” You reply a little too quickly, staring at him with so much admiration you think your heart might burst.

“I love you too, my sweet girl.”

Part 2

[hypnotic-kink]

Tan lines?:)

100% RANT

Please don't take this personal @builtincalifornia, I'm not directing these comments towards you. I get the ASK, I went on vacation, and I have posted pics of my tan before & bikini pics. I did take some tan line pics and a few full body bikini pics on vacation, I was going to post them, but one super disrespectful guy ruined that request, so no, no tan lines will be posted ... I feel mentally abused after that guy. I also know I post some provocative pics and it can attract the mega pervs (who I end up blocking), I get it, I accept that will happen occasionally, and I can handle most comments. Some will say because I post pics "I'm asking for it," well, that's a bullshit cop out because you can have all the pervy thoughts you want to have, but you're either a decent human being in comments/DMs or not, so that excuse doesn't fly with me. Do better! Show your appreciation in a respectful way! I've gotten good at sidestepping this stuff but now I need to be crystal clear, my pictures give NO ONE the right to message me sexually, make demands, say nasty things and then get pissed when I say no and proceed to call me every name in the book. He's blocked and I will block anyone that displays childish behavior like that in DM or in my comments. If you agree with Him, block me and good riddance. If you think my pics are hot or sexy ...hey then I accomplished what I set out to do! I enjoy getting the aesthetics right on my pics, and that's awesome and I'm flattered when people think I took a great pic. Glad you like them! I also enjoy interacting on comments too, again, nothing wrong with that, newsflash, this is a photography and chat site (not a dating app). If I'm commenting to you that still isn't an open invitation to sexual comments or give anyone the right to have expectations towards me and I'll say most of you guys have been PRETTY AWESOME and I've cleaned out the really degrading ppl that used to make all the crude remarks. My blog IS a NSFW site after all, and I AM allowed to post whatever my little heart desires and let my exhibitionist side out in a safe environment if I chose to, there is NOTHING wrong with that. Don't get it twisted. I'm not here for a hook up, and I'm certainly not here to get you off. No one has the right to demand pictures of me. After 1 1/2 yrs. on this blog, the people I am friends with and do talk to in DM, you're there for a reason .... thank you for knowing my boundaries and respecting them and thank you for your friendship. Yes, women are allowed to have male friends on here, that doesn't mean we are sexting or have a sexual relationship with all of them. I do appreciate and value you. You're the best :)

To the people that want to judge me based off my posting sexy personal pictures. KISS MY ASS, you don't know me. You haven't even tried to know the woman behind the pictures & I don't have to agree with any Dom on his opinion & I certainly don't have to obey demands, from anyone, male, female, Dom or not. I'm sure there are many women who post pics that feel the same way as I do. Am I a sexual person? Absolutely, but I'm also not all about sex, so stop with the assumptions. I'm also a one-on-one relationship kind of women who isn't poly and isn't into multiple guys. So many like to lump all us women who post pics together like we're all sexting everyone in this place, but for me personally, you're wrong. I'm sure there are some men in here that the same assumptions are made too. I am not sexting any man in here and I say that publicly because I know it's the truth. I'm not a whore, a slut, or easy because I post pictures of myself. I'm pretty damn selective and there are many in here that know that and have said perhaps my expectations are even too high. AGAIN, No one owns me in here, I'm not a punching bag for you to hurl derogatory words at if you don't get your way and no one has the right to have any expectations of me, nor send dick pics, and I don't even have to respond to DMs if I choose not to. I'm always nice and polite to people who message, until it's time not to be. Me being polite is also not an invitation to say sexual comments. If I wanted to go down that path, I would, and you would know it. I'm not looking. Also, when men post their own pics, I support them 100%, that does not mean I want to get with them, or I'm perving on them. It takes guts to put yourself out there, for men and women. Men and women support me so why wouldn't I support them?! You guys all rock too! While I'm on a rant, do not, I repeat do NOT ask for more pictures of me if you do message me. READ PROFILES DAMMIT, mines crystal clear. PS: I am far from a prude, just sick of comments that men would never say to me if they were face to face with me in real life.

[old-school-butch]

Hello again <3

I sent you an anon that you replied to on April 1st, which was me asking how ex-TIFs are received back into womanhood. Your reply gave me a little foothold which ended up very comforting as I started coming out rapid-fire to all my friends as detrans. this is primarily a message for other people in my situation, who are afraid and might want a template of what you might expect will happen once you do come out with it.

Predictably, most of my friends dropped me; I've 3 friends left. Two of which continue to support trans people but can accept that i have different opinions (as long as i'm "not mean") and one of which has seen the gender critical arguments, accepted them, and agrees. So, heavy losses, but not total losses. My two siblings seemed to sigh in relief and reveal that they never believed in genderism at all, which is odd, because in my 10 years of being trans not one of them challenged me on it. my mom fell into heavy guilt over "letting me" do all this, although i was 18 when i took testo and 19 when i got surgery, so she really could not have stopped me, legally. i suppose she mainly grieves knowing that had she had the right arguments she could have saved her kid this, but i've told her she is not to blame and i hope she recognizes that.

i haven't received any real harassment, not from anyone that i PERSONALLY know, though my family has received... harassment targeted at me? my sister had a classmate begin sending her copious pro-trans propaganda (contrapoints videos) which she instructed should be sent onward to me (sis did not comply). hilarious how my 10 years of direct experience is suddenly null and void and i'm assumed to know nothing about transness.... 6 months ago i was helping people sensitivity-write trans characters. now, i'm told i can't speak for the trans experience at all, and that i do not know what it's like to be a transmasc person. told that i need to listen to the arguments more carefully, that i don't LISTEN, when i literally lived this for 10 whole years. girl, on god? they tell me i don't get it and need to educate myself. and have empathy of course.

but in general, detransing, i've discovered that there are PLENTY of people who do not actually believe in genderism but who will play along simply out of fear or social pressure. my friends aside, who i knew through "queer" circles, everyone in my family (expect my mom) has revealed they never actually believed in it. i think this might contribute to why trans people bully dissenters so badly. they know this is the truth, that no one really buys it. i think, subconsciously, i have known that too. i never downloaded grindr, i never went into the men's bathrooms. i knew that despite testo and surgery and pronouns i could never challenge men as an equal in their eyes.

interestingly, making new friends is not that hard. I lead with the fact i'm detrans and "don't believe in all that shit" and people are VERY eager to be able to, suddenly, voice their real opinions without being called transphobic. they begin with probing questions, uncontroversial statements like "i agree they shouldn't put males in women's sports..." but if you continue to agree and not punish this daring on their part, they will reveal, with much relief and enthusiasm, what they really think. most people, normal people, really do not believe it all? i'm a brash person and can take irl confrontations quite well, hence i feel safe putting myself up as a transphobe off the bat. and people are very into this. so. the old ass saying, just be yourself.... normal people will not volunteer anti-genderist opinions on their own but when i continue to state thing after thing they open up and agree and eventually feel safe enough to admit their own thoughts. making friends, especially with non-gendie women, hasn't been that hard.

i'm going to write another message about same-sex attraction in the genderverse, but it's also a can of worms so i will make it separate from this one. again, thank you so much, for having anon on and listening, and letting us listen to each other without fear. i would hug you. to be continued

Thanks for the follow up!

My only comment is that I think most people play along out of kindness, it's not all bullying and fear, but that does impose a silence on everyone so everyone feels quite alone with their doubts.

[6rookie-writer0110]

Symbiosis

Eddie Brock x Male Reader

Request: So the idea I had was we have a low level criminal escaping back to his apartment after a run in with spider man….He is seething at having to ditch the money he stole in order escape….his fellow criminals have been arrested but he’s confident they won’t talk as he has always had a way of convincing people to protect him.

He then hears his next door Neibour blasting heavy metal music so loud ….the walls vibrate . He finally has enough and storms out there to thump on the door…and it swings open

You and your friends went to a casino to steal money, getting to the back room didn't take long. One of your friends started a fight with a random stranger and the guards went to break up the fight, while you and the others went inside the back room. The safe is open, then you and the others start to put the money in the bag. But Spiderman came through the window and did his hero pose, now you panicked. You just don't want to go back to jail

“It’s not nice to steal,” Spiderman said.

Two of your friends took out their guns and started to shoot. But Spiderman starts to dodge the bullets while you hid under the desk. You saw your friends fight Spiderman but they lost easily. Spiderman tied them up and you see the window open, you have some of the money in your backpack. You run towards the window then Spiderman starts to chase you. You run through traffic and he is catching up to you.

You run through the alley, and a stranger opens the door to throw out the trash. You ran inside and you ran through the kitchen fast. You notice that you run into a restaurant, and then you run toward the bathroom. You take off your jacket, and ski mask then you throw it all in the trash can. You take the backpack and you leave the restaurant, you still can feel your heart racing extremely fast. Feels like your heart will jump out of your chest. You look around and you don't see Spiderman, you head to the train station and he doesn't catch you. You sit down and you sigh in relief and you can't wait to go home and rest.

You finally made it home and you closed the curtains. You start to count the money and you have close to seventeen thousand dollars. Now, you start to think about where to hide the money in your apartment. You start to walk around figuring out where to hide it.

———-

You were sleeping but the loud sound of music woke you up. The heavy metal music is so loud that you notice the walls vibrating. You leave your apartment and you start to knock on the door very hard.

“Hey!!!” You screamed.

Eddie hears the door then he opens it. Eddie is shirtless and sweaty and he is gearing at you, but you find him attractive.

“What?” Eddie said.

“Loud down the music, it's too loud,” You said.

You noticed Spiderman articles on the wall, but his face crossed out.

“I will turn it down. Don't bang on my door” Eddie said.

“Fine. I hate Spiderman too” You said.

You walked away before he said something. You closed the door and Eddie went back to work out then Venom came out.

“Why you didn't punch him?” Venom asked.

“He didn't do anything. At least we know he hates Spiderman” Eddie Said

“He isn't our enemy,” Venom said

———

For the past few days, you have been seeing Eddie around. He does notice when you check him out but he hasn't said anything about it.

“You really hate him?” Eddie asked.

He saw you rip a Spiderman article in half.

“Yeah, I do. I don’t understand why people worship him, he isn't a hero” You said.

“I agree, he isn't a hero. I never met someone who doesn't like him” Eddie said

“There is a lot you don't know about me,” You said.

“My name is Eddie Brock and I'm your neighbor,” Eddie said.

“You looked familiar. I used to read your article. I remember you wrote an article about Spiderman is a theif and you exposing Dr. Carlton Drake” You said.

“You read my articles?” Eddie asked in shock.

“Yeah, I have. I see you around, neighbor” You said.

He watched you walk away then Venom said something.

“You like him,” Venom said

“Mind your business, V” Eddie mumbled.

“I knew it!” Venom said too loud.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✬

Eddie invited you to his apartment. Eddie has some workout equipment in the living room, then you see all the Spiderman pictures and articles on the wall.

“I almost killed him, but the police ruined it,” Eddie said.

“How?” You asked.

You move closer to him and he stares into your eyes.

“I almost snapped his neck. I wanted to hear the bone snap. I thought about it many times how I would kill him. You don't seem freaked out by what I'm telling you” Eddie said.

“I would do anything to see that happen,” You said.

“Why, do you hate him so much?” Eddie asked.

“He isn't a hero. I helped my friend steal because he needed the money to help his grandfather with medical bills. Spiderman caught us while fighting him, my friend fell through the window and Spiderman didn't catch him. I lost my friend that day” You said.

“Sorry, about your friend,” Eddie said.

“I didn't like Spiderman before and I will never like him. I see you are training to fight him” You said.

You stare at his biceps.

“I am. The next time I see him, I will be stronger than him” Eddie said.

“Who is that girl next to you in the picture frame?” You asked.

“Someone I used to know. She sees me as a monster because I wanted to expose Spiderman for the fraud he is” Eddie said.

He grabs the frame and throws it in the trash can. You and Eddie started to talk about something else then he told you why he became a journalist.

———

Eddie trains every day in his apartment. He had to buy another punching bag because the old punching bag ripped. He is getting more buffed and he still wants to get stronger. On his breaks, he would go on his computer, and he would hack into the police website. He searched your name and You have a record and he is in shock, he thought you didn't have one. He starts to read your records then he starts to search for information on your parents and where you grew up.

“Searching information on your nerdy boyfriend?” Venom asked.

“He isn't my boyfriend and he isn't a nerd,” Eddie said.

“I notice how he looks at you, Eddie. He likes you” Venom said.

“Shut up, V” Eddie said

He continues to search for more information on you. But Venom won't stop teasing Eddie about you.

You noticed that Eddie doesn't leave his apartment. He doesn't play the music loud anymore and you developed a crush on him.

You are going home, you an alley then you notice Eddie. You go into the alley and you see something black take over his body. Your eyes opened wider and Venom noticed.

“Eddie?” You said.

You saw Venom eat the bad guy then he looked at you.

“We are Venom,” Venom said

Before you can get away, he grabs you and you can't move. He takes you to Eddie’s apartment and he doesn't let you go.

“What are you?” You asked

Now, you see Eddie’s face.

“He won't eat you,” Eddie said.

“I’m a Symbiote and Eddie is my host,” Venom said.

He lets you go but you don't run.

“You don't seem scared,” Eddie said.

“A little bit, but I'm glad he won't eat me,” You said.

“I thought you would be scared and you would tell someone,” Eddie said.

“I won't tell anyone, promise. I think it's cool, you that have a symbiote. You can kill Spiderman since you have venom” You said.

“We are getting stronger, Y/N,” Eddie said.

Eddie punched the punching bag so hard, that he made a hole. You are impressed and you can't help to smile. Eddie started to talk about how he wanted to rip Spiderman apart, you egged him on to talk about it. Venom wants to eat him and he likes you. You notice his laptop and you see your record

“Did you do a background check on me?” You asked.

You point at his laptop and he closes it.

“I’m a journalist, Y/N. You sure have a long rap sheet, Y/N. Fraud, identity theft, robbery, and assault with a deadly weapon and more” Eddie said.

“I had my reasons,” You said.

“But why a rich kid like you, would do commit crimes? That kept me thinking” Eddie said.

“If you must know, my parents were never around. If they were, they wouldn't spend time with me, because they would be busy with work. I turned to crime because I felt I was good at something. Why did you do a background check on me?” You said.

“Relax, I’m not going to call the cops,” Eddie said.

“And I won't tell them about you planning to kill Spiderman, so we are even,” You said.

“We are,” Eddie said.

Eddie likes having you in his apartment. He takes off his shirt but he has a tank top on, you notice his bicep got bigger.

“You are definitely stronger than Spiderman,” You said.

What you said boosted his ego. You notice his tattoos cover his scars and you keep staring at it. Eddie stands closer to you and you stare into his eyes, then he always about to kiss you but Venom appears.

You sit next to Eddie on the couch. He starts to open up and you start to do the same. Eddie hasn't felt connected to anyone in a long time. You and Eddie are sitting very close to each other and you ask questions about Venom and what he can do. You stayed all night in his apartment and you fell asleep. But Eddie puts a blanket on you, he didn't want to wake you up.

“You should kiss him goodnight,” Venom said.

“Shut up, we can't make too much noise” Eddie whispered.

“I don't want to wake up your boyfriend, sorry” Venom teased

“Go to sleep, V, or else” Eddie whispered

“Fine. Tell your boyfriend goodnight” Venom said.

Eddie rolled his eyes and Venom went to sleep. Eddie sleeps next to you and it doesn't take long for him to fall asleep.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✬

You and Eddie had a plan, but Eddie and Venom didn't want to wait any longer. You went along with it, in the alley Eddie starts to mug you. Spiderman was swinging around and he saw what was going on.

“Hey!” Spiderman said.

“You won't stop us,” Eddie said.

Venom takes over Eddie’s body. Venom starts to run and Spiderman starts to chase him towards the church. They start to fight on the roof of the church. Venom grabbed him but Spiderman kicked him In the stomach, and he let go of Spiderman. You start to run towards the church and hope everything goes to plan. Venom managed to use his claw to scratch Spiderman on the chest and he started to bleed. Venom used his tentacles to grab Spiderman and slammed him hard onto the ground. Spiderman used his webs to cover Venom’s face and it worked, he managed to get away from his tentacles.

“I’m going to kill you!” Venom yelled.

Venom was close to biting him. But he managed to throw some punches and Spiderman was badly injured. But Spiderman started to move the bell and kept creating loud noises, that Venom couldn't handle it. You arrived at the church And Venom left Eddie’s body. Spiderman kicked Eddie off the roof and he fell on the second floor. You yelled for Venom when you saw Eddie fall, Venom went towards you.

You feel different and powerful. You can hear Venom talking to you in your mind. You struggled to get to the bell but you managed to stop it. You went to check on Eddie and he is passed out but he is going to make it. You went back to the bell and you managed to break it loose. Spiderman was going to punch you but you used Venom’s tentacles to grab him. You slammed him into the wall hard, then slammed him onto the ground. Spiderman is badly injured again then You start to punch him.

“You don't deserve to be a hero!” You screamed.

You kept punching him in the face then he started to bleed. You stand up now Spiderman struggled to get up. You make him chase you now you two are standing in front of the bell. Venom left and he went to get Eddie, he started to heal Eddie.

“This is the end, Spiderman,” You said.

“It’s not the end, I'm taking you two to jail” Spiderman

Spiderman is feeling weak but he doesn't want to give up. Eddie tackled Spiderman, you watch Eddie punch Spiderman in the face multiple times. Peter spits out blood then Eddie gets up and Peter puts his hand on the wall to help him stand up. Eddie used all his strength to push the bell towards Peter, you are in shock.

“He is dead, I can't believe it,” You said.

You and Eddie notice the blood, he moves the bell away from Peter. You checked his pulse and you smiled at Eddie.

“No more Spiderman” You smiled.

“Good” Eddie smirked.

You left with Eddie to his apartment. You and Eddie can't stop smiling because Spiderman is dead. Eddie takes off his shirt and he has some cuts, then you start to clean the wounds. Eddie pulled you towards him and he started to kiss you, he wrapped his arms around you. You feel his grip but you don't stop kissing him.

“Stay the night, Y/N” Eddie said.

“Okay, I will,” You said.

You start to kiss him again.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✬

It's been all over the news that Spiderman is dead. The cops don't have a lead on who did it, you and Eddie are able to live life fine. You and Eddie didn't put any label on the relationship, mainly just taking it slow and just dating.

You spent the night again at his place. You are lying on your back and Eddie comes out of the bathroom shirtless and has boxers on.

“You dyed your hair blonde, wow,” You said.

“Don’t like it?” Eddie asked.

“I didn't say that. You look different and hot” You said.

Eddie crawls on the bed and he lies on top of you. He starts to kiss you and you two start to smile. Then you start to touch his hair and you kiss him again

“I like the color” You smiled.

“We should go away and celebrate that the bug is gone” Eddie smiled.

He starts to kiss your neck.

“I like the idea. I have the money I stole from the casino, we could use that” You smiled

“Let’s leave tonight” Eddie smiled

You nod and he starts to kiss you again. Venom showed Eddie how you looked when you two teamed up, and Eddie was impressed. How he looks with Venom is a lot different from how you look with Venom.

[pinkyjulien]

I really, really hate the "Female V is canon" vs "Male V is canon" debate that been popping here and here in the tags those past weeks

Cyberpunk 2077 is a Role Playing Game, there is no "canon" protagonist, that's the whole point. We all have a different playstyles, different stories and headcanons, our custom V is The Canon V of Our Own playthroughs!

After Phantom Liberty dropped, I've seen a lot of players, on Tumblr or Twitter, voicing their concerne and disappointment in how much more Female V focused the official promo, videos and even in-game credits became

I was one of them too, expressing my feelings multiple times, sometimes awkwardly, frustrated that Male V players were once again brushed to the side, because that's how it feels like, right?

Well, it might feels like it, but this isn't the case AT ALL, far from it. This is only what I would call a "Fandom Phenomenon" and I want to talk more about it a bit

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine who works in the game industry and it opened my eyes on the matter, and I've since been really interested in seeing RPGs statistics!

Because it's really, really important to make the difference between the Casual Player Base (majority of players) and the Fans / Fandom Base (minority of players)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I always been lurking in fandoms here on Tumblr, since Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and now with Cyberpunk 2077 and Baldur's Gate 3

First I want to drop some stats- might be completly wrong, but I'm only sharing my point of view here, in an attempt to explain why some people are frustrated with Female V being the focus (and why we shouldn't be!)

I think it's not wrong to say that fandoms are mostly occupied by women and fem-identifying individuals; fandoms are a safe place for players and fans to share their passions. Women are STILL HEAVILY harassed and hated in the gaming industry as a whole, it doesn't take a lot of digging to catch a vile comment on Twitter or on Twitch for example, you cannot go far without seeing someone either attacking or sexualizing them

This is a huge problem in the industry still, every games that release with a female protagonist get trashed- just look at the bullshit surrounding GTA 6 just because players will be able to play as a woman as an option

Fandoms are also safe for non-gender conforming people, non-binaries, trans people and queer men, but I think fem individuals and women are a clear majority, at least on Tumblr (only talking about genders identity here and not about being queer or not, not talking about sexualities or attraction) (not an official stat at all and only my point of view and experience from being on Tumblr since ~2012)

Now let's talk about Cyberpunk 2077- because this is my main fandom since 2020, and what prompted me to write this post in the first place

CDPR didn't share any stats recently, but it's REALLY SAFE to assume the MAJORITY of players are playing a straight Male V romancing Panam, followed by a lesbian Female V romancing Judy, but the player pools for both options are still majoritarly cis hetero men (and they are still the focus for AAA studios to sell their games, this is sadly just how it is)

However on the fandom side, Fem V was always the focus; virtual photography, mods, ships, OCs... She was always more popular than Male V, getting more interactions and notes and why trends like "Male V monday" were created and why there is still a lack of male V focused mods (non-binaries and trans fem folks and characters are also sadly under-represented in all type of content and art)

So, being yourself as a non-fem player, playing as a Masc V, seeing CDPR officially make the switch from Male V to Female V, when the space you've been in for the past 3 years has been overwhelmingly Female V focused on all front, was a bit of a punch in the guts; like I said earlier, I was reaaally frustrated with this too!

And I'd say it's "normal"? or at least "ok" to feel this way, it makes sense considering how little attention Male V in general get in the fans community

BUT. BUT... It's REALLY important here to realize how we sound and how we look like when we voice our frustrations on the matter; we sound and look just like all the misogynistic people over on Twitter who screams about "woke games" everytime there is a female protagonist in their "non political games". We have to remember that fandoms are suuuch a small part of the game industry

Baldur's Gate 3 recently shared their stats and this interesting tweet got into my dash

▶ tweet

Astarion is nowhere to be seen in the official most romanced companions statistic, but I'm sure a lot of people will agree that he's probably the most popular one in the fandom side!

Another stat here from Mass Effect and really interesting info coming from David Gaider about how the hardcore fanbase aka fandom's choices were WILDLY different from the casual / main player pool

▶ tweet

Getting my head out of the fandom bubbles and seeing the bigger picture, how much under-represented women still are in official medias (not talking about fan content) and how insanly misoginistic the game industry still is, both on the player and devs sides, helped me handle my own frustration on the matter, accept and even celebrate Female V being the focus for the Phantom Liberty campaign

With all that said tho, we all should be able to vent about the lack of Male, Masc and Non-Binary content in the fandom side, while still being aware of the industry state, it CAN co-exist! It doesn't make anyone a bad or misogynist person!

We are all humans and can be awkward and make mistakes, especially when voicing frustration or talking while in a negative mood. Let's educate one another in good-faithed manners when we slip instead of jumping to conclusion and throw accusations

Not gonna lie I kind of lost my train of thoughts and not sure how to finish this post, but I hope this can enlight some people on why CDPR made this choice!

Repeating this as a finale note; this doesn't mean that Female V is the "main" V or "canon" V . It's simply her time to shine, and it's well deserved! The industry needs it

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

Don’t know if this has been asked or mentioned yet for the Pack but what are their sexualities?

(Love you writing btw ❤️)

"This can be a sensitive subject for a lot of people for quite a few different reasons." You caution immediately, and everyone in the pack nods in agreement. You give a slight smile. "Most of us are very comfortable and settled into our chosen sexualities, so we're comfortable talking about and discussing it, but just know, even if you're not sure where you fall on the scale or are currently dealing with some internalized issues, you are always welcome and safe here with us.

"Yep." Chan nods seriously. "Out of the closet, in the closet, wherever you are currently, we love and support you and your choices and we understand the difficulties and stigmas with deciding and coming to to terms with who you are and how to present that."

"That being said-" You smile a bit bigger now. "I think it's pretty safe to say that we're all part of the queer community here."

"What part of this-" Hyunjin gestures to the other eight members of the pack with amusement. "-looks straight to you?"

You laugh. "So, the whole polyamory thing, that more comes from the wolf side of our genders and personalities. Wolves are not loners, they need a pack, but also, as humans and people, we needed to be okay with that too obviously for this to work."

"Yep." Jisung is nodding now. "Because your wolf side can be all gungho about the idea of a pack, but if you as a person don't believe you can love more than one person at the same time, then you're definitely going to struggle. And that's okay."

"As far as personal sexuality-" You muse, glancing around at the pack. I think we all kind of fall into the same spectrum, but with individual differences and different labels."

"I've known I was bisexual for as long as I can remember." You go on, looking thoughtful. "My parents didn't like the idea at first, but when I had my first girlfriend in high school, they came around. It's always just felt natural for me to find the beauty in both males and females."

"I'm also bi." Changbin adds, nodding his head. "Though unlike (Y/N), I think I fought more with alpha stereotypes for a long time-from myself mostly, but also other people-and that stopped me from really exploring and realizing that truth about myself until I graduated high school and moved away for college."

"And now he's just a fucking flaming queer." Hyunjin teases, grinning at the alpha, as he leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek, Changbin rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, something like that."

"I was kind of a late bloomer as well." Chan cocks his head, considering for a moment. "I didn't realize being bisexual was even an option honestly until I got to high school and met some pretty open minded classmates. I also made the realization coincidentally around the time I first met Felix."

He grins over at the omega and Felix grins back.

"Weird how that happens, huh hyung?"

"Yeah, weird." Chan agrees, grinning even bigger now.

Felix laughs at the head alpha's antics. "I'm bisexual as well. Definitely known since I was a kid, my parents were always super supportive, I was lucky that way. Helping Chan-hyung find out his sexuality in high school was also kind of fun, if you know what I mean."

Jisung guffaws and Chan blushes.

"I'm pansexual, and I think I've cognitively known for a long time." Hyunjin volunteers. "I've always never really cared much about genders-primary or secondary-and always just been attracted to people because of who they are, not what they are."

"Same." Jisung agrees, nodding enthusiastically. "Gender has never mattered to me when it came to partners. In the past or present. I remember when I was first figuring it out, I got a little freaked out, because one day in middle school, I had the thought 'wow, that's kind of hot' in reference to one of my fellow guy friends working out, and I thought I was having some sort of mental health break at thirteen. Turns out I'm just attracted to everyone-no matter the gender-who fits my checklist in personality."

He grins, and Hyunjin laughs in shared sympathy.

"I think I'm also pansexual, honestly." Jeongin interjects thoughtfully, and Jisung gives him an affectionate look across the room. "I used to think` maybe I identified as bisexual like noona and the hyungs, but the more I've grown and learned about myself, the more I can see that I'm attracted to traits and not body parts."

"And that's definitely okay." Chan nods at the youngest encouragingly. "Gender and sexuality is a fluid scale as far as I'm concerned, and you can change or adjust or tweak at any time as you find out more about yourself."

"I'm demisexual." Seungmin announces, shifting slightly to cross his arms over his chest. "You have to win my affection and loyalty by proving to me that we have an emotional connection."

"You also have to compete in a joust." Jisung teases, and the other beta smacks him lightly.

"Physical means nothing to me without the foundation there first." Seungmin continues, ignoring Jisung's jibes. "That's why I told noona 'no, but I could' when she first asked me if I liked her like I liked Changbin. The connection was being built between us, maybe more than study buddies at the time, but it wasn't quite there yet, not enough for me to feel romantic toward her."

"And I appreciated the honest. Even if I cried in the shower about it later." You tease back with a slight smile in the beta's direction.

"I am also demi." Minho shrugs a shoulder casually. "You could be the hottest person on the goddamn planet, but if I don't know you and I don't have anything built with you, I couldn't care less. Big dicks don't impress me if there's not big feelings behind them."

"Get that on a t-shirt." Hyunjin points at Minho, and Jeongin hurriedly whips out his phone and opens his notes app.

"On it, hyung. Writing this down for later reference."

[crumbsssscookie]

Would Girl!Logan ever date anyone before Oscar in your au? Like a nonracer/regular person she meets?

I think it'd be interesting just because of the inner conflict she'd feel about it. She's been so focused on revenge, on outdoing everyone's expectations that dating a regular person unconnected to racing or OG!Logan would probably send her spiraling, don't you think? Her trying to balance racing plus him plus figuring out how much she's willing to sacrifice to bring James down.

Plus Liam and Oscar would both have to deal with the fact that she's open to dating, she's just dating a non-driver.

Sorry to send so many asks today, I just really love this AU and all of the potential it has! 🩵

Noooo don't feel sorry, your asks help me get my brain going because i was about to drift into a bit of a writers block if i'm being honest. So don't apologize, you're doing the gods work!

Overall, yes I see her dating before Oscar. Dating a non-driver could go one of two ways in my head. number one is her first public longerish-term relationship would be with a woman, solely for the reason that boy Logan has only ever dated women so flirting with the now same gender comes naturally to her bc she knows how it's done and knows how this kind of attraction feels.

Number two would be a relationship with a male non-driver who she meets either at an event or through family/friends, because i feel like if she isn't part of an environment anymore where she sees herself as "one of the guys", she picks up better on men hitting on her. (That's also the second reason of why she picked up on Jenson flirting with her since he's far enough removed from her driver-generation to fall out of those bounds). It would leave her spiraling tho, bc what do you mean men are interested in her.

But when she finally found a partner, she would be infatuated with the fact that they are (in case of other celebrities, somewhat) normal and kind of a safe space, where she can wind down and leave the pressure at the door.

Both types of relationship would ultimately buckle tho under her trying to juggle the crazy of the racing circus, plotting/executing JVs downfall, spending time with friends and family and this intimate relationship on top of it all. She would be so occupied with the other things on her mind and in her life, that she would never come out of the initial honeymoon phase.

Now Liam and Oscar could at that point build some point of camaraderie because they're both heavily friendzoned by the same person.

Also on a related note; I feel eternal chaos gremlin Yuki would set Logan up with so many people, just because he knows that's how he can mess with Liam and Oscar.

[drdemonprince]

hi, hope you're having a good day! i loved your essay on not feeling safe around cis women, but when i read it to my bf, he noted (on the passage about harassment) that in the few instances he's known male acquaintances to catcall or even assault women, it has been motivated at least in part by genuinely overpowering attraction and desire. do you think this is a fair assessment? more generally, i find your stance that abuse is generated by power imbalances rather than personal failings really compelling. but when i've discussed it with others, a lot of people really resist it. for example, i recently had a debate about the concept of narcissistic abuse with a friend who argued that specific patterns of abuse are sufficient to categorise a person as a "narcissist", and that the term is useful to describe and predict the future actions of people who engage in these patterns of behaviour, regardless of their power position (though they considered it a personality trait rather than a pathology). i have my own thoughts on this, and i know you're not the only person who has made these points, but seeing as you're open to discussion on tumblr i figured i would ask if you have a particular response to this kind of thing?

i'd say ive never heard or seen any published case of a "narcissist" managing to abuse their teacher, boss, or anyone who has authority over them! The power imbalance is what makes the abuse possible. Obviously humans are capable of malicious intent. But it's very hard to abuse someone who doesnt need or rely upon you or whom you dont hold power over.

as for the catcalling thing, it's very well established that women are actually more likely to be catcalled when they are marked as more vulnerable -- either because of other visible marginalizations they have such as fatness or Blackness, or even when they look more dressed down & tired compared to when they are more confident feeling and dressed up. You dont get cat called more the hotter you are, whatever that might mean. you get cat called when a guy sees you as someone he can easily prey on. and thats also why cis women cat call me more than like beefy conventionally hot masc dudes.

[holydrakes]

Tryna list down some possible reasons for why SoMa is that one ship I have that seemed unbeatable than the rest I have:

1.) Complementary Opposites Attract dynamic: most of my ships are Opposites Attract and play the 'complementary' aspect. But SoMa takes it a step further that this is the in-universe reason for why they work as a Battle Couple. Plus both of them flip-flop their roles. So even they aren't stuck with playing just one role to the other, so their dynamic isn't as stagnant and predictable.

2.) Both are sassy to each other yet also admire each other. Their sassiness allow them to have the most entertaining exchanges (my other opposites attract ships sometime lack this sassiness so their exchanges can get boring after awhile. But not SoMa, they're so comfortable teasing each other to hell and back)

3.) They actually live together and had been shown to take care of each other domestically pretty well and are so physically comfortable with each other even without being a couple. This alone made them special among the ships I have that never got to be roommates and each other's caretakers.

4.) They're literal soulmates and literally getting soulbound on regular basis, allowing them to even share consciousness and at one point this is depicted as them sharing a slow romantic dance inside Soul's mind where they are even able to read what the other is thinking while doing so like it's no big deal.

5.) They're each other's closest people to each other what's with them being partners, roommates, and best friends at the same time. They can even read each other well and remain comfortable around each other even with their differences.

6.) They're always treated as a set even by the narrative (yet still able to remain unique and strong individuals on their own) Black Star and Kid are constantly treated to be their own characters whose partners aren't as important as them, but Soul and Maka are treated to be each other's half, like how Maka is weak without Soul and Soul is weak without Maka. Even with Maka as the ultimate protagonist, a large part of the story is still about Soul and his connection to her.

7.) Their designs are just so dope. Maka is my favorite character design ever in all of fiction (cute petite girl with a tie and miniskirt that shows off her long legs complete with sick ass combat boots, and she evokes the Grim Reaper by wearing a badass longcoat and wields a giant scythe that matches her skirt's colors) Soul's design also has so much personality and totally isn't generic as far as male characters go. Maka's cheerful green eyes paired with Soul's droopy red ones combined with their light hair made them look very appealing visually. Not to mention Maka looks angelic while Soul looks devilish on the surface, but dynamic-wise they grew so it's Soul who mostly acts as Maka's rock and Maka is the headstrong, hot-blooded one.

8.) They've been roommates and best friends since they were as young as 12 years old and had been through lot of shits together and literally share each other's pain because they even share a soul when they battle. So they became those kinda couple where one saying "I can't imagine a future without you" seemed so believable.

9.) The fact that the manga ends open-endedly so it's up to the imagination as to how they'd become an item in the future. Meaning it can happen the most perfect way as you want it to be.

10.) Maka is the more important character in the whole narrative and I'm fucking starved for more action series with girl leads whose entire story is about them. So knowing Maka is the hero of the story and Soul is the deuteragonist (whose entire character revolves around keeping Maka safe) brings a lot of comfort.

That said, SoMa does have a crack in that, they aren't exactly shown to have shared interests, passions, and hobbies unlike some of the ships I have. But the amount of stuff they had still are a lot. A whole lot.

[redheadbigshoes]

I’m having some pretty bad anxiety about being a lesbian (probably maybe) right now.

I’ve thought I was one for a minute but long story short one of my male friends I h th ought had a crush on me and who I think I was having like a comphet crush on (as in like I didn’t like him but wanted him to like me and internally felt similar to a real crush except the liking him) has said that he thinks he’s gay. Fully gay. He used to identify as bi.

And at first I was a little disappointed which I feel really bad for lol because I wasn’t even interested although I convinced myself that maybe I was and maybe I did like men a little

But then like shortly after…I felt free. He didn’t like me (odd because he really seemed to like me, like a lot). So I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

but oddly I’ve gotten anxious about it again, I think because one I really opened up about my sexuality confusion to him and a few other people and everyone thinks yeah I’m a lesbian. And I don’t want to be. I want to be normal. I want to like men.

but also and I feel really bad about this I do feel slightly anxious maybe because he doesn’t like me, which I don’t know why. maybe because I liked the validation. maybe because him liking me and me thinking maybe I like him or we’d be a good couple (when I have these “comphet crushes,” I somehow end up thinking that I’ll just end up dating them and magically like attracted to them now) he was kinda my crutch out of homosexuality, maybe I’m weird and insecure and I don’t like that he isn’t attracted to my gender, maybe because hearing him talk about his attraction to men has made me take a step back and realize I don’t think I feel like that, maybe it’s because I’m non-binary or something, I ’m really not sure.

Sometimes I wonder if I do like him but I really don’t think so. It feels almost like an instrusive thougjt when it crosses my mind.

I also don’t feel like I had this anxiety after my inital disappointment faded until around now, some hours later. I do notice that after seeing him previously like during the interaction I’d be like “yeah I don’t like him lol” but the longer and longer I hadn’t seen him, the doubt would creep in

I feel kinda like when I lost my religion rn tbh, and I’m not even certain why. The anxiety won’t go away. And I’m not sure how to deal with it or what it’s source is.

I feel bad for saying it, but I really just want to be normal. And like boys. I don’t want my life to be…just so different from how I thought it would go. I really wish I had someone I could talk to rn, like, one of my loved ones like my childhood best friend who’s like a sister to me or my parents, but I can’t.

Have you thought that maybe the reason why you feel disappointed that he realized he’s gay is that it makes you question more whether you’re attracted to men or not? And that if you’re actually not attracted to men - therefore not attracted to him - these intrusive thoughts you’ve been having (from what you said especially after he came out as gay) might be your brain only being comfortable with the idea of “liking” men when you know they’re not available/unattainable?

I truly get what you’re feeling right not, that feeling of wanting so much to be “normal” and like men, the fear of recognizing and accepting the fact that you might be a lesbian, therefore you might ruim the expectations you’ve put in yourself (as well as a lot of people around you).

This is a safe space to vent about being a lesbian. I know that someone like you (questioning your sexuality) probably needs more than anyone else somewhere to go to vent about your sexuality and to try to come to terms with it. You’re not alone ❤️

[theangryjikooker]

just read your last anon and I’m usually just a silent reader, and tbh as someone who believe Jikook are a think I disagree with you a lot, but anyways I like reading your blog you seem very down to earth and I like that and I get your frustration. it’s not the first time that I see similar messages and i know I’ll get bashed for saying this but I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. I’ve been in shipping spaces for a long time, I share this "hobby" with a friend of mine and so many "cishets" as they say use the queer umbrella as a shield because we know damn well rps mlm shipping has been thrown upon (sometimes for good reasons, and often times due to misogyny, but that’s just my opinion ). I know some ppl are gonna get mad at this and call me names, not sure why I even send this but as a "cishet" (I usually refuse to use the word cis but that’s another can of worms I won’t open here) I’m seriously done with this mindset. i’m free to make assumptions and ship whoever I want or deny any ship I want to deny like anyone else and being part of the lgbt community is not a requirement to ship, what’s with people acting like the thought police here… ha sorry I needed to vent I guess, that post made me mad

Yes, it's fine to disagree with me! A lot of people who are following me don't agree with everything I have to say, if any at all. The only reason why I know this is that I've seen some familiar names interact with bloggers I 100% would not get along with, but that's really none of my business. I'm not here to change minds.

I think those followers tend to be curious about what I have to say about some aspect of Jikook. Sometimes it'll make them think; most of the time they think I'm full of shit. I have my own critiques of hardcore shippers/supporters, so I fully expect that my existence throws a wrench in all of that and incites aggression in others. All I do is talk about how I feel. Anyone who chooses to interact with me are doing so of their own volition and are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. So this POV is a bit of a slippery slope. If we cast doubt on everyone and everything because a fraction of one's community is encouraging those feelings, it doesn't help anyone. Personally, I haven't "met" general ARMYs or shippers who have pretended to be queer, but I've read about this happening. I think the real culprit is the anonymity of the Internet and what kind of behaviors that's enabled over the years, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.

To be fair, I understand queer shippers who are tentative about shipping occurring amongst cishets, which is valid, but the way some of them go about protecting what they consider an exclusively LGBTQ+ activity can be extremist and nonsensical, in my opinion.

(Part of me also suspects that this overly passionate dedication amounts to how important fandom is to a person. I prioritize and cherish my real life more than I ever could about fandom, but fandom is also a much needed escape for others, so I can see how that might play a part in people's motivations and how they might go about protecting their safe space.)

Male, female, non-binary, gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever your sexual or gender identity–don't be an asshole and don't be an idiot, that's all I'm saying. If you're cishet and shipping two males/two females, just be mindful about how you're going about it is all. Shipping because you genuinely care about the individuals involved and believe in who they are as human beings vs. fetishizing them (unintentionally or otherwise) can get a little blurry. (Fetishization is not the only issue that occurs in this cishet vs. lgbtq+ in fandom discourse, but it's the most common and most talked about.)

In my opinion, attraction isn't so discerning; sometimes people just gravitate to whomever they like. If cishets can recognize that attraction is just a feeling that can occur among and across different genders and sexualities, I don't see how this is a bad thing at all.

__

* Sorry, I talk about "cishets" like I'm othering them, and I don't really care much for that attitude, but for distinction purposes, it is what it is.

[qnewsau]

Chela et Cetera: Dólar Rosa

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/chela-et-cetera-dolar-rosa/

Chela et Cetera: Dólar Rosa

Dólar Rosa is a weekly queer event that takes place on Thursdays in the lobby of Ace Hotel in Wentworth Avenue. We caught up with the creative force behind the event, Chela et Cetera.

In a world where gay bars often fall short in celebrating diverse identities, Dólar Rosa emerges as a vibrant alternative, embracing and amplifying queer voices and experiences.

At the heart of this electrifying event is its visionary creator, Chela et Cetera, a trailblazing queer musician known for their dynamic sound and unapologetic authenticity.

In this exclusive interview with QNews, Chela opens up about the inspiration behind Dólar Rosa, the challenges of creating an inclusive space, and the powerful impact of fostering a community where everyone can truly belong. Tell me about Dólar Rosa. What was the inspiration behind the event?

I was hoping to create a queer offering that I hadn’t seen locally yet. It feels like there’s a wide segregation between groups in this city. Being from Naarm, I could sense it quite strongly.

I thought Dólar Rosa could be an interesting social experiment. In a hotel lobby you can’t really control the crowd.

Because I knew Ace and the kinds of people it attracted, being a mostly creatively-minded or progressively-minded crowd, I felt like I could take a risk on formulating a feeling of safety for queers within a modern hotel environment. And it somehow worked!

It serves as a space where queers and all sorts of other identities can coexist in a safe and bougie environment together.

I love a dive bar as much as the next person, and exclusively queer spaces are extremely important, but I think there is something unique about Ace that has a place in the community. You can enjoy a very lavish atmosphere with queer performers, without any pressure at all to buy a drink. And I love that about the ethos of that venue. Could you speak to the importance of having diversity in the LGBTQIA+ events scene in Sydney?

It is a shame that a lot of queer establishments have changed or disappeared in the past ten or so years since the lockout laws began.

I would say as an AFAB queer, I’ve noticed that femme-identifying people are still fighting for space. It comes down to the gender pay gap. In basic terms, gays still earn a lot more than lesbians. So, the majority of bars and clubs that are catered to queer people are often more catering to a masculine audience.

I think that Dólar Rosa is offering a space where queer people and allies, especially those who don’t fall under the umbrella of being a cis, white gay male can come and enjoy a queer offering in an upmarket, mainstream establishment.

I think we still have a long way to go to change the narrative that lesbians or other queer folx who aren’t cis gay men don’t like to party as much, because that’s simply not true. They just don’t have as much opportunity.

I think that people do complain that there aren’t as many spaces for other queers to exist in, but rarely do we look to the core reasons why it is the way it is.

Unfortunately, it does come down to sexism, classism and the fact that there is just more money to be made in hosting mascs.

I think that it’s up to the older, wealthier queers to provide space for others. Anyone who can afford to provide space, I just hope that they put their money towards doing that to make Sydney interesting again because it lost a lot of its magic since the lockout laws began.

What is your own experience of going out over the years as an AFAB queer person?

I’ve lived in lots of different places, but I would say Melbourne has been the most formative and the closest to my heart.

I must mention the Grouse parties that happened in Melbourne because they were very iconic and some of the most fun party times I’ve ever had. They were run by a couple of friends, Romy Hoffman and Lia Tilson, but unfortunately, like most good things, only had their window of time. But it was very much a space where cis male gays were a minority, but everyone was welcome, and it was raucous.

I found Grouse really inspiring because it was a place where young dykes such as my sister and myself, could go and have as much of a wild time as they were having at any other gay venue such as The Peel or Sircuit.

The event is in its second year now. What have been some of the highlights of Dólar Rosa so far?

A group performance of ‘David’s Dead’ by ‘someone gay presents’ was a huge highlight this year. An ultimate highlight was when Demon Derriere performed. Basically, the room was split in two; on one side of the room my sister’s wife was having her birthday and then on the other side were a bunch of seemingly straight dudes who definitely didn’t know that it was a queer event.

Demon was being a queen and spraying whipped cream onto her ass and tits, inviting people to lick it off, which we were doing. And then as she made her way around the room to the other area, they kind of shook their heads and refused to partake. And so on the count of the beat, Demon slapped her ass, with the cream flying all over their clothes, food and drinks, which caused them to ask for a full refund.

I mildly got into trouble and wasn’t allowed food props from that moment onwards, but I think the staff thought it was funny. In a way, it was a protest, a social commentary.

I think that’s the kind of punk spirit I enjoy creating too. Not one of conflict obviously, but where all walks of life are safely exposed to each other. That’s the work!

What would you like to achieve in the near to distant future?

More punk spirit! Musically, I recently won a Creative Australia grant to support my first LP which I’m currently writing.

At the moment, I’m travelling around Southeast Asia playing shows, learning more about my Filipino heritage and having a bit of a spiritual reset from a big break-up.

I’m also using this trip as a chance to write songs and scripts. Hopefully I’ll have the record finished by the end of this year and release it next year. That’s the plan.

I also did a script writing course at AFTRS recently and have worked in film for a long time in various departments, with an aim to move into writing and directing.

I’m currently pitching a TV concept to networks which is a commentary on the way Sydney is so segregated from the East to the Inner West and beyond, and how we often meet in these strange intersections between capitalism and socialism.

It’s also a commentary on gentrification, modern queer relationships and Filipino family dynamics. So I’m hoping I get to create this show and release my LP within the next couple of years.

-Dólar Rosa is held every Thursday night from 6.30pm in the lobby of Ace Hotel Sydney in Surry Hills.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[that-disabled-radfem]

Happy back-to-school y’all

I’ve attended and worked at a couple of super liberal universities. I avoid the gender studies departments for obvious reasons and I still had a lecture in which the female prof gave a brief overview of TERFs and proclaimed her hatred of JKR. Being openly critical of gender ideology, the porn industry, kinks, and ‘sex work’ are the kind of things that can ruin your future in academia. Not to mention the fact that any speech or actions that could be labelled transphobic (ie. defining woman as adult human female) can get you a suspension according to many universities anti-hate-speech policies. 

So, here’s a list of small and smallish (small in terms of overt TERFery, some may require more effort than others) radical feminist actions you can take as a university student:

(this is a liberal arts perspective so if you’re a stem gal this may not apply. but also if you’re in stem maybe you can actually acknowledge that women are oppressed as a sex class without getting kicked out of school. idk)

(Note for TRAs hate reading this: One of the core actions of radical feminism is creating female networks. This is not so that we can brainwash people into being anti-trans. This is because female solidarity is necessary for creating class consciousness and overturning patriarchy. It is harder to subjugate the female sex when we stand together.)

Take classes with female profs. Multiple sections of a class? Pick the one taught by a woman. Have to chose an elective? Only look at electives offered by women. When classes have low numbers they get cancelled. When classes are super popular, universities are forced to consider promoting the faculty that teach them

Make relationships with these female profs. Go to office hours. Chat after class. Ask them about their research. Building female networks is sooooo important!

Actually fill in your end of year course feedback forms. Profs often need these when applying for tenure or applying for a job at another university so it is very important (especially with young and/or new profs) that you fill out these forms and give specific examples of how great these women are. Go off about what you love about them! Give her a brilliant review because you know the idiot boy in that class who won’t shut up even though he knows nothing is going to give her only negative feedback because he thinks any woman who leaves the house is a feminazi b*tch. 

(note: obviously don’t go praising any prof - female or male - who is blatantly racist, homophobic, etc.)

(Also if you have shitty male profs write down all the horrible things they have done and said and put it in these forms because once a shitty man gets tenure they are virtually untouchable)

(also also, leave a good review on rate my profs or whatever other thing students use to figure out if they want to take classes. idc if you copy paste your feedback from the formal review. rave about the class to your friends. do what you can to get good enrolment for that prof for reasons above.)

Participate in class. Talk over the male students. Say what you mean and mean it. Call out the boys when they say dumb shit

Write about women. If you have the option to make a text written by a woman your primary text in an essay, do it. Pick the female-centred option if you’re writing an exam-essay with multiple prompts. (Profs often look at what works on their syllabus are being written about/engaged with as a marker of whether to keep those texts the next time they teach the class. If there are badass women on your syllabus, write about them to keep them on the syllabus) Use female-written secondary sources whenever possible. 

(pro tip: many women in academia are more than happy to talk to you about their papers. expand your female networks by reaching out to article authors through email and asking them about their cool shit)

Get your essays published! Many departments have undergrad journals you can publish in. This will ensure more people read about the women you write about and will demonstrate to the department that people like learning about women

Consider trying to publish your undergrad essay with a legit peer-reviewed journal. If you can do it, your use of female-written secondary sources boosts the reputations of the women who wrote those secondary sources. Also this helps generally to increase scholarship about women’s writing!

Present your papers at conferences! Many schools have their own undergraduate/departmental conferences that you can present at. Push yourself by submitting to outside conferences. Bring attention to women’s works by presenting your papers. Take a space at a conference that would otherwise be reserved for mediocre men

Talk to your profs and/or your department and/or your university about mandating the inclusion of female works in classes if this isn’t something they do already

Sit next to other women in your classes. Talk to them. Make friends. Form study groups. Proofread each other’s essays. Give each other knowing looks when the boys are being dumb. Just interact with other women! Build those female networks!

Be generous with your compliments. A female classmate and I were talking to a prof after class and the classmate told me (out of the blue) that I always have such interesting things to say. I think about that whenever I’m lacking confidence about my academic skills. Compliment the women in your classes for speaking up, for sharing their opinions, for challenging your classmates/profs, for doing cool presentations, etc.

Talk to other women about sexist things going on on campus. Make everyone aware of the sexist profs. Complain about how there are many more tenured men than tenured women. Go on rate my professor and be explicit about how the sexist profs are sexist

Be active on campus and in societies. If a society has an all male executive or is male-dominated, any women who join that society make it less intimidating for more women to join. Run for executive positions! Bring in more women! 

(Pro tip: Many societies’ elections are super gameable. You can be eligible to vote in a society election sometimes just by being a student at that university — even without having done anything with the society before. Other societies might just require that you’ve taken a class in a particular department or attended a society event. (Check the society’s governing documents.) Use those female networks you’ve been building. If you can bring three or four random people to vote for you, that might be enough for you to win. Societies have trouble meeting quorum (the minimum number of people in attendance to do votes) so it is really super achievable to rig an election with a few friends. And don’t feel bad about this. The system is rigged against women so you have every right to exploit loopholes!)

(Also feel free to go vote “non-confidence”/“re-open election” if only shitty men are running. Too often people see that only candidates they don’t like are running and so they give up. But you can actually stop them getting elected)

Your campus may have a LGBTQIA+alphabetsoup society. That society definitely needs more L and B women representation. It may be tedious to argue with the nb straight dudes who insist that it’s fine to use “q***r” in the society’s posters and that attraction has nothing to do with genitals, but just imagine what could happen if we could make these sorts of societies actually safe spaces for same-sex attracted women and advocated for our concerns

Attend random societies’ election meetings. Get women elected and peace out. (or actually get involved but I’m trying to emphasize the lowest commitment option with this one)

Write for the campus newspaper. Write about what women are doing - women’s sports, cool society activities, whatever. Review female movies, books, tv shows, local theatre productions. Write about sexism on campus. We need more female by-lines and more stories about women

Get involved with your campus’s sexual assault & r*pe hotline/sexual assault survivor’s centre/whatever similar organization your campus has if you can. This is hard work and definitely not for everyone (pls take care of yourself first, especially if you are a survivor)

(If your campus doesn’t have an organization for supporting survivor’s of sexualized violence, start one! This is probably going to be a lot of hard work though, so don’t do it alone)

Talk to your student council about providing free menstrual hygiene products on campus if your campus doesn’t already do this. If your campus provides free condoms (which they probs do), use that as leverage (ie. ‘sex is optional, menstruation is not. so why do we have free condoms and no free pads?’)

If you’re an older student, get involved with younger students (orientation week and such activities are good for this). Show the freshman that you can be a successful and well-liked woman without shaving your legs, wearing heels, wearing make-up, etc. Mentor these young women. Offer to go for coffee or proofread essays. 

Come to class looking like a human being. Be visibly make-up less, unshaven, unfeminine, etc. to show off the many different ways of being a woman

Talk to the custodial staff and learn their names. (I know there are men who work in this profession, but it is dominated by low-income women) Say hi in the hallways, ask them about their lives, show them they’re appreciated

Be explicit with your language. When you are talking about sex-based oppression, say it. Don’t say ‘sex worker’ when you mean survivor of human trafficking. This tip is obviously a bit tricky in terms of overt TERFyness, so use your best judgement

That’s all from me for now! Feel free to add your suggestions and remember that feminism is about action