#but not really cause he's like 7ft

[starlingchilde]

My DM joked that I should make a Catboy so I present to everyone: My first DnD Barbarian :)

[moeblob]

Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."

[fatedroses]

Zenos, but he uses his grandfather's name and imagery for his new armor so he can actually feel like a hero.

[norikuna]

r/AsksReddit | Help! I think I accidentally summoned the King of Curses ! ⌦ part one of ?

💬 hi reddit, i know this sounds fake but i swear on my life it's true. i was just messing around with this prank book my friends got me last christmas and it had some 'ancient' summoning spells in it. i didn't even think it would work but there's a 7ft demon looking guy sitting on my couch and i don't know how to get rid of him.

Sorry, this post has been removed by moderators of r/AsksReddit. MOD: Please ask real and serious questions, thank you.

💬 update! the mods removed my post but i'm genuinely telling the truth here. anyway, it turns out that by summoning him, i think i bound us together for eternity. sukuna (that's his name) isn't that bad and he's kinda like a big, lazy cat.

u/9to5exorcist : Ryomen Sukuna? Are you quite sure? u/tenshadowsanimalcrossing : You're joking, no way u summoned sukuna lmfao. u/you : not joking! i took him grocery shopping today! u/SixEyesSensei : dm me asap!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inspired by @kasukuna and the most amazing dumbass boyfriend!sukuna fics 🤎

absolutely refuses to use your furniture properly. sukuna insults your apartment for at least 2 whole days and calls it a sad, little domain. he has no idea what paying rent is like in this economy. lounges across the couch with all four arms spread, sits on the kitchen counters, and insists on rearranging your entire living room spread so he can move around it easier.

now you're constantly sleep deprived by having this deadbeat, massive behemoth of an awful flatmate. sukuna keeps telling you that he's a medieval sorcerer, someone who flattened entire clans and mountains but it's hard to take him seriously when he keeps hitting his head on your low ceilings. he's always so loud around the apartment, complaining about how boring it is for him to be stuck and bound to you forever. if you're a university student or just someone who's employed, he thinks he's being helpful by offering to curse your professors/employees.

you have to beg him to get some real clothes. you're slowly getting used to the anatomically strange sight of a 7ft man with four arms, but you know that others are going to call the police. he's usually wondering around your apartment and loitering in his loose, wide pants. nothing else, not even a shirt. occasionally sukuna will drape a cloak around his torso but you have to basically wrestle a baggy shirt over his head. and he bites you, at least thrice.

refuses to help clean, and claims he's very much above menial labour. one day, you threaten to leave sukuna hungry if he doesn't contribute for at least five minutes. he begrudgingly starts picking up after himself, but not before bestowing you with the ugliest death threats of all time.

sukuna is the very definition of a lazy freeloader. well, you told him to be useful and get a job, but then the idea of him causing more problems and insurance paperwork later made you break out in a cold sweat. so he usually spends his hours just loitering around your apartment, and draining your resources. never puts dishes in the sink and still doesn't grasp the concept of a fridge so he's always leaving the door open.

but he is very curious about modern day life. seems like the world has really moved ahead in the one thousand years that sukuna hasn't walked the earth. asks a million questions about wifi, the internet, a phone, streaming services and so on. he will be the last to admit it but he loves trashy reality television, and he enjoys watching 'pathetic humans squabbling over pathetic things'. has an ugly, evil-ass laugh that wakes up your neighbours at 3am.

after weeks of being cooped up in your apartment, he starts complaining. loudly. stomping around and getting even nastier, to the point where you have to give in. he tells you that he is no house pet, and if you don't let him outside, he will go anyway and have his own fun. god help you, sukuna's idea of fun in the big city will involve blood and destruction so you relent and prep him with a million rules that he ignores.

has a beef with a bunch of birds that sit outside your apartment every morning. definitely the type of weirdo that glares back at birds and throws rocks at them. backfired, because the entire swarm started flocking around him. but you did promise him that you'd let him go outside, so you decide to start with somewhere easy. grocery shopping.

already impressed with the idea of grocery shopping and parking lots. has no clue why humans would cram their 'carriages' in one place, and has no concept of traffic laws. you try patiently explaining that these cars weigh tonnes of metal and they can really injure a person. sukuna's pretty confident that no car could ever even scratch him. cue the big delivery truck that almost runs him down.

completely fascinated by sliding doors. it's already embarrassing enough being outside with a loud, rude tank with pink hair and tattoos. but now he's holding up gruntled customers trying to figure out what enchantment allows glass to move so smoothly on its own. keeps stepping back and forth in front of them to watch them open and close. almost breaks them with the strength of just one cracked fingers before you plead with him to keep moving.

sukuna encounters an escalator for the first time and refuses to step on it, and vows to bash in the head of the little kid who gave him a big side eye. after five minutes of arguing, he finally steps onto the moving belt and almost tilts off-balance, but he's got a tattooed hand practically gripping the side for dear life.

literally the biggest hater when he's inside properly. makes snarky remarks about how this flashy bazaar can't possibly be for real merchants who respect the trade. you try to show him the different types of stores, but he's more interested in people watching. loud people-watching. you almost go home when sukuna asks another man why he's swallowing wet balls. hint: it was an innocent guy having bubble tea.

entirely interested in new fruits and vegetables that he's never seen before. but he'll pretend he doesn't give a flying fuck. has taken a deep liking to tomatoes, and comments that these delicious, tasty red globes were not around during his era. sukuna thinks colourful cereal boxes are the worst things to ever happen to mankind, and you fear that you gave him too much internet access when he sneers at you for picking up a box of froot loops - suddenly muttering things about artificial and fake foods with fake flavours.

baffled by the concept of frozen food, and wonders what sort of jujutsu keeps the meat cold and fresh? practically wide-eyed when he reaches the butcher's stand until you tell him that 'no, sukuna. you can't buy steak and eat it raw here. we have to get home and cook it.' he's just happy to see the deli. he opens the freezer and fridge doors for too long and lets all the cold out.

he has no concept of modern money or a credit card. insists that there is no need to trade for these goods, and he can just take what he wants. you believe him but you're trying to avoid the mall police, but he just stands behind with his arms crossed, while you sigh and take out your credit card to pay at the self checkout.

sukuna refuses to sit still at the food court, and towers over the poor workers. demands to know how the food is made, "is it poisoned? who are your chefs?" the poor teenager working the kebab store has to call the manager to get this fiend of a man to back off. he's able to polish off a doner kebab in two, nasty bites. refuses to carry any of your shopping bags and claims that he's not a mule. you remind him that he put in five tubs of ice creams and two watermelons, and he begrudgingly slings the lightest bag over his shoulder and leaves you to haul the rest up.

but who knew the key to keeping your local king of curses happy was to just simply take him out for a walk? sukuna seems more energised (while you feel like death warmed over) and he's already tearing open a bag of your favourite crisps, insisting that next time he will be able to conquer this 'shopping centre' properly and rule it with ease.

[dearstvckyx]

No one would hear you scream (prank) - nhl boys

Cole

You both are taking a stroll in the woods behind your house along with your dogs.

“Peaceful back here isn’t it?” you asked Cole.

“Yea I love it,” he said. “Me to Cole.” you responded. “Nice.” “It is nice”

“Nobody would hear you scream…” you blurted out, remembering the trend on tiktok.

Cole instantly stopped turning to look at you, “What?” he questioned if he had heard you right “I said it’s such a dream.” you tried covering it but he was having none of it responding with, “Alright let’s go back.”

Jamie

You and Jamie are taking a peaceful walk through a secluded park. As you both admire the tranquil surroundings, you casually mention,

“Wow it’s so beautiful out here.” Jamie had said.

"Yeah. It's really peaceful... no one would hear you scream."

Jamie turns to you, with a startled “Huh?”.

You quickly try to cover it up by saying, "I said, it looks like a dream!" “Oh.”

But Jamie's not buying it, and he suggests heading back, his eyes darting around nervously. “No actually we should go back” he blurted out causing you to start laughing.

Jack

Your both standing around after doing a run, looking around Jack says,

“It’s so nice here.”

“Right?” you asked, “isn’t it so peaceful?”

“Yeah it’s so nice.” He said once more

“No one will hear you scream.” You said normally slowly looking to Jack, who stands right next to confused. “Huh? What the fck did you say?” “I said it’s like a dream.”

“We should- um… We should head back.” Jack suggested. “Why?” “I heard you.”

You both stared at each other before you stared chasing him and the video cuts off with Jack playfully yelling “Help!”

Luke (this wasn’t based off a tt video)

Sitting around the arena back area, you noticed how dim it is.

"no one would hear you scream," you said softly, taking an advantage of Luke’s slight hearing loss, a playful smirk dancing on your lips.

His head snapped up, looking straight ahead for a second before looking at your face, “what the fuck did you just say?” he asked, wondering if you had said what he thought you said.

“I said, Its so dim. What did you think I said?” you said, the same smirk on your face. Luke glanced down at your smirk before standing up and slowly backing away from you. Meanwhile you and Jack, who had been recording for your social media, were dying laughing at Lukes reaction.

Matt

Walking with Matt was always… eventful to say the least, Matt making it a mission to get you to turn back home to have fun couple activities.

“Ya know Matty… no one would hear you scream.” you said looking back at the nearly 7ft hockey player. He tilts his head at you pondering what just came out of your mouth.

“What did you say? No one would hear me scream?” he asked bewildered because you had never been the one to make a sexual joke, well thats what he’s taking that comment as. “No, I said i’m only living the dream.”

With no one on the path your walking on, Matt gets up close to you, wrapping his hand around your neck and tilting your head up to look at him, “I think you mean no one would hear YOU scream” his comment causing the blush before pushing him away and running giggling with him chasing you.

Mitch

Walking with Mitch and Zeus is always relaxing, so why not make it tense.

Walking behind Mitch and Zeus you called out to your fiancé, “I love being in nature babe, it’s so calm out here.” Mitch turned around to look at you whilst walking backwards “I know baby, it’s so refreshing out here.”

“Yeah. And nobody would hear you scream.” you had joked causing Mitch to stop, almost getting pulled backwards by Zeus who is questioning why is dad had stopped. “What did you just say?” He questioned.

“the the life we live is such a dream.” “Baby…” Mitch took a pause, “No you did not say that. I know… I know what came out of your mouth okay?” “Babe, I swear I said the life we live is such a dream”

Mitch looked around like he was going crazy, “Baby, no you did not. You said something else”

Mitch ends up picking up Zeus and starts running away from you.

Nico

Nico, You and your 11 month old daughter are walking together in Switzerland, currently you three are resting on a bridge that overlooks the water.

“It’s so peaceful and quiet here.” you said to him.

“Yeah, it is. I love this place” “No would hear you scream.” you commented.

Nico stares at you confused, meanwhile you’re staring at him smiling softly. “What?”

“It’s…” you struggled to find something, “It’s so serene here.”

He starts running off with the stroller whilst your dying laughing, at least you know he always has your daughter.

Quinn

Quinn and you were lounging around on his boat on the lake.

“Wow it’s so pretty out here” you commented to your boyfriend of 5 years.

“I know right babe. It’s so blue.”

You covered your mouth so what you say next will sound mumbled, “I feel like no one would hear you scream.”

Quinn’s eyes widened, snapping his head towards you, “WHAT?!” “What?” you asked back calmly.

“What did you say?” “I said I forgot sunscreen.” you replied hoping he believes it.

“No No NO! That is NOT what you sai-“ you cut him off by driving the boat causing Quinn to scream.

Trevor

Trevor and you are up in the attic of your new home.

“Wow Babe. It’s so dark and quiet up here.” you commented.

“Yeah, it’s also super hot.” He said annoyed but also jokingly.

You smile and sigh happily, “It’s perfect, now no one will hear you scream.”

Trevor turned around so fast look at you stand by the ladder as if you’re blocking him from going down. “WhAt?” “What?” “What did you say?”

“Oh, I said I forgot to clean, i’ll be right back. Just stay right there.” you said to him, and started walking down the stairs and he immediately jumps down almost hurting himself.

[fizzy-blood]

hiiiihaihihi, hope ur doing well fizz ! could i request jeff, toby, and ej w a s/o that has one of those tiny aggressive dogs that do nothing but YAP and growl prettiipls

JtK, Ticci Toby & EJ with a S/O who owns a yapper dog🗣️💥🐾

I've been procrastinating on this idk why-

Thank you so much for the ask, anon! I actually had a neighbor with a chuwawa(?) (I dunno how to spell that) so this was a very funny concept.

Jeff the Killer

His has the same energy as the dog-

Short tempered and will probably bite you

Also I'm convinced half of those dogs that exist in the world have some sort of superiority problem

So does he btw

And before you ask, no, he does not get along with your dog 😭

Well... At first

You know that meme that goes "Dad:we aren't getting a dog. Family:Gets a dog. Dad and the dog:" and it's just them vibing?

That's Jeff and the dog

I also think he'd give off the vibe of the one vine that screams "I LOVE YOU DOG"

It just feels fitting

In my AU Jeff doesn't own Smile Dog or anything but does kinda take care of him (Smile doesn't need it and doesn't really care) so I think Jeff would try to do the same with your dog

Overall 5/10 experience

Ticci Toby

He doesn't react to anything your dog dose

Like...

It could bite him and he just... Ignores it?

He can't really feel pain so that kinda makes sense but...

I dunno, he just doesn't really care?

No rating cause I have nothing to rate

Eyeless Jack

Oh no... That's not a good mix

Jack doesn't like loud sounds and can't handle how much your dog barks and yaps

Hates it

Won't really tell you but you can see him glare at that fucking creature everytime he sees it

They do not get along

The dog started yapping when he broke in entered you house in a loving and legal way

Woke you up and scared him so bad-

Imagine being an almost 7ft tall demon man and getting spooked by a dog that's not even taller than your shin 😭

2/10 experience, would not recommend

I ACTUALLY DID IT!! I FINISHED!! YIPPE I'M SO JOYOUS!! Sorry for taking so long w this one-

Btw I'm opening my ask box again so feel free to send in an ask or request. And don't forget to reblog because likes don't do shit on tumblr...

Hope you enjoyed!! -Fizz

(Paw print dividers created by @sister-lucifer I'm sorry for forgetting pookie 😔)

[hmperil]

! haikyuu reactions to a guy hitting on you !

includes : sakusa , ushijima , bokuto , kageyama , tsukishima , asumu

(a/n hello everyone ! im trying out these new mini scenarios where I do a lot of characters but less writing , please tell me if you enjoy them and want more , hope yo have a lovely day <;3)

ushijima : damn I feel bad for whatever man decided it would be a good idea to hit on ushijima 's (s/o) cause that man is scary asf. probably wouldn't engage in violence unless it was for defence and would just stare them down while he pulled you closer to him , protecting you.

bokuto : I feel like he would use violence only if they just kept on going or tried to touch you , if not he would put his arm around you and tell the dude to just piss off . if I was the guy I would be running though cause even though he isn't always serious he could definitely crush him.

sakusa : would go no where near the guy in fear of germs but if the guy touched you in any way he would be ready to throw hands cause aint nobody touching his (s/o) with their dirty hands .

kageyama : I dot know why but I feel like he would be very hesitant to start any violence and would probably grab your hand and run if the dude started to get violent in anyway. but he also seems like the type to get quite reckless especially if the guy got too close to you. it really depends on the situation.

tsukishima : ask him to kindly piss off or fight him verbally cause you just know tsukki could make a fully grow man sob if he wanted to . I don't see him getting violent physically but I mean if it happen it happens because he definitely wouldn't let you get hurt and would protect you to the end of the world .

asumu : no he would so get physical just cause a guy hit on you . that's just the type of guy he is no question . you end up having to drag him out situations so he doesn't get seriously hurt by picking a fight with some super buff 7ft guy .

[freyito]

Could you make General Shao's sfw alphabet, please?

tbh as much as i love kenshi & kuai liang, shao is like my favorite outworlder. never thought that would happen lmfao. sorry for the long response time, like i said ive got a packed schedule and now that im moving my free time is minimal T_T

cw: gn reader, just fluff, soft shao cause i said so, proofread

ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ꜱʜᴀᴏ || ꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Shao is affectionate behind closed doors. With his status, he has a certain image to maintain, so he doesn't even look your way when on the job. However, when you two have a private moment, he's attached to you. Not once does his hand leave yours, he has to be touching you somehow. Whether by having a hand on your shoulder, hugging you and completely towering over you, anything. Despite his rough n tough demeanor, you are the only one who can really get to see this softer side of him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

It depends on where and how you meet him. At the banquet, he comes off rather standoffish and rude. However, if you ran into him by chance, he's rather friendly. He has a bit of an edge to him, of course. As general, he has to be on high alert, so he can't afford to be too friendly.

As a friend, a best friend specifically, he's rather protective. But only in the same width that he'd be protective of the palace's consultants. You are important to him, and in his line of work, friends are few and far between. Yet, his loyalties still lie to protecting Sindel and her daughters.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Shao loves to cuddle. Anytime he has alone with you, he's dragging you to the bed and wrapping himself around you. Really, any way he's comfortable, he'll hold you. However, he loves it when you rest your head on his chest when you two fall asleep. Having you close to his heart is something that means the world to him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

As impressive as the range of achievements under his belt are, he really wants to settle one day. Enjoy the pleasures of the mundane, live a peaceful life with you. He's amazing at cleaning, but he sucks at cooking. So, if you two can divide the work once he achieves his peaceful life, he's more than happy.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He's formal about it. Too formal. He wants to let his soon to-be ex partner down softly, and he's polite about it. When he dates, he's in it for the long term, so if he ahs to break up with someone, it is simply because of his line of work and his title.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said, Shao dates for the long term. He doesn't exactly think about marriage right away, but if he's been with his partner for a year at least, he puts it into consideration, He'd love nothing more than to settle down, really. But his title gets in the way of that. So it is something he has to think about for another year after he considers it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's big, he's bad, he's mean, but you are his moon and he is going to treat you as such. Doesn't matter if he towers over you, he's the sweetest man in your hands. He's almost afraid to touch you, really. He's hyper aware of his strength and he's afraid of even so much as squeezing you. He isn't afraid to tell you just how much he loves you, though. He's equally as gentle with his words as he is with his touch.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Shao loves hugs. To come home and hold you close, it's one of the greatest joys in his life. His hugs are firm, and given the fact that he's over 7ft, he'll always tower over you. But he loves leaning down into you, he'll simply stay at the door like that for minutes before finally getting along with the end of his day.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He's cautious about it. Really cautious. With his life, anything he truly loves can and will get taken away within mere seconds. He's afraid of even thinking it. It takes him a while to say it, even if he knows he does love you. It'll be about 9 months in that you first hear it, but it is rather sparse after that. He does love you, but as mentioned before, he's afraid you will get taken from him.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Shao's good at hiding his emotions. But he fails horribly with jealousy. He thinks he's able to keep his composure, that no one can tell he's seething when a very bold royal guest attempts flirting with you. In reality, he even throws Reiko off with his jealousy. Regardless, he can't step in. He knows you have your boundaries, and you shoot down the guest right away. But that night, when you two have some time to yourself, he's rather possessive and clingy. He refuses to let you go, even for a second. Just to remind him how grateful he is to have you. And the fact that you are his, and only his.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are nothing short of passionate. He refuses to give you any less, he has to make sure you can tell just how much he loves you. He prefers simply kissing your lips, however he'll also find himself kissing the corners of your mouth from time to time. He'll lean down to you and pull you in close, keeping his hands on your waist.

Shao loves to be kissed on the forehead. He loves it when you ask him to lean down so you can plant a soft kiss on his forehead or temples. He can't tell you exactly why, but he finds the gesture comforting.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

In public, he'll act as if he's annoyed by the children running around, or just outright ignore them. But, if he's absolutely positively sure that no ones around, he'll sit down and play with them, let them climb all over him, or even see if he can find a story (that doesn't involve his countless accomplishments) to read to them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Normally, he's up and about and out of bed before you wake up. He doesn't get much time to see you in the morning because of his title, but he does enjoy seeing you before he leaves. Standing at the door, leaning down to give you a quick kiss before leaving to attend to his duties.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He'll show you around the city before bed,- if you're up for it- and once you two are home, he's carrying you everywhere. Don't think you can get out of it, he refuses to let you walk. He'll hold you close and stay rather still over the night, but he does sleep light.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It will take Shao quite some time to finally let his guard down and start opening up. He opens up slowly, after about 7 months. And he still withholds some information from you, for your safety, he says.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

When he's drunk, he's got a temper. However, sober, he's a lot more calm. Not a lot angers him, aside from maybe getting his ego challenged. But he has to be calm, as said many times before, his status requires it.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Shao commits every little thing to memory. Every. Little. Thing. He freaks out if you wake up even a second later than you normally do, or if suddenly your hands are cold. He knows your favorite flowers, and just exactly which arrangement you loved, your favorite meals, the list goes on and on and on.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Your first kiss. As cliche as it is, Shao looks back on it fondly. Finding a quiet area away from the city, the palace. Bathed in the soft glow of Sun Do, he leaned down to kiss you ever so gently. It was the first time he showed proper vulnerability around you, and he cherishes it.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

You're asking me if GENERAL Shao is protective? He is. Beyond so. Any sort of bruise, he'll ask you who did it. He keeps an eye on you, whenever he can. He does not care if you are more than capable of defending yourself, he has to make sure you are safe.

Shao hates the idea of you protecting him, or anyone else protecting him. His ego's a little fragile like that. He knows he can keep himself safe, in fact, he has a tendency to welcome danger.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He makes sure everything he does is done out of love. Every gift end up over-the-top, every date seems almost too luxurious. He has to show his love in every single way, and he cherishes you too much to give you anything less than his best.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

You know that intro with him vs Johnny? Where Johnny says he thought Bi-Han needed a breath mint? Sorry to say, but he definitely forgets to brush a couple times a week. He won't kiss you if he knows this, and he swears he tries his best. But he's got a busy schedule.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Shao could care less. There's no need for him to worry about his looks, he thinks he looks fine as he is.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He misses you every single waking minute he is away from you. He worries over you, constantly. And if you were to leave him, he wouldn't really find a place in his mind for peace.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Shao loves dancing. He loves those small moments where he can place his hands on your waist and dance around the house. He's surprisingly good at it, and he takes the lead, every time.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He cannot stand a helpless partner. Yes, he wants to protect you, but if you have no will to fight for yourself, he cannot see a future with you. He wants to know that you can fight for yourself, and that you can keep yourself alive- on the battlefield, at home, anywhere- without his guidance. He'd actually probably make you deadlift his hammer, as well. Make sure you are more than strong.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Shao sleeps lightly. Any small sound can wake him up. He's on high alert at all times, and the smallest noise that he isn't used to has him up immediately. He'll go though the house, and leave no possibility unturned. He'll look under the goddamned pillows, in every closet, the cupboards, until he is absolutely positive no one broke in. Then he'll return to bed and fall back asleep near immediately.

© freyito, 2023 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[sholangagaga]

Wait I thought that everyone knew in canon that Bonnie was decommissioned?

This is gonna be a long answer so I'll put it under the cut. Very slight spoilers to an easter egg in Ruin

Apparently there's some confusion about this in the fandom but to reiterate to everyone who doesn't know; No one knows that Bonnie was shattered and is still within the Pizzaplex

No one.

Not the technicians, not Fazbear Entertainment, not the other animatronics.

To everyone in canon, Bonnie just up and disappeared one day under mysterious circumstances.

But Lonnie! you ask, your eyes innocent and wide. That doesn't make any sense! How could a giant 7ft robot disappear???

Well, according to what we learn in Ruin, he didn't actually disappear. We as the audience know where he is and know what happened to him. Everyone else? They have NO clue.

Your first key in to this is when Gregory first sees Vanny and tries to inform Freddy. To which Freddy responds with There are no rabbits at the Mega Pizzaplex. Not anymore.

We've already seen the animatronics go through hell and back and still be functioning. We've also see how FazEnt is REALLY unwilling to change or fully decommission animatronics because of how much it'll cost unless something impossible to cover up happens (Ie. the Missing Children Incident, The Bite of 83 and The Bite of 87)

As far as we knew, Bonnie hadn't done anything that drastic. None of the Glamrocks have, so what on earth could warrant him not only being fully decommissioned, but also completely wiped from the face of the Pizzaplex?

We get the answer to this question in bits and pieces throughout SB in the form of the dufflebag notices. There are two (three if you're annoying like me) very interesting ones that allude to Bonnie's fate.

Re-Theme, MISSING, and Monty Mischief

What do all of these have in common?

Well, they tell a story, albeit a very patchy one, but a story nonetheless.

Now, its important to note here that while Bonnie was still active (either as a band member or after his retirement) Monty Golf was very much an established attraction. This means that Monty wasn't made or pushed into the Pizzaplex to replace Bonnie outright. He was just another animatronic who spent his time in his own little place and did his own thing.

In Monty Mischief, we learn about how we're to stop Monty.

ERRANT BEHAVIOR REPORT - Monty didn't show up for the main stage performance again. We found him in the same place we always do, the catwalks over Monty Golf. We can't have a repeat of last month. Someone hit the hole in one and the hurricane bucket knocked him down. Both legs were broken and required emergency parts and service work.

Monty heads onto the catwalk every now and then, which is dangerous for him because the catwalks are prefaced by the blasters and Hurricane bucket. So, Monty is in danger of getting whacked off the catwalk and getting damaged.

In MISSING, we get our first clue into what happened to Bonnie on his final night active

SECURITY REPORT - 12:24AM - Bonnie is seen leaving his green room in Rockstar Row heading East towards the atrium. 2:40AM - Bonnie enters the East Arcade. 4:12AM - Bonnie enters Monty Golf.

Now this notice doesn't explain much. But once you look deeper into it, you start to find some odd tidbits within the notice that doesn't make much sense.

At nearly 12:30am, Bonnie left his green room and headed East towards the Atrium (which is the big squarish space in the center of the Pizzaplex) To explain it better cause the map is a big nondescriptive, the Atrium is that huge area with the main stage and all of the tables that leads to each attraction

Bonnie went EAST (or right) from Rockstar Row (which is the area right above the Atrium, where all of the animatronics themed rooms are) So assuming he was standing in his green room and he walked out, he would have walked down the rightmost path, where Roxy Raceway and Bonnie Bowl are located. (On the map, that would be the lefthand side. I know, that's confusing directions wise, but it would have been HIS right being the MAP'S left)

He went towards and entered the East Arcade (which would be Fazcade according to the map. The West Arcade is the Super Starcade)

Now, Bonnie left his room at 12:24 and got to the Fazcade at 2:40. That's almost 2 hours and 16 minutes of movement time.

Now we as the audience know that it doesn't take 2 and a half hours to clear a straight walking path. Gregory (and even Freddy) can clear that distance in less that 30 in game minutes. So what took Bonnie so long?

Normally I would say that maybe he was being stopped by kids or something, but this was well after closing. There shouldn't have been any kids or autograph opportunities, and unless Bonnie was walking at a snail's pace or in slow motion, it shouldn't have taken him so long to get to the Fazcade.

The next time stamp is even weirder. At 4:12am, Bonnie entered the Monty Golf (Directly across from Roxy Raceway on the righthand side of the map while below it is the Daycare)

It took Bonnie an extra 1 hour and 32 minutes to round the rest of the Pizzaplex (assuming he didn't stop and do something in the Fazcade) and end in the Monty Golf. And then from there, the name of the transmission is "missing" and there are no further time stamps, implying that Bonnie never left Monty Golf after that point and there are no further reads on his location.

So, he spent 3 hours and 48 minutes going to two specific points on the map only to vanish without a trace.

The next notice, Re-Theme, we get a bit of the aftermath of Bonnie's disappearance.

MANAGEMENT REPORT - The bowling alley needs a re-theme. While most of the Bonnie art was removed, kids keep asking, 'Where's Bonnie?' Do we have an officially approved response?

This is a notice from management themselves. Apparently, even though Bonnie hasn't been active for a while at this point, there still isn't a company approved response for WHERE he is. Not what happened to him, WHERE he could be. This means that after Bonnie entered Monty Golf according to the timestamp and never left, they must've searched the area and ended up being unable to find him, which led to them quickly changing gears and throwing Monty forward to take over. (Which is another discussion all together, I personally don't believe Monty hurt Bonnie, despite what the game wants you to believe)

In Ruin, we see what became of Bonnie and where he actually was after all of this time.

In the rundown Bonnie Bowl at the end of the alley, there's a sign that fell to block off the pin mechanisms against the alley wall. Deactivating all of the patpats (Wet Floor Signs) in the Ruin campaign will cause the sign to be removed, leading to a little rabbit (haha) hole. Going through the hole leads to a storage/recycling area for the bowling balls (I'm not bowling alley literate, its that machine that catches the balls and sends them back to the sleeve thing near the seating/scoring area so you can get your ball back)

And, laying there amidst the ruined machinery and surrounded by four patpats, is Glamrock Bonnie

He's apparently been there for a while, but he looks relatively untouched from the decay and ruination of the other animatronics (probably because he wasn't moving around and instead was completely stationary) ((some people mention how he seems to be missing his endoskeleton/major machinery but this post isn't about what happened to him/how he was shattered, this is just about his disappearance and subsequent location))

The fact that Bonnie has just been laying here, untouched, his only company being a few bear-eared patpats, means that NO ONE knew he was back here. If the technicians or FazEnt knew he was back here, they would have repaired him. And we KNOW that they could repair him from any state of disarray or damage because we've seen and heard of this happening before (Monty with his broken legs, Vanessa mentioning to Freddy how they can "slap his shell onto another endo" if he keeps misbehaving)

And even if Bonnie couldn't be repaired enough to take the main stage again, they could at least repair his shell or make him a permanent fixture at the Bonnie Bowl and complete retire him without leaving him in the back of a bowling alley to rot away.

Now how he got back there, I've got a few theories but again, that's another post for another day. But it's a bit sad to learn that Bonnie never really disappeared. He'd been injured in some way and went back to his home to basically die, and no one knows what happened to him. Not even Freddy, who loved and misses him so much, who probably would have been so happy to learn that Bonnie was right there the whole time and all they needed to do was repair him

But he doesn't know.

No one knows.

And since that scene is an easter egg and not an actually scripted story event, there's a very good chance that no one will ever know Bonnie's final resting place.

And that's so very sad

[a-libra-writes]

Ello! may I please request some of the Lackadaisy characters reacting to a ridiculously tall male reader joining their crew?- like hit their head on every doorframe tall?/jk- but in all seriousness, maybe like 8ft or something?

okay im going for like 7ft or so because that SLIGHTLY more reasonable but not by much; idgaf tho this is funny. Also if you will please imagine this as a lanky ass oriental cat a la Pangur of pangur-and-grim fame. also featuring lots of bi cats, because I say so.

Lots under the cut!

♣️Rocky - Oh!! That's a big one! He makes endless "how's the weather up there" jokes (some are so weird) and has lots of ... stories ("St. Louis' very own creature from the river bottoms, only arising when the fog is heaviest!"); it really brings him back to his circus barker days. The first time you picked him up he was momentarily stunned, also he may or may not have climbed up you like a kitten when something startled him. It only happened once, okay? He's also fond of swatting at your absurdly long tail, as in it distracts him mid-sentence and he just has to take a swipe. Look, this probably won't awaken anything in him.

♣️Freckle - First thought? Terrifying, even when you bonked your head pretty bad on the doorframe. Okay, well, you were a little less scary after the third time. He's used to being smaller than most men, but something about you just towering is nothing short of creepy, especially if you have a more tough or intense personality. If you're a kinder soul, Freckle relaxes much faster. When you both have to pile into the back of the car, he feels really awkward about how you have to contort and twist yourself. Jeez, that doesn't look comfortable ... and somehow it makes him feel a lot smaller, which he doesn't appreciate.

♣️Ivy - Omiiigossshhh, the girls at school are not gonna believe this. She beelines to you right away, delighted with the novelty she's discovered. Naturally she wants to dance, and she'd be so shocked and delighted if you were elegant in spite of your lankiness - that'll get her a crush right away. Don't worry, if you're more clumsy, you're still cute! She thinks everything you do is "cute", even if you have the face of a thug and the body of a furry noodle. Having to scoot into cars, towering over the bar when you sit on a stool, your shirt sleeves nearly going to your elbows? Cute! She'd love to buy you something real fancy that fit, she just knows you'd look sharp.

♣️Mitzi - Oh. Oh my. Not her usual taste, but with the right clothes and some pomade, well, you'd be a proper gentleman. Mitzi is already plotting to get you a nice suit made, and good naturedly notes you ought to eat more or the wind will knock you right over. She already feels small next to Atlus and Viktor, but that's doubled with you. Sometimes it makes her a little uncomfortable, but she knows you don't mean to cause the discomfort. If she got you a real nice suit and a gun, you'd be an excellent guard for when she's out and about ...

♣️Viktor - He tries to recall the last time he was this much shorter than someone ... When he was twelve, perhaps? He feels zero intimidation from you, though. Viktor's confident he could snap you in half if need be. Hm, if they got some muscle on you, you might be able to handle some serious firepower... He thinks on it. Oh, and now he isn't the only one having to dodge doorframes. If you're a less violent-inclined person, many times he's growled at you to stop being so slack-jawed and try to look scary, especially when you both are supposed to be guarding.

♣️Zib - Wow yeah okay this is awakening something in him for sure. The musician gets a little hot under the collar when you stand really close and he has to look up, or god forbid, you bend down to his eye level. He has no idea why he's feeling both aroused and terrified, and what that's supposed to mean. Once you said "good boy" as a joke and he nearly tripped and fell off the stage. He's this hopeless even when you're a dork; if you're actually a smooth operator, he's doomed.

♣️Atlas - Yeah, it's not hard to figure out how you stood out to him. You were offered a job, and though you're much lankier than a triggerman out to be, Atlas has plans. Just some fattening up, some practice with a gun and a well-made suit (your Christmas present, in fact), and you cut quite a shadowy figure. The suit is probably the finest one you own, and the only clothing that's fit in years. Mitzi helped choose the color.

🏵️Serafine - She's intrigued right away, which is no surprise. Most people notice you right away, and it's even better if you work for the Marigold gang and she gets to have plenty of time to flirt and bother and amuse you. Serafine is doubly entertained if you're a more clumsy or nervous sort. She loves calling you "le fantôme" or "le boogeyman", and very much admires when you use your height to frighten someone they're having a "talk" with. She has absolutely grabbed your long-ass tail to get your attention.

🏵️Nico - Listen. He's been with men before - not as much as women, mind you, and he's always preferred those who are smaller than him, which is most. But look. You're a tree, he's a squirrel. No shame, you're cute and he'll say it. He can probably pick you up just fine (which he's very proud of) and laughs if it embarrasses you. He's very interested in how you might fight, and has given you several tips on how to use your unusual size to your advantage when going hand-to-hand with someone.

🏵️Mordecai - Yes this is definitely awakening something and he doesnt want to think hard about it also why is EVERY damn person around him a tree -- You drive him up a wall for many reasons. You slouch all the time, your clothes never fit right, you don't carry a gun that would work best for your long fingers. The Savoys joke about you being Mordecai's "project" because he keeps fussing over you. Though they must say, it's a lot easier to get information out of their targets when they have Mordecai's signature glare and a terrifying cryptid looming over him.

⛰️Wick - Oops! All those feelings he's repressed since boarding school are coming out. Note you could be awkwardly trying to get through a doorway or climb out of a car, with clothes that don't fit quite right or trying to finesse a gun that's too small and he is just, totally enamored. If you have more of a scary demeanor - or you put on that act when you're working as Mitzi's bodyguard - then he's still enamored, just with a dash of fear. So. That's confusing.

[leighzal]

Reference used from Mellon-soup.

HAPPY HALLOWEEEN!!! 👻🎃 (yes ik its not actually Halloween but its for Halloween). Sun and Moon dressed up as Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!! Those two would no doubt love mlp. Moon would also be a big hello kitty fan, like he appears all dark and broody to like all the parents, but the kids and Sun all know he’s a softie.

Also big tidbit, I have a couple different versions for my Sun and Moon. Theres these versions and then my story versions. These two I do not see as siblings, they are more like best friends/coworkers (or lovers idc, again I’m no hater). But my story version of them (our normal life) are siblings. I just wanted to make this clear, cause I really dont mind any version of them, but I do have set universes of them.

I kinda rushed through this to be honest.

Oh and the second pic is my version of DJ. I 1000% think his glamrock body would look like a spider. Like his design would be based on a jumping spider cause they are genuinely so cute, with their big ole eyes. I also like to think that he has glasses he put on top of his eyes cause sometimes the younger kids get a little scared. Oh and he has mainly four arms, but he has an extra pair he can call out whenever! He definitely can climb the walls. Oh between his arms, like apart of his outfit would have tiny little webs. To be honest I don’t think DJ would talk. maybe selective mute? I was actually thinking he would be like boombox from gumball, where he has a switch but it’s turned off from talking, so instead he makes like boombox noises. Idk that idea may change a bit, but I like where it’s going. Btw his height is still around the same like maybe 8ft?? I know Sun and Moon would be 7ft, and I want DJ to be the tallest so yeah 8ft seems right.

[yanderespamton78]

RARE CHARLIE OC POSTING?!?!??!???

My babies :3 the tall one is Willow (she/her) the short blue one is Termite (it/it's) and the small green thing is Gleebo (it/it's) oh and btw if you use he or they on termite or gleebo i will come to your house and steal your organs :3

LORE TIME BITCHES

So willow is just some 7ft tall forest woman idk how she got there I haven't gotten that far yet. She lives alone and has for as long as she can remember and can't speak English nor really communicate in general due to the fact that she never needed to (also her vocal chords are blocked by the mushroom thing I'll get to in a min so she can't make sound in the first place) but she is still very clever. In the human au I made with my friend she went to like Oxford or Cambridge or smth idk but ANYWAYS thing with willow is she is immortal BUT she has a disease that causes mushrooms to grow in and on her body, which will one day kill her. She has a few hundred years before this happens tho so she's fine for now since she's only in the early stages but for now it causes pain and also means that she is blind in her right eye since a mushroom grew there. But anyways willow is very jumpy and timid like she is CONSTANTLY anxious. She is pretty lonely and also loves snails because they are the onely things she could pick up and take around with her that wouldn't run away or bite her. She is also not very strong because she doesn't have the guts to kill anything and eat it so survives off of nuts and berries meaning she's kinda malnourished

SECONDLY termite so termite is less fleshed out because it hasn't existed for as long (I've had willow for YEARS) but it is this like 4"10 creature thing. It has roughly the intelligence level of a border collie and has also, like willow, lived alone it's whole life. It's also like fucking rabid it survives solely off of meat and could kill a village in cold blood. Now you might be wondering "how it's like 8 years old" WELL it can kinda transform into this much stronger being if it's trying to kill smth big. I have a drawing of this but I haven't posted it I will when I'm finished :3 but in this form it has quadriplegic legs and claws and spidery legs on its back which it uses to tear apart prey plus a tail with a spike on the end which it can stab things with. Like it is fucking terrifying. Also the lil green thing gleeb is a weird lil alien thing termite adopted :3 because termite saw it and was like "hold on a second that thing doesn't look edible and also doesn't look like it's from earth. Twinningggg mine now bitch" and adopted it. Gleeb isn't very intelligent. It can recognise termite and follow it around but other than that it kinda just exists and doesn't do much.

So termite and willow do meet eachother at some point because termite was injured or smth I haven't decided that yet and willow was like "shit something that isn't a small mammal or an insect this is groundbreaking" and took it in. They are cutie patooties :3 neither of them really know how to deal with other beings so their relationship is kinda unnatural but they like eachother. But like for example termite would bite willow affectionately and then nearly bite her arm off. It doesn't help that neither of them can really communicate as termite just isn't intelligent enough to really and willow can't speak at all but a lot of how they communicate is through clapping and other things like that. In the aforementioned human au willow adopts termite and termite has some kind of learning disability that I will research and name ✨later✨.

The thing is willow and termite have such good potential for angst because willow will end up succumbing to the mushroom disease and termite will have no idea why its only carer is dying and isn't able to do anything about it but watch her slowly waste away. Y'all watched ep1 of sweet tooth??? Or when the wind blows??? Yea that kinda thing. And termite would likely just sit next to willows body like a dog sitting near it's owners grave waiting for her to wake up. But you know what we can ignore that and just look at the sweet nice family fluff parts :3

As for willow and termites environment uhm uh. Minecraft. Like they literally live in the world of minecraft. Termite got it's clothes through Minecraft achievements.

LOOK termite was originally a drawing of my Minecraft avatar then it turned into a whole story leave me alone

But anyways for the few people who read it I hope you enjoyed my incredibly long winded ramble about my OCs :3

[cuprohastes]

The Lab Rats

Dave the Human and Dave The Human were checking on the moss substrates - Spot checking for anything that might have snuck in, or any environmental issues that could be detected by checking the moss's bio-accumulation.

Garfield "Garf" Bloom, a 7ft tall, kinda reptilian biped rolled in, in her normal-for-the-species gait, hauled out Un-Named Male, her little guy, out of her pouch and dropped him from a moderate height onto the moss bank.

"Hey Garf." said the Dave that was a female Tsin for biological reasons and a male human for Payroll reasons.

"Yo, you two." said the Dave who was Human, plausibly male but had spent a week as a Female Atrix, as part of a plot to annoy the government.

Un-Named Male flashed a howdy with his display patch and wiggled into the patch of purple moss happily, which is a small Atrix's natural habitat.

"So I heard that the Human science labs still use rats." Garf said. "Do you... not use bio-chips or clone cells?"

Dave with scales scratched her chin. "Dave, you want to take this one?"

Other Dave wiggled a probe into a particularly scruffy clump of moss and nodded. "Indeed I do!" he said.

"You see, rats are very social, and have a short generation span. Back before we could load up cells onto a chip for testing we needed them for... well testing."

"Yesh! Pretty much everyone did that at some point in history." added Dave The Human, Running a spectrograph on a sample to check the light absorption was within the expected range.

Un-Named Male jsut lurked in the soft, moist moss and let the high UV lighting play on his back, which added nothing to the conversation, but he did look very comfortable.

"Right. So when it stopped being necessary for uh, biological testing, rats were often used for behavioural testing. Non-human cognition, social studies, that sort of thing."

"OK..." said Garf, quietly wiggling her fingers into the moss and making a kneading motion, a common and casual motion that would break up the substrate and allow aeration. It was soothing - Even a big Atrix like Garf remembered the comfort of hiding in a moss patch.

The Atrix parts of The Station were basically covered in various species of Moss - Their solution to air quality and comfort, and it'd taken the humans about nine seconds to point at a wall mat of deliciously verdant and fuzzy plant life and go 'Want!'.

Indeed, the introduction of non-native species for one's living quarters was just one of the benefits of the Human-Atrix alliance.

The Tsin, who developed scales to keep their water on the inside had not really taken to it so much, but if you want some fungus to add a little pizazz, they're the go-to.

"Anyway, eventually it sort of got to be a hobby thing. People like rats. They make great pets, they quite like us, and they're very non-judgemental. So someone did this study and found that labs that had a colony of two or more rats had better results... The scientists could go over and fuss with the little fuzzballs and de-stress, and it turns out if you sit down and explain your experiments to a rat, you often figure out what is causing you problems."

"Seriously?" asked Dave The Human.

"Seconded." said Garf.

"Wait, aren't they vermin?"

"Oh totally." said Dave, "Well some are. Same species. But... it turns out if you give them the opportunity they're little fuzzy buddies, so we brought them with us."

"And they're used by human scientists... to figure things out indirectly?"

"For real. Sometimes they get cited in papers as authors," said Dave happily. "I used to keep a couple when I was a Little Guy"

Note: Little Guy in this case is an Atrix phrase. The Atrix pretty much only have one gender which is size. It actually doesn't distinguish male or female. That's a human thing. Even the Tsin have four biological sexes. Un-Named Male is only nominally male because he's small. He is an adult of the species. One day he's going to put on some body mass and develop bipedal locomotion and eventually be a large Atrix, and get his own Little Guy, and be referred to as female.

"That's why they're called Lab Rats - They're essential to Human Science."

Garf pondered this, leaning to run her cheek along a mossy wall. "We just talk to our little guys." she noted casually and a patch of moss said "Grak" in confirmation.

The Tsin in the room made a face. "Dang, yo. I think we're missing out!"

"Hmm," said the more human of the Daves. "I smell an Interspecies Xenthropology collab..."

And that, dearly beloved, is how the Tsin got their Rats.

[lyrajellycat]

i feel like as a fandom we don’t talk enough about the context of ballora cause imagine being michael or henry and your dad/business partner has just gone through a nasty divorce that leaves him really depressed

and then the next time you see him he just casually rocks up with a 7ft tall dancing robot wife with tits

[acapelladitty]

Holy fucking shit, I just saw your post for Charon in response to my ask. I mean, he’s 7ft tall, if he’s proportional down there, wink wink then Lone Wanderer is in for a ride. (What’s funny is that my Lone Wanderer is 5ft tall, because I, like a fool, figured she’d be stunted from growing up without sunlight. Now she has a boyfriend who dwarfs her)

Oh, there's gonna be riding all right lmao. And size kink stuff is VERY fun 🫠🫠 I really do hope ye enjoy it love cause I'm having fun doing research and playing with ideas xx

[zenpai-senpai]

Here's shred! He's technically in his work uniform but just take off the gloves and the butcher's jacket and he's in his normal clothes lol I didn't really correctly show off his build like I wanted but he is big, like triangle shaped big. Big chest, smaller waist, like easily 6.5-7ft. boy is build like Micheal Myers or all might.

Hes basically a split off the path for the three horrors I made however he's more similar to blood in that he's past rehab and, though still with the bad Sanses, he's not really let off his icey exterior nor ever really will. He's quiet and very active so he doesn't gain weight, just muscle, and doesn't go abit softer like blood and even though he has a very rare little shit teasing side, he's quite serious. I hc all horrors have Russian accents and, when stressed/excited/confused, forget some Grammer or connecting phrases in the multiverse's version of English/common. (Think Kevin from the office "why say lot word when small word do job?" Or otherwise instead of saying " We should go to the store?" it's " We store?")I think his accent would definitely be the heaviest of all the horrors and he wouldnt speak often due to being abit embarrassed of how broken his English can get when stressed. I don't think he ever has bad intentions or wants to hurt people, he's just big, quiet, non-emoting, no nonsense and it's hard to understand him when he dose speak cause he'll forget some keywords or just say them in his language but forget to translate.

I mostly made him for a specific ship with a character called ash whose become a favorite in my little friend group but it'll be a bit before you see her so dw lol also this isn't to say you can't ship shred around, feel free lol

Here's his head

Info beneath the cut

Name: Shred

Gender: Agender (Man)

Pronouns: He/It

Orientation: Bi Ace-spec

Species: Skeleton

Age: 25

Birthday: 05/14

Personality:

Unpredictable

Mean

Stoic

Magic Color: Red

Parents:

Helvetica

W.D Gaster