#but not customer service

[patrocles]

my resume looks like absolute shit bc ive only had 2 jobs but my current job ive been at for almost 9 years. but i feel like ive wasted sooo much time here and it kinda feels too late to start anywhere else but i know that i need to bc i’m just not making enough money. but like i dont think i rly have any qualifications for anything else atm?

[redrook]

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[thatscreamingrat]

went to the pub for a drink on my first real day off in over a week and watched the girl behind the bar drop the entire cash drawer on the floor in the middle of the rush and then just stare at it at her feet for like a solid two minutes

[10001gecs]

i think there’s something to be said about how the gig economy makes things ostensibly more convenient but also worse. and not just like, doordash guys take too long to get to you so your food is cold. but because the business model is centered around a million people doing work without any familiarity with what theyre doing and decentralized from the businesses they’re working with, you get service that’s being reinvented from scratch every time it’s purchased.

it happens all the time that I’ll order an uber and when they pick me up, they’ll just stop in the middle of the street with their hazards on, making me dodge traffic to get to them and pissing off the cars around them. and then I’ll get in the car and chat with the driver and find out they’re actually from two counties over and they’ve never driven here before, so they don’t know where parking is or whether they’re heading to a wide open parking lot or a busy downtown. and then you start to realize that they’re not being a dick, they’re just given as little information as possible every time they pick up a ride so they have to just guess how and where to pick up a passenger. and since they’re paid by ride, they’re incentivized to pick you up as fast as possible. and all the people who cared about finding a safe place to pick you up quit the app or stopped doing that so all you’re left with is the pissed off cockroach motherfuckers.

and then you see that this happens with every fucking app. doordash sucks because you pay 8 million dollars for delivery and you still have to hike half a mile to find the guy because he got lost in your apartment complex. Instacart sucks because the guy picking your groceries couldn’t care less about getting ripe fruit and replaces your heavy cream with shaving cream. customer support for all this sucks because the guy helping you can’t do anything more than offer you $5 credit, beg for your forgiveness, and hope you get out of the queue fast enough for him to go to the bathroom. because all of them aren’t given enough time to do a good job or enough money to care.

and every time a gig worker makes the experience suck for you, it’s a rational decision. they’re evaluating the money they’re being paid and if it’s worth getting paid less to do a good job, and correctly deciding that it isn’t. so you can’t even get mad, because you’d do it too. and so the company manages to pass on its race to the bottom to its lowest-paid employees.

[cyndavilachase]

real interaction i had at work

[mariflexion]

disbarment era phoenix gets a fast food job

[mellosdrawings]

Crack idea done between two commissions.

Rip customer service dude. You're back for 4 years and even more mess to deal with 🫡

[animentality]

[localrobosexual]

literally fuck companies that don't want their employees to act "unprofessional" in front of customers. I'm at a five guys rn and the employees here are joking around calling orders back and forth to each other and saying things in weird voices and laughing with each other while they work. Someone just came in for their shift while I was waiting for my food and was greeted by the whole kitchen with a secret handshake lookin thing. It was so silly and cute I love seeing ppl have fun at work and I know my food's gonna be bomb bc the ppl there are having fun with each other. Let employees be people and friends and have fun what is the issue!!!!

[afriblaq]

Interesting

Download: Goods Unite Us app (GUU)

[thepoisonroom]

NOTICEABLE positive change in the utilities company lady's mood once she found out i had a girlfriend

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bank Robber: Fill up the bag!

Teller Danny: Excuse me?

Bank Robber: Fill up the bag and don't you dare try to press that panic button. I'll shoot!

Danny: My guy, this is a bank in a crime alley. There is no money here. At most you'll get like 4k.

Bank Robber: Shut up! Just fill it!

Danny: Wow, that's a lot of attitude for a man with 35 cents in his account

Bank Robber: What?

Danny placing straps of bills in bag: I know it's you, Martin. You have a speaking impediment. It's very characteristic.

Martin: So you can identifying me?

Danny: I can identify that you ain't got no money. Walking in here thinking you're hot shit with you 35 cents.

Martin: I can't have you telling the cops where I am *shoots Danny in the head*

Other Hostages: *Scream*

Danny pinches his nose to blow out the bullet: Orginal

Martin: *Horrified* W-what are you?

Danny: Me? I'm undead.

Martin: Y-you're a Bat!?

Danny: What?

Martin: I heard the rumors that Batman and his crew were vampires but I never.... I'm so sorry! Please don't eat me

Danny: Ew, I'm not going to eat you. I've seen your bank transactions. You eat waaaay too much take out for your blood to be healthy.

Martin: ..... I don't have time to cook

Danny: Try a salad menu. Also, look out Red Hood is here. I think he might eat you.

Martin: What?

Red Hood: *Slams bike through front window* THINK AGAIN SCUM BAG

Martin: *Screams*

Danny: You vampire mother-Fudger. I have to clean up that glass now. It's only an hour till closing too. Ancients I hate this city.

[quesocheeso]

macaque willingly letting mk work to keep him humble while on the other hand, pif fighting tooth and nail back at swk for causing red son to go through guanyin internship lol, if that still happened here? ig it prob didnt since the journey didnt happen but still. cute.

mk 🤝 red son: having suffered through customer service (if what red son did counts as customer service. he was definitely not the boss tho)

I’ve heard of Red Son’s internship but idk much of it but I do think Red Son celestial customer service arc is funny, so yeah this is canon,,, somehow Red Son gets an internship with Guanyin and that’s how he ends up with the time traveling artifact that yoinks MK to the past

PIF and SWK in the same boat about their kids doing customer service like ewww no

Yeah they’re a lil protective

Sunset Era - After Story

[charlesoberonn]