#but nope it went to syd
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I'm back on that sydcarmy ectocooler because I just listened to this interview with jennifer castle about her song blowing kisses and I have thoughtsss under the cut
so apparently she had already recorded the song and she then sent it to matty as a sort of pitch to see if it could be included in s3, she mentions that it was a matter of figuring out if/where the song would "fit" in the show, and I just find it sooo interesting that it was chosen for sydney in a very introspective scene where she's basically deciding her future
and don't get it twisted my heart's still in it my dedication's a star and it shines on our differences and there's love in the meantime jennifer says that the song is about something that you're not able to speak about, but that you just gotta have faith and keep moving forward, so it's not hard to see how it relates to sydney's current situation and how she's unable to speak to carmy about it
can you feel me? can you feel what I do? I'm at the front of the moment and I'm blowing my little kisses to you, baby
like they're giving each other silent signals, maybe even subconsciously (the wider margins, the dish that looks like syd's scarf), they have bleed into each other's lives!!!
there's no words to fumble with I'm not a beggar to language any longer
they're both not saying what they feel/mean/need to say to understand each other and move forward together, although they already have established a very non-verbal form of communication (like the I'm sorry sign, which was never used this season), idk if it's enough to get them through this disconnect, hopefully this is what s4 will revolve around anyway, i just find it funny that CS and co. heard this song and went hmmm where could this fit?? who is this about? oh yeah, this is for sydney... which could mean nothing
#like let's be real#the song is pretty romantic#if clairexcarmy was endgame they could've given it to either one of them like 'oh i still love her/him'#but nope it went to syd#i rest my case#sydcarmy ectocooler#it's a thing now i guess#sydcarmy
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never thought i’d be overwhelmed by tumblr, but things change ig
#tumblr updates#omg the new layout sucks#i went on my laptop for two seconds#then said nope#syd talks
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The Bear & His Honey Chapter 6
Inspo: Lyrics - "Willow" (TS) "I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans." Summary: (18+ ONLY FIC NO MINORS BEYOND THIS POINT) Winnie & Carmy have a late night phone conversation, Winnie contemplates her new situation with her closest friend, Winnie attends family night, Impresses Richies daughter with some Disney Princess behavior, Winnie admits she's learned more about Carmen then she's let on, Carmen and Winnie plan a night in together. W/C: 11K+ Posted: 02/16/24 A/N: Helloooo!!! It's here!! It's here!! Our first long juicy chapter!! I have realized with the pacing I've set, that the first of the smutty smut will happen *the next* chapter, sorry for the lead-on :( - but I promise it will be sooooo filthy and delish since I've made you wait for so long!!! Warnings for BTC: Heavy kissing, Swearing, Some fluff, some angst, thats pretty much it- smoking cigarettes? I guess.. and social drinking.
➜°✶ 🎀 𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 ♡𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉❣ 🎀 ✶°
➜ 𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓾𝓹 𝓸𝓷 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓕𝓲𝓿𝓮
✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀
Carm’s P.O.V -
As soon as she left I leaned against the door for a moment, rubbing my face and sighing deeply.
What the fuck has been going on with me the last couple of days. What is my fucking fixation with her?
I grab the tray of dishes and open the door, looking at the time “Hey - you know your new toy thinks I’m a fuckin’ Berzatto” Richie laughs and I roll my eyes. “Very fuckin’ funny” I put the dishes in the sink. “I’ll be sure to fuckin’ straighten that shit out with her asap” I sigh deeply, looking over the kitchen and observing where everyone was in their prep for dinner.
“Chef” Syd says and I look over to her “Yo’ what's goin’ on” I clear my throat, hoping she’d forgotten about earlier. “I um- I just wanted to say sorry, ya know for - interrupting, whatever that-” I shake my head. “Nope, all good, all good. My fault I uh- sorry. It’s my bad, it won't happen again, work is more important.” she nods.
“I was coming to um tell you - When I - anyway I was looking over the liquor order for tomorrow and I realized we really underordered, and I can't figure out where the math went wrong, and- “
“Syd” I sigh deeply, rubbing my chin. “Don’t worry, ok?” I said and took the clipboard from her. “Just go, go take a break- ok?” I said and she nodded slowly. “Are you… feeling alright?” she asked and I looked at her. “What?” I asked. “I don’t think you’ve ever asked me to take a break, I don’t think you’ve asked anyone to take a break. “ I shrugged.
“Dunno, I just took one, a long break, maybe I’m fuckin refreshed. Go chef, go eat.” I said and made my way down the line. “Jeff” Tina said and smiled at me. “Yes, chef?” I raise my eyebrow. “So you’re not gonna mention the cute little thing that's pokin’ around here past 2 days? Who’s that you finally over your other girlfriend?” she asked and I swallowed thickly.
“Chef,” I said sternly. “Not talkin’ about my personal life right now, where are you with your vegetable prep?” I asked, she rolled her eyes a bit. “Soo sensitive Jeff” She uncovered the 2 bowls in front of her already done. “Good. How did you see her anyway, we’ve been in my office…” I said curiously.
She smirked, “I have my ways, she’s cute, short, didn’t know you liked the small ones” she teased and I smiled a bit at the thought of her, “Tina, back to work and no more talk about who I bring around on my breaks, heard?” I ask. “Yes Jeff, loud and clear” she retorts.
By the time the clock had hit 10:50, we were all cleaning, and Richie and Fak of course were shooting the shit as they cleaned their stations. “Dude so tell us about this Winnie the Pooh character man,” Fak says as he scrubs down the blacktop. “Firstly, don't fuckin’ call her that, secondly, none of your business- she's not a character, just a… a friend” I shrugged.
“Hey Fak, do we nail?” Richie says and I glare at him. “We do not nail, have never, but you are totally nailing that chick, or want to.” I clench my jaw. “Cousin, why do you have the fattest loudest fuckin mouth in the entire kitchen?” I questioned. He shrugs, “Dude, it should call for celebration if you’re finally getting laid!!” I roll my eyes annoyed, “Shut the fuck up, just shut up about it dude you’re both pissin’ me off” I continued scrubbing down the sink.
“Leave Jeff alone he can fall in love if he wants to love is beautiful Jeff I'm glad you're giving it another try after Claire that was so messy” Tina piped in and I groaned, “Tinaaa!! Stop! No can we all stop I have met this girl because she works across the fuckin street, she helped me with the menu because -” I try to come up with a reason that sounded better than ‘she reads’ when there are multiple members of the staff that read for fun.
“Becauseee… she's cute?” Richie said and I threw my wet sponge at him. “Off my fucking back! All of you! “ I huffed and rinsed out the now sparkling sink. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you take a lunch break, Jeff, sorry! Thats last I’ll say” Tina teases with a smile. “ We aren’t in love but you know what I do love? Fucking sleeping! Can I get a clean fucking kitchen so we can all leave?” I ask and am hit with a chorus of “Yes Chef”.
By the time everything was said and done it was 12:40, Satisfied with the fact that I was off earlier than usual I got changed and made the short walk back to my apartment, I couldn’t help but glance at Winnie's apartment at the end of the street as I headed inside, all I’d been thinking about since she’d left was hearing her voice again, because even though the sour candy had helped, I felt like it had just pushed it further down, allowing me to hold it back for a more convenient time.
I got in, taking a shower before crawling into bed for once. I took a deep breath, looking at my phone, not having realized Winnie had texted 4 hours ago now. I clicked on it and it opened,
Sorry.. I just keep thinking about what happened earlier. Idk why I feel weird.
I bit my lip, my mind darting between all the things she could possibly mean, was it the episode? Fuck I knew I didn’t let anyone see for a reason, but she seemed- like she would understand maybe? But why would I think that, I just met her, I don’t even trust Sugar like that. What if she was… rejecting me? I swallowed crossedly, and before I could realize what I was doing I had clicked on her contact and clicked call.
I panic, not sure whether to just hang up and after just 3 rings I hear a sleepy “Carmy?” and my heart tightens. “Uh. Yeah- sorry, hey” I said smacking my palm to my forehead lightly idiot. “Hey” I heard her yawn. “How was work?” she asks softly. “It was..work. What do you mean about - why do you feel weird?” I asked and the line got silent for a moment, all I could hear on the other end is what sounded like rain.
“Are you….sleeping in the shower?” I asked and she giggles. “Oh my god, so silly. It’s fuckin’ rain noise, a noise machine, it helps me sleep.” she said and I snort. “Oh thats…cute. But- yeah why d’you feel… weird?” I asked again and she sighs softly, getting quiet again.
“I…don’t want to scare you away” she said finally and I furrow my brows in confusion, turning onto my side. “You couldn’t do that, Winnie, what’s wrong, talk to me” She takes a deep breath. “You know how… how you said you don't like being attached to anyone?” she asks quietly. I swallowed thickly, “Mmhmm” I hummed. “I get too attached, to people… and… I don’t think we’d be good for each other, now that you’ve told me,” she said sadly, and I felt my heart ache, my stomach turning with anxiety.
“You won’t get attached to me though, if you meant what you said” I counter, looking at the shadow of the passing cars on the wall. “But I will, and - when you never want me I’ll hate myself.” she said quietly. “No. You’ll see who I am soon enough, and you’ll realize that it’s for the best that I’m not anyones boyfriend.” I said and rolled on my back, looking up at the ceiling.
“It’s not about being my boyfriend! I don’t care” she huffed “Then what, Winnie?” I cross my arm over my chest “The day will come, that you meet a girl- and you do want her to be your girlfriend, and I’m going to be so attached to whatever we have, that it will break me for you to be with someone else.” she said softly. I chuckled a bit, “Winnie, I don't date. Ever” I replied,
“How do you mean?” She asked, and I sighed softly. “I - I’ve never had a girlfriend, there was this girl I thought I wanted, her name was Claire, a-and I fucked it up with her last year, Really, really bad. She grew up with us, but she… I couldn’t - move. With her, you know?” I said. “She wasn’t letting you grow?” she asked softly, and I sighed in relief. “Thank you, exactly, yes.” I rub my jaw slightly.
“But I did some really fucked up shit, and strung her along, and I fucked up at work a-and I can’t again, Winnie. I can’t “ I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek and cursing myself internally when it starts to bleed again. “I dunno.. Carm. I have abandonment issues” she said quietly and I snort. “You and me both” I said and sighed softly. “But… I -” I sigh deeply “Nevermind” I shook my head. “I’m sorry..f’waking you” I said.
“No” She replied “You did, because you wanted to, and you said you liked getting to know me..right?” she questioned. “Of course I do.. but - I don’t like answering questions as much as I like asking them to you…” I look over the bruised part of my arm that she had tended to last night and I hear her giggle. The sound sends butterflies through my stomach, and my chest lightened just a bit.
“Fine, question, for a question then, I’ll let you ask first” she mused and I smiled a bit. “So..you had alot of boyfriends growing up?” I asked, a bit nervous about the answer. I was not the most experienced in bed, I did Tinder in New York and had some god-awful experiences, but I was always willing to try things that were brought up, as long as they did the asking, I’d never share my internal desires with a hookup especially.
“Nope” she said popping the ‘p’ “My turn now?” she asked and I chuckled “No way! Hell no, if those are your answers I don’t wanna play” I said and she sighed, “Ok, ok, thought I’d give it a try…lets see, i’ve had 4 boyfriends total, 2 were in high school, so not sure if you can count those. One was more of a fling in college, and then my longest was my worst, learned my lesson about..older men.” she finished and I raised my eyebrows, “How much older?”
She tisked “Hold it, it's my turn now” she said and I huffed. “Fine, what’s your question” I asked “And you better give me a solid answer like I gave you” she said and I snort “Yes ma’am, c’mon, ask away.” I said. “What did you do to Claire?” she asks and my blood runs cold, my stomach turning to lead and I swallow thickly.
“Uhhh” I said, trying to come up with an answer that sounded as least prick like as I possibly could. As if she could read my thoughts, she said “Pure, honesty, Carm. All of you. Remember?” I bit down on my lip. “Yeah I…kinda- I don’t- don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t want her anymore, just…” I lick my lips trying to find the words. “I’m…guilty” I said “I-I feel, guilty, for what I did, and it was because she…she wanted to be with me, and I-I saw her, as like a…jumping off point, and I never intended her to want me how she wanted me, and I” I take a deep breath, feeling that burning anxiety in my chest.
“So..you lied to her about how you felt?” she asked and I sighed, “Yes, horribly, fully lied. Winnie, and it’s so so bad… when we first opened last year, we had the first family, I was so-” I swallow hard, “Distracted, with trying to get myself to like her… that I fucked up, and didn’t call the fridge guy, and I locked myself in the walk-in, a-and” I shake my head, “And?” she said softly.
“I thought I was talking to Tina, one of my sophomore chefs- about how I felt, and I was honest, because shes Tina, and I told her that I- I didn’t want her, and I never did, and she was right fucking there.” I sighed deeply and she was silent for a moment. “Do- do you- Really want me to come to family, or do you want to prove to yourself that you have it in you to hide your feelings well enough again until you decide what you really want?” she asked, her voice just above a whisper.
I swallow, my chest tightening at what I was about to do but I didn’t want to answer that because I wasn’t sure how, “It’s my turn now.” I said and bit my lip. “N-no- you can ask two- answer, Carmen” she said her voice trembling and my stomach drops. “I don’t know Winnie, I- I don’t want to hide from you, i’ve never- I-I never did this with Claire, talked to her.” I said and sit up a bit.
“Ask me your two” she said, her tone different then before. “No- no just one…” I said “H-how…why do you think our souls know eachother?” I asked, not even knowing where it came from before it came out. She quiets for a moment, before saying “I dunno… a feeling, like- why can we talk like this right now?” she asked and I think on it for a moment. “Not sure” i reply.
“Why did you say you won’t talk to me every day, but we’ve been in such close contact the last 3 days?” she asked softly, I rubbed my chin in contemplation. “Because when I inevitably fuck up and piss you off, I’m not the guy that's gonna run to you and bring you flowers- a-and beg for your forgiveness because I won’t deserve it, so I’ll run and hide, and i’ll only ever try to get you to forgive me if you tell me you - like.. Want me in your life still” I sighed.
“Well.. I won’t beg for your apology but i’ll ask you if you’re sorry if you hurt me” she replied, and I found myself smiling lightly. “You always know what t’say” I look at the clock on my phone, 27 minutes already.
I heard her yawn, “Hey, I think you’re right Winnie, about- the soul thing..I was gonna let you go but just one more thing” I look at the flower on my arm. “I realized… that- you make me feel the same peace..that Mikey did, because…because - it’s so stupid, but when you poked my arm yesterday? You- you poked the flower that I got, for him. And I had one of those- attacks, before you got there…and after you were there- I realized, that… that Mikey used to help me outta those when I was little.” I admitted, the words spilling out like word vomit. It could be deliriousness from not getting much sleep the past few days and all the stress at work.
“Mmm…see?” she mumbles sleepily “Thats how you know, that poke was Mikey tellin’ you,” she said softly. “Ye’...I dont usually think about shit like that but uh…I dunno- I wanted to tell you, thank you for being there for me by the way.” I said and she let out a sleepy “mmhm”
“Alright, sorry again f’wakin’ you, I’ll see ya’ tomorrow ok? 4?” I asked.
“4, Night Carmy” she said softly. “Night, Winnie” I said and hung up.
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
Winnie’s P.O.V -
I woke up to the sound of my usual 7 am alarm. I rubbed my eyes groggily, grabbing it and hitting the ‘stop’ button. Did I dream that Carmen called me last night and opened up to me? I hit my call log, to see a 29:28 conversation with none other, then Carmen. I bit my lip gently,
You always know what t’say
His voice echos in my mind. I sit up in bed, rubbing Sephys silky soft fur absentmindedly as I think. I sat there for a few minutes going over the parts of the conversation I could remember through my sleepiness, and before I knew it I was opening up my messages and clicking on his name.
GM, excited to be wined&dined tn, Chef. See ya @ 4
I got up, getting my day started. I took my pills, showered, brushed my teeth, and put on some comfortable black yoga pants and a way oversized ‘Chiefs Kingdom’ hoodie, slicking my hair into a claw clip. I fed Persephone per usual, making myself some coffee.
I was leaned at my kitchen island, watching tik toks while I sip my coffee, when my phone buzzed. My mind meets Carm’s notification at the top.
Morn - since ik you’ve never had Caviar, I think tn will be alot of firsts for you.
I bit my lip, of course he meant ingredients, like fancy shit- he can tell I have an unexpirienced pallate. But… I couldn’t help but go to the more dirty firsts that I could be having. Getting fucked in a walk in freezer? Maybe…rough office sex? I shake my head, smirking at my own filthy ideas. But I still love to tease, and I can do that by leaving more to his imagination.
We can only pop so many cherrys in one night before I get worn out, Chef.
I smirked at the little delivered under the message, clicking back on to my tiktok live of this fabulous farmer who was always dancing with his animals. I finished off my coffee, grabbing my purse and taking my headphones putting them on. I just wanted to drown in music on this walk, to silence my thoughts.
“Love you honey!” I called to sephy as I walk out the door. I bounce down the stairs, opening the door and taking a deep breath of the crisp march air. Spring was finally starting to bloom. I smiled, seeing my next door neighbor, Ms.Mendoza waiting for her little weenie dog to do potty in the patch of grass.
I took off my headphones for a moment, “Good Morning Miss Mendoza, How are you?” I chirp and she smiles upon seeing me, her tan wrinkled skin crinking up at the corners of her eyes in a smile. “Good Morning my Sunshine, I am well thank you so much for bringing his dog food up, honey” she said and I pull her in to a hug, kissing her cheek. “Any time! I love this little guy and he’s gotta eat, right Kidlat?” I squat next to the little black dog and pet his head. He jumps on my legs making me giggle as he licks my hands.
“Oh, Sunshine- I hate to ask you, but I need some more detergent, do you think you can get some for me?” she asked and I look up at her, nodding with a smile. “Course! I’ll be home early today, in a few hours actually. I’ll swing by the store on the way home” I stood up and she cupped my cheek. “You are such a good girl, Mahal” she said, causing me to smile.
“And you are such a wonderful lady, Miss Mendoza, I’ll see you ok?” I said and gave her a quick hug before heading off. It wasn’t likely that she saw Carm and I with her bad vision in the dark, for that which I was thankful, because she hasn’t stopped pesking me about a boyfriend whenever I help her clean her apartment in the places she cant get down on her hands and knees anymore. And considering where Carmen stands on the word boyfriend - It would make me crazy to dodge all her questions with him on my mind.
I hum along to my music as I continued down, mumbling the lyrics to myself. I finally get to the store, opening the door since my coworker, Sadie was already here. “Hey Pooh!” she said and I smiled. “SadieBug!” I said happily taking my headphones off. “How was Cape Cod?” I asked and she smiled. “Really great! I love seeing my grandparents, they’re awesome” she said. Sadie’s smile was so pretty. “You’re gonna have to show me pictures” I said, putting my purse down in my usual spot behind the counter.
“Totally, what’s been goin’ on with you? Alot change here in 3 weeks?” she joked. She’d usually expect nothing of an answer, especially because she was my only friend, we work together, and the only time I didn’t see her was on our days off which was 2 a week. “Uh.. not- particularly” I said the end sounding a bit like a question.
“Okay, so tea? What’s goin’ on?” She asked and it brings a small smile to my lips. I feel so relieved. I completely forgot that Sadie was coming home this week, and would be starting back with me today. My ADHD makes it to where if I don’t see or hear from someone even someone I love as dearly as SadieBug they completely skip my mind.
I silently thank myself for not calling her the other night at 2 am when I got back from my date with Carm, she hates being woken up. “So. Ok so on break on Tuesday I saw this hot guy smoking and so I talked to him and - he invited me in to his restaurant, you know, The Bear -“ She cuts me off.
“The restaurant - that Sydney works at?” She asks and my eyebrows raise, jaw dropping and I smack my hand over my mouth. “Oh my god” I mumble into my hand, eyes wide. Sydney. That was where I’d seen that girl. She’s Sadie’s fucking cousin. “Who - who.” She asks.
“C-Carmen Berzatto” I said and she slaps her hand over her mouth. “Noooo” I whine “nooo- no. Sadie! Sadieee. What? What?!” I ask desperately. “Syd totally had a crush on him- do you remember last year when she was telling us about her super hot boss that she had a thing for but he was dating this girl he knew from childhood?” She questions and I run my hands through my hair in stress.
“Oh- oh my god! Is she- she’s gonna hate me. I-“ my heart sinks to my stomach, my coffee suddenly wanting to make a reappearance. “She- I mean. Is dating…I guess” Sadie said and I groan. “DATING?! So? So one of my only friends- granted she works so much we’ve only hung out twice with you there but…but- nonetheless!! She had a crush on the only guy that I’ve like- MADE OUT WITH since moving here?” I looked around terrified, thanking the lord the store was empty besides us.
Sadie starts to giggle “wait- wait…ok no forget Syd, you made out with the owner of The Bear ?! The guys loaded Pooh!!!” She said and I feel my cheeks heat. “I don’t- yes! We did. And I don’t care about his money.” I said and shook my head, walking over to relock the door since we were taking inventory today. “Okkayyyy but still. Is he..any good? Sydney wanted a piece of that Italian hunk sooo bad” she jokes and I snort.
“He would die being called an Italian Hunk. But…yes. Very good. Can you believe he’s shy - like- he’s never had a real girlfriend” I said and she raised her eyebrows. “Mmmm- first red flag, noted and saved in my mental flag folder,” she cuts open a box of books for us to stock and I roll my eyes. “He’s just…passionate about work and stuff. And he- is like. So good. So good” I said and she nods.
“Second red flag, the Carmen Berzatto folder has many do you know how many times Syd ranted to me about him and I just didn’t tell you because it was private conversations- but now since you seem to have a crush on him, I need you to be fully aware” she said and I sigh deeply. “Lay it on me then, because I’m supposed to be seeing him again tonight.” I said. She stood up from her crouched position on the floor.
“Fucking family?” She asked and my head snaps in her direction “How- fuck!” I rest my hand on my forehead. “Yeah? I’m actually family- I should be asking how you got invited!!” She said and I bit my lip. “He doesn’t- invite…people?” I asked and she laughed, sarcastically. “Dude. The last time he invited anyone it was that girl he was dating, and he aired out all of his red flag shit- and she ran in the other direction!!” She said and I felt my heart thumping in my throat.
“Claire?” I asked and her eyebrows raised “You know her too?” She asked and I shook my head, “no- no he…he told me about her..last night” I said and swallowed hard. “How many times have you seen him?” She asked “3…” I replied and she put her hands on top of her head, pacing in front of the counter.
“He's- he’s not good for you and you should stop this, Winnie,” she said and I crossed my arms. “What if he’s changed, Sadie?” I ask and she stops, putting her hands on her hips. “Sydney wouldn’t have moved on if he changed. She was waiting for him to change to tell him her feelings and he never did - that’s why she started dating Alex” she said and I bit my lip.
“He doesn’t even want anything…we’re just- we’re friends.” I said and she rolled her eyes “I’m not gonna play that game with you, Winnie. Here you go again, We’re just friendsing your way around a situationship- and then when he finally gets cold feet and runs in the other direction, who’s gonna be left heartbroken?” She asked and I sighed softly, knowing she was completely right.
“Well…I dunno Sadie. We’ll see! Right- tonight. And if he…if…if it doesn’t feel right I’ll stop it ok? I’ll- I’ll tell him I don’t want to see him anymore” I said, wanting it to be true but knowing how I felt when it was just Carmen and I. She shrugged “I know you, Pooh, and you love a man who needs fixing.” She said and I rolled my eyes.
“Okay!! Reading me at fuckin, what is it” I look at the clock “9:17!! He doesn’t- okay. He needs to fix himself and I will remove myself from the situation if he treats me poorly! Because broken people deserve love while they’re putting themselves together” I echo my therapist's words to her. She rolled her eyes. “That only works if you actually follow through and don’t give him a million chances when he hurts you and then doesn’t immediately correct the behavior,” she said.
I squat next to her, scanning each new book as I put it on the bottom row of the cart. “You’re right, and I will if he hurts me I’m out! Peace the fuck out and never look back!” I said and she smiled “okayyy..hopefully you mean that” she replied. The next few hours were filled with light pleasant conversation about her trip to the cape, how her family had been doing, and running back and forth to the stock room with stacks of books.
Our half-day went by quickly, even with no customers to fill the hour's conversation with Sadie seemed to make time pass well. I stood behind her as she locked the door to the shop and we continued our conversation about a video on tik tok she saw “And so I don’t even know how people could say that they would have done something different, if I was in her shoes I’d have punched her too!” She said and I laughed “We both would have. Fuck that bitch” I roll my eyes.
“Well. Here’s where we part.” She said and I pouted “I know…but see you in a few hours right?” I said and she nodded “Yup, I’ll save you a seat- just….if Syd is a little weird don’t - don’t take offense ok? The Carmen thing is still fresh for her and I know she’ll be happy he’s moving on it’s just…it’ll be raw that it’s with someone she knows” she said and I nodded quickly, swallowing hard.
“Course- I’d never hold it against her. And I- I hope it doesn’t…make things bad for us. I really like her.” I said and she pulled me into a hug “She’ll get over it, don’t worry, you know how we don’t respect men- we’d never let them come before our girls” she said and I giggled “100% chick. I gotta go grab detergent for Ms.Mendoza, I’ll see you there” I said and she nodded, heading the opposite way down the street.
I head the other way, going into a CVS and grabbing the tide scented pods that Ms.Mendoza liked before heading home. I put my headphones on and hum softly to myself swinging the bag next to me. I finally hauled up the 3 flights to my floor, slightly out of breath. I approached Ms.Mendozas door, knocking slightly and Kidlat starts barking. “One second” she called and I heard her shuffling over to the door.
The lock clicks and she opened it, her grey hair up in curlers “oh! Sunshine, thank you dear” she said and I handed her the bag, she stretches a $10 bill to me and I push it back towards her. “No- it’s ok, you’re always makin’ me dinner” I told her and she smiled warmly. “You need to eat better young lady” she said and pinched my cheek, causing me to smile. “Do you want to come in and have some lunch?” She asked and I shook my head.
“Sorry, I’d love to but I’ll be having a big dinner tonight, I’m going to a restaurant to meet a friend,” I said and her eyes lit up. “A boyfriend?” She asked and I blushed lightly “No- no not like that, he’s just… a nice friend,” I said softly and she nodded. “Well…the best boyfriends always start as friends, Mahal,” she said and I smiled, “that’s right Ms.Mendoza…I’ll see you,” I said and headed into my apartment.
I greet Persephone, giving her a few pebbles of treats and flicking her mouse around for her for a few minutes before heading to my closet to pick out an outfit. I bit my lip, looking over the choices. I finally settled on a little black dress, complete with fluffy cuffs and a black ribbon to tie in my hair.
I headed to the bathroom, singing and dancing along to Taylor Swift as I blew out my waist-length red hair to perfection, adding in some frizz serum to make it extra soft and silky, as well as smell like milk and honey which I loved. I used to hate my red hair, my brother and I both got bullied for it when we were younger. I’d heard every name in the book, carrot top even followed me into adulthood when I met an immature prick now and again. But since I’d grown, I’d made it my thing. I got it highlighted with blonde in the winter to match how it looks in the summer naturally, and in the summer those pieces get even brighter giving me a sunkissed look.
I look at the clock, 3:04 doing ok on time. I heard my phone buzz and the little ‘pop’ notification sounding over my speaker. I pick it up, clicking on the text from Carmen.
Don’t worry, one thing I am good at is delayed gratification - wouldn’t want to overwhelm you on your first time ;)
My stomach flutters in excitement, my core twitching and growing hot with arousal. Fuck. I swallow thickly.
Leaving in 30!
Was all I sent back and locked my phone. I did light face makeup, like usual letting my freckles that spotted my cheeks and nose shine through, and added highlight to the high points of my face. I did a sharp dramatic wing, and put on some whispy lashes. Completely transforming myself, from a doe eyed sweetheart- into a sultry Jessica Rabbit. I put on my Haus red liquid lipstick after putting on a deep maroon liner, knowing that once it dried it wouldn’t be moving no matter what direction this night took me until I wanted it gone.
I went in to the bedroom, putting on a lacy red thong and push-up bra set, adjusting my chest to look full and robust before carefully slipping on my sparkly black nylons. I put on my dress, zipping up the side and smoothing it out, I went over to the mirror, taken aback by myself. I look stunning. It wasn’t often that I allowed myself to go all out, I didn’t like the attention it brought since I was more of a casual person. But this. I understand what people mean when they say you feel sexy.
I put on my favorite perfume, one that I saved for extra special occasions. It was a French perfume that my grandmother bought me when I was 15, I couldn’t pronounce the name- all I knew was that my last spray I’d use on my wedding day, and I’d only use it when I really needed confidence any day before then. I spray on my pulse points, letting it dry down before gently inhaling the smell of honeycomb, dark rum, vanilla, and sandalwood. It was the best smell in the world to me, I love this perfume.
I switched over all of my contents to a small black leather night bag I had, going and grabbing my phone off the charger. I slipped on some black stiletto heels, buckling around the ankle and I headed out to the kitchen where Persephone was lounging on the couch.
“Hi missy” I said and she meowed, getting up and stretching before walking over to me. I crouched down, petting her. “Dinner time early tonight,” I said softly and she darted into the kitchen causing me to giggle. I go in, putting her food in to the bowl and setting it down for her petting her back. “Be home soon yeah?” I said softly and check the time on my phone. 3:48. I stood up, giving myself one more look in the hall mirror.
Knock ‘em dead, Win’
I heard Christopher’s voice in my mind and I smiled, adjusting my hair. “Knock ‘em dead…” I whisper to myself before heading out the door.
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
I got to the front door of The Bear and knocked gently, Richie looks over and smiles, coming and unlocking it. “Hey you! You look snappy huh? Nice dress!” He said and I smiled big. “Why thank you, you look very handsome, Richie” I said and gave him a quick hug as I head through the door. “Thanks! Clean up pretty good don’t I?” He jokes and I giggle “very, where’s little chef boy?” I asked and he snorts “back in his office, fucker came in extra early this morning we’re running 2 hours ahead of schedule for once” he said and a little girl comes racing from the kitchen.
“Daaaddyyy look at this!!” She squeals and he picks her up admiring he picture she was proudly holding. “Look at that munchkin!! Is that you and Cousin Carmy in the kitchen?” He asks and she nods “making pancakes!!” She said happily and I smiled warmly. “Who’s this little tatertot?” I asked and she giggled.
“My daughter! Meet Eva” he said and I smiled, holding out my hand to her. “Wonderful to meet you, Eva.” I said and she takes my hand shaking it gently “My name is Winnie” I smiled. “Winnie like Winnie the Pooh?” She asked cutely and I giggle “yes! Exactly like that!” I said and she wiggles away from Richie to get down and looks up at me.
“Are you princess Ariel?” She asked, causing me to giggle “well I wish” I crouch down to her height. “You talk like a princess” she said and I smile “wanna know a secret?” I whisper and she leans in, nodding. “When I was in school…I learned how to sing like a princess, do you want to hear?” I asked and she gasped. “Yes!! Please please!!” She begs. I nodded happily.
“Do you like Princess Ariel?” I asked and she nodded enthusiastically. “Ok..” I clear my throat, taking her hands in mine and softly started singing to her
“Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collections complete? Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl, the girl who has everything? Look at this trove, treasures untold, how many wonders can one cavern hold? Lookin around here you’d think-“ I poke her belly, causing her to giggle before I continued “sure, she’s got everything! I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I’ve got whosits and what’s its galore- you want thingamabobs? I’ve got 20! But who cares, no big deal- I want more” I finished and she claps, Richie staring at me intently.
“Well shit.” He said “daddy! That’s a bad word- will you marry her? Be her prince Eric!” Eva said and tugged his pant leg. I giggled “sorry sweetheart, I’m no real princess. But I’m happy to sing like one for you any time” I said and got up, smoothing down my dress. “She’s right you might be a princess I’ve never heard someone sing like that before” Richie said causing me to blush.
“Well, I was in theater all my life so.. yeah” I clear my throat with a shy smile. “Uh I’m gonna-“ I point to the kitchen and he nods “yeah- yeah f’sure. Sorry didn’t mean to keep you” he said and I shook my head “no! Not at all. Love a little song I don’t get to do it much anymore” I extended my hand to Eva, shaking hers gently. “It was a pleasure to meet you, young lady.” I said and she smiled. “Will you sing for us at dinner?” She asked and my cheeks went beet red “honey-“ Richie started “no- no honey she’s here to enjoy the food with us yeah?” He rubs her shoulder and she pouted.
“Someday we can sing together okay?” I told her softly and she nodded happily. I went back to the kitchen, opening the door. Surprised to see trays upon trays of food sitting under the warmers waiting to be plated, and all the staff except for Carmen was standing around the large island talking. When the door swings shut they look up at me, Sydney’s eyes widen and I swallowed thickly.
“Uh- Winnie?” She said “Syd!!” I said and smiled, hoping if I acted happy to see her she’d do the same. “What are you…oh- holy shit.” She said realizing. “You- you were” I shook my head a bit, widening my eyes hoping she got the message. “Yeah. Just..Here. For..for Carmen.” I get out awkwardly and she nodded. “It’s nice to finally meet you!” A short woman with black curly hair says. “I’m Tina” she comes over extending her hand to me.
I smiled and shook it gently “Winnie” I said softly. “Carmen’s in the office you can go on back” Sydney said flatly and I swallowed hard, nodding “thank you.” I said meekly and walked back, feeling the burning stare of their eyes on me as I headed to the office the only sound being the buzz of the lights and the click of my heels.
I should have went out back and texted him. Why on earth would I want to meet everyone on my own instead of him introducing me?!
I opened and shut his office door behind me, desperate to get their prying eyes off my back and Carmen looks up from his desk, his eyes widening a bit as he racked over me. I look at him and smile a bit, he looked so hot. His Chefs Whites were ironed to perfection, his curls were slicked back neatly and he looked a bit rested for once. “Hey” I said softly, finally breaking the silence.
“Hey…” he replied, eyes continuing to rack over my frame “you look…” he said, swallowing thickly. “Nice- r-really pretty” he said and I smiled, nodding a bit. “You look really handsome” I said and approached him, “thank you” he said softly a blush creeping in to his cheeks. “So…I met- like. Tina. She introduced herself. And - well. I know Syd.” I said and his eyes widened “you- you know Syd? How?” He asked.
“Oh- ah yeah her cousin, Sadie? She’s come for family before…she works with me” I said. He nodded a bit, eyes unable to read. “C’mere” he opened his arms and I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around him.
He rests his hands on my waist, pulling me into his lap causing me to giggle “woah! Hey I’m in a dress remember” I keep my knees together and he holds my legs for me nearly cradling me in his huge chair. “Thank you f’comin” he said and kisses my forehead sweetly. I blushed at the sweet, domestic like gesture and nod. “Course…how could I say no to some denied gratification… is that how you said it?” I said softly and my eyes flicker to his lips.
He smiled a bit “thats it” he strokes my thigh gently “these are nice” he said softly and I adjust his chain. “That always stays front and center when you’re around” he said and I look up at him with a smirk on my lips. “Gotta make sure you don’t loose anything” I whisper and he leans in a bit, stopping just above my lips.
“Am I gonna ruin this lipstick if I kiss you?” He asks softly, his breath hot on my lips. I pull him in by his collar, kissing him hard and running my tongue along the bottom of his lip. He hums and opens for me, and my tongue meets his immideately, tasting the reminence of a cigarette on his tongue. I hummed in satisfaction, nuzzling my nose against his sweetly and I feel him smile against my lips. I pull away and smiled, fluttering my eyelashes playfully.
“How’s the lipstick,Chef?” I asked and made a kissy face. “Perfect. Wow. Where’d you get that stuff?” He asked and pecked my lips for good measure. “Lady Gaga darling” I said dramatically and got up off his lap, fixing my dress. “Let’s go smoke” I took his lighter from my bra that I’d lifted from his pocket while we were kissing “robbed ya” I smirk and he chuckled.
“You are a sneak” he got up patting my bum with his hand and I squeak at the contact “you are getting too aquainted with my ass, Chef” I giggle a bit and he shrugged “you have a nice ass” he said and I rolled my eyes tugging the door open. I felt the lump in my throat as all eyes in the kitchen turn to us. He looks at the clock.
“Alright uh- appetizers let’s get em plated, I want everyone at their stations. Let’s keep up with the housekeeping tonight so we can get outta here on time yeah? We’ve been ahead a’schedule let’s keep it that way.” He tells them.
“Yes Chef” they said getting to work Sugar comes in the kitchen “Bear- oh! Hey!! Wowww you look cute!” She said with a smile. I blushed a bit. “Thank you, you look cute too” I told her. “What’sup Sugar” he looks at her.
“Oh I just wanted to say- great job tonight. Everything is like…perfect.” He nodded “thanks…” he muttered and tugged my arm gently “be proud of yourself, Bear. Really. Be proud.” She said sincerely and he nods. “Thanks, Sugar” I followed him outside and he sighed softly.
“She’s…right. You know that, right?” He took his cigarettes out, putting one between his lips and I lit it for him. “It’s not all me” he said once he exhaled. I crossed my arms over my waist “it is though, Carmen. You are the first one here and the last to leave, you are the person everyone looks to, when we walk out- it’s like sheep waiting to be told what to do next. They respect you Carmen. No one back talks you, no one asks why- they trust your decisions in there”
He takes in my words, looking down at our shoes as he smoked. “You run a beautiful business, Carmen. Really” I said honestly and rest my hand on his bicep. His cheeks heat, the bridge of his nose turning pink with blush. “Thank you” he said softly. “Really, means a lot” he said and I nodded, smiling a bit. I took a joint out of my purse, leaning in and lighting it on his cigarette before taking a drag.
“So, Chef Berzatto what do you have in store for me today?” I asked and he smirked at my words. “I wouldn’t want to ruin all the surprises” he said and I took another drag. “Fine but get me in the mood, make me wet, chef- my palate. You know.” I said in a sultry teasing tone. His mouth dropped at my words getting a giggle out of me. “You have a dirty mouth” he leans in and kissed me deeply, I hum in to the kiss, gently playing with the pendant around his neck.
“Maybe you have a dirty mind” I said when he pulled away and he shook his head with a smirk. “For an appetizer” he started and took a drag of his cigarette “Gladolia Petals, and spicy violet pearls, and grilled leek, aubergine, and mushrooms” he said smoke spilling from his lips in tendrils.
“Flowers?” I questioned and he nodded with a amused smile that I was interested. “Mmhmm, edible ones of course” he said. “Hm” I hum. “No wonder you’re so fit, eating like a king all the time” I teased, taking another drag of my joint. He laughs a bit “no- no. I don’t eat- I taste. I eat…honestly I eat like shit” he said and I furrow my eyebrows.
“You don’t have a super nice lunch like we had together every day?” I asked and he shook his head “oh- no way. I eat when I get home and it’s usually like” he snorts “a fuckin pb and j or a microwave burrito, I eat like..pure shit.” He said and I look at him puzzled. “Why?” I asked and he shrugged, taking another drag of his cigarette. “No time. Well - not worth it to have groceries im not home to use I guess.” He said and leaned against the wall.
I lean forward, squeezing his bicep “so…peanut butter and jelly diet huh?” I said and he chuckled. “Well yeah. I just….i work out when I can’t sleep so. Yeah. Guess it pays off being an insomniac” he smiled and I rest my head on the wall, taking another drag off my joint.
“You’re fascinating” I said softly. He smirks “why’s that?” He asked. “Well for starters- I did google you, considering when I looked up this place- there were all these articles about how you’re this decorated chef with alll these achievements and titles. And so I was like who is this big-shot? And I googled your name…and I filtered it by oldest- and it’s like you didn’t- exist. Before 2016. Nothing. Nothing in school, no sports, no clubs, no community service. But then in 2016, there was an article about you in your culinary school paper, how you were top of your class that semester. And then all these articles about how you just won award after award, and…. I just- how? How did you do it, Carmen? Where did you come from?” I asked finally.
He took a deep breath, “A lot of it has to do with my brother, let’s talk about it tonight ye’? I promise, promise I’ll tell you” he put out the butt of his cigarette and I dropped the end of mine crushing it. “Ok…are we- am I gonna be able to see you tonight?” I asked and he nods. “ ‘course baby don’t worry. I’m gonna bring you your food and everything yeah?” He pulls me to him, resting his hands on my bum. I nod and look up at him, “like…after-can we…hang out?” I asked.
He nodded a bit “sure- sure if you wanna. I don’t have to work tomorrow but I’m probably gonna be outta here at 11” he played with the hemp of my dress. I bit my lip, contemplating asking for a moment before I just bit the bullet.
“Come over? To mine? You can meet Persephone…” I said and he smiled a bit “didn’t know you had a pet” he said and I gasp “I never showed you?” I dig my phone out of my purse excitedly and open my phone showing him my Home Screen.
“Your eyes are just like hers” I giggle and he smiled, blushing a bit. “She’s super cute.” He said and I put my phone back in my bag. “Sure. I’ll probably need to shower first so how’s like midnight?” He asked, pulling me back to him gently. “That’s fine.” I said and leaned in, kissing him sweetly. The door opened and Richie pokes his head out. “Hey- sorry lovebirds. It’s 5:02 everyone’s gettin settled in. Winnie you might wanna go sit so you don’t miss appetizers.” I nodded “thanks” I said and look at Carm again.
“Kick ass out there, Chef” I said with a smile and head back in after Richie.
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
I sat down at the table with Sadie and her boyfriend, Mitch. “Hey guys” I said smiling “hey! You look cute!” She said and I smiled, looking at her lavender dress. “So do you! Love that color on you” I said and Sydney came over with a tray of drinks. “From Chef Carmen.” She said evenly, placing a cup in front of me. Spicy mint margarita with a pink umbrella, just like we had the other night. “Thank you” I said softly, putting my straw in and she sets down Sadie and Mitch’s dark blue looking drink.
“This is the house cocktail, coconut rum, vodka, and cream soda” she told them, Sadie nodded “Thanks Syd! This looks awesome” she said and Sydney nodded, smiling a bit. “I’ll be back with your appetizers in a moment.” She said and went off to the kitchen. I tried my drink, looking over at Sadie. “So…” she said softly.
“How’d it…go” she asked and I bit my lip gently. “Good…we talked, apparently we’re gonna eat flowers” I said and Mitch scrunched his nose. “Babe your cousin is in to fancy shit” he said to Sadie and she rolled her eyes “We talked about this, if you’re still hungry when we go home then we’ll stop” she said and Sydney approaches our table once again with a platter of plates.
“Gladioli’s petals with spicy violet pearls” she places a plate in front of Sadie, then Mitch, when she places a much bigger one in front of me I gasp softly. The same sauce that was in tiny dots atop the petals had been painted in to a portrait of Winnie the Pooh, ‘Winnie’ written in beautiful cursive on the side of the plate.
“Holy shit” Sadie whispered, admiring it. “Compliments of Chef Carmen, Enjoy.” Sydney went off back to the kitchen and I bit my lip to contain the smile that was forming. “Well that dude is dick-whipped” Mitch says, earning himself a kick in the shin from Sadie. “Shut it!” She hissed. “That is actually like…cute..Pooh” she smiled a bit, causing me to blush.
“Yeah…” I said in response, carefully eating around the art. “Wow” I muttered “This is weird, tastes like spicy garlic” She said and I smile. “I’ll be sure to give the chef your notes” I nod. “It kinda does though, I agree.” I hum. I slip my phone out of my purse, taking a photo of the plate and sending it to Carmen.
Here I was thinking you weren’t a romantic type, you’re a sap Berzatto!!
I smiled as I hit send, putting my phone back in my purse. I finished off my drink, and when the next round came out there was a waitress with curly brown hair bringing us the food. “Hello, I’m sure you were greeted by who invited you this evening, Here we have the second part of the appetizer, grilled leek, aubergine, and mushrooms with a cream sauce.” She puts a plate down in front of each of us.
“My name is Tara, I will be your waitress for the rest of the evening. Miss, would you like another of your cocktail?” she motioned to my drink, I nodded “Uh- sure! Yeah, thank you” I smiled and handed her my cup and she went off to the bar. Sadie scrunches her nose in a way I knew she would at the dish which makes me laugh. “Sadie!” I whisper between giggles. “Stop- we have to try it, if Syd sees our plates untouched shes gonna be so mad!” I said and she started laughing quietly but I could tell she was holding back by the little squeaks that were coming out.
“Ssssadie!!!” I cover my mouth to cover my laugh. “Stop it!” I whisper and pick up my fork, cutting a piece of it and putting it in my mouth. “Ok, it's not bad just…earthy- you’re not gonna like it” I said and she pushed her plate away. I took one more bite before deciding it wasn’t for me and pushing it aside. Bussers came to all the tables taking the empty plates and the waitress comes back with my drink.
“Thank you” I smiled, “Of course- The head chef requested he personally bring out your meals to this table, it should be out momentarily, in the meantime would you like another drink?” She asked Mitch, since Sadie had barely touched hers. “Yeah sure but um- a beer is fine, just Miller lite” he said and she nodded, taking his empty glass to the bar and coming back with the beer before returning to the kitchen.
“Oooo he’s comin’ to bring you your food - we didn’t even see him last time I was here” she said and I felt my cheeks heating “See! I told you he’s nice, and he’s gonna ask how we’re liking everything, and you better not laugh!” I give her a look although I was trying to hide a smile. She starts giggling again “Then don't look at me!!!” she said causing me to laugh and the door swings open, the waiters and waitresses all filing out to tables and Carm was at the end of the line.
I smiled at him, before breaking my gaze and looking at Sadie shooting her a don’t giggle! Look. He approaches the table “Hey you” He said softly and I smiled, “Everything is awesome, Carm” I said quietly for only us to here and he smiled “I’m glad you’re enjoying” he puts the plates down in front of us. “So we have for your main course, Roe Deer in a salt crust, crunchy Cavolo Nero, a Hazlenut pesto, and Celeriac” he said and I furrow my brows, He leans down “It’s really just deer steak, kale, pesto, and grilled celery root baby, we just say it fancy” he whispered in my ear and I smiled looking at him, my whole body covered in goosebumps by the use of the intimate name.
“Chefs, are the art bro’s of food” I said softly and he chuckled a bit. “Enjoy your meal” He told us and went back to the kitchen. “This taste like a potato” Sadie said, eating some of what I now knew was celery root. “I guess its a fancy celery root” I said and cut up my steak. I hum at the flavor, our whole table growing quiet as did most of the restaurant as we enjoy the meal. At the end of the course the buspeople came out again and collected the empty plates, before the waitresses came shortly after with the dessert.
She placed my plate down last again, this time, my chocolate cake had a heart drawn in chocolate sauce next to it, causing me to smile and blush. “He’s… like- actually in to you, Winnie” Sadie said, observing my plate. “I dunno- it’s it could be flirting” I shook my head with a smile, taking a bite of the delicious cake. “Wow… this is great” Sadie said and I nodded “mmm- absolutely…I’m gonna need Carmen to give me some of this again” I said and took out my phone, seeing he’d replied to my text.
Only with extra pretty girls who share their sour candy
I smiled at the thoughtful reminder of yesterday, quickly typing and sending a response.
Can’t wait till 12 to see you- can I pay my compliments to the Chef before I go?
I slipped my phone back in my purse, continuing to talk with Sadie and Mitch about different pop culture things and the gossip of what's going on in our lives at the moment. I nibbled on my chocolate cake, feeling fuller by the second and knowing I’d never be able to finish it.
I heard my phone buzz in my purse and put my fork down, fishing it out and looking at Carmens response
Course I just have to thank everyone for coming & everyone says their goodnights
I locked my phone again, “Sadie- Gotta go to the bathroom, comin’?” I asked and she nodded, getting up and following me back to the womens room. I pushed open the door and she followed behind me. “Ok, well I will say he’s being sweet, and way more romantic then Syd said he was with Claire” Sadie said as I touched my makeup up in the mirror. “Told you, he's changed” I touch up my face powder and she huffed, leaning against the wall.
“Or he could be in his honeymoon lovebombing stage, and wanting you to fall for him so he can go all cold” She said and I rolled my eyes. “Yes” I replied, partially annoyed, “But, he could also be into me, and showing it! Like a nice guy, like you said- he has this place, and I googled him before- you’re right. So why not…ya know” I shrugged. She sighed a bit “I guess” she opened up the stall door to use the restroom and I waited for her near the door.
“You’ve been texting him the whole time, doesn’t that say lovebombing to you?” she asked as she pulled on the toilet paper roll. “Oh- the whole time” I laugh a bit, rolling my eyes. “I texted him first, we’ve exchanged like 2 texts!” I said and she flushed, opening the stall door and coming out to wash her hands. “And I assume you’re seeing him tonight…” she raised her eyebrows.
“Yes…and?” I said and she giggled “I will say it with my chest like Ari!” I said causing us both to laugh. I opened the door to the bathroom for us and we went back to the now cleared table, sitting down. There was soft chatter throughout the restaurant and all the Chefs came out. “Alright I just wanted to thank you all for coming tonight, Means alot- and Without further do- Chef Sydney, who created the main course tonight” Carmen said and we clapped.
“Thank you all so much for coming, I hope you enjoyed the dish I worked very hard on it, and I hope to see you all next time, stay safe!” She said and we gave her a round of applause before the Chefs broke off to their respective families, to my surprise- Carmen and Sydney both came up to our table.
“How was it?” He asked and I smiled wide, so happy he was wanting to show off to people that he invited me. “So- so good, Chef Sydney- you are so amazingly talented, I’m so grateful to call you a friend” I said honestly and touched her hand. She looked at me a bit surprised and grasps my hand gently with hers, “Ye-Yeah, yeah, totally, thank you, Winnie- really” she nods.
“Ok- what the fuck was that appetizer- mushroom shit” Sadie asks Syd and I can’t contain my laughing at her usual boldness. Carmen’s jaw drops and Syd’s eyes widen, and my giggles caused Sadie to start laughing herself. “What do you mean oh my god Sadie! That is my boss” she said and I gasp in laughter, leaning in to Carm’s side.
“Don’t worry Syd, Carmen,” I look at him and his shocked expression just makes me laugh harder. I caught my breath and wrap my arm around his bicep, “Sydney and I are both sorry for Sadies outburst, shes picky” I giggled and he shook his head, chuckling a bit. “I can see why you two are friends” he said and I raise my eyebrows, “Better be a good thing Chef!” I giggle and he nods, “Course, 2 firecrackers I’m sure you two cause lots of trouble, c’mon I need a cigarette before we clean y’comin?” He wrapped his arm around my waist and I nodded “Thank you again, Syd - Sadie- see ya monday” I told her.
She gives me a look as Carm tugs me away, my purse tucked in my arm, and gives the ‘call me’ sign and I giggled, nodding and taking his hand as we slinked through the kitchen to the back alley. As soon as the door shuts, I leaned against it, pulling him by his collar into a deep kiss and he hums softly, cupping my waist with his hands and lightly squeezing. I swipe my tongue over his bottom lip and he opens for me, our tongues meeting roughly, a needy wanting kiss. His hands travel down and cup my ass, squeezing. He pulled away after a moment, lips swollen from our kiss, us both slightly out of breath.
“That was so fucking amazing Carmen, holy shit you are fucking amazing” I breathed and kiss his neck, biting gently at the skin under his jaw and he gasps softly, his hands trailing up to the small of my back, “What was- dinner? Or the kiss?” He asked, “Both” I breathe in to his neck, kissing the pulsepoint below his ear before nibbling his earlobe “Oh- okay” He said softly. “I- I wanna keep doing this with you but I have to get back inside, baby” he said lowly and I pulled away, pouting a bit. “Ok” I said, taking his lighter out of his pocket while he found his cigarettes and lighting it for him. He leans against the door and exhales in a sigh, rubbing his hand over his face.
“That actually went really fuckin’ well” He said and took another drag. I leaned on my shoulder, watching him. “I’m glad.. It was all so, so good Carm, it was delicious” I said and held his other hand, kissing the tattoo of the chefs knife gently. “Guess you’re my good luck charm yea?” he teased and I smiled, cheeks heating slightly. “No- that would be you, you’re the lucky charm” I kiss over each one of his knuckles gently.
“Could I…maybe take you up on that massage tonight? If you were serious that is.” He said and I smiled, “Of course, Would you like to make a reservation at Winnies Massage Parlor for 12 midnight?” I asked and he chuckled, “I would actually, I tip very well” He teased and I smiled, my heart picking up. “Sounds good, I’ll see you then” I said and he stomped out the butt of his cigarette.
“Thanks f’comin honey, I really mean it” He said and wrapped his strong hands around my waist. I smiled, “Of course! Carm, anytime” I said and he leaned in kissing me sweetly. When he pulled away I look up at him. “Twelve?” he asked.
“Twelve, I’ll text you my apartment number” I said and went down the step “See ya, Chef” I winked and he gave me his priceless smile as he went inside.
➜ 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒮𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃!
#the bear fic#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmen berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto#carmy berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#the bear fx#the bear hulu#carmen berzatto x oc#carmy berzatto x oc#carmen x oc#carmy x oc#the bear oc#the bear 🐻#carmen berzatto smut
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It actually means conscious VS unconscious
And Storer did it again, he was metaphorically saying what he was doing and put it out there, in plain sight.
I already went over this point in several posts actually because it was pretty obvious to me that their only issue was definitely not communication, that was just the visible tip of their iceberg. It was deeper than that because communication is never a cause per se, it's always a consequence of multiple other factors, so I knew it was about the REASON behind it and whether they are aware of that or not, whether they wanna be aware of it or not, whether they are ready for that or not, etc. CC vs UC. So I elaborated on all those topics previously:
What matters is the people
Stuck in the mud
Inside Carmy's mind
Recycle / Repurpose
Purpuse, chef!
Never apologize
The trap
I now realize that I had missed that Storer put it out there, in plain sight in that scene above, which BTW was one of the few semi-Sydcarmy moments we were given this season, or as I call it: ALMS.
Anyway... The point is that Sydney said that what was killing them (she referred to the operation but I refer to the Sydcarmy dynamic, that's the metaphor) was the "bad communication" between FOH and BOH, in other words: between CC/UC or Conscious and Unconscious or subconscious if you will, because info always permeates from one to the other.
So this takes us back to the fact that until they don't consciously realize and put in the front of their minds THE REASON why they are doing all of this, they won't be able to communicate properly and efficiently, and therefore they will not understand each other and what's even worse, they will definitely not find in themselves the strength to carry on and to endure this battle.
Because let's face it, every day in that restaurant, chasing a star is like going to war and it would be anyway even if they were going through a honeymoon phase. Chasing a Michelin star is no easy task for anyone and it always takes its toll on the team, that is why it's so elite. Not everyone can do it. Yet everyone who has done it ends up learning the same lesson: IT CAN'T BE DONE UNLESS YOU HAVE A BIGGER PURPOSE. Some get lost along the way, and the star kills them because they never find a bigger purpose than the star/s itself as I mentioned here.
I trust Sydcarmy will find a way to make conscious of their real purpose which is obviously THEM/EACH OTHER as I mentioned in all those 7 posts above.
They are actually doing this to show how much they love each other. It's their way of showing their affection for each other. It's also how they communicate.
It would be easier to just say so and go out on a date and maybe give each other simple presents like a playlist, flowers, a cologne... but not for them. Nope. They are "special".
For her, it didn't start that way, though. It morphed into it along the way. Originally for Syd that star was some sort of personal victory and vindication after her Sheridan Rd's trauma fiasco. Later on, when she started suspecting that she may have started falling for Carmy, around the time C showed up, she had to shove that suspicion very deep into her UC, meaning, never let it out, DENY IT, because otherwise she was gonna get hurt. She's too smart and too much of an emotionally avoidant G WOMAN for that. She would never let that happen if she could avoid it prevent it.
For Carmy that was the reason from day one two, though. Right after she said that was what she wanted. But as I mentioned here, that was not his goal at first:
But this is where they are now and they should honor it and be honest about it, even get nasty if they must, ARGUE about it if that's what it takes for them to really get it. I'm sure that S4 will be all about it because they have reached the breaking point already → The crying game
Or should I say breakthrough?
Yeah, I will go for breakthrough. S4 is gonna be all about Sydcarmy. Get ready, truthers. There's no way but up from here because S3 was:
The end of Carmen Berzatto.
Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋
#the bear meta#gingerpovs#THEIR REAL PURPOSE IS NOT THE STAR IS EACH OTHER#sydcarmy#sydcarmy meta#the bear season 3#the bear#carmy berzatto#sydney adamu#carmy x sydney#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#syd x carmen#CC VS UC
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Aspirations pt. 4
Sydcarmy Masterlist
Full Masterlist
Menu planning, avoidant behaviour, protective Richie and jealous Carmy, anyone? Yes, I busted this chapter out very quickly because I couldn't wait to write it 😂 I'm happy with this one, I think. Hope you are too! Our chapter count has gone up - why tf did I think I could do this in 3?! 😅 - I'm pretty sure it's going to be 6 in total.
~~~~~~
“What’s next?” Nat asked later that day from the dining table while Syd moved the previous plate away.
“Oysters.”
“Nooo! Please no.”
“You said we could give it a shot?” Carmy looked hurt,
“I think we’re going to lose too much prep time shucking them and making them presentable.” Syd countered.
“We’ll time it. Nat, stopwatch?”
“On it. I’m kinda leaning with Syd though. Does anyone actually like them?”
“I do.” They both replied, “trust me, I know you’ll like these ones.” Syd continued.
“Show me why you can’t shuck them?” Carmy asked Syd, handing her a knife and an oyster. She looked wary but made sure the crustacean was secure in her hand and positioned the knife, “Ok, you’re going in at the wrong angle, may I?” He came close to her, head bent towards hers. She went to hand him both items but he shoo’d her hands away, “no, you’re gonna do it, Chef.” His hand covered hers, holding the oyster with her and his other hand joined hers on the knife. He changed the position of the blade and guided her to push the point of the knife into the hinge of the oyster. His hands cupped hers as they heard a small pop and the oyster opened up. “See, you did it.”
“I think you did it,” she replied softly, neither of them moving apart. Behind Syd, Nat cleared her throat.
“Aren’t these supposed to be an aphrodisiac?” She asked. Carmy sprang away from Syd.
“Uhh yeah, it’s cos they look like… well. Y’know. Anyway, you’re gonna try this and I promise you’ll like it.” Syd smiled seasoning the opened oyster with a dressing of cilantro, lime and ginger she’d already prepared and finished it off with a drizzle of sriracha. Next to her, Carmy had lined up a couple of others he'd opened up and she seasoned those as well. “Ok… so just like, swallow it whole.” She handed the small plate to Nat who held it up for a better look.
“Swallow it whole? Ok, now you’re just fucking with me cos I mentioned the whole aphrodisiac thing?” Syd shook her head,
“Nope. I swear, you gotta just go for it.” Nat and Carmy both tried theirs at the same time.
“Are you fucking real, Sydney?” He muttered, “that was insane.”
“You’ve converted me.”
“Cool. They’re still not going on the menu.” Syd laughed,
“They have to!” Nat protested.
“How about if we did it with scallops instead?” Carmy suggested, “We can’t not use this dressing, Syd.” She tried the last oyster for herself.
“Yeah… that dressing is the shit. Scallops could work. I’ll get some from the fish guy tomorrow and try it?”
“Heard, Chef.” He replied with a small smile.
“Do I still need to time you?”
“No,” Syd went to speak up as Carmy said,
“Yes, please do.” He turned to Syd, “We have some left, it’s good practice.”
“Yeah, good practice for something I’m never doing again.” She teased.
“We’ll see about that. Race?” Syd’s eyes lit up. She loved it when he was like this, and it was becoming more and more of a regular occurrence since The Bear had opened. He had the same intensity and unwavering gaze, but he was playful and mischievous. She’d finally seen him the way Nat and Richie had known him before. Quick witted - often with an under the radar dirty joke that had her, Richie and Tina sniggering into their prep work while Marcus and Gary looked bemused.
“Fucking fine. I’m going to own you, bitch.” He divided up the remaining oysters between them and handed her the knife back. He found another from the drawer,
“Doubt it, Chef. Nat, you judging? Don’t let her fuckin’ cheat.”
“You’ll pay for that Berzatto, I do not cheat.”
“Alright you two, let’s go before Pete gets back with Mikey,” Nat came to stand on the other side of the counter so she could see them both standing side by side, elbows brushing. “What’s the winner get?”
“Oysters on the fuckin’ menu.” Carmy decided.
“Nuhuh, that’s fine if you win… If I win though, I want you to make the dish I had in New York.” Confusion followed by shock crossed his face,
“Fuckin’ coming back to that after I’ve kicked your ass.”
“Please,” she scoffed, “let’s get this over with so you can cook for me again.” She rolled her eyes.
“You both ready?” Nat interrupted. “Three, two, one - go!” Syd snatched up her first oyster and, using the technique Carmy had just shown her, opened it without delay. She put each one she opened onto the plate between them, watching Carmy from the corner of her eye she guessed that he was maybe half a second ahead of her.
“Best meal I’ve ever had, y’know.” She said, watching his knife falter just briefly before he got it back under control.
“Good to know. Stop tryin’ to distract me.”
“I would never do that,” she grinned down at her oysters, taking advantage of his time slip.
“You’re always a distraction.” This time her hand stuttered. She caught herself just before the knife made contact with the palm of her hand but it was too late, she’d lost time. Carmy threw his last oyster onto the plate and dropped his knife. “Done.” Syd finished the moment he spoke.
“Ding ding! Carmen Berzatto, congratulations.” Natalie faux bowed to him. She picked up her pen, “so, oysters on the menu then?”
“Nah, we’ll do scallops instead.” He turned to Syd, “It’ll still work. We’ll do it like a -”
“Ceviche,” they said in unison.
“Thank you.” Syd acknowledged.
“Fucking weird.” Nat muttered, rolling her eyes. As she spoke, Pete came through the front door with Mikey’s stroller, “Ok, that’s my cue for a nap. See you guys in an hour. Don’t kill each other in my kitchen. Or anything else.” They dressed the oysters and cleared up before sitting down to eat.
“Mmm. Holy shit,” Syd moaned, “I’m putting this dressing on everything from now on.” “It’s fire, Chef.”
“Thank you.” They fell into a comfortable silence until, “check your plum sauce.” She reminded him.
“Fuck, yes. Thanks.” He toyed with the heat and sat back down next to her, looking over the menu. “It looks good.” He noted, nudging her slightly.
“Yeah I think so. Just the right amount of festivity.”
“Exactly. Seasonal.” She could feel his eyes on her as she made some notes for the soon-to-be scallop dish. “When were you in New York?” He asked at last.
“A long time ago. I saved up and blew everything on a few days there. Ate everywhere I wanted to.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I know you didn’t. I wasn’t lying the day I met you when I said I knew of you. That meal changed my fucking life.”
“Mine too, I guess,” he took her wrist gently and pulled her up, “here, try this?” He took her to the stove top and gathered a spoon of the plum sauce. Unable to hand it to her without it spilling, he brought it to her mouth instead. She held his gaze as he placed the spoon in her mouth. There was something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher but she could feel the heat spread from her cheeks down to her toes, could feel her thighs clench together in desperation. She was eternally grateful that she could easily hide a blush, but she was certain he could sense how her breathing changed. His fingers brushed against hers as she took the spoon from him, the taste of plum and winter spices exploding on her tongue.
“Fuck me.” She mumbled in surprise, eyes still on him. He arched an eyebrow, “the sauce. The sauce is really fucking good.” She confirmed quickly, realizing how closely they were standing.
“Doesn’t need anything?” Her eyes flicked down to his lips as she subconsciously bit her own lightly. Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest. She could feel herself leaning in unintentionally, her body automatically seeking him out. From his pocket, his phone rang and she turned on her heel instead and took the spoon to the sink with a shake of her head,
“Doesn’t need anything.” She maintained as he let the phone ring, still watching her. “You gonna get that?”
“It’s Claire.” He said, a little sadly. She nodded,
“You should take it. I’m gonna get some air.” She picked up the nearest outer layer, his sweater from earlier in the morning, and slipped out of the front door as she heard him answer,
“Hey babe,” She closed the door with a quiet click behind her and sat on the front door step with her head in her hands. What the fuck was she doing? What the fucking fuck was she fucking doing? She took deep breaths but all it did was remind her of earlier in the morning, wrapped in his arms with his hand on her back and hers on his heart. The heart he’d all but given to someone else. She needed to get a grip before she did something really fucking stupid. Co-workers did not share beds and spoons and eye fuck each other over a plum fucking sauce. She twisted her braids into a bun and secured it, welcoming the cool air on the back of her neck. She shouldn’t have picked up his damn sweater again, he was invading her senses in every single way and it was all becoming too much. She wasn’t sure how much distance she could keep anymore, he just kept drawing her in. She heard the door click again and he sat next to her. “You good?” He asked. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Surely he’d felt it too? Was he just as affected, or was she imagining it? She cleared her throat,
“This needs to stop.” She said firmly, not bothering to confirm what this was.
“Yeah,” he agreed.
“Yeah.” She got up, went back inside and tried to keep herself from falling back into his orbit for the rest of the day.
*
It had been weeks. Syd maintained an appropriate distance at all times. She tried to keep someone between them, took a full step back from her station whenever he came over to taste her dishes, tried to look anywhere except at him. It was fucking hard. Her eyes were drawn to him in every room, every time. She sought him out even when she didn’t mean to. And fuck she missed him. She occasionally wondered if he was finding it just as difficult, but pushed it to the back of her mind. They weren’t doing anything differently, she reasoned. They were still friends, still co-workers, still partners. She took a plate of pasta into Natalie in the office, Nat looked up at her in concern,
“Hey, you ok honey?”
“All good, Chef.”
“You just seem a little… distant recently?”
“Just getting on with work.” At that, Richie burst into the office,
“Syd, if he asks, you gotta say no.” She looked bemused.
“Say no to who?”
“The fish guy. The pot wash at the taco place said he wants to ask you out.”
“The fuck? Why are you getting your information from the pot wash at the taco place?”
“We smoke together, trade intel.”
“About me?”
“About everything, Syd. Jeez, focus! The fish guy wants to ask you out, but you gotta say no - ok?”
“Not ok, Richie - why should she say no?” Nat stepped in,
“Cos he’s a fuckin’ dickbag that’s why!”
“Who’s a dickbag?” Carmy asked, coming in and dropping into a chair.
“The fish guy.”
“Oh fuck yeah, he’s a fuckin’ dickbag. Why do we give a shit though?” He asked, dragging a hand through his hair.
“Cousin, he wants to ask Syd out, I gotta warn her off him.”
“He wants to do what?”
“I know, right? Fuck that. He’ll lose his fuckin’ teeth if he tries.” Said Richie, still affronted that he wasn’t being taken seriously. Nat and Syd exchanged glances.
“Look, if Syd wants to say yes then she can say yes -”
“But -”
“But nothing. You will both just get your heads out of your asses and leave this the fuck alone, do you hear me?” She warned them.
“Syd, he’s a fuckin’ dickbag.” Carmy said, his voice low, something unrecognizable in his tone.
“Surely that’s for me to decide?”
“Woah, what’s happening here?” Claire squeezed into the room which was now at full capacity.
“Ugh,” Nat groaned, “these two are being ridiculous. The fish guy wants to ask Syd out -”
“Well, that’s good?” Claire asked,
“No it’s fucking not.” Richie and Carmy replied in unison.
“He’s a dickbag.” Carmy muttered.
“A total fucking bag of fucking dicks.”
“Can we stop with the phrase dickbag, please?” Nat pleaded.
“Look, I appreciate the concern guys, but I am capable of deciding for myself whether to date someone. I don’t… I don’t get why we have five fucking people in this office getting into my personal life?” Syd held her hands up.
“He’s not after a date,” Richie grumbled. “He’s after a quick fuck. Does it all the time at all the restaurants in town.”
“S’true.” Carmy confirmed, looking at his hands.
“He ‘dates’ these women for a while and then just fuckin’ ditches them. Waitresses, chefs, fuckin’ anyone who’ll say yes.”
“Have you considered that that might suit Syd?” Nat asked. Syd caught her eye and frowned with a small shake of her head, Nat shrugged.
“Syd’s better than that,” Carmy said, “you’re better than that.” He finally looked up at her, still standing by the desk.
“Again, that’s for me to decide.” She pointed out.
“I think you guys are, like, really invested in Sydney’s sex life. Don’t you think that’s a bit weird?” Claire asked.
“No.” Richie and Carmy replied together, again.
“Yes it is, actually.” Syd agreed with Claire. “Neither of you should care who I’m dating or fucking or whatever the fuck I’m doing in my spare time.”
“We’re looking out for you, cuz!” Richie’s voice rose again. She didn’t have time to pause when she noticed Richie call her cousin,
“This is a really weird way of looking out for me, Richie.” She suggests, “all I have to go on is that he’s a dickbag who dates around a lot?” She saw Carmy shoot Richie a look,
“Well, yeah - isn’t that fucking enough?”
“Richie, you sound jealous! Do you want to date Syd?” Claire teased.
“Fuck, no!” Carmy and Richie both shouted. “No offense,” Richie followed up.
“Ok, this is getting really fucking stupid. The guy hasn’t asked me out, I haven’t even seen him for weeks, and I have no idea what I’d say if he did ask me, ok? You,” she pointed at them both, “do not get to tell me who I can date or who I can fuck, understood?” Syd glared.
“Yes, Chef.” Richie mumbled. She looked at Carmy, his face unreadable.
“Carmy?” Claire asked on Syd’s behalf,
“Yeah, of course. Nothing to do with me, right?” He asked with a shrug, anger creeping into his voice.
“Cool, so now that we’ve established that Syd’s free to date whoever she wants, we getting out of here for a couple of hours?” Claire asked Carmy, rolling her eyes with a smile to Syd and Nat.
“Sure, I’ll just get my stuff. Meet you out front?”
“Yeah. Uhh… great catch up, guys. Syd, good luck!”
“Yeah, thanks. See ya, Claire.” They all waited for the sound of the swing door before speaking again.
“This is really fucked up.” Nat muttered, digging into her pasta. “Not this, this is gorgeous. This pair of fuckos.” She pointed with her fork at Carmy and Richie.
“I’m outta here for a bit,” Carmy made his way to the lockers and Syd followed.
“The fuck was that?” She hissed, aware of Richie and Nat in the office.
“Nothin’. Like you said, s’not my place to tell you who you can date.” He shoved his arms into his jacket, “or fuck. Right?” He added, his voice laced with anger.
“Correct. Because you have a girlfriend, remember? A friend who is a girl? So you shouldn’t care what I do.”
“Or who?” She glared at him. She tried to disguise her hurt with anger, but she couldn’t stop the stray tear on her cheek,
“Fuck you, Carmy.” She jabbed his chest. “Fuck. You.” She spat out, full of venom. He stilled, leaned into her hand.
“Yeah. Sure, Syd. Fuck me.” He reached up to brush the tear away with his thumb and slipped past her to Claire. She hesitated before going back to the office, trying to get her emotions under control so she didn’t cry in front of Richie or Nat.
“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Richie started as she walked back in. “Fuck, sorry. Can I call you sweetheart?” She nodded a little.
“S’ok. I know you meant to fucking protect me or some shit, I get it.” He met her forehead with his own,
“Yeah. But I was an asshole and I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, Richie.”
“Please say no if he asks you. I’m too fuckin’ old to be fightin’ toddlers in the fuckin’ street, huh?” She offered a brief smile.
“I’ll bear it in mind.”
“Ok. I gotta fuckin’ burn one. That shit was awkward as hell when Claire came in and Carmy was making fucking goo-goo eyes at you.”
“Fuck off Rich.” He laughed, patted her shoulder sympathetically and made for the back doors. Syd sat heavily in the chair Carmy had sat in, and slumped down while Nat quietly finished her pasta.
“You ok?” She asked.
“Not really.” She rubbed her hands over her face with a big sigh.
“So you guys are just going to… what? Either be ignoring or fighting each other for the foreseeable future?”
“I guess so.” Syd shrugged, anger building again. “He has no right to tell me who I can date.”
“I know.”
“It’s nothing to do with him. Nothing at all to do with him.”
“I agree.”
“Whatever the problem is, it’s his problem to fix. Not mine.”
“I hear you.”
“What do I do, Nat?”
“You live your life, babe. You do whatever the hell you want and he can go to fuck.”
“Yeah. Yes. You’re right. It’s nothing to do with him.” Syd nodded.
~~~~~
#the bear fanfiction#the bear fx#the bear#the bear fanfic#syd adamu#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#syd x carmy#syd x carmen#carmen x sydney#carmy x syd#carmy x sydney#sydcarmy#sydney and carmy#sydney x carmen#sydney x carmy
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okay sydney spending every dollar she had to try food in NYC is so on brand. it's wonderful but like dang girl
the best meal she's ever had!! i wonder if it was risotto or something and that's why she's so keen on it?
the difference between syd waiting with bated breath when carmy tries her stuff and her just eating while marcus does though
carmy's back in his white tshirt -- does this boy own anything other than 12 identical white tshirts and one (1) navy sweater?
"yo jeff" "yo what's up, t" "...chef" oh tina's trying carmy's thing!! and it worked!!
he looks really touched at tina momming him a bit
oh. nope not touched at tina momming him. he's staring because she's dressed like syd
went back and rewatched that, he turns to her, his eyes drop to the apron, and they get all big and round and then he has this tiny, tired smile, and says "you're dressed like syd" with his voice choked and almost breaking
this
this is when the subtext has become text.
it's not that it's explicitly romantic at that point, and carmy probably won't get it for at least another season, (and he won't get out of denial for at least a half season after that,) but the "you're dressed like syd" with so much emotion? that's for the audience, that's for us to know that even though The Beef survived the Day from Hell, survived without Cicero breaking Carmy's legs, survived Richie getting knifed -- Tina's just dressed like any other person who works there, she's wearing the uniform, but in Carmy's mind, the person who represents the Beef to him? that's sydney
also tina's little "hm : 3" when he says that? i love you tina
this scene with Carmy and Tina is beautiful. he's gotten one-on-one time with pretty much every Important character, and each time it's been one of my favorite scenes. carmy shines in absolute kitchen chaos and in one-on-one conversation, so i'm always happy when we get these
what on earth was KBL and why was Mikey paying them...richie might know?
#the bear#liveblogging#this episode is like a breath of fresh air after the last#also i love tina more tina please#and i want syd to come back. marcus too but marcus owes an Apology so#i mean so does syd let's be very real but marcus owes it though i don't need to see it
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Who’s Ruth? I thought it was Syd dancing in front of him
Nope I went back and double checked anon was right it’s Ruth.
I always thought Sydney as well.
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What do the ROs families think about them being on the show?
Body Count has a pretty tight non-disclosure agreement, so even if they know that they’re away filming a show, most of the ROs haven’t told their families the specifics of the show that they’re taking part in.
Griff’s sisters actually submitted the application on his behalf, so they are probably the family that knows the most about what’s going on. They wouldn’t have given it too much of a thorough read, though - they’d have seen the chance for love and money and just gone for it hahaha.
Florrie, Ellis and Adegoke have all warned their families that they’re going away to film a reality show, but didn’t give too many specifics.
Arthur, Atticus, Rowan and Syd all routinely travel for work and just told their families that they were gonna be out of touch for a while for that reason, but didn’t give any more specifics than that. Rowan and Atticus planned to give full details when they got home (or take steps to make sure their families never found out, depending on how things went hahaha).
Nyra and Vinh didn’t tell their parents – they knew that it wouldn’t be well received, so they’re going for an “ask for forgiveness, not for permission” kind of approach. Nyra’s hoping that coming home with the money will soften the blow, at least.
Imogen doesn’t speak to her family, so she didn’t tell them anything.
Do any of the families know where they are? Nope. Do any of them know how long they’ll be gone for? Nope. Do any of them know the details of their contracts? Nope.
#ch: griff#ch: florrie#ch: ellis#ch: adegoke#ch: arthur#ch: atticus#ch: rowan#ch: syd#ch: nyra#ch: vinh#ch: imogen#evil laugh tag
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detention and the picture of dorian gray. | s.b
pair: f!reader x stanley barber
warnings: language, the word "slut" being used, mentions of food, weed in use. word count: 1.8k summary: y/n gets detention because she refused to change into something else. she then meet stanley barber, the king of breaking uniform himself.
a/n: big thanks to liane my love for helping me with this fic 😩👩❤️💋👩 (@amourtentiaa). tags: @nothinghcppens @eunoniaa @isolemnlyswearpevensie @aspiringsloth20 @thatslovelymoony @amourtentiaa @vsawyer1989 @fives-cup-of-coffee
Y/N SAT QUIETLY IN MRS. JEFFERSON'S ENGLISH CLASS AS SHE PLAYED WITH THE EDGE OF HER SKIRT. she had gotten this plaid skirt from her aunt the other day. she usually doesn't go for skirts but this skirt just looked too cute to pass on.
she let out a yawn, glancing at the clock. she moved her gaze to her friend syd with a small smile. the girls were planning on getting milkshakes after school, and y/n was excited to leave school.
the bell rung and y/n got up as fast as she could, grabbing her backpack and pencil, heading for the door. syd was taking her time gathering her stuff, so y/n got to the door faster than her.
"ms. l/n, you know that skirt is against dress code?" mrs. jefferson eyed y/n, judgement in her expression. y/n narrowed her eyes on the teacher, knitting her eyebrows.
"since when are skirts against dress code?" y/n replied coolly, as syd let out a small chuckle.
mrs. jefferson's eyes widened as she got up. "it's short. a distraction, if you will. you should try wearing something modest. i'll get you a slip so you can call your mother-"
"excuse me? modest? well sorry to break it to you, mrs. jefferson, modest isn't-"
"how dare you interrupt me? detention!" mrs. jefferson bickered as y/n rolled her eyes, as syd watched in amusement. the teacher gave her a slip, and watched as the girls walked out.
"whatever, and i'm not changing." y/n rolled her eyes in annoyance as her and syd walked down the hallway to their next class.
Y/N WALKED IN THE GYM WITH CROSSED ARMS AND A PINCHED EXPRESSION. she saw there was only two other people there - stanley barber (the king of breaking dress code) and jenny tuffield. she was a few minutes late, but she needed to use the restroom.
she sat down near stanley with a huff and put her backpack directly next to her. she tapped her foot as she waited for something to happen, for someone to talk.
jenny finally sighed and faced the two. "so, why're you both here? you seem like . . . goody two shoes."
y/n narrowed her eyes on the girl, "mrs. jefferson called me a slut, basically."
"a slut?" stanley choked out with a laugh, causing the girls to glare at him. "w-why? you're not a slut,"
"because my skirt is short." y/n let out a groan, and rolled her eyes at the mere thought of mrs. jefferson calling her skirt short. it wasn't short! and plus, she has shorts under it anyway.
"yeah mrs. jefferson is a sour old bitch who was way to much free time on her hands." jenny nods in agreement with another loud sigh, laying her head on the bench behind her. "what about you?"
"um, didn't do my homework," stanley said as y/n nodded along to his words.
"well, that sucks." y/n states as she gave him a small smile. she expected him to might've broken dress code or something, but it was something else.
the principal walked into the gym with a angry expression, as if to scare them. jenny didn't move her, instead she stared at the principal.
"you kids are here today because you disrespected teachers," he eyed y/n. "or didn't do what you were supposed to do. you are to clean this whole gym. and i will be checking it after." he seemed done with our bullshit, so he sighed and left the gym, "don't fool around, i will know."
"he doesn't actually check, i've been in detention a million times and i haven't done a single thing." jenny whispered with a smirk, turning her body to face us. "so . . ."
"so," stanley echoed, looking around the gym. y/n was not going to clean the entire gym, but the others didn't seem like they wanted to talk at all. she took out a book for her reading class, opening it. stanley took out a rubik's cube.
jenny yawned and took her bag, getting up and walking to the bathroom. stanley glanced at y/n with an interest etched in his expression. "what are you reading?"
y/n turned her head to stanley, "um, the picture of dorian gray. it's for mr. white's class."
stanley nodded with a smile. "do you like it? what page are you on?" he moved closer to y/n, looking onto the book with her.
"192, i'm pretty much in the middle. it's nice, but i probably wouldn't read it on my own. i don't read the classics unless i have to, i prefer modern romance - or like, greek mythology."
"oh, that's nice. i like comics more than books, i don't think i have a good enough attention span to read an actual book, y'know?" stanley spoke as y/n nodded along.
"same here, i guess it depends on the book." y/n smiled. "do you think the principle will actually come check on us?"
stanley shook his head, "uhh, no! why would he? plus, i'm sure jenny was right. who'd take the time out of their day . . . and use it to check if a bunch of kids cleaned an entire gym?"
y/n laughed as stanley smiled. "you're right." an awkward silence fell between the two as they looked around the gym. y/n decided she needed to use the restroom, so she put the bookmark in the book and got up. "bathroom,"
stanley smiled awkwardly and nodded. "u-uhh, have fun!"
y/n laughed and nodded, walking down the stands and walking to the door. she opened the heavy door, walking into the bathroom. she looked for any sign of jenny after a few seconds of silence, but there was no sign.
y/n scoffed, "bitch!" she quickly washed her hands before walking out of the bathroom. stanley was laying on the bench, playing with the rubik's cube.
"stanley, jenny left!" y/n crossed her arms walking up to the boy. stanley sat up, scoffing. "should we . . . ditch too? i mean, jenny did. why shouldn't we?"
"yeah, sure," stanley breathed out. he took his backpack, and gave y/n's hers. he grabbed her book, handing it to her. "where are we going?"
y/n smiled as she took the book and put the book in her backpack. "we should get milkshakes, at that diner."
stanley nodded and got up from the stands. "okay, let's go!"
y/n let out a laugh, walking beside stanley.
THEY WERE FINALLY ON THE MAIN ROAD, WALKING TO THE DINER. y/n lead the way, as stan was a few steps behind. "don't you have a car, stanley?"
he nodded, "i didn't drive it here today. my dad's home, so -"
"oh," y/n nodded knowingly. "you don't have a good relationship with your dad?" this was definitely not something you ask when you first meet someone, but if the shoe fits, the shoe fits.
he walked next to y/n, "yeah nope. i hate him." he paused, "well i don't really hate him, he's my dad. you can't ever really hate your dad, y'know?"
y/n nodded. "makes sense. dads aren't too great, if we're being honest."
he laughed with a nod, "yup, they suck. dads, who needs 'em?"
"yeah, as long as you have a good few friends and a good hangout place, you're good to go. that's what my aunt says," y/n smiled as stanley nods.
"well, she's right." stanley says with as he looked ahead. "i like your skirt, it isn't slutty. it's cute,"
y/n's face went red as she awkwardly laughed, "thanks. i like your jacket,"
he faced her with a smile, "thanks. i found it at the thrift store . . . pretty sure it's like, older than my grandpa. but i washed it! so we're all good."
"vintage and hand me down clothing is cuter, if we're being honest. if it has history, it's better." y/n spoke as stanley nodded along.
"yeah," stanley agreed as he took out a tin with weed, taking one out and offering one to her. "want one?"
y/n has never had weed before, and she's never thought she'd ever agree to smoke . . . especially in public. she nodded and took it from his hand. "i've never smoked weed before, i've vaped before-"
"vaping is nothing like weed, y/n. it is amazing," stanley winked at the girl, giving her a lighter. "do you know how?"
"you just inhale and exhale, right?" y/n whispered as she looked the weed.
"let me do it first," stanley says as you handed it back to him. he placed it in his mouth, and lit it slowly. he inhaled and took it out, and slowly blew it out. "here,"
y/n takes it and copies his actions - inhaling and slowly exhaling. she coughed out loudly, as stanley laughed loudly. "how'd i do?" y/n coughed out.
"you did good, uh, for your first time." stanley smiled as y/n rolled her eyes playfully.
"just say i did horribly and get it over with," y/n said in a joking manner as stanley shook his head.
"you did good! i promise," stanley laughed. "you want some more?" he took a long draw before handing her the blunt. she nodded, taking it. she a small draw, and this time she didn't cough as hard. "now that one, was good."
"i thought my first one was good!" y/n laughed loudly as stanley smiles.
"that one was better!" stanley spoke as she nodded. she handed him the blunt, and he took another draw. "you didn't cough, that's good."
they went back and forth with it, and soon enough, they were on their forth blunt and were very high. they decided not to go to the diner, but instead, a park.
it was around 6 pm, and they were on a bench. stanley had his head on y/n's shoulder as they talked. "so, you're dad's like . . . gone most of the time?"
he nodded. "yup, it's all good until he decides he wants to come home."
"i'm really sorry, stan. your dad doesn't deserve you,"
he looked up at her from her shoulder. "yeah, i can't wait til i can go to college, away from him. it'll be the best day of my life." y/n nodded, as they kept looking up at they sun setting. "hey y/n, do you . . . do you think there's like, a genuine meaning to life?"
"maybe. i-i don't think there is a genuine meaning to life." she paused as stanley looked up at her. "i think you have to create your meaning. if you think about it, nothing ever matters until you make it matter. your life can have a million meanings or one. it's your life, only yours."
she looked down at stan, "what do you think?"
"i think you're high off your mind right now, y/n. but uh, that was beautiful." he laughed as y/n scoffed.
"thank you,"
"we should get going, now." stanley sighed as he lifted his head from her shoulder. "let me walk you home."
"yeah," she sighed as she got up. "want some perfume? because uh, we smell like weed,"
he laughed. "nope, i'm fine. my dad'll think i have a girlfriend or something."
y/n smiled as they started walking. "we should hang out more."
he nodded, "sure. let's do that."
#stanley barber#sydney novak#i am not okay with this#ianowt#stanley barber x reader#stanley barber x f!reader#syds fics
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Get Out - Review
Jordan Peele went hard with this one tbh. This is one of the first horror films in a while to actually make me feel terror. Spoilers warning but I feel like most people have either seen this film by now or know what it's about. If you haven't seen it please go watch it before you read this post because it's a really good film and you should definitely watch all of Jordan Peele's films.
The most terrifying aspect of this film (as a white person) is the horrid concept of 'The Sunken Place'. A lot like in Possessor (see my other review for more on that film) the idea of being trapped in a body and having no control over what is happening genuinely terrifies me.
Peele's use of visuals is incredible, especially when considering the Sunken Place and how it feels to be in it. The Armitages as villains are really good especially Rose who goes from a very sympathetic character to someone who you genuinely dispise.
The ending of the film brings together the subplot incredibly well and also reinforces something I read in Screenplay by Syd Field that the auidence always perfers a 'happy' ending.
I don't really have much to say about this film as its really good it's second in my Jordan Peele tier list after Nope. I love you Jordan Peele!
#jordan peele#get out#film#film review#film stills#filmmaking#movie review#movie stills#cinema#cinematography#films
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ok so me and syd were hanging out with our dad and i guess nope got bored or something and grabbed a bag of chocolates that was sitting on the table and went and stood on the stairs till i noticed, then it ran the rest of the way upstairs and i ran after, that bitch locked skyself in the bathroom with the bag of chocolates still at hand, and when i told fir to unlock the door, syd just slid chocolates under the door. again and again. i counted thirteen chocolates slid under the door to me, i put them in my skirt which does not have pockets grabbed the bag and took everything back downstairs
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Asgard Academy
Year 1: Part III
[ Index ]
xxxxxxxxx
In very out-of-character fashion, Fenrir overslept, and was now making his way to the Academy by foot. Near the riverside park, he heard some ringing in the distance, but all the fuss around him made it difficult to focus. So many people were going about their business at this time, he already felt exhausted. Half an hour early; that is all it took to have a nice, quiet trip to school, but not today.
The ringing became louder and louder, and closer, and when Fenrir turned around to find where it was coming from, something flew right past him. It stopped a few meters away.
"’Morning!" Artica exclaimed, resting the weight of her bike on one foot. "Didn’t know you took this path to school.”
Bud, who hadn't noticed Artica stopped, was just coming up to them. “True, never seen you on this route before.”
Fenrir rubbed his neck, feeling somewhat awkward. When he accepted Artica’s friendship offer, he didn’t really consider that it also meant interacting with those around her more often, and something about this classmate made him feel uneasy. Maybe because he always looked so confident, while Fenrir himself rarely felt that way.
“I usually take the train but overslept today and missed it. Waiting for the next one will make me late for sure.”
“Huh, I didn’t know there was an earlier train… but then again, I don’t feel like waking up earlier,” Bud replied. “Anyway, let’s get going, or we’re gonna be late either way.”
“Alright, hop on,” Artica said, facing her bicycle forward once again.
“Sorry?”
“Hop on! It’ll be faster than walking!”
“Your bike is not fit for that.”
“Yeah, it is! Just step on those metal bars next to the back wheel’s center and hold onto my shoulders. Gimme your bag, I’ll put it in the basket with mine.”
Fenrir did not reply, a slight frown on his face.
“Ok, fine, I’ll put my own bag on, and you can grab onto that. C’mon!”
The kid from up north wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was unadvisable, not to mention contrary to etiquette, as well as unsafe. And yet, he found himself passing over his bag, letting her get some impulse, and then hopping on. A few seconds of unsteadiness later, he was grabbing her bag tightly as she sped up and then maintained Bud’s speed.
“Atta boy!” Artica cheered loudly. “It’s not so bad, right?”
Fenrir, who had been going to school by himself for months, couldn’t help smiling. “Not bad at all.”
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Artica closed the door and walked over to the bench, waiting patiently as Syd cleaned the piano keys.
“Before anything else, I must ask,” he said, looking her straight in the eye. “Are you dating my brother?”
“Nope,” the girl answered easily, unconcerned.
“Okay, cool. We can move on then.”
“Nope,” she repeated. “We can’t. Why do you ask that?”
Syd was an expert keeping his cool and didn’t even bat an eyelash. “Well, it is crystal clear you are very close. I just wondered how close, that is all.”
Artica scratched her chin, thinking. “Hm, no, that’s not it, is it? You're asking on someone else’s behalf.”
Syd's expertise suddenly imploded as he fumbled nervously at her words. “P-pardon? Where do you get that idea from?”
“Last time, you said you didn’t ‘wish to dig around like that’, and I believe you, so someone else is behind that question.”
In his mind, Syd cursed. He’d observed them for a few months now and was well aware of how both Bud and Artica were always on their guard, hyperattentive even, when interacting with their Blue peers. His question had been too sloppy, and too straight forward. And she picked up on it immediately.
“I’ll take your silence as a ‘yes’,” she went on. “Whoever it is, tell them to have courage, and strike first. He’ll appreciate a bold move.”
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
"How about the café on the boulevard?"
"Rúri, sweetie, you always have the most fantastic suggestions," Karianne complimented her. "Miss Reynirdóttir, would you care to join us?"
Artica froze on the spot, almost dropping her books, slowly turning around with the expression of a deer about to be devoured by bears. "I beg your pardon, my lady?"
"It would be a great pleasure if you would accompany us for a cup of tea and maybe some pastries," Rúri added.
Even though the thought of it was nerve-wracking, the Black could not think of a way or reason to refuse. It would be unwise, though, to risk these Blues taking offense. She gave them a bow. "It would be my honor, my ladies."
It was a short walk from the Academy to the boulevard; the Blues chit chatted all the way, but Artica did not have the confidence to join. Once inside, a table was prepared immediately in a cozy corner decorated with (fake) tropical-like plants. Everything in the menu looked delicious, and expensive.
Karianne made a hand gesture. "Order whatever you wish, Miss Reynirdóttir, it will be my treat."
"N-no, my lady. You are most kind, yet I must refuse."
"Nonsense. During our school trip, you did not hesitate to back up Mister Sanfridsson and safeguard my wellbeing. It may have been to prevent him from being sanctioned, but I appreciate it all the same. I insist, please order to your heart's desire."
Even though Artica just wanted a regular coffee and a small croissant, both Blues ensured the final order was much grander than that. After a few minutes, a parade of tarts, cookies, cupcakes, and other pastries was delivered. Her coffee was also upgraded to a beautifully decorated cappuccino. Unsure on what to try first, she took one of the tartlets. It tasted like heaven.
After that, it was easier for Artica to join Rúri and Karianne in conversation. She’d been wrong to think of them as pretentious, considering they were just like her; teenagers trying to keep up with their daily struggles.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
“What’s up, ‘Silver-Eyed Hawk’?”
There was a short silence. Boreal was flabbergasted. “What did you just call me?”
“You never said they called you that at the Academy,” Artica replied with an audible smirk.
“Of course not, it’s embarrassing! It came out of an idiot’s mouth and the other students from the Archery club kept using it until I graduated. Ugh.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s embarrassing. A senior’s been calling me 'Hawkling' ever since he figured out I’m your sister. It is catching on with the other Archery club members.”
“UGH! It was Sigurdsson’s little brother, wasn’t it?” he asked, immediately annoyed. “So much alike, those assholes. Don’t talk to him.”
At her laugh, Boreal let out a sigh. The last time they got a call from Asgard, it was their father passing on the horrifying news that Artica was attacked by a dog. He was grateful this time it was just a catching-up session. “How’s school going?”
“Meh, it’s not too bad, I guess. I have exactly zero free time.”
Boreal chuckled. “Yeah, well, you knew what you were signing up for, so you can’t complain. What about your classmates? Seniors?”
“Mostly fine. Some are really nice! And those who aren't… belong to another class, so it’s manageable.”
“Good. Don’t take shit from anyone, though. Give them a piece of your mind, in etiquette-appropriate ways, of course.”
“Boreal,” an annoyed voice chastised him from behind. “Don’t encourage that!”
“C’mon, P! You know how bitchy they can be at the Acad-”
She snatched the phone out of his hands. “Little sis, I’m glad to hear you are doing well. Keep up your good work, but don’t forget to rest, okay? We all know what overworking looks like in the family.”
“Hey!”
“Thanks, I will. What? Oh, sure, Ma, sorry. Polar was just telling me to flip the finger at everyone in the Academy. Take care, P! Here’s Ma.”
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Bud walked with his hands in his pockets, side-eyeing the person a few paces behind him. Artica asked him to invite a classmate to the arcade after school. The catch was that it could not be someone they were already friends with. Her logic was that they needed more than acquaintances if they hoped to survive at the Academy until graduation, and there was little to argue there.
He, however, decided to cut himself some slack and spoke to the kid from up north. After all, just because Artica had explicitly become Fenrir’s friend, it didn’t mean Bud had and was, therefore, meeting her requirements without too much effort. Bonus points to Fenrir for not saying a word since they left school.
Bud couldn’t help smirking at his own cleverness, until he heard two familiar voices close by. One he always welcomed, the other he did not. Around the corner, in the middle of avid chit chat, were Artica and that guy.
“Oh, hey!” she greeted, and immediately noticed the daggers in Bud’s eyes.
“Good afternoon,” Syd added, also aware of Bud’s gaze.
“A word,” the older twin snapped at Artica, dragging her several meters away.
Fenrir and Syd were left standing outside the arcade. The younger twin politely cleared his throat.
“I do not believe we have had the chance to properly introduce ourselves, my lord. My name is Syd Baldreksson, it is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.”
“The pleasure is mine, my lord,” Fenrir replied with a slight frown. “Fenrir Ylfingrsson.”
While they were busy with introductions, Bud was fully concerned with chewing Artica out for her audacity. “Why did you bring him?!”
“I understand why you are mad-”
“I’m FURIOUS!”
“I understand,” she repeated, almost with a groan. Bud was even more annoyed by how calm she sounded. “Your Dad and I were talking the other day, and-”
“Don’t bring him into this!”
“And I thought that maybe if you would just talk to the guy, you could organize your feelings about the whole thing a little better.”
He couldn’t think of what to reply just yet, so Artica continued.
“It’s just… I understand this is bothersome, but it feels like even you don’t know why, and…”
“... and what?”
“And it’s eating away at both of your hearts,” she finished, her hand on his shoulder. “If you don’t wanna talk to him after today, I promise not to bring it up ever again. Just this once, though, would you acknowledge he exists?”
Bud was so tense, his neck already felt stiff. He let out a deep, annoyed, tired sigh and combed through his hair with one hand. “I- Alright. Just this once! And you owe me, you insolent brat. I want your share of the homemade dessert your Dad brought the other day!”
“I accept that request,” Artica nodded, appalled at how high the price she had to pay.
They returned to the other two. Bud was clearly annoyed, his right eye with a spasm, as he pulled Artica’s long braid. “So, you are joining us today, Baldreksson.”
“My lord,” she added right away, feeling like a chastised child at the pull.
There was a hint of… something in Syd’s eyes after hearing Bud address him directly. “No, please, let’s not trouble ourselves with etiquette for today.”
“What? You could’ve said that 10 minutes ago,” Fenrir interrupted, clearly unamused.
Syd let out a quiet chuckle before apologizing. Artica cleared her throat. “I believe we have all now been introduced to each other?”
The boys nodded. Fenrir scratched his chin in a pondering gesture. “So, you two really are twins.”
“It’s kinda obvious.”
“Yeah, I mean, I do have working eyeballs, thank you. I meant that they are, despite having different surnames. I’ve been meaning to ask you about it, but we haven’t been alone in a while…”
In an almost identical gesture, Syd raised both eyebrows with amusement, while Bud only raised one with suspicion. The spasm in Bud’s eye jumped to Artica’s left one as she grabbed Fenrir by the back of his shirt’s collar. “One of these days, you’re gonna make me kick your ass.”
“That’s not very friendly of you,” he replied as she dragged him inside the arcade.
The twins were left alone for exactly 10 seconds, and during that time, Bud decided to give his brother the benefit of the doubt. For now.
“Well? Let’s go play some games, Baldreksson.”
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Rúri drank her tea in silence.
Syd had been talking for 40 minutes straight, and it didn’t seem he was going to stop anytime soon, but that was perfectly alright with her. Ever since they started at the Academy, he hadn’t been in the best of spirits, as the one thing he wanted appeared to be so close, and yet remained so distant. Their own attempts had all been rejected instantly, and the only reason why the latest worked was because of Syd's greatest quality: kindness.
He was kind to someone, and unexpectedly, that someone repaid him with interest.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Bud closed the door as quietly as possible. After all, it was quite late already. He left his boots at the entrance and wandered towards the kitchen when a voice called out to him from the living room. “So~ How did it go?”
Artica was on the couch, wrapped on a blanket reading one of the same old books she frequently borrowed from the bookstore in the Lower Market. Bud took off his coat and left it on a chair while taking a seat next to her. “Good. Great, actually! Smoother than I thought.”
“Yeah? Did she take you somewhere fancy?”
“Sorta, first to a café on the boulevard. We talked a lot about nothing in particular, and then we went to the movie.”
Artica wiggled her eyebrows up and down. Bud let out a cackle. “No, too risky. She did lean into me; I just hope it wasn’t because she was falling asleep during the flick. Anyway, then we went to the arcade.”
“The arcade?” she replied, surprised. “She doesn’t strike me as the type.”
“I thought the same. I said it outta habit and was surprised when Karianne immediately said yes. For her first time, she really kicked my ass in the motorcycle simulation!”
“Oh, I bet. Probably the same skills as horseback riding. I’m glad it went well!” Artica said, fist-bumping him. “Just don’t forget about me when you join the Academy’s most popular gang along with her, the Princess and Sigurdsson.”
“I wish. Everyone’s gonna be after me if this becomes serious. Might die unexpectedly.”
“Shame. I’ll make sure you wear your favorite sneakers during your wake.”
“You always knew me best,” Bud nodded with a laugh.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Her curly hair had the color of copper, and her olive-green eyes reminded him of the winter forests. She came closer with a serene smile. They both made a short bow.
“Good morning, my lord. Thank you for humoring me.”
“Good morning, my lady. It is I who is grateful for your invitation,” Fenrir said, moderating his tone in the way that etiquette dictated from him. “I am new to Central Asgard, therefore many corners still remain a mystery to me.”
“Is that so?” the girl asked with a hint of fake surprise. “Shall we go, then?”
He nodded and allowed her to lock her arm with his while walking. The Street Market was exactly what its name suggested; a long succession of stalls that offered all imaginable products, from food to clothing, and beyond. Levina gracefully explained the history of the neighborhood and how it had come to be part of the economic development of the capital.
From time to time, she would point to a certain stall and, after talking to whoever managed it, invite Fenrir to the store behind it to see further inventory. So far, they had browsed equestrian equipment, tailored suits, imported vintage wine, exquisite Asgardian artwork, and jewelry. Even after a few hours, they barely managed to reach the middle of the street. The stalls further down seemed less bright and more populated.
“Oh, look at the time, my lord!” Levina exclaimed, looking at her wristwatch. “Should we get lunch? At the café we passed earlier, perhaps?”
“Of course, my lady, I am at your leisure,” he replied, slightly impressed at how subtle she had been about not moving forward down the street. They shared a plate of roasted lamb and rosemary, along with some other dishes Fenrir tasted out of politeness, not really interested. After a cup of coffee, they finally said goodbye to each other with a bow and a last polite exchange.
Fenrir waited until she was out of sight to let out an exhausted sigh and start walking to his house by following the riverside. He eventually reached the park and even though he wasn’t really looking for anyone, it surprised him to see a familiar face sitting on a bench under the shade of a big tree. Fenrir came closer before realizing it.
“Hey.”
Artica looked up from her book. “Oh, hi! Fancy meeting you here. Running some errands?”
He lowered his eyes, tired. “No, a girl from school invited me to visit the Street Market today.”
“That was nice of her,” she said, aware it was probably more than that, but everyone had to take their shot. She gestured for him to take a seat. “What did you think of all the quirky stands in the Lower Market?”
“We stayed in the Upper Market.”
“Oh, right,” Artica subtly rolled her eyes, and a conversation with her father popped into her mind. “Say, there’s a hunting gear shop in the Upper Market, right? I’ve heard it only sells top-of-the-line items!”
“Uh, probably. I wasn’t paying attention…” Fenrir couldn’t help noticing. “You’ve never been to the Upper Market?”
“N-no, I haven’t. It’s mostly a…” she struggled to find the right words. “An… hm…”
“Area for nobles, I noticed.”
“Commoners stick out too much in the Upper Market, lots of stares…”
Fenrir was looking straight ahead, but from the corner of his eye, noticed her awkwardness. For someone that claimed to no longer be bothered by stares, it was rather obvious they still made her uncomfortable. An idea came to him. “If you are free next weekend, let’s go to the Street Market.”
“Uh...”
“I’ll accompany you to the Upper Market so you can check the hunting gear shop all you want, and then you can show me those quirky stands in the Lower Market you were talking about.”
She rubbed her chin, thoughtful. Was he subtly asking her out? Nah, it sounded like another instance of his clueless wording. Artica disregarded her doubts and gave him a small smile. After all, now that Bud had someone else to hang out with, she didn’t mind doing something different.
“Sure! That sounds great.”
Fenrir nodded and stood up. “Alright. I’ll leave you to your reading then, sorry for interrupting.”
“No worries. See you on Monday!”
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Unlike the week before, where etiquette required a certain formality, Fenrir chose a more casual outfit with his favorite fur-trimmed coat. For Artica’s sake, he kept the shoes and other accessories the same to still give off a certain vibe. As he got closer to the park, he noticed she was already waiting for him.
Artica was wearing a slightly oversized white hand-knitted sweater that looked very cozy. She didn’t braid her hair and styled her bangs in a way that covered the left side of her face. To avoid making her feel self-aware, he made no comment about it.
“Hey. Nice sweater.”
“Right? My sister made it for me!” Artica said with a proud smile, doing a half turn. “Looking sharp yourself, I see.”
Fenrir let out a bashful scoff at her comment and started to walk, taking the riverside path. He found it funny that even though they saw each other every day at school, they still had things to talk about on a weekend. It almost felt like the way to the Street Market had shortened compared to the week before, when he went to meet Levina.
At the entrance, he noticed Artica had stopped a few paces back and it took her several minutes before finally joining him. “D-do you think there‘ll be a p-problem if I go?”
“No, and even if something does come up, I will make it my business to ensure it is not a problem for you.”
“Wow, that was a very cool answer. You nobles always know what to say!”
Fenrir side-eyed at her comment. Etiquette was always subtle, controlled, elegant, and calculated; he replied exactly in the way that other Nobles would have expected, but hearing her acknowledge it like that made him feel slightly embarrassed. And it got a little worse, because etiquette still had a few more requirements he had to fulfill if he really wanted to spare her any staring.
“Uhm… I am accompanying you today, which makes me your escort, so…”
He slightly elevated his elbow in her direction. Artica stared at him for a moment before putting the pieces together.
“Oh, r-right,” she locked her arm with his. Fenrir couldn’t help noticing how warm it felt. That was one truly cozy sweater.
“I’m sorry for making you do all this,” she whispered as they passed the first stalls. Artica walked around nervously, even though not a single soul was looking their way.
“I asked you to come with me, don’t worry about it, but if this makes you feel uncomfortable…”
“Not at all!” Artica replied, a little louder than she intended. “T-thank you for your kindness, my lord.”
Fenrir was slightly surprised at how natural that sounded. Whenever she spoke in a formal manner, her tone was stiff and dry, but just now… In any case, they faked interest in a few stalls until they found the one they were looking for. Her grip on his arm tightened with a loud gasp. Artica’s eyes gleamed with excitement as she took everything in. Carefully, he let go of her arm and slightly nudged her to the door of the actual store behind the stall.
Even though she went in right away, he stayed outside a little bit longer. After careful deliberation, he accepted there was no point in buying a fifth handcrafted bone dagger and entered the shop after her. There were at least a dozen items on the counter; hunting pouches, finely decorated quivers, and a wide range of gloves. As he entered, Artica turned to him with a bright blush on her cheeks.
Fenrir cleared his throat. “Have you found what you were looking for, my lady? I see you have carefully reviewed their archery inventory already.”
She gave him a mortified look, but still managed to answer. “Indeed, as my lord father mentioned, only the finest of items are to be found here. These gloves are simply exquisite.”
“Would you like to try them on, my lady?” the man behind the counter offered.
With a subtle tremble, Artica picked up a pair of three-fingered, tan-colored deerskin shooting gloves. She mimicked the motion of releasing an arrow and raised her eyebrows in delight.
The man nodded. “I see you are most knowledgeable on the matter, my lady. These are indeed some of our finest.”
After a few other comments regarding the material and expected longevity of the items, Artica made up a story about discussing it further with her father, thanked the man for his time and finally exited the store. Her excitement had her out of breath. “Did you see those? What a dream…!”
Artica suddenly realized Fenrir was not behind her, but before the goosebumps had spread through her body, she saw him exit the store as well. With a relieved sigh, she took his arm again.
“I take it the store lives up to its reputation?”
“Oh, you have no idea,” she almost squealed. “I know exactly what I will be saving my allowance for, even if it takes me 5 years.”
Fenrir gave her a small smile. They continued well past the spot where Levina had gracefully turned around and found themselves struggling to move among a small crowd. Even though it was no longer necessary, Artica did not let go of Fenrir’s arm and he secretly hoped she would not do so at all.
Visibly more relaxed, Artica guided him through the Lower Market, pointing out the stalls with better prices, greeting a few individuals along the way. People from all over Asgard came to this market to sell their wares, making it an interesting mix of all regions in one place. There was a girl who made sturdy leather boots, while a man next to her offered a large variety of pastries. Further along, a young woman and her many younger siblings sold colorful flowers in bundles.
At some point, they stopped to grab a cup of hot chocolate from a gentle senior lady who gave them homemade cookies for free. By the end of the day, they were carrying two small, knitted wolf dolls Artica won in tic-tac-toe against a young boy she knew. It was already evening when they returned to the riverside park, and she finally let go of Fenrir’s arm. The sudden cold made him feel somewhat lonely.
She gave him a short bow. “Thanks for taking me to the Upper Market today. I really appreciate it!”
“Thanks for showing me around the Lower Market. I really liked that cramped up bookstore with the hanging lanterns. Would it be okay if we went back some other time?”
“Of course, my lord, I am at your leisure,” Artica replied.
It was uncommon for that phrase to be directed towards him, but Fenrir decided etiquette could fuck off for the day. Well, no, not just yet. “Should I accompany you to your home?”
Artica felt a sudden wave of embarrassment. “N-no, that’s alright. I’ve taken enough of your time for one day. It’s a short walk from here so don’t worry about it.”
“Alright.”
“See you on Monday!”
Once back at his house, Fenrir closed the bedroom door and stared at the contents of his bag. He wasn’t sure why he bought a pair of three-fingered, tan-colored deerskin shooting gloves.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Bud was in the middle of a practice match with Sigurdsson when someone came into the gym with a box. Distracted by who it was, Siegfried wiped him out in one move. "Keep your eyes on the prize, Mister Sanfridsson."
"My apologies for interrupting, my lords," Artica made a short bow. "May I have a word with Asgrim?"
Asgrim approached her after Siegfried gave them a nod. "What's up?"
"You're good with mechanical stuff, yes?" she asked, showing him the box's contents.
The red-haired boy eyed the bits and pieces with interest. "I am. What do I get for fixing that?"
"Name your price."
Asgrim gave her a cocky smile. "How about catching a movie this weekend?"
"As a date?"
"Yeah."
"Then I have to pass. I’m already dating someone."
A few heads turned their way at those words, Syd and Fenrir's included. The other Black raised an eyebrow, lowering his voice a bit. "Yeah? From the Academy?"
"Like that would happen,” Artica let out an amused grunt. “No, but you probably know each other, she’s from your side of Central Asgard. Thyrna."
"Ohh! So, it's you she's with! Fancy that. Okay, okay, change of price. Just help me out with your notes for Physics and Literature."
"That’s fair. I'll talk to you tomorrow about this. Thanks a lot!" she said, making another bow before leaving the gym. Syd (and Fenrir) drifted towards Bud as he sat on a bench.
"What?"
"I was not aware she had a partner," his brother commented, acting casual.
"And? It's none of your business."
Syd tightened his lips, unable to find a way to ask more without seeming nosy. Fenrir had a slight frown, and then a sudden realization. "Ohh! Is that why her schedule is so crazy?"
The Black turned to him. "Why do you ask that?"
"Artica showed me her calendar the other day, and in every month, there is one week with nothing, but a 'T' written on it. I know it's not my business, but I just figured… That would also explain why when we went to the arcade, she asked me not to create misunderstandings."
Bud was slightly impressed. The kid from up north was rather perceptive when he wasn't busy inflicting his careless wording upon others. "It’s certainly none of your business… But yes, we Blacks have very tight schedules. Artica does her best to clear at least a week so she can do whatever with her partner."
"How thoughtful, and committed, of her," Syd replied with a nod.
"And exhausting," Fenrir added. The twins raised their eyebrows. "You guys should see that calendar, it's madness."
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
“So, how do you feel so far?”
“Jaded,” Asgrim replied lazily, cutting his steak in smaller pieces. “These past months feel like eight semesters.”
Sigurd chuckled at his words, while the other three nodded in agreement. “Yeah, but I think you guys are doing a great job. You in particular, I must admit.”
Bud made a casual hand gesture. “Me? Why would that be?”
“Oh, shut up, not all of us can date a Blue… especially not that Blue!” was Heimrik’s reply. This short, green-eyed boy grew up in Sweden, and just recently moved to Asgard to attend the Academy. He had proven to be full of complaints about how uninteresting his new home was, but the other Blacks had learned to tune them out.
“That aside, you have the right idea. Your top priority for the first half of Year 1 should be to make Blue friends. Lady Hilda has helped the scholarship program immensely, but she can't be there for the little things, especially during her last year at the Academy. We must make sure we have others to rely on, besides us Blacks. I’ve seen you two at lunch with those other four, that’s exactly what you need.”
“Who?”
“Baldreksson (though it’s obvious, he is your brother), the lady Rúri, your partner, and the other one, I always forget his name. The Wolfling.”
“The what?” Asgrim said, perking up at once. “Ylfingrsson?”
“Yes, that’s the one.”
Artica looked up from her lunch. “Hm? Why do you call him that?”
“Well, there are wolves in his family crest, yes? I don’t recommend using sobriquets for other students, but I do admit it's a bad habit I picked up from Sigurdsson’s older brother.”
“OH,” she blurted out, louder than intended. "Boreal wasn't exaggerating."
Sigurd raised an eyebrow. "Right, you're his younger sister! Don't tell me, he was super annoyed to learn lord Siegfried gave you a sobriquet."
"Annoyed? Even by phone, I could tell he was fuming!"
"Your brother never did like lord Sigmund much, but I never felt his sobriquets were meant as an insult. He always just seemed to have the perfect one on the tip of his tongue, even for those who have no coat of arms. It’s almost a compliment…"
Sigurd trailed off, and suddenly remembered what he wanted to say. “The point is, get someone who has your back, regardless of the color of their uniform. These three years in the Academy are brutal, at least surround yourselves with people whose company you enjoy. It’ll help immensely.”
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
It was a fine day to drop out of the face of the Earth. So many positive things had happened to him lately, Fenrir had almost forgotten he had his own personal hell back at the house.
"There will be a dinner on the 23rd with distinguished guests. You will attend but speak only when spoken to. Discussions will be held among adults, after all, and a brat like you has nothing of value to add to the conversation."
"If that is the case, why should I attend in the first place? After all, I was already invited to another dinner on that date," Fenrir replied, almost casually.
XXXX opened his eyes wide. The boy was talking back to him? It had been years since he had last dared to speak his own mind. "Excuse me? This is not a negotiation, boy. You will attend the dinner held in this house."
"I do not wish to."
XXXX shrugged off his comment. "Too bad no one cares about that. It is your duty as the House's heir, and you shall fulfill it, or otherwise tarnish your parents' reputation."
That stung. Fenrir didn't care about himself, but he would rather play into XXXX's schemes than somehow enable others to think ill of late Lord Ylfingr and Lady Ingrid. After all, it was not their fault their son had grown into such a failure. He clenched his jaw.
"Fine, I will attend this dinner of yours, here."
"Of course you will, boy. Make sure to explicitly decline the other invitation. We have no time for misunderstandings."
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
“Uh… What are those?”
“Antlers.”
“Yeah, but why?”
Artica took her seat. “For the Jólablót (1) activity.”
“You have to put your hand in the box at the front of the class and take out a paper,” she explained. “It will tell you what you have to do.”
Fenrir had a slight frown. “So, you are one of the eight reindeers from ‘A Visit from St. Nicholas’, by Clement C. Moore?”
“You are oddly well informed,” Bud intervened. “Which one?”
The girl rolled her eyes. “Cupid. ‘Because of archery’, they said. Lack of imagination, in my opinion.”
“You can say that twice,” Karianne agreed, adjusting her own set of antlers.
“Which one are you?”
“Vixen,” Bud and Artica replied before she could. Both Karianne and Fenrir stared in silence.
“It’s the obvious choice,” Artica cleared her throat while Bud nodded in agreement.
The other girl sat on her lap, wrapping her arms around her with a cheeky smile. “Is it now?”
Karianne did a dramatic gesture as a ringing echoed loudly in the halls. "There goes the bell. Will you carry me to the meeting room?"
"Please don't," Bud had laughed out loud at her first comment but seemed put off by the request.
After a moment of contemplation, making sure her grip was good and Karianne's skirt was properly secured, Artica got up carrying the black-haired girl with ease. Karianne waved them goodbye. "It's nice to see at least someone is willing to humor a lady around her."
"Un-fucking-believable," Bud turned around at once. "She shouldn't be spoiling her. Am I right?"
Fenrir's eyes darted quickly between him and the girls. There was an awkward expression on his face. "She's… rather strong, no?"
The twin looked amused. "Has to be, to be a decent archer. Upper body, core and hip muscles all need training to build up both strength and endurance. K is also not particularly heavy."
"Right, makes sense."
"What, you want her to carry you too?"
"Shut up. You're the one who seems jealous she carried your girl away."
Bud frowned. "I'm not jealous, I'm annoyed. K has a bad habit of getting others to play along her silly schemes. Even if they are harmless, she shouldn't abuse other's good will."
"You worry too much," Rúri intervened. She was wearing a very elegant top hat. "But if it helps, I will make sure she does not go overboard."
"I- Thank you, my lady, that is very kind of you."
Fenrir raised an eyebrow. "And what did you get?"
"Snowman. Snowperson, I guess."
A hand went to her shoulders, making her turn around. "A Snowkitty would be cuter."
"Ugh, of course you are a St Nicholas," Bud groaned, looking at his twin.
The kid from up north took out a paper from the box and stared at it, confused. “I don’t get it.”
“Gingerbread cookie goes with Snowperson.”
“Meaning?”
Bud rolled his eyes. “They are in charge of receiving and wrapping gifts. St Nicholas and Reindeers will deliver them next week.”
It still didn’t make much sense to Fenrir, but he went along with it. Rúri and Bud explained the general gist of it, pointing to the other boxes where students could put their already wrapped gifts, or request for them to be wrapped on the spot. He was never particularly good at it, so Fenrir hoped to at least do a decent job. For three days, half the class spent their afternoons checking the boxes and getting down to business.
Among the activity goals was for juniors to interact with their seniors, so it was common enough for people they had barely seen to approach them and have a chat. It was honestly impressive how far some students would go to ensure the receiver did not know who sent the gift, even offering favors to keep it a secret. This was especially true for very popular students, like Lady Hilda, Siegfried Sigurdsson, and even Karianne and Syd. However, as the last two were in the same class, those gifts were redirected to the gift wrappers from 1B and 1C.
Depending on the number of gifts per student, the Academy would provide at least three, so no one was left with either too few, or none at all. People like Siegfried Sigursson, however, didn’t need any buffering.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
“If it bothers you, I will not humor her anymore,” Artica said with a nod.
“Thanks,” Bud replied with a relieved smile.
“However, I'd like to offer some advice.”
The twin raised his eyebrows in anticipation.
“Try humoring her yourself more often.”
Bud crossed his arms at once with a frown. “I can’t. How will she learn to be less of an attention-hoarder?”
“Have you considered that she’s not aiming for everyone’s attention, just yours?”
“I- She already knows she has my attention. She is my partner after all.”
“Ok, but how often do you show her that? Cut her some slack, Bud. She is so charming and attractive, a lot of people jump right in at the chance of giving it to her, in hopes of something more, but I'll tell you a secret.”
He tightened his lips. “What secret?”
Artica’s smile was full of amusement. “When you’re not around, she barely engages in that kind of thing.”
Bud felt a slight blush creeping up his face. This was not his first relationship, not by a long shot, but he suddenly felt really stupid about how he’d been dealing with the whole thing. The twin covered his face in embarrassment. “I’ll… keep this in mind.”
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Artica was fetching the blue package when the girl from 1C called her over.
“Over here, Miss Cupid.”
She groaned. “Any chance you could just call me by my name, my lady?”
Her copper curls shone beautifully, even indoors. “Instructions are instructions, Miss Cupid. No exceptions.”
“I understand, lady Dasher,” Artica nodded with a heavy sigh. “Who’s next?”
“That young lady from 2B,” Levina replied, subtly pointing to a slender girl of long, straight black hair and bright teal eyes. “Would you please deliver this one?”
‘Cupid’ barely raised an eyebrow, already used to doing most of the heavy lifting. Not that this Blue had been unpleasant to her, but they all tended to just send her to do things. In any case, Artica walked up to her and cleared her throat. “My lady, may I have a word?”
There was no reaction, which in itself was weird because in the Academy everyone was always attentive to their surroundings (after all, etiquette did not treat those who disregard others well). She raised her voice a bit and tried again, with the same result. It was only when the Year 2 student tucked her hair behind her ear that Artica understood why.
Levina observed with interest as the Black walked a few paces away and then approached her directly from the front. Once she got her attention, Artica put the package in front of her and made very clear hand gestures as she spoke. “Good afternoon, lady Vaike. May I present gifts and other tokens of appreciation from friends and admirers?”
The girl seemed amused and gestured back, pointing at the antlers on the other girl’s head. ‘That looks very cute on you, little junior. You wear them well.’
Artica smiled, lowering her head. Her hands moved fluidly. “Your words are kind, my lady. Please enjoy your gifts.”
They parted ways and ‘Cupid’ returned to ‘Dasher’s’ side. Levina had the eraser of her pencil to her lips. “That went well, Miss Cupid. Good work.”
“Only one left. Who is it for, lady Dasher?”
Her green eyes didn’t even flicker, even though she had the list in her hand. “Fenrir Ylfingrsson, from 1A.”
“Oh, I know where that one is. Follow me.”
Levina said nothing and walked right behind her with the last purple package in her hands. As they were not in the same class, the two girls seldom interacted outside of physical education, or requested club activities. This was one of the four Blacks in their year, the only girl and, most notably, the one with the big scar on the left side of her face.
Seeing her from afar, Levina always perceived her as rough, with all the hammering she did for the drama club, but the three afternoons they had spent delivering gifts taught her otherwise. She seemed cheerful and easygoing, even if a little sensitive about her face. Due to all this, Levina had been very curious to work with her from the moment ‘Rudolph’ assigned them together. Well, that, and the other thing.
When they reached the gardens, Artica eyeballed the south side and then pointed to the bench under the tallest tree. “There he goes again, with his afternoon nap.”
Levina repressed a laugh. The Black took the package from her for a moment to write the receiver’s name and paused. “Huh, it wasn’t this heavy a while ago…”
She met 'lady Dasher’s' eyes. Levina said nothing, and at the same time, said it all. Artica raised her eyebrows for a moment and then returned the package to her. “Uh, lady Dasher, would you please deliver this one?”
Levina nodded, still silent, and turned around. Obviously, all her troubles to hide the fact she was sneaking an extra present into the package had gone out the window in an instant, yet she was grateful for the unexpectedly smooth way the Black had handled it. Levina walked over to the boy, acting as calm as she could.
Fenrir was slumped on the bench in a highly undignified manner, not at all reflecting his noble status. She cleared her throat twice, the second time a little louder, until he came back to life. “Good afternoon, lord Fenrir. May I present gifts and other tokens of appreciation from friends and admirers?”
“Friends and what?” he muttered drowsily. However, the moment he saw her face, Fenrir straightened up and smoothed over his clothes, now visibly tense. “My lady! Apologies… I- Uh, how did you find me?”
Levina’s eyes flickered to where Artica had been a minute ago, only to find she was seemingly alone with him in the south side of the gardens. “Why do you ask, my lord?”
Fenrir narrowed his eyes, unwilling to admit there were exactly two people who knew he napped there, and one had found out by accident. The boy let out a sigh. “It matters not. Thank you for delivering these- Wow, this is a little heavy, is it not?”
She gave him a helpless smile, unsure of what to say. “You are most welcomed, my lord. Please enjoy your gifts.”
Levina promptly turned around, her curls shining bright in the pale sun outdoors. She returned to the main building only to hear a small chuckle behind her back. “That went well, lady Dasher. Good work.”
“Thank you for your commitment, Miss Reynirdóttir. It has been a pleasure to deliver presents with you.”
“Oh? No more ‘Miss Cupid’, my lady?”
“The assignment is complete. Instructions no longer apply.”
“The pleasure was mine, lady Sefidóttir. If the Drama club needs my assistance next week, please do let me know,” Artica said with a short bow before turning around and walking out the door.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
There was no one else at the Archery club, which was ideal. He already felt miserable and did not have the strength to be very casual about it.
"About the dinner on the 23rd…" Fenrir said, rubbing his neck. "I can't attend."
Artica lowered her bow. "It's okay. We're aware December 23rd is an awkward date to celebrate a birthday."
He clenched his jaw. "It's not that I don't want to attend. I can't attend."
Whether she picked up on it or not, Fenrir could not say. Artica readied her arrow once again. "Don't worry about it. Maybe some other time."
Fenrir nodded, utterly unhappy. He’d encouraged himself to believe this would be the first Christmas in a long time he would actually enjoy, away from everything that made him lonely and sad, but it had blown up spectacularly in his face. Fenrir cursed the moment he let himself hope for something less depressing.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
Winter break had mixed reviews.
Karianne and her father flew down to Belgium to spend the holidays with the other half of their family. Apparently, the weather had been fantastic, despite the time of year. Rúri spent it at Syd's household, as her parents were still attending business meetings abroad.
Bud, Artica, and their families returned to the eastern region, hoping to give Sannfrid a break from medical treatment in a familiar place. Unlike Belgium, however, Eastern Asgard was hit by a blizzard, and it took a few days for trains to resume.
Fenrir spent winter break as usual; doing absolutely nothing besides the mandatory dinner he was forced to attend. There had never been such a thing as decorating, seasonal meals, or gift exchanges with XXXX and his brother around, so during the day he would go hiking to the nearby hills with Ging, and at night, locked himself in his room, listening to music in the dark.
End-of-year holidays hadn't always been like this, but after that fateful day when he was six, nothing was the same ever again.
x+x+x+x+x+x+x
It was already dark by the time they got back. Since Fenrir had been miserable all day, Artica invited him to the Lower Market. They didn't really do much, just hang out at the bookstore and play some games with Vaito (who gracefully apologized for flinching at her scar).
They were just outside his house, talking, when the buzzer rang loudly and the gate flung open. An angry voice was screaming seven hundred things at once. Fenrir immediately smashed the button on the intercom and answered at least eight hundred things back. The yelling continued. He was on the verge of just storming inside to have the argument face to face, and possibly throw around some punches too.
This seemed like a recurrent situation, and even though Artica did not want to seem pushy, she grabbed his hand. "Hey, uhm, would you like to have dinner at my house today, like right now?"
"What?"
"Y-yeah, if that is okay."
Fenrir felt terrible every day in that house, with those people, and just the thought of not having to put up with it for one evening felt like a blessing. He couldn't believe someone was offering it to him so freely. "Really?"
"You don't have to come if you don't want to, I just-"
"I would like that…" he answered in the softest of voices.
"I'm leaving!" Fenrir yelled back at the house, not even bothering with the intercom anymore, before allowing Artica to guide him away. Her house, like his, was on the outer part of the city, but Fenrir never imagined it to be just 20 minutes away. He noticed she was slowing down and got very nervous all of a sudden.
"Hey, thank you. Really. I've never been invited to someone else's house but I… don't know if I should-"
The Black stopped in front of a modest 1-story house with a small backyard. Lights were on inside. She turned to him with a warm smile. “Then please allow me to welcome you into our little home.”
Artica opened the door, took off her boots and invited him to do the same. "Ma, I'm back! I brought someone from school for dinner. That's okay, right?"
"Yeah, no prob- From school?" A slightly alarmed voice replied. There was some shuffling down the hallway. Moments later, an older woman emerged from one room, her hair up in a tight knot.
"Welcome to our humble household, my lord," she said with a slight bow and in the same stiff tone Artica used with other students. "We can only hope our-"
"Ma, it's alright."
Her mother gave her a disapproving look. How could it be alright when someone from that school was coming here? Fenrir cleared his throat and offered his best (nervous) smile.
"My apologies for the late notice, madam, but please don’t stress over it. I grew up in Northern Asgard, close to the wild mountains. I could really use a day where no one has to put up with etiquette."
The woman seemed taken aback by his words but returned his smile. "Yeah? From the mountain range, you say? My husband goes there for work often, shame he ain't here today."
"Is that so?"
"Pa's a hunter, he gets wild game for the local butcher."
Fenrir nodded knowingly. Back in the North, he saw hunters often but was never allowed to talk to them. They guided him to the kitchen and after a few minutes, dinner was served. It was great, all of it. The food, the tiny kitchen, the creaking wooden stool, and the company. Embla, her mother, took a liking to him very quickly. She even let her hair down after a while and told him stories about Artica and her siblings.
“Such a small thing, always clinging to her brother’s arm!”
“Ma! You make me sound like a crybaby!” she interrupted, flustered. Fenrir noticed she was avoiding his gaze.
“You were a crybaby, child, but not anymore, eh? Going to the big Academy with the fancy nobles now…” there was an awkward pause. “No offense, Fenrir.”
“None taken,” he said right away. “If it helps, I think Artica fits there better than me.”
After a long conversation about nothing in particular, it was finally time to wrap up. Embla ruffled his hair before he left the house. Once outside, they noticed snow falling gently from the sky. Artica went back for a moment and returned with a grey scarf. “Here.”
“Thanks, for everything…” he said, lowering his eyes. “I had a great time. Your mother is lovely.”
“I’m glad to hear that, it really seemed like you needed a break from being home.”
“That’s my house, but not my home,” Fenrir replied in a low voice. “And those people… are certainly not gonna make it one soon.”
“Are they your…?”
“My parents passed away a long time ago… during a riding accident…”
An awkward silence tried to settle between them, but Artica did not allow it. "Why do you let them treat you like that? You don't deserve it. No one does."
There were many reasons why he allowed it. Years of verbal abuse corroding his self-confidence. Lack of any other significant interactions to show him what positive ones were like. Fear of being lonelier than he already felt. Fenrir, however, chose to tell her the one that was less complex to explain, but just as important. "I'm afraid they will hurt Ging when I'm not home, among other things."
"You don't deserve to be treated like that," Artica repeated, moving closer and hugging him tightly. “Visit anytime, okay? Ma always makes extra food, even though my siblings aren’t here, and Pa is often away.”
“Isn’t Bud over frequently? I don’t want to be inconvenient…”
“Yeah, he is also welcomed here anytime, but don’t worry about it. I can only hope you see this tiny house as a place where it’s okay to be yourself. Like you were with Ma, like you are with me. Like we are now…”
For the first time in a very long while, Fenrir felt better. Truly. Like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He hugged back, somewhat sheepishly.
“I would like that…”
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(1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule
#AAAU#AU#fic#fenrir#artica#syd#ruri#bud#karianne#sigurd#asgrim#levina#embla#scumbag10aniversario#scumbag10AU#scumbag10ocs#AA!Artica#AA!Fenrir#AA!Bud#AA!Karianne#AA!Ruri#AA!Syd#eng
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Title: Guardian
Author: Alex London
Genre: YA Fiction | Friendship | Drama | Sci-Fi | Dystopia | Post-Apocalypse | LGBTQ+
Content Warnings: Homophobia | Death
Overall Rating: 8.1/10
Personal Opinion: Once again, the world-building is so exquisite that it really immerses the reader in this post-apocalyptic world. It’s hard to put down this book because you’re just excited to find out how something pans out or simply what will happen next. I do wish that the love interests, Syd and Liam, had more chemistry though. The tension is through the roof, I just wanted to see them interacting more.
Do I Own This Book? No.
Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:
Likes:
- The vast world-building is as impressive as in the first book. The disease being their datastreams in their blood turning against them because they’re functionally useless was so brilliant. The insane cultists, the revenge-hungry Purifiers, it was just all immaculately done. Even the councilor Pei just flat out ignoring the illness in favor of gaining power. I remember thinking that was unrealistic when I first read it but seeing how the pandemic has played out, yeah that tracks. London was unfortunately ahead of his time with that.
- There’s a lot of nostalgia for me since I read this book years ago. But the only scene that I truly remember is the awkward yet sexually charged medical scene where Syd was treating Liam’s wound. It’s still just as funny as it was the first time. And the sexual tension that hung between them for the whole book was just exquisite.
- Marie and Cheyenne are real badasses in this book. They take down so many enemies and it’s just so cool. You can’t help but cheer them on too because they’re always justified in the people they take down. The action scenes were all great, to be honest, but it was especially good with these two.
- I will never get over Syd’s incredible empathy. It’s that kindness that drew Liam in and made him fall for Syd. That a killer falls for a guy because he’s nice. That’s the opposites attract trope I adore. A trained assassin and a guy that just wants peace? Sign me the fuck up.
Dislikes:
- Cousin is such an enigma. I’m glad he got his just desserts in the end and also saw the nopes recovering but I just feel like he got no explanation. None of his motivations were explained. He just wanted oblivion for… what? What was his end goal in all this? And if the Machine wasn’t even viable, why go to the trouble of even chasing down Syd and the others? He feels evil for the sake of being evil which I never like.
- Speaking of which, there’s no viable cure for the disease but some people recover from it? I don’t know, that feels somewhat anticlimactic. Like we went on this whole journey and for what? For just a bunch of people to die and nothing else? I don’t know, everything just felt too passive. Like things were happening but the choices didn’t really matter.
- I’m gonna be honest, there was a lot of sexual tension from Syd and Liam but no chemistry. I think it’s because Syd barely knows anything about Liam and all of Liam’s attraction concerning Syd were rooted in him being Yovel at first. Plus, Syd just kept pushing him away. It’s… hard for me to see them as a couple but I guess that’s why when Syd had jumped off the building, he was thinking that he wanted to get to know Liam more.
- Baram was the closest thing Syd had to a father and Syd just didn’t grieve him at all? In Proxy, Syd was so dead set on saving Baram and trusted him over everyone else. And then Baram just dies. Syd buries homophobic homicidal Finch but he can’t even mourn the man that raised him? That feels like a major disservice.
#Booklr#Booksbooksbooks#Book Blog#Book Review#Book Recs#Guardian#Alex London#LGBTQ#Queer Books#Queer Lit#Queer Representation
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here’s what i’m thinking. it’s the 1940’s. y/n is on her first date w the lovely steve rogers. it’s lots of shy giggly fluff. syd, my fabulous companion, can you write something along the lines of this and i’ll swim across the atlantic to shower you and mags in kisses. love u xx
First Date Jitters
“Becs, what if he doesn’t like me. What if I annoy him?”
Bothered, you laid your arms on the vanity and groaned, annoyed by the mere thought of ruining this first date. Steve Rogers seemed like a dreamboat and the minute he asked you out on a date, your eyes formed hearts and you were floating on cloud nine.
“Honey, he asked you out on a date, didn’t he?
“Yeah, but y’all pushed him! Maybe he felt pity for me and-”
Tired of your rambling, Rebecca ran the brush through your hair a bit too harsh for your liking.
“Geez! What was that for, Barnes?”
She smirked and went back to brushing your hair, returning to gentle strokes from before.
“To shut ya mouth full of lies.” Her strong New York accent came through and you giggled. When Rebecca spoke with a said accent, she meant business and was going to get her point through regardless if you listened or not.
Eventually, you zipped your mouth, letting Becca work her magic with your hair and makeup. As she did so, your mind drifted off to the first time you had met Steve.
“Pleaseeeeee, Bucky’s bringing a friend for dinner. Don’t leave me in a room full of testosterone.”
Becca was down on her knees, clasping the hem of your dress. Currently, you were standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk, people passing and shooting funny glares. Embarrassed, you pulled at her arms, but to no avail, she wouldn't budge from her spot on the cement.
“Rebecca Barnes, get off the ground! You look like a fool!”
“Not till you say, yes. You know how many dinners you’ve turned down?”
Groaning, you agreed to go just this once. The last time you went to dinner, you made a complete fool of yourself, even though Rebecca said otherwise. Bucky’s naturally flirtatious nature and secretive winks made you read into the situation a bit too much. From then on you vowed to never show up at a dinner of theirs. You’d known Rebecca for almost five years, yet you still couldn’t forgive yourself for that first night.
“You know why I always refuse, Becca.”
She linked her arm in yours, now off the ground and ready to walk around town some more.
“I know, but Bucky does that to every friend I’ve brought home. Don’t worry, the other girls did way worse than you. In the end, Bucky just likes to hook, line, and sink em kind of thing.”
Rebecca laughed, punctuating her sentence, and at her words of assurance, you felt a bit relieved.
That night you knocked on the door, and within seconds it flew open. Rebecca, flour covered hands, held out her arms for an awkward hug.
“You didn’t chicken out this time!”
You gave her a set of squinted eyes and she lightly giggled, waltzing back to the kitchen. Just as you were about to follow, a certain someone stopped you. Blocking the doorway, a young man you had been trying to avoid stood before your much smaller figure.
“Hey! You showed up this time, angel! Sorry I know I kind of scared you off last time. I’m sure Becs has given you her opinion on me.”
Bucky scratched at the back of his neck, shyly looking into your eyes.
“No hard feelings, Buck.”
You gave the man a tight lipped smile and started to maneuver past him, when his arms reached out for your waist.
“Becca told you I brought a friend, right?”
Confused, you cautiously nodded.
“Well, I want you to meet him. Hey Punk! Get out here!”
Suddenly, a man, no smaller than yourself rounded the corner and smiled bashfully at you.
“Hi ma’am, name’s Steve Rogers.”
The man, Steve, held out a hand for you to shake, which you did. All of a sudden, you two started talking and before you knew it, Bucky had left to go tell Rebecca their plan had worked. As implied, dinner ended with Steve asking you out.
“Hellooooo, any one home in there?”
Rebecca playfully tapped your head, shaking you from your thoughts.
“Huh?”
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes. Thinking ‘bout Rogers, aren't ya?”
With a timid smile, you nodded, soon standing from the vanity seat and going to change. Your friend had done an amazing job on pinning up your hair and fixing your makeup. You almost felt like a million bucks. To compliment it all, your mother had even found you a little baby pink number. Quickly changing, you stepped out of the closet, twirling in the sea on the pink fabric. Rebecca gasped at the sight and immediately reached for the camera, taking a picture of you, mid laughter.
Checking your wrist watch, you suddenly heard the doorbell and practically ran for the door with Rebecca who was laughing so hard that she couldn’t keep up.
Swinging open the door a bit too excitedly, you found Steve’s grin dissipating. A bit disappointed with his reaction, you toned down the excitement, hoping he wouldn’t notice your sudden change in demeanor.
“Wow, doll. You look,” The young man swallowed the lump in his throat, “stunning. Absolutely gorgeous!”
At the words, your disappointment morphed into satisfaction, and you stepped out the door, hitching onto Steve’s arm, waving goodbye to your best friend.
“Don’t keep her out too late, Steven!”
Rebecca’s words followed you both down the hallway, causing some laughter from Steve, who seemed a bit uncomfortable. Worried once more, you decided to pry a bit.
“Is everything ok, Steve?”
He turned to you with wide eyes and shook his head to dispute your many apologies.
“I’m just a bit nervous, it’s not you! It's just that no girl as pretty as you has never gone out with me before.”
Steve’s cheeks turned rosy red, before he looked the other direction, not wanting you to see him like this. In his mind, one wrong move and you’d leave him for another.
Humbled at his comment, you took your free hand and turned his face in your direction. With a big smile, you planted a soft kiss on the corner of his lips, leaving the young man almost breathless.
“Don’t worry about me, Stevie. I’m not going anywhere, except where you take me.”
Confident by your actions, Steve stood a bit taller and led you out of the apartment building, excited for his first date with you.
You were tucked into Steve’s side, enjoying a small conversation with him. The two of you were quite the pair, nervously asking the other one a question, trying to get to know each other since this was your first date. They say opposites attract, but that was not the case with you and Steve. So far, he had told you of the endless days he’d spent in the hospital, and a part of you longed for him to be healthy, as that sounded like his one wish. Steve would go on and on about how Bucky had set him up on dates and it normally ended with Bucky having two girls around his arms instead of one. You could see Steve’s self-confidence faltering, so you decided to share your many failed-date stories, eliciting a laugh from the man at the few comedic ones.
The whole walk, you were so caught up in talking to the man, that the two of you almost passed the first place you were going to stop. Of course, you were clueless as to where Steve was taking you, so you would have kept walking if Steve hadn’t stopped and gently placed his hands over your eyes. You felt the man turn you around and walk you a few steps when finally he removed the makeshift blindfold that was his hands.
“We’re here! Rebecca told me how much you loved chocolate, so I figured you could pick a box of your choice.”
He smiled lovingly at you, as you squealed like a child on Christmas morning. Thrilled, you ran into the store, seeing a case of a variety of chocolates. Steve caught up and enjoyed your cute facial expressions as you scanned over the options. There was an endless amount of chocolate, all in different forms and unthinkable flavors. About to order, you pulled out your clutch when Steve halted your actions.
“Now you think I’m gonna let my girl pay for her own box of chocolates?”
“But Steve-”
Your date stood strong in his statement, and demanded that you pick whatever chocolate you wanted. After scowling at him for a bit, you finally caved and picked from the overwhelming selection behind the glass case. You and Steve shared a few samples, laughing at how you both were acting like wine samplers. Since your date was buying the box, you told him that you’d only allow him to do so, if he selected a few chocolates himself. Begrudgingly, Steve agreed and you both might’ve held up the line a bit with your indecisiveness.
Walking out, you were once again wrapped into Steve’s side, this time his jacket on your shoulders as the sun had gone down and the night chills had creeped out. So far, you could feel Steve becoming more and more comfortable as the two of you started to talk about whatever came to mind. Just as you thought the man was done with the surprises, he stopped in front of the movie theater.
“Steve-”
“Nope, this is our first date, and we are going to make it memorable!”
You chuckled at his persistence and decided to play along.
“Well what about this lovely chocolate, we can’t just toss it out yet?”
Steve took the box and stuffed it in the pocket of his jacket that was still hanging on your shoulders.
“Oooh is Steve Rogers breaking the rules?”
A cheeky grin formed on his lips, “Only because I really like you.”
The minute the words left his mouth, Steve’s ears started to turn cherry and you shyly giggled.
“Well, I really like you too, Steve Rogers.” With that, you kissed him, but this time on the lips. As you did so, you could feel his cheeks warming and a big smile twisted onto your lips, breaking the kiss.
“Oh Steve Rogers, what am I going to do with you?”
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Sydney goes on a date with a guy from school. At the restaurant. Sydney “uhhh I know we know each other but this is our first date, isn’t first impression count?” Guy “what?” “You didn’t even pull a chair out for me and you went ahead and sit your ass down?” “And the problem?” “Okay..” Sydney sits down and they started to order. After their food served and after they started to eat. Sydney couldnt handle it “let me explain things to you. Usually guy on a first date or on any date for that matter will pull a chair out for their date. They will arrive early and won’t make their date wait for 30 mins! They will wait for their date to decide what to eat before order. They will also ask how they date doing and how’s the food.. but you! You made me wait, did none of those and talked about yourself for the past 30 mins. You are not even 1/4 of how gentlemen my dad is😑” “…okay good thing your hot. I don’t see the problem here. You are hot, I’m hot. We know each other so why go through or those trouble🙄” “my dad and my brother still do or those when they are in solid relationship” “uhhh isn’t your dad like old?” “Okay that’s it! Even he is old but he is still hot and hotter than you. You can go ahead and have a date with your ego self. Thanks for the meal” then Sydney left. When she got back home, everyone got surprised that she got home early. Jimin “hey Syd why you home early? It’s not that I’m not happy but should I worry?” Syd “nope dad. Let just say he is not worth my time bc he is not even be as nice and gentle even in quarter as you and oppa. So I ditched the date” jimin “good girl” and he kisses her head. Noah “should I do give him a lesson? I know ppl” Sydney “nah it’s okay. He is not worth the time 😌” and she is watching YG with her family on the couch in Jimin ‘s arm
Sydney would definitely have super high standards lol 😂😭
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i watched the first episode of canine intervention tonight, here’s some uncensored liveblogging featuring my spicey dog training takes:
“my dog training system is known all over the world" mhmm. lemme google this guy.
by clicking through his in person training site to his online remote training course, i found a whole lot of big red flags: "Establish pack leadership" dogs don't have pack leaders. anyone who wants to make you a leader is not using a good understanding of dog behavior "Time your praise and corrections" the times when i use corrections are when i'm the least on my game. my goal is NEVER to use corrections/positive punishment. why should i? it's concerning that he uses it as a core part of his method. "Exercise and reinforce your leadership as a way of life" more leadership bullshit.
fancy letters are not the end-all-be-all, and there are trainers i seriously respect who have none of them. but they don't talk about leadership and corrections. it's concerning that he talks about his sports team as a kid, where he went to high school, and his celebrity clients, but not his mentors and education in training.
back to the show
why does his facility have enough dogs to keep them in kennels? how does that teach aggressive dogs how to be safe in a home environment?
not all of the dogs in the first shot of a class (~1:38) have two collars on but a lot do. that's not a red flag (i worked sydney in two collars [her flat collar and a martingale, because syd was very gear smart and it was nice to tell her that we were doing heeling now]) but with what i saw on his website? it's quite likely that one of those is the dog's normal flat collar with tags, and the other is a prong, choke chain, or electric collar
also: "I help the dogs that no one else will" is a flat out lie
if you're willing to take on any human aggression cases, generally you’re willing to take on all of them. now, some of these cases may generally lead to a recommendation of euthanasia. but that's in the best interests of the dog and owner
oop class shot where it's clear that they're wearing prongs
here's two points not about this guy specifically: 1) it is hard (impossible?) to do humane, ethical dog training in a 45 minute episode slot. it's not good tv. it's slow as hell. there's no drama. the aggression trainers i know? have never been bitten. many have never been CLOSE to being bitten. no tv value. 2) the positive dog training community is OVERWHELMINGLY white and middle class.
it's also full of racists.
"Nearly a million dogs are euthanized yearly and over 40% of them are pit bulls" i've calculated that first statistic myself, but it's important to put it in context: this is USA specific, and that's down from 3-4 million 20 years ago. the second one, i would love to see his source.
he's right that it's important to understand where aggression comes from
anyway back to those two points, at the same time that it's really, really hard to do compelling TV with ethical dog trainers, it's also really REALLY important that the positive dog training community be working on being anti-racist. and it's really, really important that low income dog owners and people of color are getting good dog training.
alright first case! he's had her 3 months, 3 bites in that time. 10 attempted attacks. she's a young adult bully breed mix who had one front leg amputated after being shot. owner walks her in a muzzle which is a) too small and b) not bite proof.
"I see what we're working with" he says, after approaching a dog in her crate. hazard responds similarly to someone coming in, but he's not a bite risk. that's not a good evaluation.
he is correct about lady macbeth's motivations: this is a dog who's scared as hell and making herself really big and scary so that everyone leaves her alone.
okay he's also right that playing with her around strangers is really, really good for fear aggression
"frenzied just chaotic state" yeah no
reality check for y'all: i am not an aggression specialist and i have seen more freaked out dogs
she was on edge! she was unhappy! but holy shit was she not even remotely close to what dogs are capable of
"she just bit me!" she nipped your cheek, not breaking skin. that's a level 1 or 2 (of 6). that's not NOTHING but it's well within normal for a dog who's being restrained when she wants to be somewhere else.
[note that at no point in the episode was the owner ever given any sort of indication that lady macbeth is not this horribly aggressive Pit Bull TM. nor was there any discussion of a bite scale.]
"The only option we're gonna have is to [board and train] for 3 weeks" "I have no choice but to take her back to my facility back in San Jose and work daily with her" no!!!!!
[15 minute break]
lmao sorry i had to go yell at gf about how much this board and train is not necessary and in the process penny decided to cause Drama again
ANYWAY, the b&t is not necessary because all of those aggressive incidents bar the first could have been avoided if the owner was on the ball. this is not JUST a lady macbeth issue, this is ALSO an owner issue. both of them need to relearn how to handle new people.
as a bonus, lady macbeth needs to learn to trust her owner, which she categorically cannot do in a b&t
"The box is an important training tool to teaching new behaviors. It's also a first step in establishing pack leadership" ok this is new to me
and new is not a good thing here
text: Obedience depends on a dog's trust and respect for their pack leader calculus depends on your trust and respect for your math teacher! if you respect them a lot you will magically be able to do calc!
I WAS HOPING. I WAS TRYING.
i was HOPING that his training for her fear aggression would be based in toy play.
instead he's got a fake arm and he keeps reaching out to poke her, and the owner says "no!" and does a leash pop (leash wrapped around her neck) every time she tries to bite.
"She doesn't know it's not his hand" it smells like plastic what would she THINK it is
also funky that we're 19 minutes into the episode about an aggressive bully breed mix and the trainer's childhood bully breed mix who killed a dog, and like. not a single mention of what these dogs were bred for.
let's go back to "how are you teaching aggressive dogs to live nicely in a home, if they are spending most of the day in a wire kennel"
for shits take, high school doesn't teach you how to handle your emotions! why should obedience class teach your dog the same?
and then like, every time she breaks the down he yells NOPE and leans over her??????
dude you're scaring her into being obedient. while you're talking about how it's important to treat her fear.
text: Fear based aggression can be reduced by desensitizing the dog to strangers you're right! it sure can! THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE
you've got a dog on her side with one hand over her, the other on a skinny check chain on her neck. every time she does anything but lay flat, the leash is popped and you say no. you are flooding this dog and creating learned helplessness.
jo summed it up well with this: he's good at seeing the behavior, he knows what he's looking at, he just can't change it. he only knows one method.
jo and i are now trying to figure out if "dog training but marie kondo not cesar milan" is a viable tv show
jas correctly stops the friend and changes how he approaches the dog, that's a good response
i'm laughing bc after a 3 week board and train which is not going to be less than $4k, he's giving the exact same "how to meet new people" directions that i would give to a similar client--at the start of our time! not at the end!
"I can't imagine imagine a dog having it too much worse than she did, the fact that she took a gunshot, the fact that she had no security for years of her life" alright dude a) think worse, this PALES to abuse cases b) let's not? shittalk? the care that people without reliable housing give to their dogs (and occasional cat!)?? because what they do for their pets is incredible, and it isn't necessarily connected to her opinions on strangers
so yeah still laughing bc like. that "happy ending" would be my first session with a client. that's how you START handling stranger danger. and for this the owner paid thousands.
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