#but nooooo let's put bruce

[notfeelingthyaster]

jason nightwinging was better than bruce nightwinging. tim would be the obvious choice, he is like smaller penis guy no one would notice, and he has no job since he is clinging to robin. cass would be a good choice. duke would be an okay choice. even steph would be a better choice, actually, even if she is blonde, we put a cowl on her and it's solved. ANYONE. BUT. BRUCE.

[angelbaby-fics]

Cg stucky x little reader x little Peter where he is the older bro and very protective about his little sis and they go to the avenger tower but she is in babyspace and non-verbal and he won't let anyone near her and is like "nooooo she to tiny you make her owie" and when someone else than their caregivers try to pick her up he Hit the person and get punished by daddies

Baby's Bodyguard

Word Count: 800

A/N: This is such a sweet idea!!!! I love big bro Peter & there's gonna be a lot more of him coming in the future I think 💕 Also nobody yell at me but I haven't actually watched Hawkeye & I don't know anything about Kate imsosorry enjoy!! 💕

Joining the Rogers-Barnes family as their precious and littlest baby was the greatest thing that happened to everyone involved, but nobody took on a greater pride than your big bubba Peter. Steve and Bucky had been worried at first that he wouldn’t take it well, no longer being an only child and the absolute center of their attention. To their surprised delight, however, Peter took on his new older sibling responsibilities with a soldier’s pride. 

Any time you were out on an errand or playing in the park, Peter took it upon himself to keep a watchful eye on you, even though your daddies were more than capable. Whenever you weren’t in your daddies’ arms, you were holding Peter’s hand. At the playground, he’d go down the slide first to make sure it wasn’t too fast, and then wait at the bottom to catch you as you followed. When you ordered food in a restaurant, Peter always took the first bite to make sure it was safe. Well, maybe that one wasn’t as much about protection as it was getting an extra bite, but still. At parties and playdates it was a little easier for him to get distracted, but he always made sure you were within earshot.

That’s how you found yourself now, in one of the common rooms of the sprawling Avengers compound, stacking blocks into a castle while Peter half paid attention to Wanda’s game of pretend on the other side of the room, his focus divided between her and you. Steve was standing around the snack table talking to Bruce and Tony, while Bucky and Sam cracked open a couple of beers on the balcony. It wasn’t a party so much as a lively get-together, team members and family only. 

It also happened to be Kate’s first party with the gang. Kate had been kind to you the few times you had met her, engaged with you in your pretend games and played hide and seek around the compound with you and your friends, but you didn’t trust her all the way yet. She was new here, she didn’t know that the only ones you allowed to carry you were your daddies. When Tony announced that dinner was ready, she was the closest to you, so she picked you up to carry you into the dining room with everyone. She meant well, she handled you gently, but that meant nothing to you at this moment. 

Peter’s spidey senses noticed it first, the sharp intake of your breath as you started to wail. Poor Kate didn’t realize what was happening as everything unfolded. A sticky web splatted into the back of her shirt as Peter ran over to the two of you. 

“No! You put baby down!!” He shouted, smacking the side of Kate’s arm like a cat batting a toy; not enough to hurt her.

Kate let go of you as you flung yourself into Peter’s arms, now sobbing from both the fright of being picked up by a new person and the commotion that had followed it. Peter barely had time to comfort you when a strong voice rang out over the noise. 

“Hey!” Steve shouted, not needing to say anything else to get everyone in the room silent and staring at him. Even you had stopped crying when you saw your daddy enter the room. Peter immediately spoke out in your defense. 

“She was scaring baby!” He cried out, pointing an accusatory finger at Kate.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t! I was just bringing her to dinner!” Kate defended herself, desperately hoping the super soldier would understand. It wasn’t Steve she was worried about, though; Bucky was glaring at her with ice cold eyes. 

Steve placed a calming hand on his husband’s shoulder, calming him instantly.

“Alright, everybody calm down,” Steve said, his face softening as he turned to meet your eyes. “Are you hurt, babydoll?”

You shook your head, reaching out for your daddy’s arms. 

“I promise,” Kate said, “all I did was pick her up!” “I believe you.” Steve nodded. “She just doesn’t like getting picked up by anybody but her family. It's okay, you didn’t know yet.” Kate smiled, grateful for the forgiveness. Your tears had dried, your breathing had calmed, and your tummy had started to rumble. Steve gave you a kiss on the head, and with the chaos settled, everyone began to shuffle off to the dining room. Peter mingled in amongst them until he felt a cold hand on the back of his shirt. 

“Uh uh, not so fast kiddo,” Bucky warned, pulling the youngster aside. “I saw you hit Kate. That’s not nice and you know it.”

Peter looked down at his sneakers. “I’m sorry Baba,” he said dejectedly.

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Kate. Bucky let Peter go, following him into the kitchen before adding: “and no dessert tonight!”

[gothamite-rambler]

"You had a bomb in what?!" Dick asked, calmly. Inspired by a tiktok video by Panda Redd.

Jason, Dick, and Cass were in the library. Dick stared at Jason in shock after being told that his little brother had a bomb placed in his helmet as a fail safe during his long term revenge plan.

Dick (voice trembling with anger): What the fuck is wrong with you?

Jason (raising his hands defensively): Look—

Dick (interrupting, nearly shouting): No, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? Your revenge plan involved possible suicide?!

Jason (stammering): No— not all the plans.

Cass (supportively, placing a hand on Jason's shoulder): Well, we're glad that never happened.

Dick (turning to Cass, exasperated): Cass, don’t be supportive.

He pointed back to Jason.

Dick (cont'd): Jason, what in the seven sectors of hell is wrong with you? You could’ve nuked an entire town with that bomb!

Jason (playing this off as nothing): Let’s not exaggerate. It wouldn’t be that big of a blast. It’d take out the equivalent of four blocks in a neighborhood... that’s so rare.

Dick dropped to the ground in a fetal position.

Dick (shouting): Why... why do you have that specific unit of measurement? What scenario would you be in where you’d kill that many people?

Jason sighed, crossing his arms.

Jason: Dickie, you're framing it like it’s a bad thing that I wired a bomb in my helmet. Like I was that unhinged during the revenge plan. It was just a fail-safe. You’re being so overdramatic.

Jason chuckled, playfully patting Cass on the back to join in the laughter. She simply sits there blankly, trying not to judge her brother.

Dick (now standing, righteously enraged) YOU HAD A BOMB IN YOUR HELMET!

Jason (putting on a half-hearted grin) Okay, it’s a little bad that I equipped my main method of protection with a fail-safe bomb. But I’m better now.

Dick (folding his arms tightly, pacing): That so-called fail-safe has been in a helmet that has cracked more than once!

Jason (bragging) I got lucky with the wiring, didn’t I? When I first put that in, I was learning how those wires worked without accidentally making it go off.

Dick (voice rising): Fucking what?!

Cass (placing her hand on Jason's shoulder): Jace, you're making it worse.

Jason nodded, going silent for a few seconds as Dick sat back down, resting his head in his hands in despair.

Dick (horrified): I hit you with an electrified stick numerous times... how did it not go off?

Jason looked at Cass, who shrugs, giving him the green light to respond.

Jason (with a sly smile) I’m not bad at bomb-making, but don’t worry, the bomb is deactivated. The only time I might reactivate it... is if I set it to trigger when I die.

Cass let out a deep sigh, shaking her head.

Jason (noticing Dick glaring at him): I gotta go!

Jason bolted causing Dick to chase after him, shouting like an angry parent.

Dick (yelling): Jason, remove the bomb! Remove the bomb!

Jason ran the other way; Dick’s pace didn't slow down.

Jason (pleading): That's my helmet! I can’t replace it!

Dick (frustrated) Buy another one!

Jason (desperately) Nooooo!

Dick (throwing his hands in the air): God damn it, Jason!

Cass (sucking in her bottom lip, looking concerned): Hm.

She quickly texted Bruce about the helmet bomb, asking him not to be too hard on Jason. Bruce replied back with a thumbs-up.

At TGIF with the DC Trinity

Bruce was out to lunch with his (sort of) friends his brow furrowed in thought.

Bruce (seriously): In a situation where he dies, he could rig the bomb to that and then it detonates. I have to use that if he ever turns evil again.

Diana and Clark shared a look of shock, exchanging worried glances.

Diana (leaning forward): Have you thought about getting Jason DNA tested?

Bruce (sighs deeply, shaking his head): I'm not responding to that...again.

[vermillioncrown]

ands snippet: duck tolling and retrieving

as teased yesterday, the snippet on how vivienne meets tim, and how tim gets involved with the bats in this 'verse. tim accidentally noses his way into bat business and makes a mess. vivienne is the collateral and is not happy about it.

(tim is 11, jason is 13, dick is 18, bruce is early 30s and ros&vi are mid 30s)

if you guys spot cursed aughties teen fashion/styling choices -> @rozaceous and i made choices okay

===

In a rush of sudden, sobering clarity, Vivienne stands up from the table. "I need to make a call." She glares down at the preteen across the table and adds, "Don't run. You won't like it if I have to chase you down again."

Her captive audience nods, long bangs flopping comically with his vigorous motion. Wide baby blue eyes, looking at most 100 lbs sopping wet, still clutching his skateboard in a death grip—Timothy Jackson Drake would pass as a commonplace patron of Robinson Park. Innocuous. Benign. But the trouble he's caused her over the past month…

Right. That's why it was on sight for her as she was driving off for lunch break. But it's also a reminder that she doesn't often let her temper get the best of her, despite the naysayers at the office. She's curt and all business, and the type of work that's under her purview doesn't tolerate carelessness. Every action is carefully considered and executed to the best of her ability.

And this fucking teenybopper, this little skater boy, almost ruined everything.

Even so, her reaction was admittedly…rash.

"So, I might have done something rash," she says as such to Ros as soon as her girlfriend picks up the phone.

"You’re lucky I’m in between clients and you have ten minutes until I’m at Marius’s place.” Despite the snappy comment, Ros isn’t mad. Little chuckles come out naturally with her exhales as she walks. “Which closet do we need to clear out now? Can you fit everything into the car?”

“What? I’m not keeping a child in a closet!”

“—what?”

“—huh?”

Vivienne stops. Finds herself at a loss for words with the complete overshoot of the conversation’s trajectory.

“Go on—you have me piqued. Why do you have to put a child in a closet?” She pauses for dramatic effect, letting Vivienne stew. “Which, by the way, is not where we put children.”

“Okay, this phone call was…kinda rash, then,” Vivienne admits.

“Well, you’ve got me now, no take backs.”

“Okay, fine—I saw him.”

“Him?”

“The Termite.”

“…no. Nooooo, Vi, don’t—he—he’s still whole and healthy, yes?!”

“I’m already in a fucking metric ton of hot flaming garbage, I’m not adding homicide into the mess!” Vivienne hisses. She glances back through the crack of the door, view to the table clear where Drake—the Termite of her life, as they’ve been calling him for the last three weeks of this debacle—is still sitting like someone glued him to his seat. “…it could be aggravated assault if his parents catch wind.”

“Vi, I was joking, please tell me you’re joking.”

“He’s fine. Just rumpled from some. Um. Manhandling.”

Ros doesn’t say anything for a minute. But Vivienne knows her well enough to know that she knows Vivienne well enough to know exactly what happened.

Weeks of internal investigation, legal red tape, forced paid leave, all devices checked and wiped…it all forms the toxic legal mire that’s export control and proprietary information being so blatantly compromised. Important projects due for a midterm review halted. Possible lawsuits if collaboration was involved with certain data. The budget—

Forget the corporate throat-slitting some of the other D-Suites and ladder climbers are trying to leverage with this incident—annoying but ultimately, being the equivalent of Lucius’s favored workplace poodle means he’ll swat away all detractors. She won’t lose her position and it’s not like she cares to climb any higher.

But the indignity of the damage done from the harebrained plot of a fucking kid, to her—

That he targeted her and her device for some incomprehensible reason and fucking managed—

It’s like someone knocking on her front door, her opening to answer it in good faith, and they rush in to pee on the carpet before anyone would have the wherewithal to stop them.

What is anyone supposed to do in that situation? How is someone supposed to feel after that?!

She saw him ditching class at the skate park, like he didn’t have a single worry in his little puffball bobblehead brain, and admittedly lost her shit. He’s lucky she only scruffed him—she could have strung him up by his oversized crew neck sweater sleeves and tied him into a knapsack instead.

…a fucking emo kid skater boy, with the quintessential TWLOHA crew neck, managed to hack into her fucking laptop. The audacity.

“…That’s aggravated assault, yes.” Ros’s voice breaks through the current wave of anger.

Vivienne lets out a frustrated whine in response. They both let the situation sink in for a moment as they consider their next moves. It takes more than a minute but the mutual silence is productive.

“Well, he must be terrified out of his goddamn mind right now,” Ros brings the conversation back, tone forcibly casual.

“You’d immediately fall for his ‘I’m baby’ wet eyes if you were here,” Vivienne says. The quipping grounds her, brings her back to focused assessment.

Ros laughs and it makes her feel better immediately. “Considering Kevin fears for his immortal toad-shaped soul every time you breathe around him and you actually like him, the Termite might count himself lucky to escape with life and limb intact.”

Huh. That…might be the play here.

“Of course, just a talking-to, and then I’ll send him on his way,” Vivienne promises. “Being that he nearly got away with what he did, I don’t think he understands that he’s bitten off more than he can chew. It’s only fair that someone tells him.”

“Yeah, it could be worse next time—skipping grades straight to Yale,” Ros agrees.

“All Yale, no Yob.” Vivienne’s chest feels lighter. It’ll be fine. “Okay, thanks for picking up. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Won’t be too late. Oh, and I’m sending the cavalry with the expensive lawyers your way.”

“Oh Jesus, no—”

“—bye!” And Ros hangs up.

Vivienne looks at her phone. She has…twenty minutes to an hour to impart the fear of god and federal-level criminal repercussions without outwardly threatening a twelve-year-old. In a public, if secluded, restaurant.

At least she asked for private seating?

Whatever, she’s worked with less. Vivienne rolls her neck, hears the satisfying crack, breathes in deep, and puts her Workplace Smile on before making her way back to where she’s left the Termite.

===

“You vibrating the car isn’t going to make us go faster,” Dick calls out peevishly. “Are you auditioning for the Flash?”

“Shut up, Dickiebird. I’m worried about Aunt Vi,” Jason snaps back. He does stop shaking his leg, though.

Dick’s worried, too, which is why he’s trying to concentrate on the road—traffic picks up earlier on Fridays, and he doesn’t need to add a car accident on top of extracting Aunt Vi from a possible lawsuit, on top of the information security compromise she’s currently dealing with. Jason’s obnoxious frosted tips keep distracting him in the periphery every time he turns his head, looking out the windows like he can mentally will the car to teleport.

Why the hell did Aunt Vi egg Bruce on to let Jason do that to himself? And why the hell did Aunt Ros not stop either of them?

…if Aunt Vi goes to jail for murdering a kid, justified anger or not, none of these questions will be answered, and though Aunt Ros is a deft hand with Bruce she’s not the one that wrangles the Batman.

Jokes aside, he’s not as worried as Jason because Aunt Vi’s not the type to get violent, even if her demeanor is like a psychic aura that inflicts fear based on proximity. It’s not like she beats people up, even at her workplace where her subordinates scuttle like little bugs around her. She doesn’t even swat at Bruce when he’s pissing her off, despite having the stones to jab her finger into his chest plate as she reams him out for fucking up the Batmobile’s suspensions again.

But she’s usually in control or a position of power. She’s never been made to lose her cool; at least, not while Dick’s been around to see or hear about it. This is the first time she’s been brought this low—even when Bruce was bleeding out all over her that night, Aunt Ros performing first aid on panicked autopilot, Aunt Vi was coolly deciding their next move to get Bruce to safety unnoticed. She had no qualms plucking the control fob for the Batmobile from him and told him to, “Sit the hell down, boy—that car’s more mine than His Dark Grace’s, with the amount of man-hours I’ve put in.”

(And he did sit the hell down at that tone.)

Little Timothy Drake did a number on her; Dick can’t help but feel guilty for not nipping it properly in the bud when they first met. He’s still not sure what to make of the kid. It’d be easy to write him off as an obsessed thrill-seeker, one of those nuts on the conspiracy boards he checks every so often…but what he did goes beyond the risk and effort for those types. From Aunt Vi’s recounting and Bruce’s investigation, it’s most likely that Timothy swapped her USB dongle for a fake one—a ducky—when he was visiting Drake Industries on the day she was meeting with the Drakes themselves. From that, he brute-forced connected to her laptop and was able to hold her device hostage unless she heard him out.

Aunt Vi’s never the type to let herself get pressed. She immediately shut it all down and turned her everything over to WayneTech’s IT department, which then got their internal affairs department involved. If only that was the end of that—she explained, with forced patience to Jason’s naive questioning, that she might also be in trouble with federal regulations because of the type of projects she has her hands in and what data might be compromised from the incident. And then because she’s private sector, IP laws and proprietary rights might be involved as well. So, the legal department was now involved as well as law enforcement.

“But you didn’t give the hacker anything?!” Jason was indignant on her behalf.

“Doesn’t matter. Compromised is compromised. I’d be facing federal prison if I didn’t report it and something got traced back to me.” She looked exhausted, despite being two weeks in on her forced paid leave while Lucius Fox put out fires on her behalf. “This is serious shit, Jason. Can’t just yell or punch it away.”

It took a few days for Bruce and Dick, off the books, to establish with high confidence—based on scant security footage, careful questioning, and timetable corroborations—that a kid literally walked into the meeting room of his parents’ company, plugged something in, and walked right out. The laptop has already been scrapped by IT so they couldn’t trace the connection to confirm. But there was enough circumstantial evidence, along with hints that Timothy knew their identities when they met, that this was some desperate attempt to get into contact with Gotham’s nocturnal denizens.

He sure has what he wanted, now. Bruce looked into everything—him, his parents, their dealings, contacts, family friends, family history, his nannies, hired help. Janet and Jack Drake, with Drake Industries in a bit of hot water, started arranging discreet shipping services for certain families with points of contact in Gotham. Likely, something about that situation spooked the kid into asking for help in all the wrong ways.

Thing is—Aunt Vi’s collateral. There are a few things she’ll admit to hating with a passion: unnecessary collateral (with that, wastefulness), ungratefulness, and cockroaches dead or alive. What she’ll never admit to hating: Dick’s hair (he’s working on it, it just needs a little time), being caught off-guard, and needing to ask for help. Here, she’s their collateral, caught off-guard in the worst way, she needs their help, and this could have all been avoided if they took a direct approach earlier. Aunt Vi doesn’t do upset well, so she gets angry. And she doesn’t like getting angry, so it makes her angrier.

She doesn’t have an outlet right now. All she has had to do for two weeks was to sit with her anger and think. She’s really good at thinking hard, and even better at acting decisively when she’s done.

Oh jeez…last Bruce heard from Aunt Ros, the kid’s still alive. Dick prays it stays that way.

===

They pull into the valet parking lot of the restaurant given by the address. Both him and Jason give it a once over, make eye contact, and come to the same conclusion: it’s too nice of a place for Aunt Vi to lose her shit in. Homicide is looking less likely with each passing minute. As for Timothy’s mental state—jury’s still out on that one.

It takes a bit of name-dropping to get the maître d' to lead them to the private dining parlor where Aunt Vi and her victim are seated. The main dining room isn’t too busy at the moment and none of the patrons look perturbed. That means no yelling or hysterics thus far. When they reach the parlor and the maître d' smartly dismisses himself to get more waitstaff, Dick can finally see the situation. Jason sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“Early dismissal today?” Aunt Vi dabs the corners of her mouth with the serviette before facing them. Yikes—she has that smile on. “You two must be hungry, then. Come sit; keep Little Timothy company.”

Dick doesn’t know a single kid over the age of seven that would tolerate being called ‘Little’ the way Aunt Vi does. Contrary to that, Luke’s his age and bitches non-stop about Aunt Vi condescending him, yet he’s the first to ask “how high?” if she orders everyone to jump (he also takes everything she says as gospel, but that’s neither here nor there). In the same way, Timothy looks like a bug subjected to the sun under a magnifying glass, writhing and dying under her considering gaze. Not that he’s actually dying at the table—it’s just the terrified misery on his face, and the way he squirms without showing signs of wanting to bolt. It’s like he can’t bring himself to even think of fleeing.

Aunt Vi, on the other hand, is back to her regular polish and cool affect. Lipstick without a single smudge, hair pinned, business wear tailored to the millimeter. She looks untouchable and far from the wanness of just a few days ago. That smile, in particular, means nothing good for the recipient. It’s not a happy smile; in fact, it’s not a smile at all—the expression is the socially acceptable version of a predator baring their fangs before going for the throat.

Nonetheless, he and Jason immediately take their seats. It should seem like the two of them are flanking Timothy on Aunt Vi’s behalf, but it feels more like ‘her half of the table’ and ‘their half of the table.’ Dick catches her once-over of both him and Jason, the micro-expressions of judgment before flattening, and then she reaches over to baby Jason.

“You’ll like this,” she says like it’s a foregone conclusion, neatly cutting up a portion of the fish on her plate and placing it on Jason’s. “If not, there’s another dish that’ll sit well with you until dinner.”

“I’m not being starved,” Jason protests, but he immediately picks up his fork and eats what she puts on his plate.

“And you”—Dick freezes when she turns to him—”eat a fruit and get some sunlight. Did you find your true calling as a ninja turtle up in New York?” She says ‘New York’ with the typical Gothamite sneer that’s now noticeable after being back in town.

Her comment, however, makes his face immediately heat up out of his control. But he still tries to do what he came here for; if it wasn't for Bruce's literal cracked ribs, Dick wouldn't bother being 'delegated'. “Uh, Aunt Vi, B sent us to help you out?” The way his voice cracks at the end makes him want to wince.

Jason snickers and Dick kicks him from across the table.

“No need. It’s Little Timothy that needs your help, rather,” she says, turning her gaze onto the kid in question. He looks at them with the comically bug-eyed expression that combines the remnant of fear, incredulity, and quiet awe. “If you’ll tell them what you told me?” She gives him an expectant look.

Timothy rattles off on command. Thankfully, they’ve been looking into the Drakes recently, otherwise the deluge of information that spills out of him would be a mess to keep up with. Most of what he says has been covered by their investigation, some bits add more context, and it turns out the Drakes’ lives are in more danger than their outside perspective showed.

And damn, does this kid get around.

“Very good,” Aunt Vi stops him. “I’ll leave it in your capable hands,” she tells Dick—who feels himself automatically straightening his posture—and then looks down at her watch. “Lunch ran later than I wanted. Make sure Little Timothy gets home. He could do with more supervision.” She gets up from the table and pushes in her chair, grabbing her handbag from the console table by the parlor door. “Feel free to order more if you’re hungry, it’s on my tab. And Little Timothy”—the kid snaps up at the address—”remember to tell your parents.”

“Y-Yes, Ma’am!”

The three of them wait until the clacking of her heels disappear once far enough into the main dining space, and both Dick and Jason turn towards Timothy. He shrinks back at the sudden attention.

“I’m really sorry,” he blurts out, looking miserable and contrite. “Ms. Yang said I caused a lot of trouble that could have made things worse for me, and I really didn’t mean to—”

“—kid, it’s fine—”

“—I just needed help,” he ends his verbal vomit on that browbeaten note.

Dick and Jason give each other discreet looks.

“We know, we’re gonna help,” Jason says. “It’s taken a bit of time, but we have a plan, okay?” He then peruses the spread on their table. “We should get dessert.”

“I’m down,” Dick says with a shrug. “And then let’s get you home, Timothy?”

“…Tim,” he mumbles.

“Tim—pick whatever dessert you want, and I’ll take you home, alright?” Dick coaxes the kid. “Don’t want your parents to worry.”

Jason perks up. “Right…wait, what did Aunt Vi want with your parents?” He gives Dick a quick look. “Thought she just told us to ‘handle it.’”

The distress that was slowly ebbing away with Aunt Vi’s departure suddenly wells up again on Tim’s face. He looks completely beside himself.

“She, uh, some—something about an internship? At WanyeTech.” Tim doesn’t look like he knows enough details to explain. “Which is really cool, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know what—” he clams up again. It’s apparent he has no idea what to make of anything and looks to be giving himself a huge headache with trying to detangle his thoughts. “Aren’t I in a huge boatload of trouble? I already messed up with the laptop, what if I mess up on this internship?” His hands grab at his hair. “I don’t think I’m allowed to say no if I’m being offered an internship like that?”

“Sixth graders don’t get offered internships,” Dick says slowly. “And why do you even know about them?”

“My parents talk about them a lot,” Tim explains, tone still miserable and panicked. “And I know—so maybe I’m still in trouble and Ms. Yang is going to set me up to get in trouble because she already knows—”

Jason’s expression says it all: ‘Forget I asked.’

Dick agrees. Whatever Aunt Vi did to lecture poor Tim Drake—she now lives as a rent-free boogeyman in his mind. Come what may, that’s not his business anymore. As long as Tim’ll make it life and limb intact, that’s all Dick is able to handle.

===

end summary:

tldr vivienne points out exactly the shitload of trouble tim's hacking could have gotten him into, especially because he got caught. she's also dissecting his whole plan and ripping it (and his fragile preteen ego) to shreds the entire time.

bc tim actually is a smart freak and vivienne's been around enough of these smart freaks to know you can't ignore them, the 'internship' is more like summer camp + keeping tim out of trouble + her fixating on his thought processes and going "no. wrong. do better."

the hacking investigation does go away, was hairy for a bit

he ends up following her around like a little duck, coupled with the ducky and his last name, ros nicknames him 'duckie', he doesn't end up caping in this 'verse. runs comms and ops, tho

dick to luke fox: lol aunt vi's replaced you

dick, later: i did not mean to make a 17yo start beefing with an 11yo

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

EGADS DND SESSION!! uhm session 6. (i think its session 6 I’m not entirely sure lmao) Fun fact we have two new party members/characters which are Leopol, a cyclops bard who specialises in opera singing, and Bruce, an elf bard who specialises in contemporary piano andhskjs RANT BEGINS!!

Basically we decided that Bruce was a member of the party from the start of the story but just was visiting family and Leopol hid in the van since she’s forgotten her memories and heard the band! Session 6 was basically the rest of the party asking her what she was doing in the van and making a deal that if she can sing/play an instrument she can stay with the band!

Then she tried to kill Gerard (the horse that sings emo music and pulls the caravan/carriage) since she thought he was useless but then he kicked her into a fence infront of Strahd’s castle. And then she got tied up and interrogated by mainly Sasha (pop musician lmao) who slapped her in the face and yelled at her (let it be known that the friend who plays sasha has done acting for like his entire childhood so he put on a show/gen) (also when that happened, Eddie turned to Polly and was like ‘listen I’m not saying I’d like to be in that position however-‘ and Polly stood there in shock and horror) and then the two fought- the girls are fightinggg- while Strahd himself stood there like ‘huh ok sure’ and the session ended with us being in Strahd’s castle and him explaining the party we’re supposed to play at! Also polly fucked up giving a handshake to Strahd since Strahd wiped his hand after it and Polly copied him and then got death stared ajdhsj

RANT OVER FINALLY!! SO SORRY IT WAS THAT LONG AUGH (the dnd sillies are getting to me and we’re playing another session tomorrow yaayayayaya ALSO polly is apparently between twink and bear according to quill/koymoa- like in the words of my friend who plays eddie ‘he’s a twink who could chop wood’ so idk OK THIS WAS LONGER THAN INTENDED LAURIE SHUSH

SESSION UPDATE YAHOOOOOO

i love leopol and bruce already leopol sounds so iconic. also gerard the emo horse is ANNIHILATING ME😭😭

also love that this whole interrogation was happening in front of strahd like he’s just🧍but POLLY NOOOOO augh im so sorry polly handshakes are hard

quill is right about polly btw give that twink an axe

ALSO NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THESE BEING LONG I LOVE THEM

[smww4ever]

Even More Thoughts

This post is directed to those poisoned by the concept of ‘Wonderbat’. If you have sense to know that this will never work then you’re fine. Nor is this post a recruitment effort to get you to embrace SuperWonder. Or anything else. It’s really something that should be shunned. (I’m hearing that it’s affected the whole planet.) I get it, you were smitten with an attractive actor and the flirting between these characters probably turned you on. Ooh sparks.

No just stop.

You need to have compassion and understanding for Diana. Her background and who she is wouldn’t support it.

Let’s look at our sad world. We have plenty of billionaires. No Batman. Despite whatever philanthropic efforts any of these guys do, we know that they aren’t clean. The world is a mess. They got dirt, skeletons, probably nasty deeds maybe even some cadavers stacked up somewhere in their closet. They didn’t make it to where they are by being nice. You know that.

Would you pair an immortal woman with superpowers with any of these schmucks even with their billions?

Probably not.

Here are our most notable.

Elon. He is a baby daddy to 10 kids. You want Diana to be another notch on his list?

Bezos. He looks like a classic Lex. His current lady is dark-tressed but she is no Wonder.

Alex Soros. The young offspring of Sith Lord George. You want her to dine on lizard au gratin every night? C’mon!

Mark Z. He looks like a robot droid. Even the guy playing Lex in Snyder’s franchise is based off him. Slimy.

And last but not least, Mr. Gates. I don’t even need to go there. Yea BIG nope.

With her Lasso of Truth, their secrets would come out and consequently their heads would explode. You know Di would have to put an end to evil empires in some way.

Romance? Nah.

There are others. Look how leathery, saggy they are. Why would Diana want to be with that?

There really is no purpose in Wonderbat.

Bruce is the only fictional billionaire that does good and looks handsome in his comic depictions, but he’s no match in any way for Diana.

His head would explode along with the rest of his nightly bruised body.

I’m going to hang with Alfred now. Get some tea. Because even he agrees.

Peace out✌️

This is the quickest edit I threw together. Imperfect but you get the point. Seriously meditate on this.

There are 4 nopes and a hell no way nope. The rest are omg nooooo!!!

Remember maybe hooking up with a billionaire is your fantasy but it’s not hers. (Hers is probably helping to make the world a truly better place.)

Wonderbat needs to be buried in the dustbins of comic book history. 🌬️💨

[hintofelation99]

Kate Babysits

Bruce: Kate I have an emergency.

Kate: What's up Bruce?

Bruce: A sorcerer put a deaging spell on the kids and-

Kate: And you need my help tracking down the sorcerer? No problem I-

Bruce: Actually I was going to see if you could babysit while I figure this out.

Kate just glares at him: Why can't Alfred babysit? Or your Justice League friends? Or, maybe, just maybe, you could hire a fucking babysitter!

Bruce, sighing: Please Kate, just stay back and babysit, please?

Kate: ...fine, but just remember I have no idea how to entertain kids, so if anything goes wrong it's on you.

Bruce, rolling his eyes: Sure, what's the worst that can happen?

-> 30 minutes later <-

Kate holds a two month old Damian as she looks down at a 4 y/o Duke, 5 y/o Tim, 5 y/o Steph, 6 y/o Cass, 6 y/o Jason, 11 y/o Dick, and 12 y/o Babs.

Kate: Okay kiddos, remember what auntie Katie taught you, no shooting in the house or at eachother.

Hands the kids guns.

Babs: Miss Katie, are you sure this is a good idea?

Kate: Of course it is swe- JASON! You will not try to shoot Tim! And stop chasing him before- Oh no...

Tim falls down the manor stairs, knocks out his front teeth. Kate shifts Damian to one arm and runs to the now crying Tim, picking him up and holding him on her hip, she checks him over.

Kate: Oh fuck! Bruce is gonna kill me!

Steph: Fuck!

Kate slowly turning to look at Steph: ...no

Steph, runs away yelling: FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Kate: Shit!

Dick, opens his mouth

Kate: Don't you dare! Go swing from a chandelier or something.

-> 5 minutes later <-

Cass: F- fu- fuck!

Kate: What?! How??

Steph, looking very proud: Cass and I played school and I taught her a new word!

Kate: Why would you-

A loud crash comes from the foyer.

Kate: shitshitshitshit.

Sees Dick on floor, mostly unharmed other than some bruises and a cut on his hand from a sharp metal edge on the chandelier.

Kate: What did you do?!

Dick: You told me to swing from a chandelier!!

Kate: It's called sarcasm!

Babs, sticking her tongue out at Dick: He's only 11, and my dad says that sarcasm is for adults. Like me!

Kate, looking unimpressed: How old are you?

Babs, looking very proud: I'm 12!

Kate: Well, that sucks because sarcasm is for 13 and up.

Babs looks offended and Dick sticks out his tongue at her.

Kate, shoves Damian into Barbara's arms: Take this, Tim I'm gonna need you to let go so I can bandage up Dick's hand.

Tim, now speaking with a lisp: Noooooo! I'm still sad!

Kate: Tim, please.

Tim just sniffles and gives her puppy dog eyes.

Kate: Fine! I can do this one handed.

-> 10 minutes and one bandaged hand later <-

Kate: Okay Dick, this time you stay near me.

Dick immediately treats Kate like a jungle gym and climbs on to her shoulders.

Dick: Okay!

Kate: Oh my god you're heavy, aren't you a little old to be carried?

Dick: But my hand hurts too much to walk!

Kate, rolling her eyes: Okay okay fine. At least I can still hold the baby, now where did Babs go?

Now with Dick on her shoulders, and Tim on her right hip she walks into the study to find the entrance to the batcave open.

Kate: Shit!!

Kate runs into the batcave and sees Cass practicing with all the weapons while Steph runs in circles around her. Damian has been placed on one of the lab tables near several tubes of acid, fear toxin, cuddle pollen, etc. instead of watching Damian Barbara is typing something on the batcomputer. Duke is still yelling fuck, but now he's also playing with a flame thrower.

Kate, picking up Damian with her left arm: Barbara stay away from there! Steph, Cass, come here right now! Duke, do not play with fire! Wait, where's Jason??

Looking around frantically Kate sees a holding cell. She puts Dick and Tim in there while she goes to catch the others.

Tim: Nooooo!!!

Kate: Dick, your brother is sad, give him cuddles!

Dick immediately pulling Tim into a hug and soothing him: Okay!

Kate takes away Duke's flamethrower: Do you know your abc's?

Duke, looking offended: Of course I do! I can write my name and all my abc's and-

Kate, pulling out a pen and a pad of paper: That's great, show me everything you can write.

Duke nods excitedly and Kate ushers him into the holding cell with Dick and Tim. She gives him the pen and paper, Duke starts to slowly write his name and the alphabet. Kate grabs Steph and Cass.

Kate: Hey Stephie?

Steph: Yes Miss Katie?

Kate: Duke is trying to learn how to write big words, and since you're such a good teacher I thought you could help!

Steph nods excitedly and immediately follows Kate into the cell to help. Kate picks up Cass and leaves the cell, locking the door on her way out.

Kate: Okay, Babs, what are you doing?

Barbara: Playing a video game.

Kate looks on the screen and sees that Baba has accessed the watch tower security cameras and is repeatedly turning alarms, lights, weapons systems, etc on and off. Superman and Green Lantern are freaking out while frantically searching for an invader.

Kate, nods looking slightly concerned: Okay, you have fun with that...

Kate runs upstairs to find Jason, after looking for an hour she finds him twirling a gun and reading a book in the library.

Kate: Wow, I guess somethings never change.

Jason looking up: What'd you say?

Kate: Nothing. Hey, where's your old DS?

Jason: Upstairs in-

Kate: Sweet, show me.

Jason: But I'm-

Kate: Show me now and I'll give you cookies.

Jason: hmmm... okay!

-> After grabbing the DS <-

Kate: Okay, grab all the books you want and follow me to the batcave.

They walk down to the cave and Kate puts Jason in the holding cell with Duke, Steph, Tim, and Dick. Jason is completely unphased by the others surrounding him, instead of addressing them he starts reading again.

Kate: Hey Babs, come here!

Babs: I'm in the middle of a game!

Green Lanterns screams can be heard coming from the speakers.

Kate: Wouldn't you rather play Cooking Mama?

Babs turns on all the alarms in the watch tower, turns off all the lights, and activates all major weapons before taking the DS and playing with it in the holding cell.

Kate: Uhhh, okay Cass, what do you like?

Cass looks at her confused. Kate looks around and sees a knife on the table.

Kate: Here, play with this, just keep it away from the others.

Cass happily walks into the cell while twirling the knife. Kate sighs in relief as she locks the door. She starts to sit down when Damian starts screaming.

Kate, rocking him: Shhhhhh, okay, okay. Uhhhh.

Damian starts flailing around, occasionally he's able to pull on a lock of her hair. She holds him at arms length and continues to rock him, this time it's more awkward due to her arms being completely extended. She sets him down a training mat to find something to sooth him. When she looks back on him he's giggling and gnawing at the handle of a sword.

Kate, shrugging: That works

-> 2 hours later <-

Bruce walks into the cave to see Kate asleep on the training mats, 2 month old Damian beside her chewing on a sword, and all of his other kids entertaining themselves in a holding cell that contains several knives and guns.

Bruce: KATE!! Did you give the kids weapons?!

Kate, opening her eyes sleepily: Wha-? Oh, yeah, couldn't find any toys.

Bruce: ...Next time I'm calling Roy.

Kate just shrugs as Bruce opens the cell door. Steph and Duke come running out, chasing eachother. Cass follows the two timidly. Jason keeps reading. Dick awkwardly carries a sleeping Tim. Bruce smiles takes Tim from Dick.

Bruce, as Tim slowly blinks his eyes open and yawns: Hey Timm- What happened to his teeth?!

Kate: ...uhhh, gotta go!

[ragingbookdragon]

Hell In A Cell

Batsis x Batfamily One-Shot

Word Count: 2K Warnings: Explicit Language and Violence

Author's Note: I can't believe I haven't put this one back up yet. Nothing's more fun than WWE references when you're kicking ass, ya feel? -Thorne

They could feel her eyes on them as they stared at their hands, too afraid to meet her gaze. Dick suddenly found the beds of his nails interesting, Jason and Tim kept looking at the steel seats they were sitting on, and Damian just turned towards the front. She sat opposite of them, on the bench against the other wall, leaning forward, her elbows on her knees. The last time any of them had looked, she had her fingers intertwined and pressed against her lips, her eyes cold and infuriated. After a few moments, Dick gathered the courage to look up from his nails and glanced at her.

He gave a fearful smile and asked, “Uh…sis? Are you still…mad?” Her eyes drifted to his and he visibly flinched from her gaze.

She tipped her mouth away from her fingers and seethed, “Mad is the smallest word for what I am right now.” The others flinched at her fury and looked up, taking in the image of their angered sister.

“It wasn’t that bad (Y/N). We’re just…detained…” Jason’s words died as (Y/N) turned her eyes to him.

“I told you four chuckleheads that the property we were on was protected, but nooooo, ‘we’ll just be in there for five minutes. No one is going to find out’.” She growled as she stood, flinging her arms out to gesture around them.

“Well guess what?! Someone found out! And now we’re stuck in a goddamn jail cell at GCPD, waiting for dad to come bail us out!” Each of their necks disappeared into their shoulders.

Tim spoke quietly. “At least none of us got hurt.”

“It doesn’t matter if none of us got hurt! This is going to be all over the news tomorrow! ‘Billionaire Bruce Wayne’s kids found trespassing on personal property’.” She looked at them as she snapped, “Do you have any idea what this is going to do to our reputations?!”

She turned to Tim. “What this can and will do to the company and future deals?!” (Y/N) sat back down and dropped her head into her hands. “We’ll be lucky to come out of this unscathed.” She groaned loudly and rubbed her face with her hands, sighing tiredly, “Dad’s going to be so pissed when he gets here.”

“Father will not be angry at us sister. He will understand what we were doing.”

(Y/N) let out another heavy sigh and from behind her hands, she muttered, “Oh, he’s going to be angry. He’s going to blow a gasket he’s going to be so angry. I highly doubt—”

A shout from the back of the room cut her off. “Will you five shut the hell up? God, you’ve been complaining ever since you got in here.” The comments made the four boys turn their heads to a group sitting in the back.

(Y/N) pulled her head up and turned, her voice dark as she retorted, “Buddy, I’m in a less than stellar mood right now and unless you don’t want me to show you what your insides look like—I’d advise you to shut the fuck up.”

Her threat made him stand up and he started walking towards her, his group of thugs following in tow. “What did you just say to me rich-bitch? Wanna repeat that?”

When he finally stopped walking, he was right in front of her, and she could see her brothers beginning to rise from their seats for a quick defense. She raised a few fingers in their direction, telling them to wait.

(Y/N) looked up at him as she rose from her seat, coming nose to nose with him. She pulled the most intimidating face she could muster and repeated, “I said, unless you want me to show you what your insides look like…shut the fuck up.”

The man turned to his friends and started laughing, causing them to follow in suit, then he turned back to her. “I don’t think you understand the position you’re in sweetheart.” He motioned to his friends. “We’re in Two-Face’s gang.” He motioned to a group in the corner. “And those clowns work for Joker.”

He turned back to her and reached out, shoving her shoulder. “You’re locked in here with us. Imagine what we’ll do to five rich kids that don’t have any bodyguards to protect ‘em.” The others laughed, and (Y/N) shot a quick glance to her brothers along with a nod before looking back at the man and letting out a dark chuckle. A feeling of apprehension came over them as they stopped laughing.

She flashed him an unsettling grin and leaned forward, whispering, “No pal, I don’t think you understand. We aren’t locked in here with you.” Her brothers rose, moving to her sides and she leaned back. “You’re locked in here with us.”

The man’s eyes widened, and she jerked forward to grab the back of his neck and slammed his head into the seat she’d previously been sitting on. He dropped and the cell went dead silent.

The gang members in the back had stood up, and (Y/N) looked at the ones in front of her. “Who’s next?” No one moved an inch, and she tipped her head side-to-side. “C’mon jackasses, we’re gonna be here all night. We might as well get this over with.”

The gang members looked at each other before nodding and they turned to her and her brothers. “You’re so going to regret that.”

(Y/N) tipped her head and gave a quick glance to her brothers, grinning evilly. “Whoever knocks out the most thugs gets to come with me to Tokyo next week.” They matched her grins and they got into fighting stances.

She turned back to the group and taunted, “Let’s dance.”

***

They all collapsed onto the metal benches, sweating and bleeding; (Y/N) glanced at Dick who was holding the collar of his shirt to his busted lip. “You good Dickie?”

He looked at her and tossed her a thumbs up, and she turned to Jason. “How’s the nose?” He grunted and held his nose before sucking in a breath and shoving it back into place with a sickening crunch. The others winced at the sound, and Jason let go of his nose, slamming his head back into the wall a few times.

“I’ll take it that you’re better now?” He raised a few fingers and she reached down, tearing a piece of one of the unconscious gang-member’s shirts and tossing it to Tim. “Put that on your eyebrow Timmy.” He caught it and raised it to his left eyebrow that had been spilt open.

He nodded at her and she finally looked at Damian who was continually spitting blood on the floor. “You alright Dami?”

He spat once more and looked at her. “I got a tooth knocked out.”

The others turned to him and leaned forward, trying to see. “Lemme see!”

He opened his mouth, pointing to a tooth in the bottom left of his mouth. “It was a baby tooth, so there’s no problem.”

Jason snorted, but immediately regretted it as he reached up to hold his nose; he turned to Damian. “You’re thirteen and you still have baby-teeth?” Damian’s retort was cut off by a tennis shoe whacking Jason in the head, and they turned to see (Y/N) reclining against the wall.

“Jason don’t be a douchebag.” He grumbled at her and rubbed the side of his head, but conceded, and silence filled the cell once again.

After a few moments, the sound of footsteps came from down the hall and they all turned their heads to see their father, Alfred, and Gordon staring at them in shock. They flashed sheepish smiles, and (Y/N) waved a hand. “Hey dad, hey Alfie…hey Commissioner Gordon.”

“What in God’s name happened here?!”

(Y/N) looked around at the ground littered with unconscious gangmembers and turned back, grinning. “Uh…they got their asses kicked six ways from Sunday.”

“Why?!”

“Well, first they insulted us, and secondly, they put their hands on us. So technically, we were well within our rights to whoop ass.”

Her father glared at her and rebuked angrily. “(Y/N) Wayne, not another word.” She gave him a mock salute and shut her mouth; Bruce turned to Gordon and began discussing something, and a few minutes later, her and her family were walking out to the waiting car.

They all climbed in and waited for Bruce to start yelling at them; no words came from him, but they could tell he was seething with rage. A few moments went by and they pulled into an abandoned parking lot.

Bruce turned around and let them all have it. “You’re all off patrol for two months. Reason number one, the trespassing. Reason number two, the Hell in a Cell you five had.” He paused and threw his hands in the air. “What the hell were you five thinking?”

They all looked at (Y/N) who rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Yeah sure, look at the oldest and expect her to explain.” They giggled at her and she turned to her dad. “First and foremost, I can’t believe you just used a WWE term. Secondly, they were thugs, and we were attacked. So, by default, we just responded naturally.”

“And breaking skulls and bones is natural?”

“Is that a legit question?”

“Don’t make me ground you, young lady.”

(Y/N) grunted at him. “I’m twenty-six. You can’t ground me. I don’t even live at home.”

The others watched them bicker until Bruce raised a hand. “Enough. We’ll discuss this at home.”

“Again, I don’t live with you. I live on my own.”

“(Y/N) Wayne.”

“Alright…whatever.” He turned back around and nodded to Alfred, and the car began moving once more.

After a few minutes of silence, Jason cleared his throat and nonchalantly mumbled, “Not that it’s super important right now…but I get to go to Tokyo with you next week.”

“The hell you do! I knocked out the most thugs!”

“No, you didn’t replacement. I did.”

“Neither of you Robin failures completed the challenge correctly. I won it.”

“Not to be rude little D, but you would be incorrect. I won the challenge.”

“Ain’t nobody asked you Dickhead.” This spurred an even bigger fight as the four of them began to bicker in the backseat, and (Y/N) groaned, leaning forward and rested her chin on Bruce’s shoulder.

His head tipped downwards, and he eyed her. “What’s wrong with you?”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and mumbled, “I gotta them all to Tokyo next week because we aren’t going to be able to figure out who knocked out the most.”

Bruce sighed, but a small grin crossed his lips, and after a few seconds he murmured, “You won the most knocked out, didn’t you?”

“Oh totally.”

“That’s my badass daughter.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Master Bruce! Ms. (Y/N)! Your language!”

They both glanced at Alfred and said, “Sorry Alfred.” They looked back at each other before sharing a smile, then the sound of flying fists reached their ears and they both sighed. Then,

“OW THAT WAS MY NOSE!”

“AND THAT WAS MY LIP!”

“OW YOU LITTLE SPAWN! THAT’S MY ARM YOU’RE BITING!”

(Y/N) glanced over her shoulder and looked at her fighting brothers: Jason had Dick in a headlock while giving him a noogie, and Tim was trying to remove Damian’s teeth from his forearm. She turned back around and looked at Alfred and her dad.

“Do you guys wanna come with me instead of them?”

Bruce eyed her with an eyebrow raised. “Do you really think leaving the city to the four of them is a good idea?”

(Y/N) thought for a moment before muttering, “I mean it’s not a great idea, but it’s an idea nonetheless.”

“One that’s bound to end up in a city on fire.”

“…Yeah you got me there.” She paused a slight second before affirming, “But the offer still stands.”

“No (Y/N).”

“But I don’t want to take them with me.”

“Too bad.”

“Fuck my life.”

“MS. (Y/N)! LANGUAGE!”

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

New Start (Roy Harper X Male!Reader X Jason Todd)

Characters: Roy Harper X Male!Reader X Jason Todd

Universe: DC

Warnings: None

Request: Roy Harper/Male!Reader/Jason Todd. They've been together for a few years in a polyrelationship (started out Roy/M!R) and after all the vigilante drama the three of them just want to retire. So they're moving to a new countryside house together (Lian too) and they're going through all the stuff they've collected throughout their years of being vigilantes and 'people'. They realise Jason lost his favourite book, M!R lost his favourite sweater and Roy lost his cap. They all go search for it, to find Lian asleep on her new bed with the things, surrounded by her fathers' stuff

“Alright little miss, let’s get you to bed.” You spoke up, getting up from your spot where you’d been unpacking after you spotted that Lian was falling asleep, resting her head on an unopened box. 

“Nooooo, I don’t want to!” She whined as you put your hands under her arms and picked her up and placing her down standing, before gently pushing her in the direction of her bedroom. She groaned the entire way to her bedroom, but didn’t actually stop to argue. 

“Get dressed and ready and I’ll come tuck you in.” Roy called after her as she went in her room. 

“Okay, let’s finish this box off and then we’ll go to bed as well.” Jason decided, cutting open a final box and opening the lid. You and Roy got closer to the box to help unpack it. The first thing on top was a familiar mask. A red mask, with little scuffs on some of the edges. You plucked it out, looking at it closely. 

“Where’s this going, huh?” You asked, glancing up at Jason before looking back at the mask. “Maybe we could put it on the wall.” You suggested.

“Yeah, right next to the baby pics of Lian.” Roy joked, making you and Jason laugh at the idea. Jason went back into the box, pulling out a quiver, with some arrows still inside. Roy took them, looking at one of the arrows. “I might put theses aside… maybe Lian will want to take up Archery when she’s older.” He considered. 

“Sound’s good.” Jason confirmed, diving back into the box. This time he pulled out a rather unique mask- one you used to wear daily, or more like nightly. He held the mask up to his own face, looking at you, and you cracked a smile. “This is going right next to mine on the wall.” 

“Where’s my domino mask? It can go up as well.” Roy suggeste, reaching over and pulling the box closer to look for his mask, soon finding it and presenting it as well. You all laid the masks down on the floor, and you all just stared at them for a moment. 

Looking at them made you realise just how surreal this moment really was. Just a week ago all of you had been in the midsts of you crime fighting night activity, working together as partners in crime, having each other’s back and keeping Gotham safe. You weren’t sure how exactly it started, but one night you had all gotten home, finding Lian waiting for you long after your bedtime, and while putting her to bed she expressed her fear of you three never coming home. That was the moment you all sat down, and mutually agreed it was time to retire.

You did it quickly and effectively. Jason gave a heads up to his family of his decision, who understood and Bruce even found you four a new home to settle down in. It was far from Gotham and any of the other cities full of crime, far from danger. It was in the countryside in a quiet town where everyone minded their own business for the most part, and had accepted you as the 3 dads of a little girl in the town. You’d all quickly found little jobs in town- Roy worked at the shooting range, Jason came into the local school to read to the kindergarteners and also to be a substitute for the older kids in English, and he also volunteered at the garage and library. You also had your own little jobs based around your hobbies.Everything seemed so… perfect.

“Say, I’ve yet to find my book. It’s not with the others.” Jason brought up, snapping you out your thoughts. You looked around your surroundings for it, when you realised something yourself. 

“Haven’t seen my favourite sweater either.” You mentioned. 

“Or my cap.” Roy interjected as well. You all looked at each other. “Did we forget to pack them?” 

“No, I remember packing them.” Jason assured, getting up to look around. “Roy, go tuck Lian in, we’ll look for them.” Jason ordered, Roy nodding and leaving to the little girl’s room. You started looking through all your belongings you’d unpacked- nothing had been put where it belonged, most if it in piles or moved to the rooms where they’d be properly put tomorrow. You looked again through the books and the clothes, with no such luck. Jason was looking for another box to unpack, though that box didn’t seem to exist. 

“Maybe the box got lost on the way or we left in in the car?” You suggested. You hoped you were wrong and that the tiredness of moving and unpacking was just getting to all three of you…

“Guys.” You turned, seeing Roy sticking his head out Lian’s door. He motioned his head for you both to come closer, and you did as told, quietly. You peered into Lian’s room to see what the fuss was about. 

Lian was fast asleep on her bed, curled up wearing your sweater, Roy’s hat on her favourite Teddy’s head, and Jason’s book hugged into her chest. Relief filled you knowing the objects were safe, and then your chest filled with love at the sight. All three of you smiled at the sight of her. You all walked into the room. Jason gently pried the book from her arms, resting it on the bedside table, you picked up Lian, and Roy pulled back the covers and you laid her underneath them. You took turns giving little kisses on her head, before you turned her lamp off, and you left her room.

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in! 

*Not my gif

TAGS:   @theplacewhererobindied @rebellionofthecattle @hello-love-youre-pretty @courtneychicken​  @graysonmalfoy​ @bellero​ @originalpottervengerlock​ @supernatural-pan​ @esoltis280​ @lena-stan-xavier @lady-of-lies​ @sebstanismylife​ @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980​ @cdwmtjb8​ @caswinchester2000​ @determinedpines​ @huntheimpossible

[wheredafandomat]

Fear & Desire - Legacies ❤️‍🔥P44❤️‍🔥 Friday morning

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

The rest of the week past in a busy blur of Pepper trying to arrange caterers for the Bromanoff wedding that was happening on Saturday. Cancelling the venue she originally wanted, Natasha settled on having the wedding in the compound with only her nearest and dearest around as opposed to the grandiose wedding she previously envisioned. She said that having the team, her family around her was more than enough. No one actually knew what Bruce wanted because Natasha insisted she spoke for him. When you eventually asked him, he told you he was happy as long as she was.

Half the team where helping with the wedding whilst the other half were still being avengers. You and Loki on the other hand were still of course being parents to the small child who insisted on you all laying in Lokis room and watching Disney films before inevitably falling asleep leaving no time for you and Loki to really show how much you loved one another.

Not only was Seven being extremely clingy but she was making it impossible for you and Loki to have a sex life. Whenever you’d kiss Loki, Sev would call one of you to help her with something. Whenever you’d lay next to each other, there was Sev just springing up between you. If she’d fall asleep, Loki would take her to her room only for her to wake in his arms. Usually you’d leave her with her uncle or Pepper in times like these when all you wanted was to rail Loki but if you even suggested it, Sev would throw a tantrum.

When Friday came, you were adamant you would too.

Waking up before Loki and Seven, you headed down to the kitchen to get a much needed cup of coffee considering how much tossing and turning she had done last night. When you walked in, you were greeted by Bucky who absentmindedly handed you a coffee, pulling out a chair for you to sit in.

“Thanks buck.” You yawned.

“What’s the matter with you doll?” He questioned, pulling out the seat opposite you.

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping.” You answered, taking a sip of coffee.

“She hasn’t had sex in like a week.” Nat laughed, walking into the kitchen before joining the conversation.

“Natttt” you gasped.

“And I did NOT need to hear that.” Bucky spoke, clearing his throat.

“Come on y/n, I haven’t heard any screaming from your room in a while.” She grinned.

“First of all we’re not that loud plus Loki soundproofs the room so I know that’s a lie—”

“Y/n, sorry to tell you but he doesn’t do it all the time.” Nat interrupted you. Your eyes widened as you looked at her, shaking your head as a horrified expression took over.

“What are we talking about?” Loki smiled, walking into the room with Sev on his hip as he leant down kissing you on the cheek.

“The fact that y/n needs to get laid apparently.” Bucky scoffed before the corner of his mouth quirked up into a smile as if he was about to say something else until you heard Loki speak under his breath.

“What was that love?” You prompted.

“I said you aern’t the only one.” Loki sighed, putting Seven down on your lap so he could make her some breakfast. You stood up, placing Seven on the chair. Turning around, you wrapped your arms around Lokis torso.

“Is someone in a bad mood?” You teased, running your hands over his abdomen “do you want to beg Thor to be on Seven duty tonight, I’ve missed you.” You goaded, letting your hands fall lower causing Loki to take a sharp inhale.

“Nooooo” Seven protested hearing the suggestion.

“How about I take her? You wanna girls night Seven? Me, you and Yelena?” She cooed, stroking Sevens hair.

“Nat you can’t, it’s the night before your wedding.” You disagreed, turning away from Loki who instantly missed your touch.

“Exactly, so I can’t see Bruce. Seven would be a welcomed distraction and I’d prefer it if you came to the wedding well rested if you know what I mean.” She winked.

“Sev, wanna hang out with auntie Nat tonight?” You asked her to which she thankfully nodded at. “Nat you’re a lifesaver. Right Loki, we’re going to have some fun tonight.” You sang, slapping his behind before taking the bowl of cereal from his hand and giving it to Seven.

You helped her eat breakfast whilst Loki prepared food for you. When he leant over the table, placing the plate down in front of you, you couldn’t help but turn your head to kiss him which luckily didn’t disturb Seven who was still eating.

“I hope you haven’t polished your horns yet, we’re going to get them dirty tonight.” You whispered in Lokis ear.

“You little minx.” He smirked.

The rest of the day went painfully slow, too slow. The final things for the wedding were secured, all that was left was for Bruce and Nat to actually get married and for you to get laid.

You dropped Seven off at the screening room where Natasha along with Yelena were waiting for her. You almost felt bad at how happy you were to get rid of her. With a wide smile, you made your way back towards your room.

Tags:

@eyesbluelikethetitanic

@andrizzybvbyyyy

@virtualstrawberrydinosaur

@lokiswildheartcantbebroken

@geeky-politics-46

@xygloriousweapnxy

@newtomofgods

@sharris8

@purplekitten30

@pandareesstuff

@mischief2sarawr

@immersed-in-mischief

@frostay

@sititran

[redjaybathood]

Duke being the character only to show authors perspective on other characters but not doing anything with Duke himself.

Batfam constantly bugging Jason's apartment and invading his space despite him not wanting to interact with them and being vocal about that.

Bat-Mom Selina.

1) Duke being the character only to show authors perspective on other characters but not doing anything with Duke himself.

Again, guilty. In 96 messages, Duke technically is the main character, and it's his POV, but the story itself is about finding a random teen on the doorstep of the Manor, and this teen is a freshly resurrected JPT. I do tend to write Jason-centric stories even if I killed him off off-screen before the story even started.

Look. Is it a problem? Absolutely. There's a separate Tumblr someone created that counts how many days between the fics with Duke as the main character and my fic wouldn't have been on it. I see why that tumblr exists and why people are not okay with this trope in general, and I am a part of the problem.

But.

For my creative process, it would have really helped if Duke's family dynamics were as messed up as any other Batfam character that I like. Either that, or a copious amount of therapy that I still need to undergo to let go of that aspect of characters and write just. Stories. With plots. That don't include dissecting unhealthy family dynamics.

So, again, I don't like it, but I won't necessarily judge a writer for it because of glass houses and stones.

2) Batfam constantly bugging Jason's apartment and invading his space despite him not wanting to interact with them and being vocal about that.

Ohhh and Barbara having access to all his phone numbers and such. I know in Batfam, stalking is how they show their love - the fandom attitude is, at least. In comics, they're not actually that bad about invading each other's privacy. (An exception to that I remember is Ric being stalked, but not helped, by Batman. Though to be honest, I don't really think Bruce put that much attention into it; honestly, that felt like a lie he came up with not to seem like an asshole).

Personally, I am like. No. Please leave it in 2010s where it belongs.

It's not only Jason who's the victim of such treatment but basically every Batfam member. Jason is the worst of it, because mostly, he's the one who's on the outs of Batfam, and this is authors' way of Batfam forcing their way in, through his gruff shell of fake lone-wolviness. Does that make sense?

Please note that such fics are often written by Jason in Batfam fans, so it's not that people willfully disregard his right to privacy in their writing, it's just. The way they see Batfam getting through to him, I guess. Basically, not malicious but a failure of imagination.

Bold of them to assume Jason wouldn't clock any and all bugs Batfam could install, though.

3) Bat-Mom Selina.

No. NO. Nooooo. No.

I mean, does she even want kids? Does she need to adopt kids if her partner has them? I mean, the last one I guess - you kinda need to help your partner with their stuff when you tie the knot. It might be you even share legal responsibility for them? Idk. But that also is one of the reasons I don't think BatCat should work: if your partner wants kids and you don't, it's... Not going to work long-term. Or someone's gotta compromise.

Just recently, though, I've seen a post talking about how writing good mom!Selina vs bad mom!Talia is racist and misogynistic and I agree. I especially hate it if Selina is written as Damian's mom. Thank you but he has a mother already. I also blame Tom King for that.

I might let it slide if it's a Stray AU with Selina getting herself not really a kid but a sidekick for the life of crime - Dick, Tim or Jason. Though I would say, Steph being Stray would be far more superior, with Steph messing up Cluemaster's crimes by stealing whatever he wanted to steal first.

Whereas for Jason it would be better if he gets adopted by preboot Nocturna (a thief instead of a vampire rapist). Honestly, the vibe I got from seeing Robin!Jason and Catwoman interactions in comics is, he hates her guts basically. Or at the very least, he's not impressed by her, and she doesn't really care about him either.

With Dick and Tim getting adopted by Catwoman I honestly think it doesn't get deeper than an excuse for a catboy fetish so I'm not really into this trope with them at all.

Helena Wayne is also a thing that exists, but because it's very white picket fence of DC, I tend to pretend that she doesn't, in fact, exist, even in alternate timelines.

[jmoriarty-221b]

So I saw somewhere a post that talked about how some fictional characters just have a divorce vibe going on, like, at no point in time were they ever married but they just give off that feeling that they got divorced

And now I can only think of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor having that vibe

And I spent close to an hour talking about this to my sibling and how it would be a good idea for a new DC show like, you can make so much money off of just the main Batfam alone and there are literally so many people in there that it’s just an amazing idea to have them all in a show together but kind of like a Good Luck Charlie kinda thing because there’s more than enough angst in the world

But in the case of not having enough of a budget for so many characters in one show I turned to the Superfam (Batfam is Huge like, I don’t even know half of the extended family version and that’s like at least ten characters so I could see why it wouldn’t be entirely feasible to have a show that included everyone while still being good with nice character development without having a billion dollars for the budget)

The Superfam, in my personal experience, is composed of Ma & Pa Kent (farm vibes plus I refuse to have either of them die in my AU), Clark Kent (main Superman), Lois Lane (Lana? was Smallville Lois i guess??? But idk enough about her so she’s not here), Jon Kent (Superboi II), Kara Danvers (Supergirl) & Conner Kent (Superboi I)

Now I’ve stopped watching CW shows like, forever ago??? But my brother kinda keeps up with them and basically the gist is that the ratings of every other show suck Except for the Superman & Lois show (because it’s 💫new💫) and I saw the cover of the poster like “Ah, the werewolf dude. . . mmmhhmmm that’s Lois yes, yes that’s Johnny boi, and um is that???? Nooooo, they wouldn’t do that to Conner right???? Please tell me they didn’t make Conner blonde” and I was informed that the blonde teen is Chris???? Like

Whoms’t do ye speak of

I’m not even joking but the only way I even know of Chris is from a random fanfic I read where Dick Grayson gets his own super from an alternate reality named Chris, that’s my only point of reference for this character

But let’s talk about how Conner Kent (OG Superboi) was excluded

Now I haven’t seen any episodes of this and I probably never will (no hate I’m just really unmotivated to start new shows at all) so idk if they might mention Conner or even allude to him in one scene or something

But this was my main motivator as to my new Superfam TV Show Idea

Have Lex Luthor not be a Superman villain, he’s mainly a successful businessman, a little shady but who isn’t, and he doesn’t want to Kill Superman, he just wants to be able to have some sort of viable protection against a Kryptonian in case of an invasion (see Man of Steel + CW’s Supergirl) or suddenly having a mind controlled Superman on their hands (see Justice League series or just look up what Red Krytonite does) so he makes it like his side thing to figure out ways to neutralize or hold back a Kryptonian, Clark totally thinks that Lex is obsessed with finding a way to kill Superman because they had a bad end to their friendship in high school so he’s always suspicious of Lex, Lex hasn’t really ever tried to kill him though because 1. It’s not that deep Clark ok? And 2. He’s a busy busy man with a very important job position and a company to run so does he look like he has time to harbor an obsession over someone who rejected him back in high school??? You’re more of a constant side quest Clark, so stop trying to put him on the JL watchlist ( btw ik about Lena Luthor, haven’t forgotten her but she doesn’t really play a part in this AU so let’s just have her and Kara off to the side doing their own thing ok? Ok)

Lex, Bruce & Oliver all knew each other when they were kids and went to the same school, this is just an extra detail I wanted to happen because Lex and Ollie definitely know Bruce is Batman and absolutely HATE having to deal with Brucie Wayne because “I know you’re just doing this to irritate me Bruce, you just want to see if you can make a vein throb in my forehead but I will valiantly ignore your dumbassery because I know you hate being Brucie just as much as we hate having to put up with Brucie so suck on that you petty bitch” because they bonded in ye olden days, childhood friends so to speak

Anyway so Cadmus tries to get Lex to make an investment in their company, seeing as Cadmus is shadier than Gotham when it rains Lex is basically like ‘no ❤️’ and doesn’t make a deal with them, Cadmus gets mad at not having Lexcorp financially backing them so Lex has an ‘accident’ and they steal his DNA, then they steal Superman’s DNA somehow and *boom* a Superboi is formed

Because I don’t know much about how the Core Four became friends in the first place (Robin Tim Drake, Impulse Bart Allen, Wonder Girl Cassie Sandsmark & Superboy Conner Kent) I’m just gonna go with what happens in the show Young Justice except it’s the Core Four becoming the Core Four when they liberated Conner (who at this point believes himself to be a clone of Superman and has only been given Superboy as a name) from Cadmus, same shit goes down meaning that Clark is just straight up NOT vibing with Conner, Conner just wants a mentor please, and the Bats kinda give Clark a passive aggressive treatment for not taking Superboy under his wing or at least agreeing to teach him how to control his powers, especially Tim because that’s his Bestie so yes

Anyway, YJ saves ppl and is on the news or whatever and Lex finds out about Superboy’s existence that way, so he researches this new super on his free time, finds out that he came from Cadmus and claims to be a clone of Superman, yet doesn’t have the whole power set Superman has??? Wait, didn’t Lex reject Cadmus’ proposal and the got into a mysterious accident??? Long story short Lex goes connecting the dots, hacks into Cadmus’ files, finds out he technically has a son with Superman and decides to take Superboy under his wing (I’ll go more in depth as to why Lex would want to do this in this AU later but the abridged version would be that he wants a kid but doesn’t have the time nor interest in finding a wife??? Also the radiation that made him bald as a kid also affected his reproductive system so while it’s not impossible for him to conceive kids he would have a very hard time actually getting to father a kid)

Him and Conner, who still goes by Superboy at this point in time, meet up and Conner finds out that here is a parent figure that is both available and actively wants to be a part of his life, so he agrees to get to know Lex and the series would focus on them becoming a family, with a special episode when Conner asks Lex for help in choosing a name for himself and it ends up with him agreeing to become Conner Luthor, it would be heartwarming and Mercy would make sure it happens within a day (Mercy is Lex’s bodyguard/PA but they’re also besties and she becomes the Responsible yet Chaotic Aunt as Lex and Conner’s father-son relationship progresses)

Obviously Clark becomes super suspicious of Lex getting close to his ‘clone’ and when Conner decides to go public as Lex’s son he’s like *GASP* and calls up Bruce because we need to get on this Bruce, Lex is a villain and blah blah blah but Bruce would be over Clark’s shit and hit him with that “actually, Lex was also an unwilling genetic donor to Superboy, who actually is not your clone either, and has agreed to take him in, I’ve been on this shit since they first met and the kid is doing just fine so if you keep poking your nose in their business then that’s your problem but you better be ready to pay child support bitch . . . have a good day ❤️”

The series would just focus on Conner getting to have a good parent figure in Lex and go more into their civilian lives rather than focusing on the superhero thing, Conner, Bart, Tim & Cassie have a sleepover at Lex’s house at one point, Lex totally Knows what’s up but it’s all good because these are his baby’s friends and they’re good people who are more than willing to prank Superman for rejecting his kid and giving his baby self worth issues (Mercy supports them)

Anyway, that’s basically the idea for a new Superhero Show

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Swear Jar

Bruce: So, at the request of Alfred, we will be adding a swear jar!

Tim: What the shit?

Jason: Why are we fucking doing this?

Stephanie: Yeah, we don’t have a fucking swearing problem!

Bruce: Stop! We get it! But, here are the rules, each person has to pay with their own money, when the jar fills up, then we can go on a vacation!

Harper: Okay! Fuck! Shit! Motherfucker! Ass! Bitch! Jackass!

Selina: Wrong incentive babe!

Bruce: Yeah I had this coming!

____

Dick: Okay, I want to start off today....

Damian: *jumps on Dick’s back* SNEAK ATTACK!!!!!!

Dick: *falls forward* AAAAHHHHH!!!! *gets up* Damian, sit in time out!

Damian: Don’t tell me what to do!!!

Dick: Go! Now!

Damian: Fine!

Dick: Anyway, I’d like to talk about the Tuesday incident.

Tim: Yeah, it went great right!

Jason: Ummm.... Let’s check the body cams.

--

Signal: Okay so Red Robin, take the two on the right, Spoiler, take the two in the center, I’ll take the three on the left!

Red Robin and Spoiler: *making out*

Signal: *turns around* Did you guys hear what I said?

Red Robin and Spoiler: *still making out*

Signal: DAMN IT GUYS LET EACH OTHER BREATHE!!!

Thug: OVER THERE!!! *points in their direction and starts firing*

Red Robin: *pulls his mask up* Improvise!!!

--

Stephanie: I don’t see a problem.

Tim: Neither do I!

Dick: You guys were making out when you should have been taking out the thugs! Duke was the only one on task until you guys pissed him off.

Duke: Could I permanently work with someone else?

Dick: We’ll talk about that later.

____

Orphan: RED ROBIN!

Red Hood: Yum!

Red Robin: What the fuck Red Hood?

Blue Bird: Jar, Red Robin!

Red Hood: Oh, so Spoiler could say it but I can’t!

Red Robin: Yes!

Orphan: RED ROBIN!!!!

Red Robin: On my way!!!!

____

Barbara: HAHAHA! You guys started a swear jar?

Stephanie: Yep!

Barbara: So who’s been the biggest contributor?

Stephanie: Take a guess.

Jason: *from the other room* Well eat shit you sad little fuck!

Barbara: Jason.

Stephanie: No, Bruce!

____

Damian: Dynamite is actually a pretty good song.

Stephanie: Then in that case....

Damian: Brown, let me stop you right there. It took me a while to listen to one of there songs. What makes you think I would actually listen to more. It’s a nice song, just leave it at that.

Jason: *walks by humming Fire*

Damian: How did you do that? STAY AWAY!!!!!!

____

Dick: So there is thirteen through nineteen with the word teen in it. So why isn’t eleven pronounced firteen or oneteen, and twelve twoteen or seconteen?

Duke: And that is why you don’t do drugs kids.

Damian: Grayson, quarantine has officially broke your brain.

Dick: No, seriously think about it. One to twelve, totally original numbers, then they start getting lazy adding teen at the end of four, five, and so on until twenty. Then they just add the number after that. And after twenty-nine they get even lazier and take one number, add t-y at the end of it, then add another number until one hundred. It is just so lazy.

Stephanie: Are you sure you’re not high? 

Dick: No, I’m not!

____

Red Hood: *crouching like a gargoyle behind some boxes*

Batgirl: I’m on my way!

Thug: *moves a box and sees Red Hood*

Red Hood: No need. I’M GUNNA STAB YOUUUU!!!!!!!! *jumps at the thug with a knife*

____

4 am

Bruce: Tim, go to sleep.

Tim: I’M FONE!

Bruce: You’re obviously not, now sleep.

Tim: FUCK YOU! *starts falling asleep*

Bruce: Jar.

____

Duke: *dismounts off of the high bar with a layout twist*

Dick: Looking nice, Duke!

Duke: Thanks!

Dick: You ready to spar.

Duke: Hell no! *runs out the door*

____

Tim: *doing an Instagram live stream at the manor with Dick and Duke*

Cassandra: *offers Dick four cupcakes*

Dick: Thank you Cass! OMG you are my favorite!

Tim: But yeah, I think that if there was a reality show about us it would be surprisingly boring.

Dick: *stuffing his face with a cupcake* Tim, Cass bought a ton of cupcakes, do you want one?

Tim: I think I’ll save mine for later.

Dick: You, sure?

Tim: Yep.

Dick: Duke?

Duke: I’m good too.

Dick: *stumbles and drops the trey* Nooooo! The cupcakes!

Duke: *covers his face in his hands, then looks at the camera* I remember, right when Bruce adopted me, we spent a day in the park. We were sitting, eating, and then there was Dick from across the park just running with a kite, and shouting and throwing things at us, and Tim stood up and yelled “You’re a child!” And I sat there thinking “What have I gotten into?”

____

Bruce: Okay, it has been a week and we had to get a second jar, so we’re just going to cancel the swear jar. Partially because you all ran out of money to put in the jar. Also a bit because I’m tired of filling it up myself.

Jason: So, can I have my money back.

Bruce: No.

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 6

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Comfort~

Damian! for your own health and safety stop trying to KILL Marinette!!!

Ao3

First <Previous > Next

----------------

“Marinette you need to call them,”

Marinette buries her head deeper in the pillow, Adrien tries to pull it away from her.

“Marinette you need to call them,”

Adrien starts leaning his weight into taking it away, Marinette holds tight getting dragged across and half off the bed.

“Marinette if you don't call them I’m going to call them myself,” Adrien threatens, letting go of the pillow and leaving her half hanging off.

“Nooooo,” Marinette moans nose smooshed into the floor.

“Your parents are nice,” Adrien pats her on the back.

“You’ve never seen them angry,”

“They aren’t going to be angry, they're going to be angry if you don't call,”

“Nooooo,”

“... Ops too late I dialed,”

“What?!” Marinette leaps up catching the phone as Adrien drops it.

“You’ll thank me later~” Adrien dances out of the room followed by the Kwamis leaving her all on her lonesome.

“Hello?” Tom’s voice cuts through Marinette's panicking.

“Hi Papa,” Marinette cringes shifting herself back onto the bed.

“Marinette? Marinette! Are you ok sweetie? what's wrong, are you safe, where are you, how can we-”

“I’m ok Papa, I promise,” She relaxes a bit, Adrien was right, for now.

“Oh sweetie, what happened can we talk about- Sabine! Sabine! It’s Marinette! Marinette called!”

“Marinette? Are you safe honey,” Marinette lets go of the breath she was holding at her Maman's concern.

“I’m safe Maman, I’m staying with the Waynes,” She'd ask how exactly Sabine managed to set that up another time.

“Darling, why did you leave?”

“Uhhhhhhhh,” Saying shes on a top-secret mission or can't tell them because it will put them in danger is useless, it’ll just make them ask more she has to completely shut them do- “The sunsets where it rises,”

“... What ,” Marinette cringes at the sharp tone.

“You used to tell me that when there was something you couldn't tell me, for good reason, well now it’s my turn,” Marinette had long suspected what exactly that code meant, but knew enough it meant you didn't ask questions, and you didn't use it lightly, “The sunsets where it rises,”

“Alright, alright I get it please don't repeat that,” Sabine shushes her, “Marinette it can not be used lightly, in fact, you shouldn't be using it,”

“I need to Maman, and I'm not using it lightly, I just need you to trust me, I can handle this but I need to do it without you,” Marinette sighs, she wished she could tell them everything, “I promise when I can I will explain everything, for now, I can’t come back to Paris,”

“Alright Marinette, if you're sure about this,” Tom agrees, Sabine still mulling over it.

“I am,”

“And your smart about it,” Sabine stresses, “Honey even if you can't come back to Paris we can come to you,”

“That's alright Maman, I’ll work better knowing your both safe in Paris,” Marinette relaxes back into the bed, waves of exhaustion washing over her, “Please stay in Paris for me,”

“Alright sweetie we will, just make sure to call us,” Tom soothes her, Marinette could almost fall asleep like this.

“I will,”

“Everyday,”

“I’ll try,” Marinette smiles at his demand.

“Get some sleep darling,” Sabine comfort, Marinette seconds away from doing just that, “I’m sure you’ve earned it,”

“Night guys,”

“Good night sweetie,” Marinette lets the call drop, eyes drooping low.

The door slams open and she jumps up into a defensive position getting tangled in the sheets. She doesn't have a second to steady herself as she is tackled. Marinette kicks the attacker in the stomach using the distraction to roll them over so she’s on top. She miscalculates sending them both off the bed. Marinette's side hits the ground, she groans opening her eyes to see who attacke-

“Damian?!”

“You’re an assassin!” He lunges, Marinette dosages out the way, going again for his stomach but he catches her leg this time.

“What the?” He tries to pin her but she twists her leg to get free and rolls away into a couched position, “I’m not an assassin!”

“You’re here to kill them,” Damian sends a kick her way she dodges, using the momentum to stand up and get on even ground.

“I’m not going to kill anyone!” Marinette snaps, striking first, taking the element of surprise and managing to get him in a hold, “Never have never will,”

“You were raised by one,” Damian tries to get out of her hold, she pulls tighter on his arm in warning, “You can’t be as good as you act,”

“Maybe my Maman was an assassin,” There was certainly no way a baker should know her skills, “But she changed and certainly never wanted me to be one,”

“Tt,” Damian scoffs, trying to break out of the hold with raw strength, little did he know she had him soundly beat in that department, “There's no way, no matter how hard she tries it doesn't change who she is; a killer,”

Marinette is filled with a white-hot rage before dousing it with years of practice. Damian gives up on strength starting a more covert way of getting out, if he finds the right angle he can dislocate his wrist then get the leverage he needs to get free. It was a move her Maman had shown her when teaching her this move, getting out of Marinette's hold by dislocating her wrist without flinching. It had made Marinette think that dislocation wasn't painful, even less so when her Mana had reset it herself without flinching. Then years later while they were still little Kim had fallen in the playground and cried his eyes out when his wrist was dislocated, then had screamed when it was reset. After that Marinette had figured her Maman wasn't all she had seemed.

“Damian, are you an assassin?”

“...”

“Don’t hurt your wrist, I’m going to let you out just don't attack me again,” Marinette relaxes enough so if he wanted to Damian could break out and if she wanted to she could pull him back into the hold, it was a test of trust on both sides, “Damian I’m not an assassin and I wasn't sent here to hurt anyone, I didn’t even intend to be here that just how the cards fell,”

“You expect me to believe that?” He doesn't try to break out but he certainly doesn't relax, "You show up in Gotham then your Mother threatens us to take you in,"

Threatens huh? yeah, that made more sense.

“No, of course I don’t expect you to trust me,” Marinette says gently, “Your families safety is on the line, I expect you to do whatever it takes to keep them safe,”

“...”

“You can change who you are you know,” she did it every day when she became Ladybug, and overtime the line between Ladybug and Marinette had blurred, “My Maman is the kindest person I know, she’s full of compassion and joy no matter what she did in the past, and above all, she cares about me, she cares about her family, just like you,”

“That doesn't change anything,”

“It doesn't change what you did, but it can change what you choose to do,” Marinette rubs her thumb comfortingly over where its clasped on his wrist, “And that can mean a whole lot more that what you were forced to do,”

“... let me go,” Marinette obliges and they both sit up, neither starting a conversation.

Marinette studies Damian, a severe contemplative look on his face. She's sure to others it would look like a scowl, but Kagami isn't very good at expressing herself outwardly so Marinette had learned to read between the lines, and the lines say a lot. Then there's the little fact that Bruce Wayne's son is an assassin and maybe she should be slightly more worried about Bruce himself. She rethinks all their other interactions, framing it with the new information his attitude suddenly makes a lot more sense, and is even admirable in a way.

Something catches the corner of her eye and she spots a camera peaking from the edge of the still-open door.

“Adrien!” She shouts, making Damian jump a bit which she silently finds funny in an endearing way. The phone disappears and Marinette runs to the door where Adrien is already booking it down the hall, “Adrien get back here!”

Marinette gives chase, intent on making him delete whatever picture he took no matter how cute he thinks they are. In her haste, she leaves Damian alone to his thoughts. Yet still, he's more at peace than he has ever been.

------------

No taglist :P

[inkdemonapologist]

In that Cthulhu game, Thomas Connor was the coworker we were ORIGINALLY trying to rescue from a weird cult before all this NONSENSE started, and we finally did!! We realised we should probably give him a heads up that the Terrifying Eldritch Bendy-Lookin Monster was on our side, but uh, Sammy did not really do a good job at conveying this.

More out of context quotes for Session 7 under the cut!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] I'd just like to highlight that, I think this is the first time, in the WHOLE scenario, that Joey and Sammy are actually in their own bodies!

[Henry] I think Henry is gonna scoop the Lurker out of Joey's arms -- [Joey] *whining softly* noooooo, [Henry] -- and put 'im back on his shoulders. [Joey] nOOOOO!! [Henry] What? [Joey] NO! Joey is carrying him now! You're gonna have to fight Joey for this. [Sammy] (*laughing* Sorry, Bendy belongs to Joey now, you know how it goes--) [Henry's player is abruptly disconnected from the call] [GM] Oop, Joey steals Bendy, Henry leaves!

[GM] I want it to be known that the Lurker blinked, all kinda puzzled, when it got ruffled.

[Joey] Joey specifically has an insanity of not being able to do things well if away from Henry and Sammy, so, yeah, he's going to insist on going with them. [GM] This is going to be interesting when they get back to the Studio... [Joey] Joey just spends more time out of his office, wandering between the Music and the Art Department,,, it's fine! [Sammy] Oh, just what I needed, more distractions!

[GM] Oh gee, where is our map... no, that's the Haiti map, [GM] Which I don't know why they include, honestly. If people just take off into the Whole Of Haiti, I feel like things have gone terribly wrong!

[Sammy] It's deserted enough, he'll go ahead and put on the mask, by the way. [GM] Make Spot(hidden) checks. [Sammy] *rolls terribly* HRM. Well. [Joey] Sammy has put on the mask! [Sammy] I... see... the inside of the mask,

[Joey] I was wondering how old you are? [GM] The Lurker looks down at his fingers, seems to decide this is entirely inadequate, and then kinda shrugs.

[Joey] Do we want to try to listen in to the huts and see if we hear snoring? [Sammy] We have the Lurker! [Joey] I'm trying to understand the phrase "we have the Lurker," are you implying that we’re just like, "time to kill everyone!" [Sammy] .......... I mean, yeah?

[Henry] Once we have Tom, then, if needed, we can set the Lurker loose. [Joey] If he's interested in that. [Henry] Well, he always seems pretty gung-ho for murder! [Joey] *looks at the Lurker* [GM] He kinda shrugs with a smile. "There's not a lot to do up here!"

[GM] Tom's more baffled than offended, just, this is not what he expected, Joey Drew in the middle of the night trying to rescue him from a cult. [Sammy] (Do any of us ever expect that, really?)

[Joey] We have a bit of help with us. Please do not punch our help. [GM, as Tom] He rolls his eyes, but nods. "As long as they don't wake me up when I'm sleeping, we should be fine." [Joey] *taking this personally* Did you want me to wait until morning? Would you like to go lie down again?

[Sammy] (Tom "Let's Just Punch The Door Open" Connor is not good at stealth? WHAT A SURPRISE!)

[Sammy] Sammy will make sure the amulet is not visible on his person, so I guess he's going to have to finally button up his shirt. [Joey] *sad Joey noises in the distance*

[Henry] Henry is going to mentally poke the Lurker, and-- [Sammy] ("How's it going!") [Joey] ("'sup dude?") [Sammy] ("ARE YA WINNING, SON?")

[Henry] Henry is going to tell the Lurker that he can come back if he wants -- [Joey] (Or you can keep playing with your friends!) [Henry] -- or you can keep having fun, I guess! [GM] Henry can almost feel the Lurker light up, but it's at the coming along bit. [Sammy] (OH NO. NO NO NO) [Henry] (NO THAT'S TOO CUTE!!!)

[Joey] Sorry, Joey is still rolling terribly on his smart dice.

[Sammy] Sammy's gonna try to hold Joey down-- [GM] About then, the Lurker shows up! [Sammy] Oh, nevermind, Sammy's not paying attention to Joey.

*trying to get the Lurker to carry an injured Joey* [Sammy] Okay, cool. Sammy will heft Joey up and, uh, offer him up to the Lurker, I guess. [Henry] (A GIFT, FOR MY LORD!)

[Sammy] Look, if Tom runs off at this point, that's a personal problem that we no longer have to deal with!

[GM] Tom wants to know if you know where a hospital is. [Sammy] Uh, DO we know where a hospital is? [Henry] ....technically -- [Sammy] Not that one.

[GM] Make a s-- [GM] --no, wait, you're not in the-- [GM] --yeah, nevermind! : ) Later. [everyone in unison] uuuUUHHHHHHH???? [Henry] DM???? DM?????? [Sammy] EXTREMELY OMINOUS, [Joey] Looks at all the different skills that start with S,,, [Sammy] Anyway yeah! We won't make any checks, because everything's fine!!

[Joey] Joey is going to do his best to look like a completely normal well-composed person!

[GM] "How did you know we would be here?" [Joey] I didn't. I've been carrying this for quite a while. [Sammy] (I MEAN, HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH, TECHNICALLY,) [GM] "You just... happened to be in the cemetery?" [Joey] I'm doing research! For a Halloween cartoon. Where else am I going to be? [GM] ...I don't think this actually requires a Fast Talk roll.

[GM] Meanwhile, Sammy gets to make a roll to see how long it takes them to find a cab at 6 am! [Sammy] Is this a luck roll? I'm super good at those. [Sammy] *rolls* [Sammy] Uh. A while. [GM] Probably Joey's able to catch up before Sammy manages to flag down a cab. [Sammy] I like the idea that it's not that we haven't found a cab, it's that we haven't managed to flag one down. [GM] One stopped; Sammy did such awful French it drove away. [Sammy] One drives by, it doesn't even stop; Sammy just swears at it,

[Sammy] Sammy will look him over and just ask, "how'd it go?" [Joey] Joey winks at him. [GM] The Lurker does it too. [GM] Experimentally.

[Joey] Joey wants to grab the first cab, shove Tom in it, shove some money in his lap, and French the cab driver to take him to a normal hospital. [Sammy] (tHANKS FOR THAT WORDING,) [GM] That's one way to Fast Talk!

[GM] Well, Joey, you are considering that Bruce Northeast may be a fine anthropologist and studier of cultures, but he is an amateur of the occult, and you brush him aside and start correcting mistakes. [Henry] This feels right.

[Lurker] So you know before, when you were all gung-ho about helping, with the host and the ritual, and serving and all, [Sammy] ... [Lurker] And you kept talking about sheep? [Sammy] Ah.

[Joey] How big is this ritual circle? [GM] I mean, game-size, big summoning circle situation? [Henry] Yeah, y'know, summoning circle size!

[Sammy] (WELL here's the thing: when we made this plan, THE LURKER WASN'T OUR SON.)

[chyornaya-vdova]

She's gone, come Over

A collab with panda365 aka @gammacousin

Tony's made a stupid Titkot Challenge on Pepper and wants Bruce to do the same to Natasha. Obviously Nat is not amused and Bruce has to fear for his life.

AO3   ff.net

Tony’s whining again, grumbling in the lab with puffy eyes and a scrappy blanket over his shoulder. He jumps when Banner enters the lab, the door slammed behind him.

“What’d you do? Pepper kicked you out?” Bruce asked, wondering what Tony's done to make Pepper that furious with him.

Tony tried to compose himself, but failed. “Uh nothing. Just a joke. She didn't take it that well…“ He mumbled, looking away from his science bro.

Bruce sighed and held the bridge of his nose. “What did you do?“ Sure, it wasn't the first time this happened, but Pepper sounded more angry than usual when it came to Tony's shenanigans. And he should know, he was an expert when it came to anger.

“You know the latest app all the kids are using?“ Tony explained with a flourishing hand gesture “I tried one of the trends out. Didn’t end well.”

“And?”

“Annnd I texted Pepper a minute after she walked out the door and said ‘okay she’s gone, you can come over now’. And I waited.“

Bruce sighed again, long and deep. He could already guess what happened next. What did Tony expect to happen? That she won't be furious and won't throw him out? He held his forehead and thought about what he should say. This was just too ridiculous.

“You know how her nose twitches when she’s mad?” Said Tony, before he could think of anything to say.

“No.” Was all he could say in that moment.

“Well! It was twitching!”

“Is that really important right now…?“ He mumbled, not getting out of the sighing circle anytime soon.

Tony was supposed to be smart and then he did something as stupid as this. When Bruce looked at his friend again, he knew something bad would happen soon. Tony had this weird look on his face. As if he had a stupid idea that'll bring them into lots of trouble.

“No.“ Said Bruce before Tony could vocalize out his idea.

“I haven't said anything.“

“I said no.“

“What if I dare you? I’ll make a bet!”

He'll regret asking, “What bet…?“

“I’ll give you $500 to put towards your new microscope if you try the trend on Natasha the next time she leaves.”

Banner scoffed and put on his lenses, ready to focus on working, “I don’t have a death wish, thanks anyways.”

“Dude! Bro! Come on…! You have to live-!“

“Yeah! I’d like to.”

“$700…$1,000…eternal bragging rights with the boys? It’s bad luck to keep telling me no.”

“Look, when the time comes where Nat needs to take me down, I don't want it to happen like this, okay?“ Bruce grumbled. As nice as it sounded to have a new microscope, his life was at risk. It's not the same when Pepper's mad. Yes, she was creepy when angry, but Bruce swore to never ever get on Nat's bad side. Ever. And he was quite sure once she 'killed' him, the other guy would be next.

Tony tapped at his knee, jaw twisted in thought. “I’ll bargain with Cap on the next mission! No Hulk. Period. You can science behind the tech screen while we kick butt. Deal?”

Bruce bit his lip so hard it almost bled. He groaned, tugging at his curls frustrated. Before he could answer he needed to look at his options. Would it be really worth it? “I guess it won't matter if I'm dead...”

“If you live it’s an amazing story.”

He whipped around and counted on his fingers. “No Hulk on the next mission, a brand new microscope, and $50,000 down on a new house for Nat and I.”

Tony was visibly cringing. “Shi-rrr. Sure. Dang you’re expensive upkeep! One condition- this is all recorded via the security tapes for my viewing pleasure later. Okay? Deal?“

He already knew why Tony wanted it recorded. “You're gonna put the footage on YouTube and this children’s app, aren’t you?“ He asked, sighing once again.

“Nooooo, of course not! Who do you think I am?“ A liar. That's what he was.

Bruce hesitated for a few more minutes, weighing all his options again. Maybe if he already had the house, she probably, hopefully would be less pissed? He was thinking about surprising her with it anyway, so why not use it as a method to prevent his imminent death. Bruce sighed. “Okay. Deal.“ He already regretted it...

-------------------------------------------------

Natasha suiting up for an errand always took twenty minutes. She’s lingering in the hallway and strapped on her gear and a knife in a secret holster.

She yelled with her short hair bouncing, “Bruce! I’m getting sandwiches for lunch, what do you want?”

“Is the salami going to threaten your life?”

He pointed to her holster.

She smirked, tugging her belt a little tighter and reached for the keys, “Not if I kill him first.”

“Where are you going?”

“Whatever I see first. Tony's paying of course.“ Said the redhead, as she held up Tony's credit that she kept stealing from him.

“How-? You’re going to get caught one of these days.”

“I’m a spy, Vrach.” And it's not like Tony made it difficult for her. It was easier than stealing a lolly from a baby.

Bruce rolls his eyes, looking her over with a thought. “Do you have your phone on you?”

She tapped her side. “Yep. Should I text you where I end up? Can you text me your order?”

Bruce smirked, already trying to hide his evil thoughts and the unhinged nerves that accompanied it. “Yep! Sounds great!”

Natasha made sure she had everything she needed, before kissing Bruce's cheek. “Okay, I'm off.“ Bruce gave her a little wave, as she left.

He bit his cheek and watched and waited. Maybe if he lingered a bit longer she’d be halfway to pick up their lunch. He’d have a full half hour to prepare for the explosion.

Or maybe Natasha would just laugh it off...find amusement in the prank. Heck, she lives with a bunch of guys. She’s used to this...right?

“R.I.P, me...” Bruce reached for the phone, tapped his messages and clicked her name. He typed quickly;

‘She just left. You can come over.’

As he hit the 'send' button he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Now he had to wait...

He stood and dropped his phone back onto the table and circled around to head to his private office. He lifted a hand to the door handle and heard the sound of screeching tires pulling back up to the tower. Someone was driving recklessly. Dangerous considering New York streets. He entered his office and swung the door lazily closed. It sprung back open and hit the wall, forcefully. Almost as loud as the screech that followed...almost.

“Robert Bruce Banner!”

He cringed and looked up, trying to play innocent. The green shade in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks did nothing to help the situation.

Natasha stood there, his phone in her hand with her pupils the size of full on quarters.

“What. The. Hell?!“

“Uh-”

He couldn’t get a word in. She was talking again. “Who’s ‘she’?! ‘She’ who?!”

“She uh.. “ he stuttered, English shipping his mind. “She you.”

Natasha lifted her eyebrows. “Me. So I left and you thought it would be a good idea to call over your, what, your other girlfriend?!”

“I don’t have another girlfriend-“

“Did you realize you were texting me?! Who were you trying to text?!“

“Well, uh...“

“Give me your phone!” She dropped her head and charged like a bull, searching his pockets like an unhinged rabid animal.

“Natasha!” He squirmed away, receiving a slap to his shoulder in the process. “Ow!”

She screamed, pivoting. She dropped her own device in her circle, scrambling to locate his device. “Where did you put it?!”

“Natasha!” He followed her down the hall, finding just the slightest amusement in her demeanor. If she wasn’t a trained killer, unraveling his significant other might have a bit of play to it.

She slammed her hand on the table and lifted his phone, her lip trembling as she went off in a mumbled Russian. Bruce would prefer the screaming to the whispers. He knew she could hurl a knife in his direction at any moment with just the flick of her wrist.

“Betty?! Were you trying to text Betty?! You texted Betty, didn't you?!”

He looked at her, softly and kindly, trying to take a seat at the table she was hunched over at, frantic with his phone in her hand.

“Hey, honey-“

“Don’t you honey me! You’ll answer the damn question!”

“Okay, okay!” He lifted his hands in surrender. “Easy! Just take it easy.”

…there’s the knife. An inch away from his throat. Natasha held her frown, immovable in her position. “Answer. The. Question.“ She growled at him and it was pretty frightening.

“I will. I will. Let's talk, okay?” He managed to squeak out.

Romanoff glared at him for a few more seconds, before tucking her blade and hurled it at the wall, shattering a glass in the process. She forced a grin and dropped his phone. “Okay, let’s talk…”

“It was a bet, Nat.“ he grinned nervously, “I didn’t, mean to-.“

“Tony? Was it Tony? It was Tony, wasn’t it.”

“Nat. We’re just talking.”

Natasha tugged her jacket in a huff, standing a bit straighter with her same intimidating eye contact. Her jaw was tight, no doubt grinding his heart against her molars.

“It was a prank- that’s it.“ He reassured her as honestly as possible.

Her head tilted, an eyebrow raised. It was crystal clear that she didn't believe a word he said. “Really. That’s it?”

“I might’ve. Well I might’ve...”

“Talk, Robert!”

“I made a bet! Alright? I made a bet with Tony.”

She crossed her arms, her death glare was still there. “With Tony.”

“With Tony…it was a big bet.”

“Did you gamble away a kidney?”

“No…just...listen-“

“I am listening!” She hissed impatiently. Yes, he understood, she just wanted him to get to the point.

He looked up, those bright puppy dog eyes she would like to tear out at that moment, “Without cutting me off?”

Natasha walked over to her knife, took it down with a huff, and sat back at the table with a boot on the chair. With her fingers running along the blade she nodded ever so slightly.

“I’m going to die...” He mumbled to himself.

She nodded again, still staring at the knife. “We'll see. I'll be the judge of that.“ Nat answered, who obviously heard his mumbling. It was true, though. His life was in her heavily armed hands. It's usually a good thing, but he's never been on the receiving end before...

He laid his hands on the table. “Alright. First of all, there is no other girlfriend. Just you. You’re my everything.”

Natasha snorted with sarcastic laughter, again not believing anything he said. “Listen! Please. I made a bet with Tony, for us. For you and me. He was being stupid, he wanted me to do something equally stupid, so I said I would if he gave me $50,000.”

Now she looked up from her knife with a raised eyebrow.

“For a house! Tasha! Put away the judgement for ten minutes, I swear you can cut me open when I’m done talking.“ He sighed and crossed his arms. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Natasha looked back down at the knife in her hands. A few seconds ticked by. A minute. A very long and agonizing minute. “And that...that’s worth giving me a heart attack?”

“Well, uh…“ It kinda was, since now they had the house, but he still feared for his life and half lied to her instead. “No. No it’s not. I'm sorry.”

“This wasn’t funny.“ She scolded. Of course she was right. He knew it from the beginning.

“It wasn't.“ He agreed immediately. “Forgive me?”

She kicked the chair in front of her, still glaring. “I need a ten foot radius for the next 48 hours.”

“Sooo, I’m not forgiven.”

“I’ll think about it.” She reached back for her keys. “You never told me what you wanted for lunch.”

“Oh. Yeah. Well if you’re going to-”

“No no. You’re going with me. You obviously need to be supervised since apparently you can’t behave when I’m not around.” She scolded as if he's a little kid.

“It was a stupid prank!”

“Stupidity has its consequences. Get in the car.” Natasha turned around to go outside, but he wasn't quite done with her.

“Nat?“ She stopped and just looked at him over her shoulder. “Let's hug it out?“

“Ten foot radius.“ She reminded him, but he wasn't having any of it. Bruce opened his arms and gave her his best puppy look. The redhead glared at him and they stood there for a few seconds. Then, she eventually gave up and came back to hug him. Bruce wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her as close as physically possible. “You're still not off the hook.“

“I know. You can punish me all you want. I deserve it.“

“You sure as hell do. You have five seconds left.“ Bruce listened as she counted from five downwards and only let go when she reached one.

“I love you, Nat.“ He said, but she answered with something he should've expected but honestly didn't in this situation.

“You're a dork.“ Natasha turned around to leave the room and on her way she waved at him to follow her, which he did.

“Well, I heard chicks dig that.” He couldn't help but reply, which earned him a slap on his arm, this time more gentle than before.