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quiet-saint · 4 months ago

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"𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳"

Pairing: Vergil Sparda/reader, Vergil Sparda/you

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: light/nsfw mention near the end. mdni!

Summary: You had a close relationship with V before he reconnected with Vergil. Not quite a lover, but you were close with V, and you miss him. Vergil misses you too. However, you two rarely speak to each other. That changes when you fall sick and Vergil decides to help.

A/n: First time posting anything I've written, please be kind! Hope this isn't too ooc as I'm still getting the hang of him. Also I wrote this while super sleep deprived lmao but if I don't post it now I never will. Not really proofread.

ִ ࣪𖤐

This is not the first time he has entered your room as you sleep. Despite his quiet and even cold demeanor toward you during the day, he cannot help but take this brief night time visit. He doesn't do this often. Only when he fails to ignore the persistent, foolish worry that you're gone in someway or another. He does it to reassure himself that you are here. Real. Breathing. Safe.

His pale blue gaze trails over your sleeping form. He takes in the sight of you, the hair that covers part of your face as you rest, your lips parted. He watches as your chest rises and falls with deep, even breaths. His fingers itch to brush the hair from your face but he resists.

In the two months since his return to the human world you have been a beacon of familiarity and even comfort, although you two hardly speak. You two barely acknowledge each other on most days and when you do, he feels a twinge in his chest.

When he was split, you and V grew to be rather close. He often replays those memories, the way you pressed yourself flush to V's back, molding your smaller frame against his. He can feel it too, distantly within his mind. Recalls the way you pulled him back against you as you leaned against the armrest of the couch, resting your chin on his shoulder, hands pressed flat over his stomach.

Cute, how you seemed to try and surround him, envelope him with your body, your hands pressed to his stomach, knees bent on either side of him.

He recalls the way your breath fanned over his ear as you rested your chin on his shoulder, listening intently as he read to you. So small and delicate. Fragile. Yet you somehow, oddly enough, managed to make him feel secure. Safe. Wanted.

V is him and he is V. Although he knows you are aware of this, Vergil cannot help but wonder if you care. If you miss him. Vergil takes one last glance at your sleeping form before silently exiting your room.

ִ ࣪𖤐

You wake to a scratchy throat and a faint ache within your skull. The infancy of sickness. Dread, annoyance, bitter realization as you climb out of bed, bare feet on the cold floorboards.

You take a shower and get dressed before heading downstairs, mentally trying to prepare yourself for a long, boring day at the desk answering calls in Dante's absence. Most of which will probably be intended for another business. You'd made a bet with Dante and lost. A rarity. This is the price you pay.

You don't bother getting anything to eat as every swallow is irritating, opting instead for tea that ends up going cool and you don't finish it. It sits on the desk near the phone, half-full. The calls are few and far between as you sit, chin in hand, head aching. You have half a mind to crawl back into bed.

You fall asleep, cheek resting against the back of your hand on the desk as if you were in school again. You wake to the sound of the front door opening, sitting up groggily, stretching your arms above your head.

Your head turns, expecting the joking, laid-back twin but your greeting dies in your throat as your gaze lands on Vergil. Posture perfect, straight. Unlike V's. His eyes, pale blue and calculating, land on you for a moment. The eye contact is brief, his expression indifferent as he enters the office area. You tear your gaze away, resting your elbow on the surface of the desk, slouching as you place your chin in your palm.

"Where is Dante?" Vergil asks, voice low and even. You stiffen a fraction having not expected the question. You glance at him and lean back in the desk chair, shrugging with a sigh.

"Don't know really. Out." You answer, the ache and scratch in your throat comes through, your voice husky. You swallow and irritation follows the movements of your throat.

"Why?" You ask, a slight tilt to your head as you drum your fingers along the cool wooden surface of the desk, pinky finger dragging over a chip in the surface as you avoid his stare.

"I called twice." Your face grows warm.

"Shit." You say, shoulders slumping slightly. "Sorry I—"

"Fell asleep?" Vergil interrupts, a faint lilt in his tone. You question if you heard it correctly. "It's no matter. I took care of it." He finishes as your eyes flicker to him sheepishly, pad of your pinky finger rubbing over that chip repeatedly as Vergil crosses the floor and ascends the stairs, looking regal as ever. Not a wrinkle in his attire nor a hair out of place after his job.

Your ears strain to pick up on the soft click of his bedroom door. When you hear it you sag in the chair with a sigh. How did you not hear the call? That shrill tone? You run a hand over your face, silently hoping you didn't miss any other calls. Your eyes go to the clock. Close enough.

You stand from the chair, stretching, groaning at the ache in your back and head. You make your way upstairs, doing your best to avoid the known creaky spots. Your room is located on the right and down the hall from Vergil's. You shut the door behind you with the heel of your shoe. A shiver runs up your spine, goosebumps blooming along your arms as you change into sleepwear, leaving your previous outfit to pool on the floor by your dresser. The sheets are cool as you climb into bed and curl up on your side, head feeling heavy as it hits the pillow. Sleep falls over you almost immediately.

A welcome relief.

ִ ࣪𖤐

Vergil remembers, yes. He can recall the way your body felt pressed at his back yet the feel isn't exact, always a little distant. Foggy. The sensation more like an echo. Vergil won't say it out loud but he misses it. The way you would slot your fingers together and press a kiss to his knuckles. Sweet, gentle, lavishing him with pure unabashed affection. Warm and intoxicating.

"Here." He says, voice low in the quiet of your room as he hands you pills and a water bottle. This is him returning a bit of care, regardless of how mechanical or awkward it may seem.

You cannot find it in yourself to ask any questions. You pop them into your mouth, swallowing them down, wincing at the lingering taste of the pills. The water bottle is in your other hand as you sit in bed, blanket pooled around your waist. Residue is in your throat burning faintly as the pills nearly got stuck as you swallowed them dry. He pushes the bottom of the plastic bottle to your lips, a silent command that you obey before falling back onto the pillow, head throbbing. A small sound of discomfort emits from your throat as you close your eyes. Again, you can't find it within you to care.

Pitiful, he thinks, though there is the ghost of a smile on his lips.

There are no footsteps to signal his departure. Just the sound of the door opening and closing behind him. A pang of hurt in your heart follows his absence which you attempt to tamp down. Sleep pulls you under shortly after.

Vergil returns sometime later in the night, the door clicking closed behind him. You stir at the soft click and the feel of another presence in your room although you are much too tired and sick to open your eyes. Vergil walks over, brushes strands of hair from your damp forehead before placing his hand flat against it, palm warm as he holds it there for a few seconds. He traces a finger down your temple, curving around your jaw. You lean into his touch just a fraction and he nearly pulls away. Nearly. He cups your cheek, thumb brushing along the area just below your eye.

"Go back to sleep." He murmurs.

You do.

ִ ࣪𖤐

The next day passes in a fog. Your day is spent sleeping or watching the sun set and color your room before it grows dark. Your head is still heavy, though it aches less. Your body is weak, feeling all too light and weighed down simultaneously as you push the blanket off and get out of bed.

A small wave of dizziness washes over you but passes quickly. Tired, so tired despite all your rest. Your feet move on their own, head almost empty as you cross the bedroom floor. Goosebumps bloom along your skin as your fingers wrap around the door handle and pull it open, wincing a little at the slight creak it gives. You step out and don't even bother closing your door.

Your bare feet patter quietly across old floorboards, a slight throbbing behind your eyes. You nearly stagger over the narrow carpet that runs down the middle of the hall, the corner of it folded. You groan softly before continuing toward the end of the hall, finding yourself standing outside Vergil's room. You don't quite know why...

A moment of hesitation on your part. Your hand is raised just a couple inches from the thick wood, ready to knock. You swallow and give a soft, borderline tap. Hardly audible and yet...

"Come in."

Relief floods you as you aren't turned away. You open the door and step into Vergil's room. It's your first time being in his space. His bed is neatly made. There's a small bookshelf near his desk. The light from his bedside table is soft and golden. You close the door behind you.

Vergil is seated in an armchair near the bedroom window, his ankle resting over his knee as he reads. The curtains are drawn almost all the way, leaving just a slight gap. Rain trails and splatters on the glass. You approach him, limbs feeling heavy, your head light and your heart aching. He glances up from the top of his book, pale blue eyes meeting yours.

"May I?" You ask quietly, voice husky and throat sore.

Vergil eyes you for a moment. He sets his foot down, making his lap available. His arms on the armrests, book in one of his hands. “You may.”

You step forward and climb into his lap somewhat clumsily. Your knees on the cushion on either side of his thighs. Immediately you lean your cheek on his shoulder, your arms snaking around his middle. Vergil tenses briefly before relaxing. Hesitantly, he brings a hand to your back, rubbing slowly and soothingly up and down your spine. You practically melt at the feel, eyes closing. Vergil is warm, a different feel than V, wider and sturdier, but they smell the same.

Safe and comforting.

This close, Vergil can smell the heat of your fading fever, the way it seems to amplify your normal scent, sweet and heady. His hand instinctively presses firmly against your back, as if trying to bring you impossibly closer and he fights the urge to shift, to bury his nose in your hair.

You are a warm, addictive, comforting weight and Vergil is all too touch-starved. Heat pools in his lower stomach and he clenches his jaw, brings himself under control with a few measured breaths. Vergil counts the times his hand drags up and down your back until the arousal fades.

Your limbs have gone limp, your breathing is deeper and the corners of Vergil's mouth pull into a small smile. Proud and content, he drinks in this soft moment of vulnerability.

#vergilxreader #vergil sparda x reader #vergilxyou #vergil sparda x you #vergil x reader #my writing

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weepingwillowwonder · 2 months ago

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guess who back w answers & clarification-

lil bit of clarification(?) for my last request, i was thinking some hc of him getting all dolled up/in drag (tucking(???), getting his makeup on, doing his hair/wig, choosing a dress, etc.) and the reader getting ABSOLUTELY FLUSTERED CAUSE LOOK AT HIM-

maybe he has a show? he preforms for us/makes us watch a public show?? asks us what we think??? if we like this dress, or that one, this eyeshadow with this eyeliner, what heels we prefer etc. then, idk… FucksTheReaderWhileStillInDrag-

(srry if this was a bit of a rant lmao)

Hello again!!!!!

Okay sooo, low keyyyy I didn't exactly follow the prompt 👉👈 BUT I would consider making a part two if enough people like it. ANYWAY here ya go!

Dragqueen!Angel Dust x Reader [NSFW, MDNI 🔞]

CW: Suggestive content, Teasing, A bit of touching with Angel's feet

The most exciting part about watching Angel perform was being there beforehand to see him get dolled up for the show. You'd sit quietly as he shuffled through his closet, pulling out the most glitsy, most glamorous, items that he had. His eyebrows would furrow and his lips would be pursed in a pout as he contemplated his options.

Angel wouldn't notice you checking him out at first, but when he did, he would lock eyes with you, first giving you a look of surprise, then a flirty smirk. Sure he wasn't fully dressed up yet, but that was exactly it. He wasn't fully dressed yet. Seeing him wrapped in a towel after his shower, already was getting you hot, and even though he didn't acknowledge it, the look on his face told you he already knew.

"Whaddya think?" He'd ask holding up two outfit options while his other hands rested on his hips. You knew he wanted you to choose since he genuinely valued your opinion, but you couldn't help but give him the most honest answer. "I think you look good in everything.." you mumble shyly, averting your eyes back to your phone. You miss the slight pink tinge that appears on his face and he turns around considering his options again. When he seems to pick one and heads back into the bathroom, your eyes flicker up to watch the door shut behind him.

As expected, it takes sometime before Angel comes out of the bathroom again. You already knew Angel normally took his time getting ready, but preparing for a show was a completely different ballgame. Luckily for you, Fat Nuggets was keeping you company in his absence, plus it gave you plenty of time to cool off.

When the the bathroom door finally clicks open, Angel emerges mostly put together. His head tilts to the side as he puts on his earrings and walks back to the closet to pull out a pair of heels that more than compliments his dress nicely. Your mouth falls open embarrassingly as you watch him move around. When he turns to look at himself in the mirror, you see that he has a hand on his chest to keep the mini dress he wore from falling, the zipper also undone in the back.

"Hey, would you mind giving me a hand?" He give you a knowing smile through the mirror and your entire face heats up as your mouth immediately shuts. "Y-yeah sure!" you squeak out embarrassingly. He stands still as you rise from the bed and approach him, unsure hands reaching to brush against his back. Its not like you and Angel hadn't been this close before, but somehow it felt more intimate this way. The silence bringing forth some sort of tension in the air, only broken by the sound of the zipper.

When you're finished, you remove your hands and take a small step back allowing him to fully look at himself in the mirror. "Thanks dollface, promise I'm almost ready..." he gives you a cheeky grin before grabbing his shoes and sitting on the bed. You roll your eyes jokingly as your fingers motion in air quotes, "uhuh yeah 'almost ready.'" Angel sticks his tongue out at you and awkwardly bends down to put on his shoes, in an attempt to avoid flashing you as his dress hikes further up his thighs.

"Oh here, let me help!" You offer, getting on your knees before him and slipping on his shoes. As you buckle the clips together, you hum as he murmurs your name above you, "You know...you clean up nicely.." he confesses, eyeing you the same way you were to him earlier. Normally when you rendezvous with Angel, the setting is casual. When he invites you over, you might go out for drinks or stay in to watch a movie, among other things. But it would be your first time seeing him like this.

You tighten the last buckle of his shoe before you respond, "You do too." Your eyes flicker up to his and you watch as his eyes lower slightly, his tongue peeking out to swipe across his lips. You both heatedly stare at each other in silence for a moment before you break eye contact first. A small whine of his name leaves your lips in embarrassment. "Angel..."

He giggles and leans forward, taking your chin in his hand to look at him. "I know what you're thinking, and yes I promise I want it to..." he starts lowly, leaning in close to your lips. When you try to kiss him, he leans back slightly. "Buuut, you know I can't be late..." You reach up to set your hands on his thighs, testing the waters.

"Hmm okay, you won't be late then." Your hands slowly spread his legs, only for him to press the toe of one of his heels against your chest, making you sit up straighter. "Down tiger," He giggles, leaning back and putting his weight against his hands. With a playful smirk and a slight tilt of his head, he drags his toe lower. "We gotta leave in like five minutes..."

You shift and not so subtly, spread your legs for him as the toe of his heels presses down between your legs. "That's enough time..." you breathe out. Your hand holds on to his ankle as you start to get desperate for him to continue. He gives you a toothy grin, "Oh baby, normally I'd agree, but even you know that's not enough time. Val would kill me if I'm late. Pluuus...I wanna take my time with you this time. So you'll have to wait until after the show. Can you do that?” The pressure of his shoe pressing into you increases, forcing a moan from you. "You can be good and wait for me, right?" He coos.

A gasp catches in your throat, so you opt to nod your head instead of answering. After all, you really weren't in a place to argue. Angel's hand finds its way to hold your cheek as he bends down to kiss the other, "So good for me~ I promise I'll treat you well later, kay?"

#hazbin hotel x reader #smut #hotel hazbin #hazbin hotel #angel dust x reader #angel x reader #angel dust #hazbin hotel angel dust #angel dust hazbin

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lovemyavatar · 2 years ago

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Hi Lizzie! I’m new to your blog, but I want to request one of the promt thingys, is that okay? I’ve read all your fics, and I absolutely love them!

If it’s alright for me to request, could you do #79 and # 128 with Neteyam?

Ily! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

AHH all of them?? my heart is so happy rn. yes it's definitely okay, my requests are always open especially for the drabbles since they don't take me long to write :) also my brain took this in an angsty direction so I apologize for that lmao

Neteyam x Reader

Warnings: nsfw, fwb, angst

part two

“Fuck, just like that, baby girl. Bend over and spread your legs.”

Neteyam's chest heaves with ragged breaths as he pounds into you, watching his cock disappear between your plump folds with hooded eyes. Strong fingers cage your hips in a firm hold, jerking you into him with each rough thrust.

You mewl beneath him, spine arching as warm pressure quickly mounts in your core. Neteyam’s palm skims up your back, digits tangling into your braids. He grips your hair, pulling roughly to coax your face from its smooshed position into the bed.

“I wanna hear you, baby. Tell me how good I make you feel.” A rough growl rumbles his chest when your pussy flutters around him, a series of moans and whimpers filling the tent.

“So, so good. 'Teyam! I-I'm gonna...gonna cum!” You wail, muscles tensing as another orgasm rips through you.

Neteyam groans, cock throbbing as he releases deep into your womb, pressing his hips flush with yours until every last drop fills you up. He leans over your spent body as you slowly sink into the bed, wobbly arms giving out under your own weight.

He only gives himself a few seconds to catch his breath, to relish in the closeness before he pulls out of you. He wipes the sweat from his brow with one hand while the other fishes for his loincloth on the floor. At the sudden absence of his warmth, you turn onto your back, watching with a frown as he slides the garment up his thighs.

“Tey...stay with me? Just for a bit?” You sound pathetic, even to your own ears, but you're tired of this back and forth.

This hot and cold act is tearing you apart, leaving your heart in tattered shreds with every night you spend alone. You prop yourself up onto your elbows, brow pinching when he barely acknowledges that you've spoken.

“I can't.” His voice is curt, dismissive, and it drills a hole straight through your chest.

He rushes to collect his things, not even sparing you a glance when he heads for the door.

“We’re not just friends, you know that.” You spit, as last-ditch effort to get him to understand how stupid he's being, as anger and sadness create a volatile mix within your stomach.

“And we're not mates, either. Are we?” Narrowed eyes cut to you, the declaration landing like a harsh blow to your very soul.

You curl inward, lips parting with a ragged gasp. All you can do is gape at him for several seconds, moisture blurring your vision. Neteyam's jaw grinds, chest tight with emotion as he turns on his heel, storming from the tent.

#neteyam sully #neteyam drabble #neteyam sully hc #neteyam smut #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam angst #neteyam fic #neteyam imagine #neteyam sully imagine #neteyam sully fic #neteyam #avatar 2 #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #avatar way of water #avatar angst #avatar drabble

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blissfulip · 8 months ago

Text

—Legion

On AO3

Priest!Viktor x F!demon!reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Priest Kink, Blasphemy, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Flagellation, Demon Sex, Demon Summoning, Demon/Human Relationships, demon reader, AU - Canon Divergence, Post medieval era, Dubious Science, Church Sex, Roman Catholicism, Catholic Guilt, Improper Use of Catholic Rituals, Shameless Smut, Masturbation, No use of Y/N, third person.

Cw: Handjob

Words: 2k

[A/N: Happy Easter Sunday lmao, also whoever picks up all of the 'easter eggs' (get it wink wink) gets a kith and hug from me (let me know if you want to be tagged or removed in future fic updates!)]

Tags: @ihopeinevergetsoberr @chemical-killjoy @jinxed-jk @bobobomao @queen-of-elves @thedustybunny @syren201 @thayfass @thehistoriangirl @hypocritic-trash-baby @zaunitearchives

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III.

Viktor stood frozen, the voice that whispered those words echoing against the walls of his head as he gazed upon the creature before him, a figure blindingly bright yet of simultaneously all-consuming darkness. The sight obscured his thoughts and left him adrift in a sea of terror. How could he have been so blind as to believe that he could command such power without consequence? Or rather, was it the naivete of believing nothing would come of it that turned against him?

The very essence of his faith fractured—that earth-shattering feeling that had become all too common for him that day—threatened by this insidious presence. What had he unleashed upon the world? What horrors awaited him in the wake of his hubris? Viktor trembled, and his soul lay bare before the abyss, but something sinister took him out of this blossoming meltdown; she, the creature, looked familiar.

And achingly so, yet her form eluded him like a half-remembered dream. Faces swirled in the depths of his memory, merging and shifting like shadows cast by a flickering flame, but he was unable to put a finger on them.

"Do you not recognize me, Viktor?" Her voice cut through the air, eerily sweet.

Viktor recoiled in horror at the sound of his own name coming out of her mouth, the weight of her words crashing down upon him.

“I manifest to you as a reflection of your own desires, an amalgamation of every soul you have ever yearned for, sweet human.” She hissed as she offered Viktor a hand to help him stand, her touch oddly warm as they both sat on the bed. “Do you not see it? That young woman from the bakery, or the one you always look at for a tad too long while you buy turnips? You don’t even like turnips,” she smiled slightly. “What about that woman who comes to confess every week? The one with the slightly hoarse voice that you love, even that tan young man with the green eyes,. Yes, yes, I know about him too; I am him too.”

“Who…what are you?” He asked amidst a short-lived surge of bravery.

“My name is Legion,” she said with an off-putting tone of irony, “for we are many... or however that verse goes. Mawkishly sentimental if you ask me.” She chuckled and seemed to deflate in disappointment at her attempt at humor not being acknowledged. She sighed in oddly human-like resignation, “I don’t have a name, Viktor, but I know yours , and you know what I am.”

"I seek nothing from the likes of you, Demon, you don’t know me." he declared, though doubt gnawed at him.

"You do, and it is the truth that I know you; your biggest fear is to remain ignorant and blind to the truths that lie beyond the veil of your mortal existence; I can feel it. " She whispered against his ear.

"You are but a trick of the darkness; I will not succumb to your temptations."

"Oh, but Viktor, you already have ," she purred. "You summoned me here, drawn by your own curiosity. Your anger simmers beneath that stoic surface, against the silence of the heavens and the absence of answers to your prayers. But I answered, so why direct your anger at me ?"

“I have faith in Him; God will intercede in my favor.” He said, covering his face ith both hands, afraid his expression would betray something that confirmed her accusations.

“Yet you question his wisdom and his justice. You resent his silence, you doubt .”

“I love Him, and I will repent; I will.”

“Why? Faith without cynicism is a hollow shell. Will you let yourself be domesticated like a beast? A man of science like yourself?”

The spark of courage grew into embers inside Viktor’s chest at the mention of his work. Although he remained silent, not wanting to concede, she saw it in him, just like she experienced every emotion that grew within the transparent exterior that contained his soul.

“Embrace this fire, and you will obtain what you seek.” She said, gently laying a hand over Viktor’s.

His shoulders slumped in resignation, but even as he acquiesced to her demands, a seed of guilt still remained. What would God think of him now for consorting with a creature of darkness? Would he be cast aside and condemned for eternity for his folly?

"What do you fear, judgement?” Viktor nodded.

“Your god is nothing but an egregore," she declared, her voice a whisper. "A figment of mortal imagination, born from the collective beliefs of humanity, he only has power over you if you allow it."

“God is my shepherd, He…” He started to recite, but his voice betrayed him.

“Yahweh, Tetragrammaton, Adonai, El, Elohim, Shaddai, Tzevaot… it does not matter who you so fervently pray to! Ancient egregores hold no power over the ancient gods.” She started saying in a firm tone, her volume high in affront. “And you, my sweet, are so unfortunately Christ hunted…a lot of work to be done.” She continued, her voice tuning back down to her previously silky tone.

Viktor's breath caught in his throat, but simultaneously, the weight of her words lifted a heavy chain that had previously hung around his neck. Although this—his God’s identity and how much power He held—seemed to be a point of contention between him and his conscience, every word she uttered seemed to confirm things he had been long thinking about. But the smell of culpability Viktor emanated was pungent, and what she saw in his heart was a whirlwind.

She was proud that he had let himself be guided by his urges, that he had, even if only for a small moment, felt true freedom in pleasure. She felt his fear when he remembered he would need to face father Isidore and then she felt his rage. He felt so strongly against him that for a second she imagined he would be nothing short of a monster, his robust yet sweet face was an interesting sight to find framed in Viktor’s memory.

She felt sympathy and sadness and confusion, she felt worried for the young girl with the twin braids just like Viktor had, and felt intrigued as to how she had come in possession of her coin, but what mattered most to her in that moment was one problematic sensation; despondency. Viktor was close to giving up, he had nearly decided rage was useless and so was science.

“Let’s begin by working on the heavy guilt you carry.” She said, after a long silence. Viktor noticed an unsettling tenderness in her eyes when he, for the first time, looked directly into them.

“I made a vow.” He answered, his voice breaking as it turned into a whisper.

"Do not let the chains of guilt bind you, Viktor," she murmured. "The church may preach of purity and righteousness, but it is built upon a foundation of hypocrisy, and you don’t need me to tell you as much.”

“I know of the behavior of some members of the clergy, but why should...”

“I don’t speak of individual transgressions; the church as an institution seeks to negate eroticism and sexuality, yet it embraces them in its most sacred rites.”

The deeply puzzled expression in Viktor’s face prompted her to elaborate.

“Think about the things you do during sacrament; think of the smell of incense, the touching of beads, the kissing of sacred objects, the rubbing of oils... Think about consuming the physical body of the idol you adore, and think about what it makes you feel—enlightenment, apotheosis. Remember the deep pleasure you extracted from the pain of self-penitence? It’s nearly devine, is it not? That necessity to envelop all senses?”

Viktor nodded.

“And that feeling you get of being close to god in a way that nothing else will get you to—that sensation of being outside the perception of time and space—have you experienced it?”

“I have, in prayer.”

“Can I show you what true ecstasy feels like? One that starts and culminates in yourself without any divine intervention?

And once again, Viktor simply nodded. The air crackled with a tension thick enough to suffocate him, his breath shallow and rapid. A rush of anticipation surged through him, mingling with a primal curiosity that threatened to consume him whole as she slithered behind him. The shift of weight on the mattress gave him a strange awareness of the materiality of what was taking place, and the hot breath on the left side of his neck caused the last string of sanity holding him together to loosen.

For a second, he wondered if she was nothing but a very sly yet human woman that had somehow found a way into his room, but that idea was quickly quenched as both of her hands slowly glided along the sides of his still-clothed thighs, emanating that unnatural white glow that was clearly not of mortal nature.

Her touch was delicate and warm, her nails slowly creeping up to the hem of his cassock as she pulled it up to reveal the trousers underneath. If Viktor had any idea of what she planned on doing, he would have been of more help, adjusting to make his clothing easier to remove, but unaware of what awaited him, he sat there immobile.

After some mild struggle, she managed to get to the stubborn clasp, and the slight accidental touches ignited a fire within Viktor's veins, sending tendrils of heat coursing through his body. Soon enough, there was nothing in between them, and the cold air that came into contact with the streak of viscosity that had dampened his underpants sent goosebumps across his arms.

She hadn’t even made her way to his cock yet, but with each gentle caress around his stomach and thighs, Viktor's senses were heightened to a fever pitch, his body aflame with a hunger that burned brighter than any candle. With the first feather touch along his shaft, he felt as if he were teetering on the edge of a precipice, poised on the brink of a pleasure so exquisite it bordered on agony.

And then, with a slow and deliberate motion, her hand closed around him, sending shockwaves of ecstasy racing through every fiber of his being. A guttural moan escaped his lips as she began to move, her rhythm mechanic and intoxicating. With every teasing stroke, Viktor's breath hitched, his body responding eagerly to her touch.

"Ah…God!" he gasped, his voice a hoarse whisper of longing.

She froze on her tracks, drawing out a protesting whine from Viktor. “Do not call upon his name now; at this moment, you belong to me .” She spoke, her voice still sweet but laced with a tinge of resentment.

Viktor's mind swam in a haze, his thoughts fragmented and disjointed as he desperately nodded in agreement, before she resumed the pace of her moment. And then Viktor felt himself hurtling his head back onto her shoulder, his world reduced to nothing. She gently removed the sweat-drenched pieces of hair from his forehead and whispered words in a language he could not understand while her hand continued its path down to his neck and back.

For a second, he felt a reminder of the stinging pain on his shoulder blades, and then it faded. As he reached the climax of his arousal, he cried out desperate pleas, only this time to her and himself, finally surrendering to this intoxicating embrace. After letting him breathe for a while, she took one of his hands in hers and placed the copper coin on it. Viktor knew he was bound to her now.

And in that moment, there was no room for guilt or shame, only the unquenchable thirst for more.

#viktor #viktor arcane #viktor x reader #arcane #arcane au #arcane viktor #legion

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aihoshiino · 10 days ago

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Thanks for pointing out the absence of Ai in ch165 on all things 15YL... The chapter is such an uncomfortable read to me, the last page showing how the finale might be about how the world became better because "Aqua did what he had to ie the noble selfless path"... but it's hard to expect any satisfying storytelling in the final twist when there's only one chapter left.

The absence of Ai, is like a vacuum to the narrative. She is the personification of the entertainment industry in the narrative, representing the hope and the despair. ONK was (is) advertised as a comment to the industry itself, yet the last few characters, including Aqua's death, had nothing to do with the industry at all. It's just about a psychopath murderous villain and a hero who sacrificed himself to stop him. Kamiki's story COULD be a comment towards the industry, but in the end Aka decided it's not. And that in turn made Aqua's suicide (which the story refused to acknowledge as) unrelated to the exploitation entertainers experience. We didn't even feel the prying eyes of the press during Aqua's funeral — unlike Ai's where we saw BKom members crying for the camera and the twins far away in a car, not even allowed to grieve in public. Ai's absence is loud because she symbolised what the story is about, but these chapters didn't intend to include her, and that makes it feel like a different story to me.

YEAH, IT'S SO. JUST.

^ image of me reading those last 2 chapters and realizing all the 15YL promo shit was about aqua and ai was nowhere lol

It really feels like past a certain point Aka either lost his steam when it came to the industry commentary or it just interfered too much with the story he'd already decided he wanted to tell so it was more convenient for him to just arbitrarily have it not affect the characters and world even when really, it should have done.

I've pointed this out re: Ruby but it really is bizarre when you pay attention the degree to which she just is entirely untouched by any kind of systemic issue or friction even when it's actively harming Kana and Mem. It ends up coming off like she's being coddled and protected by Miyako at the expense of the other talents, especially because um. Ruby literally says Miyako is doing this lmao.

But it also pokes its head out in other spots - there's a point made that the drama from the LoveNow incident will almost certainly follow Akane for the rest of her professional life but there's never any indication that it's a continuing issue, even when Kana points out to her like "wtf are you doing posting photos of your current location when ppl were sending you death threads Two Months Ago"

Idk, in general Akasaka has a bad habit of like... rather than letting the world state and consequences of the story have verisimilitude with what has been previously established about this in-universe society and systems, he just kind of forces the story to stay on the course that is most convenient for the beats he wants to hit. He is simultaneously too prone to improvisation while being bad at compromising enough to kill his darlings.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #onk asks

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lookismaddict · 2 years ago

Text

Lookism Chapter 440 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Wooooo weeeeee, another chapter this week! LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!! Also, I'm so sorry for worrying y'all for my absence these past few days but after this review is posted, Imma disappear again. 😭 At this point, my chapter reviews might not be posted on time and will be late to post frequently now. Also, don't mind me changing the color of the title every 10 chapters... *Ahem* Anyways-

RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THESE HOTTIES:

Ughhh... God, the fan service here. Thanks PTJ, you the man. 😩✋🏽 Also, the way Jibeom just acted like nothing happened by saying, "SORRY!" UH HA HA HA HA HA HA... 🧍🏽‍♀️💢 Nah, we allies now. Gotta forgive, right? And Jihan too... 🧍🏽‍♀️💢💢 Man, y'all just got your asses beat for no reason. This reminds me of those anime with the MC's fighting the enemies, and then they end up becoming allies with the "power of friendship". Behold, the power of friendship everyone.

Ok, but Imma be honest. Every time I see Hudson now, I squeal like a fangirl at a BTS concert. And suddenly seeing him... NAKED? RIGHT OFF THE BAT? My loyalty for Gun is REALLY being tested. Wtf man. Also, the snakes though? That's wild. 😭

Yeah, that panel really wrecked me. Physically and emotionally.

Oh, of course. Also, debt? Huh? 🤔

Yeah man, we need to know!!! WE'VE BEEN DYING TO KNOWWWWWWWW. Whenever I hear "Young Master", it reminds me of a butler saying that. As if Daniel is being treated by a butler. 💀

YESSSSSS FINALLY DANIEL GOT A LEAD TO JINYOUNG!!! 💪🏽

"At least eat before you go." That's so nice of them. Also, "At this rate he'll live here." KSSLDJLFSDHFSLFHDSFH JIHAN PLSSSSS- 💀💀💀💀💀

Oh? Daniel coming up with a big brain plan...? 👀

LET'S GOOOOOOOO DANIEL!! BIG BRAIN MOVE!!! 🤭

Daniel being acknowledged by, not only the man who ended the era of the First Generation, but also, the STRONGEST FIRST GENERATION KING???? Oh god, I love his growth and character development so much. He'll always have my heart forever. 💖 ALSO, THIS WHOLESOME MOMENT WITH JICHANG??? THIS IS TOO CUTE. MY HEART- 😩💗 I WAS SOBBING AT THIS BECAUSE THIS WAS TOO CUTE TO WITNESS. LIKE, LOOK AT HIM PETTING DANIEL'S HEAD, LOOKING LIKE A PROUD UNCLE.

Literally, one of the cutest things I've ever seen in a long time in Lookism.

YUUUSSSSSS, JICHANG IS GONNA HELP HIM EVENTUALLY. 😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I hope they actually do make it to the First Affiliate though. But, if the Elder knew where he was, then does that mean that he knows that Jinyoung is not in his right mind? And does he know that he has people held captive in his little basement? 👀 *coughs* Daniel *coughs* Johan *coughs* Samuel... Sorry guys, I might be getting a cold. Idk what's going on with me.

Ohhhhhh shiiiii... Pls tell me we gonna see Jake here...

AHHHHHHHH I KNEW IT, JAKE!!! BABY BOY IS BACK!!!! 😭💙 Oh shit, I wOnDeR who THAT could be...

Tbh I'm not surprised that he said it was James Lee lol. It has been emphasized by Eugene before when he said in Ch. 432, that he was aware of the murder case that caught the attention of a lot of people. And he also mentioned how Charles Choi had been using blackmail on James Lee to control him in exchange of covering James's part of the murder. Also, earlier in that chapter, I was wondering why Charles would even bother to help in covering up a murder for James if that person that James murdered wasn't so important in the first place. If it was just a "nobody", then he would've just thrown that person somewhere, buried him, or burnt his body and converted it into ashes. Clearly, it all makes sense now. (Also, the red picture gave it away. lmao) AND JAKE, WITH THE TYPICAL "death stare" EXPRESSION WHEN HE FOUND OUT WHO THE MURDERER FOR HIS FATHER'S DEATH WAS??? Is he going to get revenge or something? 😭

But oh boy, James is really gonna get it eventually. Both him and Charles Choi. Actually, DEFINITELY Charles Choi. The guy is literally walking scum in the first place.

You see, Charles Choi is a clown... 😀 *end of argument*

I hope he does. Because if Charles Choi intercepts their operation, I'm going to sue. 😡

Ughhhh, bro... Don't make me cry again, please. 💀💀💀💀

Oh great, speak of the Devil. 👿 FUCK OFF CHARLES, AND STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR CRIMES, YOU ASSHOLE! 😤

NOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOUUUUU CHARLES!!! GET AWAY FROM THE ELDER!!!! AGGHHHHHDSFHSDFHASDJDSHFLSD JICHANG!!!! BEAT HIS ASS!!!! TAKE HIS LIMBS OFF!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤

IT'S NOW OR NEVER, MF. I WANT THIS MAN TO SUFFER.

Wait, an "unknown car"? He MUST have a driver with him. Please tell me that his driver is none other than Gun/Goo... Ik this is wishful thinking, but I want to see them again. 😳

YEEEEEEESSSSSS JICHANG, SLAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY. SLAY KING, SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. 😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 HERE'S YOUR CROWN, KING OF CHUNGCHEONG'S KING OF SEOUL'S WHITE SNAKE!! 👑

By choking...? 💀 I mean, I've seen a big ass snake devour a huge animal before, so it's possible Charles. Don't doubt Jichang's abilities, because you might be surprised at how he could MURDER YOU ON SIGHT. 😡😡😡 (And oh god, looking at Elite's face still reminds me of my professor. 😭 *sobbing* But also, with a twist of Manager Kim too.)

I just want his ass to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Both him, and Eugene. But, wait... If Eugene and James Lee are conspiring AGAINST Charles Choi, and everyone else are conspiring against Charles Choi too, then... WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST UNITE AND BEAT CHARLES??? They all have a similar goal, yet they decided to do things their own way? Well, I get that they have ulterior motives/goals for them to take down Charles Choi, but at least make it easier for yourselves instead of just handling the crap on your own, right? Fight later, unite now. 🧍🏽‍♀️

Man, idk anymore. Just do whatever tf you guys want at this point. 😭

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hirazuki · 5 months ago

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Impressive WIP list, my friend! May I know some more about "Eönwë's camp"? (Yes, I am predictable x))

Thank you!! ("impressive" lmao more like I have the attention span of a hamster XD) And absolutely nothing wrong with being predictable, so are we all ♡

I fear that I've misled you with the title, though... Eönwë's camp is the setting, yes, but our favorite herald doesn't actually make an appearance ^^; It's a what-if scenario at the end of the First Age, of what if Mairon, after his plea to Eönwë failed, was making his escape from his camp at the same time as Maedhros and Maglor were sneaking in to take the Silmarils, and they briefly crossed paths. Here's a snippet:

“Third tent on your right,” he says in a low voice. “That blue one.” Maedhros does not thank him, and Mairon does not wait. He turns his back – and if that is yet another unwise decision, it is merely the latest in a long line; he has been acting out of character since waking up with salt water in his mouth and seaweed in his hair and loss in his throat and his soul, and, if anything, he should thank Maedhros for grounding him, for his presence has shaken him up and brought him to his senses – and continues making his escape. He curls his left hand in front of his abdomen, fingers ready to call forth a spell – just in case. (He is without his sword; they took it, and he cannot risk being caught to reclaim it, though its absence is carving into him with every step as surely as if it was the star-forged blade itself.) “They’ve put the fire out!” he hears a new voice whisper. “We don’t have much time until – brother, who was that?” Mairon tenses. “No one,” Maedhros says after a heartbeat, his voice low and even. “Come, they’re this way.” He hears their footsteps making for the tent he indicated. Later, sitting at a table in a room full of things he despises, driven there by road-weariness and the need for information, he will overhear how the last of Fëanor’s sons reclaimed their Silmarils only for them to burn their hands, the eldest throwing himself into a fiery chasm. And, in his dark corner, he will imperceptibly lift his flagon of wretched dwarven ale – the only drink to be found at wayside inns this close to the mountains – in acknowledgment of the only member of that race in whom he had glimpsed a similar spirit. And he will allow himself a moment of sentimentality to think of him, falling into the earth, and of Fëanor, who was consumed until nothing was left but ash, and wonder if, in the end, fire always calls back its own. Much, much later – at the end of everything, with fumbling fingers and crumbling rock and the melting of metal – he will remember this. But this is the First Age, still, if only barely, and for all his powers and his skill, Mairon cannot tell the future. A smile cuts across his face – in gratitude and relief, for all its sharpness – and he reaches the edge of the camp, becoming one with the shadows.

#mairon #sauron #maedhros #silmarillion #tolkien #hira writes tolkien #my writing #fun fact: this was the first thing i started writing back in 2022 when i fell back into the silm #but i wanted it to be ACcuRaTE and i hadn't read the silm in a good few years #so i set it aside to reread the text first before working on it further #and then ofc promptly got sidetracked with other projects XD #it just needs a good editing and it'll be ready to post #so maybe i'll get around to that soon #thanks for asking!!! ♡♡♡#fic: eönwë's camp

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crimekitty52 · 2 months ago

Text

Reviewing/talking about every episode bulbapedia categorized as 'focused on meowth' #1: Island of the Giant Pokemon

anyway! after I do all of these I think i'll do the episodes categorized as 'focused on team rocket' :3

so this is part of the 'st anne arc' if you will, after escaping the sinking of st.anne. I remember this being one of my favorite epsiodes as a kid!!! I really liked seeing the interaction between the pokemon

for starters the moment Jessie and James take notice of Meowth's absence they say how they're the invicible 'teamrocket' with this pose

they were expecting to complete the bit with them

also he says the last couple of lines of the motto and theres the little musical motif in the background: I jsut think it's adorable lmao: particualrly how he says 'surrender now and prepare to fight!' and the very next line is

Meowth instructs Ekans and Koffing to attact and is confused when they don't: explaining how they only listen to Jessie and James respectfully.

in his shock Meowth says that he is 'twice as smart' as those 'you call masters' : and this begins probably the MOST INTERSTING part of this episode

youtube

I went ahead and decidded to also check out the original japanese at of curiousity, it's pretty much a match. the sub on internet archive had the dialogue here as

Nyarth: what! nyou really think of those two clumsy blockheads as nyour masters?! [ in japanese nyarth speaks with a ton of little 'nyas' added, this is sometimes implemented particualrly in the early seasons with english meowth, specifically saying 'meowth' instead of 'me' on occasion. i wondered if maybe he spoke with osaka dialect sense those are often dubbed into brooklyn accents, but nah, the brooklyn accent was just a way of translating Nyarth's unique speech patterns in general: ANYWAY seems the subtitles are trying to put those nyas in with any words that start with y or a sounds.]

Arbo: a master's a master (Dogars: no other, no other)

Nyarth: but we nyare the villains, right? (listening the word he's using is 'warui' which I guess you can best translate as 'bad' excuse me for being a nerd but warui is also where wario and waluigis names came from, while the mario-wario makes perfect sense with m and w in english, waluigi as a pun only works in japanese (sense the actually character of the lu in luigi is the same as the ru in warui, l=r pretty much, so in japanese it's a perfect pun of warui and ruigi crossed over but in english it sorta just sounds like your tagging on the wa from wario) the villains do bad things whether there or nyot

Arbo: there's no such thing as villainous pokemon (honestly I think they should of subtitled this the 'bad guys' because 'theres no such thing as a bad pokemon' is a way more accurate and better sounding translation, also because villain tends too instead indicate taking an antagonistic role, where as this is more so talking about moral standing) (more Dogars backup dialoguue)

Nyarth: are nyou saying pokemon can't be villains?

Arbo: when a pokemon does bad things, it's because their master is bad.

Nyarth: nyo way! but I wyant to do bad things even without a master

(there is a small weird translation with that line into the dub but i chalk it up to lip flaps + an exprssion of speech)

anyway! that was a fun little side tangent! back to the point

I think this line is really interesting for a ton of reasons, for starters I think the point here is less so that 'pokemon are inherently good' and more so that Pokemon don't fit into human concepts of morality.

this is what I mean when I talk about one of Meowths core traits being 'the conflicting human and pokemon parts of his identity' Meowth is shocked/taken aback by this because he does view himself within human concepts of morality, he does acknowledge his actions as 'bad' from a human perspective (his perspective) so particularly the idea that 'pokemon only do bad things when their human guidance is bad/tells them to' is particularly offputting, as Meowth expresses that he 'always seems to act like a rat'

Meowth expresses particularly that he is 'bad' without human influence, and honestly I find this sentence to sort of weird as self-deprecating at another glance. especially when we take into account Meowth's past as a street-cat (which involved being a pest to humans)

I think Meowth proabbly also feels pretty fucking betrayed, as Ekans and Koffing ignore his pleas for help, like these are his teamates and he just learned apparently they don't share the same drive/goal as he and the Js

anyway the rest of the Pokemon talk while Meowth is just tied to a tree which godamn thats fuckign hilarous

KRAZYSHIPPING MOMENT

pikachu unties Meowth before Meowth even asked: there's this wonderful pause of Meowth staring at Pikachu like he's trying to asess his actions afterwarsds. (he says 'i couldve gotten out myself' becuse all cats are at least a little bit tsundere)

ANYWAY

COZY BUNDLED UP POKEMON BE UPON YE

also I spotted an animation error! (as an artist spotting animation errors is a fun little game i play litterally whenever watching animations)

it's only visible for a second but theres a clip where meowths paws are colored wrong

so thats pretty much all! I really like this episode. 10/10 >:3c

#team rocket #pokeani #meowth #Youtube

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sigurdjarlson · 2 months ago

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Ooooh!! Pls tell us how they are dropping the ball in TWW. I’d like some tea ☕️

So like I do like some aspects of TWW but imo Khadgar’s fakeout death and Dalaran falling was done quite poorly

Like if you’re gonna kick the expansion off with what we at the time assumed was a major character death you could have at least…had more than 2 characters care about it

I think that’s what bothers me the most? Alleria and Anduin express genuine grief. Mostly Alleria though. Jaina does for a few seconds. And then no one else in the game like ever mentions it.

No members of the council of six, no Medivh, no citizens of Dalaran who may have liked him, nothing.

Turalyon doesn’t say one word about it :(

It just doesn’t work because his death has 0 impact on anyone except Alleria. No one even MENTIONS it except her and Anduin

We have Alleria’s vengeance arc that personally I think could have been much more impactful

For a successful fakeout death you gotta make it impactful, emotional, etc.

And you do that by showing the grief it causes other characters and the effects it has on their actions or what the absence of that character does in general

They do this with literally only Alleria which imo probably doesn’t work for some people either

Like lbr most players haven’t read Beyond the Dark Portal. Their friendship in the game exists mainly in some flavor text and what they try to throw in there in the beginning of the expansion. A little bit in Legion (which was years ago)

They do nothing to make new players attached to Khadgar before killing him (they’re probably like who is that Lmao) or even just refresh the bond some current players who aren’t obsessed with him like me have with him

There’s some very sweet text between him and the player character in the beginning quests (“I’m glad to have you by my side.” I’ll give them that)

For god’s sake Dalaran falling doesn’t seem to do much of anything. Think of Teldrassil (regardless of the shit writing that led to it) how they have you desperately try to save civilians and ultimately be overwhelmed by the smoke.

They show how significant of a loss this is in various ways, show the refugees, suffering, etc

You get a few stragglers from Dalaran who express very mild grief about it imo. Most of it is “it’s a shame we lost so much knowledge” which is very valid Dalaran was full of it but like…where’s the emotional impact bruh

Then of course they give us Khadgar back

On one hand I’m happy he’s not dead. The cinematic was very sweet.

On the other…what was the point except to make Alleria make some impulsive grief fueled decisions?

Literally what was the point of any of that when no one cared and it did not impact much of anything significantly alskdkslf

Personally I think they should have drawn it out longer, really let the loss sink in..but to do that they’d have to actually acknowledge he died lmao

I still don’t like how he got one shot by Xal either. This man can hold his own with Gul’dan and various other powerful characters.

You could have let it be a fight that she just ends up winning but have him actually get to fight. He deserves that.

Idk I just think it was all written very poorly and mainly for shock value. It didn’t do justice to the character but I suppose I should just be happy they let him live

Idk this expansion in general doesn’t really make you feel like anything happened. it leaves you in a lot of ways going “what was the point…of any of that.” By the end of it?

Xal is fun in a way but she’s also very..one dimensional. Some people find that refreshing to be fair. Just someone straight up evil for evil’s sake. I think it’s a bit lazy that she doesn’t have much of a motivation except that.

And they try SO hard to make her the Uber powerful threat and she’s ~so cunning~ but to do it they nerf other characters and make them make dumb decisions and that’s also lazy :|

Like don’t get me wrong there’s some strong aspects to the expansion. (Especially in side quests. We got some real good side quests this expansion but the main quest itself is lacking in some serious ways particularly in regards to how it started)

Mostly I just don’t like that no one cares Khadgar dies. It drives me nuts lmao.

Literally being Medivh’s ass in. That could have been painful. The character he has the closest bond with.

Legion era writing I miss you…

They wanted a Varian’s death situation (except surprise he’s alive) but it didn’t work because none of them put any effort into having other characters react to it except Alleria ._. They rushed it and just kinda dropped the ball.

We got some good stuff. I like the Earthen, Neurbians and Kobolds. I like the Magni stuff with him, Dagran and Moira

I really like Faerin and some other new characters too.

It’s just..I have more examples of them dropping the ball but my brain isn’t working lmao. Mostly I’m mad at how they handled Khadgar and Dalaran which was supposed to kick off the expansion

Also why Thrall in the loading screen (which implies he’s gonna be a big character this expansion) with Alleria and Anduin when he literally doesn’t show up until the end and does absolutely nothing but bring the horde fleet

I guess we should be thankful they kept Metzen on a leash there. It could have been all Thrall all the time but I just think it’s kinda funny like they just threw him in there for no reason (Metzen probably)

I also do hope there are consequences for Anduin bailing on his kingdom. I love him. I totally get it but you can’t tell me his people aren’t gonna lose complete faith in him after he runs off AGAIN Like that.

I don’t mean he should be punished for having completely reasonable reactions to trauma just that..decisions do have consequences especially in regards to running a Kingdom

He’s gonna need to work to regain their faith in him or at least he should have to but idk if Blizz will do that. Like this should severely weaken his people’s faith in him as a leader.

#asks

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lloydfrontera · 1 year ago

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I bet ksh wrote the "what if Lloyd wasn't a useless drunk" fic right after ppl who read the "Lloyd dies at the beginning and everyone is better off bc of it" fic accused him of hating Lloyd's character lmao. Just to be like "see i don't hate him (more than normal fans do)!" And then it started new discourse about the only palatable way Lloyd was avoiding death/getting significant screentime in his stories was if he was totally ooc lol

about this au

askhdjksah "see i don't hate the guy!" (<- wrote a completely different guy with the same name)

some people accused him of character bashing and even when most of his readers pointed out that he wasn't writing anything that wasn't either canon or completely in character, suho still decided to see if he could write a fic that involved lloyd frontera as a main character without being an antagonist. and it turned out it was really fucking hard lol

so he just. changed a few things. couple little nothings.

the thing is i can kinda see suho. despising. lloyd's character alskhkda

is just that. the guy has everything he would kill for. he has his parents, a little brother, financial stability and a potential loyal friend right there and he wastes all of it by being a complete bastard. he would want to wring his neck sooo bad ajkskda

maybe in a particular bad night when he misses his parents, feels really lonely and only had one cup of ramen to eat the entire day, he reads a part of tkbi where lloyd acts especially nasty and gets really bitter so he writes a rant fic about how things would've been so much better if lloyd had just died and stopped making his family miserable.

once he gets it out of his system, he probably feels a bit embarrassed about how angry the fic turned out but he does see a glimmer of a good idea there so he turns it into a tamer version of an outline, where he strips away most of the raw emotion and changes it into a bittersweet tale of how the death of someone irrevocably changes the lives around them in ways that sometimes aren't predictable.

it's not even a "he died and everyone was happy about it" fic as that would be 1) in bad taste and 2) not in character. it would've been more about how lloyd's death paralyzed the fronteras so much in their shock and grief that some key events in their downfall would've been missed. how the absence of abuse would've allowed julian to flourish onto himself even as he dealt with mixed feelings about the way he feels about his older brother and whether he wishes to forgive him now that he's dead but can never make amends to him. like. that kinda thing.

and because it turns into a genuinely good fic it escapes containment from ksh's usual readers circle and ends up being a hot topic into the general fandom.

which is divided between those who think is a very bittersweet fic that doesn't bash the character but does point out his canon actions and depicts his death as tragic while acknowledging the consequences both bad and good it has. and those who think it's still in poor taste to write something that basically boils down "if he died everything would've been okay" and point out the narrative itself does carry heavy negativity against lloyd.

it is. messy.

suho isn't really affected by the criticism he gets but he does try not to project too hard onto his fics and some called out it almost seems personal so he kinda panics and writes something that deflect the accidental emotional vulnerability that slipped through and writes the other fic and he even makes lloyd suffer just a little bit in this one. compared to what the fic would actually be if he was being more honest. it is after all an attempt at making it seem like he doesn't hate the guy (more than normal that is) lol

of course that fic starts other kind of discourse but! i do see lloyd being a divisive character in the fandom in general, a lot of people would really dislike him based on his abuse on julian, his meanness to javier and the contempt he shows for his parents, but i can also see some people woobifying him and thinking he just needed some,,, idk, love ig?? (*cough* ignoring the fact he had a family that loved him and he alienated by his behavior *cough*). so the discourse that ensues after his second fic is less targeted to him and more in line with the discourse that would surround og!lloyd anyway so it's fine.

i also kinda love the idea of suho being the kind of cryptid writer that doesn't really leave author notes or has any online presence besides their ao3 notes. so he just drops the most compelling pieces of fiction people have read in the entire year and then vanishes again, only replying to nice comments with a "thanks!" or "happy you liked it :)" and a "👍🏽" or "ok" to assholes.

so he drops his "Lloyd dies at the beginning and everyone is better off bc of it" fic, drops from the face of earth to everyone else, sees the discourse it starts, writes the "what if Lloyd wasn't a useless drunk" fic, drops it and then sees an even bigger discourse start all without commenting a single thing about it askjdksa

he drops two consecutive atomic bombs on the fandom and then dips out. he has two jobs he's got no time for disk-horse after all aksdjkla

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #kim suho #fic writer ksh au #i. didn't mean for this to be so long. oh my god.

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the-cult-of-russo · 2 years ago

Text

Just Beneath The Flames (Part 11)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao, zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: I giveth and I taketh away lmaoooo Honestly, no fucking clue where this is going, I’m along for the ride just like you guys are. Settle in for some angst and shit.

You almost didn’t get this chapter today, I’ve literally only just finished writing it. I wound up with writer's block like a quarter of a way through and started to think the story was doomed. I got there in the end though looool I’m not sure if chap 12 will be up tomorrow though as I haven’t even started writing it yet and I have an appointment to have my bloods done tomorrow and I still feel like shit so… lmao

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You strolled around the perimeter, knife in hand as your eyes swept around diligently. It had been almost three weeks since you all moved into the oversized cabin and you’d all settled in nicely. The place was huge, the lower floor comprising of a massive living area, complete with large plush sofas and a big fireplace. The large kitchen was on the other side, the whole floor being open plan except for a couple of closets. The top two floors were bedrooms, each floor having a large bathroom. The Liebermans, Matt and Foggy had the rooms on the second floor while you were on the top floor along with Frank and Karen, Curtis and Billy. You hadn’t expected to share a room with Billy, especially after the disaster of the kiss you’d shared, but it still took some getting used to having your own room. You missed sharing a tent with him, the comfort it would bring you. But you knew even if you had to share a room here, there would be no comfort to be found. Not anymore. In the three weeks that passed, Billy had become more and more distant with you to the point he barely even spoke to you anymore. You’d accepted the fact he hadn’t actually wanted to kiss you, accepted the fact he’d used your feelings to get you to do what he wanted. None of that mattered in the grand scheme of things because the friendship you’d had with him, the bond you’d formed, it meant far more than any feelings you may have developed for him. But that bond seemed to not exist anymore and that hurt you more than anything. You’d hoped that once you all settled in, maybe he’d warm back up. Even if he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the kiss, you thought you’d eventually be able to speak to him again in a way that had you two back on good terms, but it hadn’t happened. You’d come back with the others and you’d all set up and with each passing day, he spoke to you less and less and you really couldn't figure out just what you’d done to deserve it.

It hadn’t escaped the others how he was behaving either. You’d seen the frown on Frank’s face when Billy would purposely brush you off if you tried to initiate some conversation with him, seen how he’d glare at Billy. You saw the curious looks from the others and the sad look on Karen’s face and you weren’t sure what to do with it. It made you feel isolated and lonely, just like the odd one out all over again. The others cared and they made an effort, especially Karen. She’d taken up your time with Billy’s absence, keeping you company and you loved her for it. Frank was also never too far away and always making sure you were okay and you’d even made a habit out of hunting with Matt and you enjoyed his company. But none of that compared to what you’d shared with Billy. He was their family first and you knew if he turned around tomorrow and said he wanted you gone because he was sick of looking at you, they’d have to let it happen. You hated feeling this alienated all over again. A week after being here, Karen and you had been in the kitchen cooking dinner with actual electricity which had been a trip and she’d told you not to let him get to you. That he was just dealing with a lot after the whole Rawlins thing. You’d allowed her words to comfort you, naive and stupid that was all it was. You’d let it because you’d seen him sometimes when he didn’t know you were looking, that lost faraway gaze he held like he didn’t know what to do with himself. You knew it wasn’t easy, even if he had finally gotten what he wanted. That was part of the problem. Because once it was done, there was an air of finality to it all, a feeling of being adrift at sea once the long-term goal had been reached. So you’d waited patiently, stupidly hoping that one day he’d flash you that smile of his and say something playful just like he used to, but he just pulled away further. You’d given up hope now, it was pointless. You didn’t think you were a coward. You’d faced a lot of shit head-on with this new way of life, but the idea of confronting him outright wasn’t something you could bring yourself to do. The only conclusion you could draw from his behavior was that he knew how you felt about him, used it to his advantage and then regretted it, worrying he’d given you false hope or something. And now he just felt awkward being around someone he knew liked him as more than a friend. You couldn't blame him entirely. You knew you’d feel just as awkward if it turned out Matt or Foggy liked you that way although you wouldn't be such a rude dick about it. This past week he’d gone from being distant to occasionally being rude and you’d gotten sick of it. You missed him, missed your friendship and the comfort it had brought you.

You rubbed your eyes tiredly, watching as the sun came up. You’d been taking watch more and more lately, your nights plagued with nightmares and bad thoughts. People hadn’t caught on at first, not noticing you offering to switch your shift with others and they’d been so grateful for the rest they hadn’t questioned it. But now, a few weeks in, you saw their concerned gazes when they realized you’d been on watch all night and barely had any sleep after. Once the sun was fully up, you sheathed your knife and trudged your way back to the house. The place itself was pretty perfect and you and Frank had even been talking about hitting up a garden center soon to get some fences put up and see if they had any crops to plant. It would be your dream to get that all set up, be more self-reliant. You guys could really make this place a home, you just wished you didn’t feel so empty inside. As you got around to the front of the house, you saw Frank and Billy through a couple of trees as they stood by the truck parked on the side of the road. Billy glanced up, his eyes locked onto yours and it made you bristle and you looked away quickly. Part of you wanted to be petty because of his behavior recently, to not look away until you made him feel awkward, but you couldn't. Your embarrassment over knowing that he knew how you felt about him and about the kiss outweighed the pettiness you felt. Annoyance prickled at you though at the idea of him trying to steal your garden center run off you. You’d barely been going on runs since you got here. Frank had given you excuses at first, saying things like there wasn’t enough room in the truck or he needed you here to keep an eye out. You’d bought it the first few times but started to get suspicious when it happened every single fucking time. Your suspicions were founded though as you overheard Billy telling Frank one day that he wouldn't be going on a run if you were there. You realized then that Billy had been the reason you were now excluded from runs. You tried not to let it bother you as you busied yourself here with all there was to do setting the place up and you still had your hunting, but it stung. This run though was yours, it was your idea to go and look for crops, to be able to grow your own food. You’d brought the idea to Frank and like fuck you were letting Billy kick you out of it.

“Y/N!” you heard Frank call out as you walked to the front porch. You turned around and he gestured with his head for you to come over. You felt your body tense tightly, much the same way Billy seemed to as he gave Frank an unimpressed look. You trudged over as you prepared yourself for what he was going to say. If he told you that you’d be staying back from the run, you’d end up resorting to violence.

“What’s up?” you asked as you got to them, making a point to not even glance Billy’s way. Frank's eyes flit over your face in a way that made you stuff your hands into your pockets and shrink a little.

“Karen said you took watch again last night,” he murmured, a concerned almost fatherly tone to his voice.

“Yeah?” you asked, looking confused as you shrugged at him.

“I think it’s great you wanna help out and all but… but I think you need to take a break,” he frowned.

“I can handle it, Frank,” you sighed.

“Of course you can,” Billy scoffed and your eyes snapped to him with such fire behind them he actually recoiled for a second.

“Something you wanna say, Russo?” you asked scathingly and he once again looked taken aback by the harshness of your tone for less than a moment before his face hardened.

“You’re gonna wind up getting us all killed,” he growled.

“Seriously?” you asked with an eye roll.

“You’ve been on watch every night for almost a week straight and you have an hour sleep at most after. What happens when your body gives out from exhaustion? What happens if you fall asleep when you’re supposed to be keepin’ us safe?” he asked roughly.

“Do you think I’m that stupid? Do you really think I’d do it if I didn’t think I could handle it, that I’d put everyone at risk?” you asked, offense coloring your face. Even if you wanted to escape your treacherous thoughts, you wouldn’t do it at the expense of your group's safety.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” despite his shitty attitude lately, you really hadn’t expected such malicious words to leave his lips and you felt white hot rage flow through you, your ears ringing. Before you knew what you were even doing, your knife was unsheathed, gripped in your hand as you took a menacing step towards him. Frank quickly got between you two, shaking his head.

“That’s enough, guys!” he chided with a deep frown. Your eyes hadn’t left Billy though and a slow and dark smirk spread across his face, he looked almost amused at you with your knife, something sinister shining behind his dark eyes.

“You really think you can stand there and judge me for the shit I’ve done? For failing the people I cared about? Maybe you should take a long look in the mirror, Billy, ‘cause I’m not the only one that’s failed people,” you hissed viciously. His smirk melted right off his face, his eyes flashing dangerously as he stood up taller, but Frank put a hand on his chest, shoving him back roughly as he still stood between you. At the back of your mind, you felt a pang of guilt knowing the people you were referring to were the family of the very man who was currently trying to break up the fight between you. Frank either didn’t connect the dots or he didn’t bother to look into it.

“I said enough!” he bellowed. He gave you a very unimpressed look before he turned and looked at Billy. You smirked inwardly, noticing the look he directed at his best friend was scathing, much worse than the one he’d given you. Billy’s eyes hardened, the two men glaring at each other for a moment and you had a feeling they were doing that thing again where they spoke without words. Either way, Billy scoffed and shook his head, giving you one last glower before he moved away, stomping to the trees. You noticed then he had his bow and arrows with him and in spite, you hoped he wouldn't find a damn thing when he went out there.

Frank sighed deeply, his body relaxing once Billy was gone and you sheathed your knife roughly, still feeling anger at how Billy had treated you. You didn’t want to stick around and get a lecture from Frank about your attitude or about how you’d been taking watch too much so you turned on your heel and started walking to the house.

“What the hell happened with you two?” Frank asked, stopping you in your tracks.

“I don’t know, Frank. He’s your best friend, why don’t you ask him?” you asked sourly, turning to face him once more. He was frowning as he looked at you.

“I tried askin’ him. Tried ‘til I was blue in the goddamn face but he just says he don’t wanna talk about it, so I’m askin’ you,” he said pointedly, raising a brow and you clenched your jaw. You were a little surprised he hadn’t told Frank about the kiss or anything, figuring as his best friend, he probably would have. The only reason you hadn’t told Karen was because it was weird considering Billy had been her family way before you’d been in the picture, but you’d wanted to tell her just to get it off your chest.

“Before you guys hit Rawlins, he kissed me. He kissed me and then when you guys came back out, he was different,” you muttered. Frank blinked rapidly, confusion and shock all over his face as he glanced to where Billy had disappeared through the trees before back at you. It seemed like you rendered him speechless for a moment and you didn’t want to stand here and talk about the fact you’d been kissed by someone you cared about, only to end up treated like this.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with him or why he’s being such an asshole, but keep him the hell away from me. If he tries to use my past against me like that again, you won't be around to stop my knife being buried in his neck,” you hissed, turning around and stomping over to the porch and up the steps. You knew it wasn’t true though. No matter how much he would hurt you, you knew you could never hurt him like that, not physically at least. And you’d feel bad for how you spoke to Frank later, knowing he was only trying to help. You were over it all.

It was only as you got to the top of the porch stairs that you noticed Zach was sitting on the porch with a comic and he gave you a sad smile. You felt a bit shitty then behaving that way in front of him and you gave him a weak smile in return, feeling yourself deflate before you slipped inside. You ended up hiding out in your room for a while, not wanting to bump into Billy when he came back from hunting. After a few hours of you laying on your bed feeling sorry for yourself, your door knocked before Karen slipped inside, giving you a tentative smile. You smiled back, sitting up and leaning against the headboard as she moved inside and sat on your bed.

“You should have told me that Billy kissed you,” she frowned, being blunt like she always was. You hadn’t expected her to come in here and talk about that, you’d figured she was just checking on you.

“Frank told you then,” you murmured, feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks.

“Of course he did. I feel awful, Y/N. All this time I’ve been making excuses for him and it turns out he kissed you, which just makes it even worse what he’s doing now,” she huffed, shaking her head. While it was slightly embarrassing she knew, you were partly grateful because now you could vent to her about it all. You’d been keeping it all locked inside and it had been killing you.

“I just… I don’t get it. At first after he… and how he acted after… I just thought that he didn’t like me that way, that he kissed me just so I wouldn’t go near Rawlins. We both know what he’s like, he’s not above lying or manipulation to get what he wants. If he thinks he’s doing the right thing then it’s worth it to him. And the idea of him using my own feelings against me sucked but I got it, I wasn’t mad. When he started pulling away I figured I made him awkward. Like he saw me as a little sister or something and he knew how I felt now so he was uncomfortable. But now he’s just acting like an asshole and honestly, it doesn't matter how I feel about him, I don’t think I deserve that,” you frowned, hurt lacing your voice. She scooted closer to you, taking your hand that had been anxiously picking at a thread on your jeans.

“You don’t deserve that. I really don’t know what’s gotten into him. I didn’t know him before… before the Castles, but Frank told me he hadn’t been the same since what happened to them. And before the world fell, he didn’t really do relationships, he was a bit of a player. He finds it hard to let people in, to trust them. It took him a while to even accept Matt and Foggy. But with you… he just clicked with you and sometimes, it was like he trusted you just as much as he trusted Frank. It surprised all of us. I don’t… I don’t understand why he’s doing this now,” she muttered sadly.

“I really thought we could try to get our friendship back on track. I thought that maybe if he warmed up a bit, I could show him I could hide my feelings and we could move past it all. But now… he knows I care about him yet he’s hurting me and I’m not gonna sit there and let him,” you sighed and Karen squeezed your hand.

“Maybe I could talk to him-” she started softly and you shook your head quickly.

“No. No, it’s too awkward. I’ll just stay out of his way and hopefully he’ll stay out of mine. Maybe he’ll stop being an asshole and we can go back to being strangers,” you muttered tensely. The idea made your chest ache but it would be better than whatever the fuck this was now. You hated him being so cruel to you like this and you knew it would only make things bad for everyone else in the group. You weren’t the type to sit there and let someone be rude to you, no matter who it was. You knew if he kept up with his bullshit, the pair of you were going to have some very bad fights and you didn’t want the others to have to put up with that, especially not the kids. You changed the subject after that, asking Karen what she was planning for dinner and luckily, she’d let you steer the talk away from Billy. After a while, she left but not before informing you that you wouldn’t be on watch tonight so you knew you were in for a rough night. Deciding not to dwell on it, you got off your ass and left your room since you had laundry duty. Karen had offered to do it for you so you could get some rest but you had politely declined. If you slept now there would be no way you’d sleep tonight.

You went downstairs and grabbed the large basket that held all the dirty laundry in it, hauling it up before you left out of the back door in the kitchen. The creek that had been near your old camp ran through here too and wasn’t too far from the back of the cabin. You’d all decided it was best to clean the clothes there instead of using the water in the cabin as you didn’t want to push your luck with it. You had no idea if it would crap out on you eventually. When you got to the creek, you tried to let the sounds of nature soothe you as you got to work. You emptied the clothes from the basket, a bar of soap in the bottom of it. The air was cold but the water was colder and you tried to ignore how it bit into your hands as you started to wash the clothes, wetting them before getting them soapy and rinsing them again. It took what felt like forever and your hands were numb when you were done. You tossed the wet clothes back into the basket haphazardly before making your way to the side of the cabin where a makeshift clothesline hung between the trees. You got the clothes off it that had been drying since the last laundry shift, them taking longer to dry in the cold. You chucked them in a pile on a rock before you started to hang up the newly wet clothes and then you started to fold all the other dry clothes up neatly, sorting them into piles before putting them into the basket. You picked up the basket and started making your way around the front of the house, but as you got to the corner, you noticed Billy sitting on the porch steps. You quickly ducked back behind the corner before he saw you, rolling your eyes at your own cowardice to even face him. You felt too raw and you didn’t want to have to deal with him being cruel to you again. You heard the front door open and close and you hoped Billy had gone inside, but you were wrong.

“Hey, uncle Billy,” Zach murmured and it sounded like he sat beside Billy.

“Hey, little man,” Billy replied softly. You glanced to the other end of the house, deciding on just going around the back and through the kitchen. You had no desire to stay here and listen in. Well, you hadn’t until Zach said something that made your feet take root to the floor.

“Why are you so mean to Y/N?” he asked bluntly. Your hands tightened around the basket and you could just imagine the curious look on the boy's face. You hated that it had been something he’d noticed, hated the tension the group could see. Billy was silent for a long moment and you started to wonder if he would even answer him. You wouldn't lie and say you weren’t curious about his answer, wanting one yourself.

“It’s just… grown up stuff,” Billy replied tensely and you had to clamp your mouth closed as you almost scoffed at the cop out answer.

“Grown up stuff?” Zach asked, he himself sounding like he knew it was a pile of shit.

“It’s complicated, alright?” Billy sighed.

“How is it complicated? You used to be close friends and now you’re just mean to her. She never smiles anymore and she's always just sad. Sometimes… sometimes she cries when she takes watch at night,” Zach murmured sadly and your head whipped to the side as if you’d be able to see through the building right to him. You felt shame burrow deep inside of you that he somehow knew about that and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“What?” Billy asked slowly.

“Sometimes… I can’t sleep at night. So I sit by my window to look at the stars and… I’ve seen her sometimes… crying by the trees,” Zach answered quietly. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for being so stupid. Although in your defense, you’d hardly expected anyone to be able to see you. It hadn’t happened too often but sometimes the whole thing got too much for you. It hadn’t just been Billy to make you cry but it hadn’t really helped with all your already existing issues. Billy didn’t reply to that and you wondered what was going through his head. You hated the idea of him having more ammunition to throw at you at some point, the idea of him throwing this in your face would be humiliating.

“I might not be a grown up and maybe I don’t get it ‘cause I’m a kid but… mom always tells me and Leo to be kind to people, that they have their own struggles. I don’t know why you and Y/N aren’t friends anymore but you might wanna be kinder to her. This new world is scary… you don’t know how long she’ll be around,” with those ominous parting words you didn't think a kid would be capable of, it sounded like he got up and went inside. You heard Billy blow out a breath and you frowned to yourself, forcing yourself to walk to the other end of the house to go through the back, not wanting Billy to catch you there. You’d thought the kids were doing okay but the way Zach spoke made you think he was becoming a little jaded and you hated it.

You walked through the back door and surprisingly, Zach was already in the kitchen with Sarah and Karen who were getting started on dinner. You felt your cheeks flush at remembering his words and he came over to you, giving you a smile.

“Can I help?” he asked, glancing to the basket in your hands.

“It’s okay, I got it,” you said, a grateful smile on your face. He frowned a little though and you felt bad.

“Actually… you could take these up. These are for everyone on your floor,” you murmured as you got out the clothes that belonged to everyone on the second floor. He grinned then, looking happy to be useful and you wondered if he was starting to feel a little like a spare part here. If he was getting to the age where he wanted to start to feel useful and to be doing stuff to help out. He took the pile of clothes at the same time the front door opened. Your eyes flit over to see Billy come in but you looked away before he saw you, not wanting him to start anything. You could feel his eyes burning into you as Zach took the clothes before he trotted off up the stairs.

“Dinner won’t be too long,” Sarah murmured, squeezing your arm as she smiled at you and you nodded.

“I’ll just finish up with these,” you replied. As you made your way to the stairs, Billy was now nowhere to be found so you mused he’d gone to his room. You went to the third floor, going into the rooms and placing people's clothes on their bed. The rule was that if they were in the room, you didn’t just walk in, but you knew everyone else was downstairs so it was fine. You went in and out of the rooms before all that was left was yours and Billy’s clothes. You decided to go and put yours away first, getting it out of the way. You walked into your room, setting the basket on the bed before you put your clothes away. You stared at the clothes in the basket left, a dull ache starting in your chest. One hand came up to the necklace still around your neck that you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to take off. It was comforting and painful all at the same time with it still on and your fingers toyed with the moon pendant for a second before you sighed and slipped it back under your top. You grabbed the basket with one hand, Billy’s clothes in the other. You knew he was in his room so you’d just leave them outside. You would have done anyway, not wanting to just walk into his room even if he wasn’t in there. Just as you got to his door, it opened and you blinked up at him as he looked mildly shocked to see you. Your jaw set then, your eyes averting his. A petty part of you wanted to toss his neatly folded clothes to his feet but you pushed it down, holding his clothes out to him without looking at him or saying a word.

“Thanks…” he murmured, his voice soft and quiet as he took them from you. Not wanting to stick around in case he decided to start being a dick again, you turned away and started walking down the hall.

“Y/N,” his voice stopped you and you tensed, knuckles turning white with how hard you were clutching the basket. You turned around apprehensively and he was standing outside of his door. His eyes didn’t land on you, looking everywhere else instead as he stood there rigidly and rolled his shoulder.

“I uh…” his mouth floundered for a moment and stupid hopeful part of you wondered if he might apologize for how he’d been behaving after Zach’s words. That maybe it had shown him just how shitty he was being.

“It… it doesn’t matter,” he muttered, his brows creasing a little. You shook your head, a bitter smile painting your lips before you turned away once more and made your way down the stairs. You should know better than to be hopeful about anything. You tried to ignore the stinging disappointment as you went and put the basket where it belongs in the kitchen before walking into the living area where everyone usually had dinner. There were three big sofas and two armchairs but it still wasn't room for everyone. The kids were in their usual spot on the plush fur rug by the fireplace as they ate, their parents on one of the sofas. Matt and Foggy were on another sofa and Curtis was sitting in an armchair. Karen was handing out food, Frank on the last sofa with a spot for her and for Billy and you took residence on the other armchair that you’d practically claimed as yours. You gave Karen a smile as she handed you a bowl of soup and you dug into it. You all ate together but you didn’t sit around waiting for everyone to be seated to eat. Billy came down a few minutes later and you felt your appetite wane as he glanced over at you. He moved over to sit with Frank who gave him a look before Karen gave him his soup.

The next day, you were standing by the truck as you made sure you had all of your stuff ready. Dinner the night before had been as awkward as it usually was when someone was purposely not talking to you but you had decided to just ignore it. You were excited for the run today, your run, and you and Frank were by the truck as you waited for Micro to come out as he’d be joining you both. You had no idea if you’d find what you were looking for there but it was worth a try and you were excited to just get out for once. You were sick of Billy stopping you going on runs. Micro came out, a lopsided grin on his face directed at you and Frank as he came over, shuffling the backpack on his shoulder.

“We ready to go?” he asked. He also looked excited to go out. He hadn’t been in a while as he'd been with Sarah but you were pretty sure she was feeling a little smothered since she’d been adamant he came along.

“Yep,” you grinned as Micro hopped into the bed of the truck, excitement thrumming through you as you glanced to Frank. He had a weird look on his face like he was deep in thought and you are about to ask him what was wrong. That was before the front door opened and you looked over, seeing Billy walking right towards the truck, his knife and gun on him. You narrowed your eyes, head whipping to Frank who shifted on his feet.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you muttered to him and he gave you a sheepish look, unable to meet your eyes.

“He really wanted to come,” he shrugged and you scoffed.

“And I’ve really wanted to go on a bunch of runs since being here and I’ve not been able to go ‘cause his Highness didn’t want me there,” you hissed. His eyes snapped to you then, shocked and slightly guilty. You’d never told Frank you’d overheard his conversation with Billy that day, you’d just allowed him to feed you his bullshit excuses until you stopped bothering to ask to go along.

“Y/N,” Frank started, guilt coating his voice but he was cut off as Billy finally got to the truck.

“Ready?” he asked, looking at Frank and not at you.

“You’re not coming,” you bit out, giving him a sour look. He dragged his dark eyes to you then, an amused and patronizing smirk on his lips.

“Is that right?” he asked teasingly and your eyes narrowed to slits.

“We could use another set of hands here, Y/N,” Frank tried to soothe, giving you a look that asked you to drop it.

“Then ask Matt to come,” you muttered blandly.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but your little blind boyfriend’s busy,” Billy smirked coldly and your brows almost flew off your head as you looked at him.

“Jesus Christ, that's enough! Stop with the jealous, petty bullshit, Bill. And Y/N, I know this is your run but I could use his help. You’ll go off with Micro to get your shit, I’ll take Bill to help with mine. Stop actin’ like a pair of fuckin’ kids,” Frank snapped, giving you both a firm look before he hopped into the driver’s side and slammed the door. You pursed your lips feeling like a scolded child but through the embarrassment, your brain wondered why Frank told Billy to stop being jealous. You didn’t even spare Billy a look as you moved around to the other side of the truck, opening the door and climbing in. You figured Billy would hop into the truck bed and sit with Micro and you were looking forward to the distance. It didn’t happen that way though as he grabbed the door as you tried to pull it shut and you squinted at him.

“Move up,” he smirked. You were sure your right eye twitched but not wanting to annoy Frank any more than you had, you shot him a glower before sliding up next to Frank in the middle of the seat. Billy climbed in after you and you found yourself smushed against Frank’s side just so you didn’t touch Billy. You didn’t miss the shake of Frank’s head as he sighed, giving Billy a look over your head before he put the truck in drive and pulled out.

The ride was too uncomfortable. You knew if it had just been you and Frank it would have been full of talk and banter, it would have been a good time. But this run you’d been looking forward to was now tarnished by the long-legged asshole sitting next to you and you knew he’d sat next to you just to piss you off as he sat there with his legs spread, taking up as much room as possible. You wanted to kill Frank for agreeing to let him come. The trip seemed to last forever and you decided that on the way back, you’d be sitting with Micro in the truck bed. It was less comfortable in the physical sense but there was no way in hell you were doing this again. Halfway there and Frank and Billy started talking among themselves about nothing in particular and you tried to tune it out as you wished for the truck to speed up. But then Billy shifted, his leg knocking into yours and your head snapped to him, eyes narrowed to slits as annoyance prickled you all over. He looked at you, his face impassive as his cold eyes pinned you in place. You refused to look away though, glaring at him and at your unwavering gaze, he raised a brow before an amused smile curled on his lips that had you almost throttling him.

“I swear to god, Bill. You wanna act like a damn child, I’ll treat you like one. You need me to turn this truck around and take you home?” Frank asked annoyed, a stern face as he glanced over to Billy who blinked at his friend, mild shock on his face. It didn’t last too long then as defiance crossed his face, his eyes hardening as he glared at Frank who was simultaneously glowering at him and trying to keep his eye on the road. When Billy didn’t move an inch, Frank slammed on the brakes so hard you yelped, hands reaching to the dashboard so you didn’t hit it and you heard Micro shout something from the back.

“Get in the back with Micro,” Frank demanded and you blinked at him before looking at Billy who snorted.

“That’s a joke, right?” he asked, sounding far too amused. Frank didn't laugh, didn’t even crack a smile.

“Does it look like I’m fuckin’ around to you?” he asked and you were surprised by the severity of his tone, the harsh look directed at his friend. Billy also looked shocked before he scoffed, shaking his head before he got out and slammed the door hard before he climbed into the back. You finally felt like you could breathe and you slid over, able to now sit comfortably without squashing Frank. You weren’t sure why you were the one feeling embarrassed, after all, it was Billy who had been acting like a child. But the whole thing made you feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. Frank looked in the rearview and once he saw Billy was situated he started driving again.

“You can punch him if you want, I wouldn’t blame you,” he muttered after a while. You smiled to yourself, leaning your head on the cold glass of the window.

“I doubt it would help,” you shrugged, although with the way you were currently feeling, you knew it would probably make you feel a bit better.

“Want me to do it?” Frank asked, a sly grin on his face. You had no idea if he was serious or not but you snorted and shook your head.

“I’ll get back to you on that one,” you smiled and he chuckled. You relaxed in your seat now and felt much better. You hoped once you got there, Frank would keep him the hell away from you.

“I know… I know you’re probably mad at me for lettin’ him come. In my defense, I told him no a million times but we know what he’s like. Woulda fuckin’ turned up anyway, figured it’d be easier this way. Asked him to behave himself but I’m not sure why the fuck I thought he’d listen,” he frowned with a shake of his head.

“It’s fine, as long as he sticks with you, I’ll be okay,” you murmured. While you weren’t exactly happy with Frank letting him come, you knew he was right. And you knew you were putting Frank in a tough spot here since Billy was his best friend. You were surprised he’d been sticking up for you as much as he had been but then again, Frank was a good man and even though Billy was his best friend, he wouldn’t stand there and let him be a dick for no reason.

When Frank finally got to your destination you leaned closer to the glass to see it. The building was huge, looking almost like a large greenhouse, the whole place made of glass and metal beams. It was surrounded by a high chain link fence and Frank pulled right into the car park. You hopped out of the truck as the others all got ready and you noticed a few large trucks on the far end of the car park, Micro saying something about how they might have shit in them from the last delivery. Frank was telling everyone the plans but movement through the glass at the front of the store caught your eye. You couldn't see through the glass as it was covered in grime, dirt and what looked like blood. You stepped closer, trying to see if you could gauge how many of the dead might be in there but then your eyes widened as you got a little closer and you took a quick step back.

“I uh… we might have a problem,” you muttered, eyes not leaving the building as the guys all turned to you.

“What is it?” Frank asked, the three men moving to stand next to you.

“Holy shit,” Billy breathed at the same time as Frank’s “What the fuck?” The dirt from the windows was being smeared away, revealing a sea of the dead inside that were pawing at the glass. There were so many and you felt yourself deflate a little. You knew someone had to put them here, just like the ones that had been locked in the carpark at the baby store. With how dirty the glass seemed though, this seemed to have happened a while ago. You really wished people would stop locking herds away like this because you seemed to end up having to deal with it.

“Guess we ain’t goin’ in there,” Billy mused darkly and you tried not to let the disappointment eat at you too much. You should have known something would go wrong, you’d been far too hopeful that you’d be able to get some crops out of this.

“Well… we could still look in the trucks, right? I mean, there might be some stuff there?” Micro asked hopefully. You nodded numbly, letting Frank put his hand on your back as he guided you away from the dead that seemed to be mocking you from behind the glass. Frank tossed Billy the truck keys so he could drive it up closer to the delivery trucks with them being so far away and you walked with Micro and Frank to them. Your annoyance of Billy’s presence had all but dissipated with how despondent you felt over this. When you got to the trucks, Frank used his knife to jimmy open the back door, pushing the rolling door upwards to reveal piles of bags. He hopped inside and you moved over to the door, noticing it was full of compost as Frank climbed over the bags and rummaged around.

“Nothin’ else in here,” he muttered, just as Billy parked up and came over.

“The compost is good though. Even if we don’t get any crops today, it’d be handy to have for when we find some,” you mused, trying your hardest to look on the bright side. Frank gave you a smile, grabbing a bag and handing it to you and you moved to put it on the bed of the truck. Billy went and opened the second truck as Frank handed you another bag and you continued to load a few into the truck bed. You were curious about what he’d found but didn’t want to ask him. You didn’t have to wait for long though.

“Buncha seeds, but they all look like flowers,” he frowned, hopping out of the truck. You climbed inside to check yourself and he looked almost offended. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe him but you wanted to check he hadn’t missed anything. He hadn’t been the one to arrange this run, the one to be so hopeful about finding things to be able to be self sustainable. You grabbed the packets, looking them over quickly and discarding them as you went. Roses, tulips, forget-me-nots. You huffed a sigh as you tossed them, getting frustrated when you found nothing useful. A loud shrill sound made you drop a packet as you jumped and you quickly jumped out of the truck.

“David! What the fuck?!” Billy yelled and you soon realized that Micro had opened the last truck, only to set the alarm off. It was loud and made your brain hurt and you covered your ears as a frantic looking Frank moved over to the front door of the truck. The door wouldn't open and he ripped his jacket off, balling it around his hand before he punched the window to break it. He quickly unlocked the door, hopping in as he tried to kill the very loud noise that would be drawing in dead ones from a five mile radius. Another noise hit your ears then as you watched the men clamber to try and shut the truck off and you stepped away from the truck, the noise itching the back of your brain as it was familiar to you. You couldn't place it. But then you heard it again even louder and your eyes drifted to the front of the store, horror sweeping right though you when you saw a large crack that seemed to spread from the bottom where the roamers were hungrily hitting the glass at the noise, all the way up, getting bigger and branching off. For a moment, you froze completely, eyes wide as if waiting for a tidal wave to sweep you up and carry you out to sea.

“Guys?” you called out, your chest feeling tight. They didn’t hear you over the alarm and they were already yelling at each other as they tried to turn the alarm off.

“Guys?!” you bellowed more forcefully, just as the alarm stopped going off and your ears felt weird at the sensation.

“What?” they all called back simultaneously.

“We’ve got a bigger problem,” you swallowed thickly, your voice wobbling a little. The grave nature of your voice had them all rushing from the front of the truck and as if waiting for them to arrive, the glass at the front of the store shattered into a million tiny little fragments. There was a beat of silence, everyone stood in shock, before a wave of the dead poured out. This was the most you’d seen in a very long time. Blind fear rushed through you, making you feel cold and your feet took root to the floor as Frank started yelling to get in the truck. Billy suddenly grabbed you, hauling you up like a sack of potatoes before he hopped into the bed of the truck with you, Frank driving and Micro in the front. The tires screamed as he put his foot down and the truck spun around since it had been facing the wrong way and you almost flew right out of the truck until Billy grabbed you, forcing you to sit on the floor.

The truck stopped and Billy started shooting some of them as they advanced, getting them in the head as they fell to the floor.

“There’s too many,” you muttered to yourself, shaking your head as your eyes flit around. They were blocking the entrance and you knew even if you used your bow and the others all used their guns, it wouldn’t be enough and would only leave you with no ammo.

“Hold on!” Frank called out and you knew he had his window open since you heard him clear enough. You didn’t have time to process his words before he accelerated again and you gripped the side of the truck to steady yourself as he took off. Your heart was hammering away, hoping he wasn’t choosing to mow through the dead. There were so many of them, you knew the truck would get stuck. Instead, Billy suddenly shoved you to lay on the floor, his body over yours and before you had a chance to understand why he'd done it, you felt the impact as Frank rammed right through the fence, plowing it right down. The truck slowed for a mere moment before he tore out of there and the deafening chorus of the dead started to fade away as you lay there. Billy rolled off you, the pair of you lay side by side as you panted and you felt dizzy from the adrenaline of it all.

“Fuck,” he muttered breathlessly and you nodded at the sentiment. After about five minutes of Frank speeding down the road, he eventually slowed before he pulled over. You knew the dead wouldn't catch up and you could only hope they wouldn't all stay in a clump and come your way at some point, but you thought the cabin would be far enough away that you’d avoid it.

“Everyone alright?” Frank asked as he climbed out of the truck, Micro following suit. None of you had been close enough to the dead to have been hurt but you appreciated Frank asking anyway.

“Other than the heart attack I’m currently having? Peachy,” you snorted as you sat up. Billy sat up to, running a hand through his disheveled hair. With that drama out of the way and the threat in the distance, the disappointment clung to you desperately once again.

“I’m sorry, Frank,” you sighed with a deep frown. Not only had you been the one to convince him to come here and it turned out to be a bust, but you all could have died over this.

“Nah, none of that bullshit, alright? It was worth a try. And besides, we got… we got the compost so, it wasn’t a complete waste,” he smiled at you but his words were firm.

“That wasn’t all we got,” Micro grinned and you all turned to him then as he grabbed something from his pocket. He held out a packet and you took it, a beaming smile splitting your face when you saw it was potato seeds.

“Where did you-? How?” you asked, turning your happy face to him. He looked so proud of himself.

“They were in the last truck, managed to grab ‘em before all hell broke loose,” he snorted. You hopped over the side of the truck, grabbing him in a hug that made him laugh.

“Thank you,” you grinned, squeezing him for a moment before you let him go. Frank clapped you on the back as Micro climbed into the truck bed once more.

“It’s a start, right?” Frank asked, a genuine smile on his face at your happiness. You nodded, clutching the packet tightly in your hands. It was a start. It might not have been all you’d hoped for but it was more than you left with. You really couldn't wait to get started with planting. You hoped one day, you’d have a bunch of crops and you wouldn't have to worry about food so much. As you got into the truck next to Frank, you smiled down at the packet in your hand, thinking about the future and that maybe, you might all have a chance at a real life after all.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

@noortsshift

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

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