#but my guy the other ninja could literally kill people with THEIR powers too

[jinxed-ninjago]

I was looking through the Ninjago wiki's page on water (the elemental power) and it mentions that Tommy Andreasen has said that Nya can't control blood because it'd make her powers too dangerous.

Meanwhile I'm sitting here like Kai almost fucking burnt Jay alive 3 episodes into Crystalized. If Jay releases enough electricity he could probably kill someone and probably could've killed Kai in that same episode Kai almost burnt him alive had the fight between Kai and Jay not been broken up. Cole could probably summon pointed enough rock to impale someone. Zane could probably flash freeze the water someone's body and kill them in the process. Lloyd can literally control energy, it's not a stretch to claim he could probably kill someone using that ability.

But hemokinesis/blood manipulation is too powerful??

[nic-liveblogs]

okay but like how do you think Ninjago characters would handle being in the scroll/confronting Inky?

(remember, if they're going one-to-one with you, inky can copy your powers) (and also the scroll makes you relive your trauma, so that's fun)

Also also, Inky looks like mk but monkie so if they went one-to-one beat down/therapy session with Lloyd, would they mimic his oni form? 🤔

OKAY WAIT this just reminded me that this kinda happened to wu in the dark island comics!!

so yeah.. i guess thats how hed react

for each of the ninja hm..

lets start with kai ok um tbh i dont think hed be too phased tbh, it could take on the form of morro? who literally stole away his little brother, kalmaar? it was his fault that nya turned into the sea i imagine hed hold a grudge against him.. and aspheera who took away his powers, overall i think he could probablyyy handle it emotionally??

cole! cole uh yeah hes cole?? only trauma i really think he would have is from sensei yang who turned him into a ghost (yeah remember that arc??) i imagine thatd be pretty traumatizing tbh, i dont really know how hed handle it because frankly i dont know coles character that well but i think he could also handle it probably

zane! vex! overlord! nadakhan? yeah! oh my god zane and ice emperor 😭 hes not that person guys!!!! but hed feel INSANELY guilty i honestly dont know if he could take it just because his motto is to protect others thats his whole thing and he did the complete opposite omg it gets me it gets me 😭😭😭😭 anyway yeah thatd probably break zanes resolve i feel

jay! jay has a lot of trauma actually thats not brought up that often.. firm believer that he has abandonment issues. nadakhan being the worst of them, but probably unagami as well? kalmaar also took nya away so yay fun times guys. honestly, i think seeing nadakhan again.. hed probably lose it he quite literally killed all his friends in front of him and nya died in his arms oh my god.. hed break i feel

nya!?! nya's strong but also nadakhan sighh wojira and kalmaar too, id think nadakhan would also tip her over the edge like idkkkk really depends on what you feel im not that sure how nya would react

ok and finally lloyd.. i think this would be his 13th reason honestly.. itd send him over the brink, the point of no return i think hed turn full joker at this point like holy crap theres like 10 different people inky would transform into like no way this poor kid 😭 if this happened to him i think we'd have to add an extra L to his name its too much 😭 and if it took on oni lloyds form i think thats just a cherry on top of the trauma cake

[spicyicymeloncat]

Yeah you can really tell how much the quality dropped after part 1. Like man, there were so many moments that seemed incredibly silly when they didn’t need to be and like don’t get me wrong I love the comedy of Ninjago and definitely enjoyed it in p1, but I just don’t think my initial reaction to the Crystal king should’ve been absurd laughter.

(Long ramble below sorry. All just my opinions haha)

Even if a lot of people can criticise how they handled the ninja’s grief of Nya, at least there’s still an argument to be made that the first two episodes were emotional and heart warming and that episode 2 was really beaughtiful yknow. And the plotline of the ninja breaking aspheera out and going to jail was crazy, different and had the comedy to match the bizarre vibe to it all.

But then in part 2 I think they continue joking around a bit two much and also try to force angst in the most unconvincing ways. Like Lloyd and Harumi meet again but the cute banter stuff kinda waters down their nemesis relationship. I mean I can deal with that but I think it does take away some of the gravitas of the situation. Especially since the rest of the council ALL feel like comedy relief.

And whilst you can tell the Crystal king wasn’t supposed to be that funny, I spent a whole episode making fun of him. Like I feel like there should’ve been a lot of “ohhh shit” moments in his debut but instead he just makes his house fly and plays dress up with his minions. Like idk, this is a zombie season, why not kill the mood by the Crystal king possessing/crystallising the council. Like killing the comedy relief is one of the most ohh shit things you can do. Like Lloyd literally does not give a shit about the ck and so neither do we. Like that was the overlord, the thing that possessed his dad. That ate him. That killed zane. The episode should’ve been way more dramatic.

And then also the amount of boring fake deaths. The ninja in the train? We obviously know it’s not real but even still it could add to the experience with aesthetic. Didn’t have to be boring. Like what if, as a show of power, crystals flooded the tunnels idk? What if, since the ninja only just got back after their split, the stress gets to them and they end up fighting and confessing some bottled up feelings. Yknow give this scene more drama, make it something I’d wanna paint, have it add to the plot in terms of the ninja’s arcs or the overlord or whatever. Maybe the crystals are just like the great devourer venom and make people see the worst in the world.

Same with the monastery being set on fire for the bajillionest time. Like idk, cut the mountain in half, that’s never been done before, have Nya have more of an arc for that episode, do something more with wu idk.

And then the ninja all crashing in their second tango with the ck, cinematic sure but then the next episodes are also just comedy. Like Cole hit his head too hard and whilst Zane has been ripped apart limb by limb he’s also the funny murder guy who tells ronin to suck it and eat knives. Completely inconsequential and didn’t serve purpose other than split ppl up. Like that’s cool but actually focus on the characters.

Also lloyd and his daddy issues. One of the most core plot points in the series. And it’s him being jealous of a plant. The dynamic shifted so much and only became more generic of Lloyd wanting the recognition of his dad. And I think Garmadon and Harumi both have this problem of that they seem out of character even though logically their current character states make sense, they are who they are because of the time skip. We don’t see their character growth because it’s shoved into 10 minutes of progression, and so their characters are not as impactful and not very convincing either. On top of that, Garmadon is very much missing that serious angst side that grounds him to the dramatic moments of the series imo.

Overall there’s not really that much tension, we don’t really fear the ck, we aren’t that worried for the ninja, Lloyd and Garmadon just have mid family drama idk.

I don’t hate it that much really and I do like some parts of the season, I want wu to low key adopt the newspaper boys and steal more vehicles, and the jokes can be funny sometimes and vinny is great etc etc but like. The season is lacking

Ahaha rant over

You know what's crazy? Part one of Crystalized was INSANELY better than part two. Part one was funny when it had to be, it was genuinely emotional when needed, and the action killed as always.

Part two was full of forced emotions, jokes that felt kinda weird/stuffy at times, and still had action that killed as always.

It's like, I was re-watching the scene where Harumi reveals herself for the first time, right? At that moment, I genuinely felt excited, like there was something REALLY cool coming next but I KNOW what comes next, and at BEST it's mediocre.

I love this show with all my heart, and I WISH part 2 could be as consistently enjoyable as part 1.

ALSO given what we learned from Tommy about Crystalized, there were ideas and choices he kinda wanted that just, never happened and that's a shame because those could've been GREAT for the show :(

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Madara Finale Speech

This part is not canon to the manga. However, since it's the last moment where Madara summarises his action and what triggers him to start the Infinite Tsukuyomi. It's kind of a POV without being really one because there is no new informations to what he said. But usually we forgot this powerful monologue because...you know... the shadow guy in the back did what he did...😑... And we were so surprise by this plot twist that we totally forgot Madara's words.

"I just want to be the saviour that ends the long history of fighting amongst shinobi"

He embodied perfectly the anti-villain trope. Noble cause but horrific manners. And also it goes along with my headcanon here that Madara has always be groomed by his clan to think of himself as someone special chosen by the Divine. The God's complex is older that we thought. Madara reminds me a bit the Big Nurse in the movie Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, where she is convinced to act for the well-being of her patients while her acts are authoritarian and cruel. The only difference is that Madara is fully aware of his own acts of violence in order to reach is goal, in this "cursed world" as he said there is no other way, and it's also the only way he learned as a child soldier during the Warring state era.

Establishing Ninja village led to an increase in their military built-up which result in battles that turned into great wars...with countless lives lost. The battling of what became the first Great Ninja War, the second Ninja War, the third Ninja war... The fightings never stop. That's Hashirama's legacy to the Shinobi world.

His comprehension on the shinobi world leaves you torn. All is true, painfully true. Contrary to Hashirama, he lived long enough to witness with his own eyes (pun intended) every wars. There is nothing the main characters can possibly talk no jutsu with him because either they are too dumb (Naruto), or too indoctrinate in the Will of Fire to even consider other perspectives (Sakura, Kakashi). And generally way to young to have seen every conflicts he is talking about.

Sasuke's position at this very moment is the most interesting.

But Hashirama ultimately failed in reforming the Shinobi world

Notice as the camera pauses for a long time on Sasuke. It's only after a second rewatching that we realise at this moment Sasuke has reached the same conclusion than Great-Great-Great-Grandpa. He heard Itachi's version, Danzo's version, Hiruzen's version, Tobirama, Hashirama, and even Hagoromo himself... In comparaison Naruto has no idea of the big picture. On and on, Sasuke listened all of them and meditated their past decisions who led to the current situation. The Shinobi world needs a reform because Hashirama and his successors have failed somewhere, in their own admissions. And he, Sasuke, is driven to be an Hokage and makes a change he called revolution. He is young enough to not be totally disillusioned like his ancestor. And for once, Madara's old age is a problem. His accumulation of experiences and tragedies froze his thirst for life (Gai may call it The springtime of youth) to the point he rather forces everyone into a fake existence than let them live and progress on their own. He hate this reality and doesn't want anymore to let it grow. While Sasuke still wants to change this reality.

Is this your idea of a perfect world? You're just deceiving people.

It's so strange because finally Sasuke is acting like the main character should act. Being challenged not just physically but also intellectually by an opponent, and overtakes him. Because of his Rinnegan and his EMS he was the only one who protected team 7 under his Susanoo and potentially the only one who could have stop the effect of Infinite Tsukuyomi. He actually doesn't need Naruto. That's the reason later he said that he will kill him first, the 5 kages and then he will liberate people from the genjutsu. This character is so independent from the main story we could literally have his own sequel without mentioning team 7. Anyway back to the old lad...

People cannot show each other their true feeling

When I dissected Madara's mistakes, I've said before that one of his main goal was to find a way to reach people's heart but he gave up the idea very early in his life. He never found a way to fully trust others and no one in return ever trust him.

My opinions were pushed aside

I've always repeated again and again but we never had Madara's POV about what happened in Konoha when he was still part of it. What happened exactly with Iwa? Why did his own clan prefer to be close to the Senju (long time enemies) than trust their own leader? Why was Hashirama not able to listen to his friend's opinion ? Lots of people talk about him, but we never let him express himself. We speculate but in the end, his opinion is still a mystery.

[alwayshaveneverholdd]

REWRITING NARUTO ROMANCES SO THEY DON'T SUCK

We all know that the romance in Naruto is trash and Kishimoto himself admitted to not knowing how to write female characters and getting embarrassed by romantic scenes…so let’s fix that shit

Part 2: SasuSaku

Okay so I’m gonna be going more in depth and talking about Sakura’s characterization, as well as the family dynamic between Sasuke Sakura and Sarada.

I didn’t do that for naruhina because I honestly truly could not give less of a fuck about boruto and himawari. They’re both gifted ninja children with little to no family struggles. “Meeeeh my dads the hokage blehhhhhh poor meeeee” stfu nobody feels sorry for you

ANYWAY

LETS START BY SHITTING ON ALL OF IT (AS I DO)

- Sasusaku in a nutshell

- Sakura: you’re so hot my teen hormones are making me think I’m in love with you!!!

- Sasuke:….y’all hear sumn?

- *fifteen years and a forehead poke later* Sakura: lol where’s my husband

- Lmfao I’m just kidding I am actually the HUGEST sasusaku shipper and I just FUCKING WISH kishimoto hired someone who could do romance or knew about women or something so not only Sakura could flourish but also the rest of the female characters who were mostly depicted as harmful female stereotypes: weak, overly emotional, superficial, do everything for boy

- I think that him saying he wanted Sakura to be a fan favorite but then made her such an asshole and so annoying at the beginning is like….what

- AND I GET IT kids with both parents d o n o t understand that not having both parents growing up doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a basket case (says me, the child of an only parent who was constantly pitied for it but is doing a lot more with my life than any of my friends who had both parents Lmfao)

- But why did he make her so…. “LOL NARUTO IS SOOOO FUCKING STUPID WHAT A LOSER FOR BEING AN ORPHAN” what the fuck who would actually have that attitude toward someone like that

- Her parents, though we don’t see much of them, seem like decent people? I’d like to think they wouldn’t raise such a judgmental kid

- I’ll fix that in the second half dw

- Okay also w h a t t h e f u c k I n g f u c k

- I hate that Ino and Sakura’s friendship was ruined by a boy, and that their rivalry was mostly about Sasuke…

- Kishimoto-sensei come on dude I love you but w h y

- I’ll admit girls do have a competitive nature with each other a lot

- BUT GUESS WHAT

- Most girls are in competition because of things like?? Low-self esteem and big egos, which young kids of all gender and gender identities have lmfao

- In my experience it’s rare that a boy is what breaks up a friendship (unless one friend “stole” the others boyfriend in which case that guy didn’t want to be with you anyway sister get over it)

- Also can we just talk about how in Shippuden every time sakura is like “I GOT THIS!” “ILL GET EM!” She gets fuckin destroyed

- So much for Sakura getting so much stronger during the blank period ???? What the fuck

- Sakura IS powerful and I wish she would’ve been given as much power as naruto and Sasuke on some level so she could hold her own against them like what the hell

- I’m jumping around a lot but first of all: fuck Sakura’s fake confession to naruto that was so immature and unnecessary and she is way too smart for that wtf

- Also fuck Sakura becoming a sub and offering to join Sasuke when she went to kill him

- We’re fixing all this fuckin shit

- Also pls the anime did sasusaku so dirty

- They took out all of sasukes blushes from the manga

- In the manga Sasuke blushed many times around/at the mention of Sakura

- And his FOOT WAS SHAKING WHEN SHE CONFESSED THE FINAL TIME

- btw let’s just take out all of Sakura’s fucking confessions just stop sis you’re embarrassing yourself we’re gonna rewrite this shit for you in a way that respects you okay

- Sarada looks nothing like Sakura and I’m pressed

- I’m tilted

- SHE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE KARIN BRO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? Similar hairstyle, same glasses, honestly same face (it’s a cartoon they all look the same FUCK YOU she looks like Karin and you know exactly what I mean)

- They couldn’t have given her Sakura’s hair color or style??? At the least???? Or just different fucking glasses Jesus

- I hated that entire “is Karin my real mom” dilemma cry me a river

- Pls they could’ve created so many other conflicts that would’ve been way better

- Suigetsu is a fucking moron and ofc he would believe Sasuke and Karin got it on bc he has the IQ of a pistachio

- There was just…they could’ve reintroduced those characters in such a better way

- Also I’d like to see Sakura interact with Jugo, Suigetsu, and Karin. Just Sakura interacting with and being friends with sasukes friends would help paint their relationship dynamic better

- And can we get into sasukes thoughts other than when we’re shown his itachi and massacre flashbacks for the 10847382th time

- Like during one of Sakura’s confessions maybe a sad look and a flash of team 7 in his mind bc he’s reminded of his bonds and how much he enjoyed his time just being a normal kid

- I’m gonna need more than an “I’m sorry for everything” and a forehead poke

- Sorry chief

- The least you can do is give us a fucking episode showing how their romance happened?

- That would be fucking hilarious

- Bc Sasuke clearly knows jack shit about romance, even now when they’re married with a kid

- “Sasuke…do you wanna date me?” “Why would I hit you with dates? Those have pits. Are you a masochist?” “What?” “What? I gotta go…help naruto with something…bye”

- Like lmfao

- Okay I think I’m good on the first half let’s move on to fixing shit

- FIRST AND FOREMOST

- Can we just….NOT ALL YOUNG GIRLS ARE DATING CRAZY AND ACT ALL PSYCHO

- Yes I’ve known people of all genders that are interested in dating very young, but not to the extent that is shown in Naruto with literally all the characters obsessed with Sasuke

- So we’re not gonna do that “fangirl pack follows Sasuke around” thing.

- I liked that Ino was the one who gave Sakura confidence and helped her believe in herself, so we’re keeping that

- But let’s not make Sakura become an Ino clone because pls they were so fucking SIMILAR in the first part

- And Sakura is not mean to Naruto just bc she likes Sasuke, let’s change that. Maybe Sakura was annoyed and felt like Naruto was deliberately trying to get in the way (which he was, and she did express these feelings) so how about she cONFRONT HIM

- just ducking ask him you pussy “why are you trying to get in the way of me building a friendship with sasuke”

- Communication! Healthy friendships! Y’all: You’re asking too much of 12 year olds

- Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS MY PERFECT WORLD

- No more “IM GONNA GET THE FIRST KISS FROM SASUKE”

- Let’s have Sakura be less….like that.

- ANYWAY I think the subtle way that Sakura and Sasukes friendship developed was actually good, I don’t have many complaints there.

- Now when we get to him leaving the village….NO CONFESSIONS. Sakura will still ask him why he has to go, but instead of being stupid and saying “IM 12 AND IM IN LOVE WITH YOU BLEH YOUR PARENTS BEING MURDERED IS THE SAME FEELING I HAVE WHEN YOURE NOT HERE” don’t even go there dude

- Instead she will think to herself how her feelings for sasuke have grown from infatuation into truly caring for him. Maybe she even mentions that he’s different from what people think he is, try to remind him that she and Naruto and Kakashi are a team and like family.

- Ofc everything else would be the same but I think that if she had made points that way, him thanking her would hit harder

- NO asking Naruto to “bring sasuke back to me” he’s not yours dude wtf

- Instead Sakura would NOT CRY but still be upset and wish Naruto and the others farewell. She would still recognize her own shortcomings and train rly hard during the blank period.

- Now let’s skip ahead okay so can Sakura not get her ass beat so much in the second part like fucking really come on

- She will do damage to fuckin sasori and not rely 95% on granny chiho

- Also? Why the hell did she try to stop sasuke with her fist during their first reunion? Jesus

- So I think sasukes behavior should remain pretty much the same, it fits his tortured traumatized characterization.

- Now Sakura, I think she should have been way less dramatic about everything. No confessions to Naruto, having an actual good plan to kill sasuke other than with a poisoned kunai

- I’d like to think Sakura would be pretty powerful by now and could hold her own against sasuke. When he asked her to kill Karin to prove her loyalty, she should’ve known he was tricking her and just fucking went at him. Kakashi and Naruto would’ve intervened either way but now Sakura is using her abilities instead of almost getting killed by sasuke TWICE without even fighting back.

- I think Sakura shouldn’t have confronted Naruto at all before going to kill sasuke tbh

- Now onto to the war, I think by now Sakura did realize that Sasuke was fucked up, much too fucked up to return her feelings but I think she did love him at this point, if nothing just wanting to save him from himself, so I think that’s on par

- The real oh fuck comes during the war when they went at Kaguya

- SAKURA NEEDED TO DO MORE, AND SASUKE WOULDVE NOTICED HER MORE AND BEEN MORE IMPRESSED

- 100% keep the sasuke teleporting using sakuras jacket and then catching her before she passes out from low chakra that shit was nice and he just kept holding her too and that eye contact BITCH

- The way I’ve written this rewrite so far, I do think the last confession was appropriate. One for the whole show is good.

- Because this would be her first verbal confession it would be more dramatic in a good way and more impactful.

- Everything else would play out the same

- But when sasuke leaves to atone for his sins or whatever I’d like to see a private conversation between him and Sakura where he truly does apologize and maybe even spice it up, have him tell her to find someone that deserves her love

- It’ll leave her thinking and he still gives her the forehead poke and tells her to take care

- And they still get together and all that but I wanna see howwwwww

- ALSO SASUKE STOP BEING AN ABSENT FATHER CHALLENGE

- I think that whole thing of Sarada not recognizing her own father is pretty FUCKED UP and I know it creates conflict and all that and sasukes character whatever okay fine keep it whatever

- But Fuck that stupid mother Karin arc

- And show more sasusaku interactions

- Sasuke hangs out with Naruto more than his own wife man is it that hard to think Sasuke can be around more now

- I do really like how Sasuke and Sakura are both rly involved with Saradas training. Overall they’re a cute family. WHy tf does Kakashi give Sasuke parenting advice from Makeout Paradise tho like wtf MAJOR CREEPY also Kawaki and Sarada p cute together idk

- I’m tired I’m gonna take a nap peace

[rosiehunterwolf]

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow

Prompts: Chores and Video Games

Word Count: 4,850

Characters: The squad + Pixal

Timeline: between seasons 11 and 12

Trigger Warnings: None

Summary: …what can be done today, yada, yada, yada, we all know the saying. So do the ninja- when Master Wu is drilling it into their heads every minute of every day, it’s kind of hard to forget.

Naturally, it only takes them a week (and the biggest new video game in Ninjago) to do so.

Read on FFN.net

Read on Ao3

Tumblr work under the cut

“Get that gun out of his hand! Without it, he’ll be defenseless and we can take him down easily!” “I’m trying, Jay!” Lloyd said through gritted teeth. “One wrong move and he’ll get me with that thing!”

“Use your powers!” Jay raised his sword and dove at the enemy, forcing him to turn and face him. As their swords clashed with a loud clang of metal, Jay quickly pulled back as Lloyd shot a blast of power at the attacker, who promptly collapsed to the ground.

“Alright! Way to go, green ma- look out!”

Lloyd shrieked as someone suddenly jumped on him from behind, skewering a sword through his skull. The green ninja fell to the ground and vanished in a puff of smoke.

The ninja blinked at the scene before them, speechless.

Jay suddenly let out a whoop, leaning over to high-five Kai. “Way to go, bro! You’re so good at this game!” “He came out of nowhere,” Lloyd huffed, tossing his control to the ground. “He didn’t even give me a chance to fight back.”

Kai reclined, putting his hands behind his head. “Work smarter, not harder, green machine.”

Lloyd scowled, and Nya shot him a sympathetic glance. “Hey, Lloyd, you lasted a whole ten minutes longer than last time! You’ve drastically improved.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Kai winked. “Even Jay couldn’t beat me, I wouldn’t expect you to.”

Cole shook his head. “Dude, you’re unchecked! We’ve only had this game for a week and already, you’re insane. Let’s just say I’m very glad you’re on our team.”

“I’ll say,” Zane agreed. “The Critical Conquest Gaming Tournament is going to have some of the best gamers in Ninjago. You’re good, Kai- we all are- but we all need to be at the top of our game if we want a chance at winning.”

“We got this, guys,” Nya assured. “We’ve fought off serpentine, ghosts, the Overlord, Oni- winning a city-wide video game tournament should be a piece of cake.”

“Speaking of cake-”

“No cake,” Jay snapped at Cole. “Not until we’ve won this thing. I need you to practice.”

“Dude, chill, I’ve been practicing!”

“Then can you show me your double twist dash-melee maneuver?”

Cole blinked at him. “My what?”

“That’s what I thought. Here, let me show you. We’ll try until you’ve got it down.”

“Who put you in charge?”

“You did. Literally. You guys chose me to be the team captain for the competition.”

“Whatever.”

“Lloyd, come here, so he has someone to practice on.”

“Why me?” “Because you need to work on your stealth. Kai got that jump on you surprisingly easily. You’re a good fighter, Lloyd, but fighting doesn’t matter if your enemy kills you before you have the chance. Practice your stealth and dodging on Cole.”

“Ready to get your butt kicked, bud?” Cole reached his hands out, cracking his knuckles before picking up the controller.

“Ha! You wish. The only one who will be getting their butt kicked is-”

The sharp rapping of something against the floor interrupted him, and they turned to see Master Wu standing behind them, his gaze disapproving as he clutched his staff firmly in hand.

“Students, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Uhh, practicing for the Critical Conquest tournament?” Nya said. “I thought that was pretty obvious!”

Wu glared at her. “I know what you’re doing. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut all this short. The six of you have many chores to do.”

“Chores?” they cried in unison.

“The past week since you bought that game, you have done nothing but sit around on that couch and play it. In all that time, your chores have piled up. Now, I’m cutting you off. They need to be done, now.”

“But Master!” Jay pleaded. “The tournament starts in only a few hours!”

Master Wu smirked. “Well, I guess you better be fast, then.”

---

The ninja stared down at the alarmingly long list Master Wu had given them, no one speaking a word for nearly a solid minute.

“Why,” Kai groaned, “did we ever put all of these off?”

“Why didn’t Master Wu just let us wait one more day to do the chores?” Jay complained. “The tournament would be all over then!”

“Well, he didn’t,” Cole said. “So there’s no use in complaining. We might as well get started.”

“Alright, guys, if we’re going to get through all of this before the tournament starts, we’re gonna have to divide and conquer,” Nya said. “Let’s see. Zane, Lloyd, you guys take the kitchen. Jay, Cole, you can check the vehicles to make sure they’re operating properly- wait, scratch that, Cole doesn’t know shit about mechanics. Besides, putting you two alone together is never a good idea.”

“Hey!”

“Zane, you go with Jay on the machines. Cole, you’re with Lloyd. Kai and I will work outside on raking and fixing the training course.”

“Hey, no fair, you just gave yourself the easiest job!” Cole grumbled.

“I’ll inform you that raking leaves is very mundane!”

“Yeah!” Kai snapped. “Especially when it’s cold out like this. I’m gonna freeze my fingers off!”

“You’re the fire ninja, you’ll figure something out,” Nya snapped. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Hey, Cole? You think this is so easy? We can trade places! You wanna trade places?”

“Actually, I’ve decided to be nice and let you take this one.”

Kai glared at him. “You’re only saying that because you know I hate it!” Cole leaned back against the table, smirking. “Maybe.”

“Come on, Kai, we’re going.” Nya grabbed his hand and yanked him out the door.

“I guess we better get working,” Cole sighed. “Jay, Zane, you guys need a copy of your tasks?” Zane shook his head. “I’ve got the list committed to memory. And there’s a lot to do, so we better go.”

As they left the room, Cole turned to Lloyd. “Put a check mark or something by the things the others are doing, so we can see what’s left for us.”

Lloyd made little marks next to the tasks, his pencil slowing as it reached the end. His frown deepened. “I swear, this list is getting longer. Some of these are just ridiculous! Polish the counters? Clean out the oven? Dust the tops of the cabinets? Who does these things?”

“Normal people, Lloyd. It’s not my fault that we’re so busy saving the city that you’ve never done anything more than the most basic chores in your life.”

“I’ve done chores!” “Darkley’s doesn’t count, bud. I bet the only thing you did there was clean spiders out of your bed.”

“They were fire ants,” Lloyd grumbled.

Cole turned on him with wide eyes. “What?”

Lloyd stiffened, suddenly seeming to realize what he had just said. “Uh… I mean… don’t tell Kai, okay?”

Cole stared at him for a moment, before sighing. “I’ll let it go, this once. But only because you’ve had a lot worse things than fire ants since then. Those kids are jerks, though.”

“I know.”

“... They really did that?”

“Yes, Cole! Do I need to show the scars to prove it?”

“No! I was just- you know what, forget I even said anything. Let’s get to work. First up, doing the dishes.” They turned towards the sink, where dozens of dirty plates and cups had accumulated.

“Seriously? Doesn’t anyone ever clean off their dishes after eating?”

Cole shot him a look. “Name one time you did that.”

“Okay, so never, but we’re ninja, not dishwashers! What do you expect?”

“Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today, Lloyd.”

Lloyd groaned. “I can’t believe I’m missing Critical Conquest for this.”

---

“Jay! You’re supposed to be repairing the sentry cannons on the Land Bounty!” “Chill out, Zane, I’ll get to it in a minute-”

Zane suddenly snatched the remote control out of his hand. “Jay! We’re never going to finish in time for the tournament if you don’t focus! Stop playing with toys!” “It’s not a toy!” He gestured towards the small remote-controlled robot. “This thing is going to be a major distraction! It could make it or break it for us in battle!”

Zane eyed the robot skeptically. “This. Distract our enemies?”

“Well, I was going to make it into a smoke bomb, but someone kept pestering me!” “Look, Jay, this isn’t the time to work on your inventions. You can do that later. Right now, you need to fix the sentries.”

“I already looked at the sentries,” he whined. “They were completely fried in our last adventure. I have to rewire the whole thing.”

Zane blinked at him. “Isn’t… that kind of your job?”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard work! I don’t want to do it! I’ll take any other chore on your list.”

“Well, someone needs to do it, and you’re the only one who knows how.”

“Not true! Why don’t you ask Pixal?”

He gestured towards the nindriod, who was tinkering with what appeared to be a small metal box.

“Pixal,” he called, walking over to her, “do you know how to rewire the sentries?” “Yes, but I know for a fact that Jay does, too. I’m not doing it for you.”

“Aww, come on, Pix,” Jay groaned. “Why don’t you have to do anything while the rest of us are all working our butts off?”

She glanced wryly at Jay’s little robot, who was waving cheerfully at her. “I wouldn’t exactly call it that. But I’m not helping because I already did all my chores while the rest of you were playing video games.”

Jay went pink in the face, and even Zane felt himself avoiding Pixal’s gaze.

“Critical Conquest is very important,” Jay muttered.

“More important than making sure all our weapons are operational? Or restocking the medbay?”

“We can do those things any time! The competition is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”

“Actually, there is another one next month-”

“Shut up, Zane. With our luck, we’ll probably be fighting evil nindroids or will be locked inside a different realm by that point, anyway.”

“I’m not helping you,” Pixal sniffed. “So I don’t know why you’re still here.”

Not taking Pixal’s… not-so-subtle hints, Jay leaned in towards her. “Whatcha workin’ on?”

Pixal eyed him warily. “... It’s a jetpack. I wanted to make something more compact in case I was in a situation where I couldn’t use the Samurai X suit.”

“That’s cool! Although, it might work better if you recalibrated the engines to-”

“Jay,” Pixal said sharply. “I know what I’m doing. Please go work on your chores.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “No one ever lets me have any fun.”

Zane shook his head, wandering over to the Earth Driller where he was working on replacing the paneling that had been damaged in the Oni incident.

He couldn’t have been doing so for more than fifteen minutes when the sound of a small explosion interrupted him.

Zane jerked to his feet, dashing over to where the sound had come from.

Jay had jumped back from Pixal’s jetpack, which was now black and smoking.

Of course it was.

“What happened?”

Jay scratched his head nervously. “Well, you see… I really didn’t want to work on those sentries, so when I noticed Pixal stepping out of the room for a moment…”

Zane sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you alright?”

Jay grinned. “Right as rain. Not even a scar like last time!”

“Okay, that’s good, now I feel less bad for saying this- what were you thinking?”

“I couldn’t help myself, Zane! She calibrated it all wrong!”

“Well, evidently, you were the one who did it wrong, seeing as it exploded within five minutes of you getting your hands on it.”

Jay jumped nearly a foot in the air. “Pixal! You’re back! Ah… um, I’m really sorry about your jetpack, I was only trying to…”

Pixal marched forward, snatching it off the floor. “It doesn’t matter, it’s done now.”

“I can fix it-”

“You’ve done quite enough,” Pixal snapped. “Why don’t you just go finish your chores now?”

“But-”

Pixal held up the burnt jetpack, shaking it lightly. “You owe me.”

“Fine,” Jay groaned. “I’ll rewire the stupid sentries.”

---

“If I have to rake one more pile of leaves, something is going to end up on fire.”

“Well, luckily for you, that was the last of them.” Nya set down her rake, rubbing her hands together. “Now we just have to dispose of the leaf bags.”

She and Kai glanced over towards the towering pile of leaf bags, and Kai groaned.

“It’s going to take forever to throw these all away!”

“Kai, the dumpster is just on the other side of the Monastery wall!”

“Yeah, but we can only carry a few bags at a time, and we’re going to have to make so many trips!”

“Well, unless you’ve got a better idea, we don’t have a choice.”

Kai paused, his eyes lighting up. “Wait-”

“No, Kai, we are not burning the leaves.”

“I wasn’t going to say that! Although… it’s not a half-bad idea…”

“Kai!” “Okay, okay, no burning! What I was going to say was, why don’t we just toss the bags over the wall and into the dumpster?”

Nya frowned. “We’d miss half of them and then have to go over there anyway and pick them all up.”

“No, we could do it like in Critical Conquest! Remember? The ground-bash move? This is just like that!”

“Kai, that’s just a video game. This is real life!” “Yeah, but wouldn’t it still work?”

Nya frowned, stepping forward and eyeing up the roof of the Monastery. “I suppose if we got the right angle… we’d have to make sure an ample amount of newtons were applied with each hit to reach the correct velocity… and of course we’d have to take into consideration factors like density and wind acceleration per second and its tendency to carry-”

“Okay, okay, enough with your science-y nerd stuff!”

“It’s just basic physics, Kai. I mean, there are a lot of external factors to consider that wouldn’t be present in a lab setting, although I still think it would be quite simple-”

“Would it work or not?” Kai interrupted. “Yes or no, I want a one-word answer.”

“Yes. We just need to get the proper positioning-”

“Can I be the one bashing the bags?”

Nya sighed. “Only if you do exactly as I tell you-”

“Whoooooo!” Kai cried, running off to grab the rake as he swung it around fiercely. “Who’s ready to bash some leaf bags?”

“Kai! I said to do exactly as I say-”

---

Despite Nya’s initial trepidations, the process did not end up being a total disaster, and they actually ended up getting the chore done decently quickly. Now all they had left to do was to test and recalibrate the training course.

Nya glanced down at her watch. Only an hour and a half until the tournament started. Her chances of getting extra practice on those tricky combos were looking slimmer by the second. Hopefully, Kai’s mastery of the game, Jay’s high skill levels, and Cole’s advanced items and power-ups would be enough to help them beat-

“Nya!” Kai shrieked. “I said, turn it off!”

Nya snapped out of her thoughts, glancing up at her brother, who had been knocked to the ground by a whirring training dummy. “Oh, shit!” She spun towards the controls and shut them down, jogging over to Kai. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so, I just-” Kai reached for her extended hand, pulling back with a sharp cry as they made contact.

“What?” “My hand,” he grimaced. “It hurts like hell.”

---

“You can’t throw out the Eggo Waffles!” Lloyd insisted, grabbing at the box in Cole’s hands

“Lloyd, they expired three days ago.”

“So what, they’re still edible.”

“They’re going.” Cole gave the box a strong tug, jerking it out of Lloyd’s hands and dropping it in the garbage. Lloyd huffed, crossing his arms.

“Kai would’ve let me keep them.”

“No, he wouldn’t have, because he doesn’t want you to get food poisoning.”

Lloyd paused for a moment, before amending, “Jay would’ve let me keep them.”

Cole sighed. “Yeah, and then you guys would’ve eaten them, and we would’ve ended up with two sick ninja.”

“I wouldn’t get sick! I have these super cool powers that protect me-”

“We don’t have any proof of that. We still don’t know exactly what your powers do.”

“Which means we can’t rule that out yet!”

Cole rubbed his head. “Out of all the people I could’ve gotten stuck cleaning out the freezer with… it had to be you. The one who gets emotionally attached to frozen waffles.”

“I am not emotionally attached-”

“Are you kidding me? He can’t play with this on! This thing is stiff, it seriously restricts his movement!” “It’s not a question, Jay, he needs to keep it on!”

“Is it actually that bad, though? Couldn’t he skip it for one game?”

“Not unless you want it to get worse!” Cole and Lloyd exchanged a glance and stepped out into the hallway, where the other four ninja were gathered.

“What’s going on?”

Zane opened his mouth to speak. “There was-”

“Kai!” Lloyd interrupted suddenly, darting over to him. “What happened to your hand?”

Cole blinked, realizing for the first time that Kai had a swathe of bandages wrapped around his hand.

Kai yelped in pain as Lloyd touched it, and the green ninja recoiled, his eyes widening in guilt. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry!”

Nya rolled her eyes. “Don’t apologize, Lloyd, he’s fine. He’s just being a big baby about all of this.”

“Am not. It hurts!”

Zane stifled a sigh. “Kai, it is only a bad pulled muscle. Apart from being painful and needing plenty of rest, it’s nothing serious.”

“Well, you don’t know what it feels like,” Kai snapped. “It’s a lot worse than ‘nothing serious.’”

“I scanned you. I am quite certain my diagnosis is correct.”

Nya snickered, and Kai shot her a look. “Shut up, you. You’re the one who did this to me.”

“You’re the one who wasn’t paying attention!” “Yeah, well, you’re the one who was supposed to be-”

“Guys!” Jay cried. “Can’t you see we have more pressing matters at hand? Severe injury or not, Kai can’t play Critical Conquest like this. And he’s our best player!”

“Alright,” Lloyd said. “So we don’t have our best player anymore. That’s bad. But Jay’s still a beast! And Cole, and Nya, and everyone except me, basically-”

“He could be the worst player in all of existence and it still wouldn’t matter,” Cole pointed out. “We need six players to compete or they will disqualify us.”

“But if Kai can’t play, we have no one else! There are no backups!” Nya huffed, turning on Jay. “You’re our team captain! Why didn’t you prepare any backups?”

“Because we know no one else! We live in an isolated monastery at the top of the tallest mountain for miles, what did you expect? Besides, I wasn’t anticipating this to happen!” Zane frowned. “Well, if Kai can’t play, and we have no backup, then our only choice is to drop out-”

“Wait!” Jay cried suddenly. “I think I might have an idea of someone.”

---

“Please please please please-”

Pixal raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you really think begging is going to change my mind?”

“Please, Pixal, we need a sixth player, and you’re the only person I can think of!”

“Why would I help you after you blew up my jetpack?” Kai gaped at him. “You what?”

Jay fought back the heat spreading across his face. “That’s not important right now! Pixal, I promise I’ll fix it, just please compete with us!”

Pixal frowned at him, which wasn’t the most reassuring answer.

“C’mon Pix- I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t know, Jay-”

“We’ll do all your chores for the next month.”

“What?” “We will?”

“Jay, what the heck! We never agreed to that!”

Pixal smiled at him. “I would’ve accepted it if you offered a week, but that’s very generous of you.”

The others shot him smoldering glares, and Jay groaned. “It doesn’t matter, we don’t have time for this.” Glancing down at his phone, he sucked in his breath. “We’ve only got an hour until the tournament! Zane, can you teach Pixal how to play?”

Zane blinked at him. “In an hour?”

“Just cover the basics. We don’t have time for perfection. Just teach her as much as you can before the tournament starts.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

As soon as they were out of the room, Jay wheeled around, moaning. “We are so hooped! She doesn’t know how to play! Kai, how could you be careless enough to injure yourself?”

“Oh, sure, blame the victim!” Kai snapped. “Would it kill you to show a little sympathy to your injured teammate?”

“You pulled a muscle, you baby!” Nya groaned. “Pixal’s a fast learner, hopefully, she’ll get the hang of it.”

“Fast learner or not, nothing can beat hours of experience,” Lloyd said. “Let’s just hope the other contestants aren’t as good.”

---

“These dudes are insane!”

Jay continued to scroll through the queued-up players, examining their stats, his jaw dropping. “How much have these people been grinding?”

“So much for an easy win,” Lloyd grumbled.

Zane and Pixal walked into the room, holding their controllers. “I think I’ve done everything I can with Pixal. The competition starts in five minutes, I suggest we get ready.”

“Alright.” Jay turned towards Pixal as Zane worked on setting up the game. “We’re going to need your help, but since you don’t have experience, I think the best move is to have you stay behind us and play defense.”

Pixal smirked. “I’ll do my best.”

“Guys, we have to queue up!” “Are the headsets working?”

“They’re ready, what about the controllers? All charged?”

“We really shouldn’t be checking these kinds of things literally three minutes before the tournament, but yes, they are.”

“Hurry, guys! It’s about to start!”

Zane blinked at the screen. “Jay… you named our team the Fast Chickens?”

“It’s a good name!” The others groaned, and Jay glared at them. “We’ll see who’s complaining when we win this thing!”

Jay fidgeted through most of the opening speeches from the hosts of the competition as they went over rules and procedures. And, after what simultaneously felt like both a million years later and only the blink of an eye, the game was finally starting. They got lucky with their spawn point, and after a few minutes, were able to collect some good resources and get a good start. Cole, Zane, and Nya were able to take down some of the weaker groups before they collected supplies while Jay and the others continued collecting and building up defenses.

Checking the score count, he could see there were already twenty teams down in various parts of the map, and he knew his team had been responsible for felling three of them. Jay couldn’t stop himself from smiling. It seemed like nothing could be going better.

That is, until they suffered a major blow on the southwestern flank of their territory against a high-level team- the CrownViolets, they called themselves. (Which was nowhere near as cool sounding as the Fast Chickens, Jay totally wasn’t insecure about that at all.) After a fierce fight that ended up costing them several lives- and robbing Zane of his last, taking him out of the game- they realized they couldn’t win this fight and backed down, sacrificing a sizeable chunk of their turf.

While still monitoring that boundary, they decided to primarily focus on expanding in the other direction. Their tactic seemed to be working well, and although the CrownViolets kept on encroaching on them from the boundary, the other teams weren’t backing down, and although none managed to defeat the rival team, they were certainly taking their tolls on them. Jay hoped that the other teams would eventually take the Violets out for them, although he had to admit that would be extremely lucky.

They were getting down to the last few teams in the tournament. When the top ten were remaining, special, more deadly weapons were hidden around, and with them, teams began to fight back harder. The Fast Chickens held their own, but by the time they were down to two teams remaining- them and the CrownViolets- both Jay and Lloyd had been killed and eliminated. Only Cole, Nya, and Pixal remained. The CrownViolets still had four players left, but they were weak. If the ninja were strategic enough, they could still win this.

But Pixal was a major hindrance. She had been plenty good at holding back and defending them, but now, with so few left, she was going to have to start playing a more active role. If only Kai had still been there.

“Alright, they’re somewhere around here.” Nya’s character pulled up her radar. “There seems to be two of them right up ahead-”

“Alright, Pixal.” Jay leaned over her shoulder, coaching her. “You’re going to have to start getting offensive. Nya says there’s only two, so there shouldn’t be a problem, but there could be an ambush, or these two could have higher health. We don’t want to take any chances. While Nya and Cole rush them, you should stay back and shoot at them with your launchers. Your character has good accuracy scores.”

There was a flash of purple, and muffled shouting, and Nya froze. “There they are! Let’s get them, guys!”

The three plunged into the fight, and although it was a tough battle, their opponents were relatively low on health, and they ended up eliminating the two CrownViolets- unfortunately, with the loss of Nya before doing so.

“It’s just the two of us left, Pixal,” Cole said, “but there’s also only two of them, as well. We can do this. Just stick close to me. They’re around here somewhere.”

“And that somewhere is here!” Pixal shrieked suddenly, whirling around.

Cole’s eyes widened. “One of their teammates must’ve sent out a distress signal before they died!” He grappled for his weapon, but in his haste, his grip was sloppy.

Pixal, however, barely hesitated, diving at their opponent and attacking in a flurry of blows. Jay’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as she performed a complex combo it had taken him a full day to learn.

Zane smiled at all their gaping mouths. “I told you to have faith in her.”

Cole was evidently shocked too, and within a few moments, he was dead- although not before delivering a nearly fatal blow to his opponent. Pixal quickly finished him off before turning to face the last remaining player.

“Be careful, Pix,” Jay warned. “She still has pretty high health. Don’t get cocky, or take dumb risks.”

“Dumb risks are your thing,” Pixal corrected, not even batting an eye as she darted past her opponent, slashing her with her sword.

The CrownViolet wasn’t giving up, though. She pushed back, throwing down a smoke bomb and suddenly pushing Pixal down from behind. Pixal rolled out of the way, missing her sword by inches, and sprung up, taking the moment of surprise to her advantage to knock her opponent down. As the rival started crawling away, Pixal’s character took a potion, powering up a special move. The opponent knocked her down as she was waiting to power up, but before she could get a good attack in, Pixal was ready and was blasting her a beam of light.

The girl’s avatar fell to the ground, dead.

There was a beat of silence, then their living room erupted in cheers.

“Pixal! You did it! You won the game for us!”

“I can’t believe it! We actually won! Without Kai!”

“Hey,” Kai yelped. “That didn’t sound like it was meant to be a compliment.”

“What do you mean,” Lloyd said. “That was totally a super nice thing I just said about you.”

Kai narrowed his eyes. “A bit backhanded, don’t you think?”

“Guys, none of that is important!” Cole cried. “We won! Out of all the gamers in the city! We actually won!”

“But I have to know,” Jay insisted. “How did you get so good at the game?”

Pixal shrugged. “I guess you pick up a thing or two watching your team play a game obsessively for the past week.”

Jay blinked. “You’ve been watching us?”

She scowled. “I’ve been doing the chores in here, lightning brain! Repairs, laundry, picking up after you- you’ve just been too obsessed by your game to even notice me!”

“Oh, really? Uh, that’s my bad…”

“Speaking of which, you promised to do my chores, and I’m looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening off.”

“Did I?” Jay laughed nervously. “Hey, did I ever mention that the tournament winners get a cash prize-”

Pixal handed him a mop. “Nice try. Although I still expect my fair share of the earnings by the end of the week. Good luck.” The ninja just gazed at her in horror, and she laughed.

“You’re going to need it.”

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

Ugh. Kingsmen goes on again with the “Kaiser was a mad warmonger who wanted and started the war almost all by himself” myth. I didn’t mind the movie making the three royal cousins all the same age to have them playing as children for dramatic and comedic effect but the German villainy cliche was disappointing. Not surprising, mind you, just disappointing. Unlike WWII, WWI was not completely the Germans’ fault.

-Also, ignoring the Nicky-Willy correspondence to make it seem as if Tsar Nicholas and Kaiser Wilhelm hadn’t cared nor tried to stop the war. I am obviously not saying they did nearly enough or everything they could have but they were not indifferent buffoons either. They literally have a fictional secret society made up of rich war profiteers in the freaking movie as the villain, why the hell is it not used more to explain the origins of the war?

-And of course only the English and their monarch are super innocent angels here because of course they are. The historically accurate British concentration camps in South Africa at the beginning of the movie were just an “opsie” footnote.

-Also, Rasputin tried to warn the Tsar AGAINST that awful shitstorm of a war. He helped the poor and Jewish people, who were awfully oppressed in the Russian Empire. Other than loving to fuck, which might have even been greatly exaggerated according to some historians, he was a generally decent guy. But I guess he looks creepy or whatever and makes for a good villain so who cares if it would have been way cooler to subvert the audience’s expectations with a historically accurate twist.

Again, disappointed but not surprised.

I am only halfway through so I might be pleasantly surprised in the end.

-Also, fuck them if they don’t use their goofy historically inaccurate mumbo jumbo to make it so the ninja Kingsmen save the Romanov children from being murdered in the end, I swear…. like, I doubt it but if you are going to be historically inaccurate you should use your historical inaccuracy for good (Don’t mind me I am just an OTMAA fan, I doubt they are going to appear much in the movie anyway but still, I am salty already about the fact their fates won’t be mentioned).

Loving the concept and the aesthetics though. A Kingsmen movie set in WWI? Sign me up. The two father and son characters are likeable so far as well.

Edit: Oh, so now the villains are villains for trying to take Russia out of the war? A poor country who had lost thousands of soldiers and was barely prepared for that carnage? Seriously? Who wrote this, early 20th century “Rasputin and the Empress are lovers and German spies!!!” Russian yellow press propagandists? Also, the Russians literally marched for bread and peace during the February revolution, now they are coincidentally on the side of the villains without meaning to or what? Such a bad message in my opinion…

On the other hand, very good concept with the father not wanting his son to go to war because he is traumatized by it. Just subtle criticism of colonialism but something is something. Already invested in this.

Too bad so far they haven’t committed enough to the pacifist message even though WWI movies are a perfect opportunity to do so. Like seriously, it is all about ENGLAND and how it is bad for Russia to be out of the war because it affects ENGLAND negatively and who cares about the Russian peasants dying I guess because the Scottish villain hates ENGLAND and only wants to destroy ENGLAND. This when the first victims of the war were the Serbians. I think it would have made more sense if the villain had been trying to destroy all European powers, and even going with the “sympathetic villain” angle this would have made sense since Russia, England, France, Austro-Hungary and Germany all held colonies or at least oppressed people of other ethnicities. It would make sense that someone who has been a victim of imperialism would want to destroy all nations involved in it even if by immoral means such as war that kills common people and not the actual culprits. Another option would be putting emphasis on how much money arms’ dealers with zero allegiances make during wartime and how sometimes they pull strings in the government or influence the public in favor of war for this very reason.

This, however, is far too complex and wouldn’t allow the writers to single out Germany as the sole villain or use their accents for villainous comedic relief so I guess not…

Edit 2: And of course, the absolute myth that the Tsar was even considering pulling out of the war *eye rolls* Tsar Nicholas believed in the allied cause wholeheartedly. He was a honorable fool.  Almost real life’s version of Ned Stark. Often said to have been a good man but a bad leader.  He would have never done that. 

"Reality is more interesting than fiction" is a bullshit lie repeated by many angry historians whenever they review historically inaccurate movies or series, but in this case it might very well be true. Alexei's very real hemophilia and the fascinating mystery of how Rasputin managed to either heal his attacks or convince Alexandra he was capable of doing so is replaced in this movie with Rasputin poisoning the poor child on purpose to "evily" *checks notes* convince Nicholas to pull Russia out of a bloody war that had little to do with Russia, was being fought for typical "muh honor" reasons, had already killed thousands of peasant and working class Russian soldiers, and would soon turn the nation into a starving chaotic mess in part due to the fact its transportation system failed because of the ongoing conflict. Too ridiculous to bear.

A little side note away from the main topic but after this I don’t want more pop historians or college dissertations saying that Alexei “muh unfairly received much more attention than his poor sidelined-by-history female sisters who are the only ones truly in need of having their stories told!!” Like seriously, the poor kid was such a kind soul, especially later in life, but most only know him for being sick and “causing” the revolution almost all by himself with his illness (Which is of course simplistic and dumb), having beautiful and much more talked about older sisters, being a plot device in pieces of fiction such as this, and being spoilt and bratty as a small child, something thousands of children as well as his much more popular sister Anastasia also were without being villainized or sidelined for it.  Being reduced to your chronic illness and even then having the effects it had on yourself ignored and instead having everyone focus on how it made everything bad for OTHER people by historians is hardly “receiving attention” or “having your story told”.  They ALL should have their stories told thank you very much.

Ok, end of side note.

Of fucking course they are not going to mention how Saint England, the hero of this story, refused the Tsar and his family assylum after the revolution despite him having been a faithful and committed ally to England throughout the entire war who even refused a separate peace with Germany because that would not have been "honorable" without the English being involved. The English pretty much used him and his nation for man power and then abandoned him and labeled him a "weak" leader once he was no longer useful.

Of course they are not going to mention Germany's peace offers. Did they have some harsh conditions? Sure, the Germans were as stubburn and guilty and full of shit. Could it have been worth it to give those peace offers a chance so that the war had been cut short and thousands of lives spared? I don't know. Fucking maybe.

Also, it is funny because there is a conspiracy theory that says the English intelligence did indeed have something to do with Rasputin's murder because they feared he would try to convince the Tsar to pull out of the war. But I guess here they are the heroes for doing so. So much for an anti-war movie.

Also 2. Lenin was the one who in fact did everything he could to take Russia out of the war, helped by the Germans, who British writers love to make villains of, AND he was an even more morally dubious character than Rasputin. But he is also loved even today and it would have been far too controversial to make him a villain (And *cough* *cough* he was not "scary" looking enough) so I bet the writers didn't DARE to go there.

I beg you writers, if you want villains with creepy German accents for your goofy spy action movies, please, please, set your movie in WWII or at least in Belgium or German South West Africa. Very few people know about the Herero genocide by the German colonialists.

Edit 3: Also, I know what you are thinking. No, I don't care this is a goofy Kingsmen action movie that is not trying to be serious nor historically accurate. I know they are mainly trying to be entertaining. They could have been that AND chosen better WHERE to place the inaccuracies and creative liberties to make for a better story. Just as goofy and with as many unrealistic action sequences or unlikely scenes where the main characters meet real historical ones, which I love, but with more substance and a better message. This just doesn't do it for me for reasons already mentioned, and it is not like the moviemakers were not to some degree trying to have substance. The main characters dig at imperialism, greed and its role in war is hinted at, etc. But it is not enough, it is so sloppily and half-way done I would have preferred for the movie to be a straight up comedy or parody, which it wasn't, it simply wasn't because there were themes hidden in there that the writers didn't fully commit to because the plot just didn't help.

Edit 4: That Rasputin scene was funny and creepy in a good way, I don't doubt he was an unsettling individual to be around even in real life. Too bad the set up was dumb as hell. The "heroes" being "heroes" for trying to murder a man who is trying to stop the war (I know he did more than that and his objectives are others here in the movie but you get what I mean, the message is bad, stupid and it is very disturbing the writers chose this plot path considering the very real theory that exists involving the British intelligence in Rasputin's murder).

I am a sucker so loved the fight choreography though, it was unbelievable and AMAZING, and the concern the son had for his almost murdered father was moving. I really do dig the characters. This review is me basically whining about the movie's wasted potential.

Edit 5: Ok, spoke too early. There is Lenin, omg this is so goofy lol.

Edit 6: It rubs me the wrong way how they talk about "saving lives" when literally all they are doing is either pulling more countries into the war or stopping others from leaving that mess. That is literally all they are doing. Helping win the war? Sure they are! Saving lives? That is VERY debatable. Where are the peace negotiations? Where are the actual attempts to infiltrate the Germans and convince them, to ask them for a cease fire? Where is the Red Cross work the main character did at the beginning of the movie? This is what I don't like about this movie. The Kingsmen are supposedly the first independant intelligence agency. Why the hell then are all their actions in service of the government? I get still taking into account England's interests before everything, that is their country after all, but for a suposedly independant organization they sure don't think outside the box nor do anything different from what other agencies would.

The worst part is the inconsistent anti war montage of Conrad training for the army. What is the point of that if they have already established the Kingsmen are doing nothing for peace negotiations and that the only way for the war to stop is for the allies to win?

Also, as a Mexican, the drama of the Zimmermann telegram scene makes me laugh out loud because we were in the middle of a Civil War back then, we were so not a threat to the United States lol.

Edit 7: Nice action scenes. Good. Stick to that lol.

Also, good on them for showing the side effects of war. Conrad, baby :(

Edit 8: Super spoiler ahead. More spoilery than all the spoilers I have already given lol.

Wow, they actually made one of the main characters die. Heartbreaking and not at all what I wanted for the character, who had potential, but all things considered, the only brave and realistic choice the movie has made so far.

The father's reaction was sad as well.

Still annoyed by the mixed messages. There is no glory in war they say, except all the main characters have tried to do is win, not stop the war by trying any means at hand, which includes working on peace offers.

Edit 9: No way Lenin himself is the one who makes Nicholas abdicate. This is "History: Youtube comment version."

It is like they are trying to be historically inaccurate on purpose at this point, and not because it serves an important purpose in the story, whether dramatically or comedically, but because it makes it simpler. Why not have a character briefly explain what actually happened in Russia then? How there were food shortages and riots, Nicholas's train was stopped by the generals who didn't want him anymore, the Provisional Government was formed and fell in less than a year when Lenin took power during a coup, etc. I will say it again, this movie is so goofy, and I know it was realistic and portrayed the horrors of war accurately, but after Conrad's death the heart of the movie, which was the father-son relationship, is gone. I don't really look forward to seeing what happens next but I will do it because I hate leaving movies unfinished.

Edit 10: This movie should be called: "American interventionism is good, actually".

Edit 11: More action scenes, sniper girl and machete action guy, yay! STICK TO THAT!!

Edit 12: And we are on to the villain reveal, which is meh. Generic but not bad. Would have been so much more satisfying in a better movie.

Edit 13: In the end the villain is killed by the main character, which mind you, I don't care about those stupid "If you kill murderers, torturers and abusers then you are just like them" bullshit kid's show sermons, but in this movie they made it a clear attack against pacifism. So weird.

Yay, thousands of Americans are going to die now in a war thousands of miles away that has nothing to do with them, what a happy ending!! *eye rolls*

I am just so underwhelmed with this film, I guess it is because I expected so much from it. Silly me.

I recommend it though. Nice action. Wish it had remained a full action-comedy/parody but instead it is a film that doesn't even know what its fucking genre is. It is irreverent and pokes fun at history one second and then the next they are trying but failing to take imperialism and war profiteering seriously. They have scenes where they humanize the Germans and the main character criticizes the Versailles Treaty in the end but the thought of a mission to negotiate with or infiltrate them never even crossed the main characters' minds throughout the movie. In a serious historically accurate war movie I can see why not, but this is what a good use of artistic liberty would actually be.

The main kid just fucking dies and I understand now why I hate it so much other than the fact I generally hate main character deaths: This is not a serious WWI film. It can't freaking decide whether it wants to take the historical aspect of its plot seriously. This is supposed to be an action film with unrealistic yet satisfying battle scenes where the heroes always win, and it is most of the time, so why doesn't it go through with that promise? The death wouldn't have bothered me as much if they had also tried to be a serious historical movie that makes use of artistic license ONLY when it serves the story and not just as a "lol we are also a parody of WWI leaders btw" , but they didn't, because they didn't take the historical aspect seriously enough and so the tragic character death seems out of place, a freaking joke even at first, and almost a red herring in this goofy historically inaccurate unrealistic-action-sequences-packed movie where the Tsar, the Kaiser and the King are played by the same actor just for the lols.

Plus the father says there is no glory in war because his kid died and then the next second they are celebrating the fact American kids will die as well (yay?). Which one is it? The inaccuracies are there for no reason because most aren't even funny, honest mistakes, ~cough they aren't self indulgently used to save OTMAA cough~, or even serve a purpose in the story.

Someone needs to write a fix it fic because this had so much freaking potential. Conrad has to live though.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.

lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one

(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)

-- fff why did I laugh

it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME

also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks

blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?

AHHHHHHH

PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS

HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD

(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)

oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news

wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN

so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads

oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it

COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO

MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever

WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII

WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA

YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF

(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)

GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT

dsflksaldkh;l

that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders

“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense

well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance

and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol

anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or

NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS

OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG

“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET

LMAO

“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me

YAY THEY SAVED THEM

but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them

goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here

oh my god

is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT

OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD

“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though

...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god

omg finally something interesting is happening!!

look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme

MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH

I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE

OH MY GOD

MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK

THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --

I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!

HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??

......

HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM

FUCK

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS

FUCK

GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI

AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU

NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”

AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・＿・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped

p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway

(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 

so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)

shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters

(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)

and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit

so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol

ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting

so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what

OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH

Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC

“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith

UM

 ( •̀ へ •́  )

that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite

GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out

is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what

anyways. your turn to what??

:’) excuse me what

hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay

so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg

but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol

meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit

anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it

[captnjacksparrow]

I honestly agree with a lot of your opinions, and even when I don't, I think that your arguments are always well structure and respectful to other people.

But I have some questions (and I'm sorry if you have already answer them), (also sorry for some of my English, it's not my first language)

How do you feel about narusaku?

How do you feel about people changing certain aspects about Sakura to try to improve her character?

How would you improve Sakura?

How much do you think Sakura being a good character could affect the story?

What was the moment you really started to ship SNS? And what are you favorite moments?

(Sorry if there's ro many questions)

I honestly agree with a lot of your opinions, and even when I don't, I think that your arguments are always well structure and respectful to other people.

Aww!!!! Thank you, Anon. This made my day. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I will start from my favourite question (The one in the last)

What was the moment you really started to ship SNS?

I never wore any shipping lens, Anon.

Literally, I started to ship SNS only after Episode 478 or Chapter 698. Before that, I always had these doubts in the back of my mind.

'Something seems to be very weird between these guys',

'Why are they behaving differently compared to other friends?',

'Why Sasuke is behaving totally different towards Naruto?',

'Why Sasuke agreed to honour Naruto's promise under the bridge, despite having no shred of affection towards his other former Team Members?',

'Why Naruto is so obsessed with Sasuke?',

'Why Sasuke felt Naruto's chakra in Konoha and bothered by it?',

'Why Sasuke is protecting Naruto like a precious treasure only to end up wanting to kill him?',

'Why Sasuke has this weird obsession that ONLY I CAN KILL NARUTO but not someone else?',

So, I had all these questions piling up one by one inside my mind as the series progressed and I can't simply jump into a conclusion because I don't know what Sasuke was thinking. I hate one-sided ship and I want reciprocation. So, I usually put all these questions on the back burner and started to focus on the story. Damn!!!, The story was equally captivating and emotionally daunting. When Sasuke finally confessed his feelings towards Naruto in Episode 478, I simply couldn't believe myself but ship them. Because, in no world, Friends would behave this way towards each other.

So, to answer your question, it's after Episode 478, I started to ship them. But if you want me to say when exactly I started to doubt their level of friendship??

It's this moment,

Now you may think, 'Yeah, you saw two boys in a close proximity and decided to ship together. It's nothing strange'.

I have to say, Close proximity was the last thing, I felt from this scene. My reason was those heart breaking scenes that happened before which led to this specific moment.

I will make it as short as possible. I'll start with this

God!! I wanted to punch Sasuke so badly when he said this with a deadpan expression. It looks like he was lying just to get power. I thought, 'Sasuke!!! What a lying piece of crap you are!! If you want to kill Naruto, Just do it. Why doing a fake confession? '.

It doesn't help as the fight progressed because Sasuke was really playing football with Naruto and when this happened,

I was shell-shocked because, the Sasuke we saw so far is no more. It even confirmed my thoughts about the fake confession. Which sane person will ram Chidori through his Close Friend's body?.

After many blows were exchanged, I simply wished for one thing. Naruto should win and Sasuke should be stopped no matter what. When the final Rasengan vs Chidori happened, I couldn't understand what was going on inside that power ball. Naruto and Sasuke look at each other with pained expression and we see the younger version of them smiling at each other.

And then finally we see a knocked out Naruto with Sasuke standing and looking at him without any expression and was about to say, 'Naruto.... I' which was interrupted by rain and when Sasuke felt a stinging pain in his arms and falls down on his knees. He coughs up blood and then this iconic scene happens.

That scene conveyed many things

Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto but couldn't.

Sasuke meant what he said. Naruto is his closest friend, it’s not a lie.

Sasuke couldn't severe his ties completely with Naruto.

Sasuke's pain of saying 'Goodbye' is greater than the stinging pain in his arms.

Sasuke deliberately, I repeat deliberately and not accidentally, came close to look at Naruto's face and experiencing something that, we, audience don't know. 

So, you see, Anon. The emotional train wreck that led to this scene made me really doubt about their depth of feelings they had towards each other for the first time. That's when I thought, 'Something seems to be very weird between these guys, what is it?'

And what are you favorite (SNS) moments?

There are two moments which shows how Sasuke is playing an emotional battle within himself. 

1. Sasuke, Susanoo, Naruto, Minato

This happens right after Sasuke said to Obito, “Not you.... The one who is going to sever the past is....me”.

In this moment, Sasuke can pretty much let Naruto to die, because nobody is trying to kill Naruto. Still, he saved him with a 3 layered protection. The best part is Sasuke acted quicker than Minato, the fastest shinobi, to protect Naruto. Surely Minato wouldn’t want to blow up near his Son, for whom he gave his life once. It’s just that Sasuke is extremely quicker at this moment. 

2. For some reason, My Sharingan deactivated on it’s own

If only, Sasuke maintained his Sharingan, he could’ve traced Naruto’s movements and deflected his upper cut and would’ve successfully landed his Chidori through him. But he just couldn’t. 

Both these scenes happens in a span of a day but Sasuke’s emotions fluctuates a lot when it comes to killing Naruto, protecting Naruto, can’t kill Naruto. 

How much do you think Sakura being a good character could affect the story?

To be Honest Anon, Storywise ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Yes, I agree with her amazing performance in Gaara retrieval Arc where she tagged along with Granny Chiyo and almost killed Sasori.

After that ????

She did nothing in the Sasuke Reunion Arc. It was all about Naruto vs Orochimaru, Yamato’s Wood style jutsu, Sai’s betrayal towards Orochimaru. Geez!!! I liked her attitude in this arc but totally spoiled when she was standing simply like a wooden doll when Sasuke was about to stab Naruto. It was Sai who blocked Sasuke.... I was like, ‘Girl!!!! You said you will save Sasuke for Naruto when he went into 4 tails mode. What happened now??? Why are you not stopping him???’

She was just making Food Pills in the Rasen Shuriken Arc.

She was basically climbing from one tree to another in the Sasuke killing Orochimaru to Sasuke joining Akatsuki Arc. Even Naruto’s role was very minimal in that arc except he met Kabuto, Dead soul of Jiraiya, Itachi, a split second meeting with Sasuke where he got Chidori’ed and fought with Tobi. 

She was just a spectator praying for Naruto in the Pain Arc. Yeah, she did healed few people and punched some monsters. But it just doesn’t matter. Even Konohamaru killed a Pain in that arc. 

She turned into an Asshole by making a fake confession towards Naruto and decided to kill Sasuke in the Kage Summit Arc. I think, this is where Kishi decided to shit on her mercilessly by making her into someone who was going to hurt both of her team mates mentally and physically. Basically Kishi transformed a clever medical Ninja who can find an antidote in a matter of hours to an asshole who believed Naruto did everything for her and even more of an idiot by planning to kill Sasuke with just a poisoned Kunai. Isn’t she the one who told Kakashi that Sasuke was given forbidden drugs to improve his strength after their Reunion??? Can’t she put 2+2 together to know Sasuke would be immune to poisons because of his days spent with Orochimaru??? Yeah, she did impacted the story. But it was not for her development. Sakura’s foolishness made Naruto and Sasuke to meet each other again and made a promise. So, you see, she was just a tool that pushes the narrative development of other characters, not her own. Her development took a big blow in this arc.

She was non-existent in the Naruto-Killer Bee Training Arc.

She was just healing people and punched some zetsu during Powerful Edo-Tensei Shinobis vs Allied Shinobi forces Arc. I expected her to have a special fight. But Nope. Even Ino, Shikamaru and Choji fought Asuma, Kakuzu and Kinkaku, Ginkaku brothers. 

She was non-existent in the Uchiha Madara vs 5 Kages mini arc

She was non-existent in Obito vs Naruto, Kakashi, Might Guy and Killer Bee mini arc.

She was non-existent in the Sasuke & Itachi vs Kabuto mini arc.

She was non-existent in the Edo Tensei’ed Hokages and Team Sasuke arc.

She was punching some Juubi Clones in the Official War Arc which will never make a difference to the story. At the same time, her character was transformed from an Asshole who hurted her teammates to an horny biasshhhh who wants only Sasuke’s D. She summoned Katsuyu and was healing soldiers. But there were an army of Medical Ninjas too. So her absence will not affect the story in a big way. She did Lip to Lip CPR for Naruto though. Again, that would never help Naruto in a major way unless he was helped by Obito by placing Bijuu inside him. Again, Kishi didn’t make her the sole saviour here. Instead, she was used as a medium to facilitate Obito’s transformation from a bad guy to good guy. Kishi made Obito as the Saviour here. 

She was useless and was not able to destroy Obito’s rinnegan in the Reincarnation of Indra and Ashura vs Rikkudou Sennin Madara arc.

She was useless in the Kaguya arc. [Sorry, that punch won’t make any difference because Kaguya must be stupid to not use her 360 degree vision to see Sakura from behind. With Naruto and Sasuke has already become a demi god at this point, her clown show is incomparable].

She was useless in the final Naruto vs Sasuke arc.

So, you tell me Anon. Did she make any impact to the story that served as a major twist?? 

The story revolved around Naruto and Sasuke. 

Itachi, Obito, Jiraiya, Madara, Hashirama and other Hokages were the game changers of this story. Meaning, their presence or death will change the story by a huuuuggge margin.

Tsunade, Orochimaru, Team Nagato, Kabuto helped our protagonists in a BIGGGG WAAYYYY.

Akatsuki were just amazing who gave us the sense of thrill as well as fun. 

Even Sakura being good will never impact the story because she had no dedicated arc written for her.

But, if she were written as a good character, my viewing experience would have improved in a relaxing way so much so that I don’t have to press my fast forward button whenever she appears and I wouldn’t be writing this post explaining why I hate her.

How would you improve Sakura?

Simple, By writing her similar to Rin Nohara.

No obsession but a simple love towards Sasuke.

No toxicity but caring friendship towards Naruto. 

That’s all.

How do you feel about people changing certain aspects about Sakura to try to improve her character?

Well, that means they would qualify as a fanfiction writers, aren’t they??.

Also, this inherently proves that she is a piss poor character and people wants to change certain aspects of her which they find annoying. But it will 100% end up being OOC. And I’m not into reading those OOC stuffs, Anon.

I always believe in accepting what the author has given rather than trying to fix their work. Because the author writes a character deliberately to make the readers feel what he intended in the first place. Kishi could write a redemption for even someone like Orochimaru towards the very end. Like, he literally made him to help Sasuke, not as a human predator, but as a former Master and an admirer. He wrote him to help Tsunade and other Kages. So in the end, Orochimaru was not hated like he was hated in part 1. If he can write something for Orochimaru, why not for Sakura??? 

You know how I can redeem Sakura in just 3 or 4 panels?

Let me tell you.

After that fake confession, Sakura could talk to Naruto,

“I am very Sorry, Naruto. I know you will never take things in your heart. But still I shouldn’t have used Love as a tool to make you not to do something. I was an Idiot to not realize how badly you want to save Sasuke. It wasn’t just for me. But it was for Sasuke and also for you, as his friend and also for us as Team 7. So, how about we go to Ichiraku, for a nice lunch??” 

While confessing Sasuke for the second time,

“It seems you still want to go on to that dark path, isn’t it?. I am not the most powerful ninja in this world and I know I can’t trade blows with you. But still.... if you try to hurt my friend, Naruto and my master, Tsunade. I will fight with all my strength to kill you..... Even though I love you”

I am pretty sure, if Sakura confessed something along these lines, everyone would have admired her and it shows her emotional maturity as a Kunoichi who wants to do something to this world as well as a person who is ready to kill someone she loved in order to protect the people she holds dear.

In chapter 699. Before saying Goodbye to Sasuke,

“I am very Sorry, Sasuke. I never really understood what was going on inside your heart. And, I always forced myself on you because of my selfishness. I really feel bad for those things. I never really became your friend in the first place. How about we say farewell as ‘a good friends’, before your redemption journey??” (Shakes hands.... End of Scene)

How is this???

Is it pleasant to read?? Of course, Yes.

I am pretty sure it wouldn’t take more than 4 or 5 panels. Kishi could’ve easily did something like this. Am pretty sure readers would’ve been satisfied. Her fans too. Even I would’ve forgiven her mistakes.

But Kishi didn’t and I am very sure it’s deliberate. Because, this very same Kishimoto could able to write Konan, Tsunade who acts with so much maturity without whining like a little girl.

Which shows Kishi clearly hates this character and never wanted to redeem her. 

So no matter how many people improve this character, it will never be believable.

How do you feel about narusaku?

Naruto always placed Sasuke as his priority, Anon. That’s always the case. So, apart from SNS, if you want me to say whether NaruSaku had any potential?

I would say, yes, NaruSaku had potential. I will not deny it. Naruto had some liking towards Sakura compared to the absolute indifference towards Hinata.

There are some moments Sakura genuinely cried for Naruto without anyone’s influence. I liked it. Say, the scene where she cried on hearing ‘A Jinchuriki without Bijuu will die” and with Yamato she told, “I can only do little things for Naruto”.

These are all coming from her own heart. No one instilled inside her.

[[[ That’s why I will not accept her realization of ‘Annoying, huh? So, this is how Naruto must have felt too. Maybe I should be a little nicer to him next time’ as genuine in Episode 3. Because she realized only after Sasuke roasted her. I want feelings to emerge subconsciously rather than instilled by someone. ]]]

Unlike the asshole Sakura she was in part 1, Sakura started out good in Shippuden. I was surprised with her development in Gaara Retrieval Arc and was not at all annoyed by her presence. (Except when she said she will save Naruto and Sasuke from Itachi.... Grrrrr.... Biashhhhh.... Do you know Itachi’s abilities first of all??? He can crush you like a meatball with his Susanoo)

I started to feel, ‘Wooow!!! She has improved a lot. Great!!!!’.

Even though, she was useless in Rasen Shuriken Arc, She still made an effort to make food pills for Naruto. She even hugged Naruto much to his surprise, before all the villagers and especially before, ahemmm Hinata after defeating Pain.

Despite all of these moments that had happened between them, I could only see them as a pair formed of mutual tragedies rather than mutual attraction, Anon. In their case, Losing Sasuke. I wasn’t 100% sure whether Sakura moved on from Sasuke or not. Because When Sakura was looking for Sasuke with Kakashi’s Tracking dogs, she was still in love with him. So Sakura fluctuates between her obsession with Sasuke and some genuine feelings towards Naruto. 

Kage summit Arc is where everything changed and finalized. Sakura was crying like an annoying shit when she heard that Sasuke joined Akatsuki and was wanted by Raikage. This clearly shows her obsession has flared up again and ‘Poof’ all the development she had with Naruto was thrown into drain. 

On top of it, the fake confession. Grrrrrr.......

Plus, Naruto officially closed the possibilities of this ship by saying, “Sasuke, I know the Truth of Itachi from a guy named Tobi. I don’t know whether it’s true or not. But whatever you’ve been doing so far (hunting Killer Bee, ruckus in Kage summit conference, trying to kill Sakura, Kakashi).... It’s all understandable”.

If Naruto truly, wholeheartedly, deeply loved Sakura, he wouldn’t have said something like, ‘It’s understandable why you tried to kill Sakura”. He should have beaten Sasuke into a pulp. Or atleast shown some intense anger. Instead, Naruto was talking to Sasuke and making promise by saying ‘We will die together’. It’s like Sakura playing cupid for Sasuke and Naruto.

Naruto was okay with someone trying to kill Sakura whereas he was not okay with someone trying to kill Sasuke and even went to the extent of hyperventilating. This is why I feel any other ships are incomparable with SNS. 

After that Sakura started to behave rabidly towards Sasuke in the War arc which I can’t help but feel disgusting. So, anything she did for Naruto in the War Arc was overshadowed by her crazy obsession towards Sasuke. That’s why her CPR doesn’t matter, Sakura healing Naruto doesn’t matter. [Naruto has his own regenerative abilities, so whatever she does will not matter much for him]

So, NaruSaku was closed officially by Naruto and Sakura. It couldn’t sail because of the presence of Sasuke. 

At the end, I felt like Sakura used Naruto for getting her man back ready for romance rather than a killer mode Sasuke. I couldn’t feel the friendship they once had or any familiarity. 

I just hate people who don’t value friendships, anon. Sakura was not even a good friend, first of all. Yeah she had her friendly moments here and there. But, at the end of the series, she was not. A war has just ended, many people lost their lives, her supposed ‘best friend’ Ino lost her father. Why can’t she help her out emotionally? Why can’t she do some fucking good stuffs for this Shinobi world like her other teammates?? Instead, what she did was ‘let’s go and persuade Sasuke-kun to lend me some D by going along with his journey. Because I am so horny’. 

It not how you were in the beginning, It’s how you ended up being. She started this series as a worst friend and she ended up as a worst human being for me. How can I ship such a person with Naruto????

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[ninjas-and-coffee]

WU SUCKS but not the reason you think

I'd like to preface by saying Wu has made a lot of mistakes and should be held accountable. But like the main arguments against Wu be like.

1: Morro

2: Traumatizing kids

3: Keeping secrets

4: Mot treating his nephew like is damn nephew.

5: Flirting with his brothers wife.

And the thing about that needs talked about. 1:Morro. First off getting kids hopes is not cool. It can be detrimental to development depending on the age of the child. BUT. Not a single soul told Morro to train tirelessly for 60+ years after his death to take revenge and be the green ninja. Absolutly no one. Wu had compassion for his failings and wanted to show Morro he could still he great without being the green ninja. But the little brat ran tf off and got trapped and died. And he got cursed, how- we dont know. But its implied that it's either intentional entrapment or you have to be a terrible person, guess which category he probably falls into. Mind you Wu also told our OGs that they could also be the green ninja and none of them went off the rails to settle some invisible score. Morro made his choices and he made shit ones. Wu was an influence but not the problem. Morro is unstable, dramatic, and holds grudges Wu didnt cause that.

2: the traumatic experiences the nina go through are also not exactly his fault. He didnt just pick them off the streets. THERE WAS A PROPHECY. Ok? Yall with me. Fate isnt uncontrolled by anyone the ninja needed to be trained to help Lloyd fight the Overlord. That wasnt his decision. And yall act like the ninja couldn't leave whenever they wanted to. He didnt gaslight them or belittle them in anyway that wasnt for teaching. Please bring me receipts if you think otherwise. I do admit he could help a little more, be more clear, but when has a old magic teacher character ever been straightforward. With that logic fuck Dumbledore, and Gandalf, and any wise old teacher that goes to find chosen one who once again are chosen by fate not the master himself. Yall literally cant blame Wu for Child's Play and you cant blame Wu for their experience with Nadakhan either. The enemies that go out of there way to attack the ninja are not a direct cause if Wu himself. Usually. It be like blaming Garmadon for Chen. Yes they had history but it's still not his fault

3: Secrets. I will admit there is next to no reason for keeping secrets from the ninja. Considering history always has kind of score to settle. But considering his age and the apparent imprisonment or death of his past enemies there no way to predict every problem that comes back to screw him over. The Time Twins for example. Yes they came back for Wu. But he did remove their powers and separated them over 20+ years ago. They were not exactly threats to his new students now were they? Again with Aspheera, who was literally locked in a tomb why take the time to educate the ninja on a problem he had no idea was going to come back for him. Same with Morro to a more confusing degree. MORRO DIED. How was he to prepare the ninja for that? Yes please tell me how they were supposed to prepare for a dead guy. I'll wait.........k. he should be more forthcoming with the ninja, about things he knows could harm them, like the Serpentine after Lloyds released them, Chen, the Overlord, the effects of Travelers Tea, Tomorrow's Tea, Oni, Etc. But most of the time the ninja go and do it first then wonder why Wu didn't warn them.

4: His nephew. Wow his parenting sucks. Morro is not his damn child let's start there. Comparing their relationship is unfair. Wu cared for Morro the way he cares for Kai and Nya. He never accentuates a paternal relationship with then. Cause they are students, students he has to train with he intent to send them out onto dangerous battle fields and mind games. He was alone so yes it looks different but it's also a leap to just assume that Wu viewed Morro as his own despite treating him the exact same way as his 6 other students. Now back to Lloyd. Why didnt he get his nephew from Darkleys where it was known he ran away from multiple times? I DONT KNOW. No one does. That is a bad move I can only theorize about. Maybe Misako said something about staying away, maybe he wasnt kept in the loop about his nephews whereabouts due to idk KICKING HIS FATHER INTO HELL. C'mon yall. Now in the later seasons my best guess is that he doesnt know how to differentiate his nephew from the chosen one side and the goofy child side. Hes never had a child and his early relations with Lloyd were scarce and when Lloyd came to live with him. It's not due to some familial obligation, destiny literally called for it. Putting some definite strain on their relationship. I'm not excusing it he should try better, but he'd have to build a relationship from nothing and most people know their immediate family upon birth or during childhood which is not the case here. Wu treats his nephew more like a vessel of power than a person which isnt cool but knowing that the kid might not come back after every fight is a good damper on happy relationships is it not?

5: Misako. Good lord I don't have to explain this one. No excuse. It shouldn't be happening. BUT. After Garmadons death she was a free woman as gross as it is. It's more a flaw on her than it is him she chose to have a baby with one brother and still try to get with the other. And I know it takes two to tango but dont get mad at the idiot that the cheater is cheating with. Be mad at the cheater. The thing people really dont get about love triangles. The "other guy" brings on the questions/options but the person who cant choose or screws with both parties is the one in the wrong. Lloyd seems ok with it. Because Tommy said so. I dont particular give two shits about his take on the show half the time. If Lloyd were actively against it the Wu would probably stop. If the Fsm family acted like a normal ass family we probably wouldnt be here. But their priorities are a little screwy compared to typical nuclear families. Not an excuse just some perspective

NOW, why he is a bad character despite all of those arguments. he chooses to train soldiers rather than care for impressionable teens. Yes the situation called for it but the pressure could he alleviated if he decided to actually help before the world was on fire. He chooses to teach by experience than be upfront. Which works sometimes but not when actual lives are at stake. His trial by fire teaching works but the possiblity it could go wrong is to big to be brushed aside. His seemingly unreachable vault of empathy is hard to swallow. He rarely actually feels things for other people, his lack of enthusiasm when they pull through something hurts to watch. His lack of empathy about raising his nephew to attempt to kill his father is frightening. The pride he demonstrates by choosing not to disclose his past until it's too late is dangerous. He doesnt directly put down the ninja unless he has to and its more implied than anything and is on his students and this fandom for taking it so harshly. He trusts them a lot because he doesnt see them as kids anymore. They are warriors and it was necesary. He should have more compassion. He should be more straight forward, he should try to act like a person and not some ethereal being of elsewhere that doesn't have time to appease feelings or care about people until after hes wronged them. His values are off kilter sometimes which is whatever until it starts to hurt people

But yall need to stop blaming him for other people actions. Morro was a mess to begin with. His problems are in the past because he took care of them already. Misako came onto him. (He should have resisted but he didnt start shit she did). He needs to try to be an uncle alongside being a teacher. He needs to act like a fucking person more than the infinite cache of wisdom and unforeseen unused power that he acts like. And also it's a kids show. How many children think the way yall do?, we're teens/YAs we're reading into things. A LOT which makes everything more complicated. Comments rebuttals open. There's a collection of little mistakes hes made along the way that dont fit into these categories but these are the main reasons I know people hate him and the little things add fuel to the fire. I will legit talk about anything Except for the morro thing I am so tired of seeing it Morro made his choices hes a fucking Villain Wu didnt make him that way being a bitter asshole did that. Thanks for reading!! :3

[mikrowrites]

apple pie kind of life

dean winchester x reader

SORTA SEASON 15 FINALE SPOILERS!!!

summary: told in a series of vignettes, Dean and Y/N get to live a semi-normal life and most importantly, get their happy ending.

warnings: literally just fluff and slice of life, language, recreational drinking :), mild canon violence

a/n: this literally jumps all around the timeline. it’s also just me self-indulgently fixing what’s broken lmao

a/n: so these are just a bunch of events, in no chronological order whatsoever! enjoy!!

At 8:00 AM sharp, the sound of two alarm clocks went off in the bunker.

Y/N L/N reached over, hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock as she yawned, sitting up. She combed her hands through her messy bed head, blinking the sleep from her eyes.

Suddenly two strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling Y/N back down onto the bed, the woman letting out a squeal before she laughed softly.

“Ten more minutes...” Dean Winchester grumbled, resting his chin on Y/N’s shoulder, his stubble tickling her skin.

She huffed with laughter, interlacing one of her hands with his. “Ten minutes, then we face the music, yeah?”

Dean mumbled a “mm-hm” in response, pulling Y/N in closer.

The woman smiled, burrowing into his hold as they laid peacefully together, tangled in blankets and sheets.

—

“Oh my god. You suck at this.” Y/N scrunched her nose, watching as Dean stood steadily on the ladder, stringing the multicolored lights on the gutter.

“You wanna keep trashing my light-hanging skills?” Dean shouted over his shoulder. “Do you want to do it?”

“Nah,” Y/N smirked, biting her bottom lip. “I’m just enjoying the view.”

Dean rolled his eyes with a smile, continuing the strenuous task of hanging Christmas lights on their small house. Y/N watched from below, bundled into a winter coat, smiling up at her husband.

“You know, on second thought, maybe we should’ve just done white lights.” Y/N mused.

Dean turned and looked at his wife with raised eyebrows. He slowly made his way down and off the ladder, before grabbing a ball of snow and throwing it at her.

Y/N gasped as her jaw dropped in shock, shaking her head. “Oh, it’s on motherfucker!”

The two ran around the yard, dodging snowballs from each other, laughing like little kids. Miracle barked from the fenced backyard, adding to the chaotic scene. Y/N ran towards Dean, tackling him into the snow as she shoved more of the cold substance down the back of his coat.

“Okay, I surrender, I surrender!” Dean yelled, Y/N stopping as she smiled down at him.

“And victory is sweet.” She sang before leaning down and kissing him. Dean smiled against her lips, reaching behind him and bringing a ball of snow down over her head.

Y/N broke away from the kiss, sitting up and laughing loudly. Dean grinned, her laughs being the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. She stood up, holding out her hand. He took it, Y/N helping to hoist him up.

“Look at us. We’re a mess.” Y/N chuckled.

“I think maybe a nice hot shower should fix it right up.” Dean mischievously replied.

Y/N smiled. “I think that should do, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean smirked as Y/N grasped his hand, pulling him towards the house.

“Lead the way, Mrs. Winchester.”

—

The old barn was filled with the sound of struggle and fighting as the Winchesters and Y/N fought off the group of vamps.

Y/N shoved the vamp off of her, slicing off it’s head and spinning, elbowing another in the chest.

She saw Dean wrestling with a vamp, Y/N reaching for something in her jacket pocket. The creature tried to shove Dean against a wooden beam, but before it could its head was sliced clean off. The man looked at the vamp confused before looking over at his girlfriend standing about 10 feet away.

Y/N dropped her jaw in utter joy, reaching into her pocket again and producing another ninja star from between her fingers. Sam killed the last vamp, turning to look at the woman. “Really?”

Dean’s face shifted to a look of awe. “I love you so much right know.”

Y/N winked at her boyfriend, pocketing the ninja star. “Love you too. Now let’s go get those kids to safety.”

The woman went to go get the two kids, Dean and Sam turning to look at each other. The older brother sighed. “Should’ve let me use the ninja stars.”

“Shut up, Dean.”

—

Y/N pursed her lips, cocking her head to the side as she surveyed the room. She narrowed her eyes for a moment in thought before picking up a roller paintbrush and a can of paint, as she began to roll paint onto the walls.

She was about halfway through painting the room when she heard the front door shut, the familiar sound of her husband throwing his keys on the counter ringing through the house. “Hey, I’m home!” he shouted.

Y/N wiped her paint covered hands on her old overalls, walking out of the room to greet Dean. “Hey, De.”

“Woah, what have you been doing?” Dean questioned, Y/N walking up and sneaking a kiss from him before answering.

“Painting. Had to get done at some point. I promise, I’m not going crazy on it. I picked the mint color, it’s cute.” Y/N nonchalantly replied.

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Without me? Without anyone in the house?”

Y/N shrugged. “No, I had Miracle here with me. So?”

“Honey, you’re pregnant.” Dean reasoned.

“And I’m immediately helpless?” Y/N put her hands on her hips, smiling teasingly. “I’m fine.”

Dean huffed out a sigh, Y/N chuckling. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands resting on the nape of his neck. Dean placed his hands on both sides of her slightly swollen belly. “Everything’s fine.”

“I know.” Dean finally relented, kissing the top of her head before scrunching his face in disgust. “Gross, you have paint in your hair.”

“Aw, that’s the sweetest compliment you’ve ever given me.” Y/N smiled. Dean rolled his eyes with a laugh.

“I’ll change and help finish painting.” He replied, pulling away and shrugging off his jacket.

Y/N nodded in satisfaction, turning to walk back into the room. Dean watched her leave, a loving smile traced onto his lips. He shook his head with a chuckle, trying to reason how he became such a cheesy-ass husband.

—

Sam walked over to the table, handing a beer to Y/N. She tipped the bottle towards him in thanks before taking a swig. The tall brunette sat across from her, sighing.

“So are you gonna do it?”

Y/N choked on her booze a bit, clearing her throat as she sat up, looking around to be sure Dean wasn’t near. “Sammy!”

“What? We won. We can write our own lives now, what are you waiting for?” Sam chuckled.

Y/N sat her beer on the table, frowning. “I just—Dean’s not the kind of guy for domesticity and such. I don’t really think he’s a marriage kind of guy.”

“You won’t know unless you actually talk to him.” Sam urged.

She exhaled, sitting back in her seat. “Look. After this hunt I’ll talk to him.”

“Atta girl.” Sam teased, Y/N rolling her eyes with a smile.

“Besides, if I pop the question first it’ll bruise his big boy ego.”

Sam raised his bottle. “To bruising my brother’s ego with love.”

“Cheers.” Y/N grinned, clinking her bottle with his.

Dean watched the two most important people in his life drink their booze, smiling and laughing. A soft smirk formed, as he reached into his pocket, pulling out the velvet ring box with his mother’s ring rested neatly in it. After a beat Dean placed it back in his pocket, walking into the library.

“Hey, no booze for me?”

—

Y/N gripped Dean’s hand, grinning as they looked back at the officiant. He wore one of his fake FBI suits as she wore a white dress shirt with black dress pants.

She turned to look again at Dean, raising her eyebrows teasingly. “I do.”

“By the power vested in me by the city of Las Vegas, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The man stated. “You may k—“

Before the officiant could finish Dean wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist, dipping her back and kissing her deeply.

She melted into the kiss, bracing her hand on his back. Sam whooped and hollered from the front pew, Eileen clapping her hands with a wide smile.

The two pulled away, Dean holding Y/N close as the two laughed, Y/N’s cheek pressed against Dean’s. Cas smiled fondly at the two, the light catching the gleam of Y/N’s ring.

The officiant shook his head in amusement, clearing his throat.

“I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Dean Winchester!”

—

Dean stepped inside the house, pulling a trailing Y/N in by the hand. He led her into the empty living room, grabbing both her hands and raising his eyebrows. “So?”

“So...” Y/N mused, looking around the small house. “... it’s kinda... perfect.”

The green-eyed man smiled, looking around. “It’s not suburbia, not big and fancy, it’s just—“

“It’s just a home.” She finished for him. “Yeah.”

Dean chuckled. “It’s a home.”

Y/N looked around. “Dee, there’s no way we could even afford this. My bartending and your side jobs, we couldn’t—“

“I talked to Sam. He’d help us work out how to do a loan. We could pay it off.” The man insisted.

She sighed, pouting her lips. “I do really love this house... do you think...?”

“We have a meeting with the realtor tomorrow at 3.” Dean finished her sentence.

Y/N nodded, exhaling deeply.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

—

Y/N ran the rag across the counter, smiling up at her husband who was talking up some of their customers with his ever-so-charming smirk. Soft music emitted from the jukebox in the corner, the lights lowered slightly for the ambiance.

The bar had been a labor of love for Dean and Y/N. They both had bartending experience, and after all, it was secretly always a dream of the hunter’s to open a place like this. It took many years, but they were up and running.

Eileen walked over to the counter, Y/N grinning at her sister in law. The brunette smiled back. “Mary doing well?”

Y/N chuckled at the thought of her three-year-old, throwing the rag under the counter. “Sleeping like a rock upstairs.” Y/N spoke while signing with her hands.

“Dean seems happy. Really happy. More than I’ve ever seen.” Eileen remarked.

“Yeah.” Y/N made eye contact with her husband, who threw her a dazzling smile. “He really is.”

—

Loud cries and wails echoed down the hallway as Y/N let out a loud groan. She reached over and checked the time on her phone. 1:34 AM. Y/N dramatically thrust her face into her pillow smacking her husband’s chest with her hand.

“It’s your turn.” Y/N’s muffled voice stated.

Dean chuckled lowly, sitting up and kissing the back of Y/N’s head before crawling out of bed. The woman turned and watched him leave the room, her eyelids fluttering shut as sleep overcame her again.

The man walked towards the crying, gently opening the door to the nursery. Dean approached the crib, reaching in and gathering his 3 month old daughter into his arms.

“Hey, Mary Jo.” He hushed. “You might wanna lower the volume a bit, I think your mommy’s considering adoption.”

The baby’s wails turned into soft wimpers until she fell silent, Dean exhaling in relief.

“I was kidding about the adoption thing, by the way.” He made his way over to the window, looking out it. “Did you have a nightmare? Yeah, mommy and I have them too. Pretty often.”

Dean lightly rubbed his daughter’s back, sighing. “One day, when you’re much older, the nightmares will never stop. You’ll learn about every nightmare out there. But we’ll be here to show you how to defeat them. We’ll teach you how to protect yourself from them. But don’t go chasing the nightmares. Learn to keep them away.”

He was quiet for a moment, before sighing and shaking his head. “I still chase nightmares. And I hope, I pray to Jack you never do.”

—

[howlingday]

About Jaune ships...

I have opinions. You may not agree, but they are mine. They may change in time, but not now.

LANCASTER ( RUBY X JAUNE )

The old tried and true. I mean, what's not to like? Cute girl falls for first guy she meets at Beacon? Classic romance trope, and after reading how much Ruby loves romance stories (I consider certain parts in the manga canon), it makes sense. In fact, after Arkos sank (A moment of silence, please . . . Thank you), many moved to Lancaster, which isn't bad. Happens all the time in fandoms. Sad thing, though, is far I think she'll last. If we're talking Volume 5 or earlier, then maybe. However, I feel if Ruby were to have an endgame in romance, it would be RoseGarden (I have opinions on that as well, but today isn't the day to discuss that), mostly because Oscar bumped Jaune's role from male lead to male side. Not to mention that while Jaune is becoming a beast in his own right, Ruby is a different creature altogether and evolving her character more rapidly and chaotically than anyone else (Must be all that screentime).

TLDR: I want it to be canon, but I might just be hoping.

WHITE KNIGHT ( WEISS X JAUNE)

Doofus in tin foil meets princess who hates daddy (Am I in the romance section of the library? You know, the corner for adults only?) No, but I do like this ship. I'm always a sucker for the fantasy genre, and using a zero to hero male makes it relatable. I also kind of ship it because the same reason I ship NaruSaku in the Naruto fandom: he likes her and he's willing to go the distance. But enough about that; instead let's talk about canon. Will they hook up? It's a soft maybe for me, for two reasons. 1. Rosegarden is most likely to be endgame, and after Ruby and Pyrrha, I'd say Weiss is Jaune's next to be his love interest. 2. Weiss has warmed up to Jaune. Sure, not lover or crush level (Yet), but she's definitely changed her opinion on him. In Volume 1, Jaune was bugging her, like all the time, which I could see as him getting mixed signals on (Exhibit A: Tall, blonde, and scraggly). When Volume 5 came around, everyone jumped onboard because he saved her life (Don't lie, because I'll admit that I did it, too). Not the best reason, but still reason enough, I'd say. Then in Volume 7, she hangs out with him and Oscar to the movies (It was either that or awkward Bumbleby all night. I feel ya, sister). Nothing romantic happens, but it does show how much their relationship has developed. If Weiss is Jaune's endgame, then they have set the pieces up perfectly to do so.

TLDR: High likelihood to be canon and I'm a sucker for Knight/Princess ships.

KNIGHTSHADE ( BLAKE X JAUNE)

This is the part where I say definitely not. Not in a million years, but I'll explain why I like the ship, though. As for why it won't work, the answer is Bumbleby. They haven't kissed yet, but you know they're going to eventually (Because if they don't, the fans will attack like a swarm of hornets). But here's the question you might be asking now: why do I ship this? Well, it's part of the allure of "opposites attract" ('Cause I'm dressed like a cat!). Blake is an intelligent, outspoken, and agile ninja with a criminal history of terrorism who spends her free time reading novels. Jaune is a B at best on his tests, soft-hearted, and ground-based knight who's worst crime is fraud (Still a crime, but peanuts compared to literal terrorism) and spends his free time hanging out with his team. Day and night. But they also tried that with Sun for a season and a half and it didn't last (BECAUSE BEES).

TLDR: Not even a snowball's chance in the summer sun, but so much story potential if you do (Which I do)!

DRAGONSLAYER ( YANG X JAUNE )

This, I would say, is the opposite of Knightshade, where Jaune is the day and Blake is night, here Yang is the Sun and Jaune is the Moon (Like their crests! Remember those? Y'know, when they were relevant?) Will it work? Even less so than Knightshade. However, it does open up some interesting paths considering how... provocative Yang can be, and Jaune, compared to the other guys, is the nerdiest, geekiest dude at Beacon. It's like the cheerleader/nerd romance, except the cheerleader is the captain of every sports team... and rides a motorcycle. The Volume 8 preview introduced us to Yang and Jaune riding motorcycles and we went nuts over it. Yang was back in her element, roaring down the street, riding on walls, popping off tricks with Oscar riding- Back to what I was saying, people were asking, "How did he know how to ride a motorcycle?" and the elementary answer is "He didn't." He almost fell off his bike from a small box in the road. True, anyone would, but look at how he reacts: he stiffens, he refocuses on the road. This kid literally started riding at breakfast, and I DARE you to prove me wrong. But hey, great fic material right there, though, eh?

TLDR: Never gonna happen, but I don't care. All I care about is writing that they love each other. And they also fu-!

ARKOS ( PYRRHA X JAUNE )

I'm sorry, I need a moment. . . . Alright. Do it for her. This ship... was perfect. Probably the best ship out them all. I legit almost cry every time I think about Volume 3. Pyrrha was everyone's favorite. Her background, her interactions, her choreography, everything! But, of course, like everything in our lives, she was too good to be true. But let's honor her memory by talking about her ship, Arkos. Pyrrha was the champion of the world, the Brothers' and Oums' gift to Remnant. She could do no wrong and she HATED it. Her plight was with how she was seen. Everybody knew her! Everybody, except Jaune. And he only figured out she was "a big deal" was because Weiss had to spell it out for him! As time went on, they became the best of friends, two peas in a pod, the perfect odd couple! They worked together and trusted each other, they cared for and supported each other, they lo- No. No, I can't say it. It's been years, and it still hurts. So, I'll explain something else: the reason why Jaune SHOULD NOT be shipped right now. That reason is Pyrrha. Jaune was helpless to save her. He's suffering from survivor's guilt and he's still grieving. In Volume 4, he would sneak away and train until late at night to scroll recording of her. In Volume 5, he confronted Cinder and got Weiss almost killed because he let his grief for Pyrrha take control of him and let his emotions run wild. In Volume 6, he finds the Pyrrha statue and he... I don't know how to say this, but he let's go. He accepts that Pyrrha is gone and he's starting the healing process. He's finally ready to move forward.

TLDR: T.T I never felt that it was wise to wish too much~

MARTIAL ARCS ( REN X JAUNE)

I'll be honest, I don't really ship it. Yeah, it's cute, and it falls perfectly into the "if I had to pick a guy" part of me, but to be honest, I don't ship it. 10% because Renora and 90% it just doesn't click with me. They both just seem too soft, too quiet, too introverted. Best friends? Yes, definitely! But lovers? Eeeeeh, not really.

TLDR: I will only ship as neccessary.

NORA'S ARC ( NORA X JAUNE )

I've only just got in this deep with the fandom only recently, so I don't know if a lot of you know me. Heck, I'm probably just some RWBY fan you happen to spot as you move through your dash. However, old or new, I want to be made absolutely positively clear on this. Of all the ships here, this has got to be my-

O T FUDGIN' P

Wow! Never thought I'd feel so strongly about a crack ship like this. And yes, as sad it is to say, this is a crack ship. Renora was planned from day one, so it can't be helped. At least it didn't blast me in the face all of the sudden (OH NO, NOT THE BEES! AAAAARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!). But why this ship? Well, for one thing, it's that whole opposites attract thing with Nora as the bubbly, outspoken, airhead powerhouse and Jaune as the soft spoken, introverted, nerd tactician. But wait, there's more to this trope, because it can go deeper: Order VS Chaos! Who makes all the messes? Who cleans up those messes? Who follows all the rules? Who makes their own doors? It's just. So. Damn! GOOD! One sad thing about this ship though is that it's not only not canon because of Renora, it's anti-canon because Renora. Every fan fic of Nora's Arc requires an explanation for Ren and Nora to not be together-together, like you have to write a formal apology to the FNDM for liking something that's different from what is canon or commonly accepted. If that's the case, then I'll be the anarchist here!

TLDR: I LOVE IT! What's that? Not canon? Who gives a damn?! I just explained why Jaune won't be shipped anyways! Now, if you'll excuse, I have some fan fics to find.

ARCFALL ( CINDER X JAUNE )

Oh, here it goes! Now, if we're talking ships that'll never happen, this is where we find better reasons than "it's not canon" and "character development". No, this... This is a declaration of war. Allow me to explain. Cinder Fall is evil. Like, down to her core. She wants power and she'll cut through anyone to get to it. Including Pyrrha. This woman sank Arkos by means other than "X and Y kissed, so..." She killed X, leaving Y alone. And her interactions with Jaune tell me she wouldn't even be worth a hate-bang. But, as Momma always, there's a thin line between love and hate. This is where the appeal comes in. Cinder is evil with no past, which leaves the previous chapter's of her life story blank to be filled in. Jaune is good with a troublesome, albeit easy past, but untapped potential for more. It's another opposites attract, but different from INTRO VS EXTRO and CHAOS VS ORDER; this is GOOD VS EVIL. Who will win this battle of wills; will our hero purify the tainted heart, or will he slip deeper into darkness, never to return to the light?

TLDR: Should be a NOTP, and yet the allure pulls me in.

What do y'all think? Do you agree? Let me know!

[ceterisparibus116]

Daredevil scenes / plot points you would have done differently? (I get a suspicion a lot of them have to do with the law stuff, Frank Castle's trial especially. 😉 )

Aaaaa I love this question! Warning: VERY long response:

DEFINITELY the Frank Castle trial. Man, it could’ve been SO GOOD. I have a lot of issues with it, obviously, but the main one is that Matt treating Frank as a hostile witness could’ve been amazing (character-driven, emotionally-charged, also at times hilarious), and we were ROBBED.

 I also wish Matt could’ve been involved in more trial prep. The show makes it seem almost like Matt’s skill is limited to courtroom antics, but charisma and the ability to think on your feet in the courtroom mean next to nothing if you haven’t laid a foundation with good legal research and legal writing. I would’ve loved it if the legal plotlines showed us more of that. Like, you know Matt and Karen’s date night in S2 where she helps him come up with witness questions? I would’ve loved it if: a) they’d gotten, like, ANY part of that scene correct from a legal standpoint, and b) if we could’ve gotten MORE. I know that kind of thing might seem boring, but I don’t think it would be. You can really show off characters’ personalities in that kind of environment, and then the audience gets the reward of seeing that hard work pay off at trial.

 Speaking of, I know we’ve talked before about S3 splitting everyone up. I still think that could’ve maybe been worth it if we’d gotten a S4 where we could see how everyone learned from how disastrous the S3 isolation was, but without S4, everyone’s isolation in S3 is really unfortunate. I would’ve loved to see Nelson, Murdock, and Page working together for at least half of the season, instead of just the last 3-ish episodes. It would’ve been fascinating to watch, since Matt would still not be in a great headspace, and Karen would still be hurt, and Foggy would be just Trying To Deal with his idiot best friends. (But since we don’t have that, at least we have my S3 canon-divergent retelling thing: Take A Deep Breath – shameless plug.)

 I also would’ve generally kept the stakes lower in S2 and S3. I think you agree with me that both seasons would’ve been more powerful if we’d had more lower-level villains. But one of my favorite things about S1 is that we get to know the people who are at stake. Unlike in the Avengers where it’s just “the world” or “New York” or something, S1 showed us a little boy who wanted to go back to his dad, and Elena, and that one juror who was being exploited, and Melvin, and even a bad guy like Vladimir, and they’re ALL sympathetic. We really understand who Matt’s fighting for, but with the exception of Grotto, Jasper Evans, and Julie Barnes, I don’t feel like we really get that in S2 and S3.

 Related: our S2 ninjas needed a clearer motivation. (That goes for Defenders, too.) Imo, they needed personal stakes. Fisk’s mission to clean up Hell’s Kitchen was personal. Frank’s mission to take out bad guys was personal. Everything about Elektra was personal. Dex’s desperate attempt to find a place for himself and find people who care about him was VERY personal. But the Hand? Not personal at all.

 With Elektra…I’m torn. Part of me really wishes Matt could’ve told her no and maintained his boundaries all along, because a) I hate love-triangle-type drama and drama that could be resolved if people just stopped keeping secrets, and b) it would’ve been so refreshing to see the femme fatal trope subverted, and c) it would’ve given Elektra more agency. That being said…that might be veering too far away from comics canon. Matt is canonically a disaster with relationships, and he and Elektra have this whole…epic…magnetic…thing. I personally would argue that the show isn’t beholden to the canon in this specific way, but I can see how people would be upset if Matt and Elektra hadn’t turned out the way they did in S2.

 I would’ve liked Marci to have a smidge more character development. She was so sweet and supportive in S3and I don’t…quite…know where that came from? Oh, well.

 Speaking of character development: I wish Matt and Foggy could’ve had some real conversations. Aside from when Foggy found Matt at the gym in S1 and they talked about moving forward, I don’t feel like they had deep conversations that weren’t arguments. Matt’s S3 apology is good, but I would’ve loved to see Foggy apologize for how he contributed to the problems in their friendship. I also wish we could’ve seen Foggy explicitly thank Matt for, y’know…SAVING HIS LIFE.

 As for Karen, I wish her revelation scene to Matt had been more about HER. It says a lot about how selfless she is that she used her own pain to try to convince Matt not to kill Fisk. But even though I know Matt’s super depressed and everything, I would’ve loved to see him put his own angsty issues aside for a sec and just be there for his friend and the woman he loves. Even the fact that she is the one who crosses the room to be close to him is telling; he should’ve gone over to her when she started crying and been there for her.

 Although if I’m talking about Matt’s romantic relationships, I wouldn’t have minded if the show went a Clairedevil route. Although that would require A LOT. I do wish, if I’m being really fanciful, that we could’ve seen Claire in S3. Or, at minimum, seen Matt and Claire interact in Defenders.

 FATHER LANTOM TELLING MATT THAT GUILT IS A SIGN THAT HIS WORK IS NOT DONE. I cannot with that scene. I love Father Lantom, but that? Really? I mean, I get it. That’s a common way that Catholic doctrine is interpreted, and it’s what Matt basically wants to hear anyway, but it is SUCH a dangerous thing to tell Matt (and I feel like Father Lantom should’ve known that???) and it’s also, as I understand it, not even the technically correct Catholic interpretation of guilt. Like, that’s literally not what guilt is or how it’s supposed to work. (Although who knows. I’m not Catholic, and as I understand it, Catholics themselves vary a lot in their interpretations of doctrine. So idk.) If I were writing that scene, I would definitely not have written Father Lantom to say that.

 On the religious theme, I wish S3 had circled back to Matt’s original objections related to the book of Job. He gets quite a few things wrong in his recap, and I’m not sure if Maggie didn’t correct him because she didn’t know better, or because she didn’t think a Biblical literacy lecture was what he needed at the moment, OR because the writers couldn’t be bothered to read the book. (In fairness…it’s a long and complicated book. But they couldn’t have been bothered to read a commentary on it?) I wish S3 had not stopped at giving Matt an abstract tapestry analogy to heal his faith when it also should’ve addressed his specific complaints.

I wish we’d had more time to see Matt and Maggie repair their relationship, or start to. And I wish she’d hugged him at Literally Any Point.

I wish the whole Matt-hallucinating thing had been clearer. Was he actually hallucinating? Or was that just his internal monologue manifested through other characters? If he was hallucinating, did he just...stop? Is he not freaked out about that? What was going on????

Oh, and if only they could’ve gotten Dex’s psychological diagnosis right.

 Other than that, there are a couple scenes that I feel like drag on way too long (S3 especially has an odd amount of monologues that generally strike me as OOC anyway—except with Fisk; he’s just Like That) but I don’t want to go into all of them. It would be hypocritical, given how long this reply is. :P

 So yeah, I think I’ll stop there, although I’m sure there’s more, haha. Thank you again for the ask and the excuse to ramble about Daredevil! I look forward to your thoughts as well.

[hinatas-sunshine]

Synopsis: Playing Among Us with Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma & Lev.

Genre: Idk tbh it’s not really fluff?

A/N: I hope y’all enjoy this Bc I’ve been addicted to Among Us, Requests are Open! Kithes ❤️

PLS PLS PLS DO THIS AND CREATE YOUR AMONG US CHARACTERS AND SHOW ME I WANNA SEE YOU GUYS DO THIS 🥺❤️

• You guys do a group call to play and it starts off pretty awkward

• You found the game and managed to get all the boys to want to play!

• It never went as planned though

• Sometimes it went by slow but other times it went by really fast

Hinata: I WAS JUST KILLED

• Cue Lev snickering

• Kenma automatically presses emergency button and y’all vote Lev out

• Turns out it wasn’t Lev, it was Kageyama

• If Tsukki was the imposter - good luck 😘

• Definitely would kill Everyone but yams

• Kenma is really stratigic so he allows Hinata to follow him but Hinata tends to get lost so when he does he dies

• You guys won’t let Lev host games anymore though, why?

Lev: I wanna do the cha cha slide like everyone did on tiktok!

Hinata: I saw that! We could all move in sink!

Tsukki: In WHAT? You mean sync?

Kageyama: That doesn’t look room, in sink makes sense

Yams: NOT THE SINK-

Kenma: start the game

Lev: In sink makes so much sense though!

Tsukki: I’m surrounded by idiots

Kenma: start the game

Y/n: ITS THE SINK FOR ME-

Kenma: start the game Lev

• Yeah people kept leaving because you guys got caught up in the chat room

• You played with Kageyama once, you two joined a game together and the whole time on the call Kageyama said one phrase

“*gasp* I died...”

• He refused to tell you who it was too

• When you played alone with Kenma and he found out you were the imposter by giggling and refusing to lie to him that you were...

*emergency meeting*

Kenma: I’m new to this game, but how do I jump down vents like y/n?

• EVERYONE VOTED YOU OUT SO FAST

• Hinata hated being the imposter he always felt so guilty killing people and lying so when the game ended he would apologize to everyone in the chat-

“I’m sorry I killed you blue, red, yellow, green and pink...”

• Tsukishima was a ruthless imposter and he made you lie for him or he’d kill you

• He ended up killing you and winning in the end

“I was with y/n.”

“Tsukki is clear...”

• Lev COULDNT play to save his life, he wouldn’t be imposter and automatically-

“I think it’s Ninja Lev.”

“We’re voting out Lev?”

“Yeah.”

“What?! Why me?!”

“You’re sus.”

“I saw you vent.”

• He got voted out and wasn’t imposter so-

• Yams refused to kill anyone and hides in a vent if he’s an imposter until everyone just randomly accuses him and he stays silent

• Kageyama sucks at being imposter he probably kills someone and then vents thinking he’s slick while you’re just there like 👁👄👁

*emergency button*

• Now power duo imposters 😼

• Never be a duo with Lev, Lev will throw you under the bus

“Yeah I saw y/n kill someone! And that’s why I reported the body!”

“What?! Lev?! What the hell!?”

• You and Kenma stick together and clear each other, occasionally killing people and saying you where where you weren’t

“I saw Y/n do her Medbay scan.”

“If it were us Kenma would’ve killed Lev when we were alone, but we didn’t Lev is still alive”

• Lev died a few rounds after that while screaming in frustration

• Kageyama gets frustrated when he’s outed first cause he sucks - he gets mad and tells everyone you’re the other imposter so fast before he gets voted out

• No one believed him so you carried the imposter team 😎

• You and Tsukishima both go different ways and team up with random people that joined the group

• When the time comes you meet up and killed them at the same time and win - y’all are undefeated

• With Yams and Hinata you HAVE TO BE a good liar - they can’t lie to save their lives

• Yams tells Tsukki pls he told him and then Tsukki outed him 😭

“Yams is said I’m sorry!”

“You’re a traitor.”

“Technically you are-“

• Everytime you guys play together you always lie with your chests and it gets y’all killed

“Kenma vented.”

“Shut up Lev you went to the emergency button because I caught you.”

• Poor Kenma when you guys voted him out and it wasn’t him so you guys went for Lev but it wasn’t him either 😭

• One time you guys were stuck with someone who pressed the emergency button for no reason

Tsukki: I’m voting them out

Kageyama: Yeah hes annoying

Kenma: ok

Hinata: I feel bad but they keep interrupting my tasks :(

Y/n: Bet bet they’re sus

Lev: as long as it’s not me this time

Yams: okay cool

• They weren’t the imposter but you guys got to finish your tasks now

• Like I said Tsukishima is ruthless so when you found yams dead and saw Tsukki vent and everyone finally caught up-

“It’s y/n.”

“I SWEAR IT WAS TSUKISHIMA!”

“Tsukishima would never kill Yamaguchi.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t”

“So y/n?”

• You were voted out and were talking with yams in the chat the rest of the time and when everyone found out he was the imposter they about died

• Now Kenma is ruthless too, he teamed up with you and followed you helping you complete your tasks

• He even waited for you when you couldn’t swipe your card

• AND THEN THIS BOY KILLED YOU

Hinata: WHO KILLED Y/N :(

Kenma: I went into electrical to fix some wires for a minute and came back to storage and she was dead

You: *dead* YOU LIAR WIFNSOFNOWNTOW

Lev: *dead* He killed you too? He killed me when I was swiping my card and then he vented

You: *dead* That was at the beginning of the game?

Lev: *dead* Yeah :(

Tsukishima: Kenma that’s kinda of sus

Hinata: I believe you Kenma

Kenma: ...okay it was me

• Hinata still skipped along with Yams and Kenma - Kageyama and Tsukishima were so mad

Kageyama: HE LITERALLY ADMITTED TO IT

Tsukishima: AND YOU GUYS SKIPPED?

Hinata: I felt bad

Yamaguchi: I voted before he said that sorry tsukki

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ Bonus ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Why You Guys Don’t Play w/ The Upperclassmen

• Noya presses the emergency button for no reason and you guys kick him out

• Bokuto leaves the game when someone kills him and then always asks for the code to come back

• Oikawa’s fangirls find him and send h word messages in the chats so when he asks to play you don’t answer

Fan girl: Oikawa pls go on a date with me!

*Oikawa has been removed from the game by Iwaizumi*

• Kuroo just follows Kenma, and Kenma hopes he gets imposter everytime Kuroo plays so it’ll teach him a lesson - he never does

• Daichi finishes his tasks but ends up getting killed RIP Daichi, and Hinata claims he was traumatized by seeing Daichi’s dead body

“He was just laying there... lifeless.”

“Boke it’s just a game!”

• Suga goes on a killing rampage and kills in front of Yamaguchi - who snitchs and gets traumatized thinking he can’t trust Suga

“Suga you could’ve killed me...”

“But I didn’t!”

• Yaku automatically kills Lev or suspects Lev and lies about it - and in the end you guys end up killing Yaku so there was no point

• Yamamoto and Tanaka don’t do ANY tasks and spend the whole time following people who they think are sus - they refuse to do tasks

“You know who wouldn’t be sus? Kiyoko.”

• Cue Kiyoko killing Tanaka

• it put Tanaka in a sad mood for a week

• Yeah ❤️ you guys refuse to play with the upperclassmen most of the time