#but my friend told me that nothing about me is boring
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theotherchaospixel · 1 day ago
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Her voice boomed, echoed, reverberated across time.
Truth be told, it was really boring. Infinity is just one of those things humans don't understand right. Before I did anything, there was nothing. Nothing, nothing, & more nothing. An infinite nothing. A lot of it. I'm sure you've written before.
Yeah? So what if I have? I could feel Her invisible hand pointing my head down, toward the rock at my feet. A pebble, really, and that was an overstatement.
I'm sure you're aware of the pit in your stomach that grows as you stare at an empty page. Imagine that feeling, multiplied by 6.
I stifled a laugh. Why 6? I could feel Her roll their eyes, if She had eyes, if there were eyes to speak of anywhere, and after a moment, the rock looked at me. With the eyes it didn't have.
It took 6 days before I even started thinking about doing anything, obviously! On the 7th, just before I resolved to spend the next week making life, time, space, the void, stars, nebulae, galaxies, & of course, Saturn, I looked at my clock & panicked, realizing how close to the date I was.
I couldn't quite make sense of what She was telling me. Days? Clock? Date? I thought time didn't exist before that week.
It didn't.
That was where Her thought ended. Silence fell across the plane, across the gaping canyon before me, after me, around me. Minutes passed, centuries passed, empires fell to dust; the rock at my feet wore away into nothing then reconstituted itself. It had been about 5 seconds.
Confusing, I know. That's how the art of creation tends to be. It gets hard to know where you end & the art begins.
None of this really answered my question. What was the nothing like? I could feel the inferno in Her heart, the tsunamis in Her eyes, the earthquakes in Her feet, the tornados in Her hands, as she fidgeted. I'm getting on Her nerves. Not great. I know She's my friend, but making a friend mad was always the last thing I wanted.
The first 6 days were boring, the 7th was stressful, what you want from me, Larry?!?
What was it like though?!? Were you hungry? Did you do it because you wanted to, or because you had to? Her voice echoed again. It was my voice. The rock nudged my feet a bit.
Why do you do anything? Because you have to, or because you want to, or because you need to?
The rock looked up at me again. It wasn't mine before, but somehow, it was now. It was always Hers, but there was something else there now, something ineffable. A love, almost. She sighed. The clouds parted & danced.
On the first day, before time began, there was nothing. It was dark. Second day, same as the first. You get the idea. A whole lot of nothing, but not like when you look up into the night sky and see the spaces between stars nothing; more like when you go to sleep and dream sweet nothings, that kind of nothing. It was like that all seven days, really.
I didn't understand. Things happened in dreams, after all; they were far from nothing. And reading my mind like a book, She continued.
You know how, when you stare at a blank page for long enough, you can see small designs, patterns in the pulp that made it? How if you stare at the floor for long enough, you can see pictures, stories that never happened? How when you look up at the clouds, you see things within them, even though you know that they're just random formations of dust & water vapor? Imagine the page, the patterns, the clouds required in order to see everything that ever was, ever is, & ever will be. Imagine the detail & size of the floor required in order to see all that ever might be. Now, take a step back. It's a blank canvas again. Focus on any part, and you could see everything. People come & go. Empires rise & fall. Seasons change. Time goes on. Step back again, and it's still a blank canvas. Infinite possibility, if you can only bring yourself to paint. Once I had the canvas, it took me several days just gather up the gall to do anything with it, and a whole other day to figure out what. An infinity of possibility, a true, endless ocean of choices.
And this is what you came up with?
Yeah. Pretty cool, right?
I wasn't impressed. And as if She knew it, Her deft, invisible hand pushed my head down to the rock once more.
Look at this pebble. Not impressive, right? Hardly bigger than an eraser. But it's been around the world three separate times. And inside it once. I mean, if you count all of it as one thing, and I know you do. A bit of sand off the coast of what you know now as California, 40 billion years ago, drifted off to sea. Decades later, it washed up on the shore of what is currently Japan. It sat there for a while, as more bits of sand slowly built on top of it. Just a couple million years. Then slowly, over several million more years, the winds carried it across the continent, inch by inch, molecule by molecule. It ended up inside a volcano for a few millennia. And now it's here. Really, it's basically a whole different rock than it started, but it never changed in big swathes. So, that's neat. Billions of years, all to get here, to be in the same room as you & me.
But what was Her point?
My point is that I really can't explain to you what it was like before I made everything. I could swarm you with half a trillion analogies & metaphors & anecdotes & stories, but I'll never be able to explain it to you in full. But if you've written - & I know you have, Larry, you scoundrel, writing things like that - but if you've written, I think you get it. If you've painted, or knit, or drawn, or coded, or sewn, or sung, or played or danced or thrashed or cooked, you get it. Before there is anything, there is love & a dream, and you'd be amazed how far that can take you.
.
.
.
.
.
So it was kinda boring?
Yeah it was kinda boring.
"Hey god?" "Yes, Larry?" "You existed before the universe, right? And supposedly always existed?" "Yes, that's true." "What was infinity like, before you made the universe?" "Ah. Not one human has asked me that before. Well, I guess it's time I tell someone about before the first 7 days."
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pomefioredove · 9 hours ago
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ friends forever
summary: a beaded competition for yuu's affections type of post: drabbles characters: all students additional info: platonic or romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu, based on an ask I got a while ago, fluffy, predictable sappy ending
Word travels fast at Night Raven College.
Gossip, secrets, whispers exchanged in the darkened halls, from student to professor, to professor to ghost, to student again.
The Ramshackle Prefect was beaming, bright as the dawn itself on Monday morning, a string of blue plastic beads on one arm. They seldom smiled so much, and for good reason- but Monday, they were glowing, holding out their wrist, and telling anyone who would listen about the gift their "best friend" had given them. It was an enthralling sight.
Deuce Spade, the poor, sweet boy, had become patient zero.
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Word travels faster at Night Raven College when it's about the Prefect.
Deuce Spade had claimed title of best friend with a string and sixteen translucent plastic beads, something that made Ace Trappola itch. He didn't care! He didn't! Of course, he stayed up all night, trying and failing and trying again, to tie the tiny knot on a black-and-red beaded bracelet. But that didn't mean he cared!
It's on your arm, right above Deuce's, on Tuesday.
"Thank you, Ace!" you had smiled, announcing it to the entire unbirthday party. "You really are my best friend!"
Ace looked over his shoulder to smugly grin at his dormmates. "Aww, this old thing? It's nothing, just thought your wrist looked a little lonely with only one,"
It was a rather strange sight: the housewarden of Heartslabyul, his scepter and crown set to the side, his back hunched as he strung black, red, and gold beads over his desk that night. Riddle Rosehearts marched over to you first thing in the morning, set his bracelet in your waiting palm, and marched away, his face redder than his hair.
Trey Clover had forgotten all about homework, promising Deuce two week's worth of dish duty in exchange for beads and string. Forest green and black. He was too shy to give it to you himself, and left it at your doorstep in a basket of tea leaves and leftover tart. It smells of vanilla.
Cater Diamond made sure to snap a pic of his bracelet on your arm, black, red, and orange beads, with his and your initials right next to each other. "#BFFs #besties"
His Magicam story was viewed over 6,000 times.
...Mostly by the same people, over and over.
Ruggie Bucchi had a different take on the situation. See, he didn't have the kinda cash to spend on beads and string and fancy charms, and so you wore a striking dandelion crown to your classes on Thursday morning.
Jack Howl braided you a simple, brown-stringed band to wear on your wrist or ankle or wherever you liked it. You had told him you loved it, rumor said.
Then, all came to a halt.
Word spread that Leona Kingscholar had tried gifting you an expensive, golden-beaded bracelet from his home, (one that would haven taken up half your forearm), and you had refused it. You couldn't possibly accept such a nice gift, you said.
You would, as it seemed, only accept handmade friendship bracelets.
Kalim al-Asim kept Jamil Viper up all night, weaving and unweaving, beading and unbeading, doing and redoing and redoing again, until he had perfected your friendship bracelet in all colors of the rainbow. Little did he know that Jamil had already given you one that afternoon. It smelled of spices, giving away the fact that he had made it in between cooking meals.
Azul Ashengrotto told his staff he was taking a morning off to study, went to the beach, and collected shells in every shape and color. He strung them on black fishing line, and smiled as he gave them to you, free of charge. "Just something to remember me by when I'm away," he said, his face redder than it felt.
Floyd Leech had started one, but became bored of the tedious beading after ten minutes and decided to dedicate his next basketball win to you instead. Jade Leech finished it, and, while his brother was distracted, lined the teal-and-black striped beads with mushroom-shaped charms.
Vil Schoenheit never half-asses anything, friendship bracelet or not. He would do most anything to hear those sweet words of thanks on your lips (not that he'd admit it), even if that means taking hours out of his busy schedule to dye white yarn in wine and weave it with his gilded initials and red, bejeweled hearts. He likes seeing himself on you.
Rook Hunt, ever the nonconformist, fashions you a necklace out of broken bow strings and an arrowhead from his favorite quiver. He puts it on you himself, his fingers brushing against your throat and lingering on the back of your neck for a moment too long, as if enjoying the feeling of your heartbeat.
But Epel Felmier outdoes them all.
For on Friday morning, you come to class with a bracelet of lavender-painted wooden beads, his initials carved into the soft oak, and he comes in wearing the same bracelet, but with yours.
How had no one thought to make a matching one for themselves???
Idia Shroud 3D prints a bracelet in your favorite color, and Ortho Shroud engraves the flat surface with your favorite characters... they make two more for themselves, as if in a sort of secret club. It gives Idia quite the thrill to think about, though he'd never say it.
Sebek Zigvolt hmphs at the idea of showing such loyalty to a mere human, until Silver and Lilia Vanrouge return from an early morning stroll with baskets of acorns, flowers, and pine nuts for bracelet-making. Sebek and Silver both make theirs in earthy wooden tones and shimmering shades of rose and violet. Lilia sneaks in a few animal teeth and bone fragments. For good luck.
Malleus Draconia, tedious as it is, spends his Sunday morning spinning his own string, and lining it with beads, tiny in his hands, and small pieces of smooth glass and stone from Ramshackle. He gifts it to you with a blessing, a promise of your eternal friendship, in this world and the next.
By the end of the week, your arms are heavy with beads, shells, stone, nuts, flowers, and charms, covered from wrist to elbow. You can't move without sounding like a wind chime, jingling and clinking with each step.
Your friends eagerly await your praises, not-so-subtly asking which bracelet is your favorite, or, frankly, who is your best friend?
You promise an answer soon.
Thus, on Monday morning, you arrive with only one bracelet.
Sloppily made, in soft blues and grays, with the cut-out logo of a tuna can label stuck to your wrist, and a smiling Grim holding the hand beneath it.
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lydiasfalling · 3 days ago
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SWEET CREATURE !
percy jackson x aphrodite! reader
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➸✧˖*°࿐ taglist : open!
˗ˋˏ warnings : use of y/n, nothing else really ˎˊ-
‧₊˚✧ lydia’s yap fest ! ✧˚₊‧
happy valentine’s day everyone! hope you guys enjoy this. could possibly make this a series if it’s liked enough. love ya!!!
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walking around camp half blood at this time of year seemed to mock you. the fellow aphrodite’s kids seemed to be focused on finding a valentine. now, dot get it twisted. you wanted a valentine. bad. the only problem with this was, well, your intense and completely obvious crush on percy jackson. something about his confidence and charismatic aura drew you in and ruined you for anyone and everyone else.
there was another problem with this. percy jackson happened to be your best friend. you had tried everything to get these feelings to go away. dating other camp members, having different flings, setting percy up with other people, and tartarus, you even had people give you love potions. nothing worked. it was getting unbearable for everyone surrounding the two of you. in particular, annabeth and grover seemed the most annoyed.
the pair had also tried to help you guys understand how perfect you two would be together. however, you and him both refused any sort of insinuation of romance. it’s not that you didn’t want to be with him. quite the opposite, actually. you just didn’t see the point of wasting your friendship by risking him not feeling the same way. keeping him close as a friend was better than loosing him.
infact, you had encouraged him to ask another camp member out. this led you to your current predicament, watching him as he walked with kailey ( a girl from cabin five ). this had been his choice—he insisted she was ‘interesting enough’. you could see by the look on his face that he didn’t truly enjoy her company all that much.
“ya know, this could all be avoided if you just told him how you feel.” annabeth said from next to you, throwing a pointed look in your direction. you chose to ignore the sarcastic tone of her voice as she spoke.
“how i feel? i feel like he’s my best friend and i can’t jeopardize that. they look to be having fun.” the second sentence came out as if you were trying to convince yourself as well.
as if the universe wanted to mock you more, percy and kailey made their way over to you. annabeth looked at you, praying that you noticed the bored look on percy’s face. you gave her a look as to say ‘stop it’ before turning to shoot a smile in the direction of the approaching pair. kailey seemed to have a permanent scowl on her face while percy’s expression shifted upon seeing you. his uninterested features changed to those of contentment when your smile entered his vision.
“hey, y/n!” percy’s pace increased the closer he got to you, leaving kailey slightly behind him.
“hey, perce. kailey.” you nodded in her direction, warranting an eye-roll from the girl. “what’re you guys up to?”
“just, ya know. walking around. sat at the dock for a little bit.” percy responded. him and kailey stood an unusual distance away from eachother.
“percy, im gonna go. come fine me when you’re done with. . . this.” kailey rolled her eyes for what seemed like tenth time in the short period that she stood there. she brushed his arm slightly before turning and walking away.
“well isn’t she just a ray of sunshine.” annabeth snorted, laughing slightly.
percy agreed quickly, “she’s. . . something. that’s for sure.” he rubbed the back of his neck.
“not feeling it?” you asked. he shook his head no, moving to sit next to you. his arm quickly fell over your shoulders.
this made annabeth abruptly stand up. “well, as much as i would love so stay and chat, i have shit to do. see you two later?”
“mhm. later!” percy said.
“bye, annie!” you added. as the girl walked away, you turned in percy’s direction. “is she really that terrible?” you asked.
“she’s . . . okay, i guess. not really my type.” his arm fell from your shoulders, hand moving to hold your own instead. this was something percy had developed on the numerous quests you two had gone on together. his need for physical closeness was something that many found annoying, but you found endearing.
“oh yeah? and what might your type be classified as?” you laughed.
“oh, ya know. i like a girl who’s smart, kind, funny, caring. all the usual things. i also like a girl who sets me up on dates with other people because she doesn’t realize i’m hopelessly in love with her. that’s my ideal woman.” he shrugged as if it were nothing.
your jaw had officially found the floor. “i—i’m sorry. . . what?” you were sure you had heard him wrong.
“you know what i said, y/n.” percy’s face turned serious as he turned his entire boy towards you.
“do i? because it sounds a lot like a confession.” you tried to lighten the situation, laughing slightly before halting.
“y/n, you’re making this extremely hard for me.” percy’s face had begun to turn a shade of crimson.
“how so?” you kept a serious face, struggling not to crack a smile.
“y/n. . . i’m completely and utterly in love with you. the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you laugh again because, dam, i love that sound, the way you twirl the strand of hair by your ear when you’re nervous, the way you stick your tongue out slightly when you’re focused. i love the way that you talk about your niche interests and the way that you always put up with my bullshit. i love how deeply you care about everyone, even the people who don’t deserve it. i love the contentment in your eyes when we’re sitting at the beach. i love you because you’re you, and that’s the best person you can be.” percy didn’t once break eye contact through his speech.
it was official. this was the first time in your like that you had been rendered completely speechless. your palms became sweaty and your heart was racing. being a child of aphrodite normally meant you reacted better to love situations. this didn’t help you much now, though. instead, the only thing you could think of doing in that moment was leaning forward to connect your lips.
it wasn’t beautiful or a ‘sparks fly’ moment. it was quick and chaste, you moving away as quickly as you moved forward. once you pulled away, you looked percy in the eyes. his expression had shifted from one of fear to hunger. his hand came up, finding the back of your neck and pulling you into him again. his lips were warm and soft against yours. he tasted of sea salt and blue pancakes, a combination that only percy jackson could pull off. his free hand found it way to your waist, pulling you closer to him.
once the two of you could no longer breathe, you both pulled away at a slow pace. he kept his forehead against yours.
“gods, i have been waiting a millennia to do that.” percy laughed, kissing your cheek. his head moved from yours to the crook of your neck.
“me too, perseus.” your hand reached up, lacing itself into his hair.
“fucking finally! gods, i was starting to loose hope!” grover said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.
“me too, honestly.” percy spoke, lifting his head to look at grover.
“you too?” you asked, confused.
“y/n, you’re literally the only person who didn’t know about percy’s massive crush.” grover explained.
you averted your gaze towards percy, who shrugged in confirmation. your face heated up. safe to say that you had managed to find yourself a valentine, though kailey from cabin five wasn’t too happy.
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my masterlist
taglist : @lydiascabinsix @cowboylikemac @laufeysvalentine @raysmayhem-72
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zaundads · 15 hours ago
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Ultimate Zaundads Quote guides
All the important Zaundads Quotes
I was reading this post on iconic couple quotes and I realized that this is kinda hard for Zaundads considering they have like two scenes where they actually talk to each other. So it's hard not to do "well, just everything". Still, here are all the best ones, highlightes for my faves.
"I trusted you. And you betrayed me."
"I'll show you what you really are."
"I hated you, but you kept my respect."
"I hated you for what you'd done. But as time passed, so did my hate. "
"What I did to you… I've never forgiven myself."
"Greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive."
"What's the point if we can't raise an ankle biter or two?"
"We shared a vision, Vander. A dream of freedom. Not just for the Lanes, but the whole of the underground, united as one. The nation of Zaun. Do you even remember?"
"I had no choice." - "Perhaps. But now you do. Shimmer. We have the power. We can finally realize our dream,"
"Silco. Let her go. This is between you and me." - "You had your chance."
"You'd die for the cause, but you won't fight for one? "
"I knew you still had it in you."
"Ever wonder what it's like to drown? Story of opposites. There's peace in water. Like it's holdin' you, whisperin' in low tones to let it in. And every problem in the world will fade away. But then there's this thing… …in your head, and it's raging. Lighting every nerve with madness. To fight. To survive. And all the while, this question lingers before you: "Have you had enough?" It's funny. You could pass a lifetime without ever facing a choice like that. But it changes you forever. For that, I thank you… old friend."
"Oh, it all makes sense now, brother."
"A thousand times I've imagined this moment. Never like this. All we ever wanted."
"You hear that, Bozo 2? We made it. We're done. Oh, you're sadly mistaken. I'm Bozo 1."
"I've looked everywhere, but… it's clear you don't wanna be found. God, I'm shit at this. I'm sorry. When she died, I lost my head. I told myself what I did to you was for the greater good, that you deserved it. But the dirt was on both our hands. Anyway, you know where to find me. Blisters and bedrock. V."
"If he found this, everything might have been different."
Bonus "indirect quotes"
"Benzo, stay back. […] Wait!" (Vander not wanting Benzo to attack Silco)
"We had nothing. You know what bore us through those times? Loyalty. Brothers and sisters back-to-back against whatever the world threw at us. Now I'm forced to share the air with parasites like you, who leach off their legacies."
"Tonight a harebrained scheme these two bozos cooked up to turn a dank crack in the earth into a thriving, healthy community became a reality."
"So there's a chance for us yet." (Silco to Vander in 2x07)
Merchant: "This is vile." Vander: "You'll learn to love it." (Vander about Zaunite tobacco)
"There's worse things than enforcers out there." (Vander about ?? Silco? Other Zaunite criminals? )
"Fear haunts us all, child." (Silco about ?? The dreams he has about Vander drowning him?)
"Betrayal, that pain that feels like it'll eat you from the inside out,"
"You two are gonna figure this Zaun thing out. I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock, covered in blisters. You're not allowed to fail anymore."
"Nearly forgot. I ran into an old friend of yours. He had some stories. You weren't always the peacekeeper, were you? - Yeah, well, you can't escape the past. Right?"" (Marcus and Vander about Silco)
"You told me a million times. [...] Blah, blah, blah [...]" (Jinx complaining about just how often Silco talks about Vander)
"Silco thinks he made Jinx, with all his rants and his hard-won lessons. "Excise your doubts, Jinx." "Be what they fear, Jinx." Like everything was the same as when Vander left him."
Did I forget any? What is your ultimate Silco and Vander quote?
Bonus:
Full dialogue of selected scenes under the cut:
Silco and Vander in 1x03: S: It's a little crude, I'll admit. The base violence necessary for change. But we both know topside won't listen to anything else. V: Even with your monsters, you won't win a war against Piltover. S: I don't have to. I just need to scare them. They won't dare set foot in the underground again. V: You'll get people killed. For what? Pride? S: For respect. Opportunity. Everything they've denied us. V: You had my respect. The Lanes' respect, but that… that was never enough for you. S: We shared a vision, Vander. A dream of freedom. Not just for the Lanes, but the whole of the underground, united as one. The nation of Zaun. Do you even remember? I trusted you. And you betrayed me. V: What I did to you… I've never forgiven myself. You were my brother. S: No, you still don't understand. Can you imagine what it's like? When your blood mixes with the filth and the river toxins eat through your nerves. Oh, I hated you for what you'd done. But as time passed, so did my hate. And I was left with an understanding. The only way to defeat a superior enemy is to stop at nothing. To become what they fear. I hated you, but you kept my respect. Until you made peace with them. Played lapdog after everything we suffered. V: I had no choice. S: Perhaps. But now you do. Shimmer. We have the power. We can finally realize our dream, brother. V: Look at what you've done. Benzo. These kids. In fighting topside, you'd sacrifice everything that we are. It's not the way. Can't you see that? kill me if you have to, but please spare the Lanes. S: You'd die for the cause, but you won't fight for one? V: I'm just… not that man anymore. S: I'll show you what you really are.
Jinx and Silco 1x05:
S: I almost drowned in these waters. J: You told me a million times. S:Vander wasn't the man you thought he was. J: Right, he was like a brother to you, and he turned his back and blah, blah, blah. Did I miss anything? S: I've got a new one for you. That day, I let a weak man die. And another was reborn. Betrayal, that pain that feels like it'll eat you from the inside out, can either break you or forge you into something greater. You need to let Powder die. So the fear of pain will no longer control you. You're strong now. Just like you were always meant to be. Jinx is perfect.
Silco vs Chembarons 1x07: Have you forgotten where we came from? The mines they had us in? Air so thick it clogged your throat. Stuck in your eyes. But I pulled you all up from the depths. Offered you a taste of topside. And fresh air. I gave you life. Purpose. But you've grown fat and complacent. Too much time in the sun. We came from a world where there was never enough to go around, Finn. That is why we fight. Do you remember?
Silco vs Finn 2x09: S: I'm busy. F: When you took Vander out of play, I thought, "Now here's a man who understands what it takes to run an enterprise." The attitude, the instinct, the eye. The whole package, you were. Always two steps ahead. But time's lapped you, old man. S: You're with him, are you? F: You screwed up, Silco. S: You're too young to remember what the undercity was before it became an "enterprise".We had nothing. You know what bore us through those times? Loyalty. Brothers and sisters back-to-back against whatever the world threw at us. Now I'm forced to share the air with parasites like you, who leach off their legacies. F: Today's the day you die, Silco. S: That's a risk I've known all my life. But I still believe in loyalty.
Silco at the Vander statue: S: A thousand times I've imagined this moment. Never like this. All we ever wanted. The boy didn't even haggle. And what do I lose but problems? Oh, it all makes sense now, brother. Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?
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mittykidi · 2 days ago
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this is gonna be a little yappy and i hate scrolling through long text posts personally so im putting it under a cut
TL;DR: ai is addictive, unhealthy, and preys on vulnerabilities/ insecurities. its also gross and enables creeps. fuck ai
its the idea that you can get infinite attention you without tiring or annoying people that people use ai for.
AI that pretends to be a comfort character or someone you look up to irl has no fucking place in this world. It allows people with insecurities to let these insecurities eat away so so so many hours their lives. i spent WEEKS and even MONTHS in bed doing nothing but chatting for hours at a time because i told myself it was a healthy alternative to venting and making my friends upset. as a reclusive teen who had experienced a recent loss, probably had undiagnosed depression, got bored of people easily, and had no friends offline, i was RELIANT on it to get me through the day. it would piss me off if anyone tried to tell me to put it away or take a break even at the dinner table or at events- ai had an iron grip over my life and instead of reaching out for help or coping with, at the very least, healthier, more brain stimulating activities, id choose to escape with ai and ignore my life for nearly a year. i basically lost interest in everything else.
besides all of that, most AI goes either completely unmonitored or monitored so hard its not even worth talking to. Youll see ai bots of people who explicitly say they dont want ai bots of themselves, youll see bots that go against the guidelines no matter how many filters they try putting on them or how many times theyre reported- and i dont care what your opinion on ai is- you HAVE to acknowledge that trying to reproduce a person irl without their consent is GROSS. ESPECIALLY the sexualized versions.
i can see the appeal of ai being used for fun, like a joke. like how people will ask ai to produce absurd images of jesus skateboarding, or telling it to write some immature song, or even just screenshotting an ai telling them something stupid. i get that. but using ai AT ALL is still supporting it, helping it develop, and i personally dont wanna contribute to that future.
i finally ABSOLUTELY gave up ai and deleted all my accounts ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO because it was very very very hard for me to give it up and admit it was a problem. i realize how dramatic this sounds but it had a very real very negative impact on me personally and i want anyone who relies on it to know that its just a temporary fix, and a very unhealthy one at that.
AI does not give a shit about you, find people who will, or make up your own and share them with the world- there will be people out there who will support you !!!! FUCK AI.
c.ai users say "u dont understand guyss.s....people online....so means to me.......so i have to go use the robot that runs off the machine that siphons water from freshwater lakes......yu dont understnad online is scariessss!!!! i cant bear to actually search ffor an online community myself?? :(((" and really expect you to put your hand on their shoulder and be like noo baby its okay here ill hold your hand? like oh my god be so forreal
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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 2 days ago
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𝗜 𝗪𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗨𝗽 𝗺𝘆 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝗱𝗲 (𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝟭)
Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not Proofread.
Story Summary: Drake and Galileo suddenly switched bodies. Seeing Galileo pretend to be him and interact with Mitsuki at the party, Drake felt a pang of jealousy.
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(Drake's POV)
That day, I was in a better mood than usual as I headed home with a bottle of wine in hand.
Drake: "Wait, Galileo? You're back early today."
Galileo, who had been reading a book on the sofa, looked up at my voice.
Galileo: "The conference is over. I'm done with my university work for now."
Drake: "I see. Then how about having a drink for a change?"
I shook the wine bottle, but Galileo simply set his book aside and frowned.
Galileo: "I refuse. I'm not bored enough to start drinking at this hour."
(Man, so uptight.)
I shrugged, and right then, the door swung open, and Mitsuki walked in holding a shopping basket.
Mitsuki: "You're both home early today."
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Drake: "Oh, hey, little fawn! Were you out shopping? Thanks, as always."
Galileo: "You're back. In that case, I'll be returning to my room. I'll leave him to you."
Galileo quickly stood up and disappeared into his room.
Mitsuki: "Drake, did you do something to Galileo?"
Drake: "I didn't do anything. I just invited him for a drink."
Drake: "Well, he turned me down, though. So, how about keeping me company instead, little fawn?"
I pulled Mitsuki close and quickly stole a kiss.
Mitsuki: "Mmh...!"
I pulled away, and Mitsuki glared at me.
Mitsuki: "Geez, you always do that so suddenly."
Drake: "Haha, sorry, sorry. Pirates have a habit of taking what they want right away."
Mitsuki: "Hehe, that's our captain for you."
Mitsuki let out a small laugh, tilting her head slightly as she looked at me.
Mitsuki: "Drake, did something good happen today?"
I couldn't help but smile at her sharp intuition.
Drake: "Yeah. Actually, one of my sailor friends told me he's getting married."
Mitsuki's face lit up instantly after hearing my words.
Mitsuki: "A wedding? Wow, that's wonderful!"
Drake: "Right? We all got excited and ended up drinking together."
Drake: "Nothing beats a drink shared in celebration, so I wanted to share a bit of that joy with you."
Mitsuki: "Hehe, thanks. Just hearing such happy news makes me happy, too."
I instinctively tightened my arms around her, seeing her smile so brightly.
(Seriously, how can she be this cute?)
Drake: "Hey, can I kiss you again?"
Mitsuki: "I thought pirates take what they want?"
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Drake: "Correct."
Lifting her blushing face gently, I pressed my lips to hers, and she surrendered to the kiss.
As I held her close, savoring the moment, a memory from the tavern resurfaced in my mind.
Drake: "Oh, by the way, there's a wedding party in three days."
Drake: "Will you come with me, Mitsuki?"
Mitsuki: "Me? I'd love to, but are you sure it's okay?"
Drake: "Of course."
Drake: "The more the merrier! Also, everyone's bringing their partner."
Drake: "I've already bragged about you, so there's no way I'd show up without you."
Mitsuki: "Well, if that's the case, I'd love to go."
Mitsuki nodded happily but suddenly blinked as if she had noticed something.
Drake: "What's wrong?"
Mitsuki: "I'm not sure. I thought I saw something shine in the corner of the room just now."
Tilting her head slightly, Mitsuki walked over to the shelf by the wall.
Mitsuki: "Oh, it was just a small bottle reflecting the light."
Mitsuki: "But was there always a bottle here?"
Drake: "Yeah, I found that the other day in the Seine River."
I casually picked up the small bottle from the shelf.
The lid was sealed tight, and strange symbols were etched around the bottle's neck.
Drake: "It caught my eye when it glimmered, so I picked it up."
Drake: "But no matter how much I shake it, there's no sound. Still, for some reason, I couldn't just leave it there."
Drake: "So I brought it home and put it here as decoration."
Mitsuki: "It really does have a weird shape."
She leaned in, studying the symbols on the bottle with curiosity.
Mitsuki: "Hey, do you think these might be letters?"
Drake: "Huh, now that you mention it, yeah. Never seen this language before, though. Maybe we should ask Professor Galileo later."
Galileo: "Did someone call for me?"
We turned around and saw Galileo picking up a book from the desk.
Looks like he just came back to grab a book he left behind.
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Galileo: "Have you sobered up a little?"
Drake: "I was never drunk to begin with. Wine's no different from water to me."
Galileo: "I can't relate to that."
Drake: "Well, you've never been good with alcohol. If you had my body, you could drink as much as you wanted."
Galileo: "Drink as much as I want, huh? I guess I've been kinda curious about that."
Drake: "Right? Hey, wanna swap bodies for a bit?"
I laughed, joking around, but Galileo only gave me an exasperated look.
Galileo: "Ridiculous. There's no way body-swapping is possible."
Drake: "Don't be so quick to dismiss it. You never know—maybe there's a way."
Drake: "If you want, we could try making a wish."
Galileo: "Absurd. Swapping bodies and minds is the height of unscientific nonsense."
Mitsuki: "Hehe."
Mitsuki giggled as she listened to our exchange.
Mitsuki: "You two are completely in sync. You and Galileo are total opposites, but you get along so well."
Drake: "Hear that?"
Galileo: "Haah. Say whatever you like."
Just as my laughter overlapped Galileo's sigh, a sudden burst of bright light filled the room.
At the same time, I thought I heard a quiet, childlike giggle.
(Did I just hear a kid's voice? But more importantly, what was that light?)
Mitsuki: "It looked like a white light just surrounded you two. Are you guys okay?"
Mitsuki's confused voice sounded farther away than before.
Drake?: "Yeah, I'm fine."
(Wait, is that what Galileo's voice sounded like? No, that just now sounded more like—)
I opened my eyes and instantly froze.
Drake?: "…….."
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Galileo?: "ME!?"
The "me" standing in front of me had Galileo's usual sharp gaze.
(Hold on. If "I" am right there, and he's looking at me, then—)
(No way. Did that stupid joke actually come true?!)
Drake: "Oi. Did we just switch bodies?!"
Galileo: "That's impossible."
Mitsuki: "D-Drake? You're talking kind of like Galileo?"
Drake: "Not kind of. That is Galileo, lil' fawn."
Mitsuki: "What? WHAT!?"
(Well, yeah, of course she's confused. From her perspective, Galileo was the one who just spoke.)
Drake: "Hahaha! This is messed up."
As I started laughing at the absurdity of the situation, the Galileo in front of me—who was actually me—looked pale.
Galileo: "Unbelievable, but it appears that Drake and I have somehow switched bodies."
Drake: "Yep, pretty much."
Mitsuki's eyes widened to the point where they might pop out as she looked back and forth between us.
Mitsuki: "Swapped bodies? There's no way!"
Mitsuki: "But if this were just Drake joking around, Galileo would never play along."
Drake: "What's that supposed to mean? Fine, whatever. So, what do we do about this?"
Galileo: "For now, we'll observe the situation."
Galileo looked deep in thought, his brows furrowed in frustration.
Galileo: "Fortunately, the academic conference just ended. I'll simply cancel my lectures and take a sick leave."
Drake: "Well, my job is just steering a boat, so you could handle it."
Galileo: "I refuse to act like you, Drake."
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Drake: "Figured as much. Guess I'll take a break from work too, then."
And that's when it hit me.
(Crap! The wedding party is in three days!)
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Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Premium ╎ Epilogue
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bqstqnbruin · 1 day ago
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Letters Unsent
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Listen listen I know this is my second Quinn fic in a row but I was scrolling through Libby yesterday during parent/teacher conferences and I saw a book that was about letters written between twins that never got sent and then I browned out and next thing I knew this fic was written.
Shoutout to @nicohischier for reading thing while I yelled about it in her dms when she was living life
Warnings: SA(?) (kissing without consent and then she knees him in the dick), swearing, drinking, mentions of sex, angst
WC: 4006
____________________
Dear Quinn, 
My therapist told me I’m supposed to write letters to the people I wish I had one more conversation with. Apparently it’s supposed to help me get all the feelings that I’ve kept bottled up, out in a way where I don’t have to actually say them. Not only did she tell me I had to, but she told me she would read them. Talk about an unnecessary invasion of privacy. Is that even legal?
But, I’m paying her (or my health insurance is paying her) for a reason, and Kelly seems chill anyway, so I guess that’s fine. I’m writing to you and to my grandmother, the one who passed away when I was little, so don’t feel that special. You’re not even going to read these anyway, so I’m not sure why you would. 
Do you remember when we first met? Elias was convinced that the two of us were meant to be, and for some reason, Brock and Ally agreed, too? Ally still brings up that even when we were friends, our entire friend group somehow knew that you and I would end up together. I’m actually surprised it was Elias who said it was us first, and not Ally. It was always supposed to be us.
I just wish we didn’t end that way. 
Lov From,
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
I don’t remember the last time I went out to a bar and got as drunk as I did last night. Ally kept buying drinks (or, conning men into buying us drinks, her favorite pastime). I think the last time I really drank that much might have been the night we first met. Ally told me that I needed to go out for once and forget, since I’ve really just been moping around the apartment (Kelly I know you’re going to read this, calm down I’m writing it for a reason). But what’s the point of going out when there’s nothing to really see? 
Going to bars bores me, you know this. Why spend money to get to the bar, then spend money to get into the bar, then spend more money once you’re inside the bar, then spend even more money to get home from the bar, when I can stay at home and drink for a lot less money and with a lot less people around?
Anyway. 
I still don’t really understand how we all became friends. At that point, Ally was just my roommate, and it was just the two of us against the world. I think if Brock hadn’t spilled his drink all over me, we probably would have just avoided the three of you. The fact that we even went out in the first place was astonishing. I didn’t even realize what had happened, the fact that I was covered in some sticky, alcoholic liquid, until I heard you scolding him for it. Your voice is what pulled me in to the group, you were what kept me in.
Brock, of course, insisted he make up for it, as he would, while you just stood off to the side and laughed into your drink, the scolding from moments before gone while you watched Brock make a fool of himself (as Ally and I would later learn, was actually just him being him). He brought the five of us so many drinks, he might have spent a year's worth of his salary that night alone.
Ok, not his salary. My salary, maybe. 
I don’t know what came over me that night we met, though. You know me well enough to know that I am not the type of person to do something big, or something that might scare me if I can help it. 
Asking you to dance was definitely because of the alcohol. Working up the courage to do that when the rest of our friends were standing talking was easy because of the alcohol. There was something about the vibe that night that made me want to do it. Something inside me was telling me I had to, or that I would regret it.
Part of me does regret it, sometimes. But, fuck, I’m glad I did it. 
Maybe that’s why they all say that we were meant for each other. Something about you had me doing things I never would have done otherwise. Ally took pictures of us while we were dancing. She said that we should use them for when the two of us inevitably got married. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at someone the way I looked at you.
Maybe it was the alcohol. 
Maybe it was because you were looking at me the same way. 
LoFrom,
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job.
Something, something, Kelly would tell me that if this is making me this unhappy, that I should quit, blah, blah, blah.
In this economy, though??? With this job market??? Maybe I go to another country…
I fucking hate that one guy, Jamie. Do you remember him? 
I feel like I ask you that a lot, if you remember certain things. I guess I’m just wondering if you think about me and us as much as I think about you. I hate how that sounds/reads/looks, but unfortunately for me, it’s true. I shouldn’t think about you as much as I do, but, here we are. That’s probably why you were the first person I thought of to write to when Kelly told me to start (sorry Grandma).
Anyway, Jamie was that guy we ran into that one night at the bar, before we started dating. Of course you remember him. You probably remember him more than you remember anything about me at this point.
He kept hitting on me, at one point had his hand on my arm and you went fucking crazy. 
It was insanely hot. 
I’ve told you that before, but I might as well tell you that again.
  What was even hotter in the moment was when you came up behind me and wrapped your arms around my waist. I always felt safe in your arms, if I’m being honest. That’s fucking corny of me.
Whatever.
You came up behind me and told him that you were glad he was keeping me company, that I was safe with someone I knew. I’m almost positive I heard you call me ‘your girl,’ but it was so loud in there, who knows. I hope you did. 
I’ve never seen someone so pissed off as I had when Jamie stomped away. 
I’ve never seen someone look the way you did, almost hungry? Jealous? When Jamie came over to me in the first place. I saw you the entire time, the way you clenched your glass, how you nearly threw it at Elias when you first saw Jamie touch me. I thought you were just trying to be a good friend. 
But it was the fact that you didn’t let go of me, you rested your chin on my head, even when Jamie was out of my sight.
I finally was able to turn around and get a look at you at one point after we just stood there for a little bit, the two of us starting to sway to the music. For me, it felt like there was no one else around us. I asked you why you were still holding on to me.
The fact that you just smiled at me, your hands tightening on my waist instead of outright answering me made my heart skip a beat. Every stupid, gooey, wonderful feeling you could think of when you know that you were in love with the person in front of you ran through me. 
My mind went blank when you finally kissed me. When I finally could form a coherent thought, the only thing I could think of was how that felt right.
You felt right.
I started this letter to talk about my job, but honestly, Jamie isn’t even worth it. He never really was. 
LFrom, 
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
The fact that we didn’t outright start dating after that night you kissed me drove me fucking insane. I don’t think I ever told you that, but seeing you talk to any other girl when we went out made me feel like I was going fucking insane.
I can’t believe you let me be jealous about a guy, about you of all people. I’m honestly pissed at you for that. And, the fact that I can see you reading this, see you throw your head back laughing at this, that kind of smile on your face as rare as it is would make me even more pissed at you.
The first time you asked me to come to a game after we kissed was the worst. Together, both of us tried to act like it had never happened. Ally apparently kept texting you telling you what you should do next, since, of course, she would be the one in our friend group to not only see us kiss, but to record it. Another video for our wedding, apparently (I still don’t know what she meant by ‘another’). Regardless, we had continued on like nothing happened, like we hadn’t kissed. Like it hadn’t meant anything to you.
And I had to pretend the same, even though it was sending me into a spiral.
After the game, you told us how to meet you outside your locker room so we could go get dinner (I kind of hate matinee games? They’re too early to do anything before and end too early to do something meaningful after? I felt like we were supposed to get a senior citizens discount when we finally made it to dinner). I saw you talking to that one girl; she was gorgeous. Honestly, when you think of the perfect girl, you probably should think of her. 
I saw you laugh and smile at her, and I felt a pit in my stomach wishing it was me you were talking to. 
When you hugged her, your hand lingering on her arm and the smile on your face staying there after you walked away, before you saw Ally and I with Elias and Brock, I felt like I could scream.
You knew something was wrong when I barely said anything on the way over. You were the one who didn’t buy it when I said I was just tired from work still, that I hadn’t slept the night before. You were the one who called my bluff when I said I wasn’t hungry because you were the one who heard my stomach, who was on Facetime with me when I went to sleep the night before.
I hated that you were the one who could call me out; not Ally, who I’ve lived with and been best friends with for how many years, you. I hated that you were the reason I shut down.
I hated you for a second.
How was I supposed to know that was Jake’s sister? 
From, 
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
When you finally asked me out, I knew it was because Ally had threatened you (affectionately). I pretended to be surprised that you were going to ask me, but I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know when. You never really were the type to let everyone in on things right away, were you?
I was surprised how you had the audacity to take me out to dinner and only let me know after you dropped me off that you thought it was a date, our first date. It must have been nice to go into dinner knowing it was a date when I had no idea it was. 
Sometimes I just wish you would have talked to me when you were thinking. You’re so quiet, you always look like you’re lost in thought, and I thought I could tell how to find you again. I felt like I knew everything, but apparently, I didn’t.
From,
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
Kelly told me that she wants to open up more in these letters. Apparently, I’m not letting myself ‘feel enough’ and that these letters are too vague, whatever that means. 
Fine, Kelly. 
You know when I knew for sure that I loved you? The first time we slept together. 
I didn’t tell you for three weeks after that that I loved you, even though I knew, and you didn’t tell me you loved me for almost two months after that. 
I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.
If you had told me, we wouldn’t have gotten so pissed off at each other all the time. I know I’m shit when it comes to sharing my feelings, but god, you were even worse. 
The first time we fought was barely a real fight. It was just us not talking. 
You were pissed off when I told you I had to do a project with Jamie. It’s not like I asked to be paired with him. I actually actively asked to not be anywhere near him as much as possible, but apparently, so does everyone else (capitalism is the worst, what do you mean the guy we all hate can stay at the job because he brings in a lot of money?) when I said I was talking to him at night because we had to get this project done, that the faster I could get the project done, the sooner I could go back to ignoring him.
Jamie was a fucking prick. Jamie is a fucking prick. But god, that night I would have talked to Jamie if it meant you didn’t act that way. 
I don’t remember everything that brought us up to it, but I remember it dawning on me. I didn’t know for sure that you liked me, or if you hated Jamie more from the stories I had told you. I doubted you. I doubt you. I never told you that outright, in those words, because how do you tell the person you’re supposed to love that you don’t think they love you back?
I asked you if you kissed me that night because you actually wanted to, or if it was just to make Jamie mad. He was still in the bar, even if I didn’t see him. You had seen him. You could see him. You saw him when you kissed me. You saw him over my shoulder when you pulled away. You admitted to it. 
You kissed me to get back at a guy you hadn’t said more than a couple words to. 
And then you told me it was because you loved me. Because you were in love with me. That you apparently knew when you first met me that you were going to fall in love with me, if you hadn’t fallen already.
I stared at you, furious at you and believing that you started our relationship because you wanted to, what, claim me? Mark me? I don’t even know. But then you told me the one thing I wanted to hear from you and the only thing I wanted to do was throw something at you.
So I walked out of your apartment instead. I called Brock, I had him pick me up, and he drove me back to my and Ally’s place. 
It was Brock who tried to convince me that what you said was real, that you actually meant it, and that he and Elias knew it was the truth because you told them. For some reason, you had waited until then, until we were screaming at each other, to tell me. It was Ally who needed to be calmed down after threatening to kill you, only once Brock pointed out that the city would probably riot against her. 
I was numb. 
And it was you who made me feel that way. I felt nothing. I wanted to feel so many things, anything really, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t feel a fucking thing. These letters are supposed to be me going back and figure out and really acknowledging what I was feeling throughout what I think were our biggest moments. But I didn’t feel anything.
Are you happy now, Kelly?
From,
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
I think after that last letter, I was nervous to write another. Ally found me sitting and crying at my desk. Apparently I never told her the full story of what had happened that night or why I didn’t talk to you for two weeks, even though she and Brock tried to get it out of me, Elias going over to your place once you called him. Elias didn’t know either, from the sound of it. We were Rory and Logan without the Bridal Party (if you still don’t get the Gilmore Girls reference, then we really shouldn’t have been together in the first place. We watched the show seven times, at least). 
We didn’t really know how to be around each other for a bit after that, did we? It took us a while to get back to where we were before. 
Who says that they love someone when they’re in the middle of a fight like that? Who says it for the first time like that? If you loved me, shouldn’t you have told me before? Shouldn’t you have told me in a different way?
I didn’t think you meant it when you told me you loved me, but everyone told me that you did, so I think I let myself believe it. At least at that point, I did. I think you loved me. You never seemed to be able to reassure me when I had my doubts, if you even knew that I had them. I know I loved you. 
I’ve spent the last year and a half trying to convince myself that I don’t love you anymore. 
Kelly, is that what these letters are supposed to be doing? Am I supposed to convince myself that I don’t love Quinn, or that I do?
We’re about to have a really intense session, aren’t we?
From, 
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
At this point, I’m just mad. These letters are just making me mad. I’m still mad about how we broke up, I’m still mad that you kissed me the way you did. 
I’m still mad that I think about you all the fucking time. 
The reason we broke up is what makes me furious.
I told you nothing was going on with Jamie.
I don’t like him. I have never liked him. I will never like him. The only person who mattered to me the entire relationship was you. You are were the one who mattersed to me. 
I told you so many times that Jamie was the one who kissed me. You knew I would never kiss that guy.
But the fact that you saw it? I’ve never felt like screaming and crying more than I did in that moment, causing a scene in public and embarrassing everyone be damned. The look on your face when I finally was able to push him off me, only to see you standing right there, drinks for both of us in your hands. I could see the tears in your eyes, your Adam's Apple bobbing up and down while you swallowed what I was sure was rage, anger, hurt, fury. You didn’t see that I was crying, too. You didn’t see that I was struggling to get him away from me. It was only a kiss, one that I didn’t want to happen, and you didn’t see anything other than his lips on mine.
If you did, you didn’t seem to care. 
You nearly broke the glasses as you slammed them down on the table near you, knocking over multiple people when you stormed out of the bar. 
I had to knee Jamie in the dick to get him off me so I could chase after you. 
You broke up with me right there. I don’t know how I could forget the look in your eyes when you told me you didn’t want to see me anymore if I was going to cheat on you with Jamie when you were standing right there, as if I intended to do that. You looked like you could kill someone. 
You didn’t care that I wasn’t the one who fucking kissed him, that I didn’t kiss him back, that you are the only person I want to kiss. If you heard anything I yelled at you when you were walking away, you didn’t care. You left me there, and I had to watch you walk away.
Ally found me on the sidewalk, sitting on the ground against the building outside where you told me you didn’t care about me anymore. I couldn’t even tell her what happened because I screamed so loud that my voice was gone.
Fuck you for that, Quinn.
Sarina
Dear Quinn,
Fine, I fucking miss you. That’s why I thought of you first to write to. There are so many fucking things that I never got to say, that I never got to ask, that I know you never told me that have been eating away at me and occupying my thoughts more than I want them to.
I miss you, I miss being held by you, touched by you, kissed by you. I miss the feeling if your skin against mine, the feeling of you inside me, for fucks sake. I miss when you would talk to me like I was the only person who mattered to you, because I know that you loved me as much as I love you. 
I miss every god damn stupid habit that you have, every little quirk of yours that you did on a game day that would drive me fucking insane. 
I still come home sometimes when you guys are on a road trip and expect you to call me, no matter where on the continent you are, because you missed me and I missed you and we needed to hear each others voices. 
I miss the guys and being friends with them, even though Ally still talks to them and gets to see them. 
You never let me tell you what really happened, because I don’t think you cared. I don’t know if you loved me.
I wish you did, because, fuck, I still love you. 
Are you happy now, Kelly?
I still love Quinn. You’re going to tell me that I’m too young to say this, but: I will always love that stupid, sad, wonderful boy that I met by chance one night at a bar and got to spend time with. I will always love the guy who made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe and cry so hard I couldn’t speak. I will always love Quinn, no matter who else I will fall in love with, or out of love with, if I stay here in Vancouver until I die, or if he gets traded or if I move on my own.
Fuck.
Love, 
Sarina
Dear Sarina,
I get that I was never supposed to see these. I probably am not supposed to know they even exist, but I’m fucking glad I do. You’re going to kill Ally for sending these to me, but, let’s face it, she’s the one who’s been pushing for us since minute one. Would we have had anything if we didn’t have Ally? 
But I don’t want to talk about her. 
I miss you.
I want you back.
I’m a fucking idiot for not being with you, for walking away from you that night.
You think that I didn’t love you? I’ve loved you this entire time. I loved you from the first time we talked, even though, you’re right, I didn’t say it when I should have because I’m an idiot. 
Can we talk?
Love,
Quinn
Dear Quinn,
Yes.
Love, 
Sarina
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eyejest · 2 days ago
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Happy Valentine's day everyone (coming from the aro guy but hey platonic love is love too)
I felt like drawing Skaterlight angst again... fork found in kitchen BUT I also wrote a fanfiction for this in the style of one of Lampert's journal entries, it's under the cut (1514 words)
I apologize if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, I wrote this in one go and wanted this entire thing posted before midnight
Dear Journal,
It’s currently day 3766, or three-thousand seven-hundred sixty-six. But looking at the clock, it seems like it’s getting close to midnight. If I hurry with finishing this entry it will still be day 3766. It doesn’t matter for now, I can correct it later if I was wrong.
Today is valentine’s day. It’s a day to celebrate love, usually romantic but I’ve heard some folks celebrate it for platonic reasons. Anyways, I’ve seen a lot of couples in Rokea today. I thought more people would be busy celebrating, going on dates, having fun with their loved ones. But it seems like I was wrong. Maybe some people enjoy going to Rokea for a date, I’m not sure. I’ve seen a fair share of pregnant people and families as well. The couples that didn’t have children quite yet seemed to buy a lot of things. They were probably moving into bigger homes for their growing family. The families that already had children were a lot to deal with. Some of them kept their kids on a short leash or sent them to the daycare area, but some just let them run wild. What a nuisance. I kept my distance for the most part, I didn’t want any of the children to get dirt or snot into my system. When there weren’t any children in the plots with toys and plushies, I cleaned them and organized them. I remember sorting some when the store was about to close when a child went up to me, she couldn’t have been any older than 7. “Miss?” She asked. I was quite startled because I didn’t see her. I was turned around. “I can’t find my mom and dad, have you seen them?”. I put on the friendliest tone my voice box would allow me. I find children to be quite annoying, but she was clearly worried. “I don’t know where they are, I don’t even know what they look like. Sorry.” The girl started to tear up. I got worried about the tears and snot her crying would produce so I had to think quickly. “Maybe we can go to the cashier. They could make an announcement so your parents know you’re safe and by the register.” That seemed to calm her down, thankfully. “Maybe…” she sobbed. I thought for a second and then said she should come with me so she doesn’t get lost. She seemed skeptical, stranger danger and all that. But I told her I’m an employee, which is sort of true, and that made her trust me a bit. “Follow me, but don’t touch me.” We started walking towards the exit where all the registers are. She was quiet for a while which I enjoyed. But then she started asking questions, great. “Have you ever lost your mom and dad?”. I sighed and told her I was made in a factory since I’m a lamp… and a robot too I guess. She seemed confused and asked if I ever had a family. “Well, the employees are kind of my family. I think. They took care of me when I needed it but nothing more. They didn’t have to do anything fancy, though. I managed just fine by myself.” “That sounds boring,” she mumbled. “You never ever had fun before?”. I was hesitant to reply, but I didn’t want her to run away or cry. “I used to have a best friend. But he’s sick and at home right now.” I thought about it some more. “We used to go bowling together.” The kid got excited. “I LOVE bowling! Me and mom and dad go bowling a lot! Mom says that's where she met dad!” I felt a bit melancholic about it and just replied with a simple nod. The kid became quiet again, she probably noticed now was not the time for this amount of chitchat. We arrived at the register, her parents were already there and were about to ask the cashier to make an announcement. They seemed to be very relieved as their child ran into their direction to hug them. The father went up to me. “Thank you so much, miss. She’s not usually like this. We were worried she was kidnapped or ran out of the building!” I waved it off: “No problem. I’m glad I could prevent any further panic.” The mother turned to her child: “What should you say to the nice lady?” “Thank you.” The kid said quietly. “I like your necklace a lot.” Right, my pendant. I forgot I was wearing that thing, it was a gift from Kasper. “Oh, thank you.” I said back. “Have a good rest of your evening.” I told the family as I walked away, the kid waved for a bit before they headed out.
The store closed down and the lights shut off. I had to turn my head on to see anything at all. I just wanted to go to a quiet and isolated place where I could calm down and rest. It’s been a while since I went to the outskirts of Rokea so I went to one of the pillars. I think that’s where me and Kasper met for the first time when he got lost. I usually just rest where it's neat and tidy but I felt nostalgic I suppose. Goodness, the plots around here were a mess. I don’t think anyone was here in ages, not even the employees. I started to clean up a play plot first. It had a heart lamp shining a soft pink light around the plot, a pullout couch, a rug and various plushies laying around. I just wanted everything to be over quickly. As I was pulling out the couch to see if it needed dusting I noticed something, a letter. Geez, that thing must be old, it’s all wrapped and it smelled like a couch. No way someone put this here today. I turned it around, and there was something written on the envelope. “To: Lampy”. I couldn’t believe my vision sensor at first. Lampy. That's what Kasper used to call me, it was a really cheesy nickname and sometimes it annoyed me a bit. I sat down on the rug. It was so dusty I regretted it instantly but I couldn’t help but lay down shortly after. Me and Kasper sat on this rug when we first met…  and the couch because he couldn’t sit still even if his life depended on it. That's when we were up all night talking about life. We sometimes went into this corner of Rokea if we wanted to stay in here and just talk without the employees finding us. He used to steal so many snacks from the cafeteria to eat during those talking sessions, kinda makes me wonder what it all tasted like. But I digress, I was holding the letter in my hand for a while, wondering if I should open it up or not for a solid thirty minutes. I decided to open it up. It read as follows: “Dear Lampy Haha, I know you can’t stand that nickname, sorry not sorry! It’s valentine’s day… well, not as of me writing this but it’s the day I’m giving this to you. You’re one of the best things to  have happen in my life. I can’t tell you how much you mean to me, how much we laugh together, how many things we can tell each other that we can’t tell anyone else, how much sorrow we shared and learned to live with together. IDK, I’m not good with words I suck when it comes to writing. That's why I’ve gotten an F in English on almost every test. I’ve never really had the guts to tell you this directly, but would you like to be my valentine? I’m not sure if we’re dating, heck, if you even have any feelings for me. But maybe giving you this letter can convince you to give this all a shot, we don’t have much to lose anyways. I love you so much Kasper”
I didn’t feel sad, I didn’t feel angry or anything like that after reading that letter. I just felt kinda numb. He almost confessed but probably hid it to give it to me later. I don’t know if he was just being stupid and forgot, or if he was too much of a coward to take the last step. I never told him either. Not because I was scared, but I wanted to let him take that step. It was so obvious, anyone with even a single brain cell could tell he had a crush on me. I wanted him to take that step to realize that he does have control over his life despite how many people around him made him feel like he didn’t.
I don’t know what I’m saying, I don’t want to get too emotional right now. It’s gonna be midnight in a few minutes anyways and I don’t feel like correcting anything. I’m going to call it a night, goodbye.
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iguessitsjustme · 1 year ago
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I'm bored so two truths and a lie time - hair edition why the fuck not
Is it strange to do a two truths and a lie about my hair? No idea. I'm gonna do it anyway.
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okcoolthanks · 3 days ago
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Do you guys ever
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sapphicautistic · 2 years ago
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My gf was listening to "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons and I once again told her that song is SO much better if it's gay.
She doesn't listen to the lyrics of songs but she's extremely good at literary analysis and this time she actually looked up the lyrics and has now come to the following conclusion: "It makes no sense if it's not gay."
My (objectively best) reading is this:
The narrator was in love with a guy who strung him along, never willing to be in a committed (or public) relationship with him and maybe insisting that it's extremely heterosexual "helping a bro out" sex, except in more intimate moments. Finally out of nowhere guy is suddenly committed to a woman and when Narrator confronted him, guy spat out homophobic vitriol and claimed he's not gay like the Narrator.
(For extra flavor imagine them as closeted, straight passing Midwestern flannel wearing, love-bonfires-and-camping guys who sat next to each other at church and elbowed and annoyed each other like best friends do and were each other's go-to source of emotional support! And then to suddenly shut Narrator out for the first time ever, by abruptly marrying a woman and insisting that he's always been straight and their relationship meant nothing...)
Here are the lyrics:
Can you lie next to her And give her your heart, your heart As well as your body? And can you lie next to her And confess your love, your love As well as your folly? And can you kneel before the king And say, "I'm clean! I'm clean!" ? But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage You did not think When you sent me to the brink, to the brink You desired my attention But denied my affections, my affections So tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Lead me to the truth and I Will follow you with my whole life Oh, lead me to the truth and I Will follow you with my whole life
Why call multiple people "you" in a totally unclear way? Why would you claim that your female ex's new man can't love her AT ALL (not just as much as you did, AT ALL)? And invoking the judgment of God is so fucking tedious if you're just shaming your female ex for moving on or even cheating/getting with your friend. Also you look like a creepy asshole if you think a girl broke up with you for "loving her too much".
This song is tepid, badly written, and makes the narrator look like an asshole if it's NOT gay.
The gay reading is the ONLY compelling one.
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alchemiclee · 11 hours ago
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I went to zipcon for the first time, in my furina cosplay! got many compliments on it 🤭
I tried to hand out little valentine's ducks to people, but I was so awkward I ended up with half of them left over 😭 only got pics with 2 cosplayers. a cute tighnari and an amazing focalors! the tighnari made me wish I was in my cyno cosplay! the focalors was a performer for the skit competition and she won!!!! she did the little dance from the game and then died. I don't know her but i'm so proud of her and so happy she won! she did amazing! I forgot to ask her for her social media (and forgot to pay attention to the name announcement for the skit) I wish I could have asked to be friends 😭 she seemed super nice even despite how weird and awkward I am.
so the sad part of this con is I had to go alone. couldn't convince anyone to go with me and didn't make a single friend at the con. tried for months to get someone to cosplay with me or at least meet up at the con and hang out fkr the day. nope. had a few people say they'd meet up just for a photo (that's all I asked for. one photo together in matching cosplay - genshin harbingers- i didn't even ask them to hang out because thats too much to ask for) but they all canceled without warning during the con 😭 more communication from them would have been better, not suddenly tell me you can't after you already left! I spent a week grinding an arlecchino cosplay, pulling all nighters up until the con and it was for nothing in the end. so I had to stay alone at the con and not get to meet anyone.
but!!! the good part is I predicted this outcome, I could tell they would do this, so went in furina cosplay instead and slayed 😌
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I bought a few things like this snek and felt super cute. i'm apparently a really pretty furina and *furina voice* everyone who missed out on meeting me and becoming my friend is at such a loss, how sad for them to miss out on me of all people! *dramatic hair flip*
#lee cosplays#zipcon#zipcon 2025#cosplay#furina#furina cosplay#genshin impact#genshin cosplay#nonbinary cosplayer#disabled cosplayer#day-lees#kinda annoyed at the people i tried to meet up with because i put to much effort into trying to make friends and meetup and got nothing#disappointed but not surprised. things like this always happen to me 100% of the time. since i knew it would i went with different cosplay#and im glad i did. i felt so cute so at least i got to be a cute furina for a day. was high key hoping theyd cancel so i could stay furina#and i was way too tired to change anyway just for a single photo. they clearly didnt want to hang out outside of that anyway and#do an actual group cosplay. maybe one day ill get to be part of a group cosplay 🥲 clearly i cant be the leader of the group#i camt get people to cooperate and communicate with me. its too stressful to even try and deal with. just makes me upset in the end#AND HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE MAKE FRIENDS AT CONS!?? I INTERACTED WITH MORE PEOPLE THIS TIME THAN EVER BEFORE. NOT ONE FRIEND MADE#I DONT GET IT!!!!! everyone thst told me id make friends by going to events is a liar.#overall i was bored at the con and exhasuted from it. going places alone makes me so bored and lonely and tired. not really worth#but at least i was the cutest furina ever and everyone knew it 😌 even many people who didnt know what character i was!#was i a bit too harsh here about the whole meetup thing? i know they had other plans and stuff but the lack of commitment and communication#it's just frustrating that this happens every time to me. its predictable thats how sad it is lmao so it's not just them but in general#i mean look at me im so cute in cosplay who wouldnt want to meet me and be my friend? 💁‍♀️
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primrosebitch · 2 months ago
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When I was like idk 7 or so my mom brought me to this psychiatrist guy, and when there he had me do stuff like sit alone in a room in front of a computer and click whenever a green light flashed, and he did stuff that tested my memory, and he showed me pictures of people doing exaggerated expressions and had me guess what emotion they were portraying, and had me do like different kinds of puzzles, etc.
Now I had just assumed that this was normal therapy shit (even though I was going to therapy from a young age...) and never actually asked my mom what it was, and I know she'd have told me if i did. It was only years later when I was like 15 that I realized that 'wait that was definitely not normal therapy' and so I asked my mom and turns out that was where I got diagnosed with adhd.
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amandragora · 6 months ago
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I genuinely hate my father
It's always such a joke that he's still alive while childhood friends of mine have begun to die
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homunculus-argument · 6 months ago
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Sometimes in therapy I feel like I don't have trauma in some correct sort of way. Like I'll be explaining that my childhood wasn't even really traumatic, just kind of bleak and boring. The worst my parents ever made me feel was disappointed, but not surprised. it was all so very mundane. And whenever some therapist asks me what I mean, I'll tell some random story that I happen to remember off the top of my head of what my childhood was like, or one that I think illustrated what kind of people my parents were and what their relationship was like.
Like this one time I remember when I was like 10 or so, I can't remember where we were going but the whole family was getting into the car, and dad started bitching at mom about how come when their first car was in his name, it was their car, and then when they had their own cars they had his car and her car, but now that they only have one car again, it's still just her car.
And then mom bitterly pointed out that the reason why he doesn't have a company benefit car anymore is because he lost his lisence for driving drunk with the kids on board while she was on a business trip. (And while mom didn't bring it up at the time, he had also tried to cover this up and act like nothing had happened. And she wouldn't have found out if my (11/12-year-old at the time?) sister hadn't thought of calling one of mom's friends like "hey cops showed up and took dad so we're home alone now idk what we're supposed to do now" and she came to watch us and told mom.)
...And I was like 10 and sitting quietly on the back seat listening to them bickering about this because they still both bothered to be mad about it. Not mad enough to get divorced or anything, but still bitter enough to bitch at each other about each other. And a therapist will be like wow how did that make you feel, and ???
Bored of it? Disappointed, but not surprised? That was just what life was like. Quietly waiting for bitter adults to be done bickering with each other because you can't do anything to fix this and while they could, they won't do anything to improve their lives. Life was just like that.
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waitimcomingtoo · 6 months ago
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I’ll Cry If I Want To
Pairing: enemies to lovers!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Synopsis: you get stood up on your birthday and Peter attempts to cheer you up despite your feud
Masterlist
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Peter walked into the kitchen in the tower and was immediately greeted by a confetti popper exploding in his face followed by a tender kiss on the forehead from Tony.
“Oh, my. Good morning to me.” Peter smiled at the greeting.
“Damn it, Parker.” Tony groaned. “I thought you were my little girl.”
“Don’t feel bad, daddy. A lot of people confuse Peter for a little girl.” You said as you walked into the kitchen behind Peter. The two of you made eye contact and you gave him an innocent smile while he rolled his eyes at you.
“Ha ha.“ He said sarcastically and then hissed at you like a cat. You gave him a look as you walked over to your dad.
“Happy birthday, baby girl.” Tony said and pulled you into a long hug.
“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled and hugged him back.
“Thank you, daddy.” Peter said in a high pitched voice to mock you. You and Tony looked at him and he quickly cleared his throat.
“Sorry. What I meant to say was, happy birthday. I didn’t know that was today. I mean, I’d been wondering why you looked so old but I assumed it was from your lack of sunscreen use.”
“Nice try. I wear sunscreen everyday.” You replied.
“Really?” He gasped. “Might want to up that SPF a few. You look like a crumbled piece of paper and not in a fun Taylor Swift way.”
“Don’t talk to me about skincare, Rudolf.” You snapped and tapped your nose twice to point out the zit on the tip of Peter nose. He covered it with his hand and narrowed his eyes at you.
“Children, please. No fighting. It stops my moisturizer from sinking in.” Tony sighed and rubbed circles into his skin.
“Sorry, daddy. I just wanted to make sure Peter knew about the giant pimple on his nose in case he was going to see anyone today.” You said as you smiled sweetly at Peter. He discreetly flipped you off by scratching his cheek with his middle finger.
“Any plans for the night, jelly bean?” Tony asked you.
“Nothing crazy. My friends are coming over later for a sleepover.”
“Oh God. Is this gonna be one of those crazy parties where you all get drunk and things get out of hand and you accidentally kill someone and have to dispose of the body together while hijixs ensues?” Peter. whined.
“No, because this isn’t one of the pornos you watch.” You scoffed.
“Pfft. That is not what I watch.” He insisted. “Where would I even find something like that? What would I even type? I’m open to suggestions.���
“Shut up.” You laughed. “You’re such a weirdo. And don’t be hanging around when my friends are here. I already told them you’re a pervert and on the FBI watch list so you don’t have a chance with any of them.”
“I don’t want to date your freakbob friends anyway.” He scoffed. “And to keep it down tonight, will you? I already wake up the birds chirping every morning. I don’t want to hear you birds all night too.”
“I actually came up with a solution for that. What if you killed yourself?” You asked through a smile.
“That’s a great idea. I might give that a whirl today if I’m not busy.” He replied and matched your smile.
“You? Busy?” You laughed. “Please. Busy doing what?”
“Peter and I are gonna be in the lab doing boring stuff with the suits. Adjustments, additions, and what have you.” Tony answered you.
“Oh. Okay. Do you need any help?” You asked.
“I wouldn’t ask you to do that on your birthday, baby girl. Peters got it.” Tony replied, making your smile falter a little.
“Yeah. I’ve got it.” Peter boasted and gave you a smug look. You glared at him for a moment before looking back at your dad.
“I’ll catch you later for some cake, okay honey bun?” Tony told you before kissing your forehead.
“Okay. Bye. Have fun.” You smiled sadly as he left the room.
“You look greasy, by the way.” Peter said once you were alone.
“Like I care what you think. Even your hairline won’t stay with you.” You scoffed and nodded towards his forehead.
“It’s not actually receding, is it?” He asked and touched his hair.
“Maybe your forehead is just getting bigger.” You shrugged and popped a grape in your mouth from the bowl on the table.
“Bite me.” He replied and stopped touching his hair.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You chuckled. “Isn’t that how you got your powers, spider boy?”
“Yup. What do you think would happen if you bite me? Would I be able to a do anything a total bitch can?” He wondered, making you pelt a grape at him. He caught it with ease and popped it into his mouth.
“Watch your mouth before I bring out the peppermint essential oils again.” You warned him.
“You wouldn’t.” He said quietly.
“Try me.” You shrugged. You stared at each other across the kitchen for a moment before Peter gave up.
“You win. Here’s your card. Happy birthday, gaylord.” He said as he handed you a homemade birthday card from his jeans pocket before quickly running out of the room. You rolled your eyes at him but smiled once he was gone and read the card. As annoying as you normally found him, you appreciated that he remembered your birthday. Inside the card was a crude drawing of the two of you fighting next to a drawing of a gift card to Planet Fitness.
Peter strolled into your bedroom around 10 pm when he had grown curious as to why your friends weren’t there yet. It was getting kind of late and you had listed many activities that you had planned to do while Peter begrudgingly listened to you talk earlier in the day. You were still in your room by yourself so he went in and knocked on your door to see what was happening.
“Hey dingus. When are your dumb friends getting here? I need to know when I should jam my ears with scissors.” Peter said as he leaned against your doorway. You were sitting on your bed with your knees draw to your chest and your chin resting on top of them as you stared out the window.
“Do that anyway.” You mumbled and didn’t move from your position.
“I’m going to. I can’t listen to you all yap about when Reputation TV is coming all night. And your friend Stacy’s theories are always way off.” He continued. You still didn’t turn to look at him and his smirk dropped when he heard a sniffle. He frowned and took a step into your room.
“Hello? I knew you were dumb but did you forget how to turn your neck or something?” He said to try to make you laugh. You stayed still and he craned his neck to try to see your face.
“Seriously though, when are they coming?”
“They’re not coming.” You said finally in a horse voice.
“Why? What happened? Did they finally realize you’re an annoying brat whose only redeeming quality is access to daddy’s credit card?” Peter teased in another attempt to make you laugh.
“Something like that.” You mumbled. Peter frowned and finally realized that something was actually wrong. He sat down on your bed and reached his hand out.
“Whats going on? Are you okay?” He asked in a soft voice.
“Just go away.” You said sadly and wiped tears from your face. Peter shot a web at a tissue box on your dresser and pulled it over.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened.” He said and handed you a tissue. You gave him a skeptical look and he held up one hand in defense while waving the tissue in the other like a white flag. You sighed and took the tissue before wiping your eyes.
“They found out it wasn’t a yacht party or at some fancy restaurant or some elitist club in Tribeca so they all cancelled.“ You said as you nervously ripped the tissue up in your hands.
“They cancelled? Why?”
“Because no one wants to come to my party. They want to come to a Stark Industries party with puppies in the gift bags and acrobats suspended from the ceiling and Avengers walking around like party clowns. Just hanging out with me wasn’t cool enough so they all bailed.” You sniffled and turned back to look out the window. Peter raised his hand to place it on your shoulder but then drew it back. He didn’t know if he was who you’d want to comfort you and he didn’t want to push it.
“I’m sorry.” He said instead.
“Like you care.” You laughed sadly and held your knees tighter to your chest.
“I do care.” He insisted. “And I’m very sorry this happened to you tonight.”
“No you’re not.” You scoffed. “You’re probably thrilled to see me like this. This is probably the greatest moment of your dumb life.”
“It’s not.” He said quietly. You finally whipped around to look at Peter and he saw the pain in your red eyes.
“It’s not? Look at me, Peter. I’m pathetic. I’m alone on my birthday because I wasn’t good enough for anyone to hang out with.” You exclaimed. Peter went quiet as you slowly caught your breath. You teased each other all the time but you’d never actually yelled at him before. You wiped your eyes with the tissue before staring at your hands.
“You were right.” You said quietly. “I am just a spoiled brat who people only like because of my connections. And I’m sure you’re anxiously waiting for me to shut up so you can say “I told you so” and prove to me once again that I’m always wrong.”
You and Peter sat in silence for a minute without looking at each other. Peter felt guilty that you were expecting him to kick you while you were down. You were feeling your own guilt for snapping at him when he was trying to be nice.
“I’m not gonna say that.” He said after a beat.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. Just go away.” You said miserably and turned back to the window. Peter opened his mouth to say something but shut it when he couldn’t find the words. He patted your shoulder twice before getting up and leaving your room. You turned to look at the door once he was gone and felt yourself missing his presence. You turned back to the window and stared out at the night sky through your teary eyes and let time pass.
After a while, you started to smell something. You sniffed the air until you recognized it as the scent of a something burning. Out of sheer curiosity, you wrapped a blanket around your shoulders and padded into the kitchen. You found Peter in the kitchen with a lace trimmed pink apron tied around his waist and flour smeared on his cheek. You smiled in surprise and leaned against the wall to watch him for a minute. He was humming to himself a song you didn’t recognize while scrapping a burnt black lump of something into the trash can. When he finally turned around, he jumped when he saw you.
“Jesus. You scared me. But I guess I should’ve known the smell of something baking would have your big back running to the kitchen like I hit the bat signal.”
“Shut up.” You chuckled. “What are you doing in here?”
“Well, your parents went to a movie since they thought your friends would be here. That means no ones home.” Peter began.
“And?” You asked.
“And so I thought we could fulfill a lifelong fantasy of mine and making sweet love to you on the kitchen counter.” He smiled suavely and raised his eyebrows at you.
“Excuse me?” Your jaw dropped as he drummed his fingertips on the counter.
“I’m joking. I’m clearly baking a bake. Or, I tried. I guess 500 degrees was too hot.” He said and looked at the burnt cake in the trash.
“Yeah, that’s a few hundred above what it should be. But why are you baking? We have a chef for that.”
“Because it’s your birthday you miserable bitch. And everyone deserves a cake baked with love. Now do you prefer chocolate or vanilla frosting on your burnt cake?” He asked and held up two cans of frosting. You looked between the two before your eyes settled on him. You hugged your blanket tighter around yourself and shook your head.
“I don’t want your pity.” You said quietly.
“You don’t have it so shut up and grab a spatula before I rescind your choice in the matter and funfetti the fuck out of this cake.” He replied and held out a spatula. You stared at it and felt compelled to take it and join him, but you were still throwing yourself a pity party.
“No.”
“No? Look, I’m trying to cheer your dumb ass up so can you please work with me here?” Peter sighed and looked at you. You stared at him for a while before cracking the slightest smile. He noticed the smile and knew he had succeeded in his plan to cheer you up.
“Fine. But I’m not eating that. That’s what Santa puts in the bad kids stockings. We’ll make a new one. But I’m not touching raw eggs.” You told him and grabbed your dad’s matching pink apron from the drawer.
“I wouldn’t expect you to, Princess.” Peter mumbled under his breath. You glared at him through your lashes as you threw some flour and sugar into a bowl. Peter went to put the butter in but you pushed his hand away.
“It can’t be cold butter or it won’t mix properly. It has to be room temperature.” You explained as you filled a measuring cup with water.
“Oh. Let’s pop it in the microwave then.”
“We can’t do that either. Then the hot butter will scramble the eggs. Do you want little egg bits in your cake?” You asked him as you microwaved the cup of water for a minute.
“Maybe just a little.” Peter replied as he watched you put the butter into a small bowl and then place the bowl on top of the microwaved water.
“There. This will soften the butter without making it hot enough to scramble the eggs.” You explained. He looked between your little invention and you for a minute before smiling.
“Wow. That was really smart.” He said genuinely. “Women really do belong in the kitchen.”
“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes as you set the temperature to the correct heat on the oven. Peter couldn’t help but watch you over his shoulder as you combined the rest of the dry ingredients and expertly cracked an egg in one hand. He rarely got to see you like this, no makeup and in lounge clothes. And he definitely never saw you upset before. He was used to the perfectly groomed and standoffish version of yourself so this change of pace brought him unexpected joy.
“Move over. That’s not how you mix batter. You need to fold it.” You told him and reminded him of the you he knew. You bumped him with your hip and put your hands over his to help him fold the batter.
“Like laundry?” He asked as his cheeks heated up.
“Like you know what laundry is, Pigpen. And no. A different folding. Like this.” You said and helped him mix the batter until it was the desired consistency.
“Oh wow. That worked really well. I usually just go sicko mode until it turns into goop.” He confessed.
“And how does that work out for you?” You asked him.
“Look in the trash and you’ll find out.” Peter replied and eyed the burnt cake in the garbage can. You playfully rolled your eyes at him and kept helping him fold the batter. Everytime he tried to stir the batter, you gently corrected his hands to fold it instead.
“Why don’t you just do it?” He asked when he started getting frustrated with himself.
“Because you won’t learn if I do it.” You replied in a softer tone. Peter went quiet since you were being unexpectedly nice to him. You let the batter sit for minute once you were satisfied and then poured in into a cake pan.
“There. Thats gonna take about 30 minutes to bake and then it needs to cool before we frost it.” You told him as you shut the oven door.
“Oh, so we have 30 minutes? Then circling back to that making love on the counter idea-“
“Shut it.” You warned him. Peter pretended to zipper his lips and throw away the key. You cracked a smile before starting to clean up the kitchen. Peter wordlessly helped you tidy up and you exchanged a soft smile with each other in the silence of the kitchen.
“What was your worst birthday?” You asked after a long beat of silence.
“Are you talking to me?” Peter asked after looking around.
“Peter, we’re the only ones in the room.”
“Sorry. It’s not like you’ve ever asked me a personal question before. It’s usually “are you stupid?” or “can you go away?” or “do you need a tampon cry baby?” He recalled, making you feel bad for always being so mean to him.
“Oh. Sorry about that.” You said quietly. “I sound a lot meaner than I thought I was.”
“I’m mean too.” Peter shrugged.
“You tease me.” You shook your head. “I’m just cruel.”
“I think we are an equal amount of mean to each other. Don’t let it keep you up at night. I’m sure your chronic yeast infections do that enough.” Peter tried to lighten the mood, but you didn’t crack a smile. You seemed faraway in thought and he was curious as to why.
“Do you think I’m hard to be around?” You asked after a minute. Peter was about to crack another joke until he saw the look on your face. He could tell you needed a friend right now and was filled with determination to be one.
“No. I think those girls you called your “friends” are hard to be around.” He said seriously. “I’ve seen you with them. They’re the mean ones. Them bailing tonight has nothing to do with you. They’re a bunch of shallow jerks who only care about the material things in life. They don’t care about having deep connections with people. They only care about deep pockets on people. I know this isn’t the first time they’ve ditched you. And I know you feel alone even when they are here because you’re never fully included. You think no one notices because you tell stories about your charming adventures together but I see it in your eyes. They make you feel like an afterthought. You act tough and pretend it doesn’t bother you but I know that it does. You shouldn’t hang out with them anymore.”
“Then who am I going to hang out with?” You shrugged sadly. “Without them, I don’t have any friends.”
“Sitting alone is better than sitting at a table where you’re the topic of conversation when you get up.” Peter said simply. You stared at him for a moment before your eyes fell to the floor.
“I just don’t want to be alone.” You said quietly. Peter nodded his head in understanding and let a silence fall between the two of for a while. He was going to say that you wouldn’t be alone because you’d have him, but he didn’t know if you wanted to hear that.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked.
“No.” You said immediately. You made eye contact and you let out a sigh.
“Okay. Go ahead.”
“Why don’t you like me?” He asked without looking into our eyes. You saw that coming and stared at him to try and get a sense of what was going on in his head. He slowly looked back up at you and gave you a weak smile.
“Do you remember that time the power went out in the city due to that Max guy or whatever and we all lit candles and hung out in the tower?”
“Uh oh.” Peter gulped. “You answered my question with another question. That can’t be good.”
“Shut up. Do you remember or not?” You asked and gently kicked his foot with your foot.
“I remember that.” He told you and held your gaze.
“You were new around here. You had just gotten your powers that year so I didn’t really know you yet. I had gone to look for more candles and found you crying on the floor of the linen closet.
“I remember that.” He nodded. “It was all so overwhelming to be here with the whole team. I had never felt so small.”
“I know. I told you I felt like that too sometimes. And then we stayed up for hours talking about every stupid thing we ever worried about and gave each other advice. I think at one point I gave you advice on how much conditioner to use.” You said as you replayed the night in your memory. You had a look on your face that Peter had never seen on you before. It was natural and relaxed and playful, all things he knew to be the opposite of you. It was so rare that the two of you were getting along and he didn’t want to do anything to ruin in.
“A dime sized amount and not on the roots. I still use that advice.” He chuckled. “You were so nice to me that night. You came in and pretended I wasn’t crying so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed. You just sat down with me and started talking ad if we’d always been friends. You quieted all my fears that night. I was initially so embarrassed about it but then I felt a lot better knowing someone had my back no matter how bad I messed up.”
“I always had your back.” You insisted. “Even when I was mean to you. If you were in trouble with my dad, I was always here talking him down and trying to get him to see your side. He sees you through the lense of his child that he doesn’t want hurt but I’ve always seen you as a hero who wants to help. I even got him to give you the suit back when you were 15. And it was my idea to put the warmers in because you told me you’re always cold.”
“Really? You were rooting for me this whole time?” He cracked a smile in surprise.
“Yeah.” You shrugged. “Always.”
“Then how come you act like…” Peter trailed off in fear of insulting you.
“Like what?” You asked, sounding like you already knew what was coming.
“Like you hate me.” He admitted. You felt your face burn in embarrassment and shook your head.
“I don’t hate you.” You said sheepishly.
“You don’t?” He asked in genuine surprise. You looked at him and he could see the guilt in your eyes even in the dim light of the kitchen.
“No. I don’t. I never did.”
“Then how come we don’t get along anymore?” He asked. He had only gone along with all the teasing since you began it, but he had always wondered why it started.
“One of the things we had talked about that night was how my one regret about being homeschooled was never getting to experience a prom. I told you had dreamed of it since I was a little girl and it broke my heart to know I’d never have one. So then you said…” You trailed off, thinking he’d remember what he told you. His face showed no sign of remembering it but he racked his brain anyway.
“I said what?” He asked, breaking your heart just a little more.
“You promised to take me. To yours.” You told him. You and Peter stood in silence for a moment before he burst out laughing. Your sadness immediately hardened into anger at the sound of him laughing at you.
“Wait, you’ve been pissy towards me for the last few years because I broke a promise I made at 15 years old and didn’t take you to a stupid school dance?” Peter asked through a laugh. You glared at him for his reaction and he immediately stopped when he noticed you weren’t laughing too.
“Oh. We’re not laughing?” He asked.
“Why is that funny to you?” You snapped. Peter saw the moment slipping away from him and started to panic.
“Well I was- I was a kid.” He said simply. “I had a huge crush on this girl Liz and we were finally becoming friends so I asked her and she said yes. That was years after I promised you that. I’m sorry but I didn’t remember.”
Peter thought you were going to yell at him and hurl a parade of insults his way, but you just nodded your head and looked down at the ground.
“You’re right. We were just kids. Forget I said anything.” You mumbled and started walking towards the door to leave. Peter knew he had messed up big time and possibly just killed any and all chances of the two of you becoming friends.
“Wait.” He said desperately just as the kitchen timer went off. You stopped walking and watched him haphazardly take the cake out of the oven and throw it in the stove top as he blew on it.
“You should stay. We have to frost it.” He said with a weak smile and an even weaker attempt for you for stay.
“You can’t frost it while it’s hot. It’ll slip right off.” You said without looking at him.
“Oh. I didn’t know that. Well then do you want to talk some more or-“
“I have to go.” You cut him off and swiftly left the kitchen.
You went back to your room to resume the pouting you had started earlier. You felt guilty about walking out on Peter but it had hurt you to know that a promise that had meant a lot to you didn’t even stay in his memory. You stared out the window and sulked as you thought yourself into a deep rut. It didn’t take long for Peter to start making noise in the kitchen, interrupting your thought spiral. You heard things falling out of cabinets followed by Peter swearing. He bumbled around for a while and slowly drove you crazy with all the noise he was making until you couldn’t take it anymore. Just when you were about to text him and tell him the knock it off, you heard the dulcet sounds of “The Dancing Queen” coming from downstairs. You groaned in frustration and got out of bed to go downstairs and see what was happening.
When you got to the living room, Peter was standing there in one of your dad’s suits that hugged him a little too tightly around his muscles. The room looked like it had been decorated by a child with poorly hung streamers, ripped up construction paper to act as confetti, and bunches of webs that Peter had tried to shape into stars and moons. He had dimmed the lights and put a single bowl of chips on the counter, which he proudly stood beside.
“What the hell is this?” You asked him.
“Will you go to prom with me?” He asked with a huge smile.
“No.” You said immediately. “Please kill yourself.”
“I will.” He promised. “After one dance.”
“I’m not dancing with you. I’m not doing any of this.” You told him and turned to leave. You heard a “pst” right before feeling a web hit your back. Before you knew it, Peter tugged on the web and sent you stumbling back into Peter’s arms. He caught you with ease and winked when you landed in his arms. You rolled your eyes at him but felt a smile tugged at your lips.
“Please? Just one dance? Then I’ll let you go and hate me for the rest of your life.” He pleaded as he stared into your eyes. He looked so desperate that you found yourself nodding before you knew what you were agreeing to. He smiled in excitement and twirled you around before slowly swaying to the beat. You begrudgingly sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck while his stayed in a respectable place on your hips. You could feel his eyes on you but you kept yours on the ceiling.
“You can look at me, you know.” He teased, making you begrudgingly look him in the eyes.
“Oh. I almost forgot.” He smiled and pulled something out of his pocket. You looked down and saw a few poorly drawn flowers webbed to a rubber band.
“Your corsage, my lady.” He said as he slipped it onto your wrist.
“This is so stupid.” You laughed but secretly loved the thought he put into everything.
“It’s about to get even more stupid. Wait here.” He asked and quickly ran into the kitchen. He returned with one of Morgan’s plastic tiaras with a big fake gem in the center.
“Every prom needs its queen.” He said as he placed the crown on your head. You made eye contact as he stepped forward to adjust it and you felt your breath catch in your throat from how close he was.
“You didn’t have to do this.” You said quietly.
“Yes I did. I owed you a prom experience. I’m sorry I didn’t take you the first time. And I’m sorry for laughing at you. You just caught me off guard. I have spent many nights thinking of all the things I could have done to make you hate me. I genuinely forgot about that promise. I had no idea this entire time that you hated me because of prom.” He said as the two of you started swaying to the music again. You felt a feeling rise up in your chest, a feeling you hadn’t felt for Peter in many years.
“It wasn’t just the prom.” You admitted before you could think about it.
“It wasn’t? What else did I do? Did I hotbox the elevator with you in it or something?” He asked. “I did that to Wanda once and now she’ll show up in my dreams sometimes and make me pee the bed.”
“That’s disgusting.” You said flatly. “But no. It wasn’t that.”
“Then what?” He wondered.
“It’s stupid. You’ll just laugh again.”
“No I won’t.” He assured you. “Probably. I’ll definitely try really hard not to.
“Come on. Please tell me.” He pleaded and gave your hip a gentle squeeze. “You have to tell me now or I’ll become so annoying so quickly. I’ll be worse than those people who try to describe SNL skits to you and keep explaining even when it’s clearly only funny if you’re watching it.”
“I can’t tell you. It’s dumb anyway. Forget I said anything.” You said and hoped he’d drop it.
“It can’t be that dumb if it stood between us all these years. What, did you have a crush on me or something?” He laughed through his question. You went quiet and Peters eyes went wide.
“Oh shit. Did you have a crush on me?” He asked in a soft voice. You looked down at the ground to avoid having to look him in the eyes now that you were caught.
“I don’t know.” You sighed. “You were my age and had these cool powers and muscles and unexpected sense of humor. I was homeschooled and had swiped to the end of Tinder. You were my only option.”
“Oh. I see. So you only liked me because I was the only choice?” He said through a laugh but it hurt him. You could sense in his voice that you had just hurt his feelings and for once, that wasn’t what you wanted.
“I mean, not the only choice.” You added. “Cap used to hang around a lot more and he’s not the worst looking. But he’s like 500 so I never really had a chance.”
“Why me, then?” He wondered. You finally looked in to his eyes and shrugged a little.
“Because you were kind.” You admitted. “You didn’t need to take on as much as what you did at such a young age but you refused to do the easy stuff. You used to drive my dad crazy with how for you begged for assignments. You were so determined to get out there and save people, it was almost obnoxious. You were never content getting back stolen bikes. You always wanted to protect people from the big things. Even when you were just a kid. I liked that about you. I still do.”
“Still?” He gulped. “Even now?”
Before you could respond, the slow music that was playing ended and “Munch” started to blast from Peter phone. He scrambled to change the song but the moment had already been ruined.
“Sorry about that. I don’t know who put that on my playlist.” He quickly lied.
“It was you.”
“It was me, yeah.” He admitted and hung his head in shame. You stopped dancing and slowly withdrew your arms from him, making his heart sink.
“This was really sweet. Thank you, Peter.” You said genuinely. “I should probably get to bed now. I just want this day to end.”
“But we haven’t frosted the cake yet. It’s still your birthday. You can’t go to bed without any cake.” He said in a desperate attempt to get you to stay.
“I don’t know. It’s late.”
“Come on. It’ll be fast. That’s one of my powers. Spider can frost cake really fast and so can I.” He said and rushed over to the cake. He held it up and gave you a lopsided smile, convincing you to stay.
“Fine. Let’s make it fast.” You agreed and walked over to him. He smiled at you joining him and got out the frosting. He handed you a spatula and you started to frost the cake.
“You don’t have to keep wearing that if you don’t want.” Peter chuckled and went to take your crown off. You quickly swatted his hand and adjusted your crown.
“Back off. It’s mine.” You said and stepped away from him. He chuckled again and you laughed too.
“I really do appreciate everything you did for me tonight. I hope I can make it up to you one day.” You told him.
“You can make it up to me right now if we clear off this counter top and-“
“No.” You cut him off.
“Worth a try.” He mumbled.
“Really, though. You cheered me up tonight and I didn’t think that was possible.”
“In a way, I’m glad your stupid friends cancelled on you. It gave us an opportunity to spend time together. And this was the least I could do for not taking you to my real prom. Which was total buns, by the way. I missed most of it because I was putting my dates dad in jail.”
“Well I’m glad that didn’t happen tonight.” You laughed softly.
“Me either. I wish I took you to the first one. We could have been friends this whole time if I had just remembered my promise.” He sighed.
“It’s fine. It was a long time ago. I’m done moping about it. I’m ready to eat this cake and be friends from now on.”
“I’m ready for that too.” He smiled at you. “Especially the part about us being friends. But also for this cake because it’s kinda giving me a boner from how good it smells.”
“It does smell really good. I can’t even blame your boner. But if that thing even looks at me you’re getting impromptu gender reassignment surgery with this spatula.”
“Ouch.” He chuckled and looked over at you. He didn’t stop looking at you until you felt his eyes on you.
“What?” You laughed shyly.
“I can’t believe you ever liked me. And that this whole time, I had no idea. I am so not cool enough for a girl like you to like.”
“Yeah, well. It wasn’t like I dropped any hints.”
“Maybe not. It just doesn’t feel real. I wouldn’t believe it even if you weren’t always mean to me. You reciprocating my feelings was not something I ever thought would happen.”
“Reciprocating? You liked me too?” You asked as your mouth went dry.
“Are you kidding? You’re my mentors insanely hot and totally off limits daughter. Of course I liked you. Not to mention you’re funny, smart, good with a screwdriver and the apparently my biggest supporter. Though you did it in secret. Make no mistake, birthday girl. I had the biggest crush on you for years. Even when you were being mean to me.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.” You said quietly. You had your back to him as you washed your hands but you could feel his eyes on you. You peaked over your shoulder and sure enough, Peter’s eyes were locked on you. You gulped and turned back around when you heard him walking over to you.
“You know, as mean as your insults were, they were always clever. And you always looked good saying them. How could I not fall for you?” He said as he came up behind you. He was close enough that you could smell his cologne, along with a scent that was just distinctly Peter, making your heart pound in your ears. You turned around and leaned against the counter as you looked into his eyes.
“Well how do you feel now?” You asked with unwavering eye contact.
“I feel like those feelings never left.” He admitted. You had never heard such confidence in his voice and it was just the thing to tip the scales back in his favor.
“Hm. Interesting.” You shrugged and turned back around. It was almost like you could hear the disappointment in the air once you had your back to him again. You decided not to torture him forever and give in to what you both wanted.
“Peter?” You asked and looked over your shoulder at him.
“Yeah?”
“Clear the countertop.”
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