#but my controller is fucking broken
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hollow knight is so goddamn difficult to play on keyboard + mouse
maybe its just me bc im used to using a controller but. oh my god. this literally hurts my poor wrists
#hk#hollow knight#text#*normal sounds*#finally playing hk on my new gaming pc#but my controller is fucking broken#(wont let me use the stick to move right; thinks im constantly holding down right trigger)#and also the wire probably isnt long enough to reach my little perch from my computer tower#so im forced to play on keyboard#and. one thing abt my new keyboard is that sometimes it doesnt recognise my inputs#so thats lovely.#and my wrists hurt from straining or hold my mouse and press the right keys ✌️#also look at me finally posting on my hk blog again#wow i didnt know that was possible#anyway time to ask my brother if i can borrow his controller for a bit
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#not art (yet!!!!)#preddy good kristen I got goin on in this piece#for some reason my brain isnt letting me do this one. been stalling on it for a good few days. but I intend to break thru it#I need to put this on paper at least once#(its space sweepers. I think it would be funny if the kids are in that universe too but theyre just like off to the side doing their own#thing pretty much unrelated to the main plot. theyre delivery people. theyre all still teens. they get up to shenanigans and then#one day they look up like huh the guy who founded eden fucking died?? when#kristen specifically I got a decent amount hashed out in my brain somehow. she's like an engineered messiah with a grafted engine#along her upper body skeleton that'd let her spontaneously rearrange objects on a molecular level#so she can theoretically knit wounds or cure diseases by thinking abt it very hard#sadly the engine of course takes enormous amount of energy to power. so most of the time in practice she just#has a half-metal skeleton that doesn't do anything. so she's buff as shit on the upper side and one of her punches can break your neck#but her mobility is limited and she sprains her ankles like every other week. her shins have broken like a few times#I genuinely love the way her shoes n braces look in this one its very fun#there are a lot of choices I made in this one that are so fun and also just like. a result of putting them in space sweepers#and thinking to myself here and there hey this would be cool if it harkens back to their canon designs#not riz tho other than being human he is fully exactly like how he looks in canon. hes just like that#hes the navigator and he charts their courses by hand with a school calculator#(also technically their legal counselor since he's sorta responsible for not putting them in traffic control's hands)#drawing this does make me realise a lot of these dynamics are really fun lol. idk if Im gonna ever do anything like proper for this but#at the very least if I draw this the idea will be out there)
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this kids got issues
#I wish the body horror weird plant shit was played up more especially when vash and knives were kids#I always interpreted the wings representing strong powerful uncontrollable emotion and the wings being a biological “defense” response#with any strong emotion positive or negative#and knives has a horrible time controlling his emotions and everything he feels is explosive (bpd lol)#while vash can control and hide his emotions much better and rarely ever gets wings unless hes really fucked up#and knives would grow to wear his wings (his unstability) with pride as an attempt to take back the power always feeling like the#broken version of vash who was easier for rem to love#RANDOM ass rant but those were my thoughts abt this#trigun#rem saverem#my art#millions knives#millions knives fanart#also rem being dissmisive AS USUAL !#love herrr#knives is not the favorite child
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okay.
so it's either a very fancy very nerdy little anvil paperweight
OR
little tyelpe had a teeny tiny forge-like dollhouse made for him by feanor, who painstakingly designed every tiny detail and made all toy equipment himself because tyelpe, too young to be in forge, insisted that he absolutely needs to be a smith like his father and grandfather and needs to begin learning now.
and who was feanor to refuse his only grandson who wanted to learn his craft when he only started to walk without bumping into everything? feanor would be elated and would spend hours playing with tyelpe in his little forge. it was before the silmarils when feanor had all the time in the world for his beloved grandson.
the anvil was one of many parts of that dollhouse, one of few that made it to beleriand and the only one that made it through to the second age with celebrimbor.
he could never make himself part with it.
#yeah#nothing better than taking a look at an item appearing for like 1 second and making a heartwrenching headcanon#i love stabbing myself with angst#i headcanon that celebrimbor was very young when they left valinor#not a toddler but maybe an equivalent of 7-8 year old#old enough to understand some things but young enough to be absolutely traumatized#based on that one absolutely amazing fanart of curufin and little tyelpe where he apparently had a nightmare#and curufin says 'no one is coming to take you' and tyelpe responds with 'but they took uncle nelyo'#i saw it some 3-4 years ago and i kid you not it randomly appears in my brain just to haunt me#so he is still a child and was allowed to take some of his toys and obviously his little forge had to come with him#not all of it only some parts because there were more important things to pack#and feanor promised him they would make the missing equipment together once they settled down and were relatively safe#and then he died#and then over the years some of the toys were lost and some were broken#and then celebrimbor was no longer a child and when they had to run he packed food and clothes and weapons not his toys#but this little anvil he would snuck into his pack anyway#and against all odds the anvil made it through the first age unscathed#if there was one thing reminding him of better times it was this#somebody fucking sedate me#brainrot has taken control over my every thought literally#celebrimbor#tyelpe#telperinquar#curufin#feanor#rings of power#beleriand#valinor#first age#silmarillion
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you've never been in love..."
- Karen Singer 5x15
#destiel breaks my fucking heart#castiel saw a man broken and flayed#and rebuilt him into something whole#when did dean fall in love with cas?#when cas rebelled for him?#when cas declared their profound bond?#when dean gave cas his trenchcoat back?#when cas took on sams hallucinations?#when cas stayed by deans side while they took on dick roman?#when they reunited in purgatory?#when cas breaks free from heavens control and spares dean?#when cas says hed stand by deans side while he goes off to face amara?#when cas went with him to rescue sam?#ugh theres so many destiel moments its hard to remember all of thm#s12 onward has so many destiel moments#except for the divorce era but#spn#destiel#dean winchester#castiel
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itching to post cockwarming fic 😩
#i'm dying a week into fixing all these broken tests#someone please pat me on the head and tell me i'm doing a good job#fucking hate my jobbbbbbbb#fucking hate workingggggggggg#want to gnaw my arm off#i have done nothing but refactor the entire front-end code base 200+ files for the last month#am i a control freak or are my “full-stack” coworkers actually full of shit about their ability to stretch?
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d&d tomberly... save me..
d&d tomberly
save me d&d tomberly
#power rangers#mmpr#tomberly#d&d#fantasy au#low pressure messy ass lil doodle to get the image out of my brain#tommy's a dragonborn redemption paladin who used to work for an evil sorceress (fantasy rita) as her first knight and vengeance paladin#kim's an assassin rogue who worked for the same sorceress under a (now broken) mind control spell#they travel together as adventurers to find new purpose in the world and right the wrongs of their pasts#and eventually fall in love along the way#truly just smashing together and playing dolls with different versions of them but now tommy's a big lizard and there's dungeons/dragons#tommy was also known as ser drakkon while serving under fantasy rita#and kim was just called slayer#so it takes a while for them to get used to using their normal names instead of their old titles once they start travelling together#ill do proper designs later i just wanted to fuck around a lil bit#(the height difference is also much more significant in ''canon'' imagine kim's on an apple box idk)
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By implying that children are too stupid and rude to learn about the world and learn how the world works and how to interact with others, you are casting responsibility away from the people who are responsible for that child's upbringing and placing the blame on the children (who don't have the autonomy given to them to be allowed to decide what they want) who can't help what they do and do not learn, often.
If the children aren't okay, then investigate why before turning to thought-terminating clichés of, "Well, the kids are just stupid and dumb and aren't even worth the effort because they're lazy!"
#youth liberation#i was really bothered when i saw this clip where this person was saying almost verbatim that...#...'kids [these days] are too STUPID and they're teachers are scared!'...#...why is the blame placed on the kids who have no control over school curriculum and what their home life is like or if they have money...#...it's because when you place the blame on the people with no power or control you don't have the responsibility to change circumstances..#...you essentially keep the status quo while simultaneously belittling a group of vulnerable people...#...and thus you feed into the cyclical nature of the broken education system#the kids these days AREN'T okay but it ISN'T THEIR FAULT...#...it's the fault of late-stage capitalism and poorly-funded education and a world that wasn't even built with them in mind...#...they had NO PART in the creation of the world which is hostile to their entire existence#don't mind the incorrect usage of their in the second tag i was so focused on how pissed i was#also remember how a good chunk of these kids lived through *checks notes* the fucking PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN#which was a clown show in terms of supporting kids and their parent/s#some places handled lockdown in the US better than others but holy fuck in my area at least it was a nightmare#what do you expect from parents who are now working full-time and teaching part/full-time and parenting full-time?#what support exactly are you expecting they recieved? because you'll likely find they got either a little or NONE#hilarious that i used the wrong their in a post subtweeting about education LOL#look i was focused on how PISSED i was lol cut me some slack here
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Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.
#I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but joining this fandom made me fucking hate the word ‘redemption’#no person I’ve seen who is in love with the concept knows the who what where when why or how it should work in a story#apparently it isn’t just themes and tropes anymore people don’t understand the proper use of the word ‘villain’#kelseethe#also hilarious: Jason should recieve sensitivity training HR style from Bruce ‘I’m the government and children are my cronies’ wayne#if Jasons headstrong/‘answers to no one’ attitude towards vigilantism is what makes people think he's villainous#I hate to be a broken record but the baddie you’re describing is Bruce#nobody thinks he’s a villain for only trusting in his own methods/self and repeatedly isolating himself#and on top of that gaslighting and hurting people around him in attempts to do what HE **thinks** is the right thing#you people always thought *him* heroic not problematic for all these traits#the only difference is Jason isn’t psychologically abusive & controlling#yet he’s still the bad guy just cause he liberally kills folks in the crime business.#l'd argue goth ham war is the b*tman story to remind you of everything that makes Bruce authentically himself#Idk how to tell you that Bruce mentally compromising/crippling his son in a twisted attempt to ‘save him from himself’#is perfectly in line with slitting the same son’s throat because he couldn’t stand to see him avenge his own killer#and yk what a redemption arc could be interesting for someone like Bruce#because he rarely questions or doubts his choices esp wrt Jason. no matter how morally dubious they may be#I think it would be quite fun to witness his extremely restricted worldview be challenged/shattered he deserves that humbling experience
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serious question, are there ANY (wired) headsets made today anymore that have seperated plugs for audio and microphone??
usb ones always cause trouble and the only other ones i can find are those with combined audio+mic into one plug, which i dont have the ports on my PC for.............
i tried looking through adapters but the only ones i can find are those that combine seperate ones, id need the reverse (if thats even possible)
(visualization bc i feel like i am losing my sanity trying to explain what i mean, am i stupid? did i halluzinate the two jack/plug thing???? do only cheap garbage ones have this??? is that one of the gaming chair things??? like oh you want a GAMING headset- that means either combined or usb haHA???)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#issue being that the new headset i bought is usb only and- of course- has a background noise that probably only ppl like me hear#im super sensitive to sound#like i hear bats and dog whistles you arent meant to hear#old headset (not the broken one) has a slight static and trouble with very silent sound which it cuts out#hence i got the newer ones (the now broken one) which didnt have that problem but well .. it broke after little use#new one has a weird beeping chirping in the bg#im so tired#(new one is the razer kraken v3- its usb only and any other plugs they have for other models are the damned combined one)#my computer isnt even that old but i literally cant find a single headset with those plugs seperated when i dont have that port#will i ever find a headset that fucking works with no drawbacks????#(wireless isnt an option bc i hate wireless anything that isnt a controller you can also use wired)#i know it may sound like its not working right but i am 100% certain its one only people like me can even hear#also i got no nerves to try and send anything back to amazon ... for once i bought it there....#or am i just stupid or did i miss some shit that made it standard to just call it differently or sth#like my pc has an audio port at the front and a mic port- two ports#the plugs (jacks???????) i see are the ones that have it in ONE#and i dont have it
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It should be a legal requirement to allow people to disable the pause/play and volume controls on wired headphones, specifically from whatever device they're connected to.
#headphones#like i have a pair of decent wired in-ear headphones#and i love how they sound#but the problem is they're damaged and most of the time only one side works#and while i have a pair of bluetooth headphones they have so much lag they are unusable for gaming or watching youtube videos#to get the other side working the wires have to be in very specific positions#but whenever i rotate the cable to one of those positions it almost always fucks with the volume or skips to the next video or makes the#youtube video control stuff stay on screen and become impossible to make disappear#and my phone case it broken to the point of basically not working so my phone keeps slipping out and causing the problems again#so its basically impossible to listen to stuff with decent audio quality without massive amounts of frustration
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...❄️
#so many things bothering me as of late#some things i can't really do anything about because it's out of my control#other things i know i should be doing something about and feeling guilty for not doing it because i'm a fucking idiot and lazy and scared#and yet other things i know i should be doing something about but i don't know what and how because i'm a little broken like that#everything's so scary all at once and i'm paralysed
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get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it
it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is I should have put aerostatics not airplanes...
#I don't know how the hell to draw kim#PLEASE gib me feedback#pretend the dialogue is better this is all I can do lol. but you get the gist of it#aaa give me constructive criticism. the other post about kim secretly being a loser made me think about what his apartment would look like#and this popped in my head I had to draw it#is this in character?#there's no eyebrow battle because in my head this happens some time in the future where kim opens up a little more easily#at this point he trust him with his secrets more (but not completely. harry's not touching the blue box today)#but it's a mixture of ''maybe if I tell x he will stop asking for more'' and real trust#but like do you see that happen#it's a secret because he doesn't want other people to learn that insisting can work#like I said in the tags of the other post I think he never lets anyone in to the point of avoiding calling the plumber even if the sink#has been broken for months#addition: fuck I should have putted more machines in there. I couldn't think of anything else other than radio controlled airplane#and a sewing machine. he must have more stuff like the camera.#he'd have some dangerous thing to warm the room#and nerd stuff. I'm not sure if he'd display it or keep it boxed somewhere#disco elysium#that's a convertible couch-bed if you can't tell. half covered with the Pile#pointless microblogging#it's so hard to draw them right they look different in every official thing#believe me I have tried#idk how to put more of the skills here :/#I have achieved peak kimharry brainrot I can't go back
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Shout out to the guy who read:
"I keep trying to warn you where this will lead.
It isn't about what I want or what I think should happen, I'm not endorsing anything, let's be clear, it's about what will happen, really, it's about human nature.
This isn't about what's moral, or what's reasonable, or what you think you can stoke a divisive culture war against, it isn't about my opinion, I did not invent the nature of need, it's about what people have always done when faced with no good options, guns in their hands and staring up at the people sentencing them to suffering and death."
Interpreted it as me saying "gun violence is the appropriate solution" and then threatened me with gun violence for saying it was the solution...
And then deleted his reblog when I pointed out his lack of reading comprehension and blocked him.
Leave alone that he is exactly the kind of disillusioned right wing supporting gun toting reactionary who I was trying to point out will be the ones actually enacting the gun violence [not so much the staunch leftists who believe in the value of human life]... As has actually already been proven at least 3 times now.
I'd like to remind him that I do report people for threats of physical violence and for harassment.
And I'd like to recommend stepping away from the internet and having a nice hot bath or something every time he feels the need to try to make a nasty comment... Before he makes an ass of himself again.
I'd also like to reiterate that I am not endorsing gun violence, I am merely pointing out that this will continue to happen if we stay on this trajectory, and you can't reasonably expect another outcome.
Look at history's example.
You are fucking so deeply with human rights and everyone being able to meet their basic needs that the angry incels who used to be taking aim at women and students, are the exact group who are now looking angrily up at billionaires and politicians, having finally seen who they should be mad at [not an endorsement of them seeing gun violence as the solution], and wow I bet THEY -the largely rich white men who are 'calling the shots'- don't like it when the guns are being aimed at them instead of the women and children they can usually scapegoat...
Maybe try not to literally threaten to shoot the messenger?
I mean, I can also predict that suddenly gun reform will start to seem okay or be dropped as a main talking point by the political right once enough billionaires, CEOs, and politicians are shot/shot at... That's just me pointing out what's a near inevitability... Not me exerting some power to try to make it happen. [I have none]
I'm not the one with the gun, and I'm not the one stripping people of their basic human rights or denying their needs for survival. I have no power to tell people what to do and I have about as much influence as your average tumblr shit-poster at best. That is in fact the MOST power I have in any facet of my life. I'm just telling you what I see happening. If you think lashing out at me solves anything, you are misdirecting that energy, buddy.
#this is like when my roommates would get mad at ME for physics acting the way I said it would meaning their behaviour ended up breaking#exactly what I said continuing that behaviour would cause to break#Like I do not control the physics -OR YOUR BEHAVIOUR- and I tried to fucking warn you#how does that make this my fault because I warned you and am now the one fixing it?#What godlike control over other people and the very laws of nature do you think I have?#I'm not even claiming some kind of clairvoyance it's just all very obvious and I don't know what to tell you man#bruh#Like I told you that if you just kept shoving sink garbage down the drain so you didn't have to handle it as much to remove it#or passively letting it drain down there by not keeping the drain basket in -that the drains would get clogged and it could cause problems#with the plumbing... and now the sink doesn't drain very well and there are problems with the plumbing and you're mad at me?#the guy who's repairing it or getting it repaired at no cost and did not once nag at you that you were at fault?#not once I just looked at you straight in the eyes when you complained about the problem and all the conclusions you drew from that were#your own friend#... and then they'd continue doing the same shit because I repaired it for free once already so they didn't have to feel the consequences#because they got to just take out their frustration with the thing being broken on the guy incapable of fixing it as fast as they'd like#this anger at me makes about as much sense as that#and I have as much patience left for it#maybe try being less miserable and being less miserable to interact with#might end up with a better life and less anger to misdirect
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