#but my bff wanted to go on a camping trip with all her friends

[woahjo]

I was just camping in the desert for four days man this next shower is going to feel so glorious

[aggravatetheaxe]

Hi hello tell me about Caesar's dead wife

ty my beautiful friends :)

here is caesar's dead wife

-Legion name Drusilla Minerva; original name translates roughly to "Red-Eyed Sparrowhawk Woman"

-tan skin, auburn hair, eyes same color as hair. styled as the Daughter of Minerva much how Caesar is styled the Son of Mars

-came from a matriarchal tribe who, upon seeing what the Legion wrought, decided to join willingly despite, well, everything. their thought process was that there is a dignity in Choice, even if it is one of limited Choices, and assimilation was preferable to losing all their knowledge (i know that canonically caesar's legion is one homogeneous culture and erases all other identities but realistically this isn't how empires work so. wiggle room)

-youngest daughter of an elder and medicine woman, possesses knowledge of loads of ancient practices including blood transfusion and c-section

-despite the Legion going on and on about how you have to have a young, fertile bride, Drusilla is neither young (objective - she's caesar's same age, so like 30) nor fertile

-it was Joshua's idea for caesar to get married - citing a bunch of different reasons, not the least of which was "hey you should probably have an heir so that if you die this empire doesn't devolve into immediate chaos." caesar was like "ok but......" and never finished the sentence ("but i'm gay josh"). joshua was like don't worry king i'll handle it

read more

-selects a woman for him to court, and hey, it turns out she's actually bad as hell? she's collected, sharp, insanely intelligent (as in wisdom and learned), fanatically spiritual, with a will of iron and a withering stare that could strike any legionary down. caesar is like "she rocks actually, let's do this." but first he has to tell her he and joshua have been, like, A Thing for a long time and he's not going to stop on her account. she's like I Literally Could Not Care Less, the Business of Men Does Not Concern Me. that seals the deal

-ok ok turns out she's actually super cool and they're bffs. yeah they have sex and whatever but when they hold court? definition of a power couple. every fag must have his hag

-joshua is invited into their bed whenever he wants but he's like no :prayer_emoji: adultery is a sin :prayer_emoji: .. Dru and Caesar are like have it your way you fuckin square!!

-she and caesar and josh are the pillars upon which the legion is built. although as a woman she knows her fate is always to be overshadowed, this is something she accepts, like thousands of queens and empresses before her. she's all about protecting her own peace. she's got all the power, comfort, and privilege she could ever want, so like, whatever.

-can frequently be seen spitting venom across the dining table at officers + reminding them of the Mission of the Legion. simply does not tolerate deviation.

-for fertility reasons, she and caesar only ever have one daughter before Drusilla determined another pregnancy would kill her. she's like go ahead and get a concubine who'll give you more children, idc. caesar is like but ... then i'd have to have sex with a . with a w. with a woman. and she's like jesus christ don't be a pussy

-serving cunt at all times. jewel-tone-pilled queens only

-lives at Caesar's palace (not that one- the one in arizona lol) but frequently makes trips out to war camps, sometimes with caesar, sometimes in his stead, sometimes before or after him. she's got a sharp eye and WILL let you know if anything is out of place or if something is not being done right. she's sweeping into camp with fanfare like a goddess, walking down that line of soldiers, and telling at least one to sashay away

-she may be a Woman but the legionaries are so scared of her. and they should be

-Breasts

-enjoys long walks with her entourage, or just her with a companion (usually joshua or a handmaid)

-took a shine to Vulpes, encouraged caesar's choice not to punish him. vulpes is like *points* that's my Evil Mother

-unfortunately took ill with a respiratory illness a decade (give or take) before the game takes place and, despite her best efforts and the efforts of many other healers, was not able to recover

-when it was clear that she was on her deathbed and that the illness would be drawn out, she and caesar agreed that she should commit suicide in the Roman tradition by poisoning. compared to her illness, it was a painless and peaceful death

-caesar's still not over it. yeah he's gay, but that was his best friend in the whole world. and not long after that he lost joshua too. so as you can imagine, he is going through it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus about their child, Julia:

[pretend i drew a busty athletic blond babe here]

-Julia is in her late 20s when the game takes place

-tan, dark blond, brown eyes, very obviously caesar's child in her expressions, anchoring facial features, and even her voice. so basically, sexy as hell

-lives in Arizona at the palace, takes care of her half-brothers and -sisters (with the massive help of a bunch of servants and slaves and nurses of course - but she's who they're closest to)

-yeah she's not a man, but she's honestly probably caesar's favorite kid anyway. he's very proud of her beauty and intelligence and is almost (almost) tempted to name her his heir.

-in her ample free time, she's read all the same literature her father has, though she's come up with...slightly different interpretations of the texts. she's like hmm... the legion is kind of not doing the right thing i think? but it's hard to have views that conflict with your culture when you're literally a princess/demigoddess

-would totally vibe with Arcade i think. he'd be like finally someone half sane

-Vulpes has a big fat lesbian crush on her. thank you and goodnight

[bomberqueen17]

sewing other things

OK so. I have talked about the Loftus Bralette so much on here that one could be forgiven for chuckling gently when i said I should sew other things. But I do actually have several other projects I've been wanting to work on. And i have actually cut some of them out.

Also when I was last at the farm my niece brought me some of her t-shirts and said "I really like this one can we cut it apart and re-sew it bigger so I can still wear it", and I remembered that her BFF's mom, who works at the farm twice a week doing the books and managing store inventory, owns a serger she didn't know how to thread, so I texted her to ask if I could borrow it and indeed she had accidentally unthreaded it and there was a stuck lever and needed me to fix it anyway, and maybe I mentioned that on here but I did actually make my niece a couple of tunics while I was last at the farm. Including hand-sewing a whole bunch of details on the last one while the family was driving on a road trip one weekend.

So I brought all that stuff home with me and was hoping to get to work on it this week. All I've sewn has been the bralettes but I still have today. We'll see what I can get done.

I measured Farmkid and she's ten years old so her shape isn't the same as that of an adult woman, but she's five feet two and like 130 lbs, and some of her measurements put her in a women's size 12. So. She expressed interest in a garment I wear frequently, a Studio Tunic from Sew Liberated. I printed off the pattern in a size 12 and have assembled it, but I'm stuck deciding what fabric to use for her. I should decide that today. She's ten, her favorite color is ostensibly yellow but she mostly wears pinks and purples, she's a grubby kid who wipes her hands on her shirt and always winds up with stains on the belly of her shirt still, and she wants this tunic I think largely so she can cram her tablet into the pocket and go climb trees while listening to audiobooks on speaker. So I want a bright color but not too pale, and I want a tough fabric but not unbreathable, and I'm just. Deciding, still.

Probably what I should do is use some undyed fabric I own, and then bring my supplies and let her tie-dye it. I have a couple other things I could tie-dye, or will by then. That would be a fun bonding activity. I don't know if I'll have time to do it this trip though. So maybe I'll postpone the project and ask her for help once she's on summer break. (Good luck catching her, kids these days have so many summer camps.) As a bonus I bet I could loop her BFF and BFF's Mom in on the tie-dyeing, they're both into that shit.

Hell we could do ice-dyeing, the farm has a 1000-lb ice machine that is very frequently turned on (weekly for the market, biweekly for chicken processing-- there could be ice available at pretty much any time lol).

So anyway. I know she wants me to make a tunic out of a trio of large-print cat shirts she's outgrown, and she wants to wear it for her 5th grade moving up day ceremony, and I looked at it while I was home but I haven't done it yet. I need to get my shit together.

What I might do is print off a size 12 version of the t-shirt pattern I own, it's just that it's designed for busty women because I'm a busty woman, and she's Not, yet (oh, she will be. soon. but not yet.) so I have to kind of. Well, I own a pattern for a swing tunic that's close to what she wants actually. Oh, I should just print that one off. (The joy of the Cashmerette Club subscription patterns is that you get all the sizes, 0-30, and I've now made a couple of them for smaller friends, because like. I mean I own the pattern! PDF patterns are so great because you can reprint them in the smaller size instead of trying to trace it off. I never ever got the hang of tissue paper patterns.)

Yeah here this one, the Wexford Top/Dress, would be easy enough to kind of carve out the bust curve a little and make it fit a kid, because it's not meant to be that fitted. I'll just sort of use that as a general guideline and then make the cut-out-and-patchworked t-shirts fit into that approximate silhouette. The way I made the other tunics for her, I just used a shirt whose neck and shoulders still mostly fit her. But these cat shirts she's thoroughly outgrown, so making a new neck/shoulder area would be best.

Orrrrrr.... I could use one of the zillion old t-shirts of mine that I've saved to cut up. The neck/shoulders of a fully adult-sized garment are no longer too big for her. That's easier.

I also have a bunch of garments I want to make for myself, as I don't seem to buy clothes much anymore (I can't bring myself to pay $40 for a dress off the clearance rack that won't fit me and will mostly be polyester and won't be that interesting and will pill the first time I wash it). The Club's latest pattern is a skort/shorts/skirt dealie, and I need more shorts all the time-- I've largely given up on underpants and just wear boxer-briefs or anti-chafe shorts and I just don't see the point now of wearing a pair of panties and then shorts over the top under my skirt. Like. Just wear the shorts! So being able to choose the materials and print and look of that would be pretty great. And the Cashmerette one is inseam-less, like my favorite anti-chafe shorts are.

So I have cut out a pair of just the shorts in a clearance cotton mesh from Dharmatrading, and I even have the correct elastic for the waistband, so that kind of rules. I will sew those up as soon as I get a chance. I would like to make several skorts as well, probably from synthetic ponte or something, but my ideal would be to get some decent merino/nylon jersey and do a few from that. You never see merino skorts but I would wear the shit out of those.

I also have a lovely underpants pattern from the Club from ages ago, and while I rarely wear underpants of that style anymore, I would like having some cute matchy ones to go with the bralettes. Also, I have a shitton of foldover elastic, and I suspect I could use foldover elastic in some of the bralettes I want to make, so I want to get proficient in its use, and there are directions for applying it in the underpants directions, and it seems like a good way to practice. So I cut a muslin of those from the same cotton mesh as the shorts, and just have to sew the pieces together.

I also want to make myself more pretty dresses, and I have parts of a new Studio Tunic for myself already cut out, but not the rest.

And I recently made myself the button-up shirt from the Club, I know I posted about it on here. And I wanted to immediately make myself several more, and I got out some fabric and prepared it and cut out one pattern piece and then ran out of time. So yesterday I finally cut out the rest of the shirt from this fabric, a print from Mood covered in tiny dinosaurs. So I have that all ready to go in a plastic baggie too, just waiting for me to have time to sit and sew it. (Once I do that, I would really like to make myself a dress version of it from the cool green not-quite-seersucker I got from that remnant bolt at Promenade Fabrics in New Orleans.)

AND. i also have resolved to make my BFF, the one in Rochester who I lived with for a bit in the pandemic, with the little kids-- MM-- I am going to make her a sloper, before I see her next weekend, or maybe while I see her next weekend if i don't get to it in time argh, and I am going to at least try that on her and figure out approximately what shape she is so that I can put together a master pattern for her to make herself dresses from. I took her measurements ages ago, and she's a 14CD bust, a 16 waist, and an 8 hip in Cashmerette's sizing, and so I think just making a sloper with those sizes all graded together will be a huge start. And then we can mildly tweak the fit for her frame, and-- the thing is, she's always buying custom dresses on Etsy because what she wants is very specific and not usually available in stores, and then the dresses come and don't fit her so she has to get them tailored, and then they were just made of cheap quilting cotton from Joann's so they wear out after she washes them a few times, and she's had to add on pockets anyway because they didn't have them.

So I just feel like if I could get her a paper master pattern that fit her... heck i could even just make her dresses if *I* had the pattern. It would be easier and more efficient. I could do the basic construction and then turn over the pockets and embellishments to her, which is what she does anyway. So that's my goal there, and we'll see if I can reach it.

Anyway. If only I didn't have to work at all and could just sew all the time. I am not the first person to say this, LOL.

I have a lot of irons in the fire but at the moment am trapped under a cat so those irons are not going anywhere.

[bots-and-cons]

Just some thoughts

I'll try to get back to writing too, even though it seems tumblr ate at least one of the asks I got, though it wasn't a request. This is maybe kinda me venting again for the first time in a while. It's not really anything super-duper serious, and I'm mostly just annoyed about a hundred little things. I just love complaining on the internet lol...

If you don't want to read the rant/vent/whatever part, don't read past this

So I was at my mom's for two weeks and came back home like a week ago. The first week I was there, I was alone, since I was house/pet sitting while my mom, her husband, my two youngest siblings +some other relatives went to a cabin in the north. I didn't want to go, hence I was recruited to watch the house and cats. We had a little evening of card and board games with my two younger (but of age) brothers and my best friend, some alcohol was involved and we had in general a good time. I was also having a good time, but afterwards my BFF kept asking me if I was okay and if I was having fun. Since I drank quite a lot, I wasn't masking as much, so even though I was having a good time, there was apparently a bit of a resting bitch face situation going on with me, and by "a bit" I mean I looked like I wanted to strangle someone the whole night. Also I only slept like maybe 7 hours the previous night, which was way too little for me, so that also contributed to me being "annoyed".

It felt kinda bad that when I unmasked, even if unintentionally, it was immediately perceived as negative. It's not like this is the first time this has happened, I was always the weird kid and the whole "resting bitch face" thing has always gotten me a lot of complaints. I mask so much when I'm around other people, even family and my BFF, and when I unmask a bit or stim a little more obviously I get comments like "What are you doing?" or "Why are you acting weird?" Then I go back to trying to mask absolutely everything again and to not show any "weird behavior". It's really frustrating tbh.

Anyway, when my mom and the rest came back from the cabin, I had cleaned most of the downstairs, which is a huge fucking job because of how much stuff they have, they're all kind of hoarders. They came back in the middle of the night and when I came downstairs in the morning the kitchen had already basically exploded, and I was pretty pissed, because wtf? I kinda hoped they would be able to keep it tidy for like more than half an hour, but I apparently that was a stupid thing to expect.

My little sister had a hobbyhorse day camp thing the next week, and her best friend was also at my mom's almost the whole week. I don't like my little sister's BFF, she makes my sister act out and be stupid in general, and the friend is super entitled. Anyway, I was really stressed by Wednesday and I had a bit of a meltdown and went to cry outside while my mom was putting my youngest brother to sleep and my sister and her friend went upstairs. I was sobbing and scratching and hitting myself, because I was really fucking upset and overwhelmed. I didn't tell my mom about this, because she's stressed enough already, and I don't want to add to it.

I feel like my mom is basically a single mom most of the time, because her husband is away so much, be it because of work or because he goes to Germany for two weeks to fucking car shows. While my mom has to manage two kids alone, take my youngest brother to his summer club and my sister and her friend to their camp. It might not sound like that much, but there's a lot more I don't feel like explaining. My youngest brother is autistic and has ADHD and my mom has ADHD too, so he alone is a lot for my mom to manage. I was there for most of the time while my mom's husband was away, so she was really grateful for that. When July starts, her husband leaves for another leisure trip, and my mom has to work and figure something out for my youngest siblings, because the summer club thing ended, and they're too young to be left alone at home. My little sister can manage alone while my mom works, but I feel like she really shouldn't have to, but my sister and youngest brother CANNOT be left alone together for more than like an hour. (My youngest brother is 7 and my sister is almost 10.)

My mom can manage, but it's hard, and she doesn't get to take trips like that EVER. It's not that her husband doesn't let her, but he's very good at the whole "weaponized incompetence" thing, and I feel like my mom just feels better when she knows there's someone who's actually taking care of the kids. If she goes somewhere it's always a family trip or max one night for her alone. I feel bad for her and I try to help, but I can't really handle the kids and the mess well, so I can't be there all or even most of the time.

Again, I'm doing okay, just pretty tired. Thanks if you read, I appreaciate it :D

[starrwulfe]

Last Week Today! S2024E9

Was a busy (two) week(s) since the last one, so let’s catch up with happenings:

🎂 March 20th and 31st marks “Birthday Week” with the fam, as it’s BoyType and MonkeyGirl’s turns to celebrate getting one year older. And me and SuperWife’s time to be broke AF. BoyType wanted a miniPC for his birthday to tinker on so he combined all his loot and bought one on his own after making sure it could FortNight OK; he wanted to be able to play with his schoolmates. (Don’t tell him I was going to make sure he could play on my Xbox when he told me the first time, but this is a better way since I want him to learn to troubleshoot technology.) MonkeyGirl wanted cashola plain and simple. The big issue this time was me trying to pay lots of bills and have some cash left for our trip and then some foolishness happened that delayed me hooking her up with her gift for a few days, annoying the newly minted 11-year-old. I said, “get used to having deferred dreams for the sake of necessities, especially in this family,” which is a lesson she needs to understand as she learns how to manage money. In my own childhood, my parents were constantly using my allowance stash like a petty cash pot to cover bills and things that would come outta nowhere, so I got used to waiting well past my allowance days to “make a withdrawal;” at least until I was able to get a bank account. She’s got her own account we monitor, and a lot more scratch in it than I did when I was 11– I’m making sure it doesn’t burn a hole in her pocket now.

🎌 One of my BFFs came back home for a visit with his wife and kiddo. He’s from Atlanta, spent lots of time in Japan and both moved back at the same time in 2008. He’s still there in fact, settling down for the long haul and I had done the same until we came back in 2021 (but I’ll tell that story another day.) They wanted to know what it’s like to stay in a RV so we set BigHank up for a driveway camp for them. Other than the water pump being broken because stupid me didn’t winterize it well enough, it made a good guest house for them. So glad to see him again and catch up with everyone. Of the things I miss the most about JapanLife, kicking it with my friends is the biggest.

🤦🏾‍♂️ After our guests left, we had one day to prep for our spring break trip to Jacksonville. Thanks to the aforementioned water pump issue, we wanted to get it fixed before getting on the road, and in our haste SuperWife and I didn’t properly lock the cargo “basement” hatch. To make a long story short, our spare tire slid out of there along with a few items all just 300m up the road but by the time we noticed, of course it was gone. Who could pass up a perfectly good commercial grade tire & rim just lying on the corner of the road like that? I’ll be buying a replacement before we head on our next journey in May; until then, are there any Pick-A-Part specials for these things?

🏖 We made it to Jacksonville Beach without any troubles actually. I’ll be posting a more detailed trip report in the next few days, but here are some snaps for your consideration:

And that’s all I got, see ya next week! 👋🏾

[nothing0fnothing]

When I was like 13 my parents told me I had an opportunity to go to Ethiopia and help an impoverished community there.

I was absolutely delighted at the opportunity and asked of I could bring my best friend and was told I could. I tell her all about it and she's just as excited as I am and her parents say it sounds like a great opportunity for us. They start asking how much its going to cost. So I start to ask my parents and they won't give me a straight answer. I assume they just want to talk to her mom directly or something. So I start asking questions about what we're going to be doing and I'm not getting any real answers about that either. I'm either going to be running a summer school, building a school or apparently just walking, in the desert or something.. yeah. So I just tell my BFF it's something to do with education and we will probably be doing some minor construction and some camp councellor style activities with impoverished kids.

So the girls mom calls my mom and asks when this is supposed to be happening and my mom will not answer her question properly. Then my parents have a sit down conversation with me and start trying to talk me out of wanting to go. Telling me things like that I won't be allowed my phone, that I will have to eat local food I've never tried before and that I'll be doing back breaking physical labour all day. And I was like, yeah I'm aware that it's a foreign country I won't have consistent cell service and the food will be different and obviously I'm a 13 year old volunteer I don't think they're going to put me at risk to my health.

After that my parents won't answer any questions about the trip. When it'll take place, how we will be getting there, my friends mom wanted to know what vaccines she needed before she left and my parents just weren't answering.

Eventually I realised that this wasn't an opportunity they'd offered me in good faith, that there was never an intention to bring me and my friend on this incredibly valuable and resume enriching opportunity.

I told my friend that we weren't going anymore and I didn't know how to explain why. She thought I'd lied to her, and made it up to sound cool, so she was mad at me for a few weeks and I had no idea how to fix it. Then, maybe a month after I'd not mentioned it to my parents, the motive became clear.

There was a new narrative, a narrative that I'd been given an opportunity to help those less fortunate than me, even was lucky enough to be allowed to invite my best friend, and I was such a shallow self absorbed brat I turned down a holiday and a 2 week stay at the beautiful resort I'd be out up in because I didn't want to be separated from my phone. That my parents had seriously encouraged me and even got my friend to try to convince me and I just wouldn't budge. This narrative was spun to anyone who'd listen. Family members, family friends, youth club leaders, my music teacher and my driver, who already had a horrible opinion of me and this story just further solidified his dislike for me. And I could do nothing about that.

[lightningflash55]

.

[wavygrayvy]

Pls tell me the story of how u realized you were gay

Sure! So when I was in seventh grade, my dad’s horrible bitch of an ex (not my mom, the other one) had a cabin up in the mountains, and she said I could invite a friend to stay there with us for the weekend. Interestingly, I decided to invite the girl in the friend group I was the least close to who I’ll call Ava for the sake of the story rather my best friend. My logic was I got lots of quality one-on-one time with my bff and the other girls but rarely saw Ava outside of school unless it was the whole group, and I knew Ava and I got along because I sat next to her in math class and we’d had a sleepover once about a year before.

So Ava, my dad, the wicked bitch, and I get up to the mountains, and our first activity is going to the drive-in theater. The adults sit in the front seat of the car, and Ava and I get folding camping chairs in front of the cars. It’s October in the mountains and it’s a little chilly, so Ava wanted to keep her whole body wrapped in her blanket. So she essentially convinced me (or maybe I offered) to feed her and let her eat the snacks (cheetos and fun size twix bars) from my hands so hers could stay warm.

One of the nights we were in our room we were sharing in the cabin, and were hanging out listening to music when some of Ava’s favorite anime intros came on and she performed them for me. I admittedly more impressed than I should have been by both her singing talent in a second language but also her enthusiasm and joy as she stood on the upper level of the trundle bed smiling down at me.

Ava was really into “artsy” photography at the time. Think very generic Pinterest-y nature shots with layers of filters pre-VSCO so I’m talking iPhone photos app editing and then think about that through the lens of slightly depressed 12 year old girls. Yeah. I’ll add some of our actual photos below. Anyway, after she introduced me to this I thought it made her even cooler and we went out behind the cabin for hours taking our pictures and sharing with each other as we went.

After that we came inside to watch tv, and Ava laid her head on my shoulder like many other times that weekend. And my god did that make me feel some kind of way. (We did other stuff that weekend too like go to the local pumpkin festival, a retro ice cream shop, and this fancy rustic resort club thing Bitchy McBitch had a membership at, but those details are blurrier. Thought I’d include them though so you didn’t think I spent 2 and half days just taking shitty pictures at looking gayly at this girl.)

By the end of the weekend, Ava and I had bonded just as I had hoped. Unfortunately maybe it was too much because every time she smiled at me or laughed at my joke or touched me at all I was feeling butterflies. I remember so vividly my anxiety and fear on the ride home. Ava was asleep, my dad and (insert funny bitch joke here) were whispering about their responsibilities for the week ahead, and I sat in the backseat using the last 5% of my phone battery googling friendship quotes to try to convince myself I was feeling normal friend feelings.

After a few days at school, what I finally accepted as a crush passed. It really was just circumstancial. I think it was the combination of getting to know a cute girl who I had rapport with but wasn’t so close to that the loss of her would devastate me in isolation with the right amount of intimate (no not like that) contact. The physical contact especially so because our friend group was like anti-touchy feely. In hindsight it makes sense because a lot of us were neurodivergent and at least one was a victim of ab*se so uh both groups that sometimes get weird about hugs.

I think it was definitely for the best that I invited Ava and not my best friend at the time because after the cabin trip opened me up to my ability to have feelings for a girl, over the next few weeks I realized I had an absolutely massive crush on said best friend. Like we were 12 and I was convinced she was the love of my life. (Later found out she liked me back over a year later and I broke up with someone because I still liked her that whole time and thought we were going to do something about it but uh we didn’t and I still regret it but anyway)

Ava never found out about any of this and we just organically grew apart and I haven’t talked to or really thought about her much in 4 years. Hope she’s doing well.

So yeah that’s the story! Sorry it’s so long and sorry if it’s a bit of a mess. Didn’t sleep last night.

[rqnvindr]

may I request a scenario where reader (maybe a Karasuno manager?) is nervous about going to the Tokyo training camp and feel like they don’t fit in the rest of the managers and by the end of it they are bffs with kuroo and bokuto and having the time of her life being chaotic with them? Thank you!

name a more iconic trio than kuroo, bokuto, and y/n

–

the first few days of the tokyo training camp were rough. even as managers who didn’t play on the court, you all had to stay on your feet to make sure the boys were fed and well-taken care of and that all of the supplies for the practice matches were intact. it was just as much of a commitment as being a player on the team.

you had tried talking to some of the managers outside of karasuno and they were all nice, but you couldn’t personally connect with them. you felt bummed about not being able to form tighter bonds with the people around you and felt tense at the thought of being in this same environment for a whole week.

the rest of the camp had finally passed and it did end up feeling as uncomfortable as you had imagined it. you were just thankful that you were able to end it with a barbecue at least.

you stand by the grill, mouth watering as you eye the sizzling short ribs in front of you. they look just about ready to eat but before you could pile them onto your plate, someone else scoops them up faster than a flash. you turn to find none other than fukurodani’s spiky haired ace, showing off his newly obtained food like a trophy.

“i know, bokuto is so annoying isn’t he?” says a familiar voice that you recognize as kuroo’s, nekoma’s captain. he notices your disappointed expression and chuckles.

“if you want to get something to eat, you’re gonna have to fight him.” he grins playfully and you turn to face bokuto.

“is that so?” you take a step forward and bokuto peers at you with wide owl like eyes. you bring your tongs up, pressing them together in a challenger’s stance, making him smile confidently. “oh it is on!”

you and bokuto spend quite a long time exploiting grill to grill. or more like, he spends a lot of time exploiting grill to grill. every time you feel that you’re close to taking the meat before him, he sneaks up on you and whips every single piece up when you’re only a hair’s inch away from claiming them.

“GAH!” you exclaim. “i almost burnt my hand for that too!” bokuto laughs at your frustration. he wants to give in and offer you some of his, but he’s having too much fun with this and based on the way you laugh at your own failures and intensely watch the grill each round, you seem to be enjoying this friendly competition too.

you decide that enough is enough even though you never want this to end because it’s the most fun that you’ve had throughout the entire trip. it’s time to play a little bit dirty and get the reward that you had so deserved after being defeated by bokuto multiple times in a row.

“oh my god, bokuto-san! what’s that behind you?” he immediately turns around and before you can burst out laughing at how easy it was to fool him, you take the meat behind his back.

“WHAT??? HOW COULD YOU??” bokuto gasps upon realization of your little trickery and puts his hands in his hair. now it’s your turn to grin triumphantly at him.

“alright guys, you’ve had your fun, now could you please stay quiet so i can get tsukki over here to eat? YOU TOO KENMA!” kenma jumps and curls up into his corner even more at kuroo’s nagging. tsukishima just raises his hand and politely says that he can’t eat any more.

“ey, c’mon tsukishima-kun!” you join in on the doting of your fellow classmate. “i fought for this meat and you’re just sitting here!” he sighs, knowing that his third gym crew friends had already gotten to you and there was no going back.

“listen to your manager, tsukki!” bokuto adds, dangling a piece of his own short ribs in front of the younger boy.

“at least eat some veggies!” kuroo continues to shove his plate into his face and you chuckle at how annoyed tsukishima looks yet doesn’t bother to even try escaping. he’s completely trapped and at you guys’ mercy.

the training camp itself hadn’t been the most pleasant experience, that’s for sure. but joining in on these boys’ shenanigans has given it a whole new meaning and made you realize that you could make friends after all, even with the people you least expected.

[ikerevandotherthings]

Does anyone else have like multiple ways that the suiters get ranked? like I love all of them for different reasons. I just have several lists I want to share that are prone to change because I am still going through every ones routes :).

Best friends?

Fenrir- We both have tons of energy, eat way too much, and would most definitely end up somewhere we shouldn’t be because we got bored, would not prevent me from cliff jumping or skydiving.

Edgar- Definitely helping sneak him candy, can and will help him mess with people, we both love animals, I overshare and he doesn't share so we cancel each other out.

Luka- I love to bake he loves to cook, IDK why but I feel like he watches serial killer documentaries but so do I, He’s a sweetie and I really want to be friends with him tbh.

Kyle- Would prevent me from doing stupid things for safety or whatever, Literally seems to be a male version of myself but less hyper, I want to be a vet and he’s a doctor so we got 2 ends of the medical fields covered, 

Zero- Another sweetheart I want to be friends with, would also prevent me from dying, would go hiking and camping with me probably, I would chare my Reese’s with him and he would share his lollipops.

Please be my older brother?

Harr- He just seems to be the awkward older brother who wants to help you but doesn’t know how but you know he tries very hard and you love him for that.

Ray- He is BFF with Fenrir so you know he has a ton of energy and stupid ideas but he “controls” them better I guess, anyway would be a cool bro and I know it.

Blanc- He knows everything and you cant change my mind, I literally imagine him having all of Cradles gossip in the last 50ish years and I bet he would tell me for some carrot cake.

Edgar- Would give me unlimited candy, would help me sneak around places, would prolly help me make a cake at midnight, would be a good brother and you cant change my mind

Mousse- Definitely would eat shredded mozzarella with me at 2 am, People would find one of us sleeping where we shouldn't be and then trip on the other one, Very sleepy but would come hang out with me around cradle.

Marry me?

Sirius- Literally is husband material :)

Zero- He’s a sweetheart and I love him so so so much, cares and does let MC do her own thing but if worried will come along to make sure she is ok, I love anyone with candy tbh

Jonah- I like him a lot because he voices what he doesn’t like and what is wrong like yes PLEASE, pretty boi makes pretty husband, loyal and follows what he believes is right, LOTS OF LOVE TO SHARE

Kyle- Likes to hang out with friends (same), will let me do my own thing while he does his, might try to limit my sugar intake but its for my health, is blunt and by god do I need that

Luka- A sweetie, I love cheesy pickup lines and he would blush at them, He cooks I bake, Sleep schedule is nonexistent because we don’t need sleep :)

Rail me?

Sirius-Literally just marry me and rail me into next week for the rest of our lives, you cant convince me he doesn't know what he is doing, pretty please?, you need a break

Lancelot: Still unsure but I want him too, he knows what he is doing, prolly would do it on every piece of furniture in his room, you also need to take a break

Seth- Ok I didn’t like his route BUUUT he is hot and I want him to lock me in his room all day, KNOWS WHAT TO DO, will do it wherever he pleases which includes the kitchen and Armory.

Adult Oliver- He can get it and he knows it, works with little intricate objects all day so hands

Dum- I know absolutely nothing about you besides the tower thing and your flirty but I still want you.

Bickering buddies?

Both Adult and Child Oliver- I just want to get in a roasting battle because I think we could get this to go literally weeks, Please call me a child I will retaliate (unlike Alice), both of us are about to be upset.

Loki- I think he is funny and I would protect him with my life but I will end up arguing with him and we would end up poking fun at each other.

Dean- He just looks like we wouldn't get along too well like he failed my essay because I don't use commas and I messed up between ‘you’re’ and  ‘your’ once, besides that I know nothing about him.

Seth- I can feel us arguing about smaller things like the proper way to fold towels and us poking fun at each other,

Lancelot- More of a “Go take care of yourself before I fight you”, will argue with him quite a bit.

Fight on the spot and kill us both?

Amon

Clemence Parents

Claudius Bright

[carynsilver]

Favorite Fics: Darcy Edition

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Things started going on that hurt my soul, and I just felt like, who cares about some fic recs when people are getting hurt? But… I don’t know. I still find solace and comfort in reading stories, even when things are hard—especially when things are hard. So, I finally felt like maybe it was time for another. If the fic writers out there are giving me escape, warm fuzzies, and enjoyment during these weird times, then they deserve some love directed back at them.

So far, I’ve listed my top 10 favorite Stucky, Drarry, and Stony fics. I love them all, but… that is a lot of dudes. I decided it was time for a little girl power in my fanfic recs. One of my favorite BAMF female characters is Darcy Lewis—one of the best and most under-rated, under-explored characters in the MCU.

I love Darcy as the every-girl who has the moxie and chutzpa to hold her own in a life full of superheroes. The girl tased the God of Thunder because he was freaking her out, for goodness sake! I love her being BFFs with Jane, being Thor’s lightening sister, and creating a found family. I love her living in the tower and caring for all the superheroes and science geniuses like they won’t care for themselves. There’s enough leeway in her backstory for fun twists, too, like being Jewish, or—one of my absolute faves—secretly being the daughter of Tony Stark.

There are a ton of good Darcy fics out there, but these are my top 10. Thank you, writers, for sharing these amazing stories with us!

Casa de Island Avengers by @inkbert

I clicked on this story because of WinterShock (Darcy/Bucky), which is a favorite ship of mine (I feel my love of Bucky has been previously discussed at length, lol), but it has become one of my favorite fics of all time. Not even just in the MCU—if I were listed my top five fanfics ever read, this one is on the list.

The concept is simple—post-Ultron, the Avengers started falling apart as a team, so Steve spearheads the effort to get them all on a two-week vacation to Tony’s private island in a last-ditch bonding effort. Every character (except Thor, but he does get some good screen time) has his or her own point of view for at least a chapter or two. Sometimes, this leads to characters sounding the same, but @inkbert really grounds each character in their own backstory and makes their inner monologues sound unique. Then, so many wacky hijinks ensue—camping, drinking, movie nights, girl bonding, sailing, pranks, and the most competitive game nights and challenges you’ve ever seen.

The ships included are Darcy/Bucky, Steve/Natasha, Pepper/Tony, and Clint/Wanda, but this story isn’t only about the ships. It’s about all these crazy characters bonding—found family at its finest. This is probably my favorite Darcy/Jane BFFs story ever, and the Bruce/Tony science bro connection is classic. The story is fully seated in cannon (up through Ultron and moving to the ccmpound), except no Clint/secret family and Pietro lives. Read it. Read it now! And if you enjoy it, there are several one-shots that follow, including a Wanda-centric one that shouldn’t be missed.

Best Supporting Soulmate by Valeris

I love a good soulmate fic, and this is an excellent one. The first thing your soulmate says to you is written on your skin, and there are both romantic and platonic soulmates. Darcy has Jane as a platonic soulmate, but it’s her other soulmate who made her life crazy before she even met them. What are you supposed to do when your soulmate’s first words to you are to let them die? 

The two primary ships in this fic are Wintershock and Stony, which work well together, but the story delves into a lot more relationships. I don’t love the whole amnesia trope in a Stucky fic because losing all that history and friendship hurts so much, but in a WinterShock fic, I have a real soft spot for Darcy being able to help post-HYDRA Bucky learn how to person again, and she does that in spades in this one. She also cultivates friendships with just about everyone in Avengers Tower and beyond. Darcy/Johnny Storm BFFs are amazing, and the deep friendship Darcy develops with Tony in this story gives me all the feels. This is a great version of BAMF Darcy who can see what the tortured characters need and is able to help them get there. And there is some interesting conflict with the Fantastic Four, as well.

This was one of the first, if not the first, WinterShock stories I ever read. I had been trying TaserHawk, but it wasn’t really my cuppa, and then somehow found this one and got hooked.

Road Trip of Champions by @leftennant

Natasha and Steve are going on a road trip. Steve wants Bucky to come with, but they feel like they need a fourth to make things even. Natasha bribes Darcy into coming with, and over the course of the trip, we get a lovely WinterShock romance. The road trip concept is fun, and Darcy and Bucky have a light enemies to friends to lovers vibe going on. Bucky is recovering, Darcy isn’t going to take anyone’s crap, and Natasha and Steve really just want a little private time along the way. And the bit at the end of the main story when they play paintball—classic and a scene that has stuck in my mind long after reading many other fics. The protective vibe Bucky has for Darcy after all this and how it even affects paintball is adorable. There are other one-shots in this ’verse as well that should not be missed. You might never think of lemons the same again.

Daybreak by @anogete

Anogete has a really good touch with snarky, caretaker Darcy. I love all her WinterShock stories, but this is the one that’s stuck with me the most. The concept of Darcy trying to help dismantle Bucky’s trigger words by creating new memories for each one was so compelling. The therapy aspect did give me pause (a personal thing; it is dealt with as respectfully as possible in the story), but it all works out in the end. The fact that I loved it so much despite a mild personal ping with the concept speaks to how well it’s written, honestly. :-) And, if this one isn’t to your taste, Anogete has plenty of great WinterShock to read, so definitely try one of them instead!

The Run ’Verse by themonkeycabal

Though it eventually becomes a WinterShock story, my favorite thing about this universe is the Tony-Stark-is-Darcy’s-father trope. This is probably my absolute favorite version of that relationship. There is also time travel, and BAMF Peggy Carter. And even though I don’t love the Darcy-becomes-a-Shield-agent thing as much as Darcy the Scientist Wrangler, this story has a great, cannon-compliant reason for why Tony, Clint, etc., weren’t able to come help Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Maria in CA:tWS. There are a ton of stories in this ’verse, and I enjoyed every single one. My favorite, though, is the one where Darcy and Tony go visit Howard’s forgotten secret bunker and have three generation’s-worth of overdue conversations.

A Morbid Taste for Ice by sitehound

This is probably my favorite TaserTricks story, though I haven’t read nearly as much Darcy/Loki as I have other Darcy ships. I think it’s because writing Loki in character and making it believable to me that Darcy would fall in love with him, especially post-Avengers 1, is a fine line. If the fic apologizes too much for Loki’s wrongdoing without enough repentance/reformation, I don’t buy that she would legit be able to fall for him, but, go too far on the redemption and Loki gets OOC.

This story hits all those beats pretty perfectly and combines them with the whole Darcy/Jane/Thor (and now Loki) found family thing, Thor/Loki brother angst, Jane/Darcy BFFs, and a really compelling murder mystery to boot. There is also an interesting subplot with Loki being what basically amounts to a magical mechanic that I found really interesting amidst the snark, romance, and mystery solving. I’m sad this writer only has the one story up because it is so good!

Bygone by @inkbert

This story is Shieldshock (Steve/Darcy), not WinterShock, so even though I do try to only choose one fic per author (mostly), I’m totally fine having two by @inkbert on this list. Besides, this fic is amazing, and it’s not like there are anyone’s rules to follow on these fic rec lists but my own, lol! This is hands down my favorite ShieldShock story ever. 

Jane’s experiment goes awry and sends Darcy into the past—specifically after Bucky left for basic but before he shipped out and Steve got tapped for Project Rebirth. Darcy ends up living with Rebecca and Mrs. Barnes, and she falls head over heels in love with tiny Steve, so much so that they get married despite not knowing what the future holds for her. Then, the night before Steve is going to report to basic, Darcy blips out again, and when she blips back in, Steve is dead. The rest of the story has Darcy blipping her way through time, making friends with Howard, Peggy, and the Howling Commandos. Ultimately, though, it’s her brother/sister relationship with Tony that is the most poignant, especially by the time they catch up to the present again. And Darcy is a complete BAMF the whole time—going on missions, learning to fly anything with wings, doing anything and everything to keep her found family together. This story also gave me a plan for what I would do if I were ever shot back into a timeline like this where I couldn’t sew or cook or make a living—become a typist… genius, Darce!

Their Hearts Said by @anogete

Another Anogete story because I just can’t resist. All her stories are really good, be they WinterShock, ShieldShock, or even her really good Loki/OC fic. I would definitely suggest giving all of them a try.

This ShieldShock story is my favorite post-Infinity War tale. It picks up a few weeks after the snap, with everyone grieving and trying to figure out what to do next. Steve is barely holding it together while the remaining Avengers try to figure out what they can do. After Jane and her family disappear, Darcy heads to Avengers Tower, hoping against hope that maybe Thor knows what’s going on. Darcy and Steve start sleeping together as more of an escape from the awfulness around them than anything else, but as the team works on a plan to save the day and bring everyone back, they develop real feelings for each other. There is also time travel and I really loved the minimalist way she wrote how the day was saved in this. It balanced well with the character stuff. This story is much preferable to End Game—too bad cannon didn’t go like this!

Good Madness by Em_Jaye

Normally, I prefer my Darcy embedded within the MCU cannon. I adore that every girl keeping up with superheroes thing. But, I do enjoy a good AU on occasion, and this is one of my faves. It’s ShieldShock and kid!fic. Darcy runs a bakery that was left to her by her mother (real You’ve Got Mail tones there, but no creepy identity porn), and Steve comes in for treats on occasion. One day, he brings his daughter, and the rest is history. I love the Steve/Darcy romance in this one, and Steve’s daughter is a sweet character. I love the Full House thing Steve has going on co-raising his daughter with Bucky and Sam. And there is a nice Bucky/Natasha subplot and some really good Tony, which I would say more about except that I don’t want to spoil the surprise. My favorite story in the series is the five rules one at the end, so definitely keep going long enough for that. And if you like Em_Jaye’s writing, you should check out The Long Way Around—a Shieldshock, time travel, Endgame fix-it WIP that is excellent, as well.

One Year by @steeleholtingon

This story is WinterShieldShock. OT3s aren’t my favorite trope, but somehow with Bucky/Darcy/Steve, it works. Maybe it’s something about the boys’ history and Darcy dragging them into the future. Kind of what she does for each of them individually in WinterShock and ShieldShock, but with even more oomph. I haven’t read the whole tag, but One Year is my favorite.

Bucky’s Winter Soldier recovery has pushed both Steve and Bucky to the edge. Steve ends up leaving (at Bucky’s demand, but also because the team is afraid he’s going to do some kind of suicide via superhero duty if he doesn’t get his head on straight). The wrinkle—the night before he left, Darcy and Steve had a comforting one-night stand that resulted in two pinks lines on the test. The resulting story takes place one month at a time. Steve tries to piece himself back together and put his feelings for Bucky in the past whilst falling for Darcy over text messages. Bucky, on the other hand, realizes how he fucked it all up and vows to be there for Darcy and Steve’s baby while Steve is gone. Darcy navigates the waters of an unplanned (but wanted) pregnancy while balancing her feelings for both of them. And all the rest of the Avengers, science crew, and other Avengers-adjacent peeps support all three of them through it all. Angst, recovery, and a happy ending. So good!

So, after all that, what are you guys waiting for? Get to reading all this Darcy goodness! :-)

And now I need to figure out what fic rec list to work on next. I have a Stranger Things one (Harringrove and Mileven) almost ready to go, and then I need to decide what to do with the ships and characters that I don’t have a full top ten for. Group them together, perhaps? Bughead and LoVe might be a good combination, lol. And WinterHawk and WinterIron.

[greenflamedwriter]

Percy AU NOTES

Keith as Nico di angelo and Lance as Percy Jackson.

But Lance was never claimed so he assumed he was Hermes kid he meshed well with them.

But once Keith got claimed so did lance and then shiro their dads had some sort of rivalry.

They didn’t account for the three to fall in love with each other. After and intense mission to save medusa. For lance. Personophene for Keith and Ganymede for Shiro.

Lance is also adopted by aphrodite goddess of the sea which passes on her powers so Lance can make people listen and share secrets with him like a siren.

_________________________________________________________________________

1 Lance is really nice and open with people until he realises that both Keith and Shiro are Roman descendants and not greek so they clash a little, Keith insults greeks and Lance is offended.

2 dinner and theres a party and lance is in the middle of it trying to get the daughter of Athena (Allura) To dance with him and that’s when it happens. Shiro is claimed by zues and everyone applauds then Keith by Hades and hears other say (it was so obvious he was an emo) But then lance is claimed by poseidan and everyone just stops and stares. What?

3 Lance is mad, he was a hermes kid wasn’t he? He looked like them, he had the same jaw line and nose and they all got along so well...this had to be a mistake and why now? He blames the new kids and this is when the party Lance becomes grouchy. And Allura hates his guts because athena and poseidan are rivals

4 They get a quest (to save the victims by the abuse if the main three gods. Ganymede, Medusa with Aphrodite, Persephone)

5. Ganeymede. The boy who was stolen, raped and made into Zues personell wine waiter then demoted to a fate taxi cab telepromter. Boy he hates Shiro because who can actually hurt Zues? he is what clues them in on rape victims which narrows it down immedietly and when Lance realises that Medusa is next for him and Keith looks horrified that they're all related to rapists, but Shiro felt relieved since at the end of the day does it stop at ganeymede or will it keep going- they are giving tokens once they have won.

6. Personophene and Keith, Keith apologises since Personophene hates Hades he thought and she blinks “I’m a god, I don’t eat. Period. I knew underworld food would keep me trapped I hadn’t eaten in months and all of a sudden I’m peckish? Pul-ease.” Keith blinked confused.

“And I don’t hate you, you didn’t ask to be born. And I know Hades returns to me in the end.” Personophene brushes his cheek “You have his eyes, maybe thats why I can’t bring myself to hate you.”

8. Lance remembers his mother, and he always heard the tale of Medusa and thought it was sad. So when they go to the statues, and realise it’s people Lance keeps talking about how sorry he was and how being how she looks was to protect herself, Lance wanted to sacrifice himself and asked to let Keith and Shiro go to save kids. Medusa turns him to stone then aphrodite turns him back and medusa decides to fight against rapists and attack them instead of taking it out of posedions kids.

___________________________________________________________________________

Journey towards the west,

And save the tragic three,

Punished by thy fathers,

For their own luxary,

Succeed and save more lifes from this venture,

Remember to be calm and endure their gruelling temper.

__________________________________________________________________________

Lance hides behind a pillar panting with a cut down his cheek. Oh god he was going to die!

“Hey!”

Lance turned to see Shiro lunge forward eyes closed “If you want a fight come and get me!”

Lance gaped what?

Lance scowled and saw Shiro with the shield looking through the mirror, and froze, Shiro always fought in gladiator fights, he was always the hero the sel sacrificing idiot. And Medusa she was scorned by posidion. This was his fight.

Keith- he had no idea where he was but, he stood up from behind the pillar luckily seeing the hose pipe in the corner. He used it and yelled.

"Medusa!" He heard her move and shivered waiting for the attack.

"Lance no!"

He aimed his water and it stopped her short, only for a second "I surrender!"

"...What?" She paused and Lance took a breath keeping his eyes shut. "Medusa, I always heard stories about you, some saw it differently, that athena changed you so no man would ever hurt you ever again not in that way- but it didn't matter because men take what they want regardless of what you look like."

He was shaking his water diminishing "I may be son of posedion but I am digusted by what he did and want nothing to do with him, but if you want to take revenge against him by hurting me," he outstretched his arms "That's fine- just let the other two go- they did nothing to hurt you, you can do whatever you want to me, but please, let them go."

"Why should I listen to your pleas? When posedian and Athena never listened to mine?"

"Because you'll be no better than them, just a monster preying on someone weak for your own justification."

"I am nothing like them."

"Then let my friends go...please."

Medusa tiled her head considering "Maybe I should do to you what posediian did to me," she leaned closer the snakes hissing across his cheek and Lance trembled "Send you back to your god with the pieces left, to show him what he did to me."

"He wouldn't care, he has thousands of children in the roman camp, percy is his favourite." She growled "Percy ripped my head off and stuck in a drunk mans fridge." Lance grimaced "And if you kill everyone of posedions children it won't make a difference."

"True, but it'll make me feel better."

"Then you won't be different than your tormentors."

Silence

"You know nothing, demigod."

oops she was pissed.

"Look at that." Lance pointed, knowing in the garden and where he was guessing he was pointing at the right thing.

"What?"

"That is a child correct?"

"So?"

"Did she deserve it? Was she any different than you? Her mother or father here? Did they honestly come here to attack you-"

"Well...no- but they-"

"Please, Medusa, they are people out there that hurt others the way posedion hurt you, ones who deserve justice. But not here. Not in this garden- it's your cage."

"No it's my haven and they still come here and hurt me."

"Then why stay? No matter what people will still try to use you- don't let them. I won't speak for Athena but, giving you the power to turn people to stone with just a look before they could even get ten feet in front of you, making your lower half a snake, making your hair venoumous, Those seem like tools to me, to stop people from touching you ever again."

Lance held his head up high his body trembling.

"As a son of posedion I'll take responsibility, but posedion himself wont since he won't see he's done nothing wrong, you can't hurt him so you hurt others weaker than you."

"no."

"you're a bully medusa, if anything that's worse, because you want people to hurt as much as you but you should know better and know how it feels to be violated."

"Stop it."

Lance opened his eyes and Medusa was looking away covering her face he gaped.

"Medusa?"

He took a step forward and she hissed "Don't look at me!"

He flinched ripping his arm back "I...I am terribly sorry, Medusa. You- no one deserves that. But staying here...it's not healthy. To repeat this over and over again until another demi-god kills you?"

She still had her face covered and Lance bit his lip "Medusa? C-can I touch you?"

She didn't move until a stiff nod.

He took a hesitent stop forward then hugged her, his hands only around her stomach and felt her tremble.

"It's okay to be mad, Medusa." She was trembling "It wasn't my fault."

"No it wasn't."

She started weeping falling to the ground and Lance moved with her.

"You- you need token to go to Hades?" She asked them finally wearing her sunglasses and hijab to cover her hair, Lance nodded "If you don't mind- if not we can go that's tottally okay-"

"No, it's the least I can do and...leaving here would probably be best for me"

A/N Another thing, why would Persphone and the lotus people have tokens to get to the underworld? Like the lotus and Nico and his sister so did persophone not care or know they were there? I mean the lotus would've told her since they're bffs who's visitng perce for tea partys and Medusa? I know people think Hades/Persphone are good but there;s different sides on one hand they are like beauty and the beast on the other, perse is another rape victim. I know I didn't write this correctly.

I just tried to write it the best I can but Lance has a reason for Medusa trusting him, even though he's the son of poseidon.

___________________________________________________________________________

“Cone on Keith wheres your sense of humour!”

“Lance, no.”

Lance grabbed his arm and dragged him backwards towards the carnival with Shiro following behind. Lance pulled Keith onto every ride forced him to eat cotton candy but what stopped Keith from snapping at the kid.

Was when Lance played a shooting range gane and gave Keith a hippo.

“Only the best for the prettiest boy.”

Lance grabbed his hand and pulled Keith fir more open stalls with merchendise.

Keithseyes were shinning theough the whole trip and Shiro was able to watch it all.

Carnival leads to persophene

After Aphrodite crisis to pair the three up.

Lance jumps at the teenage girl sitting at the pool beside him, “So why don’t you try them, I know you like them.” Lance flushed “What?”

“It’s obvious, except not obvious enough for those two. Love does make a person go blind.” Lance shook his head “What no? Come between Keith and Shiro?”

She looked amused as he babbled “I can’t do that to them, they’ve been through so much.” Lance looked over to the two his eyes softening “Shiro has been hurt so many times, gladiator fights? It was compeltely barbaric and his hair is white- and Keith he’s a demon with a sword and can raise skeletons from the dead! Both are so strong but only vunerable around each other...they’re perfect for each other. When I think of Soulmates I think of them two...I hope I can find someone like them one day.”

“Like them? Why not just court them, I doubt the two would mind.”

“Making them pick each other or me? That’s stepping down.” Lance said unknowing why this stranger tried to sabotage Keith and Shiro, was she a siren? If so it wasn’t working.

She shook her head “No, it is possible to be partners with three people. I should know, Hephaestus is very accepting of who I am and who I bed with.”

“Heph- wait.” Lance’s eyes widened in shock as he looks at the golden teen properly.

She was big, round belly and thick legs and arms with golden healthy hair curling at her shoulders her face plump lips tilted into a smile as sea green eyes seemed to swirl, unnatural. God like.

She looked exactly like the painting, Venus stepping out of her sea shell.

She stroked his face “We share waters, both are lovers of the sea.” She kissed his cheek “If Gods could adopt demi-children, all of Poseidon's folk would be mine. Artemis can do it, why can’t I?”

Lance gaped “I can’t turn my back on poseidon he’ll drown me.” She smiled “What’s wrong with co-parenting? Do him proud by defending his name and waters and do me proud,” She nudged his shoulder and glancing at Keith and Shiro “By falling in love.” Lance’s eyes widened “I give my blessing, and I wouldn’t do this for a lost cause I stoke the fires for love. Never extinguishing them.” Lance blinked and she was gone.

The beautiful teenager, Aphrodite.” Lance stepped out of the pool and almost stumbled at the looks Keith and Shiro had sending his way.

“What? What’d I do?”

“What were you doing?”

Lance shrugged “Having fun at the pool what of it?”

“Why sid that girl kiss your cheek?”

Lance blinked at Keiths angry response, any other time he would’ve felt hurt but he paused at what aprodite just said, he swallowed suddenly nervous but had to ask.

“Why? You jelous?”

Keith scowled “Lets just go,” Shiro gave him a look then followed “Come on we’re on a mission.”

Lance watched the two walk away his heart twisting. Keith didnt answer his question.

Ganeymede they use their powers keith summons dinasaurs lance dives underwater to save shiro (ganeymede drowns shiro as zues cant save him)

Ganeymede “Zues is gay!?”

Both Ganeymede Keith and shiro raised an eyebrow “Ih yeah, who wasn’t gay with the greek gods.” Lance felt as if his whole life was a lie.

“I feel like I should know this as a fellow gay,”

Keith oatted his head “Your a newbie gay it’ll take a while to figure out.”

Now the weird part “We uh, this is going to blow up in our faces isnt it.”

“What?”

“Posidion, Zues, Hades?” Dont they think they’ll be mad

Thunddr lighting

You had to say it

Hades! How can you just stand there do something about your son!

Hades: i dont really care?

What!?

First nico now keith ? I dont care!

[theworldoffostering]

Friday Five

1. Had court for NB this week. It was decided that we are going to trial this year. It’s stressful to not have permanency as every foster parent will tell you. This case was supposed to be fairly cut and dry. One parent TPR’d months ago. The other parent is hanging on and pushing hard for reunification which supposedly will not happen for reasons.

2. We are on the road for a very quick trip to the Twin Cities. My college roommate/BFF lives there. Trying to figure out being safe and socially distant while still leaving the house is hella difficult. We all have masks and are not actually staying with them as we would typically do. Planning to spend time outside at the beach and in their yard. Hoping this works. We are arriving around 9pm tonight and heading home on Sunday due to teen work schedules.

3. DD is planning to live in the dorms in the fall. This feels like a disaster waiting to happen, but also, my college roommate is my best friend today and I so want her to have this life experience. Also, I’m incredibly nervous of date rape, frat parties, and drugs. Just a few things keeping me up at night these days.

4. Spent several hours yesterday cleaning out the basement. Still have days worth of work to do there, but progress for sure. Today I deep cleaned our bedroom (but still need to tackle my closet).

5. Have completely struck out on purchasing a camper/RV. Everyone wants one so there is no availability, particularly in our towing range which is 4,000ish pounds (dry weight) and need to sleep a lot of people. I’m now looking at tent camping set ups that will work for our crew.

[thy-lover]

Jason Voorhees - I still love you...

Jason meets his childhood best friend again, who he also still has a crush on....

Warnings: Smut, slightly angsty, fluff, depiction of alcohol and murder and mentions of self harm.

"We are going to camp crystal lake, dude, There's no discussion on that!" Jake yelled at his friend group who were currently fighting over where to take their summer vacation.

You walked in the living room with the beer they ordered for you to get. You passed one to Rachel who pathetically snatched it and told you to get the fuck out of her sight, just before you were going to pass on to Chad you froze upon hearing the words 'Camp Crystal Lake'.

"Hello? Earth to y/n, you were about to pass me that beer." He pointed at the beer held in your hands, that were trembling. You handed it to him but turned to Jake.

"um.... Jake I don't know if that's a good idea...." You said as your heart pumped fast.

"why? afraid of a little legend?" He smirked and helped himself to a bottle of beer.

you sat down on the side of the couch farthest away from them "No it's just, pretty much all the teens who decided to camp there gone missing, I just don't want us to see the same fate." The small girl looked down at her lap, they can't know, is all that ran threw her mind. The teens that sat on the same couch she was on went silent, what you said was true, they only shivered at the thought.

Jake laughed "oh c'mon y/n, that's all apart of the stupid legend of Jason Voorhees!" He laughed and the others shoulder Began to relax again. You shook gently, that name, the name that made your heart clench. The name that made you hurt inside.

"There is a legend around camp crystal lake, there was a kid who was drowned in the lake because the counselors killed him. When his mom came back, she was so mad she killed the counselors but got murdered herself. Due to this the vengeful spirit of the kid came back to life and kills anyone who comes on the camp!" He definitely scared his friends, but you just shook rocking back an forth. Y/n knew the real story.

the next day they forced you to go on the trip with them, but you didn't want to, camp crystal lake was supposed to be forgotten about in your mind.

You glanced down at your clothing "baby blue, his favorite color.." you smiled gently.

"huh?" Jake said not hearing you he turned to look at you "damn y/n, you look fuckin hot cant wait to get there." Jake gave you a disgusting smirk.

The moment you arrived at the camp you weren't sure what to do, the sign that said 'Camp Crystal Lake' was just how you remembered it, if you look past the paint that is slowing chipping away. All the sudden a suppressed flash back hit you.

- The young girls head was out of the car, waiting for that yellow 'Camp Crystal Lake' sign to appear, she grinned widely and hoped out of the car and running to her best friend "Jason! Jason!" Screamed an overly excited little girl who was around the age of six. "Y/n!!" The young boy who was around seven yelled back. They met in the middle and embraced each other in a tight hug, jumping up and down.

"Jason I missed you so–" she was cut of.

"y/n you forgot your bag!" The young girls mother screamed from the window if the car.

"hold on mommy, I'm talking to Jason!" The girl screamed back, a older woman came walking towards the two of you, her shoes picking a little bit if the forest floor up.

"y/n!? You've gotten taller since the last time we talked." The woman smiled as she embraced her son's bestfriend in her arms.

"it's only been 4 months Pammy." The young girl smiled up at her.

"Y/N! HERE! NOW! I HAVE TO GET TO WORK!" The screams of her mother calling from the car.

- flashback ends

You hoped out of the car walking past the old crystal lake sign and into the area where her friends are, Chad's in the middle of talking his jeans off, revealing his bare ass because he had no underwear. The moment this happened you turned away quickly.

"Join us y/n!" Jake yelled towards you but you shook your head an walked away. "I'll set up the fire, you guys can continue, well, doing whatever it is you're doing..." You said waving your hands in the air.

Jason's P.O.V

'y/n' Jason thought as he watched the woman in a blue dress, he knew you, and even as he watched the woman's frame go back into the suv he madly hoped you were her, you were 'y/n' , his savior, his protector, his crush.... Just then a flashback came back to his head.

-

"Hey assholes leave him alone now!" The girl yelled to Jason's bullies.

The boy who kicked Jason now stood facing you he smirked "yea and what the hell are you going to do about it monster lover!" He taunted the girl. 'monster lover, that's what they called her for being Jason's friend.'

Her smooth hands curled into a fist, "Your the monster here John!" The young girl yelled.

"oh shut up and go play with your dolls!" The bully yelled back at her and all the other kids around him laughed at her.

A flash of rage came over the girl who Jason had the biggest crush on, the girl picked up a small rock and hurdled it at the older boy who was bullying Jason, the stone hit right on the center of his forhead. He fell over and started crying like a baby. She took the chance and ran to Jason grabbing his arm and running away from the other kids.

She ran until she was far enough to be out of sight. And she hid behind a big tall tree, the tree they made a 'blood oath' at.

Jason panted sitting on the forest floor letting his back lean on the tree.

"thank you y/n, you saved me again." Jason beamed up at her. She smiled down at the sitting boy, Jason took a moment to admire her smile. Everything about her to him was perfect. Her pretty smile her big e/c eyes, he just loved her even though he was way to young to understand what love was he knew he felt something for her that was strong.

"anytime Jason, those guys a cowards. " She said grabbing his hands and holding him tightly. He blushed at her and she smiled at his cuteness.

"you are to cute jae." he blushed even harder but his gaze left her when he heard the counselors. they peaked there heads out from either side of the tree and seeing the counselors crouching down at the boy who was clutching his head.

"we sure got him didn't we Jason?" He nodded and chuckled.

-flash back ends

How could she have thought I was cute.

3rd person p.o.v

Y/n walked towards the suv and pulled out a bouquet of Lily's and sunflower. She looked down at the flowers and smiled sadly.

She closed the door and walked away from the group further in the woods. After walking for a little while she stumbled on the big oak tree, each day her and Jason would wrap there arms to the tree to see if they're arms grew. She chuckled at the memory.

She kneeled down to the roots of the tree and laid the flowers down, if you looked very closely at the bottom of the tree you can see two small smudges of blood overlapping each other and above it there are letters that are carved into it sloppily "Jason and y/n bff forever" she smiled again at it, this was apparently what her younger self considered a blood oath.

"Pamela Voorhees, it's been a while since I said that name aloud hasn't it?" Y/n chuckled. "I brought you Lily's Ms. Voorhees, I know they're your favorite." She said looking up at the sky which sh hopes is where Pamela is.

A loud cry broke out from her mouth "a-and I brought s-sunflowers J-ja-jason's favorite..." Jason the name of her crush, Jason the name of the boy she loved, Jason the name of the boy who drowned.

"I'm so so s-sorry I wasn't there f-for you jae, I could've tried to save you....if my mom hadn't taken me on that business trip then maybe I could've been here to protect y-you!" The cries from the woman became louder. "I'm sorry jae, it was all my fault that I left, maybe I could've save you.... I thought that maybe if I came just one more time I could finally forgive myself for leaving you... I could finally live with the fact that you're gone....I could finally love myself but I was wrong!" Y/n sniffled.

"goodbye Jason, I'll love you forever..." She leant her lips down and kisses the harsh etching that had Jason's name on it.

Y/n cried there a little longer before she heard scream. She picked her head up a little and sniffled, the girl got on her feet and ran towards the screams.

The moment y/n got back to the camp she saw nothing but blood everywhere and her 'friends' all dead, she stumbled on her feet backing away from the scene, she was about to scream but a large hand wrapped around her mouth and she was pressed against a strong chest.

Y/n fought the hold of the stranger not wanting to have the same fate as her acquaintances. That was until she saw a bloody knife raised to her, she immediately blacked out.

...

The next time y/n woke up she was in an old bed in one of the cabins. Her eyesight was dizzy but it finally focused and she looked around the room, the moment she realized where she was she put a hand over her mouth.

"Jason's bedroom..." The moment the words fell from her lips she screamed out a loud cry, maybe if she dies know she can finally be with Jason. The moment ended at that thought the door was swung open and a large man in a hockey mask looked around the room quickly, when his eyes landed on you he calmed and took a step closer.

You couldn't believe how tall he was, his head was basically touching the cabins roof, his large frame was covered in jeans and a jacket, his feet were in boots that looked like it didn't fit him.

He tried to take another step toward you but you backed up in fear "w-who are you?" You said weekly.

He only took another step closer "please don't kill me!" You cried out to the man who was already right at the bed side because of his long strides.

As you cried all he did was pick his hand up to your face and palm your tear stained cheek.

"please tell me who you are?" You asked trying to move his hand but failing. He took his hand off from your cheek and pointed towards the headboard that had the word "Jason V." Into the hard oak.

"Jason V?" You sniffled, he nodded eagerly ready for you to realize who he was.

"I'm sorry but I dont know who you are mr...please just let me go I won't tell anyone." He huffed then pulled out his machete, you shrieked and closed your eyes ready to die, but instead of the machete impaling your stomach, you heard carving near your ear.

You opened your eyes and realised he was scratching something in the headboard.

Once he finished he urged you to look at it, "V-Voor-hees? ... Jason Voorhees?" Your eyes widened in shock and he nodded eagerly.

"no...no Jason drowned to death, that's impossible!" You said unable to believe what he was saying, all he did was stiffen and shake his head signaling a no.

"Fine prove it!?" You yell, it was cruel for someone to mess with others mind.

He pulled his sleeve up revealing the name "y/n" carved on his wrists. A gasp slipped from your lips, you pulled your own sleeve up and on your wrist there was a scar that wrote "Jason".

You looked into his eyes seeing desperation and hurt, "is it.. is it really you?" You whispered.

Jason nodded grabbing a hold of your hand, you reluctantly held back feeling his rough large hands, the moment you held his had you felt a shock run from each other's finger tips. It was the same feeling you felt when you first held Jason's hand when you two were younger.

"it's really you!" Catching Jason by surprise you jumped up and hugged him tightly, it took him a while to get used to your touch but he returned the hug by picking you up and swinging you around in the air.

You laughed with a mixture of happy tears, this was the reunion that Jason only thought about in his dreams, but this was real and he knew it.

He set you down on the cabin floor gently.

"look at you Jason.." you smiled at him just then Jason felt his insecurities come back, 'did you not like him anymore.'

"all grown up into a big strong man, so handsome just as I remember you." He blushed at you, this what he remembers about you, you always knew what to say and you always boosted his confidence.

He looked down at you and his un beating heart stopped, this whole time he forgot to admire you. Your hair was a beautiful flowing h/c it was a little bit darker than he remembered it to be. Your body filled out into a very beautiful women. He subconsciously let his eyes fall to your breasts which definitely got larger, his eyes followed to the curves of your hips, your ass being hugged by the blue dress. he looked at your face to admire it. Beautiful e/c eyes, beautiful plump pink lips, your entire facial structure was amazing. Sometimes he wonders what you saw in him, your beauty couldn't compare to the entire world, and that was a fact. He felt something inside him warm up, as he looked at your body.

"we have a lot of talking to do." You dragged him to the kitchen and started up the questioning.

As you cleaned your childhood home starting from the kitchen, to its floors to the bathroom, to the bedrooms to the porch, he followed you everywhere writing answers down on the notebook you gave him. He wrote how hes still alive, he wrote why he kills, he wrote what really happened to him an he wrote everything you didn't know down.

When the questioning was all done you sat him down in the kitchen and cleaned him up, he was super dirty and then you urged him to the shower to get off all the dirt in crevasses you knew were to embarressing to clean yourself. You took his laundry and put it in the hamper for tomorrows laundry.

When you came back he had a fluffy towel wrapped around his waist, the towel was way to small for someone of his size.

"hey jae so I was wondering-" you looked up and your breath was caught in your throat.

There Jason was, your childhood crush standing in front of you with just a towel around his waist, his muscular arms were big, his thick and strong thighs were dripping with water and his muscular core was ripped.

You blushed hard and slowly walked backwards only to bump into the bathroom door closing it.

You immediately turned around and tried to open the door, your hands were shaking and sweating it didn't help that there was steam from the hot shower Jason took on the knob.

"well i- uh I was j-just go-going to uh-" Jason took a step forward and held you by the waist bring him close to you, his large hand wrapped around the door handle, once the door was opened you freed from his grip.

You internally screamed at yourself as you practically ran to your old spare bedroom.

As you walked in you slammed the door, but instead of hearing the door slam you just heard it creek. You turned around slowly and realized Jason was walking towards you.

Jason looked at your red face with worry 'is y/n sick? Is y/n hurt? Is y/n scared' he didn't understand why you were acting like this.

"j-jason hi um..." As he took a step forward you took a step back.

"s-sorry if yo-your looking f-for your c-clothes I um I put t-them in the h-hamper so I could w-wash them." Your face literally couldn't get redder like It was physically impossible.

You took a step back as he took another step closer. Not realizing you were at your bed it bent your knees and made you fall over, because of how low the bed was it made you think you were falling to the floor.

Out of instinct you reached out and grabbed the first thing you felt, you hit the bed with a shriek but proped yourself up you looked into your hand 'a towel?' you thought to yourself but looked up to see where you got it from.

There in front of you was Jason Voorhees, your childhood crush completely naked with his cock erect Infront of your face. Even Jason looked down at his own cock thinking 'oh was that the strange feeling I felt?' he seemed to not fully understand why this was inappropriate.

'oh my gosh he's big, oh my gosh he's big, oh my gosh he's big!' your mouth watered a bit, before you knew it you were on your heels running out your bedroom door "DINNERS READY!!" You yelled making your way to the kitchen.

You fixed the table with the homecook meals and Jason joined and helped you, you ate in silence but it was akward on your part.

You started to gather the dishes and wash them, Jason stood by you and dried the wet plates and bowls, the incident almost completely slipping your mind.

Just then you accidentally knocked a thick mug over with your elbow. You bent down to grab it but it rolled under the counter having you bend even more.

He turned around and looked down at you, because of what you were wearing which was just and oversized teacher. The shirt hiked up a bit, revealing the curvature of your ass and in the middle of your soft cheeks there was your pussy peaking out from Inbetween. Jason eyed the lips of your pussy talking in the way it glistened or how it naturally clenched whenever you made a move, out of pure curiosity Jason touched it......yep.

The moment his cold calloused finger touch the small opening of your vagina you let out a loud moan, that sounded like a pornstar moan.

The moment that noise hit Jason's ears something in him snapped, it fueled a feeling that made his already erect cock twitch. But the thing was he had no idea why he was feeling stuff in his groin, he's never had a use for it because he's dead. But all the sudden you came back and his cock has been aching ever since.

But the moment the sound hit his ears he compared It to the adrenaline he felt when his victims scream, only this time it was a moan, and he didn't have to kill to hear it.

You jolted up in embarresment, you thought he was just curious but that didn't stop your pussy from remembering the feeling. You ran to your old room abandoning the dishes in the soapy water, you bit your lip hoping this didn't ruin your little reunion with him.

Unbeknownst to you Jason was right behind your small frame with hunger in his eyes.

He threw you onto the bed and you shrieked.

"Jason im-im really so...Jason what are you doing?" You asked watching him take his long thick cock out of the confines of his pants. He took his shirt off along with his pants and stared down at you intensly.

You squeezed your legs closed tightly as he crawled to the bottom of your bed. He brought his two hands up and roughly pulled your legs apart, he looked down at your pussy and realized it was wetter than before. You moaned as the cold air hit your glistening lips.

A finger slid up and down your pussy not exactly entering just sliding, it was just what you needed to jolt up and grab a hold of his shoulder.

"Jason, what, what are you doing!?" You asked a little louder than needed so he got up with a whine thinking you were mad at him.

"no, no Jason its okay..but do you understand what your doing?" You ask gently.

He shook his head revealing a no.

"Jason I'm..I'm going to be really strait forward with this....when- well when you touch that female....part it's insinuating...that..well that you want to have sex..." You knew how Jason's mom always told Jason sex was bad and only good when there is commitment, when there's love or when there's marriage.

Jason grew stiff he remembered his mom telling him that, but he also remembered his mom telling him 'jason as long as you love, then everything is alright.'

Jason loved you, he's always loved you, he still loves you, he always will. You came back to him so you must love him to right?

He stepped forward he held his hand towards his heart and then held his hand to you.

"heart me?" You questioned.

He nodded eagerly "you heart me? ...........you love me?" Your eyes widened as he nodded once again being shy, the moment of silence filled his heart with rejection, making him back up.

Until you jumped on him "I love you too jae." You gently lifted his mask just enough to reveal his lips, slowly you brought yours to his. He wasn't sure why he was breathing so hard even though he didn't need to breath.

Finally he kissed back not sure what to do he just started doing what you were doing. So he moved his lips, a shock went down his spine something told him he needed more.

He grabbed your waist and picked you up so your height matched his, you wrapped your legs around his waist, your unclothed pussy rubbing against his jeans.

You moaned into the kiss before pulling away. You looked in his eyes and cupped his cheek, slowly but surely you took off his mask, smiling at the face of slight deformities.

He tried to shy away only for you to make him look at you "your still as handsome as I remember jae" he cracks a shy smile before kissing you again. You hop off of him and lead him towards the bed pushing him down on it. You crawled on top of him and slowly undid his belt and pulled off his jeans leaving his cock sprung out. He bit his lips as your mouth hovered over the tip, you lowered your mouth and gently sucked on his tip.

"Poor baby, had to suffer with this aching cock, I'll fix it baby just be a goo d boy and lay down." He did as told his cock twitching at the praise.

You sucked on the tip bringing your hand to message his balls. A loud moan came out of his mouth and he threw his head back, you smirked and took his fat cock deeper and deeper in your mouth, his mouns growing louder and his hip snapping into your mouth uncontrollably. You moaned at the sight of his strong heaving chest growing, this sent rumbles to come out of Jason's mouth. Soon he had a bright white stream flowing out of his tip. He looked down in pure ecstasy, and found you swallowing each drop of cum like you were starving. His erection grew once again as you stood up and took off the only thing you had on.

Jason looked at you with his cock upright again. Your tits bounced gently and your ass jiggled with your movements, you crawled on top of Jason hands planted on his chest.

"you were such a good boy Jason, your So good for me aren't you? My sweet boy." He let out a groan as he looked into your eyes "you tasted to good.." he thrust up at that only to be met with nothing he whimpered. "You deserve a reward for being so good don't you?" He nodded quickly.

You smiled "okay jae, just go along with this okay jason? I'll tell you when to move." You picked up his hard cock and lined it up with your entrance, as you slowly sat down on him you could feel him getting ready to move but he restrained himself due to your order.

Once you sat fully on him and adjusted to his size, you moaned "move jae." He did just that snapping his hips into your cunt harshly. Your moans were constant and your head collapsed to his shoulder. "Oh gosh Jason your so good, just like that please just like that." Each thrust was hitting further than just your g spot.

He groaned more and more knowing he was going to release himself.

"jae your fucking me so good I'm going to cum!!!" Just then your walls tightened around his cock and he made this animal like roar when you got tighter, he shot his load deep within you and he slowed his thrust down.

You collapsed atop him and he flung his strong arms around you holding you close to his heaving chest.

"want to know something jae?" He nodded "when me and you were kids I had the BIGGEST crush on you." His eyes widened and he looked at your sleepy face. You chuckled at him "but I didnt tell you cause I didnt think you liked me.... Guess I was wrong huh?" You smiled up at him, he only nodded, happy that your feelings were reciprocated.

"I'll see you tomorrow Jason....I still love you....."

[what-a-messsss]

1x10 rewatch

Ok, let’s get back to Walt Longmire: Disaster Boi of S1 and finish this season off with a...something.  Pleading look to the heavens, maybe?  

How do I keep forgetting that Lizzie is a thing, even after our decision to find her some nice Smitten Cowboy to be with?  Holy hell, but why are you still keeping your dead wife’s ashes in the kitchen?  At least you kept Lucian in your fucking truck.  In a coffee can.  What is with you and breakfast beverages??  We all know you need lots of therapy, but this seems like a kind of niche issue.

“Trust me, you don’t, uh, you don’t want that tea.”  Buddy.  

Poor Lizzie.  She really is so nice.  And he’s such a fucking disaster.  “You seem weird,” she says, in reaction to him going bug eyed from having to convince her not to drink his dead wife without her realizing that’s what he was doing.  Sweetie, you have no idea.  And she really does like him.  

This is.  So.  Gloriously awkward.  And Lizzie’s there in her bare feet.  And all we need is for Branch to show up and we’ll have a full house, and aaaaahahaha, Walt is so trying to freeze time with the power of his brain.  Staring off into the Not Here place with his mouth pressed just so...  Awwwww, suffer.

I had forgotten that Ferg was the one who actually did the body work on the Bronco!  Even did the paint work, because that old truck has never looked so good.  I know Omar loaned Walt his truck while the Bronco was “in the shop,” but I like that the writers gave Ferg the skills to do that.

“If anybody... has something they want to say, I suggest you think twice about it.”  We don’t need to say anything; we’re too busy laughing at you.

Oof, and then Lizzie hearing Martha’s voice still on the message greeting.  She’s really quite a good actress.  Lizzie isn’t a terribly subtle character generally, but she gives her these really fine microexpressions that give you occasional glimpses that there is more going on under the surface, and she’s not just an open book.  : (  Making me actually like her and feel bad, not just cringe when she comes on.  Dang iiiiiiiit.

Ok, that does NOT look like Sharpie.  I’m sorry, but that looks like a paint pen or lipstick more than it looks like a Shapie on the dead kid’s forehead.  Even if it were one of the jumbo Sharpies, they don’t write like that, they aren’t that colour on skin, and the thickness of the lines are all off.  Which is not really relevant, but it buuuuugs meeeee.  Pedantic little shit that I am.

Ope, Branch is basically past the angst about Walt not liking him and straight into just giving him nothing but attitude.  Which, while I can hardly blame anyone for giving Walt shit, does get old pretty fast.

Walt, you are So Bad at talking to people, even when it’s for the damn job!  Yeah, it’s fine to have Ferg fill Vic in, but at least acknowledge that she’s there, damn.  Honestly it would have been good for both Vic and Ferg for Walt to tell her to follow Ferg’s lead on this one.  He knows the case, the local history, the players, the situation, and probably more about archery than her, and she could stand to take the reminder that working 5 years in big city homicide still doesn’t make her the senior deputy and that she needs to be ok learning from even Ferg.  Shit, I keep finding more and more reasons to be annoyed at Walt.  Is he even really that good of a sheriff?  I’m shaking the ol’ Magic 8 Ball here, and signs point to frickin’ NO.  Ugh.

Five HUNDRED dollars says that he didn’t check with Mathias before going on the Rez for official police business again.  Jackass.

Can’t really blame Viho for being super bitter.  And Ayasha is so sweet.  This whole family dynamic is so well done.

Aw, Ferg is so excited about the gum wrapper.  “Still minty!”  How are you such a sparklebunny?  Bless.

Detective Falessssss.  His opening line is so great, but uuuuuuuhg, he’s as bad as Walt with his singlemindedness about the case.  

“Talk to Ruby.  She runs my life.”  She runs the department, bucko, and you’d be lost without her!  Lost, I say!  But you treat her like your personal social secretary, and that’s crap.

In Fales’ dubious defense, you were just super weird about that whole encounter.  

Omar!  You creepy little lecherous jackass.  Why am I still fond of you?  It’s really rather galling that I enjoy your character at all, but I doooo.  Thank gods he has the beard now; cleanshaven was just wigging me out.  “Vickie’s never shot before--”  “That is the second-to-last time you will ever call me that.”  And I chortle myself to distraction to the point that I have to rewind to catch the lines that I missed.  With her horrible plans when she gets drunk (I’m still cringing at that flashback of her with Travis) and her obvious thing for older men, I’m honestly kind of surprised she didn’t end up having a deeply regretted something with Omar at some point.  They do have good chemistry in an antagonistic way.  And he does so enjoy tugging her pigtails.  ...ew.  Why is my brain like this?  

“A little bit of practice, even a girl can make that shot.”  Aaaaaaand we’re back to kick him in the nuts.  Not that we ever really left there.  Such a butthead.

Boy oh boy, it sure is great the tone that all these shitty rich white people take saying “Indian.”

“That is what a normal person would do in your situation.”  Henryyyyyy, I love you so much.  Why can’t we spend more time with him in the early seasons?  Why are you drinking a Rainier?  Nooooo, please have better taste in beer than your boyfriend!  You have expensive tastes in bourbon, why can’t you have decent taste in beeeer?

Walt, what is the point of practicing darts when you are FIVE FEET from the board?  Seriously, you’re supposed to be like...  (a google later)  7 feet 9.25 inches away!  That’s...  That’s an oddly specific measurement.  Wtf.  No quickly apparent reason for that specific measure.  Resisting the pull of this particular rabbit hole to continue the ep.  

Aaaah, that’s right, this is still when Walt thinks that Henry may have killed the guy for him.  And BestDad Henry talked to Cady after the blow up about Branch, and he is a wonderful human being.  “It’s really none of your concern.”  Hoooooow dare you.  It is clearly a function of being bffs with that butthead that Henry just smiles (somewhat bitterly) at this instead of tripping him into the bar or shoving his head into the cigarette machine.  (Is that a cigarette machine?  Wtf is that thing with the yellow lit up portion towards the top? [14:05])  

“What a rich inner life you must lead.  From time to time, you should consider sharing some of it with the rest of us.”  The sass!  Swoon.  Henry.  Marry me.  

“I’ve got other problems.”  Buddy, you are other problems.

I wonder how many people/places Ruby just has on speed dial so that she can zoom through her list of “Where the hell is Walt now” to get in touch with him.

Aaaaand we’re back to Branch getting a bit big for his britches.  Whee.  Better fight about it like Big Boys.  Ffs.  “Go ahead.  Give me your best shot.”  ::Pat Benatar starts playing in the background::  Oh holy shit, I wish so damn much that I had any know-how about making vids.  I would be beyond amused by a spoofy hate vid of Walt and Branch being assholes to “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.”  Ooo, oo, or “Hit Me Baby One More Time!”  Aaaahahaha, these fucking losers and their fragile masculinity.  Get rekt.

Children.  Childreeeeen.  Stop it, or you can’t go to Timmy’s birthday party next week.

The irony of Vic being the one who is actually calling them on their shit and getting to do their damn jobs.  Well shit, they actually have a warrant this time.  Will wonders never cease.

Damn, Viho is smart.  Politically savy, pointing out the election coming up.  He’s got the wrong end of the stick this time, but the fact that he’s seen these angles and considered a bunch of things about the consequences already is telling about how smart he is.

Ruby is so pleased to see Henry.  She sounds tired (dealing with Walt and Branch and the sheer volume of bs that is accumulating in that office, no wonder) but still fond.  And the look she gives him.  I love her so much.  She puts up with so much.  And I love Henry continually calling Walt and the department on their shit and just being a dedicated activist for his community.

Fuck right off, Branch.  “Woah.  I know you’re Walt’s friend, Henry, but you don’t have any particular rights here.”  You are sliding into being a full on trashbag of a human being so fast, Brancheroo.  Reminding a young man of his rights and helping him avoid getting railroaded by your biased ass isn’t a bad thing, you rusty wingnut.

Ok, it might not be Glasses!Henry, but cowboy boots!Henry with the glow of righteousness upon him is also quite A Look.

Aaaaahahaha, for once Vic’s unholy yelling saves the day.  Being able to shout over a mass of raucous teens is usually reserved for teachers, camp counselors, and stage managers.  Looool and using detention as the threat.  And then jail.  Heeeh.

This is soooo weeeeeird: I’m starting to genuinely like Lizzie.  She just showed up and I remembered that it’s for dropping off that present, and then Vic is such a butt about it, and this poor lady is just trying to date a guy that she really likes and even gave him about 5 different outs that morning and he pointedly didn’t take any of them and dammit, Lizzie deserves better, too.  Fuck, Walt, you are such a disaster zone.  And Vic is a whole other disaster area that’s looking to, uhhhh, share a border.  Yike.

The present is definitely more Lizzie than it is Walt, with the wrapping and everything, but it’s still a sweet impulse.  AND THEN VIC, who told Walt how many times that he should call her?? gets all up in her business?  Poor Lizzie trying to figure out what the fuck this has to do with Vic or how it is even on the same planet as any of her business.  She does have some issues from her previous marriage, but she owns them.  And her BS meter is actually pretty finely tuned.  Sure picks up on Vic’s awkward boner for Walt in no time flat.  Not that it’s particularly well hidden, damn.

This kid is a rapist and a murderer and The Bad Guy, but at the same time, he is a high school kid, chances are he’s a minor, and Walt is talking to him alone in his office without any parent, much less a lawyer.  What the fuck.  

“Because Ayasha Roundstone told me so,” is a good line, solidly so.  And Walt’s all in The Righteous Hand of Justice mode or whatever, with the gravelly voice and standing over the kid, staring him down.  Effective.  (But where are that kid’s parents?)  Ah, that’s right, his dad is taking a shot at whatshisnoodle to make it look like he’s the killer.

Awww, Cady.  Honey, how long have you been waiting for you FailDad to show up?  Fuck.  Right.  This was how she found out that Martha was murdered.  He lies to her so much.  He manipulates her so much.  He passes all of this off on it being Martha’s wish, but he even acknowledges that Cady had a right to know and he chose not to tell her.  He denies Cady her own agency again and again.  He makes decisions for her without ever giving her a chance to choose for herself, and punishes her when she makes a choice that he doesn’t agree with.

It’s not “protecting” her from the pain.  “Protecting you from the pain,” is not a father’s job; it’s to teach their child how to manage it, help them live through it, and how to grow past it.  You’re damaging her.  Into the suuuuuuun, Walt!  Into the fucking SUN.

But fuuuuuuuuuuuck, her delivery of that same line, “Well, let me relieve you of that burden,” is sooo good.  You done fucked up, buster.  And you just keep fucking up.  I would say in new and exciting ways, but it’s generally in the SAME DAMN WAYS, dammit Walt.

This flashback is really difficult.  

They’re right about that technically being kidnapping, too.  Wyoming  § 6-2-201 specifically includes defining kidnapping as unlawfully confining another person, with the intent to “facilitate the commission of a felony; or Inflict bodily injury on or to terrorize the victim or another,” with unlawful confinement defined as “accomplished (i)  By force, threat or deception; or (ii)  Without the consent of a parent, guardian or other person responsible for the general supervision of an individual who is under the age of fourteen (14) or who is adjudicated incompetent.”  Meaning that not only could Walt charge Jake with the kidnapping of Rich, but also probably of Ayasha, since she was ruled an unreliable witness and would more than likely be legally considered a “mentally incompetent person” according to the states’ legal definitions.  

Not... that I have the Wyoming State Criminal Code downloaded on my computer.  >_> Certainly haven’t skimmed about 80% of it trying to figure out what charges would most make sense to be levied against Jacob at the end so that I don’t have to deal with him going in to a Federal prison on RICO charges.  <_<  Or what Cady probably should have been charged with after that mess with Tate and Catori.  Nnnnnnope.  Sure don’t, didn’t, haven’t. o_o

This is about the only time I can remember there being a legitimate reason for Walt not to have backup.  Since they’re off checking other locations.  Also, damn, that was some classic Old West quickdraw shit, Walt!  Noice!

“Why did you stop me?”  Because you have to testify, you little shit.  HE is not terribly bright.

Ooooooo, somehow I forgot that it was Branch who went to Jacob.  But that makes total sense; I can’t really see Jacob seeking Branch out, but once he walks himself into his office, Jacob will certainly play those new cards for all they’re worth.  Ooooooooo, and the Hotamétaneo’o headdress!  I’d forgotten about Branch seeing it, too!  Nice call back and foreshadowing to finish off S1!

“You will not find a chili cheeseburger of this caliber anywhere in Colorado.”  And now it’s 4:30 in the morning and I want a chili cheeseburger.  Thanks, babe.   Some daaaaaay, I will figure out which is my favourite Henry, but it is not this day, because godsdaaaaamn, the red checked shirt with that vessssst, is *chef kiss* a wonderful thing.   And the director knoooooows it = that pan down Henry’s back as he turns after saying, “I said nothing,” for noooo reason other than to have Henry’s ass on screen.  Seriously.  He says his line, it pans down, we get a primo shot of his jeans, and then it cuts away.  Solely a pan for Henry Butt.  Who directed this, and where do I send the fruit basket?  Dang, it was Nelson McCormick, and this was the only ep of Longmire he directed.  Huh.  In S1, there’s only one repeat director, who did eps 1, 3, and 7.  Interesting.

Focus, kid.  You are less than 3 minutes from the end and you’ve had it paused for over 5 minutes to wander around IMDb.  No wonder it takes you three flipping hours to watch one of these episodes.  What a mess, indeed.

“We all process grief in our own way.”  Buddy.  You have not processed.  You are a human <BUFFERING> screen.  You’re a walking loading symbol.  Walt, he gives you some basic vital statistics on the guy, but...  You haven’t even asked who it was.  Walt, you are so bad at this.  Fffffffff---  And there’s season 1.  lawd.

[radioromantic-moved]

updated tma s/i storyline/backstory because all of my rusty quill inserts have an entire biography of background information apparently  (this is a Big Fat post. under the cut for length and tma spoilers up until season 5)

-little american smartass moves overseas to go to college, makes two best friends (jon and georgie), together they co-run the gsa and top the honor roll (also, they become a professional third wheel)

-they move back home after college, and keep in touch with georgie and jon as best they can, with life and adult stuff getting in the way. 

-fast forward a couple years and look out, england, they’re back for more! apparently, their two college bffs have both landed themselves paranormal-based careers while they were away, and they’re absolutely getting in on that.

-ze hangs out at the archives, annoying jon. ze befriends the assistants because who DOESN’T want to befriend the assistants. ze gets offered a job a couple times but ze doesn’t take it because getting paid for paranormal nonsense kinda sucks all the fun out of it. also, the boss creeps zir out a little.

-jane prentiss and the close encounter with the creepy crawly kind is what sparks the idea that ohhh, maybe there’s something Legitimately Weird going on here. and it pushes zir to give jon a statement.

-so maybe everything was not so totally normal the whole time they were in america. so maybe one of their friends bailed on a camping trip so they had to stay in a cabin with some guy they didn’t know and sneak out the window in the middle of the night when one of his “hunting trips” went a little fucked up. so maybe they ran over what was probably a werewolf with their car. (they’re actually pretty proud of that last bit. like, they not only survived but they HIT a WEREWOLF with their CAR. they’re totally the best horror protag.)

-they meet helen when she comes in to give jon her statement. they help her calm down and get some basic information out of her. there’s a little romantic tension there from the beginning (what if our hands brushed while you were drawing an impossible map filled with too many turns…hahaha jk…unless?)

-helen remembers that.

-they rekindle their friendship with georgie like they were never apart at all, though she’s not quite comfortable enough to share her fear-based deal with them yet. but they come over a lot and pet the admiral a lot 

-they’re a casual watcher of ghost hunt uk, and they know of melanie cause paranormal nerds attract paranormal nerds, yknow? they’re officially introduced through georgie, and strike up a nice friendship from there (as long as they don’t bring up the archives around her too much).

-in terms of entities they’ve definitely got something lonely-related going on. something about feeling unable to form any meaningful relationships and worrying that no one truly cares about them yet at the same time not having enough motivation to try and form bonds on their own, so they mask their emotions with humor and sarcasm and push away people who would get close to them. peter lukas has them pegged pretty well and is the first supernatural thing to notably rattle them. 

-whether they actually become an avatar probably depends on the storyline

-other entities with an opinion on them…the hunt thinks they’re annoying. most of them probably think they’re annoying, actually, at some point, which is sort of their goal. the eye thinks they’re sort of interesting. the spiral likes them, for obvious reasons.

-they sometimes visit jon when he’s living at georgie’s house in the s3 era. this is around the same time they’re becoming close with georgie like That, meaning that on occasion the tables will turn and jon gets a chance to be the third wheel. there’s also genuine friendship stuff going on, though. they talk. they believe him.

-at some point, helen pays them a visit in her new form. and listen, as a gay horror fan, they’d be lying if they said they didn’t sort of vibe with it.

-she visits them a couple more times, seemingly just to talk. she claims the part of her that used to be og helen missed their company.

-also tim doesn’t die in any of the good storylines because it’s my canon now and i said so. :)

-same for sasha. they’re all safe, actually, and everything is fine,

-they do research and pass it along to the archives team when they can and field a lot of sad calls from jon. he claims they owe him for listening to them cry about helen when they thought she ghosted them. 

-during s5 and the cosmic apocalypse, they take up shelter inside helen’s hallways. they sort of just stay in a little side room that shuffles their things around occasionally but it’s better than being trapped in their own personal fear hell. 

-ze has a domain of their own (cause if you aren’t feeling fear you gotta be making it) but ze doesn’t like spending time there. it creeps zir out and makes zir feel bad. the domain itself is partially spiral partially eye partially lonely. the lights are too bright and the music is too loud and everyone’s looking at you but you can’t recognize anyone or talk to anyone, and every time you try to get away to find a moment of peace you start to forget who you are, and where you are, and what you’re doing, so you ask around to see if anybody knows but everyone still looks right through you and won’t answer your questions. it’s very you’re at the party by lemon demon.

-ze hangs out out with melanie and georgie sometimes during the Stuff but can’t really stay for too long out of fear of putting them in danger. ze stops helen from eating their followers.

-ze eventually runs into jon as he’s traveling back to london and makes a pitstop in the hell hotel. ze initially just lets jon and helen talk but things really don’t go well at all and ze has to step in before they start killing each other. ze convinces jon that helen is trying, and what she says isn’t always truthful but she’s not going to stand in his way if he wants to set the world back to normal. not if it would hurt zir in the process. jon is skeptical but he trusts zir.

-good ends: the apocalypse is over! yay! everyone lives! double yay! they move back into their house but helen still visits them a lot. possibly, they move in with georgie and melanie. whatever the storyline they get at least one girlfriend which is epic and cool for them. they continue to be best friends with jon and complain about things with each other as a love language.