#but moving things makes you really aware of how it exists in space

[wardensantoineandevka]

The more I think about it, ultimately, I think C3 has a lot of really great single moments that are not set up properly or they're not followed through on, the lead up or lead out isn't done properly or coherently, so the connective tissue between these moments and the cause-and-effect (or, the consequences and connections) between events isn't strong if it exists at all. There's a lot of really incredible ideas that aren't explored thoroughly, a lot of elements that would make really interesting and strong thematic throughlines if they were actually picked up and connected. Moments and conclusions that are fine as is, but it's easy to see how they could've been magical if these two existing dots were actually connected and the frame was nudged just slightly. Lots of really good moments and incredible potential that just doesn't come together to coalesce.

Which, sometimes that's what happens when you can only move forward and it's the nature of the game, you have to be sharp enough to see things as they're developing, bit like a writers room for an ongoing — which this cast has been in the past, so it's disappointing because other campaigns, both on this channel and elsewhere in the space have pulled it off. You have to be alert and aware of what you have to thread it together while it's chugging along, and it's possible. We've seen this cast and other casts do it, multiple times. It just takes clarity of narrative intent and a specific sense of what you're working toward with the threads.

C3 ultimately feels a lot like a first draft with some incredibly good beats and ideas and a lot of promise and all the pieces, but it hasn't made effective or impactful use of what good material it has because it didn't threat them together properly or worked out the connections because it doesn't quite know what it's working with or toward yet. Every time I think about the ways I think C3 fails, it really just feels like first draft issues, and it's disappointing because it didn't have to.

[abrielarnold]

i was able to snag a scene for the rephanimated project! (it looks SO good so far. everyone did an amazing job!!)(super excited to see the whole thing!!)

[areislol]

being transported into their world

►— pairings. honkai star rail men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. nothing really, not proof read 🙅🏻‍♀️, caelus is the trailblazer, romantic but you can see it was platonic if you want to! girls in the astral express are mentioned for a bit, i mentioned both dan heng and imbibitor lunae so don't mind that! mentions of self attempt/bodily harm for blade, boothill is ooc probably, spoilers of penacony quest, skipping herta space station (will be mentioned in other chapters though!), sahau (self aware honkai au)

►— synopsis. their beloved creator, the one who created many worlds, including theirs, had yet to return after thousands of years. but lately, they've been experiencing strange things, feeling like a heavenly, divine figure loomed over them. could it possibly be their one and only creator?

►— a/n. i've been thinking about a self-aware au but a honkai star rail version for a couple of weeks now after my reverse isekai'd genshin sagau series. also this may be a bit biased towards dang feng (imbibitor lunae) because uh i like him, maybe you can tell?

►— wordcount. 4.5k

part 2

for days they've felt uncomfortable, well, slightly. it only began to happen a couple of months ago when they felt as if something, no... someone was controlling their every movement and choice.

during their adventures, they felt an unsettling sensation creep upon them like a shadow in the night—a feeling of being watched, of a presence looming over their every move.

the presence was overwhelming, their body would stiffen, and they felt as if something like a heavy, invisible blanket was casted upon them.

at first, the passengers in the astral express dismissed it as mere paranoia, attributing it to the heightened tension of their journey or maybe the warping effects in the train. but as days passed and the sensation persisted, they couldn't shake off the unnerving feeling that they were not alone, that someone or something was observing their every action.

at times, they would catch fleeting whispers carried by the wind, faint voices that echoed in the corners of their minds. yet, despite their efforts, they could never make out the words, the words slipping through their grasp like elusive dreams.

as the feeling grew more pronounced, thoughts began to gnaw at their consciousness. who or what could possibly be speaking to them? why is it that every now and then they would feel a sudden boost and surge of power?

they knew deep down that the only being in the universe could make them feel that was,it could be no other than their creator.

the mere thought that their creator was dropping hints of their arrival was exciting. and only when the astral express crew noticed how each and every one of them felt the same exact things—looking around the moment they heard a voice, their body in sync as they tensed up... it was all too coincidental not to notice.

as they talked with one another and pieced the puzzle pieces together, using the information they found along the way travelling to each region, it all became clear.

it was a pivotal moment in their journey, the truth was revealed. in a flash of realization, they discovered that the presence they felt, the elusive voice they heard, was none other than their creator—the architect of their existence, the mastermind behind their trials and tribulations.

dan heng, himeko, welt, march and caelus had a hunch that it was their beloved creator, it couldn't be anyone else. everything added up, everything made sense. they acted like mad scientists, scurrying to their rooms and digging around every nook and cranny of their room, finding any evidence and papers that mentioned you, the creator.

as they all met up back on the train they carefully placed each and every newspaper and article about you. they had to make sure that it was really you. some of the articles that dan heng bought were from way back, thousands of years ago, he refused to tell anyone where he had gotten them from.

"in the vast expanse of the universe, where time flowed like a meandering river and galaxies danced in an eternal cosmic ballet, there existed a being unlike any other—a being known simply as a creator. born out of the primordial chaos, the creator was a solitary entity who traversed the endless void, seeking purpose in a universe devoid of meaning.

for millennia, the creator roamed the expanse, witnessing the birth and death of stars, the rise and fall of civilizations, and the ebb and flow of cosmic energies. yet, amidst the vastness of space and time, the creator found itself consumed by an overwhelming sense of ennui, a profound boredom that gnawed at their very essence.

then, the creator embarked on a journey of creation—a quest to fill the void with worlds of its own design, to sculpt realities from the raw clay of the cosmos. with a mere thought, the creator breathed life into barren planets, adorned them with oceans and mountains, and populated them with a myriad of creatures both strange and wondrous.

as creator delved deeper into their newfound passion, they discovered a love for the act of creation—a love that transcended time and space, a passion that ignited a fire within its soul. with each world it fashioned, each story it crafted, the creator found solace in the act of shaping reality, in the sheer joy of bringing something new into existence.

for six thousand years, the creator laboured tirelessly, weaving tapestries of worlds and galaxies, each one a testament to its boundless imagination and creative prowess. from the smallest blade of grass to the mightiest empires, the creator poured their heart and soul into every facet of creation, infusing each world with a unique charm and character all its own.

yet, amidst the infinite expanse of its creations, the creator remained a solitary figure—a godlike being adrift in a sea of its own making, forever yearning for companionship in a universe devoid of peers. and so, the creator continued their eternal quest, weaving worlds out of boredom and growing a love and passion for creation that would endure for eternity. and we, this universe, was crafted by none other than the creator, the place we call home. it is said that only after six thousand will the creator return to us, to watch over us once more."

the article itself looked worn, it wasn't signed by anyone, and no one knew who wrote it, or how they got the information. but it seemed plausible. millenniums... it has been well over six thousand years, it was about time the creator descended.

they had to be prepared, they had to tell the rest of their friends and families, the world. as much as they would like to keep the information to themselves they knew that you deserved a much better, bigger and more beautiful welcome.

sampo, gepard and luka were more than stunned and nervous, to say the least. their creator... was finally returning back? upon hearing the news from caelus they were sceptical at first, deep down they really wanted to see you in your glory, to finally meet the creator, but at the same time, it was nerve-wracking.

what should they say? what should they do in preparation and celebration? what gifts and offers should they give to you? nothing would do. they were positive that anything they bought, even if it got them in debt, would suffice. you deserved more than a measly couple of dishes and the most delicate and fitting garnets.

it was embarrassing really, their hearts racing as they tried their best to think of what to bring to your feet. but one thing they all had in common was their loyalty to you. if it was their life you wanted then so be it.

sampo is sampo, he was sure that his creator's glory and attractiveness were over the top, he would be sure to compliment you as many times as his mouth could allow, but he was sure that your beauty would be intimidating. no matter your looks your presence was more than enough.

gepard is nervous. his mind is full of "what ifs" and "what should i.." not even his sister can calm him down. every morning and night when he closes his eyes he's anticipating the day his sister barges into his room, yelling that the creator had finally descended. although he isn't quite sure of what to offer you he knows that whenever you need him, whatever you call him for he will be there in less than a minute, by your side or feet if you prefer.

whatever you ask of him, whatever favour you need from, he will never say no.

luka on the other hand is absolutely pumped to meet you! he had heard stories of you when he was a child, and from the stories told by the adults they described you as a kind being, who soon fell in love with the art, beauty and joy of creating. well, their most favourite was creating worlds.

he was absolutely sure that you would be the most kindest, heavenly person he had ever met, what was there to worry about now? luka knew that if he ever laid eyes on you he would fall in love no doubt, he would do anything for you. maybe you would agree to watch his wrestling matches?

jing yuan, blade, imbibitor lunae, and luocha are the most excited of all, sure, everyone is elated to finally meet you with their very own eyes. but them? oh lord... they all believe to be your worshipper, having heard tales of you from their parents, this alone caused them to be awe and love-struck with you.

they were a firm believer in you, you did no wrong in their eyes. all your actions and words were justified. they followed your principles, they made sure to announce their presence every time they came to your altar and placed down the most expensive jewels, dishes and gifts. (they had a shrine of you at home don't worry)

jing yuan was the one of the firsts to get hints that you were finally returning, the divine foresight fu xuan always looked so weary and cautious, but as time grew she began to be more... happy and elated, yet everytime he questioned her she was tense up and smile like it was nothing. and only when he pried did she say that she saw things, saw a blurred face, and heard a voice. "don't be alarmed... i'm here to tell you that.."

he made sure that everyone who worked under him and every prominent person knew of this, he began to make preparations of your arrival, he cancelled all meetings and plans, only focusing on you and your arrival. everything had to be perfect. he had even forgotten about the wanted criminal blade. jing yuan booked the most fanciest restaurant for a month max, he wasn't sure when you were coming, of course, so a month it was.

jing yuan prepared every entertainment and paid the orchestra, he wanted everything to be perfect, even the most minuscule details.

blade's loyalty was and is only for you and only you. he may be cold and stone-hearted (we all know it's false) but if it's you... whatever you ask for he will do it no doubt. he refuses to take orders from a stranger even if it is his friend, but if it's you? say no more. blade knew you were a kind soul, you needed protection from the other so-called "enemies" (he proclaimed it!).

he swore that you saved his life, years ago when everything was tumbling down, when his feelings got the better of him, he tried doing the unthinkable, as he blacked out he suddenly "saw" something.. a beacon of light, it was magical and airy, he tried his best to grasp onto the light but obviously could not.

it floated further and further away, and he followed it, his eyes glued only on the beacon of light. as it stopped moving, so did he, he continued staring at the light as it shrank into a ball, it didn't speak, it didn't look anywhere, it stayed there. suddenly he woke up, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. what was that?

sweat clung to his forehead when jingliu found him, concerned she rushed over to him, he refused to say a single word. he was left perplexed. what was the ball of light? why did he feel so at ease? why did it only appear after he...

he would make it his mission to meet you before the rest do other than the astral express crew and become your bodyguard, even if you deny his offer he will stick with you no matter what. of course, he would respect your boundaries but he knew that you didn't have the heart to deny anyone, especially your creation.

imbibitor lunae absolutely adores you, even if he was reincarnated the memories still pass on. and the tales being told by the grown-ups were famous around his area and still is. from the earliest days of his existence, tales of the creator had woven themselves into the fabric of his consciousness, painting a portrait of a being of boundless kindness and infinite compassion.

as a child, imbibitor lunae had listened with rapt attention to stories passed down through generations, tales of the creator's benevolence and the miracles they wrought upon the world. and in the quiet moments of the night, he would gaze up at the starry expanse above, whispering prayers to the creator, his heart overflowing with admiration and reverence.

when news of the creator's imminent return after six thousand years reached his ears, his heart soared with unbridled joy. in no time he set about preparing for your arrival, pouring his heart and soul into crafting the perfect gifts to present to his divine benefactor.

drawing inspiration from the tales of old, he fashioned intricate trinkets and tokens of his affection, each one imbued with his unwavering devotion and love. amidst the swirling maelstrom of feelings, one thing remained constant: his unwavering love for the creator.

imbibitor swore that once he felt or sensed a sign that would be arriving he would immediately act, he would be the first to meet and lay his eyes on your divine figure. slap him as many times as you want if you found it rude, he would only thank you.

luocha, despite remaining calm and composed on the outside, internally, he was freaking OUT. luocha found himself grappling with a myriad of conflicting thoughts and emotions. on one hand, he felt a profound sense of excitement at the prospect of meeting the creator, the architect of his existence and the source of all that he held dear.

yet, on the other hand, he couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of inadequacy, the fear of not being able to live up to your expectations.

his mind raced with a flurry of possibilities. what gifts would you appreciate? what could he offer to express his gratitude and reverence for the being who had breathed life into his world? with each passing moment, the weight of the impending meeting pressed down upon him like a heavy burden, filling him with a sense of anxiety.

despite his inner turmoil, luocha maintained a facade of calm and composure, determined not to let his anxieties show. with a steely resolve, he set about meticulously planning and preparing for your arrival, carefully considering every detail in his quest to find the perfect gift.

he even resorted to asking the children about what gifts he should bring, and yes, they did laugh at him but helped him nonetheless.

from ornate trinkets to rare treasures, luocha spared no effort in his search for the ideal offering, pouring his heart and soul into each carefully chosen item. yet, even as he laboured tirelessly to ensure that everything was perfect, doubts continued to gnaw at the edges of his mind, although one thing was for sure, if you didn't like any of his gifts he wouldn't be upset rather, maybe all you wanted was his whole body and life, and he would not hesitant once to give it up for you.

they all couldn't wait to meet you.

aventurine, sunday, gallagher and boothill are freaking out. horribly. mainly aventurine.. once the news had reached them from the astral express that it was possible (about 98%) that you were the comet arriving in a week... oh boy were they NERVOUS. everything HAD to be perfect. they had everything to thank you for, during their life and death situation they were lucky enough to survive—thanks to you.

it was only natural to return the favour, you created them, their personality, their arms, legs, their body, you sculpted their face, you made them. you made the very world they live in right now, the world they call home... they were sure you were by their side, making them make the right decisions and the right thing. aventurine? oh, the amount of MONEY he will spend buying everything he thinks you'd like, the fanciest, most elegant and most expensive shoes, clothing and accessories. he would rent out an entire week or months of work at a restaurant if you'd like to dine alone or with a couple of people. he knows his luck is a part of him, he can only pray that he'll meet you first with his luck.

sunday... just the sound of your name makes him tear up. he could've sworn that one time you spoke to him, your other-worldly echoing voice speaking to him directly about the loss of his dear sister. and here he stood in his room, looking out the window, and in the far distant a light shimmering as it swiftly dived down. a shooting star. he knows that with everyone getting the news they're all aiming to be the first to meet you, and trust me, he does want to meet you FIRST. the second you land he'll be there right with you and guiding you to safety—penacony.

but first, he must pinpoint where exactly you'll land. and with his power and influence he will most definitely try his best to find you and be sure to hide you from everyone else... he needs you, desperately.

gallagher and boothill have exactly the same thoughts. to present themselves good to you and spend every minute and second with you. but with everyone gossiping and spreading rumours about your arrival it's hard to be unique. everyone wants to be with you, everyone wants your favour. but they could never worship you as much as them. they had dreamed of this moment, it seemed unreal to meet their own creator but nonetheless, they clung to their hope and boy did it not go to waste.

boothill basically pauses any mission he needs to complete, that can wait. you are eternal. he's practically on edge with the fact that at any moment the comet would crash through and there you'd be, dozing peacefully.. like an angel. he won't hesitate to cause some trouble or initiate some violence if it means that they don't get to see you first.

gallagher on the other hand tries to stay hidden and in the shadows. of course, he'd like to meet you face to face but with the feeling of an overwhelming and looming divine presence, it's all too much. and if that's too much then what would he feel when you stand right before him? he's like an overprotective dog, fiercely loyal and clingy. even if you can't spot him he'll be right there, lurking and watching.

dr. ratio and argenti are absolutely and 100% loyal and would do EVERYTHING in their power to meet you, even a glance would do, anything to feed their curiosity and desperate need to know the creator. so when they get wind that you were supposedly descending down... they freeze on the spot, their breath hitches as their eyes widen. could it really be?

dr. ratio was always a curious boy, and he has you to thank for giving him consciousness and the opportunities to venture out and earn knowledge and eventually spreading his knowledge to his students (preaching i guess you can say). he's a bit biased when it comes to talking about you to his friends or students, and speaking your name in a more positive light, not that anyone minds, if anything they agree!

although he isn't much of a gifter or "i'll spend my money on you" he's more of a "anything you want just tell me". if you told him to drop his precious books to come and tend to your needs he would do it in a heartbeat.

to argenti you are the standard and epitome of "beauty". the beauty he has been searching for his entire life. he intends to shower you with compliments and roses freshly picked by hand unless you're allergic or not a fan of flowers, fear not! compliments should do! be ready to be bombarded with such positivity, compliments and gifts from the knight of beauty.

anything you wish for he will try his utmost best to get it done perfectly and quickly. "your hair looks so pretty like this..." say no more, he will always style it and keep it exactly like that! "my feet feel so sore from all the walking" ?!!? why is his dear walking anyway!?!? don't worry, he'll massage it for you! "ugh all this work is making me tired" move aside, let him do the honours!!

It was a long ride home from work, you were currently in an almost empty bus, glancing over the top of your phone you read the time. 11 P.M.

Was it that late already? You knew this office job would be the death of you. You never wanted to work at a place like this, the cubicle life bored you and it was just so... depressing. That was the only way to describe it.

You decide to pass the time by playing your all-time favourite game: Honkai: Star Rail. The soft glow of the screen illuminated your face as you began to grind relics and exp for an upcoming character. It definitely worked in keeping you busy and awake as time passed by slowly.

All was well, everything was fine. You had everything planned in your head. Get home as soon as possible, take a nice warm and rejuvenating shower, get five hours of sleep, go back to work and repeat.

The more you thought about your daily routine the more you realised how depressing it was, but what could you do? That job was the only one that was hiring and had average pay and things like that are rare, especially when you decided to live in the city which was your first mistake.

You were barely getting by in the city, the crime rate increased, there were more breaks in, pickpocketing and murder. But despite all of that you decided to rent an apartment where it was less populated, the rent in the heart of the city was way too high.

Pushing all those thoughts and information aside you let out a defeated sigh, leaning your head on the window as you continued to tap away on your phone.

If only life went just a little bit easier on you.

Everything was fine. The silence was comfortable and the low, soft rumble of the engine kept you awake, until a loud deafening crash jolted the bus, sending people flying and falling onto the ground.

Letting out a scream you grabbed onto whatever you could to keep you steady—the head of the chair in front of you. Although it didn't do a good job of keeping you still you couldn't care less, because as you lifted your head, your eyes caught something massive charging straight at you, and before you could react, a blinding light engulfed you, followed by an eerie silence.

When you regained consciousness, you found yourself tightly packed against something dark and rocky. Just great! Something had happened to the bus and knocked you out.

You looked around, it was pure blackness, like a void. Maybe this was what happened after death... Out of all things and especially the time too!

Feeling confused and scared you try to move your body to shift into a more comfortable position but due to the lack of space, you could barely even move an inch.

Suddenly, a crack was heard. And you froze.

Then another crack, and another, the darkness began to crack and splinter and not long after half of the egg-shaped looking ball broke in half as it fell to the side.

Shards of obsidian-like material fractured and scattered around. A large amount of dust, and shiny glitter-like specs flew everywhere, it was extremely dusty.

Unfortunately, you inhaled the smoke, coughing and sputtering, you waved their hand in front of your face, trying to dispel the particles as you squinted against the harsh light that slipped through the smoke.

As the dust settled and the steam dissipated, your surroundings gradually came into focus. You found yourself in front of... one, two, three, four, and... five.... wait.. what?

Right before you stood four male figures (with the other seemed to have a more feminine build), male figures that looked awfully familiar to you for some odd reason, just why was that?

You were confused and curious as you surveyed your surroundings, realizing that maybe this was death? You would've never guessed that "life" after death would look like this. It was very.... interesting.

The buildings that surrounded you were intricate and otherworldly. Dazzling celestial landscapes and luminescent structures piqued your interest as you slowly and carefully stepped out of what you assumed was a shell.

Its' architect and infrastructure reminded you of something, it seemed nostalgic—as if you've seen this exact building before. The more you observed and watched, your eyes tracing every precise curve and detail of the buildings your heart began to pick up its pace.

Your eyes searched every corner and inch, and finally, it landed back on the five figures you had spotted before and it wasn't until you caught sight of familiar faces that you were certain that you had to be hallucinating somehow after death.

There, standing in a circle, were figures that you could hardly believe were real: Caelus, Dan Heng, Gepard, and Bronya. It was unmistakably them.

Their presence, their unmistakable aura of reverence, left you no doubt.

They watched you, their gazes filled with awe and admiration as if you were the embodiment of some long-awaited prophecy (and in this case, it was).

You were in disbelief. Disbelief that you had somehow been transported into the very game they were playing moments ago, but now they were tangible, real.

It was a long silence, it was both comfortable and uncomfortable with their longing gaze. You remained still as you checked around your surroundings once again before settling your eyes back on the group of people.

At your gaze they felt a shiver down their spine, and the hair on their skin stood up.

"W—Who are you guys?!" You yelled, narrowing your eyes to see if it was truly the characters from the game you adored.

Dan Heng's breath hitched at the sound of your booming voice, your voice... it was just like how they described what you would sound like in the carved stones and ancient scrolls.

The more he stared at you the more he wanted to come to you, to kneel down at your feet and profess how long he has been waiting for this moment.

With his eyes trained on your figure, he steps closer, Gepard notices and swiftly stops him from moving any further with his arm. Dan Heng looks to his side, confusion strewn on his face.

Not a single word was spoken yet with a stern gaze and the shake of a head, Dan Heng understood. Now was not the right time.

Minutes passed by in complete and utter silence, it unnerved you. Why were they so quiet? So watchful?

Finally, after what felt like hours, the silence was broken just with a couple words.

"We have been awaiting your arrival, Your Gracefulness."

note: after 5 months WOW. i've been so busy with things i haven't had the time to really sit down and work. I'm so sorry everyone!

tags 🏷️: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls @goldenglow149 @rhwm @urlocalheizousimp @saltylovetale-blog @toramune @oreo-ren @backintomykpopphaseagain @serenity-loves-red @flooofity @minteasketches @yurassia @chellazhef @fulldoves @kateybuggi @wanderingconstellations @mini-shower @160ccm @rosariashield @sickize @sarah22447 @dreamlessnight @gimmealmap @bebeluvs @caramelstarlight @sukiidreams @oceanist @achy-boo @alhaitie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @that-mom-friend @v-ish @merormerry @gojoulen03 @scarletttcrow @hadischara @kithewanderingme @keiqq @livelaughlovekuni @chirikoheina @wr1t3rfum1k0 @issacdaholi @yu-ulda @alysinbshsu @vanilla-sweets @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @be-gay-do-crime-ahaha @seipaws @clavichordcleffa @uhhhiwassup @youdontneedyoknowlol @the-lazy-perfectionist @issacdarknight @lucienbarkbark @bizzybkd @obliviousariies2007 @coffee-seed

(if the usernames aren’t highlighted that’s because I can’t tag you so I’ll dm you when I post a new chapter! if i forgot to tag you im so sorry!)

for those i've taged: if you do not want to tagged for hsr drop a comment or message me.

liking + following + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[sos717]

Yes, Im Back

Here it is you guys, this is going to be the clearest and most simple explanation I’ve done so far of manifestation and your identity as conciousness and what that means for experience & the world unfolding. Don’t worry if you’re new to this, this will help!

THIS IS A MASSIVE POST, TAKE YOUR TIME AND GRAB SOME WATER, YOUR ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE 😉🤭🤭

————————————————————

So around 7 years ago I started stepping into the world of what people typically call manifestation. I went down the rabbit hole of Subliminals, Law of Attraction, Law of assumption, NonDuality and finally to where I am now, the unlabeled.

I want to preface by saying, I have been through an unimaginable amount of turmoil, and growth while on my journey to understanding reality and the way the world appears.

I’ve spent all of my time from back to when I first found out about this side of reality, to today while I’m writing this post, constantly looking at a multiplicity of teachings and teachers to figure it out, except until the very end. I really want you to know this because it’s very important to not brush this off as if it’s not possible for you, as if you have to adapt a technique or secret. This isn’t something that’s to be exhausting. With that being said, let’s move forward.

We all want things, we all have ideas of a life we hope to live, we want to fill it with all the experiences and specific details that match our taste. But this is actually, where the problem begins.

The way manifestation is taught is inherently wrong, I’ve fully stopped watching and consuming content that has anything to do with manifesting all together, because no matter what it is, Law of assumption, Law of attraction, all of the other ideologies that promise your desires, they all have a fundamental flaw, identity.

They usually all entail a similarity: methods, techniques, specific things you can do and ways you can act to make an outcome happen. All the while throwing in a random “because you’re the god of your reality”. And instead of focusing on the phrases that relate to the center of all of it, YOU, it’s simply just brushed past.

And not just the typical “your source”, “your operant power”, “you are the manifestation,

We get it but wtf does that actually mean, and why should you care??? Well, let’s get into this, because once you start from point A, everything else makes sense.

What all these teachings of the world get wrong is the idea that you can want things and desire, as source. Fundamentally this is a paradox, you can’t exist in desire and want if you are the source of reality. It’s not to say you aren’t, but it’s to say, you don’t ACTUALLY want and desire, but the illusion of being separate from the world is what makes you want and desire.

Let’s break the illusion.

Ask yourself this for me. “Am I aware”.

The answer will always be yes. Undeniably. And no matter how many times you repeat this, the answer is always yes, no matter a feeling, no matter a pleasant or unpleasant experience in the world, no matter any circumstance, you will always say yes.

Why is this so important to explore?

Because you are able to see from direct experience what source is.

When you asked yourself that question, did you notice something weird that happened? It’s almost like everything paused for a split second and your attention went somewhere to find the answer, and a response came from there. Look closer, ask yourself the question again, and this time try to find where the answer is coming from.

You’ll find that it comes out of nowhere, and if you try to trace it as far back as you can, to even before you answer yes, there this empty space of knowing that the answer conjures in.

This is consciousness. This is you.

Whether you name it consciousness/awarness or knowing, it doesn’t matter, it’s all interchangeable. But the important thing to note is, this thing doesn’t ever go anywhere. That is your true identity, the starting point of all ideas, the starting point to anything that can possibly be known. Every decision is from here, every expression comes from here, everything leads back to knowing. When there is emotion, it is known, when there is idea, it is known.

You being able to know that you are aware comes from this. This is the unseeable, the thing that can’t be perceived in any way, this is origin, its source, and its you. Take a shot at it, try to see what knowing looks like, its weight, its shape, its color, its dimensions, what its favorite color is, what it doesn’t like or does like. You’ll be left with nothing, as in no descriptions, but definitely knowing that there is a presence there that never goes away. Now try finding its name, its age, its skin color, its voice. You cant, and yet, from this very nothingness comes your undeniable answer that you exist and you are aware of your existence.

You don’t need and feelings to know, you dont need sight, sound, and sense of perception, you don’t even need to acknowledge the body in any way, but you know you “are”.

At some point when there were no worlds and universes, there was an unseeable, dimensionless plane from what everything came from, does this sound familiar? Before there were things, there was no-thing, a presence yes, but no objects. And from this, reality was expressed, but source can’t go away, the fundamental key to everything there is today, has to remain, or else everything else would not exist.

Concouisness is what you are. And it IS the origin.

Now how tf do you live you dream life???

By understanding that the world is also just an expression of source, conciousness/you.

I need you to understand something that I thing we can all agree on, if everything has one source, it would only make sense for everything to be the extension of that thing that gives it life. The world is no different, and trust me I know this without a reasonable doubt. I’ve spent closer to a decade trying to figure this out. Everything exists in/on the field of consciousness/you.

I need you to trust me, because no matter how far you have been in your journey and how tiring it might have been like it was for me, I promise you, this is worth it all.

Step away from the ideas of wanting and needing, put on your neutrality glasses and perceive the world as 2 simple things, conciousness and conscious expression. These are the only 2 things that drive experience itself.

Understanding that you are source, more things become clear. Where do all the stories of all the unfavorable problems in your life activate from? Where does the idea of good events activate from? Where is it that any form of knowing come from, you. Whether it’s about struggling with money, or about someone loving you, the story or ideas, conjure from you.

We already know that we are conciousness, but now let’s acknowledge the second mosy important part, reality begins at us, draw yourself into something that you don’t really like, something you’d like to change, now notice where it activates from.

From knowing. Knowing the idea or story is its creation

Now when we see it casually, as just another thougt about something the world is showing us we brush it off and move on with our day, until we have to face that thing, but, what if this was actually in reverse?

Because if everything is an expression of source, doesn’t that mean the world is too? It would have to be. Doesn’t that mean, anything registered by the senses has to abide by its source? And doesn’t that mean, that the world is not truly something of its own will?

The short answer is yes absolutely. And I can tell you, this is it. THIS WILL BE VERY F$&#*NG IMPORTANT.

Admitting to the idea that there is one source for everything is literally acknowledging that everything can only show up IN ACCORDANCE AND RESPECT TO WHATEVER ITS SOURCE IS.

THIS MEANS, the the world is a PROJECTION of source, IT DOES NOT STAND ALONE. It does not OPERATE ON ITS OWN.

The world is the projection of consciousness.

Following me??

Like a hologram, like a school projector QUITE LITERALLY a projection.

From us, an infinite array of stories and ideas come, and they only become activate or exist if we allow them to, if we give permission to this thing to exist.

That story that you’ve had about SP (Specific Person) or Money or Success, has always been activated by you. TELL ME WHERE ELSE IT STARTS. You can literally even prove this to yourself right now. WHERE DOES THE STORY BEGIN.

And because the world is just an expression/extension of its source (YOU) it is ONLY GOING TO BE WHAT SOURCE IS. Because it is source, just with senses and perception. It is coming face to face with what you are aware of.

The way the world shows and all of its details are projections of whatever you decide to activate. How do you activate something? BY KNOWING IT.

How do you know “red apple” ? By knowing it. That is the origin for this idea. And you can run this test for every single story you play on loop, find its source, it will always be you.

Now, for the important steps moving forward. Stop treating this like an on and off switch, truly stop caring about a feeling, stop letting yourself get so swayed out of understanding your identity as the source, do NOT give up this beautiful opprotunity just because it seems or feels different.

You’ve been taught for so long that the world has to be struggle, so that’s all you know, you’ve been told that things don’t always come easy, this is all you know, take the time, take the days and weeks you need to break out of this useless cycle of exhaustion and understand who you are as source

Do not double down on doubts, double down on the truth, regardless of how you feel, take your time to feel, take your time to be, but never allow yourself to slip back into the brainwashing of the world.

Moving forward you need to understand the world objectively, not with the ideas of wants and desire, but for what it is. Source can’t want, you turn it into desire by creating a sense of divide for yourself. You pretend the world is something to change, drop this. You pretend that the body is all you are, drop it, you pretend that there has to be more to this but knowing, DROPKICK this into the damn ground.

This all is very simple. Everything being the expression of source is only projecting what source (You) are. The world is a direct projection of conscious activity. Whatever is know is given permission to exist, it’s given life. It’s created. THIS. IS. IT.

Whether it be blue butterflies, getting a free coffee, or changing your eye color, it all is just knowing. And this isn’t something that turns off. This is reality, this is you. Start noticing the random things the world shows up as when you were just thinking about it the other day or a few hours ago. It is not a coincidence I assure you.

That friend you were thinking about calling you? Yeah.

That song you were thinking about suddenly popping up? Yeah

That “problem” you were thinking about suddenly reappearing? Yeah

It is all the same, yes it will take getting used to, but please understand me when I say this, it took me a painful amount of time and effort to finally see this as the truth, the amount of months I’ve spent isolating from content and other teachings allowed me to take ONLY personal experience, I tested it day in day out and this IS it.

Currently I expand my comfort on how seamless existing is, and I can assure you, if I can come to this conclusion, you 100% can because it has NOT been easy for me, and it almost didn’t want to accept it. But the moment I did, and kept seeing it to be true time and time again, I knew I had to go fully in.

You create the idea of wanting by doing this.

“I really want Sp to text me”

This is what you’ve given permission to exist, this is now activated, it now is conscious activity, and because the world is source projected with senses the world IS this.

You treat it like an absolute, but when it comes to something like this:

“Sp loves texting me”

You treat it as effort, and something to do and wait on. Now tell me, does that make sense? Does the idea of waiting, wanting, desiring, changing, even make sense with the knowledge you have up to this point? Nope.

You need to understand. The world is not a story, it’s projection, and it can only be projecting you. Stop turning to the world as if it can make statements, as if it’s feeding you ideas, when you’re the one activating them. You NEVER actually change the world, it’s you that activates a new idea. THATS IT. It exists because you know it. A feeling cannot stop you from knowing, the world cannot stop you from knowing, ONLY YOU can stop yourself from activating a story. A story can’t exist if it isn’t known.

So, don’t you think it’s about time you see past the illusion of wanting and see for yourself what you are?

Don’t you think it’s time, to wake up.

[yuutawe]

YUUTA OKKOTSU AS A BOYFRIEND! ﹕headcanons

꒰ warnings!!꒱ there is a nsfw part near the end ! aged-up yuuta (he's 21 here) ! yandere yuuta ! reader is implied to be into his obsessions + at least slighly aware ! delusional yuuta ! mentions of marriage ! manipulation (lovebombing) ! ⤷﹒✦┆mentions of bdsm + switch yuuta + overstimulation (implied) + dacryphilia (implied).

ꖛ about. * reader is gender-neutral. no anatomy specified + they/them pronouns and genderless nicknames.

ꖛ author's note * aaaaaghhh wanted this to be longer. got embarrassed writing nsfw, ngl. hope you enjoy ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎[ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎NOT PROOFREAD!]

PRE-RELATIONSHIP !! ꒱୨९

yuuta being yuuta, you probably were the one to ask him out. the life of a sorcerer was one where relationships didn't have much space on the personal agenda (unless he made a few extra efforts). initially, the big obstacle is yuuta's own shyness and the traumas he carries with his bruised soul.

when he starts to get interested in you, his first reaction is to panic. pure and fickle, sprouting in his heart like a parasite. it starts innocently enough: liking older photos on your social media. late-night messages. drinks at the weekend, until he notices his hand on your lower back as he guides a drunken you to the car.

you’re snoring on the passenger’s seat and yuuta is wide-eyed, his thoughts a mile per minute. this can't be happening.

yuuta can't dodge maki's taunts, toge's questions (which are too judgemental for someone who only talks in onigiri ingredients) and panda's cupid advice. nobody really understands how he's feeling.

even though he has learnt a lot from losing rika and eventually letting her go, he still fears and longs for true, pure love. it's almost a necessity. he underwent grief counselling and still got over his old crush in a surprisingly healthy way, for someone who was literally haunted by the ghost of said crush for years of his life.

then you arrive. with a gentle smile, sweet words and an unforgettable body. how could he resist? god, he wants to marry you in the spot. but yuuta knows it's a selfish desire.

he's very, very respectful, and tries not to let his interest show in a way that makes you uncomfortable. it's all about knowing how to read the smallest, subtlest signs, and he'll be well understood. yuuta is the kind of guy who will walk you to your car when you leave somewhere, the guy who remembers to take an extra jacket or offers you his when it's too cold, the guy who always remembers your preferences, allergies, and other small details.

an observer, he's always the silent one who rarely engages in conversation. initially, it's very much a ‘you talk, he answers’ kind of thing, but eventually he gains enough confidence to open up and constantly initiates and continues conversations with you.

his lingering glances at your body don't go unnoticed by you. maybe there's a bit of teasing coming from you, depending on your personality, but it doesn't matter. he's too shy to make the first move. so you do.

after the first date, that's when things blossom.

HONEYMOON PHASE !! ꒱୨९

the honeymoon phase is one of the best experiences you can have dating yuuta. things are new, slightly superficial, but overall very nice and gentle. he is unfortunately a bit prone to lovebombing, even if he doesn't realize it. he can be extremely smothering and hyper-protective at times, but an honest conversation of five to ten minutes can easily help him correct this behaviour.

he's a great listener, and fights are almost non-existent. gestures of love are constant and always innovative: flowers every week, homemade chocolates if you're a fan, reservations at places that interest you and even simple dates at home. marathons of series or films that end in soft kisses and warm hugs.

he does ask for you two to live together a bit too quickly.

POST-HONEYMOON PHASE !! ꒱୨९

even when the honeymoon phase is over, yuuta is never less romantic. he makes a point of doing little gestures like cooking, cleaning and organising the house for when you arrive. It starts as a surprise in a few days — surprise, love! Now you don't have to clean anything — but if you don't want to let him do all the work, he'll agree to a routine where the two of you can alternate housework. the only thing he asks for in return for all the hard work is a few kisses and a cute name as his contact in your phone (like ‘love’, ‘mine’, ‘promised’, ‘husband’).

he's clingy. yuuta is completely starved for touch. he always likes to end an evening by wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in the soft curve of your neck and shoulder. if he can leave a few kisses there before he falls asleep, even better. he doesn't move much during the night, but he's the type with cold hands and a warm body.

yuuta is the kind of man who, if you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, when you come back to the bedroom, you'll see him sitting on the bed, devastated — why did you leave me. dramatic, but in a way that can end up being cute.

GENERAL VIEW !! ꒱୨९

in general, if you can ignore “petty” habits like stalking, overprotection and are willing to hug him and wipe the blood off his face when he comes back from missions, it's a great relationship. if you like men who are obsessed with you, he's simply the best possible option. always trying to touch you or be close to you, making sure you're comfortable — a sweet voice asking is everything okay, love? we can leave if you want.

he wants to take you away from the world and have you all to himself, sometimes, but he makes the sacrifice of sharing because it's what makes you happiest. yuuta is super supportive with your career or if you want to be the type to look after the house. whichever is best for you, he's happy! he's willing to listen to you complain about work while he massages your shoulders, takes your shoes off for you and carries you around the house to the bathroom.

“i'll love you forever.” he murmurs as he kisses your forehead.

SEX LIFE !! ꒱୨९

although it doesn't seem like it, yuuta has a relatively high libido. if this is a problem for you, he can get used to solving it on his own. however, all his fantasies involve you in some way. often, while spending days away on a mission, he begs for a photo or audio of your voice, because he can't enjoy it without you. ��please, love, i need you.”

distance is a cruel poison, but he makes a point of not bothering you about it if he can sort it out himself.

his stamina is good. yuuta can last three rounds before having to give up. if you push his limits, he can last six, and fall asleep minutes later.

he's a switch. he's naturally a bit submissive, and the type who lives to give you pleasure. service sub and soft dom, it's basically him.

when he is the submissive one, he sounds more like: “please, please, please, more— don’t stop, don’t stop, i’ll do anything—”

and when he is the one domming you, he's more: “is this good, my love?” he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder, smiling. “you’re so perfect.”

he'll do anything you want — hit him, push him to the limit, pull his hair. slap him, make him cry just to lick the tears off his cheeks (he loves that crap). he’s yours.

he likes it when you bite and leave marks on him. yuuta will often wear the hickeys and bites as a trophy. as living proof on his body that your love belongs to him, and vice versa.

he moans really, really loud. probably more than you do. it's the kind of whine and long moan that makes the neighbours complain. even when he's on top, he can't hold back the noise he makes when you're together. if you want him to be quiet, you'll have to gag him, or he'll need to bite your shoulder or have his face buried in the pillow.

always after sex, yuuta tries to make you stay in bed, clinging to you and hugging you like a teddy bear. he demands his cuddles. and of course, how could you deny anything to him?

he loves you as much as you love him, after all.

© made by yuutawe on tumblr. do not copy, repost, modify or translate my works in this or any other site — inspirations allowed with credits.

[melliemell]

HEEy !! It’s the nonnie with the glasses back at it once again >:)

I’ve been thinking, annd how do you think the bsd cast (as always i would love if u added both the idiots aka dazai and ranpo) would go abt asking their S/O to move in with them? Ofc add any chara u like!!

ur awesome love u Pookie🫶☺️, — NONNIE WHO FOUND THEIR GLASSES !!!! (YIPPIE FOR THAT!)

hiii babess, hope you're doing well!!

you never fail to deliver with the cool idea, do you 👀👀

BSD ft. How they'd go about moving in with their S/O

(Dazai, Fyodor, Ranpo)

Dazai

Dazai’s not an easy man to live with and he’s perfectly aware of that. 

Would play it off as a casual remark on a random Wednesday, a teasing smile plastered in place yet his gaze won’t leave yours as he observed your reaction while acting carefree.

“I’ll get to wake up to your angelic face every morning. What man wouldn’t want that?” he’d say, draping an arm around your shoulders as you’d roll your eyes at his antics. You’d be all too used to him by now. 

But the thought would swirl in Dazai’smind for days. Feeling your secure embrace was too sweet a treat, and your chest glued to his back had a calming effect he was steadily becoming addicted to. If Dazai had the opportunity to have your warm breath tickling his nape, mind not even fully awake to complain about it as he floated in that blissful oblivion of early mornings–he was getting it.

He’d be spacing out days on end, coming up with as many scenarios of domestic life that he’d end up completely engrossed by the idea. It would be too hilarious to miss out on the play-dress of adult life. Even cleaning chores would seem exiting to him, knowing fully that vacuuming the house could just as easily turn into rawdogging it on the kitchen floor–clean or not. 

Dazai’d have you all to himself. 

Don’t expect you’d be moving in with him. He’s occupying your place the moment he gets the green flag. He’s so used to not doing anything all day that finally having a constant source of entertainment might do him some good. Not you though. Probably. But at least you’d get your boyfriend trailing after you, puppy eyes abused to the brim as he pleads for attention at every possible opportunity. 

Good luck. 

Fyodor

That’s the thing… Fyodor’s so out of the loop of normal life-living that he’d probably not have a home. Places he stays at? Yes, sure. As lavish as he wants or acceptably modest and enough to meet his needs? Very likely. But a home–a specific location he comes back to time and time again, seeking comfort in its familiarity? Unlikely. 

It would start out as him simply needing you to do little tasks for him. Fyodor’d keep an eye out on you, making sure you arrive to the specific city before him as you checked around the territory. Never staying in the same place as him but still keeping you close by. Just in case.

He’d need to establish a secure enough dependance from your side before he lets himself explore any romantic paths with you. There’s a reassuring quality to it, and Fyodor’s not the type to rush into any idea unless he’s completely prepared for the desired outcome. But once you’re together…

Get prepared for an ungodly amount of surprise visits from this man. There won’t be so much as you moving in together–the topic most likely not even discussed yet–but you gradually getting accustomed to the sight of him already at your place, waiting patiently as he sipped his cup of tea by the kitchen table. 

He’d be really good at nestling perfectly into your routine, knowing exactly where you were at all times. Not living together exactly but… existing together, maybe? It won’t be so much about the physical part, simply being in the same space together bringing a smile to his face. He’d stop arranging for his own place eventually, opting to stay with you every time you had to move to a different location.

It was unusual, but Fyodor wasn’t a usual man after all.

Ranpo

Suspiciously too eager for the moving-in together. Until you realise his plan all along–he won’t need to take cabs every time he goes home; you’ll take him home. Now isn’t that just perfect? You know where you live, and you live together. 

Ranpo never really understood the excitement over domestic life. It was definitely a win for all the attention he was going to get constantly, but it’s not like anything too major has happened. You just have to share laundry now, no biggie. 

Until the day he gets back from work, tired to the bones from dealing with people too stupid to let him do his job quickly, and alone. It’s in those late hours that he stumbles though the darkness to your home and…

There you are. Snuggled up in bed and waiting for him with a tired smile on your face. Ranpo’s chest will feel light, the weight lifting instantly as he lays beside you, cheek smashed into your neck as your scent engulfed him. He’s out cold within minutes; just having this secure presence around him would set him at ease instantly.

Ranpo really thought nothing much would change between you after moving together. And he was right, the good old dynamic of you both was still there, but… there was something else. Something new lurking in the early mornings sometimes, or the hum of your voice as you sang under your breath as you washed the dishes. 

Little things. 

Things he was exposed to constantly now that managed to make him stop in his tracks and just–exist in that moment. With you.

Ranpo’s never felt more content after stealing you away like this.

[crystalandbow]

FEBRUARY MESSAGES FOR YOU

hi! welcome back

ik its been loonngg anyways just pick the pile that calls you and lets begin

PILES:

< PILE 1 >

THEME AND FOCUS

(the world, 8 of wands, 5 of pentacles. full moon in Scorpio - breathe through the tension)

I feel change right off the bat. The World as your theme shows that a major cycle is reaching completion, bringing discomfort along itself. The Wheel of Fortune tried to pop out of the deck, signaling that this shift is not random; it’s part of a greater plan. But endings, even the necessary ones, rarely feel easy. There may be moments of resistance, where you feel trapped. Which is absolutely okay. What's important is that you sit with it, learn what you need to, and allow the transition to unfold. Nothing about this phase can be rushed or avoided.

For your focus we have the 8 of Wands which is a call to action. Change is already in motion, and avoidance will only make it harder. Expect fast-moving developments—messages, opportunities, or decisions that require your immediate attention. There’s no space for hesitation now. Whatever you’ve been waiting for is accelerating, and how you respond will set the tone for what comes next.

The 5 of Pentacles suggests this won’t be a smooth ride. Emotionally, financially, or spiritually, you might feel the weight of this transition. But the Full Moon in Scorpio reminds you: pressure creates transformation. There is intensity in the air���desire, tension, even restlessness. You may feel drawn toward something (or someone) with an almost magnetic force. Don’t suppress it, but also don’t let it consume you. This is a test of self-awareness. How you channel this energy really really matters.

< PILE 2 >

What’s most important now is balance. When emotions run high, it’s easy to focus on loss, uncertainty, or what feels out of reach. But this is not the time to spiral—it’s the time to recalibrate. Instead of asking, Why is this happening? ask, What is this clearing space for? This is the moment before renewal. The discomfort will pass, and when it does, you’ll see that this was never about loss—it was about making room for what’s next.

Hope it resonates do lmk your thoughts below! See you next time

Okay I like how well the cards flow into each other and just how clear the message is.

THEME AND FOCUS

(8 of swords, the emperor, hermit. first quarter moon in Pisces- honour your feelings, new moon in Virgo- trust all will be well)

This month carries a sense of mental entrapment, yet also the structure and discipline needed to break free.

With the 8 of Swords as your theme, there is a strong feeling of being stuck—whether due to self-doubt, overthinking, or external restrictions. However, this is more of a mental prison than a real one. The way forward exists, but right now, it may not feel obvious. The challenge is recognizing where you’re limiting yourself and where you need to shift your perspective.

Your focus, The Emperor, calls for structure, control, and decisive action. Where 8 of Swords represents hesitation, The Emperor represents authority and order. This is about taking responsibility for your situation rather than feeling powerless against it. Even if things feel uncertain, discipline and clear thinking will be your strongest allies. There is no room for avoidance—this is about stepping up and setting firm boundaries, both with yourself and others.

The message from The Hermit and the First Quarter Moon in Pisces is clear: your emotions matter, but they shouldn’t consume you. If you’ve been suppressing what you truly feel, this is the time to acknowledge it. Pretending to be unaffected will only create more internal tension. That said, there is a fine line between honoring your emotions and getting lost in them. Reflection is important, but so is perspective. Look at the bigger picture before reacting.

< PILE 3 >

The New Moon in Virgo reassures you that everything is unfolding in divine timing. Patience is key. There may be a strong desire for immediate resolution, but forcing things won’t lead to the outcome you want. Instead, focus on what you can control—your actions, your mindset, and how you contribute to the world around you. Small, practical efforts will be more effective than overanalyzing the unknown.

Hope it resonates do lmk your thoughts below! See you next time

This month is about movement, ambition, and emotional balance. There’s an undeniable fire beneath the surface—excitement, restlessness, and a desire to push forward. But how you direct this energy will determine your results.

THEME AND FOCUS

(page of wands, knight of swords, king of cups. first quarter moon in cap- unleash your kindest self, last quarter moon in Gemini- clear your mind)

With the Page of Wands as your theme, you will be stepping into a period of curiosity, inspiration, and new beginnings. There’s a sense of exploration here—whether it’s a new idea, project, or mindset. The energy is fresh and exciting, but pages represent learning stages, meaning there’s still much to figure out. Stay open, stay eager, but don’t rush without understanding where you're headed.

Your focus, Knight of Swords, demands swift action and determination. This is a card of sharp intellect, rapid movement, and a strong desire to chase your goals. However, speed without strategy can lead to recklessness. The challenge this month is to balance enthusiasm with clarity—move with purpose, but don't let impatience cloud your judgment. Stay focused, but avoid tunnel vision.

The message from the King of Cups and the First Quarter Moon in Capricorn is about emotional control and kindness. While ambition is necessary, forcing things or being too hard on yourself (or others) will only drain your energy. Discipline is important, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of joy. A balanced approach—one that combines logic, emotion, and patience—will get you much further than rigid expectations.

The Last Quarter Moon in Gemini urges you to clear your mind. Overthinking, anxiety, or repetitive thoughts could be holding you back. Instead of dwelling on uncertainties, take a step back. Organize your thoughts, talk things out, and refocus on what you do want rather than what you fear. The mind is a powerful tool, but left unchecked, it can become its own worst enemy.

Hope it resonates do lmk your thoughts below! See you next time

[edwardteachswombtattoo]

The interior of Ed and Stede's relationship is well-tread both in analysis and the show itself. We know why they fall for each other, how they fall for each other, when they fall for each other. We've been inside their heads. We could, if we wanted to, probably compile a rough timeline of events from Point A (Ed hearing of Stede's existence) to Point Z (Ed and Stede retiring from piracy to open an inn). Has anyone done that? Someone should do that. I might do that.

But a thread the show keeps pulling on from their first meeting all the way to the end of Season 2 is the persistent showing that no one else seems to fully understand what Ed and Stede have going on.

There are exceptions to this. Lucius with his emotional intelligence and arguably the whole crew of The Revenge understand that Ed and Stede feel something for each other that is somewhat outside the framework. The Revenge is a safe space where they are allowed to explore and hold feelings like that and their influence (Stede's, but really the whole crew's) outgrows the ship and spills out into the wider culture of piracy. They don't fundamentally change the whole culture of piracy, but their influence forces characters who would otherwise be immovable and rigid in their personal philosophies (Anne and Mary Read, Zheng Yi Sao, Auntie, Ned Low's crew, etc.) to rethink their relationships with each other.

I already made a post about Jack and how he seems to think Stede is just a passing fascination, so I won't repeat myself. But this is not the first nor will it be the last time a character fundamentally misunderstands how much Ed cares about Stede. Izzy in Season 1 legitimately believes that Stede's death will force Ed back to normal, to the extent that he does not even try to comfort or console Ed during Stede's almost-execution. And he is caught totally caught off guard when Ed gives up his life to save Stede's.

Ned Low demonstrates an awareness of something being there, but he dismisses it the same way Jack did: Ed only cares about Stede because he's new and interesting. Ed will move on once that shiny new pirate smell wears off. "Ed only cares because you're interesting" and "Ed only cares because you're inexperienced".

These are easy assumptions to make when you only have one half of the picture. And when you don't understand that Ed exists as a multi-faceted whole thinking person outside of his Blackbeard persona and piracy. The distinction between "Blackbeard" and "Ed" was made very early on (Ed introducing himself as "Ed") and reinforced later with "His name is Ed". When other characters refer to Ed, it's useful to ask: are they talking about Ed or Blackbeard? Ed and Blackbeard are not fundamentally distinct personalities, but Blackbeard is a performance and a mask Ed puts on. His arc at the end of Season 2 deals with reconciling his past, Blackbeard, The Kraken, and all these other facets of himself into one cohesive person who is just called Ed.

Yeah, Ed is fascinated by Stede's things. His fabrics, his wardrobe, the model ship, the secret passages, the books. But even from their first meeting, Ed and Stede are not just connecting over Stede's clothes and his books. Ed is sharing his love of soft things with someone for probably the first time in his life, he's being vulnerable and truthful. He remains guarded through their first interactions, but he's being more open and candid than Blackbeard would be. "Do you fancy a fine fabric?" is not a question Blackbeard would answer honestly. And when Ed casually makes the reveal ("I'm Blackbeard") in the auxiliary wardrobe, Stede does not treat him any differently after the fact. Everyone else is like "big scary pirate Blackbeard!!" but Stede is like "That's Ed :) He's my friend :) He's very cool and he likes fabrics and did I mention he is my friend?? :)"

Ned Low, Izzy Hands, and Jack all ask the question Why does Blackbeard care so much about this fucking muppet? and collectively decide it must be because Stede clearly does not know what he's doing and/or he has a lot of cool stuff and Ed is into that shit. And there is a part of Ed who probably did at one point think it was just Stede's stuff he was into, that he just wanted what Stede had and then realized it was not about the fancy stuff it was about Stede as a person. That is why Ed starts to really fall for Stede at the end of "The Best Revenge is Dressing Well". They have their intimate moment and Ed is like oh fuck I might be in love with this guy for real oh fuccccck I want to kiss him so baddddd oh shit oh fuck. I've always been of the (maybe controversial? idk) opinion that Ed was flirting during their first meeting and making it obvious as possible he was DTF if Stede was into that, which is the maximum amount of physical intimacy and wanting Ed could allow himself to express without getting scared. He wasn't full bright lights in love with Stede at first sight, but he was infatuated at first conversation.

Interestingly, we never see this on the other side. It is always assumed that Stede just doesn't understand Ed, that he doesn't understand how Ed really feels about him and if he only knew The Real Ed (Blackbeard) he wouldn't have so many soft feelings. In Season 2, Stede is continuously confused when people suggest Ed might try to kill him. Because Stede alone knows that the last time Ed tried that, he ended up having a panic attack and hiding in Stede's bathtub. Izzy tries to pull the whole "you don't know him like I do" and Stede rebukes that fucking instantly by describing Ed's entire mindset in a single sentence while Izzy was just last season struggling to understand Ed's sudden shift in behavior. Izzy sees a change in Ed's behavior and is at a loss to understand, while Stede sees a change in Ed's behavior and instantly clocks what is going on.

"You don't actually know him" is how outsiders rationalize Stede's feelings about Ed and "he's just a momentary bit of fun" is how outsiders rationalize Ed's feelings for Stede.

The key to these intimate moments between Ed and Stede is that they really are between Ed and Stede. Ed never shares these memories with anyone. Even when he's talking with Mary Read in "Fun and Games", he brings up the stabbing because it's relevant and then tries to brush it off a little by saying he had to force Stede to do it and calling Stede "fragile". He does not even allude to the intimacy of that moment and his own being vulnerable. Stede and Lucius are the only people Ed reveals those parts of himself to.

[pedropascallme]

☆Kinktober 2024☆

Day 11: Blindfold

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI!!!!) oral (m receiving), p in v sex, kind of a power struggle but Joel is pretty happy to let you take control for once, some dirty talk, use of a blindfold, creampie, if I missed anything please let me know!

“Hss—not so tight, sweetheart,” Joel reached behind his head, swatting at your hands as you tightened the blindfold around his eyes. “Try’na kill me?”

“It’s around your eyes, Joel, not your neck…” You pushed his hands away, tying a messy bow. “And don’t give me ideas.”

He laughed, letting his head fall back against your chest once you’d removed your hands.

“One thing at a time.” He leaned into you, and the mattress creaked beneath him as he shifted his weight.

You moved to kneel at his side on the bed, cupping his cheek in your palm to make him face you.

The black fabric—a piece of some spare article of clothing that wouldn’t be missed—covered his eyes, spanning down to the middle of his nose.

He looked good.

Obscured, slightly, but good.

You’d broached the subject nights ago, lying on his chest in the large bed.

The comfort of the house and the surrounding Jackson area offered a new brand of safety that was unfamiliar to you, and it unshackled you from the burden of responsibility.

You could close your eyes. You could speak at a normal volume.

You could be reckless.

“What if…” You stared up at him, a glint of mischief in your eyes as you spoke.

He had craned his neck to look down at you, raising a brow, coaxing you to finish your sentence.

“Maybe I should blindfold you. Next time we fuck.” You said, and it came with a sense of finality, just happy to have spoken the words into existence.

“Absolutely not.” Joel scoffed, shaking his head.

“Why not?” You smiled, pushing yourself up, planting your hands on his chest.

“Cause half the fun of fuckin’ you is seein’ you.” Joel’s fingers ghosted over your arm.

“But isn’t the most fun part feeling me?” You purred, pressing yourself into him and nosing at his neck.

“You gonna make me choose my favorite part?” He chuckled lowly, “We’re gonna be here all night.”

“Just think about it, Joel—if you can’t see me, you can really focus on how I feel…” You kissed his jaw, pushing yourself back down the bed ever so slightly to curl yourself into his side.

He had mumbled something about you being a fuckin’ minx, and how he thought you might kill him, and then the conversation was over.

A week later, you’d come home to a strip of fabric on the bed, a small note that read “You’re on.”

Now here you were: looking at the man you were meant for, smirking at the knowledge that he couldn’t look back at you.

It was arousing. You greeted your newfound source of power with a sigh, leaning into him, brushing your lips to his.

“Lie down, Joel.” You pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him back onto the bed until he was flat on the mattress.

“Knot’s pressin’ into my fuckin’ skull…” He grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips; a ghost of amusement at the way you had so quickly fallen into your new role.

“You’ll forget about it,” you straddled his legs, beginning to undo his belt. “Promise.”

You made quick work of unzipping his jeans, tugging the denim down a bit to allow yourself the space to pull his cock from his boxers.

He hissed at your touch, the softness of your palms as you wrapped your fingers around him.

His lack of awareness, his inability to calculate what you were doing and what you might do next, heightened the suspense.

Joel was left in anticipation, relying on his less than fantastic hearing, and wondering what you would do with him.

It made him painfully hard.

You could tell. His cock throbbed in your hand; the soft skin that stretched over his rock-hard length became an angrier red the closer you got to the tip, and arousal dripped from him.

You leaned forward, taking him in your mouth. You swished your tongue over his cockhead. Rather than focusing on just the tip, you pushed down immediately, taking as much of him as you could, wrapping your mouth around him and hollowing your cheeks.

Joel let out a strangled moan, hand flying to the back of your head.

“Christ—shit, there you go…” He tugged at your hair absentmindedly, head thrown back, cursing through his teeth. “Pretty fuckin’ mouth.”  

You mewled, letting the vibrations travel through his core, and he rocked his hips shallowly, beckoning you. Begging you.

You kept your hands busy. One stroked the base of his cock, dragging over him rhythmically, in time with your mouth; the other traveled lower, cupping his balls, massaging him with little pattern, simply a method to further his pleasure in even the slightest of ways.

It worked. Joel groaned wantonly, pushing against your hands with his body, so unbelievably engrossed by the feeling of you.

You had been right—every sense was heightened, and it was driving him wild.

And he could take the blindfold off. He could hook a finger beneath it and yank it up his face, could allow himself the joy of seeing you between his thighs. He could take back his power.

But he didn’t really want to.

“Come—come sit on my cock,” despite the overwhelming experience, his voice remained level—stoic, even, as he tested just how much control you thought you had. “Come on, sweetheart.” But he faltered, letting slip his sense of urgency as he tried to goad you into fucking him properly.

“But I thought you loved having my mouth…” You were playing coy, smirking up at him despite the fact that he couldn’t see you.

He tugged on your hair, adding more pressure to your scalp. “I said come here.” It was a weak demand, but you smiled at the way he was so desperate to keep control, even after pushing himself into your mouth while he whined.

So you conceded, allowing yourself a few more moments of feeling the weight of him in your mouth before pulling yourself off and moving up his body.

But you didn’t give in completely. You dragged yourself over his spit-coated length, grinding down onto his cock where it lay over his stomach and watching it slide between your folds, occasionally nudging your clit.

Joel whimpered, a needy sound that came up from his throat, and his hands reached out for your hips. You swatted him away.

“You said—you said no lookin’, not no touchin’,” he gritted out, locked in a battle with you as you continued to evade his grasp.

“I’m changing the rule.” You shot back.

He acquiesced, allowing you to press his arms against the bed. He could easily overpower you—you both knew it for a fact—but he was giving in because he liked it.

He really liked it.

You removed your hands from his arms, reaching beneath yourself to grab the base of his cock.

He sighed at the feeling, a warm sentiment that was cut short when you, without warning, sank down onto him in one go; sheathing his cock inside your eagerly waiting cunt until his balls pressed against the swell of your ass.

You whined, feeling the stretch of him, the way your cunt turned malleable to mold you into a cocksleeve for him even when you held the power.

“Fuck!” Joel disregarded your prior note, hands flying to grip your waist. “God, this pussy…”

“Do you feel good, Joel?” You began to roll your hips, disallowing him the chance to collect himself. “Don’t you like it? Being able to feel me like this? So completely?”

He didn’t respond—couldn’t respond, not with the way your cunt swallowed him; the gummy pressure of your walls around him; the way he could actively feel every drip of your slick that trailed down his cock.

He sat up, burying his face in your chest, mouthing at your tits and groaning into your skin as he bucked his hips up into you.

You yourself struggled to keep your composure. His writhing beneath you, his pleading movements, it engulfed your body and lit small fires across your skin that seeped down into your core, lighting the powder keg that was your pleasure, and waiting for it to explode.

Your cunt squeezed him, and your movements became less calculated. The once thought-out swipe of your hips over him was reduced to desperate grinding.

And he felt it. He felt all of it; the tightening of your walls, the desperation in the way you rode him, the blunt edges of your nails as they dug crescents into the skin of his chest.

And he felt a surge of the familiar dominance come back to him.

“Good girl,” he panted, “I feel it, baby—right on my cock like that. Good girl.”

That’s what did it, his gentle coaxing, the way his unbridled want oozed from his words, and the way he thrusted into you.

You came with a whimper, your stammered movements over his cock serving to deepen the feeling that heated you from within.

Joel wasn’t far behind.

“Shit—Jesus, sweetheart, fuck me like that. That’s it…” He was grinding himself into you, eager to feel every pulse of you around him.

The suspense he felt, unable to see you, but feeling and hearing you ride out your high above him—because of him—heightened his own release, and he pushed you down against him, pressing himself as deep into you as he could.

He came with a low moan, shooting thick, warm ropes into your cunt.

You collapsed on top of him, sweaty and spent and satisfied.

His hands stayed on your hips, rubbing his thumbs over your skin before sweeping his palm over your back.

You grabbed at the fabric over his eyes, gently yanking it up to gift him his vision back.

“Untie it f’me,” he muttered, hand squeezing your waist. “Wanna see how it looks on you’.”

[changbunnies]

One & Only (18+)

♡ Pairing: Boyfriend!Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: fluff, smut, pre-established relationship, some light plot to establish the setting, college au but it's a background detail

♡ Word Count: 4.6k

♡ Summary: Following a perfect Valentine's Day date, you decide you're ready for the next step in your relationship with Chan. You want him, and you know he wants you- and the only thing left to do is tell him exactly how you feel.

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): petnames (pretty, baby) corruption kink, virgin + inexperienced reader, mutual masturbation, fingering (f rec), handjob

♡ Notes: i wanted to upload something short (compared to what i usually write anyways) for valentines day and i’ve been wanting to write corruption kink channie for a while now, so what better time to do it! i hope you enjoy <3

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

You sighed as you flopped on the bed, freshly changed into your pajamas- next to you lies Chan, your best friend and roommate turned boyfriend, easily the love of your life, and you nervously chew your bottom lip, faced with the choice of what to do next now that your first Valentine's Day as a couple had come to an end. Returning to your shared apartment, nerves rattling away at you as you changed out of your prettiest, formal dress and now on the bed, trying your best not to overthink your situation. 

If you were being blunt and honest, you just really wanted to have sex with him- or at least take the next step in that direction. But the thought of it was utterly nerve wracking; every time he looked at you with his handsome, dimpled smile and pretty brown eyes, and you pictured seeing that same expression while he was hovering over you in your newly shared bed, it made your heart race out of control.

After an awkward, impromptu confession that led to you becoming a couple, the two of you slowly began sharing your space, until one day you stopped going back forth between bedrooms and decided to just share one. You chose your room to share in the end- Chan, the gentleman that he is, let you have the larger room when you moved into this apartment as roommates, and it was the natural choice when deciding which of you would be moving their belongings into the other room. And it was nice, exciting even, to help Chan move his belongings into your space until it became not justs yours but his too. 

But lately, sharing a bedroom served a problem- now that you slept in the same bed every night, you were becoming increasingly more aware of how badly you want him. And thanks to being friends and roommates before you were together, you knew had experience- experience that you felt you were sorely lacking. And it's not like you ever felt shame over the fact that you were still a virgin in college (as it's much more realistic than tv shows and movies would lead you to believe) but somewhere deep down you worried your lack of experience would make things awkward and unenjoyable.

That awareness of experience was equal, because in turn Chan was well aware of your sexual history (or lack thereof). You knew he wouldn't judge you, he would never be anything but kind and considerate, but it was hard to prevent self doubt from digging its claws into your embarrassingly fragile heart. You knew it was silly to feel this way knowing all that you do about Chan's character and his care for you that extends beyond titles of friend or girlfriend, but your nerves ate away at you regardless.

You kissed people before Chan, and that was unfortunately the extent of your prior experience. Your kisses were shared with fleeting crushes in high school, inside the confines of short lived relationships that never made it past first base. You didn't mind at the time- you weren't ready for more then, and you weren't going to compromise on sex just to keep a relationship going. But now here you were, an adult with little to no experience; and now that you were ready you were plagued by the idea that all of the awkwardness and exploration you could've gotten past in your adolescence will now be Chan's burden.

He wouldn't actually view it as such, you knew for a complete fact that he wouldn't- but the thing about self doubt is that logical thought does little to prevent it from taking root. And you felt terrible because Chan noticed you were feeling off since coming back to the apartment following your date; of course he did, he always noticed when you weren't acting like your usual self. You had such a perfect date together and now you were ruining it with your virginal rumination.

"What's on your mind, pretty?" Chan asks as he tucks the fallen hair behind your ears, the beautiful necklace he gifted you as your date came to a close perfectly adorning your neck. A silver locket in the shape of a heart, with dainty gems accented into the patterned engraving, which you opened to find a picture of the two of you after your first date. It was so perfect that you were speechless, and he admitted it took him months of saving to afford it (which was why your Christmas gift was something much less expensive in comparison and instead purely sentimental.)

"I-I'm sorry, I just.." you swallowed as you looked at him, your heart squeezing both from your nerves and from just how soft his expression is. "I was just thinking.. that I want to do more than just.. makeout, y'know..?"" You try your best not to blush from the admission, especially not when he starts smiling at you, but you can't stop your face from burning, and you turn your gaze away from his eyes, embarrassment taking its hold.

"Baby, look at me," he speaks softly but you can hear the smile in his voice before you even meet his gaze again to see it. It's a gentle smile that relays sweetness and care, but there's an underlying excitement beneath; because while he would never do anything to rush or pressure you along, he obviously wants more too. You're gorgeous, his best friend, his dream girl- of course he wants you. "You sure? I know it's a special day but we don't have to rush it or anything. I've already got the perfect gift."

You smile- timidly, but genuinely. He's so impossibly sweet, always; it's one of the main reasons why you fell for him in the first place. "Yeah, I'm sure- and I promise it's not just because it's Valentine's Day. I've been thinking about it, and I really want to, I'm just.. nervous is all. I've never.. you know.." You hesitantly meet his stare, your hand now nervously and unconsciously fiddling with the locket he gifted you that hangs from your neck.

It’s unceremonious the way his cock starts to throb from your timid words alone, almost shameful. He doesn't even know how much further than making out you're even going to go, but his body reacts regardless, independently from his brain that recognizes your need for slow, careful affection. There’s a million things he wants to say- “we’ll go slow” or “I’ll take care of you” or even “I love you” but his brain practically short circuits when you lift yourself from the pillows, locket dangling as you come closer to him, leaning down to press your lips to his. 

A moment of confidence? Or maybe you already knew all the things he’d say and didn’t need to hear them? You’re not entirely atop him- that’s still a step too far in uncharted territory, but this at least.. Kissing him is something you can do without getting in your own head about experience and desirability. His fingers rest behind your ear, his thumb stroking your cheek as he kisses you- softly and slowly at first, the way he always does. It’s always a build up, his lips taking their time, his every caress careful but deliberate. 

He always makes your heart race when he kisses you, makes your stomach do somersaults and blood run hot. Nerves aside, it’s undeniable how much you want him. One hand on his chest and the other in his hair, he’s careful when sits up from the bed to adjust your positions, conscious to not cause you to remove your hands from his body as you move in tandem with him. You let him lay you back down, catching just a glimpse of him hovering over you before your eyes are closing again as he kisses you. When his tongue licks your lips, you open your mouth to him without so much as a thought- it’s automatic, innate the way you welcome him into you. 

It always makes you dizzy, the way Chan’s tongue dances around yours, swirling and building the excitement from deep within your gut to new heights you didn’t know possible. This time however, there’s an added desire, his kisses and gentle touches more impassioned with the promise that you’ll be giving him more; more skin to kiss and touch, to feel under his calloused fingertips, to admire and love and venerate. You’re all he wants, all he’s ever wanted, really; and he wants you to know, desperately wants to show you how much he desires you. 

One arm holds his weight up while the hand on your face starts to trail away, fingers tracing the skin it travels over. Careful, slow, deliberate- it’s foreign but comfortable, somehow. When he hesitates, you affirm, you chase his touch, you pull him back, you silently plead with desperate eyes and eager breaths. Your face grows hot when your shirt comes off, his gaze hungrier when met with the sight of your bare chest, nipples hardened more so from the building anticipation than from the cool air. 

He wants to dote on you- call you cute, caress your burning cheeks, kiss the blush on your face and feel the heat of it on his lips. So he does, slowly so as to not overwhelm you, word choice careful as to not embarrass you. Your cheeks burn brighter, but you smile; a cute, shy one that his cock reacts to in equal measure to his heart. Pretty, beautiful, cute, he says it all as he starts to trail his kisses around the shell of your ear and to your neck. 

And you’re shy, impossibly so, but you indulge in the affection, as happy as you are timid and out of your depth. You can count on a single hand the amount of times he started kissing your neck during a makeout session, and you were always left wanting more but were much too sheepish to admit your building desire. But after that first time, when you were in the bathroom that night and saw the trail of small, just barely visible bruises left behind on your neck, you knew- you wanted more, and he was being considerate, holding back for your sake. 

You didn’t need that anymore, nor did you want him to- don’t hold back, don’t hesitate, leave your mark for all to see, touch and kiss and suck wherever you want. That’s what you want to tell him, but it’s hard to formulate that thought into words when the feeling of his lips on your neck and fingers ghosting over your nipples makes your brain grow fuzzy. He’ll get the hint though, you think, when you tilt your head to the side to allow him easier access to your skin and a whine leaves your lips. 

He can feel your body tremble, can hear and feel your breath hitch when his attention to your skin grows in intensity. Harsher sucks to your pulse point, more deliberate rubs of your nipples between his fingers- still careful, but no longer entirely delicate, as if you’re made of porcelain. No, his touches are now firmer, with more purpose and intention, more confidence now that it’s clear your admission of wanting more was not something said just to appease his growing desire to have you. 

He throbs when he pulls back to look at you; face flushed, skin varying in shades of pink and red, breath a near pant, hair fanned out and growing messy, the locket he gave you still staring back at him in the middle of it all. His fingers trail over it and you watch him carefully, trying to gauge what he’s feeling. “Should I take it off..?” you ask, wondering if it’ll get in the way somehow and he quickly shakes his head, leaning back down to you, his lips just barely touching yours. 

“Fuck no, leave it on. I love seeing it on you like this. Like-” he stops a moment, carefully considering if what he’s going to say will scare you off. But fuck it, you’re all being honest tonight, right? So why shouldn’t he say what he’s really thinking? “Like you’re mine. All mine,” he finally says, and though shy, you smile as you expertly play into it, feeding his fantasies. “I am yours Channie, I’m always yours.” Oh, you really have him now (as if he wasn’t already impossibly yours to begin with- you don’t even know the depth of his belonging to you.) 

Chan thought about you like this so many times- for years if he's being honest. He always felt guilty; the way he fantasized about you, his best friend for all his formative years and then his roommate, spread out for him and crying his name, clutching him so tightly that your nails dig into his skin. He just couldn't control it, and even his dreams, which were once innocent in nature (if you could believe it), you were there, whimpering on his cock, back arching as hushed whispers of praise were spoken into your ears, your eyes rolling back and drool escaping the corner of your parted lips. 

He wanted you, fuck, he wanted you, always have and he’s sure he always will. A single kiss and then he’s pulling back again, his hands trailing just over the hem of your pajama shorts. You unconsciously hold your breath, and maybe it’s his ability to read the nerves all over your expression that lead him to hesitate, capturing your gaze with sweet consideration despite how much he yearns to see all of you. “Nervous?” he asks and you nod, thankful when he kisses away the tension building in your body. 

“It’s okay if you’re not ready for that yet,” he reassures you, taking his hands away from your hips and instead moving them up to your waist, where he knows you’re comfortable with his touch. “I-I am, I want to, I promise! It’s just..” you trail off, and Chan offers you a sweet smile, stroking your cheek as you once again fumble nervously with the locket on your neck. “It’s a lot, I know,” he finishes for you, and you’re relieved he understands (not that you even suspected otherwise- he’s always been the sweetest guy you know.) 

He returns to kissing you softly and sweetly, his hands exploring the regions he knows you to be ready for, never wandering too far below your stomach. When he pulls away, your curiosity gets the better of you- you look where he rests between your legs, his erection noticeably straining in his sweatpants, a wet patch of what can only be pre-cum darkening the gray fabric. While you feel shy looking at it, Chan seems to welcome the curiosity, a slight smile playing on his lips. “Want to see it?” he asks and you gulp, tearing your eyes away to look back at his face. “Y-Yeah, can I..?” 

“Course, baby,” he replies easily, his smile growing ever so slightly as he straightens up to remove his pants. You swallow, blush flaring as you watch him slide his sweatpants and boxers down his legs. Rather than returning to his spot between your legs, he settles next to you, sitting up against the headboard and making himself comfortable. Chan looks at you, watching as your eyes travel and drink him in; you take notice of how his cock twitches as you stare, how pre-cum steadily drips from the tip, how prominently his vein runs down the length of it.

You're not sure what words are appropriate when it comes to describing your feelings towards seeing him bare, but you know you like it- you really like it. Your gaze makes him throb- desire, need, love, all wrapped together with a pretty ribbon of innocence and purity. He's being patient, but fuck, he wants to ruin you, wants to see your eyes well with pretty tears and body painted with ropes of his cum. "Do you want to touch it?" he asks, hopeful and raging with want- for you, your touch, your kiss, your pleasured voice, everything.

"Y-Yes, but.. I don't know how to.. how do I make you feel good..?" you ask with the cutest pout he's ever seen, and he truly feels like his heart is getting struck by lightning; you're going to drive him insane with need before the night is over. "I can show you," he offers, smiling when you quickly nod. You're amazed by how confidently he takes it in his hand, not a single ounce of shyness to be found in his actions, unlike you; you wonder if you'll ever be the same- able to act without timid embarrassment eating away at you.

Even compared to his large hands, Chan's cock appears impossibly thick, and you swallow as you watch him collect pre-cum from the head before he spreads it down the entirety of his length. His fingers trace the vein before he takes it fully in his hand, his gaze entirely fixed on your face as he starts to slowly pump himself. You swallow, completely mesmerized, the butterflies in your stomach thrashing violently. You look back up to his face when you hear his breath shudder, blush growing with the realization that your stare had an effect on him.

When Chan lets himself look away from your face, he notices the way your thighs press together, how you squirm in place as you watch him, yearning for touch- and it gives him an idea. "Can I-" he exhales a shaky breath, fisting his cock just the slightest bit faster when you meet his gaze again, "Can I see how you make yourself feel good too? Can you show me?" Your face burns hotter, your legs pressing harder together as his question rings in your ears. You swallow, impossibly nervous but equally as excited, and you nod timidly after a few moments of careful consideration.

"Y-Yeah, okay," you mumble as you shift your position to get your pajamas and panties down your legs. You timidly watch his expression as you settle yourself across from him, aware enough that he should have a good view of everything (even if the action of spreading your legs for him makes you want to cover your face in embarrassment.) Chan exhales another breath as he tightens his grip on his cock, licking his lips when he sees just how wet you are. You're dripping and it's all for him, because of him- finally, his dreams become realized.

Similarly to what he did to himself, you rub your fingers up and down between your folds, gathering the arousal on your fingers before you bring them to your aching clit. You bite your lip, shy as ever and embarrassed by the noises that leave you. You close your eyes in an effort to ebb away the shyness and focus on the pleasure, but you're still starkly aware of his presence, of his eyes watching your every move. You can hear his low groans and harsh breaths, can hear the sound of his fist pumping faster when you let out another whimper between your bitten lip.

It astounds you how something this embarrassing can also be so arousing- you don't think you've ever been more excited than you are now, and the mess between your thighs and under your ass is definitely a testament to that. As the moment continues, with you timidly opening your eyes to watch him again, he doesn't fail to notice that you focus entirely on your clit, so he has to ask- "Do you ever- fuck- put your fingers inside?"

God, as if your face isn't already hot enough- but it's a fair question, and you answer as best you can between the noises you fail to keep internal. "S-Sometimes, but- it's- I don't-" you try, though you fail to formulate the words you wish to say; partly due to pleasure fogging your brain, and partly due to not even knowing how to phrase your thoughts the best in the first place. "It's hard? Doesn't feel as good?" Chan takes an educated guess, and you nod, relieved he found the words for you.

He understands- your fingers are dainty, and it must be hard trying to get them angled deep, hard to find the spot that makes you see stars when you have to contort your body to barely comfortable positions. "If you want- if you're comfortable, I can.. do it for you..? Help you?" Oh. If you're being honest, you've thought about how good his fingers must feel so many nights while touching yourself, wondering about how good they'd make you feel, how expertly they'd make you cum. "R-Really? You want to?" you ask- perhaps a stupid question, but there's still a part of you that can't even believe he's attracted to you, even this far into your relationship.

"God, yes, isn't it obvious? C'mere, baby," Chan beckons you back to him, and you oblige. You crawl your way back to your spot next to him, sitting on your knees but with your legs still spread apart. He takes his dominant hand off his cock, bringing it instead between your legs, slowly rubbing and getting his fingers wet enough to slide easily inside. His opposite hand resumes the motion on his cock, and you unconsciously tremble- both because of the hand between your legs, and because the sight before you is so fucking hot (to put it bluntly.)

"You're so fucking sexy," Chan utters, starting with just one finger, pressing it inside slowly, and your reaction is immediate- body shuddering as a gasp escapes you, biting your lip as he pumps his finger slowly, ensuring you're comfortable and adjusted before he adds another. "Pretty, so pretty," he continues, the tips of fingers rub your deepest parts with hardly any effort on his part, and when he finds your sensitive spot you positively jolt, every nerve constricting as if thrown in an ice bath, body tense, stomach clenching as the pleasure builds.

"My gorgeous fucking baby- feels good, doesn't it?" he asks, a theoretical question with no expected answer, but you're whining and nodding your head, your hips acting independently of the rest of you, rolling and bouncing and chasing every ounce of pleasure that can be derived from Chan's fingers. He presses his thumb to your clit, simply keeping pressure there as the motion of riding his fingers provides all the friction you need.

"C-Channie, feels so good, think I'm gonna-" before you can finish voicing the words, you're gasping and crying out. You're hot, your dripping with sweat, you're utterly floating as you're hit with wave after wave of explosive pleasure. He doesn't dare remove his fingers until you've finished riding it out, but to his surprise, you grab his wrist when he starts to pull his hand away, your eyes glassy and pleading.

"More? Please, more?" you ask so sweetly, and again he throbs, licking his lips as he takes in the sight of you- debauched, dewy, and flushed, world shattered in the best way possible. "Yeah baby, I can give you more. Course I can," Chan says before he's thrusting his fingers inside as if there was never a pause. Your eyes roll back as you bite your lip, your grip on his wrist tightening as you grind down against his fingers, always meeting them halfway.

When you open your eyes to look at him again, you can't help but notice that the pace of the hand on his cock is sloppy and uneven, and while you doubt you'll fare much better, you decide to take over for him, to try to please him just as much as he has you. You hear him utter a quiet curse as he takes his hand away, letting you replace it with your own. It's a sight, a feeling, that he wants engraved in his memory- you, riding his fingers while your hand desperately pumps his cock, giving him your best effort and trying your hardest to make him cum despite how much your arousal fills your brain with fluff.

"Fuck, baby-" he groans, reaching his hand out to the nape of your neck, pulling you down to capture your lips in a kiss, his tongue shoving it's way in your mouth before you can even process that your lips are touching. His hips buck when your thumb glides over the tip, sensitive and leaking, your soft hands sticky and wet and perfect. You hold his gaze when the kiss breaks, all your shy tendencies and thoughts of embarrassment seeming to fade to the very back of your mind, replaced entirely by desire and need- not just to cum again, which you unmistakably want, but to watch Chan cum too, to watch him fall apart and know that it was all thanks to you.

The room is filled with the slick sounds of your hands working each other, of heavy, panting breaths, of low groans from Chan and barely restrained, quiet whimpers from you, a sinful symphony played exclusively for your own ears. "Oh fuck, fuck-" he grits out, clenching his jaw and brows knitting together as he tries to stave his orgasm off long enough to watch you fall apart again first.

You can feel his vein pulsing beneath your fingers, can feel him twitch and throb, and there's a sense of pride you've never felt before that comes with it- it doesn't just feel good to cum, you realize, it feels good to watch your lover cum too, to be the reason they're losing composure and falling apart. "Y-You're close, Channie? Gonna cum?" He groans as he nods, licking his drying lips as his head falls back, unsure if he can hold it back much longer than he already has.

"Yeah baby, gonna- gonna cum for you, fuck-," Chan, who knows it's only a matter of seconds before he has no choice but to let go, mercilessly targets your sweet spot, his fingers all but drilling into it as his thumb rubs messy circles on your clit. Your hips stutter before your body seizes with overwhelming pleasure, the pace of your hand on Chan's cock faltering as your eyes roll back and you surrender yourself to the blissful sensation washing over you.

Chan follows quickly, the sight of you cumming again on his fingers breaking the already impossibly thin line holding him together, hot cum shooting out and spilling on his chest and stomach. You collapse next to him, legs aching (your knees especially) and body utterly exhausted. Your shyness returns when he turns his head to look at you with a sweet smile on his lips, and you blush as you return the smile.

You're both messy, in desperate need of a shower and a change of bedsheets before you actually sleep, but you bask in the moment regardless. He reaches for a tissue on the nightstand to clean the cum off his stomach before it dries and becomes a pain to wash off, and the moment it's done you're back in his arms, being hugged tight with kisses pressed to your forehead, your warm cheeks, and then your lips.

You curl into him, one of your hands holding the locket as you return his affection, pouring all your unspoken love and affection into the kiss you share. Your first Valentine's Day of hopefully a lifetime more, your joy immeasurable, your love boundless; a perfect day with an equally perfect end. You tell him you love him as he helps you clean up in the shower, he tells you he loves you as he helps you get dressed before he dresses himself, you share “i love you”s as you relax into each other in bed. You sleep, happy and warm and loved, secure in the knowledge that truly, this is only the beginning, and there’s still years worth of experiences left to share.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Flowers For You

‘Poof’ Periwinkle Fairywinkle-Cosma x Reader

Authors note: @clownsgirlghost You asked, Gimmie yo life force/jk

Sum: You’ve always been utterly obsessed with folklore. Fae, Crypteds, what have you. You respected them, the traditions, even when people made fun of you for it. You didn’t care. You loved them, and it seem’s like the gesture has been returned.

Warnings: Bullying, religious metaphor’s, paganism, assholes to witches, my attempt at accurate folk lore, and a shitty attempt because I only know so much from a show I don’t have access to

“There goes that weirdo again. Stay away, might get cursed.” You would listen to them gossip. Never seeming to actually try and keep it subtle. You didn’t care, you were living your life. Well, trying to. It eats at you after a while. No matter how strong you were.

You would just sigh, as you just wanted to return home already. Had been such a long day. Shopping was a pain, and you just wanted to go to bed. Buying dumb adult things like food and toiletries. Also some things to leave as offerings. You saw a beautiful bundle of periwinkle flowers.

A fairy circle had appeared in your backyard, and you wanted to show your respect to the Fae that use them. You kept your distance, and respected the ring of mushrooms. Even put rocks around it, to try and help protect it. It’s a small gesture, but you hope they know your intent. They should, unlike your neighbors.

Swore they could hear the jingling of your keys, as they were quick to look over their fences to face you. Trying hard to not be seen, as they knew what they were doing was wrong. Actually it was because they genuinely thought you were a weirdo that might throw mud at them.

“Just ignore them. Just ignore them. The richer the man, the dumber the man.” You would plead to yourself, wishing you never inherited this old house. Right in a Richie rich neighborhood. Hey, a free house is a free house. Especially in his economy. Not like you’ll ever be in a position to move.

You would sort out your groceries, and be back in your zen. Feeling calm with yourself. Taking out the flowers, gently trimming off the dead parts, just fluffing it up really. Wanting it to look its best, as if offering it to a physical person. Gave you calm, and comfort.

With the flowers made you would go out to your backyard. Right to the fairy ring. Rocks all around it, as to try and keep it safe when you mowed the lawn. To give it respect, and honor, with letting it have its own space. Even as far as to gently toss the flowers into the middle, as to not break its barrier.

“Witchcraft I tell you. Keep your animals inside. Might be used for some kind of satanic sacrifice.” You would over hear, as the rattle of collars echoed from behind the fence. Made your heart ache. You weren’t doing anything wrong, this was your practice. What makes it different from what they do?

You tried to fight your tears, as you turned your back to the ring. Just as you did, however, you heard a strange noise. You swore it sounded as if a rattle of chimes went off, while hitting a pillow case. It was such an other worldly sound, you just had to turn to look at it.

“Really? You really jumped into the nearest fairy circle you could?” “I WANTED TO GO TO FAIRY WORLD-!” “YOU COULD HAVE ENDED UP AT THE BOTTOM OF A LAKE!” “I CAN SWIM-!” On and on the shouting went between your neighbor Dev Dimmadome, and a strange floating man. Left you in shock, as they argued. Not quite aware of your existence. Left you to study them.

“And further more-! Hey! Move your sneakers-!” The bright, purply man, shouted. Fluttering wings were quick to zoom down, and scoop up the flowers. Dusting them off from the trampling, and seeming to make them bloom back to life. As if they were never harmed.

“Look at that! Periwinkles! I love these flowers! Yes I’m bias, because they are my colors, but still! I remember back when I was just a little basketball. Back when me and Timmy…..” The man seemed to trail off, as those glittering eyes seemed to sparkle for other reasons.

“Uh, Peri…..You can cry about your brother later, we got company-“ Dev would tug at the floating man’s pant leg, drawing his attention to you. Those pure eyes just seeming to stare through your soul, and through your heart. Taking in every mortal detail you offered, and seeming to be taken aback. As if watching a sunset for the first time.

Didn’t last long, before he seemed to panic. The flowers tossed high in the air, leaving Dev to try and catch them off. Seemed like Dev can care for other living creatures. Who knew! As if you could focus on that, as a massive purple book appeared. With the worlds ‘Da Rulz’ on the cover.

“WHAT DO I DO?! FAIRES CANT BE SEEN LIKE THIS! OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO-“ The poor, floating, man was in a panic. Not knowing what to do, while Dev would just casually walk up to you. Bundle of flowers still in hand, as he lower his shades a bit. Not all the way, but enough for you two to share eye contact.

You were one of the few people that ever gave a shit about him, and actually had human interaction with him. Not just his robot baby sitters, or just smoozed on him for his money. You didn’t have much, but you gave him something no one else did. Time. Time for him.

“Hey Witchy-“ A nickname he gave you, but like many friends it was a term of endearment and mockery at everyone else compared to actually an insult to you. Just a kid being a kid, and it was nice to have. Someone to just talk to you.

“So ya know how you always talked about fairies and folk lore and like Bigfoot and stuff? Yeah. That’s a fairy. Neat, huh?” He seemed to try and brag to you, as the poor fairy in question was still a panic mess. Just wanting to try and find an answer to his worries.

“Promise not to tell anyone?” He asked, as you slowly nodded. “Peri! Chill! Witchy is cool! Probs left the flowers even. You left the flowers, right? Course you did.” He more so said to himself.

That seemed to calm the fairy down, and make the book vanish. Ever so gently he would flutter over to you, as Dev returned the flowers to him. The bundle brought to his pointed nose, as he inhaled them. Lost in a memory, from childhood days. Days when he was with him.

“For me? Really? Like really really?” He asked, as his face was a brilliant pink. Was accompanied by intense fluttering of his wings. Much like how a person would wave their hands around when over stimulated, but in the positive way.

“I mean….Yeah. Yeah actually.” You nodded, as that was the intent. Never in your wildest dreams did you think something like this would happen. To very literally give flowers to a fairy, and to have the gesture enjoyed. Must be some kind of divine intervention.

“….Guess you would follow under a magical being identification, so I don’t need to worry…” Sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than anything, but at least he was calming down.

“Um….Do you two want to come inside?” You offered. Probably a bad idea to invite a fae inside, and definitely a good idea that Dev used your nickname then your real name. The number one rule is to never offer a fae your real name. But…..Never have you seen a fae design like him in stories. Maybe things were a little different. Especially since he seemed to be in some kind of connection with Dev.

“Hell yeah. I do NOT want to be around my old man right now. Come on Peri-!” And Dev ran inside, leaving you two alone. For him to keep fluttering those pale purple lashes, as he was just adoring the flowers you had bought. Just stuffing his face in them. Lost in the textures and smells.

“Thank you…..I….They remind me of my childhood. Miss those days…So I uh. Thanks, Witchy.” He smiled to you, as you blushed all the same. Not as intense as him, because you were a human, but it was returned.

“You don’t have anything good in here! Peri! I wish that Witchy’s house was full of food! The good kind! You know what I’m talking about!” You heard Dev shout. Ever the blunt one.

Before you could make a remark, you saw Peri raise the strange cane of his. That same magical sound went off, and it seemed to blow out of your open door way. This bloom of smoke, that vanished as quickly as it arrived.

You would hurry inside, more so to see if Dev was ok, to be met with your home filled with food. Cabinets full and organized. Fridge open with sodas and juices. Pantry with chips and canned goods. It was like you suddenly were a grocery store with the levels of goods.

“There we go-!” Dev said, as he sat on the counter. Just munching away on a bag of cookies. Just left you speechless. What do you even say to something like this? Such pure, literal, magic.

“Guess that’s one way to say thanks for the flowers.” Peri would snort, as he giggled into his flowers. As if just a bashful school girl. Left Dev eye rolling, but was contented to be anywhere but his place. A mansion doesn’t bring the warmth your home did.

“Told you Witchy was cool. Didn’t do that weird back breaking dance, no screaming, no kidnapping. Witchy is so mellow. That’s what I like.” Dev would use you to brag to this fairy companion. Had you worry a moment.

“Are you like, owned by Dev? Did he kidnap YOU? Are you trapped?” You worried, given what Dev said. Along with just how true the statements are. To steal them for power, and wishes. Which was just what Dev did.

“Yeah. I mean-! Not like that-! Like-Oh uh. I’ll start from the top-“ He was blushing even more now, somehow. Suppose your genuine worry touched him. Along with the fact that even though he literally stuffed your home with food you were worried about him. Not a single drop of green in your tongue.

“I’m a Fairy God Parent. We are, basically, step in parents for kids who are….Well….” He gave a nudge at you, as Dev didn’t seem to be paying attention much. Messing with his phone. Most likely to plan some kind of tech aligned experiment for his future mischief.

“I get it-“ You nodded, as it was clear now. A parental figure, that can help kids be kids. With wishes to their hearts, and rules in place to keep both parties safe. Made you understand the situation alot more. You were wondering why Dev seemed alot happier lately. And a lot less of an asshole. Something you marked up as out bursts from his troubled home, which you couldn’t blame him for lashing out about.

“Guess since you are definitely classified as a magical being, I’ll be seeing you a lot more now. Dev hates being at home. Yeah it’s got all the things money can buy, but if it filled the damn void I wouldn’t be here. Huh?” He snorted, as you nodded as well. Along with a laugh, as it was certainly an experience to hear a fairy swear.

“Will you two stop flirting and get over here? Hazel sent me a text. Something about burritos? Violent mood swings?” Dev more so muttered, as Peri seemed red alert now.

“WE CAN NO HAVE ANOTHER BABY! I swear if Dad is pregnant, again-“ That had you both staring at him, before Dev’s phone dinged. “Never mind, it was just gas.”

Peri gave a sigh of relief, but you both were gawking at him still. That’s when he snapped his fingers, before trying to fix his hair. Get himself back in fairy order, instead of being a blushing mess of anxiety and nerves.

“It’s….Oh it’s a long story-“ Peri huffed, as his cane seemed to turn into a hand mirror of sorts. Floating in the air, so he could properly fix his large curl. Along with sneak a few flowers into it.

“I’ve got time…..” You offered, as you grabbed a drink from the fridge. Just finally able to enjoy some time now. Just chilling with people, and not so worried about food right now. Able to actually savor it all.

“Well….It all started with a wish. Before you ask, that’s gonna be a massive staple to most of my insane stories I have-“ Peri warned, as even Dev seemed interested now. Chaos from wishes? Don’t mind if he do! Even held the carton of cookies to you, as you were both ready for the gossip now.

It honestly seemed to make Peri happy, and do that flutter of his eyelashes again. Those flowers back to being snuggled into his face, and his cane turning into a photograph. A picture with a green haired fairy, a pinker haired one, a bundle of purple cloth in their hands, and a little kid. With buck teeth, and a pink hat.

“It all started, with an average kid, who made a wish for my parents to have a baby…”

[uss-genderprise]

okay the new episode has people poking my sleeping special interest like a bear and it was about time to wake it from hibernation anyway so here are some fun facts about welsh fairies

it's spelled fairy. it's always spelled fairy. not faerie, faery, fae, or fey. fairy. please. or tylwyth teg if you want to be proper about it

fairies are not inherently malevolent. they work by their own rules that sometimes don't make sense to humans but there are rules, if you pay attention.

yes fairies will punish you for doing something they don't want you to do

they will also reward you for doing things they do want you to do

fairy rings are circles of green grass. they sometimes how up as a different shade of green than the grass around it and are generally markers of where fairies dance, as well as portals to the fairy realm. mushrooms aren't really a thing for that in welsh folklore.

string and bones and flowers are man-made and possibly supposed to bind or protect against fairies (though i haven't seen anything quite like what we see in the episode described in any of my sources) but generally breaking one of those doesn't immediately anger fairies, just lets them in to affect whoever put the ward up in the first place. that's not called a fairy circle.

changelings exist in welsh folklore. have fun with your theories.

fairies will generally let you leave the fairy world if you ask nicely. yes even if you've eaten the food and drank the drinks

however time moves differently so when you come back you might be super old and/or turn to dust the moment someone touches you

dancing is a different thing tho. they don't exactly want you to stay dancing with them until you die of exhaustion but like that's on you my dude get your friends to help you

if you broke fairy rules like kicking them out of their meadow to build a castle they will count eight* generations** and come back to turn that castle into a lake and drown everyone inside. you have been warned (repeatedly. usually by old ladies and/or bards and/or birds or sometimes just. A Voice™)

* the number of generations can and does vary but in welsh folklore it's generally 8 that's an important number, not 3 or 7.

** also the way generations are counted is. weird. idk if it's that i'm bad at math or bad at welsh or that the book i read explaining this is over 100 years old but i don't think i fully got how many generations this actually is.

oh and they only wait if you beg enough otherwise they kill you now

so basically. no getting trapped in the fairy world as punishment. they just kill you

personally i think the closest thing in welsh folklore to that old woman is a weird lady but even that isn't a great fit

yeah fairies bend time and space to always be far away from you if they want to but that's generally because they're trying to avoid you not following you at a distance

i am fully aware rtd probably couldn't care less about any of this. he definitely didn't do the work that i did to learn all this and incorporating this into your theories is probably shooting yourself in the foot as far as actually being correct goes. HOWEVER i do think it's more interesting and fun this way :) theories are gonna be wrong anyway might as well respect the culture that's inspiring them while we're at it yeah?

i will cite my sources if anyone asks but i doubt many people care to read hundreds of pages of edwardian non fiction novels just to fact check me. trust me on this guys

[feistyvirghoe]

₊˚ෆ𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑶𝑷𝑳𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼? 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑺 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑶𝑭𝑻𝑬𝑵? ༉‧₊˚.

!!ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ!!

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ꜰʀᴏᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʟꜱɪɴɢ, ɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴜᴛ, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜰ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴄᴏᴏʟ ʙᴀʙʏ ʙᴏᴏ! ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ!

ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴠᴀꜱᴛ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴘʟ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴜʀ ᴜɴᴅɪᴇꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴡɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ʙᴄ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇꜱᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ! <3

ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇʟʏ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴏ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ 18!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 1 >what people love about you guys is how expressive you are with whatever it is you’re doing, like you’re the ones to explore uncharted territory, the people that like to go do out of the box shit, you’re very adventurous, onto the next thing, the next step, i feel like it may be your unpredictability. it’s like a shock to other people, you doing your own thing, how passionate you are about it too. not letting dumb things get in your way, it’s as if you don’t have time for the drama. something about how fierce you are, it seems to wake something up in others. you get people’s attention and i think that scares them, you come off as intimidating but you just got your own, you really need no one to validate your existence. i feel like it’s because you listen, you don’t exclude people, true sweethearts, my lil feisty ass sweethearts. i feel like it may be your brattiness too, you have people engaged, i also feel like it’s the way you love others as well, you show up for people, i feel like others love the way they can count on you. not in a way to take advantage of you and if so clock that shit! i also am feeling you leaving shit behind that does not serve you, you know how people stay in shit situations bc they feel obligated to, well not u babe, you will get your ass up and leave, which u should! you don’t need to stick around and take on shit that’s irrelevant and will waste your damn time. i also feel like people like how you can see through other people’s bs. you’re aware of others weird intentions towards you, like u can feel it and/or see it as well and when u do you it may make you feel like you’re the problem solver, having solutions to the confusion in your life even if u think you don’t. it’s like you re-group, a lot of introspection and pondering, sitting there, listening to your inner self as well, when you put everything together, and it starts making sense you go from there and make the right decisions for yourself.

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 2 > im getting this cool feeling from you guys, like you’re the popular loner, the person who people wanna get close to but they can’t because you’re selective with who you hang around. i know that’s weird but people like how you enjoy your solitude, your peace, how you can keep to yourself, not like you don’t need people but you just don’t need the wrong people all up in your bubble, your safe space. but i also feel like people love how you embrace the chaos, change is like your middle name, you can easily adapt and let go of things that are out of your control, you know how to get out of your comfort zone. you’re someone who’s cutoff game is strong! you simply do not need anyone i swear this is the theme, YOUR INDEPENDENCE, you know that some things never last and shit is temporary. you know how that can irk some people, like they despise the chaos and they think that it’s punishment but you see it as an opportunity to grow and move on from the stuff that was bringing you down, maybe you just can’t take the unnecessary stagnation, like what are you waiting for, i feel like people love this about you, because you know there’s that sunrise that comes the next day. “if you got beef your problem not mine” you’re like a shocker to people, maybe it’s how you look, maybe it’s how your energy comes off to others but you’re just someone who fucking shows people. that shit can be done a different way. yes you know that it’s never really over and this ending or whatever has been broken down in your life is making way for something newer and better. i feel like people love how you can bring balance into your own life, your steady and confident on that tight rope which may be intimidating and extremely intense for others but you can handle that shit, a very transformational pile. people probably love how you bring change into their damn life but yours as well, maybe people are feeling outcasted by you but you just need time to do things alone and on your own, you’re always thinking and creating, some people may think that you’re full of yourself and that you may just want to cause problems but i feel like that’s there insecurity that they may want to rub off on you, like “oh pile 2 hot a big head” oh fucking please. just because you mind your fucking business and because you’re a natural leader, someone who’s in control but also knows that they’re not and that our creator can bring shit down and humble us whenever and you get that, you just fucking get it and if others don’t that’s all on them, you don’t seems to hold grudges and that may make people think that you’re somehow full of yourself because you think you’re better than the stupid drama and negative projections from people. just keep doing you and stay in your damn lane but u already know that! PERIOD!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 3 > i feel like the compliments you don’t receive is how beautiful you are, you’re such a magical manifestor, someone who takes the bull by its horns and starts doing, how you can create such beautiful things, whatever it may be, your skills, you seem smart as hell and i say that because you take advantage of this natural talent that’s within you, this was so weird but i was just getting like stalker fucking energy, like people like to watch u do shit, probably don’t wants you doing certain things bc they know how much abundance is within you but maybe you can’t see it clearly but others can. anyways, this is about you not those freaks. i feel like you’re such an inspiration to others with how quietly you do things. there is this mysteriousness about you guys. others don’t know too much about you and that seems to intrigue them, like “i need to know more more more about you!”jeeeeez!! its probably why that other shit came out, like people seem to yap a lot about you and what you have going on. people love how assertive you are, you’re not arrogant or rude but you just give off that stable personality. someone who’s taking that leadership role in any part of your life, whether that may be with school, work, home life, your friends, you’re someone who people can count on, you know how to balance your femme and masculine side, and we all need to, we can’t have one side overpowering the other you know, it causes a major disruption inside of us, and i also feel like it’s how you draw people in with how alluring you may be, you can do both, you can be very stern and set in your ways and you know when to take action at the right time for yourself but you also know how to step into that receiving role, letting love come to you, i feel people may love how you love others, like you don’t make hasty decisions when it comes to your love life, you know yourself and how valuable you are. you’re precious boo and for others to try and make u look weird (by them talking mad shit, just yapping nonsense about you) but it’s bc you’re a no nonsense person, bitch you’re literally a fucking star! all of these cards are major arcana’s and with that coming out it’s like your life looks almost perfect from the outside but people don’t know how you’re doing inside, like what’s going on in your head and what’s hurting your heart, you keep up a good face for outsiders and i see why, not everyone deserves to be near you and in your beautiful energy! you guys make balanced and wise choices for yourself and for others too! something about your creativity and character i feel like you just simply make other people happy by you just being yourself without feeling guilty for it, which u should never feel guilty for loving yourself and making you your first priority, you matter my love! also i’m feeling your humanitarian side as well, the way you care so much about other people that’s why i said what i said above, it’s like someone hates that side of you but this isn’t that reading baby, don’t play into that stupid game either, it’s okay to of service to others and want to help your community or just anyone in general but set good boundaries for yourself, remind yourself not to extend a hand to ungrateful, disgusting, DISRESPECTFUL individuals, know who deserves your time and energy and who don’t. you’re a badass baby!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓂𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒! 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒’𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝓎𝓅𝑒 𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓁 𝒸𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓊𝓅 𝒽𝑒𝒽𝑒! 𝒾 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓊 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝓂𝓀 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝓍𝓉. 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒, 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓎. 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊*ੈ✩‧₊˚

[whosmarii]

Nsfw headcanons about mcu Peter Parker.

He loooves make out sessions, I believe he could have you sitting on his lap while kissing for hours without getting bored o needy of something more.

Other thing is that Peter found out how much he loves to touch your body in one of your make out sessions. He never notice how his hands run through all your body, caressing every single space of your skin. Your arms, hands, fingers, legs, feets, face, neck,etc. He loves to feel your muscles moving, your bones being there, your hot breath and the moving of your body to accompany that breath, the texture of your skin in his hands, he loves to feel that same skin getting hotter or colder with or without his touch, he loves to feel you there, to feel you real, alive and with him.

Peter also loves to watch you, the physical attraction he has for you is too much to handle for him. All the things he likes to feel, he likes to watch too. When you two are more comfortable around each other (cause let's remember that he is very awkward and shy) he would tell you that he wants to see you touching yourself, and not like masturbating. He wants to see you touch your body like he does, so everything he feels with his hands he can see with his eyes.

Maybe this is a little creepy but, like I kinda implied before, he...maybeee...has some type of kink with you being like...alive? or real. LET ME EXPLAIN. Peter loves to see you, feel you, taste you, he just loves to have every one of his senses in you and to have every one of yours senses in him, and when that happens he can't help the arousal that runs in his body by the thought of your existence, and specially the thought of your being, being there with him, in his bed. To know that such a real and alive beautiful woman is there by his side. (Peter Parker is a hopeless romantic in every universe, it's in his nature to be extremely aware of you and to have such dramatic thought about your breathing lol).

For the end, a little though I have. Peter has a very very high sex drive but he doesn't have time to fullfil it tho. Probably that's the reason why it is so high, I mean teenager Peter had his hormones at it's highest and didn't have time to yk, experience that type of things. And more grown up Peter still is very young and with a whole adolescent life of no sex. So, yeah, I believe he is really needy of sexual relive.

Okkk, that's all guys.

This is my first post so tell what things should I correct and give me ideas for the next post, tell me what and who would y'all like me to write about.

And, I'm not very used to Tumblr, so if you have ideas on how to make my post more aesthetically pleasing please feel free to tell me!

pd: English is not my native language, so maybe some things are not write correctly, please let me know that.

💕💕

[soobnny]

the first snowflake — hwang hyunjin. unrequited love. comfort. best friends to ? (1.0k words)

your best friend comforts you over unrequited love

“Jinnie, what are we doing here?”

It’s a simple question for a simple person like your best friend who has taken the ground for a bed, laying among the grass and patting the space next to him—a silent invitation for you to join him. You follow quietly, allowing yourself the moment to not trip over your own feet and just exist.

There’s a gap between you both, a small buffer, but it’s not wide enough that Hyunjin can still pull you at arm’s length if anything happens.

He turns his head so he’s looking at you. There’s a small smile on his face, eyes focused on your own. “You were crying this morning. Isn’t it quiet here?”

“A little.”

When you’d knocked on his door with tears in your eyes, he let you cry. For seconds, or minutes, or hours, you don’t really remember. You can only recall the ice cream he’d bought you after and how he’d held your hand to take you where you are now.

The small gesture of kindness brings a lump to your throat. Hyunjin has always known the way you resort to isolation when you’re upset, how you prefer the silence to help you think. So, he allows you the time to think things through, but he offers his quiet presence so you don’t have to be alone.

His company makes you feel rested, far more than you have in a while. You have been too tired menaced by unrequited love and the obvious truth that Chan does not feel the same way. He’s captivated by someone else—prettier, smarter. What a long way to be in love with him for years only to arrive at loneliness. But there is nothing you can do but continue to live within the confines of a love you cannot control.

How ironic, the season of giving is taking and taking away from you.

“What if the first snowflake falls today?”

“Then I’ll lend you my coat.”

“But you’ll be cold.”

“I can handle it until we get home.”

Hyunjin always has a response for everything, and you soften from the uneasy stance you’d taken. You hate being upset in front of Hyunjin, it makes you feel pathetic. Even more so because he’s never given you a reason to feel pathetic in front of him, and it makes you guilty that you even feel this way in the first place.

You snap back to awareness when you feel his hand on yours. They’re long and slender, engulfing yours with ease. The warmth grounds you and temporarily eases the uneasy look on your face. You let your eyes flicker down to your hands before training them back on the sky.

You allow yourself to watch the sky for a long time, indifferent to everything else, until a question blocks your vision. Something you wish you could answer.

Why couldn’t Chan just have looked at you? Even just once?

You had submerged yourself too long until you’d drowned. You would look at the boy with love, but it was never reciprocated. You could’ve been a good girlfriend if you weren’t the only one falling.

When he’d introduced to you the girl he’s been taking on dates, you’d heard the first crack of your heart. Still, you’d played your part—the supportive friend, until it was an appropriate time to excuse yourself. And when you’d made the move to leave, you’d hovered for a few extra seconds, waiting. Eyes trained on the boy. Waiting.

You don’t even know why. You know he’d never look back. But you had hoped he would. You were always hoping with Chan.

You feel a gentle squeeze on your hand. It’s Hyunjin. You didn’t even tell him why you’d been crying, but you have a slight inkling that he knows. He has always been more in tune with his emotions than you. He’s smart, overwhelmingly so, so you have no doubt that he’s aware of your feelings for Chan. But even if he did know, he didn’t say anything. Not until you were ready to tell him.

You stay lying on the grass, watching as the light from the sun slowly drains from the clouds that are hiding it. There is still that pathetic feeling sitting on your chest, akin to heartbreak and embarrassment. You’re too tired to decipher which one. It’s so tiring to have too much to think about, things that have hurt you. It’s starting to get painful.

“I wish love was easier.” You whisper.

There’s a silence that follows. You can tell he’s thinking.

“If it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.” Hyunjin sounds utterly human, and there’s a tenderness in him—in his eyes, in the way he’s holding your hand, and in his words. There’s a certain softness to him, and it’s so endearing. You can’t look anywhere else.

“How will I know when I’ll be okay again?”

He takes your hand in his, placing it carefully on your heart. “That’s how you’ll know.”

Something sits with the embarrassment on your chest, but it feels different this time. Something’s changed and you can’t quite put your finger on it. You try not to think about it too much. But you have a feeling it’s vulnerability, something you don’t let slip very often.

You only look away when you spot something from the corner of your eye.

The first snowflake.

“Ah, the first snow of the season.” Flowers sprout from the way Hyunjin chuckles. He’s sat up now, transferring his coat on you as promised. And you feel warm, but not as warm as when he’d held your hand earlier. You resist the urge to reach for his hands, you don’t even know why you want to, but you really really don’t want to think about it.

“Jinnie?”

He looks at you when you call his name, previously closing his eyes in what looks like him making a wish, but he says nothing. He only holds your gaze, and you can’t really tell if he’s thinking of a response or waiting.

“Thank you.” You finish.

He smiles at you.

When he asks if the two of you should leave, it sounds familiar. But you let him go, telling him you’ll stay just for a little while. And maybe if you hadn’t closed your eyes immediately, you would’ve noticed the way he’d stood there for a few seconds. Eyes trained on you. Waiting.

[jpitha]

Color Me Surprised.

Human vision is hacks upon hacks upon hacks. Forget about how our brains just make wild guesses about things we see, or how there are whole parts of your vision that your brain can't see and just does "content aware fill" on it, or how your peripheral vision isn't nearly as good as you think it is.

Our brains just make up colors because we don't like to see two colors next to each other.

Magenta doesn't exist.

****

“Ugh, what is going on?” The Gren moved to cover their eyes as they staggered back, their reverse articulated legs unsteady.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong Peni’tam?” Jalisa stared at her friend as they moved back, their 2 pairs of eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“That… that thing. It hurts to look at!“ Peni’tam finall turned away and with their back to it, opened their eyes. They looked down at Jalisa. “It doesn’t hurt for you to look at? Is it some kind of human weapon?”

Jalisa peered around Pani’tam. Behind her, on the landing platform was a starship. It was small as starships go, likely only holding 4 or 5 people. With a Flip drive, you didn’t really need a large spacecraft for anything. Most destinations were no more than two or three days away, but humans tended to build large anyway. No reason not to when space is nearly limitless. Interdiction ship probably. Military, or at least formerly military.

It was small and sleek, with very few protrusions. Currently sitting on spindly landing legs, it almost looked like an insect.

It was also bright magenta.

“It’s just a ship Peni’tam. The color is a little unusual, but humans tend to paint their ships wild colors anyway. It’s got a bit of a dazzle camo pattern, made up in two or three shades of magenta.”

“Magenta? What’s that?” Now that Peni’tam wasn’t facing the ship they were much more steady on their feet.

“It’s just a color. Like, a really bright pinky purple?” Jalisa looked down at her pad. “Here, let me see if it’s emitting something.” She touched a few points and ran a scan. “Pani’tam, it’s cold. Even the reactor is off. It must be here for a refit.”

Pani’tam turned again and immediately winced. “Ow! No, something is up. That ship hurts to look at. I don’t mean like figuratively, I mean, literally it is painful. It is doing something.”

“Well, let’s step away from it then. We can find another way to the cafe. I just wanted to pass by the pads because I like to look at the ships.” Jalisa said, wistfully.

They went to the cafe by circling around the station past the gymnasium. Inside, Jalisa saw people running and lifting weights that seemed almost comically tiny until she looked over at the sign over the entrance.

OPERATING AT THREE GEE TODAY. EXERCISE CAUTIOUSLY.

She rolled her eyes. Of course the gym nuts would find a way to use the gravity generators to make the workouts more intense.

At the cafe, Jalisa and Peni’tam got their drinks and sat down at a wide, long table. “I just can’t believe that color doesn’t hurt you.” Pani’tam took a sip of their tea. “Your vision must be completely different than ours.”

Another human at the table heard their conversation and turned. “Oh, you saw the Variegated Elegy?”

“The little magenta ship? Yeah, Peni’tam here-“ Jalisa gestured at her friend “-got a massive headache when she tried to look at it.”

The human nodded. “I’m not surprised. It’s an old interdiction ship, originally designed to strike deep into Gren territory during the war. Now that the war is over, it’s here to be refitted into a yacht, and probably repainted too.”

“Oh really? That’s too bad. The magenta dazzle camo is so interesting.” Jalisa sipped her coffee and looked at the human. She was tall, with close cropped hair on one side, and the rest was swept up almost into a dark asymmetric pompadour. She was wearing a tailored uniform without any indicators of rank and just two silver pips on her left breast. She had a scar along her right cheek as well. She looked very rakish, and Jalisa had to look away quickly.

The human laughed. “It’s pretty neat isn’t it? Unfortunately, the Confederation races can’t process magenta. For some it just looks like a very odd blue, others see a very odd red. A few races like the Gren with very accurate color reproduction get headaches and it causes them pain. The color was chosen on purpose for that particular ship.”

“A color… hurts? Also I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

The woman winks. “I didn’t throw it. You can call me Tyler.”

Jalisa blushes just a bit. “Hi Tyler, I’m Jalisa.”

Tyler nods. “Works over in HVAC with Pam and Lan’urian? Nice to meetcha.”

How did she know that? Tyler continues. “Anyway. Yeah, for the Gren, when they see magenta they try and process it, but since the wavelength for blue will never be with the wavelength for red, the color can’t really exist.”

“But we see it?” Her coffee forgotten, Jalisa leans forward.

Tyler laughs. “That’s because our eyes are hacks upon hacks upon hacks. Half the things we ‘see’ aren’t real. Our brains just invent magenta when we put red and blue next to each other. We learned early in the war about Gren vision processing and were able to use it to our advantage. Now that the war’s over, we’re retiring the pain job. Gotta be good members of the Confederation after all.” Tyler rips off a sharp - though sarcastic - salute.

“So, the color of the ship itself is a weapon?” Peni’tam said, with a note of amazement in their voice.

“Yup! Pretty neat right? A weapon with no power and no ammunition and still causes nearly incapacitating pain if a Gren doesn’t look away.”

Jalisa looks at Tyler more closely. She seems so effortlessly confident. “How do you know so much about this, Tyler?”

Tyler shrugs. “Oh, it’s my ship. In the war I was an Intelligence Collection Agent and I ran the Variegated with a small tight crew.”

Jalisa nearly chokes on her tea. “You’re a spy?”

“Was a spy. War’s over, so we don’t need spy’s anymore, right?” Tyler winked again. Jalisa wasn’t sure if Peni’tam caught the gesture or knew what it meant. A wink was very situational and could mean lots of things. Tyler tossed back the rest of her coffee. “Anyway, I’m here for a few more weeks while the refit takes place.” She stands and looks down at Jalisa. “I’m free tonight. Call me, we’ll get dinner.” And without another word, she turns and walks out of the cafe.

After she left, Peni’tam stares at Jalisa. “You aren’t going to go to dinner with her are you?”

“And why not, Peni’tam?”

“She’s a spy! She spied on us during the war!” Peni’tam’s grey fur ripples and her mouthparts clack with stress.

“The war is over Peni’tam. Everyone on both sides fought it. I’m sure you had plenty of your own spies.”

Peni’tam shakes their head. The fur whooshes back and forth while they do it. “She’s so… cocky and self-assured. She practically made your date invitation a command.”

Jalisa blushed again. “I know. It was pretty cool.”