#but mostly its fiction books on the list bc i love them

[g1rlp1lled]

the books i have read since i got back into reading again in april:

spring

death in her hands, ottessa moshfehg

1q84, haruki murakami

summer

the vegetarian, han kang

the little friend, donna tart

the change, kirsten miller

east of eden, john stienbeck

animal, lisa taddeo

started reading my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell and ABANDONED IT bc it was so gross and weird

fall (currently reading)

mosaic man, ronald sukenick (haven't finished yet, put it down bc it was hard to get through)

ghost wall, sarah moss

how to love your daughter, hila blum (also haven't finished yet bc i've been too busy reading stuff for class to finish! i only have like 50 pages left)

dracula, bram stoker (currently reading it for class but i'm enjoying it so it counts)

frankenstein in baghdad, ahmed saadawi (also currently reading for class but also enjoying it)

[depresseddepot]

weird thing about me is that I am so serious about new year's resolutions that the last week of december feels like I'm in one of those "preparing for war" montages (but in a good way)

[borgialucrezia]

omg i read blood and beauty and its sequel last week bc it had been on my reading list for months!!!! and is this a safe space where i can just say that it hit the nail on the head for all of the borgias without unnecessarily vilifying one or the other (i mean basically considering how most writers hold some vendetta against juan) and i loved how u could really see lucrezia's growth from her childhood innocence to being forced to mature and grow up AND obsessed w any media that portrays cesare as ferocious and sharp and ruthless and juan finally got his flowers bc they obv showed his flaws but without making him the big bad evil when instead he also started off a kid but ended up being dragged to the bottom of the river by his father's ambitions 😔

i wish the 2nd book had progressed a little further to lucrezia's childbirth bed death so the story could come full circle and sometimes the pov switching was confusing for me but aside from that, the borgias will always be famous to meeeeeeeee and i love a good book that portrays them well!

ive been on the hunt for more borgia-centric books so if u have any recs......... <3

zaynab omg hello!!!!! i was kinda waiting for someone to talk to me about this book because it's my absolute #1 favorite historical fiction book <3

i'm so happy you enjoyed reading it! the way miss dunant brilliantly humanized the borgia family by creating striking and compelling narratives for them was truly *chef's kiss*. it's safe to say that her portrayal of them has even made her my favorite author as well (and made me want to check out her other work, lol). the way she made them so sympathetic is truly admirable to me, which is also a standout aspect of the book as we manage to develop a deep understanding of their motivations and complexities through her nuanced portrayal, you know? i say it could've been done more when it came to lucrezia, as she is truly one of the most compelling figures in history (and my all-time favorite). i'm not criticizing dunant for lucrezia's portrayal!! but it's more like i wished she added more of lucrezia's lore...but alas! other books did her more justice, i must say!

my favorite theme of the book is the immense love the pope has for his children. the way [spoiler] juan was taken too soon from him is profoundly melancholic and it added emotional depth to the story and it highlighted the power of a father's love and the devastating impact of losing a beloved child. also, YEAH, the book felt like a breath of fresh air when it came to juan borgia! he was unfairly demonized with no reliable narrative and mostly used as a prop to hype up cesare at his expense *yawns*… but dunant made him an individual, likable character in the book, countering the unjust treatment he always receives. her portrayal of him allowed us to discover the vulnerability and sensitivity that lie beneath his outwardly arrogant and handsome demeanor. we really can't help but feel deep empathy and pity for him as we read about his inner struggles and emotional depth. he became a truly compelling and sympathetic figure within the borgia family, especially when his death is met with cruelty and brutality. the tragic nature of his demise evokes an even stronger sense of empathy and sorrow in the narrative of juan losing himself and being overwhelmed by the heavy task he was entrusted with…

and cesare, of course, was portrayed as that sulking, bitter, cruel but incredibly intelligent, cunning, and charming guy! lowkey a recurring theme for him, but the flavor in making him extra dark in the slayest way possible made me insane in a very positive way! you should watch "los borgia (2006)" for a delicious portrayal of cesare (and personally, i think it's the most historically accurate).

more books? i'd recommended emma lucas's 'lucrezia borgia' and maria bellonci's 'life and times of lucrezia borgia' - both are biographies btw! their work is a solid read, very unbiased without any manipulation of the letters about/between the siblings to push certain narratives (hello sarah bradford!!), well-researched, sheds light on the family's complex relationships and their rise to power, and is highly sympathetic to all of them. you won't be disappointed!!

for historical fiction, i'd recommend mario puzo's 'the family' ...you will never be disappointed after all it's by the dude who wrote the godfather!

i hope you enjoy them <333 i'll be waiting for your feedback :)

[chanquokka]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: de wonderfulest ppl @noonaracha @straykidsgallery and @itsstraykids thank you sm!!! (go appreciate their cool point stories!)

Name(s): juni! is what i decided. some friends on this hellsite also call me solar so wtv u prefer. atp i just have a bunch of nicknames bcs i also have a Weird Name, A Weirder (Family) Nickname in real life

Pronouns: he/she/they/it<3 when i say feel free. pls and thank u

Star Sign: libra, right when it starts (and just a day after seungmin's!)

#of Siblings And Fun Facts About Them(if u have any): one (1) younger gremlin brother, and the funnest fact abt them is that he has been a walking directory of telephone no's since he was 4 and now can be relied upon to calculate large numbers inside his head in point seconds. Still hates physics(and most things theory)> by which, he also stores insane and inane amount of stats info (abt all types of things, but mostly sports) inside his head ready to be flourished at a moments notice, which is mildly impressive when ur 6 and debating with college students the scores of a game that happened 15yrs before u were born but not now when ur 17 and ppl are more focused on your test scores rather than ones u know, so</3 also has his birthday on changbin's but he doesnt know abt that

#of Pets: there's a history there. with fishes that my ma deceived me with on my 12th birthday(when i asked for a pet, i imagined smth i could hold) and then liked too much herself that we had them for 5yrs. three times; birds, but my brother kind of freed them while singing a lullaby with only me as an unbelieving witness. a dog (belovedest of em all) my dad picked from street as a puppy and who, then, had to be given away after 3yrs bcs of Stupid Reasons im still mad abt. now i just have street cats showing up at my front door to safekeep their babies on my staircase's isolated nooks till they grow up and vanish and street dogs who believe i have endless supplies of treats and show me sad faces when i dont. i really want a pet</3 but for now im contending with pictures of kitties whose moms operate on strict 'see-dont-touch' policies and sweet sweet strays who like to befriend u too easy.

Fandoms: many, but rn im active mostly in skz and mxtx. id love to be in other stuff i read and watch but since Capitalism hates me dearly,,,

Favorite Color: darker shades of all and any colors(esp blue green and red)!!! can be relied upon immensely to look warm and pretty always

Favorite Song: picking favorites for anything is out of my capabilities. also am just listening to my favorite bollywood playlist a lot these days.

Favorite Author: have a working list of favorite poets that does not end at 1. have not read a book seriously in four years of exam/prep-locking. but even if i did, idt ill be able to pick any favorite bcs, yk. good things in many things. (tldr; its roald dahl) (and ruskin bond who i read when i was 5 and still read when im so tired bcs his stories inspire me to write always)

Hobbies: I dance(perform) sometimes? I write??(←derogatory, dubious) make stuff, mostly poems and stories and tinker with free things i can do, both online or craft. analysis of things with friends is a beloved activity. i liek yoga and stretching (rn in an ongoing war with 3° winter mornings to drag myself out of bed and go to class at 6) cooking when i have time but mostly, always, reading (or! watching) stories, poems and learning abt cool nonfiction things (does crying abt fiction count)

Favorite Holiday: none of the above its the trips and getaways u make for yourself. all my beloved memories are always mostly from when our family makes a trip to someplace my mom insists or there's a non-worrying emergency to go somewhere. just family getting together under some pretense, even tho it is stressful as fuck.

Do You Have Any Partner(s): persuading my best friend atm but sadly she's straight</3(no lmao)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: since im having it rn- coffee doesnt keep me up or sometimes even makes me nod off, a fact i discovered after my 14yr old brain had the brilliant idea to try out the cool, forbidden drink after dinner knowing i wasnt allowed to. this is not fun to my ma but growing up in a sort of restrictive household, im also just weirdly good at sneaking and doing stuff im not supposed to without getting caught. i also do not know how to talk in lesser words. this is an absolute curse, yes i have tried. beware</3

this^ is a mess but thank u i had fun!! lemme tag: @winterfloral @syannie @hyunhomoons @quokki @chogiwow @agibbangs @rainknow @lixence @hyunebear @straykidsgallery @jerirose @ambivartence @hongjoongpresent + anyone who wishes to! apologies if tagged already!

[darianias]

I'm currently Hyper-Fixated on Fire Emblem Three houses again.... soooo husbando/simp list time?? Going to possibly go oever when/how/when I noticed feelings happening as someone who is demi-aroace (demi-romantic, demi-sexual) bc why not! 🤷‍♀️🥳 (Also to try and trick my brain to do "fun work" to get mysrlf in a working state to do actual assignments for college)

My FE: 3H Simplist <3

uhhh... Spoiler warning for a 5-year old game and possibly it's DLC? (also colors are more so the ones I kinda associate them with or as close to as possible.)

Warnings & disclaimers?: (you can skip these if you want, but I want to add them just incase, if i could put them in thier own little box tbat you can open and close I would. also half are actual warnings and the rest are disclaimers, well most are at least part disclaimer too I'm wordy but I hope it helps things make sense if needed.)

1.) I am very maternal and love kids and babies, so that's mentioned at times alongside unplanned pregnancy. They're not for everyone and these topics can be triggering.

2.) Underage topics are tackled some as I recognize that some of the characters start off as so. I typically fall for any fictional character that is underage via grown up images of them?? (like My Hero Academia, seeing fanart of pro-hero Kirishima and Bakugo), but thinking of thier underaged versions (at time only canonical versions) is a turn off, still love for them but differently- kinda like seeing childhood or oldschool book versions of a significant other, they're just adorable things to portect lile puppies- if you're thirsting then, that's fucking weird and wrong. - ANYWAY, I do want to acknowledge canonical ages given some situations with THE OVERALL POINT BEING that typically if I mention Ocs/Sonas they are age-appropriate in relationships and all. I don't like to really sexualize the plot of that portion of those stories? Like I know teens are active but like im not a teen so it's weird and gross to me to do so, if anything like that happens I typically kinda imagine it off screen, no details really and more so a plot point or a part of character development. (As seen in Felix's, for plot point and development not really seen much in this, but if a character is known to be active/suggested to be but is like Sylvain where its a coping mechanism for something else entirely even tho he is canonically an adult the whole time, he's the best example I can think of right mow.) I also didn't know the canonical ages and may or may not have presumed many of the ones who just turn 18 in pre-timeskip to be older 💀 damn you anime art style!! So uh, please don't judge me there, I'm being honest for a reason as these accidents do happen so how people react is what matters when it comes to fictional characters- irl is a different story and you should never assume. Needless to say that changed the dynamics of my feelings a good bit lol 😅 bc uh, no 🤢 they are babies then.

3.) I also haven't played 3H warriors yet and will likely only have shared playthroughs with my BFF/Roommate/QPP of 10 years so nothing will apply to that lol (I tend to start to dissociate for whatever reason while playing games like that and diablo and its not fun, I can only play them in short bursts.)

4.) I am also going yo list supports/ships I like, mind you, I am demi, most of the same sex endings of the other characters are platonic, so unless I find something that inspires me to see them in a romantic light- canon or not- I typically view them as platonic (this happens even with canonical pairings in fandoms I'm in, mostly straight ones at that lol) so don't really expect same sex ships there. If not within canonical boundaries I often only ship things in aus I create with my own contexts. I have a Queer Platonic Partner so strong platonic love, intamacy (not the physical kind), and dedication/dedicated relationships sooo yeah. it's defs not a homohobia type thing.

5.) I haven't played Crimson Flower and likely never will unless I miraculously fall for like Jeritza/Emil/Death Knighy or Hubert, or get like my first ever girl crush via edelgard (is that all of the exclusive you can romance? Idr,) so none of that is in here aside from mentions of a clip from Joe Zieja's playthrough.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Let's Begin!

I'm posting them in order in which feelings were caught lol

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd

My first 3h love

It happened during the White Clouds of my first playthrough, so surprisingly quick.

My first route wound up a Silver Snow run, as I played with two other friends and we all decided to play different routes, as at the time I didn't care, due to demi reasons partially, I wound up with Black Eagles as the last choice.

I was so sad when he was missing then confirmed dead.

Immediately I started a Blue Lions route after Silver Snow and married Dimitri.

I only fell harder during his route.

Was heartbroken and distressed about his "feral state" as I just wanted him to be okay :c

Definitely didn't have to look up when he returned to himself again.

May have been only play Blue Lions route for years until this year after that, have had multiple full Blue Lions route completions

💯 believe Cindered Shadows DLC is it's own 4th route as the lords to get to talk to each other (including him and edelgard) and is the ultimate peaceful route as they all plot to overthrow the old societal norms together. It's their get along shirt or braclet. Let me dream okay?

Literally have a handful of sonas and a few byleth aus for him so far

For other supports and/or ships, I have a hard time picking favorite supports as I tend to focus on him and byleth as a ship so will need to look over them again.

I needed emotional support when finally playing Golden Deer and playing the chapter at Gronder.

Literally had him choose his targets for me to defeat him and had to get him to stop chasing Hilda and Hapi around 😭 it was kinda funny at the time though. Still coping.

Felix Hugo Fraldarius

Discovered during the post-timeskip of Silver Snow (partially while desperate for lovey feelings)

wasn't as strong of a love when I actually married him in game as it became later in my Blue Lions routes lol

I was a bit disappointed but not surprised by his more Tsundere propsal/S-Support scene

💯 loved his endcard for Silver Snow though.

I am 💯 convinced he got the unaging/slow aging treatment that Jeralt Got via Byleth and the two likely didnt age or die for a while, just stayed as myths and legends as mercenaries- the way they wanted to live

or they literally just took thier teenage kid, coronated them as the monarch of Fodlan and said "if you need us, you know how to call us/find us."

or or They harrassed Seteth or Flayn into the position lol

Felix didn't want to be monarch and I dont think Byleth canonically would ever want to be to either, so would 💯 listen to Felix being the "devil on" thier shoulder and become wandering mercenaries as soon as they possibly could (safely)

Now that I think of it, maybe even put his dad in charge as I believe he is alive in this route 😅

My main sona/Byleth au idea I have for him- in part because I found it ironic, was that rather than the 5-year coma, she goes missing for that time as her and Felix may or may not have accidentally made a kid on the night before the last battle pre-timeskip; I thought it'd be hilariously ironic given his relationship with Sylvain. (The ages are a bit closer too in it, and as veing thier teacher is bad enough, with only thier polticial power kinda balancing that out and the fact that you're canonically 20 but dont have any clue how old you are until later bc Byleth literally never even thought to figure that out before lmao like yeah he's canonically 18 by that point but likkkkeeeee no fuck that shit lol again, I fell for him post-timeskip)

Again I didn't know the ages as I franky thought he was 20-21 man 💀 but overall even before then I imagined things as offscreen as I just... honestly.... really liked the idea of the class reunion happening and Byleth and Felix walking up with a whole 4 year old daughter with them, much to literally everyone's shock. Except maybe Sylvain's. 🤣 It felt really wholesome and cute and Felix putting aside everything to help make sure their kid is good and safe before they could return to the battlefield- probably not trusting to leave- in this case his daughter- for months on end and possibly be a target in the ongoing seige of the Kingdom.

I also am just really maternal and would want a family if not for a large list of things irl which likely will never change so yeah, kids and unplanned kids are defs on my fictional table for literally everyone. As a warning. I also really love having characters show a very paternal side to them as I do find that very attractive.

I really like his supports/endings with Lysithea, Bernadetta, Leonie (I defs feel it as more platonic tho), and Flayn (also see as platonic), might be missing a couple but these are ones I recall.

Sylvain Jose Gautier

Happened during one of my Blue Lion playthroughs when I saw his and Ingrid's A support.

Him being genuinely in love and how differently he acts because of it and how awkward he got for her was like a literal arrow through my heart.

His and Mercedes's A support does this to me too. Dorothea's is fun but like, I don't really feel them as much as the others.

Still like his S-Support with Byleth but yeah, Ingrid's is what did it to me lol

probably a few months to a year or so after I first played Silver Snow and Azure Moon for the first time.

I feel like I'd be a bit of the Anti-version of the girls who'd normally pursue him (at least from his perspective), because to be honest, I wouldn't want to live in that nobility system (or almost any really) with that type of social rules and norms let alone expose any children of mine to it.

He's so fucked up from it man.

I'd opt for a secret cabin in the middle of the woods though.

Run away and Elope at best, confuse the rest of society at worst lol (or be a complete menace among nobles lmao)

I have a bit of an oc/sona byleth-adjacent chatacter (literally one of two adoptive children of Jeralt) who literally goes into Abyss right as the final battle discovering only then she's pregnant with his child (due to being friends with benefits as Sylvian at this point even if in love would 💯 be in denial lmao)

it is only because of Yuri and Felix's friendships (maybe Hapi's and the rest of the wolves too) that after she gave birth to his son, Jeralt Eisner II that he finds out due to her not wanting to impose his worst nightmare on him and being 💯 truthful in not wanting that stuff for her or her child.

literally choosing squalor in abyss (the wolves make sure she's taken care of tho lol) rather than all of that.

The oc/sona was more so inspired by my personality and this idea of sticking to that much to his dismay. As not many would sacrifice all of that for him and I haven't really seen any A-support of his that leads to that sort of thing. Iirc Dorthea's is the closest but also like, the beef they had for a bit kinda strays away from it more. As Dorothea has more of an understandable and warranted distante for nobility, mean while I just wanted the idea of just "no, why would I do that?"

Also friendly reminder he is canonically 19 at the start and is 20 for the vast majority of the story. BUT again most of what I thought of is off screen due to it being a plot point, not all though. 😅

Claude von Reigan aka Khalid

The upmost recent and who threw me into a hyper-fixation again. LIKE, starting in November of 2024

Literally some memes on tiktok and then Joe Zieja (Claude's VA) posting where he killed Claude in his Crimson Flower with a meme by his editor at the end is what helped trigger and me notice my feelings for him. SO UH thanks @maplequeenie on tiktok and Joe Zieja I guess? 🤣

I was a bit in denial at first, but fell hard pretty quickly after that.

He finally gave me the strength and motivation to play his route and play a route other than Azure Moon.

I found out some Warriors spoilers and it breaks my heart that he and dimitri kinda change roles mentally and emotionally some minus the "feral state" and the type of ptsd symptoms Dimitri has from surviors guilt.

Will literally beat anyone down for being racist to any of the characters already, but will foam at the mouth for him in doing so.

I really like his ending in that it defintely opens up a ton for fanfics

Also makes me wish he got a spin off or his own game that shows his journey in Almyra after the main game. Maybe some during like how Thracia is from what I hear. MAYBE even have it so you can use data from some of your old saves to figure out some starting context. Like for Azure Moon, Silver Snow or being engaged to Byleth in Verdant Wind (or whatever A support you may want there) alongside any new options in said theoretical game

I currently have two ocs/sonas one being a byleth/byleth adjacent who is shipped with him (twin sister + some shenanigans that allow both sisters have a connection to Sothis + sword of the creator) and one who is a younger sister/half sister? Who lived with/grew up with him and snook off after him when he left Almyra. No clue on tbe pairing for her yet, but absolutely not her brother. 🤢

The Twin Byleth one is a sona one with my QPP where our Byleths are twins and my QPP's twin is with Dimitri, our demi butts literally have fell for the other's major main character that we've simped for from the start/first playthroughs; this was her first non-Verdant wind playthrough lol.

So uh, in that one most the main events of both games take place minus gronder field going exactly the way it did (edelgard had more troops of her own and of TWSID) and added in the fight against Rhea from silver snow as it still just makes sense.

I really like that while it's similar to silver snow, the differences it has are very strong and the tone is wildly different and I love that. I think both playthroughs are great, silver snow is a good cry and verdant wind is literally the happiest route of them all (aside from Cindered Shadows if you are on copium like me lol)

I can't say anything about ships and supports for him yet as I didnt do as many as I could as I just mainly focused on his support with Byleth however on a platonic level I really enjoyed his with Cyril, Balthus, Hilda and Lysthea. I feel like he was more of a big brother type figure to Cyril and Lysthea in different ways. His and Balthus' friendships as well as his with Hilda's and how Hilda hints at the possible Claudelth pairing.

I will say I enjoy how his and Dimitri's route both support either a romantic or queer platonic relationship tone towards Byleth.

I did however, was disspointed some with how subtle in comparison Dimitri's is but still very very much enjoy it. But i was also feeling really clingy and needy too at the time (like cuddles snd affirmation.) Sooo yeah that's at least 90% why lol.

Now I will forever be emotionally torn on what route to play as I will never have a satisfactory go to route, until i possibly someday get a modded switch to find a mod that will let me have both- and by both i mean like a copy of one of them as then there'd be like... the one in the story and the one I have as a random unit lol.

Honorable Mentions, Aka charavters I adopted in some shape or form or have a string attschmemt of some non-romamtic/sexual form

I have mentally adopted a few characters such as mercdes, cyril, flayn, bernadetta and marianne but I have a few that I feel can have some more detail. I'm also pretty attached to Ferdinand, Dedue, Lindhart and Lysthea as well.

I know the context can possibly change for any of the men you can s-support at least, (then wind up with different ocs like I have for Claude lol,) but this is how things are currently.

Yuri Leclerc aka Regulus

In doing all of his supports with Byleth im the main game my brain is now telling me he is my son, he baby, and to love him and protect him.

No there is no logical reasom for this, my brain just said *Maternal Mode Activated*

Jeritza aka Emil

A begrudgingly new member to the adoptive list, in part bc I will never be able to save him

It technically started I feel by His and Mercede's story

But like it was only towards child him?

Watching Joe Zieja have tea with him has my brain convinced he is someone with higher support needs for kne reason or another and was just broken by everything he's been through prior to becoming the death knight

The way he talks and doesnt know how to really drink tea (he keeps acting lile he doesnt know like it will be hot and possibly hurt him) sparked this idea and shattered my heart

I learned about his personality disorder and while this isnt exactly positive representation of it, i feel like its a good explanation of alot

I haven't seen any full supports of his yet, so my mind may change in the matter back to the orginal state once I eventually do (on like youtube, again no crimson flower for me)

Regardless of how it ends up, until then its just anotber thing that will break my heart or make me sad in the game 😅

Edelgard von Hresvelg

When first playing Three Houses, I was fully under the assumption that Rhea and the church were going to be the secret ultimate villians of the game, I completely was on board with society changing and what the chruch was doing was wrong.

Oh my god I was so BLIND SIDED when I learned she was the Flame Emperor. I WAS GOING TO BE AT HER BACK AT ALL TIMES, and then she's on the side of/working with the creeps who killed Jeralt, did those horrible things to Remire village, the random NPC students and kidnap Flayn?

I felt so betrayed, and wanting to snap at her that this is not how to do things, that I would have helped her up until that point.

I grew close to her and wanted the best for her and believed in her man, I was attached. Maybe not romantically or sexually, but attached. *points at my Queer platonic relationship of 10 years*

The game was somber all the way through adn my heart shattered when I learned and realized she felt like her only choice was to have TWSID as allies and then betray them.

Like girly we could have talked more, and after olaying the other routes, certainly with the other lords too, and to ME. Like these are the people who expiramented on you and tortured you... we coukd of just handled this so much better.

And your dream for Fodlan? The others want the same, different ideas yeah but we can take the best from all of the ideas and also just have much more contingencies.

I just want to cry, bap her (not painfully) on the head with a rolled up newspaper and cry man.

Having the same scene of her death play in Verdant Wind was so.... off putting as just... detatched. It fels so weird how emotional it was for me in Silver Snow, only for it to olay out with the same emotional feel in a route where it feels so out of place for. With Silver Snow you can FEEL the bond that is shared, but isnt there.

Also, while I don't think Rhea nesecarily needs to die, I do believe she needs to retire, get some major psychological and psychiatric help (90% of the charcaters in the game do at minimum) and/or retire to a nice cushiony, padded room, with a njce cozy jacket but also be treated humanely so. Grandma is wayyy off her rocker man. Also we could just, secretlu bury? The remains of the relics or give them a proper funeral that isnt recorded, and only performed by a few people like flayn & seteth? As like... the relics sre fucked up man dont just destroy them be a bit more respectful at least if you do. Don't be dragon racist just bc Granny is off her rocker.

I will forever enjoy aus where she and the other lords join forces and she sensibky talks to the others and/ doesnt just go with her very destructive plan and is away from those people.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Now I'm off to do homework for an online mandatory theology class (catholic university) then work on research papers and more. (I may not be sleeping today, also my sleep schedule is currently fucked up) 🥲 Wish me luck!

(I also continue to do well in my Theology class where I rant about the evils of organized religion as I'm an omnist who despises it, and still have it as one of my highest grades this semester. My professor either loves me or hates me and I may never know.)

[auroraeternal]

What’s you’re favorite pieces of media? Games? Shows? Movies? Music?

Hi Cris! I actually have before in my pinned post list with my fav media, but I removed it bcs I think this post is too big. Sorry for late reply again :/ For music (bcs its my most favorite of all media so its easiest to answer): I created two Spotify playlists - one with my fav songs of all genres and other dedicated purely to black metal and related to it other genres (because I have some ick when its mixes with other music, idk why :/). second playlist may be too hard, I understand this. For games: The Sims 3 and Medieval, VTMB (ofc), Stardew Valley, Silent Hill 2&3, Alice: Madness Returns, Skyrim, GTA SA, Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (I know that visual novels is a slightly different thing, but it was the only one that I don't think its boring for me XD). Also, I used to love Civilization VI, Minecraft, Detroit: Become human (but I watched it on yt because I don't have PS4 at the moment it came out), Plague Inc, Mortal Combat and old school mobile and Flash games (now I have Flashpoint installed). I'm interested in these games, but I haven't played them yet, I've only watched videos and/or read articles about them: F.E.A.R, Hitman (newer games size are insanely huge, maybe I try Blood Money instead), Fatal Frame, Postal 1&2, Painkiller (its OST is the GOAT), Cry of fear, videogame version of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (also original book is really good!).

For movies/tv shows: I have a longer list of what I WANT to watch than a list of what I like :D but my favorite genres are horror/thriller, science fiction, detectives (true crime too!, but not in romanticizing way), dramas (including historical) and documentaries. Also I love some "serious" or darker comics adaptations like The Dark Knight or The Crow. For more specific names, then: American Mary, Perfect Blue (I actually not really into anime/manga but love this one), The Act (TV show about Gypsy-Rose Blanchard), Devil Wears Prada, Marie-Antoinette (2006), Until the Light Takes Us (black metal documentary) and some more, I'm not good at remembering movies. I want to watch: Saw movies, Thirteen, Ginger Snaps, Jennifer's Body, Pearl, Fleabag, From Dusk Till Dawn, Pulp Fiction, The Godfather, American Horror Story, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Junji Ito Collection, and many more. Also I want to rewatch The Handmaid's Tale (and/or read the book). For books: again, I have the same problem like with the movies, but here situation is slightly better, bcs I downloaded a bunch of books that I want to read in my phone :D I mostly google recommendations or classics of genres/themes that I interested in, and my favorite genres are the same as the movies. The last books I read were Writer and suicide (not sure if this one exist in English, use translator. It was recommended to me by my friend) and Little Mushroom (BL post-apocalyptic novel, recommended to me by other friend xd).

Thank u for good asks, luv u 💗

[nedlittle]

hello - don’t feel like you have to answer this - i really admire how much you read and the variety of books you review. i am trying to read more in 2023, but i have a hard time finding things i like and an even harder time finishing books that don’t grab me by the 70ish page mark. do you mind sharing bit of insight on how you find what you like and, more to the point, how you get yourself to finish a book that you know is going to be a 2 star review maximum well before you’re done?

anon i am SO sorry for letting this rot in my inbox for over a month, i genuinely have not had the time to give you the answer you deserve. this is going to be long, so i'm going to divide it into two main parts

part i: how to find things you like.

the easiest advice i can give is just to think about books you like and what you enjoy about them. my favourite genre is historical fiction, but i like a very specific type of historical fiction that i have difficulty explaining bc it's vibes-based. largely queer historical fiction that interrogates its setting rather than using it as a backdrop for modern characters in period clothing; i'm not huge on historical family sagas, but i do love when the style is a little fucky. i like reading classics, mainly mid-late 19th century and mid-20th century ones as historical artifacts, i like comparing and contrasting similar texts like i'm writing a book report, and i like purple prose. i like some fantasy and sci-fi but not a lot because i'm a big dumb-dumb with complex worldbuilding and think that some genres, like urban fantasy are just a little silly, this is my subjective taste. think about what you don't like and why you don't like it with the same amount of thought. that's step 1.

so, you've figured out what you do and do not like. now, to find more of the same. if your author is alive and has a web presence, check out what they recommend on social media, check out books they've blurbed. you may not have the same taste as the authors you like and god knows i've read at least 3 books because alison epstein recommended them and i really liked her debut novel only to find that her taste and mine don't always align. do the same with your friends, even if they may not have the same taste. ask them what a five-star read is to them. ask the little tumblr people in your phone. it's okay to have caveats. whenever i ask for book recs on here, i clarify that i am not interested in reading a little life and i probably never will be.

if you look for book recs everywhere, like i do, you will find them. try something your favourite podcast host recommends! read lists of new releases in a genre of your choice!

anon i don't know what your local library sitch is. mine has a great website for finding similar books. the example i'm using here is my fave read of 2021, the flight portfolio by julie orringer

if you click on the covers it will tell you why these titles are recommended, mostly for shared subject matter and setting, occasionally for stylistic or thematic similarities. none of these books appeal to me, but if i scroll down a little more...

fucking bingo. so, because i am me, i am going to select "lgbtqia" and "historical fiction", maybe "stylistically complex" if i want to narrow it down

it gave me 12 books total that are available at my local library. of the first four, i have read three (adored one, points if you guess which one), and the remaining book is on my tbr.

the storygraph is also fantastic for recommendations, though like all recommendations, they're hit-or-miss. if you have an account, which i recommend, and i also recommend you add me if you do @/kitnotmarlowe because that way you can keep up with the saga of me unintentionally reading books where lesbians have threesomes and a ghost is involved somehow. but if you have an account, you get recommendations right on your homepage that you can filter by length, genre, mood etc

sorry this is 5 px i had to zoom out to get all the available options. you can also sort your reading preferences including fave genres (up to 5), the kind of books you like reading (open-ended and comma separated), characteristics you appreciate most (up to 3), genres you aren't currently interested in (as many as you want, i currently have 26), things that turn you off books the most (up to 3), and books that you're never in the mood for (as many as you want, the only one i have marked is 'relaxing'). you can ask for specific recommendations without changing your preferences if you want something specific NOW and you have the option of browsing similar books for any of the books in their database

now that that's out of the way, onto...

part ii: how do you finish books that aren't good

here's the secret: you don't have to. life is too short to commit to finishing something you aren't interested in or upset by or simply not vibing with. as a kid i used to be really bad with this and finished every single book i read even if it scared the absolute shit out of me (wuthering high by cara lockwood) or accidentally exposed me to baby's first sex scene (have been trying to remember what book this is for YEARS). if something isn't gripping you by the 70 page mark, put it down. unless you're reading it for school or being paid to review it. sometimes you just don't vibe with a book! maybe you'll pick it up later, maybe you won't and that's fine. i tried reading a historical romance last year but got so distressed by the politics and stupid understanding of suffrage that i quit before i was halfway.

"how you get yourself to finish a book that you know is going to be a 2 star review maximum well before you’re done"

if you look at my worst books of 2022, you'll see that over half of them are dogshit historical mysteries that i finished solely to try and solve the mystery, even if they were written with all the poise and skill of a fast food receipt or utterly nonsensical or colonial in a way i didn't expect to find in the 21st century. i am a hater at heart. i have an entire tag devoted to books i've finished out of spite. sometimes you finish a book you think is dogshit so that you can Tell The World (or at least your friends) that it is dogshit and get all your feelings out and once you have achieved catharsis you can read something new. sometimes you think a book is dogshit and nobody else really agrees and you feel like you're in the twilight zone so you write out your thoughts and release them unto the internet.

i'm of the opinion that a bad book can be as instructive as a great one. you can take apart a bad book and figure out what works (for you personally and for the book from a craft standpoint). this is a pro-litcrit blog even if it's just you writing a 2000 word review of a book approximately 5 people have read JUST so you can send it to a friend and have them empathize with your suffering. taking literature apart is fun! sometimes you have to power through an awful book before you can read a great one

sorry that this is so long but i hope it was a bit helpful. my inbox is always open to requests for recommendations no matter how niche. go forth and read widely!

[meyhew]

If you haven’t already read it, “all the light we cannot see” by Anthony doer is really good!

Personally I love “a separate peace” by John Knowles, it’s a great coming of age story.

I don’t read a lot of fiction and when I do it’s mostly classics, so that’s all that comes to mind off the top of my head, but I’ll definitely be watching the recs you get cause I need some as well!

thanks! personally i think u should check out the ones i mentioned in my post bc they're just so very good. im really picky about which books i tell other people to read bc i have the Always Being Right disease and i can't stand it when people dont love something i rec them but every book on that short list is immaculate within its genre

[criphd]

phd books of 2024 :

i answered an ask on my other account about dnfs from 2024 and in it i ended up including a bunch of phd stuff which made me wanna write a full list of what i read this yr as well as what i dnfed !

4 short stories by women published in clarion & labour leader: mary's lover, a bit of tragedy, a shop girl and a mystery - whenever i start to engage w socialist women's writing, especially after having read some lit crit on their work im always surprised bc i feel like the life-fullness of them is not articulated at all.... these were pretty interesting & sometimes politically complex!! looking forward to reading more

the first men in the moon by h.g wells - a sci fi novel that is a bit socialist - mostly read this bc i was thinking about what a general sense of 'socialist fiction' might be at the turn of the century

shirley by charlotte bronte - this doesnt really count lol but it is interested in the novel, class struggle, politics & form & luddites even if it is extremely tory lol (but also.... shirley could be a dyke?!)

the story of an african farm by olive schreiner - a rly foundational text/ writer for a lot of utopian socialists so good to have read it, there are parts that are a slog & i dont think i could ever call this feminist, but certainly an interesting novel

the story of a modern woman by ella hepworth dixon - kinda a nightmare but again an interesting novel abt women's roles / work / solidarity / (fraught!!) connection between women of different classes. not totally within my purview bc it isnt socialist but it was serialised in the 1890s so thats somewhat why i picked it up.

aimée furniss, scholar by katharine st john conway - gayest victorian novel i've read in a while, and considering i did read shirley this yr thats saying something ! its not a very good novella tho lol, but it is very explicitly about christian socialism and lke hintonian sexual ethics [so sort of abt free love without being too deep or too radical)

dnfs for now

the poetry of chartism : aesthetics, politics, history by mike sanders - i loved this sm !! but i only read the first two chapters & the intro ofc bc its not directly relevant to my phd but i wanted to read it for the methodology used regarding columns in periodicals. i would love love to come back to this bc its fascinating and rly clever.

the victorian press and the fairytale by caroline sumpter - i read one chapter in this that was rly relevant to my work but the rest is less so, but if i have some space & spoons for it i might return to check into the other stuff

the making of british socialism by mark bevir i also read a few chunks from [maybe two chapters overall? i cant remember]

new women, new novels by ann ardis - i started looking at this bc i was thinking about my critique of the category of 'new woman novel' / 'new woman' but i didnt have time to read all of it now - but will def return when im writing an intro / thinking about contextualising socialist women in their literary landscape

inventions of the present : the novel in its crisis of globalization by frederic jameson - i just like was reading too much to rly get to it.... also not sure id read this all anyway but i thought it sounded interesting and there are some sections that might be better than others

dnfs forever

victorian narrative painting by julia thomas – fine, just not something to bother finishing tbh

im literally still reading / refuse to actually dnf for now the hannam and hunt book socialist women and hunt's solo book equivocal feminists bc i just feel like at any moment i might pick these up and read some more of them lol but that hasnt happened for a wHIle now.

anyway there you go :)

[aroaceconfessions]

Uh hello, I'm kinda questioning... so i think I need advice or something,

I think I found a label that kinda fits but I don't know if it's fair to call myself aspec/under the asexual umbrella

But I'm gonna start from the beginning so this will make sense,

Ps: this got long so I'm gonna cut some parts and make some bullet points instead

When I was 8 I chose who to have a crush on

When I was 12 I joined a very gay fandom and shipped gay people (helped me stopped being homophobic)

"But I wasn't gay"

When I was like 13 every day on the bus I was thinking of this one girl

And I was like I can't be gay

And I had a whole list on my brain of why "I wasn't allowed to be gay"

Till a friend of mine came out as bi when we were like 13-14, and I realized that if they're allowed to just be Then There's no invisible wall forbidding me

And I did too, I came out to a few people as bi

When I was 12 I had a crush on a boy, once my friend pretended to like him to see my reaction(cause it was my 1st crush while they had a different one every week) and I had deleted my feelings after a 45 minutes class, but she just told me it was a joke but, I already like, felt nothing?

I've had a couple of crushes over the years, it actually takes me a long time to figure out "Oh hey this might be a crush" and most of my crushes, they were just random people from school, that I've never talked to and I didn't actually wanted to? Like that's my crush ok. End of story, no biggie

I only had a crush on a friend once, and I never told anyone about it. This was like when I was 15, and I recently (im 17 now) found out they have an online gf and I didn't felt any kind of jealously one might expect to feel, I'm happy for them

The thing with my crushes is, fictional characters? I usually love the boys, real people? Usually Girls that look gay

I think what mostly makes me question whether I'm fully bi, is that I related a little too much to Georgia Warr from Loveless by Alice Oseman (for anyone that doesn't know the book is about Georgia figuring out her identity as aroace)

One of my main suspicions is a photo, it was from an actor I really liked a few years ago, he was shirtless and all the comments were like "😍😍🔥🔥🥵🤩hot" and the first time I saw it I was like yeah, but then I saw the same photo a week later and I was like ew why is he shirtless get dressed dude, and I was confused with the same comments I saw and agreed a week ago

Also, some of the fictional characters i love I say I'm in love with them, but I don't actually want to "date" anyone (like my friends do) and 9/10 I ship the characters with someone

And I recently found out what Aceflux is

I would explain it as "on/off sexual attraction" that's how I understand it, at least. I don't know if/how much I'm wrong. I can't find a lot about it online

When I think about it, I'm not sure what I find "hot" sometimes I see someone and I'm like oh hot but not like in a "I wanna sleep with them hot"

I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship or anything,

And while its sounds cool and all, I'm doing fine single yknow? I'm not actively looking for a relationship like most people seem to be doing

I've been questioning with the Aceflux label for a while now, it just makes sense,

Things I've done/thought in the past make more sense if an "on/off sexuality" is an option

but I feel like a fraud if I do use it and call myself that

Google is like "mostly on the asexual spectrum but sometimes allo"

What if it's a mix? What if I'm more allo than Aceflux? Or actually I'm not even sure anymore?? Idk I think I experience sexual attraction like 10 minutes a week when I see something on the internet that seems fancy

Is there a way to measure it?

Would it be unfair to use that label?

I don't even know anymore

Also, bc I've got double questions how? Romantic people? Demiromantic? How different? Like do people get Romantic feelings instantly?how? what? I don't understand

I'm questioning everything at this point

Only my gender, which I figured out at 15, seems to be safe...for now

[vennussy]

Ronance Fic Ideas #1: Horror Gore Writer x Serial Killer Roommates

in honour of my "get to know me" tag game here, it turns out people do want to know about my little au ideas in more detail (not entirely tho bcs some of them are still processing) and here is one out of my 4-5(?) fic ideas!

SO! this idea first came up while I was on the writing side of tiktok bcs yes I want to become a writer as a side thing when I grow up where this person made a skit about a writer and a secret serial killer as roommates, and honestly, it's tons of fun to watch, they have a bunch of videos about the two and I fell in love immediately. you can watch it here <3

here's a quick summary tho; basically the two people, now named vic (serial killer) and shelley (writer) are roommates. shelley is a horror writer who asks vic very gorey descriptive questions like if a person can live after getting their hand chopped off and stuff and vic tries to answer. FUNNY THING IS vic doesn't know a lot about the writing world so they legit assume shelley is a murderer and is SCARED of them, while shelley still doesn't know nor care how vic knows so much about torture. ITS SO FUNNY AND ENTERTAINING BUT ON TO THE RONANCE PART

OKAY LISTEN LISTEN.

Nancy is the writer.

Robin is the serial killer.

they became roommates one day and IK robin isn't the one to kill and murder but watching the skit it just FELT so right for them to have these roles. IMAGINE nancy one day asking her how long a person can live after getting fucking SKINNED and robin is absolutely terrified why she needs to know but goes out and tests it out anyways for nancy.

AND LISTEN TF UP robin is absolutely overprotective over nancy and one day while they were out, robin sees a person stalking them, specifically her girl so when they get back home, she goes out finds the guy and beats him up, kidnaps him and HURT HIM bcs she's fuckin Robin "Nancy is mine." Buckley

even as an uprising big-deal serial killer (people even calling her "The New Ripper" like jack the ripper) she is absolutely horrified to find nancy's list of torture ideas in her opened notebook. but robin gets excited when nancy asks the questions too bcs she learns something new and gets really happy when she impresses nance.

NANCY on the other hand has become the most oblivious fucker around. like full-on her detective mode is gone. she sometimes questions robin how she knows so much about murder but brushes it off even if robin's excuse was so bad, in exchange for that, she is the most detailed and scarily good writer. LIKE EVEN THE SERIAL KILLER HERSELF ALMOST PUKED AFTER READING HER TORTURE BOOK.

but if I do write this fic I'm planning to do like mostly their dynamic and shit and the questions nancy would ask before getting them to date AND THEN the drama where nancy starts to figure things out and have to choose whether to stay or go. if she does stay I think about nancy writing all about robin in her book and signing it off as fiction only for it to be a hit.

okay now for the stuff i thought of that I couldn't put up there properly

robin was most likely abused and had/have a lot of psychological issues which led to her killing, also her lack of knowledge of the real world like fictional novels and shit (that's why she assumed the book nancy was writing was real)

robin ironically works in a butcher store, mostly owned by her bcs of long-term working there since she was a teen, that's also where she sometimes hides the bodies

nancy had to get a roommate in her apartment due to her parents (mostly dad, I'm a karen wheeler lover) not supporting her career choice and basically stopped giving her money in order to "face reality" so she puts up an ad for a roommate

"I sure do hope no serial killer ends up being my roommate" -nancy before getting a serial killer as her roommate

robin was very withdrawn at first, nancy didn't mind bcs she's a bit of an introvert but after accidentally catching robin having a panic attack (she realized one of her victims escaped and started panicking) nancy realizes she needs to know more about the girl

it was hard af but nancy managed to get robin to open up and sees her awkward rambling personality

nancy has a part-time job at the bookstore near the butchery giving her a chance to visit robin at work

robin gets so nervous when she does though, she can't tell if nancy would notice that the blood on her apron was in fact not pigs or any other animal but a human itself

nancy loves watching horror movies but is scared of crime documentaries, robin loves watching crime documentaries but hates horror movies

their first date was in a quiet beautiful forest that happened to be robin's first murder place

nancy thinks it's cute how excited robin rambles about the smartest murders serial killers did that they got away from

nothing weird about it, plus she gets to learn about it too, for her book ofc

also kind of?? self projecting myself on robin here IM NOT A SERIAL KILLER ISTG but I do have a lot of intrusive thoughts bcs of my OCD so might as well get them out in the healthiest way, fanfiction.

plus I'm going to be majoring in psychology, so I really wanna apply what I may learn through robin

I do not condone murder or torture

please dont

only these useless lesbians can

OKAY THAT'S ALL I THINK!! I hope yall enjoy it! if u have anything u wanna add then go for it, I wanna hear what yall think :D

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Hi.

Could you maybe recommend some gay af books? I'd love to read some!

Hi anon! first of all thank you for asking bc i love talking about my favorite gay books!! also this is so not going to be a comprehensive list or anything, like idk if these are the best or the most popular but they're the ones i've personally read! also shoutout to @lgbtqreads bc it's where i've personally gotten many recommendations so highly recommended! also this is almost entirely about lesbians because yes

First things first, the first gay book I read, for Carol reasons, was The Price of Salt! which I genuinely and absolutely loved. and it sent me in a path of similar historic-ish kind of path from which I specifically remember Tell it To The Bees (better ending than the movie!!) and Patience and Sarah. and then everything by Sarah Waters (except one book without lesbians that's still good), happy endings not guaranteed, just historial lesbian in wild stories, but they're all great, some of my favorite ever, especially Fingersmith and The Night Watch *chefs kiss*

Then I decided you know what, I want just cheesy, happy, sexy, little romance books! like low stakes, pretty much predictable, but just satisfying if you're in the mood for a romcom. so i went down the rabbit hole of reading every single book by Melissa Brayden (i genuinely recommend the 3 series she's written, or at least the first two, you need this in your life (don't expect a lot of diversity but like it's just fun okay? trust me)). there's also Georgia Beers, which I haven't read as much but still good!! I really liked the books by Lyn Gardner too. also Nina Lacour!

Which lead me to "mostly YA or romance books that I read and loved but don't remember enough to describe in detail but you should totally read": All Out (many lgbt stories), Dating Sarah Cooper, Annie On My Mind, i think everything by Malinda Lo. special shoutout to scifi/fantasy YA that i personally treasure! Labyrinth Lost! The Abyss Surrounds Us (and sequel)!! This Is How You Lose The Time War!! and of course The Locked Tomb series!!! also i promise that One Stop and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo are 1000% worth it!!!

I don't read a lot of non-fiction but I could recommend Tegan and Sara's book also Cameron Esposito's book! don't have anything else in that category though

And because it's a personal favorite of mine, spooky gay books!! obviously start with The Haunting of Hill House, technically it's just subtext but it's worth it. Her Body and Other Parties is an absolute masterpiece, gay and unsettling (also the other book and comic book by Carmen Maria Machado!). a tragic and weird but amazing if you know how to appreciate if its for you, Carmila!!! and I'd totally count My Best Friend's Exorcism as gay because it's just very gay

okay that's it!!

let me know if you'd like to know more about one of them specifically or if you'd like to talk about any of them because I'd absolutely love to!!! <3

[nonagesiimus]

do u have any book recs for ppl who are trying to get back into reading?

yes but i also have a longer response about reading that im putting under the cut. "get back into reading" is a really broad thing to give recs for so im taking it to mean "things that are low effort but still fun/interesting" and then if you want more specific ideas please god read my longass response under the cut and get back to me

the miraculous journey of edward tulane by kate dicamillio (childrens book about a toy rabbit who gets lost)

the selection by kierra cass (ya dystopian the bachelor but its royalty. this is a TERRIBLE book but i read the entire series. sometimes its fun to read a terrible book)

ice planet barbarians by ruby dixon (alien erotica. note that there IS brief rape/sexual assault early on in the book that is unrelated to the romance. again sometimes it is fun to read a terrible book)

get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert (contemporary romance about a woman with a bucket list)

all systems red by martha wells (sci fi novella about a secunit who gains free will)

the house in the cerulean sea by tj klune (fantasy auditor goes to check on a fantasy orphanage. i did not like this book but it was extremely easy to read)

im thinking of ending things by iain reid (psychological horror about a woman who goes with her boyfriend to meet his parents for the first time and she thinks she wants to break up with him. this is like the only book ive ever read that legitimately freaked me out while i was reading it)

the year of magical thinking by joan didion OR slouching towards bethlehem by joan didion (memoir about the year of her life following her husbands death, essay collection)

the new me by halle butler (litfic woman works as a temp and has a phenomenal amount of internal rage. i have so much to say about this one honestly)

hunters in the snow by tobias wolff (short story about a three person hunting party. this is my Short Story From High School That I Still Think About)

i tried to give you a variety bc i have no idea what kinds of things you like. good luck!

hmmmm usually "get back into reading" means you previously read as a hobby and fell out of it somehow so usually for that the best book is one you already know and love. whatever book used to be your favorite book when you were a "reader" or maybe when you were a kid. it can literally be a picture book just like anything you actually WANT to read and have a good time reading, thats a good book to get back into reading.

alternatively, some people have a Certain Kind Of Book they can reliably read quickly (for me this is contemporary romance) and reading one or two of these can snap you out of a "reading slump"

i really think the actual most important thing with reading is that you actually ENJOY reading, like you enjoy the process or the analysis or SOMETHING about the experience, because its basically pointless to force yourself to read when you aren't having a good time. so if you're sure you want to read and are just having trouble getting in the swing of things, maybe you need to change the kinds of things you're reading (like, maybe you spend a lot of time reading ya fantasy and need to move to adult fantasy, maybe you focused mostly on novels and now you need to read short stories, maybe you need a new genre, maybe you need a new author, etc). you could totally surprise yourself on what kinds of things you're into, like my boyfriend reads almost exclusively sci fi and i recommended three literary fiction books to him, and he really liked them.

you also have to let go of the idea that you SHOULD be reading anything specific. like you dont HAVE to read any "classics" if you dont want to. if you do i can rec some i like but your reading experience is about what YOU like not what other people think you should read

what im getting at here is i can tell you some books that i think are low effort and fun but they might not actually work on YOU since i dont know what kinds of things you like, what things havent worked for you, etc etc. if you want to like refine your question to "books for people who want to get into horror/romance/literary fiction/etc" i could probably give you some more specific titles that you might actually like. godspeed

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[c-kaeru]

TAGGED BY: @chaoticdean​, Merci !! 😘

RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better. (Spoiler, I am not tagging 20 blogs lmao, if you see this and wanna do it feel free to do so and tag me so I can see it C:)

Name/Nickname: Camille/Kae

Gender: Genderqueer, They/Them or She/Her (tho I’m still mostly questioning lol)

Star sign: Leo

Height: 5′5 / 168 cm (or 5′6 ? why the heck aren’t all converters saying the same thing) 

Time: 9.58PM

Birthday: July 26th, 1997

Favorite bands: Way too much to even make a list 

Favorite solo artists: Same problem lol

Song stuck in my head: Wondering Where The Lions Are by Bruce Cockburn

Last movie: I think it was Inside Out (which. I didn’t expect it to wreck me like that lmao)

Last show: I’m currently watching Peaky Blinders with my sister hehe

When did I create this blog: I thiiiink it was in July 2013

What I post: Mostly SPN with random stuff and the occasional side hyperfixtation lmao (currently the game Genshin Impact X))

Last thing googled: Well, meters to feet converter bc I can never remember my size in feet lmao

Other blogs: What other blogs lmao I dump all the trash here like a man

Do I get asks: Not that much but ye and I love when I do !

Why I chose my url: Bc of a moment with my fave characters in Naruto and it’s stuck with me ever since hahah (and now I can’t even think of changing it bc everyone knows me with it and its kinda become a part of me XD Also beside “returning home” it also means frog in Japanese and I find it hilarious considering I’m French)

Following: 678 (which. I should really do a massive clean-up, god)

Followers: 5,8k (how is that a real amount of followers that I have. The fuck. I mean, probably a third of it are porn blogs but still)

Average hours of sleep: 3-4 on bad weeks, 7-8 on the good ones lmao

Lucky number: I hate maths sorry

Instruments: I...Played the flute as a kid

What am I wearing: black sweatpants with my Eye of The Tiger Jensen hoodie over a Naruto T-shirt (or : my pyjamas/quarantine outfit)

Dream trip: Road tripping in America (US and Canada) with my friends would be amazeballs. Also I really wanna go to Svalbard or anywhere near the North pole

Favorite food: I can’t choose lmao

Nationality: French

Favorite song: I have like 20 favorite songs c’mon

Last book read: just started Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo hehehe

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Star Wars, uhhhh Harry Potter, probably, oh, and Genshin Impact bc the landscapes are amazing and I want a cool outfit and a cool element to play with

Favorite color: Blue, preferably darker