#but more about the value of the marathon-like mentality some people have about aging

[aechlys]

"Is it better to live to an obscenely old age or die while you still look like yourself?"

I've had a lot of strange questions like this circulating through my mind the past few months. 🫠

[inspiration-3000]

Why Should I Go to the Gym Today?

Getting to the gym is a Herculean feat when dealing with contemporary life's stresses. In this post, we'll discuss why you should make the gym your new best friend and answer concerns such as, "Why should I work out today?" and "Is it OK to skip the gym for two days?"

As in, "Why Should I Go to the Gym Today?"

Why Should I Go To The Gym Today The Benefits of Exercise on Health The foundation of a healthy lifestyle is a regular exercise routine. It aids in weight control, improves cardiovascular health, and may even positively affect mental health. Any kind of physical exercise is beneficial, whether it's a brisk stroll, a high-intensity interval training (HIIT) session, or a strength training program. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that people should engage in physical activity for at least 150 minutes per week at a moderate level or 75 minutes per week at a vigorous intensity. Heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain forms of cancer are just some chronic conditions that may be mitigated by adhering to these principles.

The Psychological Advantages of Physical Exercise for Your Well-Being

Did you realize that exercising your body also benefits your mind? Exercising has been shown to increase mood, decrease anxiety, and lengthen and deepen sleep cycles. It's a healthy and efficient strategy for managing stress and keeping your head on straight. Endorphins are "feel-good" hormones released in response to physical activity; these chemicals alleviate pain and boost happiness. They help stress, facilitate restful sleep, and protect against negative emotions. As a bonus, regular exercise has been shown to promote mental health by increasing self-esteem and enhancing body image. How Physical Fitness Can Extend Your Life Span Regular physical exercise is one of the best strategies to lengthen your life span. It's beneficial for lowering the odds of developing severe conditions, including diabetes, cancer, and heart disease. In addition, it aids in preserving muscle mass and joint flexibility as you age, extending the range of motion and activity possible throughout your life. The ability to run a marathon or lift significant weights is just two measures of physical fitness. Having the physical stamina to go about one's everyday routine without tiring out is at the heart of this concept. Maintaining safety by avoiding injuries requires mobility and equilibrium. Having a healthy gut means being able to cope with the stresses of daily life.

Is it a good idea for me to go to gym today?

Realizing the Value of Regular Exercise Routines When it comes to physical fitness, consistency is crucial. Taking a day off from exercise when needed is excellent, but missing activities regularly might be detrimental to your fitness goals. Do your best to include training in your daily or weekly schedule, no matter how often that may be. Keep your fitness level up, your heart healthy, and your spirits up with a regular exercise program. Weight control and lowered risk of chronic illness are two other benefits. So, even if you don't feel like exercising on a given day, moving about a little's still a good idea. You will probably feel better after you've finished. How Important Are Rest Days? Can I Miss Two Workouts in a Row? A well-rounded workout plan will include rest days. They allow your body to rest and repair after strenuous exercise. Therefore, if you're asking whether it's OK to miss the gym for two days, the answer is OK, so long as you're still exercising regularly. You should only expect to do something other than watch Netflix all day on your rest day. Walking, stretching, and yoga are all examples of low-intensity physical activity. These are low-impact ways to maintain activity without placing undue strain on your body. They also help you become more mobile and flexible, boosting your exercise results. An Essential Part of Fitness is Getting Enough Rest Healing is a natural byproduct of physical activity. It would be best to challenge yourself during exercises but don't forget to give your body the rest it needs between sessions. If you need a day off, give it to yourself. That's what your body needs. Taking a few days off isn't enough for a full recovery. Sleeping sufficiently, eating well, and maintaining an adequate water intake are all part of this. All these things might interfere with your body's capacity to heal after workouts and reach its full potential. Take care of your body in and out of the gym for the best results.

Why Do So Many People Go To Gyms Today?

The Continuum of Contemporary Fitness Culture The prevalence of fitness-oriented subcultures in today's society is undeniable. More and more individuals are making exercise a priority in their life as they learn about its many health advantages. There has never been a better moment to get in shape, what with the proliferation of trendy fitness centers and cutting-edge tools for working out at home. Several causes contributed to the development of the fitness industry. One example is the realization that exercise has positive effects on health. Social media is another factor, particularly the impact of fitness influencers and training challenges. And then there's the gym, which offers members a chance to unwind from their hectic lives, prioritize their health, and bond with like-minded people. The Gym is a Place for Socialization and Group Exercise Many individuals see their gym as more than simply a place to exercise; it also serves as a social gathering spot. The gym is a terrific location to meet new people and develop meaningful relationships, whether via a formal group fitness class, an informal personal training session, or simply a regular exercise with a buddy. The gym's social atmosphere may be an excellent spur to exercise. It may improve the quality of your exercises, keep you on track with your fitness objectives, and give you a feeling of community. Don't simply plug in your earbuds and block out the world the next time you go to the gym. Spend some time talking to the individuals close to you. You might be pleasantly surprised by how much better the gym has become.

Why Should I Go To The Gym Today Making the Most of Your Gym Time with Personal Trainers and Group Exercise Classes Working with a personal trainer or enrolling in a fitness class might help maximize your gym time. They may give you individualized instructions, boost your motivation, and watch over your form to ensure you're not hurting yourself. Whether a complete gym rookie or a seasoned master, you may benefit from these materials. A personal trainer can help you achieve your fitness goals by designing a program specifically for you. They may advise you on improving your technique, pushing you beyond your limits, keeping you accountable, and inspiring you to keep going. However, fitness classes may be a dynamic and exciting method to get in shape. The social benefits of working out with folks who share your interests and motivations can't be understated.

Starting Your Gym Routine

The First Step Towards a Gym Routine Is Establishing Realistic Fitness Objectives Setting reasonable fitness objectives is a necessary first step before attending the gym. Establishing specific goals helps keep you motivated and on track, whether you aim to lose weight, gain muscle, or become more physically active. Establishing SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) objectives is an excellent place to begin. Instead of declaring, "I want to get fit," you may establish a goal like, "I want to be able to run a 5K in under 30 minutes within the next three months." This goal is SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely), focusing on a particular aspect of your fitness. What to Look for When Choosing a Fitness Center Location, equipment, programs, and membership prices are all important considerations when choosing a gym. Pick a fitness center that matches your schedule and preferences well. The most important fitness center is the one you'll go to, so keep that in mind. Choosing a gym's location is often important. You're less likely to work out regularly if the gym is inconveniently located. The use of proper equipment is also crucial. Verify that the fitness center has the necessary tools for your routine. Check the gym's class schedule if you're interested in joining a group fitness class. Lastly, think about the price. Prices for gym memberships vary greatly, so shop around to find one that works for you. What You Need to Know About Gym Etiquette Before Your First Visit Learn proper gym conduct before your very first workout. You should clean up after yourself, share resources, and avoid taking up too much room. If everyone follows these rules, everyone should have a great time at the gym. Cleanliness and consideration for the following user require you to wipe off the equipment afterward. Most fitness centers provide sanitizing wipes or sprays for just such an event. Knowing that others are waiting to use the machines and allowing others to work between your sets is essential to not hogging devices. In a busy gym, it is crucial to respect the personal space of others by staying out of their way.

How to Get Over Your Fear of the Gym and Start Working Out

Learning to Love Exercise by Accepting the Process The gym should be a fun place to spend time, not a place you dread. Find exercises you like doing, switch up your regimen to keep things interesting, and reward yourself often for your hard work. Going to the gym may highlight your day if you approach it appropriately. It's natural to feel nervous or scared while joining a new gym for the first time. But keep in mind that everyone must start somewhere. Feel free to ask for guidance if you need help with using a piece of equipment or completing an activity. In general, gym-goers are kind and happy to assist one another.

Methods for Maintaining an Effective Workout Schedule

Managing time between the gym and the office might be challenging, but it's not impossible. Workouts should be scheduled like any other essential appointment, and you should seek out opportunities to weave physical exercise into your day, such as going for a stroll during your lunch break. Working out first thing in the morning is one approach. This might help you get off to a good start, and make sure you get in your exercise before the day gets away from you. If you're not a morning person, try running during your lunch break or after work. Establish a schedule that serves you well and stick to it.

How to Keep Challenging Yourself and Make Progress at the Gym

Maintaining a high level of difficulty in the gym is crucial as your strength and fitness improve. In the gym, this may mean increasing your weight, trying new moves, or working out for longer. The aim should be growth, not perfection. One approach to continually pushing oneself is to establish new physical challenges. Create a new objective if you complete an existing one. This helps keep you enthusiastic about working out and motivated to do so. Changing up your usual routine is another option. If you're bored with your current fitness routine, try something new. This may give your exercises a new dimension and help you push yourself differently.

Maximizing Your Exercise Facility Time

Testing Out the Gym's Variety of Tools, from Exercise Bikes to Weights Feel free to experiment with various pieces of exercise gear. There's a wide variety of cardio and strength training equipment, from treadmills and ellipticals to dumbbells and resistance bands. If you are unsure how to use a piece of equipment, be bold about asking a member of staff or a personal trainer for assistance. Cardio machines are a standard part of many people's training regimens because of the excellent workout they can deliver. On the other hand, you shouldn't skip strength training. Muscle growth, a faster metabolism, and enhanced fitness are all benefits of weight lifting. Strength training with resistance bands is another excellent option. They're adaptable, lightweight, and can be taken anywhere for a challenging exercise. The Value of a Varied Exercise Program A varied exercise plan will help you engage all your muscle groups and prevent boredom. It would be best to vary your workout by including cardio, weight training, and stretching. Exercising your heart and lungs with aerobic activities like jogging, cycling, or swimming will help you burn calories and feel better overall. Muscle gain and an accelerated metabolic rate are two benefits of strength training activities like weightlifting and bodyweight workouts. Improve your mobility and reduce your risk of injury with flexibility training like yoga or stretching.

How To Fuel Your Body Before And After Exercise

How to Fuel Your Body Before and After Exercise

A strong correlation exists between what you eat before and after an exercise and how well you perform and recover. It's essential to nourish your body with carbohydrates and protein before and after your activities. Eat something with carbohydrates and protein before hitting the gym. If you're low on energy before a workout, this may be just what the doctor ordered. Eat a protein-rich supper or snack after exercise so your muscles can recover and strengthen.

Trends in Fitness Centers That Will Shape the Future

Technology's Impact on the Gym Experience in the Era of Virtual Fitness The habit of working out is here to stay. Technology such as online exercise courses and fitness applications make it more convenient than ever to get in shape without leaving home. Many individuals, however, continue to value a traditional gym's social atmosphere and equipment options. There are several advantages to virtual fitness. It's also usually less expensive than joining a regular gym. Thanks to the abundance of online exercise courses and fitness applications, you may discover a workout tailored to your interests and fitness level. However, an open physical gym can only provide some benefits. You may work out in a designated area, use various workout tools, and even participate in group courses or sessions with a personal trainer. A gym's supportive atmosphere may be another powerful inspiration for certain people. Sustainable fitness centers at the Crossroads of Ecology and Health Many fitness centers are implementing eco-friendly policies as the public grows more aware of their environmental influence. A few examples of this include installing solar panels to power the fitness center or switching to a more energy-efficient lighting system. Some fitness centers go the extra mile by recycling the power their members' exercises produce. Some fitness centers, including spin studios, employ bikes that generate power from your pedaling. Each pedal stroke contributes to powering the gym, reducing energy usage, and providing an added incentive for your exercise. The Long-Term Benefits of a Consistent Gym Routine Going to the gym regularly is excellent for your body and mind. The positive effects of exercise on your mental and physical well-being cannot be overstated. In conclusion, the next time you question yourself, "Should I go to the gym today?" recall why the answer is an unequivocal "Yes!"   Read the full article

[mordigen]

I had not written anything in a minute, as I typically use this as my sounding board, or soap box, if you will....but I guess things just hadn't gotten under my skin lately to make me feel the need to sound off. Which is a beautiful thing, I suppose, even if writing is lacking.

Indeed it has been quite....quiet, quite harmonious within the circles I frequent. Which is unusual, especially as we've had a couple Holidays, which usually stirs all the controversy. And I know with my last 3 part post I noted I had much more to talk about....but I've forgotten them all. So, they must not have been that important, eh?

It has been nice.

But (as there's always a but) in this quiet time I noticed something else - something I am certainly not unfamiliar with, but have never talked about, or confronted at all really.

I find myself feeling drawn away - and no, not in the depressive sense, as I am also certainly not unfamiliar with, but in a way that I have a hard time defining.

It is melancholy in the sense that it feels like a deep seated yearning - but not in a bad way, by any means, as I feel like if those yearnings didn't come and go over time, then I wouldn't be wholly myself. They are a part of me - they are not a bad thing, even if bittersweet.

They ebb and flow, and sometimes recede completely - at other times consume me completely. Though they usually hit me without warning, they start gradually and I can feel the oncoming tide. And once they've run their course, they recede just as swiftly, and gently, as they've rushed upon me.

It has happened for as long as I can, lucidly, remember. Though putting an exact date or age to it is difficult, as childhood memories tend to mesh and bleed together over the years, it can easily be said adolescence, at least, so it has been quite some time. But I still haven't ever gotten used to them, or have figured out how to cope with them - mentally or emotionally, anyhow. They do not prevent me from functioning or living my life, but they do wreck my mental state in a way. Though, I'm not sure I want to figure out how to cope with that...

I have been told by various people, at various points in my life, that I suffer from various forms of a disassociative disorder. Knowing I have depression issues I have investigated....but, No. Just no - it's not right. In all the many ones I have done ample research in, it's just not right - that is not me, that is not what I am experiencing. That is not what is happening, the "symptoms", even if some appear similar superficially, are all wrong.

When I say I feel drawn away, I do not mean I feel *detached*. That is a very big distinction - I'm feeling pulled away, to somewhere or something else, I do not feel disconnected. You can feel a connection to multiple things at once - so to be pulled into a something or somewhere else doesn't mean I have to detach, or "disassociate" with the here and now. I don't. Perhaps it is a foreign thing to try to describe to someone who has never experienced it before, and yes it is a hard to find the right words to begin with to really explain it in depth - but it's not that I "disassociate". Stop calling it that.

It is this very reason why I have never talked about it in depth at all, because even the slightest mention of anything puts others on high-alert. I know they are only trying to help, but no - you are not listening, you are not understanding. The best, and simplest, way I can recount it is like prioritizing. This thing - it's always there. It's always in me, and sometimes it just needs it's time. It doesn't even come first, as I still put all the needs and wants and important bits of this finite world first and foremost, but it needs its time in the sun, too.

As a child, they would say I was "dreamy" or just had an active imagination - I would day dream frequently, locked up inside my own head. Though I loved to play, and read, and write, and draw, I didn't need those things to enjoy my time. I could lay around for hours, in my own thoughts, completely happy and content, drawn away, off on an adventure, listening to the silent things whisper when they think no one is listening. I would doze and nap, and sleep extra long through the night - not because I was bored, or tired, but just because it gave me time in my own head - in my 'dreamland', where all these other things happened that wouldn't - or couldn't - in the waking world. As a young child, these were always described as good things....as a teen, it's often described as having your "head in the clouds" - something that is not necessarily good or bad, potentially problematic if left unchecked, but still nonetheless endearing. But as an adult? Phh. Well. Something must be wrong with you.

You're expected to grow out of it, but I find in adulthood it hits harder, and comes heavier, than ever as a child. Possibly because as children we're given room to indulge...it's creative, imaginative, learning to be content with your own company is touted as idealistic means of coping skills and personal growth - until it isn't.

For an extended time of my adult years I was wrongfully persuaded that it was hormonal as others had noted I tended to feel this 'drawing' around my cycle. I do get more emotional, and boy does the fatigue hit hard - but that still didn't make sense to me as it didn't happen *every* time on my cycle, and there were plenty of times it happened not on my cycle at all. Well, it doesn't have to happen everytime for it to be related, and hormones fluctuate throughout the whole month, so you don't have to actually be physically bleeding for it to be cycle related. What a cop out. With that logic, anything and everything under the sun and moon can be "cycle related". Bonus points deducted for the fact that every person telling me this was also, in fact, a woman. Shame. Lazy medicine right there. Lazy womanhood right there. And that's not even a feminist statement - that's just a common sense statement. Oh, so is every possible problem you ever have because of your period, M'AM ? So stupid. Stupider, yet, is that I listened to them. But I did, and I followed their suggestions - none of them worked, but with each new wave I would think the next would be better and easier if I just stayed the course - ignoring the fact that nothing was inherently wrong, and that this was only deemed an "issue" as it was categorized as "abnormal" and therefore must be fixed.

What I have come to realize now is that all those incidents - people wanting to categorize me with mental disorders, emotional disorders, or hormonal imbalances - call came at I time when I was, in fact, disconnected with something : my spirituality. I didn't have any type of falling out, or disillusioned from anything I ever believed in. Life just simply got in the way, I had more important things to worry about and do, and much less time to do them all in, so you just let certain things go that are not as pressing. Looking back at it now, I think maybe that is why they pulled on me harder in those years. Perhaps it was something drawing back in... I'd like to believe so, anyhow. And that's why I was stupid enough to believe doctors, and counselors, about stupid things I knew were not right - because I wasn't listening to the other half. And of course, nothing the ever suggested ever made one bit of difference - because it's not what was happening to me. And truthfully, because nothing was ever wrong.

As life started to level out, I slowly started doing little things here and there with my beliefs, with my workings. Little things, but baby steps, right? You can't just get off the couch and run a marathon - you have to warm up those muscles, start exercising those parts that have atrophied, and retraining your skills. Same applies - baby steps. It grew slowly over a few years - the tidal waves kept their course, as they do, and I just sort of accepted it at face value. But then the pandemic hit, and the world shut down. And boy, did I have all the time in the world.....and I used it.

Over this last year what I have come to realize is that, firstly - I was absolutely not alone. But also that I wasn't really paying as much attention as I thought I was - or my attention was skewed , by 'professionals', to focus on the wrong things. There was much more a pattern than I had ever noticed. These waves didn't come out of nowhere - though once they were on me, I could feel the gradual build - but before they ever even tickled my feet there were signs, there were patterns. I'd have days of restless nights, strange dreams, then it would fold into die-hard sleep, with absolutely no dreams at all - but waking as if I hadn't slept a wink and had been working all through the night. I'd wake with aches and strains, sometimes even bruises. We'd joke that our mattress was beating us up at night - we even forked out decent money for a brand new one. It's fabulous, and it solved zero of my problems, though my husband now sleeps like a baby...

It's only after these restless, exhausting nights does the tide start to flow back in, and the dreamy, dozey longing set in. The ache for something I cannot put my finger on, and the willingness to relent and let it take me away, even for just a time, and indulge in that pulling out to sea. I let it take me now - I do not fight it, I do not endure it, I let it take me and draw me out. And this is what so many professionals call "disassociating" - but that's not right. That's not what's happening.

And this is not some great spiritual come to Jeesus moment I am preaching to any of you, or certainly not meaning to be, but just the simplicity of paying attention. We, as pagans, just have the driven, inherent understansung that there are many more forces, and much more out there than what you see on the surface. And I had forgotten. Though I've kept my mouth shut, I've taken note when the topics and discussions come up - tons of people were in my very shoes. But they had been paying attention all along. I had forgotten. Some of the stories thrown out there I can't always get behind. Some of them are just flat out - No. But there were many more that weren't - they talked of the moon. The conjunctions. Astral travel. Being spirited away in the night. The veils. The Oran Mór. I was so stupid, I had been so blind.

And then, this year of much more laxed time gave me the opportunity to actually listen. These tides... their pattern.

The restless nights always came with the moons - these tides, they always came around significant dates....days when the veils are thinning. And now, as I feel the sweeping tides begin to pull again - here we are. Bealtaine is on the horizon. And as I wrack my memories.... every time.

Every. Time.

What is happening to me exactly? I still do not know - is this the call of the Oran Mór? Are the veils pulling at something deep inside me? Are the Fae trying to steal me away, as so many are quick to warn... Is there danger in letting the tides take me? Is this some deeper part of me being drawn home, trying to jar me to pay closer attention to things I have left forgotten? Something in there makes me think of my brothers...

I don't know all these answers, but I can't ignore them now that I've taken the time to listen. What I do know is that, whatever they may be - I don't want these tides to leave me. And believing that doesn't give me a dissociative disorder.

[mdrkb017-blog]

Exploring distinction Between insurance Broker & Agent

Welcome,

Are you in search of reasonable health insurance?

Have you been considering multiple insurance aspects for days, however powerless to form a firm decision?

Are you finally thinking to avail of some help?

Do you need to travel with an insurance agent or an insurance broker?

Wait, does one think about want agent and broker to be the same? If therefore, you're a mistake.

HEALTH INSURANCE BROKER AND insurance AGENT square measure DIFFERENT!

Though insurance brokers and insurance agents act as middlemen between the insurance company and other people searching for insurance, the very fact is that each square measure quite completely different.

Let’s explore the insurance broker and insurance agent one by one!

More,

 What is an insurance broker?

 ·         A health insurance broker is one World Health Organization represents the insurance emptor. He or she provides the client with a comparative analysis of various insurance policies to assist the client purchase the simplest one in line with their medical and money desires.

A broker claims to act within the interest of the client. Brokers share a legal relationship that supported trust with their customers. However, the shoppers have a whole right to tug their broker to court just in case their square measure any disputes.

Health insurance trade specialists, insurance brokers hold the experience to find the simplest policy for one’s medical desires at an inexpensive value. conjointly certificatory in managing associate degree insurance arrange, brokers, facilitate in any issue with a claim, coverage eligibility, etc.

 What is an insurance agent?

 ·         An insurance agent is one World Health Organization represents insurance firms. whereas captive agents represent one insurance underwriter, freelance agents represent multiple insurers. Insurance agents square measure allowed to sell policies on behalf of insurance firms that have granted it a rendezvous (a written agreement that specifies the types of merchandise the agency can sell and also the commission the insurance underwriter can pay for each).

Licensed and trained by the IRDAI, insurance agents don't seem to be responsible, within the sense that they can't be dragged to court if their square measure any disputes. The insurance underwriter is the one to encounter and handle legal troubles. Note that just in case of any wrongdoings, the agent will get his or her license canceled.  

In the agreement created between the insurance underwriter and also the agency, the latter is given a commission for every product that's sold-out as per the merchandise list.

 The distinction between broker and agent?

 ·         While associate degree agents might not reveal or emphasize the drawbacks of a product, a broker provides associate degree honest assessment and comparison of all insurance policies within the market.

While agents could have very little or no contact with the TPAs or Third-Party directors, brokers possess Brobdingnagian contact with TPAs across the country.

While agents not could also be able to increase a customer’s issue because of restricted exposure, brokers will do, therefore.

While agents, in most cases, offer solely insurance services, brokers provide upbeat programs, check-ups, and different services associated with insurance.

While agents might not hold specialization within the aforesaid field, brokers hold specialization within the insurance field because the brokerage companies sell insurance policies primarily.

While agents don't have to be compelled to talk terms on behalf of shoppers and gift their case because it is just in case of disputes, brokers square measure masters of negotiation because of their increased insurance mental object, thereby serving to in breakdown outstanding problems.

While agents reach providing customized service to customers, brokers square measure additional skilled and work by the operation of the organization.

 Which one to choose?

 ·         Opting for an insurance broker or insurance agent depends on your specific medical and money desires.

If you need any explicit reasonably coverage, selecting a broker would be an excellent selection. However, if you're further from the insurance underwriter you would like to shop for from, choosing an associate degree agent will be a selection.

·         Also, Read

Symbol, New-Age general agent provide protect Marathoners and Spectacle consumers

OPD Expense collage: five insurance Policies That Cover OPD Expenses

visit

 Conclusion

 ·         When selecting between broker and agent, build it a degree to be further from your necessities within the initial place. Do keep in mind to scan the variations between the 2 to own a transparent understanding of your mind.

For additional regarding the simplest insurance firms and cheap insurance policies,

 Visit our web site: https://www.healthinsuranceagent.com/

[naromoreau]

Hooked on you

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw x F! Dep

Rating:Nsfw, angst and fluff and smut

I'm dedicating this to the absolutely awesome @leavenopathuntaken for encouraging me with her amazing art and words.

Thanks to @absurdwanderlust and @deputyshitlordsantana for encouraging this shit.

__________________________

Well fuck. Of course all had ended tits up. Not that he’d other expectations, ‘cuz when it came to consider a scenario involving him and a chick like Dep, things just-- just didn’t work out. And it hurt. Worst than the well known kick in the nuts. Hell, he’d take an extra ration of those just so, so- Fuck. Just to get out of that emotional dry spell.

He ain't an idiot. There’d been something bouncing back and forth. Small, real smooth hints that made his heart thud and his mind spin at night when the memories wheeled around. But outta the blue, one day she just-- slow fade him. Nothing too obvious. Just the same show he already knew, the same sad song he’d already danced. Maybe he’s just overthinking it.

No. The little voice inside his head has it right. She’d been joshing with him, that’s all. Just pure teasing between friends and he’d swallowed hook, line and sinker. Like a complete moron.

It’s a matter of time now. I mean, it may be the end of the world or whatever but-- She’s gonna find someone. ‘Cuz she’s hella pretty and, and, not that he’d check her out or nothing, but yeah. She’s gonna find someone. And the thought just tastes wrong.

Why he had to fall for her like that? He ain’t a fucking teenager to keep believing that when push came to shove, she’d stay or say what he craved to hear. And fucking Christ in heaven, this time he’d been hit hard. Shovel on the head kinda hard.

“Thanks for coming with me, man,” she says, severing his brooding thoughts.

Even looking at her is downright painful, the dimples of that smile making his stomach twist in knots, and those eyes, man. Sparkling something that Sharky is never sure to grasp entirely. “It’s ‘aight, shorty, I got you.”

“I know  you ain’t a fan of the Wolf’s Den, so I really appreciate it.”

He ain’t a fan of anyone who throws glimmering mistrust in Dep’s direction, not after watch her bleed in his arms, clumps of sweaty wayward hair sticking to dusty cheeks, as the fear rends his heart to shreds. Not when it’d been real easy for her to just kick everyone to the curb and run away. It’s rude and just outright disrespectful. “Nah, it's cool dude, I can deal with the claustrophobia for a bit,” he lies.

She chuckles with her eyes riveted on the road, but the frayed smile tells Sharky she’s far from feeling fine.

“Dep?”

“Mmm?”

“Uh, I know it’s not my business but uh, you ok?”

White-knuckled grip at the wheel before she cracks a lopsided grin in his direction. “Sorta.”

He ain’t sure if it means he should or could pry or pester her further, or if she’s politely telling him to fuck off. So he shuts his mouth. Self-preservation at its finest.

“I mean yeah,” she continues after a few seconds, but her voice is all wavering now. It makes Sharky uneasy, “but I haven't seen Staci since I got him out of Jacob’s bunker and I don't know, I guess-- I guess I’m a little rattled to see him. It could’ve been me y’know?”

“Don’t say that, man.” Never say that, he wants to say, but his voice is harsh and--. He swallows, thick. Better to chuck that idea out the passenger window, ‘cuz thinking about a reality without Dep is just-- better not to amble in that direction.

The car skids to a stop outside Wolf’s Den, and they hop off making their way inside. He nods at Wheaty on the entrance. That guy is promising, real potential right there, and maybe he can stop by to check on his vinyl collection while Dep’s busy visiting her friend.

At his side, she fidgets, frowning and giving small exhalations as if she were preparing to run a marathon. Sharky cocks a brow. He’d never seen her looking so tense, not even after he rescued her from that flossy motherfucker’s bunker.

“Hey, chica, uh, want me to stick ‘round?” Sharky almost reaches his hand to brush the hunched line of her shoulders, closing his fist to thwart his impulse, ‘cuz touchy-feely is not a line of action he recommends to himself. Not now. Probably not later also.

“No, it’s ok. I just-- I’ll be fine.” She gives a gingerly squeeze to his arm and his brain takes it as a cue to send butterflies fluttering down in his gut. Out-and-out juvenile.

He gulpes and smiles in a silent acquiescing, trudging away from her, every line and wrinkle on his face twisting in flat-out dejection.

He doesn’t snatch his eyes away from the threshold until her footfalls fade in metallic echoes.

------------

He does a mental inventory of all the goodies Wheaty allows him to take back to his trailer park. Lotsa fun stuff to blast while melting peggies and swaying his fuckin’ pantless ass just to show them Seeds they can’t take him down. It’s been well past an hour and he juggles with the vinyls in his arms meandering through narrow corridors, skirting piles of supplies cluttering up on the floor, trying to reach the room Eli always assigns to them when they’re in the premises.

The darkness is uninviting, scrambling his sense of direction and time. And he’s hungry and hopes Tammy doesn’t appear around a corner ‘cuz she ain’t that nice. Then a muffled sob. A strained groan. Sharky joggles to the room closer with the door ajar.  Somebody is losing their shit and he can’t blame them. He’d be close to if it wasn’t for-- Whatever. But help your neighbor and all that shit, even though he ain’t the most adequate candidate for that stuff. He’s more than aware of that. When he gets real close, he sets apart two distinct pitches, and his heart leap to his throat recognizing one as Dep’s.

He should’ve taken a step back and get the hell outta there, ‘cuz it ain’t gentlemanlike to go snooping around in other people's business but Dep is there. And he needs to know she’s fine. He peers through the slight opening watching Pratt crying all over Dep’s shoulder, hands clinging to her waist borderline hysteric. He really feels bad for the guy, having spent a good chunk of a month tucked away in Jacob Seed’s personal rendition of hell.

But in the flick of a second his breath freezes in his lungs, the buzz of his blood roaring in his ears. ‘Cuz Pratt is kissing Dep and as much as it’s gut-wrenching to see he can’t tear his eyes away. Like a fucking masochist. Every swipe of his tongue and every second of shared breath stings deeper and deeper, until it’s too much and he forces his legs to unnail and wonkily take him someplace else. Anywhere but there. An ache rises under his breastbone, eyes chockfull with tears, arms tingling and dropping his cargo with a loud clunk on the floor. Breathe. Miraculously he reaches the familiar room with bed bunks and closes the door for good measure.

What the fuck had he been hoping for, really?

Like she’d just turn and say hey man, actually I’m into you? Real fucking stellar. Of course that Pratt fella had the upper hand. He has a real job and not a shady piss business, probably not one forced check-in at County Jail and they both even click in the age department. Not that he thought of himself as old but she’s almost twelve years his junior, not that that shit matters when he’s a complete loser in every aspect of that pathetic thing he dares to call life. He climbs to the upper bunk, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand, and just maxes out in seething silence. ‘Cuz it ain’t fair to her but that jealousy thing man, it seeps and twinges and soaks him all, making him clench his jaw and grit his teeth.

Sundry feels whirl up inside him, heels diggin’ in the thin ass cot and fuck, there it is, that feeling bursting under the surface. Fuck. The need to set some shit on fire, like he usually does when he’s crashing down. Down, down.

“Shark?”

He should’ve jumped and run away, but he’s three feet above the ground and has great value for his bone’s integrity.

“‘Sup Dep?” There’s a flickering wave in his voice. Shaky. Unwanted, definitely not convenient tears stinging his lashes. He oughta nip them right in the bud ‘fore she sees them and yeah. That’s not--

“Hey, are you ok? I just- uh, just wanted to know if you wanted to go and eat something?”

Yeah, no thanks. Just to sit there and watch them both-- His stomach rolls over, tight and heavy as lead. “I’ll pass, uh, not, not really hungry today, sh- man.”

Shorty. Sounds fucking outta place. Something born out of his shy-ass attempt to say more. Needing more but ending with less. And he’s waiting for her to jerk her hand in that particular, very Dep like way to say good riddance, you’re not worth my time. But she stays.

His stomach growls of hunger just then. Fucking traitor.

“So, uh, not hungry then?” She moves one pace closer to the bed bunk. Yeah. She's not falling into it.

“Nope.”

And she really needs to go, and leave him alone. Gnawing his misery. Regaining his breath that now is just scorching his lungs. And he doesn't see. Eyes closed under a warm forearm.

A gentle tug at the hem of his pants, makes him groan in his raw throat. “Shark,” she says with that mellow tinge, “what’s going on? could you just--?”

She won’t let that shit fly. ‘Cuz he knows her. ‘Cuz she’s Dep and Dep is a problem solver. He bites his lip. Blinking, once, twice. A blessed drag of his hoodie over sodden eyes, and he prays. Begs. That she just won’t notice.

“Uh, I’m, I’m kinda ragged up, Dep.”

“Seriously man, what’s going on? You’re starting to freak me out-- could you just-- come down here. Please.”

Dude, it’s cruel. ‘Cuz she really cares. It’s such an earnest pleading he finds his legs moving despite his own blockade. When was the last time someone acted like he mattered? Like they actually cared?

He’s down. And she’s sitting on the bunk studiously looking at the wall. Yeah. Allowing him the courtesy of pretend it’s all normal. ‘Cuz Dep ain’t stingy.

Sharky swallows. “So uh, here I am, what, uh, what do ya need, Dep?”

“You can just sit here, y’know? I don’t bite. What’s got into you?” She scoffs.

She gives something like a general glance in his direction. And he sits. ‘Cuz not doing it is just plain giving that’s something’s off. And things would be better if he just had a beer can in his hand.

“What happened,” she asks finally looking him in the eye.

His mouth goes dry. “I uh, I hit my foot with the uh, the pole of the bed.”

She gives a soft snort and let it pass. “I talked with Staci,” she says. Sharky would’ve prefer to being hit by the bat of a grimy peggie than trekking into that direction. “He’s in really bad shape, and I just-- God, Shark, you should’ve seen him, there’s no trace of the guy who used to steal my coffee in the mornings.”

He knows he should say something. But his words are swallowed by the yawning chasm in his stomach. He hums an agreement.

“And I just-- I was thinking, y’know? I’m barely holding my sanity here and it’s all because of y’all.”

She rubs a hand across his. The column of her neck cranes, cranes ‘til those green eyes pierce into quicksilver ones and he can’t hack that shudder. A wild one. She reaches an arm and runs experienced fingers along his jaw. That warm, indistinct thing curls in his chest. Adam’s apple bobbing with a hard gulp.

He sifts her face. Pent-up reactions lingering in the moment. Hooded eyes, tugged up lips. Suspended. She takes a deep breath and is the last thing Sharky can hear before--

She plunges.

Her lips are pressed to his, his fizz of thoughts lost in one stroke. He’s not expecting it when she opens her mouth. Breath goes shallow but his tongue dips, dips up and down. Circling. Greedy. Eyes closed, it’s too perfect to last. An unwanted flash before his eyes. Black beard, tan skin. Not his. Not him. Fuck.

He pushes her off.

“What the fuck Dep?” He hates it. Hates himself. He should just take it and be happy with it. He can’t. Giveaway blur on his eyes. “Ain’t you with Pratt or somethin’?”

“What?”

A sharp blow. More like a, like a real keen strike. Right to the face. But he’s right. And now he’s not sure if he should say it but he will ‘cuz Sharky’s mouth has a mind of its own.

“C’mon Dep, I uh, I saw you back there, I mean it’s cool, y’know? Don’t sweat it, but I’m uh, I’m not into steppin’ into another dude’s territory.”

He’s sure he’s doing right. Being a gentleman and all that shit. ‘Cuz he’s not that much of a fuckin’ asshole. No matter how much he wants it. Jump in and dive.

“You saw it?”

Her hand is gone. Flat, emotionless voice reverberating in the tiny space.

“Yeah.”

“And-- did you happen to hear what happened after that?”

“Uh, nope. I mean it’s not my business to be skulkin’ around to listen convos--”

“But it’s your business to take fuckin’ conclusions without all the information?”

“Uh--” Wordless, lame-ass response. Not much to say to not look like, like a goddamn idiot.

The line of her shoulders ease down, and she lets out a deep, heavy sigh. “It’s not what you think, Shark,” she says and he clings to that believe so he bites his lip, to not screw up his chances. “He was just-- It wasn’t nothing romantic y’know? I’m the first fuckin’ person he sees that actually knows him from before all this clusterfuck started.” She shakes her head, a crink around her mouth. Sad, gloomy smile. “It  wasn’t as much as a kiss, as uh, I don’t know-- cling to a lifeline I guess.”

She smiles, a hand finding his cheek again. He actually leans into it now, fears now flaky as she scoots closer. Warm thigh against his. “Y’know? There’s a-- a common practice in the department,” she says, thumb rubbing circles on his stubble, and he’s doing everything he can not to sigh like a fuckin’ damsel, “to always focus on the things you care right? Your family, your pet, whatever. You know who I think of every morning?”

He’s paying attention. For the first time he is. Brain nailed to her train of thoughts. “B-Baby Carmina?” he says, voice thick with things he doesn’t comprehend still.

She laughs. Clear, ringing bells kinda clear. “I love my goddaughter but uh, I think you’re playing dumb, dude.”

His pulse flutters. Quick. Escalating into speedily beats, palms damp. He’s all jittery and dizzy, ‘cuz she’s looking at him, sporting a vexing grin. “Uh, Dep? My chick radar is kinda rusty y’know but I’m-- I’m picking some signals here? Just uh, just tell me what to do.” The words roll in a whisper, mouth a dry mess.

“I’ll show you.”

She speaks with a sense of finality just to kiss him as soon as the last vocal fades in the air. Soft lips against his chapped ones. Soon her tongue follows, sweeping along every nook and cranny. Warm and teasing, wheedling low moans from him with every push.

He holds her. Closer. Tighter. It takes him a moment to daze off and click back. This. This right here. All he’d ever wanted. Fuck, it feels good.

He runs his hands down, fighting gravity to not fall back. ‘Cuz they’re sitting on a friggin bunk and he ain’t sure she wants to--

Fuck, she does.

Her hand slips past the waistband of his pants, under his threadbare boxers. Erection now throbbing between her fingers. He pulls her down, arms around her waist.

They fall in a panting heap. Muscles and curves pressing him right where they should be. Like a fucking puzzle. A perfect puzzle.

She slides off him for an instant, and he complains. A groan. But she smiles, shedding off her clothes and breath catches in his chest. He’s burning. Sweating like a pig in the summer. His threads are gone in a heartbeat, not thinkin’ about the beer gut he has come to terms with, or the other fuckton of things that could sour this moment.

“You sure ‘bout this, Shorty?” He asks, ‘cuz he has manners and, and not that his pulsing cock is pressing between her thighs already.

She dips down. Kisses him again. Slowly, sweetly, taking her time. “Are you?”

“You really askin’ me that question, amigo?” he says breathless, both hands making an arrow direct to his dick.

But it's not just that. He’d never wanted anyone like this. Not just a fuck. Not just the feeling of being spent but hollow. He needs the aftermath more than he needs the sex.

“Look, gotta be real honest with you, shorty ,” he says, feelings finally frothin’ out from deep-six within him, “‘cuz you uh, need to know ‘fore all gets weird. I just, I think I love you man.”

He doesn't know what he’s expecting from Dep. Cool, controlled Dep now staring at him, bare and on top of him. What a fuckin’ sight.

“I love you too Sharky.”

Certainly not that. Clean, direct answer, no shades or ifs. It feels weird. Like watching a familiar movie with a different ending.  A happy one. He smiles, white teeth through thin lips.

He shifts his body, mouth now roving over her collarbone and she arches. Soon he’s all over her nipples. Okay. He’s good at this. This is where he excels.

He sucks her breasts, touching the warmth of her skin, reaching to every place he can find. The drag of his lips is making her whimper, and his downstairs complain. Twitching. Impatient.

“Fuck, Shark,” she says dreamily, fingers squeezing his cock and lining him up to her entrance.

Slowly, she takes him in. Maddening tightness, slick and hot engulfing him one inch at a time. She eases down on his dick and he’s just about to lose his cool ‘cuz, ‘cuz he’s balls deep inside her.

“Oh, shit, shit, Dep, fuck,” he whines. He grips the side of her thighs, groaning deep at the back of his throat.

She hums, lazy smile tagging a long with a roll of her hips. Oh shit. It’s taking him a goddamn effort not to ram artlessly and let go. But he ain’t a selfish ass.

“You feel so good, Sharky,” she says, drawled words all low and throaty.

That’s his name, that’s his fuckin’ name right there. “Shit, babe, you’re the one to talk.”

Air is suddenly not reaching his lungs. He’s high of her, trying to find his pace, amidst overwhelming sensations. He rocks his hips, steady movements among the gut-twisting little moans she’s giving. At least he’s doin’ it right.

Dep’s bottom lip disappears in her mouth, and heat pools in his groin when her rhythm increases. There’s a blush spreading on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose when he thrust harder to meet her downstrokes.

“Fuck, Shark, yes!”

His fingers dig in her hips to find leverage, sinking heels on the mattress to rock faster, relishing the awe on her face and the blurry haze on her eyes. God, he loves seeing her like this. He’s not sure how long he can take it, his heart already pounding in his ears, head spinning under the delicious friction in every pounding. But sure as fuck he’ll try. She lunges forward, knees burrowed in the cot at the sides of his thighs and palms curled around his shoulders, regaining control, now actually fucking him into the mattress.

“Jesus, fuck, Dep--” he manages to stutter, “y’gonna be the death of me y’know?” He means it and it’d be a fuckin’ good way to go west.

She licks her lips, and he catches a faint smirk and pupils blow wide before he surges to meet her, hand cradling her head. Teeth clicking, tongues swirling desperately, steamy breaths puffing while he’s sure he’s about to break. His mouth trails off, going down the rim of her jaw, dappling her skin with bruises through hard sucks.

The pressure is unbearable, and he’s close, so damn close, feeling the sparks of searing hotness flaring up from his balls, fanning out ‘til his pelvis and his spine seem about to explode.

“I can’t- fuck, Dep, I can’t.”

She kisses him again as an answer, crying out the moment he angles his hips. The hug of her walls is too much, clenching around his cock, pushing him to the final inches of his climax.

“Dep, I’m ‘bout to--” He tries to pull off, but she keeps him pinned in place.

And if he needs more assurance, she roots her hips down, eyes locked on his. “It’s ok, Sharky, I want you to.”

And he loses it. Fucking Christ, he loses it.

He pulls her down, groaning, burying a final, heavy sigh against her skin. His body tenses, mind-wrecking spasms running along his dick and his balls and he’s dazzled by the popping lights under his lids. Sharky holds her, peppering her face with light kisses as the throbbing fades and the spurts stop, the buzz in his ears lowering to zero.

“That was good,” she says playing with a curl of his hair, draped on him.

“Fuckin-A, babe.” His words are still catching in his throat, a hand placed on her lower back.

He wallows in the moment. Just feeling, not thinking. Trying not to be surpassed by the little things he has never appreciated after the fact. ‘Cuz it wasn’t with her. Yeah. Soft breathing, quick heartbeat thrumming against his chest, the way her skin shines under a thin sheet of sweat. And sweet Jesus, that lavender scent.

“So uh, this means we’re like--together? As in, as in a couple kinda together?” He finally asks. He ain’t bad reading signals but now, he needs the assurance. The certainty. He needs the words leaving her mouth, one hooked to the other.

“Nah, you’re just hot and I wanted to jump your bones,” she says with a grin, “of course it means we’re together, as in a couple kinda together, you big oaf!”

Sharky finally relaxes, feeling the strain of the task and the raw emotions soaking in his bones. “Y’know shorty? Don’t get take this the wrong way but uh, I’m actually kinda beat down, so Imma take a shut eye real quick, ‘mkay?” And then he quickly adds, “please, don’t go.”

She laughs, pulling the blanket over them both and curls against him, warm and comfortable snuggled against him. “You don’t need to apologize, Shark and I’m not going anywhere”

He nuzzles the strands of hair splayed on her shoulder and dozes off to the soft rhythm of her breathing, coming to terms with the awesome reality tickling under his fingers.

[bryonysimcox]

Spring has Sprung and Life Continues: Week 11, Spain

Another week spent in the Catalunyan countryside as coronavirus lockdown continues. Here are my reflections on the arrival of spring, broad beans, ecological economics and the launch of ‘The Hundred Miler’.

This last week has seen the welcome face of April - signalling that spring is certainly here along with the arrival of Easter. It’s a time associated with new life, new starts, sunny days and longer nights. Even though we remain in full lockdown here in Spain, it feels as though we can draw upon the changing season as a source of assurance.

The week started with something rather special. I finally got to drive Suzi!

When we first bought the van in Summer 2019, I was still only 24, and it was really expensive to get me insured on it. There seems to be a transition point for insurers at age 25, so George and I had always agreed that after my birthday at Christmas, we’d get me on the insurance. But we never got around to it, partly because of the additional expense, and partly because it wasn’t a huge priority, until the start of March. And then of course, we were in Valencia and the lockdown hit, so we had nowhere to drive to even once I was insured!

My first drive here in Catalunya was pretty fun, even though it was just a trip to the supermarket. Because we’re in lockdown, the roads are super quiet which has been great, and the roads around the cottage aren’t tarmaced, so I could do some offroading as well. I’ve since driven a couple more times to and from the supermarket, and it’s so nice to be behind the wheel again. I haven’t driven since we owned our last van, Casper, back in Sydney!

(Images, left to right) My first time driving Suzi the HiAce, and a throwback to driving our last van Casper.

On the topic of Sydney, I have been doing some serious reminiscing. It’s almost coming to exactly a year since George and I flew back to the UK from Australia, and anniversaries always tend to bring on waves of nostalgia. It’s mad to think that a year ago, we didn’t own a van, not least have a clue about where we’d be living in the van! And of course, there’s no way I’d have imagined that we would be stuck amid a pandemic-induced global lockdown. Oh, to have the gift of foresight... 

The year that ensued after we left our friends, jobs, and security blanket of Sydney was an absolute rollercoaster. We naively aimed to have the van built and prepped in a matter of months, and when the van-build rolled over towards Christmas 2019, I felt like an absolute failure for not having finished it sooner. And yet now, upon reflection, I guess it’s not such a bad achievement to have managed to buy and build Suzi the HiAce, both of us get jobs in Manchester and move into a flat there, launch our documentary channel ‘Broaden’ and set off for Europe all in a year.

We can all benefit from a bit of self-reflection to put progress into perspective.

(video) Broaden’s latest video; an overview of who we are and what we’re about. It’s helped me to reframe some of the successes of this last year.

I feel like a stuck record, but food is a wonderful experience which punctuates the repetitive days of lockdown. Last week I wrote about calçots, a deliciously sweet spring onion special to this region and eaten with Romesco sauce. This week, it’s all about broad beans. The garden here is full of them, so I’ve been tasked with picking and podding. Most of them are fat enough to be podded, and are even better if you go the extra mile by blanching them and removing their skins. The smaller ones can be eaten as they are, and make for a lovely crunchy stir-fry ingredient too.

Preparing broad beans can be time-consuming, but also a wonderfully cathartic activity. My granny in Scotland used to have plenty of these beans in her garden, and I remember summer days spent picking and podding with my mum. We’ve stored plenty here in the freezer but have also kept some fresh and I am continually finding ways to incorporate them into our meals. A quick call to my well-resourced mum also resulted in her sending pages and pages photographed from Jane Grigson’s vegetable book: not only with plenty of recipes but incredibly detailed descriptions of the vegetable’s history and qualities too.

(images) Beautiful fresh veggies from the market were a highlight of the week, as well as picking these broad beans straight from the garden. The bowl on the right is what was distilled from podding four huge bags’ worth.

The resurgence in cooking and baking whilst in lockdown is inspiring, but I’ve been thinking about how it affects our supply chains as well.

Just this morning on BBC News I saw an article about dairy farmers having to throw away vast amounts of milk as cafes, hotels and restaurants remain shut, and another article about how there’s been an insane increase in demand for flour, as everyone takes to home baking. Many mills are now working around the clock to meet the demand in the UK and I was especially interested to read that even if there’s enough flour that there’s a shortage of packaging, because usually only 4% of flour produced goes into the smaller bags that we see on supermarket shelves.

Coronavirus has triggered so many changes in how we live and how we behave, that it's wreaking havoc on supply chains like this, and of course, the economy. That said, whilst the negative effects are hard to deny, scientists, economists and ecologists alike are suggesting that we should leverage the situation as an opportunity to reflect on how we all live, and how we might return to ‘normal’ life without just returning to business as usual. I agree: this is a unique opportunity to reassess production and consumption, how we assign value to things, and the economic and political models that we use to govern our world.

The connection between global lockdown, coronavirus, climate change and our economy has really got me thinking.

I recently read an incredible article by ecological economist Simon Mair in Singularity Hub which looked at this relationship. The article pulled together disparate strands that have been on my mind for a while, each related to various books which I’ve been reading, and which I can now see are interconnected. Simon suggests that the Covid-19 crisis could be a chance to “expand our economic imagination”. He explains that coronavirus, like climate change, demands a type of downscaling, counter to the ‘wartime economy’ mentality and massive upscaling of production. 

“If we want to be more resilient to pandemics in the future (and to avoid the worst of climate change) we need a system capable of scaling back production in a way that doesn’t mean loss of livelihood”, says Simon.

The article is full of gems, and Simon explores things such as our current addition to economic growth and productivity, the transfer of healthcare and labour goods out of the market and into the hands of the state, and the social forms that could come from an ethic that values care, life, and democracy. It answers some of the questions posed by George Monbiot in ‘How Did We Get Into This Mess?’, echoes some of the radical economic theories proposed by Kate Raworth in ‘Doughnut Economics’, and parallels ideas of democratic market socialism put forward by ‘How to Be an Anti-Capitalist in the 21st Century’ by Erik Olin Wright which I’m currently reading. Simon’s article has really got me so fired up, in fact, that I’m working on an idea for a new video which explores the topic, so watch this space.

(images) Three fantastic books which I highly recommend.

On the subject of videos, Broaden has been one of the only things keeping us sane! I am eternally grateful to have a creative outlet in times like these, and one which involves a collaborative partnership with George too. Whilst we aren’t able to explore places in the van, or capture footage for new films as we’d love to be doing right now, we are at least able to edit from the cottage and work on promoting the content that we are already releasing.

It feels so tricky to get the right tone when releasing videos during a global pandemic.

We are both conscious of remaining sensitive to the severity of the health crisis, whilst balancing that with the reality that life goes on, and that people still want to see pictures, watch videos and read articles that engage with other topics too. As Broaden, George and I obviously made the decision to launch our documentary ‘The Hundred Miler’ during this time, and I hope that people see it as a celebration of running, the natural world, and human resilience, and perhaps even an escape from the daily news of the virus, rather than something insensitive or badly-timed.

(video) Trailer for ‘The Hundred Miler’

‘The Hundred Miler’ comes out this Saturday 11th April, and we have been overwhelmed by the response already. People have really got behind the project, helping to share it on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube and widen its potential reach. George has been making this film for well over three years, so it feels like an immense milestone to finally have it shown to the world. I don’t think I know many people who hold themselves to such high standards as George, and so to have so many positive messages and people planning to tune in for the live premier on Saturday is the best affirmation of all his hard work that I could wish for. It has been a pleasure to see him create this documentary, and also to have been involved in the production and final stages of its creation.

The Hundred Miler is a film about three Australian guys, taking on the biggest race of their lives; UTMB.

‘Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc’ is renowned in the trail-running world, as one of the most challenging and scenic ultra marathons. The Hundred Miler is an attempt to bring this story to the masses, and we hope that it appeals to non-runners and runners alike, for its underlying themes of companionship, commitment and strength. It premiers live on YouTube at 10am in the UK, which is 7pm in Australia on 11.4.20, and after that the video will be available to watch as a normal video. You can find BTS footage and more information about the film on our Instagram here, details of the launch on the Facebook event here, and the link for the video itself here. You can also subscribe to Broaden’s YouTube channel and set a reminder for when the film goes live.

(video) ‘The Hundred Miler’ which goes live on Sat 11th April.

 It goes without saying: I am really missing the open road and living in a van. And I’m not immune to fear of the future either. But as the days and weeks pass, we learn to adapt to changing circumstances and continue to find hope among them. In a way, it helps to know we are all in the same boat, facing a topsy-turvy life full of roadblocks and revelations. Thanks for tuning in to read my weekly ramblings and I hope you’re all keeping as well as you can be. Until next week!

[kcwcommentary]

VLD6x03 – “Monsters & Mana”

6x03 – “Monsters & Mana”

I love this episode.

This show has done several non-standard episodes, and they are at the bottom of the list of episodes for me. This one is the exception. This is my favorite episode since season two ended (though I do like 3x05 “The Journey”).

The episode is basically the Paladins sitting around playing Dungeons & Dragons, and it’s great. When I first watched this episode, it was part of my big marathon of seasons 3 through 7, and I had no idea this episode existed. When it first started, I instantly thought it seemed like D&D, so the more I realized that it was, the more excited I got about the episode.

We start with a monster pursuing Pidge and Hunk’s characters. Pidge’s character is geared up in heavy armor, and Hunk’s character seems to be a wizard, what with his casting a lightning bolt spell. That spell does next to nothing, and as they run away, Hunk’s character says that he’s “a healer, not a fighter,” so then how did he get access to a lightning bolt spell. I mean, he looks enough like a cleric that I thought he was one, but the lightning bolt spell made me think I must be wrong and he had to be a wizard. It doesn’t really matter.

The ogre (looked like an orc to me, but they eventually call it an ogre) continues to chase them, and he has an ocarina that he uses to make Hunk fall asleep. Pidge is immune to sleep because she’s playing a dwarf character (of course Pidge’s character would be immune to negative things). She uses a jump attack to smash the ocarina with her axe, giving Hunk a chance to cast some binding spell on the ogre. Pidge whacks the ogre sideways with her axe (can’t show a big giant wound like an axe would cause), and they defeat him. In a bit of cross-genre RPG content, the ogre poofs into a floating crystal more reminiscent of monster deaths in video games.

The crystal is one that neither Pidge nor Hunk have seen the likes of before, and Pidge proposes taking it to an innkeeper who for some reason she assumes will know more about it than the two of them do. I know the episode is setting up the innkeeper being the villain, and I know this episode can be looser with logic given its non-standard style of story, but that is an unexplained jump in logic for Pidge to make. Apparently, Hunk’s character’s village was turned to stone, so that’s his quest, to un-petrify them. Hunk’s character, anxious about travelling to wherever they’re going, says of his village, “I mean, they’re not really going anywhere.” That made me laugh.

They arrive at the inn, but apparently have no money for food. The animation changes to have a 16-bit RPG style as Pidge smashes some pots looking for coins. I have smashed a lot of pots in video games in my life, so I love that moment. They take the coin and Pidge orders a “greasy meat pile,” which the Coran-innkeeper calls a “health plate.” It kind of makes me go eew hearing Pidge specifically order it “greasy.”

Coran’s innkeeper NPC is something. Seriously tall, like giant-level height, super muscular, but hair that seems like more of a feminine style, but ever still Coran’s mustache. The innkeeper says the crystal is the type some evil wizard named Dakin uses. He’s, of course, located inside a dungeon.

As the innkeeper tells Pidge and Hunk where that dungeon is located (mirroring Lotor telling the group about both Oriande and the rift between realities, wherein they fight at the end of the season), Shiro’s character in a shadowy corner of the inn speaks up. I super love Shiro’s character. He’s a paladin! It’s really sad though knowing that the EPs thought they were mocking Shiro himself by having his character be a paladin concerned with protecting and helping people. It’s kind of infuriating that the EPs think there’s something wrong with a person just being a good person like Shiro is.

Anyway, Pidge and Hunk go over to talk to Shiro. Hunk says his character is named Block, and that he’s a sorcerer. I’m kind of confused now. Not that this episode is adhering to an actual game system, but with Block having earlier said that he was “a healer, not a fighter,” his being a sorcerer doesn’t feel right. Being a sorcerer matches the spells he’s cast though, so it was that particular “healer” line of dialog that is the dissonant element. Pidge’s character is named Meklavar, a fighter.

I love Shiro’s character wearing a shiny crown/horn in place of his white floof of hair. He gives the backstory of his character. He was chosen to be a paladin at a young age. He was raised in a monastery, but one day a leviathan-demon attacked, destroying the monastery, and killing his master. (He was educated at the Galaxy Garrison, and one day a Galra ship attacked, setting of his quest.) The master’s last words and immediate death is making fun of the cliché of so many stories having of a character dying as they say something important, and I laughed. And then the master is still alive just long enough to speak again and die again. And Shiro, recounting the tale while sitting in the inn, cries a big, long tear. The moment definitely plays with some tropes.

Hunk and Pidge’s characters get up and walk out of the inn. (Granted, they’re playing characters in a game, but it reflects their non-game character that they walk away from someone they’re supposedly friends with. Any decent friends playing a game together like this want their friends to feel included in the game, but that’s not their behavior here.) The sound of Shiro’s voice panicking, saying, “Where are you guys going?” as Block and Meklavar leave really gets to me.

Then Block says, “Man, that guy was so boring.” This is the voice of Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery talking about Shiro, not just Block talking about Shiro’s character in the game. This infuriates me. This is textual proof to go along with what they’ve said in interviews about how this episode is supposed to be mocking Shiro. JDS and LM always thought Shiro was boring. That’s why they resented being told they couldn’t kill off Shiro. One, if a character is boring, as head of the creative team, it’s your fault that that character is boring. Two, Shiro was never boring. That they think of him as boring tells us about how JDS and LM think about people. They think that someone who wants to serve and protect aren’t good people, that there’s something wrong with them being that way, and that they think no one could find value in a character who displays those qualities.

Shiro’s character refuses to stay behind and runs to join Block and Meklavar. Then a giant mouse attacks, eating Shiro. Cut to the table that Coran, Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge are playing at. One of the mice is chewing on Shiro’s character miniature. Shiro is mildly incredulous that Coran is declaring his character dead in the game just because the mouse jumped on the table.

Coran says, “Don’t worry, you can just make a new character.” There is a differential in people who play RPGs demonstrated here: Some players really don’t care about characters. As some people far more clever than I am have said, they’re the kind of players who roll play, not role play. Player characters for this style of player are little more than the numbers on the character sheet. For others of us, the character is a lot more than what’s printed on that sheet. We invest ourselves emotionally in our characters, think about their backstory, and can’t just discard them so easily when they die in game.

Shiro takes his mini and puts it back on the table, saying, “I’m going to be a paladin again.” Yes!

Coran says, “Come on now, do you really want to play a paladin?” and then lists a bunch of other classes.

Shiro counters, “I don’t know what’s more fulfilling than being a paladin.” I love it!

And Coran is animated angry and yells, “But you’re already a Paladin in real life!” Coran then growls. I’m sorry, but no. Coran getting angry here is unjustifiable. Why does it bother him if Shiro wants to play as a paladin in the game? (Because it bothers the show’s EPs and writers that they have to include Shiro as a Paladin in the show. The EPs wanted to get rid of Shiro so that they could have Keith as the Black Paladin, and so they’ve written their anger at not being able to into Coran’s dialog. Of course, they were eventually able to talk their way into completely sidelining Shiro in seasons 7 and 8 in order to get what they wanted in having Keith be Black Paladin.)

Also, this is technically the clone playing the game here, not the actual Shiro. The show eventually blatantly proclaims the clone to be an “evil thing.” But here we see the clone and subtextually here he’s telling us how much being a Paladin means to him. Here the clone is showing us through that subtext that he is not evil. He, as much as the real Shiro, cares about helping people, about serving and protecting. We saw that in 4x01 “Code of Honor” when he begged the Black Lion to let him help the other Paladins. But again, the EPs think that this makes a person “boring.”

Allura and Lance enter the room and see them playing. Allura is interested in joining them, though Lance is skeptical since it involves a book. He also freaks out over the idea of a d20. Lance asks if they don’t all have something more important to do (ignoring the fact that he himself isn’t doing anything important right now). Pidge and Hunk are waiting on diagnostic to run on some system of the Castle Ship.

Shiro responds, “And I’m trying to take a mental break. We’ve been going really hard lately.” Awe!! Let Shiro have some fun! (Especially since the show almost never writes him to have any moments like this.)

Lance is more interested in playing once he hears that Allura wants to play. Sigh.

We return to their game. Block, Meklavar, and Shiro’s character are walking through the woods. Allura’s character, an elven mystical archer, joins them. Lance is a cat-eared thief named Pike, which he says is not a thief but a ninja-assassin. He poofs around with smoke bombs, and loudly yells about his character “lurking in the shadows, silently watching!” The effect of having him yell so loudly about being silent is funny. And then they see him stealing money from a pouch. So yeah, thief.

Allura’s character summons a flying mount that they all then ride on to the dungeon.

I love Block asking, “Did anyone remember to bring torches.” Needing to see in dark environments is something RPG players are kind of notorious for forgetting, so Block’s comment is so very meta.

Shiro then says, “I really think my character would have remembered to bring a torch.” I do agree with him, and a good dungeon master, game master, or as Coran’s calling himself in this episode lore master wouldn’t be so strict as Coran is here. It reads more like Coran is again voicing the EPs’ dislike of Shiro. Allura realizes her character an make an arrow glow, so they have light.

They come to a dead-end in the dungeon. Lance says, “Maybe you just have to knock,” knocks on the wall, and they door is revealed. It totally references back to 1x01 “The New Alliance” where he gained access to the Blue Lion by knocking on its forcefield. So of course, I’m now thinking of how Blue valued Lance so much that she let him in just because he knocked, and then by moving Lance from Blue to Red, that bond he’s had with Blue from the beginning was senselessly taken from him.

The episode then goes meta again by having Lance’s character, as the thief, have to check for traps on the door. My experience suggests that the presence and use of traps in D&D is such that players rarely speak about the process in any in-character terms, only in terms of game mechanics. The way the dialog is written here totally matches that real way checking for traps is usually handled in games. So, Lance rolls low, the trap is triggered, and everyone plunges down a shaft/highly sloping tunnel. Once they fall out into the open, Block casts a spell that gives everyone a flying chicken to hold on to so that they don’t fall. The chickens are funny.

Then, there’s a montage of the group fighting various monsters, until they come upon a giant pile of gold and treasure. Allura gets a “quick draw quiver with a magical creature-summoning arrow.” Pidge gets “goves of transmutation,” the description of which kind of makes me think of Allura’s alchemy. Lance gets an invisibility cloak. Hunk gets a bowl of endless food because of course he does. (Sigh.) And Shiro gets a “blazing sword.” This makes me think of Voltron’s sword’s flaming version, and then I again think of how this show takes being the Black Paladin away from Shiro. As soon as his character lifts the sword, he’s super excited, and then he gets hit by black and red lightning and dies screaming, his hair-floof crown and the sword being the only things left behind. And how do the others’ characters react? Pidge says, “Ooo, he dropped a rare item.” They don’t care about Shiro.

The innkeeper is the villain. A silly, simplistic twist like this is okay since they’re playing a game here, but it does reflect on what the show is doing with Lotor. Like the innkeeper, he was brought in as an ally to the Paladins, providing them with information about where to go and what to do, and then, out of nowhere really, he’s suddenly not a good person but a villain. It’s a process that’s fine when they’re all sitting around here playing a game, but the main show itself needed to do way better than this.

Shiro’s new character arrives, teleporting into the dungeon. Shiro’s twin brother Jiro, “here to complete Shiro’s quest.” It has to be a meta reference to the clone story. And still, his new character, like the clone, is a good person, trying to help and protect people. Pidge responds, “A paladin again?” with a lot of derision, so this is more of the EPs’ dislike of Shiro being written into the meta-dialog of the characters. It doesn’t hurt anybody for Shiro to play whatever character he wants, so how about you shut up, Pidge.

Dakin talks about Block’s petrified village, saying, “I’ve already siphoned off their life force.” Clearly, this is a cryptic foreshadowing of Lotor’s colony and the Alteans there being the source of the unexpected quintessence. It almost feels like this is the show semi-consciously recognizing that how the rest of the season writes Lotor is super underdeveloped and shallow. Either the writers know they wrote Lotor’s end badly and just didn’t have the writing skills to do better or weren’t allowed by the EPs or something, or they actually think they’ve written Lotor well and are just mirroring it here, unaware that this reveals how shallow they wrote Lotor’s end.

Dakin blasts Jiro with flame, and his shield even generates some glowing forcefield-like energy to help deflect the blast. I love shields as tools and symbols, so I love that his character has one.

The episode changes animation style again to look like that of a video game while Allura’s character shoots enemies with arrows. The party takes damage, and Allura uses a “healing arrow,” complete with yelling the name of the ability as she does so – that’s meta. There is something odd, in a funny way, of shooting someone causing them to be healed.

Jiro then vows to avenge his twin. I wish with this show had Shiro care about the clone after it falls as much as Jiro cares about Shiro. If the EPs thought Shiro was a boring character, then how about writing him to want vengeance against Haggar for what she’s done to him and to all the clones the same way Jiro wants revenge here? It would have been a plot that would have let the show wrestle with the implications and significance of the clone story instead of just instantly forgetting any of it ever happened.

The shot from behind of Jiro running toward Dakin… yeah, that’s nice.

They keep fighting, Block casting “embiggen” on Meklavar, who grows giant and axes Dakin.

Jiro speaks, but with Shiro-the-player’s comments, “This game is so amazing. It requires problem-solving, teamwork, creativity. All the skills you want to imbue when doing team-building exercises.” I love Shiro going a little nerdy in the moment. I love seeing and hearing! him be excited about something. He’s clearly having fun. And it also reflects his character as a leader that he sees the game through that lens of leadership and teamwork. But remember, this guy is supposed to be an “evil thing.” Grr.

And Lance then yells at him, “Stop trying to ruin our fun with learning!” Stop trying to ruin Shiro’s fun, Lance. This show lets Shiro have such little fun as it is!

Surprise, Dakin isn’t dead. With the show using Dakin to foreshadow and mirror Lotor, his not being dead here could be read as further foreshadowing, a hint to the viewer that Lotor’s story isn’t over just because he dies at the end of the season. But it’s not.

Dakin is now a dragon. Block is hurt, and Allura shoots another healing arrow. Pidge gets smashed by a dragon tail. Shiro tries to draw the dragon’s attacks away from the rest of the characters, just like a tank character like the paladin class usually does in RPGs. Hunk realizes they need a plan, so he casts a “secret” spell, and the players huddle away from Coran to devise that plan.

Pike distracts the dragon with his quick speed and cloak of invisibility. Block throws out some food from his endless bowl. Meklavar transmutes the food into oil with her gloves. Allura summons what looks like a hippocampus, a creature from Greek mythology with a horse-like body, fish-like tail, and wings. Jiro mounts it, lights his sword on fire, and sets the oil on fire. The fire destroys the dragon.

Victory.

Pidge and Hunk have a breakthrough on what they’re working on on the Castle Ship. Lance reacts, saying, “Somehow I understand the fantasy words better than the science ones.” Is that the writers telling us that they know they don’t understand the science they try to write into this show?

Shiro says, “I can’t get over how great that game was!” It’s so nice. This man deserves to have fun!

Allura comments about how the fun of playing has made the time go by quickly, and Lance, of course, responds out of his attraction to Allura, “We have pretty good time together, don’t we?” She says, “We sure do,” and this feels like it’s setting up the idea that the problem is Allura just hasn’t realized the right guy for her (Lance) has been there all along, and that she’s wrong for having not been interested in him before. I really do not like this trope of romantic storytelling (and the ignorance it demonstrates some men to have about women).

Lotor contacts Allura to tell her the ship is ready to begin testing. Lance is instantly dejected, but I guess at least this jealous reaction isn’t one of anger and arrogance. Coran offers another round of playing, and Lance says sure.

Shiro says, “I want to be a paladin again.” So much meta on this line. It reflects how being a Paladin is so fundamental to Shiro’s character arc, and it makes that the show takes being a Paladin away from him infuriating. It also again reflects the goodness of the clone, and it makes the show declaring the clone to be an “evil thing” infuriating. And of course, Lance and Coran react like Shiro’s wanting to be a paladin (and thus the show/EPs/writers thinking Shiro being a Paladin) is somehow weird.

It amazes me that the EPs thought this episode would get viewers on their side in thinking Shiro was boring. And if I understand the broader audience reaction to this episode, that backfired on the EPs, as this episode just further reinforced for viewers why they like Shiro so much. At the least, it did so for me.

[nycwellnessguide]

The belief that healing is a one way street can be a hard one to shake: we live in a society that believes the right solutions are the ones that take the least amount of time and are proven to work for all. For a patient seeking wellness, this kind of thinking can create guilt, close-mindedness, shame, and in some cases, financial loss. For, when it comes to wellness, it’s patience, adaptability, and personal preference that are the building blocks to a successful journey.

Today, we have access to so much information thanks to all the different media. Websites, blogs, podcasts, books, and articles serve as an entire atlas from which we can plan our journey toward optimal health. In this sense, there is no such thing as a mistake or wrong route: only u-turns and sharp rights; and the patient can get to know his or her body and mind better along the way. Yet, due to the societal pressures regarding a health journey, many receive the influx of information as an overwhelming pile of contradicting notions that they’re meant to sort through as if it in it were hidden the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Health Factory.

Fortunately for us, there is no golden ticket to health. Health is personal: there comes a point where blood results and x-rays no longer measure what we know our body is meant look like, feel like, and be capable of. If we begin believing in uniformity regarding something as complex as the human body, we are just as ignorant as the idling heckler whom marathon runner Latoya Shauntay Snell recalls crying out from the sidelines, “it’s going to take your fat ass forever.” And if we begin to believe there is one correct approach to wellness, we are just as arrogant as youtubers Freelee the Banana girl and Abbey Sharp, whose careers revolve around praising or shaming people’s diets.

There’s not been enough revoking of the outdated “take a pill and you’ll feel better” or “one size fits all” mentality towards wellness. Many are seeking wellness, but they are seeking it with rigidity. Up until recently, having food allergies at a dinner was received as being a “picky eater” in certain European countries, because the widely considered the healthiest way to eat was eating a little bit of everything. Online, we still see the close mindedness regarding diet choice. “I don’t want to get murdered by people” jokes Cartia Mallan explaining her reluctance to admit she’s no longer vegan, “this is why I don’t talk about my diet much— and even when I was plant based, I didn’t like to speak about it too much.”

“The popular logic behind an elimination diet is to remove the foods that most commonly tend to trigger an inflammatory response in the body” explains holistic health coach and nutritionist Lori Tsey, but “diet is case-specific, so [discovering] the best diet plan for an individual has to do with a wide variety of factors, including environment, season, genetics, stress level, age, and beyond.” Indeed, Keto, Vegan, Paleo, and more all seek to do the same thing: reduce inflammation; granted, in very different ways. But that difference is blessings: if one approach doesn’t work for you, the other just might. And if none do, that’s just fine too. “A fantastic approach to improving the Standard American Diet” Tsey reminds us, “is to crowd out, or replace, the highly processed and refined foods with minimally processed, whole, plant-based, and organic foods when possible.”

The remains of a healthcare system proven to be too structured and simplistic in its values is tarnishing the efforts of open minded individuals who seek healing. Over the recent years, health and wellness have proven to be an everchanging act of self-love. When understanding health and wellness as a custom-made creative journey instead of a pressure filled, time-sensitive inconvenience, we heal. The level of responsibility and success in our health-state is best measured in how much we care, not in how correct we sound, or how much we’ve recovered. In healing, just like in art, there are no mistakes. Real progress happens from dedicated, insightful, and aware self-experimentation. And with the right amount of surrender, self-belief, and patience, the true masterpiece can be created.

[cnzmendoza]

Discovering the Map to Remission

How an MDMA-assisted therapy trial saved John Saul’s life

His hands felt frozen. It was frigid and windy outside, but 50 degree weather was normal for Sausalito, California. And besides, even if it was warmer, his fingers would still feel stiff and close to paralyzed. 

John Saul struggled to get out of bed. It felt like he had the flu. His body was fatigued, his head throbbed, and even the smallest movements would leave him out of breath. He had felt the same way the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that one, too. In 2012, he was diagnosed with systemic scleroderma, an incurable autoimmune disease that led his body to attack itself. Now three years laters, he had work to do as always, so he had to get up. He popped half a Percocet and started his day. 

He flipped open the San Francisco Chronicle, and his eyes shifted to an unusual article. The title read “Ecstasy therapy approved for trial in Marin County.” Two therapists, Dr. Phil Wolfson and his wife Julane Andries, were seeking patients for a clinical therapeutic trial. They were looking for people with life-threatening illnesses. They were looking for someone like John. 

This clinical trial would be part of a Phase II study on MDMA-assisted therapy. MDMA, or 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine — more commonly known as ecstasy or molly — is often seen as a party drug. Its ability to produce transcendent bliss and unfiltered connection has made it popular at raves and night clubs, but the possibility of traumatic hallucinations and death have perpetrated the drug’s stigma.

John had never used MDMA before, but he’d dabbled with drugs briefly as a kid. Growing up in La Cañada, California, he would sneak out on a full moon night, make his way to the Pasadena hills near his home, and trip on psilocybin mushrooms. Given that he was only in middle school at the time, he remembers not knowing how to process what he experienced during those trips. “All I knew was that I felt the presence of something different,” he says. “It was something much bigger, almost like another force of life.” 

Though MDMA would be something new for John, he wasn’t fearful. In fact, he was filled with the same curiosity that thrilled him as a young teenager, an eagerness and sense of excitement that had been dormant for decades. “At that time, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. The trial gave me hope that I would have some sort of say in how my life played out.” Now, John hoped that this alternate life force could help in the ways that everything else had failed to do so.

A nonprofit organization called The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) would conduct the trial, as it had raised millions of dollars for research funding. MAPS was founded in 1986 by Rick Doblin, who has spent his entire career researching the therapeutic value of psychedelic drugs. He wrote his Master’s thesis on marijuana use for cancer patients, and in 2001, he received his Ph.D. from Harvard after writing his dissertation on the regulation of medical use for marijuana and psychedelics. 

Collaborating with doctors and therapists around the world, MAPS also designs the studies and works with the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to gain regulatory approval and ensure safe, ethical protocols. After a successful Phase I, which is primarily to test out safety regulations, MAPS was now continuing the Phase II study. Other trials in South Carolina and Colorado were aimed at treating post-traumatic stress disorder, and now MAPS was looking to treat anxiety caused by life-threatening illnesses. The purpose of the therapy was not to cure these illnesses, but rather to give people peace and to help them gain control of their hindered lives.

Many people assume that those with life-threatening illnesses have anxiety because they’re in the face of death. “That’s a sure source of the anxiety,” John says. “But, at least for me, death is way easier to accept in comparison to just how hard life is. All I’m thinking is How am I supposed to go on?”

Systemic scleroderma struck John fiercely at age 47.  He had been an athlete all of his life, wrestling since he was 8. He got involved with sports in high school, and eventually went on to wrestle for the division-1 team at Cal State Fullerton. He went to the gym daily, sailed boats, and ran half-marathons. His life as a jock had kept him outdoors, fulfilling his everlasting urge for adventure.

But now, at 50, his joints ached like they were plagued by arthritis, and his hands swelled so much that they were stuck as if holding a microphone. Scleroderma causes an overproduction of collagen in the body, which is typically most noticeable in the hardening of the hands and the face. John’s fingerprints had vanished, and his skin morphed into a waxy, mannequin-like consistency. The extra collagen essentially affected his whole body, but if it were to get into his lungs, heart, or kidneys, he would die. He always had a slight headache and felt chronically dehydrated. His stomach acid raged within, and his bowels were constantly irritated. The skin on his stomach was so tight that he couldn’t stand up straight, and the rest of his skin burned and felt toxic, like he was lying in flames. It hurt just to touch it.

The only thing that could keep him going was his opiates. 

Each morning he would wash a tiny pill down with a glass of water, just to gain enough courage to get out of bed. The painkiller’s effects would only last for about two hours, though, so he would take several a day to numb himself.

John had spent the last several years building up his own yacht-brokering business, and he was thrilled to be in a profession that he loved. Even more so, he was proud to be the owner of a company that was finally gaining some momentum. But as his disease progressed, his body began to mimic the elderly grandparents who made up most of Sausalito’s population. For months now, John had little energy or motivation to live. 

There is no cure for scleroderma, only treatments to lessen the symptoms. For years John tried everything to maintain a normal life. He had a chest port inserted in his body to directly inject antibiotics into his veins, which had been proven to help arthritis. This treatment was beneficial for the first year as it minimized the hardening and aching of John’s joints, but he continued to use it for longer than he should have. He received the antibiotics for another two years, and his digestive system weakened as a result.

He went through every nutritional aspect that he could think of, testing out which foods triggered the disease. Because of a fragile digestive system that would lead to bloating and bowel irritation, he had to cut out foods like red meat and dairy products. He tried to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into his diet, but that could only do so much. 

He tried traditional talk therapy for a brief time, but he found the effects to be short-lived. Exercise, which had been his coping mechanism since high school, also seemed to be completely out of the picture. Even a trip to the grocery store would leave him out of breath, and he couldn’t drive back home until he sat in the car, reclined his seat, and napped for an hour. 

Working from home also took more energy than he could afford to give. He could barely pick up the phone to call clients because his hands were crippled, and their waxy texture didn’t provide much grip. His business was losing money, and he was becoming isolated from his work and friends. The thought of death, and the anxiety of awaiting its arrival, secluded him even more from real life. Perhaps, he often thought, it would just be better to end his life himself.

As he held the San Francisco Chronicle in his waxy hands, he knew that he had to enroll. This trial, he believed, would be his very last chance. 

John reached out to the MAPS trial researchers and got in touch with Phil and Julane. Phil told him that he certainly qualified for the trial, but he would have to go through an interview and some tests before his spot was guaranteed. John drove to the site of the trial, which was only twenty minutes from his home in Sausalito. He went up into the Muir Woods, on the windy road and through the infinite, colossal redwood trees. Finally, near the top of the mountains, he reached Phil’s office.

They told him in order to participate in the trial, John had to have a clean drug test. This meant cutting out the opiates that had been his saving grace for almost four years. “Opiates get a really bad reputation, but they truly kept me alive,” John says. 

Phil and Julane gave him a tapering schedule to manage the withdrawals that were sure to come as he laid off the opiates. When he got home, he looked at the clock. The last time he had taken an opiate was at 9am. He had always known this day would come, but now it was really time. He ripped up the schedule and threw it in the trash. He wouldn’t put another opiate into his mouth. 

The withdrawals were torturous and the pain so petrifying that he couldn’t sleep. In the early hours of the morning, he called his best friend, Jim. His body was on fire. His heart was beating at a million miles per hour, throbbing so hard that it might break through his chest at any moment. Sweat gushed down his face, and his fragile body shook like it was being electrocuted. He felt nervous and agitated as excess energy vibrated throughout his bones. The energy wasn’t the kind that he used to feel after a half-marathon or a boat race. Instead, he wanted to strangle someone, but he also wanted to weep. It had only been 18 hours since his last opiate. 

The opiate withdrawals were so agonizing that it was often hard to tell the difference between physical pain and mental anguish. But this was all he had, so it would have to be worth it.

In the fall of 2015, John was accepted into the study, and once more, he drove up the curvy mountains to the study site. The sunshine illuminated the wooden walls and the burgundy and light brown furniture around the room. The panoramic windows displayed the sea of green and the heavy clouds that were preparing for a storm. By the middle window, there sat a kind of shrine. Two pots of vibrant orchids were surrounded by candles, tiny figurines, and a picture of the therapists’ 16-year-old son Noah. 

Before the initial dosing, John had several therapy sessions with Phil and Julane. They told him that by the end of this process, they would know him better than anyone, and better than he knew himself. He was encouraged do “homework” in between sessions. He would take notes on things that he knew he needed to work on, and things that made him severely uncomfortable. These sessions would help the therapists, and MDMA, guide John through life and death.

His first MDMA dosing took him into another realm. He popped the pure MDMA pill that Phil had created in 1983. He laid on the “tripping couch” with his eyes closed and feet posted up. Ambient music played in the background. About 30 minutes passed, and he was flying. The colors around the room were the brightest he had ever seen. Each element was amplified and begged for his attention. The books on the tables, the paintings on the walls, and the plants around the room all came alive and greeted him with extraordinary personalities. When he closed his eyes, bright geometric patterns would dance around the back of his eyelids. 

Phil and Julane placed their hands on him, and for the first time, John experienced one of the most profound parts of MDMA-assisted therapy: human connection. 

He was wrapped in safety and comfort, and Phil and Julane took on the role of surrogate parents. “It felt like being bundled up and coming home from the hospital after you’re born,” John says. “It just felt that good.”

They told him to go in, drift inside his head, and let the medicine do the work. 

His life began to come alive like a picture book on a coffee table. People in his life would come onto the pages in the most crisp, vivid colors he had ever witnessed. He could take his time flipping through every page, remembering the purpose or the lesson that each person provided him with. Time became abnormal, and he would feel like he had been in the picture book for hours. It would really only be about 30 minutes. 

Phil and Julane would nudge him lightly after some time, and invite him to sit up. They had work to do. They would give him some gentle guidance, but ultimately, he would begin to talk about whatever was on his heart. “MDMA has some kind of intelligence that’s hard to describe, but it knows exactly what to bring up,” says John. 

Marcella Ot’alora, the principal investigator for the Colorado PTSD trial, explains that MDMA activates certain parts of the brain while lessening the activity in others. It effects the amygdala, the part of the brain that elicits fear, by making it less active. It releases serotonin and oxytocin, which establishes a sense of wellbeing, encourages self-acceptance, and heightens the bonding with therapists. Judgement is also not so present, which makes patients feel kind and affectionate toward themselves and others. Ot’alora emphasizes that seeing yourself and the world this way, especially when processing trauma, is a critical component in therapy.

Words would fly out of John’s mouth with the ease of reciting the alphabet. He and the therapists would shed light on the darkest, most uncomfortable parts of his life. They would discuss and analyze, all going down the same road collectively, for an hour or two before John would start to lose energy. He would then lay down again and get lost in the picture book within his mind. This went on for about eight hours, and when the MDMA wore off, he would spend the night at the study-site. John says that this first session felt like he had done 15 years worth of therapy in one day. 

The euphoria that John experienced is one that has stunned scientists and therapists for decades. MDMA was synthetically developed by a German company in 1912, but its use was dormant for several decades after the initial creation. It wasn’t until the 1970s that Dr. Alexander Shulgin, who obtained a biochemistry Ph.D. from UC Berkeley, first began to develop his own MDMA. After some self-experimenting, Shulgin relayed his excitement about the drug to Oakland psychiatrist Leo Zeff. 

Zeff, mutually mystified by the healing powers of the drug, helped Shulgin spread the word to dozens of other psychiatrists and therapists - one of whom was John’s therapist, Phil. Their hope that the drug could enhance therapeutic practices showed promise, but their campaign was short-lived. Although MDMA’s value was becoming known in a small medical community, it was simultaneously gaining fame in the party scene. 

The misuse of MDMA, paired with Ronald Reagan’s war on drugs, led to its placement as a Schedule I drug in 1985. This meant that it would be illegal, had no medical value, was likely to be abused, and lacked safety for use with medical supervision.

Though John was thrilled for what he believed would be a revolutionary therapy, the legalization of MDMA for therapeutic purposes has been difficult to fight for. The recreational use of the drug has resulted in a nationwide stigma. Especially since the rising popularity of raves, MDMA’s recreational use has been fatal for many in the U.S. The deaths related to the drug have also been publicized by the media perhaps more than any other drug in recent times. According to the Los Angeles Times, at least 29 people have died since 2006 because of drug-related causes at raves hosted by LA-based companies. A majority of them had MDMA in their system at the time of death. 

These deaths, affecting people from the ages of 15 to 37, have understandably struck fear and anger into people all over the country. While the effects of MDMA are euphoric and otherworldly, the drug can be high-risk if used recreationally. Death is a possibility without safety precautions and a genuine understanding of how the body and the drug work together. 

MDMA-related deaths have been caused by a multitude of different scenarios. Many people who died from MDMA-related causes were also found to have had other drugs in their bodies at the time, such as cocaine, heroine, and methamphethamines. Nevertheless, ecstasy or molly pills are almost never pure MDMA and can contain mixtures of other unknown substances. 

Because high body temperatures are a natural reaction to MDMA, dehydration and over-hydration have also played significant roles in these deaths. Aside from the dangerous physical effects that can occur when an MDMA dose is not properly monitored, the mental effects can be just as damaging. 

Environment is a crucial component for MDMA trips because, as experienced in the PTSD trials, the drug has the ability to bring up traumatic memories that may have been suppressed for years. Without proper preparation and guidance, the drug can cause mental anguish that can further traumatize people or lead them to take life-threatening measures.

Because of these possibilities for harm, MAPS researchers have put together strict protocols to ensure that their patients’ bodies and minds are protected at all times. This protection comes from a variety of mechanisms, the first being the therapists’ genuine knowledge of the drug and its powers. Their expertise is necessary to monitor the patient’s body, such as their heart-rate and body temperature, to observe any negative reactions to the drug. Because MDMA enhances the way the brain processes its surroundings, a balanced physical setting is also imperative. The trials require a fairly quiet environment, which is void of any external stimuli that could cause negative distractions. To further create a sense of safety and tranquility, blankets are provided and ambient music is encouraged. Perhaps most importantly, it’s crucial for the therapists and the patient to establish an alliance - a relationship that is built on trust and empathy. This is one of the most revolutionary components of the therapy as it proactively guides the patient to build healthy relationships and use human connection as a healing tool. 

The trials have taken place in several parts of the world, including the U.S., Israel, and Sweden. So far, the small sample sizes have been relatively small, and almost all of the trials have been funded by one organization: MAPS. Though the trials have some questionable attributes, the results have been quite promising.

In 2008, Michael and Ann Mithoefer completed the first MDMA-assisted therapy clinical trial. They published the study in The Journal of Psychopharmacology in 2012, which aimed to treat individuals suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. They stated that out of 19 patients that received the MDMA treatment, 14 sustained significant benefits at their long-term follow-up, which occurred during an average of 3.5 years after the dosing. These results were measured by the Clinician Administered PTSD Score (CAPS), which shows the patients’ symptoms, as well as the severity of the symptoms. Two patients relapsed, and three did not complete a long-term follow-up, which results in a 74% positive result compared to 89% without the inclusion of those who did not follow-up. Though the results have been positive, what’s even more promising is the length of time it took for individuals to heal. Before the trials, each patient had received ineffective therapy for an average of close to 20 years. MDMA-therapy, on the other hand, was able to provide long-term healing for the majority of its patients after only two sessions, over a span of two months. 

About a month after John’s first MDMA dose, he was back with his feet posted up on Phil and Julane’s tripping couch. He was lying on his back, staring up at the wooden ceiling. An oil vaporizer produced steam which danced around the room gracefully. The sun shined on the particles, and when the light struck a certain way, the steam slowly curled around the therapists’ faces. 

He was mesmerized by the dancing steam when a thought suddenly struck him. It was a thought that had haunted him for years, one that he had convinced himself was the truth. His lips parted open, but before he could even get a syllable out, everything stopped. Even the faintest sounds had paused. The particles in the air stood in place. Phil and Julane stopped breathing. Time was still. 

John heard a voice, partially in his head but also within the room. He felt an instant sense of guilt, like a puppy that had been caught chewing a shoe. Chills went down his arms all the way down to his feet, and the voice told him, “There’s only truth in this room.”

John knew instantly that the words that were about to come out of his mouth were false. Though he spent much of his life believing them, he hadn’t been honest with himself. Because his parents were so stern, he was always in fear of punishment. Even the thought of getting in trouble was terrifying, so John learned to lie. He became such a good liar that he began to lie even to himself. The voice halted him, and everything around him, to remind him of what was true. In that moment, John began to respect his own personal truth.

John’s dishonesty was one of several uncomfortable topics that the MDMA brought forth.   Relationships, financial issues, self-esteem, and other tender spots were among the others. Though normally John would have been avoidant of these topics, the MDMA allowed him to talk through them with ease. 

Family life was one of the most crucial things John analyzed during his sessions. He was born when his parents were only 19, and he felt that his upbringing lacked the warm affection that he had grown to crave. When presenting unpleasant moments, the MDMA would play short movies of his life back to him, with memories drifting from as far back as the age of five. 

In the midst of his tripping, John saw a memory from when he was six years old. He had been outside playing with friends when another young boy purposely hit him in the mouth with a baseball bat. His lip was bleeding, and he ran home screaming with tears running down his face. John went to look for his father, expecting him to open up for a hug, clean his face up, and feel sympathy for his son. Instead, when he saw John, he stood up and filled the room with anger. He marched toward John, and John quickly forgot all about his bloodied lip. Now he was afraid of his father. He ran out of his house, while his father chased him for three blocks until he reached the house of the boy who hit him. 

“Is this the boy that did this to you?” his father asked. John nodded his head.

“Was it an accident?” John shook his head. 

“Okay,” his father said. “Hit him.”

John obeyed his father and proceeded to harm the boy who had bloodied his lip. Looking back on the memory, John remembered how brutal his father’s lesson was. At the time, he had always seen his father in that way - an aggressive, strict, and hardened man. But looking back, almost 50 years later, he began to understand that this was the only way his father knew how to care for him. Though he didn’t hug and kiss John when he came home sobbing, he taught John to stand up for himself in the way that his own father had taught him growing up. John grew to be what he calls “a gentle fighter,” one who fights with his words and deeds rather than with physical actions, but he came to understand that this self-defense mechanism stemmed from his father. 

After his second session, John was faced with something he hadn’t felt in years. He felt courage. The MDMA, though powerful as it was, did not reveal answers to him in the open. Ultimately, he was left to sort through his experiences on his own. The feeling of bravery had almost become unfamiliar to him, but he wanted to act on it while he could. His body was still rebelling and he hadn’t been active in years, but he thought that now he might have the power to change that. He decided to purchase a pair of running shoes. 

On that day, he went to his favorite old running trail. He was only able to walk and jog about half a mile. He breathed heavily as sweat ran down his face, and he finally made it back to his car. This was nothing compared to the 13 miles he used to run, but he was exhausted. Though his entire body ached, he felt a different kind of high - a surge of adrenaline, mixed with relief and gratitude. 

“It hurt like hell, but it felt like my body was thanking me.”

John’s last session with Phil and Julane was perhaps the most pivotal moment of his life. John was lying down and looked over at Phil for a quick moment. Phil was staring out of the window, with the sunlight shining on his face, illuminating the tears that were running down it. Suddenly compelled by an urgency of strength, John sat up. “Lay it on me,” he told Phil. Their roles were now reversed.

For the first time in his life, John felt competent to hold a sacred space for someone else. Phil began telling him about his son Noah, who had died at 16 of leukemia. He told John about the family’s struggle to accept Noah’s fate, and how MDMA was one of the ways in which Phil and Julane established their own resilience. Eventually, after years of arguing and answer-searching, Phil, Julane, and Noah found acceptance. They understood that Noah would be gone soon, and he was able to die free of anger and full of gratitude.

Phil talked in detail about his son’s last moments, and how those memories triggered his tears. They were a reminder of why he was with John now. They were also a reminder of the goal of these trials: to find solace and fight in the face of death.

In the last hour of John’s final session, he was overcome with anxiety. His body began to shake as MDMA’s final messages were calling him to create an entirely new life. Phil and Julane, sensing his fear and angst, placed their hands on him in the same way that they did in the very beginning of his first session. John felt their gentle touch as he breathed heavily, and their watchful presence calmed him. 

He began to get visits from different entities. He didn’t see them, but sometimes he would hear them.  John compares this feeling to sitting up when you’re half-asleep. You wonder if someone is in the room or if the voices you just heard were even real. Then you realize that it was all just a dream. The entities came to him as if they were an extended version of this feeling - an amplified thought. Ultimately, it was his own heart and brain talking to each other. It was time for a serious meeting.

You’re working in the wrong business, they told him.

He had spent the past eight years building up his yacht-brokering company. At times, during the peak of his illness, it was all that kept him going. But if he continued, it would end up killing him - if it hadn’t already started doing so.

He would spend six months working on a deal, just for it to end when his clients’ egos would get in the way. Their worlds revolved around petty things, and his did, too. It didn’t make sense for life to be like this, especially when he didn’t even know how much life he had left.

You’re living in the wrong place.

Sausalito is a quiet, seaside town which was ideal for John’s business. For John himself, though, it wasn’t where he needed to be. The mornings were always cold and crisp, which only hardened his body more. It was an isolated town, full of wealthy, older folks. He needed to be in the sunshine, and he needed to be around people and places that were full of vitality. 

You need to work on your relationships.

During his sessions, John had seen memories from his earliest years. He was able to analyze nearly every part of his life, including a cold relationship with his parents and a toxic relationship with an ex-girlfriend. He didn’t know how, but he would have to find a way to deal with them. 

Lastly, they told him, You need to help people. 

Today, nearly two years after completing the trial, John lives in Venice Beach, where the weather is warm and the people are wild. He shut down his yacht-brokering business, and his body is now 90% healed. Though the objective of the therapy was not to cure illnesses, the healing powers that Alexander Shulgin raved about when he first tried MDMA have proven to unite John’s mind and body.

His life wasn’t miraculously easy after the therapy, but he gained tremendous insights and tools to work his way through the hard parts. Simply having the mental capacity to get out of bed and aim for something healed John in several ways. “I learned to make friends with my body and to remember that it had been good to me for so many years before I was diagnosed,” he says.  He began to change his unhealthy sleeping habits, he strictly managed his diet, and he began to exercise daily like he once did. He started practicing yoga again, which helped to improve the elasticity of his skin, and he’s currently trained to teach aerial yoga to older clients. Eight months after he huffed and puffed down the trail after his second MDMA session, he also ran a half-marathon. 

John says the integration process is like being in a helicopter, overlooking the world underneath you from a bird’s eye view. Everything is beautiful, and the feeling of ecstasy is truly living up to its name. Suddenly, you’re pushed out of the plane. When you finally hit the ground, you land on a skateboard and you’re flying down a steep hill. Maybe you’ve never even ridden a skateboard before, but you’re forced to find a way to make it down the hill alive. 

As with other psychedelics, the few days after an MDMA dose often come with a dark hangover. Because the brain has been so energized and overfilled with serotonin, the come-down can be bleak. For John, these days were difficult because he had to find ways to integrate the otherworldly awareness into his daily life. However, the darkest days were also the most promising when it came to understanding his experience. “A lot of people don’t like this part of the therapy, but that’s when you really need to look inside,” he says. “You write your thoughts down, take vitamins, drink a lot of water, and try to help your brain rebuild itself.”

During his sessions, John was aware that the feelings of bliss wouldn’t last forever, but the fact that he was able to feel emotions on such a deep level made him hopeful. If it was possible to feel that good on the drug, maybe he could feel the same without it. He’s gotten pretty close, but he finds euphoria in a much simpler form now. He likes to call them snapshots - mental pictures in which he takes the time to grab a moment and absorb it into his brain. It can take form in many ways, like running on his favorite trail, or getting lunch with a good friend and sitting next to a window, smelling your food coming to you. “It’s a cliche. People always say, Oh, live in the moment! It’s really easy to say, but you have to deliberately do it. It’s just a matter of grabbing sincere appreciation of something, even if it means you have to cry your eyes out sometimes.”

John’s integration process is still a work in progress, but he’s using his journey to help others who have come out of the trials or their own psychedelic experiences. After he shut down his yacht-brokering business, he started working on a company of a much different nature. Map to Remission, a play on both medical remission and life repurposing, aims to provide a community and resources to others who have been knocked down by a life-threatening illness. John holds weekly 3-Peer sessions in which he and two or three others Skype call to talk about their integration process. The point of the sessions is not to coach or counsel each other, simply because none of them are therapists or psychiatrists. Instead, they share their own experiences and provide unwavering support.

While he’s getting his company up and running, he’s also involved in other integration circles in Los Angeles. John and his peers work to protect people from using MDMA unsafely or as an escape route. It’s not meant to be used as a way to escape our real worlds, but rather as a way to better understand them. Education is proving to be one of the most crucial steps of the legalization of MDMA-assisted therapy, and John is doing his part to share his journey. The psychedelic community continues to grow rapidly, and John’s body and mind continue to heal in return. 

“It turns out that community is some of the best medicine you could ever have,” he says.

[foonyroo]

tonight, i wrote a letter

the following is to an athletic clinic run by clifton bradeley, uk 1500 running record-holder, 1985-present. learn more about his story here.

Hello,

Around 3 years ago, I attended a Nike shoe launch (Pegasus 31) event that included Clifton giving a Sub-4 demonstration at Lee Valley Athletics Centre.

I was a part of a rotating group that included the British athlete Lynsey Sharp. Clifton intelligently, quickly and calmly got to the bottom of a problem that Lynsey had been suffering in recurrence to the detriment of her career despite the obvious care of UK Athletics specialists.

I myself am no elite athlete. In fact, I suffered with depression for over 10 years from the age of 13. But running, keeping active and self-care helped to save my life. In athletics, I found a place that I could grow into my true self, find peace, adventure, friends; contentment. My journey saw me enter my first 5k as a terrified pretender to mustering up the courage to try a half marathon and then - by goodness - a marathon itself. When you finish your first half, you cannot fathom how anyone can go further - and yet, they do.

My journey of self-discovery, belief and health took me to many places, but perhaps the most profound so far was the decision just over 2 years ago aged 27 to emigrate to Vancouver, Canada. I happened to be there on a chance vacation, and fell in love with the outdoor culture, all at home with the joining of mountain and ocean and the general active nature of the people there. My life has since been an ode to this belief, eschewing riches and career paths for the pursuit of activeness and the resulting contentment, human connection and memories that these hold the power to generate.

Yet one thing has travelled with me that I wish had not. At the current time of writing, I have ran 3 marathons, the first being Edinburgh Scotland in 2014. This went well, and produced no problems. Then, just over a year later, I decided to enter the Istanbul marathon. A little while after beginning training, I noticed a problem that I had never come across before. By this point I had been running for several years, and so had a fair experience with running injuries, and, moreover, what caused them.

The symptoms were as such: my right leg, at no set time into a run, would begin to feel numb first at the knee, slowly expanding outwards in both directions if I kept running. The only surefire way to stop it was to stop moving. On each run, this might fully solve the problem, or might see it return in 5 minutes, or 30. Never the left leg, and with a distinct feeling of blood pooling at the base of the right quadricep.

This problem has followed me for the subsequent years. It appears to be fully arbitrary - not in tune with training level, running base, or speed. Some things have "randomly" removed the problem - for instance, I remember a half where I rotated my trunk to the left and bent forwards to get a gel from my pocket - the numbness vanished. But, having tried to do the same on runs since, the numbness has stayed. I've also tried flexing my calf, adjusting foot strike, extending the groin mid-stride and pushing the pelvis forward. Nothing is ever consistent.

I visited specialists in the form of Perfect Balance Clinic London - podiatrists, osteopaths, running / gait coaches, none of whom were able to suggest any possible comprehension of this. I definitely have worked with them to improve my gait, but consider this work to be disconnected with the timeline of when this first occurred. I was also very lucky as these guys were a part of the place I worked, so they had a vested interest in helping me.

I currently have a desk job, but when this first happened, was on my feet most of the day. I am a regular cyclist, and have had both a strong and weak anterior / posterior stretch routine during the time this issue has been a thing. At time of writing, I had a run last night where I had to stop every 1km in a 10km run after 5km.

I am wanting to run further and enter long-distance challenges or simply run for enjoyment and health, and while this issue does not prevent me from doing so, I am forced to start and stop in a way that actively impacts on the experience. If I continue running when the symptoms occur, eventually my leg cannot stabilise me and I will lurch over or simply lose the ability to stand on it.

I am writing for a simply reason. I will be visiting the UK in February 2019 (6-14th) for a family visit. My grandad is in ailing health and as one of the best humans I've ever met on this planet, I simply cannot not see him or be separated by the oceans, despite my limited financial resources and need to be where my happiness and mental health is kept strong. So, I've booked flights for the above dates and will be packing a lot into a very short, and jetlagged time. C'est la vie: we do things for the people we love, right?

This message is simple and for a single reason. Clifton inspired me. I saw in his work a rare ability to comprehend the very complex interconnection of athletic/body/human dynamic movement. He also inspired Lynsey. She shed a tear when he offered her an answer that made sense to her - one that she knew without being able to explain - because it ticked all the boxes of her experience before she fully described it to him. Clifton watched her movement with his eyes, told of his belief in old-fashioned measurements holding as much value as computer algorithms, and demonstrated everything that he saw as an outcome. Long story short, he saw something nobody else did. Lynsey, finally, had an answer.

Like I said, I'm not a superstar. I'm just a guy who found a new life in running and activeness, and is now experiencing something that is getting in the way of that, and nobody seems to be able to explain.

I would love to come to the clinic and have this looked into, as honestly, it's really the only thing holding me back from fully blossoming into my natural self - someone who sees things like the Tahoe 200 and goes "holy shit! i want to see if I can do that!"; "i wonder where that path would lead me?" etc etc.

Is there a time I can visit during that aforementioned week where the goal is to work out what on earth is going on with my body? I am willing to do all the prep work, homework, or whatever it takes to make the visit count. My grandad would definitely appreciate the limited time not just being spent on him and our family, but also being true to myself and following what helps to keep beating the demons by pursuing my passions and looking after myself. Please let me know if a fleeting visit that this would likely be could even possibly result in an answer that would unlock so, so much.

I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,

Oliver

[applesayra]

2021 Reflections

I'm reading a rom com about graduate school and it's making me wish I romanticized grad school more. I probably will in the future because I am a pisces and I LOVE putting things that hurt me on a pedestal, but I remembered that I have been documenting everything here and in a journal (except my Tumblr is more accessible because I am always on my damned computer). So here's a list of shit that happened this year.

-I ran a fuckin marathon!

-I squatted 360 pounds like a few months before that marathon and maintained my strength during running training. I can say that I am technically an elite level powerlifter.

-I gained confidence in graduate school. It sucked at times but I feel like I am FINALLY coming into my own.

-We got a puppy! Neeko saved mine and my fiancé's life.

-I got me a fiancé! It is an honor to be loved and supported by such a gentle soul who just gets me. I am still fluttery about this one and will probably write about him and the engagement eventually, I have just done an excellent job keeping this relationship more private.

-I grew in therapy. I identified my commitment issues, accepted that closure is never a thing, and because of it my relationship thrived and I stopped being scared of being happy.

-I am able to accept my family dynamics without killing myself to fix them or my family members. We cannot force people to heal.

-I genuinely feel like I am actively healing every day. I am less petty, I am less self involved, and I am more in tune with my values.

-I did not make it my goal to lose weight and I am neutral on the scale. In powerlifting, I need to have an idea of what weight I am, but until this year, my goal has always been to shrink. I track calories and while I am sometimes upset about going over, it does not affect me nearly as much.

-My fiancé and I admitted that we likely will not have children to both of our parents. I love kids, but they do not fit into our 10 year plan. I know it's not an end all be all, but for now I am mourning the fact that I probably will not carry a child (but know that might change). I would love to be a mom and I would love to see Nando be an excellent father, but our vision for our future is amazing and while it's possible to have kids in it, they are not ideal and we found there are other ways we can nurture. It just feels good to say it out loud and not stress about reaching career milestones by a certain age.

-My man and I hit our harmony. We see each other and have healed together and separately. We picked out an engagement ring and have chosen to spend forever together. Four years of healing traumas, tearing down pedestals, and learning each other's traumas and how to heal them and we did it! He knows every horrible thought inside and out and I know his, and I still love him, but not in the way I imagined when I was younger. This is better.

-I think this is who I am. I think I finally know that I will never be a person who "knows who they are" but I am someone who is constantly accepting of my different selves. One day I am a gentle, tender, romantic who can't wait to come home to her little family. Another day, I am a fiery, bad ass scientist who won't let anyone get in her way. Some days? I am a lazy, crying, lump of irritability who let her mental health get to her. In every season, I know the feeling is temporary. I used to be afraid of knowing my happiness is fleeting but I am finally to a point where I accept that my happiness is fleeting while understanding that despair and sadness are ALSO fleeting. What a year.

[mindfullyminimalist]

on 2019, shopping bans and the pursuit of simpler living.

I just finished Cait Flander’s “Year of Less” and have a number of other books on ✨minimalism✨ and finding peace and identity through owning less, more ethical practices and obviously not spending my life savings on material goods. So what better place to spitball but here, right?

I am (and there’s not really a “good” way to say this) desperately unhappy with my life as it currently stands. I’m fat. I’m constantly overtired and stressed. I flunked out of a paper so I’m spending an extra semester to graduate. I constantly worry all my friends actually hate me and 98% of my life is defined by how anxious I am and what people think about me. It’s not a cool way to live.

One of the chief ways I make myself happy is through good old retail therapy- one of those things that actually nobody needs to do, but that little rush when you click “buy” gets every single synapse in your brain flashing like a string of Christmas lights. It feels good in the short term, kind of shitty in the long term. This lifestyle has me $2000 in overdraft (compared to my 50k student loan) and drowning in shit I don’t need or want. Financially I would like to have that money paid off by the end of my last semester in June next year (whereupon I have to decide to either be a real adult and get a job or stay for postgrad studies) and have my student loan paid off aggressively before I’m thirty. In NZ we have a huge housing crisis, so I’ve fully accepted that either I’m not staying here, or I’m renting until I die. Either way, I’d like to have at least the majority of that debt settled before that decision, in particular, is made.

I return from Europe (I know I just spent ages talking about debt, so this is stupid, right?) in Jan 2019. That gives me 6 months to pay off $334 dollars each month. That’s honestly not that much and is entirely doable- I would say I spend more on junk food in a month, and I definitely do on impulse purchases. The loan debt is significantly more dramatic and probably will take the next ten years- this is a bridge to be crossed when my OD is paid off and the bank isn’t pounding at my door for it.

My major financial goal from October 2018-October 2019 is to stop buying things. Flat out, Cait Flanders style. My goals are obviously to pay off the OD I mentioned above, raise 1/2 of the money for my grand adventure (see below) and learn to focus on what I have, rather than the material. $200 shoes aren’t going to fill the void, no matter how much I hope they will- it’s the same as food. So my goal is to adopt a simple/intentional living, less is more approach and make more considered life choices. This includes no more quickie purchases because it’s a sale, no more fast fashion, no more fast food and plastic, no more ethically corrupt food brands (e.g. Nestle) and no more buying for Fantasy Rosie, who is willowy and beautiful and very smart and successful. I want to adopt the repair, repurpose, reuse values my grandparents had, as well as the reduce and recycle values of my own generation.

Here is what I am NOT allowed to buy:

Skincare that isn’t replacements.

Makeup that isn’t brow gel or mascara (aka what I need and use.)

Books, notebooks, pens and pencils.

Clothing + Accessories.

Electronics (i.e. new phone)

Home decor/posters/pillows/so forth.

Water bottles.

New glasses.

Tea!

Hair products (I have SO MANY. I do not use them all. This is an opportunity to finally finish the bottle of Ouai hair oil that’s been on my dresser since high school.)

Food containers, bowls etc.

Underwear.

Starbucks and fast food over $10.

Things from Kmart and the Warehouse.

Ideally, I would like to also practise a one item in, one item out mentality. If I have to have a new shirt or a new something, another item from that category needs to be donated or passed on.

Obviously, I’m allowed to buy food, textbooks, replacements, fast food under $10, movie tickets/experiences, gifts etc. Haircuts, getting my eyebrows done (I’m ginger, so this is an actual necessity) are also “allowed,” albeit sparingly- one haircut a year (because they’re like $80 per cut) and my eyebrows every six weeks (aka 9 times during the shopping ban at a total cost of $153.)

Allowed Purchases (aka: things I genuinely need.)

New black ankle boots (buy when I’m in Germany, a budget of 100 euros.) My old ones are completely worn out but can still be donated :)

Graduation dress to be worn at both my undergrad graduation and my postgrad graduation (fingers and toes crossed.) Budget of $150 NZD.

x2 pairs of exercise leggings- mine are ratty and beginning to wear out. Budget of $50 NZD per pair.

Summer shoes.

Black jeans for work (Levi’s Mile Highs, not ethical but they’re the only brand that covers my ankles.) Budget of $150 NZD.

Stainless steel lunch box. Budget of $50, which is the average cost for one of these here.

New sweatshirt (all my others are ratty and gross and hopefully will not survive 2019.) Budget of $50.

Sunscreen (i.e. Go-To Skincare’s Zincredible.) $60.

2019 Ban.do Planner. $50.

Meaningful and longlasting souveniers whilst I’m in Europe (i.e. not a ton of random t-shirts I never wear for the sake of having them.) This is actually a really hard one but I’m going to aim to spend under $150 NZD aka 80 euro on things whilst I’m over there.

Obviously, these are all hopefully ethical products from local brands and are well thought out purchases that match the rest of my stuff, fit and are affordable.

With regards to fitness, here is the plan: in the next two years, I am going to walk the Camino Portuguese from Fatima to Muxia, and then I am going to walk the Kumano Kodo and climb Mount Fuji. To do both of those things, I need to be in some sense of actual physical fitness- I’m kind of there now but not quite. I know that changing my body won’t make me happy, but I think that teamed with therapy it will allow me to develop some confidence in who I am and what I do. The following are my fitness goals (with general timeframes.)

Start going to Park Runs (soon- I have my barcodes all ready and just need a Saturday when I’m not working! I’m actually free next Saturday so I might bash out C25k Week 4 day 3 and then walk the rest of the 5k. The time won’t be pretty, but it’s much more a confidence thing.)

Start Swing Dance (early 2019)

Yoga and Spin x3 a week (free gym= student perk!)

Forest Run 5k (April 2019)

Christchurch Marathon 10k (June 2019)

Cigna Round the Bays 10k OR 21k (January 2020) — I tried to run the 6.5 k two years ago and couldn’t do it.

50 Park Runs (2020)

Camino Portuguese (2020–2021)

Kumano Kodo (2020–2021)

Mount Fuji (2020–2021, hopefully in the same trip as the Kumano Kodo)

And from then on who knows? The Camino and Kumano (and to a lesser extent Fuji) are very spiritual kind of trips for me. Like an attempt to find myself but also find out wtf is going on with my life and sort myself out. Through strenuous exercise that mostly elderly people do. Very me.

[thegaitguys]

Hey, Bourdain, I would have loved that roll.

“I will never be a young man or younger than I am today. I will never be faster or more flexible. I will never win a competition against a 22-year old wrestler in my weight class. I will never be a black belt. None of these things will happen but none of that matters anymore.”

– Anthony Bourdain/Parts Unknown Season 6. Episode 4

I mentioned sparring (rolling) with Chef Anthony Bourdain about 2 years ago on my other blog, TheGaitGuys.com.  It never happened, and now, it never will.  At the time, Bourdain and I were both blue belts in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Bourdain did not know me, nor I him, but we had some things in our lives rooted in common ground. His death to me was a bold punch to the gut, one that doubles you over and makes you stumble backward.  I think his choice of an early life departure in 2018 hit some of us hard because we felt some inner connection, perhaps jealous aspiration, to him and the life he appeared to have commandingly by the tail.  Bourdain and I had some commonalities, the love of good food, a late life start into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, writing, art, and creative outlets.  His broad palate of creative works was an inspiration to me. I also enjoyed what he said, but more so how he said it; his descriptive and colorful command of the English language spoke to me. Bourdain's death was a tragedy to us all, the world has lost another creative talented soul.

I recently was presented with my purple belt in Brazilian JiuJitsu from one of the art's legends, my mentor, my brother, 4x World Champion, Professor Carlos Lemos, Jr.  Some consider the purple belt as a transition in the art where the basics start to congeal into something more clear and meaningful. (I refer the reader here to my previous post on "the language" of jiu jitsu LINK). It defines the completion of a long base of fundamental work, and of stronger resistance, heavier responsibilities and bolder headwinds to come. 

It took me 5 years to get my purple belt in jiu jitsu. This is far longer than it will take many to get to this stage, many will be into their brown belt by this point, yet still far from the coveted black.  In Brazilian jiu jitsu, purple does not even mark the half way point to the multi-tiered black belt. Thus, my mere five years still represents a kind of adolescence in the journey.   Many will not get to this purple stage, they will quit before they reach this pivotal point in this most difficult art.  Trust me, I almost gave up as well, I too found all kinds of excuses to abort, but for me the trick was to make myself go to the academy on the days I truly did not want to, when I was finding something else that I could, should or wanted to otherwise do. When we are uncommitted, it is easy to find excuses not to follow through. We might use our marriage, our work, our kids, money, time, injury, these are all excuses that will be victorious if one lets them grow into such a thing.  If one is weak enough, an individual can let one of many forms of resistance grow into a plausible victorious excuse, one that trumps commitment and personal growth. I know this problem all to well, it is part of my past and my every day.  Wishing and hoping are like dreams, they are not real, it is only execution that makes anything real. How badly do we want it, that is the greater question.

The color purple, the color of resistance?

I am slow at learning what many already know, that the stuff in life that seems to matter is the stuff that is difficult. It is the stuff that we have to work hard at. It is not the stuff that comes easy, it is not the gifts and not the handouts. It is often the stuff that makes us weak and tremble. It is the stuff that actually ask something more of us, it is sort of a sacrifice to step into an unknown void.

I recently had a patient come in who is a recovering heroin addict. As I was working on his shoulder and he rambled into a dialogue about feeling lost in life. I have known this young man since he was a little boy.. He said he was looking for some relief and an easier time in life. I asked him why he was looking for that and he said he was tired. I asked him to at least consider if perhaps he needed something else that was difficult and hard to embrace, something else that would ask him to make a different kind of sacrifice in life, a different set of choices. He looked blankly at me.  I expanded my words, sharing with him what a jiu jitsu lifestyle looked like; mental and physical struggles, fitness, rewards, commitment, loyalty, purpose, brotherhood, family, leadership, general well-being. He said it sounded like just what he needed. It is never hard to give out the phone number for that recipe.

I'm not sure I fully deserved this purple strip of heavy cotton around my waist. I am not where I should be in my opinion, but I am where I am. In any chapter of life, it is about accepting where we are. To my mentors perspective and wisdom, I think maybe, just maybe, this was a message to step forward, to step up, and accept the responsibility of where I should be and force me into the responsibilities I have been shirking. And if that's the case, the point was made, loud and clear; step into the resistance, accept active responsibility. Take action, instead of making excuses. These are easily comments made on many of our lives.  Easy doesn't pay the bills. Easy doesn't generate growth, or insight. Easy doesn't add to a quality of life and a sense of achievement. The dis-ease of "easy" has led most into regret upon their last hours of a life.

I will never be a young man or younger than I am today. I will never be faster or more flexible. I will never win a competition against a 22-year old wrestler in my weight class. I will never be a black belt. None of these things will happen but none of that matters anymore.” –Bourdain

Bourdain was right on some things, many things in fact, this could be noted if you followed his work over the last decade. He is right in that I will never be a younger man than I am today, but with constant pressure against resistance at the age of 51 I do feel better than I did a decade ago. This year I will work to be faster, stronger, and more flexible than I was last year. The alternative path will not get me to a better place, so I will meet those resistances head on. As Bourdain eluded to, I too may not win a battle with a 22 year old, but knowing what I know now, it just might now be fun to try. As for Bourdain's feelings on a black belt, I do not care much either. I have more deeply discovered that meeting the path of resistance head on in the moment, and facing the responsibilities and expectations that confront me as I press through the dominance hierarchy (thanks Jordan Peterson) is the true journey.

I was getting lazy and complacent as a blue belt in arguably the toughest martial art that exists. Having purple firmly tied around my abdomen, and all of the responsibilities that accompany it, was a lesson I needed to feel deep in my being. I believe that if one is not struggling and moving forward into more difficult winds, they are being held back, in fact losing ground, being further pushed back by one's own laziness in accepting that place of mere perceived comfort. Nothing good comes from complacency, even though we feel stable and safe, that is the deception of the moment, we are in fact becoming more fragile.  Lesson learned. I was the clay pot, never to meet the heat of the furnace.

" A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot . . .

 it has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain."  - Mildred WitteStouven

I am still on the adolescent scale on this martial art's journey of lessons. These are just a few things I have gleaned to this point that might help those a few steps behind me, maybe even beside me:

Purple. It might just be the true color of resistance in this art form.

If you choose to give up on jiu jitsu, make it a real good reason, because it just might turn into later regrets. I quit for 2 months early on, and I am ashamed of that. If you say it is because of your work, your marriage, your school, your whatever, have a good talk with yourself.  Make time for something this important. This is not supposed to be fun or easy all the time, if it is not hard at times, you are doing it wrong and you are not being forced to grow.

If you disappear after a year, you missed the message. This is a journey, a marathon, a lifestyle, a grand path inward, and outward. If the journey showed you the destination too soon, the pot of gold, the long path to enlightenment would be missed.

If you are not getting what you want, don't leave or give up. Those things might not be what you need. Be patient with the lessons of jiu jitsu, often you will be surprised that what you needed was far different than what you thought.  This goes for our training, and our lives.  Let the art deliver its message and lessons to you. Most things in life do not turn out how we hope or plan, but often the best things in life are the surprises.

If your focus is the color or your belt or the number of stripes on it, you are missing the point. This is an investment, a lifetime journey and insurance policy on our soul. Forget about the color of the cloth around your waist, or around another's waist for that matter.

Persistence always wins. Even if you lose, you win. I've been here 5 years now. I'm still here. I have seen more people leave, disappear, or give up, than have persisted. Pace yourself and stay the course, sprinters do not get very far. Be the tortoise, not the hare.

Look beside you. One of the people on either side of you won't be here in 6-12 mo. The problem is, we forget that the person beside us is saying the exact same thing about us. Don't give them the satisfaction of not being present on the mats in a year, persist, prevail. Stay the course.

Stop trying to win each time you spar. There's very little value and feedback in winning. The lessons are in the losses, the meaning is found between the arm bars and chokes. The lessons are in the smallest of things, and often in the sharing afterwards. Stop trying to win. Be a step ahead of the guy trying to win, be the observer, be this listener, you will learn more.

It is all relative, see your journey as where YOU are at this moment, not where others are. The beauty of this art and it's journey is that you cannot and should not compare yourself to others. Let others help to be a measuring stick for your own progress, but more importantly, mostly compare yourself to your yesterday's self. What do I mean by this? Let me help.  I am a mere footstep into a Purple belt.  I cannot compare myself to other purple belts that have been here a year, let alone one that is 20 years my junior. Nor should I compare myself to a youthful 25 year old blue belt who is just 3 years out of a college wrestling program. I cannot compare myself to a 200 pound white belt. I cannot compare myself to a 60 year old black belt.  I am my own unique package, a 51 year old, 155 pound doctor who trains a few times a week who's hands are raw and pummeled by most Tuesdays. I cannot compare myself to anyone else other than the person I was yesterday, nor should you. Trust me on this, I speak from experience.

Most things in life that are worth anything do not come quickly or easily. This is about choices, habits, routine, commitment, struggle, fear, pain, and sacrifice. This is about meeting resistance every day.

Do not be afraid to fight for worthy things in life. (This is a good time to remind the reader of the all too important, yet mostly sarcasm piece, here on this blog which I wrote in 2016. My first post, The death of the schoolyard fight: The great unravelling of our modern day social fabric.)

Close your mouth. Open your ears. Show up. Practice. Be patient. Share the story of your journey, it might save someone's life.

In life, if one steps back far enough, and often enough, enough to see the forest instead of just the trees, the messages and lessons become more clear. "Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things."-Miyamoto Musashi

Dear Chef Bourdain, I would have loved that roll, but maybe in another lifetime it now seems. However, I am going to imagine that a few threads within the tapestry of this purple belt are yours brother, just as there are threads within it of my fellow academy brothers and sisters. Through them I have reached this stage of the journey.  Bourdain, rest peacefully until we meet old man. Save a little sweat for me, and a heavenly street side "meat in tube form" with all the fixin's, for I am a fan as well.

Sometimes we need a "band of brothers" to shine a light of truth on our ways, leading us back to the  honest path. Thank you Professor Carlos Lemos, my fellow teachers, and all those who paved my path to this point. The struggles, pain, sweat and defeats were worth it, and continue to be.  Being completely honest with myself, I can see the woes of my ways in finding peace in comfort and complacency. I feel that I did not honorably serve the blue belt previously wrapped around my waist to the level I should have. That weighs heavily on me. And because of that, this purple wrap now too weighs heavily upon my hips, and with it, a bigger target on my back. Lesson again learned. It is time to make things right.

-Shawn, purple belt, Brazilian JiuJitsu, ("the gentle art"),

Gracie Barra Downers Grove,

Professor Carlos Lemos, Jr. 4x World, Brazilian, European, American & Pan-Am Champion

[mikeconphoto]

"Fit Features" - By MikeCon Photography

The time has come for me to take it upon myself to feature all of my clients.  Most times they've been accepted by magazines for stories and features, however the magazines have put them on the back burner and archived their stories and images.  As much as I appreciate the magazines for accepting the images, I still can't sit around waiting for over a year, or longer for them to feature my people.  One of them even went into the written clause on the release form of, "We never guaranteed a cover and story.", after being told that it was accepted and to be used that year (2016), frustrated me to see those words come out.  

Yes, as much as I preach to my clients and potential clients, "There is no guarantee to be published in ANY magazines, and to those who promise you that either own the magazine, or they are going to get you recognized (not really published) in an online magazine that NOBODY has really heard of, or cares about.  To some this may come off as arrogant, or egotistical, however it's not, and it comes from a place of love for my people and for them getting their hopes up and having them shot down with lip service.  That's not how I operate, and now....I'm going to give them a spotlight.  It's a tough pill to swallow, however there's no difference between here and an online magazine, (seriously)...the biggest difference is that I run this show and can do it my way...so...now I'm going to give my first feature to one of my favorite Fit Mom's... Mandy Stevenson.

Mandy and I did our photo shoot in June of 2017.  She's one of the nicest people that I've EVER met and I consider her a very good friend.  Here's her story below:

Name: Mandy Stevenson

City: Sedalia

State/province: Colorado

Main occupation (ONE only please): Labor & Delivery Registered Nurse (& Mom)

Height: 5’ 8”

Birthday and sign: May 5, Taurus

Q:  Describe your life before you started training.

A:  I have always been an athlete.  I was a competitive swimmer and dancer growing up, I was a cheerleader in high school, and continued competitively swimming into my adult life until a shoulder injury.  Then I took up running, having run 4 marathons, dozens of half marathons and 10K’s.  I decided I wanted to be a bikini athlete, found a great coach and changed my routine to lifting weights more than running to be stage ready.  Now I have a balance of both weights and cardio in my life.

Q:  How different do you feel now compared to then?

A:  Now that I have balanced my workout regimen to include weight training, cardio, and a clean diet, I feel like a million bucks.  I have a ton of energy to keep up with my kids, and I feel like I can tackle nearly any challenge without having to spend months to prepare.

Q:  Was there is pivotal moment that motivated you to start training?  If so, what was it?

A:  I have a friend who had asked me to train with her for a bikini competition, but I soon found out I was pregnant with my third child, so I had to hold off and cheer for her from the sidelines.  After I had my baby, I really wanted to follow her footsteps and train for a competition.  The bonus was I had motivation to lose the final baby weight I had gained.

Q:  Do you remember your first training session?  How different is your training today?

A:  My first training session was intimidating.  I didn’t want to be “that girl” who was not in prime shape, but I knew I had a ways to go to be stage ready.  I pushed myself so hard on my first legs training day, it was hard to walk the rest of the week!  I still train by separating my muscle groups into different days, and I tailor my cardio sessions to fit in with my day rather than forming my day around my cardio sessions.  I have a lot of flexibility in my workouts now, and I really try to listen to my body.  I lost 20 pounds, 23.25 inches all around, and 15% body fat. Those results, and bringing home a trophy, was all it took for me to know that I had changed my life forever.

Q:  What has been the most rewarding aspect of training for you?  Why?

A:  The most rewarding aspect of training has been seeing how far I can push myself to reach a goal or change my body. I love being strong, and I love a challenge.  It’s great to feel good about the skin you’re in.

Q:  What has continued to motivate you throughout your training?  Why?

A:  The energy I have from staying active is a huge motivation to keep going.  I have 3 very busy and active kids, so being able to keep up with them is priceless.  Feeling good and staying healthy-you just can’t put a price on that.  I want this body to keep going for a very long time.

Q:  What are your qualifications - why did you set out to achieve these?

A:  I am not a fitness pro, motivational speaker, or national qualifier.  I am an athlete, a wife, a mom, and a nurse.  My fitness journey has helped me be better at all these things by making me both mentally and physically stronger than I was even 5 years ago.

  Q:  What have you had to overcome to get to where you are today? Did that change you in any way?  If so, describe how.

A:  I have made a lot of sacrifices, and I have had to learn several lessons more than just once.  Eating clean when you are constantly on the go can be a challenge.  I learned the value of food prep and planning ahead. I know that if I am going to be eating out, I plan my day around that so I don’t go totally overboard and jeopardize my goals.  I have also learned the incredibly valuable lesson of giving yourself grace. You can’t be perfect 100% of the time, and you need to be okay with that.  Allowing myself grace has helped me find balance with my training and diet that fits my lifestyle.  

Q:  What is the number one lesson you have learned about health and fitness through your training? 

A:  It’s okay to not be perfect in your diet and training all the time, but this is the only body you’re ever going to have and you better take care of it! Going to the gym is not the hard part of training, it’s staying consistent in your diet.

Q:  What do you wish you had known when you were 16?

A:  I wish I would have learned better eating habits when I was younger.  I was certain my metabolism was always going to be amazing. I’d go back to my younger self now force it into her head that balanced, clean eating is a lifelong skill-best learned at a young age.

Q:  Describe how training makes you feel.

A:  Without question, I am an endorphin junkie.  Always have been. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the way working out makes me feel.  I have never walked away from a workout thinking “that was a waste of my time.”

Q:  Do you have a quote that you live by?  If so, why this one?

A:  There are 3 that I say to myself more than once a day... 1). “Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says, I’m Possible.” 2). “Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.”  3). “It’s okay to not be okay...just don’t stay there.” These all have special deep rooted meanings to me...ultimately, they all challenge me to be a better person.

Q:  What was your reason for taking health and fitness to the level you have?  Why is it so important to you?

A:  I have a handsome husband and a beautiful family.  I want to be the best version of me that I can be for them.  I want to be healthy, live a long and happy life, and I want to feel incredible about the skin I am in.  A fit lifestyle does that for me, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Q:  What advice would you give to women wanting to get into the best shape of their life?

A:  You can do it, and you won’t regret it!  It IS possible to have a family, have a career, to be a busy person, and still fit this into your life.  Make time for yourself and make yourself a priority...You are worth it!!

Q:  What is the most important thing women need to remember when training?  Why?

A:  It takes time to see change. Stay consistent.  It takes 4 weeks for you to see change in yourself, it takes 8 weeks for friends and family to see the change, and it takes 12 weeks for everyone else to see the change.

Q:  We all have days where motivation is low – how do you overcome these? Have you always been able to do this?

A:  On low motivation days the hardest part is usually getting to the gym.  Get dressed, get yourself out the door, and have a plan.  Once you’re there, it’s easy to put in your headphones and get to work.  Having a preset plan for your workout and diet helps you get through the tough days.  Flavored water also helps me get through hard days when drinking enough can be a challenge.

Q:  Do you enjoy training alone or with a partner?  Why?

A:  I much prefer to train by myself.  My family teases me that I go to the gym to be social, but the truth is, if I train alone I stay focused and get my workout done better and quicker than when I am with a partner.

Q:  What would you like to see change in the health and fitness industry?

A:  The ill-perceived notion that it is too hard to get started in your fitness journey, or that it is too late to get started.  There is a lot of information out there on how to workout to be healthy, and it doesn’t have to come with the price tag of a trainer.  Educate yourself, find an activity you like, drink more water, and eat clean 80% of the time.  Your future self will thank you for starting now.  It doesn’t have to be hard or scary-one step at a time.  Find the resources and use them.

Q:  What would a perfect Sunday involve for you?

A:  My perfect Sunday would be going to church in the morning with my family, family lunch date after church, then home to meal prep and spend time together before the new week starts.  Currently it is close to that, with the exception that I work Sunday nights.

Q:  Contest history - do you have a highlight?  Why?

A:  I have competed in 2 bikini shows.  My highlight was the first show, first of all, because it was my first show, and there is something very special about that, and then second, I brought home a trophy for 5th place-a wonderful validation for the hard-work I put in to my prep.

Q:  What's your diet?

A:  Breakfast-Greek yogurt, raspberries and blueberries, coffee and protein powder. Morning snack-handful of almonds (approx 30 grams). Lunch-baby spinach with 1 hard boiled egg and 2 hard boiled egg whites, cherry tomatoes and 1/3 oz salad dressing, protein shake. Afternoon snack-protein bar.  Dinner-chicken breast or white fish, steamed broccoli florets or asparagus, ½ cup brown rice.  After dinner snack-a piece of dark chocolate.

:  What's your outline for a typical day’s meals?

Workout week

Monday:  Legs day, 20 min cardio, abs

Tuesday: HIIT class

Wednesday: Shoulders & biceps, 20 min cardio

Thursday: HIIT class

Friday: Back & triceps, 20-30 min cardio

Saturday: 45 min cardio, abs

Sunday: Rest Day

 QUICK QUESTIONS:

Describe yourself in three words. Happy, Simple, Stubborn

What is your favorite food to indulge on?  Chocolate and peanut butter! (I LOVE sweets)  How often do you treat yourself?  At least a couple of times a week I will have a small spoonful of peanut butter with some semi-sweet chocolate chips. That seems to help balance my sweet-tooth without me over-indulging in treats.  I stick to the 80/20 clean eating rule pretty consistently.

What is your favorite non-cheat food? Zucchini noodles (Zoodles) and shrimp! I’ll add a touch of cocktail sauce to spice it up. Super easy to prep and tasty.

What is your favorite home-cooked meal?  Who cooks it?  I adore baking and breakfast foods...I have a recipe for an amazing, fairly healthy low carb German pancake that my family adores. I also make self-proclaimed amazing Swedish pancakes with coconut syrup.

What are the staples in your fridge?  Liquid egg whites, fresh berries, broccoli florets, Greek yogurt, snow peas, and baby carrots.

What is your favorite body part to train?  Why?  I love training my shoulders.  I had 2 shoulder surgeries in my early twenties and it took a very long time to rehab them.  I am so proud of how I have gotten my strength equal in them and how strong they look.  Fun fact-I have an cadaver achilles tendon in my shoulder as well as some pins and screws.

What is your least favorite body part to train?  Why?  Arms-both biceps and triceps.  I am strong in them, but it is so hard for me to develop good definition.  It’s frustrating to put in the work and not see the results the way that I do with other body parts.  I don’t let it stop me, but it is the hardest body part for me to train.

Do you prefer to train outdoors or indoors?  Why?  That all depends on what I am doing.  Nothing can beat a good trail run or the mini incline in Castle Rock, or the Manitou Springs stairs climb.  Weight training for me is best done inside, and I love the gym that I train at.

Describe the atmosphere in your favorite place to train – what can you see/feel/hear etc.?  I love my gym-the energy from the people training there, the cool air that is pumped through the vents, the music that they play (even though I always listen to my own playlist).  When you get into a routine, you start to see the same people there day to day and so it becomes a social thing as well.

Do you prefer cardio or weights? Why?  5 years ago, my answer would have been running-I was still running races and pushing a baby jogger. I loved that season of my life.  I got addicted to the thrill of weight training and being strong.  Now I prefer weights to cardio any day.

o you have a favorite book?  Why this one?  Usually whatever book I am currently reading is my favorite book.  If I had to pick an all-time favorite, it would either be Tess of the D’urbervilles by Thomas Hardy, or The Red Tent by Anita Diamant.

What is your favorite feature?  Why?  My favorite features are my shoulders and back.  Having been a swimmer growing up, I developed broad shoulders.  And at my height, it is a trait that I can carry well.  

Name five (5) things you can't live without.  1). My Bible, 2). My family, 3). My phone, 4). My mascara, 5). My sarcastic sense of humor!!  ;)

Name three (3) things most people don’t know about you.  1). I really like old muscle cars (I own a ’66 mustang), 2). I hate scary movies, 3). It’s very hard for me to sit still and do nothing.

What is on your bedside table?  A clock, a glass of water, Chapstick, hand cream, my glasses, a book and/or my kindle.

What is your best beauty secret?  Wash your face every night, and wear sunscreen.

Who inspires you?  Why?  My family (husband and kids) inspire me to be a better person every single day-from staying active with them, to be a better cook (not that I am bad), to be a more patient mom, a more loving wife, to fully love harder and deeper every day.

Who is your fitness and body role model?  Why?  For someone I know, a role model is Jessica Kidd.  She is amazing-strong, beautiful, and passionate.  It’s a joy to watch her take on challenges and crush them.  For someone that I don’t know-I follow Emily Skye on Instagram and Snapchat.  She’s a new mom and is crushing life both in the fitness realm as well as motherhood. I love listening to her because she is Australian-the accent is awesome.  She is all about living a healthy balance-good whole food choices and being active.  Not to mention how gorgeous she is.

What do you have in store for the future? What do you want to improve on?  For now I am trying to crush life in motherhood...My kids keep me so busy with their sports and activities-and I love every second of it.  I make sure I keep my gym routine because that is important to me.  I do have plans to compete again.  I am not sure if it will be bikini again or if I would like to compete as a figure athlete.  My goal is to hit the stage within the next 36-42 months.

Any final thoughts?  I'm currently preparing for:  Life.  Every day. Seriously...it’s not so much of prepping for something right now, it is maintaining where I am, or even working on some features to tighten up a little.  If I maintain now, when I do start prepping for my next show, I won’t feel like I am starting from ground zero.  Daily grind.  I love my daily grind!  These days my focus is for a different reason.  I am not currently training for competitions, but instead training to be the best and healthiest version of me.  Not just for me, but for my husband and for my kids, to be the best for them, also.  Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is crucial to me. It helps me feel strong and confident, gives me energy and keeps me focused, and allows me to be the role model that I want to be for my kids.  I have never felt better or stronger than I do now, and this is just the beginning

[jswdmb1]

Shine

“Let 'em get high Let 'em get stoned Everything will be alright if you let it go”

- Mondo Cozmo

John Boehner wants to you smoke dope.  Think about that.  This is a man who was a very conservative republican, and not just any republican. He was speaker of the house.  Not 30 years ago but less than 5.  The same guy who was “unalterably opposed” to marijuana legalization in 2015 wants you to be able to buy your weed with the same ease and legality as a six pack of beer.  Oh, and he’ll take your money while you are at it as a board member of Acreage Holdings, a company that cultivates, processes and dispenses cannabis in 11 states.  I mean, why give that money to the kid at the used record store when there are so many out-of-work former speakers of the house out on the market (don’t worry, Paul Ryan, there is plenty wacky tabacky for you to go out and sell too).  

Now, this may sound like I’m picking on old John, but I’m not.  There are way better things to pick on him about and besides, isn’t it a bit quaint to pick on a guy like that compared to what we have now?  In any event, I’m just using him as an example of how the tide of bong water has turned on this subject.  More and more folks realize that maybe there is a problem with criminalizing a relatively safe substance (compared to other drugs including alcohol) that may have some medicinal benefits.  Maybe things could be a bit better for someone with chronic pain, glaucoma, or just had a bad day if the stuff could be easily and safely purchased.   In very simple terms, it makes a lot of sense, but like everything, it is way more complicated than that.

The first problem is that marijuana is listed as a schedule I drug by the federal government.  Without getting too technical, that means it has no medicinal value and is not acceptable to be possessed for recreational use under any circumstances.  Drugs like heroin and cocaine are on this list along with many others (if you need a real education on this just watch a Cheech and Chong marathon).  The problem is that many drugs that have questionable value or are far more abused are not on the list.  As a matter of fact, your doctors, insurance companies, and anyone who is trying to make a buck off the drug wants you to have these in quite large quantities at very affordable prices.  The drug that first comes to mind for me is Ativan.  Ativan is a drug commonly prescribed for anxiety, sleep, and basically to calm you down.  It’s Valium for the millennial age.  It works like a charm but is quickly habit forming.  It is also incredibly dangerous when mixed with alcohol.  If you want to party like a rock star (and maybe die like one) wash your Ativan down with some bourbon and let the fun begin (none of which you’ll remember, trust me).

I know all of this because I’ve had my share of substances.  Please do not take this next paragraph as any sort of bragging.  For starters, I know people who have done WAY more than me.  Anyone who knows me knows that and that I always managed to stay off the edge when it came to too much (very subjective there, but let’s go with it).  Also, it really is nothing to brag about. Certainly not when the use turns into abuse and your jobs, health and relationships are at risk.  That being said, I don’t see anything wrong with sharing the experiences of using drugs and I think that puts my eventual conclusion to this post in context.  So, my story in a few sentences is that I drank for about 30 years, smoked pot for about half that time, and supplemented with a host of prescription medications throughout.  Some were relatively harmless like the range of antidepressants I have been on (though one I took in the 90’s turned out to possibly cause a fatal liver problem, but hey what the hell we all make mistakes!).  Others, like Ativan were addictive and more problematic when combined with other drugs. By the time I got sober, I had mostly phased out pot, but was hitting alcohol and prescription drugs pretty hard.  I haven’t had anything stronger than a cup of coffee or non-alcholoic beer in just over six months.

With that background, my position on the legalization of marijuana is surprising.  I’ll start with the statement that legal or not, everyone should get high at least once in their lives.  When done right, and in the proper setting, it puts you into a state of mind that is truly liberating.  It is no accident that so many creative endeavors have been fueled by the stuff. I also see how it could benefit in a number of ways as a medicinal agent.  But, just because pot may be a great experience and possibly even helpful, should it be legal?  Should it be available next to the Jack Daniels and the pharmacy where they are dishing out the Ativan?  My question to John Boehner and anyone else who has pivoted to supporting legalization is why now?  What has changed that makes it the right time?  Why marijuana and not cocaine?  Why not go the other way and explore prohibition of alcohol again?  

My point is that whether it is legal or not, it doesn’t fundamentally change the morality of doing drugs.  I have never understood why one drug is fine (we can drink wine at church!) and others are explicitly immoral (satan wants you to smoke dope!)  I find nothing immoral about using any drug any more than I would find it immoral to sit and eat a pound of bacon (done it – separate post). It may not be a good decision, especially when done in a way that harms yourself and others, but we make lots of bad choices that aren’t regulated and I don’t see why marijuana is singled out along with a few other drugs.  So, if there is nothing “wrong” with smoking pot, why not make it legal?  Heck, why not make everything legal?  A true libertarian (which I am not) would say hell yes it should all be legal.  Someone with an open mind, but with a logical fear that wide open may be too much, may say how about we think about it a little more.  I am in that camp.  I just don’t get the rush to legalize at this point.  If you want to smoke dope, you can do it just about anywhere.  It’s already been decriminalized or outright legalized in terms of small recreational use in many parts of the country.  Go to one of those places, find a dealer (or get yourself a medical card), and have a blast.  Who gives a shit if the federal government cares or not.  They certainly are looking the other way when you accumulate your 72 assault rifles and stash of 10,000 rounds of ammunition (is that a lot? I have a no idea but I wanted to sound very dramatic so I hope it is). I really don’t think it matters if you smoke a joint around the campfire this summer.

I guess the bottom line for me is that we have bigger fish to fry and I am pretty indifferent at this point if it is ever legal or not.  Right now, I am not interested in the stuff at all, but that may change as I explore my mental and physical health in this state I’m in of abstinence. If and when that happens, I’ll have my next dance with Mary Jane with or without Uncle Sam on my side.  If he’s with me though, I certainly will pass the joint along.  The poor boy sure seems like he needs it after the year we’ve had.  And if any of you are around, you can join us.  Even if it’s your first time, you are welcome. Just remember to inhale.

Cheers,

Jim

[vitamininfusiontherapy]

IV Therapy Benefits You Need to Know

Over the past few years, IV therapy, which infuses vitamins directly, has ended up being an increasing number of prominent. The therapy's increase in appeal was possibly as a result of its usage by stars. Now, several others have actually looked for the treatment program for the various wellness may benefits it may offer.

When made use of properly, IV therapy could be quite helpful. Regrettably, as the popularity of IV drip treatment has actually enhanced, so as well has the variety of clinicians with little to no medical background supplying these solutions. If you wish to make use of IV treatment, it's crucial that you look into the clinic you're utilizing ahead of time. Below, you'll discover a brief overview of what IV treatment is, along with the benefits as well as potential dangers of IV therapy.

What Is IV Therapy?

When you take your early morning dose of vitamins, the most essential absorption rate you may expect is just in between 50-60%. That implies that up to fifty percent of the supplements are actually going to waste, as in right out of your body through your urine. This is irritating taking into consideration supplements are frequently pricey. IV hydration methods, on the other hand, have a 90-100% absorption rate.

A mixture may take 20 mins to an hour and is done at a medical office under the supervision of an accredited professional. By taking in the nutrients with an IV, you are enabling them to get in the blood stream swifter than if you consumed them.

In the past, those who sought IV vitamin treatment were individuals who aren't able to eat adequate food or have an illness that interferes with nutrient absorption. Newer makes use of for this treatment consist of dehydration alleviation after extreme workout or alcohol consumption, a boost for the health system, and a rise in power levels. A lot of healthy people may obtain enough nutrients from a well balanced diet plan, but that takes longer and calls for consistent maintenance.

What Are the Conveniences of an IV Drip?

IV drip treatment could supply numerous wellness may benefits. Regrettably, there hasn't been much research focused on IV therapy clearly, with several research studies being anecdotal. Nonetheless, there is substantial proof sustaining the potential wellness may benefits of high dosages of vitamins, minerals, and also amino acids for middle-aged adults, mostly when infused straight. The absorption prices of dental supplements are very little, particularly when contrasted to the absorption prices of straight shots.

To obtain an IV drip, you will certainly obtain a needle injected into your capillary that's linked to a tube connected to a bag full of vitamins. The drips include fluid that might have a mix of vitamins and also anti-oxidants. It normally takes about 45 to 60 minutes to complete.

An intramuscular injection (shot) of vitamins is the fastest way to get vitamins as well as there is no IV gain access to called for. An intramuscular shot is pressed right into your gluteal or deltoid muscle mass and takes only 10 seconds. The dosage is much smaller since the muscular tissues may not take care of as much quantity, yet the absorption rate is almost as high as an IV drip.

Everyone is different, so generally, the facility will certainly identify your demands based on your specific wellness.

Why Not Just Take Vitamins By Mouth?

Data reveal that almost fifty percent of men and women over the age of 50 make use of an oral multivitamin supplement, with sales approaching $11 billion each year [R] When you take a vitamin supplement, it needs to disintegrate totally within 20 mins of consumption for you to receive its full advantages. Or else, the vitamin goes to waste.

One study evaluated supplements on the Canadian market to locate if they soaked up as briskly as the label indicated [R] The research hinted at false marketing, saying that numerous producers utilized terms and also declarations to "include pseudoscientific and unjustified value to the product." It ended that "today's customers may not presume that the item they acquire will certainly have an acceptable top quality with regard to the fragmentation behavior."

Moreover, the American Fda does not manage vitamin supplements. And also, the absorption prices of dental supplements is rather reduced. For instance, if you take a calcium supplement, your body's digestion system soaks up 20-30% of the pill. You will pee out whatever your body does not absorb, suggesting that you're losing cash on supplements.

Likewise, research studies have actually found that the body absorbs approximately fifty percent of a dental vitamin B12 supplement. The research study also located that the absorption rates decrease when the dose of the vitamin is higher. It's reasonable to conclude that injecting high-dose vitamins into your blood stream using IV treatment is one of the most reliable way for your body to absorb B facility and various other important vitamins [R]

Does It Actually Function?

If you're mosting likely to go down a couple hundred dollars on a solitary therapy session, you need to know if it works. Due to the fact that there are few studies readily available now that have tested the productivityy, it is hard to definitively say if it is valuable for severe or persistent conditions.

There might be a placebo result with this therapy. Refresher course: The placebo result is basically a mental "trick" where you assume you are really feeling far good even if the medication has actually not worked yet.

What Is in the IV Drip?

One of the most typical active ingredients found in an IV drip are vitamin C, B vitamins, magnesium, as well as calcium. There are additionally trickles that consist of amino acids and anti-oxidants, such as glutathione. If you recognize with exactly how to construct muscle mass, you might understand the benefits of amino acids, the foundation of protein.

There are no limits to which vitamins and also nutrients may be provided, yet the ones are those that may be measured with levels to make certain that the infusion is provided at a healthy and balanced dosage.

Who May Gain From IV Therapy?

IV therapy might assist people from different histories, consisting of:

Athletes

Recuperating from intense training is what aids you do a lot more intense training as well as obtain swifter, larger, more powerful. By replacing your electrolytes and also getting B vitamin dosages, your power may return, and dehydration goes away. Amino acids, electrolytes, as well as other vitamins may improve endurance, and also this recovery does it without power drinks, pills, shakes, and also the undesirable side effects of the additives in a number of them. It may additionally eliminate lactic acid, making the treatment a great alternative pre- or post-workout or occasion.

Joggers

Marathons are grueling. Dedicated trickles may offer you broadened health assistance, helps detoxification, as well as keeps you stimulated and refreshed. There are also hydration as well as antioxidant representatives consisted of. Be alerted, however-- some events, organizations, and also sports do not allow IV therapy due to the fact that it may modify your performance, so make certain to check before you participate.

Individuals in Their 30s

In your 30s, you're likely to be shedding the candle light at both ends much faster than you may also obtain more candle lights. Between work as well as play, IV treatment could offer you with the power increase you require to preserve all the important things you are doing while looking excellent.

It's likewise OKAY to be sincere as well as admit that you're most curious concerning IV treatment for headache relief. There are mobile centers that go to performances and also occasions to supply this service. With IV hydration therapy, you get hydration, a high dosage of vitamins, anti-oxidants, and micronutrients so you may help your liver detoxification and also get your power back.

People in Their 40s

Power levels are most likely your main problem today. If you simply had a little bit extra pizzazz you could get even more done at work, workout everyday, have fun with the kids, and also fix the globe's troubles.

People in Their 50s and also 60s

Retired life is so close you may taste it. If you have been dreaming of taking a trip as well as taking up your pastimes full time, you wish to have the power and toughness to do it. A general dose of vitamins works to lower swelling, muscular tissue discomfort, fatigue, and also stress.

How Much Does the IV Treatment Cost?

IV treatment is not costly. Depending upon the facility as well as mix of vitamins, it's possibly mosting likely to run in between $75 and also $200 for one treatment session. If that seems like excessive, consider this-- your body just takes in concerning half of the vitamins and nutrients that you take by mouth, indicating you lose your hard-earned money. The money you spend on IV treatment is completely used the way you desire.

Kinds Of IV Therapy

Modern IV treatment was originated from the work of Dr. John Myers, that developed what became referred to as the "Hydration therapy." The certain formula of the cocktail is not specifically clear because Myers did not release any type of created material on the treatment as well as people were not able to offer full details. The estimates think Myers provided a slow IV push of a combination of magnesium chloride, calcium gluconate, thiamine, vitamin B6, vitamin B12, calcium pantothenate, vitamin B complex, vitamin C, and water down hydrochloric acid.

Myers's clients received monthly, weekly, or two times weekly injections for as much as 25 years to deal with chronic problems such as exhaustion, anxiety, upper body pain, and also palpitations [R]

A customized variation commonly made use of currently contains magnesium, calcium, B vitamins, and vitamin C. This mix has actually worked in dealing with migraines, fatigue, fibromyalgia, intense muscle spasm, top respiratory tract infections, chronic sinus problems, seasonal hay fever, heart disease, and various other points.

Not Simply a Headache management

You might have become aware of IV therapy being used as a headache "manage," yet there are also extremely real may benefits for your daily life.

If you find yourself resting good, being much more kicked back, as well as able to educate more difficult as well as more often, you are most likely to stick with the therapy program. You do not require to be a singer, celeb, or in a continuous event mode in order to profit. The majority of that seek IV therapy are regular people that simply require an increase.

Research study Your Medical Professionals Before IV Treatment

When looking for IV therapy, it's important that you look into the center you desire to use. Some clinics make deceptive insurance claims about IV treatment, providing clinical recommendations that they are not authorized to utilize. Over the past number of months, the Federal Trade Commission has actually cracked down on local business owner' management of IV treatment without proper licensing [R] Make certain you locate a supplier with a seasoned medical background that you depend administer your intravenous treatment.

And also Now?

While few research studies have been published so far that have actually examined the potency of IV vitamin therapy, it may be a valuable treatment when given by a doctor. As it ends up being more preferred and gathers even more interest, more study as well as screening will likely be done to verify the advantages.

If you are seeking relief from a persistent condition or if you simply stayed up far too late appreciating the night life with your friends, IV vitamin treatment may be an outstanding option for you.

Checking out educated doctors will substantially enhance the likelihood that your intravenous treatment achieves success. At Prime, we have actually made it very easy for you to get going and also find the therapy program that's right for you.

The post “ IV Therapy Benefits You Need to Know “ was published first on PRIME

If you are in Toronto, visit Dr. Amauri Caversan, ND. He offers various IV therapy drip treatments. Go check him out!