#but moralizing their fucking body is stupid and just hurts people who look like them

[punkitt-is-here]

i think we should tell blonde guys with glasses they look like Dahmer, keep them on their toes

noooo listen. I don't care how funny something sounds in your head, I have serious issues with making fun of people for things about their appearance even if it is "accurate" or whatev. We should all be nicer!!

[cure-icy-writes]

i think the reason i like the murderbot diaries so much is because the dystopia feels very real and relevant in a way that no other "oppressive government fearmongering" has, and because murderbot is such a compelling protagonist.

this is an autistic person who is struggling and angry and terrible at having emotions. it lives in a capitalist hellscape where people are disposable. it's traumatized as hell, but it's easier to consider itself disposable than confront the terrifying reality of personhood.

(it confronts the terrifying reality of personhood.)

it likes escaping into fiction. it has a fucked up relationship with pain and its own body. and it reads so strongly as disability coding to me, how it doesn't see the bullets or the chunks missing as horror but merely annoyance. it's fundamentally different from those around it, in ways that they struggle to understand. (they make a distinct effort to understand.)

this is an autistic person who is not like you, who suffered in ways that you cannot understand, in ways that would horrify you. this is just another tuesday.

this world is not kind. there is legal fine text that destroys lives and there is hereditary indenture and contract labor where you're forced to still pay for preventative medical care out of your paycheck and no one says slavery, but everyone knows what it means.

these people are kind. they will watch your favorite shows to help understand you, they will forge documents to give abandoned people their freedom, they will allow you to be near them because they like you. these people are proof that there's love in the world, and you can come out of your shell if you are ready to see yourself as a person.

science fiction is one of the genres that has the potential to be amazing, but is quite often just plain shitty to disabled people. and, to people in general? "oooooo look how scary it is, people have all their basic needs fulfilled by technology!" when technological advances are what gave housewives the time they needed to actually get jobs and put together the feminist movements, when this new technology that the narrative regards with such disdain could provide disabled people with newfound mobility and independence.

it speaks of a truly dismal view of humanity, the belief that without strict labor under capitalism to keep us all in line, we would just fall prey to our vices. and I think it also speaks to a loathing of one's self, to think that humans are not capable of self regulation, to think that pain and suffering and punishment are somehow moral and virtuous. that humans need to be punished constantly, that suffering will bring them closer to something like god, to something like goodness.

but murderbot doesn't do that. murderbot says, "i have seen humans do horrible awful stupid things. they can't be trusted with weapons or security and they shoot me all the time and it sucks. but they make stories and art. the people in the entertainment media gave me the tools to contextualize my own emotions. they are my coworkers. i don't care about them. i got shot in the back protecting them but i didn't care about them. okay fine maybe i care a little. they're annoying. i'll eviscerate anyone who hurts them. they're mine."

[sanjoongie]

Wet for a Villain

ღPairing: Song Mingi x Reader (f) ღGenre/ Au/ Trope: smut, villain au, enemies with benefits ღWord Count: 730 ღRating: +18 MDNI ღSummary: you're a detective in a city where a villain creates havoc for heroes and police alike... but you're fucking him?! ღWarnings: penetrative sex without a barrier, big dick! mingi, breeding kink, corruption kink (?), creampie, overstimulation, dat dick so good you'd ignore your responsibilities to get it from mingi ღDedication: @downtoamagicalland, @mingsolo & @starlitmark my mingi stans that deserve to be fed more! Here’s some instant inspo, I hope you enjoy! @mejuii lowkey for you because you helped urge it on, and i know you like a confident mingi ENJOY @smallfrye honorary suffer with me braincell tag

The world is on fire outside and you bury further into your blankets. The sirens’ wail and you flinch as an explosion lights up the night sky. You knew exactly what that means; Mingi is out causing havoc and soon he’ll show up on your balcony.

You were a detective for the local police force but tonight was your night off. Mingi always made a strike when you weren’t on shift. You hated the mayhem he created, and the people he hurt. You hated that he made you cast aside every moral bone in your body out the window. But you simply could not tell him no when he came to you, covered in blood and soot and ready to fuck. 

The hard rattle of your balcony door brings you back to reality. You look out to your balcony and there’s Mingi. When your eyes meet, he pushes through the glass. There is nothing that stops him from getting where he wants to be, and by the flash of lust in his eyes, he wants to be in between your legs right now.

“Did you see the explosion?” Mingi mentions while he slowly pulls down the covers that you had dug yourself into. You nod as Mingi’s fingers find the waistband of your underwear and nimbly pull them down your legs. 

“The heroes went to go save the ‘innocent’ people caught up in the explosion while I got away. They’re so predictable.” Mingi pokes his tongue into his cheek, staring at your pussy, completely visible for him now that your legs are spread.

“They’ll never find me here, will they, angel?” Mingi smirks.

You shake your head, shame covering every inch of your skin. Mingi simply takes the goosebumps as a compliment. It always seems like the more chaos Mingi creates, the harder his cock is when he comes to you. 

The villain barely pulls his pants down enough to release his very well-endowed cock, gripping it tightly and running it through your folds. You had been wet the moment the explosion went off. Mingi hums, content that you are ready for him.

“So perfect, just for me, aren’t you, angel?” Mingi murmurs under his breath. 

He pushes into your waiting hole and you groan as he pushes until he is all the way in, no stops, no check ins, it is all about him now; his chance to fuck and brag about how he got away once again.

At first, Mingi is more than happy to watch his dick move in and out of your wet pussy, smirking at how well you take him, despite your conflict of interest. He pokes and prods at your pride, speaking on how you should be the one handcuffing him and manhandling him. But he’s the one who’s got your wrists pinned above your head, fucking you so good, you push your legs even wider to receive the pleasure he’s giving you.

The second round involves Mingi bending you in two, attaining an even deeper angle that he loves to torture you with. He speaks on how he’s inside of you so deep, that he’s going to give you little villain babies, to add to your shame. He fucks your cunt so well that your cunt is still experiencing aftershocks and pushes his cum out from the first and second round.

The final round, the one you always despise, involves spooning your body. By now Mingi is done crowing about his accomplishments tonight, done speaking on how stupid the police and the heroes are. Now, he whispers into your ear, while he plays with your nipple, about his next plan of attack. He loves the thrill of telling you everything, hoping that one day you will have the courage to take him down.

You don’t--you’re not sure you ever will. Because then that means these sessions will end. Then your shameful past will come to light. You might even lose your job. You continue to put your needs and wants before the good of the world.

So when Mingi finishes the third time inside of you, lazily rubbing your clit to overstimulate you even more, he always whispers one final jab as you fade to sleep.

“You’re just as bad as me,” He says, the smirk in his voice apparent, also with a dash of admiration, “Perhaps that’s why you’re perfect for me.”

Taglist: @hijirikaww @flurrys-creativity @stardragongalaxy @k-pop-ology

[dyns33]

The Big Nice Punisher

I never gave love to Frank and Frank only in a story so I decided to change that

Y/N should have gotten used to it, now that she was friends with Matt, Foggy and Karen.

It had happened several times that the devil of Hell's Kitchen had knocked on her window to ask for a medical kit since she knew his secret, even if the fool preferred to die in a trash rather than ask his friends for help.

It had taken everyone's intervention to force him to admit that he had a problem, and that he could count on them if he wasn't being chased by an army of ninjas.

More than stubborn, his priority was above all to ensure that he did not bring any danger into their home.

Karen wasn't Matt.

She didn't want her friends to be in danger either, but her moral compass was visibly broader, and allowed her to do more things.

Like coming to Y/N with the Punisher losing a lot of blood, asking if she could hide him for a few days and make sure he was still breathing.

Y/N had followed Frank Castle's trial on television, like the whole city. She had heard about all the people he had killed, but also the people he had saved. She had heard what happened to his wife and children. And above all, she had read in all the newspapers that he was dead.

“Can you explain to me or are you going to tell me it’s better if I know as little as possible ?” she asked as she helped Karen place him on her couch.

"Actually, I don't know. I found him like this when I came home from work. Your apartment was closer, excuse me. He doesn't want a hospital, for obvious reasons, and I was afraid he wouldn't manage to get to my place."

"Okay. Just promise me he won't jump on me when he wakes up."

“Frank is very nice, don’t worry.”

'Nice' probably wouldn't have been the first word Y/N, or anyone, would have used when talking about the Punisher, but Karen was pretty good at judging people, and that was out of the question to leave him to die anyway.

Even if she managed to see the good in him, it still seemed a bit exaggerated and even very optimistic that Karen would decide to leave Frank Castle unconscious in a stranger's house. She took the time to write a little note, telling Y/N that she could show him if he didn't trust her, but repeating that everything would be fine.

If he didn't have a reason to hurt her, he wouldn't hurt her. Really very reassuring.

Sure enough, the Punisher woke up in a panic as Y/N was making dinner, looking around with wary eyes and grimacing when he saw her. His first instinct was not to attack her but to try to flee, but his injury did not allow him to reach the door, his path ending in the middle of the living room.

“Karen warned me this would happen.” Y/N sighed, hesitating to put down her knife.

"Who are you ? Where am I ? Where is Karen ?"

“In order, I'm Y/N, you're at my house, and Karen had a job emergency so I'm babysitting for her.”

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter.” he groaned, holding his leg.

"Look, you don't want to be here, I'm not really happy about it either, but if you let me help you, you can leave quickly."

"I'm leaving now."

"Oh, no way ! I promised Karen I wouldn't let you die and I feel like you're just as stupid as Matt, so you're going to rest your ass on the couch, you're going to eat, then I'll see if you haven't reopened your wound !'

"… Yes Ma'am."

The terrible Punisher then began to look like a little lost dog, speaking little and accepting the plate that Y/N offered him, thanking her with a nod, his big black eyes following her as soon as she moved in the room.

He insisted that he could take care of his leg, but just one look made him shut up again, letting Y/N do what she wanted, since he obviously had no choice.

"I'm not a doctor, but between your broken ribs, the bullet that was in your leg, and the other marks on your body, I will say that it would be best for you to rest for a few days before you start punishing people again."

“No time to wait.”

"That wasn't a suggestion, doctor's orders."

“You just said you’re not a doctor.” he said with a smirk.

“I’ll tie you to the bed if I have to.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

In the end, his leg was causing him too much pain and Karen had forbidden him to move over the phone, it was decided that Frank Castle would stay with Y/N ​​for at least a week. He seemed to be the most annoyed by the situation.

Both women were right about him : he was nice, and he was like Matt. He didn't like asking for help, and he was afraid of putting innocent people in danger by his mere presence.

Yes, he had tried to find Karen when he was injured, but Karen knew how to defend herself, and he would have found a way to convince her to let him go. He didn’t know Y/N. He didn't like the idea of ​​intruding into her home, into her life, into her world, even if Red wasn't far away.

"I also know how to defend myself if necessary, Mr. Castle."

"Of course Miss. And it's Frank."

“I can do the dishes by myself too, Frank.”

“I have no doubt about that, but I’m squatting on your couch, it’s the least I can do.”

A week might not seem like much, but aside from her colleagues and the trio, Y/N didn't see many people. This daily proximity to Frank made the atmosphere strange.

He always spoke little, almost never about himself, hiding his wounds like a proud animal, but being interested in her, not missing an opportunity to help her around the apartment as a sign of gratitude, and listening to her talk about her days with patience and sympathy.

It was almost difficult when his condition allowed him to leave. They had gotten used to each other and the separation gave them as much pleasure as their meeting.

Still looking like a puppy who didn't know how to behave, Frank gave her his number, just in case, taking hers if he needed to check on her. He wouldn't call her for a favor, it wasn't like him.

Obviously, his style was to stop giving any news at all and to completely disappear from people's lives.

Y/N could try to understand. He was dead in the eyes of society, he had a complicated past, his main occupation was murdering criminals… But all the same, a little message from time to time wasn't complicated.

The worst part was that he was in contact with Karen. Her friend seemed surprised that he hadn't contacted her. According to her, Frank loved her very much.

"He's shy, that stupid man. I'll tell him to call you."

"No, that's not necessary. I'm glad to know he's okay."

"Don't be ridiculous, you want to talk. He also asked me about you, I should have known he would do that."

Y/N probably should have too, but because in hindsight she didn't see why someone like Frank Castle would want to keep in touch with her. She had been useful, nothing more. Next to Karen, beautiful, intelligent Karen who he had known for a long time, Y/N didn't stand a chance.

There was also his family, for whom he had sacrificed everything. If he was only "friends" with Karen, there had to be a reason and that was because he refused to betray his dead wife.

This enchanted parenthesis of a week had been nothing other than a parenthesis.

It was stupid to be so sad for a man she had only seen for a week. And yet, Y/N was sad. So sad that she didn't pay attention to the time while having a drink at Josie's.

No doubt she forgot that despite the presence of Daredevil, Hell's Kitchen remained a dangerous place. Matt couldn't be everywhere.

So it wouldn't have been a surprise when she was followed by two guys, who cornered her in an alley and threatened her with a knife so that she would give them her bag. Then one of them looked at her with a funny look and licked his lips, and she tried to run away.

Before they could touch her, the first one had his head smashed against the wall. The other screamed, trying to defend himself with his knife, but the weapon ended up in his leg, and he was knocked out with a punch.

Slowly so as not to frighten her further, Frank helped her up, checking her for injuries and returning her things.

"Are you alright ?"

"Yes. I was careless."

“Not your fault, sweetheart.”

"I guess we're even now." she tried to joke, while sobbing. Y/N hoped he would think it was because of the shock, and not because she thought she wouldn't see him again afterwards.

This didn't make him laugh. He looked at her with his sad, worried eyes, shyly rubbing her shoulder as he listened to her breathing, waiting for her to calm down.

Then still without a word, he took out his coat to put it on her shoulders before walking her home.

There, he only left her when she was sitting on the sofa, to go get her a glass of water, letting go of it when he was sure she was holding it well, and remaining kneeling on the floor right next to her.

"… Karen said you were angry. Because I didn't call." he whispered, his eyes stopping from staring at her for a second.

"Karen is talking nonsense. I'm a big girl, and you owed me nothing. Nothing at all. I was happy to help you, and stupid to think that… Thanks for saving me. You don't have to stay."

Silence returned, but Frank didn't move. He stayed until she finished her glass, then until she was done shaking and crying, his hand never leaving hers.

But he still didn't move. And in that moment, Y/N wondered if he too had been disappointed when their week together was over.

Maybe Karen was right, he was shy, and he didn't want to put her in danger by staying in contact with her. As stubborn and insufferable as Matthew. And also nice. Why else would he have been there to protect her ?

"It's not a good idea." he suddenly muttered, closing his eyes.

"What ?"

Frank sighed, seeing that she might cry again. He could have left right away, because he didn't think his presence was a good idea, and probably he was right. No doubt it was ridiculous to love the Punisher.

But continuing to mutter, he stood up slightly, pressing his forehead against hers. Now he held both hers hands, looking desperate, opening pleading eyes.

He couldn't stay, but that didn't mean he didn't want to more than anything in the world.

"It's not a good idea." he repeated, however, as if to force himself to move, to remember his course of action, and he was quickly on his feet, ready to leave.

“Frank…”

"No."

“Frank…”

The door was closed as quickly as it had been opened and in an instant Frank was there again, kissing her like a thirsty man who had just found an oasis in the middle of the desert.

But the moment was furtive, almost a mirage, because the soldier quickly shook his head, swearing and saying again that it really wasn't a good idea, before fleeing the apartment.

Y/N could have been mad at him for that. But she was too busy touching hers lips, thinking that if he had kissed her against his principles, maybe Frank Castle loved her enough to come back.

This idea stayed with her, after she received a message just before going to sleep. Simple message, which made her smile.

"I was happy too. You're not stupid. Good night."

Yes, they would probably see each other again. In secret, at times when she wouldn't expect to find him in her apartment. But she was a bit used to Matt, Foggy and Karen. This wouldn't be a problem at all.

[gyumibear]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 STUPID CUPID !! | SIX: byob (bring your own baby)

warnings — swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, kys jokes, child endangerment(?), jealousy, mentions of injuries, mentions of brainwashing and morally grey behavior

written section — under the cut! (word count: ~1.6k)

Walking into Julie and Natty’s off-campus apartment, you were a little shocked with the amount of bodies venturing around the place. You knew that Natty was popular, but damn… The girl was popular. You could’ve sworn you saw a few western celebrities tucked into corners giggling to themselves with how many notable figures were there. How did she even meet them? “Hi cuties, thanks for coming!” The ‘she’ in question called, swinging her body around a corner to wrap arms around Belle’s torso. “You guys look sexy. I’d definitely hit.”

“Alright, alright,” You smiled back, reaching into your bag to pull out a bottle of alcohol that you’d brought, “We brought a little gift for you, Nat.”

“Thank you~” She gave you a small kiss on the forehead, taking the drink and then proceeding to swing back around the corner, presumably to the kitchen. “Make yourselves comfortable~!”

After she’d gone, your group of friends split off, all looking to greet other friends and party goers alike. You knew for sure Belle was off to possibly make friends with Ariana Grande, who was off playing Darts in the corner. Anton left to go find Sohee and Seunghan and Haneul went to find Julie, the other owner of the apartment.

So what were you to do?

You shifted your weight around, thinking. You looked around, taking in more people who were at the party, but you knew you were only truly trying to spot one person. Wonbin had to be around there somewhere right? Your heart was beating with anticipation of seeing him. Maybe tonight you’d finally talk to him like a real person?

Inside your bag was the potion that had been left in your school mailbox. You’d grabbed in earlier, morbid curiosity taking over, but you had no intention of using it tonight. It just looked like colored water to you, but you weren’t gonna take chances. You didn’t have time to take it out of your bag before you were being hauled to the party, otherwise you definitely would have left it in your room.

“YN!” Sohee stumbled over to you, clutching a red cup, his red face alerting you, “Hi…”

“Hi Hee, are you drunk?” You raised your eyebrow, letting him curl up around you in a sloppy hug. "You're absolutely plastered, aren't you?"

“Noooo…” He trailed off, taking another sip from his cup, “I have a high tolerance!”

“He does not have a high tolerance.” Seunghan appeared next, expertly plucking Sohee’s cup from his hands, making him groan out in pouty disapproval. “He’s had like two cups.”

“Typical,” You chuckled, hugging a pouting Sohee back, “Hee, your head is gonna hurt tomorrow if you keep going.”

“Don’t care… I want another drink!” Sohee murmured, nuzzling into your neck. “You look so pretty, YN.”

“Thank you Hee.”

“He never tells me I look pretty.” Seunghan crossed his arms in mock annoyance, “Bogus.”

“Maybe because you’re not pretty?” Anton was the next to appear, a bottle of water in his hands. “Here Sohee.”

“Nuh uh!” Sohee and Anton started bickering back and forth, with the younger desperately trying to get the older to sober up a little bit. You and Seunghan shook your heads in tandem, used to the routine of sobering up Sohee as if it were second nature. In a way, it kind of was. He wasn't the drinker the rest of you were.

"Sohee, did you just fucking bite me?" Poor Anton.

-

A few minutes later, you lowered a passed out Sohee onto the couch, shaking your head at how instantly knackered he’d gotten. Never let him drink alone, you concluded to yourself. Not that you didn't already know that. You took a squat next to him, checking your phone for anything new.

Outside of those silly little posts, you decided to check your messages too. None, since most of your friends and acquaintances were at this party. You had half a mind to go find something to drink yourself, but Seunghan and Anton had already left and you didn’t want to abandon Sohee. If he woke up and started drinking again, you'd definitely be responsible.

“Sup, YN.” Eunseok, ever so gorgeous, sat on the couch next to you. “Sohee drank?”

“Yep.”

“Figures.” He side eyed you, “You got him dumped on you, right?”

“Yep.”

“Poor thing." He laughed. "I’ll take care of him, you go have fun.”

“Really?” Your eyes widened, making Eunseok laugh and nod his head. “Don’t you want to go have fun?”

“Nah, I’m the DD.” He smiled, standing to his feet to pull you to yours. “Go! Before I change my mind.”

Stupid! You wouldn’t let him get the chance. You turned on your heel and walked into the crowd of bodies, sending Eunseok a finger gun on the way. You could see a small hint of a smile on his face as you did. If he wasn't your favorite upperclassman before, he definitely was now. Rest in pieces Shotaro and Sungchan.

-

“And that’s how we ended up here.” You explained to Haneul, her bright brown eyes staring at you like you’d grown another head. “And before you say it, yes, I do care about internet safety.”

“It really doesn’t sound like you do.” Belle facepalmed, “Yeesh YN.”

“Have you ever talked to Park Wonbin at all?” Natty asked, poking out her hip. “He’d probably fall in love with you as soon as you said ‘hi my name is.’ No love spell needed. You're gorgeous!”

“I know!” You threw your hands up into the air, exasperated. “I was just thinking about it! I wasn't gonna do it... I don't think.”

“Okay, so this love potion,” Julie spoke slowly. “Can we see it?”

You reached into your bag, pulling out the lightish pink bottle to show to them. Hmm, that was kind of weird. You remembered the bottle being clear and not pink, but maybe you'd just remembered wrong. Either way, you produced the bottle, your friends leaning in to see it clearly. All their eyes widened, but then immediately dropped into faces of pure pity.

“YN. This looks like water with food coloring.” Haneul deadpanned.

“I know! I was just gonna pour it into the sink later.”

“It’s so obviously fake.”

“What if it isn’t though?”

“The fuck are you talking about Julie?”

The girl in question stared at you all in silence before snatching the bottle from your hands and running off.

“Julie???”

Your friends didn’t have quite the chance to stop you before you were chasing after Julie, desperate to get the bottle back. You ducked and zoomed in between dozens of people, apologizing as you went. Some people cursed at you, others quickly hopped out of the way, but you didn’t care. Julie could be unpredictable! And even though you didn’t believe the love potion was real, it would be irresponsible of you to even let her play with something like that.

A person's back quickly stopped your chase, sending you falling onto your ass.

“Woah!” Wonbin exclaimed, quickly spinning around to be greeted by the sight of you. “Hey, you okay?”

“Mm yeah…” You placed your hands over your face in utter embarrassment. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re perfect, don’t worry.” He offered a hand, which you took, helping you to your feet. “Where’s the fire?”

“I was chasing a friend…” You rubbed your arm awkwardly, not even letting the fact that you were upfront talking to your crush even slide into your mind. You’d definitely shut down if it did. “Clearly, I’m not good at chasing.”

“I am.” Wonbin smirked at you, making your heart race. “Just who are we chasing?”

“Me!” Julie appeared behind you, nearly making you jump out of your skin. “Sorry about that.”

Before you could even start to open your mouth to yell at her, she slid her arm around you, producing a red cup in her other hand. You raised your eyebrow in question, but she wasn’t looking at you. She was looking at Wonbin, who was quietly watching the exchange. Now he was looking at you.

“Taro told me to bring you this.” She shook the red cup, handing it to Wonbin. “He mixed it for you.”

“Julie, is that-”

“Taro’s secret mixture, yes YN it is.” Julie cut you off with a close eyed smile, silenting hinting at you to shut up. “For Wonbin.”

“Oh cool. I love his little concoctions.” With that, Wonbin took a sip.

Julie made herself scarce, leaving the two of you alone (as alone as you could be in an apartment of bodies), claiming she had more drinks to pass around. You knew what she had done. But clearly, if Wonbin wasn’t reacting… then did it really not work? Wonbin took a glance down into the cup and you thought you could’ve seen a quick flash of realization in his eyes, but when you blinked he was back to drinking it like normal. Maybe you'd been imagining it.

“How… is it?” You asked, trying to gauge if nothing truly happened.

“Hmm…” Wonbin downed the rest of the cup before answering. “It tastes great. Like it was made with a lot of love.”

Oh shit.

“Haha… What…” You looked around desperately for a way out. "Really..."

“No really. Taro’s great at mixing up stuff.” Wonbin stepped closer to you, “By the way... You’re really pretty.”

Scratch that. Reverse it. What did he say???

“Huh?” You blanked, making Wonbin smirk again.

“You’re really pretty.” He repeated himself, staring into your eyes like he couldn’t get enough. "Can I take you on a date?”

WHAT. You almost choked on air, fighting for your life to remain composed in front of him. The love potion worked? There's absolutely no way.

"Yeah, sure!" Was what you said when you remembered that you needed to reply. "I'd love that..."

"I love you."

Okay, now you really were choking.

BACK | SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT

notes — “cupid” (wonbin) when the real cupid pulls up: 💀

sc tidbit #6 — soobin does have a habit of bringing babies to parties because nobody has the heart to tell him to stop. it’s always a new baby every time. nobody knows where they’re from or how he acquired them, but he takes care of them well so nobody cares that much!

taglist — open! [if your @ is bold, check your privacy settings because i am unable to tag you! if you need any additional help, send me a message! please remember to request to be added via the masterlist only!]

@onlyhyunjin @pxnklover @glorism @nujeskz @soheendo @starwonb1n @miyawwn @yoursyuno @akemiixx01 @i03jae @bebubilu @film-sea @saranghoeforanton @https-yeonjun @icewons @nctrawberries @neoculturewhat @hisrkive @taroddori @wonychu @fae-renjun @kyusqult @riizing777 @romehan @conwunder @sirenla

[tonyspank]

HEART

Warnings: Swearing, Frankie, bad writing and a taser?

A/N: Currently writing the next chapter for The Party & The After Party, also this could be read as GN! , there's a few mentions that you're a female tho

Words: 2.7k

Tara Carpenter x Female! Reader

Being Chad Meek's best friend had a lot of benefits. Including, knowing when a party was happening. This is exactly how you found yourself at this house party, dressed up as Spider-Man.

You knew Chad from your football team, he was your quarterback and you were the first female wide receiver to ever play in Blackmore University or the NCAA division in general.

Due to that everyone knew who you were, but you didn't care about the fame or the popularity, you just wanted to enjoy college and get to play football alongside your best friend.

There had been times when people would try to befriend or even date you for your name instead of your actual personality, and it made it hard for you to truly make friends or fall for someone.

Your trust issues began when your ex-girlfriend cheated on you with Frankie. She was the first person (other than Chad) to introduce herself to you and show you around campus.

The two of you started dating about three months after your friendship, and something always felt a little off. It felt as if you were on the same page but on different levels. You wanted to stay out and watch stupid thriller movies and cuddle on the couch while she wanted to go out to parties and show you off anytime she could.

You and Kayla did have a couple of things in common, you got along well, but if anything it was intuitively that you were more like friends or whatever. Sure, you guys were intimate but it still didn't feel right, you were never in love.

And you surely knew she didn't love you.

Especially, after seeing her under Frankie in your own dorm room.

Yeah, that was very disrespectful.

She then proceeded to tell you that she never liked you and only used you for Instagram followers and more friends. Yes, it hurt. But it was better to have her out of your life than to be living with a lie.

After your breakup with Kayla, you thought you'd be sad, but in reality, it just opened up your eyes a bit more. You felt more at ease.

"What's wrong with my sweatpants?" You ask, your voice slightly muffled through the Spider-Man masking over your face.

"I'm telling you I've never seen Spider-Man wear sweatpants," Chad tells you, taking a sip of his drink. You playfully roll your eyes looking over to Ethan for his help, noticing he speaks up.

"Actually, he does in the Miles Morales Spider-Man and Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man did behind the scenes."

"But none of that is live action," Chad argues his case causing you to let out a sigh.

"Regardless of how uncanon my Spider-sweats are." Chad furrows his eyebrows shaking his head as you continue, "I still have the best costume here."

"I think Ethan's outfit is pretty cute," Chad says, motioning to Ethan who smiles in response. You jokingly pinch the curly-haired boys' cheeks, "Yeah, but Ethan's just cute in general."

Ethan slaps away your hand while Chad shrugs nodding in agreement. "I'm going to go bother the lovebirds!" You quickly announce, patting Chad's shoulder before leaving.

You make your way through drunk college students and sweaty bodies before noticing Mindy and Anika cuddled up on the couch, walking over you softly push them apart, sitting right between them.

Mindy sends you a playfully fake smile leaning in close to whisper, "I'm going to fucking beat your ass after this party." She fake laughs afterwards noticing that Anika is watching. You fake laugh as well, but side-eye Mindy in slight fear which she can't see due to the Spider-Man covering your face.

Anika is about to say something but her eyes wander off, worry filling her face. Both you and Mindy follow her view, and you notice a female pirate walking alongside Frankie.

You clench your jaw as Anika voices her worries, "Ohhh, I don't love that." Mindy hums in agreement, Anika quickly gets up, softly grabbing the pirate's arm. She turns around with a smile listening to her friend. "Hey, wanna call it a night?"

The smile is still prominent on her face she looks around before answering, "No, uh. I actually think that I'm still going to hang, but you guys don't have to wait for me."

Frankie speaks up with a smirk on his face, "Don't worry. I'll take care of her, I'm Frankie."

Anika shakes her head, "And I'm spectacularly uninterested in knowing anything about you." Frankie scoffs in response while the female Captain Hook laughs, leaning in as she lowers her voice. "No, dude. Anika, I'm not that bad."

She takes a few steps back, slightly walking away. "But I appreciate you looking out for me." Frankie sends Anika a cocky smile before following the dark-haired girl.

You decide now is the time to step in, "I'm going to go help her." Mindy nods her head, sitting up on the couch as you walk over to Anika.

"I'll follow her. You get Chad." You instruct, Anika mumbles, "Okay." And you both walk off in different directions.

"Aren't you that girl involved in that 'Stab' shit in California last year?" You hear Frankie as, she lets out a chuckle, "No. That's a different pirate."

Standing at the end of the steps you speak up, "Frankie! Hey, why don't we keep the party down here? I'd hate to miss out."

Frankie and the pirate turn around at your voice, and you feel Chad beside you. "I think we're good Y/L/N." He replies, recognizing your voice through the mask.

"Well, Tara's good down here." Chad joins in, and immediately Frankie responds. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch that."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did." Chad remarks, trying his best to stay calm. Tara walks down a couple of steps, standing in front of you and Chad. "No, Chad it's fine. I want to."

Frankie walks down too, getting close to Chad's face. "Yeah, see Chad? It's fine she wants to." He turns back around but not before roughly grabbing Tara by her arm, she lets out an, "Ow." and you swiftly grab Frankie by his shirt, pulling him down the stairs.

"Don't fucking grab her like that." You push him away into the wall and a crowd suddenly appears, you don't notice Chad checking on Tara as you're focused on the Frat boy in front of you.

He pushes you back, "Get the fuck off me!" Tara removes herself from Chad's grip walking behind you and gripping your Spider-suit as much as she can, using all of her drunken strength to pull you away from Frankie. "Guys! Guys stop."

Chad angrily steps in, grabbing Frankie by his shirt, and pushing him onto the ground. And as you're being pulled away by Tara, Mindy walks in waving a hand basically telling you to go help Chad.

You glance at Chad then Tara who's shocked at the sight going on in front of you, then at Mindy. You knew Chad could handle himself for a couple of seconds until you got the drunk pirate out of the situation before she hurt herself trying to split up another fight.

"Excuse me!" You shout at the crowd, nearly everyone steps out of your way as you slightly and as softly as you can pull Tara away. Your heart drops when someone suddenly appears in front of you, "Hi! Sorry to interrupt, I'm just going to tase you really quick." Before you could plead your case, you feel a sharp pain in your stomach causing you to drop to your knees.

"Fuck!" You yell out, slapping your hand against the wooden floor. It felt like every muscle in your stomach had a Charlie horse, and you couldn't help but stay curled up on the ground even while Mindy rushed to your side, alongside Tara asking you if you were okay.

Chad was also there too, with a bloody nose. He takes off your mask, showing everyone your squinted eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and your parted lips.

Sam stands there, confused and guilty. Did she tase the wrong person?

"Sam! You tased the wrong person!" Mindy shouts at her. Oh. She did tase the wrong person.

You roll over onto your back, your hands on top of your stomach and you sit up. The group is silent, waiting for your reaction. "Fuck... that really hurt." You mumble, letting out a small laugh after.

Chad smiles, confused but begins laughing with you and everyone soon joins in, helping you up from the ground. As Chad and Mindy both have your arm making sure you were okay Sam walks up, and her face is filled with guilt.

"Holy shit! It's that psycho girl!" Someone yells out from the crowd. Sam sends a slight glare before turning her head back toward you.

"Shit. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to—" You cut her off with a wave, "It's okay." You then tell the twins you're okay, and they reluctantly let you go.

You look around looking for Frankie who definitely deserved the thirty seconds of pain you went through. Noticing he's gone you now focus on Chad, who whips his nose with a smirk on his face.

"I won the fight." He informs you with a jolly smile on his face.

-

Tara storms in front of the group, in embarrassment and anger at her sister.

"Tara! Will you stop!" Tara doesn't stop but only slightly turns her head to speak to her sister. "I cannot believe you did that, you embarrassed me!" Tara faces the front again, continuing her struts.

"I was trying to help you!" Tara turns around, upset if it wasn't obvious before. "And look what happened!" She raises her voice, motioning to you. Your face heats up in embarrassment, as you scratch your nose.

"You're out of my life for five years then you can't even leave me alone for five seconds!" She shouts, throwing her arms up.

"Because you're not dealing with what happened to us. Have you ever gone to see the counsellor at least once?" You look around the group, seeing Mindy let out a sigh watching the scene unfold in front of her.

"No, and I'm not going to." Sam shakes her head, "Why not!"

"Because I'm uninterested in living in the past like you are." Sam furrows her eyebrows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Chad then takes in a deep breath, tired of the back and forth between the two siblings. "Hey, guys, come on—" He's unheard or ignored as Tara continues. "It means I'm not gonna let what happen to us for three days define the rest of my life!"

"So you're just going to pretend it never happened?" Tara closes her eyes, trying to calm down, and when she reopens them her tone is softer than before.

"What are you doing here Sam? In New York." Sam scoffs, as Tara continues. "I mean y-you're working two shitty jobs to help with.. rent, whatever, but what's your plan?" She stumbles a bit on her words, and you think it's due to the alcohol in her system.

Sam slightly shakes her head, not knowing what to say as Tara proceeds with her point. "I know what I'm going to do. Okay? Because I'm going to keep going to college, I'm going to get my degree, and I'm gonna live my life."

You twist your lips and shift your weight from one foot to another.

"My life," Tara says, slapping her hand against her chest. "That I know." Sam eyes her sister with a slight furrow in her eyebrows. "You just follow me here and you won't let me out of your sight."

"Just trying to look out for you." Tara speaks up, "I—" but cuts herself off, letting out a sigh as she runs her hands down her face. "I know. I know you are."

"You can't do it for the rest of my life though, you have to let me go." There are footsteps heard coming up, Tara turns her head and before anyone could react or say something, Sam is getting a drink splashed onto her.

The girl yells out, "Murderer!" as her one of friends records. Sam gives the girl a shove causing her to slightly stumble back, quickly Chad and you hold Sam back not wanting her to do anything rash. "Fuck is wrong with you, bitch!"

The girl points at Sam, "You guys should stay away from her. She knows what she did!" Sam pushes Chad away, and Tara joins in with you trying to hold back her surprisingly strong sister. "I didn't fucking do anything!"

"Sure, bitch." The girl says, walking away backwards with her friends.

As the group walks away you stand back waiting for Sam as she rings out her shirt, Ethan takes notice of this, walking back and offering her tissues. She eyes the boy before taking the tissues out of his hand. Ethan walks off once Sam looks at him.

You walk to Sam, offering her your Spider-Man mask, "Uh, it's not a tissue but I'm sure it'll help?" She shakes her head waving it off.

"Also, um. I'm Y/N, and for what it's worth I think you're a good sister for trying." She stares at you a bit before nodding, and you begin walking away following the group.

Before you know it you're standing in the middle of the Carpenter-Bailey's living room, awkwardly. Chad is settling down, taking off his jacket and hat and putting on a t-shirt.

Sam, Tara, and Quinn were all in their selected rooms as the rest of you were in the living room.

"Chad?" He hums in response turning around to face you, "I think I'm going to leave."

"Oh, okay. Need me to walk you home?" He genuinely asks, you shake your head. "Nah, it's fine. Tell Tara and Sam it was nice to meet them."

You wave goodbye to Mindy and Anika who are sitting on the couch in front of you before exiting the apartment.

Moments pass and Tara's back in the living room, looking around. "What are you looking for?" Mindy laughs confused, Tara looked like a lost puppy as she searched around the small apartment.

"Where'd she go?" The two girls and Chad furrow their eyebrows. "Who?" Anika asks.

"Uh, Chad's friend." She utters, embarrassed. Mindy immediately noticed how pink Tara's cheeks were and the paper in her hand. Mindy shoots up from the couch, "What's that?"

Tara's eyes move to Mindy's view, she quickly pockets the folded note. "Nothing! I just felt bad that Sam tased the fuck out of them when they wanted to help me."

Mindy turns her head at Anika and Chad, raising her eyebrows and they instantly get the message. Tara thinks you're cute, and that note would confirm it. "Oh!" Chad says, standing up from his chair. "I could always give it to her."

Tara's eyes leave Mindy and go to Chad, "Really?" She says hopefully, "You wouldn't read it right?"

Quickly he shakes his head, "No. No. No! Of, course not!" He holds out his hand so Tara can give him the note, and she does. Anika watches this from the couch, but her jaw drops when she sees Mindy's hand snatch the note and runs to her with it.

"Mindy!" Tara shouts, trying to run after her but Chad grabs her, and all Tara can do is watch Mindy open her note in, reading it out loud.

"hi! this is tara, the pirate from the party. sorry that we had to meet on such terms, please let me make it up to you, from tara. HEART!" Mindy reads, shouting the last bit.

Chad lets Tara go with a shocked face, and Tara covers her own face in embarrassment.

Everyone's head turns to the door, noticing you standing there. "Hi..." You awkwardly, mumble out. "I forgot my mask." You tell them, pointing at it beside Anika on the couch.

Mindy looks at the mask, then at you. "How long have you been here?"

"Um.." You scratch your eyebrow. "Long enough to accept Tara's proposal." You laugh, with a cheeky smile.

Tara smiles widely, her face nearly as red as a tomato.

[puckpocketed]

i just hate when players do this and people call them “warriors” i know you wanna play in the playoffs to help your team but YOUR FINGERS ARE LITERALLY BROKEN MY GUY THEY COULD NEVER GROW BACK TOGETHER THE RIGHT WAY im crying

my poor cringefail wifes i love them all so much i hope they all take the rest they need

GOD I hope they get rest too :((

breaking soooo much character right now to give my fullest take, and it’s that we can hold multiple ideas in our minds and i don’t think they conflict

playing through injuries is terrible.

They are whole adult human beings and professional athletes who have resources to keep them informed about long term consequences, and they still get to make those choices even if we hate the choices they make. Even if those choices drastically reduce the length of their career. Even if those choices end with long term heath complications.

i might lose some people on this one but i don’t care!! it’s what I believe: being disabled or chronically ill/injured/in pain is not a death sentence. it is not the worst thing in the world. people live full and happy lives whilst also being disabled. can it suck for the person living through it? yes. absolutely. but to me, people are not and never will be defined by how able-bodied they are!!!

All of this is true (to me) and also we can still condemn the circumstances that cause them to make these choices. (culture of not wanting to be seen as soft, the normalisation/valorisation of playing through injury, all the other [gestures wildly] forces at play that set athletes up to make these decisions) Like i’m sorry to get political but choices do not exist in vacuums. sports does not exist separated from hegemonic models of masculinity or capitalism. there are so so so many reasons a player might choose to harm themselves by playing through injury and not all of them are noble or valid, some of them are stupid and informed by bullshit!!! and we should be mad at that bullshit!! because it’s awful!!!!

these are their jobs, and i’m talking in the sense that they are performing labour and i think labour laws and workplace health and safety must apply here too. I think we have to start talking about these things in terms of workers rights, in amongst all of the compassion we have for them as players. there’s the pressure to perform due to contract status and salary bonus milestones; there’s team doctors having direct conflicts of interest, a monetary and cultural incentive to look the other way when clearing people to play; there’s the plain fact of the best possible safety equipment (cages/bowls, neck guards, cut resistant protective gear) not being mandatory; the blatant denial of CTE coming from the league itself. there’s a lot. and it’s a workers rights issue, not just a moral one. someone will play through xyz because of the culture, because of the pressure, and they will die from it.

EVEN STILL. there is beauty and narrative resonance and something compelling about it all, and I don’t want to deny that. as someone looking from the outside in, sports captures people’s hearts because of these narratives. sacrifice and teamwork and triumph — we have an appetite for these things. I am never going to sit here and deny that I feel compelled by it (which is simultaneous to the anger, the fear, the deep deep well of “i’m sorry you have feel you have to do this”) This appetite I/we as a society have for pain — unpacking it and addressing it is a whole other conversation and I am not qualified to have it. I’m just going to acknowledge it exists because I think pretending it doesn’t would be dishonest of me.

we are allowed to feel fucked up about all of this. call it parasocial, call it entitled, call it inappropriate, i don’t know!! we are people and knowing other people are in pain tends to fuck us up — and as much as I try to keep a healthy distance from these celebrities, as much as I remind myself they’re strangers, I care when they’re hurt because I’m human.

anyway. YES OUR POOR CRINGEFAIL WIVES 😭🤲

[loveandmurders]

hii, can i request some angst with bo sinclair, maybe him and the reader (gn please :3) get into a fight, he basically says he doesnt need the reader and tell them to get out, and the reader leaves and doesnt know where to go so they hide in one of the abandoned houses, n basically hide there all night while bo (whos too stubborn to admit hes nervous) waits at home for them, but they accidentally fall asleep n wake up at like 4am or smth and the entire town is turned on as bo and vincent look for them? fluffy ending please? just break my heart then give me some tooth rotting fluff

thank you, have a wonderful day/night!

Hello love, I'm sorry it took me so long to write and post this request. I really hope you will enjoy this <3

GO BUT DON'T LEAVE ME

Gender neutral reader, with no physical description.

Warnings: Verbal abuses from Bo, Bo is an asshole but he loves you, morally grey reader who enjoys the killings, mention of blood, violence, killings, little injuries, tears, angst/comfort.

You didn’t know why, but lately, a lot of tourists were coming by Ambrose. You were glad because it meant the boys had all the work they wanted, and Bo could take out his anger on strangers, but at the same time, it was saddening you. You were feeling a little bit neglected by your boyfriend who was getting up early every morning and coming home late at night. And because of the hunt, you had to stay locked up inside the house for your own safety. You tried to busy yourself in the kitchen, and to take care of yourself, but you were starting to get bored and you wanted Bo’s attention more than anything.

Actually you had planned on trying to trap Bo in bed with you this morning, and then to have some sexy time under a warm shower, before continuing to seduce him with some pretty outfits you found in one of the tourists’ suitcases. If you were good enough, you could even hope for Bo to bring you to a restaurant for lunch. You really thought you could manage that because you had been good at having Bo wrapped around your little finger; your little attentions and cuddles worked a lot more on the man than he wanted to admit it.

But it seemed like it wasn’t your lucky day. As you tried to love on Bo for him to stay in bed, he roughly pushed you away from him and got up.

“Gonna be late ‘cause of your stupid ass” he told you as a greeting and you felt quite hurt because you just wanted him. But you were as stubborn as him so you got up, your naked body in its whole glory and you pressed yourself against his back.

“Maybe we could have a shower together, I could wash you up?” you offered as you kissed his shoulder blade, but Bo wasn’t in the mood today. He was overwhelmed with all the chores and work he had to do, and he was almost hoping there wouldn’t be any tourists today because he already had a lot of cars, windows and houses to fix after the last ones.

“Leave me alone” he said and he pushed you away again.

“But Bo…” you whimpered

“What?” he snapped, anger quickly rising inside of him

“I’ve been missing you…” you replied with a pout on your face

“Oh yeah? Well ya know what, all this work gives me some fuckin' peace! I just can’t with your neediness and clinginess all the damn time” he spat and you felt your heart breaking at those words. He was slicing deep into your worst and hidden insecurities. You always thought you were too much for people to enjoy, and to hear it from Bo’s mouth was worse than being slapped across the face. You looked down.

“I’m sorry, Bo, I’ll do better” you whispered because you loved the man and you wanted him to still love you.

“Ain’t givin’ a fuck, Y/N.” he said before grabbing his clothes and leaving for the shower.

You had no idea what to do. You wanted to cry but you couldn’t be that pathetic. You put some clothes on and you went downstairs to prepare breakfast. At least you could be a little bit useful, right? 

You were cooking some pancakes when Vincent entered the room. You quietly greeted him and he could tell something was off, because you had been quite a ray of sunshine in Ambrose since you were there. He asked you if you were alright and you simply nodded. You thought you needed to shut up and to give Bo some space, and hopefully things would be back to normal soon. Vincent didn’t insist but he knew he would need to keep an eye on you. He was aware of how his twin had the talent to ruin what was making him happy.

Bo sat at the table without a word. And as you placed a plate in front of him, you accidentally knocked down his glass of orange juice that fell on the ground and broke. You silently cursed yourself and were about to kneel down to clean up when Bo grabbed your wrist and pushed you against the closest wall. You gasped at the rage swirling into his eyes.

“Ya’re fuckin’ useless, ya know that” he screamed at you and you felt tears rising up.

“I’m sorry, it was an accident” you replied “I’ll clean up, you can eat your pancakes” you continued

“Ya give me no order” he growled. “Didn’t even ask ya to put food in front of me. Who do ya think ya are, my mother?”

“I’m just trying to take care of you” you said and he started to laugh. It was a cold dry and menacing laughter that made you shiver.

“Because ya think I need you? Ya think any of us needs you? The only reason we didn’t kill ya was because I wanted to fuck ya. I fucked ya, and now what, hmm? Honestly, nothin' to go back to” he added and Vincent got up and put a hand on his shoulder to make him stop. He knew that his twin was lying and the way you were starting to silently cry was quite upsetting. Bo moved from his touch but he let you go too. You had no idea what to do. It was the first time Bo was vicious and cruel with you. You needed to busy yourself to not let his poison completely break your heart. You were about to clean up the mess you did once again.

“Oh my god, just go” Bo cringed as he didn’t want to see you come closer again.

“Let me remove the glass pieces and I’ll go” you promised, as you were worried anyone would get hurt because of the glass. Lester might come home soon with Jonesy too and you didn’t want her to hurt her little paws.

“Fuckin’ LEAVE!” he screamed this time and you froze. Vincent tried to reach for you and bring you away from Bo before his twin could say something he would regret later on. “Leave this fuckin’ room! No ya no what, leave this fuckin’ house and never come back! I’m so done with ya, I don’t need ya, no one needs ya, no one loves ya and ya need to get the fuck out of Ambrose!” he yelled again as he threw the plate of pancakes on the ground too. You jumped and before Vincent could stop you, you ran away.

Your vision was blurry because of the tears. You couldn’t stop crying. You couldn’t think either, emotions swirling inside your heart and negative thoughts swirling inside your head. You rarely felt so bad. You ran for quite a while until you collapsed on the ground. You slightly hurt your knees and palms but you didn’t notice. You cried even more, until there was no tear left. You took a deep breath and looked behind you. The house was far away now, but you weren’t outside of Ambrose yet. 

The thing was you had no idea where to go. Ambrose had become your home and you had left your previous life without any hesitation. You enjoyed living with dangerous people, you liked their way of life and you found the murders very hot and arousing. You were a missing person in the real world, and if you came back to your old life, you would have to tell about the Sinclairs, and you would then need to go back to this boring and mediocre existence. You didn’t want that, but Bo made it clear he didn’t want you anymore. You weren’t too sure what to do, so you decided to wait and to rest in one of the last houses of the town. The twins rarely went there, and it would give you some time to determine what to do. 

You opened the front door and sneezed at all the dust and cobwebs lying around. At least, you should be safe here. You found a room upstairs and settled there. You got rid of some of the dust and you sat on the bed. There was a wax statue there, with you and you took some comfort in the presence. It wasn’t the best of Vincent’s creations, hence why it was there (you could tell Vincent had to put the members back on the body and it had been quite hard to do so). But at least you felt home and not completely alone.

You napped a little for the day to go through and then you explored the house. You found some old books and little boxes with jewels inside. You were certain the boys didn’t know about this, and it gave you the idea to explore more of the abandoned houses… Until you remembered Bo wanted you out of town. You tried to not start crying again. Your attention was soon somewhere else as you heard gunshots. You sighted as you understood more tourists came today. You hoped the boys would be fine, and wouldn’t get hurt because you wouldn’t be there to take care of them, like you usually did. You also hoped no one would find you there; it would be stupid to get killed now. At the same time, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You wouldn’t be able to stay hidden in this house forever, and you weren’t sure you would be able to get back to a more normal life.

Maybe you should get killed, actually. But life could be so fun too.. If only Bo wanted you back, even if you were getting quite angry at him for the way he talked to you as well.

You continued to listen to everything happening in the town and until late in the afternoon you heard screams and the usual hunt noises. The sun was slowly going down when the silence came back in town, and it seemed the boys had been able to get rid of the tourists pretty fast this time. You were glad for them, hopefully it meant the boys hadn’t been injured and the tourists hadn’t ruined more stuff in town; Bo had already his hands full. 

You sighed as your attention was back, one more time on your current situation. You still didn’t know what to do. Finally you tried to get some more rest because your brain just couldn’t think about what to do. 

And you slept like a rock, as all the emotions took their toll on you. 

You missed the three men calling your name in the silence of the ghost town, far away from where you were. You missed the worry creeping in the more they called for you. You missed the phone calls too, because you forgot your phone at the house and when Bo found it, he cursed even more.

As you were sleeping your worries and troubles away, Bo was sitting on his armchair, waiting for the front door to open. He had told his brothers that you were going to come back home on your own, and that it was not necessary to look any more for you. Vincent and Lester insisted but he refused, too proud to admit he was concerned. You were smart and independant but, at the same time, you needed him so much that soon enough you would come back. And you loved him enough to know he didn’t mean what he told you this morning. 

It was what he was repeating himself to keep calm. 

The truth was that he couldn't focus on the TV because his attention was on the front door, and that he couldn't even drink his beer because his throat was tight. He was silently cursing himself for having fucked this up so badly. You were one of the rare good things that happened in his life, and maybe you were gone forever now. No, no, that was impossible because you were soulmates. You weren’t saying “I love you” to each other very often, but you truly adored each other. Bo knew he was going to propose to you one day because he couldn’t imagine getting back to a life without you. He promised himself he would be better if… no, once you would be back home. This wouldn’t happen again, because he wasn’t the monster his father said he was, because he needed you, because he also had been madly missing you lately - and even more today - but he hated how weak his love made him feel.

However, after midnight, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to lose his mind if you didn’t come back home now. He got Vincent from the basement and called Lester who was about to come back to his own house. His brothers were quick to help find you, because they liked you, but also because they didn’t want to scrape Bo off the ground if they realised you were truly gone. 

The three men started to look for you and they hoped you were still inside of Ambrose, in one of the houses or somewhere close by. They also hoped that no tourist found you, and that you were all safe and sound somewhere hidden. They had turned on all the lights and were screaming your name. Bo was the loudest, and he was slowly starting to really panic. He couldn't stand the idea he might have lost you. He just wanted you back in his arms and to go to sleep with you.

You didn’t plan on sleeping so much, completely unaware of the circus that was happening in town. You woke up to a soft scratching sound on the bedroom door. You didn’t understand what it was at first. Actually, you woke up completely lost and confused. It was about 4 am now, and you were disoriented. You needed some time to remember you were in an abandoned house because of a very bad argument with Bo. You sat up, and looked around the room, trying to analyse your surroundings. After a little while, you heard a dog gently whining and you got up to open the bedroom door. Jonesy bolted inside the room and you giggled. You knelt in front of her and hugged her for comfort. 

“Such a good girl you are, you found me!” You praised her as she licked at your cheek. You hugged her more tightly and you closed your eyes. “You’re the only one who wants to find me” you sadly whispered and she cutely barked at you to tell you it wasn’t true!

It was then you heard your name being called and you looked up in surprise.

“Oh they’re looking for me?” you asked as Jonesy sat up. You, on the other hand, got up to look through the window. You blinked at the vivid lights and when your eyes started to get used to the brightness, you saw the Sinclairs looking for you. You couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on your face. It brought you some peace and relief to know you were still loved by your family. You straightened up your clothes and left the room, Jonesy on your heels. She wasn’t going to let you out of her line of vision, just to make sure you were safe and sound. 

You walked closer to the Sinclair house before answering their calls.

“I’m here!” you cried out and when Bo found out where your voice was coming from, he rushed to you. Before you knew it, you were in his arms. He tightly hugged you against his chest, stroking your back and taking into your scent. He was so relieved.

“Thank God” he whispered to himself but you heard him. 

You hugged him back, but you were still hurt by what he yelled at you earlier, and you weren’t going to forget about all the things he said so easily. However, you let him bring you home without a fight. Vincent and Lester hugged you as well and asked you where you were. You answered as Bo sat you down to check on you. He disinfected your little wounds on your knees and palms before putting band-aids on them as he listened to you. They all were glad you stayed close by. You let Bo take care of you without a comment and you didn’t dare to look at him for too long. You weren’t too sure what his mood was right now, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to take any more yelling at. Lester waited for Bo to be done to gently kiss your cheek and greeted you a goodnight. Jonesy refused to follow him and she stayed by your side like a true guard dog. You petted her head and cooed down at her for being such a good girl to you. Vincent sent a look at his twin, to silently tell him he should apologise to you. Bo scoffed and it made you look back at him with a raised eyebrow; you had missed the way the twins had looked at each other and didn’t understand what he was scoffing at. You were feeling insecure enough to believe it was at you. Bo tried to reassuringly smile at you before gesturing for his twin to leave the room. Vincent also kissed your cheek and reluctantly left. He went to his basement but his attention was on Bo and you as he was ready to intervene if things would go wrong once again.

“Time to go to sleep” Bo hummed and you were quite annoyed at the man for trying to pretend nothing happened today.

“Not tired for the moment and then gonna sleep on the couch,” you replied. He frowned at that and reached for your hips.

“Why that?” he asked and it was your turn to scoff

“So what, we’re gonna pretend nothing happened? Look, I'm here because Ambrose is my home… and because no matter what, I love you… But I can’t pretend I didn’t hear what you said today. I’m sorry I’m clingy and needy and not a good enough fuck for you…” you said before he cut you

“Ya know I didn’t mean any of this” he whispered as he brought you closer to him. He looked for your eyes but you turned your head to the side. He cupped your chin to force your eyes to lock with his. “Ya mad at me?” he asked and you shrugged. "Baby?" he insisted

“Ain’t really mad right now… I’m mostly hurt” you replied “I just wanted cuddles this morning. I know you’re busy but it was unfair of you to treat me that way”

“Yes, it was. What can I do to make it to ya, hmm? Too late to cuddle?” he gently smiled as his hands stroked your hip bone and cheek. You had to fight the urge to lean against his touch.

“Tell me you’re sorry, that you love me, that it won’t happen again.” you said and he nodded

“‘Course I love ya. Ya know I’m an asshole when I’m in a bad mood… but I’d go crazy if ya ever left me. I’m so relieved ya home. I’ll do better.” he replied

“So everything you said…”

“Nothin’, lies. I love ya need and want me that bad, because I… do need ya too. Ya make me happy. Do I make ya happy?” he asked as he rested his forehead against yours, both his hands cupping your face now.

“Not when you’re mean to me” you whimpered

“Won’t happen again. I promise, did I ever break a promise I made to you?” he continued

“No… but you’re a sweet talker with your southern charm… How can I be sure you mean what you’re saying now?”

“Because I want us to get married”

You stared at him in pure surprise. You knew the man was a family one, so the fact he wanted you to be officially part of it was a big proof of love.

“You’re serious?” you asked

“I wanna wake up with ya in my arms for the rest of my life, and I wanna listen to your pretty voice everyday, and I wanna pleasure ya and treat you like you deserve to be. I’m a shitty boyfriend, but I’ll be a good husband, ya know that.”

“I know that” you smiled

Taglist:

@feathery-ass

@g0thl3zz

@erasable-mustache  

@cavern-creature

@peachycupotea  

@p0rn-stargirl  

@akemiixx01

@zebralover

[acroagoraphobe]

What Makes a Man a Monster?

Chaper 5: Is It The Crimes He Commits?

Kinda just lost inspo for a little bit so hope this is good!

WARNING FOR DESCRIPTIONS OF GORE!

Sixer, Covered in blood both his own and not, saw the man in the fox head hood walk out of the town hall of the emptied town. Crosses with victims of Crucifixion hung up on the crosses, tied against them with ropes.

Dragging his weapon behind him, he walked up to Vulpes Inculta. Not shocked or scared by any of his displays of power and lack of a true sense of morals. I mean hell, who would care about a town of dead people if you just slaughtered around 8 or so people?

Vulpes gave a stupid little speech about 'blah blah blah Corrupt town, wicked, blah blah im a furry, blah blah.' and Sixer couldn't give two shits.

[Look upon my field of fucks, As you can see it lies barren. For I have none to give.]

Vulpes was shocked at such a display of disregaurd to the point he was trying to prove. Which let's be honest, nobody really gives a fuck either, and the other legionares were just there because they don't have to pay taxes.

"Like a profligate such as you to speak of such disrespect to a man more powerful than you."

"I should kill you like the others, But only I would be one to witness it."

[Okay, Pussy.]

Sixer had no Idea if Vulpes was pissed because he was compared to a cat, or if because he was called that of a female body part. But Sixer was brought joy by screwing with Vulpes and being a absolute shitlord. But Sixer just knew that furry boy was pissed. And hell, the Legionares jn the background had a look like 'Oh shiiittt'

And then Sixer just walked away, because like.. he had better shit to do, But he was onestly kinda surprised Vulpes wasn't shaking in his boots and pissing his pants at the sight of him. Since he was y'know covered in blood and bullet ho-

Wait they're already healed. okay. I guess.

And he really did just walk away, past the pile of burnt corpses and down the road, continuing to drag his weapon behind him. Which wasn't exactly efficient, but maybe it would spook some people?

Sixer continued on the road, walking through a crevice? canyon area? A road between two big hills? whatever the fuck it was didn't matter because he was now being shot at.

AND OH SHIT GRENADE LA-

Boom.

Direct hit, it blew off Sixer's right arm and most of his shoulder along with a chunk out of his side, exposed ribs and muscle leaking blood. It hurt like hell but it won't kill him. Chunks of his own flesh went in multiple directions, blood splattering across the ruined road.

He was knocked on his back and just layed there. He took a deep breath and rolled over using his left arm to get back up and stumble against a ruined car and FUCK LANDMI-

And there went his left leg. Bits sprayed across the road and coated the rocks along the sides. Sixer had no gun so.. he was absolutely fucked, Right?

Wrong.

The Raiders shooting at him were scared shitless of the fact that he was still alive. Despite missing a good few chunks out of him. He was bleeding from his nose too, just to add to all the blood and gore around him.

He practically crawled over to grab what was left of his leg, and just like that his leg was back on like normal. Freaky as fucckkk. Instant panic from the raiders.

One of the raiders literally yelled "FUCK THIS IM OUT!"

Dropped his gun and one of the other raiders shot him right in the head, blasting his head open and his dead body flying down the side of the hill? Wall? Thing? Whatever the fuck.

Sixer laughed. He laughed.

And just by luck the raider's gun happened to roll down with him. and Sixer nabbed it before two more raiders ran and the others didn't even bother with them.

[COME AND GET ME BITCHES!]

[flames-memory]

Saturday

I got up, and went to BC. Right away. I spent the whole night, unable to sleep. I’ve spent these night wishing I was with her. Snuggled up next to her, knowing she’s safe, and feeling safe myself. I don’t know why I didn’t insist, but I’ve been so.. hesitant. Hesitant to think I could be as important to anyone as they might be to me. I thought about that.. a lot that night. Thinking back… Kass placed a value on me, as a commodity, mostly. I think she might think she cared, but let’s be honest, I don’t believe that was “love”. I really do not know what it was. Wrong. The lab placed a value on me, monetary and scientifically. My parents… that one sucks. Realizing they were taking money for me.. at the time, I thought it was to help them. I know now I was sold off. My biggest value to them, in the end, was monetary. Who else has there been? Friends and boyfriends when I was young? I couldn’t even name one them now, none of them. We weren’t close like that. Did I do that to myself? Isolate myself somehow?

I’d say yes, but then.. BC.

She isn't the first person to treat me like a person. She's the first to look at me, SEE me, and take real action. Did I need saving? I guess. I wouldn't have said so, but it's somehow like I'd been slowly sinking into quicksand, and everyone else kept telling me to pull myself out. BC grabbed my hand and pulled me out. She sees me, a whole person, and more, she loves me. I accept that. That sounds stupid, but I don't think I really did until now.

I went to her, and she seemed so much better. I told her I was mad. She understood. She scared me so bad, I can’t even explain it. I LOVE her. I’m sorry I’m not ready to deal with losing her yet. I’m just not ready to deal with seeing her bloody broken body lying on the ground. I’m not. Call it a moral failing or whatever, fuck you.

I’m glad we talked, and I’m glad those chicks are helping her. She calls them the Lesbian Terrorists heh. She might stick around with them for a while I guess. As long as they can help her from hurting herself again. Hurt the bad guys, my love, not yourself. That only helps them.

She sent me off to the DJ party, and we danced and watched DJ Robocount do her thing. It wasn’t my Mistress… but it was fun. I kissed her during her set, in the DJ booth. I saw Stormy there. Max and I danced for a while, and the music was great. I think the thing with BC scared him a little. I understand. She’s a part of me, and he’s been ok with that. I think he still is, but he’s seeing what that might mean. When things wound down, he walked me to the portal, there was much kisses 😘, and I went back to BC.

In between, I went back to the apartment. I found some clothes.. I picked out white. Who knew she’d have white. Her usual outfit, but white, with a black shirt. All the old bloodstains gone, fresh and clean and ready for new ones – the right ones, belonging the bad people, not my Mistress. I shoved some stuff in a bag, and I went to her.

I caught her in the shower, heh nice timing on MY part.. and she was so much better.. I love her so much. I stayed with her, slept with her on the couch after a shower, and woke up in her arms. Best night ever. I want to do that every chance I get. Every chance she’ll let me, heh.

[dyingcatgirl]

Tw :angst, mentions of suicide, toxic behavior, mean Dominik,bad ending

Autors note: never love someone so dumb when someone could give what you want idk. Enjoy the read

Dominik santorski

Female reader!

Cynical skin ...

(...)

Dominik was clearly in a bad state of mind, after a failed second attempt of suicide, his parents sent him no a mental care center, finally coming to his mind realizing Sylvia was manipulating him, twisting his mind, when he realized, started to feel true hate towards her, he entered the game and told her what he thoughts about her.

“its some way pathetic the way you need to manipulate people that wants you like no one else, just cause' you're afraid and so sick that no one believes or care anymore about you, your family already thinks you're dead.” as the rage filled him.

Sylvia didn't kick him out, he just desapeared on his own.

Eventually he came back to school, with an horrible personality and morality... He began acting cruel towards people that now forgot the incident with Alex.

(...)

“ don't think you look so tough, remember everything silly, come here” said Alex, in a fight position

Dominik on the other side was laid back, but defensive

“y'know I don't care too much about you, suck everything up” grinning

Alex came fast towards Dominik with a wooden bat, y/n put herself in the directions towards the back was going, getting a hard stroke on her face.

She instantly throwed up blood on the floor, the boys stopped the fight, Dominik seamed unbothered, Alex on the other side was realizing everything

Eventually she tried to walk away falling not so far away of her originally place.

Y/n Petrovic was a shy student, who also suffered by the group of friends Alex lídered, they beaten her up tons of times making her go away of begin social.

She meet Dominik at the bookstore of the city,where Dominik and her talked about philosophy.

The next day Dominik told her to end her self existence and never talk to him anymore.

Since them where neighbors, it was difficult to stay away

(...)

“are you slow or something, go say something fucking weirdo” spit Dominik in her face.

He knew she was home alone, since her parents and his became "friends" they went to the opera together, He just made the nanny go to her house for today.

She was awake in her bed, lost in the walls still.

There was blood on her mouth and nightwear.

A big Bruise all over her lips and left cheek.

She didn't say anything, Dominik got mad and roughly shaked her body

“so now you stay still?, TOLD YOU STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY. NICE SHOW YOU MADE IN SCHOOL, YOU STUPID FUCK”

as he said, he moved to punch her in the face but stopt at the second he saw her eyes glistening and new blood coming out of her nose.

A small sigh of pain came out of y/n

“don't hurt me”

Dominik stayed still, a forgotten part of him came out. Guilt.

She fell down on him, unconscious.

Dominik hugged her and murmured

“i knew far away was better for you, don't leave”

For a moment the position lasted, she was awakening.

He.looked at her

“youre still bleeding. Why?”

An unexpected sadness came out from him

,“i don't feel good” she said, the same exact tone.

,“dominik, stay with me”

He knew were things were.going, he felt fear

“i don't want anything to do with you, our parents came back. Stay away from me” last thing he said

Since then, y/n did follow what he told her to do

Even if sometimes, both want to be with each other.

.

[lust4liyah]

just a lil sum sum bcus im having big thoughts about my man miguel.....

not proofread! contains; chubby! fem! reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, degradation, bad spanish like really bad.

think about miguel o'hara who is just so so gentle with you, who always makes sure he’s never too rough with you when you try and play fight him when you get a bit too energetic at headquarters. you were always cheered on by gwen and jess, and miguel knows you get a big head from their encouragement, so he always feigns defeat. just to see you smile, but he'd never tell you that.

think about miguel o'hara who always goes easy on you when you challenge him to arm wrestle you. he always humors you, liking the determined look in your eye as you tell him, like you always do, that this time, you’ll really beat him. miguel knows full well his strength easily trumps yours, but your hands are just so much smaller than his. if he took these little challenges seriously, he could seriously hurt you! didn't you know how much smaller you were compared to him?

think about miguel o'hara who reluctantly has to scold you and threatens to separate you from hobie when you two are up to your shenanigans. maybe you two skipped another spider meeting, or maybe you two screwed around too much on a mission, miguel tells you he will physically take you and your close friend and put you on separate missions the next time this happens. you didn't believe him and told him you would be too heavy for miguel. miguel proves you wrong one day when he catches you and hobie messing around in on miguel's levitating platform, lifting you up in only one arm with a stupid smirk on his face as you yelled profanities at him.

think about miguel o'hara who carries you in his big arms after a long mission. you’re cuddled up against his chest, your spider suit was gone and you were only in the shorts and lacy tank top you always wore under your suit just in case. you were sleepy and lightheaded after all the tiring things you had to do, miguel couldn't just let you walk. miguel ignores the teasing from hobie and lyla when he held you close, focusing only on the way your soft skin feels against his hands. nobody notices the way he holds you closer against him on his lap, nobody notices the way he shudders when your plump body brushes against the sensitive spot in his tight suit.

think about miguel o'hara who lets you off easier than everyone else. you were a firecracker, a burning fire through the headquarters. your personality, though very kind and loving, was also sassy and bossy. a lot of the spiders always stop to stare in envy when you tell miguel how annoying he is when he sends you on a mission on your day off or when you tell him how stupid his theories are about the multiverse. had it been anyone else, miguel would have thrown them out the window of headquarters. but because it was you, miguel only sighed and rolled his eyes at your comments.

think about miguel o'hara who tries and fails to restrain himself when you try to argue with him. miles morales had just zipped his way back to his home universe and you were beyond livid with the way miguel handled the young boy. you cornered miguel in his platform, hair crazy from your mask and lips pouty from your frowns.

"are you out of your damn mind?! you could have seriously hurt him today or worse! you need to learn how to get your fucking anger in check!" you screamed at the man, an accusatory finger pointed at him.

miguel was huffing and puffing while you criticized him, his dark gaze piercing through you like a sword as he towered over you. you stared up at him, your doe eyes trying to keep eye contact even though you were clearly frightened. your back was pressed up against the desk and despite there being so much more space, miguel took a step closer to you.

you still kept talking.

"you think just 'cus you think you know so much 'bout the multiverse you can treat people that way? where the hell is your head at, miguel? the fuck is wrong with you―"

"crees que puedes decirme qué hacer?" he cuts you off. you let out a shaky breath at his words. miguel threw out all the protective regards he used to have for you. he had been so nice, letting you try and bully him around, being easier on you compared to the other spiders, and this is how you repay him? yelling at him for some idiot kid?

"you don't got any authority over me, niñita. who do you think you are trying to boss me around?" miguel's body was pressed against yours now. your heart was beating fast in your chest at the familiar nickname, he called you that every time he tried to make you feel small. "i... i'm not―"

"you think because i let you do what you want that you can talk to me like that? hm?" miguel pushes on as he leans down to get closer to your face. he sighs, caressing your cheek with a gentle hand. "i've spoiled you too much. sido demasiado amable con mi chica, now she thinks she can yell at me however she wants".

he dragged a hand down his face in frustration. "this is my fault, though, not yours. poor baby, you don't remember the rules 'cus you haven't had to follow them in so long". he lets out a sarcastic laugh.

"that changes today".

your eyes trailed away from miguel's, squeezing your thighs together. it's true, you weren't stupid. he was much nicer to you than everyone else. you were special! you knew you were at least to him, so why is he being so mean?

miguel's once soft and loving hand felt cold once he forced you to look at him, your chin in his hand and your head tilted up. "oye, don't look over there. i'm talking to you, aren't i?" a sick smile stretched on miguel's face. "look at me". he demanded.

think about miguel o'hara who has you on your back, your pants discarded and your chest heaving up and down as fat tears ran down your cheeks. miguel's arms were around your thighs, his hips snapping against yours in such mindblowing swiftness.

miguel growls as he pulls you into a deep kiss, slowing down his pace just a bit to thrust into your cunt harder, deeper. his cock touched the more sensitive parts of your pussy, making you squeal into the kiss. he let you go, his previous pace making a comeback.

"mi-miggy! slow down, please! 'm g'nna... oh shit!" you cry out. the way your cunt sucks and pulses around miguel's cock makes him groan. he feels amazing, you wouldn't tell him that though. he stretched your poor abused cunt so good, makes your juices get all over him.

a hand reaches up to your cheek, wiping away your tears. "want me to slow down? yeah?" he asks you rhetorically. he pushed his hips into you, pulling you down so he could get a deeper angle. your fingers brushed through his hair, tugging ever so slightly as you cried harder.

you brought him closer. "please, miggy, please slow down!"

"slow down?" he parroted you. he smirked, his hands digging into your soft rolls as he thrusts harder, grinding his hips into your clit. "you keep pullin' me in, mama. how could i slow down when this pretty pussy is cryin' for me like that?"

as if to emphasize, miguel gently let one of your thighs go and gave your clit a harsh slap. you let out an embarrassing yell while miguel groaned against your neck. "this is your lesson, niñita. es como aprendes. can't have such a small thing like you bossin' me around".

"miggy", you sobbed, your hands pawing at his chest, "bein' so mean. please, miggy. m'gnna cum! g'nna make a mess, please!" you babbled.

you could've cringed out how pathetic you sounded, but right now, you weren't focused on that. the hot feeling of miguel's cock sliding in and out your walls, the wet kisses miguel left on your neck, the feeling of his balls slapping against your ass, that was all you were focused on.

"deja de llorar, niñita. you see what happens when you try 'n' boss me around? a 'lil thing like you?" miguel laughed pressing a kiss just under your eye where tears were falling.

"been too nice to you, been too kind to this sweet cunt, huh, sweetheart? maybe you'll listen to me this way". a rough hand spanked the side of your ass, making you cry out.

you pulsed around miguel, his slap making you tense up. the feeling of his fingers against your skin made you feel like you were on fire. miguel panted, his cock beating into the creamy lips of your pussy.

"'member what you said, niñita? said that i'm a cocky asshole that wouldn't know how to handle you even if i tried? what happened to that? what happened to my loud girl? where'd she go?"

the recalling of your words to miguel when you first challenged him to an arm wrestle played in your head. you were so confident then.

couldn't handle me my ass!

"oh, i know where she went". a soft chuckle came from miguel's throat as he grabbed your cheeks and made you look him in the eyes. "she's right here! right in front of me, gettin' her holes filled by her boss' cock". miguel laughed in your face cruelly, drawls the stupid attractive sound out, and shoves his hips forward, his tip reaching your cervix at this point.

a small burst of confidence flowed through you as you gripped the wrist holding your face. "n-not my―"

"what? not your boss?" miguel finished the thought before you can get the words to leave your mouth. he laughed again, the sound making your cunt ache.

he toyed with your breasts, pulling a nipple in his mouth. he suckles on it for a moment, and at that moment you feel the sharp fangs of his you so loved to graze your nipple before he let it go with a 'pop!' coming from his mouth.

"not your boss, but you're letting me have ya' like this? when you know you're perfectly capable to get a one-up on me?" miguel raised an eyebrow at you, stopping his moving hips as soon as he hit the deepest part of your cunt. he bit his lip hard and stared down at you, his hands on both sides of your head.

"think you like getting treated like this. think this is exactly how 'm gonna teach you to be nice t'me". miguel left pushing his hips upwards, his cock hitting your cervix as your cried against his chest.

"maybe if i treat you like a whore 'stead of my little girl, you'll remember the rules".

(1.) niñita ― little girl

(2.) crees que puedes decirme qué hacer? ― do you think you can tell me what to do?

(3.) sido demasiado amable con mi chica ― been too nice to my girl

(4.) es como aprendes ― it's how you learn

(5.) deja de llorar ― stop crying

[just-a-little-unionoid]

babe me ironically telling you that I "sadly can't kill myself like you told me to do because some people care about me" isn't trauma dumping, implying I'm suicidal isn't trauma dumping, telling you "I have plenty of occasions to kill myself" isn't trauma dumping. I live near a train track, a cliff, a tumultuous river, and work with dangerous machines, those are the "occasions". don't use terms you don't understand you're just making yourself looks stupid.

"trauma dumping" would be to tell you (oversharing) about traumatic experiences. which I will not do. but learn the vocab.

again I'm not defending anyone and it's sad that you can't understand that giving some nuance to a situation or even explaining some context isn't "defending", or I guess what you mean is more likely "excusing". context is important, understanding complexity is important, you can't change things if you don't understand why they happen, stop with the black and white mentality. fucking WHY are you even watching the show at this point?

anyway, want honesty? okay, I can do that. it's not even 8am on a non working day, I must admit that reading your message first thing in the morning piss me off, and I've yet to activate my social filters, so that should be easy.

you're right, I do care what you think of me. not that it matters at the end of the day, but it pisses me off that someone can put so much effort into misreading someone, into twisting or ignoring all of their words. I can't even begin to understand how your mind works. why you would hate so much someone you know nothing about. it does actually worry me tho, because I've seen your other posts. you seem to dedicate half of you blog to hating on Alastor specifically, and his fans, picking fight against people who don't care what you think of them if not downright trolls. I care about you, that other person with the Homelander (or whoever the fuck this character is) memes was absolutely trolling you and was delighted by your angry reblogs. gosh how old are you even? (don't answer that) back in my days "don't feed the troll" was common knowledge. stop giving them what they fucking want.

I do honestly care about you. why is it that? because I'm a proud member of a social species and when I see my kin hurting themselves, I find it very unpleasant. also because I tried to emphasize with you so I could get under you skin. I'm stupid so it backfired and now I see you as a person instead of a concept without shape behind a screen. now I can't hate you, the joke's on me.

I've been there, like I said I know anger feels right, but it's also intoxicating. quite literally I mean, anger prepare your body to fight, it releases chemicals, hormones, to do so. it feels great but too much of it will hurt you. I know it's not easy but keep that anger for what you can actually fight. anger is a useful tool but you're misusing it. stop exposing yourself to online content that distress you like that. yes, I know, it's an addictive feeling. stop it anyway.

[this is where I take a pause so I can do things irl, idk what mood I'll be in when I start writing again, so the tone can shift]

you want to have the last word, I want it too, we're kind of in a situation here.

I could just stop responding to you but I don't want to, because I am indeed arrogant and believe I am right, you are wrong, and I want to convince you of my point of view. don't think you're better than me tho, you're also arrogant and think you are right, and me wrong. the main difference being that you're not trying to convince me, you're just getting mad at me. I don't think that makes me better than you but I do think screaming at me is useless. or well again I guess it can let you lose some stream if you need to, I don't really care. but anyway you're not going to convince me without using arguments (again not that I think you're trying to convince me, I'm just pointing at our differences)

my point of view is that having a morally complex character isn't a writing flaw. exploring said characters limites and empathising with them isn't a flaw either. some people use fiction to safely explore subjects that would be dangerous to explore irl. we've done that for literal thousands of years, maybe there is a reason for that, don't you think so?

you won't find characters being punished by death (and it being shown as a good thing, I mean) in Hazbin Hotel. it's a show about redemption and a metaphor for criticizing the prison system (as well as imperialism but that's not really the subject here). I'm sorry but it you expect Alastor (or others) to be killed for their crime it will not happen. will he suffer consequences? I do believe or at least hope so. this guy is an absolute moron who's incredibly bad at dealing with his own emotions and he will hurt others and himself over it, and it will likely come to slap him back in the face at some point, it's pretty much inevitable. but see, this is the difference between consequences and punishment. when you say "consequences" what you actually mean "punishment". you expect the character to suffer because you believe he deserves it, not just because it's the logical consequences of his actions. that's very different. the narrative of Hazbin Hotel (likely, if it stick to its current morality) won't approve of punishment. again it's a show about redemption, about trying to find alternatives to punishment, so it can't present it as an acceptable option.

I'm telling you that because it seems that you decided to keep watching it and I don't want you to get your hope crushed, y'know, prepare yourself for disappointment because what you wish would happen is the polar opposite of the show current morality

I mean like, I can be wrong, I've been wrong about fiction analysis before, I could be wrong again, but think yourself about it, okay? take a few minutes to analyse the show morality and purpose and draw your own conclusions, I'd be happy to hear about them if they end up being different of mines, always useful to get different pov on a subject

as for our emotions, I think that yours are raw. you feel a lot and let yourself feels, that's good but it doesn't mean you're being honest with them. maybe you think you are, and maybe you are indeed, I'm not in your head. but listen. just because you feel a lot doesn't mean you know why you feel so much or that you choose a good target to express it. emotions are just hormones, it's logical, your body (and so all thoughts, emotions or feelings it can produce) is just a complex biological machine and there is no such thing as chance in it. everything that you do, feels or think is the logical result of past and current experiences. but while it's logical it doesn't mean it's rational. us humans are still animals, even if we're able to talk we're not rational beings, we think and feels things by instinct and then we try to rationalize and justify them. that's how it works. most of the time it's bullshit tho, just because we feel something doesn't mean we have a "good" reason to do so. we have reasons, causes for it, but there's no morality behind, "good" and "bad" are concepts created by humain but biology and physics don't give a shit about those concepts. we have to try to follow them but they're not at the core of our decisions, that's what I meant.

so like, idk try to find why you're angry, what exactly makes you angry in what I'm telling you. don't answer "you're excusing the actions of a terrible person/character" again because you already said that multiple time but it doesn't say much. WHY does it makes you angry? (I'll save you some time: the answer is likely that you believe punishment to be an acceptable consequence, and it displease you that I think differently. but don't hesitate to tell me if you think I'm wrong, I actually quite enjoy to question my certitudes) then you have to ask yourself whether or not it is justified. from a moral standpoint I mean. are you right to be angry at me, at my opinion? and finally you can ask yourself if it's useful to be angry at me, like, whether you are right or not, does that change anything? (that's the part where I'm telling you being angry at me doesn't affect me that much, but that can affect you, do your choice)

hum... I think I covered pretty much all I wanted to cover 🤔

oh right! I said I was trying to be honest so there you go:

the reasons I keep talking to you (and caring despite of everything, and notably of what I keep saying) is because 1) like I said I'm arrogant, think I'm right and want to prove you wrong, but also 2) because I like conflict, it makes my brain happy because it force me to think of arguments, of how I should build my sentences, and there's probably also the part where English isn't my main language so it demands a little more efforts too. in resume, I crave stimulation and this exchange provide that, speaking of which 3) I'm desperate for human connection, I don't care if it's a positive interaction or not, I just fucking need to connect to other people, I'm aware that it's quite pathetic but you more or less asked for me to be honest so that's on you 🤷

yeah yeah I'm an arrogant bastard, I know, you keep telling me

I’m afraid he’s contracting babygirl disease :(

[rose-coloured-prince]

The Shadows Will Never Find You

Pre-romantic Prinxiety, Fantasy Au

Word Count: 1,756

Warnings: Fighting, Blood, Violence, Kidnapping, War(?), Knife/Weapons, Fainting, Campfire ment,

Summary: Virgil protects Roman from everyone who's out to get to the prince.

-

The crackling of the fire and the soft rustle of the leaves had lulled Roman to sleep which was good on Virgil's anxiety. He carded his fingers through Roman's curls as his head rested in his lap.

Virgil was tired too but he's keeping lookout. They can't get to him. He's gotta make sure they don't get to him.

Roman doesn't deserve this. He deserves to be back home, dressed all pretty, and painting or singing or whatever things he did while Virgil watched from afar, not running for his life, exhausted, covered in sweat and dirt.

Not to mention the fact that he feels so guilty. He knew that Evercrest would be attacked like this. Well, he didn't know but he had heard. He could've said something and he didn't. He didn't say a fucking word. He got Roman away in time. That's all that matters. Roman's safe...

Virgil immediately felt the lack of weight on his legs and warmth by his side and his eyes snapped open just in time to see Roman struggling to get out of someone's grip, a yelp barely escaping his lips before being covered by hand. He was looking right at Virgil utterly terrified.

"Shit." Virgil jumped up quickly, chasing after him.

He fell asleep! He fucking fell asleep and it got Roman in trouble! Fucking hell, Virgil.

He noticed there were a few others in the dark with the person who had taken Roman. Virgil stopped running to put both of his hands out and have the area around Virgil and the people who've taken Roman sealed and it glowed and faded to show that the spell had been cast. They cursed.

"Put him down!" Virgil growled, his hands still held out. They turned to him and Virgil could see that Roman was still fearfully squirming to get away. "I mean it."

The guy holding the runaway prince laughed. A smaller person to his left pulled out a knife and held it to Roman's throat.

Virgil didn't flinch. They wouldn't kill him.

"How about you let us go and the prince lives?" He can hear the grin just off of their words even if he can't see it in the dark behind their mask.

"You and I both know you need him alive." Out of the corner of his eye he sees the lady to the right of the guy holding Roman make a hand motion off into the distance. He didn't pay too much mind to it as he was too focused on Roman.

They huffed, "Fine. You're right. ... We don't need him to speak though." They slowly slice the knife against Roman's skin and Roman screams behind the guy's hand.

"Wait! Stop!" Virgil yells frantically and they do. He's gotta figure out something... something... something...

"He's a person! Not an object or a machine. You guys have to have better morality than to try and use him the way that you want."

The guy holding Roman scoffs, "Says the magic user who ran away with him."

Virgil watched the body collapse to the floor and huffed from the exhaustion of fighting.

"...You're a magic user?" His voice came out hushed and alarmed.

Damn. He turned back to Roman. "Listen, I-"

Roman stepped away from him. "No. You lied to me. You're a magic user!"

"I'm sorry. Please listen to me." Virgil tried to come closer to Roman.

"No! Get away from me! I don't trust you anymore!"

"I promise I wouldn't hurt you!" Virgil pleaded. "I swear I'm just trying to protect you. I... I lied cause I didn't want you to think I was one of the magic users I said would try and get you."

"That's exactly what one of them would say isn't it? Oh my gods. I'm so stupid." He turned away.

It's fine. He knows Roman trusts him now. He doesn't need to worry about that. Just get him back.

Virgil opens his mouth to say something when the force field flickered. He looked back at the girl to the right who was staring back at him, scared that she'd been caught trying to break it.

She shot a flash of light toward Virgil and broke the force field while Virgil was distracted, dealing with that.

"Go!" She shouted and they took off again. Virgil was right back to chasing them.

Virgil threw his hand out, having the roots of a tree trip the girl down. That'll keep her down for a bit.

He pushed his hands out and a gust of wind rushes forward pushing the guy holding Roman over which caused Roman to fall out of his grasp. Roman was disoriented trying to get up and away. The other kidnapper next to him only tripped up a little bit. However, he saw that Roman had gotten loose and then glanced back at Virgil. He, then, lunged out to grab Roman pulling him along.

Roman tries to pull himself away from them, yelling for Virgil to come get him.

Virgil caught up to them, grabbing on to the person's wrist where they were holding Roman. They pulled out their knife again and Virgil placed his hand over theirs on the handle of the knife.

"Let. Him. Go."  He let his hand heat up hotter and hotter til they were shouting.

"Okay! Okay!" They let go of both the prince and the knife.

Virgil stepped away from them, shielding away Roman.

Roman tugged on Virgil's shirt. Behind them the other two had come back.

Virgil is exhausted. "Just leave us alone!" He yells.

The girl whistled and a few moments later someone dropped in seemingly from the trees and another person dropped in on the other side of them. Another person came up and another.

Virgil looked around, standing back to back with Roman. There's no way that he can take on their entire group. They're so fucked.

Roman grabs Virgil's hand in fear looking for some semblance of comfort, whispering for Virgil to get them out of this. Then the people in front of Roman stepped back, much to Roman's confusion. His irises began to glow this golden white and then Virgil's eyes followed.

"I don't get it? Why do they want me? Why risk all this?" Roman asks, while they're resting on the first night after Virgil helped him get away from... everyone who was attacking Evercrest.

"You're like an untapped source. They call it Potential. Whatever it is inside you, it's like magic you can't access but everyone else can. Mundane people too but especially magic users. And it's like a huge boost in just raw power. Power hungry magic users are going to be after you like insane but those people are rotten inside."

Roman shook his head like he couldn't wrap his head around it. "...Are you a magic user?"

Virgil froze for a second. "...No. But even still, I'm not after that from you. It's more important to me that they don't... fucking kill you trying to use you."

"Why? You don't even know me?"

"... Let's just say, I'm just a really good person and leave it at that."

Virgil instantly felt that power. He was way more alert and aware of his surroundings. He felt energy just surging through him.

The people around them got scared and that made one of them throw the first blow.

Then the battle broke out and Virgil was managing to keep Roman from being hit even with him standing in the middle of it all.

Then it ended. Just as quick.

It was like Roman blinked and everyone surrounding them ready to fight was on the ground in an instant and Virgil...

Roman looked back to Virgil who was swaying and out of breath. He watched the white glow of his eyes fade to dark brown and then Virgil collapsed and Roman's heart dropped.

"How do people even know I have this Potential?"

Virgil shrugged, "It got out. I don't know how he found out but I think your Royal Mage told someone who told someone who told someone and... yeah."

Roman groaned, throwing himself back to lay on the blanket. "Why me? Why am I the only thing with Potential?"

"I don't know the history behind it really but Potential is a divine thing. There were a group of people a long time ago who had it as well and... Well you see all they're doing to get a hold of just you. We thought no one else held Potential anymore and no one else would."

Roman looked up at Virgil, wide-eyed.

"Shit. Look. I mean what I said. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Roman quickly pushed himself back up and hugged Virgil tightly. "I appreciate it. I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't come along."

Virgil tensed at first before hesitantly wrapping his arms around Roman.

"...Of course. I'm just doing what I can."

Virgil blinked open his eyes, staring up at the trees and their rustling leaves and hearing the campfire crackling and—

Virgil sits up.

Roman looks over, from picking at his clothes and tending the fire, at Virgil, concerned. "Hey... How are you feeling?"

"What the hell happened?" Virgil asked, looking around frantically trying to gather himself. They're... back at where they set up camp? Roman had bandaged his neck up himself.

"You fought those guys and then passed out. I have never seen you do anything like that. You were taking them out like flies, like it wasn't anything." Roman recalled. "I brought you back here when you fainted."

Virgil nodded as he listened. His memory is a bit foggy but that sounds somewhat accurate. He's just glad Roman's safe. He looks up to ask about Roman's neck when he cuts him off.

"Did... I do that?"

"What?"

"You got Potential from me and you– you were able to do that?"

Oh. That makes sense.

"Yeah. I think so."

Roman's silent.

"Yeah. I see why people are trying to get that from me." He brought his knees to his chest.

"No one's getting anything from you. Not unless you allow it. We're going to get you to your parent's safe house and everything's going to be okay." Virgil says, trying to reassure him. It's all terrifying.

Roman looks up at Virgil and smiles a little. He moves over closer to him. "I guess, I'll be okay—" He wraps his arms around Virgil and Virgil follows. "—as long as you're here."

Virgil hums in acknowledgement.

The prince falls asleep again.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Church (Choi San) Rated

Pairing: Choi San × Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, College AU, Friends to Enemies(?), Enemies to Lovers (?)

Summary: He used to be her best friend until he abandoned not only his childhood beliefs, but her in the process. One night, he decides to show her a glimpse of what she's been missing out on. Inspired by Chase Atlantic's Church .

Word Count: 6.3+K

Warnings: Mentions of religious beliefs, brazen college parties, allusions to alcohol/nicotine intake, body insecurity (reader has small breasts), oral (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, body worship/praise, slight cumplay, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (always use protection), slight corruption kink, inexperienced reader, experienced San. (Probably forgot something)

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @yunhoiseyecandy @yunhofingers @galaxteez @brie02 @deja-vux @a-soft-hornytiny @multidreams-and-desires @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie

╬╬═════════════╬╬

The infamous rebel let out a pernicious snicker when he saw the serene and usually proper former acquaintance walk in his direction.

"Are my eyes deceiving me or is that really the pastor's prissy little daughter out past her bedtime in a college party?" He found the situation much too amusing that he just had to point it out.

"I have a name you know." The female he was referring to halted in her steps to turn her head and give him an unkind and unfriendly look.

"You have several, actually. There's goody two shoes, priss, prude, prig-"

"Oh shut the fuck up Choi San." She scoffed as she began walking away from him, already feeling annoyed by his presence.

The man trailed after her, his face donning a shocked expression as he flailed his arms around in a dramatic way.

"Guys it's happening! The apocalypse is really here if L/N Y/N has not only attended a wild party full of debauchery, but her mouth has actually uttered out cursed words!" He shouted out, the other attendants either joining in laughing at her or ignoring him in favor of the bottles or sticks in their fingers.

"I'm surprised you even know what that word means." She turned to look at him with a mocking smile, arms crossed over her chest.

"Please, I know a lot more than you have ever pretended to know." He clicked his tongue, elbow coming up to rest on the wall next to him.

"Is that why you turnt corrupt and abandoned everything you believe in?" She couldn't help but spat back at him.

"Hey at least I was honest and didn't hide it like you people who lead double lives. Preaching one thing but living the total opposite. You're all nothing but a bunch of hypocrites." The venom in his voice was unmistakable, nose scrunching up in disgust as he remembered gross sins he had more often than not had witnessed from people who claimed to be pure and holy.

"I do not lead a double life." She remarked.

"Oh really? Then why the hell are you here in a college party? Full of alcohol, drugs and walking STDs? Riddle me that princess." His foot tapped against the floor, patiently awaiting an answer from her.

Y/N swallowed the non existent lump in her throat and turned her gaze to the floor in embarrassment.

"I just wanted to see what it was like. Just once." She admitted begrudgingly, the man in front of her chuckling lowly.

"Well you sure are going to have a lot to confess on Sunday to your dad. Silly girl, walking into the lion's pit like this." He jeered at her.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Just because I came here doesn't mean I've done anything morally wrong." She counteracted his words to which he only snorted.

"Yet."

Tired of his overly obnoxious attitude, Y/N spun on her heel to get away from him, but she spun so carelessly and fast that she ended up bumping into another classmate who unfortunately was holding a full cup of beer that ended up being doused all over her white blouse.

"Oops! Sorry, my bad." He excused himself, looking completely unapologetic about the situation.

Meanwhile Y/N looked absolutely horrified as she took in the drenched state of her shirt that now had the stench of alcohol on it. The fact San was bursting out in giggles only served to make her even more mad.

"Now tell me how do you plan on explaining that to dear old-"

"Can it San or I swear I'll gauge your eyes out." She threatened him as she stormed out the building, not caring that she bumped into a few figures on her way out.

Feeling just a bit of empathy for his old friend, San sighed softly before following after her. Upon catching up to her, he took hold of her wrist and started dragging her in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Get your filthy hands off me! I will not hesitate to scream!" She tried tugging her arm away.

"Calm down I'm not planning on kidnapping or anything like that sweetheart. I'm taking you back to my car."

She let out a dry laugh at that.

"But that's not kidnapping?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I have a spare shirt in the backseat that you can change into. Unless you wanna go home smelling like PBR." He looked back to see the mess one more time, lips curling up into a smirk.

Against her better judgment, she allowed him to take her all the way where his car was parked, standing there quietly as San rummaged through the backseat before taking out a clean plain white tshirt and held it out to her.

"Here. Put it on."

She looked at him with a face that asked if he was stupid.

"Well what?" He asked.

"Oh yes..I'm totally going to strip in a middle of the street and let anyone passing by see." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh for fuck's sake, there's nobody here, nobody is going to see and frankly I don't think anyone cares about seeing your non existent boobs." He scorned at her as he gestured to her chest.

"Ok rude and uncalled for." She felt slightly hurt by his comment, having always been somewhat insecure about the size of her chest.

"Don't look." She warned him.

"Not like I want to." He jeered at her as he turned away to not only give her privacy, but to also serve as a lookout for anyone that might accidentally show up and see the scene. He could hear her behind him tearing off her clothes and then slipping it back on.

"Ok there. I'm done." Y/N announced as she stuffed the soiled shirt into her bag.

"Not even a thank you?" San pouted slightly, to which Y/N gave a feigned smile.

"Thanks."

With that said and done, she brushed past him and started walking away, absolutely done with the night.

"Careful not to get caught sneaking back inside your house." She heard San say from behind.

"For your information I'm not living with them anymore. I moved into the dorms 2 months ago." She stated in a matter of factly, a proud look on her face.

"Well in that case....want to ride back with me?" He offered.

"Yeah no, I'd rather take my chances at being kidnapped and then butchered up. Besides, I wouldn't want to cut your wild night short." She declined the offer.

"Stop being so negative Nancy and accept my generosity. Geez."

Running over to her, he quickly snatched her up and threw her over his shoulder, ignoring her shocked exclaims and protests.

"Now this is really kidnapping!" She declared.

"Yeah I know, now shut up before I duct tape that bratty mouth of yours." San grinned mischievously as he tossed her into the backseat and shut the door before striding over to get on the driver's seat.

"Oh come on. Stop looking at me like I'm a criminal. Just because I indulge in a few sins every now and then, doesn't make me into a bad person." He stated when he saw the dirty look she gave him.

"Whatever." She muttered as she locked in her seatbelt.

San opted for just driving back to the dorms and get Y/N tucked in her bed since it was clear to him she needed it.

╬╬═════════════╬╬

"You're lucky my roommate is on vacation, otherwise I would have left your ass back there." Y/N spewed out as she threw her keys onto her dresser.

"Thanks Y/N, I always said you were the nicest and most giving person in the planet." San complimented her as he felt he should given she was letting him stay the night in her dorm after a little tiny incident with his keys dropping inside one of the manholes surrounding the university. And the administration office wouldn't be open til the morning, meaning he was screwed unless his roommate showed up to let him in, but that was a definite no since San knew Seonghwa would definitely end up in someone else's bed and come back til the next day, hickeys plastered all over his neck and chest.

"No, you always said I was the most stuck up-"

San shushed her by pressing a hand over her mouth.

"You dwell so much on the present image of me you drew up in your head that you completely erased the friend you had all those years ago." He slid his hand off her mouth, shoulders slumping down as he turned away from her to crouch on the floor.

"That friend doesn't exist anymore, that is if he even existed in the first place. If I recall, my friend wasn't into parties, booze, vaping, tattoos, piercings and fucking around with every whore in the school."

San didn't say anything as he heard her ramble, he just let her talk away as she started pulling out spare blankets and pillows for him to use.

"My Sannie was sweet, cute, adorable, always ready to lend people help and respectful to others." She reminisced with a sad look. Pulling her expression straight, she laid out the blankets and started arranging them neatly on the floor.

"I still am."

San's voice was so quiet that she barely registered that he even opened his mouth in the first place, but she heard him.

"Maybe if you weren't so puffed up with pride and didn't cut me off after I cut ties with the church, you'd see that I'm still the way I was. You think I changed completely because of ink and metal on my body? Because I wanted to try certain substances and yes, satisfy some perfectly normal and humane needs?"

Y/N averted her gaze from him and continued the task she was in. San let out a despondent scoff.

"Of course you do. And yet didn't I just demonstrate to you back there that I haven't changed? Giving you my shirt, giving you a ride, yeah I know, it's not much and no big deal, but wasn't those the types of things I'd do even back then?"

Y/N's tongue poked against her cheek as she knew she couldn't deny that was San said was absolutely true. He did nothing different back at the party as he used to do years ago. Helping old ladies with grocery bags, giving away some of his clothes to less fortunate kids, he was always known as being such a giving and kind person.....

No wonder so many were devastated when it was announced he had resigned as a member of the church. Y/N herself was hurt and even indignated by his decision. And after that she adamantly refused to see him or talk to him, and of course San respected her decision and avoided contacting her so as to not make her uncomfortable. He understood that their friendship was broken and he wasn't going to overstep boundaries just to try and fix it when the other party didn't want it. So he just decided to live his life as he thought was right without his conscience bothering him. And he was much happier now, he felt free, something that he had never felt before. Perhaps he was so chained down by formality, discipline, strict regulations and even fear that he didn't realize that he was miserable all that time until his eyes were fully open and he found he didn't like what he saw, especially after seeing the dark and ugly side of what was supposed to be a safe and pure sanctuary. He was let down severely and he suffered in the process. But now that was behind him and he had no regrets......

Except Y/N. He truly missed her and her company. As he laid on the makeshift bed on the floor, he found himself unable to sleep as he recalled all those fond times spent with her. The trips to the lake, hiking, first day of school, their first accident after he had gotten his driver's license. He let out an involuntary smile at that memory. Unbeknownst to him, the girl on her bed was equally reminiscing on the old days filled with her best friend. She had been so alone ever since she distanced herself from him, the world now feeling empty and cold without him. Shifting around in her bed, she whined into her pillow as she desperate tried to sleep.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done?" Her question startled San momentarily.

"Are you that sleep deprived that you're suddenly asking me to confess my worst sins?" He chuckled amusedly.

"Maybe it'll help me get actual sleep, I don't know. And.... I'm just curious." She clutched one of her plushies and started messing around with it.

"Curiosity killed the cat and I don't think your virgin mind will be able to handle my confession." He asserted confidently.

"I'm not a virgin, but oh well. Just tell me, what's the worst?" Her casual response made San flip out. He sat upright and kneeled at the front of her bed with an incredulous look.

"What do you mean you're not a virgin? When did you-?" He was so flabbergasted he wouldn't even finish his sentence.

Rolling over to where he was, Y/N smirked at him.

"Uh uh. I asked you a question first and you have to answer it before I can answer any you want."

Knowing he had no alternative, San placed his chin on the top of her mattress.

"Had a threesome with 2 of our professors." He laughed when he saw how shocked Y/N looked.

"What?! No way!" She refused to believe him.

"It's true. I won't tell you who they were since you won't be able to look at them the same way if I did...... I'll just dish this: they both got really huge tits and it's a shame they're married." He admitted with a smug expression.

"I can't believe you." She fanned her face which she was sure was now a deep crimson color.

"Ok now your turn. When did this happen? Who was it with?"

Y/N didn't even mind that San got up and crawled into her bed to lay down next to her. His face was rested on his hands as he looked at her with intense inquisitiveness. Knowing she'd have to talk about it sooner or later, she thought it would be best if San was the one to know since he would never tell anyone else and he'd understand since he was tainted as well.

"Remember when that group of missionaries came to stay over at our city for a while back in high school?"

San nodded, vividly remembering everything. Y/N blushed and smiled shyly.

"Do you remember that there was a family with a son our age? Chase?"

San widened his eyes and flopped over on his back as his hands came to hide his face.

"Oh dear lord, please don't tell me it was that Canadian boy." He groaned in pain.

"Yeah....yeah it was."

San couldn't stop cringing at the thought of his friend doing such a thing.

"How even did that happen?" He was so lost.

"I don't know! It just did ok? It happened while we were out in that camping trip. Somewhere there, we were left alone and we started talking about everything and nothing til it spiraled into talking about sex and us being virgins decided to see what was the big deal....." She bit her lower lip as the memory flashed in her mind. Looking over at San, she knew he was judging her as she expected. A tiny snort escaped his lips.

"That must have been the worst 45 seconds of your life." He joked, earning him a slap on his chest by Y/N's hand.

"It was not 45 seconds!............. it was 2 minutes."

San only laughed harder at that, nearly crying from how funny it was to him. He composed himself though when he saw how embarrassed Y/N looked about it. Feeling bad for laughing at her expense, he cleared his throat and patted her head.

"It's ok. First times are always awkward and uncomfortable. The problem was you weren't prepared and you were both inexperienced. He just didn't know how to please you."

Y/N couldn't help herself as she asked:

"And I suppose you can?"

Flipping onto his stomach, San cupped her chin with his hand and ran his thumb across her lower lip.

"Don't tread on dangerous territory little angel lest you want an evil demon to corrupt you." He warned her, and although he wouldn't actually follow through on it, he did want to tease her a little. But he wasn't expecting for Y/N to play along to his teasing, only she was not joking at all as she brought her face closer to his.

"Maybe I want you to corrupt me, show me what I've been missing out on." She brushed her lips against his, tongue daring to poke out and press on his slit briefly, leaving him stunned.

"You have no idea what you're asking for princess." San mused as he held himself back from touching her.

"I know what I'm asking for Choi San and what I'm asking for....is you." She responded with confidence.

Escaping from underneath the blanket that covered her, Y/N reclined back on the mattress, her head laying on her soft pillow as she gestured for San to come over to her, which he promptly did. Parting her legs so he could fit his body between them, he smirked softly down at her eagerness, fingers brushing against the soft skin on her thighs.

"You're serious about this?" He wanted to make sure it wouldn't be something she'd regret.

"I already messed up once, what's one more time gonna do?" She pulled him down against her, not caring when he lost balance and accidentally crushed her under him with his muscular body.

"Besides...." Wanting to further entice him, Y/N brushed her lips against his ear.

"Look at me and tell me you don't want to fuck me. That you don't want to stuff that hard cock of yours into my tight and inexperienced pussy. Bet you're itching to tear into me until I'm crying under you. Don't you want that?"

San let out a moan at hearing such filthy and depraved talk from her. It only fueled his appetite and hunger for indulging in carnal desires.

"Yes... I want that.... I want you."

Closing space between them, San molded his lips over hers, encasing them in a sloppy and wet kiss. Y/N could faintly make out the leftover scent of alcohol and nicotine as she let him taste her mouth, but she didn't mind or felt grossed out by it. She just kept her lips parted and allowed him to move his tongue freely inside her. Cupping her cheeks, San continued to roll his tongue over hers, massaging it gently with both deep yet gentle strokes. When he pulled away, he made sure to tuck her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it towards him as Y/N let out a moan that was like music to his ears. Pausing briefly, their lips were barely touching as they breathed in each other's air. San was the first one to break into a smile, the one that had Y/N melting since it displayed his dimples to the fullest.

"Never thought I'd hear that sound come out of your pretty mouth." He teased her.

"S-shut up." She frowned, hand reaching up to smack his chest.

"It's not a bad thing. I like it. Now let's see if I can make sure you keep them up."

Stuffing his face into her neck, San ghosted his lips across her skin, tongue subtly poking out solely to hear her breath hitch slightly. Dipping his tongue into her collarbone, his lips opened up so they could firmly latch and spread wet kisses across her neck. Y/N gasped when she felt teeth sink down, head tilting back to give San more room which he took advantage of. Focusing on particular spots that he knew she was sensitive in, he sucked her skin into his mouth. Each time he pulled away, he reveled when he saw the finished mark that was now painted on her skin.

"I would love to see your parent's reaction to my love bites." He brushed a fingers across the newest spot he just embedded in her body, hand then reaching up to suddenly clasp around her neck. Y/N shuddered when his grip got tighter, her oxygen intake getting cut and making her feel hazy, but it was nonetheless enjoyable. Snaking a hand under her shirt, or more like his shirt, San swiped his tongue over his bottom lip as he started to pull the material up.

"How about I make some matching ones all across your pretty chest?"

Before he could lift the shirt any further, Y/N's hand clasped around his wrist, preventing him from moving any further.

"Don't." She begged him.

San retracted his hands away from her, fearing he made her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." He immediately apologized and began to move away from her, but Y/N's hands raked against his thighs to keep him in place.

"No, it's not you. It's just..... if we're going to do this, can I keep the shirt on? I don't...." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she admitted an insecurity of hers.

"I don't like my chest. My boobs are too small, it's unflattering and I'd rather you not see them." She slowly opened her eyes to see his reaction. San had a sad look on his face, bottom lip poking out as his fingers came up to brush against her cheek. Remembering what he had previously said back in the parking loyal, he felt terrible for saying that ill intended joke about her body. He probably hurt her and he didn't realize it.

"Y/N don't say that. Your chest size doesn't matter. You're beautiful the way you are and I bet underneath that layer is clothing there is the cutest and most adorable set of boobs in the world." She let out an involuntary giggle at his words, letting him run his hand down her clothed sternum.

"But if that's what you want, I'll respect it. Either way, my tshirt looks amazing on you." He acknowledged rather cockily.

Shifting further back, San took hold of the top of her shorts, making sure to look at her.

"Are you ok with these coming off?"

Y/N resisted the temptation to slap the top of his head.

"If you don't take them off, how are you going to fuck me genius?" She retorted.

"You'd be surprised at what I've learned." He uttered, mostly to himself than at her.

Like an expert, he practically tore her shorts down her legs, panties falling to the floor along with them. Y/N let out a soft squeal when he took hold of her thighs and brought her down so his face was at eye level with her most intimate part. San took a few seconds to admire her bare mound, lips parted and threatening to start drooling all over her thighs. Pressing both thumbs against each one is her lips, San pried her folds open, staring intently as he now clearly saw all of her.

"Oh fuck. I'm gonna need to prep you real good. I can tell you're going to be really tight."

She wanted to ask him what he meant by prep, but her words got caught in her throat when she felt his tongue delve into her core. She had never felt someone's mouth anywhere near her folds and she regretted not having experienced it before. Her eyes shut tight as she marveled at the sensation of San's tongue lapping at her bud, his lips making sure to enclose all around the flesh surrounding it before giving it gentle suckles. Shaky breaths blew out from her mouth, her legs wanting to close themselves around San's head but his firm grip on her thighs kept it from happening. He kept her knees pinned to the bed as his mouth continued to ravish at her taste, sloppily consuming her heat fervently. Her mind was so occupied in what he was doing that she didn't register the hand that slowly crept away from her thigh until she felt something poke at her entrance.

"Oh-" She gasped, opening her eyes to see what was going on.

"Relax princess. It's just my finger.....for now." He momentarily pulled off her heat to let her know what was happening before diving back in to continue his task of eating her out.

His finger inside her felt a little weird at first, sliding in slowly before pulling out only to plunge itself back into her. During one of those times where she expected him to slide back in, she was surprised when she felt herself being stretched out as San curled a second finger inside her. Keeping them lodged there, he began scissoring them alternatively so he could further spread her walls apart. During one of those movements, his fingertips brushed along her hood, making her hips slightly jolt up into San's face, who smiled against her folds as he now knew exactly where to angle his hips for later. Using this new knowledge, that was probably unbeknownst to Y/N, he slipped his fingers deeper into her, knuckles deep as he moved his tips rhythmically on the the spot he found. Y/N's mouth fell wide open into an 'O' as whiny gasps and airy moans poured out of it. San's mouth latched to her clit and his fingers working deep in her hole was producing a stirring in the lower pit of her stomach that she couldn't quite make out. But it felt good, especially since it continued to grow more and more, almost as if it was a cord about to snap.

"San- wait. I feel, I feel-" She couldn't finish her sentence as her body trembled slightly, a flood of overwhelming pleasure washing over her that was prolonged by San drinking up the juices that spilled forth out of her body. He didn't pull away until he made sure to swallow every drop she had to give.

"Aren't you grossed out?" She asked him, always having wondered about that.

"Nope. I love licking girl's pussies, especially if they're as sweet as yours." He affirmed while pulling his shirt off his body.

Y/N turned her flustered face away from him, keeping her gaze locked on the wall to her right, which was decorated with several polaroids of her with her family, friends and members of her church, some of them even had San in them, back when they were inseparable. Before she could become nostalgic, a strong set of hands clutched her chin and teared her gaze away from the pictures, forcing her to stare at the now naked man in front of her.

"Forget about that for now. Right now I want your full attention on me and what we're about to do. After we're done, that image of a good girl you have will gone." His words seemed to almost taunt her.

Although she tried not to look, Y/N's eyes fell in between San's legs, filled with astonishment when she glimpsed for the very first time at her former friend's member, fully erect and leaking at the tip as it awaited to be hugged by her warm walls.

"Like it? Maybe later I'll let you play with it." San giggled when her eyes shot up at him in surprise.

Placing himself to hover above her, he hummed lowly as he slowly stuffed himself inside her, working her open until he was fully nestled inside her warmth. Although she felt a light burn scraping against her inner walls, it wasn't unpleasant or painful like her first time. She could tell San knew exactly what he was doing as he began rolling his hips. Perfectly recalling exactly where to aim at, he made sure to angle his thrusts accordingly so each time he pushed back in, he'd hit her pleasure spot.

"Oh God-" Y/N exclaimed when he continued to brushed against the hood of her core.

"Really think it's a good idea to call out the good lord's name when I'm balls deep inside your pussy?" He asked with a malicious smirk plastered across his face.

"No baby. Tonight your only lord is me."

Pinning her wrists above her head, San continued pushing his cock deeper into her. The harsh pounding of his hips against hers was becoming louder, their bodies starting to get heated and producing sweat. Y/N couldn't do anything but whimper and wrap her legs around San's waist, keeping him firmly locked to her body. She closed her eyes once more as she felt the same familiar feeling from before start piling up, only it felt more intense and stronger probably due to the fact that she was getting railed to her bed by her ex best friend, whom she still cared about deeply. She was definitely not planning on making up with him this way, but holy hell, she couldn't deny that he was making her feel so many emotions at once. Pleasure, lust, satisfaction, happiness, euphoria, love? Perhaps that last one was definitely a stretch, but she blamed her confused thoughts on how well his cock was abusing her hole. She felt unable to focus on anything except him.

"Clenching so hard around me babygirl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock?"

Slipping one hand in between their bodies, San pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it back and forth so it would serve as an extra push to tip her over the edge. Y/N splayed her hands on San's lower back, nails raking against his skin, causing him to hiss.

"Fuck- am I seriously making you feel that good babygirl?" He knew for a fact he was feeling absolutely amazing, her tight warmth gripping along his shaft, making it hard for him to hold back much longer.

"Mmm yeah." She shamelessly moaned.

"Am I better than your first?" Although he already knew the answer, he still wanted to feed his ego and hear her say it.

"So much better! It feels so fucking good." She inhaled sharply when that she began to feel the sensation from before. With even louder cries from before, her body shook underneath San's, blood rushing to her head as an even greater orgasm coursed through her body. She was left speechless, a full on panting mess even after San had pulled out of her after helping her ride out her high.

"Oh geez. Shit." San's voice rasped out as he jerked himself off, his cum painting her thighs white, not stopping until he had finished coating them with everything he had to give.

Looking down at the mess, Y/N couldn't suppress a tiny giggle, one of her hands clasping over her mouth while the other picked up some of his cum and spread it between her fingers.

"Having fun there?" San grinned, finding her fascinated gaze to be completely adorable to him.

"Yeah.." She said as sat up to get a better look at the cum around her thighs.

"Well I was going to clean it off you, but seeing as you're so entertained by it, I'll just leave you with it."

Not forgetting that he was merely a guest, San slid himself off her bed and plopped his tired body onto the blankets on the floor. Closing his eyes, he was thinking he would finally be able to sleep, but he found his plans thwarted when he felt a pair of hands graze across his chest. Looking up, he found Y/N straddling his lap, biting down on her lower lip as she grinded her wet folds along his softened dick which was now becoming hard again thanks to her.

"What in the world are you doing you crazy girl?" He sucked in a breath, not expecting her to suddenly pounce on him.

"I wanna try that again." She pleaded, grinding her hips harder on him.

"Oh my- did I accidentally turn you into a nymphomaniac?" She chuckled at his joke and although he groaned as if he was frustrated, he obliged to her wishes and sat up.

Clasping her waist with his hands, he lifted her up and guided her so she could easily sink herself down on his length. Not letting go, he slowly rolled his hips up, burying himself deep in her body once more. Since they were both still riled up from their previous session, it didn't take long for both of them to start spewing out a clutter of moans and grunts as they once again get lost in a mist of lust that clouded their minds. San drunk up every expression on Y/N's face. Every twitch of her facial muscles, every shuddering breath she exhaled, each time her eyelids shut close, he marveled at seeing her enjoy the experience. He loved seeing her indulge in such an intimate practice with him, more so given how special she was to him, one of the most important people in his life aside from his family. Looking down at her torso, his fingers brushed along the hem of her shirt.

"Please...." His urging caught her attention.

"Please let me see all of you. I want to admire every inch of you and your beautiful body. I promise I won't laugh or judge. I just want to worship you."

Y/N hesitated briefly, still afraid to let him see what was hidden under the shirt.

"It's ok if you don't want to. I won't force you." He shot a kind smile at her as he focused back on making sure to drive his cock up into her.

Feeling safe and knowing she could trust her lifelong friend whom she thought of as a soulmate at one point, Y/N reached for the bottom of her shirt and peeled it off her body. Coming face to face with her bare chest, San groaned in ecstasy as he slid his hands up her body.

"Just as I predicted, you have very cute breasts."

Pulling her chest to his face, he opened his mouth and took one of her nipples in it, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. Y/N's fingers raked themselves through his hair, harshly tugging them when she felt his teeth sink themselves into her flesh.

"Aren't they too small?" She inquired.

Letting go of her breast with an audible pop, San cupped her chin.

"No baby, they're absolutely perfect. They're gorgeous, just like every other part of your body. You're gorgeous, absolutely stunning and holy fuck, you're driving me insane honestly." He confessed, his mouth diving into her other breast so it wouldn't feel left out from being tenderly kissed and sucked on.

His words sunk deep in Y/N's heart. He really did found her beautiful, attractive and it spurred something in her. Feeling a newfound passion, Y/N unconsciously began taking over their movements. Pushing against his thrusts, she began to set her own pace, rutting herself on top of his dick. San of course took notice and was happy about it.

"Oh wanna take over now baby? Well go ahead."

Laying back down on the floor, his eyes stared up at her with lust.

"Fuck yourself on me darling."

Encouraged by him, Y/N began bouncing herself on his cock. Finding an angle that she liked, she sunk down on his length over and over, her head thrown back as she used his body to push her down another spiral of immense pleasure. San just relaxed and admired the way she lost herself and gave into her deepest desires. He loved the way she rode his cock, and he loved feeling her walls tighten once more around his shaft.

"Oh shit- Sannie." She cried out his name as she quivered on top of him, her juices spilling out onto his cock once more.

Knowing fully well she was probably aching between her thighs, San gripped her hips and helped her ride out her climax so the feeling she was going through wouldn't go away just yet. He made sure to be gentle, easing her up and down his cock with absolute tenderness. Once he knew she was satisfied, he pulled her of him and set her down on the floor before sitting up above her body. Just like before, he took hold of his cock and began pumping his cum out of his body, plastering it all across her inner thighs and even splattering some on her stomach. Looking up, Y/N had the same giggly expression as before.

"Does my cum really make you burst into a fit of giggles?" He questioned her.

"I can't help it. It's just... I don't know. Maybe it's the fact it's so dirty and wrong, and then to have you spread it all over my body." She explained, which made San chuckle.

"Maybe I should baptize your thighs with my cum more often." Although he was joking, Y/N was more than willing to take him up on that offer.

"Will you?" She looked up at him with puppy eyes.

San studied her for a moment, before a wicked idea popped in his brain.

"How about you let me baptize and stain that pretty face of yours?"

Getting a hint of what he meant, Y/N got up on her knees while San stood up right in front of her, cock in hand as he brought it up to her lips.

"I hope you weren't planning on going to morning services tomorrow because I'm going to keep you up til morning until your knees hurt."

[cultofthepigeon]

like wernicke might have been a good person at some point. we dont know. we will never know. because the majority if not the entirety of his life has been defined by having to supress and hide parts of himself and by having to make deal after deal after fucking deal with the devil.

he survived nazi germany as a gay man (and possibly disabled man) by agreeing to work with the fuckin reich. he saw and did horrible things. but there was a time at least once where he got to watch those fuckers burn under the weight of their own stupidity and hubris

it didnt change anything. but it was there.

and then the war is over. he is paperclipped because there is no other option. men in suits with clean haircuts and fingernails and more money than god telling him he can stay in germany and serve out the rest of his fucking sentence in the camps before facing a tribunal at neuremberg. or he can help fight on the side of Truth Justice and The American Way (tm). And he has only been a creature of survival for so long now he doesnt stop. he takes the deal. he survives.

he comes to america and does the same if not worse shit he did in germany.

he watches Alan Turing, a war hero and a man far better than him, be turned away from the country that so willingly accepted himself. he hears about Turing's conviction, his "probation", and then his suicide.

whatever was between them was just as ephemeral and insignificant as whatever he summoned in the camsp. it was there. but it didnt change anything.

and wernicke keeps surviving

he has become a maker of nightmares and nothing else. everything else he coulda been, everyone else he coulda become, is ripped from possibility. and maybe a part of him thinks back to the glorious self destruction of those fools and germany and maybe he hopes. but more than likely he sees the world around him for what it is, for what it will be, and allows himself complacency in it. he doesnt know how not to survive now. and he only knows how to survive through the horrors he makes.

years pass. decades. a new century. he passes the point where he no longer needs to hide. he passes the point where he could retire in obscuroty or fame. he keeps going even as his body fails him more and more. because all he knows how to do is make horrors. and making horrors is how he survives.

project walrider comes together and he keeps going. keeps surviving

until he stops

until suddenly his survival and his life is, for the first time in years, no longer in his control

he is being held aloft by a child. billy. a man with a mind so broken and damaged it looks to him, werenicke, as a father. as someone to care for and protect.

and MAYBE werenicke thinks back to germany. of the dead bodies of evil men surrounding him. of all the bodies of innocent people that surround and outnumber them.

maybe, he thinks, it could happen again. not because of him. not by the grace of some small minded interventionalist god. but out of sheer luck. because sometimes the universe, cold and uncarring as it is, turns its tides against evil men

or maybe he doesnt think that at all. werenicke doesnt believe in luck or god. in morality, heaven, and certainly not hell.

and even at a distance, in the glass case he views the world from, that he has been viewing the world from since he was dragged out of the real hell here on earth, werenicke knows he is not a good man. theres no amount of apology he could give or suffering he could go through to balance the scales. one can only get so wet and his crumbling bones are soaked through to the marrow with the blood of a thousand innocent people. maybe all he thinks is, what the hell is one more to the pile?

in the end of it all he is cherished by a young man who he only hurts. and and he shows, perhaps for the first time in a very long time, some semblence of kindness to that young man. it doesnt change anything. it doesnt stop anything. but its there. and it proves, to werenicke alone, that hes still capable of being something else.

he stops wanting to survive, but he is made to survive anyways. he is finally willing to die, even if only for his own sake, but he cant.

he shows a modicum of kindness to billy, and billy rewards him with a continued existance he doesnt want.

billys belief in him and the forcing of his survival, werenickes kindness to billy and desire to die. we have no odea what came first or what was last.

and then acension comes. some new fake god to worship is born. it slaughters the evil and innocent alike

and it deigns to keep him living still

and he tries to stop it this time. his tries to destroy the culmination of his lifes work, of his life.

he fails.

the remorse was there.

it didnt change a god damn thing

but itnwas there

having thoughts about that bitch ass gay nazi again