#but mine was heavy to begin with
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#irl rambles#so at my job out of 3 managers we currently have one left thatâs leaving at the end of the month#edit âi mean end of next month **#so yeah things are going to hell#but iâm kinda glad this one is leaving?#everyone thinks sheâs great but on multiple occasions sheâs made me feel like iâm incompetent#not in a totally outward way but like iâll say something in a meeting#and later on sheâll say something that totally undermines it#n i donât really think about it until later#and then iâm like wow ok lol fuck me i guess#(eg i said my workload was too much n i was being expected to do more n more n itâs not just me a lot of people are feeling that way#but mine was heavy to begin with#and later on she made a comment about how actually our workloads should be double what they are#like insinuating if i wasnât coping i was doing something wrong#but actually compared to other teams who look after double the stuff their workload isnât that busy#and ours generates a huuuge amount)#thereâs no point to this rant n it wonât make sense to people who donât know my workplace#but iâm just thinking about going into work tomorrow n how fed up i am of my job n lack of managerial support#n my brain is saying itâs time to move on#but i love my team n honestly iâm not qualified to do anything else#i donât drive so finding somewhere convenient is difficult#unless i wanna be stuck in 8am and 5pm traffic for four hours a day again#n the holiday entitlement n pay is better than anywhere else
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no thoughts head empty the oppressive stagnancy of legacy in ever after high dragging me round the block yet again
it's such a shame that we get so little explanation about the actual mechanics of destiny, which is the entire premise of the show, bc it's so juicy. like what power does destiny hold when you rip away milton's lies and centuries of assumptions and traditions. esp bc despite raven signing herself as the evil queen in the real storybook of legends, when the snow white fairytale actually happens in dragon games she's playing one of the seven dwarves and her mother has reprised her role. like how much of that was because of the characters' actions and how much was destiny pulling on old, familiar threads. keeps me up at night.
a lot of this is probably just like, plot holes and writer hot potato but i like making it that deep, that's half of the fun. my personal interpretation is that fate is a wild thing that desires repetition and they developed the system of fairytale legacy bloodlines to keep those repetitions predictable and contained, instead of wreaking havoc whenever and wherever they please.Â
which lends itself to some really juicy exploration of how legacy is a duty as much as it is a privilege, and how to be a princess or a witch or a hero or a dragon is to be the same thing in the end: the lamb destiny slaughters on the altar to sate the ever-ravenous narrative. to keep the flock safe. keep the unknown that prowls beyond the beaten path at bay. because if a there is always a mother who will be cruel, or a maiden who will fall into a sleep like death, or a child who will become a bird, isnât it better to know who, and how, and when? isnât better if itâs you, who has known your whole life that you must be eaten, be poisoned, be stripped of your humanity, rather than anybody else, who wasnât raised to see it as an honour instead of a great and terrible injustice?
#ever after high#mine#remember when apple asked snow white for advice on yester day and she had nothing useful to say? bc all the problems in her life were#solved by a smile a friend and true love's kiss?#and apple got to experience being disappointed by the parent she placed on a pedestal for the first time ever? that was really fun#don't even get me started by how the class of classics are all called by the names of their roles that is sooooo fun and fucked up#the mantle of your legacy is so large and so heavy that it swallows you up entirely#ik it's for convenience's sake but simply imagine with me. surrendering your true name once your tale begins to bind to the retelling#more strongly. invite the eye of the narrative to fix on you. set destiny on its well-worn tracks and drive it smoothly#to happily ever after#i love the idea of the retellings being ritualistic to an extent. there is so much you could do w destiny#how destiny is a crutch too that prevents u fr growing as a person bc there is nothing life can start that u haven't already seen finished
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IT ARRIVED IT ARRIVED IT ARRIVED
DESPITE EVERYTHING DESPITE MY CHRONICALLY CURSED INTERNATIONAL MAIL PROBLEM I AM STILL THE ZONE RPG
#bakuspeech#and I guess this counts as#bakuspecial#ouuuuuu#my art! on cards! characters I kinda got to build with my visuals!!#also upon getting this which I had mailed to the senpai's place instead of mine in an effort to break the curse we immediately#ran a game. that was supposed to be short. but ended up extending past midnigt#AND had to stop for the night before act 2 even begins#but. its SO fun. the game pieces do just the right amount of heavy lifting for u that it frees u up to make up Real out there stuff#like. we ran a game on the browser version. and while it was also Really fun it got stressful to make stuff up#now if we're stuck we just pick up cards#and like. idk for kinda the first time really? I get the appeal of roleplaying with someone else#I'm usually such a control freak about the stories I tell lmao#with the visual aids in this set I get to imagine the character dynamics so much more easily#like this time around the senpai picked the scientist archetype#and he made that guy a white guy with some means who has been sending people to death to serve his science#and my character's an asian guy who was with a pest control service (yes I picked the trevor henderson character lmao)#who got drafted into the bureau and works as like cleanup/fodder#so immediately I got to go like oh so I hate your guts. and you condescend at me#which turned out to be a Very fun dynamic to roleplay lmao#throughout act 1 we've made this dynamic steadily Worse. one of them envies the other into oblivion#while the other can now communicate with No one except his mission partner#and we're gonna craft the second act as chase. a predator and a prey. gods. it was SO fun#its so funny both of them were touting to be smart or good at their job. and then they went into the zone and Immediately got fucked up#this game really gives u that satisfaction and fascination with like. when things go wrong in way too thematically fitting and messy ways#lmao my contract's fulfilled I do not have to talk this game up. its just really fun. man I enjoy that so much#sadly my pool of english speakers who can play this game with me is not big#I'll try and find time to run a few small games in the near future... maybe during lunar new year#I was over at the senpai's today to toast out birthdays lol. to get that out of the way we've been planning something like that for weeks#weve been both way too busy. with different sliding scales of uh. how pleasant that busy's been
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the early vibes of c2 were so nice they literally got out of prison and were just like "well shit where should we go" and basically picked a spot on the map and headed somewhere just for the hell of it and stuck together cuz they had nowhere better to be
#like. i love c3 and i get that all those threads thrown out at the beginning were more plot-heavy and maybe more interesting#but it was so much them chasing down dead ends and trying to figure out connecting threads and c2 starts with them just Vibing it's Nice#it's nice to switch back to watching one of them and have a fresh change of pace u know#c2 rewatch#c2 spoilers#m9#the mighty nein#mighty nein#critical role#mine
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Obviously, given the nature of this little blog of mine, my own corner of the internet, I adore Boromir. Everything he has done, everything he has said; all of it occupies my waking thoughts and my endless dreams. However, nothing keeps me more entertained than the LOOK of FEAR on Boromir's face during the Fellowship's journey, courtesy of the always talented Sean, and as can be seen in the films. Brave and noble he is, let's not forget that our beloved steward-prince is human. Human - AND VERY MUCH TERRIFIED OF THE CHAOS HE WANDERED INTO!
#Homeward Bound \\ OOC#(( Sean deserved some kind of award for showing accurately what it looks like to be afraid/confused by your surroundings!#(( Rewatching the Mines of Moria scenes has made me insane I apologize#(( I took the time to hyperfocus on Boromir specifically during this and OMG#(( The DETAILS you pick up after your 57th watch!#(( You can HEAR Boromir begin to breathe heavy and panic once the Balrog starts to appear
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30 seconds into hot shot ch1â
#HEAVY SIGH#okay 30 secs is an exaggeration but itâs legit in the beginning of the chapter#likeâŠ. at least pretend youâre a normal book not smut#also not a great first meeting for casey đ€§#a rude âhot headâ and this??? ugh#weâll see how it goes thoâŠ#hot shot#playchoices#mine#choices vip
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advices are welcome because i âšdont know anything anymoreâš
#this friend of mine is the sweetest#we always got along even though we're very different#in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me#he on the other hand is very talkative. loves showing affection and has like 3 different podcasts and he's friends with literally everyone#long story short he graduated and moved cities it's been 3 months#also i went through a very bad depressive episode and im still crawling out of it#he says im distant and its not because the lack of texts but because there isnt a way to communicate with me#i say im depressed and its disappearing is nothing new and he knows this. that all im asking is time#he says he's anxious and has abandonment issues and that his love language is words of affirmation#i say i was never a person that says much from the beginning and listed all other things ive done and sacrifice myself for him#he says he understands and he feels loved and cared for by me. still his love language is words of affirmation and he needs it#it feels like a demand even though he keeps saying it's not#he says there's nothing wrong with me being an overall absent person and that the problem is with him#his insecurities and words of affirmation is the way out of it#and i dont know what to do anymore#i want someone to tell me im in the wrong and that friends give in for each other#but everyone keeps saying this is not okay and i dont know i understand where he's coming from#i just .... im so tired#'ik you said you dont have energy but do you see where im coming from?' left a bad taste in my mouth#idk my heart is heavy im so exhausted and i wish he had read that damn text i sent him carefully and not rushed to replu#reply*#how can a person respect your boundaries and still cross them and then no it's actually you misunderstanding?#aita#personal
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I saw a picture of soft cheese and now I am craving brie, a tiger baton, olives maybe, Charlotte potato salad, maybe even some stuffed peppers
Do I want to go and spend money on these lil treats and gorge myself on "healthy" fanciful foods?
Yes, actually
And I just might
#mine#food#cravings#as i typed this a bag of magic stars in my nightstand that i forgot i had came into view#i immediately started monching#clearly today is a day for impulsive cravings#let me begin with yoga and a walk so as to set up some semblance of balance before i eat myself into a heavy coma
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im doing one for shinon too bc he deserves it
shinon radiant dawn vc: my mom never hugged me
shinon path of radiance and radiant dawn vc: -treats greil like a respectable father and never mentions his own father literally ever-
shinon radiant dawn death quote: (smiling portrait) âUgh... This is...such a crock... What a... boring way to die... Co... Commander... Greil... I... I... I'm...â (is he implying âIâm coming to see you againâ, based on the quote and smiling portrait?)
#DCB Comments#shinon is one of those characters where the fandom focuses on one single negative trait#and they blow it up completely and pretend it's the only trait he ever has had and ever will have#meanwhile there's a gold mine of information you can figure out just by reading his lines and thinking about why he acts like that#like the whole want for money to live well when they're clearly not super well off mercenaries#or when he takes weapons from dead enemies and gets scolded for it but like can they even afford new weapons regularly?#the way he acts implies he grew up poor and has always been poor and STILL IS but he's there bc he cares about greil#and eventually came to care about everyone else and cares a lot about kids which they had rolf who rly respected shinon#he does what he can to help them raise money when they need it but fact is they always need it#in his quote versus oscar in chapter 18 oscar asks him if promotion is so important and he says it's everything#he clearly has no ill will toward oscar but for shinon getting promoted and getting money in that promotion will help him live well#he's tired of being fucking poor. he doesn't see an issue with wanting to live like you know a normal person should#but ofc everyone sees that he argued with janaff in two supports (which btw janaff egged on HARD and talked shit abt greil#and he also used racist rhetoric back at shinon so like... that whole argument was a two way street#but the fandom ignores that and just calls shinon racist even tho in their A support shinon specifically catches himself#from using a racist term and changes the term he uses so he's not being rude bc he learned he was wrong abt laguz through janaff#and janaff learned he was wrong about beorc through shinon. it was a very development heavy support chain for both of them#the fandom hates on shinon for ''being racist'' even tho he's one of the few non-main characters to actually get full development#and has a complete story from beginning to end between both games and comes out better for it)#i mean that's only a couple examples of things that aren't even hard to read into but ppl like to reduce him to one trait#and one trait that actually gets better and develops through both games. oh no a flawed character who has to have a development journey AAAA#guess what he's perfect specifically bc he's not a boring already perfect and flawless character#he has to get angry and get annoyed and learn from others despite being a grown adult. he has to have negative interactions to grow#he doesn't get to cling to the ADORED main character and get a gay paired ending and be loved for it#which no offense to soren that's not his fault that's the fandom's fault for treating them both the way they do for stupid reasons#i.e. would soren rly be so loved by the fandom if he wasn't tunnel visioned at ike#yes i will take forever to write this out slowly with my injured arm JUST TO GET THIS POINT ACROSS!#HE IS A FANTASTIC CHARACTER EVEN WITHIN THE TELLIUS CAST AND I WILL FIGHT FOR HIM11!!111!!!1!#also i wrote this earlier between those asks no im not that speedy lel. much less with a bandaged arm l e l
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i'm fine. i'm fine....
all stars must die one day
SYNOPSIS: itâs always been him- stupidly perfect and handsome Alhaitham who you saw as the bane of your academic achievements. Three years later and now so much has changed. He misses you. He misses your endless bickering and meaningless fights. Why did you change so much? Itâs a mystery he makes up his mind to resolve.
CHARACTERS: Alhaitham, gossip circle consisting of Kaveh, Tighnari, and Lisa + the rest of the Sumeru cast
TAGS: heavy angst w/fluff, academic burnout, burnt-out gifted kid, mild profanity, gn reader, reader is briefly mentioned to be shorter than Alhaitham, toxic family dynamics, 15.7k+ word count
NOTES: college decisions and my experiences from the past two years really compelled me to write this. If youâre going through burnout, know that youâre not alone and that you can do this.
this took me almost half a year to finish wtf
Thereâs a comet that crosses Sumeruâs skies only once in a lifetime.Â
Alhaitham had heard some Rtawahsit students discussing it the other day. They were practically buzzing with excitement over the news of its reappearance.
âIsnât this the perfect opportunity?â
âHow lucky are we to be able to witness it?â
âEven our professors are excited about it!â
Alhaitham couldnât care less. The phenomena of celestial events, while dazzling, are easily explained by science. Itâs not like they were anything special either. At their heart, theyâre composed of ordinary materials- rock, dust, water, and ice, plus other chemicals.Â
He puts it out of his mind until heâs rudely awoken one night by loud noises outside the window. A flash of annoyance runs through him as he gets up and looks out to glare at the crowd of students passing through. A glance at their berets tells him theyâre Rtawahsit students. Theyâre trying their best to be quiet, but when itâs practically an entire Darshan on the move, that becomes a difficult task.Â
It seems as if heâs not the only one that was woken up. Other familiar faces are peeking through cracked-open windows. Lisa, Cyno, and Tighnari all yawn while watching the crowd of students pass by before looking at each other and following them. Kaveh, who has just woken up from his spot across the room, gives Alhaitham one last look before leaving.
Alhaitham closes the window and flops back onto his bed. He covers his ears with his pillow and closes his eyes, attempting to fall back asleep. He never cared for what other people thought or did, so why should he blindly follow the crowd? He wasnât even curious anyway.
But for some strange reason, he canât seem to fall asleep. He tosses and turns, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration, before finally getting up to put his restless mind at ease.Â
Itâs easy to figure out where everyone has gone. All he has to do is follow the sounds of chatter. It leads him to the top of the Divine Tree the city is built upon. There, Rtawahsit students are busy setting up their telescopes while others have pen and paper at their disposal for note-taking. Professors guide said students while those from other Darshans watch on in curiosity and gaze at the sky in anticipation.Â
Tighnari and the others beckon him over. He squeezes himself into the secluded corner they claimed for themselves, poking Kaveh with his limbs intentionally in the process. To his surprise, youâre there too. You lean against Lisaâs arm and shoot him a little glare that lacks any real hate before turning back to the sky, glaring at him when he decides to sit in front of you and block your view.Â
âLook!â shouts a student. âItâs started!â
Almost immediately, everybody goes silent. Only the sounds of birds and wildlife can be heard, along with the quiet breathing of everyone searching wildly for it.
(Heâs acutely aware of the warm puffs of air that tickle the back of his neck when you exhale. It shouldnât be this distracting, but it is. Is this your way of getting back at him?)
Thereâs an excited gasp from a girl with her telescope. She wildly gestures toward the sky and Alhaitham sees a bright speck of light out of the corner of his eye. Several smaller meteors zip through the sky, but everybodyâs attention is on the largest one. It outshines all the other stars in the sky as it speeds by, heating up into a white-hot glow and leaving a glittering trail of blue stardust behind. It is a star not of this world, speeding onward toward its destination- toward something greater.Â
âLook,â he hears Lisa whisper. He briefly tears his attention from the sky to see her lean toward you. âMake a wish.â
Alhaitham sees you close your eyes for a moment before opening them again. What did you just wish for?
Itâs gone in just a few minutes, heading toward the horizon until not even a pinprick of its light can be seen anymore. The sky is now dark again. With the main event over, most people begin getting up to return to their rooms. His eyes linger on your form, now walking away. Lisaâs voice from earlier repeats in his head.
âMake a wish.â
Itâs a childish belief not rooted in reason- he knows that. But for just a second, he closes his eyes and makes a wish.Â
He met you at the start of his first year.Â
Itâs too loud here. I want to go home already.
From his seat in the back of the room, he watches as spots gradually fill up as the start time draws nearer. Much to his delight, everybody leaves his spot in the back of the classroom alone, instead opting to sit toward the front.Â
That is until someone sits down in the row in front of him. He looks up from the pages of his book, slightly annoyed. Curses, now he couldnât be by himself anymore. But they leave him alone and keep to themselves as the professor walks in and introduces himself and the class, so he tolerates it.Â
Thereâs a light tap on his desk. He looks up to see you watching him expectantly. Heâs able to get his first good look at you now. Your Akademiya uniform is a little too big on you and the sleeves drape over your hands. Your green hat sits lopsidedly on your head and you have the air of a starry-eyed and enthusiastic first-year student.Â
âYes?âÂ
âThe professor told us to introduce ourselves to those around us,â you explain. âIâm (Name).â
âAlhaitham. Pleased to meet you.â
You nod in response and turn back around. Your professor is explaining the course and handing the syllabus out, but your mind wanders toward the guy sitting behind you whom youâve just met.Â
Heâs cute, you think to yourself. In like, a little kid or puppy kind of way. Heâs still a little short and scrawny- wait, how old is he anyway? Donât tell me heâs one of those child prodigies that got in at a super young age⊠Or maybe heâs just a late bloomer, who knows?Â
A few weeks later, the results of your first test roll around. The 98 scribbled and circled in red ink at the top of the paper makes you nod in satisfaction. Itâs indicative of a good start, but when you take a look at the board in front of the class, you see someone has gotten a perfect score.Â
And it turns out the culprit himself sits right behind you.Â
You glare at the 100% in red ink at the top of his page as if it has personally offended you. As if to further insult you, there was a small âgood job!â written in the margins by the professor that you didnât have on your paper.Â
âA 98? Good, but not perfect. Perhaps you should have studied more,â he nonchalantly remarks after seeing yours. Your eye twitches in irritation.
Oh, it is so on.Â
From that day onward, you swore to yourself that you would beat Alhaitham, no matter what it took. Even if it meant sleepless nights spent hunched over your notes and textbooks, they were all a price you were willing to pay to prove that you were the undisputed best.Â
Soon after, you donât see Alhaitham in class anymore. His seat behind you is left unoccupied and you hear rumors that he opted for self-study instead- whatever that was. Despite that, he still gets top marks in everything, only serving to annoy you and spur you onward.Â
However, you still see him at the library, and frequently at that. Itâs somewhat surprising, considering that the Akasha Terminal has the same function and is more convenient. As a result, the library is mostly empty save for the few students that are there to study materials that arenât entered into the Akashaâs database. Youâre there because you prefer the quiet, focused environment of the library to your dorm, which despite the Akademiya and its students' almost religious devotion to academics, can get a little too rowdy for your liking at times. Plus, you prefer the feeling of a physical book in your hands over its digitized counterpart in the Akasha. It makes it easier to take notes and learn that way.Â
Recently, youâve found a spot in the library that youâve taken a liking to. Itâs located in the back and obscured by bookshelves, giving you some much-needed privacy while you study and itâs located by a window, allowing for ample natural light.
But apparently, someone else has already claimed it, unbeknownst to you.Â
âThis is my spot.â
You donât even look up from your book. The voice alone was a dead giveaway as to who was speaking.Â
âAnd? I didnât see your name on it.â
Alhaitham sits at the seat across from you, purposefully spreading his books and other materials across the desk to push yours off to the side. A satisfied smirk twitches at the corners of his lips when he sees your eyes narrow in irritation.Â
âAre you here just to bother me?â
âIf I wanted to bother you, Iâd find other ways to do it.âÂ
You huff in annoyance and turn the page. He watches you over the top of his book with intrigue as you alternate between reading and taking notes.Â
â... Will you quit staring at me like that? Itâs distracting.â
âOh? So youâre admitting that Iâm a distraction?â
âYou-!â
A sharp hiss to be quiet from a librarian passing by silences you both temporarily. You glare at him accusingly, which he merely brushes off.
Thereâs a reluctant compromise that arises between you after that. Every day after class, you would meet at the same spot in the library to study. You would sit across from each other and work independently from each other until it was time to go, where youâd then say your goodbyes before heading your separate ways. Rinse and repeat and that was what your average day looked like.Â
âSo, whatâs up with that thing between you and (Name)?â
You pause from your studying after overhearing that line and look up. Across the clearing are Alhaitham and a blond-haired man. Kaveh, if you recall his name correctly.Â
âI donât know what youâre trying to imply,â replies Alhaitham.Â
âIs there some sort of competition between you two? Whenever I see you guys, youâre basically at each otherâs throats over test scores and stuff.â
âThere is no such competition. That would be a pointless waste of my time and energy.âÂ
The urge to throw your book at his head across the clearing is strong, but youâll settle for Kaveh giving him a doubtful expression.
âYou say that and yet youâve been putting more work into your studies than ever.âÂ
âThatâs none of your business.âÂ
But for all your efforts, you canât seem to catch up to him. He was always one step- or rather, one point- ahead of you. Heâd always be there, subtly rubbing his achievements right in your face even though the difference is practically negligible at least half of the time.Â
It gets to the point where you begin to rant about your troubles to Lisa.Â
âCan you believe this guy? It makes me wonder if heâs a sadist of some sort that gets a kick out of annoying me.âÂ
Youâre sitting outside in one of the many gazebos around the Akademiya. Despite studying under a different Darshan, you quickly became friends with her.
She laughs lightly at your words.
âTo me, it sounds like your poor heart is troubled! Shall doctor Lisa perform a checkup on you?â
You swat her hand away.
âDonât play with me like that. And youâre not even an Amurta student!â
You hear footsteps coming down the pathway and speak of the devil, the topic of your conversation is walking toward you, his book in hand as always. You watch him out of the corner of your eye. He meets your gaze and holds it for several long, agonizing seconds before looking forward again and disappearing out of sight. You shudder and look away, Lisa chuckling lightly at your actions.
âAsshole,â you grumble. âWhatâs his problem? And did you see how cold his eyes were? Makes me wonder if the rumors of him having a heart of ice are trueâŠâÂ
Lisa hesitates at that.Â
âIâm afraid thatâs where youâre wrong, (Name).â
âHuh? What do you mean?â
She purses her lips and looks off to the side.Â
âItâs hard to explain, even for me. But youâll see and come to understand in due time how acutely aware he is of the emotions of those around him, especially those he is close to.â
You think you understand the meaning of her words a few weeks later when the results of a particularly rough test greet you.
75%
Damn it, you think before roughly shoving the papers into your bag, away from the prying eyes of your classmates. I canât falter here now. I still have so much more to do.
âI can tutor you if youâd like. I donât offer this to just anyone, so Iâd advise you to consider it,â Alhaitham says in the library later that day. You know that most people would kill for this opportunity and you werenât blinded by jealousy to the point where you couldnât see the benefit of his offer.Â
But your pride prevents you from accepting it.
âThanks, but Iâm fine. Iâd rather do this myself.âÂ
Another time, Alhaitham has to get up at a time when he should be asleep. Earlier that day, he had left a book of his behind and forgotten about it until now, leaving him to search the now-dark and empty halls of the Akademiya for where it might be.Â
He happens to pass by the House of Daena on the way and sees a solitary lamp lit in the back corner where he usually frequents. Out of sheer curiosity, he steps inside to see thereâs a familiar figure hunched over the desk, clearly fast asleep with piles upon piles of books and notes stacked around them.Â
Alhaitham gazes down at you with his ever-impassive eyes, silently wondering what to do next. A cold gust of air blows through the library and he shivers slightly. He looks down at your exposed arms, then at his jacket, before taking it off and draping it over your form. Catching a cold would serve you no good and youâd most likely return it to him later tomorrow.Â
Before he leaves, his curiosity gets the better of him and he takes a quick peek at your notes.Â
His eyes widen ever so slightly. Much of the material scattered around your desk was far ahead of what you were and needed to be learning. Did you borrow these books and notes from upperclassmen? The handwriting is a mix of yours and someone elseâs⊠He doesnât see the point in you doing so- itâs all just unnecessary work, in his opinion. Either way, itâs none of his business and you can do as you please, but Alhaitham canât help but wonder if you were doing all of this just to stay ahead- to keep up or even surpass him.
He leaves and you wake up soon after to something warm and soft covering your shoulders. Itâs a standard Akademiya-issued jacket for the fall and winter terms. Itâs way too big on you and the sleeves completely cover your hands. Curiously, you pull it tighter around your form. It smells nice- like old books and coffee- and you suddenly realize who it belongs to. Your face suddenly flushes and itâs not from the warmth of the jacket.
Alhaitham-!
The next day, Alhaitham arrives at his usual spot in the library. Youâre sitting across from him as usual and interestingly refuse to make eye contact with him.
Sumeruâs climate has always been temperate, but the days are getting longer and warmer now. Youâve finally shed your winter uniform for your spring one and with the end of the year rapidly approaching comes major tests. The library is the most packed it's ever been with students everywhere cramming last-minute. Itâs rare to find an empty table now, but thankfully your spot in the back with Alhaitham is still left unoccupied. If not, Alhaithamâs cold glare is more than enough to scare them away.Â
For one of your classes, itâs a project instead of a test. You have the option to choose the type of project, but for some stupid reason, your professor was still assigning partners instead of being able to choose.
âAnd (Name), letâs see⊠hmm, Iâll pair you up with Alhaitham. How does that sound?â
Your blood runs cold and you hear your classmates snicker around you. You want to scream at the prospect of it. Sumeru would sooner freeze over before the two of you cooperate and he knows it. You catch him staring at you out of the corner of your eye, daring you to say no.Â
You swallow your pride and nod. The tips of your ears burn and at that moment, you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole.Â
â... That sounds fine.â
How humiliating.
Later that day in the library, heâs even more infuriating than normal, if thatâs even possible. His face betrays nothing but you can hear the smugness dripping from his voice and mannerisms. His arms crossed in front of his chest, the way he would subtly look down on you with that know-it-all gaze⊠it all made you want to punch his (handsome) face.Â
âDonât fall behind now,â he says once youâve finally settled on a project.
âLetâs see if you can even keep up with me.âÂ
Your project is relatively straightforward but involves a lot of cooperation between you two. As you work, it becomes an all-too-common sight to see you arguing everywhere you go, much to the irritation of others.
âIâm telling you, this character has to be symbolic of rebirth! Why else would we see it so concentrated in scripts that were dated toward the end of that civilization?â
âYou seem to be forgetting that this has also been seen elsewhere. Besides, there are reasons to believe that it means something else.â
âWhat, did it get lost in translation? If you think youâre so smart, then go ahead and enlighten me.âÂ
You glare at him as he sips his coffee (with milk and two sugars, you note. Just the way he likes it).Â
âGod, can they just kiss already?â grumbles Kaveh from where he sits across the room. Lisa and Tighnari sitting at the same table nodded in agreement.
âMeeting up to work outside of class is normal, but over lunch? Sounds like a date to me,â complains Tighnari while not-so-subtly eyeing the way you animatedly bicker with him.Â
âHey, isnât this Alhaithamâs treat as well?â asks Kaveh. Tighnariâs ears twitch and perk up at his question. He glances at the both of you- Alhaitham just paused to ask if youâd like a refill of your tea, and you said yes- before groaning.
âIt sure looks like itâŠâ
Lisa decides to take matters into her own hands.
âAre you two arguing or flirting?â she asks in a loud voice.
âArguing!â you retort. Alhaitham merely rolls his eyes and steals one of your samosas while you arenât looking.Â
âI saw that! Give it back!â
âToo late.âÂ
Two months, lots of bickering, and lots of coffee later, you present the culmination of your work to the class. For all the headaches and lost sleep you had to endure, your efforts are handsomely rewarded with a perfect score and rare compliments from your professor. And for that alone, it was well worth everything you went through.Â
âGood job. It was a rewarding experience working with you. I daresay that our arguments aside, we make for a decent team.âÂ
You look up to see Alhaitham.
âOh? A rare compliment from the stoic and sharp-tongued man himself?â
âDonât make me retract my words.â
âOuch, how cold of you.âÂ
When you return to your dorm later that night, thereâs a note addressed to you from Lisa.
I overheard one of your professors talking about you and Alhaitham with someone else today- Professor Behnam, I think that was his name? Iâm fairly sure this was after you guys presented because they mentioned that briefly. I wrote this down in a hurry as they were speaking, but hereâs what he said:
They complement each other perfectly. While they both have unmatched erudition and wit, one has the creativity and uninhibited ambition the other tends to lack. However, he is more pragmatic and logical. Despite their differences, they make for a perfect team.
They will surely be among some of the best scholars the Akademiya has seen in a long time.
You end your first year tied for the top of the class with him.
âIâm home!â
âWelcome home, (Name)! How were your last few weeks at the Akademiya?â
Your parentsâ home is as warm and welcoming as always. The house has been freshly cleaned and is practically shining. They take your bags and usher you into the kitchen, where your favorite dishes are sitting on the kitchen table, freshly cooked for dinner with steam still rising from them.
âItâs been fine,â you say. âStressful, but also enjoyable. I like my classes and I get along with my classmates and professors.âÂ
âHow are your grades? Have they been finalized yet?â
You nod and beam them with pride.
âEnded the year at the top of the class.â
Your parentsâ eyes widen and they clap excitedly.
âThatâs our child!â
âAs brilliant and talented as always!â
âGood, keep going! Remember to study for money!â
âI will!â
Your mother leans in close and clasps your hand in hers. âAfter these four years, you should continue your education and become a sage! Maybe even work your way up and become the next Grand Sage!â
You balk at the prospect of it.
âA-A sage? Mom, there are tons of talented people in the Akademiya- thatâs where the best of the best go to study! The chances that Iâll make it to that point are slim!â
Your father clicks his tongue and shakes his head.Â
âNonsense!â he exclaims. âYou ended this year at the top of your class, you know. Besides, you inherited the intelligence of both your parents- Iâd imagine that this would be a doable task for you. Also, imagine how amazing it would be if you were to become a sage! Youâd be the first one in the family! Wouldnât that be such an achievement for us?â
âThatâs not even true! There was someone else who tied with me for the top of the class as well and if Iâm being honest, he has a better shot at it than me!â
Your momâs eyes sharpen and you instantly regret saying that.Â
âHe? So⊠a guy, huh?â
You mentally brace yourself for a barrage of questions.
âWhatâs his name? Whatâs he like? How smart is he? Is he good enough for you? Does he have-â
âDear, stop it,â your father says. âLook, youâre overwhelming them.â
You sigh and shake your head. âFor starters, his name is Alhaitham-â
âAlhaitham? Iâve heard that name somewhere before⊠wait, I remember now!â exclaims your father. âHis grandmother was a Ksharewar scholar. His mother was a renowned Vahumana scholar and his father was a mentor in Haravatat.â
âWas?â you ask. Your father bites his lip and looks away.
â... His grandmother passed away a few years ago and from what I heard, so did his parents when he was young.âÂ
âOh.âÂ
The kitchen is silent for a few moments before your father breaks it.
âWait, (Name), why do you look so surprised? I thought you knew this already, considering heâs your rival and everything! I thought you would at least know something about him.â
âDad, thatâs exactly the point- weâre rivals and I donât want to know anything about him! All that matters is beating him at his own game and thatâs that. Besides, he never tells me anything about his personal life, so why should I do the same?â
âTheyâre right, you know.â
Your father merely rolls his eyes at your motherâs remark.Â
âYou know the rules, donât get too close to him now,â your mother warns. âYou have to do whatever it takes to be the best, whatever? Thatâs what you promised us.â
You roll your eyes. âYes, mom, I know. Iâll do my best to become a sage.â
Your parents lean in to hold you close, your mother giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.
âThatâs our child. Make us proud, ok?â
âI will!â
After a lovely three months of summer vacation (and not being forced to see Alhaitham every day save for the rare occasions where youâd run into him in public- youâd immediately turn the other way and act as if nothing happened), you head back to the Akademiya for your second year. Like last year, you share many of your classes with the bane of your existence, although things are⊠less tense than they were before. The underlying spark of competition is still there, but not as prominent as before.
Alhaitham is pleasantly surprised at how youâve mellowed out over the summer. Something in your eyes has hardened and the way your mouth is set is different now. Youâve lost some of the baby fat in your cheeks (shame, he enjoyed poking and prodding at them, much to your annoyance) and youâve grown a bit taller as well. Heâs grown taller as well and to your irritation, heâs gaining on you. Heâs put on some muscle as well and according to Kaveh, who you befriended over the summer, heâs started learning the art of the sword.
(âWhat for?â you had asked back then. He had merely shrugged.
âToo much free time on his hands, I guess. I thought he was training to be a mercenary at first.â
âI just canât imagine him with a sword. In my mind, I see him toppling over from the weight of it.â
âSame here.â)
On the first day back, you merely greet him with a nod and youâre less opposed to working with him than before- although you canât seem to break the habit of making a sarcastic jab at him now and then.
As the year progresses though, Alhaitham notices a change in you- namely, your test scores. He catches a glimpse of them sticking out of your folder at the library.
85%. 75%. 83%. 79%. Theyâre not as good as they were last year but they arenât a concern for Alhaitham. As far as he knows, youâre still doing good overall and your classes are getting harder. Itâs only reasonable and he hasnât observed any noticeable or drastic changes in your personality, so it doesnât warrant any concern.Â
That is, in his eyes. The same canât be said for you though.
You didn't realize how much time you had spent studying until the library was closed one day. Sitting at your cramped desk with your roommate you barely know nowhere in sight, youâre suddenly aware of how quiet it is. Normally, youâd hear at least something- people arguing down the hall and music playing, among others. But today, it was eerily silent.Â
From the back of your mind, you recall news of a party that was supposed to be happening around this time. Lisa extended an invitation to you but you turned it down, claiming that you had to study. It was a bullshit excuse, now that you think about it.Â
(Lisa had looked at you knowingly when you said that, but not in a good way. Worry was present in her eyes, resigned to the fact that she couldnât do anything.
âAlright,â she had said. âJust⊠donât head down the path I think youâre on.â)
Your pen freezes mid-stroke as a horrifying thought crosses your mind. You now finally understand the true meaning of her words.Â
Have I⊠been making the right decisions? How much have I missed out on?Â
Your books and the allure of good grades tempt you, but you force yourself to evaluate your life so far. You have some of the highest marks in the entire class but you realize you have almost no experience or connections, and that was what really mattered.
All of the studying in the world canât compare to pulling a few strings, after all. Â
Not long after the year starts, Alhaitham notices that youâve started going out more. Youâre spending less of your time at the library during weekends and instead spending time with friends in the city.Â
(âYou actually have a life outside of the Akademiya. Iâm surprised.â
âI should be the one telling you that.â)
 âCome on, (Name), come join us at the tavern tonight! We booked the place and everyone is going to be there! Youâre missing out if you donât, just sayingâŠâ
The familiar voice belonging to a certain blond makes you look up. You huff a sigh and set your notes down to glare at Kaveh, who has been pestering you to go to a party at Lambadâs Tavern tonight. Youâre about to tell him youâre not interested when you stop just short of saying so.
Will I regret saying no?
â(Name), youâre young right now! Take some risks and live life a little, otherwise, youâll have nothing to look back fondly on once youâre all old and wrinkly! That old dusty rock-of-a-friend Alhaitham would say the same thing, you know⊠although, maybe heâd phrase it differently.â
Kavehâs right, you realize. I can make up a test. I can always study later. But Iâm only young for a little while. I canât make up for lost time.Â
âJust curious- whatâs in it for me?â
âOh, the usual. Free food, entertainment, a break from these stupid books, alcohol- oh, and you might get to see a rare drunk Alhaitham there! Doesnât that sound exciting?â
âNo need to venture into that territory. You already had me at the free food part. So, what time?â
Later that evening at the tavern, you realize Kaveh wasnât kidding when he said everyone was going to be there- he really did mean everyone the moment you step inside. Lisa is the center of attention with wide-eyed students gawking at her alcohol tolerance- seriously, how is she not drunk yet?- while Tighnari stands in the corner with his ears folded over and eyes squeezed shut. Cynoâs glare is more than enough to scare anyone away as he leads the fox hybrid upstairs toward a quieter spot.Â
Thereâs enough alcohol being passed around to knock a Sumpter Beast unconscious. You only have a few drinks, not wanting to be hungover on a weekday. At one point, a familiar voice drifts its way over to you.
â(Name), over here!â
Itâs Kaveh, and⊠Alhaitham next to him is drunk from the looks of it? His face is flushed and he stumbles as he walks with Kaveh being the only thing stopping him from faceplanting onto the floor.Â
âI thought Alhaitham could handle his alcohol?â you ask as you sling one of his arms around your shoulder and make your way out the tavern.Â
âHe does, but he tried a new type of alcohol tonight that was stronger than he expected. Fire-something⊠itâs from Snezhnaya, if that explains anything.â
You glance at his heavily flushed face again and sigh.
âYeah, that explains everything.â
After lugging Alhaitham across Sumeru City and up the many steps leading to the Akademiya, youâre prepared to say goodnight to Kaveh and head back to your dorm when you feel something latch onto your shirt. Itâs Alhaitham and even in his drunken stupor, heâs surprisingly strong. Â
âWait.â
âWhat is it?â you ask after a moment of hesitation. His answer is instant.
âDonât go,â he slurs out.Â
Heâs drunk, you remind yourself. Donât take anything he says at face value.
But even so, you spot the opportunity to tease him.Â
âOh? And why is that?â
âBecause⊠youâre one of my only friends.â
You go quiet at that. Nothing could have prepared you for that response. Every witty remark and sarcastic jab you had prepared on the tip of your tongue fizzled out instantly. Even Kaveh, who has no shortage of words when it comes to Alhaitham, falls silent.Â
In the year or so that youâve known Alhaitham for, heâs never been one to get close with people, instead preferring to keep them at armâs length. Most likely, itâs the alcohol inhibiting his filter, but you canât ignore the little flutter in your stomach at his words.Â
âI guess you are one to me as well, Haitham. I-â
âSay that again.â
His sudden demand makes you pause. Despite his drunken state, thereâs a fire in his eyes that briefly makes you question whether heâs sober.
â... I guess you are one-â
He stops you. âNo. Not that. Repeat what you said at the very end of it.â
âHaitham?â
âCall me that again.â
âHaitham.â
âAgain.â
A smile creeps onto your face now that youâve finally caught on. How cute.Â
âHaitham.â
âAgain.â
And secretly inside, youâre happy. Happy that someone considers you a friend for the first time. You no longer feel dehumanized from idolization or isolated from everyone else and you realize itâs what youâve been secretly wishing for this whole time.Â
âGoodnight, Haitham.â
Itâs now a common occurrence between you two to drag each other to activities on the weekends. One day, itâs Alhaitham camping out with you late at night to go stargazing. (â(Name), this is boring.â âYou can go home if you want. I wonât stop you.â âHmph.â) Another day, itâs him inviting you to the various coffee shops throughout the city and sampling their beverages. (âThe shop we went to last week does a pour-over better.â âYou think so too?â)
Another time, youâre heading back to the Akademiya after a day of shopping and playing Genius Invocation (he lost miserably several times in a row to you, much to his embarrassment). Itâs been overcast the whole day and the air has been humid but you nervously brushed off the weatherâs warning signs.
Something wet lands on your cheek. You blink and look up, then at the ground where raindrops are rapidly dotting the surface. You meet Alhaithamâs gaze, the rising panic in your eyes apparently visible because he pulls you toward the souvenir shop, where you both seek shelter against the escalating downpour. Sheets of rain crash against the ground and the sides of buildings and the gusts of wind make the trees sway violently.Â
(You both, like idiots, forgot to bring your umbrellas. In the middle of Sumeruâs rainy season.)Â
You can barely see past your two feet but you can make out something moving nearby, and itâs getting closer. Small, gray, and most definitely sopping wet, itâs⊠a cat?
The small creature pauses and runs as fast as it can toward you. You take your hat off and scoop it up, where it meows pitifully and sneezes. A quick check tells you that the cat is a girl.Â
â(Name), what-â
âLook, Haitham,â you whisper as you shrug your jacket off and dry the cat. âPoor baby must have gotten stranded and lost in the rain. She came running to us for help.â
The cat shakes off the last of the rain clinging to her fur and now you can see that she resembles Alhaitham quite a bit with her gray fur and green eyes. You wonder if she has his attitude as wellâŠÂ
âI wonder if sheâs someoneâs pet cat that ran away.âÂ
âSheâs probably one of the cityâs many strays. I donât see a collar on her.â
âSheâs well-fed for oneâŠâ you grumble, noting her plump belly. âSo, can we keep her?â
â(Name), you know animals, unless theyâre service animals, are not allowed in Akademiya dorms.â
âThat hasnât stopped people though. Someone on my floor snuck their pet cat into the dorms and itâs an open secret among all of us.â
âBut still-â
And then you hit him with puppy eyes. The edges of your mouth quiver and turn down, while your eyes soften and go wide.Â
âPlease?â
His resolve crumbles instantly.
âFine. But youâre keeping it.â
You sheepishly smile. âAbout thatâŠâ
What now?
âMy roommate is a blabbermouth and a stickler for the rules. If I kept her, she would be gone and back on the streets before noon tomorrow.â
âAre you suggesting that I take care of her?â
âAre you against it?â
âTaking care of an animal is a big responsibility, (Name). One that requires time and-â
âI can help you take care of her. With the two of us looking after her, it shouldnât be a problem.â
âI canât tell if youâre being optimistic or oversimplifying the problem here.âÂ
You roll your eyes and Alhaitham looks off to the side.
âIâll have to ask Kaveh-â
âKaveh would be over the moon at the prospect of you bringing home a cat. You know how much he loves animals. This cat will be in good hands under his and our care.âÂ
Looks like he now has no other choice but to say yes. He heaves a deep sigh and looks back up at you.
âFine. Iâll keep her in my room.âÂ
Your face lights up.
âBut first, we need to give her a name.âÂ
You scrunch your brows and think for a moment.
âHow about Thamina?â
âThamina,â he repeats. âMeaning valuable or priceless. It fits well.âÂ
You become a frequent visitor to Kaveh and Alhaithamâs dorm after that. It gets to the point where Alhaitham gives you his copy of the spare key so you could come and go as you please (to which Kaveh gives him a knowing look that he pointedly ignores for his own sake). At first, you primarily visited to take care of Thamina, but at some point, you began visiting primarily for him.Â
Study sessions slowly move from the House of Daena to his room, with him at his desk and you sitting on his bed. Thamina bears witness to the heated debates shared between you two in the late hours of the night and the quiet moments of studying. Alhaitham is there to keep her company throughout the day, but she patiently waits for you after a long day of classes. She watches as you two steal each otherâs belongings and food (occasionally joining in if she smelled fish in the box you brought home from a late-night dinner). When there is a disagreement between you two, sheâs there to help you reconcile in the form of demanding affection and cuddles.Â
But when she and Kaveh are fast asleep, only you two are privy to the heavy conversations that happen once and are never brought up again.Â
âTell me more about your family, Haitham.âÂ
He freezes, then casts a suspicious glance at you over his shoulder.
âWhere is this question coming from? And why?â
You shrug.
âI just wanted to know more about the people that raised you to become the person you are today.â
â... My grandmother raised me,â he says after a moment of hesitation. âI admittedly donât know much about my parents- only that my mother was a renowned Vahumana scholar and my father was a mentor in Haravatat. They both died in an accident, thus leaving me under my grandmotherâs care.â
You make yourself comfortable on his bed and nod, urging him to continue.Â
âMy grandmother was a Kshahrewar scholar. By the time I was born, she had already retired. As such, she had a lot of free time. We did a lot of things together.â
He pauses to recount his fading memories of her.Â
âShe liked to bake. Her desserts were on the sweeter side, but I have the recipes. I can tweak them so theyâre less sweet for you.â
âIâd like that very much.â
âShe liked to cook as well. Iâd often wake up to the smell of food in the kitchen and sheâd be there at the stove. Sheâd make my favorites and always save most of it or the best parts for me. Unlike with baking, she never used any recipes for her cooking. Iâve tried to imitate her dishes, but itâs never exactly the same as I remember.â
Haithamâs bed is comfy, you note. You pull the covers over yourself, feeling your eyelids grow heavier.Â
âWere you a chubby child who was spoiled by grandma?â you tease.
âYes,â he admits.Â
You giggle. âI wish I could have seen you as a kid, chubby cheeks and all.âÂ
There are baby photos his grandma kept that he now has, but heâll never tell you that.Â
âLike you, she was more of a tea person than a coffee person. She liked hers sweetened while I liked mine more plain. She never knew where she left her reading glasses and sheâd always ask me to find them. When I was younger, sheâd read a bedtime story to me every night. If there was nothing we were doing, Iâd spend the whole day on her lap as she read the books of my choosing aloud to me. One of the last things she told me was that I was so similar to my father, both in nature and appearance. And more than anything else, she was kind.â
âYou miss her, donât you?â
âYes. I miss her a lot.â
âYour grandma sounds like an amazing person,â you sleepily mumble. âI would have liked to meet her.â
The last thing you hear before finally drifting off is Alhaithamâs whispered response.
âShe would have liked to meet you too.â
And the next night, the conversation is equally as heavy.
âHey, Haitham.â
âWhat is it?â he whispers back.
âDo you think that.. I donât know, that Iâm not quite who I used to be?â
Alhaitham sets his pen down.
âWhat do you mean by that?â
âDo you think Iâve changed in more ways than one?â
âWell, youâre less annoying now.â
You give him a well-deserved jab on the bicep with the end of your pen. Much to your annoyance, he doesnât even flinch and continues.Â
âThe way I see it, change is inevitable. We all fight and run from it, but it eventually catches up with us. It is neither good nor bad. Rather, itâs what you make of it. But to answer your question, yes. Youâve matured more mentally. Youâve realized thereâs more to life now. Youâre learning how to live life on your own terms now, arenât you?â
Your silence tells him everything he needs to know.Â
âTell me, Haitham. What do you wish for?â
Alhaitham is a simple man with few desires. If all his basic needs and simple wants of books and time to himself are met, then he is content. But your question has him thinking. Is there anything else he wants in his life?Â
And it turns out the answer is yes.Â
âRegardless of how things turn out in the future, Iâd like to be able to continue talking to you like this. Thatâs my wish.â
Kaveh stirs in his sleep. Thamina rolls over and makes biscuits on your lap. A small smile creeps onto your face. You turn away and resume your work. He does the same.
Itâs a mundane scene- two Akademiya students pulling another all-nighter to complete their work. And yetâŠÂ
Yes, this is what I want, Alhaitham thinks to himself. Everything I could ever want means nothing if you arenât here.Â
The spring semester comes around and with that comes the finals grind. Youâve thrown yourself into your studies in a last-minute attempt to save, in your opinion, your failing grades since you arenât at the top of your class anymore. (Alhaitham thinks youâre insane- youâre still in the top five.) As if to rub it in your face, you get a letter from your family one day.
We heard that youâre no longer at the top of your class. What happened?Â
Your eyes and mind glazed over the rest of the letter until the end.
Study harder. You can end it the same way you did last year if you would spend more time on it. Donât get distracted now.Â
A rare instance of frustration flashes through you and before you know it, youâve ripped up the letter and tossed it in the trash.Â
Who told them that anyway?Â
âLisa⊠graduated early?â
The news comes to you over dinner one day when you ask where Lisa is upon realizing sheâs not there. Youâve just finished all your finals and you want nothing more than to relax and catch up on some sleep, but news regarding your best friend makes you temporarily forget about those plans.Â
Cyno nods. âItâs a whole thing now. Theyâre saying sheâs the best student the Akademiya has had in the past 200 years. Once in a generation is what theyâre calling her now.â
You bite your lip and look away. A weak âtell her I said congratulationsâ is all you can get out as envy begins festering deep within you. Youâre ashamed of yourself- sheâs your best friend, for Archonâs sake, you should be feeling excited for her- but you just canât.
Why couldnât it have been me instead?Â
You end your second year third in the class, with Alhaitham at the top.
âWelcome home, (Name).â
The house is a little chilly when you step inside. Dinner has already been prepared- itâs sitting on the table- but it looks like it was made some time ago. Your father ushers you into the kitchen, where your mother waits expectantly, her lips stretched into a thin smile when she sees you.Â
There are the usual dinnertime conversations- how has your day been? Fine, yours? Same old, same old- but they feel stiffer than usual. It doesnât flow and you find yourself internally wincing at the heavy silence between you.
âSo.â
You pause and look up at your mother, who has finally broken the awkward silence surrounding the kitchen table.
âWe heard you⊠didnât do so well at the Akademiya this year.âÂ
You freeze and internally brace yourself for what is to come.
âOnly third this year? (Name), you were first last year, how come you couldnât place first again? Thatâs not so hard, is it? You just have to put some effort in, stop being so lazy, and youâll do fine! Besides, itâs only your second year, what could be so difficult about it? We know youâre smart and that you couldâve easily been first again. Youâre just getting complacent, thatâs all! Do you really want that Alhaitham to beat you at your own game? How humiliating would that be for us? Think of the embarrassment we, your poor mother and father, would face from others in the Akademiya- our golden child (Name), who was once someone people aspired to be, but now nothing but a disappointment!â
âYour motherâs right, (Name),â says your father. âWe have high expectations for you, or should I say, had.âÂ
Their disappointment cuts deep into your soul, yet something quietly snaps inside you. You glare at them one more time before slipping away.
âIâm not hungry anymore. Iâve lost my appetite.â
You go to your childhood room and lock the door behind you. Your parentsâ voices- most definitely talking about you- drift up the stairs and you do your best to tune them out. As if to mock you, hanging on the wall across from you are all the awards you won at academic competitions throughout your life. Trophies, ribbons, certificates, and medals line every bit of space available, all of them with your name and a first-place title proudly engraved onto them.
Now that you think about it, were you really happy with being the best? Your younger self would laugh and say âof course!â, but why exactly?Â
And then the realization hits you. You personally felt nothing being the best at everything. The title, the fake smiles, and the forced compliments from others- they couldnât mean less to you.
You were only happy because your parents were happy. Were you ever happy with yourself- with who you were as a person? You donât know.
Stars live for an incredibly long time, but they too must die out one day. Their reserves of hydrogen gas will inevitably run out and they will either go out with a bang or a fizzle depending on their size. Larger stars go out in a blaze of glory, expanding up to several times their size before exploding and bathing the universe in the remains of their supernova for eons to come, while smaller ones condense from the gravity pushing inward and shrink down into a cold white dwarf, destined to drift across the universe alone for the rest of time. That is your fate, yet you do not know it yet. The last of your fuel has finally been spent, and the end is nigh. Whether you will go out with a bang or fade into obscurity is something only time will tell.Â
Youâve had enough of the stifling atmosphere in the house.
Itâs only been a few days since summer vacation began and youâre already at your witâs end. The heavy silence hanging in the air and their passive-aggressive comments toward you make you want to tear your hair out. Or run away. Maybe both.Â
There are still lots of days left before you start class again. Surely thereâs something you can do until thenâŠ
And then it hits you: traveling throughout Sumeru! You were born and raised in the city, but youâve rarely ventured outside of its borders. This could be a good chance to expand your horizons and gain experience!
So without further ado, you pack your bags, plan a route, and begin your adventures. Most of the time, youâd leave at dawn before your parents woke up and return late at night after theyâd fallen asleep. Sometimes, you wouldnât return for days, instead choosing to camp outside or stay at a friendâs house for a while. From what youâve heard through your neighbors and friends, your parents donât seem to care what youâre doing either. Some of your friends even say that they look happier now that youâre out of the house. The notion stings, but you donât dwell on it for too long.
Thereâs a strange sense of peace you feel throughout your travels thatâs foreign to you. Whether itâs camping out underneath the stars or scaling a rocky cliffside, youâve never felt more attuned to yourself than now. You gradually discover more about yourself that you otherwise would have never known. You like stargazing even more after seeing the expanse of the night sky and all its stars for the first time without the light pollution of the city. You like to swim, as demonstrated when you dove headfirst into a river for the first time and felt the cool waters wash over your skin. Youâre decently skilled with a bow and arrow after Tighnari gives you some lessons and his old bow to keep yourself safe on your travels.
Most importantly, you discover how to find happiness by yourself. After being told your whole life what you could and couldnât do, being able to take control of your life was a liberating feeling.Â
You end up seeing Alhaitham quite a bit during this time. Strangely enough, he was always one of the first people youâd see returning back to Sumeru City. Heâd always give you a subtle nod when he noticed you staring at him before leaving. Sometimes, heâd even be there to wish you a safe trip- no, not sometimes- almost all of the time. Itâs basically a given that heâll be there to see you off at this point. How he hears about it every time, you have no idea but you arenât complaining.Â
âLeaving early as always, I see. Where to this time, (Name)?â
You pause from checking your supplies to see Alhaitham standing behind you.
âIâm heading down to Gandharva Ville to spend some time in the rainforest. But youâre up this early just to wish me a safe trip? I didnât take you for a morning person.â
âIâm not. But someone should see you off each time, and if your parents wonât do it, then I will.â
âY-You⊠how did you know?â
âKnow what?â he asks while stepping around to help you with your bag. âAll I know is that Iâve never seen them send you off or welcome you back.â
âSo be it then,â you grumble. âItâs not as if I care.â
So he doesnât know about our strained relationship yet, you muse to yourself. Thatâs surprising, considering how big mother and fatherâs social circle isâŠÂ
âYouâre all set now. Best you head off before it gets too hot.â
âI will. You take care as well.â
He watches you leave through the city gates until youâre no longer in sight. A rare expression of longing crosses his face then and only after lingering for a few more moments (with his eyes trained on where you once were) does he leave.Â
He was lying when he pretended to be unaware of your family situation. When youâre hailed as one of the best scholars in recent times in a land that has a borderline fanatical dedication to academics, everything pertaining to you will be scrutinized and monitored. Your sudden decision to leave Sumeru for extended periods of time, and the way your parents refused to talk about you or changed the topic whenever you came up⊠it wasnât hard to put two and two together.Â
For your sake, Alhaitham hopes you would return later rather than sooner so you wouldnât have to hear what was being said about you.Â
âYou seem to have gotten good at this,â he remarks over coffee and desserts when you return several weeks later. Alhaitham notices youâve put on some muscle. There are some new scars and the bow slung on your back is an unfamiliar sight as well. âYou would be a perfect candidate for the Adventurerâs Guild.âÂ
You laugh. âNah, itâs not for me. As much as I enjoy traveling, I donât think I could earn my living through it, plus I wonât be able to keep it up once Iâm all old and wrinkly.â
âTell me about your adventures though. Where did you go?â
Your eyes light up and you begin rambling excitedly about your travels. You go into great detail about your time spent in the Avidya Forest and your spontaneous decision to travel to Liyue, which catches him off-guard.
âLiyue?â he repeats when you mention it. âSo thatâs why you were gone for several weeks instead of days. Iâve never been there before. Tell me, what was it like?â
Your smile grows even bigger and your eyes may as well have been stars from how brightly they were shining.
âOh, you shouldâve seen the architecture- actually, wait, I should be telling Kaveh this- but it was so pretty! The food was super good too and a friend I made shared some of her recipes with me. I have a feeling that youâll like them so I can teach you some other time! Ooh, and you canât miss the scenery for the world! Personally, my favorite wasâŠâ
Youâre so caught up in reliving and telling your adventures that you fail to miss the fond look in his eyes and the rare hint of a smile that stretches across his face.Â
Youâre halfway through recounting your way back home through the Chasm when you happen to glance at the clock and the realization begins to set in.
âI have to get going now,â you explain as you hurriedly gather your belongings. âIâm meeting up with some other friends in a bit. But thanks for the coffee and sweets. Hopefully, Iâll see you around again sometime soon?â
The chime above the door jingles as you rush outside and Alhaitham is left alone with his thoughts. With a deep sigh, he takes a look out the window and decides to address the thoughts about you that have been on his mind lately.Â
Youâre annoying, thereâs no doubt about that. You love to push his buttons and purposefully irritate him. Youâre an overachiever and you care too much about what other people think. For the longest time, your whole personality consisted of your academic accomplishments and nothing else. Youâre a people pleaser and you long for acceptance and praise from others- two things he thinks are utterly useless coming from other people. The moment someone questions your abilities, regardless of who it is, you begin to second-guess yourself and waver. Ridiculous, in his opinion. You know your worth and skills better than anyone else, so why are you letting their baseless accusations affect you? Youâre easily affected by rumors and your self-worth is determined by what others think of you.Â
But you have a warm and welcoming demeanor thatâs rare in the cutthroat halls of the Akademiya that draws others to you like a moth to a flame. You enjoy traveling and you have a major soft spot for animals, especially cats. Whenever youâre in the city, you always stop to pet all the strays roaming around, no matter how long it takes. You enjoy sweets- not the overly cloying kind, but the ones that have a touch of sweetness to the point where you can just taste it. Your favorite dessert is the Padisarah Pudding sold in the Grand Bazaar and heâs stopped by so often that the vendor knows his name, face, and order by now. Youâre more of a tea person than a coffee person, but he has your coffee order memorized just in case (iced, with two sugars, a splash of milk, and rosewater) and heâs the one that has been mysteriously supplying your favorite tea whenever itâs running low. He notices you like to ramble about things youâre passionate about (and he willingly- gladly- listens too).Â
And heâs come to realize that maybe youâre not as insufferable as he thought you were. You have a brilliant mind and youâre one of the few that isnât put off by his blunt nature. You donât just tolerate him- you appreciate him, flaws and everything.Â
Youâve always been envious of him- heâs known that ever since he met you. Because of him, you have strived to prove yourself as better in all aspects. A stupid rivalry is what it started off as with your pride getting the best of both of you. But throughout these three years, youâve only brought out the best in each other.
At this point, he doesnât feel complete without you.Â
Heâs well aware of the question hanging over peopleâs minds whenever they see the both of you together. You are the sun, the golden child of your parents who are renowned within the Akademiya and held to the highest level of scrutiny. Their judging gazes, eyes that fixate on every move of yours, comments whispered behind your back- you take them all in stride. Meanwhile, Alhaithamâs presence is glossed over when youâre there. To many, he is just another Akademiya student that they will see in passing and forget about immediately. In that aspect, he is the moon that hides from others. Those who were acquainted with his parents or his late grandmother may recognize him and speak with him, but he mostly goes unnoticed and ignored.Â
But free from the prying eyes of others, Alhaitham is able to sleep peacefully at night. Your fitful sleep, on the other hand, is plagued with dreams of what-ifs and the looming fear of disappointment from others. Youâve always succeeded, not because you craved success, but because you feared failure and how others would react.
The rising moon admires the sun because of the boundless love they receive from others. On the other hand, the setting sun is envious of the moon for his sweetest dreams that they can only long for.
You enter your third year with a sense of apprehension that wasnât there before. Your high hopes for yourself are still there, but theyâve been dashed considerably. But despite your lack of ambition now and your experiences from last year, you still (attempt to) throw yourself into your studies, knowing that this year is where the challenge begins. Your first two years were just warmups, or nothing, according to your parents.Â
Your first few weeks go well, but before you know it, you find yourself lost and overwhelmed by the material.
I⊠donât understand any of this. But how could this be? Iâve spent so much time.Â
Your test scores donât reflect your efforts either.
45%. 50%. 63% 67%. 55%. 38%.
âDamn it!â
You slam your fist onto your desk table as the results of another failed test greet you. You had spent so much time preparing for this one, only for your efforts to be rewarded with a slap to the face.Â
You canât keep going like this. You need help, and desperately at that, but you canât bring yourself to ask for it.Â
Youâre smarter than everyone else, you donât need help, a familiar voice comes into your mind. Youâre the pride and joy of our family because of your grades. Donât let us down now.Â
You look out the window, the heat still simmering in your stomach.
âWhat a load of bullshit.âÂ
â... I saw your test scores earlier today.âÂ
You glare at Alhaitham with poison in your gaze that was never there until now. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels strangely uneasy, like his body is warning him to stop.Â
âAnd? Here to mock me for it?â
âNo. On the contrary, I want to offer you my help.âÂ
Oh, the humiliation. Look at how far youâve fallen.Â
âForget it,â you snap. âI donât need your help.â
You get up and leave, slamming the doors shut behind you. It echoes through the House of Daena and the other students there turn to stare at Alhaitham in silent shock. Heâs stunned too. Although you can have quite the sharp tongue at times, youâve never lashed out at him like that before.Â
A few weeks later, the results of another test are announced. Alhaithamâs name sits at the top like it always has. His name is on everyoneâs tongue as they jealously grumble over the results once again. His eyes examine the list, searching for one name in particular, until he finds yours at the bottom of it.
He pauses, then turns around in time to see you storming out. He doesnât miss the looks your classmates give you- mocking, ridiculing, scornful, and disgusted sneers that relish in your downfall. The jealous grumbles about him now turn into titters and sneering whispers with your name now being trampled upon by those that used to extol your virtues. Itâs all noise and it grates his ears until he canât stand it anymore.
âWhat a waste of time.â
The noise stops and everyone turns to look at him.Â
âYou all have the energy to complain about your own scores while making a laughing stock of someone else. Itâd be better spent on improving your own scores- unless youâre just that incompetent?â
Later that night as youâre studying, you get a message from your parents through your Akasha. Itâs the first time youâve gotten anything from them all year. After hesitating, you open the message.
Itâs short and simple but your heart sinks and your temper flares after reading it. You rip your Akasha Terminal off and toss it to the side.Â
Donât come home this year.Â
âI need your help. Iâm asking for a friend.â
Alhaitham looks over his book at you. Itâs the first time heâs seen you all week and to be frank, you look awful. Your hair is a mess, your uniform is wrinkled, and your skin looks dry and dull.
âDo I know them? If not, then I wonât help.â
You roll your eyes and throw your hands up exasperatedly. âOk fine, yes, you know them.â
âWell, why wonât they just ask me themselves? Why trouble you?â
âWhatever, it doesnât matter right now. Just answer the damn question.â
He leans back and knowingly looks at you.Â
âTheyâre going through a tough time right now,â you explain, choosing each of your words carefully. âThey arenât doing good in their classes and theyâre trying to get back on track, but they donât know how to.â
â... This is for you, isnât it?â
Damn, he saw right through you. Were you that obvious?
Alhaitham goes back to reading his book. âI canât say I would be of any use here. After all, Iâve never been in that position nor would I let myself get there.âÂ
You feel your temper flare once more. You clench your jaw and try to reign in your anger before speaking to him.Â
âWell, duh. Youâre also not helping either.â
âReally? I think itâs a perfectly reasonable answer.â
âPut yourself in my shoes for once, would you?â
He sets his book down and looks at you.
âYou asked me for my advice and I told you what I would do in that situation. I donât understand why youâre getting upset.â
âThatâs because itâs not the answer Iâm looking for!â
âThatâs on you for expecting others to somehow know what you want without telling them.â
âYou-!â
You groan and run your hands through your hair. Is it just you or is he being more insufferable today? Canât he read the room for once?Â
He continues. âIf you wanted someone to only tell you what you wanted to hear, a mirror would be a better audience.â
âAlhaitham, all Iâm asking from you is a little empathy. Is that so hard to have?â
âAnd is it so hard for you to stop throwing a hissy fit just because I didnât tell you what you wanted to hear?â
His words are all spite and knives meant to hurt. They lack the usual lighthearted tone he has with you. You feel it coming- the barbed words that are poised to strike and cut deep, but it doesnât help when he begins speaking again.Â
 âYou asked for my help and I gave you advice. Youâre not in a position to be complaining here.âÂ
âYeah, well, your âadviceâ isnât what most people would consider as help.â
He scoffs and looks away before looking at you once more- like heâs looking down on you, you realize. Thereâs something akin to disgust and impatience in his gaze that makes you freeze despite all your sharp words earlier.Â
âHow irrational could you be? You reject everyoneâs help even though you need it and you donât listen to anybodyâs suggestions. Youâre too caught up in the conception that youâre always right and everyone else is always wrong. Youâre childish, (Name), thatâs what you are. Youâre like a child still naive and ignorant, content with playing with their toys and games and ignoring reality. Youâre not cut out for the Akademiya. You never were.â
He laughs and now you realize just how much it hurts when itâs directed toward you.Â
âAnd youâre telling me that my ego is overinflated. No wonder youâre failing everything. Archons, (Name), youâre utterly hopeless. What did I ever see in you?â
The silence that fills the space afterward is enough to make Alhaitham immediately regret his words. You angrily glare at him and Alhaithamâs heart sinks when he recognizes the emotion present in your eyes.
Utter hate.
â... For all these years, I've heard so many rumors about you but chose to brush them off,â you begin. âI was so stupid! I should have listened to them! They say youâre cold and heartless and only now do I realize that they were right. They say youâre not human from how cruel you are- archons, dammit! Look at me!â
The sudden demand makes Alhaitham nervously glance toward you after avoiding your gaze this entire time. You sniff and wipe away the few tears that managed to spill over. Losing your composure in front of him, the perfect and poised genius, was already humiliating enough, but you hold his gaze long enough to let him see. Let him witness the results of his own actions and the prospect of losing someone he cared about (all over again).
âYouâre an absolutely horrible person, Alhaitham. I hope you remember this.â
Alhaitham. Itâs the first time youâve used his full name ever since you befriended him and the implications of it sting.Â
He reaches out toward you. âWait-â
You slap his hand away.Â
âNo, weâre done here. I thought you could at least understand, but youâre just as uncaring and self-centered as everyone else here. And I once thought that you were better than anyone else here, but only now do I realize how stupid I was."
You laugh sardonically one last time.
âMy parents were right. They would have been so much happier if you were their child.â
Alhaitham doesnât see you again for several weeks after that. Itâs as if youâre purposefully avoiding him and it gets to a point where heâs beginning to get concerned about your health and safety.Â
Currently, heâs meeting with Tighnari. Out of everyone, the fox hybrid had the highest chance of knowing with his keen sense of hearing.
âIâm concerned about (Name).â
Tighnariâs ears twitch in response.Â
âThey arenât the same person anymore. Youâve seen it too.â
The fox hybrid sadly nods. âTheyâve been consumed by rage and self-hate. I see it in their eyes and the way they lash out. Theyâre angry at themselves and at everyone around them and itâs completely understandable considering the situation and the response of those they trusted most. Still, itâs not healthy if they continue like this. Speaking of which, were they always this temperamental?â
Alhaitham shakes his head. âNo. To be clear, theyâve always had a sharp tongue but it was always lighthearted. They only started getting truly angry this year.â
âLashing out or displaying signs of anger is often a common symptom of burnout. Iâm fairly confident thatâs what (Name) has. Specifically, academic burnout. But Iâm sure you already knew that, didnât you?â
Alhaitham uncomfortably avoids Tighnariâs prying eyes.Â
Tighnariâs eyes narrow. âLook, (Name) is a great friend to me as well, but why are you telling me about this? Youâre in their Darshan so shouldnât you know more?â
âI havenât heard anything about them either. I got concerned after they didnât show up at the library for a week. From what Iâve heard, they havenât been showing up to class either for the past few weeks, which is strange for them. Iâm asking around- maybe Iâll find something out that way.â
Tighnari shakes his head. âSadly, I donât know why either. If it helps, some people have said they havenât even seen them. Not just at the library or at class but in general. Itâs almost as if theyâve just⊠disappeared.â
Thereâs a moment of silence that passes between them. Tighnari stares at Alhaitham curiously and he rests his chin on his hands.
Alhaitham doesnât have a good feeling about thisâŠ
âSpeaking of which, does the fight from earlier have anything to do with this?â
âYou knew?â
âPlease. When two of my closest friends get into an argument as big as that, Iâm bound to find out eventually. So, did it have anything to do with this?â
â... Yes,â he admits. âI feel guilty and I want to apologize to them.âÂ
âWell, better late than never,â grumbles Tighnari under his breath. The stink eye he sends his way doesnât go unnoticed by Alhaitham.Â
âWhy do you care for them so much?â
The question comes out of nowhere and leaves him reeling.Â
âI suppose itâs⊠because I consider them a friend?â
Archons, that answer sounds even more pathetic out loud than it did in his head and Tighnari knows it.Â
Tighnari heaves a long sigh that makes Alhaitham pause.
âYou absolute lummox!â he snaps. âI always knew you were somewhat emotionally constipated but I didnât think youâd be this denseâŠâ
He suddenly stands up and stares the ashen-haired male in the eye, his tone softer this time.Â
âYouâre in love with them, Alhaitham. Thatâs what youâve been feeling lately.â
Alhaitham immediately scoffs. âNo, that canât possibly be-â
âYou, who hates sharing what you consider yours, share your notes with them.â
âItâs a win-win situation for both of us. Weâre in the same Darshan and weâll be able to learn better from each other.â
âBut them, specifically, when there are countless others that would kill for the chance to learn from you?â
âThey can figure the material out themselves. Plus, I stand to gain no benefit from what they have to offer.â
âWhat, so only (Name) can keep up with you?â
âPrecisely.âÂ
Tighnari sees the opening Alhaitham has created and takes advantage of it.
âAre you sure that youâre still rivals? Even though (Name) isâŠâ
âOf course. Itâs been like that since day one.â
âHuh, thatâs interesting. Because from what I know, academic rivals donât go out to lunch together. They donât go stargazing even though a certain someone finds it mind-numbingly boring. They donât sneak out past curfew and break Akademiya rules on a daily basis, and they certainly donât spend hefty chunks of Mora to make the other happy.âÂ
Tighnari has Alhaitham backed into a corner and he knows it.Â
âKaveh knows as well.â
âAnd?â
âAnd you still let yourself get roped into his schemes to make them happy. Look, I know this isnât a good time to bring him up consideringâŠâ
He gestures at the empty space, a silent indication of Kaveh and Alhaithamâs broken friendship.Â
âBut thereâs no denying that Kaveh did and still does care about you. Why else would he be willing to put in so much time and effort to make them happy? Because in addition to being their friend, he knows that when theyâre happy, you are as well. And if that doesnât mean something, then, I donât know what else does.â
âWeâre just friends,â he argues once again. Tighnari glares at him.
âYouâre an idiot to think it doesnât go deeper than that. You also saw them off every single time during the summer.â
âThatâs what friends do. Besides, their parents should have-â
âUh-huh. Go on, keep lying to yourself like that. Do I have to hit you over the head with a brick in order for you to realize your own feelings? Youâre sounding like a broken record here.âÂ
âI-â
âThereâs no use in denying or lying to us, Alhaitham. Weâre your friends, after all. But the one whoâs going to have to decide what to do next is you.â
He gets up and gives Alhaitham a pat on the shoulder. Before leaving, he looks at him one last time.
âItâs going to hurt even more when you lose them for good. Youâll only wish you could have done something sooner. But I think you already know that by now, right, Alhaitham?â
âDo you know where (Name) is?â
Itâs a rare occasion today- Alhaitham actually showed up for class. But it wasnât to listen to whatever the professor had to say- no, it was to ask your classmates where you went. Heâs been trying every day to find you, but only to no avail.Â
Heâs gained some valuable information, however. Your roommate moved out a while ago, leaving you the sole occupant of your dorm room. He also managed to find your dorm room number after asking some of your âfriendsâ, who after relentless prying, reluctantly opened up.Â
âI canât say for sure, but I heard theyâre in the hospital. They somehow ended up there over the weekend.âÂ
âThe hospital?â he repeats. âDo you know why?â
âNo idea. Sorry.â
He shows up at the Birmarstan after the class ends, fully expecting to see you. He gives the nurse his name and a few minutes later, she returns with an apologetic smile.Â
âSorry, but the patient is not accepting visitors at this time.â
A slight pause. Barely perceptible.
âI see.â
You look at the window to see Alhaithamâs retreating form. The nurse enters your room a few minutes later and crosses her arms.
âHeâs the first person whoâs asked to visit you ever since you came in. Iâm surprised- I thought youâd get more. Most people usually do.â
You pull the covers over your head and roll over. Such is the way of life in the Akademiya. Friendships were formed out of convenience as a way to climb up the ladder later in life. As soon as you were no longer useful or fell from grace like you did, others were quick to abandon you without a second thought.Â
So why did Alhaitham visit then? To you, your relationship (as enemies? Friends? Or evenâŠ) was built solely on how you could assist each other, and nothing more. By your prior logic, there is no logical reason why he should visit you.
UnlessâŠÂ
âIs there any reason why you didnât want to see him in particular?â
Even if your hypothesis proved to be true, it doesnât excuse or undo the hurt he caused.
âHeâs the last person I want to see right now.â
A few days after being discharged from Birmarstan, thereâs a knock from the door that wakes you up from your sleep. Still disoriented, you look up and roll over, opting to ignore it and go back to sleep.
The knocking continues. You cover your ear with a pillow and squeeze your eyes shut even more.
âI know youâre there, (Name). Several people told me so.â
Shit, itâs the last person you want to see right now. Your mood sours instantly and now youâre fully awake.Â
âWhat do you want?â you snap.Â
âI just want to talk.â
It doesnât seem like heâll be going away anytime soon, so you get up, kicking the trash that litters the floor to the side, and carefully cracking open the door. He looks down to see you. You pull the sleeves of your shirt down as he does so.Â
âCan I come in?â
You look behind at the mess that is your dorm.
â... Itâs not exactly clean right now.â
âThat doesnât matter to me.â
You flick the lights on and hide the worst of the trash underneath your bed. He follows you, his gaze traveling around the room. He notices the side with the unoccupied bed is considerably cleaner (that must have been your roommateâs before they moved out, he reasons) and your desk looks like it hasnât been used in a while. He takes a seat at it and examines the table. Your Akasha Terminal is lying in the corner and collecting dust. Your textbook is open to a section that was taught a while ago and it looks like you just started taking notes.Â
(Although, the frustrated scribbles that occupy most of the page have him concerned. Additionally, certain parts of the paper are wrinkled, as if they have dried after getting wet. The shape and spot where they are concentrated in is another cause for concern as well. Were you⊠crying?)
You pull the covers over your form and glare at him.Â
âWell? What did you want to tell me?â
âIâm sorry.â
You pause, then shake your head.
âThat alone wonât be enough.â
âI know. And thatâs why-â
He gulps, his voice shaking toward the end. Itâs just a simple apology, so why is he so nervous?
(But deep down he knows the real answer: this is his last chance to ask you for forgiveness before losing you for good. And it was the thought of losing you, the one that had managed to worm their way into his heart and appreciate him that scared him the most.)Â
âIâm sorry. I really am. I shouldnât have said those things back then. I should have been more understanding of your struggles and, like you said, had some more empathy. I realize that I am far from an ideal friend in many peopleâs eyes and if you feel the same, I will not hold that against you.â
His chest tightens and he subconsciously looks away.
âIâm aware of how people see me- valuing logic above all with a mind fueled by equations and facts over feelings. A genius with no regard or need for others. But Iâm still human. I feel regret and remorse the same way as anyone else. I know when Iâve messed up and when I need to apologize. Now is one of those times, more than ever.âÂ
You turn around and open the blinds, letting the light flood the room before sitting back down, watching him carefully.Â
âI donât want to forgive you. Do you have any idea how long your words lingered for?â
The words sting Alhaitham. Your voice shakes and you feel the familiar burning sensation in your eyes.Â
âBut I know you. I know your bluntness and sharp tongue. You often say hurtful things but donât mean them. Youâre stubborn and slow when it comes to apologizing, even if the guilt eats away at you. You donât wear your heart on your sleeve and youâre not one to dish out praises, leading others to believe that youâre cold and unsympathetic.â
You suddenly lean in, staring into the eyes that had kept you awake at night for so long. His eyes widen slightly and you smile faintly to yourself.Â
âBut I like to think that Iâve gotten to know you a bit. You show that you care with your actions, not your words, but that takes time- time that most people arenât willing to give because of their first impression of you. You take the time to learn about the people you care about and prefer acts of service to words of affirmation and physical touch as your love language. You show that you care in a way of your own.
âSo yes. I forgive you.â
Alhaitham finds himself sighing with relief. Yet a question still lingers in the back of his mind.
âWhy?â
And there it is again, for the first time in a long time. Your smile. Itâs a little stiff and awkward, as if you havenât smiled in a long time, but itâs undoubtedly yours.Â
âThe same reason. I missed you too.âÂ
And now begins the uncomfortable process of recovery.Â
âHow long were you gone for?â
â... Longer than Iâd like to admit. Catching up is going to be a difficult task, isnât it?â
âI wonât sugarcoat it; youâve missed a lot.â Alhaitham flips through your books and notes from prior years. âHowever, you have a strong foundation from your earlier years. That should help you. But first, let me ask you a few questions so I can outline a study plan for you.â
You raise your eyebrows at his statement.
âYouâre taking this quite seriously, arenât you?â
âNaturally,â he replies. âWhy wouldnât I?â
âKnowing you, youâre not the kind of person to go out of your way for others,â you grumble. âSo going to such lengths just for meâŠâÂ
âYou discredit me if you think that I would do that. But why do you think you felt burnt-out in the first place?â
You look out the window and think for a bit.
â... I think itâs because of my own pride. Had I asked for help earlier on, I have a feeling I wouldnât be in this position, or things would be better, at least,â you admit.Â
âBut itâs more than that, isnât it?â
You sigh and hold your hands out in defeat. âYou surely know more than youâre letting on. But I think itâs also because I never learned how to study.â
Alhaitham pauses at that. âReally?â
Thereâs no mockery or derision in his question- just curiosity.Â
âPeople goaded me on as a gifted child and I was expected to somehow know how to do everything perfectly the first time, you know? Itâs just how things were.â
âWell, thatâs something we can fix for sure.â
Your first few days back are the worst. Whispers and stares follow you wherever you go and your professors, who once showered you with praises, look at you strangely or even ignore you.Â
âDonât mind them,â he says when he notices you sulking in the library later that day. âYou and I both know thatâs just the way the Akademiya is. Weâll see who gets the last laugh.âÂ
Much to the envy of your classmates, he also personally tutors you in all your classes. He accompanies you to all your classes (even the ones he isnât taking) and sits in on them, whispering and writing little notes of clarification and elaboration.Â
Bit by bit, you see your scores slowly improve. Alhaitham teaches you an array of study techniques, many of which have been personally vetted by him.
âTry each of them out,â he says. âDifferent techniques work for different people. There is something out there that works for you.â
Heâs able to bear witness to the fruits of your labor one day when he hears your excited footsteps running toward him.
âHaitham, look!â
You practically shove several papers into his face. âI got a perfect score on the latest exam! And guess what? I tied with you, meaning that I also placed first!â
A rare smile, solely reserved for your eyes, creeps onto his face.Â
âGood job. Your score is well-deserved after all the hard work youâve been putting in.â
He sees it now. Slowly but surely, youâre regaining bits and pieces of your old self. Youâll never be exactly who you once were, but thatâs ok. Youâll pick the broken yet salvageable parts up and put them together to create something new yet still distinctly you.
He only looks forward to seeing what youâll become in the future.Â
Youâve finally graduated.
Itâs a joyous occasion today, filled with speeches, hugs, and promises to keep in touch. Families and friends crowd outside the Akademiya to congratulate their loved ones. The diploma in your hands and the cords around your shoulders are a sign of your achievements and your persistence despite all the roadblocks you faced along the way.Â
Your heart feels simultaneously burdened and relieved. You had graduated squarely in the middle of the class. You knew it was something to be proud of, yet that part of your former self that you could never suppress couldnât help but feel disappointed.Â
Not that it really bothered you anyway. When you walked across the stage to the smattering of applause accompanying your name, you had immediately locked eyes with Alhaitham in the crowd. He was clapping, but what caught your attention the most was the smile he sent your way. It wasnât one of his once in a blue moon microscopic ones.
No. It was one where you could see a sliver of his teeth and where the edges of his eyes crinkled from it, the sight of which sent your heart ablaze. There was pride in his gaze and in that moment, you felt as if everything had been worth it- even if it wasnât the outcome you expected.Â
And when he walked across the stage, you were the one to clap for him the loudest.Â
You push your way through the heavy crowds, searching for one person in particular. Heâs not anywhere in the crowd, so you head down the walkway and there you see him. Heâs waiting for you with a large bouquet of flowers in his arms.
âTook you long enough,â he remarks. Alhaitham holds out the flowers to you and you accept them gratefully.Â
âOh, you remembered my favorite flowers!â you exclaim as you examine the bouquet. âI have something for you as well.â
You hand him an envelope and he eyes it curiously when a voice interrupts you.Â
â(Name).â
You hear an awkward cough behind you and you turn to see your parents. They stand there awkwardly, fidgeting with their hastily-purchased bouquet of flowers that pales in comparison to what Alhaitham got you.Â
(You donât even like the kind of flowers your parents got for you and youâve told them that beforeâŠ)Â
âCongratulations on gradu-â
âOh, you must be Alhaitham!â
Your motherâs sudden remark takes all of you by surprise. She rushes forward and eagerly shakes his hand.
âIâve heard so much about you! You just graduated and youâve already made a name for yourself in Sumeru as a genius! How incredible is that? Ah, if only my child here could learn from you, but theyâve already graduated, so itâs a little too late for that nowâŠâ
You bite your lip and look away. The action doesnât go unnoticed by Alhaitham. He retracts his hand.Â
âIt was nice to meet you. Weâll be taking our leave now.â
âWeâll?âÂ
Alhaitham ignores them in favor of holding your hand and leading you away.
âI think a celebration is in order. The owner of the stall that sells your favorite Padisarah Pudding is offering us free dessert today.âÂ
The heaviness that was hanging over you just a moment ago is now gone.
âFree desserts? Iâm in!â
âThen itâs settled.âÂ
Later that night, Alhaitham remembers the letter you gave him earlier and pulls it out. He glances at the clock. Thereâs still time before he has to leave and meet up with you.
Dear Alhaitham,
Thank you for being by my side throughout these four years when no one else was. I owe my entire academic career to you. Perhaps even my entire life. I donât know if Iâd be writing this letter if it werenât for you.Â
When I saw you on the first day, I wondered what you were doing here. You were short, scrawny, and shy back then. I thought you were one of those child prodigies. Who knew youâd turn out to be the buff man skilled with the sword that I know todayâŠÂ
Honestly, I didnât think that you would help me. You were the envy of our class, unlike me. I wouldnât be surprised and I wouldnât blame you if all that praise got to your head. I guess I didnât know you well enough back then, though, because you defied all of my expectations. Not only did you not care for status or fame, you also took time out of your own day (which I know you hate doing) for me.Â
You really are an enigma, Haitham. Youâre a person with several layers and hidden secrets like an intricately-designed mechanism. But I think thatâs one of the reasons that drew me to you. Everyone has their own secrets and burdens. By slowly learning more about each other, you learn more about yourself.Â
You and I, we are inseparable now. Earlier today, I had someone come up to me and ask where you were. They were surprised that you werenât next to me like always. At first glance, we seem more different than similar, especially with our contrasting personalities. But take a closer look and theyâll see that we share more in common than in differences. Opposites attract, but similarities bind.Â
Like those dusty old philosophers and figures that we had to learn about in class, we are parallels of each other. You are simultaneously my biggest critic and supporter. My biggest rival and confidant. My biggest headache and source of comfort.Â
But most importantly, you are my biggest friend.Â
Remember that one night where I asked you what you wished for? You had said that you wanted to keep talking to me regardless of how things turned out in the future. I didnât really have a response at the time, but now I finally do.
My wish is selfish. I wish for you to stay the way you are. A little arrogant, blunt, curious, and caring in your own way. Because I canât imagine a future without you in it now.Â
With all my love,
(Name)
The house is too quiet for Alhaithamâs liking. He appreciates silence when working and Kavehâs incessant noise from working on projects at midnight is downright irritating, but there is a time and place for everything.
Now is not that time. Thamina is sleeping on the cushion next to him. Kaveh is out in a meeting with a client (for once) and youâre-
âIâm home!â
Speak of the devil, there you are. Thaminaâs eyes open and she jumps off the cushion to greet you with a loud meow and a head rub against your legs. Alhaitham takes his headphones off and sets his book down before getting up to greet you after a long journey back from Mondstadt. Youâre tired, your uniform is wrinkled, and your Kamera has been hastily shoved back into its case, but Alhaitham has never been more grateful to see you.Â
âMissed me?â
âYouâve been gone for too long,â he grumbles before pulling you into a tight hug and burying his face into the crook of your neck.
âLove, it was only for a month!â
âMy point still stands.â
You scrunch your face up and eventually manage to wiggle your way out of his grasp. Itâs been a few years since youâve graduated. Alhaitham has dutifully taken on the responsibilities of the Akademiyaâs Scribe while you now work as a reporter for a newspaper company. You love the job because it puts your Haravatat degree to good use and you get paid to travel, although you donât like the part of being away from Alhaitham for extended periods of time.
âAre you still up for dinner and dessert even though itâs getting late?â
âAt my favorite place?â
âOur favorite place,â he corrects.
âOh, you like it now as well? Did some of my tastes rub off onto you?â
âThe pudding runs I went on for you did that a long time ago.â
Comets are ephemeral in nature. Some of them are only seen once and then gone, lost in time and never to be seen again. But occasionally, in a twist of fate, they can be rediscovered although it may take hundreds or even thousands of years for them to return.
That comet he had wished upon several years ago had finally returned to him.
#oh. my god#yeah i'm fine i'm ok im fine (im not)#where do i even BEGIN with a masterpiece like this??#the way you write is so beautiful and digestible and just... god wow#the characterization and the interactions they're all so spot on#'whether you will go out with a bang or fade into obscurity is something only time will tell'#âĄïž god. head in hands. crying. sobbing.#the recurring theme of comets and stars is so beautiful and the way you use it to describe burn out is incredible#this piece hits close to home and it's so deeply relatable that i felt my heart drop#alhaitham is just so well written in this#the way he balances between actively keeping the reader's feelings in mind while also not being able to control his sharp tongue#AND the observational skills when reader doesn't think he knows what's up but he does ...#why isn't he real why can't i marry him why why why why i love him and i LOVE the way you wrote him#genuinely i don't know if a fic has ever resonated with me so much#i'm both hurt but also comforted at the same time#this is my alhaitham kisser coming out fic now (i formally apologize to ellie for calling him ugly)#can we talk about tighnari/kaveh/lisa gossip club please they're so funny#and CYNO being tighnari's dog making sure no one gets too loud around him i love them so much#little details sprinkled into this story that just crack me up yet don't take away from how heavy the theme is#this is a 10/10 like actually. my new comfort fic. /srs#thank you for writing this and encapsulating what mine and what i imagine is a lot of other people's experiences in such a beautiful story#everyone shut up and read this rn if you can relate to academic burnout đđđ#âăâą *â°ă soph's favs!#no this is more than a fav this is everything to me đđ
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nsfw, mdni.
simon becomes an absolute dog when he sees you in his shirt.
cw: possessive simon, sex on carpet (ouch), unprotected p in v, creampie, size kink (?).
simon is a good roommate. heâs organized, clean, pays rent on time, and minds his own space. the only thing isâroommate is hot. stupidly hot. you know he doesnât have a girlfriend and heâs never once brought back a girl let alone mentioned one. you figured your little crush on him would pass like all the other (it does not). you start dropping hints that you find him attractive. like wearing your tightest tops, brushing your ass against him while reaching for a cup, even leaving one of your lacy thongs to mix in with his laundry. he never bites the bait. you start to think that maybe he just doesnât find you attractive or even worse he finds you creepy. so you tuck your schoolgirl crush away into the cavity of your chest.
you close the washer with your hip, cradling your laundry basket back to your room. you hear the familiar turn of your front door lock letting you know simon is home from his morning gym session.
you pad into the living room to ask simon if he needed any clothes washed. simons back is turned from you when he begins to slip off his trainers, dropping his gym at the foot of the door.
âneed any clothes washed? iâm starting a load up right now.â you ask eyeing the movement of back muscle underneath his compression shirt.
he finally turns to you and starts to respond ânah donât think-â before he snaps his mouth shut when he sees what youâre wearing. âthat mine?â his voice gruff, itâs his army issued shirt that is long enough to cover your shorts. a deep green color that frays at the hem and has his last name in bold at the back of it. you notice heâs staring at the worn fabric waiting for an answer.
you look down, âoh yeah. sorry was doing laundry found this in hamper. my clothes are in the wash. hope thatâs okay?â you sound apologetic like you just did something unforgivable. jesus christ what were you thinking wearing his shirt without asking. you shift trying to ease your embarrassment.
heâs on you in three short strides. making a noise between a growl and snarl. you donât know how or when you both ended up on the living room floor. frankly, itâs the last thing on your fucking mind now that youâre on your knees cheek pressing into the shag carpet. you can feel the heat of his stare between your legs. you get a glimpse of your shorts and panties strewn across the floor leaving you in his shirt. you wait with bated breath for him to touch you. you wiggle your hips in a silent plead to get him to do something, anythingâŠeverything.
he gives the flesh of your ass a heavy smack that has you clenching around nothing. âbe good now.â is all you hear before the sting leaves an angry red mark that you know is gonna leave you wincing for the next week. simon smooths a hand over the back of your (his) shirt making a noise in the back of his throat.
you hear shuffling behind you before you feel the head of him catch on to your opening making your mouth gape like a fish out of water. he groans at the contact, kneading the fat of your hips, before he presses in painfully slow with a hiss. you whimper into the carpet, fists balling, feeling hot all over. your cunt pulses trying to make room for him inside your womb.
âi know. i know, pretty girl. almost there.â simon bites back a hiss when you clench at his words. you think you might die like this. laid out on ugly apartment carpet trying to take simonâs cock. you could cry with relief when you feel simonâs balls meet your clit letting you know heâs all the way in. simon lets out a guttural sound bordering on animalistic at the sight of you speared open on his cock, last name across your back, absolutely crying for it.
he fists the bottom of the shirt to keep you still and eases his hips back just to sink back in slowly. the pressure in your navel hurts so good itâs starting to make you dizzy. simon sets a pace that has you trying to cant your hips back to meet his thrusts. he lays a heavy palm in the middle of your back, just under the boldened âRILEYâ, keeping you pinned giving you no choice but to take what he gives you.
âprettiest fuckin girl i ever seen. gonna give this cunt the proper treatment she deserves, yeah?â he bends his left leg, somehow sliding in deeper. thereâs no doubt that you can feel him in your lungs. âsâdeep simon.â you slur, reaching a hand back to weakly press against his stomach. he chuckles at the act taking both wrists into one of his hands pressing them at the small of your back, forcing you into a deeper arch. you sob at the change in angle. your nipples being rubbed raw by the friction of his thrusts.
âneeded this real bad, huh? donât worry baby. iâll make sure you donât go without it again. wearing those tiny tops think i didnât notice.â his voice rough and deep behind you. âuh huh.â you reply without a second thought, you donât even care that youâve been drooling into the carpet or that youâve been caught. simon gives a deep chuckle at how pliant youâve become just from some good dick.
he knows your close by the increasing volume of your sounds. he never lets up his pace determined to give you his all. âwhere?â he asks in a quick breathe. you take a few seconds to register his words. âhuh?â you manage to squeak out. âwhere do you want me, pretty thing?â he says in an almost pained voice. the gears turn in your head before you speak up âinside. want it inside. mâclean. pill.â resorting to short clipped words. you beg, as if you have to, simon thinks.
your orgasm comes hard and fast leaving you sobbing out garbled version of please and simon. simon is not far behind burying himself as deep as your bodies will allow and comes inside with a pinched âoh fuck.â he pulls out with a pop and watches his spend leak down your slit leaving a small puddle on the floor that he knows heâll have to scrub out later.
simon pats your backside affectionately. âdonât think weâll be doing any laundry todayâ he says with a grin that makes you giggle. âyeah, donât think so.â
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#cod x reader#ghost x reader#call of duty x reader#simon riley x reader smut#simon ghost riley x reader smut#ghost smut#cod smut#call of duty smut
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-Recording begins-
Spider-Man: Hi folks! Iâd like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.
Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? Itâs titanium!
Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*
Spider-Man: See, we all know that Iâm crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasnât changed, something very important does right around this time of year.
Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*
Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when Iâm antsy.
Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*
Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isnât a threat, okay? Iâm still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.
Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*
Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If Iâm extremely tired or otherwise distracted, thereâs just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. Iâm probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!
Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*
Peter fucking Parker: Donât.
#peter b parker#peter parker#ebony writes the thing#word girl#how tf did I forget to tag that smh#into the spider verse#also forgot to tag THAT ffs đ€Šđœ#anyways. Miles and the other spider stumbled upon recordings of college!Peter B Parker. and uh.#this man is getting dragged across the multiverse lol. but he did in fact Ace his exams.
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àŁȘđ€àčàŁ â JOCK BF!YUUJI ENTRY #10. babies, lots of âem.
about. the all star jock has an intense breeding kink that leads him to confess the plans he has for he and his weird girlfriendâs future. ( 2.5K )
warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! nsfw, smut, angst if you squint, characters aged up to 20s, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cum play, praise, jock bf!yuuji, weird girl + fem!reader - the brain rot continues !! inspired by @kweenkatsuki-fics recent yuuji thirsting hehe <3
ââmma give you babies⊠lots of âem,â yuuji slurs, his hips ramming into yours at a bruising, unprecedented pace.Â
beneath your shaky fingertips, the muscles of your boyfriendâs back ripple with his movements â his strength as he uses the headboard for leverage to fuck into your sloppy, sweltering heat of your sex. youâre flat on your back, his heavy and weighty body hanging over yours protectively while itadori traps you between the blazing heat in his chest and the sweaty bed sheets below. whenever yuuji gets in the mood like this, possessive and hungry for you ( and nobody else but you ), in the mood to keep you all to himself â you canât help but succumb to each one of his touches and wet kisses.Â
you canât help the way your body trembles in the cage of his muscular arms while his abs ripple against your tummy and his pelvis tacks deliciously to your swollen clit. the bed creaks beneath the sloppy affair of your grinding bodies and somehow, within the mess of sex and love, your freehands link and squeeze to ground one another. âthe way youâre suckinâ me in, god, honey,â yuuji coos, his words tickle the shell of your ear delicately, contrasting with the carnivorous way his deep brown eyes drink you in when he pulls back slightly to look at you, silver chain and dog tags dangling above your hot face, as if heâs picturing you nice and full of him and his seed. âso selfish, you donât wanna let me pull out. you want this cumâŠyeah?âÂ
in that moment, you think you might cum, all because of the breathy whimpers from your lover that ghost over your dampened cupidâs bow ( wet from kisses ) â accompanied by the sensation of his hard-on bullying its way into your tight, quivering little hole. thereâs a keen smile that spreads across yuujiâs plush lips when you nod your head âyesâ in response, you feel his excitement and desire for you deepen when the entire length of him twitches inside of you â pulsating as small spurts of precum begin to line your lewdly squelching walls.
âi knew you would, youâre such a good girlâŠand youâre all mine, how lucky am i? that youâre all. fucking. mine.â for a boy so sweet and gentlemanly outside of the bedroom, itadori is always sure to fuck you nasty and raw whilst making you feel like the most adored person on the planet. yuujiâs sailor-mouth-like praises are slurred and sinful, a tale tale sign that heâs already pussy drunk as he sheaths inch after inch within you. you can hardly blame him, not when your body adjusts to yuuji so perfectly â silken pussy stretching over the blue spiralling veins on his heavy cock. âmine to love, mine to fuck, mine to breed.â he tells you through seraphic gripes too.
âohmygod!â you squeal, voice ringing hoarsely in your throat. your cunt spills honey molasses and sweet nectar against your ravaged sexes, juices intertwining with the small pink tufts of yuujiâs happy trail as his bright red tip bears down harshly on your gummy g-spot â providing him with the lube he needs to make love to you properly. âbabyâŠi c-canât!âÂ
just as you moan out again, legs squeezing around your boyfriendâs slender waist â yuujiâs blushing face ducks into your neck, making quick work of marking up your skinâŠbecause if he looks at your face, the way your brows crease softly and your lips part in a gentle âoâ, and sees the way it twists with mounting pleasure. he wonât be able to hold off for much longer, heâll lose his mind and fuck you too hard for either of you to cope. he knows that you can take it, manage to take all of his seed and all of his love â but if yuuji snaps, heâll be pounding into you until heâs shooting blanks.Â
with your hands traversing upwards into yuujiâs sea of pink curls and over his smooth undercut, he reacts with his golden eyes rolling back into the dark depths of his skull â temporarily locking away your sunlight that brings warmth to your dorm. a familiar heat prickles underneath the surface of your skin like a thousand tiny needles as you pant out your words, pleading with bambi as you look up at yuuji. âi want your cum, yuuji, i want you toâŠhah⊠fill me up ân get me pregnantâŠâ thereâs a feeling painfully seated above your abdomen, a burning sensation of mounting pleasure like a wound desperate to be licked and soothed by itadori.
by grinding up against him, sticky clit smearing over his tense stomach and golden abs, you think that you might garner some relief â but you only feel teased and taunted when the jock pulls his cock from the snugness of your tight head to slap his milky cockhead against your pulsing mound proudly.
âdonât say it like that, fuck, baby,â yuuji all but groans, lashes fluttering at the slick sound your cunt makes with each love tap. beads of his precum ooze over you in another form of claim, glazing you in yuujiâs scent and taste. some of it even drips from your abused hole as it clenches around nothing, desperate to be filled by all that your boyfriend has to offer. âthereâs so much⊠sâleaking out of you. gonna have to keep you on my dick always, give you all my babies.â the rose haired man canât even hear himself speak, not over the sound of blood rushing through his ears â carrying sex crazed hormones. certainly not over your sweet sighs that form a melody with the pap, pap, pap of your pussy as he slowly sinks back into you â building up a steady rhythm to his thrusts, like an oceanâs regular tide.
yuuji canât stop rambling, saying whatever lustful thought sits at the forefront of his mind. having you splayed out beneath him like this, your nipples pert against his firm chest and your breasts bouncing with every forceful lunge of his hips forward â it drives him up a wall. âgonna look so pretty ân round when youâre full of me. iâll put a ring on it, make you my pretty wife â holy fuck, youâre squeezing me so tight. you like it when i talk to you like that, huh?â the thick vein on the underside of his shaft presses deliciously up against pleasure spots that only yuuji knows about, never leaving you unsatisfied, not even for a moment as his body rocks passionately into yours.
tanned skin and hard muscle feel slippery underneath your trembling hands. you donât know what to hold onto, donât know how to ground yourself when you feel this good and yuujiâs cock skilfully dives into your sopping heat â promises of the future, a wedding and family hand in the humid air buzzing between you both but is best said by the way itadoriâs body dsnces with your own, his arousal soaked signature lining your rippling walls. Â Â
âneed that so bad, yuuji! need you so bad⊠please fill me up, i want it inside.â you hiccup and demand, hardly able to speak through it all. the bed moans and groans just like you do, every time itadoriâs dick pumps in and pulls out of your dripping, greedy hole â coated in a layer of foamy white. using your elbows as leverage, you work your hips down to meet yuuji in a slick and sensual dance, clenching at every inch of him that assails your insides until delight crackles over your hazy brain. Â
âgod, baby pleaseâŠif you keep talking like that iâm gonnaââ yuuji whines from deep within his chest, the sound resonating through you and shooting straight down to your creamy cunt that clamps down on him, pulling little droplets of precum from his sensitive tip.Â
your next words have the jock pounding into you with new vigour, desperate to give you everything that you want. âd-donât pull out, yuuji. inside.âÂ
âahh, okay,â he whimpers as his voice rises in pitch, brown eyes stinging with tears. his golden arms flex as they lift you by the apex of your thighs â dragging you back onto his cock and itâs unforgiving pace. itadori presses his forehead to yours, caramel eyes shining with tears that gleam in the afternoon sunlight breaking through the curtains of your dorm. âokay, okay fuck. okay, oh god â h-honey, iâmâŠfuck! i-im cumming!â he stumbles over his every word, the pink haired jockâs entire world shattering into smaller glass fragments as he finally hits his peak. thick waves of white flood your womb, hot and viscous and lighting you up from the inside out. it coats your swollen pussy lips in an opaque layer that smears along your inner thighs, pouring endlessly from yuujiâs fat cock and breederâs balls.
effectively breeding you.Â
still humping at you relentlessly and not daring to leave you far behind, yuuji tacks two of his fingers to your clit and caresses it in smooth circles, searing his name into you forever. he never lets up, fucking his cum into your womb with languid thrusts â bulbous and mushroomed cockhead spurting his hot seet against your g-spot as it grazes the epicentre of your pleasure over and over again. yuuji holds you in his arms while your vision clears, replaced by only blinding flashes of white and accompanied by an empty scream rattling around in your throat. your arousal spurts out of you in generous and clear streams, nearly forcing yuujiâs cock from your tight, rippling walls â painting both you and him in your juices.Â
your boyfriend can barely hold himself above you as you both finally come down, flopping onto you and trapping you against the sex soiled matress for cuddles.Â
âwe canât have babies, yuuji,â you laugh happily, letting out a puff of air from deep within your chest once youâre finally able to catch your breath. ânot right now, weâre too young and weâre still in college!â
âwell duh, not right nowâŠâ he muses, kissing your jaw and your neck and every part of you that heâs marked up and bruised. âbut like afterwardsâŠyanno? a few years down the line when we both have jobs. iâm gonna be pro and youâll be a sexy career woman. ân iâll make so much money that you can take all the time off you want. make sure youâre nice and taken care of andââÂ
giggling, the sweet melodies of your laughter cut through your boyfriendâs wistful rambling.Â
âwhatâs so funny?âÂ
âitâs justâŠyouâve really got this all planned out, huh?â you reach a hand up to cup itadoriâs sweaty cheek, brushing a thumb over the rough scarring at the corner of his mouth. he leans into you, much like a cat seeking physical touch, and you scratch just under his chin. âyou want to be with me for that long?âÂ
âi meanâŠyeah. i want you for the rest of my life. i thought that was obvious,â yuuji manages to say while you squish his cheeks and play about with his face, sounding a little dejected. âdonât you? ⊠donât you want that with me?âÂ
your smile drops as you shift to your elbows, immediately dead set on reassuring your usually confident boyfriend. âof course i want that with gou. i want everything with you, itâs just thatâŠâ you chew on your words, push them around the cavern of your mouth as it dries with nervousness. âitâs just that⊠iâm still so different to you, iâm still notâŠconventional by any means. so i just thought⊠by the time college was over youâdââÂ
âiâd get bored of you?âÂ
yuuji looks almost offended, his pink and kiss-swollen lips pushed forward into a pout and his dark brows drawn together in the centre of his forehead. falling back onto the sheets, one of his hands sink into the pillow supporting your head as you lay flat on your back â you feel it tremble with an emotion you canât quite place on his face. is it anger? hurt? annoyance? either way, your heart hammers in your chest and crawls itâs way up your throat. you feel nauseous at the prospect of even upsetting yuuji â especially after the loving sex youâve just had.Â
a croak in your throat replaces your sweet voice, youâre not sure if itâs because of how youâd been previously screaming your boyfriendâs name or because of how nervous youâve suddenly become. ây-yeah,â you say slowly. âthat.âÂ
âhow could you even think that?â yuuji breathes steadily, the corner of his mouth twitching into a frown but you canât bare to look at him any longer â casting your gaze to the side.Â
shaking your head, you blink back tears you hadnât even known were there. âi donât⊠i donât know. forget it, pretend i never said anything.âÂ
itadori bends at the neck to reach you, tutting into the air as it cools down and loses its feverish taste for lust. his nose bumps yours, the pair of them becoming neighbours while his breath coasts across your face almost comfortingly.Â
âwhen i say i want you, i mean it. forever,â he confesses, like a reflex, like the natural reflex that his brain has to make his heart beat. âi want you to be my wife after all this. youâre not just some college fling to me. i want to buy you a house, a big ring, keep you comfortable for the rest of my life. i decided on that when i first met you,â a calloused finger and thumb tilt your chin to the perfect angle, making you look at him, your gaze falling into a mahogany one belonging only to your doting partner. âi don't care how long it takes to prove this to you⊠but youâre the love of my life, so have a little faith in me. okay?â
yuuji takes your hand in his, placing your palm on the left side of his chest where the muscle keeping him alive races for you. the only girl in the room. the only girl in his worlds. his dog tags jingle at the movement but his eyes on you remain unwavering and so full of commitment. youâd be stupid not to believe him now.
âokay,â you affirm sweetly, tilting your head a little further in a silent ask. you want a kiss. âi love you, yuuji.âÂ
âand i love you right back,â he mumbles against your lips without skipping a beat, slotting your mouths together perfectly in a gentle chaste kiss. ânow baby, please stop asking me to cum inside, you know i canât help it and we canât have babies just yet,â yuuji whines and collapses on top of you with a huff.Â
âyouâre the one who said you wanted to give me babies!âÂ
âand youâre the one who keeps feeding into my breeding kink, letâs not get it twisted here!â
and all throughout your playful bickering, yuuji stays nestled deep inside of you â keeping you plugged full. of both his cum and his love. Â
ê° end. â all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
#tteokdoroki#itadori x reader#itadori smut#yuuji itadori smut#yuuji itadori x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#itadori yuuji smut#yuuji itadori x you#itadori yuuji x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#itadori x you#⧠âËà© â writing#âïœĄÂ°â© â jock bf!yuuji
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HSR + HE TEACHES YOU
â ê° including ê± â aventurine, boothill, dr ratio, sunday x fem! reader
â ê° warnings ê± â inexperienced! reader, slightly possessive ?? hsr men, dirty talk, pet names used: baby, good girl, oral (male! receiving), cowgirl, dom ?? but veritas is mean, slightly possessive sunday (he's a little weird, am i right guys?)
â ê° AVENTURINE ê±
aventurine doesn't know what to do with himself other than receive your warm, innocent tongue with open arms, his fleeting gaze radiant like jewels and focused on your mouth splitting so effortlessly when he finally inserts himself between your plush lips.
"pleaseâ look at how excited you are," his words made you shudder, although desires and excitement also furnished your mind. it was all thereâ his handsome voice, his musky scent, the salty taste on your tongue and for you, the new flavor felt weird, yes, slightly bitter when you swallow down.
but aventurine's cock repeatedly rolling over your tongue over and over began to taste like in the most delicious, toe curling way imaginable.
he was thickly warm on your tongue, and heavy, making your jaw slack with ease, "put it in your mouth like that, yes, ahh yes, just like that baby," as you begin to move your head up and down with the help of him, heating him from the inside out.
the little flicker of your tongue intrigued himâ the slow, wet susurration of slurping that was sloppy and without a precise way of doing it; but wow, you're so good at this, looking flawless between his legs with a slip of his shadow on your innocent silhouette.
when wicked of lust, his amused eyes smile down at you, grunting inside his hot and bothered chest with your mouth tightly pressed against his shaft before you suckle up again, hollowed cheeks staying content.
aventurine leads you, and tells you to be slow, take your time.
he wants to teach you on how to suck his dick, for possible future needsâ because hey? he surely hopes this won't be the last time he would be able to do this with you. not when he can barely wait to touch, stroke and lick you himself.
â ê° BOOTHILL ê±
boothill mentally congratulates himself for keeping his carnal desires in check and sliding himself slowly inside, gruelingly slow that it drove you into insanity.
not to forget on how difficult he found it to hide his visible excitement that you wanted him to be your first, the first person to fill you up with a cock, a thick and hefty cock.
your muscles immediately twitch and the insides of your thighs tense, your body snapping in all the right ways.
"ahh, yeah, good girl, such good girl for me," he slurrs in desperation of wanting more, just more of this, more of youâ and oh? what sweet victory to get a literal galaxy ranger to say that out loud.
his eyes glimmer like diamonds as the constant pulse of your walls clamp into his erection, he could no longer think beyond the next touch.
boothill was supposed to be the experienced one out of the two of you yet you make it so intoxicatingly difficult for him to stay focused.
he gasps, arched his back and presses deep, stroking your insides back and forth, coaxing in perfect time with caressing kisses all over your face, "the sound you just made when i slipped it in, ugh, you can't be real," boothill whispers and hisses when you squeeze him, your toes curling at the new feeling of a heavy weight bulking in you, like it's about to reach your belly.
"i'm so lucky i can call you mine," he kisses your bottom lip and focuses on your faceâ your dizzying and addictive expression that he hoped would be decorated with drool and sweat all over after he's done with making you feel good.
ah well, the man knows it won't take much for you to cum all over him, you're already glistening and showing him how wet you are with the amount of slick sousing your folds and his shaft each time he pulls back, only to snap in all the way inside.
â ê° DR RATIO ê±
"you wanted me to teach you on how to ride me, didn't you?" between your sobs, you manage to huff out a small shut up in an attempt to take away the attention of veritas deliberately holding you down his cock by your hips cruelly.
no sobs, no whines and aims to reason with him seemed to work in your favor nor displayed any form of you actually getting your way.
"i'm not, I mean, i said that butâ," a shaken moan departs from your throat when he bottoms out, this time clearly, smirking when your tits move in harmony with his movements.
"now, why are you squirming like that then?" he continues, allowing you to feel him pulse and throb before holding you down entirely.
"you can't take it after all, can you?" with need, you attempt to bounce on him, turning utterly sensitive by the intensity of his cock swelling everywhere, no single inch of your walls left untouched.
you nod and place your hands against his chest as veritas suddenly makes you fall forward by another shove up into your cunt, your tits pressing against his stone-hard chest.
he looks at you through hooded eyes, his jaw clenched as he enjoyed watching the effect he had on you, then he fucks and fucks and fucks into you three times in a rowâ reckless, daring, blind to reality, making your arousal come out all the more consistent, "oh, you do? you sure?"
"yes I am, ugh, fuck, veritas just let me move already," you bark back, your body convulsing in near-pain and much relief when he rubs your walls over his shaft again. like a second heart beat between your legs, your walls flutter around his erection as you feel your blood rush to every edge and limit in your body.Â
"you look a little tense sitting on my cock like that," his hands squeeze your waist as he says it so confidently, in a way that would make you want to smack that pretty, stupidly handsome expression off of him.
but right now, you do not mind, you can always get revenge on him later because even after the slight bickering from before, now he holds you against his chest in a deep embrace.
it's strange, yes, but it feels real.
â ê° SUNDAY ê±
"hey, please," sunday mumbles sincerely as his palm strokes over your trembling thigh, "you're so pretty, don't avert your eyes from me now," and he's awfully good at keeping you in place, holding your legs up just right while telling you to always keep them wrapped around his waist.
it feels better this way, when you practically hold me in like that is what he whispers into your ear the entire nightâ it's scarcely an audible tone but it's there, right against your lips, the vibrations of his angelic groans alone reaching all the way to your wet cunt.
"you feel so good around me, you know that?" he rolls his hips tentatively, swallowing the saliva in his throat as his hips jerk faster each time you moaned louder.
every single moment when a faint whimper of his name rolls from your tongue, sunday loses a slice of his sanity.
with great effort, he does the most to make you feel insanely well, finding himself entranced by the silkiness of your walls and how easy it was to slip inside you, your slick and sweat streaking your skin and practically inviting him to absolutely ruin youâ until your innocent, never touched before, body would take over the musk of him.
it's a perverted fantasy, yes, but sunday needs you to be his.
after this night, he wouldn't want anybody to touch you other than himself. your moans were like an aphrodisiac to him, a drug that felt so good that it made him go feral, rock his hips faster and pinch your pulsing clit until you're creaming all over his shaft.
only then, he will teach you more, perhaps on how to suck his dick later or how you should rest your legs against his shoulders when he goes down on youâ fuck, you're just so precious, clenching all over him.
your doe eyes flutter up at his own welcoming ones, and he makes you keep the eye contact until you see it, until you can see into his mind, the one his reality dwells in.
©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
#hsr x reader#honkai starrail x reader#hsr smut#honkai starrail smut#aventurine x reader#boothill x reader#dr ratio x reader#sunday x reader#honkai star rail smut#honkai star rail x reader#boothill smut#aventurine smut#dr ratio smut#sunday smut#hsr x you#hsr drabbles#sunday x you#boothill x you#aventurine x you#dr ratio x you
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#aug 5 2023#youâre having fun#i think youâre really doing pretty well at this point#i hope if youâre reading this again in a few years youâre doing even better & youâre staying on the right path for yourself#i hope you remember this time in your life as the very crucial beginnings to ultimate healing & becoming a better person in general#ERP is working#you are WAY more emotionally regulated than you thought possible#the heaviness in your chest has been gone for a while now#you donât smoke anymore#you arenât controlled by mental illness#i think youâre becoming more and more receptive to the people & things that are going to help you continue to grow#creativity & intution seem to only increase as time goes on#especially this month#i hope youâre feeling as happy as i do these days#maybe even much better#mine
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âïœĄïŸEveryone expresses jealousy in their own way; some choose subtlety, but these three donât hesitate to be clear and direct when it comes to what they want. ïŸïœĄâ
â VI, Caitlyn, and Sevika.
VI.
When someone dares to invade your personal space, Vi doesnât hesitate for a second to step in, positioning herself right by your side. Her proximity is a silent, yet powerful declaration: youâre with her, and she doesnât need words to make that abundantly clear.
She crosses her arms with an air of determination, a faint furrow forming between her brows, as if sheâs measuring the other person, calculating every word, every movement. If the tension lingers, her posture stiffens, gradually transforming into something more formidable, like a storm silently gathering inside her, though she strives to maintain a composed exterior, a mask of calm.
She canât help but release one of her signature remarks, dripping with sarcasm. As the other person speaks, she leans closer to you and, in a whisper sharp enough to be heard, she quips, âOh, wow! Didnât know you started a fan club. When did you begin signing autographs?â
Vi doesnât do subtlety when something bothers her. If the situation gets under her skin, sheâll make it known. She pulls you closer with an unmistakable, possessive gestureâher arm wrapping around you, her fingers intertwining with yours, or without a second thought, she plants a kiss on you, making sure everyone nearby knows exactly where your heart belongs.
Later, when the noise fades and the world quiets down, she gazes at you with a special kind of gleam in her eyes, absentmindedly caressing your hand. With a sigh filled with emotions, she confessesâthough clearly reluctantâthat she simply canât help herself when it comes to you.
CAITLYN.
Caitlyn remains calm, but her body language speaks volumes. Her head lifts with a quiet pride, and her posture straightens, radiating a silent authority that requires no words.
Her gaze never wavers, as if sheâs evaluating every word and gesture, absorbing even the slightest detail. The conversation flows, yet thereâs an ever-present tension, as though sheâs measuring the truth of every action, searching for any hidden threat.
Rather than interrupting, she gently touches your arm or wraps her hand around your waist, guiding you with a tenderness thatâs still unwaveringly firm. It's an invitation to focus entirely on her, a subtle yet commanding gesture. Her touch is never abrupt, but always resolute.
If the other person misses the signals, Caitlyn has no hesitation in steering the conversation with a seemingly casual remark, but one heavy with meaning: "Donât you think we could use a little space here, darling?"
When the tension finally ebbs away, she pauses for a moment, then smiles at you with a hint of shyness. "Itâs nothing," she says, "itâs just... I donât like sharing what truly matters to me."
SEVIKA.
Sevika is an enigma, her behavior often difficult to decipher. Yet, when jealousy takes hold of her, her gaze becomes icy and defiant, and her words turn sharp, almost cutting, especially towards the one who has earned her ire.
She places you behind her or by her side, deliberately positioning herself as a physical shield between you and anyone who dares get too close.
When tension fills the air, words are unnecessary for her to express discontent. Her mere presence is enough to make most people take a step back, feeling the weight of her quiet authority.
If she feels the need to intervene, it's done decisively, without fanfare. In a low, dry tone, she might simply say, "Are you done here? Because we don't have all day."
In private, she'll share her frustration with you, but in a way that's brief, honest, and possessive. "I don't do drama, but I can't stand fools who donât know how to respect boundaries. You're mine, end of story."
#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane caitlyn#arcane vi#arcane sevika#caitlyn x reader#vi x reader#sevika x reader
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