#and has a complete story from beginning to end between both games and comes out better for it)

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

im doing one for shinon too bc he deserves it

shinon radiant dawn vc: my mom never hugged me

shinon path of radiance and radiant dawn vc: -treats greil like a respectable father and never mentions his own father literally ever-

shinon radiant dawn death quote: (smiling portrait) “Ugh... This is...such a crock... What a... boring way to die... Co... Commander... Greil... I... I... I'm...” (is he implying “I’m coming to see you again”, based on the quote and smiling portrait?)

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

Hi sweet angel, I have to admit that I'm new to your profile, but my obsession with your writing is almost as great as my obsession with snow, I have a request that changes the story a little bit.

Coryo is completely obsessed with the reader, but she thinks he is just an affectionate friend, both become mentors and instead of snow falling in love with lucy, it is the reader who falls in love with her tribute, and begins to move away from Snow, he can not accept this and manipulates the games, Not for lucy to win, but rather, to get rid of the reader's tribute. (Sorry for any mistake, English is not my mother tongue, so I use Google translator)

Slipping Through My Fingers || Young!Coriolanus Snow x reader

GIF by i forgot sorry :( divided by @firefly-graphics

A/n: this took me forever to finish idk why 😭 also this has to be the longest fic i've written so far.

Warnings: mention of blood, possessive coryo, mentions of death

Wc: 2,975

Coriolanus Snow Masterlist

"Can I see you tomorrow morning?" Coriolanus looks down at you with hope in his eyes, you open your mouth but close it before sighing. "I can't, sorry. My parents want me to be home when my grandparents are there," You lie through your teeth as he hums, nodding.

"That's fine, tomorrow afternoon then?" His hand touches your waist as you smile up at the boy. "Of course Coryo, I'll see you then?" You touch his hand that was at your waist as he nods. You give him one final smile before disappearing around the corner.

You felt bad for lying to him but you didn't know how he would take it if he found out that you were actually going to meet your tribute first thing when his train from the districts arrived in Panem. Your tribute, Dean, from district 8 intrigued you. You couldn't keep your eyes of the screen when he appeared. He caught your eye immediately.

Coryo couldn’t stop complaining all day about his tribute from district 12, Lucy Gray. Saying that she would not last a second in the game. Unlike him, you had faith in your tribute.

So here you were, standing on the platform waiting for the train to come to a halt as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. A smile on your face, dimples on display as the doors open revealing Dean. He was taller than you imagined, but nonetheless, he looked surreal. There was no denying that Dean was good looking, incredibly good looking which you would imagine would play a role in the amount of donations he would have.

"Dean. Y/n Y/l/n. I'll be your mentor." You extend your hand out in front of him as he looks you up and down before shaking your hand. His shake was firm, his fingers calloused. An indication that he was a hard worker.

"Are you supposed to be here? I don't see other people like you around here," He says as he looks around the train station. You notice Coriolanus' tribute, Lucy Gray walking by and staring at the two of you questioningly. You make eye contact with her before clearing your throat and looking back at Dean who hadn't kept his eyes off of you.

"No. I'm not supposed to be here." You confess, your hands fidgeting with the ends of your skirt as Dean raises an eyebrow at you. "Then.... what are you doing here?" You pause. What were you doing here? You could have waited like the others for tomorrow to meet him.

"I uh- I wanted to welcome you to the Capitol." You offer him a smile. Silence. "Can I be blunt with you Dean?" Your head slightly tilts, a habit of yours when you ask questions. "Sure," He shrugs. "I see potential in you," You hold his hands in between yours as he glances down at your intertwined hands with an expression you couldn't quite figure out.

"You can win this hunger games. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that you do. Such potential like you for a bright future shouldn't be wasted," You solemnly smile at him. Dean stays quiet for awhile, his hand still in yours before a peacekeeper roughly pulls him away from you.

"Hey!" You shout as you follow the two. "It's time for them to go Miss." The peacekeeper says as he throws Dean into the back of a van. Just as he walks away from your view to close the door, you jump into the van along with the rest of the tributes. "What are you doing!" Dean whispers yells at you as you stay hidden behind him.

You let out a sigh of relief once the doors close. "What's this? Is this your mentor, Dean?" A girl you recognised to be Carol asks with a sinister smile. You push past Dean and extend your hand out for her to shake. She looks at your face then your hand and lets out a laugh.

"Why would I shake hands with someone like you." She spat as a few others laugh alongside her. You notice Lucy Gray once more, sitting there silently. "Why do you get special treatment Dean, huh?" Carol pushes you backwards catching you off balance as Dean catches you.

"I could kill her right now," Carol chuckles like a maniac. Dean moves you behind him, "Leave her alone," He voices out, his tone screaming authority. Before Carol could respond, the van shook violently as you all lose your balance. You let out a groan as you felt your body slam against the van door before it flies open, causing you all to roll out onto hard rocks.

You let out a groan as you slowly lift up your head, squinting your eyes at your surrounding before you hear Dean's voice. "Y/n! Are you alright?" He asks worriedly as his grips your bicep, aiding you to stand up as you realise where you were. You were at the zoo cage.

You place a hand on your head as you let out a low groan. "Excuse me! Hello! Over there! Can they not hear me in there?" You hear a familiar voice belonging to Lucretius Flickerman. Dean takes a hold of your forearm, helping you keep balance as he whispers to you, "Own it." You look up at him with a small smile. He offers his arm to you as you link arms and walk towards the iron bars.

"Y/n Y/l/n, one of the mentors for the 10th hunger games." Lucretius says to the camera as he then directs his gaze towards you. "The game makers did tell you to jump into the cage with them," His tone was skeptical. Dean looks down at you as you glance at him before looking at Lucky.

"They didn't tell me not to. They just said it was a mentor's job to introduce our tributes to the citizens of Panem, and I thought well if Dean is brave enough to be here, then why shouldn't I be too?" You say with confidence, "For the record, I didn't have a choice," Dean butts in.

"What is Y/n doing there?" Arachne gasps as she ctaches the attention of Snow and the others as they look to the screen. There you were, linked arms with a tribute, looking awfully comfortable with him to add. Snow furrows his eyebrows at disbelief that you were there.

You told him that you were to be at home, but clearly not. Coriolanus watches with intent as you look at Dean when he spoke. His fists bawl up as Clemensia makes a comment. "You alright Coryo? You look.... bothered," Her hands rest on Snow's upper arm as he pries her touch off of him.

"I'm fine," He snaps as he leans forward on his seat. He was bothered. Very bothered seeing you so close with a tribute. "He's obviously not fine, he's bothered seeing Y/n so touchy with her tribute, isn't that right Snow?" Arachne teases as he slams his hand on the table causing her to shut up. "Shut it, Crane." Coriolanus says through gritted teeth as Arachne puts her hands up in surrender.

"They look really close. Can't blame Y/n honestly, she got a good looking one," He hears Clemensia quietly say before he had enough and stood up, storming off.

~

"Coryo," You call out as you catch up to him, adjusting your bag on your shoulder as you offer him a smile. He says nothing, his face stern as he continues to walk, not bothering to look at you. "Hey listen, I'm sorry I stood you yesterday, I just got super busy-" "Yeah I saw, busy with your tribute right?" He gives you a sarcastic smile as you scrunch your eyebrows.

You were all making your way to the enclosed cage to talk to your tributes. "What?" Snow rolls his eyes at you, finally stopping. "I saw your interview with Flickerman. Looked awfully close to your tribute," You let out small chuckle as his face shows no sign of amusement.

"Coryo, I was just introducing myself to him and getting to know him that's all. I have faith in him that he will win and I wanted him to know that. Wouldn't you do the same with your tribute if you had faith in her?" You touch his arm as he looks at your hand.

"Right?" You try and get a response from him as he sighs, "I guess," Is all he says before intertwining his hands with yours. You look down at your hands, a sweet gesture from him. When you both get closer to the tributes, you unclasp your hands with Snow and walk towards Dean who has already seen you and was making his way closer to you.

"Hey," You greet Dean as you look through your bag and find the half of your sandwich and cookie which you put away for him. You hand it to him as he thanks you, immediately taking bites as you watch him. He could feel your stares as you look away. Your eyes land on Coriolanus and Lucy.

He was talking to her about something as Lucy looks towards you and Dean. Snow finally looks at you, his expression cold as you gulp and look at Dean who was already looking at you. "He your boyfriend or something?" He asks as he takes another bite of the cookie. Your eyes widen. "Who? Coryo? No." You laugh as Dean stares at you.

"He's just a close friend of mine." You say as he nods, unbothered. "Do you? Do you- uh- have a-" "No." He deadpans as you slowly nod. From afar, Snow was watching the two of you interact the entire time. "Do you want to win Lucy Gray?" He turns his attention from you to his tribute.

"Do you think I can win?" She asks him as he thinks. "Honestly? no." He admits as Lucy scoffs. "But if you listen to what I say and do what I tell you to do, you will." His tone was stern as Lucy nods, her eyes following his eyeline which led to you and Dean. "That your girlfriend? That girl who was with us yesterday in the van."

"Her and Dean seem to be close, don't you think?" Lucy watches Coriolanus' face, his jaw clenching at the mention of the two. "They're not close, she just knows how to play the game," Coriolanus snaps before standing up and backing away from Lucy Gray.

~

You hadn't spoken much to Coriolanus the past couple of days. You were with Dean quite a lot, making up strategies and scenarios for when the games started. "I care about you, Dean. A lot." You take his hands in yours, the sound of his iron shackles making you cringe as you look him the eyes. Dean looks around the room before caressing your hand.

You and Dean have gotten very close over the past days. You both had faith in each other, trusted one another. Coriolanus narrows his eyes at the two of you, 2 desks away from him before his gaze settles on your touching hands.

He lets out a quiet scoff as Lucy Gray looks over to you and Dean. "Do you know him?" Snow asks her as he cocks his head towards Dean. Lucy shakes her head. "You want to win, don't you?" He leans in close to her.

Lucy hesitantly nods her head, "Yes. Yes you do Lucy." He answered for her, his gaze hard on her as she squirmed under his stare. "You need to kill Dean first. You need to before he kills you. He's a strong competitor, I can tell, that's why you need him out first. Then, it will be a piece of cake." He smirks as he leans back on his chair. "What do I need to do?"

~

“Y/n,” Coriolanus calls out as you turn your head to his direction, a small smile on his face as you beam at him. You run to him, throwing your arms around him as you hug him tightly. Coryo was caught off guard but eventually hugs you back.

“Good luck,” You say, although it was slightly muffled against his shirt. “You too,” He says back, his hand rubbing your back as you pull back, giving him your pearly white grin that only a few were able to see. Coriolanus felt a pull at his heart for he knew what was going to happen would break you.

Your other classmates arrive as you get settled for the 10th hunger games to start. Your eyes were trained on the screen as you watch Dean kill 2 people. You bite your fingernails as you continue to watch it play out infront of your eyes. Coriolanus offers his hand as you take it, squeezing it as you watch Dean.

A couple hours pass by and everyone sits up when they watch Coryo's tribute, Lucy Gray being corned by a few of the others, Dean included. In the corner of your eye, you watch Coryo come up to his screen and rapidly click.

Your eyes flicker back to the screen as drones of water come flying at the tributes, knocking them out as the room erupts in gasps. "These drones are not very good," Flickerman comments. "Hey! What are you doing?" Vipsania shouts as she stands up.

"You can't attack the tributes Coryo!" You snap at him. "I'm just sending water," He coolly says as you shake your head and scoff. Dean managed to dodge them luckily. You watch as Lucy Gray runs, Dean chasing after her as your leg bounces.

She manages to hide in one of the vent holes as you notice Snow let out a sigh of relief. Dean punches the vent in anger as he eventually leaves her. A few more hours pass by as you fell asleep, the sound of banging wakes you up. Coryo was nowhere to be found.

Your eyes focus on the screen as Dean and Coral stand underneath a vent pipe. Coral's pitchfork was reportingly stabbing at the vents above. Dean follows the noises, his gaze on the vent. "Coral. Coral she's right here," He whispers to her as she continues stabbing at the vent. Coriolanus then runs in, "Lucy Gray, is she okay?" He says out of breath.

"She wont be for long," Festus comments as everyone's eyes are trained on the screen. All of a sudden, Dean touches his nose as he looks confused. You immediately stand up on your feet, "Wait, what's wrong with Dean?" You move closer as he falls on his knee making your heart race.

"Did Coral do something to Dean?" You panic as Dean starts spazzing out on the floor. Coryo glances at you. Lucy Gray did what he told her to do. He had snuck her rat poison to use, if a small amount was to be inhaled, it would be deadly.

You cover your mouth as your eyes widen. Dean was laying on the ground, not moving at all. You flinch at the sound of a buzzer going off, indicating that he was in fact dead. Dean was dead. And you didn't even know how it happened. You storm out but before you could, Coryo grips your arm, "I'm sorry," He says as you furrow your eyebrows at what he meant before snatching your arm from his grip. "Dean is down. Good afternoon Miss Y/l/n," Flickerman calls out.

You storm out with rage. Dean was supposed to win. He was supposed to make it out alive. You even promised him he would come out alive and go back to his family. One moment he was perfectly fine, and then the next, he's on the floor spazzing out and then dead. Your mind drifts back to Coriolanus' words, I'm sorry. What did that even mean? You assumed he was just apologising that your tribute was dead.

~

Lucy Gray had managed to win. You were happy for Coryo of course. But Dean’s recent death still plagued your mind. “Y/n,” Coryo breathed out the moment you opened your door to him; he reached out for you, pulling you against his chest.

It caught you by slight surprise before you hugged him back. The pent up emotions finally releasing the moment he rubs your back affectionately. “Shh” He softly shushed you as waterfalls fall down your cheeks. Everything was chasing up to you.

“I-I don’t even know what happened to him,” You sob in his embrace as he traces shapes on your arm. You continued to rant to him as he brought you to your living room.

You rested your head against his chest as he listened, sometimes he would bite his tongue at the things you were saying about Dean. "He was just a tribute y/n-" "He was not just a tribute." You snapped, lifting your head up as you stared at his blue irises.

Coriolanus rolls his eyes the minute you turn your head back around. "He's human, just like you and I. He had dreams, he had a family to go back to Coryo, do not just sit there and tell me he was just a tribute. He's more than a tribute," Coriolanus listened to every single word that came out of your mouth.

He did not agree with most of the things you said but for the sake of it, he said nothing. When you spoke about Dean, it grew on Coriolanus that you infact liked him, alot. Perhaps even more than like. And that was why he felt the need to kill him. You were his, only his. And after all, he couldn't have some lowly district boy taking over your body and soul.

[jessica-problems]

Seeing @thydungeongal constantly wrestling with people interpreting her posts about D&D in ways that seem completely alien to me has convinced me that there are actually multiple completely distinct activities both being referred to as "playing D&D" Before we begin, I want to stress that I'm not saying one of these groups is Playing The Game Wrong or anything, but there seems to be a lot of confusion and conflict caused by people not being aware of the distinction. In fact, either one works just fine if everyone's on the same page. So far, I think I've identified at least two main groups. And nobody seems to realize the distinction between these groups even exists. The first group of people think of "Playing D&D" as, well, more or less like any other board game. Players read the whole rulebook all the way through, all the players follow the instructions, and the gameplay experience is determined by what the rules tell each player to do. This group thinks of the mechanics as, not exactly the *whole* game, but certainly the fundamental skeleton that everything else is built on top of. People in the second group think of "Playing D&D" as referring to, hanging out with their friends, collaboratively telling a story inspired by some of the elements in the rulebooks, maybe rolling some dice to see what happens when they can't decide. This group thinks of the mechanics of the game as, like... a spice to sprinkle on top of the story to mix things up. (if you belong to this second group, and think I'm explaining it poorly, please let me know, because I'm kind of piecing things together from other people saying things I don't understand and trying to reverse engineer how they seem to be approaching things.) I think this confusion is exacerbated by the fact that Wizards of the Coast markets D&D as if these are the same thing. They emphatically are not. the specific rules laid out of the D&D rulebooks actually direct players to tell a very specific kind of story. You can tell other stories if you ignore those rules (which still counts as "playing D&D" under the second definition, but doesn't under the first)And I think people in both groups are getting mad because they assume that everyone is also using their definition. For example, there's a common argument that I've seen play out many times that goes something like this:

A: "How do I mod D&D to do [insert theme here]?" B: "D&D is really not built for that, you should play [other TTRPG] that's designed for it instead" A: "But I don't want to learn a whole new game system!" B: "It will be easier to just learn a whole new system than mod D&D to do that." A: "whatever, I'll just mod D&D on my own" And I think where this argument comes from is the two groups described above completely talking past each other. No one understands what the other person is trying to say. From A's perspective, as a person in the second group, it sounds like A: "Anyone have some fun inspirations for telling stories about [insert theme here]?" B: "You can't sit around a table with your friends and tell a story about that theme! That's illegal." A: "But we want to tell a story about this theme!" B: "It's literally impossible to do that and you're a dumb idiot baby for even thinking about it." A: "whatever, jerk, I'll figure it out on my own."

--- Whereas, from B's perspective, the conversation sounds like A: "How do I change the rules of poker to be chess, and not be poker?" B: "uhhh, just play chess?" A: "But I already know how to player poker! I want to play poker, but also have it be chess!" B: "what the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean. They're completely different games." A: "I'm going to frankenstein these rules together into some kind of unplayably complex monster and you can't stop me!" ---

So both people end up coming away from the conversation thinking the other person is an idiot. And really, depending on how you concieve of what it means to "play D&D" what is being asked changes considerably. If you're only planning to look through the books for cool story inspiration, maybe borrow a cool little self contained sub-system here or there, then yeah, it's very possible to steal inspiration for your collaborative story from basically anywhere. Maybe some genres are kind of an awkward fit together, but you can make anything work with a little creativity.

If, however, you are thinking of the question in terms of frankensteining two entire board games together, then it becomes a massively difficult or even outright nonsensical idea. For example, for skill checks, the game Shadowrun has players roll a pool of several d6 at once, then count up how many rolled above a target value to see how well a character succeeded at a task. The whole game is full of specific rules about adding or removing dice from the pool, effects happening if you roll doubles, rerolling only some of the dice, and all sorts of other things that simply do not translate to rolling a single d20 for skill checks. On a basic level, the rules of the games work very differently. Trying to make them compatible would be much harder than just learning a new game from scratch. Now, neither of these approaches is exactly *wrong*, I guess, but personally, I find the rules of TTRPGs to be fascinating and worth taking the time to engage with all the weird little nuances and seeing what shakes out. Also, the first group, "TTRPG as fancy board game" is definitely the older and more widespread one. I kind of get the impression that the second group largely got into D&D through actual play podcasts, but I don't have any actual data to back that up. So, if you're in the second group, who thinks of D&D as basically a context for collaborative storytelling first and a game second, please let me know if I'm wildly misunderstanding how you approach D&D. Because I'm pretty sure it would save us a whole lot of stupid misunderstandings.

[capquinn]

In Between | Q. Hughes

summary: your friendship with quinn is slowly transforming. there is an unspoken tension and feelings that simmer beneath the surface, keeping you on the edge of friendship and something more. the in-between is where you both linger, uncertain yet drawn to each other. based upon the song in between by gracie abrams [request] pairing: reader x quinn hughes content: friends to lovers, mutual pining, bit of fluff, easy reading word count: 4.9k ↪masterlist

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Quinn has felt it for a while, though he’s tried to push it aside. It’s subtle at first — small changes in the way he anticipates your messages, the way his heart skips when his phone buzzes, hoping it’s you. He finds himself checking his phone more than usual, almost unconsciously, just to see if you’ve sent something. And when you haven’t, there’s that quiet ache in his stomach, a flicker of disappointment that he tries to ignore. It’s ridiculous, he tells himself, we’re just friends. But the more he talks to you, the more he’s beginning to realise that, whatever it is, feels different.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"I just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two Two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new"

Quinn’s back home for the summer, a rare stretch of time when he’s free from the constant grind of the season. His brothers are sprawled out on the living room floor, teasing each other as they dive into a game of cards. It’s loud, it’s chaotic, and it feels like home. He loves it — this easy, familiar rhythm of being back with his family.

His phone buzzes on the coffee table, cutting through the noise. He glances at the screen and, without hesitation, picks it up. Your name flashes across the screen, and there’s no delay in his reaction — he’s quick to answer nowadays, barely letting it ring twice, his voice immediately softening as he presses the phone to his ear.

“Hey,” he says, and the easy grin that spreads across his face doesn’t go unnoticed by his brothers.

Jack and Luke exchange a knowing glance. It’s subtle, but it’s enough. They’ve seen this look before. The way Quinn’s whole demeanour shifts when he’s talking to you, how his voice drops to that soft, relaxed tone that only seems to happen when you call and a beaming smile that reaches his eyes. 

“Everything okay?” Quinn asks, his attention fully on you, completely oblivious to the smirks forming on his brothers' faces.

“Yeah, just wanted to check in,” you reply on the other end, your voice a little muffled, but he hears the warmth in it. “You doing anything important?”

Quinn leans back in his chair, ignoring Jack’s playful elbow jab as Luke mutters something under his breath that he chooses to ignore. “Nothing important. Just hanging out.”

Since Quinn has been away, you’ve been in more contact than usual; trying to stay connected despite the distance. Calls that stretch late into the night and texts exchanged throughout the day. What were once quick updates are now filled with small, meaningful details and random moments from your day, like you’re inviting him into your world. At first, it felt casual, like old friends catching up but somewhere along the way, it all started to feel different — more intimate and filled with silences that seem to say more than words.

The conversation flows easily, the kind of back-and-forth that’s always existed between you two. You talk about the little things in your day, sharing stories, inside jokes, and quick laughs that come effortlessly, just like always. Quinn’s responses are natural, his voice relaxed, his words flowing without hesitation. It feels familiar, comfortable — like home. But there’s something more beneath the surface now. 

Quinn has felt it for a while, though he’s tried to push it aside. It’s subtle at first — small changes in the way he anticipates your messages, the way his heart skips when his phone buzzes, hoping it’s you. He finds himself checking his phone more than usual, almost unconsciously, just to see if you’ve sent something. And when you haven’t, there’s that quiet ache in his stomach, a flicker of disappointment that he tries to ignore. It’s ridiculous, he tells himself, we’re just friends. But the more he talks to you, the more he’s beginning to realise that, whatever it is, feels different.

He’s trying to pretend it’s just the distance. It’s easier that way, less complicated. You haven’t seen each other in a while — of course he misses you. That’s normal, right? It’s been months since he’s been in the city, and he hasn’t had the chance to hang out with you like he used to. That’s all it is, he tells himself. He’s just missing his friend. But deep down, he knows it’s more than that. This longing he feels isn’t just about the physical distance between you; it’s about the emotional closeness that’s been growing steadily with every call, every shared laugh, every moment that feels more intimate than the last.

The truth is, it’s not just in his head. The way you talk to each other now — the pauses, the laughs, the silences that stretch a little too long — it all feels different. There’s a tension building beneath the surface, and no matter how much Quinn tries to downplay it, it’s there. He knows it, and he’s pretty sure you do too.

“Alright, I’ll let you get back to it,” you say after a few minutes, your voice carrying that familiar warmth that always makes Quinn smile. “Talk soon?”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice softening even more, trying to sound indifferent that the phone call is ending sooner than he’d like. “Talk soon.”

As soon as he hangs up, he’s met with the inevitable barrage of playful nudges from his brothers. Jack leans over, raising an eyebrow in Quinn’s direction. “You could’ve pretended not to be so eager, you know.”

Luke snickers from his spot on the floor, tossing a card into the pile. “She calls, and it’s like everything else just disappears.”

Quinn rolls his eyes, but he can’t hide the slight blush creeping up his neck. “Shut up.”

But Jack isn’t done. He leans forward, elbows on his knees, grinning widely. “Come on, man. We all see it.”

“There’s nothing to see,” Quinn insists, leaning back, trying to brush it off like he always does. But he knows it’s a weak deflection. He’s never been able to hide much from his brothers, and when it comes to you, they’ve seen right through him for a while now.

"Their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough Of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care But he knows her name, she knows he'll always be there"

The bar is buzzing with life — the hum of music, the clinking of glasses, the laughter of people drifting through the air — but it feels distant, like a backdrop to the moment unfolding between you and Quinn. Tucked away in a quiet corner booth, it’s just the two of you, like the rest of the world has blurred out. Ever since Quinn got back to town, it’s been different. The usual rhythm of your friendship has shifted, and you both feel it — the weight of something unsaid, the way every glance and touch feels like it carries a thousand unspoken words.

You’ve been trying to ignore it, trying to convince yourself that maybe you’re imagining things, but the way Quinn’s knee has been brushing against yours under the table, staying there a little too long, makes you question it. It feels deliberate, intentional, as if he’s just waiting for you to acknowledge it. His eyes keep flicking to yours as he talks about training, about the grind of the upcoming season, but you can sense his focus isn’t on hockey. He’s distracted — and so are you.

You take a deep breath, your fingers tracing the rim of your glass as you try to steady yourself. “I ended things with that guy.” You watch Quinn as the words leave your mouth, a little too quickly, a little too nervously.

His reaction is subtle — just a slight pause in his movements. His fingers tighten briefly around the glass in his hand, a flicker of surprise crossing his face before he quickly schools his expression back into something more neutral. But you’ve known Quinn long enough to catch the shift. The easy smile he wore just a second ago falters, and his eyes flicker away from yours, just for a moment. He’s listening, but something has shifted in him now, and you feel it settle in the air between you.

You should feel relieved, like you’ve gotten it off your chest, but instead, your pulse quickens, and the warmth in the room seems to move with it.

Quinn leans back in his seat, taking a long sip of his drink, his jaw tight. “Yeah? You weren’t happy?” His voice is calm, but there’s an edge there, something quiet and careful, as if he’s trying not to show too much. His eyes meet yours again, and though he’s trying to keep his usual steady demeanour, you can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his body has gone just a little bit rigid.

You hesitate, unsure how to answer. It wasn’t about being happy or unhappy with the guy, not really. It was more about how that relationship never stood a chance, not with the way your thoughts have been tangled up in Quinn. But you can’t say that — not here, not now. The tension between you both is palpable, and you’re not sure how much more you can handle.

You shrug, trying to play it off casually. “I guess it just didn’t feel right, you know?”

His gaze sharpens, and you swear you see something flicker behind his eyes, something that makes your breath catch in your throat. “Yeah,” he says, a little too quickly, his voice low and almost distant. “Sometimes it’s like that.”

There’s a beat of silence, and in that moment, everything feels heavy. His leg, which has been brushing against yours under the table, remains there. He doesn’t move away, doesn’t shift, and it sends a wave of awareness through you. You don’t move either. The tension is thick now, humming between you, filling the space that once felt comfortable, but now feels charged with everything you’re both avoiding.

Quinn’s fingers tap against the glass, a telltale sign of his discomfort, but his eyes are locked on yours. The casual ease of your conversation is gone, replaced by something deeper, something unspoken that neither of you can quite name. His usual calm demeanour is cracking, but he’s still trying to hold it together, just like you are.

“You good with it?” he asks, his voice softer now, but there’s a heaviness behind his words, like he’s asking about more than just the breakup. Like he’s asking if you’re okay with the way things are between you and him — the way they haven’t been acknowledged, the way you’ve both been skirting around the inevitable.

You feel your heart skip as you nod. “Yeah. I think it’s for the best.”

He looks down at the table, lips pressing into a thin line, and you wonder if he’s disappointed or if he’s relieved that you’ve dodged the real issue again. The tension between you feels almost unbearable now, like it’s right there, ready to spill over if either of you says the wrong thing. You can see it in the way his posture has shifted, more closed off than usual, and you know he’s doing the same thing you are — keeping it all locked up inside.

The longer the silence stretches, the more aware you become of the weight of his gaze, the subtle shift in his demeanour. His leg remains pressed against yours, and now it feels more deliberate, like he’s testing your boundaries without crossing the line. It sends a shiver through you, but still, you don’t pull away.

You clear your throat, trying to break the tension that’s winding tighter between you both. “So... hockey. You’re ready for the season?” It’s a weak attempt to redirect, but you can’t handle the intensity in his eyes any longer.

Quinn lets out a quiet breath, almost like a sigh of resignation, and his lips curve into a small, humourless smile. “Yeah,” he says, though it’s clear his mind is elsewhere. “Always ready.”

But he’s not talking about hockey anymore. You know it. He knows it. The tension between you is almost suffocating now. You’ve both sidestepped it once again, pretending everything is fine when you both know it’s not.

Still, the silence stretches, and his eyes drift back to yours, holding your gaze for just a moment longer than before. His leg stays where it is, pressed against yours, warm and steady, like an unspoken promise.

You don’t move. Neither does he.

And the tension, the thing you’ve both been avoiding for so long, continues to simmer beneath the surface, waiting for the moment when one of you finally decides to break.

"She toes the line between 'em, he says he's new at this There's holy ground beneath them, and sparks fly when they kiss"

It’s an unusually free Friday night for Quinn — no games, no media commitments, just a rare quiet slot of time that you had both been looking forward to. You’re both on his sofa, a bottle of red wine shared between you, glasses resting on the coffee table as the conversation ebbs and flows. The city is muted through the window, the distant hum of the nightlife outside contrasting with the stillness in his apartment.

The warmth of the wine is settling in, buzzing just beneath your skin, making everything feel a little softer, a little easier. You’re both relaxed, more than you’ve been in a while, and the absence of his usual responsibilities means there is nothing pulling him away. It’s just you and him, and this moment that feels long overdue. 

The conversation has slowed into something quieter now, the playful banter from earlier fading as the night deepens. You’re sitting closer than usual, your legs brushing his, your bodies naturally leaning toward each other in the comfortable warmth of the room, and while you’d like to blame it entirely on the wine, you both know that isn’t true. The drinks are just an excuse, a convenient explanation for the shift that’s been happening between you for weeks — the simmering tension that neither of you have acknowledged yet.

The wineglass in your hand feels warm, the liquid swirling as you take another sip, and you glance over at Quinn. He’s leaning back against the couch, his arm draped along the top, not quite touching you, but close enough that the proximity feels charged. 

You laugh at something Quinn says, the sound filling the quiet space between you, and without thinking, you scoot closer, resting your head on his shoulder. It feels natural, effortless, and you can feel his body relax slightly next to yours. 

“This is nice… being here with you,” you sigh softly, your words lingering in the air, more meaningful than they might seem.

Quinn shifts beside you, turning slightly as if to make more room for you to settle in even closer. His hand, now just brushing against your knee, lingers longer than before. His arm draped along the back of the couch still isn’t quite around your shoulders, but it’s close enough that anyone watching would assume the two of you were already past the point of casual.

There’s a silence between you, the kind that speaks louder than anything either of you could say. The tension, the closeness, the feeling that everything has led up to this moment — it’s undeniable.

Then, softly, Quinn breaks the silence, his voice low and a little hesitant, as if he needs confirmation of what’s already clear. “You feel it too, right?”

He looks at you, his eyes searching yours for clarity, for reassurance. His question isn’t just about tonight — it’s about everything that’s been building between you. The tension, the unspoken connection that’s simmered for a while now. His question hangs in the air, waiting.

You nod, the answer already written across your face before the words even come. “Yeah,” you say, your voice sure. “I do.”

The relief on his face is immediate, and for a moment, everything else fades away. The space between you closes, the weight of the unspoken words dissolves, and suddenly, you’re no longer just two friends dancing around something more.

Quinn’s eyes remain locked on yours, and there’s a vulnerability in his expression that wasn’t there before. He shifts again, his hand moving fully to rest against your thigh now, his touch warm and steady. The question had been lingering between you both for so long, and now, with the truth out in the open, it feels like something is shifting beneath your feet, like you’re standing on the edge of something new, something sacred.

He lets out a small, almost nervous laugh, and his lips curve into a soft smile. 

“I’m new at this,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. It’s not just about admitting he’s new to this kind of intimacy. It’s more than that. It’s about navigating uncharted territory, stepping into something that feels both familiar and foreign all at once. Moving this friendship into something more, and for the love of all things holy, not messing it up. His eyes flicker down for a moment, as if he’s trying to gather himself before looking back at you. “I don’t really know how to...”

The words trail off, but they don’t need to be completed. You can feel the weight of what he’s saying.

There’s a silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. The ground beneath you feels as is its trembling with anticipation, and the moment stretches as Quinn inches closer, his breath warm against your skin. There’s a pause — like he’s giving you one last chance to pull back, to stay in the safety of what you were before — but you don’t.

Quinn's lips meet yours, and the world seems to tilt on its axis. The kiss is soft at first, almost hesitant, as if he's still unsure, but that uncertainty dissolves almost immediately. The tension that’s been coiling between you for weeks… months… finally snaps, unraveling with each second that passes. His hand tightens on your leg, fingers pressing into your skin like he’s grounding himself in this moment, tethering himself to the reality of what’s happening between you.

The kiss deepens, slow but intense, and it feels like every suppressed emotion, every lingering glance, every accidental touch is being released all at once. There’s a heat between you that wasn’t there before. It’s something that goes beyond the warmth of the room or the haze of the drinks. This is raw, electric, and it pulses through you with every breath you take.

His other hand, the one draped over the back of the couch, finally moves, slipping down to gently rest on your shoulder before sliding around to your back. His fingers trace a slow, deliberate path along your spine, and it sends shivers racing down your body. The contact is firm but tender, pulling you in closer, until there’s barely any space left between you.

You respond instinctively, your hands moving to his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath your palms. His heart is pounding just as hard as yours, and the realisation of that shared vulnerability only intensifies the moment. The air between you buzzes, charged with every unspoken word, every unsaid feeling. Your hands slide upward, fingers finding their way to the back of his neck, tangling in his hair, pulling him even closer.

There’s no hesitation now. The pent-up tension that’s been simmering for so long unravels in waves, and it’s not just the kiss. It’s the way your bodies move together, how every touch feels deliberate, meaningful, like you’re both making up for all the moments you held back.

Quinn shifts slightly, pulling you with him, deepening the kiss, and you feel the weight of him, the heat of him, pressing against you. His hands roam more freely now, one slipping from your back to rest on your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt, tugging you closer, needing you closer. Your legs brush against his, and it’s as though every point of contact is sparking something more urgent.

The world outside fades, and all you can feel is him. His warmth. His breath. His heart beating against yours. The tension between you isn’t just releasing — it’s transforming.

There’s no need for words. Everything is being said in the way his hands move over your body, the way your fingers press into his skin, the way the kiss deepens and slows, and deepens again. The tension that’s been keeping you apart for so long has unraveled, and now all that’s left is this — this raw, electric pull that neither of you are resisting anymore.

"She loves how he talks late at night, when there's no one else to say How she's beautiful and funny and smart like nothin' he's ever seen He's good to her and she wants it more than everything in between"

The phone buzzes softly on your nightstand, and you don’t hesitate to grab it, your heart skipping a beat when you see Quinn’s name lighting up the screen. You’ve been in bed for a while now, trying to lose yourself in a book, but the pages blurred as your thoughts drifted to him — away on a road trip for a series of games, alone in some unknown hotel room, hundreds of miles between you. Though it’s not the first time he’s been gone for a stretch, this is the first time you’ve been apart for so long since everything changed between you. The distance feels like more than just time zones. It’s a physical ache, an emptiness that lingers.

You answer on the second ring, eager to hear his voice. “Hey,” you murmur, the late hour making your voice rough.

“Hey,” Quinn’s voice comes through, low and familiar, and just hearing it feels like a balm to the loneliness that’s been creeping in. You can hear the soft rustle of sheets, maybe the distant murmur of a TV on low, and you imagine him in some anonymous hotel room, far from you but somehow closer with every word.

“How’s the trip?” you ask, trying to keep the conversation light even though your chest tightens just hearing his voice.

“Same as usual,” Quinn responds, a hint of exhaustion creeping into his tone. “Long flights, long days. But…” There’s a pause, and you know what he’s going to say before he even says it. “I miss you.”

There’s something so vulnerable in those three words, something that makes your heart clench, and you find yourself smiling into the phone. “I miss you too.”

You can picture him there, lying back in bed, maybe one arm draped over his forehead like he does when he’s trying to hide how tired he is. 

“I love this,” you murmur into the phone, your voice soft, barely cutting through the quiet. Your fingers absentmindedly trace the pattern of the blanket draped across your lap.

“What’s that?” Quinn’s voice, low and a little rough from the day, comes through the line, and even though you can’t see him, you can hear the curiosity in his tone.

“This,” you say with a quiet smile. “Just you. Talking like that.”

On the other end of the line, you hear Quinn chuckle softly, the sound rumbling through the phone in a way that makes you wish he was here, with his laughter vibrating against your skin. “You love hearing me talk, huh?” There’s a teasing lilt to his words.

You press the phone closer to your ear, as if somehow it could make him feel closer. “Yeah, I do,” you admit, feeling the warmth of your confession. “Especially when you get all sweet on me.”

There’s a pause, a beat of quiet between you, and you can practically see Quinn shifting, running a hand through his hair the way he does when he’s caught off guard. “I don’t get sweet,” he protests, but there’s no conviction in his voice. You both know better.

“Mhm, sure you don’t,” you tease gently, heart fluttering. “You don’t tell me I’m beautiful, funny, smart — none of that?”

He sighs, but you can hear the smile in his voice. “Alright, maybe I’ve said that once or twice.”

The air feels lighter between you now, but it’s not enough to shake the ache in your chest, the emptiness of the space beside you. Even through the phone, you can feel the weight of his absence like a shadow, clinging to every moment. This is the part of loving him you didn’t expect — the way missing him would feel so physical, like something tangible pressing against you in the quiet.

Time feels fluid, stretching and slipping away as you talk with Quinn. His voice, low and familiar, wraps around you like a blanket, and the distance between you feels inconsequential, almost forgotten. The conversation is effortless, a mix of soft teasing and the easy exchange of stories from your day — his tales from the road, your small updates, and the shared laughter that punctuates each moment. It's the kind of talk that feels more intimate than the miles would suggest, as if his voice alone closes the gap between you.

Every now and then, the conversation drifts into comfortable silence. You can hear the soft rustle of sheets on his end, the quiet rhythm of his breathing, steady and even.

For a fleeting second, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep — the stillness of his breathing so steady it lulls you, too, into a softer state. But just when you think he’s drifted off, his voice breaks through again, raspy and warm. The sound of it tugs at your heart, a gentle reminder that he’s just as reluctant to let go of this moment as you are.

“You should be sleeping,” you murmur gently, the words laced with both affection and concern.

Quinn chuckles softly, and the sound is so familiar that it tugs at your heart. “Yeah, I probably should,” he admits, though neither of you move to end the conversation. You hear the faint rustle of sheets as he shifts, settling deeper into bed, but there’s still no rush to say goodnight.

Eventually, you give in, your voice thick with exhaustion, still playful. “Goodnight, Quinn,” you say, the words rolling off your tongue in a sing-song tone.

“Don’t go,” he whines softly, and you can hear the smile in his voice, even though he’s clearly just as tired.

“It’s late,” you remind him, knowing he’s been dreading the blare of his alarm in just a few hours.

“Don’t care,” he half lies, and you know he’d stay on the line as long as you let him.

You let out a small laugh. “I’m going to hang up now, but I’m doing it for your own good, so you can’t be mad at me.” 

Quinn sighs on the other end of the line, a sound that’s both exasperated and warm, like he’s really not ready to say goodnight. But before he can protest again, the words slip out — “goodnight. Love you.” 

And for a split second, the air goes still, and your heart skips, freezing in this fragile moment where everything feels suspended. You realise what you’ve said, what’s just hung in the silence between you. Panic flares in your chest, sharp and hot, and before Quinn can respond, you fumble to end the call, your finger hitting the button too fast. 

You toss your phone under your pillow, rolling over as if you can outrun the wave of mortification crashing over you. Your mind spins, replaying the words, each syllable sharper than the last. How could you say it like that? Blurt it out so casually, without thought? What if it was too soon, too forward? What if you’ve pushed him away, scared him off when everything was finally right between you?

The thoughts whirl through your mind, gaining speed as you lie there, squeezing your eyes shut like it’ll stop the embarrassment creeping up your spine. But just as the spiral begins to tighten, your phone buzzes from beneath the pillow. You freeze, your breath catching in your throat. 

With trembling hands, you pull the phone out, dread settling like a heavy weight in your stomach. The screen lights up, and for a second, you hesitate, afraid of what you might see. But then your eyes land on the message, and your breath hitches.

Quinny: Love you too

Relief floods you so quickly it makes you dizzy, your heart swelling with a mixture of disbelief and happiness. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, a quiet laugh escaping your lips as the tension in your body melts away. The words linger in front of you, simple and sure, and you feel the warmth of them settle into your chest, softening everything.

Quinn’s message glows softly in the dim light, and though your relationship has been official for months, it still feels like a quiet, pivotal moment. The in-between — the space you both danced around for so long — has long since disappeared, but the echoes of it remain. It wasn’t just a transition from friends to something more; it was the space where your connection deepened, where the foundation of everything you have now was laid. The friendship that came first is woven into every moment of this relationship, grounding you both in something real, something steady.

You think about that, about how the laughter, trust, and late-night conversations that once kept you in the comfort of friendship are now the very things that make this love feel solid. The in-between was where you found your footing, but it’s the friendship that carried you here, to this place where being with Quinn, loving him, feels as natural as breathing.

[idkdudethisisntpermanent]

Blurred Lines

jenna ortega x female reader

summary: You and Jenna, best friends and actresses, are cast as lovers for the first time, tasked with bringing a romantic chemistry to the screen. But as scenes unfold, the lines between acting and reality begin to blur.

word count: 2.1k

a/n: This was actually the first Jenna story I wrote!

————

What are you thinking so hard about? Jenna asks plopping down in the director's chair next to you.

After being best friends for years, you and Jenna have finally gotten the opportunity to work alongside each other on your latest film Lovestruck, a romance film where you two are playing the lead couple.

You. You wanted to say, but you were 8 years too deep in the friendzone to truly say what was on your mind. "Just the next scene," you smile at her tiredly.

Her eyes light up, "I've been looking forward to this scene for so long!  God just look at that view Y/n!  I'm so jealous of Lalya," she sighs, referencing the character she's playing in the film. "Just who wouldn't love to be confessed to here," your co-star finishes looking over at you with sparkles in her eyes.

When your manager gave you the script for this project, you could only laugh at how much the story paralleled your situation with Jenna.  You were playing Quinn, a girl who has been in love with her friend for years, but couldn't do anything about it.  Eventually the mixed signals and watching the one she loves be with others got too much, and Quinn angrily confesses by the lakefront during a sunset; the view Jenna was fawning over just a minute ago.

You could only wish that the aftermath of any potential confession of yours could resemble the one in this film. Layla ends up reciprocating Quinn's feelings and it's a happy ending.

Unfortunately the universe isn't as perfect as an angsty teen romance, and is rather a sick minded individual who gets a kick out of meddling with people's lives. For years you and Jenna have auditioned for the same projects to play friends, enemies, even sister's but why is it that the one project both of you manage to land is this one?

"Y/n/n!"

Startled, you look over at the girl who's been trying to get your attention for all this time while you zoned out. "Y-yeah sorry. You're right. It would be a dream to be confessed to here."

She hums and stands up before placing a hand on your shoulder looking intently into your eyes, "I'll see you on set after the break, hope you bring your A game Y/l/n," she winks with a smile before walking off.

Jenna walks over to Andrew another actor working the film and immediately starts laughing and touching his arm in conversation.  You couldn't help but roll your eyes, but you also couldn't tear your eyes away from the scene that always happened to unfold in front of you.

It hurts you beyond belief watching your best friend interact flirtatiously with other people. Having to hear about rumoured boyfriends and especially having her not deny them. The mixed signals you got from the girl wasn't any help either, like what was that hand on the shoulder just now? The wink?!

You walk away trying your very best to calm yourself down before your big scene. Jenna frowned as she watched you walk away and towards your personal trailer.

————

The director calls everyone to set and has prepared to shoot the big confession scene. The crew helps you and Jenna find your places and fixes up any imperfections in your clothing. As you stand before your co-star you're hit with a strong wave of emotions. The 20 minutes you spent in the trailer wasn't much help, and now as you watch Jenna who is looking at you curiously, you make a realization.

You may never confess to Jenna. How could you? This friendship was the greatest you've ever had and you were aware of the fact that friendships like this one, don't come easy. It would be insanely stupid of you to confess your love and single-handedly lose a gem like Jenna completely. The more you thought about it, the interactions between Andrew, the rumours with Percy, and countless other boys, the more helpless you felt. There was no way she could feel the same.

"You okay?" the gentle voice you've come to love speaks.

You're silent.  She looks at you with her big doe eyes that you've come to love, but at this very moment you hate so much.  The concern in her eyes is pushing you off the edge.  You hated it.  You hated how her caring nature has only gotten you falling tenfolds harder. Why does she have to be good to me, why does she torture me like this you ask yourself.

"Y/n/n."

You look away, refusing to look into her eyes, scared of the emotions you'll find in them, scared of finding out how much more you could fall in love with her in this moment, so you settle on the view of the sunset.

The director begins a 10 second countdown to cue in the start of the scene and you're still looking at the sunset pondering. This may be the only time that you'll ever speak the words of a confession to Jenna. Yes, to her it'll be you performing the script, Quinn speaking these words, but she doesn't have to know that you will mean all the words you speak with every fibre of your being.

A light smile plays on your lips as you think about the performance you're about to give and how it should get you nominated for all the acting awards in existence. The lines of Quinn and Y/n have blurred, and you are playing no character other then yourself.

You won't be acting.

"Action!"

The scene begins and you start marching away from Jenna like the script told you to.

"Wait- Stop!" Jenna says frantically grabbing on to your arm.You roll your eyes, shrugging her off and continue walking.

"Why do you insist on hurting me?" She shouts, following the script.  You stop walking and pause.One beat. Two beat. Just like the script instructed. You turn around, glaring at her with more intensity than the script demands, "Me? Hurt you? That's rich coming from you."

Jenna hesitates, caught off guard by the seriousness in your voice, but quickly recovers, staying in character.

"Yes you asshole! I invite you to the lake house, and all you do is ignore me!"  Groaning into your hands, you speak your next line.  "Layla. You're joking right?"

"No Q, I'm not.  Do you even care about me?  It's my fucking birthday, and you're acting like I'm not even here, sulking in one of your moods and embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

"Then what am I?"

"What?"

You laugh, running your hands through your hair, struggling to keep your emotions in check.

"If those are your little fucking friends, then what am I to you?"

Jenna acted taken aback like she was supposed to, "My friend? My best friend? I don't know that's not the point! Wh-"

You cut her off, "But it is the point!"

You break the script.

You blink hard, letting the tears that were building up before the scene fall down your face.

Jenna had a look in her eyes that you've never seen before it was confusion and something else you couldn't pinpoint. Being the amazing actress that she is, she improvs her next line, so the scene can get back on track.

"Here you go again not wanting to address the real issue," she rolls her eyes.

You decide to stick to the script with tears streaming down your face. "I can't keep doing this anymore Layla," the words carrying the weight of years of hidden feelings. "Watching you with them, pretending I'm fine when I'm not. I can't just be your friend anymore."

Jenna's eyes widen, her character momentarily forgotten as she registers the raw emotion in your voice. "Quinn... what are you saying?"

You take a deep breath, letting it all out, the pain, the frustration, the love. You're about to do it and you hope that just for a second your performance will blur the lines for Jenna. "I'm saying that I'm in love with you, and I have been for a long time. And it kills me every time I see you with someone else, knowing I can't be the one to make you smile like that."

The silence that follows is deafening. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, waiting for her response, both in character and out of it. The director's voice seems far away as he doesn't call cut, letting the scene play out naturally. For a moment you start to think that Jenna has forgotten her line, she's supposed to say, "For how long?"

But she goes off script.

She takes a step forward so she's only a foot away from you and takes your trembling hands (that you didn't even realize were shaking) in her own, an attempt to calm you down.

Jenna, as Layla, steps closer, her own tears glistening in the fading light. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Quinn? Why did you let me go on thinking we were just friends?"

Your voice cracks as you respond, "Because I was scared. Scared of losing you, scared of ruining what we have. But I can't keep pretending anymore."

Jenna reaches up, gently cupping your face with her hands, her touch warm and soft. "You idiot," she whispers, her voice trembling. "How could you not know? How could you think for even a second that I didn't feel the same way?"

Her words hit you like a ton of bricks, and for a moment you forget that you're on set, that this is all supposed to be a performance. It feels too real, too raw.

"T-then what about everything I see? All those guys?" You say staying true to the script, but you couldn't hold your tongue and add, "The rumours? The interactions I always see?"

Jenna clearly seems taken aback by your addition to the script, and opens her mouth and closes it, at a loss for words.

You can't help yourself and continue, "Do you have any idea what it's like to watch you with other guys? To see you flirt with everyone else and feel like I'm just...invisible?"

Jenna's heart races as she realizes the depth of your feelings, the lines between the script and reality blurring completely.

Jenna continues, the rest of the scene now being pure improv. With tears in her eyes, "I wasn't trying to hurt you...Q. I wanted you to notice me. To see me the way I see you.

You freeze, your heart pounding in your chest. Jenna's voice is trembling, her gaze locked on yours, and for the first time you realize she's not just playing a role. She's confessing, right here, in front of everyone.

"I've been in love with you for so long," you get out through tears, "But all I've ever seen is you with them... like I don't even exist."

The shorter girl steps closer, dropping the last remnants of her character. Her hands reach up to cup your face, her touch gentle and filled with unspoken emotion.

"I didn't know how to tell you, Quinn. I was scared, so I tried to make you jealous, provoke you into action, hoping you'd finally do something. I-I was hoping you'd see how much I care. How much I...love you.

Your breath catches, your heart pounds in your ears, and you break character completely not caring anymore, in a trembling voice you ask, "You really feel the same way?"

Jenna nods, tears spilling over as she smiles, a mixture of relief and vulnerability in her expression.

"Yes, Q. I've always felt this way. I was just too scared to admit it... but not anymore."

You blink, struggling to process what's happening. This wasn't in the script—none of this was. But it's real, and it's happening now.

You smile through the tears, "Then let's stop pretending, Jenna. No more games... I'm yours if you'll have me.

Jenna lets out a small, tearful laugh, pulling you into a tight embrace. The cameras are still rolling despite your name drop, but none of that matters anymore. She pulls back just enough to look at you, her eyes shining with a love that's no longer hidden.

"I've always been yours. Always."

In that moment, you lean in, pressing your lips to hers in a kiss that's filled with all the years of longing and love you've both kept hidden. When you finally pull away, you're both breathless, tears of happiness mingling with the raw emotion of the scene.

The director calls "Cut," but neither of you moves, still lost in each other's eyes. For a moment, the set is silent, the crew unsure if they've just witnessed the best acting of your careers or something far more real. But you both know the truth—and it's better than any script that could have been written.

[kingofbodyrolls]

Jungkook fic recs 2024 🥳

In honor of Jungkook’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Jungkook stories, that I’ve read this past year (2023-2024) 💜 I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹🥳

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗ 

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!

Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’, last years Jungkook recs or  last years recs 🙂

[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄. 

⭐When the End Comes (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [77.9k] // jjk x f.reader // breakup!au, slice of life!au, photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!reader // 🌩️🌩️🌩️🥵

📝 seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

🗨️ this is a sequel to ‘The Forgotten Spaces’, which was just *chef’s kiss* 😘 The series is completed now – and afsfdfdsfg it was just so damn beautiful and the ending!!! It was definitely worth all my tears 🥹💜

⭐Stretch You Out @chateautae [24k] // jjk x knj x f.reader // college!au, s2f2l, gym employee!namjoon, gym employee!jungkook // 🥵🥰

📝 you have a plan for your crappy, diabolical ex who’s set on ruining your life; making him jealous by snagging a raunchy photo with two hot employees at the gym. what you didn’t have a plan for? befriending the mischievous pair to aid in your revenge and ending up underneath not just one, but both of them.

🗨️ holy fucking shit 🥵 🫣 this was so exceptionally good! So deliciously filthy, it really delivered on every freaking aspect 💯 incredible 👏🏾 perfection 👏🏾💎

⭐The Wedding Planners @gukyi [28K] // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 😂🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Jeon jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. then your best friend hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly jeon jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding. 

🗨️ what I love about this is one, is definitely the slow-burn and the enemies to lovers aspect too. The banter between reader and Jungkook is just so priceless and reading how their relationship slowly unfolds and develops through the months of the wedding planning was just everything 💯 Hoseok and Yoongi’s personality in this also makes this fic truly amazing.

⭐Fragment of the Past (1)(2)(3) (series; completed) @ctrlsht [28.1K] // jjk x f.reader // patient!jk x psychiatrist!reader // 🌩️😈👻🥵

📝 you are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

🗨️ another first for me, with the thriller vibes and damn it delivers on that! It’s really, really good 👏 Pacing is really good and how we see more and more of Jungkook’s disturbing traits is just brilliant ✨

⭐Brother’s best friend @lavishedinjimin [5.3K] // jjk x f.reader // brothers best friend!au // 🥵

📝 in which Y/n owns a smut blog dedicated to her crush and brother’s best friend, jungkook. it was all fun and games until he finds out about it and acts it out with you. 

🗨️ at first I was like ‘this is very cute’ and then it turned so dirty so fucking fast I almost got whiplash 😂✨

⭐To Give a Helping Hand: pt1 + pt2 (series; ongoing) @oddinary4bts [1.8k] // jjk x f.reader // idol!au // 🥵

📝 when Jungkook comes home from the gym, he goes feral thinking about you.

🗨️ I don’t know where to begin… everything Ella writes is pure gold, why would this short one be any different? 🥵 I fucking loved it; it was hot and Jungkook was so needy! And you know what? I think she’s working on part two!!!!! ✨🥵 (seriously, can’t recommend this enough!!!)

⭐When Worlds Collide (series; ongoing) @letjungcoook7 [currently loading…] // jjk x f.reader // college!au, slice of life!au, s2l, fuckboy!jk, virgin!reader // 🥵🌩️

📝 since your mother's passing a year ago, life has been a whirlwind. balancing your passion for ballet with a low-key presence at college, where you’re the top student, was your norm until Jungkook stepped into your world. known for his reputation preceding him, jungkook is the talk of the campus with his casual rendezvous that have the girls buzzing. despite his allure, you're puzzled by his need for your tutoring prowess, especially given his own academic merit. yet, succumbing to his persistent requests, you reluctantly agree, only to find yourself thrust into the spotlight you've always avoided.

🗨️ this story is so good! It’s still being updated and there’s so much drama in it that is slowly being unraveled! 💜

⭐Liquor Lips @letjungcoook7 [1.5k] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵

📝 left intentionally blank by the author.

🗨️ it was incredible good, like I want to read more (it’s not a series though!). It’s the perfect dirty little one-shot/drabble ❤️‍🔥

⭐Chasing Cars (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [218.5k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, forbidden love!au, college!au, slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

🗨️ the series has just ended and it is seriously so fucking good ✨ But you should pack some tissues, a hot cup of tea or coffee, because you’ll want to read through everything because of the cliffhangers and drama - also remember to read the drabbles for JK's pov too 💖

⭐Bottle Up Old Love @wintaerbaer [4.6k] // jjk x f.reader // exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.

🗨️ I really love how protective Jungkook is in this one, and damn the smut 🥵 It’s so fucking good!!!

⭐Hold Me Close + Hold Me Closer @ahundredtimesover [22.6k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.

🗨️ omg this was so fucking amazing 😭✨ The characters are amazing in this, there’s cute backstory, details and the sibling bond is top tier, and the chemistry between oc and Jungkook is so fucking good! The tension is perfect and I love the slow burn 🥰 I feel this was also a bit on the existential side, which I really love. Like the dialogue had me thinking about my own life! I love when that happens! And it was so fun reading about siblings, and I’m missing my own baby sister right now. Anyway, it was exceptionally good! Amazing! 💯 And there’s a mention of Jungkook’s glazed potato incident you can’t miss! It was so fun (both this and the run episode 😂). Can’t recommend this one enough!!

⭐Jump Then Fall (Into You): pt1 + pt2 + pt3 (one-shot; completed) @writtenwhalien [52k] // jjk x f.reader // bf2l, cruise!au, fake dating!au // 🌩️🥰🥵

📝 bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?

🗨️ I seriously can’t recommend this one enough! I love longer stories because it gives a chance for the characters to develop better! And this does that perfectly; even the minor/background/supporting characters have such a deep and rich story it’s just brilliant!! 💎 And the relationship between oc and Jungkook? 🌶️ Delicious tension, having to pretend to be a couple, when you’re practically already a couple, but haven realized it yet? 🤭 It is just perfect!!!

⭐Ultimatum @parkmuse [10.3k]  // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵😂

📝 your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).

🗨️ omfg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don’t know where to start with this one, first off, if you haven’t read it before, please go read it, because it is fucking hilarious, even in the smut scenes 😂 Which, fyi, they were really good, smutty and funny!  Okay. There was one scene in there right, I laughed way too hard at!!!! Really good and amazing! 👏💯

⭐Will it Fit? @jeonsweetpea [6.7k] // jjk x f.reader // roommates!au, i2l // 🥵🌩️🥰😂

📝 so what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…

🗨️ the banner alone had me giggling way too much! Like his face, and with the title— it’s just fucking hilarious 🤣 And the story did not disappoint one bit, fuck, everything was so good and amazing! Their banter, tension and humor was just perfectly on point ✨ This was just incredibly perfect 💯

⭐Dumbo @cinnaminsvga [17.2k]  // jjk x f.reader // s2l // 🥵😂😂

📝 you know what they say about boys with big noses… {or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}

🗨️ this was just so fucking hilarious I don’t even know where to begin 😂 I don’t know how many times the word ‘dick’ or its many different variations is used in this fic, but damn it a lot, and damn is it fun! 🤣 There’s so many dick jokes it should be criminal! It was so good though, the story was just too funny, almost absurd (lol), but dammit it’s a new favorite! 💯

⭐Fool for You (series; completed) @btsgotjams27 [24.9k]  // jjk x f.reader // college!au, fake dating, s2f2l // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when Jungkook is finally single, you shoot your shot.

🗨️ This is a short series and it’s really good— it’s cute, has angst and a happy ending ✨

⭐Make it Right @jungkxook [11.5k] // jjk x f.reader // band!au, exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️

📝 you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too.

🗨️ gaaaaahhh, I’m crying 😭 This was so beautiful, bittersweet 😭 I loved it so much and their love, omg, so pure, so precious. His song for her, I’m just like 😭 (can you tell I’m a sobbing mess?) Definitely a new favorites and I loved the fact that, they both knew they were broken, waiting for each other, and even though broken, they will heal and take it slow 😭💯

⭐Coffee Stain @oddinary4bts [1.9k] // jjk x f.reader // grief!au // 🌩️🌩️🌩️

📝 you grief, and it's the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.

🗨️ do you want to cry, but not able too? Go and read this! It’s so fucking sad, but so incredible beautiful and sweet, it will make you tear up in now time. As said before, Ella just have a way with words, and in this one, they sure do hurt a lot 😭 But I fucking love it ✨

⭐Bite Me, Jeon @sailoryooons [19.3k] // jjk x f.reader // f2l, vampire!au, college!au // 🥵🌩️👻🪄

📝 somehow you convince Jeon Jungkook to look into theories of vampirism for a research paper. What Jungkook doesn’t expect, is for vampirism to become a very real and very personal problem for him.

🗨️ this one is insanely good! It’s so amazing! This one reminds me of Ghostfacers from Supernatural, lol. It was so freaking funny. I was pleasantly surprised at the plot, and I loved it. If you haven’t read this one yet, and you love vampires, this one is definitely for you!!! 🥰

⭐Confided @cravetive [5k] // jjk x f.reader // neighbor!au // 🥵

📝 y/n didn't think testing out a new sex toy would cause so much havoc but no worries, her next-door neighbor Jungkook doesn't mind lending her a bit of assistance.

🗨️ holy shit it was amazing and the smut….. Fuuuuck I’m not gonna lie here okay, I was dripping, I was feeling it so fucking bad and damn. It was hot. The plot was so silly and hot, like omg 🥵

This is my little corner with my own fics— I don’t write that much (I prefer to read), but it would mean a lot to me if you checked out my work or read it. You don’t have to, it’s up to you of course 🥰

⭐Say That Again (I Dare You) [13.1k] // jj x f.reader x pjm // est. relationship (jjk), threesome, slice of slice!au // 🥵

📝you moan in your sleep, and your boyfriend knows this, but when you keep moaning another man’s name in your sleep - and that man just happens to be one of your friends? What will Jungkook do? 

🗨️ this is just pure smut, lol. I wrote it as a birthday gift to all you people 😂

⭐Say I Do [5.2k] // jj x f.reader // wedding!au // 🥵

📝you and Jungkook tease each other at your wedding reception.

🗨️ again, this is just pure smut, nothing else 😂

⭐Till We Meet Again [11.4k] // jj x f.reader // mermaid!au, fantasy!au, childhood f2l, nostalgia // 🥵🪄🥰😂

📝when your childhood friend that you had a crush on, moved away out of the blue— you never thought you’d see him again. A night swim in the ocean will have you feeling delusional, but the voice that fills your ears— sweet like cotton candy, you’d recognize that voice anywhere, it’s Jungkook.

🗨️ this is a favorite of mine, and it’s just really really cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of smut 🥰

And as a something little extra, here’s a few fics that I haven’t had the time to read yet, but damn I’m buzzing to get to read them:

Red Light (series; ongoing) @bunnybubae

Ember Burning @kpopfanfictrash

Seven Days (series; ongoing) @kithtaehyung

Dextrocardia (series; ongoing) @jeonstudios

All That Glitters (series; completed) @aquagustd

In This Paradise @ressjeon

Make You Mine @mercurygguk

Castaway @hamsterclaw

For Science (series; completed) @boymeetsweevil

Heart of the Storm @ladyartemesia

Happy birthday to our GOLDEN man Jeon Jungkook!!!! 🥳💜✨

[dolliethv]

Into you.

summary: English is not my first language, so if you notice any mistakes I'm sorry!! story inspired by the song "Into You" by Ariana Grande, I hope you enjoy it xoxo!

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x fem reader!!

Word count: about 3,6k

The deafening sound of the crowd at Wembley still echoed in your ears as the lights went out, marking the end of your final performance on tour. It had been a resounding success. There’s no better feeling than hearing thousands of people singing along to your songs, feeling that genuine connection that only true artists experience on stage. However, as the music faded, the reality behind the curtain pulled you back into a world where freedom was nothing but an illusion.

Adrenaline still coursed through your body as the crew surrounded you, congratulating you on the show. But amidst the laughter and praise, your personal assistant quickly approached with a serious look and a tablet in hand.

“You were amazing, as always,” your assistant began, though the tone of their voice hinted that the compliment came with bad news. “But there’s something you can’t avoid. Tonight’s event. Your team needs you to attend.”

You take a deep breath. There’s always something. A red carpet, a charity event, a fashion show... something that reminds you that your public life never rests. But this particular event makes you more uncomfortable than others. You know that your team has arranged for you to attend with a model, one of the men the tabloids have been pairing you with for weeks. Perfect photos for the paparazzi, fabricated rumors to feed the public's curiosity.

“Does it have to be tonight?” you ask, though you already know the answer.

“It’s important for the brand, to maintain the narrative... You know how it is,” your assistant replies with an apologetic grimace.

With a resigned sigh, you nod. You know it all too well. This isn’t the first time you’ve been trapped in this kind of situation, and it probably won’t be the last.

Hours later, with the glow of Wembley still fresh in your mind, you find yourself inside a black limousine, on your way to the event. You’re dressed in an elegant purple silk outfit, characterized by its shine and smooth texture. The outfit has a sensual and glamorous style, with a cross-cut top that reveals part of your abdomen and a long, high-waisted skirt. The dark purple color adds a touch of luxury and sophistication. Your makeup and delicate jewelry, along with the violet bow tied at the back, complement the atmosphere and make you stand out at the presentation. Beside you, the model assigned to you for the night—a tall, attractive man—means absolutely nothing to you. Everything is a show. And although your face shows a perfect smile, inside, you feel more and more empty.

Upon arrival, the flashes begin to light up every corner. The cameras don’t stop firing. You pose hand in hand with the model, your bodies close together, simulating the intimacy that doesn’t exist between you. Your laughs are rehearsed, your gestures, calculated. It’s just another performance, but this time, the discomfort in your chest is more palpable than ever.

What people don’t know, what the cameras don’t show, is that Jude Bellingham is also at the event, dressed in a modern, high-fashion ensemble. The outfit includes a black suit with embroidered rose details and brand patterns. The avant-garde touch comes from the jacket he wears open, with no shirt underneath, and a white scarf wrapped around his neck. White sunglasses and sturdy black shoes complete the look, giving him an air of sophistication and modernity. Somewhere in the room, he watches the scene, battling his own instincts.

For months now, the connection between the two of you has been undeniable. Stolen moments at previous events, clandestine conversations in the shadows. There’s something between you that can’t be faked or forced. And although both of you are trapped in the fame game, your relationship has grown in secret. Jude loves you. More than he’s willing to admit out loud.

But tonight, seeing you so close to another man, smiling for the cameras as if you’re really enjoying it, makes his stomach turn. Trent Alexander-Arnold, his teammate and friend, notices the tension in Jude as they both watch from a discreet corner.

“Man, don’t get like this,” Trent whispers, trying to calm him down. “You know how this game works. It’s just marketing. Nothing more.”

Jude clenches his fists. He knows. He understands. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

And then it happens.

As you pose for the cameras, you try to subtly pull away from the model, wanting to break the contact and end the photo session. But the man, following the marketing team’s instructions, grabs your arm roughly, pulling you back to continue posing. The gesture is quick, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. The expression of discomfort on your face is clear, and though you try to hide it, the damage is already done.

From his position, Jude feels his blood start to boil. That jerk touched you in a way he shouldn’t have. Too rough. Too disrespectful.

“Did you just see that?” Jude asks through clenched teeth, staring at the model still holding your arm.

Trent notices it too and knows he has to intervene quickly.

“Jude, calm down,” he says, stepping between him and the scene. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

But Jude barely hears him. Every muscle in his body is tense, ready to disfigure that idiot's face. Rage blinds him, and all he can think about is protecting you. How dare he treat you like that in front of everyone?

Jude takes a step forward, but Trent grabs his arm firmly.

“No, Jude. Not here. Not now. This will only make things worse,” his friend insists. “Think about what will happen if you cause a scene. You know it won’t end well for either of you.”

Jude breathes heavily, but little by little, reason returns to his mind. Trent is right. Causing a scene here, in the middle of all those photographers and cameras, would only complicate things further. But that doesn’t mean he accepts it.

From a distance, his eyes meet yours. And in that instant, he understands that you’re fed up too. He can see it in your gaze, in the way your lips tremble slightly, holding back your frustration. Both of you are trapped in this game, and neither of you can take it anymore.

When the model finally lets go of you, you discreetly step away, walking toward a more secluded corner, pretending you need a break. Jude, still furious, watches you, making sure you’re okay.

“I promise this won’t last much longer,” Jude mutters through clenched teeth as Trent looks at him with determination. “I’ll find a way to get us out of this.”

Trent nods, understanding that his friend is serious. And although the situation is complicated, Jude has always been someone who gets what he wants.

As the event’s lights continue to shine and the cameras keep capturing perfect images, deep down, both of you know you can’t keep pretending much longer.

The vibrant music and murmurs of the crowd still echo in the air, but all you can think about is the scene you just lived through. When the model grabbed your arm with that unrestrained force, a flood of emotions washed over you. You feel trapped, as if your voice, once confident, is on the verge of being drowned by the pressure of the show. As you walk away from the cameras, a desperate desire to escape the world you’ve created pushes you forward.

Looking for refuge, you find an empty room at the end of a hallway. The walls are elegantly adorned, but the opulence can’t distract you from your vulnerability. You sink into a chair, feeling the tears start to well up in your eyes.

“Calm down, don’t cry...” you whisper to yourself, trying to keep your composure. “You can’t let this affect you.”

But the pressure of fame, the expectations, and the pain of being treated like an object overwhelm you. You hug yourself, recalling moments when you’ve felt strong and secure. That image the tabloids show of you, the perfect woman, is nothing but a mirage. It’s a constant performance, and tonight, the game has crossed a line you’re not willing to accept.

Meanwhile, Jude is elsewhere at the event, feeling his heart tighten. The anger still bubbles inside him, and despite Trent’s efforts to calm him, he can’t ignore the distress he saw on your face. The protective instinct he’s always had drives him to act.

“I’m going to find her,” he announces, his voice low but firm.

Trent gives him a warning look, but Jude is already in motion, his determination pulling him toward where he knows you’ve gone. Every step he takes is a reminder that he’s not going to let anyone treat you like that. The thought that any man, whoever he may be, could lay a hand on you and make you feel uncomfortable is unbearable to him.

When he finally finds you, the scene before him breaks his heart. You’re sitting, head bowed, trying to hold back tears. Jude can’t help but feel a wave of compassion wash over him. He approaches slowly, and when you look up, your eyes are filled with sadness.

“Baby...” he whispers, making his way toward you and wrapping you in his arms. “I’m here.”

The embrace is instantly comforting, a bubble of safety that seems to shield you from the outside world. You sink into his chest, feeling his warmth surround you. The pressure of your emotions begins to fade, at least a little. Jude holds you tighter, as if with that simple gesture he could erase your pain.

“I won’t let anyone treat you like that, ever,” he says, his voice thick with anger.

You feel your heart tighten in a strange way. Jude’s protective instinct is one of the things you love most about him, but it also makes you feel vulnerable. Still, at that moment, you need it. You wipe away a tear and smile weakly.

“I know... I just... I feel so overwhelmed sometimes,” you confess, your voice barely a whisper.

“You need a break,” Jude said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “This world can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone. I’m here with you, and I’ll always be by your side. Always.”

You take a deep breath, feeling how his words wrap you in a warmth you haven’t experienced in a long time. Fame, the spectacle—it can all be suffocating, but Jude is there, always ready to remind you of your true worth. In that embrace, you realize you’re not alone. You have someone who understands you and who’s willing to protect you, even in a world that often seems so hostile.

“Thank you, Jude,” you murmur, and your eyes shimmer with the tears you’ve been holding back. “Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore.”

“You can always handle more than you think,” Jude says, leaning in toward you, his gaze intense. “You’re not alone in this. You never will be.”

Jude steps back slightly, making sure you’re looking at him. His expression is serious, but there’s a spark of determination in his eyes.

“I’m not going to let anyone make you feel like that again. I promise.”

You nod, feeling the weight on your shoulders lighten, if only a little. Jude has been your refuge, and in your heart, you know that together, you can face any storm fame throws at you.

“We need to escape,” he says, his dark eyes shining with a mix of determination and tenderness.

You look at him, still feeling the echo of your vulnerability, but a spark of excitement runs through your body. You nod, feeling that in his company, you could find the courage to leave everything behind.

As you walk together, Jude firmly takes your hand, guiding you toward the parking lot. But when you reach a luxurious black car, you stop in your tracks.

"Hey big guy, hold on a second, I can't keep up with you in these heels!" you said with fake frustration.

"Come on baby, you have to use those heels to your advantage, with those on we can finally have a face to face conversation, even though I'm still two heads taller than you" He said in a mocking tone trying to annoy you.

"Oh, don't tell me you're going to surprise me! You finally learned to drive, Mr. Twenty-one-year-old, sir? “ you ask, smiling playfully trying to divert the conversation a little by trying to make fun of him.

Jude looks at you, a little embarrassed.

“Uh... no. But I can try,” he responds, with a mix of confidence and nervousness.

You get in the car, and Jude takes the wheel, his hands steady but a little shaky. When he starts the engine, the car roars to life, and he takes a turn, but the car jerks violently, making both of you burst into laughter.

“Damn it!” Jude exclaims, trying to correct the movement.

You laugh uncontrollably, feeling the tension dissipate in the atmosphere of the backseat.

“In this context, the prince is supposed to rescue the princess by riding his horse, but...” you say, pretending to be deep in thought. “What happens if your ‘horse’ jerks around?”

Jude grins mischievously.

“I’m supposed to be the hero here, not the princess. I’m going to learn how to drive!”

Finally, after several laughs and a couple of attempts, he gives up.

“You drive!” he declares with frustration.

You take the wheel between laughs, enjoying the feeling of freedom as you drive away from the event and the crowd. As the city fades behind you, a new emotion takes over: the adrenaline of escape.

When you arrive at the motel, you and Jude exchange nervous glances, holding back laughter from the adventure. As you get out of the car, a biting cold greets you, and Jude, with a protective smile, drapes his coat over your shoulders.

“I don’t want you to get cold, okay?” he says, his voice soft.

You’re overwhelmed by the gesture and smile at him, though you blush when you notice he’s left standing bare-chested, showing off his muscles in the cold London night. Jude’s tanned skin glows under the motel lights, making him look even more attractive.

“Jude, that’s not necessary,” you murmur, laughing softly.

He smiles, a mischievous spark in his eyes.

“You think I’m going to let you freeze while I’m standing here ‘shirtless’? It’s a matter of principle.”

You laugh, enjoying his boldness and the absurdity of the situation.

“You look like a Ken doll,” you say, looking him up and down.

“A black, sexier Ken doll,” Jude replies, laughing as you wrap yourself in his oversized coat.

As you approach the reception, Jude frowns, remembering they need to keep a low profile.

“Wait a second, we need to come up with something,” he says, searching through the car.

As you both rummage, Jude finds a hat he had forgotten about.

“Look!” he exclaims, pulling it out and putting it on his head. “This should help.”

You laugh at how ridiculous he looks in the hat, but you can’t resist the idea.

“And I’ll wear your sunglasses,” you say, searching the car and finding a pair of sunglasses Jude had left behind.

When you finally make it to the reception desk, a man in his seventies looks at you with curiosity. Jude tries to keep his composure, though he blushes a little at how ridiculous you both look.

“Hi, we have a reservation…” he stammers.

The receptionist, with playful smile, looks at them over closely.

“I won’t say anything about you, I knew you guys were a couple!” he assures them with a wink. His eyes gleam with complicity, as if he knows exactly who you are.

You exchange glances with Jude, trying to hold back laughter at how absurd you must seem.

“Thanks, we appreciate it,” Jude says, relieved.

As you head to your room, laughing and running, the receptionist calls out again.

“By the way, you two look adorable together. Have fun!” he says with a warm smile.

When you enter the room, Jude turns to you, a mischievous smile on his face.

“You know what? This is way better than the party. Now we’re in ‘our bubble,’” he says, spreading his arms as if inviting you into a world that belongs only to the two of you.

You walk over, laughing as you savor the moment.

“Sure, as long as you don’t try to drive the car again.”

The motel room is small, but its atmosphere is filled with a vibrant energy that hums in the air. You find yourself in a space that feels far removed from the world, where the worries of the outside fade away. The soft light filtering through the windows highlights your face, reflecting the smile you share with Jude, a smile born from the growing bond between you.

Jude falls onto the bed, his gaze fixed on you, while you snuggle up, keeping warm in his coat.

“How about we do something fun?” he asks, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Like what, a tickle fight?” you reply.

“No, something more intimate,” he says, moving a little closer.

You feel the heat rise between you, a mix of laughter and nerves. Jude tilts his head toward you, getting close enough to whisper in your ear:

“Do you have any idea how much I love being here with you?”

His voice is soft, like velvet, sending a shiver down your spine. When you look at him, his eyes lock with yours, and in that moment, nothing else exists but the two of you. Jude brushes his hand across your face, gently caressing your cheek.

“Every moment with you is special.” you murmur softly.

The romantic tension in the air intensifies as Jude smiles, savoring the closeness. He leans in a little more, and you cradle his cheeks in both hands, his lips nearly brushing your skin, but instead of a kiss, it’s a soft touch, a hint of what could be.

You both let yourselves be carried by the current of your connection. You play with the edge of the coat you’re still wearing, moving a little closer to him, feeling his warm body near yours. Jude smiles, his eyes twinkling with understanding.

“Did you know hugs are my favorite form of communication?” he says with a playful smile.

“And what if I give you one?” you ask, wrapping your arms around him.

Jude lets out a soft laugh, enjoying the warmth of your embrace. The way you're lying, with Jude almost on top of you but without crushing you, makes you feel completely wrapped in that hug. However, the laughter soon turns into something deeper; your bodies come closer in an embrace that feels like it could last forever. You can feel his heartbeat, and your own breathing quickens.

Suddenly, you start laughing, breaking the tension, and Jude joins in. You both sit up on the bed, still laughing, enjoying the lightness of the moment. He gently pushes you back, making you fall onto the bed, and out of nowhere, Jude bends down and starts giving quick kisses on your stomach, tickling you lightly.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” you say, still laughing as you readjust yourself.

“I never said I was a fair hero,” Jude replies, looking at you with that mix of tenderness and mischief that always makes you smile.

Then, he leans toward you, his face so close you can feel his breath. His gaze intensifies, and the outside world fades away. Jude strokes your hair gently, and you feel lost in those small gestures, those moments of intimacy that speak louder than any words.

“Do you want to play a game?” Jude suggests, breaking the silence.

“What kind of game?” you ask, intrigued.

“We could play a whisper game. The first one to laugh loses,” he says, smiling mischievously.

“I accept the challenge,” you respond, smiling back.

Jude leans in, his lips almost brushing your skin, and begins whispering in your ear, soft words that make your heart race.

“Bread with tomato and ham,” he says, just loud enough for only you to hear.

You try to keep a straight face, but you can’t help but smile; it’s so bad that it’s funny.

“You can’t do that to me,” you say, trying to hold back your laughter.

“What? You don’t like what you’re hearing?” Jude replies, moving even closer, his voice dripping with provocation.

“You’re such an idiot,” you exclaim, bursting into laughter.

Jude smiles triumphantly, and the two of you dive into a sea of laughter and games. You push each other playfully, trying to keep a straight face while having fun on the bed.

Amid the laughter, Jude leans in toward you again, this time more serious, and whispers:

“Sometimes, I wonder how it’s possible that we have this intense connection.”

You feel the weight of his words, and your gaze deepens.

“Maybe we’re meant to be together in some way,” you respond, feeling your heart race.

Jude smiles, knowing the night has evolved in a way neither of you had anticipated.

“It’ll always be our little bubble,” he says, his eyes full of promises. "I love you with my life" He looked into your eyes in such a sincere way.

"I love you babe thank you for absolutely everything" you said kissing his nose, a very intimate gesture that meant a lot.

You both look at each other, feeling like this moment belongs to just the two of you. The touch of hands, the shared whispers, and the echoing laughter are evidence of a connection that goes beyond the physical; it’s a bond that promises something special in every gesture, every laugh, every glance. The night continues, and in your world, anything is possible.

You spend the night in soft laughter that fills the room with genuine closeness, interspersed with slow kisses and touches that say more than words ever could. You draw closer to one another, letting the silence and the rhythm of your breathing blend with the sounds of the night, as intimacy wraps around you both completely, melting into a space where time seems to stand still. Without rush or hurry, you let your bodies and gazes connect, diving into a deep, warm closeness, as if the outside world no longer existed.

[buckbuckbarnesstuff]

Completed Series

Get yourself a snack, enjoy these wonderful series and leave some love for the creative writers :)

♤ - includes sexual themes

Also, this gif has me in a chokehold

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Something domestic [50k] @fandoms-writings

ex-military amputee!Bucky x fem!Reader

Summary: Needing an escape from the loud and busy city life, Bucky comes to stay with you on your little farm. He didn’t expect you, a hardworking and beautiful woman with struggles of your own, to take his breath away and make life a little less dreary.

{personal comment: This is one of a kind and it got stuck in my head immediately. The way Bucky heals is beautifully written and I love how the animals of the farm got included}

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For the love of the game @pellucid-constellations ♤

College Athlete!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 

{personal comment: I love the changes Bucky goes through and the way all the characters are portrayed. This story never fails to give me butterflies every time I come back to it}

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Undisclosed @pellucid-constellations ♤

Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either. 

{personal comment: The story is so creative and I got hooked on the few hints of the reader's backstory in the first parts and how it got revealed. Overall, it was a great mix of angst, fluff and Bucky in love}

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Scars @chickenfics

Bucky x reader Western AU

Summary: Running from a past that haunts you and a future that is unsure, the last thing you wanted was to take up with a stranger. Strangers, you'd learned, are almost always more trouble than they're worth. But when dangers from the life you're trying to leave behind get too close for comfort, drastic times call for drastic measures, and the stranger you'd once feared becomes the only person you can trust -- and perhaps the only person you'd call your friend. Now you both just have to make it out alive...

{personal comment: I'm a sucker for Western AU's and this piece of art satisfied me to no end. I love how naturally a connection bloomed between the two and the way they learned about each other. I would give so much for being able to read this for the first time again}

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A World of Our Own @shreddedparchment ♤

Bucky x Reader Castaway AU

Summary: You and a man named Bucky crash land on a deserted island. Can the two of you come together and make it until rescue comes? After you begin to fall for the mysterious Bucky Barnes, will you even want to be rescued?

{personal comment: I was astounded with the idea of this story and the creativity that came with it. It was lovely to read how Bucky and the reader grew closer over time and how they dealt with getting rescued and having to adjust to a 'normal' life on mainland again}

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Just One Kiss @sarahwroteathing

40s!Bucky x 40s!Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. How long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss?

{personal comment: This is such a lovely series. Bucky is a sweetheart and those letters were giving me all the feels. I loved all the characters and how they are written}

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Awake My Soul [78k] @foreverindreamlandd

Bucky x reader

Summary: It's been five years since zombies first started walking the Earth, destroying anything and everything in their wake. Now, in this apocalyptic world, fighting for survival comes as naturally as breathing. The one thing you've learned ever since they arrived, though, is that the living can be so much more dangerous than the undead. When you stumble across two young, scared boys lost in the woods and being chased by walkers, you go against your better judgment and help them to safety. Little did you know that helping them would lead you to Bucky - an angry, grumpy, distrusting member of the camp Shield. Bucky has zero interest in having you enter his life. He's been hurt before and lost too many people to risk experiencing that kind of pain again, and he knows that there are secrets you aren't telling the group. Yet, when push comes to shove, and you're put at risk, he'll stop at nothing to keep you safe.

{personal comment: The storyline of this series is so creative and I was hooked since the beginning. So much thought went into this and the background of the characters, and I'm beyond grateful I got to read this lovely piece of art}

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Burn The Witch @dreamwritesimagines ♤

Bucky x reader

Summary: The mission was simple; get closer to the Winter Soldier and start a relationship with him to get the necessary information for your superiors to use.

Everyone told you not to get your feelings involved. 

You should have listened.

{personal comment: I loved reading about how Bucky interacts with the two different personalities the reader portrays without knowing it’s the same person and how she switches between those two. The other characters are great as well and I really enjoy your writing style here]

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The Bienville @indyluckycharlie ♤

Modern!Bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky is the young CEO of his family’s publishing house. A year into the role and working his ass off, he’s finally taking a much needed vacation (upon the advice of his well-meaning family and friends).

Solo and feeling a little lost, Bucky finds himself getting a little attached to the front desk receptionist, a local who grew up on the islands and dreams of bigger things.

{personal comment: I've read this a few times already and will definitely do it again. I loved how Bucky relaxed more and turned so charming, and how they built that connection so naturally. I felt everything I read and it was beautiful}

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Harmless @shurisneakers

Bucky x Villan!Reader

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with.

{personal comment: I had so much fun while reading this and it’s so damn creative. It was lovely to read how they grew closer over time and the many things they did for each other]

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Heart to a Gunfight [38.3k] @lailannajacobs

Modern!Bucky x reader

Summary: You didn’t want to help Bucky Barnes make it through the party by pretending to be his fake girlfriend, after all, you had just met him. You also didn’t plan on the charade lasting as long as it did. 

{personal comment: This is so lovely and I found myself grinning so much while reading this. But I also enjoyed the little angst in there and how they ended up together}

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Leave This Town @avengerofyourheart ♤

Mechanic!Bucky x reader

Summary: Your dreams of kissing your small town life goodbye are about to come true when an unexpected detour leaves you stranded. Meeting the handsome local mechanic has you rethinking your plans. Perhaps happiness is less about where you’re headed and more about the people you meet along the way.

{personal comment: I'm a sucker for Mechanic!Bucky and I really love this creative piece of art}

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Vacant Mirrors @whirlybirbs

Bucky x reader

Summary: Shit’s been rough. Shit was rough even before the blip. Dr. Hart shares an office with dr. Raynor, and you share a waiting room with Bucky Barnes.

{personal comment: I enjoyed this so much and went through so many emotions while reading it, feeling everything so vividly. This includs all I need of Bucky Barnes and I'm in love}

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The Two of Us [39.7k] @bucky-bucket-barnes ♤

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky go to investigate the phenomenon happening in Westview, New Jersey. While attempting to understand the issue, you yourselves are sucked into Wanda's world of pretend. Now, you believe yourselves to be the happily married Mr. and Mrs. Barnes; in real life, you are most definitely not a happy pair. It is up to you and Bucky to piece together what's happening while dealing with one another inside the hex.

{personal comment: We all love a good enemies to lovers and this was really exciting to read. It got me hooked so fast and I loved it till the end}

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Everything Backwards [35.2k] @buckybabybaby

Bucky x reader

Summary: When you make-out with a ‘James’ on a night out, you don’t expect to see him again, so imagine your surprise the next day when it turns out he’ll be your new sort-of-flat-mate. As Nanny for Peggy & Steve’s three children, you’ve hit the jackpot, but now the guy across the corridor is threatening to ruin it. 

{personal comment: I really loved how Bucky softened and the way they formed a connection. The interactions with the kids are lovely, I enjoyed this so much}

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Sky full of Song [65k] @wkemeup ♤

Pirate!Bucky x Pirate/Siren!Reader

Summary: Despite the bitter resentment of the crew, you found a home on Captain Barnes’ ship; on the ocean where you belonged, at the side of a captain you swore loyalty and heart to. But when course is plotted for a legendary island, the secret that has kept you alive for years is threatened to be revealed.

{personal comment: This series is amazing and the storyline has such a nice flow to it, that had me hooked so bad. Bucky's so respectful and protective and I read this so many times already, it might actually be sad. But I'm in love with this art}

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365 Days @abovethesmokestacks

Bucky x reader soulmate AU

Summary: "You all know how it is, the one constant in this hellish life: You have a soulmate. No idea who it is, no clues whatsoever, only 25 years to find them. In 364 days, my time’s up. It sounds like a lot, but so does 25 years, and look where that got me. So, for better or for worse, I’ll try. I’ve got twelve months to find whoever my soul is knit together with."

{personal comment: I didn’t think I'd be into solemate au's but this was really lovely. The small glimpses into the life of Bucky in between really piqued my interest}

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All Good Things @sagechanoafterdark

Ghost!Bucky x witch!Reader

Summary: After only three days of dealing with the annoying specter haunting you, you break the rules and accidently give a ghost a body. So what do you do when you find out the man you’re now sharing your your apartment with isn’t really a ghost and that haunted touch is a little warmer than you realized?

{personal comment: The concept of this story is so interesting and captivated me instantly. I had fun reading this and went through a lot of emotions throughout}

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Wild horses [22k] @whitewolfbumble

Biker!Bucky x reader

Summary: Kicked out of school and exiling yourself in a town time forgot, one little incident lands the sights of the locally infamous Avengers biker gang square on you. Wild horses run faster and there was no chance to turn back now. 

{personal comment: I'm smitten with this story, it’s so nice and I found myself relate to the reader so lany aspects. It’s some lovely work}

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The Thrill of the Hunt [12k] @rookthorne ♤

Scare Actor!Bucky x reader

Summary: Ancient game of cat and mouse, a fight for survival between a predator and their prey, wasn’t a new phenomenon — it had been practised for centuries and it was an art that very, very few perfected. For years you had chased the craving to find someone that had mastered the art of the hunt, and for Halloween, you had gone all out and visited a haven unlike any other.

It was there that you found your match. 

Cloaked in nothing but black and shrouded in a sense of lethality, you would have to run from this shadow in an adrenaline fuel haze unlike any other. A chase for the ages, the very one you desired. 

And if he caught you, your world would end as you knew it.

{personal comment: This is so thrilling and was really exciting to read. The switches between him as Bucky and then his character had me reeling}

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Want one? @hootyhoobuckaroo

Demon!Bucky x reader

Summary: The reader summons a demon by accidentally drawing an occult symbol in sandwich condiments. The demon, a strange yet oddly charming being by the name of Buchanan, begins to frequent her little apartment. It’s only a matter of time until she can make her way past his guarded exterior.

{personal comment: The story had an interesting concept, and I really liked it, it’s endearing}

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Drifting @real-jane

Bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky saves the life of a woman when she's buried in an avalanche. Faced with the possibility that his cover might be blown, Bucky must keep the woman alive, and try to keep her from finding out who he is... or what he's done.

How long can he hide?

{personal comment: I don’t read a lot of fics written in the third person but this did me in and I had to try. Couldn't stop, the writing style is captivating and I was really invested}

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A dish served cold @artficlly

Outlaw!Bucky x reader

Summary: After the murder of your pa, you go on a journey to find justice. Fate brings you to Crimson Junction for a reason, and that reason is Bucky Barnes. 

{personal comment: This series got me so invested. I'm loving the captor/captive energy and although I do feel bad for Bucky, I am so grateful the reader doesn’t instantly fall in love with him and forget about the reason she tracked him down for in the first place. I got so excited when they talked about what happened and I'm thrilled to find out that there is going to be a sequel}

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Salt the earth @mallowswriting

Childhoodbestfriend!Bucky x reader (best friends to enemies to allies to lovers/Road trip AU)

Summary: Brock Rumlow is a slick, charming, wise-cracking businessman that you are lucky to have a claim to. Brock Rumlow is your fiance. brock rumlow is going to suffocate you. 

Brock Rumlow is going to be surprised when you disappear, nothing left behind but a note. But once you’ve gone through with steps 1-4 of your 5 step escape plan, you find out that the ‘friend’ nat told you to meet - the ‘friend’ who is going to drive you across the country to the utopia of safety that is new york - just had to be Bucky fucking Barnes. 

“If you’re so annoyed with the music, you can drive.” 

“You’d never let me drive this car.”

“Exactly. Now shut up.” 

{personal comment: Read all this in one go, just couldn't help myself. The way that connection forms again all throughout the bickering and heartfelt conversations and the way the backstory of them both is introduced is so captivating. This was a nice read}

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Something more @tellmealovestory ♤

bestfriend!Bucky x reader

Summary: After a bad breakup you ask your best friend to take your virginity. It’s just friends with benefits. What could possibly go wrong? Modern AU

{personal comment: Bucky is such a sweetheart, so soft and considerate, I'm so smitten and I really enjoyed the way the sexy times are written}

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That Summer @tellmealovestory ♤

Biker!Bucky x reader

Summary: You’ve spent every summer since you were a child in the idyllic beach town that you call home three months out of the year. This summer should be no different except for the addition of Bucky Barnes. Sparks fly upon first meeting, but it’s only a summer fling, right? Modern AU. 

{personal comment: This made me feel so warm, it’s beautiful. I love this relationship and how it’s portrayed}

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It’s a Deal @justreadingfics ♤

boytoy!Bucky x reader

Summary: You’re out of a relationship of 10 years and you’re just in desperate need to get laid, no strings attached, no romance, no complications. You dear friend Natasha feels like she’s going to regret this later, but she might have the perfect guy to fulfill your needs.  

{personal comment: I love fuckboy!Bucky falling in love and this was just what I needed}

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Relationship tutor @samingtonwilson ♤

College!Bucky x College!Reader

Summary: Bucky, a relationship novice, asks for your help in dating your friend. Unable to say no to him, you agree despite everyone and everything telling you not to.  

{personal comment: Another beautifully written series. I love the many friendships, especially the little interactions with Sam. And Bucky's a lovesick idiot, and I find myself craving that a lot, so that was perfect}

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No such thing @sanguineterrain

College!Bucky x College!Journalist!Reader

Summary: You’ve been assigned to write a column for your school paper on the team’s spectacular running back. You don’t care very much for your university’s football team; you just can’t understand the hype, okay? Turns out your distaste for football bigheads was exactly on point: James Barnes is insufferable.

{personal comment: Sassy reader here and I loved it. Their bickering is everything and I enjoyed how they grew a friendship to realizing there is more}

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Breaking the Rules @redgillan

Modern!Bucky x reader

Summary: You hate James Barnes with a burning passion and the feeling is entirely mutual. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, you are tricked into attending his sister’s wedding as his girlfriend. Stuck with a bunch of strangers, you come up with a set of rules that are not going to last long.

{personal comment: I enjoyed this so much. It’s incedibly relatable, real and it’s enemies to lovers, so that’s a huge bonus in the first place. Bucky's backstory touched me and I love how she needed some time to process everything and not just jump at the chance to be with him}

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[riding-the-sunset-bird]

I'm still riding a high from Baxter Week last month so I just wanted to gush about how much I adore Baxter and his DLC! No specific rhyme or reason, but it is a nice break from my usual dives into the code!

Also, I won't be saying anything negative about Cove nor Derek; I don't need nor want to do that. I'll be comparing them to Baxter, but only for contrast/showing the skillfully written differences between them (example: Cove does [x] and Baxter does [y] to account for multiple player preferences).

(might go without saying, but there will be spoilers for basically his entire DLC)

The Background

I actually had no interest in Baxter when my MC first met him in the game. He was fine, I was neutral, but what it came down to was that I was one of Those People who just wanted time with Cove and excluded others (if it's not obvious, I always got a cold Cove unless I used the Cove Creator).

That all changed, funnily enough, during the Cove Wedding DLC. On a whim, I agreed to let Baxter give my MC dance lessons and prodded him on his disappearance after Step 3. Getting a hint of Baxter's underlying problems piqued my interest and I'd had the Baxter DLC downloaded before I even hit the reception!

After the Cove Wedding DLC was over, I rolled back to a save right before Soiree and got to romancing.

Zero regrets.

The Setup

As a character, Baxter is so beautifully designed as both a contrast to Cove and someone to fill out the gaps that Cove and Derek leave. He also completes the "comfort level" of love interests that I had in my head, where the MC can be whatever they want but each guy seems to have a particular comfort level themselves (Cove being Nervous, Derek being more Relaxed, and Baxter being Direct).

When if comes to their actual engagement through the family, Baxter has only brief mentions of his parents, Cove's story is partly connected to his parents whilst still giving focus to one-on-one time, and Derek's family is front-and-center to his conflict. It's all about how much time a player wants to invest in the character versus the time they want to spend with others.

Likewise, Baxter's route features a relationship that ends and gets back together again, Cove's route is a relationship where he and the MC always live close to each other, and Derek's route is a long-distance relationship past Step 2 and before Step 4.

Baxter's undeniably a controversial character, I imagine due to possibly being based on the "playboy" type, which tends to be someone who flirts with anyone they find attractive whether the recipient likes it or not, won't take "no" for an answer, and lies to their dates that they're serious about them when they actually don't care for them at all.

The game cleverly subverts this right out of the gate when Baxter first meets Cove and the MC. Baxter does find the two attractive and initially flirts with the both of them (a great start to confirming that he's pan), but backs off and apologizes the moment he notices that Cove is uncomfortable. He adds as well that he wouldn't mind having a summer fling, but that it's not his core reason for wanting to get to know and spend time with them.

So already, the player is made aware that he's forward but considerate, takes Cove's discomfort more seriously than even the usual residents of Sunset Bird (who enjoy teasing him into embarrassment), and has non-serious flings with a priority on simply having fun connections over the course of his time with them.

He, like Cove, will only propose a relationship with the MC in Step 3 if the MC expresses interest first (the only difference being that the MC expresses the interest in Cove to "the game" while talking to Lee, whereas the MC expresses interest in Baxter by talking to Baxter directly).

This gives the MC a powerful opportunity, as Baxter is a character that the player has the most options in interacting with. He begins as a total stranger, similar to Cove, and the player can decide whether he stays that way or becomes more than that. Even down to the optional moments he appears in, the MC only has to interact with him in Hang and Late Shift, both of which lets them avoid further interaction by going home early and rejecting his invitation to his house/telling him not to come to their workplace respectively. The only mandatory instances of seeing him are the Step 3 intro, a brief goodbye in the ending, Hang, and the very beginning of Late Shift.

Whether it be strangers, friends, friends that fell in love after they met again, a friendship or fling that started well and ended horribly, a fling that turned into genuine feelings in the end, or two people that love each other all the way through, Baxter's route can do it all. In Step 4 as well, the MC can choose to be calm, professional, upset, or angry about seeing Baxter again, which all lead to different conversations/narration with him, and the end of Step 3 makes him the only love interest where there can be a technical "break up."

This is also a rare occasion where the MC, due to Cove not being a fan of Baxter, can form a relationship outside of their normal range. Baxter doesn't live in Sunset Bird and isn't connected to anyone the MC knows - neither Cove's nor the MC's friends and family - at the time of meeting him, fitting the narrative of the MC starting to look at things beyond their little neighborhood and even the people they're close with. It can be further emphasized in Soiree where the MC starts to gain a bit of independence and can end up dancing with a younger Baxter, foreshadowing that little peek into the wider world from a mysterious stranger who's there and then gone.

Something else that's fascinating is that Baxter, due to him leaving at the end of Step 3 and meeting the MC again during Step 4, is the only love interest where players see virtually all of the MC's interactions with him. It does leave out the gaps that Cove and Derek have that can be neatly filled with headcanons, but that ultimately depends on what the player prefers. Point being is that the MC's experiences are the player's experiences when it comes to Baxter: whatever time they spend with him, the player also spends with him.

So already, the setup for Baxter and his route are really strong for me, but the content of his DLC isn't limited to just him.

The Content

Baxter's DLC introduces a total of two new characters and extra content for Terry and Miranda, both of which were absolutely welcomed by me. I was hyper-focused on Cove in the base game, but the Baxter DLC made me appreciate the other characters more.

Even the moms, who already got plenty of screen time, are shown to be rather nosy and gossip-y in Sightseeing (something not showcased overly until then), which ends up being the perfect encouragement towards the MC learning more about Baxter. Then, if the MC meets the requirements and agrees to Baxter's fling, Noelani in particular is stunned into silence. If the MC was upset with Baxter over what happened, then both moms will show a rare coldness to him as well.

These are all things one would miss out on with other interests, due to how the whirlwind relationship and drama in Baxter's route are designed.

Then there's Terry, who becomes Baxter's friend more directly in the DLC whether Baxter is convinced of that or not, and is given more to do in every best way. Baxter's version of Hang allows for more focus on Terry's relationship with Miranda, partly with more hints towards his crush on her but also seeing Terry interact with someone who's "like him." Cove and Miranda are described as "shy" and the MC can be equally as much, allowing for new facets of Terry's character to come through by Baxter's being there.

Even after Baxter goes no contact and Step 4 makes the shift to focus on his relationship with the MC, Terry's friendship with him isn't forgotten: Baxter laments that Terry isn't calling him by his affectionate nickname for him anymore.

Terry getting attention from being Baxter's friend doesn't exclude Miranda from getting any either; far from it. If anything, she gets more than Terry, both with an expansion on her family in the form of her brother (and eventual brother-in-law) plus a moment dedicated to giving her a birthday party. As if that weren't enough, she gets a mini-plot in Step 4 concerning her relationship with Terry and her role in his life.

Seeing more of Terry and Miranda was in every way a case of "thing I didn't know I needed until I had it." Maybe it was the Cove tunnel vision that persisted for so long, but when I first got to re-experience Terry and Miranda in Baxter's version of Hang, it was great and I was so happy any time they were on-screen.

They aren't given extra time just for the sake of it either; they're expertly woven into the overarching story of Step 3 and the themes of Step 4.

Step 3 centers on adulthood with the MC and their friends growing up and having to face the fear of growing apart. The step already does a good job at keeping that a focus, but Planning expands on it in a way that feels almost criminal not to have in the base game. The already high stakes feel even higher when put up against the last birthday party they'll be able to plan before everyone goes off on their own.

Then, Step 4 balances Terry putting forth so much effort for Miranda with her worrying that she's not doing enough for him. She doesn't need to worry, obviously (Terry loves her for every reason), but with Step 4 focusing so much on relationships, self-reflection, and trying to make up for past mistakes (both real and perceived), it's just a cherry on top of an already fantastic story.

Meanwhile, Jude and Scott, despite only appearing for Step 4, are easily some of my favorite characters in the game. They're adorable, they can be sweet with not just Miranda but the MC too (the player has the option for the MC to see them like honorary family/big brothers), and the way the groom's cake ultimately ties into helping bring Baxter and the MC closer again while serving as a callback to Planning is perfection. One may think little of Miranda's initial mention of them (probably assuming that it's just a little bit of character introduction to show that she has family who has things going on), but it all comes together in the end.

The DLC additionally has a potential bonus (depending on player preference) in that it is benefited by most other DLCs. The other DLCs are not required to enjoy it, but they add that little bit of extra flavor.

The Step 2 DLC adds Birthday and Soiree. Birthday is Miranda's birthday party when she's fourteen and before she officially becomes the MC's friend, meaning you get the development of seeing the difference in the MC's and Cove's investment in her party then versus now, as well as how her taste in parties has grown. Soiree allows the MC to possibly meet Baxter earlier than Step 3 and add to the "fate"/"destiny" angle if the player so desires.

The Step 3 DLC obviously allows for more Baxter in general with Boating and Late Shift, the former showing a much needed reaction from Lee if the MC is dating him at the time. It's also a good "starter DLC" for people who aren't sure about Baxter, allowing them to choose to interact with him if they want to get to know him more (as I mentioned before).

Derek's DLC lets the player meet Baxter in a different way during Soiree, something that can be brought back up with Derek in Step 3 and then again in Step 4 (to which he'll joke about the MC's meetings with Baxter in five year increments).

Even Cove's Wedding DLC can have advantage, bringing a soft conclusion to Baxter's story for those who don't want to play Baxter's Step 4 but still care for him, and/or something more dramatic following how he ends off Step 3 with the MC.

So one doesn't just get Baxter content; there's quality content from others and it can be further added to with other DLCs.

Not that the Baxter content isn't worth it all by itself either because I adore this man.

The Man

I'm a simple woman. Give me an intelligent man with simultaneously zero braincells and I am in.

I don't even like "playboy" type characters normally, but Baxter is actually charming and tries to make things clear to the MC from the beginning. He falters during the Step 3 ending but not because he was trying to keep it a secret; he genuinely didn't expect the MC to try to press him and deemed himself unworthy of their company.

I'd seen more than enough of rich boy plots where the rich boy is a perfect do-no-wrong type and it's everyone else's problem that they don't like him. Baxter, however, is a flawed character who not everyone is going to like (which is absolutely 100% fine and valid) and him being rich is not just something that influenced his self-esteem but also what he ultimately gives up despite having relied on that financial safety net for his whole life, showing a deeper sense of awareness as he got older.

I don't normally like fate/destiny stories either, as they often feel as though they're taking agency from one or both characters involved (in terms of forcing them to love/be in a relationship with each other), but Baxter's route isn't like that. It's the player's choice to have that dance in Soiree (which they can just as easily turn down), their choice to form a closer relationship with Baxter outside of the disinterested Cove, and their choice to choose Baxter's Step 4 when they have already one guaranteed "safe" option in Cove's Step 4 and a potential other "safe" choice in Derek's Step 4 if they have Derek's DLC.

The player is the fate, which coincidentally went into my first playthrough, as my MC was initially designed for Cove yet ended up being perfect for Baxter.

Baxter is so absolutely delightful and absolutely stupid at the same time. From his openness to be questioned by the MC followed by this assumption that he's like a stranger to them (meanwhile the MC and Cove being best friends/crushes right out of the gate if the player so chooses), to him talking about the play he and the MC go to while not seeing the obvious parallel to his own issues, to openly admitting that he doesn't want to leave the MC while making the decision himself to go no contact.

He unconvincingly uses the cupcakes as an excuse to not get more intimate with MC, he wants so badly to spend time with the MC that he's willing to risk letting them see him in his useless morning state (and is surprised when it goes wrong, at least in his mind), and tries to convince himself to not stay attached to the MC during Step 4 despite being unable to help constantly reminiscing on their time together.

At his core, he's a funny, charismatic sweetheart who wants to be loved, to be touched, to have someone in his life (even just a friend) that he can make happy, but his upbringing and deep-seeded insecurities make him cynical to the idea of being in a genuine relationship with someone. This causes him to constantly sabotage himself before he can make any progress. It's why he can prefer flings: he can use his money to make a passionate, pleasant time with his temporary partner, but not so long that he feels they'll find something disappointing in him.

Low-risk, high-reward.

This, of course, ultimately backfires by the end of Step 3, and it's perfectly structured to set him up for Step 4. The brilliant foreshadowing of him being skilled with planning events in a pinch, to Jude and Scott's long-distance relationship and Baxter claiming that they won't stay together, to Baxter insisting that it's unlikely for he and the MC to meet again (made funnier if they'd already met again before, if the MC saw him in Soiree), then Step 4 hitting where he's not only a wedding planner planning Jude and Scott's wedding, but accidentally/unconsciously putting himself into situations where he's "stuck" with the MC.

That starting instant where Baxter reacts to the MC in the restaurant, initially shocked and then having to bring himself back into a professional persona, apologizing for his immature self but sticking to only focusing on the wedding?

Not just a wonderfully-written hint to the player as to what they're in for, but very much a "I'm not stuck in here with you, you're stuck in here with me," situation. It's all about making Baxter as uncomfortable as possible so he can reflect, flying in the face of his thought that he could control everything and project what he thought about himself onto others. He can give advice to other people, but refuses to give the same to himself because he held himself to an impossible standard.

Once he finally figures that out, he's feels extremely guilty and apologetic towards the MC and everyone else. Him unloading all of his emotional baggage and work to do better is so satisfying after seeing it affect him in key moments like Drinks, Planning, the Step 3 ending, and finally Step 4. Underneath the facade he (weakly) attempts to put up for himself is a teasing gentleman who hates mornings, wants to see everyone around him be happy, and feels blessed just to simply have a relationship with the MC (real or temporary).

This isn't even talking about Baxter's perspective from a meta standpoint, adding layers on top of what's already there in the canon and adding even further when considering Baxter's appearance in the sidequel Our Life: Now & Forever.

The MC can learn in Sightseeing that Baxter had a crush on a kid who was doing ballet lessons while he did ballroom. Those who know anything about Now & Forever know that this is kid is Qiu, who's one of the two potential love interests there. Naturally, Baxter wouldn't have had a chance with them, as the only person Qiu can possibly fall for is the Now & Forever MC.

Baxter confesses in Step 4 that he's naturally drawn to the people who are "wanted by everyone else," which translates to Qiu (who is widely popular during Now & Forever's Step 1) and the MC (who is liked by most characters in the game and automatically crushed on by at least Derek). In the Cove Wedding DLC specifically, he adds that he is simply someone whereas Cove is the one.

Because here's the thing: in the eyes of the base game, he's not wrong. Cove is the game's focus, taking an active role in every step and being the first that the MC meets out of the potential love interests. He's the only love interest in the base game and his Step 4 is not just free, but the default.

Meanwhile, Baxter is just someone. He's a person who shows up in Sunset Bird for a single step - only showing up thrice - and then is entirely gone without his own Step 4. His DLC costs more than any of Cove's Step DLCs and the player already knows Cove, already has spent two steps with him, thus has far less incentive to get Baxter's DLC over Cove's own Step DLCs.

Then, despite Baxter appearing once in Cove's Step 2 DLC and twice in Cove's Step 3 DLC, most players won't experience the former (either due to focusing on Cove or not wanting to dance) and Baxter can be largely excluded in the latter if he happened to leave a bad first impression on the player.

And let's take it a step further. While Derek, like Baxter, doesn't have a Wedding DLC like Cove does, Derek can get into a marriage pact with the MC as early as Step 2, he can be dating the MC throughout nearly all of his Step 4, and the MC can agree to them moving in together before the ending.

Baxter has none of that. His DLC's story is steeped in drama and the earliest the MC can properly get together with him is after the wedding. There's no chance at a proposal (such as what can happen with Cove's Step 4, where they MC can date and then propose within an equally short timespan), no opportunity to move in with him, nothing.

He takes time, work, and actual money to get into a relationship with, whether platonic or romantic. It's a level of investment that not everyone would be willing to put in for someone, especially when only one Step 4 can be chosen out of the whole bunch.

Baxter's insecurities come from a very real place. His parents treated him like a child, all while expecting him to behave like someone their age, and they deliberately picked a town for him to go to that was near the ocean he feared (where it was unlikely for there to be people his age around) to keep him in check. In his mind, he's "broken" and incapable of being with anyone long-term.

Furthering that, there's a joke he makes about "being too late" if the MC and Cove are in a relationship by the time he appears, back when he wouldn't have considered himself a worthy partner anyway (also a bit of out-of-universe humor over how the MC couldn't get together with him whether they wanted to or not, due to being unable to break up with Cove). Despite that, he's pleased as punch to see the MC dating/married to Cove and hopes the best for them regardless of his potential attraction.

Baxter puts forth so much effort to try and make the MC's last summer in Sunset Bird memorable with the thought that he won't be seeing them ever again. The potential relationship he can have with them is the most stable he's ever had and it scares him when they make him feel wanted and important. All the while, he's convinced that the MC's friends and family are "better" than him and he'll only bore the MC if he remains in contact with them.

With his DLC, the MC - the player - get to prove him wrong: an MC who is liked by everyone and loved by up to three different interests, but end up choosing him in the end. Cove and Derek are "easy" and the MC has undoubtedly spent more time with them in comparison to Baxter - who would feel that either guy could make the MC happier than he could - but they have the chance to show that he is the one that makes them happy.

Baxter is so absolutely amazed to be in a relationship with the MC that he willingly takes in all the shocked reactions and potential backlash from everyone else due to his five years of going no contact. He's regretful when he finds himself back in old habits and eager not just to message the MC multiple times per day after they return home, but also to take time off to go visit them after his Step 4 is over.

I think that makes for an incredibly special experience: to have someone who comes last out of the three possibilities, doubts his true potential, and eventually realizes how misguided he is. It's not about who got the most time with the MC, or who got "dibs" on meeting them first, or what can be accomplished the quickest in their time with them.

It's about the MC forming a bond with someone, picking him despite the difficulties/limitations because they love him that much, the work he's willing to put into it in return, and finally the happiness that comes out of it.

For those reasons and even more, the Baxter DLC is by far my favorite.

[silenzahra]

❤️ Where is my brother? 💚

⚠ BROTHERSHIP SPOILERS ⚠

This is basically a narration of the intro scene of the game, so as you can imagine, this story is spoilery for those who haven't started playing the game yet. Beware! ⚠

This might be a simple story, but the intro scene really spoke to me. Ever since I saw the first trailers, and especially, after seeing the looks the brothers exchange when Luigi saves Mario, I knew that I had to write something related to it. Just, those expressions resonated deep within.

So... here's the result! As a way to celebrate that Brothership came out a week ago today, I thought it'd be the best moment to post it. Since there are spoilers here, I won't be tagging anyone, but I sincerely hope whoever reads this story will enjoy it 🥰 And of course, likes, kudos, comments and reblogs are always more than welcome! 💖

As always, feel free to choose between reading this fic on AO3 or continue reading under the cut. Whatever you choose: get ready for some brotherly love coming your way! ❤️💚

(Needless to say but just in case: please do NOT tag as ship 🙅‍♀️)

❤️ Where is my brother? 💚

“Luigi?”

Mario walks through the green island where he’s ended up searching for his brother. Everywhere he looks he only sees trees, bushes, grass and more and more vegetation, and beyond, the crystalline blue sea, but no trace of Luigi.

Except, of course, for the visions.

It's not the first time Mario has seen his twin before him even though Luigi isn’t physically standing next to him, but it's been so long since the last time that Mario has been caught completely off guard. At first, in fact, he broke into a run towards him, convinced that Luigi had found him, and stopped dead in his tracks in confusion the second his brother vanished in front of his eyes.

When he heard him trying to push a rock behind him, Mario turned around, full of happiness and relief, and immediately set out to help him... only for Luigi to disappear again the instant Mario began to push too. The feeling of joy that had flooded him at seeing his twin deflated like a balloon that had just been stuck with a pin. Crestfallen, he could do nothing but repeat Luigi’s name, anguished at not being able to find him.

But then he heard his sibling once more.

This time, the voice came from the top of an embankment that Mario hurried to climb in a few jumps. There he found him again: standing at the beginning of a dirt road, Luigi was jumping and waving to him incessantly, excitement shining on his face.

And it was then that Mario understood.

These were not mere visions... but their brotherly connection guiding him to his twin.

After all, the bond they share since birth has always been special, intense, profound. It’s a bond that knows no bounds, that goes beyond what the mind can comprehend, that is not of this world.

It’s a bond that binds the hearts of both brothers with an unbreakable thread, stronger than any rock and more solid than the very ground their feet walk on. A bond that lets them know that the other is safe and well.

A bond that, since their childhood, guides their steps towards each other so that they can be together again as soon as possible.

After all, they’re not used to being apart for long.

So, at last having understood, Mario headed towards the path that Luigi indicated, ready to travel the distance between them.

His little brother, just as he expected, disappeared shortly before he reached him, but Mario didn't falter this time. He knew, he knows, that their twin sense was guiding him towards Luigi, and that, at the end of the road, there he’ll be at last: alive, real and solid.

On all those occasions, Luigi guided him by calling his name. Now, as he walks along the path that his brother showed him, Mario realizes that his heart is filled with relief as he remembers that Luigi's voice has sounded sing-songy every time, amused even, almost as if he were playing hide-and-seek with him. Maybe that's a good sign...

... Or maybe he's clutching at straws.

After all, Mario knows his brother too well to know that Luigi would never try to make a game out of a situation like this, in which, once again, they’ve been separated by accident and in strange circumstances. Surely, his brotherly sense is only trying to reassure him, as Mario, in fact, imagines, with a shudder that takes away all traces of ease from his inner self, that his twin must be terrified, anxious and desperate to find him.

Very similar to how Mario himself is feeling at the moment.

So he continues to look for Luigi and call him, on the lookout for any sign that might indicate the whereabouts of his little brother.

But, for the moment, nothing.

As he walks, Mario rubs his arm regretfully. Guilt pricks his soul and his heart shrinks in his chest. Why didn't he hold him tighter? Why did he have to let go... again? It's not the first time his sibling’s hand has slipped through his fingers and Luigi has ended up somewhere out of Mario’s reach. He should have learned his lesson by now.

He should have learned to be a better big brother by now.

Mario grits his teeth and keeps moving forward. He may have made the same mistake again, but he’s more than determined to make amends. The resolution to find Luigi takes up his heart completely and relegates guilt to a corner of his heart, though it doesn't disappear entirely, not by a long shot. They may both be grown men now, but Mario can never shake the feeling that Luigi and his well-being are his responsibility. He will always support his brother in whatever decisions he makes about how to live his life, and of course, he has unwavering faith in Luigi and his skills, but Mario, at the very least, will always see to it that his sibling is well, safe and sound, and will do everything in his power to contribute to his happiness. Always.

But, for that, first he has to find him.

It is then that Mario realizes that he hasn't seen any new sight of his brother for a while nor heard his voice calling him again, but that won't stop him.

Nothing could stop him from doing whatever possible to reunite with Luigi.

Looking around again, Mario notices that he’s reached an area of the island that leads to the ocean. And off in the distance, sailing across the mighty sea that surrounds him, he sees a huge ship, more like a floating island, which, however, also appears to be covered with vegetation. A huge tree stands out in its center, its leafy crown serving as a sail, and the figurehead appears to be a thick tree branch. Mario stares at it in the distance, amazed and astonished.

But then he hears something that startles him.

A scream.

A scream that sounds very similar... to his name.

That voice...

In a hurry, Mario runs to the very edge of the island where he is, wanting to listen better in case the sound comes again.

And indeed...

“MARIO!”

Mario gasps, his heart fluttering in his chest.

“Luigi!”

Of course! If he hasn't been able to find Luigi yet, it's simply because they've ended up in different places. Again.

But that's about to change.

His twin sense has guided him there. He’s heard Luigi again, and this time he sounded scared, terrified. Mario's most primal instincts, those that push him to always protect his sibling from all evil, have been activated and run through the plumber's body from top to bottom, filling him with adrenaline and urging him to do something, to help Luigi in any way he can. What if he's in trouble? What if he's been kidnapped? He couldn't bear the thought of his little brother being captured once again, and because of him too. Just like last time.

No, no way. He has to do something.

Without hesitation and with his twin’s desperate voice echoing in his ears, Mario steps back. For a few seconds, he just stares at the huge ship that continues to advance before his eyes, his brow furrowed, his fists clenched. Soon it will be nearby, and the time will come to bridge the distance between the two with a wide leap. He must time it very well and be very fast, for the ship is moving swiftly.

Showing a patience that he’s only capable of when it comes to Luigi, Mario waits. He doesn't lose sight of the ship for a second and counts down mentally to determine the moment when he should run. Almost there, he says to himself. It's not long now.

Soon he’ll be able to see Luigi again, and he’ll fight against all odds to help him.

Mario takes a deep breath and positions himself on the ground. The ship is almost within reach. It's only a matter of seconds before it’s close enough.

So, without a second thought, Mario starts to run.

He does so with all his might, getting closer and closer to the gap that separates him from the island ship. The determination to aid his brother, to make sure he’s safe, governs his movements and makes his heart beat faster in his chest.

After all, Luigi sounded scared.

He needs him.

He needs his big brother in the same way Mario needs his little brother.

Mario reaches the point where the island he is on ends and leaps.

His jump is high and forms an arc in the air, as always. He’s more than used to making jumps like this, both in his many solo adventures and in those in which his beloved brother has accompanied him.

The ship is nearing. Mario heads for it at full speed in the air and stretches out an arm to cling to the edge as soon as he reaches it...

But then he notices two things.

The first is that, being a ship, it has continued to move. It’s no longer so close to the island from which Mario leapt seconds before.

The second is that, therefore, his jump is not as high as he expected it to be.

He hasn't timed it right.

He's not going to make it.

He's going to fall into the sea and the force and speed of the ship will finish him off.

And he’ll never have the chance to meet Luigi again.

Mario panics. As his body begins to fall, as he watches before his terrified eyes how the ship slips from his grasp, he can only think that he cannot die without first making sure that Luigi is all right. He hasn't had a chance to see him since they fell through that portal, he doesn't know if his twin is okay. That was undoubtedly a cry for help. Luigi is in danger! How can Mario help him if he falls to his death?

“NO!”

Mario screams. It's not a cry of terror at his own impending death, but of frustration and rage. He asks only to be able to see Luigi one last time, to be certain that he’s all right, that he’s safe and sound, and then he’ll be able to move on.

He will accept his end with open arms if only he can know that Luigi is fine and well.

But, above him, Mario sees only the sky, a limpid blue, which begins to recede farther and farther away as he plunges to his death in the sea.

At least, he tells himself, the last thing his eyes will see before they close forever will be the vastness of the sky, which today seems to be clearer and brighter than ever.

And then, suddenly, fingers reach for his and a palm strikes his.

Unexpectedly, Mario finds himself hanging over the ocean. Some small stones fall around him, and he allows himself to look down for a moment, towards the roaring waters that were about to become his grave. He’s unable to restrain the mixture of terror and relief that takes over his entire body and soul as he realizes that he’s narrowly escaped.

He’s been very close to dying.

“Mamma mia...”

Mario's heart is still beating wildly in his chest, distressed at the proximity of death, when he decides to look up to find out to whom the hand that has just saved his life belongs.

His face immediately lights up as he notices the person that, leaning over the edge of the island, is silhouetted against the crystalline blue of the sky. A hat, a moustache, overalls... An outfit very similar to his own, but in shades of green and blue instead of red and purple.

Mario is beside himself with joy.

“Luigi!”

His exclamation is full of relief and the deepest and purest bliss. There he is: his strong little brother, eyes closed, clutching his hand, making a visible effort to hold him and not let him be swallowed up by the waves.

And, above all, more alive, real and solid than ever.

Mario's soul begins to sing with joy — Luigi is fine! Luigi is well and real, and not one of the visions that have been guiding him towards his sibling.

And not only that, but he has just saved his life.

Mario owes it to his dear, brave little brother that he can continue to breathe.

In fact, this was all he wanted: to be able to see Luigi one last time, to check that he’s well, that he’s alive and not in danger at all. If now death were to take him out of Luigi's reach, if the sea were to claim him in spite of everything, Mario would be happy to let himself go.

But his younger sibling, much stronger than he thinks he is, clings to him with all his might, almost in desperation, and does not seem to be willing to let death take his big brother away. In the midst of the effort, within seconds of hearing Mario call out to him, Luigi opens his eyes and looks directly at him.

The terror and anguish glistening in his eyes cut Mario's breath for an instant.

For a second, suspended over the edge of the ship, held only by his twin's fingers, Mario ponders how he himself would feel if the situation were reversed.

In fact... he knows all too well.

Before they ended up in that world that seems to consist only of a wide sea and a couple of islands, Luigi, in an attempt to flee from some bees that were attacking him, fell off a cliff in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario almost fell with him from the momentum with which he rushed after him to rescue him, and he vividly remembers the fear he experimented, the horror that gripped his heart, as Luigi dangled from his hand, one step away from death.

Mario swallows. The anguish that invaded him at that instant hasn’t completely left him. He’s been so close to losing his brother that he’s sure that never, not even if he lived a thousand lives, would he be able to forget the panic, the terror, the horrible and sad prospect of living in a world without Luigi... and that it was his fault.

He could not bear it.

Guilt would not let him live.

His shattered heart would never recover.

And his twin's eyes, at this instant, scream exactly the same to him.

Mario can't blame Luigi for being afraid of losing him, for he himself would see his life end if death were to take Luigi from him.

Clinging to the edge of the island with his other hand, Luigi closes his eyes again and pulls Mario up, grunting from the effort. With only one hand, he manages to lift his big brother up enough so that Mario can grab onto the edge of the cliff with his free hand and pull himself up. With their combined strength, Mario finds himself taking a small, unexpected leap into the air before his entire body is safely on the ground.

He only allows himself a second to catch his breath before he sits up and begins to turn around so that he’s sitting on the grass.

“Thank you, Lu,” he manages to say in the meantime, between gasps.

Looking at Luigi out of the corner of his eye with a tired smile on his face, he notices that Luigi, standing next to him, is silently watching him, trembling, his face falling apart, his eyes moistening. Mario barely has time to wipe the smile off his face before his twin, screaming his name with a mixture of fear and relief, begins to cry loudly as he stretches his arms out to either side. Mario turns his head towards him for a second before, with an exaggerated jump caused, no doubt, by the state of nerves in which he is, Luigi pounces on him.

Despite the surprise, a wave of sheer love and warmth floods Mario when he feels the arms of his little brother, his emotions always running high, surrounding him and holding him with a mixture of liveliness and affection that warms his soul and heals all the fear and anguish he’s experimented in the time he’s been apart from his sibling. Still crying, Luigi starts to rub his cheek up and down against Mario's, who, again, smiles, this time moved, and he raises his arms to return his adored twin's embrace.

“Oh, Lulu,” he whispers, soft laughs springing from his throat due to the tenderness that invades every corner of his soul.

There he is, next to him, always as concerned for his well-being as he is for Luigi's. His twin, his brother, his sibling, his other half. The person who balances him, who keeps him sane and without whom he could not go on living.

Mario has finally found Luigi and never plans to be separated from him again.

[asukaskerian]

peddling svsss (spoilers abound)

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ok. Now try to sell me on SVSSS because I read the summary and go 'nope, nope, nope icky power dynamics do not want, nooooope' because if it is not that I am also amenable (Book summary: "Half-demon Luo Binghe rose from humble beginnings and a tortured past to become unrivaled in strength and beauty. With his harem of over three hundred wives, and dominion over both the human and demonic realms, he is truly the most powerful protagonist—in a trashy web novel series!

At least, that's what Shen Yuan, online alias "Peerless Cucumber," believes as he finishes reading the final chapter in Proud Immortal Demon Way. But when a combination of rage and a poor meal choice leads to his death, Shen Yuan finds himself reborn into the world of the web novel, in the body of Shen Qingqiu—the beautiful but cruel teacher to a young Luo Binghe.

Although as Shen Qingqiu, he now has incredible power and abilities as a cultivator, he’s destined to be horrifically punished for crimes against the protagonist, so this new Shen Qingqiu has only one course of action: get into Luo Binghe’s good graces before the young man’s rise to power. That’s the only way he’ll escape the awful fate of a true scum villain!")

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ^ like based on that summary, I would never read that light novel on my own

Askerian: oh man yeah it makes it sound like grooming as fuck Askerian: grooosssss

lovingthatofficeyfeel: exactly! lovingthatofficeyfeel: its like this for most of the danmei!

Askerian: it's not like that at ALL

lovingthatofficeyfeel: which is why I want to know why people like it so much

Askerian: ok first of all, the guy he's stuck inside of is a high ranking ice bitch, so he has to speak that way too, BUT! he's a huge nerd inside! Askerian: the contrast between the speech and the narration is sometimes completely hilarious Askerian: also. his screen name peerless cucumber is a dick joke. and the book author's airplane shooting toward the sky is also a dick joke Askerian: this guy is the kind of oblivious demisexual who will read a 600+ chapters harem story for the worldbuilding

Askerian: and the protagonist! he LOVES the main character, so he also looks favorably upon him getting everything life owes him including sex, he supposes, but! none of his wives LOVE HIM PROPERLY. hm. let's flame the author over that. Askerian: anyway so then he lands himself in the body of a teacher to a 14 year old abused kid. who is a kid! and a very adorable kid. yeee time to spoil the shit out of him Askerian: the issue there is that there's a system/game manager forcing plot points and assigning quests and no matter what he does some things must happen, such as his betraying his poor clingy baby student so that he can rise magnificently from a hell dimension and take his place as a demon king Askerian: so when his adorable little student comes back Pissed and starts doing things that look very similar to what happened in the book just before murdering his evil teacher, he starts running. but he also really wants to help his student survive and even thrive! but also, not die in the process PLEASE.

Askerian: meanwhile luo binghe went from abused by sensei to spoiled by sensei to "i will marry sensei when i grow up" to "STOP RUNNING FROM ME AND EXPLAIN"

Askerian: main character can't explain, btw. he'd die.

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ahahahahahahah OMG lovingthatofficeyfeel: see THIS, this is my shit lovingthatofficeyfeel: this sounds freaking God Tier hijinks humour

Askerian: it's so damn fun XD

lovingthatofficeyfeel: you should write the summaries for seven seas' danmei books

Askerian: also the System sells "small scenario pushers" for points Askerian: guy "what's that, ok, let's buy, maybe it'l save my life" => WHY DID I END UP HALF NAKED AND DRENCHED Askerian: luo binghe : hhhhhhh 🍆

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ahahahaha omg, wet hanfu Saves Lives XD

Askerian: shen yuan: idk what distracted him but time to run Askerian: luo binghe: D:< wAIT STOP BEING NAKED AROUND MY LOVE RIVALS shen yuan: oh no he wants to kill me twice as much Askerian: he's Oblivious (tm)

lovingthatofficeyfeel: omg. 'oblivious demi-sexual keeps running away from future-demon-king trying to seduce him'

Askerian: yiss

lovingthatofficeyfeel: this is a fanfic plot in the best way

Askerian: YISS. Askerian: i kinda love luo binghe's character too tbh. he's so nice! but he's such a yandere sometimes Askerian: i mean, nice. :X Askerian: "my fantasy life is to be my master's little housewife and i will burn down the world to make it happen" dude :X

lovingthatofficeyfeel: honestly, good on him for having balanced life goals XD

Askerian: as a kid he's adorable but also already "i hear what you said! i understand it! gonna do what i felt was right tho" Askerian: after he's been given unconditional love by sensei!!!!! but also betrayed by sensei!!! he doesnt know which way is up anymore. it's kinda clear that in the book he was from, his original version was using "seduction and sex with this random new girl that will disappear from the plot in five chapters" to paper the holes Askerian: like, couldn't trust anybody's love because he never had any, but desperately needed it. Askerian: this one's had a taste before, and doesn't know what he must have done to lose it, but he will fix it!! but only sensei will do Askerian: main character keeps expecting him to hook up with dozens of girls and it never happens and he's ?? while also totally missing all the admirers HE is gathering Askerian: also issues because he's a half demon, and sensei said he thought good demons must exist, but he was still rejected on reveal, so does that mean "there can be good demons but you're not one" Askerian: and since he's naturally smooth and it easily goes into manipulation, everything he does or say, sensei takes it as some underhanded threat or plot! he was a demon king in the book ok?! Askerian: book him was NOT nice Askerian: anyway a REALLY fun read

Askerian: though don't expect the sex scene to be good because it's a half-feral "fixing you via magic sex" and he canonically has huge meat :X Askerian: and since he has ZERO experience it uh, goes badly Askerian: tbh the author's gift does not lie with sexy porn

but tbf the point of the scene was NOT to be sexy, soooo...

[xiaq]

Steddie Time Travel Fix-it pt. 13 [now complete!]

Ao3 Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 Pt. 9 Pt. 10 Pt. 11 Pt. 12

Good things don’t happen to Eddie Munson.

They just don’t.

His entire life up until the age of 18 has been a series of unfortunate events only rarely interspersed with positive occurrences: Wayne. His guitar. DnD.

So he knows from the beginning of whatever the hell this thing is with Steve, that at some point the other shoe will drop. Because boys like Steve Harrington do not fall in love with boys like Eddie Munson. And if they do, it certainly doesn’t last.

So when, on an otherwise near euphoric Saturday morning, Steve’s parents unexpectedly arrive home, Eddie thinks: this is it; this is where my sudden rash of good luck finally runs out.

Eddie realized early on that Steve’s parents were absent in a way that went past “absent” and veered into the territory of “neglect.” They show up once or twice a month for a few days, but thet’re never present in a way that parents should be for their child. The house is more of an item to check off a list than anything else––a place to call home in between travel, a place to keep the clothes they swap before departing again. Steve tries to play it off like he doesn’t care, like the empty magazine-pretty soulless house is a blessing––and it certainly has been recently considering the prefab walls of Wayne’s trailer do not prioritize privacy. But even if Steve genuinely doesn’t care now, no kid wants to be alone. 

Eddie thinks about a younger version of Steve. Sixteen. Fourteen. Twelve. Coming home to silence. No one asking about his day. Cooking himself dinner. Eating alone.

Steve had mentioned, offhand, that he used to have a nanny before he was too old to need one. Eddie hadn’t asked how old was too old for a caretaker. He was afraid the answer might break his heart. Because Steve tells stories sometimes that he thinks are funny. Stories about leaving the television on at night to trick himself into thinking someone else was there so he wouldn’t have nightmares. Stories about missing the bus and getting sick and learning how to do his laundry. They’re self-deprecating stories. Like it’s his fault he got lost when walking the four miles home from school because he had no one to call to pick him up. Like it’s his fault that his fever got so bad that he ended up sleeping naked on the cool tile of the kitchen floor because there was no Advil in the house and he was too sick to walk to the store. Like it was his fault he used too much detergent because no one had ever taught him otherwise.

Eddie takes those stories and tucks them away and thinks that, at least now, he can ensure Steve has someone. That he’ll never be stranded or sick or confused with no one to call for help again.

They do take  advantage of Steve’s parent’s absence. Eddie and Steve spend most Friday afternoons and weekends there, hosting the kids and their families: Steve cooking or Hopper and Wayne grilling, Eddie mostly getting in the way. And once summer break starts, they take turns staying at each other’s places. A couple days with Wayne, especially if there’s a sports game Steve and Wayne want to watch together, before a couple days at Steve’s house where they can feel free to…engage in their own athletic activities.

So. It’s a Saturday morning. After a slow, sweet, late-night Friday. The kind of Friday Eddie didn’t even know was possible, didn’t know he could hope for, until Steve came along.

They’re both in boxers and nothing else: Steve’s are covered in baseball bats—a gift from Max; Eddie’s are a plaid that is disconcertingly similar to the wallpaper in Steve’s room.

Eddie is sitting on the counter next to the bowl of batter Steve is dipping out of, trying to make pancake shapes and mostly failing. Eddie had done the first batch, which were nearly all dick-shaped, before Steve decided he should take over.

So now there are hearts and lopsided stars on the griddle being carefully monitored by Steve while Eddie has his battle jacket in his lap, finishing the final stitches on the back panel.

And while Steve pokes at the pancakes, Eddie is trying to convince Steve to re-join the basketball team.

This is what love has done to him.

“I don’t understand,” Steve is pouting. “You want me to quit Hellfire?”

“No, I’m saying that we can move Hellfire to a different night next year so you can do your sportsball shit and DnD.”

Eddie, unsurprisingly, is having to retake his senior year. He’s not that upset about it considering that means he’ll be graduating with his boyfriend. Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley’s sudden determination that he graduate with good grades is a little concerning, but there are worse things in the world than being cared about by nerds.

“The basketball guys are all assholes,” Steve argues, hands on his hips. He looks like a dad at a soccer game, only more naked. It shouldn’t be hot. But Eddie has resigned himself to the fact that he finds Steve hot at all times, and distressingly so when he’s being bitchy or bossy, which are his default settings. 

“Yeah, but you’re better than most of them,” Eddie points out. “You’d be a shoe-in for captain. And if you aren’t on the team, Lucas said he probably won’t join when he gets to highschool. And,” the most important part, the part that Eddie really has had to come to terms with, “you love it. The way I love DnD. And I want you to do the things you love. Even if they’re with sweaty jocks. Who knows. Maybe you’ll even be a good influence and by the time Lucas gets there only half of them are assholes.”

Steve flips the pancakes. “You’d really move DnD for me?”

He’d do considerably more than that.

“Baby, I may not understand your freakish desire to participate in team sports but I’m not going to begrudge the joy it will bring you.”

Steve grins and it makes him look young. Lighter, somehow.

“What if I make new friends? What if I bring them to DnD? You sure you’re okay with sweaty jocks infiltrating your inner scrotum or whatever.”

“Inner sanctum,” Eddie corrects.

“That’s what I said.”

“It’s really not.”

Eddie is 85% sure Steve is fucking with him. He likes to lean into the dumb meathead stereotype, mostly, Eddie thinks, because people underestimate him, but now with the additional bonus that Steve knows it drives Eddie a little bit crazy. And Steve, for all of his excellent qualities, is a bit of bitch.

“That being said,” Eddie leers, “you can also infiltrate my inner––”

“Okay, okay,” Steve says. He pushes at one of Eddie’s knees so he can step between his legs. So he can drop a kiss to either side of his mouth before pushing further into his space, one hand on the back of his head, holding him steady when he brings their lips together.

“If it means so much to you, I’ll call the coach tomorrow,” Steve murmurs. “Summer training doesn’t start for a few more weeks. Should be plenty of time for me to get back in shape.”

“Ehn,” Eddie manages.

Steve looks pleased with himself when he steps back to the stove, stacking his finished stars and hearts untidily next to Eddie’s dicks.

He ladles out the final batch––circles, clearly their creativity has waned––as Eddie holds up the vest for a critical once-over.

“Done?” Steve asks.

“I think so.” Eddie holds it out accommodatingly. “I need to see it modeled to be certain.”

Steve discards the spatula and turns, feeding his arms through the sleeves. He tugs at the bottom with a considering pout.

“Well, give me a spin, pretty boy,” Eddie says.

Steve spins. He peacocks toward the patio doors and then back in what is probably supposed to be a mimicry of a runway walk but is mostly just ridiculous. He pauses, just before he’s in reach, and pretends to headbang over an air-guitar solo.

“What do you think?” He asks, shoving his hair out of his eyes and somehow managing to keep a straight face, “is it metal enough?”

“Except for the goddamn ABBA pin,” Eddie grouses, like he hadn’t been delighted when Steve gave it to him last week with a shit-eating grin.

Steve sways just close enough that Eddie can reach out and grab the lapels, reeling him back in. “Only one problem, though,” he sighs.

Steve’s expression immediately sobers. “What?”

“It looks too good on you. I might not want it back. Might just want you to wear it forever.”

Steve kisses him. “Joint custody?” He suggests.

“For an only child you are shockingly good at sharing,” Eddie agrees.

And then, the front door opens.

And a woman’s voice calls, “Steve?

And Steve’s hands, cupped around Eddie’s hips, go tight before he releases them and steps back. Away.

“Mom?” He answers, looking lost.

“Steve, honey, come help me with this,” she answers, backgrounded by a jingle of keys and the clack of roller-suitcase wheels.

Eddie slides down off the counter to his feet and then just––stands there. Half-naked and wide-eyed and with a well of despair quickly drowning the quiet happiness that had previously filled his chest. And he thinks: this is it; this is where my sudden rash of good luck finally runs out.

There’s no making it up the stairs without passing through the front room. No way to get to the garage, either. He considers, briefly, just going out the back door, near-nudity be damned, but Steve must clock what he’s thinking and reaches out, grabbing his wrist.

“Did you mean it?” Steve whispers.

Two weeks before, they’d driven out to the quarry, laid a quilt on the hood of the beemer, and shared a smoke and a series of lazy kisses while looking at the stars.

“I don’t mean to be a downer,” Steve had said contemplatively, his fingers moving aimlessly through Eddie’s hair. “But this happy bubble that we’re in isn’t going to last. We should probably talk about what happens when it…” he paused, brow furrowed adorably with the deep concentration of someone stoned. “...pops.”

“Okay,” Eddie said, not following.

“The kids and Hop and Wayne knowing about us and being so cool about it––that’s not how my parents will react, when they find out.”

“When,” Eddie repeated.

“They will,” Steve had said, half resigned, half something else. He says it with confidence, maybe. Or maybe even pride. “Because if we keep spending all this time together one of the neighbors will mention it to my mom, or someone will see us too close in the grocery store and tell my Dad. Or they’ll show up unannounced one day to find us skinny dipping in the pool. And I’m not going to stop spending time with you, so. It’ll happen.”

“Okay,” Eddie repeated, understanding.

“So when that happens,” Steve said, “do you want me to deny it? And we start being more careful. Or do I give them an honest answer and probably get disowned? Frankly I’d rather do the latter but I know the house is a perk. Not just for us but for the kids. For everyone.”

“You think your parents might get violent?” Eddie asked.

Steve’s fingers went still in his hair. “My dad, maybe. I can handle him, though. If I have to.”

Eddie hated the look on his face. 

“You’d be willing to give up the house and the money and everything?”

“Money won’t be an issue. The car’s title is in my name and I’ve been building a nice cushion in my savings account. Not planning to be cut off or anything but…”

“Just in case,” Eddie supplied.

“Just in case,” Steve agreed. “The problem is that it could cause a lot of trouble for you. And I’m not eighteen yet in this timeline, so getting an apartment or something would be––”

“I love trouble,” Eddie interrupted, crossing his fingers and holding them up, “Trouble and I are like this. And obviously you’d move in with us until the end of the school year. Of course you’d move in with us. We’ve got two bedrooms in the new place and Wayne thinks the sun shines out your ass and he doesn’t try to make me watch sports with him anymore when you’re around. You might have to cut down your hair routine in the mornings, though, if we’re all sharing a bathroom on school days.”

Steve had laughed and kissed him, which was the response Eddie was angling for, and they’d settled back to continue their star gazing and Eddie hadn’t thought about it much since except for occasionally at night, on the rare nights when he wasn’t with Steve. And even then he only thought about it abstractly. Living together for real. Waking up together every morning. Making breakfast. Getting to touch Steve whenever the whim hit him. It’s too soon. And they’re too young. And it would be a huge inconvenience at best and actively dangerous at worst if other people like his parents were to find out. 

But they’re careful when they’re in public. And Steve’s folks are never there and Eddie hadn’t thought––well he hadn’t been certain how serious Steve was, anyway, when they’d had that conversation.

Now, standing in the kitchen, listening to Steve’s mom enter the house, he can’t reconcile the question Steve’s now asking with the reality of the situation. Standing in the Harrington kitchen at the six-burner stove, surrounded by top-of-the-line appliances, while the water from the pool outside reflects sun through the double glass patio doors. No way Steve would give up all of this for––

“Eddie,” Steve whispers urgently.

“Yeah,” Eddie exhales. “I meant it.” He did. He does.

“Then call Hopper,” he says lowly. “Get him over here. Just in case”

And then he’s walking confidently into the front room.

Eddie reaches for the phone.

“What,” Hopper snarls after the third ring. “It’s my day off.”

“It’s Eddie,” Eddie whispers. “Steve’s parents got back early and––”

Hopper's voice abruptly loses its sleepy fuzziness. “Are you safe?”

“They haven’t seen me yet. But they’re going to. And it’s––they’ll know. And Steve isn’t going to deny it.”

“Five minutes.”

“Thanks, Hop.”

He hangs up the phone and, with one last, reluctant, look at the back porch doors, he walks around the corner into the front room.

Steve’s dad, wrestling a bag over the threshold, glances up at his entrance and goes still.

Steve, helping his mom collapse the handle of her suitcase, carefully moves to place himself between his father and Eddie.

Suddenly, all the little noises from before stop. Eddie watches as Robert Harrington’s attention moves from Steve’s inarguably defensive stance, to Eddie and Steve’s combined lack of clothing, to the riot of Steve’s hair and the red of his lips. From the tattoos on Eddie’s arms and his ribs to the mouth-shaped bruises that sit like a possessive necklace at the base of his throat. His gaze moves back to linger on the vest Steve is still wearing.

“Steven,” his father says.

“Dad,” Steve answers levelly. “I didn’t expect you for two more days.”

“Clearly. What’s happening here?”

“Are you sure you want me to answer that?” Steve says. “Because once I say it, I can’t take it back. Once I say it, we can’t pretend anymore.”

“Pretend,” his mother starts with a flighty little laugh. “I don’t understand.”

Steve is still looking at his dad. 

“Steven,” Robert Harrington says.

“Ok, then,” Steve says. His voice is low and firm and devastatingly certain. “This is Eddie. My boyfriend.”

Steve’s mother sits, abruptly, on the couch, still clinging to her luggage.

“No,” Robert Harrington says.

Steve laughs, a huff of a thing with raised eyebrows and a disbelieving shake of his head. “I did give you the option of ignorance,” he says. “You didn’t take it.”

He glances behind him, meets Eddie's eyes with a crooked, if sad, grin, and nods toward the stairs. “You wanna grab your stuff? I think we’re probably going to be kicked out here in a minute.”

Eddie does not want to leave Steve alone, but Eddie also does not want to be nearly naked under the baleful gaze of Robert Harrington anymore. He gives Steve a look that is meant to convey ‘yell if you need me,’ and he goes upstairs.

It takes less than a minute for him to pull on his clothes from the night before and he laces his boots on the landing at the top of the stairs, ears straining to overhear the muffled conversation occuring downstairs. There’s a lot of swearing coming from Steve’s dad and maybe some restrained sobs coming from Steve’s mother but it doesn’t sound like Steve needs help. So Eddie shoves the rest of his stuff from the bathroom counter and the nightstand into his backpack and then pulls open Steve’s top dresser drawer to pick some clothes for him. One of his own shirts is front and center and it’s purely for expediency that he tosses it onto the bed, following it with a pair of jeans, socks, and a jacket.

And then––

Then he goes downstairs.

The voices are getting louder, not just due to proximity.

Eddie pauses, just for a moment as he descends the last few steps, assessing the situation. Steve’s dad is in Steve’s face, hissing something about disgust and embarrassment and Steve’s mother is crying about knowing they were leaving him alone too much which Eddie thinks is rich. He might be shit at school but even he knows that correlation doesn't equal causation. If neglectful parents were the only requirement for homosexuality, gay marriage would probably be legal and politicians opposing it would only have themselves to blame.

“I can make you a list of house stuff you’ll need to deal with,” Steve is saying with an aloofness that has to come from the few extra years he’s lived, tucked secretly behind his too-young face. “You’ll need to hire a pool company and lawn service, to start. And there’s a guy who’s coming to look at the gutters next Tuesday, so you’ll need to reschedule that since I’m assuming you aren’t staying that long.”

Eddie goes to the kitchen. He turns off the stove, bins the final, now blackened, batch of pancakes and loads up the rest––dicks, stars, hearts––into a tupperware. He tucks that into his bag, has a brief argument with the zipper, and then returns to the sitting room.

“The only place you’re going,” Steve’s father is snarling, ���is someplace they can fix this.”

“That’s not one of the options I gave you,” Steve says patiently. “Either you let me stay and you get to keep pretending I’m whatever you want me to be, or I move out and I make it clear to anyone who asks that I don’t consider myself a Harrington anymore. Your choice.”

“There’s a place in California,” Steve’s dad says. “Harriet, where was it that Marge sent her son?”

Steve’s mom just continues to clutch her luggage and sob.

“We’ll sort it out on Monday,” he continues. “You can spend the summer there and be back before your junior year. And you––” he points at Eddie, you will leave and you will not associate with my son anymore. God knows what you’ve put in his head––”

“Senior year, dad,” Steve sighs. “I just finished my junior year. And I was the one that seduced Eddie. If that matters to you.”

“It’s true,” Eddie says, summoning a brashness he does not at all feel. “I was there.”

“Harriet,” Robert shouts. “Stop crying and go find the number of that place in California.”

“No point,” Steve says evenly. “I already said I won’t go.”

“You’re my son. You’ll do whatever the hell I tell you to do.”

“No,” Steve repeats, like he’s talking to an obstinate child. “I’m not. And I won’t.”

“Yes you fucking will, or––”

The doorbell rings.

Everyone goes still for several seconds until it rings a second time, accompanied by a brusque knock. Steve’s dad mutters a string of expletives under his breath and goes to answer it.

It’s only when Eddie hears Hopper's voice saying, “Robert, I didn’t know you were in town,” that Eddie finally feels like he can take a full breath.

He thinks, absently, that his intense relief at the arrival of the chief of police is more than a little hilarious, considering the same chief of police has arrested him on more than one occasion. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though.

“We just got back,” Steve’s dad says. He’s only cracked the door enough to speak to Hopper, trying to shield Steve and Eddie from view.

“That’d explain it, then,” Hopper says. “The boys invited me over for some breakfast before we go on our weekend fishing trip.” He raises his voice, “Pancakes or waffles this morning, boys?”

“Pancakes,” Steve calls. 

“Fishing trip,” Robert Harrington says.

“A-yup,” Hopper says, hooking one thumb in his belt. “Steve said he was interested in learning and obviously Eddie volunteered to join.”

“Obviously,” Robert Harrington says. 

“Joined at the hip, those two,” Hopper continues. “Nice to see.”

“Is it.”

“Anyhow, are they about ready?”

“We need to finish packing a few things up,” Steve calls. “You want to come in and help? I don’t know what pants would be best.”

Hopper steps forward and Steve’s dad grudgingly opens the door enough to admit him.

“Good grief,” Hop says, taking in Steve’s appearance. “I should have known you wouldn’t be ready on time.” He casts a critical eye over Eddie. “At least you’re dressed. Come on, you two, let's go. We’re burning daylight.”

***

Twenty minutes later, they pull up in front of the trailer and Hopper parks his truck with two suitcases of Steve’s stuff in the bed next to Steve’s beemer. 

Before Eddie can get out of the car, before Hopper can even get the tailgate down on the truck, Steve is hugging Hopper with nearly the same desperation that he hugged Robin in the hallway all those months before.

He’d been so calm at his house, methodical as he packed his bags, reserved but steady as he drove them back to the park.

But now he’s got his arms wrapped around Hopper, hands fisted in the fabric of his shirt, head ducked, just enough, so Hopper can tuck Steve under his chin and hold him back. Now, he’s––he looks like a kid whose parents just confirmed their love had limits.

And Eddie aches for him.

He can’t help but think about Wayne’s careful, leading, assertions. His stories about his gay friend in Indy. His belief that people ought to live and let live. His enjoyment of queer musical artists and his constant, constant reminders that he would love Eddie no matter what. That his love was not transactional or conditional and that even if Eddie said he didn’t want it, he’d always have it. No matter what.

Eddie wishes, so much, that Steve had a Wayne.

Then again, he thinks, watching Hopper’s mouth move against Steve’s year, watching him holding Steve back just as tight, if Wayne has taught Eddie anything it’s that you get to choose your family, if you want. You’re not stuck with the ones you’re given. 

Wayne comes out the door, looking confused, and Steve wrenches himself away, busies himself with pulling out his bags while dragging the back of his arm across his eyes.

Hopper steps up to the porch and has barely said a dozen words to Wayne before Wayne stopping across the yard and pulling Steve into a hug too and––

Oh.

Eddie is going to need a moment.

“Hop,” Wayne says over Steve’s shoulder. “Thank you. For bringing my boys back safe and sound.”

Eddie is not going to cry. He’s not. 

He might. Just a little.

“Sure,” Hopper says. “You let me know if they cause any trouble.”

For once, Eddie is pretty sure the “they” Hop is referring to is not, in fact, Steve and Eddie.

“Will do. You want to stay for breakfast?”

“We brought the pancakes with us,” Steve says wetly.

“I might stay for some pancakes,” Hopper muses. “What kind?”

“Uh,” Eddie says. “Blueberry. But fair warning, about half of them are dick-shaped.”

Hopper squints at him. “What other shape options are there?”

“Hearts and stars.”

“I’ll take stars,” he says.

“Hearts,” Wayne says.

“Done,” Eddie agrees.

He and Hopper each grab one of Steve’s bags from the truck and Wayne pulls away from Steve only so he can open the door. He keeps a hand on the back of Steve’s neck as he leads them inside and Eddie follows with so much love in his chest that he feels buoyant. 

“We’ll take care of it, kid,” Hopper murmurs behind him. “It’ll be okay.”

And Eddie believes him. 

***

Tag list:

@perfectlysensiblenonsense @stxrcrossed186 @mushie8123 @starlight-archer @estrellami-1 @snowstar2368 @superfanne @starlight-archer @child-of-cthulhu @djohawke @zerokrox-blog @alwayscertainwasteland @brie-luna @sharingisntkaren @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @deadfromtheneckdown @y4r3luv @manda-panda-monium @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlprocastinator100

[starseneyes]

Loser Siblings - Morgan + Sasha - Nobody Wants This

First off, I do not condone or support infidelity. I actually have a big problem with it. I've rated films a full star down for infidelity before.

But the dynamic between these two and how it's written and performed is gorgeous. I don't get to watch a lot of television these days (surgeries, and work drama, and life stuff, oh, my!), so this was my introduction to both Timothy Simons and Justine Lupe.

They're both phenomenal actors, and I'm excited to see what they do with their material in S2 (just saw the renewal! Huzzah!!) especially after seeing how deftly and hilariously they handled S1.

Not gonna spoil anything before we get past the "Keep Reading" barrier, but I really wanted to do a breakdown of the Loser Sibling chemistry, the writing, the framing, and the weird little moments of symmetry that may—or may not be—intentional.

SPOILER ALERT: Yes, I am going to talk about the show in its entirety in detail. You are forewarned. Also, no judgement if you want to take a bathroom break first or just save this to your phone to read later. I have a lot to say.

Alright, everybody ready to dive into this tale of toeing the line on infidelity? Yeah, let's dive in.

"Is Esther cheating on me? Whatever, I'll stay with her."

This says so much about his psyche. From moment one, he thinks that he is not worthy of loyalty in a partner.

He would be unsurprised to find out his wife is cheating on him. And he is so resigned to that fact, that he would be willing to stay with her if she did.

Now, we all know that sentiment absolutely does not go both ways (not that it should), but it's a little heartbreaking to get this very early glimpse into how little Sasha values himself.

And, of course, these early scenes are designed to establish the relationships. That's why Morgan had to mention their mother to Joanne while at the ATM, and why Noah has to find some way to show he and Sasha are brothers.

But in these little moments of necessary exposition strung in as dialogue, we get to know our characters.

"You have to stop letting Mom cut your hair." "Is somebody jealous? I just don't look like myself when she doesn't cut it."

Identity is a big thing. How we see ourselves. How we see ourselves compared to others. How we interpret others see us. We've established that Sasha's mother is a big part of his identity.

"Sash, I tried to convince Esther to come over, but, you know, I lost her as soon as I said we were watching the game." "Oh, that makes sense."

We see right here that Sasha is unfazed that Esther doesn't want to join. And, honestly, husbands and wives don't need to be joined at the hip.

My husband loves horror. While I can do a good thriller, I'm not a horror girlie, in general. So, I send him on dates with other friends (male and female) to see horror movies.

We're completely comfortable with this arrangement. So, I'm not going to judge Esther for not wanting to be there to watch a game.

And we set up the dynamic that Sasha is used to doing things without his wife. It's not bad or good, just a part of the story.

"Why do we do this every year?" "Because some divorces are meant to be celebrated." "Like yours!"

And now we know a little bit more about Morgan. Now, we don't know a lot about this marriage, but we do know that her mom was glad when it was over, and Morgan seems miffed by her glee.

"Should we grab your sister? Or does that not matter." "She's right here with me." "Hi. I matter."

Right here. Right from the beginning we see that Joanne is seen as the decision maker, as the person who matters. And there's Morgan who is literally one half of the show having to stick up for herself.

The other thing that really stands out in this scene is that Kristen Bell and Justine Lupe crush it as sisterly chemistry.

It was there in the earlier scenes, but seeing them in the family dynamic, and then on the phone at the end, you really feel like this bond is lived-in and settled. And that is all a testament to the performances of these two phenoms.

"No, I'm coming with you!" "Fine! Just don't tell Esther." "I'm not gonna tell Esther."

This exchange tells us a lot about these two. First off, Sasha just invited himself to be the third wheel on a date. At this point, he knows a cute, tiny, blonde girl showed up and is now outside waiting for his brother.

He has no idea he is going to meet another cute blonde girl when he heads outside. He really invited himself to be the third wheel on a date, and Noah just said, "Fine".

And my heart kinda aches for Sasha because he really just wants to get out of the house and be around people. This is only episode two, but for those of us who've seen the whole series, this guy really doesn't go much of anywhere without his brother.

Like, they have their friends they play basketball with, but other than that, he spends a lot of time alone.

Also, as much as the scene before cements Morgan and Joanne, this one locks in Noah and Sasha. They really feel like siblings who are used to taking care of each other, putting up with each other, and trusting the hell out of each other. Adam Brody and Timothy Simons knock it out of the park.

Holy shit, this show has no weak links.

"What are you doing? What is happening? Why is he getting in the car?"

It's ridiculous, but this is peak romcom, folks. It's a misunderstanding. He didn't notice the meaning behind Morgan's "we" and he's committed to the night.

Some meet cutes are sweet. Some are funny. Some annoy the shit out of both parties. In this case, only one half is annoyed, but it's still pretty damn funny.

"Are these all sweaters?" "Can you please not touch my stuff?" "It's kind of hard not to. There's so much of it... I'll just hold onto these."

Something about this is so... Sasha. Like, he has inserted himself into the night and their lives. But he is also willing to hold onto her sweaters so they don't get smashed.

Like, it's the dichotomy of his awkwardness and social blindness combined with his inborn desire to be helpful.

Also, Sasha and Morgan are passing something back and forth in the car that I can't quite make out. It almost looks like they're passing her phone back and forth, but the dialogue doesn't match. Makes me wonder if the dialogue was ADR'd later to be something different than what it was originally.

Yes, I'm that nerd. But I also spent part of my childhood in booths doing voice over replacement for Anime and then commercials. So, my brain works this way.

"Okay, so we're going?"

And even though she's annoyed by "the brother", and she came with the intent of rescuing her sister, she's willing to go along with the night. Best wingwoman ever.

Sasha has already settled in behind Joanne, but Noah makes him scoot over so he's behind Morgan. And, thus, the romcom double date begins.

Oh, yes, this is absolutely a double date. It doesn't go particularly well for Sasha. But as far as Morgan is concerned, she is playing wingwoman to her sister and the Rabbi while she has to deal with the annoying brother who wants to glom onto her.

To be clear—Morgan honestly believed Sasha wants to get with her. And she is so annoyed by him and his presumptive behavior that she is immediately turned off by him. She isn't open to even considering him because of it.

Now, we—the audience—know that Sasha is married and inserted himself as a third wheel on a date. And, yo, Sasha, not cool. But, at the same time, he simply is enjoying being out with people instead of home in his basement alone.

"The brother is brutal. Ogre emoji. Vomit emoji."

Morgan and Joanne are in panic mode trying to get the phone to stop talking, but Sasha and Noah are pretty chill, honestly. Sasha even mouths, "Is that me?" to which Noah grimaces.

Seconds ago, Sasha was annoying Noah. Now, they're on the same team ready to gang up on the ladies for the mishap.

It's mostly playful and shows their dynamic in full swing. It even takes a second for Joanne to realize the brothers are torturing the sisters for fun and aren't even offended.

At the bar, Sasha hands everyone their drinks, and the four of them are standing in pairs, again. Now, Sasha knows he's the uninvited third wheel, so he is going to let his brother be nearest the girl he's interested in. But Morgan still thinks this guy is hitting on her.

"I've got this. I'm independently wealthy 'cause my family's rich."

Morgan thinks he's trying to impress her, but he really is just mis-speaking, which he is prone to do when he is excited.

It's another place where she is misreading the situation because she's convinced he wants to hit on her and definitely wants to sleep with her.

"What about 'Slutty Shiksas'?" "Ooh, now I'm listening."

It's the first time she looks up at him with a smile. And it's brief, because she and her sister are having a tiff, but that's the first time she looked at him with anything other than disgust or annoyance.

"No, no, no. Don't just leave me stranded with him!" "A lot of tension between you guys." "No, this isn't happening."

He tries to sit down and be conversational with her, but she walks away. Again, it's the misunderstanding. She thinks he's trying to hit on her and he is so not her type.

He just wants to chat. He wants to help. It's part of his DNA.

"Oh, we're going outside? Okay."

He really doesn't understand. Because he would never think of hitting on her, and he thinks his status as "married" is established.

"You a Swiftie?" "No. Just pretending to look at songs so we don't have to talk. I mean, didn't you go to high school? Our friends are hooking up. Be cool." "Listen, I know I have a thing about me that makes people want to elbow me in the jaw." "Yeah."

Up until this moment, she still thinks he is hitting on her. She still thinks she is warding off unwanted advances. But I do think she appreciates that he at least seems a tiny bit self-aware.

"My wife says it's just-" "Wait, I'm sorry. You're married?!" "Yeah." "God, you have, like, no husband energy at all. That's scary." "I'm wearing a wedding ring." "Yeah, well I haven't been looking at you."

Sasha tries not to be offended. Because, honestly, he is tough to offend. But something in him keeps pushing for the tiniest connection as he lists off Taylor Swift albums.

"Is somebody's mom here?"

And, right there, we have the dynamic of Sasha and Esther set up. And as soon as Sasha says it's his wife, notice how Morgan backs away from him.

Now, this could just be a director's choice for the framing so Joanne and Noah can stand between them, but it also feels like Morgan subconsciously does not want to be associated with whatever is going on with Sasha and his wife.

"It's a pleasure."

He says it to Morgan. Not to Joanne. He barely looks at Joanne as he leaves. But he does look to Morgan. She keeps her eyes down, not making eye-contact. But she does watch after he walks away.

"Rebecca knows about her." "What's there to know?" "Oh, just that you brought her to Temple and stood, like, weirdly close to her."

Remember this. Because everyone paying attention to Joanne and Noah noticed they stood close to one another, right? This'll come back in the Season Finale, but not in relation to Noah and Joanne.

No, in that Season Finale our Loser Siblings are way too cozy for "just friends" at his family event. But we'll get to that later.

"And you, Esther, allowing Sasha to out with them last night? She has a sister, you know." "Oh, I saw the sister. Not worried!" "I mean, she was clearly into me, but obviously I would never-"

There is so much going on here. First off, I feel bad for Esther because you can clearly see she's been delegated the role of her husband's keeper. She is trying to live up to Bina's expectation.

Sasha is self-aware enough to know that he was getting under Morgan's skin more than anything at the bar, but maybe not self aware enough to realize he was on a double date.

Also, we see Sasha behind Esther mouthing and waving his hands to let his little brother know he didn't sell him out. This positioning is so representative of their relationship.

"What he is doing here is throwing away a relationship with literally the perfect woman."

Projecting much, Esther? If she's so perfect, you marry her! I think you'd be a happier person.

"Breaking up the family? What the fuck. I'm so sorry, man."

Sasha already warned Noah that he was having to play both sides to try to protect his brother, but also protect himself.

We've seen it in his interactions with both families—Sasha tries to redirect and shield his little brother. He wants to help.

But he also isn't standing up to his wife, here. He's letting her steamroll his brother. And you can tell he doesn't like it, but he doesn't know how to fight it.

"...Joanne's more than fun."

I love this framing. So often in life, people try to define us by one thing. You can only be one thing and that's it. You can be "serious" or "Fun". You can be "Good" or "bad".

But life is made up of grey areas in varying shades that are far more interesting and realistic than those tiny, monolithic boxes in which people want to stuff us.

We can be more than one thing. We are more than one thing. And I think this is one of those things that this show really nails.

"We love fun. But do we end up with fun?" "Yeah, have you met Esther? She's not fun. That's why I married her."

This is telling. Yes, he loves her. He does! He's loyal and dedicated and obedient (for the most part). But he thinks that the way his parents raised him to think is the way it has to be.

That's the whole premise of Noah and Joanne rocking the boat—they're subverting every expectation. Morgan thinks her sister is losing her mind. Sasha thinks his brother is hoping for too much.

They're all baked into the expectations of life that have been foisted upon them.

And, to bring us back to our Loser Siblings, they are not what the other expected, either.

Morgan expects guys who meet her expectations of the world, who meet her "type". Sasha expects to be content in his marriage no matter what, to never be excited about another woman in any way.

And that's honestly why my brain puts Esther and Rebecca together—because Esther would battle against her own self to meet the expectations of those around her because she thinks if she follows that blueprint she will have a good life.

At the end, I'd like to see Esther just as happy as everyone else—no longer trying to fit in a box, but allowing herself to flourish.

I feel like we see the first touches of her rebellion at the Bat Mitzvah when she helps Miriam cut her dress. Esther is on her own path of self-discovery.

But, I'm skipping ahead, again...

"I just thought we missed our regularly scheduled Wednesday sex night-"

Hold the phone. They have a regularly scheduled sex night!? I have three young children with varying social calendars, but we don't have any bloody scheduled sex nights!

I feel like this was Esther's idea, and Sasha went with it... even though that guy would love more than once-a-week conjugal visits in his own home.

We transition from Sasha getting none to Morgan watching her sister getting ready for some.

I love that we go from Morgan on the left side of the bed to Sasha on the left side of the bed. It's giving me real flashbacks to Three to Tango in a sweet way.

If these two ever get together, that'll be something they have to compromise on—who gets the left side.

"You just need help... someone to help... oh no, that someone is me. Are you sure you want that?"

This actually breaks my heart a bit. Because while he shakes off the loser siblings label as inevitable but not unbearable, we get a peek into his psyche, here.

He knows his daughter needs help. He's the only help available. But he still worries he's not good enough.

"Do you wanna hang out here with me? Cuddle up and watch Mission Impossible?"

This takes me back to episode 2 when Noah and Sasha are heading out of the Temple. Sasha invites Noah to come back to his place to hang out, but when he realizes his brother is going out, he begs to tag along.

Throughout the entirety of the season, we get a sense of just how isolated Sasha is. His wife is always off with her best friend. He has the basketball guys, but that's about it, and they don't seem all that close.

And it's tougher on the Morgan side. She hangs out with her sister and shared friends only once at the gym. So, we don't really have a good scope of her social circle beyond her dates.

Hopefully season 2 will give us more to chew on for Morgan's social circle...

"Oh. I have to let you know before anything happens. I think I'm in a relationship with a teenage boy I met on the internet." "Oh, does he know about me?"

And this is why she would never think he would hide anything real from her. Because this is stupid, ridiculous shit and he still told her about it.

But, remember, at this point in the series, he has seen Morgan once on their not-double-date.

"This is just annoying because I can't miss my romantic weekend, but I really can't miss this dinner because clearly Morgan can't do it alone."

And here we have the words that have been beaten into her head over and over. Where Sasha knows that he isn't helpful or wanted (not good enough), Morgan has been told she isn't capable (not good enough).

"We're just in that, like, have to spend every single second together stage." "Yeah, Esther and I are there, too. More of a legal thing, though."

It's so sterile when he talks about Esther. Not in a derogatory way, but truly these are two people who are in a routine that isn't exciting or engaging. And they've both accepted that this is just the way it is.

For some people, a routine like that is comforting. For some, it's suffocating. And I get the impression that Esther is all about organizing and planning while Sasha would like to be a bit more free.

Now, this can work in the real world. But as the only non-ADHD member of my 5 person family, I can tell you it takes a lot of work and communication.

"You're great with powerful guys." "No, he's married." "Fuck!"

And this is where my whole "no married" theory with Morgan comes from. She's a gal who is confident in her sexuality, down for a hookup, but we also know that she was once in a committed, married relationship.

And everything in this show gives me the impression she doesn't fuck with married guys.

"Morgan, you cannot handle the entire podcast decision by-"

And, there it is, again. "You can't".

"Sasha can let her into my place. I'll text him."

So, at this point we know that Sasha and Morgan haven't exchanged numbers. I mean, when would they have done it, right? When he was rushing out to the car so his wife would stop honking and screaming?

But my bet is that this next scene is where they exchange numbers. And from his point of view, it's a completely practical thing—Morgan can't decide if she should take the laptop with her or leave it there (since Joanne will be returning to Noah's and it would be an extra trip to get it back from Morgan), and Sasha offers his number so she can text him if she needs to get back in.

Like, it is totally something I can see him doing. And then he has her text him right then so she's in his phone because he likes to fuck with scammers. I think that would charm her, honestly, and so she gives him her number... for practical purposes, of course.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Thank you. Thank you. Oh my God."

Morgan is so overwhelmed that she forgets to be snarky with Sasha. He does this little hand flip when he hands her things (check out the drink in the season finale), but it caught my eye immediately here. I just thought it was a fun quirk.

As she steps past him to the couch, his brow furrows as he listens to her.

"You know, I've got a guy who could wipe that in, like, an hour."

Where Sasha is afraid to offer his daughter help, and doesn't even attempt to offer his wife help, he is open with Morgan.

There's a selflessness she brings out in him, even here. He genuinely wants to help, and he doesn't think she'll immediately dismiss him.

"... my sister's ditching our work dinner to have sex with your stupid brother."

There's a beat here where he leans down to get his coffee and then stands back, still giving her space. It reminds me of how he stood to the side of her at the bar that one night. He didn't encroach on her space, didn't hover behind her, but simply wanted to be there in the moment with other people.

It wasn't a sexual or romantic thing, but just a person who wanted to be with other people, but without invading boundaries.

The last time he tried to sit near her, she got up and ran away. So, I get why he is a bit cautious, here, giving her space.

"Now the big boss guy is coming and I'm kinda freaking out because I need to show people I can do this alone."

Something in that breaks down a wall for Sasha. He crosses over and sits down on the couch with her, a full cushion separating them.

"Oh, I get it. You're the loser sibling."

That doesn't sit too well with Morgan. And if he hadn't jumped in so fast to respond, she might have been offended.

"What?" "And no judgment. I'm the loser sibling. I mean, it's hard to compete when your brother's the Jewish Jesus."

And then she gets it. It's not about "awful". It's about having this super, impossibly pedastled sibling to which everything you do is compared.

Morgan coughs out a laugh as she says, "Yeah". She gets it. She understands it. And this is probably the first moment where she understands Sasha.

Let's be real, she was ready to be offended over the "loser sibling" comment. But to see that he sees himself as one and the parameters are basically "compared to Jesus", it becomes super hard to be offended.

"It doesn't make as much sense with you, though."

And her reaction as he actually says things that coming from anyone else would totally be flirting is completely different from their first interaction.

But, also, she is in a really different place, emotionally. At their first meeting, Sasha was the interloper and she was already on-edge with her sister. This time, she is anxious and vulnerable. She needs him, and he helped her without hesitation.

But as he lists off her virtues, she softens. She smiles. She laughs.

And I think part of it is knowing this guy is married, is not remotely trying to hit on her or get anything out of her, and he's actually the one helping her out here.

Morgan saw in their first interaction that Sasha is totally stream-of-consciousness. He says what he's thinking. And, as we'll later see at the first basketball game Joanne attends, he's a little bit of a natural flirt.

Sasha is more of a people-person than he allows himself to remember. He likes talking to people. He likes being with other people. Yes, he can be alone, but he's one of those people who doesn't want to be alone all the time.

He's not looking for anything here with Morgan. Not a romance. Not a friendship. Nothing.

But what he's finding is an unexpected moment of connection. And I don't think how much either of them realizes they lack that in so much of their lives.

"And you're way hotter than your sister. I mean, she's too short." "Finally, somebody gets it, right? So short."

This is what allows her to move on. Shifting the conversation from her to her sister helps her re-focus on what she's supposed to be doing and she looks back to the screen.

It isn't long before Sasha wants to share something else helpful. I mean, the guy likes to help. It's hard-coded into him.

Just look at the apples in the Season Finale. He doesn't mind being the one on his knees in a good suit picking fruit up off the floor so everyone else can have a good time.

And he honestly wants to help Morgan. This isn't romantic. This isn't a seduction technique. This is literally Sasha just being Sasha.

"Everything in life is a hostage situation." "Okay..."

I love this. She is still flabbergasted by him. She still doesn't know what to make of him. But, she isn't outright dismissing him.

I do think a lot of it has to do with her mentality. When she first met Sasha and Noah, she was worried about her sister, in a bad mood, and stressed. Adding in the brothers was adding to her stress.

But in this episode, Sasha and Noah are the ones who are helping her, here. Noah reached out to Sasha, and Sasha is the one who actually get her in.

And while she's not sure where he's going with this, she's willing to hear him out.

"Holy shit, you're so good at that." "Thank you. It was a great tip."

And here we have the second positive memory in about two minutes associated with Sasha. First, he got her the laptop. Now, he's giving her tips to get through this meeting that's been stressing her out.

And having him affirm that she's "good at that" is exactly what she needs in the moment.

There's this episode of Quantum Leap (the original series with Scott Bakula) that comes to mind over and over for me. It's an episode where Sam leaps into a person who is mentally disabled.

And Sam, genius though he is, finds himself making mistake after mistake because everyone treats him like he is a buffoon. They treat him like he can't do anything right. And it says so much about how we see ourselves because of how others see us.

I wrote about a similar moment of realization in an episode of The Librarians where Jake talked about how people expected that he couldn't do things, so he started to believe he couldn't.

Both Morgan and Sasha know what it's like to have everyone expect them to drop the ball, to mess it up, to fall apart. And it sucks, because we learn through the course of the series that they are both very capable human beings who excel in their lines of work.

But the people around them enforce the idea that they aren't good enough. And that shit seeps into your pores and into your soul and it's hard to unstick.

In this moment, Sasha gets to help and Morgan gets to feel capable.

"Thank you for the tip. No, that doesn't work." "No, not as good."

He misspeaks. But this time is so different compared to any other time he misspoke or said something that didn't quite land. She isn't annoyed with him. Instead, she agrees with him that, yeah, that wasn't your best. And they move on.

He's growing on her. Not in a romantic way, but in a friendly way. And, as we'll later learn, that's untested waters for Morgan.

And this scene is less than two minutes long. Now, this isn't unusual in terms of scenes, but it's pretty remarkable that we witnessed the two of them bonding in less than two minutes.

All it took was Morgan being receptive toward Sasha. Not in a romantic way, but as a person.

"You were born in Canada?"

I love how smoothly she does is. She uses the tip from Sasha, and it actually works to help get the meeting started. And thus Sasha is associated with endorphins for Morgan.

Look, I'm not saying that at this second she starts to crave him carnally. All I'm saying is that little things build up over time, and though he is not mentioned in this scene, his influence is here and Morgan is certainly thinking a little about him, maybe wanting to thank him, again, for the tip.

"Hey, Zaddy. What's your job title?" "World's greatest lover." "Oh, I wish."

This whole interaction is so subtle and so heartbreaking for me. Yes, of course, there's her declaration that he isn't the world's greatest lover, but that doesn't bother me as much as the physical bits of his scene.

Look, some couples throw barbs. Sometimes Matt and I do! It's part of our dynamic that folks on the outside might not get. But what aches in this moment is how Sasha plants a kiss on his wife's head and she immediately smooths her hair back.

Sasha is something she needs to smooth away, in that moment. He displaced something in her that she needs to get back into place.

And I think the weight of expectation and perfection is heavy on Esther. I think that, more than anything, is what locks her into her Season 1 base personality.

Everyone starts somewhere and needs room to grow, and not everyone is going to grow at the same rate through the course of a season.

Joanne is our proxy in the world and she has the most growth to do as a person throughout the season. Noah is pretty static through season 1 besides the huge leap in the finale. Sasha and Morgan both have subtle growth. For Esther, I think we've planted the seeds of growth that can be explored more in Season 2.

But we all start somewhere. And Esther obviously still craves the approval of her mother-in-law, wants to have the perfect little life and family, and has that "good life" Noah's dad told him he could have if he married Rebecca.

I feel like Sasha and Esther have been "comfortable", but I really think she'd be happier with Rebecca. Oh, yes, I went there. Headcannon achived!

"Looks like you're on your way to the shvitz." "You know I hate the shvitz."

It's the only time I really see him look angry in this whole show. He is going to do what she says, because he always does what she says, but he doesn't want to.

And, yes, this leads to him getting the promotion. He stood up for himself, and that was good, and that was Esther pushing him.

I don't want it to ever seem like I am hating on Esther. I simply don't think they're a great match and that they want different things. But she does have her moments.

*Dipping in the water*

I just find it interesting that the episode where Sasha has to get into a pool he doesn't want to has Morgan dipping her toes into another.

It may mean absolutely nothing, but it's a television show and I'm going to dissect it all because this is how a gal who works alone from home every day and barely gets to have fun keeps from going mad.

*phone beep*

Joanne stops the recording and runs off to pee as Morgan's phone dings. She picks it up to see a message from Sasha: "Loser sibling alert."

She coughs out a short laugh as she responds, "Once again, I am not the loser sibling."

In seconds, the response comes in, "Me neither, cus I got a fuckin promotion"

A smile flutters across her lips as she rolls her eyes slightly. But then she leans forward, chuckling to herself.

And, oh shit, we are headed into dangerous territory. Remember, Bina had a key to her son's apartment for emergencies only. We can say that Sasha and Morgan exchanged numbers for completely practical, non-romantic reasons.

But this is a life update. This is something exciting for Sasha, and he wants to make sure Morgan knows about it. Morgan.

Obviously, Esther will know, as she's the one who pushed him to ask for more by shoving him toward his father. But Sasha wants Morgan to know about his life.

In the moment, he probably thinks it will encourage her as much as it excites him—that the loser siblings can still do well and accomplish things. But this opens a door that probably should've stayed shut.

We don't know if they've been texting before this. We're not privy to that part of their lives because then the show would be 24 hours long and a long succession of bathroom breaks.

But we know that when he texts her, her fingers hesitate over the screen as she considers how to respond. A dozen expressions flash across her face before she leans forward, leaning into this thing, with a smile.

And, at this point, neither of them are thinking anything romantic. But Morgan is well aware that this is outside her norm, even if it's not outside his. She doesn't usually text with married men.

Hell, since she finds most of her dates on apps, she likely isn't texting with unmarried men, either!

And I find it interesting that we started the episode with Morgan in hookup world and end it with genuine connection.

Look, no judgment, here! But themes like that are rarely accidental. Maybe since her husband she hasn't been looking for something that serious. We don't really know. We still have a lot to learn about Morgan.

But we're learning that she does like connection.

"Did you know that tall people die earlier than everybody else? So, enjoy me while I last."

I want to point this out because on the surface this definitely feels flirty. But, he is saying it to his brother's girlfriend, who he has no intention of ever trying anything with.

Sasha is just a little flirty. He's one of those guys.

And, look, being around theater people my whole life, I know these people! They don't mean anything by it, and Joanne clearly knows that. I think it adds a lens to how we view Morgan and Sasha because if he does come off flirty with her, it's likely unintentional.

"Hey, we're gonna head out for some victory drinks. You wanna go?"

He directs this to Joanne. Again, he is just that flirty, friendly, wants everyone to have a good time guy. He always sees everything as an open invitation to others, so I can see why he tends to read everything as an open invitation to himself.

Now, is that a bit problematic at times? Of course. The basis of his early interactions with Morgan is unease because he invites himself along on a date.

But part of Sasha's makeup is his openness.

"Wait... I have something insane to tell you."

Joanne's called Morgan to talk about the WAGs and her failure to connect, but even in the midst of her sister's spiral, Morgan needs to get something off of her chest.

And she has to tell her sister because she really can't tell anyone else.

"Wait. Wait. Are you ready to hear the insane thing I have to tell you? Okay, so, this is very weird and, um, kind of confusing, but I had a sex dream about the brother."

This is unfathomable. Morgan was so repulsed by him when they first met, and though she's warmed up to him, he is so not her type.

For a gal who is accustomed to more physical-based relationships, it's completely throwing her for a loop that she's having a sex dream about a guy she's never touched, and under normal circumstances wouldn't even consider touching.

She can't even say his name. In episode two when she texted Joanne in the car, she called him "the brother" and we know from the podcast where they nickname Noah "the prophet" that these kind of code names are normal for them.

But Joanne can say it.

"You had a sex dream about Sasha?"

She's incredulous. Now, sex dreams are not always indicative of anything at all. Let's be real. Some sex dreams are just dreams that are completely meaningless.

But this is a television series. Rarely is a sex dream meaningless.

Now, in the moment, Joanne is going to dismiss this and move on. She's more excited about how uncomfortable her sister is and doing that sisterly thing of delighting in Morgan's pain.

But depending on how they take the Loser Siblings dynamic down the line, Joanne is so gonna remember this moment.

"Yes. Yes. It's gross, right?"

She wants so badly for Joanne to tell her that. She wants to know that this is one of those completely meaningless sex dreams that she can just write off and never think about, again. But Joanne is speechless.

"Like, I don't get it. I'm not even attracted to him."

This one makes me chuckle. Because, I'm a demisexual with a hard ace lean. So, feeling sexual attraction for me is just not a real thing. I can feel romantic attraction and understand the appeal of sexual attraction.

But I wonder if Morgan is used to letting her sexual attraction lead her and doesn't realize that she actually has an emotional attraction to this guy.

I mean, just look at the way she was so soft with him in the laptop scene. He complimented her and she absorbed every one. But he also helped her, and offered her even more help, and she let him help her. They bonded.

I wonder if she's ever bonded with a guy emotionally before sleeping with them, before. And, no judgment! But I think that could be part of her block when it comes to understanding why she might be dreaming about "the brother" that way.

When Joanne doesn't say what she needs to hear, "Oh, that's weird. That's gross. So stupid!" she bounces off the call. She doesn't want to hear anything other than that because she can not be into "the brother".

"Oh, hi boys. Nice costumes."

Morgan looks to Sasha as she finishes the line, coughing a laugh. And, let's be honest, his neon yellow is a bit garish, but totally on brand for a character that constantly wears loud clothes to go for that.

Also, it makes sense that Morgan is trying to distance herself from thinking about him sexually by searing the image of him in that outfit in her brain.

And, oh! The. Framing. The framing! When they first cut back to the guys, it's the wide shot of everyone. But after the second half of the above quote, it's centered and focused on Sasha. Sasha is the one the camera focuses on as he looks at her.

Once he passes the ball off, he goes to greet her. Now, he's definitely standing a little too close. But they've connected and he feels less need to keep distance between them. I don't even think he realizes he's doing it.

He truly doesn't see anything but friendship in this relationship, and I'm not even sure he sees that at this point considering their conversation later in the episode. He's just not thinking it.

Morgan, though, fresh off a sex dream about him is very aware of how close he is to her.

It's not that she plans to do anything about that dream. But it's right there and he's right there, and that's a little too much Sasha near Morgan at this particular moment. She needs to purge the dream from her system, and having him so close does not make it easy.

"There he is."

One thing that really stood out to me on rewatch was how all the WAGs greeted their significant others. Drunk Joanne leapt into Noah's arms, of course. But if you look in the background, all the other WAGs embrace their significant others.

All except... Esther.

She doesn't even TOUCH him when she approaches him, and he doesn't seek it. He does seek emotional connection, though.

He asks if she wants to go out with him to eat spicy food (to take advantage of the fact that he is already sweating), but she turns him down to go be with Rebecca.

To note, this is at least the second time he has tried to connect with her (last time for a make-up sex night, this time just to go out together) and she has pushed him aside for Rebecca.

And this pushes him toward Morgan.

Think about it. If he'd left right then with his wife, they wouldn't have even seen Morgan loitering around looking for a ride. In a different type of show, this would've been the last time any of them saw Morgan alive. Yes, I know my mind's a little dark.

Instead, Sasha is shuffling alone when he runs into a super intoxicated Morgan who is still a little jumpy about him being too close to her.

"See. I'm telling you. We're the loser siblings. Think they'd forget about you if you were the winner sibling?" "Just stop with that."

And here he is looking for connection, again. And, at first, Morgan rebuffs him. She's still rejecting the Loser Sibling label, which is, to a degree, rejecting Sasha. It's not vindictive or cruel. She simply isn't looking for connection the way he is.

He longs for connection. She needs it more than she knows. That's why their combination is so damn dangerous.

In her, he finds someone who laughs (sometimes with him, sometimes at him), who lets him help and doesn't make him feel like a loser while he does.

In him, she finds a guy who doesn't expect anything of her. He offers of himself with no expectation of return. In that selflessness, she recognizes a softness in him that brings out a softness in her.

Neither of them is looking for love. Neither of them is looking for an affair. What they are both truly in want of is connection. Yes, they have their siblings, but in each other they find someone who truly gets it.

And I feel like some dialogue got cut here. It reads just fine the way it's edited together, but I'm wondering if the Uber would take a half hour or something. That seems like something Morgan would comment on while looking at her phone.

I just feel like a little something's been cut and I could be way off, but it throws me every time I watch the scene. Like, it actually pulls me out.

But, let's be real, most folks watching this aren't people who grew up on film sets, was an actress, the daughter of a makeup artist, and a film minor in college with two degrees in communications. I have no idea how to watch something normally.

I ruined one of Matt's favorite scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark the first time we watched it together. I still feel bad about that one.

"Well, I'll give you a ride." "Why?"

And this is another clue that makes me think Morgan has never gone the "Friends to lovers" route with a guy. She absolutely expects him to want something from her. She doesn't expect him to do this because it's a nice thing to do.

I mean, note how she looks to his lips before meeting his eyes. She full on understands a world of sexual favors and unspoken expectations. But Sasha truly has none. He honestly just wants to help.

At every turn, he wants to help her. He helped her with getting into his brother's place to get the laptop. He helped her with the hostage negotiator tip. He's helping her by giving her a ride.

He truly likes to help. He just knows that those closest to him always expect him to be a screw up. With Morgan, he gets to be the hero. And I don't think he even fully realizes it, yet.

She crosses her arms over her chest as she waits for his response—a defensive move. And, honestly, I love every choice Ms. Lupe makes in this whole sequence because we can see Morgan's discomfort and distrust.

She's wrestling with wanting to believe he's being honest and selfless, but she just can't trust it.

"Because it's a nice thing to do and you need one."

That's it. It's as simple as that. It's the nice thing to do. Morgan uncrosses her arms (off camera, but it happens) as she accepts the ride.

"So, just so you know, we're gonna listen to my music, and I've been in a, like, Kris Kross phase."

The only reason I left this in is because once we get to the scene of them pulling up to the house... there is no music. My bet is that once they got into the car they started talking and just never stopped.

Also, once they pull up, he's wearing a hooded sweatshirt over his basketball clothes (yes, I know this is the real world and likely the actor isn't actually wearing all that underneath, but let's just go with the story here, people).

Note the biggest detail—he's no longer sweaty. He invited Esther out for spicy food "because he was already sweating". When he offered to give Morgan the ride, he didn't just take a detour on his plans—he changed them entirely.

Because it was never about the spicy food. It was about that want for connection. Sasha wanted to go out with his wife, but she had other plans.

So, instead of sitting across from Esther at a table eating spicy food and connecting, he's sitting next to Morgan in the car... connecting.

*Morgan laughs* "So dumb." "It's pretty dumb. Thank you, though. Thank you for laughing."

This. Is. Important. Look at how they are just laughing and relaxing together. I know we have no idea what they are talking about, but we don't need to. Those two lines are about the vibes of the Loser Siblings dynamic.

They are relaxed around one another. Where he once really annoyed her, now he makes her laugh. And he gets pleasure out of making her laugh. He laughs with her because it is so nice just to laugh with someone.

And maybe I'm biased, but that is one of my favorite things in a relationship—laughing together. Matthew and I have been through a lot in our 17 years of marriage (oh, gosh, has it been that long!?). But laughter is our biggest point of connection.

That and being positively ridiculous together. What other couple do you know who works the Swedish Chef into their goodnights?

"Haven't you ever had, like, a guy friend give you a ride home?"

And, while Sasha is trying really hard not to see anything weird about his and Morgan's dynamic, he's basically confirming my suspicions. Morgan doesn't do "guy friends". She just doesn't have that mode. And this is all new for her.

"But we're friends."

His reaction to this is so telling. He just realized that the only girl friend he has in his life is the woman he married who ran off all his other women friends.

My mom once dated a guy for three years. They ended amicably and stayed friends. Welp, once he married, his new wife made him mail my mother every photo of them.

Like, she couldn't just toss them, but had to go through the extra knife in the chest of sending them back to the ex, including all the pictures of me and my brother with him. So, I know these types of women.

And Sasha wants to be friends with Morgan (because what else can he be, right?), but he's sort of realizing that in being her friend and putting that label on it, he's risking Esther finding out and shutting it down.

For me, this is when it gets fuzzy for him. Morgan is already sex dreaming about him and giggling to herself about his text messages. Sasha's a little more oblivious in an adorable way.

But watch his face as he's considering a friendship with Morgan. This is when it goes from something that snuck up on him to something that he is going to actively keep from his wife. Because he's enjoying this friendship with Morgan.

To be clear, he has zero thoughts at this point of it going any further. He truly wants to be her friend. But some part of him knows this is forbidden territory, even if he isn't technically cheating.

Morgan, however, is relieved to have the "Friend" label out there. Labels are easy and they help her distance and protect herself. So, calling "the brother" her "friend" helps her distance from her subconscious that wants more.

"Well, thank you friend for the ride home." "You're welcome."

He's still mulling over the meaning of what just happened as she gets out of the car, flashing two birds at him as she goes.

"Two stars. Bye!" "Thank you. That's gonna bring up my star rating to two."

Where he runs from Esther or changes the topic with her, he bites back a little at Morgan, and I love that. He isn't running from her bitchy farewell (which is clearly another layer of protection for herself), but instead snarks back. More and more, he can be himself with her.

And it's all happening so gradually that they don't really see it coming.

He probably goes straight home after this, and later Esther will ask about the spicy food he ate, and that will become either the first skirting the topic (say he changed his mind) or outright lie (it was delicious!).

"Babe, I love you. You're my queen, but I have committed to being super hyped on tonight, so even if it feels like a betrayal, you're on your own."

Why include this? Because, once again, he is uncomfortably honest with Esther. But, also, it is one of the very few times we see him choosing anything over her. Here, he has made a commitment to his brother, and he is going to see it through.

Back in Episode 2 we saw him choose his brother over Esther when he lied about "shutting down" the "shiksa thing". Noah said, "Don't tell Esther" and Sasha responded, "I'm not gonna tell Esther". So, we know that these two have kept things from Esther before.

Siblings can be gray areas on those things. I have siblings with varying degrees of closeness (family is complicated, right!?) but there are some things you just keep between you—like spilling an entire gallon of sweet tea on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night when you shouldn't have been making tea in the first place.

We told Mom years later... when she had mellowed... a lot.

But, back to the honesty bit, this is another reason why I think his friendship with Morgan is such a shock to Esther when she finds out later. Sasha keeping things from her that extend to Noah isn't a shock. They're brothers. Brothers have bonds.

But Sasha is a very open person, on the surface. Yes, in episode three he talked behind Esther's back, "Breaking up the family?! What the fuck!? I'm sorry" to Noah. But, Esther doesn't realize that. He is so open and honest with her about so many things that she doesn't think he would keep a secret like that.

Yes, he went out with Morgan in episode two, but he didn't know it when he lied to Esther in the Temple. He was just going to meet the girl his brother was crushing on, so he thought. So, that is still a brother-protecting-brother thing. This moment? Another brother-protecting-brother thing.

These moments make sense to Esther. Her husband of probably 15 years having a secret woman friend? Yeah, nowhere near her radar.

"You know, I wanted to go elastic, but Esther wouldn't let me." "Honey, your sweats are gross."

This reminds me of the Rebecca and Noah first scene where she wanted plates and he wanted to just eat out of the container. And, of course, life has those little moments of disagreement.

But this is a television show. Almost everything has meaning.

Likely, Sasha is just saying it because he's sweet and wants to show solidarity. But, we also know that he does like to wear his sweats. We see him wearing several different hooded sweat shirts at Noah's. He wears the sweatshirt in the car with Morgan. He wears sweats when he's home alone on the couch. He's comfortable in Sweats.

What Esther is saying here is that Sweats in general are gross. There's no clarification about whether or not they're clean—it's just another thing Sasha likes and feels comfortable in that is a no-go for Esther.

"Hey, what's up?"

Sasha is sneaking into a freakin' bathroom to have a conversation with Morgan. This dude is not stupid.

I've seen some people say, "Oh, yeah, Sasha is totally clueless", and while I think he is to a degree during the season, by this point he knows he is is actively making a choice to hide Morgan from Esther.

So, yeah, I think he is fully aware that lines are getting blurred, here, but since he has zero intention of going physical and doesn't seem to understand an emotional affair anymore than Morgan, he thinks he is in the clear as long as he's not found out.

But what also sticks out is his face. Looking for Esther, he's nervous. But as soon as he sees Morgan's face, his brightens. He has no idea why she's calling, but he's happy to see her.

And can we talk about the fact that this is built into the episode description?! "Morgan asks Sasha for a favor".

There are only two episodes where these two make the description, and both of them are moments that move their relationship forward—in episode 5 when they bond over sibling dynamics, and here, when she calls him for the first time.

"I just haven't told Esther that we're friends, yet."

Because everyone involved knows this is over when you do. Yes, Morgan and Sasha have been living in this little, private bubble where nobody knew about their friendship but them.

Morgan didn't even tell Joanne. Sasha didn't even tell Noah.

Their best friends in the world—who also happen to be their siblings—have no idea that they are texting and chatting and becoming friends.

Morgan told Joanne about the sex dream, sure, but that's because she wanted validation that it was an anomaly and weird. She never said she was also texting with this guy.

I mean, hello, how much more cheating-coded can it be without them laying a finger on one another?!

"If I tell you something I need you to swear on your life you're never going to repeat it to anyone. Okay? Not Noah. Not Esther. Nobody." "100%. I just need to let you know I've never actually successfully kept a secret before. So, keep that in mind before you tell me."

He's protecting her. He's being honest with her. He doesn't want to let her down.

Yes, he annoyed the shit out of her the first time they met. But since then, he has a good track record of being helpful. He helped her with the laptop, with the mirroring, with the ride home.

And we know from the Season Finale that before this phone call he tipped her off to the best tacos in LA. He helped her, again!

But this is something he knows he could fuck up. And he's worried he'll fuck it up. And he wants her to know upfront that he might fuck it up.

But Morgan decides to trust him anyway.

"So, I ran into Rebecca last week." "Oh, okay, that is juicy."

Think about this objectively. Rebecca is his wife's best friend. He knows Rebecca. He knew Rebecca as his brother's girlfriend for three years.

He's probably known Rebecca forever, and yet he's about to take on this task for Morgan to help her.

Again, these two haven't laid a finger on each other, but this is where Sasha knows he's in the grey area (even if he wants to pretend he's not) and is in a position to continually choose Morgan over the other people in his life.

But, we'll get back to that.

"He tells me everything. I'm like his Rabbi."

Listen to that little bit of pride in his voice! But as he's talking to his friend who he has not told his brother about, he waivers on his certainty.

"Although, wait, what if he's hiding that from me?"

Because, my friend, you are certainly hiding something involving a girl from him.

"Yeah, I don't know, but you need to get to the bottom of it, okay? And just let me know what you find out."

There's something so casual about this, but it's another step in their relationship they probably don't realize they're making. Morgan is asking for help.

Think about it. When Sasha let Morgan into Noah's place, that was because Noah texted him asking for help. The mirroring tip was just something Sasha freely gave. Then, Sasha offered her the ride.

I've mentioned a few times that I think Morgan is well-acquainted with transactional relationships. But her relationship with Sasha is different. He doesn't ask for anything in return.

Still, she hasn't asked him for anything—until now. This is the first time she actively asks him for something. And he really doesn't want to fuck it up.

"I'm sorry. Why would I mention your name? "I don't know. It's just, you said it and it felt like I should say it back." "Okay. Bye. Thanks, weirdo."

Again, he misspoke. And she called him out on it. But she isn't upset. She understands this is one of his quirks. But, also, she still isn't calling him by name.

Names are special. I mean, X-Files knew it or they wouldn't have been specific and intentional about when Mulder and Scully called one another by their first names.

And while she also once calls her sister "weirdo" (see next episode) the "weird" label is definitely one she associates with her and Sasha. It is weird. There's no denying it from her point of view! But she doesn't want to stop it. And neither does he.

Again, neither of them see this as an affair. Neither of them see this as cheating. But they both are also aware that this is outside the norm.

But, then, how do you define it? Do they realize they're crossing these lines? It's so hard to say.

One thing's for sure—Sasha is no fool. Not only does he flush the toilet, but he runs the water after. He might be a bit of a buffoon, but he isn't an idiot.

He knows he shouldn't be talking to Morgan like this. He knows Esther would shut it down if she knew. But he isn't in it for sex or romance—he yearns for connection. And he's finding it where he shouldn't.

"I didn't hear it in a real sense of hearing..."

I'm not putting the whole thing, but you know the scene. When he tries to surreptitiously ask Esther about the whole Rebecca thing.

In the moment, it's read as Sasha just being Sasha—a little weird. But later, Esther is going to look back on this interaction and realize he "heard" it from the tall sister.

"Babe, you know what's actually really funny? Okay. Rebecca saw the dumb sister, pretending not to know who she was, then told her just like a bunch of lies about her and Noah just to fuck with her. It's amazing." "My God, women are scary."

So much to break down. First off, Esther calling Morgan, "the dumb sister". That's gotta sting for Sasha because he knows what it's like to be the Loser Sibling and have everyone expect less of you. He and Morgan share that, so there's a ping of sympathy for Morgan.

Then, he sees his wife's absolute glee at this fuckery. Like, I get that you don't like that life didn't go the way you perfectly planned it, but what the fuck, lady!?

"You need to promise me you are not gonna repeat that." "Yeah. No, no, no. Of course not. That's just, like, really juicy information that people would kill for and I'm just not gonna do anything with it or tell anybody."

Watch his face when she leaves. He was asked by Morgan to dig into this. She swore him to secrecy. Now, he has the answer, but his wife has sworn him to secrecy.

And in this moment, he chooses Esther. He does! He makes the choice to say nothing to Morgan because his wife swore him to secrecy.

Note how he doesn't warn her that he can't keep a secret. He just tells her he'll keep it, and then wrestles with it—because now he has failed Morgan.

To keep his wife's secret, he failed to help Morgan. Honestly, either way he chooses, he loses in some way.

"Text your sister. See if she'll come to dinner with us." "No." "Come on. I hate that you're in a fight."

That gets Sasha's attention. He literally backs up to join the conversation and Noah's head swivels up to him like, "What the hell?"

But Sasha being Sasha has its advantages, and this is one of those moments. Neither of them question why he wants to nose into their business. It's just Sasha being Sasha, right?

"What are you guys fighting about?" "Nothing. She's just a lying bitch who's trying to get in between me and my bubbeleh."

That same pained expression that crossed his face when he learned the truth briefly flashes across his features. He didn't know why Morgan was asking him for the information before, but now he knows that Rebecca's lies are actively doing damage.

"How do you know Morgan's lying?"

That's the first time I recall him saying her name.

See, Sasha distances the same way that Morgan does—with nicknames or placeholders. It's one of those places where they're alike and don't even realize it.

Names have intimacy attached to them. And though he doesn't realize it, he's crossed into a form of intimacy with Morgan.

They have their own inside jokes, memories, and now secrets. Those little things are what builds the strands of connection and strengthen them.

"If you knew the situation, you would get it."

And the crazy thing is that he knows more than either Noah or Joanne about it. Hell, he knows more than Morgan at this point.

"Okay. Well, I don't."

Because... what can he say? To any of them? He chose Esther, and that's the end of it.

"What does Morgan think about all this? I mean, is she cool with Joanne tribing up?" "I don't know, man. They're still fighting."

It's been days. At least days. Sasha has been sitting on this information, and now he knows that the sisters are still fighting.

And much as he chose Esther in the moment, that resolve is wearing thin. Because this isn't some little tiff.

He knows that Morgan ran into Rebecca a week before she called him. He knows they were fighting when Joanne came for lunch. They're still fighting.

And much as he wouldn't admit that he cares about Morgan, he does. He cares. Someone he cares about is being hurt—and he can help stop that hurt.

Sasha tries to unload his burdens with his brother, to tell him the truth. But Noah rebuffs the older sibling not even knowing what he's rejecting.

And, look, no judgment on Noah for not engaging in gossip (though he totally did with Joanne's friends about Amanda). Gossip is frickin' dangerous.

But secrets between the brothers are not new. We've seen it time and time, again. These two talk, and it's pretty assured that Esther would forgive Sasha for telling Noah if she ever figured it out because Sasha could redirect her ire to his brother.

Sasha could have told him everything and then let him tell Joanne and let her tell Morgan. That way, he wouldn't be directly betraying his wife. But, it doesn't work out that way.

And, again, Sasha is pushed toward Morgan.

He needs to talk, and there are only a few people in this world he talks to. I mean really talks to. Yes, he plays basketball with "the guys", but when it comes to hanging out, it's really only with his little brother. He talks to his wife, but that's its own thing.

But the only way to get rid of this burden is to tell Morgan. So, he does it. He makes the active choice to call her and break Esther's trust.

"Care to tell me why Sasha's calling you? ... Morgan, what did you do!?"

What does she think her sister did!? Like, last Joanne knew her sister was having sex dreams about her boyfriend's brother, but that was ages back and she has no idea that they are friends.

Like, I've thought it through a lot and I'm not exactly sure what Joanne thinks her sister did, here. And it does play into that "Morgan always fucks it up and I have to fix it" mentality that Joanne has about her sister.

But, do you know what is super fun? Watching Joanne's expressions during the phone call. When Morgan picks up, she's waiting for the shoe to drop—for something to be wrong.

"Hi, Sasha. Why are you calling? We barely know each other."

Babe, who do you think you are fooling with that bullshit? Anyway...

"Okay, look, I have something to tell you-"

Inserting my own break here just for Joanne's face. Look how she pulls her head back. Girlfriend is concerned about what is about to come out of that phone.

"I'm not used to keeping secrets, but I need some sweet release from these chains." "Alright, well, now is not a good time, so-"

Honey, what do you think he was going to say? Because, clearly you were trying to protect him from your sister. Maybe trying to protect yourself, too!

Like, she doesn't know what the secret is. But in that moment, she actually tried to choose Sasha over Joanne. It's a brief thing. It's barely there. But, she was trying to protect Sasha no matter what the secret was.

Those little things keep adding up... keep strengthening their bond.

"Rebecca lied. You were compromised the entire time. She knew who you were and she just wanted to mess with Noah and Joanne. Nothing she said was true."

Morgan's posture completely changes when she knows what the secret is, and Joanne has her light bulb moment as she gets to hear from someone else's mouth that her sister was telling the truth.

And, can we talk for a second here about how it had to be the Loser Siblings rescuing themselves, here? Sasha tried to tell Noah and get him to be the savior. Joanne wouldn't listen to Morgan. But Sasha really saves the day.

"Oh my God, that felt so good."

Alright, there, Sasha. Keep it in your pants.

"Look, I gotta go. Don't tell Esther I told you."

He gets that sweet release he needs, so now there's another endorphin response associated with Morgan subconsciously. And he made the choice of Morgan over Esther.

Yup. In the immortal words of Whoopi Goldberg: "Girl. You in danger."

Also, can we please talk about the timing of all this?! He is at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah! The ceremony probably just wrapped up and they are headed to the reception.

No doubt, Sasha sees his brother despondent because his girlfriend didn't show. He knows that Morgan and Joanne are still fighting. And he's powerless to do anything about his daughter's ridiculous Bat Mitzvah theme that is universally hated.

He doesn't know that making that call will bring Joanne to the party. He doesn't know he is also helping his brother out when he makes that call. But he knows it will help Morgan.

So he steals a moment between the ceremony and the reception to call her.

He rushes through the truth, partially because he wants to get it off his chest, but partially because he is pushing his luck making this phone call at all. He is with his entire family and can't risk anyone catching him.

This is another place where we see his thought process on display—he doesn't video call. It's audio only, and he doesn't use her name. Our boy is not stupid and not clueless.

And then he tells Morgan not to tell Esther he told her.

Now, Morgan and he have another secret from Esther, but this time Joanne bore witness. So, any worries she might've had about Sasha and Morgan having an active affair were put to bed (heh), but she definitely still thinks it's weird the two are talking.

"Why does Sasha have your phone number?" "We can circle back to that."

Because it's complicated. Again, I think the simple answer: "We exchanged phone numbers when you were boinking your boyfriend and blowing off business" is likely the complete factual answer.

But Morgan is still on full-on avoidance when it comes to her feelings for Sasha, whatever they are. And she doesn't want to talk about Sasha because then she has to think about Sasha.

And then she just might have to be honest with herself about Sasha.

Morgan is still going on dates. Sasha is still with his wife. Again, they don't think they've crossed any lines, here. But all it takes is one outsider looking in to burst that bubble.

Where before Morgan wanted Joanne to break a Sasha bubble, now she doesn't want that. Because what she has with Sasha is different than anything she's ever had with anyone else—whatever it is.

"Okay, so the real question is, is this bitch Rebecca really trying to break you guys up?" "Yeah. Everyone is. And they're all together at a Bat Mitzvah." "Then what the fuck are we doing here?"

And this is Morgan at her best. We've seen her at her worst—sniping and battling her sister, getting in her head about Noah. But this? This is Morgan at her best.

When Joanne is drowning with the WAGs, Morgan shows up. When Joanne needed rescues from bad dates, Morgan shows up. When Joanne second guesses staying outside the Temple, Morgan shows up. Even though Morgan was so frustrated with Sasha that first hang, she still plays her part to be her sister's wingwoman.

Morgan talks a lot of shit. Morgan can totally get it wrong. But when it matters—Morgan shows up.

In Episode 1 Joanne told Noah that Morgan was her best friend and worst enemy (to which he responded he had one of those in Sasha). Now, we see it on full display.

"I hate this dress."

Miriam tumbles in the dress she hates so much, and Esther is right there to help. She really is a good mom, trying to help her daughter through an embarrassing moment.

As she whisks her daughter away, who's there to drop to one knee and take care of the apples? It's Sasha. And he waves everyone else off, taking full responsibility for the tumbled fruit—because Sasha likes to help.

Then, his world gets rocked a little.

This whole sequence is about the Loser Siblings. Yes, of course, waves are made when the sisters arrive. It's part of the drama of the show that Bina is mad, Rebecca is shocked, and everyone else knows juicy drama when they see it.

But who do we see first as the music shifts? It's Sasha.

He isn't even at the right angle to see them first. He's around the corner from the door. But when they pieced the sequence together, they wanted us to see Sasha's eyes trailing from apples (which could be seen as "forbidden fruit") to the hot ladies walking in the door.

He straightens as his eyes land on them. And if you're paying attention, you can see where this shot of him might have been intended for later as the actor completes the same head movement at the edge of our view in another shot.

They edited it to be Sasha first on purpose. This is intentional. Someone, somewhere, made a call that this sequence would show that little world shift of Sasha and Morgan.

As they enter, Joanne and Morgan offer bitch face to Bina and Rebecca. And can we talk about Rebecca, the ex being with the family? Yes, she is Esther's best friend, but they are all clearly planting their flags on the "Noah is so getting back with Rebecca" plan.

While Joanne's eyes move into the crowd looking for Noah as they pass Bina and Rebecca, Morgan's find Sasha, still kneeling on the ground. And, oh, he is looking back.

She smiles into a small laugh that's just for him before her resting bitch face takes over. And as Joanne and Morgan split to either side of the camera, we're left with Sasha in focus, center frame, clearly watching after Morgan as she goes.

This is romcom framing, folks. This is clearly a moment of, "Holy shit, she's a smokeshow!"

And it's not that he didn't already know it. But in that moment he totally forgets himself and mentally acknowledges that sexy dress and that special smile meant just for him.

Yeah, these two are screwed.

Again, I am not condoning or encouraging infidelity. These are fictional characters who I hope get their shit together in Season 2 and find a way to be together without a cheating trope.

Only the writers know what's in store for next season. I can only comment on what's on the screen, now. And that sequence was intentional.

"I hope it's chill that I crashed. You know, I just, I love a DJ." "The more the merrier! Absolutely. I'm so happy you two made up."

And they look to one another with a smile. But I also note that they don't tell Noah anything about how it all went down. Now, Morgan escapes before there's really time to ask about that, but, looking back later, this could be seen as a time Joanne chose to shelter Morgan and Sasha.

And we know that Joanne doesn't know the full story, but she also knows they aren't sneaking off into the bathroom for a quickie (you know Morgan once led an episode of their podcast entitled "Public Places & Small Spaces").

Still... looking back.. both Morgan and Joanne kept the truth of their reconciliation from Noah... because they were protecting Sasha and Morgan.

"Hello, Joanne. My heavens, you came. And you brought an uninvited guest."

Morgan, I love you clinking those glasses together. Oh my gosh, girl, never change. But Mama Roklov has been warning since Day One about the "sister". Does she suspect something? I doubt it. But she definitely doesn't want her family having any more connections with Joanne's.

Oh, my sweet summer child, what you don't know!

And the dance sequence made me smile. I know there are a lot of character things going on, here, but it also reminded me so much of my wedding.

Wow, have I gotten this deep in without talking about my heritage!? Oy vey! So, my Dad's mother was raised by Catholic nuns in Barcelona, Spain. My mother's mother converted to Judaism when she married my Ukrainian grandfather, before they had my mom.

I was raised in a very weird mix of cultures and traditions. My mother rejected Judaism, so I had to learn everything from my cousins.

My mother also wasn't that supportive of my Spanish heritage from my father, so my adult life has been spent piecing together the pieces of who I am.

But my wedding was full of joy. 250 people of different cultures and backgrounds all conga-lining, doing the hora, and lifting Matthew and I in the air on their shoulders.

I had a lovely moment of remembrance watching the dance sequence in this episode.

There are so many pockets of life from my Jewish side of my family that are so special and unique, and while no media portrayal of a culture is perfect, I've enjoyed this show immensely.

Anyway... back to the show:

"Why are you here?"

There's a tinge of, "You don't belong here" in that. Bitch, why are you here!?

"Your dumb little lie really fucked up my relationship with my sister." "I don't know what you're talking about."

Flames. Flames coming out the side of my head. Yes, I know you're pissed, Rebecca, but you don't give a shit that your lie is impacting someone who has nothing to do with this!?

Listen, sugar, why don't you and your bestie lock yourselves in a closet and make out for a while since you clearly enjoy each other's company more than any of the men's anyway? It would save everyone a lot of heartache and I think make all y'all happier.

"Okay, don't bullshit me. Alright? Sasha told me everything."

No, Morgan, what are you doing!? Okay, technically telling Rebecca is not the same thing as telling Esther, but practically? Girl, the game is up!

No more coasting along for Sasha and Morgan. With Bina and Esther and Rebecca all united, seas are gonna be stormy in Season 2.

"Did you tell Sasha that I lied to the tall sister?"

Rebecca, you just got a small point for being nicer in your chosen descriptor than Esther. "Tall" is a lot less bitchy than "Dumb".

"What did the idiot do?" "He told her!"

Welp, she calls Morgan "Dumb" and Sasha an "Idiot", so maybe she'll come to see them as the perfect match. But, seriously, it was a bitchy thing to do.

Yes, Sasha is still in the wrong by Esther for breaking her confidence. Not glazing over that at all.

Narratively was it the right call? Yes, we needed Morgan and Joanne reconciled in case there wasn't a second season. But as far as his marriage goes, Sasha has definitely stepped outside the lines.

"No. Not possible. He doesn't even know her." "Pretty sure he knows her."

Now, in cannon Esther knows about that first night out where they literally got 20 minutes tops at the bar before she broke it up, and then she saw him greet Morgan at the basketball game. As far as Esther knows, that's it.

She knows nothing else about their dynamic, and now she's going fishing.

"I love Bat Mitzvahs. There's so much free shit! You know?" "Yeah."

Sasha was already facing the bar when she came up, so he's basically gone back to first position on this one. He's facing away from her. But she wants to talk to him.

And it strikes me that if we went a little wider in the shot, Sasha and Morgan are reversed in their positioning from the bar.

He's facing the bar instead of her facing a jukebox, but it's that same positioning. Only this time, she is open to him and waiting for him to open up to her.

"Hey, um, thank you, you know, for finally telling me the truth. My sister was never going to speak to me again."

She touches his arm as she speaks. Now, this isn't a big deal for Morgan. She touches people. She touched Rebecca while they were talking. She touches her sister. She's a tactile person.

But, I noticed it because Esther doesn't touch Sasha a whole lot. He is very used to a relationship without gentle affection. And I wonder what was going through his mind when Morgan touched him.

"That's alright. Happy to help."

Look. At. His. Face. It's blink and you'll miss it, but I can't recall ever seeing Sasha this... soft.

Like, Mr. Simons, I did not know your game!

He smiles a half smile that dimples his cheek. And on the reverse shot, you can tell that Morgan feels that softness because her smile fades as she looks from his eyes to his lips.

She doesn't realize that his wife made him promise not to tell anyone and that he broke that promise. But she knows that something is shifting between them. Even if she can't name it, now that Joanne is aware of their "friendship", she has to really think about it.

Why does he have your number, Morgan? Why is he so comfortable texting you? Why are you still texting him? Why are you calling each other? You know he has to hide in the bathroom, that he is literally hiding you from his wife the way your sister's ex who she was obsessed with and talked about in episode one hid her.

Are you really the one who is only interested in men who are emotionally unavailable?

And she's not quite ready to think about that. But she does have to acknowledge somehow that these blurred lines aren't going unnoticed.

"You know, she thought it was weird that we talk to each other."

And there it is. Morgan wanted Joanne to tell her that the sex dream was gross, and she didn't. But, clearly Joanne did express that it was weird that they talk. And now that it's out there, Morgan can't keep it in any more than Sasha can keep in a secret.

This is when Sasha opens up to face her. They are having a personal conversation, now, about them. Whatever they are... this is their first real discussion about it since they band-aided it with the "friend" label.

"I'm telling you, it's not weird-"

Because he still wants to hold onto the idea that he's on the right side of the line. He still wants to believe that they are in the clear.

Because he would never cross a physical line. It just wouldn't happen. It's not in his makeup. He's loyal and dedicated and willing to stay by Esther's side even if she cheated on him.

But Morgan is self-aware enough now that she's had to think about it to realize that they are toeing some pretty big lines, here. Maybe not in terms of physical affection, but in terms of connection.

"Okay, stop saying that it's not weird when we both know that it kind of is." "Alright, fine."

The bravado instantly fades. He's honest with her. He's open with her.

"It might be a little weird, but I enjoy talking to you. Is that so bad?"

And there he's redrawn the lines. Yes, it's "weird", but we're just talking, right? Talking isn't bad, right? We can talk, right?

A month or so earlier they sat in a car where she waited for him to affirm her label. "Friend". And he did. This time, he's waiting for her to tell him if this is bad or not.

It's not bad, right? Talking?

Except "talking" is the exact verb Morgan used when asking Sasha about Rebecca and Noah. She asked if they were "talking" again before sharing that Rebecca said they were getting back together.

But neither one of them is thinking about that right now. Honestly, they're enjoying the time together more than either would admit, and they lean into it.

"No. No. I'm fun to talk to."

She takes it back to their banter, and he is thoroughly charmed. Look at that smile!

"There we go. A little Stuart level confidence there."

He's smiling so broadly, so sweetly as he lifts his drink to his lips. She fixates on it, asking for a drink, then practically demanding it. He relinquishes it with a smile.

And as he's still smiling at her, she holds eye contact while drinking from his glass.

Freeze frame that shit and this is full romcom. Like, she is looking up at him drinking from his drink while he smiles, nearly in a daze.

And her holding his gaze is intentional. There's a sultry edge to it as they toe this line a little too closely between friendly and flirtatious.

The surprise on Morgan's taste buds shatters the moment.

"Wait, there's no alcohol in that." "Yeah, I told you a hundred times, I'm California sober."

A hundred times. A hundred times?! Just how many text conversations have you two been having!?

The barkeep apparently read her mind (or maybe knew her order from earlier) and passes over something with actual alcohol. Yes, it's television magic, but we're gonna roll with it, okay?!

"Are you high?" "Mmm-hmm" "Can I have some?" "Yes. 100%."

Seriously, if these two do have a future, "100%" is going to be one of those things that comes back as theirs. There are those little phrases or words that seep into the collective comprehension of a couple, and this one would be in the running for them.

But, also, he finally has someone who wants to share in these things with him. Morgan is actively asking to share in this with him. Where before she wanted to kick him out of her car and run across the bar to get away, now she seeks him out.

This scene of them drinking together is such a far cry from their first drink together, at a bar only a few months earlier.

There, she made a face at Sasha sticking a finger in his brother's drink, contaminating it. Here, she actively drinks from his glass.

There, she didn't want to look at him or talk to him. Here, she's the one seeking him out, and they are growing closer by the minute.

This guy she thought she was tolerating for a few minutes at a bar for her sister's sake is now someone she wants in her life, even if she isn't fully sure of the capacity. Like, what are they?

Dipping toes into an emotional affair, absolutely. But where does it go from here? Would they cross those physical lines?

Personally, I see more kiss and retreat than full-blown affair from these two, but I'm not writing the show. I'm just writing this ridiculously long Meta because these actors played these scenes so bloody well and I can't get them outta my head.

As Morgan and Sasha share in a moment, toasting to their future shared high, Esther and Bina look on in dismay. Esther scrolls through the text messages, and I'm going to write them out below (the ones I can read).

Sasha: Ughhh now I want tacos. Sasha: are you gonna go? send pics Morgan: [photo of three tacos] Sasha: Best tacos in LA, right?!?! Morgan: They're amazing! You're right. Sasha: Win for the loser siblings!!! Morgan: lol fine! Win for the loser siblings. Sasha: Have you seen Dune? Morgan: no?? should I Sasha: Are you going to see the sequel? Morgan: I wasn't planning on it. Sasha: Well, if you're gonna watch the sequel you should def see the first one. Morgan: hey, can I call you? Sasha: Yeah, give me two Morgan: Thank you for telling me the truth [heart emoji]

These aren't love notes. But they also aren't the sort of texts you expect a married man to send a single woman.

We see here that he helped her find some great tacos, that she finally embraced their shared "Loser Siblings" label after denying it for so long, that they were talking movies.

And those last few lines are where it escalates. They've been talking... and she sent him a heart emoji.

Emojis have meaning, right? Especially for Morgan. When she sent Joanne her first blush impression of Sasha, she included several unflattering emojis. This time, she sent him a heart.

And that's the last we see of Sasha and Morgan because this isn't their bloody show. And, to be clear, I adore Noah and Joanne. I'm just personally more drawn to what is going on over here.

I don't know if I'm a loser sibling, myself. But I know what it's like to feel like you can do nothing right, that you have to accept the path someone else chose for you, that you have to marry the "right kind of person" (tell you that story of the boyfriend before my husband another time).

Lupe and Simons are knocking it out of the park with their chemistry, comedic timing, and those micro-expressions that make metas like this so much fun.

Again, I'm not a fan of cheating story lines. It's just not my thing. But, I can see several paths forward that don't involve cheating.

Ultimately, I'm just a viewer, like you! I have no control over this wild ride. But, oh, it's a fun one!

Thanks for reading, loves. Can't wait to see what they have in store for Season 2!

[anomaly-hivemind]

More Than Seven Minutes ☆ Eren Jaeger x Reader | Kinktober Day 7

Summary: going out to a friend's house during a party, and somehow ending up playing seven minutes in heaven, and you both definitely go over the timer.

Word Count: 1250

Tags: this is a bit of a crack story, Mutual masturbation, Seven minutes in heaven, Mirrors ,  crack, modern au,

You were sitting in a circle with all your friends, having the average level of fun slightly inebriated adults could have on the weekend.   It was a simple game of spin the bottle, where everyone would be going into the other room to play a round of seven minutes.  We were in the messy and uncoordinated part of the game when people were starting to get distracted or dumb conversations that just couldn’t be funnier.  

It was your turn to spin the bottle, and you grabbed the empty glass and gave it a good spin. The bottle rotates for a few seconds before coming to a stop, you look up at who it landed on when your eyes meet Eren’s. Your heart skips a beat, there’s no backing down, and if you had to pick any one of your friends to play this game with he’d be one of them. You get up and so does he, you can hear your heartbeat thumping in your ears. 

You both walk into the other room together, and Eren closes and locks the door behind him.  You looked around the room. It has a set of full body mirrors as the doors and it gave a full few of the rest of the things in the room.  You take a seat on the bed, it's plush and you have half a mind to lay back on it and try to take a nap. You look over to Eren, who is silently looking down at you. While you stared at him you couldn't help but think about how sexy he was.  

“So what are we gonna do?’ You asked, licking your lips.  

“What do you want to do?” he said in a low tone. 

“You.” you give him a cheeky smile and a faint smirk goes on his lips. 

“Really…”

“Would you let me if I say yes”  

“Maybe you can convince me somehow” He moved to the edge of the bed and looked at you with an amused look on his face.

“I can definitely do that” You jump at the opportunity and start stripping out of your pants and underwear.  Once you were completely naked you shivered, it was a little cool, and the look you were getting from the man in front of you. 

“That's all you got,”  he whispered.

“Of course not, be less impatient”  You parted your legs a bit and your hand traveled down between your legs, you hear your heart beating in your ears, it feels so loud. 

Eren sat beside you on the bed looking at you with that sexy sexy face of his, (it’s his normal face). You felt a little nervous like that. 

“I don’t want to be the only one without clothes on.” You said. He took off his shirt. And you had to stop yourself from drooling over his delicious chesticles.

“Insert Sigma Eren dialogue,” he said as he leaned forward his lips meeting yours. Adrenaline coursed through your body as your lips collided. You were actually kissing Eren right now. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his body. 

Your tongues writhed and twisted around each other with passionate fervor. Kissing was nice but it left you wanting more, it left you hot pulsing down below. Your hands traveled down to your mound and you moaned into Eren's mouth when your fingers met your sensitive bud. Eren pulled away and looked down at where you were touching yourself. 

“(He calls you a bitch or something), hehe nonchalant dread-head Eren, oi oi baaaka” Eren said as he took your hand and pressed it against his constrained cock in his jeans.

You blushed (and whether you’re of darker skin or not everyone blushes, I didn’t say whether you could see it or not) but the fact that you were touching Erens meat at all made you even more hot and bothered. 

Your fingers sped up as you played with your gender-neutral hole. Gooey whet whet was gooey whet whetting. You sound like a fresh pot of macaroni and cheese. Your fingers plunged in, thrusting in and out making the room sound like the beginning of an out-of-pocket yaoi manga. Eren liked what he was seeing and heard, patting his cock through his pants. When you looked Eren had unzipped his pants and shuffled them off enough so he could take his intromminent organ out. 

He slowly starts to stroke himself and lets out a manly moan. You feel like you should help him, and you would if your fingers weren't occupied. You stared at his pretty cock wishing you could spawn a few donuts to stack in him.  Maybe knit a sweater,  even tie a bow on it if you have them.  You watch him speed up his strokes and you try to thrust your fingers to match his movements.  You wished he’d fuck you right in front of the set of mirrors. 

You glanced over to them, damn you look like a whore, you thought to yourself. You watched as Eren moved between your legs. You smiled at him, a needy look on your face.  Maybe he could hear your thoughts and was going to deliver.

“Don't get your hopes up I'm not going to fuck you” Eren’s voice whispered harshly. 

“Well you couldn’t get this they/themussy anyways,” You said, turning up your nose in fake disdain.

“What the fuck is wrong with you”  he hissed as he was getting closer to cumming, he had moved to a position that would make a mess of you when he shoots his load. And what a waste it would be for not being in you somehow. 

“Arfa!” Eren gave you an incredulous look.

“I didn’t know what to say, okay! Damn fight me if you don't plan to fuck me” You said. You don't really know what Eren said in reply, you just know it was something nonchalant. 

You felt like you were going to hit an award-winning orgasm,  and you could tell he was as well.

“Oh, Eren! Talk through it~ ” you whined pathetically and waited. 

Eren does in fact not  talk you through it, he starts to sing a song, specifically At a Medium Pace by Adam Sandler, but it was good enough for you and your legs quiver and shake as you’re hit by a nuclear bomb of pleasure, i.e you came real hard, hard like Eren’s erection.

Speaking of Eren and his pogo stick,  he was also about to have an erection yeah this whole time he’s been soft. Lmao jk that's supposed to be an eruption. You’re so sexxi I promise your unclothed body made him rigid.

“ugHhh gonna shoot my goo, all over you” his cock throbs as he gets ready to paint you with his liquid goodness.  Which is when you let yourself metaphorically turn into a starfish and wait to cover you in his sticky nectar.   Ropes or warm sums splattered on your body.

You took his shirt and swiped up his splooge. Gotta keep yourself clean.

“What the fuck!” Eren swiped his shirt from your hand, now with the very odd placement of the white stain right in the middle of the shirt with a slight trail going up to his collar.  You shrugged and put your clothes back on.

“Welp maybe you wouldn’t have had to worry about it if you had come somewhere else, maybe you need more than seven minutes,” You said leaving out the door.

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Kralsei is Doomed (and that's why I love it)

To me, Kralsei is a commentary on the idea of being in love with the idea of being in love - that is to say, being enthralled with the anticipation of courtship and falling in love, without really taking into consideration how the ensuing relationship would... actually work.

The depth of longing that is evident in Ralsei towards Kris is indeed intoxicating, and as I've mentioned previously, the game itself seems to push this pairing in the way that certain events are made to happen - most notably the acid tunnel of love running parallel to Noelle and Susie's heart-covered ferris-wheel ride. And add to that the whole nature of dark worlds as synonymous with dreams, fantasy and imagination. From a narrative perspective, the relationship seems almost destined to occur.

But I think Ralsei might find himself a bit adrift if and/or when he actually succeeds in wooing Kris... or the player, or whoever is predominantly in charge by that point. Like a dog chasing a car, I'm not certain he'd know quite what to do if he got what he was after, because at that point it stops being a flight of fancy and becomes real... which is very much the domain of the light world, and outside the darkness's purview.

And when getting swept up in the thrill of romance stories, it's easy to forget that the "struggle" does not end just because the couple share a tender kiss or whatever. Reality can, and often does, quickly ensue, and questions of long-term compatibility in the face of waning desire can spell doom for any relationship, no matter how "destined" it might seem in the run up to it.

This does not even take into consideration the biggest obstacle to this relationship - to exist in a form that we as players might recognise as reciprocal, it'd have to either be entirely confined to the dark world, or there'd have to be some way to bend the rules of Deltarune's reality to allow Ralsei to manifest in the light world, which... presents entirely new problems, not least because of the whole "Roaring" shindig.

Indeed, the more likely scenario, aside from the whole thing fizzling out or otherwise coming to an unfortunate end, is that Kris begins wearing the horned headband that is supposed to represent Ralsei, which as romantic a gesture as that might be, does not exactly live up to the promise that the pairing hints at... although in a strange way, such an outcome might end up strengthening the fantasy element of Kralsei, as a nascent relationship brought to a tragic end by the unflinching and immutable rules of light and dark. Such relationship never has to be actually tested by reality, which allows it to exist in a sort of crystalised state, a seemingly-perfect snapshot of a love that can perpetually exist in an idealised form.

It might be worth watching in future chapters to see how Kris and Ralsei's friendship develops, as it might give hints as to how Deltarune itself might end. Should the above come to pass, and the two come together only to be tragically wrenched apart by outside forces, it will suggest that the dark worlds will not be completely closed off, as the fantasy of Kralsei will be allowed to persist unchallenged by reality. If, however, they drift apart, or decide to remain friends only, or perhaps even if they break up mid-game, it would allow for a cleaner break between light and dark, suggesting some sort of sundering of the bridge between the two.

This, of course, sidelines any other interpretations of their relationship, such as an extended metaphor for self-love and acceptance, or of a coming-to-terms with the past, though I don't see that these can't co-exist alongside the above.

One final note: much of my focus has been on Ralsei rather than Kris, and there are grounds to argue that Kris does not wish, nor will they ever wish, to pursue a relationship with Ralsei. However, the fantasy of Kralsei's potential that exists both in Ralsei's head, and in players receptive to the game's suggestions, almost renders Kris's feelings and opinions on the subject moot. In other words: the reality of what Kris might want, even if that DOES end up wanting to be with Ralsei, is supplanted by the fantasy of their potential thrilling romance story.

In this, the core themes of Deltarune are again reinforced - Kris's choices do not matter, even if their choice would align with the fantasy-romance being suggested. This is not to suggest that I do not care what happens to Kris, but it does highlight that there is a narrative reason for Kralsei, or at least the idea of Kralsei, to exist in the game, and lends further weight to the idea that it is ultimately doomed to failure, regardless of the wishes of its participants.

[niceandaccurategoodomensanalysis]

(collage of a detail from The Creation of Adam and an artwork from @yaoyoroz-oops)

Using the hands as a narrative device to tell a love story

A first reflection on the hands used to represent loving relationships in the second series of Good Omens.

Here I would like to focus only on one of the couples in the series, that formed by Gabriel and Beelzebub, because the topic is really very broad and the two of them are an excellent example of the use of hands to portray the evolution of a love story.

In particular, with this couple we see 3 phases, represented by 3 distinct moments.

For the sake of convenience, I will use the feminine for Beelzebub and the masculine for Gabriel, although both are two entities of indefinite gender.

STEP 1 - THE IDYLL

Of all the interactions between Beelzebub and Gabriel, one particular gesture stands out: the moment when Beelzebub gives him a fly.

We all have this scene in our minds: she and he are sitting side by side; she approaches him in a complicit way and tells him that she has something for him. The whole scene is playful, with a latent and subtle flirtation. Beelzebub leads the game and gives Gabriel a small fly, a special fly that can hold many things.

In a gesture that we would normally never make, their fingers touch completely. It is a touch in which we can see the desire for contact, for sharing, in which she literally gives him a part of herself: Beelzebub is, in fact, known as the Lord of the Flies. We have already noted at the beginning of the season that she is LITERALLY made of flies.

This scene shows the first phase of a love relationship, when the couple is fresh and the physical side predominates. There is an almost morbid desire to be in close contact with the other person and to share every part of oneself. This desire is mutual: Gabriel, for his part, gives Beelzebub a special gift, assuring her that he will always play the song she likes in the bar where they met.

The intimacy between the two is no longer just physical. It is also emotional. The relationship between the two has already begun and moved to the next level in just a few minutes of flashbacks.

STEP 2 - I TRUST YOU

We are talking about the moment depicted in the picture accompanying this post.

In Michelangelo's painting, God gives Adam a spark of life through the fleeting touch of the tips of his forefingers. In the final episode of this second season, we find Gabriel/Jim with no memory, completely at the mercy of events. Beelzebub comes to his aid, returning the fly he had given him. Their index fingers brush together as the fly passes from one to the other, only to enter Gabriel and restore his memory and identity.

The couple is now mature and going through a difficult phase. After an abrupt separation, the lovers are reunited, but something has changed and they no longer recognise each other. It will be the leap of faith that one of them takes that will breathe new life into the relationship, literally a new life. He has placed himself in the hands of the other and his trust has been rewarded: she has not abandoned him but has returned to seek him out. The couple is ready to take the next step.

STEP 3 - TOGETHER FOREVER

Here we are at the end of the journey. I think it is the most emotional scene of the whole season.

Gabriel and Beelzebub admit in front of everyone that they love each other. They want to leave their lives behind and go off together.

In spite of the threats of retribution from the two opposing factions to which they belong, the two of them decide to follow their hearts.

Lights go on around them ('Let there be light'), we see their hands clasped together in close-up, and they disappear, letting us know that they've begun their journey together. A journey that will last for all eternity.

The gesture of holding/shaking hands is rich in symbolism. Think of the hand binding ceremony in various religious traditions, or the handshake that concludes a business deal or is a sign of peace.

All of these things can be found here, in those few emotional seconds when Gabriel and Beelzebub hold hands to support each other in this new stage of their lives.

The couple has grown up and the two of them have decided that it is time to move on to the next level: to live together, to share their daily lives, to start a family.

Well, at least for now... a group of the two of them! Read this post on AO3

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