#but maybe someone will see that and maybe change their mind about jon's ending
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One in Eleven Million (final chapter)
damian wayne x reader x jon kent
(A/N): And we have reached the end! Thank you to everyone who has been following this story and I hope the ending was worth the wait. I also wrote at least some of this and the last chapter while delayed at a train station/on the train so any offhand references I make to either of those things are because of the haha.
And happy new year!
Series masterlist can be found here.
warnings: anxiety, train stations, small amount of cursing
wc: ~1400
~~
Jon blinked awake to Damian tapping him on the shoulder.Â
âHuh?âÂ
âWeâre almost there,â he said, nodding out the window. Outside, the scenery had changed from the green of Pennsylvania to the cloudy skyscraper city of Gotham. âAlfredâs meeting us at the station. Iâve already asked and heâll drive them home if theyâre comfortable.âÂ
Jon looked over at you. He couldnât remember if you or he had fallen asleep first, but he felt privileged that you did at all. Sure, some of it might have been the exhaustion of the last day, but he had a feeling you wouldnât have fallen asleep if you didnât trust them to be there and wake you up. Based on your complaints about the station there, there was no way you wanted to end up in Newark. Or New York.Â
Jon shook you gently. You opened your eyes, confused, then sat quickly upright.Â
âShit, I fell asleep? I didnât mean to.â
âIf itâs any consolation, so did I,â Jon shrugged.Â
âI didnât mean to miss the last hour,â you argued.Â
âLast hour of what?â Damian stood up in the aisle, pulling Jonâs carry-on out from where heâd tucked it in. Jon grabbed his backpack then helped you pull your suitcase upright.Â
âOfâthanks Jonâof time left with you guys.â You winced. Maybe that was too honest. Tugging your backpack over your shoulders, you followed Jon towards the exit at the end of the car. Damian stopped at the car door. You braced yourself with your suitcase to avoid toppling over as the train shuddered on the tracks. It really did feel like the plane turbulence from earlier.Â
âThis stop, Gotham Station,â the loudspeaker declared. One thing airplanes have going for them, you thought, better sound systems. The trainâs announcements were barely audible. âDoors will open on the right side of the train. Please watch your step.â Anything further was indecipherable under the burbling of the speaker.Â
âWait, why did you say the last hour?â Jon asked as the three of you took the escalator up to the station's main area.Â
âI have no idea how to contact you after this.â You pulled your suitcase over the lip of the escalator with a tug and continued on. Despite the amount of public transportation youâve taken, Damian seemed to know the station better than you. You followed him as he weaved through the groups of people sprinkled around the area, Jon right behind.Â
Damian stopped just outside a side entrance, and you moved around to his other side to avoid blocking the door. Jon followed.Â
âWe do all have phone numbers,â Damian suggested pulling out his phone. You assumed he was texting whoever was picking up him and Jon.Â
âOh, duh!âÂ
Jonâs excitement made you smile. The thought had crossed your mind earlier, but youâd dismissed it as a non-starter. You felt a little silly for that now.Â
Jonâs phone was already open to a new contact sheet when he handed it to you. You werenât sure if youâd ever actually given them your last name or if they remembered ever seeing it on your train ticket or boarding pass, but there was bound to be someone between Gotham and Metropolis that shared your first name, so you added it in anyway. Jon took it back from you and started typing.Â
Your phone buzzed straightaway. You pulled it out of your pocket, smiling.Â
âhi :)â the first message read. It was sent to you and a third number. Then âitâs jonâ
âHuh,â you mused, reading it. âIâve never seen anyone spell it like that before. Thatâs cool.â
You unlocked your phone, opened it to the group chat, and held it out to Damian.Â
âWould you mind? So I donât misspell your name?â
Damian muttered an assent and took it from you. He returned it with both contacts filled out.Â
âOh, great, thanks.â You chuckled at Jonâs contact. The name, instead of the Jon offered by the initial text, had been filled out as âJonathan Kent.â Damianâs name, you were proud to say, was spelled the way you imagined it was. The last name was a funny coincidence, you thought, considering he lived in Gotham.Â
âWayne?â You asked, about to make a teasing joke.Â
âLike Bruce Wayne, yes.â Damian said, carefully watching your reaction.Â
âLike âWayne Enterprisesâ Wayne?â He nodded. âHoly shit. Wow, okay, I didnât expect that. Wow.â You couldnât read the expression on his face. Some part of you wondered if he was waiting for you to make a comment about his money or his father.Â
âWhy did you take the train with me?â You asked instead. The concrete was rough beneath your shoes, a noticeable contrast from the smoothness of airport flooring. âYou could have easily had someone pick you up. Pick both of you up. So whyâ?âÂ
âBecause we wanted to,â Jon answered simply.Â
âI am not in the habit of making,â Damian hesitated, âfriends and then leaving them behind.âÂ
âYeah,â Your heart thudded loudly in your chest. âIâm glad we agree on that.âÂ
An unfamiliar black car pulled up beside you. You took a couple steps back. It was nice, but anything unfamiliar, nice or not, wasnât worth the risk.Â
Damian, on the other hand, moved in closer. He opened the passenger door and said something to the driver then turned back towards you.Â
âDo you want us to drop you off at home?â
You hesitated for a moment. Jon was looking hopefully at you. Damianâs âfriendsâ echoed in your head.Â
âYeah,â you agreed. âThat would be great.âÂ
Jonâs face split into a grin. The corner of Damianâs lips quirked up. There was some warm feeling in your chest at the fact that you caught it. You smiled back.Â
Alfred Pennyworth, as you learned his name was, stopped the car right outside of your building less than thirty minutes later.Â
âIâll get your suitcase,â Jon offered, hopping out of the car as you collected the rest of your things.Â
âThank you, Mr. Pennyworth.âÂ
âYou are very welcome,â he answered.Â
You shut the door behind you, now face to face with Jon.Â
âIs a hug okay?â You asked him. âIâm not sure if thatâs a thing you do but-â
Jon gives good hugs, you decided immediately. You could feel the weight and warmth of his arms where they circled your shoulders.Â
âIâll text you, okay?â He let go, hands moving to shove in his pockets. âIâll take a picture of Metropolis when I get home and send it.âÂ
You smiled at him; there was something concrete to look forward to. Damian came around the back of the car.Â
âYouâre not a hug person, right?â You asked him. He shrugged.Â
âOnly for certain people.âÂ
You nodded, oddly disappointed. Damian opened his arms.Â
âAre you sure?â You asked him. He nodded and you let him set the pace, tightening your grip only when he did. Damian was a good hugger too, you realized. You wondered if the older brother you heard of hours ago on the plane and Jon both had something to do with that.Â
âYou guys know where I live now,â you adjusted your backpack over your shoulder and pulled up the handle on your suitcase. âSo come visit sometime, okay?â Your gaze wandered over to Jon. âWell if youâre in town, I guess. Metropolis isnât exactly walking distance.âÂ
Jon chuckled.Â
âIâm here pretty often.â
Damian scoffed a quiet laugh.Â
âWe will. And keep in touch.â
âYeah,â you smiled. âYou guys too.â
You gave a final wave before heading into your building. A cloud of melancholy followed you inside. You ignored it, pulling dirty clothes from your suitcase to toss in the hamper before heading to take a shower.Â
Hair dripping but finally clean, you flopped onto your bed, reaching for your phone. Three messages were waiting for you. You answered the one from your parent, asking if youâd gotten home safe. The second was an email. Youâd deal with that later, after you got some sleep. The third was a picture from Damian.Â
He didnât even make it through my shower, the attached message read. On your screen, Jon was lying on a couch underneath Damianâs large dog. He was fast asleep.Â
You laughed and replied, then set your phone down. A nap would definitely throw off your sleep schedule, you knew, but Gotham was nocturnal anyway. You slept the afternoon away.
#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader x jonathan kent#damian wayne x gender neutral reader#damian wayne x reader x jon kent#jon kent x reader#jon kent imagine#jon kent fanfiction#jonathan kent imagine#jonathan kent#emerson writes sometimes#one in eleven million
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Re Jonsa neutrality - are you open to the idea of them being married to unite their claims but only loving each other as siblings (idc if theyâre technically cousins, they were raised as siblings) Ă la Aegon the Uncrowned and Rhaena TBB? Personally I think thatâs most likely, potentially with Dany and Jon being in love on the side. I just donât think that Sansa marrying for politics AND love would be good for her character development. And frankly Iâd hate it if there was a rivalry over Jonâs affections between Sansa and Dany, itâs kicked up enough misogyny in the fandom already.
thank you for the ask! okay two things.
first - I think if jonsa happens, like if they marry, it has to be romantic. if it was just about uniting their claims, to be completely honest, i think jon would still do ultimately what i think he would do in a jonsa-love union which is leave Winterfell for the Gift so his own claim is out of sight and out of mind. he's already denied his claim to Winterfell in favor of Sansa's, and I can't see him changing his mind just because the Wall has fallen. Especially if one or both of the boys is alive - I just don't think the Jon Snow we know in the books would let them crown him without kicking up a fuss about Sansa's claim coming before his, nor do I think he would marry her just to combine their claims. the only scenario i can see him getting talked into marrying Sansa without them having fallen in love is one in which someone - the High Septon maybe, perhaps the Lannisters themselves - is trying to get Sansa to go back to Tyrion, in which case I think Jon could be willing to quickly prove she's still a maid, then marry and consummate, to let her stay in Winterfell.
As for Sansa, I am whole heartedly against any scenario in which she marries strictly for politics; not only do I think it doesn't really match where her story line is going, I think it's deeply depressing as an ending for her. Same as Brienne, I do not think their desires for an equal marriage built on love are going to be answered with convenient political matches; rather I think their desires for love are going to be answered in "odd" ways likely outside of wedlock, the same way their desires for true knights to exist are answered in odd ways outside the typical bonds of chivalry and masculinity. If Sansa marries, I do believe it will be for love. If she loves someone she can't marry, I don't think she will get married (though she will have bastards she claims are fathered by a wolf and/or name Arya's children as her own heirs).
So basically, no I don't think they would combine their lines the way Rhaena and Aegon did; if they marry, it will be for love not for politics.
Secondly - I don't think Jon/Dany is happening lmao, I think that was fully a show invention. Similar to Tyrion and Dany meeting so early, it happened because D&D wanted it to happen and not because it's anything George gave them. My reasons for that are:
there's just no time. if jon is getting a second lover, it's happening in twow not ados and I can't see Dany getting to westeros any sooner than the epilogue of twow
they just like, aren't each other's type even a little bit but especially re: Jon's feelings on Dany. people always use that dumbshit line about ladies in towers to pretend like Jon would never fall in love with Sansa but Jon is not just like, mindlessly attracted to every Action Gil he meets; he's pretty obviously turned off by both Ygritte and Val's hot tempers, and he's also very mistrustful of magic, even his own.
i don't think either of them are going to be particularly thrilled to meet each other. i think people really underestimate how turned off westeros is going to be when she lands with an army of unsullied and dothraki screamers, especially considering how "anti kneeler" jon has gotten since his time with the wildlings. i think the night's watch are very right that jon has absorbed too much of the wildling culture to ever truly fit back in with southron cultures, much less with non-northern cultures. and armies made up of sellswords don't do well in westeros, historically speaking. and for her part, while dany is obviously on the lookout for the other two heads of the dragon she thinks are coming, she's also on the lookout for the mummer's dragon and the betrayals, and she's gotten legitimately paranoid about these events over the course of adwd.
frankly, i can't see either sansa OR dany being okay with sharing a lover, however dispassionate the marriage might be
nor can i see jon being okay with being someone's secret lover - i've been a proponent of a secret marriage between sansa & jon, but that's always in the context of them looking for more concrete evidence to prove he's lyanna & rhaegar's so they can go public with their relationship, rather than something that would remain secret, or remain illicit in some way. jon is too much ned's son imo to be particularly happy with this sort of set up. very much like jaime, he wants a typical westerosi male sort of life - a castle to raise and live in, a wife to love, trueborn children to name after the ones he loves. being someone's lover is just like, more of the same wrt the way bastards are treated - good enough to fuck, not good enough to build a life with.
tldr is i just don't see the point of a politics only marriage for either of them - it's just More Of The Same for Sansa, and it's way OOC for Jon Snow. If he wants to protect her claim, the best thing he can do is disappear, and if their relationship never crosses into romantic, that is the option I think he's most likely to take, and not a political marriage. I would also hate some sort of romantic rivalry between Sansa and Dany over Jon, the same way as I'm not fond of the idea of Jon killing Dany but to be honest, I don't think romantic Jonsa is really compatible story wise with romantic Jonerys. I think it's very much an either/or situation. If the girls are hostile to each other and it involves Jon, I think it would center more about Jon's claim and who is "in control" of it rather than both of them straight up vying for him romantically.
#if there's a million spelling errors its bc i'm on the shitty keyboard at work#and i type too fast to always register that the goddamn keyboard has died for a few seconds#asks#g0lightly#book jonsa#i wrote this in like 20 minutes on desk so if any of it is confusing feel free to ask follow ups aljdsf#also hope my tone comes across correctly as 'just yappin'
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Magnus Archives Episode 154 / 200 Analysis
(If this was mentioned by anyone before, I am sorry. I found one tumblr post showing the similarity in John's âTogether - one way or anotherâ but nothing more. So if you guys know more sources on this topic please share them with me. I would love to talk about this more.)
(also this is maybe a bit messy but I hope you guys see my vision)
I believe the Ending of the Magnus Archive was already decided in the episode â154 - Bloody Maryâ or at least episode 200 is a parallel / continuation of the post statement scene.
I will show 154 in order while adding the matching parts from 200 (the parts from 200 are coloured differently to easily recognize them).
In 154 John learns that they can leave the Institut if they damage their eyes permanently.
After gaining this information he goes to Martin. He is the first to know.
(This one is not hard evidence - just something small I noticed)

(200) Martin is also the first to know what John did (also the only one).
(154) John then proposes to Martin that he wants to leave with him, because he trusts Martin and doesn't want to do it alone. He doesn't even consider the others here. He just wants to be with Martin.
This also plays into Jon's identity crisis in Season 4. Martin was there for him all the time and Jon values Martin's opinion more than the others, cause he loves him, cause he hopes Martin wants the same, cause he wants someone who gives him permission, to tell him what is right.
(200) Here we have it the other way around now. Martin trusted John not to kill Jonah on his own and John finally had the courage to do something on his own.
(154) Martins response is:
He doesn't want to choose for John, since he knows how insecure John is.
(200) John made it Martin's decision. He canât kill himself at this point and already made his choice.
(154) This scenario is almost the same, just that the roles are partly swapped. In both cases they aren't sure if John will survive this, that it is a risk and a wish to escape.
Ending with the famous âone way or anotherâ spoken again by John.
(154) After John proposes his idea to Martin he gets unsure, saying his idea was stupid. Martin says he has to see things through with Peter, which triggers John to try again.
(200) There is no exact line that fits this, but John derails everything by killing Jonah on his own.
(154) This one is interesting.
Martins says John would never blind himself. John indeed doesnât want that. He wants to live, he wants to see and he likes his powers.
Blinding himself would be the easy way out.
In this season John fights a lot about his wants and his identity, so it makes sense that he asks the others for guidance and opinions. He is not sure what he really wants and even if it is okay to just take it. I am sure that John at this point loves Martin deeply and wants his input on the situation. He wants to hear âof course I come with you Johnâ, but Martin denies that from him.
(200) At this point not even John's love for Martin holds him back and he does what he wants to do, going from âcouldâ to âdidâ.
Martin is also in disbelief here, mirroring his and Johnâs words in 154.
you do - you didnât
I could - you canât
âI did. I am â
John is confident in this scene. He IS what he decided to be. He is whole.
(154) More evidence that even Martin doesn't believe John.
Again a parallel:
I can't follow you
Martin pushing Jon away ( to save him)

(200) Where you go I go.
John pushing martin away (to save him)
(and then changing his mind, accepting the proposal of escape)
In short:
(154)
John proposes to leave together.
Martin says John would and can not do that.
He won't make the decision for John.
Martin pushes John away.
John says he waits.
(200)
John does something that Martin dared him to do.
John tries to push Martin away.
Martin proposes to leave together.
Martin has to make the decision for John.
They stay together.
Maybe I went a bit crazy here but these scenes have so much in common.
#tma spoiler#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#this is a bit messy but this consumed my brain today#pls tell me your thoughts
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this is what i tell the world at the end, full of pride [part two of four] | j. snow x fem!oc



part 6œ of the modern!holiday au
summary: after a frustrating day at work, cerelle suggests jon try out something new to get his mind off things.
contents: modern au, pride month, smut (face fucking, eating out from behind, edging, anal fingering), use of a safe word
words: 4250
author's note: the pride madness continues
tag list: @sunraysoverthevalley @idohknow @sammybirdseed
masterlist
previous | next
The window on the other side of the room clatters as he throws the door close with all his might. He lets out a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh, and leans back against it.
He has dealt with rude people before. He has dealt with idiots before. He has dealt with assholes before. But never before has he had to deal with all three on the same day, within the same last hour before closing. It is clear Thorne hates him, otherwise he would have defended him from any one of these godawful men today.
âEverything alright?â
Jon looks up in surprise to see Cerelle sitting on his bed, books and binders spread around her, and⊠and dressed in one of his hoodies.
Since having exchanged apartment keys last week, they have agreed that either of them could simply show up to the other's place, even if they arenât home. Neither have used it yet - until today. And he couldnât be happier.
He hastily drops his jacket and backpack, slips out of his shoes, and lets himself fall onto the bed and into her embrace. She chuckles as he presses his face against her stomach, but he only tightens his hold around her waist.
âTough day?â
He nods.
âDo you want to talk about it?â
On a different day he would have liked nothing more than to get all his troubles off his chest, to share them with his girlfriend and have her ease his worries. But not today. Not after being screamed at for almost half an hour. And definitely not after reading that article Rast had sent him.
What is going on with Cerelle Baratheon-Lannister?
By now, I believe we have all become accustomed to the scandals our presidentâs daughter serves to us on a weekly basis. Whether itâs some weird sex story, another dead body, or the desecration of a public monument - everyone remembers the pictures of the remains of the dragon statue in Summerhall from last year - her exploits have become part of the newscycle. Election - robbery - Cerelle. Budget cuts - drugs - Cerelle. War in Essos - football - Cerelle. Her life is a trainwreck we simply cannot look away from.
But something seems to have changed since the beginning of the year. Sure, she still gets near black-out drunk in every single night club in the city, got arrested three times in the last three months, and had yet another exposĂ© written about her by an ex lover, but that is tame by her standards. Where are the orgies? The cannibalism accusations? The murder charges? What happened to the woman who was caught in bed with her fatherâs greatest political rival? Who dyed the Blackwater Rush blood-red? Who almost bombed a fascist rally?
Theories have started popping up in every corner of the internet, each more unbelievable than the last. The most common conclusion people have reached is that she has either become pregnant - likely from someone she doesnât even remember the name of, which could lead to some interesting court proceedings - or that someone has finally snatched her up and married her. Maybe Aurane Waters has finally succeeded in his year-long quest, maybe one of her previous lovers actually belongs to the Church of Old Valyria and has demanded she fulfil their strange scriptures, or maybe, most boringly, her grandfather has forced her to finally marry Alyn Estermont to secure him as a son-in-law.
That a beauty surgery has gone wrong or that she is suffering from cancer (or any other mysterious disease) is unlikely, considering her looks have not changed. More likely than this is that she has been sent to rehab again, or that she even - gods forbid - is preparing to run for a public office. Though hopefully even she knows how useless that is. No one would want someone like her running even a soup kitchen.
Well, no matter what the reason for Cerelle Baratheon-Lannisterâs strange behaviour is, chances are high we will see her old self again very soon. Women like her are incapable of a ânormalâ life.
Jon knows the article is nothing but an opinion piece posted to a random gossip site. And yet the opinions of the people it mentions are very real, the links at the bottom leading to actual discussions as to what might be wrong with their favourite starlet.
Cerelle cannot find out about what these people say about her. And so he merely shakes his head and hides his face underneath her hoodie. His hoodie, that she is wearing.
His girlfriend laughs, her fingers tracing his hair through the fabric. âLooks like someone is in need of a distraction.â
He wants to move downward, to take her up on her offer and lose himself in her, but she quickly lays her fingers underneath his chin and forces him to meet her gaze.
âI meant something different.â She smiles seeing his confusion. âYou could⊠try letting out some of your frustrations on me.â
He jolts upward in shock. âNo! No, I could never-â
âIt's alright, it's alright.â She quickly takes his hand in hers, laying a gentle kiss on its knuckles and squeezing it in encouragement. âYou don't have to, it's just⊠I actually think it's really hot when you take control sometimes. When you grow demanding and take what you want. It's⊠freeing in a way. And I wouldn't mind if you got a bit rough with me.â
He considers her words. His fingers absentmindedly draw shapes on the back of her hand, and eventually start tracing the edge of her hoodie.
âLike the time I fucked you against your apartment door?â
âYeah,â she breathes out. âJust like that.â
âOr when I took you from behind and made you cum three times?â
She bites her lower lip and hums in agreement.
âHow about that time I-â
âStop talking and fuck me already.â
He takes ahold of her chin and tips her head back. âWhat happened to wanting me to be in charge?â
âYou can't expect to taunt your needy girlfriend forever.â She grins, almost in a challenge. âIf you don't start something soon, she might have to get her pleasure from somewhere else.â
Jon knows what she is doing, of course - intentionally playing bratty and riling him up to get him more comfortable with the situation.
And so he grins in response and pushes Cerelle off the bed.
She lets out a sound somewhere between confusion, anger, and surprise, but before she can mutter even a single word, he has sat down on the edge of the mattress and started unbuckling his pants.
âIf you're so desperate to be fucked-â he pulls his still soft dick out of his pants and gives it an insistent tug- âYou need to earn it.â
And before he knows it, his girlfriend has already swallowed him to the base.
By now he should have already been used to her warm mouth, the way her skillful tongue traces along the veins and how her throat tightens around his tip, yet it still takes him off guard how good it feels every time. It's no surprise, then, that she has him rock-hard and throbbing within a minute.
Maybe a wiser and more experienced man would be terrified if another person knows his body better than he does, but Jon doesn't care. Not with Cerelle. Not with how she moans so prettily when pleasuring him, how she leans forward on her knees to take him even deeper, and how she sometimes stops to make out with his tip as if it were his lips.
He groans and jerks his hips forward and further into her warmth at that particular sight. She grins - or attempts to do so, at least, yet her lips are still stretched around his spit-covered dick - but just as she is about to reach her hand up to assist her work, he reminds himself of what she asked for.
One of his hands closes itself around her wrist, the other buries itself in her hair and pulls her off his length.
(The string of spit connecting her lips to his tip make his hips almost surge forward.)
Cerelle looks up at him - still grinning, still cocky, still urging him to go further.
âDo you need a break?â she asks in such a sugary-sweet voice he almost laughs.
âYou might need one soon,â he responds.
Her lips part slightly in surprise, then she tips her head back, baring her long and pale throat to him.
âHow so, my love?â
Oh, how desperately he simply wants to stuff his cock into her mouth and fuck her the way he has fantasised about so many times before, but⊠Not yet. Soon, maybe, but his anxiety is still too strong.
He lets go of her wrist and brings his hand up to her mouth, pressing his thumb against her lips. She opens them readily and sucks his finger into her mouth, humming against the digit as it presses down on her tongue.
The sight alone almost makes him cum.
âThere is something⊠Something I want to do,â he says slowly. âBut you wouldnât be able to talk during it, and I'm scared of hurting you and not even noticing.â
Cerelle gently takes ahold of his wrist, frees his thumb from her mouth with a pop (gods!), and interlaces their fingers.
âTwo squeezes mean you should stop.â She shows him what she means. Once. Twice. âI will not let go of your hand, no matter what you do.â
He almost kisses her red lips, yet manages to hold himself back.
Later.
For now, his other hand tightens the grip it has on Cerelle's hair, and guides her head towards his dick.
He starts off slow, just to get them both used to the feeling. Being the one in control of a blowjob - and the movement of his girlfriendâs head in particular - feels strange, and yet he cannot help but love it. Love the way her lips move along his spit-covered cock, how he keeps her mouth pressed firmly against his tip when she clearly so desperately wants to take him deeper, how he jerks his hips forward suddenly and takes her off-guard.
It takes him a while to find a rhythm he is comfortable with (and one Cerelle might be as well). He drags her head forward and back, tilting it, speeding up and slowing down. She does her fair share of work as well, of course, moving her tongue across the sensitive veins on the underside, humming, smiling, whining, and almost threatening to bite him when he keeps her in one place for too long.
Jon rewards her with a sudden thrust of his hips that makes her gag around his dick. He almost draws her back, preparing to ask if she is alright, if he hurt her, when she looks him directly into his eyes and swallows around him.
He begins moving her mouth along his cock quicker, then, preparing to stop at a moment's notice. But even if the grip he has on her hair must surely hurt already, even if he never gives her a moment to breathe, she continues sucking him off.
He starts losing himself in her more and more. His head falls back, his eyes fall close, and all he can focus on is the sound of his dick fucking into Cerelle's throat.
It's disgusting. It's beautiful. It's addicting.
His hand flattens against the back of her head, keeping her face pressed against his groin and his tip locked firmly in her throat. Breathing slowly and heavily to avoid cumming, he plays with lone strands of her hair, jerking his hips forward slightly to-
She squeezes his hand.
A string of curses flies through his head as he rips her off his dick faster than he should have.
âI'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so-â
Cerelle coughs, retching a bit even, and wipes some of the spit from her chin with a trembling hand.
âI'm so sorry.â Jon falls on the floor beside his girlfriend in a frenzy. âI shouldn't have- Are you hurt? Are you okay?â
She laughs shakily. âYeah, I'm okay.â Her hands find his and tighten around his fingers. âIt's just⊠You're a bit too big for me to deepthroat you for long.â
âStill, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have used you like that, what if something had-â
âHey, hey. Jon, it's alright.â She cups his face in her hands, tracing the lines of his beard. âI enjoyed it. I asked for you to take control, and I knew this was one of the things you could do. And I still wanted it. BesidesâŠâ She takes his hand again, and squeezes twice. âThat's why we have this. I tapped out in time, you reacted in time. Nothing happened.â
He presses his lips to her forehead, and cradles her body in his arms, attempting to stop the trembling wrecking through him.
Nothing happened. Cerelle's right. She is still here, she is not hurt, she is still smiling and breathing.
âIfâŠâ he says slowly. âIf this had been a colour, which would you have said?â
She had introduced him to the concept of safewords last week, and they had agreed on using the traffic light system. Green for continue, orange for dialling it back or going slower, red for a full stop. Either could ask at any time, or simply say the colour at any time.
âOrange,â Cerelle answers. Her breath fans across his throat.
âSo you'd want to continue?â
She nods. âIf that's alright with you. The whole thing really turned me on.â
He grins, and moves his mouth directly next to her ear. âThen onto the bed, my love. Hands and knees.â
His girlfriend follows his command - only after kissing him, of course. She looks divine in that position, especially with how her long curls fall all around her body and collect around her hands.
He moves behind her, tracing her ass and thin legs through the fabric of her leggings, before slowly and carefully pulling them and her underwear down, over her knees, and throwing them onto the floor.
She audibly inhales, then almost squeals the moment he latches onto her clit.
After what just happened, it feels comforting in a way to kneel behind her and get drunk on her juices, on the moans and whines that spill from her mouth. He grabs her thigh, digging his fingers into the soft flesh to draw her legs further apart and provide him with better access to her cunt.Â
His tongue draws circles around her hole, pressing against it without ever entering. Cerelle whines, trying to push herself closer against his face, but he only smiles and moves back to her clit, showering it with attention instead.
Pleasuring her has become far too easy, and yet it doesn't bother him. There is a sense of satisfaction to knowing his girlfriend's body inside and out, to know which licks of his tongue and which presses of his fingers will get her moaning the loudest. A sense of pride in being her access to pleasure.
His nose presses into her cunt as he continues sucking her clit and making out with it as if it is her mouth. (Though nothing could compare to that.) A mixture of her juices and his spit run down her legs and get caught in his beard, but that does nothing to deter him. It's the opposite, in fact.
Her taste, her scent, her entire being needs to become a part of him, needs to enter his mind and blood so that he will remember it even into death.
Cerelle rocks her hips back and forth, almost starting to ride his face. He swiftly lays his hand in between her shoulder plates and starts to push down with enough force to make her arms crumble underneath her. Her face and front are now pressed into the mattress, while the arch in her back makes her ass point upward, providing him with an even better access to her cunt. And a good look atâŠ
Oh, how desperately he tries to ignore it, tries to drown himself in the wetness spilling out of her. But the thought simply will not leave him alone. No matter how hard he tries.
She won't like it, we haven't talked about it, this is not what either of them are here forâŠ
He gently bites her clit, making her let out a quiet scream.
No, she has said she likes it, and would be up for it at any time. And if she wants to try something different, wants to feel what it's like when he has complete control over herâŠ
His hand, previously locked tightly around her leg, starts slowly inching upward. His mouth doesn't leave her hole, of course, keeping her distracted and hiding his next goal. But he cannot focus properly on that (not even on her beautiful moans), as he grabs a handful of her ass to squeeze it, before moving further.
His thumb stops a hairâs breadth away from her puckered hole.
And based on the sudden shudder that went through her body, she might have noticed what he is planning.
âColour?â
âGreen. Green, please- Please, continue, I beg-â
He swipes his tongue along her cunt, starting at her clit and almost reaching her ass, as his thumb dips into her wet hole, collecting as much of her juices as possible. Then he returns it to its previous position, and starts pressing down.
There is a lot more insistence than he is used to, even if he clearly feels her trying to relax herself for him. Despite wanting nothing more than to watch his own work, he keeps his mouth locked firmly on Cerelle's clit, absentmindedly sucking on it as he moves his thumb in circles over her asshole.
Slowly, the tip of his finger passes her rim. It's so incredibly tight, squeezing around the intruding digit and seemingly wanting to draw it further in and press it out at the same time.
Cerelle arches her back even more, almost folding herself in half as she tries to move against him. His free hand quickly grabs her waist to keep her in place.
âY'like this?â he mumbles against her cunt.
âY-Yeah.â
His chuckles send vibrations straight to her core, making her shiver. âYouâre desperate for me.â He swipes his tongue across her hole. âCan't spend even a day without me.â He runs his finger through her wetness again, and quickly presses back it into her ass, slowly moving it deeper and deeper. âYou look so good wearing my things. You have no idea what that does to me.â
Cerelle moans - whether at his words or the continued assault on her holes he cannot say. Her breathing quickens, her legs start to tremble under the continuing strain of keeping her upright, and her hole begins to pulse around his tongue. All the signs point to-
He moves his mouth away swiftly, and presses against her legs and waist to stop her from chasing his touch.
She whines. âJon, please.â
âSomething the matter?â
Her panting sounds muffled against the pillow she has buried her face in.
âWhat was that?â he asks with a grin. âI fear I didn't understand you.â
âPlease,â she whispers. âLet me cum.â
He hums as he stares at his abandoned work, gently moving his thumb inside her ass, pressing it against her walls. âCould you cum from this? If it was my dick inside you instead.â
âN- No,â she answers shakily. âNot if you didn't touch my clit.â
âHmm.â He moves closer slightly, his breath fanning over her skin. âSounds like I need to try that some time.â
He continues eating her out, yet stopping just before she cums every time. By the time he has denied her yet another orgasm - he has lost count by this point - her crying and begging has devolved so much he cannot even make out proper words anymore.
It's so terribly addicting.
The moment her legs give out under her, he quickly catches her and turns her onto her back.
Cerelle looks at him with half-closed eyes when he moves up to her, and lets out a small whine when he cups her cheek in his hand.
âHow are you?â he asks. âAre you alright?â
She nods, her breathing coming out in ragged bursts. âYeah. Though I'd really like it if you made me cum now.â
âThere is one more thing I would like to do before that.â He hesitates. âColour?â
âGreen.â
âThen close your hands around the headboard.â
A smile creeps onto her face. âAnd if I don't?â she asks, raising her chin.
He moves so close their lips almost touch. âI can always tie them up for you if you're too weak.â
Cerelleâs grin hides something mischievous, and he could not wait to find out what plans are forming inside her head.
Later. For now, he kneels above her chest, legs on either side of her body as she raises her arms above her head just as he commanded. He quickly leans forward and interlaces one of his hands with hers, feeling stupid for almost forgetting.
âSqueeze twice if I should stop.â
She nods, and then he moves his hips forward and presses his dick against her mouth.
Eating out his girlfriend should not have made him this hard, but looking at his red and throbbing cock, and the pre already leaking out of it, he is glad for it. He desperately needs to cum, and could not manage having to start from zero again.
Cerelle swallows him straight down, even in this strange position they have found themselves in. And when he starts pulling out and snapping back into her mouth over and over again, his balls slapping against her chin and his tip close to entering her throat, she takes it as if she had done so a thousand times before.
He sometimes draws halfway out to let her tongue run along his dick, mindful not to accidentally choke her again. She makes this a bit difficult with how desperately she chases after him, never properly letting go of him.
Eventually, he does start to lose himself inside her, yet his loss of control doesn't last long, because then suddenly Cerelle runs her teeth across his dick and swallows around him, making him jerk into her throat one final time before cumming.
He almost falls down on top of her, only barely holding onto the headrest as his hips slightly jerk into her mouth and he spills himself into her.
Itâs blinding, in a way, the very kind of pure euphoria he knows he cannot find anywhere else. Cannot even find with someone else, no matter how many people he could fuck over his life - only Cerelle could make him lose himself so from a mere orgasm.
When he does finally manage to retain control of his senses, he almost falls off the bed in his haste to free his girlfriendâs chest of his weight. How her reaction time is still quick enough to catch him and draw him into her embrace even after everything he did to her is a mystery to him.
Jon wipes away some of the escaped seed from her lips and chin. âAre you alright?â
She nods, tightening her grip on his shirt. âWill you now please make me cum? Please?â
âDo it yourself.â
âWhat?â
He smiles, takes one of her hands and guides it to her core. âI am tired after everything today. If you are so desperate, you need to make yourself cum.â
A million different emotions rush across her face, before her eyes darken and she matches his grin.
Not surprisingly, it doesn't take Cerelle very long to reach her orgasm, especially after everything they just did (and everything he did to her). She arches into his chest, throws back her head, and moans loudly as her juices spill out from between her legs.
They lie in each otherâs arms afterwards. Just breathing, just existing with each other, and recovering from what just happened.
âWhere did you learn all that?â she whispers.
âNowhere. I just⊠It was just an idea I had. Something I wanted to do with you.â He chuckles. âI donât think there is very much to learn about denying my girlfriend the chance to cum.â
âYou really like that word.â
âGirlfriend?â She hums in agreement. âYeah. I donât know why. Youâre not my first, and before you the word was never anything special. I canât explain why it feels so different now.â
Cerelle is quiet for a moment before she says, âYouâre my first boyfriend.â
âWhat? Really?â
She nods. âIâve had one-night stands and situationships and friends with benefits and maybe sometimes things that could have evolved into something proper had we both only wanted it, but I have never had a serious partner before. And especially not someone I was exclusive with.â
Jonâs heart races at the revelation.
Before this, he had always assumed the reason Cerelle is such an expert about their relationship, the reason she always knows what to say and what not to say, when to discuss something and when to simply fall asleep next to him, was because she had done it a thousand times before. But now-
He hugs her tighter. âThank you for trusting me enough to give you this experience.â
âThere is no one better I could have imagined for this.â
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#jon snow x oc#jon snow#jon snow smut#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#game of thrones#asoiaf fanfic#game of thrones fanfic#asoiaf oc#game of thrones oc#fic: stars above songs below#fic: sasb holiday au#oc: cerelle baratheon#asoiaf x oc#game of thrones x oc
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Spider in the Dark
This was SO MUCH FUN
Chapter Five
Sasha hummed in satisfaction as the program she had been working on finally yielded. An address popped up on the screen and she frowned. That warehouse was definitely empty. The police had cornered a small group of the People's Church along with Author Nolan; he was dead. Well, honestly probably not. Sasha had seen enough to not trust such a hopeful claim. But he couldn't still be there?Â
She had been researching the claims that some statement givers had given on the Stranger. Honestly it was just idle work until Jon gave her a real task. But one search had led to another and now she was staring at an address that was supposedly where a mannequin had been dropped off for maintenance. So why was it the same warehouse as Author's group? Â
It wasn't a mistake on her end. And she doubted it was a coincidence. Those didn't seem to exist in this place. Maybe Jon knew something about it, Sasha moved to stand when Jon's door flew open and Jon paused, looking around before frowning.Â
"Where is everybody?"Â
"Martin went to investigate a lead and Tim's taking some sort of vacation day."Â
Jon scowled and Sasha grinned. "I, however, am right here and not busy at the moment." Besides the mystery of the warehouse but that was a side project at best.Â
"I need to follow up on a location someone left us about a statement, it was last week so I hope to find something useful."
"Alright, where?"
He squinted at the paper and read the coordinates. Her eyes shot up.Â
"Jon, that's the same warehouse they had the ambush at." She gestured to her computer screen. "What statement was it about?"
"An artifact delivered by Michael Silesa. I think Gertrude was looking into it, I found an older recording-"
"I'm going to stop you there," Sasha cut him off and rubbed her temples. "Have you really thought about this? This seems like a trap."
"Possibly. I'm going to check it out."
"I'm coming with you." She was leading him out of the basement before he could protest, glancing back just in time to see him stuff a recorder in his pocket. Sasha rolled her eyes. Recently he had been jumpier, at first she had thought it was just because of the worms. Then she shrugged off the suspicion to the fact that even after a very annoying, very persistent argument on why Micheal seemed interested in protecting her and having to listen to him list off all the reasons it was a horrible idea, she still didn't change her mind. But now she was starting to think the paranoia was from something else, and if Jon needed a little extra confirmation of her loyalty she was willing to provide it. Hell just about anything to get out of the office.Â
"But we aren't going anywhere without torches, and I'm going to text Tim to give us three hours and if he doesn't hear back to call the cops."
Jon frowned. "That won't be necessary."
"Tough." She said simply, shooting Tim a text as they entered into the afternoon sun.Â
----------------------------------------------
"This is definitely a trap." Sasha said matter of fact as they looked over a piece of paper that had been taped to the side door of the large industrial warehouse. The paper had the words "A Guest for Mr. Spider." Printed nicely. She hadn't the slightest idea what that meant but it left Jon three shades paler than before which told her all she needed to know. "We should leave."Â
"I'm not leaving." Jon put the paper in his pocket and opened the door. "I need answers."
She followed in after him and quickly grabbed his arm. He paused long enough to allow her to hand him a torch. It was pitch black in there.Â
They walked forwards and she tried to remember where they were. Along the wall she spotted a yellow door. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not.Â
"What does the note mean?" Her question echoed.Â
"Nothing."
"It must have meant something with the way you balked at it."
"Why are you so curious about it?" His words settled around them with an accusatory bite.Â
Sasha rolled her eyes. "Oh I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm following you blindly into a place that could kill us?" Her heart was hammering in her ears. God she hated the dark, she shifted her grip on his wrist. Even with the torch she could barely see the wall beside them.Â
"Well excuse me, I don't see the danger you could possibly be in with how close you are to deadly monsters."Â
There was no way he was doing this right now. And Sasha knew that she shouldn't be fueling it but her nerves had her on edge and her filter was left at the door of the warehouse.Â
"I don't appreciate your passive aggressive tone."
"I don't like being lied to." His words bordered on a growl.Â
Realistically she knew the stress of it all was hitting him. They should leave now, she had already started to lose track of direction and he wasn't helping.Â
Sasha tried to remain calm as she answered. "I haven't lied to you." She slowed them to a stop and looked around. "Jon, maybe we should leave."
"Why, " He ripped his wrist free and shined the torch directly in her face. "Why should I believe anything you've said to me? For all I know you wrote the note, I saw you already knew the location of this warehouse before I even brought it up."
Sasha swore the darkness was getting darker around them. Her calm was slipping.Â
"Yes I was looking up a statement that had to do with the warehouse, specifically about a mannequin that was delivered here. I don't know anything about the note or why it might be significant, that's why I asked." She could barely see him over the blinding light in her eyes. Alarms were going off in her head that they needed to start looking for an exit. "Listen I know it's been a hard two weeks since Prentiss and all-"
"How would you know? You've been in the clear, chatting up the bloody distortion!"Â
Obviously he wasn't finished with their previous argument. She heard a sound to the left and her head snapped in that direction, aiming her torch into fog. Was there always fog? She was shaking, woefully aware that they hadn't brough anything to arm themselves with.Â
"Jon, please, can we please have this later-"
"For all I know you've brought me here to kill me, you certainly seem panicked enough."Â
Sasha was just about done with his paranoia. "Damn it Jon, I'm scared of the dark!"
No sooner were the words out when both their torches flickered and died.Â
Sasha just about lunged at Jon, gripping whatever she could as tight as she could. "You can accuse me of murder after we live long enough to get out of here. Now please tell me you still have extra torches in your bag."Â
"Right. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to need you to let go of my shoulder a moment- thank you."
There was the sound of shuffling fabric then both of them froze. To the left she could hear a distinct clicking sound followed by tapping. She swore it sounded like footsteps, but too many to be human. She squeezed his arm. "Light, Jon, light." She whispered.Â
The sound of a zipper followed a small swear from Jon.Â
"They won't turn on."
Shit. "Jonathan Sims, if I die because of your paranoia for me I swear to Christ I will kill you." She needed to think. "Ok, the wall was to the left of us, if we can find the wall then we can find a way out."
He let out a shaky breath and they started moving, pausing every once in a while when the tapping got closer.Â
Sasha held her breath as they walked in the supposed direction, her heart ricocheting in her ears, but this couldn't be right, they should have hit a wall by now. Jon made a small sound of disapproval and they both stopped for a moment.Â
Sasha remembered her phone and used one hand to rip it out of her pocket, trying to turn it on. Dead.Â
Because of course it was.Â
Her gaze snapped to the left of her, she swore she had heard a sound. Not the clicking like before, it almost sounded like-
Something wrapped around her arm and she nearly screamed, nearly, quickly shoving her free hand over her mouth, dropping her phone.Â
"What, Sasha what?" Jon's voice trembled with fear low and close to her ear.Â
Laughter. She had heard laughter. And not just anyones.Â
Before she could process an answer she was being pulled lightly, and in response she pulled Jon as well. They walked in silence for what felt like years, Sasha being led blind until she heard the subtle sound of hinges and the hand that was pulling her was gone.Â
It took her a moment to realize she was in front of a door. She didn't need to see the color to know where it led.Â
Her grip around Jon tightened and she felt him move closer. "What, why have we stopped?"
"I- I think I found us a way out, a door, but, Jon I already know you don't trust me but-"Â
"If you found an exit why aren't we taking it?"
Sasha gripped the handle tightly. "I don't think this door leads outside." She whispered.Â
A beat of silence went by before Jon seemed to understand what she was insinuating.Â
"Absolutely bloody not, I will not follow you into whatever hell awaits us through there, there's got to be a better-"
His voice staggered and instantly a loud guttural sound burst through the silence followed by fervent tapping.Â
"No time." Sasha threw the door open and pulled Jon inside just as the roar seemed to shake the ground beneath them. The door shut easily, leaving them with just the sound of their heartbeats.Â
Sasha allowed herself to breathe again. Tremors were running through her body as she tried to keep composure. This was the final straw, either she was changing departments or Elias was giving her one hell of a raise.Â
Sasha hadn't let go of Jon since they crossed into the corridors, and she couldn't hide her relief of sight. Even if the mess and ever changing blur of shapes hurt her mind a little. Sasha looked at Jon, he was leaned over, his hands on his knees and breathing shakily. He was paler than he should have been. She glanced around and saw a flickering door in front of them. But it was there. And she pulled Jon forwards.Â
"Come on." Her anger almost surprised her.Â
She still didn't let go of Jon as they tripped and swayed to the door. It didn't move, and when she opened it, it led out onto what appeared to be a street corner. Laughter echoed through the halls as they stepped through the threshold, the door disappearing behind them.Â
Immediately she let go of Jon.Â
For a moment it was silent, Sasha feeling something in her pocket and pulling out her phone. Hadn't she dropped it? She opened it to a message from Tim asking for a time check.Â
She glanced at the time and frowned.Â
Thirty minutes. Only thirty minutes.Â
"My, my, that counts twice in one month. Dear Archivist, please tell me you walked into her web on purpose, if I knew how much you seemed to enjoy the thrill I wouldnât be so quick to gift you such a free pleasure."
Sasha didn't have the willpower at the moment to worry about Micheal leaning against the wall and sneering at Jon. She needed a minute. Breathing through her nose as she prayed for her heart to relax. Jon responded to Michael's words with some barked reply. She wasn't listening, instead focusing on not breaking down and crying on the street corner.Â
A few minutes went by, the wind filtering through her hair as she finally took the time to turn to the two behind her.Â
She wasn't entirely all that sure on what Micheal said but Jon looked livid and Micheal looked overjoyed.Â
"Shut it!" She hollered over the two of them, her voice not nearly as strong as she had hoped. Instead it sounded a level above a pathetic whimper. "Micheal. Thank you for getting us out, Jon, come on we are leaving."
She didn't turn around to see if he was following her, but it wasn't long till he was beside her. A new type of silence taking over.Â
Sasha wasn't even sure if angry was the correct term. She thought over her words carefully before speaking, keeping them flat and almost monotone.Â
"I don't know what's worse. The fact that we almost died from something neither of us could see, or the fact that you came to the conclusion I was going to kill you. Both are pathetic enough."
"I didn't-"
"Oh don't even think about taking your words back now." She wasn't making much progress on keeping her tone even. "Where did that even come from?! Logically, what do I benefit from killing you? We've already come to the conclusion that your job isn't the 'promotion' we all thought it would be."
His words were quiet. Ashamed "Gertrude Robinson was killed in cold blood."Â
Right. She had had a suspicion that that had been bothering him. It made her let out a small crude laugh.Â
"And here I thought it was because I had befriended what you call a monster."
"I just don't want to end up like her, you knew her! I was just-"
"Just what, Jon?" She stopped in front of him, anger and fear spilling through her words, unable to be held back any longer. "You are one of the most intensely skeptical people I've ever met, I've never heard you this paranoid before. Do you even have any evidence? Where's your proof? You criticize every single statement you read because they never have the proof you want, now you are going off of nothing and suspecting everything!"
"Gertrude Robinson is my proof." He shot back. Like a cornered dog she thought, shaking her head.Â
"She's proof that someone was out to get her. I met her! I'm not all that surprised someone came after her and honestly neither should you! Christ Jon we were attacked by worms and now this, obviously there are things out there able and willing to kill. Why the hell suspect me?"
But it wasn't just her. Tim had mentioned that he thought he had seen someone outside his house, he blew it off but now she wasn't so sure. Jon suspected all of them, no doubt.Â
Sasha shook her head, rubbing away the pathetic tears that begged to fall. She was so tired. Sick of things trying to kill her. Sick of feeling like she was on the witness stand. Sick of it all.Â
"Jon I've always felt I understood where you were coming from. But I don't understand this. I don't understand shutting everyone out because of some suspicion. I didn't almost just die only for you to label it as some failed attempt on my end. I'm your friend, sure I trust people a little more often than you do but that doesn't mean I'm plotting behind your back." The anger fell away as she scowled at nothing. "I guess I can't force you to trust me." She shook her head and started forwards again.Â
"Sasha, please don't- I- I don't, if you tell the others- listen I know I'm hard sometimes but I know something up I can feel it."
"I won't tell anyone."
"Wh-what?"Â
"I trust you. Shocking right? Well I do, and if you genuinely think you are in danger then-" Sasha shook her head. "Well I've believed worse with less so, sure, let's go with that. But I'm not willing to believe it's someone on our team ok? Leave them alone." Sasha stopped and turned. Jon was staring at her with the most relieved expression.Â
"You're serious?"
"Accuse me of killing again and this will be a drastically different conversation. Bloody hell Jon, I can't with you sometimes."
Chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
#kitsunesakii#not dead yet#OH MY GOD#SO. MUCH. WRITING#im almost sorry#especially because theres very little silly guy shown in this one#BUT I WANTED TO EXPERIMENT#i genuinely think something like this would have happened if Sasha hadn't gotten taken#and honestly i had just so much fun#like i dont care it it seems clunky or off because ive never had so mich fun writing a paranoid wet cat try and take on the#elegant golden retriever that Sasha is#tma#the magnus archives#micheal shelly#micheal the distortion#sasha james#jon sims
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TMA - Chapters 1-10: The beginning and everything I didnât expect to see
Hello, everyone.
As promised, here is the first post with my impressions regarding chapters 1-10.
Letâs not waste too much time here: there is a lot to say and Iâll leave my final impression for the end of this post. For now, let's start.
<< Main masterlist
_______________________________
MAG 1: Angler Fish
Well, thatâs not what I expected.
So this series doesn't have a continuative plot, but itâs rather a âmonster-of-the-weekâ situation. However, I donât think it will be just like that: Iâm quite sure a plot will come in the future. But since itâs not coming for now, I think the option I chose (i.e. commenting this series 10 chapters at a time) is perfect. This way, I can easily keep track of my favorite statements!
I also appreciate the small introduction. So we have a place: the Magnus Institute. I suppose this is the âlibraryâ I vaguely remembered. And we also have a person: Jonathan Sims, our maybe-protagonist. And we have Martin too! And Sasha and Tim! I have no idea who they are, but Iâm looking forward to knowing them.
All I got for now, is that Jonathan (who I will surely call Jon from now on, because his name is too long) is kind of a skeptic. ClichĂš, but I accept it: this is a horror/supernatural series, so he will probably change his mind when he will face the real shit.
And speaking of the genre, glad to know that this story is horror/supernatural. Iâm not a huge fan of horror, but I like to be surprised/scared/creeped out in creative ways.
And this first statement⊠fails to do that. Sorry to say that, but the story is kinda meh. The supernatural element is just here and itâs not very scary. Fine, the mysterious figure is probably just the bait of a supernatural shit we donât see, but itâs weak. And the association with the anglerfish isnât enough to creep me, nor creative enough to surprise me.
I hope the next statement will be better.
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MAG 2: Do Not Open
Yep, thatâs much more interesting.
I like that the wooden coffin doesnât do anything you might expect from a coffin in a supernatural story. The scratching was still kind of clichĂš, but I didnât expect the singing in the rain. Or the âdream possessionâ or whatever it was that weird power that tried to trick Mr. Gillespie into opening the coffin.
It was also kinda funny to follow his misadventures in dealing with it. And understandable too: my man doesnât want to open the weird coffin, so he will do everything to not open the weird coffin.
Honestly, same: I am a wimp and if someone delivered some weird shit in my place, I wouldnât be so stupid to go face-first into it. Curiosity might be strong, but my will to live is stronger.
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MAG 3 - Across The Street
Thatâs another interesting statement.
First, you think it will be about Graham and his journals, then thereâs the weird hypnotic table with the missing piece, then Not-Graham. There are a lot of things here and theyâre all creepy and interesting and I want to know more about them. Could there be a follow-up to this story? Or, at least, to its mysteries? It would be very cool to read another story and find the missing piece of that table. Or one of Grahamâs journals. Or to see Not-Graham again. It would be fun. I hope there are follow-ups.
About the supernatural stuff: I couldnât really understand what the arm-y thing-y was, so it wasnât exactly scary, but more⊠bizarre? And a bit meh. It was just a black arm-y thing-y after all.
What really crept me out was Not-Graham casually saying: âHey Amy, we live so close to each other, what a weird coincidence! Maybe Iâll pay you a visit.â. THAT was creepy as fuck and I loved it.
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MAG 4 - Page Turner
I vaguely remember the name Leitner, so I have high hopes we will see more of his books in the future. After all, this statement looks more like an introduction to him and his books, rather than a self-contained story about Random Weird Thing no. 247.
Maybe we wonât see Ex Altiora anymore, but other books⊠why not? Also, Jonathan knows about Leitner and asked to search more of his books, so maybe we will see more of them.
By itself, the story is good at introducing the weirdness of these books through the equally weird figure of the Keays. I feel thereâs still a lot to find out about Mary Keayâs murder, her existence, her place and her connection with Sanskrit. I want to know more about her.
And I want to know more about Gerard Keay too. Will we see him again in the future? I hope so: I feel like he has still a lot to say.
I also noticed a guy named Michael. Will we see more of him too? Is he the same Michael Iâve heard about? Or is there another Michael? Canât wait to find out.
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MAG 5 - Thrown Away
I donât think this statement is creepy, but rather, a great example of weird.
There is nothing truly scary here, only weird. And I love this kind of weird. Every new trash bag is a surprise and the surprises are not gore-y, bloody, or clichĂš with the sole purpose of shocking you. The stuff inside is harmless, just⊠immensely weird: a long paper strip covered with the Our Father prayer, a huge bag full of teeth that are all of the same tooth⊠thatâs not dangerous stuff, just weird. Unexpected. And, therefore, very cool.
The metal heart was a great choice too: just like all other findings is not disgusting nor gore-y, but it serves its purpose perfectly. You look at it and you know Alan is dead. I love it when creativity is used so well.
I also noticed there is another Michael here. Is he the same Michael mentioned in the previous story? Or another Michael? How many Michaels are in this series? XD
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MAG 6 - Squirm
Another meh statement: a mysterious girl is feeling very sick, then she basically explodes into worms. Kind of a backlash, going from the delicious, subtle weird of the previous story to the disgusting stuff of this one.
However, I can understand Mr. Hodge: if my room was packed with worms, I wouldâve burned the whole house down too.
Also, it looks like Jon knows this woman in red. Will we see Jane Prentiss again? Or more of her victims? No, of course I donât want your answers: the series will tell me ;)
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MAG 7 - The Piper
A simple war tale, starring a supernatural element, the Piper. I donât find it particularly scary, but rather a melancholic figure. Sure, itâs a bit eerie and mysterious, but not particularly interesting - not for me, at least.
The story isnât particularly captivating either. Itâs just here and it screams âfillerâ. Or maybe not? After all, Jon remembers the name Joseph Rayner, so we will see another story featuring this guy?
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MAG 8 - Burned Out
Thereâs a lot of stuff here - maybe even too much. First, Mr. Lensikâs father and fractals and math and the mysterious guy with âall the bones in his handsâ. Then Mr. Raymond Fielding and Agnes, the disappeared kid, the missing hand, the tree, the green apple with spiders⊠woah, woah, slow down! What are all these things? Should I remember all of them? Are they all important? I feel like I already forgot something while writing them down!
Honestly, this huge number of peculiar elements is very distracting, because it gets all of the readerâs attention and takes it away from the story itself. A story that, if we reduce it to basics, whatâs truly about? A man meets a ghost and pulls down a tree. Not exactly the most exciting thing ever.
Now, Iâm not saying that a story with multiple digressions is bad. It just needs an extremely good writer and A LOT of time and space to properly develop everything, because it would be too easy to âforgetâ the story and get lost into all the digressions.
So, considering these statements are all short, I would rather avoid too many elements and keep them as simple as possible, focusing more on the story itself and adding just one or two recurring elements.
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MAG 9 - A Fatherâs Love
Another meh story. Some elements are interesting, like the necklace with the hand and closed eye related to the Church of the Divine Host and the mysterious something that blows out every lightbulb. But yeah, from the moment it was mentioned that the father had a shed, I knew he was doing some supernatural circle/prayer/whatever.
A simple story, but nothing truly amazing about it.
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MAG 10 - Vampire Killer
Seriously, every time there is a meh statement, a great one follows up. And if itâs not great, itâs extremely interesting. Or, like in this case, itâs surprising.
I mean, a statement titled âVampire Killerâ? I expected the same old tale about seductive vampires burning out in the sunlight.
But nope, this story offered a new vision of vampires. Even better, it did it by putting these details into the story, in a great example of show donât tell.
I really like that the vampires' characteristics are so⊠bestial. Shark-like teeth, a leechâs tongue and no ability to talk: itâs new, itâs cool, itâs interesting and I would love to see fanarts of them (once Iâll finish the whole series).
I also appreciate that they burn like crisps, because without blood (i.e. a liquid), they dry out: so, not only it justifies why they drink blood and not eat solid food, but also why they burn so easily. Itâs cool, itâs logical, itâs creative: I love it.
Oh-oh, am I also noticing a small hint of doubt in Jonâs words? Is he starting to think these statements are not just silly stories made by insane people/mythomaniacs? Didnât expect him to start so soon, but I suppose a lot of things will happen in the near future and he needs the right state of mind to face them.
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In conclusion
My first overall impression is positive: this series looks promising and I want to read more statements. Sure, my impression is based on 10 chapters out of 200 (so basically nothing) and on all the assumptions I made while reading. I donât know if there will be a continuative plot, I donât know if the characters of these stories will return and I donât know if something huge will come in the future. I am just assuming these things, based on my experience as an âart-forms-enjoyerâ.
I just hope I am right and that, while being right about these things, the series itself will keep surprising me with creative ideas. I would be very sad if my assumptions were correct, but the quality of the statements gets worse and worse. Please, keep being creative! More surprising stories and less âmehâ stuff!
Thatâs all for now. Iâll come back very soon with the next post about chapters 11-20.
>> Next post
(How about a coffee? â)
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MAG 86 here we goooo
Ok so I actually listened to this like a few days ago but I never got round to looking at the transcript but HERE I AM
God this is the blanket never did anything one
He says tucked in so fucking menacingly like Jesus Christ man
TIM MY LOVE
I can't get that one post out of my head that says how Tim was the furthest from being taken by the Eye cause he keeps tripping up on pronunciations and stuff in statements that other archival staff wouldnt honestly it's such a genius take
Oh shit this is getting really long I'll add in a read more
God I love how he's rebelling in every sense, he's doing the bare minimum, he's literally warning people away from it
It's kind of interesting the way he always thought the statement stuff was stupid but in the whole of season one and a lot of season two he managed to hide his distaste pretty well, like even when he lashed out at Jon about the Prentiss incident, he still didn't say that the statements were stupid, but he's saying it behind his back - maybe some part of him knew that Jon needed the statements to work and some part of him still felt for him enough to not point that out
He's kinda dramatic with it as well but I feel like in more of a self aware way than jon
You can feel his distaste honestly the statement just sounds wrong coming from him, which is interesting cause I didn't think that about when Martin did it
So he's mad at the fact that he put effort into a job that he wasn't even that comfortable with in the first place and now he's trapped in? Not about the monsters??
Jesus Christ Tim being a bit of a dick to melanie
HE BLAMES MARTIN????? Damn bro you weren't there how could you tell he didn't do it properly??
I think he's mad at himself for not being there and deflecting it on to martin
She likes that it's quiet!!! That's cute
Martin's not big on change AH neurodivergent vibes
All the archival staff are literally queer and neurodivergent you can't change my mind
Also the fact that he thinks that's the biggest reason why martin doesn't want Melanie around, not the Horrors and the same reason as Tim
I think Tim is refusing to think that Martin might see the situation in the same way as him because if he does then it means Tim's way of dealing might not be the best way and that's an unacceptable thought to him
Suspicious and resentful - my man is self aware I think he knows the way his path is going (hurtling towards destruction) but is too stuck shaking his fist at god to try and get out or he's sort of known his whole life that this is where he was supposed to end up, a terrible fate created by his own two hands that dug their own way down to rock bottom and he's just so tired of trying to do anything about it that he's just accepted it
SASHA OH GOD
Wow seeing firsthand the effects of the stranger, the way neither Tim nor Melanie can remember the real Sasha, but Tim has to live with the fact that he didn't notice and Melanie has to live with the fact that she did, but can't prove it
WHO AM I EVEN SAD FOR
AUGH I THOUGHT SOMEONE MADE THAT UP I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CANON OH GOD
He lost his FRIEND and he DIDN'T REALISE and he STILL DOESN'T KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH AUGH
Oh I wonder why he left the tape running? I'd think he would've forgotten to turn it off but if so I feel like he'd have that shocked moment of remembering which he didn't
Maybe he wanted proof of the conversation? Maybe it was a warning to anyone listening to the tapes? See firsthand how terrible it is at the Magnus Institute so you don't work here? I dunno
Ha I had to ask my lovely mutual @melandrops to explain what a marker was
Oh god honestly this statement fucked me up I completely understand why people hate it I hate it
I was so scared of the dark as a kid and the idea of being reduced to that state of lack of awareness and vulnerability is actually terrifying
Also the dude dying in the blanket???? Ew ew ew
Love the fact that tma doesn't just go with a oh shit I forgot a torch so it was pitch black kinda horror but the I brought a torch, I even brought spare batteries but it still did nothing which in my opinion is even scarier
Oh god her whispering the blanket never did anything that was horrifying
Melanie was actually so good at giving the statement girl really got into it
I was also talking to @melandrops about archivist!Melanie cause I think that would be really interesting... she'd definitely bring a more proactive vibe to the role...
It's interesting to think that Melanie and Jon hated each other at first sort of because they're so alike? It's like the we are made of the same stuff (derogatory)
Love how she just checks out the dead guy
The way she's denying it even though she's literally had paranormal experiences before that's so Jon core she would be a great archivist
JON????
Oh shit I just realised he's labelled as Archivist...when did that happen??
That's so funny he's like bitch maybe I do have reason to kill you
Hmm nice touch of Melanie being like do you guys not want me cause I'm a girl?? Is this misogyny??? Good guess but unfortunately it's worse
It's quite nice that Jon's trying to save her even though the meetings about helping him and her quitting would mean he'd lose the one informant he might have in the institute
Shot in the leg by a ghost in India????
Ha Tim hates you and Martin's probably being watched
Love how Tim's hatred for Jon is so visceral and known that they don't even bother watching him
I bet Elias would delight in knowing about Martin's little crush on Jon and how Jon actually hated him in season one and then how their relationship progresses he'd thrive on the drama and the angst the little bastard
Ok ok it's good that he's on the right track, he guesses it was elias
Wait the whole murder was on tape... WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT TAPE??? DID ELIAS TAKE IT??? COULD IT BE USED AS EVIDENCE???
YES MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (info style) BUT ALSO NO MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (web style)
#gonna be honest guys#i did have to scroll through cute animal videos for a good 20 minutes after#just to calm myself down#anyhoo#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin k blackwood#tim stoker#sasha james#not sasha#elias bouchard#melanie king#mag 86#tucked in#the blanket never did anything#tma headcanons#tma reactions#the eye#the dark#the stranger#cult listens to tma
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for the WIP ask game: 4. Knights Posting > Tortall > Gender Nonsense (opposite edition)
Hi! Thanks for the ask! I answered 4 here, but Iâve taken the liberty to pick the fic I actually forgot to put on the list (feel free to send another ask if thereâs something else that caught your eye!) and also include another snippet from Gender Nonsense (opposite edition)
George Buys Alan a Prostitute AU:
Technically I forgot about this one because it does not have actual written prose yet (hence no snippet) but it lives rent free in my brain and also my dms with @mkaugust.
Early In the Hand of the Goddess, Alanna is seething with jealousy over Jon sleeping around, and George has done his light propositioning and come up empty. However, heâs a sex positive, trans inclusive kind of guy written in the height of second wave feminism so ofc he thinks Alanna should spread her wings and have the same (sexy) opportunities that everyone else gets. Now, thereâs obviously the complication of Gender (for both participants), but thankfully heâs the Rogue and between himself and Rispah, they can actually guarantee discretion, so he sits Alanna down in private (in the post war timeskip, maybe? extremely awkward bandage to the Goodbye Kissâs potential effects on their friendship) and says okay I have not changed my mind still and I donât expect to, however if you wanted to lose your virginity like the less romantically inclined young lads often do, I can promise your secret would be safely guarded by any of Rispahâs people, and youâd have your choice of gender(s).
And initially Alanna says no because of who she is as a person but then Jon is who he is as a person and, well. Sheâs back in Georgeâs rooms within a day.
(eventually, she and Jon do get together still, and Jon is a lot less jealous about the whole thing once he sees her experience is a LOT better than. well. any of the other uptight ladies heâs been meeting. Alanna is less impressed, but does love being better at things than her partners so it works out.)
And also at some point, possibly not until late in Lioness Rampant, they end up at a party or meeting with Jon, Alanna, George, Alannaâs ex fuckbuddy, Rispah, Myles, and Eleni, which is delightfully awkward.
Gender Nonsense (opposite edition)
âGeorge, you havenât seen the ladies at court. Iâd have better luck marrying Gary.â He was whining. He knew he was whining. It wouldnât do him any good, and he knew that too, but perhaps if heâd gotten all his whining out here, with someone he loved and trusted, someone far away from the inner workings of court politicking but who understood the game, heâd be able to stand another day of it. The day after that was anybodyâs guess. âDonât think Gary solves any of your problems, other than perhaps not being bad to look at.â âNot as bad as some.â
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Ok so to warm my heart a little from the coldness of knowing I will have to wait 2 years to see dear Rhaenyra again I have started watching Game of Thrones,I was not very fond of it when it came out however now I am older and just desiring to binge watch anything to get myself to sleep and I have a few thoughts I need to get out of my head or maybe opinions,it might me a little over the top since of course I am a lesbian drama queen and I live to complain,im only in season 3 almost ending the season...
I fucking hate that kid bran,he takes soooo much screen time just to retell dreams and look like that snarky kid that throws random stuff on the ground in Walmart with a stupid look on his face (I really Wish Jamie would have killed his ass)
Melissandre is the most interesting character of the series,so witty and cruel in the best way,I was shocked when she killed that king with her baby demon and absolutely smitten,I love cruel women.
Jon Snow is the most boring character I have EVER witnessed in the story of television and trust me I've been there since Xena Warrior Princess graced the screens,just no goals,no path,no big dick or small dick energy,no energy AT ALL,just a big fat ugly Hero complex that I just can't stand because the actor has the same expression everytime no matter what happens,even having a boner with a cute girl cuddling his dick he is đ like gtfo of my face
Cersei is second to Melissandre in the scale of bad bitches,she is just so fucking resented and hot,everything she says sounds like wind chimes even if she is sending a child to his death,I cant help but want her to hate fuck me and call me a fagg0t and then tell me Im the worst fuck she's ever had and just use me again.
Dragons...Should I say more? I started the series of House of the Dragon because I just love dragons,and a particular scene is just edged in my mind like iron,Daenerys saving her little dragons from that sorcerers dungeon and their cute little faces watching her almost like trying to say "Momma! You're here! we missed you!" I think is the cutest scene ever.
Daenerys...She serving cunt,she ate and licked the plate,she served and left no crumbs,the director said cut and she heard CUNT and went with it, she caused a motherquake of 9.99 in the cunt scale,she's mother, and no other than the Mother of Dragons, I just love her,she is what Cleopatra VII was before hollywood found her and turned her into a makeup propaganda fashionista, a true strategist and conqueror.
Kal Drogo,I just mourned his death,he was so cute and murderous, i wept real tears for sweet Daenerys, I think the actor was really good and he needed more screen time, his scenes were charged with masculity and power,something we really lack these days in television.
Sansa, she is a beauty,the kind of beauty fantasy writers try to describe and there is just no way that human exists and then there is her...But she is so fucking traumatized and set aside just like every other woman in that universe,hell,even in life,I feel for her...And also wanna date her,i won't lie
Aria is a tough little woman,I think they really need to step up her action scenes because I think she serves well as a hope in the darkness kind of character however I do wish the actress was more prone to make a proper action sequence ala Eleven from Stranger Things,you can say what you want about miss Millie Bobby Brown but she is one of the few actresses willing to make many changes ln television for years to come with her characters.
Jamie Lannister is an interesting fighter and I wish it was possible to swap his fight scenes with Aria since i think it was proper giving the context,anyway he has good fighting sequences that I think were ment for someone else.
The sex scenes... This was a series HBO really set the bar high for nudity,there is so much nudity,sometimes unnecessary and cruel for the actresses involved and at the same time, is not surprising considering this series was made by two straight men,this always happens in the industry although these days is harder due to the constant intimacy coordination, but yeah in those times I can't imagine how unerving it was for actresses to bare it all for a couple of coins in a popular series.
Enough with my ramblings,I declare myself a fan of game of thrones only for Daenerys and her cute little dragons đ
#daenerys stormborn#game of thrones#thoughts#dragons#ramblings#sansa stark#cersei lannister#jamie lannister#jon snow#melissandre#the red witch
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Moby Dick at the Met
I love the novel. I really want to love this opera. But I don't. I like it, but I don't love it.
Unsurprisingly, this was a much better production than the one in Pittsburgh a few years ago. The vastness of the orchestra does the music some favors. The effect of the Met's humongous Chorus is phenomenal. (When I talked w/ people at intermission, it was the choral parts I praised the most.)
The staging is very good -- the walls that the seamen climb on (as seen in the curtain call above) work astonishingly well as individual whale boats. The dramatic opening of the fold down portion of this set is great and the way it closes up Ahab at the end as the whale swallows him is fantastic. (We don't get a vision of Ahab caught on the side of Moby Dick.) And then his appearance out from under this opening for his curtain call was pretty thrilling.
Though the way they float Pip in the air to show floating along by himself after he's tossed out of a whale boat just led to audience titters. This inability to capture what it feels like to be lost and defenseless in the ocean pre-sages the underwhelming climax.
But I wish the music were better -- the portions for the Greenhorn & Queeqeg are good, and their almost 'love' duet when they're talking about travelling together after the voyage is excellent. But Ahab's music isn't as fiercefully mesmerizing as it should be -- I don't feel caught up in the mania the way I do reading the book. Though Brandon Jovanovich tries as hard as he can and I don't see how anyone could do better. (maybe Jon Vickers, but he's dead, and he'd change some words.) It doesn't help that we get Ahab in the first scene -- perhaps if we got his pegleg walking sound w/o seeing him, we'd have a sense of awe when we do see him. And Ahab should be a BASS, not a heldentenor! (just think of what someone like Rene Pape could do with this type of role.)
The conflict between Ahab and Starbuck feels ill-matched --Starbuck's music is to tentative for us to really care about him, though he's obviously the most rational leader on board. (We didn't get the star, Peter Mattei--maybe he could have made Starbuck more tragic and less pathetic/inconsequential.)
And then there's the ending -- I always remember racing through those chapters--they're so thrilling. But here, the staging is such that what exactly is happening as the boats are attacked is really unclear. We know something is, but w/o anything but an awful animation (that makes him look more like a giant goldfish) we don't get the indestructible sense of Moby Dick -- he's almost supposed to be a figment of the imagination, which is part of the problem. The old etchings from the book give us one idea of him, but even those are so abstract that we can fill in our minds an image of what Melville is describing. An actual puppet or stage thing would probably look silly, but instead we get nothing at all. And the cataclysmic destruction by Moby Dick is mostly opaque.
It's not just the staging though -- the music should be cataclysmic here too and it's not. It's just kinda louder -- I can think of lots of symphonic and opera music that captures a climax better than this does. It's so banal of an ending -- and the almost joke of using 'Call Me Ishmael' as the last line of the opera (when he's calling out to the captain of the Rachel to say his name) doesn't help either.
I still enjoy it, especially for the choral sections. But it's only just good (and doesn't do very well in comparison to Billy Budd, which admittedly has a more archetypal operatic conflict amongst the three principals).
Met Opera, Karen Kamensek conducting Jake Heggie's Moby Dick, Tuesday, 25 March 2025
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heres the garfield essay. im really only posting it because its been haunting my drafts since May 2024. fair warning: this is obnoxiously long
----

I have NOT seen enough hate on this movie.
Like I've heard OF the critiques but I haven't heard any of them first hand. Which is great cause that means I just get to make them myself.
Fair warning!!! This is stupidly long
If I really wanted to I could make hours of content ripping this movie to shreds and leaving nothing left but it's pitiful malformed bones.
To fully preface, I heard it was bad before I went to go see it. Maybe going in blind would have changed how I felt, but I promise really did want to enjoy it. I love Garfield, I wasn't super into the comic strip but I grew up watching Garfield shows, movies, specials, basically there is a Garfield-shaped place in my heart.
Ideally, this would be an internet friendly numbered list but since all of the problems are deeply interlinked it's hard to divide into different points, but let's try anyways!
i. The IP
The movie is awful at hiding the fact it's using the IP as a cash grab. People like Garfield, if we make a Garfield movie, people will come see it. To be fair, they were right. I wouldn't have seen this movie otherwise but it sheds light on a bigger problem we've been seeing for a long time. We have so many remakes and sequels because they can guarantee a fanbase. New, original ideas are a risk and not worth investing in. This is why all movies these days feel so lifeless. This is no longer someone's passion project, this is a product to sell.
Honestly, it's a well known thing at this point. Going into depth here would just be a disservice to all the people who could say it better than me. No need to dwell.
But why is THIS movie worth mentioning? The new money-focused way of film making is no secret, they don't HAVE to hide it, but the movie seems INSISTENT on making you acutely aware of its brand (and deals) every single frame.
The opening scene having a close up on Jon's Sony headphones, the Fed Ex Truck at the end, the Walmart app, the Netflix Spoof (spoofing would be excusable if the rest of it wasn't so blatant), the OLIVE GARDEN*, etc, etc. It just kept going.
I've heard the same critique of the Sonic Movie, but personally I didn't mind it then. The Olive Garden not-ad was at least wrapped into a joke I found decently funny. It's annoying in concept but didn't ruin my experience.
Now Garfield is no stranger to merch, you can buy a Garfield branded (insert anything you care enough to find). There is an OBSCENE amount of Garfield merch. The movie having a couple brand deals isn't totally left field, however, that's usually merchandise you buy AFTER you've seen, an hopefully enjoyed, the movie. (I have a lot of feelings about companies releasing merch for a piece of media pre-debut)
It's one thing when it's in a live-action show or movie. Those products exist in real life, this is a realistic setting, my immersion isn't broken. (Don't worry it can still be blatant and annoying)
Knowing a team of animators had to model, render, and animate every single brand deal is ABSOLUTELY immersion breaking.
Quite Frankly. This is an old and retired point and a better reflection of modern society than the ways this movie personally wronged me.
ii. It's a bad Garfield Movie
The main thing I've heard mentioned is that if it was a regular animated cat movie, it would be fine**, but it's a bad Garfield Movie.
This is hard to break down cause most of it I plan on going over later. The first two points were the most obvious so I wanted to get them out of the way.
To summarize, it butchers every single aspect of Garfield that made it so beloved in the first place. The characters, the dynamics, the themes, all of it. It just isn't Garfield.
This is where things get messy.
iii. Garfield (The Characters)
One really big issue I had with this movie, as a movie and not as a Garfield entry, is that it doesn't know how to have flawed characters. As I break down this movie that will be a reoccurring theme.
Garfield is a HORRIBLY flawed character. He is selfish, lazy, unsympathetic and borderline cruel. These traits are shown in strip after strip, there's really no point in debating it.
The thing is, THE POINT if you will, is that we love him anyways. He is the part of us we all relate to without actually being able to express. He is as honest as we wish we could get away with and as lazy as we all wish we were allowed.
Taking a step back, I get it. It's a kids movie and it's iffy to have the titular character be such an awful role model. Once again, Garfield is continuously awful and abusive to the people around him (I am not hating, but you can't deny it). Toning is down for the sake of audience makes sense to a degree, but the thing is no one MADE you make a Garfield movie. You CHOSE to use an IP with an asshole MC. If you didn't want Garfield, then DONT USE GARFIELD.
It makes the MC wishy washy and hard to read. He is mean and "real" but... not too mean, cause that would be bad. He is manipulative, but not too manipulative.... he's still nice to them... actually you only ever see him being nice... he just SAYS he's mean and then never shows it.
Worth noting, if the movie wanted to reinvent Garfield in that direction, I wouldn't mind. The narrative of Garfield being all bark and no bite would be sweet, that he's all "mean and nasty" but can't help himself from being kind to the people he cares about. It would be a fresh take, the problem is the movie can't COMMIT to that narrative and you have to just ASSUME that's what they meant in order to find any satisfaction in it.
iii.i. Odie
He gets a little subsection all to himself.
Odie in the movie also suffers from no longer resembling his original comic self. ESPECIALLY in his relationship with Garfield.
In the source material, Garfield is NASTY to him. He's always kicking him off the table, insulting him, and throwing him under the bus at every possible chance.
Odie is a drooling idiot who falls for it every time cause he's a "stupid dog".
Once again, I get it. Having Garfield beat up his weird kind of brother is a weird message to send out to children. Toning it down isn't really the problem.
Actually, seeing them get along is really sweet and was fun to see.
But he perfectly shows off the main point here, Garfield introduces him by saying something along the lines of Odie being his useless lackey. If this was done right, it would have been fine, great even! This constant contrast between how Garfield SAYS it is and how he ACTUALLY acts. It would be a fun gag.
INSTEAD, it feels like Garfield just... forgot... that he hates Odie. As the movie goes on he isn't mean to him or talks down to him even once. If this had been intentional, like "Oh they didn't used to get along but now they do" or "Garfield is nicer than he seems" ORR "LITERALLY ANY ACTUAL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT" it would have been great! A good spin on a classic character!
This is a problem with other characters I'll discuss, but Odie is special.
In a weird way it feels like the writers are trying to apologize to Odie for his original existence. Odie is not only treated with respect for once, but he's suddenly smart and always coming in clutch, (which would work as a gag if he was a pre-established idiot). Suddenly everyone loves him and he's the favorite and he is a fast thinker with every solution.
In the movie, Odie is pretty removed from the plot in a way. He is always coming in with a solution (like the tree rope or the cheese scene) but his actual character never gets to shine. He's still very clearly a plot device with almost no real personality or motivation.
These factors together make Odie feel like some weird self-insert oc that isn't allowed to do any wrong. The whole team feels very "And Bumblebee!" (in his defense, it's hard to see which one of them is Bumblebee, but we will get to that)
iii.ii. Jon
He also deserves his own subsection.
Full disclosure, a lot of my thoughts and feelings about Jon and his relationship with Garfield are inspired by the 'What The Internet Did to Garfield" video essay that's decently popular and also seeing the Gorefield phenomenon happen in real time online.
As a horror fan, it's endlessly fascinating to me.
However, I was not really expecting the movie to open that can of worms, (it's a lot of worms). It would have been COOL, sure, but I'm not so disillusioned to think themes like eternal punishment, and the artist being overtaken by the creation, to grace my children's movie.
But it still was jarring to see Garfield not be mean to him LIKE EVEN ONCE. He's a little inconsiderate sure, (like 6000 worth of takeout) but overall they get along.
Now, even though I am an AVID fan of Gorefield-esque content, I LOVE seeing them bond.
I just need to bring up this strip. It means so much to me.

So even though I enjoy the torment, I love seeing the other side of the coin where they are family. Even though they never stop pointing out each other's flaws but Garfield never runs away and Jon never throws him out. Every additional year the comic runs, you can be sure that they still live under the same roof and stay together.
It's timeless, really.
And if you think about it, with how present it is in the comics and the origin of it, Jon and Garfields relationship is pretty much the central point of the comic.
I dont hate the way Jon is represented in the movie. He's still a cartoonist (which I thought was really sweet and I appreciated) and he isn't so boyfailure at every single one of his endeavors.
The trailer and the opening scene is really promising. Jon and Garfield origin story, getting to see how they met and why they both needed each other at that time, seeing them play off each other and grow together.
However, after the first 15 minutes or so, Jon is ENTIRELY swept to the side. He's dropped to B plot (at best!!!! more like D Plot) almost INSTANTLY.
It's disappointing.
Not only does the narrative not care about him, but after the opening, GARFIELD doesn't care about him. It seems like Jon no longer holds ANY emotional weight in his life. GARFIELD DOESN'T NEED HIS DAD TO SHOW UP AFTER YEARS!!!! JON IS HIS DAD!!!!!
It's somehow even sadder than the eternal tormenting angle.
IV. VIC.
I hate him so much. He's literally the worst. He's the hardest to rag on because I don't know where to begin. Overall,
He doesn't fit.
But it's so much more than that.
Let's start of the surface.
IV.I. I hate the way he looks
Like, he looks fine, I guess, but GRAHHH

He haunts me.
As an individual character, it's fine. He's big and scraggly and also... Looks like Garfield. It's pretty easy to read WHO he is and WHAT he's like.
But he's a little too ... human... like he doesn't move like a cat. Garfield walks on two feet and is fairly anthro but still has cat anatomy and occasionally sleeps or walks like a cat.
He does share this traits with this other side character dog we get to see, so he's not totally singled out but what REALLY bothers me is that it minimizes the only concrete Garfield character trait that we got to keep. That he's fat.
Vic is NOTICABLY bigger, and by a lot. Which makes sense in a Dad = Bigger visual reading. But it just makes one of Garfields central traits... not mean anything. There's even a gag where Vic can fit through a vent and Garfield can't, which would be funnier if it didn't point out such an obvious flaw in the writing. If Vic also ate a lot and that was like a special traits they shared than MAYBE, but no. Vic has been seen struggling to feed himself and his kid. He Is poor and turned to a life of crime just to eat. AND Vic even makes fun of Garfield for being fat and how food motivated he is.
----
Okay I lost steam and am never going to finish this. I dont remember the other half of my argument and remembering would require me to re-watch the movie (I WILL NOT BE DOING THAT) so wrapping this up a year later.
Only a half-argument because turns out I was totally wrong and a fake Garfield fan but wanted to mention it anyways
I always thought Garfield walking on two feet was because he was so domesticated and human-like. And that's why Arlene walked on all fours. (my point was that Vic SHOULDN'T be on two feet but i looked into it and turns out there is some alley cats who are bipedal so ... whatev....)
**ALSO MENTION GARFIELD ALREADY HAS A MOVIE ABOUT REUNITING WITH HIS ALLEY CAT PARENT AND IT WAS DONE BETTER THE FIRST TIME
and my the only other argument i remember IF YOU WANTED TO HAVE FARM ANIMALS... YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO MAKE NEW HALF-BAKED OCs.... GARFIELD AND FRIENDS HAD A WHOLE CAST OF THEM R I G H T T H E R E. (this was unfortunately really just wishful thinking on my part. I remember getting really excited in the theater when they mentioned a farm just to be really disappointed. I'm willing to admit this was just personal preference. JUST SAYING IF UR GOING TO NOSTALGIA BAIT-)
i just miss them sometimes (WHAT? IS IT A CRIME??)
anyways if ur rooting around looking for hate on this movie, I hope this will suffice.
I wrote most of this in a blind rage when i got home from the movie so. its very passionate but not very well done. I went to see it with a pretty girl so it was still a good time, I just wish we went to go see a better movie :P
#Garfield 2024#garfield#the garfield movie#the pretty girl liked it so#the gorefield section is unnecessary#but i watched the video essay with her like the night before i moved away so watching the movie with her was special to me#WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE SPECIAL IF-#i miss my pretty girl#lesbianism#pretentious asshole posting
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at this point in current canon, can nia nal be considered a superhero? iâm talking about the comics, she is undoubtedly one on the show. is she in anti-hero territory?
i know waller pushed nia to do the things she did in ss:dream team BUT she is still responsible for her own actions. she chose to protect her town at the expense of gamorra. if she didnât get the rest of the team through the barrier, nothing bad wouldâve happened to the gamorrians. i know nia later tried stoping the rest of the team from letting waller in, but too little, too late?
she helped jay and jon liberate the people back in soke. she saw what bendix did to them. she hugged one of the victims and said âitâs okay. itâs over.â after that, she chose to bring an equally awful person into their city.
i understand why nia worked with waller. her motives are very clear. she just wanted to protect her people, even if it meant someone elseâs might suffer. her actions werenât born out of place of cruelty. she is a compassionate person. had her life be at stake, she wouldâve never done what she did.
i also think nia is somewhat responsible for what happened to sara. not directly, no. but the domino effect of the situation got sara killed and nia was the one to get bizzaro into the city. nia lost her mother not too long ago, and now she is the reason one of her friends lost their mother too. and he just got her back. iâm not even sure i want them to make up, if we need to be honest, but weâll see how their interactions go. i might change my mind on this one.
the narrative seems to be presenting nia as the hero who keeps getting screwed over, but shouldnât a hero stick to their morals no matter what? they should not be susceptible to blackmail. itâs hard, yes, when you know refusing to work with a villain might get your family hurt, but heroes make tough decisions.
anyways, by no means am i saying she is a villain. but i was thinking maybe she is dipping her toes into anti-hero territory? i hope i donât come across as someone who doesnât like nia. i like her, i find her character interesting and iâm excited to see where she goes from here. and at the end of the day, she is 18 and just started her superhero journey so thereâs always time to learn and be better.
iâm open to discussion. if you disagree with me, feel free to let me know. if you agree with me, feel free to let me know. i want someone to discuss ss:dream team with!!!
#nia nal#jay nakamura#buddy iâm sorry your mom got killed#iâm upset too#but yk we never saw her dead body#so you never know#she might turn out to be alive again#but that should be after jay and nia throw hands
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i finished adwd. i also read the preview chapters for twow.
why did jon have to die right when i started liking his character :/ iâm sure heâll be back bc iâve already been spoiled for this and like everyone says heâs gonna warg back to life. him stannis and tyrion are the ceos of having terrible pr. like what he was doing was not wrong at all but heâs just not good at dealing with people. to be fair the odds are stacked against him but telling everyone IN A SPEECH heâs gonna ride to winterfell was the same level of stupidity as ned in kings landing. i do want him to clear his name though. at least unlike ned he was doing what is best for the people. whereas nedâŠhe really didnât need to be doing all that forâŠrobert? his sense of duty? what was the reason?
anyway daenerys has become one of my favourites i never really cared for her pov that much in the previous books except maybe agot but she becomes such a strong person in adwd. i like how her storyline parallels jon a lot like theyâre both attempting to lead the best they can in a compassionate way and making a lot of mistakes bc theyâre so young and then they both âdieâ at the end. tbh im really hoping she can get away from khal jhaqo but i did see that mago will become an important character in the next book so i doubt it. maybe sheâll take over their khalasar that would be kind of slay. the one thing i donât want her to do is join up with victarion or euron like euron for obvious reasons but victarion needs to die too. heâs a leech that thinks heâs a king. I have somewhat changed my mind about some of the Greyjoy pov characters like all that didnât need to happen to aeron or Theon or Asha who has grown on me a lot. but like also this is the culmination of their culture, could they expect any better? Aeron is still yapping abt the old way like dude euron is the old way. The ultimate form of the old way. and ngl quentyn is kind of an idiot. Dumber than Jon, dumber than Ned, almost as dumb as Theon but at least Theon has the excuse of he was kinda screwed no matter what he just happened to choose the most painful option. Tbh I was kinda hoping he could do it itâs a little disappointing but rip in peace. Quentyns moron friends pissed me off though never talk shit about the queen. What kind of dumbass name is Drinkwater girl fuck you
also i was talking shit abt cersei last book but i hated the walk of shame. it was nasty. very very nasty thing to do to someone. seeing her conversation with kevan in the epilogue made me sad. cersei shouldnât be like that she should be an evil paranoid bitch thatâs who she is đą they took away her fire. iâm sure sheâs just biding her time though. Nonetheless Cersei character development is đ«¶đœ
also iâm not gonna lie i hope the jon connington/aegon stuff gets shut down quickly i donât care for them and theyâre getting in the way of daenerys future rule. they were introduced too late like who do they even think they are. Basically Victorian 2.0 I liked aegon better when he was a dead baby. tbh iâm actually hoping the people of Westeros form a democracy or something but baby steps. then again all this death needs to be worth something like the system has to change by the end. iâm kind of hoping all the female pov characters inherit the world but daenerys on top of course.
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I need something cute, like Steve getting a glimpse into the future and just seeing everything he's ever wanted. A big house full of kids, it's loud and busy, Toys scattered around. Then he just sees bug in all her glory. She's not dressed up or anything. Wearing pj's and sitting on the couch surrounded by a gaggle of little Harringtons. Some look like her, some look like him, maybe one who's too little to tell. Older ones sitting across the floor. Everyone's doing their own thing but all together in the same room. Everything feels warm and cozy. No more fighting for their lives, or worrying about what's gonna happen next. They're safe, surrounded by love that they created.
I imagine it like when Nancy comes back around Steve feels confused about his feelings ( Steve and Nancy never really had a friend phase like Steve and bug did, so I feel like they have trouble acting like friends around each other. It always lands into flirting territory and this might be confusing for the both of them.) And then he just gets hit with this vision and it makes him wanna cry. All he's ever wanted right in front of him but out of reach. When he'd get out of the upside he'd basically throw himself at bug. Any confusion is out the window and he knows what he wants.
ALSO, I feel like the jug reunion will be so good. I know season four took a lot away from Jon's character but I feel like it was needed. He saw his younger brother dead, his mom go crazy, planned a funeral BY HIMSELF ( and bug), he's almost died a million times. He deserved a break. He deserves to be a teenager and smoke weed, to forget about college for a minute. I feel like it helped him kinda go back to his old self, or maybe become someone new entirely that's a mixture of his two selves. Bugs tired when he comes back from California. She's been through hell and back and now she gets to see her old friend again. She gets to pretend like nothing has happened. Like she didn't almost die, like she hasn't been cursed or plagued with nightmares. She gets to relax and distract herself from everything that's happening around her. Don't get me wrong she's Happy, she loves Steve and she wouldn't give those memories up for the world, but she missed Jonathan. Everythings fucked but when bug and bee are together it's okay, they feel like everything will be okay. I feel like after everything that happened with vecna she'd feel homesick if that makes sense? She's way too stressed out and just wants to go home, but homes changed. Having Jonathan there would definitely help.
honestly what i adore about bug and jon is their childish innocence they still have together. the world is ending and theyve had the worst fucking three years of their lives but the second theyre together its bearable again.
i like to think of them as that feeling we all had as children, where we played superhero or tag or hide and seek, and the thrill and invincibility that followed after an exhilarating game with your best friend. your knees may be scrapped from falling, or maybe the dark closet you were hiding in began to scare you, but the moment youre back with your best friend all the fear and worries disappear because how couldnt they ? youre seven and your best friend is your favorite person in the entire world.
also you make such an interesting point about nancy and steve never JUST being friends. i never even considered that and now may have to rethink my pure hatred for that season 4 plotpoint (thats assuming the duffer bros even had that tidbit in mind). i think it adds such a nice layer to everything, so we shall see !!
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đ â a childhood memory. and đȘ â a scary memory. for jon
walk down memory lane
đ â a childhood memory.
Jon is nine years old the first time he works the fields. The land belongs to Granny, but Mr. Thompson leases this part of it to grow his wheat. Granny quotes that idle hands are the devil's workshop, and Jon knows he's been idle during the tail end of this spring - with her sick, he's been learning out of workbooks for the most part. He's worked in their garden and helped with their meals, at the least, but hadn't done a good job at either.
So it's good that he's out here with his shirtsleeves sticking to his arms in the morning June heat. He doesn't want idle hands, not at all. He sits up on the small platform next to Mr. Thompson, the old combine harvester rattling over the field and jolting his bones. The occasional piece of chaff flies up into his face, making him flinch. There's no noise but the grinding roar of machinery, and that suits Jon just fine. He doesn't know how to talk to most people anyways.
"I've got a son about your age, Jonathan. Name's Connor," Mr. Thompson says after a while. Jon can hardly hear him through his earplugs. "Wish he'd come out and learn the trade like you."
Jon nods.
"You ever run into him? I know you're takin' care of Mrs. Keeny, but if you ever go into Brooklet like the other kids..." Mr. Thompson trails off. Or just gets quiet enough that the combine engine overpowers him. Jon's not sure.
"We only go for groceries," Jon supplies.
"Right. Well, if you ever see him, say hello. He needs a good influence like you."
They've reached the end of the row. Mr. Thompson turns the wheel, setting them back eastwards. Jon wonders what makes someone a good influence. He knows what makes people bad influences; Granny's taught him well about that. Other children aren't raised right, so they raise hell instead. That's why he isn't allowed to speak to them, and why he just goes to worship instead of Sunday school.
He shields his eyes from the sun with a hand and looks out at the field in silence.
đȘ â a scary memory.
Fear's always been a strange thing for Jon. He used to be scared of the dark, of lightning strikes, of God's wrath, of his Granny's disappointment and what followed. It had pecked at the inside of his skull like a chick in its egg, wanting to get out.
Now it doesn't, or maybe it had managed to escape. He still feels the hummingbird-tremor of terror in his heart, or the nausea of anxiety in his stomach, but his mind is perfectly clear. Whenever fear strikes, it's often as if he's a passenger in his own body.
Bo's cornered him in the boy's washroom again. Jon's grown almost a head taller than him, but the other boy's twice as wide with the meaty frame of a star linebacker. Puberty and high school havenât changed a thing about them otherwise.
"Saw you looking at my girl," Bo begins.
Jon had been. It's hard not to look at Sherry, and he knows he's not the only one that does it. She's beautiful. He wonders why Bo doesn't go after the other boys, considering that they go right past looking into commenting. Maybe it's due to the familiarity the two of them have, or his looks, or-
Bo's fist slams directly into his stomach. Jon wheezes and braces against the tiled wall. His heart's in his throat. His mind is still clear. He looks down his nose with lidded eyes and is rewarded with another blow to his ribs. He'd have something to say, if he had the breath for it.
Fear's a protective reflex. He wonders what it means to lack it. Presumably something like the present scenario.
"Can't even scream," Bo mutters eventually, stepping back. His Adam's apple works and he spits a wad of phlegm at Jon's chest. It lands wetly on the third button down from his collar.
When the other boy's finally gone, Jon prods at his ribs with the same detached interest he'd used to dissect a frog last year. Nothing seems broken. He can see his pulse pounding as he wipes the spit away with a paper towel, but it doesn't reach his head.
He has two more class periods to attend before the end of the day, and he'll be late if he hangs around in here any longer. He straightens his shirt, tucking it back into his slacks, and strides off to retrieve his books from his locker.
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Bookshelf wrapped
A list of books I've read in 2023 for statistical and archival purposes and also because I like to catalog things (and tumblr let me down by not having a year in review this year).
If any of my followers would feel inspired to do a similar thing please tag me, I'd love to see what you've read!
SĆuĆŒÄ
ce do wszystkiego, Joanna Kuciel-Frydryszak. I love reading the first-hands accounts of history, esp from regular/lower class people. So it's worth to read just for it. There was something lacking for it to be a really good reportage tbh.
Fire and Blood, George R.R. Martin. Really nice if you're an asoiafhead. Can't really recommend to someone who hadn't read asoiaf before. Also I wish GRRM would focus on finishing the saga instead of starting new projects. But can't really blame him for pursuing side stories.
Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer. Keep thinking about that redditor guy who said this book inspired him to try and prepare to climb Mount Everest in one year. Maybe reddit pisses on poor even more than tumblr.
Dune Messiah, Frank Herbert. I must say that of (5) Dune books I've read so far, this has the higher amount of what I consider Dune's fatal flaws. Mostly unnecessarily convoluted dialogues that end up being borderline incomprehensible. It also underutilizes very interesting characters, like Scytale and Mohiam. I would give extra points for Paul's ending, but then I've read Children of Dune.
The True Deceiver, Tove Jansson. Just fine. Even better if you like winter.
Children of Dune, Frank Herbert. Way better than Messiah, can't hold a candle to the original Dune. I feel like some stuff was retconned in this part, concerning Alia's and the twins' abilities. Esp. Alia's arc could use more foundation set in the previous parts.
God-Emperor of Dune, Frank Herbert. Still not as good as the original Dune, but what a beautiful wild ride. So many cool ideas and characters, including the answer to the question 'would you love me if I were a worm', Idk why the people say it's not adaptable to the screen, I know exactly how I would direct the movie. I wasn't born a nepo baby so you will probably never see this, sadly.
Uncle Vanya, Anton Chekhov. I saw a really good performance before reading the play so it probably influenced my rating. Good read for ugly girls who pull no bitches.
The Last Question, Isaac Asimov. Clever.
Girl, interrupted, Susanna Kaysen. Good read for mentally ill and probably ugly girls.
Other voices, other rooms, Truman Capote. Loved how the climate was painted, and I'd say the way it was written, but I've read the translation. So I liked the translator's way with words I guess.
Dracula, Bram Stoker. Jonathan's diary at the beginning is crazy, scary and overall amazing, but sadly it's the highest point of the novel and the rest doesn't live up to the hype. It's still good and it nice to compare how some motives evolved in the popculture.
ChĆopki. OpowieĆÄ o naszych babkach, Joanna Kuciel-Frydryszak. Again, I absolutely loved the primary sources used in this book. And it's in fact rare to see some memoirs by the women of the lowest of low classes. But other then the sources, Idk.
Heretics of Dune, Frank Herbert. The issues of Messiah are back. Can we let go of Duncan at last. Honored Matres as a concept are questionable/laughable. I wanted to ask on Dune subreddit if anyone else thinks Teg and Patrin were gay for each other but they removed my ask, so I'm just gonna believe this on my own.
The Crucible, Arthur Miller. Very good. I have some issues with the character of Abigail and how she compares to the historical Abigail though.
Things fall apart, Chinua Achebe. Crazy good. I kept changing my mind on what I like the most about the book as I read it. In the end I think what I liked the most was giving a perspective of the people who didn't fit with the traditional society.
ĆniĆa siÄ sowa, Ewa Ostrowska. Raw, disgusting, unsettling portrayal of a small, closed off countryside society, and its violence. As small, closed off countryside societies are one of my biggest fears, I loved (?? appreciated) this book.
Owoc ĆŒywota twego, Ewa Ostrowska. As above, but even more disgusting and unsettling. Dead Dove Do Not Eat, but if you're fully ready for what awaits you, it's a good read.
Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad. Actually good.
Kiss of the Spider Woman, Manuel Puig. Very cool idea for the book structure (dialogue-only, two inmates try to pass time, one recounts to the other the movies he had seen). But the story itself isn't bad also.
Dungeon Meshi, Ryouko Kui. Beautiful! Heartwrenching! Heals your depression! Elf twinks! Extremely thought out worldbuilding and a consistent, planned out story. Love to see it.
I don't include the manga I've read that are ongoing (or I hadn't finished them).
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