#but maybe ill do it for new years
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Might dick around and write that zosan ice skating fic
#a 6 hour car ride gives you a lot of time to think and plan out dialouge and storyboard#i was thinking of posting it for christmas but i had to finish everyone presents so i never got around to it#but maybe ill do it for new years#or hell#even valentines day#its still cold then right?#its technically a pre getting together fic#but I MIGHT eek in a kiss at the end#just one chapter.#i could make it 2-3 but i tend to lose interest pretty quick for multichaptered fics#probably 3-5000 words?#not an au
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falin from dungeon meshi doodle
#took a nap sorry shgjjsjskls#ive been struggling with my style but ive managed to get it to a point i really like! so ill probably be posting more art now#i read dungeon meshi recently and i really love it!!! one of my favourite manga now#havent watched the anime yet though ill have to do that when i have the time#ill be honest.... i did not flip this image 😭😭... maybe i should make a really late new years resolution to always flip my images#my art#digital art#fanart#id in alt text#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi falin
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in a mood (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing#i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much.#maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper#he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid#but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd#be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think#would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...)#and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish#though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle#ruporas art
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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you
#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU#project sekai#emunene#emu otori#nene kusanagi#pjsk#prsk#proseka#wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!!#i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever#Gyaaaa#Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven#Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me#wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right#i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways#Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day#For the next month.#my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks..#wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me.#why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!!#wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj
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hehe,, bi callie repostt for bi visibility day💗💜💙
#callie#callie cuttlefish#splatoon#squid sisters#artists on tumblr#fanart#bi#bi visibility day#bisexual#i drew this on june actually but like ... never posted it here >_< thought itll be a good time to post it#i always say ill draw smth new for this day but im always busy so i never do it >_< maybe next year#it was for ystrday but i was busy all day srry
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#snap sketches#i was thinking about all the weird mine variants that exist and theres more than i thought there was#i JUST wanted to do suit variants tho none of the extra okinawa and new year rggo cards. and a bare variant#because i can ...... also cause i needed to exercise the knowledge that his plushie's undies are white SOMEHOW#funny enough the only time i like properly assembled mines colors was on my kirin mine sheet so yay for a semiproper color sheet#anyway. the grey suit's inspo'd from the date scene in y3- that shot with him and kanda#i chose a brown tie to act as an in-between transition from blue tie to gold tie#the rggo cards are forever funny to me but while i was drawing these i remembered that for some reason#with the newest card mine's sleeve is. white ???????? its white .#i only realized this after posting these to twitter so if you saw this there first and are like 'girl his sleeve changed color'#Thats Why <- literally no one is thinking that#ok i have nothing else to say probably im gonna eat one more bowl of pasta then go to bed#i keep mentioning kirin mine so maybe ill doodle one of my things with that tomorrow ..#if not i have stuff i wanna draw tomorrow so if im not tired after grocery shopping Theres That To Look To#ok bye its pasta time <- has decided to make pasta my personality for june#oh my god wait its june now jesus christ. yeah happy pride month ive finally drawn mine again#ok bye bye pasta's calling my name
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me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop
Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...
#me reassuring myself like#it's okay. look see? they can speedrun the genuine apology process too. see? yeah i know#i know#--/ art#L1_CAT#subpixels#alan becker#green influencer arc#ava influencer arc#(OHMYGO D BRIAN MADE IT??????? NO WONDER IT'S GLORIOUS?!?!?!?)#i don't think there will be- well no. that's a lie there will totally be more great works with these specific themes in the future . . .#because there will probably be these specific problems in the future. but W0w does it hit now.#not that long ago i know i was dealing with angst online. and that just. permeates everything. for *months*#what a shot to the heart !!! new weakness unlocked ! ! ! !#/pos ... yeah no it's. you know what i mean#ghhhhghh the imperfect files feeling defensive about not being included hhhhhhhhhhhhhh kindness to snarling creatures hhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!#gonna need to rewatch this a few more times. at Least. hooh#ps: i have a vivid memory of reading a fic on ao3 that emotionally compromised me and i saw in the notes that the author said...#''[please trust me. i know what im doing c: ]'' or something that that's what they meant. it was either a doctor who or a good omens one.#and i did trust them. and the story continued being amazing. and they didn't let me drown in that space i found myself in.#i feel responsible for not letting myself get too far underwater like that- and i have succeeded.#and i also trusted Them (scriptors directors animators etc etc etc). and i am. safe#it feels like there was a wound here i forgot about that is only now beginning to heal. . . ... . . . . . .#i think ill be 100% ready to laugh about it in like. a year. for now we roll catharsis gang#a year is maybe too long. you know what i mean. arbitrary time unit. laundry minutes.
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its new years and my drawing ability has just completely exploded .. but we ball anyways
#signalis#its just me and my ugly sketches against the world..#anyways#remember when i said i was gonna draw the ‘intresting and peculiar’ tweet as falkeler#?#well now it exists#very low effort i just needed it down on paper it wouldnt stop haunting me#i do really like the way i drew falkes expression here#something that i struggle a lot with is drawing different expressions … i really need to work on that tbh#a disheveled looking falke#falke tonking two plushies of her and adler together#theyre kissing :D#dragon adler for the new year (cause its the year of the dragon)#and a knight falke who was supposed to go with the silly vibe of adlers onsie but just ended up being a real knight#LOL#IDK maybe ill make a fantsy au put of it who knows#anyways thays it for meow#myth.sketches#myth.art#suggestive
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#mine#bastille#what a silly little guy#i wish i could capture the maniacal nature of his laugh in a gifset but it simply is not possibly pls go and watch it if you haven't#i had to go to coal drops yard the other week to pick up a new phone and the whole time i was just like#they don't know that bastille did a little set floating down here last year#i mean maybe some people did but it probably wasnt the main thing occupying their mind the way it was mine cause theyre probably sane#on a gifmaker point i think i really like the colouring on this like kind of peachy#the vibrancy settings are the same as i usually do but its like softer for some reason#i think its cause i played around with the colour balance more than usual but yeah anyway its cool maybe ill get back into gifmaking on mai#wouldnt that be exciting (literally no one cares)
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my womb eviction day is at wednesday okay. time to never tell anyeone about it irl
#random#me#i genuinely dont care to celebrate my birthday just give me a fudgey bar or buy me lunch and i would be happy#it actually frustrates so much people when i say that whenever they ask me what i want for a birthday gift#but this year. hm.#should my parents hit me up and ask me what i want maybe ill just ask them money so i can buy a new jacket#blazer i have is. not doing it my back feels cold all the time
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feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole
#hivemind tv#hmfcu#riley savage#graydon weaver#quadeca#jane remover#eden burke#my art#2023#fanart#doodles#furry#its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online#doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself#and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling#and come back and then the cycle repeats#its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard#so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)'#NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here#and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out#and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave#i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment#i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one”#or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it”#sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse#whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m#friends for a while i think#woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography
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the lesser known did symptom of not knowing anything about your life because not only do you not remember anything (and the memories you Do have are heavily fragmented so you have no idea when they occured), but you also consistently destroy all traces of yourself during dissociative episodes. rip every diary ive tried to keep and almost every social media account. i will never know what i got up to or who i was during those years
i have a spreadsheet i use for documenting memories that turn up before i can forget them again. where i also do my best to estimate what year or season or month they came from. but its all just such a mess. even 2021 onwards which are supposed to be my therapy years are very very patchy. i wish i could just know my life
#kostik speaks#having a moment#is it fucked up that the vast majority of what i can place on my life timeline is directly lifted from the internet archive#where i desperately try to remember old urls and see if any evidence of my existence has been immortalised#just so i can know what i was doing. and who i was. and what i was going through. when.#anyway#im so upset about how much evidence of myself ive destroyed now that im finally trying to put the pieces together#just because i refused to accept that was me and i took it upon myself to delete the old mes from existence#over and over again#because reading what id written and identifying with who i was was immensely dysphoric and distressing#any sort of life history is just. not there#i try very hard but i rely a lot on other people and archives that i cant wipe myself#because otherwise the pieces of my memory just dont work and none of it makes sense#its tough#just had to ask my mother when my grandmother died#it was really not long ago#because it was a significant event. i have a memory fragment of learning the news. i have no idea when it was though#maybe learning the time of year will explain some things. heres to hoping#im venting ignore me#i must have asked her before already but! youll never guess. i forgot#so i asked again and this time ill get it on the spreadsheet#so maybe i can build up a small timeline of that section of the year around that date#thats what im hoping. heres to hoping
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perfectly normal hi-skoolers who are definitely not going to blow up the gym later today
#quin sketches#invader zim#iz tag#iz#dib membrane#dib#zim#iz zim#iz dib#FASHION#gaz pierced dibs ears for him btw#it was a bonding activity#dib is like 15ish here?#i said this before but im a firm believer that everything zim wears is just Kind of a little bit the same as his uniform#he knows what he likes#assuming he changes. most likely he wouldnt but i think he can have some new clothes as a treat anyway#i should do this for gaz too#and maybe tak. and skoodge#also dib does not have freckles he has acne#wash your face boy#also sorry i havent posted art in like 10 years i kinda had artblock lol#or been active. at all really#ill come back i swear#lazers art
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are you enjoying your um. birthday dinner
#gallery#sketchbook#ocs#oc: oli#i had initially intended for them to be wearing clothes but i couldnt decide on what & i was already up way too late#but ykw this is in character too tbh. so#HOW HAVE I HAD THIS OC FOR NINE YEARS. HELLO#technically not nine yet. their birthday is 6/11 but i made them 6/14#(i didnt decide on their birthday until A While Later so i didnt realize. how close those dates were lmao)#shame that u cannot see their fangs but there was no way to do it without making it look silly#that is the true vampire curse .#they got a new tattoo!! ive been considering it for a while but this is the first time ive drawn it. surely i will not regret this#(the other one is an eye on their wrist that i alwayyys forget to draw so maybe ill just keep that to their fl/ss version specifically)#spicy#i guess? kinda?#blood cw#blood tw#oopsie forgot i should probably tag for that. sorry
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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She is looking at you with her autistic eyes
#the only thing i wound up changing about her new design was adding a pom pom to the front of her sweater#i was thinkin about making it a necklace but idk i kinda like it like this :3#ignore her crooked socks#FUCK i gotta redesign her school outfit for uva!! maybe ill do that now i have a creative lil bug in my head rn#i think it's bc of this style. it's not detailed but it's very silly looking and fun to do. i like it#it’s funny drawing her like this bc she looks like such a little guy. she is a 30 year old woman#oc maxine#crisart#pokemon oc#pokemon trainer oc#pokemon trainer#trainersona#pokemon trainersona#pkmn trainer#pkmn oc
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