#but man i do feel like shit im so tired
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Last Seen Blogs
Text
/
#my posts#trying to do the usual thing i do so that if you happen to see this post you dont read whah#what* im actually saying unless you click read more tags or whatever that thing says#idk if this is enough. it probably is. ive done this enough times and i still never know lmao#which makes sense bc i always do this when i feel like shit so of course i dont remember im not thinking exactly what the limit is#but man i do feel like shit im so tired#i went from feeling like a miserable piece of shit to being sick for a week and when i got good enough i went back into feeling like shit#i thought maybe it was done and over with but guess what!#im tired man idk.#i feel like anything else i may add to this post could make me reach the point where i end ip deleting the entire thing lmao#im just tired of feeling like im never doing better but also im pretty sure i deserve that#which like. i am aware its illogical but it doesnt make it better lmao#ive been trying to ignore the feelings these past few days and its not trully working also so uh. yeah#gonna keep using my phone for shit until i fall asleep ig
1 note
·
View note
Text
🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
a simple qif sketch page
#im so tired man aaaa#feel like i havent drawn qif in soooo long#hes one of my go to characters for scribbles tho#a fucked up little guy#i havent been keeping up with the manga since ch60?? i think?? but i do know that shit goes down and im too scared to pick it back up ahaaa#witch hat atelier#wha#tongari boushi no atelier#tbna#qifrey#fanart#my art#hes poor little meow meow to me#and malewife and babygirl#man of many talents isnt he#stuffs him into a piñata and hangs him up at a childrens bday party#hes one of those characters i get so violent about
284 notes
·
View notes
Text
pretty privilege in general is a terrible tool. but when the racism that it's ingrained in really has a platform to activate, it's just absurd .
#if ure a pretty white boy. oh my goodness. roll out the red frickin carpet to all the fame attention & feminization in the world#omg hes so pretty. pretty like a woman. hes just like a woman. lets treat him like an object#everything he does isnt really his fault. hes just a girl bcs hes pretty. bcs hes pretty lets make him cry#lets do a deepdive into his character & pounce or paint any opportunity possible to find a villain in his life that isnt himself#meanwhile a poc person is pretty & theyre get a compliment sure#but never like. a normal one#they can get treated like a goddess or a god yea#but like. one that imposes fear and distance. only to be admired from a distance#if ure pretty and poc then ure an artifact to steal#if ure pretty and white then ure a crisp blank page for ppl to doodle out all their fantasies and plans for u to fold right along into#bcs ure pretty just like a girl: usable.#shit is just stacks on stacks on stacks of stagnant thinking stacked onto sick ideals#idk man#maybe im just going crazy bcs i hate too much of anything. getting irritable & tired from feeling trapped#cant ever escape anything bcs the very existence of escape implies the threat of capture
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
WARNING IM GOING TO BE HONEST AND EARNEST HERE. i really unironically unconditionally liked now and then
#like honestly i listened to it 2794288 times in the shower and came to the disgraceful revelation that like. oh my god it is a fucking beatl#es song and theyre 81 and 83 and 37 and 52 and theyre still ON the same song and fuck shit yes i get the solo is NOT georges and it makes me#a little upset but its still done in his memory and his style andthis is PAUL we are talking about and of course he is going to run away#with a project like this and going to do the solo but EVEN then he made the solo with george in mind and tried to emulate his style whether#it was an accurate representation or not they still care so fucking much. theyre the FUCKING beatles releasing music TODAY what the fuck#i will definitely feel different about this tomorrow morning but ive listened to this thing through on repeat since it released and buddy.#who care. like SO fucking much everyone care but WHO CARE!!!!!!!!! OLD MAN BEATLES YAOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IN 2023!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry does this make sense. like im a george defender until i die but i could heard his guitars enough to be moderately pacified and#honestly im too tired and excited and emotionally drained to care anymore. tjey tried so so hard to do something and they DID it#i have a much MUCH more nuanced opinion that i could go into. but i dont want to rn🙏🏻#emi's meandering jotts
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am not going to touch several queer discourse topics going around with a ten-foot pole but i will say that i think perhaps people would be more chill and less quick to jump on being angry if they actually grasped that nonbinary people exist and intersex people exist, and both of these groups are (generally speaking) not going to have a traditionally acceptable experience with gender and sex.
the binary is not real, both in terms of gender and biological sex.
there are complex experiences beyond your own, ones that you may not understand. you get to decide how you react to that.
#im so fucking tired of this shit#if like five ppl on earth /openly/ ID with a confusing label it will not change the general public's view on that label#hell people still think gay means only a man and a man despite queer ppl across the board using it to ID with#trans still means binary mtf or ftm to most people. they don't think of nonbinary people almost ever.#the general perception of words will not be ''marred'' or ''tarnished'' by a few outliers with complicated labels and experiences#(obviously this does not apply to labels that are specifically for certain racial/ethnic groups such as t.wo-spirit)#(<-unsure if ''racial/ethnic groups'' is the right wording for that. please feel free to correct me if theres a better way to word it)#i have seen above (exclude brackets) being used as a reason to shout at queer people online and i think its a fucking stupid reason.#any other reasoning behind the discourse i will simply not touch. i think ppl are too quick to jump to conclusions about intention!#and they do not ever consider non-binary experiences of things. they do not ever consider intersex experiences.#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
...The only response you should give to misogynistic men who insist "single fathers are better than single mothers in every way" is:
"I see... You're so right John. It's so clear to me now... men should actually marry each other! I mean, single fathers are much better then single mothers in every way, right? So, imagine the benefits of having TWO men raise children. We should transition to a system where men marry each other, men raise children and women can live as bachelorettes."
Watch the way the seethe.
#im tired of these misogynistic males with a hatred for life misrepresenting data to appeal to their audiences#they completely ignore socioeconomic factors and the fact most societies in the world operate as a patriarchy#women STILL get paid less than men who work in the same field#Captain Misogyny is just making shit up because he read a mean joke about men and now wants women to feel bad#I also ''like'' the narrative of boys and girls can become stable adults without moms but they are doomed for misfortune without dads#Okay Mr. Testicular Tantrum w/e u say...#lol men will be like ''men are soooo much better than women when raising children" and don't see how#they're blowing holes in their nuclear family argument#so are women necessary for raising kids or are we not and only men are fit for it. Make up your mind#then there is the other side of the misogyny circus who insists women bring nothing to the table in a relationship.#GOD you are so annoying. JUST MARRY EACH OTHER! You can do that now. Marry another man and shut up.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
posted all these muppets i drew the other day and i FEAR THAT IF I SAY THE COMMONALITY BETWEEN THEM ALL EVERYONE WILL GET THEIR KNIVES OUT ON ME AGAIN LMFAO
#free my fkn man he aint do noTHINGGGGGGG#leave steve alone ill get the sword out#thats my baby 65yr old man but thats also i love him so horribly bad in a vampiric like shakespearean way#i feel so strongly about this#everyone was a hater lowkey on insta w this#my art#muppets#fraggle rock#frootbats#the muppets#deadass im sorry he didnt do shittttttt#im tired of this im abt to publicly enter battle over this man lmfaoooo#i cant know how to hear any more about how he sucKS BC HE DOESNT HES THE SWEETEST LEAVE HIM ALONE#me included leave him alone i need to not be a freak abt him#trying to turn whatever this is into how i feel abt wembley fraggle. incredibly overprotective for no reason lmfao#my friend met him this weekend and im so unwell about it#only pics ive seen of him recently where he looks like him thats an insane thing to say but his light is gone in a lot of pics w ppl#i feel so much for him and also jim and i literally cannot get into that bc i get ill abt it#i almost got into it in my video and i feel compelled to add some shit back in in a post edit section#oh my god his insta post the other day abt jim dont get me started im fucking sick#also idk what possessed me to draw marlon#im tinkerbell abt this man ive never had this happen so bad lmfao i dont know i cant explain i am drawn to him
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
due to things lining up Horribly, no stream this weekend! and maybe not the next, either!
#i got too much shit happening this weekend </3#and then i might not have the next off... i still havent gotten my schedule!#i got a sticky note for two days and thats It so far!#oh man im sorry about the lack of Update posts too#im. so tired.#i have No spoons like... at all....#i want to curl up in bed and sleep for a decade but! cant!#i have a 9 hour shift to do again! and again! and again! and again. and again. and again. and again. and agai-#absolutely unprompted#yk i thought having Limited free time would give me motivation to do things i want to#nahhhh its just making me Sad lmao#my brain before: we have all the time in the world so we can do it later#my brain now: we have no time at all so why bother#man. i dont want to get into a groove and then have to either cut it off or be prematurely Exhausted at work.#by the end of the day i already feel dead... cant feel dead at the start or i wont make it...#wow look at me complaining. its been Two Days.#gonna bring a sketchbook so that i can at least doodle during my breaks + lunch#brush up on my traditional skills....
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so tired of every small thing that my brain perceives as a social attack against me (which are 90% totally innocuous) making me feel like im being stabbed repeatedly in the chest. I feel awful, I can't handle this level of sensitivity anymore
#shut up me#theres no escape I can't even hide in my room forever because unless I stop talking to people AND seeing people post online#this feeling wont stop. I hate it. why do I care so much about shit that not only doesnt matter but straight up does not involve me!#and yet my brain inserts me into it directly into the line of fire#im tired of walking past people laughing on the street and feeling a pang of fear and shame every time that theyre laughing at me#because its just not true. that is not happening. what cartoonish level of bad person would laugh at someone passing by (and instantly?)#but no matter how much I parry the thought it comes back every damn time the exact same#and its like this with everything. im tired man#i just dont want to feel the Endless Shame anymore
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling very Ascension by Gorillaz ft Vince Staples at 2:18
#i need to solve a puzzle or some shit. god. fuck.#i cant concentrate on anything i cant fall asleep i cant stay asleep i cant stay awake i cant wake up on time#i hate depression 😒 and all the other things wrong with me yknow#i need to do something like. good for me. but its so damn hard to drag myself into doing that too#brain. stop being so foggy. please.#im even like. im eating im drinking water. i could probably like do some sort of exercise but everything makes me so tired.....#like even a walk yknow? i do my shift at work and im at 3% battery. i dont. i dont know what to do man#and i dont even wanna die about it???? im actively NOT suicidal for once#like are you kidding me??? ive been suicidal for like over a decade and for once#my brain is still popping up like have you considered killing yourself? 🤔 but im Genuinely not swayed by it at all#which is weird. and probably good. but now i just feel like. numb#stuck. stagnant. foggy. can we PLEASE cut through this fog and have some meaningful brain functions for a little bit. brain. cmon#i dont wanna die but i *do* wanna sleep for like. three days#i want a week off where i have NOTHIN to do#genuinely nothing to do. chores are done work is on pause i need nothing creeping in at the edges thinkin bout#ohhhhh you should be doing this instead..........youre wasting your time........do a task.....#but i cant i cant do a task. i cant. and its so frustrating and i feel bad about it#id feel much worse about it if my BRAIN wasnt as foggy as fucking SAN FRANCISCO#and i keep trying like. healthy ways of ''feeling something'' like hobbies i like or yummy food#nothin. does fuckin nothin. i get off and it gives me a Little bit of clarity Maybe. like#no wonder bad coping mechanisms happen yknow??? its an absolute fucking miracle i havent taken up smoking#anyway. i need to go to bed. tomorrows gonna be a long day. if you feel so inclined send me mental love or something. im fuckin tired folks.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
crazy how any mlm gojo ship is perfect actually
#stsg? classic. i dont need to say anything theyve ruined me for life#nanago? sweet n cute <33 classic grumpy x sunshine except theyre both repressed men in their late twenties what more could u want#sukugo? hunger as a metaphor for love <33 incredibly homoerotic <3333 just two men teaching each other abt love through violence <333333#goken? … the forbidden option but im sooo weak for it ok. the longing the hatred the animosity#kenny killing the two six eyes havers before gojo … ending up in the body of the man he loves most …. being forced to feel that love#and gojo being forced to see his one and only’s body being manipulated. being forced to hear kenjaku speak in suguru’s voice#there’s just sooooo much there like im obsessed . peaked divorced couple energy#also throwing in ijichi x gojo for the lols but i do think theyre cute i just need gojo to start treating him well 😭😭😭#“you’re the man i trust most.” <- gojo pls come out of the closet im so tired of your shit#also if u want crackships pls consider; higuruma x gojo / choso x gojo ….. theyre sooooo his type#ari noises ✩
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need depression to stop kicking my ass right now
#im so tired#. and i slept the entire day#everything feels like it weighs 100x more than before#i would like to move normally again#i would. like to feel alive again#why am i having the worst day again ehay did i do to deserve this#i just want to write silly fictional people doing stupid shit#and not actively rot the more i try to breath#vent#i hate it here#dragged myself like a decayed corpse to my desk and i can't even lift my hands#fuck this man
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Someone should sexually use me to fill the aching hole
#i feel kinda on the outs at gay group#part of it is because im a christain#like....i dunno im tired of people shitting on my spirituality#if it was any other realigion it would be treated with respect#i dunno man i just.#im tired of hateful things being the norm#also back at my dads house after spending thw weekend with my sister#the filth always throws me off even when i try to prepare myself#also i am just feeling so fucking lonely#i just feel so isolated and i dunno how to reach out to people cus i have nothing interesting to say#everything i do i feel like im reminded of the romantic hole in my heart#im going to die alone.....#i fucking hate my life i cant wait to end it.
4 notes
·
View notes