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ssstardust3001 · 9 months ago

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Personal log:

My sore arm is doing pretty well, though my fingertips are tingly, like pins and needles. My grip strength is also not as it was, but is still better than most humans. I think the bullet injured a major nerve in my arm and it hasn't been properly healed without scarring. It's just another thing to deal with though.

Sometimes I remember that it's a wonder that I survived childhood...I would have died if I needed major surgery or a blood transfusion or had gotten sick and my physiology would've react to the illness in a way a human's wouldn't...Now that I think about it, my childhood was pretty fucked up.

Mom left me, doctors were untrained in Vulcan medicine -apparently my internal structure and biology is closer to theirs than to human biology, never trained to use any of my "exceptional" psi abilities which probably is why I have chronic migraines, emotional regulation was out of wack which led to fights in my youth and adulthood...and my nervous breakdown.

I remember as a kid they'd diagnose me with all sorts of things and give me medicine that would just make me feel foggy and wrong, and I'd be told to suck it up until I got sicker.

You know, I wonder if I've suffered any rights violations on account of my dad being the way he is, very human-centric. I was never human enough for him, guess that's why I'm fucked up. [He chuckles then sighs.] I always had to adjust for them, for his crew. They'd never adjust for me.

I never told anyone this, but this is my personal log, so what the hell. When I was a kid, I broke my pinky finger, left hand. Felt like I couldn't tell anyone even though it hurt really bad. I knew that my dad would have yelled at me, shamed me, so I just kinda dealt with it. Anyway, it's crooked now. I was told they'd have to re-break it to fix it, and I'd rather not if it still functions. Plus it's not noticeable unless I have my fingers pressed together. It was broken near the knuckle, and goes out at a slight angle.

Hell, it's pretty fucked up that when I had top surgery they admitted that they scheduled it out further than normal because they needed time to study and get blood for me because my blood type isn't so common, and human blood would kill me. Yaaay.

I wonder if I would have fared any better had my mom taken me with her. Physically, oh yeah, I'd be much better off. I don't think I would have emotionally, but I'd be better at controlling myself. I was bullied as a child, sometimes horribly, usually emotionally but sometimes physically, and due to my physical appearance and how I was always expected to "remain proper and stoic" even by the adults even though I was never fucking taught how. Ugh...It's very frustrating to remember these things. It infuriates me. I'm glad I was taken out of school where I'd be around other children.

Still....My ability to be social has suffered. I don't quite know how to approach people. I didn't really have friends, even in the academy where it was a mix of adults. No one quite knew how to deal with me since I looked one way, but behaved in unpredictable ways. Even now, I don't have many social connections, even amongst my colleagues.

Still, I'm good at what I do. Being Chief of Security, engineering, science, my own education? Yeah, I excel! I was very high up in my class, top in my post graduate doctoral programs, even after....the breakdown. My father won't let me live that down. Sure I'm a commander, but he still treats me like a lower officer who is also unstable. He very rarely sends me out to do any sort of missions, where before, he sent me on plenty.

I'd applied for a transfer, listing all my reasons as to why as professionally as I could with audio and video evidence to hopefully expedite it without getting my father more involved than he has to be. I just don't care where I go. I have two Ph.D's, I'm a Commander, I have experience as a Chief of Security where I was able to show strong leadership skills, and engineering experience under my belt. My Masters thesis in engineering had become required reading at the Academy! Hell, even if I was still an ensign, anywhere would be better. I just hope they don't need to find a replacement before they can transfer me because I know my father would drag that out as long as possible if he were in charge.

End Log before I get too mad for the day.

#-slaps top of his head- He has so many rights violations packed into his him #Vulcans would probably be highly concerned if not horrified/disgusted to hear about his experience.#probably mainly due to his lack of emotional and psi training and lack of appropriate medical care #like he would have died if he had needed a blood transfusion or major emergency surgery #also the fact that if he went through Pon Farr he'd likely kill someone or die horribly because he has no bonds or training in self control #he also lacks bonds and family connections

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inseparableduo · 1 year ago

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also random but one thing I love about twins is whose considered the "bad cop" or "strict" parent often flip-flops or depends on who they are dealing with. Sometimes it's Darla dishing out nothing but tough love while Andrew has to be the softer and more emotional one.

Other times Darla can't being herself to be mean and just coddles them. Meaning it's Andrew's turn to play the bad cop and push them to get up and over it. You would think it's a set role that never changes but nope!

#thinking about vulcans threads #and how they were glad that drew was home and not darla lol #but there have been a few other threads were darla is the harsh parent bc drew is to soft #mainly where drew can't help himself and adopts another kid and darla is so tired #;dl

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sleepymccoy · 1 year ago

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I really like the idea that McCoy's ex wife is Vulcan, so their daughter is half Vulcan. It informs so much of McCoy's behaviour to me.

I like to think his ex is not very into Vulcan culture. She's keeps some of it up, but this is a woman who chose to marry a bumpkin doctor and move to small town Earth. She's not big on the Vulcan stuff. Like, her name is T'Mari or something, but she just goes by Mary. They names their daughter Jo'hana so Mary's parents could pronounce it, but they just say Johanna. Or Jo.

So McCoy is already an expert at half Vulcan physiology, he's just learning the adult male stuff for the first time. And any Spock specific quirks. And he knows his ex, Mary, showed more emotion than Spock ever does so all Spock's arguments about being Vulcan are unconvincing. Of course, Mary mainly showed anger at the tail end of things, but hey. And he really knows what Jo's grin looks like so he knows it won't hurt Spock to smile occasionally

Of course, McCoy is fully forgetting that Spock is an adult and likes Vulcan culture in a way Mary never did and it's fucking up to him what he does. But I think this dynamic gives McCoy good cause to think he knows better (even if he's wrong). And it removes the humans as default attitude McCoy sometimes has

I especially like the idea that McCoy never mentions it cos a. Doesn't like to talk about his ex and b. It's weird to describe your daughter's medical shit in conversation. So one day Spock meets them and is just standing there like whaaat the fuuuck. What the fuck. Whatthefuck.

#sleepy speaks #star trek #mccoy #spock

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g0thc0re420 · 3 months ago

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Manicure: Spock x Reader

Song: Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

CW: MINORS DNI!! smut. from the very beginning it��s just smut. hand fetish (it’s foreplay with a vulcan lol.) oral fixation with fingers (finger sucking, gagging on fingers). breeding kink (but like also trying for a baby) hair pulling.

Spock might be a little OOC but honestly I stand behind the idea that loves being very touchy with the people he loves and adores the most.

Spock didn’t know what he was expecting when he entered the code to your room, but it certainly wasn’t this. He had seen you many different ways, sick, excited, even naked, but this was different. He scrunched his nose, the smell of nail polish wafting across the room. He saw you, sitting criss-cross in front of your coffee table. You had a row of metal nail instruments and a cleaner sitting in front of you. You were happily singing along to the background music you had on.

It was one of his favorite things about you, you always seemed to have the right music for any situation. You had even curated a playlist for him for his birthday, Spock listened to it frequently. It took him a moment but he soon recognized the melody flowing into the room. He stood across from you, contentedly watching, trying to not disturb the focus you held on the cuticles of your fingers.

“Kisses on the foreheads of the lovers, wrapped in your arms,” You softly sang as you looked up at him. Noticing his shadow fall over the table. You gently smiled at him, scooting over on the floor to make some room for him, patting the floor next to you.

He sat, forgetting what he was needing to talk to you about, “T’hy’la, might I inquire how your day was?” He felt breathless, watching as you gently started buffing the previous layer of clear polish off.

“McCoy was more annoying than usual, but other than that I would say my day went pretty well. I was able to start research on testing to see if there is a genetic predisposition for Bendii Syndrome.” You had now moved to shaping your nails, and Spock was watching every movement. “It seems the Vulcan high council is now more set on completely eradicating it. And they chose a human to do it.” A smile Spock had only seen a couple times appeared on your face. You were proud of yourself. This smile had mainly been reserved himself, although Spock was never really sure if he ever deserved it when you looked at him like that.

You were now taking the cleaning solution and cotton balls and wiping the dust from all the filing off your nails. Spock couldn’t keep his eyes off your hands as you inspected your hand, stretching your fingers and humming at your handiwork, “Do you think they look good?”

Spock noticed how his mouth had run dry, he swallowed thickly before flicking his eyes to yours, you were waiting patiently for his response, even wiggling your fingers in the air for a dramatic effect. He watched as your look slowly shifted to one of concern.

“Spock, are you feeling okay?” You slowly shifted, facing toward him, and Spock finally looked somewhere other than your hands. Noticing the black tank top you were wearing. His eyes falling over your exposed skin, eyeing the intricate details of the tattoos that covered your arms. He felt a very human emotion fill him, and soon he would be showing you just how he was feeling.

“Spock,” he blinked, looking into your eyes as you snapped, “Are you feeling well? You’re turning green-oh.” He watched as you shifted your weight, finally realizing.

“I promise I am in perfect health my dear. Your hands look great. Please continue.” You nodded sheepishly and he watched as blush creeped over your neck and cheeks, before turning back to the table. Slowly pulling a thin coat of clear polish over your nails, before placing them under a UV light. After a moment or two the timer went off. You wiped them clean once again before placing your hand in front of you.

Spock had been resisting the urge for so long he felt almost robotic as he reached forward and grabbed your hand. Pulling it towards his face as he traced the lines of your fingers. He felt another wave of lust roll through him as he moved behind you, pulling you into his lap, the feeling of his cock straining against his pants was getting to be too much.

You squeaked at the sudden movement, moving around in his lap, Spock let out a soft moan as you pressed against him, just trying to get comfortable. He closed his eyes, letting his hands fall at your hips. He had missed you today. There wasn’t a moment today that either of you could steal away. You had spent all day in back to back Federation meetings and holed away in the research labs. Spock had spent the better part of his day on the surface of a new planet. Finding an interesting micronism, he had a suspicion it was a type of fungi, but as of right now, he wasn’t sure. Right now, he couldn’t focus on anything.

“Spock,” Your voice was quiet, “I’m finished, do you wanna see them?” He could hear you lightly tap them on the table in front of you. He couldn’t help the way he snaked his hands up your body, before sitting forward, pressing his chest against your back. Gingerly taking your hands into his, he let go of the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. The way you could make him feel so human, yet so Vulcan at the same time always baffled him. It was the way you truly saw him as who he was. Never comparing either side or trying to push him to either. You always looked at Spock as if he was a complete being.

“They might be the most beautiful hands I’ve ever seen.” He mused aloud as he started playing with your fingers.

You took a second and adjusted yourself, turning in his lap so your chests pressed each other’s. “I think that might be the highest compliment I could ever receive from you.” You were looking at where your fingers lined with his, a shiver running through you as you inspected the size difference. He watched as you took the opportunity and stole a second for a Vulcan kiss, your fingers almost dancing over his, as if you were nervous to make a move like that. Then, without warning you gently kissed his knuckles. The kiss was barely a whisper, your lips gently grazing over his skin, almost as if you were teasing him. He didn’t miss the way your lips twitched at the corners as a breath caught in his throat.

“I missed you today. I know Vulcan’s require less sleep, but Spock you were gone before I was awake and I woke up at 0500.” Your thumb works soothing circles on the back of his hand. The love you held for him, washed into him as you pressed your palms together. It clicked for Spock that you had genuinely worried about him today. The light touches and kisses a way of conveying that softness to him.

“I apologize. My intention was not to worry you. I’ve been working on some interesting research. We found an oceanic micronism in the water testing samples and it’s displaying some interesting characteristics. It may be a certain type of fungi. However, I am not certain-” Spock had noticed the look on your face, he had seen that mischievous look in your eyes before. The time you hid a whoopie cushion in the Captain’s chair. Most recently was when you had hidden lingerie under your uniform and gave Spock a private show in his office. He had no time to react as you kissed the tips of his fingers before pulling a single digit into your mouth. Eyes still holding his gaze.

He tried to continue, but just as he did, you pulled a second finger to join the first and he didn’t miss the way you lightly grazed your teeth over the tips of his fingers. He could only imagine how he looked, he knew his cheeks were flushed a dark green right now, he watched as you pulled his fingers from your mouth, a small trail of drool still connected to your lips. He had to remind himself to breathe as he moved you off his lap and stood. Standing over you now, he watched as a glint of worry crossed your features. He held out his hand to you, “It would simply be most illogical to partake in coitus anywhere but the bedroom. The carpet would burn your skin.”

You accepted his hand and with Spock’s help stood, before he had pulled you into his chest again. He needed to have you close at this moment, he had never even wanted to have sex before he met you, and you were intoxicating. You always had been for him, seeming to take the air out of any room you were in. Even now, Spock was following the human tradition of an engagement before he wed you. You wanted a ceremony with your friends and family. Spock would give you that if you wanted it, he would give you Earth if he could, and he hoped he had spent his entire courting you, making sure you knew that.

Spock led you into the bedroom, trying to control the needs bubbling inside of him. The desire for you feeling like it was trying to claw its way through his chest. Suddenly, you stopped, stepping in front of him and bending down as you silently pulled down the shorts you were lounging in. Your bare ass now bent over in front of him, you slightly shimmied in front of him, just enough for a teasing jiggle . He noticed the absence of underwear in the forming pile on the floor and that was it. What little reserves Spock had left his body. He was behind you in an instant. Pulling your bare ass against his clothed dick, he didn’t miss the way that you pressed yourself back into him, or the sigh that fell from your lips.

He fumbled for a second with his belt, before weaving his free hand into your hair and shoving you face first into the mattress. He couldn’t stop the growl that rumbled in his chest if he tried. You weren’t even fighting back. “T’hy’la you look pathetic right now.”

You scoffed, managing to turn your head to the side and trying to glare at him from over your shoulder, “Yeah, you say that, but you should take a look-”

Spock had moved his hand from your hair, and shoved two fingers in your mouth. He closed his eyes as your lips wrapped around his digits, and he took a moment to see just how far he could push you, slowly pushing his fingers further down your throat before pulling out, and restarting at the tortuous pace, pushing further each time. Until tears pricked at the corner of your eyes and you were solely relying on breathing from your nose. You coughed as he pulled his fingers out of your mouth and he softened. Pulling you to him ever so slightly. Guiding you by your chin until you were looking at him.

Your eyes slightly glazed over and Spock noticed how your skin felt flushed, “I apologize. I should have asked-”

You quickly shook your head, so aggressively you stumbled a little bit, “No,” You were still breathless, “I liked it.” you placed a kiss just under his ear lobe “I trust you.” A second kiss, now on the shell of his ear, “Completely.”

Your face was in the mattress again as he stepped in between your legs, spreading them slightly until the fit was comfortable for him. He stepped back for a moment, only taking the time to pull himself through the zipper of his pants before coming back to you. His hand once again snaked up the base of your skull, weaving his fingers into your hair, the other one gripping your hip. He took a breath, before slowly starting to push into you. He set his pace slow, wanting to enjoy every second of this moment. He could feel you wiggle slightly under him. Desperate to feel anything more than he was currently giving you.

“Patience my dear. It is a virtue you must learn.” His second thrust was just as slow, he even took a brief pause while he was fully sheathed, slightly bumping his head into the spongy tissue he felt. He reveled in the feeling as you fluttered around him. You wiggled under him and he rolled his eyes, “I expect you to listen to your superior when you’re given an order.”

You froze, he watched the muscles in your thighs tighten as you tried to stiffen as straight as a board, He started again, “Do you understand me Lieutenant?”

You nodded under his hand and he paused again, slowly tightening his fingers in your hair as he lifted your head, “Do I need to repeat myself?”

“No Commander.” The words spilled from your lips and he noticed how swollen they already looked. He was amused by the way he could so easily make you lose all logical sense, just wanting to do anything to make him pleased. He clicked his tongue as he set a quicker pace this time. He pulled you closer to him, the slight whimper from you egging him on even more, his hands moving from your hip to your thigh. Raising your leg until your knee was resting on the bed as well.

The change in angle caused a surprised moan to fall from you and you clenched around him. Spock faltered in his pace for a brief second before he pursued you faster, his thighs now hitting the edge of the bed frame as he felt a familiar tingle starting in the pit of his stomach. The sounds coming from you with every thrust were almost too much for him, between the sound of your skin, and the incoherent babbling he was pulling from your lips it was almost enough to do him in.

He moved his hand from your hair, your head gently falling back into the mattress, as he gently traced the lines of jaw, resting his first two fingers on your temple, and soon, he was basking in the warm golden light that was you. He could feel the love and adoration from you. He could feel something more, just a thought floating around before his own smacked him in the face. A primal urge seemed to fill him as he thought about it.

You, filled to the brim with his seed. You, pregnant, the way your skin would glow, how he would have even more of an excuse to go randomly see you in the middle of the day. You, as a mom, to Spock, it would be no greater than honor than raising a child who had half of what you did.

He couldn’t hold the words, they were falling from his mouth before his brain even registered what he was saying. Jim always said ‘a drunken mind speaks sober thoughts’ and Spock now understood what that meant, in his love drunk state, he had told you one of his deepest desires, from the moment he had met you. His hand fell to your chin, resting his hand under your jaw to keep you supported, “Do you want a baby?”

Your hips stuttered for a split second, and Spock panicked. He felt his heart squeeze in an uncomfortable way, his lungs felt heavy, “Yes Commander.”

“Do you want my baby?” He needed clarification, he needed to know you wanted this.

Your eyes fluttered open, taking a deep breath, trying to steady your breathing, “Yes Spock. I want to have your baby.”

Spock was done for. He found your temple once again as he reached the edge, holding on to anything for just a second longer, before you were there with him. He let himself fall, moving his hand from your thigh to your midsection, pulling your body further against him. He gently worked you down, never stopping, only slowly in his languid motions in and out of you. He stayed in you, until your breathing slowed down and until, all, parts of you relaxed.

He slowly pulled away, before working on you, helping you move further up on the bed. Making sure you were comfortable with a pillow. He was gone as soon as you were settled, returning moments later with a glass of water and a warm washcloth. “Please, drink my dear.” He wiped you down from head to toe. Starting with your face, he gently wiped the tear streaks, before noticing how dry your lips were. He placed a very human kiss on them, almost as if he were trying to kiss them better.

There were bruises forming where he held your jaw. He could feel the slight furrow in his brows. Your hand graced his cheek, he looked in your eyes for the first time and he swore he could see the love he felt from you earlier, had you always looked at him like that? “Stop worrying. I liked it, and I like the bruises.” You gently trailed off again, eyes dropping from his gaze. Spock couldn’t believe you were shy about admitting this to him with everything that just happened between the two of you.

He had now moved on to your chest and arms. Moving in steady even motions across your skin.“I know I can be…forceful. I do not wish to inflict any-” He stopped as you held your hand up.

“Spock, I need you to understand that I wanted everything you did to me done. I promise, I will let you know if you ever take it too far, but maybe we could benefit from having this as a bigger conversation tomorrow.” He has now moved to your hips, taking extra care around the where he once gripped you. “I think it would be great to establish boundaries so there are preset guidelines for any type of sex we have.”

He was now wiping down your thighs and legs, letting the words you spoke process as he inspected your body. He was amazed at how you always seemed to find a way to find a solution that benefited everyone, “I think your idea sounds very logical. It would benefit in the enjoyment for both of us.”

“Yes! Exactly!” You lazily smiled at him as you crawled under the blankets, “Now, I know with as much as you love me, Vulcans need time to process things. But you are Spock, and you did a lot of things tonight ruled by your emotions. I know that takes a toll on you.” You opened your arms, and he willingly fell into them, letting all of his weight on you as he took what seemed like his first steady breath of the night.

He couldn’t help but press his head further into your touch as you gently ran your fingers through his hair, your nails every so gently grazing his scalp, he felt his skin tingle after you, you continued speaking, you voice quieter now, “You need to go shower, you’re still in your uniform. Take a moment for you, I’ll be here when you come back.”

You were laying on your stomach when Spock entered the room again, his hair still slightly damp, he may have rushed his routine just to be by your side again. He thought you were sleeping, until he heard your voice call out into the darkness, “Computer, play ‘Apocalypse’ by Cigarettes After Sex, year 2017.”

Spock recognized the tune immediately, the same song all of this had started with, as he crawled into the bed beside you, within a breath you had pressed yourself into his side, your head finding solace in the crook of your neck. He could feel his skin prick as your breath fanned across his skin. Your hand quickly found his as you laced your fingers together.

“I was being serious earlier. About wanting to have your baby.” Your voice is just barely a whisper as you speak in the darkness of the room.

“As was I. I feel it would be my greatest honor to raise a family with you,” he gently rolled, so he was able to look at you, his free hand gently cupping your face, “I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

“I cannot wait to marry you.” You closed your eyes as you spoke those words and Spock knew he would spend the rest of his life making sure you spent every moment knowing how much he truly loved you.

He didn’t even care when he instinctively pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Sleep well T’hy’la. I will be here when you wake.” Spock knew his life was now changing, forever. There was no going back, yet also not an ounce of doubt arose from his decision. As your breathing slowed, subconsciously falling into rhythm with his. He slowly closed his eyes, letting everything else but the current need for sleep fall to the wayside. Sinking lower into the feeling, Spock realized, if you liked the bruises, the next time you put on a show for him like that, he wouldn’t wait to make it to the bedroom.

#star trek #spock #mr spock #spock x reader #spock x y/n #smut #spock smut #fanfic

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theshadowrealmitself · 2 years ago

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Was thinking about how one of the reasons why Humans would be so unsettled by Vulcans claiming they don’t have emotions (because I’m constantly trying to make the fact that Vulcan and Earth aren’t best friends which they fucking should be make sense in my head) is because one of the reasons why a Human wouldn’t feel emotions is because of depression, they’d just feel that numbness at times

And that really gave me pause, because I think about that a lot, but a new thought came from it, what would,,, how would.. what does.,.. what the fuck does depression feel like for a Vulcan

Like if there are Vulcans full on purging their emotions then it makes sense to assume that that wouldn’t want to make them kill themselves, so that’s probably not what depression feels like for them, so what does it feel like??

#suicide mention tw #although the topic is mainly on depression #swear I’m not thinking bad thoughts #this actually came to be because I was thinking of a made up job in my head #cause you know how like Jim is usually getting in trouble with admirals but some of them seem to have it out for him?#I was thinking about a situation happening where Jim’s captaincy is in trouble because of accusations from one of the admirals #I have that one specific a hole in my head can’t remember his name #so they bring in an independent neutral third party to investigate it #and it’s a human who does a fantastic fucking job at keeping their own emotions out of it and having no bias towards the situation #I guess you could say they’re a detective but it doesn’t quite fit what I’m thinking #sort of a mix of lawyer and detective I guess but they’re not on anyone’s side their job is to just get as much facts as they can #and present them #videos chats etc #they interview everyone #have them take quizzes #just scrounge up as many details as possible #anyways #thinking about them and everyone being shocked at how neutral they are #even the Vulcans are impressed #and I was thinking about the Vulcans trying to talk to them after someone loses control of their emotions thinking the human is going to #agree with them #but they don’t #yes they seem emotionless but it’s because they’re at their job and people rely on them being factual #they would never wish to actually have no emotion #anyways that eventually led to this post #Star Trek #humans #Vulcans #also yeah I’m also constantly trying to figure out why Vulcans and humans wouldn’t be besties

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homunculus-argument · 1 year ago

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I wonder if any part of the reason why Europeans somewhat stereotype specific other Europeans as more romantic/seductive is just the cultural differences in what's a normal level of casual physical closeness/contact between people who aren't familiar with each other. Like the french and italians are perfectly fine talking with someone they just met while standing close enough to be able to smell the other person's sunscreen, and for like nordics that stuff is like Vulcans and hand holding.

Imagine being used to talking to people at a distance where you're standing on their toes if you can't sit on their lap, and some norwegian who's mainly used to communicating with strangers by yelling from one end of a fjord to the other is standing there thinking "you've been maintaining solid eye contact for 30 consecutive seconds in a row. The only reason why someone would do that is because you desire me carnally."

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moonlightshaiku · 1 year ago

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Oops!

Spock x Reader

Word Count:

Warnings: second hand embarrassment, puke

Ao3: N/A

Notes:

I just like the idea of accidentally giving spock a vulcan kiss, okay????

Tag List:

You knew that Mccoy's response of "Well be more social, then," was a result of him being busy. Not paying attention. But, you'd taken it to heart.

Being alone in your room so often had tanked your mental health. Introverted or not, part of "self care" is letting out your thoughts and feelings.

You can't help but think that self care is too complicated. Hygiene in itself is a fifty point list.

The best plan you had was to introduce yourself to someone. That in itself is difficult. There are too many options and techniques.

It was hard when it was just humans—or at least, mainly humans—back on Earth. But in the Enterprise? With even more races and cultures? Squeezed in? Together?

You enter the lift, blandly speaking out your destination. It's only when you notice the shoes next to you, shining, that you realize you have a chance to just— do this. Get it over with.

The anxiety swells in your throat, and you can't help but think it's not worth it. It'll take so much effort, and if you don't say anything, they'll never know.

"Good morning!" You chirp, before you can put to much thought in. It's much more gruff than you meant. You realize, as you swallow, that this is the first time you've spoken today.

You almost wonder if they're going to reply, but then you see a hand.

It barely takes a second to connect the dots. A handshake! Easy.

In your excitement at the ease of this venture, you bring your right hand to meet their left—and—oh.

Wrong hand. Your hands are touching. Theirs is straight, yours across it. Your ring and little finger are touching the side of their hand, your thumb tucked over their's.

You glance up at them, you don't make eye contact.

Your first two fingers presses against their last.

His last. His last two fingers.

He's male.

"Oh sorry, wrong hand!"

A Vulcan male.

He's Spock.

"Oh shit."

You jerk your hand back.

"The crude wording is not needed, Lieutenant-Commander."

"Spocckkk." You draw out through your teeth, voice high pitched.

"Yes?"

The doors open, no one is there.

"I am. Fuck, I am sorry. It wasn't— fuck, sorry."

The door closes. The lift remains still.

"I didn't mean to—" you take a breath. "It wasn't my intention to—" you pause.

His eyebrows raise, your heart beats faster.

Can he report you for harassment over this? It was just a handshake— be pretty fucked up if he could.

It would be pretty fucked up if he couldn't, too. Damn.

He probably should report you.

He won't.

"Kiss you?"

The words feel like bile in your mouth.

Or are you about to puke?

"That's not a question. I did not mean to phrase that as a question." You attempt to repair quickly. "I did not want to kiss you."

Oh that sounds plan rude!

"Or, er— you know what I mean."

You blink at him. How long have you been talking?

"Are you done, Lieutenant-Commander?"

You stay quiet, and after a few moments, you realize that it's a genuine question.

"You can— you can call me Doctor. And yes. Sorry."

He nods. "Doctor. It was a mistake. It is of no consequence, and does not alter my opinion of you."

You nod, anxiety not fading. You do, however, remember to breathe.

"Can I make it up to you?" Is your timid reply. You find that Spocks eyebrows can reach impressive heights.

"I suppose so. However, I do not see a reason that 'making it up to me' is needed."

You let out a breathy chuckle after a long moment of silence, and it does good to ease the tightness in your chest.

"Okay." You breathe. "When... do you have time?"

Spock doesn't take any time to think. "Tonight would be sufficient."

You nod. "My quarters."

He nods.

"Okay, you'll probably have to add another bead, so it'll fit. Let me—" you shift closer to him, taking a look at the bracelet in his hand. "—look at it."

It's only slightly too small for him, now. He'd decided to use the small glass bead in an elaborate pattern of rust, royal blue and copper. You had used the large plastic beads, and jokingly put an S bead on the bracelet. Baby blue.

"I do not see the point in making bracelets, Doctor."

You laugh. He's been happily putting beads on a string. He'd taken around ten minutes just choosing colours.

"Only idea I could come up with, really. Part of human culture."

You lean over, shoulder bumping his. "Okay, that looks good. Can I check it?"

Spock's eyebrow twitches. "Yes. That is agreeable."

"Alrighty." You gently grab each end of his bracelet, and he sticks his hand out. You bring the bracelet up, cupping his wrist like a U.

"Huh." You huff, scooting forward. "Okay, yeah, that's good. Want me to tie it?"

You glance up, making eye contact with Spock. The green of his face makes your eyebrows crease, but his face stays impassive.

He nods.

You promptly begin tying the bracelet, tearing your gaze away from his.

Once you have it double knotted, you reach over to the table, retrieve the scissors, and grab his hand.

Once you've snipped the excess, you hide the knot under a bead.

"Doctor."

You hum. "Yes?"

When looking to Spock, you are met only by his unwavering stare and green cheeks. No words.

Your gaze travels down, your hand holding his.

"Oh fuck me."

"That does seem to be the message you are sending, Doctor."

#star trek spock #spock x reader #tos spock #aos spock #vulcan kiss

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mask131 · 4 months ago

Text

Just a quick reminder of something, because I saw people talk about this on recent posts...

So, I made a TON of posts explaining why it is important to remember that the Roman gods are not the Greek gods per se - as in, the Romans had a different view and perception of the Greek gods, and so ended up creating yes, mostly equivalents and counterparts to the Greek gods, but with their own religious and cultural significance slightly different from the Greek deities - each culture having its focus on a different thing. (Aphrodite became more of a motherly and national goddess, Hermes became suddenly very merchant and commerce obsessed and not much of a thief anymore, Poseidon's rule extended to all waters not just the sea, Ares became a god of peace and agriculture?) Etc, etc.

However I now see people taking this way further than it should. I am not surprised because that's what people do on the Internet, you tell them one thing and they extrapolate it all.

But so you know, the difference between Greek and Roman gods is only valuable and interesting by the times of the Ancient Greek and Romans themselves.

When you go by the Renaissance, or by the modern eras that followed it, you'll notice that all paintings and books and sculptures are about the Roman gods - Jupiter, Juno, Neptune, Venus, Mercury, Vulcan and whatnot. Does it mean they are about the Roman gods? NOT AT ALL! They're all about the Greek gods mainly, but mixed with some Roman elements.

That's something some people are apparetly not aware of, so I'll try to briefly summarize it for ya... By the Middle-Ages, people knew of what we call today the "Classical mythology" mostly and mainly through the Roman texts and authors. Later by the Renaissance some of the Greek texts and authors were rediscovered, shared around and used a lot - not all though, as the rediscovery of Ancient Greece would be slow and steady, and we still find new fragments of Greek texts today! But here's the gist: the Roman texts and legends having been there before the Greek ones in people's cultures and heads... By the Renaissance and forward, the Roman names of the gods were the one used by default. For them these names were the famous and recognizable ones, and almost the "truest" of their names... Even when depicting entirely Greek myths and legends.

Because that's the subtle trick of Renaissance and all that would follow: the Greek texts and legends being THE big piece everybody was talking about and discussing about, the gods depicted in the arts and fiction by these eras were mostly and mainly their Greek versions. But, due to the "I was here first" and pre-eminence of the Roman literature and culture in Europe, these Greek identites and personas of the gods were refered to by their Roman names, and the Greek myths coexisted with the Roman legends. And that's the whole point: throughout the history of modern Europe, the difference between Roman and Greek god does not matter because they were conflated and unified into one and same set of entity, and people didn't care about the difference.

Which is what led to today's belief that "Roman gods are just the Greek gods by a different name" - and also led to stuff like this horrible thing I experienced as a teenager when the teacher supposed to teach us about Latin, when talking about the Roman gods, just handed to us a description of the Greek gods and told us to just swap the Greek names with the Roman ones (this teacher was an AWFUL awful teacher, not mean, but very bad at her job).

Because yes, that's the irony: you'd think that because people were more familiar with Roman mythology and the Romans personas of the gods during the Middle-Ages and the Renaissance, the Roman gods would have overshadowed the Greek ones, but in effect that's the reverse. The Roman gods being erased by the Greek gods: which is why people still think today Mars is a bloodthirsty war god, or that Minerva has all the attributes of Athena, or that Mercury was just as much a god of thieves as of legal business. The main problem today isn't to highlight the purely Greek things - because the Ancient Greeks have won this historical battle. The problem is pointing out how the Roman gods had their own unique thing on the aside that the Greek gods did not.

In conclusion: yes, you can use paintings of Jupiter to illustrate an article about Zeus, because at the time they were made, the artist probably was thinking about Zeus but just used a different name.

#it might sound complicated #but really it is so simple #the roman gods are not the greeks gods #yet the roman gods *became* the greek gods through time #greek mythology #greek gods #roman gods #roman mythology

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