#but literally i tell them to stop spamming comments with the same comment they get up in arms

[wilted3sunflowers]

just to say upfront You not have any right to repost my art at all, you got here through your own course of actions and only now you want to suggest possibly 'I.d.'ing them yourself?

Multiple people block you and you keep harassing them, literally having an account called blockdodger22, @'ing people and you think that's okay? You do not know how to have any etiquette online, much less talking to people in a clear concise way and then getting pissy with them for not bending over backwards for you.  You have no concept of being respectful.  You are behaving as an obsessive, stalking, creep. Flat out. How are you online and do not take a block and leave.  It is as simple as that.

You did not even start out our first 'exchange' with a clear message and goal.

You kept commenting under peoples posts just at random, especially after just freshly following them. Saying "Image description?" and myself included didn't understand what you're even asking about. Under multiple posts you asked me that and I didn't even know what was wrong with my description under my image until a friend told me you were asking for a description of the image itself not that you were questioning the actual description under my image.  Another person even brought to my attention you flat out said to them on their own post "Image description?" "I should not have to ask more than once." paraphrasing as you even mistyped once then corrected your typo. So much time to just correct that and comment instead of just. doing what you command of people.  What gives you the right to even demand any of that from anyone?  

Which is not even a proper exchange, it's you barking orders at people like they're a bot and not someone to converse with. You put your time and energy into continuing this act not just towards sme but multiple other people online. Instead of just bringing it up to someone and leaving them with the choice to try to do it or not. You do not get to demand what people put on their posts or not. If it has been such an issue do not follow them. For me I want to post my artwork with the minimal words i can because I'm tired. I want to post and go. This is an art blog. I post my art and I go. I do not even have a far reaching "platform" like you're trying to insinuate. If i did, i would've been able to keep up my patreon with enough money to comfortably have. But I didn't and I had to close my patreon because i could not grow it and all my energy went into patreon rewards with very little income for me and couldn't actually find the time to create what I wanted.

You want to act like this is me hating accessibility but this is you wanting to come on, annoy people unprompted, numerous times to random people on the internet and being blatantly rude and demanding and backpedaling as if this is an actual care. 

You are a rude and hypocritical individual coming up to bother people  in the name of "accessibility" . You do not genuinely care. 

People who actually cared would not go this obsessive, harassing, rude length. You spend more energy doing this than doing what you say you set that server out to do! In multiple times you wanted to 'contact me' you would post the same comment under over 10 posts with no clarity, I tell you i'm annoyed and with a broken keyboard with multiple people attesting because they're actually close enough to see me in discord servers and streams to see the broken keys you wanted to act as if you knew better. as if I'm the liar. you came onto my posts just to get snotty and bratty. So I of course block you. months pass, I get a new laptop, you use your blockdodger22 tumblr account and only THEN want to declare there's a discord server to 'help'. 

"But I literally sent you a link to people who will do this for you. And I'm in that server too. I'm in there helping people who care about accessibility." If this is how you act to random people online, why would I ever want to come into a server with you? If this is how you behave? Why would anyone? 

if you did care you would flat out be commenting on the image description you want to see typed out for yourself. As many people already DO on tumblr without any issue at all! you wouldn't have to do this fake song and dance.

 I've had multiple people in the past of my works,- typically only Steven universe fanart itself which i do not make a ton of, only adopts, They will reblog with the image description. They don't even have to ask, they just do it. Why? Because thats what they want to do and what they care about. You want to say "Oh I'm only trying to help, I guess you don't care about accessibility." You did not want to help, you wanted to make a mountain out of a molehill to random people online who are not influencers or even big time corporations. You are not treating anyone I see you come into contact with any respect or politeness.  

All you genuinely want is to either 

1. feel better about yourself thinking you're doing  good with something you're not putting the actual energy towards that you say is important to you. Like other people online, who do that thing and especially do it for artists unprompted because they want to SEE it being done and take the time for themselves. 

or

2. to look for a fight using these people as a smokescreen because you keep obsessively trying to get people's attention on their posts and then act automatically like you're in the right despite being nasty and rude online.

If you cared so much you would be putting your money where your mouth is. You would be putting your energy into putting all these image descriptions on these images that you want without all this fluff. But you don't, why? I genuinely don't care for an answer from you. I want you to leave me and everyone else alone.

There's people behind these screens, you don't care, you only care if people do what you say at a moment's notice. 

You want to say I don't care about people with disabilities for the fact I don't do one thing. One thing that only you have demanded of me in all my ten years on this blog.

 You're acting as if I'm bashing people online and saying they have no right to be here. As if I hate them. You're now just wanting to paint a broad stroke of me hating disabilities in general instead of the actual topic at hand. I make multiple characters with disabilities for myself and my adopts. That I myself have issues too.

 I am doing my own thing. I am simply posting my art. You are simply annoying the hell out of many artists myself included. 

This is a matter of me disliking you. 

Especially when I found out you are not only harassing me but people around me, other artists and even smaller artists at that! What gives you the gall and the right to be acting so self righteous when all you've done is act as a genuine dick to people. 

[kirain]

oh God I hope, those ‘how dare you pick Gale?!’ anons, don’t annoy you too much or sour Astarion for you. Both are great romances and I’m glad Gale gets some love as well.

Admittedly, Astarion fans have kind of been souring his character for me, but I'm trying very hard not to let that happen. My friend and I were actually talking about this yesterday, funny enough. She's an Astarion fan, but she admits the hateful energy people have for Gale is pretty hypocritical, because everything people hate about him also blatantly applies to Astarion. The insecurity, the emotional outbursts, the trauma, the arrogance—they're literally two sides of the same coin, and liking them shouldn't be a competition.

When I first met Astarion, we didn't really vibe, but I was content with his character ... until I started getting anons and comments on Tumblr, TikTok, Twitter, and YouTube from people bashing Gale; calling him an incel, possessive, selfish, etc., and all in comparison to Astarion, for some reason. It seems like every time I write a nice comment or analysis of Gale, I'm challenged by Astarion fans who berate me for liking Gale more. Or for romancing him at all. I've received the weirdest comments, from people saying Gale supposedly abused Mystra (even though he's the victim in an unfair power dynamic) to someone telling me his grooming "isn't a big deal" because he was probably in his late teens to early twenties the first time Mystra "slept" with him. 😕

Someone even told me he's like an alcoholic who can't stop drinking, and as someone who grew up with an alcoholic father, that's both insulting and completely incorrect. You can't just walk away from an addiction after one conversation, the way Gale can. I know it's just a game and normally I enjoy a good debate, but some of the comments I've received are downright feral, to the point that I'm hit with ad hominems and accusations. I like Gale, therefore I must be a horrible person, stupid, an incel-lover, a glutton for abuse, etc.

There are entire subreddits and YouTube videos dedicated to hating on Gale, as if he's the main villain of the game or something. And even more scary, some fans have taken their discourse to the actors directly. Apparently when Tim Downie was on Neil Newbon's podcast, people in the comments were calling him an incel and telling Neil not to give him a platform. Tim is just a nerdy British guy with a wife and kids, he probably doesn't even know what an "incel" is. Luckily the mods caught most of it and banned a lot of users, but the comments were getting spammed with Gale hate.

But I'm trying not to take it out on Astarion, as I know it's not really fair for me to do so. I also know this is probably just a vocal minority of vicious fans that don't represent the community as a whole. Plus, I think Neil Newbon did an incredible job and he seems like a genuinely nice person. I don't want to hate his character, especially since I know Astarion can change. In fact, I just finished his personal quest and found his little "thank you for saving me" speech to be quite sweet and heartfelt. And thank you for your kindness. You're the first person who's told me you enjoy both characters and that you appreciate both of their romances, so that restores some of my faith. ❤

[lovecuprite]

Caps on for this post so its easier to read because I'm serious today + screenshots/message included + if you plan on commenting, read the whole thing

I wasn't going to make this post but I actually decided it would be good because sometimes people need to take accountability and also so it doesn't happen to others. if you cba to read it, i've highlighted the key points

I'm sure you'll see this, in which case, I messaged you and I thought we could stop what you were doing civilly, but instead you continued to spam my inbox. And since I knew it was you, I blocked you anyway, but it's all good because you blocked me right after you realised I knew. You said I dragged your name through the mud and I didn't, I referred to you as 'x' and didn't even say anything, but in this post, I am going to name you as clitfilms directly. (if you message me to own up to it and apologise, i will honestly take this down)

I am not commenting on the role she did/didn't play in her own drama, this is merely about her bringing people into it that aren't involved and creating more drama herself by lying and spamming my inbox.

So, as some of you may know, recently I had someone in my inbox tell me that people were talking about me in discord servers and saying I was clitfilms. (see ask here) and then i defended myself here

This anon refused to give proof when I asked, just said that what they (let's call them a and b because i don't want to name them) did to clitfilms should be enough.

(black image next to it is just so it displays better on the phone)

But that's no proof at all. If you know someone's said something, you should have screenshots and yet you had none, so I already doubted this anon. On top of that, I messaged a and b and cleared it up with them myself, but as I said, the no proof was the main doubter here for me.

I then began to suspect that the anon was clitfilms, maybe she wanted an ally and thought if I was attacked in the same way, I'd side with her. I had no proof of this, aside from this timing coincidence.

A little weird that clitfilms posts exactly when I get these 3 anon messages, but maybe a coincidence. So I just think it to myself but I won't accuse her of it, right?

Okay moving on, I turned anon off because it was annoying but then after I cleared the 'talking about me' stuff up with a and b a few days later, I put it back on.

Then, 23rd of Oct I get this ask:

(click the image on the right to see the full image, showing battery/time etc. to show that timing wise, the post and ask were sent literally a minute apart)

I didn't know her name was Naya because I've only checked her blog to clear up rumours in that one post and didn't stop to get her name, but since her drama keeps popping up in my inbox, I decided to check her page after getting this ask.

There, I discovered that her name is Naya and on top of that, someone had sent her this post. Which means in the 1/2 minutes that post of hers was up, someone managed to see it, check my post/read hers, then comprehend it and then send that anon message.

Now maybe someone has crazy super speed reading and absorbed it all in 2 seconds to then send me that anon message but to me it seems like she had already copied and pasted a message ready for my inbox that she sent as soon as she posted.

& that was so suspicious to me and exactly when I felt I wasn't crazy to think it was her the first time.

After this, I was tired of getting these asks and honestly was just waiting for more to come in, they were spread out a little so it seemed like they were different people' (ha, how wrong that was) but I wanted it to stop.

In my mind, there's two ways to stop this, make a post saying 'clitfilms leave my inbox', or send her a message. So I decide to unblock her and message.

I'm not going to blast someone's name if I can solve it with them privately, regardless of if what she's doing is shady & downright hypocritical based on what she seems to be posting about. (Just something I don't want to do unless I absolutely have to)

And for me personally, spreading my name around in people's inboxes, acting like different people in my own inbox to convince me of your lies and then spamming me? I can't just ignore that.

I don't know if my message comes across as mad, but I was, so I don't really care. Getting constant anons for no reason is so annoying, especially when you know who it is.

Now in this message, I addressed the anon claims directly (no point beating around the bush when I know clitfilms typed them to me) Which is where my points 1/2 came from.

So now she knows that I know for certain it's her.

5 minutes later, another ask comes in and then later after that, another one:

The one asking for 'proof that I know it's clitfilms’ comes 5 minutes after I message her basically saying I know it's you.

At this point, I'm certain it's her but hey maybe that's a coincidence too and the anon was instead referencing that ask from earlier. again though, the timing is crazy coincidental.

I don't know how many times anon asks can match up with clitfilms posts/interactions on several different days over several different weeks and it not be her. There are only so many coincidences that you can brush off.

I didn't screenshot every single ask, especially not the original copy/paste ones that I think many people got because I didn't know I'd make this post and after blocking sender, they're gone now.

But, I know I got an ask defending her on the 7th oct, again don't know what time but she was posting about the drama on that day.

And also, I was tagged on a post with one of a / b and on the same day, that was when she was first mentioned in my inbox.

Which now kinda feels like, she didn't know who I was, saw that post, realised I might be mutuals with a/b and quickly messaged me to say they were bullies to prevent them from 'manipulating more people to turn against her'.

Saying that, I have never ever gotten a single bad ask about clitfilms. Every ask was defending her like that was their life's goal.

And linked to that, this ask from earlier came through on Oct 19th around 3/4am bst. One of a/b got a message in their inbox too, saying I was clitfilms (again, sorted now) & I didn't want to message them again because we don't know each other, but I wonder if they got that ask around the same time I got mine. That one I don't know because I haven't asked, but just a thought, wouldn't be surprised considering everything else adds up.

^^ since this little paragraph, i don't have exacts to prove it, you can ignore

Anyway, I'm going off topic.

Then finally, I had made this post, which I then reblogged. Which states that when I pressed 'block sender' on one of those anon asks, they all disappeared too.

So every single one of those anons was the same fucking person and at this point, like come on. Does she have some crazy fan that has singlehandedly been defending her honour in my inbox consistently over several days? Like how am I supposed to not think it's her?

Additionally, I feel like she'd be quick to say she's being 'framed', but in one of the earlier examples, where she was online at the same time as anon, the anon ask i got was a few minutes prior to her post. and how would they know she'd be online in a few minutes, to then decide to send me an ask?? They'd have to be some crazy mind reader that predicts when she posts, to perfectly time an ask to frame her.

That connected with everything else just makes it so blatant.

And so if I've messaged you and then you continue spamming me, you're a lost cause, there's no getting around it other than blocking you again.

So I reblogged that post ^^ (because I was honestly laughing at how crazy someone has to be to go to those lengths, on tumblr of all places), blocked her and in the same second, she blocked me too.

So you're not in my inbox, but you ignore my message, your chance to defend yourself and then block me after refreshing my page and seeing me confirm again that I know it's the same person sending those asks...hm okay.

Personally, if it were me, I'd want to defend myself if I was innocent. And I gave you that chance to have a conversation privately.

But instead, you block me, someone who's profile i'm sure you'll say you've never seen, on 0 grounds, other than the fact that I think you're harassing me, makes you look even more guilty. But hey, maybe it's just me.

In my opinion, with all of that, it's so painfully obvious that it was clitfilms constantly doing this to me, but take it however you want.

I just can't stand to see people doing stuff like this and then trying to act like it's not them. Take some accountability like damn girl.

On that post of hers (with my post linked), after her rant, she tags it with this, yet she's the one in my inbox.

If she can lie and do that to me, what else can she do? Which is why I feel the need to say something, before clitfilms does it again to someone else.

[callofdudes]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/2jgb83/farting_on_a_kids_face_not_my_story_didnt_find_it/

I need to know how the boys from 141 would react to their S/O or best friend doing this 😂

Wow 😂 Thank you anon, sorry this took so long.

Reacting to your story of farting on a kid.

Simon Riley.

When I tell you this man will cackle. He will howl.

Spouse or best friend he would respect you so much for doing this. Thank you for giving him this entertaining story to tell every mentally ill person he knows for the next million years. He's telling Johnny. He’ll probably tell Price too.

Simon would 100% do it as well.

Hell you probably learned it from him! Who really knows anymore. But he thinks it's the funniest thing. Yep.

The type of guy to bring it up shamelessly at some family or friends gathering and make you feel incredibly unproud of your story.

He'd probably start going shopping with you just to see if he could catch you doing again.

He's probably the one who posted that reddit story of you honestly.

John MacTavish.

It's a toss up between being horrified or thinking it's bloody hilarious. It could easily be both.

Like Simon he would tell this story thousands of times, probably to the same five people and forget that he's told them before.

Would also follow you to the store to see if you'd get the chance to do it again.

Would start sending you a million fart memes a day and you can't get him to stop no matter what you do.

Would say he had a dream about you doing it. Or would roll over in his half sleep and whisper in your ear of what you've done. You either can't sleep or you're too smug to sleep.

Will expose you at family gatherings. Has zilch shame.

Yes, he will take this as a very oddly specific invitation to constantly Dutch oven you in the morning. Don't ask him the correlation, but he will. Don't test him.

Kyle Garrick.

Does not think you are ok. He thinks it's funny. But he probably won't cackle like the others. Chuckle a little and tell you you really taught him.

I don't think he's do much with this information honestly. He'd bring it up to you from time to time.

He's probably too embarrassed to be seen with you in public anymore. Unlike Simon and Johnny he is scared to follow you into stores in fear you'll start Dutch ovening random kids.

Won't tell friends or family because then they'll relate you to him and he had nothing to do with that monstrosity.

Although he will send you a yearly spam of fart gifs and puns to make the anniversary of the day you told him.

John Price.

Wtf.

“Egg, the fuck is wrong with you my sergeant. My child. My sweet-”

To be fair, it's a little funny to him once he sits on it a bit. Once he mulls over the info you've given him then yeah, he absolutely finds it funny.

But in the moment you come to tell him in his office he's too tired for this crap. Literally. He's considered chucking you in the same mental hospital as Simon for daily check-ins.

You will be the one who brings it up. Always reminding him what you're capable of and jow “cold-hearted you are.”

Will proceed to fart in that very moment with a completely straight face. And it's always foul. Always.

Either way you spin it he gives dad energy so if you give him something to run with he’ll take it a mile down cherry lane.

Won't bring it up at gatherings or anything because like Gaz, you will be traced back to him and he doesn't want that. Nuh uh.

[stormblessed95]

https://twitter.com/Jimin95themoon1/status/1621616058418200576?s=20&t=xAoITSGIwQJbSL8ykSMtjw

don't you think this whole thing is takem out of context ? I was so happy when I saw the moment but it seems like it's nothing when watching the whole thing's translation. JK didn't even knew Jimin's group chat name, because he THOUGHT it was Yoongi who told him not to drink on live but turned out it was JM. Jimin himself admitted it, that it was HIM who told JK not to drink on live. Why would he not know his supposed bf's name in their group Chat ? And why would suga says not to do drunk vlive when he is doing a drinking show? It's usually Jimin who says not to do drunk vlives. And the way he told 'bam 😭😭😭😭' like it's been ages since he saw them. Someone told it looks like JK also didn't saw JM for ages now from the way he wished him good health.

Also his face lit up when he saw an artist's comment which is highlighted. It was after he scrolled down he found it was Jimin and he greeted him. I dont think this moment is anything special other than JM suddenly being intrested in him and spamming non stop after yesterday shitstorm tkk brought to Jimin's part of the Fandom.

Sigh.

Jimin: aww cute puppy 😭😭

like anyone who sees a dog acting cute/existing. Even with our own dogs. He literally just said Bam and crying emojis.

This translates to him not seeing Bam in a long time, how? And define long time? Because you send me a photo of my dog and/or my kids or even my husband after I've been away from them for half a day and I'm like "wahhhh I love you guys. So cute."

Also Jimin: lmao don't do a live if you are drinking!!

This translates to him being the one who messaged the GC about JK doing drinking lives? When it's been a company "rule" about no drinking on vlive since forever even if they all break it sometimes? Again, how? JK didn't recongize/remember the nickname on the GC right away and thinks it's probably Yoongi hyung. Just because Jimin later popped up, saw him drinking and jokingly scolded him the same way doesn't necessarily mean it was him doing the group chat scolding.

You exposed yourself for being on the anti side of Twitter with your ending comments of how he "wished him good health" like he hasn't seen him in forever. Jikook literally flirt (and you can take this word in a romantic or platonic way, whichever floats your boat, it works both ways) with each other by speaking overly formally. Did you miss all the drops in honorifics and casual conversation that happened in between all that? JK telling Jimin to stay in good health is the equivalent of me telling my partner to be safe and vice versa when we go out places.

JK was happy to see a member comment and was happy to see it was Jimin and then spent the whole live asking and wanting Jimin to still be there. Leave him the fuck alone and let him (and us) be happy over his happiness.

Jimin didn't admit shit to anything you are claiming. Stop twisting his words. Grow up and read real translations. Or if you DID read real translations. Work on your reading comprehension skills. I have some websites we use to practice with my kids at home I can recommend if you want.

Won't be answering bullshit like this again. You got me once with my general desire to debate and correct idiocy! *shakes fist* you won't get me again!

[roxannedaybreakermidnight]

Tackling a few of my most recent experiences wiwth the internet. Don't read if harassment and racism trigger you. I don't mean harm, this is supposed to be a safe space. Comments I deem negative will be deleted so that others feel comfortable just going around and say whatever.

1. Shipping

I completely understand people's worries with Punkflower but guys, instead of worrying about non confirmed ages, can we worry about kicking out actually problematic people off the internet doing stuff to real life minors? Miles was 14 when I was 14. He is now 15 and I am 18, I still love Miles the same way, ans that doesn't compromise my morals.

A person's ship between characters doesn't say about their morals entirely. Of course, sometimes it's undeniably creepy, like characters clearly presented as parental figures being shipped with kids that were supposed to look up at them. That's weird, don't do that. Or, idk, thinking it's a good idea to jerk your dog off. (I saw documentaries, those who do too knkw what I am talking about)

Point is, pls don't harass people who don't mean actual harm. Hobie's uncomfirmed age range shouldn't cause as much hate as it does. I disagree with nsfw from time to time because it is weird, but I mostly see couple-y stuff with a few jokes, and honestly? I absolutely adore it. I encourage you to try it. I used to absolutely hatee on people who ship any characters slightly older with whatever character the topic is. I would literally try to gate keep the whole fanart community cause "She's a minor, STOP!" and honestly it was stupid asf. I'm not telling you to encourage it, just don't be mean about it. It feels stupid. If you don't disagree, and the post isn't causing harm, just don't engage.

2. Shameless racism/harassment

Recently I've faced people both in and out of omegle who seem particularly shameless, feeling safe around their little homes thinking ol' mean me won't mind. I am using this opportunity to expose a particular someone who seems very keen on being weird. I grew up around weird guys, and I often identify them easily, but for some reason I pushed the lil gut feeling away. If you have the same problem, pls listen to that feeling. It's there to avoid situations that might be upsetting.

Starting with Omegle, people seem very comfortable with racism (and search of minors to flash them). I receive jokes indicating they want me to be shot, find me ugly, make faces of disgust, call me a slave, etc etc. Not to mention I even found teenagers joking about beastiality being 'awesome'. Kids rlly need to get supervised, cause I am telling y'all, some were barely 14.

Now, I had an interesting interaction on instagram with a Miles Morales account. He came to me cause I was rping as Peter and invited me in his server on discord. I got the gut feeling from his habit of trying to flirt with Gwen profiles and spamming pictures of him in a suit. For some reason, some people have a pattern of spamming pictures when they want praise and always require attention from specific people, and I know this cause I've been harassed over this before. Days later, I was matching with my bff as an anime couple so I changed and he realized I'm born female. He asked me to be rio instead, without knowing my age, and went ahead and offered 'fun', and that 'I can't tell anyone'. What happened essentially is that I called him out, he said I was disrespecting him, I blocked him, so he made a new account to cuss me out and threaten to report me. I feel indifferent about it, but if you have anyone with similar behavior, save yourself the trouble and block them. (His discord is 'dmoney520' so avoid interacting w him pls)

3. Sexualizing a content creator

I don't mean Dream, or corpse husband, or whoever tf. I am talking about a poor 16(ish) year old called Eddie who makes content for the fact he sounds like Hobie brown, and he has people saying shit like "wanna get pregnant?" The guy just started worrying about whatever the place he lives in worries around this time.

It's honestly creepy how people will actively harass punkflower creators but then barely notice a full ass guy who is still deemed a minor regardless of what American law says getting weirdass comments from people they don't even know. Literally flabbergasted at this discovery. Not mad, just genuinely upset.

These people often forget that websites can track their activity and its hilarious to me, so whatever. This was my report on my feelings after a week of internet, and honestly? I wanna delete it. My punkflower AU happy ending is coming so if that's what you wanted, great!

[elibean]

listen these boys have me in a vice grip ok, ive spat out like 5 fic for them in a week. this has literally never happened to me before lmao

anyway i signed up for an ao3 account and i should be done with that soon so i’ll stop spamming the tag with my fics. BUT UNTIL THEN, you’re stuck with me >:D

this runs with the “LG is from an alternate timeline” theory! 

when cxs first meets back up with LG and doesn’t think he’s alive, he ugly cries. When he is reminiscing abt lg when he thinks he’s dead, he ugly cries. I thought hey, lg isn’t very emotional. We really only see him get riled up as it pertains to cxs. What would it take for him to cry? And this is the product of that train of thought xD I’m sorry. Also whatever route s2 ends up taking, this will inevitably no longer jive with canon but hey for now it works!

           Every timeline, no matter how hard he tried, always resulted in this. Always, always, always. He should have stayed dead when possessed Qiao Ling stabbed him. It would have been better than reliving this over and over and over again. The blood on his hands; the way Cheng Xiaoshi looked at him; the touch of his hand to Lu Guang’s cheek; the way the lie “it’s going to be okay” was coughed out of his mouth; everything; all of it.

           He awakes with a start. Having nightmares; having THAT nightmare, isn’t unusual. But awaking to Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice calling out to him concernedly is.

           “Lu Guang?” he whispers. “You were murmuring in your sleep,” he continues. Lu Guang takes a minute to regain his composure. He’s sweating and his heart is racing a mile a minute.

           “Did I wake you? Sorry,” he stammers out, his voice unsteady, and that’s when he notices his eyes are wet. Shit, was I crying too?

           “It’s cool.” Back to silence. Lu Guang thinks Cheng Xiaoshi must’ve fallen back asleep. He should try to do the same, but he knows better. Knows he won’t be falling asleep anytime soon, if at all.

           “Lu Guang?” he murmurs.

           “Yes?”

           “You were…” he begins, but then pauses, like he doesn’t want to say it. A breath in. Then: “You were calling out for me in your sleep.” Lu Guang feels heat rise to his face. Embarrassing. But also, he’s mad at himself that Cheng Xiaoshi must have heard him being so pathetic, so vulnerable.

           Normally he’d deny it. Laugh it off. Call Cheng Xiaoshi an egotistical idiot for thinking Lu Guang would be calling out his name in his sleep, of all people. But. But the memory of blood is so fresh in his mind, of Cheng Xiaoshi’s lifeless body, everything, it’s all…Shit, he’s crying again.

           It must not be as quiet as he thinks, either, because Cheng Xiaoshi exclaims, “Lu Guang!” Hold it in, Lu Guang commands himself. He hears the mattress below him shift as Cheng Xiaoshi gets out of bed.

           “Lu Guang, get down here,” he commands, and who is Lu Guang to say no? He gets up and climbs down the ladder. Upon seeing Cheng Xiaoshi standing there, Cheng Xiaoshi who had been dead in his dreams moments before, who had been dead in another reality before, he breaks down, crumbling to the floor. Ugly, loud sobs. He thinks Cheng Xiaoshi looks surprised, but it’s hard to tell through the tears. He feels, rather than sees, the warm embrace of his companion, and oh, that makes it worse.

           “Hey, hey! I’m right here, it’s okay, everything’s okay,” he soothes, stroking Lu Guang’s back. There’s something ironic about being held and comforted like this by Cheng Xiaoshi, but he’s in no state to make a snarky comment on it. Instead, he hugs back tighter, digging his fingers into the fabric of Cheng Xiaoshi’s shirt. It’s too tight, it must hurt, he should apologize, but the only sounds that can come out of his mouth are sobs; sobs that make him shake and struggle for air.

           “Shh, shh. It’s okay,” Cheng Xiaoshi repeats, and how wrong he is. Sure, it’s okay now, but it won’t be okay, at some point, not if he can’t change things, not if…more tears.

           Eventually he quiets down, and reluctantly pulls away. He sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve.

           “Better?” Cheng Xiaoshi asks, his eyes full of concern, and something else Lu Guang can’t put a finger to. No, he thinks, but he doesn’t say that. He weakly nods.

           “Do you wanna talk about it?” No, he thinks again, but he’s tired, and sad, and devastated, and exhausted, and…

           “You died,” he splutters out. Tears threaten to spill out again. “You died, and died again,” and now he’s lying— the dream was only one loop, not the reality he’s lived over and over, but he’s already talking, “and again, and I couldn’t save you. I tried, I tried, I tried, and I failed every time, and—”

           “Oh, Lu Guang,” Cheng Xiaoshi breathes out, worry and concern lacing every syllable.

           “I just wanted to save you, that’s all I was trying to do,” he manages to get out. He looks up to Cheng Xiaoshi who is looking back at him, feeling helpless that he can’t make things better. Lu Guang breathes in. “Why can’t I save you?” he whispers, and shit, he’d screwed up, he should have said “Why couldn’t I save you?” This was supposed to be describing a dream, not the reality he’d lived over and over again, but it just slipped out. If Cheng Xiaoshi noticed, he doesn’t show it. He says nothing, but he grabs his hand.

           “Feel this?” he asks, and he does. He feels the warmth of Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand, of the hand he’s clapped and high-fived so many times before. The hand that’s punched him in anger, that’s gripped onto his shoulder as he cried. He feels the crevices in the skin, the nooks and crannies, the roughness that he’s offered skin cream to help with in the past. He feels his pulse thrumming through his wrist. Cheng Xiaoshi interlaces their fingers. “It’s me. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He’s wrong. Lu Guang can’t bring himself to look at him. “Hey. I mean it,” Cheng Xiaoshi says firmly, and releases his hand, which makes Lu Guang immediately miss the warmth. He brings his hand up to Lu Guang’s face slowly, and gently wipes away his tears. This makes Lu Guang look at him, and oh, oh, he loves him, he loves him and he’s going to die and there’s nothing he can do—

           “I’m here. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere,” he repeats. He’s a liar. He will go somewhere, but Lu Guang can’t tell him that. So he only nods, feebly. Cheng Xiaoshi moves to hug him once more, and Lu Guang melts into it. This will have to be enough, for now.

           Later, Lu Guang will have to go back to work. Back to work to figure out how to save Cheng Xiaoshi, how to protect moments like these, protect him.

           But for now he hugs Cheng Xiaoshi back, maybe a little too tightly, and lets himself calm down. The boy is alive, and safe, and here, with him. For now, in this moment, everything is okay.

           For now.

[voxasks]

🫐idk how to do this so i'm just gonna yap i have no clue what my personality type is but one of my favorite characters that i mildly related to was an INTJ 4w5 so i just took that and ran with it. uhh idk if i'm an introvert or extrovert it just depends on my mental state ig. i've been kinda tweekin recently so i'm loud in public like this dude one time caught me saying some of the most devious ahh shii known to man so i pointed at some random dude and blamed bro for saying it and then i sang the my little pony theme song but like 4 octaves higher. my friends hate me i also have no morals whatsoever so i'm cooked. the only reason why i'm not some bonkers dude on a documentary is because i'm a pathetic loser who doesn't actually go through with anything, i just lose interest or go 'nah this is way too much work' i'm a dude and 4'10" (idk lowkey my fault for not taking nutrition supplements when my doctor told me to) and idk what i like because i just have a hyperfixation and then i go batshit over it for several months (my longest hyperfixation was on a character for a year and i spent like 5k on merch of that character and now i highkey hate waking up to see the character's face literally everywhere) i dislike greasy foods with a burning passion, animals of all types (including insects) but actually i highkey used to like sharks but then they got popular online and agreeing with people on tiktok brings me physical pain. oh yeah i also dislike a lot of people online if they disagree with my opinion but depends on my mood because if i'm feeling mildly upset then i spam them with replies and tell them i love them and for them to have a good day but in the most toxic positive way possible and if i'm having a happy day then i do the same thing but i also slander everything i know about them for hobbies i love getting attention, positive or negative like honestly it's so fun. i go on social media a lot i'm pretty much just terminally online except i don't keep up w/ gossip majority of the time because i have no clue who celebrities are. oh yeah i love getting concern i never follow their advice or whatever all i do is make a joke about how pathetic my existence is and they rather don't care or they show concern and either way i get pissed so maybe i should stop with that lmao tbh whenever i read through the things i write i literally sound like those 'quirky >w<' 2020 gacha life ocs i feel like everyone with an ounce of humanity would realize i'm straight up embarrassing anyways ily have a good day!! take care of yourself :3333

“yeah  i'm  gonna  be  real  fucking  honest  with  you  kid—halfway  through  your  life  story  i  genuinely  forgot  i  was  looking  through  my  inbox  and  thought  i  was  reading  an  article  on  a  serial  killer.  you  say  you  don't  have  morals  but  then  you  draw  the  line  at  greasy  foods  and  tiktok?  i  mean  alright  sure  but  then  you  go  on  to  bully  other  people  on  the  internet  over  a  bad  mood?  i'd  say  get  a  life  but  i'm  pretty  sure  if  you  tried  you  would  have  dropped  yourself  on  the  head  like  you  were  as  a  kid.  you  sound  like  someone  who  has  over  ten  restraining  orders  filed  against  them  and  they  still  have  no  clue  as  to  why.  well  fuck  that's  ten  minutes  of  my  time  i'm  never  taking  back—you  have  me  mourning  over  lost  time  when  i'm  a demon  in  literal  fucking  hell,  congrats.  let  me  guess,  you'll  probably  celebrate  by  being   a  keyboard  warrior  in  the  comments  of  this  post,  like  if  junko  enoshima  was  online.  yeah,  that's  the  energy  this  is  giving.” 

based off of the 200 follower event.

“🫐 — tell vox about yourself and he’ll give you his inner thoughts about you.”

[stranger-rants]

Can you leave a minor (Noahsworld96) alone? He's literally a 15 year old. Multiple people have pointed out his age. And the fact he has to say he's a survivor of abuse to get taken seriously is wild! Billy fans (me included) talk about sympathy and caring for minors who are survivors, then turn around and act like that towards someone who is so young! It's sad ☹️. Billy was 17 and a fictional character, yet people can't show the same care for a real 15 year old? Just because he doesn't like your favorite character in a show? And just because he hasn't dived as deep into the character? It's sickening how 20+ year olds are treating him. Death threats, slurs, telling him to k*ll himself. He's a kid with autism and is gay! Leave him alone! If my son got treated this way I have no clue what I'd do! It's sickening. His brain is still developing and he's been called so many hateful things, all because of a character in a show ☹️.

-Anon so people don't spam report me like they do when called out

I commented on their post which was posted in the tags, and replied to their comments on a post. There is no ongoing conflict between us, and I had advised them on another post they tagged as #harringrove to report any messages that were harmful.

I'm not in the habit of checking people's bios before commenting on the posts that they put into the tags or the replies they make on posts. Regardless of age, if you put posts into the tags then people will comment on them.

That's how fandom engagement works.

Do you think I don't have arguments with the teenagers I work with? Do you think that the simple act of arguing with someone is harmful? I'm not mad at them, nor do I think anyone should be saying anything bad to them.

They obviously have a lot to learn, and that's okay. I don't begrudge them for that. Multiple other blogs commented on their replies. While not everyone was nice about it, no one encouraged anyone to harass or harm them for their opinions.

I have no ill will towards this person, nor am I encouraging anyone to attack them. I find it suspicious that you're asking me to leave them alone when I haven't said anything to or about them since our exchange of words.

You sound exactly the same as someone who contacted me on my other account about the same issue. If you are then I've already talked to you about this privately. I have screenshots of that exchange for anyone who wants or needs to see them.

You use the exact same words. I don't believe you're a Billy or Harringrove blog. I think you're just trying to push a conflict that doesn't exist. I'm not going to this person's blog harassing them, and I've already reached out to them to report the harassment.

You can stop obsessing and leave me alone.

[this-is-krikkit]

Hey Krikkit 💚💜

As you probably noticed, I decided to read all of your fics on AO3 & to spam your inbox with my [shitty] comments on every chapter lmao

I finished reading "Practice" 2 hours ago & let me tell you you wrote the best & most beautiful levihan first kiss scene I've ever read 🥹 Reading your fics is such a pleasure I can't stop !!!

So for 2 hours now, this one-shot's been living rent free in my head & I literally crave for a part 2 , where we see the actual kiss scene on stage with Erwin-Prince-of-Eldia High, maybe Levi's reaction to it (I'm sure he came to see the play & he mumbles the lines he learnt by heart), Hange realizing the kiss does not feel the same AT ALL, maybe a few dorky / awkward interactions between them before a second breathtaking kiss... *daydreaming**staring into space**hint of a smile**drooling a little*

Thank you for making me feel so much feels 🙏

You're incredibly talented ❤️

ok look listen i'm not the best at taking compliments so your (amazing and not shitty at all u kidding?? made me cry thx i hate u ♥️) comment spree was an Emotional Challenge™️ to say the least, but know that people calling this their fave first levihan kiss is so fucking meaningful to me. i really tried to make it so it was the center of that OS without forgetting to write something around it so it's not just a kiss and that's it. thank you so much for appreciating that, your comment on it made me so happy.

i'm absolutely afskfkjfmdn (yes it's an adjective shut up 🫢) to learn that you're having headcanons about something i wrote?? 😭😭 that's the dream literally

not to get your hopes up but i did recently find a trope i want to build practice's second chapter around so it's in my wip folder, but i'm trying to focus on right as rain's next part right now (they say, having posted 2 totally unrelated one shots in the meantime lmao) so it's not gonna happen just yet 🫣

ah oui PS: T'ES UN A M O U R de personne ok?? jspr que tu le sais.

[wattpadscapcons]

Thinking about completely restarting my account or just permanently moving to my alt and just doing the requests there. I literally almost have the same amount of posts as I do followers and it's overwhelming.

I could restart so easilyyyyyy! It's so tempting. And don't get me wrong when I say "restart" I don't mean deleting this account. Not that I hadn't thought about that before either with the way some people behave online.

Though I know either way that I'll have to update my DNI and make it clearer bc I've like... been triggered quite a few times this week alone? If you're going to follow me and still disrespect me that's fine, but triggering me? Ohhhh nooo, no, no, no, no, no, I won't put up with that shit.

=

Plus ppl have been like lowkey kinda just bothering me w/ the way they act??? Like I get when you make content other people like and become popular for that you can fall victim to parasocial relationships or idolization but I find that so dumb. Like, I'm a person, not some celebrity? Hello?? So to everyone who's been "afraid to talk to me" or suddenly pop up in my dms with no prompt (and have interacted with me less than 3 times in any setting) + have no interest in talking to me past the point of like sending those spam chainmail things that are all like "send this to [#] of people who made you happy this month" can you like....stop?

It's honestly really discouraging to think that someone from the fandom is messaging me just to give me some spam.

=

It'd be different if someone came into my dms and was all like: "Hey I really like your work/I find your work to be inspiring/It makes me really happy whenever you post about [character] bc I love them sm and the way you write them is comforting/whatever etc!" That actually starts a conversation, gives me feedback on my work, and overall creates more mutuals for me to just interact with.

Tagging me in those like "create your character" threads bugs me too bc I've already told people NOT to tag me in those and I guess some people missed that memo? I mean I know a lot of you interact that way for like fun, but I'm just not into that. You can talk to me in the comments or you can yell at me in the dms. Reblogging is for starting fights and sharing other people's art/writings/edits/articles/videos.

And don't come in here being all like "well I like your stuff all the time isn't that enough??" like that only tells me you bookmarked my work. That doesn't tell me that you actually enjoyed the piece & aren't just looking to make fun of me on some secret discord group chat or something. How do I know you even read what I wrote if you're in here just liking several of my posts and then never interact with my blog again?

=

And god forbid someone not want to interact with me bc of my age, WHY ARE YOU EVEN FOLLOWING ME THEN??? I get it, I must be a dinosaur to some of you. Respect your own DNI! Or even better yet, they don't agree with the people I'm friends with, like I have any affect one what they do with their time.

Give me back my anons that would just send in asks just to say hello or check up on me. This isn't fun anymore. I feel like every time I've talked about this stuff before it's gone totally under the radar.

'People don't care about what you think outside of your fandom writings blah blah blah.' I have the right to be sensitive here. I have the right to feel how I do. If you guys don't give a damn about me, my opinions, and my feelings then just unfollow me right now bc I honestly don't need that in my life.

[sideshow-wolfie]

Hey, so why am I showing restrictions on certain roleplays through pretty much all the media platforms now?

// cw + tw: suicide, harassment, NSFW mentions, drama, mental health issues

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- School has previously gotten into my way reguarding roleplay, along with preparations for community college and so-on, which starts to make me limit things a lot.

- Only Roleplaying with very close friends, so if younger followers (under 15 or very younger) are only following me for a roleplay on either old art or a fandom I'm not into, I will NOT rp, and there will be no exceptions. (Do not force me either, because I've had one of them understand that I don't want to do them, while in the next day they full-on spammed me with roleplay startups with no plots at all)

(Close friends = Besties, even if we met already lol)

- Random Roleplay plots I've shown on older artwork don't seem to amuse me anymore, it's also due to the fact I used too much of a certain term (finding out who's a monster, along with basic/generic ideas).

- The roleplays I've been in with other friends have caused many people from a very manipulative fandom to randomly harass me for an old comment (one of them have something to do with interests, and one of them is about my roleplay startup idea, even ideas and theories), because apparently nobody minds their damn business now...

If you really see a comment that someone has gotten over, due to the fact they aren't comfortable anymore (we're talking MANY YEARS AGO), LEAVE IT!

- Several People (some were close too) have have ended friendships with me too, due to roleplays involving people taking their own lives, constantly repeating werewolf stories with random startups (please don't do this to anyone, because I certainly learned that lesson, even if it wasn't pretty), multiple people complained that my roleplays we're either too depressing to do, or that it's too dramatic to roleplay about, due to how the plot is written out.

(My other friends truly enjoy the drama and I pinch the fun in it too, so I don't get dramatic all the time, unless the story gets to the point where there's complicated things. and people seemed to hate that from me.)

- Self-shipping (along with oc x character) is apparently a "problem" to everybody, because certain individuals had called me obsessive with one character I truly liked (I used to, until drama happened), while others saw me as a kink person (you can't just call people that, especially the relationship wasn't sexual).

- Werewolves are constantly called furries (Werewolves are literally wolf monsters, while furries are people expressing themselves as an antropromorphic animal or alien species of an animal, which I was mostly harassed for being "kinky", when I was actually trying to do werewolf ideas and aren't furry related (none were sexual either)... Plus that's just plain Beastiality if you see that Werewolves are just for kinks.. like JESUS EW, why are you obsessed with telling people that... Another note is that NOT ALL FURRIES ARE SEXUAL!)

- Others have something to do with past drama, trust issues, moving on, rejection, and so on.

Do not be alarmed! I'll still manage to roleplay, but only for close friends (even if me and the guy just met)... My friends are the same when it comes to roleplaying or no roleplay.

Please note that people wanna stop role-playing or at least set limits on roleplays, because they either want to move on from a topic or that they've also had issues with roleplaying with the friends they'd had.

If they don't want to roleplay anymore, that's okay!

If they have limits on RP ideas or have just limited RP ideas, that's also okay!

If they don't roleplay... that's fine. ^w^

If they roleplay slow (due to other things), that's okay, even if it dies out... plus, don't attack them over a roleplay, because that's just being a douche.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Just got blocked by someone for “spam liking” their posts.. aka I found their fics through the search, read five in a row while in bed and liked them, and went to sleep. Woke up to go drop an ask about how much I enjoyed their stuff, reblog them from my likes, etc etc and I was blocked.. bro I don’t understand tumblr ~culture~ anymore. I just needed to sleep before putting my thoughts into words 😭 Tanisha I feel old and left behind

tbh this is something that gives me anxiety??

because so often, I will go onto someone's blog and like a bunch of posts specifically with the intention of queueing them or reblogging them later - especially because I have very specific preferences about how my blog is organized. so if someone's blog is 100% plushie themed or 100% DC themed, then I will like a bunch of their posts and intersperse those posts about things with other fandoms, because I much prefer when posts from different fandoms are alternated on my blog instead of there being huge blocks of several posts from the same fandom spammed at once

and yeah, as a fanfic writer, it does annoy me when someone makes it a habit of only liking my posts and never reblogging them. but with the fanfiction environment the way it is right now, if I went onto my fanfic sideblog and blocked every single person who only liked my fics instead of reblogging them, I would be blocking 80% of the people who read my fics. I would probably be blocking more than half my followers

and the whole point of posting fics at all is so that other people can enjoy them. I don't post fics for praise and admiration or because I want to see the posts get a lot of notes - I post the fics because I enjoyed writing them, and because I think they're good, so I want other people to enjoy them. if I wanted to stop people from seeing them (which is the purpose of blocking) then I just wouldn't post them at all. I genuinely do not get the logic of blocking someone who has been shown to enjoy your work

and with your situation - you can never tell if someone is liking a fic with the intention to reblog it later. everyone uses tumblr in their own way. and I am always tempted to block people with completely blank blogs who have proven that they do not use the reblog function at all - but even then, I don't want to block someone who clearly enjoys my fics.

(the only time I block someone for liking my fics is if they are a blatant thinspo blog, but that is a whole different rabbit hole)

yes, the primary function of this site is to reblog things, and it sucks that a lot of people don't use it, but blocking someone because they literally like and enjoy your posts is sooo insane. it feels like the equivalent of someone coming up to you irl, giving you a compliment, and then you being like "get the fuck away from me. how dare you"

and as far as the like vs reblog ratio aspect - (this is for Luna as well as for everyone reading, if you are someone who only likes fics and never reblogs them) I will always be more likely to write more for a fandom where my fics have more comments and more discussion, rather than more total notes (aka more likes).

if I am looking for a fic to make a sequel of, I never look at which fic has more likes - I look at which fic I personally enjoyed writing more or which fic people seemed more excited about in terms of discussion. if anything, a fic having more likes (and less reblogs and comments) deters me from making a sequel to it, because it just means that people are going to not leave comments on the sequel, or a fic having a lot of likes means that a lot of people are going to show up to the sequel feeling entitled for more (when that's not what I want for my fics lmao).

I have always counted fics as successful if they have fewer notes and more actual critical engagement.

but anyway - all that to say - fandom is pretty broken lately. people consume fanfiction far too quickly and mindlessly and then demand more, people harass fanfic authors rather than trying to participate in fandom, and fandoms are too large and over-saturated to be truly enjoyable unless you only engage with 10% of the current participants. which leads to stuff like this ^^ happening (aka people thinking others are being hostile toward them, when they are just well meaning and enjoying the same things as you)

[onlyjaeyun]

Honestly, same, and I know with all the weird people in the world, if you did slip in their dms they would be all wtf you weirdo. I especially hate it when people don't have their ages somewhere on there block, so you don't know if you are talking to an 05 liner or younger or something. Since like for me at least that's an immediate red flag and I just will avoid them then, and if they write smut I block them, since I immediately assume it's a minor who doesn't want others to know just how young they are, which like we've all been there at some point, but still I just can't. I've written for a lot of fandoms BTS, NCT, EXO, SVT, SKZ, Monsta X, SF9, TXT, Ateez, and some other groups that are now inactive or disbanded; and in my experience NCT fans were both the best and the worst, they liked everything, but they are also the meanest, like if they disagree with you on something they would leave comments on your fics and also spam your inbox letting you know their displeasure and you would have to block them to get it to stop, from what I've seen it seems 2023 NCTzens are much calmer than the 2020 NCTzens so that's nice. oof see me resurrecting my writing blog that has been dead for 3 years for a mfer named Park Sunghoon, and he's not even my Enyhpen bias, I gotta finish my fic first tho.

oh bestie when i tell you my time in the nctzen fandom was the best and worst time of my life it's bc of thise exact reasons you just named. i literally got so much love yet even more hate at any given time bc people in that fandom just.....don't want you to have anything good. it was sonnad they literally bullied me out of the nctzen writer scene to the point where i stopped actively being a kpop stan for months 😭 nctzens really are a hit or miss but i guess that's the same for all fandoms!

and about the whole age stuff: i wholehearted agree with this one too. i'm already hesitant interacting with 04/05 liners bc i dont want to make them uncomfortable and the reason why i also don't talk about wonie on here at all is bc of the fesr i might get hate for it 😭 i also instantly block people who dont have their age in their bio bc that shit's scary!!!!!

[noonaishere]

i just wanted to like tell you that your jaehyun smau was literally my fuel for a couple of days. i didn’t want to like every single chapter or comment a lot ‘cause i didn’t want to spam, so hopefully this makes up for it? shows my love? and how thankful i am?? like this made me happy, this gave me inspiration to get through my day JUST to read this, legitimately had “come on do this assignment THEN you can read” going through my head. it was just, really really nice to read, and i’m happy you posted it 💜 idk maybe this is making a mountain out of an ant hill in a good way, but it genuinely made me feel happier than i already am! i hope your pillow is always cold, you grades (if you’re in school) are always up, your food always the perfect temperature, your hands and feet never cold, your days always good, and the weather always nice, have an amazing day/night 💗

Hold on, hold on, hold on, lemme just 

Do people get mad when other people comment on every chapter of their fic? I have to say - in this instance at least - that I am not people.. uh... those people. (Wait, did I just out myself as not being human or something? What?) I could not imagine seeing multiple likes or comments on something I’ve written and getting mad, my attention-starved ass is like “Yes! Please tell me how much you love it! Shower me in compliments! Like everything! Reblog it so other people see it and do the same!” and then I bashfully teehee to myself like:

(Like when you’re little and your parents hang your art on the fridge or something and you’re all proud but also a little shy from the attention lol)

Honestly, I love when people leave comments as they’re reading, because seeing people react as the story unfolds is really funny. (Like when this was uploading and people were yelling because the slow burn was too slow... babies, I did not come here to fuck around. If I promise you a slow burn I will give you a slow burn lol.)

The only bad effect that results from any compliment at the moment is that I’m like, “Omg! I want to write more!” ...but I can’t until the semester ends 😭😭😭 So right now I’m like this:

So until I can finish my new fic, I’ll be in like... CRY-ostasis (like that? lol) in which I am frozen, but not in ice, in sadness because I can’t write.

But anyway, thank you for the compliments! I read it and was like “teeheehee” kicking my legs (in my mind) because of it lol. And like... you said it helped get you through the day, isn’t that what art is for? To make our lives better or at least more bearable? I’m glad you found so much solace in it. I started writing because I wanted to read stories that I couldn’t find (I know I made a post with my AO3 on here somewhere if you want to read my old fics. Be warned: there’s a lot of smut lol), and seeing people read them for the same reason I read things is cool. We’re all just people who want stories, you know? Anyway, I need to stop philosophizing, or we’ll be here all day. Here:

And here’s a meme I made just for you:

Thank you so much 😭😭😭🖤🖤🖤

[letsloveimagines]

Title: Crush

Pairing: Corpse Husband x fem!youtuber!reader

Collab with: @the-winter-sxldier-posts

Requested by: @unicornblood4ever

Request: Hi I just saw your request post for Corpse, so if you're still taking requests I have one. The reader have been on a losing streak, and Corpse tries to help. But accidentally rats himself out as the second imposter. With fluff if possible, of course only if you have time to write and everything.

Word Count: 3963

Warnings: a little angts and fluff, i guess?

Note: The images doesn’t belong to me, all the credits go to the respective creators. I only made the collage. Also, I will not make anything to make Corpse uncomfortable, if he ends saying he doesn’t like fanfiction about him, I will delete this.

Part II: Here

                                                            ♦⋅☆⋅♦ 

Y/N sat down at her gaming setup, she was getting ready to start a stream she had been invited by her friend Felix (aka Pewdiepie) to play among us with him, and some other friends. She made sure everything was in order before starting it. She had been doing this for so long, but each time it felt like the first, and there was always that little chill in her belly indicating she was nervous.

She got onto her twitter quickly, just to let people know she was live in case they didn't get the notification about it.  As people started coming in, Y/N smiled at the camera. “Hey guys, welcome to the stream.” She read one of the comments from chat asking what she was gonna be playing on stream today.  “Today we are streaming some “Among Us’ with some friends, and I am getting to who they are before you guys spam it in chat. I’m going to be playing with Corpse, Sykkuno, Rae, Felix, Seán, Lily, Toast, Poki and Leslie.” 

She joined the discord call, as the game loaded up. Y/N had her facecam in the middle on the bottom screen to make sure that she wouldn’t leak the code, once Felix sent it to the discord. Once the code was entered they were in the lobby and Y/N, went to the little mini computer in the game to customize her astronaut, and as always she was quick to pick the white colored one with the pink flower on her helmet. “Hey guys.” Y/N said to her friends in discord with a smile. Felix was the first to speak “Y/N finally you’re here!” She and everyone else laughed as he kept talking, excitedly. “We are still waiting for Corpse and Seán to join before we start, they’ll be here in a minute.” Everyone had said their hellos to Y/N as Seán joined the discord call and the game, followed shortly by Corpse. “Hey, Seán, Corpse.” “Hey, Y/N.” “Whaddup baby.” They both said at the same time making everyone laugh once more, as they all had their characters customized. Y/N’s face turned a few shades of red at what Corpse had said, and her chat was quick to pick up on it. “That is everyone, we are starting the game now.” She muted her mic after Felix had started the game and the black screen with the red astronaut, said shhhhh. Then her screen read ‘Crewmate, there are 2 imposters among us.’ 

She blew out a breath talking to the chat. “At least we can warm up as a crewmate this round.” 

But…

It didn't take much longer for her to get killed, which made her swear. She knew she couldn't trust Felix but she did anyway, and he literally stabbed her in the back… What a traitor. 

                                                             ♦⋅☆⋅♦

The time passed faster than it should have, or at least that’s what it seemed to the group of friends who were just having fun. 

Y/N had now been streaming for an hour, and she was on a major losing streak. She either got crewmate, or voted out first as imposter because she was a bad liar. Or when that didn't happen, she was one of the first ones to be killed, and had to spend the entire game floating from one side of the ship to the other as a little white ghost, completing tasks for her team to win. To be honest, she was already a little irritated about that. They were now in the lobby talking to each other while waiting to start the next game. Y/N's nostrils were flared with frustration after another round of failure at being an imposter. She sighed, unmuting her mic."I just wanted to say that in all of these rounds I must have played a full 8 seconds! Like come on, what's wrong with me today!?" 

That phrase was enough to make the others burst out laughing, including her chat. The comments came and went so fast, sliding on the screen on her right side, that she could barely keep up. 

Sykkuno, like the blessed and pure angel he was, replied amid laughter: "Don't worry, you're just on a bad streak. Better luck next time."

"Yeah, I guess." She answered while moving her mini white astronaut in circles, being quickly accompanied by the black astronaut with horns on his helmet. Y/N smiled at that.

"Stop talking guys, I'll start the new round now." Pewds, who was the host, almost screamed at them. 

Y/N cracked her neck and her fingers preparing herself.

"Stay with me this time Y/N, and I'll protect you." A deep voice was heard through her headphones, causing a shiver to go all the way down her spine. 

"Oh!" She exclaimed surprised, looking at her chat that was going insane with everyone saying how cute that was. "Thank you, Corpse, let's do that."

"No problem." She could hear the smile in his voice. 

The game was started and the black screen with the red astronaut, said shhhhh. Then her screen read IMPOSTER.

Y/N quickly muted her mic, as soon as she stopped listening to her friends speak. "Okay, I wasn't expecting that." She commented to her chat, very surprised, because next to her doll was Corpse's own little character. "Well, maybe my luck is changing. Everyone heard that Corpse and I were going to be together, so at least now we have an alibi if anyone suspects us." Corpse danced around Y/N, suggesting she follow him, and immediately she did. They both went through the ship as he was looking for innocent astronauts for them to murder. They ended up in medbay first, where Y/N faked her samples task, with Corpse watching over her and making sure that no one would find their behavior suspicious. 

And, oh, how her luck seemed to have increased when Felix walked in. Y/N immediately pulled up the sabotage map and locked the medbay doors, and Corpse was quick to kill him. That made the girl laugh hard, yelling out loud. "That was just karma having its way!" 

Then both vented out as the doors were still locked. 

Y/N smiled talking to the chat. “Pewds is dead, next if the opportunity arises we need to get Seán. They are the two that always sus me out even when I’m a crewmate.” She went back to the game as they vented into electrical, since nobody was there presently. They both faked tasks in electrical, Y/N going first with Corpse watching her back. To her surprise, Seán walked in all alone and right as she was going to get her first kill, when Felix’s body was reported. She rolled her eyes. “Damn, so close to getting them both.” She said to her fans as she unmuted the mic, and saw that Rae was the one that found Pewds. 

“Where is the body?” Y/N questioned trying to keep her voice level and calm, to not give herself away. “Pewds is dead in medbay.” Was the answer she got from the other girl. “Y/N and I were in Electrical with Seán.” Corpse said, trying to immediately shift suspicion off of the two of them. “They were already there when I entered the room, however. I don't know where they came from before, though." 

"We came in through storage, after Y/N and I both did the trash chute, Y/N stopped at the gas can and then we came to the electrical to do our tasks." 

Y/N quickly muted herself. "God, Corpse is gonna carry us this round, I can already feel it…I just want one kill and that is Seán, Corpse can kill everyone else... I just want to kill Seán!" She unmuted again as the friends decided that they didn't have enough information to vote anyone, so they skipped and no one was ejected. 

Corpse danced around again for Y/N to follow him and she did. This time they went through weapons. Y/N faked the task against the wall while Corpse faked one as well. Y/N brought up the sabotage map while they waited on the kill cool down to end. 

Y/N  sabotaged the lights, and the two imposters ran over there to turn them on as a way not to give anything that made them suspicious.

"Kill someone, don't wait for Corpse." Y/N read the comments, confused. "I don't know guys, are you sure? Today I haven't won any games as an imposter, so I don't want to give any reasons to make my team lose.” Looking back at the screen of the computer, she smiled seeing that the two little astronauts were touching each other, eye to eye, in what would probably be a strange little kiss. "Awww guys, look! Corpse just kissed me, this is too cute to handle."

But there was something that the fans did not fail to notice, and were quick to tell her that.

                                           User: She's blushing!

                                     User: This is so cute, I'm dying.

                             User: UGH, I ship them together so much!

"Oh, shut up y’all." She said with her face on fire, clearing her throat trying to make her voice normal again. However, the pink tone that painted her cheeks did not want to disappear, getting worse and worse as she thought about it. “Okay, as much as I don't like it, I'm going to do what you said. I’m sorry, Corpse." And then she quickly ran away, going to another path separated from Corpse, looking for someone alone that she could kill.

Hopefully it would be Seán.Y/n would be the first to agree that she was a little obsessed with getting her revenge. But could you blame her? Seán and Felix were almost always the reason she got voted out or killed first.

She went around the map, and on the navigation she found Lily alone. "Oh oh, poor Lily, but I need to do this." She was quick to press the button, kill and enter the vent, leaving Lily's body cut in half behind.

"Quickly, I need to find someone to be my alibi! Where's Corpse?" She came out of a different vent, running and seeing Rae nearby, quickly joining her. It didn't take long before someone reported the body. "Oh no, I'm sweating already."

“Lily’s body was in navigation.” Leslie said.

“And Toast is dead too, so it was a double kill this round.”

"Where have you been, Leslie?" Corpse asked with such a deep and calm voice that if Y/N were not the other imposter, she would think he was innocent. “I was with Sykkuno in security, looking at the cameras.”

“Yes, I was with him.” The mentioned boy said.

“Well, I was with Poki in medbay but I needed to do the asteroids in weapons. So, when I finished in weapons  I went down, and found the body." Leslie replied.

"That seems a little sus to me, to be honest."

"Yeah, seems pretty sus to me too." Y/N repeated after Corpse, trying to help.

"Okay, wait a minute." Rae began, suspiciously. "I was with Y/N for a while because we met in storage, but she came from the right side of the map, I saw it."

"Explain yourself, Y/N."

'Oh no. Busted.' Thought the girl nervously looking at the camera. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, and replied as calmly as she could: "Well, yes it's true, but I was in comms uploading. When I finished I left and that's when I found Rae in storage."

"It's her!" Seán accused.

"Definitely."

"What!?" Y/N asked shocked. "No, I'm not the imposter guys, I swear!"

"Y/N, stop, it makes perfect sense. I'm voting." She rolled her eyes, that is exactly why she wanted to kill Seán. 

It was then that Corpse interrupted: "It couldn't have been her, she was with me."

'What?' Y/N asked herself, 'No, I wasn’t. What is he doing?'

"But... You said you were with Sykkuno."

"I... Yeah, but before that I was with her in Comms, but I left to go to the Security."

"And what path did you take?" Rae questioned.

"I went through storage, then electrical and I went up."

"That’s impossible because I went down the left side, and went through electrical and I didn't see you."

"They’re both the imposters, oh my god." Was Seáns revelation. 

"No, we are not. What he said is true!" Y/N tried to defend. 

"I'm going to vote Corpse this time just for his audacity!" Rae exclaimed excitedly. "Then we vote for Y/N!"

"What!?" Corpse said shocked. "No...!"

But it was too late, and quickly his little bean body flew off the ship. ‘Corpse was ejected.’

The girl could do nothing more than gawk at the computer screen, still shocked by what had happened. "No!" She said when she muted the microphone. "The game is already lost. What can I do?" She questioned, guilty.

                                           User: Noooo! Poor Corpse.

                                          User: He was defending her :(

                              User: It's her fault that they found out he was the other imposter.

Guilt weighed on Y/N's heart and she felt saddened. Why did she have to ruin everything? "I know, I'll apologize to him when I can." She whispered to the chat, quietly, running around with her character confusedly. "What do I do now? Do I kill someone or do I play innocent?"

But at that time a meeting was called by Seán who was camped by the emergency button, and everyone got together to speak.

"Yes?"

"Well, we already know who the other imposter is. Are we going to vote her out or not?" He said laughing.

"Guys, please don't, it’s not me."

"Sorry Y/N, but you're the only one sus right now."

"What about Leslie?” Y/N tried. “She left Poki in medbay, she could have gone to navigation, killed Lily, self-reported and said she was in weapons!"

"No, don't believe her!" Leslie shouted. “She’s lying.”

"I know it's Y/N, I'm going to vote for her!"

And one by one everyone voted, and the game was over.

"Good job guys, we did it." The others celebrated while the girl almost pouted.

"What happened, Corpse? I’ve never seen you like that, well, playing so badly I mean." Sykkuno questioned his friend timidly.

There was silence from Corpse for a moment, before he simply said. "I don’t know.”

Swallowing hard, Y/N spoke softly. "Corpse?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Ehh, don't be. That's alright."

But that was not enough to erase her guilt. "You know Seán this is exactly why I was gonna kill you in the electrical, before Rae found Felix's body. You always sus me out even when I’m  innocent." 

“But you were the imposter this time!”

After a new game where she quickly died (Seán was the one who broke her neck and left her body in admin), the girl was quick to open Discord and send a message to the deep-voiced boy, who as much - as she didn't want to admit it, even more to herself - was her crush.

                                                           Y/N:     I’m so sorry I got you voted out, honestly, I feel so bad about it. I’m such a bad imposter.

                                                       CORPSE:             Y/N, It’s fine, really. There’s no need for you to feel bad about it ♥.

This put a smile on the girl's face again, and her chat was quick to question what was going on. She shrugged her shoulders and gave no further answer, Y/N returned to concentrating on the game, with the corner of her lips lifted in a half smile that she couldn’t control.

                                                           ♦⋅☆⋅♦

Time quickly passed full of fun for the ten friends, and the thousands of people who watched them. Y/N didn't win any of the rounds, but she didn't care about it anymore. After another hour  of playing she decided to say goodbye and finish the stream, feeling the tiredness dominating her. She ate something and took a long and relaxing bath, which eased her aching muscles, and was already in her fluffy blue pajama pants, and was getting ready to go to bed when her phone rang.

Picking it up from the nightstand, she looked at the screen and gasped in surprise seeing who was facetiming her. A shiver ran down her spine. Shaking from head to toe, with her heart pounding, she quickly ran her hand through her hair making sure she was at least minimally presentable, before she answered it, saying nervously, "Hey, Corpse, is everything okay?"

The screen came to life, with her tiny image in the corner and the completely black screen dominating it. Of course he wouldn't turn on the camera, nor did she want him to do it if he didn't feel comfortable. It was already surprising that he actually called, since he has never done that before, and that was what made her even more nervous.

"I just wanted to check on you."  His voice came through the phone. 

That made her face heat up a little. She was thankful that the only light she had on was the lamp on her nightstand and he couldn’t see how red her face got. 

"Cute pajamas by the way." He said while laughing a little bit, provoking her.  

"Well, I would say the same thing, but I can't see anything."  Y/N provoked back.

There was a comfortable silence after that, a silence that the two of them seemed afraid to try to break. The girl laid down on her bed, curled up under her warm sheets, and looked at the black screen kindly, with her head resting on the pillow.

"So-"

"I-" They both said at the same time, and immediately stopped talking when they realized that. “Go ahead-” “You first-”  they once again said at the exact same time. 

Y/N tried to speak. She really tried. She was so prepared to tell him the truth, to tell him how much she was into him, that she was in fact in love with him… She was prepared to say that meeting him, and having him in her life for the past few months was one of the best things that ever happened to her. Y/N was determined to speak, but when she tried, nothing came out.  She stood there, opening and closing her mouth, sighing with a frown on her face. 

"What's up?" Corpse asked seeing that, with concern in his voice.

"Nothing."

"Y/N, you know you can tell me anything."

"I know that." And she really did, Corpse was a good friend, an excellent friend who was always there for her... And that was exactly what she was afraid to ruin with her confession. "You are able to make me so nervous sometimes, even when I think I'm feeling brave."

"Oh, yeah?" He asked, and she could practically see his smile, even though she has never actually seen it. She was in love with a faceless man and she had no idea how to tell him that. 

"Oh, shut up."

He laughed deeply for a long time, and that was enough to make her smile. Finally he stopped and said quietly, almost timidly. "I think what you wanted to say is exactly what I want to tell you."

Impossible, Y/N thought with a sad smile on her lips. I want to tell you how much I love you but… how could I? And who could ever love me?

"No, believe me, it isn't." “And how do you know it isn’t?” Y/N bit her lip a little unsure of how to answer him without revealing her feelings for him. “I-” But she cuts herself off, not having the courage to actually say the words. She pressed her face into the pillow to muffle the groan that came out of her mouth, at how much a coward she was being, but she mumbled out her response that was still muffled. “I just know.”

“What was that?” All he had heard were incoherent sounds.. She sighed, removing her face from the pillow not wanting to repeat what she had said, to save herself the rejection, since he couldn’t possibly feel the same way that she did about him.

“Are you really not going to tell me?” His voice broke through her thoughts. She sighed, trying to get away from the internal battle going on in her mind. “Y/N?” He spoke once again, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

“If I say it... everything is gonna be ruined and weird for us, and I don’t want that. Your friendship is so important to me, you're my best friend.” She ran a hand down her face, furious with herself. “How do you know that, if you don’t say it?” 

“Because I just do, okay?” Why couldn't he just let it go? "I-" She tried to say it out loud, once more. C'mon Y/N, just say it. "I gotta go!" She said quickly tried to end the call, but he wouldn't let her.

"No!" He screamed out sharply, taking her by surprise and then he did something she never thought he would do.

The screen, which was previously completely dark, lit up and his face finally appeared for the girl who loved him to see. Y/N sighed in shock, admiring all his features, from his ivory-white skin to his dark curly hair.

"I have a crush on you too." He confessed quietly, with a soft pink tinge appearing on his cheeks.

Did he just...? Oh my god!  

There was silence again, but this time it was a silence that had become tense and terrifying for both of them. Corpse was nervous waiting for her to say something, and she could tell. His mouth was pressed in a thin line, he didn't seem able to face her as his gaze traveled anywhere but to her, and he fidgeted immensely, touching everything within reach from the rings - that she saw he had on his fingers - to the chain necklace he had around his neck.

"Oh." She sighed softly, not knowing what to say.

He looked at her then, apprehensive and almost ashamed. "Ugly, I know."

"No!" Y/N was quick to interrupt. "You are incredibly handsome just… just as I always imagined." The girl managed to see a small smile appear on his lips as he blushed deeply.

"I..." 

"I’m in love with you too." She confessed, finally without fear. It felt like weight lifted off her to finally get it out in the open between the two of them.

Corpse’s eyes went wide, completely shocked but so, so happy. A huge smile full of shiny teeth on his face, as he focused all of his attention on Y/N. "You are?"

"Yes." She said blushing and smiling intensely as she snuggled up in the blankets, her face almost hidden when she looked at him dreamily.

"I-" He cleared his throat. "Good."

"Good."

"Great."

"Great!"

They burst out laughing, their voices mixing in hamornia. The two looked each other in the eye, separated by a mobile phone screen, separated by kilometers and kilometers... but even with everything that separated them, the world was not able to stop them from falling in love with each other.

"What do we do now?" He questioned.

"Well..." Y/N started. "We'll have to see, won't we? Why don't you start by giving me your address?"

Corpse smiled provocatively, his beautiful eyes shining maliciously. "Of course... But be careful now baby, the devil’s got his eyes on you."

Y/N laughed completely in love.

"Oh, shut up."

                                                            ♦⋅☆⋅♦ Tag List: @breathygasps