#but like. she is walking right into a trap and worse there is nothing she could have ever done not to walk into it

[ohmerricat]

oh nononono

[steddiealltheway]

Steve can see it in Max. That same loneliness and ache that he finds in himself. For him, it’s result of his parents leaving with no intent to return to him unless absolutely necessary.

He knows he was an accident. Or rather a mistake as his father used to call him when he was particularly angry. But it made sense to him. Steve's the reason his father had to marry his mother. He left him "trapped." And maybe no one says it out loud, but he can tell his mother feels the same way too.

But they must keep up appearances, right?

Which is what Max has been trying to do since Billy died, El moved away, and it's been just her and her mom. But she's been going about it through a different route - pushing people away all while pretending things are fine. But Steve sees the way she picks up the broken pieces of her mom and tries to put them back together - Steve's had to do the same thing before.

So, he starts sticking around a little longer. Offering her more rides to the arcade and around town to pick up groceries when she needs to. Sometimes he'll tell her about a new recipe he's been trying for a casserole and pick up the ingredients, pretending like the milk and butter he bought will spoil by the time he drives home from her trailer.

Of course, they both know it's a lie, but Max humors him and plays along. She'll let him cook dinner while she picks up the bottles her mom left on the floor, dumps out the overflowing ashtray, and feeds the dog. Usually, Steve will ask her what she's learning in school and linger a little longer than usual in hopes that she'll say more than the usual, "I don't know. A bunch of boring stuff."

But lingering has gotten a lot of things out of Max such as her love for Kate Bush, a story about El and how much she misses her, and short quips about Lucas before she gets a sad smile on her face. Steve doesn't really know what to say most of the time, but he hopes that just being there will help.

Unfortunately, lingering and just being there has led him to his current predicament of none other than Eddie "The Freak" Munson sitting on the hood of his car glaring at him as he walks out of Max's place. Steve jumps a little, startled by the figure on his car and becoming more hostile as he sees the expression on his face. He shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his pace. "Is there a problem?"

Eddie snorts humorlessly. "Christ. You're really going to pretend like there's nothing wrong with what's happening?"

Steve's brows furrow, entirely missing whatever point he's trying to make.

Eddie stands up and stalks toward him. "I see you, you know. Always lurking around when her mom isn't home. Coming out of her trailer late at night."

Steve laughs, finally understanding the absurd conclusion he's come to. "Jesus, man. You're delusional."

Steve doesn't expect it, but Eddie sharply shoves his chest and grits, "I don't fucking lie to me, Harrington."

Steve holds his hands up. "I'm not," he firmly states. "Nothing like that is happening here. I'm glad you're looking out for her, but it isn't like that."

"Do you expect me to believe that? Maybe this is why you're always hanging around Henderson and the other kids."

Steve crosses his arms and his jaw tenses. "I'm not a fucking pervert or a pedophile if that's what you're trying to say. I'm just looking after them."

"Why?" Eddie asks, dramatically opening his arms, "Why would King Steve adopt a group of misfits to take under his wing? See, the math isn't adding up."

Usually, Steve would just brush it off and tell the person to fuck off and mind their own business. But his parents have just left town again without leaving a note and Max had snapped when Steve tried to help her clean the place because it looked worse than usual, and he was just generally feeling like shit and angry at his parents and Max's parents for not being there. So he broke, "Because I don't want Max to end up like me! I don't want any of those kids to grow up without a role model. And god forbid if any of those other kids' parents fuck up, and they’re left with only me. I need them to know that I'm there for them! Because sometimes it feels like whenever the world goes to shit, I'm the only one who is there, and I plan to stay there, okay?!"

He finishes his rant breathing a little heavier than usual and noticing that a few of the lights in the trailers have turned on around them. He looks around and awkwardly nods to the people glaring out their windows. God, he needs to get a grip.

When he turns back to Eddie, he notices the conflicted expression, jaw dropped, eyebrows knitted together, eyes searching him as if he's still wondering if he's lying.

A door creaks open behind them and Steve curses under his breath as he hears Max say, "Eddie, leave him alone. Do you really think I would hook up with my damn babysitter? Jeez."

"Language," Steve quietly lectures as the door swings shut. He runs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath. It's been a long fucking day.

A hand lands on his arm and tugs him away from Max's trailer. Steve glances up at Eddie, leading him across the way. "Where are we going?"

"My place," Eddie says.

"Why?"

"So we can talk."

God, the last thing he wants to do is talk to Eddie of all people, the guy he's been actively avoiding since Dustin started worshipping the ground - or rather tables - he walks on. But he lets himself be pulled away in the trailer and practically deposited on the couch in the living room.

He glances up and comments, "That's a lot of mugs."

"My uncle's, but that's not what I wanted to... Christ," Eddie says, pacing in front of Steve and tugging his hair in front of his face. The anxious display makes Steve feel even more tired, but he lets him pace. God, what is he even doing here?

"I'm sorry," Eddie blurts out. "I'm just..." he trails off and rushes over to grab a stool a few feet away before dragging it in front of the couch. He sits on it but his leg still holds that nervous energy as it rapidly bounces up and down. "I jumped to conclusions, and it was really shitty of me, man. I just... didn't believe what Henderson was saying about you and thought 'Oh, this makes way more sense than Steve Harrington being a good dude.' And I'm sorry to accuse you of that. And I... I didn't know about your... parents and stuff. Like I knew they were away a lot because of your parties but... I just never connected the dots. And I'm sorry. No one deserves that shit, man."

Steve doesn't know what to do this whole interaction, especially with it coming from Eddie Munson who he doesn't think he's ever talked to before this moment, but... he needs to hear it. God, he needs to hear it.

Of course, he can't let him know this, so he does what he's best at and brushes it off. "It's fine. You were just looking out for the kids. And really just ignore what I said back there, it isn't that big of a deal."

Eddie worries his bottom lip before he blurts out, "I know what it's like." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I mean, I know what it's like to have... absent parents. But in my case, eventually, my uncle Wayne took me in, and I can only imagine if he didn't." He gives him a pointed look and lowers his voice, "Do you have someone like that?"

A big part of Steve wants to leave right now, and he knows there's nothing stopping him. But a bigger part of him needs to stay. Needs to talk about the emptiness in his house that he can never truly escape at the end of the day that he can’t talk to anyone about. Because he's not supposed to be weak. He's supposed to take care of the others. So he admits, "No, I don't have... anyone like that. Except Robin but..."

"That's different," Eddie finishes the thought for him.

Steve nods. He loves Robin, but he loves her as a platonic soulmate and not as a parent figure in his life. "You know, I once had this basketball coach in middle school - Mr. Weston. And I remember looking up to him so much. I wanted to be just like him, and I would go to his office during lunch and ask him for advice or talk about dumb shit that my father would never talk about. But he never shamed me for my questions. And sometimes he even packed an extra dessert for me." Steve smiles at the memories and runs a hand through his hair, remembering the day he got the news. "But one time, when I went to his office, he had this look on his face. And I just knew it was bad news. And really, it wasn't bad news to him because his wife was pregnant. But she wanted to move a few states away to raise the kid closer to her family. And it wasn't his fault, you know? It wasn't like he purposely chose to move away from me, but I felt like I was abandoned again."

Steve wipes a tear from his eye and puts his head in his hands. "God, I don't know why I'm even telling you this story. Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Eddie says quickly. He pauses and shifts on the stool, his gaze being far away. "I remember him. He was one of the only gym teachers that defended me against all the shitty middle school bullies. He was a good person.”

Steve nods. God, he was a good person.

Eddie continues, “I'm sorry that he left. And I bet he still regrets leaving you behind."

Steve leans back against the couch and looks away, shaking his head. "I bet he forgot about me."

"You're kind of hard to forget."

Steve looks at Eddie and sees a slight blush on his cheeks as he shakes his head and waves his hands as if trying to make the comment go away. "What I mean is that there's no way he's forgotten about you. Someone who you used to have lunch with all the time to the point of giving you free food... Nah, man. He remembers you. I think you may have been as important to him as he was to you."

The thought breaks away at a wall Steve had built up long ago. "Thanks," he practically whispers.

Eddie just smiles at him, small dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"You didn't deserve it either, you know," Steve says. "The absent parent stuff. Even with Wayne, they should've been here too."

Eddie's smile falters a bit as he swallows and looks at the ground. "Thanks," he mumbles. He looks up at Steve and comments, "Getting sappy with Steve Harrington. Who knew."

"Yeah, getting sappy with Eddie Munson," Steve echoes back at him.

Eddie laughs, "I'm surprised you even know my name."

"You're kind of hard to forget," Steve says easily.

That same blush comes back to Eddie who shifts in his chair a bit as if he needs to process the information with his whole body.

They sit in the moment for a bit before Eddie gets a somewhat serious look on his face and offers, "You know, I'm definitely not a parent figure or anything, but I'm always here and around to talk about that whole thing if you need to."

Steve's heart beats a little faster at the sheer genuineness. "Same here," he can't help but offer in return. He glances down at his watch and sighs, "It's getting late, so I better..."

"Right," Eddie says, standing up and leading him to the door. "Do you need water for the road or anything?"

Steve smiles and pats him on the back without thinking too hard about it. "I'm good, man. But thank you. For everything really."

"Sorry for being an asshole," Eddie apologizes again.

"Usually that's my line," Steve accidentally voices before cringing a bit, wondering further why Eddie's been so kind to him.

But as he opens the door, Eddie comments, "I don't know. It seems like Dustin was right about the whole reformed jock thing. Maybe your crown really has fallen - which is a good thing by the way."

Steve slightly smiles at him before he turns to leave. But he can't help but say, "I wonder what the neighbors will think about me leaving your trailer so late."

Eddie groans then laughs. "Sorry to ruin your image."

"I wouldn't mind," Steve replies, honestly unsure what he means by that. "Goodnight, Eddie."

"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, that same blush on his cheeks, only this time Steve isn't sure if it's something he said or a result of the cold night air.

In bed that night, Steve feels a slight weight lifted from him and can't help but feel like he’s a little less alone.

[authorhjk1]

I’ll try my luck in requesting.. Plot is, reader asks SNSD Yoona who is his gf to dominate him femdom style.. I’d want to see kinks like pegging and well.. To be honest body worship especially armpits.. Thanks for reading and if you choose to decline it, all good.. But I really wish to a great writer’s take on this humble request of mine..

Submitting to her

(Lim Yoona X Male Reader)

This is how everyone sees her. Lim Yoona. One of the younger members and the center of Girl's Generation. Most of the time a cute, playful sunshine. But when it comes down to it, she can also be fierce and borderline sexy.

But no one will ever be able to see her, how you see her. That is something no one will ever know.

You met Yoona about a year ago for the first time. You couldn't believe she actually walked into the bar you were working at. It was a very expensive and prestigious one, yes, but you didn't really think of Yoona as big bar goer.

And you were quickly proven right. She was only there, because of one of the two friends she was with, was celebrating her engagement.

The three women were sitting at your bar the whole night, chatting away and drinking more and more of your most expensive liquor. While you were serving them and the other guests as well, the newly engaged woman seemed to have drunk too much. First, she kept on showing off her ring to Yonna and the third woman, but as the night grew longer, she also started to flirt with you.

You thought nothing of it at first, blaming it on the alcohol, but she got more and more into it. You could tell that Yonna was getting a little uncomfortable at her friend's behavior, but she didn't say a word.

"Would you mind mixing me another cocktail, babe?"

Yes, you did mind. And no you didn't like the fact she called you increasingly worse pet names. Blaming the alcohol would have been only a sorry excuse at this point. You could already tell that her future husband would probably catch her cheating at one point. It was so clear it could've been written on her forehead.

Eventually, her and Yoona's other friend went to the bathroom. The rude woman definitely drank too much. And while you were wiping parts of the black granite surface of the counter, you were hoping she wouldn't completely ruin the ladies' room.

You heard Yoona groan, after she took the last sip of her cocktail.

"Would you like a refill, Miss?"

To your surprise, Yoona suddenly glared at you.

"Oh, please, lover boy. Don't pretend like you would say no, if she asked you to spend the night with her."

You felt that was a little out of the blue. But the alcohol and her being annoyed by her friend, probably made her search for some kind of release.

"I would say no."

You would never sleep with another man's girlfriend, wife or whatever.

"Really? Why wouldn't you, huh?"

You suddenly felt trapped. Was that a trick question? Did she want you to mess up, so she could let out all her pend up frustration on you?

"Never mind, I'm sorry."

Yoona cut you off, before you could answer.

"It's just... I'm always too busy, you know? Barely free time, no time for dating, or a boyfriend and especially no time for a husband."

"Another cocktail it is, then."

Yoona chuckled as you started to mix the same cocktail she had before.

"You're really good at that, you know?"

"I hope so, I've been doing this for years."

As you added your finishing touches, Yoona let out another sigh.

"You are still young, so take some advice from me. Make sure you find the right person to be with. Don't wait as long as I have."

"I'm sure there are a lot of good men out there, who would like to go on a date with you, despite your busy schedule."

Since the granite surface was a little bigger, you let her new glass slide over the stone. It came to a hold just in front of her. You leaned over the counter and reached behind her ear.

Yoona slightly backed away, but you pulled back already, holding a small cocktail umbrella in your hand.

"Myself included, of course."

You blew on the umbrella, opening it up, before you let it fall into the drink.

You usually weren't that straight forward with guests. But this wasn't a usual guest. This was Yoona.

"That was smooth."

She playfully wiggled her eyebrows as she acknowledged your skill.

"Like I said, years of work and experience. Once I start something, I only finish once I perfected it."

"I like the sound of that."

Her smile was warm, but at the same time a little seductive. Her eyes sparkling with amusement, but also looking at you as if she was searching for something.

You later asked about that moment.

"I liked you. You looked handsome. And I wanted something she couldn't have."

That was her answer. Almost the perfect way to describe the start of your relationship.

"Although I don't have a man, I do have needs. I don't have enough time to date, but I can definitely make just enough time to take care of those needs."

You were surprised at how hopen she suddenly talked about herself. You were still in a public place.

"I could use someone like you. Dedicated to a task. Not stopping until he is satisfied. I would repay you of course. How much money do you make?"

While you were standing there, totally bamboozled by her sudden offer, you realize you could've seen that coming. Yoona is lonely, doesn't have time for a proper relationship and has more than enough money to find herself a sugar baby.

And for some reason, you did like the sound of that. Her terms were clear. Wherever and whenever she wanted, you would do your best to worship her entire body, make her feel good. But for that, you would have to quit your job.

"Don't worry. I will pay for everything you need."

While you were still debating on saying yes or no, her friends came back. They were eventually done drinking and were about to go home.

Yoona gave you one last look.

Decide right now, or you will regret it for the rest of your life.

You quickly wrote your number on a napkin and gave it to her.

The dynamic in your relationship was clear from the get go. Yoona was literally your sugar mommy and paid for everything, while you were tasked with pleasuring her better than anyone had ever before. Outside of the bedroom, she was the dominant one, but when it was about sex, you were the one who took care of her.

After staying at her place a couple of times, you, unconsciously, slowly started to move in with her. It started with a toothbrush and it ended with your computer and desk in her guest room. Not that Yonna minded at all. The living together and sleeping together, made it impossible to not start developing feelings. And finally, after ten months of sex with no strings attached, you both agreed on your new status of your relationship.

"10 Minute break in twenty minutes. Need you."

A simple text from your now girlfriend and you are on your way.

You enter the SM building slowly after, making your way to one of the smaller rooms on the third floor. As soon as you walk in, Yoona crashes into you. You haven't seen her since this morning. She looks just as good as she did then.

As soon as you saw her outfit this morning, you knew this is gonna be one of those days. She doesn't have them often. But on those days, she sometimes shows you a side of her no one can know about.

Most of the time, the power during sex is equally distributed. Sometimes it's Yoona, who leads, sometimes it's you. But most of the time, the two of you are equals. Yoona isn't the kind of woman who loves to get fucked like a cheap whore. She does enjoy you, being a little rougher with her at times, but never something too crazy.

And on rare occasions, just like today, you can see a fire burn inside of her. A fire that makes her lust and arousal grow immensely. Until now, she always had herself under control. But you do know, that if her self control breaks, you will be the one who will have to bear the consequences.

"Oh, fuck. I need your tongue so bad."

She whispers into your ear, after just having kissed the life out of you.

You lean down and push her hair behind her shoulders, before you start to kiss her naked skin. Yoona loves how you take care of her. How you worship her. To say that she has a praise kink is an understatement. More like goddess kink.

"You taste perfect, mommy."

Yoona purrs, at your words, letting out a satisfied sigh. Yeah, one of those days. You know you are doomed tonight, if you can't satisfy her well enough right now.

And at the same time, you don't mind at all. You actually welcome the idea of Yoona punishing you for doing a bad job. You want to find out what happens, when that fire inside her does take over her being. You are just not sure yet, if you can handle it.

Once you have dutifully peppered her shoulders with endless kisses, you pick her up and carry her towards the window.

"Oh, yes. I'm craving that. Oh, baby I'm so thirsty for your touch."

Yoona always turns into a mess, whenever you start to worship her like this. She loves it. And you do too.

After putting her down on the windowsill, you quickly start to take off her belt. This is just the right height for what you have in mind. Once her suit pants are around her ankles, you reach into her panties. The black lace traps your hand, forcing you towards her pussy.

"That's it, baby. Be a good boy."

Yoona moans in delight as she feels you pushing a finger inside of her. You lick your lips as you see her closing her eyes, ready to bring the second half of your plan to life.

While your left is slowly fingering her wet pussy, your right hand is now reaching for her wrists. Already knowing what you have in mind, Yoona gladly raises her arms. Standing next to her, you are greeted with the magnificent sight of her left armpit.

The slight sweat on her skin sparkles in the sunlight from outside. You unconsciously take a deep breath, enjoying Yoona's scent. After you spend hours after hours worshiping her entire body, you know how she tastes everywhere and how she smells too. Usually sweet, with a hint of sweat, because it's a hot day.

After taking another breath and pushing a second finger inside of her, you stick out your tongue and place it right underneath her armpit. Yoona lets out a deep moan. This combination has always made her cum pretty quick. And you have limited time right now.

The slight salty taste hits your taste buds as you use one long lick to move your tongue across her armpit.

"That's it, baby. Lick your mommy clean."

Yoona moans out loud as she feels your tongue now delivering longs swipes across her armpit. Your fingers in her pussy aren't idle and soon, Yoona succumbs to the pleasure you force onto her.

It takes you a minute or two to complete lick her armpit free of her sweat and just a little longer to reward yourself. The more you can have of her, the better. Yoona's sweat is now replaced by a small amount of your spit.

You change position as you keep your fingers inside her, your thumb now rubbing her clit.

"Hurry, baby. If you don't make me cum..."

Her whispered threat is interrupted by your tongue, finally reaching her armpit on the other side. The saltiness seems to be a little bit more prominent on this side. You gladly lick it all up, while Yoona starts to buck her hips against your hand.

"Damn it!"

She sighs heavier as her breathing becomes faster.

"Make me cum already."

Her heightened arousal makes her a little more aggressive today.

You keep on licking her skin and fingering her pussy. You know that she is slowly getting there. Maybe a couple of licks more. Or maybe a third finger...

"Yoona?"

You stop immediately as you hear someone outside the room. Yoona holds her shakey breath.

"Y-Yeah?"

"We have to get going now."

"Give me a minute, manager-nim!"

Yoona quickly urges you to pull your fingers out of her. As if you wouldn't have thought of that yourself.

"This isn't over."

She looks up at you with that fire in her eyes, once she is done making herself look presentable.

"As soon as I'm home..."

She let's that threat linger in the air as she walks out of the room. Yes, this is one of those days. But today seems more intense than usual. You wonder, if you asked for it, would Yoona let that raging fire consume her? Would she let go off her primal instinct and use your body for her pleasure, without thinking about you?

A shiver of anticipation runs down your spine. What do you have to do to make that happen?

You know that Yoona will be busy for the rest of the day. You're sure she mentioned something about a magazine cover photoshoot, but you can't remember. Her schedule is stuffed with way too much events and appointments for you to know all of them.

And that's why she catches you by surprise, when she suddenly crashes through the door to her apartment.

"I have ten minutes."

It looks like she is on a break again. And it seems she came straight from the photoshoot. She is still wearing that outfit.

And you can tell by the fact, that she only came here for sex, that she is close to breaking.

You try to get off the couch you are lying on, but Yoona is quicker. The advantage of her skirt is, that she can just sit down on your face, without having to undress.

Barely ten seconds after she came home and your tongue is already buried inside her wet pussy. Yoona quickly holds onto your hair with both hands. Too impatient for you to find the proper rhythm, she just starts to ride your face. You have no choice but to lie there, enjoying the taste of Yoona's sweet pussy.

A minute passes. Then two. Then three. You do your best, trying to get her off as quick as possible. But that small voice at the back of your head starts to talk. What if...

Yoona breathes heavily and leans forward, trying to catch her breath, as she realizes that this isn't enough. Not enough for her to orgasm. Not enough for her to satisfy her hunger.

She quickly gets off your face, leaving you with trails of her juices all over it. Before you can react, your pants are already off. And a second later, Yoona has already straddled you, her pussy hovering above your cock.

"Oh, damn. That cock."

She sighs, her eyes closing in bliss as she impales herself on your cock. Without even thinking about it, one of her hands move towards your throat. She keeps riding you, her pleasure now increasing by the second. After almost getting caught earlier today, she really needs to find that high right now.

"M-Mommy."

She hears you coughing after calling her. Her eyes shoot open and she realizes that she has been choking you. Yoona quickly moves her hand away, an apologetic look in her eyes. She has never done that before. She never let herself go that far.

"Babe..."

She wants to say sorry, wants to apologize. And yet, a small part of her mind tells her to put her hand back on your throat. To make you cough, while she rides you like a dildo, not giving a damn about your well-being.

It scares Yoona for a moment. Those thoughts. But she can also see that you seem to know, what's going on inside of her.

Her eyes grow wide as you slowly start to nod your head.

No need for words. Yoona takes a deep breath, before she puts her hands back on your throat. For the first time, she starts to let go of herself.

You lie on the couch with wide open eyes. Yoona left barely a minute ago. It's hard for you to get up. You didn't expect her to go that hard. She rode you like her life depended on it. You were barely able to take it yourself, her pace and power were almost too much for you. Reaching for your throat, you grimace in pain. It's not that bad, but you don't need a mirror to know that that's gonna leave bruises.

You are glad you were able to cum, just in time, before Yoona came herself. You wonder if she would've cared about your orgasm at that point. Maybe not. But that thought alone almost makes you reach for your cock, which is still wet with her juices.

The rest of your day goes by without anything major happening. You are excited about what is gonna happen tonight. Despite having climaxed earlier, Yoona still didn't look very satisfied.

Trying to make time go by faster, you sit down in front of your computer, planing on gaming a little, until she comes home.

"Turn it off."

You almost have a heart attack, when you suddenly hear Yoona's voice. You didn't hear her come home.

"H-Hi, babe."

Her tone made it clear, that this day is still not over. The only question is, how rough Yoona is going to be with you.

Once you turn off the computer and look at her properly, you know what kind of sex she has in mind. She is now wearing a different outfit. Probably another one from her photoshoot.

"You look gorgeous."

You can tell she is holding in a smile as she leans down, to be at your eye level.

"I've had a long day..."

You get the hint as you stand up, just to walk her over towards the bed. Knowing you have the rest of the night, you start slowly. First, her hands. You kiss each of her knuckles and the back of her hands. She sighs, as Yoona lies on the bed, enjoying your work.

You soon move upwards, switching from one arm to the other, while you pepper her skin with kisses. It's smoothness takes your breath away every time. How can she be this beautiful?

Reaching her shoulders, you take a short trip to her collarbone, licking along it's length, before returning to her shoulders. Yoona lets out a satisfied hum. But you know that, at least today, this won't satisfy her enough. You move her arms away from her body a little, giving you access to her pits.

"Baby. I need to fuck you."

Yoona sighs, her first words since she told you to take care of her.

You know what she means by that. The fire in her eyes still there. As you dive in, licking her right armpit, you know that she is thinking about something far different from just riding you, like she did earlier today.

Yoona's fire urges her on to take control. To take you. To make you hers. And there's only one way you will truly be hers.

Yoona shifts around a little, while you keep worshipping her body. Once you're finished with licking her armpit clean, you kiss along her collarbone towards the other one, before diving in again.

Her hand finds itself in your hair as she lets out a heavier sigh.

"I need to-to take you. Now."

You realize that Yoona is approaching her breaking point. Should you push further? Ignore her real needs for just a couple of moments longer?

You eventually decide to be forward.

"You can do what you want with me, mommy."

You kiss her armpit one last time, before looking up at her face.

"Please. Be as rough as you want."

This is the only way for her to be happy today. To be satisfied. And you are more than willing to help.

"A-Are you sure?"

You nod your head yes.

"Do with me what you want."

You can see that dangerous fire flicker in her eyes. Yoona's inner voices are fighting each other. Eventually, she pushes you off of her, before she jumps off the bed. You watch her walk towards the big closet. Once she opens it, you can see what's lying on the middle shelf.

Four dildos, lined up and sorted by length. A belt, to make a strap on out of one of them, on their right. You gulp, knowing that there is no turning back now.

It's not like this your first time. Usually, at least one of you is in the mood for it. And you are the one, who decides which one gets used, before you start.

But you are very aware that Yoona is already using the one on the right. She put it on the belt already and is now tying it around her waist. The biggest one.

Her black outfit seems to fit the blue plastic perfectly. You don't choose that one very often. But now you know Yoona's true thoughts. The others aren't big enough for her taste.

"Strip."

She says, before even having turned around.

You hesitate for a moment. It's not that you don't trust her. It's the fact that you don't trust that fire within her. How far will she go...

Yoona's movement quickly makes you jump into action. As she turns around, you're just getting rid off your pants. She steps towards the edge of the bed as you take your shirt off.

Without a word, Yoona stares at you, lust burning in her eyes. She does a come hither motion with a finger, making you crawl towards her.

"Suck my cock, baby. If you don't want to get hurt..."

Yoona only used lube at the beginning. But after having tried this a couple of times, she started to make you suck the dildo first, before pegging you. Your own spit being the lubricant. That should've been a sign that something like this would come sooner rather than later. A sign you should've read.

You look up at Yoona as you open your mouth. Her fiery gaze stares back at you. You can't tell how rough she is going to be exactly. Should you be using a safe word?

But as Yoona pushes her hips forward, the blue dildo pushing past your lips, you realize that the time for setting a safe word has long past. You feel the plastic in your mouth, the unforgiving material dragging along your tongue. Yoona places her hand on the back of your head, holding you in place as she forces you to take it all at once. The tip slightly grazes the back of your throat, once your lips reach the base.

"Look up."

You do as your told. Yoona stares down at you, her face cold, while her eyes are burning. You catch her biting her lip slightly, before she moves her hips back. A moment later, she pushes them forward again. She starts to pick up the pace soon after, letting her other hand wander towards the back of your head as well.

Yoona is now fucking your face. Not as hard and fast as you occasionally do with her, but enough for you to cough once in a while. Due to her constant thrusts, the blue plastic is eventually covered in your saliva. Some of the liquid is already staining your lips and chin.

"What a good boy you are, sucking mommy's cock."

Up until now, you had both of your hands placed on the mattress, supporting your weight. Now, knowing how horny Yoona is, you reach forward with one hand. Since she is wearing a one piece, it was hard for you worship her whole body just now. So you try to make up for it by placing your hand between her thighs.

"That's right, baby. Mommy comes first."

Yoona slows down a little to make it easier for you to rub her pussy through the black fabric. Whenever you send really big jolts of pleasure through her body, Yoona thrusts forward uncontrollably. And soon, she is fucking your mouth again, while you try to pleasure her.

"Press harder."

You follow her orders, applying more pressure on her pussy.

"Fuck, yes!"

Yoona hisses loudly at the sudden increase of pleasure. Her hips move as fast as your hand, the two of you in a silent competition on who can go the fastest. It doesn't take long for Yoona to win as she forced herself inside of you exceptionally deep, making you gag and lose control of her your hand.

"Turn around."

She tells you, while you still recover from her sudden attack.

Once you do, you feel Yoona climb on the bed as well, kneeling behind you.

"If you are going to be a good boy and take it well"

Yoona leans over you slightly, the wet plastic pressing against your ass cheeks. It sends a shiver down your spine as you know very well what's next.

"I will reward you by letting you lick and kiss every single part of me."

It's an offer you can't refuse. For one, because you would do anything to get that opportunity. And two, because you are literally unable to refuse. Even if you would try, Yoona would just laugh at you.

You feel the dildo poke your butt hole as Yoona readies herself. She lets her hands wander over your cheeks, before she reaches underneath you. A moment later, her hand holds your cock, slowly stroking it.

"Don't cum too early, baby. Last time, you made a mess of yourself while cuming."

One would think that Yoona is just being considerate. But her tone says otherwise. It drips with her lust and you can tell that that's exactly what she wants. For you to lose control over your body as you cum.

Finally, Yoona slowly pushes forward. You breath a little heavier as you try to adjust to the new feeling.

"Relax, or this is gonna hurt."

Usually, Yoona would stop if you had trouble taking it and speak some encouraging words.

Not this time. Instead of waiting, she pushes the plastic tip past the ring of your muscles. You hold onto the sheets as Yoona slowly pulls you towards her, while she moves forward.

More and more of her length you take. Inch by inch, the blue dildo stretches your ass.

"Oh fuck, baby. Your ass looks so tight."

One of her hands squeezes your cheeks, while the other keeps stroking your cock. You grit your teeth as Yoona pushes further. Having taken this dildo a couple of times already, you can tell that you're halfway there. You feel every new inch drag past your muscles.

You feel fuller than before as Yoona keeps going. She doesn't stop, until you've finally taken it all.

"Good boy, taking all of mommy's cock."

Yoona whispers sweet nothings into your ear. You know that this only the calm before the storm.

Without asking if you are ready, which she would usually do, Yoona starts to pull out of you. Your hole clamps down on the plastic, not wanting it to leave your body. Just when only the tip remains inside, Yoona pushes forward again. She does this very slowly a couple of times, before she starts to pick up the pace.

It hurts a little as she becomes faster, but you don't complain. You can take it and you don't want to get on her bad side.

"Oh, damn. You're so hard already."

The whole time, Yoona has kept stroking your cock. She removes her hand for a moment and you hear her spit on it. Her now wet hand goes back to working your cock, while the plastic cock in your ass keeps moving back and forth.

Just as you are getting adjusted to the current pace, Yoona starts to fuck you faster. Some thrust leaves you breathless as she pushes your face into the mattress with her power.

"Mommy..."

You don't dare ask her to stop, but you need to warn her. You feel like you are losing control. Your thighs start to shake, your cock twitching a little.

"Not, yet."

You can tell she is gritting her teeth as she fucks you from behind. Both her hands are now on your ass as she keeps up the pace. Soon, she is pounding away with no regard for your comfort. The plastic inside of you drags along your inner walls and keeps splitting you open.

"Mommy..."

It seems that is the only word that you can force off your lips. As she takes your ass, you can tell that Yoona is really enjoying herself. Her nails are slightly digging into your flesh as she holds a tight grip on you. Apart from her breathing, which is now a little faster, you can hear her deep moans and an occasional grunt.

"Mommy, I think I'm gonna-"

You suddenly have a mouthful of the mattress. Yoona has pushed your head down to shut you up, ignoring your warnings that you're about to cum.

You can't help it. The plastic dildo in your ass keeps dragging along your inner walls as Yoona fucks you hard. You hiss, feeling slight pain, as she bottoms out inside of you.

You want to warn her again. Tell her you're about to cum on the sheets. But your words are muffled by the mattress, while Yoona keeps fucking you further into it.

"Don't cum too early, baby."

She mocks you, her hand finding it's way to your cock again. She squeezes it slightly while she strokes you faster and faster. Timed with her thrusts, her handjob pushes you further towards your climax.

Because you can't talk, you can do nothing but take Yoona's cock in silence. You feel your back arch as Yoona pushes your head even further into the mattress. It enables her to drive herself even deeper into you.

That's the final push you needed. You let out a deep moan as you climax immediately. Yoona's dildo feels even bigger now, her hand drains you of all of your cum. You can tell you've ruined the sheets, without even having to look.

"You've taken mommy's cock so well, baby."

Yoona leans down to kiss your cheek. For the first time today, she seems to genuinely care for you.

"Time for your reward."

You lift your head, once Yoona has removed her hand. You fall to the side, still breathing a little heavily.

Yoona uses your small break to untie the belt, before tossing it off the bed. She straddles you and leans over you with an expectant look.

You move your head upwards to lap at her armpits, cleaning her off the sweat that had just build up over the last couple of minutes.

"Get your tongue in there, yes!"

Yoona sighs in delight. You let your hands wander over her clothed back, trying to find the zipper. Once you do, you slowly reveal what's been hiding underneath her one piece.

You move from her armpits, over her collarbone, towards her chest. You suck on Yoona's nipples, once your reach them. She moans out loud. Her tits are quite sensitive, especially while you dedicate yourself to worshipping her body.

More and more of her skin gets covered in kisses, until you've been everywhere at least once.

"Make me cum, baby."

Yoona quickly strips off her entire one piece, now leaning over you completely naked. The sight makes you hard again already. She quickly lowers herself onto your cock. Just like earlier, she doesn't wait for you to adjust yourself. She quickly picks up the pace, using your cock like a dildo.

"Use your tongue, damn it."

She groans as you stop for a couple of seconds, because you are too captivated by her beauty.

While she rides you, you keep your tongue on the skin of her upper body. You make sure you don't miss a spot. Her tight midriff, her chest, her collarbone, her shoulders, her pits. All deserve equal attention as you do your best to reach each spot.

Eventually, the combination of your cock inside of her and your tongue all over her pleasure her too much, Yoona finally orgasms on top of you. Her body shakes as she rides out her high.

Once she comes down, you are surprised by feeling her getting off of you.

"Mommy-?"

You'd hoped she would allow you to stay inside her longer. Maybe even cum in her.

"You are not done yet."

Yuna turns around and lies on her stomach on top of you. She purposefully puts her feet in the direction of your face. You feel her lips wrap around your cock, while you dart your tongue out to get your first taste of her feet today.

As you shift around a little, you can tell that your going to be sore tomorrow. But it won't be too bad. Because once she woke up, Yoona will be the beautiful sunshine she usually is. You wonder how long it's gonna take until her next rampage.

------------

Hi, everyone.

This is the first time I tried writing kinks like armpits and pegging, so the quality might not be as good as you expected. But I hope you were still enjoying reading it.

Stay healthy!

[shhhsecretsideblog]

Denial

Co-written with the gorgeously talented @gravid-transluna Thanks so much for picking up this RP starter, so happy we’re collaborating and writing fics. I’m having a blast! 💜 [fpreg, 7.7k words, birth denial, clothing birth, public birth]

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Alex had a million and one things to do in the office before she went on maternity leave. The day was disappearing fast and she’d barely sat down; with back to back meetings, numerous phone calls, it was non-stop. It seemed her body wasn’t too keen on being pushed so hard this late in her pregnancy, if the constant braxton hicks were anything to go by, but she powered through assuring herself that she’d be resting soon. Just get through today.

The Exec waddles into the lift, heading to a meeting room a few floors below. The doors were just about to close before a young employee jumped in lightly after her. They stood in relative silence facing the exit, until the sudden screech of metal clanged all around them. The floor shook, jolting suddenly, and the lift was brought to an abrupt halt.

Alex’s curled hair swung around her face as she glanced at the tiny screen which usually displayed the floor level - it was now flashing a warning error image. “Eugh, is the lift broken?” Alex gruffed, annoyed.

“Looks like it.” The anxious looking subordinate replied, clearly worried and apprehensive at the thought of being trapped in here. “H-Have you got your phone with you?”

“Damn. No, it’s on my desk. You?” Alex asks, frustrated her pregnancy brain had struck again, making her forget something as fundamental as her phone. Seeing the other woman’s expression Alex quickly realised neither of them had a phone.

Thankfully the lights stayed on, but the metal box quickly started feeling too small. Another cramp rolls across Alex’s large, full-term, belly and she can’t help but grimace.

“Oof…mmmnghh….” A moan slipped out under her breath, she rubbed the side of her twinging bump as the other hand automatically reached to the wall of the elevator for stability. “Hooohooo… not now…” Alex whispered.

The other woman looked at her nervously.

Colleen had two fears: contained spaces and her boss, Alex. Unfortunately for her, she was trapped in with both of them today. Alex’s pregnant belly straining the buttons of her work blouse did nothing to diminish her fearsome personality; if anything motherhood had only made her more intimidating, still a commanding presence in a roomful of men even with a swollen, overdue baby belly hanging off her frame.

Worse, her boss seemed a little more than uncomfortable in this situation. She’d seen her bite receptionists’ heads off her a wrong coffee order, but still, seeing Alex wince and rub her belly, which seemed to have dropped even lower this week, she felt compelled to hesitantly ask, “Ma’am, is everything alright? I’m sure they’ll realize we’re in here eventually.”

Alex gave Colleen a quizzical look, but on seeing where her colleague's gaze was, she realised she was rubbing the right side of her large pregnant stomach. She stopped, letting her arm fall limp at her side.

“I’m fine,” Alex replied curtly. “I just don’t have time for this today.” She sighed and looked around the cramped space, what she was looking for she didn’t know, but there must be someway to get someone’s attention and get them out of there.

She knew she was cutting it fine; both by how late she was going on maternity leave but also with how much she was trying to cram in to her last day. Her feet were aching in her 3inch heels having been on her feet for most of the day, in meetings and presentations and walking around the office trying to make sure everyone in her team was well equipped to continue things during her absence. She was heading down to the third floor for her next meeting with the team leaders, that was if the lift hadn’t so inconveniently broken down.

“So you don’t have your phone on you or any method of communication at all?” Alex griped, asking her mousy employee yet again. Hoping the woman would miraculously have a way of contacting the security team or something.

The baby in her womb seemed just as uncomfortable as Alex in this small space, shifting and kicking harshly against her taught and stretched skin. His head was sitting so low in her pelvis it felt like her hips were being pulled apart. She’d be happy when this pregnancy was over, she was done playing host, she wanted her body back. Though she continued to dress in her staple pencil skirt, blouse and heels, pregnancy be damned.

Alex began to pace around the room, finding herself needing to move, shifting the aching from her hips. Another braxton hicks decided to add to her problems, she huffed under her breath and faced away from the doors into the corner, blowing out a silent exhale through the twisting pain.

Colleen could tell by the way that Alex’s gaze flicked over her that she probably only recognized her face by sight and not by name. She seemed impatient, which wasn’t unusual for such a busy, ambitious, work-minded woman, but there was something else in her impatience, an almost shifting restlessness that seemed to match the restless movements in her packed womb. The fabric of her blouse was almost see-through, stretched so thinly around her massive swell, and Colleen could observe visible ripples against the tight skin of her belly. She winced. Colleen wasn’t at an age where she had seriously considered children, but her respect for her boss had grown immensely, seeing her waddle around the office in her pencil skirt and blouse, seemingly as efficacious as ever.

Alex’s restlessness became even more pronounced when she turned away from Colleen, as though hiding her big belly and whatever was going on inside it.

“I don’t have my phone,” Colleen said helplessly, hoping it wouldn’t result in a chewing out. “I left it in my handbag on my chair.”

Alex let out a disgruntled sigh, half from annoyance at her staff’s serious lack of organisation - who goes anywhere without their phone anyway? - but also from the way in which this false contraction was starting to bite.

The practice pains had been a consistent thorn in her side all day and it was really starting to get on her nerves. She’d successfully managed to grin and bear it through this morning's presentation to the board but by lunchtime they were starting to take her breath away. Still, Alex carried on. There was just too much to do and not enough time. It was why she was working right up to her due date, not that she told the company that. They’d have forced her out weeks ago if they knew she’d technically passed her due day on Tuesday.

When the pains passed, Alex spun around and walked determinedly towards Colleen who appeared to brace herself for something. She always got a warped joy when they did that. Leaning past her employee, Alex began pressing buttons on the lift and found the emergency call button. “Let’s try this shall we.” Alex smirked at the hesitant Colleen. Unfortunately the emergency button did absolutely nothing at all.

“Umm,” Colleen scratched awkwardly at her neck, trying to disguise her growing panic. She didn’t like the idea of being trapped, but more so she knew as things continued to go wrong her boss’s mood would continue to sour, and didn’t want to remotely be in her vicinity when it did.

She tried not to look at the immense belly taking up most of her field of vision, though it was hard not to glance at it, especially when making eye contact with Alex was such a terrifying experience.

“We could shout for help?” Colleen suggested. “Maybe someone will hear us from whichever floor we’re on.”

“Eugh… if you want to shout then go ahead.” Alex dismissed, and continued back to her pacing around the small space.

They stayed in awkward silence, the only sounds were the clack-clack of Alex’s heels on the metal floor as she did loops around her section of the lift. She had one hand on her back, knuckles pushing into the base of her spine as it ached and spasmed. She’d managed to breathe her way through a few more of the annoying cramps but they were soon joined by a serious increase in pressure.

One particularly forceful twinge made her gasp and stop her pacing, one hand flying to the wall to lean against as the tightening got stronger and stronger and stronger. She couldn’t stop the low hum she made in her throat as the cramp continued its assault.

Colleen didn’t dare to open her mouth to shout, knowing she’d probably receive a dirty look and a complaint about a headache for her troubles. Instead she watched as her boss paced, again noting her restlessness and the hand bracing her curved, strained back as well as the hand constantly circling and resting on the broad shelf of her belly, as though to soothe the baby inside. This time, though, she noticed Alex’s walk, the way she waddled as though encumbered not only by the weight of her huge bump, but a pressure of sorts between her legs.

She more than suspected Braxton Hicks at this point, but her worst suspicions were confirmed when her boss finally leaned against the wall as though unable to support her own weight or trying to escape a deep pressure from her womb. She hummed, lowing as though she’d momentarily forgotten Colleen was there, absorbed with sensations from her pregnant body.

“Ma’am, are you okay?!” She stepped closer, hands spread like she didn’t know what to do with them. “You’re having a contraction, right. Oh god. Oh, this is so bad.”

Alex waved a hand away at the approaching colleague, keeping her at arm's length. “Don’t be ridiculous. Hoooo…. It’s nothing, it’s just a c-cramp that’s all… mnghhh…”

Her hand drifted lower and brushed along the underside of her stomach needing to try and find some way to ease the ache that was gnawing through her belly. She could feel her knees start to wobble and she breathed steadily, her weight supported by the wall, until it passed.

“See, it’s gone now. I’m fine.” Alex stated confidentially, her work facade firmly replaced. “Someone better get us out of here soon, I’m gonna bloody fire that security officer.” Alex muttered aloud.

She wanted to resume her pacing, her hips needed the constant movement, but her feet were far beyond protesting the high heels - they were downright screaming at her. Too exhausted to keep up every one of her professional fronts, Alex resigned herself to the comfort of bare feet and uncharacteristically kicked off her shoes.

Colleen nodded furiously at Alex’s dismissal of the pains. “Right! Of course, just a cramp. I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

The young employee didn’t know much about pregnancy and birth, but she’d seen enough media about it to know that Alex closely resembled that of a woman in labor: the characteristically low, dropped belly, the consistent cramps, the restlessness. But…. that’d be impossible, right? There was no way she’d had the misfortune to be trapped in a lift with her boss of all people, and especially not an Alex in labor. That was not an encounter Colleen particularly wanted to be around.

She reassured herself. Even if those cramps coursing through Alex’s obviously overdue belly were labor pains, labor could take days, right? They couldn’t be stuck in here for more than thirty minutes, someone would absolutely notice Alex’s absence if not Colleen’s. She was too important to the company. Then, Colleen could get back to her emails and Alex could be sped off to the hospital or wherever she preferred to drop that kid.

These hopes wavered when Alex kicked off her shoes, pacing in her stockings. Colleen’s eyes widened. This was a ridiculously unprofessional move for Alex, she knew that for sure.

Without her black patent heels Alex shifted anxiously on flat swollen feet around the confined space, gradually feeling the temperature rise and the air thicken. There was no circulation in the small box, no air conditioning or fresh air coming through any gaps or vents. She could feel sweat start to dampen the back of her neck, her curled hair sticking to the tacky skin. She ran her fingers through her hair, arms stretching up and belly sticking out, picking up the ringlets from the back of her head and lifting them off her neck allowing some air to cool her overheated skin.

The Exec huffed an exhausted sigh. “How long do you reckon we’ve been in here?” Alex asked breathlessly to her subordinate.

She had given up on pacing and resorted to standing at the back of the lift and next to the metal railing that ran across the width of the back wall. Her hips swayed side to side, she breathed slow and deep, and occasionally would place a subtle hand on the railing for support.

The persistent braxton hicks were grating, chipping away at her resolve. It was probably just the confinement and heat, being stuck inside this metal box, but it felt like the intensity of the cramps were getting worse. She caught herself moaning under her breath when they struck, she tried to swallow the noise but it was never quick enough to remain totally silent. She wasn’t in the mood to field questions or concern from Colleen so she had to get those moans under control. Unfortunately for Alex, when the next contraction appeared it came on so suddenly she didn’t have time to prepare. The pain lanced across her stomach and Alex doubled over gasping, hands flying out and gripping the railing tight, an unusual groan rumbled from her throat.

Having watched her superior endure what were undeniably contractions at this point, Colleen’s concern had only multiplied. If she hadn’t been certain when Alex kicked off her heels (swollen, aching feet weren’t exactly uncommon in pregnancy, right?) or when sweat began to bead on her forehead in contrast to her usual inclement coolness (well, it is hot in here with no air conditioner, and she must be dying carrying around all that belly in such cramped quarters), there was not a doubt in Colleen’s mind when Alex clutched at the railing and moaned, low in her throat. It sounded so unlike Alex’s clipped, sharp tone. Almost animalistic, like something natural, a sudden instinct to vocalise as her belly contracted.

“Er—ma’am?” Colleen kept her distance, eyeing Alex’s heaving swell. “Are the, um, cramps getting stronger? They seem—well, they seem like they’re closer together too. Almost like—”

She didn’t dare say the word. Alex, she knew, didn’t like contradictions to what she said.

Instead she answered her boss’s previous question. “It’s probably been, oh I don’t know, maybe an hour or so?”

At the other woman’s panicked questions Alex managed to grit through her teeth a dismissive “… I’m fine!… mnghhh!” Alex tried to straighten up, to preserve appearances, and found she couldn’t - not while her muscles were still seizing. Instead another groan slipped from her mouth before she could clamp it shut.

“I-I think- they might be more than just cramps…” Alex panted as the worse seemed to fade away. “I think these m-might be… hoooo practice labour pains.” The Exec admitted hesitantly to her employee, removing one hand from the railing to circle around the heavy weight of her hanging bump.

She had a reputation to maintain, appearances to uphold, and Alex didn’t want to show any kind of weakness to anyone with an employee ID card. But as the waves continued she was forced to admit to her one companion she was indeed suffering from Braxton Hicks contractions. But that was fine, Colleen was only one person and after today she would be going on maternity leave and wouldn’t have to see anyone for months.

But this baby better quit practising for the main event soon. The false pains were aggressive and forceful, the weight of the baby’s head pressing so hard against her pelvis it felt like it was about to drop out any second. She hoped by the time they were rescued the baby and her body would have settled down. She wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

“They better get us out of here soon…” Alex breathed heavily and quietly. Then realising her company added “I’ve got a meeting at 4pm with the CEO.”

Colleen tried to keep her face neutral, even as her boss doubled over groaning, her belly tight around her middle. Alex’s thighs were wide in her pencil skirt and Colleen could tell by their restless shifting and the slight bending of Alex’s knees that she was feeling the urge to spread them even more, not quite a squat yet but unable to stand with any poise anymore. Inwardly, though, her thoughts were racing. Braxton Hicks weren’t powerful like this, were they? After all, if they had forced a woman like Alex into a panting dishevelled mess, they must be pretty strong.

‘Should I tell her it sounds like she’s having contractions?’ Colleen deliberated. By the minute, she could tell Alex was progressing into her labour. Even as she struggled to maintain her image her body was getting her ready for birth, and Colleen knew that even her boss’s willpower wouldn’t halt such a natural, primal process. Then again, if Alex wanted to be in denial, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. They still had to wait in this lift until rescuers showed up—Colleen might as well not lose her job on top of it.

Instead, she nodded again. “Yes, ma’am. Of course, practise pains. I’m sure they’ll subside before long. They’re supposed to be quite irregular.”

“Exactly… hoooo… I just need to ride them out. It’s fine. Hoooo…” Alex’s usually assertive voice sounded somewhat unsure. She didn’t like it.

Both hands returning to the railing, facing the wall, Alex found her weight shifting from hip to hip. Her stance was wide - when did that happen?- and her blouse was damp with sweat. The boss was grateful there was not a mirror in this lift, dreading to think what she looked like.

The false pains didn’t seem to be fading anymore, staying at a constant ache in her womb with agonising peaks shooting across her back and down her thighs. She prided herself on her ability to handle any challenge, but for the first time in her life she doubted her willpower to make it through. If this was practice labour she did not want to experience the real thing. Perhaps she should organise a c-section when she gets out of here.

The pressure in her pelvis was getting almost unbearable, and combined with the false contractions that continued to strike, she felt herself losing control of her autonomy. Her body was shifting and moving of its own accord and ghastly noises were coming from her mouth. Her hips were on fire, a weight pressing and splitting them apart. She bent over gripping the railing, flat back and hips shifting backwards. Her legs tried to stand further apart but were stopped by the tight fitting pencil skirt around her thighs. The groan that left her mouth was unrecognisable, like she was possessed. As the pressure built and built, she could feel an urgency sinking lower and lower. Before she knew it the sounds from her mouth had deepened, her heavy breathing ending with an animalistic grunt.

Colleen continued to observe as Alex made noises that she couldn’t even reconcile with the aloof, in-control Alex that she knew. Wide-eyed, she couldn’t stop staring as the laboring woman paced the tiny space. Her grunts, the way she hissed through her teeth, with every sound she appeared closer and closer to giving birth. Her waddle was pronounced, almost bowlegged as though there was a deep weight between her legs, forcing them apart and pulling her closer to a grounded position. ‘Holy shit,’ Colleen thought. ‘She’s about to drop her baby!’ She didn’t know a thing about midwifery or delivering a child. Much less delivering for a mother who refused to even admit she was in labor.

Colleen tried to track Alex’s contractions in her mind as they ramped up in both frequency and intensity, but found it hard without a watch or a way to tell time. Eventually she gave up, reassuring herself that the next stage of labor wasn’t yet upon them, and that unless Alex broke her waters the baby would remain inside her womb until they could call some paramedics. Still, she didn’t like the fact that Alex appeared to be losing her calm, composed self. Drenched in sweat, grunting and groaning through contractions, her body was obviously telling her it was time, and Colleen wondered if she’d even let her help if it came down to her pushing her kid out into her pantyhose or exposing her heavily pregnant self to a random colleague.

Alex’s grip on the railing tightened as she felt her legs start to tremble. Pressing her forehead against the cool metal wall, she released a shaky exhale. She couldn’t think… hell she could barely stand. Every part of her entire being was consumed and overwhelmed by the pressure and pain between her legs.

In some buried corner of her mind an instinct was telling her to get lower to the ground, to remove her skirt and tights, to open up her legs and hips. Alex fought against the idea, she’d already lost enough dignity trapped in this lift with some entry-level employee, she was not going to make it any worse. But when the next contraction struck, any fighting spirit she had seemed to evaporate.

“Ohhhh god!!!! Mnnnghhhh!” She groaned, long and deep, rocking herself forwards and backwards and clinging on to the only thing keeping her on two legs. “The pressure….. hoooooo…. There’s so much -mngh!- pressure!!! Mnngghhhhh!!!”

Her body sank back deep into her hips, knees dipping slightly in her tight pencil skirt and belly hanging to the ground, her backside swaying in the centre of the confined space. She could feel her muscles squeezing with the force of contraction, trying to do something. The baby dropped even lower and smashed through her cervix. She felt so full, the mass in her pelvis so heavy, and her body screamed at her to bear down.

“No…..” Alex cried aloud against nature's call. “No… don’t…” but her instincts took over and suddenly the mother-to-be was pushing.

“Ma’am!” Colleen cried, startled by such a stark display of utter abandonment from her boss. Her waters hadn’t yet broken. She couldn’t be pushing, could she?! Yet Alex was squat-standing and clutching the railing, the backs of her thighs trembling with an immense groaning effort. It sounded more forceful than just enduring the pains in her belly. It sounded as though Alex was actively doing something, putting in a hard, straining effort. Working with her body without a thought in her mind except birthing her baby. Between her spread thighs, Colleen could see the underside of her stomach, hanging low, uterus clenching her belly into a hard, tight ball. The way she bent her knees periodically, grunting uncontrollably each time… it was as though she was trying to force something low and heavy through her bottom. Everything about Alex seemed heavy, gravid.

She groaned again, and Colleen gasped, “Ma’am, are you pushing?! You can’t push, not yet!”

Tentatively, she placed her palm against Alex’s swaying lower back, curving with the weight of her belly. She began to rub and massage the tense muscles, not knowing what else she could do to help. The way Alex seemed consumed with birthing, Colleen didn’t think she even noticed her.

“Unnhhh- I’m not pushing! I’m not- ohhhhhhh- I’m not in labour damn it!!!” Alex’s staccato breaths carried her continued denial of what was happening to her body.

She gasped, breath holding in her lungs, and her body pushed again without instruction. Alex ignored the faint relief that was gained with the push, the satisfaction of the productive contraction, the moving of the baby as it neared its exit. But then the urgency faded, the contraction eventually dimmed, and Alex could think again. She had control again.

It was then she noticed the hands that were rubbing her lower back. Startled Alex abruptly stood upright and glared at the presumptuous woman beside her. “What on earth are you doing?” Alex sniped, waving an arm and shooing her away.

The nervous employee recoiled back and Alex shifted around the space again, both hands holding the large belly about to burst out the sweat-dampened blouse. “I am not in labour.” Alex repeated firmly, forcing the confidence as if willing it to be true. “I am not having this baby, and I don’t need your help.”

Colleen barely managed not to gape. Here Alex was, belly gleaming with sweat under her soaked blouse, contractions ramming her incessantly, curly hair damp and mussed in the heat of the lift. Her cheeks were splotchy and red with exertion and her chest was heaving, from the release of the contraction or from the force of her obvious pushing, Colleen couldn’t tell. All she did know was that her boss was actively bearing down, that much was clear. She would have thought anyone else was joking, but she didn’t think Alex had a sense of humor. She had to be in denial, Colleen concluded. To squat down and push like an animal like that, then brush off help like it was nothing—if nothing else, Alex certainly had willpower.

Of course, modesty and willpower goes out the window when you have a baby coming out of you, and from the noises and pushing grunts Alex had been making, it couldn’t be long now.

“I-I’m sorry,” Colleen stuttered. “Those…. practice cramps seemed so intense. You seemed like—well, like you were—“

Under Alex’s exhausted glare, Colleen faltered and trailed off.

“Uhh, I told you… I am not in labour- hoooo- I am fine!” Alex swallowed a moan before it slipped out her mouth. “When are they gonna bloody get us -mnnnnh!- outta here!” Standing by the lift doors Alex stared at the vertical line where the two sides of the sliding panels met, glaring at it willing them to open.

The weight of the baby’s head had started to press against her opening, Alex’s legs forced even wider apart with the sensitivity. Buried under layers of denial and facade, the unconscious sense of urgency had been joined by desperation and it was making its way to the surface.

Her fingers pulled at her blouse, freeing the thin satin from her skirt and letting it drape down from the significant curve of her belly. The pressure between her legs was beginning to return, Alex could feel it coming. Her arms lifted, hands palming the lift doors, and before she knew it she was banging on the metal to try and get the attention of someone outside this tin can.

The banging didn’t last long before Alex was stopped by the sheer force of the next contraction. Her fingers slowly slid down the lift door as her body crumpled in half over her tight, rock-solid belly. Double over she braced herself against the lift door, thighs widening and knees buckling in a semi-squat, and her body bore down with everything it had. Whether she wanted to or not every muscle was tense and squeezing, pushing the large round shape down down and out of her body. A rumbled grunt echoed from her lungs as she strained and pushed and contracted, and the heaviness between her legs started to burn.

Colleen was hyperventilating, barely able to register her own thoughts over the din of Alex’s furious pushing, grunts and groans erupting from her throat without pause or respite. The baby had to be coming soon, with how forcefully and urgently Alex was bearing down. Colleen’s mind swirled. As Alex pushed she took up the mantle of alerting any outsider to their situation, cupping her hands to her mouth and shouting over Alex’s uncontained moans.

“Help! Help us! We’re trapped in the lift and there’s a pregnant woman in here! She needs help, FAST!”

Alex’s voice rose to a deep bellow, trembling as though she was fighting an exhaustive battle against the baby inside her, bending her knees and opening her hips as wide as they could go in an attempt to drive it down and out. As her voice took on a higher, strained quality, Colleen began to suspect that something astonishing was taking place under her pencil skirt, that with all the pushing she’d been doing, the baby couldn’t possibly be very far from its only way out of her.

“Alex,” Colleen cried desperately. “What should I do?! I don’t know what to do!”

“You- mngh- don’t need to do anything cos mngh- I am not having this baby!” Alex grunted out, palms flat on the metal door, legs bent and wide beneath her skirt. “I am not in labour- hooo- I am not in labour…”

The exec panted the mantra over and over, fighting against her body’s urges to bear down. This baby was not being born in an elevator. She just had to breathe through the pains and she would be in the comfort and safety of a hospital soon, having a c-section damnit. That is what would be happening, not whatever the hell this woman was panicking about. Alex was in control, she always was in control, and the birth of her baby would be no different. She pushed herself off the doors and tried to move, to breathe through it, but the second she turned around her body doubled over and she gripped the railing to keep herself on two legs.

And then the burning got worse - the weight pressing lower, stretching apart her lips. The instinctual need to bear down was no longer a strong suggestion but a screaming demand. Alex was barely aware of her body’s actions anymore, she just wanted it all to stop. All she could do was gasp for air in between the bursts while her body forced the baby lower and lower - the head spreading her most intimate part around its giant surface. I will not have my baby here I will not have my baby here she chanted with every uncontrollable push.

Her thighs pulled the skirt as wide as it would go trying to make room, her whole body weight thrown forward as she leant over gripping the railing, arms locked and knees bent. But her hips weren’t wide enough, her body was too restricted by clothes, yet Alex was frozen to the spot as she grunted and roared with every wave. Soon the growling noise from deep in her throat turned into a pained whimper when the baby’s head pushed right through and fully crowned into her thong and stockings.

Colleen watched in horror as fluid suddenly spurted from between Alex’s thighs, soaking the floor of the elevator, filling the contained space with a musky, almost fertile scent. Alex shivered, lifting onto her toes as she gripped the railing. She looked as though her entire body was being pulled downward with the force of her descending baby. Her stockings were drenched—Colleen could scarcely believe the amount of fluid Alex’s body had let out, and it was still dripping and leaking from inside her skirt. She felt nauseous looking at the spreading puddle beneath Alex’s feet, and thought to herself, no doubt about it, there’s her waters. The release didn’t diminish Alex’s groaning efforts, though; if anything, the sudden breaking seemed to only renew her utter need to birth, nothing impeding or delaying its progress any more.

Except, of course—

Colleen gasped. “Ma’am—Alex—your skirt!”

Alex’s thighs trembled and quivered, spread so far that Colleen could see the hem of her skirt cutting into the flesh of her legs. She was trying to instinctively widen them, Colleen realized. She needed more space, even with them spread so far already, and Colleen could barely imagine the sheer size of the baby coming out of her boss. Then she didn’t have to imagine. As she watched, Alex’s skirt began to tent out slightly, tight against her backside as she doubled over, back flat. Whenever Alex grunted loudly, bending her legs and clutching the railing, the bulge in her skirt grew. That’s the head, Colleen thought, her own head spinning. My god, it’s enormous. It was a miracle they hadn’t been found yet from the noises Alex was making, letting loose guttural groans and roars that echoed in the enclosed space. Her entire face was twisted with effort, teeth clenched and eyes squeezed shut. All her strength was going into giving birth to her massive baby, but still, it didn’t seem to be enough, not with her skirt keeping her legs too narrow, her hips too closed. Alex’s skirt lifted and tented more and more, until it seemed to reach a peak. Alex’s voice slipped into a whimper and Colleen blinked, never having thought she’d hear Alex make such a vulnerable, sensitive sound. Then, Alex dropped into another hard push. The tent in the fabric stayed put.

“Your skirt,” Colleen said again, and hurriedly bent to pinch Alex’s skirt up. “Your skirt��s—“

From this angle she could finally see the crown, and drew in a breath. Her boss’s most intimate region was stretched and distended beyond recognition, lips taut around the huge head making its way out of her from behind her thong. The narrow strip of black fabric just contained the head’s huge circumference, cupping it tightly, barely allowing any more space for it to progress. Without room, Alex was stuck with a full crown between her legs, unable to push it out into her stockings.

With her boss barely able to speak anymore, Colleen made an executive decision. “I’m sorry, but we have to get this skirt off. Your baby’s coming, Alex. I can see the head! It’s coming out of you, and you need to let it, okay?! Come on, please listen to me.”

“No….unghhhh!” Alex mewled “I’m not having this baby… not here- ohhhhhhhh!”

The Exec had completely lost all semblance of control; doubled over, hanging onto the railing, legs wide and dipped as much as they could go. Alex couldn’t move. She hissed through her teeth, panting as her labia stretched thin, the baby sitting between her folds. But the baby couldn’t come now! It just can’t. She was at work for fucks sake! And worse, she was trapped in the lift. Real labour takes hours, days, there was no way she was pushing a baby out right now…

Her body argued against her thoughts as everything tightened and contracted once more. Gasping for air Alex tried to fight the muscles bearing down against the ridiculously large mass in her vagina, but panting through the pain didn’t do anything to stop the automatic pushing. Primal and animalistic noises left her mouth as her body pushed, her deep lowing reverberated off the walls.

Grunting at the end of each push, Alex tensed and strained, the instinct desperate to expel the child from her womb. But it wasn’t moving, slipping only the tiniest millimetre into her underwear. Heart racing Alex felt panicked - fighting hard against this birth and yet simultaneously trapped as the baby was stuck, held in by her tight stockings.

“Oh god!!!! Get it out- get it OUT!!!” She cried.

It was all too much; the burning, the fullness, the weight, the pressure. Alex collapsed under it all. She let go of the railing, legs shaking, and she clawed at the hem of her skirt trying to pull it higher, to give her hips more room. It was so tight, and her legs were so wide, her nails scraped across the surface of her stocking covered thighs as she gripped and pulled the black fabric of her skirt up towards her hips. But another wave crested and with it she was consumed by the need to bear down once more. Abandoning her skirt she held fast to the metal railing, her knees buckling trying to pull her down into a squat, but the pencil skirt creaked as the fabric stretched to its limits and she could only dip down slightly and push the baby against the strained clothing.

“I-it’s stuck!” Colleen stuttered. “The head is—” she raised her voice, tried to get through to Alex, but could barely even hear her own words over the almost-inhuman noises escaping from Alex’s throat as she fought desperately against the elastic of her thong, caught between the need to birth and the unyielding fabric of her stockings and the black fabric containing the massive head tightly in her vagina, shoving forward with powerful muscles as it wedged back inside her with just as much force.

She couldn’t open her legs any wider, Colleen saw. They shook violently as she threw back her head and let loose another deafening moan. From Alex’s furious face it was obvious that Colleen didn’t even register as a presence anymore, that the only thing in the world that Alex was thinking about in this moment was the head lodged between her tensed, opened lips.

Only when Alex started screaming that she needed it OUT, right now, was Colleen galvanised into action. She lowered from her crouch until she was kneeling between Alex’s legs. For a brief second, Colleen was in awe of the sight before her; the woman she’d known as a fearsome presence, a powerful executive, had been reduced to a groaning, sobbing mess, birthing into her skirt. Yet, this was her transformation into motherhood, and there was something powerful in that too.

“Alex,” Colleen said. “Alex, you have to stop pushing. I need to get your skirt down.”

She doubted Alex even heard her, but nonetheless she grappled with the clasp of Alex’s pencil skirt. The waistband was held taut by Alex’s widened legs as she tried to allow the baby to pass through, and Colleen was unable to undo the clasp.

“Shi-it,” she licked her teeth and then grabbed both ends of the waistband, pulling hard. The clasp tore off, and immediately the skirt loosened and sagged around Alex’s hips.

“Oohhhhhh… get-it-off-GET-IT-OFF!!” Alex yelled, feeling the tightness of the skirt loosen around her middle.

She had to push, she had to get this baby out now - location and present company be damned - the torturous stretching and excruciating pain had to stop. And Alex knew there was only way in which it would.

Her employee, whateverhernameis, was pulling the skirt over her widened hips and Alex squirmed and shifted with the fullness and desperation to bear down. When the skirt hit the floor Alex immediately stepped out of it and dropped down fully into a deep squat, roaring with the effort of another push. The woman was behind her, she thinks, but she barely notices… Alex’s arms stretch upwards, hands still gripping the railing, her body hanging off the support and almost swinging in her squat.

Her underwear and stockings were still covering her lower body but the freedom of being able to fully open her legs meant the baby could move further out. Alex pulled in a deep breath and bore down with everything she had. Silent in her efforts as all her focus went inward.

Part of her wanted to feel, to know how much of the baby was born and how much there was left to go, but she daren’t release her vice-like grip for fear of collapsing and losing her pushing position. She gasped, her throat scratched and raw, and clamped her teeth together and growled another push. The baby was coming, she could feel it slipping out and this time it wasn’t retreating. Harder and harder she leant into the push and finally the head popped out into her stockings. Alex sobbed with relief and collapsed back into her member of staff.

Colleen cried out in surprise as Alex fell back into her arms, leaning her entire body weight into them as though she had used up all of her strength, drained from pushing the huge head through her overstressed opening, and beneath her more fluid flooded the floor of the lift from the sudden release. Colleen gingerly caught her by the armpits, and Alex’s knees jackknifed apart, jutting upward as she lowered her bottom and hips beneath her, the head dangling between the apex of her thighs. She moaned, breathless, closing her eyes. Tear trails marked their way down her cheeks. Damp and shivering, with a baby hanging out of her, Alex was totally vulnerable to Colleen, hardly seeming to even notice her exposure or dependence on her.

Colleen couldn’t help but smile down at her superior as she swayed and panted in her arms. An hour ago, Colleen might have received a harsh glance for even brushing her fingers as she handed her a coffee. Now, she was holding her up while she prepared to push her baby into the world.

“Go on,” Colleen urged. “Feel the head. It’s out now. You’re almost there.”

“What? Hoooo… it-it’s out… the head?” Alex could barely catch her breath to form words, her full breasts heaving up and down on her belly as she gasped for air.

Somehow the mother-to-be was still upright in her squat but no longer holding the rail, somewhere in her mind she knew the other woman was quite literally holding her up to birth but Alex couldn’t bring herself to pay it any mind. Her only focus was her child emerging between her legs. With a trembling hand she placed a hand downwards and felt, through the sheer stockings, her baby’s head.

“Oh my god… hoooo… I’m having the baby…”

Through all the denial Alex’s brain struggled to compute what was happening. She had fought against it so fiercely, so vehemently, and yet very clearly beneath her fingertips was a baby’s head.

“My-my tights… I’m still wearing my tights?! Oh no… the baby…the tights are over his head… have to get them off!” Alex shifted awkwardly, unsteady in her movements but seemingly desperate to free her emerging child from the confines of her stockings.

“Hoooo…. Ohhhh no….” Alex suddenly whimpered. “Ohhhhhhh I n-need to p-push again…. No… need-tights-off…Don’t push… mnnghhhh…”

“Hold on,” Colleen muttered, working out the logistics of removing Alex’s stockings with her squatting and crowning a baby into them. She heard Alex’s hushed voice, articulating her primal urge to bear down once again.

“Just a moment,” Colleen said, crouching lower while supporting Alex’s labouring body, wrapping her thumbs around Alex’s waistline.

She was close enough to smell the subtle aroma of Alex’s deodorant and the natural odors of birth on her, and see the sweat beaded on her neck. She saw every one of Alex’s muscles tense, her tendons standing clear. Alex moaned, already in the forceful grips of another contraction. Her moan tightened and deepened, and Colleen had listened through enough of her contractions to know that she’d begun to push against her will.

“Alex! No pushing, just hold on a few more seconds,” Colleen said, frantically tugging the stockings down her waist and glutes. Unfortunately, Alex didn’t seem to have any more seconds in her.

“Ohhhh GOD,” she bellowed. “Oh, I’m PUSHINGGGG!” She bore down relentlessly, and Colleen saw the head give a surge against the tight fabric.

Colleen cursed again. Between the baby being squeezed into the stretching fabric and Alex’s parted thighs and widespread knees, there was no way Colleen could even slide the stockings past her crotch. Which meant she couldn’t access Alex’s underwear either. The tent grew and shoved down toward the floor impossibly as Alex sank into her push.

Hopefully, she won’t be too mad about this, Colleen thought, then she seized fistfuls of fabric and tore, ripping a seam large enough for the head. Then she looped her finger around the thong and quickly pulled it to the side.

‘Okay! Okay, I think it’s free!” Colleen announced.

“Ohhhh fuck!!!! It’s coming outtt!!!” Alex cried, gasping a desperate breath in between her body’s involuntary pushing and she felt the burning ring return.

A deep and gravelled roar rattled her throat as the shoulders stretched her sore and sensitive lips. Her baby… it was coming out… in the elevator at work! She couldn’t quite believe what was happening. Gripping her knees she fully leant into the contraction, using every bit of it as her hips sank towards the floor and her muscles pushed.

Suddenly she yelped and jolted in Colleen’s arms as one shoulder slipped free and Alex quickly and instinctively let go of her knees to put both hands between her spread thighs. The baby’s head and neck were in her uncertain hands and she grunted, low and long, desperately calling on every ounce of strength she had left to get the infant out.

With a roar-turned-wail Alex cried out as the baby slipped from her body and shot into her waiting hands.

Up. She had to bring him up, had to hold him. In a fraction of a heartbeat Alex had pulled the baby from between her legs and held the slippery newborn against her chest.

“Y-you’re h-here… oh baby… you’re here…” Alex sobbed, wiping the blood and fluids from his face. It was scrunched and red, eyes not yet open, his body curled up tight. Then his fists pushed against her breast, legs kicking and discovering new sensations, and the little bundle let out a high-pitch cry as he opened his eyes.

Colleen let Alex slip from her arms to the elevator floor, cupping her baby gently in her arms and murmuring softly. She rocked slightly, and even in the enclosed space it seemed to Colleen as though Alex was in her own world, far away from anyone or anything else. She backed away, allowing Alex her moment to meet the child she’d worked so hard to carry and birth. She didn’t think she’d be able to see Alex as she had before, the untouchable executive. Instead, she’d witnessed Alex’s most intimate, vulnerable moment, even helped her through it. She smiled to herself and Alex cooed, her face close to the baby at her breast.

The quiet peace of the lift was disrupted by a banging on the metal ceiling.

“Hey—! Is someone in here? And, is that a baby crying?!”

Colleen met eyes with Alex, and laughed weakly. “I don’t suppose this qualifies for a promotion, does it?”

[kingkat12]

icarus burning (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: stalking, obsession, upir!roman, Roman is a bit of a creep, toxic but sweet relationship?, mentions of sex

summary: sometimes, the deer doesn't know it's being hunted

word count: 2,514

a/n: this was originally supposed to be a requested piece someone asked for, and it was supposed to be a sweet story... but Roman is Roman and I want to do the request PROPERLY, so that's coming up later hihi

It was hard to get a sweet moment out of a guy like Roman, but not impossible— I knew that long before we got involved. Long before that time I started running into him practically everywhere, before he paid for my lunch when I was holding up the queue in the cafeteria because my card didn't work, and before he suddenly started showing up everywhere I was at school. Coincidences. 

I first understood that he was into me the time we ran into each other on my Sunday stroll in the city and he offered to drive me home. It was during that drive that I was trapped with him, unable to run away from the notorious high school playboy my friends had warned me about numerous times. He had put his hand on my thigh, just for a few seconds, just to prove the point of some joke he was making— and I knew I was done for.

Roman eventually got a little weird when he realized his feelings were reciprocated, and it got even worse when he realized his infatuation was growing. He'd text me incessantly, as though he couldn't stay away from me for more than a few minutes at the time, and then proceeded to present as the human form of lukewarm tea whenever we met again in person. Maybe it was the fact that he was absolutely terrified of anything real, or maybe it was the fact that he had his playboy image to uphold— I have yet to ask him this, actually.

However, when I started giving him the cold shoulder, not answering his messages, not caring to put much work into our conversations in the hallway, Roman panicked. Completely. And it was during this time that I started to get a little suspicious about our run-ins— they got more frequent, his demeanour got more and more intense, and I could almost sense that he was spiralling. 

"Just... don't, like, ignore me," Roman mumbled as we strolled through the bread-section at the store, once again having met by coincidence— right? "I get that I've been a little weird recently, but I'm really trying here..."

"Trying what?" I turned to him, hoping for him to be clear about his thoughts for once. "What are you on about?"

Frustrated, lips pursed, Roman ran his fingers through his hair as his voice got lower. "I'm messing this up already, aren't I?"

There was something different about him today. He was fidgety, anxious—  what was happening? I wondered if he felt rejected by my rebellion against his weird habit of going hot and cold. "Messing what up, Roman?" If only he could just say that he liked me out loud. That would make me feel more at ease about liking him back despite everyone around me telling me not to.

Roman clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, nodding to himself, mind clearly racing. "Nothing. Forget it," Without even saying bye, he turned the other way and disappeared into the next aisle, leaving me even more confused than before. 

After having thought about our interaction at the store thoroughly, it dawned on me that I hadn't actually seen Roman with an actual girlfriend on his arm. Ever. He was either with a cheerleader he'd change out every few weeks, racing through the cheer-team as though it was a revolving door, or with some random freshman girl who had no idea what she was getting herself into. Now that I really thought about it, I hadn't seen him with either category during the past few weeks we had been talking. I had a feeling that Roman wasn't faking his cluelessness, and that he was genuinely walking around in the dark concerning how to address his feelings and act on them. 

Something told me I had to give him a nudge in the right direction.

The next day at school, I found him rummaging through his locker, possibly looking for a pack of cigarettes he had buried beneath all the books he never used. I leaned my back against the locker next to his, waiting for him to notice me. And when he did, I watched his usual serious face melt away and morph into a look of cocky surprise; "Oh my, look who it is," 

"Yours truly," I said, raising my hands in defeat as I suppressed a laugh. 

Roman shut his locker, his pupils dilating at a rather obnoxious rate. Was he relieved to see me after our conversation yesterday? "What's up?" he eventually said, his green eyes scanning me without even trying to hide it.

"Just wanted to say something," I had to steady my breathing— was I seriously about to do this? I could crash and burn, an event more damning than when Icarus flew too close to the sun. However, I knew I had to pull myself together, not wanting him to know how nervous this was making me; I wasn't exactly here to stroke his ego any further. 

Roman's eyes practically sparkled; "Yes?"

Fuck it. "Okay, so... I like you. And on top of that, I have a feeling you like me too. So I would like it if you stopped following me around and instead took some action," I held my breath, watching the horror wash over his face— did he really think that I'd believe our run-ins were coincidental at this rate? "There's a movie going at eight that I want to see, and it would be nice if you'd join... I'd like that very much."

Roman's lips parted in partial shock— this was definitely not what he had expected me to say. He cleared his throat, straightening up; "Pick you up at seven thirty?"

I had an inkling that I didn't need to give him my address. "Sure," I said, biting back a smirk. "Bring extra cash, by the way. Popcorn is on you."

Roman let out a laugh as he shook his head, clearly in denial. "As if I'd let you pay in the first place," He leaned against his locker, letting out a relieved sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You look nice today."

I did my best to not blush. Later, I have learned from Roman that my attempt was unsuccessful. "I know," I said, trying to hide my growing grin as I kicked off the locker; "Well, I was waiting for you to say that... And now that you have, I'm off to class. See you later, Rome."

Unable to hold back, Roman chuckled as he watched me go, letting out the breath he had been holding. 

Surprisingly, my plan had worked. The cinema date was the first of several that ensued, and I rewarded his normal behaviour by texting him back a little more frequently. However, I wasn't completely sold on dating him further, because the weird situationship-phase was probably a little weirder than it would normally be. For instance, there were times where I wouldn't respond for a few hours because I was busy with friends or family, and feel... watched. 

There was also that one time where Roman just... didn't let me leave the car after a date. It was quite bad, actually, because it was right in that moment where I felt like I had gotten my period and needed to make a run for it to check. But the doors were locked and the windows shut; his voice dropped and his eyes were weirdly dark when he finally turned to me, suddenly not looking like his usual self. "Could you just stay here... a little longer?"

 I couldn't quite pinpoint what was happening, but I noted to myself that he probably hadn't blinked in about three minutes. "I sort of have a curfew," I tried, tapping my fingers against the door, hoping he'd get the point. "It was really nice today, Roman, I had a lot of fun—"

"A minute," he said, almost like a command, voice turning rather raspy. Roman closed his eyes, breathing heavily. 

I wasn't sure whether he thought this was romantic or if he had some weird plans for me. "... I think my parents are going to pissed if I don't go soon—"

And it was in this moment that he leaned over and kissed me, effectively stopping my trail of words. I froze, unsure what this whole ordeal had been about, but all my thoughts of reason and concern seeped out of my brain, melting into the kiss against his soft lips. Maybe he had just been nervous to kiss me, maybe that's what that was?

In retrospect, I try not to think about it too much.

And just like that, everything was suddenly sailing smoothly— I would sit with Roman and his friends in the cafeteria, his arm proudly draped around me. He had started to insist that he picked me up and drove me to school every day, which usually ended with us making out in the backseat of his car before class. And after class. And outside my house after the trip back, not letting me leave before he got a 'proper goodbye', as he called it.

However, at the end of the day, he was still Roman Godfrey. The same guy that had probably slept with the whole cheerleading team, along with half the school. That thought had me shuddering, and I did my best to shove it as far back into my mind as possible. Eventually, it started gnawing on me that he would probably be expecting something more of me soon, something more than just making out in the back of his car, and it made me go all Roman on him— also known as cold and distant. 

"What's wrong?" he said, staring at me from the driver's seat after he had parked at school. "You've been a little weird... Did I do something?"

The situation was starting to make me feel borderline bad. I didn't like having this conversation in his locked car. "No, Roman, it's nothing... I'm fine,"

This was seemingly not the right answer— later that day, I was cornered in an empty stairwell on my way to class. Roman's eyes were so incessant, so strikingly green, I couldn't help but feel nervous. "Stop saying everything's fine when I can feel that it isn't," he said, keeping his voice low in case anyone would hear. "It's driving me nuts, you know me."

I gulped, needing to look away to collect my thoughts. I hated that I had started to avoid being alone with him, just in case he'd ask or try to initiate anything. In reality, I simply wasn't ready, and the fear of him discarding me after we were done was enough for me to postpone it. I also had a weird feeling that if I gave myself to him in that way, that he'd just never... stop. Roman would never get enough— he had already claimed me in every other way possible. "I just... feel like you want more from me than I'm willing to give at the moment,"

"What?" Roman's brows drew together in confusion. "That's just downright cryptic. Care to explain like a normal person? Are you breaking up with me or something?"

"No, no!" I definitely didn't want that. Feeling the tension grow, I ground my teeth together. "It's just... Have you noticed that you try to take off my shirt every time we make out?"

It was clear that Roman disappeared deep into his mind for a moment, scouring his memories. "I'm... sorry? I'll stop, I guess,"

I let out a rather big sigh, feeling my anxiety rise. "I know you might be used to a certain linearity and timeline with a lot of things when you were with other girls, but that's... not how I work," Finally looking up to meet his gaze, I chewed on my lip, awaiting an answer.

However, Roman looked like a big question-mark. "I suppose?" It was clear that he was lost.

I wanted to shrink into a tiny bug and get stomped. That would probably feel better than whatever this feeling was. "I need us to wait with... that,"

"... What, sex?" The way he followed up his words with a laugh made me even more anxious.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "And if that's a deal-breaker for you, then you have to tell me right now. Because I'm honestly not too keen on getting my heart crushed—"

My nervous ramble was cut off when Roman leaned down, capturing my lips in a rather passionate kiss which probably shouldn't have taken place in a school. "It's fine," he whispered against my lips, running his cold, slender fingers through my hair. "I don't care. I just care that we're okay. Because... we're okay, right?"

Smiling, I snaked my arms around his neck, my nose nudging his. "Of course we are,"

"Good," Roman beamed, letting out a sigh of relief. However, his smile wasn't there for long— his eyes rounded out, getting serious, as though he was about to deliver some very, very bad news.  "But... just so you know, when a guy doesn't have sex for a very long time, his dick turns purple and falls off. So when you're ready for it, the chance might not be there... Just be aware of that."

I watched him crack up, giving in to a rather loud laugh which resulted in me giving his arm a playful smack— this guy, honestly. 

And we continued to be okay for a very, very long time. More than okay, actually; it was a continuous walk on cloud nine, and I was officially convinced that he was the man for me. Hence why I decided to put him through the most nerve-wracking situation a teenage boy could be thrown into— meeting the parents.

I was currently fluffing his hair on my front porch, watching his knuckles turn white around the flowers he had brought for my mother. My sweet, sweet boy. "Don't be nervous," I cooed, getting up on my toes to kiss his cheek. "It's just dinner."

"Sure," Roman breathed, clearly spooked. "Dinner. Just dinner. Food."

I couldn't help but chuckle— he was so damn cute sometimes, and he had no idea. "After this is over, we can go up to my room and cool off, okay?"

Immediately, Roman's pale face turned a little rosy. "That's a consolation,"

"Sure is," Before I turned to knock on my door, I pulled him in for a kiss, stroking through his hair. "You'll be fine, Rome, I promise. I adore you, and they will too."

Roman let out a shaky breath, smiling back at me. His eyes had rounded out at the words of affirmation; it was clear to me that he was absolutely smitten, and he didn't have to speak for me to know what he was thinking— you're everything.

I tried not to think about the fact that it was sort of concerning how much he was into me. That I was his actual everything. How he'd sometimes tighten his grip in my hair to the point where it sort of hurt, burying his nose against the top of my head as he held me closely... and how it only happened when I was on my period.

I didn't care. 

... For now.

[straylightdream]

rose-colored boy

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: bang chan x reader

↳ Life never goes as planned, when you were younger you always imagined as reaches your mid twenties you would be married with kids. Instead you’re stuck at home helping take care of your sick grandmother and still desperately searching for her fathers approval. The only thing in your life that makes you feel normal is Chan.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non idol au, romance, angst, smut

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit sex, anxiety, and mentions of depression, crying and lots of emotions.

𝐚𝐧: I’m reworking a story I posted in 2020 here. This story is a one shot right now, but if there is enough interest I might write a part two.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲

The sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach is an all too familiar feeling that you’re a disappointment. Inhaling a deep breath you're listening to your father gush about your brother and his new wife. Your younger brother sports a proud smile listening to your father. This family dinner was exactly like all the other ones you have shared.

“Y/N have you considered going back to school?” Your father asks, pointing his attention back at you.

Closing your eyes you take a deep breath attempting not to roll your eyes at your father. He’s aware that you don’t have time to go back to school. He chooses to ignore the fact that your grandmother's condition is getting worse and your mother needs all the help she can get. Your father tends to live in his own world ignoring the problems you and your mother and his ex wife face. He stopped caring long before he left your mother, so it’s not like this is anything new.

Looking at your brother you give him a pleading look. You wished he would recognize your silent begging for help.

“I would love too, but mom needs my help with grandma,” you try your hardest to keep your tone even. You don’t need your father or your stepmother Hae-Won commenting about your bitchy attitude.

“Your mother needs to put her in a home and move on,” your father’s cold tone stings. He’s always been a more distant man, but at one point he did actually love your mother and her family.

“Mom needs Y/N,” your brother finally speaks up defending you.

“Darling, listen to your son,” Hae-Won rested her hand on your father's arms. Your stepmother tends to be the voice of reason when it comes to your father. Hae-Won is a kind woman and she always attempts to treat you with kindness.

Dinner continues with a blur. Your father has switched his attention back to your brother and his career. Standing up, walking outside desperately needing fresh air and escape from constant judgment. Your brother walks outside with his car keys in his hand.

“Sorry that was so rough,” he finally speaks.

Shoving your hands in your jeans pockets you try to act like you aren’t fazed by their constant judgment.

“Joshua, that was like every single dinner we have,” looking down at your feet you sigh.

“YN, I’m sorry I’m not there for mom,” he reaches his hand out resting it on your shoulder.

“You’re married now, Rosie needs you.”

Your brother being married had nothing to do with him not helping mom. The moment Joshua went to university he found his escape from the life you were now trapped in. If it wasn’t for you your mother would lose her mind. Your grandmother's Alzheimer's started getting bad while you were in high school, and proceeded to get worse while you were in your first year of university. Your mother’s mental breakdown during the summer after your first year pushed you to drop out to help out at home.

“Did you need a ride home?” your brother asks.

Silently you nod.

The ride was filled with awkward conversation. You and your brother used to be close. When he was at home you used to be best friends. He quickly found a life away from you and your mother. You can’t blame him though. If you were given the chance to run away from all this you in a heartbeat. You dreamed of a life away from yours. You want a life when you don't struggle to get by. You want a life that doesn't feel completely trapped. You desperately want to go back to school and get your degree, but it’s just not an option.

Pulling into the drive of your family home Joshua puts the car in park, but doesn’t turn it off. You want to ask if he’s gonna go inside to see mom, but you know the answer.

“You should come over to have dinner with Rosie and I.” He’s always trying to get you to be closer with his wife.

“Okay,” you say, getting out of the car. Glancing back at your brother while shutting the door you see him wearing a sad smile. You wished things between you and your brother weren’t so strained.

Walking inside you find your mother sitting in the living room talking to your grandmother.

“Hi,” you stop and wave at them.

“Are you my granddaughter?” Your grandmother asks, looking at you.

Your stomach drops and you put on your best fake smile you can possibly muster and nod your head. It never gets any easier. The feeling of her not remembering you feels like a dagger slowly being pushed into your chest. You think back constantly to the days where your grandmother was your favorite person. Back to the days when your parents would fight and your grandmother would come and pick you up and take you out to get ice cream. All the sweet memories you used to share have slowly started drifting away. You can’t help but feel mad that you’re watching one of the people you love most in the world drift away. You’re not nearly as patient with her as you’ve been in the past. You curse yourself each time you give the slightest attitude answering the same question for the hundredth time. It’s hard to explain the way you feel. In the earlier stages when you first dropped out of school you used to sit for hours with your mother keeping her company as she watched her mother, but as the more time has passed its grown more difficult to sit there. These days your grandmother could barely maintain a conversation, and most of her questions were about sore subjects. She often asks your mother where her husband is. Or asked if you were married. Your dating life in itself was a touchy subject. You had zero desire to bring someone into your life. You were trapped enough that nobody deserved to be dragged into this life.

“How was dinner?” Your mother asked, standing up.

“Fine,” you lied, turning on your heels and heading down the hallway towards your room.

Shutting the door press your back against the door and let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Reaching into your pocket you pulled out your phone to see a text from Felix. It simply read “come over to mine and Jisung’s for drinks at eight.”

Looking at the clock on your nightstand you saw it was already eight thirty. You already had a rough night. You should probably take a hot shower and call it a night. Holding your phone up you stared at his text for a solid moment before you simply responded, “be there soon.”

Opening your door walking back into the living room you find your grandma sitting alone. Walking into the small kitchen you find your mom pouring herself a large glass of wine.

“Did you need my help tonight?” You prayed she would say no. You needed a night with your friends especially after your dinner with your dad.

“Where are you going?”

“Felix invited me over for drinks,” you give her a small smile.

“I’m assuming your father was in one of his moods,” she brings the red wine up her lips and takes a big gulp.

“I’m nothing more than disappointment, especially when I’m next to the shining star known as Joshua,” you sound bitter, but you can’t help it. You would be lying to yourself if you said you aren’t jealous of your younger brother.

“You’re not a disappointment,” your mother states.

“Dad thinks I am,” you don’t want to talk about it anymore. This subject just makes you feel even worse.

“Your father's opinion doesn’t matter.” You wish that was true, but for some reason your father’s opinion felt like everything to you. You’ve lived your whole life wanting nothing more than your father's approval.

“Go have fun with your friends.”

Stepping outside you're greeted by the cold autumn air. You choose to walk to the boys place. It’s only a ten minute walk, and you know the walk will give you time to clear your head. You need this time to push away the feeling of disappointment and sadness.

Walking up to the door you knock and step back. It takes all of thirty seconds before Jisung opens the door and pulls you inside. Looking around. In the apartment you see a small group of friends. It’s Felix, Jisung and their six guy friends and three girls. You recognize the blonde girl Soomin as the girl Seungmin has been trying to hook up with.

“Drinks are in the kitchen,” Jisung says.

Nodding you walk into the kitchen. In the small white kitchen you find Chan talking to Felix. Felix wastes no time reaching forward pulling you into a hug.

Pulling away, Felix holds your shoulders and looks at you with his eyebrows knit together. “Why are you so tense?”

“I had dinner with my father and Joshua.”

“Is your father still acting the same?” Felix is one of the few people who know your whole situation with your family. Not even Jisung, who you’re just as close to, knows about your whole family situation.

“Yeah,” you sigh, glancing over at Chan who looks at you like he’s studying you.

“Did you want something to drink?” Chan asked.

Felix removes his hands from you. He smiles over at Chan and says, “make the girl something strong she really needs it.”

Felix walks out of the room leaving you alone with Chan. Things with Chan have always been easy. He’s someone who is kind and easy to make conversation with. You’ve grown closer to him over the last couple months. He’s an old high school friend of Felix. Out of all your friends he seems to by far have his life the most together. He works at a bank in a high up position and even has his own apartment. You’ve watched enough women at bars attempt to capture his attention, but the thing about Chan is he doesn’t seem to want theirs. He’s always seemed so driven by work you’ve never even heard of him dating anyone.

Handing you a red cup he captures your attention, “it’s pretty strong.”

“Is everything okay?”

You take a sip of the strong drink and look up at him with hooded eyes. Shrugging your shoulders you aren’t even sure how to respond to that question. Technically everything is okay, nothing has changed. You feel the exact same way you’ve always felt. You’re just doing a terrible job at hiding it. Normally you pride yourself on trying to hide away all your problems that seem to be eating away at you.

“Rough day,” you sigh.

He leans back against the counter and looks at you. You can’t help but let your eyes travel across his body. Chan is very handsome and you aren’t really sure why some girl hasn’t been able to lock him down. He stands there oh so casually dressed jeans and button up shirt.

“You know you can talk to me right? I know Felix is the only one you fully let in, but I like to think we’re friends too. If you need someone to vent to, I'm here to listen.”

“I don’t need to burden someone else with all my problems.”

Chan is one of the kindest and most caring people that you’ve ever met. He’s always been like the father figure of your group of friends. You’ve seen your friends pull him aside to talk to him when they’re having problems. He’s being honest with you when he tells you he’s there to listen to you. He won't judge you for whatever you’re going through.

“You know you aren’t a burden to anyone right? You’re friends with me and all the boys. We’re all here to support you. We just want to help.”

You wished it was that easy that you could just talk about your problems and it would help them go away. You could scream from the rooftop that you’re tired of feeling like a disappointment, but it wouldn’t make the feeling go away. You could scream that you’re tired of being trapped in a life that you didn’t choose, but at the

end of the day you’ll still have to go home. Your mother is still in desperate need of your help. You couldn’t just walk away from your family, like your brother did. You know your brother didn’t leave to hurt you, but it didn’t dull the pain anymore.

“I’m okay Chan. Thank you for your offer though.”

“Come sit on the patio with me,” he says.

You aren’t sure why he wants you to go outside with him, but nod your head and follow him. He slides the glass door open that’s connected to the kitchen. You step outside and he closes the door behind you. The chilly night air feels nice against your skin as you take a seat in one of the two chairs that are sitting in front of a glass table. Chan sits next to you, placing his cup on the table. You look at the cup curious to know what he’s drinking. It’s rare that you ever see him drink. He’s the one who is always the designated driver or the one in charge of looking after your friends who tend to get a little too rambunctious when they drink.

“What are you drinking?” You ask.

“Water,” he lets out a soft chuckle. You can’t help but shake your head. It was rare you ever saw him eat or drink something that isn’t healthy.

“Did you have work today?” You attempt to make small talk with him to avoid talking about things that are too personal.

“Yeah I worked until five.”

Chan was one of the higher ups at a bank in the city. He tended to wear a suit for a living and work nine to five. He probably had his life the most together out of all your friends he followed the path he always planned on following. Your friends all had their lives together, but they all still liked to party and let loose. Sure Minho and Hyunjin were making good money working as dancers but their job wasn’t always super steady. Felix and Jeongin both worked for a tech company that just started up. Seungmin is a teacher. Jisung also worked as a publisher, and Changbin was working as sound technician at a record label. Literally all your friends have their lives more together than you. You dropped out of college to help at home, and you work a retail job barely getting by.

“Did you work today?” He asks.

You shake your head, “no I had to ask for the day off to see my dad.” You tense up just mentioning your dad. You don’t mean to, it’s just a force of habit.

“You didn’t want to come over tonight did you?” He asks as he brings his cup up to his lips. He takes a drink and watches you.

You weren’t sure if you should answer him honestly. Part of you wanted to stay home and take a shower and just attempt to push away the negative thoughts that seem to be eating away at you. You only came over to escape the trapped feeling of being at home.

“I need to get out of my house,” a heavy sigh passes your lips.

“Are you okay?” He reaches over and rests his warm hand on top of yours. There’s something comforting about his touch.

An almost sarcastic laugh passes your lips, “my grandma didn’t know who I was when I came home today.”

His eyes grow wide as he stares at you. He purses his lips together as he stares at you attempting to figure out what he should say to you. He knows that he can’t say sorry to hear that. He knows nobody fully understands what you’re going through. He only knows about your grandma because Felix told him one day. Felix was worried about you because he hadn’t heard from you in two days. In a panic Felix let him know about the stress you were under at home. Felix swore him to secrecy telling him that you couldn’t know that he knows. That you didn’t want everyone knowing about your problems.

“I know you’re probably tired of hearing this, but I’m really sorry you have to go through that. That must be heartbreaking to experience,” his hand remains on yours as his dark eyes stay on you.

Closing your eyes you push back your tears that are trying so hard to fall. You’ve had a rough day and you don’t want to cry, but the overwhelming weight of the world seems to be resting on your shoulders.

“It fucking sucks,” you shake your head.

“Well my offer still stands if you ever need to talk about it. I'm here for you. You also know that Felix and Jisung would go to the ends of the world for you.”

Felix constantly told you that he was there for you. You couldn’t even count the number of times Felix came over to your house and just laid in bed with you listening to you cry about your problems. Felix is your rock. He’s been there through hell and back holding your hand. Jisung would also be there for you if you would fully let him in. He knows details of your problems, but he’s not the one you call when you’re crying.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You need to know if he’s doing this just because he is pitying you.

“Because you’re a good person, and you don’t need to feel alone,” his thumb brushes across your skin in a calming motion.

“I don’t feel alone. I have Felix,” it was a lie. You felt lonely all the time. You couldn’t seem to fill the empty hole in your chest.

“You can have more people than just Felix that care about you. All seven of those guys in the house care about you. I even care about you. I can see that you’re hurting, and you can put on a fake smile and try to act happy in front of all of us, but you don’t have to. You’re allowed to be sad, and if someone or something is hurting you, you don’t have to turn off those emotions,” his voice is so calming as he speaks to you. He’s saying things to you that you’ve been needing to hear for a long time. Some of the things he’s saying Felix has said to you as well, but for some reason they just feel different coming from Chan.

“I don’t want to be fake happy anymore.” You wanted nothing more in the world to feel real happiness. You wanted that feeling of being a disappointment to fade away.

“Let more people in then.”

The air between you feels thick as you stare at each other. There’s something between you and you can’t seem to put your finger on it.

“What happens if I let you in?” You take a deep breath keeping your eyes locked on him.

“Then I’ll be there for you. I can be there for you just like Felix.”

“You’ll get tired of hearing about my problems.” You knew Felix was probably tired of listening to you cry.

“Believe me I won’t.”

Looking away from his intense gaze, you need to step away from this. This all feels too overwhelming. Chan removes his hand from the top of yours, noticing your change in demeanor.

“I need some water,” you quickly stand up.

He walks over and opens the sliding door holding it open for you. You walk inside heading straight to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. He stands in the kitchen watching you.

“I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you,” he walks closer to you.

“I had a weird day. This isn’t because of you,” you don’t want him to know that you were freaking over letting your walls down around him.

You stand there alone for a long moment. Seungmin walks in letting his presence be known singing a random song loudly. Your eyes snap over to your loud friend hoping he will relieve some of the tension that has formed between you and Chan.

Seungmin’s eyes bounce between the two of you, stopping right by both of you. “YN you’re so tense when was the last time you got laid?” Seungmin speaks, putting his hand on your shoulders and shaking you. Seungmin has never been the best at using the filter between his brain and his mouth. Your cheek burn with embarrassment as your eyes bounce between Seungmin and Chan. Chan is wearing an apologetic look while Seungmin looks all too proud that he’s embarrassed you.

“Seungmin you don’t get to ask me that,” you practically shout, feeling utterly embarrassed. You didn’t want to discuss your sex life with Seungmin of all people. He’s got by far the biggest mouth out of all your friends.

“It’s been awhile if you won’t answer,” he barks out a laugh and looks toward Chan who is blushing. “Chan you also look super tense. When was the last time you got laid?” Seungmin has realized that he can make both of you feel incredibly awkward with zero effort. One of Seungmin 's favorite pastimes is embarrassing his friends.

“Seungmin, knock it off,” Chan responded, completely deadpan.

“Maybe you two should have sex and you can both relax for once,” Seungmin smiles, stepping away from you.

“Well that was beyond awkward,” you respond.

“I mean maybe you two should bang. Maybe both of you could actually have fun for once,” was the last thing he said before walking out of the kitchen.

You’re left standing there with just Chan who seems to be having an issue with making eye contact with you. Pushing your lips together you look at him attempting to even figure out what exactly you should say. Seungmin wasn’t wrong about you probably need to have sex. You’d been so stressed you couldn’t even remember the last time you were intimate with someone. Hell the last time you kissed someone was Felix during a drunken game of truth or dare on his birthday. During that drunken mess of a night you were dared to either kiss him or Seungmin and Felix was the safe bet being your best friend.

Chan nervously scratches his neck and looks up at you finally.

“I take it’s been a while for you too?” He finally speaks.

Talking about sex has always made you feel slightly awkward. You’ve never been a person who would openly share details of your sex life.

“Yeah probably too long,” sighing as you lean against the counter across from Chan.

“If it makes you feel any better I’m in the same boat. It’s been a while.”

You aren’t sure what possessive you to say it but without thinking you say, “maybe Seungmin right, maybe I do need to have sex. I’ve been so stressed with everything.”

Chan cocks his eyebrow and stares at you looking caught off guard. He audibly swallows, not expecting you to agree with his younger friend. In the whole time he’s known you, Chan doesn’t think he’s ever heard you mention anything to do with sex. You had this air of innocence to you. He was well aware you weren’t a virgin, he’s heard you talk about your ex who strung you along off and on for six years. There was just something so innocent about you that the topic of sex made you blush and feel awkward.

“Who would you sleep with?” he’s not sure why he asks. He knows damn well it’s none of his business. He knows no matter who you say he’s not going to like the answer. He doesn’t like the idea of you sleeping with anyone.

Shrugging your shoulder you realize you don’t exactly have men lining up the block to have sex with you. You could try those dating apps people use to hook up, or maybe a friend. You trusted all the boys but you knew certain ones would complicate your life. Felix specifically was off limits, he’s your best friend and you couldn’t do anything to ruin that. Changbin crosses your mind for a small moment. He’s extremely handsome and charming and has even flirted with you before.

“I don’t know,” you finally respond.

As Chan watches you can tell you seem to have a million things going through your mind. He wants to offer up his services but he’s not exactly sure how you would take his offer. He couldn’t lie to himself, he's always been attracted to you, and he’s enjoyed getting to know you. He also appreciates that you seem to be letting your walls down around him.

“If I ask you something can you promise not to slap me?”

You nod not exactly sure what he could possibly ask you.

“Would you be willing to have sex with me?” His heart races as he stares at you trying his hardest to judge your reaction.

You look at him completely dumbfounded. You aren’t even sure if you heard him correctly. Bang Chan is one of the most handsome men you have ever laid eyes on. He’s also got the body of a Greek god, and he just asked if you would be willing to have sex with him. You blink a handful of times attempting to process his question.

“You want to have sex with me?” you blurt out.

He nods and gives you an innocent smile, “yeah.”

“Oh,” you stammer over that simple word. Your mind is still trying to process that Chan actually wants you.

He pushes himself off the counter and looks at you with a guilt ridden face, “you can totally say no. I’m sorry for making this weird.”

He looks cute and completely flustered. Reaching you rest your hand on his arm, “if you’re sure you want to. I would like to relieve some stress with you.”

“Oh,” he opened his mouth and stared at you, completely shocked that you agreed. He didn’t actually have a plan of action if you agreed. He thought for sure you were going to shut him down without even thinking twice.

“Did you want to do it tonight?” You felt so weird asking him if he wanted to leave to have sex. This whole situation was completely uncharted for you.

He nods and gives you an awkward smile, “yeah we can go to my place if you want.”

“Can we please head out now?” You want to leave as soon as you can. You know you should stay and talk to Felix some more, but he seems to be giving you space to talk to Chan.

“Yeah I can drive us.”

“Let me say goodbye to Felix.”

You walk off to the living room where you find your best friend talking to Jeongin. You tap his shoulder and he turns to face you.

“Chan is gonna take me home.” You decide to spare the details that you’re leaving with him to have sex. You know out of all your friends Felix won’t judge you, but he might be concerned about your feelings.

Leaning forward he pulls you into a tight hug and presses his lips to the top of your head before whispering that he’ll see you tomorrow.

You wave goodbye to the rest of the group before meeting Chan at the door. He holds the door open and as soon as it shuts behind him he ever so slowly reaches down, taking your hand in his. A spark goes across your skin as he holds your hand tight. He leads you down to the parking garage below the building and holds your door open as you slide inside. He gets in and starts the car. He turns the radio on to give you some background noise.

You drive in silent with nothing but the hum of the radio for five minutes before you break the silence between you.

You clear your throat catching his attention. He glances over at you and gives you a soft smile.

“So, I’ve never done anything like this. Like I’ve had sex outside of a relationship, but never with a friend,” you’re rambling but you really can’t help it.

“I haven’t either,” he reaches over resting his hand on your thigh.

“So we’re both nervous?” You look over at him trying to read his expression.

“Yeah I’m nervous too.” It’s reassuring to know he feels the same way you do.

Pulling into the parking garage. He shuts the car off and gives you a smile before getting out of the car. You take a deep breath before unbuckling your seatbelt. Hoping out of his car you find home waiting for you with your hand out. You lace your fingers with his without giving it a second thought.

Chan felt like a nervous teenager as he held your hand. This whole situation was something he’s never done before. He has a million thoughts going through his mind as he holds your hand leading you towards his apartment. He has one mission tonight, and that’s to make you forget your problems for a little while. He wants to make you feel good and to relieve all the stress that’s built up.

Entering his apartment he releases your hand as he gives you a minute to look around and take in your surroundings. You’ve only been to his place twice and both times you were with Felix and you weren’t there very long. His apartment is pretty large and has a minimalist aesthetic to it. You’ve heard Chan talk about how much he hates decorating. Stopping in his living room in front of his black leather couch. Chan follows you into the living room. Staring at you, he takes a deep breath. You’ve never done this before. You’ve never agreed to just have casual sex with a friend. You fidget with the bottom of your sweater. You’re not sure who is supposed to make the first move. How exactly was this supposed to work?

“We don’t have to do this,” he says awkwardly. He can’t tell how nervous you are.

“I want this. I haven’t had sex in too long and I feel like it will help relieve some stress.”

He steps closer to you. He hesitates for a moment before pushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “It’s been pretty long for me too.”

“You know you have girls always trying to get with you right?” You try not to laugh thinking about all the girls who attempt to flirt with him. You’ve seen too many girls attempt to get his attention when you go out with your friends.

Shrugging he says, “I don’t feel like having sex with random girls.”

You can’t seem to ignore the nervous feeling in your stomach that’s bubbling. Looking up at Chan you notice his cheeks are flushed slightly. He must be as nervous as you. This whole situation is so strange, never in your wildest dreams did you think you would be going over to Chan to have sex with him. The fact that Seungmin dumb comment about you needing to get laid led to you riding over to Chan apartment is crazy.

“How do we even start this?” you felt like an awkward teen about to lose your virginity.

“We could start by kissing,” he steps closer to you.

Nodding your head you agree that kissing would be a good place to start this. Maybe that would help calm your nerves.

He rests his hand on your cheek ever so gently and stares into your eyes. He licks his bottom lip before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. A warm feeling spread through your body as your lips moved together. One of his hands stayed on your cheek while the other gripped your hip holding you close. The whole time your lips moved together you couldn’t help but overthink everything. You were enjoying the feeling of his lips against yours, but you wondered if he was enjoying it too.

With his lips ghosting yours he whispers, “stop over thinking everything.”

Your eyes snap open and you step back from him. You stare at him with your mouth open, unsure of what to even say.

“Stop overthinking everything. Just let go and enjoy yourself. I’m going to make it my mission to force you to relax tonight,” he leans in to press his lips to your jaw. He places a trail of gentle nips across your skin.

“Okay.”

He presses his lips to yours again and you relax against his touch. His hands run up and down your sides as your lips dance. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him close to you. Opening your mouth he slides his tongue against yours.

He pulls away wearing a smile. His hands reach for the end of your sweater. He pauses while he waits for your consent. You nod your head silently.

He removes all your clothes leaving you naked in front of him. You stand there watching as he removes his own clothes.

His body is something to be admired. He has probably the best abs you’ve ever seen. Without even thinking you lean forward and run your fingers across his tone stomach. He watches you intently. He wants this whole night to be about helping you find a release. He wants you to enjoy yourself.

Silently he drops to his knees in front of you. His hands run up your thighs. He moves your thighs so he’s sitting between your legs. His eyes are locked on your already wet core. He’s managed to get you worked up with just the idea of what is going to happen and by the heated kiss you shared.

He runs two fingers through your folds as he presses a kiss to the top of your mound. You whimper in anticipation. His thumb brushes your clit for a moment before he moves his fingers to your entrance. He thrust his finger into your tight wall. His tongue laps at your clit as he pumps one finger inside you.

“You’re so tight,” he groans against your core. He dips another finger in you helping stretch you out. He curls his fingers inside you, touching just the right area. You tangle your fingers in his hair. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back, closing your eyes. You’re so close to finding your release.

“Chh… Chan I’m so… close,” you’re a complete whimpering mess.

He picks up his pace knowing you’re so close. He doesn’t stop until you find your release. The warm wave washes over you. You cry out his name loudly. He pulls away sitting on his hunches looking up at you with a proud smile.

“That was amazing,” you say with your chest rising and falling quickly.

He stands up and leans forward to kiss you. You taste yourself on your lips and you can’t lie it turns you on. Your eyes travel down his body to see that he’s already extremely hard and you haven’t even touched him.

“Let me get a condom.”

He jogs off to his bedroom and comes back rolling the rubber down his hardened length. He stops in front of you and leans in for another kiss. You wished that all those months ago you would have dared to kiss him. You can’t believe you’ve gone this far in your life never knowing the feel of Chan’s lips against yours.

“Can you bend over the back of the couch?” He pulls away asking.

You nod and look over at the leather couch. You follow his lead and walk over to the couch. Bending you over the couch he kissed down your spine. His hand grip your hips tightly. You take a deep breath and look over at your shoulder to see his lust filled eyes staring at you.

“Are you ready?” He grinds his hips against yours slowly.

“Yeah.”

He slides his length between your folds before pushing into you extremely slowly. His hands never leave your hips as he pushes his way in. The feeling of him stretching you is overwhelming. You grip the back of the couch as a gasp passes your lips. He stills is giving you time to adjust.

His chest is rising and falling as he tries to remain calm. “You’re really tight,'' he says with baited breath.

It’s probably been too long since you had sex and you know you need to relax more. “Spread your legs a little,” he puts his foot next to one of yours and gently nudges it. You silently follow his command. One of his hands leaves your hips and he slowly drags it down your spine. His touch feels like electricity running through your veins.

“Sweetheart just relax,” his voice is low and calming.

Taking a deep breath you try your hardest to relax. Sex is supposed to be fun. You aren’t supposed to stress about the problems in your life while probably the most handsome man you’ll ever meet is literally inside you. You nod your head and rest your face against the cool leather sofa.

His hand slowly rubs your back helping you relax. “Did you want to stop? I’m not going to be upset if you want to walk now or at any time during this.”

Lifting your head you look over your shoulder with a shocked look on your face. “I want this. I’m trying to stop overthinking everything,” you explained.

“Can I move?”

“Yes please.”

He leans forward kissing your shoulder before he pulls his hips back. Be pushed back into you, setting a slow pace. With each thrust he fills you completely. You can’t help the low whimpers that pass your lips with each roll of his hips.

The room is filled with the sounds of skin hitting skin, and his low moans, and your soft whimpers. His hands are back to gripping your hips. Everytime he thrust into you, he pushed away the thoughts of the outside world. You try your hardest to get lost in his touch. His pace picks up slowly. His grip on you never falters. Your name has never sounded as beautiful as it does being moaned by him. Dropping your face into the couch you moan his name.

He leans over your body, having one of his hands at your core. His fingers quickly find your swollen bundle of nerves. He brushes it quickly as he’s helping you chase your release.

“Chan,” you whine.

Wet kisses are being placed across the back of your neck. You can’t hold your eyes open, the feeling of the coil in your stomach tightens, almost becoming too much to handle.

He snaps his hips into yours over and over again. You aren’t exactly sure how long you’ve been pushed up against this couch, but you won’t complain. Nobody has ever made you feel the way Chan is. He seems to know exactly how your body ticks. His fingers don’t leave your clit as he whispers encouraging words into your ear.

“Sweetheart, you can go ahead and cum for me.”

You’ve never wanted to come so badly in your life. Pushing your hips up angling them just right Chan is hitting a new area that causes a loud gasp to pass your lips.

“Chan,” you whimper, reaching back for his hand. You need to hold on to him desperately as you’re so close to finding your release.

“I want to see you when you come, pretty,” he says, stalling in you.

Your eyes grow wide confused on why he’s stopped moving. He pulls out of you and reaches out for you. He picks you up and places you on the couch. Laying there on his couch you watch as he moves so he’s hovering over you. He settles between your legs and pushes into you.

“You’re so pretty. I want to see your pretty face when you cum,” his sweet words.

“Chan,” you whimper.

One hand grips his shoulder while the other tangles in his hair. His nose is resting on yours. His pretty lips are parted and low moans pass his lips.

“Kiss me,” you say. You desperately want to feel his lips on yours. His lips crashed against your. The kiss is sloppy and lust filled but you can’t seem to get enough.

Your legs wrap around his waist holding him close. His thrust have slowed as your lips move together.

“Just let go,” he says with his lips ghosting yours.

His command is all that it takes to push you over the edge. The warmth spreads throughout your body as your walls pull on him. You moan into his lips. Your body feels like a live wire. He rolls his hips into you over and over before finally finding his own release.

He stills with his chest rising and falling. He leans forward pressing his face into the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around his back holding him close as he lays on top of you for a moment. His body weight gives you a sense of comfort. Laying there with Chan in your arms this is the most relaxed you’ve felt in a long time.

He lifts himself up and looks down at you. He pushes away your hair that’s stuck to your face.

“Sorry if I was crushing you.”

A soft laugh passes your lips. He’s so sweet and even post sex he’s still so caring.

“You aren’t crushing me,” you reach up resting your hand on his strong jaw.

He pulls away from you and stands up. You can’t help but watch his naked body walk away to toss his used condom. He comes back to you not even seeming slightly embarrassed that he’s strutting around naked. That probably has to do with his beautiful body, and his amazing abs.

Sitting up you pull your legs into your chest feeling suddenly weird that you're just sitting on the couch completely naked. He sits down on the couch next to you and rests his hand on your knee. He smiles before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss. It was the exact opposit of the last lust fueled kiss you shared.

“You’re so pretty,” he rested his nose against yours.

“Chan, thank you.”

“Did you enjoy it,” you couldn’t believe that he was asking if you just enjoyed the best sex you’ve ever experienced.

You let out a little laugh and nod your head.

“Is it awkward if I ask you to stay the night? I don’t see this as a onel night stand type thing. I would like to spend more time with you.”

He’s a little nervous that you will say no. Chan wants to get to know you even more. He wants you to let your walls down around him. He also just wants your company.

“Are you sure you want me to stay?” You couldn’t believe he was asking you to stay.

“Yeah of course I want you to stay.”

Neither of you bother to put any clothes on. Chan takes your hand and leads you off to his room. His bedroom is somewhere you’ve never seen before. The walls are a bright white and he has a queen size bed under a window that looks out onto the city. He pulls his curtains closed not seeming to care that he’s naked. You crawl onto his bed and pull the blankets back. He lays down next to you and wastes no time pulling you close to his body. Your head rests on his chest as he holds you close. In all your life you had only slept in a man's bed a handful of times. All your ex boyfriends and flames never seemed to hold you like Chan is though.

“Did that help relieve some of your stress?” he asked softly.

“Yeah it did.”

Just being around Chan seems to relax you. This is the first time in the longest time you feel at ease. You aren’t worried about everything going on. You know tomorrow will be a stressful day when your mom asks about where you were overnight, but right now you don’t have to worry about that.

“Thank you for tonight.”

“I told you I want to be here for you, and I’ll be here for you mentally and physically,” his hand rubs your side. “I have tomorrow off. Did you maybe want to get lunch together and hang out?”

You literally spent the whole time you were at Felix’s together and then left with him to have sex. Chan seemed like he couldn’t get enough of you, and you can’t complain. It feels nice to finally be wanted.

“I’ll have to go home and change and check in with my mom, but yeah I’ll get lunch with you.”

A night spent in Chan’s arms is one of the best night's sleep you've gotten in a long time.

*

Bright morning light shining through the thin curtains woke you up. A yawn passes your lips as you stretch out your sore body. The bed feels cold next to you. You look over to see Chan isn’t in bed. A panicked feeling starts in your chest. Maybe this was a sign that he wanted you to leave. Hoping out of bed quickly you look around the room realizing you walked into his room naked. Looking on the dresser you see a pile of your clothes neatly folded. Chan must have gathered your clothes this morning. Walking towards the dresser you see the master bathroom door is shut with the light peaking out from the bottom. You aren’t sure if Chan is in there but you don’t want to find out. You quickly put your bra and underwear on. As you start pulling on your legging the bathroom door opens and Chan walks out a pair of boxer briefs while he runs a towel through his damp hair. The moment his eyes lock on you, you completely freeze like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Why do you look like you’re running away?” He asks, tossing his towel in the hamper next to the door.

“I thought you would want me to leave,” you say awkwardly.

“Why would I want you to leave?” Chan doesn’t understand what he did or said that could possibly make you think he wanted you to leave.

“I don’t know.”

“I planned on us grabbing lunch. I actually wanted to spend more time with you.” He wasn’t lying to you yesterday when he said he wanted to be there for you.

“Oh,” you’re caught off guard by him actually wanting to spend time with you.

He steps towards you stopping right in front of you. He places his hand right under your chin lifting it so you’re looking into his dark eyes. He licks his bottom lip before saying, “you can relax around me. You don’t have to try to act happy. Let your walls down and try to trust me.” He so desperately wants for you to trust him like you do Felix.

You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. You aren’t sure of what to say to him. Leaning down he presses his lips softly to your forehead.

“Did you maybe want some coffee before you run away from me?”

You nod your head silently.

Stepping away from you Chan reaches into his dresser and pulls out a pair of jeans and pulls them on. He doesn’t bother putting a shirt on. You take this time to pull back on your sweater so you aren’t standing around in your bra and a pair of leggings. He takes your hand ever so casually and leads you out into the kitchen. You can’t help but smile that he’s already made coffee.

Reaching into the cupboard he pulls out two coffee cups. He sits down on the counter in front of you. He walks over to the fridge pulling out a carton of cream. Handing it to you, you pour a little into your coffee before handing it back.

There is a comfortable silence between the two of you as you sip on your coffee. There’s something about being around Chan that’s comforting.

Holding his cup close to his chest he watches you carefully. You seem more at ease and it makes him happy.

“What do you want for lunch?” he asks.

“How does ramen sound?” you ask, knowing there are a million places near to get good ramen.

“Sounds good to me.”

After finishing your cup of coffee you follow Chan back to his room so he can get dressed. Sitting on his bed you scroll through your phone to see a text from your mom and one from Felix.

Your moms text read, “I’m assuming you stayed at Felix.”

While Felix read, “were you okay after last night?” Your best friend knows you well and could tell that you had a rough day.

You send him a quick message saying that you’re okay that talking to Chan helped a lot.

Chan stood in front of you in a sweater with his tight jeans and pair of vans. He smiled at you and you couldn’t help but smile back.

Once again he takes your hand leading you out of his apartment.

Standing in front of his motorcycle you’re at a loss for words. You were well aware he owned a motorcycle, but you hadn’t ever ridden on it. He holds his spare helmet out for you sporting a grin.

“I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle,” you say.

“Are you okay if we take this?” He’s unsure if this is a good idea. You seem so unsure staring at his motorcycle.

“Okay we can take this,” you reach out to take the helmet. He steps closer to you and helps up on your helmet and buckles it.

He gets on the motorcycle and reaches his hand out signaling for him to join him. Climbing on you wastes no time wrapping your arms around him. He starts the bike and heads out onto the main road. You hold on to him tightly.

There’s something about the way you hold him that makes his heart flutter a little. For the longest he wished he could gain your trust. He couldn’t help but be jealous of your friendship you shared with Felix. Sure you and Chan had always been friends, but you always had a wall up around him. You never fully let anyone in other than Felix.

Pulling up to your house, shut the motorcycle off and you quickly climb off.

“Did you want me to wait here?” Chan asks.

Your stomach twists at the idea of having to explain to your grandma who Chan is.

“Yes please if you don’t mind. My grandmother isn’t great with people she doesn’t know.”

“Okay that’s fine. I’ll be here, take your time,” he takes the helmet you had been wearing.

Rushing into the house you find your mom standing in the kitchen holding a cup of coffee.

“YN are you okay?” She asks, stopping you dead in your tracks.

“Yeah.”

She knits her eyebrows together, studying you, “why are you rushing.”

“My friend is taking me out to lunch,” you say.

“Who?” She’s being nosy like she normally is.

“Chan.”

Her eyebrow raises as she slowly smiles, “the handsome man that works at the bank?”

Of course your mom remembers Chan's job, and that he’s attractive.

“Yes.”

“Well have fun,” she smiles before taking another sip of her coffee.

Rushing off to your room you start stripping away your clothes. You toss your dirty clothes in your hamper before grabbing a pair of jeans and tugging them on. Reaching into your dresser you pull out a black and white sweater. Heading off to the bathroom you brush your teeth and wash your face.

You practically run out of the house attempting to avoid your mom. Walking outside you find Chan leaning against his motorcycle scrolling through his phone.

He looks up and smiles at you. Handing you a helmet you put it on and he helps you buckle it.

Crawling onto the back of the bike you wrap your arms around him holding your body close to his. He starts driving down the street and you suddenly feel so relaxed as you hold him. There’s something about him that is just so comforting to you.

Arriving at one of your favorite ramen places Chan turns off his bike and he helps you off. He takes your hand immediately. Chan knows you’re shy and a little more guarded, but he doesn’t give you a chance to put up a wall. He holds your hand like it’s the most natural thing in the whole world.

Walking up to the table he holds out your chair for you. This suddenly feels like a date and you get a nervous feeling in your stomach. You aren’t sure why you get so nervous at the thought of being on a date with Chan. He’s literally the most perfect man you’ve ever met, and you’ve already had sex with him. Yet you can’t seem to push away this nervous feeling.

“Why do you want to spend time with me?” you ask after ordering.

Tilting his head he knits his eyebrows together, “because I like spending time with you. I know it seems like it’s coming out of left field, but YN I like you.”

You can’t believe he just said he liked you. You blink rapidly and just stare at them. How do you even respond to him?

“You like me?”

A half smile forms on his lips, “you’re a beautiful girl, you’re kind, and you have an amazing heart.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not asking you to suddenly be my girlfriend. I want to spend time with you, I want to be your friend. I want to be someone you feel like you can trust enough to talk to about the things you’re going through,” reaching out he takes your hand in his. He rubs his thumb across the palm of your hand. His touch instantly relaxed you.

“Chan, I'm a mess. I’m not easy to be with. I feel bad Felix has to deal with me half the time.”

He squeezes your hand gently, “stop, I’m not asking you to give me anything here. I’ll just be your friend if anything, but I want you to know how I feel.”

Before you can say anything the waiter walks over and puts your bowls of ramen on the table in front of you.

Staring at the steaming bowl of soup you’re still trying to process everything Chan just said to you.

“Please say something,” he says.

“I want to get to know you more. I also want to spend more time with you.”

A large smile spreads across his face as he grabs a pair of chopsticks.

He spends the rest of lunch answering questions about himself. In the last twenty-four hours you’ve talked about yourself enough. You want to know more about the man who seems extremely interested in spending more time with you.

When the waiter brings over the check Chan hands him this card without even looking at the check. You tell him thank you. You didn’t expect him to pay for you.

Arriving at your house you hop off the bike, and before you can walk away Chan reaches out and grabs your wrist. He turns you so you're facing him. He raises his eyebrow and tugs you closer to him.

“I’m serious about wanting to spend time with you,” he knows he is putting himself on the line right now, but he knows he needs to. “Please give me a shot here. Let me be there for you.”

“Okay,” you say softly.

He leans in close to you and presses his lips to your cheek for a soft kiss. You can help but smile as he pulls away.

“I’ll text you.”

He rides off and you’re left with your head feeling as if it’s swimming. The overwhelming feeling that he’s interested in you makes your head spin. You aren’t sure why anyone as perfect as him could be interested in you.

Everything’s a blur as you walk into your room you lay down staring at the ceiling. Chan sweet words play over and over in your ears. Closing your eyes you could picture his soft smile.

You aren’t sure how long you were laying there when your door opened. Looking at the door you find Felix standing in your room.

Throwing himself onto your queen size bed you can’t help but smile at Felix. His eyes are narrowed in on you.

“So what’s going on with Chan?” He didn’t bother asking anything else. He just jumped straight to the point.

Glancing at him from the corners of your eyes you find him staring at you.

“Nothing,” you lied. There was clearing something going on with Chan, but you just weren’t exactly sure.

“Then why didn’t you come home last night?” He smirks at you. It’s extremely clear he knows you were with Chan.

“Lee Felix, what do you know?” Sitting up quickly you grab a pillow holding it on your lap.

“Well your mother asked me when I walked in how our sleepover was. Like we’re teenagers again.”

Your eyes grow wide at the fact your mother asked Felix about you staying over.

“Please tell me you lied to her.”

He reaches up grabbing the pillow from your lap, “of course I lied.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you stay at Chan last night?”

Biting your lip you contemplate lying. You don’t want him asking details about what happened, but you can’t lie to him.

“Yeah I stayed with him.”

“What happened there?” he sits up.

“Lix,” a heavy sigh passes your lips. You know you can’t hide the details from him anymore.

“Just tell me. I’m not gonna judge you,” he’s sitting on your bed with his legs crossed.

“We had sex,” you sigh.

“I knew it,” he almost shouts.

Shaking your head you try to push away your embarrassment. You never shared anything about your sex life.

“How did that even happen?” Felix knew that you were friends, but he didn’t know that you were nearly close enough with Chan to have sex with him.

“We spent the whole night just talking and stupid Seungmin made comments about us needing to get laid and somehow it got us having sex to relieve some stress,” you ramble on quickly.

He stares at you blinking and processes your statement. A smile tugs on his lips. Felix knows that Chan is a good guy and he won’t do anything to hurt you.

“Please say something,” you say softly, pulling your legs into your chest.

“I think you should give Chan a chance. He’s not gonna hurt you.”

“I’m a mess,” your eyes start to tear up.

“Give him a chance,” he puts his hand on your knee and looks into your eyes.

“I’ll try,” you say softly.

You spend the rest of the afternoon laying on your bed with your best friend. You move away from the subject of Chan which you’re thankful for. Eventually Felix convinces you to watch a movie with him. Your mom peaks her head asking Felix to stay for dinner. Your mother has loved Felix from the moment you met. Anytime Felix comes over to your mom to ask him to stay for dinner. Your grandmother also seems to love him. Even though she can’t always remember his name. She does remember she loves him. He always sits on the couch and will talk to her and tell her cute jokes. There’s a reason you’ve let your walls down around Felix. He’s just always seemed to be there by your side. You hope soon you can let your walls down around Chan as well.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[louloulemons-posts]

Secret Kisses

Steve Harrington X Fem!Henderson!Reader

Summary : You and Steve are secretly dating, here are 3 times you were almost caught and the 1 time you were.

Word Count : 1.2k

Warnings : Not proofread, 3am writing, swears, pet names, FLUFFY, kisses, suggestive at parts, fem reader, no use of Y/N, Steve and reader just want to make out lol.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- First time : Driving you home and nobody’s in

You’d been hanging out at Eddies trailer, watching some horror movies and smoking a bit with your friends.

Giving the metal head a hug and waving goodbye Steve drove you and Robin home.

“See you guy’s tomorrow,” she said, kissing your cheek from the backseat and climbing out.

“Let’s get you home,” Steve smiled, taking your hand in his. “Thank you for driving me.”

“Couldn’t leave my girl stranded could I? Or worse, Eddie could’ve drove you home in his death trap!”

“Eddie can drive,” you laughed.

“Sure, doesn’t mean the vans safe.”

“You worry too much,” you sighed, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

“Just want you to be safe.” The drive was quick and quiet, one of your favourite tapes of Steve’s playing. Steve pulled up to your house, no lights on inside.

“Tonight was fun,” you spoke, smiling.

“It was, we do need a proper date night though. Maybe the movies?” he asked.

“That sounds good, I’ll trust your taste in movies.” He leaned over the console to kiss you, leaning in softly.

You lips almost touched when you heard a foggy voice, “Are you coming in or not?” Dustin.

Pulling away from Steve you sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Y-yeah, goodnight.”

“Night,” you smiled, climbing out the car and headed over to your brother.

“Have you been smoking?!” he exclaimed.

“Shut up!” you slammed your hand over his mouth, shoving him in the house. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” Waving at Steve before heading in yourself.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- Second time : Movie dates, sat in the dark, perfect right?

Sat in the movie theatre side by side, fingers linked, waiting for the lights to dim. You’d decided to see The Breakfast Club, after Nancy had said it was really good.

“You’re going to run out of popcorn and the movie hasn’t even started yet,” you chuckled at Steve. “It’s good!” he defended.

“Lies, but either way you’ll be grumpy 15 minutes in because you have nothing to snack on.”

“That’s why I got you snacks my love.”

“What so you can steal them?”

“Exactly that.”

“And what if I said no?”

“Well I’m sure I could persuade you..”

“Oh yeah?” He leaned closer to you, lips touching, “Yeah.” He softly pressed his lips to yours when familiar voices came.

“Okay so G6 and G7 El,” Max Mayfield spoke. “Shit,” Steve whined. The seats right in front of you. “Shit,” you repeated.

Walking down to their seats El spotted you, smiling, “Hi guys!”

“Hey,” you smiled back, nudging Steve.

“Hi,” he let out a pained grin.

“Just you two?” Max asked.

“Oh yeah, had to drag Steve with me. Nobody else would come with,” you shrugged.

“Hm, seems like Robins type of film. Eddie thought … not so much,” the redhead hummed. “Yeah exactly.”

“Should have come with us,” El said softly.

“If I’d have know you wanted to see it I would’ve, could’ve made a girls night out of it,” you smiled at her. Always having had a special place in your heart for that girl.

The lights dimmed, “Well we’ll see you after the movie,” Steve said. The pair sat down facing forward. “Guess we can’t make out now,” he sighed.

“You’re literally a horny teen.”

“Well I’m a teen and you’re hot so … I’m always horny.”

“Shush,” you laughed, punching him lightly.

“Maybe you can stay at my place?”

“Hm, if you’re lucky.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- Third time : Lunch breaks aren’t easy either.

It was Steve’s lunch break, just him on today as it was a slow Monday. He shut the door and turned the sign to close, smiling at you who’d brought him food.

Pushing you into the back room, hands on your waist, your own tangling in his hair. Lipgloss transferring onto his own lips, “Stevie,” you giggled into his mouth.

“Missed you … so much,” he spoke between kisses. “Saw me yesterday.”

“Not enough!” Pulling you as close as he could, your legs wrapped around his waist and he lifted you into a filing cabinet.

“So. Fucking. Perfect,” he kissed and kissed and kissed. His hands played with the bottom of your skirt, pulling away. Lips swollen and hair messy.

“We’ve got 20 minutes Stevie.”

“That’s plenty of time to do what I need to do to you,” he smirked, lowering himself.

The bell on the door jingled, “Steve!”

“I’m gonna kill your brother.”

“Oh I’ll help.” Tidying himself up he left the back room, you jumping down from the cabinet.

“Henderson, thought you were smart enough to know what the word closed means.”

“Ha you’re real funny. I was just wondering if you’ve seen my sister?”

Steve’s heart went to his throat and you panicked trying to keep your breathing quiet. “Nope, why?”

“Well I saw her car outside and I thought maybe we could head home together,” he explained, “She might be getting some groceries though.”

“Mhm, maybe. If she stops by I’ll tell her you’re looking for her.”

“Great, thanks man.” You heard the bell ring again, signalling his exit.

Walking out of the back room you sighed. “Your brothers looking for you,” he teased.

“Oh you don’t say?” Kissing the boys cheek, “I should probably go.”

He whined, “Steve if he catches us-“

“I know I know. Okay go, but next time something like that happens I’m not stopping.”

“I’ll take your word for that.” Pecking his mouth you headed out the door to find you shit head of a brother.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- The time you’re found out

You heard soft knock on your window. Not wanting to turn the light on in fear your headache would get worse, you walked over.

Pulling back the curtains, you saw a familiar face. You pulled up the window and stepped back, “What are you doing here?” you asked.

Steve climbed in (fell in) to your room, “Robin told me you weren’t very well, couldn’t really call cause you know,” he motioned to the door.

“Thought I’d come check on my girl, brought you some gatorade and snacks.”

“You, Steve Harrington, are the sweetest boy I’ve ever met.” Pecking his nose, you walked back to your bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Migraine.”

“Oh baby I’m sorry. Have you taken anything?”

“Took some more tablets not too long ago, they should kick in soon.”

He sat down next to you, stoking hair gently. “Do you want me to go, leave you in peace?”

“Could you stay?”

“Course. No place I’d rather be.”

Taking off his shoes, jacket and jeans he climbed in beside you. “Come lay on me baby,” he whispered. Resting your head on his chest, you hummed, his warmth was so nice.

Running his fingers up and down your back you were quickly lulled to sleep.

Stirring awake to a knocking sound, “Yeah?” you said voice croaking, thick with sleep. Steve also woke up, giving you a sleepy smile.

“Mom said do you want breakfast, she’s made waffles,” Dustin spoke.

“Oh yeah sure, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Does Steve want any?” He asked through the door.

You looked at the boy, both of you wide eyed. “Hello? Does he want any?” your brother repeated.

“Oh um sure if she’s got any spare,” Steve said. Hearing you brother grumble as he walked away, you put your head back on his chest.

“Well he knows.”

“Yeah.”

“I can do this now then,” Steve smirked, kissing you square on the mouth.

“Hm, yes Mr Harrington you can.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : I wanted to do some fics with other characters soon, they don’t have to just be Stranger Things characters, I’m part of many many fandoms. So if there’s any other characters you’d like to see, let me know! 🤍

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[lover-of-mine]

I've been thinking while chilling in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland, but specifically what it would take to give Buck the most satisfying love story possible. Because Buck was written as the love interest. His purpose in season 1 is to give something to the main character. And ever since, he's been there to provide something to his love interests even though he's the main character now, he gave Ali a place to stay, he gave Taylor professional advancement (and this one is made worse by her book), he gave Natalia inside information on death, so he's constantly providing things without getting anything substantial in return, much like with Abby and the way that he was just a device to make her feel better about her life. And the main thing here is that Buck is being pursued in order to offer something. He's never the one to go after them, he's the one being chased in a sense, Abby calls him, Ali calls him, Taylor kisses him, Natalia asks him out, Tommy kisses him, so these people want something from him and they take it, most of the time without giving him something in return, Abby forces him to get closure by himself, Ali leaves him because she can't handle the job, where do I even begin with Taylor. So if you think about it, considering the initial way Buck was written, and the way they expanded this to the point that he was literally born to offer something to someone who provided him with nothing (in this case his parents), or the way Maddie shows up because she needs the safety he could provide (I'm not saying Maddie doesn't provide him with anything, I know she does so much for him, but she did show up because she needed a place to hide) his main love interest needs to be someone who's not asking him for stuff. And that's been Eddie since he was introduced. Under Pressure is about Buck choosing Eddie. Eddie tries, but when he realizes Buck is serious about not liking him, he validates Buck's feelings, granted in his sassy way of his, and backs off until he has a chance to give Buck the choice to let him in. You can have my back any day. The phrasing of this is great for the whole Eddie trusts Buck to take care of him, he's not saying he will take care of Buck, he's giving Buck the option of taking care of him. But the thing there is that he puts the choice in Buck's hands. Buck could've walked away. Even Buck's reactions to the way Eddie says it shows a moment where Buck is considering before offering the or you can have mine. The metaphor surrounding the rescue in this context is interesting because while Eddie is choosing Buck right there, he's not forcing Buck to step in. Much like the ambulance, Eddie is offering himself, but he's not forcing anyone to go into the ambulance and risk getting blown up with him. Buck needs to volunteer. And he does.

I know the fandom loves to say Eddie baby trapped Buck, but Buck was the one who took one look at Eddie and said I'm stepping in with you whether you like it or not. Eddie never demanded anything from Buck beyond for Buck to be himself. He never asked for help with Chris, Buck chose to talk to Bobby to clear him being at the station, Buck chose to trick Eddie to offer him help in the form of Carla. Sure, when it's convenient for the plot, Eddie will just decide on things, but like, even the lawsuit of it all, when Eddie is inserting himself into the conflict, Buck is ready to be forced to provide Eddie with something to be forgiven "so whatever it takes for you to forgive me" but Eddie is instantly "I forgive you" because he doesn't need for Buck to prove himself. Over and over again, the show puts Eddie in a position that shows that he just loves Buck. No matter what. He never asked Buck to provide him with something. I think even the will and the way Eddie hides it plays into this. He doesn't want to ask for Buck to do this. Eddie knows Buck will do it, he knows how much Buck loves Chris, but the will reveal is not really about Eddie asking Buck to do something for him, taking care of Chris if he can't because the episode already showed Buck doing that without knowing that was what Eddie wanted, but to give Buck that shock that he does have something to live for, that he matters, that someone loves him. Eddie exists as the person that allows Buck to make his own decisions. He does push back when he thinks Buck needs that push but he doesn't make the choice for him. Even if Buck ever decides to walk away from him, he'll let him if that's what Buck really wants, because ultimately it will be Buck's choice and he respects that. And ultimately, with the archetype they had in mind when they created Buck, that is what Buck needs for him to be in the most satisfying romantic relationship narratively. Buck needs someone who loved him before they were in love with him. And that is the work they have been putting towards buddie since Eddie was introduced. And that's also why Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship. It's never gonna feel right until Buck chooses to do something about it because everything about him is about someone else making the choice.

[cupidscrule]

BUNNY TRAP

Stepdad!Leon X Fem!Reader

Cw - p in v, daughter chasing after dad, stepcest, noncon(?) Unprotected

WRD- 1.5k

You always knew your dad was hot, total babe back in the 2000's ever since you were a kid your friends always gushed over him, and it was fair, always thought it was gross though. Like he's YOUR dad, stepdad yeah but he still raised you, sure he had a cute face, big arms, his pornstar tits were an add on. But he was Dad, nothin' more, But fuck the way he cups your cheek when your sad, hugs you, gives you that awkward Dad kiss. Just makes you yearn for him, which is wrong you know it's wrong but it's like that itch.

Your friends are always tellin' you how lucky you are, not only is Dad hot, he's nice y'know? Real good dad, picks you up everyday, gets you real nice things. Best guy honestly can see why Mom picked him!

"Hi kiddo, you wanted to check out that new place-?" Dad said opening your bedroom door, stupid fucken smile on his dumb hot face

'bury your face in my tits'

"Oh no -! It's okay- really I'm real tired"

'fuck me till I can't breathe'

"Huh- alright, come down soon dinners gonna be ready, and sorry Moms not home yet she said she'd be here in a few weeks 'k?"

'i wanna scream your name'

"Oh it's alright, and of course dad!"

With that he left, shutting the door halfway, dick move but it probably wasn't on purpose, the smell of his colone in the room, only imagining Dad stuff you up. God your disgusting, this is dad. Fourth something year old DAD, since when did you have these thoughts about him, as a kid sure you always thought he was cute 'ohhb I would totally date someone as big and strong as my Daddy!'

But it was LIKE, not actually him. But you can't stop thinkin' about him, wanting Dad to shove your face in the mattress pull on your hair, do the shit they do in pornos. Nasty thoughts, feeling gross and hot imagining all the shit you wanna do with the poor guy, as he just stood there not knowin' thinking your his innocent little daughter who could do no wrong! Oh no she would never have sex before marriage! Oh no my little girl doesn't even cuss!

Yeah right Dad, mhm. Actin' like in middle school my friends weren't blushing over you, whenever you walked in.

Fucken idiot, your little girls not pure, she's not good. She ain't innocent, hell she fantasizes about fucken you every day. It doesn't matter, nothings ever gonna come of this right? Just walk downstairs, eat dinner with dad and go back in your room and sleep it off.

"Sweetiee you finnaly came, how was your day?" Dad says sitting across from you, he didn't even cook. Fucken liar this was clearly some bullshit from a 4 star restaurant he just put on a plate. "Oh it's fine, nothin' much." You say staring at the table, trying to distract yourself from him, how he smells, how he sits, how he opens his mouth, the way he moves his bangs out of his dumb face, his breath. The intoxicating feeling of just bein' near him now.

"Are you okay?"

"Why'd you ask that? You know I'm always fine-" you say in response, playing with your fingers, avoiding his gaze. God feels like a crush in primary school, messin' up words and giggling to your friends about the fastest guy. "You just don't seem like yourselfer Hun, you can always talk to me you know that?" He says, feeling his eyes on you, not in a creepy way more an endearing way which somehow made your entire situation worse. "yeah- I know, don't worry it's fine!" You mumble, lookin' up at him, god he really was dreamy, just wanting him to- NO no more fantasy's.

You finish up, so does he. He just gives you that concerned Dad look before you get up and run back up the stairs like a bitch and lock yourself in your room, typing into Google

'how to stop liking your dad'

'is it normal to have a crush on your dad'

'is it illegal to fuck your step dad'

Jesus Christ your search history, just laying on your side in your bed. Thighs squeezed together tryna' stop thinking about dad, you've seen him shirtless before. Yeah you felt a little hot in your core before, anytime he hugged you you felt so- just so warm. Not the lovey Awee dad and daughter warm, more like if your boyfriend hugged you nice and tight! Feels good, feels warm and fuzzy, pit in your stomach that can only be filled by one thing.

Tossin' and turnin' it's only 6:00pm shit, Dad's still downstairs probobly watching some old movie, he really likes thoughs for some reason, and westerns it's kinda creepy but your the one who wants to fuck him so you really can't be judging. your thoughts are too much to bare, a girl can only last so long on the edge, panties soaked thinking about shit, and hell when you can actually recreate what you want, Nothing's stopping you. Other then ethics but who even cares anymore, walking downstairs to Dear ol' Daddy, bingo.

"Mm- Dad-? Can I talk to you?" You mutter walking up behind the sofa he's laying in, playing with your fingers, how do even address this like,

'Oh yeah dad! Can you just bend your daughter over and fuck her till she's blubbering nonsense, you raised her since she was seven but y'know !!'

No.

"Hm, yeah of course, what's the problem bunny?" He says sitting up, glancing behind him to your miserable face, little frown on your lips. He raises a brow seeing your face, you felt all fuzzy feeling your throat get dry, the hell were you supposed to do?

"Uh Dad, can- can you come upstairs" you mutter looking at him, feeling your chest get heavy. Of course dear Daddy doesn't wanna disappoint you so he gets up and walks over to ya

"What's wrong, Hun?" He says, so sweetly fuck. Looken' all concerned for you, just fall into his chest, even though Dad was in shape he had fatass boobs, real nice to put your face in whenever he hugged ya. Just like always as a concerted Daddy does he puts an arm around you, pulling you nice and tight, "Baby?" He says in that same voice, pullin' your face away from his body, looking down at you.

"Can- can we just sit down" you say grabbing his hand forcefully and leading him to the nice leather sofa, you didn't know much about Mom but she really liked expensive shit and this was the only thing at home she bought..

You push him onto his back, his head resting on the arm, he looked kinda confused, like a puppy! You crawl over on top on him, ass rested on his lower pelvis. "Hey Bunny this is a little- whats wrong?" Dad says trying to carefully lift you off of him, awe stupid Daddy actin' like you're just gonna listen to him

"Dad just let me do this- please, you love me right?" You say looking at him in the eyes, pout on your stupid lips, he just nods slowly as a response. Unzippin' his jeans, wow this really is a shitty porno plot.

'Cute stepdaughter seduces and fucks her Dad while Mom isn't home!'

Jesus Christ you fucking creep.

With his pants open pulling out is fat cock, he wasn't hard which kinda hurt, you were being all cute and all dad did was just sit and stare in shock. Like sure you were gropen him and stuff but he could put some effort in it? Whatever doesn't matter-? You sit on his thighs pulling off your night pants, your panties were already wet from earlier, sadly it seemed Dad didn't really wanna reinact your fantasy so you gotta do all the work, flicking your garments to the side, crawling back onto him. Placing your hips over his Dick, and taking it in, feeling his tip touch your cervix "Mm- fuck-" you murmer, taking a second before getting used to it, slowly moving your hips back and forth, feeling ever little movement. It was euphoric, hands on his chest, looking at his face he looked like he was trying to not enjoy it, but you could tell he was. You felt his breath get heavier anytime you went faster, such a good boy.

His fat dick bruising your womb, your walls squeezing against him, you could hear Dad muttering curse words under his breath, made you feel kinda better about this whole thing. Going to your high and getting that numbing feeling, stomach felt warm, brain all fuzzy and messy collapsing onto him, feeling that warm stuff leaking out of you, pulling yourself off Dad, laying on his chest, glancing up at him, seeing his flushed and disturbed face, awe it was so cute!

He probably felt horrible but you felt amazing, fuck best experience. Putting your arms aside his

"I love you Dad.." you spout into his shirt

"Your Mother can't hear about this B-bunny.." he replies, putting one of arms on your back, you could feel his chest go up and down so cute.

[peachesofteal]

I love me some angst and this baby trapped au is sustaining me!! But I gotta ask… what happens if darling just haves the baby then up and leaves in the middle of night?? Leaving Simon and Johnny to raise this baby they forced on her?? Or even worse (and forgive me for this) she dies in childbirth and then they finally have their baby but no darling…. They’re probably having some regrets about lying to her lol

This au has invaded my life and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m hooked ❤️🪝

SEEK HELP. But don't, because I love you. And this.

Baby trap au / Darling left after discovering her tampered birth control 18+ Mature themes. Character death. Childbirth. Hurt absolutely no comfort.

It starts with the twinge in the lower part of your belly, off to the left side. You had woken up with it, on top of your usual sore back and stiff muscles, the everyday occurrences that seemed plague you consistently since the start of your third trimester. You were always hot, always tired, always crampy, grumpy, and generally... miserable.

You didn't mean to be, but being pregnant was a hardship in so many ways, and being pregnant with no one to help you, was even harder. It took its toll. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. And now, by the ninth month... you were just so ready to be done with it.

You hadn't seen or talked to the guys since the day you walked out, the day you found that fucked up piece of foil, the day you realized what they did, and you left. You hated them for it. Hated them, for taking away your choice. Hated them, for trying to control your body. Hated them, for removing your autonomy.

At night, when you laid down to sleep, it was impossible not to feel other things, the longing, the loneliness, the love, that still lived in your heart for them, against all odds, the ache of missing them growing in your soul as your baby grew each month.

You were in an impossible situation. One you didn't know what do with it.

But today, you were preoccupied with the twinge. The twinge, that had bloomed into a full spasm of muscles across your belly, the twinge that had your boss insisting you go to hospital as soon as possible.

"Let us call an ambulance. I've had four kids! I know labor when I see it." She had hemmed and hawed while you told her it wasn't necessary, that you weren't even in active labor yet, and that you still felt totally okay.

"I'm fine." you had reassured her. "Walking is good for labor right? I'm just going to walk the three blocks and be fine."

Six hours later, you're in a bed with your legs in a pair of stirrups with a nurse by your side, holding your hand as your contractions get closer and closer, your body seizing and cramping with pain through each one, the sting getting worse and worse as the minutes tick on.

You're doing this. You're having a baby. Alone.

The realization shocks you, startles you into a moment of weird, zen like reflection, like everything is moving in slow motion around you, like nothing is progressing as you think about the fact that the guys aren't actually here, that you never did call them, that you never did tell them that you wanted to forgive them one day. That you wanted to talk to them. See them again.

That you wanted them to be here with you, for this, to see the birth of their daughter.

Another contraction rips through you and steals your breath, and you faintly hear the nurse telling you breathe while your body locks up in unmeasurable pain. Something prods between you legs, and then there's a voice saying you're fully dilated, and ready to push.

Ready? Now?

No. No... you can't. It's too fast. They're not here. They need to be here. You have to call them.

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry." The nurse speaks softly to you, but you can't help it. You want them. They were supposed to be here. They were supposed to be ones holding your hand, helping you, cutting the cord.

"We're going to push on the next contraction, okay?" Your doctor tells you, but you shake your head vehemently.

"No. I want my partners." you sob, and your nurse makes a sympathetic noise, while stroking some hair out of your face.

"You have to push." The nurse encourages, and pain streaks across your belly, sharp and insistent, forcing you to gasp for more air. "Ready? Push!" She tries to coach you, but you can't do it, can't even move, your body just writhing through the pain as your head spins and you pant. Your doctor says your name, kindly but somewhat stern after the contraction passes, and you moan.

"This baby is coming. You have to push." She says, and you know she's right, but you just can't get there in your mind, unable to consider the idea of her being born without Johnny or Simon being here.

"I want them." you sob, another spasm ripping through your body, forcing you to curl forward with an anguished shout. The nurse blots a cool, damp cloth against your head, while someone else on your other side adjusts your bed. There are people everywhere, all moving around in flurry, except for the doctor who's settling between your legs, eyes locking onto yours above your mask.

"There's no time dear." She says, and when you look up into your nurse's face, she seems sincere, encouraging and sweet, but you don't care. You want Johnny. You want Simon.

"P-please." You moan. "My phone- the passcode is 6669." The numbers come as a grunt when another contraction pulses through you. It's awful, burning, biting pain that shreds your belly, the muscles in your thighs, your back, everywhere, and you scream through it, while the two nurses on either side of you fold your legs back and the doctor coaches you to push.

"I can't!" You really can't. You can't do this without them. You don't even care about what they did anymore. You don't want to do this without them. They have to be here. "I can't, I ca-can't. Please, call Johnny. Or, or Simon." You pant, and eye the nervous looking aide that stands behind one of the nurses. "Call them!" You shout, and your sweet nurse gives him a nod, urging him into action as he fumbles with your phone and steps outside.

"Okay sweetheart. We're calling them, okay? But you have to push. Your body is ready." You shake your head, but you know she's right. You can feel your body bearing down, your muscles working inside of you, everything aligning so that you can have this baby.

It fills you with fear. Dread overcomes you, and when you feel the next contraction coming on, you begin to hyperventilate.

You can't have their baby without them.

"No... nonono-" You protest, like you're telling yourself, your own body, not to do what it was meant to do. It's useless however, because as your contraction peaks, your doctor is counting, and you can't help but push the way your body wants to, screaming your pain as loud as you can.

"Good job." She encourages once it passes, her eyes checking a tablet that's held in front of her face quickly, before returning her gaze back to you. "Okay, next one you're going to push for the full ten seconds okay? You can do it."

"I don't want to." You protest with a cry, and your nurse pats your hand sympathetically.

"I know, I know." She helps shift you forward, and then the next one is coming, and you feel like you're being torn apart, like your body is burning and being ripped in two as you push.

"I can see the head, you're almost there." Someone says, but you're not sure who it is, or if you care, your focus moving to one sole thing now, getting this baby out of your body as fast as you can. You breathe for maybe five seconds before the next wave begins, and then you're dropping your chin to your chest while you push with everything you have, voices in the room rising and falling, everything feeling too loud and too overwhelming, and then all of the sudden, there's a shifting inside of you, and then suddenly an overwhelming emptiness before-

a screaming, crying, shrieking baby is plopped onto your chest.

"There she is!" Your nurse calls, and you stare, slack jawed, unable to speak, unable to move while they cover her with a blanket and someone continues to work between your legs. "Congratulations mum!" The baby cries, and you lift a hand to cradle her closer while someone wipes around the top of her head.

"Hi, Bee... I'm your mom." you cry, and lower your lips to her head, placing a soft kiss on her skin while someone rubs her down. She cries, lungs healthy and full of power, and you laugh a little.

"Did you get a hold of them?" You ask him breathlessly, and he nods with a gulp.

"They're on their way." They're on their way. The words slam against your heart, and the feeling of relief is immense. They're coming. They're going to be here.

"Thank you." You hardly look at him, keeping your eyes on Bee, and her little angel face, perfect in every way.

The next few minutes pass in a blur. The doctor works on you, pressing on your stomach a few times in an awful way that hurts but is necessary, and then your bed is moved to a better position for sitting up. Bee is removed from your chest for measurements and a quick clean up, before she's placed back in your arms, freshly swaddled and soothed. You're mesmerized by her nose, her eyelashes, her tiny fingers that wrap around one of yours. Your baby, your daughter. The one you carried for nine months, the one that you went through so much heartache for, the one that you struggled so much for, was finally here. You wish they were here already, to see her, to see how precious she is, how amazing, and you sniffle through some tears when you realize you'll get to see the looks on both their faces when they see her for the first time, when they hold her.

You lift your hand to stroke the softness of her cheek, and frown, when it doesn't really cooperate... the limb feeling heavy and stiff, like it's not even really on your body. That's... weird. You try again, and again, with no success, and then you realize the room is kind of shifting, kind of spinning slightly, like you're dizzy.

"Uh-" You call out to the nurse who's on a laptop at the desk, her back partially turned towards you, and she glances over with a smile that quickly changes to a firm line when she rushes over. "I feel funny." You tell her, and she nods, the mechanics of the bed whirring while you're lowered completely flat. Bee cries, disrupted by the movement, and you want to shush her, soothe her, but the words don't come, and everything is very loud all of the sudden, bells, whistles, beeps and alarms going off at a frantic pace overtop the voices that have quickly filled the room.

"-ake the baby."

"too much-"

"hemmorage-"

The words come in clips, and your vision becomes filled with white dots as Bee is lifted off your chest, the arm that held her close to your body falling limply to your side. What's happening? You want to ask, want to scream it at them. Where are you taking her? She's crying in the nurse's arms, her distressed little face the last thing you see before your vision goes completely black, and you fade away.

"Drive fucking faster." Johnny shouts, and Simon squeezes his knee to try to calm him as best he can in this moment, even though the two of them are the farthest thing from being calm.

You were in labor, and you had actually called them. Simon's heart had soared when he answered the phone, telling the guy on the phone to tell you that they were on their way, that they'd be there soon while he and Johnny sprinted to the car. You had called them. You wanted them there.

"Tell her we love her!" He had huffed while fumbling with the keys. "We love her so much. We'll be there soon."

"Settle, Johnny." He's trying to keep Johnny calm, trying to keep himself calm, while also trying to drive as fast as possible to get to you.

"Aye, 'm sorry. I'm just... I can't wait to see her. I can't believe she called." Simon can't either. He can't believe that after eight months of being apart, eight months of wondering if they'd even ever see you again, it was them you were calling for when you needed someone, them that you wanted by your side.

It felt like a gift. It felt like a second chance.

"I hope she's okay." Johnny hedges, nervous tinge to his voice and Simon rubs his thigh to try to soothe him.

"I'm sure she's fine, babies are born all the time, yeah?"

"Yeah."

They rush the desk when they get there, both spitting out your name and the woman jerks backwards before adjusting, typing onto her keyboard to locate your record. A full minute passes, while the receptionist's brow furrows, and they both nearly explode.

"She should be here, we got a phone call." Johnny blurts.

"Should be in labor and delivery." Simon tries to provide, helpfully and they both stand there anxiously, while she taps away.

"Ah! Sorry, there she is. I've paged the L&D department, and someone will be down shortly. You can wait in those seats over there." She points to some arm chairs, and they both ignore the suggestion, opting to stand right in front of a set of doors.

"Mr. Riley? Mr MacTavish?" A female voice calls a few minutes later, and they nod, overeager as she approaches. A million questions bubble up in Simon's head, where are you, have you delivered yet, are you doing okay, how's the baby... but they all come to a screeching halt when the doctor gets close enough for him to read her face.

No.

"Can you come with me?"

"And there was just too much blood. Once the hemorrhaging started, it couldn't be controlled." Johnny hears what the doctor is saying. He can hear her, loud and clear. He copies her.

But he doesn't understand. His brain can't make the words fit, can't make them make sense. What does that mean? He glances at Simon, who doesn't look at him, just stares at the doctor, face stricken, pale as ash. Like he's seen a ghost. Like someone has died. But that can't be right.

"Alright." He says slowly. "But she's going to be okay?"

"Johnny." Simon croaks, and the doctor shakes her head.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. MacTavish. She's gone." Who's gone? Not you, obviously. What's going on here?

"No. No, no she can't be gone." Johnny protests. This doctor is clearly confused. "She just had someone call us. She's having... she's having a baby. Our baby. She's-" The doctor gives him a sad look, sympathetic and understanding. "No. She can't be gone, we just... we just got here. We-"

"Johnny." Simon says again and Johnny pivots on him.

"Tell her Si. Tell her, she's alright." Simon swings an arm forward, grabbing him by the collarbone, and holding on tight, pulling him close to his body.

It's only then, when Johnny looks up into Simon's face, and sees the tears there, sees those eyes, flooded, sees his cheeks, wet, his face full of turmoil and distress, that it really makes sense.

"No." He whispers. "No, she can't be." He shakes his head, and Simon tries to hold it still, tries to cradle his face in his palms. "Simon." He moans, word splitting into a cry, and then he's burying his face into Simon's neck, spilling hot tears onto his skin. Darling. Their Darling. Their Darling girl. Gone.

Because of them.

They did this.

Simon's body is shaking, shoulders trembling with his sobs, while he holds Johnny close, and Johnny screams into his chest, he screams and he screams until there's nothing left inside of him, every second ticking by bringing him farther and farther away from a time in his life when you still existed, when you were still in this world with them. And he wants it to stop, he wants it to stop so fucking bad but it won't, and he can't make it, he can't do anything, except stand here and scream, scream and beg and plead an unknown entity who's never given him anything good except for you and Simon.

They never got to tell you they still love you.

They didn't even get to say goodbye.

Hours later, they sit in a room with an empty bed, side by side, while a nurse stands in front of them with a tiny, sleeping baby wrapped in a blanket.

"This is your daughter." She tells them. "Her name is Bee."

"Bee." Johnny whispers, and she nods.

"Would you like to hold her?"

"Yes." Johnny says, but the word sounds flat, and he feels numb. The nurse places little Bee in his arms, while Simon watches, unblinking from where he sits right next to him. "Bee." He says again, looking down at her, truly looking at her for the first time. She looks so much like you, more like you than either of them, and he can't stop the tears that fall freely, while Simon reaches over and hesitantly strokes her cheek with a knuckle.

"She's beautiful." Simon whispers hoarsely, voice coarse with tears, and Johnny agrees. Johnny tries to stifle a sob, desperate not to wake Bee while she sleeps, but Simon can't stop himself, and he covers his face with his hand to try to smother his cry. "She looks just like her." Simon chokes, and Johnny's arms shake around where Bee is cradled. He leans to the side, into Simon, who wraps his arm around him immediately, holding Johnny while he holds their daughter, your daughter. They cannot stop their tears, their hearts cracking wide open in both of their chests as they stay down her, their only piece left of you in this world, the only thing they have left to cling to.

"You look just like your mum, baby Bee."

[albuuqer]

Home, at last.

manga spoilers! chapter 237 included.

Megumi Fushiguro reunites with his family, finally.

The water that surrounded him stilled to a stop, making him float between the tides. His eyes were squeezed shut until an arm shook him whole, awaking him from a dream that felt way too long.

“Megumi,” The voice kept on calling, still shaking him, “Megumi, wake up!”

He knew who it was. That voice was Tsumiki’s. But that was impossible. He remembers. She was dead. He was the one who did it.

“Megumi,” She beamed, forcing him to open his eyes, “Megumi!”

Megumi couldn’t move. It wasn’t like before, when Sukuna trapped him inside his own body, and he couldn’t move. This time, he just didn’t want to move in fear of making it all disappear. This had to be a dream, right? If he lifted a finger, it could all dissolve into his mind. And he’d have to face reality. Wait, what reality? Where was he before? In Shinjuku, where he…

“Come on, Dad’s making pancakes!” Tsumiki slapped his arm one more time before bolting out of the room, a bounce in her steps.

Dad? Who, Toji Fushiguro? That is impossible. What kind of nightmare was this?

Megumi carefully lifted the blanket from his body, only to freeze once again. He was tiny. Incredibly, absurdly tiny. Avoiding his suspicions, he stood up and opened the door. The corridor was familiar, everything was.

And it was all confirmed to him when a voice exclaimed, “Satoru!”

Megumi froze again, dread creeping up his spine like a disease. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t possibly be.

“I got this!” Gojo assured dismissively, very much not getting it albeit his words.

He was there. Alive. Smiling and joking as always. Like nothing had changed. Megumi never felt so relieved in seeing Gojo, the same Gojo that used to annoy him endlessly, but that brought so much comfort as of now.

Beside the man, stood you. You from his memories, the one that he kept safe in his heart. Not the you from the real world. The you that he killed a few days ago.

You rolled your eyes like you always did. In a way that shows love.

“You got a burning pancake, that’s what. Even our neighbors can tell,” You smacked his hands away from the pan, handling it with caution before smoothing the surface with butter, “Set the table instead, will you?”

“You can’t kick the chef out of the kitchen! It’s like,” He bit his lip in contemplation, searching for an analogy that would leave you tongue-tied, “Kicking the musician from the stage!”

“Alright, Michael Jackson, my bad,” You laughed wholeheartedly when Gojo sticks out his tongue to you, “Go and wake up the–”

“Good morning!” Tsumiki interjected, waving her hand to you.

“Tsumiki,” You smiled immediately, you always did when you saw him or Tsumiki. For some reason, that made Megumi feel worse, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes!” His sister sat in a stool that used to be too high for him to reach, “Megumi must’ve slept even better, I couldn’t wake him up!”

“Is that so?” You chuckled lightly, but then frowned at the silhouette standing in the corridor. Tilting your head, Megumi tensed up when your eyes focused on him, a smile adorning the corners of your lips, “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“Megumi!” Tsumiki turned to face him, smiling too.

He walked up slowly to the counter, climbing into the stool on Tsumiki's left. Your eyes were no longer on him, which gave him time to regain his composure.

What was going on? Is this a dream, an illusion? Or is this the “life” that flashes before your eyes just before you die?

“Show off,” Someone scoffed beside him and Megumi almost forgot that Gojo was there. The man was leaning on the counter, admiring–no, scratch that, worshiping you flip the pancakes in the air.

“You’re just jealous,” You humored him, flexing your arm that held the pan as if being able to flip pancakes was a medal, “Now, which shape should I make?”

Tsumiki’s face lit up when you looked at her, awaiting her reply, “A heart!”

Megumi’s mouth moved on its own, “A dog!”

“A dog is too hard,” Tsumiki countered matter-of-factly, “A heart is simple!”

“A heart is too corny!” He argued childishly. Well, he was a child, technically.

“You’re too corny!”

A gasp ripped out of his throat, eyes bulging out of his tiny head to glare at his sister as if she had uttered the most heinous profanity at him.

Gojo laughed, his hand trying to muffle the sound, while you let out a breath that resembled a chuckle. He and Tsumiki only stopped bickering when you pushed two plates across the counter.

A heart-shaped pancake with strawberries and rose syrup drawn into a smiley face, banana slices framing the heart with raspberries in between the circles, on the rightmost plate. That one was Tsumiki’s, for sure.

And an oddly shaped pancake that, if you squint hard enough, could bear a resemblance to a canine creature–but Megumi knew what it was; three blueberries connected by thin lines of chocolate syrup, forming a triangle that was identical to the one on his Divine Dogs’ foreheads. That was his.

“Ta-dah!” And you smiled like you hadn’t made the sweetest thing for them just now.

Tsumiki’s eyes started to sparkle, “Thank you!” And she dug into her plate, munching the soft batter with an unwavering smile.

Megumi, on the other hand, wouldn’t budge.

“What’s wrong, Megs?” Gojo asked him curiously when he did nothing but stare at his plate, his lanky figure leaning on his shoulder. Fingers wiggling towards his plate, a mocking grin on his lips, “If you don’t eat, I’m sure someone–”

A spatula smacked his hand away, “Don’t pick on someone half your age, Satoru,” You chastised, but couldn't hide the endearment in your voice when you said his name, “What are you, a bully?”

Gojo held onto his hand as if a curse had just bit it off, “When did you get so violent? To get physically attacked under my own roof,” He deflated into a stool, throwing his head back while he lamented his situation, “What a cruel world!”

“Shut up and eat your pancakes,” You nagged, handing him a plate full of your failed attempts of doing Megumi’s dog-shaped ones.

“Do you even love me?” Gojo asked, utterly offended by the food that was given to him.

Megumi usually muted the squabble between the two of you in his head, unless you were insulting Gojo and needed backup (he’d gang up on him with no hesitation). But this time, he could but stare at the couple of idiots that picked up a pair of strays and raised them. Before Megumi could stop it, his eyes were pricked up with tears.

You took notice of it first, ignoring Gojo’s whining and turning to him, “What’s wrong, Gumi?”

The pure softness of your voice made him want to cry harder. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what was happening, or where he was and what it meant.

But he knew that he missed it.

The light-hearted quarrels between you and Gojo, the tranquility that mornings brought along with them, the easy-going atmosphere that always engulfed the Fushiguro-Gojo household when the four of you were together.

When did all that go away? Was it when Tsumiki got cursed? Or maybe when Gojo was sealed and everything in Shibuya turned the world upside down? Was it all gone the moment you left this world?

“Gumi,” The nickname snapped him out of it, reminding him of where he was, “Are you okay?” He was with you, with his family.

You, Tsumiki, and Gojo were staring at him worriedly. You had circled around the counter, facing and cupping his face onto your hands, holding him with so much care that he could do nothing but lean into your touch.

“I–I’m,” His mouth felt suddenly dry, no matter how much he licked his lips, “Can I hug you?”

Your eyes melted into a puddle of love and adoration, your arms wrapping around his tiny frame that trembled and quivered like a leaf in a thunderstorm.

“Shh, you’re okay,” Your quiet, sweet voice only made him sob louder, “We’re here, Gumi, you’re here.”

Megumi felt another pair of arms pressing up against him, Gojo hid his face in the crook of your neck but he somehow knew the kind of expression that the sorcerer was wearing. The kind of face that made curses and humans alike to tremble in fear. The sort of emotion that always appeared when someone dared to hurt his family.

Tsumiki nestled into your arms too, shielding her little brother from the world with her tiny arms. And you held them both in your own, with Gojo.

Megumi grabbed a chunk of your shirt, clenching his fist around the cloth. Gripping into you as if you were going to fade and slip through his fingers.

“You’re here,” You caressed his back, making little patterns with your finger. Megumi sniffled harshly, trying to just stop crying but he couldn’t. You pressed a kiss on the crown of his head, “We’re all here, sweetheart.”

Gojo ruffled his hair like he used to do when they met, and Tsumiki held his hand in the same way she did back when he was scared.

And, for a moment, Megumi forgot.

He forgot that this wasn’t real. And that Tsumiki was gone, that you were killed and Gojo defeated. He forgot that he was in Shinjuku, staring in the backseat of his own body at Hajime Kashimo, who challenged him–no, not him, Sukuna. He forgot that he had died.

But, for once in his life, he got what he wanted.

He was home. With his family.

my son :(

[muffinpink02]

Bronze Is Better Then Gold Part 4

Warnings - smut 18

“Right, it's only a small cut. I’ll give it a clean, just to be safe.” Lauren H said, as she opened up the medic bag.

“Thank you.” Ona sighed. 

“This might sting.” 

“It's fine- oww! That hurts.” Ona scowled. 

Lauren laughed. “I did say it was going to hurt.” 

Lucy walked over to the pair, a look on her face that Ona didn't like. 

“The boss wants to talk to us.” Lucy looked between her and Lauren.

Ona let out a sigh, forgetting about the sting of the alcohol on her cut. “Shit.”

Lauren packed away the medical bag. “You’re all done. Good luck guys.” She scurried away.

Lucy drove them back to the office. She looked over at the younger brunette, she looked more scared now then she did on the bridge. “Don’t stress too much. She's just going to be a bit pissed, but it's not going to be that bad. Trust me, I’ve done worse.” 

Ona looked over at Lucy, a small smile crept on her face. “You sure?”

Lucy scrunched up her face and waved her hand. “Pssh yeah, she's a pussy cat.” 

They drove the rest of the way in silence but it didn’t feel strained or awkward, it was needed after what just happened, it was comfortable like it was before. 

Sarina wasn't a pussy cat, but she wasn't as angry as Lucy thought she'd be either. 

“What were you thinking, Ona? No, don't answer that, I don't want to know. I’ll tell you what you were thinking. Nothing! Nothing smart could have gone through your head when you decided to run off and chase an extremely dangerous criminal without your partner, without any backup. You didn't even have your gun! It was the most irresponsible thing an agent could do, and you did it. I expected better from you, Ona.”

Ona hung her head. “I’m sorry.”

“She just didn't want him to get away, mam. if it makes you feel any better she did a number on his face.” Lucy chuckled lightly.

Sarina now had her attention on Lucy who was standing next to Ona. 

“Don’t you start. Don't think I haven’t noticed a shift in you. I don’t know what's going on with the pair of you but I want it sorted.”

The girls shifted awkwardly on their spots.

Sarina sighed. “Leave.”

The girls left. Neither looking back. 

The thing is, Ona wouldn't tell you this, but she had run after Slims in some small hope that Lucy would talk to her again, to even have her look at her for longer than 5 seconds. It was also out of instinct but in the back of her mind she was hoping if she caught Slims, Lucy might want to be her friend again. She knew it was silly but she was desperate. But, she probably did the reverse, and made Lucy even more angry with her.

Only if she knew that when Lucy had got home that night she broke down crying the moment she closed her door. The older brunette didn't get further than her hallway when she felt the hot tears streaming down her face.

A rush of emotions hit her hard. Seeing Ona in danger like she did today was a complete shock to the system. Lucy had felt completely helpless, seeing the younger girl trapped like she did, the pain she was in, and she couldn't do anything to protect her. It was one of the scariest positions she’d ever been in, and that’s coming from someone who has had several guns pointing at her. Not all at once of course, but the girl had been in life threatening situations. But this was scary, and it was scary because it was Ona. 

And she should know better, this wasn't the first time she had been in a situation of losing someone close to her. She was just thankful history hadn’t repeated itself. 

That's when she sobbed harder as she thought about how she had treated the younger girl this last month. How horrible she had been to her, hardly talking to her, being so fucking cold towards her, how selfish she had been. If she had lost Ona today she would never have forgiven herself. She knew she was handling the situation badly, and this was a wake up call.

The thought alone at losing Ona in any way frightened her deeply. She realised if Ona wanted her as just a friend then she was lucky enough to have that. Even if she did want her as so much more. 

She knew she needed to fix things.

She took herself to shower, washing her puffy face, her head was banging from all of her crying. She took a deep breath as she washed the day away. She made her way to her bedroom and looked at her phone, she began to type.

Lucy - Hey, can I pick you up tomorrow?

Ona was drying her hair when she got the text from the older brunette. Like Lucy, she had tried to wash the stressful day off herself, especially her hair. She was shocked to see a text from the older brunette. And when she read it she was even more shocked and slightly confused. Why did she want to pick her up? She was annoyed at how her stomach fluttered, she did still like Lucy after all. But those butterflies died quickly, she assumed Lucy was probably going to give her a hard time about her actions, tell her how foolish it was to run off without her partner. She dried the rest of her hair before she replied.

Ona - Sure, I’ll see you then

Lucy smiled, it wasn't like their texts before, but it was a start.

—-------------

Lucy pulled up in her spot where she would always park, she smiled when she saw the shorter girl sitting at her usual spot on the wall. The northerners' hands were sweating, she really hoped it wasn't too late to make things up with Ona.

The Spaniard took a deep breath as she approached the car, she braced herself to be scolded by Lucy. She kind of regretted agreeing to this, was it too late to run back to her flat? Ona sat in the passenger seat, looking over at Lucy with a timid smile, she was understandably nervous. Lucy had been nothing but weird with her, and frankly rude, she was unsure what she could have wanted.

Lucy smiled a little awkwardly at the younger brunette, she could tell the Spaniard was confused and maybe even a bit scared. Ona wasn’t really herself around her anymore, it broke her heart to see, but she knew it was her own fault. 

��Morning.” Lucy smiled.

“Good morning.” Ona breathed out.

Nearly 10 seconds had passed, Lucy was struggling to find the words that she had practised all last night.

“Ona, I...,” - “So..,” Both girls spoke over the other, making them nervously laugh. 

Lucy took a deep breath.

“Ona, I don’t really know where to start. I’m sorry for being such a dick. I know I’ve been weird this last month. I was just going through some personal stuff and it’s no excuse but it got in the way of my work and affected my relationship with you. And I regret it. I’m really sorry.” She breathed out. “I fucked up, but I really hope I can be your friend again. And if you don’t want that, I understand.” 

Well, Ona wasn't expecting that. Was she happy to hear Lucy apologise? Yes, but she couldn't help but wonder, why? Why did Lucy act that way? They were so close before, close in many ways. She wanted to ask what Lucy meant with ‘personal stuff.’ but she didn't want to rock the boat, this was already a surprise. And a happy surprise at that, Ona wasn't one for holding grudges, even though Ona was young she was just a little more mature than some people her age, and maybe older. 

Ona looked at Lucy, doing that thing where she could see into her soul, her big brown chocolate eyes looking right at her. 

She smiled brightly. “Sí, you were a dick, but It’s okay, these things happen. I would really like to go back to how we were, friends.” 

They both said the word loud and clear ‘friend’, the pair flinching at the fact that they both had said it. But that's what this relationship was now, and always had been. Friends.

“I err, also got you some fresh coffee and some fresh chocolate chip muffins.” Lucy held up the bag smiling gingerly. 

Ona chuckled sweetly. “Okay, that makes it a little better.” 

Lucy felt a little tension leave her shoulders as she passed Ona over her coffee, it may not be perfect but was a start.

—-------------

“Do we have to listen to Christmas music everyday? Mariah Carey is getting on my nerves.” Lucy covered her face in annoyance. 

“Get a grip Bronze, it happens every year. Stop being a grinch!” Jess shouted across the room, laughing with Lauren H.

It was the second week of December, Ona eyed up the newly hung Christmas decorations around the office. She couldn't keep the smile off her face, the Spaniard loved Christmas, it was her favourite time of year.

She loved the music, the food, the gifts, the drinks, the cheesy Christmas movies, but most of all she loved that it was an excuse to be with your loved ones. Though some years were hard, not being able to share it with her family. Her fondest memories was when she was a child, herself and her brother used to try and keep each other awake to spot Father Christmas, though they never did. 

The first year Ona arrived in London she had spent Christmas alone. She had hoped to get a call or card from her parents but they never did. She tried to call, but they didn't answer when they saw it was her number. Her brother called her secretly, but that only hurt her more.

Her friend's face timed her throughout the day, but she insisted they spent the day with their families, not wanting to bother them. So, she spent Christmas alone, she even went into the new years alone.

She had never cried so much in her life. It hurt her, not being able to be with the people she loved, but her parents didn’t want anything to do with her, even if it was Christmas. 

But, since her friends moved to London she had spent every Christmas, New Years and everything in between with them. They would make their traditional festive food, play their music, and partake in the traditions they did when they were children. So, for Ona, Christmas was still a holiday she loved, even if she couldnt spend it with her blood family, she spent it with the family she chose.

Ona and Lucy were watching Jill, Demi and Jordan decorate the Christmas tree. Well, it was more Jill telling the others that they were doing it wrong, moving a bauble every time they placed it on a branch. 

“No! What are you doing? It’s already too crowded down there. Giss it here, you obviously can't reach higher than half way up. Yous put all the decorations at the bottom. No. Jordan don’t hit. You know I’ll have you on the floor.” Jill laughed.

Ona and Lucy chuckled at the show in front of them. “Would Jill really be able to beat Jordan?” Ona asked.

Lucy scoffed. “Not a chance, Jill knows it too.” 

Ona watched on. “Hmm. Tea?” 

“I’ll do it, you made tea last.” Lucy got up and made her way to the kitchen.

Since Lucy apologised just over a week ago she had been trying her best to make it up to Ona. They started going for lunch again, they even went back to the chip shop, Lucy brought Ona on her first week. The texts came back, but they weren't as often, though that was kind of expected.

Lucy even got Ona to agree on taking lifts with her again, but it wasn’t hard, it was December and cold. And yeah, it was still the Spaniards favourite part of the day. But Lucy didn’t need to know that.

It quickly went back to how it was between them, but the flirting had stopped. Well, kind of. Sometimes it had a way of creeping itself in, but neither girl minded, they would laugh it off and change the subject.

It wasn't too different, just a lot less tension. Well, it was a different kind of tension, but neither girl could really understand what it was, it was just…new.

Did Ona get butterflies every morning she got in Lucy's car when the brunette gave her that smile that she loved? Yes. Did Lucy find herself completely mesmerised by Ona when she stuck her tongue out in contraction when she was making notes on her laptop? Yes.

Did they still have feelings for each other? Yes. Did they want more than to be friends? Yes. Did they have the guts to be honest with each other and tell the other how they feel? No. It was complicated.

—-----

“As most of you know, yesterday Harvey Smith or ‘Bugz’ was sentenced to 20 years in prison, with no chance of parole. We also managed to track down most of the members that were involved in working for the Smith brothers, they were sentenced to 10 years. So that's the good news” 

Lucy looked at the white board with all the criminals' faces plastered on it. She continued. 

“Frank Smith's body hasn't been retrieved from the river, we understand the river does lead out to the Thames so it's more than likely it may possibly never be retrieved. The case will be officially closed once the last bits of paper work are complete. Jordan, I'm looking at you.” 

“Will be done by Wednesday, boss.” She nodded.

Lucy smiled. “Okay great, well done guys. This case was an intense one, but you've all done amazing. So, thank you and well done. We’ll start work on the ‘Green’ case next week. I know Hempo’s already got many leads on that. Anyways it's Friday, it's half 4. Rose and Crown it is.”

The group clapped and cheered on closing a case, and of course the mention of the pub. But mostly for putting criminals behind bars. An hour and a half  later most of the team was in the pub. Ona was listening to Demi and Mary argue about what the best Christmas film was when she got a text on the group message. 

Alexia - hey guys, I just wanted to let you know i'm going home this christmas, my mum is getting angry with me for not going, will be gone till after new years. I’m sorry 🙁 Ona my mums asked for you to come.

Mapi - I was going to tell you guys tonight but ingrid has asked me to go with her to Norway for christmas and new years to meet her family, I said yes and we bought tickets already 

Ona felt her heart sink. She felt stupid for it but her eyes started to well up. The thought of spending this Christmas alone really wasn't something she wanted. Even though Alexia had asked her to come she wouldn't accept the offer. Her parents lived a road away from Alexia's parents, she would never chance bumping into them. It would hurt too much knowing they would ignore her if they saw her.

She quickly excused herself and ran to the bathroom, she could feel the tears just about to overflow. She opened the door and crashed into a hard body. 

“I-I’m sorry. I wasn't looking. Oh. Lucy.”

Lucy smiled but it instantly dropped when she saw Ona’s face, her beautiful brown eyes welling up with tears.

“Woah, what's wrong?” She gently put her hand on Ona’s shoulder.

You know when you're already about to cry and you're holding it in as much as you physically can, but someone asks ‘what's wrong?’ and the flood gates open up? Yeah, that's exactly what happened to Ona. She felt the first tear slip, then another, until her cheeks were wet. 

“Oh Ona, what happened? Talk to me.” 

Lucy felt her heart break seeing the younger girl like this. She didn't think about her next move; she just did it. She brought Ona close to her chest. Pulling her into a tight hug. She felt so small in her arms, so vulnerable.

She was the perfect height to fit under Lucy's chin, that's when she felt her body shake from the small sobs. She hugged her even tighter, rubbing her hands up and down Ona’s back in the most gentle motion. 

Maybe it was because of the drink in her system, or the horrible memories she had of her first year here, that she never thought she'd have to experience again, or the fact that she was in Lucy's arms.

When Ona let go, she cried and sobbed. She just needed a little comfort. She needed this so badly. And Lucy was more than happy to let her cry into her chest for as long as she needed.

After about 5 minutes of crying Ona took a deep breath and pulled back, she saw the wet patch she left on Lucy's shirt. 

“Oh, sorry Lucy.” She pointed to the dark patches. 

Lucy looked down at her top and smiled. “It's not the first time a girl got me wet.” 

Ona laughed through wet eyes, only Lucy would say something like that while Ona had just been sobbing. She just wanted to make her laugh and she did. Ona had to shake the inappropriate thoughts from her head.

“What's wrong, Ona?” Lucy grabbed the shorter girl's shoulders, her serious face was now on. 

“It's so stupid, I don't even know why I’m crying like this.” She sniffled. “My friends aren't going to be here for christmas and new years. So, I'll be alone. And….yeah, its stupid.” She shook her head at herself as she wiped her tears. 

“That's not stupid. It makes complete sense why you’d be upset.”

Lucy didn’t know if it was the drink, or the way her heart broke for the petite girl in front of her, or the fact that she wanted to spend any moment she could with Ona, that her next words came out. “Spend it with me.” 

Ona looked up at the older brunette. “What?”

“Yeah, I’m staying with my parents for Christmas. Come with me.” She smiled brightly.

“I couldn't do that.” Ona lied, she could definitely do that.

“Yeah you could. It will be fun. I also have a party I’ve been invited to for new years, you could come with me. Or if you’re not into that we can just spend it together.” 

She wanted that so badly. 

Ona felt her heart pounding. Was this really happening? Her emotions were all over the place. One minute she was a mess of tears, now she could run through the pub and do summersaults. Don’t get her wrong she was sad about her friends not being here for Christmas, but spending any time with Lucy was still something she wanted everyday. 

“I can see a smile creeping on your face. You'll come, yeah?” 

Ona wanted to argue more, she wanted to say no. But she couldn’t bring herself to, she wanted nothing more than to be with Lucy. So what was the point of lying?

Ona nodded, a shy smile plastered her lips. She really hoped Lucy wanted her to come and it wasn't just out of pity. But the smile Lucy gave Ona made those feelings melt away. 

“Good, it's settled, you're coming to mine for Christmas. I’ll be driving, it's a 4 hour drive, you better be a good DJ.” 

Ona threw her head back laughing, that laugh always did something to Lucy. 

“You know I have the better music taste.” Ona teased. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just no Christmas music.” Lucy playfully rolled her eyes.

A silence fell over them, both not knowing what to say, but wanting to say so much. 

“Thank you, Lucy.” Ona wiped her nose.

“You don't need to thank me. It will be fun. I’m going to the bar, what do you want to drink?” 

“Ah, an aperol spritz?” 

Lucy shook her head, smiling. “I don’t know how you drink that. It tastes like petrol.”

The Spaniard laughed. “You just don’t have taste.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Lucy squeezed Ona’s arm as she started to leave for the bar. “You okay, yeah?” 

“Yeah, thank you.” Ona smiled. 

The older brunette made her way to the bar, she couldn't hold back the smile on her face. Did that really just happen? Was she really going to be spending Christmas with Ona? She felt giddy, like a kid on Christmas day. She waited to be served, when she felt someone beside her.

“Hey Lucy.”

“Hi Jen.” Lucy gave her a tight smile.

“Aye, listen I’m sorry about Ona, I didn't know you two were a thing at the time. I wouldn't have said what I said,”

“We’re not a thing.” Lucy finally looked at Jen. 

“Oh? Could have fooled me.”

“What?” 

Jen chuckled. “Come on. I’ve seen you two around. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And you her.”  

“We’re just friends. Partners. We have to be close.” 

“Aye, yeah, friends.” The Scottish women winked at Lucy. 

“We are just friends. I thought you two were a thing.” 

Jen scoffed. “Are you blind? She likes you. I should've realised when I spoke to her at your birthday. The girl wouldn't stop talking about you.” Jen rolled her eyes playfully. 

“I don’t thi-,” 

“Luce. Come on. She was looking around for you all night at the bar. Asking everyone if they had seen you.” She scoffed again, shaking her head. Whispering the next words. “I tried to dance with her. She thought I was you.” 

“What?” 

Jen rolled her eyes. “This is hurting my ego enough.” She sighed. “I tried to dance with her, and I thought she was into it, until she basically pushed me away after she realised it was me dancing with her. I swear she said your name, thinking I was you.” 

Lucy felt her heart sink. Realisation finally kicking in. 

Jen continued “So yeah. The girl likes you. I thought you were kind of a thing now? Are you not?” Jen looked confused.

“No.” 

“Pshh mate.” Jen put her hand on Lucy's shoulder and shook her head in disbelief. “Anyways, I’ve said enough. Enjoy your night.” 

“Y-yeah, thanks. You too.” 

Lucy let out a deep sigh, shaking her head in disbelief. She felt a weird excited but dreaded feeling in her stomach. Had she really messed up this badly? If Ona did actually like her, she had obviously ruined anything that could have potentially happened between them. Or had she? She did just invite her to have Christmas with her family, and Ona said yes. A quick yes. But, as friends. But? No. Maybe? Maybe there was a chance. 

-----------

Ona was sat on the wall waiting for Lucy to pick her up. It was the morning of Christmas Eve. Ona would be lying if she didn't say she was nervous, only 3 weeks ago herself and Lucy wasn't even speaking, now she was spending Christmas with her and her family. Talk about your turn of events.

Lucy pulled up beeping her horn at Ona, smiling when the girl shook her head at her silliness. Ona wasn't the only one that was nervous. When Lucy asked her to spend Christmas with her and her family, she wasn't actually thinking about what that could mean. She was also maybe a little tipsy when she asked, so she hadn’t thought about the implications of her question, but it didn't make her any less excited that Ona said yes. 

Lucy got out of the car, helping Ona with her bag and what looked like a bag with gifts. 

“Hola, good morning.” Ona smiled.

“Good morning. Here, let's put that in the boot.” She lifted up a bag spotting the wrapping paper. “Ona you didn't have to get any gifts.” Lucy complained.

“What? Don’t be stupid. It's Christmas, of course I have gifts.” She argued.

“Well, thank you but you really shouldn't have.” Lucy shook her head smiling at Ona’s thoughtfulness.

Ona playfully rolled her eyes at the older girl. The pair got into the car and made their way up North. 

The first hour they spoke non stop, it was so easy. They could speak about anything and everything. The second hour they listened to music, Lucy even put on some christmas songs after Ona pouted and gave her puppy dog eyes. By the third hour they played games, like ‘eye spy', ‘21 questions', and ‘would you rather?’ By the fourth hour Lucy noticed Ona’s eyes dropping. Another five minutes and the girl was sleeping quietly next to her.

Lucy couldn't help but steal glances at the younger brunette, her face was so soft. She looked incredibly peaceful. She looked beautiful. 20 minutes before they arrived Lucy woke Ona up, she really didn't want to disturb her but she also thought Ona would want to wake up a little before they arrived.

“Ona. Ona, wake up. Come on, sleepy head.” Lucy gently nudged her.

Ona slowly opened her eyes. She looked confused at first but smiled when she saw Lucy. 

“We’re nearly there.” 

“Sorry Lucy. I didn't mean to sleep for so long.” Ona stretched.

“No, I don’t mind.”

They finally arrived. Lucy turned the engine off and turned to the shorter girl.

“Right, like I said my mum can chat for britain. Just smile and nod. My brother is a dick and is always teasing. His wife Molly is normal, you'll get on with her, maybe.” She smiled cheekily at Ona. “My dad just pots about, he doesn't really get in anyone's way.” 

“Aye, come on, I'll be fine.” 

“Yeah, you will. If anything becomes too much or you just want some of your own space, or just need a break. Please give me a signal. It can be a lot with your own family on Christmas, let alone someone else's.”

Ona gave Lucy a deadpan look. “Lucy, come on.” 

“No, you come on. Give me a signal.” 

Ona scooped Lucy’s little finger with her own. Bringing it in between them. “This okay?”

Lucy's heart skipped a beat. It wasn't an intimate touch, not at all, but it felt special. It felt familiar. Lucy smiled. “Okay, that's good.” 

Ona smiled, she didn't think about what she was doing when she grabbed Lucy's finger. She felt stupid for it but she felt a weird spark, a shiver that travelled through her. But she couldn't help but notice how natural it felt to touch Lucy, even though it was a small piece of her, she liked it a lot.

The girls grabbed their bags and made their way to Lucy's childhood home. The taller brunette knocked on the door and turned to Ona and mouthed ‘Good luck.’

The door opened to an older looking Lucy, Ona recognised Lucy's mum from the face time they had back on Lucy's birthday.

“Oh Ona! It's so lovely to finally meet you!” Lucy's mum side stepped Lucy completely,  engulfing Ona in a rib breaking hug. 

Ona smiled at the older woman, she embraced her hug easily. It had been a while since she had this type of hug, a mothers hug. She instantly felt the warmth from her, it was nice, it was something she had missed for years. 

“It's so nice to finally meet you. Thank you for having me.” Ona tried to not struggle from the squeeze of Lucy's mum.

Lucy's mum finally let go. “Don’t be silly. I’m so happy to have you here.” She held Ona by her arms stroking her lovingly. 

“No you’re alright, I didn't just drive four hours to be ignored.” Lucy said with a deadpan stare at her mum.

“Oh Lucy calm down, I speak to you all the time. She's so moody isn't she Ona? Lord knows what it's like to work with her. Come on then, give me a cuddle.” Lucy didn't have time to argue, before she was being squashed by her mum's bear-like grip.

Ona smiled at the pair's banter. 

“Come in girls. Get your bags upstairs. Ona what would you like to drink sweetheart? Tea, coffee? Prosecco? I've already opened a bottle.” 

“Oh, I’m okay for now, thank you. But I do have some cinamon rolls for you."

The older women's face lit up. "Oh Ona. Thank you! You shouldn't have, you angle!"

Ona passed the fresh baked goods over. Lucy's mum smiled as she took them. "Such a sweet girl."

Ona’s mum smiled warmly at her. “You let me know if you want anything, don't be scared to ask. Lucy, can you get the games out of the attic please. I can’t reach. John come and say hello to your daughter and Ona. Stop watching that pokie show!” Lucy's mum walked off.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Come, we'll take these upstairs. You can see my teenage room.” 

Before the girls could move Lucy's mum came back. “Oh Lucy, just so you know you and Ona will have to share your room. We’ve turned your sister's room into a home gym. She doesn't need it living in Australia now. I do my Davina Mcall workout in there every morning. I've lost 5 pounds already!” 

“Erm, okay no problem. Do we still have the blow up bed?” 

“No, your dad popped it when we had some friends round. Had to throw it away. You've got a double bed in your room, you can surely share.”

Lucy looked like a deer in headlights. Her and Ona were going to share a bed in her teenage bedroom? Her teenage self would be fisting the air right now. All three of the women heard Lucy's dad shout something in the background.

“What John? No, I don't know where the tape measurer is. What do you need that for?” And the older woman was gone again.

“Okay, looks like we’re bunking together. Do you mind?” Lucy started to walk up the stairs.

“No, not at all.” Ona smiled. She didn’t mind one bit.

Lucy opened the door to her old bedroom. Things had obviously changed a bit since it was her room, but her mum had kept some of her old posters and football trophies up. 

Ona smiled as she looked at the posters, some looked to have signatures on them. “You liked football huh?” 

“Still do.” Lucy came up behind her. 

“You can play?” Ona picked up one of the old trophies.

“I can. I’m really good.” Lucy said with a cocky smile on her face. 

“Not as good as me though.” A deep voice made them both jump.

Ona turned to see a young man standing in the doorway, he had familiar features to Lucy but only slight. “Hi, you must be the famous Ona. I’m Kevin.” He smiled. That's when Ona saw the resemblance.  

“Hello Kevin, it's lovely to meet you.” Ona smiled.

“She showing off again? She does that a lot.” Kevin smiled playfully.

“I apologise in advance, Ona.” Lucy moved over to hug her brother but was caught in a headlock that she easily got out of after punching her brother right in the chest. 

Ona giggled at the sister and brother relationship. It wasn't too far off her own relationship with her brother, when she had still lived in Spain.

“Auntie Lucy!” A smaller voice joined the commotion.

Ona watched as the little raven haired girl grasped on to Lucy's leg. “Hey, Rudy!” Lucy grabbed the girl and brought her into a hug. “How's my favourite niece?” 

The little girl laughed. “I’m your only niece.”

Lucy kissed her cheek. “Hey Ruds, come say hi to my friend Ona.”

For some reason Ona felt nervous, of all the people she wanted to make a good impression on it was Lucy's niece. She knew Lucy adored the girl, so this was important to her. The little girl nodded suddenly, becoming a little shy. Lucy walked them over to Ona. The Spaniard then noticed Rudy looked like a younger version of Lucy. The resemblance was uncanny. 

“Hello Rudy, I’m Ona.” Ona gave Rudy a small wave. 

“Hello Ona.” The girl tucked her head into Lucy's neck, keeping her eyes on Ona.

“I like your shoes. I've got some just like yours. But I like the colours on yours more.” Ona tapped the girl's shoes. 

“Auntie Lucy got them for me.” She said proudly, smiling at the Spaniard.

“Oh did she? She has good taste.” Ona smiled.

“Yeah. I want juice.” The younger girl escaped from Lucy's arms and ran out of the room. Leaving the two women alone.

“She’s so cute.” 

“Yeah. When she’s not being a brat.” Lucy laughed.

An awkward silence fell over the pair. Ona eyed up the double bed, then back to the posters. “Do you play now?” 

Lucy looked at the posters. “Now and again. I have a team I play on a Sunday with. I played a lot more when I was younger. I nearly went to America to train, but I injured my knee when I was 17. Couldn’t play the same for years after that.” Lucy looked thoughtful.

“Oh. That's awful, I'm sorry Lucy.” 

“Ahh doesn't matter. I doubt I would’ve made it.” Lucy shrugged. 

“Lucy! Ona! Come down, I’ve got the baby album out!” Lucy's mum shouted from downstairs.

The older brunette's eyes closed in frustration. 

“Coming!” Ona smiled wickedly at Lucy. She grabbed Lucy's hand pulling her out the room. “I can’t wait for this.” 

Even though Lucy was just a shade lighter than a tomato she didn't hate the feeling of Ona’s hand in hers. 

—----

“Oh and that’s Lucy on her 5th birthday. It was a football party, of course.”  Lucy’s mum pointed and smiled at the younger Lucy.

“And here’s Lucy having a bath. I’ll tell you what Ona that girl could never keep her clothes on. I’d have to keep an eye on her constantly. She always wanted to be in the nude.” Lucy's mum laughed.

“Mum!” Lucy was a beetroot colour now.

“What? Don’t be embarrassed, you were only a baby.” 

Ona couldn't hold back the laugh as Lucy's mum nudged her arm, laughing with her.

“Okay! I need a drink. Ona? Drink?” Lucy stood up.

“Good idea Lucy, bring the bottle in.” Lucy’s mum said without turning around.

Lucy shook her head, but couldn’t help but smile when she saw Ona getting on with her mum. 

The day went quick. Lucy hardly got to speak to Ona as she was pulled from pillar to post from each family member, even her dad joined in on the fun. The girl had slotted into the family so easily, she got on with everyone, it made Lucy feel at ease. Once Rudy was put to bed Lucy and Ona helped with putting the Christmas presents under the tree. 

That's when Lucy felt the warm skin of Ona’s little finger wrapping around her own. She looked up to see big brown eyes on hers, and a slightly tired smile on her face. Lucy didn't have to say anything, she could read Ona’s face. 

“Mum, we’re heading up.” 

“Okay. We’ll be up in a bit. Lucy, make sure to be a good host and give Ona anything she needs.”

Keven couldn't hold in his laugh on the other side of the room, his wife hitting him quickly. Lucy shot daggers at her immature brother. The girls said their good nights and made their way upstairs. Lucy closed the door behind her as they entered her room.

“You okay?” 

“Sí, sorry I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.” 

“No, that's okay. I’m tired too. I'll grab us towels so we can shower.

—----------

“Okay, so that tap can be a bit temperamental, I’ll put it on for you so you don’t struggle.” 

“Thank you, Luce.” 

They waited in silence for the water to warm up. It was a small bathroom, Lucy could feel Ona right next to her, every so often she could feel her arm accidentally touch her own. She hoped the younger brunette didn’t notice the hairs on her arm stand up or the goosebumps that took over her skin from a simple touch. 

She could feel the Spaniards eyes on her, but she kept her eyes on the running water or anywhere that wasn’t at Ona. She couldn't believe how nervous she felt. Once she was happy with the temperature she left the girl to shower. 

“Okay, that should be good. If you need anything let me know, I’ll be right in. I mean, I w-wont come in obviously. Like, I can…I’ll help with what I can. Without coming in, cos you'll be naked.” 

Ona couldn't hold back the smirk on her face. This may have been the first time she had seen Lucy shy, or tongue tied. Was it cute? Yes! Did she almost reach up to kiss her to stop her stuttering? Almost.

“Don’t worry. I’ll call if I need you.” Ona smiled playfully.

The older brunette chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of her neck. God, what's wrong with you?

“Right. Good. Let me get out of your way.”

Lucy squeezed by Ona, apologising as her body pressed against hers as she did. She was so close she could smell Ona’s shampoo. The coconut one, the one she liked. 

“Thank you Luce.” 

Lucy let out a deep sigh. She didn't regret asking Ona to come here for Christmas but she didn't realise how hard it was going to be. She wanted the girl. Badly. And having her here was only increasing her feelings. Seeing how easily she slotted in with her family increased it. Singing stupid Christmas songs in the 4 hour car journey increased it. Just having Ona by her side increased it. 

Lucy scrolled on her phone sitting on her bed as she waited for Ona to finish in the shower. When the bathroom door opened she nearly forgot how to breathe. She may have pictured Ona like this a few times. No, a lot of times. But this was the real thing, now she was actually in front of her. She came out in her towel, water droplets dripped down her milky skin. The baby hair on the back of her neck curled from the heat of the shower. Her freckled cheeks flushed a hot pink from the heat. Fuck. This was going to be difficult.

“Done. Thank you.” Ona smiled sitting down on the other side of the bed. 

Lucy swallowed on her dry throat. “Great, erm….Yeah, okay.” 

She kept her eyes down as she made her way to the bathroom. She undressed and got in the shower. She closed her eyes and let out another deep sigh as the hot water ran down her skin. She tried to rid herself of her dirty thoughts, but she couldn't stop the images of a naked Ona in her room. She tried to push them away but it only got worse when the memory of Ona underneath her rushed into her thoughts.

She could feel the start of a small throbbing sensation between her legs. Her hand started to creep down her stomach as she remembered the way Ona panted and thrusted beneath her. The way Ona’s brown eyes looked up at her as she bit her lip, the moans the girl let out as she squirmed underneath her. Before Lucy realised what she was doing her hand was between her legs touching her clit. 

It wasn't the first time she had thought about Ona like this, she was a regular occurrence in Lucy's late night fantasies. But she couldn't do this now, not with Ona right next door, it felt wrong, seedy almost. She moved her hand away, but not without noticing the shiny essence on her finger tips. 

This was going to be a long two nights. 

Lucy let out another sigh. In her rush to the bathroom she had left her pyjamas on the bed. She was going to have to change in front of Ona. Fuck sake. She opened the door to see Ona already tucked up in bed. Her long hair was down, like that night at the bar. Her sleepy eyes caught Lucy, sending her a cute smile. But that cute smile dropped quickly when her dark eyes roamed the older brunette's wet body.

Just like Lucy, Ona had pictured very similar situations with the girl in front of her half naked. But in her dirty thoughts she was fully naked. And just like Lucy, Ona had the older brunette constantly on her mind whenever she had her hand between her legs. Picturing the older girl in many different situations. She was doing it right now, even with Lucy in front of her, she couldn't help it. It wasn't until she heard Lucy's voice that she was brought out of her dirty day dream.

“Ona? Do you mind if I change?” Lucy asked. 

“Huh? Sorry, what?” Ona didn’t realise she was staring.

Lucy couldn't stop the smile. A knowing smile. “I’m just going to change. Is that okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I won't look. I promise.” She let out a small nervous chuckle. “I’m on my phone.” Ona quickly glanced back at her phone, wanting to give her host some privacy. She did a good job at first, scrolling aimsley on her insta feed. She was concentrating hard to not let her eyes go any further, though she may have glanced up once or twice at the girl. 

Lucy wasn’t facing her, Ona could only see her back, her very muscular back. She looked at her phone, trying her best to not creep on her friend. But her eyes glanced up once more. Lucy had bottoms on already. She was just in time to see the older brunette putting her shirt over her head, catching her firm stomach as she turned back to Ona. She darted her eyes down quickly but of course Lucy caught her. 

Lucy slotted into the space next to Ona. The room suddenly felt like it had no air. 

“So, how has today been?” Lucy wanted to try and pop the hot bubble that was making her sweat. 

Ona looked up from her phone, she didn't even release, she was just looking at the weather app now, too focused on trying to regulate her breathing. 

“Amazing! Your family are so sweet. I’ve already had so much fun. I-I can't thank you enough, Lucy. It means a lot to me that you have welcomed me to celebrate with your family.”

“You’re more than welcome. They love you, you know? They weren't even this nice to any of my exes.” Lucy chuckled, until she realised how weird that sounded. Why was she putting Ona in the same sentence as her exes? Maybe because the next time she saw her family with Ona she wanted her to be more than her friend.

Ona smiled shyly, she didn't miss what Lucy said, but she didn't take it to heart. Clearly  Lucy didn't mean anything by it, she was just comparing. Yeah, it was a bit weird to be compared to her past lovers but Ona would just ignore the nervous feeling in her stomach at the thought of her family liking her more then her actual girlfriends. 

Lucy quickly changed the subject, asking Ona what Christmas was like back in Spain. The younger girl was more than happy to give Lucy a small history lesson on the traditions back home. It wasn't until Ona started to yawn that Lucy decided to call it a night. 

“Right you, let's get you to sleep. Got a big day tomorrow.” Lucy teased.

Ona rolled her eyes at the older girl, smiling as she tucked herself into the covers. Lucy rolled over and turned off the side light, immersing the pair into darkness. She made herself comfortable, as comfortable as she could. She could still feel the slight throbbing between her legs. Having Ona inches next to her did not help, especially when she felt the girl's hand glide up stomach as she moved around next to her. 

Her breath hitched in her throat as her body tensed up.

“Sorry.” Ona whispered.

“It's okay. If you wanted to cop a feel you could have just asked.” Lucy giggled.

“Idiota.” Ona chuckled back.

Half an hour later Ona was fast asleep, but the same couldn't be said for Lucy, she found herself staring at the ceiling, listening to Ona’s steady breathing. She tried to close her eyes and relax but her mind was on overdrive. 

She was thinking of all the ways she could tell Ona. Tell her the truth about why she was such a dick before. Tell her how much it killed her to not talk to her, why she ignored her texts, declined the lunches with her. Explain why she became so cold. Come clean about how Ona was the first and last thing that she thought about everyday since laying eyes on her. 

After an hour of her brain screaming at her, Lucy started to drift to sleep. But as soon as her mind started to calm it was woken back up. The shorter girl beside her shuffled in her sleep, capturing one of Lucy's thighs between her own. And even with the fabric as a barrier, Lucy instantly felt the unmistakable wetness that started to dampen through onto her own skin. 

And if that wasn't enough to send her brain into a complete overdrive, the girl ever so slightly began to grind her hips into Lucy's thigh. The smallest of whimpers escaped the Spaniard's lips as she unknowingly used Lucy's body for her own pleasure. The girl was clearly having a sex dream. Next to Lucy. In Lucy’s bed. And she could fucking feel it. 

“Fuck.” Lucy breathed out. 

Was this really happening? Should she wake the girl? No! She’d be mortified. Maybe if she tried to move her leg? But as soon as she did, Ona only got closer, pushing herself right up into Lucy. Her face was so close to her, she could still smell the mint from her toothpaste. Ona whimpered again, clearly finding a sweet spot in her new position, Lucy could feel the girl becoming wetter. Her own clit was throbbing.

She needed to put a stop to this, even though she really didn't mind Ona using her as her own sex toy. Just as she was about to fully move from Ona, she heard her own name being moaned. 

“Lucy.” Ona whispered. 

Lucy’s whole body stiffened. Was she hearing that right? Ona was saying her name? She was dreaming about Lucy. Her name was being moaned into her ear by the girl she was already wet over. Onas hips picked up a faster paste, her small moans making Lucy's skin heat up. She felt dizzy, she bit her lip trying to hold in her own groan. Ona’s wet fabric was sliding up her thigh, she could feel the warmth radiating from between her legs. 

Just as she was about to stop the shorter girl, she felt her body stiffen. She didn't make a sound. She held her breath. Ona let out a tiny sigh and her body relaxed again. Snuggling her face into Lucy’s shoulder. 

The older brunette couldn’t move. She swallowed the spit in her mouth like she was out of breath, how did that just happen? She couldn’t believe Ona had just used her to get off. Well, in her sleep. How did that just happen? Lucy was sweating, she could feel her clit crying to be touched. But she couldn't, and she wouldn't. She would have to wait until she got back home. 

Even though she didn’t want to move from Ona’s grip, she needed to get to the toilet. She removed herself from the girl and from the sheets, Ona was in an ignorance of bliss, sleeping soundly. Lucy went to the toilet, wiping away any of own essence. She couldn’t stop the smile when she saw the damp spot on her trousers from the girl in the other room. She splashed some cold water onto her face to try and calm herself down.

Lucy made her way back into bed, trying her best not to wake the girl next to her. She could still feel the heat between her own legs, ignoring as best as she could. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

—------------

Ona was confused when she awoke, this wasn't her bed. Then the feeling of hot air on her neck tickled her, causing her to shiver. That's when she remembered she was at Lucys. She didn't realise a strong arm was wrapped around her body until it pulled her effortlessly closer, she could feel the warm body pressed up against her back, the strong arm locking her in. Lucy was holding her like she was her own teddy bear, their bodies pressed up against each other like lovers.

Ona was fully awake now, she could hear Lucy's shallow breathing, she was still asleep. Lucy's core was pressed right up against Onas’s arse, she could feel the heat coming from between the girls legs. It reminded her of her own dream last night, maybe she was still dreaming?

She couldn't stop the silent gasp as she felt Lucy pull her impossibly closer. She bit her lip, loving the feeling of the strong girl against her body. 

Did she do the responsible thing and move away from her friend? No. She gently counted her hips backwards, pushing her arse into Lucy, loving the way the older brunette's breath hitched in her sleep. Lucy nuzzled closer to her neck, her lips gently brushed the Spaniard's neck. Ona closed her eyes as she felt Lucy’s soft lips against her skin, she could feel her own body heating up, her nipples straining against her top.

That's when Lucy's phone alarm went off. Ona closed her eyes, pretending to still be asleep. She knew Lucys was probably going to freak out when she saw the position they were in. And like clock work she felt Lucy's body stiffen, she was clearly awake. Did it break Ona’s heart just slightly? Of course. But she couldn't feel like that for long, not when she felt Lucy's soft lips press a light kiss to her neck. 

She must still be dreaming. Did that just happen? Did Lucy just kiss her? Why? Why did she kiss her? What did that mean? She felt Lucy move away, her body suddenly felt cold. She then felt Lucy pat her back. 

“Ona. Wake up. It's Christmas!” 

Hearing Lucy's morning voice did something to Ona’s insides. Her accent sounded even thicker. If she didn't know the girl so well she’d probably find it hard to understand her morning mumbles.

Ona pretended to wake, she smiled and stretched her body. “Bon dia.” She turned around to face a very sleepy, cute looking Lucy. “Merry Christmas.” Ona yawned.

Lucy smiled and stretched. “How did you sleep?” She knew how the girl slept, but she wasn't about to reveal that.

“Good, thank you. You?” 

“Not too bad. You didn't take up too much room, so I can’t complain.” She smirked.

“I don’t get many complaints when sharing a bed with another woman.” Ona giggled. 

Lucy laughed out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure you don’t.”

This was a whole other layer being added to their relationship. It felt almost like how they were before, tip toeing on a fine line of friendship and flirting, the undertones of wanting each other was becoming more apparent. 

“It smells like breakfast is on.” Lucy stretched.

“Hmm, I can't wait.”

“Remember don’t force yourself to eat things, if you don't want anything just say so. My mums a feeder.” Lucy warned.

“Good thing I'm an eater.” Ona winked. 

Lucy chuckled. “Okay, you ready?” Lucy sat up.

“Sí, but can I give you your present now?”

Lucy’s face broke into a huge smile. “You got me a present?”

“Of course.” 

“I got you one too. I wasn't sure when to give it to you.” 

Now it was Ona’s turn to smile. She watched as Lucy got out the bed and made her way to her bag, Ona copied her movements, moving over to her own bag. Ona would be lying if she didn't say she was extremely excited that Lucy got her a present. She of course had a small slither of hope that she would, but she didn't actually think she would. She pulled out the gold box from her bag, hoping she got Lucy something she actually liked. 

Ona pulled out the neatly wrapped green and red papered package, with a red envelope on top. She smiled as she saw Lucy looking a little nervous on the other side of the room, she was holding a small gold wrapped box. 

“Merry Christmas, Lucy.” She stepped forward..

“Merry Christmas, Ona.” Lucy nervously smiled.

They exchanged their gifts. Ona opened the small golden box to find a blue jewellery box encased, she smiled as Lucy watched her. She gently opened the box to find a gold necklace with a gold smiley face attached to the chain. Ona’s eyes lit as eyed the gold chain, she couldn't stop her own smile on her face. She loved it. She looked up to see Lucy's nervous face.

“Lucy, I love it! Thank you so much!”

“Yeah? You sure? If you dont its okay.”

“What? No, I love it! Can you put it on me?” 

Lucy gave Ona a toothy smile. “Turn around.” 

Ona pushed her hair to the side to give Lucy space. She felt as Lucy's fingers skimmed her skin, making her shiver. Lucy didn't miss the way the younger girl's skin prickled with goosebumps from her touch. It brought back scenes from last night, making her own heart race, she tried to calm herself before her cheeks turned red.

Ona turned around, the gold chain shining on her neck.

“It suits you.” Lucy ran her eyes over the chain.

“Thank you. It's perfect.”

Ona noticed Lucy's face looked a little flush. “Open yours.”

Lucy opened the envelope first, it was a christmas card with a piece of paper inside. She skimmed her eyes over the writing, her eyes widened in surprise. She read it out loud. 

“The Big London Bake. You and your guest will have a day of eating, baking and of course a day of fun.” She licked her lips as she smiled back at Ona. “I have wanted to do this for the longest time! I can’t believe it, how did you know? How did you get tickets? They're always booked up.” 

“I know you like baking, and I have a friend who knows a friend.” Ona winked playfully.

“I can’t tell you how excited I am! Thank you so much! When do you wanna go?” 

“You don't have to bring me, I-,” 

Lucy cut her off. “There is no way I’m taking anyone else. Of course you’re coming.”

Ona looked at her feet as she smiled. “Open your other present.”

Lucy tore open the paper, smiling as soon as she saw it. It was a picture frame with a picture of Ona and Lucy laughing on stage at the karaoke bar. 

“I still don’t know why we’re doing this job and not forming a band.” Lucy chuckled. “I love it. Thank you, Ona.” 

The younger brunette giggled as she looked at the picture. Their relationship was definitely blurring now. Both girls could feel it. Feelings were growing, and both girls didn't stop it, they were letting it grow, pushing it to grow. 

—----------

“Merry Christmas girls!” Lucy's mum was cooking pancakes at the oven.

“Merry christmas!” The pair said in sync.

“Can I help with anything?” Ona walked over to Lucys mum.

“No my darling, you’re our guest. But thank you. You have a seat. Are you hungry? I’ve got lots to choose from. Lucy get Ona a tea, or is it coffee you like dear? Lucy put the kettle on.”

Lucy rolled her eyes at her mum. Ona giggled at their relationship, it was a typical mum and daughter relationship. She smiled as she watched Lucy's mum grab her cheek and lovingly smile at her daughter as she put the kettle on. 

“Ona my darling do you like pancakes?”

“I do.” 

“With chocolate chips?”

“Even better.” 

“Perfect. Got a fresh batch for you now. Do you like orange juice?” Lucy's mum brought the fresh batch of warm chocolate chip pancakes over to Ona. 

“Thank you so much. This looks amazing!” 

Lucy's mum smiled as she squeezed Ona’s shoulder in that mum type way. It was something she didn't realise she had missed so much. Lucy brought over a coffee for Ona, not needing to ask what she wanted, she knew that was her morning drink. 

“Where's Kevin? And dad?” Lucy asked as she sat down. Her mum placed a stack of pancakes in front of Lucy. 

“They all went for a walk. Rudy was up early, bouncing off the walls.” Her mum chuckled. 

The three chatted as they had their morning breakfast. Once they were done the girls had a shower and changed into their clothes. 

“Girls you ready? We have a very impatient 6 year old down here.”

“Okay, show time you ready?” Lucy smiled.

“Sí.” Ona smiled.

They made their way downstairs to open presents. That’s when Ona noticed the large Santa sacks under the tree that definitely weren't there last night. They had large gold initials stitched onto the red fabric. One had an L, a K, an M for Kevin's wife Molly, and then she spotted the sack with an O. She stopped in her tracks, Lucy bumping into her from behind. She felt her hand on her shoulder. 

“You okay?” Lucy looked concerned.

“Ah yeah, sorry.” 

“Come.” Lucy took Ona’s hand in hers and sat them down.

“Ona!” Rudy ran over to the Spanird a present in her hand. 

“Ona this is from me. Open it.” the mini version of Lucy demanded.

“Oh my. Thank you. Is it not from santa?” Ona chuckled.

“Not this one.” Rudy smiled cheekily.

“Oh, okay.” Ona smiled at Lucy as she opened the present.

It was a mug with ‘Top copper’ on it. 

Ona laughed. “I love it! Thank you so much, Rudy.” She opened her arms for the girl. Rudy jumped on her lap and tucked herself into the Spaniard's neck. Lucy grabbed her phone and quickly took a picture of the pair.  Rudey jumped off the girl and ran back over to her mum and dad, ready to open her presents. 

“Okay, present time.” Lucy’s mum passed over Ona and Lucy the heavy sacks.

“Th-thank you. You didn't have t-,”

Lucy's mum was quick to stop her. “No, I don't want to hear any of that.” She grabbed her cheek like she did Lucys and gave her a kiss on her head.

Ona couldn't believe it, she wasn't expecting any kind of gift from anyone, let alone a whole sack. She looked over at Lucy who was smiling at her, gesturing for her to open her sack. She untied the knot to find loads of wrapped up presents. She felt overwhelmed. She hadn't had anything like this before, not since she was a child. She reached in and began to open her presents alongside Lucy.

The list of items was long. She had opened a perfume set, face masks, nail varnish set, a baking cookbook, a candle, pjs set, a hot water bottle with an O stitched in, a hot chocolate set, a bath bomb set, bath soak, hand cream, chocolates, woolly socks, a £30.00 gift card, lip gloss and a beautiful brown leather notebook. Ona could feel the tears in her eyes. She quickly stood up and excused herself. 

Lucy and her mum looked at each other with worry. The older brunette quickly followed Ona out of the room to find her in the kitchen at the sink, a small tear was rolling down her face. 

“Hey, you okay? What's wrong?” Lucy stroked Ona’s arm.

“I’m so sorry. Nothing is wrong, it's just. Your family have been so nice to me. It's overwhelming. They have spoilt me.” She chuckled threw a tear. 

Lucy smiled, she rubbed the girl's arm and pulled her in for a hug, she understood. She knew Ona hadn't been with her own family in so long let alone for Christmas, she knew this holiday was difficult in many ways for the younger girl. Ona loved it, but it also brought weird feelings for her. She held the girl tight, rubbing her back soothingly. 

“Hey, It's okay, Ona. It can be a lot. It's a hard day for you. Don't apologise. I know my mum definitely goes over the top aswell.” She wiped away a tear from Ona’s cheek.

“Thank you, Luce. It's very generous, I just wasn't expecting it.” She looked up, Ona could feel her heart beating, Lucy's face was suddenly so close to hers, looking in her eyes so deeply. Like she was trying to read her mind, her green eyes searched her face, landing on her mouth. Ona stopped breathing. 

“Is Ona okay?” Lucy's mum walked into the kitchen.

Lucy took a step back from Ona, hearing her mum’s voice.

“Sí, I am. Sorry, I am just so happy. You’ve been so kind to me.” Ona smiled.

“Oh my darling!” Lucy's mum scooped Ona up in a hug, squeezing the girl tightly to her chest. “I’m glad their happy tears. I’m sorry if it was too much.” She stroked Ona’s cheek. 

“No, no! Not at all. You’ve been so welcoming. It’s so nice. Thank you so much for my gifts.” 

Lucy's mum smiled lovingly at her. “You’re welcome Ona. We’ve loved having you here. You’re welcome here anytime.”

Ona smiled, she had missed this. A mothers love. 

“Do you want tea, Ona?” Lucy asked. 

Ona nodded. “Thank you, Luce.” 

“Tea then we drink.” Lucy's mum winked.

Ona and Lucy chuckled, agreeing on the plan. 

The rest of Christmas day went perfectly. Everyone loved the presents Ona had got them. Christmas dinner was served and everything was cooked to perfection. Ona had sat next to Lucy, every so often their arms would brush but neither girl said anything. They all sat down to watch ‘The Grinch’. Ona would catch those familiar green eyes on her every half an hour, smiling at her everytime she caught her. She wondered if Lucy even watched the film.

Then the board games came out. Ona got to see first hand just how competitive Lucy was, it made her cry with laughter watching the older brunette and her brother argue over the games. Ona, Lucy and Rudy played football in the garden, Lucy's brother also joined in, and ended up in a headlock.

As it came closer to the evening a few neighbours came by for drinks, the music was blaring and everyone was having a good time. Ona found herself being spun around by one of Lucy's neighbours, as the group danced away. Ona had found herself staring at Lucy while she danced with Rudy in her arms. It made her heart melt as the pair giggled at something Rudy said. 

“Ona, do you want a drink?” Suddenly Lucy was in front of the Spaniard.

Ona was blushed from the dancing. A huge smile plastered on her face, making Lucy's heart melt. “Please. Thank you.”

Lucy nodded, she made her way to the kitchen in search of more alcohol. She looked in the mini fridge stocked with bottles of drink. She grabbed a bottle and popped the cork, pouring herself and Ona some prosecco.

“So, how long have you loved her?” 

Lucy jumped at the deep voice, she turned around to see her brother Keven standing at the door frame, a playful smile on his face.

“What?” Lucy turned back around to continue pouring.

“Come on, Lucy. Don't play dumb. You can see it a mile away. You can practically see the heart shape in your eyes. Even the way Ona looks at you.”

“Leave it out Kevin.”

He stepped next to his sister, leaning on the kitchen side, a serious face now sat on his features. 

“I’m not trying to wind you up Luce, you seem so much happier, and I can't help but think it's Ona that’s done it.” He smiled at his younger sister.

Lucy scoffed. “Is it that obvious?” 

Kevin raised his eyebrows. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” 

The siblings laughed, it was rare for them to have a conversation that didn't end up teasing the other over a game or even what the other was dressed in, it was different, it was nice.

“I hope you're planning on asking her out. Even Molly was asking if she was single. I think she wants your girl.” He winked, making Lucy laugh.

“Yeah, I think I will. I just need the right ti-,” 

“Hey Luce, do you need me?” Ona entered the kitchen with a big smile on her face. 

“Just in time! She does Ona, she needs you.” Kevin smiled as he nudged his sister, Lucy gave her brother daggers but in truth, he wasn’t lying. He chuckled to himself, leaving the two girls alone. 

Ona smiled as she approached Lucy, it was her cute tipsy smile. Lucy had seen it a few times now, it never got any less cute. Lucy turned round, her back to the sink, facing the shorter girl. 

“Are you having a good time?” 

Ona walked up to the taller brunette and took the glass from Lucy's hand, making sure her fingers lingered on hers.

“I am. Your neighbours are fun. They can dance!” Ona giggled.

“Yeah, they do like a good time. Garry's having fun with you.” Lucy chuckled as she drank her drink.

“Hmm, sounds like someone jealous.” Ona chuckled.

“What if I am?”

“You? No, you're not jealous.” Ona teased.

“Well, I haven't had a chance to dance with you yet.”

Ona stepped a little closer to Lucy. Her brown eyes looked up at the taller girl. “You can dance with me.”

“Yeah?” 

“All you have to do is ask. I’d be all yours.” Ona whispered. 

Lucy could feel her body gravitating towards Ona, she couldn't take her eyes off of her lips. Her heart was in her throat. Was this about to finally happen? 

Ona licked her own lips. Her hands were sweating. She had wanted this for so long.

“All mine?” Lucy's words were just above a whisper.

“Sí.” Ona closed her eyes as she was finally about to kiss the girl she loved.

The girls lips were inches apart, months of wanting this exact moment, finally seconds away. Until a roar of laughter came tumbling into the kitchen. Lucy's dad and two other neighbours were completely unaware they had just ruined the moment.

Ona jumped from the commotion, automatically stepping back from their bubble. Lucy closed her eyes in frustration, she could have killed her dad. Ona eyed the brunette a shy smile on her face as she drank her drink. 

“Lucy, Ona! We’re doing shots. Come on, get over here.” Lucy’s dad laughed.

The girls eyed each other, both hungry with lust. It was clear what they both wanted now. Both girls had leaned in, both wanted the kiss, there was no mistaking the heat between them. 

The night got later, everyone continued to dance and drink, including Lucy and Ona, both girls stole glances throughout the night. Lucy wanted nothing more than to take Ona upstairs and have some time with the girl but the house was full. People would look for them within a couple of minutes, she'd have to wait. She just didn't know how long.

—-----------

“Night Garry, night Pauline. I’ll see you next week.” Lucy's mum slurred as she closed the front door, saying her goodbyes to the last guess.

“Okay mum, we're off to bed.” Lucy yawned.

“Okay, sleep well. I think you have a new admirer, Ona. Gary wouldn't leave you alone.” Lucy's mum winked.

Ona chuckled. “I know, I couldn't even keep up with his dancing!”

“He is funny. Alright girls. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Try to keep it quiet. The walls are thin!” Kevin laughed, but his laugh was cut off as his mum slapped him beside the head.

Lucy shut her bedroom door behind her, Ona stumbled in front of her, she was definitely more drunk than Lucy. The older brunette had slowed down her drinking, knowing she had a 4 hour drive home, also Ona was a lightweight when it came to drinking. 

The Spaniard  smiled as she looked over the pictures on the dresser, she hadn't noticed them until now. One in particular caught her eye, if it wasn't for the 90s clothing she would have thought it was Rudy. It was Lucy as a child with a cheeky smile that she still made now, she had her arm around a blonde girl, laughing and pointing at Lucy.  

She casted her eyes over the other pictures, the same blonde girl was in a picture with Lucy but it was years later, similar poses, the blonde laughing and Lucy looking as cheeky as always.

“Whos this?” Ona picked up the picture smiling. 

Lucy walked over, she looked at the picture and felt her heart sink.

“That's Sophie, she was my best friend.”

Ona noticed the sadness in Lucy's voice straight away.

“I’m sorry. Are you no longer friends?”

Lucy shook her head. “No, we never argued. We were friends since we were 4, she moved in a few doors down. Our mums became friends and then we naturally became closer.”

Ona smiled as she listened to Lucy. She continued.

“We did everything together. If I was there, so was she. She even worked with me on the force.” She chuckled. “Sarina made us partners at the same time. We couldn't believe it.” Lucy's eyes became watery. “We were on an early morning raid. Like we had done 100 times before. The house was declared clear. We went inside to collect evidence, but there was a man hiding inside the house. He shot her. She died before the ambulance even arrived.” 

Ona felt her own eyes watering as she watched a single tear fall from Lucy's face. 

“Sorry. Bladdy drink.” Lucy sniffled.

Ona grabbed Lucy in a hug like she had done for the smaller girl before. 

“I’m so sorry Lucy.” She rubbed the taller girls back soothingly. 

“Thank you.” 

The girls spoke about Lucy and Sophie and the antics they got into when they were young. The holidays they had been on, the night clubs they had been kicked out of. Ona couldn't stop the smile on her face, it was like learning a whole new side of Lucy. The older brunette's face lit up talking about her memories with her childhood best friend. It broke Ona’s heart that Lucy had been holding this all in, all the pain she had been through. 

The girls had found themselves laying on the bed, both their eyes slowly closing as they spoke. It was Onas eyes that closed first, mumbling about something Lucy couldn't really understand.

“Okay, let's get to bed.”

Ona groaned like a child “Can you get my clothes?”

Lucy playful rolled her eyes, a drunk Ona was a very cute Ona. She grabbed the girl's pj from her bag and threw them towards Ona. 

“Here you go.”  She chuckled as Ona groaned again.

Lucy looked in her own bag for her pjs. She couldn't help but feel a lot lighter, she hadn't talked about some of those memories since she had lost her best friend. It had been hard for the girl to talk about Sophie over the years, it was hard for her to find the strength to talk about her. But for some reason she felt completely comfortable talking to Ona about her, about their memories, about the bad days and the good days.

Lucy turned around to find Ona half dressed, her bottoms were on but her bed top was wrapped around arms.

“You okay there?” 

Ona flopped on the bed, her t-shirt trapping her arms. 

“Help me.”

Lucy chuckled, she walked over to the younger brunette, she helped her pull her shirt down, over her toned stomach. 

“Thank you Luce.” Ona crawled up to the top of the bed, snuggling herself beneath the covers. Lucy quickly changed, feeling sleep take over her own body. She finally climbed into the bed next to Ona. Turning off the light.

“You have soft lips.” Ona mumbled.

“What?” Lucy chuckled.

“I felt you kiss me in the morning, on my neck. You have soft lips.” 

“Oh…I’m sor-,” Lucy stuttered. 

“It's okay. I really liked it.” Ona whispered.

“So did I.”

“I just wish it was my lips.” 

Lucy smiled shyly, her heart fluttered. When she kissed Ona this morning she didn't do it in a sexual or seedy way. She had woken to Ona pushing herself into her. Her lips were already on Ona when she woke up. So when she woke she didn't think twice, she pressed her lips to her milky skin. 

"I wanna kiss you, Luce."

Lucy wanted to but Ona was drunk, she didn't want their first kiss like this.

“I want to so badly, but maybe when we’re not drunk? Ask me again when you're sober?"

Ona smiled. "Okay, I'll ask again."

It only took a minute before Ona was snoring.

The next morning Ona woke up to an empty bed, she then heard what sounded like the shower running. She was pleasantly surprised she wasn't as hungover as she would have thought, just a small headache, but nothing more. The bathroom door opened to a fresh face looking Lucy.

“Morning sleepy head.” Lucy smiled.

“Morning.” Ona stretched.

“How you feeling?” Lucy started to brush out her wet hair.

“Not too bad, you?”

“A little headache but nothing a full english and paracetamol can't handle.”

“Yes! I love the English breakfast!” Ona kicked her feet excitedly.

“Good, my mum goes OTT, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” 

“Can I shower before we go down?” Ona climbed out of the bed.

“Of course. I put a fresh towel in there for you.”

The girls got ready for breakfast, and like Lucy promised, her mum had gone in on the food, she had cooked the works and more. She placed a full English breakfast in front of a very hungry Ona. 

“Thank you!” 

“You let me know if you want anything else, I've got plenty to go.”

The kitchen was a hub of chatter as everyone talked about the night before, laughing at jokes and teasing Ona that she had a new admirer. She couldn't help but still glances at Lucy as they all laughed. The time finally came for the girls to get ready for their drive home. 

Everyone waited at the front door as the girls came to the door.

Lucys mum opened her arms out grabbing Ona in a hug, while Lucy hugged her dad.

“Oh Ona, thank you so much for spending Christmas with us. You are welcome anytime, I hope you know that.” 

Ona hugged back as much as she physically could. “Thank you so much. This has been one of the best Christmases I've ever had. You made me feel so special. Thank you.”

Lucy's dad hugged his daughter tightly. “She's a good one. Do something about it.” 

Lucy smiled, even her dad could see right through her. She hugged him tighter. 

“Make sure to drive slow. Don't go faster than you need to, stay in the slow lane.” Her mum warned.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, Been driving for 10 plus years now.” 

Rudy grabbed Ona’s legs. “Bye Ona.” 

Ona knelt down and hugged the mini Lucy. “Goodbye Rudy. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye pip squeak.” Lucy held her arms open for Rudy. The little girl giggled as she flung herself into Lucy.

The girls said their goodbyes to everyone, and got in Lucy's car. 

There had been a thick buzz between the girls since the morning. Their chat last night wasn't forgotten between the pair, but neither had said anything about it. But they didn't need to, they both knew what they wanted. It was just a 4 hour drive away. 

Finally they pulled up to Ona’s flat, helping her Ona with her bags. Lucy followed Ona into her flat, she smiled as she looked around the new space.

“You’ve got a nice place here.” Lucy lowered the bags. 

The shorter brunette walked up to Lucy. “Do you wanna see my bedroom?” 

“More than anything.” Lucy whispered. She cupped Ona’s face into her hands, she lowered herself to Ona’s lips, the lips she had wanted to kiss for months. 

Finally, their lips met. It was soft and sweet. There was no rushing, no pushing, just their lips exploring the other. Even though they had waited so long for this, they didn't want to rush. Both girls were finally getting what they had wanted for the longest time, they wanted to make the first kiss last.

But as soon as Lucy slipped her tongue into the mix and made Ona whimper, all the above went out the window. She couldn't hold back any longer. Lucy’s tilted Ona’s head back just a fraction, pushing the girl for a deeper kiss. Ona whimpered again, letting Lucy take full control of their movements. The kisses started to become messy and loud, the girls were clearly hungry for each other. The months, weeks, days of wanting, were finally here. 

“Where’s your room?” 

“First door on the left.”

The taller girl grabbed Ona by the waist lifting her up. Ona giggled as she wrapped her legs around Lucy’s waist, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about this exact moment for a long time. 

Lucy carried the shorter girl to the bedroom, never letting their lips come apart. She walked into the open bedroom and gently lowered Ona on the bed below, laying her body on the girl beneath her. Her lips attacked Ona’s neck, sucking and kissing at the soft skin. 

“Fuck, Lucy.” Ona gasped. 

Lucy smirked proudly hearing Ona moan her name. She continued her actions, leaving small red marks everywhere her mouth touched, loving the noises she was pulling from Ona. She couldn't stop her hips from grinding into the girl, her desperate moans making Lucys pussy throb. She finally pulled back. 

“Can I take this off?” She pulled the bottom of Ona’s top.

“Yes, take it off. All of it.” She panted as she sat up.

Lucy nodded. She removed Ona’s top, then her bra, revealing her beautiful breast. She couldn't stop herself from kissing the girl's stomach. She watched as Ona’s tight abs flexed, feeling Lucy's mouth on her skin. She continued to kiss down Ona’s stomach as she popped open the girl's jeans. She quickly undone her zip and began to pull down the clothing. She looked at the girl below her, taking in her beautiful body. Her gold necklace stood out against her milky skin. 

“You too.” Ona pulled at Lucy’s top.

Lucy smiled at the girl below her, she did as the Spaniard asked and removed her clothing. Ona stared at the girl standing above her, Lucy's body was unreal, her muscular arms flexed as she pulled her clothing off. She was truly stunning. Ona sat up, she attached her mouth to Lucy's stomach, sucking on her tight skin as she undone her jeans, wanting to move this along.

Ona spotted the wet patch seeping through the fabric between Lucy's legs, smiling playfully as she eyed the older brunette. 

“Can I take these off?”

Lucy looked down at the girl, her bright brown eyes looking up at her with so much lust, so much want. It only added to the wetness pooling in between Lucy's legs.

“Yeah.” She swallowed.

Ona slowly pulled down the fabric, she let out a sigh as she saw the shiny arousal sticking to Lucy's lips. She began to kiss Lucy's thighs, getting closer to the area she wanted most, she could smell how aroused Lucy was, her own wetness dripping between her legs. 

She got closer to the sweet spot, her lips kissed Lucy's wet sensitive lips, jolting as she felt Ona. 

Ona dipped her tongue between Lucy's lips, coating her tongue in the girl's juices. Lucy gasped as her head rolled back. Ona took another long lick hitting Lucy's already swollen clit, groaning as she tasted the girl above. 

Lucy watched as Ona started to lap at her pussy, she gently stroked the younger girl's face, her fingertips brushed at her hair. She softly undid the girl's bun, hair long hair fell down her back. Lucy cradled Ona’s head as she moved her hips, rocking herself into her talented mouth. 

Ona sighed as Lucy ran her fingers through her scalp, making her shiver from the touch. 

“Ona. Your mouth. Fuck, you’re so good.”

Ona let out a low chuckle, making Lucy gasp from the vibration. She continued to lick at Lucy's cunt, swallowing her arousal every couple of minutes. Lucy gripped Ona’s hair, fucking her face gently as the girl pleasured her. She began to pick up the pace of her hips as she felt her orgasm spread up her body.

“I’m going to come.”

Ona groaned, she continued her movements, keeping the pace Lucy needed. Lucy gripped at Ona’s hair, pushing her closer between her legs. Her legs started to shake as she felt the warm sensation rise up from her stomach.

“That's it. Ona, don’t stop. Good girl. That’s soo good.”

As she came she pushed the girl's head closer to her core, needing the girl ever closer to her, her tongue was suckling her clit perfectly. She rode out her orgasm as long as she could. Ona could feel Lucy's orgasm washing over her mouth. Lucy gasped as Ona carried on licking her through the come down, she stroked her hair, allowing the girl to clean her up. She rocked her hips into her mouth for a couple more minutes, feeling Ona’s tongue against her.

“Wow, you’re talented.” Lucy chuckled.

Ona pulled back, her mouth was dripping with Lucy’s fluids. She panted as her cheeks turned a shade of pink from the compliment.

“You taste even better than I imagined.” 

“Have you imagined it a lot?” Lucy whispered. 

Ona nodded, smirking devilishly. “A lot.”

“Fuck.” 

Lucy leaned down, capturing Ona’s lips with her own, she moaned as she tasted herself on the girl. Ona’s cunt was throbbing she whimpered as Lucy began to pull her thongs down. The younger brunette  sighed as she felt the cold air hit her painfully sensitive pussy. Lucy smirked as she threw the ruined thongs over her shoulder. She looked down at Ona’s drenched pussy.

“Is that how wet you get just from making me come? Making me feel so good?” 

Ona bit her lip and nodded, not able to form words. 

“You’re amazing.” 

Lucy dipped her pointer finger between Ona’s velvety folds, groaning at the wetness. Ona jumped at the contact as Lucy just barely touched her. Lucy pushed her finger into her mouth.

“You taste so fucking good.” 

Ona panted below, desperately needing anything Lucy would give to her. Lucy placed her hand back between Ona’s spread legs, stroking her finger through her sensitive flesh. She dipped her finger into Ona’s cunt, her tight muscles flexing around her digit.

“Lucy.” 

“I love when you say my name.” Lucy growled as she began to fuck Ona. 

The younger girl let out soft moans as Lucy picked up the pace, she easily pushed another finger inside her, cutting off Ona’s crys with a deep kiss. 

“Lucy.” Ona was starting to whimper, the older girl closed her eyes, listening to the way the Spaniard moaned her name, her own pussy becoming wet again, just from the sounds of the girl.

Lucy began to kiss down Ona’s body, she sucked in Ona’s nipple, loving the way Ona’s head rolled back. She then moved over to the other side, giving it just as much attention. The girl's small body began to roll, her noises were becoming louder as Lucy’s fingers relentless fucked her.

She moved further down, gliding her tongue over Ona’s abs. The shorter girl squirmed as she felt Lucy's tongue move skirt over her flesh. Lucy began to kiss Ona’s pubic bone, loving the way she moaned. She felt the younger girl's hand thread into her hair, pushing her close to where she clearly wanted her. Lucy smiled as she kissed lower and lower. 

Finally, Lucy wrapped her lips around Ona’s swollen clit, the cry she let out was music to the older girl's ears. The hand in her hair tightened as she worked the girl's body, her fingers picked up a faster pace, causing Ona’s back to curve. Her vision began to blur as Lucy kept up the beautiful pleasure on her body. 

“Lucy!”

Lucy only hummed, not wanting to stop, she could feel Ona was getting close, her legs began to shake as her cunt tightened on her fingers, squeezing them tightly. Ona couldn't believe the way Lucy was pushing her body, she could feel her head becoming dizzy, she scrunched her eyes shut she felt the warm sensation prickle her skin.

“Merda! Lucyyyy!”

The hands pushed her further into her cunt, guiding her head up and down, Lucy loved the way Ona was controlling her movements to do what she wanted. Then she felt it before she heard it. Ona became silent, her body went rigid, but Lucy didn’t stop, she suckled and fucked Ona until she pushed her over that edge. 

“Lu-Lu….Lucyyyyyy!” 

Ona came, loud and hard. Her thighs clamped around Lucy's head as she rode out her orgasm. Her hips thrusted into Lucy's mouth as she felt her legs start to give in, panting loudly as Lucy kept up her movements. Finally the girl's body went limp, her chest was panting fast as she tried to catch her breath. 

Lucy slowly took her fingers out of Ona. She couldn't stop the smile on her face seeing the girl benather her looking completely wrecked.

“You okay?” 

“Lucy. Merda. Fuck.”

Lucy laid next to the girl laughing at her gaping face. 

She couldn't help but kiss the girl, she could definitely get used to this site. 

The girls laid with each other for another hour talking about the last couple of months.

“So when I saw you dance with her I just lost it. It was so selfish of me. I regret it so much.” Lucy stroked Ona’s back as she explained herself. 

Ona listened, she didn't hold any grudges, she would have probably done what Lucy did, maybe not as cold, but they were different people. They handled things differently. 

“When I saw you on the bridge, it made me realise just how stupid I was being. I needed to sort it out even if you didn't want me like that. I at least wanted you as a friend.”

Ona smiled as she kissed Lucy, she couldn't believe they had wanted each other for so long, and not see it as clear as everyone around them. The girls were in bliss, finally they got what they wanted. They spent the next couple of days of the Christmas break with each other, learning everything they could about the other. 

Learning everything they could about each other's bodies, what she liked, what she didn't like. What she sounded like after 3 orgasms in a row. How Ona liked her hair pulled when she fucked Lucy with her fingers. How Lucy liked to watch Ona when she rode her with a strap. And so much more.

 Everything was perfect. 

But the short Christmas break ended and work came, so the girls decided to spend a night apart. Even though it killed them to do it, they knew they needed to have at least a day apart, they would see each other the next morning when Lucy picked up Ona for work.

Lucy stood at Ona’s door. Kissing the shorter girl deeply, holding her body next to hers. 

“I’ll miss you.” Ona whispered.

“I’ll miss you too. I’ll call you when I get in?”

Ona nodded, she looked up at Lucy giving her those big brown doe eyes. Making it so much harder for Lucy to leave. 

“Onaaaa. Don’t”

The shorter girl giggled. “Sorry. Go, call me when you get in.” 

—------- 

Lucy yawned as she drove to pick up Ona. The girls had spoken late into the night, not going to bed till late. But Lucy had a new spring in her step, she felt so happy. She finally got the girl that she loved, yeah loved. It was the start of love, both girls felt it, neither saying anything as this was new, but they both felt it. 

She was surprised when she didn't see Ona sitting at her usual spot on the wall. She had never been late. Maybe she slept in from their late night call. She pulled up the car like she normally did. Maybe she was in a queue at the coffee shop? Lucy sat there for a moment, she texted Ona to say she was outside, but didn't get a text back. Lucy eyed up Ona’s building, something didn't feel right .

She got out of the car and walked to the wall where Ona sat, that's when she felt a cold shiver run down her spine. She spotted two coffee cups spilt on the floor. It was the coffee shop where Ona got their drinks. She felt the blood drain from her face. Where was Ona?

[yourimagines]

Hi, can you perhaps write a one shot about the new fallout series. Perhaps about Maximus?

love your stories ❤️

Sure, I really like the series, as a gamer myself.

I hope you like this one ❤️

Wanderer

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: Swearing, Blood, and Fluff

Y/N POV

The sun was shining down on me as I walked through the desert waste land. Sweat and blood were dripping down my skin, a bullet hole was on my right side of my shoulder and the headache I was having was getting worse by the minute. “I think I’m going crazy…” A loud explosion was heard in the distance, a shot of pain shoot through my head, causing me to shut my eyes. “Ahh…” my hand went up to my face as I fell down on my knees. “Please don’t let me die…” I slowly opened my eyes, trying to stay awake. My vision was blurry and my knees started to hurt from all the hot sand beneath them. I slowly fell flat down on my chest as a shadow started to cover me, I tilted my head up and saw something standing close to me. My eyes slowly rolled back and my face fell down again as I lost my consciousness.

Everything was pitch black, a weird uncomfortable feeling was flowing through my body. I felt heavy but also light, as something was carrying me. I tried everything, moving my arms, opening my eyes but nothing happened so panic started to creep in. I felt trapped in my own body without knowing what was happening to me.

Maximus POV

I saw a beautiful young woman wandering all alone under the desert sun, she was almost passed out when I spotted her. She’s probably wounded and dehydrated from all the heat. So I thought let’s go help her out, look if she needs some help but when I finally got to her she fell down, losing her consciousness. “I’ve got you.” I carefully picked her up and carried her out of the burning sun. She looked beautiful, she’s not from up here as her blue, yellow clothing and she wasn’t smelling bad, she had access to water. She could be from a vault or something.

I lay her down on the cold floor and checked her for some injuries. She had a view cuts and one bullet hole on the right side of her shoulder. I carefully took a better look at her shoulder and saw that the bullet went all the way through her shoulder, meaning it wasn’t there anymore. “You need a sting pack immediately.” I got out of my suit and grabbed the sting pack from my left arm. I kneeled down next to her and carefully injected the needle into her soft skin. “You’re going to be okay.”

Y/N POV

I woke up all alone in an old building with a sore shoulder. “Urgh…” my head was still pounding from all the heat and dehydration. I slowly sat up and saw a young man sitting in front of me, smiling at me. “Hi.” His voice sounded low and soft as he greeted me. “Hi.” My voice sounded a bit hoarse and not so sweet as usual. “You passed out because you were wounded, I fixed that problem for you.” He pointed at my shoulder. “Thank you….” “Maximus. My name is Maximus.” I nodded and took a look at my shoulder. “Why? Why did you help me, Maximus?” My shoulder was still hurting but the wound itself was looking way better than it was before. “Why not?” I looked back at him, he looked a bit confused. “Because we don’t know each other, I could have killed you.” He shrugged his shoulders and looks down at his hands. “Maybe but you needed help. And I do the right thing by helping people.”

Maximus POV

She was right but that’s not how I want to be, ignoring the people who need my help. I’m a knight now and I should help them. “Okay, well maybe I can help you out then, so tell me where are you heading?” “Las Vegas, I’m on a mission to save the world.” I saw her lips curl up, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, Yeah, I know it sounds stupid…” she shook her head as her cheeks got a rosy colour. “No it’s not, I-I’m also on my way to Las Vegas.” I was surprised, she was going to the same place. “Why?” “To find the person who shot me.” She pointed at her shoulder. “Okay, well we could go together, I mean it’s better than travelling alone.” She nodded and stood up. “Okay, let’s go then.” I smiled and stood up as well. “Have you ever flown before?”

She was clinging onto the suit as I flew us through the air. “Are you okay?” She had her eyes closed, probably afraid of falling down. She only nodded and I knew that I needed to land. I slowly went down and wrapped my arm around her as my feet touched the ground. She carefully opened her eyes and saw we were back on the ground. “We walk the rest.” I slowly placed her down on the ground. She nods and starts to walk.

Y/N POV

Max was a great companion to have in these harsh conditions. The loneliness was getting to my head and everyone I met wanted to kill me, just because I’m from a vault. “We should take a rest.” His robotic voice said to me. “Yeah, my legs hurt.” I sat down against an old wall, just out of the sun. He did the same but still in his suit. “You should take some sleep, you need it for your shoulder.” I wasn’t sure about that one, sleeping with a stranger. Yes he saved me but who says he doesn’t do anything to me, like selling me for caps. “I won’t do anything to you, I trust you and you should trust me. We are companions now.” I nodded and tried to get comfortable but everything felt uncomfortable. “I can’t, my shoulder hurts and the sand irritates my skin.” I felt a mental breakdown coming up as my eyes started to prick. “Come here.” He patted on his lap and I got shy. “Uhh you sure?” He nods and moved his legs a bit, getting comfortable by himself. I moved shyly to him and crawled into his lap. “Better right?” I was blushing very hard and hide my face against his metal chest. “I’ll keep watch, just rest a bit.”

I don’t want to admit it but I slept very good on his metal suit. His suit was cold outside the sun and it made me feel better. “Are you okay?” He asks me as we walked through the dessert again. “Yes, are you?” He nods and looks around. “I think we are almost there.” I stayed close to him as we walked over a hill. “I think we are here.” I said as I pointed to the city down the hill. “Well, thank you for your company Maximus.” I said to him, he nodded slowly and looked back at the town. “You sure you want to do this on your own?” I sighed and nodded. “Yes, we both have a different mission to achieve, but after this I would love to be your companion again.” He walks over to me and his large robotic hand moved up to my head. “Be careful.” I smiled up at him, feeling the butterflies in my stomach. “I will, be careful as well Max.” With that I walked away from him, heading to my own battle I had to fight as he flew over me, to fight his battle on his own.

[httpscomexe]

Please make an uncomfortable elevator one where she’s trapped with Logan, but she’s got Wades personality

Blabbermouth

Logan Howlett x Avenger!Reader

1339 words.

Warnings: Blood, mention of child death, sadness, hiding emotions.

(Wade, Logan, and reader are all Avengers in this)

I don't know I think this was horrible but anyways

“See ya.”

“See ya honey cheeks.” Wade walks out of the elevator, leaving you alone in the little box.

As soon as you’re alone, you let a single tear fall, and you look down at the ground, kicking at nothing with your blood covered boots.

Another successful, bloody, gruesome mission complete.

You were relieved your next mission wouldn’t be until next week, but it wouldn’t be any better than today's mission which was packed with blood, only the presence of your favourite mercenary was there to keep you comforted.

Your only friend.

The only one who really knew you.

The elevator door opens five floors before it should reach your floor, and as you throw on a smile, a rather grumpy face is there to greet you. Wolverine. Or Logan, as he’s told you to call him. Of course, you have a different nickname.

“Hey Wolvie, how’s it going?”

“Stop calling me that.” Was all he told you, stepping into the elevator, keeping as far away from you as possible. He’s never liked you. Apparently, you’re like a spitting replica of Wade's personality. What makes it worse is he couldn’t stab you when you were annoying like he could with Wade, unfortunately you aren’t exactly able to regenerate limbs.

“So grumpy.”

“Shut up.”

“Wade did tell me it’s that time of the month for you.” Your eyes move to his, and he looks even more pissed than before. But it was true, he’s been more pissed than normal today.

“Should’ve taken the stairs.” He mumbles to himself as the elevator doors close. Now there was no escape for him.

“And miss out on little old me?”

“That exactly.” He growls.

“Oh I ain’t that bad.”

“You’re fucking horrible.”

“Wade’s worse.”

“Sometimes you are, and right now, you’re the worst.”

You turn away from him, the elevator number rising by one floor.

“You're lucky you missed Wade then.” You tell him, staring at the wall. “He wouldn’t stop talking about Mario.” You shrug. “I guess that’s his interest today.”

“Haven’t I asked you to shut up?”

“Not nicely.”

“Please, shut the fuck up.”

“That wasn’t much different.”

Then the elevator shakes as it stops, jolting you both backwards against the furthest wall from the doors. It fucking stopped? You were in a multibillion dollar building and the elevator breaks?

“Oh you’re fucking joking.” He growls, then walks to the doors and puts all of his strength in to pry the doors open. Of course, all that was there was a brick wall.

He looks up, and the ceiling of course is metal.

Then the lights turn off, and the little area is only illuminated by the bright buttons with numbers on them. Of course, there also wasn’t a fucking emergency button. Damn you Stark.

“I’m sure it won’t last long.” You tell him.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m just being optimistic.”

“And I’m thinking optimistic, make it true.”

You purse your lips together, today wasn’t the day for you to bother talking to Logan.

“Of course, the one fucking time the elevator breaks down it’s with you in it.” You bite your lip a little, a stupid joke comes to your mind, and you open your mouth to say it, but instead, a broken sort of cry comes out, a knot forming in your throat.

Pulling your phone out, you try to text Wade, hoping he could call security to let them know the elevator is down, but of course, you have no service.

“Are you able to call someone?” You shake your head, knowing if you speak that you’ll start to cry, so you just shove your phone back in your pocket, your hands following. “Doesn’t Wade know you’re in here?” You nod. “You gonna fucking talk?”

“You told me to shut up.” Your voice is quiet, and in the darkness you see his eyes squint in confusion.

“Yea and since when the fuck does that work?”

“I think it’s your turn to shut up Logan.” You don’t face him, knowing one more word would make your tears fall. You did not have enough energy in you to sustain another insult today.

“Logan?” Your eyes found him again, and he could see you weren’t pissed, rather something else. “You don’t ever call me that, what’s wrong?”

“Please stop talking to me.” Your voice cracks when you say please, and you play it off by clearing your throat. Then you notice how he looks you up and down, studying you. Covered in blood from neck to toe, with some generous splashes of blood on your cheek as well. But you were careful not to get any in your hair. It wasn’t fun to wash out when it bunched up.

“Did Wade piss you off?” You don’t answer him. “Was it me?” You continue not to speak, your eyes staring into the wall. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It wasn’t you.” You tell him, hoping to shut him up.

“Well I doubt it was Wade.”

“Please-”

“Don’t.” He interrupts you, then walks closer to you. “Tell me what’s going on? Was it your mission?” You swallow. Then you nod. Might as well since you’re stuck with him.

“Didn’t go to plan…” You breathe out.

“I was told it went perfectly.”

“Maybe from the agent's point of view, it wasn't so pretty from mine.”

“Since when has blood bothered you?”

“Since it was a childs…”

He snaps his mouth shut. Yea, you were just like Wade, but you were just a kid. Not even twenty years old, but you were forced to work with the Avengers anyways. According to Fury, you had too much power to just casually wander the streets.

You jump a little. His arms wrapping around you in a hug.

“Lo-”

“Shh…” He continues to hold you, and you hesitate for a moment before returning the hug. Your arms loose around his waist at first. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what had happened.”

You squeeze him tighter, the side of your head pushed against his chest as tears begin to fall from your eyes.

“I know how you feel.” He tells you, his voice so soft, it was something you’d never expect. “You might’ve won the mission… but it all feels so wrong when someone innocent…” He pauses, holding you tighter as you cry. “I’m so sorry that happened.”

You’re both quiet, just hugging in the dark as you wait for someone to find out the elevator was down. Neither of you knew how long that could take.

“I was coming up to see you?” What? You didn’t even think about it before. He was five floors under you, but he was going up. He didn’t have a room on your floor.

“Why?”

“Just to talk…” He admits, and you’re so confused.

“You don’t like talking to me though Logan…”

“Yes, I do.” He tells you, leaning back a little as his hands cup your face. “I love talking to you, it’s Wade that’s the damned blabbermouth. But I know there’s more to you than that. You’re not all jokes.” He gently moves some of your fallen hair behind your ear. “You actually know when to take things seriously unlike him.” You chuckle a little. It was true.

“I still annoy you.” You remember him telling you it one day, and it’s never left your mind.

“Everyone does. But for some reason…” His thumb moves across your cheek, wiping a tear from your face. “I hate to admit it here and at this moment, but you’re the one person who I don’t mind annoying me.” He tells you, making the corner of your lips curl a little in a soft smile.

“Oh…” You sniffle a little… “I thought- I thought you hated me.”

“I can never hate you, Y/N.” He pulls you in again, another hug, it feels lighter, more heartfelt. “And don’t ever call me Logan again.” He whispers, the elevator lights turning on again as he speaks, making you look around a little.

“It’s Wolvie to you.”

[dixons-sunshine]

Yielding Isn't My Middle Name—Chapter Three | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Chapter Summary: Your suspicions regarding the community you were trapped in only heightened with each passing second. Daryl was mad at you, and you had confirmation that you were pregnant. Things couldn't get worse, could it?

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of pregnancy, blood and injuries.

Word count: 2.7k.

A/n: I feel like this is all over the place, plot-wise. However, another chapter was highly requested (by a few anons asking about it), so I stuck it out and this was born. I also feel like it ends on an awkward note, but I wanted to end it on a cliffhanger. I don't know if I did it right lol. Anyways, I hope you like this!

Taglist: @dixons-girl89 @jupiter1700 @enlightndone @shadowcitrine @ddamm @caseylicious @celtic-crossbow

“Alright, then.” Doctor Owen Miller tightly secured the bandage around Daryl's wrist. “The bandages should be able to come off in two to three days. The rope burns weren't that severe. You can feel really lucky about that.”

The doctor's suspiciously friendly voice barely reached the archer's ears. His ocean coloured eyes stared off at nothing in particular, his mind desperately attempting to wrap around that one pivotal fact the doctor had accidentally exposed to the unsuspecting father. Due to that fact, about a million thoughts were flooding through his brain—pregnant. You're pregnant. Baby. Father. He was going to be a father. He needed to get you out of there. He needed to keep you safe.

“Liam should be made aware that I expect to see the lady again tomorrow,” Doctor Owen told Mariah, subtly motioning over to you. “With the beating Peter gave her, I want to monitor the baby. I want to ensure that these two don't lose their child due to that asshole's—” The doctor cut himself off and took a deep breath before continuing. “Peter's recklessness. Please bring that to his attention.” With that, the doctor walked towards the door and opened it, momentarily stopping to add one last thing. “I'm off for the rest of day. Don't forget to lock up once your done.”

Mariah nodded as she helped you from the bed, careful not to disturb your injuries. “Of course.” She turned towards you and gave you a hesitant smile. “Ma'am, how are you feeling?”

How were you feeling? There were at least a million answers to that question: Slightly happy. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. But above all else? Overwhelmed. You were truly and undeniably extremely overwhelmed. You now had concrete evidence that you had a life growing within you, and although you were ecstatic at the news, you knew there were far more pressing matters at hand. For one, you were a thousand percent sure that your husband was pissed at you for keeping your pregnancy a secret and insisting on going with him beyond the safety the walls of Alexandria provided. On another note, you were even more certain that the supposed safe zone the two of you found yourselves trapped in wasn't all what Liam was making it out to be. That almost definitely meant that blood would be shed when you and Daryl attempted your escapes.

“Ma'am?” Mariah prompted, snapping her fingers in your face to grab your attention. “How are you feeling?” she repeated the question in a softer tone.

You shrugged and cast your eyes down towards your feet. “Okay, I guess,” you mumbled out weakly, your voice unknowingly snapping Daryl out of his trance and redirecting his fiery gaze to you. “I've had it way worse than this before.”

Mariah chuckled before she took a step back. “I bet,” she began, picking up the tray with the various tools and ointments that were used to clean and fix up your wounds. “You look like a real tough gal. You wouldn't have survived if you didn't get roughed up a couple of times, right?”

“Right,” you agreed in a mutter, your eyes hesitantly moving to meet those of your husband. You flinched a bit when you were met with a glare, but you didn't blame him. You knew he'd be pissed, and rightfully so. You just didn't expect him to be so open about his anger. Well, open by your standards. To the regular eye, his anger would be mistaken for the signature Daryl scowl, but you knew better. This was different. He was angry. And he was angry at you, which made it so much worse.

Mariah placed the tray on one of the tables before turning back to face you and Daryl. However, before she could speak up, a voice could be heard through the room; a voice that you had grown to know and hate, all within a few... Minutes? Hours? You didn't even know at this point.

“Mariah, love,” the voice of your captor, Liam, rung through the air from the walkie talkie that was sat on one of the shelves. “It was just brought to my attention that Doctor Miller is done with the new recruits. Please bring them up to the house for me.”

Mariah sighed, her steadily relaxing demeanour being replaced by that earlier nervous, mouse-like stature she had when you had originally met her. She walked towards the door and opened it. “Please follow me,” she squeaked out nervously, her eyes darting around.

You slowly walked towards her, not sparing Daryl a glance because you didn't want to see the anger behind those beautiful blue eyes of his. Besides, as mad as the archer was at you, he would never let you face that man alone. He would much rather die, that much you knew.

Daryl grumbled to himself and followed behind you, proving your point. Together, in silence, the two of you followed the woman out of the makeshift medical building and up to the big farmhouse you vaguely remembered spotting earlier—the farmhouse Liam had mentioned you and Daryl would be staying in with him. In no time at all, the three of you were walking up the steps of the majestic, white home, and in through the front door.

The inside of the home looked even more beautiful than the outside. It seemed as if though the horrors of the outside world were never heard of for this house. The floors were shining, the walls were decorated with all sorts of artwork, and there was even a television resting in the living room. However, you doubted the object even worked, because you hadn't spotted solar panels or anything that could generate power, so the thing was more of a decoration than anything else.

You were snapped out of your rather unnecessary train of thought by the feeling of someone's hand resting on your shoulder. The touch was all too familiar—it was your husband who was resting his hand on your shoulder. A subtle glance to your left proved your suspicions correct. So your husband didn't hate you. You considered that a win. However, you were confused as to why he felt the need to do that. He rarely did that in public, unless he was trying to comfort you, or to refrain himself from launching a punch in someone's direction. So why would he—

Your thoughts were cut off by the obnoxious sound of an all too familiar British accented voice. “Ah, well would you look at you?” Liam began as he descended down the stairs, his green eyes alight with invitation. However, whether or not it was genuine, you were yet to find out. “You're looking better, Y/N. Doctor Miller did a good job. A shower and a set of fresh clothes will certainly make you look rather ravishing.” Daryl's hand tightened on your shoulder, and you brought your hand to rest over his, a subtle way of trying to calm him down. Liam noticed, however, and sent Daryl a reassuring smile with a raise of his hands. “Woah, there, champ. No need to get all feisty. I already have a lady of my own. I was just making an observation.”

“Observation, my ass. Shouldn't even be lookin' at her, ya stupid fuck,” you heard Daryl mumble under his breath, and you had to refrain from giggling. Daryl wasn't a jealous guy perse, and he certainly wouldn't stop you from befriending other guys, but he definitely had his moments. Although he had other reasons to want to knock this guy out, it was rather cute to know that he didn't want Liam to look at you that way.

Liam, thankfully, was blissfully unaware of the archer's hateful words, instead turning to regard Mariah, who had been quiet during the whole exchange. “Hey, my beautiful girl,” he greeted her, opening his arms as an invitation for a hug.

Mariah hesitantly walked into his arms, tensing slightly when he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her head. You were sure to make a mental note about that. You didn't know why exactly Mariah was so scared of her husband, but you knew it wasn't good. If his own wife was terrified of him for god knows what reason, you didn't even want to know what he could do to complete strangers.

After he was satisfied with the hug, Liam pulled back and turned back to you and Daryl. He was about to say something until an unknown man barged into the room, breathless and sweating. Liam scowled angrily at the man, swiftly pushing Mariah aside. “Reggie, this better be really fucking important. You know how I feel about being interrupted when interviewing new recruits.”

The man—Reggie—quickly nodded. “I know, I know.” He panted breathlessly and leaned against the wall in an attempt to recapture his breath. “There was a man who demanded to speak to you. He refuses to speak to anyone but the leader.”

Liam stared at Reggie for a few seconds, his face giving absolutely nothing away, until he nodded and turned back to you and Daryl. “Please make yourselves comfortable. I promise I won't be long. Mariah,” he began, turning to his wife and lazily waving towards the door that lead to another room. “Please make our guests something to eat. I'm sure they must be absolutely famished. Oh, and get them something to drink as well.” Liam sent the two of you a smile. “I hope wine is alright. I'd offer up some scotch, but that's really hard to come by and I don't fancy wine that much, you see.”

“Liam!” Reggie exclaimed impatiently. “We got to go!”

“For fuck's sake, alright!” Liam roared loudly, his eyes alight with a fiery glare. He roughly pushed past the man and stormed out of the door, Reggie having to jog behind him to keep up. The door closed behind them with a slam, and just like that, you and Daryl were left alone with Mariah for the second time that day.

Mariah let out a small sigh, and you could see her visibly relax without Liam's presence. It was odd to you that the woman felt more at ease with two complete strangers who could turn around and end up hurting—or killing—her, and it only fueled your reluctance to trust Liam. There was something very off about that man, and you were determined to find out what.

Mariah turned to look at you, her eyes darting between your face and your stomach. “Um, are you sure you want wine? I mean, I don't want to force you to do anything, but—”

“It's okay,” you cut her off, sending her a small, tight-lipped smile. “Water is fine, thank you.”

Mariah nodded and motioned towards the couches. “Please, feel free to make yourselves comfortable. I won't be long.” With that, she scurried off into the kitchen, leaving you and Daryl alone in the living room.

Without the company of others, the air surrounding the two of you got tense very quickly. Neither of you made a move to sit down, but Daryl did move away from you, his warm, comforting touch leaving your shoulder. He refused to make eye contact with you, and it broke your heart. You knew he was mad at you, and he had every right to be, but it certainly didn't mean that it didn't hurt. You were certain it would be up to you to clear the air, and that's what you'd do—whether Mariah heard it or not.

“Daryl—” you began hesitantly, but you were instantly shut down.

“Don't,” he muttered bitterly, his back still turned to you. His shoulders were visibly tensed and even though you couldn't see it, you knew his jaw was as well. He was trying hard not to lash out at you, and you had to give him credit for his self-control.

However, you weren't having any of it. You were nothing if not extremely persistent, so you'd stop at nothing until you'd had a chance to explain yourself. “No, I'm not gonna stop until you've let me speak my mind.”

Daryl whipped around to face you, his eyes finally meeting yours. His eyes were set in a steely glare, but you didn't back down. “Where could ya possibly start explainin' yerself to me?” he spat bitterly. “Yer pregnant and ya kept tha' from me? Ya begged and pleaded to come with me on the run today and put yerself and our baby in danger! Now 'cause'a tha', yer in fuckin' danger. If ya had jus' told me tha' ya were pregnant, maybe things would'a been different. Maybe we would'a been safe back home. Maybe I never would'a suggested the run. Maybe I would'a let Rick come with instead'a ya. Maybe—”

You cut Daryl off by pulling him into a hug, nuzzling your face into his chest. He froze for a few seconds, hesitating to return the hug, but ultimately wrapped his arms around you. He rested his chin on top of your head, closing his eyes as he felt the anger drain from his body. He never could stay mad at you. However, it didn't mean that he wasn't still upset that you were in danger.

“I'm sorry,” you whispered against his chest. “I should've told you I was pregnant, I know that. I just didn't want to say anything until I was a hundred percent sure. That's why I wanted to go on that run with you. I wanted to find a few pregnancy test. I guess I could've just asked you to do that, but I didn't want you to freak out. I was... Scared. I was scared that if you knew that I thought I was pregnant, something would go wrong. I don't know what I expected to go wrong, but I just... I promise I was gonna tell you after I knew for sure. You have to believe me. I—”

“Hey, s'okay,” Daryl reassured you, pulling back to look into your eyes. Daryl was feeling all kinds of bad at that moment. You didn't deserve to be treated like that for any reason, especially not by him. You had your reasons for keeping it a secret from him, and he couldn't blame you for it. He was upset, but the two of you could figure that out later. For now, all he wanted to do was get you the hell out of that place, and to do that, he needed a clear mind. “M'sorry fer reactin' like tha'. M'upset ya didn't tell me, but there ain't nothin' we can do 'bout it now. We jus' have to figure out a way to get the fuck outta here. We can figure the rest out later, alrigh'?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

The two of you practically sprung apart when the door flung open again. However, instead of being met by Liam, you were met by somebody completely different. The man came strutting in like he owned the place. The man stopped and regarded the two of you with an indifferent look. “And you two are?” he questioned, plopping himself down on one of the couches.

You shared a look with Daryl, neither of you making any attempts to answer the question. However, you didn't need to, because Liam soon entered the home as well, sending you and Daryl a suspiciously friendly smile. “Sorry for disappearing, champs,” he began. “He was the one causing an uproar by the gates. This guy can make quite the spectacle when he wants to, don't you, brother?” The two men shared a laugh, before Liam calmed down and regarded the two of you. A look of realization dawned on his face, and he hit his forehead with his palm. “Oh, how rude of me. Allow me to introduce him. This is Lucas Davis, my brother and right-hand man.”

The man—Lucas—sent you a small smirk, his eyes trailing you up and down. And for some reason, you knew that the arrival of this man would only mean trouble.

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.

[featherandferns]

daylight - five

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 5 of the daylight series | read part 4 here

content warnings: sexual content (f receiving); alcohol

word count: 3k.

blurb: after avoiding JJ for a week, the two of you end up trapped together in the Chateau during a storm.

Whilst Mimsy’s advice was golden, you promptly ignored it. Avoided JJ like the plague. Bailed on nearly every Pogue meeting: met with the group one-on-one instead. He’d texted you a few times, checking if you were okay, asking if you were sick, offering to come around, apologising for the other night. You rarely replied, and if you did they were simple answers that left no room for further questions. I’m fine. Not sick, don’t worry. Just been busy. It's all good, I forgot all about it! 

But you hadn’t. 

That one fleeting touch of JJ’s hand on your chest had replayed in your mind like you were some budding virgin who had never been touched by another human before in your life. It was truly pathetic. The porn that got your body burning was the thing that a nun would gloss over without pause. You loathe yourself. 

It’s stupid, really. You’d decided that maybe Mimsy was right. Maybe it was time to stop punishing yourself for Tyler, for the damage he inflicted. Maybe it was time to remember that all people are different people, and the acts of one careless man doesn’t equal the acts of another. But then you thought about it, really thought about it, and the thought of being so open like that with another person terrified you. Made you sick. Love was bad but heartbreak was worse, and you had a habit of falling hard and fast. If JJ wanted casual, you couldn’t do that. You felt too much for him already. Sleeping with him would only make it worse. But if JJ wanted serious, you couldn’t do that either. And so, you were at a stalemate. 

“Can’t I just give you it tomorrow?” you ask Kiara over the phone. 

“No! Cause you’ll quote-unquote ‘forget’ and go another week with it!” 

“It’s a good camera!”

“Yes, that’s why I want it back,” Kiara laughs. 

Sighing, you smile. “Fine. I’ll drop it at the Chateau, though. That hurricane’s getting close and I don’t wanna get caught out near Figure Eight.”

“Alright, that works for me,” Kie agrees. “You talk to JJ yet?”

“Sure,” you lie. 

She sighs. “What is going on with you two? I know he can be a dumbass; did he yell at you or something?”

After knowing JJ for close to two months, you had seen his temper. It was short and explosive, and at times, scary. But he came down regretful for the things he did and said, and you’d learnt just like the others to understand it. 

“No, he didn’t yell. It’s nothing. We’re fine, really,” you tell her. 

Kie hums and you know she isn’t convinced. Grabbing your shoes, you say, “look, I’ll head to the Chateau now before the storm hits and leave your camera for you.”

“Icon. Thank you!”

“Talk soon,” you say before hanging up.

With Kie’s camera in your trademark backpack, you head downstairs. Leaving a note on the kitchen for your parents and pulling a thin raincoat over your sweats and crop-tee, you penny board to the Chateau. The journey is familiar now, the same way heading to and from the local store in Vancouver was less than a year ago. As you walk up, you find the Twinkie missing. 

“John B? You home?” you call as you pass through the door. Nobody answers.

You head to the table and place Kiara’s camera down, then send a photo to her as proof. Before you make the journey back home, errand now complete, you use the bathroom and raid the cupboard for a snack. As you pull back the wrapper on a month-out-of-date clif bar, the sky grumbles menacingly. You stare up at the ceiling when it does as if it might be to blame. Suddenly, everything is dark. Grey clouds loom overhead and cast the world in gloom. More thunder follows, and the distant flash that you catch through the window hints of lightning. You hadn’t managed to skip the storm.

“Shit.”

Through the tantrum of nature, the high-pitched humming of a motor passes through. You venture to the front door of the Chateau, wondering whether John B has come back. When JJ rounds the corner, your stomach drops like a black bear has wandered into sight. The rain has started now, pelting hard and heavy pellets, and JJ cusses as he rushes up the steps. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he finally looks up, now in the Chateau.  

“Jesus Christ!”

“Sorry.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he repeats, perhaps a little dramatic. 

You roll your eyes and tug your raincoat off over your head. It’s not like you’re going anywhere anytime soon: mother nature had decided so. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Where the fuck have you been?” JJ asks, frowning at you. 

You shrug. “At home.”

“Oh. Yeah, duh, how dumb of me,” JJ sarcastically mumbles. You head into the kitchen for a soda and JJ is hot on your trail. “I’ve been hitting you up for like a week and you’ve been ignoring me.”

“I replied to you.”

“Yeah with like two word responses. I’ve heard dogs talk more,” JJ fires back.

Once your hand is safely removed from the fridge, JJ slams it shut. It catches your attention; forces you to look up at his face. “It’s about what happened in the van, isn’t it?”

“JJ, grow up,” you say. 

“That’s not a no.”

“Because it’s a stupid question,” you reply. “I’m not twelve years old, JJ.”

“Don’t need to tell me that,” he mumbles. You pass him by, heading for the sofa whilst JJ stands in the kitchen and stares at you. “So that’s that?”

“I guess,” you say with a shrug, sipping your soda. 

He stares some more and then scoffs. You know he’s annoyed. His jaw clenches and he glances off to the hallway of the cabin. You take his distraction to remind yourself of his body. Of how fucking gorgeous he is. 

“What? What’s wrong?” you can’t help but ask. 

JJ shakes his head. He purses his lips, calms himself, and looks to you. “You hurt my feelings.”

On the surface, it sounds like an immature statement. The sort of thing a child would say to another on the playing field, after shunning them out of an imaginary game. But not now, not here. You knew more than most how much hurt feelings can wound. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologise, and you hope it sounds as genuine as it is. 

JJ contemplates before nodding. He heads over to you and sits beside you on the sofa. Kicks his feet up on a dining chair as he reclines into the sofa. 

“Do you forgive me?”

“I will if you give me a sip of your drink,” he mumbles. You hand him the can and watch him begin to drink. Your face contorts with horror as JJ backwashes into the can, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“JJ! Ew!” 

He splutters a laugh as you snatch your drink back. It’s spoiled now. You glare at him and ditch it on the floor. Smack his shoulder jovially.

“Dumbass.”

The storm reigns on and for a while the two of you sit side by side listening to its petrifying symphony. Lightning flashes through the windows and illuminates the cabin for a fraction of a second, time and time again. It feels nice being in JJ’s company again. He calms you somehow, even in silence. Maybe it’s his smell, but if you admit that, you may sound a little insane or creepy. But the calm is only momentary. Soon you’re losing yourself to your thoughts, given too much freedom with the quiet. Thoughts of him. Thoughts which turn to glances, which turn to longing and yearning and…

“Wanna play a board game?” you blurt out. 

JJ quirks a brow at you, hitting his vape. “Sure. What game?”

You get up and head to the rickety wooden shelves, inspecting the games John B has. Most look thrifted. Jenga, Twister, Monopoly…

“Trivial Pursuit?”

JJ sniggers. “I don’t think either of us are smart enough for Trivial Pursuit.”

A hand slowly rises to your chest in mock offence. “Ouch.”

You slide the game out as JJ gets up and transforms the sofa into a pullout. The power is holding up good enough so far, in the summer storm turned hurricane. Taking a blanket, you cosy up on the couch and set up the game. JJ takes the time to retrieve a beer. You each take a game piece and fall into the game. It only takes about five rounds for JJ to be proven right: trivia was neither of your strong suits. 

You grab a card from the pile, reading out the trivia question. “What distance is the earth to the sun?”

JJ’s face contorts in bewilderment. “What kind of dumbass question is that?”

“A trivia one,” you say, watching him with a smile.

“I don’t fucking know. A hundred?”

“A hundred what?”

“Miles?”

You blink at him. “A hundred miles? From our planet to a huge ball of gas?”

“Who’s actually measured it, that’s what I want to know,” JJ says.

“Scientists.”

“But like how?”

“I don’t know,” you laugh, leaning back on the sofa. “With science, I guess. Answer the question.”

“‘With science’. ‘With science’?”

“Shut up.”

“Didn’t know I was in the presence of a genius,” JJ announces.

You roll your eyes and prod him with your toe through your blanket, careful not to knock over the pile of trivia cards. “Answer!”

“This game is dumb. Why couldn’t we just play strip poker?”

“Jesus Christ – answer the question!”

“I did! One-hundred miles!”

“That’s such a dumb guess!” you laugh, placing the card at the bottom of the pile.

“Was it right?”

“No!”

By now you’re in hysterics, shaking your head. JJ’s watching you, sniggering away. He takes another swig of his beer and offers the bottle to you. You have a sip. JJ’s still watching you. Swallowing, you quirk a brow. 

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, what is it? Is there something on my face?”

“No, no,” JJ says, stopping your wiping of your cheeks. “You’re just really fucking pretty.”

Your body chills like a winter breeze hit. Smiling bashfully, you glance down. “Oh. Thank you.”

“Course,” JJ replies. He takes the bottle back gently and has another sip. Clearing his throat, he grabs another trivia card. “Alright, uh, what we got here? Who wrote the novel ‘Pride and Prejudice’?”

“Jane Austen,” you reply. 

“Yep,” he says, returning the card to the pile.

And just like that, the moment has passed, and you’re only slightly surprised to realise how much you wished it hadn’t. 

You wordlessly take another ‘cheese piece’ for your counter. JJ takes the dice and rolls and as you wait for them to land, everything suddenly goes pitch black. You let out a screech as it does. 

“Oh shit,” you hear JJ say. 

“What happened?” you ask, though the answer is obvious. 

“Power went out,” JJ says. “Shit.”

You feel the pull out move and you flail a hand out, grabbing his t-shirt with your fist. “Don’t go.”

“I’m just gonna try and find some candles or a flashlight or something.”

“Wait, can you just…Can you stay until my eyes adjust, at least?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, course.”

JJ settles back into his spot. There’s the clink of his beer bottle carefully finding place on the floor. His hand gently pats around before landing on your leg. 

“You’re shaking.”

“I don’t like the dark,” you tell him. You’re waiting for him to laugh but he doesn’t. Instead, he coaxes you closer to him. 

“Come here.”

You comply. Shuffle until you can feel JJ’s body pressed against yours. You slowly, nervously lower your head onto his upper chest. The sensation of his chest rising and falling evenly calms your panic. You’d never grown out of your fear of the dark. It was stupid, something Tyler used to tease you for, but you couldn’t help it. Even still, you slept with some form of nightlight. JJ’s fingers begin to stroke the back of your hand. And just as his accidentally grope of your tit had, his barely-there touch turns you on. 

But this time you don’t flinch away. Don’t panic and startle and spiral. 

Maybe it’s the black out serving as some sort of safety net, or the storm making you feel disconnected from the world, or maybe just the effect of JJ in general, but you find yourself moving to face him. At least, what you assume is him. Eyes slowly adjusting, you can make out the vague silhouette of his face. Lord knows you’ve stared at him enough times to make good guess work of where his lips are. You lean forward so slow, you can convince yourself you’re not at all.

Your lips press against his lower lip tentatively. Testing the waters.

This close, you can hear when JJ’s breath catches in his throat.

You wait for JJ's next move.

JJ’s hand lands on the back of your head, returning your lips to his frantically. It’s messy and sloppy as the two of you kiss. Teeth and lips and hands, which caress down your body, grabbing greedily at your skin, landing on your ass to lift you into his lap. He’s getting harder and harder with each kiss, each brush of your tongues. You gasp a moan against his lips. Leaning back for air, swishing your hair from off your face and shoulders, you finally get to see how it feels to have your hands around his neck. Plant your fingers there, one by one,. JJ’s panting, his hands restlessly tracing your body. Reconnecting your lips with his, he mumbles against them. One word.

“Yes.”

His grip is tenderly mean in your hair as he pries you away to only plant kisses down your neck. Maybe he has a fascination with yours just as you do with his…JJ’s cold hands thrill your body as they slip under your shirt. Blunt finger nails rake soothingly against your back, juxtaposing the assault on your throat that has you whining and gasping. Fuck, you forgot how good this is. How good it feels to have another person pressed up against you. Touching you. You instinctively rock against his crotch. JJ groans, head dropping onto your shoulder. His fingernails press harder and it makes you grin. Leaning down to his earlobe, you kitten lick the skin just below. You feel him shudder under you. You tease your teeth against the lobe before gently catching it between your teeth. JJ lets out a moan. 

“You like that?” you whisper into his ear. 

“Yes,” he mumbles. You let out a gasp when he tugs at your hair once more, pulling you to face him. Now you can make out his eyes. They’re hooded. Crinkled like they do when he smiles. “You like being in control or something?”

“Or something…” you reply, finding your own smile. 

“Just like I said,” JJ says, eyes flitting down to your lips. “Exactly my type.”

His hands slide down from your ass to the back of your quads, and he practically tosses you onto your back. You land just shy of the game board. Can hear the cards and game pieces scatter. JJ unconcernedly brushes it away, making the two of you laugh, breathless. Then his lips are back on yours, figure looming over you, and you let your hands venture up along his body. His gaping t-shirt grants you expanse of his skin. It’s soft under your touch, ripples from it, rises and falls with his breathes. JJ pushes your shirt up and kisses down your sternum, down your chest, towards your crotch. And now, without him desperately close, despite his attention to your body, you feel lost. In the pitch black, you can confuse JJ with someone else. 

Tyler. 

No, no, it’s not. It’s JJ. You can smell his cologne. Feel the cool metal of his rings against your burning skin. Yes, JJ. 

“JayJ?” you mumble, fingers tethering into his hair. 

“Mmm,” he hums against your skin. Yes, it’s JJ. His fingers hook into the band of your sweats and he lowers them down your legs. Presses wet, open mouthed kisses to the newly revealed skin that you’d caught him staring at too many times to count. 

And you should be enjoying it. Should be turned on beyond belief, desperate for his touch or his mouth or something on your aching cunt. But instead you’re just trying to stay present. Drilling it into your head that it is him, that it is JJ, that this is different. It makes no sense. Tyler never abused you. Never too advantage of you. Or did he? Did he–

No, not Tyler. JJ. The same JJ who’s mumbling things against your thigh, dragging your panties down your legs. 

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy…”

But when he teases a finger to your folds, you’re dry. JJ pauses. 

“You okay?”

“Mhm,” you hum. Now your brain is busy with panic. He’s been turning you on like crazy so why the fuck is your body not doing what it’s supposed to do? Embarrassment stings your eyes. This has never happened before. Never. JJ continues to ease his finger up and down but to no avail. He shifts up your body, kissing delicately at your neck.  

“Are you…not into this or?” JJ tentatively asks. 

“No, I am, I just–” You cut yourself off with an exasperated sigh. Gently pushing JJ off you, you shift to sit up, hiding your burning face in your hands despite the black out. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why.”

“It’s alright. Hey, no, it’s alright, don’t worry,” JJ reassures.

As you tug your shirt down, JJ climbs off the pull-out. You hear his footsteps depart. You busy yourself with pulling your sweatpants back up. A flashlight guides JJ’s return. You squint when he shines it directly in your face. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, flicking it back down to the floor. He steps over the mess of the board game and joins you on the sofa. Passes you his half drunk bottle of beer and the alcohol helps wash away the initial sting of embarrassment. In the shadow of his flashlight, you still see his boner through his sweatpants and you instantly feel guilty for accidentally blue-balling him. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat. 

“Don’t apologise,” JJ chuckles. He takes the beer back when you offer it to him. Has a swig. 

“S’just embarrassing,” you mumble. 

“Nah. Guess it’s just like ED for a guy,” JJ thinks aloud. 

“Oh, and ED isn’t embarrassing?” you half-heartedly joke. 

JJ chuckles. “Alright, fair point. But you don’t gotta be embarrassed with me. It’s cool.”

You nod. The two of you sit there in the pitch-black as the storm billows on outside. You look out the window. The wind throws twigs and sticks and leaves around; you can see it through the porch netting. 

“Did I ever tell you about when I lost my virginity?” JJ asks. 

You snort and look to him. “Yeah, funny enough, that never came up in any of our conversations.”

JJ smiles, amused. “Fair point.”

He relaxes against the back of the sofa and you decide to join him, settling your head against his chest. One of his hands loops around your body, fingers stroking your thigh over your sweatpants soothingly. 

“I was fourteen.”

“Fourteen?”

“I was an early bloomer, I guess,” JJ replies, making you chuckle quietly. “There was this smokin’ Toron visiting the island. I mean, not as hot as you, but a close second - I’m not gonna lie. Way better than what my thirteen-year-old wet dreams cooked up.”

“Gross,” you cringe, scrunching up your nose. 

“So, I started talking to her and she asked if I had...and I hadn’t, and neither had she and…Yeah. And then, when it came down to it, and we were macking and stuff, I couldn’t get it up.”

You shift to look up to him, lips apart. “Wait, really?”

“I’m dead serious,” JJ chuckles. “I was flippin’ out cause I’d never had a problem with it before.”

“What happened? Did you guys end up calling it off or…”

“Well,” JJ says, scratching the back of his neck, “the problem seemed to go away after she showed me her tits but–”

“Ah. That makes sense,” you snigger. 

“But the point is, it happens to all of us,” JJ tells you. “So, you don’t gotta be embarrassed.”

“Well, thanks,” you hum. Snuggling your head against his shirt, your eyes slip shut. The madness of the storm was strangely soothing. “I’m sorry for disappearing, JayJ.”

“It’s alright,” JJ says quietly. “I do it too, sometimes. When I need to think or it gets too much.”

The two of you understand one another. Guarded behind self-built walls of which only the other seemed to have the sledgehammer for. It's something you want to talk about more but with your eyes closed, in the comfort of JJ’s hold, you find yourself drifting away into sleep.  

read part six here!

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