#but like. just the way it didnt make SENSE

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[pansy-picnics]

YESSSSSSSS YES YES GOD. OH MY GODDDDDD. RIPPING MY SHIRT OFF LIKE THE HULK. YOU GET IT OP. I LOVE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS (Says the aroace guy . Like okay fork found in kitchen cmon now)

No cuz LISTEN. romance and attraction is something that is constantly front in center in society as a whole….its a lot more understood than friendship or familial relationships. so it probably makes SENSE to hugo at least in concept.

Attraction is understood by a lot of people as like a biological instinct (And obviously its more complex than that but thats the most Basic idea thats been held for most of history i think). And hugos definitely been Attracted to people before. I think he kind of just sees it as a nuisance tbh. He just tries to gaslight himself into pretending it isnt there.

But platonic love….you dont have that physical reaction yknow??? I mean ive had what i can describe as platonic “crushes” before but it’s different….It could be different for other people ofc but in my experience platonic love kind of sneaks up on you. You might not even really notice its there. One day you’ll just be looking at someone and you’re like, “oh yeah. This one. Theyre the one. Theyre safe.”

They affect you in little ways. like influencing the way you think or the way you speak and you dont notice until someone points it out. You’ll pick up on words they use and everyday things will make you think of them. ITS JUST. GAH!!! I LOVE PLATONIC LOVE!!

I think platonic love is SUCH an important part of hugo’s general role in the story because like….This isnt his first rodeo remember? Hes done jobs for donella before. Hes probably crushed on a few people before. Maybe even people hes worked with. But clearly its never affected his performance before. none of these crushes have Permanently rewired his brain and this perspective he has of the world.

The reason team radical has such an impact on him is NOT just bc she’s gay for varian. It’s bc ALL OF THEM are the first people who have just Genuinely cared about her, with no ulterior motives, no strings attached, no romantic connotations, no nothing. Theyre the first people she’s actually connected with and felt like she could be herself around. and they’re the first to actually able to counter these mindsets that are so Natural to her- these mindsets that it’s every man for himself, that relationships are all temporary, and that she’s not fundamentally deserving of love. Varian, nuru and yong showed hugo a new perspective on life. ALL OF THEM DID!! NOT JUST VARIAN!!!

Its why platonic varigo is genuinely so important to me and one of the reasons i think varigo are the “best friends first/lovers second” kind of couple. its also why i dont really like them having chemistry like right off the bat. Because like…Them being friends first is the only reason their relationship as it is is even possible. Neither of them really had friends their age before and thats Why they really connect.

if it wasn’t for varian just…being a good friend, and him, nuru and yong all collectively showing hugo this new outlook on life….team radical would have just been another means to an end. Sure maybe hugo would’ve had a little crush on varian or found him attractive, but it wouldn’t have made him like, quit his whole job. He would’ve just done the work and moved on with his life. he wouldn’t have FALLEN IN LOVE like he did. Love and attraction are two different things and hugo didnt just have a crush on varian, he fell in love with him. and he fell in love (platonically, of course) with yong and nuru too.

THATS what changed him!!! Genuine human connection and love!!! It had nothing to do with romance!!! And i feel like people just tend to focus on the yaoi or whatever when like…It means nothing if we aren’t seeing hugo form these bonds with the group as a whole and watching his outlook change as a result! without the core feature of genuine human connection and friendship the yaoi wouldn’t even EXIST!!! 😭😭😭

I especially need more library/betrayal scenes with the whole group bc it genuinely makes me so mad when they’re Just about varigo and nuru and yong are just. Left behind? NOBODY EVER WRITES NURU AND YONG REACTING TO THE BETRAYAL…..NOBODY WRITES THEM HELPING HUGO WHEN VARIAN GETS POSSESSED. THEY’RE JUST. LEFT BEHIND AND THEN THEY SHOW UP AT THE END WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR GROUP HUG OR WHATEVER….SOMETIMES NOT EVEN THAT!!!

IT BREAKS MY HEART BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT JUST SIDE PIECES TO VARIGO!!! 😭😭😭 GAHHH. I NEED MORE TEAM RADICAL JUST ALL BEING BEST FRIENDS AND LOVING EACH OTHER!!!!! I NEED YONG AND NURU TO PLAY A PART IN THESE MAJOR PLOT POINTS TOO!!!!

I feel like we don't talk about how Hugo would be weirded out by the concept of having friends enough. Like we all pretty much agree that Donella, while maybe not being outright abusive, was at least not an amazing parent figure and made Hugo live a life that wasn't super healthy. But I haven't really seen anyone talk about how he probably has never felt platonic love.

I like the idea that it wasn't Varian that convinced Hugo to leave Donella, it was Nuru and Yong.

Hugo would have at least had a crush before, if not an actual relationship, he's aware that liking someone made you want to do stupid stuff, like quit your job, abandon your mother figure, and live with them for the rest of your life, but wanting to do that sort of stuff for someone you have no attraction to whatsoever? Huh?

I just love the idea that while Varian was a huge part in changing Hugo, it took friendship with no hint of romantic connotations to finally win Hugo over.

[venussaidso]

SEBASTIAN STAN IS A CONFIRMED MULA ASC???? But but but but that was a Jyestha native??? What do you mean he's not Jyestha!?

Bucky BUCKY!? nooooooooooo my comfort character is not a fucking jyestha as i kept headcanoning????? Bucky Barnes is played by a Mula instead!? Nooooooooooooooooooooooo i thought he was my daemon

Father is not a Jyestha ASC!?? A whole placement I confidently projected onto him.

Look at this bullSHIT

And also

Michael Fassbender might just be a Mula ASC too if this glitch happens again

Michael Fassbender is likely Mula ASC too WE HAVE BEEN LIEDDDDD TO

devasted lol

Nooooo you guys.. I don't think you understand how much this ruined me just now. Like I actually fuck with this character.

So. Now Sebastian Stan is a Mula native!?

but heyy! Bucky Barnes falls on my list of Ketuvians being subjected to human experiments (in my drafts) so that checks out. I GUESS.

Him and the Terminator who is played by Mula native Arnold Schwarzenegger... are giving parallels in their relentlessness to kill the target and mindframe as assassins, and how they're merely just tools/puppets. Winter Soldier purely operating from the lens of shoot to kill in "Captain America: The Winter Soldier." Giving off this relentless murderous force we saw in the first Terminator and also both characters have metal limbs (well for Bucky has only one metal arm). Anyway, hmmmmm.

Florence Pugh needs to get her birthtime out nowwwww. Yelena Belova gives off Rohini's mischievousness and snark but I feel like there's a magnetic nakshatra on her ASC that's overall making her character. How long am I gonna have to wait 😭

Yall Winter Soldier actually one of my favourite characters to write in fanfiction so this is a DISASTER for me personally. Mula looking so random for him like bitch wtf there is no way 😂

Ugh but it makes sense with that Beauty and the Beast movie. Acting like fuckass Princess Belle. He rightfully slams a reporter who called his co-star a beast.

Also

Also

NOW IT MAKES SENSE WHY TIMOTHEE CHALAMET'S FACIAL EXPRESSIONS IN DUNE REMINDED ME OF SEBASTIAN STAN. I DID HAVE THAT MOMENT BUT IT DIDNT MEANN ANYTHING TO ME BECAUSE SEB = JYESTHA

It's the eyebrow area for me and the expressions there. But I had brushed it off. And now that answered it for me 🙃

His updated birthtime gives his ASC tropical 25°50 Sagittarius. *Sighhhhhhhhh*. It was not like that before lol so I guess this is his accurate birthtime.

[vigilskeep]

oh man wouldn't the rivalry system from da2 have shined in veilguard? part of the reason it didnt work well in practice is that it lumped "genuinely fucking evil thing to do to another person" and "thing companion doesn't personally like" together, then treated both mainly as the latter, but in veilguard the morality of your character is a lot more set and the stakes make characters sticking around even when they hate you make more sense. rivalmances are so good conceptually and i truly think the veilguard crew could pull it off so well w/o the abusive aspects of da2's

hmm. maybe! i do love the rivalry system. but i think you’d have to change a lot about the veilguard characters and their arcs for it to be applicable here.

they aren’t really set one way as their natural course and then you can challenge and oppose them; they’re all already experiencing internal struggle between two aspects of their identities, if that makes sense. for a lot of them it would be hard to define which of their two routes is friendship and which is rivalry. they would also have to have firmer dislikes and stronger... senses of rivalry? if that makes sense? like they would have to be people who take things personally, long term. between each other as well as with you. and disputes between companions would be about picking a side and whether you agree or disagree, rather than how they are in the game, which is mostly just about making sure everyone can still get with the program and get the job done no matter what. the extent to which the companions interact and discuss the major calls means you couldn’t take different people around to make friends with everyone and “play all sides” like da2, and you’d have to write and record a massive amount of different interactions if you want the group dynamic to feel reactive to any of this. there would have to be more big overarching conflicts that the companions take firm sides on, rather than the game being laser-focused on its central fight

im not saying it couldnt be a cool version but it would take a lot of reworking of who these people are and what the tone and focus of the game is, in order to make sense

[angelcatsiel]

being a bucktommy fan right now feels like being a destiel fan in november 2020. we got an episode that gave us such validation and joy, and a story that we felt certain would have to get some kind of meaningful conclusion, only to feel like we all got slapped in the face two weeks later

[pixieswashere]

First off, I agree with everything with what OP said here. I want to also add onto this that it makes no sense for AU!Jinx/Powder not to have her mental illness/psychosis, not only bc of the fact she had it since she was a child....but also bc in that universe.....Vi is dead...like SHE IS GONE. If anything the trauma and psychosis would still be there, if not worsen overtime.

Like at first when I started it, I didn't think much thinking that in this universe she had professionall help in coping with it healthily.....but then the Vi reveal and the fact we didnt see her having some hallucinations or voices is what ruined this......her ONLY last remaining family to her parents and who was very close to her clearly...is DEAD. Jinx loved her sister so much and had a mental breakdown as a kid when she LEFT her to go and find Vander. The only person who was there that BELIEVED in her, STUCK up for her, and practically raised her along Vander. You're telling me, Jinx wouldn't have any slightest of a breakdown or crisis over that??? At all??? Even when considering her mental state???

Adding to this for Viktor (bc I love him and I 100% agree that his character was fumbled)

Viktor NEVER hated himself in s1 let's get that straight. In S1, he makes a very big POINT to show that he has always carried himself and that in whatever he does, he is proud of it because he believed in himself enough to accept who he is and DOESN'T care about what others think of him

"When you're going to change the world don't ask for permission."

"I didn't have the benefits of a patron or a name, I simply....BELIEVED in MYSELF."

You could argue that while yes he is self-assured and confident, he still has some insecurities of how people close to him perceive him....and that could be true, but it's not really ever alluded. He DOES care about making connections but hes isolated himself bc of these judgements that its almost second nature if not a rarity. But he does value companionship, its just not something he is accustomed to a degree, and he sometimes without consideration distances himself from it if it gets in the way of his aspirations (Ex: Sky/Jayce, Heimerdinger/Singed.) In the latter acts of S1 he was DYING he wasn't hating himself because of his "terminal illness" that was killing him or his disability....He was in a vulnerable and solemn state because he felt like his accomplishments meant or achieved NOTHING. This is a character that is selfless, altruistic and a workaholic who worked his way up with dreams of something better and now after so many years in developing Hextech he's seeing that what he strived to achieve for the improvement of his home that's also DYING because of Piltover's ignorance and oppression, is unable to do NOTHING about it now.

He is angry that he has no CONTROL over his fate and the assuredness of his Legacy = helping those in need for the Undercity because of Jayce and Piltover's lack of understanding, especially after they had complied building the Hexgates for their trade disputes first.....over the disputes of lives. Viktor has contemplated death because he knows time is fleeting and he wants to make it count for something good, he doesnt want to be remembered as PERFECT, he wants to be remembered in the contributions that the people of Zaun will FINALLY heal/be helped after so long and not have to live short lives bc of unsafe work environments, manual labour, illnesses cause by toxic chemicals and etc.

He even brushes the idea of when he'll die off, and you could even add that he is ticked off by the fact that hes now being perceived as a "dead man" before he even died (Ex. Heimerdinger convo and Jayce in the hospital, etc). He doesn't like being seen as powerless or as his terminal illness now because he ISN'T and never was. Furthermore, he doesnt use the Hexcore to "PERFECT" himself, he's using it to heal himself of his terminal illness/expand his lifespan so that he can continue his research in helping Zaun.

If he is going to use Hexcore, he needs to make sure that it will work. So, to tests its capabilities, he tests it on HIMSELF. Only to find out that the same thing he created to HEAL ended up killing someone that meant a lot to him. He wasted NO TIME telling Jayce to destroy it bc it harmed someone and he finally realizes that ensuring a legacy = saving people....ended up at the cost of harming people in return.

P.s. sorry this was long. Hope you enjoyed reading it if u did !

I don't have perfect thoughts on it, but I do want to note that I'm not loving how Arcane handles disability.

Viktor hating his disability so deeply, feeling that it needs to be "fixed" so thoroughly, that he succumbs to ~ultimate eugenics for everyone ~ ?????? fucked up

Jinx's psychosis being a manifestation of her being "unhinged" and encouraging her to act out either to challenge or appease them, and then her psychosis magically disappearing in the "perfect" universe????? also fucked up

Vi's alcoholism and (albeit mild) psychotic symptoms never being brought up....ever???? just created as fodder to make her a more angsty and submissive lapdog to facism????? also also fucked up

Let me have my mad/cripple characters who have their shit recognized as parts of their humanity rather than trauma porn plot or things that need to be corrected or traits indicative of rash violence please

[sam-violet]

chillin in the hot springs 🌱

+ a closeup

[heynhay]

hey ive had a couple ppl say they like the way i do colors and some others say they dont know HOW i apply weird palettes would anyone be interested in a tutorial. because i find a palette i like before i even lay out base color usually.

[tossball-stick]

yesss oh my god!! you have no clue, i was also thinking that when dutchs father died his community disappointed him.

i like to think that realistically they just didnt support him and his mother in a way he liked or cared for. frankly i think it would make a lot of sense if he and his mother fell on financial troubles with his father out of the picture, and likely the community came in to help with housework/chores/food. dutch wasnt seeing the bigger picture, and thought the only solution to their situation wouldve been money.

this couldve even been the reason he left-- fighting with his mother over all this.

itd make sense why hes so prone to giving out to the poor, and why his downward spiral starts speeding up when the gang starts struggling financially after blackwater. its why he hammers faith and loyalty so hard after they start having money troubles, too. thats what caused him and his mother to separate. with people starting to die, too, it would be a complete reliving of the situation that drove him and his mother apart; his family shattering. he built a new family, and now theyve suffered loss and financial trouble, and they too will be driven apart.

(it also would play into rdr's love of repeating cycles.... just saying..)

and about his aversion to, yet romancing of religion, like you mentioned, i think this would play into that really well too. if you think dutch has narcissistic personality disorder (i dont use that term loosely, i mean it in a genuine medical sense, as much as i believe in psych) too, it would make a lot of sense if he didnt reflect on the issues he had with amish christianity properly. he saw the only issue as his community refusing to help him in his time of need, hyperfixated on that, and analyzed nothing else about his own beliefs. he didnt realize that the issue was foundational.

when he got into the world and started becoming his own person, with his own circle, the only thing that changed was his focus on money and like. some other small things. he still has the foundational issues of amish beliefs at his core, even if hes putting his own woke spin on them.

most of this is just spitballing lol but. i have a lot of thoughts

gooooood morning party people today im thinking about how dutch van der linde could very well be amish and how well that would wrap his character up in a neat little bow. i mean. one of the main things he values is classic living, hes a midwest dutch-american immigrant in the mid 1800s, he has a deep obsession with knowing how the world works (as if he had been sheltered from it in his youth), he talks about having complicated relationships with family after having left home, his constant hammering of hard work and faith as honorable values, and the fact that he went off to create his own cult-like group after a while.

[agtavio]

who we really are

[pineappical]

would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...

[andi-o-geyser]

Is it a little sacrilegious that they're killing the slow burn right before the gut punch of true love's nat 20? Yes. Did I love seeing the 'I open up the door completely naked' scene come to life even though it was (WAY) earlier then I expected? Also yes. I'm trying to go with the flow and am holding out hope that they're doing things differently, and they obviously have less time to work with (which is the most critical thing to understand), but will still pull it off. It's hard because from an analysis perspective there is something so crucially important about Vex's repressed feelings only coming out under extreme duress and still not admitting she loved Percy until they talked later and even then finding their footing in a very different way than we're seeing here?? Like it's kinda throwing me for both Vex and Percy to be so open and upfront about their desire to get together? It's certainly a different take on it that does have an interesting dynamic to explore. At this point I'm trying to trust the process and just enjoy what we're given and acknowledge they're not creating the exact same story as the original.

Eventhoughi'mgoingtobegoingbacktowatchthecampaignafterthistofixthelossofthelongestjuiciestslowburnihaveeverexperiencedbutthatsfine woahhhhhh who said that

[weirderscience]

> people say a piece of media -isnt- influenced heavily by the author's personal life and biases > reads about the life and biases of the author to confirm or deny this > influence

[xxplastic-cubexx]

so like do you think they made the plastic wheelchair ALONGSIDE the plastic prison as a Just In Case situation, only after they realized charles was going to be a frequent visitor, or both as in because they knew charles was going to be the only person visiting him during planning they decided to make him a chair ahead of time

[aroaceleovaldez]

full on feel like pjo tv s2 is not gonna hold up so they need to drag as much attention to the series as they can by using nico as a sock puppet w tsats2

im fully expecting the show to go the way of the movies. it doesnt help Sea of Monsters is almost unanimously the least favorite book of the first series. People frequently forget it even exists or what happens in it, especially more casual fans.

Heck, just look at how little fanfare the second season has gotten so far as compared to the build up to s1. I wouldn't be surprised if s2 totally flops. It would be a little funny.

[canonkiller]

do you consider your self made?