#but like. i got to just be alone a majority of the day

[brittle-doughie]

if y/n was piss at a random cookie hurting one of the cookies kids.

This is them if u anger them

How would the others reacted to this, with the darkness cookies witness this side too. Plus the others like the ancients, legendaries and the yeast beasts also see this

Spy x Family reference lol

I think a majority of cookies would be caught very off guard by your sudden aggression when it came to ANYONE bringing harm to your little ones. A literal Papa/Mama Bear momento.

Black Swan, so used to you being soft and adorable, is suddenly taken aback when she sees your fierce side when Red Panna critiques Blue Slushy a bit too much and you want him to cut her some slack.

White Lily gasps in shock when you tell off DE to leave Brave and the others alone, they were still just kids at the end of the day! Not Chili though, she can suffer. (LMAO)

Timekeeper is immediately reminded of your short fuse when you push back against her usual trolling, saying that Brave and the gang could’ve gotten hurt from her timeline shenanigans. She had to stop it to prevent you from quitting.

Xylitol Nova is most curious about this side of you when he sees you handle some of the younger Xylitol cookies. He knew you were a benevolent cookie, but to see you care for the others so well, it makes him wonder where you got the experience from if you didn’t have young ones yourself.

[l0stfoster]

Paul anon here to say eeeeeeYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE ME SOME CURSED PAUL DOODLES THATS MY SCRUNKLY BOY IM LOEHEVDJDGUEHE I LOVE PAUL HOLDEN

I wanna know more about the feather situation now tho ohhhh you got me intrigued ohhhh my goddddd

And paul just thinking and knowing hes the reason johnny’s in a wheelchair and that’ll probably haunt him for the rest of his life cuz now hes so associated with the greasers he probably knows johnny a lot better now and ohhh im gonna be sick . He probably has so many feelings about the shit he did b4 he was kicked out of the house ohhhh my sweet boy i love you so bad

Paul anon I hope you know you're an icon among the writers. Novva has previously expressed how much they want to put you in a jar and observe you (/pos)

As always I am so joyous that you're enjoying Paul here hehe. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Canon Paul can go kick rocks, Cursed Paul, on the other hand, needs a break from me. I talk a lot below so yeah another below the cut.

The feather situation was a little thing I'd thought about recently, since I've brought up to the writers before about how Two would eventually offer Paul a feather for flock marking, and Paul, by god, does NOT want the feather. Not only does he feel like he doesn't deserve it for what he's done; but it proves something about himself too- that he's getting attached. What the fuck does it say about him if he begins to connect with these people? It doesn’t help the guilt, that’s for sure. Two tries for probably months to get him to take it; literally days on end of offering and being ignored or shrugged off- finally, Paul takes it, but he doesn't wear it, nor does he keep it on his person. The only reason Paul wears it visibly for the first time is because god DAMN does Two pull off some REALLY good sad, pathetic bird eyes (and Dally looks ready to kill him for upsetting Two-Bit, so.)

He just gets so damn unlucky with the timing and circumstances surrounding it. Not only do the harpies already hold beef with him because of Two’s original jumping and the feather issue (most of them are clueless to the fact that Two’s forgiven him, while others are aware and have kinda chilled), but having a soc who’s harmed one of their own in their territory does not sit well with a majority of them, even all these months later; something especially impactful to the Shepard’s Gang. The second one harpy spots Paul with this feather, the immediate assumption is that he’d taken it just as he did with the first one.

I don’t talk about the Shepard’s all too much, but this is a good time to mention that Two and Tim are pretty good friends— so, well, he takes this as a matter that he can settle himself; and it’s a good way to warn this rich boy imposing on their territory that he’s on strike two of three, whether he’s one of the cursed or not.

Paul Gets Jumped, Part 2. It’s definitely not as bad as when the socs got him because, despite their gripes, Tim is half aware that Darry does gaf about this guy (he’s very out of the loop, and doesn’t even know the two are dating). As bad or not, it does freak Paul the hell out due to how familiar it felt to the first time he was jumped. That’s called trauma big guy, you and Johnny can bond over shaking like chihuahuas when you walk home alone. They take the feather away from him too, and you bet your ass he will NOT ask Two-Bit for another one because he doesn’t want him thinking Paul had purposefully disposed of it, especially with how often he’d been turning it down. This mf also ends not up being very fond of harpies outside of the ones he knows (ie; Two, Mrs. Mathews, etc) for a little while. Refuses to walk outside the house unless he’s got someone else with the gang. Two dive bombs on and grabs Paul while he’s walking home once and the entire East side loses power for like 5 hours lmao. Two was not happy when he found out about it too. Harpy: “Oh yeah we got this back from a soc while ago here" Two: Two: “-Isn’t that Paul’s?” Harpy: Harpy: “Th. The soc?” Two: “Yeah??? Paul??? Darry’s boyfriend?? This was his-“ Harpy: “I mean, he had it b- ohhh shit. You gave it to him on purpose.” Two:

Tim is very confused when a ruffled Two slams the door open and off its hinges at his house

Two, slamming the door open: “WHY WOULD YOU JUMP HIM WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME ABOUT THE FEATHER????” Tim, half asleep on the couch: Tim: “..g’d mornin'?”

ON THAT NOTE Paul is,, so utterly haunted by both Johnny's and Two's disabilities, and that is absolutely not helped by the fact that they don't even seem to hold it against him. In Johnny's eyes, Paul wasn't the one who'd jumped him, resulting in him carrying the switchblade that killed Bob. He wasn't the one who held Pony underwater with the intent to kill. Two himself already knows that Paul didn't expect him to be burned as he was, nor was he the one holding the lighter. The blame the gang directs at him varies; especially when they see that the two who fell victim don't even seem to be mad about it. I think that a large reason as to why Pony throws his blame at Paul for Johnny is because, well, Bob's not around to take it. He's an emotional teen who's taking it out on the person he knows had some correlation to it. Besides, I think all of us know Pony blames himself for the church fire; directing that anger at Paul makes it easier to cope.

But yeah, Paul's practically eaten alive by the guilt. It sure as hell doesn't help that he already feels bad for being directly related to the witch that cursed Tulsa.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Jude Jazza Route Theories Pt. 2: Hidden Rooms, Burning Smells & Human-Trafficking ☾.

MDNI - Solely for brief mentions of sex CW: Brief mentions of SA, Child abuse, Death.

This is another post I also delayed for months, and it's a bit more of an odds and ends post. I had these notes written, but got busy translating and they just stayed stuck on paper. Then I had a nice chat with @shatcey the other day which reminded me about Jude's Crown’s S-Rank 95k Bonus Story story.

Under the cut due to event and route spoilers. As usual, this is just for fun, it's nothing groundbreaking, and we can't be dogmatic.

Burning Smells: “Shit, that burnin' smell...” - Jude Jazza, Crown’s S-Rank 95k Bonus Story

To my knowledge, this is where we are first introduced to something very odd - a Jude who doesn’t like burning smells. In this scene, a merchant whom Jude has collected evidence against for human-trafficking, started a fire within his own mansion to get rid of evidence. He intended for Jude and Kate to burn with him, so the two run for their lives as usual. Interestingly, we get a bit more insight about this vague statement at a later event……

“The smell when I smoke reminds me of that stuffy ass room. All the smoke n’ the fumes, n’ the gloom in the air would make me cough up a lung.” - Jude Jazza, Roger Barel’s Past Records-Record No. Four

This didn't hit me until I was writing this post, but I love how I Cybird expounded on that tiny morsel so many months later, and yet there's still not a lot of info. While it's implied the room Jude was in was filled with cigarette smoke (and for all intents and purposes, it probably is just cigarette smoke), Cybird doesn't explicitly state what type of smoke was actually in that room. It only says that cigarette smoke reminded him of it.

And if you think about it, cigarettes would just be an easy way for Jude to have access to the smell of smoke (which he uses to feed his hatred and vengeance).So, it could also be something like fumes and smoke from a furnace? Something that would constantly be spreading and harming them versus the potential intermittent smell of cigarette smoke. Maybe not though.

Regardless of the type of smoke it was, it’s both a source of trauma and a motivator for him, and he abhors it. Now about this room he was in.....

Hidden Rooms: So far we know that he was in a dusty attic (from his first BD event), and then this stuffy room that was filled with smoke.

Going to back to the mansion that is on fire in the 95k story, Jude wants them to escape by means of climbing down a drainage pipe from the fourth floor, but Kate tells him to do it alone, fearful the pipe won’t support them both. She explains that there maybe a hidden passage way to a detached outbuilding, where it’s rumored a sickly child the couple had at one point lived inside. When they reach the the wall that divides the mansion with the outbuilding, Jude says:

“……It's somethin' you often find in aristocratic mansions. They’ll dig underground and make somethin' like this.”

Now, how would he know this? He’s not an aristocrat. True, it may be that it’s something he’s noticed on Crown missions such as, Ghost House Report. In that mission, they find Anne’s skeleton in an under ground basement that’s hidden beneath the first floor staircase. It could also be that he worked as a servant in an aristocratic mansion and saw things no one should ever have to see. However, I feel like in Jude’s case, it might be……

Human-Trafficking: “Now, if ya were just buyin’ ‘n sellin’ guns ‘n other dirty shit that’d be fine. But don’t ya remember the contract ya signed with me? When I toldja, NO human traffickin’.”- Jude Jazza, Wrapped In Wicked Romance, Premium End

From the very beginning, we know at least one thing about Jude, and it’s that he HATES human-trafficking. In fact, majority of his personal missions involve this disgusting practice, and that point is further driven home in Ellis’ route. In chapter 13 of the route, they find 12 children who’ve been abducted by a lunatic, and Jude is absolutely furious about it.

A quick side note, before they discover the children, Jude tells Kate that it’s never acceptable to lock up a child without food. To me, it solidifies other evidence that Jude may have been a victim himself along with his sibling(s)/mother. Oh, and it also contributes to his medical records stating that he suffered from malnourishment!

There are ton of theories that I have about how he and his sibling(s)/mother were sold if that was the case.

Simple street abduction. There could’ve just been a bunch of bad guys looking for a quick buck and sold children to earn it. Ellis’ route has something similar happening.

Jude and his family may be from another country who were sold to someone in England. (I’m using First Class Ticket, Dark IF, and Guard IF as a basis for this.)

Jude and his family may have been offered up as collateral by their parent/guardian at an illegal gambling den. (Jude’s & Nica’s versus SE is what makes me think this).

Jude and his family may have been born into captivity by a mother who was sold to someone, and assaulted.

Jude’s mother may have been a prostitute who snagged herself a nobleman customer, and thus he was born and was simply mistreated within the home, and/or was found by the father later on and shoved into a cage.

Or, his mother may have been the one who disappeared after being sold, and he was simply left to live on the streets and earn a wage any way he could.

Final Theory? It's kind of hard reigning it all in, but I think Jude and his family may have been victims of human-trafficking in a nobleman’s home. There must've been constant burning smells of smoke that irritated baby Jude's lungs (who already suffers from seasonal asthma). This no doubt contributed to the illness of the other two who were with him as it seems they had trouble breathing too.

They may have been starved (as supported by Jude's medical record of suffering from child malnourishment), assaulted (physically and sexually), and/or at least exposed to the indulgence in vices such as drugs, sex, murder games (as Jude's mentioned once before in an event or Ellis' route...I can't remember where exactly), and other things…..we will stop at that because I can’t bear to think of what they may have had to endure or witness.

Assuming, Jude was locked away in a mansion like that as a child himself, I think it’s plausible that he escaped the mansion using his wit, not necessarily the way he did using cigarette smoke in the story, but somewhere along those lines:

Without putting the cigarette in his mouth, he held it out toward the underground passage. Then, the cigarette smoke trailed into the passage from the back of the hallway. “…..Thankfully, there's some air flow. Looks like there's an exit on the other side.”- Jude.

Of course, little Jude could’ve also climbed out a window and down the drain pipe if he was making his way down from a dusty attic instead, and I wonder…..was his family (?) able to make it out too, or was it too late by that point?

What we do know is that Jude escaped that life, and he even went to a public school (which is a paid school for the wealthy and the aristocratic). According to Past Records, it was either a scholar or a doctor who supported Jude in this endeavor.

Why? Why did they fund Jude's schooling? A selfish one? A genuine one? Did they notice how intelligent and clever Jude was, and decided it would be a tragedy if his brains were left to waste in the slums? Did they meet Jude while he was locked away? Did they meet Jude on the street? These are questions I want to know.

Again, this is just what I think could’ve happened. Let’s see how wrong I am! Please feel free to add-on to the theories.

[thenightisland]

in various conversations with my doctor about the insane life changing effect adhd meds have had on me one of the things he said was that it's not uncommon for people who have dysthymia/pervasive depressive disorder to have undiagnosed adhd at the root of the problem. and i think we forget that like. major depressive disorder is supposed to be something that eventually stops. it's episodic. like even people with depression very often are not in a state where it's just like. every day is a misery virtually nonstop for 15+ years. but with dysthymia/pdd it very much so is. which you can have pdd and mdd both at the same time too which is evil but anyway. it is wild enough conceptualizing that there is in fact a difference between the two things bc i very much so got depressed around age ten and just. never stopped. and when you live like that for the bulk of your life you just sort of get used to it? like it sucks but you just assume a degree of that is normal. so even on several antidepressants i never once aimed for "not depressed" i was always aiming for "mildly less miserable" i had just accepted that i would always be a degree of miserable and that my default was going to be feeling bad and if i was very lucky there might be a few days where i felt a little less bad now and then. the goal was "bearable misery" which is nuts to type out like wow! bleak!

anyway something i noticed when they started me on the adhd meds was that all the Racket in my head just. stopped. for weeks i just said to people "it's so quiet in there" because i didn't have dozens of loud competing fast thoughts all the time. and it took a while to pin down why this effect made me less depressed and worked better than literally any antidepressant had. and it's bc it /stopped thoughts/ and when i was depressed the Thoughts did not stop and they were not pleasant ones so i'd get stuck in these awful mental doom spirals and nothing i did would make it stop. and then this medicine made it stop. and it turns out it's much easier to not be sad when your brain doesn't have the Sad Channel turned up to high volume and is forcing you to deal with it clockwork-orange style. bc historically it was like oh god do we really have to do this again do we have to listen to the you will always be alone and unloved and nothing you do will ever be enough and your life will never be fulfilling in any way spiral again?? do we really have to i'm so tired. but now that channel is muted. a lot of channels have been muted. no amount of cbt/dbt techniques or various other therapy tactics had ever managed to mute those channels before.

and it's just insane it's like the thing about how stunned people with chronic pain are to learn that the normal amount of pain for someone to experience on an average day is none. it's just that but emotionally. bc even with the challenges i still have for autism reasons, most days now i'm fine. the emotional pain is zero on an average day. i now understand what people mean when they say "i'm having a bad day" bc there's a difference. but you see. all my days used to be bad. all of them. even the "good" days involved a degree of visceral emotional suffering and dread. and you don't realize how pervasive the bad is until the bad is the exception and not just an ordinary day.

i do not sit around consumed by the same thought patterns and doom spirals and mental quicksand now i'm just going about my day like an ordinary person and it's amazing how much less life /hurts/ and that's the only way i can think to put it is that every day used to hurt and it doesn't hurt now. past-me was incapable of conceptualizing a life where my baseline wasn't "profoundly and painfully sad and aching at all times" i was 100% prepared to just live like that forever!!!! and now if i have a bad day that's all it is an outlier i thought people in movies were just doing a bit when they had a "bad day" and the solution was just have a big piece of cake and cry a little and go to bed early and you'll feel better tomorrow bc i never felt better tomorrow! now i just feel better tomorrow if i have a bad day! most days the emotional pain scale is a 0/10.

like this is so long already but those of you who have been around for a long time you know how nuts this is for me. and i'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason even bad things and for a few years i've been like huh wonder what the reason is for the whole getting beaten in the head thing though. well. it exacerbated the working memory issues. and it got on my goddamn nerves. so i asked to try this medicine so i could remember to get my soup out of the microwave. and then it fixed all the problems that have plagued me since i was a small child. and now i'm able to conceptualize a day to day life that isn't just Hurting all the time when i once thought i would never do anything but hurt.

[ruporas]

can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

Sometimes u just gotta find things to distract you from Arlecchino until she comes out

Like decorating your teapot to be a family home for Arle, her wife Furina and their 3 kids, Lyney Lynette and Freminet

[im-traumatised]

When the joint pain so bad you can't even hold your phone for too long

[lith-myathar]

.

[kohakhearts]

cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc

pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement

[dancing-with-stars]

guys. guys !!!!

[designernishiki]

im at the haruka + akiyama duo section of 5 now and i love it <3 both for the uncle/niece sort of dynamic they have and because i fucking love me a murder mystery baby

[theythemmer]

for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain

[cruelsister-moved2]

so much misogyny goes so unrecorded like i briefly had a crisis over my dissertation like maybe its not that deep and im being a snowflake but the thing is even though you can also always find examples of men being openly hostile and terrible a lot of the time you just look back and see a woman who didn’t progress with her career and you don’t know that its because her male bosses privately didn’t think a woman was competent or her husband made her feel guilty for working. most of the misogyny that impacts my daily life i have to stop and think... when they look back they’ll never know this was happening to us!!!

[woahajimes]

i hate tumblr new format. alsooo whatd i miss

[the-starlight-papers]

I’m so tired of my physics lab group because it’s me and then a bunch of guys who went to the same Christian high school in the same town as my university and they just talk about guns all the time.

Today one guy was telling a story about his cousin who’s in Communications so the professors are more liberal so she has to deal with them “talking about pronouns and crap.” Same guy has a sticker on his phone that says “I support FREE SPEECH not ~POLITICAL CORRECTNESS~”

Of course they were all talking about the Citadel shooting in Nashville too and how the shooter was trans.

@the-starlight-papers

[yuumei-art]

Unreachable

Wandering mind, full of creation

Meandering lines, lost in elation 

Each stroke, I broke a little inside

Each fate, I hate. My will defied

I painted this in Feb 2022 about what it's like to be an artist with repetitive strain injury. In 2008, When I was 18, I made my first comic titled 1000 Words, it was about an artist helping a little girl with a broken family similar to my own. It received such positive feedback that I changed my Environmental Science major at UCBerkeley to Art major. Ever since then, my goal has been to tell stories with my art. Stories that are important to me. My next comic, Knite, was about a boy who wants to put the stars back into the polluted skies of China, my homeland. The comic after that, Fisheye Placebo, is a cyberpunk story about living in the age of technology, about fighting censorship and propaganda.

Unfortunately, I never got to finish Knite nor Fisheye Placebo. By the time I was 24, I was drawing day and night with no regards to my health. Not only did I get repetitive strain injury in my drawing hand, but my entire health suffered. My roommates had to rush me to the ER after fainting one night. I remember looking at my swollen right hand, my fingers like sausages, not even able to hold a pen, and just cry.

I've gone to the doctors and physical therapists. One told me I have Lupus (I do not), and another told me to put ice on it. More recently, I met a friend who happens to an amazing physical therapist and he was able to help me regain a lot of use of my hand. At my worst, I could only draw an hour a week, but now I am able to draw 2 hours a day. My hand is unlikely to fully heal, but I'm so grateful to regain what I have.

To my fellow artists who suffers the same, please know you're not alone. I can't promise that it'll get better, and it's cliche to say don't give up, but I want to keep hoping that no matter what the world throws at us, we will continue to make art.