#but like. fuuuuuck man.
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For some reason, my communication with the social worker/counselor associated with the clinic has gotten?? Attached to the email conversation with my dad after he drank rubbing alcohol???
#addiction cw#which basically went: me: hey dad ilu and also what the fuck? him: haha I ‘got a bit funny’ and drank something I shouldnt have#anyway that’s how my 2020 started🤪🤪🤪#it was such a weird night bc like I was in van so I was just panicking with no tangible way to get more information or help#suicide cw#and at first I wasn’t sure if it was just Addict being Addict or a suicide attempt#I was downstairs in the living room bc this was back when I felt comfortable in the common spaces of my apartment but I went upstairs when#I called aneki bc I wanted privacy. and E was cleaning Ashe’s cat box in my room. very nice and helpful! but I know my face probably fell#and I left quickly without saying anything. and I’m sure it was probably nothing but like she never checked in to be like ‘hey you seemed#shaken up before. what was up?’ and like. I was in Cannot Be Having Any Problems At These Guys mode#and I just wonder how it looked from her perspective and if it was ‘b’s being a bitch’#anyway. it’s not about me this is just one of the many many things I have never spoken to anyone about#and god I just wish I could trust my father to make sane choices#I have to accept that he’s a grown adult and he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do#but like. fuuuuuck man.
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This one's for the dilf enjoyers
#barry sloane#joe bear graves#captain john price#its pride month let me be gay on main#tomorrow is nyc pride so DOUBLE reason to post this#tumnlrs gonna kill the quality but idc#gifs would be good for preserving the quality but the video. the fuuuuucking video#this man is down bad and so desperafte hes just like me fr
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Good Mythical Tour: Link ❤️
#good mythical tour#gmm tour#link neal#fuuuuuck#he is so pretty#in chicago and washington he wore the exact dame outfit#and i told him that and he was like “i ran out of clothes”#my MAN#how do you even do that#you knew exactly how many tour dates you were going to#lmao#he was unfortunately committed to the baggy pants on this tour#and lot of white#he looks so good UGH#also#link running fingers through his hair#hehehe#my post
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Society has fallen down ever since Shio stopped making an appearance in chapters.
#shio yotsurugi#my beloved daddy#tsk tsk tsk wakui#why would you create a perfect masterpiece of a character then toss it aside#idc if he'll show up later i need him to show up dramatically and cause a scene EVERY chapter along with complimentary familial chaos#he better show up next chapter or the next flight will stop at Wakui's house#even if in a flashback or a nightmare sequence or smth#and preferably all oiled up and flexing those arm tattoos#...mind your own business it's for personal reasons#but actually i need to see more and more of him i don't want him to only appear again in the final arc likely four years later#such a great potential of EYVIL rich man who does EEEYVAL deeds with a side if ANGST and DRAMA#OH I LOVE IT#but especially those yummy biceps and that buff physique and the very expensive outfits and how could forget the tentacles astro Mmmmm#purely suckable- fuckable- wreckable- LIKEABLE LIKEABLE I MEAN LIKEABLE-#FUUUUUCK#negai no astro#astro royale#daddy shio
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Mmmmade the most delicious filling dinner tonight but all I can think about is this 25$ for ingredients meal would have been fucking 6$ as a kid
#tortillas ground beef cheese seasonings cream and frozen veggies#capitalism SUCKS#it’s always sucked but like fuck man#food doesn’t stretch like it used to#I work so hard for every dollar I get from commissions and like literally all of it goes into groceries#I’m lucky to have family who pay their share and let me cook and shop for us all but fuuuuuck just once I’d like my cheese to not vanish in#three days
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If Dean was canonically bisexual I wouldn’t have depression. Thats it, send tweet.
#The chemistry he has with other men is insane like#deanbenny#destiel#”he was my gay thing”#that man is gay#a complete homo#dean is bi#we were robbed#Confirmation please#pls pls pls#jackles answer for your jacting choices#like wtf#“I need you”#gay#gay as fuuuuuck
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Part of me wants to empathize with the cishet man who is afraid to even appear gay. I think what the cishet man often fears by being seen as queer in dress, in mannerism, in taste, in speech, is that he fears his manhood will be stripped away, his humanity questioned. It's uncomfortable to think. It's uncomfortable to feel, and when you often don't face that for who you are, it feels even more biting. It feels like you have been stripped of a comfort you have had for decades, for your whole life, in one fell swoop.
It's certainly rooted in queerphobia, sure, but as a trans man? I would be lying by omission if I pretended like my own manhood wasn't questioned daily because of who I am, if I pretended like I haven't face violence for my manhood. I would be lying if I pretended like it's perfectly safe every time when people suspect I am queer (not even trans, but "just" queer).
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#queerphobia#queerphobia tw#i can understand the impulse but the thing i won't understand is when a man turns to violence to ~prove~ he is not One of Us (derogatory)#and i have had cis/het men who were horrified to even know people like ME exist and i have encountered some disgusting displays of hatred#it's things like this that make manhood interesting to me. it's the contradictory idea that man is independent whilst also...#...being hyperdependent on maintaining An Image and defending That Image to the death if necessary#off-topic but FUUUUUCK redd animal crossing for the fake painting i bought by mistake
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something about jesse custer repeating cycles of what's been done to him and how the show drives the point home of how that's Literally Hell. reliving the same day over and over with tulip after dallas. trapping the saint in the armored truck in the swamp like the coffin he was put in. when he's mad or challenged or upset, dropping back into the righteous preacher casting judgement on everyone around him for not being good enough, fully and hypocritically aware of his own mountains of sin and not sure if he'll ever be forgiven for them. boy you are sooooooo fucked up
#ignore me#HELL IS YOUR WORST MOMENT ON REPEAT FOREVER. AND JESSE KEEPS DOING THAT SHIT TO HIMSELF#preacher#<- da teevee show version#WHICH IS ON NETFLIX NOW IF ANYONE WAS CURIOUS#god it's good it's so good. fuuuuuck. man.#there's like a Lot i didnt pick up the first time i watched bc i was 18 and had shipping goggles on#im just blown away by a lot of the acting and directing choices this is such a good show dog
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WHY DID THE REBLOG THAT FAILED TO POST ONLY GO THRU AFTER I MADE A NEW REBLOG. MOTHERFUCKER
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I wish that who uses only "she/her" or "he/him" referring to Mizu kinda get the drip that Mizu isn't neither a man nor a woman.
That whoever is using only one of these pronouns is actually seeing that Mizu is kinda beyond gender shit, and any other category.
So when using those are all in a genderqueer/genderfuck way. When calling them girlfriend or man or bf is in an ironic way.
I really wish I'm not seeing people thinking Mizu is a woman just bc they are AFAB or bc "this trope is ant-women" terf's shit. Cuz I guarantee that Mulan (1998) and Blue Eye Samurai (2023) aren't being feminist in a simple "We Can Do It, too" way, but rather "See, gender roles are stupid and fuck you if you think that genderqueer people don't exist and people are only MAN or WOMAN."
Man, I really hate when people look at a genderqueer story and think only in binary. Adult Mizu could have been a woman if they really were one, cuz the point of they being perseved as a boy was only to be more difficult to find them as a kid, when their mom couldn't protect them with her hands or power, cuz she had none.
I think that when they were in the wife role, they weren't really performing it as a woman, but more like a duty commonly attributed to wife (more like my father being the cook in the house and a really good caretaker who is really considering and cute, and also being the dad figure, when my mom is in the finances business of the house and isn't the best caretaker of all times...) and for they mom respect and consideration, cuz they loved her and wanted to show their love, retributing by marry that guy.
But they were rejected by their mom and their husband, when being their own singular self. When showing they weren't the wife, neither the woman people thought they should be.
Yes, they suit a masc appearance and mannerisms, but it seem dehonest to call them a man. They really don't perform a man image.
Just like non binary transmasc or butches... We aren't really men just bc we are mascs. And we aren't really, by the book, women, solely by the fact we are AFAB.
Why? Cuz it is just like that. Gender isn't the binary we were thought and I wish everyone a really good search and thinking on genderqueer thesis and documents, already documented discussions and a read on "Butch Blues", a watch on "Tomboy", etc.
#blue eye samurai#queer discourse#more like#queer rant#cuz im pissed fearing people are missreading the whole show#just bc Mizu is genderfucking around not giving a single shit about the binary#only doing what makes sense and (i also thinking) better suits and easy theirself in their skin#they wear a binder for fucks sake#it cant be thay they are binary#neither Mulan really was binary to be honest#look at how the movie ended#they weren't shouting “Im a binary woman human being”#they werent denying the improviment on self-realization that they had#also they were seemed to be kinda ok and enjoying it#not like “oh fuck I really hate being in this situation. being persived as a man”#fuck you if you dont agree#by the “but is better to be a men” logic trans women and transfem nonbinary people wouldn't fucking exist#soo fuuuuuck youuuuuu#im really not in to a discussion#this is my statement#not an invitation#if you disagree bc you think those points im criticizing are right#and you also want to talk???#i just want to punch you in the face you fucking transphobe#this is no discussion#and stop invalidating queer people's history. lives and ownselfs#fuck you#mizu
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#fuuuuuck#who gave him the right#coming in here looking like that#frank grillo#i’d climb that man like a tree#thirsty thursday#instagram#instastory
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oof
the bfs of them sunderland brothers :0
#i lost my apple pencil#and now i gotta boot up my pc and whip the tablet out#fuuuuuck man#anyways someshit that includes walter and james being quote on quote brothers#au shit i guess#i dunno i’m like stupid#harry mason#henry townshend
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just one more,,,,
#this took way too long man.#its not even that i necessarily suck#i mean i do. but im decent at this fight.#but its ng+6 and i wanna bwat her solo and fuuuuuck malenia can dish out a lot of damage 😭😭#i mean she always does. thats kinda her thing as a late game boss.#but she dishes out A LOT of damage.#like two hits and im dead kinda damage#which is. uhm. less than optimal considering she can also stagger you with her combos.#either way! she's beaten now!#and thats all i could want
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Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south
#Cw gun mention I guess#I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers#And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses#And NO curtains or blinds because she's old#And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE”#In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot#And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard#But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold#Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us#Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid#It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn#But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid#And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot#Literally what the fuck is this.#“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US#Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like#I fuuuuucking hate it here
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beloved aro blog thank u for that response to the anon who didnt know how to tell if they were aro (it says asexual, but maybe that was a typo?). i generally use the aro label for myself because it fits 95% of the time but that 5% is when the doubt comes in and i feel like im "faking it." but that anon u answered has Cleared the Cobwebs of Doubt. youre Right. Amatonormativity is So Prevalent. the paragraph about wanting romance bc romance, or wanting romance bc society says u need a romantic relationship to get xyz thing from life Hit Me So Hard. i think i will come back to this post every time i feel Unsure about my label. so thank u for placing your words in that order for me. love loses. love wins. violence. have a great day homie
first of all. i'm ur beloved aro blog 🥺 nd yeah i do think it was a typo haha
second of all i'm so glad that it helped out for you :) the thing about amatonormativity is that you will constantly go "it can't be doing ALL of these things." but then it IS. EVERY TIME. you look up and amatonormativity is warping your ideas of self-worth and your plans for the future and your interactions with friends and family and holding society as a whole in a fucking vice grip and it's fucking. stealing your lunch money too. idk. that bitch. you know how it is. anyway that 5% is so real and you're so real for feeling it and it is NOT silly or cringe to take a few seconds in the bathroom mirror telling yourself "you ARE aromantic. and it's okay." if that's something that'll help. and also yada yada "aromanticism is not one uniform experience and arospec identities are valid and you can call yourself aromantic even if you experience romantic attraction sometimes as long as it feels like a label that's relevant to your experience" all the things that i'll say anytime someone is coming to me saying that they don't know if they're Really aro haha. just to get it out of the way. sounds like you've got stuff in a good place rn and i'm so glad that you're feeling that way :) hell yeah brother love loses!!!!! aromanticism forever and ever 🖤
#man who never stops talking about aromanticism when someone lets him talk about the logistics of using the aromantic label#GOD i need to write my little aro theory posts so bad. i need people to have a framework in place#so that i can talk about the way that amatonormativity has fucked up our societal concepts of morality cause like...#saying 'amatonormativity has a huge influence on whether you are seen as a morally good person' is WILD with nothing behind it.#but it's true. anyway. fuuuuuck dude.#love you anon kissing you hope you have such a good day. write in anytime#ask#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aro positivity#aroace
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life is strange 2 is making me sad as fuck. i think sean diaz has suffered more than jesus
spoilers in tags
#but seriously though. fuck finn for this whole mess. that was such a betrayal#i ratted him out not bc i want him to go to jail but bc i didn't want to implicate myself or the others#i know in game logic i should implicate myself to be heroic and selfless but i was thinking irl logic but also#fuck this guy! why would i take the fall for him! he completely fucking betrayed me and put my brother in danger#after me and cassidy told him multiple times not to!#he's so childish and selfish and egotistical.#but it felt like i should've went in and talked to him when i was escaping#but what was i gonna say#hey finn i ratted you out bc you did this to urself and also i fucking hate you#so i just left#he's such a fucking dick man#it was SO selfish. because he was like i'm just doing it for u and daniel#1) you're putting daniel in danger because he is a child and you are robbing a man with a gun#and 2) i told you to not do it. so ur not doing it for me AND you're defying the wishes of the CHILD's guardian#he just does what he fucking wants because he thinks he's right and he's being a saviour but he's not even listening to me#and i don't care that daniel asked him to do it with him. he's a fucking child. i know he's been through a lot but he is still nine yrs old#fuuuuuck i hate this guy so much. one of my most hated life is strange characters so far
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