#but like the good ones not the infantilizing ones

[breelandwalker]

Thank you for elaborating! I appreciate the clarification. (And I appreciate you taking a somewhat more civil tone with me than with your comments section. Frustration I can understand, but it does behoove us to be patient with each other in order to encourage meaningful discourse.)

I do think this is a discussion worth having, partly because you bring up some valid points with regard to making distinctions between witchcraft practices from New Age pseudoscience and junk theories, and partly because this is an excellent object lesson on the need to move past our own opinions and egos when dealing with the broader witchcraft community, particularly because it's not a monolith. (What community is, right?)

I agree that using the term "energy" in reference to one's life force or the power behind magical workings or the shared vibrations of a group in ritual or the broader music of the cosmos may be an oversimplification. But in terms of accessibility, it's a nice, simple word and a concept that just about everyone understands, regardless of the context. This can be especially useful when you're having a conversation with practitioners from various paths and traditions who have slightly different ways of doing things.

True, it gets bounced around in New Age speak quite frequently, but to say that reduces or nullifies its' value in witchcraft spaces sounds rather like giving up on a perfectly good word. After all, there are plenty of terms that exist in witchcraft that are also (obnoxiously) overused by New Agers. How many "clearing" or "cleansing" videos have we all rolled our eyes at on the socials? And yet, clearing and cleansing are still vital concepts in witchcraft, though they generally don't refer to dodgy medicinal practices. All this to say, the co-opting of a word by New Agers (or worse) only diminishes its' value in witchcraft spaces if we let it.

As for terms like "witchy" and "baby witch," there's a certain amount of seriousness involved with witchcraft, it's true. You do have to take the craft seriously if you want to make progress and you do have to grow as a person in order to do so successfully. But there's also a point when growth requires us to stop taking everything so deadly serious, including ourselves. There are lessons to be learned from play and silliness and shedding the trappings of ego and self-consciousness.

"Witchy" has entered the common lexicon in a playful way that allows witchcraft and witchcraft-adjacent things to be more accessible to the non-witching public. Accessibility leads to acceptance and we could use all the help on that front that we can get. Is it a slightly unserious word? Sure. But is there really anything wrong with being unserious? And does that really matter when the people who are attracted to it might go on to more serious investigation?

The same with "baby witch" - perhaps it is limiting or infantilizing, but it's accessible as an entry point for some people, and with time and guidance, they will outgrow it. (From a personal standpoint, I'm seeing it used less often than it was even a few years ago, mostly in spaces where discussion groups and non-judgmental communication are strong, though a steady replacement has yet to be found.)

Also, in terms of public image and respect, I highly doubt that the existence of terms like "witchy" and "baby witch" will make much difference in the minds of people and parties who would never respect our community or take it seriously anyway. If hundreds of books published by respected scholars and and religious recognition by the state couldn't make them take witches seriously, nothing will.

And on that note, let's move on to Wicca.

Gerald Gardner was not solely responsible for the creation of Wicca. He died before its' official inception and others who had been in his circle took up the movement. One might mention such notables as Doreen Valiente, who we have to thank for MUCH of what constituted the roots of Wicca in its' first officially incorporated iteration. Furthermore, the religion hasn't even been around for a full century and yet it has already evolved enough to have its' first schism and has changed with the times more readily than some other religions I could name.

To say that no one should practice Wicca because people involved in its' creation and evolution have been problematic is like saying that no one should be a Christian because of the Crusades. I'm not sure how the broader public is expected to treat the witchcraft community with seriousness and respect when some of us can't even seem muster the maturity to respect other witches when it comes to differences of religion or relative levels of experience or commitment.

While I can respect and agree with your personal preference to not use certain terms or follow certain paths, I might suggest having more conversations with witches whose traditions differ from yours. You'd be surprised how much we can learn from each other when the need to be Right or Superior is left at the door in favor of open communication and understanding. And I speak as someone who has BEEN THERE. There are enough forces in the world seeking to divide us without our own judgmental tendencies or poor attitudes furthering the problem.

Anyway, thank you again for taking the time to respond (and to read this wall of text my brain spat out in response, I appreciate your forbearance). Best of luck on the path!

Witchcraft vocabulary I’m surprised is still used in 2025:

- Witchy

- Magick

- Energy

- Karma

- The Goddess™️

- G slur

- Baby witch

[self-loving-vampire]

Even putting my issues with the fandom aside I just don't find HDG stuff hot. It really does come off like "What if your dom was one of those Nice Lady Therapists who constantly infantilizes you and puts you in a conservatorship for your own good?" and I'm just not about that personally.

Something about the setup feels kind of sterile and unsexy, like that type of person is just completely unfuckable to me.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

TXT's Tea Session

Dislaimer: No facts, all alleged, just my interpretation of the cards and messages.

Alright, time for the next tea session. Time for to get to my other favorites. I feel they got some tea, so let's see what they are willing to share. I feel this group always shares some fascinating insights.

Yeonjun

I see him very protective of his career and assets. He can be selfish in that way. He always looks to expand his career. I can see him being open to sexual favors if that gets him where he need to be and expand globally. It may have been with an older female, as the clarifier was the Empress, hopefully he didn't get a chick pregnant, but it can also mean to be able to create he had to sleep with this person. He does feel caged and very in control. He may not liked to be tamed as he is.

He is showing they are infantilized and coddled a bit too much. They can't really mature in some ways. And that the higher ups don't want them to outgrow them and prosper too much. He is showing me that there is competitive energy between the members, maybe they are out up against one another. He is showing some sort of rituals they may do, but he isn't elaborating on this. Pulled more cards, it is something that helps them gain success, so maybe doing rituals and spells to help with their success. Nothing new there, been getting that.

I wanted a clarifier for the 5 of wands. He seems to actually not like the drama or competitive energy around the group. Although, he may care about success and his money. He does want less drama and for all to get along and be more loving towards another. He rather distance himself from that and would rather separate himself from it. He might also feel it isn't good for their careers to have all this drama and fighting. He wants them to stand as a united front and be a loving family, so whatever disagreements the other members may have, and I do see that. He separates himself from that noise and isolates himself, until things get resolved. He wants no part of it. He wants them to be emotionally connected. Not going to lie, thought he was a bit cold, and about his career, but he genuinely seems to want them all to get along.

Hmm, it took a while to get something out of him. He doesn't open up so easily, but got some tea, as I would expect.

Soobin

I can see him being emotionally turbulent, maybe got offered some drink that cultivate that. He isn't very stable, and emotions can get the best of him. He seems to run on his emotions. He struggles to stay balanced. I don't see him being very grounded. I see a female energy being problematic for him. I do sense he has been traumatized. He could have dealt with some sort of abuse. It is hard for him to stand strong through it all. He seems to have his guard up and tries to protect himself.

There could be some contracts or deal he foolishly signed into, no surprised there. I don't think he was aware of what he signed into. I just think he didn't know all it takes to get to the pinnacle of success. Backstabbing, lies and deceit and a sense of imbalance. I believe it is hard for him to manage it all. He kind of struggles to balance all the responsibilities of it all. He had a naive approach to it all.

Wanted more card for this Empress and got some not-so-great cards she is a problem in his life. She causes chaos and turmoil for him, makes his life a living hell. I am not sure if this is his Mom, or a mother figure in the company. But the Hierophant card showed up, so she can be part of the company. I see her having a strong desire to see them succeed, but she can be too much and overbearing and quite problematic. She may even confuse him and could say hurtful things to him, or maybe he said something to her. She makes it hard for him to reach new levels and maybe even find peace of mind. She may be part of the reason he is messed up and emotionally all over the place.

Beomgyu

He seems determined to get what he wants. He is a passionate individual and there may be something he wants or may fight for. I can also see him not really being about the money, more so the creative pursuit. He may want things to be more creative, rather than it be about how to make money or focusing on those aspects.

He seems to go through these modes of being emotionally numb, bored with things, distant and then he can be very self-indulgent. But I can also see him not taking those drinks they may offer and decline those things. He does seem to find a way to dissociate and disconnect from time to time. Like he may not want to face reality at times. He could drink (alcoholic beverages) to numb himself. Or there is some escape mechanism he used to avoid the reality.

He seems to try to balance all aspects of himself and tries not to lean to far into one end of the spectrum. He tries to be rational, logical and smart about things, but can also be very in the clouds, imaginative and idealistic about things. I see him clashing with others, maybe a war of words, due to his desire to be more creative and wanting more creative projects. He is pretty stubborn and I see him having no problem expressing his grievances and disappointments to the higher ups. I just keep seeing that he wants more creative pursuits and there is a disagreement on that and he is at odds with others, due to that. He isn't showing me anything new here. I have seen this in his energy for a while.

I don't see Beomgyu as someone with dark secrets or anything. Although, he does show off a timid and shy appearance. He seems pretty vocal and demanding about his grievances and seems to not keep quiet about that behind the scenes.

Taehyun

Seeing some discrepancy with him and others, possibly the members. He is at odds with others. This could do with an attraction, he may have an attraction to someone, could be a member, yup saying it. This is a tea session. Not going lie, could be Kai. He ends this spread with cups, which is about emotions. This is how I see this.

He may feel betrayed and backstabbed right now. He could be depressed. He seems a bit distant now, possibly avoidant, maybe trying to avoid his own emotions. So, it does seem he is focusing his energy on work and trying to do things to keep his mind off of things. I see him doing his best to escape his feeling, but also just reflecting and spending time to himself.

This 5 of Wands keeps showing itself with this group, definitely drama surrounds them and the members. I see manipulation, backstabbing with him, is it him or others, not sure. I am also seeing, and I saw this with his reading with Soobin. He may have did some sly shit to him, to knock him down, out of jealousy and competitiveness. I needed more cards, because this is interesting, so I got the Emperor, this always gives me check mate, a need to one up someone, so he may have felt the need to do that, and then I got, 5 of Pentacles and 9 of Cups, a need to take someone out to get what he wants.

Need more card, because he is bringing the tea! I got the 7 of wands rv and the 6 of cups and got boundaries being crossed in the past, had no clue wtf that means, so pulled more cards, and got the 3 of cups, strongly feel this is himself, Soobin and Kai, there is something about work and moving forward or a difficulty to do so, I wish I can get more information, ugh, I want all the details, but can't get it. I will pull two more and that is it! He gave me the 3 of wands, 3 again! And Empress, creative energy. Okay, this is simpler than I thought, it is a struggle for them to tap into their emotions, because of that they can't nurture the bond they have and move forward. It is just stagnant, also a need for them to be more compassionate and understanding of another. Okay, I am done officially.

Wait, another thing that came up while reading this back. Just with them there is a lot of combative and aggression energy and not enough emotions and compassion with these guys, which creates this turmoil. They are just not in touch with their emotions, which causes all these problems. They are all, mainly the 3 I discussed, have not done the healing work yet to move forward in a positive direction.

Huening Kai

He is showing a disagreement, being at odds, this could be with Tae or Soobin, since this is the exact same thing that came up in Tae's reading or the people within the company. These next cards make no sense to me. Ace of Swords, sharing some information. 10 of Wands, heavy burdens, carrying a lot of the weight and 3 of cups, rituals, magic spells. But that can also be the 3 members I been mentioning. Pulled more cards and still makes no sense, the Star card is also about sending something out to the universe. There is a plan for him to make some sort of change.

He might want to leave the company, maybe he told Tae about this and that upset him, but he may want them to join him. I see him wanting to go against the company head, maybe seek Justice. He wants to utilize his talents elsewhere. He may not think it is utilized there. He may be tired of making money for this person, he seems to think he is a lazy bumb and they do all the work, which is why he wants to dip, maybe so he can make money on his own terms and for himself. I see him wanting to expand even further than he is. He may feel the company holds him back.

He seems to want to take control of his life and may have a plan. He feels trapped and limited, a bit suffocated. It seems he is starting to follow his heart and intuition and letting that lead him. He also sees things clearly and has observed things he may have not liked. I also see him wanted to make money for himself and take control of his own money and assets. He is tired off the stress and the mental games they may play with them, the back and forth. Yeah, he wants equal distribution of money, the work he puts in he should be paid for and it seem he feels he doesn't. He may talk to the other members, I feel mainly Tae and Soobin about going after the company together and demand what they want or leave together. But they may not completely side with him there. He wants to shine, but he may feel he is being stifled.

Alright, I spent way too much time with this one, but this group was the most fascinating, which I was expecting to be honest. The more I read for them. The more interesting they are to me. But I will stop here.

[madelynpryor]

kids who dreamed about creepypastas saving them from their homes grow up to be batman fans i dont make the rules

[tallerthantale]

The central concept involved here is what is called 'theory of mind.' The history of this one gets a bit thorny because of ableism.

'Theory of mind' is about being able to understand that the information / knowledge / perspective that other people have is different to your own. It was first measured in tests evaluating the ages at which children typically started to form various cognitive processes.

Back in the day people studying autism noticed that autistic kids would fail those theory of mind tests at much older ages than neurotypical kids. The prevailing theory at the time, (which is unfortunately still quite prevalent) was that autistic people had no theory of mind. As in, they weren't cognitively capable of conceptually understanding the idea that other people don't know everything that they know, haven't seen everything they have seen, ect...

So the people working with autistics would try to address it by patronizingly lecturing like, 'that person is a different person, who isn't you, who wasn't in the room when that happened.' That is really unhelpful and infantilizing with autistic adults. This has lead to a lot of autistic adults being pretty touchy about the 'theory of mind' topic.

What is actually happening is more complicated. With any human brain, there is a serious limit on what information can go into conscious awareness at a time. To avoid clogging up that working memory space, most information processing, sorting, and memory retrieval is done on an unconscious autopilot. When we interact with other people, we are typically running a lot of automated assumptions about a shared basis of knowledge. I'm not going to double check that each individual word I say is a word they have heard before, I'm going to assume they have been in buildings, and eaten food, and sat in chairs unless I have a specific reason to doubt those things.

Everyone's brain is subconsciously making automated assumptions about what is shared knowledge and what isn't. The automated process in autistic people just assumes far more broadly. So typically we have to put effort into building a conscious processes to do that work deliberately. If we are distracted or overwhelmed, we end up falling back to the overbroad autopilot. When we have time and space and spoons, we can be extremely good at consciously modeling what things other people know and what conclusions they might draw from their perspective.

The flip side of that, which doesn't get enough attention, is that neurotypicals are almost always running these processes on full automatic, and that makes them extremely vulnerable to systematic errors. Neurotypical theory of mind has a higher average autopilot performance (with predictable gaps) but it struggles to break out of that autopilot or to develop awareness of the predictable gaps.

Raising my kid (who is autistic) has made me realise as an autistic person that a surprising amount of communication failure in, at least these, autistic people is forgetting that other people are like separate people who don't share a hive mind with you

Some examples:

- not bothering to give verbal signals of what you're doing when others can't see your actions in a conversation: ie nodding when they have their back to you instead of saying yes or saying "coming" instead of "coming right after I shut down the computer" when you're called into another room

- assuming everyone thinks the same way as you do about a particular aspect of life and being repeatedly shocked, over and over in your life, to find that's not the case

- getting frustrated that you have to actually explain your thoughts processes and context of what you're trying to explain when they should just understand

And I do understand that everyone is a separate person living their own unique lives with many different ways of looking at and experiencing the world...

but also what do you mean you don't understand things that I haven't explained!?!? We share a psyche! What do you mean romance isn't a bit!?!

It's like we have a bit of programming that lets us connect to the hive mind but there is no actual hive mind and we're a little bit disgruntled by that

Now there are probably going to be autistic people who disagree but the people I know personally who are autistic understand these moments. I knew I did it but I didn't contextualise it in my issues with communication until I was a parent and had a kid doing the same shit to me

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[beanghostprincess]

i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.

people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!

[gremlin-pattie]

House m.d. is better autistic representation than The Good Doctor could ever hope to be

[maevesweirdart]

i hate hate hate having PDA (pathological demand avoidance/pervasive drive for autonomy). at work. at school. at home. everyone is like “do the thing” and i’m like “…… k” because i *want* to be able to do the thing, and i know everyone *expects* me to do it, and *all i want* is for people to see me as a trustworthy adult and not flaky or lazy, and i just. can’t???

i’ve been told i’m “making excuses” so so so so many times. eventually i started to internalize it. i tell myself that now. it doesn’t help.

[slingbats]

its like people think if you call a fictional character cute it means you forgot that they're an adult with agency within their stories who makes morally bankrupt decisions

you guys are enjoying this one too much

[shalom-iamcominghome]

My thoughts on jewish politics are nuanced and convoluted in many ways, but if somebody comes at me with the idea of categorizing my thoughts as being in line with the "good jews" or the "bad jews," you've just got to assume I'm not One Of The Good Ones.

[themightymoose]

Hot take that shouldn't be a hot take: don't refer to actors or well known people in general like you would refer to fictional characters

[lycanr0t]

i feel very frustrated about the trend of giving chil body hair bc if it was any other anime twink i would be thrilled its just that it seems to only be because people are SO afraid of him looking young they have to make him hairy to justify liking him in ships.

meanwhile it does directly go against canon (he literally is supposed to look like a child. this is integral to both his character and his race's lore as a whole and it makes no damn sense that he would be mistaken for a child if he has body hair i mean. cmon.)

and it's like. some men are hairless. some men look young. when youre a trans man in your 20s-30s its especially common to be mistaken for a teenager, even more so if you're not on t. and short. these traits do not make you less of a man or an adult. :/

[drolta]

I hope Claudia escapes the afterlife and eats some of you fr

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

this commercial is so special to me, not only because it's a cultural staple and I remember seeing it a TON back in the day, but because despite it being a silly pepsi commercial, it was actually so self aware. I feel like this was the first big pop culture moment to point out the hypocrisy of men who resented young female fans and the media they enjoyed by making a comparison to the very real obsession of male sports fans. And for a massive face in the NFL to be the one who respects the boyband in the end, despite it being played for laughs, was honestly so refreshing. We all needed this back then, and she will always be iconic to me.

[sleepboysummer]

lowkey sue from carrie pisses me off