#but like now all i know is that my friend is hurting and theres nothing i can do
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weezerlvr228 · 2 months ago
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hi fam !!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#mikey welsh#ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially#and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me#and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her#i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her#and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone#and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore#and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party#and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad#and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do#to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left#my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it#sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t#even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish#i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and#didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible#and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction#and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !
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the-pea-and-the-sun · 4 months ago
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chat what do u do when it kinda seems like a girl likes u
#“ermmmm ask her out” *INCORRECT BUZZER* its not that simople#i feel like once i got a bit of self confidence i started realizing this actually does happen sometimes#but everytime i realize i dont do nothing abt it so nothing happens#and tbh im bad at reciprocating#learned to tone down my rabid love and attraction to my friends but now i think i went too far in the other direction#it isnt even just “how do u pull” question either its more like. hey do u like me if not no problem if so#then i like u too but maybe not the way u like me. but not like jsut friends either im just not really a boyfriend type of guy#not that im not into doing bf things im just probably no substitute for a boyfriend yk. unless you dont want a boyfriend then im perfect?#umm but not like in a im not capable of affection type of way i can be affectionate. too affectionate even. um#idk man. the convo wouldnt even start w “do u like me” i feel like id have to start with “do u know what a qpr is”#theres so many layers to this onion man. id like to just be friends first an see where that goes#but i kinda feel like ive fumbled like five hot people that way#at least im still friends w some of them :) BUT NOT ALL OF THEM !!#basically its like. should i pursue long term friendship or short term fun. also really really dont wanna hurt anyones feelings#is this a vent. im not rly upset im just kinda down bad and frustrated#also im high 👍 and the heatwave is slowing my cognitive functions i think
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abluescarfonwaston · 6 days ago
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Oh boy it's rotating Manfred Von Karma hours. Rotating him like evidence until all the juicy bits fall out because I think he's neat.
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imthatwannabeauthor · 3 months ago
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#been feeling very. idk. lonely tonight#theres truly no reason for me to#my friends are. pretty much a text away#as is my lovely partner#normally id worry about him reading this post but the last few weeks he hasnt been looking at my posts much#so im 75% confident they wont see this. and hey. maybe if he does then i'll. like. garner the attention ive been hoping for#but hoping for that make me feel not only like a dick but an abusive manipulator so my hope is he actually wont see this#hes doing stuff with family anyhow so. im hoping he'll just have a nice evening#idk i dont wanna like. drag anyone down into the pits of despair i keep finding myself in despite trying to distract myself pretty constant#idk i think im really only posting cause i feel like im all alone#and i just burned my arm on a candle flame bad enough it singed off my arm hair in a noticeable patch#and im watching the skin the area turn this soft brown color and splinter off like its head dandruff and i just. dont wanna bother anybody#ive run it under cold water btw dont worry im not like. gonna slip into hurting myself again im already so angry that i broke my fuckin#almost a year and a half clean streak back in January and kept at it until like fuckin March#but im gonna stay clean . i am GOING to stay good and clean because im already so fucking angry at myself about a lot right now#and i fuckin. do not need to add broke the stupid fucking clean streak fo hurting myself again to the list i just DONT need that on my plat#idk. im just lonely i guess. im just lonely and feeling horrifically amounts of unlovable#idk. i havent been telling people stuff recently#ive been working on trying to lose weight again recently. didnt eat nothing for 36 hours and had a hypoglycemic attack at school#and scared my fuckin friend doing it#and i havent actually told no one#cause im being GOOD#im being so good with it#im losing the weight im looking better slowly.#and that means that i should be loved again soon that means that that idk#idk#i hope no one fuckin sees this post#i just. dont know where else togo to rant about this stuff.#i wish i wasnt clean at all#i wish i didnt have time built up at all because i want to feel the faux good
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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I've gone through a character arc today. I'm... better(?) now
#speculation nation#animal death ment/#turns out shoving all my grief down and refusing to process it in fear of experiencing negative emotions is detrimental to me#i just went through all my pictures of cassy. experienced again what a loverboy he was...#cried again. twice. miserable experience honestly. i dont know how people do this more than a few times a year.#i have a few videos of him. including him watching a bird video on my computer.#unfortunately i never did capture his meow. which breaks my heart but there's nothing i can do about it now.#i'll just have to hold that sound in my memory. his obnoxious 'mraaaa' that could get comically long when he was begging for food#it hurts. but i'm allowed to remember that i loved him. i'm allowed to remember what he was to me.#an obnoxiously bullheaded cat that was strangely skittish at the same time.#it was annoying at the time but i treasure the memory of when he got out of my apartment unit#and i went chasing him up and down the stairs of the central area several times yelling 'cassy get BACK here!'#as he loudly did his 'MRAAAA' the whole time as he ran from me#my baby boy. tally loved him too. it hurts my heart that i cant communicate to her what happened.#no wonder she hates june bug so much. her friend disappeared & then a few weeks later theres This weird new cat#hopefully in time she can be friends with june bug too. there was a solid month or two where she haaaated cassy lmao#before a switch was flipped and she was grooming him every time he sat in front of her.#cassy may have lived for too short of a time. but he was very very loved. and i can see that in the records of him.#he was purring for me in the end. my sweet loverboy...#... i was going to try writing before work today but it seems like it's a grief processing day.#oh well. it's probably better for me overall.#negative/#sure. i guess.
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netflixofficial · 2 years ago
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Ever listen to a song you've heard a thousand times, but suddenly one of the lyrics just jumps out and gut punches you from nowhere?
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phagodyke · 8 days ago
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didnt think it was actually physically possible to experience worse period cramps than I was already getting every month but being back on the pill again has proven me wrong đŸ« đŸ« đŸ« đŸ« 
#bad enough i now have a new step on my pain scale i dont think ive experienced a 9 until now all i could do was sob and thrash around#its gone down to.maybe a 7.5 now but holy fucking shit. what the fuck is wrong with my fucking body. i can feel each cramp pass through#every individual muscle fibre thryre so strong im shaking. girl fucking chill out ur not in fucking labour!!!!!!!#nothing is fucking helping i took twice my usual dose of naproxen half an hour ago and it hasnt had an effect yet i wish i had#codeine that wasnt combined with ibuprofen bc i cant take another nsaid unless i want a stomach perforation fucks sake i usually have#cocodamol but im out rn maybe ill just take a bunch of paracetamol too and hope for the best#tens machine had absolutely zero effect the thing is i can feel the tissue doing the same involuntary spasming without it#the heat is the only thing bringing it down from that 9 i can already tell im getting burns but oh well#was very close to calling emergency services once i regained enough coherent thought to be able to open my phone#but i dont think theres any point now like itd be so low priority itd take hours and hours for anyone to show up by then itll have eased#man i would do fucking anything for smth stronger tho please. i can be trusted with morphine.#ik i have a friend with access to some maybe i should call him. its fucking 2am tho and he lives the next city over and idk him that well#and he was talking abt disposing of it anyway so maybe he doesnt have it anymore. ugrhfhjh. man#not finishing this course ik theres only 2 days left but fuck it. no more hormones unless they agree to prescribe me stronger painkillers#if i cant find a way of dealing with this shit im going to have to kill myself im not doing this every month for the rest of my life#its getting progressively worse anyway so maybe itll actually kill me before i can do it like maybe ill get a crazy rupture and bleed out#but man im in pain all the fucking time even if its mostly mild and then once a month i have to experience this and im supposed to carry#on living my life around that and waitlists for tests are years let alone treatment and i cant fucking afford to go private#and i dont know what to do any more about it im so so so fucking tired and it hurts so much and i wish someone else was here with me rn#and i havr to be up for work in 4 hours. although i wont physically be able to go in if this doesnt subside bc i cant fucking walk#but if i have to take a sick day and be alone with this pain without distraction. ahahahahahahaha. im in danger#okay okay okay i think meds are kicking in a little the edge is softening. im going to refill this again and try to sleep if i can#fucking drama man. my jaw hurts from clenching it so much#.vent
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futuremercifulnerd · 5 months ago
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I miss having friends
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strab3rr · 3 months ago
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(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT
I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY
IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)
i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how
anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)
two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water
youve read it correct drinking water.
i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.
i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)
being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage
being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)
being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)
glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)
dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)
healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)
and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)
then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:
new phone, +macbook air
dream apartment of my own
pinterest closet
lifa app for this reality
financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)
knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)
a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)
my parents being more lovable and away from me
every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling
and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)
then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)
one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.
still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀
4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much
a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.
and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.
for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.
sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.
oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.
YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.
and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.
and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.
and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.
and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS
i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself
because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KÄ°SSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)
is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check
the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck
dream body and hair- check and check
i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself
not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.
im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help
now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess
loves, siena.
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solxamber · 23 days ago
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hellooo i just needed to say your writings are like super cute theyre like my bedtime stories atp JHDJJXHS but could i request a little hurt comfort headcanon with adeuce seeing a reader who usually is always very cheerful and upbeat. Theres sometimes theyre anxious and worried but overall reader is seen as someone whos strong emotionally like nothing can bring them down. Until something does get them down with tears rolling down their eyes and theyre desperately trying to hide this side of them that they feel so vulnerable letting others see. How would the boys react to such a situation?
aww thank you <3 i didn't know if you wanted separate or together so you get both!
They react to you breaking down || Ace and Deuce
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Ace Trappola
Ace’s immediate reaction would be shock. He’s used to seeing you as a ball of sunshine, someone who shrugs off worries with a laugh or a witty remark. Seeing you cry? That’s uncharted territory for him, and it throws him completely off balance.
“Hey, hey, what’s with the waterworks?” he’d say, trying to keep things light-hearted, even though he’s panicking internally. But when he realizes you’re trying to hide your tears, it hits him like a ton of bricks.
Ace might not be the most emotionally articulate, but he cares deeply. He crouches down to your level, blocking your attempts to turn away from him. “You don’t have to act tough, y’know. It’s okay to be upset. Even you deserve a break from being the strong one all the time.”
He’d sit beside you, offering his sleeve (or maybe a tissue if he can find one) to wipe your tears. “Come on, talk to me. I can be serious
 sometimes. I won’t even charge you for my amazing advice!” His humor is his way of trying to comfort you.
Beneath the teasing, he’s surprisingly gentle. He stays close, his presence steady and grounding, and he doesn’t leave your side until you’re ready to face the world again.
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Deuce Spade
Deuce would immediately panic at the sight of you crying. “W-What happened?! Did someone hurt you? Who was it? I’ll take care of it!” His first instinct is to go into overprotective mode, even if he has no idea what’s going on yet.
But when he notices you trying to hide your face, his heart aches. He’s always admired how strong and positive you are, but seeing you crumble makes him realize just how much pressure you’ve been under.
“Hey, don’t do that,” he says softly, his voice full of concern. “You don’t have to hide from me. I’m your friend—I want to help.”
Deuce would sit down beside you, his presence calm and reassuring. He might fumble a bit with his words, but his sincerity shines through. “It’s okay to cry. I
 I cry too sometimes. It doesn’t make you weak. It just means you’ve been holding a lot in.”
He’d hesitate for a moment before reaching out to gently pat your shoulder or hold your hand, giving you the comfort of physical support. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. You’re not alone in this.”
Deuce is the type to quietly stay by your side, letting you take the lead in how much you want to share. If words don’t help, he’s content to simply sit there, offering you a safe space to feel what you need to feel.
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Together
If Ace and Deuce stumble upon you crying together, they’d play off each other in their own chaotic but heartfelt way.
Ace would try to lighten the mood with jokes or teasing, but Deuce would elbow him and say, “Now’s not the time for that!”
They’d both sit with you, Ace on one side and Deuce on the other, creating a protective little bubble where you feel safe to let it all out.
Ace might gently nudge you with his shoulder and say, “Come on, you don’t have to deal with this alone. You’ve got us, remember?”
Deuce would nod earnestly, adding, “Yeah! Whatever’s bothering you, we’ll help you fix it. Or
 or at least listen. We’re here for you.”
Their dynamic would be a mix of Ace’s playful energy and Deuce’s heartfelt sincerity, making you feel both comforted and loved. They’d stick with you until your tears turn into smiles, determined to remind you that you’re never alone with them around.
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Masterlist
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emmyrosee · 10 months ago
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So Urm just a thought u got any
. Deep non curse sukuna angst I think it’s a good day to cry.
-anonđŸ„ą
Sukuna is nothing if not self sabotaging.
Things with you have been good. Borderline perfect; you’re the missing piece to the life he’s cursed to live, where he’s always self aware of his weaknesses and takes them out on those around him. There is no blessing, not when all he does it hurt. It’s a miracle yuuji and choso deal with his shit enough, he knows they should’ve dropped him off the face of the earth with the pain he causes.
Now, it seems, it’s your turn.
Your turn to be on the receiving end of his fury, his rage and heartbreak, your only chance to escape being to leave him; maybe that’s all he wants: you to leave him.
He stopped calling you. Stopped answering texts. When his brothers and parents ask about you, he merely stays silent, opting against making you sound more divine than they know you are.
You’re perfect. You’re not for him.
Theres a pounding on the door that goes unanswered by everyone in the house, and he groans as he gets up to answer it, only to reveal your frame in the door.
You look distraught. You’re angry, he can see that in your eyes, there’s a betrayal buried deep in them. Your face holds a scowl and your breathing picks up at the sight of him.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Sukuna rolls his eyes and walks away from the open door, knowing you’ll follow him no matter what. “So?”
“So?” You ask, offended. “You and I are supposed to be in love, supposed to be partners in crime-“
“Im hearing a lot of ‘supposed to be,’ and not a lot of ‘have to be’” he snaps. He hears you take a breath to say something, but you don’t. He screws his eyes shut. “Get over it. I didn’t sign a contract with my blood saying I have to come to your every beck and call.”
“Sukuna. Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Being an asshole,” you say firmly. “Let me in. I’m here. What’s going on?”
“I’m sick of you.”
At his blunt words, you gasp, and sukuna feels the bile rise up his throat. He’ll do anything though. Anything to make you stop loving him. “What
?”
“I’m sick. Of you,” he echos. “You checking up on me, demanding we go out, flaunting me off to your friends like I’m some damn trophy-“
“Because I love you!” You hiss. “I want to show you off, make the world see how lucky I am to have you!”
“‘Show me off?’” He cackles, spinning on his heel to face you. ïżœïżœïżœThere’s nothing to show. I am nothing to you. You, are nothing to me.”
You reel back at his words, waterline swelling with tears as you are wounded by his words. “You think because I take you out on a few dates, we kissed a little and I held that little hand of yours, that you’re anything special to me?” He shakes his head with a cruel chuckle, “I’ve done that to every broad I’ve ever been with. You’re not special. Never were anything more than a body to me.”
You puff out your chest like an animal trying to protect itself, “then what about the nights we cuddled?” You demand. “What about our late night trips to McDonald’s or 7/11? What about the nights you cried in my chest about your miseries and hardships, and I carded your hair and cradled you close to my body?”
“What about them!” He yells, the cracks in his confidents breaking. Those moments mean the world to him, and for him to now force you to use them against him has his blood running cold. “Yeah, I let you see the softer bits of me. Who cares?”
“I do!” You wail. “Because it made me think, for one second, that we could be something special! Something we earned and worked for together!”
“I think you forget,” he snarls, “I lived a fine life without you in it. We can go right fucking back the minute you started thinking this bullshit.”
You flinch at the harshness of his words. It’s working. Sukuna feels it. The love you have for him dwindling, the connection being frayed and severed with every pass of his words-
“Then do it,” you whisper. “If your life was so great loveless, then go back. But just know, I’ll never stop loving you. Ever. You’ll never have the peace of the freedom of heartbreak when it comes to me.”
With that, you take a step back, followed by another, but your eyes never leave his. Your bottom lip wobbles and you grab your coat over the back of his chair. He watches as you cover your mouth with your hand before dashing out, slamming the door behind you and leaving a trail of tears. His eyes are fixed on the door that’s finally stopped shaking on its hinges from the slam, as if waiting for you to sweep back in and demand his love, demand him to care and want you back.
But it doesn’t come. You don’t come back.
He can’t fight the urge to swipe everything off the counter with his arms in a fury, plates and cups flying off and shattering under the force. He pants like a voracious beast, angry and predatory, but he’s grounded as he steps on a shard of crystal from his mom’s wine glass.
And now, rather than chase you down the street, begging for your forgiveness, he sits down, using his hands to pick up the bigger shards. There’s an unfamiliar trickling down his cheek of hot tears, one splatters to the floor, and that’s it. Sukuna, with the monster he worked so hard to keep at bay, ruins another paradise in his life.
He cries alone.
All alone.
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i-smoke-chapstick · 4 months ago
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‘SAILOR SONG,
-THEPENGUIN!SOFIA FALCONE X READER-
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⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; You run into Sofia at Berto’s funeral. You’re the only one who can calm her down.
⋆ tags/warnings. sofia falcone x female reader. ANGST AND COMFORT!! Might make this a series if anyone likes it enough <3 she’s my literal BABY im so in love with her it makes me want to kms! she deserves SO much better i just wanna give her a hug (and a kiss). slight homophobia mentions, past relationships (but unclear), THE HANGMAN!!!!! Based on 1x2, bertos funeral ! she is my girlfailure wife and i need her
♫ “Begging, baby, would you please? / Do the things you said you'd do to me. / And when we're getting dirty, I forget all that is wrong / I sleep so I can see you 'cause I hate to wait so long.” Sailor Song by Gigi Perez
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High tides. That’s what Gotham is, after the haunted return of the Batman. At least, that’s all you see around you now. Theres blood in the water, and the sharks have all come to hunt.
You think it’s all bullshit. The bat, the Riddler, this fucking funeral. You hardly knew the man, and you know it’s a waste of time. Everyone dressed in black here is only cutting their losses. It’s all out of fear. Berto was unabashedly himself. And that was weak. He tried too hard to be his father.
You scan the funeral, which might as well be a party for some of these fuckers, and hold your breath. Okay, maybe you’re more upset than you’d like to admit. Nihilism appeases the soul where optimism does not. You’d only had very few conversations with him, but he was
nice, to some extent.
It’s a day of mourning. And that’s what you do. Memories come to you in unsafe and ungrateful waves, alerting you of every interaction you’d ever had with the man of the night.
“Hey, so,” He scratched the side of his head with his index finger. “Wha- What’s up with you and my sister?” A bitter smile on his face, nose scrunched in faux curiosity. You’d known better. You grew up your entire life in Gotham, and you had known a thinly veiled threat when you’d heard it.
“Sofia?” You’d asked, lighting a cigarette. The sunset flooded through Italy’s streets. It wasn’t your first summer here. You took a long drag of smoke, thinking of how to phrase your answer. The Falcones weren’t stupid, none of them were, not really. “Nothing.” You settled on, dabbling it out in the ash tray. “Why?”
You’d expected some bullshit to fly from his mouth. The family
That you were an outsider. That whatever the two of you had going on was distasteful. A woman and a woman. Not a good look in the papers. Weak willed woman frolicking together in Gotham’s underground. You expected him to insult you, and her. What would their father think?
But Alberto didn’t say anything like that.
“If you hurt her,” He began, and you felt yourself visibly recoil. “I’ll have to, you know,” He motioned with his hands, forming a gun with his forefinger against his temple, and a pew sound. “Pop your top.”
Returning to yourself, you find it in yourself to be greatful. For Alberto, not ratting the two of you out. Whatever you two had
was more than the both of you ever managed to let on. Small touches here and there, kisses when you played house. Laughing underneath streetlamps, painting her nails. And then she got locked up in Arkham. Your best
friend.
And now she’s finally released. Idiots with poster boards outside begging for her return to the loony bin. She’s somewhere in this house, on the same floor as you.
You mindlessly sip on your glass. Alchohol is your real friend tonight. The undergrounds in shambles, the entire city is. What’s stopping you from leaving? You don’t know. Not until you see her.
She trails in the room, and the first thing you hear are overwhelming whispers. You don’t pay attention to them, how could you? Her hair tied up messily, sticky bangs and beads of sweat on her forehead. Her makeup is neat, but just barely smudged.
She’s bug eyed as she enters, chest heaving in
anger? fear? She pays much more attention to the whispers than you do, you realize.
“She’s crazy,” You hear from behind you. Faces hide behind there glasses and hands, leaning down and gossiping amongst themselves. It makes you sick. She makes you sick. Even more so, as she seems to lose herself. It starts with a small bite, digging at the finger food, before she picks up heaps of it in her palms. Over and over and over again

“That’s enough,” You whisper, sternly, grabbing her forearm. Her mouth almost drops open with the food, eyes widening even more. She stops chewing, and for a moment, it seems everything and everyone is finally scilenced.
She doesn’t say a word in her shock, her arm falling down. She lets you guide her out the room, and the both of you ignore the comments from passerbys.
When you finally reach an empty room, you close the door. Her blood runs cold, and she’s perpelled to the edge of the room, like a cornered and vulnerable prey animal.
“What are you doing here?” Sofia drawls, clearing her throat. Her cheeks are tinged pink from embarassment, and her nose twitches in frustration.
“I knew him too.”
“No, you didn’t.” She remarks, firm in her stance. Her jaw is clenched tight, and you sigh. You make your way over to a couch, sitting down lazily. It doesn’t feel how it used to.
“Yeah, I didn’t. But I got an invitation.”
She ignores you. Straight to the point.
“You’ve heard. What they are saying about me, out there.”
“Hard not too.”
She scoffs, letting out a hmph noise. She turns away from you, blinking.
“Well. Do you believe it?” She tests, arms crossed. You feel your eyebrows scrunch, and you give her a once over. You want to scream at her, that she isn’t crazy. That whatever she’s done isn’t her fault, not completely. But you can’t claw the words out- not after not seeing her in years.
“You do, don’t you?” She continues. She stops pacing the room to take a seat parallel to you. You bite your tongue.
A beat of silence, and something in her dark eyes takes it as your final answer. Theres something deeper, darker swirling in them you can’t quite place. She’s not the same girl you knew as a child.
“No,” You whisper, finally, and watch her perk up. “You’re not crazy.”
She stays silent as she looks at you disbelievingly. Like you’re saying it simply to appease her. You find it in yourself to let the tension melt away, leaning back into the cushions.
“You don’t need help.” You affirm, and her expression is unreadable. “You aren’t broken. Or whatever those fuckhead doctors told you in Arkham. You’re just
” You trail off, needing to word this right. “You’re just your fathers daughter.”
You expect her to ask ‘what thats supposed to mean?’ but she doesn’t. No
she looks too vulnerable in this light to fight back against you. Again, silence sounds, and you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.
It’s only when she speaks, voice trembling, do you see her resolve break.
“Why didn’t you visit me?” It’s quiet, almost a whimper, and her voice breaks. “In Arkham?”
There it is. The question you’d been dreading, mostly because you didn’t know the answer yourself.
Her eyebrows are pulled together, nails clenched into her own skin. You go to tear them from her palms, opening them up to find the marks. She doesn’t say a word. She makes no move to push you away. She’s too tired. She’s greiving, her father, her mother, her brother, her sanity.
You lean down, and press a gentle kiss to her nails. A strangled sound is ripped from her at the action, and you notice how her eyes turn glossy. You decide to ignore the question for now, watching tears finally slip from her eyes. She’d been holding them in for what felt like forever. But not with you, she finds, she could never hide anything from you.
You pull her in, embracing her for all its worth. She immeadiatley falls into you, open mouthed sobs against your shoulder. You hug her tight, and it feels blissful. After so long of only seeing her on TV reports and pictures, touching her, feeling her, is heavenly. Just like it used to be.
She still smells the same. Her makeup runs as she cries into your shoulder, and you gently hush her. You pet her head and hair, cradling her like she’s fragile glass about to break. She’s yours. You’re hers. You always have been.
Rocking her back in forth, you place a kiss on her forehead. When she leans into you, you place more. Soft little pecks across her skin, to her head, wrist. You kiss all her tears away as they fall. Sweet and salty, wetting your lips. You feel her try to catch her breath.
She pulls away from you, hair messy. Her lips are parted, and her pupils blown, and theres a silent promise in the air between the two of you. I’m with you. Im on your side. I am the woman who wants you to win.
Her hand trails to your cheek, and she looks at you worshipfully. Her eyes flit to your lips, as if asking, begging for just one.
You nod. You could never deny her anything. She leans in, tentiavley, before connecting your lips. Memories flash through your head. She tastes the same, acacia honey and cigarette smoke. Besides yourself, you deepen the kiss, and she responds tenfold.
Her hands thread through your hair with a gentle tug, as if there is a feral need buried underneath her skin, to possess you. Remind herself you are here, and you are hers, not an illusion. Not a nightmare. She would kill for you.
You have to almost fight her to part for air, pulling away with heavy breaths. She doesn’t let you get far, resting her forehead against yours.
For better or for worse, she has stuck her claws in you. You realize she will not let you go. Not tonight. Not tommorrow. Not ever.
Breath intermingling, her body heat radiating against yours, you can’t find it in yourself to care.
You stay like that, unanswered questions still plaguing the silence. You’ll answer them one day. For now, you choose only to lose yourselves in one another.
You regret not telling Alberto the truth before he died. She’s not nothing to you. She’s everything.
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pruneunfair · 3 months ago
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Tropes in manhwa are awful yet people still defend them
I'm in a bad mood right now so what better way to release all that pent up anger by ranting on what can ruin a good story.
1: Slavery being inserted only for cheap plot and slaves being demonized as obsessive/greedy monsters for "not knowing their place"
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Theres nothing wrong with wanting to insert slavery in your story AS LONG as it's not just cheap plot to make your MC look "better" by buying from a single to all of the slaves because let me tell you this: there is no such thing as a good slave owner, you cannot morally own another human being. A lot of manhwa like to have slavery be a part of their plot completely ignoring that just because the MC goes "wow this is terrible" doesn't make them a good person after they buy a slave.
Remarried empress does this with its villian Rashta by pushing the notion that she's being greedy for not wanting to stay in poverty so Navier won't suffer because apparently a slave wanting what the silver spoon mouthed nobles were born into is so terrible not to mention they justify slave owners and slavery in general as a punishment for criminals (neglecting the fact that children can be sold by their parents)
The villainess has fun again justifies a child slave being bought by the lead and he becomes an obsessive shouta love interest, fans continously justify by using the ancient lolicon excuse "he may look young but he's actually 99182823 years old!"
In divorcing my tyrant husband, Robelia buys 30 slaves and the only 2 that consistently show up have no other personality other then "we love you FL we will worship you till the end of time!"
There's a damn manhwa out there literally called the order of slave breeding and even when a story tries to do this correctly such as VADTD with Penelope being portrayed as a bad person for what she did to Eckles, fans have been so deluded by the idea that FL's buying slaves is "girlboss" that they think Eckles should be grateful to be Penelopes "pet"
2: ML's murdering innocent people after one guy hurts the FL
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I already made a specific post about it before and I'll say it again: all this does is make your male lead/father figure look like a horrific monster. While you could say it's because its a medieval kingdom (objectively that is true that they would do this) manhwa and OI is the same place where despite in those times taking a mistress was considered normal they still view it as cheating and "how could you pick that slut when you have such a perfect wife!? đŸ€Ź" in most stories. So yes, modern morality is still inserted within these tropes. While I can get it's a way to show that the man in questions loves the FL so much he's willing to go to such lengths to protect her I think just mutilating the guy that actually did the sin would be enough because try imagining yourself as a faithful servant who was amazing at your job getting brutally slaughtered by the Emperor because your boss attacked his daughter or lover.
Into the light once again does this with Aishas dad murdering all the relatives and close friends of a count that tried to kill Ysis and Aisha, Aisha doesn't seem to care despite being in a situation where she was wrongfully executed in her past life.
Remarried empress does this too. After Navier is nearly killed by Krista's brother, Heinrey tortures and kills the dad and slaughters the servants of the zemensias. I can't remember if he also murdered the remaining family members but I wouldn't put it past him.
3: protagonist centered morality
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Protagonist centered morality is the biggest indicator that a piece of media is dealing with a mary sue FL. Whatever the protagonist says is right is immediately morally correct. This is actually used to justify the last 2 examples with "it was for the FL!" Things like slavery, murder, workplace abuse, union busting, pedophilia, and being a POS to your loved ones are all justified if the protagonist finds a cheap way to justify it and you HAVE to agree with her because her backstory is very tragic đŸ„ș. Protagonist centered morality also ruins the chance for good characters since the FL herself never has to grow as a person so she stays the same exact thing as she was just with more enablers and random characters will be treated as villains even if they aren't actually wrong about being suspicious of the Protagonist or calling out her behavior. It twists the narrative in such incomprehensible ways that you don't even know what your reading anymore. I can't even list all of the manhwas that do this given how many there actually are so I'll just list some that are at least self aware there Protagonist is awful/morally grey or isn't even a bad person but they still have flaws that can be pointed out
Villains are destined to die
My in laws are obsessed with me
Not sew wicked step mom
Depths of malice
The villainess turns the hourglass
Beware of the villainess.
4: villains being dumbed down to make the lead look smarter
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This is unfortunately another common staple often used as a quick way to make the FL look smart and witty but is that really hard to look smarter when everyone else around you is an idiot? Not only does the FL not have to put in actual effort to best her enemies but you just start to pity the villain for basically being a punching bag. Dimwitted villains aren't always bad in fact they can be some of those most entertaining characters no matter much they lose but that only works when they are meant to be seen as a goofy character that your not supposed to take seriously. Villains that are written as extremely childish and stupid but your still supposed to treat them as serious antagonists on the other hand are just annoying since you wonder how the protagonist even got killed by them in the first life if they're so stupid.
Isabella de Mare while admitly having a good reason for being dumbed down (she's a teenager in the 2nd life so it's reasonable she wouldnt be as smart as her adult counterpart) is still a joke of a villainess who keeps flipping back and fourth from a snot nosed whiny brat to a mastermind only at convenient opportunities when the plot needs conflict.
Mielle from the villainess turns the hourglass was first portrayed as extremely conniving as she arranged for Arias downfall in the shadows but in the second life she fails at every scheme she has even though she has Emma and Isis to help her out.
Ragibach is a literal demon possessing the body of another woman with the goal of setting demons loose on the word to start another human vs demon war and she succeeded in that the first time, the devastation was all there so clearly she has to be a formidable antagonist right? Well no, she's another case of being dumbed down further and further so Keira can succeed and while they do understand some plot holes such as Ludwig not trusting her as much in the second life it doesn't change the drastic character change from evil genius to bumbling idiot.
In short: dumbing down your villains so your lead can look smarter is essentially going to give the equivalent of a hydrogen bomb vs a coughing baby.
5: feminine women being demonized as basic "other girls" sluts
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Okay this one isn't nearly as terrible as the others on this list because we all love the good old "a demon makes itself look beautiful to deceive humans" kind of villain, in fact as you probably know by me by now, white lotuses are my favorite kinds of character and even in media outside of manhwa I always find myself drawn to angelic villains but it seems like this is less of that and more of "Oh those are all the other girls who just want a man to save them, look at how much better my badass rich boss babe is for working for herself while taking all of their men at the time 😎" in manhwa. As soon as a traditionally feminine girl shows up, comments are already calling her a two faced bitch and half the time protagonist is already skeptical of her. This is the opposite of what being a feminist really is, a real feminist wouldn't be putting down other women just because they dress with more pink with bows and skirts and while I do think for most manhwa this is unintentional I do wish that we could have more characters like Psyche, Helena, Athy, and Jennette that prove that being overly feminine doesn't make you a backpedal on feminism. This doesn't make the badass or sexy fl's bad either, it just means they can co-exist.
An angelic villain should be treated as evil for being a well calculated schemer, not because they have a light colored color scheme
6: toxic relationships being romanticized as good
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You know for a large community that claims to be about girl code a good chunk sure likes to look the other way when it comes to toxic relationships as long as the abuser is "hot" and theres always the terrible excuse such as "he has trauma!" Or "he doesn't know how to show his love normally!" No just no we aren't doing that here. Cry or better yet beg has this problem with not only the narrative claiming that Matthias graping Layla is okay because she actually loves him and doesn't know it but a large part of the fanbase also defends it, the same goes with try begging, a manhwa written by Solche who also wrote cry or better yet beg and once again despite Leon being an abuser everyone's ready to justify his actions because he's just a soft little boy who ends up falling in love with Grace awww 😍 (what the hell?) Everyones all about not justifying abusers because they had a sad past until it's the "sexy" male leads with daddy issues.
7: maid slapping
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This shit isn't asserting your dominance as a boss bitch it's just work place abuse. This trope has gotten so out of hand of being justified by narratives and readers that there is an entire webtoon called this isekai maid is forming a union that's all about criticizing twisted manhwa tropes that get brushed off with maid absuer being at the biggest one. It's funny because a lot of people complain that Isekai maid union villainizes the nobles too much but they never ask the same questions when a OI is demonizing maids as greedy and lazy in order to deserve a beating. This doesn't just stop at hands either it can escalate to threats of mutilation just to assert dominice which is absolutely sick. Most of the time these leads used to be office workers or terminally ill patients, they know how terrible it is to be treated like garbage by their superiors yet they continue to absue every maid who isn't getting on their knees for them. Most maids in real history would not mistreat a noble even if they were the most hated in the house and even if they did they'd be fired without a letter of recommendation so why can't the FL's just fire the rude maid if they care about dignity so much because I'm pretty sure getting violent with a maid isn't very dignified either.
8: disgusting age gaps
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Very similar to #6 but in this case while the ML/FL isn't a cruel monster to their partner it doesn't change the fact that grooming and pedophilia is still a crime worthy of life in prison. You'd think "oh no way, this can't be justified can it?" You'd be wrong. Now I belong to house of Castillo thankfully has a larger fanbase of people who think that a relationship between a girl who got groomed by her knight is bad but in cases like into the light once again a lot of people like to say "Well Aisha is technically 28 so it's fine!" When it really isn't since Aisha is still mentally 14. Taming my ex husbands mad dog is another one that does this with Reinhardt grooming a 16 year old boy and its apparently meant to be "cute".
9: claiming a character as unattractive yet giving them a perfect body and appreance
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I just think this is a major cop-out since there's time where they want to make a realistic story yet also wanting a fantasy fufilment. I don't think its a coincidence that the only woman in tears of a withered flower that yout supposed to support is a Victoria's secret model body type. Even though she's meant to be an overworked exhausted 33 year old woman being mocked for losing her beauty she sure as hell isn't drawn that way, the only other women around hae soo are all women with smaller boob's and in general more common body types that are either classed as stupid or jealous that Hae soo is so beautiful that all the attractive men want her
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how about we don't pit all the women against each other for once? And let's especially not villainize other women because their jealous they could never be have large boob's and tiny arms+waist at the same time?
10: the commoner protagonist actually being a noble rich person all along
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Look I know most of us had loved those "the hated child is the lost princess" GLMM but we need to drop it because it's kinda disappointing that the nobody who had to work their way to the top is actually a secret magical princess who had royal blood in them all along. While I did think the villainess turns the hourglass was a pretty decent read I was super disappointed finding out that Aria was of noble descent all along. I liked seeing a commoner protagonist for once and it really felt like it was critiquing the idea that all commoners and poor people who want nice things like the nobility are greedy animals. Something similar can also happen with certain saintess manhwas that decide to twist itself into "the villainess was the true saintess all along!" And I'm just sitting here thinking "well there goes the hope that you didn't need the super duper rare power to be a strong character"
I feel way better now after writing all this.
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ivysprophecy · 2 months ago
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coincidence
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warnings: this isnt a very... girls girl chapter XD got inspo from that one scene in oth where haley slaps daneel ackles lol sooo underage drinking, cursing, drinks thrown in faces, hair pulling, reader being difficult XD idk what else
word count: 1490
prev. | next
masterlist
summary: things with jj had been great, steady even. it was a whole month of pure bliss, so is it a coincidence that you predicted this was gonna happen?
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
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things have been so great. jj and i have been great i should say rather. its likes nothing has changed but it has in the best ways.
and no ones said anything. no questions no pestering.
just us.
its been about a month since that day on the beach and to be truthful the sneaking around, stolen kisses, and small touches, its been so much fun.
granted i dont like lying to all of our friends but i think its been beneficial to our relationship. theres no pressure of any watchful eyes.
and its very helpful when they expect all the touching and glances anyway so like i said, its been easy and thrilling,
which leads us to now at a bonfire in the boneyard dancing and drinking and relaxing.
"im gonna go get another drink okay j?" he pats my thigh giving me that damn smirk.
"bring me one too mama, just a cup from the keg."
"you didn't use your manners maybank," i stand up looking back at him with a teasing smile.
he rolls his eyes tilting his head back pretending to be fed up with me. "please mama?"
"i suppose i can do that." i send him a wink. "ill be back in a minute, dont miss me too much."
"oh i miss you already," he smiles knowing exactly what its doing to me. hes sitting against the rocks with his legs spread and his arm splayed next to him resting against where i was sitting.
fuck he looks good. wanna take him home and climb him like a damn tree.
unfortunately to get to the keg i have to pass through the crowds of tourons, kooks, other pogues. its a giant mess of music, drama, and body odor.
with a few excuse me's and shoves i finally made it to the keg and coolers that house my preferred rum and cokes. i make my drink before grabbing jj's, marking the cups appropriately with one of the sharpies laying around.
ive only had three so its still legible.
doing my best to push past the crowds again with out spilling my drinks it takes a little longer to find my way back to my boyfriend.
who, when i turn past a group of people, i see him leaning against the rocks with some girl shoving her tongue down his throat. aggressively might i add.
so i do what any rational person would do in this situation. i threw my drink on her.
"fucking bitch!" i pull her off of jj by her obnoxiously long, thick, and blonde ponytail, "who the fuck do you think you are!? huh?! you like being a boyfriend stealing slut?"
"woah! woah? y/n-" i feel someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me away from the girl, "take a breather i can explain-"
oh tell me he did not just say that.
"you can explain? you can explain how im gone for five fucking minutes and youve already got some dumb fucking touron wrapped around your finger? fuck that maybank! and fuck you!"
"mama! mama slow down! okay listen- just for two seconds listen to me!"
"i fucking trusted you!"
"you still can! i didnt kiss her!"
everyone has their heads turned in our direction at the sound of us bitching at each others face. including our friends.
this night just got shitty and its about to get a whole lot shittier. im not drunk enough for this. but somehow im also too drunk for this. you know what i mean?
"mama i wouldnt do that to you- cmon you know me. id never hurt you on purpose," jj pleaded for my sympathy.
i dont know if its the alcohol, the rage, or a combination of tonights events with the two. but i cant fucking deal with this right now.
"jj i saw you kissing her! dont fucking lie to me right now. i told you this wasnt gonna work. that it would be too much, too confusing, and that one of us was gonna do something the screw it up! but i prayed to god that it wouldnt be you j! and i NEVER wouldve thought itd be this soon. but i guess thats for the best right?"
"no! no its not- fuck. mama listen i didnt kiss her back! okay?! she was trynna feel up on me and talking about the island and shit and i tried to blow her off but she just-"
oh my god im seeing red.
i dont know whats true. i saw what i saw. i saw them kissing, and his body language didnt seem to convey that he didnt wanna be kissed. but maybe i saw it wrong? could i have? no. theres no way.
a good girlfriend would believe him, but isnt that just naive of me? what if he didnt want do this... i dont know. i dont know, theres no way. this is exactly what i was afraid of.
"jj dont start- i dont wanna hear it right now. i cant. i just cant. im done! im fucking going home. have fun with your little blonde!"
he goes and reaches for my arm trying to keep me close, letting out an exasperated sigh. "how are you getting home?"
"thats all youve gotta say right now? un fucking believable. ill walk home for all i care j but you need to let go of me right now."
"youre not fucking walking home y/n-"
"yes i am," i yank my arm from his grasp "and dont you dare follow me jj. im not afraid to have this fight right now but trust you dont want that. because you will stay single."
god i really wish i hadnt said that.
and with that i walk away without looking back. because i just cant help making things worse, its what i do best. i can already hear all the rest of the pogues running up to him with all these questions and i have no fucks left to give about it.
if he doesnt wanna answer them he can go back to the blonde girl. i wont be surprised.
what i am surprised about is to have john b run up behind me, turning me to face him gently.
"hey- um youve been drinking i dont really think you should walk home alone," john b, always playing hero.
"ill be fine jb. really. go back to sarah and jj ill be fine."
"you keep saying youll be fine but you look like youre about to cry."
damn. am i? i reach up to touch my face and feel a small trickle fall from the corner of my eye.
"look i wont bombard you right now just- let me walk you home? please? make sure youre safe?" i cant lie, itd be nice to know someone gives a damn about me right now.
"thanks john b... thats actually really nice of you," i wipe my tears away and sniff away the cracks in my voice.
how could i be so stupid? i dont do stuff like this. ever. and i just let it happen.
but i'm not wrong am? it cant be a total coincidence that i specifically brought this up with him and this is how it ends?
"... so... you and jj?"
"i thought you werent gonna bombard me?"
he throws his hands up in surrender "its only one question."
i sigh, throwing in the towel because one, hes my friend and he deserves to know. i shouldnt have lied to any of them. and two, it would feel nice to get some of this off my chest. "yea. me and jj. for about a month now.."
"a month??"
i send him daggers with my eyes warning him this is not the time as we walk down the dirt road that leads home to the chataeu.
"sorry- youre right. i wont bug you about it yet."
"yet," i let out a laugh that sounds bitchier than i meant it to be, "im sorry we didnt say anything... i was kind of afraid of this exact thing happening. wanted to keep it low key."
"i get it..." he leads me up to the door where he pauses for a minute. "but y/n/n, for what its worth i think you should hear him out. jj has done a lot of things, but cheating on you? thatd never be one of them."
i open the screen door taking off my flip flops as he speaks, unsure of how to take his suggestion.
"youre a really good friend john b. honest. but i need a little space from all of the jj talk right now. tell sarah im sorry i stole you from the party. have fun."
he nods understandingly, watching me flop onto the couch before walking back down the road.
i stare up at the ceiling thinking about how everything went so wrong so fast until sleep takes over.
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themultifanshipper · 3 months ago
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“I don't know why you're laughing
 Having powers gives you a huge responsibility!”
You laughed at Max's offended expression.
“Okay, spiderman, whatever you say”
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Part of my Halloween event!
Warnings: driver!reader, smut, inappropriate use of supernatural abilities, theres barely any plot tbh, kind of dark!max? , everything is consensual but not safe or sane, public sex technically
You both managed to stay polite whenever you found yourselves in social settings, but you weren't going to give up an opportunity to rile him up when it presented itself.
You were at dinner, joking about Max's powers with a few other drivers while the man sat across from you, pouting moodily at the turn the conversation had taken.
You and Max didn't exactly see eye to eye, often coming together on track, and it always ended with one of you in the wall.
“I mean I suppose he's right” Lando giggled “He's got a responsibility not to use his powers for evil or anything like that”
“Evil? Max? You're joking!” Charles guffawed and everyone around the table laughed.
Max wasn't laughing however.
“Please Lando, be serious” you smirked “Max couldn't hurt a fly, he's too nice”
You were only teasing, but Max was getting increasingly frustrated.
He could be evil if he wanted to!
He voiced that thought out loud and you laughed even harder at him.
Max could move things with his mind, big deal.  It wasn't like it was even that useful. Like, sure he didn't need to get up to get a drink, and that ‘s great, but it couldn't really go much further than that.
You didn't notice, but as the hazing went on, his eyes got darker as he got angrier.
The only reason he brought it up was to impress his friends, and feel superior to you, but it had horribly backfired and now everyone was laughing at him.
“Okay but really” George interjected “I suppose if he was angry enough he could lose control and cause some serious damage”
You grinned “Yeah, I'll believe that, when I see it” you scoffed.
You weren't even looking at him, you weren't even giving him the respect of looking him in the eyes while you humiliated him.
He felt it coming too late, the urge.
The urge to make you understand. He was a dangerous man, he just didn't show it.
It happened so fast no one noticed except you.
You felt something turn your head towards Max.
Like some kind of supernatural force had gripped your jaw and physically force your head forward.
Your eyes widened when you made eye contact with the Dutch driver facing you.
His eyes were stormy grey and fixed you intently.
The hold on your face loosened, and the feeling shifted downwards.
It came to rest around your neck and squeezed.
No one else had noticed, all absorbed into their own conversations either side of you. You tried to tell Max to stop but it was useless, the feeling had gotten so tight it was cutting off your blood flow and the edge of your vision was getting blurry.
Before you could pass out, it loosened and you heaved in a breath, staring at Max, who quickly picked up his fork and started eating as if nothing happened.
Your heart was beating out of your chest.
How could he do that to you? And why on earth did the thought that Max could do that make your heart race?
You let out a quiet ‘Max’ to get his attention.
He smirked and his eyes snapped back to you.
“Not dangerous, hmm?” he spoke lowly. “I could kill you right now and nobody would notice until it was too late
”
The feeling curled back around your neck, and you could almost feel the pressure of individual fingers, as if it was Max's hand around your throat.
The thought made you shudder and as it squeezed again, your eyes closed and you let out a tiny whimper.
The feeling stopped immediately and Lando turned to you.
“You okay?”
You swallowed hard and gave him a thumbs up.
“I just choked on my water, all good now” you managed to say while willing away the embarrassment of what you'd just done.
Lando went back to his conversation and you glanced at Max.
His eyes were full of mischief and he bit his lip trying not to laugh.
You glared at him as if to say “shut the fuck up” and he raised his hands in mock-surrender.
The phantom hand came back to its place around your neck, not squeezing this time, just ensuring that you felt its presence.
You were just a girl. A hot man secretly choking you with an invisible hand in public would get anyone wet, right?
Right.
So it was no surprise to you when you rubbed your thighs together and felt your panties getting quite damp.
“I'm not going to kill you, obviously” Max whispered across the table “but I think you deserve a punishment for underestimating me”
“Not here, not while our friends are here” you hissed.
“Well you're just going to have to be quiet then” he smirked and took another bite of his meal.
The hand on your neck trailed lower and you shivered when it cupped your breast.
What felt like a thumb was circling your nipple lightly, making you feel absolutely insane.
There was nothing there, and yet you could feel it. A phantom touch gliding over your body.
Max raised an eyebrow, checking in with you, and you nodded quickly at him.
‘Don't stop touching me' your eyes seemed to say and Max smirked.
The hand went lower still, landing on one of your tense thighs.
You trembled in your seat, this was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating.
Obviously you were very much turned on by the situation, and the fact that you were incapable of stopping Max if you tried was turning you on even more.
You were completely at your rival's mercy.
You decided  to test out resisting, to see what he would do.
The hand tried to unhook your legs to pull them apart but you kept them firmly clenched together.
Max chuckled darkly and whispered across the table.
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way
”
You smiled at him with as much confidence as you could muster, and muttered, careful to not be overheard.
“Do your worst, Verstappen”
The look he gave you was the scariest you'd ever seen on him.
He smiled like a cat that got the cream as he cracked his knuckles and put one of his hands under the table, hiding it from view.
The effect was immediate.
Despite your legs being closed, the unmistakable feeling of two fingers inside you made you bite your hand in an effort to not make a sound.
Looks like Max's powers transcended clothes, and even flesh, as the fingers were hooked upward and rubbing harsh circles into your g-spot, making you shake with the intensity of the pleasure coursing through you.
You could see Max's bicep flexing from where it was visible, but somehow no one else was seeing what was happening as he stared at you darkly, while making you fall apart even with several feet separating you.
“stop” you said as quietly as you could “too much, too much, Max”
“spread your legs for me, then” he muttered.
You opened your legs reluctantly and the hand didn't stop completely, but it did slow down and was more gentle as it stroked your inner walls.
You let out a breath and relaxed your body, glancing around to check that no one was watching, but they were all absorbed in their own conversations.
“Good girl” Max growled under his breath.
After a minute it stopped, and you were about to ask why when the sudden feeling of your underwear being dragged down your legs made you jump slightly.
A couple of seconds later Max looked down at his lap (that you couldn't see) and his jaw hung low as he let out a breath.
“Soaked” he mouthed silently at you and you blushed.
What a perv, using his powers to steal your underwear right off your trembling frame.
You saw him stuff them into his back pocket before the feeling of two hands crept up your legs, stopping at your knees to push them apart and spread you open further.
Thank god the table cloth was long enough hide all of this, because you didn't know what you would do if any of your friends found out what you were doing right now.
The hands slowly rose up your thighs, thumbs digging into your flesh, hard enough that you couldn't close your legs if you tried.
You felt incredibly exposed under Max's dark gaze, and couldn't help but let out a low whimper as one of the hands came up run a finger through your wet folds.
Max visibly shivered, sinking a finger in and curling it upwards again.
The touch was incredibly gentle this time, and the contrast from earlier made butterflies erupt in your stomach.
Despite what he was capable of, he was being almost careful with you.
Another finger slipped in and you had to bite back a moan as your hips twitched every time he curled them up.
You felt a pressure circling your clit and it took everything in you not to react to the feeling, but you could feel yourself getting closer to an edge that you didn't want to reach in front of everybody.
Suddenly, George stood up and announced he was going for a bathroom break, and the movement made the others want a smoke break so one by one they all shuffled out, leaving you and Max alone at the table.
“Who knew you were such a dirty slut? Letting me use you like this in front of our friends” he snarled as the movement of the fingers quickened and you swore under your breath.
“It's not like I actually have a choice, is it” you replied and the scoffed.
“If you weren't enjoying this you wouldn't be so fucking wet. I can hear your cunt leaking all over my fingers”
Now that you were a tiny bit more free to react, you whimpered louder as you also heard the obscene squelch, barely muffled by the table cloth.
As you got closer to the edge he slowed down, not quite pulling out but your legs shook as the pleasure was ripped from you.
“Oh I’m sorry” Max drawled mockingly “Did you want to come?”
You whined as the pressure on your clit increased. “Yes, fuck-“
“Then beg for it. You need to learn that I can be evil when I want to be.”
Ah so that's what this was about, he was just trying to prove a point.
"Sorry I bruised your ego, Max. I didn't know it was so fragi- Aah!”
Another finger squeezed in next to the other two and started a rapid pace, abusing the spot that made you see stars, and the other hand went to thumb even harder and quicker on your clit.
“If you want to come you'd better do it soon, the others are coming back”
You didn't need to look to know that he was right, you heard the boisterous laughter of the other drivers from across the room.
You came hard, muffling your sounds in your palm as your eyes squeezed shut.
You rode the waves as the burning pleasure slowly subsided and you opened your eyes to see the chair facing yours was empty.
A hand on your shoulder made you jump and you turned to look at Lando, who looked rather concerned.
“You sure you're okay?”
You nodded and waved dismissively.
“Just a bit tired”
“Okay, well some of us are gonna share a tiramisu, you want some?”
“Sure” you smiled, and he went off to oorder.
You jolted again when you felt a pair of hands return to your thighs.
You closed your legs instinctively but they were blocked by something large and suspiciously Max-shaped between them.
“Where's Max?” Alex asked as he sat down a few seats away.
“Dunno
” you hesitated “I think he went to the bathroom”
You hoped you were convincing, and that your voice didn't tremble too much, because Max's tongue was currently running up your inner thigh and making its way to where you had made a mess before.
He lapped at your cunt like there was no tomorrow, licking up your juices until he'd thoroughly cleaned you up.
By the time he'd finished, all the other drivers had returned, chatting amongst themselves, none the wiser.
He placed a tender kiss just above your clit, and closed your legs for you before his touch disappeared completely.
He popped up from under the table, back on his side, and went into some long winded explanation about how his phone had slipped out of his pocket and he was looking for it under the table.
No one really payed his obvious lie any mind, except for George who looked like he was having a mental breakdown.
A slight blush had spread over his cheeks and he’d run his hands through his hair so many times in frustration it was starting to stick up in places.
He was scowling at you and Max and it hit the two of you at the same time.
George also had powers. George was a telepath, and had probably been privy to every single thought you and Max had had while in his presence

“Sorry George” you and Max both thought as hard as you could, hoping he could hear you.
He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes disapprovingly before clearing his throat, loud enough for everyone to hear what he was going to say.
You panicked, looking to Max for help, but he just looked at you helplessly.
“I think that in the spirit of cooperation and good-faith” George announced loudly “Max Emilian Verstappen, and his most esteemed rival, should pay the bill today”
He glared at you and you let out a breath.
Thank the lord for small victories.
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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#told my roommate ive been depressed this weekend and she kindly offered to watch a movie but i knew shed be too tired and need to cancel#bc of the clocks changing and its ok i know how tired she gets i was the one to suggest it was okay if she cant + it was still a nice idea#but now im alone for the evening again ive been alone all weekend and weekends are the hardest for me and i thought i was feeling a little#better but im not and theres nothing to stop me from harming which is okay i keep it safe and its always a choice i make to do it or not#not anyone elses responsibility but i didnt want.to be alone tonight thats all. and offering something she knows she cant fulfil makes me#feel rejected too and i also wanted to talk abt some of her behaviour that upsets me sometimes but gently bc i dont want it to seem like#im blaming her bc its not her fault im so bad at communicating and neurotic and weird abt shit that doesnt even make sense#but its been bothering me for a really long time and it comes up again every time we meet with other people and i get really upset over it#and im the one that keeps putting off talking about it but its so hard when its been gping on so long and i find it so hard to express#anything and communicate especiallt when its shit like this but im so so so so tired of sitting on it i just want it resolved one way or#another and now i wont see her for a few days bc of this family trip and itll be on my mind the whole time and the thought is making me#feel insane already ive wasted so many hours and hours being upset by her and not being able to talk abt it i need it to stop its not even#that big a deal.it just is to me. and i dont know how to say anythign ever#and she wants to make plans with friends next weekend which feels like hoisting an anvil above my head bc if i dont go i risk having a#rejection sensitive episode bc im vulnerable rn and this is exactly what happened over the summer and it took me months to recover from but#if i do go ill get upset bc ill feel unwanted there and ill be dealing with the same issue that comes up every fucking time and either way#ill end up harming in response to it bc i cant handle how intense my emotions are and i dont have any better outlets right now#for these specific feelings and i dont want to do that i want to be a normal fucking human being who doesnt lock themself in a#stupid fucking iron maiden style repression over completely innocuous shit that no one would even know im reacting this way to#i cant do it i cant do thjs anymore i cant i want it to stop im so tired and it hurts so so much feeling so much like this#they should make a mind for me that is capable of not inflicting distress this intense on itself i need to explode#actually. maybe since i wont see her for a couple days i can write a long discord message about it instead. i know its a shitty way to#deliver information but maybe it would be easier that way rather than trying to summon the courage to say anything in person when im#usually actively upset abt it at the time and my immediate response to getting upset is to shut down and not express which doesnt help#and its so stupid but i need it to not be like this i cant keep living with her and getting so upset so regularly it has to stop now#ill think about itand maybe draft it. and then i can decide. but right now i need to eat. and pack. and then cut sorry. but its ok#ughhhhfdhf. please let this week be better ill try harder ill say something i have to im the one inflicting this on myself by not talking#about it!!!!!!!!! so. man and i think my dinner is cold now too. oh well#.vent#tw self harm
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