#but like i get it and i know why they're the bad guys and why bronze are good and why nozdormu doesn't want to become moruzond

[transit-fag]

Hello. I recently visited your presumably fine city, and I have to say, I did not enjoy myself.

I am reminded of a quote from AA (non active): "Principles before personalities."

Seems everywhere I went I was harassed, discriminated against, belittled, kicked out, yes sexually harassed, etc, apparently based on the characteristics of my physical appearance, as I gave no indication of political creed, religious affiliation, life philosophy, personal history, or otherwise. Like come on guys, my fashion sense is not THAT bad.

For example, a barista I interacted with saw fit to yell "no" in my face as I was attempting to order. Like fine, if you feel the need to publicly and preemptively cock block me by loudly stating your negative sexual preference towards my person, and thereby impress friends and bystanders, while letting that fella or lady you truly are smitten with know just how loyal a girl you really can be... I can't stop you. I'm sure they're great. I'm just trying to get some coffee.

Ok ok ok, so now, you (the reader) share a knowing look with the apparently psychic iindividual who tells you what to think and how to act (they obviously know about these things), who then makes a simple gesture accusing me of pedophilia and boom. Game, set, and match. It's over. Why even continue reading?

Not that either you believe what you are saying, but who gives a fuck at this point right? It's just that the look on both your faces reminds me of a smug version of the look my dog gets when he is licking his own butt.

Funny story-up until recently, I worked with an actual convicted child rapist. The genuine article. And let me tell you, he was having a fucking field day with this shit. It's ok, get it all out buddy. That's fine right? He's a part of the movement, and everyone gets something. Well, almost everyone lol;) ;)

Yes sir, it's a real pander fest out there. At an intersection, there is an environmentalist guy and a guy with the unnecessarily large and noisy truck. Given our recent political decision making process, you would think they would be staring daggers, yelling, celebratory coal rolling, etc. No absolutely not. Dudes are falling all over themselves in a mad scramble of trans political endearment. It's so simple!! All we have to do is find the one guy in society who isn't a completely gullible dumbfuck and shit all over him and poof. All problems resolved. Transgressions forgiven. A new age.

I mean, it is somewhat interesting how each of you has an individually unique rationalization for the exact same , identical patterns of hateful and abusive behavior. The tree hugger and the coal roller. Beautiful snowflakes all.

Just kidding, it's actually really easy to just place you in a cliched typology and reverse engineer your justification for participating in fascism lite (tm) based on a presumable self conception. I don't really give a fuck what lies you tell yourself in the mirror. But as your Bob Dylan said, it ain't me babe.

Point being, having superceded the political, as well as all conventional rules of civilized conduct, and or general local culture in your fair city, The Movement (tm) (ha) or whatever the fuck you call it, is the dominant social reality and governing social principle.

AND YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT

Which is fine. You do you. But please cease to labor under the illusion that you still have any translatable values, of any kind, whatsoever. It's not that open harassment or discrimination or whatever, particularly when perpetrated by a group of people in a position of social power, is wrong, per se, right? I mean, it would be interesting to hear any of you attempt to justify yourselves, but unfortunately YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT. It is forbidden. I get it. Its like fight club. That's fair. White guys have made some pretty decent movies.

Let's say you dropped $100k on a liberal arts degree. Here's a chance to exercise some critical thinking in the face of a mass social movement founded on cruelty and open hatred, which is kind of the basic purpose of such a degree. Nope. Let's say it was history. What does this say about your chosen field of study? Hide all evidence right? Or sociology. Beyond your purview. Philosophy. When in Rome? Congratulations.

A lot I could say, but, regarding the preposterous idea that this is jall ust a some organic, spontaneously occurring culture phenomenon (rationalization received from a Christian): 1. Easily forensically disprovable, I'm not even particularly well studied and I know exactly who your master is, where they work, and why, and 2. Shockingly naive, given the power dynamics of the situation, sorry no way are your overlords leaving that kind of money on the table.

I don't really feel like elaborating further other than to say that because you are unable to speak or "go back and forth with me", whatever it is that you are participating in is, on its face, complete bullshit, as you, by both structural and philosophical necessity, lack individual moral and intellectual agency, which is, in fact, and in spite of what you may believe (ask your benevolent dictator), the root of all collective historical human failure. As well as the principle rationale for a liberal arts education. But fuck it right?

So, you spent 100k on education, only to turn around and will yourself into intellectual and moral slavery, and become the object of some corporate marketing psychologist's vanity project? May I wipe my ass with that diploma?

In closing, I don't want to go over the top here and start some kind of song of myself, oh no, but having been treated like human garbage, I feel compelled to state:

In terms of adverse personal experience, I soloed goddamn Annapurna in the snow season, lived to tell the tale, and this is the shit I come back to. You are all useful idiots and your behavior is an insult to the human condition.

Why me? Honestly, because out of everyone in at least the entire western United States apparently, you could literally put a gun to my head and I would not get on whatever bullshit from the literal church of corporate Satan you all are being spoon fed. Which I guess is some sort of crime.

On behalf of myself, humanity, Jesus, the Buddha, the better angels of our nature, all the great ones who came before, rock-'n'-roll, etc, Bellingham, YOUR SCENE SUCKS.

I will enjoy the cold comfort of inner freedom and a righteous cause while watching you abandon any semblance of a coherent value system and continue to lick fascist corporate ass for a bump of cocaine (which I don't think is very punk rock:( )

In solidarity, an actual, working, breathing, locally available, and highly DMable, high 7-ish, cultural dissident.

And, let the bad faith Cassandra treatment begin.

(Unless you are feeling spry big fella. Wanna earn some points???)

UPDATE: You guys, you guys wait!!! I thought of a really good one. The hand gesture thing-that is soooo Hitler

Update to Update: WOW so many responses. I am not able to give each one the time and attention it deserves, so here I will make a brief general reply before sharing something (indeed) very special with everyone.

Briefly perusing these responses, they seemed mostly attempts and bad faith gaslighting (as predicted) along with a sprinkling of salty literary criticism. I, at least, personally, found the gaslighting amusing, because I said you would do it, and you still did it anyway. Lol.

But really, everyone here, myself included, knows that besides "though shalt not speak," like the second rule in the playbook (which apparently descended from Shiva on a ray of light or some shit) is "Just keep doing it," so really this discussion is basically pointless, other than to point out that based on your actions, you are now complicit in an ongoing attempt to manufacture a historical falsehood about our society as it exists today, which, to me, is somewhat mind-blowing and honestly something of a privilege to witness firsthand. Now on to the important stuff.

Driving home today, listening to some predictably tinny, cacaphonous, and emotionally shallow corporate music, it occurred to me: When all this first I was actually pretty afraid. I remember first commenting on this pattern of organized behavior I got so scared I had like a four day flashback, you know the terrors, worries that someone was going come kidnap me and bury me alive somewhere because the shit I talked was so unprecedentedly nasty there was no way it could be allowed to stand, etc.(Which honestly is a pretty scary thought, because just based on the responses I received here it is clear that no one is gonna come looking). But you know, this went on, and the ol shoe never dropped.

I could only speculate that I must have been the subject of some kind of Job-like wager, to see whether I could walk the razors edge between hysteria, due to the gaslighting, on the one hand, and some form of violence, due to the anger at the abusive treatment, on the other. And it went on, and on, and on.

Today I realized that due to recent developments, and in small part because of this post, the terms of the wager have changed (which is good, because turns out, I can do this shit indefinitely, but where's the fun in that?). I am no longer the subject of this wager. No, I am now a party to it.

So, what or who (you may ask), is now then the new subject? What is the nature of this new wager?

The subject, my friends, is you. My fellow citizens. The unwashed (stereotype) masses. The people of Bellingham. The human race.

And what is in question? I guess on my side would be what is known as traditional humanism. Although I am no paragon and did not choose this, this tradition would generally focus on the value of things like honesty, courage, dignity, perseverance, kindness, love etc. which in my opinion are inescapable, and due to my own experiences with hardship, indispensable, and woe be to him who has not felt that light touch some corner of his immortal soul.

The counterargument (I suppose) could (for my purposes) be described as anti-humanist, at least in the traditional sense. I believe that this position holds that the idealization of these traditional virtues breeds discontent and indeed mass violence and war, as humans are inherently somewhat petty, cruel, violent, etc, Overly harmonious, idealized group identities simply displace(?) sublimate (?) (my bad) these tendencies outward, in the form of group based hatred and violence.

Relevant questions: Realistically, are humans capable of self government? Are ideals good? Is the project of the enlightenment practical or desirable?

I would argue that life is basically not worth living in the anti-humanist society, as well as point out that in the more moderate "European" view, this is why we have things like rock climbing or whatever other stupid shit you guys do. Traditional forms of collective action are still necessary, and you can't solve many problems "herding cats."

To some extent this is a matter of taste, but I guess the real question is whether your corporate overlords can succeed in birthing the anti-humanist society and ,indeed, become bigger than Jesus.

You guys aren't helping my case much, but regardless this is the fundamental reality of what is happening right here, right now, plain as day.

I'll end with a plea for collegiately, as I have presented the arguments collegially, mainly out of fear for my personal safety, although we both know, if one thing is true about people from my tradition, it's that we fucking LOVE to party.

The ball is obviously not in my court, as I am alone here in a literal sea of sycophantic assholes, with nothing to defend myself but my rapacious wit, endearing humor, and roguish good looks.

It is ironic though. Me, an actual pariah, and the girl who has it all, arguing across each other. Like, I cannot fucking BELIEVE I am defending you people.

[stanliestduo]

I saw that ask you got and i just wanted to say that it's so funny to me when people are like "why would you ship stancest ew" acting like they didn't sail off into the sunset together after DECADES of Stan openly pining for Ford. If they weren't written as siblings they would hands down be the most popular ship of the show

There's a long answer, and then there's the tldr at the bottom marked in red text. Long answer: If they weren't siblings, you literally wouldn't be able to escape this ship. It would have been THE ship of tumblr after the finale had aired, considered the "healthy" ship and the good ending, would be considered canon even if they didn't kiss, and it would be the standard by which all the other ships are judged. You would have people writing essays about how they literally took off on a ship, guys! It's so obvious and a metaphor for marriage and and- But here's where I can extend a bit of empathy that perhaps they wouldn't give me, as well as look at things from the perspective as someone who has seen shipping culture their entire lives. First off- most people don't want to fuck their siblings. I know, shocker. Most people who ship Stancest probably do not want to fuck their siblings, but people who don't CERTAINLY do not want to. It's the most repulsive thought in the world to them. There is such thing as being in such a close platonic relationship that it's an impossible thought. I think a lot of people who want Stancest shippers to die or whatever find that kind of desire utterly repulsive, that and let's be real, 1nc3st in real life is rife with abuse. It isn't a healthy thought to get those wires crossed. People who do not like this ship are empathizing with either of the brothers and projecting their own repulsion onto them. But here's the other bit. I'm not shipping Stan and Ford because they're siblings. Most of my ships are not 1nc3stuous. I don't find that element hot or cute, and while I'm not here to harsh anyone's vibe, if that's the only reason you ship Stancest I really don't want to talk with you about these characters. People see ships as inherently sexual, as inherently sexualizing, as "you must only ship this because you want to see the characters fuck". And mind you, with Stancest I don't see it as a bad thing at all to draw them doing things or being attractive together, etc etc. Not at all, and I'd be a hypocrite for saying otherwise. My point is, that's where people's minds go, that's the assumption that they make. They find 1nc3st repulsive, and clearly the ONLY reason I would ship it is because I like sexualizing that and only that aspect about it. Basically, they assume I must LOVE 1nc3st in and of itself, because otherwise why would I ship brothers? Now here's where I go back to the first statement, because most people I've seen don't just ship them for that reason.

You ever seen that meme about "if they have chemistry, I can't make them NOT have chemistry"? That's why I'm here. EVERYTHING about how Stan and Ford are written is tailor made to be SHIPPED. Aside from literally bounding away on a ship, they have a closeness and codependency that most brothers in fiction do not. Alex himself has said they need each other, Ford in the third journal said he was going to spend the rest of his days making up to Stanley. Stanley has spent his entire life wanting NOTHING but his family, his brother by his side. He seems more bonded to his brother than to any one he's ever tried to date, and Ford likewise. I'm sorry, but these two are not getting a "healthy" ending. They aren't going to be with anyone else. There's no version of them in which they find separate partners after having a little adventure around the world for a year or two then just go off in separate ways. This is the most "childhood friends to lovers" story I've ever seen. These two are NOT healthy to begin with, why would anyone expect them to start when they're that old and that hurt by everything in their pasts? I don't believe it inherently has to be sexually 1nc3stuous, but it could be. Wires are already being crossed. It's rare for anyone to be loyal for 30 years to one person when they aren't in love, and Stan wanted to get his brother back so badly that he forgot his own goals and even threw away his own identity to get him back. His entire life was for Ford, and after Journal 3, it should be obvious that Ford's entire life is for Stan now, too. What I'm trying to say is, while this ship isn't the healthy ending, it is the BEST ending for either of them. I think people who wanted Stan to be able to deny going with Ford don't understand him or his character, or what his character NEEDS, same as Ford. And I think people who try to separate the bros for shipping purposes or who don't want to do 1nc3st or accidental emotional 1nc3st are not fully reading the same things, watching the same things that we are. If they weren't brothers, everyone else would see exactly what we're seeing. They would see this as the love story it is. TLDR: I understand why people won't ship this ship, and I try to be empathetic, but these two have been given the kind of story that would ping the lovers radar to anyone if they weren't brothers and I'm not going to ignore that just because they are.

[solidaritygaming-fanblog]

(using u as my own personal soundboard rubber duck method yada yada ya if anyone wants this u can have it)

SO villain/vigilante jimmy au

like no one suspects him. why would they? it's jimmy. sweet jimmy, harmless jimmy, can barely keep himself alive jimmy. jimmy the normal guy, the civilian in this au (which I have now decided is a modern day superhero au ig)

Jimmy? a (kind of) villain? dude cries over babies and kittens and despite being afraid if spiders always asks that they get taken outside rather than killed. the man is so oblivious. he isn't even. aware that basically all of his friends are involved in the superhero life (hero, antihero, vigilante, villain or otherwise) obviously he must be protected. everyone on all sides agrees that Jim's little shop (birdie bakes? codfathers chippy? big man flowers idk dude I'm bad at names u choose) is a neutral zone. everyone has to play nice. can't break poor timmys heart after all

but canary? the harbinger if chaos? oh he's bad. the domino that sets everything in motion leaving destruction in his wake. it's not so bad, most of the time. sure there's a lot of injuries and trauma but rarely any death. except when there is. except when ur reminded that canary isn't just a prankster who likes causing property damage but someone who has a body count. someone who is truly terrifying when he wants to be. someone who's casual, friendly disarming demeanor should not EVER be mistaken for harmless.

his identity is anyone's guess really, no other villain has seen what he looks like or gotten even a hint if a name. most are too afraid to ask and the ones that aren't (or so they insist) haven't asked either. not because they're afraid of having the canary on their bad side of course they just not interested. totally that and nothing else

(they're terrified. after all, he's an unknown that everyone knows isn't all that stable. a ticking time bomb. a canary in the coalmine, that has everyone afraid they'll miss his silence until death catches up with them. no one knows anything, and it is only human nature to be afraid of the unknown)

somehow, canary is able to thwart almost any plan aimed at him. this makes him all the more terrifying. after all, the man seems to know their every move. is he a traitor? does he have access to their plans their bases, their identies? even the villains are unnerved. after all, they haven't exactly escaped unscathed either. sometimes, canary is gunning for them explicitly and many a villain has lost a base or two to the man

(the small listening devices planted in bags, within gifted potted plants, wherever, are too small to be discovered unless one is looking very, very carefully. but why would they? it's just a gift from jimmy. lovely, sweet, harmless jimmy).

and the heroes about to plan a big bust of canary's base? well they've come down with a little bit of food poisoning or smth. nothing too harsh, just enough for them to be taken out of the field. just enough time for canary to catch wind and pack up and move before anyone can prevent it. big villainous plan going up in literal flames that not only steals Ur thunder but leaves u on bed rest bc of the burns? at least jimmy gives out free stuff and a hug when ur down

(and Jimmy loves his friends, cares for them a lot. but he is a survivor and will do anything to make sure he never has to feel powerless, to feel like he is less than anyone or anything. he loves his friends but he knows they see him as less, as an outsider, as weak. as a thing that needs to be protected, rather than protected against. so the addicting rush of adrenaline from pulling of a heist, destroying a whole street, from leaving a trail of blood in his wake whenever he's feeling particularly villainous is made so much sweeter when it's done right under their noses

it's a wonderful feeling, testing the limits of your power when no one, not even you, knows where they lie - especially when they're terrified to find out how far you're willing to go)

rubber duck method! I can't wait to see this

Yes. 100 hundred percent yes.

Its just Jimmy! He would never hurt them :)

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image IDs: Image #1: Tumblr post from st4lker reading: i'm literally so sick of fly people saying ants are "bitchy" and that they cant feel love. just because ants like to be more independent and arent constantly begging to be taken for walks doesn't make them bitchy or hateful. when i was having a really bad depressive episode my ant came up to me and started purring in my lap to make me feel better... ants can feel love the same as an fly can. the whole "i hate ants ant people are crazy" shtick is getting old.

Image #2: Tumblr post from niedopalek reading: my pet ant needs life-saving surgery

Image #3: Tumblr post from disabledBimbo reading: Always ants this ants that on this site

Image #4: Tumblr post from grox reading; Ants are very small to me. They might be dog-sized to you, but they're under an inch small to me

Image #5: Tumblr post from puppyMush reading: I dont know why i have to say this, i thought it was common knowledge but i guess not.

Do Not trim you're ant's antennae. I dont care if it looks "cuter" (i doesnt!) You are literally harming your ant. Once you trim or clip off it's antennae it is unable to track pheromones, it's basically blind at this point.

I dont wanna see Anyone posting pics if ants with their antennae trimmed i will Block you

Reblog from puppyMush with Tumblr tags reading: #..... anyways (face with rolling eyes emoji) #hes domestic hes not tracking any pheromones (tears of joy emoji) #i stg tumblr users will read one article about ant care and act like an entemologist. (end tags)

I have an ant ranch.....

Image #6: Tumblr post from princessBento reading: have yall heard theyre doing a feature on ants in the next national geographic? the ants like to pounce on and play with one another but the photographer cant get too close of course

Image #7: Tumblr post from phantomLimb2007 reading: Riding across the prairie in my covered wagon pulled by two ants

Image #8: Tumblr post from pseudoMantis reading: our village has been terrorized by a colony of ants for months now

Image #9: Tumblr post from heyCrabMan reading: got chased for 4 blocks by a pack of ants the other day

Image #10: Tumblr post from yourdadsellsavon reading: so do you guys let your pet ants sleep in your bed? /End IDs]

ant compliation

[masque-de-nightingale]

I'm sure other people have talked this topic to death, but here's my 2 cents on why I like sebaciel despite having no other interest in shota/loli stuff.

Sebastian isn't human and all humans seem like babies to him anyways bc of his age - it's not like he's targeting someone specifically young, bc everyone is young to him. But this still doesn't frame him having a relationship with a child in a good light, since he's literally a demon. We don't have to pretend that 'children having relationships with adults is cool and ok in some contexts actually' bc again, we already know that he's a literal demon. He's already a bad guy lol.

Also, Sebastian doesn't have much (if any) interest in sex. The one time he has sex in the manga is to get information and he otherwise stays perfectly unflustered with people's attempts to seduce him (sorry Grell). This means that if he's attracted to Ciel it's not just because of his body - it's because he's obsessed with Ciel's soul and personality, and his body is just one part of what makes him interesting.

Ciel has complete control bc of the contract. If he wanted to at any point he could tell Sebastian not to do something and he would be forced to listen.

Ciel isn't naive or unaware of adult relationships. He is still a child, but is very smart and (unfortunately) has intimate knowledge of sexual acts. But this also means there's a much higher chance that he'd be able to recognize and put a stop to any attempts at grooming/hidden manipulation attempts from anyone.

Also, importantly: it's fiction. They're drawings. And even in the anime Ciel is voiced by grown women, not children. Ciel's age is therefore something that adds to his character and relationships and can be explored without actually putting any children into these situations.

So: if Sebastian was human or only interested in sex, or if Ciel didn't have the contract that made Sebastian obey him and he couldn't recognize sexual/intimate acts, I'd be grossed out. Same as if it wasn't just fiction. But as it stands I think the circumstances of their characters and relationship makes their age difference an interesting dynamic without necessarily making it horribly unequal. Age has an impact without just making Ciel be taken advantage of or having this kind of relationship portrayed as normal.

[cars2-renaissance]

Oh shit you guys I woke up this morning with another headcanon. Ughhhhhhhh this one really fucked me up. I’m gonna post it under a cut cause theres discussion about death and su*cidal ideation and it’s just super depressing. So please don’t read if you’re not in a good headspace.

I think this is the worst one yet. It's just pain.

So I always noticed that Finn is really quiet in Big Ben when they're tied up. Mater is talking back to the lemons and engaging with them but Finn is COMPLETELY silent.

Now maybe it's cause he's an experienced agent and knows not to open his big mouth. But when has Finn ever not been on the spot with these jokers? Why is he so quiet and resigned here?

He's resigned! He doesn't even try to escape. He's glad that Mater makes it out (maybe??) but after that, he's just like oh well guess I'll die?

Finn is incredibly crafty with cheating death. I mean just look at the oil rig scene. Even after the extreme shock of seeing Leland dead, he's still able to make split second decisions to save himself and make it out. And that was when it was just his life on the line! He doesn't even seem to care about Holley's life at all in this scene! And this is the same car who seemed genuinely gutted by seeing the wgp racers getting their engines blown in the second race, these random strangers he doesn't know. You can't tell me he doesn't care about others!

So what the FUCK did they do to him to break him that much??

Well. They had him prisoner and while they kept Mater gassed the whole time in between races, we don't know what happened to Finn or Holley. We don't know that they were unconscious the entire time. But we do know certain among the lemons are complete sadists. I've wondered for a while if they filmed what they did to Leland. Zündapp wasn't there for it and he seemed to take personal satisfaction in the aftermath. It's completely plausible that Grem recorded the whole thing even to just show the professor later.

But you know who they would take particular delight in showing a snuff tape of Leland Turbo to?

Finn.

And that would be enough to keep him quiet in Big Ben, to want nothing more than to die there, crushed to death just like Leland, because he deserved it after not getting there in time to save him. He wanted to die there so bad that even Holley's life didn't matter. And when he did get out of that situation (thanks to Holley), the only thing on his mind was going after Zündapp.

They just found out there is an actual bomb attached to Mater and he's heading for a highly populated civilian area IN LONDON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD; this is likely Finn's home town. You'd think he'd stop at nothing to go take care of that situation and not leave it to the total newbie.

But no. He is out for BLOOD against Zündapp. Holley can save London—who CARES about London or any of these cars he's gotten close to over the past two weeks—Zündapp is on the loose and Finn is not going to let that slide. He puts himself in deaths door yet again to catch this motherfucker. He barely flinches while getting heavy artillery shot at him. And his grand solution at the end is to blow them all the fuck up.

The size of that explosion SHOULD have killed them all. Finn was more than willing to kill himself if it meant Zündapp died with him, plus Tony Trihull who at this point he probably knows is the location of Leland's death. They can all just get blown to hell.

But he and Zündapp survive somehow—I don't think the same can be said for Trihull—and we see them later, finally pulling up to the races. We also see that Zündapp is completely tangled in Finn's grapple lines in ways that could only be possible if he was flipped around multiple times in all directions. Finn got him to the bomb site but not before beating the ever loving shit out of him. He is FURIOUS and doesn't bat an eye when Holley tases a car in full custody. Because it's Zündapp, and Finn only just stopped short of killing him.

Finn is a hot mess throughout the movie. He takes unbelievable risks and pulls ridiculous stunts. BUT he always has it pretty under control and above all, he shows genuine care for those around him. But there is a definite shift in his values and goals after Big Ben. There's a real possibility that it's because he had to watch Leland die in that window of time.

I hate this headcanon so much but I had to write it out this morning

This was all just off the top of my head a few minutes after waking up, haunted by this headcanon, so I’ll go back and rewatch the scene to see if anything sticks out to me. I’ve combed over the opening of the movie so many times to analyse it but I want to go over the Big Ben scene again to comb over it too cause it’s got a lot packed into it.

But yeah. Happy Valentine’s Day y’all!

[slaaverin]

You know if the fandom at large truly saw Jikook as just Bros, we wouldn’t have half the issue we do have. They know there is something there and it’s what scares them.

I Like to be on this side of things where we sensible folk see two souls who love each other.

I Like to think that the love we share here, heals the world a tiny bit at a time.

I’m in my late 30s now, some may say too old to be a fan girl, or fawning of two guys especially in their late 20s, but do you know I see what I see, and I love their artistry.

I also never thought I’d get to my late 30s so fast, time really does fly by. Word of warning to all. But one thing I’ve learnt is that love is all that matters.

I hope with all my being that Jikook know there are people out there in the world who love them, and support them. I hope Jimin especially knows how much he is truly loved, and that he can and should be himself. Jungkook too, though i do feel he is better at that than Jimin. The show was a positive step in the right direction with how ‘free’ they were. As I said, life is truly too short not to be yourself, to be happy and to love.

"As I said, life is truly too short not to be yourself, to be happy and to love."

I couldn't agree more anon, and I think we saw in jikook many times that this has been an underlying wish of theirs. And I think it will be even more in the future.

There's nothing wrong with being a fan girl at 30. I know people who are 70 that are still fangirling and engaging in fandom. I mean, it's not because we're older that we need to be BORING 😂 I think people of any age can recognize true artistery, passion, and the beauty of people with pure hearts, sharing pure love. It's universal.

I personally don't mind being an ARMY until 70, and still reading silly fanfictions when I'm old 😂 who cares for real. As long as we're having fun, that's all that matters. (As Jimin would say lol)

You're right, life is flying by. And never again will we be us, in this particular life, at this particular time. Moments are fleeting and unique and will never be quite the same again.

That's why life should be enjoyed to the fullest, and appreciated.

That's also why I am so grateful to be sharing this piece of the BTS history with everyone, now, just as it is. What a journey it has been, and what a journey it's gonna be.

And I think it's important we experience it all, the bad, the good (mostly the good) and give as much positive energy as we can.

We're witnessing jikook in real time, and we're gonna see many new things from them. Hopefully they'll get to live an even more happy life, and make adjustements to be themselves to the fullest. How exciting. And we're gonna see it? They're never again going to be jikook going through this. Jikook will never again be jikook.

So whatever we witness, however we give our support, it matters. It's the only time where it matters, because in the next moment everything will be gone, and this theater we are all playing will disappear, and we'll remember it was only a dream, a pretty vivid one.

So the only thing that matters is the present experience, and our feelings and thoughts, how these two people can make us joyous, happy, full of love and appreciation. How we as a community are intermingled, the feelings, words, small actions we share.

We love a relationship that is not ours. Yes, many people have love in their life, but it's always going to be different from them. No two relationship are the same.

And even if it's not ours, we still get to experience things through them, it's part of our vision, it takes space in our thoughts and feelings.

I think, as people who think things through, jikook are aware of it.

Even if our support seems small and insignificant, the fact they simply know that we do, it must surely help them, at least to feel a tiny bit of relief.

And even if they never stumble on any of our words, our thoughts and action (writing, speaking), it's like magic we do. Magic is words (breath, physical movement) and intention. We all are magicians. And even with these small things, it affects them, even if lightly, in the great scheme of things.

So that's already something I guess?

And even if it doesn't matter to them, well it does to us.

If we were in their situation, we would like people like us supporting, just because. Because it feels good? Yeah.

So I think it's normal.

Personally, the other parts of the fandom are just noise to me.

I know what my heart tells me to do. I don't care about anything else.

It's about love, right? The rest has no importance.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts anon 💜sorry for my rambling, and the time I took to respond, I was losing my mind writing my fic lol

Hope you'll continue to be a fangirl as long as your heart tells you to.

sending love 💜

[that-girl-glader]

Eish man. This is why I don't obsess over celebrities. I watch something and I'm done I'm not being cultily attached to this DEFINITELY horrible people. Trust me celebrities aren't your friends. They're a lot of times privileged, nepo babies, people who did immoral horrendous stuff to get where thwy are. Or their just soo...bad like. And they know they can get away with being horrible. An example would be all the defenders CRAZED AND AWFUL defenders might I add. Of melanie marrinez. Like it was so bad. Like I just gave up being part of that fandom because of how much they sucked and how people allow mainstream super loved people to get away with this things.

Like the fact alone that someone came up and says ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO SUPPORT THEM. Doesn't matter that the person being blamed is fricking famous...(the melanie stuff hurt me the most. Because, no matter what unless people try to find solid proof. You never know if a celebrity is secretly a horrible person. Just...just don't meer your heroes guys.) I drop any celebrity with allegations because I DON'T KNOW THEM. DON'T DEFEND A CELEBRITY YOU DON'T PERSONALLY KNOW. ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS. I dropped Melanie, I'll drop TBS, and I might drop dylan for like reasons I don't need to explain.

It’s uncanny how similar Trump is acting like Hitler. People are now doing the Nazi salute. They’re drawing the symbol. The KKK was seen in Kentucky asking people to join them. ICE has been ripping families apart. Companies have pulled back Diversity Initiatives. We’re no longer part of WHO and there won’t be any communication from the CDC at least until February 1st. We’re being censored and the news can’t be trusted. Thousands of Americans didn’t know there were protests against Trump yesterday outside the U.S. Quotes from The Handmaid’s Tale and Anne Frank have been compared to what’s going on right now.

According to The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Studies and Prevention the U.S. has officially been given a red flag alert for Genocide.

I’m exhausted but I will never stop being angry.

[worldfianna]

Severance Theory

(Anotha one thank yew)

Buckle down and be patient with me because this is going to be the biggest reach of a theory anyone can possibly have mustered up, luckily it's not as stupid as miss huang being mark and gemma's daughter, but it still has some considerable holes. BE NICE, be patient, and feel free to argue otherwise AMICABLY. okay enjoy guys because i seriously started doubting myself when i got to the end of writing this. I was like "wow I'm actually crazy" but this show is crazier so.

Okay so maybe this is so so obvious, but i need to get it out there in case nobody else kind of thought about this either. So i finally convinced one of my friends to watch severance, so she came round mine and we got up to episode 3, and we got to petey. Now, petey has reintegration sickness right? So bad that it essentially kills him, but he also just disappears from work, he can't have resigned because otherwise he would've gone through the whole "goodbye" process of it, he didn't get fired, and cobel says he's still missing and they're actively searching for him, she believes he's been reintegrated and the board is like "oh no no no girl". I'm outlining all the holes in this theory before anyone else can. But I'm wondering if perhaps on the off-chance that the procedure COULD'VE gone wrong and that workers still have some memories from their job, they built in some kind of mechanism in the severance device that causes pain and eventual death? Petey is under the impression that people are after him, and i could be wrong but i don't remember Asal mentioning any post reintegration pain (forgive me if she did and disregard this entire theory) I'm thinking maybe petey began showing visual signs of reintegration, so much so that they activated the pain mechanism, to prevent any information about Lumon being brought to the outside. It's definitely clear that the severance procedure wasn't invented just so that your life is your free-time and you never have to worry about work again, they clearly want whatever is happening at Lumon to remain a secret, but need to disguise it as something else. Any information that gets out could be detrimental to their end goal so they need to eradicate any possibility that this could happen. I think they knew that Petey knew something - i mean, he doesn't show up one time and they say he's not with the company anymore instead of assuming he was like bed ridden or in hospital and wasn't able to call in sick. That's assuming this takes place on a monday, why would they contact him on the weekend? So that means the last time anyone will have seen him was friday. They must know that he knows. And i think the board knows that he knows something, but they have it under control because of the possible pain feature. When it get's really bad he can't tell what's real and what's not, making him appear crazy, giving lumon some plausible deniability. I feel like I've worded this theory terribily

In a nutshell.

Outside:

Lumon made severance device chip thing > device chip has pain inducing feature > pain inducing feature can cause death > pain inducing feature causes petey's death

Inside:

"Petey's not with company anymore" > bro missed 10 minutes of work > not fired? > not resigned? > they're looking for petey > why? > why look for petey if you think he's not a threat > threat to lumon > lumon knows petey's onto something > lumon knows reintegration is possible but lie about it > shows that authoritative figures like cobel don't actually know the full plan of what lumon is trying to accomplish > everyone is freaked > the eagans are cray

Does that make sense??

Also why would cobel theorise he was reintegrated if he missed one day of work. HE HAD TO BE SHOWING SIGNS.

I do genuinely believe irving reintegrated as well and that the paint/ black goop situation was similar to when mark saw helena as gemma in the tent in season 2. But I've written enough.

[sukunastoy]

Only Love Can Hurt Like This, Chapter 1, Part 2 (CEO! Sukuna x Fem! Reader, MDNI)

Continuation of Part 1 of Chapter 1 Here

⬇️PLEASE READ BEFORE STARTING THE STORY! ⬇️

Modern age AU, no curses. Sukuna still has his tattoos, but his face ones are carefully hidden. This story is set in Japan, and I've done my best to implement real life into it. For example, tattoos in Japan are still taboo, and people associate them with the yakuza, so its not normal to see everyday people have them. Though I know I won't have all the details of modern day life in Japan correct, I hope you still enjoy.

Pairings: CEO Sukuna x Fem Reader Content/Trigger warnings: In full on the Prologue chapter Wordcount: 4.1k+

This chapter is a backstory of how Toji and Reader met. Since Toji is not necessarily a main character in this story, I don't want to focus on a lot of detail for this backstory. But it needs to be told.

Toji and Reader are in high school, Toji is a senior, and reader is a freshman. Though I don't specifically put anything into detail, since everyone is a minor, you get the basic idea. Toji is not a good guy.

Since this is part of a backstory, Sukuna isn't mentioned or appears in this chapter at all.

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

"And one more picture of that pretty, ruined pussy. You'll probably make me a decent amount of money." Toji smirked while snapping the seventh or eighth photo on his phone. -"Hey, check this one out. Ruined her spoiled little virgin cunt."- -"Damn, you sure know how to pick the best ones."- -"Doesn't take much. Make them feel special and they'll drop that guard of theirs."- -"Well, drugging them also helps." -"I thought she was gonna just let me, but she wanted to wait for the right moment I guess."- -"It's so lame. I dunno why bitches need sex to be anything more than just sex."- -"Oh well. She's just a dumb, used whore now. When she finally lets me fuck her, I'll let her pretend its her first time."- -"Do your thing man, and let me know the next time you get her drugged up, I want a piece of that. Its so much easier when they're unconscious and not crying or squirming."- -"Just drop that money into my hand and you can fuck her whenever."-

Saturday, 4:37 AM

Everything ached. And your head was absolutely throbbing. A dazed whimper fell from your lips as you struggled to open your eyes. Your eye lids were almost unbearably heavy, as if they were being held shut. Sitting up, you weakly reached an arm to your head, trying to rub your eyes so you could wake up. Everything hurt so incredibly bad, like, bad... A bit of dread filled your mind as you looked around your bedroom. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, yet everything felt off. Your phone was nearby, and you grabbed it, looking at the time. Only 4:37 in the morning. You went to your messages, texting Toji to see what time he ended up leaving, and if he noticed you acting weird before he left. -"Hey! I just randomly woke up, but I have like a massive headache and everything is really sore. What happened after I got home last night?"-

You waited a moment, hoping for a reply but none came for a long while. By the time you did get anything back, you had slowly spiraled into a panic. Of course the worst consumed your mind, only imagining horrible outcomes of what might have happened the night before. Surely, Toji wouldn't have done anything bad to you, right?

-"Hey princess. Gave you some tea and you were relaxing on the couch. But, you seemed to be a bit buzzed still, you started passin' out on your couch so I put ya to bed and left."

He put you in bed? Well, it did seem quite nice of him. You rarely drank, so it's no wonder you felt like crap. It was certain parts of your body being sore that was a concern to you however. -"We didn't like, do anything, right? I know you kissed me in the car, but you didn't do anything else, did you?"- You nibbled your lower lip in worry while seeing the three little dots of Toji's reply appearing and disappearing before anything was said.

-"Of course not. Why would I do something like that? You were basically passed out, what are you implying?"-

The back of your throat burned as anxiety bubbled up in your chest. Oh shit, you basically just accused him of doing something to you!

-"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right, I'm certainly not accusing you of anything! I wasn't trying to make it sound that way."- You gripped your phone with sweaty palms as the three little dots popped up again, but then disappeared. Leaving you on read.

-"I'm really sorry, I'm just feeling weird and not thinking right."- No reply, and it wasn't even shown as read, only delivered. Several minutes passed and you stared desperately at your phone, awaiting a reply to ease your conscious, but none ever came.

And nothing ever came for the rest of the day either. Though you walked around with a small limp from a pain in your hip, all you could think of was how Toji must have felt for you basically accusing him of doing something to you. He had been nothing but nice and charming the entire night, and then you insult him with that accusation? Stupid.

Monday, 7:37 AM

Monday only brought more worry as you still hadn't heard from him. You were probably going to see him here at school soon and after not hearing back from him just sent tremors through you. How fucking awkward it will be. You waited for him near the lunch room, hoping things wouldn't be tense. What if he completely ignored you? When someone flicked your ear from behind, you quickly whipped around, only to see Toji standing over you, a charmed grin on his face. "Hey there. Ready to eat?"

A little smile crept across your face at his good attitude, but it was still a little nervewracking. "Hey, yeah, but, why didn't you ever text me back?" you wondered, pulling your bottom lip as you looked up to him hopefully. "Oh, I fell asleep and then just forgot." he shrugged it off, that smile never leaving his face as if there wasn't a single problem. You studied him, trying to decipher what he was really feeling, but his expression never faltered. You probably were just overreacting and then panicking, everything seemed fine.

When he invited you out to another party for the next friday, you immediately accepted, wanting another chance to be around him the way you were before. It was mostly the same as before, the only difference being some new faces, but you were still one of the very few freshmen to be among the crowd. You did your best to not drink as much, not wanting to wake up the same way you did last weekend. Dropping you off back at home, you looked over to Toji a little expectantly, licking your upper lip as sublty as possible in anticipation. You wanted him to kiss you like that again, to pull you into his lap and kiss you as if he was craving you. However, he got out of the car, and walked over to your doorside, opening it for you. "Hope you had another good time." He simply said, ushering you out of the seat. You didn't press it, not wanting to seem desperate or confused. This almost became a normal thing, every friday night. There'd be some party, you'd get to go, but Toji didn't try to kiss you anymore. He didn't act any different towards you, but he wouldn't touch you. Had you honestly hurt his feelings that bad where he was afraid to touch you now?

Friday, 11:47 PM

By the fourth friday of him not touching you in any way at all, you took matters into your own hands. As soon as he put the car in park, you climbed over into his lap, gripping onto his shirt desperately as you pressed your lips against his. You whimpered in delight when you felt his large hands settle at your waist, fingertips pushing into your skin. Instead of him returning your kiss in earnest though, he pushed you back, looking at you in an almost confused way. "What's gotten into you all the sudden?"

Your cheeks flared with embarassment, and you weren't even sure how to react right now. "I...I'm sorry, I..." He sighed heavily while turning his head and opening the car door. "Look, I like you but you basically accused me of doing something to you. Thats pretty shitty. You know how much trouble I could get into for some shit like that? You drank too much, and I put you to bed." "I truly didn't mean it like that." You pleaded as he placed you out of the car before getting out. Your short frame stared up to him nervously as he stood up and ran a hand over his face, sighing out in the process. "Please, Toji, I was still mostly asleep when I messaged you, so I wasn't thinking properly." You basically begged, reaching out and holding his hand with both of yours. You did really like this guy, and ruining it already was torturous. He seemed to ponder in his mind, his expression changing slightly as if trying to decide how to proceed from here. "You really want me to kiss you again?"

You nodded quickly, your eyes searching between his as he looked down to you. "Your parents home?" "No, they're out of town again for a couple weeks." "If I come inside again, you're not gonna panic if you wake up tomorrow with some headache, right?" "No, no of course not."

Even if you did wake up feeling like shit again, you certainly weren't going to say anything to him. The last few times you woke up from attending the parties, you hadn't been sore or felt weird. You also had made sure to drink way less than you initially did on the first party night. It was probably just too much alcohol.

Toji brought you another cup of hot tea, you and you fondly watched him sit down next to you on the couch. The butterflies in your stomach were strong as he placed an arm along the back of the couch behind your head, and you couldn't help but scoot a little closer to him, wnting to be against him if possible. Seeing your actions, he smirked and gestured you closer, now wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you close. 

"Thank you." you softly said, resting your head onto him.  "For what?" "Staying with me. I've just been a little lonely lately, and I don't want to lose you either." He smirked while holding you closer to him. "Trust me, I don't plan on leaving your side anytime soon at all."

"Just relax. It might hurt just cause you've never done anything before, but thats normal. The more we do it, the less it will hurt and better it will feel. I promise."

As Toji crawled over you in your bed, your heart beat against the inside of your chest. You weren't sure if you really wanted this right now, but what were you supposed to do otherwise? If you turned him down, he might lose interest. And with the recent move, losing your friends and your parents never being home, the last thing you wanted was to be alone. Toji had been nothing but nice to you since your first day in the new school. Putting out for him shouldn't be that big of a deal. It's just sex, teenagers do it all the time. But why did it feel so, scary?

After he had started making out with you on the couch, you felt this aching desire in your core that you couldn't explain. When Toji's hand came in between your legs and felt the warm, damp fabric, he said it was time for you two to just break the ice, cause you clearly wanted him in this way.

You stared up at the ceiling in the dark, your eyes trying to focus on anything. Quietly wiping some of the tears from your cheeks, you wondered, was it supposed to hurt? Was it supposed to make you feel, used? You imagined it was supposed to be a little more, romantic. Well, he did say he was bigger than average, and you heard that the first time is kinda painful cause it's new, so, maybe that's all it was. Looking over to Toji, you studied his sleeping form, still embarrassed that the two of you were naked and up against each other. He did have an arm wrapped around your waist, and his fingers held softly into your skin. The smell of sex was still in the air, and it wasn't pleasent as you had always imagined it. You've snuck some romance novels into your collection of books over the past year, curiosity of intimacy pulling you in, cause you wanted to know what it was like to be in a real relationship To be mature and have fun, casual sex like a normal teenager. 

Fucking hormones.

The way the words described how someone's first time might be seemed to be an overdramatic lie now. Maybe it was your own fault for imagining it to play out like some fairytale. You were kind of excited for that big high that seemed to elevate women from this plane of existence, but, it never happened. Toji certainly got his, there was clear evidence of that, a mess he obviously didn't care to clean up from you. Wait, you weren't that ignorant to how babies were made. Oh, fuck. You quickly sat up, breath nearly escaping you as you started to panic. You had already been on your period for a year or so, and obviously that meant you could get pregnant. Pregnant, at 14? What a fucking disgrace you'd be to your parents! You already just started having sex with this guy you recently met. What was wrong with you!? "Oh god, oh god!" You cried out, clutching your hand over your chest as you feared what might be happening inside your body this moment. Toji groaned and looked up at you with an aggravated yet concerned look. "What? What's wrong?" "I-I could be pregnant!" You whined, whole body shaking with that terrible idea. You were too young to have a kid. You'd have to drop out of school, have to figure out how to be a mom, you're be such a degenerate to your family. The humiliation!

"Oh, shit, I meant to give you something for later anyway." He said with little worry, like this wasn't some big deal. He rolled over and sat up from the bed, grabbing his pants from where he tossed them over your desk chair. "Here. Just take this." He offered, handing a small pill to you. "A, drug?" You stammered, looking at it in confusion. "It's a morning after pill. Keeps you from getting pregnant." He gestured with it, and you took it carefully, trying to understand how a pill could stop such a thing. "Why is it called a morning after pill?" "Uh, cause ya' usually take it in the morning after fucking through the night." Your cheeks flashed but you stuffed the pill in your mouth, enough saliva building from your panic that you could just swallow it as is. "And just like that, no problems." He chuckled while  setting his pants back down and messing with something near your desk. He finally got back into bed, his larger form crawling over yours, making you cower down into the blankets as he planted kisses on your neck and chest. "Let's get as much use out of that pill as possible." You tried to smile in want as his hand came up between your legs, preparing you to take him again. You wanted to feel mature and interested in all this, but in reality, it felt off putting. Probably just cause it was new and you weren't used to it. Everyone who ever talked about having sex seemed to not be able to get enough of it. Like it was as needed as eating and drinking was. You just had to get used to it. More practice. So, you certainly weren't going to turn Toji down. At some point you knew you'd have to start loving it as much as everyone else, and how the women in your hidden romance novels loved it. Though you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as pain rattled your lower half. Patience, you just needed patience. Surely, Toji wasn't hurting you on purpose. But you didn't want to make him feel bad and tell him to stop when he was clearly enjoying himself and saying how fucking good you felt. But... It hurt. It fucking hurt so bad. A deep ache in your guts that just seemed to intensify with every passing second. Every pained whimper that escaped your lips was immediately matched with Toji's low groans and deep moans of pleasure. Yet, he'd also plant gentle kisses to your teary cheeks, praising your intimate areas for making him feel so good. It made your heart flutter, but you couldn't stop from digging your nails into his back, silently begging him to hurry up and be done because you felt like you were going to break. He lifted your legs up to his waist, encouraging you to wrap them around his body so he could go even deeper but you internally sobbed at the thought. Of course, you noticed how much more he seemed to enjoy it when he could basically get as much of you as he wanted. You suffered through it for that reason, and that reason only. You liked knowing he was happy, liked knowing you could make him happy. You had his attention and you were doing something that he praised you for.

Unfortunately, you weren't aware of just how many other guys attentions you had in this moment. It might have just been you and Toji alone in the room, but the little camera he had placed on your desk broadcasted this moment to whoever was in his circle. They sent texts to Toji, offering their small wads of cash for a night with you, his new little toy. Some even in groups of two or more, the ones that liked to take turns on a girl's unconscious body. He'd get to them later, deciding who would pay the best, and you'd be none the wiser.

"Good morning, beautiful." Tojis deep voice pulled you from your exhaustion, and your dazed features made him chuckle. "Sleep well?" Your vision focused on him, and you offered a weakened smile. Honestly, no. It feels like your insides were punched for hours, leaving you battered and bruised in a place you couldn't comfort.

But as he gently kissed your lips, and held a hand softly to your cheek, the pain eased up a little. "You are so perfect." He breathed out quietly, moving his lips up to your forehead. Warmth filled your cheeks as he lay next to you, holding you with comfort against his warm body. "Honestly, I've never enjoyed someone as much as you." You wanted to have some witty comeback, that of course you were the best, trying to sound confident, but it was hard to speak right now. Probably because you just started crying. Tojis face softened as you just let your emotions out. "What's wrong?" He asked gently, holding you even closer. "It, it all just hurts. And I'm confused, my head is full of worry." "Worry? About what?" "I don't know." You admitted, tucking your self into Tojis arms. Honestly you didn't know. Everything felt weird. You were supposed to like this, weren't you? You liked him, he definitely liked you too, and he was super hot. So weren't you supposed to be madly in love?

I hope you enjoyed! I'm so sorry this is a week late, life got in the way. I wante this first chapter to only have two parts, but I didn't want this last part to be extremely long, so I decided to make one more part after this. So there will be three in total. The next part will happen this week so Im not so far behind on my personal schedule.

Comments and likes are truly appreciated!! <3

[docholligay]

I wish this movie had come out when I was a kid, because it really would have spoken to me. I think that's why I like it so much as an adult, too!

I was an odd kid in a large extended family that was tight-knit and I had aspirations far beyond my station. I wanted to learn to cook gourmet food, I wanted to go to London and Paris and eat meals with white tablecloths and fine manners, I wanted to see art and opera. All of these things were, to my larger family, ridiculous. It wasn't that they didn't love me, but, I think, in a sense they were afraid i was going to leave them behind. I wanted a world that was completely different from the sort of dirt-scratch prairie life I was born into--which I also love!

But when In was a kid, I didn't realize that it doesn't have to be one way or the other. They, I think, didn't either, and so it was silly, and stupid, and funny, that I wanted to do all these things. Didn't I know where I was from? I was never going to sit in the Ritz, and so it was stupid to try and I should give up now and I look kinda stupid with that teacup.

They were wrong! I've done everything I said I was going to do, and I became the person I wished I was, and I can still skin a deer and load a rifle to top it all off. But this idea of wanting more, on an artistic level, wanting things that were demeaned as snobby, wasn't something I felt a got a lot of. I guess Belle? From Beauty and the Beast? But she wasn't interested in growing her skills or anything in an artistic sense, she just liked to read. So I didn't take to her really at all. Ariel, I guess, but I didn't want a dude. I wanted to TRY things.

Anyway, all that to say I love this statement. A very important part of cooking is the continual fucking up. I do it all the time! I live to fuck up! That I was born to a family where I was literally the first person on BOTH sides to go to college and the first one on both sides to set foot in a non-Canadian country since my family moved here, doesn't matter! All it takes is work and a willingness to be wrong! A willingness to eat a really bad meal sometimes! A willingness to cry in the corner of a French train station because you don't know how trains work and the guy in the information booth was really mean to you about your shitty French!

Imagine what you could do if you stopped being afraid. Imagine what you could be.

I would love to go back to that weird eight year old and go, "They're wrong. But they're wrong because they're afraid you don't think they're enough. It's complicated and you'll get it more when you're older, also, you are going to have tea at the fucking Ritz someday. You're going to drink wine at a cafe in Paris. Don't worry about it."

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

was having trans marty thoughts again and i came to a realization about this scene

[eikichi-supremacy]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything

[the-stove-is-divorced]

Truly the grief for shows with 20+ eps a season is so indescribable, not everything needs to be 8-10 eps with 45+ min each episode!

And honestly, so true? Agree heavily here. I love the drama of the scene (mostly), Cecil v. Mark, ex. Mark thinking Cecil would outright try to kill him, b/c Mark's prob seeing the Nolan in Cecil, who takes the rejection of obedience into outright violence (presumably?). But still! Lacking! This would hit harder if there was more built up to Mark's trust in Cecil, any mentor-like advice, or paralleled Nolan in Cecil as it did Mark! But, Mark's difficulty in vocalizing his own morality, like you mention, just kinda leaves me a little confused on this whole conflict between them. It retracts from scenes with Oliver, too, it retracts the drama of A LOT, if it just leaves same outright squinting at the screen, 'cause the very foundation, what Mark knows and thinks is right, isn't exactly solid and established.

Like, why doesn't Mark vocalize the importance the HELPING people? Some classic spidey "great power, great responsibility", why is my guy going through the motions, and clearly STILL struggling? I feel like s1 does make some point to highlight Mark does want to help people, or trying to prod at his idea of what helping people means, even if it ends up going terribly wrong. Him failing to rescue a dying woman, him roped into fighting Machine Head, does prod at his ideas of what his job can/doesn't mean, but it feels like they never dive back into that properly? Which is strange, 'cause that's another potential Eve, Mark tie-in, as Eve realizes she can't do everything yet, Mark tries to figure out what he can do. Then they're both learning! Even supporting each other while pushing character growth! But it seems his only goal posts are Don't Be Dad (somehow? vaguely? no sub-goals, here), and Punch Bad Guy...? It's so strange.

Rewatching clips of s1's Mark vs Nolan fight rn, and Mark's weirdly unspecific morality is even weirder? He was trying to save ppl in that battle, desperately, no? I would think post-Nolan fight, he'd want to work real hard in gaining public trust again, and getting real emotional when ANY civilians die. Nolan outright tells him it's his fault ppl died, and Mark, later, learns Nolan is dead ass serious (pun intended lol) about replacing him, why wouldn't that message sink in further? Make him try to saving people first, over fight? Why not show Mark struggling with taking out the bad guy to stop threat, OR saving people whole the threat lingers, unable to choose a higher priority or outright choosing the wrong one, ultimately taking any mistake as proof the s1 fight was his fault.

Truly, some good ol' flashbacks into Guardian dynamics would be so thrilling, because yeah, it seems they were all in good terms! I also just want it so bad. How dare you gimme bootleg Justice League and then don't give me the dynamics. Outright entertainment robbery. YES TEAM DYNAMICS MY BELOVED FOR REAL. The deprivation of small, but so TELLING character moments make me so ill, because it's SO NEEEDED!!! Same brain waves, because the outright visual communication of these characters is NEEDED and would make me so ill in a good way. The budget issue limiting this show will never NOT drive me insane because Amazon HAS THE MONEY FOR SURE, but refuses to make this show something that, even if the writing isn't exactly fantastic, the FIGHTS could be legendary, if not playful. Also WHY did all of them go fr????? That's such a stupid decision? Especially if limiting it down further could have more character moments, even if small visual cues the show lacks!

I feel I violently check out when it comes to romantic focused media to not fully click this trope is so persistent and so ODD? Like HELLO? That's such a backhanded gift at best, inpersonal and one-sided, and outright cruel if I really wanna go there 'cause like you said, you don't know them. Even making a JOKE out of what's supposed to be a meal meaning gift is crazy??? Like this is fiction, a gift is GREAT way to demonstrate intentionally who these characters are and their relationship to each other. Don't remember the episode or if you're there already, but Justice League has an episode where Wonder Woman + Batman get Superman a bday gift before plot happens, (tho it's strange tbh, in the comics WW's gift is actually Batman's? But they switch it for the show if I'm not mistaken???) and GREAT moment!

Kate and Immortal piss me off so bad but we've already discussed why, like this girl isn't a character istg, EXPLORE HER DAMMIT, but seriously! We got a secret identity plotline BRIEFLY before dropping it and then just straight up functioning on how it's not a thing at all like hello????? Can this have any consequences or impact, even if it's people just look the other way? Which is so odd when it's a common staple for the hero genre, too, but I suppose they don't want to explore it? Perhaps too much of a staple to be interesting for them?

AND TRULY i am so tired of mark getting kicked around, bro, what the heck? Do something before the eleventh hour? But characters being genre savvy would be so funny, imagine somebody just pretends to be hurt to get Mark to actually focus lol.

THE ROGUE GALLERY IS SO SAD AND IT MAKES ME SO UPSET. How we get a bootleg JL and no actually good rogue gallery????? CRAZY WORK. Like part of the WHOLE FUN of superhero media is the villains, like, batman villains are crazy interesting or always just entertaining to SOMEONE, poison ivy, harley quin, penguin, etc, which usually reflect back on batman's character in some way if ya wanna dig into it, or just enjoy a good villain! Instead... it's just sad and empty. Currently foaming at the mouth for ANY super villain to be a mark parallel (like a former villain sidekick trying to step out the shadows of their mentor), or straight up used to be Nolan's nemesis and just tries to keep it up with Mark, insisting they're the same for example IDK. Villains are also good at establishing the world!!

ALSO SO TRUE? I don't think it's ever been actually acknowledged??? Ever?? Why doesn't he explore being mixed raced???? My guy is mixed race AND half human, there is SOMETHING to say here. ALSO SO FUCKING TRUE? WHY CAN'T OLIVER AND MARK BOND ABOUT BEING HYBRIDS? ABOUT HOW OLIVER CAN'T PASS AS EASILY?? My guy can't even go to school 'cause he grows up too fast, like can we talk about this??? Can Oliver be a person??? That could put some conflict / added conflict in the relationship?? Can Mark think about what it's like be HALF ALIEN? Can this mf have some unique oddness because of being a hybrid, I BEG. This is why the lack of self introspection in the desert makes me utterly insane. IT WAS RIGHT THERE.

Also you're telling me we got demons, billion dollar teleporters, cursed family lines, aliens, but nothing to instantly make Oliver look human so he can walk around? Easy way for Mark to feel indebted to Cecil, or Oliver trusting Cecil, something???

Cecil is so fucking interesting because he truly must be Like This. Which is even funnier because you'd think he'd be easier to guess with a focus on his, like, trajectory but no???? At least to me. I am squinting, personally. One would think you'd want needed allies close by and endeared to you, control 'em better, but Mark threatens, and he threatens back even harder, like I GET WHY but also DAMN. Instant escalation. Never threaten this mf, he'd take you AND himself out. It's also funny because like Oliver kills and Mark struggles articulating why it's bad, but also Cecil is presumably A-OK with killing (now) but only when he says so (assumingly). Like, don't kill because we could use them, isn't a because it's bad :( argument???

So, I'd imagine if he had to tackle training/mentoring Mark and Oliver it'd be a challenges in the opposite direction. Like No, Oliver you can't kill them ALL. Yes, Mark you DO have to kill sometimes. I'd kill to know what that looks like. Does Oliver get a whole team dedicated to training him, and Cecil check-ins?

But back to his side of things, I just wanna shake him furiously. Like, you point out, you're telling him to stand down WHY inducing pain AND beating him the fuck up like HELLO? You did not make Mark seem dangerous, now YOU look unhinged in dangerous in a desperate power grab/for control. You're basically tazing someone and telling them to calm down LMAO. Which also like did you try calling them off or is this legit an error here? Which yes, yes, characters can make wrong decisions or have flaws and ruin things despite their best intentions, paved roads and all that, but also it so funny if you tilt your head. Cecil why. I get it yes, but also Cecil, no, Cecil no.

Also exactly, when it's TOO vague I just stare the doc. There's no jumping point to push it's anything goes and how hard do I want to overthink it?

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[brionysea]

if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest