#but life lately has just been bleh

[sturnioloshacker]

is it just me or is life super boring and has got no meaning to it whatsoever?

[chronal-anomaly]

job hunting is just so :bleh:

[queeny-v]

Having some art block, probs gonna go on a short hiatus for a bit idk

[locomoqo]

Could we get something related to gun trying to convince the reader who he loves to stay with him. Reader is conflicted with her feelings because she loves him but she’s aware of his job and how dangerous it is for the both of them. Angst & comfort please!

love me like a sailor

— gun park x reader

details: angst with comfort, established relationship

A/N: 1.2k words whewww, also i hope i did gun's personality justice here🥹 i rlly do believe he'd soften around someone he loves (i have a feeling this didnt come off as angsty as i wanted it to be bleh)

The room is dimly lit, shadows stretching long across the floor as the evening light fades behind heavy curtains. Gun stands in front of you, his usually impassive face softened by an emotion he rarely shows—vulnerability. The tension between you both is almost suffocating, a thick silence hanging between breaths. Your heart is heavy with the weight of a decision you don’t want to make.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” you murmur, your voice barely a whisper. You clutch your arms, holding yourself together because you’re afraid that if you let go, you’ll fall apart. You look up at him, eyes filled with the conflict that’s been tearing at you for weeks. He’s been distant lately, lost in the chaos of his work, and you can’t pretend any longer that it doesn’t scare you.

Gun’s jaw tightens, his usually stoic expression cracking for a brief second. There's a flicker of something fragile in his eyes. He steps forward, a little too quickly, as if he's scared you might vanish. “I’m here now, aren’t I?” he says, his voice quiet and distant—just like it always is.

You meet his gaze, your eyes brimming with unshed tears, hating that he makes it sound so simple. “But for how long?” you ask, your voice breaking. “You’re always chasing danger, always fighting, always risking everything. I can’t... I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t tear me apart every time you walk out that door.” The words spill out of you, each one a stab to your own heart. You hate how weak you sound, how vulnerable. But you can’t help it. You can’t stop loving him.

Gun’s brows furrow, his usual mask slipping as he takes a step closer. He towers over you, but there’s a gentleness in his eyes that contradicts his imposing presence. His hands tremble slightly as he reaches for you but stops, hovering with uncertainty as if he’s not sure he has the right to touch you anymore. “I don’t know how to be different,” he admits, his voice raw and low, twisting your heart. It's true, fighting has become part of who he is, it's all he's ever known. “This is who I am. But if it means losing you, I’ll—”

“No,” you interrupt, shaking your head, feeling tears sting at the corners of your eyes. “I don’t want to be the reason you lose your edge. I don’t want to be your weakness.”

You see frustration flare in his eyes, the helplessness he fights so hard to conceal. His hands drop to his sides, curling into fists as he takes a shaky breath. “Do you think I want to be this way?” he asks, his voice suddenly fierce, desperation cutting through his words. “Do you think I don’t know what it does to you every time I leave? I’m trying, damn it, but I can’t just walk away from who I am. I’ve built my life around this, and I can’t change it, not overnight.”

He stretches his hand out, catching yours before you can pull away. There's an urgency in his grip—an unspoken plea hidden beneath his cold facade. The anger fades from his face, replaced by something hollow and broken. “You’re not my weakness,” he insists, his hold firm but gentle. “You never have been. You’re the only person who makes me want to be better. For you.” He swallows, eyes locked on yours. “I know it’s dangerous. I won’t lie to you about that. But I can protect you. I will protect you.”

Your heart aches at the sincerity in his voice, but you know it’s not enough. You pull your hand back, wiping away a tear before it can fall. “What if something happens to you?” you ask, your voice cracking. “What if I lose you?”

Gun’s expression tightens, and he reaches for you again, his hands settling on your shoulders with surprising gentleness. “Nothing’s going to happen to me,” he says firmly, his voice steady, as if daring fate to contradict him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He almost adds, “Not if it means leaving you,” but the words die in his throat.

“...I don’t want to leave,” you say, your voice hoarse, and it’s the truth. You don’t want to lose him. You don’t want to be without the man who’s somehow become the most important part of your life, the one who knows you better than anyone else. “But I don’t want to watch you destroy yourself either.” Your voice wavers, and you turn away as a sob escapes before you can choke it down.

Gun’s fingers gently tilt your chin back, his touch tender in a way that takes you by surprise. “Look at me,” he commands, his tone softer than you’ve ever heard. You meet his gaze, and for the first time, you see the raw fear in his eyes—the fear of losing you. “I’m not asking you to ignore the danger. I’m asking you to stay with me.”

Your chest tightens, and you shake your head as tears finally spill over. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this,” you admit, your voice barely audible.

Gun’s hands come up to cup your face, and this time, he doesn’t hesitate. His touch is achingly gentle, his thumb brushing away the tears that fall down your cheeks. “Then don’t watch,” he says, his voice teetering on desperation. “Let me be the one who takes the risks. I’ll handle it. I’ll handle everything if it means I can keep you by my side.” His voice is so soft, so uncharacteristically vulnerable.

“Isn’t that enough?” His eyes, usually so cold and distant, search yours, desperate for any sign that you might stay.

For a moment, all you can hear is the pounding of your own heartbeat, each thud echoing in your ears. The tears come faster now, and you let yourself lean into his touch, feeling the warmth of his palms against your skin. There’s a sadness in his gaze that cuts you to the core, but there’s also hope—a fragile, flickering flame that refuses to die.

Your hands tremble as you cling to the fabric of his shirt, your fingers curling into the material. “I love you,” you whisper, your voice breaking, “but I’m scared, Gun. I’m so scared.”

His arms wrap around you, pulling you against his chest. His hold is firm and unwavering, like he’s trying to shield you from the world itself. “Then be scared,” he whispers into your hair, his breath warm against your temple, “but don’t go.”

It's the first time you’ve ever heard him beg, and it shatters something inside you. You stay there, wrapped in the security of his embrace. He’s far from perfect, and so are you, but in this moment, you find a sort of peace—a hope that, maybe, love is enough.

Gun pulls back slightly, his hands still cradling your face as he stares at you with an intensity that steals your breath. “Stay,” he whispers, his voice rough and desperate. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to us.”

You don’t know what the future holds, or if his promise is one he can keep, but in this moment, as his thumb gently brushes your cheek, you find yourself nodding, your resolve crumbling in the face of the man you love. Gun exhales shakily, a soft, relieved sound, and pulls you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck. For the first time in a long while, you feel like maybe—just maybe—everything will be okay.

[lucyav13]

The memories

(A/N): All the memories with its corresponding music. Enjoy! :) 

Memory one:

I remember that day well...The room was warm. The hole place was at peace.

"Ugh... Uuugh..."

"You're awake at least?"

"Where... am I? Is this... a human's home? Bleccch!"

"Don't wiggle like that. I found you at the cliff base. You took quite a fall."

"You're a human, correct? I don't... repulse you? I am of the Tribe of Darkness..."

"Why would that matter? Anyone with a heart would not ignore an injured soul!"

That was the day our paths crossed...

That day... That was the day our tragedy was set in motion.   

Memory two:

"You're late. Did something happen?"

"Yes, my father caught me. Sneaking out of the castle wasn't easy after that."

"I was worried you wouldn't come..."

"You are a strange girl... You know what I am and yet you do not seem afraid."

"I don't care what you are. I just wanted to see you. Is that... Is that so wrong?"

"No. No, of course not. I wanted to see you too..."

"Blumiere... Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

"Please do, Timpani. Let's return to our conversation. I must know more of you..."

Memory three:

"Timpani, why? Why do you avoid me?"

"Ow... OW! Unhand me!"

"Huh? You're crying! Why? Timpani, you must tell me what was happened!"

"It's nothing.. Don't worry about it... Just forget it..."

"Oh no... Timpani, is my father behind this?"

"I'm... I'm just an ordinary girl. No matter how much I love you, we must part."

"Timpani... I..."

"This is good-bye, Blumiere. There's no other choice. This is our fate..."

Memory 4:

"What... What are you thinking? There's no possible way... No one would allow it"

"If we can't be happy here, we must leave for a place that will accept our love."

"But, Blumiere, is there such a place? Think... I can't bear to see you hurt again."

"If our love has no home... let us spend our lives searching together!"

"So I beg of you again... Timpani, marry me! I promise I will make you happy."

"You... just won't give up, will you? Of all the crazy... stubborn... foolish men..."

"Timpani, answer me, please."

"Blumiere, I love you. Take me away. Take me to a world where we can be happy."

Memory five:

"Look, Timpani. The stars are beautiful, aren't they?"

"There's a tradition in my village. We believe that wishes on stars come true."

"Oh, is that so? In that case we'd better get wishing, don't you think?"

"I don't need to wish anymore."

"Mmm?"

"I already got my wish. Now... I have everything I need right here."

"Timpani... Aren't you cold?"

"Not at all. I'm very warm... Can we stay like this? Just a little longer?"

Memory six:

"Timpani! What did you do with her? I must see her!"

"Still your tongue Blumiere... Can't you see you've been duped by a dirty human?"

"You have brought shame to my name... and to the entire Tribe of darkness!"

"And so what if I did? That doesn't matter to me! She's my entire world."

"Well, then it will interest you to know... that she no longer resides in this world."

"What... what do you mean by that!?"

"This is the price those who resist their own fate must pay, my son."

"She... No... It can't be so!"

"Someday you will see, son. Our kind and humans must never mix."

Memory seven:

"Blumiere, my son, don't! Even your ancestors could not handle that dark book..."

"If you open it... there's no telling what might happen!"

"I do not care, Father! A world without her is empty. A LIFE without her is empty."

"Speak, Dark Prognosticus! Teach your dark history! I await your command!"

"BLEH HEH HEH! BLECK!"

"Blumiere... What have you done?"

"Silence! The first prophecy beckons. I will erase every inch... of this blasted world!"

"Blu-Blumiere! Don't do this! Blumiere!"

"Blumiere is no more! I am Count Bleck! And no one shall stand in my way!"

"BLEH HEH HEH! BLECK!"

(A/N): By the way, if you want to see the memories in better quality or download the file or IDK, I will leave you the link to Google Docs:)

[bloggingboutburgers]

I have started working on a few pieces for the OC-tober event, I might not be able to do all of them but I wanted to try improving my drawing skills and be able to share my art.

I really love your art style, and as a young Aroace, I find your art to be relatable and enjoy reading the different things you post on your blog.

I just wanted to ask how being an aroace person had affected your life, relationships, and how people around you had reacted to it.

Thank you for making all this amazing art.

hufjkhgjdfk Oh god I'm so sorry – I just found this ask back and it dates back to october, I'm so sorry I'm replying so damn late!! T^T Arguably my fall was a bit messy...

Thank you so much for the kind words!

If I had to sum up how being aroace has affected my life throughout, I guess it'd be like...

I got ostracized or treated weird as a teen (I was bullied in the first place anyway but bleh) because people thought I was gay (very nice to gay people too as you can see)

I didn't start to get supportive "oh, OK" responses until I was in my 20s. And even then most of what I got from most people was responses like those at the beginning of this, or the ever-eternal not actually hearing me out when I say I'm aroace (and that's not to mention people who'd tell me "that doesn't exist", those who'd tell me "I can fix you" or that one guy who was like "oh yeah me too, I'm actually getting my balls removed tomorrow", but those cases are more rare, usually it's indifference and not paying attention to it at all and just deciding to treat me as allo again, which is arguably pretty harmless but pretty alienating too). Only my bros and a few close friends really supported me on that one, in a "live and let live" kinda way.

Honestly it took getting in a queerplatonic relationship with a fellow afab person and starting to be open about it for people to actually see me – and even then, probably not for what I am, for most people. I imagine most people just think I'm gay, on a surface level.

...I guess tbh that's the main most noticeable impact I guess? Most people just think I'm gay. Which feels weird. Cus I'm not.

But the few people who DO see me for who I am and accept me as such are very precious. The large majority of my coworkers over the years have been very supportive and open to listen to me ramble about my experience and considering I interact with these people everyday, that's very precious.

...God I'm bad at replying in an organised manner. I don't even know if that replied to your question in any way TwT And again, I'm so sorry I replied so late. I hope you've been well though!!

[sillygoofyqueer]

I wrote this when I read the latest chapter of losing hope but I didn’t have time to send, so here:

Four, I love you so much.

The comfort to the hurt of the previous (and probably future) chapters?? Unparalleled. It is so late it’s early as of reading it so reading comprehension is a bit weird but frankly? I’m probably going to do a reread. Maybe of the entire fic. Who knows! Everything in this latest chapter has me squealing of joy and also crying over how bittersweet it all is! The lan juniors doing everything they can to make Wwx comfortable? And Wwx realizing who lan yuan is??? Adorable. I’m going to cry over this until the end of time. LWJ and Wwx misreading each other hurts tho. Like,

LWJ: he’s been suffering for so long while I have done nothing to stop it. Helping him and showing we care for him would be the bare minimum and I should be ashamed of myself for letting this wonderful man suffer so.

Meanwhile, Wwx: sooooo… is he going to turn me in…? Not that I want to go back but just wondering. No…??? But he hated me back then?? Guess this is the best I’ll get since everyone else wants to kill me..?

They’re idiots. I love your portrayal of them. I also can’t wait to see when LWJ realizes how much of this was done by Jin Guangyao. That man is dead twice over considering if Nie Huaisang joins LWJ in making Jin Guangyao regret living? Oh jgy is going to be begging for death.

Can’t wait for the next chapter but remember to take breaks and take care of yourself :3

Looking up at you with big ole eyes. BIG ole eyes. I am quite literally dead. Gone. On the floor and wiped out. Cough cough cough, bleh. ...... ANYWAY!!!!!!! I was really concerned when portraying Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji this chapter because...well, it's their first interaction together after thirteen years! There are complete different circumstances to canon!! So, hearing that you like how I am portraying them is nothing but literal music to my ears. Lan Wangji being the repenting worshipper and Wei Wuxian as the traumatised prisoner??? Mmmmmm. It is something that I've been wanting to write well, but I've been PETRIFIED. Also, Wei Wuxian hasn't figured out who Lan Yuan is just yet because boy oh BOY if I'm not going to make this reveal dramatic. I did Drama for GCSE, it's in my blood. And AND, I shouldn't be telling you this but because I'm so madly in love with you, you get little hints towards the plot. I literally cannot wait to introduce Nie Huaisang. I've been wrestling myself the the floor every time I want to prematurely introduce him, but trust me when I say it's going to be brilliant when he's finally dragged into the plot. And he will be. By his ear, kicking and screaming, but oh..he will be. And it will not be helpful for Jin Guangyao when he is. Don't worry! After all of this hurt I would be truly criminal to deny a little comfort. Not much though - what do you take me for? FUN FACT!!! There may be certain guest appearances in the next chapter. Who knows? Maybe you'll never know. I can't believe I haven't mentioned it yet, but I am truly violently sobbing. I'm thrashing around in my grave (where I'm writing this from) every time I reread this ask. I LOVE YOU TO BITS. YOU BRING SUCH JOY IN MY LIFE. AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH. On another note...am I writing chapter ten?.....DON'T LOOK AT MY DOC. DON'T LOOK AT IT. THERE'S NO PROOF. I'm not procrastinating my summer work to write it.. (listen, I've only just realised that this is exactly what I'm doing. Will I sort that out? No. BACK TO THE DOC-) (context here)

[cosplayprincess21]

who are your favourite aroace characters/characters you headcanon as aroace (and why)

I hope you feel better btw:)

Oh fun! Ok gonna start off with the Canon ones, that being Senku from Dr.STONE and Saiki from Saiki K. With Saiki it's his general attitude of "I do not wanna deal with this." "Leave me alone I want solitude" "I am surrounded by idiots" attitude, which I relate to heavily. As i too wanna be left alone and don't wanna deal with anything or deal with idiots. For Senku it's also his chaoticness. As someone who is also chaotic, the way he handles things is just away I wish I could handle stuff without being criticized for it you know?

For headcanons, I headcanon Cana from Fairy Tail as aroace, and I also do headcanon Hanajima from Fruits Basket as aroace, she just seems so not into any of that stuff , I also headcanon Wendy from Fairy Tail as aroace, I don't know, not regarding her age of 12, I just never have seen her as wanting to ever be with anyone in more then a friends way.

And thank you for the last part, life's just been rather bleh lately so the depression has been on and off in the "let's make you more miserable" visits. Anyways I hope you like the post, and feel free to send in more requests if you want.

[halfbakedspuds]

Thanks to @orion-lacroix for the tag! I was gonna get to it earlier but... life happened and I forgor.

Eto bleh. Anyways.

(Also I'm writing this while incredibly tired, so I'm sorry if my English isn't up to scratch)

Writeblr Questionaire

How long have you had your Writeblr/writing Tumblr?

I've had this Tumblr account since the beginning of lockdown (March/April 2020 by us) and I created it because of a PM Seymour video. I made like one post that has now been banished to the void, then forgot I even had a Tumblr account until about ¿June/July? last year when a friend of mine brought up the idea of using Tumblr to share her writing, and I decided to do the same.

What's one thing you'd like your mutuals to know about you?

Due to reasons that include but are not limited to me barely having time anymore, I have a tendency to sometimes take a while to reply to people on here.

Don't worry if it takes like a week for me to respond, I'm just like that sometimes.

What's your favourite thing about the Writeblr community?

The amount of people who are infinitely more skilled than me that I can learn and take inspiration from.

Which WIPs or Writing Projects have you been Noodling about recently?

I've had a few emotional scenes for the Tempest Prince brewing in my head (plus I have like an hour with nothing to do after every exam I write, so daydreaming it is)

I'm also somewhat noodling for a small game I'm working on as a side project, but that's less story-related and more technical shenanigans at this point.

Do you remember what inspired them/got you started?

Children of the Stars I don't remember exactly what inspired the story aspect, but I know what the setting evolved from. Basically, I was a huge Mass Effect fan in primary school. Actually, I was a fan of Scifi overall but Mass Effect was peak gaming for me back then. Then somewhere along the line I played Bulletstorm and Warhammer 40k: Space Marine, and this half daydream of an Alien Empire locked in an eternal war for survival began to evolve in the back of my head before turning into the first recognisable precursor to Children of the Stars somewhere in late 2021.

Echoes of Shadows was inspired by the game Tails Noir, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and a Call of Cthulhu campaign run by a friend of mine way back when.

The Tempest Prince was originally conceived of because my first playthrough of Bloodborne coincided with my first reading of the Percy Jackson books.

Is there anything you'd like to see more of on your dash?

Comics and short stories. Look, I don't have time to read a full length book until, like, November again, so a little episodic escape is a nice way to detox from the crap we need to deal with for these exams.

Name any characters you've created: side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who've never been written, the first original abomination you pulled from your rear... whatever you like!

Artemis is a Siberian ARX-11 mechanized shock-drop trooper who was deployed in a conflict so violent that future historians in-universe consider it less of a war than a outright cataclysm.

Quite literally, like the humble sea-turtle: she was born feet first into a hell she never asked for.

She's also one of the incredibly few Androids who not only survived the Fall of Earth, but after her inevitable 'death' by running out of fuel sources, she managed to remain intact for another six hundred years before a Union archaeology team found her and her enclave and managed to restore some of them to working order.

How much time- in your best estimation- do you spend thinking about them?

Outside the story of Children of Strife, this also makes her one of the oldest sentient beings in the known universe and technically the great great grandmother of almost all modern Androids and Biosynths.

It's also rumoured that she helped to raise a child orphaned during the fall of Earth who would grow up to be the military advisor of the first Empress, which technically makes her an important theological figure in the (now dying) Imperial cult.

Yes

Who's the most unhinged?

See, I'd say Adrian from Children of the Stars because he has a tendency to just do shit that makes you worry about his safety, but the thing with him is that he is fully aware of what he's actually capable of and is very cautious to not overstep those limits.

Lyanni, However...

One of Adrian's many nicknames for her is Miragran, which is Callistoan for "Big miracle", because that's what it must've taken for her to have not gotten herself killed yet.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

The fact that the answer is Adrian Castellan does not speak kindly about my mental health, does it...

Do you ever cringe at them?

How much control do you have over your characters? Do they ever write themselves, refuse to co-operate or do things you didn't expect? To what extent?

Not really.

Well, except for Adrian being a typical 27th century child who has no conception of sexism/racism/homophobia etc. beyond it being a footnote in a half-forgotten history textbook, which puts him in situations where it takes him a minute or two to realise that someone's being a prick to Lyanni.

I'd say I have relatively decent control over them. With the exception of the Haliday brothers in the Tempest Prince, 'cause they speak the same dialect of English as I do but I need to dial it back a bit because what's understandable for us has moments where it barely looks like English to foreigners.

And every so often I need to go back and un-Saffa their lines a bit because guess what? My dialect is annoyingly insistent on manifesting itself in these characters.

Are some less co-operative than others?

The old version of Adrian's character was really damn uncooperative. Like, he kept feeling like he was sitting on a story that he couldn't tell, and that was why he kept feeling like he was acting wrong no matter what I wrote him doing.

His current iteration tells that story in a way, and that element of tragedy playing into who he is has made him a lot more co-operative.

When someone asks the dreaded "What do you write about?" question, what do you usually say?

See, most people who know that I write are either close friends who already know what I write, or don't care enough to ask.

My grandmother, however, did ask the one time. That was also the day I realised that I know absolutely no scifi terminology in my home language.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters and do you have a preferred way of receiving said questions?

Listen, if you wrote the question as a note, folded it into a paper airplane and threw it through my window, I'd firstly be very concerned about how in the nine hells you figured out where I live, then I'd be utterly ecstatic for the rest of the day because someone asked me a question.

I keep all my socials separate, though, so if you have any questions then asks, comments, and reblogs on Tumblr are pretty much the only way to go.

What makes you follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow them as you see them? Scope them out first to make sure you align with its content? Or do you follow based on WIPs or vibes?

Imma be honest there are like two people on here whom I followed simply because I know them IRL, and like three total writeblrs whom I followed first.

Everyone else followed me and I said "Ey, sha'p," before following back.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I try to.

Do your mutuals' OCs occupy a space in your Noodle?

Absolutely!

No pressure tag for @honeybewrites and @thatoneterrariaplayers-vault,

[mooodyblue]

You doing okay Lily? I haven’t seen you on in a bit. I haven’t been writing, I’ve just been lurking

hi yes 🥹

there's so much i have to do in terms of writing, requests to do and whatnot. i've been so unmotivated lately. i see new people liking my fics and im genuinely surprised still despite me being awful with writing recently. idk. i love writing, but its been so hard to find motivation or any sort of purpose to do it and i think ive been really down on myself lately about writing?

i keep saying i'm gonna do this and i'm gonna do that but then i don't do it and i get mad at myself because im disappointing people (those people being like 3 people probably.) and so i don't write :/ i have stuff unfinished, ideas for requests and ideas for some stuff outside of requests (which are literally just 3 requests lol) but my brain just. won't let me do it. i'll open google docs, write a couple lines and then just give up. better than nothing, but not good enough for me 🙃

it doesn't help that i've been hyperfixated on one of my games to the point where im not doing things i Need to do because i want to keep playing !!!!!! plus life has been very overwhelming and bleh. i didn't meant to vent about everything

tldr: Yes. i'm okay. LOL

[lee-aveyourmark]

lukewarm

∘.∙°. masterlist Pairing: rich corporate!Jung Jaehyun x reader Genre: lonely angst, slight fluff Warnings: mentions of food and alcohol, italics replace quotation marks Wordcount: 757

Inspired by this masterpiece: Sun, why are you so hot? Heart, why are you so cold? In this world, I cannot seem to light the sun within my heart There is none beside you.

A/N: i literally have no idea what this is but it's been in my drafts for far too long and i managed to kinda finish it so, bleh, here you go - my first piece of angst (i think)

After ending things with his previous partners, they would often ensure that they would have the last word through the glitter dusting his leather car seats and the egg stains on his house walls. Evidence to make him remember who they were and what he did to their hearts, hoping that the spaghetti sauce on his favourite hoodies would haunt him for years to come.

And each time, Jaehyun would forget. As he called for cleaning services and bought another of the same hoodie, he would calmly pick up the pieces of the storm that has wrecked upon him like pieces of a 32-piece jigsaw puzzle and put them back together.

But when you leave, there isn't a mess he has to clean up after. No middle-of-the-night threats, no malicious rumours spread about his sex life around the office. When he enters his wardrobe, all his clothes sit there in pristine condition with his collars crisp and his shirts wrinkle-free. His company even manages to snatch the collaboration with the digital artist that's been trending, and he's lavished with compliments and dinners in response to the surge in recognition.

Maybe that's why he hated it even more. The fact that you removed yourself without a trace nor sound. He's living his life as normal. In fact, he's living even better than before according to his career values. But some sadistic part within himself wanted you to trash his house and make him a fool in front of all of his colleagues. Slap him, cry at him, steal his card. Do anything to hurt him so that he could feel less guilty about the pain he's inflicted upon you.

So that he could make himself forget about you.

Jaehyun finds himself dropping and breaking the puzzle when you're gone. There are late nights of tossing and turning in his bed, his brain imagining that your scent still lingers on his sheets. A habit is made out of clasping and unclasping his hands during corporate dinners, skin itching to feel the soothing strokes of your thumb against his knuckles and small steady circles of your warm palm against his back.

Nervous? They'd ask him when picking up on his fidgeting, offering some bubbles with a tight-lipped smile. He'd accept the drink wordlessly, not bothering to mention that he'd lost count of how many colleagues approached him in the same manner. Rounds and rounds of champagne left untouched, returned back to the waiters and recirculated around the function. For all he knew, he could've been holding one previously given to him.

He'd then very slightly shake his head at their one-worded attempts in conversation, feeling the condensation of the flute wet and freeze his fingers.

No, not nervous.

Just cold.

How could one person radiate so much heat? Your presence always melted the cold frigid winds he blew all around wherever he went, keeping people at a distance which prevented them from even wondering if the abominable snowman was alive beneath all that ice.

But whenever you cradled his head and praised him with the softest of affirmations, and whenever you admonished him with a faltering glare, Jaehyun knew. He could feel it in his bones that, as you patted lotion over his face with bleary eyes on a late Wednesday night, he was truly living. On fire, he might say, as you placed a hand over his forehead and the other over his pink cheeks with a frown that contrasted his dimples.

You're heating up Jae, you murmured while reaching to the bedside table for the half-drunken glass of water.

Am I? He mused, bringing the glass to his lips which were upturned in appreciation of your affections.

Hearing the small gasp you let out as he kisses you promptly after, Jaehyun knew that he wasn't the only one feeling the temperature in the room rise. And he loved that, always being able to make you feel the heat of his fervour for you. The two of you were flames feeding off one another, never weakening nor experiencing cold when together.

But now, all Jaehyun picks up on are the chills that he sends down people's spines. In the room full of colleagues socialising and seizing opportunities, he's quiet and unmoving. His evident lack of enthusiasm cuts conversations short and people hastily excuse themselves to avoid catching frostbite.

He just watches them, letting the condensation from the champagne flute drip down his wrists and dampen the evenly folded cuffs of his dress shirt.

Jaehyun feels nothing, really, these days.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Speaking of adam driver performances, which do you think were his best overall?

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote is actually my favorite Adam Driver movie, even though no one but me and my friends has seen it and also the director is... a bad dude.

But yeah, I think that movie really plays to something he hasn't done as much of lately, which is comedy--he has a manic energy in a lot of it, he plays against Jonathan Pryce (who also gives an incredible performance, it's a great movie) super well, and it's just like... Humor, drama, intensity, surreality, ludicrousness. And he gets to be hot at points! A win.

This is Where I Leave You is another one where he's performing but again, really funny. I wish he'd do more funny stuff, he's honestly really good at it.

LOL CONTROVERSIAL BUT BRAVE he was great in TLJ. That's the only movie where he was able to play Kylo Ren the way he should've been able to play him the whole time (I mean... I guess he did in TFA, but I'm meh on that movie in general and he wore the helmet a lot more in that one. The final lightsaber battle was great though. He was freaking crazy in that scene.) The physicality, the semi-faux little boy lost villainy, the weird tension that he used against Rey which only would've worked on Rey because they were both virgins who couldn't drive... I think TFA is bleh and TROS is HORRENDOUS and TLJ is basically the only non-OT SW movie I love. Rian Johnson was the only person who seemed to get that you could have Kylo Ren be a horrible trash human villain and a person with pathos, which is WILD considering the MOVIES THIS FRANCHISE WAS BUILT ON. It's honestly tragic that Adam wasn't able to go full force after TLJ, because in this movie, he's playing a fabulous villain. If it was up to me, Rey would've killed him in TROS and it would've been very "we could've had it all but you were in fact Evil Sexy not Good Sexy" but whatever I guess he's gonna show up in his pajamas and have zero dialogue and be good and shit.

Look, he's obviously great in Marriage Story but otherwise I hate that movie. He's fabulous in Silence but you can only see that once in your life imo.

[semper-legens]

67. Five Nights at Freddy's: Fazbear Frights vol 1

Owned?: No, library Page count: 192 My summary: A boy falls into a ball pit and comes out the other side in 1985. A girl wants to be beautiful and gets help from an unlikely friend. Some kids want the newest toy on the scene, but wind up stealing a defective copy. Three dark tales from the world of Five Nights at Freddy's. My rating: 2/5 My commentary:

Yeah, yeah, I know, laugh away. I found myself with a strange fascination about Five Nights At Freddy's lore not too long ago, culminating in me reading Cawthon's trilogy of FNaF books. But there's another branch of the FNaF lore that I haven't plumbed - Fazbear Frights, a series of short stories loosely connected around Freddy Fazbear's. This is the graphic novel adaptation of the first set of Fazbear Frights, and when it crossed my desk at work, I knew I was going to end up reading it. Hey, it's not like it took all that long. And I wanted to close off the chapter of my life where I inexplicably care about Five Nights at Freddy's by sampling the last of the FNaF lore that I hadn't yet touched. And so, here we are. This comic is split into three stories, and I'm gonna talk about all of them.

The first is the story of Oswald, a kid from a poor family stuck in his hometown over summer. He finds a ballpit in a local diner that transports him back to Freddy's in 1985, but when he does he finds himself face to face with Springtrap, who follows him back to the present. Which is…a very silly premise, but I'm willing to forgive the time-travelling ballpit. Yeah, it's ridiculous, but the 'innocuous object that takes you back in time' trope is a horror staple. I'm less willing to forgive the utter failure of this story to be horror, however. Oswald ends up going back to what I assume is the child murders, but the sequence of events as seen here is that he goes back to a Freddy's that is in chaos, Springtrap leads him into a back room, and we see six kids…just kinda sitting on chairs, a little slumped over, from the back. The implication is that they're the murder victims, but we don't see anything, they're just kind of there. No blood, nothing. And when Springtrap follows Oswald back to reality and takes his dad's place, he just…doesn't do anything. Literally. He's just there. It isn't creepy, it isn't scary, it's just baffling. There's hardly any tension because there's no threat, at least not as presented by this book. Baffling choices.

Then there's Sarah's tale. She's a teen or preteen girl who thinks she's ugly and wants to be beautiful. When she finds Circus Baby, she asks that Baby make her beautiful and, for a time, gets her wish. I…dislike how the one story about a girl is a moral lesson about Vanity Bad, but even aside from that, this just isn't a particularly well-realised story. Like, Sarah is given a necklace by Baby that she is told to never take off ever, so of course late in the story she trips and the necklace breaks. At least, I assume that is what happens. The art never actually shows that happening at any point? Sarah trips over, then starts transforming because surprise surprise she's a robot now. The necklace being off should have been shown explicitly, but it's just mentioned in dialogue, not drawn attention to in the art. Aside from that, Sarah was just so unlikeable that I struggled to care at all about this story. She makes fun of her friend for not being beauty-obsessed, and wants to get with the mean popular girls…just because they're popular, I guess? It was like a high school girl cliché as written by someone who has only ever experienced high school via bad movies. Bleh.

Finally, Oscar and his friends want to get their hands on a new toy - Plushtrap, a mechanical doll that plays a game with its owner. But when they steal one from a mysterious store, they find that Plushtrap is more alive than they thought. This one was possibly the most competent of the three, in that it actually was a horror story, but it was largely clichéd and not very interesting in and of itself. A killer toy, a little shop that wasn't there yesterday, a kid struggling with some emotional problems that are never really explored to any satisfactory level…the art was creepy enough in itself, but I had the same problem with it that I had with all of the art in this book, that it was kind of smudgy and not particularly representational of any one thing. Characters looked too similar to one another and I struggled to discern them. Plushtrap, too, fell into the trap (heh) of looking too overly creepy from the start and not being believable as a toy that a child would genuinely want to own, as opposed to a horror vehicle. Also, what teen boys really want a doll? It was just…bland, overall.

Next, back to April May, and her friends attempting to solve just what happened to her.

[the-stove-is-divorced]

OHHHH Congratulations for 100 subscribers!!! That's awesome!!❤❤❤

If it's allowed to ask about any of your fics, then what are your plans for all the time in the world or do you already have drafts for future chapters? I'm always fascinated by de-aged!Bruce fics and your foundation for the plot is something I've never seen before!! Would you like to share a quick peek into the future of that storyline?👀👀

Oh yay tysm, genuinely. (´꒳`)♡ And yes ofc!!! I'm happy to!!!

I will preface and admit literally anything I plan for any fic is 110% subject to change, especially if it doesn't feel right anymore or doesn't fit with how the story's progressing since I only write stories as I go. But with that being said, YEAH I OFC I WILL.

So as of this moment, the big plan is to jump around at different points in Bruce's life, around 4-7 different stages so it's not gonna stay stuck to his current rlly young age! (´꒳`)ゞ Bruce should jump in age in about 1-2 chapters, but entirely dependent on how the next chapter goes and that hasn't been finalized yet, much to my own internal agony, bleh. It's been such a pain in the ass to get right and the inner perfectionist in me is not helping, so it's taking longer than I want to. At the same time, I can also admit haven't decided if the next jump should be around 11-13 years old or more compellingly around 17 years old. I also wanna be careful not to make Alfred too perfect? He has the bias of hindsight in his favor, and is the main (and so far only) narrator, so I wanna get some clear contradictions in here.

Oh, and for the story's logic, the magic that de-aged him is unwinding in big ol' chunks, and won't come undone all at once, hence skipping forward! It will be 17 years old, either 18-19, either 20-21, and either 21-22 years old, with maybe an extra 13 years old so the switch from 9 to 17 isn't too jarring, if that makes sense. Plus, debating a bonus point around his late 20's/early 30's. And while I don't have a big ol' plot, as I write as I go, but there are moments I want to include if I'm able!

For example, 21 year old Bruce looks just like how old Bruce was when he took in Dick (but Dick misunderstands, Bruce was 23 when he took in 13 year old Dick), so I want to include a scene where Dick is so relieved there's finally a Bruce he understands is here, but he's still wrong. Dick might go in for a much needed hug, a beaming smile, but Bruce gives Dick a Brucie smile. Dick still a complete and utter stranger to him. The crushing plummet of hope after the first real sign of relief, being teased with the first fleeting glimpse of Bruce he knew to work around, how to behave around, only for him to treat him like a complete stranger and pull out Brucie mask on him? Horrible. I can't wait to write it.

If I'm feeling really angsty (which I probably will be), that late 20's/early 30's is Bruce before Jason died, and he's so much happier. There's a tension not found within him, a kind of wariness that hasn't been ingrained just yet, a joking, lighter tone he's more willing to display so openly. He's excited to see how his sons have grown, he wants to know what college Jason went to, what careers, he wants to know what Dick ended up doing, he's so hopeful he didn't fuck them up trying to raise them like he was so scared he would. They don't have it in their hearts to tell them what happened, I think they lie, or Alfred pointedly won't them say anything. He saw his son grieving once and he wants to savor this joy, this hope, this happiness that was buried when Jason died. He'd be furious if they revealed a damn thing right now.

But I do have chart to keep my idea for my personal understanding of Bruce's development, which I'll share below! It's not complete, and like anything, subject to change, especially at the 7-8, 9-10, and 11-13 yr old marks. But it's a general idea to keep my thoughts in order.

I hope that was satisfactory! Unfortunately, I don't have a finalized version of the next chapter done, so I can't share a sneaky peak of it (currently debating between a POV switch or continuing with Alfred) but I hope all my yapping makes up for it. TYSM for asking and showing interest. Still amazes me people like my stuff. (//▽//)

[ifuckingloveryoshu]

Bleh. Not really tagging I need to un-blorbify Ryoshu in my head but also, I want to be selfish and keep thinking self shipping thoughts. What a hassle. I already tell people that I write her or characterize her too nice. That is my bias, (not that I am writing anything at all even, its all just imaginary again) and what have you. The rest of this post is more about my thoughts on what I've read about the book Violence: A Writers Guide by Roy Miler, and vaugly rambling.

I have a pdf of the book, Violence: A Writers Guide. I still haven't set the time off to read it because I am infamous for managing time and acting on impulse. Anyways.

I feel when people do dislike Ryoshu or just see her as only sadistic murderer, they are here. I guess. Contrary to the name, I can understand why people not like Ryoshu. Honestly, as long as she continues to be written well, I will keep loving her even if her views don't align with mine. I'm prepared for if Ryoshu turns out to be the greatest artist of all the lands but ends up not the greatest mother. Hard to vocalize but you can dearly love your child so, so much, but activly be hurting them. I never want that to be forgotten because LOVE itself is a double edged sword. Never the end all be all. To open youself up to others and to live loved and loving means opening yourself up to getting hurt or hurting them. Someone else who has more life experience then I do, more experince with living, and one who is more sure of themselves could explain it better. I am not in the right place. Oh, but it is still varying from person to person, as lot of things dealing with humans tend to do.

Its too late to be typing so much but, from what section of this i've read are the levels of agression as followed: Nice, Manipulative, Assertive, Agressive, Assaultive, and Murderous. Nice are pacifist who don't use any agression. Manipulative takes advantage of nice people by passivly getting their way (maybe think blackmail or just good 'ol manipulation.) Assertive will set bounderies and use soft power to inforce those boundaries, Agressive will make threats of violence and yell out (think heavy verbal abuse.). Assultive will actually hit the aggressive person and feel justified about it. Murderous is just good ol murder.

Ryoshu is murderous but all the people on that bus have to be knocked down to the assultive level by default. They can't activly go around murder hoboing all the time. Outis is the only other sinner who I'd put in murderous because she can openly advocates like a professional. To quote the book, "A professional does not fight you, doesn’t even think about fighting you. He takes you out." And I think that fits Outis well if she weren't just stuck to Dante. Or I'm overestimating Outis' capabilities. Meursalt just doesn't apply to this scale at all. He is a special case that just does as hes told with little to no fuss. Hes not suggesting murder but he'll just do it if hes told. Even if hes not told, even before the bus, I still haven't read his book but come on. We kind of know the sun in the eyes thing.

Side Tangent: Hong Lu, Gregor and Yi Sang are in assertive. Hong Lu, im skeptical about because he is confusing. I have no idea what's going on in his brain, he has lived in an enviornment of high violence probably while being in a Nest which is strange. He just acts so care free, but there's something else there. We all know. Sinclair is just being forced gradually up there to assultive. Yi Sang has been persecuted but violence is not his first answer to things. Even if Gregor was in the Smoke War as a war veteran, his attitude does not strike me as assultive because he tries to talk things out, he was more of a PR boy, and what his bug arm does unvoulentarily is diffrent from what Gregor himself wants to do. Sinclair just keeps going from agrressive to assaultive, then to murderous with Kromer. He's developing and breaking out of his shell so he really isn't set.

I'm going to bed but

GMD: Not Limbus but uninvited guest in uhh Library Of Ruina

EBD: Virgilius and Don Quinnote scene. Virgillius just to any sinner. Maybe N Corp and Kromer and Sinclair to teach Sinclair a lesson. Uh. Erliking Heathcliff to Heathcliff roughly.

SSS: Anything sydicate related honestly.

Predatory Violence is just The City. It's just the way of the City, at least the areas outside the Nest.

There is a lot more intresting stuff in this book. Maybe when I decide to read more, ill just screw around I guess. uh. Thank for reading.

[doyouremem8erme]

being disabled was a lot like being gay or trans when i was growing up. i knew it existed. i knew their experiences contained certain elements abled and cishet peoples' didnt. but they were all kinda distant and not things i considered as something i could be or become. it felt a lot like a personal version of the "as long as its not my kid" defense except "as long as its not me." i didnt dislike the idea of me being gay, i actually loved it--the popular crowd at my school was in fact the gay friend group--and that makes sense in retrospect. it just wasnt an option that felt available to me. i hung out with the queer kids in middle school and spent so much time wondering if i was like them, but it was so foreign that i didnt even know how to conceptualize that difference from "theyre gay" to "im gay." they were like two different states and all those other queer kids out there were their own people while i was just me. and then lo and behold, skip ahead a few years later and im a queer nonbinary lesbian.

and like with queerness, i always knew disabled people were out there with different experiences, and that they too needed rights and acceptance--but even as my genetic chronic illness began presenting itself and my pain became worse and i began struggling more and more, i still suffered so much imposter syndrome. i was chronically ill, but of course i wasnt disabled! i didnt have to use a cane, i could get by without people knowing i was sick, and once again, i considered myself an outsider to that community because i couldnt imagine myself fitting in.

and its only set in recently that oh my god i am disabled and it does fuck me over just as much as the disabled influencers across social media i see vlogging their struggles. these days, most of my time at home is spent in bed. i can barely function enough to make it through school or even do my hobbies. its incredibly disheartening and discouraging and somehow, only once i see my lifelong dreams of my future put in peril by this shift in my life, i finally see myself as disabled.

i feel like i had an actual thesis to this but the brain fog has been kicking my ass lately--but really theres both just something to be said about the overlap of queer and disabled experiences and why so many queer people are disabled and vice verse because of the mindset these experiences put you into, and also the reminder that anyone can be disabled whether they appear to be or not (yes, even physically) as well as the fact that disability can happen at any age. im 17 and was diagnosed with ehlers-danlos at 16. there were signs throughout my life but over the past year and especially last months, its actually started to really really impact me more extremely negatively than before. i wrote this because i didnt have the energy to do the 6+ homework assignments i needed to do today so . idk it used up the rest of my energy and i might go to sleep very quickly after hitting post. bleh