#but let this serve as a replacement
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veliseraptor · 2 months ago
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i was tagged by @saelind-edain! using @spicedrobot's template. thank you, this was fun
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of course a bunch of these stats are a lie since ao3 aggregates stats for fics posted over multiple years to the most recent year, and a bunch of fic I posted this year was for the amnesty meme and was written a while ago. so I did not write 351,000 words this year, I know for a fact that I have only written 142,000 words this year, many of which are still unposted.
but! it certainly looks impressive, doesn't it.
I excluded said multi-year multi-chapter fics from the "most popular" category (which I sorted by kudos, so that it wasn't biased toward multi-chapter fic) and was frankly pretty surprised at the result.
blank version is here and I tag anyone who enjoys playing with statistics as much as I do
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finzphoenix · 2 months ago
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Such a nerd, ugh!! Irresistible gremlin ://
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ot3heaven · 2 years ago
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whatever this type of character is,
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i want twenty of them.
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bondagebimbo · 2 months ago
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ahollowgrave · 3 months ago
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a bit ago i told myself i wouldn't ship prudence and odette (idk why I guess I hate fun) but the truth is odette looooooooooooooooooooooooves a mean woman and prudence/odette feels like poking a bruise and i'm very into it !!!!
(also I think they look!!! so good together!!!) this is only in the WoL/Scion AU (and others) because 1) they have to be forced together to become anything they are not women who would willingly spend time with each other (at first)(But not in a like enemies to lovers kinda way you know??? they don't care enough to be enemies)(it's more like reluctant coworkers to ??????)
2) RP wise I always have more fun writing slow burn romances with other people than playing barbies on my own, but i have really been enjoying playing barbies on my own with these two.................
3) in RP Odette is dating Pru's boss and so Pru is like 'fuck this noise i'm out' she does not get close to her bosses lovers (except when she needs a ride thanks captain) and truly they just would not understand one another in this setting !!! (also pru is lowkey with ibant but if you say anything about this she will cause harm with great purpose)
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ninjagirlstar5 · 6 months ago
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So, uh, I might've gone a little crazy last week and came up with a Kanade Concept rewrite. (And made some redesigns of IRL!Kanade and IRL!Hibiki to reflect that.)
SO, for context, if you've been following me for awhile (or just came across some of my posts in the past), you'd know that my friend and I have been playing through SDRA2 for fun and it's around the end of Chapter 3 that I started making posts mentioning certain segments of our reactions, feelings, and some jokes. And to say we hated it would be an understatement. But I've had asks where I went on a rant about Chapter 3 more than once, so I won't repeat myself here. If anyone hasn't seen that, you can find it here, and here.
At this point, we're at Chapter 6 and during one of our after stream chats in VC, my friend, @bittersweetbeet, suddenly brought up an idea that could've tied Kanade (and thus Chapter 3) into the main plot and that was this:
"What if Kanade was blessed with Divine Luck from Utsuro like Void? Like, she wasn't in on the plan, but the reason why everything went south for her is because her luck was running out and got screwed over in the trial because of that, and was more than willing to die because she'd prefer that over losing her Fortune. It wouldn't fix Chapter 3, but at least it'd explain how she got away with all those damn murders for so long!"
I'm kinda paraphrasing here since I don't remember the exact wording due to this idea being brought up in the voice channel. But that was essentially what they said and it drove me NUTS at the time. After all, it's been brought up that Utsuro tended to bless a bunch of kids that were the same/similar age as him during his travels out of boredom, and while we don't know a lot about Kanade and Hibiki's parents to know for certain if they were bad and good (personally, I interpret them as decent people but tended to play favorites with Hibiki and accidentally neglecting Kanade, which only worsens their issues even when they try to bring them together), we DO know that Hibiki tends to bully Kanade a lot and that alone can make for a difficult childhood even when you have parents that care about you. So, with a bit of timeline adjusting, Kanade coming across Utsuro when she was, ahem, down on her luck, and getting blessed by him after she vents about her problems can make sense as this is something he's done for awhile now. And it should be noted that not every kid he blessed with Fortune had the same level of dire straits, as many had different levels of Fortune which faded away at different paces. It's why Void lasted for as long as they did since their situation was the worst of the worst so their Fortunes faded away much slower while others either succumbed to fates sooner or lost their fortunes and survived but couldn't handle being back in the same state they tried so desperately to escape from that they just...well, you know. Not every person that was blessed with Divine Luck was going to be a good person or, hell, some people can end up getting worse with the Fortunes they were blessed with instead of becoming better (like Mikado). And so, we started chatting ourselves up about this idea and I really wanted to share it here on Tumblr that I asked if it was alright if I shared it on my blog and they gave me the go ahead. I didn't share it right away, but I was thinking over how to word the post while I was at work. Which is when I realize there were...a few problems with this idea, unfortunately. Mainly this since I brought it up in our rambles channel in the Discord server to get my buddy's thoughts on it, so I'm just gonna copy and paste that:
"...I've been trying to figure out how to word the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and I kinda realized something: how would Kanade realize her luck is fading…when she's not a part of Void? Like, she's not in on the plan from the very start so she's been reverted to a [place] where she believes that she's fine and her luck is still running strong. And how that would be conveyed to the audience…
Like, I can believe Kanade could figure it out, even if I think how the writer LINUJ showed off her intelligence to be stupid, but I'm struggling [on] how to explain how she'd figure out that she ran out of luck? She'd be surprised that things have turned on her suddenly due to her state of being reverted back to a time where her luck is strong, but would she fully understand the context to the point that she'd rather die with her sister than lose what she already have?"
Like, I could've been overthinking on that. I could've had it so that a character comments that she was just hit with a wave of bad luck and Kanade goes, "Me? The most luckiest person ever? Never! (...unless-)" But I was really struggling to come up with an answer I was satisfied with at the time and even Bertie was like, "it's stuff like this that makes it so that the only option that would fix Chapter 3 is by rewriting the whole thing." Which is something I do agree with. This idea wasn't a complete fix to everything that's wrong with Chapter 3 anyways, especially when it comes to Kanade and how the writing on her character just sank it into the depths of hell. It was simply an explanation we both really liked.
And then Bertie went on to say, and I quote, "Tbh I think it would be more interesting if Kanade hated Hibiki deeply rather than love her. It’d be cliche probably but it’s better than the weird incest-like shit we have going on here" end quote.
And I started off with a normal response agreeing and elaborating on the idea, like so:
"HONESTLY, yeah. It's better to just scrap the whole chapter and rewrite it from the ground up.
And yeah, I do agree that anything that's different than what we got in Canon is probably much much better. Although I would still want to keep the nuances of Kanade and Hibiki's status as victims of each other's toxicity. Hibiki is constantly bullying Kanade due to seeing how good Kanade is at a lot of things and is jealous of that but still cares and loves her as a sister even though she sucks at appreciating Kanade for who she is. Meanwhile, Kanade still loves her sister and willingly goes along with her bullying, going as far as to try and be meek and shy to appeal to her sister's dominant but cowardly ways but deep down she resents her for keeping her from doing things she likes even though she does genuinely enjoy spending time with her and gets jealous whenever other people get close cause it means that Hibiki won't bother to spend time with her. She often drives them away one way or another so she can have Hibiki to herself, even when nothing changes because Hibiki is her sister and she just wants her to love her and spend time with her (but not in the gross incest way and we're taking away the whole crazy serial killer thing, she's just her own level of toxic)."
And that's when I started spiraling into an gigantic ramble that lasted nearly an hour and thirty minutes (minus a dinner break) because my brain was in a creative mood that night. Enjoy my copy and pasted ramble (I won't italicize all of this to make it easier on the eyes cause if you know me by now, my writing gets very long + a bit of editing to make it a little more coherent):
"I still like the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and being good at many skills because of it, and she's smart enough to realize that the boy she met long ago somehow changed her when she had openly vented to him about her problems the day they met (after giving him her umbrella to protect himself from the pouring rain, as she had ran away on a whim due to being fed up with her parents and her sister [at the time]). She's very grateful for what he's done for her, believing that the skills she now has can bring herself closer to Hibiki by being useful to her."
"But here's the catcher: her blessing doesn't work in the way she had hoped. Because surprise! Divine Luck has it's own set of rules despite being able to break reality as long as the chances aren't zero. Basically, Divine Luck can make you better at anything, get you anything, without having to go through the process of improving or skipping the steps that are needed to get the result, simply jumping to the result itself. However, out of everything it can change, from skills to getting someone shelter to just winning any kind of luck-based event, it cannot change a person's heart. And Kanade, despite having the skills that are "supposed" to bring her closer to her sister, only makes Hibiki even more jealous and she continues to bully her, going as far as to push her workload onto her now that she's so "good" at everything and proclaiming that she's just as good, if not better. Her blessing got her what she wanted but not what she needed in her case, unlike with the rest of Void, and she ends up paralleling Mikado as despite being blessed with Divine Luck, it did not make them better or improve their situation due to their own choices/how they used their blessing (Mikado because he constantly pursued Utsuro to the point committing crime after crime, Kanade because instead of standing up for herself and establishing her boundaries, she continued to support her sister no matter what, something that only ends up building the resentment in her heart). That's not to say that Hibiki isn't instigating most of the abuse, she is. But Kanade isn't making things better as she uses her skills to make herself seem like the better option in comparison to the people Hibiki wants to hang out with and get to know, even going as far as to scare them away to isolate Hibiki so she doesn't even have any options to choose from."
"And then, Chapter 3 rolls around and Hibiki starts to change, trying to be supportive of the group and take charge to help everyone get through the killing game. It…surprises Kanade, but she watches her sister change and grow, becoming more confident, cheerful, kinder…
…And she realizes that she hates it.
She hates the thought of her sister changing. She hates the thought of her being kinder after everything she's done to her. She hates the thought of Hibiki growing closer to these people, becoming attached and happy without her, Kanade, her own sister.
She hates the thought of being left alone again. She hates the thought that Hibiki is going to leave her again.
She hates it, she hates it, she hates it.
She hates her.
But she loves her.
She wants her to be with her, forever.
So why won't she ever look her way?
Why, why, why?
Kanade is spiraling in her head, trying to keep up her shy, sweet side up but gritting her teeth the whole time as she watches. Even when Hibiki is being kinder to her, still making her usual jokes about her but is actually trying to prop her sister up a bit more, it's only because Sora and Setsuka had suggested her to be kinder, not because she wants to. At least, that's what Kanade thinks. She doesn't want to believe her sister is changing for the better, that she's able to change at all, that she's going to leave her behind for other people again.
And when Setsuka tries to reach out to her on the third day…Kanade finally snaps.
She tears into Setsuka, accusing her of stealing her sister away from her, for giving her ideas to be better when she can't, she should never be better than she already is because if she is, she'll just abandon her and leave her all alone. Her stupid, cowardly sister can't ever hope to be on her own, she always has to rely on her, HER, not anyone else…and definitely not SETSUKA!
And before Kanade knew it, she lunges at Setsuka.
The scuffle was short…but the result was predictable."
"To elaborate a little bit more on Setsuka, she's was still pretty distant from the group as she was focused on doing what she needs for Nikei and stuff. But after Hibiki starts to break down a little and reaches out to Setsuka for help, she commits herself to stabilizing the group once more, supporting Hibiki and telling her and everyone else that she has something to tell them. But Kanade, watching this entire scene, only starts to become even more on edge as Hibiki, once again, reaches out to someone else instead of her. Despite trying to "change," Hibiki had so easily broken down once more, crying and begging for help, relying on another person for support and to "fix" everything for her. And that convinces Kanade that Hibiki can't change, she won't EVER change, and she bitterly goes to bed. But Setsuka notices Kanade's displeasure and, not knowing why she's unhappy, decides to take matters into her own hands and have a one-on-one talk with her to see if she [can] help. Unfortunately, this decision backfires on her hard, resulting in her own death.
Now, unlike in canon, Kanade panics as this was the first time she's EVER committed a murder before. Sure, she's harassed, blackmailed, and even threatened people that tried to get close to Hibiki before with violence, people that would only take her away from her. But she didn't…she never…she didn't mean to do this! But, no, Setsuka…No, no. Why should she regret this? Why should she apologize?
Setsuka was getting in the way. Setsuka was going steal her sister away.
And Hibki was still the same as she ever was. Not being "better," not ever "changing." She was still Hibiki, the bully, the sister, the bratty, snappy, fussy older sister that demands respect despite her cowardly, weak self. A sister that Kanade deeply loves…and hates."
"But she won't let her die her. She'll escape with her, a certain "ritual" should allow her to escape with her as it's an option for the blackened on the third island according to Monocrow. If she goes through with that, she can escape with her sister…and make sure she'll never change again.
But if she loses…then she'll die. She'll die…
…and she'll take Hibiki with her. For she doesn't deserve to live without her.
Kanade goes through with the ritual as fast as she could, relying on her skills (and thus her luck) to succeed in framing Hibiki and nearly gets away with it.
But, unbeknownst to her due to her current memories, Kanade's luck has been dwindling and since her situation wasn't as dire as Void's, hers has been fading away far faster than them. And ends up making a few mistakes that seem innocent enough until it all starts to pile up, with one last conclusive evidence fucking her over and revealing her to be the true culprit.
Kanade is seething when she's caught, her ego bruised and lamenting how the hell she lost, with Syobai dryly stating that her luck has run out. Kanade laughs, saying that can't be true. She's always been lucky! She's always been able to get things her way, even when she has no friends outside of Hibiki. This tips both Mikado and Nikei off that, hey, wait a minute, is she…? Of course, neither of them speak up on it due to keeping their own plans close to their chest. Everyone asks her why, why did she do it, with Hibiki grabbing her sister, begging her why she would do something like this, why would Kanade frame her of her best friend's death? A death that she caused?
And Kanade, after years of bottling up her own resentment…finally blows up at Hibiki."
"She tells her off for her bullying, of her neglecting to pay attention or spend any time with her unless she wanted something from her, and pushing all the things she doesn't want to do onto her. She proclaims that she had ALWAYS hated everything she's done to Kanade, wishing she could've done anything else, wishing that, for once in their goddamn lives, that they did something she wanted to do, not because Hibiki had chosen it. All Kanade had ever wanted was her love and affection, but she never appreciated her or all the things she's done for her. [She even went] as far to change herself to try and appeal to her sister and her wants and needs. And yet…despite everything, she still loves her. She loves the times when they would dress up together. She loves the times when they would perform together. She loves it when Hibiki actually cares for her. She loves her, because she's her sister…
And because Setsuka was getting in the way of that, she had to get rid of her. Just like everyone else…!
Everyone freezes when Kanade admits that out loud. She pauses when she realized what she said, but instead of apologizing [or even denying it], she doubles down. She admits that she drove away their childhood friend, she admits to spreading false rumors about their teacher and getting him fired, she admits to falsifying a hurtful rejection to a guy Hibiki was getting close to and pretended to be her so that she can ruin their chances of getting together when he finally confessed, she harrassed, blackmailed, threatened people that got close…and Setsuka was just another person on a long list of those that got in the way. She just…didn't mean to kill her. It just…happened. But Kanade…doesn't care about that. She doesn't care about anything anymore. It's apparent that her luck ran out…and now she's going to die.
But she's not dying alone. She refuses to die alone.
[After all, they're] sisters, right…? It's only right that they stay together till the bitter end, right?"
"Hibiki tries to back away, but Kanade grabs her just as Monocrow drags her into her execution, bringing her with them."
"The execution goes almost exactly the same but Kanade is doing her damndest to make sure Hibiki dies with her, with Hibiki trying to escape. And it seems like it was going to happen…until Hibiki beats the hell out of her with a microphone, crying and wailing for all the people Kanade had hurt in her name, demanding why, why, why. Kanade can only answer this:
"It was ALL for you. You and you alone."'
"Hibiki drops the microphone, backing away from the sister that was so possessive of her, in her hatred and love.
And then she runs away, leaving Kanade all alone.
Monocrow doesn't stop her, for this execution was only made for Kanade…and seeing her despair as she finally loses the one thing she had tried so hard to grasp onto slip away from her was enough for him to pull the lever, the platform underneath Kanade falling and killing her.
By the time Hibiki has made it back to the trial grounds, her gait is slow and unsteady, hugging herself as she stares down at her feet, processing what had just happened. What her sister had done. What she had done to everyone she knew. What she had done to Setsuka and Hibiki herself.
Why she had done it.
She had done it for her.
She had done it to keep Hibiki to herself.
She had done it because she both loved and hated Hibiki.
And the people that had been hurt because of Kanade…was because of her. Because of Hibiki. Because of all her bullying and her selfish wants, and because she didn't treat her like she should've treated her as a sister…! Because she's a horrible, awful person that hurt her own family until it was too late, her best friend dead, her sister, dead! All because of her…!!
Hibiki falls to her knees, going into dissociation as everything that she ever thought she knew and was normal shattered like glass."
"Hibiki, for the rest of the killing game, blames herself for what Kanade has done, but with Sora and co.'s help, she's able to rationalize that yes, what she did to Kanade was horrible and none of this may have happened if Hibiki had just bonded with her sister instead of bullying her…but Kanade had also made her own decisions, alienating Hibiki's friends and support from her to try and isolate her so she can try and force her to rely on her and her alone. Hibiki had done a lot of wrong that she probably can't ever make up now that Kanade is dead, but that doesn't excuse the awful actions Kanade has done either as many people were hurt from her own actions, one even losing his job and others probably traumatized from what she did to them. They were both toxic to each other and so long as neither of them were changing, that cycle was only going to continue until something broke between them…and this just so happened to be it. It's just horrible that it also ended in Setsuka's death alongside Kanade's, who was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator."
"As for the reveal in Chapter 6, I was thinking of two options for Hibiki and Kanade's relationship:
The two of them, despite years [of] staying together as sisters and as a part of Melody Rhythm, only ended up falling apart as their toxicity turned their head as one of Kanade's past victims, their childhood friend, decides to finally come out and reveal everything Kanade has done to her and other people, even providing evidence of what she did. And the moment Hibiki found out about it, a public argument breaks out between them and Kanade finally spills out everything about her feelings on Hibiki, which only hurts both of them as Kanade had tried so hard to isolate Hibiki from other people while Hibiki had only hurt and bully her sister out of jealousy for years. But this? This was enough for Hibiki to stand up and go, "We're done here." And she leaves, cutting ties with Kanade for the shit she's done to others but also left reeling at the revelation of what her bullying and abuse had done to her sister. Was this…her fault? She wasn't sure. But she knew [she] had to make things right somehow, even if it's only for herself, reflecting on her behavior and reaching out to those that were hurt by Kanade, apologizing for everything that had happened even though it wasn't her fault that she chose to do the things she did and tried to make it up to them…if they want her, at least. [Meanwhile,] Kanade is PISSED that her sister left her, who went as far as to block her from her phone and even ending their contract as Melody Rhythm as she's left to deal with the fallout of the media bashing her for what she's done…but as time went on, Kanade is able to pick up the pieces and strikes out on her own, telling herself that she doesn't need Hibiki or the people that criticizes her for what she's done. She can do this by herself! She never openly apologizes, but she never says outright that she's happy with how things had turned out either, despite getting her career back on track…eventually."
"And then the Tragedy happens, they lose their parents, and one of two things happen.
Either 1.) the Tragedy brings them back together, with them starting off very reluctantly working together to do charities to help those in need, only to slowly and carefully rebuild their relationship while trying very hard not to fall back into bad habits as Hibiki admits that yeah, she's done a lot of horrible things to Kanade and she IS sorry for that…but she won't let Kanade hurt anyone anymore. She's trying very hard to be patient with her sister, as they know the Tragedy is a horrible thing to go through, they even lost their parents from it…but if they want to make things work, then something has to change between them, even if Hibiki is the only one taking the initiative FOR the change. Kanade is very reluctant to admit that she was EVER in the wrong for what she did…but as they continue work and bicker over the concerts they put together, their different ideas colliding but somehow coming together with the help of their coordinator, they start to…actually bond again. They start to talk things out, Hibiki is actually trying to show interest in her hobbies and the things she likes, and while she can never bring herself to like the same things she does, she's trying to be respectful and give her the time of day this time. She's trying to make things right for her, so long as Kanade never does the things she did again. And while Kanade doesn't like the same things Hibiki does, it's still a bond Hibiki is trying to nurture…and it makes Kanade question if what she did was ever necessary, that if she had just stood her ground, let Hibiki form her own relationships while searching for her own friends that she can rely [on] like the ones she had now…then maybe none of this would have happen. Maybe they could've remain as sisters, forever, if she just accepted their differences and tried to break away and do her own thing, while letting Hibiki grow as a person [as I think if Hibiki was allowed to bond with other people, she would've grew out of her bullying and become a better person, but because she never had the chance or had people that would stand up to her and let her experience the consequences of her own actions, she never grew out of that mindset as she was never put in her place before]…
[And then the killing game happens, reverts them back to their teenage selves, and they start their toxic cycle all over again until one of them literally kills and gets executed for it.]"
"Or 2.), Kanade and Hibiki remain separate, as not even the Tragedy and the death of their own parents can bring them together. Their parents funeral, one they tried to arrange anyways, only escalates into another argument, with Hibiki changing as a person…but Kanade did not. She still feels entitled to be Hibiki's one and only sister, her one and only support, and Hibiki recognizes that, deciding that it was safer that they stay separated as she NEVER wants to risk anyone else she loves coming to harm thanks to Kanade. The two part ways, with the both of them doing their own separate charity events, with Hibiki proclaiming that Kanade Otonokoji is not her sister, [not anymore], while Kanade proclaims that Hibiki Otonokoji will always be her sister, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that she had been disowned and will continue to be disowned for the rest of their lives."
"Either way, Hibiki is depressed to realize that their future together was never forever, and Hibiki had lost her sister…one way or another."
And that's it! That's the concept rewrite, plus the sprite edits since Kanade and Hibiki are no longer together as sisters and as a band outside of the Neo World Program, so their appearances reflect on that as they pursue their own solo careers. They're no longer trying to match each other, and Kanade pursues her own rock and metal music.
Oh, and while I was copying and pasting this, I had an idea that Kanade's relationship with Sora could be interesting as she's the only one that Kanade is actually okay with getting close to Hibiki...because Sora shows interests in both of them in their FTEs. She talks to Hibiki in private about her treatment of Kanade and even asked Kanade herself if she was okay as she genuinely cares about her just as much as she cares about Hibiki. This surprises Kanade as no one has ever bothered to look her way before, they always pay more attention to Hibiki than herself. And Sora makes it clear that she's genuine about this, asking her if there's anything she can do to make things better for Kanade when Hibiki is defensive about her actions. It makes Kanade feel...seen, for once in her life, and she actually likes that. So she allows Sora to get close, so long as she promises to continue being her friend, too. It's why Sora succeeds in befriending both twins while Setsuka ended up getting rejected by Kanade in the worse possible way: Setsuka unintentionally added to Kanade's insecurities by focusing mostly on Hibiki and overlooked Kanade's needs as well. She's not doing this out of ill-will, far from it. It's just that she recognized that Hibiki is a little weaker in her mental strength and her breakdowns were far easier to notice while Kanade was able to keep a cool head most of the time. So Setsuka prioritizes on supporting Hibiki first and foremost, thinking that Kanade can handle herself fine on her own. She's not completely wrong...but she's not right, either. By the time she finally notices that Kanade is hurting and reaches out to support her, it's already too late as she's finally reached her breaking point and snapped, which resulted in her own death. Just a little something to tie this whole thing off.
#SDRA2#Kanade Otonokoji#Hibiki Otonokoji#Super Danganronpa Another 2#SDRA2 Spoilers#sprite edit#Star's Art#look I won't pretend that people like canon!Kanade can't exist - me and my friend both know that#the problem is what's the POINT in making Kanade into a serial killer that's turning her sister into a puppet that it serves the narrative?#Is it meant to be foreshadowing and how that's exactly what's happening to Yuki - so he can be broken down and be replaced with Utsuro?#if so then it's not done very well since it's barely touched upon - let alone never ever called back to it ONCE - to be proper foreshadowin#And it even costed a character her own development for the sake of a twist that's nothing more than shock value - losing what could've been#-a really good character/concept in the process#and the reason why Hibiki's arc up to that point was so effective was BECAUSE she's done bad things and mistreated her sister so often#it gave us a reason to see her grow as a person because she's immature and flawed. this arc would have not worked if Hibiki was softer-#-or kinder at the start. And we just...lost that before it could develop even further.#so my approach was basically take out all the serial killer BS (and heavily implied incest) and tone down a fuck ton of Kanade's actions#She's still a toxic person but has been hiding her awful behavior for years in an attempt to keep her sister tied down to her#and just not excusing any of Hibiki's past actions or Kanade's own actions either
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remyfire · 2 years ago
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In old roleplaying circles, I used to have people get really angry at me because they found a lot of catharsis in taking their characters those agonizing angst without necessarily giving them an end point of healing whereas my characters would always try to prompt that moment of healing—would be an end point they could come to whenever they were ready, would love them through the pain instead of drive it higher—and I don't think I've really changed at all in that regard, and I hope that ends up being all right.
#this is a complicated way to say that i'm having my chai and meditating on some of the more popular headcanons i saw#when i first got here and part of it was just the circle of blogs i saw initially when i created mine#because they all had a similar sense of characterization for the blorbos and were reluctant to let anything else in#and i totally get that btw because i LOVE seeing varied interpretations and i will happily play in every sandbox#but i'm thinking specifically about the fanon about beej HAVING to leave his home after everything because he tries to fit back in the box#and he can't#and the agony and misery therein like having built an entire life on a literal lie and choosing to jettison it for his own good#and how i have inadvertently built a home life for him that he will return to incredibly changed but will be welcomed into nonetheless#i think about how loose and utterly queer he becomes in korea down to his gestures his clothes his grooming choices#and how yes he DOES remove all of those when he gets home#(my gnc hawk doing much the same i should say)#but replacing the agony of having to leave what no longer serves you with the joy of someone saying 'then let's change together'#and the knowledge that it won't be easy and you need SO much therapy#but that the old and the new can come together in a very intentional and loving and wonderful way#so the mustache comes back and the colors and the loose limbs and the lighter speaking cadence and he feels so fucking good again#and he's loved so thoroughly by all three of the most important aspects of his life for CHOOSING to be authentic#(just like hawk)#and i know a lot of this is me needing to write it because i almost lost my marriage because my wife was so scared of how she changed#that she was projecting onto me all of these thoughts of how she was SURE i'd react and she tried to cut and run early#and how when i wrapped her up in all that love and desire to come along on this new journey and see what happens#that she was overcome and truly didn't believe it was real#but also i do get sad at the tendency to be like 'everyone changed and they can never go back'#when i want to be like 'yes but they can always go forward and they don't have to lose everything they loved to do it'#and i just hope people wanna come on that journey with me#my ramblings
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rosecrowned · 1 year ago
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saddest thing is I really do think it's plausible that cersei will kill marg in the books. it might not go down like how it did in the show but I think cersei making this happen will be the point of no return for her.
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morkaischosen · 2 years ago
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last night's realisation the first: oh right I have a very metaphorical relationship to my self-image, and that does extend to quite a lot of moment-to-moment behaviour being mediated through those metaphors.
last night's realisation the second: wait a minute, my core set of metaphors isn't just Machine and Lioness, that's also how I relate to Coronabeth Type Popular Girl. Huh.
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luulapants · 1 month ago
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25 ways to be a little more punk in 2025
Cut fast fashion - buy used, learn to mend and/or make your own clothes, buy fewer clothes less often so you can save up for ethically made quality
Cancel subscriptions - relearn how to pirate media, spend $10/month buying a digital album from a small artist instead of on Spotify, stream on free services since the paid ones make you watch ads anyway
Green your community - there's lots of ways to do this, like seedbombing or joining a community garden or organizing neighborhood trash pickups
Be kind - stop to give directions, check on stopped cars, smile at kids, let people cut you in line, offer to get stuff off the high shelf, hold the door, ask people if they're okay
Intervene - learn bystander intervention techniques and be prepared to use them, even if it feels awkward
Get closer to your food - grow it yourself, can and preserve it, buy from a farmstand, learn where it's from, go fishing, make it from scratch, learn a new ingredient
Use opensource software - try LibreOffice, try Reaper, learn Linux, use a free Photoshop clone. The next time an app tries to force you to pay, look to see if there's an opensource alternative
Make less trash - start a compost, be mindful of packaging, find another use for that plastic, make it a challenge for yourself!
Get involved in local politics - show up at meetings for city council, the zoning commission, the park district, school boards; fight the NIMBYs that always show up and force them to focus on the things impacting the most vulnerable folks in your community
DIY > fashion - shake off the obsession with pristine presentation that you've been taught! Cut your own hair, use homemade cosmetics, exchange mani/pedis with friends, make your own jewelry, duct tape those broken headphones!
Ditch Google - Chromium browsers (which is almost all of them) are now bloated spyware, and Google search sucks now, so why not finally make the jump to Firefox and another search like DuckDuckGo? Or put the Wikipedia app on your phone and look things up there?
Forage - learn about local edible plants and how to safely and sustainably harvest them or go find fruit trees and such accessible to the public.
Volunteer - every week tutoring at the library or once a month at the humane society or twice a year serving food at the soup kitchen, you can find something that matches your availability
Help your neighbors - which means you have to meet them first and find out how you can help (including your unhoused neighbors), like elderly or disabled folks that might need help with yardwork or who that escape artist dog belongs to or whether the police have been hassling people sleeping rough
Fix stuff - the next time something breaks (a small appliance, an electronic, a piece of furniture, etc.), see if you can figure out what's wrong with it, if there are tutorials on fixing it, or if you can order a replacement part from the manufacturer instead of trashing the whole thing
Mix up your transit - find out what's walkable, try biking instead of driving, try public transit and complain to the city if it sucks, take a train instead of a plane, start a carpool at work
Engage in the arts - go see a local play, check out an art gallery or a small museum, buy art from the farmer's market
Go to the library - to check out a book or a movie or a CD, to use the computers or the printer, to find out if they have other weird rentals like a seed library or luggage, to use meeting space, to file your taxes, to take a class, to ask question
Listen local - see what's happening at local music venues or other events where local musicians will be performing, stop for buskers, find a favorite artist, and support them
Buy local - it's less convenient than online shopping or going to a big box store that sells everything, but try buying what you can from small local shops in your area
Become unmarketable - there are a lot of ways you can disrupt your online marketing surveillance, including buying less, using decoy emails, deleting or removing permissions from apps that spy on you, checking your privacy settings, not clicking advertising links, and...
Use cash - go to the bank and take out cash instead of using your credit card or e-payment for everything! It's better on small businesses and it's untraceable
Give what you can - as capitalism churns on, normal shmucks have less and less, so think about what you can give (time, money, skills, space, stuff) and how it will make the most impact
Talk about wages - with your coworkers, with your friends, while unionizing! Stop thinking about wages as a measure of your worth and talk about whether or not the bosses are paying fairly for the labor they receive
Think about wealthflow - there are a thousand little mechanisms that corporations and billionaires use to capture wealth from the lower class: fees for transactions, interest, vendor platforms, subscriptions, and more. Start thinking about where your money goes, how and where it's getting captured and removed from our class, and where you have the ability to cut off the flow and pass cash directly to your fellow working class people
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orconstruccionllc1 · 18 days ago
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fizzstix · 2 months ago
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grrrr white knuckle grip head in hands . im learning to be patient and im learning to be considerate and im learning to approach community after a long ass period of avoidance and feeling screwed over by everyone and im trying to be forgiving of myself and others and recover and get on my own two feet and it is Going to be hard but i have to try for the sake of myself and those closest to me and for the sake of living a life that reflects my own values and boundaries as a human being. deep exhale .
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gotta-bail-my-quails · 4 months ago
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i dont like taking surveys usually but if it lets me give some scathing remarks to my shitty landlords then boy give me enough space for a fucking novel i WILL tell them to get their heads out of their asses
#you get 1.4 million in rent EVERY MONTH for this shit??#i swear there is an entire ant colony under my floorboards and like fifty spiders hanging around waiting to feast on them#i had to treat the place MYSELF#also why is the laundry room so fucking disgusting like ik its college students but what the fuck#just a WALL of lint in the lint catcher cover thing#and they all have like. brown dirt covering them and sand#and the place couldnt clean that shit up BEFORE we moved in??#the last place was cleaner at least even if they decided to replace all the laundry machines RIGHT AFTER THE SCHOOL YEAR STARTED#INSTEAD OF DOING IT DURING THE SUMMER WHEN NOBODY IS THERE#also the food situation is shit because why the hell is nothing really labelled#youve got one fridge with some like. gluten free cookies i guess#you (maybe) label whats vegan and gluten or dairy free on the online menu (not the physical labels??)#you only JUST started even labelling what your fucking desserts are#im not sure i trust your stale ass cereal let alone the ice cream machine#is it a good idea to have a self serve smoothie bar? probably fucking not but hey at least you tried to be cool#the music playing is obnoxious though#also just straight up dont reinforce quiet hours. in fact why not break them yourself. shitbags#hell knows no hatred like that of a person who has to deal with college students#also i can almost guarantee im one of the youngest here#i am so tired of being the responsible one. i am so so tired#this isnt about my landlord anymore#genuine-fucking-ly why do you all wear shoes in the house and why do you put said shoes on the table we put food on and why did you leave#your nasty little crumbs all over the couch and floor last night and why dont you clean your hair off the sink after brushing and why dont#you wash your dishes or at least rinse the food off instead of leaving them by the shared sink for days#and why dont you stop coming home stinking of weed and watching tiktoks loud as hell and closing doors like you are slamming them#and why dont you fucking communicate your problems to my goddam face and why dont you tell us before you start a fucking hair business#in the living room???#and why has nobody though to clean the gotdam microwave. why have your meatball bits been in there for like. 3 weeks#'just tell them if you have a problem with it' WHO LEAVES MEAT BITS IN THE MICROWAVE AFTER SPILLING IT???#i wouldnt have a problem if you had some common fucking sense
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writersdrug · 5 months ago
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Bartender!Ghost x Waitress!Reader Masterlist
Ghost Masterlist
Summary: You need some extra cash for rent, and you're sick of sitting at home, staring at a computer all day. You hear pub a few blocks away from your flat is looking for a server. Can't be hard, right? Well... the serving part isn't hard. But the brooding bartender that suddenly enters your life is - in more ways than one.
Warnings: cursing, misogynistic/degrading behavior towards reader (not from tf141), NSFW, humiliation, pining, masturbation, jealousy, slow burn
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Check out this amazing art by blobbysblog!!!
Storyline:
pilot
interview
day one
simon's jealousy starts
hurricane shot
customer yells at you
simon gets hit on
you meet BarOwner!Price
you ask simon to take the mean customers
mitch says something he shouldn't
simon makes you cry
you both apologize after you avoid him for two days
you suggest a promotional drink for Halloween
price gets you a stepstool
price makes simon work for what he wants
you spill drinks on your shirt
simon lets some stress out
simon finds you crying in the walk-in
you and simon kiss in the stairwell
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Headcannons:
the vision
pub dynamics
flirting pt 1
"DOOR!!"
flirting pt 2
when customers leave you their numbers
kyle and johnny
plans for the au
replacing simon's tools with pink ones
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ghostsprincess · 4 months ago
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I can't stop thinking about Ghost being a better boyfriend than your ex, even without establishing that title....
This is a continuation of part one.
warning: mention domestic abuse
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Simon was there every night you worked. You never gave him your schedule, but he'd show up and settle onto one of the stools like clockwork. Soap often joined him, and while they carried on like always, you knew Simon's gaze lingered on your body. You could practically feel the weight as you took drink orders and pulled pints. It wasn't unwelcome. In fact, it made everything easier knowing you weren't alone if your ex dared show his face.
When your shifts ended, Simon would walk you back to your new place. The one time you insisted he didn't need to do that, he grunted and said, "What if I want to?"
You didn't mention it again. Instead you got into a routine of giving him a fifteen minute warning when your shift was going to end, and you'd head out into the cold night with him at your side. He was mostly quiet while you chatted about whatever was on your mind. When you'd ask him about himself, he'd reroute the conversation back to you. Then he would wait while you unlocked your door and stepped inside.
You always had the urge to invite him in, but you were taking up so much of his time already. And what would you do with him anyway? This hulking military man with kind eyes? 
You thanked him and gave him a little wave before ducking inside, and you knew he always waited until he heard the sound of your door locking before he left. 
"Y' alright, love?" he asked one night when you were starting to feel particularly good about yourself again. Your split lip had healed which required less makeup. You felt stronger for having left your ex in the dust. You were wearing a new top that made you feel sexy.
"Yeah. I'm alright, Simon. I feel really good, actually."
You served him a drink and refused to let him pay. You really ought to make him stop tipping you at this rate. He was doing so much for you and getting nothing in return. He was doing all of the boyfriend duties just as he had promised, but he never so much as touched you other than the occasional hand hold.
What if you wanted more?
He broke into your thoughts as he said, "I can tell. Ya' been smiling more. Almost ready to go?"
Tonight you felt like you were floating along the dirty sidewalk with your hand tucked in Simon's massive paw. He was keeping you warm without doing anything, and he listened to your nervous rambling as you tried your best to work up your courage. But the two of you reached your front door all too quickly.
"Get inside," he said, voice deep and tender in spite of the command. "An' lock up."
When he started to pull his hand away, you didn't let him. And you didn't budge when one of his eyebrows inched higher. "Not quite yet," you whispered, toe tapping the cement step you were standing on which put you slightly closer to him in height. "I have to tell you something."
Simon's lips pressed together in a tight line, and his chin dipped in a slight nod. "I need to tell ya' something, too. Just don't want to."
"What?" you asked immediately, the lightness you'd been feeling instantly replaced with a lead brick inside you.
"I'm leaving. Late tomorrow night. Not until after I make sure ya' get home from the pub."
"Leaving?" you whispered, heart pounding faster. He was in the military. Some sort of special mission involvement. You knew that much. And you could read between the lines to know that someone who looked and behaved like he did was probably about to risk his life, not for the first time. "Simon, where are you going?" you asked with tears in your eyes even though you figured he wouldn't be able to tell you.
Simon shook his head, his lips curling into a soft smile. It was a rare sight, and it made you dizzy. "Pretty little thing like you shouldn't be worried 'bout me." You wanted to tell him you would be. You'd worry nonstop until you saw him again. You'd come to rely on him, but mostly you liked how you felt when he was around. "There'll be someone to walk ya' home from work every night. I can promise that."
You wanted to lean in and kiss him, but instead you threw your arms around his neck. He was so solid and warm, and the scrape of his facial hair on your cheek was somehow comforting. "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?" you asked, voice breaking on a sob.
"I'll see ya' tomorrow, love."
He didn't move an inch as you extracted yourself, and the sound of his receding footsteps could only be heard once you'd locked yourself inside.
💀
Part three
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heavenbarnes · 9 months ago
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in an alternate universe, you meet older bf!simon through a friend- well, a friend’s brother.
your friend’s brother, johnny. he overhears you whinging to his sister about how fucking hard it is to find a place to live. so he tells you about this guy he serves with.
‘L.t’ he calls him.
since he and L.t are on deployment so often, there’s a tidy re-purposed council flat that’s often empty. johnny says he’ll chat L.t about your predicament and see what he thinks.
L.t allows you to live in his home- problem is he’s leaving on deployment literally tomorrow so you have to exchange agreements by text.
you’ve got money going into his account, some basic agreements about no parties, no partners, no smoking, and no mucking about.
L.t gives the key to johnny, who gives it to his sister, who gives it to you- opening the door to an almost pristine little home. not a thing out of place.
military precision.
so you move in and you’re shocked to find more than a flat pillow and plaid duvet cover. there’s 3-in-1 in the shower but easily replaced with your own products.
the pantry and fridge are bare but soon filled with your favourites. your undies are drying over the dining chairs and your blanket is draped across the couch.
you’ve got your own profile on the netflix and your toothbrush is in the holder. you’ve done what you were told.
“make yourself at home”
so much so that you almost forget deployment will end at some point, hard to remember when you don’t even have the faintest idea when that’ll be.
johnny said it could be weeks, maybe months. he didn’t tell you that it could be at any moment.
you think you hear the door in the deep of your sleep but your brain reassures you it’s in the back of your dream- you don’t even wake.
it’s actually the weight dropping beside you on the mattress and shuffling up to your back that gets you. it’s a miracle you don’t scream.
L.t lands a rough hand on your back, something about “calm down, s’only me”
only him? he who’s name you don’t even know?
as if he can read your mind, he’s following up with a grumbled “simon”
simon ‘sans-last name.’
before his breathing begins to even out.
your heart is beating out your chest- perfect stranger climbing into bed with you?
the voice in your head that always wants you to be polite reminds you that this is actually his house, after all.
he was also kind enough to let you stay, charging a rent way below going rate.
he had just been away serving this country, duty to protect and all.
and johnny knows him, vouched for him- sure johnny can be a bit of a perv but he’s harmless.
simon must be too, right?
you decide to settle back under the duvet, telling yourself it’s you that’s being weird. you need to be more grateful!
mans tired, if he wasn’t absolutely shattered he would’ve taken the couch.
right?
you’re almost entirely convinced until you feel a strong arm loop around your waist, pulling you back into something unbelievably hard.
harmless.
right.
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