#but let me tell you I was shocked to see his name too like Mathew Lillard makes sense | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

typical-simplelove · 4 years ago

Text

Bragger (M. Barzal)

A/n: This is based of Kelsea Ballerini’s Bragger and a very self-indulgent fic. Enjoy!!

Warnings: Brief mentions of sex

Word Count: 5.3k (including song lyrics)

Italics are flashbacks

��So, Yn, tell us all about Mathew. What’s he like?” Candace, your maid of honor, asks.

You look at her puzzled. “What do you mean ‘what’s he like’?”

You were sitting at your bachelorette party; you didn’t want anything too big, so you decided on brunch with some of your friends, bridal party, and the WAGs.

“I mean, tell us all about him. How happy he makes you, how he drives you crazy but in the good way. Just brag about your fiance. Today is about you so whatever you want to share.

You smile just thinking about Mathew. Yeah, you could talk about him for days. His smile. The way his hair curls over his forehead. His arms. Dear Lord, don’t get started on his arms. You were about to start but remembered Liana, Mathew’s sister, was sitting with you as well. You didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. You also didn’t really want to brag about your relationship.

“Liana, are you okay with this? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” you say. You and Liana have grown quite close during your relationship with Mathew and especially close after the proposal.

Liana just smiles. “Go ahead, bride-to-be. It is your bachelorette party. You go talk about the man you love.”

“Well, then. What do you want to know?” You say with a smirk on your face.

He's got the look, he's got the touch He's got the eyes that make me crush And he's not one to make a scene But he deserves the spotlight He ain't from 'round this side of town But he fits in to every crowd And he knows how to do my body and my heart right

Mathew Barzal. Where do you even begin? The start? The first time you kissed? The way he walks around your apartment without a shirt on because (a) he refuses to do so and (b) knows it gets you going? The beautiful eyes that make you want to melt the minute you look into them? Just the fact that he knows exactly what to do to make you weak in your knees? The fact that Mathew knows exactly what to do to make the heat rush to your face and make you flustered? The list goes on and on.

“Tell us about something he does that annoys you but you secretly love,” Tessa, your high school best friend, says. She knows exactly what you’re going to say. You have spilled this to her multiple times. However, the fact that she’s asking makes your heart grow warm, best friends forever, right?

You pretend to ruminate over what to say. You, once again, look at Liana for reassurance. You doubt she wants to hear about her brother walking around half-naked. She nods and signals you to continue. You take a deep breath; you never did like talking about yourself. “Um, well, he walks around our apartment without a shirt on all the time. Not even in the mornings after we wake up. He just refuses to ever wear a shirt.”

Some of the girls sigh. Grace, Anders’ wife, and Sydney, Matt’s wife, look at you with understanding. Hockey players really hate wearing shirts and love showing off their chests. Grace and Sydney know exactly what you’re talking about.

“He claims it’s because he knows he can get a rouse out of me, which he can, but it’s also because I don’t think he likes to wear a shirt.”

“Mathew is very proud of the way he looks,” Liana adds and you smile knowing that she knows what Mathew is like. “When he used to come home before dating you, mom had to remind him to put on a shirt.”

You laugh. “I try to tell him to put on a shirt but he always just,” you pause reminiscing the memory. “He’ll just,” you feel the rush of heat to your cheeks as you try to put the words together.

“Even without Mathew here, he’s got you flustered,” Grace says with a warm smile. She loves seeing two young people hopelessly in love.

You shake your head playfully but put on a large smile. “He’ll do this thing with his face and then kiss me in a way that knocks out my breath, and I just forget about him putting on a shirt.”

“He just gets away with not wearing a shirt? He just kisses you and that’s it?” one of your bridesmaids questions. She smirks. “My husband has to do more than just kiss me for me to forget he’s walking around without a shirt.”

“Well, no wonder you’re pregnant,” you playfully retort. She knows you’re joking, and she smiles back at you.

“You’ve got me there, ynn.” The group erupts into laughter.

“Well, then, if we’re on the topic of kissing. I’m not going to ask what happens behind the doors for your own privacy. But, what’s it like kissing Mathew?” Lila, another bridesmaid, asks.

You melt at the thought of kissing Mathew. A wide smile erupts across your face.

“Clearly he kisses tremendously well,” Liana says, and her response shocks you.

You look at her and glare at her playfully.

“I’m just making an observation. Just the thought of kissing my brother puts a giant smile on your face.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong there. I’m not sure if this is going to make sense but just here me out. When he kisses me, I never doubt he loves me. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small peck, a passionate kiss, or we’re making out. Sorry, Liana. There’s always love, and it’s almost as if it’s overflowing.”

“Oh, to be young and in love,” someone comments and everyone laughs.

“We do this thing where, assuming he’s not on a road trip, we always kiss each other good night, even if we’re angry. Yeah, I know the marriage advice. Don’t go to bed angry. Blah blah. Okay. But still. We’ll be angry and have yet to resolve the fight and just go to bed. We kiss each other goodnight angrily but the love is still there. I don’t doubt it. The way his lips linger on mine, and the gentleness despite being angry is there. I always go to bed knowing that we can sort out whatever problem we are having at the moment.”

“You guys are literally what I strive to have in a relationship,” Candace says. She wiggles her eyebrows as she says the next thing. “Any more kissing stories? Maybe some not so clean?”

You were taking a sip of your mimosa, and you choked on it. The heat immediately rushes to your face, and you know exactly what she wants. Just thinking about Mathew’s lips on anywhere else other than your lips has you turning to putty. You have to put down your glass for fears of dropping it and spilling it. These were nice glasses. You had them made that says ‘I Do Crew’, and you didn’t want to break them. Your reaction has everyone snickering.

“I hate to interject but if you’re going to talk about your sex life, I’m going to have to walk away,” Liana says. She can stomach talking about her brother kissing you but anything more than that was not something she was comfortable with.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m comfortable talking about that, especially this sober.”

“Well, then, we have to think of something else. Come on ladies, we can figure this out.” Candace says. You really didn’t like talking about yourself. You don’t want to brag because you know that not everyone can have what you have with Mathew.

I don't wanna be a bragger But my man's a heart attacker Like McConaughey and Jagger Hotter than a Saturday night I can't help it that I flaunt him (All the time) I understand why you would want him (I don't mind) And you can keep up all the chatter 'bout my happy ever after 'Cause all that really matters is he's mine

Candace is about to say something but is stopped when you get a phone call. You look at the caller ID and see that it’s Mathew.

“Speaking of the lover,” Candace says, and you glare at her. “Just answer the phone. We’ll use your reactions as a conversation point.”

You pick up the phone and instantly have a giant smile on your face as Mathew says “Hi, baby.” The girls around you hoot and holler at your grin.

“Hey,” you say back to him.

“Wow, it sounds like you’re in a hockey locker room. How’s it going? I just wanted to check on you. I’m about to head out for my event.” Tito is taking Mathew and his friends to go golfing and then a dinner tonight for Mathew’s Bachelor party.

“Yeah, it seems like that sometimes. We’re doing well. We ate already and might get some dessert in a bit.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Funny enough, you.”

You can’t see him but you know that there’s a giant smirk on his face. “Oh yeah? What about me are you talking about?”

“Nothing in particular. Just everything I love about you. The way you walk around the apartment without a shirt. The way you kiss.”

“Well, make sure you tell them about that thing I do with my lips that makes you moan my name in bed.” You instantly feel the heat rush to both your face and core remembering exactly what Mathew is talking about.

“We’ve established that I wasn’t going to talk about things like that and also your sister is here, so.”

“Well, I’ll let you go and also Tito is yelling at me to get going. I love you, future-Mrs.-Barzal.”

“I love you, too, future husband.” You hang up the phone with a giant smile on your face and the girls around you all smile. “What?”

Sydney smiles back at you. “The giant smile on your face. Mathew makes you really happy.”

Your smile, if possible, gets wider. “Yeah, he makes me really happy, and I love him more than anything.”

“It’s obvious,” Candace says. “Also, what did he say to tell us that we established we weren’t going to discuss?”

You feel your cheeks warm up again. You ignore Candace’s statement and turn to the chocolate-chip muffin on your plate.

“Oh come on, Ynn. Tell us.

“Um, Liana, I’m sorry you have to hear this,” you begin hesitantly. She just looks at you. “He told me to tell you guys about that thing he does in bed that um,” Liana nods for you to continue. “Makes me moan and yell his name.”

The girls just stare at you.

“I’m not going to, though. That’s, um, a rather private matter, and I feel the need to express that I am not going to elaborate.”

Liana smiles. “Hey, at least my brother knows how to make you feel good, right?”

You look at her and are surprised that she’s not completely disgusted with what you said.

“Don’t worry. I’m here as your friend not Mathew’s brother.”

“Yn, we want more, please tell us more!” another one of the girls at the table says to you. You really didn’t want to brag about your relationship with Mathew. It was strong, loving, healthy, and made you extremely happy. There was something about Mathew, however, that made you want to talk about him and put him on display.

You smile. “What do you want to know?”

I've got his nights, I've got his name There ain't no shame in this girl's game If he was yours, you'd do the same Without apologizing

The girls wanted a story from the first year in your relationship. What story to tell them? There were so many. You first thought instantly goes to the first time you ever wore his jersey and went to one of his games. You begin telling the story.

You and Mathew had been dating for almost seven months before he invited you to a game. He wanted to make sure that you weren’t with him for his money or fame, and you understood that. You never prompted him or forced him to insert yourself into his life. You let Mathew decide when he wanted to introduce to his friends and teammates. You were fully content on watching Mathew from your television on game nights.

However, one night, Mathew decided that he wanted to have you at the game. It was a home game against the Rangers, a rivalry that has a long history in New York. He bought you your tickets and told you that your seats weren’t with the other WAGs per your request. You didn’t want to sit with them quite yet until you were ready, and Mathew respected that. Also, he had yet to tell anyone on the team he was seeing anyone.

When you left for work the morning of the game, Mathew was still there. However, when you got home, he wasn’t but in his place was a jersey. Not just any jersey, however, it was Mathew’s jersey with his number and last name on it. You looked at it and smiled; you couldn’t wait to wear it for him.

About an hour later, you put on the jersey and head to the arena. When you’re seated, you finally realize how close up your seats are. You looked around and were so giddy. You were going to be watching your boyfriend, whom you were sure you were in love with, play the sport he absolutely loves.

You watched the boys come out for warm ups, and your heart swelled. He was in his element, and he looked so happy. You loved how effortlessly he made the sport look, and you loved how he interacted with his teammates. You were so caught up in watching him that you didn’t notice that Mathew was watching you. It took a few moments, but you did eventually realize, and you both laughed. You remember someone, who you now know was Anders, smacking Mathew over the shoulder.

The Islanders won that night in a overtime, and you were beyond elated. Mathew told you that he’d meet you at your car and that he did.

When you saw him, you jumped into his arms and held him tightly. “You played so well, baby.”

Mathew pulls away for a moment and looks down at you. “Yeah, well I had the woman I love in the stands and my new good luck charm.”

You pull back for a moment. Were you hearing this right? Did Mathew just tell you he loved you?

“Before you start overthinking everything and scrunch up your nose in that really adorable way, let me just confirm, yes, I do love you. Yn, I love you.”

“I wasn’t going to overthink anything, you’re wrong.”

Matthew laughs. “You know, you’re avoiding the obvious.”

You knew you were. “I thought I was pointing out the obvious.”

“Do you need me to say it again, yn?” Mathew asks.

You pretend to ponder it. “Yeah, I do, Mathew.”

“Yn, I love you.”

You smile. “I love you, too, Mathew.” You remember him leaning down and kissing you. You remember that you both had to eventually separate so that you could drive back to your place. You remember that night that you fell asleep in Mathew’s arms hopeful of what can happen one day.

“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Grace says. You look at her puzzled. “Anders, Tito, and I think Sydney and Matt were there, too. Anders said that Mathew was staring at a girl, so we all followed Mathew secretly, and we saw you guys.”

“That’s right! That did happen!” Sydney remarks.

“So, you weren’t really shocked when Mathew finally introduced me to all of you?”

“No, we really weren’t. We didn’t quite see your face, but we knew Mathew was seeing someone.” Sydney answers.

“We finally realized what was behind Mathew’s stellar playing. Anders once came home from a roadie saying that Mathew was playing extremely well and wasn’t sure what to correlate it to. Now we know, it was you.” Grace says.

Your smile reaches ear to ear.

“That’s so cute and romantic, you guys. The two of you were made for each other.” Candace dotes.

You smile. You didn’t want to brag but yes, you and Mathew were made for each other. Yes, sometimes it was hard, but you knew that at the end of the day, you and Mathew loved each other to pieces.

“Hmm. Tell us about meeting Mathew for the first time. That has to be a story.” Tessa. You smile at the memory.

You were running late. The uptown 4 train in Brooklyn was having a bunch of delays, and you didn’t have time to walk to the closest 5 train station. The 4 train heading uptown to Brooklyn Bridge finally came and you jumped on. You breathed a sigh of relief as the train rolled away from the station. However, you became aggravated when it stopped in the middle of the tunnel, and an announcement came that the train would be moving shortly. Yeah, you knew what that meant. You could either be moving again in two minutes or two hours.

Twenty minutes passed, and your feet were starting to ache. You really wished that you wore flats on your commute and then changed into your heels at work.

“Did you want to sit?” someone asked. You remember looking up. “Your feet look like they’re killing you, did you want to sit? I don’t mind standing.”

“Oh, um, no it’s okay, I’m good.” You remember saying.

“No, really, I insist,” he insisted.

You shake your head. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“So, then, if I stand up, you’re not going to sit down?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“No, someone else can sit,” you remember saying. You weren’t one to take up offers like this out of respect for the other person, and you were also very stubborn.

He chuckles and sighs. “Can you just sit? I don’t know why you won’t take up the offer of my generosity. I just don’t think you’re really all that comfortable.”

You hesitate.

“What if,” he proposes. “I got up and said I wanted to stretch my legs, and you just took up the opportunity to sit?”

You look at him and are about to say something, but he gets up and mumbles something about needing to stretch his legs. He gives you a knowing look (one that you’ve grown to love). and you know you are going to sit. So, you sit. You breathe a sigh of relief, and he laughs softly.

“See, was that so hard?”

You look at him and grumble. “No.”

He laughs and time passes quickly. It only took thirty more minutes after this for the train to start moving. You exited the Brooklyn Bridge - City Hall station ninety minutes after you would have liked. You were fast walking because you had to catch the Uptown 3 train.

“Hey, wait,” you don’t think this person is talking to you, so you keep walking. He taps your shoulder, and you finally turn around. “I know this is weird, but can I get your number?”

You remember looking at him shocked and he laughed at you.

“I’m Mathew, and there’s something about you that I want to get to know better.”

For some reason, that cheesy line made you smile, and you gave him your number. And, as they say, the rest is history.

“Wait, Mathew took the subway?” Liana asks puzzled.

“Yeah, he said that he was running late for meeting Tito, and he thought taking the subway would be faster. Clearly, it wasn’t.” You explain.

“Oh, Yn, give us more stories about you and Matthew,” one of the girls says.

You smile softly. You really weren’t sure what else more to say. You really didn’t want to brag about your relationship with Mathew. The constant theme in your relationship was that you kept private things private. Mathew was private in the sense of the media, and you were just a private person all around. But, something about today and the girls asking made you want to spill literally everything.

“I’d ask about the proposal, but Mathew has shared that a million times,” Candace jokes. “Just give us a random story that makes you laugh or smile.”

“I can give you that,” you say. You ruminate for a moment and begin.

Matthew was spending the weekend with you because he didn’t have any games, and they just came off of a two week road trip. You guys missed each other, and, at the stage your relationship was at, being without each other for even an hour was unbearable. This was not to say, though, that it was easy to be apart now. Only, now, you both have learned to find a way to make that pain ease a bit.

It was 12:34pm on a Saturday, and you were hungry for lunch. Mathew said he was taking you out for his favorite sushi place and told you to eat a light lunch. So, you were going to make some avocado toast. No, nothing fancy. The basic summary was that you had pumpernickel bread and a ripe avocado that might go bad soon.

You retreat from the warmth of Mathew, the pillows, and blankets to make some toast. You didn’t hear Mathew follow you; you actually didn’t think he was going to considering you told him you’d just bring it to him. You put the bread in the toaster and pulled out a knife to cut the avocado. You waited for a few minutes as the bread toasted. You looked out into the living room but didn’t see Mathew. You figured that he went to the washroom.

The toaster dings, and the toast pops out. You put the toast on the plate and begin cutting the avocado to spread onto the toast. Suddenly, you feel two very strong arms snake around your waist. It’s Matthew, who else?

“You cut your avocado weirdly,” he says, and you just look at him.

What? “What?”

“You cut the avocado weirdly.”

You snicker. “What is a not weird way to cut your avocado?”

“I don’t know, I just know you cut it weirdly.”

“Why can’t it be that I cut it normally, and you cut it weirdly?”

“Because, yn, you need a weird thing.”

You giggle. “Why do I need a weird thing?”

“Because all people in a relationship have a weird thing that only the other person in it knows.”

“So, you’re telling me that my weird thing is that I cut avocados weirdly?”

“Mhm, exactly.” Mathew takes a piece of toast with avocado already on it and bites into it.

“Despite that, though, you still make very tasty avocado toast, babe.”

“Well, if my weird thing is about cutting avocado, what’s you weird thing?”

“I don’t know, you have to figure it out on your own.”

You remember smiling and then kissing his cheek. Dinner that night did not disappoint, and Mathew brought you to the right restaurant.

“Did you ever figure out what his weird thing was?” Sydney asks.

“I mean, no? But, like, the way I cut the avocado is not weird, so I’m not sure what he was getting at. I told him that the way he ties his shoes was weird.”

“Not the skates?” Grace asks.

“No, not the skates. I told him that there was a difference between the skates and the shoes.”

The girls laugh. “How did you do that? Isn’t it the same?” Candace asks. “It is, but he wouldn’t tell me why the avocado cutting was weird, so I did this. He took me to the rink the day after I told him and forced me to watch him tie his skates like ten times. I guess it’s what I deserve.”

“That was a cute story. As my future sister-in-law, I want to say, I’m glad Mathew has you in his life.” Liana says.

You smile. “I can drink to that.” You all clink your glasses and take a sip.

You loved these girls and were so glad that you got to celebrate your Bachelorette with them. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

If he were a wine, he'd be the shelf at the top (Top) If he were a house, he'd be the end of the block (Block) Walked up to my heart and went, "Knock, knock, knock" So I've got to show him off

You got home that day at 4:00 pm and before Mathew. You were expecting that; Tito told you that Mathew and the boys would be out later only because their day started later. You went into your bedroom and changed out of your bride-to-be outfit and into your comfortable clothes. You took off your makeup and put your hair in a comfortable style. You were going to use the time to open some of the invitations you’ve received and mark down their attendance and meal choices.

Constantly, though, your mind went straight to Mathew. Every thought you had went back to Mathew but not in a sophomoric, conceited way. In a way that expressed your true love for him and how you felt. You didn’t like talking about your relationship with Mathew often; you enjoyed the privacy, and it allowed you to grow as a person both in the relationship and outside it.

However, this didn’t mean that you didn’t want to talk about Mathew all the time. You knew that if you didn’t control yourself, you’d be one of those girls that brought up her boyfriend at the most random times. You also knew that those types of girls were annoying, so you tried not to be like that.

That didn’t mean you didn’t let your mind wander to those places. Mathew was amazing. Sure, there were some flaws, but the great things about him enormously outweighed the flaws. Mathew had the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen. Even if you had friends who hazel eyes, their eye color didn’t match Mathew’s, nothing could. He could be doing the most mundane task or thing and you’d immediately fall more in love. No question about it.

Physically? Mathew had the body of a Greek god and that drove your crazy. When he constantly walked around with a shirt on? You had to force yourself not to jump up and kiss him or run your hands down his broad, firm chest. When you both sat on the couch and he didn’t have a shirt on, you absolutely adored just running your hand up and down his abs as if it were a pillow. Yeah, you wanted to shout from your balcony that you had a hot boyfriend, no, fiance now, that you loved. You loved running your fingers through his hair. There was softness that was indescribable. His hair was rough but also soft at the same time. You constantly wanted to be touching him. All the time. You just needed to be close to Mathew at all times. You didn’t want to say you were clingy because you weren’t. You were just in love and wanted to be in the presence with him at all times. You loved to tell Mathew that you felt so lucky that you got to even be in the same universe as him. He laughed and said the fact that he got to even get your number was remarkable to him.

You were both crazy about each other and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

I don't wanna be a bragger But my man's a heart attacker (Oh, he is) Like McConaughey and Jagger Hotter than a Saturday night I can't help it that I flaunt him (All the time) I understand why you would want him (I don't mind) And you can keep up all the chatter 'bout my happy ever after 'Cause all that really matters is he's mine

Mathew got home that night at 9:32.

“Oh, you’re home early,” you said, and he came down and sat next to you.

Mathew smirked. “Hiding me from your boyfriend?”

Your face turns warm. “No, I just thought that you’d want to celebrate the last of your bachelor years with the boys instead of at home with me.”

“I celebrated my bachelor years already; now I’m coming home and celebrating what my future holds.”

You smile. “Look at you, Mathew Barzal; don’t you know the way into a girl’s heart.”

“I only want your heart, babe,” Mathew says and then kisses you. “How was your day with the girls?”

“It was nice. Oh! Did you know that Anders, Matt, Tito, Grace, and Sydney knew we were dating before you began officially hinting at it and introduced me?”

“What?”

“Yeah! I was telling them about the first time I went to one of your games, and Grace said they caught on to you staring at a girl. She was saying that they followed you secretly and saw us.”

“That’s, wow. I’m not sure how to respond.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter, now, does it? We are getting married.”

“That indeed we are, babe,” Mathew says as he reaches down and places a kiss on your temple. “So, what else did you talk about?”

“Wedding planning, you, other stuff, normal girl talk.”

“Did you just say ‘you’ as in me?”

You turn your head away bashfully. “Maybe.”

Mathew laughs his deep belly laugh. “What did you guys say? I mean, I know you were talking about me, but I didn’t think it was a lot.”

“They just wanted me to brag about you and everything. I told them about the story of when we first met, the avocado thing, how you don’t walk around with a shirt, the first time I went to one of your games.”

“Oh, speaking of,” Mathew takes off his shirt, and you laugh. Of course.

“They just wanted me to brag about my love and relationship with you.”

“You should, as bride-to-be.”

“How was your day?” you ask.

“Pretty good; it was fun, but I missed you.”

“Yeah, I missed you, too.”

“It’s funny, we can go a long time without seeing one another when I’m on the road. Don’t get me wrong, it’s quite unbearable but this honestly felt worse.”

“My take is that because we both know that we’re in the same city and can be with each other in probably under an hour. However, when you’re on the road, it’s less hard because you know that you have to be there.”

“Look at you, my intellectual fiance. Our children better get all your traits.”

“I think they should get your looks.”

“I don’t think so; no no.”

“I’m not arguing with you on this. How about a good mix?”

“Perfect, babe.” Mathew kisses you. “Do you want to go to bed? Maybe I can do that thing to you I was referencing earlier?”

The heat instantly rushes to your face, and Mathew instantly knows he’s got you in the palm of his hands. The way your eyes bulged out and swallowed deeply, Mathew just knew.

“I’m going to take that as a yes,” he picks you up and carries you to bed.

Yeah, you didn’t want to brag about your relationship with Mathew, but he was too amazing not to.

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hellsfanatic · 3 years ago

Text

dalbit

warnings: none

words: 690

for @lipsticksandcigarettes

taglist: @thegaygreaser @dallaswinstonsleatherjacket @frog--kingg @a-little-birdie-once-told-me

—

I woke up in the Curtis’s living room. Usually I wouldn’t sleep here, but I didn’t feel like walking anywhere last night, so I stayed. A couple people were around when I opened my eyes. The Curtis brothers-not Darry, just the other two, Steve, and Two-Bit. The four were laughing and joking around, but they kept it pretty quiet. Must’ve thought I was still asleep.

When I actually got up and listened a bit to what Two-Bit was joking about, I didn’t really know how to react. He had a jacket—my jacket—over his shoulder and hanging on his fingers and my Saint Christopher. His voice was high pitched, imitating a girl. More specifically, and what I should’ve picked up on sooner, one of my girls. I don’t know which one, maybe just the idea of it. Who knows.

“Two-Bit.” I pulled my jacket off of him. He jumped, but he didn’t stay in shock for long. He started grinning, ready to keep up his act.

“Oh, why hello Dallas,” his voice went even higher on my name.

“Cut it out.”

He glanced back at the boys. “You think he’s in a bad mood?” he asked, voice lowering to his normal pitch. A few shrugs, one guy who didn’t answer. His eyes went back to me. “Am I supposed to say sorry?”

It was my turn to shrug. “I don’t know. You wore the jacket over the shoulder and necklace better than any of my chicks ever did, guess that’s some pity points for you. I’ll let you off easy, Two-Bit.”

His grin grew, and I hated it. I hated that I liked to see it. I hated how one of his dimples was deeper than the other when he grinned. I hated that I knew his teeth peeked through when he was happier. I hated how charming it was. I couldn’t stand that I was happy to see him wearing my necklace either. I’d been hating everything about Two-Bit Mathews for a long time, because if I didn’t then I think I just might fall in love with him. Maybe I already had. Maybe that’s why I hated him. I couldn’t tell him that though. No, that’s not it really. I couldn’t tell anyone.

“You’re lettin’ me off easy hey Winston? What? Too tired? Or are you gettin’ softer? That why you said I looked nice too, hm?” he teased. I hated it still.

“I’m letting it slide unless you make a deal of it. Got that?” My voice was tougher, I just wanted to get it over with, and to get away from this.

His hands went up. “Oh no, of course.”

I didn’t take my necklace back then. I just left. It did look nice on him anyways. I thought it was done for now, that he’d leave it alone, but I was wrong.

“So uh, did ya mean it?” It was Two-Bit. He stood almost like he thought it was awkward and his hands were stuffed into his pockets.

I cocked an eyebrow. “Mean what?”

“That I wore your necklace and stuff better. I get if you weren’t serious or whatever I just was kind of curious.” Two shrugged, looking down at his feet and

starting to stop the rocking on his heels he’d been doing since he spoke.

I shrugged. “Yeah. You looked nice. I guess.”

He let himself crack a little smile. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just uh, do me a favor and don’t tell anyone I said it will ya? I don’t really know why I thought you looked nice in it or why you’ve been like that for a while. It’s kinda like when I like girls? I guess the only thing different is that it’s you this time and I don’t want that getting out.”

He nodded. “Okay. And by the way Dal?” he started. I raised an eyebrow. “You still look better in the jacket and Christopher. It’s just kinda your thing.”

I let myself smile at that. Just a little though. “Thanks. You can keep the necklace for a while. We’ll talk later about all this if you wanna.”

“Yeah, okay.”

#the outsiders #dallas winston #two bit mathews #dalbit #my writing

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mortalfaerie · 4 years ago

Text

To Fake an Engagement (M.F.)

4/?

mathew fairchild x (fem) reader

word count: 2k

synopsis: things have gone smoothly for reader and mathew in the months since the christmas party, but as feelings grow more serious, mathew decides he needs to tell you something, a deep, horrible secret. coi canon divergent, no spoilers. discussion of mathew's "greatest sin" from GotSM

Two months passed as through in a dream. Mathew and you were inseparable, and you had explained to your friends after some pestering that you were secretly courting but not yet engaged, and had not taken the matter to your parents yet. Though a little exasperated and wondering why you were waiting, when surely your parents would support the decision, they kept your secret.

You went on respectable outings and took walks in the park, Matthew being “all gentlemanly propriety” as he had once said, though more than once you had stolen away to kiss feverishly in private, in alcoves and behind bushes. And who could blame you? You were teenagers in love. Only, despite making his intentions to marry you one day clear, he hadn’t said those words yet: I love you.

You didn’t want to force him to it. You knew he would tell you in his own time, but you wished he would, to affirm your hopes.

You had been surprised when a week after the Christmas party, it came to light that Matthew had bought a flat of his own. It had been shocking at first, since though you knew his family was very wealthy, he never gave off an air of superiority you had expected from someone of his status. He had given you and all your friends a tour, when he had moved in after a spat with his family. You were happy to see him happy, but you would like to see him reconciled with his parents. You were fond of Charlotte and Henry Fairchild, and them you, for forcing Matthew out of his foul moods.

It was a Wednesday in February, and the sun seemed to have come out for the first time in weeks. You were responding to a letter from your cousin when you looked out your window and saw Mathew approaching your house. Startled, you jumped up and smoothed your dress, arranging your hair in the mirror, just as your mother called that “your friend, Matthew” had come to ask you to walk in the park. You gathered your coat and boots, and came down the stairs to join him, smiling as you took his arm.

“What brings you around unannounced?” you asked, as you proceeded down the street toward the park at the center of your neighborhood.

He looked at you sideways and smiled crookedly. “Can a man not engage the attention of the woman he’s courting?”

You laughed and nudged him, answering, “Of course I am glad to see you, but what is the occasion?”

“There are matters I would like to discuss with you.” he replied.

“Oh, dear.” you remarked, and shook your head.

He smiled. “Don’t look so grave. I haven’t come to break this off.”

“Well I should certainly hope not, because I’m sure Lucie and Cordelia would be after your head on a platter if you did.” You replied. It was true that the two of them had leveled not-so-joking threats at Matthew should he break your heart after telling their group you had an understanding. Matthew, recalling this, winced beside you.

You were approaching the park now. The snow had mostly melted by now, and the unusually sunny weather had allowed for the ground to dry. As such, Matthew gestured for you to sit on the grass, and then joined you, taking in the sun on the pond water.

“So, my brooding love, what is it you must discuss with me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He gave you a nod, looking pale. Your heart picked up, wondering what was so severe that he was visibly distressed by it. As support, you offered your hand, and he took it, lacing your fingers together.

“I must tell you something, Y/N. It will not reflect well on my character, and it may impact your desire to continue in this arrangement we have, which is why I must tell you now.” he began, and looked to you to gage your reaction. You were looking at him in alarmed confusion but nodded for him to continue.

“You recall that Alistair Carstairs was a menace to us at the Academy?” he said, his voice snagging with venom on his enemy’s name.

“Yes, I remember you telling me. He was a bully and he spread rumors-” you began, and he finished, “About my parentage. Yes.”

He took a deep breath and said more levelly, “Even after I left the Academy, his word stuck with me. I couldn’t put the notion that Gideon Lightwood was my father out of my head, since neither of my parents have my hair, but Charles has our father’s red hair. Well, I had been at the Shadow Market, and despite the advice of a good man, I bought a tincture from a faerie meant to compel the truth from a person.” His voice broke, and he closed his eyes, collecting himself. You squeezed his hand to let him know he could take as much time as he needed to, and that you were here for him.

Finally, he cleared his throat and continued, “I slipped the tincture into a batch of scones for my mother. I meant to ask her, after she ate one, if Gideon was my father, but- faeries lie. I should have known that. It wasn’t a truth tonic, Y/N. And I didn’t know my mother was with child.”

“Oh, Matthew.” you whispered, so full of sorrow for him and this cross he had been carrying.

“My mother became ill. She recovered, but… the child was lost. I killed it, her. It was a girl. And the most wretched part is they would have named her Matthilda, for my great aunt. My great aunt, who had my hair. There was never any truth to the rumor at all.” He choked on a sob, and it was clear that even now, he was tormented by the mistake.

Your heart broke, and you pulled him to you, letting him drop his head into your lap as his tears wet your skirt. You consoled him, feeling some tears well up in your own eyes to see him in pain, and told him again and again, “It wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have known.”

“I am a murderer, Y/N. I killed my unborn sister.” he said with such awful resignation.

“You are not a murderer, Matthew, you had no reason to know it would harm her, or that she was with child, you couldn’t have intended harm.” you argued.

“But it happened because I believed a stupid rumor over my own parents. And because of it, someone died while I got to live.” you leaned down and wrapped your arms around him as his body shook, and assured him,

“You are a good man, Matthew Fairchild. I know this, and this knowledge doesn’t change that. It was a terrible, awful mistake, but it was a mistake.”

“How,” he hiccuped, “can you love me, knowing now what I’ve done?”

You pulled him up so he faced you. “I can love you because I have loved you with every foolish thing you have done until now. I came to love you because of who you are, and I will love you still, knowing this. You are still the boy I fell in love with when I moved to London, and you are the man I love now.”

Tears streaked his face as he responded, “You are the most kind person I have ever known. Your capacity to love and forgive astounds me every day, and I am so, so lucky to know you, Y/N.”

With a deep breath, he added, “And I love you, with every fiber of my being.”

In spite of yourself, you felt a grin spread across your face. “You love me?” you asked, almost disbelieving.

“Yes.” he said, as serious as you had ever seen him. “I love you. I love, I love, I love you.”

You wiped the wetness from his cheeks with your fingers and cupped his face. “I love you, too, Matthew. I love you so much.” and you leaned in to kiss him, slowly, and meaningfully.

When you parted, he said, “Then there’s something I need to ask you.”

Your heart thudded with abandon in your chest. Was this what you thought it was? It wasn’t even close to the end of your bargain! You schooled your voice to be calm and responded, “Yes?”

“Will you marry me, Y/N Y/L/N?” he said, quiet enough that only you two could hear.

Tears spilled over now, as you nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. Yes, of course I will marry you. By the Angel, yes!”

He pulled you into a strong, crushing hug. “Oh, thank you. Thank you, Y/N." he repeated, holding you close. He pulled away, looking you in the eyes to say, “I have worked on my drinking, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I don’t carry a flask anymore, and I have a flat. I can support you.”

You laughed. “Matthew, I would marry you if you had nothing.”

He playfully raised an eyebrow and asked, “But you are glad that I don’t?”

You both laughed as you responded, “Of course.” You gasped, and then fumbled for your pocket, producing the Fairchild ring from it. You put it in his hand and removed your own glove, offering him your hand. “Put the ring on, in earnest this time.”

He grinned like an idiot as he slid his family ring, which had been in your keeping for months, onto your own hand again. He brought your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it. “My bride to be.” he murmured, just as he had that night in the Devil’s Tavern all those months ago.

Your heart swelled for love of him. You loved him, for better or for worse, his foulness and his sweetness, all of him.

“Y/N Fairchild.” you said, trying out the name.

He smiled. “I shall have it engraved on every surface in our home. So, a spring wedding, or autumn?”

“Hmm.” you considered. “Autumn, I think. We have no need to rush.”

He gave you a mischievous look. “Only that I wish to have you in my own home, through the night, as soon as I can.”

You blushed despite yourself. “Oh, very well. Perhaps a May wedding…” you trailed off, and leaned in to kiss him, this time full of promise of things to come.

Your parents had been surprised, but supportive. After all, what shadowhunter parents wouldn’t support their daughter marrying into the Consul’s family? An engagement party had been held the following week at Matthew’s new flat, and at your request, his parents were invited. He wasn’t overly excited to speak to them, but he understood how much having his family involved in the wedding meant to you, and he obliged.

You were standing in the foyer beside him, dressed in your best party gown, when Henry and Charlotte arrived. When they entered, at first no one spoke, and then Charlotte smiled warmly and took your hand. “Y/N, dear. I could not have wished for a better woman to love my son.”

You felt Matthew relax some beside you, and he smiled cordially to his parents. “Thank you, mum. I am very lucky to have her.”

Henry had grinned and shook your hand, welcoming you to the family. After they proceeded into the large parlor, Matthew wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Thank you.” he murmured.

“For what?” you asked, confused.

“For this. I think you’ve made me a better person in their eyes. You changed me.” he said, resting his chin on your head.

“No, you changed yourself, Matthew. That was you.” you countered.

He gave a chuckle and held you tighter. “Well, you gave me a good reason to change.”

You happily snuggled into his chest, lingering in the foyer a little longer before going into the party.

#matthew fairchild #matthew fairchild x reader #the mortal instruments #the infernal devices #the last hours #the dark artifices #the shadowhunter chronicles

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cushionydeer4 · 3 years ago

Note

Could you possibly write a smutty fanfic about Mathew Gray Gubler x Reader. Please and thank you :D.

Authors Note: We’ll I’m stupid I didn’t write it smutty and I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable enough to write smut yet. And even if I did, I don’t think I would write it with real people. But I did write a fluffy fic with him in it though

no warning; just fluff

Based off of his house tour with vanity fair (so basically you’re doing it with him)

“Hi, I’m Matthew Gray Gubler”

“Hello, I’m y/n y/ln”

“And we live in a haunted tree house”

“Come, let me show you some of our weird stuff,” Matthew grabs your hand and slinks backwards, away from the camera with you.

First up on your home tour is Matthew’s kimono closest and as he talks to the camera, you tilt your head and stare at him in adoration. “Y/n actually has some kimonos in here as well, so I guess it’s not solely my closet, it’s hers as well.” Matt explains. You chuckle slightly and add “ but have way more than I do love” Smiling goofily at the pet name, he agrees.

As you enter the house, you lead Matthew and the camera over to the fireplace. “The thing so special about here,” you smile “ is that my darling Matt hand built it himself because he claimed the stone masons weren’t giving it ‘the drunk gnome look’ he was going for.” Matt playfully scrunches his nose at you and laughs. He adds “I was the only one there that was bad enough at masonry to build it like a drunk gnome” “Next” he says as he puts his hand around your waist and moves behind you to grab something. “Here is one of the screws that I had in my knee for about 7 months a while back, and the reason it’s here actually is because I gifted it to my partner when I came back from my appointment to get it out. It wasn’t too serious of a medical issue, but it was still a concerning one and one that I had had for awhile. I had it before i met y/n actually but, they were dating me when I had the surgery on my knee to get the screw in my knee cap. I’m kinda rambling on here, but the reason it’s so special is because the first person I wanted to see out of surgery, while I was still kinda out of it, was them. And that’s when I knew they were the one for me. So when I was finally able to get it out of my knee, I wanted to gift it to them because it’s the thing that made me realize how much she means to me”. Although you have heard Matthew tell you this story many times before, your eyes still are slightly teary. And by the looks around the camera and microphone people are tearing at Matthew’s sweet story as well. “Aww” you coo as you lean more into Matthew, embracing him into a hug. “I love you” you whisper “I love you”.

After the heart warming moment you and your husband had you continue on with the tour. He shows his some of the directing work that he’s done on criminal minds. You showcased some of the props you’ve gotten to take home from a couple movies and TV shows you’ve starred in. Matthew and you share the stuffed animals that you’ve hand sown together. You specifically make sure to show off the octopus you made, as you are very proud of how well it turned out. Continuing on Mathew and you share the items you have collected on your desk, such as skulls, various teeth and gems. Matthew shows his electrocution pen and shocks himself. You giggle at his antics. You show the crown of plastic babies you diy-ed and put it on your head, exclaiming, “ I wear this when I write emails because the babies bring me the power of words!”

To close off the video

“Oh honey you know what we should do” Matthew ask you. “What is that”

Matthew and you (separately) jumped rope, sides passing threw the screen. “Thanks for stopping bye” you both shout.

Authors Note Here: I hope you liked it, and if you didn’t please feel free to message me and I’ll write you another one. But I thought this was a cute concept and I hadn’t seen anyone do this yet (maybe they have and I just haven’t read it yet.) Enough of my rambling though. I hope you enjoyed it!

#matthewgraygubler #mathew gray gubler #matthewgraygublerimagine #matthewgraygublerxreader #mathewgraygublerimagine #mathewgraygublerxreader

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generallybarzy · 4 years ago

Text

hey there, stranger. ix

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

an: it took a bit to perfect this, but here’s christmas morning!!!!!!! I’m sorry it took so long and isn’t even that long, this is all I could get done. Are you ready to see what they got each other for christmas? And are you ready for the surprise that happens later? Are Mat and the Reader ready for the surprise, or will they freak out? We’ll see. This beginning scene is one of my favorite parts EVER it’s so cute and I hope you think the same!!!

taglist: @selenophileangel @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy @shawnsreputation @comphybiscuit @aboveaveragehockeyboys @canadianheaters @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @baby-cat-nol-pat

word count: 3.6k

Last time you woke up in someone else’s bed, you were anxious.

Today, when you returned into reality from your dream land- which now looked a lot like your real life- and could already feel the sun- despite the lack of warmth- shining through Mat’s window and landing on your exposed skin, and even though it was chilly and wintery and you were in bed with this man for only the second time ever, you couldn’t feel happier. You couldn’t feel safer. You couldn’t feel more comfortable. And this morning, you knew you weren’t going to run away.

You opened your eyes to find the source of the comfortable weight on your body, gentle, sleepy breaths hitting your neck and the soft locks of dark hair tickling your skin. Mathew was splayed out across your body, head on your chest with your fingers knotted securely into his hair- dark and unruly against the white bedsheets. You pulled the thick duvet up further on the both of you, craving a little bit more warmth before you’d have to face the day together. You brought a hand to his cheek, tilting his face up to look at him- his brow, relaxed and gentle in his slumber, his pretty cheekbones and jawline that you always found yourself marvelling, and the plush, pink lips that you always swore were much too beautiful for any man. But perfect for him.

Your fingers traced along the contours of his skin, all the way from his dark hair to his temples, down his cheekbones, and flattening on his cheeks. It was about time for him to shave again, as he hadn’t in a few days and his face was getting a little bit scratchy. You weren’t shallow, of course not. Mat was so much more than his appearance, but here, in this soft moment, you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful your boyfriend was. And you took account of every little detail, how beautiful his eyelashes were, the arch of his brow, his cute chin, every stray freckle like on the corner of his chin, every little scar like the one on the bridge of his nose or his forehead from years of playing hockey and every imperfection that was so, so beautiful, and made Mat, Mat.

His face twitched as you continued to drag your fingers across his warm skin, smiling as he woke up. And when his eyes finally met yours, sleepy and half-lidded under pretty eyelashes, you fell even more in love.

Love.

“Morning, bubs.”

“Mmm. Merry Christmas.” The words were mumbled against your skin, followed by a sweet kiss to your throat.

“Oh! I forgot about that.”

He chuckles. Ah, the first laugh of the day. “How could you forget about Christmas?”

“I was preoccupied.” With admiring you.

“What’s more important to remember than Christmas morning?”

“You.”

Mat’s head lifted up, his eyes widening slightly in awe and surprise at the way you said it, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. As if of course he should know he’s more important than Christmas. As if you’d known it forever, and it was fact.

“Why do you look so shocked? You’re pretty.” Mat did nothing but shake his head and lean up closer to you, begging for a kiss. “Mat, we have morning breath.”

“I don’t care. Kiss.”

` He pushed himself up on his elbows and crawled up your body, his hair falling down over his forehead and his lips curled up in a smirk. He planted his mouth against yours softly, lazily and sweet, just savoring the way you moved against him. You reached up to tuck a hair behind his ear as he leaned back, eyes running over you. “Wow.”

“So, we opening presents or what?”

“Slow down there, Maty. Let’s brush our teeth first.”

“Race you to the bathroom.” Always competitive, Mat stumbled out of bed, dragging the blanket along and slipping and falling on the hardwood floor, getting back up quickly with a dorky, cheesy smile. “Oops.”

“We have all day, baby. No rush.”

All day. With you.

Mat smiled. “Right. We’ll take it easy, then.”

After brushing your teeth, standing next to each other in the mirror and giggling through your toothpaste, you headed out to the living room, sitting down in front of the tree like little kids on Christmas morning, Mat's long legs folded beneath him, and grabbing the wrapped packaged in your hands. You handed Mat a small box, and he handed you one, much larger than yours. For a moment, you were insecure. He must have gotten you something huge, and you only have this tiny, tiny thing. But the smile on his face didn't give you much time to be worried.

“You first.” He nudged you, urging you towards the box.

“No, Mat, you already gave me a present last night. Now it’s your turn.”

He smiled a bit, giddy and excited, and turned the box over in his hands. “It’s wrapped so pretty. How’d you do that?” You watched his long fingers as he delicately tore the paper away and popped the top off of the little box. Settled in a little bed of paper, lay a tiny, rectangular pendant. Mat was silent for a few moments, just looking at it, before he took it in his palm gently, as if it were glass rather than stainless steel, and lifted it up and read the tiny engraving.

40.6602° N, 73.9690° W

He felt a little embarrassed to ask, but he needed to know. “What does that mean?”

“We met at that little cafe not far from my school, near Prospect Park, right? These are the coordinates. Like, on a map. You put in these numbers and it’s the place we first saw each other.” Slowly, as the words came tumbling out, Mat’s jaw fell open. He glanced back at the pendant, then to you, and back at the pendant, his eyes wide and in awe. Before he could say anything, you continued. “Flip it over.” He shook his head as if surprised there was more, and quickly turned it over.

10/12/2019. “Hey there, stranger.”

“Our anniversary.”

“And our first words to each other...” Mat looked up, his eyes wide and jaw hanging. "Baby…"

"It's a pendant, you can put it on a keychain or wear it as a necklace or whatever you want to do. But I hope it'll always remind you of me." Mat didn't even know what to say. You had given him easily the most meaningful thing he'd ever received, and he was at a loss for words.

"Baby…" He leaned closer to you and lifted his hand to pull you in, cupping your cheek gently and softly and planting his lips against yours. His mouth spoke against yours, not words, but just a silent promise that this love was worth it. All the hard work you put in to learn how to be comfortable around him, and all of Mat struggling to slow down for you and take his time in showing you how much he loved you, it was all worth it. When you broke apart, breathing your love across each other's faces, he pulled the chain he was wearing from beneath his shirt and clipped the pendant on the end. "Always close to my heart, alright?"

"You like it?"

"Like it?" He scoffed. "Baby, this is the most meaningful gift I've ever gotten."

"Really?" You glowed again, happy that you could touch his heart like that. He nodded, pulling you to sit practically in his lap. "Sorry, I was having trouble deciding what to get you and then I was out of time, and this is all I got you-"

"Well, it's amazing."

After a few moments of sweet nuzzling affection, you kissed his cheek. "Can I open mine now?"

A spark of worry ran through Mat's veins for a moment. There was no way his gift would be able to match yours in how meaningful it was. He thought for a moment, trying to figure out what he could say, upset with himself for not getting you something more special. Something more personal. You deserved more than what he got you. "Uhh, well it's not actually much. Definitely not as good as your gift."

"Well, you bought it for me, so it’s automatically important to me."

Your words brought a hesitant smile to his face. "Okay."

Mat let out a breath and watched as you took the package in your hands. His wrapping was much messier than yours, and the present itself wasn't even in a box. He felt a little bit self conscious as you tore away the paper and revealed the heavy, blue fabric. Immediately, the white lettering stuck out to you.

BARZAL

"Oh my god, Mat."

"Yeah?"

You unfolded the jersey and picked it up, revealing the large 13 on the back and the Islanders crest on the front.

"You were wearing my hoodie at the last game you were at, and as much as I loved to see that, I think my biggest fan deserves something more. And, hopefully, you're gonna be coming to a lot more of my games." You could tell Mat a little bashful, something unusual for him, as he scratched the back of his neck and smiled at you, a soft, delicate smile that you hadn’t seen before. So full of love. "Sorry, you got me something so amazing that’s about the two of us… and I got you something about me. I kinda feel like a dick. I could’ve gotten you something more meaningful."

“No, no, Mat.” Your heart pounded in your chest and as you pulled the jersey on over the hoodie of his you were wearing. Then, swallowed up by the blue material, you smiled. “I love it.”

Mat watched you with absolute adoration in his eyes as you sported his jersey- his name and number across your back, the proud smile on your face as you pointed to the 13 in your arm and said “That’s my boyfriend.” His heart throbbed in his chest when you said you loved it, and his jaw dropped open at the sight of you, tugging at the way-too-long sleeves. Fuck-

“-you look so cute right now…” He didn’t realize the words tumbled out of his mouth until it was too late, but the way you were beaming up at him told him it wasn’t a mistake.

“You’re pretty cute, too.”

“Not as much as you.”

“Bet.”

Mat pulled you into his lap with a soft laugh, his arms snug around your waist, and you lifted your hands, the long sleeves of Mat’s jersey making paws as you cupped his cheeks and pulled his face towards yours in a gentle smooch. He lifted you easily in his arms, smiling into the kiss as you squealed at the motion. When your smiles became too teethy and giggly to continue, he nibbled at your ear and dropped you onto the pillows on the couch. He looked down at you, sprawled out on the couch with flushed cheeks and a grin, and knew that this was the sexiest you’ve ever been. Wearing his clothes, huge, baggy sweats and his jersey absolutely swallowing your form. There’s no other way he’d rather have it right now, and, if he didn’t know already, that was the moment he knew he loved you.

“The Bachelor? Or a Christmas movie?”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

After settling on a movie, Mat curled up on the couch next to you, pulling you back against his body. You lay together in silence for some time, neither of you knew how long, but the feeling of being so close against each other was just too timeless. Neither of you cared how long you were there or how much time had passed in comfortable silence, but when you rolled around to Mat and pressed a slow kiss against his smile, the soft cuddle-session took a turn.

Your arms wound around his waist and pulled him tight against you. He laughed at your boldness and leaned down over your body to plant another kiss against your lips, firmer and more passionate than the one before, pulling back only to lock eyes with you. When he was met with a shy little smile and your teeth pulling at your bottom lip, your hands finding the hair at the back of his neck, he leaned back down in compliance.

His body was heavy and warm on top of yours, covering you up like a weighted blanket as he kissed at your neck and throat. His hands were big on your waist, rough and heavy, slipping under all the fabric and squeezing your warm skin. He pulled you closer, his hands dipping further down your body as he found your lips again, nudging softly at your lips with his tongue, a question, a plead.

And you let him in.

He kissed into you, his mouth exploring your mouth, and you hummed in response at the feeling of his tongue against yours, murmuring secrets to you, letting you forget for a moment that he’d done this with plenty of other girls, you’re not special, you’re not his first like he is for you-

-but damn, it feels good for the moment.

You knew you weren’t ready for this, as much as you wanted this right now, you knew it wasn’t what you needed. Not yet. But it felt so nice, and you let yourself skin back into his touch.

His hands slipped down your legs, gripping the back of your thighs through the sweatpants and lifting them to wrap around his hips as he bent closer down to you, one large, rough palm slipping under the jersey and hoodie you were wearing and up your warm skin, and that’s when your breath hitched in your throat. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, but you wanted to push him away. As much as you loved him and you loved this moment, you wanted to tell him to stop. But before you could do anything, his phone started vibrating on the coffee table.

He tried to ignore it at first, but when it continued endlessly, he sat back and looked down at you, flushed cheeks and boyish smile, before leaning over to grab it.

“Ohhh.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s, ugh, my sister.” He cleared his throat, still flustered from what was happening a few moments earlier, held his phone up to his ear and you laughed when you heard multiple voices cheering for him in the background. “Hey, hey, what’s up?… No, what'd ya mean? Forgot what?..... Okay, okay, damn. Hold on, I’ll get on. One sec’.” He hung up the phone with a laugh and reached for his laptop on the coffee table.

“What was that?”

He laughed and scratched the back of his neck, flustered, opening up the video chat request. “I, uhh, it was my family. I forgot about the Facetime we usually have if I’m not home during the holidays.”

“Aww…” You smiled and nudged his bicep. “That’s sweet. They’re checking up on you.”

“Yeah.” Mat’s cursor hovered over the join button on his laptop. “Um, do you wanna…. Uhh, meet them? You don’t have to if you don’t want yet.” You shrugged and scooted to the end of the couch, and Mat nodded, understanding. He gave you a soft smile and connected to the call, and immediately you could see the faces of his family gathered around on the other side, even if they couldn’t see you.

“Merry Christmas sweetie!”

“Took you long enough to get on here.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mat shrugged at his sister’s words, glancing over at you for a brief second. “I was preoccupied.”

You watched him chat with his family and watch them open their presents for a bit, enjoying seeing how smiley and happy he was with them. It was obvious to you how much he loved his family, and, just like way back on your first date when you watched him interact with the waitress and knew he was a great guy, this was such a good sign. His family was so lovely and sweet, and part of you wanted to say ‘hi’. Your own family had never been this cute and supportive, they barely celebrated the holidays, let alone call you on Christmas. Part of you wanted to be a part of Mat’s family, to get this type of comfort and support.

When you refocused back on Mat, you were met with his own soft hazel eyes, watching you gently, with a warm smile. You hadn’t even realized that his family went quiet until you heard his sister speak up.

“Wait. what was that?”

He looked back quickly. “Huh?”

“You keep glancing over. Is someone there?”

“Uhh…”

“Oh!” You heard his mother exclaim. “Mathew, is it that girl you keep telling us about?”

“I, uhh-”

“Spending Christmas together, eh?” His father joined in on the teasing while Mat glanced over at you with worried eyes. You didn’t even need him to speak to know what he was asking. Do you want to be known? Do you want to meet my family? When you hesitated, he turned back to the screen.

“No, ahh, it’s just, I’m looking outside, it’s snowing…”

“No way.”

“C’mon, Maty!”

“Um.” Before Mat could get even more pressured by his family, you scooted over on the couch, nudging his thigh with your foot. At your touch, he glanced over, and you nodded at him. Take a risk, you told yourself. Open up. He deserves it. His eyes lit up, eyebrows lifting in question. You smiled at him and inched closer, and his eyes didn’t leave yours as he spoke to his family. “Okay, uhh. Yeah, you’re right.” He opened his arm for you and let you come in close on camera. “This is (Y/N), my-” he could barely finish the sentence before his family was yelling in joy. “My girlfriend.”

“Oh, you two look so cute together!!” His mom seemed to be the most excited, swooning over how cute you looked together. “Oh, Maty, this is the girl you’ve been talking about so much?”

“That’s me.”

“He talks about you soooo much. It’s almost annoying.” His sister teased him with a smile.

“Shut up.” Mat groaned. “You’re just jealous.”

“Mathew.” his mom scolded him, and you couldn’t help but laugh at all their antics.

“Aww just look at the way they look at each other. All smiley.” His sister and mom continued to swoon over the two of you.

“So that’s why you’ve been blowing off our holiday plans?” His dad joined in lightheartedly. “Your mom and I used to do that too.”

“Yeah?” Mat laughed, his arm squeezing around your body and his eyes finding yours. “Sorry about that. Didn’t want to leave her.” You flushed at the way he was so open about you to his family, openly showing how affectionate you were with each other. And it was making you dizzy with happiness to see how much his family already seemed to love and accept you.

“You shoulda brought her out here to visit for Christmas!”

“Ah, it’s a little soon for that.”

“When did you meet?”

“How did you meet?”

The questions kept rolling in, and while you got a little flustered and shy, Mat easily answered all of them, glancing over at you before each answer to make sure you were still okay with it. He detailed the first time you met, and hearing it all in his words, realizing that he had felt just as nervous and excited leading up to it just made your heart throb. After not too long, the Barzal family decided that they’d leave the two of you to enjoy your Christmas, logging off with one final: “Love you Maty, be safe kids!”

When Mat closed his laptop and looked over to you, you both noticed the bright blushes on each other’s cheek, and how you couldn’t stop from smiling. Even as he saw your flustered look and bright cheeks, he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry. I, uhh, forgot I was gonna get called by them. I would’ve warned you, or-”

“No, no.” You leaned into him, pressing your nose against his shoulder and breathing in his scent, the smell of his fabric softener and yesterday’s cologne clinging to the fabric of his hoodie. “I actually didn’t mind. I’m happy I met them.”

“Yeah? I was worried it would scare you away.”

“Not at all. They’re so nice. I can see where you came from. It’s amazing.”

“That’s good.” His big arms wound around your waist and pulled you closer to him, lying back against the couch once again. “Maybe I’ll meet yours soon?”

Your mind wandered a bit, wondering what it would be like when he met your family. He would definitely be the one scared away then. There was no way he’d want to put up with you after seeing where you came from, the dysfunction, the yelling, the anger. You never wanted Mat to see that, you never wanted him to see a glimpse into what your past was. “Maybe.”

He caught your hesitation, though, and leaned down to press his lips to your forehead. “Only when you’re ready, babe.”

There were no more words exchanged as Mat leaned back with you tucked against him, closing his eyes and kissing your head again. There didn’t need to be any words- you both understood the silent promise from a few weeks ago, when you swore you would take it slow and Mat would stop pushing things. He knew, and you knew, and though you understood he was trying his best, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way his big, rough hand slid up under your shirt earlier, across your warm skin, so confidently, and the way your breath hitched and your heart stopped and your brain went blurry. Mat wanted it. He wanted to rush things so fast, you knew that. He wasn’t one to hold back his feelings, you’d learned that early on. You wanted him, you wanted to trust him like that, but you couldn’t. And as much as you knew Mat wanted it, you weren’t ready. Not yet. And you weren’t sure when you would be.

But for now, you’d just enjoy your boyfriend, and enjoy these perfect, beautiful moments together, while you still could.

#mat barzal #nhl fanfiction #mathew barzal #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal reader insert #mat barzal fanfiction #reader insert #op #fic

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ruzek-halstead · 4 years ago

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monster

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

written based on prompt:

"our kids are bitter rivals and the only time we ever meet is when we’re both called to the principal’s office and whatever maybe i think you’re kind of cute but your kid’s a monster"

warnings: swearing, fluffery

masterlist

au || detective jay || lawyer hailey

today had been a hectic day. hailey had been all over the city; meeting clients, stopping by the courthouse and grabbing paper work from her office. the last thing she needed today was to be called into her daughter’s school because she had gotten into an altercation with another student… again. she’d gotten called in a few times already, due to one of her daughter’s classmates constant teasing and general brattiness. every time she had been called in, the boy’s father was unable to attend due to work commitment. that definitely annoyed her a little bit because here she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off, and she was still finding the time to go into school. apparently he was a detective (and a single father) who regularly did undercover work and often relied on nannies and close friends to watch over his son. by the time she reached the school and rushed into the front office, the secretary was waiting usher her into the principal’s office. upon entering the room, she spotted her daughter, spencer, sitting in one corner of the room and her nemesis (at least that’s how spencer referred to him; his actual name is milo) in the other corner. the only difference this time compared to all the rest of the times she’d been in this office is that milo’s father was present. for a second, she faltered in her step because she was blindsided by how unbelievably attractive he was. he’s dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, where his badge was pinned (obviously no gun because they were in a school). she was distracted by his green eyes and freckle littered face but was quickly brought back into the room by the dirty look he was shooting at her. if there was anything hailey was an expert at, it was throwing some side-eye so she didn’t hesitate in the slightest in returning it. “ah, ms. upton, thank you for joining us!” principal mathews greeted her and motioned for her to sit down in the chair beside her daughter. hailey sat down and reached over to press a quick kiss on the crown of spencer’s head. “hi baby,” she greeted, throwing her a soft smile. she noted in her quick inspection that her daughter had no obvious injuries, so she wondered what this was about. “ms. upton, this is mr. halstead, milo’s father,” principal mathews introduced. “i’ve called you here today after yet, another altercation.” there was a snort from the opposite side of the room. “spencer, would you like to tell us what happened?" “milo pushed me into the ground!” the principle raised an eyebrow. “and?” “he said boys are better than girls and that i suck!” hailey was stifling a laugh. “then what happened?” “he pulled my hair so i punched him in the nose.” hailey gasped and leaned over to look at milo’s face. sure enough, his nose was bruised, but luckily the blood was cleaned up. “oh my god, spencer! honey, you can’t just go around punching people in the face.” “yeah, but he deserved it,” she replied, pouting. “you didn’t have to punch me!” milo retaliated in response. “i was only joking!” spencer made a move to get up out of her chair (she definitely had hailey’s temper). “liar! you’re only saying that now because i punched you and you cried like a little girl!” “oh jesus,” hailey muttered, turning her attention to principle mathews. “i am so sorry. i’ll have a talk with spencer about using her words instead of hands.” for the first time since she arrived, mr. halstead (she’d heard his first name was jay, but it felt so informal since she’d never properly met him) spoke. “that’s probably a conversation you should have had already. then my kid wouldn’t be sitting here with a bloody nose.” hailey raised her eyebrows in surprise. “excuse me?” jay turned to her and met her stare with equal fierceness. “your kid pushed her to the ground! why don’t you talk to him?” jay glared at her. he was about to retort but principal mathews jumped in. “regardless, this kind of action will not be tolerated,” he stated. “i’m giving you both two weeks of detention. this can’t happen again, or i will have no choice but to suspend you. is that clear?” both kids nodded solemnly. “great. then you’re all dismissed.” hailey walked out with spencer, pulled her to a corner in the front lobby and knelt down beside her. “honey, we’ll talk about this later at home.” “i’m sorry, mommy,” spencer mumbled, rubbing her eyes where tears were starting to form. hailey pressed a kiss on her forehead. “what you did wasn’t right. but i never want you to stop standing up for yourself. we’ll just have to figure out different ways for you to do that.” spencer nodded her head. “okay. i love you, mom.” “love you too, baby,” hailey smiled, wiping away her tears. “now get back to class. i’ll pick you up after school.” her daughter sent her a bright smile and skipped off to class. hailey noticed jay was also chatting to milo, but shortly sent him back to class after wrapping him in a hug. he made eye contact with her for a second before he started walking out of the building. but after he had spoken to her in the principle’s office, she just couldn’t let him go without giving him a piece of her mind. “hey you!” she yelled in his direction, following him outside to the parking lot. she noticed his step faltered for a quick second but he didn’t stop. “don’t ignore me! i’m a lawyer, i can sue you!” at that, he finally turned around with a smirk on his face. “i’m a detective,” he explained smugly, “i know the law too, and i’m pretty sure you can’t.” hailey rolled her eyes. “whatever. i just wanted to ask you to tell your kid to stop shoving my daughter to the ground. or else maybe i will sue you.” “are you kidding me?” jay snorted incredulously. “your daughter almost broke his nose!” “because milo pushed her!” “maybe he had a reason to,” he defended, suddenly calm and sporting a smirk, “because if your daughter is anything like you, i understand why he’d want to shut her up.” hailey gasped, in shock and annoyance. “your kid is a little monster and i see where he gets it from!” “monster?” he laughed. “at least he’s not going around attempting to break noses.” hailey rolled her eyes, again. “she’s defending herself and i wouldn’t want it any other way. especially if she’s dealing with the spawn of satan.” jay raised his eyebrows. “are you implying that i’m satan?” “of course you’re satan! you’re being an ass and i don’t care that you’re unbelievably attractive! every time you speak, i want to jump in front of a bus.” for the first time since their heated conversation started, jay didn’t have anything insulting to say. instead, he stopped and really looked at her. her blonde locks were splayed down her shoulders, a little messy from her hands running through them. her blue eyes were on fire, staring at him with such an intensity, he started to laugh. “this is not funny!” hailey protested, fighting the urge to stomp her foot. she was a lawyer; she didn’t like to lose. “why am i even wasting my time here with you? i have better things to do,” she snapped, “just make sure to keep your kid in line.” jay stopped her from walking away by placing a gentle hand on her arm. “would you like to go to dinner with me?” “what?” hailey blinked at him, dumbfounded. jay was breezing through with nothing but confidence. “i know for a fact that you’re a single mother, and i also happen to find you attractive,” he explained. “and from the looks of it, you think i could use some parenting tips.” “i, well —" “you called my kid a monster,” he added with a raised eyebrow in amusement, “please?” hailey swallowed the lump in her throat. “dinner? i can do dinner.” “great!” jay smirked. “i’ll pick you up friday night. is that enough time to find a sitter?” hailey blinked in confusion. “i — what? yes, but, don’t you need my —" “i’m a detective,” his right eyelid dropped in a wink, “i’ll find you.” he walked away and hailey was left wondering how giving him hell ended up with her scoring a date.

✨

hope you guys enjoyed it! i’m not a parent so oops if i went about that the wrong way. also, sorry if it sucked 😬😬 stay safe everyone!!

#upstead #upstead fic #upstead fanfic #upstead fanfiction #upstead au #jay x hailey #jay and hailey #hailey and jay #hailey x jay #halstead x upton #upton x halstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #jesse lee soffer #tracy spiridakos #chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #one chicago

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broadstbroskis · 5 years ago

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surprises- pt 6 | mat barzal

part 5

Mat’s fingers are tracing patterns over your bump as he lies beside you in his bed and if he doesn’t stop soon, it’s going to be a problem. “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” You mumble at him.

He laughs. “Who says I can’t finish? I could go again.”

You turn to look at him, laugh on your lips. “Oh yeah?”

“Give me five minutes.” He says, but you’re not in a rush. Sure, you wouldn’t mind if he moved his hand down lower or if he’d pull you back on top of him like he had earlier in the evening, but since jumping back into bed with him a couple weeks ago, it’s been much each easier to spend time out of bed with him as well.

Even though, at this moment in time, you are technically in bed with him.

Mat’s hand stops moving, resting comfortably on your belly, which somehow, the cantaloupe in there seems to recognize as daddy and always takes as a calming influence. It’s one of the few times that they’ll seem to stop moving, when his hand is resting on your or his arm is wrapped around you or even when he’s just talking to you, and tonight is no exception. You can feel your breath start to even out and sleep start to take you, when Mat suddenly whispers, “You should move in with me.”

Well that wakes you up. “What?”

And he’s still quiet, more quiet than you’ve ever heard him, but he doesn’t back down, looking at you with a smile that matches the soft voice he’s speaking in. “You’ve been here every night I’ve been home for the last two weeks. It’s going to be easier for you after the baby to have me closer.” You open your mouth to protest but he continues. “It’s going to be way easier for me to have you close.”

“Mat-” You start, gently reaching out for him, resting your hand on his forearm.

“I don’t know what I’m doing in this.” Mat confesses. “And you just know-”

“I have no clue what I’m doing.” You admit. “I’m just happy to have you to figure it out with.”

He smiles, that same soft one from before. “Will you at least think about it? Moving in?”

You nod, trying to settle yourself in a new, comfortable position as there’s a kick against your stomach. “Yeah,” You tell him. “I’ll think about it.”

But there’s no response from Mat and when you look over, he looks completely dumbstruck. “Was that-”

You nod, sliding over toward him, even though you can’t guarantee that there will be another one. “Yeah.”

“Holy shit!” He breathes, palm moving as he tries to chase that feeling.

“Baby likes your voice.” You tell him, which makes him beam so wide that it practically lights up the dark room. “You might not feel anything else tonight.”

He kisses you, so soft and gentle that you almost don’t even reciprocate, just barely managing to return it before he’s pulling away. “That’s okay.” He’s still grinning. “I’ll catch it next time.”

He doesn’t take his hand off your belly the entire night, but that does put him in prime position to catch it next time when the baby is up and kicking first thing in the morning.

-----

Following that one time though, Mat becomes increasingly bitter as the baby starts kicking up a storm when literally anyone puts their hand on your stomach except for him. Molly and Tito almost always feel a kick, every time they reach their hands out. Brian, still a little more hesitant than the other two to touch you, gets one pretty frequently. Your brother had visited and gotten to feel, Mat’s parents and sister had stayed for a long weekend and each managed to feel something every day that they were there.

But anytime Mat reached his hand out, his large palm covering like half your huge belly, it was instantly calm. The one time there was no kicking. You were certain that whenever the baby did come out, they were coming out with Mat’s athletic genes; it was a running joke between you and Molly.

“Baby hates me.” Mat whines, lying in bed some other night, his hand resting on your stomach again, after the baby had been actively kicking for Molly, Tito, and Brian at dinner that night.

“Baby doesn’t hate you.” This is the best part of your day. When the coconut wasn't kicking your ribs or somersaulting around.

“Hates me.” He insists.

“I told you.” You tell him, moving as close to him as you can, with the bump in the way. “Baby likes the sound of your voice. It’s calming.” That does get him to smile, just a bit. “It might be one of the only times that your child isn’t beating my ribs up.”

His thumb brushes softly over the curve of your belly. “Are you beating your momma up in there?” Almost as if they could tell, Mat finally gets the kick he’s been dying for, a gentle little thing that if he hadn’t smiled at, you wouldn’t have even thought he’d felt. “You should stop that. Be nice to her in there.”

You laugh at him. “I don’t think that’s going to do it.”

“Won’t know til we try.” Mat says cheerfully and you just shake your head, so much fondness for this absolute dork.

-----

“I cannot believe you did all this.” You look around Grace and Anders’ house in awe, shocked at the baby shower that’s occurring around you.

“Oh come on.” Molly scoffs. “You can’t be mad we threw you a baby shower.”

“I’m not mad at all!” You tell her honestly. “This-this is incredible. Better than I could have dreamed.”

She beams, looping her arm through yours and resting her head on your shoulder. You smile, and lean yours against hers, watching the chaos around you.

There’s a room full of gifts, presented with tags and already unwrapped, as she’d stated she knew you wouldn’t want to sit around and waste time with any of that. One wall has two lines of pictures, one each of you and Mat, with a crowd of people studying each one, as they make guesses about what age you each were in the different pictures. At the kitchen table, Brian’s collecting money and running the pool for baby sex and date and time of birth.

But for the most part, it’s just a group of people-your friends, Mat’s friends, Mat’s family, your brother, some coworkers-just gathered to celebrate and you couldn’t have asked for a better baby shower from her. Or the rest of her accomplices. Grace is a perfect hostess, hushing you each time you try to thank you. Tito and Brian are proudly wearing those stupid Team Baby t-shirts, and what’s worse is that they did manage to get your brother one. Chris is rocking his under a flannel, showing it off to anyone who asks.

“I think they’re taking orders for more.” You mutter to Molly. Tito looks pretty suspicious over in the family room, surrounded by a few teammates.

“I don’t think you want me to tell you the real answer to that.” She says and you laugh, just as an arm drops over your shoulders.

“Does your brother have any idea how old you are?” Mat asks.

You and Molly both burst into laughter. “Probably not.” You admit and Mat gives you the most incredulous look. “He’s eight years older than me and he was gone once he left for college. Actually. A lot before then too.”

“I was gone a lot too but I know how old my sister is!” Mat cries.

“That’s a lot of shade for someone who didn’t know what she was studying in school.” You tell him and he laughs, appropriately called out.

“Alright.” He grins at you, a smile you instantly return. “Fair enough.” And then, immediately, he says, “You good, Moll?”

You turn, just in time to see your best friend’s face change from interested curiosity to a bright grin. “Yup. I mean, I’d be better if you two would have, say, given me a name, but I’ve settled. At least there’s a nursery theme.”

You and Mat both smile. She’d begged and pleaded- first, to be allowed to find out the sex, then when she’d given up on that, for you both to finally pick a nursery theme, and now, for you to just give her the name options. The only thing you’d given in on was the theme. Mat had dropped it to her one night and she had, quite literally, taken it and ran.

But she’d done great with it, constantly sending you both pictures of animal and safari themed nurseries and incorporating part of it into the shower. There was a pile of stuffed animals in the corner that she said she “had a vision for” and you were leaving her to it. She hadn’t let you down yet and you knew this wouldn’t be when she started.

“Maybe there isn’t a name yet.” Mat grins at her and you bite your lip to keep back the laugh at the face Molly makes.

“Don’t test me on this, Mathew.” She huffs at him. “You are only proving my point as to why waiting until the baby is born is a terrible idea.” She unlinks her arm from you and pushes her way over toward Grace.

“I changed my mind.” Mat says, turning to you as soon as she’s out of ear range. “If it is a girl, we can name it after her if you want.” You burst into laughter, burying your face in his shoulder. “Solely just to see the reaction she’d have if we did.”

“Nahh,” You tell him. “I don’t want to risk the overdramatics. Just in case.”

He laughs and you’re sure he knows exactly what you mean. “Cross it off the list.”

“We are doing a lot of crossing and very little adding.” You tell him, mentally thinking of the very short list of names that neither of you have nixed.

He squeezes your shoulders. “Still got time. It’ll come to us.”

“Yeah.” You smile softly at him, but that’s all you get to say about it for the rest of the party, as you’re being called away to tell the story behind one of your photos on the wall. Then it feels like it’s hours later before you get the chance to talk to Mat again, both of you pulled from person to person or group to group, eager for your attention, that you’re more than happy to share after this amazing afternoon they’ve pulled together for you.

By the time you do get to cycle back around to Mat, the party’s pretty much wrapped up, only a few stragglers left to help Grace and Anders clean up and you and Mat load up Mat’s car.

He’s actually standing outside, which is the only reason you find him. He’s out on the back porch, alone, which explains why you couldn’t find him at first and why he hadn’t responded when Tito had called out for him a few minutes ago. You slip out behind him, sliding the door shut after you and then immediately start shaking. “Mat?”

He turns, and then frowns. “What’re you doing out here? You’re shivering.” He holds his arm out, and you step into him, burrowing close.

“Looking for you.” You poke his side. “What are you doing out here?”

“Just thinking.” He says quietly, which you give a soft hmm to in response, waiting for him to continue, but he’s silent for a few moments longer. You’re just about ready to tug him inside when he takes a deep breath, and you know that he’s gearing up for something big. “Would you-” Another breath. “I know I said to take your time, and I mean that still, I do! But what would you think about moving out here?”

“With you?”

He laughs, gently. “Yeah, with me.” And it’s now that you see he’s looking around the yard and the neighborhood, checking out the space around you, compared to the building of condos you two live in. That this is likely what he’s been thinking about the entire time he’s been out here, why he disappeared in the first place.

“You want to buy a house?” You look out at what he’s been looking at for...well, who knows how long now, trying to picture it.

“I want to buy us a house.” He clarifies.

“You-” You trail off, unable to form thoughts or words or sentences.

“Look, still think about it.” Mat says. “Just-just know that this could definitely be on the table. If you want it.”

But-but it’s not just what you want, isn’t it? Isn’t that a whole thing of parenthood and adulthood and life? This is closer to the rink, closer to Mat’s practice facilities. You’ve already committed to working from home after maternity leave ends, so you’re not overly worried about the increase in time to your own work (which you are pretty sure is actually fairly small anyway). The schools are better our here- you know that was a big thing for a lot of Mat’s teammates, the whole reason they all settled out here. It’s a little terrifying, sure, to think that you’re old enough to be thinking of houses and commutes and schools, but everything’s terrifying right now. There’s another human growing inside you, for god’s sake.

You squeeze your arms around Mat. “Let’s look at some houses.”

#mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fan fic #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #hockey fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #my hockey fics #surprises series

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jaehyunspeachparty · 5 years ago

Text

daddy jaehyun

iii.xvii. (m)

"Is that you?" Eunbi held out her smartphone and showed you an article from a Korean celebrity magazine. She was a fellow student and you hadn't talked to her very much yet. She was always nice and polite and you once exchanged transcripts. She was very young, maybe 20 years old, like your little sister Mia. "Uhm yes." It was an article about Jaehyun on Return of the Superman and a picture of you was also posted. You try to read about it for a moment, but Eunbi is too excited about it. "Oh my god, I can't believe it. I was wondering all the time why you got a Korean last name. I've always been a fan of NCT. Ahhh Jaehyun and Haechan are ... were .. are my bias." She didn't quite know how to express herself so as not to look disrespectful. "To be honest, I was a little bit sad when I found out that Jaehyun had married you. But ... wow ...you look so beautiful!" She talked and talked and could hardly breathe with excitement. You had never experienced anything like this before. "Hey Eunbi, could you maybe not tell anyone? Almost nobody in the university knows that and I would love it if it stays that way. Can it remain our secret?" At some point it had to come out anyway, but you wanted to have your privacy for as long as possible. "Yes, of course, I promise. I swear!!!!" She smiled and put her books on the table. "Thanks, that's really important to me." You smile kindly and turn a little to her. "I just can't believe it. I'm studying with Miga and Sunoh's mother. I love Return of the Superman. They're both so cute." Now she sat next to you and you found it all very exciting, because you never met someone like that yourself. It was always Jaehyun who gets the reaction. You have deliberately moved away from the media, especially since your miscarriage. "Thank you, yes they are both angels." The thought of your children made your heart warm. "Jaehyun seems to be such a good dad. I'm looking forward to a new episode of Return of the Superman coming out tomorrow." She was delighted, but at that moment Matthew came to you with a female colleague. "Are you talking about Return of the Superman?" You didn't really know her, she was in a higher semester, but she may be a good friend of Matthew's. "Yes. Do you watch the series too?" Eunbi smiled kindly and she was just cute in her way. But the other student laughed contemptuously. "What? No. I'm not looking at how parents sell their children to subordinate themselves to capitalist social structures." You had to cough after this statement and hope that you don't react too obviously. "Oh no, it's cute." Eunbin looked at the other woman in shock and tried to defend you also a little. "What is sweet about it? Let us now congratulate the men that they are finally get to know their children? In reality, women are still forced to stay at home in our society. In addition, how should the children lead a normal life? Especially those of former idols. They are already being put in the spotlight and what will become of them later. Like their parents idols? Are they also sexualized? When does that start? " You don't know what to say, you were simply shocked and couldn't say a word. But you didn't have to say anything because Mathew spoke. "In our pluralistic value system, it goes without saying that such things develop. But I am shocked that such industries still sell women and men, portray them as sex objects. Politics only want to keep us from the real problems with such conversations and everyone who supports this supports capitalism and the restriction of democracy." Eunbi looked at the two in shock. "Why do you put that on a political level? Can't someone just enjoy the music and the entertainment without losing social values?" This sweet soul was not only lovely but also super intelligent. "If you consume and support everything, you promote sexism and political secrecy. Who benefits from all of this?" Slowly this debate was too much for you and you feel more and more uncomfortable. "But that's normal business. I still enjoy their music and admire the work of the groups." Eunbin not only defended you and your husband, but also yourself. "Nevertheless, you support sexism and slavery. We have been fighting for women's rights for years and there we see girls jumping on stage in short skirts. They correspond to an ideal that we are not all. For example, I could not be tattooed." She pulled her sleeve up and she could see that her arm was completely tattooed, but then she pointed to you. "Or it would not be okay to be a bit fatter liker her...” She points to you. “...because a flat stomach and a very thin figure are required." You then had to cough. Apparently no one really noticed that you were pregnant, they just think you have just gained some weight. "Hey, that's going too far." Eubin was really angry now and at this moment you get a message from Jaehyun that he was in front of the university. "I'm sorry, I have to go now, unfortunately." You get up and smile. "Yes me too, I still have to learn." Eubin also got up and you leave the cafe together.

"I hope you don't take what they say seriously." Eunbi looked at you with concern and you both slowly left the campus. "No, I can't take things seriously from people who don't know what they're talking about." You smile and Eunbi seems calm. "And you're not fatter. If then it is me." She looks down at her sadly. Eunbi was a bit firmer and she took it all to heart. "That shouldn't be important. She should never have said a comment anyway." You smile and notice how angry Eunbi is. That's why you're trying to calm her down. When you were in the parking lot, you can already see the car, with darkened glasses, that had your license plate. "Jaehyun is already there, should we take you somewhere?" She was so nice all the time and you wanted to reciprocate. "What? No, no. I live here in a student dorm, that's only a bus station away." She smiled and you see the car door open and Jaehyun get out. "Shall we really not take you home." You wanted to offer it to her, but her eyes suddenly grew big and you feel Jaehyun's hand around your waist. Eunbi squeaked softly, turned stiffly and quickly ran away without saying anything. You had to laugh and turn to Jaehyun. "How are you? How are the two?" He kissed you gently and his hands stroked your stomach. "We're fine. Are you ready to see our babies?" You smile and put your hands over his neck. "I can’t wait any longer." He kissed you again and then you set off.

It was your next big check-up at the gynecologist. It was the next important appointment in which you will now find out whether everything is going according to plan. Since you can feel the little ones, you are now less worried than before. Jaehyun was almost more excited than you. When you were talking to the doctor, he held your hand all the time and you notice how restless he got. When the doctor started the ultrasound examination, he only looked at the screen. And when the gynecologist put the device on your stomach and you could see the two of them moving, you were completely fascinated. "I will now check the umbilical cord, the cervix, the amount of amniotic fluid, the placenta and the organs." She tried to explain everything to you, but you were only focused on the screen. You can feel the babies moving, but seeing it at the same time made you so happy. "I would now start with the 3D / 4D ultrasound. I have to know beforehand whether you want to know the gender or not." She replaced the device and you feel Jaehyun stroking your head. "We don't want to know it." You smile and the doctor immediately noted this in her files. "Okay, I'm starting now." You look at the screen again and you could hardly believe it. First, you could see their little feet. They were so tiny and while one baby was kicking, the other had crossed the little legs. Then the doctor zoomed in on their face. You could already see so much, there were just two little people in you. "Oh is that a dimple?" The calmer baby was now sucking on his thumb and it looked as if there was dimple on the cheek. "Maybe, but it doesn't have to be." The doctor examined everything further, but you don't really get any of it because it felt like a dream. "Imagine they would get your dimples as well as Sunoh." You smile and feel Jaehyun kiss your forehead. When the doctor zoomed out further, you could now see the whole stomach and you can see how close the two were. They lay side by side, head to head. It was incredibly cute. "Mr. and Mrs. Jung, the babies are in perfect condition. Everything seems to be perfect. There are no abnormalities. The babies have a perfect size and weight for twins. We are still waiting for your blood test, but I will only check your Blood sugar and iron level. But the babies are really fine." You were incredibly relieved to hear that. The gynecologist sent you the videos and photos by email and you head back to the car. "I am so relieved that everything is fine." You smile and buckle up. "Me too. I can't wait to show the kids." He looked at you and kissed you. At that moment you just feel happiness.

It was late now, but Johnny had managed to get all the children ready for bed. You were really excited that he had all three under control so well. "And they're in there?" Miga looks at the 3D ultrasound and cannot believe it. She taps your stomach and you can feel how one of the babies reacted to their sister. It's so sad for you that nobody else could feel it. Sunoh also had his hands on your stomach and giggled. "Yeah, they're in Mummie's stomach." Jaehyun stroked his daughter's back and smiled. "Where are you?" She leaned forward and palpated you. "One is here and one is here." You draw along your stomach and Miga was totally thrilled. Her reaction was very different now than it was with Sunoh. But at that time she was still an only child and now she had developed into such a great big sister. "When can they get out?" She continued to ask curiously while Sunoh was already falling asleep in your arms. "It takes a little while, they have to grow a little bit. Now they are too small." This time Jaehyun explained it to her and slowly put her in bed. "Tell them to grow faster. I want to play with them." She giggled and you kiss her. After Miga had also fallen asleep, you two put Sunoh in bed and then goes down to the living room. "Would you like to watch another movie?" You ask your husband, he nodded and you make yourself comfortable on the couch together. You sit in front of him, your shoulder lies on his stomach, so he could stroke your belly. You pull a blanket over yourself because you have already gotten cold and you go through the films that are available. "Hey, can I join too?" Johnny came to you and Jaehyun waved him on the couch. You keep looking and in the end, you agree on a film that Johnny and you thought was good but Jaehyun found a little boring.

Halfway through the movie, you hear a sigh and you know Jaehyun didn't think the movie was great. But you keep watching it when you suddenly feel Jaehyun's fingers a little further down and suddenly under your panties. You press your lips together when he starts massaging your clit under the blanket and you look briefly at Johnny, who was almost asleep. Jaehyun didn't respond at all, just kept looking at the TV. If the feeling gets too intense, you clear your throat to suppress your moaning. But Jaehyun didn't massage you too hard, so you won't get to orgasm right away. In between, he stopped and left you behind. But then he kept starting teasing you again. He then put a finger in you and you feel how needy you already are because your muscles around him contract tightly. You look up at him, but he keeps staring at the television, but at the same time you feel how he put his second finger in you and slowly you can't stand it any longer. "Jaehyun ..." You whisper while he only gives you a kiss on the head in response. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you and starts massaging your clit again. You went crazy, your whole body reacted. It felt like your whole panties were already completely wet. But then suddenly you hear Johnny and you startle for a moment. "Hmm, I think I should go to bed. Good night." He got up, yawned, and then left the living room. You wait until you hear the door that locked. Then you turn around very quickly and sit on Jaehyun's lap. "How can you tease me like this?" You put your hands on his chest and he just grinned. "It's your own fault if you choose such a boring film." He put his hands on the upper side of your thigh and pushed your sweater dress up so that your ass is free. "What if Johnny had noticed?" You start to grind on his middle and you can hardly stand the tension anymore. "That never bothered you in the dorm before." He winked and grabbed your ass. He was right, at that time he had done it often and you both had found it exciting to test limits. "Shit Jaehyun, I need your dick. Now. Inside me." He immediately took off his shirt as you pull his sweatpants down further. His length immediately jumped out and you don't hesitate a second and raise your hips to place it in front of you. Jaehyun put his hand on your ass again and pulled your panties aside with his fingers so that they weren't in the way. You sit down and feel full lust when you have completely absorbed his dick. "Fuck, you make me so hard." Jaehyun groaned and threw his head back. You put your hands on his chest to support yourself and start riding him. The feeling was incredible and you feel how you got closer to your climax. Jaehyun was louder this time too, his moans made it more intense. At some point, he wants more from you. While riding him but throwing your head back. He pushed your dress up so far that your breasts were free. He was playing with your swollen nipples and you feel that your orgasm would come soon. You wanted to lean forward to ride him faster, but when you lean your head forward again, you see someone standing in the room. "JAINA!" You cried out and quickly pulled your dress down. Jaehyun also turned and looked at the little girl who was staring at you with wide eyes. "Shit." Jaehyun swore as you climb down from him. You straighten your dress and walk towards the girl. Then suddenly she started to cry. "Mummy." She was looking for her mother because she missed her and you were so sorry for all of this. "Come on my little one, we're going to your daddy." She rubbed her eyes and nodded.

Slowly you go back to the guest room with her and wake up Johnny, who then takes care of Jaina again. You go up and see Jaehyun waiting for you. "It can't go on like this. We can't do anything in our house anymore. We should enjoy the time before the twins come." You go up to him and kiss him. "It won't be long anymore." You try to calm him down, but Jaehyun was already pissed off. "But it's enough for me now.”

daddy jaehyun masterlist

#jaehyun #daddy jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun jung #nct #nct smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct fluff #nct 127 fluff

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dayscrazed · 4 years ago

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Chain of Iron Countdown- Hamilton Parodies

Every day until COI release day, March 2nd, I will be posting a new Hamilton parody based on the characters from The Last Hours book series.

16 Days: WHAT’D I MISS? Thomas= Jefferson

15 Days: MY SHOT James= Hamilton, Thomas= Lafayette, Christopher= Mulligan, Matthew= Larens, Charles= Aaron Burr

Inspired by: Chain of Gold p. 136- “James took a deep breath. “I am going to deliberately send myself into the shadow realm,” he said. The Merry Thieves exploded in a chorus of protest.”

JAMES: I am not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm dark, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot I'ma get a clubhouse at Devil’s Tavern I probably shouldn't brag, but dang, I brood and look stern The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish I gotta holler just to be heard With every word, I drop knowledge I'm a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal Tryna reach my goal my demonic blood, unimpeachable Only seventeen but my mind is older These London City streets get colder, I shoulder Every burden, every disadvantage I have learned to manage, I don't have a demon to banish We walk these streets famished The plan is to fan this spark into a flame But damn, it's getting dark, so let me spell out my name I am the J-H- E-R- O-N- D- A-L e hell is calling me But this city that runs independently Meanwhile, other Hunters keep shittin' on us endlessly Essentially, they mock us relentlessly Then Belial turns around, runs a killin’ spree He ain't ever gonna set his descendants free So there will be a revolution in this century Enter me,

MATHEW, THOMAS, CHRISTOPHER: he says in parentheses

JAMES: Don't be shocked when your history book mentions me I will lay down my life if it sets us free Eventually, you'll see my ascendancy And I am not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm dark, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot MERRY THIEVES: I am not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm dark, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot It's time to take a shot

THOMAS: I dream of life without hierarchy The unrest in Spain will lead to anarchy? Anarchy- how they say, in Paris, oh anarchy? When I fight, I make the other side panicky With my, shot

CHRISTOPHER: Yo, I'm a scientist’s apprentice And I got a new experiment it’ll be momentous I'm joining the inventors 'cause I know it's my chance To socially advance, instead of usin’ a lance (woo) I'm gonna take a shot

MATTHEW: And but we'll never be truly free Until those with demon blood have the same rights as you and me You and I Do or die Wait 'til I sally in on a stallion With the first Downworld battalion Have another shot

CHARLES: Geniuses, lower your voices You keep out of trouble and you double your choices I'm with you, but the situation is fraught You've got to be carefully taught If you talk, you're gonna get shot

JAMES: Charles, check what we got Mister Lightwood, hard rock like Lancelot I think your beakers look hot Matthew, I like you a lot Let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot What are the odds the gods would put us all in one spot Poppin' a squat on conventional wisdom, like it or not A bunch of revolutionary manumission abolitionists? Give me a position, show me where the ammunition is Oh, am I talkin' too loud? Sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouth I never had a group of friends before I promise that I'll make y'all proud

MATTHEW: Let's get this guy in front of a crowd MERRY THIEVES: I am not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm dark, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm dark, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot MATTHEW: Everybody sing Whoa, whoa, whoa Ayy, whoa (woo), whoa MATTHEW: Should let 'em hear ya (yeah) Let's go Whoa, whoa, whoa MATTHEW: I said shout it to the rooftops Whoa, whoa, whoa MATTHEW: Said, to the rooftops Whoa, whoa, whoa A-come on (yeah) Come on, let's go MATTHEW: Rise up When you're living on your knees, you rise up Tell your brother that he's gotta rise up Tell your sister that she's gotta rise up When are these Shadowhunters gonna rise up? (Whoa, whoa) When are these Shadowhunters gonna rise up? (Whoa) When are these Shadowhunters gonna rise up? (Whoa) When are these Shadowhunters gonna rise up? Rise up

JAMES: I imagine hell so much it feels more like a memory When's it gonna get me? In my sleep, seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin', do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody? See, I never thought I'd have friends plenty With my family, I thought I’d get half as many Ask anybody why we livin' fast and we laugh, reach for a flask We have to make this moment last, that's duty Scratch that this is not a moment, it's the movement Where all the hungriest brothers with something to prove went? Foes oppose us, we take an honest stand We roll like Moses, claimin' our promised land And? If we win against the demons? Is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants? Or will the blood we shed begin an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendants? I know the action in the street is excitin' But Angel, between all the bleedin' 'n' fightin' I've been readin' 'n' writin' We need to handle our quarantine situation Are we an enclave of hunters, what's the state of our nation? I'm past patiently waitin' I'm passionately smashin' every expectation Every action's an act of creation I'm laughin' in the face of casualties and sorrow For the first time, I'm thinkin' past tomorrow

MERRY THIEVES: And I am not throwin' away my shot I am not throwin' away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm dark, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot We're gonna rise up (time to take a shot) I am not throwin' away my shot We're gonna rise up (time to take a shot) I am not throwin' away my shot We're gonna, rise up, rise up It's time to take a shot Rise up, rise up It's time to take a shot Rise up, it's time to take a shot Rise up, take a shot, shot, shot It's time to take a shot, time to take a shot And I am not throwin' away my Not throwin' away my shot

#chain of iron countdown #chain of iron #hamilton parody #coi #hamilton book parody #the merry thieves #james herondale #Matthew Fairchild #thomas lightwood #christopher lightwood #charles fairchild #the last hours #tlh #my shot

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siremasterlawrence · 5 years ago

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Dad Games #1 - Tyler Tuck.

“Ugh! I hate this feeling.” I whisper to my best friend Jack, who is going through something very similar. “Can I claim him really?” I ask very surprised by my friends suggestion I can’t believe my ears. My Best friend Jack Lance Benson shrugs his shoulders in a bought of total indifference.

“Why not? I want your dad an if you let me have him, then you can have mine easily no backsies.” Jack answers happily knowing full well I can make it happen, but in all honesty how could I resist. His father Malcom Mathew Benson is one fine specimen, super hot, sexy, and well built.

Absolutely not a man with a dad bod at all he is the peak of perfection, and along most I have met actually quite nice. “Go for it.” Jack excitedly demands I do it, and with that I make the plans. I knew it could not fail must the plan to the exact moment, I slip a small metallic box from my pocket, and hand him one vial.

“Inject him in neck with this vial of hypnotic serum when he sits, and the nano bites will travel straight to the bloodstream. The Nono technology bites will automatically stick to the dna strands. The structure of the dna changes to simple single strands of super impervious material. Jack sits in wonder marveling at my presentation.

“What will happen afterwords?” Jack ask me a little to in to the idea of this, I smile a bit out of excitement, but also partly evil thoughts. “He sinks down in a deep slumber opening

his mind on to a new level, from them on you can program till he awakens again.” I tell him wagging my fingers to make me point as small as it was.

My friend thanks me patting my shoulder as he exits the park,and I have one last moment questioning my own morality. The fleeting moment leaves me as soon as it comes, in

the mean time I head back home to await the success of his efforts. It is eleven thirty in the morning an my body shifts out of dream mode to life.

My cell phone glowing brightly with my best friends name, and number coaxing me awake.

I press the screen watching in amazement the text saying S.O.S. I roll my eyes scrolling down to see his a picture is his dad in his best suit laying across the chair. I shake my head at

his bizarre sense of flash trying to get my attention.

I quickly take a shower, get dress and jump out of the window of my apartment not wanting to wake anybody up. I race over to my friends backyard opening the door to the shock of my life. His dad still in the same position with no one their insight, I notice the letter on the ting table holding him up. “Start ignition.” I read out .

I randomly to no one in particular throwing the piece paper in to the trash can. I sigh taking a deep a breath lifting my legs over his lap, and

I settle on him sitting down. “Mr. Benson you are so hot to me, I want you so bad.” I happily say to him. I can feel his breathing stir up under him.

His body heaving up, and down under my ass.

“You shall have me.” He replies eyes still close in deep slumber, I begin to straddle him with my ass. He moans out loud crazily rubbing his ass over the chair in return. I stand back up to my feet taking in his figure, he wakes up under my control.

“I love you, Master Lawrence.” My new slave Malcom fully resuscitated to being aware.

“ I love you too Malcom.” I reply turning away from him, he takes hold on my waist position me to look at him. We kiss on the lips sparking a deep seeded fire that ignites within his body.

“What can I do for you Master?” Malcom tries to hold on long enough for me to react, but he can’t.

“Malcom will address me Master always, then you will answer me Sir Yes Sir, and obey all of my commands. Malcom Benson is madly in love with me, and I am his King on all things in his life. Malcom willingly gives me all he has, and owns forever.” I program in to his mind so easily. Malcom smiles at me kissing me slowly, tenderly, and emotionally.

He is all mine to use as I see fit and to please me in all ways. My friend Jack receives a text from me upon inspection of the message his mind goes blank. His eyes turn in to spirals spinning around like crazy, he stands in the middle of park mind stripped. Return to your house immediately, do not stop anywhere.

Jack Benson automatically walks off from the scene of my park, leaving his book bag in the dust. He makes his way passing people in a Hypno blitz of mind altering purportions rain over him. I can see the door open up in the kitchen area, Jack walks in to the room stands motionless.

He is a robot now ultimately devoid of any an all thoughts, feelings of emotions and desires in life. “I am here to obey.” He throws out on his heels standing in front of me as I laugh is hard. A evil, dark, boisterously loud laugh hits the walls bouncing around the walls over and over again.

The end.

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allmidaddies · 4 years ago

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woke up in 4.

“How is he taking it?” Jasmine asked cautiously, her tone telling you that she knew on some level that there was tension between the two of you. You only offered a shrug in response,

“As well as one would expect.”

Jasmine rolled her eyes but you didn’t catch it, too busy mulling over whether you should pack Mat’s hoodies or return them to their rightful owner.

“Maybe he’ll come chasing after you in the airport as you board your flight, finally confessing his undying love for you,” Jasmine joked, missing the way your face twisted in pain at her words. She still didn’t know that Mat had already done that. And that’s what was making this so hard.

“Do you think I’m making the right decision?” You asked quietly. Jasmine stopped what she was doing, taking a deep breath.

“Babe.”

“Like I know I am, at least in terms of my career and building my resume, but what about in terms of life?” You elaborated. Jasmine took a seat on your bed,

“You can never be sure.”

You gave an airy laugh, stuffing the hoodies into a box at your feet.

“You can never know one hundred percent that you’re making the right decision,” Jasmine continued, ignoring your scoff, “But you have to trust your gut. If it feels right it feels right. Life works itself out and I know that sounds cliche and corny and whatever but it’s true. You can’t be afraid to lose control just a little bit. Nothing will ever go to plan exactly how you want it but you’ll always end up where you’re supposed to be with the people you’re supposed to be with.”

You chewed on your lip, a habit that had become increasingly worse over the last few days of packing and sorting through logistics of your move.

The problem was that you didn’t know if the decision felt right. It certainly sounded like the right move to make but you couldn’t tell if the feeling in your gut was your intuition or your anxiety. If Mat could just stop being so damn selfish for five minutes you might be able to confess to someone that you didn’t know whether you were doing the right thing. But he was MIA and you were going to have to figure it out without him.

Mat was up with the sun, slipping into running clothes as quietly as possible in the early hour. It had been four days since you’d dropped the news on him, only six left until you were gone. The guilt in his chest seemed to grow heavier with each day that passed, tenfold whenever a text of yours went unanswered.

Y/N: can we please talk?

Y/N: i can’t go through this without my best friend

Y/N: mat please

Y/N: i’m still going to be there for you, i promise

He was trying to be rational and supportive through it all but there was so much pain in his chest that he could barely breathe most days. It was a feeling so foreign to him he didn’t know how to deal. He’d thrown himself into his training and was running every morning to try and clear his mind, exhaust his body so that he could find sleep. You weren’t even gone yet and life was already harder without you.

Things felt unfinished with you and Mat. After all the years you’d spent together you thought he’d at least be able to push his feelings aside to be proud of you and celebrate this time with you. He had been waiting his whole life to fall in love and to have you and now that he had finally found the courage to tell you how he felt you were slipping through his fingers.

He was so proud of you and he wanted you to get everything that you deserved but he couldn’t help but believe that you deserved him. Of course, love didn’t pay the bills. You had worked hard for your degree, he knew that first hand. But what did Nashville have to offer you besides a paycheck? Would you find community there? Would you have friends who you could call after you had a bad day? Who would you go out with on Friday nights? Who would get up early with you to go hiking on Sunday mornings? Would you be completely alone out there with no shoulder to lean on?

That was what Mat couldn’t stomach. That was why he appeared so selfish in not wanting you to go. But, at the end of the day you were as stubborn as he was. You were going to do what you wanted to do and he wasn’t going to stop you.

Mat’s feet hit the pavement, wet from the rain the night before. By the looks of it the clouds were moving east and the sun would return come afternoon. He didn’t even know how long he’d been running for, completely zoned out. It felt like the only time he wasn’t suffocated by the thought of you leaving.

Life had seemed so perfect after the wedding. You were in love with him the way he was in love with you. He was supposed to go up to training camp and come home to you, where he would finally be able to call you his. What he had come back to was so far from that. It might not have been so bad if he had had a warning. If the thought of you potentially moving somewhere other than New York had even been on his radar. But it wasn’t. He’d had no idea.

Mat finally came to a stop at the park, realizing just how tired his legs were. He had to be ten miles from home by this point. The sun had fully risen and he checked the time. He lifted his arms over his head, trying to catch his breath. Whatever song was playing through his airpods was giving him a headache so he yanked them out, only to hear his name being called from behind.

“Mathew Barzal, what does a girl have to do to get your attention?” Your all too familiar voice had him chuckling to himself. For a moment he forgot all of his troubles. He turned to face you, a smile on his face,

“Couldn’t catch me or what?”

“Your stride is twice as long, your speed three times as quick. That’s quite unfair,” you smiled up at him, blocking the sun with your hand. Your skin was glistening, having clearly been on your own run. The universe was really teasing him now, crossing your paths like this.

“Plus I had to let you grow tired, that way you can’t run from me again,” you added, voice sounding more pained than before. Mat took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair,

“Babe I’m sorry.”

Your heart flipped at the pet name, Mat didn’t even notice he’d said it.

“I’m just scared, ya know,” he said honestly, slowing his steps so you could fall in with him, “I’ve never had to do this without you.”

“Mat,” you sighed, “I’m moving to Nashville, I’m not dying.”

Mat laughed, gently pushing your shoulder,

“I know that. But you won’t be ten minutes away anymore.”

“When did it ever take you ten minutes to get to me?” You teased, “It was at least thirty on a light traffic day.”

“You’re ruining my sentiment,” Mat grinned, clearly not upset with you.

“Sorry,” you pretended to zip your lips.

“I am so proud of you, and they’re so lucky to have you, but I’m going to miss you,” he said, “I mean...I love you after all.”

Now that he’d told you he loved you he couldn’t stop saying it. It rolled off of his tongue so easily, like a river down a mountain side.

“I promise I won’t let this drive a wedge between us,” you said, “I know we’ve never had to deal with this before but you’re my best friend and I’m not going to forget about you just because I’m in a new city. Because...for the record….I love you too. In case you didn’t know.”

Over the next few days Mat managed to push his feelings aside, at least during the light of the day. You were right, you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. And if he loved you, and he did, he would be there for you. Even if it meant helping you pack and lugging boxes down the stairs and into the shipping container in the middle of a heat wave.

However, he’d rather do that a hundred times over than have to face the last night with you in town. You’d asked him to come over before heading out to see some friends. Mat felt his heart tug, the way it always had when you invited him to your place. It was such a simple gesture but time alone with you was time he cherished. Now more than ever.

Mat let himself in, like he’d done a million times before. The house was eerily quiet, your family not back yet from work and his footsteps seemed to echo off the walls.

“Hey you,” you smiled, poking your head around your bedroom door. Mat managed to smile in return, pulling you into his chest as you bumped the door open wider for him. All the photos in your room had been taken down, the only things left were the bags you were taking on the plane and a box by your bed.

“This is so weird,” Mat said, letting out a heavy sigh, carding his fingers through his hair.

“I know,” you sat on the bed, wringing your hands out as Mat surveyed what was left.

“So what’s up?” He asked, leaning against the wall, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Um,” you coughed awkwardly, Mat raising his eyebrows.

“These, uh, are yours.”

Mat’s eyes shifted down to the box you were pushing towards him, filled with hoodies and t-shirts of his you had claimed over the years.

“Wha-” he could barely keep his jaw from dropping to the ground in shock, running his hands over his face to hide his emotions.

“I just figured, ya know, I won’t be ten minutes away from you anymore so it won’t be so easy for you to steal them back,” you said gently. Mat nodded, clearing his throat,

“Yeah, no, uh, for sure.”

He bent down, rifling through the items you’d stolen from him. Some pieces dated back to even before he was with the Thunderbirds, and of course old hoodies he used to love but loved on you even more so he never asked for them back.

“You sure were a thief,” he chuckled, not lifting his gaze to you. This felt like a kick in the chest.

“Are you sure you don’t want this one?” He asked, lifting an Adidas jacket you’d taken only a few years back. You wet your lips before tugging your bottom one between your teeth.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I mean, we’re not together or anything so…”

It was a lame reason, you both knew it.

“That never stopped you before,” Mat gave an empty chuckle.

“Mat,” you mumbled, picking at your nails.

“I know,” Mat sighed, “I know, just didn’t expect you would give these back is all.”

You fell quiet, unsure of what to say. Mat didn’t seem to mind, he was busy reminiscing over the clothes he’d leant you over the years.

“Are you sure you don’t want a jacket?” Mat asked, watching you bound down the stairs, dressed in a pair of denim shorts for the bonfire at Jordan Eberle’s house.

“Mat you sound like my mother,” you laughed, gently patting his face. Mat dodged your hand as best he could, trying not to stare disrespectfully as you brushed past him.

“All I know is I’m bringing a jacket and if you get cold I am not giving it up,” he said, leaning against the door, keys in his hand.

You rolled your eyes at him, knowing that he’d be draping his jacket around your shoulders before you even asked if he saw so much as a single shiver run through you.

True to his history, you were curled up around the fire, nursing your third drink of the night. Mat was seated on the other end of the patio furniture from you, but he had your feet in his lap. The fire may have been making your face warm, nothing burned quite like the touch of his hands against your skin.

A breeze blew through and you felt goosebumps raise across your body, all the way down to your toes. Mat took notice, his eyes falling on you with a knowing look in his eyes.

“Stop,” you whined, pretending to kick him gently. Mat gripped your ankle, stilling your movements.

“It’s okay to admit I’m right you know,” he grinned, already reaching to tug off his hoodie.

“I’m not cold,” you protested, sipping your drink. Mat wasn’t listening, the hoodie already pulled off and airborne in your direction. It hit your face, spilling the liquid that was caught on the rim.

“Mat!” You hissed, reaching over to swat his shoulder, but not wanting to interrupt the story that was being told across the fire.

“Just put on the damn sweatshirt and come over here,” Mat chuckled, extending his arm over the back of the seat you were sharing. You rolled your eyes but you did oblige, inhaling his signature cologne as you tugged the soft material over your head. Carefully, you crawled to the other end, nestling yourself against his chest. You caught Tito’s eye over the flames and he had a knowing grin on his face. You resisted the urge to look up and see if Mat noticed, assuming that he probably did. You just wanted to enjoy that moment, not think about the what if, just have Mat’s arms around you.

Mat kept running his fingers over the soft grey material, trying to hold onto the memory and bring back the moment.

“We should probably head out soon,” you said, breaking him from his thoughts. Mat nodded in agreement, pushing himself to stand with a groan and a loud crack from both of his knees. He lifted the box easily, carrying it down the stairs as you led the way to the car.

Your friends were having a bonfire, fittingly enough, for your last night in Vancouver. Mat wasn’t the only person who was going to miss you. Plus, it was sort of tradition that any time someone of your friend group was leaving you celebrated their achievements and the new chapter of their life.

Mat had been dreading this night for the last few days, as soon as he heard that Tyson and a few of the other guys were planning on hosting it. He planned on nursing a single beer for as long as possible, designating himself as the sober driver so that he could excuse himself from drinking in excess and he could make sure you got home in one piece.

Watching you parade around the party, saying goodbye to friends was painful. The only thing getting him through was the smile on your face as you talked about how excited you were for the new opportunity. What he didn’t know, though, was that even as you spoke on what was to come with a wide grin there was a sinking feeling in your stomach that you couldn’t quite ignore. Instead of listening to what you intuition was trying to tell you, you helped yourself to a drink. Something to ease your nerves and get you through the night. This was the last time you would see these people for a while and you weren’t going to let anxiety step on your fun.

“Holding up?” Tyson’s voice earned Mat’s attention as he sat on the back step of the house. Tyson made himself comfortable beside him, a beer in his own hand.

“What? Yeah,” Mat shrugged him off, “All good.”

Tyson knew better than to believe what Mat was trying so hard to convey. While the two of them had been up at training camp Mat had let it slip to Tyson that he’d told you he loved you. He couldn’t keep it to himself and he had thought that when he got back to Coquitlam he would be coming back to you. Loose lips sink ships apparently. However that saying could be applied here.

“You don’t have to kid me, man,” Tyson said, “I know it’s eating you up inside.”

“Fuck,” Mat cursed, “It’s just so...I don’t want to say unfair because she deserves this, you know, but it’s fucked up that it had to happen now. It’s like we can’t ever have both.”

“So you guys aren’t gonna try it?” Tyson asked. Mat shook his head,

“We never really talked about it and then she gave me all my hoodies back today, just another reminder that she’s not mine.”

Tyson nodded slowly, staring out over the lawn and watching as you dropped yourself into a chair beside Jasmine.

“If it’s meant to be you’ll be back together, though,” Tyson said. He made it sound so easy. Mat was anything but patient.

“I keep trying to tell myself that, because as crazy as it sounds I know we’re going to end up together. I don’t see myself with anyone else,” Mat said, leaning back on his palms. His eyes were locked on you, watching your smile as you laughed. He couldn’t hear it but he could feel it. Right in the center of his chest.

“That’s why this sucks so much. It’s the waiting that kills me.”

“That’s heavy,” Tyson breathed out, looking over at Mat who could only give a shrug.

“Sorry to rain on the parade,” Mat chuckled, “You asked.”

“It’s going to happen for you guys,” Tyson said, his tone sounding so sure of it. Mat decided to hang on to that, keep that belief for himself.

“Don’t waste this last night feeling sorry for yourself, though,” Tyson said, patting Mat on the shoulder, “Celebrate your girl, man.”

As the hour grew later Mat could see you rubbing your hands over your arms, goosebumps scattered across your skin. He chuckled to himself, disappearing to go back out to his truck and get you one of the jackets from the box.

“Where are you going?” Your voice sounded panicked as he leaned over the second row of seats, retrieving a grey hoodie. You had followed him out as soon as you saw his head disappear in the house. He’d been pretty quiet all night, letting you make the most of your night with the friends you hadn’t spent every day of summer with. You’d lost your shoes at some point and the pavement of the driveway was cold against the bottom of your feet as you danced back and forth.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Mat said, settling back on the ground again and slamming the door shut. He extended the sweatshirt to you, a knowing look on his face.

“I don’t-”

“Yeah you do,” Mat smiled, slipping the hoodie over your head. You blew your hair out of your face in a huff, pouting up at him as you shoved your arms through the sleeves.

“Better?”

“Yes,” you grumbled, wrapping your arms around his waist. Mat could tell you’d had a few drinks but you weren’t anywhere near drunk. Mostly at the point where you were tired and ready to lay in bed. Your hands were running up and down his back, chills erupting across his skin to the point he almost grabbed another hoodie from the box.

“You tired?” He asked, brushing your hair back. You nodded,

“Yeah, but I feel bad leaving my own party. It’s not even ten yet.”

Mat checked his watch, seeing that it was barely 9:30. It felt like the sun had set ages ago, not just within the hour.

“But I know something we could do to pass the time,” you said, batting your lashes up at him. Mat’s heart stopped. He knew exactly what you were talking about and it had him suppressing a groan.

“Babe I don’t know…” he trailed off, eyes searching your face.

“Mat,” you said softly, “I really want you right now.”

Mat swallowed thickly. He felt the same way, he had wanted you for a long time. And he just wanted to feel close to you before you were gone.

“Are you drunk?” He asked, not looking to take advantage of you in a compromised state. You shook your head,

“No. I’ve only had two ciders. I want to remember this night,” you said, hands roaming the expanse of his chest, feeling his hard muscles beneath the thin material. You’d been watching him all night, stealing glances as you chatted with your friends. Every time he ran his fingers through his hair had you crossing your legs, and each time his tongue ran across his lips you were forcing yourself to look away. This might be the last night you ever got to be with him and you wanted to make the most of it.

Mat sucked in a breath, the heat between your bodies evident.

“Maybe we should find a room then,” he said, “So I can give you something to remember.”

You and Mat crept into the house, careful of anyone who might be lurking. There were a few of the guys Mat trained with who were staying in the house for the summer and while most of the rooms were occupied there was a guest room on the second floor, tucked back at the end of the hall. It was just a matter of whether someone else had beat you to it.

You narrowly avoided Jasmine in the kitchen with a few of your other friends, gently shoving Mat towards the stairs. He made sure to skip the step that creaked, his hand never leaving yours.

By the time you reached the, thankfully, empty bedroom your heart was beating out of your chest.

Mat’s hands found your waist, pushing the material of the hoodie up so he could feel your skin where the material of your shorts stopped. Draping your hands around the back of his neck, you pulled him down to you, your lips finally meeting. Mat walked you backward until your knees hit the mattress and he caught you before you fell completely, gently laying you down.

With his weight now settled between your legs you needed him more than ever. The friction of your shorts was not enough. Mat moved to press open mouth kisses along your throat, feeling your body arch up into him for as much contact as possible. He pushed the sweatshirt up and you lifted it over your head along with the top you’d been wearing. Mat dragged his eyes down your body, fingers moving to work on your shorts. Once you were lying beneath him in just your bra and panties he couldn’t help but stare, appreciating just how beautiful you looked.

For once there was nothing on his mind except you. Just you.

He rid himself of his shirt and his shorts before scooting you up the bed. He captured your lips with his once again, his hand slipping between your bodies so that he could rub your clit over your panties.

“Mat,” you whined against his lips, desperate to feel him. He slipped his hand behind your back to unclip your bra, tossing it aside as his lips moved down your throat and across your chest. Your fingers tangled in his hair as he wrapped his lips around your nipple, biting gently before flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud.

Though it was the first time you’d ever had sex with Mat he seemed to know your body better than anyone else you’d ever been with. He was barely even touching you and your body was on fire.

By the time he finally hooked his fingers around your panties you were practically dripping. Mat spread your legs, large hands sliding over your thighs. He lifted his gaze to meet yours, the moonlight coming in through the window giving you all the light you needed to admire his features. There was a mix of emotions in his eyes that you couldn’t quite read but when he pressed his lips along the inside of your thighs your eyes fell shut and pure bliss flooded your veins.

Mat certainly knew what he was doing with his tongue, devouring you like it really was the last supper. He wanted to savor this feeling, taking his sweet time to bring you to your first orgasm. Each stroke of his tongue had you gasping, bottom lip bitten between your teeth, the grip on his hair growing tighter.

“You taste so good baby,” Mat hummed, vibrations felt all the way down to your toes.

“Mat, please,” you whimpered, choking back the moans in an effort to stay quiet. There was still a party happening outside but neither of you were concerned. You were more concerned with the fact that you could feel a fire burning in your belly, Mat fucking you with his tongue at the perfect pace to bring you to your high. He brought you through it with a combination of encouraging words and running his hands along your skin softly.

As you caught your breath he crawled back up your body, chin glistening. You caught the back of his neck and brought him down to you once again. You could never keep him away from you for too long.

Your hand dipped between your bodies then to palm him over his boxers, swallowing the low groan he let out.

“Can I?” You asked, pressing one hand against his shoulder to push him onto his back.

“I just need to be inside you baby,” Mat groaned as your hands pulled down his boxers.

“It’s only fair,” you hummed, “I want a taste too.”

Mat cursed under his breath, eyes fluttering shut as you took his hard length in your hand and gave a few gentle strokes before flattening your tongue along the underside.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, breath catching in his throat. His fingers found your hair, tangling gently as you began to bob your head down his length painfully slow. Just as he had taken his time, you were taking yours. Mat thrust his hips involuntarily as he let out another string of curse words. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer but the idea of cumming before getting to properly fuck you was not one he wanted to entertain.

“Baby, baby,” Mat murmured, tugging your hair gently to pull you off of him. You stared up at him with an all too innocent expression, his thumb running over your swollen bottom lip.

“I need to be inside you,” he said, reiterating his previous statement. You were going to protest but the look in his eyes told you how badly he needed you and there was no denying the ache between your legs.

Mat took your moment of submission and regained control, turning you onto your back. His hands traveled across your body as if he was ingraining the feeling into his memory. Each soft curve and birthmark he wanted to remember.

Finally, though, he pushed your knee to your chest, spreading you open for him. He pushed in slowly, giving you a moment to adjust before he started moving. Your body reacted to each of his touches and movements, allowing him to find the perfect pace that had your nails digging into his forearm. One of his hands held his body above you while the other was leaving bruises on your thigh as he gripped underneath your knee, hitting the most delicious angle.

“Fuck baby,” Mat groaned, head dropping down and a stray strand of hair drooping over his forehead.

“Feels so good,” you managed to say between moans and his thrusts. You’d never had someone bring you so close to your high without touching your clit but Mat did just that. Each time he pushed back into you he was brushing over your g-spot.

“God damn,” Mat breathed, voice sounding strained, like he was trying so hard to hold on.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whined, nails dragging down his skin and leaving red lines in their wake. Mat pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing circles in pace with his thrusts.

“Yes yes yes,” you were moaning uncontrollably but Mat didn’t want you to stop. He didn’t care who heard. Your walls were clenching around him and he was cumming just as you were crying out his name, your orgasm washing over you.

He fucked you through it, sloppy movements as he finished. Your body fell limp and he lowered himself to his elbow, pulling out slowly. He flinched when you whined at the loss of contact but you caught his arm, curling into him.

Neither of you said anything for a moment, his fingers carding through your hair with your head on his chest. The rest of the world felt distant, the sounds of your friends hardly able to break through the bubble the two of you were in. Eventually, though, Mat did pull away to retrieve a towel, cleaning you up so that the two of you could get dressed. Neither of you had any intention of sleeping in the guest room. And besides, you had a few goodbyes left to give.

“Stay with me tonight,” you said quietly after you had finished pulling the sweatshirt back over your head. Mat wasn’t sure he’d heard you quite right, turning to look at you.

“Please.”

Mat felt his heart thudding in his chest. He didn’t know why, he’d literally just had you naked beneath him, moaning his name but somehow the invitation felt intimidating.

“Okay,” he nodded, “Yeah, of course.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, crossing the room to wrap your arms around his waist like you’d done a thousand times before. Even though your words were muffled by the material of his t-shirt he heard you loud and clear.

“I’m going to miss you like hell.”

“Call me when you land,” Mat said, a sad smile on his face as he set your suitcase on the sidewalk. You nodded, trying to avoid his eyes because you knew if you looked at him you would cry. The tears had been welling all morning and the last place you wanted to break down was at the airport.

“Hey,” Mat said softly, his hands gently catching your waist and pulling you into him, “Promise you’ll call me.”

His fingers lifted your chin to look at him. His expression was hard to read but you knew he was falling apart inside, he’d just always managed to remain stoic in a way you couldn't.

“I promise,” you whispered, not trusting your voice.

“We’re going to be okay,” Mat said. It was more for himself than for you. He wanted to believe that your friendship could survive anything. And he was in love with you. Even if you weren’t together he would always love you. Even if you were a thousand miles away, he would always love you. He had always loved you.

“You’re gonna kick ass at your new job,” he said, voice soft. There were a hundred people buzzing around you, probably annoyed that Mat was taking so long to drop you off but neither of you cared, you could hardly hear them as you stared up at him. God, you loved him so much.

“And when we come to play the Preds in a few months you better be there wearing my jersey,” Mat smiled. You laughed softly, tears threatening to spill. His face looked pained as he brushed his thumb along your cheek, catching the stray tear.

You threw your arms around his neck, burying your face into his shoulder. Mat wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you as close as possible. He didn’t want you to go, his heart aching for you. He inhaled your scent, the familiar fragrance of your shampoo fogging his senses. Would it be different when he saw you next? Would you still be wearing his hoodies when you grew tired and homesick? Would you still have the same coffee order? Would you have a new favorite restaurant, one where he didn’t have your order memorized?

Finally, you pulled back, as agonizing as it was.

“I have to go.”

Mat nodded, glancing towards the airport.

“Have a safe flight, okay?”

“I’ll see if the captain can arrange that,” you teased, giving a weak smile. Mat could only shake his head at you, unable to bring himself to smile.

Your hand gripped your suitcase as you slung your carry on over your shoulder. Just before you stepped away you paused, facing Mat fully one last time.

“I love you, Mat Barzal.”

That got a small smile out of him. With the sun in his eyes you could tell he was fighting back tears, carving out an even bigger hole in your chest.

“I love you,” Mat breathed out, closing the space between the two of you and bringing your lips together. You both knew it was a bad idea, tempting fate like this, but you couldn’t leave without tasting him one last time. Your fingers tangled in his hair and his hands melted into your hips as your chests pressed together.

Mat climbed back into the driver’s seat, hands frozen on the wheel until you disappeared into the airport. Once he could no longer see even a glimpse of you, he let the tears spill out. The tears he’d been holding back for the last two weeks. It broke him down to the bone to lose you, to have you anywhere but right beside him. For the first time since you were kids he was going to have to navigate his life without you and he didn’t know how he was supposed to survive.

Mat pulled away from the curb, trying to wipe the tears from his vision. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t talk to you and rarely a week where you didn’t see each other. Even when he was traveling during the season and you had been drowning in school work you had always made time for each other. But that was when you were living in the same cities. Mat wondered if it had been a bad idea to tell you that he was in love with you. Maybe if he hadn’t spoken those words the universe wouldn’t have decided to take revenge. What he’d done to deserve this sort of twisted karma he didn’t know but he would take it all back if it meant bringing you home to him. Whether home was in New York or Vancouver, or anywhere else in the world where he might end up. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that you were gone and he was alone.

As he drove further out of the busy city Mat realized he was taking a route he hadn’t taken in a while. In a few years actually. The road winded along through the countryside, a highway not many people took and certainly not many people who were driving something other than a tractor.

“I’m so scared of the future,” Mat chuckled, trying to laugh off his nerves as he glanced over at you. You had your feet tucked up under your legs, wearing the outfit you had intended on wearing out to see some of your friends. Right up until Mat showed up at your door unannounced.

“Me too,” you sighed, resting your elbow on the center console. Mat could smell your shampoo, the breeze blowing in through the open windows as he sped down the highway.

“You don’t need to be scared,” Mat said, grinning over at you, “You’re smart and you’re going to get a degree.”

“You don’t need to be scared either,” you laughed, shoving his shoulder, “You’re a projected first round pick in the NHL draft. You have nothing to worry about.”

Mat laughed, shaking his head as he looked over at you for a brief moment.

“Are we stupid for being scared?”

“No.” you shook your head adamantly.

“No?”

“We’re kids, Barz,” you said, twisting in your seat to look at him, admiring his side profile, “We don’t know what the hell is going to happen even two weeks from now. And there’s no way to know. But I guess we just have to hope that everything works out how it’s supposed to. The universe will look after you.”

Mat stayed quiet for a while, letting your words sink in,

“You’re too wise for your age.”

“I think you’ve just hit your head into the boards too many times,” you teased, leaning over the console and pressing a kiss against his cheek. Mat’s heart skipped a beat and he hoped you couldn’t tell he was blushing in the dim lighting.

“Wherever you go,” you said, “I’ll go with you. You’re never going to be alone, Mat Barzal.”

Mat pulled to a stop at the overlook, putting the truck in park and resting his forearms on the steering wheel. All the tears that had dried were now joined by a fresh batch. He couldn’t stop, his shoulders shaking as he let his head drop down against his hands. He’d never felt pain quite like this. For a moment he debated calling his agent, seeing if he could get traded to Nashville or even Carolina. Somewhere closer to you. Somewhere that it didn’t feel like you had oceans between you.

His phone started ringing in the passenger seat.

“Fuck!” Mat took the heel of his palm and rubbed away the tears, clearing his throat before he answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey Mat, we think we’ve reached an agreement on your contract.”

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missblissy · 5 years ago

Text

Spring May Flowers Arthur X Amnesia!Reader (Part One)

(( Hey friends, here is part one of my multi-part story!! More will be posted in the future!! Please let me know what you guys think! Thanks so much! Enjoy the story C: ))

At first, there was nothing. Then a loud clash of chaos consumed everything. Darkness was replaced by a blinding light while the silence echoed so loud it rang violently across you in waves, a ringing in your ears and an ache that extended out and out and all the way across every part of you. It got stronger, throbbing larger and larger until the pain was unbearable. It’s source came from your head, on the right side. Suddenly a hot blast of wind crashed over you and just as quickly you felt freezing cold in the heat. Your senses started to come back to you.

You could feel your limbs but they were too heavy to move. You could barely feel yourself breathing, but the little tickle in your nose assured you that you were. What happened? Nothing came to mind. There was still a loud ringing that bashed into your ears. You couldn’t see anything, you couldn’t even open your eyes. But as every second past, more and more came to your senses. Smells you’d never smelled before, softness rubbing against your legs and arms, but not your back or your stomach. Where were you?

Slowly you could feel your chest rise and fall, a feeling that was odd to you, almost foreign. Yet with every breath, you got stronger. You pulled in a little more, searching for the smell of something that made your stomach ache and rumble. What was that smell? It smelled good enough to make your hand twitch.

Suddenly something attached your hand, grasping it quickly and tight. It shocked and scared you but you were helpless to it. You didn’t know what to do and even though you wanted to move, you just couldn’t. Whatever was at your hand gripped tighter and tighter until it finally loosened so much you could barely tell it was still holding on. Then you felt something you had felt before. Something small and wet pattered onto the top of your hand. It trickled down onto your thumb then fell further down your wrist. Another drop fell, then another. Then all of a sudden you could feel so much more.

You could feel your toes slightly twitch in socks, and soggy bandages patched all over stinging spots along your body. You felt a surge of power expel from your heart that sent waves of lightning into your limbs. Then you had all the strength to suck in a sharp breath through your mouth. The warm air burned your throat and lungs on the way down. Light started to fade into your sight, but you realized your eyes were closed. You still couldn’t open them though. It felt like they were glued shut.

Then as if by magic, you could hear everything but the ringing. You could hear the wind blowing over you in fast but short flutters. You could hear the sound of fabric, maybe a tent, flapping quietly while among it all was a voice of someone crying. You didn’t recognize it, but that would explain the feeling from your hands, and what must have been tears.

You listened to the voice as it wheezed then sighed then finally let out a low and deep groan. Was it a man? His rough hands clasped your own frail and limp one. Then he said something, a word you’d never heard before, “(Y/n)...” He paused, then you felt him lift your hand up and meet something rough, prickly, then smooth. He pressed a kiss onto your hand and his lips stayed there, moving as he spoke, “I’m sorry. I just want you to wake up. You keep sleeping in this coma you’re gonna die soon from starvation or dehydration or something worse. We aren’t exactly a hospital and none of us are doctors. It’s been almost been two weeks, please... Come on, I can see you trying. Come on... please. ”

Was he talking to you? Where you... (Y/n)? The word sent chills down your spine... or rather that name. Hearing it gave you the strength to finally open your eyes, and with that single notion, you regained the ability to move. You were in a tent, just like you thought, laying on a bed of some kind, covered in clothes and sheets and covered with bandages and open cuts. You wanted to pull your hand from this man’s grasp, but instead, you kept your hand there and shifted enough that alerted him.

You looked at him, and he stared back at you with teary open eyes getting wider by the second. A smile curled onto his face and you could see his teeth. His dirty blonde hair was long but only stopped below his ear. His unkempt beard was short and close to his face and still managed to grow in every direction. You met his eyes, blue and puffy and red and dark all at the same time. But now he seemed so happy. You were awake, isn’t that what he wanted?

Who was this man? Why was he here? Why were you here and... who were you? Suddenly you realized you had no memories you could bring up. None about who you were, who this man was, or how you got here. You looked away from him then tried sitting up. It hurt, but you did it anyway while trying to think of what to say. You didn’t want to sound rude, but this man was so eager to see you, you just smile at him, “I... I’m sorry... I... I don’t know who you are or... how I got here,” You watched his face freeze, “I’m sorry mister... but who I am?”

He stared at you. Blank, unmoving. Then he lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger. He laughed, it caught you by surprise, “Oh, that hit to the head really did a number to you, didn’t it?” He didn’t sound so happy. In fact, he wasn’t laughing anymore and he was rubbing his eyes quickly. He must have swiped away some tears because you could see more welling in his eyes when he looked back up at you, “You don’t know anything do you?” You shook your head, “Any of this?” He waved around the tent and you looked around.

It was quite large, you could probably stand up in it. There was a dirt floor but it was decorated with dusty old rugs. There was a desk across the tent surrounded by boxes and chest. The desktop had framed photos and flowers sealed in a jar. Papers and boxes were scattered across it too. You found a bunch of little decorative strings hanging from the tent poles, crawling around within the tent-like streamers. There was a bedside table next to you, it had more flowers and photos. There were a few chairs scattered around, one had a pair of dirty clothes with dried blood hanging on it with a pair of torn-up boots in the seat. It looked like someone lived here, was it him or you?

“Look at this,” The man said and you watched him grab one of the photos on the bedside table. He handed it to you. It was old and torn and trapped behind a thin sheet of glass within a wooden frame. There were four people. Two men were sitting in chairs, one had darker hair, fine clothes and a lot of rings, while the other man had lighter hair and dressed more casually. His face was pointy, kind of like a rat. Then there were two other people, a little girl dressed in a shirt too big tucked into pants that were tucked into boots. Her hair was in pigtails and she had a toothy smile. And then there was teenage boy, stern-looking and rather handsome until you realize it was a younger version of the man sitting next to you. You looked up at him as he turned the photo over in your hand. On the back, it had some numbers, maybe a year? Then there were some more words... or rather names.

Dutch Van Der Linde, Hosea Mathews, Arthur Morgan, (Y/n) (L/n).

“You’re... Arthur?” You asked and watched him nod his head.

“And you’re (Y/n),” He said. He pointed to the little girl, apparently you, “You don’t remember the day we got this picture taken?” He was looking at you with raised brows but a gaze so stern and begging you to answer. But when you shook your head, you watched his face drop even more, “What about this?” He kept trying and got up and ran over to the desk. He grabbed another photo and handed it to you.

Again, you saw this man. Arthur Morgan. He was standing in a formal suit, he looked older than the last photo but still younger than he was now. And there you were, or what you guessed was you. Is this what you looked like? You saw a woman in a dress. A wedding dress, while standing shoulder to shoulder with Arthur, holding each other hands with the faintest smiles. This was you? You flipped it over slowly and found another year, much later than the last photo and then it said, Mr. and Mrs. Morgan.

You looked back at Arthur and saw the ring on his finger and it took you up until now to finally feel the ring on your own finger. He was your husband? Him?

This was too much. You felt panic bubble around in your chest. For some reason, you didn’t believe it. Or maybe you didn’t want too. You quickly shook your head and started handing the photos back to him, “I.. I’m sorry.. I don’t remember. I really don’t,” You tired. But there was nothing. Nothing but darkness, “What... what happened? If that’s me then why don’t I remember anything?” You weren’t even sure that was you, you didn’t even know what you looked like. For all you knew this guy was a freak or a monster of some kind and he planted all these things just to convince you he wasn’t a psychopath.

He looked you over, his eyes scanning your face before he looked away and sighed, “It was my fault,” He started while sitting down next to you again. This time he was sure to keep his hands to himself, he even scooted his seat away from you a little. He was practically talking to a stranger now, “We... us...” He paused and took several seconds to make a sour face and scrunch his nose, “It happened a few weeks ago. You were a...” He paused again as if he didn’t want to say what he was about to say, “You were a gunslinger. So am I. We’re in a gang. We’re outlaws. Criminals... of sorts. It was a train robbery. We went with a few other friends of ours in the gang. I... helped Bill hook up the wires for the dynamite... They didn’t go off so we were forced to jump the train from above and onto the roof as it went through an underpass. We were in the mountains at the time. When we all jumped for the train, Javier missed and rolled off first. He was fine but you took a real fall,” He sighed heavily with a pained look on his face, “I saw it happen. I saw you roll right off the roof and onto the other side of the tracks. Except you landed head first and kept rolling down into the shrubs. I was on the train, I couldn’t get off- I... I saw Javier get up. Since he was fine I just thought you were too-”

“Arthur!” He was caught off. Another voice, raspy and high pitched, came from outside the tent. Then a head poked in. It was the man from the photo, the one with all the rings, “Oh Jesus! She’s awake!” He seemed happy too but you knew it wouldn’t last for long.

You looked between the two and watch Arthur get up and shake his head, “No,” he said softly, “It’s...” He looked back at you with a worried and pained look on his face. He ushered the other man out, “Dutch... it’s.. it’s bad,” He tried to whisper then walked outside with that guy Dutch. They must have walked some distance away because you couldn’t hear them talking.

Alone, you took this time to gather your thoughts. So.. you were a gunslinger? Married to an outlaw, in a gang full of criminals. Some life you had, huh? You looked around the tent again. You lived here? Hm. You swung your legs over the bed and suddenly felt dizzy. So much for looking around. You sat there, leaning over your knees with your head in your hand. You felt the coolness of the ring on your finger and oddly it settled you down and got the dizziness to go away. Your mouth was dry and you remembered how you were only on the brink of death moments ago. You saw a glass of water on the table and quickly drank down the whole thing. After a second or two you tried standing up again.

This time you got to your feet and wandered about. It felt wrong to dig around all this stuff, even if it was apparently yours. But what you were most interested in was the set of dirty clothes hanging from the chair by the desk. You walked towards them and picked up a shirt. It was torn apart so much that it couldn’t be worn. It wasn’t much of a rag either. It was soaked in dry brown blood and dirt. You look at your arm, noticing the nightgown you were in. Suddenly you felt a shiver down your spine knowing someone undressed and redressed you all while you were in a minor coma.

You brought the shirt up to your nose, smelling it and taking in the dirt, sweat and blood trapped within its fibers. Maybe it could bring up some memories? You held it under your nose, closed your eyes, and searched every corner of your mind. Nothing. You put it down in vain and moved on.

You moved to the desk and looked over its contents. There was a photo of a dog there with several opened letters and a journal. Was it yours? Or was it Arthur’s? There was only one way to find out.

As you reached for it the opening flap to the tent flung open and Arthur walked himself inside. He looked up and found you standing there like an awkward lost child. You looked at him with a blank stare then quickly stood up straight but kept your gaze towards the ground. Why were you embarrassed? You felt your cheeks burn hot.

“At least you can walk,” Arthur joked, but you didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat and then took on a more stern tone. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, taking on his own awkward stance. He didn’t seem sure how to act. You weren’t yourself, you weren’t anyone. He wanted to look at you like the wife you were less than twenty minutes ago. You woke up, thank god, but you woke up as someone else. This was hard on him, “I talked to everyone. Not that you remember them, but there’s a whole town’s worth of people outside this tent that were worried about you,” You had barely even thought about the world outside. It frightened you a little bit, everything did.

There was an awkward silence now. Everything was awkward, why did it have to be this way? Yet after another second, Arthur shrugged finally and started to head for the exit. He gave you a side glance, “Do you need anything, by the way?”

As if the universe had heard as well, your stomach grumbled out in hunger and pain, answering Arthur’s question without you even saying anything. Heat rose to your cheeks, a little more than embarrassed now. You shuffled in your spot then looked up and found Arthur smiling at you slightly. In that second, time froze, and all you could see was Arthur. He was tall and well built, much taller than you and he was standing in front of a glowing wall of sunlight that leaked in from the world outside. He seemed heavenly, warm and inviting. Something in you twitched and shocked you inside but you couldn’t tell what it was.

“Why don’t you get dressed? We missed lunch, Pearson just cleaned the pot,” Whatever that meant, but you kept listening. You watched his lips as he talked, “I can take you town, if you like?”

Town? Where was that? How would you get there? Like a coin spinning on a table, you couldn’t make up your mind. On one side of the coin was this tent, seemingly the only world you’ve known so far. Were you ready to venture out? You felt a little tickle of fear bubble in your throat. The other side of the coin, however, was to leave this tent and see what the world had to offer. You’ve given up on getting your memories back, so you might as well make some new ones. Perhaps it was time to get out of this tent. For some reason, you couldn’t stop the little smile on your face, “Yeah I’d like that.”

“Alright then,” He gave a bigger grin, “I’ll get the horses ready, you get dressed,”

__________________________________________

Finding something to put on was a lot harder than expected. See, Arthur didn’t tell you where any of “your” clothes were. So you dug around in a chest or two until you found something that fit.

You left the tent more nervous than you thought you’d be. You walked into an open camp in the woods, on some kind of cliff. Lush green wildlife was around every corner. And Arthur was right, there was a town’s worth of people here. Women, men, old, young, even a little boy running around playing. But no one approached you, no one called you over. Many stared, some waved, but all kept their distance. That was probably because Arthur told everyone you had lost your memories. Or maybe it was what you decided to wear.

When you found Arthur halfway across camp, you kept your head low and arms crossed over your chest as you hurried your way over towards him. Even Arthur stared, it was kind of annoying. Maybe you shouldn’t have chosen this outfit? Arthur was in the middle of unhitching a horse, he threw the reins up and over it’s head and looked at you, nearly stunned.

He laughed cooly, nice save, “You really did lose all your god damn memories,” He chuckled, then shook his head as he pulled a hat from within the satchel on his saddle.

You were blinded by that hat, something about it felt odd, and you watched Arthur put it on. There was a stink in the back of your head, then a foggy glimmer burned behind your eyes. You looked at Arthur and thought, he is kind of handsome... You felt your heart flicker with a feeling that made your stomach turn and your throat tighten up. You tore your gaze away from him and look behind you. You stare at the camp, looking over every place and person as you said, “What’s give it away?”

Arthur laughed again, chuckling while he spoke, “You’d never wear something like that before,” You know, for a guy who’s wife had just lost all her memories, including all the ones about her so-called husband, he was smiling and laughing a lot. Maybe he was just glad you were alive and awake, or maybe this was actually funny to him.

You looked down at what you wore, it was just a white button-down shirt that was tucked into a high waisted soft blue skirt. Apparently Old You didn’t wear stuff like this, then why did you find it with a bunch of other women’s clothes in a chest with your name on it? “What’s wrong with this?” You were going to wear some pants, really, but your legs were really beat up and covered in puffy pads and bandages that made it hard to wear any of the jeans you had. There was only one skirt to choose from, and a couple dresses.

He shook his head and climbed into the saddle like a natural. He let out a little groan on the way up but settled himself in, “Nothing, pretend I didn’t say anything,” Arthur held his hand open for you, “You look wonderful,” Oh yeah, he was your husband, wasn’t he? You felt your cheeks burn and you looked at the ground, “Wanna ride front or back?” His question caught you by surprise.

Arthur’s hand was still held out, but you stared at him not entirely sure what he meant or what to say, so you asked, “What would Old (Y/n) choose?” Was he a going to lie to you? Tell the truth? Who knew, you were still suspicious of him.

There was a pause in his actions, he looked to his left and towards several horses freely grazing in the grass, “Old you would have raced me to town,” Oh... hearing that made your heart drop a little. Arthur wouldn’t look at you and you could see the pain clear as day on his face. Why couldn’t you do that now? The thought of racing Arthur to town sounded kind of exciting and fun, “But, you don’t look to ready to ride on your own just yet,” Ah, that was why. He may be right, seeing as you don’t even know how to ride a horse anymore.

You felt a frown start to pull at your lips and tug your face down, you kept your gaze to the ground as you grabbed Arthur’s hand and said, “Back,” You climb up behind him and sat there for a second before you realized you needed to hold onto him. Unsure, you wrapped your arms around his torso and held on as Arthur clicked his tongue and guided his horse from camp.

The ride to town was quick, thank god, and it only felt like minutes before Arthur hitched the horse. He said this town was called Valentine, and that we needed to keep a low profile. When you realized that you had walked inside a general store, you felt giddy for no reason. You didn’t have any money, you didn’t even like this store, but you knew what you wanted as soon as you got in there.

As Arthur watched you, he felt the pain in his chest grow even larger. He watched you go right for the candy barrels. Arthur knew everything you were going to buy before you even grabbed it. Before your accident, you’d come to the store in town and buy your favorite sweets to stash back in camp. You had a notorious sweet tooth that everyone was aware of, except for you.

Arthur checked off every one of your favorite candies as you bought them. Carmel, chocolate, butterscotches and lemon drops. You grabbed handfuls of each and stuffed them into a paper bag until it was full. Arthur watched you look around the store some more, he followed behind you at a reasonable distance. You grabbed a pack of cigarettes, some gin, and then lastly a bag full of crispy green apples. God, it hurt watching you go after all the things you loved. Because of this, Arthur knew your memories were trapped inside you somewhere, he had all the proof he needed. You were an avid smoker, almost a pack a day, your favorite hard liquor was gin or vodka. And your favorite fruits were the sour green apples that reminded you of your childhood home. Arthur knew everything about you, but you hadn’t a clue about yourself.

He paid for all your goodies, you were thankful and giddier than he’d ever seen before. As soon as you got outside the store you cracked open a lemon drop and shot it into your mouth. The sour-sweet taste exploded in your mouth and sent chills down your spine. You moved the lemon drop to the back of your mouth and tucked it in your cheek so you could say, “Thank you, Arthur. You didn’t have to get me all this,”

He motioned for both of you to sit on the wooden bench just outside the store, “Well I didn’t exactly pick them all out,” He joke, you even giggled a little. You both sat down, side by side, and you dug out the bottle of gin. You had a craving for it, especially mixed with the lemon drop in your mouth. Arthur watched you crack open the wax seal and toss it aside, then swig the bottle bottom’s up and glug down a mouth full. He was so in love with you at that moment, you seemed like your usual self but he knew you weren’t fully there. When you handed the bottle over him, he smiled slightly and came up with a plan.

The gin was bitter but the sweet and sour sugar of the lemon drop matched perfectly. You dragged the back of your hand across your lips and dug around in the brown paper bag for the cigarettes. As soon as you saw them you had to have them. You didn’t know you were a smoker, but when you inhaled the hot smoke, taking nicotine straight to your brain, you felt a thousand times lighter. You pulled the cigarette from your lips and held it in your fingers, “So if I’m some kind of...” You paused and lowered your voice, “... Gunslinger...” Arthur chuckled as you whispered those words, “Then what do we do all day?”

He handed the gin back to you, “Drink, lay low, make money on the side, wait for orders from Dutch,”

“He’s the one who came into the tent earlier?”

“Yeah, he’s the guy in charge of everything,”

You took another swig of the gin then capped it, “So there isn’t anything we do for fun? No places we like to go or waste time?”

Arthur shook his head, “Nah, not around here. We just got to this new camp spot a week ago. We moved to a new camp while you were out,”

“Hm,” You flicked the stubby end of your dead cigarette into the road. You were still hungry so you dug into the bag and took out an apple. You offered one to Arthur but he passed, “Well we should go find some,” You said, then took a large bite into the apple. It was sweet and juicy and sour, kind of like the lemon drop.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s go explore,” You shrugged, “We’ve got nothing better to do, and I need some new memories to make,” You looked at Arthur, met his gaze, and smiled wide. You offered Arthur an apple but he passed.

You listened to him as you bite away at the rest of the sweet fruit, “Sure,” He drawled, “I don’t see why not. There were a few places I wanted to check out around here.”

“Yeah?” You were eager to get out and explore. You wanted to explore and see what this world had to show you. You tossed away the apple core and jumped to your feet. Your sudden actions took Arthur by surprise. You spun around quickly and met his gaze, “Then let’s get going already!”

________________________________________________________

Everything was beautiful to you. It was like witnessing the world for the first time again. Watching the ever-changing sky as clouds and the birds flying free caused intense emotions to swell in your chest. You could feel the memories attached to these feelings, but you still hadn’t a clue who you were, and the memories still hadn’t come up yet.

You sat behind Arthur, arms wrapped around his torso and your cheek pressed against his back as you watched the trees fly by. You had no idea where you were heading, not that you cared, but you enjoyed the ride. Neither you or Arthur spoke. The silence was calm, easy, and welcomed. You listened to the sound of the wind roll across the land, rustling the leaves and carrying the sweet smell of spring. Your eyes were locked on a winding river that carved its way through the land. It felt like hours had passed while you watched it’s everchanging form slither this way and that.

Soon you found yourself at the mouth of the river as it flowed under a massive bridge and into a lake the could have been mistaken for an ocean. You lifted your head from Arthur’s back and tapped him on his shoulder, “What is that?” You asked as he slowed the horse down to a slow trot.

“You don’t know what a lake-” You smacked his shoulder and cut him off, Ah! Hey!”

“I know what a lake is!” You pointed a glare towards him, “What’s it called?”

Arthur pulled the reins and turned and lead the horse off the road and towards the grey sandy beaches, “Flat Iron Lake,” He spoke in a stoic voice. You peered up at him from around his shoulder. He had a stern and emotionless mask on his face. He looked deep and lost in his thoughts.

To your surprise, Arthur guided the horse to the furthest edge of the beach that reached out into the lake. He was quick to slide off the saddle and help you down. He held is arms out for you to jump down into. You were going to ask him what was going on but he beat you to it, “I just wanted to take a look around,” He said just as he set you down on the ground.

You left it at that and didn’t bother asking any questions. It seemed like Arthur wasn't really here anyways. He made a beeline for the lapping shore of the lake and quite literally left you in the dust. You saw him get as close to the water as he could without getting his boots wet, then he reached into the satchel hanging by his waist. Arthur pulled a pair of binocular. You took that as a sign that he was busy with something you couldn’t know or understand.

So you decided to walk further down the beach. Little crabs ran away from you and took safety in the little waves. The water looked so inviting, refreshing and cool. God, you just wanted to jump in. You looked behind you, gazing over your shoulder towards Arthur. He was peering across the lake then quickly jotting things down in some journal he had. He was busy, obviously.

You took this as your chance to kick your shoes off and pray your socks free from your feet. Your skirt stopped well above your ankles but you pulled it up and ran into the chilly water. Shivers ran up your spine but you enjoyed it so much. You wanted to wash the cool water completely over your body but you didn’t want to soak your clothes.

The soft sand sunk with every step you took. You searched for smooth and flat rocks amongst the sand only to pick them up and skip the across the water. You even found a few seashells hidden under the sand. You tossed them onto the dry beach so you could take them home.

“Enjoying yourself?” Arthur walked down the beach, done with his task, whatever it was.

You smiled at him, “Yeah! I love the water,” You said without thinking. It just rolled off your tongue. Then it took you a second to realize that you did love water, and swimming, and bathing large warm tubs. It wasn’t a memory, but a sudden realization, “I love water,” You said again as your smile grew wide, “I love water!” You ran out of the lake and towards Arthur, smiling and laughing, “I love swimming! Don’t I?!”

When you reached Arthur you grabbed him by his arms, nearly shaking him. He chuckled slightly and nodded his head, “Yeah you do, you remember anything?” But you shook your head quickly and started tugging him towards you. He complied then suddenly wished he didn’t. You quickly tugged so hard that you were able to throw off his balance and swing him into the lake behind you. He fell onto his hands and knees into the knee-deep water. He was about to scold you when you ran right past him and into the lake. You didn’t care about soaking your clothes anymore. You ran until you were waist-deep then turn around and smiled at Arthur.

As he got up to his feet, dripping wet, you didn’t waste a second before you splashed a wave of water at him, “Hey!” He yelled out, “Quit it!” He didn’t sound too happy but you could see him fight the smile that was trying to crawl onto his face. So you splashed him again, and again, and again until he was covered head to toe, “(Y/n)! I swear to God, I’m gonna get you!”

“Then get me!” You challenged before diving into the deeper parts of the lake, swimming down the shore. Arthur ran as far as he could into the lake until he had to swim. He was faster than you thought he’d be and soon enough he was sending waves of water into your face.

You fought back with your own massive splashes, both of your laughter filling the air. You swore and yell, you dared and challenge. Then you got an idea. You sucked in a deep breath then went below the surface, swimming towards Arthur and fast enough to get behind him. You shot up out of the water then threw all your weight onto him as you pulled him back down with you.

As soon as Arthur came back up he gasped for air and admitted defeat, “You win! You win!” He said, “I give up!”

You laughed out, “Ha!” Then splashed him once more. You waded in the water, neck deep and feet barely touching the sandy bottom, “Yay! You can buy me a drink later,” You said with a smirk on your face.

“Fine,” Arthur grinned back, “But I get to choose the drink,” He started to swim back towards the shore and you followed close behind.

Once your feet could touch the bottom, you walked your way out of the water. You felt a thousand pounds too heavy thanks to your soaked clothes. You and Arthur found a large rock that could fit the two of you. There you both sat while looking out upon the lake.

“That was fun,” You leaned and bumped your shoulder into Arthur’s. You were so glad that you left that tent and went out with him, “We should do that more often.”

“Once is good enough for me,” Arthur said with a chuckle hidden between his words. Then a silence fell between the two of you.

You stared out at the lake then noticed the town all the way on the other side. You pointed at it, “What is that?”

Arthur took a second to respond, he was too busy trying to find a cigarette, Once he found one and sparked it, he looked up then said, “It’s Blackwater.”

As soon as you heard that word you felt your heart sink in your chest. Arthur watched as your face twist and fall. You felt so many emotions but you had no idea where they were coming from. There was rage, disgust, fear and the loudest of them all was betrayal.

What happened there? You stared across the lake, searching your mind for what it was missing. Nothing but unknown emotions came to you. So you looked to Arthur, confused and uncertain. All you asked was, “What happened in Blackwater?”

Arthur took in a deep breath then sighed while exhaling through his nose. The sun was finally making its way down the sky. He stared at the fading clouds as he spoke, “A bunch of bullshit gone wrong,” That didn’t really help you, but he went on, “I wasn’t really there, so I’m not exactly sure what happened,” Arthur choose his words carefully, he felt on edge and he kept his gaze towards the horizon, “But a lot of good people died, we lost almost everything we owned, and we’re living on the run now more than ever,” He paused then leaned back slightly, “Dutch wanted to rob this ferry, he said it was going to be the last big score then we’d all be free,” Arthur said that with such high hopes in his voice and you could see something shine in his eyes, “Everything would have finally made up for something. But I knew it was too good to be true and everything went to shit anyway.”

You searched Arthur’s face, still looking for answers, “What did he do?” But you already knew the answer the second you asked, “He betrayed us,” You said before Arthur could get a word out, “Didn’t he?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say-”

“No,” You tore your gaze from Arthur, brows knitted together. You couldn’t explain it, but you had such a strong gut feeling, “He did. I know he did,” It was so painfully obvious that you were only inches away from your memories. Arthur looked you over, up and down, then shook his head slowly then kept his eyes locked on the ground.

He wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what to say or how to get it out. You hadn’t a clue, but you were so close to remembering the pain and loss you felt when you tried to save that innocent girl from Dutch’s rath. Arthur knew you wouldn’t remember, but you were there that day, on the ferry when Dutch slaughtered his way in and out of that ferry only to be fooled and seat up. It was a trap and everyone knew it, except Dutch. After that, you had nearly renounced Dutch, your loyalty to him and the gang, and even Arthur. You could smell the storm growing and you had every intention of leaving the gang in the middle of all the chaos as you fled into the mountains. But Arthur chased you down and brought you back, he begged you to stay, that there was no reason to be so upset and that everything would be fine.

Your words that night still cut deep, tore him apart, and caused Arthur a great deal of grief and confusion. How did you put it? Oh, that’s right. As you rode beside him on your own horse, fleeing out of Blackwater and into the mountains, you spit at him and told him he was more loyal to Dutch than he loved you.

Arthur couldn’t believe it, but he hoped to God you wouldn’t get those memories back. You could remember everything else but that. You were ready to leave him, you didn’t speak to him once while you took refuge in the snowy miner’s town in the Grizzles. When Dutch needed manpower to rob the train, he asked you to come along but you refused until Hosea talked to you. Arthur had no idea what Hosea said to you, but whatever he said worked, and you rode silently to rob a train with the rest of the gang.

Nither of you had spoken for days, then you fell off the train, went into a coma, and Arthur was certain you were going to die. But here you were, alive and well, but without a single clue as to who you were or what your life was. Arthur prayed and prayed you’d wake up and he’d finally talk to you again, he just didn’t know how much it’d coast for those prayers to come true.

When he looked at you again, your features had changed, you looked tired and upset, “You okay?” He asked while lightly nudging you with his elbow.

“Mhm,” You were brought back to earth and pulled from your thoughts. You were trying so hard to search and sort these feelings that kept bubbling inside you, “Yeah,” You said slowly, “Just thinking. It’s getting late, do you think we should head back?”

He could tell something was off, but he didn’t say anything. Arthur just lifted his fingers to his lips and blew out a whistle. In your mind, you got fuzzy bits and pieces floating around your mind, but they were mostly just loud and angry feelings. It was getting to the point where you had started getting frustrated that your memories hadn’t come back yet. You were on Arthur’s horse before you knew it, and the two of you were riding off towards camp in silence.

______________________________________________

It was dark and you were alone. Arthur had finally had enough of being your baby sitter, or so you told yourself. You laid on your side, head against the cool pillow while you stared through the crack between the flaps of the tent’s exit. You could hear the laughter and chatter of everyone outside. A part of you wished you could go out there and mingle with the people outside, but you knew it wasn’t the wisest decision and it scared you more than you’d admit.

Your thoughts buzzed loudly making it hard for you to fall asleep. You were so restless, tossing and turning while trying to calm your mind down. It felt as though something was missing, or maybe there was to much free space. You looked behind you, towards the wall, and saw a perfect human-sized empty spot. It was Arthur’s side of the bed, but he hadn’t slept there in weeks, not since your accident. He’d taken to sleeping in the chair beside the bed, but now he was nowhere in sight. He was only giving you your space and privacy, but it felt like he’d abandoned you.

Unable to sleep, and growing frustrated with just laying in bed, you quickly sat up and turned the low flicker flame of a lantern up to give you more light. The time was now and you took advantage of it. You got to your feet and started to snoop around in everything you could. You started with some of the chests. The first two were just full of clothes, one was yours and the other one was Arthur’s. There was another chest tucked under the bed but it was locked, so you left it alone and move on to the desk. The top was littered with letters, maps, and two leather-bound journals. One black and one brown. You picked up the brown one first and flipped it open to a random page. There were drawings of birds, plants and other animals with little notes by them. You flipped to the next page and found an entry from a couple of weeks ago.

Finally a thaw in this god awful weather. We got off the mountain and rode east into some pretty enough place called The Heartlands. Haven’t been this far east in many a year. Hosea seemed to know the country a little. Ain’t been much of a spring. Now holed up at a place called Horseshoe Overlook, outside of some dumpy little cattletown name of -VALENTINE- Dutch seems a little better. His eyes are sparkling again once more and I can see he’s thinking a little clearer. I think we all feel better in spite of Blackwater and all that mess. (Y/n) still hasn’t woken up from her fall off the train up in the mountains. I’m starting to fear the worst. It’s been five days now. Hosea says she’ll wake up in her own time, that a fall like that could have killed her -or worse- I don’t even want to think about such a thing. I can’t stand the thought of losing her or living in a world where she is ain’t. Dutch says I need to get out more and to stop worrying so damn much. Maybe he needs to start worrying more. It’s starting to get lonely ‘round here without her voice to keep me company, even if we ain’t on much of speaking terms before her fall... I hope that when she wakes that she doesn’t try to leave again.

You wanted to read more but you could hear someone walking outside the tent. You slapped Arthur’s journal closed and skipped over to the bed, mind buzzing at what you had just read. You wanted to leave? What was that all about? You had to push those thoughts from your mind, you knew you wouldn’t get the answer unless you dug deeper into Arthur’s journal. You sat down on it just as low light from outside leaked in.

“Oh,” It was Arthur, who else would it be? “You’re still awake?” You nodded silently, “Well don’t mind me, I’m just grabbing some things.”

You weren’t going to say anything, you had planned on just sitting there while he rummaged around in a chest until you thought of a question, saying it out loud, you asked, “Not to be nosy, but... where are you going to sleep?”

He didn’t look up as he spoke, “Ah, don’t worry about it.”

“You’re not going to like... sleep under a tree, are you?” Something in your mind told you he did that a lot.

Arthur met your gaze with an armful of spare blankets. He flashed you a crooked smile, “Yeah, actually, how’d you know that?” He got up and started making his way towards the exit.

“Just a guess,” You shrugged. Just as Arthur was about to head out, you stopped him, “Wait-... Arthur. You...” You felt some heat rise to your cheeks and you thanked the gods the lighting in here was low, “You don’t have to sleep out there. This is your bed too,” What on earth were you doing? Huh?

Well.. He was your husband after all. Arthur gave you a look, a raised brow, he faced you and asked, “You sure? Even if you don’t... Know me?”

“I know you enough,” You felt your heart racing a mile a minute. You couldn’t tell if you were doing this to be nice or because you wanted it. You made room so he could climb into the bed. You noticed Arthur hesitate at first as if he scared. Maybe he was because everything was different now, or maybe he was just afraid of getting close to you physically because he knew he had to hold back his love for you. Which had been incredibly hard to do all day already. Now you were inviting him into bed, as close as you two could get in one space.

Arthur kicked off his boots and threw his hat somewhere else in the tent, then he crawled into bed anyways. Instantly you were flustered but hid it well while you killed the lantern letting the darkness take its hold. The bed was just big enough to comfortably fit you both. But it all happened so naturally, like your body knew everything your mind didn’t. It only took a split second, you found yourself in Arthur’s arms, your face against his chest and his head resting above yours. Arthur was so tried that the second you stopped moving he was already passing out, you had no idea he was so exhausted.

This time you found yourself falling asleep with ease. You felt safe, warm and overly happy for some reason. The sound of Arthur’s breathing was like a long lost lullaby. You even enjoyed the soft snores, the smells of dust and liquor that stuck to him, and the way his lazy arms slung across you in an embrace.

You managed to fall sleep with ease. It was so much easier than when you were alone. But as you slept, you dreamed of nothing but blankness.

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generallybarzy · 5 years ago

Text

smile like sunshine

Introduction: ~7,600 words

mat barzal series

summary: A lot changes in ten years, and a lot changes when someone grows used to having constant attention, fans, and fame- so surely the boy you knew back then was long gone. Even if you had been the closest of friends that one month back in 2008, there was no way he remembers you, or even wants to talk to you anymore...

an: Here it finally is!!! I know, I know, it's super long. I was gonna split it up, but it made more sense to keep the intro in one part for the backstory and setting up the main plot and then have the rest of the story on the beach. I really hope this comes together like I want it to!

From the moment you first saw him, you knew you were going to be best friends; but what you could never know, at only nine years old, was that you were going to fall head over heels in love with him one day.

Looking back now, he was adorable as a child, but that wasn’t what your little nine-year-old mind was thinking at the time. All you were focused on back then was the sheer awesomeness of that sandcastle he was building and the overwhelming amount of loneliness that was overtaking you on what was supposed to be a fun, month-long family vacation. He was just a boy, caked in sand from crawling around on his hands and knees to construct what you thought back then was the most complex structure of architecture in existence, and you were just a girl, your desperation for a friend to play with outweighing your shyness. Your parents seemed too busy with the new babies to pay attention to you, so you had to find someone else to hang out with, and here was this boy. You had approached him hesitantly, just really wanting something to do and someone to play with other than your annoying siblings, hoping that he wouldn’t turn you away.

“Did you make that?” Your first words to him were spoken shyly, hesitant, and had him looking up at you, squinting from the sun through his dark locks of hair.

“Yeah.”

“All by yourself?” He nodded again, looking proud. “It’s awesome!”

“Thanks!” He glanced back to his work for a second before pushing himself to his feet and offering you a sand bucket. “You wanna help?”

“Yes, please.”

“Cool.” He smiled brightly, showing off a missing tooth, and you smiled back, it was impossible not to with how full of sunshine this boy seemed to be. You followed him out towards the water to scoop up some wet sand. “I’m Mat.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

It was really that simple to become friends. You soon came to find that Mat was really funny, one of the funniest people you’d ever met- and still to this day you couldn’t forget how green his eyes sparkled in the sunlight while he was laughing, even if he was just laughing at his own silly jokes. The two of you slaved away at building your sandcastle in the hot sun and laughing at each other’s jokes for what seemed like hours before your parents came over to find you playing with a new friend. Your parents and his talked- about nothing you cared about at that age- while you and Mat sat with your feet in the water, eating ice pops and getting sunburned without a care in the world.

You still thought back to that month to this day. It was still one of your happiest memories: those hot watermelon and ice pop summer days giving you sticky faces and hands and sunburnt skin, eating ice cream on your tenth birthday and skipping along the pier next to him with your moms chatting behind you, collecting shells and messing with crabs together, being splashed with seawater and laughing even though you wanted to be mad at him. That was your happy place.

One conversation you remember distinctly from later that month was when you and Mat were sitting on the beach, sifting through the sand and collecting shells. Well, you were the only one actually collecting shells; Mat thought it would be funny to sit there and throw little crustaceans at you and make you shriek. Eventually, a hush had fallen over the two of you, and Mat spoke up. “I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

“The what?” Mat laughed at you, but you genuinely didn’t know what he was talking about. You laugh at yourself today, looking back.

“Do you know what hockey is?”

“Duh. My dad watches it.”

“I like to play hockey. I’m going to as a job one day.”

“That sounds cool!” Your young mind couldn’t even comprehend having any adult job, let alone knowing at this age what you want to do for the rest of your life Obviously, Mat was a boy who had plans. “It looks dangerous, though, do you get hurt?”

“I don’t really get hurt much.”

“I bet you’re good at it, then.”

“I am!” You smiled and laughed with Mat and leaned over your pile of shells to hug him, the deepest form of showing affection you knew at that point.

“I’ll come to see you play one day. I promise.”

Remember when life was so simple that a sandcastle was all that was needed to spark the beginning of a wonderful friendship, even if it only lasted a month? Remember when we didn’t have to worry about grades and work and money and taxes? Sometimes you wished you could take yourself back to that month, so you could have a distraction. You’ve been looking for a distraction like Mat had been all your life- while your parents fought from the other room, while you stressed over tests in school, during heartbreak after heartbreak, while you dealt with pressure taking standardized tests or getting your first job, or moving to New York City alone only weeks shy of your 20th birthday during the summer before you started college. Every now and then you would forget about that summer, but the moment you’d stress over something, your mind just drifted off and daydreamed of that lighthearted smile, and those shining green eyes, and you hoped he was happy wherever he was.

Mat.

Damn it, you would have tried years ago to google him or something if you knew his last name, or even where he lived. Unfortunately, those aren’t topics of interest to children, so they never popped up in your conversation, and neither your mom or dad seemed to care enough to remember what they talked about with his parents, probably too busy fighting all the time, you mused.

The fall after you’d moved to New York for college, your roommate Amy, who was extremely welcoming and always made you feel at home, decided to introduce you to the sports teams of the city in an effort to get you out of your apartment and away from your work. It was just your luck, you realized later, that she was especially into hockey. You were vaguely familiar with hockey, your dad used to be a huge hockey fan in your youth, but stopped many years ago in the midst of your parent’s marriage practically falling apart. Now he only watched it occasionally, a few years behind on who was up-and-coming. “Hey, might as well learn the sport. Maybe one day you’ll reconnect with that boy from your long-ago summer romance!” She spoke teasingly, lightheartedly, always loving to hear the sweet story of your childhood best friend who had slipped away and may have disappeared forever. She was always one for cliches. You had told her many things about your time with Mat, but never used his name; no, that felt too personal, as if he was a secret for only you to know about.

“Oh, come on, Ames!” You laughed, but you couldn’t help but hope. “We were, like, ten! I don’t think that qualifies as romance.”

“Maybe not, but the way you describe him… If you would’ve met in your teens, that story would have ended with some cute, awkward first kisses.” She loved a good love story, and you smiled and shook your head. Yeah, honestly, you wish you’d known him later in your life.

“Yeah, maybe.”

So, eventually, she took you to an Islanders game, letting you borrow a blue hoodie of hers from her large collection of NHL merchandise so that you would look like more of a fan. You sat through the game with her, excited and interested and eager to learn as she kept pointing things out to you to help you understand the game. Despite it being an NHL game, you hadn’t thought of the boy that sparked your interest in the sport all night, until, about halfway through the game, you saw a name mentioned overhead.

Mathew Barzal.

You knew it was nothing. Literally nothing. There are plenty of other people named Mathew, idiot. But you couldn’t help the soft spark of memories in you. You pushed it out of your mind and went back to the game, even though something, just something was nagging away in your head. When you looked up to the screen above the ice, you caught a glance of the name again. Mathew, spelled with one ‘T’. A vivid memory pops to your head- you and Mat tracing your names and other words into the sand with sticks, just for fun, because that’s what entertains a ten-year-old apparently.

“I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

Mathew. One ‘T’. NHL. You knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, plenty of people probably spelled it that way, and you were probably grasping at straws, but hey what were the odds? A hockey player, Mathew. If only you could get a good look at the guy. Or… or something. You probably wouldn’t even recognize someone after ten years of not seeing them; you could hardly recognize ten-year-old you in photos! In your head, Mat was still eleven years old. Honestly, was there even a way to figure out if it was him or not? Ask him if he happened to meet a girl on a family vacation a decade ago? Yeah, and when would you get the chance to ask a professional athlete such personal questions?

...Well, tonight, apparently.

As you left your seats after the game, everyone happy and celebratory after a win, you almost had a heart attack when Amy grabbed your arm and shrieked. “Oh my God, oh my God, (Y/N)!” She pointed to her phone in shock, and you still couldn’t tell what she was reacting to, but calmed down, realizing it probably wasn’t life-threatening.

“Holy shit, Ames, are you trying to kill me?”

“Listen, listen.” She calmed down a bit, letting out a small laugh. “So let's just say someone I know, knows somebody,” You laughed a bit, knowing this was gonna be some new interesting gossip. “And they know where the players are going out to celebrate tonight.” She sent you a suggestive, winking look.

“No way. You want to go and… interact with them? Professional athletes? Us, talking to professional athletes?”

“I mean, yeah. Are you telling me you don’t want to flirt with a hockey player?” She saw the look on your face and shook her head. “Or! Or not even flirt. Just talk. Get a picture with them, or a signature? Or just let me talk and you can wave to them. I can promise you they’re all pretty nice to their fans.”

“You sound as if you’ve talked to them all before.”

“No, only one. And it was more of me talking and him saying ‘cool, cool.’ while he signed my jersey. But I always hear that they’re really sweet.”

“Well,” you thought for a moment. It would be pretty freaking cool to try and befriend a professional athlete, or even just pretend for a night that you knew them. You definitely don’t go out enough, you hadn’t really been to many bars- you had only turned 20 a few months ago and couldn’t drink yet, so what was the point? In fact, you’d barely left your tiny apartment since moving, and even though you weren’t one for bars or clubs, you were in New York City, for fuck’s sake! Might as well go out and live, right? “Alright, let’s go. But if we actually see them, you have to be my wing-woman.”

“Oh, hell yes.”

The bar you were going to wasn’t far from the rink, and according to a google search of the place, it didn’t seem too sleazy or gross- that was good. Of course it’s not sleazy, why would someone as rich as a bunch of professional athletes go to a sleazy bar? Because it was only a little further than where you had parked, the two of you walked together. As it settled in your head that you might actually see professional hockey players tonight, you started feeling a little nervous. Partially because you’ve never been in a place with that many famous people at once, but also because of the name that was still circling your brain.

“Hey, so I’ve had something on my mind because of this game.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re gonna think I’m completely crazy, but listen.” She looked up with a face, ready for your story.

“Give it to me.”

“Okay, so... this kid I told you about, that I met that summer? His name was Mathew. Spelled with only one ‘T’, I remember that clearly.” You laughed a bit, wondering how crazy you must have sounded to her. “And he told me he was gonna play in the NHL, right?”

After a second, you saw it click in her head. “No fuckin’ way. You think it’s Barzal?”

“Ames, I don’t know, I don’t know! There are plenty of Mathews who play hockey, right? But maybe he doesn’t even play hockey after all. Kids aren’t great at choosing their career paths, ya know? I just never learned his last name. I need his age or... something to identify him with.”

“He’s… like, 21, I think.”

“Yeah?” You paused. Why was this all actually matching up? “Yeah. So ten years ago he would’ve been eleven.”

“Holy shit, hoooolllly shit.”

“But I’m sure there are plenty of Mathews who are 21 right now.”

“Girl, holy shit. Look up a picture of him right now. If you had a summer romance with Barzy, I need to know immediately.”

“Okay, it still wasn’t really a romance, but same.” You pulled out your phone and typed his name into the search bar. “I don’t even know if I’ll recognize him after ten years.” Immediately after you opened the images tab, the first thing you noticed about him was the hair. Dark and thick and kind of wavy and looking extra soft in a few pictures, it did remind you of your Mat- whose hair had been full of sand and salt water and kept drying softly as he ran around in the sunlight- but you still couldn’t be 100% positive. It was after you scrolled past all the on ice pictures where you couldn’t really see his face well behind the helmet and found a picture of him- unstaged and off the ice and genuinely smiling- that you felt a strange spark ignite inside of you. Sunshine. His smile felt like sunshine. Maybe. Just, maybe.

Scrolling through other photos, your eyes caught one in particular. You opened a close up of his face and zoomed in a tiny bit more. Those eyes, shining all pretty and green in the sunlight. You could never forget them- not after ten years, and not after a hundred. His eyes, his chin, even the size of his goddamn nostrils, all the tiny, stupid details in his face… was this actually him? “Biiiitch....” Amy leaned closer to you and bumped shoulders with you in acknowledgment.

“What? Do you recognize something?”

“Kinda, yeah. It’s so weird.”

“So you think it’s seriously him?”

“I don’t know. But the last picture of his smile, I’d recognize that smile anywhere and… this. His eyes- that eye color…. I remember thinking it’s so pretty… even his fucking nostrils, Amy!” The fact that you took note of his nostrils might have been funny at another time, but you were currently having a crisis as to whether or not you were once friends with fucking Mathew Barzal.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re kinda big…”

“I… I don’t want to say that I think it’s him, that might just be me being too hopeful. But...”

“Holy shit. You might have been Barzy’s friend at one point. You could reconnect with him, and we could hang out with the players!” You shot her a look, and she knew to calm down. “Sorry. Alright, whether or not it was him, I’m still gonna get you to talk with him tonight.” You hadn’t realized that you had basically arrived at the bar, and you felt your heart start pumping you full of nerves as she opened the door. “You have my word.”

The bar wasn't too crazy- there was music playing overhead and that weird hazy bar feeling lingered in the air. Immediately you could see that there was a celebratory group of of tall men, some standing at the bar talking with each other, others talking with girls- some shared wedding bands with the women they were talking to, their wives apparently. So you figured those were the players.

“I can’t believe it.” Amy was still in shock next to you; you were too, but you needed to pull it together. “You and Barzal…”

“Well, we don’t actually know yet.” You pulled her into you by the elbow. “But please please don’t mention that to them, I don’t need them to think I’m crazy before I even talk to them.” She nodded back, but before either of you could comprehend what was happening, somebody- obviously one of the hockey players- seemed to catch her eye as they came into view near the bar. “A player you like?”

“Anthony Beauvillier.” She pronounced his name with an obvious swoon and you laughed. Oh, so this was that favorite player that she kept talking about. “Tito. Yeah. He’s cool.” She nudged you, smirking. “Oh! And he’s besties with Mat! I bet I could get him for you.”

“You? Talking to them?” As much as Amy liked to talk and wanted to meet the players, you knew she wasn’t the type to just go out and throw herself into conversation with somebody, and you knew she easily got tongue-tied- that’s where the two of you were most similar. But maybe it was just the fact that she was trying to help you out that gave her the boost of confidence to begin chasing after him. “Hey, actually, maybe we shouldn’t bother them. I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with fans.”

“We won’t pester them or anything. I’m sure they’ll see we’re not like, crazy crazy fans. Anyway we have a mission.”

“A mission?”

“Operation… I don’t know, Operation Find Mat Barzal for (Y/N).”

“Wow. Creative.”

“I know.” She laughed and smiled at you reassuringly. “Come on, both of us need to learn to be more assertive, don’t you think? We’re not annoying them, just telling them we think they’re cool, and maybe getting a picture. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” There was nothing you could say before she was- to your horror- reaching out and tapping Anthony’s arm. You were sure you looked nervous as he turned to look at the two of you, and your friend started rambling with a big starstruck smile on her face. “Hi, uh yeah. You’re cool.” You weren’t only feeling embarrassed yourself, but also for her. “I’m a big fan!”

To your surprise- or maybe not, he seemed like a sweet guy- he smiled back at her, and you almost melted under kinda his blue eyes as he looked between the two of you. He thanked her as she complimented his performance tonight and motioned to the phone in her hand. “You want a picture?”

“Yes please!” You took her phone for her to snap a couple of pictures of the two of them, glad that this guy seemed so chill and friendly. After the picture was taken, Amy still didn’t let him leave, no, to your absolute horror, she motioned to you. “My friend here, (Y/N), tonight was the first game she’s ever been to.” You could feel your cheeks heat up when he looked over at you, but couldn’t help but smile back up to him. Oh, he was kinda really cute...

“Oh yeah? Hope you enjoyed it.”

Oh. Oh, he was actually talking to you! “Yeah, yeah. I didn’t understand everything that was happening, I’m still learning, but.. it was still really fun!”

“Actually,” you felt Amy’s arm fall across your shoulders, and you looked over at her. God, what was she planning now? “(Y/N) happens to be a big fan of Barzy.”

“Oh God, Ames stop…”

“And I’m sure she’d like a picture with him. So if you could, I don’t know… point her in his direction, please? If he’s here? And if you think he’s got time for it?” You were in the middle of burying your red face in your hands in embarrassment when you heard him laugh goodheartedly.

“He wouldn’t mind. He likes talking to his fans.”

“Really?”

“I’m sure he’ll be especially happy to meet a new fan. He loves the praise.” All three of you laughed a bit, and you couldn’t believe that you were currently chatting with an NHL player. He looked behind his shoulder for a moment, before moving aside and motioning to the bar. “He’s over at the bar somewhere, by himself for the moment. Better hurry before someone else beats you to it.” There was a certain lilt in his voice, was… was he teasing you? You smiled- but it probably looked pretty nervous- and glanced over to Ames.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She winked at you and nudged you in the direction of the bar. “Go!”

You bit your lip to hold back the growing smile at the thought of getting to talk to him, whether or not he remembered you at all. You looked up at Tito with a quick “Thank you!” before snaking around him and finding your way to the bar.

It didn’t take you long to notice him- he had a recognizable face, and you’d recognize him anywhere after looking at pictures of him for the whole ten-minute walk from the rink to this bar. He was standing at the bar, drink in his hand, and scrolling through his phone, a lock of dark hair drooping onto his forehead. His skin looked so golden in this light, as if he was back under the sun on a hot summer day- and it gave him a striking resemblance to the boy you knew ten years ago. There was something so different about seeing him in person rather than as a photo on your phone- it sparked up a weird feeling inside of you. If this was really him, it had been ten years since you last saw him, and a lot changes in ten years of somebody’s life. It may have been a strange thought but, wow, puberty really hit him in all the right places. He looked… wow. His cheekbones, his jawline,…. Okay, maybe it was kinda thirsty- ogling him like this- but you couldn’t help it.

Not only had he obviously changed physically, but he might be a completely different person. He was a professional athlete now- why would he need you anymore? That much attention changes a person. He might not be as kind as he was back then at eleven years old, he might not want to be friends with you or reconnect.

That is, if this even is him.

You swallowed down all your nerves and slid up next to where he was standing.

“You really made it to the NHL, huh?” No shit he made it to the NHL, you thought. What the fuck kind of conversation starter is that? It was a painstakingly slow moment as he directed his full attention away from his phone and towards you, and could practically feel the shot of confidence and adrenaline draining from your body when his pretty, confused eyes met yours. Oh, they’re a lot more light brown than they are green, you noticed, and you wondered if maybe all your memories of his “dazzling, gleaming green eyes” were wrong. You realized how strange you must look to him- you were just a random girl, approaching a super successful, let alone attractive, professional athlete at a bar. He probably thought you were trying to get a drink off of him or get into his pants for the clout.

Maybe you were expecting him to look up and immediately recognize you after ten years and sweep you up into a hug like in the movies, but it certainly didn’t seem like that’s what was coming.

“Yeah…?"

He looked confused- his eyebrows furrowed up a bit as he looked you over, sizing you up or checking you out or just trying to figure out why this stranger was approaching him about his career choices. Suddenly, you found it difficult to hold eye contact. Of course he didn’t remember you. Who needs to remember their one-month-long friendship when they’re busy getting into the NHL? This was really starting to make you feel pathetic for holding onto the memory of your super short friendship for so long.

Well, you officially wanted the floor to open up and swallow you. Right now would be great. "Okay… that probably sounded really, really strange if you don't remember me. Or if it’s not even you. Umm, we hung out together in 2000 something…. 2008? The summer of '08?” You laughed awkwardly, trying desperately to lighten the mood. “We were, like ten, eleven?" He still said nothing, just watching you with a strange, unreadable look in his eyes. Oh god, you wanted lightning to strike you dead, NOW. Literally anything would be better than standing here waiting for him to say something, anything! Even if he just says 'Who the fuck are you?' It would be better than silence. The silence was humiliating. "Okay, I’m so sorry. I probably got this all wrong and look like a weirdo." Right as you started to back away to run to find Amy and get the hell out of here, he held out a hand.

“Wait, wait!" His eyebrows shot up as if he couldn’t believe something, his outstretched hand reaching back to run through his hair. "Holy shit. Is it… (Y/N)?" Your heart almost stopped right there, the moment he said your name, either that or it was beating so fucking fast you couldn't feel it. He said your name. Your name. He knows your name.

"Yeah.” You watched his face relax into a gleaming smile. Like sunshine. It’s him. You knew it now. “So I’m not crazy? It's… it’s actually you? Mat?"

"It's actually me." For the first time since you set foot in the bar, you felt yourself relax completely, and although you hadn’t had any alcohol, you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Jesus, it was actually him. You crossed your arms on the bar and lay your forehead down on it. "Sorry, I just, it took me a second. I should have recognized you sooner.” You laughed a little bit into your arms at the sheer craziness of the situation. He still had that same warmth to him, the way he was always able to make you feel happy and safe, like when he distracted you on the beach while your parents were yelling inside or when he went too far trying to scare you with crabs and had to hug you and promise you he’d protect you from them.

“I can’t believe this.” You lifted your head to look back up at him, and he had a wide smile spreading across his face. “We actually ended up in the same city ten years later without even knowing each other’s last names.”

“Holy shit. Ten years? I feel old. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday.” Your heart soared at the idea that he still thinks of you- of the fun you two had together that summer. He took a sip from his drink, going quiet and just staring at his glass with a smile.

“You still think about it?”

“Sure, sometimes. I wonder how you’re doing, and where you ended up. I guess you ended up in New York.” He looked back up at you, eyes catching yours and gleaming all honey-hued golden brown and sending butterflies straight to your stomach. You could barely contain yourself, it didn’t matter that this was Mathew fucking Barzal you were talking to because to you he was still just your Mat, and that was even better. The sandy little boy with scraped knees. You couldn’t help but imagine how many people would kill to be in your position right now.

“I guess I just thought you would have forgotten about that summer, considering how successful you are now and stuff.”

He shook his head, smiling softer and reassuringly. “C’mon. I could never forget about that. It was my favorite summer to date.” He extended an arm and dropped it across your shoulder, pulling you in closer- no closer than two friends should be, but much closer than you ever thought you’d be to someone of his "social rank". It wasn’t any closer than you’d been in the past, but you were children back then. Now, you were young adults with hormones. He was a man. You would be crazy not to notice how warm and built he felt under his hoodie from obvious years of playing hockey, and there were dirty thoughts spinning around your head as soon as his large hand dropped to your arm and the dizzying scent of his cologne hit your nose. “You want a drink?”

You blushed and stuttered, shaking away any indecent thoughts. “Uh, I- I can’t. Yet.”

He seemed confused for a moment before laughing. “That’s right! You're a year younger than me, right? Aww, you’re still a baby. Can’t even drink yet.” He ruffled your hair gently, careful not to actually mess it up, and called the bartender over and asked for a glass of water, making sure to let him know that you weren’t old enough to drink yet. You could only laugh, remembering how much he loved to tease you back then. He obviously hasn’t changed in that department. “Ya know, you could’ve just DM'd me or something as soon as you found me. You didn’t need to dramatically approach me in a bar.”

“Well, I did kinda only find you tonight,”

His eyes went wide with a smile. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, like an hour ago. Listen...” You launched into your story as to how you came to realize that your long lost friend was NHL star Mathew Barzal, and how you didn't actually know who he was as a player. He actually listened intently, unlike any of the disappointing boyfriends you’d had in the past. Man, whatever girl he gets is gonna be lucky. “I wasn’t sure if it was you or not. I spent the entire walk here looking up pictures and trying to decide if I actually recognized you or if it was just my brain being hopeful.”

“Wow. I guess I’ve changed, huh?” He rubbed a hand across his face, still smiling that stupid, beautiful smile that made you all nervous, and your eyes followed, tracing over the familiarity of his features- from his eyes up to his hair and down to his chin, maybe lingering for a second too long on the way his lips looked so soft and tender right now, curled up at the corners into a little smirk.

“Not that much, actually.”

You hadn’t realized how intimate that moment seemed until he caught your gaze, smiling cheekily, and you were pretty sure he knew you were just checking him out. “Lucky for you, you got to skip past my awkward teenage years.” He lightened the mood, poking fun at himself like he knew how to do. Brushing the hazy hot feelings out of the air and blaming them on the rush of meeting your childhood friend after all these years, you reached for your water in order to cool the fire inside of you and the blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sure I would’ve loved to see that.”

You and Amy were over the fucking moon when you went home that night. You had exchanged Instagram handles and said your goodbyes to each of the men you had been talking with- she claimed to have been talking to Tito for the rest of the night and honestly, you’d believe anything at this point, after learning that your childhood romance- ahem, friendship- was with Mat Barzal. It took everything in you not to shriek like crazed fangirls. As soon as you got out of the bar, the realization finally hit you that you finally found Mat, and meanwhile, Amy was starstruck, having spent the night actually talking to NHL players and actually holding solid conversation.

“Holy shit please tell me everything! Right now!”

“Ames…” You could have told her what it was like to talk to him, disregarding anything in your past, the way he listened intently and made you feel like the only person in the world when his eyes were on you. You took her hands and looked into her eyes seriously, “Ames, we were right.” Okay, so much for not shrieking. Your friend threw her arms around you, jumping up and down for you. You couldn’t blame her, everything that happened tonight was crazy.

“You’re telling me that the kid you hung out with at ten years old has evolved into the one and only Mathew Barzal? Did he remember you?”

To be honest, it had taken everything in you not to try and drag him home with you or go home with him. He was intoxicating in all his warmth, the way his nose scrunched up, and his eyebrows arched when he smiled. The way he threw his head back when he laughed. The scent of his cologne had buzzed around your senses all night, clouding your judgment and making you want to say “fuck reconnecting as friends” and jump him right there. In fact, it still lingered around you after being pulled against his chest all night, and part of you wondered if it was the alcohol in his system, though not enough to make him drunk, that caused him to wrap his arm over your shoulder. If you had maybe harbored a tiny crush since your summer with him, it was heightened times 100 because of tonight.

You could tell that reconnecting with him- and eventually becoming friends again- was going to take a lot of self-control if you were gonna feel like this the whole time.

“Yeah. And he wants to catch up tomorrow. He said he’d DM me.” Amy was in the middle of shrieking in joy for you when, as if on cue, your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the first thing you saw after opening it was a message.

barzal97: Get home safe :)

“Girl, he loves you!” You laughed and shook your head as she shook your shoulder and patted your back, “You snagged yourself a hockey player!”

After you left, Mat didn’t see any reason to stay out longer. He almost couldn’t believe it- had someone slipped something in his drink? Was this just a dream? But then he opened Instagram and scrolled through your Instagram momentarily after DMing you and stopped on a picture of you and your friends, it was clear- he’d found you. You’d found him, more like. After ten goddamn years. It felt like a movie. You still had the same vibe, he could feel it in him the moment you were beside him. What was it…? Familiarity. Warmth. Comfort. Nostalgia. Whatever it was, it was you. After taking a moment to reflect on everything that had just happened, he was quick to finish his drink and find his friend, wanting to head home and prepare for his little meetup tomorrow.

As he was heading out the door with Tito, Mat knew he needed to confide in somebody. “You’ll never guess what happened.”

“Does it have something to do with that girl I sent over?”

“(Y/N)? You sent her over?”

“Yeah, I was talking with her friend. I noticed she didn’t come back after going to look for you.” Mat noticed the suggestive tone in his friend's voice and felt his face go pink at the thought of hiding away in a bathroom to make out- and maybe more- with you.

“No! Nothing like that. She was my friend when we were kids.” He had a serious look on his face, and Tito knew that Mat wasn’t kidding about this. “Really. We have a crazy story. We met ten years ago on vacation. We hung out for a month, and I haven’t heard from her since. I didn’t know her last name or anything, and she didn’t know mine, so it’s not like we could look for each other. But she found me.”

“Wow. She just said she was a fan.”

“Well, wouldn’t you think they were crazy if they told you that story.”

“It does sound like a movie.” He laughed a bit, patting Mat’s back. “So, what’s the deal with her now? Friend? Do you liiiike her? Do you like-like her?” The teasing tone in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“What are we, in middle school?” But he still shrugged, sighing. “I don’t know. We’re going out to catch up tomorrow.”

“Ooh.”

“Shut up.” He went silent for a moment, wondering over his question. Did he like you? He wasn’t sure. “Ya know, she’s with me in almost every photo from that summer. That’s how much we were together.”

“Well, if you guys hit it off, you should date. I don’t need a competitor for best friend.” It was a joke, Mat knew and smiled at it, but he honestly couldn’t shake the idea of dating you. No, no, he’s only feeling this way because he hasn’t seen you in a while. It’s nothing but a bunch of resurfacing memories.

Hopefully, anyway.

The two of you really did hit it off the next day. And the next. And the next. And the next. You still got along just as well as you did when you were young, and maybe even better, now that you were adults and had more interesting things to talk about. He was funny, even funnier than he was as a child, and despite your original thought that the fame of being in the NHL must have changed him, he was actually kind of modest and shrugged and smiled with a pink flush on his face when you brought up his accomplishments. It was easy to be with him. He could talk and talk about his life and still keep you comfortable, inviting you to tell your own story, gushing over accomplishments that felt so small to you.

And that one catch-up date ended up being months and months more of friendship.

Friendship with Mat was one of the best things that ever happened to you. He was the ideal friend, he listened to you and kept an eye on you and pushed you out of your comfort zone when it was necessary. He loved hearing you talk about things you enjoyed and tried his best to find joy in your hobbies, even if he thought some were funny or boring. He was sweet, endearing, teasing. And it wasn’t long before he began bringing you out on casual outings with some of his personal friends, gushing and getting really into telling the story of how you were separated for ten years and reunited by maybe fate, maybe luck, who knew.

The only problem was that you wanted him to kiss you.

You wanted him to kiss you when you went out with him and Tito and Amy on Christmas, singing carols together and teasing him, asking him to sing louder because you loved the sound. You wanted him to kiss you on New Years, when you stood hand in hand in Times Square, shivering and smiling with red cheeks, but instead settled for a hug. You wanted him to kiss you after returning from his first All Star game in January, you wanted to congratulate him on being an All Star, because he spent so much time praising you and you wanted him to know he was just as amazing. You wanted him to kiss you when he was drunk on his 22nd birthday, all red-faced and giggly and dancing in the nightclub with a red solo cup in his hand and that stupid snapback on that made him look like a frat boy but suited him so well. He was hugging you to his side with one arm and, even like this, you were just praying that he would lay a messy, drunk kiss onto your cheek.

You just wanted his lips on yours. So, so bad.

But despite that, behind Amy, who was still holding onto the title of best friend, he was always the one you went to when you needed comfort or a companion or a distraction, or just to talk about certain things. Things like this.

A week after his birthday, seven months into your friendship, you showed up at his door without warning, slumping against the doorframe when he opened it. “I have a problem.”

“With showing up unannounced? Yeah, I know.” He was joking and smiling, but maybe you missed it with how stressed you were. When you didn’t respond, he must have noticed the tired, strained look on your face and his happy expression dropped. He let you into his apartment, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. It wasn’t an odd thing in your friendship, he was always a touchy guy, especially when you were down, and you always welcomed it. He pulled you over to sit at the island in his kitchen and sat across from you. “What’s wrong?”

“I got a voicemail from my parents today.” You were already pulling out your phone to play the voicemail for him. Ever since that one month on the beach eleven years ago now, you and your family had been going back every summer for a week, up until four years ago, when you suddenly had a summer job and couldn’t afford to take a week off. You missed the beach, sure, but you definitely didn’t miss the way your parents would always find a way to argue and fight. Now, they were calling you and asking if you could come along this year.

“I think I’m missing the problem here. What’s so bad about a beach trip?”

You sighed and lifted your head. “Well, I want to go, and I already got my boss’s okay to take that week off. I really miss the beach. But my family is just… so overwhelming sometimes. I could try to hang out alone the whole time, but I’ll go crazy before the week is over.” There was a pause as Mat leaned back in thought, considering his options. Was this crazy? Was he crazy for doing this? Definitely. But, fuck it, ya know?

“I can come with.”

You scoffed. "No way, I'm sure you have other plans."

"Not really. Not that week." He saw the look on your face, and he really didn’t want you to have to deal with your family all alone for a week. "Look, I'll pay for my share of the trip, and I won't bother anybody." You laughed. There's no way Mat could go a week without bothering anybody. He laughed along, glad to see you happy. "Seriously. If you need somebody, I'll be there."

And that was it. That was how you ended up on a beach trip with the one and only Mathew Barzal, eleven years after you first met..

The first few hours of the trip down were blurry. Your family, in true vacationer nature, decided that all of you, your parents, siblings, you and Mat, should carpool together. So, at 8:00 AM, you loaded into the car, your parents up front, obviously, your younger twin siblings behind them so they could be monitored, and you and Mat in the very back. This was definitely a bad idea, 100%, but you couldn’t help the giddy feeling that sparked up inside of you when you told your family you would be bringing a boy along. Or the feeling you got when you looked at Mat sitting next to you, looking worn out and sleepy after six hours of travel-rest stop-travel-gas stop, with four more hours of travel left and suggested he try to get some sleep. You slept through the rest of the day, only waking up for bathroom breaks and rest stops, until eventually, you woke up around six in the evening with your head on Mat’s shoulder and his body angled towards yours, snoring softly and looking ever so soft.

“Mat, Mat wake up.” You shook him gently, laughing at the way he was drooling a little bit. He blinked his pretty eyes open and looked around, a little dazed.

“Are we there?” His sleepy, mumbling voice was so cute.

“Technically, yeah. But we can’t get into the rental house until tomorrow morning. So we found a place to sleep.” He groaned, his eyes slipping shut in protest, and showed no sign of moving from his seat. “Come on, you’d rather sleep in a real bed than this car, right?”

Those words had him slipping out of the car, his eyes half shut and holding your hand loosely, dragging his feet the whole way as you led the way to your shared room. He looked so cute in this outfit, grumpy and soft in a tee shirt and shorts and his hair looking extra messy. There was nothing you wanted to do more than sleep, but one detail had you stopping in your tracks as you opened the door. Your parents had paid for three rooms- one for them, your siblings, and you and Mat- and of course, since your parents hated each other and apparently can’t stand to sleep in the same bed anymore, you and Mat got stuck in the room with one bed. Mat didn’t seem to care though, as he dropped his slides by the door and immediately collapsed in the bed, falling asleep almost immediately after mumbling for you.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get in...”

As you dropped down beside him in bed an appropriate distance from him and tried to ignore the sleeping beauty beside you, you began wondering if this whole trip was a bad idea. No, no way, you quickly pushed that thought away. This was Mat, your Mat, and you’re actually on the beach again with him. You fell asleep that night with a smile on your face, listening to the soft snores of the man beside you and trying to imagine what your week had in store for you.

Realistically, there's only one thing you can predict about this trip- it’s gonna take a lot of self-control.

#i feel like im really gonna be proud of this fic #smile like sunshine #mat barzal #mathew barzal #nhl writing #mine #my post #op #fanfiction #imagine #fic

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salemwolfgang · 6 years ago

Text

The Night Of The Yule Ball

Summary: All she wanted was a perfect night at the Yule Ball with her boyfriend. Was that too much to ask?

Paring: Severus Snap x Slytherin!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Smut, Teacher x Student, And Fluff

A/N: {not proof read} If more warnings are needed please tell me! Also tell me what you think about this and the last part was kinda rushed I’m sorry.

Everyone was nervous as ever to go to the Yule Ball. After all why wouldn’t they be? It was a night of both elegance and excitement within Hogwarts. Not many of these things were done during the year.

And though you were just as excited as the rest you found yourself to be more nervous than most. So much so that you were unable to focus on anything the whole day. You were usually listening to everything around you and remembered even the smallest details in a conversation but today you couldn’t find it in you to pay attention to anything.

You found yourself whispering words of encouragement to help relieve yourself of some of the anxiety. “Theres nothing to worry about, Johnathan will be there with you. He always helps you.” Though the words themselves didn't do much, the thought of your boyfriend, Johnathan, seemed to help.

Johnathan was a sixth year Ravenclaw, and though he was younger than you by a year, he had been there for you for seven months. Long enough for you to grow to really trust and like him. Although he was not the one you truly desired, due to not having any chance with your real crush. He was the best option.

Johnathan had, of course, asked you to the ball— as expected of him, yet when he asked it gave you butterflies. You hadn’t expected him to and was beginning to think you’d go alone but he surprised you nonetheless. But as memorable as it was, the phrase “puppy love” had remained within your thoughts for the last few weeks afterwards.

That phrase had been uttered by your Potions Master, Professor Snape. He had been wondering the halls and saw Johnathan ask you to the ball in his outrageous way. He then gave him detention for disturbing the peace amongst the school halls and for just being a nuisance in general. You giggled a bit and did think it was a tad bit unneeded but after awhile, you realized that he was right. The way he did the “proposal” of sports had caused many to stare and be distracted. So you said nothing, in slight fear of also getting the unwanted detention.

Your racing thoughts had almost distracted you at the task you were currently trying to do, so you shook your head and got back on track. Presently you were trying to choose a suitable dress for the ball and were down to two options: to your right a lime green fading to a dark evergreen dress, while to your left a silver and green ruffled dress. Both were quite beautiful and that was what made it so hard to choose.

As you thought about which one to choose your mind began to wonder. Your goal was to pick on that would impress Johnathan. It had to be perfect. You had come to terms with this sated of mind after the first month of dating Johnathan, which was always making it your duty to be sure he liked everything about you.

It was the one thing you could do for him that actually caused him to talk to you. See Johnathan wasn’t much of a talker, he never really was much of an affectionate lover either to be quite honest. Which often concerned you. So in order to make sure he remained interested in you you’d often do things a bit out of your comfort zone.

Shaking your head of the wondering thoughts once again, you made a quick decision and chose the lime and evergreen dress and slipped it on. After it was on you started to do your hair, you made sure to choose a style that would show off your face more. You hummed quietly as you completed each task. Your last step was make up, something that you dreaded but very much so had to do for this night.

You only applied a little makeup ring sure to highlight your natural-and more favored-features. After finishing you got up and stood in front of the mirror and examined yourself throughly; making sure everything was perfect.

‘He will love it, I do look rather elegant. Something Johnathan will enjoy..... hopefully.’ You though to yourself.

You jumped suddenly as your heard someone call out your name. it was yell out once more and that’s when you recognized the voice. It belonged to your close friend, Peggy Pews.

“(Y/N)! Let’s go!” She yelled out one last time.

Grabbing your hand bag you ran off to meet with her. Both of you headed down the stairs and through the halls. When you reached your desired destination Peggy left to go with her date, Mathew. Glancing around for your date you. Thankfully found Johnathan not to far away, talking with a few of his friends.

You took a deep breath before making your way up to him. He hadn’t noticed you yet so you tapped him gently on the arm. He turned to you. You noticed how he’s smile dropped but said nothing about it.

“Johnathan, are you ready?” You asked, smiling at him. Hoping he would give you one in return.

Instead he only looked at you. A bored expression clear as day on his face. His friends seemed to find the interaction funny because they began to laugh, at what exactly? You had no idea but you soon found out.

“(Y/N), I’m afraid I have no more interest in an annoying useless child such as yourself. I’m tired of these little games you insist on playing. So I’ve decided to do what’s best for me and my reputation. I’m breaking up with you.”

Your smile faded slowly as he went on about why in horrible detail. Soon tears welled up in your eyes causing your vision to blur greatly.

“Oh look she’s crying!” One of his friends yelled.

Some of them began to laugh. A few said some nasty, truly horrible things. One called you a mud-blood, a few said you were a horrible witch and would never get far in the world and some mimicked your crying.

“Go on, you’re not needed leave.” One of them told you.

This triggered an ugly sob to leave your mouth. Quickly you ran off. To where? You had no idea nor did you care. You just needed to get a way from them. From them all. The students. The teachers. The school. Just everything.

Soon you found the road where the carriages were. Not really caring who it belonged to you ran into the closest one and slammed the door shut. Sitting in the corner of the seat you grabbed a hold of your legs pulling them tightly against your chest.

Loud sobs forced themselves out your throat. You shoved your face into your dress to muffle them Incase anyone walked by. Fat tears poured out of your eyes seeming to have no end.

‘Why? Why does it hurt so much?’ You thought. This only seemed to cause more distress, which led to more tears.

Your chest shook hard as you continued to cry. Causing your breathing to become irregular. Which only applies more stress to your already broken state. You tried to focus on muffle your sounds.

Suddenly you felt the carriage shake as the door swung open. Then a deep voice began to shout, “Thirty points from-“ and then they stopped.

You glanced up and tried to decipher at whoever had found you in this horrible state. To little success though, due to your blurry vision.

“Ms. (L/N), what are you doing?” The voice sounded familiar after hearing it a second time. Though you still couldn’t pinpoint exactly who it was. Right now that was the least of your worries though.

Once again reminded of the hour before you could only whimper in response before continuing to cry. You felt the carriage shake and then heard the door close. At first you thought whoever it was had left.

Making you believe they didn’t want to help someone such as yourself. So you curled up tighter. Then you suddenly felt slightly cold hands wrap themselves around your arms. They slowly rubbed circles into you an attempt to sooth you.

Once it had fully clicked that they were going to comfort you you gave little care at all about who exactly it was and you threw yourself into their arms. Crying into their chest. A few short moments passed until you felt them wrap their arms around you. You began to breathe properly in for what felt like the first time.

Exhausted, you just stayed there laying against them. Your hands still tightly clinging onto them in a desperate matter.

You soon wanted to see who it was that stayed with you. You wanted to thank them for being their in your desperate time of need and due to the lack of lights you could barely see much. So you decided to wait for a bit and began to focus on calming yourself for a while longer. Trying to keep your breathing the same as theirs.

Once you were finished and could breath steadily, you started thinking about the sensation of their hands rubbing you. It was calming. Very much so that it only soothed your already exhausted manner, into a much, sleepier state.

“Thank you.” You whispered hoping whoever it was, that they had heard you.

They said nothing at first, making you think he had not heard you. So you went to say it again but louder. Until they spoke, and at that moment you realized who it was you were with. Which frightened you slightly.

“It is alright Ms. (L/N).” Professor Snape whispered back.

You felt embarrassed, you had forced yourself on to the most dreaded teacher in Hogwarts, Proffeser Snape. Surely he was angry at you. He only was pretending to be okay with it. You began to wonder how you would apologize to him. Quickly thinking of one you began to speak again.

“Snape-“ you started before he cut you off.

“Just call me Severus, (Y/N).” A bit shocked you paused before continuing on.

“Severus, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to grab into you like this. I can leave if you’re in comfortable. After all I did do this without asking. I didn’t know who you were and... and.. I just.” You suddenly began to cry again, this time in fear of being in trouble and for bothering Severus.

“No need to be upset. You are safe. I will not be mad.” He told you. Whispering softly into your ear.

His voice calmed you. You calmed yourself once more before looking up at him. “You are exhausted, no?” You nodded. Unable to speak in fear of stuttering. ”Then I have no choice but to take you to my chambers, you will be safe there and you can sleep peacefully there.”

He lifted you slightly, enough to remove himself from under you, and got of the carriage. He turned back lifted you up. You thought he’d set you down but he just continued to walk. Saying nothing as if this was natural. It almost felt as if it was.

You hid your face when you heard the sound of other students near by. You didn’t want the professor to get in trouble after all. What he was doing was very unusual compared to his regular self. You kind of loved this side. Only you seemed to know about it. You were special.

You felt you chest flutter with an emotion that you could not quite place. Perhaps this feeling was love?

Soon you found yourself standing outside her room. The door opened after he mumbled a spell. It was a large room with potions bottles both filled and empty, as well as books placed in all sorts of places, and there was few furniture only enough to show it was a living environment.

“(Y/N), my bedroom is up those steps and to the right. You may..... pick something to wear and sleep.”

You sat there in questioning. Where would he sleep? You decided to voice your thoughts aloud, just to be assured he wouldn’t sleep anywhere uncomfortable.

“But, Severus. Where will you sleep? Certainly not the couch. It’s too uncomfortable, you’ll be up all night.”

“You surly don’t think I’d sleep you you. You’d have to be a dunderhead to think that. And I do believe you’re not.... aren’t you?” His question made you sit here. Was that an insult?

“I guess so. You must sleep in the bed. I insist, I’m only a guest and...” You stopped, no you couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t know you couldn’t sleep alone.

You’d seem even more like a dunderhead. But if it meant he would sleep comfortably then you’d have to.

“And what?”

“I can’t sleep alone. I always have Peggy or Sarah sleep with me.” You told him shyly. A light blush coating your ears and checks.

He scoffed and instantly you felt embarrassed. Maybe you shouldn’t have told him. Maybe he didn’t want you to sleep in his room anymore.

“Fine. But you tell no one.” You quickly nodded your head and ran to his room.

Being sure not to trip from your dress. Up in his room was a bit more different than his other room. It was cleaner but the bed looked to be made of silk and clouds. You practically moaned at the thought of laying on it. You began looking for something to put on. You opened a draw and saw a black long sleeved shirt, a small whole was near the chest area and one by the end of the left arm. You thought nothing if it and grabbed it to wear. You then began to search for some bottoms but found none.

Reluctantly you decided to wear just the shirt. Slowly you began to strip from the green dress. A small pang of hurt ran through your chest. You wished the night didn’t go as it had. You were very grateful that Severus helped you but you wished it had gone as expected.

Once the dress was off you, you began to unhook your bra. You then began to imagine what Severus’ hands would feel like undoing it for you. His hands would come up from behind and grope you lightly. The thought did you of any negative thought for the night. Now only a small ache between your legs could be felt. Though you did nothing. You couldn’t, Severus would be disgusted.

You grabbed the black shirt and pulled it over your head quickly. The cold from the room was starting to make its self more prominent and you shivered lightly. No wonder he always wore so many layers. It was freezing in here. Much unlike the Slytherin common room, surprisingly.

A knock was heard at the door and you heard Severus ask to come in. You said yes and began to pick up your dress and shoes. He was no longer wearing his winter robe for outside and was now in his regular attire.

“(Y/N), it’s time we rest now.” You nodded your head and went towards the bed and placed your clothes on the floor next to you.

You then lifted the blankets and scooted into the bed. Severus doing the same next to you. After a while of sitting there you felt yourself start to drift off into a peaceful sleep. What you did not know was that Severus would be plaguing your dreams in a lustful manner.

Severus had yet to sleep, deciding he would read a book before bed. Though he quickly became distracted as you began to make small noises. At first small whimpers, making him think it was a nightmare, but then moans. You were having a wet dream. In his room. On his bed. To make matters worse you moaned out his name.

“Severus... ngh... faster.”

He couldn’t believe it. What his ears were hearing end eyes were seeing had to be a wrong. A mere hallucination. Though he new it was not.

Soon he found himself becoming aroused by the noises you made. A light groan left his mouth as he felt the pressure of his pants push against his half-hard-on. He couldn’t take it anymore and began to act up on the urge to feel your skin on his. It had been so long since he acted on any sexual urge so his strength was weak.

He scooted down the bed and moved over to where he was bellow your waist. He pulled the covers away and started to kiss up your leg. This caused you to squirm but you remained asleep. He continued upwards towards your womanhood. He pushed up the black shirt and began to remove your now soaked underwear.

He couldn’t believe you were this wet from a dream about him. He started to lick along the innards of your thighs. Lapping his tongue at the wetness your pussy let out. Soon he found himself running his tongue along your folds. At this point you were awake and moaning loudly. Your hands buried in his long hair and pushing you hips down against his face.

You craved more friction and he gave you that by adding two fingers into your entrance. A soft moan from the light pain came out but was quickly forgotten of when he began to work both his tongue and hands.

“Oh Severus! Please... please! I need you in me!” You begged to him.

A smirk appeared. His cockiness making itself present. The sound of you begging was something that brought great delight to him. A few thrusts of his fingers and then he was unzipping his pants.

Bringing his fully erect cock to your needy entrance. His thrusts were merciless. Hard and fast, you began to see stars. You never experienced so much pleasure at once before. It was new and very exciting. You have no idea a man such as Severus would be able to do this to you.

You loved every moment of it. Each thrust brought you closer to your undoing. He started kissing up your neck leaving hickies on either side. He wanted to mark you and show everyone who you belonged to. Who owned your body. Because now he did and he wouldn’t allow anyone to take you away from him.

“Sev.... I..I’m cumming!” He came into you and stayed in you.

You said nothing as he pulled you into him and rested your head on his chest. Your finger clung to him. The two of you stayed like that all night in each others arms. Not one word was uttered; to afraid to ruin the moment.

In the morning you awoke to Severus slowly thrusting in and out of you. You tiredly sat up and but you hands into his chest causing him to stop.

“Let me do it.” He starred in wonderment but managed to nod.

Your hips moved back and forth grinding on him. Small groans left his lips which encouraged you to speed up. They were deep and you felt his chest rumble when he did. Soon he came once again inside you. Some of it leaked out, you couldn’t tell if it was last nights or this mornings but it didn’t matter.

He casted a spell that caused clothes to appear and wipe you down. Once you were cleaned you tried to remove yourself from him but he grabbed your hips and pushed you down.

“No. You must remain there.”

“Severus, do you.... do you have a breeding kink?” You asked hesitantly.

He glared at you but said nothing. A small smile came to show on your face and he just pulled you down on him. Forcing you to no longer face him. You still smiled though. The action was cute.

The Severus Snape, evil head of Slytherin house and professor of potions, was technically cuddling with you. You stayed silent feeling as if talking about it would only upset him. You found yourself once again being cleaned and your eyes fluttering closed. You were exhausted. Emotionally, physically and mentally. Oddly you loved it.

“Severus, I think I love you. Maybe it’s just me and that’s okay but I just wanted to let you know.” And then you drifted off to sleep.

Not before you heard him say, “Perhaps I feel the same way. Perhaps.”

A content smile found itself on your sleeping face. As well as on his.

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