#but last semester it was mostly about a specific subject and I could skip bits and pieces that didn't matter

[ddems2]

my professor asks us for a list of bibliography, fair, but like, sorry that I can't find anything on a random dictator who was in power for like 6 months?

[kayzume]

Pairing: Bokuto x Reader

Genre: a tiny, tiny bit of angst, but mostly fluff:>

wc: 4.1k, who knew i can pull of something this long😃

Note: This fic is my gift to @jayeray for our server secret santa, Happy Holidays to you I hope you had a great Christmas and I hope we get to talk more (timezone is sht, I must be asleep when yer online🥲)I hope this piece makes you smile:>. Also sorry for shamelessly asking three people to beta this bec im not sure about how it turned out, also bec my grammar is sht(T ^ T)—also lemme thank the internet by helping me with them vows, only edited some parts of it to fit the story better..

Beta: @thirstyforthem2dmen , @india-katsuki , @prismaintales kithes to all of u

Back to Masterlist

Life is filled with fluttering moments, these events mark something within us that would either make us...or break us. You guessed that most of your story has made you what you are today. You were walking in the park hand in hand with Koutaro and your daughter, playing with his hair while she sat on his shoulders.

��Momma can I ask something?” your daughter spoke breaking silence.

“What is it baby?” you responded

“How’d you meet dad?” she asked cocking her head to the side, much like her father when he’s curious. You smiled at her,

“Well…”

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‘The Meeting’

“Hey, Hey” you ignored whatever that was and whoever was making those annoying calls. Your face remained buried on the textbook required for your literature elective. Lost in your own thoughts and the flow of music through your earbuds, you missed the exasperated sigh that left the lips of the one and only Bokuto Kutaro, star player of the volleyball team.

“Hey miss!” tap tap the loud tapping burst your train of thoughts pulling one of your buds out, you glared at the man in front of you.

“What? You got nothing better to do buddy?!” you spat in utter annoyance.

“You’re in my seat” he replied grimly, lowkey telling you to scoot over. You, in return, refused to leave your spot; checking every nook and cranny to try and look for names or scribblings.

“Doesn’t have your name on it, you can’t stake a claim and this is school property” you argue pettily. He looked at you in disbelief.

“B-but Akaashi sits right here” he whispered, albeit to himself. You stifled a scoff, he looked so upset at the fact that he can’t sit beside this ‘Akaashi’ person. You cleared your throat and offered him the other side of your spot, which is free.

“Why don’t you sit here instead, you’d still be near your friend. I wouldn’t hinder any chatter that you decide to make” is what you told him. There’s no particular reason as to why you wouldn’t move instead, just that your pride isn’t letting you, besides his reactions are very much worth the trouble. The classroom doors creaked open, students pouring in and occupying the seats. A man with dark hair approached you, or rather the seat beside you. He eyed the person you were conversing with just now. He didn’t utter a word and took his seat beside you. A few minutes later the bells started ringing signaling the start of lectures, your professor walked in clutching big old dusty books of classic literature, your not so favorite. The only reason you were even taking this class is for the extra credits, that you most definitely do not need. You were bored and needed a new source of entertainment. For normal students this must seem ridiculous, because studying isn’t counted as a source of fun. Take note ‘normal’ you were far from normal. You’re friendless, you were having a hard time mingling with others your age. It's not that you were getting bullied, it's just you and your foreboding trust issues. You hated the feeling of betrayal and refused to remember what it was like, so as a coping mechanism you refused to make friends, or even open up to anyone.

Bokuto was upset that he didn’t get to sit beside Akaashi, he was a year ahead but the volleyball coaches as much as they hate to prevent him from playing official games, he was failing english literature and needed to keep up his grades in order to enter the court again. Easier said than done, his literature class held him back from moving further. His professor sponsored his letter so that he will only be held back by one subject and not the whole year, all he had to do now is pass the semester with flying colors, and so far he was having a hard time. That’s the reason he needed to sit near Akaashi so the later can help him with his studies, then this woman came out of nowhere and taking his seat is not helping the least bit and he hates it.

“L/N-san we would like to request your assistance” your professor spoke in a low voice. Assistance in what matter, it seems important that it looks almost impossible to refuse.

“I’d be glad to lend a hand, but with what, sensei you rarely ask for favors it feels new” you replied

“Please tutor Bokuto Kotarou, he’s an oncoming senior but has been held back by this subject. If he fails one more time he’d have to repeat the whole year, and this might also put a bad name for his sports scholarship” She explained, you looked at the profile of the student you need to tutor, it was him, the guy with condiments hair.

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“Condiments hair?” your daughter asked in confusion

“Mom was so mean right?? She called dad condiments, do I look like a bottle of ketchup baby?” Koutaro countered on your daughter with faux pity.

“Oh please, your hair is literally salt and pepper, and yeah you looked like a bottle of ketchup when you blush” you chuckled responding to them.

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‘The Courtship’

It’s been five months since you started teaching Kotarou, and the two of you were past the last name formalities. He was still the same as when you first met, loud and annoying. But you’d never tell him that, because as you’ve observed he has times where he just suddenly drops his attitude and becomes sort of gloomy head in the clouds type of persona. It was confusing and downright weird.

You were at the library looking for articles that can support your paper. It was 6pm, you were hungry and sleepy from studying the whole day, and you were starting to get bored. But since your paperwork is nowhere near done you just couldn't leave.

You heaved a deep sigh and rubbed your now strained eyes, feeling the drowsiness trying to pull you into passing out.

BAM.

You suddenly jolted in your seat, you looked at your side where the loud thump came from. Koutaro was pulling the seat beside you.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have practice” you asked him, he rarely— almost never skips his volleyball practices.

He sat down properly and jingled a bag in your face.“I had a feeling you’d be hungry by now, I heard from Akaashi that you’re pulling all nighters for your class paper, besides we didn't have session today too, and yes, I have practice today” He replied so calmly it weirded you out a bit.

“Then what—” you started asking again when he rudely pressed his pointing finger at your lips. You were so tempted to bite him.

“I ditched, because of our session” he told you, “and also because I want to bring you some food” he continued.

“Kou, we don’t have sessions during Fridays. You specifically asked me to skip tutoring you on Fridays because you said you want to spend this day hanging out with your friends” you replied to his nonsense. You’re grateful that he thought of you and brought you food, but also you didn’t want to take away his personal time with his friends.

“Uhh y/n, you are my friend too so technically I’m still hanging out and spending my time wisely” he told you while opening a bag of pretzels for the two of you to share. You were thankful you picked the most isolated wing of the library to study or else you two would’ve been kicked out from munching loudly.

You blushed a shade of pink not because he said he sees you as a friend, your cherry blossom cheeks represent the embarrassment and lowkey disappointment that you felt knowing that a friend is all that you will be to him.

“I meant special. You’re a very special friend y/n, and that I hope you’ll allow me to offer you more than a special friendship…” he trailed off looking deeply in the depths of your pooling eyes. You can’t help but feel overwhelmed at the butterflies that started storming from within you. If you were a cherry blossom before, you’d definitely be a red rose now.

“Whatever do you mean by that?” you asked him sheepishly, lowering your head to shield him from seeing you in such an unsightly state. You fiddled with your hands whilst waiting for him to give you an answer.

“Y/n, C-can I court you?” He replied with a sweet smile.

‘The Answer’

It’s been a couple of months since Bokuto’s confession and up to this day you still feel giddy about it. Who would’ve thought that you’ll attract someone the complete opposite of you.

Whenever he visits your dorm or whenever you accompany each other somewhere he doesn’t fail to do something sweet to show his affection towards you. You were having mixed feelings whether to give him a chance or not. ‘Relationships are scary’ you thought, but the idea of him doing those sweet things for others gives a painful churn within you. He invited you to attend a game of his and cheer for him.

“Cheers for goodluck” is what he said the last time you met, which was the day before. You entered the gym, the bright lights blinding your sight. Lightly covering up you headed for the bleachers.

The place was already packed from students and other volleyball patrons. You see some free seats, only to be disappointed when they were actually reserved, you turn to leave for a new place when,

“Y/n!! where are you going? Your seat is right here!!” you craned your neck to where the voice came from only to see Koutaro waving at you. He walked to where you were.

“Sit here and cheer for me as loud as you can” he told cracking a beautiful smile. He wasn’t even doing anything special but you could feel the hotness creeping it’s way from your neck to your cheeks.

“O-okay, do your best out there” without even thinking your body moved on its own to give him a peck on his cheeks. His face contorted in surprise, you thought you did something wrong that it made you a little bit conscious, as you we’re pulling away he held your hand and you stared at his blushing face.

“Do it again” he almost sounds commanding if not for his hands slightly shaking in yours

“W-what...I’m sorry my body moved on it’s own” you started,

“Do it again...to double the luck” is what his reply was, you looked down feeling the loud thumping of your heart in your chest you quickly gave his other cheek a peck.

“G-go now, I think the game is about to start” you shoo him away as you try to calm yourself down. You can’t believe you kissed someone. And in public too. For other people it may not be a big thing but for you, that kiss felt special.

(Game goes, 4th Set)

They were at match point and as the game goes, Koutaro suddenly went on his ‘emo mode’, he was dumbfounded just standing there. You looked worried, there was no way they’re going to lose.

“Just one more point” you whispered to yourself, the ball was set and it looks like Koutaro will go for a shot, he still looked out of it. He needs to get out of his slump. An idea came to mind, it was so unlike you to do something like that but you closed your eyes and just goes for it.

“Take that shot and win!!” you screamed the loudest that you can. You saw him stiffen and slowly he ran and jumped, he spiked the ball so hard it bounced with a hard thud, you almost thought it left a mark on the floor. You heard the loud cheers and a loud buzz, signaling that the game comes to a close.

You sighed in relief to see that your little stunt helped him. You were about to go to and congratulate him when he meets you somewhere in the middle.

“Did I do great y/n-chan?” he asked, his eyes sparkling in anticipation almost as if waiting for a praise.

“You did absolutely great, I had fun watching you,I’m sorry I barely cheered loud, I’m not used to public gatherings like this” you shook your head in embarrassment

“Thank you for cheering me on, uhh y/n since we won, don’t you think it’s fitting that i get a gift from you” he told you. You were a bit puzzled, you didn’t get him anything.

“I- I didn’t get you anythi—” you started only to be cut off by him asking,

“Can I please date you now?”

You smiled at him, “Yea sure”

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“I don’t get it, what was the gift that you gave him, if you didn’t buy him one” she asked again tilting her head

“I gave him my answer” you only smiled on her more evident confusion

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‘The Veil and The Bow’

“Calm down Bokuto-san, everything is perfect” Akaashi told Bokuto as they waited for the large wooden doors to open. It has been 5 years since the two of you started going out and 6 months since he proposed. When you said ‘yes’ to his impromptu proposal he couldn’t believe his ears, at first he was worried and ready to pass it off as a joke but then…

“LET'S GO FOR A DRIVE!!” Koutaro screamed out of nowhere, you gave him a look. Raising an eyebrow in confusion you asked,

“Right now?” he must be joking you thought

“Why not?” he asked dumbly, cocking his head to the side

“Uhh..Kou, it’s 11pm.” you told him nonchalantly, you continued filing on your laptop when you felt him tug at your shirt.

“What?” you asked him without looking, he tugged again. This time as you take on his face, he bit his pouty lips and looked at you straight in the eyes as if begging.

“Really? Where are we even going?” you asked him again whilst standing up and slipping on your warmer.

He looked so excited he rushed to get his keys when he came back to you. He engulfed you in a big hug, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck.

He let out a small “Thank you”

Feeling his hot breath tickling your neck, you gently pushed him off.

“Are we just gonna stand and hug here?” you jabbed him jokingly as if to hide your reddening cheeks. He held your hand and guided you to his awaiting car. You’ve been driving for quite a while, just seeing where the night takes the two of you.

It took you the beach

You walked on the cold sand hand in hand. It was dark and chilly, you shuddered and Koutaro held you close to him, you heard him squeak,

“What was that? Did you say something?” you asked him just to make sure.

“We’re here” he announced, you looked at your surroundings only to see a gazebo all set up with candles, a picnic blanket and plush pillows. You looked at Koutaro stunned

“T-this is all planned?” you asked him stunned at the effort he pulled. No wonder he badly wants to go. You felt warm through the cold on how sweet he was

“You looked so stressed with work I thought that a date will cheer you up even a little” he told you as he fiddled with his hands, even though he was slightly looking down you can clearly see his reddish ears. You couldn’t contain yourself so you tiptoed and kissed him.

“Thank you Kou, having you around is already calming to me, but you did all this too, you’re so sweet, i love you you’re the best thing I could ever ask for” you told him while caressing his cheeks.

He moved his hands to engulf yours, he slowly pushed your hands of to his mouth, giving your palms a peck.

“No, thank you y/n for giving me a chance to be with someone like you,” he told you as he stared at you lovingly.

The night goes by and the two of you ate, laughed, and told each other stories. You two were lying quietly staring at the stars glittering in the night sky.

Sigh.

You looked at Koutaro after he heaved that deep sigh.

“Hey, something wrong” you nudged him a little.

“Nothing...it’s just that I want us to stay like this forever, happy and contented, say y/n, can I ask you something?” he replied, you were curious as to what he was going to ask it seems like a big deal to him.

“Hmm?” you hummed in response

“Y/n...will you stay with me for as long as you can..i mean forever..i mean as long as we can, Can we stay with each other” he asked you in almost a whisper

“Are you—” you were about to ask when he looked at you in all seriousness.

“Y/n L/n, will you marry me?” you can’t keep the surprise in your face, you blushed deeply, it was weird for him to be this serious, but you’re not gonna lie you like this side of him too, you stared at him for a hot minute and cracked your sweetest smile.

“I thought you’d never ask”

The big doors cracked open, the music flowing, Bokuto stared as you walk to where he was, at the altar, waiting.

As the wedding goes on, it was finally time to say your vows, you looked at Koutaro who is now holding a microphone on his left hand and his right gripping into yours,

“Since the day I met you, I knew you were a special woman. And even though I suck at Literature,it will forever be my favorite subject that I ever enrolled in. From that day forward that I met you in that god forsaken class, I became a true believer that you do not find true love, but true love finds you.

You, more than anyone else, know my insecurities and weaknesses and still never make me feel inadequate. You have always loved me without reservations. You praise me in a way I never thought was possible and because of you, I am the best man I can be.

I cannot promise I will always be the perfect husband, but I promise to love you through the good times and bad. To choose our love every single day. I promise to always fight with you and for you, never against you. I promise to always be your biggest fan, confidant and best friend. I promise to remember we are not perfect—only perfect for each other. I promise to love you without hesitation or boundaries from this day forward, for the rest of my life.

Thank you for being the woman of my dreams and the best partner I could ever ask for. Thank you for being the pillar that my wacky soul has always needed and I will forever be your wings. Everything in me recognizes your heart as my home and your arms, my shelter.

You are my better half and very best friend. I will love you, honor you, respect and cherish you in sickness and health, through sorrows and success, for all the days of my life. I am forever yours."

You bit your lip to calm yourself from sobbing into his heartfelt words. You felt his love from every single thing that he spewed out. You were thankful to where you are now, you were thankful to god that gave you a man like Bokuto Koutaro to love you. As you dab away the heavy tears on your face and as clear your throat you tell him your vows in return.

“I want so badly to be able to explain all the love I have for you. Not the love of butterflies and stomach knots—but more the blurring of self and the entanglement with another soul. Love is a word that is much too soft and used far too often to ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that I have in my heart for you. You are a million dreams and a million prayers of a little girl come true. You are kind. You are silly. You are intelligent—in your own way. Your laugh is contagious and you can put away an entire ice cream cake in one sitting like nobody else can. You acknowledge my strengths and accept my faults. You make me want to be a better person every day. I take you as you are now, tomorrow and for eternity to come, to be my husband.

Even when the day comes that we're old and gray, I promise to always see you with the same eyes and the same heart that I see you with at this exact moment. So today, I vow to honor you and respect you, support you and encourage you. I promise to dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever life brings. I vow to laugh with you and comfort you during times of joy and times of sorrow. I promise to always pursue you, to fight for you, and love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. You are my best friend and I'm the luckiest person on Earth to call you mine."

As you finished your vows you couldn’t help the cracking of your voice, you felt hot tears flow from your eyes, you looked at him as he wipes all of them away.

“Shhh..don’t cry, everyone might get the wrong idea” Koutaro told you as he dabbed on your face. You only chuckled at him, he’s far too precious and you’re lucky to be able to witness it.

“You’re the one getting the wrong idea Kou, these are happy tears. Finally we’re binded forever and always.” you smiled at him as the priest continues on the ceremony

“Forever and always” he whispered back at you as the two of you we’re slipping on your wedding rings.

The priest announced “I pronounce you man and wife, may you live long and build a happy life together.”

He kissed you as the cheers filled the room.

‘The Life’

“Kou!! Go and chase Kaori!!” you instructed your husband to follow your daughter as she ran around away from you. She’s so much like her father, in personality and in looks. You had her 3years ago, and now you would’ve chased her yourself if not for your heavy bulging stomach. You were 7 months in your second pregnancy and everything was hard to do. Thank god for Koutaro, even though he was busy because of his job as a professional athlete he always make sure to make time for you, he always comes home early and makes sure throughout the day that you’re feeling fine. At times he will bring your daughter along to work to lessen the things that you have to think about for the day.

Today was special, he took a day off to take the threeof you to the park. You were tired from playing with the two of them the whole day. So you decided that the three of you should rest a bit, but your child has other plans of her own as soon as you situated yourself on a bench she hopped off and ran. That was why you asked your husband to chase her off to bring her back. The two of them was now in your line of sight, you didn’t want to scold your daughter but, she was extremely hyper and you didn’t want her to trip and fall then hurt herself.

“Bokuto Kaori, you do not just go and run away, against mom’s request, what if you hurt yourself?” you asked her as gentle as you can, even so she still whimpered at you scolding her. She looked at you with big teary eyes.

“I’m so sowwy momma, I only went to go pick these flowers for you” she answered you as she took out three wildflowers from her back, you cooed at how sweet she was. You waved at her to come close and she did, you engulfed her in a loving embrace kissing her temples lightly,

“Aww thank you baby,” you looked up to see Koutaro surprisingly quiet. He was staring at the two of you, he was filled with love and he was grateful for the family you two built together.

“Can I join that hug?” he asked, you opened your arms as he rushed into them almost crushing your daughter in between. The three of you laughed while coddled like that. You looked up at the sky, thankfully smiling.

Gen Taglist open: @kitayawa @aruhappy

[greenwaterskeeter]

College Advice

My brother was like, hey if you have any tips… So i wrote this! And then thought, there’s lots of people on tumblr just now going to college too…

Theres nothing in here about covid or making sure you have enough money– because i dont know anything about being a student during covid and i wouldnt give the same advice for getting money to everyone (and i wouldnt always know how anyway). I assume in the advice that the reader has enough money, because my brother does. That makes a big difference! Someone struggling for money wont have the bandwidth or time, probably, to do a lot of the stuff i advise. Edit: ugh i forgot, this is about US schools, specifically liberal arts US schools. Sorry about that!

Also, I didnt feel right taking the affection out of it once i decided to share it publicly. Help yourself! I may not have as direct an interest in your life, but there’s nothing in there i wouldnt wish for anyone going to college right now. (there’s also quite a bit that I think applies to anyone regardless of whether they do college or not).

Hi ******!

College Advice:

Work: No matter how important your work is or how much you have, take at least one day off a week. No schoolwork or working for money or any kind of work at all that day! (if it works better for you to take a half-day here and there instead of the whole day, that will do). More than one day is preferable, but there may come times when you have So Much To DO that sacrificing your free time doesn’t seem so bad and even one day off feels like too much.

I’m sure you’ve had plenty of this already, but people will keep telling you (by things they say and don’t say) that what you accomplish is the most important thing. It is not. What is most important is up to you– but I think it’s being your own authentic self. That’s complicated of course, but it boils down to: you already have everything you need in yourself, and keeping in touch with what you really truly want and love comes before everything. 

If you flunk out of school and all your nightmares come true and you still remember who you are, I will consider you to have succeeded. (but if you do forget– and so many things conspire to make you forget!– I will still be proud of you). 

GPA: It’s not the same as it was in high school! I won’t get into specific numbers because different schools have different ways of calculating it, and different rates of gpa inflation etc. It’s mostly bullshit. Unfortunately, if you want to go to graduate school, it is bullshit you have to pay attention to, but even then it’s not as all-important as it was in high school. You don’t need a 4.0, not even to become a doctor or a lawyer. A 3.5 or 3.6 is plenty for the highest ambitions, especially given that you’ll be doing extracurriculars. 

I would advise keeping half an eye on the numbers, and not straining yourself for even one additional 0.1 above your target, whatever you decide that is. If you decide not to do graduate school, you honestly could get any GPA as long as you don’t end up on academic probation (which i think goes on your permanent record? Or maybe not. I was on academic probation my last semester of senior year and i’m still not clear on whether it’s on the transcript somehow). After college, people only care that you have your bachelor’s, not what your grades were while you got it. They mostly won’t even care what the bachelor’s is in! It’s very strange, after all the work you’ve put in! (many of them only care that you had the money to go to school, very disappointing)

Extracurriculars: I did a lot of different ones, and still don’t feel entirely qualified to advise about them, because I hated most of them. My mistake was doing things I thought I should do instead of what I wanted to do. I think you should do what you want, even if there’s no existing group for the thing you want to do, for a few reasons. 1. You should enjoy yourself! Having fun is a very serious matter! Keeping the joy of living alive in your heart will make living feel worthwhile, of course, but it will also give you courage and the power to stick by your principles and keep pursuing your goals. 2. It doesn’t actually matter to graduate schools WHAT you did for extracurriculars; what they’re looking for is evidence for what kind of person you are, and they judge that that’s shown through HOW you do your extracurriculars (with commitment and integrity etc) rather than which ones you do. (even so, don’t let the “commitment” part keep you stuck in a soul-sucking activity!)

Choices: You’ll be told you’re supposed to choose your major on a certain timeline, do this and that and everything to very specific deadlines, all very proper. Of course, the more deadlines you meet, the easier things are. But on the other hand– human beings are not machines. You’re allowed to change your mind! Even after you were supposed to be sure! It’s much better to listen to your own misgivings and really look at them to figure out what you want as soon as you know they’re there rather than pushing them down in a panic because you’re not supposed to have them. If they’re ignored, they won’t go away, and they’ll eat at you, and one day they’ll ruin things. (this may be what midlife crises are made of). 

Friends: I know you have an established way of having friends, very different from mine, and that’s a good thing! I also know a lot of people take going to college as an opportunity to finally allow themselves certain things. There’s all kinds of takes on this, from putting on a poorly-done accent to binge drinking to coming out. It’s much better to stretch your legs this way than otherwise, I think. We need all the autonomy we can get! 

My advice here is: trust yourself. Listen to even your very quiet instincts. They’re there for a reason. You may elect to ignore them, but consider them first, and reject them afterwards if you must. The extreme end of this is Having A Bad Feeling. Listening to that has saved me from some sticky situations! A more mild form is the weird feeling of dissonance between you and an old friend. There are many reasons you may feel that, but unfortunately, in college, one of the most common reasons is that you’re becoming different people who aren’t so suited to being friends as your high school selves were. It’s painful! At the same time, it’s okay to love someone and not be together forever– but I suspect you already know that!

The one thing I would absolutely forbid is isolating yourself. It may seem impossible from where you are now, but that’s what I thought at the beginning too. College is a weird place, not exactly school and not exactly work and not exactly home, and it’s too easy to slip into anonymity. Tell your friends how you feel, good or bad! If you feel like you’re imposing on them, impose!! If they love you, they will prefer inconvenience over learning later that you were in pain and said nothing.

How to Learn: It’s true what they say, that teaching is the best way to learn. Your peers may not always welcome this– I was rather disliked in study groups for always explaining the answer, before I reined it in a bit (things were still awkward unfortunately! possibly for other reasons lol). Of course, other people’s jealousy isn’t your responsibility, and you may sow discord with your brilliance with my full blessing. If you’d rather not do that, my advice would be to become a tutor and/or TA in the subject(s) most important to you at your earliest convenience/whenever they allow you to. It really does make you an expert!

Humanities: They’re going to make you read a lot. Excessively, some might say! You’ll learn which readings are actually necessary to pore over, which ones you may skim, and which ones you may skip altogether. Please don’t feel guilty for not always doing all the reading! Almost no one does all of them. I didn’t even do all of them, and I was a stickler for Doing It Right.

Papers: my tricks are the Purdue OWL website (for brushing up on grammar, looking up how to do those goddamn finicky citation styles, seeing examples of finished papers in those styles), outlining, and rest time. Leaving time between drafts of a paper helps a lot! (that being said, I will be very surprised if you make it all the way through college without turning in at least a few first drafts. It’s not the end of the world, and if you’ve got a knack for it, the professors may not even know the difference! Very amusing). Reading through what you’ve written out loud also helps, however silly it may feel. It has to do with how your brain processes information, and hearing what you’ve written is different enough from seeing it that you’ll be more sensitive to errors and weirdnesses. 

STEM subjects: For these ones, it’s more important to do all the homework, because they may only give you one problem per concept. Be very literal about how you interpret things, that’s how folks in STEM usually expect you to think. Office hours are gold, if you can get them (and if the professor isn’t an ass). TAs are hit or miss. Readings are usually super important, relatively short, and can be read multiple times for more benefit.

General knowledge: Don’t forget to think critically! You’d think that’s all you’ll be doing, but in fact most professors only want you to regurgitate their own thoughts back to them. Very disappointing. However, that doesn’t have to stop you! You can always think: “Who benefits from this? What voices aren’t I hearing from in this story?” (even in STEM there are stories). “Why is this important?” In general, don’t stop asking questions! This is where I think true intelligence lies.

I’m sure you don’t need ALL of this advice– please don’t think I don’t think you know what you’re doing! I’m being a little over-cautious not because I don’t trust you but because if there’s any chance of my mistakes and accidental successes helping you do better than otherwise, I want to give all of them that opportunity. Kind of a shotgun approach!

All my love,

Autumn!

[rwbyconversations]

Why Cinder’s plan is brilliant

I’ll freely admit that I can be a bit of a negative nancy about RWBY. In fact I’ve partly made my blog off of it, alongside sharing other people’s content. But I like to think that, going off the responses I get to my analysis posts, that they get a good reception. So today, I’d like to try something different and do some positive analysis of RWBY.

Volume 3 has become known as the highlight of the show for good reason. It’s the volume that brings together the past two years and concludes the first act of RWBY’s story on a truly desolate note- the heroes have failed and only narrowly pulled victory from the jaws of defeat, while the villains nearly got away without a single notable casualty, their plan having successfully gone off without a solitary hitch.

And what a plan. Cinder Fall’s nefarious schemes across the prior two volumes come into the forefront and utterly cripple Beacon. In one semester, she plants the seeds of a multinational world war, cripples the world’s communication network, kills countless citizens and Huntsmen, secures the powers of a demigod and gets away with killing one of the most powerful men alive. Not bad at all Cinder.

So that’s the purpose of today’s post. I’m going to break down, in my opinion, why I think Cinder’s plan to destroy Beacon was nearly full-proof and why it’s a genius scheme. Buckle up, I get wordy. 

Cinder’s plan has the least presence in Volume 1, though that’s more due to Volume 1 thinking it was too cool for things like plots and overarching narratives. But more seriously, the Volume 1 part of the plan needed some quiet reworking after Cinder’s power source was changed.

See, Cinder wasn’t originally a Maiden. In fact, the Maidens only existed after Volume 2 had wrapped. CRWBY have been quite open about this plot change, as it was one Monty came up with prior to his untimely death. Cinder instead would have simply been a powerful Dust Mage who was using the Dust Roman stole to gain power for herself and the White Fang. In all honesty going from using Dust-infused clothing to the Maiden powers was one of the smoother retcons in RWBY’s history, especially compared to some of the more egregious incidents like the handling of Aura. So Cinder quietly went from a Dust user to someone with half the powers of a Maiden Ultimately since most of the major elements in Cinder’s scheme such as Ironwood, the transfer students or the mech army are present, Cinder herself has little to do in Volume 1 after saving Roman and looking Mysterious.

And that’s the point. Roman’s part of the plan is to be as attention-seeking as possible, Cinder’s plan relies on Roman getting all eyes on him as he steals as much Dust as he can carry. Not only does he deplete reserves that go into the White Fang and her own pockets, but it also creates distrust in Vale, brewing up tensions that the White Fang use to radicalize more people and bolster their numbers.

Volume 2 marks the point where Cinder begins making deliberate steps on her plan. Now that Ironwood (and his ships with all their robots and big guns) have arrived along with the transfer students now entering Beacon, Cinder has the perfect cover to slip into Beacon undetected thanks to the security nightmare that is the Vytal Festival alongside Mercury and Emerald (and Neo I suppose), and she wastes no time with setting the stage. Mercury is immediately set out to analyse the most powerful fighters at Beacon and figure out their Semblances ahead of time. Emerald meanwhile played social butterfly, getting in good with some of the teams and sneakily learning who they were sending forward ahead of the matches. And Neo... was busy helping Roman and likely only appeared in the first episode of Volume 3 so people wouldn’t ask who the fourth person on Cinder’s team was. This was mostly a three-man mission after Cinder got to Beacon while Roman and Adam prepped for the bigger events. 

Even here, Cinder was already setting up three chess pieces of her own in her master-stroke to take down Ozpin: The assaulter, the murderer and the patsy. Barring the murderer (who was almost always going to be Pyrrha because Cinder loves dramatic irony and nothing’s better than a champion helping cause the apocalypse), these roles could have been taken by nearly anyone. Once Cinder knew which team members would advance, she could play around them. Hell, if Cinder hadn’t learned about Penny’s robotic nature, things could have easily been set up for Pyrrha to kill someone else instead- 

Cinder even manages to spin a school dance in her favor. It may seem on the service like some harmless fluff between the big battle episodes, but the dance arc episodes are made critically important through Cinder’s infiltration of the CCT and planting of Watts’ Queen Virus, alongside the episodes themselves letting us see Mercury and Emerald’s parts of the plan. With this in play along with the White Fang, Cinder had half the work done for the Fall of Beacon before RWBY even had a clue she existed. 

When you’re this confident in your plan (and when you don’t ever skip leg day) you earn the right to make some sick flips

Talking of RWBY, it’s interesting how they never really had a chance at stopping Cinder. Thanks to Roman hogging the spotlight, RWBY genuinely think they’ve stopped his plans entirely after the Breach. Qrow has to tell Yang and Ruby that yes, crime’s down, but every hydra’s got another head. Cinder basically sets Roman up as a patsy, and I think it’s safe to say she didn’t really care if Roman lived or died after the Breach. If he happened to live, then she could use that and send Neo to break him out before they caused more damage during the Fall, but it wasn’t a be-all-or-end-all if Roman died early. Regardless, the Breach was a giant distraction, a gambit that Cinder intended to lose. It was one that RWBY jump-started early, but the results were ultimately the exact same. 

There was no hopes of the Breach being enough to take out Beacon, even if Cinder, Emerald and Mercury had personally joined the fight. Its goal was always to make Ozpin’s leadership look incompetent. Under his watch, with the Vytal Festival looming on the horizon, a massive terror attack occurs and Ozpin is left looking like a headless chicken. People being to distrust Ozpin, the council gives James new privileges and more emphasis is placed on the Atlas military for security reasons. Which, with the Queen virus in place, is exactly what Cinder wants. The more androids on the night of the Fall, the more images of Atlas mechs firing on civilians to fill the nightly news. The Breach was never Cinder’s endgame- to quote @alexkablob, it was just Act 2. 

With Volume 3, the stage is set. Once Ironwood connects his scroll to the CCT, Cinder has access to all of his personal files, and that gives her the cherry on top for her Murder Souffle. With Penny, Cinder has just been given the prime target to set up as the fall guy for the Fall of Beacon.  

Also on the subject of the Vytal Festival, can you imagine what it must have been like to be the first year team that had to fight Team CMSN? Two trained assassins, a master illusionist whose stealth skills make her just as lethal as the assassins, and a 23-year-old posing as a teenager in leather pants who didn’t even use a weapon to kick your ass. The whole “How’d your team do?” Emerald flashes back to her team ripping some first years a new asshole “... Really well.” joke is one of the best gags in all of RWBY BTW.

Lady can you CHILL

With her hacking of the CCT, Cinder basically just needed to do one fight and then she could sit back and enjoy the fireworks. She had her Actor in Mercury, and after watching the Vytal matches, it was easy to find someone with a short temper who the crowd could believe was willing to shoot an injured man after he’d already lost, breaking his leg. Penny was the perfect target to die, but make no mistake, Cinder would have used anyone else as the victim. Heck, in an alternate timeline, whose to say someone like Ruby wasn’t the one gutted on Pyrrha’s spear in the Vytal finals?

Pyrrha, however, was always going to be the Murderer in this little stage play of Cinder’s. Cinder likely pegged Pyrrha as one of the candidates to become the new Fall Maiden early on, and if she hadn’t before the finals, seeing Pyrrha and Ozpin enter the CCT was the red flag she needed. Pyrrha was the Invincible Girl, the one everyone knew as a hero, greatest Huntress of her generation, and she was someone who it wouldn’t look suspicious if she curbstomped all of her enemies. Why else does JNPR fight BRNZ, a team with at least one electrical weapon, in an environment that spawns thunder? Neptune’s weapon also would have likely supercharged Nora, so the SN vs NP match that was cut for time would have had a similar outcome (including another water biome). Pyrrha was really the perfect person to take to the finals, and her polarity Semblance just made Penny that much better a target. 

To further my point, here’s a stellar post made by @alexkablob, with the relevant part quoted:

But she (Cinder) 100% wanted Pyrrha, specifically, to be the one who killed her opponent in the finals, and she wanted that as early as volume 2. Because Pyrrha is the Invincible Girl, she’s the greatest huntress of her generation, she’s the world’s icon, she’s a hero in the making, she’s on the cover of every Pumpkin Pete’s Marshmallow Flakes box. And Cinder wanted to take that image and tear it down for the entire world to see.

So when the finals came around, after the crowd had already seen barbarism from Yang, Pyrrha’s shoddy mental state after the last few days combined with Emerald’s Semblance to make a show no one ever forgot. 

Once the Fall kicked off, everything went straight to hell in a handbasket. The mechs went rogue, Adam’s White Fang brought Grimm in and caused chaos while an army of Grimm charged Vale. Cinder cut the broadcast on Atlesian mechs firing on civilians, all while delivering a monologue that nailed home just how utterly screwed everyone was. The Huntsmen were scattered, and the fleet was firing on itself thanks to Roman. 

Which let Cinder lead Ozpin into the final stage of her plan. 

Cinder needed Ozpin to come out onto the battlefield, so that the CCT would be unguarded. Ozpin would be forced to choose between the people he swore to protect, the citizens and Huntsmen who he tries to care for as people and as children, and a sickly, dying woman. If he wasn’t there, her chances of finding Amber and killing her skyrocketed. The only way it could be better was if Ozpin basically led her right to the Maiden-

Well, well, well. YOU HAD ONE JOB, JAUNE.

And with that arrow, Cinder wins. She’s got this in the bag, she just got the full Maiden powerset, Ozpin is alone because his need to put The Men First meant that he sent Qrow and Glynda into the city instead of staying with him to protect Amber and the Vale Relic. As an aside, look at their faces.

As @ozcarpin pointed out in this post that I took some notes from:

The logical option here is to double down on protection of the Relic and Amber, a few more casualties cannot hope to compare to the destruction that Salem can wreak with a maiden on her side. But Salem knows what option Ozpin will pick, what he can’t help but choose again and again no matter how many times it does him over.

Glynda and Qrow come to him, looking for direction amid the panic, torn between what they know are their duties, and he tells them to leave, to go to the city. Their enemies are coming for the vault, and they don’t know how many of them there are, how powerful the opposition might be, but Ozpin chooses to go alone. Cinder later calls it arrogance but Salem knows better.

Even knowing that he’s dooming them all, even knowing that he’s likely marching to his own death, Ozpin will always pick the safety of his people above all else.

And in that moment, all three of them knew it.

Cinder makes short work of Ozpin after this, even with all of his experience she immolates him. After that, before going to secure the Relic, she returns to Ozpin’s office to lord over her victory. And gee, it’s almost like Cinder’s big weakness is that she’s prideful and will always take time to gloat before confirming the mission’s complete! Like, seriously, if Cinder just grabbed the Relic and snuck out of Vale with Em and Merc, she’d have been clear. Roman and Neo would have likely died and taken a lot of the heat posthumously and Cinder would have had perfect checkmate.

But she had to go to his office, and she had to gloat. Meaning she had to fight Pyrrha and had to kill her, meaning she had to take Ruby’s Silver Eyes right to the face. Because you can have the best damn plan, but if you let your ego control you, the best laid plans often go awry. 

In conclusion, Cinder’s plan throughout Volumes 1-3 is perfectly laid out and designed in such a way that Cinder was able to make rapid adjustments on the fly. Thanks to using Roman and the Breach as scapegoats, she diverted attention away from her (in spite of Qrow nearly seeing her face when she went for Amber), her underlings were able to assist in pinpointing who would be fighting and when, and Watts’ Queen Virus let her wreak havoc on Beacon when the time came. Cinder’s plan is genuinely a well-written masterplan; the pieces were on the board right from the start, but only in hindsight did we see everything after all we knew and loved had come crumbling down around us. Or to put it another way:

The shining light will sink in darkness

Victory for hate incarnate

Misery and pain for all

When it falls...

Thank you for reading.

[thathopelessromantic]

The Things We Don’t Understand

Fandom: Homestuck Pairing: John Egbert x Dave Strider  Raiting: T+ Note: AU,  In honor of 4/13, I don’t have time to write anything new until the end of the semester but I haven’t posted all of my hs on my tumblr yet so here you go

Your name is Dave Strider and there are very few things in this world that you don’t understand. Unfortunately for you, one of those things happens to be your very best friend-John Egbert. Like you, John is an enigma. Unlike you, who seems to baffle everyone you interact with save for John and your siblings, the only person who seems baffled by John is well…you.

Otherwise known as, in which the title and summary both make this story sound way more serious that it actually is or ever was supposed to be.

AO3: (x)

--> Your name is Dave Strider and there are very few things in this world that you don’t understand. Unfortunately for you, one of those things happens to be your very best friend-John Egbert. Like you, John is an enigma. Unlike you, who seems to baffle everyone you interact with save for John and your siblings, the only person who seems baffled by John is well…you.

It wasn’t as if you completely lacked any type of understanding of your best bro. It’s just that after all these years of friendship there were some aspects of John Egdork that you still could not fully comprehend.

You understand John’s likes and interests. You don’t quite know why they’re John’s interests but you know them and have come to appreciate the part of John they represent. You know that at least 70% of the time, John has poor character judgement and tries to befriend all sorts of whack-jobs. You know what John likes about and values of himself and even more what he doesn’t-though some of his insecurities still seem absolutely nuts to you.

But you can’t seem to understand the boundless amounts of energy the kid seems to have. Or how he almost never allows the smile to falter from his lips. It is frustratingly bizarre how blue his eyes are when you literally wear shades 98% of the time you are with him regardless of conditions or locations and all colors should have been muted by your tinted glasses.

And for the love of God, you could not figure out how someone whose entire life consisted of sitting in front of a gaming system, pranking people, and playing the piano could possess the choicest ass you had ever seen either side of Mississippi but he did. You had a pretty slammin’ hot bod yourself, not to be too vain, but you worked for yours dammit. Strifing took a lot of effort. John though-it was like the fucking Puberty Fairy came and gifted him with perfect…everything and then just got the hell out of dodge.

--> Your name is John Egbert and by this point it is no secret that your best bro has been “subtly” checking you out for the past few weeks. The only question was why. You tried bringing it up with Dave himself but he quickly dismissed it as your imagination and changed the subject.

Part of you was frustrated (sexually mostly) by Dave’s weird actions. Another part was a tiny bit thrilled. Most of your friends and schoolmates were familiar with your constant mantra of “not a homosexual” when you were thirteen. Then the past summer you had to go with some estranged great-uncle you had never heard of before, per your dad’s insistence, to help him out around his place. When you came back for the start of the new school year you were surprised to find Dave in the beginnings of something with a mutual friend you could have sworn was interested in someone else when you left. Strangely you found yourself deeply irritated by their new closeness and after many late-night, long-lasting “feeling jams” (as Dave called them) with one of your good friends Rose, the two of you came to one simple conclusion. You had some very deep homosexual-or at the very least bisexual-feelings towards your best bro and you had been jealous as hell.

You were less jealous now as you and Dave slowly fell back into your old routine and Karkat seemed less and less actually romantically interested in Dave. But recently Dave’s been acting really weird and though you usually can’t see his eyes behind his shades you can feel them on you a lot more than they ever were before.

You’re determined to figure out what’s going on but it’s become pretty obvious you’re going to have to do it all on your own. Dave of course acts like there is nothing going on and the only other one who might have any idea what’s going on is Rose. And you know better than to ask her for help with this kind of stuff.

--> Your name is Dave Strider and unfortunately, you’re at school. It’s your lunch hour which is slightly less painful that the rest of the school day but you still don’t want to be here. When you enter the lunch room you’re not surprised to see John already at the usual table alone. Though his back is to you and you tend to walk rather quietly, it’s like he has a sensor or something and can feel your presence. When you’re about half-way to the table John turns around and meets your eye. His eyes are still an unsettling bright shade of blue and when he sees that it’s you he smiles like you just made his day. You’re a Strider and Strider hearts don’t flutter especially at dorky buck-toothed smiles, but they just might skip a beat or two when caught off guard.

“Hey Dave!” John greets you like you hadn’t just seen each other two class periods ago but you can’t ever seem to be even a little bothered by his unbridled enthusiasm.

“Sup?” You give your usual greeting and slide onto the seat next to him.

“How was history?” John asks. It’s one of the few classes the two of you don’t share. You give a noncommittal shrug. You slept through most of it and John knows that but he always asks anyways. Before John can ask you anything else the table starts to fill with your other friends and John turns to greet them. Part of you wants to grab John and make him turn his attention back to you but you resign from doing something quite so embarrassing and sit there in silence, nodding hello to those who greet you as they sit down. John scoots his chair closer to you to make more room for whoever is sitting on the other side of him and you tense. The two of you are in completely different chairs but you can feel John’s entire thigh flush against your own and before you can even think about moving away from him before you do something stupid Terezi shoves a chair between you and Karkat, who’s arrival you’re not sure how you missed, leaving you absolutely nowhere to go. When you look up Rose is watching you and smiling like this was all part of her evil plan and everything is going just swimmingly. Sometimes you really hate your twin. When John finishes his greetings and whatever brief conversation he was having with Jade, he turns back around to look at you.

“Dave, are you cold?” John asks like he cannot believe how someone could be cold in the middle of April. Well it’s not your fault you’re originally from Texas and this damn school thinks it’s a good idea to blast the AC from the beginning of March to the end of the school year regardless of the temperature outside. Honestly you can feel your body heating up under John’s scrutiny and from how close he is to you but you’re not surprised that he’s asking with his leg pressed against yours. That boy is like a goddamn space heater.

“It’s fucking freezing in here, Egbert, of course I’m cold.” You complain, shifting in your seat. Somehow you manage to press your leg even closer to his and you try not to let your surprise show through on your face. John gives you a once over, taking in your skinny jeans and sweat shirt. He’s already changed out his jeans and sweaters for shorts and t-shirts and it’s not even to the sixties yet. You so don’t get this kid.

--> Your name is John Egbert and you might just be being a little bit mean now.

You hadn’t intended to spend your last three classes of the day purposely trying to get a rise out of Dave but that’s how it was turning out. You were blaming the behavior on what happened at lunch. You and Dave were best bros, there were lots of times when there was some totally platonic, full-on physical contact and yet you had never noticed him tense up like he did today at lunch. Normally Dave was totally cool and collected but for some reason today he got very easily flustered. He even stuttered a few times which he only ever did when he was super embarrassed or nervous. Honestly you found it kind of adorable but considering Dave would probably want to kick your ass if he heard that you never said anything about it.

But now it’s last hour, math class, and though Dave is in the seat in front of you, you can tell he’s embarrassed. First of all he’s blushing. All the way to the tips of his ears, which really is the only reason you can tell. He’s also tense, sitting a little more forward in his seat than he normally would. And lastly he still hasn’t responded to your note.  The two of you had been passing notes for the better half of the class you last passed one to him nearly ten minutes ago and still haven’t received a response.

You were a little worried you had taken it too far. You knew Dave wasn’t entirely heterosexual, though he had never claimed a specific sexuality, but he didn’t know you were anything but just that. You didn’t want him to think you were just making fun of him. Good-natured teasing was one thing but it was just wrong if you actually hurt or bothered Dave. You also thought that maybe you were reading things wrong. Just because you wanted Dave to be interested in you didn’t mean he actually was and you’d rather pine from afar than screw up your friendship with your best bro.

The little paper square you and Dave had been passing notes on hits you square on the nose. Dave must have thrown in back while you were lost in thought. Trying not to be too obvious about it you unfold the paper a little too eagerly. The two of you had been discussing you hanging out at Dave’s over the weekend. It wasn’t an odd conversation; most weekends were spent together at your place or his. Discussing it seemed more like a formality than anything. You quickly scanned over the page, filled with sloppy blue and red chicken scratch to make sure Dave hadn’t gone back to an earlier point in the conversation and made a new comment. He did that sometimes. He also sometimes started drawing right over his words so that you had to convince him to rewrite whatever he was trying to say somewhere else so you could actually read it. And started random raps along the margins of the page. Everything seemed to be as it was when you sent the note so you finally look down to the bottom of the page where you really want to read. Your last message sticks out in oddly dark letters.

awesome! it’s a date! :)

Dave’s bright red, slightly-neater response is under it. You almost don’t want to look but your desire to read it is stronger.

you bet your ass it is gonna be the best damn date ever ill rock your fucking socks off egbert

You smiled, folding the paper back up and sliding it into your pocket. What were you thinking? This was Dave you were talking about. How could you be worried?

-->Your name is Dave Strider and you’re fairly certain strifing with your brother while avoiding his fucking puppets, Rose’s way too personal questions, and Roxy’s overly-affectionate behavior when she’s intoxicated all together is less taxing than having an extremely attractive, bizarrely happy, painfully straight best friend.

The school bell rang ten minutes ago. It’s Friday. You’re done with school for the week. Your best friend is coming over to spend the weekend with you. You should be excited. Instead you’re…nervous? You try to tell yourself Striders don’t get nervous but you’re really starting to think you are.

John’s walking a few feet ahead of you, chatting with Jade and Rose. He’s not concerned. He’s used to you dragging behind. You kind of think you should pick up the pace and walk with them so that you’re not in the prime position to be starting at his ass but you can’t bring yourself to move any faster. It’s John’s idea of warm outside so he’s in baggy khaki shorts instead of the tight jeans he wore all winter so there shouldn’t even be something remotely interesting about his backside but it’s like the image of John’s toned derriere in that dark denim is seared into your brain and you just can’t help but stare at it now. You consider the fact that you may need psychological help if your obsession with your best bro’s rear-end continues much longer. But you dismiss the thought a moment later. You know what your problem is and going to a professional-or Rose-would just be a waste of everyone’s time because you would all come to the same conclusion you had reached months ago when he came back from his great-uncle’s place tanned and toned and tall and gorgeous.

You have it bad for your best bro and it’s just getting worse as time passes. It doesn’t help that John hasn’t dated anyone, or even really shown interest in anyone, since he broke up with his freaky girlfriend Vriska in sophomore year and he recently has been way more…physical with you. But you have a bad feeling that even if neither of those things were true, you would still be just as far gone.

The three of them reach your beat-up pick-up truck and stop to wait for you. John digs out his car keys from his pocket and turns them over to Jade who would drive his car home. They were next door neighbors and John always gave her rides to school. She always drove his car home when John stays at your place unless it’s a big shindig with the whole group. Rose usually drove your truck home when you went to John’s. You finally catch up with them and all say your goodbyes. Your truck only has a single bench seat in the cab so you, John, and Rose all throw your bags in the bed of the truck and squeeze yourselves into the cab, Rose in the middle of you and John because she’s the smallest. Part of you almost wishes Rose wasn’t with you. The other part of you is glad Rose is there to keep you from doing something stupid before the weekend even starts.

The drive from the school to the house where you and your three siblings live isn’t too long. Upon arrival Rose immediately retreats into her bedroom, requesting not to be disturbed, and you and John claim the couch. If Roxy and Dirk are home, there isn’t a sign of them.

You and John waste no time starting what will most likely be a weekend-long “gaming extravaganza” (John’s dad coined the term back when the two of you were freshman and for some unexplainable reason it stuck) and for the most part you could ignore your usually painfully obvious crush on your best friend. Even with John’s entire side pressing intimately against your own so that you’re not only stealing some of his over abundant body heat but you can also feel every little vibration when he speaks or laughs you can pretend for a while you’re not seriously lusting over the big dweeb.

It has to be close to seven o’clock when Dirk appears, seemingly out of nowhere, to stand in front of the television, blocking specifically your view, and asks if the two of you want pizza for dinner. Normally you’re suspicious of Dirk offering up food like that without any prompting but since he tends to be slightly more behaved whenever guests are over (though with how often John is over you sometimes wonder if he really counts as a guest anymore) you both give him an affirmative and he sticks around just long enough for you to lose the current round and call in the order.

Grumbling about the loss, you pause the game as John gets up to go to the bathroom. As soon as you hear the bathroom door shut Dirk reappears in the living room.

“How’s it goin’, little bro?” He asks casually, leaning against the door frame. Immediately your eyes fly to him. You know that voice. It’s his I-know-something-you-don’t-want-me-to voice.

“Whatever Rose told you is probably bullshit.” You both know your lie is about as lame as they come but for some reason that doesn’t stop you from saying it.

“He is pretty cute.” Dirk continues, as if you had just gushed to him all the details of your sorry little crush. “Shame he isn’t wearing those nice jeans anymore. Those dark wash ones with the ripped knee, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a pair of pants cup an ass quite as nicely as those ones did save for those shorts his cousin wears.” Jake English, the only “cousin” Dirk could be talking about wasn’t really John’s cousin. He was Jade’s. But considering John and Jade were practically raised like siblings it made sense that John counted him as family. You hoped Dirk was planning to stop there but of course, probably just to torment you some more, he keeps talking. You look around the room, trying to ignore your brother. For once one of his damn creepy plush dolls isn’t hanging around. Unfortunately for you since if there had been one you would have promptly used it to smother yourself so that you no longer had to listen to your brother compliment your crush’s finer assets.

Suddenly you notice water running and realize John is almost done in the bathroom. Dirk is still rambling about his something-or-another. Your reaction? Throw the nearest thing at Dirk. It’s an empty cup and even if he hadn’t moved when you threw it, it wouldn’t have reached him but it got you the desired effect of him leaving so that didn’t matter at the moment.

John returns a moment later and smiles at you, reclaiming his seat at your side. Wordless the two of you start up the game once again. You only get through one round when the doorbell rings. You pause the game. From your position on the couch, or more accurately on the floor in front of the couch, you can only see half of your brother’s back and a small portion of the front door.

“Pizza delivery to the Strider-Lalonde Residence.” You and John can’t see the speaker but there’s no mistaking the accented voice hidden from view. The pizza delivery guy is Jake English. No wonder your brother was so willing to order you pizza. It isn’t really a secret to anyone that Dirk has a thing for Jake. Well you weren’t so sure if Jake had caught on quite yet but you at least knew your brother was as hopeless crushing on Jake as you were on John.

You and John exchange looks. One way or another, you were most definitely going to use this against Dirk.

Once Dirk keeps Jake way over the normal amount of time it would take for a simple pizza delivery, he drops off the larger of the two pizza boxes to you and John and stalks out of the room. Not wasting time with formalities or other needless things like plates the two of you dig in. You both get through about two and half pieces before disaster strikes.

You’re absorbed in the act of devouring your third slice of pizza when John swears next to you. You turn your head to see what happened. Somehow he had managed to drop his pizza into his lap, smearing sauce and grease all across the front of his shorts.

Your first reaction is to think nothing of it. Then John stands up, dropping the half-eaten slice onto the box and you can feel yourself stop breathing. You’re not quite sure if John realizes what he’s doing but there’s a hunk of half chewed dough and cheese stuck in your throat, effectively stopping any type of noise or warning from escaping as John unbuttons his shorts and wiggles out of them. In the middle of the living room. Right in front of you.

You are currently eye level with bright blue boxer-brief covered junk of your best friend and you honestly think your brain is starting to shut down.

“I’m going to go put some soap on this before it stains.” John announces like this is the most normal thing in the world and walks out of the room.

-->Your name is John Egbert and OOPS.

You are currently in the Strider-Lalonde residence laundry room trying not to panic. You don’t know what you were thinking, just stripping in the middle of the living room like that other than that you weren’t thinking. There was most definitely such a thing as “too comfortable” with someone or somewhere. Sure this wasn’t the first time Dave had seen you in your underwear but who just strips in the middle of their best friend’s living room? And you hadn’t even thought about your positions. Maybe if you hadn’t glanced down at Dave while you were in the living room it wouldn’t have occurred to you but you did and now you can’t seem to get the image of your best bro’s flushed face level with your crotch out of your mind.

You want to crawl in a hole and hide until, hopefully, Dave forgets the entire incident. Or drown yourself in the rinse cycle of the washing machine. Both sound like entirely reasonable options.

The door to the basement opens and you turn, horrified, to find Dirk climbing up the stairs. The older Strider takes one look at you, puts the pizza box he was carrying on the edge of the trash can, and promptly turns around and walks back downstairs. You feel your cheeks grow even hotter. Wonderful. Now exactly half of the household has seen you without pants on.

Grumbling and cursing to yourself for your own stupidity you start searching for stain remover.

Not a full minute passes before you hear a surprised, distinctly feminine “Oh.” from the doorway. You turn, but you’re pretty sure you already know who’s there.

Sure enough, Rose is standing, half in the hallway half in the laundry room, with a laundry basket cradled against her hip. Well shit. Might as well call Roxy down to the laundry room just to make sure she’s not feeling left out.

“This is an interesting new look for you John.” Rose finally breaks the silence, stepping fully into the room and giving you a small, knowing smile as if she’s already figured out exactly what happened.

Instead of acknowledging her comment you look back at the cluttered shelf above the washer and dryer with a small noise of complaint. “Do you have any stain remover?”

Taking pity on you, Rose puts down her basket and pushes around some bottles until she finds a dark blue one that proclaims ‘STAIN REMOVER’ in big white letters. You lamely offer to help but Rose brushes your offer off and very efficiently preps your shorts to be washed.

“I can put them in the next white load.” Rose says simply, laying them out over the top of the dryer and returning to her basket to bring it closer to the washer. “They’ll be clean and wearable before you leave tomorrow.”

“Thank you Rose you’re a life saver.” You sort of want to hug Rose but decide against it. It’s already a little weird hugging Rose; you don’t need to make things any more awkward trying to hug her without pants on.

You fidget around the laundry room a little longer, mostly because you’re a little scared to go back to the living room, but Rose eventually kicks you out with the threat that if you stay any longer she’s going to make you sort through the laundry to find her and Roxy’s “delicates.” Rose is great and admittedly you had a bit of a crush on Roxy when you were growing up but you really do not need to know either girl that intimately.

Before returning to the living room you stop in Dave’s room. The fourth drawer in his dresser is filled with your clothing, for impromptu sleepovers such as this one. You pull on a pair of pajama pants and go back downstairs.

Dave hasn’t touched the pizza since you left. The game the two of you had been playing before is still open to the paused menu screen. Dave doesn’t appear to have moved, even slightly, from the positon he was in when you fled the living room earlier. Nervously you run your hands through your hair a few times and adjust your glasses. When you move to return to your seat besides Dave you try to act as if everything is perfectly normal.

“Sorry about that.” You open, dropping back onto the floor and crossing your legs. “Didn’t want it to stain…new shorts and all that…”

At first it doesn’t seem like Dave even heard you then suddenly he nods, almost like snapping back to his senses and acknowledging you all at once.

“Right. Dadbert would’ve gotten mad. Wouldn’t want that.”  Dave gives you a quick, signature, Strider smirk and just like that, things are back to normal.

-->Your name is Dave Strider and you’re still not sure how you managed to act normal after John’s little strip-show in the living room. Somehow though, you did it, and the two of you returned to your gaming until around one-thirty in the morning when Dirk showed up and shooed you out of the living room, insisting he had “shit it do.”

It didn’t really occur to either of you just how tired you were until you had to trudge up a flight of stairs to your bedroom. You hardly remembered to shut your door behind you as the two of you shuffled inside the dark room and flopped onto your bed. For a while you both just laid there in the quiet darkness. You were almost starting to fall asleep when you heard John start mumbling something about brushing his teeth and trying to sit up. Turning you head to face him you throw an arm over John, effectively stopping him in his tracks and he lies against the bed beside you once again.

“Break the rules once in a while, Egbert.” You mutter, your words partially muffled by the blankets beneath you. “Be all gross and stinky with me for a night and just forget about that.”

Its dark in your room without any lights and your shades still on but you can still see John’s nose wrinkle at the suggestion. But you don’t move your arm from around his waist and John never makes a move to try and leave after that.

You’re starting to fall asleep again when John reaches over and plucks your glasses from your face. Your eyes blink open in surprise, forced to adjust to the change in light all over again. John’s own glasses are still on his face, crooked from being pressed against your mattress and he looks ridiculous with his crooked glasses and messy hair and dreamy smile but he also looks unbelievably adorable in your bed and you kind of really want to kiss him.

“What are you doing Egbert?” You croak instead, reaching up one hand to rub sleepily at your eye. John keeps watching you with his dorky smile and bright eyes.

“Your eyes are pretty Dave. It’s nice to be able to see them once in a while.”

You freeze because on one hand you think you must be imagining things but on the other you are really certain you heard those words come from John. Then suddenly lips are pressed against your own and your eyes are fluttering closed and you’re thinking, oh great you’ve really gone off the deep end now actually acting on your desire to kiss John but it’s not you who started the kiss. At least you’re pretty sure you’re not the one who started it. Even if it was you, the one in charge now seemed to be John. He was the one who was shifting your positions so that your back was pressed against the mattress while you were chest to chest with your best friend, kissing like a couple of teenagers who mostly had no idea what you were doing.

When John breaks the kiss for air he’s all but straddling you in this position. His glasses are even more skewed than they were before. You can tell he’s scared, not sure what your reaction to the kiss is going to be, but he’s trying to smile at you like this is all perfectly normal.

You want to say something to him, anything really, but you can’t seem to find your voice. Instead you pluck his glasses off his nose as well. John squints at you in the dark, not quite sure what to make of that reaction and also because your image is now blurry. John’s about as blind as a bat without his glasses. You’re not sure how long you lie there under John, studying him in the pale light coming through your window. His eyes are still so damn bright they’re practically glowing. You can tell your lack of response is starting to make John nervous and he starts shifting uncomfortably over you. He opens his mouth to say something, and that’s when you strike. Burying your hand in his hair you pull him closer, pressing your lips against his own and shoving your tongue in his mouth before he can say anything. Instead he just moans into your mouth and the sound sends shivers over your entire body.

There were still a lot of things about John you didn’t understand but lying in your bed with his body flush against your own, in that moment it was perfectly okay.

[biopsychs]

physics doesn’t have to suck: how to enjoy and do well in your required physics classes

As someone who doesn’t intend to take a physics class ever again, I was relieved when I walked out of my second semester physics final. That said, physics doesn’t have to suck or drag your average down. 

(1) How to enjoy physics: Adjust your attitude. Physics is so cool if you actually think about it. Your attitude will dictate your experience. (2) But physics is so hard: Change the way you study and don’t give up. I did better in university physics than in high school. The content was way more difficult but it was my studying methods that made the difference.

This post is split into 3 parts: Introductory physics (very basic physics, that unit of physics you had to do in a lower level science class), high school physics (physics from an algebra-based perspective), and university physics (calculus-based physics and labs). (Obviously these overlap a lot but I needed to organize this somehow)

INFO IS UNDER THE CUT B/C THIS POST IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG

1. INTRODUCTORY PHYSICS

Skills you should master that will greatly help you now and in the future

Converting between units

What all those symbols actually mean

Interpreting what graphs mean

Scientific notation

Know how to do algebra fairly well (esp. rearranging equations)

Khan Academy is a great resource for introductory and high school physics.

Start every question by stating all of your known and unknown variables. Write down which variables you have and which ones you need. Then, you can easily figure out which formula you need.

Make sure you’re actually understanding the concepts behind everything; plugging numbers into equations will only get you so far.

Rearrange formulas to equal the variable you need before you substitute your known values into the equation.

Use your knowledge of physics from your own experiences. Don’t overthink. Just try to picture what would happen if, say, a ball and a feather were dropped from the same height.

2. HIGH SCHOOL PHYSICS (ALGEBRA-BASED)

(Everything from part 1 applies, esp Khan Academy)

Pay attention to in class demos.

Draw free body diagrams whenever you can -- they can be annoying but quickly being able to visualize all of the forces acting is an important skill

Ask your teacher for help or clarification if you need it! You won’t always have the opportunity for one-on-one help, plus your teacher may mark you a bit easier if they see you’re really trying.

Know trigonometry well! In fact, if any of your algebra skills are weak, be sure to review. Don’t let basic math hold you back -- you can do this!

Your first step for any problem should be to write down any known variables or numbers and then the variables you need to find.

Work with a study group (just make sure everyone else is as committed as you are, otherwise studying with others won’t help). People think in different ways and you’re bound to find a solution eventually -- and less likely to give up if you can’t do it.

Get all the part marks. Write down your variables, a formula that could be applicable -- anything that might earn even half a mark (teachers are a lot more forgiving than you think)

Double check your final answer. Ensure you have the right units and ask yourself if your final answer makes sense.

Don’t give up! A big mistake I made in high school was giving up the first time I couldn’t figure out a question because physics was hard and I would never understand it. No excuses! Ignoring a question won’t help you answer it when it comes up on a test. Figure it out on your own or get help.

3. UNIVERSITY PHYSICS (CALCULUS-BASED + LABS)

(Note: Some university physics classes are algebra-based. My university is dumb and forced me to take difficult, calculus-based classes.) 

(Again, most things from part 1 and part 2 apply here as well.)

A) Lectures, studying, finals, etc.

Pay attention in class and write good notes

My physics lectures were boring but trying to catch up by reading my textbook later was so much worse

Your lecture notes may not make much sense at first but later on you’ll be able to tell which concepts were stressed by your prof

Draw any diagrams your prof shows you (or take a picture with your phone if you’re lazy). Be sure that the diagram is complete and don’t forget about labels. Don’t worry too much about neatness as long as you know what the diagram is supposed to show you.

Keep all your notes in one notebook: Use one colour for writing regular notes, another colour for circling formulas or starring things you don’t understand,  and be sure to write the date down for each lecture and leave space if you fall behind during the lecture (you can always copy someone else’s notes later)

Get a good textbook!

Talk to older students and see if the textbook was helpful for the class. If it’s useful then actually use it! If it’s not, find a good textbook to use! 

Do lots of practice questions

My profs tended to go over more conceptual ideas in class and didn’t do many examples.

Try to do a variety of questions! This will tell you if you actually understand the content or if you’ve just memorized how to do certain questions.

Work with other people on assignments (and join/start a group chat for your class)

I had online assignments due every Friday at midnight. My friend and I would meet up on Wednesday or Thursday to work through most of the assignment together. If there was a question we didn’t get, there would always be someone in our class group chat wondering the same thing and there was always some smart physics student that would be a bro and explain how to approach the problem (on another note: don’t leave assignments till the last minute)

Group chats are also great if you miss class or can’t remember when the cutoff for the midterm is

If you don’t understand something get help before it’s too late. 

Be prepared with specific questions. It’s hard for someone to help you if all you can say is that you don’t know anything. Go to your prof, TA, tutor, etc. 

I found my profs to be super nice about everything. They just want people to be excited about the subject they teach!

If you’re just stuck on one thing there are tons of resources online! Just be specific in what you’re googling and check out resources that other profs have posted online.

Understand the math before you start doing questions

Know the basics of derivatives and integrals

It’s super important to be able to draw a rough graph of the first, second, etc. derivative when all you are given is a graph of the original function (i.e. drawing the graphs for velocity and acceleration when given a graph of displacement)

But don’t ignore the conceptual stuff

This is why a good textbook is important!

Plus you can get part marks for some questions by stating whether one value should be higher/lower than another value, even if you can’t figure out the calculations -- and you can check your answers this way.

For example, it’s pretty important to know what magnetic flux density is before you can calculate it’s value

When studying for tests, don’t just assume you know how to do a question.

Looking over the solution for a problem and actually completing the problem are two very different things. This is the biggest mistake I’ve made when studying physics.

Understanding the solution is only one step in actually being able to answer the question. Looking over solutions is lazy studying if you’re not even trying to do the work. Start the question. Glance at the first part of the solution if you’re stuck. Keep going from there.

For first year physics classes, you really shouldn’t skip over any parts of problem. Yeah, rearranging that formula might look easy but can you actually do it? Practice makes perfect.

If you have a midterm coming up that tests material from a few weeks ago, be sure to do questions from the older units. The content might look familiar but just because you could do a question 2 weeks ago doesn’t mean you can do it now.

Don’t leave your studying till the last minute.

Get a planner and carve out enough time to do practice questions every few days. Trying to catch up on four chapter’s worth of problems is not fun and won’t work very well. Plus, you don’t just have to know how to answer questions. You have to be able to answer questions efficiently.

B) Labs

My labs were very different each semester.

First semester content included kinematics, relativity, forces, momentum, work, etc. The labs were super boring but super easy. For most labs we used motion detectors and a program called logger pro to collect and graph data. Lots of carts.

Second semester content included light, energy, radiation, magnetism, circuits, etc. The labs mostly involved bread boards and wires.

Regardless of content, some general comments on labs are...

Labs won’t always follow lecture content. Apparently that’s too difficult to organize.

That said, get your prelabs done. Properly, if you can. If you don’t fully understand a prelab question, ask your TA once you’ve handed it in. This will save you so much time.

Find a good lab partner. Not sure if there’s a trick to this but just try your best. And be a good lab partner too!

Make note of how strict your TA is with sig figs and error calculations. There’s no sense in losing a few marks when you could stay an extra 15 minutes and do the work properly.

Eat some food and hydrate before your lab -- you never know when your lab will take you 3+ hours to finish.

If you’re not sure if your experiment is working ask your TA. Trying to complete the lab with incorrect data is difficult and your TA will probably make you repeat the experiment anyways.

I hope this post was helpful! I struggled with physics in high school (my worst class) but it ended up being one of my best classes in university (A’s both semesters). The content was way more difficult but my studying habits and test-taking methods were what made the difference!!

Feel free to add additional advice to this post!

My Other Posts:

AP lit tips

high school biology

organization tips

recommended reads

reminders for myself

using your time wisely on public transport

what i learned from high school

[sensiblestudy]

I finished my first year of Uni not too long ago and looking back I can safely say I made a ton of mistakes. I thought it would be nice to maybe give advice based on my experience of college, which is also hopefully some realistic advice! This post turned out to be waaaay longer than I had anticipated so everything is below the cut lol! Also!! Please bare in mind that, like I said, this is purely based off my own experiences! I go to Uni in Ireland so I’m sure things are kind of different elsewhere but hopefully some of this info will still be useful! Oh and one more thing, my college is like a 10 min drive from my house so I still live at home, which means I can’t give any tips about accommodation, sadly! Alright here we goooooo

ORIENTATION

Feeling Overwhelmed: IT’S OKAY! You’re in a new environment, filled with people you most likely don’t know, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. Do not feel pressured into speaking up and asking questions if you don’t feel comfortable to. I was lucky to have one of my best friends with me for orientation, but even at that I was still nervous and too shy to ask any questions. You’ll have plenty of time to find out the answers to your questions!

Campus Tour: I’m assuming this is something most colleges do. If you were given your timetable before the tour, make sure you have it on you, so that you can try and take mental notes of the locations of your classes. Of course, depending on the size of your campus, this may not be completely possible to do. Don’t worry if you feel lost and feel like you won’t be able to remember where everything is, you’ll surprise yourself at how quickly you’ll get the hang of the campus once you actually start.

Bring A Notebook & Bag: I was given a “fresher’s pack” before entering a hall where they were giving a talk about the college, my course and various important info. The pack was basically a drawstring bag filled with useful supplies, including a refill pad and pen! So you may receive something like that, but I would still recommend bringing a small notebook and pen, just in case you don’t! That way, you can write down any useful info you’ll need, e.g. how to access lecture notes, where you have to submit assignments, etc. If all else fails, use your phone to write these down!! Also bring some sort of a bag, because you will most likely receive sheets and booklets for various things! 

Talking With People: If you are more of a chatty person, then I definitely would recommend trying to talk to some people! Many people you’ll see will be most likely on their own, or maybe only have one friend with them. Everyone is in the same boat, and everyone wants to make new friends. I was shook at how friendly everyone was, it was obvious people just really wanted to get to know others, and orientation is a great chance to do this!! Especially if your orientation is a few days long, chatting with someone on the first day means you can try and hang with them for the rest of orientation, too! Even if you’re not the sort of person to approach others, I bet you someone will start talking to you. Get chatting!!

FIRST WEEK

Feeling Lost: Going back to what I said about knowing where your lectures are on, if you find yourself getting lost, just ask someone! It can legit be anyone. If someone walks by you, just stop and ask where X Room is or X Building. It doesn’t matter if they’re a student or a member of staff, they will be more than happy to help you out! Again, after your first week you should feel more confident in your new environment and remember where a lot of places are! So try not to stress that much at first.

Go To Your Lectures: Please attend your lectures during this week. This is honestly the most vital time!! You more than likely don’t know a huge amount about uni and how it all works, so this is such a good chance to get a feel of how things are carried out. Your lecturers should give you a course outline, and these are suuuuper helpful!! You can see what you’re going to be covering each week, what way you will be assessed, what weeks you will have tutorials and more! 

Gather Info: Another important reason to go to these lectures is to find out info such as how to register for your modules and what not. For example, some lecturers in my college use a site called Moodle as a way of uploading notes and other info, as well as having a space to upload assignments. In these first few lectures we were told how to enroll for the modules. So you know, you’ll find out things like that, which are super important!! 

DURING LECTURES & NOTE-TAKING

First Week Notes: Okay so during the first week you probably won’t be covering too much but I still recommend having a notebook to write down some notes. You can wait until the second week (or even later) to decide how you’re going to do your notes! So for the first week, just take down some notes in a random notebook, you’ll have time to re-write them if you decide to change how you take notes.

Note-Taking Method: Continuing from above, it’s good to figure out how you’re going to do your notes, but again, if it takes you a few weeks to find a method you prefer, that’s fine. I started Uni by handwriting my notes in an A4 notebook with subject dividers. I used to think “wow I’d love to type my notes but my laptop is a 15.6″ so it would be embarrassing using it because surely people only use smaller ones right??” but boy was I wrong. I started taking notice of everyone’s laptops, and while some had smaller sized ones, quite a few people had bigger ones, like mine! So I said screw it and brought it in and it was amazing. I’m waaaay faster at typing than writing, so for me it was a life-saver. Figure out what’s best for you, take a look at what other people do, you’ll eventually find a method you like!

If You Use A Laptop: Okay... so yes I found using a laptop for notes quite useful, BUT!!! whenever I got bored in a lecture I went straight to Tumblr, and scrolled and scrolled... and scrolled. I legit regret it so much. I mostly did it for history because I hated history and then when it came to my assignments I had no clue where to begin. So if you’re someone, much like me, who has very little self-control but want to use your laptop, maybe try out some of those website blockers!! I used Block Site during study week, but there are tooons of extensions to choose from! 

Taking Notes: My biggest regret, when it comes to note-taking, is taking down everything in the lecture slides, during lectures. Chances are your lecturers will put their lecture slides online for you to view. It’s even better if they put them up beforehand, which sadly most of mine didn’t. Basically, I find it’s best to take down what your lecturer says. Obviously, take down what’s on the lecture slides too, but shorter. Give yourself enough time to be able to actually listen to your lecturer so you can note what they’re saying. That way when you get the time to, you can view the lecture slides again and add in the info you missed. 

Bring Water: Or some sort of a drink. I can’t stress this enough, it’s great to have water, you never know when you’re gonna get a tickle in your throat, or how warm a lecture hall/room is going to be! Also it’s important to stay hydrated in general!!

OTHER TIPS

Going to Lectures: Look I’m going to be real here, yes of course it’s great to attend all your lectures, but come on we all get lazy. For example, last semester I had only one class on Thursdays and one class every other Monday. So of course there were times where I was too lazy to head over to college just for one class. Just try not to skip too many, it’s easy to fall behind, so you’ll end up building up more work for yourself!

GO TO TUTORIALS: Okay. Legit. Super serious here. Please please please go to your tutorials!! I haven’t a clue if they’re called tutorials everywhere?? But it’s those once-a-week classes (or sometimes every second week) that you have with a tutor and they’re in smaller groups. They’re more of a discussion-based type of class. You cover what you’ve been doing in your lectures and the tutors will basically discuss it with you and it gives you a great chance to speak out and ask questions. Most importantly, you (usually) get marks for attending. If you hate speaking up, I get it, I really do. However you really really need to for these. Some tutors only give you full marks if you give an answer, so please, try to speak at least once! For me I also usually had some work to do for tutorials e.g. for history we had documents to read and analyse and for Philosophy we had various texts to look over. I usually left them until the day before my tutorial, or sometimes even on the day. I wouldn’t recommend it, I’d advise maybe 2 or 3 days beforehand. You don’t wanna do it too early either because you might forget the stuff. Don’t spend hella long on the work for these, again, if you don’t understand something just ask a question! Also pro tip: your tutors will most likely ask questions to the group first, and then later ask those who haven’t spoke out questions. So, when they ask a question to the group, if you know the answer or just have any sort of response to it, speak up!!! That way they won’t (well, hopefully) address you with a specific question that you might not know the answer to! The main reason I recommend going, which is for if you get marks for attending, is that you then have a % from them before heading into your exam. For me, tutorials are usually worth 10% or 15%, even 20%. Your marks from tutorials could be the difference between and A and B, or even a pass and fail!

Having Multiple Lectures in a Row: Make sure you have some sort of snack in your bag that you can eat in between lectures. You might think you’ll be okay, but I bet after a few classes you’ll start feeling a bit light-headed or tired. I had like 4 in a row this semester and when I didn’t have food I legit felt like death. Also don’t forget to pee. Obvs.

Assignments: Can I be a hypocrite and tell you to start early? Like, idk if it’s the same for everyone, but for me my first year grades don’t go towards my overall degree, so I wasn’t too worried about how well I was doing, but I still wanted to do good of course. I usually started mine pretty late because I was like “uggggh I can’t do this hopefully tomorrow I’ll have an idea of where to start” but that was just kidding myself tbh. Just please try to give yourself enough time! I did a 1,500 word Philosophy essay in one night... like okay I still got an A1 but that was a fluke but THAT’S NOT THE POINT THE STRESS ISN’T WORTH IT I PROMISE!!!!! 

Okay okay wow that was long I apologise. I hope you found any of this post helpful! If you have any more questions please send them on! Good luck to anyone starting Uni this year or in the future, you’ll be fine, honestly!

[sweetnestor]

Story of Another Us | Week 7, Part 1

university au, platonic af, now on ao3!

this is the point where we (I, the lazy author) start skipping weeks, so donut fret for not finding weeks 5 and 6 bc they donut exist :)

previous chapter

Tell me if you wanted it at all

“Let me hear you,” Jack said.

I remained quiet, my face beet red.

“Come on, Bellers,” he coaxed.

“I don’t sing in front of people!” I blurted out, tangling my fingers together nervously.

“You sing in front of me!” interjected Mark, who was sat next to Jack on the sofa.

I hesitated. “B-But that’s different…”

“No, you always want someone to hear you sing before you post it on your channel!” he told me. “And it’s just me and Jack, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

I looked down at my keyboard. I was excited to sing for them earlier, but then the time came and I got cold feet. One of the few things I was proud of about myself was my ability to sing. I had perfect pitch since I took classes as a child. I could sing big vocals like it was nothing, high notes came easy to me. It was just intimidating every time someone heard me sing. I was being watched and judged and I was never good under that kind of stress.

But it was just Mark and Jack. I shouldn’t have been so nervous, but I was always nervous. I inhaled deeply and played the first few notes of the song I had chosen.

“I can still taste the ocean, like it was today…

You said ‘please keep on holding my hands’ and the rain it came too soon,

I will wait for you to love me again”

I kept my eyes on my fingers pressing the keys. In all honesty, I only wanted to sing this particular song to Mark because it made me think of him. I figured I would hint at it in the description box if I decided to be brave.

“Guess I was running from something, I was running back to you…”

Have you ever listened to a song and you just wanted to live in it? Or inject it into your veins? I had strong feelings when I heard this song, feelings similar to when I realized I really loved my boyfriend.

I took a quick glance at the two guys. They both had matching grins on their faces. I kept singing, slowly detaching myself from reality and getting lost in the music. And then came my favorite line:

“The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side…”

That particular line always made me emotional. I was full of darkness, I was negative. But I had Mark, and he was my light in this mess that was my life. I hadn’t realized how down I was until I wasn’t really there anymore. I didn’t expect him to “heal” or “fix” me, I just needed his help.

“What did I tell you?” he said to Jack when I had finished. “She’s incredible, right?”

My face went back to red.

“Yes, she is!” Jack agreed. “You’re really talented, Bella!”

“Thank you,” I responded.

“They’re going to love you,” Mark told me.

The next time I sang Outer Space, I had my camera on. I did it one take and just uploaded the video. I did covers every now and again on my channel. Those, along with the occasional daily vlogs, were insanely popular compared to my makeup tutorials/rants.

Mark went back to his house after I posted my video. He was always busy with whatever projects he had going on. He was script writing, preparing sketches with Matt and Ryan, editing videos, and slowly but surely working on a tour. That was mainly why I barely saw him these days, even when I stayed at his house. The only reason why it didn’t bother me that much was because I had Jack to keep me company.

Once I thought of that, it dawned on me that he wasn’t going to be here permanently. The semester ends in May, then he would be going back to Ireland. What would I do then? He was the only friend I had. I never realized how alone I was until he came along. I had fun with him. He was slowly taking me out of my shell.

I mean, yes, I had Mark. But like I said, he was always busy, and it’s considered “healthy” and “normal” to have other friends besides your boyfriend. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I was alone again.

What did I do to distract myself from my future of crippling loneliness? I isolated myself in my bathroom and washed my collection of makeup brushes. When you’re a socially anxious makeup artist who uses online shopping as a coping mechanism, that takes up a lot of time. I had barely gotten through one brand of brushes before I heard footsteps out in my room.

“Baller!” Jack called. That’s a new one.

“In here!” I replied, reached over from the sink to open the door.

He came over and saw me, tilting his head. “What are you doing?”

“Washing brushes,” I said.

“All of those?” he asked in surprise, pointing to the giant pile on the counter.

I shrugged. “I’ve been putting off cleaning them.”

“Do you need help? Looks like you’re going to be here a while.”

“Sure, if you’re not busy.”

He happily approached the counter and stood next to me by the sink. I handed him a dirty brush and showed him how to properly wash it. It was simple, and now that there were two of us doing, things were getting done faster.

“So, what got you into makeup?” he prompted after a while. “Why do you like it so much?”

Oh man.

“Are you sure you wanna hear that story?” I asked in response.

“Yes!”

I sighed. This was a tough subject. “To put it shortly, there was a point in my life where everything sucked. I mean, there’s been plenty of times where everything sucked, but this one was pretty bad. I just wanted to feel good about something, so I bought a cheap little eyeshadow palette and wore that whenever I was down. Of course, that expanded and escalated, and here I am now.”

Jack nodded. “So you wear makeup when you’re sad?”

“I used to. But now I do it because I love it and it’s fun. I actually went to beauty school and everything, but I never finished it because of YouTube.”

“Well, that’s cool.” Jack put one brush aside and picked up another. “I didn’t know it was personal, by the way, I’m sorry if I was prying or anything.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve wanted to make a video on why I got into makeup for a long time since I never talked about it, but I don’t want to seem depressing. Like… I want something like that to be helpful instead of just sharing my sob story.”

“It must be really serious then. Don’t worry about how you’ll sound. If you think you need to talk about it, then do it. If you think it’ll help someone, that’s even better.”

It was itching at me now that I had spoken out loud about it. I had never talked about this with anyone. Not Mark, not even my therapist. It was like a crying fit stuck in my throat and it refused to come out. Not that I particularly wanted it to, anyway.

“I’m still thinking about it,” I  concluded.

“Well, no matter what you decide,” Jack said, “you have my support.”

“Thank you.”

He was so easy to talk to. I was fighting myself not to just spill everything out and burden him with the things that I’ve done. I couldn’t expose him to how bad I really was, and I really didn’t want to tell him something that I couldn’t even tell to my boyfriend.

Ironically, Jack asked if Mark knew this deep, dark story, and I said no. I hadn’t told anyone.

“Do you think you need to talk about it?”

“Yeah, but not anytime soon.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No. It’s a thing of the past.”

~

Exams and midterms still took place. It was mainly for the students transferring to actual universities after YTU closed for good, but everybody attending still had to take them. I was never good at studying, or good at school in general, but I managed to get by.

One of my classes, English, required group work, and that was a nightmare. I was interacting with others, but I still remained friendless. My yoga class sometimes involved partner poses, but I had Jack there to help me. That was probably one reason why we got closer.

But alas, Jack was leaving soon and then things won’t be the same anymore. I had Sophie - kind of - she was more of an acquaintance. She would mostly talk and I would listen. She had plenty of other friends, and her best friend, who I had in my yoga class. I was easily replaceable.

I had Mark too, but he was spreading himself thin lately. As much as he denied it, he was slowly stressing himself out. I would try to help him, but I was afraid of making him snap. He was just busy all the time, practically leaving me alone with Jack. Maybe that was another reason I got close to him. But that’s what Mark wanted, right? He wanted me to have at least one friend so that way, he didn’t have to worry or feel guilty that he was away from me all the time. That wasn’t a bad thing, I did need friendship.

It was a typical warm day… well, it wasn’t warm to me. Jack was a bit miserable, claiming it was “hot as fucking balls.”

“This is nothing compared to the summertime,” I told him, amused. “In my hometown, it’s all desert, so you’d get the dryest heat of your life. Oh, and during the spring, it’s so windy that you’re pretty much eating dirt.”

We were both out of class early due to exams. We had extra time to kill. It was nearing five o’clock and the campus was particularly barren. I didn’t have any videos to film today, and Jack liked to film well into the night.

“Can we go to the Tube?” he asked. “I heard it’s good.”

“Really?” I asked in response, my stomach immediately flipping over.

The Tube was a diner/bar specifically for vloggers, and it was connected with the university. I had only been there once, and I ended up having a panic attack in the bathroom. That was the last time I went to a restaurant… until I started dating Mark.

“Yeah, I’ve never been there! Please?” Jack asked, giving me and exaggerated pout.

I had to give in. I didn’t want to ruin everything, even if it meant sacrificing my own comfort and mental health. We walked down the street to the diner, my jaw clenched shut from the nerves.

Jack went to order us drinks while I found us a booth. It wasn’t particularly busy today, but there were intimidating vloggers scattered here and there. Some of them were looking at Jack, who was far more known and respected than I was.

He came over to the booth with two beers and sat across from me. “I don’t know what you like, so I went with Coors.”

“That’s fine,” I said, accepting the bottle and taking a gulp. Alcohol helped me relax in social situations. “I actually don’t drink that much.” Because I never go outside, therefore I had no reason to cope-drink.

“How come?” he asked. “You strike me as someone who does shots and cocktails.”

I shook my head, chuckling a little. “Nope. The idea that a liquid can impair your thoughts and actions is a bit terrifying.” Yet it’s one of your maladaptive behaviors. Okay then, Bella.

Jack rolled his eyes, amused. “Are you a lightweight, Bellers?”

I was embarrassed by that little fact for some reason. “No…”

“Chug your beer, then.”

“iChale! No way!”

“Come on! I’ll do it with you! Look!” Without missing a beat, Jack took his own bottle and began to down it.

Fuck it. This bout of nerves and anxiety wasn’t going to go down by itself. I tipped down my beverage, though I didn’t feel any different once I finished it. Beer never really did it for me, I needed something stronger.

“You drunk yet?” Jack jokingly asked when he put down his empty bottle.

“It’s gonna take more than that, mijito,” I said back.

At one point, a waiter came by and replaced our drinks with new ones. Jack ordered some food as well, and we got settled in.

“So, how’d you meet Signe?” I asked.

“She made some art of me, and I started talking to her on Tumblr,” he replied. “There was this time where she was streaming, she was drawing a picture of me. I went onto the stream and watched a little bit, and I told her ‘you better draw me pretty.’ She told me to go fuck myself.”

I giggled. “How romantic.”

“Yeah… I really miss her.” He took another sip of his beer. “How did you and Mark meet?”

“It was here at YTU. We had some classes together, and we were partnered together on a project,” I said. “And you know me, I was super quiet and awkward. Except, when he tried to make conversation with me, I did not want to cooperate.”

“Same old Bella,” Jack commented, smiling. “So you were friends before you started dating?”

“Yeah, we only started dating in October, but we’re pretty close.”

“Do you not drink because he can’t?”

“It’s a personal choice. You’d think with all the shit I have in here-” I pointed to my head “-I’d be a raging alcoholic. But no.”

“That makes you a very strong person. I respect that.”

I smiled. “Thanks, dude! Wanna do a shot or two?”

“Sure!”

When the waiter came with our food, I managed to order two tequila shots. One bright side of my drinking-in-social-situations habit, I could do things on my own without shaking as much. However, I was still too polite and shy to say anything when we were presented with a whole plate of tequila shots.

Jack was giggling once the waiter had gone. “Is this what you ordered?”

I hesitated. “I did say a shot or two…”

“Oh, tiny little Baller. Ready?” He took one small glass and held it up.

I took a deep breath and held up my own. “Let’s do this. To… friendship?”

“To friendship!”

And down went the first shot.

It burned my throat, but not enough to make me want to throw it back up. It just made me want to drink more. I was feeling better and more free as the alcohol set into my system. More people entered the diner, and I wasn’t plagued with the urge to hide in the bathroom. But if I did feel that, then I had more tequila to help me out with that.

I looked through my phone at one point, some time after emptying two more shot glasses. I was making sure I didn’t receive any texts from Mark. As usual, I had no new notifications, so I scrolled on Tumblr, and my heart began to burst.

“Jack,” I said urgently. “I need to tell you something.”

“Tell me,” he replied, leaning forward in his seat. His cheeks were flushed.

“You fans are so fucking nice, dude. I love them.”

“I know! Thank you! They’re being nice to you?”

“They’re drawing fanart, and they say my makeup is pretty!” I could have cried in that moment. “They also have this funny idea that we should be together.”

“That's called shipping,” Jack pointed out.

“I know, I'm just thinking,” I said, “maybe the shippers are going to my head or something.” I hesitated. “Do you think if you didn't have Signe, and I didn't have Mark, that we…” I let my sentence finish itself.

He actually considered it, looking at his empty shot glass with a lot of thought. “I don't know. I can't imagine myself with anyone but Signe. You and me? Maybe… in another life probably.”

“Another story,” I added. “Una historia de otros nosotros.”

“I'm going to pretend like I understood that.” Jack chuckled. “Do you actually think we could work?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I mean, we're complete opposites, but maybe that's not a bad thing. You bring out my happy, energetic side, and I…”

“You teach me how to shut the fuck up,” Jack continued. “No but really, you taught me more about anxiety.”

“You make me want to be a better person,” I said, my words slurring a little bit. “You’ve made me feel less lonely. God, you're such a nice, good person Jack! I don't deserve a friend like you!”

“Aw, you're so sweet, Baller!” he replied. “I'm glad we're friends on some level, y'know? Sure, in another story we could be more than that, but I'm happy where we are right now. Besties, and nothing more.”

“Exactly! We should get bracelets or something...” I could have cried, this was such a nice moment. I really did love Jack, as much as you can love a good friend.

“If you and Mark ever break up, I'm still hanging out with you,” he said. “That's how close I think we are.”

“Bros before hoes doesn't apply to me?”

“You're a bro! The best bro, queen of the bros!”

“You sound like Felix.” I giggled.

“Maybe that's a sign we've had too much to drink. Let's call someone, shall we?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” I pulled out my phone, somehow managing to dial Mark.

“Bellaboo!” he greeted upon answering.

“Hi Markimoo!” I greeted back, giggling like a little girl. “My love, my life, my wife!”

He chuckled on the other line. “Where are you?”

“Me and the Jack decided to have special friend time,” I explained. “We’re having fun, but maybe too much fun. There was tequila involved.”

“Oh, I understand. Can you drive, babe?”

Everything he was saying was funny. “I don’t think so. Could you be the bestest, sweetest person ever and pick us up? Estamos cerca del universidad, si sabes?”

“English, honey,” he told me.

“Y’know that one bar, restaurant, thing by campus? That’s where you’ll find me and my son.”

“Jack is your son now?” Mark laughed.

“Yes, I adopted him, and we’re raising him together! Right, Jack?”

“Right!” he replied even though he didn’t hear what me and Mark were talking about.

“Okay, I’ll be right there, baby,” Mark told me.

“Thank yooouu, I love yoouu,” I sang before hanging up.

_______

next chapter

[humorepoch9-blog]

Tips from students to help improve your teaching (opinion)

The first recommendation of the American Academy’s recent report "The Future of Undergraduate Education" is simple: we should work to improve undergraduate instruction.

But how? In many disciplines, we don’t have rigorous measures of learning, so we cannot easily identify the best practitioners and simply copy what they do. Undergraduate students, however, experience numerous teachers and a lot of instruction, some good and some bad. They are a source of valuable information about what constitutes good practice.

So, at a recent event co-sponsored by the Center for Ethics and Education, the University of Wisconsin at Madison College of Letters and Science, and the American Academy, we asked five undergraduate students at the university to describe instructional practices that they’ve encountered rarely but were especially effective -- and that they think should be more widely shared. Of course, some strategies work in some disciplines better than others, in some kinds of classes better than others and for some instructors better than others. Here’s what the students at the event told us.

Christian Cuevas, a senior majoring in computer science: One strategy that more professors should use, especially in STEM classes but also anytime a complex solution or process needs to be explained, is to explain all the details. While that can result in professors covering information that may seem painfully obvious to them, it saves students confusion. When professors skip over steps of a problem and only focus on those they feel are the most crucial or important, it puts the burden on students to connect the dots in their heads, while still trying to pay attention to the stream of information in the lecture.

Few steps in a solution are obvious to students who have never encountered a similar problem before. Even if some steps are easy to figure out upon reflection, students lack the bandwidth to reflect while also taking notes and ingesting the lecture. Skipping steps risks students leaving the classroom with little understanding and having to put the scattered pieces together on their own.

By covering solutions in their entirety, professors allow their students to focus on absorbing the complex new information in front of them. That frees students to ask questions and leaves them with complete examples in their notes, which can be crucial when they are trying to solve similar problems in their homework or when studying for exams.

Imagine you were trying to bake a cake and you had never done it before. Suppose that the recipe skipped directly from beating the eggs to putting the finished batter in the oven, ignoring all the steps in between. You would fail! The missing steps might be intellectually uninteresting to the master baker, but the novice baker has to learn them. Just as we need to be guided through every detail when baking a cake for the first time, we also need thorough guidance when approaching a difficult calculus or physics problem for the first time.

Alexis Argall (B.A. 2018), a political science and communication and life sciences major: At a large research institution like UW Madison, it is easy to feel like “just another number.” Many professors would like to know their students personally but don’t know how to do it; others seem to share information with students and then forget about them until next class period. Yet a professor in one of my classes used a strategy that others should try.

Participation was worth 30 percent of our grade, and it included a requirement to email the professor weekly with a connection that we had made between something that we’d discussed in class and something outside of it. That connection could come from another course or from our personal lives -- anything that made us stop and remember what we had learned that week. It forced me to think about the material outside of class and helped me find practical applications for what I was learning.

We were not graded rigidly on the content of our emails but rather just that we had made some sort of meaningful connection. Grading them on a submission basis rather than a content basis saved a lot of time for my professor, while still pressing us to process the information.

For my professor, the benefit was learning more about us as “whole people” rather than just students in her class. It gave her a more holistic view of us students, as well as forced us to actively process what we were learning. The requirement made us learn more, and the sense that the professor knew who we were made us want to learn more.

Joe Venuta (B.A. 2018), a philosophy major: One valuable lesson I’ve learned has been how to approach negative feedback. Specifically, I have come to realize the value in engaging with criticism and improving the work on which it is given. And I would not have discovered this without professors whose classes required me to do so.

In many classes, faculty members give comments on assignments in writing along with the final grade. While that kind of feedback can be a tool for improvement, it is too easy for students to brush comments off and simply keep those things in mind for next time rather than consider how they might be addressed. Furthermore, students often see such comments as the instructor’s justification for giving a less than perfect score rather than what it really is: an opportunity to improve that particular assignment.

My professors have used two main strategies for inducing students to process negative feedback. One was to require the submission of a draft in advance. While successful students often work through multiple drafts anyway, submitting a draft for review forces them to consider major weaknesses in their assignment that they may otherwise overlook. In addition, submitting an improved final draft after responding to any criticism can help show students the value and achievability of addressing shortcomings.

Another strategy is through in-person conferences. A back-and-forth discussion requires students to face specific criticisms head-on. It also allows them to become more comfortable with defending their work while staying composed -- a valuable skill in any field. While in-person conferences do require more time from both the student and professor, a conversation lasting even 15 minutes can help.

Personalized criticism from professors is a valuable resource, one that is too rarely used. Whether through multiple drafts or in-person discussions, engaging with negative feedback can benefit students in any area of study.

Kailey Mullane, a sophomore majoring in communication arts and economics: My first thought when I was invited to speak was, “I am not qualified to be giving world-renowned professors technical teaching strategies that will solve all their classroom problems.” But then I thought about what makes classes valuable to me. Numerous factors come into play: material, class size, other students and so on. However, I realized that one simple thing consistently makes classes better: when teachers make the students introduce themselves at the start of each class period in the first few weeks.

Students introducing and saying a little bit about themselves (like majors and hometowns) really changes the dynamic. Knowing a classmate’s name instantly creates a more inviting environment and is the first step in developing a relationship. In those classes, I notice that instead of sitting silently staring at screens, students actually talk to one another before class starts. They talk during class: students are more willing to offer comments, ask questions and disagree with one another. And they talk to each other outside of class, often about the material -- which means there is more outside learning.

Time is precious. But in small classes, introductions take just three to five minutes. Large lectures are more difficult, but TAs can effectively administer that process in discussion sections. Just taking time at the start of each class to have students introduce themselves can have invaluable effects in and beyond the classroom.

Chlodagh Walsh, (B.B.A. 2018), a finance, investment and banking major: My first semesters of college were filled with mostly large lecture classes, the "weed out" type that could ruin your GPA or force you to change your major. On the first day of class, professors would outline the predetermined curves and tell us exactly how many students would receive A's, regardless how much we learned. One professor told us that, while we should be able to complete 80 percent of the exams using his lectures, we could not prepare for the more nuanced application of the material that constituted the remaining 20 percent.

The first class in my major was accompanied by a 19-page syllabus that we were tested on. The professor graded us based on our class rank; if you did better than half of the 300-person class, you received a grade of 50 percent. He set the grading practices to mimic the business world that we were set to enter: cutthroat and ultracompetitive. The syllabus stated that if you aced an exam, the professor would take you out to dinner -- as far as I know, he has never had to follow through. Most class participation was involuntary; the professor cold-called students unsystematically, so we shied away from wearing clothing that might draw his attention. I found a good hiding place, just outside his usual line of sight.

I had a different class in the same room a year later. It was another large, entry-level class that was subject to the GPA restrictions of the business school, which sets a maximum average class GPA of 3.0. So I was pretty surprised when the professor said she had hoped to see high test averages. She explained that our test scores were an indication of her teaching; if she were doing her job right, we should score well.

She made me view my GPA as a reflection of not only my effort but also the quality of the instruction I was receiving. The way she framed the class from the beginning emphasized our learning ahead of grades, which I came to understand are not synonymous.

Since many people performed well, the letter grade differentials at the high end reflected the GPA regulations more than student competencies. I can understand the business school may have reasons to regulate govern grading, so I was not frustrated by that. Instead, with the help of the professor, I learned to value the knowledge and skills -- the learning -- that I gained more than whatever direction my GPA moved after finals.

Students admired this professor and volunteered topics to discuss at the onset of each class. She invited us to her office hours and made us welcome when we came. The TAs spoke highly of her in discussion sections. The atmosphere was remarkably different than the lecture style I was used to and reduced the interstudent competition that other large classes encouraged. I wasn’t afraid of being caught off guard and embarrassed by answering a question wrong, so I didn’t need to hide in class or avoid eye contact. The environment made us less afraid of failing and more intellectually ambitious.

I applied this perspective to other classes, regardless of each professor's structure. I was less stressed about exam scores and more concerned about my actual understanding. As a self-identified really good crammer, I had perfected scoring high and learning little for years, but that seemed less attractive now.

Knowing my class standing was less interesting, too: my own learning was what mattered. I have found most students succeed when professors don’t intend to intimidate, reduce the reliance on grades as a measure of success, and identify student learning as the measure of their own success.

*******

One point of publicizing these students’ comments is just to provide good additions to the instructors’ toolbox. Of course, for any suggestion, the instructor has to reflect on whether it will work for them, in their discipline and in their situation. The second point is to encourage administrators and instructors to seek out and disseminate considered student suggestions. Thoughtful students are invaluable resources when we are looking to improve, and their insights are solicited too rarely.

Source: https://www.insidehighered.com/advice/2018/09/04/tips-students-help-improve-your-teaching-opinion

[samuelthorpfutureworks-blog]

XB2178 - Specialism

Goals for specialism

My aim within the industry is to become a narrative designer, a role that combines both gameplay and storytelling, as such I felt a fitting specialist project would be to create my own dialogue system as well as a story, characters and dialogue to go with it, which I felt worked well towards my aim, I was also planning on doing all the modelling for the assignment as well.

For the first part of my specialism I focused on just getting the framework for the dialogue system working, a challenge in itself given the sparse resources on the subject of dialogue based systems, the few that are out there are limited and outdated and inevitably lead to more problems down the road anyway.

However by the end of the first semester I had a solid, if not a little janky, working base to build upon going into my second part of the project, where my goal was to improve upon the system as well as write a story and dialogue with about seven characters to talk to.

Of course not everything goes to plan, in fact it rarely goes to plan, as such there were numerous changes throughout the project for a number of reasons, some good and some bad.

Modelling

One of the first major aspects of my plan that I changed was myself doing all of the modeling for environmental assets and for all of the characters as well, I instead opted to use premade assets and to do none of the modelling myself, I changed this for a number of reasons but the most prominent would have to be that it was for the most part irrelevant to what I want to specialise in, nameley narrative and gameplay. I felt this would have distracted from the more important areas of my project and at the same time they didn’t really push me towards my own goals. This combined with me being somewhat burnt out when it comes to modeling for sci-fi environments ultimately led to me deciding against doing the modeling for the level. This would also free me up to work harder on both the dialogue system and actual dialogue for the characters, as well as giving me additional time to bug fix and refine the game rather than rushing out a project that does everything in a medicor fashion.

In the end I feel this was definitely the right call for the project as to try and do all the modelling would have only led to lesser results on all fronts

All environment art assets were acquired from the unreal marketplace, all character models and animations were acquired from Mixamo

Amount of characters

So when planning out the story and characters for my game I had planned on their being more characters than ended up being, I envisioned about eight characters in the game that the player could speak to and gain information from, as the story is a murder investigation I was going to have four suspects and four information givers, however I found that too many characters would be too confusing to keep track of and two of the information givers were rather meaningless to the story. Also wary of the games length becoming a tad overlong I decided the best course of action would be to merge some of the characters together, this kept the story a little simpler and a little more concise while also making the four main suspects seem more intertwined a little bit.

The end result is five characters in total, one information giver/ tutorial and then the four suspects whom I merged most of the information giver dialogue into.

Objective Marker

One thing that I decided to add as oppose to remove was objective markers that point the player towards the characters they can talk to as I felt it would be too easy for player to miss speaking to a character by walking past them and just not noticing them, the objective markers ensure they notice all the characters.

They objective marker works similarly to the game Dishonored, were when facing the marker it appears more prominent but when facing away from the marker it scrolls around the edge of the screen, it also tells the player the distance between them and the character they wish to speak to.

It was actually rather simple to create in the end as the instructions for how to make it were easily findable online.  

Journal

A feature I was originally planning on having a journal list or evidence list of sorts that would provide the player a way to see the info they’ve already gathered, I managed to implement this in a basic form but I ultimately removed this for a few reasons. It would make the investigation too easy and I wanted to strike a middle ground in terms of difficulty and I wouldn’t have enough time to properly balance it, the second reason I removed it was because I wanted players to pay attention to the dialogue and not just skip through only to read the journal list at the end, I felt this was the best way to encourage players paying attention. And finally the last reason I had it removed was because of me having lowered the number of npcs in the game which made the story and characters easier to remember, had I kept the original eight characters that I had planned then I would have probably kept this feature too but with the lowered amount it works fine without.

Dialogue System

So obviously a major part of my project is the dialogue system so I felt it extremely important to get this right especially.  

I already had the framework from the first part of my project but their was still a lot to improve on, one of the first things I aimed to improve was the possible length of a conversation sentence, in the original dialogue system for the first part of specialism it was restricted to one sentence replies from the npcs which didn’t create for very fluid dialogue and made it extremely hard for me to get an adequate amount of information across, so I saw this as the first thing to improve, I blueprinted a system that let npc’s have continued sentences which allowed me convey more information to the player and extend conversations naturally where they would occur which gave me a lot more freedom when it come to writing the dialogue.

For much of the rest of the project, the improvements I made to the dialogue system were to make it easier to use on my end, making it faster and more efficient for me implement my own dialogue and sorting the blueprints into reusable functions that allowed me to streamline the process, while it still wasn’t great or even that practical to work with, it was still a lot better than before the second semester.

Finally I improved the UI of the dialogue system, where it had previously been using a weapon wheel for its dialogue wheel, I changed it to better suit the six option limit I intended for the dialogue. I also added an overlay so that the text stood out against the background and option boxes with lines drawn to the wheel to make it clear which option the player is picking.

The Dialogue

The dialogue was surprisingly difficult to write for, while I was no expert when it came to writing in general, I’d had a little experience, but writing branching dialogue for a dialogue system proved quite the challenge.

Once I had planned out the story and characters I moved onto the dialogue, in order to differentiate between the characters, i planned each characters dialogue a little differently to each other, both in the structure of the dialogue branches and the dialogue itself, after all the dialogue was planned and written I tested it out in game to see which kind dialogue structure worked and which didn’t, finding some dialogue to be too easy to fail too quickly I went back and rewrote certain characters dialogue with one of the dialogue structures that worked better to ensure that players didn’t feel cheated or dissatisfied with how easy it is to fail.

A number of challenges arose when writing the dialogue however, specifically in writing enough options that were of equal quality to each other, it wasn’t easy writing dialogue for options that i knew no one would see. but because of the possibility that someone might just by chance happen to click that option I needed to make it the same quality as the rest.

Further challenges arise in trying to write dialogue for a game feature, were dialogue needs to be a certain length because too much could cause it to go off screen or clip into another option and each npc reply is another set of blueprint nodes that I have to make and implement, its also an interactive story driven game so replies need to be long enough that players feel they got a worthy amount of story from picking an option but not too much otherwise it would become boring.

There is also the issue of having to write dialogue that makes sense regardless of what players picked previously, which makes it really hard to reference back to previous things stated during dialogue because it's possible that this specific player didn't pick that option in the past and so it wouldn't make sense to them now.

What went well

The dialogue system, mostly, while it is still very janky even after I’ve polished it some I feel it ultimately succeeds at what I was hoping to set out for.

From people who have tested the game i've heard they liked the dialogue specifically, though I’m overly critical of my own work it is nice to hear such positive feedback all the same, it is however still an area that I wish to improve on going forward in future though.

I’m glad I managed to get the character models and animations in as even though they don't specifically relate to narrative design they do help players identify and reaffirm the characters personalities for the player.

What Didn't

Also the dialogue system, while I am overall pleased with the result it doesnt change the fact that this was the most difficult thing to make and refine of the whole project, hampered by its initial limitations as the tutorial that I used as a starting point for it clearly did not intend for it to be used for something like this and that it's incredibly impractical for such a full scale project.

Another thing that didn’t turn out like I hoped was the level itself, while I created a much larger level with a wider array of assets, I was unfortunately unable to get it it package  or build due to an unknown lighting build error for which I couldn't find a fix.

[deverynoobiest]

lmao here it is cuz I am desperately seeking a way out of what feels like a stupid cycle        

   This reflection is sort of rambling, so apologies in advance, but I have a lot of sort of disconnected thoughts about my situation and my first semester than I wanted to put on paper.

��I’m just going to preface this by saying I think the whole commencement speech is pretty rich (particularly the first two sections) coming from someone who was worth a million dollars by the time they were 23 and is delivering a speech at a university with a less than 5% acceptance rate, but I guess in a way you could still see that as making the self reflection more profound. We never see the people who now work at McDonalds telling us about how great trying to follow their heart went. That being said, I think there’s some validity to what Jobs says, in particular the third section on death (it being the great equalizer and all), so I wanted to mostly focus on that third section in reflecting.

My first day on campus was honestly less emotional than I had expected. It just felt like another step, not something any bigger than getting a job or moving into a different room. I felt a little apprehensive knowing that college would be more work than high school had been, but honestly waking up at 6:30 and getting home at 3:25 was a lot harder than the work I’ve done so far in college daily (this will probably change once I’m past my first semester or at least my first year, so I’ll get back to me to see if I feel the same way).

I’m sort of lacking in the goals and dreams department. While I don’t think it’s rare to feel like you don’t know where your life is going, I often find myself feeling completely rudderless. To be honest, this hasn’t really changed since the beginning of the semester. I wonder whether college is right for me fairly often. The classes I’m taking have been fine, I’ve met nice people and I like all of my professors, but sometimes it just feels like an extension of high school, something that for the most part I think is due to my lack of a specific subject to study and focus on. Taking a year off last year was meant to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life but I don’t really think I did enough self reflection and I didn’t really try to find something that I love doing.

I don’t think that specific moments have had a huge impact on me this semester, but doing things like going to concerts or just walking somewhere nice to eat have been a great change of pace from the difficulty I had in finding things to do when I lived in Northfield. It makes me happy that I chose to live in a bigger city. It helps that a college campus is fairly insulated from some of the problems that I know other people have with living in a bigger city, but so far it’s been nice to have something to do besides sit in the one restaurant that felt like it wasn’t exclusively for people over the age of 45 (no offense to those restaurants, Northfield just so often felt like it was lacking in things for younger people to do).

My biggest challenges this semester have all been in finding motivation. This is something I’ve always struggled with; I know everyone wants to just lie in bed all day instead of going to work or class sometimes, but I have a nasty habit of following through on those impulses. One of my biggest fears coming into this year was that, without my mom to yell at me if I didn’t go to class, I’d completely skip out and just do nothing all day. While this hasn’t been the case, I had about a two week period in the middle of the semester where I found it incredibly difficult to motivate myself to do almost anything productive; it’s gotten better since then, but it’s something I’m gonna have to work on.

While I wouldn’t say that Job’s message of following your heart is leaving me with only “drop out” in my head, it’s a message that I’ve heard enough times for it to resonate in a way that’s specific to my situation. I’m at college this year because it just felt like the next logical step, but without something to feel passionate about pursuing I feel directionless. I can’t really say that I’m excited for next semester for this reason because I’m afraid it’s going to be more of the same, but at least if it is more of the same I’ll know that I need to make a change. I’m very excited for my Study Abroad program in New Zealand next May; to me it feels a bit like the gap year I took, but I’ll need to do some serious self reflection while I’m away if I want to come away feeling satisfied.

I guess I should more directly address the commencement speech from Steve Jobs, especially since I do feel parts of it are applicable to my own situation. The section on death is sort of a mixed bag for me; on the one hand, I think Jobs’ point about following your heart has a lot of validity; on the other, it really stresses me out to think about. I’ll address the latter point first: it feels hard for me to want to “follow my heart” when I have all of 0 passion for almost anything; the only thing it seems I really enjoy doing is consuming a ridiculous amount of media (sports, movies, tv, games, podcasts, jumping around to random Wikipedia' articles for hours on end) and then discussing it; more recently I’ve been wondering whether that’s applicable to anything practical in any way. Perhaps I’ll start a Youtube channel and just rant for hours about whatever I’ve been interested in lately. Jobs’ point also stresses me out because it gets me thinking about how much time I’ve wasted just doing whatever was set in front of me; unfortunately, it’s easier to do that than to do nothing at all with my time.

“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”; his quote is probably the most stressful part, since my heart and intuition don’t seem to have a damn clue what they want to become most of the time. Maybe I need to lower my expectations or standards for what’s interesting to me. The more I think about this, the more that it seems like an incredibly entitled and privileged situation to be in and to be complaining about.

However, I do think that the idea of following your heart can still apply to me, as it seems following the generic path of high school degree into college degree into whatever day job suits me just isn’t working for me. I guess I hope rather than think that it applies to me, as the daily grind feels extremely futile to me most of the time (it did when I worked a full time job as well, so this isn’t just me whining about college taking up the time I’d otherwise waste).

 Again, my apologies that this was all sort of rambling and vague, but I often find that days become blurred in my memory and all just feel kind of same-y. I’ve had some great experiences this year with meeting new people (I carpooled with some friends to a museum trip for my poli sci class and it’s been great to talk to them), but I also feel sometimes like my experience is more generic and nondescript than I’d like. I know that it’s up to me to make that change, I just don’t want to waste even more time by trying to change it for the sake of change rather than molding my life and taking it in a direction where I’ll actually feel something more than apathy.

I’m kinda sorry that I made you read this, since it’ll probably come off as whiny even to me by tomorrow morning but I felt like I needed to get a lot of it off my chest. My experience at the U has actually been pleasant, all of my professors are great and it feels like they genuinely care,  it’s just felt so nondescript and impersonal (for reasons that are my own fault) that I’ve had a hard time feeling like this situation is any better than it would be if I were doing almost anything else. Maybe if I actually went and did something else it would feel different, but I worked full time for a full year and felt basically the same way the whole year as I have this year. Maybe I just need to get out more.

           Will